#he is just a funny guy he should have lived
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hyperions-light · 1 day ago
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hey I was planning another post today but instead let’s talk about how much I love that there’s not really a ‘good’ ending to the companion plotlines in Veilguard. It reminds me of Leliana and Alistair’s plotlines in DAO in that what you choose says more about the player/protagonist than anything
I just finished Isana Negat a second time, and I did the other ending and I thought it was just as good. Like, yeah, Harding does deserve to be angry! They did fucking get everything taken away from them! It’s so painful and horrific; yes you can, and should, be mad! But also Harding prioritizing her very real love for and compassion towards other people is not wrong. It’s just different! It’s just Rook’s friend/lover asking them for advice, and Rook giving it! You know, like in real life except with huge magical rock giants
And okay I’m never going to kill Illario because I think it would make Luca really sad and he has enough problems, Whoops I misremembered this, I don’t think you can kill Illario actually. I love that for Luca <3 But yk, I’m probably still not going to imprison him. but I can see it! Because the cycle has to end, right? The violence and infighting of the Crows endlessly attacking each other over power is part of what allowed the Antaam to get a foothold in Antiva, because there was like a double agent or something (if I’m remembering right from Tev Nights). Some kind of ending needs to be made to this endless violence. And I suppose it depends on how retributive Rook is, which is a great question to ask of the player (one that is asked repeatedly throughout the game). It’s not like Illario didn’t do anything, you know! He probably deserves punishment. But Rook, as they always can at various points, can be merciful, can choose absolution. Wow no, I’m glad I was wrong I love it more like this.
And oh boy, I LOVED the ending of Emmrich’s quest, don’t even get me started! Like!! I thought it was going to be ‘well obviously we HAVE to save Manfred’, but how Emmrich talks about accepting his death and his sacrifice convinced me! I was like alright man, this is a real choice! I actually did make him a lich last time (made a lot of sense from a Watcher perspective, imo) and not only was the cutscene sick as hell, but the follow-up was so funny and I got some really sad Spite dialogue which fucking wrecked me. It was great— seriously, his plotline is one of my favorites in the whole game.
And Davrin’s! I’ve already expounded at length about how much I like his quest line and how it ties into the Grey Wardens, but I really think both of his options for the griffons are so workable, because you know the Grey Wardens, especially under Antione and Evka, aren’t going to hurt those little guys again! But also the scenes with Eldrin are so endearing, and Davrin’s hope for a brighter future for them is so sweet and genuine. It’s hard to pick! It’s about Rook's perspective!
Neve's I'll admit I don't vibe with as much just because of the like 'trust the authorities' angle, but i haven't tried saving Minrathous yet and I think it would be sooooo involving as a Shadow Dragon especially. Because that's what they're fighting for, right? That better Minrathous where they CAN be sure that if they send the insane cultist lady to prison she’s going to stay there? But there’s always the practical consideration of people’s lives being at stake NOW, of Neve needing her friends safe NOW. And just killing Aelia ensures she will never be an issue again. So I can see both angles for sure
And Taash ;-; oh, Taash. I haven’t posted about them that much yet because they make me very emotional and it’s hard to organize thoughts like that. But I really love their quest, and their struggle to define themselves. And look, I know people wanted the option to tell them they could be both, but like as a person who has lived a similar experience, it really feels sometimes like the world is making you choose. It can feel like you’re not enough of either thing for anyone. And there are parts of your identity that you will have to make a choice on, and I think it’s trying to speak to that. I did the Rivaini one, and it’s like… well, they’re embracing the culture of Rivain, but it’s not like anyone is ever going to look at them and NOT see a Qunari. You can’t get away from that. What you choose to do in response is a real dilemma and I think that if you engage with the text genuinely you can see what Trick was doing. Also, there is a really great dialogue from Rook that I think gives more context to the discussion; they can say that they have been many things, and it’s important to take what works from each experience and make it part of yourself. So I don’t think Taash’s plot is trying to make them throw away any of themselves, just defining priorities. (Sorry, that got long. Feelings, opinions about that one)
And I don’t think Bellara’s is obvious, either, especially with how they involve the Nadas Dirthalen in her personal plot. This is a thing that is really emotionally and culturally significant to her, but at the same time it is part of what hurt her brother and ultimately took him away from her. She’s really preoccupied with not causing harm by her actions; she spends the whole game worried about it! And even though Rook doesn’t see the dangerous elements of the repository, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. The puzzle quest you can find in Arlathan proves that other people besides Cyrian were taken in by Anaris. And also, there’s the plot thread they briefly touched on in the last game which is that the culture the Dalish have built, that they have RIGHT NOW, is not wrong. But it’s also important to remember history, even if it’s unpleasant or could be dangerous, which is another thing you can discuss with Bellara during the game. So there’s no wrong choice! It’s just about Rook and Bellara and what’s important from their perspectives.
