#he has so many moments especially early on where he just has NO idea what’s going on

[kyanitedragon]

I'm finally watching The Original Series for the first time (after having watched basically every other Star Trek series) and man is this a fun trip!!

I know all the Trek lore from the other series, but amazingly I've managed to avoid the majority of TOS spoilers. And the few spoilers I do know, I have very little context for them.

And so, with that unique perspective, here are my thoughts:

TOS is equally so similar to and so different from the later series.

The lore, the characters, the set up — it's all the same. It's clear that Gene Roddenberry knew from the get-go what he wanted this series to be.

And yet the series is just so 60's. The dramatic music cues, the dramatic zooms, the over-acting in the fight scenes. Even the starship design looks so foreign to me — so angular and square and with so many buttons.

It's entertainingly frustrating to me how ill-equiped Kirk's enterprise is against inside threats. Kirk doesn't have a main head of security, and he rarely uses security on-board at all. The amount of times that people just waltz out of sickbay when McCoy turns his head, how so many antagonists straight up walk onto the bridge, the amount of times characters enter others' rooms without permission??

Kirk is so casual as a captain and I absolutely adore it. Voyager is my favorite Trek specifically because of how they all become a found family throughout their journey. And TOS has that from the get-go! The very first scene we see is Kirk and McCoy joking around on their mission — clearly old friends.

And it's not just his friends McCoy and Spock, but Kirk is rather casual and lax with his entire crew too. I love TNG and I love Picard but I was never a personal fan of how authoritative and professional he liked his ship.

I like seeing all the likely inspiration from these early episodes. There's so many episodes with mischevious god-like aliens, and I just know they had to be inspiration for Q. Especially Trelane, who literally put Kirk on trial like the very first episode of TNG. So many episodes revolve around computers wanting to achieve "perfection", which likely lead to the Borg. Especially Landru which had a speech that sounded a lot like the Borg.

And Kirk and Spock. Man, where to even begin? Obviously I knew people shipped them, but... Wow.

I'm honestly a little shocked that Trek did go more authoritative in later Treks. Kirk and Spock are just so close. Kirk is so handsy. They banter and joke back and forth all the time. It's so far away from the professionalism of any other on-duty starfleet officer in any Trek. And I absolutely love it.

Kirk and Spock start the show already friends. I had no idea this was the case going in, I thought episode 1 was going to be them meeting for the first time as Captain and Second Officer, the first day of their mission — just like all later Treks do. And I got so excited when I realized they were already best friends.

And I love how, despite already being so close, their relationship just evolves from there. For the first half of season 1, I thought they were cute, sure, and they had some moments, but I didn't see the big deal. But by the second half? Oh. Ohh I understand now. I get it.

And I love the consistancy between episodes. The show isn't serialized, it's episodic, and yet if you pay attention, you can catch little references and connections to previous episodes. Kirk mentioning he has a brother at the start of the season, and one of the last episodes is about his brother dying. Kirk learning that "half-breed" bothers Spock early on, and knowing to use it when he needs to get him angry in the last episodes. Just to name two. And I've poked around the fandom and seen you guys mention so many more little callbacks that I had missed.

Later Treks do a good job giving pretty equal screentime to their large casts. But TOS is so heavily focused on the Kirk, Spock, McCoy trio. It's not a bad thing, I love them together, but it just feels weird to me. Similar to the security thing, it also feels so inefficient and dangerous to have the Captain, Second in Command, and Chief Medical Officer on almost every single away-mission.

McCoy is so interesting to me. Later Treks tend to keep their doctors mostly in sickbay. But McCoy is almost constantly on the bridge just hanging out. It feels weird to have the doctor as a main character, but I had always wanted the doctor characters to have more screentime, so I'm definitely not complaining!!

And on a similar note — Spock is blue. He's the only Second in Command of all the Treks that wears blue and not Command colors. I've been so used to seeing barely any blues among the bridge crew, and now TOS has Spock and Bones both in blue and on the bridge near-constantly. I always wanted to see more Science officers in the main cast, so it makes me really happy to see it.

I've only finished Season 1 of 3, but already I have a feeling it's gonna be competing with Voyager for my favorite Trek series.

[sheikah-simp]

still editing exile//vilify and kind of in awe over how autistic i accidentally made astor

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 31: Proposal - Scarabia and Ignihyde

Characters include: Kalim Al-Asim, Jamil Viper, Idia Shroud (+ bonus platonic Ortho Shroud)

Word count: 1744

Kalim

Who proposes: Kalim

Kalim is very vocal about his opinions, and that includes his opinions on marriage. Ever since he was little, he was so excited at the idea of being married one day. The idea of finding true love and being intertwined with them for the rest of his life is something he’s fantasized about regularly. 

So when he found you, he knew his dreams would come true. You were everything he ever fantasized about and more, and he fell in love the moment he laid eyes on you.

From that very second, he began courting you, practically asking you out every day. At first you thought he was just playing around. Who would just ask someone out that much while barely even knowing them? Kalim. Kalim would.

Soon enough, you realize that he is, in fact, not joking, and you agree to go out with him. He’s absolutely ecstatic, and you’ve been happily together since.

Now, he’s planning to propose. Kalim is not very subtle about his plans, but it’s not like he’s trying to be. He’s very open about wanting to marry you. Pretty much everyone around him knows he wants to, and they’re more so confused about why he hasn’t already.

The truth is that he just wants everything to be perfect. Despite what others may think, Kalim is a bit of a perfectionist. He likes everything to be absolutely perfect at all times, a slight symptom of his people-pleasing tendencies. Proposing is a big deal, and if it’s not perfect, he’s a bit worried you might say no.

Part of this perfection is having the perfect ring. Kalim has one specially made for you, wanting it to be one-of-a-kind. It’s an amazing ring made with the care of the best craftsman he could find. Naturally, money was no issue, and he was absolutely willing to spend whatever he needed to ensure top quality.

Once the ring is finished, Kalim sets up the perfect date with so many things planned. He figures that, the more he has to do, the less he’ll be able to worry. Not that he has any reason to worry of course. You’re going to say yes. Everyone knows that!

The day comes, and Kalim wakes you up early to begin your activities. You spend your time going all over the city, going to restaurants and visiting the market. It’s all so much, and eventually you begin to feel exhausted. 

Kalim notices your obvious fatigue, and he immediately knows why you’re so tired. Instead of attending your next planned event, Kalim takes you to a quiet space away from the crowds so you can relax. Kalim feels terrible. He did so much to ensure today would be perfect, but he ruined it in all of his planning. 

After resting for a moment, you turn to him, gently holding his hand. You assure him that it’s not his fault. He just wanted you to have a good day, and you are. You’re having such an amazing day because you’re with your boyfriend, and you already know what he has planned. 

That makes Kalim perk up a bit, and in a moment of impulse, he kneels down and presents the ring. This is not at all where he imagined he would be proposing, but he couldn’t think of a better time. 

You smile, happily saying yes. He slips the ring onto your finger, leaning up to kiss you. You return it gladly, and when you pull away, you see nothing but pure love in his gaze. 

Your wedding is certainly an event. Kalim went all out with the planning, and considering his practically unlimited budget, he’s able to pull it off. The guest list is basically every single person he knows, which means there are so, so, so many people. You thought it would be overwhelming, but you had Kalim by your side the entire time, and that made it better.

Jamil

Who proposed: you

Jamil never once thought he would have something as special as a partner, let alone a spouse. Marriage seemed like such a foreign concept for him, especially one that was truly happy and not just for convenience.

Then you came into his life, and it seemed like maybe that concept wasn’t so foreign anymore. Suddenly, he was happy with a person who actually improves his life. 

Still, marriage seemed like something he was never meant to have. He’s nothing but a servant, not someone meant to have a fulfilling life. In his mind, you would be better off with someone who can give you the life you deserve. 

Somehow, despite what he’s told you so many times, you actually stick with him. Throughout all of his suffering and strife, you’re next to him, ready to show him that life isn’t all bad all the time. Not once have you ever considered leaving him, and you intend to stay with him as long as he’ll keep you.

That’s why you decided to propose. You know that Jamil will never propose on his own, still too worried about tying you down. Despite your constant affirmations, he still doesn’t fully believe you, so you have to prove it to him once and for all. You have to prove to him that you want only him, and you fully plan on sticking by him.

You don’t need anything fancy or over-the-top. Jamil wouldn’t want anything super flashy, especially for something like this. You’re able to find a nice ring that you think would suit him well. 

Your proposal is also very lowkey. It happens in the comfort of your own home. You and Jamil are lying in bed, and you debate doing it right now. The ring is in the drawer of your nightstand, and you can’t help but want to just do it.

Then, Jamil moves closer to you, wrapping his arms around you to cuddle, and your heart swells with so many feelings, and you can’t take it anymore. 

You ask for him to let you go for a second so you can grab something, and he does, watching as you reach into the drawer. He catches sight of the box and nearly faints right there. He must be seeing things. No way is that what he thinks it is.

He is quickly proven to be correct when you show him the box, opening it up with a shy smile. Inside sits the ring, and he stares at it as his brain processes what is happening. All his life, Jamil has been convinced he would never feel such happiness, and yet you continuously prove him wrong. He says yes, and you put the ring in his finger.

Your wedding is much smaller than initially planned. Kalim wanted to throw a huge wedding to celebrate, but Jamil immediately shot that down. He wanted something simple, with only a few important guests and nothing overly fancy. For Jamil, it’s less about the extravagance of it all and more about just being with you. 

Idia

Who proposes: you

Idia had no intention of ever dating, let alone get married. The thought was just not appealing to him at all. He had his 2-D characters and that’s all he needed. 

Unfortunately for him, you came barreling into his life and just completely wrecked all of his life plans. And, even more unfortunate, he’s not complaining in the slightest.

Dating was a bit of a challenge for Idia. He had to get past a lot of his insecurities in order to even admit he had a crush on you. Luckily, as time went on, he got more and more comfortable with you, and it became easier to just exist in your relationship.

Then the idea of marriage came up. It was actually Ortho who brought it up initially. According to him, you and Idia have been dating for a while, and this is usually the point at which most humans begin considering marriage.

You know Ortho didn’t mean anything by it, but poor Idia nearly had a heart attack at the mere mention of such a big step in your relationship. It’s not that he doesn’t want to get married, it’s just the thought of going through the whole ordeal of a proposal freaks him out. He’s seen so many videos of proposals going horribly wrong, and he’s afraid of embarrassing himself and you rejecting him.

You know about these anxieties of his, and you understand where they’re coming from. However, you want to marry him so badly, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. 

A ring has already been picked out. You knew he would love it considering Ortho helped you pick it out. It wasn’t anything too flashy, and it was perfectly him. Now all you have to do is actually propose to him.

Naturally, it happens in the comfort of your bedroom. You want him to be as comfortable as possible. The ring is in your pocket, and as you watch Idia game, you find yourself fidgeting with it. He wins the game he was playing, and he looks up at you with a smile.

Suddenly, it feels much too difficult to hold off any longer. While you have his attention, you ask him if you can talk for a second. His face immediately shifts to one of panic, and you quickly reassure him that it’s nothing bad, and he relaxes a bit.

You give him a whole speech, telling him how much you adore him and that he’s your entire world. Your speech ends with you pulling out the box, showing it to him. He nearly faints at the sight, but he manages to hold on as you open it, revealing the ring. You ask him to marry you, and he visibly blue screens.

Anyone else would see this as a bad sign, but you know it’s just him processing. Once he comes to, his hair and face both erupt with pink, and he stammers out a yes. You take his hand gently and slip the ring on his finger before kissing his knuckles. He shakily smiles back, still nervous but obviously happy. 

Your wedding is not a wedding at all. Idia straight up refused to have any kind of ceremony. You two literally popped into a courthouse, signed some papers, and were officially married. Ortho did come with you because he was just excited that Idia was getting married at all.

[spiceofvy]

heey i love everything you write and ive been trying to come up with the courage to request this scenario:

scenario/reaction to their s/o fem9th member!reader playing the pepero game with other member or maybe be challenged to play w/ a guy from another group?

i just love the idea of them being jealous on camera and not being able to act cool at all

SKZ - Jealous SKZ on a show

a/n: thank you so much for reqeuesting!!! please don't be nervous about sending me asks, i swear i'm nice :,) i was also really wanting to write some 9th member!reader for some time, so i was really excited to write this!

cws: fem!9th member!reader, reader is the maknae, fluff, some jaelousy, non toxic jealousy, reader having to do the pepero challenge with a stranger, mentions of sexism (Jeongin)

Chan: So we all know that livestream where he was super mad at staff right? That is him at this moment. He is so angry. He is such a protective leader and this is the straw that breaks the camel's back. It started when your stylist put you into a way to short dress. Which hem you've been pulling down the whole time. And this game is the end of his patience. He won't intervene during the show, but afterwards he will do everything he can to make sure that all of SKZ never has to do something like this again. He feels terrible that it even got so far, and apologizes profusely to you later.

Minho: No. This is not happening. He won't let this happen. After the MC read out the challenge he just starts laughing obnoxiously loud and fake. Making everyone around him give him weird looks. "No but what is the task?" He asks and when the MC repeats it he interrupts them and asks that question again. He does that until everyone is uncomfortable enough to just skip the challenge. He will get a huge lecture from the manager later but he doesn't care. Climbs into your bed at night holding you tightly.

Changbin: He gets so whiny. Making a huge scene. "No! Not our poor innocent y/n!" He is super dramatic and hugs you tightly. He turns all the attention from you and your challenge to himself until everyone forgot about it. Afterward, he gets cuddly, clinging to you the whole time, grumbling about the MC and the stupid game. Wants some praise for protecting his baby so well, and keeping her away from weird dudes.

Hyunjin: Side eye. He is judging the MC. He is judging the member of the other group. He is judging the crew. He is judging his manager who let you do this. He coughs loudly when you play the game, making the other guy flinch, breaking the cookie early, preventing him from getting too close to you. Afterward, he is cuddly, touching you through the rest of the show. Scaring anyone off from making you do anything weird for the rest of the show.

Jisung: He also gets whiny. And pouty. And loud. "We can't have our Maknae's Innocence be tainted! Someone protect heeeeeeeer!" He makes such a big scene, including: fake crying, clinging to you, and holding you back from getting to your seat. Does this until the only thing that goes viral is him being a baby instead of you almost kissing some random dude. Will cuddle you afterwards. No matter if in public or not. Maybe if he is really anxious that day this could also lead to him getting a bit insecure. Please hold him that night, he needs it.

