#he had so much potential as Thomas’ love interest!

[waffle-bubbles]

I’ll never forgive Downton Abbey for what they did to Richard Ellis’ character

[water-to-drink]

How They Became Attracted to You pt2

(Characters): Sethos, Ayato, Itto, & Thoma

(Synopsis): First meetings with the most popular or influential students at the academy and how their love for you blossomed

(Tags/Warnings): gn!reader, school au, stalking, Kaeya is called a whore and a harlot in this, reader gets tackled, reader is an artist, (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 1.7k

(A/n): Sorry there’s none of the female characters in this one, tell me which characters you want to see in the next one

Part one

Sethos

🏜️ Like Ayaka, he saw you in the hallway with your sketchbook in hand or you drawing in it but instead of leaving you be, Sethos walked up to you and began to introduce himself. He goes on about how he rarely sees you talking with anyone and he wants to change that

🏜️ Just like that you were adopted by an extrovert. Sethos would find you and immediately talk to you, at first you went along with it because you didn’t have the guts to tell him to leave you alone and you wanted to be more social. After a couple of days you soon warmed up to his presence around you all the time

🏜️ You and Sethos would talk to each other and laugh at each other’s jokes, to him your humor came natural and often times caught him off guard making him double over in laughter. Sethos would introduce you to one of his friends and you got along great with him, Sethos’ heart swelled with joy seeing you spread your wings

🏜️ That was until he saw you with Kaeya, laughing and acting all buddy-buddy with him. A twinge of jealousy bubbled in his chest, sure he wanted you to be more social but not with him of all people! He’ll only break your heart after he got what he wanted

🏜️ Though Sethos doesn’t encourage stalking, but in this instance it’s warranted. Following you and that whore, he saw something that he feared the most. The look in his eye, it’s love!

🏜️ Sethos vowed to himself that he would protect you from that harlot and totally not to potentially have a relationship with you. No sir, Sethos doesn’t want to hold your hand nor kiss you on your soft lips. Obviously not! He’s just looking out for a friend

Ayato

🧋Isn’t stupid, as part of the student council and eldest son to the Kamisato family Ayato is more than familiar to picking up on whether people are hiding something from him, especially his dearest sister. He noticed that Ayaka seemed different, more happy and she won’t tell him what’s going on in her life (so mean (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) )

🧋 So as any loving brother Ayato sent members of the Shuumatsuban to follow his sister and to his surprise they followed her to a rinky dink cafe. The more interesting fact is that they found her talking to a waiter, you in fact, and both of you seemed very close. With his interest peaked Ayato had the Shuumatsuban follow you now

🧋 They pulled up the most basic information on you, coming from a low income family gave the blue haired student pause. Are you trying to warm up to his sister in attempt to get money from her? He can’t have someone trying to take advantage of his family, so time to delve in deeper. Having his spies enter the cafe and watch while you chat with Ayaka, an interesting thing came up during the investigation. Ayaka didn’t give much details about the family, only the fact that she has a brother who goes to the same school as her. Well at least that quells one of his concerns that you aren’t after their money

🧋 Maybe finally his dear sister has a friend that she can talk to like a normal girl and maybe he can check out your family’s cafe when Ayaka isn’t there and talk to you. But he has to be sure of that and so he investigated you even more

🧋 The more info they got, i.e. photos and videos, the more he finds you interesting. You’re so quick and witty with your responses with the few friends you have, even though he has the Shuumatsuban following your every move and sending Ayato the reports he feels that he’s right there with you. This goes on for a couple of weeks and soon it isn’t enough for him to just watch you on his phone, he has to talk to you in person. “Be natural” is what he told himself as he walked into your family’s cafe and took a seat in one of the booths

“Hello sir, what can I start you with?”

“Just black coffee.”

“Okay.” You said before you went to get the coffee pot and return to pour some in a white mug. “Would that be all sir?”

“Yes, and please call me Ayato.” The blue haired man spoke

🧋 Ayato made small talk and quickly found out that you were a shy little thing, cute. You nervously answered his questions and asked some yourself, obviously trying to be more social. It was clear that you weren’t fully out of your shell but he’ll take what can get. However as the hours rolled past you slowly showed that witty nature you had. Ayato never had so much fun talking to someone before, he was sad that once closing time arrived and thus had to leave. No matter there’s always next time, for your time the young man gave you a 100 dollar note. He loved the look of shock on your face

“Sir I can’t expect this!” You put the 100 back in his hands. “I had a good time but, I can’t take it in good conscience!”

🧋 Ohh he’s going to have fun spoiling you

Itto

🪲 Your first time meeting wasn’t too romantic or special, it was more chaotic to say the least. One day after school Itto was looking for the onikabuto he found earlier today, he had a feeling that bug would be his champion! While scouring the hallways the one heard a scream. So as any unreasonable person would do he ran into the classroom to see you about to slam your sketchbook on his meal ticket!

🪲 The obvious thing to do is to tackle you to the ground, don’t worry he used his hand to shield your head from hitting the floor. When he first got a good look at you, the larger student thought that you were cute. The look of shock was what snapped him out of it and made him get off of you

“I’m so sorry, but you were about to step on my onikabuto!”

🪲 You were still shaken up as you watched the oni pick up the bug and put it in the breast pocket of his blazer, feeling your hands empty you look around and don’t see what you’re looking for, until your eyes lands on the open window and your heart instantly drops

“Ack! My sketchbook!” You yelled out upon seeing your precious work in the school pond

“Don’t worry I’ll go get it!” The oni said

🪲 You watched as the white haired oni run out the room and out the building, he picked it up and threw you a thumbs up. Finally coming back to the classroom, Itto handed you the sopping sketchbook

“Thanks…” you said

“Uhhh, I’ll make it up to you! I swear on my oni pride!”

“You don’t have to. It’s fine.”

🪲 It wasn’t fine to Itto, he thrashed your book and so he has to make it up to you. The day after that little event Itto would find you at lunch and buy you milk cream bread from the canteen, he would sit with you on the roof and watch you draw much to your dismay

🪲 Itto would excitedly ask you about the characters and came to learn you like a lot of the manga that he likes! The more time Itto spends talking with you he sees you as one of the guys in the gang, no definitely more than that. Maybe a best friend, or a super friend? Whatever he just likes spending time with you

Thoma

🧹 Someone who met you at your family’s cafe, he knew you before you entered the academy. He comes in whenever he can to get away from the hectic schedule being one of the many secretaries of the student council and right hand of Kamisato Ayato. Not to mention he has to run all around campus either dropping stuff off or getting items, but here it’s still and quiet. A time to himself

🧹 Since the cafe isn’t well known and often times empty except for a few elderly customers drinking coffee, you know Thoma on a first name basis. He’s a bit of a regular and you know his order by heart. A croissant sandwich with a latte. You would sit and talk about stuff with the blond, you actually have a lot of stuff in common

🧹 You two relate to each other, not coming from well off backgrounds but against all odds both of you got accepted into a prestigious school. He knows the feeling of being looked down upon and having to keep your head up the whole time. Hell, the reason he joined the student council was to be respected like everyone else, but now he’s seen as the student council’s errand boy, here he can be him and not Ayato’s secretary

🧹 Sure he works hard, but seeing you work whenever the cafe gets a little spike in customers just inspires him to work even harder. The sight still stays with him as he is running some errands back on campus. He vows to get good grades, go to a good college, get a good job and hopefully support you

🧹 In his little fantasy of you two being married Thoma didn’t see where he was going and bumped into someone in the hallway. The papers in his hands scattered across the hallway, the poor boy profusely apologized to you as he picked up all of the papers and ran off to wherever he was originally going. Once back at the student council room, Thoma sorted through the papers and find a drawing of him sitting at the cafe. A piece of art in the blond’s eyes, he wonder how it got there

“Uhh excuse me?”

🧹 Thoma turns around to see you at the door looking down at your feet, he instantly thought that you looked cute in the school uniform

“I think you got something of mines.”

🧹 The blond hands you the drawing of him and a sudden look of realization and then horror appears on your face. You apologize profusely

“Thoma! I just was trying to do a still life to expand my portfolio!” You nervously explained

“It’s nothing, it’s actually pretty good. I can be your model if you want.” Thoma scratched the side of his face

“Ehhh?”

[disappearinginq]

I really wish I could be convinced that more people would be interested in non-ship stuff for fandoms I'm in.

Look, we all know we write for ourselves. I get it. I do. But my desire (ability) to finish things is hinged on feedback. My two longest fics that I wrote the fastest were because of audience engagement. And because I knew I had people I respected and liked reading, and I wanted them to enjoy the read, I wrote better.

Now I feel like I'm just stuck in No Man's Land of fandom, and while I have like a dozen things half finished, they never seem to actually BE finished because if the audience is me, then I know how it ends. There's not much point writing it down.

So this is basically my To Do List.

The Rookie - I just don't care about what 90% of the fandom cares about

1. Series of one shots that establish Angela and Tim's BFF status that may or may not lean Tim aspec because I'm me.

2. Pre series flashbacks to Tim in his time in service when he survives an airstrike that kills two of his friends and almost kills him.

3. Trauma Tim post season 6, because in rapid succession, he loses his job on metro, he witnesses his old team die in a way eerily similar to the way he was almost killed in the airstrike, had a friend commit suicide in front of him after confessing to being dirty, gets accused of being dirty himself, and is again almost killed in close quarter combat (among other things that will remain unmentioned here)

Slow Horses

1. Do not ask me why but I love the idea that Lamb potentially met River was he was a kid because he had to work closely with David Cartwright and River is always where he's not supposed to be

2. River goes missing, and for once, not his fault. Lamb has to come to terms that just because he pretends not to care, doesn't mean anyone buys it

3. Post season 4, somebody finds out that River is the last remaining son of Frank's assassin cult, and it goes about as well as can be expected. I fully intend to have Lamb use this line: "trying to detain you is like trying to nail jello to a tree".

Magnum PI (yes, I still work on these)

1. Finish Wrong Side. I actually have like another 10-15k words on it, but it's not in order or complete scenes, but it does include Thomas’s recovery and discovery that Hannah is the one who sold them out

2. I have like 6 other chapters to Bad Things Happen that I half wrote but then retired the card

3. Crossover with MacGyver because I thought Mac could use some down time in Hawaii after season 4 and the last half of season 3

Tracker 1. Colter goes missing during one of his cases, and I borrow heavily from an episode of Lethal Weapon wherein Colter will be held hostage in an illegal drug trial that he stumbled into and now finds himself an unwilling participant, and I drag Russell into it because that is how big brothers work

Hudson & Rex - honestly, I have the most written for this fandom, even though the fandom itself is pretty quiet, but it's most of a bingo card 1. Finish Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful because damn son it's been years

2. In no particular order, I have Bad Things Happen Bingo It's Not My Blood, Stitches, Caught in a Snare, Falls Through the Ice and three others that fit other prompts - a boating accident, Charlie finally finds himself at the bottom of a well (sort of) and completes his "Timmy and Lassie Scenario" bingo card, and where Charlie realizes he's developed claustrophobia after having a mine collapse on him, being locked in a freezer storage, almost crushed by a shipping container, buried alive, etc and gets stuck in an elevator with Jesse

[aethon-recs]

Tomarrymort Dead Dove Recs, Part 2 🕊️

Thank you all for the wonderful reception to Part 1 of Tomarrymort Dead Dove recs! I was honestly blown away by the interest in this first list featuring Non-Con/Dub-Con recs. It was so incredibly heartening to see that the open-mindedness towards the taboo, the degenerate, the ‘problematic’ is not only alive and well, but thriving, in this ship, when it seems like it’s been reviled and sanitized out of other ships and communities and spaces within this fandom and elsewhere. But Tomarrymort readers seem to be a special breed 🤝 and I’m just so glad we can all be horny sickos together 🤍

For Part 2 of the Dead Dove rec list, the first half is comprised of incest fics, and the second half is chan (underage) fics. These aren’t all necessarily dark fic in terms of tone or plot (some fics are actually quite cozy); the dead dove label just serves as an indicator to take the tags seriously.

Please note there is potentially triggering and disturbing content in the rec list below (including in some of the summaries), so I will be placing all 25 of these recs below the cut. Keep in mind don’t like; don’t read, so feel free to scroll on by if either incest and/or chan is not a theme you would like to explore.

This list was made in collaboration with @danpuff-ao3’s Dead Dove Diaries Series. Check it out for other HP dead dove recs!

*

Tomarrymort Incest Recs

Fruit of the Forbidden Tree (part 1) / Forbidden Indulgence (part 2) / Forbidden Darkness (part 3) by @neurowriter14 (E, 19k, complete)

The true parentage of Harry Potter was unknown to everyone except for three people. None remain, but another figures it out.

Hold Me Down (Fuck Me Up) by @itsevanffs (E, 15k, WIP)

Tom Riddle, chief of police, first met his nephew Harry Potter handcuffed to his desk, lip cut and knuckles bleeding, a proud smile on his lips and challenge in his eyes.

I Could Send You to Hell, I Know You by @dividawrites (E, 7k, complete)

Nothing about Harry Potter intrigues Tom—he's average in everything, doesn't act out in class, doesn't do very much at all, in fact. When he finds out they're related, though, this changes at once. After all, there's something to be said for family traditions.

In The Dark by @itsevanffs (E, 64k, WIP)

Harry's mother remarries shortly after his father's death to James' half-brother, Thomas, much to Harry's confusion and disgust. First a duke, now a king, it seems that nothing will stand in his uncle's way when it comes to getting what he wants. Not Lily, not propriety, and most certainly not Harry himself.

Infinite by @duplicitywrites (E, 8k, complete)

Harry and his twin brother Tom have the same mark. The same soulmate. Whoever their soulmate is, wherever they may be, they will go to Tom. Tom, however, has other plans.

Little Bits by @lordmarvoloriddle (E, 10k, complete) 

Inspired by Cinderella. Only there's no prince, and surely no one is singing about their feelings, and Harry's life could be a lot worse than having three step-brothers and a father who didn't like him. He's going to be proven right.

Plains of oblivion by @milkandmoon-ao3 (E, 3k, complete) 

Trapped in the past with no way home, a disillusioned Harry executes a plan to make an ally of the rising Dark Lord and reshape history.

Say It Right (part 1) /  Say You'll Haunt Me (part 2) by @rightonthelimitt (E, 32k, complete)

After James Potter dies, his wife and son have it rough. Their lives change for good when they meet Tom Riddle four years later, but is it for the better?

Seventeen Years by RenderedReversed (T, 10k, complete)

Voldemort is a day old when he realizes he’s been reborn to muggle parents and that he has a twin brother. He is a year old when it sinks in who his twin could possibly be. Because his twin might, possibly, probably be Harry Potter.

Summer Break by anon (E, 5k, WIP) 

A story of a brother's love and duty and terrible obsession.

the dark passenger by @cindle-writes (E, 5k, complete)

Harry had lived 17 years as a horcrux, and Ginny was possessed by another one, so is it all that surprising that their middle child reminds them a little bit too much of another boy they once knew?

*

Tomarrymort Chan (Underage) Recs

Below Stairs by pauraque (E, 1k, complete)

Harry receives a visitor.

conversationalist by worn (E, 3k, complete)

As a boy who's known silence and solitude well, Harry finds himself quickly growing attached to Tom Riddle's diary and the way it has so much to talk with him about.

Creatures of the Dark we are by @hikarimeroperiddle (M, 20k, WIP)

Banished to his cupboard at age 4, Harry learns to listen only to the Voice in his head. Its teachings wrap all around Harry until no more than dark magic and devotion remains, along with visions of a wraith with red eyes.

Everything Green Is Gold by @cindle-writes (E, 27k, complete)

Prior to Hogwarts, Harry had stayed mostly invisible to the teachers and adults around him his whole life. But Tom Riddle, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, looked at Harry like he was something to be wanted.

File A by @kushimanii (E, 7k, complete)

In a different universe, one where the prophecy was never heard and Voldemort won, Voldemort finds eight-year-old Harry Potter in the basement of Fenrir Greyback and takes him in.

he whistles and he runs by @wolfantlersinspace (E, 5k, complete)

"Tom," Harry murmured, ducking under a branch and nearly touching the top of Tom's diary with his lips, "I really don’t like this."

Hearthstone Abbey by @ramabear (E, 92k, WIP)

Harry follows Thomas Gaunt into his world much like he stepped onto Diagon Alley that first time, wide-eyed and full of wonder. He has no idea what exactly this world has in store for him, but he knows that with Thomas at his side, he is safe and happy for the first time in his whole life. 

Make a Wish by @crowcrowcrowthing (E, 3k, complete)

Tom Riddle is wasting away in his hospital bed, far too young to succumb to such a terrible and mysterious illness. The only thing that gives him solace is the hope that football star Harry Potter might visit him in his final days.

Quam singulari by anon (E, 6k, complete)

Spermarche: the beginning of a boy's development of sperm; normally signifies a boy's beginning in sexual maturity and puberty.

shelter from the storm by @cindle-writes & @duplicitywrites (E, 7k, complete)

After being left behind by the Dursleys, Harry stumbles upon an empty shack in the middle of nowhere, where he finds a mysterious ring underneath the loose floorboards.

study session by @ilya-zzz (E, 3k, complete)

"Tom–" Harry tries, coughing a couple times before lifting his hands to his head, softly rubbing his temples a couple times. "...I think you should go back to your common room."

The Abyss by AislingSiobhan (E, 36k, complete)

Nietzsche was right: when fighting monsters, Harry should have been more careful not to become one himself. That didn’t matter anymore. It was too late to save himself, yet he could still save the world from Voldemort. But who would save Voldemort from him?

the eternal flame by @duplicitywrites (E, 25k, WIP)

There’s a well-dressed older man who enters the orphanage asking after Tom Riddle. The man’s green eyes fix on Tom’s face, searching and searching. “My name is Harry Gaunt,” the man says, the tenor of his voice soft and faltering, a reflection of Tom's deepest, most secret anxieties, “and I’m here to adopt you.”

This Is Why You Don't Summon Demons, Harry by @kushimanii (E, 59k, complete)

Harry Potter is seven when he's left at the nearby church by Petunia to get an exorcism. Instead, he ends up summoning a demon that he makes a deal with. The demon, Voldemort, will protect him, and in return, the demon will devour his soul when it is ripe.

Without A Chance by Harryfan80 (E, 20k, complete)

When Voldemort (as Quirrell) meets Harry in her first year at Hogwarts, he exploits her naivete and uses her to acquire the Sorcerer's Stone.

*

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Loved and Unloved

Considering the large amount of content of unsymp patton that exists in comparison to any other side currently (most often depicting him as an anti-lgbtq+ Christian dad with control issues), feels like some real meaty angst potential to explore for Patton. He has been way more open to change and hiding when he isn’t doing okay, so maybe he tries actively stripping the aspects of himself these extreme characterizations originate from only for it to go wrong? Maybe Virgil’s snappiness as of the last few episodes or Roman’s unease ends up fueling it in someway? No pressure if you don't wanna write Patton angst, just thought the concept was interesting. – ax3-e0ns

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-doubt, self-esteem issues

Pairings: none!

Word Count: 3172

Everybody has to be open to change, so it's not fair of him to be so upset by it. He just needs to get over himself first.

Everybody has to be open to change, so it's not fair of him to be so upset by it.

Come on, he'd be the most unreasonable person in the world if he constantly talked about how good it was to keep an open mind, try new things, and then shirked away from actually doing any of the hard work that came with that, wouldn't he? It wouldn't be right! So no, Patton isn't going to pretend that he's the exception to his rules, not like this, so he's going to change. That's how things work, that's how things need to be done.

He just…needs to get over himself first.

Figuring out just how badly he'd been messing everything up—well, okay, no, he's going to go back a little bit first.

The wedding had been hard on everybody, which was something he'd never expected. It had been such an honor to be asked to be there by Lee and Mary Lee, and then to have everything crash and burn the way it did…it had been so disappointing. Not just because Thomas had clearly been so miserable, but because it wasn't ever supposed to be like that. Weddings were supposed to be joyous affairs, all about celebrating two people deciding to tie their lives together, and how could they be there and be so upset about it? Patton hadn't wanted to admit it when Roman first passed the sentence, but ever since Deceit—Janus had pointed out how rough it would be on poor Thomas if he was there—or rather, since he'd given up the chance for a callback to be there, it was…difficult.