Anyway it was super refreshing to have these kinds of choices! It reminds me of the best character choices in DAI and DAO, especially, and I’m so happy they carried those things forward and improved on them.
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sturniolowhore · 3 days ago
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Not Now
Pairing: semi!toxic!chris x fem!reader
Summary: After your fight with Chris, your friends try and cheer you up. You go to La La Land with Jake and Tara and they invite you to a party.
Warnings: Use of y/n (sorry), angst, fluff
a/n: Based on this ask. Divider by @issysh3ll. I don’t want anyone to copy my work or use it as “inspiration.” 02
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On the drive home, you started thinking about what would happen next. What if you guys never made up? Would he take you back? More importantly, would you take him back?
Your eyes start to tear up, and you promised yourself you wouldn't cry over him, but you just couldn't stop yourself from crying. It was probably unsafe to drive while crying, but you couldn't help it. You let a tear fall from your eyes, and wipe it away with the back of your hand.
You park your car, and go inside your house. You take your shoes off and crawl into your bed. Your eyes tear up again at the memory of Chris yelling at you. You just couldn't believe he would do that after you opened up and told him about your ex. You start to sob, hiding away in the covers and burying your head into the pillows. Eventually you start to drift off until you fall asleep.
Chris's POV
He starts to pace around the kitchen and the living room with is hands in his hair. Matt comes out of his room and just watches as he paces.
"You okay? I heard yelling." Matt says.
"No, y/n just broke up with me. I don't even get it. Like she was the one being so dramatic. I didn't even yell at her that loudly either." He says, rolling his eyes.
"Oh she was being dramatic? That's funny." Matt says, raising a brow.
"What does that mean? You think I was being dramatic?" Chris says, looking frustrated.
"Yeah, you were. Your calling your own girlfriend a bitch. If you were her, how would you feel?" Matt says, sticking up for you.
"I dunno know, I wouldn't just leave like that though." He says, throwing his hands in the air.
"How 'bout you go out and take a breather, then come back, hm?" Matt suggests.
"Fine, I need to clear my head anyway." Chris says with a groan, and walks out the door, slamming it.
time skip
Your POV
It had been a few days since you two have broken up, and your friends, Tara and Jake, have helped you get over it. Well, tried to help you get over it. The truth was, you couldn't. Right now you were at La La Land getting coffee with them, and you were sipping on your drink. Tara and Jake went to go get their drinks, and you were sitting by yourself. Tara and Jake got their drinks and came to sit with you.
"So.. you okay girl?" Tara asks, taking a sip of her Strawberry Fields.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just another toxic guy. I've gotten over one of those before." You say, referring to your ex.
"Men these days." Tara says rolling her eyes.
"Hey, I'm right here ya know." Jake says, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, you especially." Tara says looking at him.
"Shut your bitchass-" Jake cuts himself off with a giggle, and tara laughs her usual laugh. You giggle along with them.
After the laughter dies down, Jake speaks up again.
"So, y/n, I'm having a party this weekend. Wanna come?" Jake asks you.
"Um.. I'll think about it." You tell him.
"Girl you should come, maybe you'll find someone new." Jake says, taking a sip of his drink.
" Yeah, it'll help you get over Chris." Tara joins in.
"Um.. yeah, I'll come." You give them a smile.
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🏷️: @slutf4rmatt @brookheartsmatt @strnilolover @charlottee3
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ninupi · 2 days ago
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Hello I have a request! Could you write a scenario where either Kakucho or Draken (you can write for both or do one or the other I don't mind) have a crush on reader(they're friends though but they haven't confessed) however there's someone else who also likes reader and asks them to help them get together with reader🥸How would they react? And what would they do? I hope that makes sense 😅
Thank you 😊
Jealous | k. draken & kakucho (separately)
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₊˚⊹♡ tags; fem!reader, both of these are in a good timeline where everyone look gets along, mention of reader looking up at draken, everyone lowk making fun of sanzu in drakens lol, ran being canonically blind but refusing to wear glasses is so funny to me LMFAOO, kakucho being a liar boy
₊˚⊹♡ wc; 830 (draken) 331 (kakucho)
₊˚⊹♡ a/n; ahh im so happy I finally found time to write this, I literally couldn't stop thinking about it when I first saw it lol
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k. draken
Draken was intensely watching the TV from the couch while Mikey and Mitsuya were competing in mortal combat on the TV. Most of the guys were over at Mikey's house right now taking turns playing the new game. 
