#he is amused …
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Lord Shadow,
Sir Tails Creamcicle,
and Princess Sonic?
What is going through your head, dear anon?
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
The sillies
When even Athena the Virgin goddess whose most intimate encounter was stabbing her bff thinks you’re cooked, you’re definitely cooked
#Odysseus (virgin) asking Athena (virgin goddess) for romantic advice is so funny to me#like it’s literally the blind leading the blind#I like to think even after days of strategizing with Athena ody still has 0 rizz#yes he’s trained in tactical seduction and yapping but up against someone he actually likes?#Penelope is just amused and charmed by his rizzlessness#0 rizz#epic the musical#epic odysseus#epic athena#epic penelope#odypen#fanart#xria art
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
i couldn’t not draw this
based off of this:
#im deeply amused by how utterly disgruntled he looks#he’s so tired. he’s so. so tired#tma#the magnus archives#tma fanart#jonathan sims#jaspers art
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
the pullerrrrr
#he REALLY likes it when I do this#my dad taught me how he would pet dogs by starting at the eyebrows and pulling gently#he tried it on my grandmas dog and his eyes were so BIG#I’ve tried it on Swiper a couple times and I can hear him purr whenever I do it which is extremely amusing to me#get scrunched idiot#doodles#my art#swiperposting#Swiper#cats#diary
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Teacher: Class, we have a new student joining us today. Danny, could you tell us a little about yourself? Danny, standing up: Ugh, okay. My name is Danny Fenton. I'm from Amity Park, Illinois. I moved to Gotham with my siblings. Teacher: That's lovely, Danny. Do you have any hobbies? Danny: I like to stargaze, but it's tricky here in Gotham to see them. Teacher waiting for more: *Stare* Classroom: *stare* Danny panics as the class stares at him. I also really liked helping Dan with his experiments. Teacher: Who's Dan? Danny: He's my eldest brother. He got a job at Wayne Labs three months ago, so we moved. Classmate: What kind of experiments do you guys do? Danny: Dan's a chemist. He likes to create antidotes to various poisons or toxic substances. Last month, he made the new Anti-Fear Gass Antidote! Classmate: *scoff* Yeah, right, and I'm the tooth fairy Classroom: *laughs* Teacher: Alright, everyone, settle down. Danny, welcome to Gotham, but you should be careful with your fibs. They can be dangerous in this city. Danny: I'm not lying. Teacher: Of course not. Everyone turn to pages three and twelve in your math textbooks- Danny, please sit down. Danny: *sits* It wasn't a lie Damian: I believe you. Danny: Really? Damian: Yes, my Father signs Dan Fenton's paychecks. Danny: Oh, does he work at Wayne Labs, too? Damian: .....In a way. Would you happen to know who I am? Danny: Damian Al Ghul. I heard you tell the teacher you prefer that name. Damian: .....Yes. Your pronunciation of my last is perfect. Most people claim it's too hard. Danny shrugs: If I can learn to pronounce Obi-Wan Kenobi, I can learn how to say your last name. Most people are just rude. Damian, under his breath: Is this the rush Mother felt when she found her Beloved? Danny: What? I'm sorry I didn't catch that Damian: Do not worry about it. Merely know that you belong to me now Danny: Like a friend? Damian:.....In a way. Danny: Cool :D
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#from a fic i never wrote#The Fenton sibling move to gotham#Or more like got flung from their home dimension#Dan is twenty five and became thier legal guardian#Danny is fourteen#Jazz is sixteen#Dani is tweleve#Dead Serious#He does not know Damian is a Wayne#Damian went “You amuse me. I will make you mine”#And Danny went “Like a boyfrend or like a slave?”“
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
John Cusack, the voice actor for Dimitri in Anatasia (1997), shared his statement on Palestine 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸
P.S. He has been a Palestinian supporter for years
#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#west bank#free west bank#“if you're there - what choice do you have?”#john cusack#anastasia 1997#israel#israel occupation#israel apartheid#anastasia#update to tags: yes i know he didnt just do anastasia but thats the one that stood out to me i love anastasia#the way everyone is like ok this is super serious topic but ANASTASIA??? is so amusing to me pls keep them coming#also please continue sharing about palestine!!!! FREE PALESTINE
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
(any time after the events of the vengeance saga & ithaca saga)
*under the ocean in poseidon's palace*
poseidon: *talking with amphitrite*
poseidon: i wouldn't wish that upon my worse enemy!