Then there's the whole matter of Patton himself. He's not sure when he really noticed how much he was causing all the problems, but once he did, it was sort of impossible not to notice anymore.

Maybe it was in that first meeting where they introduced Janus, back when he'd taken Patton's face and used it to coerce Roman into helping him with his schemes. Maybe it was when Roman passed the sentence and everyone looked at Patton like he was the one who did that too. Or maybe it was when Remus showed up and Logan told everyone that it was Virgil's fault and Patton's fault that Thomas had slept so badly last night.

Whenever it was, it made it clear that Patton…wasn't doing the best he could do when it came to actually being there for everybody else. And that was bad, because Patton was supposed to be there for everyone! Not just because he was at the center of a lot of Thomas's feelings, not just because he was Morality, but because those are his kiddos. Those are the people he cares about the most in the entire world, and if he can't even be there for them in the way that he should be, how could he pretend to be there for everyone else?

So, he could change. He had to change. He needed to change. And the best way to do that was to figure out what parts of himself were bad and needed to go.

As always, the fans were…helpful? Maybe? Is that the right word? He remembers hearing Logan and Roman talking about how fan communities were interesting beasts—he's pretty sure those were Roman's words, not Logan's—especially when it came to interpreting characters. There were always going to be those that acted in bad faith and just saw the parts that they wanted to see, and there were always going to be those that just decided to die on the hill of their favorites and act as though they'd never done anything wrong, ever. But the vast majority of the fanbase would react similarly to the big events of the series, and so he figured that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to just…see how they were reacting to him lately.

It was an eye-opening experience.

There were a lot of theories going around as to why he'd been so…problematic in the series lately. Everything from him being responsible for Thomas's internalized homophobia to the Split to truly, truly horrible things that he knows are just meant to be alternate universes so the writers can experiment with what they want but to think that there's a part of him that they saw to make the ideas happen…

He'd never been more grateful that the Imagination covers up lies so Janus wouldn't know the truth as to why Thomas was so upset that night, and he'd never been more ashamed of himself for being so cowardly as to run there.

He'd tried to convince himself that it was just that small minority, like Logan and Roman had said, but the thing was…it wasn't. Not really. The amount of content like that for him versus the amount for everybody else was staggering. Even if it was just as small as making him the one that needed to change his mind so everyone could get their happy ending, it was—well, it started to weigh on him. More and more and more with each time he had a look at what the fans were doing, and after a while, well…

Maybe Logan was onto something when he said it was Patton's fault Remus had managed to worm his way so close to Thomas so quickly. He knows, somewhere, that chastising himself for having such a strong reaction to that sort of content isn't going to be productive—quite the opposite, in fact—but he can't stop. What sort of horrible person reacts so badly to being told they need to change?

Well. That's enough of that. He needs to change, so he's going to.

For everyone else's sake.

"Hey, Logan?"

Logan looks up from his notebook to see Virgil and Roman standing in front of him. "Yes?"

"Have you noticed something's up with Patton?"

He frowns. "Not particularly. Is there something the matter?"

Roman sighs, sitting down on the couch. "That's the thing. He won't talk to us—he won't even be in the same room alone with us if he can help it, and I don't know if we did something wrong that he's not telling us about or if there's something going on with him that he's trying to keep a secret."

Logan sighs, closing his notebook and tossing it onto the coffee table to steeple his fingers together. "Well, when did we first notice it?"

"Uh, a couple weeks ago?" Virgil scratches the back of his head. "I tried to ask him how he was doing—you know, since Thomas had that one late night where all of us were really on edge for some reason, just because we didn't really see much of him and then he wasn't talking to us."

"That's right," Roman adds, "and then he wouldn't—he wasn't—I tried to ask him what was going on and he just smiled at me and thanked me for asking."

"Wait, he didn't answer?"

"No! Not really."

"That is bizarre." Logan drums his fingers on his leg. "And we're certain there isn't something obvious we're overlooking? There's not a deadline coming up—well, no, I know for a fact there isn't, not where Thomas is concerned, nor are we near the anniversary of something happening that would make him upset."

"I don't think we did anything either. We've not really had any big fights or blowouts since…" Virgil trails off and he doesn't need to finish the sentence. "And I'm pretty sure it's not really related to that."

"How have we determined that?"

"Well, it's not really how Patton likes to deal with things. He's all about talking things through, remember? Especially when it comes to stuff that doesn't have to do with Thomas." He shudders. "There's only so much reassuring bonding time I can take before I really start to lose my shit."

If they all glance around, half-expecting and half-hoping for Patton to pop out with his signature 'language,' then that's for them to know and them alone.

"I don't know what to do," Roman confesses quietly, "he's been so distant, it's hard to talk to him about anything that isn't food or what we're doing later today."

"I can see if—" Logan doesn't get to finish what he was saying when Remus suddenly appears over the couch and falls squarely on top of Roman— "Remus!"

"Ack! Get off me!"

Remus plants a big, wet kiss on Roman's squawking forehead and rolls onto the coffee table, legs kicked up behind him and hands under his chin. "What're we gossiping about?"

"We aren't gossiping, Remus, we're just talking."

"You're talking about one of us, so spill! I want all the teeth!"

Virgil rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "The expression is 'tea,' Remus, not 'teeth.'"

"But tea is boring. Janny drinks it and acts like he's the most pretentious snake-bastard on the planet. I was the teeth, that sounds much more fun."

"I don't have any teeth to give you," Roman grumbles, "and even if I did, I wouldn't, because that hurt."

"Aww, is Roro getting soft?"

"I'll show you soft—"

"Boys," Janus announces, striding from the shadows as though he's been there the whole time, "let's keep the roughhousing to a minimum for today, shall we? I'm not in the mood to tiptoe around shards of glass right now."

Remus cackles, Roman grumbles, and Virgil tilts his head back as though asking the heavens to give him patience.

"Janus," Logan greets, "have you noticed anything strange about Patton's behavior recently?"

"If by 'strange,' you mean 'worrying patterns that speak to an imminent mental breakdown,' then yes, Logan, I've noticed a few strange things."

That gets everyone to stare at him quite quickly. He raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, come on, certainly you've noticed it as well?"

"We have, that's why we were talking about it before someone decided to appear right on top of Roman."

"I didn't appear right on top of Roro, I appeared above him so I could fall on top of him!"

"Semantics." Logan waves his hand. "Janus, continue."

Janus sighs, glancing around, before beginning to fiddle with the ends of his gloves. "I don't know what started it, but I do know that Patton's been…having a rough time recently. He's been acting as though we're about to pull the rug out from under him the moment he commits some sort of grave offense."

"But why? What did we do?"

"I don't know. That's the part I haven't figured out yet."

"It started that one night—"

"Where he was in the Imagination, yes, I know."

Remus sits up, a look of actual sobriety flickering through the common mania. "Pat-Pat was in the Imagination that night? What was he doing?"

"If I knew, don't you think I would tell you?"

"No."

"Probably not."

"Doesn't really seem that likely."

Janus holds a hand to his chest, the perfect image of a scandalized maiden until Virgil smacks his arm. "Rude."

"So—we think Patton maybe saw something in the Imagination that threw him off? Why wouldn't he tell us, then?"

"He wouldn't be able to get into Remus's side through those big common doors in the hallway, and it's not like he would know if he—"

"Yeah, I'd be able to tell."

"—right, but I don't know what it could be on my side that would make him so upset."

"Maybe we're thinking about this wrong," Logan says suddenly, "maybe Patton being in the Imagination isn't the cause, but the consequence."

"What, you think something happened that made him go into the Imagination?"

"It's possible."

"Like what? What does the Imagination do that would've made it the place he'd go? The rest of us need Princey or Remus to make anything happen in there that isn't, like, summoning a bowl of Butterfingers."

"Maybe he just really wanted some Butterfingers?"

"Nah."

"Lies," Janus says softly.

"Huh?"

"The Imagination covers up lies. It's all lies, really, which means that—"

"That you can't hear what's going on in there," Roman finishes, his eyes widening, "so if Patton went in there on that night, then…"

He doesn't get a chance to finish that thought, because he spots Patton standing at the top of the stairs, his eyes wide and his mouth trembling.

"Wait, Padre, we didn't—"

Patton turns around and bolts.

"Patton," Logan coaxes gently from the other side of the door, "Patton, please, come and talk to us."

Patton shakes his head, even though he knows Logan can't see it, burying himself deeper into the blankets. This has all gone wrong. Everything is wrong. He has no idea when they started realizing how awful he is, but the last thing he wants to do right now is give them any excuse to confirm their suspicions.

"It's getting worse," he hears Janus murmur, "the lies are—they're getting really bad."

"Patton, please." Logan's getting desperate, he can hear it. "Please, just—just let us explain? We're not here to hurt you, we aren't mad, we're just worried, please."

He can't. He can't because as soon as he tells them what's going on, as soon as they make him tell them what's going on, he knows they'll be angry so quickly it'll be like they've always been angry at him. And he can't have them be angry, not right now, not while he's so weak that just the thought of having to be in the same room as them while they're angry with him is enough to make him muffle a sob into his pillows.

He thought he'd been doing well. He hasn't been overhearing, he hasn't bothered Roman about his work or personal projects in ages, he hasn't tried to walk all over Virgil and force him out of his comfort zone, he hasn't even distracted Logan from the important things that he's doing. He'd thought—he thought he was doing better. He thought he was changing in a way that made sense, that was better. He thought—he thought—

It doesn't matter what he thought.

He can hear the voices from behind the door. He doesn't want to try and listen in to hear what they're saying. He doesn't want to hear about how they're trying to figure out—he doesn't even want to think about it. He wants to push all this down and have it never have happened so he can just go out there and figure out what he needs to do to make himself better.

Then there's a very soft pop of someone appearing in his room and he has no idea how that's possible.

"Perks of the job," Remus says quietly, the bed dipping as he sits on the edge, "Intrusive Thoughts and all that. Means I can go places that the others can't sometimes."

Patton goes still. Well, he tries to go still. What he really does is lie there with the hitching sobs making him tremble every few seconds until he can feel the whole mattress shake with how quiet he's trying to be.

"Oh, Pat-Pat," he hears Remus mumble before a hand pats around the top of the blankets to find his head, "what happened?"

"S-sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's okay. We just want to help."

Patton shakes his head, trying to burrow deeper, but that just lets Remus know exactly where his head is, which means that he gets about two seconds of warning before his blanket huddle is being moved apart piece by piece, layer by layer, until Remus is lifting up the last one and peering inside.

"Hey," he says, voice remarkably soft, "what's going on, Pat-Pat?"

He swallows painfully. Why is his throat so sore?

"You don't have to worry about being coherent or anything like that," Remus says when he doesn't say anything for a long moment, "just…get it out. I'll listen."

And just like that, out it comes. The whole messy, unforgiving story. Remus doesn't say a thing, not until Patton's sobbing and pleading for a forgiveness he's not sure he deserves, not until the door starts to bang again with how many lies Janus can hear and how Remus was supposed to make it better, not worse, and then Remus is saying his name softly and tenderly and there are hands cupping his cheeks and—

"C'mere," Remus whispers, hauling him up out of the blankets and into his arms, "there, here, here we go…it's okay, Pat-Pat, it's gonna be okay. You're okay. You're gonna be okay. You don't have to worry about any of that anymore, you're gonna be just fine."

"Remus—Re, can we come in? Please? I think Virgil's about to break the door down."

"Get in here."

The rest of them pour in, something Patton only registers because there are suddenly more arms around him, more voices murmuring soft things, more hands rearranging blankets and pillows until he's sobbing into Remus out of more than just fear.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, Padre." That's Roman carding his hand through his hair. "We're right here. We aren't going anywhere."

"Just relax." That's Logan, making him lean back so he can breathe a little easier. "Just try and rest, we won't leave—we can figure everything out later, alright?"

"No more lies," Janus whispers as he settles a pillow to Patton's left, "you need to let us help you, sweetie. We're here for you, you have to let us be."

"Alright, all of you shut the fuck up." Virgil, that's his wonderful Virgil. "We're not gonna overwhelm him any more than we already have. So let him cry this out and sleep a little and you all can fight for who gets to cuddle him first."

This…this no one else gets to see. No one gets to see how happily they all squeeze onto Patton's too-small bed that the twins make bigger so everyone can get comfortable. No one gets to see how tenderly Remus wipes the tears and spit from Patton's chin as Roman takes his glasses and puts them carefully on the nightstand. No one gets to see Virgil, Janus, and Logan adjusting blankets and pillows until Patton's so dazed with sleep that it's a struggle to keep his eyes open.

And he thinks that maybe…maybe this part doesn't have to change. Maybe he's not beyond forgiveness after all.

Maybe he's forgotten that his kiddos love him as fiercely as he loves them.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Action Comics #1072: I am enjoying following the path of both of these stories, but I'm getting the vibes that I need some things to start happening soon, rather than stacking up more mystery boxes.

Still delighted by Kenan and Kon's antics though. The decision to team them up continues to pay off.

Detective Comics #1090: look, have we seen the premise of Thomas helping characters he probably shouldn't have, as a doctor, and that leading to disaster down the track before? Yes. Am I going to enjoy the parallels again anyway? Also yes. Get Leslie into this plot, Tom Taylor, for some support for Thomas' tendencies.

Nightwing #119: My first thought here is how nice it is to see a run that's picking up smoothly from the last one and where the writer is fully indoctrinated on Dick/Babs flirting from the Dixon days. It's got potential and so far I don't mind the characterisation.

Absolute Wonder Woman #1: I think this is probably going to end up my favourite title from the Absolute line. The art was beautiful and full of character, and I really loved the characterisation of Circe in this, and how she moves from indifferent to a mother. "How you fall in love with a child is by raising it." gaaaaaaah I had those words still ringing in my head last night as I was supervising bathtime and teeth brushing.

Green Arrow #17: and we finally get this book handed off from Joshua Williamson. First half was more tidying up of the Absolute Power mess (without much real resolution, but we all need to move on from that plot), but the new run with Chris Condon looks like it has some promise. I'm happy to go with it for the second.

The Flash #14: Skartaris time! I still need to actually get to the point where I understand what the current timeline of Skartaris is from Flashpoint onwards, because my personal understanding is that Travis should be DEAD DEAD DEAD but yet he's still around. I suspect this is because nobody at DC actually cares about Warlord lore enough to make this a problem, aside from Mike Grell, who at this point is in 'sure, that art proposal sounds fun to draw' life stages.

Anyway, the concept of the Wests all going to Skartaris for some family bonding time is hysterical (by both definitions) and I eagerly await to see how Spurrier handles adapting it for an audience who isn't already used to Skartaris oddities. The fact we have floating Ancient Atlantean buildings in the art is a very promising sign to me, though.

Zatanna: Bring Down The House #5: This was a good conclusion to the story. It's been very much Black Label levels of existing in its own continuity, and I respect how it was put together. I do wonder how much of Tamaki's insistence on how she characterised and centred rabbits in the run is influenced by and in opposition to that classic picture of Giovanni Zatara from The Books of Magic #3 with the dead rabbit.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #18:

I really liked the art in Doubt. It was quite effective.

The Constantine and Streaky team up remained completely unnecessary but oh well, not written for me.

Reflections was an interesting team up! I wouldn't have put M'gann and Jackson together (actually I just realised this was probably influenced by YJA, carry on), but they do both have interesting placement in their narratives of Xebel v Atlantis and White v Green Martian. Wish the story had leant a bit more into that outsider narrative from the villain to try and convince them.

Why do we have a random Harley Quinn story from nowhere in the continuity? anyway.

Robin Season is uh not particularly good Tim and Damian characterisation (in that the one-upmanship competition doesn't really feel how the two of them compete?) but it's full of interesting background detailing for indications of setting.

The Warlord #73: This week for our second trip to Lost World of Skartaris, we're starting out strong as Travis is still trapped in the bondage tree from last week.

Terrible bondage peril! Over a fire!

Only to be further attacked by flying dinosaurs of some description!

Thanks for the art, Dan Jurgens.

We spend 6 pages of this comic with Travis trying to escape from the tree vines clinging to him, while also fighting the dinosaurs. We have never been more back.

In terms of the plot that doesn't involve tying Travis up in perilous situations, we're still tracking down the plague unicorn. The unicorn dies in a swamp, the gang figure out that Scarheart, our non-Skataran speaking friend from another dimension probably drank magical healing water from a pool which is why he doesn't have Unicorn Plague, and they go off to get some to heal everyone who's sick. Shakira gets better and falls immediately for Scarheart. They decide to hang out with the group of travellers who speak to animals and leave the main story group for a bit.

Also Travis uses up all his bullets, yet again. I must assume he just has a supplier in Skartaris by now who's worked out how to make ammunition.

[screamting]

Do you have any examples in mind for the Alfred as Bruce's handler idea? What would be the sort of thing that's weird? Because keeping him up-to-date on politics and taking care of his diet, or even talking him down from fear gas attacks doesn't seem that weird to me. Especially with how their lives are going. What specifically are you thinking of? This is such an interesting take, would love to hear more about this

"With how their lives are going" is sort of the point. A butler is a household manager, so like yes, there's some overlap with controlling and organizing lots of people-- but like, not their boss? In a smaller household butlers might do things like take on valet and housekeeping duties, which is probably what happened after the household downsized after Martha and Thomas died. That's also probably when he went from Mr Pennyworth to Alfred.

And people know it's a weird situation. Like. Okay. So the one potential relative the Waynes may have had (Jacob Kane) is too young to take Bruce in, or Martha and Thomas just fuckin hate their other living relatives and specifically write that if anything happens to us Bruce goes to Alfred, or Bruce goes to a relative for like 2 months and it Does Not Work and either Bruce or Alfred bribe a judge to make Alfred his guardian. Lots of options, all of them A Weird Situation Everybody Knows About.

I think partly because of trying to maintain normalcy in Bruce's life (and because of his own emotional issues) Alfred does hold onto the butler/valet thing maybe a little harder than might have been ideal, but if he dresses Bruce he's just lying clothes out for him on the bed or helping him get dressed up for important events. There's no point for Alfred to drive him around-- by all rights Alfred should have his own driver-- and they should have a cook and housemaid and maybe they have Dory like in the batman 2022, but it's still a weird thing to be, essentially, raised by the staff.

(I think maybe that's a separate point but I do think it should play more into the conception of Brucie as a person. He's not just comfortably empty headed and kind to 'the help' because he's stupid and never had parents to teach him how a rich man ought to behave. He's that way because he was raised by the help. Not even in the normal way where you pay/kidnap a nanny to raise your kids instead of her own. Just straight up the butler and the housekeeper and the family physician. [Bruce knows Leslie's a surgeon but his association is still like, 'ah, yes, my pediatrician who showed up to all my birthdays whether I wanted one or not.'])

The thing is that when this is happening as Bruce is a kid, it's weird, but like, it's normal too. They get a closer relationship than child and butler usually do. It's normal for a younger kid to not control his meals too much but once he's an older teen he makes requests for dinner and it happens. He starts growing independent and comes to Alfred less for advice, sometimes making him worry, but he's becoming an adult and soon he won't need Alfred at all!

...and then Bruce runs off with a few hundred thousand dollars in cash and vanishes for years without a word.

When he comes back he's got this absolutely deranged idea in his head about going out and violently making the city a place people are afraid to commit crimes. Sure petty theft and carjacking, but no: he's going to make mafiosos afraid. He's going to very specifically make them feel unsafe in their own homes. He's going to terrorize every crooked cop and politician until quitting and struggling for the rest of their lives sounds like a better option than continuing to take an extra 10k home a month.

....so anyway, Alfred unfortunately loves this kid too much to throw him into Arkham, and it seems like he'd be pretty hard to wrestle now after going through all that assassin training.

So early Alfred takes on what eventually sort of gets outsourced to Oracle, because even if he hasn't been around it since Martha and Thomas were alive he remembers more about upper crust society behavior and Bruce needs to nail it down. So it's not just "here's the summary of the daily newspaper master bruce" it's "this is Julia Danvers she's the only heiress to an oil field fortune and has an allergy to shellfish. She's sort of into environmentalism but isn't really thinking it through and any real complicated solutions that would cause damage to the business make her feel like the end of her family line, which of course ends with a woman and they're going to blame her for being a woman and ruining the business for everyone else. So when you talk to her, here is what I think you should do..."

