#he is 100% dead serious by the way
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corpus-chorus · 10 months ago
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I am sobbing, my extremely normie middle-aged brother just texted me asking if he could ask me an awkward question and then it was
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He wants me to contact the council of gays to cancel someone i'm
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rustchild · 1 year ago
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I am reading an ARC about WWI war poets and it’s kinda wild how the first three guys are like. 1. Beautiful rich asshole with serious mommy issues who writes two sonnets about how majestic dying for England will be and then dies before the fighting begins from an infected mosquito bite. 2. Batshit insane American who keeps writing about how happy he is to be fighting for the good of France even as his friends bodies are mangled on barbed wire around him. And 3. Dirt-poor Jewish painter who hates the aristocracy too much to get a patron, enlists because he has no money, and then writes about how fucked and stupid everything is until the war kills him
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tapakah0 · 3 months ago
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YOU DID IT WHEEEEEEEZE Okay without jokes I have been reading random stories and other stuff where everyone had like a family trauma or one parent leave or no parents at all and so on. And even if someone had a normal family they were sidekicks. That started annoying me and I was wondering if I will see in the future something like THIS. Another point to you WHEEEEEEEEZE I LOVE IT
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Part 15 :0
I think this is the last part of this episode ahahaha
In case you're wondering, Oscar's parents are happily married and absolutely in love with each other. All parents. All four. of them.
And he has three younger siblings he absolutely adores~
Previous
Masterpost Ref for their fucked up villain family tree
#HEEEREE IT GOES you mentioned another level of clown f*ckery and I'm here to absorb it heghgrhger#But this was a good question.. before he mentioned sister XDDD#Okay Ward sweetie sweetheart being considerable about other people's feeling and just over here knowing what Oscar is and protecting Holly#From Oscar XDDDDD#“Wh..” Ward c'mon he thinks rationally... it doesn't help for sure#ALCOR MY BABY *cough* Look at him#*inhale* Sea temple.... If I will have powers for detailed background work I really wanna draw teegardenians landscapes and sea temple#sounds so nice....#Wait-wait-wait what Ward is doing with his hair? And Holly reaches for it? Eh?#MMMM. Of course he has not a good family ha-ha.... Hard working and considerable and it comes from these problems mm#FINALLY MOTHER I SEE HER... and right after she look so... worn off? But still smiles... I think she was trying to be a good mother afteral#Ah hehehe makes something. HELP. Yep. Marmors are losers until adopted like Alcor#He is good I absolutely believe in it. No doubts /100% serious#ADHAGHSGAHGSAHSG celebrities divorces are everywhere on news always XDDDDD#HELP NOW OBVIOUS FROM WHO HE TOOK MOST. HELP HGDHWGHGHAGHGDSW . PAYING WAY TO FREEDOM#YESA SHADFGHGDHDAGHDA ALL COMICS ENEMIES TO LOVERS PROVE IT. I MEAN OF COURSE THEY HAD THEY BOTH KILL WHEEEEZE. I MEAN THEY ALL KILL#WHEEEEEEEEZE IT WAS HOT THE COURT IS DEAD ON FLOOR I CAN SEE IT. THEIR COUNTERS ARE AHDGHWDGHGDW#OH MY GOD ALL KIDS ARE F***ED UP IN A GOOD WAY I LOVE IT THEY HAVE THAT BRAINCELL IN THEM AHGHSGHGAS#AHDGHDGHDGHDGHDS THEY ALL LIVE TOGETHER CHANGE MY MIND#THEY DID WHEEEEEEZE OH MY GOD IT IS PERFECT DREAMS COME TRUE#OH MY GOD ALCOR. HE WILL SPEAK THANK GOD I WANNA SEE HIS GROWTH OH MY GOD#Holly.... don't ask... yet...#fav#HELP#marble sky
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katakaluptastrophy · 11 months ago
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The thing about having read our way through two previous books full of necromancers and weird eldritch shenanigans is that the absolute horror of what happens to John as a person doesn't quite register.
John's own glib, matter of fact narration tells the story as an apotheosis. He was doing great. He'd have fixed everything if only people had listened.
But reading between the lines in the John chapters, you glimpse something rather different.
John basically spends the first half of the Jod chapters sitting in the dark with his creepy yellow eyes, not eating or sleeping, literally stroking his favourite corpses and coming out with chill and fun statements about how he can feel their skin when he's away from them and he's 'waking up'. Cool, cool.
Passing swiftly over the cow dome, Presidential Puppet Pals, and the suitcase nuke, day to day life in the cow dome must have been fun... You're all on the Interpol watchlist, the Vatican is asking a lot of questions, the police are outside and John - who hasn't slept in a week and doesn't eat anymore and is probably wearing some kind of weird novelty tshirt - comes wandering past while you're eating breakfast, followed by a dozen silent, dead-eyed corpses like some kind of mother hen. He makes a cow joke, and then zones out because he got distracted by listening to the bacteria in your gut.
And then some guys die accidentally and it turns out he can eat death energy. So now he's got creepy Twilight eyes, an entourage of corpses, a cape, some very dodgy eyeliner, and he's barely breaking a sweat as he instantly kills over 100 people, says it was an accident, and then, dead serious, tells his followers to drag dead UN peacekeepers inside to add to his 'skeleton army'.
By the end, he's not slept or eaten in weeks, is tweaking his own bodily processes on the fly, is puppeting the dead US president and possibly an army of over a hundred corpses, monitoring G- in Melbourne, carrying on at least two conference calls, and helping to build barricades out of chairs.
And I just keep thinking how weird it must have been for his friends. How sometimes he would have seemed like the man they'd known and loved for so long, and sometimes he would seem different. Did they ever find themselves mourning the man he was? Did they ever stand there as he tuned into something they couldn't fathom, staring at them with those yellow eyes, and feel some awful, uncanny valley terror? Did he ever feel like he was losing himself? At what point did the cow jokes stop feeling like oh, classic John and start to be a reminder that his desire for vengeance and the scope of his powers were outstripping his remaining...perspective?...restraint?...humanity?
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maplesyrupsainz · 3 months ago
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙new fav wag | LS2˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: logan sargeant x williams social media admin!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none jus fluff
summary: in which the internet knows you're in love before you do
a/n: I STARTED WRITING THIS BEFORE THE NEWS DROPPED SO LET'S JUST PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED FOR NOW IM SO SORRY
request!!!: logan fic or smau where the reader is williams’ newest social media admin?? and logan immediately is crushing on her, and the fans are trying to speculate why logan is suddenly so smiley in a bunch of the clips and videos posted on the williams ig or doing a bunch of challenges on the williams tiktok page (and alex is totally laughing his ass off)
my masterlist
fc: annie.shr
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by logansargeant, yourbff, and others
yourusername bits & bobs 🫶
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user7 omg? how is she so gorgeous
user8 oh the garage pic lol so she's 100% the right girl
user9 wish i was her omg
user10 omgg. i'd be happy looking at her too 👀
user11 real. can u blame logan lollll
lilymhe prettiest girl!!
yourusername ilysm <3
yourbff im kissing you rn
yourusername i wish!!
user12 does she have a bf? second pic
user13 no one knows lol
user14 logan found dead
user15 logan in the likes too hehe he's down bad
user16 can u blame him
lilyzneimer miss you babe
yourusername miss u sm
user17 omgg she's friends w lily?!!