"I'm going to kick your ass Mitsuya..." Mikey warned after receiving a combo almost ending his character's life "You said that the last two rounds, maybe you should focus on fighting!" Mitsuya laughed nudging Mikey with his elbow trying to distract him. 
"You seriously suck at this Mikey!" Smiley laughs angering the blonde even more "Next round, you and me asshole!" Mikey yells pointing at Smiley after Mitsuya's character brutally rips Mikey's apart. "Ok let's go, this is gonna be a piece of cake" he smiles while switching places with mitsuya to sit on the floor. 
While the two of them argued about who they wanted to play Draken heard the front door open "I'm home! And I brought y/n so don't be weird!" Draken perked up once he heard Emma mention your name, you two had become friends earlier this year at school and Emma's been bringing you around a lot more. 
"Ok, so no one cares that I'm home?" Emma asks walking into the living room while y/n is behind her "No, not really" Mikey answers locking his character in "Oh screw you Mikey, I hope you lose!" she yells throwing a couch pillow at the back of his head.
"Hi y/n! How are you?" Draken can't help the way his face contorts in disgust at Sanzu's tone of voice "Hi Haru, I'm fine. Are you playing too?" Haru? Draken didn't know that the two of you were so close "Yeah, I played against Baji earlier and won" he bragged causing Baji to yell at him. 
"Are you not going to say hi to me Draken?" you question softly kicking his leg, he can feel the back of his neck getwarm. "Hey" He knows he probably seems like an asshole he just gets so nervous every time he talks to you. But when he sees you smile at him he knows you don't mind his cold demeanor. 
"Come on y/n, let's go!" Emma grumbles grabbing your hand and leading you toward her room "Bye y/n!" Sanzu calls out waving to you "Bye Haru! Bye Draken!" you smile waving at the two of them. Draken gives Sanzu a certain look when he hears Baji speak up. 
"You're so embarrassing man..." he sighs and Draken looks at Baji who's nodding towards Sanzu "Huh? What do you mean?" Sanzu questions offended "When are you going to tell her you like her? I'm sure she knows but it's best to get rejected now" Smiley laughs starting up his round with Mikey. 
"What are you guys talking about? I don't like y/n..." Draken turns to give Sanzu giving him an unimpressed look while everyone else turns to look at him including Smiley who paused the game to do so, much to Mikey's dismay. "NO!" he screamed out at the paused screen displaying how he was about to hit a combo on Smiley's character. 
"Do you think we're dumb?" Mitsuya genuinely questions fully turning to face Sanzu "Hi y/n! I love you y/n! Can I lick your shoes y/n!" smiley mocks Sanzu causing the guys to all laugh except Sanzu who starts protesting in embarrassment "I don't sound like that, and be quiet what if she hears you!" he hisses looking in the direction of Emma's room where the two of you were. 
"Her room is on the other side of the house, they can't hear anything" Mikey explains while fidgeting with the controller in his hands "Whatever man just ask her out already she might say yes, who knows" Smiley shrugs turning back to the tvand unpausing the game.
"Can you help me ask her out?" Draken can't even hide the way his face contorts in disgust before facing Sanzu "What?" he asks even though he heard him the first time "Can you help me ask y/n out?" Sanzu asks again a bit more harshly this time "No, do it yourself" Draken snaps feeling a bit annoyed about Sanzu's presence now. 
He feels Sanzu slump into the couch next to him when he gets up saying he needs a drink when the others ask him where he's going "Get me a soda!" Mikey calls out before losing to Smiley, again. When Draken walks into the kitchen he sees you sitting there almost like you were waiting for him. 
"Hey..." he mutters walking to the fridge "I heard you guys," you say without much emotion "Oh" Draken just continues to stare at the inside of the fridge not really caring about a drink anymore "I don't really like Haru like that you know..." you sigh leaning against the counter next to the fridge. 
Draken can feel a weight lift off of his shoulders "Oh really?" he questions standing up a bit straighter while closing the fridge, without grabbing a drink. "Yeah I kinda like someone else...someone a bit taller." you smile looking up at him. "That's nice to know" he smiles giving you his full attention now. 