Bruce doesn't pick his meals anymore because he barely eats so Alfred makes a protein shake with so many other added nutrients that you do have to ease yourself onto them unless you want to absolutely annihilate your gut and suffer in the bathroom for three days. Of course, Bruce never had to think about this, because Alfred did the easing on himself by varying the inputs over the course of a month gradually with the rest of his meals that were easy digestables.

Talking down from fear gas isn't something they plan for but it is something that like: Bruce is seeing a monster. It is telling him the terrible things it will do.

It is using Alfred's voice, so Bruce has to believe there's a good reason for it to do those things, and gives himself over to it.

It's not just that Alfred puts aside what he'd carefully raised and hoped for to ruthlessly try and keep alive what he has. It's that Bruce knows he's being handled, and allows it.

[rinskazuu]

genshin men as songs in my playlist

aether, albebo, al-haitham, itto, cyno, diluc, kazuha, kaeya, ayato, heizou, childe, thoma, tighnari, scaramouche, xiao, and zhongli

these are written romantically, but if you want to view them as platonic, you can try.

cw: angst w no comfort, fluff, varies depending on character and song i chose. some of these are written in first person, some in x reader form, you can view them however you like!

a/n: initially, i was going for songs fitting their personality, but i accidentally made kaeya and childe's angsty, so i remade them. also, this took so long, for absolutely no reason.

AETHER- hold on by flor

throughout the journey aether's been on in teyvat, all he does is help nations, people, archons, you name it. but i want to be his escape, someone he can hold and be comfortable with. for a moment, i want him to worry less about what's going on outside, and just close his eyes. he's so selfless, and i believe he deserves the same treatment in return.

♡

ALBEDO- something about you by eyedress

you’re just so mesmerizing and beautiful to albedo, that he can’t help but feel subjected to paint you. you’re always catching his breath, from the way your eyes glint when you’re talking about your interests, to the way your body sways when he accidentally catches you dancing in your room, while he’d been busy with his experiments. he just cannot keep his eyes off you.

♡

AL-HAITHAM- out of time by the weeknd

al-haitham would most definitely let his pride get in the way of your relationship. he’d also prioritize his dying love for knowledge over you. the moment you leave him, and he finds his closet half empty, he’s drowning in guilt. he’s reaching for you, but you’ve moved on, and now it’s too late for him to hold you again.

♡

ARATAKI ITTO- always forever by cults

itto is the type of man to boast about you to everyone, having never said anything negative about you. he’s the type of man to snuggle you, and tell you every night how grateful he is, and how happy you make him. he’s going to tell you, that from here on out, you’re stuck with him, and that you’re two peas in a pod.

♡

CYNO- the one that got away by katy perry

cyno isn’t as much of a tsundere as the fandom writes him out to be, so this doesn’t sound fitting. but i feel like his role as the general mahamatra would definitely play a bad part in your relationship. he’d be too busy to take you on a date, or too tired to accompany you to an event. it’s not until you’ve left, that he’s realized he’s neglected you for too long.

♡

DILUC- be kind by halsey

with diluc, i imagine wanting to take his burdens off his shoulders, and comfort him, reassure him. i want him to rely on me, and be comfortable enough to come to me to talk. it makes me sad, how isolated he is, or rather, how he felt the need to isolate himself.

♡

KAEDAHARA KAZUHA- old love by yuji & putri dahlia

not only does the melody suit kazuha, but so do the lyrics. there's not a lot that kazuha holds dear, simply because he wanders a lot. he moves from place to place, and you're one of the only stable aspects of his life. he will always return home, to see you.

♡

KAEYA- midnight rain by taylor swift

i feel like kaeya would suit taylor’s perspective in the song. you wanting to settle down, but kaeya can’t love you for too long, because he's holding a major secret that is threatening yours and potentially teyvat's safety. you’re the sunshine, and he’s the midnight rain. he’ll have to leave you soon, but for now, he’ll let you hold him.

♡

KAMISATO AYATO- still with you by jungkook

ayato is not only head of the kamisato clan, but he’s a commissioner too. he’s used to running things mostly by himself, because he had to take care of his little sister alone, and rebuild the kamisato clan from the floor. he’s often isolated, completing work, but at the end of each day, i want to remind him, that we are in fact together, and any challenges he faces, are mine to struggle with too.

♡

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU- enchanted by taylor swift

heizou is a man who can easily sweep you off your feet, with his charm, pretty smile, and his skills as a detective. he can read your feelings and the type of person you are. he knows exactly what to do to reel you in. your love is enchanting, so unique, and will last for an entire lifetime, if not more.

♡

TARTAGLIA- save your tears by the weeknd & ariana grande

i know we kind of ignore how unhinged childe is, but i want to acknowledge it. he doesn’t know how to love or be loved, which leads to him not knowing how to comfort you. he’s going to hurt you, mentally/verbally, often. he’s going to tell you to stop crying, instead of holding you, or call you dramatic, instead of snuggling you in bed and encouraging you.

♡

THOMA- i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys

thoma is often busy, since he works for a commissioner, and one of the most well known and respected clans in inazuma. he sees you a lot, whether it's running errands, or accompanying one of the kamisatos somewhere. he's in love with you, and he'd do anything for you. but for now, he needs to focus on his duties.

♡

TIGHNARI- sweet by cigarettes after sex

even though he's a busy man, tighnari still makes plenty of time for you. he's sweet and smooth with his swords, easily swaying you. he makes it known, to not just you, that he loves you to the ends of the world. he knows how to make you swoon, from taking days off to pick flowers for you, to having deep talks with you in the shower. he's always thinking about you, even picturing your smile while he's off gathering gifts for you.

♡

WANDERER- space song by beach house

after regaining his memories, and even after his redemption arc, scara will still have major trust issues. wanting to there for him isn't a crime. but because of his trauma, he's going to keep pulling away from you, and pushing you farther from him. no matter, you're not going to give up, and you want him to feel loved and comforted.

♡

XIAO- be there for you by nct dream

xiao is one of the most obvious characters with a traumatic backstory, and i believe i want to be there for him the most. it's not going to be easy, since he's lived 1000+ years. he's used to being on his own, and all he knows is how to protect, and kill. but for once, i want him to rely on me, and for him to breathe a sigh of relief.

♡

ZHONGLI- wildest dreams by taylor swift

as an archon, zhongli has been alive for over 6000 years. even though he's given up the title, and is now living a normal life, he will always remain an immortal. eventually, you will pass on, and zhongli will be alone again. regardless, he's going to spend every waking moment with you, until your very last breath. he will cherish your love for the rest of eternity, even if you're not physically there.

i do want to add, i have so many taylor swift, the weeknd & chase atlantic songs, but didn’t think the last 2 would be as fitting as taylor’s. i have 150 songs & this does not define my entire playlist, there are so many genres. i just happened to make them romantic/angsty..

[amysgiantbees]

Dead Boy Detectives Cat King Spoilers

I ADORE the Cat King and I'm really fascinated by him and I just love how detailed everything about him is.

A few thoughts on him...

I love that he's living at Empire fish company to harken to his royal status.

I adore the head-cannon that he's Desire's child. With his golden eyes that remain no matter his form. Desire's actor even tweeted about it!

He asked which boy put the spell on his cat. Also, the cat's comment in the murder house ep that "the Cat king won't like this" and the implied rest of that sentence I feel is "when he finds out, when we report back." But at the end of the Dragons ep we can see the cat's eyes glow, implying he's magically looking through them. I know I'm assuming a lot but he seems to let the cats do their thing most of the time and report to him if they feel like it. It might even be a two way thing where they allow him to look through their eyes, he can't force it. I just think it's interesting what powers he has. Also it's interesting how his relationship with the cats work. Knowing cats, they have to want to report back. They don't just do it out of obligation. So, I'd like to think he's a pretty decent ruler. Or even my head-cannon that he doesn't really rule them more protects and acts as their go between, between themselves and other creatures.

His powers so far: Personal resurrection. Teleportation (but maybe just to pocket dimensions). Shapeshifting. Binding spells or just magic in general much like Edwin can practice magic from books. All very indirect kinds of magic which really suit his trickster spirit vibes.

I love that his loneliness is tied in to almost every interaction he has with Edwin. From insisting that he likes to keep things consensual then putting a spell that forces them to be closer. To watching out for/stalking Edwin with his cats. To forcing him to tell the truth but only a little bit in a kind of desperate attempt to get Edwin to see he cares about him and embraces him for who he is. Edwin calling him lonely really doesn't come from nowhere to humanize him which I love. It's great that even the minor character's motivations are well thought through in the show.

I feel like he took to Edwin so quick possibly just out of pure desire. But also people love to say animals are great judges of character, especially cats, they're discerning. So I love the idea that even if Thomas was repressing the fact that he is lonely a part of him knew it and recognized that loneliness in Edwin. As well as what his actor's mentioned in interviews that Thomas is so free and has so few inhibitions and thus just enjoys messing with stuffy old Edwin so much.

Me enjoying Thomas' moral greyness does not mean I'm condoning his behaivour. But it certainly doesn't bother me for multiple reasons. Firstly, his actor is SO charismatic. It really does make a difference that he's just SO fun to watch. Also, not that I've never been harassed by a queer guy before, but him being not straight does help beat the creep vibes in my mind. Also, the way that he will push a boundary but say or do something that softens what he's done helps. Like ranting and raving in the woods that Edwin will regret this but instead continuing to try to protect him from Esther. I think he clearly cares enough about Edwin that if Edwin was REALLY that uninterested in him and uncomfortable he would of just have given him a different punishment. Also, it's a fair punishment. He binds Edwin just like Edwin bound that cat. He's an ambiguous trickster fantasy creature, I'm willing to let a lot slide due to the fact that he clearly has an important role in the story and people's lives as a disrupting and mischievous influence.

I also am not particularly bothered by any potential creepiness from the Cat King as the way in interviews everyone talks about him is that he had a very specific role to play. He was made to be Edwin's sexual awakening. Yes he could have just been a guy that like always seems to be obliviously shirtless going on runs or something like that and it would have been less problematic. But, for one, I'm sure Edwin's seen that before and just looks away when it happens. Two, Edwin is SO repressed I think it makes a lot of narrative sense that he needs someone SO pushy and desperate in return to wake him up. And also he then contrasts against the purity and sweetness of Edwin's love for Charles. I don't see this as condoning this behaivour because real people aren't deeply repressed Edwardian ghosts that couldn't access therapy even if they wanted to on account of being dead.

Furthermore, as I'm sure many people have seen in recent popular discourses media does not need to be morally pure. I don't think that should be a get out of jail free card though. Or that creatives should be allowed to make whatever offensive shit they want and then say but "it's art" or "it's satire". Context matters. It's important how you frame something. And sure the Cat King is not punished for his bad behaivour but he is framed in such a way that I feel like he is not supported for it either. He doesn't get "rewarded" with Edwin in the end. He's not even guaranteed to have his company in even a platonic way since they're heading back to London and he, presumably, has to stay in his kingdom (he calls himself A cat king so I'm assuming there's others elsewhere so he probably can't go to London and intrude on another's territory. Or maybe he's A cat king in that there's just one at a time but there's a history of them).

Also, I've seen some people be uncomfortable at the age gap between Edwin and the Cat King, but to quote one of my favourite YouTubers Kennie J.D. "They're brooding hot 25 year old teenagers". They're both actors in their 20's. They could both theoretically be playing immortals frozen in their teens. I get that Thomas looks older but none of them look like teens. Edwin's actor has a 5 o'clock shadow. The most info we get about Thomas' age that he's meant to be appearing as is that he says "he's not a daddy type" according to him. Admittedly his actor says that when he was imagining a backstory for him part it was that he thought he and Esther were ex's. So that does lend to the idea of him being frozen as an adult. So I'd definitely say it's a grey area. But also people arguing it's not weird because they're all kind of ageless anyway, I do disagree with. As a TikToker, Babbity Kate, I like pointed out just because Edward is over 100 years old doesn't mean Bella dating him isn't less weird than her dating Carlisle. There's a difference, it matter's a person's maturity.

I just hope we get a Season 2 and the Cat King sticks around for it. Hope Edwin misses him XD

Other people with great takes on him: https://www.tumblr.com/weareinastormoffuck/749853517024559104?source=share

[joannerowling]

funny that she would say "Tell me something about Dean. You can't, can you? He had no backstory," when Dean gets the most characterization out of all the Gryffindors (minus the trio + Neville). we don't know much about Seamus, besides that he loves Quidditch, that he isn't brilliant at school, that his mom is annoying and that he seems to like confrontation. that's very basic info. we don't know much about Parvati and Lavender besides that they are pretty girly, love divination, are interested in boys (and that Lavender had a bunny). i don't think we know much about both of them individually either (but that's okay because they are kind of like a codependent female duo, every school has those). but DEAN? he loves football, he is a good drawer, he is good at quidditch, but he is also a fierce fighter and has no hesitation standing up to people like Umbridge when she insults Lupin. like, come on, there is a reason why ginny choses to date him and there's a reason why Harry hates him so much -- Dean is the archetype of the nice, popular boy made up in a lab for Harry to be jealous about! he is the Gryffindor version of Cedric, in that sense. "We don't know much about Dean" he literally gets more "screentime" than every other Gryffindor (minus the trio + Neville). Dean was in the Malfoy's manor. Dean was on the run with the goblins and Ted in DH, we literally get a scene where the trio overhears him and it's such a poignant and moving scene!! Dean was at Bill and Fleur's cottage. Dean was Ginny's boyfriend. Dean was on the Quidditch team. Dean was in the AD. Dean was literally the most relevant secondary character in ootp, hbp and dh (as far as the Gryffindors are concerned). Not to mention that he has a fully fleshed out backstory - his dad was killed for refusing to join Voldemort and Dean was raised thinking he was a muggle but he finds out it's not true (we actually do get to hear some echo of this backstory in that DH scene when the trio overhears him talking to the goblins and Ted).

"He had no backstory, I don't think we even met his parents, he was just "Seamus' nicer friend"." this is projection. this is not how Dean is treated in canon, but this is how Dean is treated by the fandom. the fandom constantly overlooks Dean and ruined his characterization to make him look like Seamus' nice friend when he actually has a personality of his own and is more interesting as a character than Seamus. now, as a former Popular Deamus Blogger, i can tell you the reasons why the fandom prefers seamus over dean sooo much is a bit suspicious but i don't want to wave around the racism allegations.... but they do constantly uwu-ify Dean and reduce him to Seamus' friend while Seamus receives significantly more attention from the fandom. canon doesn't justify this, if we were to follow canon, then Dean would be the one getting more attention and fanfictions than Seamus. (Dean also has great potential for fanfictions as you can also ship him with Luna) Anyway, all this to say that this woman probably forgot all about the books and is going on a whim about fanon characterization. I'm mad she turned off reblogs because I was ready to go out of my HP blogging retirement to defend my lord and savior Dean Thomas, the best background character in HP

Girl!! In the name of all Rowlingblr, i would like to appoint you head of the Dean Thomas fanclub. That was some good fangirling.

I didn't know that Dean was currently or in some fandom spaces LESS popular than Seamus. I always thought the opposite was true! Seamus is kind of annoying and confrontational in canon. Dean is way cooler and could have been the hero of his own story. Dean x Luna had its hour of glory circa 2007 (post DH release), it was definitely a guilty pleasure of mine.

I think people who get all up Jo's ass about Lavender and Parvati being kind of vapid and annoying need to take a chill pill. It's not like they're on Pansy's level of mean and hateful, they're just not heroines. God forbid a story imply that focusing on gossip, fashion and horoscopes might not make you a role model.

[imthepunchlord]

Just a random question, but do you like adrien and marinette being the main duo, or do you think two other people would've been better?

Yes and no.

It's kinda complicated.

So, with my long break from Miraculous, clearing out my salt mines, and doing a gradual rewatch of the show with fresh eyes and enjoying the nostalgia of what used to be, I can say I am reminded on why, we as a fandom, enjoyed them as leads and as a pair.

There was some yin-yang potential in their dynamic, specifically playing off Lady Wifi introducing the Head vs Heart idea.

Marinette's an Empathetic Head. She's observant and perceptive, the planner and quick thinker, typically, she responds logically to what's presented to her. But she does feel deeply for others, and that empathy and kindness drives her to step up and help others.

Adrien in turn is a Reasonable Heart, at least, meant to be. He works off his feelings, goes with his gut, his wants; but he's also meant to be the emotional reason, knowing what to say to ground those that are getting caught up in themselves, offer support and direction, one they didn't consider or see before.

It nicely places off that theme that there's a little bit of the other in the counterparts, which is why the two halves have those dots, a little bit of yang resides in yin and vice versa.

And between the fluff and the snark and the support/loyalty they do offer each other, that potential for them as partners and users for the Cat and Ladybug is there.

Unfortunately, the writers' bias and stubbornness ruined that dynamic. What's meant to be a partnership of equals never becomes equals. Adrien never steps up as a leader and shares the weight of responsibility, and Marinette never feels like she can ease back and trust others to handle things, making her feel like she has to solve everything and be THE solution.

There's also the factor that they decided to prioritize the romance over the friendship, which did not really help Adrien as a hero as he focused more on his romantic pursuits than being a hero, flirting at the wrong time, not taking anything seriously... it was a bad look. And then Adrien and Marinette as civilians, despite being stated to be friends, I kinda question if they truly are. Adrien never actively goes to hang out with Marinette on his own, most of the time, there's a social expectation for them to hang out as civilians, or a favor is involved.

One of the aspects that has a romance work is having a good friendship to be that foundation. But the writers don't value friendship, not between actual friends and not between the love interests.

And the third issue is their means of growth.

Thomas, unfortunately, echoed the idea that girls grow through suffering. So Marinette's growth is just having the narrative against and giving her a hard time and she just can't win no matter what she does. Damned if she do, and damned if she don't. And I got to see that she developed anxiety and has an Atlas Complex and is very stress and just...

And with Adrien, he's just stagnant. He doesn't get involved in his own plot. He doesn't step up to the responsibility of being a hero, nor does he seek to share the weight of leadership. He's handed things on a silver platter, is allowed to be upset and petty and recklessly use his power.

And all of these factors just throws a big wrench into the potential of their partnership and them as leads and as the Cat and Ladybug heroes.

Better writers can make them work. And I bet there are a lot of good fanfics out there that have made them work.

I can see that potential and promise there. It's just really poor execution that ruined it.

I also will say, personally, I do think narrative wise things would flow better if they had a kwami swap at the start. Though, this is largely working the direction canon did go and I can see how a kwami swap could've combated that.

Plagg is set up to be the ideal foil to Marinette and have her grow, as she's too much of a giver, overthinks, piles too much on her plate, and struggles to put herself first. Extra bonus that they could've been a hilarious duo to see.

Tikki's big appeal with Adrien is that she would've gotten him involved in his own plot. Would've pushed for him to figure out who he is, what he wants to do, to be more involved if not be the leader, and to think more before he acts. And there could've been some good fluff as Tikki fills the void his mom left, as she can be very affectionate and supportive.

There's also the factor that Adrien needs someone to straight up tell him when he did something wrong or uncool. Anything that's a vague hint that Plagg occasionally gives just goes over Adrien's head or is ignored.

And there is that big appeal of shifting up the dynamics. Canon's issue is that Marinette and Tikki are initiators, while Adrien and Plagg are reactors. Mixing up these dynamics would've done wonders for their characters and interactions.

So, yeah over all, they can and could've worked as leads and holders of the Ladybug and Cat. The writing just really screwed them over. Though, I will say, doing different leads for Ladybug and Cat isn't an impossibility either.

[yahoodarling]

Yandere Thoma/Ayato X Isekaied GN Reader

Warnings: Posted in comments to avoid spoilers, please read them if you wish to avoid potential triggers.