twitter ->
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messages ->
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instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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liked by lilymhe, logansargeant, and others
yourbff YESSSS got you all to myself
yourusername hmm, almost
yourbff boo party pooper
lilymhe wow
yourusername oh stop it you
user23 omg ruff ruff ruff ....
user24 so stunning omg
user25 i wish i was u
user26 logan found dead
logansargeant cant wait to relax a bit!
yourusername well deserved 🩵!
logansargeant thanks :) would love to hang out sometime if your free?
yourusername for sure i could find some time!
logansargeant awesome!
yourusername posted a story
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liked by yourbff, lilyzneimer, and others
user27 WOWWWW
user28 omg she's gorgeous
user29 wow wow wow
lilymhe omg wow. williams admin off duty is 🔥🔥🔥
yourusername HAHAH stop!!
yourbff meeeeowwww!!!!!
liked by yourusername
logansargeant wow. any chance we could turn that hang out into a date instead? 👀
yourusername HAHAH LOGAN
logansargeant ...well?
yourusername oh wow ur serious. well yes of course
logansargeant cool, cant wait.
twitter ->
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messages ->
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interview ->
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transcript -> y/n (behind the camera): so how was your guys’ two weeks off? logan: good! the rest was really needed for me, and you, alex? alex: well, we can focus on you for a minute still, or both of you actually! *laughs* y/n: haha very funny alex, i dont think people want to hear about my break though
twitter ->
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*accidentally messed up the user numbers lol but who rly cares*
instagram ->
logansargeant
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liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and others
logansargeant lil update
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user39 second pic?????
user40 HELLOOOO
user41 soft launch...? 👀
user42 love when he hangs out w alex omg <3
user43 love youuu logan
user44 this is sooo bf
alex_albon my guyyy
liked by logansargeant
oscarpiastri great race this weekend 🤟
logansargeant 🔥
user45 there's no way the 3rd pic was logan alone
user46 legit it's too girly
user47 y/n was here? 👀
liked by alex_albon
user48 HAHA alex liking this comment 😭
user49 lol he ships them so hard
williamsracing love the first pic 😎
liked by logansargeant
user50 no rizz
user51 she's a professional let her live x
yourusername posted a story
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liked by lilymhe, yourbff, and others
user52 OH MY GODDDD
user53 this is so logan
lilymhe why are you gatekeeping information from us
yourusername !!!!! dramatic. all in good time
user54 omg obsessed with this lil date
user55 love this sm
user56 soulmates a bit 👀
yourbff text us BACKKKK
liked by yourusername
messages ->
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instagram ->
lilymhe posted a story
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liked by alex_albon, lilyzneimer, and others
alex_albon just look at them!
lilymhe oh new love 🥰
oscarpiastri they gonna be mad at this
liked by lilymhe
user57 god.
user58 ME WHEN
user59 y/n & logan fr.
user69 confirmed much?
user70 if no one else got us i know lily muni he got us
liked by lilymhe
yourusername 📍 miami
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liked by logansargeant, lilyzneimer, and others
yourusername usa usa usa usa usa usa usa usa
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user71 GIRL WE KNOW UR DATING
user72 obsessed with everything about this.
user73 on god i love them
user74 she's just too beautiful
yourbff i love u so much
yourusername love u w my whole entire heart 💓
user75 the second omg yeehaw much
logansargeant 🇺🇸
liked by yourusername
user76 okay.
user77 you alr know he was fighting back the urge to profess his love for her
user78 he looks so good in the third pic omg
user79 hottest blondies in the world fr
lilyzneimer out of this world beauty!!
yourusername dont be silly you angel
lilyzneimer 💓💓💓
twitter ->
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instagram ->
f1wagupdates posted a story
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liked by yourbff, lilymhe, and others
user83 NO. WAY.
user84 OH MY GOD FINALLY
user85 finally some proof
user86 ahh not them being caught red handed 😭
user87 obsessed w them omg
user88 CUTIESSS AHH
messages ->
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instagram ->
logansargeant posted a story
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liked by yourusername, yourbff, and others
user89 LOGOATTTT
user90 omg points & hard launch all in one weekend i feel dizzy
oscarpiastri eventful weekend for you!
logansargeant 🤔 just a bit
oscarpiastri congrats you deserve it 💙
user91 HARD LAUNCHHHH
user92 y/n lucky charm fr fr fr
user93 u will alwaysss be famous
user94 LOGOAT IN THE POINTS
user95 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
user96 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
yourusername
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and others
yourusername okay fine have the hard launch!! 🥰
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user97 what a rollercoaster it's been
user98 SO HONOURED TO HAVE BEEN APART OF THIS JOURNEY
user99 how did he do it fr
user100 literally. spill the secrets logan
lilyzneimer most gorgeous couple!!!
yourusername no u xxxx
lilymhe pair of stunners
yourusername ly <333
yourbff MY ANGELLL ILYSM
yourusername love you love you love you!!!
alex_albon wow finally. i was in the trenches for a minute there
yourusername dramatic much? 🤨
alex_albon no? why?
logansargeant no comment from me
user101 oh to be in their gc
user102 too beautiful
user103 wow thts williams admin fr...
logansargeant new fav wag!
yourusername 🤨🤨🤨🤨
logansargeant lol! i love you
yourusername love you unreal amounts 🥹
THE END 🩵
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pretty-little-mind33 · 2 months ago
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FEM!READER PULLING HIS TIE!
(ft. aaron taylor johnson characters)
ask: The boys u currently take requests for and their reactions to reader pulling them close by their tie plz plz plz I'll worship you forever🙏🙏🙏
warnings: implied explicit themes
includes - in said order
~ James Potter - harry potter marauders era (yes ik it's technically a fancast but he's my baby)
~ Tangerine - bullet train
~ Dave Lizewski - kick-ass
~ Count Alexei Vronksy - anna karenina 2012
~ Tom Ryder - the fall guy
~ Pietro Maximoff - avengers: age of ultron
~ worship me forever you say? 😏 ~
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• James and his parents host plenty of fancy parties at the Potter mansion. They're always fun but formal, which means, obviously, James is wearing a suit and a tie.
• As his girlfriend, he insists that your dress matches his tie. He's very very serious when he says it. Like, dead serious. He'll pout if you don't and you find it slightly annoying, if not endearing.
• During the party, you'll mingle with your friends and have a blast. You and James don't have to stay connected at the hip, but he'll always check in on you.
• You'll have a few drinks, being slightly tipsy. James is as tipsy and he'll make a joke as you stumble towards each other, your hand fiddling with his tie.
• "You look like someone hit you with a bludger," James will giggle, his words slurred.
• You'll smirk and your hand tightens around his tie, yanking him down to your height, pressing your lips onto his and savoring his taste. He tastes like the expensive cherry wine his Mum adores.
• Obviously, this turns James on and he has to control himself from ravaging you in the middle of the dance floor because that isn't very gentlemanly of him.
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• Tangerine always wears his suit out. He has an assortment of suits, mostly in different shades of blue (to match his eyes but he'll never admit to that.)
• You love his suits because you find them sexy. He knows you love them so he feels ever sexier.
• "Stop starin' at me like that," he'll joke, glaring as he walks by you.
• He loves when you stare.
• Often, you'll use his tie to pull him places whenever you want him to follow you. The small gesture of dominance turning him on so badly. Tangerine is usually the one in control, but not this time 😉
• Tangerine will happily follow you like a puppy, being lead by his tie and Lemon makes fun of him, which only earns him a middle finger from his brother.
• Pull him in by his tie and kiss him? He's head over heels, he's a goner
• 100% secretly likes when you're in charge (you know this)
• "You like when I pull you around, huh?"
