#he is a king who is realistic about the good and bad his god is capable of

[hkrieg]

Everyone's favorite (or least favorite) martial god...

[amethxxt]

i'm ranting about descendants again and this is a long one

Alright, I talked a little bit about this on twitter literally yesterday (https://x.com/amethxxt/status/1798768561613361458) but I wanted to do it here too, so here we are!!

I think everyone has seen these pictures by now. It's from Descendants new book "The World of Auradon: Royals & Villains".

Now, at first, I got really excited (in a way, I still am) because it'll probably give me more material to use in my fics. Also, Uma looks absolutely stunning, so I immediately began reading her page and... Well, it's not the nicest things, right?

Like I said on twitter, I can't be the only one who sees the majorly different ways they talk about Uma and Mal.

With Mal, they start saying she's a "confident natural leader", and like- no, she's not, far from it.

I think the best version we got from Mal was on D1. She was such a good character and that's when I think the writers succeded the most with her - I believe it was hard to find someone who actively disliked or simply hated her.

When D2 came out, things went slightly downhill. Mal's inner conflict of not being the picture perfect Lady of the Court and feeling that the odd one out because she wasn't doing well in Auradon when compared to her friends is very realistic.

The pressure that she was feeling to be perfect and all the new things that came with being the King's girlfriend makes you understand why she was so anxious and wanted to leave. Now, I think we should all understand that this makes Mal a very insecure person.

She's insecure, she's flawed and runs away the first chance she gets because everything becomes too much. And if they wrote her like that, how is she a confident natural leader?

When the Core Four and Ben go after her, it's when things begin to change. Mal has a few moments in this movie: running away and leaving just a note to her best friend, claiming Dizzy was going to be fine when Evie felt sorry about leaving a child in the abusive place they all grew up in, betraying Uma's trust. Yeah.

I'm gonna make it very clear that I really like Mal as a character. I criticize her a lot because the writers started putting her in a pedestal, overpowering her and trying to erase anything that could be seen as bad.

Why would they have Mal apologize for using a love spell on Ben when they make such a cute couple and would be endgame anyways?

It gets worse in D3. I remember watching them announce that Hades was Mal's father and being like "No fucking way" because you want this girl to be not only half-fairy but a half-god?? Was this the only way to have his ember in the story?

Well, I think we got used to that plot after a while, but then - Oh, Mal's also Lady of the Court, she'll be a part of the decisions that concern the Isle of the Lost and a voice for the other VKs.

Yes, Mal is "a confident natural leader" who turns her back on her people and comes up to the idea of closing the Barrier for good to protect Auradon citizens.

Why do they refuse to bring up the fact that it was her idea?? Nevermind the fact that her and Ben weren't married yet, she was not the Queen and had absolutely no power to make that decision. They make Ben so useless, a King with no voice because he's not the main character, right?

So she makes a decision that's not up to her and proceeds to lie to all of her friends, makes empty promisses to both Celia and Uma, and when shit hits the fan, nothing happens.

Having Evie confront her about it is one of my favorite scenes, but what are the consequences? I understand that it was the final movie, but it's so rushed that makes everyone else feel out of character.

Mal and Evie can be the best of friends, but you can't tell me Mal would be like "I was wrong, I have to be a voice for everyone and I shouldn't have lied" and Evie would be just "Ok, perf".

And what about the opposite? When Mal betrays Uma for probably the third time, Uma has no trouble forgiving her? Of course they don't mention what happens in the books, they don't mention Mal trying to hurt Evie (or even get her killed lol) and they don't mention the "shrimpy" incident with Uma.

They don't talk about Mal's wrong doings the same way they talk about Uma.

Uma, according to the new book, is a "confident and resourceful VK with a major mean streak". Sorry, Uma has a mean streak? I don't think so. What Disney and Descendants keep doing is use the definition of a villain for a character who's an antagonist.

Villains have malicious intentions, they are evil. You're gonna tell me the girl who simply wants for all the children to get off the Isle, a place they were forced to live in along with murderers and other criminals, some of those who happened to be their parents, all while surviving off of the garbage that came from Auradon, is the evil one?

That is not to say Uma doesn't make mistakes or does bad things. Mal and Uma have the common point of using a love spell on Ben, which is awful and should be acknowledged as that, but they only do it in Uma's case.

"When Mal and her friends successfully freed Ben, Uma took it one step further by putting Ben under a magic love spell" x "She [Mal] used spells to mess with other students, to convince Ben that he loved her, and to change herself in order to fit in as Ben's girlfriend. But once she realized she needed to ditch the spell book and learn to survive without magic, she was able to become the queen she was always meant to be"

Those... are not the same to me. They detail every thing Uma does during D2, making it clear that using a love spell was worse than the previous actions of kidnapping him, but with Mal it almost feels like they excuse her actions because, eventually, she learned that magic wasn't the way to become who she was meant to be.

Also, what do you mean Mal felt guilty about the other VKs who were left behind? Mal didn't even look sad when her and Evie were leaving Dizzy behind! Evie was the one to come up with the idea to bring more children to Auradon, and when that magically turned into the VK Day (my arch-nemesis plotline along with Merlin Academy), she didn't look worried at all that it would them so long to free all the kids if they were going to pick 4 each time.

And again, her idea to close the Barrier for good (with no way in or out) would mean that eventually, everyone left in the Isle would die. I know it's Disney, and they would never make that happen, but if you're not going in to even leave your trash there (aka their food source), yeah, they're all dying.

Now, with Uma, they point out how she wanted to escape and get revenge on Mal, but like...... not really? Of course she mentions in D2 how she wants Mal's new turf and tries to make a deal with her to leave with her crew, but when she's actually free and we get into D3, it's been months (I think) and while Auradon's scared she's going to do something, we find out Uma spent all that time looking for a hole in the Barrier to get the kids out.

When she makes another deal to help Mal, all she asks for is the guarantee that every kid who wants to leave the Isle is able to do so. Who breaks that promise? The "villain" with the major mean streak or the confident natural leader?

I'm not saying that Mal is real villain, because she's really not. But she's far from how they describe her and if you're gonna tell me she's a natural leader, I better not see her bringing down the Barrier, letting both the kids and villains out, and acting like it's the right thing to do.

VK Day wasn't the answer to free the innocents, but bringing down the Barrier isn't it either! Mal doesn't "help convice Auradon citizens to accept all VKs into Auradon Prep" she just decides to do that lol

And again, that decision is not up to her, she had no legal right to do it. She was just Lady of the Court and nothing else.

Like I said on twitter, Disney and Descendants like Uma because she's a fan favorite, she was one since they announced her as a character. But they insist on the idea that Auradon changed her for the better, as if she was never someone who fought for what was right. She's not perfect either, but they can't write about her in a way that makes her look better than Mal.

How did Mal stop her at the end of D2? Mal didn't do anything, they were fighting, Ben made a speech, Uma turned around and left. That was it.

How did Auradon transform her? Of course they are implying that because of Rise of Red and her becoming the new principal, and even though this plot still kinda confuses me, it still seems like all the wants is for Auradon to be a fair place that doesn't discriminate against anyone.

I now this is getting too long, but I really like ranting about descendants. It's my comfort franchise but there's so many things wrong with it lol

And I also know I'm probably looking too deep into it, but I don't think I'm the only one who sees the ways Disney has always treated Uma and Mal differently.

I want to get this book and see if there's anything else about them. I really wished Disney and Descendants treated Uma better, though.

[dangermousie]

Hey dangermousie some time when you're feeling up for an ask: what are your favorite webnovels? Like danmei, bg, general fiction, anything. You've shared so many intetesting sounding novels in other posts so I was curious what some of the top favorites are? I remember Sha Po Lang, Ever Night, and The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (which I'm reading because of you ToT)

I love this ask! I am gonna limit myself to 35 novels or we will be here all night. The usual caveat is - this is very personal. You will see that out of 35 (well, 36) novels, there is only one modern, there is a lot of angst and things like noncon and unhealthy relationships don't bother me. But I dislike harem infights and protags who are too OP.

35 I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - a lovely novel where one half of otp is healthy and wholesome and the other abused feral wreck who melts under sanity and care.

34 After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - our MC is a modern person who transmigrates into a historical bad guy who apparently married a captured and crippled general who eventually healed, escaped and committed a lot of murder to avenge his humiliation. Poor historian MC transmigrates right before the wedding and is desperate to avoid the fate of having his head hang on the city gates for three years in the near future. Good luck! This has such a wholesome (yet not boring) OTP. Proof that healthy doesn't have to be dull.

33 You've Got Mail by He Dan Bai (danmei) - the sex in this one is gonzo and biologically questionable but the love story is wistful and sweet and somehow both hilarious and involving two rather damaged people.

32 The Blue Whisper by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love and what makes you you. I sniffled throughout.

31 The Paranoid Emperor’s Black Moonlight Shizun by Chen Sensen (danmei) - a really screwed up disciple and a really decent master have some insane entanglements. To say more would be to spoil but if you want some intensity, angst, groveling and utter codependency and did I mention ANGST? this one is for you!

30 Demon King's Repayment by Gong Xinwen (het) - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

29 Accompanying the Phoenix by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

28 The Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid by Jia Mian De Sheng Yan (het) - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero. Yet the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

27 The Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (het) - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection), with a complex plot and no easy outs.

26 The Grand Princess by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a husband and wife who really drifted apart and ended up killing each other (or did they?) get a second chance as they are reborn as their younger selves. This has a great plot, a competent set of protags, and slow burn with complexity and trauma and somehow yet lightness. Plus awesome secondary OTPs!

25 Copper Coins by Mu Su Li (danmei) - a monk and a dragon? More likely than you may think. This is smart and wistful and made me cry; the romance doesn't kick in for the longest time and it doesn't even matter.

24 The Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai (danmei) - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

23 Long Wind Crossing (Destined) by Mo Shu Bai (het) - two functional lovely people fighting the world and growing up together and forming an amazing marriage.

22 Mistakenly Saving the Villain by Feng Yu Nie (danmei) - so underrated. A perfect h/c fantasy with the most functional MC and fucked up ML that never puts even a toe wrong with a premise that could go seriously bad so many different ways, instead telling a funny, moving story of love helping you heal.

21 I'll Be the Male Lead's Sister in Law by September Flowing Fire (het) - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

20 The Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Sha Cha Ke (het) - not a typical QSCK at all, this one has a heroine who wakes up after being killed by her awful family; in her past life she was a general whose glory went to her cousin but here she chooses to start anew. Revenge is secondary to her - forming a new life and healing are really the focus. Also the OTP (FL and a male general with his own tragedy, and her former schoolmate) is just EVERYTHING!

19 Nan Chan by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - it reads like poetry crossed with a nightmare. One of the most unusual novels I've read and with the most alien set of protagonists I've ever read and believably so (a personification of a sword and a cannibalistic fish), I can't even describe this in any way other than a deity-centric paean to atheism.

18 The Rest of My Life by Mo Shu Bai (het) - the sole modern on this list, this is a novella about an aftermath of a regular office worker with a regular life and a regular husband being raped. It's a hard hard read but it's amazing.

17 To Rule In a Turbulent World by Fei Tian Ye Xiang (danmei) - gay Minglan is my elevator pitch. Well that or "what happens if you stick cottagecore and crucifixion in one novel."

It’s a BL novel but honestly, it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating (I never thought I’d find daily farming things interesting but here I am.) Farming, politics and the sudden horrors of war all intermingle perfectly.

Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he buys a sex slave on a whim from his friend (OK, wait wait wait don’t go, why are you bailing :P) Basically You Miao sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. Let's back up - You Miao - our protag. He is the main reason I love the novel. It’s hard to write a character who is wealthy, kinda spoiled, sometimes immature and still make him eminently likeable. You Miao is also smart, pragmatic, funny, surprisingly laid back, a people person, and with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is not perfect in any way but he is a real living breathing person I came to love.

Anyway, the ostensible sex slave he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go (not before they have some pretty explicit sex because hey - You Miao is all ‘why not, might be fun to try’ and LZF is “dude saved my life, why not.’ One of the things I love about the story is that there is no instalove - both sex and love make sense in the way and the order they happen; the two bang on a semi regular basis long before their feelings fully develop into love, which is pretty gradual and realistic.) However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him. One of the pleasures of the novel is watching LZF slowly transform from a piece of wood automaton into a genuine person who allows himself joy or temper.

So meticulously written, so smart, so vivid, such a cast of secondary characters (that friend who was beating LZF to death ended up being one of my favorite, most tragic characters in the novel because the author gets people are complex.)

16 The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by MXTX (danmei) - a pastiche parody of web novels that somehow is both witty and makes me genuinely feel desperately for the protags. Go read!

15 Dandere General and His Lord by Gong Xinwen (het) - God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

14 The Marquis Is Innocent by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is the set up of very beautiful yet utterly cold-hearted woman marrying a ruthless, powerful man who eventually ends up on top of the murder pyramid. And a relationship that starts as a political arrangement with the husband not caring for her but then the ruthless scheming murder machine falls hard for her while FL actually does not, not yet. It takes a long time. This is such a glorious slow burn (I think by now you realized I love slow burns) and it takes her a very long time to open up or for him to realize that is what he wants (he's a very believable period man who finds it hard to admit he can actually have his happiness based on a woman) and there are steps forward and back and it's glorious, glorious!

13 Thousand Miles of Bright Moonlight by 罗青梅 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het) - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell but cautious and wounded heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior but also terribly ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. Both the protags are such intense, good people longing for happiness but not daring for it. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

12 Mountain and River Pillow by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a tender intense and tragic slowburn which shows the limits of knowing what will happen and the fight to reestablish the family with an amazing amazing OTP. Heroine transmigrated into her past self; this time she chooses to go through with her arranged marriage instead of running away for love (it ended badly) but her knowledge fails to prevent her new sweet husband and his whole family murdered in battle and framed for treason. All that is, except for her husband's youngest brother, barely adult and left with an almost impossible task. In the past life he managed but it hollowed him out. In this one he has a sister in law to assist so...Anyway, both the protags are smart, good, intense and amazing people and I love them separately and as an OTP. By far my favorite MSB novel.

11 Those Years In Quest of Honour Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo (danmei) - another really underrated gem, it’s funny and heart-breaking and made me laugh and sniffle within pages of each other. Its two protagonists are both walking wounded but also good people, and watching them find happiness despite all the horrors the world threw at them, watching them take care of each other is so lovely. Also, someone once described the ML as “Lan Wangji gone feral” and that is just A++++

10 The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX (danmei) - we all know that one is there even any point describing it.

9 Nightfall/Ever Night by Mao Ni (not romance centric but het) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. And the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and just so so bleak.

8 Wu Chang Jie by Shui Qian Cheng (danmei) - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet. In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever. And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on. If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in. There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify. Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

7 Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang) by Priest (danmei) - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

6 Heaven Official's Blessing by by MXTX (danmei) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

5 (tie) The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl by 一味相思 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het)- Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

5 Wishing You Eternal Happiness by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is almost tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach. Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

4 Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train. In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs. Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

3 Dreamer In the Spring Boudoir by Bai Lu Cheng Shuang (het) - my n1 het novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

2 Stains of Filth (Yuwu) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated. Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love. Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

1 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) -my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.) Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!) Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

[possessedopossum]

Antivan crows treatment [obviously spoilers]

I do NOT agree with the popular sentiment that the crows got sanitized in this game. I DO have questions about crow related writing choices but this is not the choice I have problems with.

Showing one concept, event, place or a person from multiple perspectives is one of the core features of dragon age series. We always had different and sometimes contradicting views on the same thing. For example, the Circle as Vivienne sees it and the Circle as Anders sees it are two very different Circles. It's not bad writing, it's how biases, personal experiences and opinions work. I would like to remind you that Solas says about spirits' perspectives on Ostagar – no matter how different the visions are, they are both real.

Zevran and Lucanis are different as night and day. Obviously a whore's son (no offense) and first talon's grandchild would have different experiences. So would crow Rook, who gets special princess treatment from Viago, also a talon. So would Viago, who is the antivan king's bastard. So would Teia, who considers the crows her family, since she never had one to begin with. They all either joined the crows willingly or were born into it. They weren't sold to the crows by brothel madam like Zevran was.

And at the end of the day, the crows are still assassins. Even being first talon's favorite grandchild won't save you from abuse and literal torture. You are still supposed to undergo the harsh training that will leave you without food and water for days and Maker knows what else. You still work with people who strive for power and would do anything to obtain it. House Arannai changed 6 talons throughout 20 years. Half of the talons were murdered in tevinter nights by the traitor who sold them out to qunari. Dellamorte family almost got wiped out. Some npc casually says Viago would be very sad if he had to kill crow Rook but that he would still do it anyway if necessary. The crows literally made Jacobus, a literal child, full fledged assassin in front of our eyes. What other proof of crows being shitty people need? A quest line where we personally torture children? Do you really want this to be so on the nose?

Yes, the crows are treated like the good guys by the narrative and there are pretty good reasons for that. 1) We can play as a crow and it SHOULD give us, the player, a bias 2) There are more important tasks at hand. We are fighting gods. We aren't fighting for the wellbeing of Antiva, we are fighting for the wellbeing of reality itself. With such high stakes crows shittyness is absolutely irrelevant 3) The crows are Antiva's one and only defense. No matter how shitty they are, without them, it will be worse 4) Glorification of organized crime is a thing that happens in real life and I thought we liked our games somewhat realistic.

I can go as far as sharing some personal info on the last part. I like the crows very much because I grew up in the area so riddled with crime an average person from rich white neighborhood would lose their mind. The best governor our fucked up city ever had was the local gangster. Crime was family business to him and that's why he cared for the city more than other governors – his children would have to live here after he dies. The dude killed people for money but the city was finally clean and pretty and much safer than it used to be. I don't have a problem with antivan crows being batman-ized because I've seen so happen irl. Is it sad that sometimes only mafia can keep a city from falling apart? Yes. But it is real and that's why it is beautiful. Veilguard feels very realistic to me and I don't get the bad writing claims. I guess our governor wasn't realistic enough, I'll tell him if I meet his ghost.

The problem I have with the crows is how the Ivenci/Butcher plot was handled. It felt like it was rushed and added at the last moment. I'm not against Ivenci as a villain, I am simply mourning the lost potential. The plot could have been much better if Rook started to suspect something is wrong on their own. Extra scenes with Butcher to flesh out the character more would have benefited the quest line. I'm glad that Veilguard added some positive qunari rep with Taash and Shathann but there could have been more. Bioware could have told us WHY the Butcher decided to desert. He seems to have more respect for qunari philosophy than other antaam leaders. Why couldn't he stay with his Arishok, then? There is a huge difference between bad writing and the lack of writing. Ivenci and Butcher aren't badly written, they simply lack screen time.

My overall opinion of the game is very positive. Yeah, it could have been better. But it also could have been much worse. There could always been more time to plan, more tools to use, more choices to explore. But things never work out the way you want them to. I think given the circumstances and EA's desire to make live service games, bioware gave us their best shot. Regret is nothing but pride, vanity and a waste of time. The game itself says so. And I would rather enjoy the game as it is than waste my time thinking what it could have been.

[evergreenalice]

I'm going to do something controversial

and defend Paris of Troy (well... sort of... he's still a dick, fuck that guy... but like... also in a very unenviable position)

reminder, there isn't really a mythological "canon", I do not intend to deliver to you the 100% canon accurate interpretation of the story of Paris, because there is no such thing.

Moving on, Paris' situation was kinda fucked, and I think there's some interesting things to be said

let us first explain who Paris is for those unaware, most of what I'm about to say is recounted in PseudoApollodorus' Bibliotheca

Paris was born to Hecuba and Priam, queen and king of the city of Troy

before he was born his mother had a nightmare that she would birth a torch that consumed the city in flame, and it was decided that this meant her son would bring the downfall of Troy

they wanted to kill him, but the guy they had kill him chickened out and chose the human option... of leaving him in the wilderness to die, as one does. You know what they say, if can't use Plan B, Plan C it is.

now luckily (or rather unluckily) he survived, and came to be raised as a shepherd. Interestingly according to Ovid, and I believe nobody else, Paris actually was a slave during this period of his life, though it makes sense, many abandoned children did get enslaved, to my knowledge, this was especially common in Rome, so this may be Ovid viewing this through a particularly Roman lens here.

According to PseudoApollodorus, Paris was pretty cool in his childhood, getting the name Alexandros, "defender of men" for being cool, and fighting off bandits and shit.

Eventually, through details we sadly lack to my knowledge, Paris fell in love with a nymph, Oenone. Sadly, there's not a ton attested about her, but what we do have seems to portray a genuinely positive relationship, though Oenone prophesied its eventually end due to the love he would develop for a foreign princess which would be his undoing.

moving on to the famous Judgement of Paris. Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena appear before the young Paris, and ask him which goddess is the most beautiful, and each offered him something in return for his answer being them. I want to note... there was no good answer here, I've seen people say "well [insert answer] would've been better." there wasn't a good answer, it would always have pissed off two of these goddesses, and also most certainly lead to Paris' and Troy's downfall, because that is what the Fates foretold, you can't just get out of a prophesy, any action would just lead you back to it.

In many ways, his choice of Aphrodite for the hand of Helen is actually a really genre-savvy answer from one perspective. He's promised power, glory, or love, and he chooses love. In many stories this would be the right answer, forsaking those other things for what really matters, love. Of course, this ends up being bad because... well first of he's cheating on Oenone, and, oopsies, Helen is married, and anyone who kidnaps her is going to be invaded by basically every Greek!