Chapter 2: 6k+- words, Chapter 3

Full Fic option: 20k words

The words Ayato left with you clung to your mind, in all this time interacting with ‘characters’ you haven't once seen anything alter the course of the world yet. Perhaps it's a twisted Butterfly effect and your actions have changed something you cannot see but Teyvat was still intact and no news of a newly declared war has come about (for whatever reasons your actions may potentially had started a war in the first place). Perhaps the time of paranoia can finally come to an end and you can ‘live' a little, truly live here if it means spending the rest of your life in this world. You also owe it to Thoma. You've done everything in your power to avoid him when he's done nothing less but show genuine interest in getting closer to you and with Ayato's words you can confirm that you've hurt him. In your time knowing him, truly knowing him, not as a character reading lines of script, not as a collection of pixels on a screen but as a real person with flesh and feelings, it's really made you appreciate him more than anything one could feel for a fictional character. Thoma is not fictional in this world and in this world he looked to you for a friendship, you lead him on in your weakness and now he has to face the loss because of your choices. Ayato was right, you truly don't have the right to make this decision but the least you can do is make up for your mistakes and keep your promises. Teyvat isn't going to fall apart just because you want a friend, what led you to think you could change the fate of the universe in the first place? Fate is a strong thing, it will not break so easily just because you exist. The rest of the ‘plot’ will go on as normal, the ‘hero’ is most likely still in Sumeru sorting out their issues and that ‘hero’ can go on and change Teyvats fate, you can sit still, live a normal life and they can keep the story going. 

You decide the best way to apologise is to show Thoma you genuinely care and the best way to do that, (other than actually talking to him) is to do what he's already established means a lot to him, make something. Thoma loves to see the effort people put into something much more than the actual execution of it. You are hardly a master baker yet he savours what you bake like it's been done by a professional, so play to your strengths. You finish your work day, inform your boss you will no longer be taking the overtime and rest for the day. Not wanting to rush into things too quickly you wait a few days and in your spare time make a batch of miso butter cookies and a simple fresh loaf of shokupan on the day you decide to meet him. It being a weekend you were off work but that also meant Thoma wouldn't be in the city, he does his trips here only during the week when he needs specific supplies for his upkeep of the clans residence. Taking a walk to the Kamisato Clan is quite the walk but you owe it to him to get this done, he can't be the one to keep chasing after you, you need to show you want to be close as well. 

You arrive midday, the walls of the clan still so daunting, and walk to the entrance where the clans guards await, noticing your presence long before you could actually stand before them. 

“Good day, I am here to deliver something to Thoma.”

The guard eyes you but responds, “He's out. If you have any deliveries you can leave them here where they will be checked before entering the clan.”

Thoma isn't here? Shit. That makes this whole thing a bust. 

“Do you know where he's gone or when he'll come back? I'd prefer to see him in person.”

“No. Please leave any packages here and-” the guard was cut off as the man of the house walked up to the entrance, Ayato offered a slight smile, perhaps to ease your nerves at the guard's menacing stance though that is his job, before turning to said guard.

“They are a guest and are welcome to the clan. Thank you for serving your duties but they are free to enter.”

The guard bowed and uttered a small, “Yes my lord.”

Ayato then stood to the side to allow you in, his arm outstretching the direction in welcoming. 

“Ayaka and I were just having tea in the break of our schedules. Please do join us.”

Well it seems you will be meeting Ayaka (for the second time), not expected, not something you were prepared for but if you are to truly let go of your worries then meeting Ayaka should not be a problem. 

You follow suit and see Ayaka sitting at the table on the outside courtyard , she smiled in greeting as you and Ayato approached. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, I am Ayaka Kamisato.” she nodded in greeting. It's a little difficult to respond to people such as Ayaka and Ayato whom are so versed in proper Inazumaian etiquette but you've been in Inazuma for long enough to have picked up some things. You bow slightly in turn, “A pleasure as well Lady Ayaka, thank you for welcoming me to your home.” You responded in a similar way when first meeting Ayato though you imagine conversing with him from now on would be a lot more relaxed after your previous meetings. Said man indicated for you to sit beside his sister which you did, form a lot less refined compared to the pair of siblings. 

“Ayaka, this is the person Thoma has been talking about as of late. A new friend to the Kamisato Clan.”

“Oh! It's truly wonderful to put a face to a name. Thoma has spoken only positives about you. What brings you here?”

You look down to the wooden box in your hand, your apology gift. 

“I need to speak with Thoma and give him something.”

You don't even need to look at Ayato to know that he's fully aware of what your meeting with Thoma is all about.

“I see. He's gone out for a walk at the moment but should be back soon. Anyway,” it felt like ice drawn at the blunt way she changed the topic. She quickly turned back to Ayato, more specifically the paper in her hands, with a look of true delight on her face. 

“The travellers' tales of Sumeru are incredible! Such a different place but the stories they are embarking on are memorising.” her eyes had a sheen to them, not the gloss of tears but of something you couldn't exactly tell what it embodied. 

“Their letter details so much, the food, the culture, the people as well as all the situations they've ended up in.” she giggles, lifting her hand to cover her joy but not truly caring about it since she was in such comfortable company which is… odd considering you just met. 

Ayato looks at you with a quick strained smile, almost to say, ‘sorry she's overlooking you’ but quickly returned to paying his attention to Ayaka. 

“I am not surprised they often find themself in trouble haha though it is good to know they are enjoying their time there. Do they mention when they may return to Inazuma?”

Ayaka looks slightly dejected at that, “No. They say they need to stay in Sumeru for now but will come to the next major festival if they can.” she takes a deep breath in and releases it. “I hope it's soon. I want to hear all these stories from their mouth rather than just as words on a page.”

So Ayaka also has that ‘crush’ on the traveller which was very heavily implied in the game. That must be the reason she is so relaxed and open with her emotions here. 

She looked back down at the letter, a soft smile developing. “I hear Yoimiya is planning on taking a trip to Sumeru in the future, perhaps I can ask her to deliver a token from me to the traveller while she is there.”

Ayato's smile remained as always listening to his sister but the small crinkle of the wrinkles by his eyes increased slightly for but a moment before relaxing. His wrinkles… a pity the game models of the characters didn't implement small details such as those. It would have been interesting to see what small features the characters had ‘realistically’ that weren't shown. Would Jean have bags around her eyes? Would Albedos skin have a slight difference of texture than normal? Perhaps Cyno has a more defined tan or Xiangling having slight burn blisters on her hands from cooking and her vision? You've only had a closer look at Thoma and he was so much more ‘real’ than just a 2D image which was slightly unsettling at first but normal now. What interesting things to think about…

“How about you join her?”

Your fascination died instantly. What? No, Ayaka will NOT be joining Yoimiya, that's not how it goes. Ayaka will deny or something will stop her.

“Really? But what of my responsibilities? I don't even know if she'd accept me joining.”

Exactly. 

“Do not fret, I will have your duties covered and Yoiymiya is your friend, I think she'd appreciate getting to share the trip with you. You deserve a break as well and I see no better opportunity than this.”

No, no, no, no you won't because she's not going. 

Ayaka stood up, elation beaming off of her while she clutched the letter closer to her. 

“Thank you brother! Oh I must ask Yoimiya right away!” 

She bowed and made haste out the residence not even sparing you a glance, to her you were a nobody. Her mind was solely on making this trip. 

You sat in shock, in the past her forgetting about you would be amazing, proof of your ‘npcness’ but you only felt stunned. Ayaka doesn't go to Sumeru, only Yoiymiya does for her second story quest, Ayaka is not involved, Ayaka does not show up, Ayaka is not part of that plot!

“I'm glad she can have a chance to experience the world outside the residence though having to cover for her duties will prove tedious.” Ayato shook his head, then chuckled. “But I'm not opposed to it for this.”

Just how- how has your involvement changed this?! It must be your fault, it can only be your fault, the story has gone on exactly as it was shown in the game so why is this different? What could you have done to make Ayaka go? 

“Hmm?” Ayato noticed your silence, “Is something the matter?”

You swallow the spit that had accumulated in your mouth and regained as much composure as possible. “Yes yes I am fine I just- I just need to go have a quick walk by myself. I will be back soon.” It's all you could say. Your mind switched to autodrive in shock and walked you away, neither mind nor eyes truly focusing on anything but your legs walking you a path you've taken many times before yet never once stepped on, into the forests behind the clan house. 

Walking in the tanuki filled forest may not have been the best idea, you recall ingame how Hilichurls and Fatui mages are ‘spawned’ here yet your walk was nothing but peaceful. The sound of the stream was somewhat calming, it helped you to think logically. Just because Ayaka says she's going to go on this trip doesn't mean she actually will, something will happen that will prohibit her from going to Sumeru. She is a very important character, her absence in Inazuma may cause something terrible to happen that didn't ingame. Maybe she helps a person in need ‘canonically’ but because in this existence she leaves for Sumeru she isn't there to save said person, that person dies or many people die which could upset their families which could cause them to lose faith in the (police) which could lead to disrupt in the city which could… which could… leave blood spilt? 

You stopped your rambling thoughts, eyes zoning in on the pools of blood on the moss covered stones. Whatever caused this is nothing you should get involved in, until a sound of a strangled hiss, electro energy popping and fizzing in the air, a shriek of vengeance and then… nothing. The sound came from further ahead to the right behind a large mound, you watch to see the source, feet ready to run away as the slightest threat. Footsteps sounded and around the bend came a semi dirt covered Thoma, looking ahead with a solemn expression, seemingly dazed. His chest huffed out periodic breaths of air to regain himself and latestly wiped off his brow and took out a cloth and dabbed at the specks of blood on his clothes and arms, while doing so he turned and saw you standing motionless, eyes awide and still in semi shock. Almost instantly devastation fell upon his face, his eyes sunk in immediate sadness, he just looked at you for a second, whatever his thoughts were were his own, before quickly putting the cloth away and rushed to step towards you. 

“Please just- i'm just doing my duty, I don't mean-, i'm not…” the more he tried to justify himself the more he seemed to sink into his own hole. 

“I know this looks bad, you are the last person I'd want to see me like this but-” he took a deep breath in, steeled himself to elaborate properly, “it's to protect the clan. Fatui spies, rogue samurai, rival clans, a lot of them come here to spy on the clan or put us at risk, i'm just doing my duty and protecting the people who protect me.” he looked at you earnestly, hoping for your understanding, hoping you don't see him as a murderer, hoping to retrain the image of an amicable person but his soft smile of a plea also held the acceptance that you may not acknowledge his reasonings, that you'd turn your back and leave. 

You do understand, you do know Thoma isn't a harmless friendly face, that he can and will do what must be done for the people he cares about, it's just that… it's a little hard to easily be calmed even with that notion when the very real blood and remains of that dedication is shown spewed across the forests floor, it's not something any ‘average’ person would not react to but still, this is Thoma, he has his reasons, it was done in the name of goodwill and he's trying to explain it to you. 

You take a few steps towards him and offer a hesitant smile, “I get it, I don't see you as any less than before.”

Before you even regain your senses properly you feel his arms around you, tight and secure, his hand cupping the back of your head and hiding his face in your shoulder, so desperate to have the reassurance that it's okay but still hesitant to look at you, like you may change your mind. 

“Thank you… archons above I was worried I've scared you. My word, that's the last thing I'd want…” she shook his head slightly, took one last deep breath and moved back up, his hands grasping your shoulders lightly, you could see his face up close now and he finally allowed himself to look at you, his face held a smile. “I am so happy to see you!” the heavy atmosphere diminished as Thomas usual radiance shone, “Haha, what are you doing here? It's been ages, the last place I thought I'd see you was all the way here.”

“Oh yeah, I actually came to apologise about that, about being distant. It wasn't right of me to just cut you off, I'm sorry.”

He stayed silent, only looking at you, his eyes softened and nose wrinkled in his genuine expression of embrace. “Dont worry about it, I was clingy, I'm just glad to know you are here now. I'm really happy about that.” he chuckled and shifted his weight to point you back up the path to the Kamisato residence. 

“Let's go catch up shall we?”

On the walk back up you explained to Thoma your ‘reason’ for avoiding him (your half lie, half truth reason), the same one you told Ayato. You are shy and get intimidated by how social he is. Thoma nodded at your explanation, expressed his apologies for not noticing your discomfort and promised from now on he'll be more aware when you are together and not encourage meeting with others you aren't comfortable with. The walk was nice, a bit strained because of the topic but after all the knots had been loosened it felt good to be relaxed with him again. 

You two entered the Yashiro court again, Ayato still sat at the table reading through some papers. Thoma turned to you, “Oh sorry, meeting with Ayato was one of the things that made you uncomfortable right? We could go somewhere else to catch up?”

“No it's alright, I met with him earlier when I arrived. I told him I'd return so it would be rude not to haha.”

The noise must have alerted said man, Ayato peaked his head up and greeted the both of you with a smile as you walked towards him and sat down.

“The both of you have returned safely from your walks then, it's good to see. How was it?”

Thoma hesitantly chuckled, “Haha, came across some trouble but nothing I can't iron out. Otherwise we just had a little talk.”

Ayato nodded and hummed.

You remember your carrier box filled with the apology gifts for Thoma and opened it.

“Thoma, I made some more biscuits and bread and wanted to give them to you, to further state my apology.”

“oh? Perfect then, we can have them with tea.” Ayato must have had someone refill the teapot while you were away as Thoma poured you both cups of steamed golden liquid and refilled Ayatos. Thoma took a biscuit and devoured it in delight, did he always over exaggerate when eating the things you baked or was his reaction authentic? 

“Ayato, would you like one? They really are divine.”

“No thank you. It would be wrong of me to strip you of your joy haha.”

It was odd but so welcoming to be able to have a casual conversation with the two. It seemed easy to get lost in Thomas stories, he seemed fully invested in everything he spoke of and when listening he truly captured every word. Ayato, though not as vocal as Thoma when he did speak his words were like a maze you'd have to do a small mental puzzle to understand if they were a wise response or a guileful remark coming from his teasing nature. Though harder to understand, Ayato's words were still a welcoming part of the conversation as the three of you went on to drink and share. 

Ayato shuffled his papers, putting them to the side, even on his supposed break he was reading through documents, Thoma hummed, took a quick look around then returned his gaze on Ayato.

“Where is Lady Ayaka? I thought you two were having this tea break to discuss something.”

Oh wait… Ayaka…

“Yes, she received a letter from the traveller today and was eager to share it, haha she truly is fascinated with that adventurer. She's not here at the moment however, she's gone to speak with Yoimiya. She says Yoimiya will be taking a trip to Sumeru in the future and has gone to ask if she may join.”

“Oh that's wonderful!-” Thoma hesitated, “Oh but doesn't she have some important meetings lined up these coming months with the shrine? There were those exchanges that need to be made, some deliberations about the upcoming festivals… as supportive as I am about her going on a trip, it doesn't seem doable with just how much is installed for these next 3 or 4 months.”

Oh Thoma you are truly a blessing, not only are you a true friend but you reestablished that the ‘plot’ wont change. You mouth a soundless thanks to him. 

Ayato hummed and tapped his quill* rhythmically on the table. “That is true but I want Ayaka to enjoy her years and not only focus herself on clan affairs, this trip is a good first opportunity to see the world outside Inazuma and with Yoiymiya as her travel partner I do not doubt they will have a good time. As for the workload-” Ayato reached over to the paper stack and shifted through them, “I was busying myself with planning and rearranging the meetings and visits she had in the time I expect her departure will be. It is more work but it will be rewarding, you'll see.”

Thoma seemed confused, it seemed from the look on his face he was doing the same as you when it comes to Ayato's words, figuring out the puzzle but if there was an underlying meaning to his words you didn't detect them, Ayato was simply stating facts and expectations yet Thomas silence ment he was looking for more than just that. Whatever mental games Thoma was tackling he must have failed, he chuckled and melted back into his relaxed self. 

“I'm glad then, it will be good for her.”

No… no this isn't right. There will be something, something will stop her from going, there must be. 

“mhm, I only await to hear back from her and her meet with Yoiymiya, I don't see any reason why she would decline.”

Yoiymiya will decline, she will, she must. 

“oh? Are you okay?” Ayato looks at you in concern, he puts his quill* down and gives you his full attention. 

“Is something the matter? Whatever it is, I am sure we can address it.”

“No, no its okay I just realised- I had some serious stuff to do for work which i've forgotten.” 

Ayato's face turns to mock surprise, you know he didn't believe you but he doesn't comment on it, Thoma does the same but you can detect the small quiver of his smile in disappointment that you are leaving so soon.

“Oh dear! Do you need help getting back home?”

“no no, i'll be fine thank you” you rush to stand up and then smile down to the two. “Thank you for today but I must go. Enjoy your afternoon.” you rush pleasantries and are out the gate before the two could press you further on your actions. 

You've done it again, you came here to try to fix things but you've just made a mess. You can try to fix it tomorrow, for now the more pressing thoughts of the potential Sumeru trip Ayaka will go on drowned out any other thoughts. You walk home rushed, the long walk not helping much to ease your nerves, you can only hope fate will prevail and Ayaka will stay in Inazuma. 

Ayato and Thoma sat in silence as you left, mutual understanding of the odd nature of your departure yet not wanting to address it.

“So… your ‘walk’ was fruitful then?”

“Just a few stray Hilichurls and a Fatui mage but it's been sorted.”

“Thoma, you know securing the perimeter is not part of your duties, you needn't lie about the reasoning for going out.”

Thoma did not respond. 

Ayato breathed in deeply, “I am not opposed to you going out to release your emotions but I worry you may get caught up in them only to further feed into your obsessions.”

“I'm not obsessed! I'm just-” he grit his teeth in his own turmoil, “I don't want to label these feelings as ‘obsession’, that wouldn't be right to them. I don't know, I still don't know. When they stopped talking to me it felt like I'd lose them forever, that everyday I don’t see them with my own eyes is a day that they may disappear and I know that sounds obsessive but… but I don't want to call it that. I just don't…”

Ayato soaked up his friend's words like a sponge and as always his responses were either clear or muddled with undertone, this time Thoma could tell instantly Ayato's words were transparent.

“You need not worry yourself about labelling your feelings then, you two are back in contact and there is still a future for you to explore what the emotions you are holding mean. Just do not lose sight of your health and those around you, even obsession can be tamed. “

The next few months were both easier and harder than the times you were avoiding Thoma. Sure, you lessened your workload and your health improved, you stayed in contact with Thoma, not as much as before but still enough to bond over. It was good to have a friend again and the feeling was mutual, every time you did meet he seemed eager to enjoy it to its fullest. You had even met with Ayato a few more times, never to the extent of Thoma but at least it became comfortable to sit and have tea with the both of them in a relaxed manner but that was the positives, the looming threat of Ayaka changing the plot was a heavy cloud always looming. The few occasions she saw you she was cordial and respectful but her interest glossed right over like you didn't even exist. She and Yoimiya made plans, fulfilled the work she could and now here you stand on the beach you woke up on exactly 2 years ago, 2 years since you randomly came to be here in Teyvat, the same day fate was changed and both Yoimiya and Ayaka were set sail for Sumeru. 

In blunt terms, youve fucked up. This was pure proof of your paranoia, this was proof your existence can cause the plot to change and the realisation of just how helpless you are in this situation dawned on you. The very act of your existence, whether you interact with those deemed ‘special’ or not, can and will change the story and you can only wonder if it will end well or if you've led something to doom. 

It's not fair, it's not fair at all. Even though you've been friendly with Thoma recently it's not like you can truly confide in him and he's just a painful reminder of your mistakes. The burden of wearing this responsibility, one you didn't even know how to fulfil, one you failed to fulfil, it's unfair. You are only human, you have needs to fulfil and ‘dying’ isn't one of them…

But 

But is it moral to be so selfish as to care about your own being when putting the risk of others on the line? Ayaka is gone from Inazuma, just how many people was she meant to interact with if she stayed? How will her presence in Sumeru affect the story? If you guess right the ‘hero' should be done with the main quest of Sumeru if it means Yoimiyas story quest can start but what if something happens that prohibits the plot for future stories? What of Ayakas presence delays the ‘hero’, even for a minute, in which that minute was originally meant for something in the greater scheme of things? 

This is awful… this isn't right. Not only has living become so difficult because of the constant nagging of anxieties and worries but you also have the potential to be responsible for disaster simply by existing. 