• He'll nod. You make him a mess and he can't bring himself to care.
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• Dave only wears a suit and a tie on special occasions and so because it's rare to see him in formal attire, when you do it does always make it extra special.
• You can't keep your hands off him and he's obsessed.
• "Mm, you look so pretty, Davey," you'll whisper in his ear, your fingers gliding over smooth the material of his tie (you'd helped him tie it)
• Dave's cheeks will burn a bright pink and you'll stroke some of his dark curls behind his ear, touching where his ears have turned pink too as your smile widens. You love making him flustered!
• If you're at a school dance, you'll be attached to his hip the entire time.
• It's your fourth dance and just as the evening dies down and it's his turn to press a kiss to your cheek, missing your lips by a little.
• You'll smirk and use his tie to guide his head so he doesn't miss your lips this time. The kiss surprises him as he blushes from embarrassment and also his overwhelming love for you.
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• Does Alexei wear ties or bow ties?!
• Well either way, there is always something to grab onto (😏) and because your favorite thing to do is help him dress before a night out, adjusting his cuffs and collar for example, you use it to your advantage.
• "Why do you have a cheeky look on your face, dove?" He'll ask, his blue eyes narrowing as his gaze then flickers to the mirror behind him to check his appearance.
• "No reason, my love," you whisper.
• There is a reason.
• Once you finish, you smile up at him and pull him closer, your hand wrapped around the fabric, as you kiss his lips passionately.
• When you pull away, his cheeks are flushed and he can barely form words. His hands slide down your waist and tighten.
• "Do it again, please," Alexei will whisper in your ear.
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• Tom is a cocky asshole. He prides himself on always being on top. But you being his girlfriend, it comes with certain perks.
• You have him wrapped around your finger as you push him against his trailer, kissing him roughly. Tom is loving the attention as he makes snarky comments between kisses.
• You grab his tie, the one he's wearing for his costume, and pull harshly. You bite on his lip, causing a yelp from him and a faint blush to grace his features.
• "Shit," Tom groans, his eyes wide.
• You'll pull away and tighten your hand around his tie. "You like that?"
• Tom nods and pulls you in for another kiss.
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• Pietro is always bouncing around, so to get him to stay still is a pretty hard task.
• You're at an Avengers party when you see him fidgeting with this tie in the corner, either anxious to leave or anxious to be here. You feel for him.
• So, you walk over and stand directly in front of him. "Are you okay, Pietro?" you ask kindly, watching him fiddle with the tie. It‘a quite badly done.
• You smile and pull his hand away gently. Pietro startles, his cheeks turning pink as he feels embarrassed. "Papa n-never taught me," he says, sounding shyer than you've ever seen him.
• "It's okay. I can do it for you," you hum and tie his tie correctly. "Why didn't you ask Clint?"
• Pietro would shrug, looking away. "I was embarrassed," he admits, looking even more embarrassed.
• He looks at you, his heart beat pounding so hard. Yours does the same, your fingers curling in his tie as you slowly pull him in. Your lips hover above his for a moment, hesitating.
• Pietro is the one who kisses you, finding his cheeky charm again as the embarrassment from the situation fades.
• "How long you been wanting to do that?" he teases.
• You roll your eyes at him, swatting his arm.
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ceruleanvermillion · 1 year ago
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hes so funny
I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.
#LMAOOOOO EXACTLY#“I am not debating I'm merely stating a fact” SIR#hes so funny#what a menace#he saves xiao and then goes#“huh”#theres a reason why he gets away with so many things#people think hes serious and “zhongli would never do that!!!” meanwhile zhongli lives for the crazy theories people come up about him#HE ACTIVELY LISTENS TO PEOPLE ARGUE ABOUT HIM#and then goes “no ur wrong actually” and also “the source: it came to me in a dream#yeah he has serious moments#but also im pretty sure 50% of him not bringing his wallet is intentional its not like hes actually in debt#But he would 100% debate neuvillette that “he cant judge the lord of geo because he's dead lmao”#maybe he has a lot of unresolved issues#but look hes like venti's best friend#but he gets away with everything that venti doesnt bc he dresses up nicer#He has a sense of humor and is also an omniscient deity with thousands of years of experience this is peak menace material#every bit of him acting like “oh woe I don't understand” was definitely at least a bit intentional#I love him#Zhongli is so unhinged#come on. he prepared a whole fake body and threw it down for his “fake death” like#There are so many ways and he chose to throw down a fake body#How many times do u think hes secretly pranked hu tao back and hu tao just. doesnt ever question zhongli#look hes had so much trauma let him be a menace#duality: having the craziest trauma and also the wildest most insane incognito shenanigans#LMAO REMEMBER WHEN HE LAUGHED AT THE QIXING GOING “rex lapis failed a divine trial”#zhongli: woah no way haha#I bet he would love to hear all the crazy origin theories people come up about him#and then be like “lmao thats nothing”#“dont be a coward go bigger”
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silvvermoon · 3 months ago
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lover, not a liar ♡
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Aki, your best friend, has agreed to teach you how to suck cock. But you need more than that.
pairing: aki hayakaya x reader
wc: 3.7k
tags: friends to lovers, slightly tipsy sex, dom!Aki, rough sex, blowjobs, pet names (baby, princess), calling u good girl, praise, slight dacryphilia, creampie, fluffy ending ♡
“Aki,” you slur, mouth wet and feeling all too warm from the drinks you’d had earlier in the evening. “Are you gonna show it to me or what?” 
You’re sitting on your knees and staring up at your best friend’s erection straining through his grey sweatpants which is, well, pretty unexpected. And definitely not how you pictured spending your Friday night. Aki’s above you, palming himself softly while you wait eagerly for him to teach you how to suck cock. And seeing him like this makes you feel hot. 
It wasn’t something either of you had planned on or even touched on before. You’ve never even shared a kiss with Aki, not a proper one anyway. You’re friends, platonic friends, and that’s all. But tonight, during your usual pizza and movie catch up, the stress of the week finally caught up with you. The awkward silence from your latest 3-month-long fling has been sitting on your mind all night and you just wanted to toss those thoughts all away. Get drunk, complain to Aki, and get distracted by whatever Netflix has to offer. 
Well, that was supposed to be the plan.
Except you forgot how much you overshare once you get a few drinks in you. And Aki’s not exactly 100% sober, despite him holding his alcohol a lot better than you. You never even did get around to ordering that pizza because once you were feeling buzzed enough, all you could keep saying was “and before he started ghosting me, that asshole complained that my blowjobs were terrible. Too much tongue, not enough suction, fuck. Like come on, I wanted to make it good for him but he never told me what he wanted until after, when he just threw negative fucking feedback at me. It’s so humiliating, Aki. Look at my phone! He gave me a rating like I was his Uber driver. Who does that? Who?”
And Aki had, indeed, taken a look at your phone, winced, and then handed it back to you. “I think you dodged a bullet with this one,” he’d said, “and don’t listen to it. I’m sure that’s the last time anyone will suck his dick for him. Even if he offered to pay.”
You’d snorted, laughed so hard that you almost choked even though Aki was dead serious. “But what if he’s telling the truth? Maybe I am shit at giving blowjobs.”
Aki looked at you then, softly, maybe a little bit tipsy too. “It’s the enthusiasm that counts, knowing that you want this so much is what makes blowjobs feel good,” he’d said, and then “besides, I’m sure you’re not shit at them, I’ve seen the way you eat your ice-cream. That’s some real devotion, right there.”