Thing is... did Paris know this? Did the shepherd/maybe slave know who tf Helen was? Realistically no. It's very possible in this situation to with no context, think, "Oh the last one seems like the least likely to blow up in my face."

as for the cheating thing, let me remind you... Aphrodite is the goddess of love, her retinue, the Erotes were generally believed to be able to overcome people with immense romantic feelings

In the Fall of Troy by Quintus Smyrnaeus, Paris tells Oenone as he dies, that it was not of his will that he abandoned her

now, the easiest way to take this is Paris is begging for his life, and is trying to present himself as a victim to evoke empathy to convince her to help him

however... considering the gods involved... yeah no it's possible he's being genuine here

In Ovid's Heroides, Oenone says this "Your tears fell as you left me – this, at least, deny not! We mingled our weeping, each a prey to grief; the elm is not so closely clasped by the clinging vine as was my neck by your embracing arms." which certainly strengthens the idea that Paris was heavily conflicted but moved by divine will

admittedly, I don't have much else to say, but idk, just some interesting things I don't see mentioned that often in reference to Paris (I also learned that Ovid called him a slave once? I did not know this, I learned this while looking for sources, oddly I've never seen anyone talk about this, I'm more interested in this now than anything else, like, I know it's just one line, but damn now I'm really curious what stories Ovid had access to that are today lost that made him say that.)

oh yeah also, you're welcome for siting my sources, because so many other sites I found talking about Paris that I read as a refresher, just didn't have sources, not even Wikipedia for a lot of that! I'm still mad about that so I made sure to mention my sources, if anything due to being petty and wanting to be better

[qqueenofhades]

maybe i'm misunderstanding the concept, but it lately it's felt like Online Leftists™️ have been using homonationalism as a cudgel against lgbt people wanting to go abroad and feel comfortable doing so instead of as idk a way to critique american exceptionalism or whatever

The thing about Online Leftists and American exceptionalism in any capacity is that literally all their ideas and concepts of it are a) gibberish and b) completely contradictory and hypocritical. This is because it is all based on a reactionary Vibes ideology that has to constantly change itself to oppose whatever the Democrats/the US/the West in general is doing and therefore has no actual logical guidelines or consistent internal principles. To wit:

America is the most powerful country in the world, and that influence is always and forever totally evil because (insert terrible shit America has done here, which is then generalized and applied to all time periods and places without context or nuance). Indeed, America is so powerful that no other country or government in the world has actual agency or makes real choices for which they are morally and legally responsible; they're just helpless and manipulated pawns reacting to American/Western imperialism (which is the only kind of imperialism that exists, somehow). As such, nothing they ever do is actually "bad" or worthy of condemnation, because they're just totally victimized by America and everything they do is justified as long as it is anti-America. Hence, Russia genociding the Ukrainians is actually fine and good, the Ukrainians must have deserved it somehow (witness how many of the people currently screaming about Gaza were yelling that Ukraine was totally fine to attack actually!) and America is evil for trying to intervene. Russian propaganda calls America bad, we think America is bad, and therefore Russian propaganda must be correct, we love Russian propaganda a whole lot and have no interest in examining that fact any further. Russia is actually good because it used to be the USSR! Did you know that?

However, Israel genociding Gaza is utterly unforgivable and terrible and anyone who tries to offer any kind of realistic critique or appraisal of what can or can't be done to stop it is a genocide apologist. America should in fact be intervening to the point of invading Israel and/or dismantling the Israeli state, because maximalist American military intervention is Good when we say it is (but the rest of the time it's the most awful evil thing in the world WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT THE GLOBAL SOUTH). America is still the most powerful country in the world and it should be intervening at all times, but actually it shouldn't do that at all because we're totally not the right-wing America First isolationists sent through the rabbit hole. If America does not choose to exercise its almighty godlike power to stop all the evil in the world (but remember, American military intervention of any kind is obviously bad and Ukraine should definitely still be genocided), it is just proving how evil it actually is. Remember, nobody else makes real choices. They're just reacting to America. America is all-powerful and also evil but still should use this evil power for good because it's good if we decide it is.

Voting is meaningless because the parties are the same, but it's powerful enough to produce a president god-king who could just decide to snap his fingers and end all bad things in the world but just doesn't do that (at least if he's a Democrat; we don't really care what a Republican president does). We think this is a good idea, but don't worry, America is still the source of all evil in the world. America should intervene everywhere and nowhere all at once. America should do nothing because everything it does is evil and past redemption and the only solution is The Revolution which destroys society. America is evil because it was founded on the violent oppression and exploitation of minorities, and therefore the solution is to let fascists be elected to punish those minorities even more because they get in the way of our purist thought experiments and their actual lived experiences don't matter when they contradict our Ideology. BUT ACTUALLY IT STILL SHOULD MILITARILY INTERVENE EVERYWHERE WE SAY SO BUT ACTUALLY IT SHOULDN'T EVER GLOBAL SOUTH. (We don't know what the Global South is or any of its issues, politics, problems, identities, languages, postcolonial developments or so forth, but we know that the Cold War happened and it was all America's fault. Have you heard this piece of Russian propaganda about how Joe Biden is the antichrist? SILENCE IS VIOLENCE SO YOU BETTER SHARE IT.)

Likewise, we support LGBTQ rights in theory but we don't think they're ever worth actually voting to protect (remember, voting is meaningless!) if that also contradicts our aim of The Revolution. We love virulently anti-gay groups like the Houthis if they theoretically support our Anti Genocide stance (don't look at Ukraine, that doesn't count) and also hate Jews. Israel is the only country in the world that has LGBTQ rights and also does stupid or awful military things, and therefore it alone is the problem because it's just pretending to be a democracy or have LGBTQ rights (in comparison to the rest of the Middle East) because it's just cynically covering for all its sins, but those sins are actually America, because Israel is just a white settler colonialist outpost of America, so America not stopping what Israel is doing (by being Israel) is bad. Remember, America is the source of all evil in the world and all other countries are its puppets, so it is also Israel, but it should stop being Israel, because it's the only country that ever makes any choices or has agency. We are very smart.

...basically, if your head hurt trying to read that or follow the logic, that's the point. It has to change constantly and contort itself around in order to both oppose those Weak Mainstream Liberals and act like it has the perfect moral high ground in doing so, regardless of what principles it has to change or what hypocrisies it has to embrace. As such, it has been stripped of any authentic critique or ability to say anything about anything, and I suggest we generally stop letting it pretend that it does. That is the only way to rescue western leftism and make it actually 2% of use at opposing fascism, because right now? Nah. Not in the least. It's actively and gleefully enabling fascism, and after so long hearing how us normie Democratic-voting losers were going to be the ones collaborating with fascists, it makes me just a little bit crazy. Good thing we can erase that too.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Manga - Tome 2, Part 1

Even the manga calls them friends!! He is impressed by their bravery and exploits, and it IS natural that he should join forces with them, at least to understand Jiva's strange behaviour.

Personally, I just think he wanted to go on an adventure with Yugo, Amalia, and Eva, but needs to justify it to himself in some more professional and cold way.

Standing there so cutely...

[casually sits on a rock in a cool pose and doesn't talk to anyone or socialize, just staring awkwardly, like a true warrior with 0 social anxiety issues.]

He's so funny, I can't do this anymore.

Show-off.

Casts a sidelong Judgemental Gaze about their landing.

Lands perfectly, just like a cat. Catboy.

Sorry to keep screenshotting panels where he says Nothing, but the longer he does that, the more awkward it gets. Truly, he is a king of socialization.

Of course Joris would be interested in steam engines... It's cute to see him be excited.

Joris puts his hands in his pockets. We now know that his pants actually have pockets + that Joris puts his hands in those to strike a casual — yet still cool looking — pose. You're welcome.

Very Kerubim-core pose of him to do.

Firstly, this is a very good drawing. Secondly, Joris is very serious about travel preparations. Thirdly, he and Eva once again show themselves to be the two sane people of their respective groups.

Besides that, he addresses the multiple elephants in the room: it's bad that a person who is already close to a god even more power, and she might not keep her promise, and even if they use the dofuses against her, they are still probably toast.

Basically, Joris's outlook is one of very realistic pessimism.

Amalia asks him before anyone else. She really looks up to him :)

I'm sorry for being unable to stop screenshotting him. The art of this manga is wonderful. I also love the very cautious way he approaches this interaction. fsjfgsdfa.

Of course he wants to take care of the equipment.

[casually leaves with the group while not looking at anyone and trying to walk as far away from others as he can]

I;'m insane.,

An interesting note: Joris did not walk together with Ruel, Yugo, Adamai, and Pinpin to try his hand at taming the shushu — but he is also not present anywhere near Amalia or Eva. Now me pointing out that he was walking a bit away from everyone seems a bit more poignant.

This guy left them all to quietly go cook some food.

VERY big page for Joris fans. He seems to have been making well-done dragoturkey and soup. While wearing a cute apron. (I really don't think he expected anyone to walk in on him... jgkdsfg. Judging by the size, it's something he brought with him from home.)

This confirms that: Joris likes meat well-done, Joris wears aprons, Joris likes cute aprons, and Joris is used to spats with shushus that control environments and furniture and attempted to use that skill here.

VERY big for me, as a fan of the friendship between Joris and Amalia&Eva. The way they giggle at his misfortune, and the way he doesn't take it to heart... sfgjsdf

This is why I really like the manga, as a fan of Joris. There's a very friendly and domestic side to him shown here.

The way he just Copes and sets the burnt dragoturkey on the table anyway is so funny... He's very nervous about time, and planning, and he is willing to eat something very bad for that reason.

Also! He is helping the girls with their task, instead of trying his hands at taming the shushu — and he was doing this without telling anybody. I'm assuming it's a mixture of him being a friend to Eva and Amalia, of being used to cook for his family (he and Keke both do, but I think Joris does it more often), and just plain not wanting two people to do the job that would be more efficient with three.

Besides that, I just think it doesn't sit right with Joris, for two women (one of whom is pregnant) to do all the cooking.

He is so, so responsible. Also, "a little worried" and "we need to plan for Every Contingency" is a funny combo of words.

Once again, readers, he is "a little worried."

Also, hngnhn. He cares about Yugo's feelings a lot — and he trusts Eva and Amalia enough to say this to them.

Aww, Adamai's "hungryyyy..." is so cute. I'm assuming Joris fretting with the stove is probably him trying to clean it a little after it burned the food.

Joris once again being responsible and asking questions about things immediately.

Joris is the only one not eating or drinking, and while it is relaistic to think he might have eaten before anyone came, I think it's more in character to think that his reasoning is "DO NOT EAT. WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU HAVE HUMAN NEEDS AND WEAKNESSES."

I'm trying so hard to come up with commentary to justify including so many images of him, but I am sad to say, the way he's drawn in this artstyle is far too cute. Just far too cute...

Notably, Joris is the only one who wasn't under the impression that Eva would be staying behind! (BASED, BASED, BASED BASED, B—-)

[harleyspinn]

i reworked the noble hierarchy in westeros

i saw a tweet about this yesterday and couldn’t stop thinking about it. it said something along the lines of “i wish grrm had used more diversity in highborn titles bc everyone is just a lord.” while i think grrm said he did this on purpose to make it all less confusing, i had a hyperfixation on noble rankings a few months ago and started developing more nuance to this stuff once i fixated on asoiaf. because of the tweet i really Really wanted to share this but i do not have a public twitter account (thank god)

also i don’t like that the literal king of the continent is called “your grace” when that title usually refers to non-royal dukes / duchesses. yeah it used to be a monarch’s title but the term “majesty” is so much more dramatic and i Love that stuff !!! i used a combination of english and canon titles with a dash of russian influence

THIS IS JUST FOR FUN it’s completely self serving and i wanted to share it for anyone else who desires even more complication in this fuckin series Don’t Attack Me.

so yippee here is my personal opinion on how westerosi nobility should be addressed (under the cut bc long post). the heading is the reworked title and form of address, and below i have random notes and reasonings aka me infodumping

pm if you have any questions or want to contribute!!!!