It isn't right… it isn't right you afflict this world with your existence and the threat it brings. 

Two years ago when you awoke on this beach you hoped to retain a normal life, perhaps find a way back home but at the very least, set up a life for yourself, an npc life but at least something. It's only fitting that you felt you had to come here, to kneel in the sand and watch how its granules slip through your fingers, it's because you exist that this sand is moving… it's only fitting that you finally come to the conclusion that you must die while being here. This is the place of your ‘birth’ into this world, perhaps it can be the place of your death as well. Not ‘death’, not some convoluted meaning of ‘dying' and becoming a new person, no you need to die. You need to die to ensure the people of Teyvat can remain on course. You are the virus here, you are the disease you need… you need to die.

Tears ran down your cheeks at such a resolute statement, sure youve thought about it all but now and truly you've decided that this is it, that you must do this. It's not like you want to die, not on a personal scale, but on a mental and emotional scale all this is too much, too much to bear and too much to live through. 

It's not fair to leave the people you've so selfishly afflicted with your presence without giving them a reason but you are too much of a coward to tell it to their face. It wouldnt go well if you were to stand infront of Thoma and tell him you were going to kill yourself, thats for sure but at the very least he could get some form of an explanation. 

You decide tonight is not the night you die, that would be tomorrow, you stand up from the ground and walk home, the weight of your choice still as raw as the moment you decide it, death is no light matter after all. 

You get home, a small space a person like yourself could afford, only the basics of furniture and 2 rooms. There under your door lay a letter, you pick it up and sit at your table where unblemished paper sat to become future suicide notes. Taking a look at the letter it was sealed in wax, the crest of the Kamisato Clan dug into its mass. 

You open it,

‘Dearist   XXXX

May this letter find you well. Both Thoma and myself wish to invite you for a stay at the Kamisato Clan as both a guest and a friend. The changing season brings a beautiful opportunity to witness it first hand as the trees take on their new hues and the oceans change their tides, you are welcomed to join us. Thoma sends his best wishes but asks for them to properly be said in person rather than in post. We eagerly await your response. 

Signed

Ayato’

Haha… how casual for a man like him… haha… haha here you are preparing to write letters announcing your death to them and yet they think only of including you in their lives. Haha… how horrible, how utterly vile it is to be able to experience emotions such as these. These feelings only prove your point more. You put the letter to the side and stared blankly at the response you are going to reply with, oh of only it were as optimistic and welcoming as theirs was.

You tried to make it easy for both yourself and those intended to read it. You state that the mistakes of your past have lay heavy on you and that death is the only relief, that you are sorry you cannot return the sentiment of friendship and must lay your mistakes to rest.

To Thoma you leave a more personal note, telling him that he made your life here in Inazuma so much better, that it was only in the moments with him you forgot your ‘mistakes’ for even a moment and for that you are grateful. It's true, it's only Thoma who made you forget the fact you don't belong here when you spend time with him. Sending this letter to him is assured to rip his heart, he sees you as a friend and he's going to beat himself at the thought that he did not help you enough to make you feel you'd want to stay, that he wasn't a good friend, which is not true at all but you know there is little you can do to convince him otherwise. In a moment of distressed induced vulnerability, with tears in your eyes you state something so cliche as that perhaps in another life you two may be able to have the friendship you both craved in this life, if only there is a case of reincarnation and you may be born in the same universe as him and live that life with no burdens or guilt of your existence. 

To Ayato you are more cordial, less emotional or descriptive but you tell him that he was right on that day in the rain, that there is a deeper problem than you just being ‘introverted’, otherwise you keep it professional. 

After the hardest two were done it was rather simple, it's not like you have any friends or family to write to and sending a letter to the street vendor you buy from doesnt make sense. You do write a letter and tell your boss that you simply will not be returning to work, you don't say why, and that you thank him for all the opportunities and help he has given you. 

For once it was easy to fall asleep, for the first time in 2 years the moment you lay your head on your pillow you were unconscious. For once you've felt the release of the burden you feel and the comfort that will come when your plague on this world is done. You are so tired and finally you can rest. 

The next day went on simply, it was a weekday and you went to work, in the afternoon you submitted your letters to the post and walked back home, taking in the scenery of Inazuma. This will be the last time you walk these streets. You wait at home quietly, have a decent meal and enjoy the sounds from outside of leaves and people. You felt in an odd state all the way through the day, like your senses were hypersensitive noticing the slightest thing around you which was lovely. You got to focus on the squirrles you passed on your way to work, the smell of baked bread smelled heavenly once again like it had the first day you were in the bakery, the pink and purple blossoms of the trees were so vibrant on your way home. You had given the shop vendor a smile and a wave as you passed her, that day you felt no burden, no grief. You only had one more step to take, the hard part was already over with. 

In the late evening you stood by that beach again, the view was incredible. You sat down in the sand and got comfortable leaning against a rock and letting the tide touch the tips of your toes. You were naughty today, you bought enough substances from clinics or herb stands to be sure you felt good in your last moments. You took them quickly and then rested your head back against the rock, letting the sound of waves softly crashing, leaves rustling and the odd animal chirp lull your mind. It took some effort not to fall asleep just yet, you blinked your eyes harshly and woke yourself up a bit. This part was slightly uncomfortable, the beach you woke up on had a slight cliff, nothing you'd die by jumping off of, it was just a little steep incline but it was enough. You took a large rock from nearby and rolled it closer to the edge, tying a rope around and around your ankle. Drowning didn't seem like a peaceful death but at least like this your body can be washed into the sea where it can decay in peace without traumatising a random person strolling the beach. You relaxed and took out the large knife you had brought with you. Bleeding out decreases the time by knocking yourself out and not having enough energy to wake up in the water and struggle. You should be numb enough now. You closed your eyes and cut lengthwise, both arms, a leg… you tried your neck but even drugged up that was beyond doable. You didn't even register when you had stopped, you didn't see the blood flowing or feel the pain as it pooled, slowly your will died out as everything became hazed. It was a feeling, not a good or bad one, you couldn't even think. You felt the weight on your ankle tug, your consciousness dropping and allowing the gravity to pull you away. Black. 

[havendance]

Bat affiliated characters ranked by how interesting I think a genderswap AU of them would be

Tim Drake - I admit that I am biased as a Tim fan, but also if Tim where a girl then I think she would pretend to be a boy as Robin and her identity issues would be like ten times worse and it compells me

Dick Grayson - I maintain that in response to all those 'eldest daughter dick grayson' ideas, there should be an au where Bruce actually has an eldest daughter. (something I partially explored in my Helena-Dick roleswap) But also, what if the first robin were a girl!

Jean-Paul Valley - If Jean-Paul Valley were a girl I gaurentee you I would find her way more interesting (and probably actually read her comics instead of letting them languish on the to read list)

Bruce Wayne - The question of 'what if Batman were a woman?' is also something I have explored in various Helena AUs, but there's still lots of interesting ground to explore there.

Stephanie Brown - So much of Steph's character is connected to her being a teenage girl and created as this foil/love interest to Tim so I think on his own, Stevie Brown is one of those things where I think a lot does get lost, but I think that in an AU where we're also swapping Tim to be a girl there's a lot of juicy potential because of the foil thing.

Julia Pennyworth - Okay, I originally had below Alfred and then I started thinking about it. Alfred abandoning one son in favor of the other. Jules and Bruce as these sort of brothers. Buried tension... It compels me.

James Gordon - You know what? Yes. Jenny Gordon as the woman commissioner who has had to fight for every inch in Gotham and the fact that she's working with Batman just means that everyone's questioning her competence even more and there's endless rumors that they're having an affair.

Damian Wayne - The more I turn this idea over in my head the more it grows on me. The potential's there. I would need to chew on it some more. I might rank this higher if it weren't for the fact that the couple genderswapped Damian AUs I've read just weren't doing it for me.

Alfred Pennyworth - I usually do not care much about Alfred, but think of the mommy issues that Bruce would have if he were raised by his emotionally-absent brittish housekeeper.

Duke Thomas - I'd give one a shot, but I just haven't read enough of Duke yet to really get an idea on how compelling I would find this.

Cullen Row - The Row siblings have their moments, but I'm just not super invested in them. That being said, Cullen being a girl probably would make me more interested in her.

Harper Row - See above.

Barbara Gordon - The fact that Oracle is a woman is part of what makes her so awesome, but I think there could be potential for, uh, Barry Gordon (not all of these random names I come up with will be hits I am afraid) as Jim's son in terms of the Gordon family soap opera drama.

Cassandra Cain - This just makes her more boring I am afraid. He does get ranked about all the Rucka women though because of the kick-ass factor. I'd give reading about boy!cass a shot which is more than you can say about a lot of the people we're about to get into.

Jason Todd - Sorry to the Jason fans out there because I can see the potential there, but also even making her a girl is not enough to make me care about Jason more than I usually do.

Selina Kyle - There might be something there but I fear I have to admit that I don't care enough about Selina to put her higher on this list. I simply do not spend time thinking about her though I am curious enough to want to read her comics eventually.

Helena Bertinelli - The bottom of this list is all Rucka women because genderswapping them makes me actively not interested despite the fact that I usually like them. Helena being a guy would just be so boring.

Kate Kane - I guess Kate could be a gay man but then we loose the messy lesbian drama :/

Renee Montoya - ditto

Sasha Bordeaux - (This is my list and I get to include her if I want) The whole point of Sasha Bordeaux is that she is like, the ur-Rucka Women. We can't take that away from her. What's left then? (I guess other than swapping her with Tim which was a thing that I did do once.)

[part-time-zombie]

Nobody's Fool But Yours

pairings: romantic prinxiety

summary: virgil doesn't want to admit that he loves roman. if he did then he'd have to come to terms with the fact that roman doesn't love him back. after a prank gone too far ends up with roman head over heels for someone else, virgil can't help but think he's truly lost any chance he had. maybe love can still blossom when it's least expected...

tags/warnings: love potion, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, this is what happens when an aroace loser tries to write a love story, janus and remus are kinda jerks in this one but whatever, subtle background demus if you squint

word count: 8779

a/n: i came up with the idea for this one after seeing the use of love potions as a trope and thinking "has it ever been used on someone they weren't already in love with?". i don't know if this turned out ok.

Virgil knew he was a downer. He killed the vibe constantly, always finding the negative in things until they weren’t interesting or exciting anymore. He was a pessimist, a depressing force that discouraged Thomas and the other sides from trying anything even remotely fun. He knew that.

It didn’t mean he couldn’t still be hopeful.

There have been times where his nervousness turned into anticipation, where he became excited instead of anxious. When that happened he felt almost optimistic, and the daunting scale of things fell away to reveal incredible potential. It was infrequent, but it still happened on occasion.

Especially around Roman.

He didn’t know what it was about Roman, how he carried a confidence so contagious it seemed to sometimes bleed over to Virgil and pierce his fog of fear with light and song. It had been happening a lot more lately, and Virgil was simultaneously concerned and grateful for it. Sure, he appreciated those momentary bouts of enthusiasm that almost made him forget about whatever it was that had been worrying him, but he wanted to understand why and how it was happening.

If he didn’t know any better he’d say it felt like butterflies in his stomach, but that was ridiculous. There was no way he felt like that about Roman of all sides, they were almost complete opposites in every way. Roman was too loud, too boisterous and dramatic and almost obnoxiously optimistic. He was overly confident in a way that bordered on arrogance, and he never thought things through before acting on impulse and putting himself and Thomas at risk.

Then why does Virgil still like spending time with him? Why the hell does he care so much about what Roman says or thinks about him? Why does he react so strongly to something as small as Roman smiling at him? Why does seeing him happy make Virgil feel this way, where he almost feels sure enough in himself to take a chance in the same way that Roman does?

He didn’t have a good answer for that.

It was hard to say when this had all started, he just gradually became aware of that funny feeling being there. Roman would do well on an audition or be celebrating a successful date that Thomas had been on, and as he danced around the living room with that happy glow on his face Virgil would be struck with that weird-but-not-bad feeling that made him want to do something. He didn’t know what, but he felt this almost excited drive to just… he didn’t really know. It was like an enthusiasm he couldn’t place, a buzzing in his veins and a thrumming in his chest that made him feel weightless and restless all at once, and it only happened like that when he was around Roman.

It wasn’t just Roman’s happiness that affected him. If Roman was struggling with something or upset about a lost opportunity he regrets not being able to take, Virgil would feel a heaviness in his chest and a knot in his stomach that would not leave him alone. This feeling was a lot easier for him to identify as dread and grief, but when he felt it towards Roman it was overwhelming. He couldn’t stand seeing him so dejected, so utterly devastated, and he would want to help in any way he could. He usually didn’t do too well with that, though. It was pretty clear that Roman was in need of a type of comfort that Virgil didn’t know how to give him.

Sometimes it felt like they spoke different languages. They were just too different, too unlike each other to like each other.  That fact shouldn’t sting as much as it does, but it still made Virgil’s heart ache every time he thought about it. Roman had been so nice to him, he worked to make him feel like he was a part of the family, and Virgil couldn’t even return the favor in a way that mattered.

Despite this, Roman still spent time with him. In fact, Virgil usually wound up hanging out with Roman more than any other side. They would watch movies and play video games together in Roman’s room late into the night, joking back and forth until their sides hurt from laughing so much. Virgil didn’t usually laugh that hard around the others, yet Roman somehow knew just how to tease it out of him every time, spouting quips until Virgil was smiling so hard his face hurt.

It was on one of those days when it happened.

Virgil was with Roman in his room while they watched a movie. Well not so much watch, as they had both already seen it plenty of times by now and were mostly using it as background noise while they talked over it. They usually talked about senseless topics, never wavering any deeper than sharing their feelings on recent events, but this time Virgil felt surprisingly open, almost vulnerable in a way he never let himself be. He doesn’t remember how, but the conversation somehow made its way over to loneliness, an old and familiar ache for Virgil.

“You ever worry about dying alone?” he had asked. It was a more personal fear of his, and one he hadn’t planned on bringing up with Roman, yet it appears he was going to do just that.

Roman was quiet for two moments too long, and Virgil started to worry that he had gone and brought the mood down again. “Probably more than I should, if I’m being honest. But I try not to think about it. After all, with how likeable I am someone is bound to want to stick around,” he said this with a light and easygoing tone, but it sounded hollow in some subtle way. “Besides, it’s not like I’m completely alone. I’ve got Thomas and the others, and I’ve got you.”

Virgil’s stomach did that weird thing again, but he tried to ignore it. Besides, Roman surely didn’t mean it. Virgil was a buzzkill, a downer of the highest degree. To think that anyone, let alone Roman, would actually want to stick around with him that long was laughable.

“You’ll get tired of me eventually. It’s not exactly like I’m fun to be around,” he said.

“I didn’t say that. In fact, I think you can actually be some pretty decent company whenever you let your guard down like this,” Roman responded with a smile.

“You don’t mean that. I know I’m a lot to deal with, and I’ve probably got better luck at catching lightning in a bottle than finding someone who actually likes me.”

Roman didn’t say anything to that, though his eyes shone with an odd determination, like he had been presented with some challenge. He let Virgil change the subject, and the conversation was quickly forgotten in favor of a lighter topic.

It was two days later that Roman had knocked on Virgil’s door late at night. When Virgil finally pulled himself out of bed to answer the door, Roman had shoved something into his arms with a victorious smile before he could even get a word in.

“May the odds be forever in your favor, Katniss Everdoom,” he said with a wide grin.

Virgil looked down at what Roman had given him, only to nearly drop it in shock.

It was an ornate glass bottle, cap tightly secured to hold in the lightning bolt it contained. It writhed and danced around in the bottle like a tesla coil, never dwindling in its light or liveliness.

Virgil looked up at Roman in disbelief. “I, what, how did you… “

“Well, now that you’ve got your lightning in a bottle, maybe next time you’ll believe it when someone tells you they want to spend time with you,” he joked, granting Virgil one last wave before heading to his own room for the night. Virgil held the bottle close, unsure whether or not it was the static electricity from the lightning that made his nerves go all tingly and haywire.

That was around the time that Virgil had first started to consider the idea that he may have feelings for Roman, feelings that he really didn’t want to have to deal with.

Virgil had gotten really good at not dealing with those feelings, as it turns out. He could turn his smiles into smirks, avoid any and all discussions about romance by pretending to be annoyed instead of exposed, and squash down the butterflies like they were never there. It wasn’t easy but he got used to it, not like he had a choice. He couldn’t actually be expected to go and say something about what he was feeling, he’d just run the risk of mockery from the others and rejection from Roman, neither of which he wanted to endure. No, it was safest for him to just keep these stupid feelings to himself until he either stopped having them or died, whichever came first.

It was hard to not pretend to feel them around Roman, though. Especially when it was just the two of them in his room joking about the movie they weren’t watching. On nights like that when he made Roman hunch over and clutch at his sides with laughter, he felt almost tempted to go and say something about how seeing Roman this happy made Virgil feel less afraid. He’d stop himself every time, reminding himself that there was no way it would turn out well. He would just make Roman uncomfortable, overstepping their friendship by trying to make it into something emotional and complicated when it didn’t need to be. Besides, there was no way Roman felt like that about him. Virgil was everything that Roman stood against; fear versus confidence, pessimism versus optimism, doubt versus hope. That Roman tolerated him at all was miraculous enough.

Virgil tried to will the feelings away, spending more time alone and away from Roman and staying up far later than he wanted blasting every breakup song he knew to try and talk him out of it.

It didn’t work, all it did was make him even more miserable and tired.

This was stupid, he was being stupid. This wasn’t some ridiculous middle school crush; he was just surprised and happy to actually be friends with Roman and his idiot brain didn’t know how to handle it. That was all. Just a misunderstanding on his part and nothing more. It isn’t love.

The loud chiming of his alarm woke Virgil with a jerk. He really wanted to just go back to sleep, just sleep until everything went away. He heard the others make their way downstairs for breakfast, and Virgil resisted the urge to just roll over and stay in bed. If he did he would just make Patton worry, who would then get everyone else all freaked out and convinced that he had ducked out again, and he really didn’t want to put up with that whole mess.

Sighing in defeat, Virgil dragged himself out of bed and got dressed before slowly trudging down the hall towards the stairs. As he passed the others rooms, he heard a low but familiar chuckle come from behind one of the doors. He paused, looking at the door to Janus’ room. Why the hell was Remus in there, and what was he laughing about? Not wanting to be on the receiving end of another one of their jokes, he threw the door open with a growl.

Janus and Remus turned in surprise to look at him, mischievous smiles slowly leaving their faces once they realized they had been interrupted.

“What the hell is so goddamn funny this early in the morning?” Virgil asked them. He wasn’t in the mood for whatever this was, and it was best to shut it down before it became anything worse.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Janus said with a smirk. “It’s not funny at all, and I’m definitely looking forward to a peaceful breakfast downstairs with everyone.”

Remus chuckled darkly, far less subtle about his amusement. “Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ll just love what’s for breakfast, Virge. Best go and grab a plate before there’s none left for you.”

Virgil pushed past the worry that had started to creep up on him, turning it into anger. “Look, whatever it is you guys are planning on doing, just don’t even try.”

“Oh, but Virgil, I’m afraid it’s already been done,” Janus cooed. “We’re just staying out of range. You ought to do the same, if you’re smart. Or not. Either way we’ll have a good laugh.”

Now Virgil let himself feel worried. Whatever they were doing it definitely wasn’t good, and he had to go warn the others before anything happened. He ran down the stairs without another word, rushing to the kitchen in a panic. In the time it took him to get downstairs his mind had already supplied him with a surplus of suggestions on the scene he’d walk into: fire, poison, injury, death, humiliation, mutilation, mockery, the very least he’d see is some horrible drama. He turned the corner, barging into the kitchen in a breathless rush, coming face to face with-

The other sides calmly sitting down to start breakfast.

Virgil struggled to get his breath back, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Patton was currently in the middle of flipping the last of the pancakes and Roman and Logan were seated calmly at the table, now looking up at him in surprise at his sudden entry. Everything looked exactly like it was supposed to, not a single thing out of place.

“Virgil, is everything alright?” Logan asked, confusion and concern in his voice.