You giggled again, “Sure, sloppy. With no real technique.” And that was that. Your laughter died into  easy silence and Aki was prepared to switch the show on Netflix, until your tipsy brain got the sudden idea of doing something incredibly dumb.
And later, you blame it on the alcohol, you blame it on the way Aki’s too easy to open up to, you blame it on the way his body is so welcoming and relaxed next to you. Hell, you even blame it on Netflix for having absolutely zero worthwhile anything available to distract you from Aki and blowjobs and thinking of his dick while he’s literally right fucking there. You blame it on Aki’s face, which is clearly a weapon in both seduction and destruction on its own.
Nope, not your fault at all. Never.
And, you know all too well that being tipsy makes you act on things you would otherwise keep locked away in the back of your mind. You wouldn’t have felt this way if you hadn’t felt Aki’s own hot gaze on you when he thought you weren’t looking.
So, here you went.
“Hey, Aki, maybe I could… try it on you?” you smiled, face feeling hot from more than just the alcohol. “Can you teach me how to give a better blowjob? With guidance, you know? I mean, if it’s too weird you can say no.”
Yep. You said it. No take backs now.
“You want me to-” Aki paused, swallowing. And then he looked at you, maybe for a second too long where it felt like he was calculating too many things for one night to have. His cheeks were only a little bit red when he turned the TV off and said “sure, I’ll do my best.”
~
And that’s why you’re here. With Aki. Waiting desperately for him to give you permission to pull down his briefs. It should feel weird, awkward, maybe at least a little bit wrong, but it doesn’t. It’s just you and Aki and the growing heat between your thighs.
“Firstly, you’ve gotta open your mouth,” Aki says, and he reaches out with one hand to cup your jaw, thumbing at your lip. He hasn’t kissed you or anything, simply easing you down to the floor with a pillow to prop yourself up on. You open your lips and let Aki press his thumb in against your tongue, taking in the softness of his skin.
“Yeah,” he breathes. “That’s a good girl.”
You nod, humming. Aki’s voice makes your stomach tighten, the way he calls you a good girl. His fingers feel nice in your mouth, as do the ones threading through your hair, massaging your scalp while you lazily suck. 
“Teach me?” you ask, mouth still full of his fingers.
Aki grips your hair just a tad bit tighter. “That’s what I’m doing, but I need you to be patient for me,” he says, and then “we’re taking it slowly, making sure you know where to touch,” he takes your hand, pressing it to his thigh, “and where to tease,” he says softly, bring your other hand to rest against his erection. You can feel him, so thick and hard beneath the tight fabric. With Aki’s encouragement, you give him a soft rub, just ghosting your fingers over the outline of his bulge, keeping your touch light and without expectation.
“Just like that,” Aki murmurs, and when you glance up at him you can see the blush on his cheeks, eyes heavy. He’s turned on, and there’s something incredibly hot knowing that it’s you doing this to him. Aki’s your friend, yes, but you’d be lying if you said that you’d never been attracted to him.
And you’d be an even bigger liar if you said that asking this of him tonight was purely so you could ‘learn’. 
Aki reaches to pull his briefs down, swatting your hands away as you try to do it for him too hastily. “Slow down, what did I say about being patient?” he says. But your pouting turns to arousal as soon as his cock is out, all for you. Aki’s hard as fuck, his cock incredibly thick and girthy with a nice soft curve that you know would hit all the right places inside you. It’s gorgeous, you think, no, you know. You haven’t seen it before but fuck, you’ve definitely thought about it. At night, when you’re horny and tired and too lazy to look at porn, you’ve wondered what Aki’s cock would look like, feel like in your hands, your mouth, your pussy.
And from what he’s showing you, Aki doesn’t disappoint. His girthy cock is the most perfect shade of flushed pink that you’ve ever seen.
“Open a bit wider for me, that’s right,” Aki whispers, cock twitching when you say an over exaggerated ‘ahhh’ and stick your tongue out. His hips move forward gently, his cockhead resting against your tongue, dribbling small amounts of sticky precum on to your tastebuds. He tastes good; only slightly musky with a hint of salt. Way better than anyone else you’ve had in your mouth. 
“Aki, gim’ mor-“ you try to say around the cock in your mouth, choking off when Aki thrusts in unexpectedly. You automatically open your mouth wider, adjusting to the sudden fullness that’s about to hit the back of your throat. Aki doesn’t even move, just stays like that while your eyes tear up and you try to just breathe.
“I’m impressed,” he marvels, thumb brushing against your lower lip that’s stretched around him. “Just wanted to test your reflexes, pretty girl. Didn’t expect you to take me in so well,” he smiles, starting to rock his hips back and forth. 
You can’t do anything other than force yourself to relax, mind hazy as Aki’s thick shaft fills your mouth over and over again. You can feel the wetness beginning to grow between your own thighs, your cunt slick with arousal just from having Aki praise you for sucking his cock. It’s embarrassing. But it doesn’t stop you from desperately reaching down to rub at your clothed pussy while you continue to give him head. You need to rub yourself just to relieve some of the pressure that’s building in your aching little cunt.
Aki only pauses for half a second when he sees you do this, watches you hurriedly shove your fingers beneath the waistband of your panties to rub at your throbbing clit, and you know he must like what he sees because you feel his cock twitch hard against your tongue.
“Turned on?” he breathes out, which you both know is obvious from the way you’re getting yourself off so frantically. The sound of your slick folds squelching as you finger yourself is even louder than the gasps Aki lets out when he nudges his cockhead against the back of your throat. You choke every time he does that, eyes watering from the lack of air and from feeling so used , but your hand never stops rubbing your clit. No, you couldn’t stop even if you wanted to. The alcohol in your system isn’t even what’s making you so forward, it’s the fact that you’re just so fucking riled up from having Aki in your mouth, fucking your throat. 
Aki’s the reason why your panties are stained with a thick layer of your cream. Aki’s the reason why your pussy is desperately clenching around your fingers, pulling them further into your wet heat. Aki’s the reason why you’ve become such a shameful slut who can’t stop touching herself the moment she gets a taste of her best friend's dick.
“See, baby?” he whispers, pumping his cock deeper into your mouth, “you already know how to give a good blowjob, look at you, showing me just how horny you get from letting me use your mouth.” Aki murmurs all this while stroking your hair, his fingers in your scalp so he can hold your head still while he rocks into you.
It’s all so much, your own fingers in your cunt and Aki’s cock in your mouth. All of it feels so good and you know Aki’s meant to be teaching you how to suck properly, how to use your tongue, but now you just desperately want to feel his cock inside your pussy. You mewl around his length, stuffed full and barely able to breathe. All you know is you want him to pound you right now. Nothing else matters. 
“Keep playing with your pretty little pussy for me, okay baby? The view I get from here shows me just how much you want this.” 
And fuck, those words do something to you, because the knot in your stomach grows and you desperately add another finger into your cunt, twisting and rubbing against your sweet spot.
It’s not enough.
You pull back off Aki’s cock for a gasp of air. “Aki-” you breathe, spit soaked lips sore as you speak, “m’ fingers aren’t enough, need more, need you,” you sob. “I wanted to make you cum with my mouth but, I need- just, I need your cock-” you choke off. And it’s embarrassing how needy you are in this moment, but you don’t feel any of it when you’re this aroused. 