Felix: He is not a jealous person. He's fine with you hugging Seungmin, or even falling asleep cuddling Jisung. He loves how close the group is with each other, you are a big family. But he despises how this guy is suddenly getting close to you. Especially with all those cameras on you filming your interaction. Offers to do the challenge instead of you. Everyone thinks he is joking but he is so not. The video low key goes viral, so many edits afterward. But he takes all the scandalous articles, if that is what it means for you to be comfortable.

Seungmin: He is such a bitch. Not to you but the other guy. When you pull away he loudly declares "He must have really bad breath when y/n pulls away this early". He makes everyone on set laugh about that guy. Behind the scenes, he gives him dirty looks. He is more jealous than he would like to let on. He is also very clingy afterward. Unusually clingy actually. This will start some sort of scandal but he doesn't care, for him this was all worth it.

Jeongin: Won't react openly. Just smiles along and buries his fingers in his clothes. Trying to hide his anger. Stares at the game making sure that the other guy won't get too close to you. Won't be very reactive during the rest of the show, just a little bit more touchy with you. He will be so mad after it though, making a huge deal of the fact that "they only made her do it because she is the only girl. That's so sexist." Which is very right actually. He is super protective from now on, letting no stranger get too close to you. Huge cuddle session later in bed, holding you super tight, still bothered about the situation.

[strrynigghts]

unexpected news

— könig x fem!preg!reader

— cw/tw: pregnant reader, accidental baby, potential typos, 3am writing, babies, established early relationship, reader and könig don’t live together, illusion to house!wife reader though she has a job, fluff(?), english to german google translate, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect! lmk if I’ve missed any!

— summary: y/n is pregnant with königs baby, and he finds out

— an: I apologise for my long absence! I’ve been on and off tumblr for a few weeks now. just have been busy and had major writing block unfortunately. I am officially moved into my new home, and my pets are a lot sometimes, especially with two jobs. I’ve been focusing more on life, rather than tumblr, hence another reason why I’ve been gone. this idea came to me when my bf and I talked about how many kids we’d prefer XD enjoy lovies :3

it was honestly an accident. you and könig got a little too into it one night, and the way you wrapped around him oh so tight, ugh. he couldn’t help it, ripping off his condom to stuff his seed deep in you, mumbling, “ich möchte, dass du die mutter meiner kinder bist, maus. bitte lass mich in dir kommen,” in german as he came inside, your eyes rolled back so far into your skull you couldn’t even comprehend what happened until you felt sick a few days later.

you’ve called out of work for the past week, telling your boss you have a bad case of the flu. but the pregnancy test in your hand had said otherwise. you were in fact pregnant, and you couldn’t help but slouch against the door to your bathroom, tears streaming down your face as you started wallowing in what only you could describe as self pity.

könig, ever the gentleman, bright you soups everyday up until he had a mission. but you wouldn’t answer the door, or his calls. you couldn’t face him. he was in the military for gods sake! he couldn’t care for a baby, and honestly, neither could you. your apartment was falling apart at the seams more or less, and you honestly felt terrible.

but it was on the second week, you decided to face könig and his coworkers. after a mission that went horribly wrong, you wanted to invite him and his team over. you made them their favourite foods, and even set up the table while they were on their way over. as königs girl, you honestly didn’t mind cooking for him, or his team. they were like his family, and you made sure your apartment provided them comfort when they couldn’t feel comfortable in their own homes.

when they arrived, könig was the first to greet you. “hello my maus,” he said softly, kissing you on the cheek before stepping further into your home, everyone else following behind him. they all sat and ate, while you messed with the food on your plate, your appetite not so much in the moment. you felt sick, so you excused yourself and dashed for the bathroom, bending over the toilet. “oh my love, are you okay? did the soup not help you? you’re still sick from before I left for the mission?” könig spoke softly, grabbing your hair so it was out of the way.

you kept lurching over the toilet, unaware that königs eyes locked onto the pregnancy test that sat semi hidden under a wad of toilet paper, his breath hitching as he glanced between you and the test.

“you’re pregnant?”

you whined, looking at him with teary eyes and a red face, nodding subtly. “I was going to tell you I swear! just wasn’t sure how you’d react. wanted to tell you when the time was right, könig.” sighing, you stood up, flushing the toilet as you looked at him as he eyed you.

in a flash, he pulled you into his chest, hugging you tightly. “I’m going to be a dad!” he laughed softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you back towards the team, shouting, “she’s pregnant! I’m going to be a dad!” they all smiled and clapped for him and you, saying their congratulations and whatnots.

you weren’t sure how’d this play out, but you were ready to go down this lane and see where it takes you, so long as könig remained by your side, and his team on the other, lending a supporting hand to you both when needed.

© 2024 strrynigghts | please don't copy, translate, or repost any of my works. reblogs and likes are encouraged however.

image credit here

[sashayed]

have you heard that jordan peele said steven yeun's character is the one that has the most in common with him. have you thought about how most of his cinematic career has been built around discussions of race and the traumas that come from racism. have you thought about how any media handling real and personal topics is a sort of emotional self-disembowelment on the part of the creator. have you thought of the glory and horror of being Seen. have you screamed

Have I? HAVE i. Have I thought about how Peele has discussed being objectified and tokenized on set, especially early in his career? Have I thought about what it's like to suffer real-life trauma in a space created for make-believe? Buddy, I haven't thought about anything else for days!!

I think one thing that makes this movie so visceral to me is that it's an exploration by a great popular artist on the human cost of making popular art. To me, the connection between Peele and Jupe is a link between the auteur and the cult leader — both are people consumed & defined by stories, people who are compelled by a narrative and feel an urge to spread that narrative to an audience.

And I am really impressed by how hard Peele seems to work to reject the cult leader in himself as best he can — to make art that enriches the lives of ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT. Every interview is about how collaborative and present he is as a director. Obsessed with this Q&A for many reasons but this moment sticks with me:

KEKE PALMER: There would be moments where we’re going through different parts of this script, this story, from when we first rehearsed to when we were actually on set, or when we had an idea that happened that morning. I would be listening, my head would be down, I’d be listening to what Jordan’s saying, I’m like, man this is deep. And I look up and there’d be just this one little tear falling. Man, this brother’s deep. JORDAN PEELE: I’m not afraid to cry as a director. KP: And he’s chill! He’d be like, “That’s what happens” and tears are falling. I’m like, “Are you all right?” But he keeps going and he’s like “Yeah, yeah. So that’s the thing.” And then he just walks out.

To me, that reads as a person who is NOT JUST super smart and deep and creative etc but who is also aware every moment of how lucky he is to be doing what he's doing, and who is not ashamed of his own reaction to that gratitude. What's to be ashamed of? It's incredibly fun! He is having an amazing time! He's hanging out with people he likes and respects and coating actors with goop in the esophageal tube! What a job!

I wonder if, to be that thankful and that aware (and that collaborative), you have to have experienced the flip side; if you have to have been Jupe, at least for a little while. I wonder if the process of -- to some extent -- commodifying your own suffering (as capitalism practically demands that artists do in order to survive as artists) leads, almost inevitably, to a moment where you think, "I survived this horror and became a Star because I am the main character of reality: I am more special than other people, I have a special ability to communicate, I have a special destiny." That is a powerful story and a seductive one, but if you don't leave it behind, it will eat you and the people around you alive.

It seems to me like an extension of what Peele is exploring in Us--the notion that your contentment is entangled with someone else's suffering. Why you? Why not the person with all your qualities who for whatever reason never ended up where you are? Especially for creators with marginalized identities, right? "Am I occupying a space that should belong to someone else?" You can avoid that question by deciding that you have special individual qualities that make you the Chosen One, as Jupe does. Or you can accept that the question will always haunt you, that luck (LUCKY THE FINAL HORSE??) has no logic, and you try to spread your luck out and open your space up to as many other people as you can. Which you see Peele doing all the time! Gah!!

[cookiescribble]

Flufftober Day 26: "I can't find it"

(gif source)

A/N: i had a different idea for this fic but then it got lost in the ether so uhhh have this instead. Happy almost halloween everybody! thank you for being so patient with us omg. These are gonna be a little out of order as we play catch up- mod ghost

Ship: Gale Dekarios x GN!Reader

Summary: The only reason Gale’s tower in waterdeep was even semi organized was because of you, but that didn’t stop him from misplacing even the smallest of things.

“Where is it, where is it!” Gale groaned, shuffling through his mess of a desk in the morning light shining down on him from the open curtains leading out to the balcony. It was early morning, much earlier than when you usually awoke, but the warmth of Gale slowly fading to the cooler room temperature shook you from sleep. So now, you padded out to find him scrambling like a mad man and muttering to himself. 

“What in the hells are you looking for?” You whispered with your voice rough from sleep, gently resting your hand on his shoulder now that you were close enough to touch him. It had apparently startled him, though, since he was so entranced by his search that he didn’t hear you approach. “By Mystra’s eyelashes, when did you get over here?” He exclaimed, clutching his chest like a grandmother with her pearls which made you giggle uncontrollably.

You shook your head at him, gently brushing a strand of hair away that had fallen into his eyes. “I’ll answer your question when you answer mine.”

“Oh—I was looking for one of the grimoires that I needed to take to the academy with me. I’m not…entirely sure where it may have run off to.” Gale scratched at his head while he spoke, looking past you and around the room until you cupped his cheeks which made him stop entirely. 

“Alright, take a deep breath, and then describe the book and then we can look for it together, yeah?” You suggested, to which he nodded while taking a slow and deep inhale. For a moment, he let himself savor the feeling of your touch on his face and the gentle silence of the room. Sometimes, he desperately needed a second or two to just breathe, especially when he’d gotten himself worked into a frenzy. You knew that about him, as well as the fact that he wouldn’t be the one to do it himself, so this was a simple way to sort of reset him, for lack of a better term. Gently forcing him to slow down and think. 

Gale’s dark brown eyes slowly opened again as he sighed just before speaking again. “This…may come as quite the surprise to you, but the book is leather bound.” Before you could comment on just how many leather bound books the wizard owned, a smirk cracked his face and made you realize he wasn’t quite finished talking yet. 

“Right, go on,” You playfully rolled your eyes at him, turning around in his hold to set your sights on the room before you as you felt his hands slide across your waist. His arms then settled around your waist as his chin came to rest upon your shoulder while he continued to speak.

“The front cover also has an engraving of a rose on the front, with ancient runes scrawled underneath.” You could almost picture the book in your mind as he described it, as it was one he carried with him most days. 

After a moment of careful consideration and a thorough glance at the room, you put your hand over his arm that was around your waist before speaking, “…My love, have you checked your study? You usually take it in there after a full day of teaching at Blackstaff.” You asked, turning your head just enough to look at him. 

Without another word, his face scrunched in concentration as he whisked off to the study a few feet away. A few moments later, though, he emerged once more with a wide grin on his face as he held the book over his head, clearly victorious. 

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Gale gave a wistful sigh as he approached, his arms once again looping around you. 

“Once or twice, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it again,” you chuckled, your own arms encircling his neck to pull him ever closer as he kissed you. 

Gale let out a laugh of his own as he pulled away, “I love you.” The way he said it always felt like he was falling for you all over again, like you hadn’t been married for over a year. 

“I love you, too, you goofy wizard you.” You teased him lightly, leaning your forehead against his. 

“Goofy?? You make your husband sound like some sort of loon!” He sounded incredulous, but the smile on his face told you all you needed to know about how he felt when you said that. 

“Yes, but you’re my loon, which is why I’m allowed to say such things.” You grinned mischievously, though quickly distracted as he gave you another short yet sweet kiss before rushing off toward the academy with a promise of returning home later. 

[sammaggs]

4x02 Easy Money // 3x01 Burning Down the House // 3x02 Eclipse | Rift

Something that always strikes me about Ray's moment of reconciliation with his father (in a show that might as well be subtitled Fathers Kinda Suck Huh???????) is the way this scene in particular is shot.

They focus especially on Ray's bracelet as he extends his hand:

Which isn't the only time they've focused on Ray's bracelet during Important Character Building. There's of course, his intro in Burning Down the House,

The close-up on the similarity with Marcus Ellory's bracelet in Eclipse,

And a bunch of other moments over seasons 3 and 4 that basically use the bracelet as a quick visual stand-in for "Ray Kowalski's a little bit different."

It’s something Ray Vecchio would never wear; hell, it's something most cops would never wear. It's a little bit, as Ray Kowalski would say, queer.

And so is Ray Kowalski.

The decision to focus on this bracelet during the exact moment he offers his hand to Damian as a peace offering is therefore, to me, worth considering. I personally read this as an indicator that part of the reason for Ray's rift with his father was his queerness.

And the first thing Damian says to Ray after they shake hands?

He compliments Ray’s experimental hair! He mentions another “queer” element of Ray’s physical appearance—one his father has likely given him a lot of grief for—and accepts it. Metaphor!!

It is, of course, understandable that Damian would have wanted better for his son than to be a cop, and this isn't to say that there isn't a world where that might have been enough to cause Damian to lose meaningful touch with his son for a decade. It certainly made sense for Ray Vecchio's father, who was likely involved with low-level mob business. But it does seem pretty extreme for Damian!

There's also the beautiful scene where Ray tells Fraser about his family in the precinct mess. At the very end, it really does look like he has something else he wants to say... but then Huey interrupts.

Now I am, of course, aware that Ray was dating or engaged to Stella at the time he graduated Academy. So what could his queerness possibly have to do with anything?

Well, as much as many of us wish it would, your queerness does not disappear when you enter a straight-passing relationship. I've even seen interesting ruminations in fic that some of the early hardship in Ray and Stella's relationship—remember, they broke up for a while during her college tenure—might have been due to the fact that Ray was interested in (or even caught) experimenting with men.

A personal anecdote, if you'll indulge me: I was in my mid-twenties, four years into a relationship with a man I thought I was going to marry, and tormented constantly by the idea that I was, probably, queer. I had no way of finding out while I was in a committed monogamous relationship. When I told my own mother that I thought I was bisexual, she told me it was all right—but also to never, ever tell my father. Even though I was in a relationship with a man, the knowledge of my queerness would have been enough to potentially cause a rift between my father and I that I don't know if we ever could have repaired. [editor's note: i'm a lesbian now and my dad and I have a stellar relationship ftr but i did have to marry a whole man first so] [editor's note: i am also the editor]

Ray gets caught with a man while Stella is in college? Or Stella knows and tells Ray's mother while they're drunk on wine one night? Or Ray's parents find a magazine... or a photo... or a stamp from the wrong club... anything. There's a million reasons why Ray's queerness could and may have come up even while he was with Stella, even while he was monogamous. Because he was still queer.