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kakucho
Kakucho really liked ran haitani, but right now he really wanted to punch his teeth in. "I'm real sorry about that sweetheart, are you alright?" Kakucho watched ran held your arm softly with a clenched jaw as he approached the two of you "Yeah I'm fine, don't worry about it" you smiled up at him.
"Hey, what happened?" Kakucho questioned walking up behind you softly pulling you out of rans hold. "Oh nothing, we just bumped into each other" you explain with a soft laugh while ran moved a bit closer to Kakucho squinting at him. 
"You should wear your glasses, then you'd see where you're going" Kakucho muttered pushing Ran's face away roughly "Come on my eyesight ain't that bad" he laughed standing straight realizing it was Kakucho who joined the conversation. 
"It actually really is, you need glasses" Kakucho sighs wondering how Ran's gotten this far in life being so blind "Oh yeah you should probably get glasses if it's that bad! But I have to go, I'll see you later kakucho?" you question looking at him with hopeful eyes. 
"Yeah, I'll come pick you up" he smiles nudging you with his elbow "Ok great, I'll see you later, bye guys!" you call out, running towards your class "You gotta set me up with her Kakucho" ran immediately says once you're out of earshot, nudging him with his elbow.
  "Yeah, not happening man," Kakucho says walking away from the taller boy "What? Why not? C'mon, help me out man" Ran sighed throwing an arm over the younger boy's shoulder "I'm not gonna help you ask out my girlfriend."
Kakucho is forced to stop when ran stops walking looking at him slightly shocked "Oh man I'm sorry, I didn't know you two were dating…that's my bad" Kakucho refused to look at ran knowing he was lying straight to his face. Ran didn't need to know that right now though, "It's fine, but yeah I'm not setting you up with her."
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malk1ns · 3 days ago
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november 19 vs lightning, 3-2 OT loss
sidney's milestone yips return 🙄
this series is now on ao3! i'll be adding games in chunks from now on :)
Sanja never believes Zhenya when Zhenya says he doesn’t really get angry with Sid.
Oh, they bicker, of course—you can’t spend practically 24 hours a day with someone for nine months out of the year without small irritations flaring up. One of them will be overtired and crabby, or they’ll disagree about where to go for dinner near the end of a long roadie…stuff like that.
But major arguments, flaring tempers and angry, icy silences? They don’t do that. It’s something Zhenya’s always been smug about.
There is, of course, an exception.
Having a front-row seat to Sid’s career has been a privilege and an honor. Zhenya doesn’t regret a single decision that’s kept him at Sid’s side since 2006; even taking their relationship out of it, because it’s not like they’d break up just because they temporarily lived apart, getting to watch someone live up to the type of potential Sid has and work his way into the record books is not something Zhenya would give up willingly.
The time those records take, though.
Sid overthinks every aspect of his play when he’s getting close to some sort of milestone. He handles the puck like he’s never seen one before, passing when he should shoot and hesitating when he should pass until the lane disappears. He retreats into his routine with a rigidity that he’s mostly shed as he’s gotten older, and he gets snappy with anyone who dares to so much as hint around the concept of a milestone.
It was funny at first. And then Sid entered top-ten categories, leapfrogging over the types of players that most guys won’t come near to matching ever, and the milestones started coming faster and faster, and Sid took longer and longer to actually achieve them.
The goalless drought before 500 had been comical, and ultimately happened in the type of storybook ‘how is this real’ fashion that only Sidney Crosby is capable of and made the wait worth it. Six hundred, though?
“Next time,” Zhenya fumes, slamming the pantry shut perhaps a bit harder than he means to, “you shoot on power play, like, not pass right back to me, I’m get yelled at during break!” He brandishes the bag of trail mix at Sid before ripping it open and cramming a handful into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open just because he knows it pisses Sid off.
“Oh, fuck you,” Sid scoffs, glaring at him so hard that if Zhenya were even slightly less ticked would have him cowering and apologizing. “You passed up plenty of your own fucking chances, eh, how about you get a goal one of these games!”
Zhenya throws his hands up, scattering trail mix across the kitchen island. “I’m not hold whole team up while I pick around on ice, forget how to play hockey, like, need extra-special time for score big goal!” he practically shouts. “Everyone tries to help, like, gets you puck, sets you up, and you’re not shoot. Have to score and move on so we’re play games for real, Sidney, not think about stupid records!”