Aki grips your chin, soft but firm. “You need me to fuck this princess cunt of yours to make you happy? You want it that bad that you can’t hold out any longer?” you nod in response, still rubbing softly at your own swollen clit. Aki bites his lip, stroking your jaw, and says “Well, I guess you deserve it, since you’ve been such a good girl for me, taking my cock as deep as you can down that pretty throat.”
“Fuck, Aki, please yes that’s what I-.”
It all happens so quickly after that. You don’t get the chance to even say anything before Aki’s picking you up by the waist and urging you onto the couch, spreading your body out on the cushions while he looms above you. Your mouth is still wet with his precum, but Aki leans down to kiss you anyway. He presses his lips against yours for the first time, groaning softly into your mouth while he rocks his leaking cock against your bare thigh. It’s a stark difference to the control he had before when he was fucking your mouth, he’d been easy to talk no matter how deep you took him in, only letting out small gasps every now and then. But now? Aki’s moaning, soft little choked back noises just from kissing you. It’s hotter than it should be, and your only response is to wrap your arms around his back and pull him in for more.
Any other time you’d want to indulge Aki with more kisses, but now you just need him inside you. 
“Aki,” you murmur against his lips, “need you to stretch me out. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”
“You’re still so impatient,” he says, strong hands parting your thighs and pulling your soaked panties down to your ankles. “And you’re this fucking wet from just taking me in your mouth?” he says, swiping a finger through your slick folds, brushing your swollen clit and making you shiver. Your pussy is fully exposed like this, skirt hiked up high above your stomach while Aki settles between your legs, his length pressed up against your soaked pussy. You’re both leaking, and you honestly can’t tell if it’s your own wetness or Aki’s precum that’s making the squelching sounds when his cockhead slaps against your fluttering entrance.
There’s only a fraction of hesitation, Aki looking down at you with heavy eyes, “are you sure?” he asks, and “oh my god Aki, fucking yes,” you tell him. You’re really fucking sure because if he doesn’t keep going, you’re going to explode.
And then he’s pressing in. No prep. You’re so wet that you don’t even need his tongue or fingers to ease the stretch from his cock. Aki’s kissing you while he slowly enters you, giving you time to adjust to the slight sting of the stretch. “You’re doing so well, such a good girl for me,” he whispers, moving down to kiss your neck, nibbling at your sensitive skin there. “Knew you’d end up with more than just sucking my cock, you wanted this,” he finishes, bottoming out with his length fully stuffed inside your cunt. 
You gasp, whimpering into Aki’s shoulder while he nudges his cockhead against your sweet spot. “You knew? I didn’t- fuck, I didn’t plan it like this,” you choke out. The pleasure is hitting you harder now. This isn’t your fingers inside of you, this is Aki . And he’s pretty and strong and gorgeous and seemingly already knows how you like the shallow thrusts against your g-spot. “A-Aki,” you stutter, your body writhing against his while he fills you over and over again.
“You hoped for it though, didn’t you?” he murmurs, slow, shallow thrusts that stretch your tight walls around his length. The sensation is intoxicating for both of you, and your mind goes blank at the sound of his deep voice. Yes. He’s right. You wanted this, Aki fucking you, hidden behind some flimsy pretense of teaching you how to suck him off. He knows, you know, and now you can’t shy away from his lips against your own. You nod into him because there’s no point denying it now. He’s your best friend and he knows you.
Aki kisses you like he’s been waiting for years. And he has been waiting for years. It’s all tongue and teeth while he pounds your pussy hard and god you’re a mess. All you can get out is a gasping “I think I’m gonna cum, Aki, please, I need it rougher,” with your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head when he fucks you harder. You almost cry when the head of his cock bumps your cervix, it’s a mix of sharp pleasure and pain and you love it, your pussy letting out small squirts each time he rams into your cervix. Your hands curl against the fabric of the couch, trying to find some sense of stability while your body is getting pushed to the limit. You’re not even drunk from the alcohol anymore, just all love drunk from Aki’s perfect cock. 
You’re about to warn him, but Aki gets in before you, his voice raspy in your ear while he thrusts into you. “Yeah you’re close aren’t you, baby? I can feel your pretty little cunt clenching around me, so fucking tight for me even after everything I’ve given you.” And his words only make you tighten even more, your walls clinging to his shaft as you start to reach your peak. You cry out, moaning his name pathetically. All you feel is the warmth from Aki’s cock abusing your sweet spot over and over again, distantly, his voice saying “cum on my cock princess, yeah, that’s my good fucking girl,” and the sound of squelching while Aki fucks your gushing heat through the waves of pleasure. Even when you’re coming down, struggling to breathe, Aki keeps fucking you through the last of the contractions, making you twitch as your poor abused pussy gets overstimulated.
Your heart is racing and you’re entirely fucked out but Aki’s still hard, and more importantly, he’s still inside of you. He’s slowed down though, you’re aware of that much. You’re aware of how only the head of his cock is in your entrance and he’s littering kisses across your collarbone while he waits for you to come back to him.
“Was I too rough on you?” Aki speaks into your skin softly. He sounds almost apologetic, lazily thrusting into your heat while you hold onto his broad shoulders.
“No, s’ good, Aki. Felt so good,” you slur, breath hitching when Aki thrusts a little bit harder into you. “Want you to cum inside me, please Aki,” you pout with whatever sliver of energy you have left, and you’re well aware that he’s waiting for you to give him permission to keep going. As rough as he’s been, and as much as he’s pushed you tonight, you know that if you say you’re too tired, he’ll happily pull off of you and go finish himself off in the bathroom. You don’t want that though. Definitely not tonight.
“Yeah?” Aki nibbles at your throat, breath hot on your skin. “You want me to fill you up?” he asks, reaching down to swipe his thumb over your sensitive clit. He’s pumping into you steadily, and having his cock rubbing up against your g-spot while his fingers play with your small bundle of nerves is just too much. You can feel the heat building rapidly in your belly again and you almost want to sob. “I know, I know, but you’ve done so well, just one more for me,” Aki coos, kissing the wetness leaking out the corners of your eyes, and tells you “I really wanna stuff your princess cunt full of my cum, n’ I know you can take it for me, baby,” while he fucks you steady, urging you even closer than before.
“ Oh, fuck - yes, please, need it so bad,” you whimper, your second orgasm hitting you just as hard as the first. Aki’s words draw it out of you, your gushing pussy clenching around his cock while he groans and fucks into you harder, even rougher than before, pumping you full of thick cum. You love the soft moans he makes, but you love it more when he collapses on top of you, pressing his lips into yours and lazily kissing you while his cock slowly softens inside you. You feel full. And when Aki finally pulls out, still trailing kisses and little bites down your throat, you wince at the feeling of his seed leaking from your puffy entrance. 
You’re an absolute mess, and so is the couch.
“C’mere,” Aki says, tugging you up into a sitting position before pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You’re still dazed, and watching Aki move around the room to grab you a towel and some tissues is all too much for you. When he finally sits back down, he’s spreading your legs to wipe away  the sticky mess leaking from between your thighs. “I’ve wanted to do that for years, you know,” he says quietly, “I’m sorry, I kinda went all out tonight after you asked me to, you know- I didn’t know if I’d get the chance-”
You stop him, reaching out to hold his forearm and keep him steady for the first time tonight. You know you need to say it. “I’ve wanted this too, Aki. I mean, that is why I asked if I could blow you,” you laugh. You want him to know the truth, and you want to lighten the tension he’s holding over himself. Your chest clenches when he cracks a rare smile at you. You can't hold yourself back from tugging him into a tight hug, holding him so close that you can feel his heart beating against your own.