poseidon: *pauses and feels phantom pains from his old impalement wounds/scars*
poseidon: *eye twitching* ...unless of course...we're talking about my enemy, odysseus.
poseidon: *looking up at the ocean's surface from his underwater palace*
poseidon: fuck you odysseus, you know what you did!
amphitrite: ...
amphitrite: *sighs*
*meanwhile on ithaca*
odysseus: *yapping away with penelope whilst on a walk through the palace grounds*
odysseus: so then i said "cause i don't even have to kill you, i just have to avoid yo-"
odysseus: *violently sneezes*
penelope: ...
penelope: are you feeling unwell, my love?
odysseus: no i'm fine.
odysseus: i just get the feeling im being bad-mouthed...again
odysseus: *turns head and glares at the ocean*
#amphitrite is over her husband and his feud with the mortal odysseus#poseidon somehow brings him up in every conversation#meanwhile odysseus is always being interrupted while yapping with sneezes#he just wants to tell his wife about everything he got up to!#penelope is just amused by it#and loves her husband's yapping#(especially the violent & bloody parts)#WHO SAID THAT#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#odysseus#epic the musical spoilers#amphitrite#penelope epic the musical#poseidon
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Justice League was too late. The cult had successfully completed their summoning ritual, and a figure began to emerge from the crackling green rift in the air
A teenage boy in a black jumpsuit, holding a clipboard and a pen.
The figure barely seemed to pay attention and just launched into a rehearsed speech, tone bored. “Thank you for summoning the Ghost King. Due the influx of summonings, he is unavailable at the moment. I’m Phantom, and I’ll be serving as your intercessor for the time being. I am authorized to act on His Majesty’s behalf, but any larger scale actions may have a short wait time before they can go through—just a few decades at most.” His voice then picked up, tone casual. “So… whatcha looking for?”
Then he did a double take, the chaotic scene he’s appeared in finally seeming to register in his mind.
“…Err, which ones of y’all specifically performed the summoning? I need it for the file.”
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danny is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#danny phantom x dc crossover#who’s the actual king? idk. maybe a reformed Pariah Dark or maybe someone else#dpxdc summoning prompt#summoned danny phantom#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc prompt#this is specifically NOT danny as the king doing a bit#he could still be playing it up for his amusement. but he’s being truthful about not being the king
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
#he's matching her freak %100 sorry for his dislikers#legit bro endured the unspeakable to save his wife it was so amusing to watch ngl#thomas hutter no.1 lover boy you will always be famous#nosferatu#robert eggers#thomas hutter#nosferatu text post
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
just saw on the hbomb subreddit that james somerton briefly reactivated his twitter and changed the name to agayraconteur, then 8 hrs later deleted it again because people were noticing, so. everyone who went all in on "he'll keep popping up again and again in new forms" cash your bets in now LMAO
edit: hey yall this post is very out of date but has been getting spikes of notes since the second apology video so i'm gonna be marking it unrebloggable
#james somerton#google tells me a raconteur in someone who tells anecdotes in a skillful and amusing way#which uh. wrong on literally all 3 counts#or well i guess google doesnt specify that it has to be your own anecdotes so i guess he gets one out of three on a technicality#bigger gibbers
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just a young, talented Watcher meeting a friendly little wisp.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#da manfred#if you know you know ahah#my art#I say young but he’s already an adult here pffft#starting to salt and pepper#just the idea of Manfred’s wisp following him around#when he isn’t around Johanna cos she’s off doing her own work#Emmrich being so amused to have this one wisp follow him literally everywhere in the necropolis#having to explain to Manfred things while he’s in class#teacher telling him not to attract the wisps into the classroom#so many ideas#all super adorable tbh#ahhhh I love them so much
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lena losing her patience and furiously berating Gwen for potentially endangering the staff members of the OAIR is quite literally the opposite of how Elias ran the Archives.