“You think I want this?” Sid hisses, sweeping some of the spilled M&Ms into his hand and throwing them into the sink so hard a few of them bounce right back out. “All I want—all I’ve ever asked for, every single time this happens, is for people to play.like.normal! I can’t focus when everyone’s watching me, I can’t see the net, I can’t get my grip right…” He tugs at his hair, a nervous habit that Zhenya used to warn would make him go bald until Zhenya’s own hairline started to recede and Sid’s stayed stubbornly put.
Zhenya opens his mouth to snap back, but Sid’s face is twisted in genuine upset, so he takes a deep breath and forces himself to calm down.
Sid needs to get out of his head. Sid needs a distraction. Zhenya’s always been good at that.
“You’re think grip is bad?” he asks, smiling beatifically at Sid when Sid looks at him suspiciously at his abrupt change in tone. “Seems fine this morning, like, tight but not too tight, you know? You’re want to go upstairs and check, practice some more? I’m tell you if it’s good.”
Sid’s expression flickers from suspicion to confusion to disgust to…intrigued. Zhenya mentally high-fives himself. Time to seal the deal.
“And then maybe,” Zhenya purrs, circling the island and crowding close to Sid, “you’re help me get it in goal, like, I need practice too, you know?”
Sid smacks at his arm, but he’s laughing as he abandons his attempt to clean up and drags Zhenya upstairs.
They forget to set an alarm and get yelled at when they skid in late to video review the next morning. Sid’s smiling again, though, and Zhenya would bag-skate himself for a full 60 minutes to make that happen.
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loveaurapearl · 21 hours ago
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Wild Life Mechanics
Hey guys, I was thinking about the Mechanics of Wild Life and the theory that the previous winners create the next game. The first thing I want to say is that while Cleo is a winner and we should respect the queen, it's clear that Wild Life wasn't created by her. While she is chaotic and loves to burn things, Wild Life is not a game she would make. She's pretty level-headed and only burns people's bases if they make her mad. She would not choose the next game to have random effects each session. Scar, on the other hand, is completely crazy and would have the games be so chaotic. Sure, Grian and the other Watchers are the ones who decide the game and how it functions, its clear that the winner has some input on how the game is created. Scar even mentioned in his first episode that he and others suggested ideas to implement into the game. He just wasn't sure if Grian put those ideas into use. It's just funny that the mechanics that Grian decided to use directly relate to Scar and the struggles he goes through. And I will be analyzing each Wild Card that we know of for now. (This will be outdated tomorrow since a new episode will come out. But I don't want the idea to disappear from my head, so I'm writing this now.)
The first session had the Shrink and Grow Wildcard and it relates to Scar's sensation of scale. While Scar is 6 ft tall and has known the feeling of being tall, for most of his time, he's in a wheelchair at around 4 ft tall and thus, he is also small. We saw that immediately with small Scar during Real life. Scar is both a tall man, and also small, just like session one's Wildcard where you can be both big or small. And for most of Scar's session, he tries to be in the middle. Just be his regular, Minecraft self, since he doesn't want to be reminded of relatity.
The second session was about having your food randomized and having to eat things like dirt and rocks. This relates to the fact that... well... Scar can't eat like a normal person anymore. Scar can only 'eat' through a tube and has to constantly make sure the food is mush. He also fantasizes about eating people. c!Scar is a cannibal and so when the watchers changed what he and the other lifers could eat, his brain couldn't handle that truth and just assumed they just couldn't eat. It was only thanks to Grian that he and his team managed to survive.
The third session was the snail and it was pretty simple what was happening. Scar had been tormented by the Snails in Hermitcraft and now they transferred over to the life series. The watchers made them into one-shotters because it would hurt Scar more since he's already not great at staying alive.
The fourth Session relates to the fact that Scar is pretty slow when making videos because of his illness. Scar starts off slow, but once he gets going, it's hard for him to stop. He mentioned tons of times that he tends to forget how long he should be on the computer and thus ends up being on a project for hours. Usually ending some episodes while it's like 1 in the morning for him.
And finally, session 5's gimmick was the Quizmaster, which relates to the fact that Scar is constantly reminiscing on the past. Mostly third life, double life, limited life, and secret life. Scar has been haunting people's posts and remembering the past. He got a good chunk of questions right. It was only the Last Life questions he didn't know completely since he was so sick during Last Life that he had to miss a session because of his real-world illness. Like he knew the horn Jimmy used in Double Life, but he couldn't remember the name because he's bad at remembering names.