Aki’s so pretty. He’s always been so pretty. And now that you know what he tastes like, you don’t think you’ll ever be able to stop yourself from needing him. Wanting him. They’re the same thing in your world.
Aki sighs and leans in to your touch, pressing one last kiss to your lips. “Shower? I think we both need to clean up a bit, and I promise I won’t try to make you cum again once we’re in there.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” you smile. You feel so warm, being held by Aki. Your body feels wrecked but god, it was so worth it.
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boowritess · 4 months ago
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notsobaddasssoldier!reader who is kinda a cunt
reader who just doesn't give a shit about the 141 rank or title.
"you think just cause your captain of some lil task force i'm gonna bend over backwards for you? be serious."
"cool you're lieutenant...and.... anything else interesting? like how you think halloween is 24/7, or...?"
"oh so it's a big accomplishment you're sergeant at your big age? tell someone who cares."
you're just so... eh about their ranks. but they get some power trip when you call them said rank. makes them feel some sort of way that depsite your snark, you still call them by rank. showing the clear difference of inferiority and superiority between you and them.
till you notice and shut that shet down.
"your so fucking stupid. it's like if i met The Pope. I'm gonna call him Pope because he's The Pope. I still don't give a shit though."
"or like meeting a Doctor and calling them Doctor. I don't give a fuck that the persons a Doctor. I'll still call em it."
"better yet. hate the king. hate the queen. but i still call them the queen and king. because their dumbassary is just linked to their 'ranks'. if you keep annoying me the same is gonna go for you."
you have so much sass and snark that it becomes a truly humbling experience. and it's like - damn. they could put you over their knee and really put you in your place but reader takes things from 0-100 real fucking quick.
"you wanna what you fucking freak?"
"excuse me-?"
"you're so fucking dumb. get a braincell dumb bitch. do it and fucking find out what happens."
"shot me in the head and watch my corpse not give a fuck because I don't."
and when the guys get a lil too fucking serious about putting reader in their place. reader suddenly has a gun pointed at their face. you see what I mean by taking things to 0-100 real quick?
"dummy. really tryna fuck with me when we're surrounded by guns? fuck outta here with that bullshit."
"matter fact I'd just kill myself-"
"NO!" *141*
it's obvious you may be young and perhaps a little too mouthy for your own good but it's clear you're not going to be pushed around.
but it's obvious you ain't here for the 'greater good' and just doing the work to get the paycheck. while the guys find your snark to be really fucking annoying.
it turns out that you definitely have some perks.
you may not be able to hold yourself very long in battle, just a very basic solider with basic skill sets- your mouth and attitude can really work wonders on people.
in particular, the egotistical rookie who things they're all that. taking their sweet time with basic tasks, belittling other recruits who can do the bare minimum. just in general, an asshole. that's when you step in.
"you ain't shit bitch cause at the end of the fucking day turdface, you ain't bullet proof. i can shoot you right now, and all your running and yapping will cease to exist. your corspe will rot. people will stop knowing you as the loudmouth rookie, and you will just become nothing. infact. you are nothing."
*the recruit opens their mouth. you interrupt.*
"Nothing."
*recruit tries again.*
"Nothing."
it's an endless cycle that ceases when your hardened glare doesn't stop and you pick up a rock intending to throw it at the recruit. the blank, dead, serious look in your eyes showing you are more than fucking serious.
what really works wonders though, is they way you aren't worried about putting a superior in their place. the other 141 have basically been beaten in and to not question anything. they have been made to believe they are weapons more than human.
that gets shut down real quick.
you all have just come back from mission, that was grueling. a couple of you were injured. everyone looked worse for wear. dirts, scratches, blood. someone no longer had their vest. a few lost weapons. barely had any inventory. needing food, sleep, and then a long shower shower.
but instead waiting for the task force, was a superior officer, holding the next mission file. a mission they were supposed to be getting ready for and practically leave as soon as they got back.
before price could grab for it, you intercept. grabbing the mission file and throwing it at the superior officers face.
"you giant fucking anal peice of dried solid dog shit. we're not fucking doing that. we just got back from hiding in a fucking forest for three weeks with enemy surrounding us to get intel from a camp- THAT WASN'T FUCKING THERE. so you better turn and take those pretty polished shoes to another task force."
"what is your name, soldier?" *superior officer growls.*
"Dolly Parton. Now Dolly has just worked longer than a nine to five and Dolly ain't got the patience for dealing with a man like you. i got two bullets left. one for you and one for me. and if you think i won't do it- well we can put it to the test now-"
perhaps it was the utter dead look in your eyes, or the gentle yet seething venom in your tone. the superior officer simply growls and turns on their feet, leaving the task force.
it's funny cause you do get the respect, you are barely a good soldier but dang you can get shit done when need be. so price doesn't transfer you. he still keeps you close.
ghost is the one who loves the feral little shit you are. gaz and you talk mad shit about everyone on base. soap just absolutely adores you, you're the little sibling he's always wanted.
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a/n: inspired by the feral nature of gen z.
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mockerycrow · 1 year ago
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Talk About Sensitivity In The COD Fandom **Important.**
THIS IS NOT A DEBATE POST. DO NOT BOTHER.
Hey, everyone. After the reveal of Makarov in the trailer (as well as general concern), I think a chat about sensitivity is important. Since the trailer’s release, I have seen a major increase in simping for Makarov posts as well as genuine romanticization of Russia and/or Russian Soldiers. First, I want to talk about the romanticization of Russia and/or Russian soldiers because it’s seriously getting out of hand. I need you guys to realize that Russia is an ultranationalist country and yes, maybe not everyone who lives there believes what their government does, but it’s important to know a big portion of their population does. I have seen multiple posts and edits of this man right here (pictures below).
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THIS GUY IS NOT SOMEONE YOU SHOULD LIKE, AND PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU. This is one of the most popular Russian Soldiers amongst the internet due to the way he wears a mask, gear, has an accent, and is buff. He makes videos teaching soldiers how to kill people—innocent people in Ukraine who are just trying to survive. I have seen people straight up ignore when someone tells them what this man has done, so let me put it this way—he does not like you. He wants you dead. He is racist, a homophobe, transphobe, antisemitic, etc. He absolutely hates The West, and he does not like you unless you are a cis, straight, white 100% Russian. Even if you’re a woman, he DOES NOT LIKE YOU. If you American, HE DOES NOT WANT YOU ALIVE.
[This part is not targeted; just a general statement.] Second; there is a serious problem with how you guys address Makarov as a character. There is absolutely no problem enjoying him as a villain because I do too, but you guys have to realize that Makarov is an ultranationalist—which is exactly what Russia is right now, an ultranationalist terrorist state. “But he’s fictional, it doesn’t matter! it’s not that deep!” It actually is that deep. I keep seeing content for Makarov and I can’t force anyone to stop making “fluffy fics”, but I need y’all to have some fucking decency towards victims and people affected by the war. I know people who are affected by the war who feel ill seeing posts painting Makarov in a good light. If you are going to write Makarov, do NOT romanticize him as a character—do NOT paint him a decent or good light, because you can’t. Write him like the bastard he is. And no, this isn’t a “let people write what they wanna write�� situation. You can do that, but please be expected to be judged and blocked by me and many others. Makarov is quite literally the characterization of everything that is wrong with Russia, and what HAS been wrong with Russia. Makarov is not a bad boy, a rebel, etc, he’s a fucking terrorist. Please be for real. “But the military in general is bad, so why does it matter specifically around Makarov?” Please see above my previous reasons. Thanks.