Elias used the Archival staff—as well as his Archivist—as pawns that can be readily replaced as needed. His patron offered them minimal protections at best (the Archivist’s privileges notwithstanding), and even then, he would never actually intervene to save any of them if they were in danger, much less take precautions to protect them at their headquarters. They are used as bait, as sacrifices, as currency, as objects. The listener knows, eventually, how easily he could discard them if his plans called for it.
But Lena. This episode showed us that Lena keeps her entire organization running through keeping her subordinates hidden, safe, and unnoticed by the Externals. It’s quite clear through her conversation with Gwen that such a safety risk has never happened before.
As far as we know, Lena has successfully kept all of her employees alive, watched them come and go, bemoaned the turnover rate, and then got them to look the other way while they documented and dutifully filed the horrors.
But most impressive of all, she’s kept her real work hidden from her subordinates, and her subordinates hidden from her real work—a feat Elias had no interest or desire to accomplish.
#elias enjoyed the cat-and-mouse game of playing with his staff’s knowledge of the fears (or lack thereof)#but them figuring it out was a natural process to him. one that he found very amusing#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#tma#gwendolyn bouchard#lena kelley#elias bouchard#oiar#the archivist#the eye#the magnus protocol spoilers#tmagp 16#anti social#ink5oul#jonathan sims#neo queen serenity’s posts#tmagp meta
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Shadow Milk and his room full of yaoi
#cookie run#cookierun oc#burning spice cookie#shadow milk cookie#its not his its from his students#but he finds it amusing
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Gotham's newest Crime Lord - Part 1
Prompt: Dan kills the joker and unintentionally becomes a crime lord
Dan didn't mean to become a Crime Lord. It wasn't his fault that the Joker was fragile and easily killable with one punch to the head. He didn't know that the seemingly immortal clown was easily killed once the impact practically snapped his neck. So yes, Dan didn't mean for this shit to happen. Not when all he wanted to do was go to college, make sure Danny and Elle weren't attracting trouble back in Gotham academy.
It wasn't his fault that the crazy bastard thought it was a good idea to nab his siblings and try to use them for ransom. It's not his fault that his first instinct was to introduce his first to that pennywise knock-off. It'd not his fault that this city was haunted by vengeful ghosts that wanted to tear that motherfucker to shreds.
They were supposed to lay low after the mess with their parents and their name changes.
But nooooo!
They had to have an absolute hatred for clowns and now he's somehow made himself a crime lord. Why the fuck were the Joker's goons so fucking stupid?! They either tried to kill Dan for killing their boss or they tried to fall under him and make him their new leader. It was like a fucking cult in his eyes. Seriously, what the absolute fuck was going on with this shitty city?
It's not like he could call Jazz and say "Hi sis! I killed a crazy clown and I'm now the boss of his weird goons. I also might end up on the local vigilante's hitlist."
Yeah, no. He's not doing that.
But this might not be so bad... Not really. Being their boss could be treated as a source of income if he utilized the Joker's shit properly. I mean, he couldn't always rely on the fruitloops money, not when Vlad could turn traitor and use the money against them. He needed to find a way to support his siblings, one way or another.
And Clockwork did say to get a hobby. If not mass genocide then he could resort to carefully planned crime. Yes. This could work. He'll make it fucking work for the sake of his siblings.
Besides, if he was a crime lord—in motherfucking Gotham—he doubts that the GIW will even try to fuck around in a city where a ghost controlled some part of the criminal underworld.