I know there's a certain element of "sometimes the curtains are just blue, dude, chill” to all of my meta, but when it comes to this show in particular I very much operate in my analyses from a place of "everything is intentional." Small details really do matter; the way scenes are shot matter, the words that are used matter, there's intentionality behind it all. We can't know or understand authorial intent, of course, but we can read our own interpretation of that intent into it. (The author is dead but Paul Gross thought Callum Keith Rennie was hot, so)

This is, after all, another episode directed by George Bloomfield, who also did Burning Down the House and is responsible for that "love at first sight" moment in Say Amen, so the direction here is in the hands of someone who is clearly in lock-step with Gross around the inclusion of queerness in the latter seasons of the show.

This moment is interesting to me in particular when considering intent because I actually would prefer to see Ray and Damian's faces in this moment! I want to know what Damian is thinking, or if he frowns. I want to know if Ray looks nervous or concerned. We don't see that at all.

Instead of seeing them over the GTO, we get the close-up on the hands and the bracelet over the rebuilt engine.

Rebuilding!! They're doing it.

And that makes my little queer heart pretty happy.

[tiredfox64]

Part three of Go for the Kill? But its based ok the ending where reason is with all three of the brothers? She soon gets knocked up and the threee fight over whose it is? >:3

The Soil was Tilled Enough

Prior notes: I knew somebody would ask for this. Had a That’s so Raven moment when I was writing that last part.

Pairings: Lin Kuei Bros x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: You’re gonna have a stroke with my reasoning.

You are faced with a light pink stick in your hands. You were growing tired and sick just days before which worried the brothers a lot. The last thing they want is for their vicious woman to grow horribly ill. Oh but this is no illness. This is the miracle of life.

Yeah this is a strange situation. Truly a spectacle that has some people, or more like someone, disappointed. Liu Kang ain’t too happy that his paid assassin would be out of commission for at least a year. What he also doesn’t like is hearing that the brothers are fighting over who is the father. The yelling is really getting annoying.

“It can’t possibly be your child! I slept with her first!” Bi-Han yelled directly in Tomas’ face.

“We all slept with her first! You are just jealous that the baby is possibly mine!” Tomas yelled right back.

The only one staying calm was Kuai Liang. He stayed right next to you, rubbing your belly as you contemplated the same thing. Who is the father?

Alright, so you put too much faith into Plan B. Guess it wasn’t made to handle loads upon loads of baby-making liquid from men who probably never allowed themselves to feel relief in quite a while. Plus the fact that they love you a lot made the chances of you getting pregnant much higher. I think they were aiming for that goal but I’m not a mind reader.

“What are we gonna do? Are we ready enough to handle having a baby and raising it?” You questioned, concerned about way too many things.

“Of course can handle it. The baby will be in safe hands. Even if the baby is not mine I promise to take care of them as if they were my own.” Kuai Liang made that promise to you.

Kuai Liang really loves you and just wants the best for you. He doesn’t want you to worry too much especially now that’s you are pregnant. His commitment to you made you feel a little better, knowing he won’t be mad about whose baby it is. The other two…yeah that’s gonna take some time.

At this point Bi-Han had Tomas in a headlock which made Tomas start punching Bi-Han’s arms in defense. Kuai Liang ran in to split the two apart.

“Enough of this! This fighting won’t solve anything.” He yelled at them both.

“I do not understand why you are not threatened by the fact that Tomas might have impregnated her. What good will that baby do coming from a man like him?” Bi-Han was being harsh again which made Tomas punch him.

“It does not matter. She is pregnant and she wants to keep it. We must support her no matter what.”

Kuai Liang was right and all the brothers had to agree with his statement. Though Bi-Han was still being as stubborn as ever. If he just keeps the mindset that it’s his baby in there he will be fine.

“Well, do you know how far along you are?” Tomas asked.

“Considering the last time we did it was a couple of weeks ago and I’m getting sick, it might be four to six weeks.”

Oof, if it’s six it can only get worse when it comes to the symptoms. Get ready to start taking bathroom breaks and getting sick from smells.

“It will still be a few weeks before we can get a paternity test done.” You added on.

“We should do that. Settle this debate early on whose child this is.” Bi-Han was on board with doing a paternity test even though he didn’t know you can test that while still pregnant. It’s that old mindset don’t worry.

“I want to the know the gender first. I wanna see if we are having a baby boy or a baby girl.” Tomas gushed at the idea.

“No you don’t, Tomas! We will not wait to find out the gender first.”

“Yes we will, brother. It will teach you to have some patience. It will also test if you still love her enough to take care of her while she is going through this.”

Kuai Liang was shutting Bi-Han down at every opportunity. How dare his little brother accuse him of not loving you. Fine, he’ll wait. They’ll all wait. And as that goes on they will start preparing things for you like a nursery. They gonna spoil the hell out of you.

A woman who is pregnant is a strong woman indeed. They will make sure to take good care of you. They will do their parts as the possible fathers.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Finally! Week thirteen! You can expect your results to be one hundred percent accurate when it comes to the gender. Now here’s the interesting part—

“WHAT!” You, Tomas, Bi-Han, and Kuai Liang all yelled at the doctor in shock.

…I didn’t get to finish. Let me speak up. Damn…

As I was saying the interesting part was that as time went on you noticed your belly was getting quite big. It was a little too early but you didn’t think it was anything much. This was your first time being pregnant so you thought it was normal.

Not necessarily.

“T-twins? We are having twins? And they are all ours?” Tomas was questioning the doctor on how accurate it was.

The ultrasounds did show two little babies. Two little nuggets growing inside you. And they are both boys, congratudolences!

“It’s called Heteropaternal superfecundation. It’s incredibly rare but it can happen. Especially to someone with three partners.” That doctor was throwing shade at you. She was just jealous.

“So one of those boys is definitely mine,” Tomas was all smiles, “But what about the other one?”

Yeah, what about the other one? Still got the other two. They are blood related so this might be harder.

If it’s Kuai Liang’s this might not end well for him since Bi-Han was staring him down with a death glare. Luckily the doctor had something to say about that.

“That’s the thing, we can’t tell. Because they are related there is some difficulties. So as far as any of you know, they are both the father of that other little boy.”

Kuai Liang is content with that. He is just happy to start a family and have a child with you. Bi-Han…ah he gives up. There is no point in being upset about this. There is nothing anyone can do. He’ll be happy to have a son of his own that he can train and possibly be the next grandmaster to the Lin Kuei.

All the brothers are happy to be fathers to a wonderful set of twins, dizygotic twins to be exact. Tomas is already imagining having the twins play together and teaching them to take care of one another. Kuai Liang is imagining caring for them both and teaching them to be good brother. Bi-Han already preparing in his mind a plan to train his son. That’s his responsibility.

The tension between the brothers dissipated. There was no reason to fight and stress you out even more. Looks like they better get more things ready for the babies. The nursery has to be big enough to accommodate two of them.

You have a good support system going on here. I hope you are happy with your multiple lovers and your set of twins.

…

Oh don’t tell me, you want to know who the father actually is. Alright so the clinic didn’t actually have the advanced technology to figure out who the father was when it came to Kuai Liang and Bi-Han. They were only certain on Tomas.

The true father is…I don’t know. What? Did you think I knew all? No! Even I don’t know. And do you even wanna know? Just let be happy that they are happy. Now get some rest, mama. You have a long journey ahead of you and it’s called motherhood.

After notes: Why do I keep doing twins? I’m scaring myself. Here’s a fact about me I have a high chance of having twins if I were to get pregnant. Yeah, I know, crazy. Please tell me I haven’t manifested this for myself my period still hasn’t come oh gosh 😭. I would have done triplets for this fic but nature doesn’t work like that. Well since I’m done I get to eat. Adiós! (Pls make my period show up y’all)

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

spent a good hour reading up on your Not What He Seems AU, it’s such a perfect mix of angst and whimsy! Ford waking up to find 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye is is the kind of body horror terrifying i eat up, as an avid enjoyer of time travel and its inherent tragedy.

i got a few questions, if you’ll indulge me:

- what kinds of tattoos you think Bill has gotten over the years? i think i saw some arm bands in one of your pieces, but i’d love to hear if you have any specific ideas for placements or images. if he’s doing it for the safe pain experience, i’d think there are some pretty big/detailed pieces involved? and do you think the pain helps ground him somewhat, to find and fit better in the boundaries of the body?

- in the show, Stan feels a lot of guilt for stealing his brother’s identity and he kinda thinks of himself as a fraud, an actor. do you think Bill ever feels guilty for the same? or would he just miss Ford a lot, without the Stan-specific aspect of pretending to be “the better one”?

also any fun tidbits you’ve been rotating in your head lately! it’s impressive how specifically it seems like you’ve thought out how Bill’s presence would affect the canon show events, while trying to keep them as unchanged as possible. also StanFraud is the funniest, most perfect thing I’ve ever heard!

Thank you!! I’ve always enjoyed writing horror based on human response, so Ford’s perspective is probably one of the most fascinating to me in this AU, although, all of it is fascinating and enjoyable to explore, really!

— I haven’t worked them all out yet, but I know for a fact he has a tattoo of the Cipher Wheel on his back, the arm bands as you mentioned, a hyper-realistic tattoo of his ribs where his ribs would be (if that makes sense), and eyes on the back of his hands. Honestly, I’d be open to suggestions for him! I imagine him having some more grotesque, detailed tattoos that reflect the nightmare realm as well. And yes, the pain definitely helps ground him. It also gives him a sense of control as well, in a situation where he has none.

— If he does feel guilty, it’s a complicated kind of guilt. I don’t even think he’d fully process that he’s feeling guilty. It’s this sort of gnawing feeling he can’t get rid of, and it starts the longer he gets to know Dipper and Mabel — he never really felt it before that. He absolutely misses Ford though. He can’t define that feeling either. I’ve said before that he looks at Dipper strangely, and that’s because Dipper reminds him of Ford in certain moments, eager for discovery!

He and Stan never really talk about it, but the have both acknowledged missing Ford before.

Bill’s response was vague though, not an ‘I miss him too’, but an ‘I think I do too.’ He isn’t sure what to make of that.

Bill Cipher doesn’t feel remorse, or miss people, he does everything with intention and he’s never made mistakes. Or, that’s what he’s meant to be. Maybe he has gone soft.

And Tidbits! I have a few! Not as many as usual, only because Arcane’s been taking up a bit of my brain space lately, but I hope these shall suffice anyhow:

(And quickly, thank you again, I think way too hard on all the small details and how Bill’s presence would have a knock on effect. It makes me happy to see it get noticed!)

— In the early days of Bill being trapped, Stan obviously doesn’t open the Mystery Shack, and ends up having to take a few odd jobs around town instead. He’s earned a bit of a reputation for being a decent handyman because of that, and even now, old timers of the town will still come to Stan if they need something fixing, especially cars. He complains about getting too old for it, but he never says no. Money is money! It’s also interesting to think about how the little things would impact his relationship with the townsfolk and how they view him. He’s always been Stanley to them. He’s never had to pretend otherwise.

— I’ve toyed around with making the Blind Eye a bigger threat than they are in canon, being as the kids would have no reason to look into Old Man McGucket. I’ve also toyed around with McGucket ending up slightly different to canon, his mind still broken, but his motivation different, with him being aware early on that the man he sees isn’t Ford, and is in fact the beast he fears and tried to erase from his mind. A more antagonistic Fiddleford who’s been trying to get rid of Bill for years now would actually be really fun? If I can make it work, and make the Blind Eye work in this way, I’ll lean into it! For now though, it’s just an idea I’m throwing around.

— Vague ‘episode’ idea that exists within my brain is Bill accidentally starting a mini cult again after telling some sort of lie that catches on, and it ends up being a Mabel-Bill bonding plot-line as she tries to convince him to just be honest before this whole cult thing gets taken too far. I also love the idea of Bill making a comment about this being like 1952 all over again. He makes comments like that all the time. Surely he’s just joking!

— Another vague ‘episode’ idea I have is Bill taking Dipper and Mabel to the supernatural underground market of Gravity Falls under Stan’s nose, trying to prove he’s the cooler Uncle, and that he can handle the two kids by himself. This goes about as well as you’d expect. Stan isn’t too happy to find out Bill got Dipper and Mabel in trouble, as he tried to get them to do more and more risky things.

— Bill will sometimes start speaking in Euclydian without realising, especially when it comes to cursing, and no one knows how he’s making those sounds with his mouth. Stan’s actually started picking up some of the meanings in context and can roughly gauge what Bill might be saying.

[hextechmaturgy]

lucanis' romance is disappointing because like many other aspects of this game you can practically smell all the wasted potential

spoilers below!

we know from the stories that came before veilguard that cousins lucanis and illario grow up knowing caterina has a favorite grandson she intends to make first talon one day. it's implied and sometimes outwardly said that lucanis is indeed a better assassin than illario, and being a better assassin in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS is a big deal. at the same time, we find out that illario is the more personable between the two. lucanis says he can charm just about anyone and zara calls him 'amatus' right before illario fucking kills her, so we know that's true. we find out through banter that lucanis had a crush on viago and failed miserably to show him because his only idea was to get him a knife, and, should you have an active romance with him, he will also admit to your companions that you are his first relationship

lucanis spends his entire romance backing away from you. he barely reacts to your flirting, he ducks away from a first kiss to 'clear his head', he won't shut up about coffee, and the moment you commit to him is just a quick scene where he SAYS he made you dessert, meanwhile, pretty much every other character is kissing you and declaring how much they care for you, emmerich's first kiss happens relatively early into the second act and it's such a sweet scene.

all this tells me is the writers were going for 'fail boy's first romance', packed with the slow burn of someone who has no idea how to show you how much he cares for you. it's sweet! i romance alistair every time for pretty much the same reasons. there's something very disarming about a strong, capable man who turns to mush around you because you're just that precious to him, because he's afraid you'll cringe and run away at his inexperience/awkwardness/eagerness.

but while i think that idea was perfectly executed with alistair, i think what we got for lucanis is extremely weak, to a point where i started wondering if my game was bugged and i had missed a romance flag somehow, or soft locked myself into someone else's romance. that's when it becomes a problem for me. when i flirt with him and he DOESN'T REPLY, it's not even him looking awkward, it's him not looking interested. he certainly sounds cute and awkward around neve, why does he show her that side and not rook? it felt like they were meant to be together, especially with the whole 'pick between treviso and minrathous' storyline, but i checked out neve's romance and that one is really good, one of my favorites in fact, SO WHAT GIVES? it's not that lucanis is reserved as a character, it's more like the game wasn't programmed with his reserved nature in mind. so he shows you he's committed by making you desert... couldn't we have had a scene where we watch him baking, instead of hearing him say he did it? we run into him preparing a surprise and he's out of sorts, or he asks us to go on another grocery run and you piece together what he's planning from peeping the ingredients. SHOW DON'T TELL IS THE MOST BASIC OF WRITING ADVICE, SO PLEASE ???? they did it with kaiden in ME3, he cooks for you and burns the garlic because you're just so distracting. there were multiple opportunities for cute and unsure, neve's romance is surprisingly tender and this one could've been too.

as it is right now, lucanis' romantic interactions feel like game bugs, his pet demon seems to be far more entertaining than him/is generally mega underutilized (can you imagine a scene of spite getting done with lucanis' bullshit and sleep walking some more to tell you he's smitten), and if you are planning to have lucanis as your romance, you should go into it knowing that after your first good, dare i say EXCELLENT first romantic chat at that coffee shop ("like a kiss goodbye" charmed me there and then) you'll be waiting until literally the end of the game for any sort of pay off. there's a good romance to explore here, the complete opposite of zevran as far as crow romances go, but sadly these fun dynamics will only get decently explored in fanfiction i fear

[royboyfanpage]

Can I ask your thoughts and opinions on Mia?