“Yeah, I just… are you guys okay?” he asked in return, cringing at the shake in his voice.

“We’re all perfectly fine, though you clearly seem troubled. Did something happen?”

Virgil tried to calm himself down. Maybe Janus and Remus were just messing with him, trying to get him all worked up over nothing until he panicked over another false alarm. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time they pulled something like that, anyway.

“No, I just, did any of you see Remus or Janus in here earlier?”

“Oh god, what did they do this time?” Roman said with a groan before grabbing one of the finished pancakes and applying a generous helping of syrup to it.

“I don’t know, they were just acting really weird this morning.”

Patton finished the pancakes and took a seat next to Roman, curious and concerned. Roman looked down to take a large bite of his syrup-soaked breakfast as Logan answered him.

“I don’t recall seeing either of them all morning, in fact I was about to go look for them as they hadn’t shown up to eat yet. I doubt either of them did anything devious, Virgil.”

Roman looked up from his plate to throw a skeptical glance at Logan. He looked like he was about to say something, only for his jaw to fall open as he let his fork drop to the floor with a clatter.

“Roman, you okay?” Patton asked him.

Roman absently nodded his head in response, not taking his eyes off of the logical side. It didn’t take long for Logan to start to squirm under the stare.

“Is there something on my face?” he eventually asked.

Roman blinked and slowly shook his head, the ends of his mouth quirking upwards in a dopey openmouthed grin. “No, nothing. You look fine, Logan. Actually, you look great.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped in sync with everyone else’s. What the hell?

Logan balked for a moment, stunned by the sudden compliment. “I beg your pardon?”

“I just never really noticed how good those glasses look on you until now. You certainly wear them better than Patton does, anyway,” Roman said, smile never leaving his face.

“Roman, while I appreciate the flattery, you do know we have the same face, right? I don’t wear these glasses any differently than Patton does, and you don’t usually compliment me to begin with, so I must say I am surprised by this sudden change in behavior,” Logan slowly responded.

Roman’s face fell for a moment, before it swiftly brightened again. “Well, I’m sorry I never really complimented you before. You certainly deserve more praise, anyway. Maybe I can make up for it starting now. I mean, it’s not just your glasses that make you look so cool. It’s how your eyes shine behind them like stars in the night sky. And you really hold yourself with such composure and focus, it’s kind of mesmerizing to watch. Your hair is always so neatly combed, too, not a single strand out of place. I really must commend you for that, it is no easy feat. I just can’t believe I never noticed how amazing you are until now,” he exclaimed.

Virgil had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation that made sense. Either that or Roman was pulling one of the cruelest jokes of all time, but he wouldn’t do something like this. Why was he saying any of this, especially to Logan of all sides? While they didn’t hate each other, they certainly didn’t get along very well. They were constantly butting heads, and in all the years he’s known them Roman has never gone and flirted with him like this, almost like he was…

“Roman,” Patton slowly asked him, “are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Roman finally turned to look at him, a lovestruck look on his face. “Of course, padre. I feel awesome, actually. I haven’t felt so light and lovely in a long time, it’s like all the love in me has finally found the chance to come singing to the surface, and all for Logan!” he clapped his hands together excitedly, expression shifting to something like a revelation as he looked back at Logan.

“That’s it! Logan, I’m going to compose a ballad in your name, expressing just how lovely you are! It could even be a duet. I know you aren’t too fond of singing, but it would be amazing if you’d sing this with me. You have such a beautiful singing voice, after all. Please, Logan, you’d be great at it, I know you will! You’re always so great at everything, and I would love to hear you sing with me!”

The distant sound of laughter made its way into the room, and Virgil turned to face Remus and Janus as they entered the kitchen.

“Oh, this is so much better than I thought it’d be,” Remus said with a laugh. “I just can’t get over the look on his face right now, he looks so stupid! He’s got no idea what happened!”

“What happened?” Logan asked, impatience evident in his voice.

“Oh, Logan, and here I thought you were clever enough to figure it out on your own,” Janus said with a condescending click of the tongue. “Remus put a love potion in the syrup, you see. While I did tell him that it was a bad idea at first, I must say I’ve since changed my mind.”

Virgil stared at them in shock. Janus had to be lying. Remus wouldn’t actually, he didn’t-

“Okay, this has gone way too far, you guys. I know you like to pull some really nasty stuff, but this is so not funny,” Virgil said, voice low and rumbling with anger.

“Oh, no, you’re right, Virge. It’s not funny, it’s fucking hilarious,” Remus cackled.

“What the hell is he talking about,” Roman said as he stood up from his chair. His expression changed from lovesick to furious, moving protectively in front of Logan with his sword in hand. “You should leave while you can before I cut you down. You don’t get to mess with Logan, not today. Now go while I’m giving you the chance. That goes for you too, snake,” he snarled.

Remus gave him a mockingly patronizing smile and a shrug before turning and strolling away with Janus in tow. Their laughter never quieted even after they had gone back upstairs. Roman sighed in relief once they had left, before looking back at Logan again.

“Are you alright, Logan? You know I wouldn’t let either of them try anything on you, right?”

Logan was unphased by the sudden appearance of the two sides, though he was definitely more focused on Roman. He stood up from his chair to better look Roman in the eye. “Did you not hear what Janus had said,” he started, keeping his voice even to ensure Roman listened. “Remus put a love potion in the syrup. You are currently under the effect of a drug; whatever it is you are feeling isn’t real. Please tell me you understand.”

Roman definitely understood him, going by the confused and conflicted look on his face as the words sunk in. It didn’t look like he accepted it, though.

“But this love is real, Logan,” he asserted. He took Logan’s hands into his own, looking down at them with teary eyes. “I know for a fact what love feels like. I’ve been feeling it for years now and this is that same love, just stronger and directed at you now. It won’t go away and I can’t stop feeling it, I’ve tried. I know that you probably want me to stop this, and I doubt you feel the same way about me, but I still feel love for you, and I can’t change that.”

Logan nodded before gently removing his hands from Roman’s. “I’m going to go talk to Janus and Remus to see if they’ll tell me how to undo the potions effects. Can you please wait here until I get back? I won’t be gone very long.”

Roman looked back at him, skepticism warring with loyalty. “How do you know they won’t try to hurt you? I think I ought to go with you just to make sure you’re safe,” he offered.

“I doubt they’ll do anything else today. Even if they did, they aren’t capable of actually hurting me. I will be fine, I promise. Just wait here for me, alright?”

Roman hesitantly nodded, watching as Logan made his way up the stairs before obediently taking a seat. Patton offered him a fresh pancake to comfort him while Virgil made himself busy tossing the syrup coated ones in the trash before anyone else could eat them.

He tried to ignore the slight shakiness in his hands, forcing himself to take a deep breath to steady himself. So Roman was in love with Logan now. Even if it wasn’t real, it was still real to Roman, and it might even be permanent. He could be like this forever. He tried to be positive about it, tried to feel happy that Roman could be this happy and in love after feeling so down lately, but he couldn’t stop himself from worrying. How far would this “love” go? Does Logan feel the same, and if he doesn’t how would Roman cope with that kind of rejection? Roman could be angry or hurt, he might never be able to recover from the love potion if that happens. It could turn into obsession, he could become hateful towards anyone he thinks is trying to take Logan from him.

Even if the potion could be reversed, how would it effect Roman afterwards? This is basically a roofie; he could do something he’d regret, and if he did would he even remember what happened? Could it wear off at all? It might be permanent, he might be like this forever now, utterly devoted to Logan in a way he had never been before. He didn’t even realize he had been holding his breath until the burning in his lungs forced a gasp from him.

He turned back to the other sides in the kitchen as he finished putting the now empty dish in the sink. Roman looked lost in thought, barely even looking at Patton, who was currently trying to say anything he could think of to make him feel better. His voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his hands fidgeting in his lap. He was worried too, though he was better at dealing with it.

“Now I know you said this love feels real to you, kiddo, but could you explain it to me please?” he asked, neither of them touching their now cooled pancakes.

“I don’t know how to put it into words, Patton,” Roman started, losing himself to the potions effects again as a wistful smile made its way to his face. “It’s like I look at him and everything just feels so much more… vibrant. Everything he does is just so brilliant, and I can’t get myself to look away from him, let alone stop thinking about him. When he looks at me, I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster. It makes me want to do anything to make him happy just so I can keep seeing him smile. Have you ever felt anything like that before?”

“No,” Patton replied.

Yes, Virgil thought.

Logan returned shortly after, looking slightly weary though he did his best not to show it. He adjusted his tie as he descended the stairs, and Roman lit up all over again the second he saw him.

“It appears this potion is not designed to be permanent,” he started, much to Virgil's relief. “However, Remus was decidedly unclear on how or when it would wear off. He seemed to imply that there was some cure, but he did not elaborate on it no matter how much I asked.”

“So, it’s basically permanent, then,” Virgil mumbled. “If there’s a cure, but we don’t know it or have it, then there’s nothing we can do to fix it. He’ll just be stuck like this forever if we can’t figure out the cure. He may never go back to normal.” He could feel the panic building again, he didn’t want Roman to be under these effects forever.

Logan gave him a knowing look. “Virgil, I doubt this will be a completely permanent change. It will probably wear off eventually, and if not then I will still be working on crafting an antidote the whole time. Remus said there was a cure, and we will find it. He will be alright.”

“Of course I’m alright,” Roman interjected. “Nothing about me has changed, my love is still just as real as it has always been. I may start feeling it towards Logan now, but these feelings are nothing new to me. I know for a fact that this love is not going anywhere, never has, never will.”

Roman had to be delirious. He didn’t love Logan, right? He’d have said something, done something, to let his feelings slip if he had really been feeling them all this time like he said he did.

Patton seemed to share Virgil's confusion. “Kiddo, what do you mean when you keep saying that you’ve had these feelings for a long time?” he asked.

“I mean that I’ve been in love this whole time, it’s just that now I’m in love with Logan.”

… what?

“Who were you in love with before?” Virgil whispered.

Roman took his eyes off of Logan for a moment, screwing his face in concentration. “I… don’t know. It’s all kind of fuzzy, I just know I’m in love and that Logan is who I feel that love for now.”

He looked back up, taking in the shock and confusion on everyones faces. And the dread that was probably on Virgil's. “I don’t mean to make this all so complicated, I really can’t help feeling this way about him.” He turned back in his chair to face Logan. “I know it’s a long shot, but… do you happen to feel that way about me at all?”

He looked hopeful, but full of doubt at the same time. Virgil didn’t know which would be worse to hear, Logan rejecting him or reciprocating. All eyes were on Logan now, curious on how he would answer this heavy question.

“I’m very sorry but I don’t feel the same way about you, Roman,” he said, voice soft and sympathetic. “I know you feel very strongly towards me right now, but it is a feeling I do not share.”

Roman's face fell. He looked down at his hands in his lap, quiet for a moment. “I kind of figured,” he murmured, almost to himself. “It’s alright, though. You don’t have to pretend to like me back. Just know that I’m still in love with you, Logan. I hope that’s alright.”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t be,” Logan replied. “It is obvious that you cannot control these feelings, regardless of whether they are real or not. I need to find the cure for the potion. Would you like to take your mind off things and watch a movie downstairs while I work?”

The movie played out with little interruption. Patton kept trying to prompt Roman to talk about the movie, but his attention was elsewhere. He kept checking the stairs to see if Logan had come back yet, despite knowing that he would probably be busy for the rest of the day.

Roman slowly nodded, getting up from his chair and heading to the living room. Patton and Virgil followed while Logan grabbed the syrup and left to his room to run some tests.

Virgil couldn’t help but worry about him. Logan had told him that he would figure out a way to cure him and knowing him he’d find an answer in no time, but seeing Roman so… off, really irked him. He was like a lovesick puppy or a middle school dork dealing with their first real crush, all fidgety and constantly looking for ways to talk about the side he had fallen for.

He wanted to feel supportive of him, he really did. It was probably good for Roman to feel so happy, but there was this nagging voice in the back of Virgil's skull that itched away at him.

Roman had said that he felt this before, that he had been in love this whole time. Roman was already in love with someone else, and the potion probably just redirected his affections. The realization sat heavy on Virgil's chest. He couldn’t love Virgil anyway, not when he already loved someone else. Was it Patton? It’d make sense. The two usually got along pretty well, and they definitely had a lot more in common. He absolutely despised Janus, and since it looks like he didn’t feel this way about Logan until this morning it wasn’t him either. It had to be Patton, then.

Well maybe when this is over, he and Patton could be happy together. They’d have picnics and dance together at one of Roman's fancy balls and do all of the sappy things that people do when they’re in love. If Patton loved Roman back, Virgil would be happy for them.

Oh, who was he kidding? He’d be fucking miserable, and then he’d hate himself for being so selfish that he can’t even be happy for his friends. Why did he have to go and catch these stupid feelings for Roman? He didn’t feel the same, they were just too different. Virgil would never be comfortable dancing in a crowded castle with Roman, but that didn’t stop him from dreaming about enjoying a concert with him. Not like that would ever happen, especially not now.

“What’s on your mind, Virgil?” Patton asked from his spot on the couch.

Virgil looked up in surprise. He hadn’t even realized how quiet he’d become, absently chewing his nails while his mind ran itself in circles over something that couldn’t be helped.

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing. I guess I zoned out,” he said.

“Now I get it that you’re probably worried about Roman, but Logan is figuring it out right now. He’ll be okay, we just gotta hold on for a bit and then everything will be back to normal in no time.”

Roman perked back up at the mention of Logan's name. “Do you think he’ll be joining us for the next movie?” he asked. “We could play one of his favorite shows, and I won’t interrupt or talk over it if he doesn’t want. As long as he’s here with me, that’s all that really matters right now.”

Virgil felt restless. He couldn’t just keep listening to Roman ramble on about someone he thought he loved right next to the person he was actually in love with and the person he could never love back. It hurt too much. He got up from the couch and made his way upstairs.

“I’ll go check in on him,” he said. “He’s probably still pretty busy, though.”

“Can I go with you?” Roman called after him, already getting up to follow. “I want to see him, too. I miss him, and I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Well, we can’t all go,” Virgil replied, stopping and turning to face Roman.

“Then you can stay and watch the movie and I’ll go check on Logan,” he offered.

Virgil wanted to argue, but it was clear that Roman wasn’t going to back down. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Just don’t be gone too long. He still needs to work.”

He moved back to the couch while Roman all but raced upstairs in search of Logan. Virgil sat back down with Patton and tried to keep watching the movie.

“What’s bothering you, kiddo?” Patton asked him, voice gentle and reassuring.

Virgil let out a dry chuckle at being read so easily. “Is it that obvious?”

“Well, while you aren’t usually talkative, you seem a lot quieter today. Is it about Roman?”

Virgil couldn’t do much more than nod, keeping his gaze focused on his hands instead of Patton. “I want him to be okay,” he admitted.

“Oh, sweetie, he’s fine. Everything’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”

Virgil could only hope so, but even if they could cure Roman, there was still the matter of what he would do about the love he felt. And who he felt it to.

“Patton, do you like Roman?” he hesitantly asked, unsure how he wanted him to answer.

“Well, of course I do, kiddo. I like Roman just as much as I like you and Logan and everyone else. He’s a part of this family, and so are you,” he said with a wide, if slightly stressed, smile.

“That’s not what I meant,” Virgil clarified. “I mean, do you like him? Like, the way he says he likes Logan right now? Do you have feelings for him?”

Patton looked like a deer in headlights, to the point that Virgil could practically see the blue-screen flash across his forehead. He blinked rapidly, wrapping his brain around the question.

“Well, no, not really. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that kind of way towards anyone before, but I know I definitely don’t feel that way about Roman. Why are you asking me that?”

Virgil swallowed, processing what Patton had said. “Nothing, I was just curious I guess.”

He didn’t say anything after that, and Patton thankfully didn’t try to ask him about it either. If Patton didn’t like Roman back, then how would that change things? Surely Roman would eventually try to ask him out after he was cured, and when Patton rejected him he could be heartbroken. Virgil almost wanted to tell Roman now, when it wouldn’t hurt him that much, but it probably wasn’t the best time. He may not remember it after anyway. Maybe he’ll tell him later and hope for the best.

The credits finished rolling and Roman still hadn’t returned. It wasn’t too surprising, all things considered, since Roman had been practically vibrating in his seat without Logan around for him to stare at and compliment. He was probably bothering Logan right now and stopping him from getting anything done. It was best to get Roman away before he smothered him.

“I’m gonna go get Roman, you pick the next movie,” Virgil said as he headed back up the stairs. Patton nodded and started rifling through the DVDs, probably picking another cartoon.

Virgil finally reached Logan's door and knocked, not having to wait long before he heard a familiar and monotone “Come in” in response.

He opened the door and almost had to do a double take.

Roman had his back to the door, arms wrapped tightly around Logan in a warm and supporting hug. Logan was looking at Virgil from over his shoulder with a face of sheer exasperation, arms stiffly planted on Roman's back in a half-hearted attempt at a reciprocal embrace.

“Did you need something Virgil, or are you here for Roman?” he nonchalantly asked, as if he weren’t currently being held tightly by the romantic side.

“I, uh... I was coming to see why he was gone so long. I figured he might be distracting you from working,” he stuttered out, struggling to regain his bearings at the odd sight.

“Well, he has certainly occupied my attention for longer than I had hoped, though I doubt it could be helped. He seemed quite upset at being away from me for as long as he was. Another side effect of the potion, I’d gather,” he answered, finally untangling himself from Roman.

Roman let out a desperate whine at the loss of contact, looking back at Logan with a hurt expression. “I’m sorry, specs. I just couldn’t stand to be away from you for so long. Without you everything was just so dull and cold, I simply had to be around you again.”

“That’s very sweet, but I need to work. If you would prefer it, I can try to move some of my things to the living room and work there, but you will need to let me focus. Can you do that?”

Roman nodded eagerly in response.

“Good, then please go and get the common room set up for me downstairs and I will join you there shortly,” Logan said, and Roman practically tripped over his own feet as he headed back down the hall, glancing back at Logan and smiling the whole time.

Logan sighed and sat back down in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. He really looked exhausted, and Virgil wondered whether he should stay or leave him be.

“The answer is no, by the way,” Logan groaned, not looking up at him.

“What?”

“No, I haven’t been able to find any cure or antidote to the potion. Remus may very well be trying to fool me, a figurative ‘wild goose chase’, if you will.”

Virgil tried not to look too worried, though he was sure it was obvious anyway. “Okay, do you think I can go and try to get some answers out of him? I could help out, maybe.”

Logan finally glanced up at him, a tired smile on his face. “I’d appreciate that, Virgil. As long as we can restore Roman to his natural, albeit obnoxious, state of mind.”

Virgil nodded, desperate to make this whole nightmare go away. It looked like Logan was feeling pretty fed up with this whole thing, too. Though it was probably for a different reason.

Logan sighed again, glancing away for a moment as if lost in thought. “I can’t exactly say I’ll enjoy that part of our lives returning to normal, though. As overbearing as he can be right now, it is still somewhat pleasant to hear him say something nice about me for a change. Even if he doesn’t really mean it or know what he’s saying at all.” He smiled to himself, as if he had forgotten that Virgil was still in the room with him. When he finally remembered that he wasn’t alone in the room, he straightened up in his chair and started to gather what he would need downstairs.

“It doesn’t really matter, anyway,” he added in a rush. “Roman is not in his right mind at the moment, it is best not to take anything he is saying seriously. He’s allowed to say or feel whatever he wants about me after we cure him. He’s his own person, with his own opinions on the people he’s around, and this will not change any of that.” He herded Virgil out of his room while he carried an armload of supplies and notes, carefully returning to the living room without dropping his things. “If you get any information out of Janus or Remus, let me know.” He called back at him as he left.

 Virgil stayed there in the hall, taking in all that Logan had said. Had Roman really been upsetting him this whole time? Seeing him like this must be unreal to him, finally hearing a compliment from the person who teased him daily, only to know that the flattery was fake? He couldn’t imagine how badly that must hurt for him.

He shivered slightly to himself before going to Janus’ room. What happened between them still hurt years later, but he at least knew how to deal with him. He had dealt with him long enough to recognize the lies from the truth, and he needed answers.