Oh... Oh, he was gonna fucking do this.
(Clockwork watched as his most troublesome child shifts from world ender to crime lord. At least it was an upgrade from mass genocide.)
Nightwing didn't particularly know what to make of this mess. There were rumors of a new crime lord, of a new rogue.
One day, Joker's body was dropped into the harbor and found by the workers, all confused and scared as to why the Clown Prince of crime was dead in the water. It was humiliating in the Joker's standards, to be discarded like trash into the sea rather than have his body displayed for everyone to gawk at. The clown would have adored being glorified but whoever the hell killed him knew this and fucked the guy up bad.
His head snapped and his corpse tossed out like leftovers.
Jason had laughed, outright celebrated and Crime Alley was as festive as it ever was with the Red Hood blasting music through the streets and partying like there was no tomorrow. All of Gotham was celebrating, parading through the streets with pinatas that looked like the Joker. Harley would drop down from whatever roof she was on and swing her bat at the pinata, spilling red candy as everyone cheered and laughed. It was morbidly glorious.
But the festivities didn't erase the fact that someone had killed the Joker and knew what to do to disrespect him in the worst ways possible. It wasn't long until Joker's old lackeys were rallying to someone—a new boss. It wasn't odd for goons without bosses to move on to find different jobs, but for all of Joker's old minions to work for the same person? This was definitely the guy who killed the Joker.
No name, no appearance, nothing. Just quiet activity with organising his new goons to do strange errands. Stuff that didn't point them in the direction of criminal activity.
"You got anything?" Dick murmurs as Tim slouches over the batcomputer, watching as his younger brother sneered at the screen.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He snaps, "All footage of this new rogue is immediately corrupted."
Babs hums, "And it's not like it's altered after it's been taken. The distortion happens live. They either have some tech on them or they're a meta who can avoid cameras." She adds, taking a leisure sip of the tea Alfred kindly offered them. "Whoever this is doesn't leave a trace aside from this shitty footage."
Tim groans, "I officially hate this guy!" He almost tosses his mug out of anger, shaking his head.
"Does Jason have any info on this one?"
And like the fucking menace he was, Jason pops up without another word. "He goes by Wraith." No one was startled, just sparing him a glance before nodding.
"That's it?"
"The goonions adore him." Jason shrugs, "Guy's been quick. Dealing with shit like Black Mask and other trafficking operations. Some of the kids he's saved wear clothes that have this specific symbol on them. It's a good tactic mind you. Tells people to fuck off and don't come anywhere near the kid or else he'll sic whatever bullshit he has in someone."
Dick narrowed his eyes, "Is it effective?"
"Hell yeah! One of the kids got kidnapped just last week. I went to save the poor thing but he walked out of that warehouse while the kidnappers were bleeding and sobbing." Jason once again grins, "Little Tommy threatened me if I try to arrest Wraith."
"So more anti-heri than villain. Good enough, at least." Dick sighed, shaking his head as he narrowed his eyes on the screen. More distorted footage.
"Thanks for the info, little wing."
"Just updatin' you guys. Heard some rumors that Harley's on the hunt for Wraith to thank him."
Great...
It's been a solid two months since the death of the Joker. Batman and the rest of his birds were increasingly wary of the Wraith and his two new associates that went by Phantom and Specter. No footage on the three could ever be recovered, making them all assume this was the work of a meta.
Most of them weren't sure if this guy was a threat or not. Red Hood, on the other hand, had a fairly positive opinion on the guy who's been hanging traffickers by their legs and immediately staking their claim on the kid to keep them safe.
The new crime lord was slowly dismantling the criminal underworld and building it back up to their design.
"FUCKING HELL!" Dick glared at the screen again, "That's Wraith's doing, isn't it? No way did the Riddler blow up that building."