Thank You 🙂

Oh I have SO many thoughts and opinions on Mia Dearden.

I feel like a big issue I've seen with how people try and fit the Arrowfam family dynamic is that they end up erasing a lot of aspects of Mia while doing it. Don't get me wrong, I have seen some brilliant analysis of Mia in fandom, but things such as Mia's early supposed crush on Ollie and her kiss with Connor tend to get ignored in the fandom, or in some cases I've seen people try and use the "DC stands for disregard canon" mentality against these events, which I think are just counterproductive.

In the case of Ollie, Mia having a "crush" on him at the beginning of their relationship IS very important to their father/daughter relationship, both in how Mia views herself and what she believes she deserves and how Ollie is able to disprove her preconceived notions of what a caregiver is supposed to do. It's important to note this panel in particular-

Because this mindset that Richard taught her is very influential for how Mia assumes Ollie will be and what Ollie will want. Because obviously Richard is manipulating and grooming Mia when he says this, but those things Richard claims to be doing- loving and caring for her- are what Ollie actually does do when he takes her in.

The biggest examples of Mia's "crush" on Ollie both take place in #11- her dream where she kisses Ollie, and her outright saying she has a crush on him. In terms of the dream, it's important to take into account that this was the same dream wherein she became Speedy. Mia's lived a significant part of her life at this point where everything has a price- the supposed protection Richard gave her came at the price of sex. Since Mia's dream at that point was becoming Speedy, she automatically assumed that becoming Speedy would come at the price of having to have a sexual relationship with Ollie when we know this isn't what she wants- like she told Richard, all she really wants is to be a kid and be treated like a kid, but she's not used to the idea that that could be a possibility. As for her saying she has a crush on Ollie, that was directly following Ollie expressing genuine paternal affection towards her, something she doesn't have experience with. She doesn't know how to respond to that, so her response is a mix between trying to downplay the genuine moment and saying what she still somewhat believes Ollie wants to hear.

In addition, I was talking to @lesbian-cowpoke recently about this actually, and in their words, "Mia views him as a father and that's WHY she had the "crush" on Ollie. Oftentimes, victims of CSA (especially incestuous ones like mia) will engage in inappropriate behavior and thoughts because of the severe damage sustained to their psyche. There are studies upon studies on how CSA survivors externalize their behaviors and have issues with interpersonal relationships, and sometimes (like in mia's case) go sorta in search if relationships that replicate that behavior" which is really the perfect explanation.

As for Connor, I don't think it takes much reading comprehension to understand that scene. It explicitly says in the scene that the kiss was a gesture and not one of sexual or romantic intent. In that scene, Mia was telling Connor she’s worried she’s dirty and nobody would want to love her because of her HIV, and Connor kissing her was proving to her that there will still be people out there who want to kiss her and give her physical affection in a romantic sense, and to prove that he isn't afraid of her diagnosis. He was co-opting a typically romantic gesture to use in a non romantic way to prove that she is capable of being loved, which is Such an important aspect of her HIV storyline.

I think Mia's story is genuinely one of the most well written stories in DC history. The development of her relationship with the rest of the Arrowfam- particularly with Ollie- is so compelling to read. I love the way their relationship is built because there are so many scenes that just feel so real. Ollie and Mia don't have the perfect father/daughter relationship. They have their ups and downs. But the important thing is they're able to resolve these issues with communication.

I'm also a really big fan of the way Mia inherited the name Speedy, and the parallels between her and Roy are so poignant. Speedy as a name repeatedly humanising stigmatised groups in society- addicts, sex workers, and people with STIs specifically. I also love the fact that to Mia, Roy's one of her biggest heroes not in spite of his addiction but because of it- because he managed to overcome his addiction and survive. Speedy means survival and perseverance and it's the perfect mantle for Mia to take up.

So yeah, those are some of my thoughts and opinions on Mia Dearden :) hope this is okay!

[aireia]

And now I'm burning brighter than your dreams. — He grieves for you.

Extra notes: Read part 1 here! The fic makes just about 0 sense without it unfortunately.

tw/cw: minor spoilers for chapter 261. no pronouns used for reader but uses she/her in first part. death. angst with little fluff. hurt with a little comfort. minor implications of suicidal thoughts. dreaming. mentions of blood. minor violence. blades. death. injuries. author's first language still isn't english. no beta we die like everyone. wc: 6.8K

note: This fic makes 0 sense to me. It sucks ass, but there's 2 days till my birthday so I decided to become a genshin character and send you guys a gift (angst) instead of someone sending me gifts instead. I also have no idea how to tag this. —masterlist

y/n l/n’s death has been confirmed by second grade sorcerer Megumi Fushiguro.

It’s been a few weeks since your death. Has it really been that long?

It's spring. The seasons have just shifted, and it’s still cold early in the morning. Megumi tries his best to get out of bed every morning, but the chilly breeze in the morning doesn’t help at all. It’s been like that for the past few weeks. He’d feel the cold air in the morning, and his mind would flash back to the time where he was holding you in his arms.

He remembers everything. It was especially cold on that winter night, which meant bodies got cold way faster after dying. He remembers wanting to get your corpse back to jujutsu high as quickly as possible, but that meant he would’ve parted from you faster than he would have ever wanted. In fact, if there were a choice, he doesn’t think he could ever let go of you.

Megumi remembers telling himself to hold you for just a while longer after you began to get cold, to give you the warmth you deserved. You’re a child too, just like he is, and from his knowledge, most, if not all children hated the cold. 

He doesn’t remember being a selfish person. He’s only been like that once, for all he can recollect. Although he knows how he was when he cradled your body. His lips were trembling, his arms desperately trying to keep you close. He didn’t shed many tears, no, but he remembers his throat threatening to spill words such as “don’t go” or “don’t leave me”, yet he choked on all of them. 

Megumi was certain it wouldn’t have cursed you, considering you were killed by a cursed tool, but for the short period of time you were hanging onto the thread of consciousness you had left, he was sure he would’ve cursed not you, but himself to death with his words had you heard him. 

He hasn’t been doing much either. Every single day has been a constant loop for him where he struggles to get out of bed, does a bit of training, eats a bit, and heads back to sleep earlier than he usually would. His mind keeps yelling at himself that he’s being pathetic, and that you were the same as the people who come and go in a jujutsu sorcerer’s life. Despite that, he doesn’t quite understand why every part of him refuses. 

Megumi doesn’t dream about you often. In fact, he hasn’t dreamt of you for over a month now. It's for the better, he thinks, and he hopes it stays that way. Though, there's a part of him that wishes he could see you every time he closes his eyes, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. No, actually, screw that. Your name has rotted in everyone’s mouths. It tastes like vomit and dust on their tongues. 

“They didn’t even give you a proper burial,” Megumi thought to himself before his eyelids finally closed. He doesn’t know what they did to you after he turned your corpse in. He doesn’t want to think about any of that either. 

Thinking too much was going to be the reason he died, he swore of it. 

-

Megumi can hear the sound of soft grass swaying. Wasn’t he in his room just a few moments ago? For once, he can breathe the air normally without feeling like he doesn’t deserve to, and the sunlight is kissing his eyelids so beautifully, so much more gently compared to the morning breeze that pricks his skin.

He opens his eyes, and Megumi finds himself in a field of blooming flowers. He softly reaches out to touch the petals before standing up. He walks around the place, the sound of the grass rustling as he walks around now the only thing in his ears. 

Megumi stops and takes a large breath of fresh air. If he could, he’d live here forever, he thinks. 

Then he spots a butterfly fluttering around him. It’s pretty, a shade of deep purple and black, and he can’t help but follow it as it flies away from him. Suddenly, he feels like he’s three again, and although he doesn’t remember most of his childhood, he vaguely remembered that he would play like this with his mother. 

He loses the butterfly a little while later, and he’s greeted by falling sakura blossoms. He reaches out to touch the pastel pink flower, only for it to dissolve as soon as it comes in contact with his hand. 

Megumi walks up to the tree, looking up at the flowers to see the sunlight that bled through the gaps. Then, he spots someone else. Someone who’s also wandering around, lost, like a child without direction. 

-

His eyes shot open. Megumi touched his face. It was covered in beads of sweat, and his hands lightly trembled, he swears he saw you in the distance. You weren’t facing him. He walked around the field, aimlessly wandering around while admiring the violet butterflies that danced around the flowers, just as he did.

He walked up to you, and there you are. That’s when he woke up. 

“2am..” Megumi sighed once he looked at the clock on his nightstand. You’re in his dreams. Damnit. He’s not saying you weren’t before you died, but then, everything was simple. He dreamt of your futures together, not what this was.

He wasn't able to fall back asleep after that, tossing and turning on his head, only thinking of the image of you in the field of flowers. You looked so beautiful, and he wondered for a moment if it could be reality. It’s selfish, but he really wants it to be.

-

“Woah Fushiguro! You look more tired than usual today. You sure you don’t wanna sit this one out?” Yuji asked the next morning, clearly concerned. Of course he was. Anyone would be if they saw the dark circles under his eyes.

“I’m fine. Let’s go,” he replied, stretching in hopes of getting rid of the tiredness he felt. Each step he took after that felt heavier than the last, and Megumi felt like crumbling to the ground and falling asleep, but the world continues to spin no matter how he feels, so he decides to continue taking missions and working himself to the bone. 

At first, it’s fine. He easily distracts himself from the thoughts of you, but with each second that passes, he finds it harder and harder to do so. He’d thought that he would be able to forget you, but it seems to haunt him more and more now. 

He doesn’t get it. He remembers when Yuji died for a few weeks after he met him, and he easily got rid of the heavy feeling in his stomach, but now you’re gone forever, and if he’s honest, he never knew much of you, or had that much time with you, and it was a single dream, so why can’t he return back to his normal self?

Despite all the thoughts that plagued him, the day passed by quickly… He thinks. 

It felt like a long time when they were battling, but everything before and after that is a blur of memories he couldn’t bother to recall. Maybe it’s the injuries the curse inflicted on him that’s messing with his mind. Or it’s just like any other day, bleeding and merging into each other. 

-

“Another dream…” Megumi thought to himself when he opened his eyes to see the dark sky. He’s lying on something hard. The floor, probably. He stretched his arms and sat up, only to get startled by you, who’s holding up a lantern in front of him. He stares at you for a while, trying to process finally seeing you, and you cupped his cheek with your free hand. 

“It really is you. You disappeared just as I was about to call out for you last time,” you said, smiling. You set the lantern down and hugged him tightly, and Megumi couldn’t help but feel a little odd at the warmth of you. He’ll remember this feeling, he tells himself, because at least, he wants this nice, warm feeling to replace the final time he touched you before this, when your skin was cold to the touch.

“Where are we?” Megumi asked as you helped him up after you parted, and you picked the lantern back up. You looked in the sky, where the clouds swirled and drifted. “I don’t know,” you answered with a cheeky smile. You’re just the same as ever. 

You grabbed one of his hands and began running towards the nearest door. “I guess we should explore, right?” you laughed, entering the manor, both your footsteps now echoing through the empty halls. 

The walls were mostly lined with paintings of people you both recognised. Gojo and Shoko, along with a painting of a male with long, dark hair. The both of you slowed down to admire the art, and as you walked along the halls, you realised that the mysterious person’s paintings had been torn, namely the large gash that ran along his forehead. 

As you kept going to what seemed to be an endless gallery, Gojo’s paintings also seemed to be growing weirder and weirder. His were stained with crimson, and eventually, his paintings too shared the same destruction as the ones beside him.

Shoko wasn’t in the frame of her paintings anymore. 

Megumi was about to push the door to the next room open when you suddenly asked, “How’s everything been?” and his hand froze. 

“It’s not been the best,” he answered, not wanting to go too much into detail. You didn’t want to push him, but if only you did, because right now, you miss him too. 

The door opened to a garden, casted over by the shadows of the plants and trees. There’s a table in the middle of it, with tea and coffee and snacks. It seemed like too much of a set up for a date. Megumi wonders because it’s his dreams, maybe this is what he wanted when you were alive? To take you out to a coffee shop, one where there were barely any people so you could focus on each other. 

Without thinking, he pulled you over to the table and pulled the chair out for you, before walking over to one of the bushes and plucking out a rose for you. He goes back to you and slips it into your hair, brushing some of it out of your face to admire your pretty eyes. You’re the same as ever, and he thinks it’s the best thing that he’s felt in the past few weeks. 

Megumi pours a drink for you before sitting down to sip on his coffee, shyly biting into the cookie that you offered him with that pretty smile on your face. 

He doesn’t know how much time has passed in this dreamland before the both of you finally get up and start walking around again. This time, you’re looking at the many flowers grown in the garden, and by the time you reach another door, you’ve woven a flower crown and placed it on Megumi’s head. 

The both of you stared at the wooden door in the middle of the garden. Considering its location, it was safe to assume that this was the pathway back to the real world. You felt his lips brush against your forehead before he opened the door, and then he was gone. 

-

Megumi awakens this time from the sound of knocking on his door. He looks at the clock on his bedside. It’s already 9AM in the morning. He lazily throws himself out of bed, before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, then opens the door.

“Wow. Look at this guy.”

Nobara pointed at his bed head. Her and Yuji were both dressed in casual clothing, ready for the day as compared to him, who still looked half asleep in his dark, long sleeved shirt. Megumi listened to the duo talk for a while before they focused their attention on him. 

“Fushiguro! Did you not listen to anything we said on the way back from our mission last night?” Nobara asked. 

“I was asleep.” 

“Then go get ready or something!” she half yelled, and pushed Megumi back into the room. 