He banged loudly on the door, not letting up until it was finally opened. By Remus, who was in the room with Janus. Great.

“Geez, Virge, the hell is your problem,” he whined. “Did someone swap the stick up your butt with a scorpion or something?”

Janus chuckled from behind him.

“The real question is what the hell is your problem,” he growled. “Why’d you go and do that to Roman, huh? Is this just some sick joke to you?”

“Well, yeah,” he answered, almost proud of himself. “I didn’t plan for it to be Roman that took the potion though, it was all random so whoever had some syrup first would get fucked up.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. It was pretty clear he wouldn’t get a reason out of him. The best he could hope to get would be a cure, or the answer to how to make one.

“Can you just fucking tell me how to get him back to normal?” he pleaded, wincing at the pathetic begging he had reduced himself to. “There’s got to be a cure or antidote or something, and you have to tell me what it is so I can help clean up the mess you started.”

Remus stared right through him, smiling to himself as he kept the answer hidden.

“Alright, Remus, that’s enough,” Janus interrupted, finally joining them and including himself in the standoff. “If he wants the cure so badly, we’ll give it to him.”

Virgil’s shoulders sagged with relief. Maybe now Janus would actually be willing to cooperate and stop playing around with him.

“You see, Virgil, I know the true answer is something you’ll love, so here it is: the solution has been hiding in plain sight all along. It’s been kept secret by the only person who can help him. Show it to him and he’ll remember what the real target of his affection is supposed to be.”

Ok, so maybe not.

“What the hell does that mean?” Virgil groaned in frustration.

“You’ll have to figure it out on your own. After all, I think you already know the answer.”

Janus gave him one last smirk before closing the door on him, the sound of Remus’ laughter echoing from behind it. Well, that didn’t help him at all. What did he mean about it hiding in plain sight? Who was hiding it? And show what to who? Janus said he’d love the truth, but this was just another confusing riddle. It didn’t even make any sense. His best guess was that Remus had hidden an antidote somewhere, but if that was the case then there was no way he’d be able to find it.

God, Roman was screwed.

Virgil stomped back to the couch in a huff, not returning Patton’s friendly wave. He sat down and ran his hands through his hair, desperately trying to make sense of what Janus had said.

“I’m guessing you were unsuccessful,” Logan stated.

Virgil looked over to him and his reply died on his tongue in an instant. Logan was sitting in Roman’s lap, focusing on his findings ever so stoically while Roman held him close with a sappy expression.

“Uhm, not really… sorry, why are you in his lap?” he asked.

Logan looked up at him, no more pleased about the situation than Virgil was. “It was the only way to keep him happy while I focused on my work instead of him,” he explained.

“Hey, that’s not true,” Roman chimed in, squeezing Logan tighter. “I said that you were fine sitting where you were, but when you offered to get all cozy with me I wasn’t gonna complain.”

“Right, because you were complaining before,” Logan replied, “in fact, you were so upset that I wasn’t paying attention to you that you kept trying to sit closer to me until being in your lap like this was inevitable. At least now you’re letting me work uninterrupted.”

Roman looked like he was about to say something in his defense, but he decided against it. He quietly tucked his head into Logan's shoulder instead, humming at the contact.

Logan glanced back at Virgil, avoiding moving his head too much to not disrupt Roman. “Did either of them tell you anything useful?” he asked.

Virgil shook his head. “If he did, I can’t make any sense of it. It was something about the answer hiding in plain sight, and that the only one who’ll help him knows the secret. He said if we show it to him then he’ll remember what he really feels, or something like that.”

Logan sighed. “Well, that was hardly helpful.”

The rest of the day passed in a blur for Virgil. Roman was practically glued to Logan's side, flirting and cuddling with him every chance he got. Patton tried to pretend everything was normal, and Virgil kept replaying what Janus had told him. The cure is hidden away, and one of the sides knows how to use it to help. The only thing is, who the hell is it? Janus and Remus obviously weren’t helping, and Patton and Logan were just as in the dark about it as Virgil was.

“I thought the same thing,” he replied.

Patton made dinner and as everyone ate it became obvious that unless they did something about Roman he was going to be like this for a while. It took Logan moving to sit on the other end of the table for Roman to stop trying to do some Lady and the Tramp bit with him.

Logan had no solutions or cures yet, and Virgil still couldn’t figure out the answer to the riddle that Janus had told him. Janus and Remus decided to stick around after dinner and joined the others for a movie night, presumably just to laugh at how Roman was acting. Roman chased them off halfway through the movie, accusing them of antagonizing Logan. They were actually laughing at how Roman was behaving, but Virgil still appreciated having them gone for the night.

It was now well past time for Virgil to go to bed, but he couldn’t get himself to move from the couch. Everyone else had gone to bed by now, save for Logan and Roman, as the former had still wanted to find a solution and the latter refused to go to bed until he did. Roman was still pressed to Logan's side, idly playing with his hair while he continued to gaze fondly at him as if he had hung the stars in the night sky. Virgil wondered if he looked at Roman like that. He secretly wished Roman would look at him like that. Sometimes he almost thought he did.

It was probably best for him to go to bed before he thought about that too much. He wished the other two goodnight before heading to his room, where he would at least try to pretend to sleep. He closed the door behind him and prepared to wind down for the night when his eyes fell upon the gift Roman had given him. Lightning in a bottle, proof that Roman enjoyed his company.

Virgil stared at the bottle, memories of his time with Roman flashing back to him. Smiles only he would see, countless hours spent in each other’s company, presents and promises shared in private. Roman had shown him the same kindness and care that he is showing Logan now. The way he smiled at Logan was the same as how he smiled and laughed when he was alone with Virgil. The compliments and encouragement were just like the same sweet words they had shared.

That couldn’t be right, he had to be mistaken. That would mean that Roman actually…

He grabbed the bottle and sprinted back to the living room, back to Roman.

Logan looked up at him in surprise when he made it back downstairs, but Virgil didn’t give him a chance to say anything. He had to take care of this before he could overthink it.

“Logan, can you please give me a minute to talk to Roman? Alone?”

Logan quirked an eyebrow, before extricating himself from Roman and wordlessly making his way to bed for the night. Roman was about to follow him, but Logan motioned for him to stay behind. He obeyed, though he looked pained by doing so.

“Virgil, what’s going on?” he asked after Logan left. “Why’d you tell him to leave like that?”

“This is important, okay?” Virgil started. He had no idea what he was doing, or how to do it, but he had to try. He took a seat on the couch next to Roman and held out the bottle. “Do you remember what this is?” he asked.

Roman eyed it curiously, confusion slowly turning into recognition as his eyes brightened up at the memory. “Yeah, that’s right. You went and said you had better luck catching lightning in a bottle than finding someone who liked you, and I wanted to prove a point.”

“And what point was that?”

Roman blinked for a second as he tried to piece it together. “I remember how I wanted to show you that there are people out there that like being around you.”

“Like who?” he prodded, trying to get Roman to verbalize the answer he couldn’t bring himself to admit. “Roman, are you saying that this was because you like me?”

Roman furrowed his brow, as if struggling with some internal conflict. “I know I think highly of you, but it all feels hazy. I can’t put it to words right without losing what I was thinking about. Then I just start thinking of Logan again,” he said, a smile returning to his face at the name.

Virgil stared at him, pieces falling into place at last. “Roman, was it love? Is that what you felt for me? What you have been feeling for me?” he asked, voice stifled with emotion.

Roman looked lost as countless emotions dancing across his face. After a beat he finally answered, voice low. “I think so. It feels right, even though it’s still foggy. But I do think it was love.”

The butterflies returned to Virgil’s stomach with a vengeance, stealing his breath and choking him. He felt electrified and lightweight and breathless and alive all at once, leaving him little room left for rational thought. Roman loved him. He was in love with him.

“I’m in love with you too,” he managed to whisper, confessing it like it was a prayer.

All at once the potions foggy haze in Roman's eyes lifted, swiftly replaced by a hopeful disbelief. A grin slowly formed on his face, that same lovestruck look that he had given Logan in the kitchen. Only now it was being directed at Virgil.

“Virgil… you love me? You actually love me back?”

Virgil didn’t trust himself to speak, only nodding in confirmation.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that,” he said with a breathless laugh.

He pulled Virgil into a tight embrace, hugging him fiercely as Virgil felt his heart skip a beat. Roman loved him back, he loved him and the potion had been cured because of it.

For once Virgil felt completely optimistic, and he knew he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

@britt-ish123 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @keitaisghost @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @new-zee-land @can-i-take-a-stab

[talkingaboutwhatiwant]

Hannibal. The third book in the 4 book series of The Red Dragon, by Thomas Harris. To start, I'll give credit where it's due, the books created our beloved Hannibal Lecter and all media (movies and TV) are based somewhat on his writings. That being said, he really pisses me off sometimes. I have little gripe with the first book, I was expecting to have a lot of Hannibal time and was disappointed, but that didn't last long as it went into detail about our antagonist, one Francis Dolarhyde. The ending felt quite flat and unsatisfying, which also occurred at the end of Silence of the Lambs. Harris throughout Silence does a relatively good job writing from the perspective of Clarice, not giving the typical "woman written by a man", save for giving a love interest at the end without any mention through the book. In Hannibal, Starling goes to the Verger mansion for the first time, and encounters Margot on her way in. While Harris's writing hasn't been censored, something I don't mind especially when reading horror-crime, and Clarice thinks factually with emphasis on her pattern recognition and deduction skills, there is a line that reads somewhat "Clarice wondered if she was on steroids and had to tape her clitoris." . It isn't strange, especially with context, for Clarice to wonder if Margot is on steroids however, the detail regarding her genitals is not only excess, but out of character. While the tone of the writing is clear that this is a quick thought without importance, it simply isn't something Clarice has been shown to find interest in and it makes no sense for her to even give it a moment. Moving forward, over 100 pages into the book and we haven't seen a clear antagonist. While Mason Verger has a lot of potential, Starling has interacted with many a creepy men before. If I were to be going in blind into the series without any background from other media, he would seem very much as a side character, except when we get a short chapter from his point of view. There are several other characters that make Clarice's journey harder, and us as readers view them as an enemy. So, we're a little over 100 pages into the book and we have no antagonist, fine, it's a long book and we have plenty of time. Another issue lies with the absence of Lecter as a primary character. There is one letter from him, and some possible foreshadowing as Clarice reminisces, but other than that, silence. This wouldn't be an issue if the book so far had exciting this happening or a deep dive into anything really, as well as the fact that in the first two books I was craving some quality Hannibal time only to be met with plot or a different character to have quality time with. There is a bit of a parallel in a scene in which Clarice calls Crawford by his first name, similar to the familiarity of Will Graham, as well as showing the readers her progress in the field. It's to be noted that I am only a little over 100 pages in, I'll say it over and over, but there isn't much substance so far to keep me entertained and reading.

Here is a nod to "The Jungle" that made me happy

[pjisskullourful]

ⓢⓐⓥⓘⓝⓖ ⓗⓞⓡⓢⓔⓢ

🎃 Thomas × reader

18+ readers only!! 🔥 sexy smutty explicit halloween schenanigans

° Thomas Raggi/female reader insert

° you want to be the sexiest cowgirl at the halloween party to impress your friend-with-benefits thomas [based october 2024]

wordcount::: 6,542

° requests are soo open! but commissions get priority, secure your spot in my priority list here!

Was it the most inventive and interesting costume at the Halloween party? No. But you had put just as much thought into this outfit as you had with past year’s characters.

A lot of effort had gone toward being the sexiest cowgirl possible. It felt like you had visited every online costume store that the internet had to offer - needing something skimpy, but not too simple, an ensemble that you could feel fashionable in, rather than embarrassed. You had planned out every detail.

But it was all worth it because you had gotten the attention of the one person that you wanted to impress - Thomas.

It had been three months of you being in a friends with benefits arrangement with the guitarist. Securing his attention and keeping his interest felt like a need. It didn’t matter how much time you spent together, you were always craving him.

Everyone else at Ethan’s party felt like a distraction, Thomas approaching you was when your night truly began. He hadn’t gone for a scary costume either. Instead he was wearing a construction workers’ neon orange vest and a pair of baggy jeans. The makeup was the hero of the look, bold, black and covering so much of his face, almost like a mask. Its appearance made you want to laugh as he crossed the room over to you.

“Hey honey.” He said, standing next to you. But he didn’t get too close, not touching you. The fact that you were sleeping with each other was being kept secret, you had both agreed that was the best way to play this, for now.

Even though you knew he wasn’t about to kiss or show you any affection, your heart still fluttered at having him so close. It was all that potential, what you knew just being in his company could lead to.

“Am I the dream guest for your podcast?” You joked in reference to his costume.

“Hell yeah, doll. You will be perfect to help me spice things up.” He said, knowing exactly what you were talking about. He looked amused and you hoped he hadn’t already heard that quote too many times tonight - you wanted him to think you stood out from the crowd.

“Now I know why you wouldn’t tell me what your costume is. Because if I could have, I definitely would have kept you from dressing as Jojo Siwa.” You teased.

“Oh, because she’s a better dancer than me and I couldn’t pull it off?” He assumed.

“No, because she could never dance as well as you.” You said, the flattery made him smile.

His eyes began to move down the front of your body, his attention unwavering despite all of the activity in this room. You had already seen him looking at you and your costume a couple of times tonight, his eyes seeking you out amongst the other party-goers. But now he was getting a proper look and he seemed to be savouring it.

“You look amazing.” He said, yet to bring his gaze back up to your face. You considered that he could be trying to count every black patch of your leotard’s cow print.

“Yeah, you like it?” You asked, giving the matching hat a little adjustment.

He stepped in a little closer and lowered his voice. “I love it, doll. You know how into the whole country and western aesthetic I am. And the way you’re doing it is setting a new fuckin’ standard, it’s never looked so good.”

You could feel how flushed your cheeks had become and you were smiling widely at him. “You’re very sweet, thank you.”

He licked his lips, now close enough that you could smell his combination of cologne and cigarettes. “Do you want to know which part is my favourite?”

“Yes, please.” You said and your voice didn’t have the same conversational tone that you had used when talking with your other friends tonight.

“Your lasso.” He said, brushing his fingers against where the prop rope was attached to your belt. “That’s a nice detail.”

“I’m glad you like it.” You said.

With enough concentration, you could see past the bizarre makeup that surrounded both of his eyes, seeing the actual expression here. There was a sparkle in the warm hazel, something you had seen in the past when he was behaving cheekily. That was the look that he got when he was going to steer a regular conversation into innuendo.

“Can I?” He asked, even though he was already taking the prop off of your belt.

Now he stopped looking at you, concentrating on what he was doing as he unwound the rope. You didn’t know what he was about to do, but he had your full attention.

“When we’ve been in America, I have gotten the chance to hang out with real cowboys- people who own farms, have ridden a horse in the past twenty-four hours type. And I guess they like my enthusiasm because they’re always really nice to me, they’ve even taught me a few things.” He said as he created a loose loop with the rope.

“Like how to ride a mechanical bull.” You said. He had been quite proud to show you that footage, it was a skill he liked to surprise people with.

He threaded the tail of the rope through the knot he had just made. “Right. Probably they just like the way a tourist’s mind can be blown by what is so normal to them.” He secured the large loop with another knot. “One of the other things they’ve shown me is how to make and throw a proper, functioning lasso.

“It’s pretty much useless for me to know, ‘cause when am I ever around animals that need to be wrangled?” He said with a little laugh. You were enjoying watching his hands work, you knew how skilled his fingers were, memories tickling you at their movements. “But it’s a cool party trick.”

“Definitely, I had no idea you were so good with ropes.” You said, blushing when he looked at you. Neither of you had to say anything suggestive to change the tone of your comment, the suggestion was already there.

He smirked. “Pet, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

He started to show you a trick, getting the rope and its loop into motion. He held the length slack and got the loop parallel to the floor, then with a working of his wrist, he got the lasso to twirl in the air.

“That’s so cool. Will you teach me some of your tricks?” You asked.

“Let me show you the best one.” He said and he started to lift his hand above his head.

He held the lasso at the end of the shank and twisted his wrist in a continuous movement. The loop swung and twirled off to the side of his head, not touching his hair. He could maintain this smooth momentum, even as he took some careful steps back from you.

“Can you take your hat off for me?” He asked and you did it immediately, holding the wide-brimmed hat in front of your chest.

You were smiling at him, already so impressed. You were confident that he could do this, then what would he do once you were captured by his rope? He got a little further away, giving the lasso some quick glances, but mostly looking at you.

Then his stance changed, it seemed like he wasn’t going to put any more distance between you. He got his feet planted firmly, at shoulders’ width. You tried to not move and you could tell he was visualising his throw.

“Thomas Raggi!” Ethan’s loud voice suddenly halted everything. “You are not about to start throwing rope around inside of my home.”

Thomas let the rope go limp but he didn’t give it back to you. “What, why not? I haven’t knocked anything. I know what I’m doing, I can do it safely.”

Ethan was dressed as Beetlejuice, but he found a way to look very serious as he came over. “No way, you’ll bump a glass out of someone’s hand or you’ll hit something breakable. There’s a whole yard out there, take it outside.”

“Yes, mother.” Thomas sarcastically replied. He started to gather up the rope and he made a gesture for you to accompany him, which you were more than happy to do. “We’ll play outside where we can’t break your favourite vase.”

“You better.” Ethan warned, playing along now. “Or you’re gonna find out just how much of a bitch karma can be.”

Thomas laughed this off as he started toward the backdoor. You kept up with him, not paying much attention to the other party-goers as you passed them.

There were a couple of groups hanging out on the veranda. But you and Thomas were the only ones to walk down the stairs, onto the grass. It was a little more alone with him than you had been before.

“You’re gonna lasso me, right?” You asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s my plan and it was going to be all cool and sexy before we got interrupted.”

You gave him a very quick kiss on his cheek as you both stopped walking, out of earshot of anyone else. “It’s still going to be sexy.”

He smiled and he started to straighten the rope, the lasso was still secured. You took some more steps ahead of him, putting about a metre between you. You turned to face him, your hat held at your side.

He raised the hand holding the rope above his head. He looked up as he began to swing the lasso, checking his technique as he picked up speed.

When he looked back at you, you could see how hard he was concentrating. You hadn’t planned for this, but it felt nice to have so much of his focus on you. It only added to the whole experience that you found his concentrating face so sexy (despite the purposefully ridiculous makeup).

He waited for the right moment and briefly released the rope, letting the loop glide through the air toward you. He had judged the momentum correctly and the lasso fell over you. Your head and shoulders passed through his loop, before the rope rested around your chest.

You looked up, grinning as he pulled the length of the rope taut. “Are you serious? You made that look so easy.” He wore a bashful kind of smile as he started to gather the rope up, forcing you to step toward him. “That’s so cool.”

“It just takes practice.” He said, continuing to bring you closer. “And with enough of it, even someone as uncoordinated as me can do something kinda impressive.”

You only had eyes for him as he guided you across the distance between you. Your heartbeat was more noticeable in your chest and your mind was quite quickly getting populated with ideas. You were still smiling widely as you stepped into the space directly in front of him.

Your eyes went to his lips (how long had it been since you had tasted them?). Then your interest went to his hands, watching how his fingers manipulated the rope.

“I’m a big fan of that trick.” You said.

He took the hat out of your hands so that he could return it to your head. “Then it was worth learning just to impress the world’s prettiest cowgirl.”

You licked your lips, forgetting the rest of the party as you kept staring at him. “What if I wanted you to keep me tied up?”

“This wouldn’t be the right rope for that, doll.” He said, his voice low and evoking memories of intimacy. “It’s fine to be part of your costume, I’m not critiquing that. But this type of rope is too abrasive.” He rubbed some of it against your bare skin to help make his point. “It would be okay at first. But then it would start to irritate, and maybe even hurt your skin.” He stopped moving the rope against you and you found the feeling of his fingers on your skin to be immediately superior. “Restraining someone in a way that’s pleasurable and safe takes a special type of bondage rope.”

“I had no idea.” You admitted.

This wasn’t the first time he had been able to best you with his knowledge of all things kink - you doubted it would be the last instance. Before him, you had never experienced the dynamic of a dominant and submissive. He was far more adventurous than any of your past partners, introducing you to so many new things.