"Wraith's only been dealing with traffickers so far. Why would he do this?" Steph murmurs, staring at the recording of a building that had suddenly went off. Numerous were dead, some barely survived.
"That's the motherfucker's symbol." Dick pointed to the glowing green symbol that looked liked a fire with some obscure letter they couldn't really make out. (Was it a D or a P?)
"Okay... Why would Wraith blow up a building and kill everyone?" Jason immediately asked, seeming to be defensive of the man. "He doesn't just kill people, Dick."
"Even so..." Bruce grunts, clearly displeased with the bloodshed. All that death...
"We're going after him." Bruce announced, "I'm not putting of the Wraith investigation anymore."
Dan stared at the pictures of the bodies, pudding out smoke without a cigarette in sight. His new minions—they preferred the term goons—were clearly apprehensive and continued to observe their new boss's expressions. This explosion had been his first act of pure and utter violence, a massacre of sorts.
He glances at Danny who melted out of the shadows, startling his goons.
"Can't say I'm not upset but I get why you did that shit." He begrudgingly admits, sitting across Dan. Phantom was a reluctant associate to his new organization of crime—ish.
"They weren't just trafficking kids, squirt. Pimping them, killing them and selling their organs, hosting matches and making meta kids fight to the fucking death." Dan clicked his tongue, "No redemption in that, Phantom."
"I get it, alright!" Danny snapped, "But the you've gotten the direct attention of the Bats now. They're gonna come for us, Wraith."
"Boss?" One of the goons—Dan remembers him as Jeremy Nelson. One guy just trying to support himself and his kid, trying to keep his sweet little daughter in school with as much money as he could get. Dan remembers giving the man a raise and a jacket with their family's symbol stitched into it—one for little Marigold.
"I'll deal with it. For now, you guys spread the word on that shit. I don't want anyone thinking I killed a bunch of kids." Dan growled, "My reputation can burn for all care, but like hell am I letting people think I hurt kids."
With Jeremy leading the other goons, he nodded and hurried out of the office to spread a word. The former Joker goons had taken a liking to their new boss, preferring his ways rather than their dead one.
"Jazz won't like this, y'know." Danny sighs, "I'm not gonna tell her. Never. But she'll find out, one way or another."
Dan frowns, "You think I don't know? It's Jazz, Danny."
"Yeah, yeah. I just didn't expect you to be like this. Crime Lord and everything."
Dan snorts, "I was the world ender, brat. This is mild compared to what I've done."
"Yeah, sure."
He shook his head, "You've got your own problems, brat. The Observants are still fussin' about you being king, your majesty."
An identical scowl looks back at Dan, and he's reminded that this kid is him. An alternate version of himself and yet they were brothers now. "I know. You killing the Joker fucked some stuff up. Apparently, the motherfucker was cursed to hell."
"Meaning?"
"He's got a lifetime of people in his shadow. Vengefu souls that want him dead." Danny huffs, "Had to deal with the paperwork cause everyone's wantin' a taste of him. I'm workin' on letting Walker release him so his victims can execute his soul."
"Cruel, little king."
"I'll give you his file. Bastard deserves to have his soul destroyed." Danny viciously grins. And once again, best reminded that this twerp is him. They were one and the same, different as well.
"Alright, alright. Fuck off now. We've still got some bats and birds to deal with." Dan immediately showed him away, noting Danny's eye roll.
"Better prepare a birdcage then."
Part 2 | Masterlist
#danny phantom#dpxdc#batfam#dc x dp#danny fenton#nightwing#dick grayson#dan phantom#dark danny#batman#Gotham's newest Crime Lord#part 1#Dan accidentally killing the Joker but immed deciding to take his place#Dick is very confused as to whether he should be okay with him or nor#Jason is just having the time of his life with the new crime lord#Danny is both stressed and amused at his brother's bullshit#both of them are trying to keep this a secret from Jazz cause they know they'll be yelled at#Wanted this to be dead on main and Dan x Nightwing#WHAT'S THEIR SHIPNAME???#Someone called them Bad Humor
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
1/4
Dcxdp Tropes twist
Danny hadn’t planned to be pregnant at 15, but when it came down to it, it was the only option to save Ellie. Also, apparently being a pregnant ghost means all of his usual enemies were now babying him to the extreme. It also meant that when he thoughtlessly mentioned how his favorite hero was Martian Manhunter, his ghost friends decided to kidnap Martian Manhunter straight from the watchtower, and bring him to Danny.