The overall message of this point is to be fucking respectful. There are actual people dying and slaughtered for no reason other than ruined pride and a lot of Ukrainian folk seek comfort and distractions in the internet and their fandoms. This ruins it for them and quite frankly, sometimes how Makarov is being written? It’s completely insensitive. Anyway, below are a few links where you can directly support the efforts and the people of Ukraine. Peace and love, and please write with critical thinking.
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greyskyflowers · 3 months ago
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I have found there's very specific things I just really enjoy in fics about Edwin and Charles's romantic relationship.
So, I honestly just can't picture Charles anything other than very inexperienced at intimacy but so excited. Like a teenager feeling up his first girlfriend in the back of a car or under the bleachers. Excited, nervous, eager to please and just kind of in awe of being able to touch someone like that. He's got almost no idea what he's doing but he's 100% open and willing to learning.
I think he always ends up smiling into kisses, a little lopsided grin that's pleased as hell. He always offers a bunch of little encouragements and comforts You're doing great. I know it's a lot but I've got you. You feel good.
And lots of nipping, bites, and marks because no one will ever convince me Charles is not a hickey man.
Charles thrives on positive feedback and Edwin makes sure to always give praise.
Edwin is just kind of overwhelmed with intimacy. Being intimate with someone is a lot, especially if you haven't had it before and you've kind of built it up in your head.
So, I always feel like Edwin is in this constant closer no that's too close wait come back push and pull of anxious affection that has him leaning into every touch even though he's also trying to pull away at the same time.
Lots of bitten off noises, hums and gasps. He touches like he's scared he's going to break something or it's all going to disappear.
If they have to stop because it gets to be too much for Edwin, Charles doesn't ever look upset. He's pleased as hell to be doing any of this. He can't think of anything Edwin could ever do to disappoint him.
Careful, light, sure touches because the only intimacy they both really have is terrible. Edwin with the boys who held him down and hell. Charles with his dad.
I think Charles shows his love by loving someone and Edwin shows his love by letting himself be loved.
Charles wasn't able to show love to his family or his friends, who weren't friends at all. I personally imagine he had lots of girls he messed around with while he was alive with but it never went beyond that into something serious.
He can't show his love to humans, like Crystal, because it makes them look crazy. He can't hold a living girl's hand in public without her getting looks. They can't kiss or even talk with other living humans around without it being strange.
He can show his love to Edwin in a way he can't show it to anyone else.
Edwin is proud to be seen with Charles. He can talk and touch and be with Charles regardless of who's around. I personally like the idea that ghosts can feel other ghosts, as if they were living people or something close to that.
So, being with Edwin feels like he's with Edwin.
I just think once the ice is broken on what their relationship is, that he'd be all over it. Holding hands, quick kisses, hugs, sitting next to each other or all tangled together. Also a big fan of Charles coming up behind Edwin, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder to watch whatever it is he's doing.
Edwin didn't have close friends or family when he was alive, at least that we're aware of. Then he spent decades in hell where his only touch was painful, terrrifying, never ending.
Letting someone touch him, put him in such a vulnerable position physically and emotionally, is a big ask. That's why he's never done it or seem to have even contemplated it until he realizes his feelings about Charles.
He lets Charles touch him, and protect him, and know him more than anyone one else living or dead. It's easy to open himself up for Charles to love him.
I also feel like there's such a comfort level there that Edwin could say I think I'd like to try *insert action here* and Charles would be like yep yep we can do that or Charles could say I've always wanted to try *insert action here* and Edwin's like okay I'll find a book and read up on it with a fluttering of anxious excitement.
Do I also personally like to think bdsm dynamics, sexual and/or nonsexual, are present in their relationship? Yes. Absolutely. 100%.
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renranram · 7 months ago
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Is there any chance you could make a jschlatt x streamer reader 1shot where she admits she has a small thing for jschlatt on her stream because her viewers asked if she had a crush on any streamers she watches and jschlatt happens to be watching her stream because hes a fan of her🤭 i think its such a nice fic concept :))
Crush
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sfw
fem!reader x schlatt
basically the submission hehe
" chat, i am not smashing tommyinit, he's a child! " you roll your eyes as drag the photo of tommy at the 'pass' side
you've been playing smash or pass with your twitch chat for a few minutes now, ' but he's 20 now ' ' he's a grown man ' ' he's a grown man with a husband and a girlfriend ' your chat spams
" well... during my time, he was a child, " you reply, dramatically rolling your eyes as you lean back your seat, talking about your dsmp phase
" but in all seriousness, id still pass him, he's literally like my little brother chat, dont be weird " you chuckle as you scroll to the next option, wilbur fucking soot, you pause, staring dead into the camera
before dragging the thing's photo out of the frame, you let the silence sink in as you glance at your twitch chat
poggerina; o7
y/n4lyfersmwa; mb guys he got out of his leash
bhielatkiffy; WHY IS THE BRIGHTON BITER THERE 😦😦😦😦
you read as you chuckle, " ... anyways.. " you added, scrolling down as a tts donation caught your attention,
y/nsfavkitten donated $15, ' hello y/nn, just wondering if you had any small crush on an old dsmp member? ' the tts reads out
as you shift on your seat, " a small crush? " you repeat, before chuckling, " well.. if you donate another 100 ill tell you " you play it off as a joke
and continue on with the game, you put charlie in smash, ted in smash, jack in pass ( banter ), niki in smash, until the donator actually donated a $100, taking you in surprise
" oh my fucking god, y/nsfavkitten, i was just joking " you chuckle, " should i give you a refund? " you offer, not thinking it'd be serious
y/nsfavkitten: nononono but can you answer my last question? :3
you pause sighing out, before nodding, " for you y/nsfavkitten, fine, i did have a small crush, like a veryyy small crush on someone there " you confess as you can see your chat speeds up
akh1rah_1r: WHO
y/nluvsme: WHO???
jojosiwayouscareme: HELP WHO??
numberoneschlaggot: no way dont tell me you liked dream
" ewww " you squirm, chuckling as you shake your head, " ... i used to have a thing for schlatt " you confess
mitskimybeloved: AHH I CALLED IT
immacomebacklikeaboomerang: ship
renranram : Y/N X SCHLATT CANON FR
you groan out, as you chuckle, " guys dont make it weird " you mumble, a faint blush on your cheek as you shifted on your seat
meanwhile schlatt on the other hand wanted to do backflips, like genuinely, he was like a monkey getting excited over a piece banana
and he thought, why not shoot his shot,
@.jschlatt • 1 minute
same i ship it too, @.y/n'swebbie
↳ 11 ⇆ 9 ♡ 201
as you saw the tweet, your face turned redder like a tomato, chuckling like a teenage girl seeing abs for the first time
" chat, this is all your fault "
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bingbongsupremacy · 7 months ago
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Marry Me?
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
Warning: I haven't seen criminal minds in a bit so idk if the Spencer in this is 100 percent accurate
Summary: Spencer asks you to marry him at the most random time. Garcia does not approve.
*Not Proof Read* ABC List Criminal Minds
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" That's horrifying. " I wrinkle my nose at the sight of the bloody decapitated woman in the photos lying scattered around the table. This is why I work with Garcia.
Sticky notes are messily pasted onto the photos, illegible scribbles covering them.
" It is. " Spencer agrees.
" Why did you call me in here? " I ask, confused why my boyfriend called me in if he isn't going to expand further on the topic.