But he never teased you over what you didn’t know. Instead of laughing at you, he loved teaching you. He fed your curiosity and you were wonderfully rewarded for each question you brought to him.

“That’s okay. It’s the kind of thing people learn through mistakes, but now you don’t have to make the same one.” He said.

You weren’t making any attempts to free yourself from his lasso. “Where does someone get this special type of rope from?”

“I got most of mine from online stores.” He said. “Would my plaything like to feel the difference for herself?”

Instantly you were nodding your head. “Yes. Yes please, I would love that.”

He licked his lips as he smiled. “Okay, let’s get out of here.”

“You don’t mind leaving the party so soon?” You asked as he began undoing the knots of the lasso.

“Nah, you’re the only person that I really wanted to spend time with tonight anyway.” He replied.

… … …

“You have to take that makeup off, Thomas.” You had delivered this request to him in every possible phrasing, repeating yourself countless times during the drive to his home.

But he still pretended to be surprised to hear it, just to mess with you. “Aren’t you gonna kiss me?”

“Not while that shit is on your face.” You wore a smile even as you protested.

You were leading the way into his home. Thanks to how frequently you visited here, you had the layout completely memorised. It was all so familiar to you that you instantly felt comfortable.

He finished locking the door and rushed to catch up with you. “What if I cover your eyes?” He blocked your vision with one of his hands. “Then you don’t even have to see it.”

You giggled and pushed his arm away. “Not good enough, I would know it’s there and it would distract me. I’m not gonna be able to get truly turned on while you’re looking like a Try Not to Cringe challenge thumbnail.”

He sighed. “Alright, it’s coming off. Just for you, I’m gonna wipe all this off.”

“Thanks.”

“Meet me in the bedroom, baby.” He said and he pressed a fast kiss to your cheek before beginning in a different direction to you. “And don’t get too used to giving me orders.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You said.

You progressed to the master bedroom and went for a lamp that you knew provided flattering lighting. Instead of placing yourself on the unmade bed straight away, you started to remove your costume. You took off your boots and the cow print arm warmers. You created a neat little pile for all of it. But you didn’t remove the hat - it still appealed to you, even if it didn’t perfectly match the lacy lingerie that you wore.

He was in a room too far for you to hear exactly what he was doing, it was all just vague background sounds as you tried to pick the best way to pose for his arrival. You placed your knees on the mattress, sitting up as you watched the doorway that you faced.

When he walked into your sight, you were pleased to see the makeup was gone, so was the overly-bright vest he had been wearing. There were no more distractions. You saw him as just Thomas, which was the sole thing you desired.

“Is it too cheesy if I say something like: giddy up?” You asked.

As he approached the bed, his eyes repeatedly appraised your body in an up-and-down motion. “Here’s the thing about me: I love cheese, calling something cheesy is not a negative to me.” He placed his hands to your hips and you could finally fully enjoy his touch, no longer worrying about who could see.

“Also, you look so fucking good that you can say anything and I’ll think it sounds fantastic.” He said, his hold on you firm as he started to lean in.

You grinned as you linked your arms around his neck. You tilted your head to keep the hat’s brim from getting in the way, and your mouths met.

You melted into the kiss, it was a relief to no longer hold yourself back. He wrapped an arm around you and you arched your back to press yourself firmly against him. Your bare skin met his and the only scent in your nostrils belonged to him.

You tightened your arms around him and started to lean back. You took him with you as you reclined back to the mattress. You kept on kissing him, your lips touched by the moisture of his mouth.

You laid your back flat on the bed and he readjusted to accommodate you. He braced himself with his knees on the bed, his body hovering over yours.

“Mmn, baby…” You moaned, elated by the feeling of his hips pressing into yours.

“You are just so sexy. You’ve done a lot, a lot of great costumes. You’re fantastic at Halloween, you know you are. But this is my favourite.” He said, pausing to give you more kisses. “I absolutely love it, baby.”

You smiled as he started to trail his lips down your neck. “I’m glad you think it’s so great…” You let your fingernails drag across his exposed back. “I wore it to impress you.”

He quickly lifted his head, eyebrows raised as he looked at you. “You did it to- what?” He smiled, it was wide and honest. “Really?”

“Yeah. I had a lot of different ideas, there were some spooky costumes that I thought could be cool- we can go through the Pinterest board I made later, if you want.” You said. “But then I thought that you would like this and I just locked in on the idea.”

“That's so sweet. Are you kidding me? You're so cute, I just-” He seemingly didn't have the words to finish this sentence, so he kissed you instead.

You felt butterflies in your belly as you kissed him back. You felt so valued as his lips lingered on yours.

Your night was concluding in the perfect manner and when you felt him writhing against you, you instantly moved with him. 

“Now it’s definitely my favourite costume you’ve ever worn.” He said, making you giggle. A crinkle formed on the bridge of your nose as the smile on your face endured. “It’s a really sweet gesture.” He brushed the backs of his fingers against your cheek. “So I’m just all on your mind like that?”

“Yeah, it happens a lot.” You admitted, blushing.

“You’re a really good girl.” He said, his expression becoming more serious. Then he snatched the hat from your head and sat up, out of your embrace. He placed the hat on top of his shaggy hair. “Now, are you gonna be a good student while I teach you a thing or two about ropes?”

“I’m ready to learn.” You said.

He got to his feet, walking across the room. You watched his every step as he went to the wardrobe. He slid its door open, then crouched down, going for a lower compartment.

He returned to the mattress with four separate bundles of rope in his hands. He offered these to you and you took a black bundle. “Unwind it, I want you to feel the difference in quality. They’re made from totally different materials.”

You did as instructed, letting the length of rope unfold. But you found your attention wavering when he emptied his hands so he could undo the fly of his jeans. You hardly acknowledged the rope passing between your fingers because you were so focused on the fact that his underwear was black. He pushed the denim down and you saw how the front of the briefs were stretched by his erection.

He simply stepped out of the pants and then picked up one of the rope bundles. “You see, it’s so much softer, right?”

“Not from my point of view.” You said, fixing your eyes on his dick.

He saw where your attention laid and he laughed, before prompting you to look up by putting his fingers underneath your chin. “Come on little slut, it’s time to concentrate.”

You smiled, working your fingers on the rope some more. “It’s definitely smoother, I like how it feels more.”

“Yeah, this is designed to feel comfortable on your skin for, like, hours.” He said, pulling any twists out of the rope. “Do you think you could handle it?”

You handed your rope over to him. “There’s only one way to find out.”

He briefly bent down to kiss you. “Alright, I think that lingerie should come off now. As sexy as it looks, I don’t want it to get in my way later.”

“Sure.” You said, immediately unclasping your bra. You removed these last items then sat back down on his bed, completely exposed for his every whim.

“I need you to tell me the second that it feels like some part of your body might be going numb. We can’t mess with your blood’s circulation, it’s actually super serious.” He said.

You held his gaze as you nodded. “Okay, I’ll take it seriously.”

“Thank you.” He said. “Now, bring your legs up and just fold them in front of your chest, with your feet still on the bed.” You repositioned your legs, but he provided extra guidance by putting a hand on your knee to move it away from the other. “Now, now toy, do you really think I want your legs together?”

You smiled and kept your thighs apart. You felt a little flutter in your pussy as he thoroughly looked you over.

“Much better.” He said. “Is that comfortable for you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Great.” He said and he sat down at your side, the black rope ready between his hands. “I’m gonna start like this.”

He folded the rope in half before beginning a loop around your ankle. Then he wrapped the rope around your thigh too. He gave it a bit of security by feeding the ends through the two strands, pulling and letting you feel the first hints of tension. It excited you and you licked your lips, watching as his work continued.

He wrapped the rope around more times, creating firm bands that would keep your leg in this bent position. Once he was satisfied with the amount of loops, he threaded the tails through the strands again.

You marvelled at the quickness of his hands, his fingers too fast for you to properly follow. It reminded you of when you watched him play guitar - all you could do was admire because you were seeing something you would never be able to replicate. He was an undeniable master.

He created a couple of knots, then took his hands away. The rope remained in place, still feeling just as tight. He looked at you and you showed him a smile.

“How does that feel, baby?” He asked.

“It’s good.”

“Yeah, would you like me to tie the other side?”

“Yes, please.”

He gave you an all-too-quick kiss, then got up and relocated himself to the opposite side of your body. He had a new length of rope in hand, which was doubled over before he wrapped it around your ankle.

“What is this position called?” You asked.

He smirked. “It’s not named anything sexy- this is crab. But don’t worry, you look so much better than that sounds.”

“Wow, thanks.” You sarcastically replied.

He copied what he had done on the other side, restraining this leg just as easily. You were now entirely immobile.

“Some people would say this is done now, full crab has been achieved.” He said. “But there’s another part I want to do. It involves your arms, are you down for that?”

Eagerly, you nodded, you were practically desperate to know how it felt to go all the way like that. You were looking forward to saying that you had tried shibari, with the knowledge that you had fully tried it. This wasn’t going to be a half-hearted attempt.

“I’m definitely down for that, baby.” You said.

“Brilliant. Can you line your wrist up with the binds on your thigh?” He asked.

You placed your wrist against the outside of your thigh as he untied a new rope bundle. He created secure bands around your wrist quickly.

“I’m not the only one who was enjoying your costume at the party.” He said, affixing your hand with his knots.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Do the same with your other hand.” He said as he switched sides. “I’m talking about other people checking you out. You looked damn sexy and people were noticing, you had a lot of eyes on you. Especially your ass, the little booty shorts looked so good. You didn’t see any of the stares?”

“Stares? Why would anybody stare at me? I'm not calling you a liar, but…”

“Did you not hear what I just said? Your ass, the whole sexy costume.” He said.

You were blushing as you shook your head. “I didn't see anybody checking me out. Well, aside from you.”

“Yeah.” He said, making the knots to secure your other hand. “There were a lot of people seeing how fine you are. But I'm the only one who gets to see you like this.”

“That's right, baby.” You said.

He got to his feet and stood beside the bed, looking you up-and-down. His eyes lingered in certain spots and the pleased look on his face made your heart beat faster.

“Is that comfortable?” He asked.

Your balance remained intact, your weight distributed between your feet and ass. It wasn't too far from a regular sitting position and you didn't see why you couldn't maintain it. “Yeah, it's good.”

“Yeah?” He leaned in and you longed to tug down his underwear, it should have been within your capabilities. “Do you wanna get fucked like this?”

“Dying for it.” You said.

He smiled as he bent down a little, giving you a kiss. He didn't linger like you wanted him to. You kept your eyes closed for a moment longer, looking when you heard the sigh of a drawer opening. He picked out a condom and turned back to you.

He finally shed his underwear, then covered his cock with the latex. Then he was back to directly in front of you and you were liberated from the wait for more kisses. He cradled your face in his hands as your mouths crushed together. You drew him in for deeper kisses, sucking on his top lip. It was the only way you could properly express yourself. Trying to wiggle yourself forward on your butt couldn’t get you as close as you wanted to be.

He helped to bring your bodies closer together, doing the work that you couldn’t. He leaned into you, letting you feel his skin on yours. You arched your back, trying to press more of yourself against him - feeling him was your only goal and it consumed you.

Your tongue glided between his lips, exploring greater intimacy. He grabbed one of your hips with his hand as his body settled against yours more. You made the most of what you had because it didn’t seem like he was about to join you on the bed. You massaged your tongue against the roof of his mouth.

He pressed his dick against you, prompting you to realise how perfectly your genitals lined up. He steadily rocked his hips, rubbing his length on you. The movements didn’t need to be hurried, it was enough to get your heart beating faster at this promising start.

He tilted his pelvis and you soon felt his tip spreading your pussy open. He broke away from the kiss with a gasp as he eased his length deeper. He held your chin in his hand as you listened to how much he was losing breath. You kept your eyes shut, noticing this new pressure building in you.

“Oh, it’s good. It’s so, so, so good.” He whispered as he gradually filled more into you. “That pussy is so fucking good, toy.”

You could only whimper in response as you were feeling your excitement reaching you on a new level. Your pussy fluttered as it adjusted to having him inside.

Your lips found his again, kissing and sucking a little in your neediness. He worked to catch up with you, tapping into your impassioned rhythm.

He shifted his stance, resting one of his knees on the bed beside you. On his next thrust he could move in deeper, prompting you to moan directly into his mouth.

He let you feel hints of a tempo as he experimented with his range of motion, seeing what he could do without losing his balance. More of your moisture slicked him with his every movement.

Then he hit onto the consistency, working into you with far less pausing. His swiftness reduced your time to recover and you could feel how everything was starting to build up.

You got invested in his rhythm, eager to discover what it could give you next, so you started to move with him. Your balance didn’t feel as certain, but you liked the enhanced friction too much to want to stop. It was a minimal pumping of your hips but you could time it to match his plunges forward and let him finish at a deeper point of your cunt.

You writhed with him, the feeling of his body rubbing on yours proved to be the only thing you needed to think about. You savoured every second of it and it felt just as thrilling as it had on that first night.

The synchronisation of your bodies was somewhat fumbled when you began to fall back. There wasn’t any way for you to pull yourself out of this momentum and he did nothing to save you from gravity.

You reached the mattress with a gasp, feeling the restrictions of the binds so completely. You squirmed a little, trying to figure out your next move, what could you possibly do? You lifted your head so you could look down at him.

Before you had to make any decisions, he slammed his cock all the way into you. Your thought process instantly evaporated and you saw the determined look on his face. He grabbed at the ropes on one of your thighs and fucked into you again, then slowly dragged his dick back.

Your chest swelled as you felt a little like melting in response to the hungry pace that he was setting up. You felt him hit your g-spot. You felt his balls slapping against your butt. Your head fell back as you welcomed the complete loss of your composure.

You heard his ragged breathing as he seemingly gave all of his energy to each buck. You found it a little easier to move with him now, tensing your back and lifting your hips according to his speedy pace until it felt like your whole body was on fire. Your hands curled into fists and you paid into the exertion every time.

“Fuck, Tommy…” You strained through gritted teeth.

Getting closer to the edge, you had to work to keep your grinding consistent. Now your cunt was spasming and there were uncontrollable twitches through your body. But you were desperate to stick with him.

“Are you still liking it, darling? You still like being bound?” He asked.

Your toes curled as you glided your hips up. “I love it.” Your throat tightened, changing the sound of your voice. “I've never felt more like your plaything.”

“Because that's what you are.” He said through heavy breaths.

His flow couldn’t be interrupted by your unpredictable twitches, he was locked into these jolts. He kept his grip on the ropes, using this to continuously yank you forward on his dick, meaning you were always exactly where he needed.

“I might keep you tied up.” He said. “That way I can keep fucking you over…” He lost his smoothness, adding emphasis to his words with rough thrusts into you. “...and over and over and over.”

You sputtered wordlessly, on the verge of being ruined. Your nerves were on fire and the sensitivities were now ruling your body, completely inescapable.

“Fuck, I can feel that you’re getting close.” He said.

“Yeah, really fucking close, Tommy.” You said, so receptive to his movements in your elevated state.

He eased off ever so slightly. “Hold it for me. Can you?” You groaned and bit into your bottom lip. “Can you try? There’s another position I wanna do while you’re tied like this.”

It took effort for you to draw in a deep breath, then you nodded. “Alright.”

He pulled out and you tried to use this time to pull yourself back together, at least a little. More deep breaths came as your heart rate grew less irregular.

Thankfully he didn’t require you to make any moves, because you didn’t have the strength or coordination for that. He did all of the work for you, climbing up onto the mattress and putting his hands on you. He turned you around, your head in the direction of the headboard now. Then he began to tip you onto your side.

“You trust me, right?” He asked, the calculated look on his face telling you that he was planning the next move.

You laughed. “We wouldn’t have gotten this far into the whole tying up thing if I didn’t trust you.”

“True.” He said. He gave you another gentle push, getting you onto your front. “Is that comfortable?”

“Um…” There was a decent amount of pressure on your legs now, and your head was too far to allow you to rest it down.

“Hang on, hang on.” He said, rushing to make some adjustments.

He succeeded at getting you into a slightly different (but definitely improved) position. Your weight was transferred to your chest, which now rested on the mattress. Your ass was lifted into the air, a curve in your back.

“That’s good.” You said.

“Yeah, I’m liking it a lot, too.” He said, caressing your ass. “But you can just tell me if it starts getting uncomfortable.”

You rested your cheek on the mattress, angling your head so that you could have him in your field of vision. “Do I need to keep delaying my orgasm?”

“What?” He asked before he paused for a moment. “Oh, no. You can have that whenever you feel it coming on.”

You smiled as you felt him moving around behind you. “Thanks, baby.”

He touched and held your body in different spots.

Then you felt his skin pressed flush to yours as he got himself to exactly the right position. You were pleased when he didn’t waste any more time, just going straight to burying his dick inside of you. The lust brought so much heat and weakness back into your body.

Shutting your eyes allowed you to see glittering stars as he started to move. He pushed himself into your ass, then lingered before starting a new pump of his hips.

You writhed back into him, delighting in how those sensitivities returned to their earlier height. You could feel how close you were to completely melting into your climax.

It didn’t take much more for you to reach that peak, his perfect tempo giving you the ultimate stimulation. Your noises got louder, moans ripping free from your throat. You felt one of his hands grab for yours and you immediately latched onto it, squeezing as the rest of your body seemed to dissolve.

“Oh my guh-...” You rasped as you were taken over.

“You did so well, doll. Oh, you did so well.” He said, his voice keeping you from getting totally detached from reality.

You were still feeling like you were floating in this dreamy state of satisfaction when he started to move again. Between your sensitive walls, he jerked his cock, becoming more determined. This kept you whimpering and squirming.

“Oh fuck, fuck.” He said as he got into a speedy rhythm, which would keep you from recovering any time soon. “Fuh-uh… uh…” 

He powered into you with the last of his energy, then the climax claimed him. He rocked a little, but then the momentum ran out and he was still, leaning into your body.

“Mmn, did that feel as good as it sounded, babe?” You asked.

“Fuck yes, it did.” He said before giving your butt some playful pats. “Giddy up.”

You giggled at this, tingles shooting through your body, even as he began to pull out. He rocked himself back, no longer providing additional pressure on your body. You heard his heavy panting as he tried to catch his breath.

“Let me untie you, then I've got some spooky candy we can have.” He said.

You tried to help as he got you turned around, returning you to lying on your back. As he worked at undoing the binds, he checked in with you, asking how you were feeling or if anything hurt. You had no negatives to share.

It felt good to stretch and move your limbs about as you wished. You were quick to turn around, wanting to see him properly again. The hat had fallen off his head at some point and he didn't bother to pick it back up. When your eyes met, he smiled at you and your heart fluttered subtly.

“Are you okay, honey?” He asked.

“Uh-huh, yeah, okay is an understatement.” You said, making him chuckle. When you started to lay down, you could feel that your energy was much lower than before. But your body was still so warm as the lust echoed through it. “You are really good with rope.”

“I’ll show you more another time, yeah? You're fun to tie up.” He said. Instead of lying down with you, he reached onto the bedside table and picked up a bag full of something, ripping it open. You were presented with a small chocolate bar before he tore into his own.

“And how is this spooky?” You asked.

He lifted the bag for you to see its packaging. “There's a spider on the packet here, isn't that so terrifying?”

“Not as scary as Jojo Siwa.” You said and he laughed as he settled back onto the pillow next to where your head was lying. “You would only have to ask and I would wear other, much sluttier costumes for you.”

»»————-　♡　————-««  

🍑taglist: @gr8rainbowpunk - @idyllicbutterfly - @maneskindiva - @maneslut - @saschenkaaa - @slavicgoddess13 - @elvirabelle - @maneskintifoso - @thegeminisgirl - @ha-la-ansia - @butkutee - @ursulalurks - @itsmaneskinbitch - @icarodamiano - @crwnnjules - @paralianeyes - @fand0mskullfa1ry - @lizzylynch1 - @kammerstx - @myleftsock - @tellmesomething01 - @adoredamianos - @vittoriaisfuckingpathetic - @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis - @shinshans - @lonnybunnys - @lyricalliz - @chemical-killjoy [join here!]