Now, none of these gimmicks were meant to relate to Scar. After all, Grian created all the gimmicks. Its just funny how all of these gimmicks able to be connected to Scar. Grian truly is Scar's soulmate. Also, the fact that yellow and red names can kill dark green lives to get health back and has been compared to cannibalism is funny because I can connect this to Scar since c!Scar is a cannibal. He would totally implement the idea of adding some kind of cannibalism into the games. It is my headcannon that Scar was the one who had the random lives and life trade mechanic in Last Life while Grian put in the Boogeyman mechanic since Grian AND Scar both won Third Life. It's just a shame most people, including Scar, don't remember that Third Life was a double victory. So yeah. Scar is the only winner who won two games. Scott doesn't count because he didn't win Double life. He gave up the game to Pearl and she is the sole winner of Double life while Scott got second. Just wanted put idea up.
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karvakera · 29 days ago
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blehhh sillae
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heartorbit · 23 days ago
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇
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puppet-purgatory · 8 months ago
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so let me get this straight, watcher:
An unknown party is planting VHS tapes on your own set weekly, containing ad reads by:
a self-proclaimed professor
who mentions unfortunate encounters with horses
who has an 'estranged wife'
whose jacket is tan and tie and red
who is a 'gamer'
whose image flickered in like a hologram in an earlier ad read,
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and you want us to just like, not think Something Smells Fishy. OK...
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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dont-offend-the-bees · 3 months ago
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Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
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moeblob · 1 year ago
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Demyx (my beloved)
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coloredcompulsion · 1 year ago
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My dad rewatching the FNaF movie with me: So that guy's the killer right?
Me: Yes! I'm kind of disappointed he's no longer British
My dad: He's no longer What
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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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for-the-sake-of-color · 10 months ago
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LAAt Pilot Howler and former Construct Detritus, who would really prefer if he would stop getting them shot out of the skies
"As if it is my fault we have to fly directly into artillery fire!" Howler would reply Wooo I love this peace and these two who managed to find their way to eachother in a universe that has predestined them to die in the name of others since the dawn of their creation. They refuse to be the shadows of others they were always meant to be, and will instead forge their own path forwards as individuals, as people, with their own hopes and dreams and ambitions. And they're going to do it together.
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triglycercule · 29 days ago
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horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")
and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀
#horror it's all your fault you played with fire and now you are not about to get burned you are about to DIE#oh its probably so nervewracking....... he legit could die horror doesnt know if the other two would take mercy on him#he's been an ass all this time ‼️ he has been manipulative and lied ‼️ he has shittalked them at their lowest ‼️ he is FUCKED#or WORSE they just end up dragging this out and driving him crazy with paranoia (this is in fact what would happen)#not that he particularly regrets not being nice to killer and dust because why should he and why do they deserve it but like. GODAAMN IT#couldnt it HURT just to be a LITTLE nicer past horror???? now youre gonna DIE because you were too much of an asshole!!!!!!! fuck#but maybe he doesn't die? maybe he actually lives when the two find him and eventually#would that be worse actually yes in fact it would. if he wants anyone to find out he's actually immortal it would NOT be dust and killer#death seems much more inviting than being hunted down by those two. oh SHIT REAPER WAIT DONT TOUCH HIN#if killer and dust worked together they could probably create a torture situation that not even a tank personified would mentally survive#this seems like another one of my ideas in my head that seems bright and comedic but in reality would just be terrifying#i like it piccasso. now just set it in horrortale and then you have horror in the place of all the people he killed#all the people he hunted down all the innocents and now he gets to feel what they felt when he chased them down#the fear and nervousness of being watched of being toyed with of knowing that youre already stuck in a maze with no exit and no way back#yeah i'd kill myself the psychological horror i'd feel would just be too much dust and killer can just kill me for all i care I GIVE UP#wouldnt it be funny if dust and killer never even touch horror they just chase him until he passes out#that would be sooooo silly LMAO. bitchass we didnt even touch you and you passed out from panic and exhaustion??? COWARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣#dust and killer would never let that memory be forgotten trust. trust. i love it when they taunt and torture eachother#GOD can we get some self not so self inflicted pain onto these 3 😒😒😒 more than they already have but whatever#dont worry guys they took horror home after he passed out and when he woke up fed him a bit of soup to replenish his energy#and then they played a roblox obby to calm down and also relax and then they fell asleep all zzzrkkk mimimimi shoooo like 3 little kitties#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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bunnyboy-juice · 1 month ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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