Spencer picks up a large Manila folder and shuffles through the contents. " I think I might have figured out the pattern we were looking for. " He pulls out a small stack of papers, each with the name of a high school in the corner. " The Unsub is killing girls from the same high school. Each girl attended the school at a different year. It's like he's going down the line of years. If I'm right, he'll been picking a girl from 2002 next. "
I scan over one of the papers he hands me. " Shit, you're right. " Excitement fills my body. We've been working on this for hours. He figured it out! " Spencer, this is fucking amazing! You figured it out! We need to tell the others. "
" Yes. I also think I might know who the next potential victim is based on other patterns I picked up along the way. " Spencer rambles on. " I think he might be going after Piper Johnson next, the woman we saw on the news interview. We need to check if she's okay. By the way, do you want to get married? "
His words come out so fast it takes me a second to process.
" W-What? " My eyes widen. Did I hear correctly?
Spencer is looking at me his gaze steady. He looks serious. " I know it's a little random, but this case really had me thinking. We don't know how much time we have together. God forbid one of us gets hurt or worse. I don't want to waste any more time with you. I love you and I want to be with you. I'd be the happiest man on earth if you said yes. "
For a moment I forget we're surrounded by gruesome shit. All I can think about is Spencer and our future. All of our plans.
A large smile makes its way onto my face. " Of course I will, Spence. I love you. " I smash my face into his, our lips meeting and immediately sending shivers through my body.
" I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much. " His voice rumbles against my lips.
" You did not just fucking ask Y/N to marry you in a room surrounded by dead women. Spencer, what the fuck. " A surprised voice interrupts us.
Surprised, Spencer and I pull apart to find the owner.
Garcia stares at us, her mouth hung open in surprise. " And you accepted his proposal? Are you insane? Don't get me wrong, you guys are perfect for each other. This proposal was just...so...gory. " She glances at the pictures around the room. " I'll help you plan out a real proposal, alright? Let's press pause on this until tonight. I'll have it all ready by the time you guys get back. " She says confidently, taking on the task we didn't ask her to do.
" It's really not that big of a deal- " I begin.
" It'll be done by tonight. " She says sternly, holding her hand up to stop any argument. " Now, you go let the others know what's going on with the unsub. " She points at me. " You are staying here with me while we set everything up. "
She gently pulls me towards the door, snatching the pack of information out of Spencer's hand.
" But-! "
She doesn't let me finish, swiftly kicking me out of the room.
Behind her, Spencer stand watching me in surprise.
Garcia shuts the door in my face, leaving me standing on the other side alone.
This day has been so confusing.
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koolades-world · 7 months ago
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Hello there! hope your day is going good and if not I hope it gets better.
I was wondering if I could request a scenario (you can do headcanon format) Where Mc is in a life or death because a lower demon is about to kill them and Mc actually kills the lower demon with their own magic. how would the undatables react/comfort Mc after they killed someone because their life was in danger.
Thank you in advance if you do decide to write and make sure to stay hydrated!
hi there! i can do that :)
hope you're having a great day too <3 just drank water with a liquid iv in it so hopefully im super hydrated now haha. i've had a bit of a sore throat for the past few days now so i've been really chugging water better than i usually have which says a lot! love me my 30 oz water bottle that goes everywhere with me
enjoy!
Undatables react to Mc killing a lower demon while defending themself
Diavolo
he's very proud of you but quickly goes on high alert
you've never seen him more serious
he's doing all sorts of things such as upping security measures and looking into the background of the now deceased demon to ensure your safety and to make sure there wasn't anything more behind the attack
he makes sure to give you a huge hug and lets you know exactly how he feels <3
Barbatos
if you hadn't killed them, he would've finished the job for you
since there's no work there for him to do, he'll be taking a visit to see that demon's relatives in the near future
in the meantime, he'll help you unwind and try to take your mind off it
perhaps a tea party with all your favorite treats and little d's there, if you'd like :)
Simeon
he won't ask questions and he'll heal you no matter what
even if you didn't get very hurt, he insists you stay under his care for a little bit
you'll get the best bedside care and soup ever
let him dote on you, it'll make him feel better too knowing you're safe in his arms <3
Luke
he's immediately freaking out
what do you mean a lower demon tried to kill you!!!
100% in tears and refuses to let you out of death grip hug he has on you
the next day, he gifts you an amulet with an angelic blessing on it and asks you to carry it everywhere with you. doesn't care if that means the brothers can't get anywhere near you now. better for him that way anyways haha
Solomon
he's very impressed!
gah they grow up so fast. it felt like just yesterday he gave you the nickname of his apprentice
deep underneath his gushing, he's worried but he knows that you're capable
even goes as far as to give a few little tips for the future. love at it's finest haha
Mephisto
he's furious with himself that he even let you get in that situation
he almost feels as if he's failed you, but he tries to hold up a facade of nonchalantness
it won't take much coaxing to break down this barrier and see how upset he actually is
if you notice him being extra loving in the next week or so, try not to comment on it but accept his affections
Thirteen
she's with you as much as she can be, but she knows it's just impossible to be by your side all the time
she's angry at herself and the now dead lower demon because that window of time when she's away is never very large
but, she knows you are more than strong enough to take care of yourself if it wasn't already apparent before
she'll make excuse after excuse to be with you until she eventually just spills the beans. she really cares about you <33
Raphael
he's gonna check you at least three times over to make sure you're alright
but right after he almost scolds you, in a loving way
he tells you he should've been the one to do it and that he should've been by your side
he was just very nervous he could've lost you, but is so proud of how you stood up for yourself <3
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ch3rrybite · 26 days ago
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marauders hc #1
listen, it’s canon that the Marauders invented “boys will be boys.”
like:
James trying to flirt with Lily constantly, but the moment she’s in a three-foot radius, his brain resets to “quidditch facts and random trivia.” imagine Lily’s face when he blurts out, “did you know a hippogriff’s wingspan is six meters on average?” like…that was supposed to be, “hey, do you want to grab butterbeer with me?”
Sirius has main character syndrome but, unfortunately, so does James, which means there’s an ongoing competition over who the main character actually is. Sirius once convinced James that “real heroes sleep with one eye open,” and James, dead serious, gave himself a black eye trying to test it. Remus had to stop him from giving Sirius a broken nose.
Remus is 100% the “tired single parent” friend, but he’s also the one enabling the absolute worst ideas. “no, Pads, you can’t set the quidditch stands on fire… unless it’s after the match.” Sirius: “that’s the spirit, Moony!” James: “right, I’ll bring the firewhiskey.”
Sirius went through a phase where he’d hide all the mirrors in the common room so people would “rely on their natural beauty, James,” and Remus would have to go around collecting them and putting them back. the whole house thought they had a poltergeist, but it was just Sirius’s weird way of getting James to stop fixing his hair every five minutes.
James and Sirius once convinced the entire Gryffindor house that “Moony has a sixth sense and can smell lies.” Remus played along, and the power got to his head for a bit. cue him walking around giving people advice like a cheap mystic, muttering things like, “the stars tell me you’re going to fail potions unless you stop stealing my chocolate.”
James would absolutely throw himself in front of a curse for Sirius or Remus without a second thought. Sirius would do the same… but with a dramatic speech. Remus would throw himself in front of a curse for them too, but only because “if I have to listen to you two arguing one more time, I’ll hex myself.”
the Marauders: heroes of Hogwarts, masters of chaos, and quite possibly the reason the faculty has a secret support group.
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