King / Queen of Westeros - “His / Her Imperial Majesty”

i wanted this to be more commanding and imposing to really show how coveted and important the throne and its power is aka give more realistic purpose for people to want it so bad. i think grander titles can put that idea him to people’s heads (besides “it’s neat” or as daemon said “a big chair made of swords”)

the title king / queen is perfectly good but i think it should be reserved for only the sole person on the throne. in my made-up ending of asoiaf, dany is queen of the six kingdoms (the north seceded and is ruled by sansa like in the show, and they have a close political allyship) and abolishes male-favoring primogeniture.

she also does some other stuff but that doesn’t matter here

westeros is technically an empire but i don’t want to call the monarch the emperor or empress, so i used just the form of address. since it’s a lot of syllables, the full three-word title is only needed during introductions or the very first address of the monarch. afterwards, the person speaking to them can just call them “your majesty” or “majesty” or “my king / queen”

—

Spouse of the King / Queen:

Grand Duke / Duchess - “His / Her Imperial Highness”

again, i wanted the king / queen to be The Person In Charge (whether or not the actual person does the work they should lol) so their spouse is less powerful than them and therefore not called “majesty”

i wanted to change this title more drastically because of my made-up ending (where dany is queen) and how there would definitely be future female monarchs who marry men, and i think having the king consort be called King would be confusing to people who are used to having only male rulers. it’d mess with their little heads

a duke is a nobleman who rules over a duchy and a lot of them are royal. in a lot of european monarchies, the grand duke title holds a similar amount of weight as the grand prince or archduke (i think used only in austria, so i didn’t go with that one) and only less than the king / queen so i thought this was a good fit :)

THAT BEING SAID!!!!!! this is also a lot more syllables. i decided that culturally and historically, most people have shortened their reference to the king’s wife and call her the queen. in all formal situations she would be the grand duchess, but calling her the queen for ease of conversation isn’t treason

—

Widowed spouse of the King / Queen:

Grand Lord / Lady - “His / Her Imperial Highness”

this was a recent addition because i thought everyone calling alicent the queen in hotd was a little silly. she was the queen for some time and is now the mother of the current king (and queen) and i like that they call her “queen dowager” sometimes, but since she would have been called the grand duchess in this timeline, i adapted that into something that seems respected and important but matches the political power they hold (not very much)

like how the grand duchess is casually called the queen, a grand lord / lady is sometimes called the queen dowager or the queen mother (see next point)

there is an exception to this title: if the widowed spouse is regent while their child is underaged or unable to rule (ceresi after joffrey is crowned) then they are called the queen regent or the queen mother, but becomes grand lady after their child comes of age. another example of this would be aegon ii being crowned when he’s an adult, so alicent was never his regent, therefore she would only be queen dowager or mother

all of this also swaps to if there’s a male widow it’s all the same thing just made masculine bc i don’t know the nuance of gender identity in westeros

i don’t like this one as much but idk what else to call it lmao

—

Siblings of the King / Queen:

Grand Prince / Princess - “His / Her Imperial Highness”

similar reasoning to the grand duke / duchess. siblings of an active monarch are super important but are not the same as their spouse

concerning targcest: the more important title overrules the one they’re first entitled to. example: helaena is never a grand princess because her and aegon married before he was crowned. she goes right to grand duchess, whereas aemond and daeron (yeah.) are grand princes

importantly, this title stays the same if and when the sibling outlives the monarch. they keep it for their whole lives Unless they gain a more important one, whereas almost all other titles change as soon as the monarchs do

—

Children, Grandchildren, and Siblings-in-law of the King / Queen

Prince / Princess - “His / Her Imperial Highness”

sometimes simplicity is key. in my head, any augments to this title indicates a lowering in status (the addition of “grand” meaning that they aren’t in line for the throne anymore, and the addition of “lord / lady” lowering them to a further removed position. second one is coming up next)

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Children-in-law and nephews / nieces of King / Queen:

Lord Prince / Lady Princess - “His / Her Highness”

these guys either aren’t blood related to the monarch or aren’t really in line for the throne. since non-royal nobility is still all variations of lord / lady to me, giving them this additional word kind of removes them from the main royal family

also taking away the full extent of the address by removing the “imperial.” they’re deserving of respect because of their relation, but are still more lowborn

the children-in-law of a monarch can keep their royal title(s) if they are widowed, but they lose them if they divorce

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Great-grandchildren of King / Queen:

Great Lord / Lady - “His / Her Grace”

and so appears the title of “your grace”

i wish i didn’t have to come up with this one but people have kids so damn young in this world that the kids often have actual relationships with their great-grandparents. so here we go, a royal-friendly variation of the lord / lady title. they aren’t grand, but they are great

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King / Queen of The North - “His / Her Majesty”

i like the idea of a free north. idk what the iron islands are doing and i haven’t thought about it enough to care yet

the north is not an empire, so they don’t get the addition of “imperial”

—

Spouse of the King / Queen of The North:

King / Queen - “His / Her Grace”

again, i just wanted to be loyal to grrm’s choice of address. and i don’t think the north would care as much as to who is who in terms of The Ruler, so sansa’s husband can be called the king

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Widowed spouse of the King / Queen of The North:

Lord King / Lady Queen

they’re royal but they’re also not too politically powerful. same as the westerosi one. i just got hit with sleepiness so sorry if these notes fall off in terms of quality

they don’t have a form of address beyond “my lord / lady” bc the north is less formal

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Siblings of the King / Queen of The North:

Prince / Princess

same as above in reference to the form of address!

i didn’t want to name it this for a while Only Because arya would not like being called princess. but it made sense for everyone else, so here we are

—

Children of the King / Queen of The North:

Prince / Princess - “His / Her Grace”

if there aren’t any kids of the king or queen, then the younger sibling that they name their heir is also called this. like when robb is king then bran is his heir bc he doesn’t have kids so he is called this when it’s just him and rickon in winterfell early in the series

—

Prince / Princess of Dorne - “His / Her Highness”

full respect to the dornish wanting to keep in their ways hell yeah

this also goes for the spouse of the ruler! the both of them are meant to rule in tandem because dorne is less exclusionary than the rest of westeros in this sense

—

Siblings of the Prince / Princess of Dorne:

Lord / Lady

dornish royal custom is more informal but i still wanted the family to be called something, so i mirrored the rest of the continent

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Children of the Prince / Princess of Dorne:

Lordborn / Ladyborn - “His / Her Grace”

same as above!

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Head of a Great House - Highlord / Highlady - “His / Her Grace”

this is basically a lord paramount. the primary house of a region (the old kings) is called a great house. i wanted to keep some of grrm’s titles so not much would reallyyyy have to change, but there’s basically no difference between a lord paramount and a vassal house and a lowborn one so here we are

the books refer to these people as “high lords” so that’s mostly where this came from. i also really like combining words that make sense to be combined! that’s why some of these new titles are Just altered versions of lord or lady

i want the highlords to be distinctly different from lower houses, so they have a simple form of address

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Spouse and Siblings of the Head of a Great House:

Lord / Lady

yes both of these guys have the same title because they probably carry similar power and influence with the highlord

—

Children of the Head of a Great House:

Lordborn / Ladyborn

this is also inspired by the term “lordling” that’s used in the canon. once one of the children becomes a highlord, their siblings all take the lord or lady title

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Head of a normal House - Lord / Lady

boring run of the mill yes yes let’s go

i don’t feel like making another category: the spouses of a head are also called a lord or lady. same thing

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Children of a Head of a normal House:

Lordborn / Ladyborn

born of a lord. girl is lady born of a lord

—

MISC NOTES!!!!

knights are still Ser ofc

once a person is appointed to a role of importance, they themselves are obligated to the title of Lord or Lady. this doesn’t extend to their family members. in my mind, these roles are ones on the small council or a high steward. ofc if this person already has that title then they just keep it

instead of “my lord husband” (example), the royal family would refer to other royal family members as “my royal husband” or “my royal hand” if the hand of the king is another royal family member

if a highlady marries a man then the husband does not need to change his house / surname, but if a highlord marries a lady or ladyborn then she becomes “Lady [name] [house surname] of House [husband’s house]”

the daughters of a head can keep their lady title if they marry someone with no titles but they hold little power

widows of a head may also keep their title but them and their children hold little power after the passing of their lord

nieces and nephews don’t get titles unless they’re related to royalty

children born to a lady and a non-lord do not get titles

idk if this is canon but in my head all dornish bastards are legitimized if they are children of any royal family members

the introduction “of House [name]” is reserved for royalty, great houses, and the head of a normal house. everyone else who belongs to a lower house is just called “[first name] [house name]”

continued from above and similar to the informal address of a grand duke / duchess, royalty and nobles and such are still addressed without the “of House [name]” but only in informal settings or after being addressed with their full title

i probably said this, but titles of all house members change right as fellow members or lose titles (examples: if a head of house dies before their siblings the siblings return to their prior titles, often lordborn / ladyborn if they were also children of the previous head. same for widowed partners)

IF YOU READ THIS ALL THANK U I AM FUELED BY AUTISM AND EGGO WAFFLES

[ranticore]

i ended up not drawing the fursonias beyond sketches but here's the #canon scoop on the characters' archetypes and what furry subculture they'd be into

Bowman: his fursona would be a cool dog (mutt) who wears boardshorts and Sun's Out Guns Out tank tops with the stupid big arm holes. The art style would be Baracore and the character's name would just be Dog. He would be at every room party at every convention doing kegstands and he's not too good at drawing but gives it a shot anyway. Every character he draws has dreamworks face. Inexplicably popular until the multiple cheating scandals make the rounds on twitter. 6700 followers

Islin: one of those guys who only cares about hyper realistic art of dragons with every scale rendered up and the super elaborate ref sheets. Art style is early 2010s Realistic Anthro Dragon, character name is something like Ryvraxys. Never draws characters wearing clothes or doing modern day things. He never made it out of deviantart. Used to rp a lot but kept getting banned for god moding. His art & designs suggest an incredibly active After Dark twitter account but there exists no evidence at all on the internet that one exists

Félix: it's a twinky red fox obviously. The design is painfully generic but the lore is insanely detailed, more than you'd expect from a character who's mostly drawn in suggestive poses. Character name is his name and the art style is Lion King core. Consistently gets into the most insane gay drama at cons but somehow he never seems to be the one at fault despite always being at the devil's sacrament too. Bad at drawing but the writing is good. 436 followers after he got cancelled for saying a slur at an unmasked illegal covid party (he shared the video himself)

Jean: fursonya is a violet starling with back wings who's always dressed in a steampunk getup, with top hat. The name would be something like Faraday. Art style is realistic coloured pencils, rarely digital. He always calls them "anthros" and refuses to associate with "furries". Has a €10k realistic resin-based partial suit with hydraulic wings, is openly catty about people in "cheap" suits. 12988 followers, mostly from ppl who like the suit.

Léa: fursoney is a sexy snow leopard with a ludicrously complex spot pattern, art style is Guy Who Says Fwolf Core. The character would be called like Esmeralda or something. She writes callout posts which are always a little too gleeful in tone. 1256 followers, she's got a high turnover rate because people follow her for good art but then she fills their dashes with vague posts like "some people really need to learn that doing kegstands isn't a substitute for growing a personality 😘💅"

Senca: her fursona is a hare which is always drawn feral and with a highly symbolic art style, lots of staring eyes and illustrated thorns and moon phases. She makes merch (read: dropshipping plastic waste) and sells at artist alley frequently. Not particularly interested in suits or anything. She's blacklisted from one really popular con and nobody knows why. 630 followers.

Olivier: yeencore bark bark bark bite monster wolf type character which is like a wolf but with spikes on the tail and horns.

[slocumjoe]

Gage with Sole that gets lost in nuka cola world? Like he doesnt pay attention to them for one second and they already wandered off and has no clue where they at "gage pick me up im scared and there are flying ants"

aka my experience being underleveled and doing the hardest areas of the park first :'D

Gage and Overboss's No Good, Very Bad Vacation In Nuka World

Realistically, Gage should have anticipated it. It's was a theme park, they were designed to be massive labyrinths with money sinks at every corner. The bigger and more confusing it is, the more likely someone will get lost and wander, and hopefully stumble into a shop or something. This is basic Capitalist Design 101.

