#he has that kind of rizz

[i-eat-deodorant]

yeet these baals I need to know

[WIP ASKS]

Before he departed for the surface world, The One Who Waits had given him a very specific set of instructions. 

Head to the dilapidated lighthouse rising out of the ocean. Talk to the keeper, and extinguish all the lights whether they want to or not. At nightfall, follow what remains of the pier, to where wind-scuffed planks are eaten away by the ocean. Drop a single heretic’s head into the dark waters. 

(Lamb had been all too willing to provide the head–they seem to have those in excess, he thinks, and all pretty fresh too. He can see why his mentor was so pleased with them compared to all his other vessels–under the thin veneer of civility was a war machine that followed unerringly like a sheep and killed like a wolf.) 

The waters were thicker here, his candlelight only glancing off the surface of inky depths. With the low fog shrouding the pier, he could barely see what’s beyond his own face. The severed cow’s head Baal tossed in barely made any ripples at all as it sank to the bottom. 

Now all he had to do was wait for this Teeth in the Darkness to emerge. 

Baal didn’t mind taking his sweet time waiting. To feel the wind against this corporeal body, taste the saltiness of the breeze and feel the solidity of his sun staff against his paws, all of it was a welcome reprieve from the stifling atmosphere inside the Gateway. He appreciated his master for giving him and Aym a second chance to prove his strength as his right-hand men, he really did, but when you died on the cusp of puberty, spending the rest of the afterlife with a dating pool of your mentor and your brother got dull fast. 

Perhaps he’ll lie about the negotiations taking longer than usual. Find a nearby fishing town, flirt with a couple fishing boys before the heretics come to chase him out. What his master didn’t know won’t hurt him, although there’s probably a reason he sends Aym on these kinds of missions more often. His brother would rather get things done, then go home and sleep. 

Small bubbles were beginning to rise up to the surface. The Teeth in the Darkness rose slowly, water like black oil sluicing off their hooded form. Baal gripped his staff tight, hackled bristling. The only features he could see of the Ravenous were his snout and smile, teeth unnaturally sharp.

-

Baal bared his own teeth. “If you’re already aware, then cut the pleasantries. Master has far more power than a false thing like you can ever imagine. Tread carefully, or your gullet will taste the full force of my wrath. Sate that ravenous hunger of yours once and for all.” 

Fox let out hissing laughter, like wind whistling through bone chimes. “Haha! Bold words from someone so tasty. Very well, a deal is a deal. What does he wish for?” 

“Protection. Clean up. Surveillance.” Baal unfurled the map he had on hand, tapping an unsheathed claw on the places he and Aym had spotted heretics in and being careful not to draw too much attention near the portal to the Gateway.  “Master still retains some influence over the southwest lands claimed in his name, but recently there’s been an influx of heretics wandering into his territory. My brother and I are becoming recognizable, and he needs more discreet methods of dealing with the infestation.” 

“More heretics? Would it have something to do with a certain Lamb who has been taking the Old Faith by storm?” 

“You know of Lamb?” 

“Do I?” He smiled. “We’re well acquainted.” 

baal is sent to strike a deal with the fox. the fox agrees, but has a proposition of his own. and what proposition is that? well my friend that is a mystery it's smut it's smut if you haven't guessed already it's just smut. i think baalxfox is an incredibly funny crack ship ok

i wrote this... right before the relics of the old faith update, which kinda invalidated all my baal headcanons after it came out. he's written as very pedantic and abrasive here, which was fine with the base game dialogue but fell apart with the introduction of the dlc dialogue. yeah. perils of having your lore invalidated by updates, i suppose.

[lowcallyfruity]

Sebepel to me 😍

[runraerun]

Billy with hanahaki disease ?🌸?

Pain!:’)

I love it! Here ya go🌸🩸

Fic prompts are: OPEN if anyone else is interested 💌 -> 📬

Tw; blood, slight body horror.