Once Megumi stepped back out, he was immediately dragged off to Shinjuku, where they continued to pull him around while shopping for sweets and clothes and just about anything. Just for those few hours, his mind was lifted from the thoughts of you, and he felt a little at peace, even though you were still in the back of his mind. 

He felt a little guilty. Even though his expressions don’t show it, he feels so, so happy for the first time in weeks with his friends, but you aren’t here to feel it with him, and he can’t help but feel like he can’t feel what he does, because he wants you to be beside him too. 

He looks at the sight in front of him, drinking in how Nobara and Yuji looked trying to win a plushie from the claw machine, his own breathing the only sound in his ears as the chatter of passer-bys drown out every other sound. The two are raging over a rigged machine, the sensitivity of the claw set just a little too high for it to be able to tightly grip the plushies. 

And then, he thinks of you. 

Through his eyes, he can picture you laughing along with them. You would’ve loved this. You would’ve loved every part of the life they lived. 

After they successfully managed to bag two plushies, they continued their journey, running around Shinjuku before they ended up at a mall, where they took Megumi to a photobooth. 

Yea. You would’ve loved this.

That night, Megumi pulled out the drawer of his nightstand where he kept your photo and compared it with the new photo in his hand. He noticed that Yuji had a few new scars on his face, Nobara looked a little bit more mature, and he… Still had his eyebags. And the most noticeable difference, you weren’t in the picture anymore. 

He places both of them into the drawer and shuts it. He wants to take another picture with you again. Just the two of you, together. 

-

“What’s it like being dead?” Megumi blurted out. He was dreaming again. You take your eyes off the cloud like fish that turn into mist at every touch. A whale swam by just then, turning into smoke and mist the moment Megumi reached out to touch it. 

You stared at him, mind wandering. You fixed your gaze back on the creatures around you as you walked through the aquarium, and finally responded. “I’m just… There? I guess.”

“That isn’t an answer,” he said, slightly side-eyeing you, and you laughed. “I can’t say. I haven’t been dead for long, have I?” but that’s only to you. To Megumi, it’s been a lifetime without you, and hearing you say it again reminded him of just how much he’s grown to lean on your shoulder when he felt weak. 

“Or maybe it’s because I’m waiting for someone that I’m putting off finally laying my soul to rest,” you said, pressing your finger against the glass of the aquarium tanks and watching as curious sea creatures gathered. 

“Who?” Megumi asked, only for you to turn around and boop his nose with your finger. 

“You, obviously.” 

“You want me to die early?” He questioned again. What? Where’d he get that type of idea? 

“Silly boy,” you laughed, grabbing his arm before running towards the exit of the aquarium, the stray animals around you disappearing as you ran through them, leaving large trails of mist behind you, as if you were deconstructing Megumi’s dreams for him, leading him back where he belonged. 

“I’d wait an eternity for you, so don’t come here too early.”

-

When he woke up again, the rain outside was as heavy as ever. With the way it’s pouring down, it looks like there’s clouds of mist everywhere. That would explain why he dreamt of… Whatever that was. He pressed his finger against the panel of the window, wondering if there was even the slightest chance for him to create shikigami that resembled the ones in his imaginations. 

Actually, nevermind. That sounded stupid. 

Megumi got ready for his day. For once, he felt just a little bit more energised. Maybe it was because he felt reassured. You’re waiting for him, and he won’t be alone. Even if he can’t see you now, but still! He knows now that if he does somehow die, which you wouldn’t be happy about, at least he’d be able to have all the time in the world with you. 

The grief doesn’t feel as heavy anymore, now replaced by his hopes that you’d keep visiting him in his dreams, entering his mind and pulling him out of his own, it felt almost as if it were him who was in your dreams, and not the other way around.

-

It’s been a few months now, and he’s dreamt of you so, so many times. Each time he left those dreams meant that he made new memories with you– something you weren’t able to do in the real world. Megumi can’t help but find himself wanting to be with you more. He wants to make up for the lost time, for every second he wasn’t able to be by your side. If anyone knew, they’d call him obsessive. Hell, they’d say anything, but to him, this felt like hope he seemed to have lost.

He sat in his bed, reading one of his novels. Actually, reading… Wouldn’t be the right term here. He found himself mindlessly staring at the words and flipping through pages he hadn't read as he thought and dwelled on memories from when you were still alive. 

Megumi looked out the window of the classroom. It’s autumn again. The trees have begun to turn a shade of orange, the wind has gotten just a little colder, and everything seemed a little bit duller. 

Today, grey clouds covered the skies, and he looked at the front of the class. It seemed just like the day you first stepped foot into campus, where one day they’d all get permissions and have sleepovers and drink hot chocolate, and he can’t help but feel a little saddened.

Now all the memories he has of you are from the figments of his and your imaginations. Is it so wrong for him to wish to see the stars with you again? Is it so wrong for him to wish for you to take his first kiss in the winter on the roof again? 

Megumi wants nothing more right now than to relive each of those memories, and with each passing second, he finds himself wanting to do those things in his dreams, even though he can’t control any of them. 

-

“It’s almost winter? Brings back memories,” you breathed out, walking ahead of him. “I wanna play monopoly with you guys again. I was so close to winning last time.”

“Why couldn’t we have ended up like that?” Megumi asked you one day.

He was at a beach with you this time. When he opened his eyes, you were dancing in the cool water, freer than any bird with your arms spread wide to welcome the breeze and sunlight that kissed your skin. 

He was mesmerised by the way you moved, and before he knew it, you pulled him by his arms to dance with you, the warmth of your hands surrounding his skin. And then, you sat by the ocean with your feet in the water, your head resting on Megumi’s shoulder. 

“It would’ve been selfish,” you replied to his question, closing your eyes to listen to the sound of the waves. 

“It’s okay to be,” he retorted. “We could’ve been so much more.” 

Silence took over, and you think for a moment. He’s right. You could've been everything. 

“There wouldn’t have been a point to it with what I was.” There was bitterness in your voice. “And besides, I don’t have the right to feel that way.”

“I should’ve been more selfish for you.”

You looked at the water splashing over your legs and stood up, slowly making your way to the deeper parts of the water. Maybe it's your fault for showing up so much, but you miss him just as much as he does, and you're unsure of how to get him to stop, or for you to let go, too.

“It’s time for me to go. See you?” 

The uncertainty in your voice made him feel worried. He got up and tried to reach out towards you, wanting to do anything to keep you from leaving again, but the waves had consumed you before he could, and suddenly, his eyes were open, and he’s awake.

He doesn’t like how quickly the dream went by.

He doesn’t dream of you again after that. You’re always on his mind, just like usual, but he can’t seem to speak to you or dream of you. Each day spent was a day spent in disappointment, and he doesn’t want to stop trying.

Megumi could walk down the streets and see various flowers and plants, or a pretty bird you’d like, and he’d want to talk to you about it. 

Despite how strong his desires are, he can’t find you anywhere. He swears he’s about to start writing letters to heaven and somehow hoping they get to you. He’s dreamt of you so much now he’s starting to think you’re alive again, and more often than not, he finds himself picking his phone up and clicking on your contact in hopes of being able to text you about his day, and for you to respond to him, but that won’t happen, and he knows it.

And then all of it repeats. He’s going to bed earlier and earlier, hoping that by some miracle that he was going to see you in the fog of illusions his brain made.

But you never showed up, and he was getting tired of it. He found it harder to concentrate on missions, because there were just so many things he wanted to tell you, and he kept telling himself to remember because he’ll see you again, and then he’ll get to tell you of everything he’s seen, because you were never able to see them.

He’s so full of you, you, and you, and all the heart he has for you, so please, he begs, for once he's found something he can look forward to, why won’t you just comfort him again?

-

“Megumi…”

His eyes opened abruptly to scan his surroundings. Another few months have passed, and a year has probably passed since you first started appearing in his dreams, he’s finally heard your voice again. There’s nothing around him. It’s pure darkness, and he can hear your voice echoing somewhere. 

Megumi started following the sound of you, and eventually, the ground crunched with each step he took. He looked down. He’s stepping on white snow, then he looks up again, and there’s a trail of blood.

And he hears your voice in that direction.

He gulps and freezes. His legs are physically impaled into the ground, as if something were holding him down, and he can’t find it in himself to move. And then he thinks, and thinks, and you’re in danger, and suddenly, he takes one step, and then he’s running towards you. 

The trees seem to become blurry as he increases his speed, and he doesn’t know how long he’s been running. One moment it’s dark, and then there was light as he stepped into the snow, and now, the sun has set, and he’s running in hopes of reaching you before he fails you again. 

He’s panting heavily, his legs are about to give out from the running, and he finally sees you. The blood on the ground he saw earlier had gotten thicker with every step he ran, and he sees you laying in the cold snow again, with your arm extended towards the skies. There’s a star you’re hoping to grasp, to reach and it’s shining so brightly, so radiant and pretty for everyone in the world to see as you finally realised– It’s always been out of your reach.

Megumi ran towards you and pulled you into his arms. He wondered to himself just as he did it, what is he doing? Why does he have to experience this again? It’s completely the same, and he can feel how cold your body is. 

He feels like he’s on autopilot, vision shaky and blurry as he holds your freezing hand up to his cheek, and he can feel his heart thumping in his chest, his mind running thousands of miles per second, and yet just one word from you snapped him out of all of it.

 “I’m sorry.” 

For some reason, Megumi dreaded that you’d apologise. He didn’t want an apology. He knows you felt guilty for the pain you’d caused him, but he’s over it. He could never hate you, because why would he? How could he hate you when you gave him company, love, and comfort? How could he hate you when he’s himself? 

He doesn’t respond to you. Not this time. Instead, he looks up to see the moon, and just as he thought, there wasn’t any moon again, because why would there be when it was right beside him? And for how much you loved the sun, isn’t it cruel that it never shone upon you? 

-

His eyes shot open again. It feels even worse now. He knows it’s just a dream, but you were dying, and he’s awake, and he wonders if he was still there holding you so you felt warm before everything went dark. He stares at his hands. It’s not stained with blood. Not anymore, for he washed it off over a year ago, so why does it feel so devastating knowing it wasn’t real? 

Perhaps it was the feeling that he’s failed you again, and there wasn’t anyone by your side, or maybe he’s thinking from your perspective. Maybe he was never beside you and he’s invisible in his dreams, and you think you don’t deserve the grace of a little mercy, just a little bit of company and kindness when you die. 

The tight feeling in his chest from the day he woke up after your passing was back again, and he can’t help but think it’s only gotten worse. 

Megumi wipes the sweat off his forehead and gets up. He has a solo mission today. He can’t mess up again. Not when you’re no longer around to have his back. 

Once he’s ready, he meets up with Ijichi, who briefs him on his mission while driving. It seemed easy enough. Worst case scenario, he’d run into a grade two curse, which he wouldn’t have that much of a problem defeating. 

So why exactly was he being stared down by such a creature now? He can’t help but feel a sense of deja vu. This exact thing has happened before, but at least you were there at the time. Now, he’s alone, trapped in a veil with no way to contact the outside world, and with the way the curse looks, he feels that he’s about to be beheaded. 

He snaps out of his thoughts when the curse swings at him, and he barely dodges the attack. He’s convinced he would’ve been turned into minced meat. He can’t do this. He can’t, not alone. 

He needs you, but you aren’t there again. 

He knows he can’t keep dodging forever. His stamina would run out soon, but every single attack he tried to deliver just wasn’t working. Nothing was. Every hit given was just another dent in his blade. It’s near its breaking point too, he can tell. 

Megumi’s eyes close as another impact lands on his weapon, and he doesn’t process it, but another hit, and everything hurts. He’s not sure if he’s broken a bone or not, or if anything inside his body is bleeding, but he’s very, very sure that he’s bleeding out. He’s tired. 

He doesn’t want to do this anymore. He can’t bring himself to get up. He can only stare at the curse before he finally blacks out.

-

“Hello?” he hears a voice sing out, and his eyes flutter open. “You’re awake, finally” 

You’re looking down from above him.

“What… Where am I?" Megumi questioned you, looking around the blank space around him.

“The border between life and death. I'm just here to make sure you don't die early, that's what partners are for, right?” you crouched down and flicked his forehead.

“You’re dwelling on me too much. It’s been a year, you know?” you looked straight at him, noticing that he was avoiding your gaze. “...It’s because I've been appearing in your dreams, haven't I? That's what's holding you back.” Megumi finally looked at you at the mentions of his imaginations. Yes, you have been in his dreams. You are his dream, but he doesn’t want you to feel bad because of it.

“I don’t want to let go.” 

You sighed at his words and sat down next to him. “Megumi, you have to understand that I’m only a small chapter in your life. I’m not much of a psychologist, but that chapter has ended– Our chapter has ended. You’re still young, Megumi, there’s so much you can experience, so don’t end it all–”

“You were young too,” he blurted out. “You had a lot you could’ve experienced too, but you couldn’t.” 

“I wanted to live beautifully too!” you suddenly snapped at him, and everything went silent.

The tension between you two only increased with each passing moment, and you both sat in silence for a while. Truthfully, you were wondering how much time had gone by while Megumi was unconscious. You felt like there was a weight in your heart, a lump in your throat, something that prevented you from speaking. 

You finally decided to speak up after some time. You needed a way to get him out of this place one way or another.

“Say, Megumi. What do you see me as?” Once you asked, he didn’t hesitate to respond. 

“The moon.”

"Even after so long you're still looking at me as if I were the moon," you chuckled. 

"...It's unfair." You whipped your head to face Megumi when you heard the crack in his voice. "What's unfair?" You shakily reached out for him, but stopped when tears began to stream down his face. 

“Megumi–”

"Not just the moon," he interrupted through his hiccups. "I wanted to make you my entire universe."

You sharply inhaled, and pulled him towards you. He clung onto you. You noticed how his hands were tightly gripping onto your shirt, and you gulped. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I’m sorry,” you said again, running your hand through his hair. 

“I never properly apologised to you for hurting you, did I? I’m sorry.”

The next few minutes were filled with apologies, his tears staining your sleeves. You pulled away after he stopped crying, your hand now tightly wrapped around his. “Megumi, listen. You have unfinished business. You need to get up and go, or I'll kill you myself.” 

“Don't steal my lines,” he weakly croaked out in between sobs.

Megumi sighed and wiped his tears away, finally standing up. He couldn’t help but notice your hand tightening around his just a little after he helped you stand.

“I’m gonna miss this feeling once you go,” you confessed to him, fingers now running over his calloused knuckles.

“I have a request, Megumi,” you said, smiling at him. “I know I told you to move on, and I won’t appear in your but remember me every once in a while, okay? Somehow, I feel that there isn’t another soul that’ll remember me for anything good I’ve done,” and he bites his lips at your words. It’s true, everyone will forget you.