Another thing he should have expected was that there were damn good reasons the other parks weren't already full of raiders, living the high life. Colter didn't do it because he was lazy; no one else did for fear of death. Gage himself never heard of anyone coming back from the other parks, that means they don't.

So, really, he should have considered it his own damn fault for not thinking about it, the first time he lost track of his shiny new Overboss.

That first time, it happened in that bottling plant. They went into a door, he followed behind, they went into another door, and another, and shit got weird from there when the soda river erupted with crabs.

He killed some crabs. They killed some crabs. He turned to see where they were killing crabs and saw jack shit.

It was then that he realized that the bottling plant was echoey as fuck, and he hadn't been behind them for...a good ten minutes, at least, just following noises that came from God knows where.

Gage didn't know the layout of the place. Neither did they. The fact that the river is just one line doesn't help shit, because there's employee tunnels, manufacturing, the rest of the plant. The plant was fucking big. They could have been anywhere. Whererever they were, there was more fucking crabs. And Gage, being a good underling who had to pull a lot of strings to get to this point in the first place, wasn't very okay with the idea of his boss being crab dinner.

So he hit the legs, backtracking through tunnels, the walkways above the bottling zones/whatever the fuck those were. Kept finding crabs he didn't kill, good start. Kept hearing gunfire, grenades, crab-screaming. Less good. Ended up back on the soda river (what the fuck was wrong with these people). Accidentally triggered every fucking pre-recorded line from the intercom, which drowned out the shit he needed to hear. At this point, Boss has been fighting for their goddamn life for twenty minutes, and the walls had started to melt into one big blob of samey-samey. Not even the sky was this blue.

Eventually, they found him, pursued by six hunters. He killed some crabs. They killed some crabs. He turned around, grabbed them, and was about to threaten to put them on one of them toddler leashes if they wandered off like again. But then a pack of Assaultatrons kicked down a door and they jumped in different direction away from the lasers. Ran down different hallways. Found more crabs. Killed more crabs, pursued by Assaultatrons. He knew Boss ran back into the river, because the all of Announcer Lady's lines were playing over and over each other, like the layers of hell condensing into a pure diamond of auditory psychology warfare.

Gage didn't notice when the chaos stopped, when the robots and crabs started dropping. It just happened and he had to take a breather, find his happy place. When he met back up with the boss, they were covered in stab wounds from stimpaks, used all their ammo and grenades, and thought that a suit of power armor made up for it.

The power armor did do well against the crab kings on the roof. It did not survive the Queen in the pond.

After this, he pulled them aside, told them to slow the fuck down and not charge through places like a drunk bull in a china shop. They said yes, Gage, I will definitely do that, and I will definitely proceed with caution and carry extra supplies on my personal.

They did, for their credit.

The Mr. Frothy's, however, didn't let that stay true for long.

Both of them took one step into Galactic World, and a fucking soda nuke dropped in between them. And again, they scrambled for different cover. Then a Frothy went after Gage, and the soda bomber bot went after the boss, and they had to separate again.

It'll be fine, he thought, I'll just kite around this corner that leads back into the main area, this wall is like three feet wide, this doesn't lead into a different level entirely.

It did.

Gage made it to the middling level of the Galactic Zone, every eyebot swarming like they wanted fresh meat or some shit, and the Overboss was running from the Nukatrons and a Mr. Frothy screaming about strangling them. Couldn't go the way he came, had his own robot fixated on asphyxiation behind him. Kept running. Then the laser turrets kicked on, and this was now an exercise in agility and being God's favorite.

When the robots patrolling the park finally all died, it was midnight, Gage was half-dead, had no ammo, and no indication that the overboss was alive, save Redeye's music playing at full volume somewhere nearby. Back to Nuka-World for supplies, sleep, and a nervous breakdown.

The next day, they took on the Vault attraction.

It seemed like things were looking up. Sure, the boss got lost looking for...what, stickers on the walls? Something with dumb bottle-cap glasses. But the robots were few and far between, the space was small and linear enough Boss couldn't wander off too far, and they made it out having not used all of their ammo. It was a good sign.

They went to the Interstellar Theatre, next.

Boss had the good idea to go in quiet, sneak around. They found an elevator up to the projection room, found a starcore, and figured that the area was clear, or at least mostly safe. They just cut all the power, after all.

The robots are motion activated.

Fighting turrets, protectatrons, Mr. Handy's in the dark was bad enough. But whoever the fuck put a sentrybot in a theatre, Gage hoped they went to hell.

He found the boss trying to drown themselves in a water fountain, when the last bot went down.

Back to Nuka-World for ammo, stimpaks, and another nervous breakdown as a treat

I saw a robot fighting ring, Boss said. The bots would have already killed each other in there, they said.

So they went to the Robco Battleground.

One or two robots, the rest were dormant. Thank. God. Boss found some starcores, some good loot, went into a door in a basement with robots.

The door shut and maglocked behind them. The pre-recorded announcer starting up the match. All those dormant robots in the basement woke up. On one side of that door, the Overboss fought for their goddamn life with a bunch of tincans. On the other, Gage did the same damn thing. When it opened back up, guess what they did? Yep, back to Nuka-World for stimpaks, ammo, and another nervous breakdown. And a shower, because flammable oil is not a good thing to be covered in, when using firearms. Gage heard the boss muttering and giggling about laser turrets to the plush toy sloth they picked up, and wondered if he would have to put them down out of mercy.

And then the fucking...Nuka Galaxy ride.

So dark. So big. So long. It was the longest attraction at that fucking park. Couldn't see your hands in front of you. Gage could have lost his mind in that section with the giant fake rocks. Found a lot of dead people who did, anyway. Once the Frothy's came barreling out from a hallway, yet again, the Boss went one way, he went the other. When they killed the bots, had to marco-polo triangulate their way back to each other. And then the area with the giant UFOs, and no lighting on the scaffolding. Who the fuck made this park? None of this was OSHA compliant, surely. You know what's even less OSHA compliant?

Laser turrets on EVERY FUCKING WALL.

Laser turrets on every UFO, every ceiling, every wall, every stairwell, every giant fake rock, laser turrets everywhere. Why? Why would Nuka Cola Corporation think they needed this many? Were they expecting two dipshit raiders to come strolling on through, and hated them, specifically? They weren't fucking ashing little Timmy for lifting from the gift shop, right?

You know what else sucks? Laser turrets high above you, in a pitch black corridor, where there's a drop just mere feet in front of you.

Boss didn't get lost in here because Gage grabbed them by the scruff of their shirt if they so much as leaned too far away. No, he doesn't care what shiny thing you see, you are staying within arm's length. Fuck treasure, fuck Galactic Zone, and fuck John Nukacola, or whatever his name was.

Gage never again let them get more than five feet away from him, after Galactic Zone was cleared, and the boss never again had to whisper hateful nothings about laser turrets to their sloth toy.

[fleetsonourgecentral]

Hey sorry for throwing this on you suddenly but aghhh I can’t take it anymore

We need to talk about Scourge coming in actual contact with Fleetway’s chaos energy. Sooner or later it’s bound to happen with all the batshit insanity that goes on that universe.

It’s so easy to say he would have a super crazed form much like Sonic’s. But there’s so much to possibly speculate because the strange way chaos energy works there. Scourge also originally absorbed master emerald energy from the Prime universe and I absolutely refuse to believe it just made him permanently green with a tiny power boost!

Some have suggested that Super Scourge would actually have a more docile gentler personality based on the fact Fleetway’s Evil King Sonic turns good when he absorbs chaos energy. So apply that to Scourge’s case. While everyone is relieved that he’s on their side, Sonic just gets pissed off ofc because that’s not his Scourge at all. Like okay he’s nice too nice, good, but give me back the green asshole I care about.

He could also possibly transform at will though rather than being emotion-based. (though it’ll be fucking hilarious whenever Scourge feels really happy and is just like aw fuck c’mon just let me be happy in the inside—super form)

He still wouldn’t largely remember what he did though when he’s Super (maybe exist as a voice in Super’s head at times) and Sonic bullies him for all the good deeds he does but is likely too flustered to talk about him at first

There can be still conflict to all of this because Sonic can never have it easy in his universe especially when it comes to Scourge. His Super form being aware of Scourge and often refuses to change back. The saving grace is that he could share Scourge’s cowardly traits, so Sonic goes borderline feral whenever this happens and scares his super form off 90% of the time. the other 10% is having the freedom fighters gently coax him to transform back/Scourge gaining back complete control. Over time he also could be mischievous with Sonic only and playfully mess with him in ways Sonic very much does not like.

or another scenario is since he originally absorbed chaos energy from the Prime universe, and is coming in contact with the corrupted chaos energy here, this might cause changes in him. Either gaining new abilities and power/ causing physical & mental imbalances/ (Scourge why tf are you acting like your Super sometimes—) / shares a deeper connection to the master emerald here that might lead to something objectively good or worse in the long run

but no one knows yet if transforming the way Sonic used to would apply to the other universes. He should be cautious. (Realistically, if Scourge has the will to transform, he wouldn’t even bother gotta keep that bad boy reputation he’s got after all.)

ahhh that’s all otherwise I think I might go on forever! anyway I hope you touch on this subject sometime again in the future, it’s so fun to see how you write them out.

Oh god okay okay okay you have given me MUCH to think about and I love it so muchhhh because I love to think about lore especially the lore of the chaos emeralds in the fleetway universe even if I usually never end up coming to a conclusion. Normally I try to only put my fics under a read more, but this got long so I'm putting it under a cut

Okay so you're absolutely correct that the easy thing to do is to assume the influence of the chaos emeralds would have the same effect on him as it did on Sonic, and initially, that was my knee-jerk reaction. The corrupted energy of the emeralds fucks over both Sonic and Kintobor, after all, so it's logical to assume they would do the same to Scourge. Outside of these two, the only other people we see under the influence of chaos energy are Chaos (which happens pre-Kintobor's tampering) and Super (who is made of chaos energy, and only chills out when he is drained of/disconnected from/doesn't use the powers of his chaos energy and immediately goes back to murderous the second he either uses the power of his chaos energy or comes into contact with the chaos emeralds) so those are all we've got to go on, and they don't provide a good track record. We know that in small amounts some chaos energy isn't immediately harmful - I believe the Power Rings in stc have very small amounts of chaos energy in them, and touching one of them didn't instantly cause Sonic to turn super - but if there's a build up, or just larger amounts, it rarely means something good. Following the pattern of what we know about the chaos emeralds and chaos energy in general, it is a reasonable conclusion that they would have the same impact on Scourge

A good point is raised about King Sonic and his reaction to the chaos emeralds, which adds to the evidence that the chaos emeralds may not instantly make Scourge's super form evil and out of control, but we're only in that universe for a little bit, and we don't get to see how chaos energy works in that universe. We don't know if there were any differences in Kintobor's experiments, for example - was he still trying to rid the world of evil by storing it in the emeralds, and were his experiments successful in this dimension? Or did he take a different approach and use the power of the emeralds as purification, instead of containment? - so it's impossible to tell if the chaos emeralds in that mirror dimension even work the same as the chaos emeralds in the main dimension. Not knowing if there are differences in how they work makes it difficult to know if the chaos emeralds in the main dimension would have the same impact on Scourge as the mirror dimension. Arguments can be made for both

What does immediately stand out is your point that Scourge absorbed the power of the Master Emerald in the prime dimension. I'm not too familiar with the lore of the chaos emeralds in the archie canon, but it's pretty safe to say it's very different to the lore and history of the chaos emeralds in the fleetway comics (they aren't fucked, for one). So the immediate question is: how would the chaos energy of these two different dimensions interact? It's tempting to say chaos energy is chaos energy, and that fleetway's corrupted energy would corrupt the chaos energy from the prime zone, but the chaos energy in these two dimensions presumably has completely different origins, so they might not even be similar enough for corruption to happen. Different wavelengths or something, the same way anarchy energy in Moebius is presumably different to the chaos energy of both the prime zone and the fleetway dimension. And if there's no corruption, how would these two very different chaos energies interact, or do they even interact at all?