—

It started shortly after Billy moved to this shitty little town in the middle of assfuck nowhere. He chalked it up to the air quality being dogshit compared to California, or maybe he was allergic to that pungent smell of manure that the locals seemed totally nose blind to. The absolute last thing he would have considered was a goddamn plant had started growing inside of him–a love plant.

It was rare. You were only susceptible to it if you had a certain gene that you inherited from your maternal line. Lucky him.

Guess he can’t say his mom left him with nothing when she packed her shit up and skipped town. No, instead of a forwarding address, Billy’s mom left him her shitty, fairy genes. Thanks, Mom. Real swell of you.

“Has there been anyone you’ve had your eye on?” The school nurse asks, voice pitched low, gentle, like she was trying to soothe some kind of volatile beast.

Billy spits another mouthful of blood into the pan he’s holding, the crumpled up flower petals that he’d just finished hacking up look like chunks of his lung rather than a part of a plant. Runs his tongue along his teeth to try and fish anything out that may have gotten left behind in the carnage.

“No.” He says, stubbornly. He doesn’t look up from the pan.

“Well, Hanahaki disease can only take root under very specific circumstances. It feeds off a pheromone our bodies release when we experience a certain emotion; the stress of a love that’s unrequited. It’s the only–”

“I said no, alright?” Billy barks, voice still a little ragged from his coughing fit. Like he’d swallowed with a mouthful of gravel. “Get off my back.”

The nurse sighs, but she doesn’t move to stop him when he puts the pan down beside him and gets to his feet.

“It’ll only get worse if you ignore it, Mr. Hargrove.” She warns.

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Billy mutters, but he doesn’t have the energy to put any heat behind his words, so it doesn’t do much to wipe that stupid sympathetic look from her face. He grabs his jean jacket and leaves, shoving the door open with enough force that it slams back against the wall.

Despite his repeated denial, Billy knew who was responsible for this fucking mess.

Steve Harrington.

With his perfect hair and his stupid fucking Bambi eyes, lighting up every goddamn room he strode into with those long legs of his. Jesus… How could Billy ever have stood a chance?

Just thinking of him brought a tickle to the back of Billy’s throat. He suppresses a cough into his fist as he stomps down the hallway, now empty due to everyone else having gone home for the day. Except Billy, who of course couldn’t fucking breathe after gym class today after getting a little too rough with Steve.

It hadn’t been anything out of the ordinary, but something about the way Steve elbowed Billy away, how he barked at him to give him some breathing space, yelled at Billy to fuck off already—it had Billy’s chest acting up.

He held out for most of the class, fighting against the fucking petals that were pushing their way up through his fucking esophagus by beating at his chest, shouting to clear his airways, but then in the showers, Steve had avoided him completely. Had somehow managed to slip and out of the stalls without Billy noticing, depriving him of their usual naked back and forth banter that Billy had come to look forward to.

It was one thing for Steve to hate him, but it was another thing entirely for Steve to be indifferent toward him. That was way fucking worse.

The sting of rejection quickly turned to a coughing fit, worse than any he had experienced before. Like he’s hacking up a fucking lung. A few of the other boys had asked him, ‘you okay man?’ or, ‘should we get the coach?’, and worst of all, ‘oh shit is that blood?’

Billy was barely able to shove his legs back into his jeans and shoulder one of his classmates out of his way before he stumbled into the nurse’s office.

Fat lot of good that did him…

He’s gotta pick up Max. He can’t afford to hang around and talk about his pathetic, one-sided love with a complete stranger anyway. Billy leaves the school, gets into his car, puts the windows down and cranks the music as loud as he can stand it, and he tries very hard not to think about Steve and this ever growing thing that’s taken root inside of his chest, steadily consuming him from the inside out.

Christ, who knew he was such a fucking romantic…

[thatsrightice]

Iceman is the ultimate wingman both in the air and on the ground. Whether it’s hitting up the bars on port call during a deployment or back on base, he’s the one they want to help pick up chicks. He’s got a success rate that rivals his carrier landing grade, he can help even the most hopeless aviator laid.

It’s a great gig for a closeted gay man, his chill, no-nosense charm and charisma with the ladies provides a great cover, making his squadron mates none the wiser to where his true desires lay.