Meanwhile, the watchtower is in chaos after Martian Manhunter was kidnapped by beings claiming to be sent by the ghost king to retrieve him.
#funny#misunderstanding#dc x dp#dcxdp#no one knows what’s going on#pregnant danny#the ghosts just want to help#they don’t realize how much chaos is caused#Martian Manhunter was originally concerned#now he’s just amused#Danny is so embarrassed
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Damian Wayne vs the World
Sixteen year old Damian Wayne is on the hunt for a younger sibling. Being more discerning than Bruce 'child collector' Wayne, Damian's firm criteria for Batman's latest adoption problem includes but is not limited to: black haired, blue-eyed, tolerable humor, not evil, and most importantly - younger than Damian.
Lucky for him, fourteen year old newbie vigilante Danny Fenton is the perfect fit. Now, to fulfill his end of their deal, Damian must defeat the evil government organization hunting Danny in order to gain a baby brother.
Or, @livinghalfway your post made my brain go !! but in such a different way I figured it was better to make a separate post, hope you don't mind/enjoy still
~~
Damian Wayne re-entered Tim Drake's life like a gnat revealing itself in a closed bedroom space. Tim was in t-shirt and a boxers, maneuvering ramen into his mouth with one hand and scribbling out an epiphany on a murder case with another, when Damian's demonic dulcet voice echoed down from the ceiling. "Drake," said Damian, judgemental, "You live like this?"
Tim nearly choked on his ramen, because the day Damian doesn't attempt to murder him - however doubtfully accidental this incident might be - is the day Darkseid decides to be friends with the Justice League. "Fucking knock," Tim coughed out. "And get out. No one invited you in."
"Put better traps if you don't want me here," said Damian, dropping from the ceiling where he'd crawled in on wall-clamps.
"This is my apartment," said Tim. "It's called courtesy."
Damian sniffed. He padded around to Tim's desk and frowns at his cases, then said, with no further lead up, "I need your assistance."
"No," said Tim.
"You did not even listen to my request."
"Don't need to," said Tim. "Answer's still no. Door is that way. Bye."
"Father says mutually assisting each other is beneficial," said Damian.
"Father," said Tim sarcastically, "blamed me for you exploding a glitter bomb in the batcave two weeks ago."
"That is your fault for not being able to provide evidence to the contrary in an appropriately efficient manner," said Damian. He squinted down at Tim. "And he apologized. Eventually."
"I would not have glittered the batcomputer," said Tim. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to backup those servers? No, because you don't like tech work, you just profit off it."
"Blaming me for Father's mistake," said Damian, "Most mature of you. But we must put our differences aside. I have selected a new family member and I need you to dismantle a government organization."
That drew Tim up short. He blinked down at his ramen as though it might explain Damian's words to him, but the ramen remained disappointingly uninformative. "Repeat that," said Tim, gesturing with his chopsticks. "Slower, and with more detail."
Damian pulled out his phone and sent him an email. Silence surrounded them in the brief moment it took Tim to set aside his chopsticks and open the email. The subject line was titled 'New Baby Brother', which birthed all sorts of horrifying nightmares of Damian Part 2: Demon Child Boogaloo. The teen in the inserted picture, however, was reassuringly not in possession of Damian's bone structure.
He did have black hair and blue eyes. "Who am I looking at?" asked Tim.