On top of that, Scourge didn't just absorb any chaos energy. He got zapped specifically with the energy of the Master Emerald. So it's not just any old chaos energy, it's energy that can control and neutralise the chaos emeralds and their chaos energy. Whether or not Scourge can use that energy he got blasted with, that's still something pretty overpowered to be running through his body

So if he was to be hit with chaos energy from Sonic's dimension, how these two different energies interact - again, if they interact at all - could have a big impact on what happens to Scourge. Are the energies similar enough that the energy from the Master Emerald can neutralise the energy of the chaos emeralds that come from a completely different dimension? And if this energy can be controlled by the Master Emerald's energy, that gives Scourge a much better chance of retaining control over himself. Kintobor and Sonic notably got blasted with energy that grew unstable because they only had six of the emeralds, crucially missing the one emerald that controls the others. And when Knuckles has the emeralds, he can control their energy, even corrupted as it is, just fine, enough to put a stop to Robotnik. If the Master Emerald's energy in Scourge can do something similar, there's a very, very good chance he's not even at risk the same way Sonic is. It could very well just act like an ordinary super form

Or maybe the chaos energies are too different, and the Master Emerald's energy has no impact on the chaos emeralds from Sonic's dimension. From there, that could either be the equivalent to a negative chemical reaction, or nothing happens and the chaos emeralds continue to impact Scourge as normal. I'm leaning more towards the latter, because we see Scourge wield anarchy beryl post-ME zapping, and anarchy energy and chaos energy are presumably different energies, and the energy of the ME doesn't seem to change anything about the way anarchy energy influences Scourge, but the former is definitely a possibility considering the additional corruption of the chaos emeralds. It would probably look similar to what you mentioned (possible new powers, physical and/or mental imbalance, deeper connection to the master emerald, and honestly so many more possibilities)

Another thing that comes to mind is how the the chaos emeralds' impact Captain Plunder, when they temporarily absorb the negative energy of him and his crew. It's the only time I can think of we see the chaos emeralds impact anyone in a vaguely positive way, and is, imo, actually pretty good evidence to the idea that they could impact Scourge the same way they impact King Sonic. Of course, the difference here is that the pirates didn't (to my understanding) actually get blasted with chaos energy; they were just around the emeralds long enough for their negative energy to be absorbed, and the emeralds were retrieved before they could become unstable and blast the pirates with chaos energy. So maybe actually using the emeralds wouldn't have this impact, but again: if the energy from the Master Emerald can control the chaos emeralds, then maybe a side effect of using them without losing control might be the emeralds absorbing Scourge's negative energy; it's pretty safe to assume he must have a lot of it as an Anti Sonic, after all. It might not make a difference, again, because of the differences of Scourge having a connection to the prime dimension, not Sonic's dimension, but honestly, I don't think it would be a stretch to assume they would have this impact. To my understanding, it's pretty vague if this "negative energy" that the emeralds absorb is negative chaos energy, or something else entirely. So, up to whatever u wanna go with

Interestingly, this also means that even if turning super doesn't make Scourge mellow out the same way it does to King Sonic, just being around the emeralds and using them might. So Scourge might not even need to use them for them to change him, which... well, Sonic already doesn't have good associations with the chaos emeralds, so seeing them so drastically change Scourge even when he's not using them wouldn't sit well with him. As you said, he really, really likes Scourge, and he especially likes that Scourge is an asshole. The asshole is who he fell in love with, and he wouldn't take kindly to that being changed

His instinct is, of course, that the chaos emeralds will have the same effect on Scourge as they do on him, which is why he's so desperate to keep Scourge away from chaos energy. He wouldn't want to take the risk, and once they grow close, he especially doesn't want to lose someone else he loves to chaos energy. He wouldn't be happy about Scourge becoming "not an asshole" under their influence, but he's infinitely more terrified of them doing to Scourge what they did to him. Of course, there's no guarantee how long that will last. Like you said, Scourge is bound to come into contact with chaos energy eventually. It's just a matter of how much of it he comes into contact with. Sonic just has to pray it's a small, non-harmful amount

The tldr is that exactly how the emeralds and chaos energy impacts Scourge depends entirely on how you the rules work, and as there is no canon explanation for how these rules differ and thus would interact, it's entirely up to whim on how it would play out, and I am indecisive and like the sound of both scenarios lmao whoops. I enjoy chewing on these thoughts, because I like thinking about what the rules could be, and the results of these different rules. I like having options on how I want to spin things. So for now I haven't committed to one idea on how the emeralds would impact Scourge. That may change in the future, but for now it's a solid "whichever set of rules I wanna play with at any given time"

Okay fdhsdj now that I'm done overthinking the lore, I'm following up on the rest of your ask, because I also really like and am intrigued by the scenario presented here. I love the idea that Scourge can transform at will, because the interesting thing about chaos energy in Sonic's dimension is that it kinda... sticks around. Super is slowly drained, but he's made from chaos energy, so the rules are a bit different for him. And although Sonic comes down from being hopped up on chaos energy, we can assume there's still some in there, because stress can cause him to transform even when he's nowhere near the chaos emeralds or power rings. It's reasonable to assume that if Scourge used the emeralds, or maybe if he also absorbed a lot of chaos energy, there's a good chance it would stick around in his body too (maybe getting zapped by the ME also makes it so chaos energy sticks to him easier, if you want further explanation?)

And if it sticks around in his body, I think you could probably make a pretty strong case for Scourge being able to transform at will. Because although Sonic doesn't transform at will, I don't think Sonic really wants to. Why would he? His super form is destructive and has a very high risk of hurting innocent people and the people Sonic cares deeply about. The super form is an involuntary last resort, and considering the consequences that come with it, of course we won't see Sonic try to do it at will

You know who we do see use the powers of chaos energy at will, though? Super. You could make the argument this is an ability unique to him because he's made of chaos energy, but I don't see why it couldn't be an something Scourge (and Sonic, if he wanted to) could do. Granted, when Super used his powers he fell right back under the influence of the chaos energy, but if we're working under the assumption Scourge doesn't deal with those negative effects when he uses the chaos emeralds, then that isn't a consequence he has to worry about. So I think it's pretty reasonable to assume he could transform at will, because if Super can use the powers of chaos energy at will, why can't Scourge?

(That being said the idea of Scourge forcibly transforming because he got too excited or riled up or even too happy is a hilarious mental image that will delight me for the rest of my days)

Scourge would, however, hate that his super form is so nice lmao. It's hilarious how much he'd hate it. He'd be less reluctant to do it than Sonic if only because he doesn't have to deal with the same burdens Sonic does, but you're so right that he wouldn't bother to transform because he has a Reputation, and his super form threatens that reputation. Sonic had to wake up from every transformation going "oh god who did I hurt" while Scourge wakes up from every transformation going "what do you MEAN I built an orphanage with my bare hands??? This is the worst day of my life" and this is made worse by the fact the freedom fighters would not let him forget about any good deeds done while transformed

I LOVE the concept of Super Scourge refusing to change back, especially as it has a lot of weight to it. King Super Sonic's immediate reaction is to want to stay like that, and Super refuses to use his powers out of fear of becoming evil again. So it makes sense that Super Scourge in this scenario would refuse to turn back; his normal self is a horrible person, selfish and rude, why would he want to become that awful person again? In stc this is framed a good thing, because both Super and King Sonic were evil, but for Scourge? Becoming a nice person is closer to horror for him, tbh. For his entire self, the identity he clings so hard to, to be stripped away and locked up forever. Rendering him the same as any other Sonic in the multiverse, with absolutely no way to stand out. The idea of that happening - worse, of choosing to do that to himself - is horrifying to him. For once, becoming a "better" person is not the good option. It's the terrifying one

I also really like the idea that he shares Scourge's cowardice, and that is what ultimately makes him bend to the demands to change back. Sure, eventually Scourge would turn back on his own - super transformations are temporary after all - but if Super Scourge really was that reluctant to transform back, he'd search for a way to make it permanent, just like King Super Sonic, or at least keep it up longer. All it would really take is an extra dose of chaos energy from the emeralds to keep up the transformation for a little longer. So it's really nice that there's another reason he ends up transforming back outside of it happening naturally, even if the other reason is Sonic scaring the shit out of him and probably threatening to kick his ass until he transforms back lol. Honestly, in a way it's really sweet that Sonic loves his asshole boyfriend so much that he throws a fit over said asshole boyfriend becoming a nicer person. He finds it genuinely unnerving when Scourge isn't an asshole, and he hates that Super Scourge wants to say super, like Scourge's bad attitude is a thing that should be fixed. He especially hates it because he knows how much Scourge hates being perceived as nice or good or a hero, so watching Super Scourge act like he's better off this way upsets him greatly because he knows how much it would upset Scourge if he was in his right mind

As for headcanons about possible dynamics, I think Super Scourge would drive Sonic up the wall, mostly because Scourge becoming nice would lead to him, like, cuddling close to Sonic and saying lots and lots of sappy and romantic shit, and worse, being genuine while he says it. Sonic is flustered. Sonic hates it. That's not his boyfriend who says one thing and does another and only says nice things if it's wrapped in three layers of sarcasm and irony. He is pushing Super Scourge away and yelling at him to change back and stop trying to kiss him, stop being nice to him that's not how this works all while Super Scourge talks about how much he loves and appreciates Sonic. A kind of:

"You're beautiful" "HE'S LOST HIS MIND!!!! >:("

kinda dynamic.

(In the background, the freedom fighters are filming this interaction, and they will force Scourge to watch it once he's back to normal. Scourge will also hate this and is three seconds away from burying someone alive. He and Sonic silently agree to never talk about the incident, while the freedom fighters are committed to never letting them forget it)

[spidermanifested]

as someone who likes to think hes thought a decent amount about the story of fullmetal alchemist. aka every single day for the past however many years. the thing about the bafflingly prevalent contingent of people who insist that fmas politics are actually very nuanced and leftist is. that i honestly cant figure out what parts of it they even mean?

is it the part where fascism is defeated by war criminal "heroes" who insist that the best way to enact large scale change is to never directly challenge systems, but to infiltrate them and work your way up to the top until you can become the dictator yourself and then tell everyone that actually voting is cool. unless the whole world is about to end, in which case youre allowed to do One coup but then you have to lie to the whole country about what happened and go back to doing incrementalism

is it the part where fascism isnt interrogated realistically as a cultivated product of social unrest, stratification and bigotry, but instead was instituted by a Cosmically Evil Badguy, and all the imperialism and genocide was just kind of a byproduct of that, and if we beat that one guy then everything will eventually be fine

the part where the difference between a Good King and a Bad King is that a good king CARES about his subjects and a bad king DOESNT care >:( but even within the "we need to turn amestris into a democracy!!!" lukewarmly liberal moral framework theres zero discussion of the fact that maybe monarchies are also pretty bad. and the good ending is when the Good King promises to protect the oppressed ethnic minorities in his country but god forbid those minorities actually have any political power themselves

is it the part where the most oppressed ethnic minority in *amestris* is represented by "Religious Terrorist (But Sad)", "Terrorist's Dead Brother", "System-Loving Cop", "Old Lady Who Shows Up Once To Say Not All White People", and "Literally Gandhi. Look At Him Hes Saying A Gandhi Quote"

is it the part where killing people is the worst thing you can do, but if you do mass murder to civilians on behalf of a government but feel really bad the whole time you can still be a good guy, but if you do any amount of killing for any other reason or while feeling an emotion other than sadness youre a borderline-irredeemable monster, unless youre barry the chopper in which case it was funny so its okay (< the only part here thats true)

is it the part where the main character gains the respect of a member of the aforementioned ethnic minority by being racist to him. the part where a black girl has to get scolded by a white girl to realize that stealing is wrong. the part where the only major character to refuse to take part in a genocide is constantly called a coward for doing so by his epic girlboss hypernationalist sister and this is never really challenged. the part where the Sad Religious Terrorist gets guilt tripped so hard about killing 2 people while he was having the worlds most understandable panic attack that he decides hes fine working together with the guys who killed his family, because the System Loving Cop is so heroic, for wanting to do incrementalism, which again, is inherently moral

like the more i think about it the less i get it. this is the most milquetoast "bad things are bad and good things are good" status quo loving political narrative for 15 year olds on earth. where is the super relevant social commentary. because it feels like its just incredibly surface level "the bad guy is like hitler so the author is antifascist and based!!!" 2014 harry potter fandom type nonsense and its REALLY weird that it always comes from people insisting that theyre just that much better at media analysis than all the haters?? and that any criticism must be missing the point. what point. what is the point

[memberment]

DOES ANYONE WANNA PLAY A GAME??? (This is the post I was just yapping about.)