“Hey, wait,” Megumi says before you pull away from him. “Do you think I’m going to be alone when it’s my turn to die?” he asked. 

You wondered for a while, then responded, “You won’t,” you said as you interlaced your fingers together. “You’ll be surrounded by so many people, and they’ll be there to help you live on for so much longer, I’d doubt you ever died,” you continued. 

“Even if you are, and you feel alone” you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him goodbye one last time. “I’ll be here to kiss your lonely soul,” you teased, and he smiled before you detached yourself from him and turned around to walk away. 

“Don’t take that as an invitation to come here early!”

“Oh! And let’s meet up on that mountain again. Under the tree!” you waved. 

-

Megumi’s eyes opened. He looked around him. There were remnants of curses that weren’t there before he became unconscious. 

“He’s awake!” Yuji shouted, and Nobara came over to help him walk to the car they came in with Nitta. 

“We got worried about you since you didn’t come back,” the pink haired male said, helping him into the car before the both of them got to (aggressively) bandaging him up. He looks at the clock at the front of the car. It’s late. 

Once they got back, Megumi got out and began walking in the direction towards the cliffs. “Hey! We need you to get checked by Shoko! She’s been waiting ever since we started searching for you!” 

He groaned, but begrudgingly followed them, and all the way throughout his check-up, he’s only been thinking about everything you’ve said to him. The minute it was over, he darted out the door and ran for the cliffs. 

Megumi was panting slightly when he got there. He went right after the mission, with blood still staining his uniform. The moon hung high in the sky, watching as he summoned his demon dogs and began digging the spot under the tree. Megumi began clawing at the soil using his hands at one point, getting dirt stuck in between his nails and fingers. He only stopped when he found a slightly rusted metal box.

The boy didn’t know what to expect inside, taking a deep breath and gulping before his shaky hands lifted the cover of the box. 

Megumi saw a few pictures of you and him, some of the accessories you wore, a book, and a piece of letter that had been neatly folded. 

He sat down under the tree and unfolded the letter, and began reading.

My blessing,

Truthfully, I don’t really remember my first day at the school anymore, because when I stepped foot into campus, my goal was to get information from all of you, acting like a shadow that didn’t exist. I know that I felt alone before that, but before I knew it, I had been shone upon by stars that burnt brighter than even the sun, but yet, you seemed to be the darkest shadow among all the students.

I planned to die from the first day, but I only made it worse by getting closer to all of you. Had I not done so, you wouldn’t be feeling any of the grief you do. 

I’ve only been in your life for a few months, Megumi. I want to think I’ve made a change in your life., because I’m looking back on it right now, and you’ve made such a big impact in my life. All of you. 

Come to think of it, we never got to see spring together. Next time we see each other, let’s meet in spring, so we can have picnics at night while wishing upon the stars, just like children do.

And I’ll make sure I’ll be the one to greet you first, because you were the one who waved to me first in this life. 

Let’s meet again in a more forgiving world.

-

He held the letter in his hands after he read it, trying to figure out what he felt about it. His eyes are blank, and he’s cried so much for you that he doesn’t know if he has the energy for it anymore. 

A heavy feeling settles on his heart as he sets the letter down and picks the book up. It was a book he’s wanted for a while, something he mentioned to you once while you were stargazing, but he never brought it up to you again afterwards. 

Megumi flips open the cover, and there are wilted sakura blooms pressed flatly against the blank page, along with your handwriting. 

“They bloomed early this year, Happy Valentines Day, Megumi.”

He continued flipping through the pages, and you had annotated the book, highlighting everything you felt he would look back at, the cute moments between the people in the book that reminded you of the both of you, and a bookmark made of wilted flowers that bloomed all year round on the page of the couple’s wedding.  

Suddenly, he feels tears in his eyes again, and they overflow and drip onto the pages, slightly staining them. You told him to move on, but how could he? It was obvious you were lying to him again. You never planned to die. Even if you did, it’s obvious you never wanted to die. You wanted to spend your life with him. You wanted to swim in the ocean at night together, you wanted to wake up next to him, go on dates to carnivals just to ride the ferris wheel and admire the view of Tokyo.

And then it finally sunk into his soul that he’d never see you again. Not now, at least.

His hold around the book tightened, and he hugged his knees close to his chest. He wished on every universe that you’d somehow appear beside him and wipe his tears away, chasing away the heavy feeling in his heart. He knows the feeling is temporary, and it’ll go away in a while, but he feels so alone. 

By the time he finally stands up, his legs ache from how long he’s been sitting on the ground, and the sun is peeking through the horizon. He’s been consumed by his own thoughts for hours, and he thinks maybe it’s in his mind, but just as he turned around to walk away, a breeze of air went by him, and it felt as if something hugged him, just for a second. 

The universe is watching over him after all.

-

February 14th, two years after your death.

Megumi’s back at your spot again. This time, there’s a grave he had made for you, with a few plants planted beside it, and the ribbons tied around the stems sway in the wind. He sits down beside it and his fingers graze the tips of the soft grass. 

He closes his eyes, and he realises he can no longer remember what you look like. Well, not really. He remembers clearly what you look like. He still has the picture all of you took at the mall together, and he holds it dearly, but all of them have grown, and it’s not enough to remember you anymore.

There are new scars around their bodies, they’ve grown taller, become stronger. Megumi wonders what you would’ve looked like if you stood beside him now.

He looks around him, and maybe that’s his answer. The grass is greener, the trees have grown taller, the waves of the ocean are just as if not even more calming now…

You would’ve turned out just fine.

He can’t remember how many times he’s reread the book you’ve given him, but he finds himself turning to the page where the two lovers separated. 

“Do you think we’ll be like this forever?” the protagonist asked her partner, and you highlighted the phrase, a small note made in the gaps between words.

“Not forever, but definitely for a long time.”

-

Year ????

A young male with black coloured hair is walking through a park in Tokyo. The sun is shining brightly, and there are sakura flowers blooming. Some petals have fallen onto the sidewalk and grass, and he inhales deeply before stopping to admire… Everything. 

The world looks especially pretty today. He doesn’t know why, but the sky seemed to shine just a little brighter. 

A rare smile graces his lips, and he spots his friends and teacher waiting for him under one of the trees, all set and ready for a picnic. Someone taps his shoulder just before he takes a step forward, and he turns around to face someone with a face that seemed too familiar. 

You.

He sees you. You, who’s waving at him with that smile on your face that he adored.

by user @ aireia, do not plagiarize and/or translate.

[musingmeaninglessly]

The Show; Aged Up!Lo'ak x Curvy/Chubby Human!Reader

A/N; So, this whole idea was sparked by this random post I did. I can just see Lo'ak showering his girl in so much praise and worshipping her human outfits. So, this one is for all the thicc girls like me out there...

Photos are not mine, and got the art from this blog. Full credits go to the artist!

Warnings; Curvy/chubby fem human reader, aged up Lo'ak, mentions of bad body image, swearing (it's Lo'ak, after all), suggestive/almost NSFW, Lo'ak being an utter simp for you (yes, that should be a warning). Not proofread.

Summary; When you give Lo'ak a little private fashion show of all your cute human outfits, he finally persuades you to brave the Na'vi-style clothing he gifted you months ago...

"Baby, come on! You been in there for like..."

"Two whole minutes..."

Your giggle is audible to Lo'ak through the bathroom door even from where he's sprawled on your tiny bed. After taking a puff of CO2 from his mask, he lets out an overly dramatic sigh.

"That's two minutes too long! How long does it take to put on a...what's it called again?"

"A bikini?"

Lo'ak grins at the unfamiliar human word. It sounds so cute, especially when it comes from you. But he's sure it won't be nearly as cute as you'll look in the garment.

"Yes, bikini."

His accent sounds even thicker as he pronounces the word, causing you to giggle as you emerge from your tiny bathroom in the equally tiny bikini.

"Holy shit..."

Your boyfriend's reaction makes you blush, but you do a little twirl for him all the same.

Being a thicker, softer girl meant that you hadn't always embraced these smaller pieces of swimwear. Even with your early teenage years on earth, you'd always cover up. But a certain 8 ft alien boy had brought you our of your shell.

"Baby, you look so fire in this! Look at the way it hugs your cute little belly and your waist..."

Lo'ak can't help reaching his big hands out to lightly grab at your flesh, his childish mauling eliciting a chuckle from you.

"You really like it?"

His amber eyes shoot up to you in a moment as though your questioning him was the greatest offence on Pandora.

"No baby..." his shit-eating smirk tells you what's to come. What he always says, "I love it."

Your cheeks blush furiously at that, but you give him a little peck on the lips all the same. You don't even bother to try and get out of the needy grip he has on your waist. But it turns out you don't have to at all, as he suddenly glances at your dresser with mischievous eyes.

"Baby?" you question, watching your tall boyfriend lumber over to the chest of drawers, knocking over a few items on his way. With a playful scowl you pick them up, but can't help tilting your head at him in amusement as he begins rummaging through your dresser. "Baby, what are you doing?"

"Looking for something." he states matter-of-factly.

"I can see that, but what?"

"That outfit I gave you when we first got together."

There's a warmth and gentleness in the smile that he flashes over his shoulder at you, and you gulp a little in response.

In truth, you've always been damn-well petrified to sport the tiny beaded top and loin cloth that Lo'ak gifted you months ago. They're beautiful, made of sea grass from the reef and studded with tiny turquoise beads.

But it's a very open weave, and you have no doubt that Lo'ak made them that way on purpose.

"Here they are! You got so many clothes in here, Jesus Christ."

You laugh at your Na'vi boyfriend's use of such a human expression. He learnt it from his Dad, for sure, but it was also testament to how much time he spends with you.

Blue hands outstretched, he holds up the garments. You eye them for a moment too long, and he immediately knows what's going through your little human brain.

"Baby, I know you've never worn something like this before," he crouches down on his knees so he's somewhat at your eye level, and continues in a husky whisper, "but you'd look fine as hell in these..."

"Lo'ak, I'm just too-"

"Beautiful? Divine? Sexy?" His yellow eyes glimmer mischievously. "Please, just put them on for me baby. Just this one time. Please?"

He knows damn well that you can't resist his eyes, lined with long lashes and the colour of molten gold. With a roll of your own eyes, you smile softly and take the pieces of clothing from his awaiting hands.

With a self-satisfied smirk, he watches you saunter off to the bathroom to change.

-

"Baby, I'm gonna die out here if you take any longer! C'mon..."

You snort in derision as you stare at yourself in the tiny bathroom mirror. If anyone's gonna die in this place today, it's you. From embarrassment.

Turning your body every which way, you sigh. Just as you suspected, the minuscule garments leave very little to the imagination, if anything.

Lo'ak's such a perv...

You appreciated your boyfriend's crafting these clothes for you. It showed how much he wanted to assimilate you into his culture. How much you mean to him.

But, despite the fact that the clothes are meant to make you feel more included in Na'vi life, they also highlight how different you are from them.

How your curved waist differs from the lithe structure of Na'vi women. How the thin straps of the loin cloth show off the pronounced softness of your hips and belly. How the stretch marks decorating the tops of your thighs have nowhere to hide.

It's one thing to compare yourself to other human girls, but this is a whole new kettle of fish.

"Baby!"

You're snapped out of your vicious cycle of thoughts by your needy boyfriend. Part of you couldn't bare to, well, lay yourself more-or-less bare for him. But, you know that he won't quit his pestering unless you do.

With one last withering glance directed at your reflection, you take a deep breath before calling back, "Coming!"

Despite the fact that your bathroom is the mere size of a closet, and your bedroom not much bigger, the walk to your boyfriend feels like a damn marathon.

Gnawing at your bottom lip nervously, you clear your throat to catch his attention. It seems that you'd taken so long to pick yourself apart in the mirror, he'd resorted to flopping on your bed. You wondered if he'd taken a short nap in the time it took you to put the Na'vi clothing on.

But when he sits up, it's clear that he's very much awake...

"Baby..." Lo'ak's voice comes out in a husky whisper, laced with want. "Fuck..."

"I know, I know, it doesn't look quite right on me-"

"No."

Your eyes widen at his stern tone. He's always such a joker, such a playful flirt. But looking into his eyes now, hearing his voice, you've never seen him so serious.

"No," he clarified again, "it looks perfect. God it just...shows everything off just right..."

He groans, letting his large hands roam freely. His grip is firm and possessive, yet appreciative and gentle all at once. Barely an inch of your body goes untouched, and you're too dumbstruck to make your usual quips about him being so handsy.

In fact, this excites you. A lot.

"You really like it that much?"

Your question is like deja vu from earlier, but this moment is different somehow. Heated. Wanton. Desperate.

Lo'ak reluctantly detaches one of his hands from your soft belly, instead using his long fingers to hook under your chin with a feather-like touch. He eyes you through those long lashes of his, his fangs peaking out above his bottom lip as his breathing grows erratic as his voice drops an octave;

"You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?"

All you can do is blink down at him and slowly shake your head, inching a little closer. Since he's sat on your bed, holding you stood between his thighs, you're more-or-less at eye level. He takes the opportunity to tease you, going in for a kiss before pausing as his lips brush yours and he whispers in a gravelly tone.

"Why don't I show you, then?"

[fluentmoviequoter]

Could you do fluff fic for David 'Deacon' Kay with wife reader where brought something from her bakery to the station just to see her husband? Just fluff and romantic. Thanks!!

Of course!! This is such a cute idea! I think there's even potential for a continuation/pt. 2 if anyone is interested.🤍

Edit: Part 2 Here! >

Warnings: just lots of fluff, a bit of teasing, baker!wife!reader. 1.4k+ words.

Picture from Pinterest

Sweet as You

Early mornings with Deacon are your favorite. Since you opened your own bakery after getting married, you and Deacon have grown into a routine of slow, loving mornings with one another.

Today, you find yourself in the kitchen long before the sun rises, testing a new recipe that popped into your mind. Humming, you slide the muffin tins into the oven and wipe your hands on a nearby tea towel.

“You’re up early,” Deacon says, wrapping his arms around you as he enters the kitchen. “You’re supposed to wake me up.”

“You were really tired,” you argue, turning to hug him. “And I had an idea I wanted to try.”

Deacon nods, kissing your forehead as he sways you gently.

“Remember when we went on date nights? When we could stay awake for them?” you ask.

“I do. Although I think I like this version of us much better.”

You kiss the underside of Deacon’s jaw, sighing in contentment. The quiet moments never last long, but they’re amazing while they do.

“I’m supposed to get off around the same time as you on Friday. We can have a long weekend together,” Deacon suggests.

“Sounds perfect.”

“Like you?”

“Like you.”

Deacon smiles as he drops his chin to kiss you, tugging you as close as possible before the oven timer beeps. He releases you to remove your muffins, waiting until you’re safely away from the heat to pull you close again.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you,” you reply. “Take a muffin or two; though I can’t promise they taste good.”

Deacon’s eyes drop to your lips, choosing to kiss you rather than taste a muffin.

✯✯✯✯✯

After the initial rush of opening the bakery, the area grows quiet, and business slows. Mornings in Los Angeles are unpredictable, and as you sit idly, waiting for a customer, you decide to be the customer. Ensuring someone is available to take orders, you begin baking a few crowd favorites and Deacon’s choice. Every cop you’ve met enjoys baked goods occasionally, and your desire to see Deacon is more than enough to encourage you to make more than you can carry to deliver to the LAPD.

Once you’ve finished loading too many boxes into your passenger seat, you cross your fingers that Deacon isn’t out on a call as you drive to the station, setting your sights on S.W.A.T. HQ. 

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon sighs, sitting back against the wall after a round of weight training. It’s been a slow day, and 20-David has been relegated to training and waiting. Hondo finishes sparring with Street and walks toward Deacon, chuckling in amusement as he sits beside him.

“Bored yet?” Hondo jokes.

“Better to be here than risk not getting home to my wife, I suppose,” Deacon hums.

“I don’t suppose, I know. She’d kill me if anything happened to you, so I’m happy to watch you sit here with nothing to do.”

Deacon chuckles before turning suddenly, watching the door. Hondo shakes his head, well aware of Deacon’s sixth sense. Whenever you’re close, expected or not, Deacon knows.

As Hondo expected, you step around the corner, your arms full of boxes from the bakery. Deacon rushes to your side, taking some of the load off your arms.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, smiling when he moves a box away from your face.

“I wanted to see you,” you whisper conspiratorially. Luca joins your other side, and you add, “I figured the best S.W.A.T. team could use a pick-me-up, especially if your day is going as slowly as mine.”

Luca helps you and Deacon set the boxes down. Nearly immediately, you are surrounded by police officers eating your treats. As they thank you and compliment your baking abilities, you watch Deacon take a box off the table before approaching your side.

“Excuse us,” he says, taking your hand in his and leading you away from the hungry cops swarming your delivery.

Leading you into a quiet office, Deacon sets the box down and pulls you into a hug.

“Thanks for coming,” he says.

You return his hug, squeezing him gently as you enjoy his presence again.

“I missed you,” Deacon tells you.

“You saw me a few hours ago.”

“I didn’t get to try a muffin then.”

You smile at Deacon’s teasing, leaning against him to kiss his cheek. He steps back, pulling you with him, as he opens the box of his favorites. Each time he visits you in the bakery (which doesn't happen enough), he buys a box and promises not to share it with his team. He has no problem telling you what he does and doesn’t like, but his favorite taste-testing activity is kissing you while you bake. It's only been a few hours since he last did that, but he still missed you.

“You’re almost as sweet as the new chocolate brittle,” you murmur, brushing your fingers across Deacon’s jaw.

“Only because of you, sweetheart.”

Smiling at his attention and kind words, you duck your head under Deacon’s chin. He wraps an arm around you, rubbing your back comfortingly.

“I love you. And now you have a whole lot of cops who love you too.”

“They love sugar, not me.”

“Good,” Deacon decides. “Because I can’t take them all at once.”

“You wouldn’t have to,” you promise. “I only want you.”

You glance over Deacon’s shoulder, laughing at the sight of the empty box. “Did you really eat all of those while hugging me?”

“I can multi-task. Two sources of sweetness.”

You groan and tip your head back, though your loving gaze betrays your faux tiredness as Deacon pulls you under his arm, leading you back out to see the rest of the empty boxes.

“Do you have more?” Hondo asks, batting his eyelashes as he clasps his hands before his chest.

“Yep. Everything is on sale right now, too,” you answer. 

Deacon laughs beside you, and you feel complete. And hungry; those cookies and scones smelled delicious.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Deac,” you whisper, pressing a hand to his chest. “Deacon, handsome, baby, love of my life.”

He sighs, moving closer to you without waking. 

“David,” you try, laughing when his eyes snap open. “I made breakfast but you need to get up if you want time to eat it.”

“You called me David,” he says, groggy as he gets out of the bed and reaches for you. “Sorry.”

Chuckling again, you take his extended hand and promise, “You’re not in trouble. You just wouldn’t wake up.”

Deacon nods, letting you lead him to the kitchen and show him the array of food on the table. He tugs you into his lap, telling you he won’t eat unless you do. He drives a hard bargain, but you agree after he kisses the side of your neck and whispers that he loves you.

✯✯✯✯✯

The day after surprising the LAPD with a delivery, your bakery is crowded all day, with police and firefighters coming in and out from opening until closing.

When you unlock the front door, there’s a small group of police officers waiting, smiling as you let them in and ordering what they heard about from their buddies and anything else that looks good.

“You’re Sergeant Kay’s wife?” one of them asks.

“I am,” you answer, passing him a box.

“I see why he talks about you so much.”

You smile at the idea of Deacon talking about you at work, then go to the back to bake more items as you notice you’re running low. Meeting officers who know your husband, those who heard about your bakery in passing, and the firefighters who were jealous you chose the police station over the fire station makes the day go by quickly. Although by the time you close, you’re exhausted.

Walking into your house, Deacon is waiting, and you collapse beside him on the couch, turning your face against his shoulder and releasing all of the tension from the busy day.

“Word get out?” Deacon asks playfully, turning you gently to kiss you.

You nod, returning the kiss and sighing. When Deacon pulls back, you sit against his side, leaning so you can see him.

“Maybe I should just open a bakery in the station. But then the firefighters would get jealous again,” you muse.

“And be within walking distance?” Deacon asks with a huff. “I’d never get anything done.”

“Weekly visits then?”

“I think we could handle that. But make the firefighters pay for it.”

Deacon pulls you into another kiss as he finishes, and you chuckle against his lips, wondering how you got so lucky.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 26

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military Universe

Words: 5k

TW: Violence

Masterlist

———————————————————————

 Wednesday, December 23; 8:00 PM - Home

A few days have passed since I returned to Barcelona. I’ve never enjoyed a vacation so much. There hasn't been a single moment of boredom. Mapi has practically been living at my place since I got back. As usual, her parents are off living their own lives without her, so she’s living hers without them. Sunday was fantastic. Joan was over the moon when we took him to the amusement park. He hadn’t realized I’d be staying for two whole weeks, so when he understood I’d be here longer than usual, he was ecstatic.

I haven’t told him yet that I’ll be leaving earlier for New Year’s, but he’ll probably be too busy to notice. As always, my mom and Marcus will take him to celebrate New Year’s with friends who have a child his age. In any case, I’ll make a resolution to keep in touch with him more regularly. He’s missed me so much that she hasn’t left our side even once. Not during our movie and TV marathon on Saturday, not during our day at the skate park the next day, and especially not when we went to the ice rink. Those were incredible days.

Today, we decided it would be a relaxation day. Joan is at a friend’s house, so we spent our morning at the beauty salon. We got waxed and had our nails done for Christmas Eve. My family will be coming over tomorrow. I usually take care of myself, but this time we wanted to be pampered. Well, it was mainly Mapi who was dying for it. She couldn’t let go of the idea. So, I sucked it up and wore clothes that didn’t require me to undress completely. She’s lucky I appreciate the results. We continued the day with lunch at a restaurant in town, and then we went to the pool. It was so much fun. It seems like it just opened, so there weren’t many people, and we could relax as we should.

Now, here we are, standing in line for the cinema. It must be around 8:00 PM. It’s a way to do something relaxing without being cooped up in my room. I found out while she was in the shower that she’s been harassed by Ana. Apparently, Ana is sorry and wants Mapi back. I was relieved to see she hadn’t responded to any of the texts, but also slightly hurt that she hadn’t told me. I respect her silence, though. I haven’t brought it up with her, afraid she might shut down. That doesn’t stop me from being a good friend. I noticed she’s been glancing at her phone whenever she gets the chance today. I sense she’s about to crack, so I’ve done everything in my power to keep her busy. It’s clear she’s not doing as well as she pretends, although I imagine our days full of activities help her not think about it.

It’s time to pay for our tickets. I don’t even know what movie we’re going to see. I let Mapi choose since I haven’t been keeping up with new releases while I was at Camp Wiegman. We have similar tastes, so I’m not worried. Mapi insists on stopping by the concession stand for some popcorn. I take the opportunity to grab a drink, which she ends up getting too. We then have our tickets validated and head into our theater. We’re half an hour early, so I’m not surprised to find the place empty. We settle in a corner at the top. Mapi is never quiet during a movie, no matter where we are. She has the annoying habit of commenting on every action. Needless to say, it annoys everyone around us. It used to irritate me too, but over time, I started commenting with her. We’ve gotten to the point where if we’re watching a movie at home, we pick one we’ve already seen to make sure we understand the content.

I still make the effort to go to the movies with her, thinking I can always rewatch the film online if it seems good. It reminds me that Lucy had offered to lend me some movies, but she never did. I doubt she remembers. That conversation must have been over a month ago. I feel a pang of guilt, realizing I haven’t written to her since returning to Miami. Then again, she hasn’t written to me either. After all, she’s just my supervisor; I shouldn’t worry. She’s made it clear more than once that we can’t be friends while I’m her student.

"Isn’t that Miller and Bryan down there?" Mapi asks me.

I scan the area, looking for two heads that could be our friends. I smile when I spot them a few rows below us, completely on the opposite side. It’s impossible for them to see us. I notice their little gestures of affection, which are so cute.

"Yeah, it looks like it."

"Should we call out to them? I mean, we could see them at the same time."

"They’re on a date, leave them alone. We’ll catch up with them after the movie."

Mapi nods in agreement. The lights dim shortly after. To be honest, I’m still having a hard time seeing them as a couple, but they’re so adorable. To think that a few years ago, it was us as a couple and them as best friends. At least Mapi and I were lucky not to lose each other. She clumsily apologized for kissing me spontaneously. I couldn’t blame her for needing affection. Few people manage to stay on good terms with their ex, but I’m glad we did. She was my rock back then, and I won’t forget what she did for me. My feelings were mixed when we first reconnected, but I quickly pushed them aside, realizing it wasn’t mutual anymore. I never knew if that was truly the case, but I guess she was just protecting herself.

The ads fade away, and the movie begins. As I predicted, Mapi comments on every action, but today it’s a bit different. She also starts complimenting the women in the film. She seems to find them beautiful and amazing She’s lucky I’m  lesbianand find some truth in her words; otherwise, I’d get bored quickly. I join in, telling her my preferences. I’ve always preferred brunettes, even dark-haired ones,I find them more attractive and mysterious.

“Tell me an actress you find hot.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Just because. Someone you’d want in your bed.”

“I don’t want anyone in my bed.”

“You know exactly what I mean! Like if you had the chance to go on a date with an actress... Or a celebrity, whatever. Who would you choose?”

“Your question is really dumb.”

“Come on, play along. Give me a name.”

I think about it, running my hand through my hair. I have no idea. I don’t have a favorite actress or anything like that.

“I don’t know. Mila Kunis?” I say randomly.

“Mila Kunis?” she repeats. “Hmm… Not bad, true. Does she look like Bronze?”

I roll my eyes. And there she goes again, bringing up the subject. I don’t know what’s gotten into her with Lucy lately, but she keeps asking me questions about her.

“No,” I shut down.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just that I wonder what she looks like. I have the right to be curious. Here, compare her to Mila Kunis so I can get an idea.”

I can’t believe it when she pulls up a picture of the actress on her phone. I already know she won’t leave me alone until she gets her answers. I sigh and look at the photo carefully to make a comparison.

“Lucy has a much finer nose and much fuller lips. As for her eyes, they’re almond-shaped and green, much more sparkling than the dark eyes Mila Kunis has in this picture. And her hair leans more towards a brown shade than black.”

Mapi nods seriously. She seems to be creating an image of my supervisor in her head. Her silence makes me wonder if I went too far with my details. I realize just how much I’ve observed her to know so much about her appearance. She finally turns to me with a small smile forming on her lips.

“She must be cute.”

“She is.”

“Is she taller than you?”

I think back, trying to recall moments that might give me an answer to this question. I nod eventually.

“Yeah. But only by a few centimeters.”

“So, you claim you’re not interested in her, but you can tell me details like that about her?”

A smug smile spreads across her face, and I realize my mistake. I knew it was a bad idea to tell her all that.

“You’re exasperating, Mapi.”

“And yet, I didn’t even point out that you called her Lucy. So that’s her little name?”

I groan at her teasing. I slowly run my hand over my face to avoid losing my temper.

“Where’s her part in her hair?”

“Mostly in the middle, but sometimes she moves it to the left side.”

The words slip out before I can hold them back. I’m surprised myself at how easily I answered. How did I retain such subtle information about her? Damn brain. Mapi mocks me without restraint.

“Just as I thought.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh, no, not at all,” she smiles foolishly.

“Yeah, whatever,” I mumble. 

I sink into my seat, crossing my arms, clearly upset that my mind could betray me like that. How did I answer so instinctively? Lucy is my supervisor. Sure, she’s beautiful and attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’m interested.

Mapi tries to insist one more time, but she’s met with "shhhhht" sounds from all around. I think we’ve reached our chatter limit. It doesn’t seem to calm Mapi, who starts laughing at every scene that’s even slightly funny. No matter how much I ask her to calm down, it feels like she’s doing it on purpose to annoy our neighbors. They’re starting to get really angry, but fortunately, the movie is coming to an end. I wouldn’t have bet on our safety if it had lasted any longer. We hurry out of the theater as soon as the credits roll to avoid facing the hateful glares of the other viewers. Sometimes I wonder if we’re really civilized. Right now, I’d say no. I instantly regret our rush when we run into the one person we would’ve wanted to avoid on this earth. Mapi instinctively takes a defensive stance in front of me. Feli doesn’t take her eyes off me for a second, as if I’m the only one there.

- "Ona-..."

- "Don’t talk to her," Mapi interrupts in a sharp tone.

- "That’s not for you to decide."

- "Forget it. Let’s go, Mapi..."

I grab her arm, and I couldn’t say if it’s to pull her away with me or to stop her from doing something she might regret—or not. Mapi stays rooted to the spot, glaring daggers at my ex. I can understand her urge to tear her apart for what she did, right here and now. However, this is neither the time nor the place. All I want is to get out of here. I realize that’s not her intention when she violently shakes off my grip.

- "Get out of the way," she growls.

- "No," she says, stepping forward. "You know, Ona... I thought I’d see you again after what I injected you with."

A shiver runs down my spine as she admits this, never taking her eyes off me. No... I can’t believe it. She didn’t just say that.

- "I’m disappointed to see you in such a normal state..."

I feel myself wavering as she manages to slip past Mapi’s defenses to stroke my hand. Her gesture, which should be gentle, sends me spiraling back into a whirlpool of memories. I’m disconnected from my senses until Mapi’s fist slamming into Feli’s face brings me back to reality. Her punch is so powerful that she crashes to the ground, her mouth agape.

- "That’s for what you did to my best friend. And this is for sleeping with my girlfriend, you bitch!"

Her words are followed by a kick to her stomach. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mapi this angry. I’m so caught up in the scene that I jump when an arm wraps around my shoulders. I struggle against the unexpected contact, but calm down when I see Bryan by my side. Meanwhile, Miller is grabbing my best friend by the waist, pulling her away from Feli before the situation escalates further. Security has been called. They arrived just in time to restrain my ex, who was about to fight back. The guys managed to defuse the situation by announcing our departure. However, Mapi isn’t willing to leave it at that.

"Don't let her go!" she spits out. "She's gone mad, and she's stalking my friend. She even just admitted in front of everyone that she drugged her to get her back! You better not let her follow us, or I'll press charges against you!"

"Mapi, that's enough," says Miller, trying to calm her down.

"No, it's not enough! That bitch deserves what’s coming to her!"

"Let's just leave, please."

Bryan nods and leads me towards the exit. Thankfully, Miller is strong enough to drag Mapi out with us after apologizing to the officers. I'm struggling to process the whole encounter. It feels like I'm in shock. Mapi keeps cursing under her breath to vent her frustration, which isn't helping me pull myself together. If the guys hadn't intervened, things could've gone really wrong. It's only when we get outside that Mapi notices my state. She immediately pulls me into her arms.

"Are you okay?" she murmurs.

I want to answer her, but no words come out. I try to nod to reassure her, but it’s all lies. Feli drugged me. She really drugged me to make me relapse. How can I be okay? I can't even tell if she went further because I have no memory of it. For all I know... No, I don't even want to think about it.

"How about we forget this whole incident by grabbing a drink?" Miller suggests. "We wanted to catch up, so now's the time."

Mapi agrees without consulting me, so I have no choice but to go along. Miller drives us there in his car. Mapi and I are in the back. She's set her anger aside to try to lift my spirits. It's a lost cause, but I appreciate the effort. When we get to the bar, I wait just long enough to order a drink before excusing myself. I need to be alone and get some air. Mapi didn’t want to let me go out alone, but Miller convinced her. I couldn’t be more grateful. I sit on the curb once outside, burying my head in my arms to collect my thoughts. The evening has gone by too fast. I can't fully grasp everything that happened. After a while, I pull my phone out of my pocket and fidget with it, debating whether to call her or not. I realize I should've done it days ago. I muster up the courage to do it now. One ring... Two... Three... My heart stops when the beeping ends.

"Hello?"

Her voice echoes in my head. I can't find the words to speak. My lower lip trembles so much it affects me. I never thought hearing her voice would make me feel so relieved.

"Ona?" she presses, sensing my silence.

I let my head fall back into my arms as a sob escapes, one I can't hold back. Why do I always turn to her only when I’m not okay? She deserves so much better, even if she doesn’t want me as a friend.

"I'm sorry for calling so late..." I say between sniffles.

« It’s not late in Manchester " she replies calmly. "What's going on?"

"No... I—We’re halfway through the week... I- I should’ve called you much sooner," I murmur.

"It doesn’t matter, as long as you're okay. But you're not, are you?"

"I'm sorry for only talking to you when I need something," I say, choking up.

"Hey, that’s not true, and you know it."

"Yes, it is!" I cry out.

"Don’t raise your voice like that," she scolds me.

"S-sorry... I-I shouldn’t have."

She sighs long and hard, making me cry even harder. I feel so pathetic. I shouldn’t have called her now. I couldn’t even talk to Mapi, so there’s no way I’d be able to do it with Lucy either. I should've waited until I was more composed.

"Hey, Ona. I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to tell me something. Anything," she orders sternly.

"You don’t have the right to give me orders from afar," I say, managing a weak smile.

I joke to lighten the mood. I hear her laugh, which warms my heart. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and tighten my jacket, remembering I’m wearing hers. I couldn't find one that suited me when we were at the mall. I guess it’s because I’m already too attached to this one.

"I have every right over you. Have you forgotten?"

"It seems I have," I murmur.

"Enough joking... You didn’t call for no reason, did you?"

I groan, shaking my head. I feel foolish now that she's voicing the truth. I would've hung up a long time ago if I were her.

"Come on, spill it. You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t need to."

I rest my head on my arm, thinking for a moment. I do need this, that’s for sure, but how do I say it without breaking down completely? A silence falls between us that neither of us breaks. She’s waiting for an answer.

"It’s her..." I finally whisper.

"Her? You’ll have to be clearer if you want me to understand anything," she chuckles.

"Feli, my ex, the junkie. S-she’s the one who drugged me the other night. W-We ran into her with Mapi, and she admitted it. I—"

"Hey, calm down. Why are you reacting like this? Isn’t this supposed to be good news?" she asks. "It proves it wasn’t you who did it. That’s what you wanted to know, right? I think it’s a good thing. You didn’t relapse on your own."

How does she manage to find something positive in this mess?! I’m tearing my hair out, tormented. I know she's trying to reassure me, but she’d change her tune if she knew how seeing him again affected me. She can't know because she doesn’t know what he put me through.

"Well... If you say so..."

"Come on, dry your tears. You look so much cuter with a smile on your face."

She’s really trying to cheer me up. I smile timidly and run my fingers under my eyes to wipe away the black streaks of makeup that have probably run.

"So, how’s your vacation going, besides all that?" she suddenly changes the subject.

"Good... I’m enjoying it like you advised me to. And you?"

"Same here. I’m seeing my family and leaving for Portugal early tomorrow morning for a few days."

"You’re so lucky. I wish I could go back there too..."

"I can imagine. How’s Mapi? Is she doing better?"

"Yeah, she’s okay. We’re spending all our days together."

"Do you already have plans for New Year’s?"

"Yeah, I’m heading back to Manchester early. Leah and Alessia are hosting a party at their place."

"Oh. So Mapi agreed then."

"Yeah, it’ll be good for her to get a change of scenery. It was either that or we’d spend the night alone at my place."

"I see," she laughs. "That wouldn’t be the worst thing either."

"For you, maybe, but definitely not for Mapi. She’s never experienced anything like that at home."

"That’s a shame. Do you already know where you’ll be staying before school starts again?"

I stay silent. Honestly, I haven’t thought about it. Lucy laughs heartily. I hide my smile, rubbing my cheeks against the sleeves of my jacket. Damn. I’ve missed hearing her laugh so much.

"You haven’t thought about it, have you?"

"Not really, no," I admit with flushed cheeks. "I guess I’ll try to negotiate a spot with the Leah and Alessia, and if they can’t put me up, I’ll get a hotel room."

"A hotel?" she scoffs. "Don’t be silly. If you really have nowhere to stay, let me know, okay?"

"Oh no, don’t worry. I’ll manage."

"I’m serious. I’m not going to let you stay on the streets. Knowing you, you’d get lost."

"Ha ha ha, very funny!" I laugh sarcastically.

"It’s true," she giggles. "By the way, where are you? I can hear cars passing by."

"In the street, outside," I say with a smile, knowing how she’ll react.

"Excuse me?"

I can picture her frowning with a stern look on her face. Why am I still smiling like an idiot? Lucy must have this effect on me.

"I’m in the street, outside a bar," I repeat.

My smile widens even more. She’s definitely going to scold me. I start an unconscious countdown in my head. I reach zero just as she raises her voice through the phone.

"You’ve got to be kidding me!"

"No."

"Oh, so let me get this straight. One bad moment, and you’re ready to get wasted? If that’s your plan, you’d better head home!"

"Relax, I’m not alone. Mapi’s with me."

"And that’s supposed to make me feel better?" she grumbles. "She was with you last time too!"

I laugh, realizing she’s right. That night, she left me for her girlfriend, and she wasn’t in any better shape than I was. I don’t think Lucy noticed when she had her on the phone. If she had, she wouldn’t have trusted her to get me home. One thing I know is that I did the right thing by calling her. Without her, I would’ve ended the night with a brain in pieces.

"I’m with two other friends. I don’t intend to drink. If I did, I wouldn’t be sitting on the curb talking to you. I’d be inside drinking."

"Hmm," she says, skeptical. "You’d better text me every five minutes to update me on your sobriety once this call is over."

"If you want," I say with a smile. "Aren’t you going out tonight?"

"No. I have to get up early, so I’m enjoying a quiet evening in my apartment."

"Oh, I’m bothering you then."

"Don’t be ridiculous. I’m happy to talk to you."

"Oh really...? Me too," I admit. "I never thought I’d miss your bossy attitude this much. I keep thinking about what you’d say when I’m in an awkward situation," I chuckle.

"It’s been a while since you’ve called me that. I hope you’re at least listening to that little voice if you’re hearing it."

I hold back a laugh. If she knew all the trouble Mapi has gotten me into... I’d end up doing more than just laps.

"Come on, you have to tell me all the nonsense you’ve been up to now."

I finally laugh softly. My long silence must have given me away.

"No, it’s better not to."

There’s a silver lining to the distance after all. She can’t reach me, let alone intimidate me with her eyes and gestures.

"I’m not kidding. If you come back as that little kid from the very beginning, you’re going to hear from me."

"Hey!" I exclaim, offended. "That girl is long gone."

"Hmm, she’d better be."

I jump when a hand lands on my shoulder. I look up to see that it’s just Mapi. She’s leaning her head to the side with a small smile. I relax my muscles and timidly return her smile.

"Feeling better? You seemed really upset when you came out."

"Yeah... I’m feeling better," I reassure her without taking the phone from my ear.

"Who’s on the phone? Is it the person who managed to bring that smile back to your face?"

"Hmm," I shrug. "It’s Bronze."

I instantly regret being honest when I see a dreamy smile appear on her lips. I’ve just fueled her imagination. Those mental movies of hers won’t be going away anytime soon

- "Hey, I thought I told you not to use my name anymore," comments Lucy through my phone with a hint of playfulness.

- "I'll call you whatever I want!"

- "What does your boss want?" asks Mapi.

- "Nothing. How's your hand?" I ask, noticing an ice pack on her fist.

- "Hurts, but it was worth it," she giggles.

Both of them start talking at the same time, as if they're having a conversation with each other even though they can't hear each other. I don't know where to turn my head. I can't even decipher their words. I groan as I run my hand over my eyes.

- "For heaven's sake, shut up!" I groan.

I open my eyes again when the silence finally falls. I glance at my best friend, who is staring at me with wide eyes.

- "Thank you," I sigh. "How's your hand?" I finally ask Mapi, noticing the ice pack on her fist again.

- "Hurts, but it was worth it," she giggles.

- "Thanks again..."

- "It's normal," she smiles softly. "Well, I'm going home. Don't stay out too late."

I nod as I watch her go back inside. I groan, massaging my temples. I hope she won't be too upset with me for raising my voice.

- "You guys just gave me a headache."

- "At least now you know how it feels when you drive me crazy," Lucy giggles.

- "Are you kidding? I've never yelled in your ears, and I'm not that crazy!"

- "Oh yes, you were! At least, you used to be," she giggles. "You still have your moments, but now I find it adorable as long as you don't overdo it."

- "Oh, come on," I mumble, hiding my blush.

- "The worst was during exam revision when you wouldn't let anyone say anything to you."

- "Hey! Sometimes it was worth it, I was right!"

- "It only happened once!"

- "Once, but that question was on the exam! Believe me, I answered it correctly."

- "Well, good for you, if you can remember things like that."

- "Yeah."

- "Okay, I'm going to let you go; you must be expected. Enjoy your evening, but not too much."

- "Already?"

I have a hard time hiding my disappointment. I would have preferred to spend the evening talking to her. Am I crazy for wanting that?

- "Yes," she laughs. "Enjoy your time with your friends. We'll have plenty of time to talk when you get back. And don't forget to moderate, or even avoid alcohol, okay?"

- "I'm twenty, Luce. I can moderate myself."

- "Hmm, you never know.The past proved me wrong."

- "Not here. Do you have Snapchat?"

- "Snapchat? Why are you asking?"

- "If you give it to me, I could send you pictures of my drinks to make sure I'm not drinking."

- "Of course," she laughs. "Even if you send me a picture of a soda, who’s to say you haven't mixed it with vodka? I'd need to smell the drink instead, don't you think?"

- "As far as I know, there's no app that can do that yet."

- "You're silly," she giggles. "Okay, I'm letting you go. Don't forget I want texts. I wouldn't want you to do something stupid again."

- "I promise. Goodnight, Lucy."

- "Goodnight to you too, Ona. Don't stay out too late."

I put away my phone after we hang up. Now that I'm alone again, all my thoughts come flooding back. I sigh as I stand up. I pat my jeans to get rid of any dirt that might have clung to them. My butt is cold now from sitting on the ground. That wasn't very smart of me. I look at my phone, which is already vibrating. I smile when I see the handle, which I guess is her Snapchat: LBronze22. Wow, I can't believe it! I didn't expect to get it. My request was just a joke. I could know her whole life if she posts stories regularly. Then again, it's not impossible that she might block me too. I add her immediately on the app, then I head back inside. They're talking about the couples that formed among the people who were with us in high school. The room goes quiet when I sit down.

- "Don't stop on my account," I say.

- "How are you feeling?" Miller asks me.

- "Better. I just needed to step out."

I catch Mapi's smug smile, which I quickly avoid. She can smile all she wants because I do feel better thanks to Lucy. Thinking of her, I decide to kick off the fun by sending her a picture of my glass of soda. I caption it saying it's my one and only drink. I also take the initiative to write her a message, as she asked me to do regularly. I force myself to join the conversation to reassure my friends. I ask about some people I liked back then. The evening continues here for another good hour. I kept texting Lucy discreetly so as not to attract Mapi's attention. We decide to leave the bar around half past midnight. When I told Lucy, she seemed happy that I was being reasonable for once. Our last message exchange happens just as Miller drops us off at my place. We wished each other goodnight. I didn't want to bother her any longer, and besides, I planned to go to bed once I was in my room. I go to the bathroom first, then I join Mapi. Unlike the past few nights, it's Mapi's turn to hold me as we sleep. That's why I adore her. I don't need to talk or pretend with her. She knows me too well for that. Luckily for me, sleep caught up with me before I reached the point of insomnia.