"Daniel Fenton," said Damian. "He is fourteen years old, enjoys puns, and has recently awakened 'ghost powers' that allow him to transform into the vigilante Phantom to fight other ghosts."
"Is he also an orphan with a tragic backstory?"
"No," said Damian, and Tim relaxed. "But that will not be an issue. We can share custody if they cannot be removed from the picture."
"Jesus H, kid."
"I am joking, of course," said Damian blandly. "Murder is wrong."
"Ha ha," said Tim. "If he has parents already he's not joining our menagerie."
"He will," said Damian, with a smug upwards tilt of his lips. "He and I have a deal."
"So you're coercing him in addition to stalking him. Anything else you want to share with the class?"
Damian considered this query with a serious frown, which was how Tim knew this was not a flight of fancy or a very early midlife crisis (although with their lifestyle and Damian already having died before...).
"He has," said Damian after a moment, "a rogue that calls himself 'The Master of all Technology' and is a technopath." This was clearly meant to be of interest to Tim, and not to be a stereotype, but it kind of was.
"Great." Tim turned his attention back to the email the demon child sent him. He scanned through it quickly. There was apparently a secret and evil government organization dedicated to the investigation and extermination of 'ghosts' and other paranormal creatures in the world. Their latest efforts were focused on the town of Amity Park, Illinois, which was 'infested with ectoplasmic pests'. Their words, not Damian's. (It was specified in the email.)
"Okay," Tim drummed his fingers against his desk. "Before I help you defeat this secret evil government organization so that," he opened the email attachment with a contract on it and squinted at the legalese, "this poor newbie teen you've harassed into signing this joins the family in exchange."
"I did not harass him," Damian huffed. "It was a gentleman's agreement."
"Does he know that?"
"I am not a politician, Drake. I thoroughly explained the terms and legalities before presenting any contract. Now ask your question."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because," said Damian, tone implying 'you are stupid and haven't noticed something obvious, idiot'. "Father has begun saying he misses the noise around the manor and looking wistfully at old pictures."
"We still live there though?" said Tim. Damian looked flatly at him. "Sometimes."
"If you lived there frequently enough," said Damian, "you would already know Father is having...empty nest syndrome." Damian sounded disgusted. "I refuse to tolerate whatever inadequate and incompetent child he will find."
"So instead you found an incompetent and inadequate child for him?"
"Don't be stupid, Drake," said Damian. "I would not have chosen someone inadequate. Daniel is merely lacking formal training. Father can rectify this. It will keep him occupied for at least the next two to four years, which gives me enough time to find another black-haired, blue-eyed, tolerable child I approve of to be his successor and my second younger sibling." Damian paused. "Or until one of you procreates and gives him a grandchild."
"You're really serious about this," Tim whispered in horrified awe.
"I am serious about everything I do," said Damian. "Now, you will help me defeat this evil government organization so that our new sibling joins us."
"Okay," said Tim, but his mind snagged on a minor, throwaway detail, so utterly in odds with Damian 'Demonic Jealous Child' Al Ghul it surely came from another person - "Did you just call this kid your successor?"
#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#batman#no danny in this yet...#just damian and tim bc they amuse me#my writing#title is a reference to scott pilgrim vs the world bc like. damian isn't fighting 7 evil exes but he is fighting an evil govt. org#i shall add more hopefully... this idea amuses me a lot...#and then post it to ao3 once it is longer...#probably...#anyway the damian and danny conversation went loosely as follows:#Damian: vigilante ghost child. I have decided you are worthy of being my newest brother.#Danny: ... I'm flattered I guess? But I already have a family.#Damian: *begins outlining all the dumb stuff in Danny's life that would be improved by joining the batfam*#Damian: *realizes his strategy isn't working*#Damian:... i will dismantle the government org hunting you in exchange for your cooperation and joining my family#Danny: ?? whatever sure if you get rid of them I'll call you big bro#Damian: we shall get along well
1K notes
·
View notes