So we’re playing a game! Perhaps, if anyone wants to play! 

For reference, we have all gotten pretty used to me having one fic per day of the week, with exclusion of Sundays, bc I gen hate posting on Sundays. (I don’t wanna talk about it!<3) 

But. As of more recent months, I’ve shackled myself to behemoth fics that realistically, y’all would be waiting for new shit for millennia if I start posting shit in the order I’m writing it. So that’s just not gonna work! (I also do not want to be shackled to ao3 forever, but I cannot just write shit and leave it to rot in my google docs because I am not evil. Sharing is caring.) 

So without saying any more than that (bc I gotta leave y’all with some mystery), I would like y’all to help me narrow down this list of twenty to ten. (These are all of my open concepts that I’m willing to touch at the moment. There are a few more sprinkled about, but I don’t even wanna think about them rn.) I have listed titles, if I have them (if not, it's noted) and brief either descriptions or yaps. Literally just throw numbers of shit you wanna see or specifically think I should not be working on first at me. Do not care. Whatever floats your boat. <3

-

A Girl and Her Dog - Bebe runs into a lunatic and a dog while trying to complete a task (there’s actually a leak for this in my test fic).

Ca$h4Cultz - The main four accidentally manifest a god after starting a cult. (Again, leaks are in my test fic. This one might not be super long, but whenever I think about it, it makes me laugh really hard.)

Tweek’s Eclipse?? - I don’t have a title for this yet. It is literally Tweek’s story from Eclipse. Including the shit before. I’m not super invested in it yet, but the first chapter I did write kinda hits. There’s leaks for it somewhere in my slew of posts on here.

What Are You? (not sold on this title) - Tweek meets an imp after spending his whole life alone. He doesn’t really care if the imp takes his soul, but for some reason, he can’t. This aggravates the imp to no end so now he’s just dragging Tweek along to figure out exactly why he can’t take Tweek’s soul. (The imp is Craig. I personally think what I have written so far is fucking funny. It’s not gonna be good, but I stand by it.) 

Son Of Satan - Craig meets an imp. Or at least, that’s what the imp’s calling himself. (This is probably gonna be a fun nonsense piece with no legitimate plot and will probably get thrown on the trashfic pseud, but it will be fun. The entire fic is concepted off of one single piece of fanart I saw, if I can find it again, I will gladly share.) 

Untitled mind reader fic - I do not have a set title for this because I’m only two chapters deep. Basically, Tweek has to deal with some shit after someone starts reading his mind and decides to speak up. 

Untitled Horror Duo- Okay, so neither of these have titles yet, but basically, it’s two fics. There is the main story and the prequel. They both line up though in the way that I have the guides structured. These are so old, but I have like 30k between the two of them and I kinda don’t want to just leave that to rot, y’know? The main storyline follows Tweek who just entered high school after being locked away his entire life. He’s possessed by something, making adjusting to normal human life ten times more difficult. But still, he manages to find friends that care about him and want to help him, despite everything. And the prequel actually follows Kenny who’s had some close encounters with the something that’s possessing Tweek in the main story. I think this could be really fun. I remember being very deliberate about weaving these stories together when I was working on it and it was fucking ANNOYING!!! But it might also be really bad (I haven’t touched what I have since around March so I gen don’t know???), so I may assign it to  the trash psued. BUT IT’S AN OPTION!!! 

Three Kings Of Chaos - Chaos Inc. has three leaders. General Disarray, Major Mayhem, and Professor Chaos (of course). But being super villains can be complicated. Especially when their angel donor decides he wants to join in on the fun. (This will realistically probably not be very good. But, I find the concept to be very entertaining.) 

Then We Won’t (I’m not sold on the title) - When a kid gets outcasted for his powers, he makes an unlikely alliance. (This entire fic got concepted around the saying ‘The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’) 

Untitled Civil War Fic - Basically, C&F are all evil. The Freedom Pals are just trying to get their friends back. Just about every ship in this winds up getting thrown in enemies to lovers territory. Except for Butters and Bebe (and I personally think their storyline is fucking hilarious). 

New Beginnings Rewrite - I HAVE VERY LARGE IDEAS FOR THIS. THE OLD ONE IS STILL UP SO I WILL NOT BE ELABORATING.  

Human Island - (no set title) After the world is destroyed, humans are limited to a small chain of islands. But what happens when a scientist threatens to destroy the harmony they’d worked so hard to build? (This is loosely based on something and if someone were to catch it if I were to write and post this, I would lose my fucking shit. Like, I think I would be so happy I would, like, throw up.) 

Vents - (no set title) SOMEONE gets thrown into a psychiatric facility. Involuntarily, of course. They assume they’re just abandoned there to die until someone starts calling out to them through the vents. 

I might actually finish Stalkers (this is not the title but I’ve been referring to it as such since it got concepted). Heads up though. This one is trash. Like out of everything I’ve ever written, this is thee trash. It was actually the precursor for Leap Year in the sense that I wanted to write something problematic for the sake of being problematic. It will be on the trash fic psued. Like, I genuinely find it funny because of how bad it is. But I can’t recommend telling me to work on this, because it genuinely isn’t good and I stand by that. 

My Love Letter To You - There are not one, but two Professor Chaos’ in this story. How fucking wild. Wonder how that happened. This story is basically the set up to them fighting it out and what led them there. (I’ve been eyeing and fiddling with this for a while and if you read my end notes you can prob figure out when I started messing with this concept). 

Untitled Cartman and Kenny FP fic. - Okay, so this was actually one of my first fanfic concepts. Basically, Cartman spends a good amount of time blacked out. When the other Freedom Pals find out, they try to intervene. And of course, Kenny has something to do with it. 

Cntrl: Escape - I think this might genuinely be my favorite out of all of these. A group of people get elected to escape their “perfect” world. (There is a tyrannical ruler and AI involved. Also the opening scene rn is artist Tweek trying not to lose his shit over the AI art contests surrounding his block. I love it. This one’s prob Tweek centric, but there are six(?? I’m not checking my notes. Approximately six???) mains in this.) (There is also a tiny leak of this on my test fic.) 

Untitled Kyle Supersomething Fic - As states. Human Kite’s either gonna be a supervillain or a vigilante who does not fuck with the rules of hero society and does things his own way. Could be fun. Oh also, from the jump I have decided the bad guys (Kyle) win in this. Like, I feel like villains winning is severely lacking and I need to contribute to what I want to read because that is the entire reason I started writing fanfic. 

Untitled Evil Shed Fic - And our favorite gadgeteer superhero is not a superhero anymore. He’s much worse. Stan is irredeemable in this, or at least that’s where it’s taking shape in my head right now. This is prob gonna border on horror if not be straight up horror. I do have plans to make all of the people I really focus on character wise (that isn’t Butters, obviously) have their own villain fic at some point, but rn all I have buzzing around my little idiot brain are Kenny (which is done), Stan, and Kyle’s. (Wendy’s is also starting to take shape in my head, but not enough to concept it out yet.)

New Kid - A small town (South Park, obviously) falls into chaos when an alien stumbles upon them. This is New Kid centric without it actually being New Kid centric. I have been giggling about this concept since the idea graced me back in March when the warm weather first popped around and I heard the song ‘Trailer Park Alien’ for the first time. Which is exactly what this fic is based on. 

[zahri-melitor]

November Solicits:

Justice League Unlimited: look. I am unlikely to read this. But I'm glad to see they've got the satellite back.

Batman: I'm here for this (please let Eddie be having a good turn for a while, we are due for one)

Action Comics: between Waid and Tamaki I'm probably dropping back in to read this (and given Tamaki is doing a full set of Kara backups...is this the launch pad for a new Supergirl?)

Already planned to drop in on the new Catwoman and Nightwing runs and what's here sounds fine.

Birds of Prey: Very interested to see how Thompson keeps balancing this because she clearly wants to play with ALL THE TOYS.

Batgirl: I am excited, the premise sounds good. "Clutch your pearls" though...are we seeing the return of the bracelet????

Green Arrow: I know nothing about Chris Condon. I just hope he can pace a story better than Williamson (and realistically releases several of the characters back into the wild to focus a bit more tightly). Looking at his previous works it looks like he does horror? Which, hmmm, that would certainly be a tone pivot for GA as a book.

Flash: Irey's back getting attention, after Jai just had the whole last storyline!

Batman & Robin: PKJ definitely also looks to be pivoting this title and I'm not upset.

Black Lightning: oh I am definitely interested in this one, especially as it looks like they're finally going to actually do some work with the Pierce family again rather than just sort of handwaving that they're kinda sorta back where they were as of preboot.

JSA: ...goddammit I may actually be picking this up given the cast. Will at least test it.

Black Canary: yes of course I am reading it. I am trotting my ass down to my LCS and buying it and making considered decisions about what covers I want. It's a Dinah book, if I want DC to put out material that's actually about Dinah as a character not about Dinah-Ollie's-Girlfriend I have to support that. And as I said, it's already looking like it'll shape up to be middle of the road as far as BC solos go, so I don't know why everyone wants to cry so much; I'm getting a Dinah book and the premise doesn't include, so far as I can tell, "Musician" or "Let's Send Sin To A Monastery" (as she's actively being used in BOP) or "White Slavery In The Middle East Is Bad, Folks". It's got Dinah and Shiva in it. I just want to see my girls fight.

The Question: All Along the Watchtower: like everyone else I am currently staring at the "ad hoc support team" line and dreaming of the possibilities, 99% of which are so shatteringly unlikely.

Shazam: this remains looking so fun, the most reliably entertaining book being published by DC right now.

My Adventures with Superman: now I have only watched Season 1 so far and haven't made it through Season 2...but hah! Team 7! I called it! It made sense given the line up of opponents appearing!

Silent Knight: who let Goliath into this.

Jenny Sparks: want to talk about the ACTUAL Tom King title where I have no optimism and even the premise is awful? This is it.