[souenkun]

I never stopped wondering why natori thought that gifting a happily-married woman a bouquet of roses in exchange of borrowing her adopted son for a weekend trip was the correct course of action 😭

[fabuloustrash05]

If you want to know which Ninja Turtle had the most rizz, Raphael has had an actual canon girlfriend in at least 3 different versions of TMNT and is also the only Ninja Turtle to have ever been canonly married.

[azureblooet]

Another opinion on who pulled who:

The Lamb pulled Nariander Nariander didn’t pull them

Let’s all be honest with ourselves

[seilon]

certainly feeling some things about the fact that simon. bullied edwin, yes, because he clocked him being gay. but not out out of hatred for him because of it. instead it was because he thought edwin was cute and felt sad and confused by edwin not paying attention to him. because simon is also gay. that is some beautiful and tragic storytelling and such a good way to come back around and give edwin some amount of closure on that chapter of his life wow

[one-vivid-judgment]

Never read the Spanish Kasuga-Eiji interactions y'all, they are fucking me up so bad and I'm only up to chapter 3.

Cause what do you mean Ichi calls him "Mr. Bon voyage" and as soon as he learns his name is Eiji he goes "Oh, that's a cute name!"

What do you mean Ichiban goes "You're my hero" and "You're the best" and "You really know how to cheer people up" and "I'm not good with compliments. But if you wanna keep buttering me up, then keep going!"

What do you mean Spanish ver doesn't use the Japanese honorifics so Ichiban just straight up calls him 'Ei' ("Your name's Eiji, right? That's where 'Ei' comes from!"). Also, I've checked out a scene from later on and what do I find?

"My Ei".

Honestly, how did Eiji even get anything done, I would've taken one look at his himbo ass and given up on revenge so fast.

[revon-aurora-borealis]

ive just realized that i may have a thing for hot blond villainous men

its just two tho (as of now) so prolly a coincidence i think

[ravenkings]

i'm trying to watch the new bridgerton season bc i need something mindlessly entertaining that i'm not too invested in and nicola coughlan is great but i'm sorry, the guy who plays colin bridgerton just Does Not Have The Juice

[starleska]

it started off as a joke but i think Sensei La Dew's pickup lines would unironically work on me 💀💀💀 do i need help!!!!

[wutheringmights]

On my quest of watching LOGH, I have finished episode 82 today, and have boo-ed my little hoo out all day. ;_; Thank you again for the recommendation!

You're already in 82??? Christ, it took me forever to watch all of LOGH and here you are powering through

Anyway, sorry that I introduced you to a guy only for that guy to make you suffer. Doesn't just thinking about him make you insane? Don't you want to chew your arm off? Don't you just want to go a little crazy???

[bakawitch]

About to reboot my yugioh sims world after a year and a half and add wicked whims to see what happens lol

[ruvviks]

thinking about nathan going insane going INSAAANEEE

[bruhstation]

this was supposed to just be a warm-up sketch but i felt like i had to color it.

enjoy. 💙

(also sorry for leaking your top secret gordon board 😔)

DUUUUUUDE

THIS IS PEAK JUDEA/GORDON INTERACTION. THEIR ENTHUSIASTIC EXPRESSION AS HE EXPLAINS WHY GORDON'S THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME AND WHY HE IS FATE'S FAVORITE RAGDOLL WHILE GORDON JUST STANDS THERE CONCERNED..... TIMELESS!

you leaked my top secret board. but seeing the content of my page and the things I've said about mr nwr 4 I don't think it's top secret anymore and thus won't be cutting the rope tied to the grand piano directly above you. thank you so much for drawing these two ollie.... judea and gordon in one picture..... hoooly moly THEY'RE JUSG ✌🇮🇹😄🇧🇪🎊🇮🇹🇻🇦🤯🇨🇭🏭🏢🏝🗻🏘🗻🇰🇷😭😭😐🥲😐🥲😶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🤧🤧🤧😢😢😢😢😢😊😊😊😊🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰A