#he had horace and the flames

[tabl3]

this is cute despite it being a random background thing

poor boy must be so confused by having adult figures of parental age that are kind to him lol

[yallthemwitches]

The Sound of Silence

Minerva always had a soft spot for Potter. Maybe that's why when it was time to choose a Head Boy alongside Lily Evans, he was was clearly the only option--- A series of vignettes of James and Lily's seventh year through McGonagall's POV.

AN: Posting this one a day early because I won't have time tomorrow (sorry) Written for Jily Week 2024, Day 5: Matchmaker (hosted by @kay-elle-cee and @sunshinemarauder)...Fully dedicate this one to the many teacher meetings I've sat through where we all devolve into gossiping about students. AO3 Link Here

I.

They sat around a circular table which always reminded Minerva of a story she heard as a child. Her colleagues had shuffled in slowly, still rosy with summer and the ever rejuvenating feeling of silence after a school years worth of endless noise. 

Filius sat next to her, pulling out a pipe and stoking it with a flame emitted from his short stubby finger. He sighed and a puff of smoke wafted into the middle of the table. 

“Here we are again—” he said to no one in particular. Minerva just clasped her hands on the table and waited for the final stragglers to trickle in.

Albus sat on the other side of the sphere and regarded his staff with half-amusement. Many of them had been long friends—giving centuries of their lives to the school. How many powerful witches and wizards had they watched slip out of these doors with their collective spirit within them? If the thought wasn’t so saccharine, Minerva would have perhaps felt a little proud. 

Albus cleared his throat and the staff settled. At this point they needed no commencement speech on why they all were called from their little parts of the castle to assemble, nor did they want one. The golden rule was short meetings were the best ones.

Horace spoke first. He always did. 

“Obviously I think there’s no arguing that Lily Evans should be the first pick.”

There was a rumble of agreement. Even Filius made a reluctant nod. He never willingly wanted to agree with Horace on much of anything.

“That’s a fine choice Horace, but are you not worried about the matter of her blood status? I’m sure you are not ignorant of the current news and I can imagine your house is quite…vocal about these happenings.”

McGonagall heard a snort from Filius which was hard to miss seeing as it bounced his whole body slightly off his chair. 

“Oh, Albus, must we always make these things so political,” Horace whined, “Evans is a brilliant witch…the best of her year—I’m sure we can—we can—” He teetered off, not knowing how to finish. It wasn’t a secret that despite his affinity for the muggleborn, his house was not so keen to accept her. They all would be idiots to disregard the dangers of putting someone of her status in charge in the current climate. 

But Albus didn’t press further. It was never his nature. “Then it’s settled. Lily Evans is Head Girl.” There was another mumbled agreement. Horace’s face was pink and slightly sweaty, but he nodded all the same.

“So onwards to—” 

There was a shuffle of teachers. Sybill spoke first:

“Oh, Oh! I choose the Delile boy. His tea leaves have always shown potential.” A couple seats down, Pomona snorted. 

“Colin Delile? That boy tried to eat a handful of nightshade thinking it was mint last year—”

“Well, I vote for Ambroise Cunningham: smart, good quidditch player (“mediocre quidditch player,” Minerva thought) and has a good head on his shoulders!” Interjected Rolanda.

There were some nods in agreement but Filius started to tut. 

“Are you all forgetting that Cunningham and Evans dated two years ago? They’ll kill each other!”

“Oh, I would hardly call that dating,” Horace scoffed.

“They certainly looked like they were dating when I found them in the charms broom closet that October!” Filius shot back. 

He had a point. She wouldn’t call Filius her friend per se but she had a fond appreciation for him being insightful when it came to the students’ lives. He was very discreet, perhaps with the help of his size, but he always was up to date on each of their lives. 

Minerva mulled a thought around for a minute while drowning out the verbal quidditch that was occurring for the rest of the staff. It was a gamble, certainly. But she had never been the one to shy away from a challenge. 

Raising her voice above the riffraff she called out, “I say James Potter should be Head Boy.”

The room went silent. Around the table, every set of eyes peered at her with mixtures of shock.

Chaos erupted. 

“Potter can’t keep himself out of detention to save his life,” screamed Aurora.

“That and his little group were growing muggle drugs in the west greenhouses!” Pomona chimed in. 

Albus didn’t even try to get order. He just continued to stare at her with an expression that twinkled beyond the room.

Minerva huffed. “Well, can any of you deny that he is brilliant?” Everyone paused. A wave of indecision rushed through the group. 

“And we know he’s a good leader. The Gryffindor team has won every year since he became captain.” Horace grumbled something under his breath but she ignored it. 

“---And, we are going to need someone who is willing to help, Hecate forbid, if there is an attack of some sort due to all this Dark Lord bunk. He might be scrappy and a fool sometimes, but he’d be able to hold his ground for the others.”

There was a hesitant noise of agreement around the table. People shifted in their seats, not able to find fault in her logic but also not enjoying its outcome. 

“And what about Evans then?” Horace had his arms crossed against his chest. “Potter has been tormenting the poor girl for years. They would be rubbish, absolute rubbish—”

“Ah, shut it Horace,” Filius scoffed, “We all know those two have been clouding up this school with sexual tension for a better half of a year now.” More nods all around. 

Minerva had hoped that no one would make the romance argument, but it couldn’t be helped. Potter and Evans had been making all of their lives unbearable, with their oblivious pining and rowing. It was like watching an ouroboros eat itself the way the two provoked each other. There was a small part of her that even hoped that matching the two together would end their purgatory. 

“Ah, the ancient magic of young love,” Albus mused to himself, stroking his beard. “I won’t deny that I like the idea. Are there…any others who seriously denounce the decision to make Potter Head Boy?”

Horace made a few grumbles, but ultimately kept quiet. He knew once Albus made a decision, he wasn’t easy to sway. 

“Then it’s settled, Lily Evans and James Potter.”

“Hecate help us,” Pomona mumbled under her breath. 

II. 

She watched as they shifted next to each other uncomfortably. Both of them dawned golden badges with encrusted initials on them that looked too heavy to be pinned to their robes. She had honestly expected more hiccups on the first day back, but something had already seemed to have shifted between them. Evans actually smiled when Potter offered her some dessert, took it from him and blushed when their hands grazed. She said something and James let out a laugh that made her smile as well. 

“Now, that’s interesting.” Filius whistled, sitting next to her at the great banquet. “Maybe your little matchmaking stunt was unneeded.” He side-eyed her and she didn’t entertain his amusement.

She looked back at the young couple. Potter had begun to explain something with extreme animation. He waved his hands around and Lily actually laughed at his antics. When he finally finished whatever he was saying, his hand rested on the bench between them and Minerva swore she saw Evans place hers on top of his.

“Oh Merlin, what have I done.”

III. 

“I think we have Miss Evans to thank for his rehabilitation. That girl can do anything,” Horace chortled at lunch a week later. 

“What are you talking about? He blew up the Slytherin bathroom just yesterday.”

“Well—he would have done it six more times already if it wasn’t for her influence!”

No one could argue that there was a great change between the two Heads. Horace wasn’t wrong, Potter was being better behaved this year and in turn Evans had started to cozy up to him more and more. Even at that moment, they entered the great hall together. Potter had both of their bags slung over his shoulder and his eyes were glued to her. As they sat, Evans pulled his glasses off in a fuss, cast a cleaning charm on them, then put them back on his face. Her hand lingered to push some of his unruly hair away and he made a dopey swooning smile. 

“It's like watching a dead body be reanimated,” Filius nodded towards the two. 

“You’re being dramatic.” 

“Don’t act like you aren’t seeing this. At this rate they’ll be married by graduation.”

She looked over again. They were sitting so close that their shoulders were touching. Black was engaging them in conversation with a lively reenactment of some muggle movie they had watched, but the couple seemed to be hardly listening. Slowly, like attempting to touch fire, Evans leaned her head onto James shoulder—slightly hovering it in indecision for a moment before putting her weight fully on his. Potter perked up, then dared to place an arm around her waist.

Filius let out a low whistle. Horace moaned.

“I was really hoping she would get with one of the Black boys..” Horace mumbled, “ blood purity aside, I do think they would be better suited…”

But he got cut off by Pomona who came half sprinting down the table. 

“Are you seeing this?? Potter! Evans!” 

VI. 

Christmas break was already upon them, which meant all of the professors were stretched too thin to think. Heads of house always had the worst of it. On one hand that meant she didn’t have to see Horace chortling around the castle half as much, but on the other she now had the Gryffindor house and the two Head students to preside over. As she walked, she mumbled to herself about how she would never offer up a Gryffindor into the Head position again. 

She mounted the stone steps towards the Heads’ office, trying to balance all the rolled parchments in her arms. Entering the small elaborate passage, she could see the light of the office was on. 

As she approached the image of them became more clear. Potter was elongated over the couch with his feet dangling lazily over the edge of the armrest. Evans laid between his splayed legs and over his torso. Using her forearms, she propped up on his chest and seemed to be drawing small circles into his shirt. Potter fiddled with her hair, twisting it through his fingers as though it was a snitch evading being caught. 

They spoke in low tones so she could hardly make out what they were saying. Potter said something to make her laugh tinkle into the cavernous room before tugging lightly on her to become eye level. Minerva watched with a sinking feeling as her two Head students locked lips, and proceeded to not break away from each other for a long time. 

She stood there in the passage, feeling a bit sorry for herself for being in this position: busy, overworked, trying to teach a class while helping Albus get a counterforce together...and now apparently being too sheepish to tell her Head Students to stop snogging long enough to take some of the work off her hands. 

With a little shriek from Evans, Potter flipped them over so he was now hovering over her while a hand disappeared somewhere Minerva did not want to guess. Admitting a sort of defeat, she spun on her heel and left the way she came. 

V.

The morning of the last day of school started like all of the other 200 times she’d done it. She woke up, made herself some tea, shifted into her cat form and curled around her bedroom window. 

A knock rattled the door. She lifted her head and hoped that whoever was bothering her would take the hint. Another set of knocks, and distinctly not Albus’ typical rap. She did a cat’s equivalent of a sigh and changed herself human again. 

She opened the door to find Potter looking out of breath and somewhat sheepish. Not a good start. 

“Good morning Minnie,” he beamed at her. 

“Mr. Potter, can I help you? It’s 6am…”

Potter ran a hand through his hair. On a glance over he looked suspiciously put together for the time of day. 

“Er, yes actually. I’m hoping I banked enough goodwill with you to ask for a favor?” Even he sounded unsure of himself. She didn’t know what it was about him, but he always knew how to hit her soft spot. 

“I don’t know about this goodwill, but I’m listening.”

He let out a relieved huff then suddenly became very animated. “Brilliant—ok. I can’t really tell you right now, because it's kind of a secret, but I would really really love it— and be forever grateful to you— if you kept students away from the lake this afternoon.”

Minerva blinked at him. There was no bone in his body that was not being sincere, she could see that, but how often had he looked the same when he wanted to do one of his little stunts. 

Seeing her pursed lips, he continued. “I swear. I solemnly swear it's not a prank. Just please.”

“Ok.” 

“Wait, what?” he blinked at her like she had grown two heads.

“Don't make me regret this decision Potter.”

“I won’t— would never. Ah, Thank you Minnie! You’re a doll!” He turned and bounded down the stairs.

XXX

It turned out to be quite difficult to keep students away from the lake, but she managed. The clock was ringing 3pm and she was starting to wonder how long she was supposed to keep things up when she spotted them. Potter and Evans were walking hand in hand. They both hadn’t changed into their regular clothes yet and Evans was talking softly. Potter looked like he wasn’t hearing a word of it. Honestly, he looked wrecked. Whatever was on his mind was clearly eating him alive—not at all the same collected boy that had knocked on her door that morning. 

The lakeside was cleared as promised and they walked beside it before stopping and looking out at the mountains far away. It struck Minerva this would be the last time she would see these two in this setting. The next time they would meet they would be equals, fighting what now felt like an impossible war. She savored the moment of seeing two people in love, unaffected for perhaps the final time by death and sadness. 

Potter turned to Evans looking like he was about to combust. Evans must have noticed because her brow furrowed and she placed a hand on his chest, which he immediately grabbed and held in both hands. Very shaky, he lowered himself onto one knee. 

She waited for noise. For some sort of big show that Potter and his mates set up for the occasion, for students to come bursting at the seams of the castle to ruin the moment, for even just the sound of a yes.

Instead, there was silence. A blissful, pure silence. She must have blinked and missed it because Potter’s arms were wrapped around her now, lifting her off the ground. Tears poured from both of their eyes as they in turn tried to wipe the other's face—opting finally for kissing each tear off each other’s cheeks. There was no noise—just sweet relief. 

