#he has kids and a wife and is happy ok
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hi welcome to starbucks what can i get for you? a pink drink? /ref
guys.
me, coming up with any connections to justify thinking that Grey is Mountain
im not making excuses to draw him you are /j
#he has kids and a wife and is happy ok#jrwi fated#jrwi show#jrwi#jrwi wonderlust#just roll with it#jrwi fanart#my art#jrwi mountain
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Boxer!Sukuna Part 2 - Becoming a Dad
I got this lovely ask about how Boxer!Sukuna would react if Reader got pregnant, and I wanted to write a little something for it. Thank you so much for sending me that.
You can read Part 1 of my Boxer!Sukuna headcanons here
Pairing: Boxer!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: 18+, fluff + mentions of smut. Pregnancy, mentions of boxing injuries, modern AU. Sukuna + Reader are engaged. You can read Part 1 for more general headcanons about Boxer!Sukuna, and his and Reader's relationship. But you don't need Part 1 to understand Part 2. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear
++ Boxer!Sukuna feels as if one of his opponents punched him in the guts when you place the positive pregnancy test in his lap and look at him with big, worried eyes. He catches himself quickly, though, when he sees how anxious you are, and pulls you on his lap, and wraps you in his strong arms. One large hand cups your head and cradles it against Sukuna's broad chest. "Hey, princess. It's ok. You hear me, sweetheart? Everything is fine."
++ Boxer!Sukuna sure as hell won't let you be scared. He is man enough to comfort you when you need it, even though he is probably just as nervous as you are. If you listen closely, you can hear how fast his heart is beating, but Sukuna makes sure to distract you from that by pressing his lips against your temple and murmuring reassurance to you, followed by little kisses.
++ Boxer!Sukuna never thought he would have kids. But he also never thought he would find love. But you changed him. You taught him love. So he thinks that you can also teach him how to be a dad. And the thought of having a baby with you fills him with such warmth and pride that he just knows he wants this and will make it work.
++ Boxer!Sukuna's low voice is as sure and confident as ever when he tells you, "Take your time to decide what you want. I will be with you on every path you choose. I love you. I'm your man, always. I couldn't imagine having a screaming little brat with anyone else. But with you? Yeah, absolutely. And if you make me a daddy, then I will make damn sure to be a good one. I want to have that baby with you."
++ Boxer!Sukuna can't help but smile when you press your face into his defined pecs and tell him that you are scared but that you want to have a baby with him, too.
++ Boxer!Sukuna is already your fiancé anyway, but if he hadn't already asked you to marry him, he would have done so right now after finding out you carry his baby under your heart.
++ Boxer!Sukuna places a large hand on your belly, his long fingers sprawling gently over it. It's astounding that a strong, rough man like him can touch someone this tenderly. It surprises him, too, and he laughs softly, already knowing he will be such a menace during your pregnancy. Super protective and always taking the best care of his soon-to-be wife and mommy of his little brat.
++ Boxer!Sukuna catches himself being more careful in the ring as your pregnancy progresses. He used to let his opponents land a few hard punches to rile him up and give the crowd a good show. But now he doesn't want to risk an injury. He is going to be a dad soon. He will have such a big responsibility. He cannot afford to get injured and land himself in the hospital for several weeks, or worse, have a lifelong injury that keeps him from being the husband and father he wants to be.
++ Boxer!Sukuna changes his tactic, dropping the playful show and instead ending his fights earlier with merciless, hard punches, which are aimed precisely. The fans are still cheering like crazy and happy about the show he gives them when Sukuna wins every fight with a knockout.
++ Boxer!Sukuna feels even more motivated now that you are having his baby. He wants to win the championship and that new advertising deal with that big clothing line. The one he has turned down for years because he thought it was stupid. But now he will say yes because he wants to get more money so he can assure his beautiful wife and baby will always have a good life and never have to worry about money at all.
++ Boxer!Sukuna is a busy man with all the long hours he has to invest in training and in the preparation for his fights. But he always tells his personal assistant, Uraume, to make time in his busy schedule for your doctor appointments during the pregnancy. He wants to be by your side. Wants to drive you there and make sure you get there safely. He wants to hold your hand while the two of you look at the ultrasound of your tiny baby, letting you know that Sukuna will keep his word.
++ Boxer!Sukuna has always been a very caring boyfriend/fiancé, and now he is an even more caring husband and soon-to-be daddy. Seeing you with your big baby bump makes him want to wrap you in his strong arms at all times, ensuring you are safe and taken care of.
++ Boxer!Sukuna loves bonding with you and your baby that’s growing inside you. You laugh and tease him for being so clingy, but he knows you love it. Sukuna loves showering with you, standing behind you, so much taller than you, letting you lean against his strong body while he wraps his arms around you, holding you safely in his embrace, making sure you won't slip. His large hands sprawl over your swollen belly while his lips trail kisses from your neck to your shoulders, and he grins anytime he feels his little baby kick strongly against mommy's belly and daddy's hand.
++ Boxer!Sukuna is extremely protective of you and his little daughter once she is born. No pictures are allowed. The paparazzi don't even dare come to your street. They try it once when you get out of the hospital with your newborn baby, but Sukuna scares them off by punching one of them. He has a mad grin on his tattooed face, sneering at that guy and telling him, "If you or any of your colleagues come near my wife or child, I will do the same thing again, but this time I'll make sure to knock out some of your teeth."
++ Boxer!Sukuna has won so many fights, so many titles and yet nothing touched him like holding his little girl in his strong, tattooed arms, gently swaying her from side to side at 3 am, after Sukuna rolled over in bed and kissed your naked shoulder, telling you to get some more sleep, "I will take care of the little princess." And now he is gazing down at this tiny little baby. His and your baby. And somehow, his vision is so blurry, and his eyes feel so weirdly moist.
++ Boxer!Sukuna smiles, a real smile, as he blinks the tears that almost welled up away and tells his little daughter, "You are the most perfect baby ever, little one. Not like all those ugly brats I see everywhere." He laughs to himself, low and raspy, just when you come out of the bedroom, rolling your eyes as you walk up to him with a matching laugh falling from your lips. You get on your tiptoes to kiss the tattoos on Sukuna's cheek and tell him he is the worst, with a voice full of love, and Sukuna thinks he is the luckiest guy ever.
++ Boxer!Sukuna wraps one strong arm around you and pulls you against his tall, muscular body, hugging you gently while he carries your little baby in his other arm. Holding both of his girls, grinning because he knows this here is the best thing he ever had. Better than any title he has ever won and will ever win.
++ Boxer!Sukuna still needs you to kiss his boxing gloves before each fight. But now he also added a new ritual. Brushing over the soft hair of his little daughter with his boxing gloves before he leans down to press a kiss on her little forehead and tell her, "Daddy will win this fight. For you and mommy."
++ Boxer!Sukuna is mature enough to know that a boxing arena isn't the right place for a baby, so he would never ask you to sit in your usual spot but rather have you backstage, cuddling your daughter while you watch his fight on the screen without all the loud noises and the riled up atmosphere. But on the evenings, when you have a babysitter and you can sit in front of the boxing ring, Sukuna fights extra well, spurred on by the knowledge that you are there. Just like he fucks you extra good in his private locker room afterward, taking you hard and rough against the wall, loving that he and you can be as loud as you want here, making sure you squeal his name over and over again like a prayer.
++ Boxer!Sukuna still takes you on dinner dates on those nights when you have someone who looks after your daughter. Because he wants the two of you to always stay lovers, too, and not just mommy and daddy. He makes sure to savor those dates thoroughly, flirting with you, leaning across the table to kiss you and whisper dirty things in your ear, or complimenting you on how beautiful you look. He makes sure to not just fuck you all riled up after a fight but also make sweet slow love to you, telling you to look deeply into his maroon eyes as he rolls his hips against yours and lets you feel every inch of his long and thick cock.
++ Boxer!Sukuna is very passionate about his boxing career, but his little family always comes first. When you are sick, he cancels a big fight just so he can stay home and look after you and your daughter, and somehow, it makes him become even more popular because suddenly, the big, bad boxing champion seems a lot more human to everyone.
++ Boxer!Sukuna is adamant about teaching his little girl how to fight, just like her daddy. She gets her first boxing gloves on her third birthday. Pink ones with Hello Kitty on them, and Sukuna proudly shows her how to punch the little punching bag he bought for her and installed in the living room.
++ Boxer!Sukuna never wants his daughter to actually follow in his footsteps and become a boxer because he knows he won't be able to stand in front of the ring and watch his little princess get hit. But he is so proud of her when she punches her little punching bag.
++ Boxer!Sukuna tells his little girl to fight him, grinning his boyish grin as he circles around the living room doing a "boxing match" against his little one. He lets her land several punches on his abs, and Sukuna groans dramatically and sinks to his knees before he lets himself fall onto his side and lie there, holding back his laughter while you count to ten and declare your giggling daughter the winner.
++ Boxer!Sukuna is such a successful and feared boxer, always living up to his stage name, The King of Curses. So strong and intelligent, seemingly unbeatable. But the two of you are his big weakness. You brought Sukuna to his knees, and he loves every second of it.
Boxer!Sukuna never thought he would be a dad, but now that he is one, he can't even imagine how life was before the three of you became a family. His little family will always be his safe haven. His retreat after all the exhausting time in the boxing ring and in front of all those flashing cameras. This here is truly all he needs. His two girls. The two loves of his life. No matter how many titles Sukuna wins, the titles he will always be the most proud of are husband and daddy.
IT WAS SO NICE AND COMFORTING TO WRITE THIS 💗💗 He makes me so lovesick!! What a man!!
I hope this little story could give you comfort, too. Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
#sukuna x reader#sukuna#sukuna smut#sukuna fluff#sukuna x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk fluff#jjk x you#sukuna x y/n#tw pregnancy
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Earned It ♥️
Max Verstappen x Wife! Reader
cause girl you’re perfect, you’re always worth it (I see nobody, nobody but you)
PART TWO HERE ♥️
The story of how you met your husband, Max Verstappen, is a fan favourite. A classic rags to riches Cinderella story - well, in this case, a working class med student with an outrageous loan meets F1 multimillionaire. For years, you two dodge the questions of having kids, due to your busy careers. But lately, your husband can’t stop thinking about a 3rd addition to your family…and no, he didn’t mean another cat.
Content includes: 18+ MDNI, fluff, humour, pregnancy, angst but happy ending, very brief description of sexual harassment (not from Max obviously), simp!Max, brat! reader, smut, size kink, breeding kink (very versatile from me for once), 5.7k WC
Guys, seriously, we’ve talked about this behaviour, you need to be tidier. You look up from your comfortable position on the couch, where you’re typing away one of your research projects, to see your darling husband gently scolding your three pets. You muffle your laughter with your hand, 20karat diamond ring glinting, admiring his toned build as he stands with his hands on his slim hips, reprimanding the two cats - Sassy and Jimmy - and labrador Arlo about the mess they’d made on the patio. Hearing your giggles as you fail to contain yourself, Max turns around, grinning at the pretty sound. All done, schat? Want to go out for some lunch?
You hmm in agreement, standing up to stretch and walking over to him with a cheeky expression. But first I need you to explain just what you’re doing here. You know they can’t understand you right, babe?
Max immediately tells your three so called “kids” to ignore your blasphemous words, making you giggle again at what a dork your husband was. No one would ever guess how sweet and domestic he was with you, compared to the ferocious lion he was when terrorising his rivals on the track. It is a very serious matter, schat, Max says indignantly. You’d let them get away with murder. I’m the only one who upholds any discipline in this household.
You stand on your tippy toes to kiss him lovingly on the cheek to appease him, batting your eyelashes innocently as you say sorry, baby, shall I make it up to you? and any annoyance Max had slips away as he pulls your petite frame against his much larger one to press a kiss to your lips instead. You two had been married for almost two years now, and dating for six before that, but you simply can’t get enough of each other - even now, as your innocent kiss deepens into a steamy make out session that has you panting and grinding against your husband’s thick thighs as he squeezes your plush ass with his large hands. You’re just about to ask him to carry you to the bedroom when your on-call phone rings, signalling an emergency at the hospital. Sorry, baby you say, apologising genuinely this time with a guilty look. I have to get this, go ahead and eat and I’ll make us some dinner when I’m back, ok?
Max reassures you that you have nothing to worry about, and that he’d make dinner of course, you’re going to be tired after sorting out an emergency. Your heart swells at how thoughtful he is of you and your busy career. You give him one last quick kiss before speeding out the door, scrubs on and barking orders over the phone already.
Admittedly, it hadn’t always been like this. When you had started dating, Max had been the considerably busier one - at the peak of his racing career and collecting multiple world championships as if it were child’s play. And the way you met was a classic dinner party story - F1 driver crashes his Ferrari into studious med student. It was hotly debated as to whether the fault lay with him for illegally going 80 in a 40 zone, or with you for walking with your nose buried in a textbook. Regardless, his insane reflexes had slammed on the brakes just in the nick of time to stop any real damage happening, but your textbook had gone flying in the air and straight on top of a passing truck, disappearing for good. You’d been devastated by the loss of it, more concerned with your upcoming final exam rather than any bodily harm, and as Max sprinted out from his car to worriedly ask if you were okay you’d whirled around angrily.
He was immediately struck with your natural beauty, with your pretty caramel skin and full lips and dark curls. Then he realized you were furiously pointing a finger at him and roasting his driving skills. Watch were you’re going! God, what is it with you boy racers speeding through the tiny side streets?
What?! Boy racer? Oh, Max was not going to let this grave insult slide, yelling back that he was a World-class driver, thank you, and you were the one who needs to watch where you’re going cause who reads and walks, that’s just dumb-
You cut him off, demanding to know who he worked for. Uber? Lyft? Monaco Taxi Incorporated? I’ll be sure to leave a scathing Google review, you said hotly.
Max had now realized you had absolutely no clue who he was, so basically he just looked like a complete dickhead - including to all the passerbys who gawked at the incriminating scene of the 6 foot Dutchman childishly arguing with a 5 foot, pouting girl. Deflating, he offers you his insurance information but you rolled your eyes and walked off, muttering about the goddamn Monaco elite in their Ferrari taxis.
He’d forgotten all about you until 6 months later, when he and Lando end up in the emergency department after a padel game gone wrong, only to find you pulling back the curtain - looking for Max, wait, Uber driver Max?! You’d narrowed your gorgeous doe eyes at him, then demanded to know if he was here cause he’d gotten in another hit and run. It was not a hit and run, that is an incredibly misleading statement, Max hissed, ignoring Lando’s goggle eyed stare, cause why on earth was his mate arguing with the pretty doctor who thought he drove for Uber and not F1 World Cup winning team Redbull-
The third time you had run into each other, at a charity ball where both your employers were sponsors, Max was convinced it was fate. Either that, or you were a crazy stalker. But he was, like, 98% sure it was fate as he felt his heart race at the sight of you in a fitted red silk dress and gold stilettos, your short frame still not even brushing his chin. This time round, you knew who he really was, and had an embarrassed flush on your pretty face as you said you know, you could have corrected me, it was a very awkward lunchbreak that day when the nurses starting asking if I’d gotten your signature.
He laughed, finding you adorable, and held out his hand for you to shake, grinning Let’s start over then, shall we? You’d easily returned the gesture, an undeniable spark running up both your arms as you touched. And a few months later, at the exact street where you first met, he pulled out a copy of your missing textbook that you excitedly took, laughing that he remembered only to gasp as you open it to see his messy scrawl - Thanks for not suing me, want to be my girlfriend instead of my victim? And the rest had been history, with you two now blissfully married years later.
Sure, you had your fair share of ups and downs, just like any couple did. Before your marriage, Max’s busy career meant that he was away more often than not, and although it helped that you had a busy life yourself, he knew you missed having him there at home after a long day or by your side at friends’ weddings where you’d have to attend solo. But you never complained, never asked for more because you understood that at this time of his life, his career would be first priority, and always supported him with diligently made meal preps, looking after his cats when he went away, and late night debriefs after arguments with his demanding father, your soothing voice helping calm down the burning anger in his chest.
And although you couldn’t attend every race like the other WAGs, you’d always do your very best to make it. He still grins when he remembers his last Monaco race, where you’d gotten held up in emergency surgery and had sprinted straight to the track, not having time to change into the Chanel outfit you’d sweetly picked out the night before (from a very large pile Max had generously insisted you fund with his black Amex). You’d made it just in time to see him cross the line in P1, and the pictures of you happily crying for his win as you jumped into his arms, still in your scrubs, long curls flying as he whirled you around went absolutely viral on social media. He was glad for it too, because you received so much online hate for not always being dressed like a model and by his side at every event - and knew that deep down, you felt guilty about it, even though it was such an unfair double standard. So he’d framed that famous shot of you and hung it in the entryway, so it would be the first thing everyone would see when they walk in, and understand why Max’s heart swelled with pure love and adoration whenever he looked at you.
So when he had gotten his fill with his eight - eight! - world championships and wanted to spend his Sunday mornings waking you up with his skilled tongue in between your soft thighs instead of on a racing track halfway across the world, he had promptly quit F1 - to the outrage of his father and thousands of fans - and stepped back to coach his own team instead. It was quite an accomplishment, you had thought amusedly when reading the headlines that year, to be known as the woman who had "seduced Max Verstappen to retire and become her trophy husband". Of course, Max stood for none of the media circus, retaining his infamous status as Mad Max when he openly shut down that storyline in a media statement that had blown up, making it clear that this had always been his plan and he would not be tolerating any slander of his beautiful wife whom he loved very much - who, by the way, was now the associate head of the emergency department, had they heard?
As time passed the fans eventually relaxed and enjoyed the new talent that came on, with your husband still a common figure on the paddock as coach. He'd had more time these past two years to look after you now - cooking your favourite meals and meeting you on the hospital rooftop for lunch and making all the nurses blush at how romantic your husband was, picking you up from a late shift in his Ferrari, taking you jewellery shopping in Paris one weekend then stiletto shopping in Milan the next with all your bags in his hands and his Amex in yours, and listening attentively in the living room as you practised your powerpoints on Intracranial Haemorrhage: Do early CAT scans change mortality rates? Your personal favourite gift, though, had to be when he'd brought home a 2 month old golden labrador as your birthday present. You'd always wanted a dog but had never had time for one on top of his two cats - but now, with Max home more often, he was able to look after all 3 of your kids, as you both affectionately referred to them.
And speaking of kids - the topic was something that had increasingly come up over the family events and meetups with friends you two went to. Of course, when it had first been asked, the two of you had dismissed it given there was simply no time with your careers. You religiously used contraception - with you on the pill and Max using condoms everytime. At one point, though, you both realised you rather enjoyed doing it raw - when the condom had broken after a particular rough session post 6th WDC win. Max still remembered your blushing face as he came down from what had been one of the most intense orgasms of his life, already addicted to the feeling of spilling inside you. You had bit your lip, shyly saying you know Maxie, the pill is 99% effective, I don't think we need to use condoms anymore-
He'd cut you off with a pleased growl, sealing his lips back onto yours for Round 2 as the thought of getting to fill you up every night sent all the blood rushing to his cock. Safe to say, there hadn't been a box of condoms in your home for a very long time. But as time passed after your marriage, Max started to feel an unfamiliar desire simmer in his gut everytime he saw you playing with his nieces and nephews, or when he would be showing Daniel's toddler how to operate a racekart, or when he’d finish inside you, watching your eyes roll back in pleasure, and wonder what would happen if you weren’t on the pill. He avoided saying anything as your answer to the kids? question at Family Xmas was still not right now.
But lately he hadn't been able to deny the aching yearn he felt any longer, and especially not when you two had been celebrating Charles' and Alex's pregnancy announcement on their yacht last weekend. You'd looked so happy for the couple, congratulating Alex on her glow and admiring the ultrasound pictures but all Max could think about was how amazing he was sure you'd look carrying his child, how he wanted to have your baby scans on the fridge door and argue over names, how he was sure you would be the most amazing mother to his kids and he couldn’t have picked a better wife. He must have been looking quite jealously at the scene because Charles comes upto him, greeting him with a Hey, mate and a knowing smirk. Max grunts, sipping his G&T, then realises he might be acting in a way you would refer to as "dickhead behaviour", so he also throws in a gruff congratulations.
Charles' is not having it though, having recognised the intensity which Max was staring you down with. You know, he starts, prompting Max out of his one-way thoughts, You could always try bringing it up directly with her instead of expecting her to read your mind, hmm? Max glanced at him side ways. Already practising your fatherly advice? He joked, diffusing the tension, before the conversation moved onto how the new young F1 drivers just didn’t appreciate a good wheel to wheel battle like back in their karting days.
Charles' words stuck with him throughout the week, and one night as you both settled down for bed, he decided it was time to ask. Schatje? he begun, watching you from his position in the bed as you brushed out your damp curls in the mirror, dressed in a cute silk nightie. You hmmed at him, slightly distracted by a tangle in your hair but prompting him to continue. You know, I was, well -whatdoyouthinkaboutgettingpregnant?
You frowned slightly, still distracted by the tangle in your hair. Who, Alex and Charles? I think it's great, they've wanted kids for a while now, right?
Max takes a deep breath, tells himself to stop being a pussy, and walks over to you, taking the comb away as he brushes out the tangle himself. You look at him curiously as he tilts your head up with his large palm, brushing your cheek lovingly as his ice blue eyes meet yours. No, shcat he murmurs gently. I mean us, getting pregnant, having a baby. How do you feel about that?
Your jaw drops open at his words as your brain temporarily stopped working. You feel your face blush from the thought of your husband getting you pregnant. As hot as it sounded, out of all the things, you hadn't expected him to say that. You realise your surprised silence was making Max freak out, the telltale sign of a crinkle between his brows. You scramble to come up with a response, stuttering that Oh, sorry, I hadn't really thought about it, I guess and that we'd both been busy with work for so long it kind of...slipped my mind?
But what do you think, liefje, your husband pressed, hopeful. Do you want to try? You honestly weren't sure, this was all so sudden and you needed a bit more time to process it - but when you told Max this you didn't miss the hurt look that flashes across his face as his insecurities rise up. He asked if the problem was that you didn't want to have kids with him, because how could you possibly not have thought about it, all our friends and family constantly bring it up all the time-
I don't know! you'd responded defensively, arms crossed. We'd been focusing on your racing for so long that I just stopped thinking about stuff like that. The argument had spiralled out of control quickly, Max demanding to know when you were going to stop holding that over him, and when you wanted to think about it then, you two weren't any younger, after all - prompting you to angrily accuse him of always putting his job above yours, because now that he had his fill he was ready to start a family but what about your career?!
You hadn’t been able to stop the tears that dripped down your face as the argument escalated into a full blown fight. Max had sighed seeing that, deflating and saying you should both head to bed for now. You’d lain next to him, feeling so cold without his usual warm bicep pulling you against him, trying to hold back more tears before you drifted into a fitful sleep. Max hadn’t been any better either, only falling asleep in the early hours of the morning and when he woke up, you were already gone. He’d started trying to look for you but then remembered you had a conference in London today you’d had to fly out for - you wouldn’t be back for a week, he reads on the note you’d left on the fridge.
Fuck, it had been a bad night to have such an ugly fight considering you two had left so much unresolved. Later, when he’s visiting his sister’s for dinner and watching her kids with the same burning want in his heart, his mother corners him and demands to know why he had shown up looking like a kicked puppy. Your wife’s been gone one day and you’re already so hopeless? She’d joked, but clearly had a concerned look in her eyes. He couldn’t stop himself then, opening up about the horrible fight. He feels terrible that you had ended up crying, but still can’t help feel that you were being purposely selfish, he explains, after all, we’d be raising the baby together, she can still have her career, no?
His mother had been silent for a while, taking it all in, before she gently reminded Max about how she, too, had been in the peak of her very successful karting career when Jos had gotten her pregnant. Your wife isn’t me, and you certainly are not your father, she said firmly. But she’s scared, Max, it’s not personal. She’s scared she could lose everything she’s spent years building while you get to have it all. It isn’t as easy for a mother to put her career on hold as it is for a father. Even if he’s as loving and caring as you will be, she reassures.
Max looked troubled, then, as your responses last night now started to make sense. God, he was such a terrible husband, how had he not considered that before? Sensing her son’s brain was running at 100 miles a minute, the older woman lays a soothing hand on his shoulder. Just give her some space, Max. Let her come to you. You two will work through this.
So he gives you the space, and 6 days later he’s standing at the arrivals area of the airport, stonily looking out the window at the planes landing but internally fighting a storm of emotions. You two had never had these many days of no contact in your whole marriage, and he’d said some vicious things that night, and what if in the time away you had decided you would be better off without him? His jaw clenched at the idea of losing you. God, maybe he shouldn’t have given you space but spammed your phone, begging for forgiveness. Why was marriage so much more confusing than driving a car at 200kmph?
Suddenly, he hears the click of your familiar YSL heels walking up to him and he turns frantically to see your petite figure come to a stop a few feet away. Your face looks just as troubled as his, but as soon as your eyes meet you can’t control yourself and run forward to jump into his arms. Max welcomes you eagerly, all his tension releasing as he hugs you tightly, broad arms easily lifting you up and pressing his face into your neck to breathe in your perfume. You’re rapidly saying something about how you were so sorry, you had overreacted - You don’t have to apologise for anything, liefje, Max says fiercely, God, I missed you so, so much. I shouldn’t have brought it up so suddenly. Take all the time you need, okay?
You blink back happy tears, heart so full at your understanding husband as you looked up into his blue eyes adoringly before sharing a loving kiss. Passerbys smiled at the sweet scene you two made. Max took you home, one hand carrying your luggage and the other firmly around your waist, as if he was paranoid you were going to disappear. Again, in the car, his hand stayed glued to your thigh, softly stroking it as you told him about your week in London. And then at home, you had to stop him as he got ready to climb into the shower with you, giggling and saying you were starving, baby, did he want to grab some dinner for you two?
He’d pouted, but then perked up excitedly once you promised you two could go for a swim in the pool after dinner instead. Need anything else while I’m out, schat? He asked, grabbing the Ferrari keys. You hesitated, making him turn around, as you blushed a little and said Would you mind grabbing some condoms, Maxie? I forgot to take my pill to London so I haven’t been on anything for a week…
You search his face for any hint that he’s upset you still needed time, but found none, only a gentle expression on his face as he pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek. Of course, schatje, he says lovingly before heading out. You watch him go, a devious smirk now on your face. A part of you felt bad for the game that you were planning on playing with your husband later that evening - but, oh well, you had to have some fun in a marriage, right? And your sweet, darling, perfect husband had passed the test with flying colours tonight, showing his dedication to putting your needs first.
The truth was, you’d also reflected on your marriage and its future in London. You’d thought and thought until you could think no more about whether or not it was time to have kids, if you should even have kids, not because you didn’t want them but because you were so worried about how it would derail the career you’d worked so hard to build. And then you’d remembered how Max would spend hours quizzing you for your residency exams, while you were on the toilet or in the kitchen, making sure you got every answer right and you’d passed with full marks.
Or how you knew you loved Max for the first time, when he had stood by your side and steadied you as you shakily reported to your boss about a supervisor who’d developed a nasty habit of feeling you up at work and barring you from surgeries if you said no. Max had stood by you through it all, his large, gentle hands holding your own, a contrast to the thunderous expression on his face at anyone who tried to give you a hard time when you came forward - and he didn’t ease up until the creep had been permanently stripped of his medical license. Even now, when you’d sometimes shiver at the memory, he’d pull you into his safe arms, murmuring how proud he was of you, schat, you were so brave for speaking up.
You thought about how warm you’d felt seeing Max gently rock his nephew in his strong arms, or how impressed you had been seeing how he taught the kids how to drive a kart, or how devoted he was to your marriage and your three pets, always being there to provide for you and support you however you needed him to be - mentally, physically, emotionally. Max really was the best husband to you, and he’d be the best father to your kids. And you knew you had your answer.
So now, after eating your favourite dinner of Italian pasta, expensive red wine and tiramisu for dessert, you got changed into your bikini, a skimpy pink number Max always enjoyed, and slipped on a gold choker with matching anklets, all adorned with the letter M - a custom made Cartier set he’d brought for you on his birthday, as a gift to himself. The box of condoms he’d picked up lays on the bedside table. You smirk at them as you pass by - they won’t be needed much longer. Not that your husband had any clue of that - yet, and you couldn’t wait to see the expression on his face when he figured out just how you were going to reward his devotion tonight. Picking up a second bottle of wine, you take a good swig and make your way out to the dark backyard where Max is shirtless, the pool’s neon lights reflecting the water droplets that slide down his large, muscular back. Shit, you had to stay extra focused if he was going to be looking so delectable tonight!
He turns as he hears your anklets tinkle, smirking as he takes in your dolled up appearance, all for him. Coming in, schat? He calls huskily, feeling his cock hardening at the sight of you after a whole maddening week away. Just admiring the view, you say cheekily, taking another swig from the wine and slowly stepping into the pool. You can feel your husband’s hungry gaze sliding up your curvy body, and you shiver, feeling rather like a deer caught in a lion’s trap even though you were the one playing games tonight. You come to a stop in front of him, your head barely reaching his upper chest, giving him a generous view as your tits spilled around the tiny bikini. You sultrily gaze right into his darkening blue eyes as you take yet another sip of the wine, your pink tongue darting out to circle the tip of the bottle in quite the slutty manoeuvre. Missed you, Maxie you say coyly. Especially missed having you inside me.
He growls lowly at your teasing, easily taking the bottle off you and downing the rest before discarding it to the side. You whine as he puts a stop to your antics, pouty lips and large doe eyes staring up at him invitingly. Chuckling, he places a large palm across your ass and lifts you up against him. Your thighs wrap themselves around his toned waist and your hands tangle in his soft hair, gently tugging on the strands just the way he likes it. Now face to face, you tease him further, whispering in his ear about how lonely you’d been while away, how normally you’d call him and have him talk you through an orgasm, and how your tiny fingers hadn’t been able to make you cum all week because you needed his thick ones to stretch you open.
Fuckkk, schat, Max breathes, feeling his cock grow impossibly hard, his blue eyes completely darkened by lust. I missed that filthy little mouth of yours so much. He glides his thumb along your pink lips and you part them easily, taking him in and swirling your tongue around him. He can’t hold himself back any longer, pulling you in and replacing his thumb with his tongue. You moan into the dirty kiss, running your hands along his muscular shoulders, addicted to the feeling of his strong, thick biceps caging you against him. Your bikini strings are deftly untied as he practically rips it off of you, breaking the kiss to lean you back and suck on your pretty nipples. You squeal as he gently bites down, murmuring maybe you shouldn’t have been such a cocktease, schat.
You’re now grinding your pussy against his abs, begging him for more, please, Maxie and asking him to take you to bed. He smirks at how easily you fall apart under his tongue, squeezing your ass as he carries you inside, always giving you what you wanted like the devoted husband he is. You two have no regard for the sheets as you drip water all over them, foreplay long forgotten as your bikini bottoms are yanked off, followed by his trunks. You’d honestly forgotten about the damn condoms by this point but Max hadn’t, hurriedly ripping open a packet with his teeth as you whine at him to hurry up, Maxie, I can’t take it- Oh!
You moan blissfully as he buries himself inside you. Feels like coming home everytime, schat, he breathes out as he holds his position for a few beats before he starts thrusting into you. Holy shit, that felt sooo good. You didn’t think you were going to last very long at all - putting a time limit on your plan. You let him get a few more thrusts in you before you start begging again, this time asking Maxie, wait, can-can we please take the condom off?
He looks down at you in surprise, saying you hadn’t been on the pill this week schat, it’ll be risky-
Oh, your darling husband still hadn’t caught on to your suprise, and as you whine that it’s okay, you can just pull out, right Maxie? you almost giggle from the strained expression on his face as he considers that feat of self restraint. But he wasn’t going to say no to you, not when you were below him with your lush dark curls spread around you and looking up at him so adoringly, so he reaches down and pulls the condom off and sinks back inside you.
Shit. He swears at the vice grip you have his cock in, one hand automatically going to grasp the headboard to try and maintain some control and ground himself. But you’re begging for more and it feels so good to be back inside you, raw, feeling your slick heat up on his thick cock that his thrusts start getting sloppier. He’s panting above you, both hands now gripping the headboard to hold himself back from the urge to cum inside you.
Your devilish eyes don’t miss this, and you grab his thick wrists to pull them down so his hands rest on your bouncing tits, begging him to play with them, please. Oh, shit, he feels his orgasm quickly approaching from your positively filthy demands tonight. But as he starts to pull back you wrap your legs around him tightly, keeping him in place as you make your final demand - Noo, Maxie, don’t pull out, you can come inside me, it’s ok-
Perplexed, knowing he can break your grip around him in half a second, your husband is now very confused as he points out with gritted teeth that no condom and no pill and no pulling out meant-Yes, yes, I know! You whine impatiently. I want it Maxie, I’m ready now, come inside, I want to get pregnant!
Max pauses above you, this time being the one to have his brain function temporarily suspended as he slowly figures out just what you’re saying. Are you sure, schat-
You roll your eyes, sinking yourself down onto his cock, making him moan, and hoping he gets the message. Oh, I’m definitely sure, dear husband, you say sultrily. Now, are you going to fuck a baby into me or what?
He finally clicks, his confused gaze now morphing into pure joy as he grins down at you, and you can’t help but grin back, the two of you finally ready to progress into the next step of your marriage together. He pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, catching you off guard. You know I love you right, schat? He murmurs, and you nod, confused where he was taking this. Good, cause I’m about to fuck you like I hate you. That was a dirty game you played, yeah? Edging me all night when you were gonna let me fuck you raw all along. Gonna have to punish you real good for that. He growls darkly, his large hand coming to squeeze your throat, making you gasp in delight.
Oh, you loved when Mad Max came out to play. Your legs are tossed over his shoulders and then pressed all the way back against your soft tummy, into a mating press. The unfamiliar position has you screaming in pleasure, your anklets dangling by your face as he thrusts his way back into you. Your husband chuckles wickedly at your reaction, pumping into you deeply and making the headboard bang against the wall each time.
And true to his word, he punishes you thoroughly, not stopping despite your overstimulated pleas as you repeatedly orgasm, instead cumming inside you over and over and over again, leaving you obscenely full with his thick load.
And when you finally pass out into blissful darkness, he meanly fucks you awake again, demanding that you take another round from him like the good little wife you are, aren’t you, so obedient for me, hmm? Gonna fuck you stupid until you’re finally pregnant with my kids, like you always should have been.
Safe to say, you didn’t get much sleep that night, or for many nights after 💖
—————————————————————————
UPDATE: PART TWO out now!!
A/N: damn this is a whole ass essay. I love simp husband max so much tho I couldn’t help it 🥺might make a part 2 about the pregnancy and protective max hehe if people like this! Lmk what you think 🫶🫶
#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#max verstappen x oc#f1 x reader#fluff#18+ mdni#f1 smut#smut#mv1#mv33#formula 1
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✎ sweet felicity
- gojo satoru x reader
what do you get the man who already has everything for his birthday?
genre: teeth-rotting fluff and comfort because no—i can't make his birthday angsty ok
note: so this is my entry for the birthday boy <3 this takes place immediately after daddy-to-be, where the first years are still yuta, maki, panda and toge
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Honestly? Satoru wondered about it a lot these days.
He already has everything he wanted—unparalleled cursed technique, a fairly happy life, a pretty wife, and just recently, a kid on the way.
But his birthday was in a week and it was as clear as a day that you were planning something for him.
“Come on, you can't fool me, sweets.”
He noticed that you had started waking up earlier than usual. Initially, he thought it was due to your morning sickness, but it turned out you were sneaking away to another room for an hour or two and only came out when it was around breakfast time.
Did you really think he wouldn't catch on? Satoru found himself torn between concern and amusement. He didn't want you to strain yourself—especially after your recent fainting spells—and yet a part of him was over the moon by the fact that you did it for him.
His eyes crinkled, twinkling with affection. “You're planning something for my birthday in the mornings lately. That's sweet, but you don't have to, really.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you so sure that it's for your birthday? I never said anything."
"Well, what else could it be? Unless you're cheating on me at six in the morning—"
"I have your spawn inside me, Gojo Satoru—"
"Don't call it ‘spawn’!" Satoru interjected with a theatrical gasp. "It's our very own little munchkin! Our love! Love!"
This was so ridiculous and you couldn't help yourself from giggling. And seeing you like that softened something inside him.
"Really, don't push yourself too hard," he said with a pout, resigned. "You need lots and lots of sleep."
"I'm not a baby, Satoru."
"Half of you is, so it makes you one!"
He was dramatic, but it was his own way to care because your husband was just wired that way.
You sighed, relenting. “Okay, okay… I know my limits. I will stop when I don't feel well, yeah? Besides, I won't have time to do it except in the mornings because I still have classes to teach.” It seemed like he wasn’t satisfied with your answer so you added, “Just so you know, it's something I enjoy too.”
"Hmph," Satoru huffed, eyeing you petulantly. "It'd better be good, or I'll spank you."
If it were physically possible for your eyes to roll a full 360 degrees into the back of your head and back, they definitely would have. "Oh, you will adore it, I promise."
Well, it wasn't a part of the plan, but now that he had asked for it, you'd definitely add a twist in his gift...
Satoru connected the dots instantly when he saw yarn and needles—what else were you doing aside from knitting?
His sweet wife, who woke up early just to make a handmade gift for his birthday—ahh, his heart could've burst. It was so cute and so you, the warmhearted being that you were.
He would go back early today, he decided, as he strolled the halls of the Jujutsu High with a cheerful tune. You were certainly waiting back at home and he would shower you with love and praise just for your efforts alone these past few days.
And so, he would have never expected that when he received a call from Nanami that afternoon, his world would utterly shatter in the most terrifying way.
“Gojo-san, please, you must come back.” Nanami was always steadfast even in the direst situations. And yet, now he was breathing hard, and panicking. “Something happened. You must go back to your residence—”
In that moment all he could think of was you and his baby. His entire world. Were you hurt?
He didn’t dwell on it—or rather, he couldn’t. His fingers went to rip his blindfold off as a sense of exponential dread creeped in and threatened to engulf him whole—a very, very strange, unfamiliar feeling to him—and he teleported back to his haven in a blink of an eye.
He had been ready to unleash hell, to see you lying on your own pool of blood, or anything. No, that was something he could never be ready for, but he would somehow make it right—
“Ooh, there he is!”
“Already?!”
“Nevermind—”
—and suddenly, he was swept into a whirlwind of confusion and commotion.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOJO-SENSEI!”
Today is December 7.
It took a while for Satoru to discern everything, with his pulsating heartbeats and the rush of emotions that overwhelmed him. His eyes darted from each and every face who were suddenly in his house, searching for yours—
“Satoru!” you greeted him from behind Nanami, radiantly beaming, and only then could he finally breathe. You are safe—you’re well—
You had meant for it as a joke, a little payback for all the grievances he had caused you—and let’s not forget, Nanami—but you immediately regretted it when you had a look over the absolute terror in his heavenly blue eyes that you loved so much.
You had seen this once, before, when he proposed to you.
“Satoru.” You waltzed towards him, gently cradling his stunned face in your hands. “Hey,” you coaxed him with an apologetic smile, reassuring him of your presence.
Satoru looked at you squarely in the eyes, and as he fully took in the sight of you, he let out a shuddering breath and pulled you close with a firm arm around your waist and and the other around your back.
“You evil woman,” he murmured in your ears, and you could feel the slight tremble of his body and the way his heart was still thumping wildly inside his sturdy chest, which made you feel even more sorry.
“Whoa, that got you good, huh?” Panda remarked with a bemused grin.
“As expected,” Megumi snorted.
“Salmon! Salmon!”
“Ehh, that’s actually sweet…” Maki noted thoughtfully. “I would have never expected him to drop everything that fast just to go back here only after a suspicious phone call—”
“Of course he would!” Yuta rebuked with pride. “It’s his wife after all! And Nanami-san truly did a really convincing job at it!”
Nanami. Satoru casted a stern glare toward his junior, while the man in question awkwardly coughed. How did you even involve him in this?
Nah, he would deal with him later.
Despite the scare that got him good, your little plan commenced as it should. The closest of his friends and students were there to throw him this silly birthday party, as well as shower him with a plethora of gifts.
You had managed to round up his students to write birthday wishes for him in a scrap book filled with various photographs throughout the past year. This is sweet, he thought.
And one note tugged at his heartstrings the most:
Thank you, sensei, for everything — Yuta.
If anything he did ever made an impact on those young sorcerers, then Satoru was wholeheartedly glad. He wanted them to grow and made their own path in this unforgiving world, and their gratitude stirred a profound sense of relief within him.
“Here.” He was genuinely surprised when Megumi abruptly pushed a long, thin box toward him next, shyly averting his gaze. “Happy birthday.”
A fountain pen. It must have costed him some. It was strange, but Satoru felt oddly emotional.
The kid was barely six when he first approached him. He was prickly and sour and definitely wasn't welcoming. And then, he had matured right before his eyes. Satoru couldn’t help ruffling his hair vigorously and snickered, disregarding the scowl directed his way.
Nanami extended his well-wishes, and even though he still had a score to settle with him later, he was happy to have him here. Shoko couldn’t come but she left you with a recorded message.
“Happy birthday, Gojo, idiot,” Shoko was grinning in the video you played. “I'm sorry I can't be there, but my wish is for you to tone down your antics. We could all use a bit less of that.”
The two remaining reminders of the bluest spring in his life. Something pricked his heart at the stark reminder that they were not whole—and if only that someone was here, they would—but the fact that these two thought of him was enough.
And now, at last, it was time for your gift. Satoru thought he knew what it was, but as he carefully opened the ivory box, a profound sense of warmth still washed over him.
Mittens, with the color of freshly fallen snow, lay in the box—two pairs in total. One was remarkably tiny, seemingly tailored for a baby, while the other was notably larger, undoubtedly meant for him.
You. Him. The baby. By this time next year, there would be three of you. The happy picture of all of you together in near future was a gift in and of itself. You two are his everything.
Satoru went by his instincts and grasped your arm, crashing his lips against yours ardently, beaming with the broadest grin. He paid no heed to the squeals and disapproving glances from everyone around, as he felt entitled to do so—declaring his love boldly so you would know… that he was utterly, hopelessly in love with you.
That he was grateful for you in this otherwise dreary life.
And that if there were any other lives he might live after this ended... then he hoped the heavens would always bring you back to him—and for you to always choose him just like this, no matter what.
Epilogue
“So you really did call Nanami at six in the morning.”
Later that night, just before bed, your husband was still holding a grudge on you for frightening him back in the day, evident by the permanent purse of his lips.
You shrugged, buttoning the last button of your sleepwear. “I did… but it’s for greater purpose, so… yeah.”
“I can’t stand this. I’m suing you for collateral damage.”
You almost laughed. “Pffft—what? What damage—”
“My fragile heart! You can’t do that to me and expect I won’t charge you!”
“Well…” You noted with a meaningful smile. You couldn’t say you didn’t expect this, because Satoru always got pouty whenever he was irked in one way or another, and so in advance, you had actually been prepared for this.
You caught him off guard when you suddenly sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers teasing his undercut. It was a nice change of pace, seeing the faint blush coloring his cheeks as he steadied you by your waist.
“…what if I say… I still have one present left for you?”
So, what did you get a man who already has everything for his birthday?
Your whole heart, of course.
And if you were in the mood for an additional surprise, a brand new pair of lacy lingerie you had under your pajamas might do the trick.
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Ok, hear me out. An AU where Janet Drake is best friends with Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen.
They met in school, and she's a high society girl, not expected or allowed to be much more than a pretty face, but there's this trio of smart idiots (they did all sorts of stupid stuff at school, but they are overall very, very smart), and they're in all sorts of cool classes and extracurriculars, and she wants to learn
So, she snakes her way into the group with well-timed looks and blushes. They eventually include her in all their activities, and so she learns all sort of stuff that she usually wouldn't be allowed to learn, because they help her keep it in the down low. No, she's not taking classes with them, she's being a proper lady and cheering her smart friends on through the oh-so-hard classes.
At some point or another, they all develop a crush on her, fleeting as it may be (they're hormonal teens and they're required to flirt, it was bound to happen)
They flirt publicly, as it keeps the media from pressuring them into relationships— or so they thought. It backfires when they're adults, the media is demanding Janet settle down and stops leading all three of them on. But there would be a scandal if she picked any of them, so she picks Jack, someone who doesn't love her or she loves, but someone desperate enough to climb the social ladder to care if he loves his wife.
When he's not allowed to flirt anymore, that's where Bruce realizes that he actually liked her.
When Tim comes along, and Janet has to go on trips, she leaves him with her trusted friends. So, Tim learns a lot from his Uncle Lex, learns to shoot a bow from his Uncle Ollie, and loves staying with his Uncle Bruce and his children. He figures him out far too easily and does become Robin when Jason figures he's ready to pass on the mantle to his little brother (because they're brothers. Tim spends a lot of time in their house)
Bruce adores Tim, he really does. It just kinda hurts, that he's Janet's kid, but not his.
Eventually, Janet divorces Jack, and she gets to spend a lot more time in Gotham. But by now Tim is as much Bruce's as he is Janet's, so they co-parent the gremlin that is her son, which leads to a lot of time with Bruce.
Bruce treats her better than Jack ever did, and she trusts him far more. They have the memories of years together. Eventually, Bruce tells her the truth— that he never truly moved on from his best friend.
When they marry, sure it's a media circus, but also not a surprise.
She's also a good mom, to Tim as much as to Dick or Jason.
When Jason finds out Catherine is not his mom, sure he gets curious, but he has a mom already, he's happy. He does want to meet his bio mom, but he agrees to do so safely, not go alone. Fine, B, you can come with.
Joker never happens. Jason is disappointed when he finds his mom is not at all what he expected, and he has a much better one at home.
Eventually, when Damian comes into the picture, he's snappy with Janet. "you will never be my mother, you harlot!" but Janet simply puts a hand on his shoulder and speaks calmly, yet sharp as the blade he threatens her with
"You will not speak to me like that, boy. No, I am not your mother. But I am married to your father, and I hold the authority as such, so you will go up to your room, you will cool down, and you will never threaten or insult me again, or you will be grounded."
"You can't do that!"
"She can. She has my full permission to discipline my kids, Damian. In this house, she holds as much authority as I do." Bruce interjects
Damian, begrudgingly, learns to respect Janet, and eventually he does see her as a second mom
The amount of times Oliver or Lex visit the Wayne-Drake household is absurd, but sue them, they like their friends. This leads to a lot of chaos, because every time Oliver visits so does Roy, and Roy hangs out with Dick and Jason, while Damian sticks to glaring at everyone.
Meanwhile, they dote on Tim, because they sure as hell have a favourite nephew, and it's the one they watched grow inside the belly of one of their best friends, the one they all changed the diapers of, the one they've taught a lot of skills to, the one they helped raise in a way they never helped raise any of the other Wayne boys. They don't even try to hide their preference. Now, of course they like all their nephews, but it's always hilarious because when Tim is around his uncle Lex, he's ten times the evil mastermind he generally is, and Oliver encourages it, simply for the chaos, and so does Janet, while Bruce is downright terrified of the idea of Tim as a villain (everyone is)
#Tim and Lex get on like a house on fire#and it's terrifying#tim drake#bruce wayne#batfamily#dick grayson#damian wayne#jason todd#janet drake#batfam#dc universe#No one messes with Tim during galas bc you'll walk away crying#Tim was partly raised by Lex because his mom was busy and Ollie was further away and Bruce wasn't always available
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it's been 15 years and you can see better than ever
(design notes under the cut) (there are spoilers)
ok this got really long. here you go
sif:
ditched the cloak. it was collecting dust in their closet until recently, but they realized they don't need to cling to their grief so much anymore. someone else will need it more soon.
ditched the eyepatch. the prosthetic eye is a labor of love designed by isa, as is literally everything else they're wearing.
they cut their bangs finally and started braiding their hair back so it wouldn't obscure their vision as much anymore.
they like darker/tighter clothing and prefer function over form but unfortunately their gay ass boyfriend keeps treating them like a dress up doll so they're stuck wearing waistcoats and a fancy cloak. (they don't mind. it's designed to look like loop.) they keep flowers in their many pockets to give to people.
they're a woodworker in their free time. they don't usually talk about being any sort of savior so he just becomes sif the guy who's really good at carving birthday presents for people and also tags along with isa to charity parties and fundraisers
41 year old 5'1" they/he absolutely zero intention of Changing. bonded to isabeau. they adopted a kid who leo or i might post about some other time i think. her name is estelle.
isa: i'm not taking credit for the design that's by my friend @fembard /@leoweooo. i'll include his design notes
isa dresses mostly for comfort, he doesn't like wearing stuff that might get stained or ruined when he's dyeing clothes or chasing stelle around in the mud or something, all his fashion sense goes into his handiwork
he Changed a few more times over the 15yrs, eventually settled. picked up she/her pronouns again on the side but was never really able to ditch the name isabeau and he kinda ran out of names anyways...
kept the long hair, kept a few inches in height, very happy to fulfill the role of male (space) wife
can't ditch the kimono jacket it's the piece de resistance. odile influence and Wisening Of Age means its made with a little more knowledge of ka buan technique but still very clearly an Isa Design. the fabric is imported silk sif!!!!!!
39 year old Tall with a capital T he/she "i swear i'm not a weeaboo i'm just really into ka buan fashion" vaugardian indie clothing designer in your area help support this man in his attempts to use his family members as living advertisements for his brand
mira: with design input from @jastertown thank you my friend
i took a lot of inspiration for the sparkly, sheer fabric on her dress from euphrasie. she's not head housemaiden yet because she doesn't feel like she's ready but everybody knows it'll be her
speaking of inspiration. she's been taking a lot of fashion cues from a certain lady in dormont that she thought was kind of scary, but it turns out she's very nice? they're besties now.
she got rid of the earrings for a little bit but then she realized she just liked how they look on her. so now they go ding ding! it's for her and nobody else, and that's how she likes it.
moved her ornaments to her skirt because they ding ding more often there. her necklace also jingles with merriment.
38 year old she/her advanced cisgender+ legend who's realizing that people are trying to get her to be the pope but all she really wants to do is write yaoibait fiction that looks like it came straight off of ao3
odile:
my glorious hag. she started shrinking about 3 years ago. all those years of bending over books has finally caught up to her. her hips are fuuuuuucked. but she has a sick cane that sif carved for her so everything's okay
she was already pretty comfortable and settled in her sense of style when she was nearing 50 so i don't think she would change much. darker clothing maybe. ditched the high-waisted pants for some looser slacks.
she's started writing a familytale of her own. the only person she's told about it is bonbon, who caught her up way past their bedtime, and scribbled all over one of the pages. she'll pass it on to sif when the time's right, after she's written down everything she can remember about their family.
64 year old she/her wasian researcher recovering from hernia surgery who's getting really into things like "political activism" and "body craft law reformation in ka bue" and "making sure people aren't sourcing their hrt from back alleys"
bonnie:
prefers to go by boniface these days. it's cooler. more mature. please stop calling me bonbon that's a nickname from when i was 10 guys c'mon guys ugh fine frin you can still call me bonbon but not around my girlfriends ok (nobody calls them boniface except for odile)
speaking of which they have 3 butch lesbian girlfriends. this got established as a joke but i think they have it in them. they're still young!!!!!!! they should be at the club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they traveled for a while with everybody but eventually settled down back in bambouche to start a little family owned restaurant with nille featuring dishes from all over the globe. people travel from all over to get a taste of boniface's good eats... bambouche is bustling. (they have a few recipes that are sourced from the country. they meet people every once in a while who find something achingly familiar about it, and they usually direct those people to jouvente to get in contact with frin.)
26 year old they/them "i dont know how tall i am but i'm taller than za" chef cooker whose restaurant keeps lighting on fire because this time i swear nille i can figure out how to do cooking craft i swear i wont explode the kitchen this time please i promise
loop:
ok. this is where lozy gets to just talk about what he thinks happens post game. i think they stick around for way longer than they really should and follow the crew around on their travels (mostly invisibly) because they're sooo fucking scared of change they're sooo scared and they're so scared of their wish fucking up beyond belief. they're kind of incapable of aging or dying in this body and theyre like permanently 26 which is what spurs them to finally move on.
i think they go back to their timeline eventually after making a Brand New Wish to "go back to their real family." alas the universe leads and we can only follow. and it turns out loop has actually made a real family in stardust's world also. this is my justification for why they can pop in between sasasap and isat worlds without much repercussion. i think they're always permanently loop shaped in isat but i imagine they can probably go back to their original body in their home timeline... might design that later. who knows. i'm fucked like that
i just think they deserve a chance for their own happy ending you know. isat's a game about how it's never too late to communicate and how you shouldn't punish yourself forever and ever. and i think theyve punished themself enough you know.
ok tank you for reading if you read this far. it's really big and long so i would understand if you didn't. but i hope you liked it. thoughts appreciated. here's a little something for the people who read all the way through.
#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#siffrin isat#isafrin#isat game#postgame isat#loop#isabeau#mirabelle#odile#bonnie#boniface#spoilers are only under the read more#my drawings#etoile tag
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JJK MEN AS DADS !‧₊˚
feat. satoru gojo, nanami kento, & toji fushiguro
SATORU GOJO
literally the kids’ best friends. satoru’s parents weren’t necessarily the most active in his life so he made it a goal to have children with someone he genuinely loved — you. he is such a supportive dad and tends to overindulge in his children’s interest… one of those dads that buys boxes of mangos just because their child said they liked mangos. they wanna learn how to play a sport? satoru’s already got multiple personal trainers in his contacts to make sure your children have the best form of education when it comes to said sport. you thought satoru was playful before? oh, when he’s with his children, he’s even worse. tag, hide and seek, tic tac toe, satoru’s allowing the kids to stay up LATE, because he’s not giving up until he wins one of those games. you argue that the kids are still young, and satoru should be the bigger person and allow the kids to win but satoru isn’t hearing NONE of that. def the type to let the kids stay home just because they said they’re feeling “sick.” you kinda had to step in at a point because the kids got on and started lying just to stay home. regardless, this man loves his kids and is willing to do anything to ensure that they, as well as his lovely wife, you, live a happy and comfortable life. one time after a long family trip, you and satoru were settled in your room while the kids were asleep and he started getting emotional because he genuinely wondered what he could have done to deserve such a loving family :(( poor baby. underneath the playful facade he puts on for the kids, he just wants to make sure they never doubt that their father loves them. you always reassure him that you and the kisses are blessed to have a husband and a father like him.
NANAMI KENTO
you and his daughter are the light of his life. there’s no place he’d rather be than home. he loves it here. he has a portrait of you and his daughter playing in the backyard at his office and always looks at it to cheer him up when he’s having a bad day. recently, your daughter has been clinging and missing him more and she absolutely hates it when kento leaves. your daughter literally takes your phone to text nanami and is constantly checking up on him at work. it’s one of the things he looks most forward to when going to work. he also loves facetiming her when he’s on break because she is always asking for nanami at home and he feels so bad.. always reads her a bedtime story before kissing her forehead and tucking her in goodnight. you and nanami recently started doing road-trips every summer to the beach because your daughter has had a recent infatuation with fish. after a long day at the beach, you, him, and your daughter walk on the boardwalk as nanami carries the little one in his arms, your hand in his as you all admire how pretty the beach is at night. it’s so sweet because nanami loved the beach growing up. the fact that he has the opportunity to go with his new family now, he couldn’t be more grateful. never fails to tell you and your daughter that he loves the both of you more than anything in life. you guys are his purpose and motivation.
TOJI FUSHIGURO
… ok so i’m sure we’ve seen how he has been as a father but—hear me out! toji loves you and his kid severely. toji has always been one to not wear his heart on his sleeve and guard himself but he’s been working really hard, and constantly does, so he can be the best husband and father for his child. although toji is seen as this tough guy in front of others, he has the softest spot for his child. everyday when he comes home from work, his face instantly lights up when he sees his little kid run up to him and give him the biggest hug. scoops the kid in his arm and kisses them on the cheek while he talks about how much he missed the child. he’s def the type of dad to enroll their kid in a sport, and for some reason i can see him being a serious soccer dad. like that man does NOT play. the type of dad to get really loud on the bleachers if another kid on the opposite team LOOKS at his kid the wrong way. constantly makes bets with his kid that if they score a goal he’ll them candy and you’re just like… ykw i’ll let them handle this. you’re just happy to be there tbh. i can imagine toji being the coach to your kid’s traveling team, so weekends are always full of road-trips to the destination where they’re playing at. teaches his kid discipline and respect at a very young age. sometimes he can be a bit tough and you know it’s out of love but sometimes you do have to step in. truly, toji means no harm—he was just brought up roughly in his household. toji parents weren’t the best either so everyday he’s happy that you’re there as a guide to him so he can be the best father possible.
#aycius#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo fluff#gojo hcs#gojo headcanons#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#toji fluff#toji hcs#toji headcanons#toji fushiguro x you#toji x reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#nanami hcs#nanami fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami headcanons#nanami x you#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#dad!nanami#dad!gojo#dad!toji#gojo x y/n#gojo smut#toji smut#nanami x reader
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5 YEARS OF SECERTS / LEWIS HAMILTON
husband lewis hamilton x wife reader / SMAU FIC
WARNINGS / none that i know of just a lot of fluff !!
FACE CLAIM / ZENDAYA
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yourusername good luck lew 🤍
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lewishamilton thank you baby ❤️
yourusername roscoe and i will be cheering you on !!
yourdad 👏👏
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f1overs lewis hamilton seen with a woman during a mercedes event. do we have a new wag? let us know what you guys think!
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user7 honestly when was the last time lewis was really seen publicly with a girl?
user79 definitely been a while
user23 why do i feel betrayed?
user02 seriously like lewis what about our kids?
user2 look at the way he’s looking at her! ahhh
user667 his outfit still ate
user09 she’s so pretty 🤩
user044 i need updates !!!!!!!!!
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f1wags lewis hamiltons rumored girlfriend has been seen at the silverstone paddock this evening!
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user8 i need them to confirm this already!
user0035 i’m here for the outfit
user7 ok she is so gorgeous what the hell
user6 i know right!
user604 this photo is being pinned on my outfit inspo pinterest board
user44 OMG!! ok so i was at the race today and i got paddock passses to the mercedes garage and i saw lewis and his girlfriend and omg they are so cute! lewis introduced her to toto and george and some other team members!
user38 your so lucky! but i have a million questions, firstly i have to ask did you meet lewis or her? and if you did what was she like? i’m dying to know lol
user44 ok so i did get to meet him and her! she is so sweet! she took the picture of my and lewis and they were so cute! he even had his hand around at all times!
user38 aww they’re so adorable 🥰
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lewishamilton i’m extremely grateful for the win this weekend! P1 was absolutely amazing! but most importantly i am extremely grateful for my lovely wife of 5 years! thank you for sticking with me through out my highs and lows and losses and wins (my most important win obviously being you) i love you so much 💗
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mercedesamgf1 mr and mrs hamilton ❤️
georgerusell63 happy for you mate!
lewishamilton thank you 🙏
yourusername aww me and roscoe are going to cry! i am so so incredibly proud of you for not only for today but for everything you have accomplished. i am forever in awe of you🤍
lewishamilton thank you love for being my rock throughout these years. there isn’t anything in this world i wouldn’t do for you my love 💋
#f1 smau#formula 1#sweeterlovers#f1 fanfic#formula one#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton smau#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton x yn
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reactions and headcanons of brozone about: how would they fell about y/n having an egg?(once married ofc) sorry if too much
John Dory
Definitely hubby material
Van life with you and him?
Chef kiss
Ok
He definitely gives malewife vibes
Because he’s so used to being the responsible one
But he also deserves a break so you split all the chores in half
You surprise him with your pregnancy announcement by giving him a cup that says “worlds greatest Dad”
He’s shocked
Like he goes still and you worry- what if he doesn’t want children? It wasn’t a planned thing
And then he just scoops you up in arms and twirls you around
So many happy tears
Instantly tells everyone possible he’s gonna be a dad
That might is now his favorite mug- but he refuses to use it until the baby is born
Those chores that you split? He is now taking on all of them so you can focus on the baby
Likes to speak to the egg, honestly he’s so sweet with it
Definitely plays brozone through headphones around the egg (“John what are you doing?” “I want them to have good taste”)
Clay
He gave up his admin house for you
Y’all still live in Putt Putt village (because I say so)
Viva moves to Pop village so he goes from co runner to leader
So y’all get her room/house
Being married to Clay is so chill
He’s so sweet and literally talks about you non stop even though more often that not you’re with him whilst he’s working
He found out about the pregnancy when you gave him a mini matching green sweater romper
He was like
“Thanks! Not sure if it’ll fit me but I love it anyway!”
It takes him a moment
He leaves the room then runs back in pointing at you like he’s in law and order
“YOURE PREGNANT?!?”
You are now on permanent bed rest
Likes to baby talk to the egg and sing it songs
Buys the new furniture immediately and then starts baby proofing the house
He’s determined to give this kid the best childhood
Bruce
When he marries you, that’s when he decides to change his name to Bruce
Y’all still open the restaurant on Vaycay island
You become the cutest couple on the island so fast
BEACH WEDDING
He definitely tears up whilst reading his vows
“Oh I’m crying…” *you pass him a q-tip* “what’s a q-tip gonna do?!”
Treats you like a queen
Another malewife vibe haver
But it’s not as strong
Y’all were already planning on having a big family
So when you tell him you’re having twins by making dinner, but putting two lil high chairs by the door
He sees them
And goes WILD
“What- is that? Does that mean? TWINS?!?!”
He’s so happy, so many happy tears whilst y’all hug
“Uh- honey? Who’s watching the stove?” “Oh shit…”
Floyd
Dedicated husband fr fR
Has photos of you everywhere
Gets drunk and gets so happy when you tell him you’re his wife not his girlfriend
“THis IS myY WiFE”
Everyone knows don’t worry
Always talked about having kids but didn’t plan for it
Well he did (but only in his lil dreams)
Then one day you made his dreams come true
He got home from hanging out with Branch
(Who you’d asked to keep him distracted)
And he comes home to a really big home cooked meal
And a decorated boiled egg
He goes to eat said egg- but you tell him to break it open
“Why?” “It’s a surprise hun- I’m not supposed to tell you”
Inside is a lil parenting book called ‘daddy and I’
Silence, smile on his face
Tears rolling down his face before he stands up and walked over to you putting the book down on the table
Wraps you up in a such a soft hug that you start crying too
Peppers kisses all over your face
“You really do make my dreams come true”
Doesn’t tell his brothers immediately- wants you to himself
Makes sure you’re careful with doing everything
Just likes to lie down on the bed with you and the egg and put his hand softly on the surface (he cries a lil bit everytime)
When he eventually tells people- it’s completely by accident
#brozone#brozone x reader#trolls band together#trolls floyd#trolls Floyd x reader#brozone floyd#brozone floyd x reader#brozone john dory x reader#brozone bruce x reader#brozone clay x reader#brozone clay#trolls clay x reader#trolls jd x reader#trolls john dory#trolls bruce#trolls bruce x reader
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✧˖° the little moments - t.w. ✧˖°
pairing: female! driver x toto wolff
summary: after a few weeks of seeing the team principal, you can’t help but post a few snapshots. after all, if no one can tell who he is, it won’t hurt. right?
a/n: i caved. perhaps i will posting some social media au content. i think it really just helps give some visuals since the reader is active on social media! the face claims are from various pinterest photos!
liked by williamsracing, lilymhe, torgerwolff, and 69,420 others!
goldengirl: maybe i’ll just stay here. forever.
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goldengirlforever: RUE, WHEN WAS THIS⁉️
f1fanboy282: and i was just planning our wedding today. smh.
alex_albon: 🤯
lilymhe: you’re telling me this is how we find out???
alex_albon: don’t worry, i’ll get the deets in the paddock for you ASAP
goldengirlforever: alex u rlly slay for that 💅🏻
danielricciardo: oh! 😀
dannyricfanpage: oh shit
f1luvrgirl: wait so ur tellin’ me that isn’t daniel?
danielricciardo: nope! not me!
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goldengirl: y’all are really goin’ feral rn in these comments.
lilymhe: because you’ve never mentioned this mystery man before! 🙄🤚🏻
goldengirl: isn’t this that the sole purpose of a soft launch? 🙄🤚🏻
f1hoetillidie: the girlies are fightinnnn 🍿
lilymhe: i promise we aren’t!!! i love her sm!!! she’s my pookie bear 🫶🏻
alex_albon: @lilymhe i thought i was your pookie bear 😢
lilymhe: @alex_albon ofc you are bby 😽
mercedesgirl172: why does that second pic kind of look like toto wolff….
totoslut: no because you’re right. i know my man & that rlly does look like him.
lewishamiltonfan9282: WAIT—
f1fan1989: they do follow each other…
hastalavistababy: and he liked the post…
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goldengirl added a posted to her story!
liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, mercedesamgf1, and 900,727 others!
goldengirl: and i will follow you into the dark
vettel08: wait a damn minute 🤨
smootheoperator: HELLO⁉️ mercedes liked the post⁉️
f1fanatic: there are rumors she’s signing with mercedes for 2025 and replacing lewis
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totoswife6272: ISN’T THIS MAN HAPPILY MARRIED? HOW MANY CHAPTERS DID WE MISS?
smoothoperator: fr i need susie to comment on all of this nonsense cause wtf
f1fangirly01: ummm.. he has kids too..
totoswife6272: now we def need susie to make a statement cause wtf
hastalavistababy: bruh someone needs to get this shit to the fia. surely that’s not ok.
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lilymhe: you guys are adorable!!! i wish ppl would just mind their business and be happy for you.
goldengirl: they don’t even know who this man is and they’re threatening to end my career lmfao
lilymhe: gotta love your fans! :’)
goldengirlforever: you guys are so cute!!! and to the rest of you… JAIL! 👹
justaninchident: toto literally just posted his wife & kids a few minutes ago. these ppl are reachinggggg
goldengirlforever: right!!! they’re just jealous or something!
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danielricciardo: as long as you’re happy 🫠
birdsofafeather: oh daniel :(
landonorris: don’t worry danny baby, you still have me <3
landostan4life: LANDO PLS—
alex_albon: when do i get to meet said mystery man? 🤨
goldengirl: one day, i promise
lilymhe: as long as i get to meet him before alex!!
goldengirl: hehehehe okie :)
williamsracing: we would also like to meet this mystery man!! @goldengirl you should bring him to the paddock one day! 👏🏻
alexandrasaintmleux: my heart!!! 🥹
#alkaline: social media au#alkaline: female driver! x toto wolff#toto wolff#toto wolff x reader#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#toto wolff x you#f1 fanfiction#formula one fanfiction
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The drunk woman was relentless, invading Tommy's personal space as he tried to step back. He kept flashing his ring, but either she hadn't noticed or simply didn't care. Tommy glanced at his watch, grateful Evan hadn't arrived yet to see this mess.
"I'm just a poor girl all alone and new to the city," she slurred, pressing closer. "Can you help me get home safely? You can drive me, and then you can come up and I can thank you properly." She traced a finger down his arm. "I'm sure your wife wouldn't mind."
'Okay, she just doesn't care,' Tommy thought, taking a step back.
"I'm sure the bartender would be happy to call a cab for you," he said firmly.
"But you're so big and strong. I would feel so protected," she pouted, swaying slightly.
"I'm flattered, but I'm sure you'll be plenty safe," Tommy said, maintaining his distance. "And my husband won't like you all over me."
"Husband?" the woman spat, her flirtatious demeanor instantly shifting. "Seriously, you're gay?" Her slurred voice dripped with disdain.
It was at that exact moment that Evan appeared.
"Oh, he's very, very gay," Evan said, draping his arms over Tommy's shoulders and pulling him in for a steamy kiss.
"Hi, baby," Tommy said when they broke apart, his earlier tension melting away at his husband's presence.
"You can go now," Evan said dismissively to the woman.
"You're the husband?" she scoffed, looking Evan up and down with obvious judgment. "What a waste."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Evan asked, his voice sharpening. Tommy could feel him tensing up beside him.
"Not worth it, sweetheart," Tommy said softly, squeezing Evan's hand. He knew that tone in his husband's voice - the one that meant someone had struck a nerve.
"No, I want to know," Evan insisted, his jaw set. The playful possessiveness from moments ago had been replaced by something harder, more defensive. "What exactly is being wasted here?"
"Your lifestyle," she sneered, waving her hand dismissively. "Two big, strong, handsome men shacking up together."
"Shacking up?" Evan said, his voice dangerously quiet. The woman had crossed a line, and Tommy knew his husband well enough to recognize when he was about to snap.
"We're not shacking up," Evan continued, holding up his left hand where his wedding ring caught the bar lights. "We're married. Legally married. I walked down an aisle, said vows, signed papers, and promised to love this man for the rest of my life. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made."
Tommy's heart swelled, watching his husband defend their marriage.
"So no, it's not a waste. What would be a waste is if I pretended to be something I'm not just to make people like you comfortable. Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to have a drink with my husband."
"You people," the girl said, shaking her head in disgust.
Tommy felt Evan stiffen next to him, ready for another round, but this time Tommy stepped forward. He'd let Evan handle it his way, now it was his turn.
"Ah, 'you people,'" Tommy said, his voice calm but firm. "Let me tell you about 'us people.' My husband and I are first responders. We put our lives on the line every single day for others - including people who think like you do. I spent years hiding who I was because of that kind of hatred, afraid to be myself. But then I finally accepted who I really was, and that opened my heart to the possibility of love. And I found it - real, earth-shattering, life-changing love."
He pulled Evan closer, feeling his husband relax against him. "So the only waste here would be letting people like you make us ashamed of something so beautiful."
Tommy turned away from the woman, effectively dismissing her. "Come on, baby."
The woman slunk away into the crowd, her previous bravado gone.
"You ok, babe?" Evan asked, turning to Tommy with concern.
"Are you kidding?" Tommy said, pulling him closer by his belt loops. "That was extremely sexy watching you tell her off like that. Look how far my little baby bi has come."
"Couldn't have done it without you," Evan said softly.
"You know, I'm actually more hungry than thirsty," Tommy said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh, is that so?" Evan replied, a knowing smirk spreading across his face."Well, we should probably do something about that."
"Yeah, we probably better," Tommy said, pulling Evan in for a heated kiss.
When they broke apart, Evan was speechless. He shook his head. "But not here."
"Right, right, let's get out of here."
They stumbled out of the bar together, Tommy tugging Evan along by their joined hands. Their laughter mixed with the night air, any trace of anger long forgotten replaced by the joy of just being together.
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I love ur hc sm!! Can I request hc for Chris and/or Leon settling down with a family? They deserve a happy ending after so much fighting 🥹
L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)
ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; family/ kid hc’s
ೃ⁀➷ warnings; none!
ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; needed to add a little something for carlos bc i love him, half of this is mostly what theyd b like having kids LOL, no proofread im lazy ahahhahaah
C. OLIVEIRA
he’s a very domestic man at heart so had absolutely no problem with settling down with you after all the rc bs. was rather extremely willing to do so, actually
you want to get married? sure! you want a big wedding with friends and family? no problem! small wedding with only those closest to you? of course! you don’t want to get married? absolutely anything for you.
said this before and i’ll say it again, absolute girl dad.
to him, there’s genuinely nothing better than coming home to his girls - getting greeted by little arms wrapping around his legs the moment he steps through the door
attends every single parent event without fail - if he’s not working, of course… might call in sick to not let his little one down
sits down and does homework with them, yet he ends up confused aswell and the hw does not end up being done, unless you intervene
you know the ‘bad cop and good cop’ dynamic? he’s definitely the good cop - constantly letting the kid(s) off with pretty much anything and everything, claiming they’re too little to understand
as a result, he’s definitely the favourite
L. KENNEDY
almost always thought of the white picket fence life - a dog, pretty wife, two kids and maybe a dog. yet always shoved that into the back of his mind and ignored it completely
but now that he’s met you he lets himself dream a little, until those dreams become a reality
if you two have kids then at the start, he’ll be weary as fuck. constantly doubting himself, not knowing if he’ll even know what the hell to do once said kid is in the world
but he’s a complete natural! to the point it pisses you off. the moment the kids handed to their dad, all the tears suddenly stop and they’re all happy again - as if you haven’t been trying to get them to stop crying for the past hour
and he doesn’t even acknowledge it.
his kids are definitely pub (bar) kids. the two of you sat in a booth with friends having a drink and talking or whatever, and there’s just little toddlers running around - coming back to the table every once in a while for some apple juice or whatnot
sits there and watches cartoons with the kid(s), started off as a one off and now he genuinely can’t stop - when cartoon network starts playing the old cartoons later at night? you best believe he’s sat there watching them - screw bedtime. dexter’s laboratory is on
he’d be rather iffy about a big wedding. but if it’s what you want you best believe he’ll do it for you
C. REDFIELD
definitely that dad that falls asleep with the kids on the couch whilst watching a match of something on the tv
goes to the parent teacher meetings and genuinely does not give a fuck. has the most DEADPAN look on his face ever, went once and never again
like i said before, definitely bring his ‘military like’ bsaa training home but makes it something fun, something the kids aren’t afraid of at all
imagine bath time - chris shouting vigorous orders at them and the kid(s) just shouting back at him in response
‘DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES OR IT WILL STING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
“OK!”
he’s away from home quite a bit but whenever he comes home and the lights are off, he always tucks their sleeping form in before tucking you in yourself, planting a small kiss on your forehead, what a sweetheart
marriage is a bit of a… weary concept for him. he wants to and loves you a lot, don’t get me wrong. but what if someone finds out about you and takes advantage of that?
in the end, he manages to push those thoughts away and happily marries you
definitely gets the kid(s) into extracurricular sports/ activities and you best believe he’s at every match or training
usually rather soft and understanding with the kid(s), yet knows when to be firm and set his foot down - the perfect balance
#ೃ⁀➷. olka’s bs#this is more kids hc or smthing LMAOO#resident evil#resident evil 3#resident evil 5#chris redfield#chris redfield x reader#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x reader#carlos oliveira x reader#carlos oliveira
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yandere omega cultist introduction
more bad art. more disjointed thoughts. i hope i don't contradict myself when i write his part 2.
cw;; religion, omegaverse, yandere tendencies, nsft
Nephite is a very devoted and proud follower of Happy Homes. he loves his church, he loves his pastor, he loves his god.
he's always so happy to prepare the sacrament and take care of the youngest members of the church. absolutely anything he can do to help makes him happy.
his father is a very strict and rigid in his beliefs kind of man. his beliefs aligned nicely with the founder's so he and his wife joined when they had just gotten married. all their children have been raised in the cult and they don't know about anything outside of the compound.
Nephite's family along with a few others are technically considered lowest in the church hierarchy because they entered the church after marriage. they don't get treated poorly it just means they're in charge of providing food for the compound.
the coming of age omegas were promised that if they brought new alphas to the cult they would raise in rank with their new families.
Nephite was especially looked at favourably for this due to being a "dominant" omega. he was promised that his new family would be able to rise to the level of elder right under the founder's own family.
his family was more excited about the new power than he was, he just wanted to serve the church.
after meeting you the promise that elders were allowed to go into the city made the raise in rank more appealing to him.
he wants to go to all of your favorite places. he wants to go to the movies and eat popcorn. he wants to play games at the arcade. he wants to try sweets at the cafe. he's never wanted to go to the outside world before he met you.
the church never teaches that the outside world is some ominous and dangerous threat. just that impure omegas have convinced people to disrupt the natural order. if you showed any member of the cult omega/omega couples they would combust.
thats why Nephite has to save you. he has to pull you away from the wickedness of the outside world before you become ruined. if you told him you'd been in alpha/alpha relationships he would combust.
honestly if you tell him about your dating history or experiences he'll combust. he knows it's wrong for an omega to be angry and aggressive but he can't help himself. the idea of any impure hands touching you sends him spiraling.
he could easily be convinced someone else in the cult wants you for themselves. especially if his pastor says so.
he trusts anything his pastor tells him even if it was utterly ridiculous. he was the kind of kid who believed in santa until adulthood. he would believe you if you said the sky was red.
you're the only one who overrides the pastor's words. if the pastor tells him to leave you because you don't love him he wouldn't believe it.
honestly if you started saying you don't love him he could probably justify to himself why you're lying. lying is a sin but its ok he forgives you.
he loves wearing dresses. at first it might seem like a religious thing but the other male omegas in the community usually only wear dresses to church. he wears them all year round.
if you buy him a sundress he'll be so happy he'll wear it every chance he gets. he flaunts it to all his friends how his alpha got him something pretty.
buy him anything and the whole commune will know about it baring few exceptions. you bought him a new bible? he takes it with him everywhere. you bought him some jewelry? its always on to show off at a moments notice. you gave him a cool rock? its his lucky rock and has to go everywhere with him.
he adores pet names. call him anything even if it doesn't sound that cute and he's thrilled. he calls you husband and alpha and dearest until he can't talk anymore.
if you call him wife he'll probably start crying. he likes husband too but he was taught all omegas are wives so he'll probably be confused at first if you call him that.
nsfw
his dad was in charge of making his account and monitoring his messages so unfortunately for you if you ever sent something dirty. the pastor probably also saw it. sorry.
Nephite definitely smells like blackberries and honey. its sweet and warm and permeates through everything he owns.
he has a breeding kink. major breeding kink. after your first night together its like he's constantly in heat (his actual heats are so much worse). he knows it's a bit naughty but he won't be satisfied until he's pregnant.
he'll be understanding if not a bit sad if you don't want to have kids but still tell him you're gonna get him pregnant every night anyway.
one of the few things he wouldn't go around letting everyone know you gifted him is lingerie and toys.
you'll need to explain toys to him a little bit but he understands lingerie. he loves lingerie. if you buy him some he'll wear it under his dresses all the time. it feels a bit naughty but he doesn't mind.
definitely secretly has a corruption kink. he's devoted his whole life to being a pure innocent soul so when his husband who he's equally devoted to starts making him be naughty he gets such a thrill.
he'll cry and beg you to not turn him into a pervert but he's just talk. nothing makes him squirt harder than being told he's dirty.
and he is a squirter. you have to work him to it but the moment your knot pops inside of him its over for him.
the cult doesn't believe in modern medicine like heat suppressants or birth control so everyone in the compound uses natural remedies for everything. except that doesn't work for dominant omegas. most modern heat suppressants don't. Nephite's first heat was absolutely brutal for him and he was stuck in bed for two weeks before they finally let him see a doctor in the city. that's when he learned about his status and he was put on some of the strongest heat suppressants. it works but it did make him feel weaker sometimes.
luckily now he's married so he threw all that out. he doesn't let you take any rut inhibitors either. when it's time for either of you he just politely tells the pastor that he'll be gone for the next two weeks. they don't always last that long but he likes to get extra cuddles in while the last of it fades.
its during his first heat with you that you mark him. its a weird marriage ritual the cult has where the pastor distributed heat inducers into Nephite. the elders of the cult along with the pastor watched you guys. it really ramped up the creepy cult vibes. but Nephite was happy.
he knows you can't mark him more than once but he always wants you to bite him again. he likes if you leave any marks on him. claw his hips, bite his neck, leave hickeys on his chest. he doesn't care how hard it is to cover up he'll be happy.
loves to steal your clothes. he'll remake his nest about once a week and give you back your clothes so you can add your scent again. and the ones that dont pass the nest test he wears to bed until they lose their smell.
he'll welcome you home like "do you want dinner, a bath, or me?" and if you don't say him he'll pout all through dinner.
#top male reader#dom male reader#male reader#yandere ideas#yandere x male reader#sub yandere#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere omega#alpha reader#nephy would be so sad to know i took a break halfway through to read j.j.k smut#yandere cultist
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Secret Is Out 2
Request: Can I request a Jake Sully x Neytiri x Human/Avatar reader poly fic? Part 2 to Secert Is Out.
Reader accidentally walks in on Jake and Neytiri having sex. She gets embarrassed and is about to leave but they ask her to join them. Includes - Jake and reader giving into temptation, Jake calling reader baby or babygirl, Neytiri wanting to just watch as her husband pleasures reader, reader being hesitant at first but with Jak's soothing yet dirty words, she finally gives in.
Paring: Jake Sully x Neytiri x Fem!Avatar!Reader
Warnings: MDNI 18+, NSFW, orals (m & f recieving), p in v, switch Jake, switch reader, sub neytiri, threesome, girl x girl, facials, titty playing, face sitting, kissing, cum eating.
Word Count: 3k
Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If you have and issue with that feel free to scroll and do not interact with my account or any of my posts.
“Hey babygirl how you holding up in here?” Jake asked you as he walked into your marui pod like he lives there. It has been about 6 months since you decided to stay at the reef and life has been better. You are closer to your daughter that ever before and Jake has been feeling a lot like he was when he was your husband. You aren’t sure how to feel about it but it is very nostalgic, you never thought you’d feel that way again.
“I’m fine Jake you do not have to come every day to ask how I am doing, Kiri isn’t here” Kiri moved in with your shortly after you decided to stay, it was nice finally being a family. Of course, her siblings are still her siblings and they come around often to your marui pod, you have great relationships with all of them. You only really ever see Neytiri when you all eat together. You and Jake, both said it would benefit the children for them to see us getting along after everything that has happened and she agreed.
She does not hate you, Neytiri is a kind woman, but not one of many words. You've seen her move closer to you whilst eating gradually and now she opts to sit right next to you which is something you did not expect from her. She is beautiful and strong; you do not go out of your way to put yourself in situations with her you still don’t fully know how she feels about you.
“I know I don’t have to come here every day, but I just want to make sure you're settling in fine.”
“Jake, I’ve been here for six months, I settled five months ago... why are you really here?” you look up from your weaving basket to his face. “I don’t know babygirl, it’s nice to have you around again, it’s not like we spent much time together after the divorce, I want to make sure you know I am sorry for how it happened, it wasn’t fair to you. I let you deal with an entire pregnancy and birth of our first child alone.”
“Our first child? Jake she is our only child. And it is not your fault, I choose to keep that from you, we have had this conversation more than a doesn’t times now Jake, it’s not like you don’t know your daughter. You just didn’t know she was yours.” you said to him.
“Ok real talk, Neytiri thinks you should be more involved in the children's lives. You don’t do much besides sit in here all day, go out enjoy the beach, you always loved the beaches on earth when we would drive down what’s different?” Jake said
“Jake you aren’t seriously asking me that are you? What's different now is we aren’t together anyone. I want to keep those happy married memories to myself, I stayed to be closer to my daughter, to the children, not to enjoy the fucking scenery” You huffed.
“Ok maybe that came out wrong, how about you think about it and later in the week we call all go have a nice fun beach day without doing chores, we can have a cook out, like the old times and just relax.” Jake pitched his idea to get you move involved and it just kind of made you mad. Why would you want to do out there and be around him and his new wife and their perfect kids. Not that your daughter isn’t the most special being on this moon. It's the principle.
“I’ll think about it okay?” You sighed and went back to weaving while Jake took his leave. You knew being here would be hard but you didn’t think it would be this hard. You don’t want to watch the love of your life who is now your ex-husband fall all over another woman. How is that even remoting fair to you? Doesn’t help that she is probably the most gorgeous woman in this entire clan.
---
The next few days went on normally, Jake still stopped by to remind you about beach day. You went shelf searching with Kiri and Tuk, you ate meals as a family every day. You even rode an ilu for the third time since you’ve been at the reef with Neteyam and Lo’ak.
All in all, it was a good week so you decided to agree to the beach day with Jake, mentally preparing yourself to be unfazed by his love for his new woman. You walk slowly over to this marui pod, it was only a couple doors away from yours. The kids had gone out the metkayina children to explore the reef and would be back by dinner so you had time to speak to Jake and Neytiri about making plans.
You expecting them both to be at home because of the giggling you heard before you got there, good sign the marui flap was open so you thought nothing of it when you walked in. However, your eyes were meet with quite the scene, jake was sitting in the corner of the marui pod leaning back against the wall looking down at his wife between his legs as she jerks off his cock. His hands are in her hair holding it up slightly but not a full ponytail. Her tongue darts out to lick the pre cum off his tip and you hear him gasp in sync with yours.
You feel like you brain lagged when you saw them you didn’t know what to do but you couldn’t stop looking, “What the fuck!” you yell and covered your eyes. You heard them scramble but you don’t move your hands so you aren’t sure what they look like right now. “Y/n! What are you doing here?” Jake asked.
You peaked through your fingers to see Neytiri sitting on her calves still between Jake’s legs, topless. Jake has his hand cover his dick like you’ve never seen it. You drop your hands and dart your eyes between then. “I came to tell you I want to do the beach day thing...clearly, I came at a bad time. You could have shut the flap no one wants to see this” your eyes kept getting drawn from Jake’s poorly covered cock to Neytiri’s perky tits, you tried to look away but you just couldn’t. “Sorry, we weren’t expecting you to come by, not that we mind...” Neytiri spoke up, sounds like that sentence had a double meaning.
Only then you clocked the way she looked at you, like she wanted to eat you. Neytiri stood up slowly, her tail swayed as she walked up to you. You couldn’t move a muscle like you were frozen in time, she appeared as if she didn’t care whether or not someone saw her half naked form when she stepped outside directly in front of you. She walked circles around you curling your tail around her hand running her fingers down your back. “What are you doing?” you ask her softly.
“I am observing you. Ever since I have known you, I have respected you. I can smell you, normal people would walk away from a private moment, not disrupt it. So, what are you doing?” her voice was smooth, calm, as if she knew exactly what you were thinking.
“Unintentionally disrupting.” Your eyes follow her now as she takes your hand and pull you into the pod, this time closing the flap. She pauses her movements next to you and looks at Jake. You mimic her action looking at him as well. The only two women he has ever loved standing in front of his naked form, he isn’t sure what to do but he knows he wants to do it. “I see the way you look at her, she is not just your ex now ma Jake, she is the mother of one of your children, maybe after this a couple more” Neytiri spoke to him.
She took your hand guiding you to walk closer to him and you make no move to fight her. “He was yours first, show me how you please him I want to learn.” you look at jake and his eyes darted to his now wife then back to you, he sees your hesitance to join them, but he doesn’t want anything more. You drop to your knees and you feel Neytiri’s hand above your neck untying your top. When it falls to the floor in front of you, you see Jake dart his eyes down to your tits and back up to your face.
Maybe it was the human genes but your tits were on the bigger side. His eyes dart back down and he licked his lips trapping it between his teeth. “Are you sure about this?” your question is directed to Jake; he is the one you need to know wants you before you put yourself more into this position. Neytiri joined you between Jakes legs and he looked at you both before letting out a breath, “yes babygirl, I want you, remember how much fun we used to have, how much you watched to fuck around every corner, under every tree? I know you want this just as much as we do. I know everything has been tough but let me make it up to you. Your hands swatted his away from his cock and you took it in your hands, you stroked it a couple times before finally saying something.
“He likes it when you roll your tongue around the tip, pay attention to it, makes him feel good, like this” your tongue darts out and you kitten lick his tip taking the pearls of pre-cum into your mouth.
You close your lips around him circling your tongue listening to the way he moaned at the feeling of you on him again. Neytiri pulled your hair up into a ponytail and held it on top of your head as you sucked on Jake’s cock. Her other hand moves up and down his thigh as she moved her head under your running her tongue over the length of his cock.
Jake thought he was gonna lose his mind, he never had two women together before, let alone two women he loves sucking on his cock. You pull your head off looking up at him when you speak again, “He likes it when you suck on his balls too”
Neytiri wasted no time going down lower to run her tongue on his balls. You crawled up to his face letting hair fall down your back lining your cunt up with the tip of his cock. You were directly over him now but made no move to sink down on him. You let your cunt making his cock wet feeling the way every shift in his position hit your clit.
“You want me?” You whispered to Jake as you looked him in the eye, “want me to sit down on your cock baby?” your mouth went down to kiss along his neck loving the way he submitted to you so easily. “Y-yea, yea please” he whimpered, making Jake turn into a puddle under you has never been difficult. “Awe, you already know what to do, I don’t have to remind you” you smile into his skin before you pulled back sitting up on your knees.
You hand come down behind you and pull Neytiri up from Jake’s cock by her hair, her hand flies up to yours as she squeals but quickly pat down and follow your movements. “Lay down” you say to Jake and he waste no time scooting down on his back and watches as you tell Neytiri to sit on his face. Jake thinks he is about to explode and he hasn’t even got his cock in one of you yet.
He had forgot how good it felt to let go and let you take the lead, Neytiri is a strong woman, but in bed she was a sub through and through. Jake was always in charge of her, not of you. “All your weight sweetheart, he won’t break” you pushed her down by her shoulder and watch as her body slumped forward as his tongue on her clit.
She looks so pretty when she moans like that, so beautiful, you almost got lost in just watching her get off on his face. One of Jake’s big arms wraps around Neytiri’s thigh and the other comes to look for your hip. You finally allow yourself to sink down on his big cock. It’s been so long since you felt it, the sting of the stretch is amazing. You sit for a second before starting to bounce slowly on his gradually increasing your pace.
Every time Jake moans into Neytiri she doubles over until you and both only inches away from each other. One of your hands comes to your neck and she pulls you in for a heated kiss. Her tongue rolls around yours making a mess out of both of you. Neytiri comes easily on his cock, rolling her hips until she slides down his chest until she is seated on his abdomen. Her hands come to your waist holding you as you bounce up and down on Jake’s cock.
Neytiri kisses down your neck to your tits and sucks on the nipple greedily. Your moans become louder and your pace becomes messy as you let go on Jake’s cock. He feels the way you gush wetting his cock inside you. He had to take a second to look away so he doesn’t cum inside you so quickly, he knows he is in for more. When you slow down and stop your pace Neytiri hops off Jake and before you can she speaks, “Ma Jake, please her, I want to watch you please her, like you used to” you look at her still breathing heavily before your eyes switch to Jake.
“Yes ma’am” he says before he pulls you off his dick and flips you over on all fours. “She likes this position; she used to bend over and take it anywhere you know?” he said to his wife as his hand brushing the skin of your back. Hearing him tell her those things makes you skin hot, your neck feels like it was on fire, you were blushing. Your skin turns purple and she sees it smiling at the sight of you getting flustered.
You push your ass back into him letting him know you wanted him to stick it in like you always had. Jake chuckled behind you remembering all the different ways and places he fucked you and make you take his cum. His cock slips into you once again, not as painfully as the first time but you still feel the stretch. His cock immediately started hitting you g-spot making you mewl into the air.
Your head doesn’t take long to drop and Neytiri brushed your hair over your shoulder so she can see your face from neck to you. Her toys with her clit watching the way your brow furrowed and your nose scrunches feeling Jake thrust into you so deeply. “F-fuck Jake” his thrust speed up at your words. He always loved hearing you say his name, loved the way you feel apart on his cock.
“Feels good babygirl? Taking me so fucking well” he says through gritted teeth. His pace speeds up turning your whimpers in full blown screams, you can’t help it he feels so good inside you, he always knew just how to make you cum. Jake watches the way your ass bounces against his body and he almost loses it. The jiggly of your ass sends him way back to when he first buried his cock on it, to the first time he buried his face in it.
He would never want you to feel like this is all he loves about you but by Eywa Jake has always loved your ass. The way it moves when you walk, the way it looks when he used to slap it when you would walk by, when you would press it up against him when you slept. Makes him think about fucking you all the time. His hand comes down hard on your ass making you mewl loudly as he rubs the area.
“Look baby, she’s gonna cum on my cock” he smiles as he feels your walls clamp down on him hard, he always knew how to manipulate your body the way he wanted. You don’t really process the way Neytiri smiles at this, the way she was so pleased Jake did exactly what she thought he would do for you, make you feel good.
He slows his pace and pulls out of you letting you fall to the side. You lay and watch the way Neytiri smiles and leaps into Jake’s arms as they indulge themselves in a heated kiss. It was one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen him do, and Jake used to do incredibly hot things. He pulls away from her when he sees you sit up on your knees like Neytiri and move closer to them. He pulls you into a heated kiss and he has both his arms wrapped around you both.
Your hand moves down to stroke his cock that was still hard when you felt Neytiri’s hand too. “You didn’t cum” you whisper against his lips.
“Oh, I’m about too babygirl” he smiles before he lets you both go standing up on his feet in front of you. Both you and Neytiri look up at him with wide eyes as he begins stroking his cock over your faces. “Tongues out” he demands as he speeds up his pace and cums on your tongues and cheeks, some even landing on your chest. He looked down lovingly at you both as you share sweet kisses tasting his cum on your skin.
Best thing he ever did was invite you to beach day.
🪸I hope you all enjoyed reading! This was a fun request to make and I definitely enjoyed it!
🪸Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated
Taglist:
@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @xrollingmyeyesx @m1tsu-ki @teymars @nilahsstuff @pandoraslxna @kylimarz @quicktosimp @its-jennarose @r11k4 @inlovewithpandora @neteyamsoare @miss-kuki-nz @anonymuslydumb @winterhi09 @goofygremlin123 @jakesullyfatjuicypeen
#jake sully x neytiri#neytiri x jake#jake x reader#jake smut#jake <3#jake avatar#avatar jake sully#jake sully smut#jake sully x reader#jake sully imagine#dilf jake sully#neytiri atwow#neytiri x y/n#jake x neytiri x reader#neytiri x reader#neytiri avatar#neytiri#neytiri sully
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Joel Dealing with Wife: The Duck Dilemma
Joel x F!Reader
Summary: a day at a local farm festival is all fun and games... until it isn't for Joel.
- - - -
He thought the little farm festival with petting area was going to be a good idea.( Like a dumbass) all the way up until Sarah, sitting atop his shoulders, actually sees the little enclosed area and the happy baby goats and sheep and piglets getting cozy around other little kids. Then she starts squealing and pointing excitedly, kicking Joel's chest and tugging his hair to move faster.
He sets her down right outside. You slather the complimentary hand sanitizer foam all between her fingers and up her wrists, and then carefully do the "Listening" chant so she pays attention.
"Remember, 2 finger pet. Veeeery gentle. Watch before you touch. No hands near mouths. And they do NOT need your kisses. Okay baby?"
She nods heavily once, seemingly understanding it all.
Then, you release her into the wild.
You and Joel watch from outside the gate as Sarah carefully waddles to each one in her overalls and little boots. She pets them gently, but they seem more interested in other kids with sticky remnants of food still on their fingers and mouths. Sarah looks so dejected, crossing her hands and waiting patiently.
Like the hero that he is, Joel motions her over and hands her a milk bottle he had somehow bought when you werent paying attention. She eagerly takes it with a smile and walks back to the center.
"Babas! Get babas!" Sarah shouts, holding up the milk bottle. Immediately all the animals come rushing to her.
You panic for a moment that shes gonna be trampled and eaten. Instead she's laughing as they all lick her cheeks and tongues wag in favor of the bottle. She even takes turns with other kids to feed with the bottle and they pass around the affection. Once she finishes up, she skips back towards you.
You slather more handsanitzer on her and wipe her with your pack of wipes.
You go from each circle, learning about the new 2 week old piggies getting milk from momma, the boat of ducklings under their heating lamp, a surprisingly impressive show of a squirrel on a mini jet ski, until finally wearing out for the day and walking back to the car with more cotton candy than you'll ever eat in your lifetime.
He can feel the question coming a mile away from you.
"Joel, can we get baby goat."
"No."
"Baby sheep?"
"No."
"Baby...baby duck?"
He holds up Sarah to your face. "How about this baby. Take this one home."
"Oh right. I do love that one." You hoist her into your arms so she can sit on your hip.
Car is loaded, Sarah buckled in a little too happily, and you indulge in some sugary goodness.
On way hone you two hear a peep from the back.
"What was that Sarah?"
"Nufin!" She says quickly. You turn and see her casually tossing her legs and looking around the car, blowing air through her lips pretending to whistle as if bored. Shrugging, you turn back to the front.
But you hear some peeping again, and see through the mirror that Sarah is kissing an emerging little bill in her jacket that is moving of its own.
"Sarah, WHAT IS that."
The little duck pokes it's head out.
You gasp, covering your mouth. "Oh my god..."
Joel whips around and widens at the stowaway duckling nestled into her chest.
He looks between you and Sarah several times before landing his mark. "YOU!" He accuses with a pointed finger at your direction.
"ME??? I DIDNT TELL HER TO TAKE A DUCK!"
"YOU BEEN BEGGIN FOR ONE--"
" I WOULD NOT INCIRMINATE MY DAUGHTER INTO STEALING. Sarah we have to take that back."
"No! Mine!" She holds the flightless little thing defensively to her chest.
"No Sarah, not yours. She has to go with her mommy.
"Ok." She holds it out to you, "Here Mommy!"
"No not me Mommy. Her own Mommy. Duck Mommy. Although it's really... cute. And soft. Probably wanting some attention from a good family...."
"BUT!" Joel snaps, mostly at you.
"BUT we are still taking her back!"
She sniffles and rubs it's soft head against her puffy cheeks, saying goodbye to the duck as you guys go back to the farm.
"Are we raising a kleptomaniac?" You whisper to your fuming husband.
You all apologize profusely at the farm.
"It happens more often than you think," the caretaker laughs. As Joel loads Sarah back in her seat, the handler pulls you aside.
"We're actually not very well funded as we used to"
"Oh I'm so sorry. That's such a shame, this was such a great event and helps kids learn so much."
"Well the thing is.... we don't have the money or staff to continue caring for the ducks once they're a certain age. So if youre open to a donation..."
Joel checks his watch as Sarah clears her tears in the back. He looks at the rear view mirror and you're returning almost with a skip, pulling begind you a wagon.
"What the hell is--"
6 baby ducks quack happily at him.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! WE RETURN ONE AND GET 6 MORE? HOW DOES THAT ADD UP! SHE DOES GET THIS STEALING FROM YOU!"
"please Joel please please please they need a home!!"
Sarah turns and reaches as far out her seat as possible to be able to see the bickering and cart, and she instantly squeals excitedly kicking her feet.
"You're REWARDING HER FOR STEALING"
"JOEL PLEASE! I never ask ANYTHING of you!"
Hes so bewildered by that statement alone, his jaw nearly snapping off and buring 6 feet under the ground.
He puts his hands on his hips ans taps his foot angrily. Between your teary eyes and clasped hands and checking on Sarah who had an equally powerful trembling pouty lips of begging, he has to take a deep breath to relieve the smoke billowing from his ears and nostrils.
-
A smile on both your and Sarah's face and 6 happy ducks quacking away in the trunk.
"I love you," you say sweetly.
He grumbles unhappily but forces his hand in your lap to hold, scowling with a tight grip on the wheel all the way home.
- - - -
Notes: idc if nobody asks for it but i already have a pt 2 for this at the Miller Household
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