The Nice House by the Sea: omgwtfbbq omg omg omg Max's group is encountering Walter's group omg omg omg god I am so hyped for this title you do not understand

[biichama]

Reading A Song of Ice and Fire: A Clash of Kings After Book Report

So yeah, I think I liked this one better than AGOT? Not that A Game of Thrones wasn't good--it definitely was--but I think George found a little more of his grove with this one. Also, I didn't have any adolescent reading trauma associations with it the way I did with AGOT, which helped.

Also, zero percent of this book took place in my number one least favorite location in Westeros, the Eyrie, so I have to give George props for that as well. Thank you, George. I know you're going to make me go back later because I'm spoiled from fanfiction, but the reprieve is appreciated.

Anyway, I promised another set of commentary on the POVs, so let's go.

Prologue

MAESTER CRESSEN YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME. But no, like, seriously, I think I mentioned this while I was liveblogging, but I am always impressed with how George can get you to empathize and care about characters over the course of a single chapter. And I do care about everyone on Dragonstone now--I care quite a lot about them. Mostly because Maester Cressen cared. His sad, sullen boy...

(I appreciate that Melisandre gave him the chance to back out, even if he didn't take it.)

But yeah, George did a really good job of making me care about Team Stannis, who I don't think I would have quite so much if he hadn't had Maester Cressen's POV and later Davos', so good job, George.

Arya

So first of all, I love Arya a lot and have since the very beginning. Her chapters are always very solid and she feels like a realistically drawn kid put in horrible, terrible, traumatic circumstances. And she's a really good person to view how much all the warring in the Riverlands is fucking it up for the ordinary people who live there.

I was surprised by a lot of little things in her chapters? Like I knew some of the broad strokes through fandom osmosis: Yoren dies along the way, she ends up in Harrenhall, she makes friends with Gendry, she meets Jaqen H'ghar, she develops a Kill List, Hot Pie is there? But the ways that everything happen surprised me. Weasel soup, especially, surprised me. I had no fucking clue that Arya would instrumental in getting Harrenhall back into Northern hands.

Also I was very surprised that the whole cupbearer thing only lasted a single chapter? I guess that's because I had the impression that she spent half a season as one on the show. Actually, the fact she doesn't get to Harrenhall until Arya VI surprised me too, because I'd had some vague idea that she'd be there almost the entire book.

Sansa

MY POOR TRAPPED GIRL. God, I also love her so, so much. Both Stark sisters are really good and you can't make me choose between them. She's just so clever and nobody notices it, because they haven't realized that she's not the same callow, naive kid that she was before her dad was arrested.

She's also very much still a middle school kid (as is Joffrey in the worst possible way) and it's enough to make some of Dontos' bullshit hella uncomfortable. Stop giving her slobbery cheek kisses, dude. Gross. Combined with the perennial weird vibes between her and Littlefinger and it's like she's just a magnet for older men being gross. Poor kid.

(I do not blame her for not leaving with the Hound, though, because he was drunk as a fucking skunk and like... that whole scene where she finds him in her room had such bad vibes and like normally he's the guy that I feel Sansa's most safe around, because his bark is worse than his bite with her. But not just then. I wouldn't have gone with him either.)

Tyrion

So like I've heard that ACOK is really the book where Tyrion gets his chance to shine as, like, a politician and yeah, I get it. He's very good and very competent at his job and it was delightful to see him be clever and tricksy and competent. He's a very fun perspective to be in, definitely, and I get why he's everyone's favorite character and George's special boy. Like okay I don't think he's my favorite? But that's nothing against Tyrion. I still like him a lot.

We get more Tysha context and it's so goddamn sad and even without the stuff I've been spoiled on, you could tell that she did love him, that it didn't matter how they met, because she did love them during the time they were husband and wife. Also, god, they were babies when it happened.

Speaking of Tyrion's girlfriends, I was really surprised by how, like, monogamous he was with Shae, because that is not the impression you get of this guy in fandom, but it turns out that when he commits to a woman he commits. And Shae's kind of blatantly in it for the money and security, but like you can see her getting charmed by him... but then TYRION X happens and he slaps her and you can almost see her mental gears realigning on him. Something deep inside her went fuck you at him in that moment and it's gonna have repercussions.

(Also, and I hate to say this, but while he's not in love with Cersei the way Jamie is, there's definitely some weird undercurrents in his interactions with her that make me wonder about the Lannisters more.)

Bran

MY BOY. MY DARLING BOY. I love him so much. And because I love him, I love Winterfell and all the people there. Like I've heard that people find his chapters boring and pointless and skip them on rereads and I'm like why??? Because Bran's chapters, where you get to know the people of Winterfell and the other people in the North are what make you care about them when everything goes to shit. They're what makes you want to throw Ramsay Snow down a goddamn fucking well.

So yeah, I liked his chapters. They were good. He is good. I hate Ramsay so much more now that I've met Lady Hornwood and she was a real person who was in love with Ser Rodrick and SHE ATE HER FINGERS BECAUSE OF HIM. GOD I HATE RAMSAY SNOW.

(Also the Reeds are great and I am looking forward to seeing more of them even as I am very much sad to be missing our number one feral child Rickon.)

Jon

So yeah, Jon's storyline remains a very good traditional Hero's Journey and I am enjoying it for what it is. I don't have as much commentary on his stuff not so much because I don't like it, but because it's just very much in genre? His stuff is where this is most like a normal fantasy novel, I guess.

I will say that, like, fandom osmosis fucking fooled me once again. Because I thought he'd be spending at least half the book undercover with the Wildlings and that literally does not happen until his last fucking chapter.

Catelyn

MY GIRL. Catelyn chapters always make me happy to read. (She's like Bran that way.) And starting from Catelyn II, her chapters also have Brienne, who I have been waiting eagerly for ever since I began to read these books, because Brienne of Tarth is half the reason I ended up tumbling headlong into this fandom.

(I went into it a little more in my previous book report, but basically after being somewhat traumatized by Bran II in AGOT when I was a teenager, I refused to read further for the next twenty-five years, until taking a chance on a P&P fusion fic with Jamie/Brienne endeared me to the pairing enough to read more. Eventually I gave in and actually started reading the books themselves, starting with Dunk and Egg to ease me into it.)

But yeah, Cat continues to be great and she also continues to not do shit by half, which is one of the things I like best in a character. Catelyn VII and the conversation with Jaime was a fucking highlight and I keep wondering what it would be like to read these books without being spoilered to hell and back, because the way that chapter ends. It's just good. It's so good.

Davos

There is only one problem with Davos and that it's so goddamn hard for my ex-Whovian ass not to call him Davros. Which would be completely unfair to the guy, since he's a good fucking guy and not the evil genius who created the Daleks.

But no, seriously, I really like and appreciate Davos, who is a decent, normal dude in the middle of this goddamn clownshow. I like his dynamic with Stannis, which is so good, and if you'll allow me to be Homestuck on main for a second... they're moirails, your honor, they're so goddamn pale for each other it's ridiculous.

But yeah, Davos is good and I liked his chapters a lot and that goddamn shadow baby scene will fucking haunt me, like what the fuck.

Theon

I suspect I would have hated Theon a lot more without being spoiled for his eventual fate and the things he did and didn't do. As it is, I read his chapters with the constant urge to facepalm, over and over again, because goddamnit, Theon. Like it's very clear that the dice were loaded from the start against this man and he's in a lot of situations where there's been no good options, but still. God-fucking-damnit, Theon. You made an already precarious situation just that worse. Also you made me have to read scenes with Ramsay in them and I really hate that guy. Go away, Ramsay.

Daenerys

Honestly, these were mostly pretty solid chapters? Like Daenerys III is less interesting than some of the others, but Daenerys IV and the House of the Undying more than makes up for it. Like seriously, that was such a goddamn banger of a chapter. I think it might be tied with Catelyn VII for personal favorites from the book.

Again, I definitely wonder what it would be like to read these books unspoiled, because like while I was extremely happy to see Barristan popping up in Daenerys V as 'Arstan Whitebeard,' I bet I'd have been even more psyched to be blindsided by it whenever it actually comes up in ASOS or ADWD.

That said, I can still appreciate a good reveal even if it's for something I knew about, so I'm not too worried. And being spoilered is like my emotional shield to prevent me from sadquitting over the Red Wedding next book like I did a quarter century ago over the yeeting of Bran. Speaking of which, I'm glad to be finally starting ASOS now, since it took me a couple days to write up this post, hahaha.

[baalzebubuu]

So. Why exactly do you think the head of HR would chastise and insult one of her bosses for doing something that, while risky, was the only thing that could be done at the time to keep Kronos locked away AND reawaken the Underworld? And WHY would they then treat said boss like a fool for being freaked out over her powers seemingly inverting when, 1.) her powers were working as they usually do up until spring, and 2.) there were few known precedents over what Erebos would do to those that make deals with them (i.e. as far as we can see, Hades didn't get his pre-king powers "inverted")? I understand that you have your gripes with LO (some I can even agree with), but damn, at least be fair with your critiques, and also maybe don't mock these characters for having certain bodily features that are often the focus of negative attention IRL...

(P.S. No Greek god/goddess would accept a nymph insulting them to their face like that - they've done far worse for lesser, and even indirect insults, and a nymph being the "Head of HR" in the Underworld OR Olympus realistically wouldn't save them from that wrath, ESPECIALLY if it's coming from the queens themselves; yes, I also saw your Hera post - Hera may be leery of Demeter at times, but she's far from being genuinely terrified of her (ep. 188 clearly shows this), and please remember that Persephone was in danger due to MINTHE'S jealousy over a damn tabloid photo, not Hera's (you know, the GODDESS OF MARRIAGE, who's allowed to play matchmaker if she sees chemistry between people since THAT'S ONE OF HER JOBS, and who also likely wanted to give Persephone experiences outside of the latter's sheltered life) decision to have Persephone intern in the Underworld.)

All good points! These comics are meant to be mostly skits just what the fans always wanted to say to the characters themselves so I don’t really take them seriously in terms of plot or any of that nature

Also I’m not really much for posting here on tumblr

But DW I’ll answer the best I can with some background lore I have currently in store

Originally Gunnarr was a Humble devoted loyal Mage Serving under Freya the most powerful revered goddess in the Norse Pantheon and they were sent Away under Mysterious Circumstances

And they’re placed in high regard by many connections with Justice goddesses due to their good behavior and devotion to them Which somewhat explains why they’ve gotten away with the BadMouthing certain scenes and if any god ever really does anything to HR Freya definitely won’t be too happy about it and would cause a whole dispute between pantheon

As for Getting away with badmouthing with Hades and Keeping him on his Toes HR and Hades have a very long history working for him for up to thousand or so years

HR and Hades Essentially had a relationship just like Bojack Horseman and Princess Carolyn

And HR essentially is completely done with his Foolishness and 99% of The Olympus Family

To the point of calling them out at with whatever legal problems the gods will cause as even if they DIE being called out HR gonna die knowing he was right and essentially their point proved

they don’t really care if they Die by Their hands

( till they eventually became nicer Because of their poly relationship)

As for the part about Persephone reaching That Tower because of Minthe

I was Planning on making a comic about it soon where HR talks to Minthe and gives her consequences but I never really had that much planning how to execute it right

As for how i usually draw Persephone I was mostly following along to how other creators were doing things, not much thought put into it

However that I will apologize for since i do admit they are in bad taste

Let me know if I’m missing a part that I forgot to explain

Edit: Also i am very sorry this post was poorly written I suck at explanations

And it’s the morning by the time I made this post and I’m heading to work atm

I very much apologize for this lackluster explanation