For a split second, the two reverted back into their eleventh year selves. Small, unsure, and holding onto each other tightly against the weight of a world still unknown to them. It was the first time in a long time she wanted to cradle something in her arms. To tell them it was going to be alright; to keep them whole.

[athenasparrow]

“you left your underwear back at my place.” Jily

Because this made me laugh when I read it

I hope this makes you laugh too @liiilyevans 😂

Rating: M

Send me a prompt

When Lily wakes up, it’s to a pounding headache and a bitter taste in her mouth that informs her – in a voice that sounds eerily like Petunia – that she shouldn’t have downed the five flaming vodka shots at the end of the night. But Marlene had already ordered them and it would’ve been such a waste.

Lily groans and reaches for her phone, determined to tell Marlene off for making her feel so damn horrible, but she's rather distracted by the message that blinks innocently at her on the screen.

Unknown: Hi : D You left your underwear at my place. Let me know when you're awake - I can drop them off.

Lily stares at the message...someone has obviously typed in the wrong number; it was hazy, but she remembers getting in the cab alone. And her underwear was still–

Oh no.

Lily frantically yanks up her dress, staring in horror at her very knickerless–

Lily: Who is this?

Had she shagged the cab driver? She couldn’t remember if he was cute or not. Oh god, what if she’d given in to the building super who had been hitting on her for months. He was like fifty! That would explain why he had her number. Shit, double shit. 

Lily: Is this Horace? 

Unknown: Wait, you're shagging Slughorn?

A wave of pure relief swept through Lily; she was not – thank god – shagging her super.

Lily: No! No more questions!

Who are you?

I’ve woken up with no knickers and am now checking the opening hours for my nearest chemist so I can go buy a fucking pregnancy test.

And get an STI screening!

I do not have time for games right now!

Tell me who you are and return my knickers at once!

Unknown:

Woah, hold on a sec

You don’t need a pregnancy test or an STI screening

At least not because of last night

Lily:

And how would you know that genius?

Unless you’re infertile and a virgin there’s a chance of both!

Again, who am I speaking with?????

Unknown: I am neither infertile nor a virgin

Lily: Then you don’t “know” shit, do you?

Unknown: But we did not have sex last night

Lily: Oh!

Unknown: And this is your neighbour, James

Lily: I don’t have a neighbour named James!

James: I beg to differ. Listen, can you answer your door?

Even with that warning, Lily still jumped when a sharp rap sounded in her apartment. She had quite a few things to say to this man! She didn’t have a neighbour named James; she would know, she’d been living in this apartment for three years. Alice and Frank lived down the hall – they were looking for a bigger place since the arrival of their little one – in number seven. Arabella – a lady who had more cats than square metres – lived in number six. Number five held a charming set of twins – Gideon and Fabian – who Lily was happy to flirt with every time they got mail at the same time. She was in number five and number four–

Oh no.

Lily doesn't have time to stop her hand as it reaches out in front of her and opens the door.

Fit bloke from number four.

He looks even more delicious and Lily is suddenly rather regretful he’d said they hadn’t shagged. But she’s distracted from that thought by the sudden assault of memories.

***

“Pads?” James calls, hearing the door slam shut. He barely glances up from his phone as he frowns at the latest next his mother’s sent him. 

He does jump up at the ensuing crash – and rather loud silence in place of his brother’s usual greeting – running to the hallway and greeted with a rather strange sight.

The beautiful redhead from number five is sprawled out on his floor and seems to be giving her shoe a rather harsh verbal lashing.

“What are you making me trip for, you stupid thing!”

“Are you sure it’s the shoe that made you trip and not the several glasses of whatever you’ve been drinking?” James interrupts with a laugh.

She spins around, obviously caught by surprise, before letting out a triumphant yell as she yanks one heel off, then the other, tossing them carelessly over her shoulder. James winces at the mark the first one leaves on his wall but decides it’s nothing when her second shoe narrowly misses the vase his mother had gifted him.

“I think you’re in the wrong apartment,” James says kindly. She looked quite plastered. “Would you like me to–”

“I’m not in the wrong apartment!” Lily interrupts confidently. “You’re fit-man!”

“I’m James actually?” James says, rather bewildered. “And if anyone is fit here, it’s you!”

The redhead looks rather delighted at his compliment. “That’s excellent that you think so! This will work rather nicely then!”

“What will work nic– Hey! What are you doing?” 

Jame thinks it’s a fair question since she’s hiked up her dress – he was not going to look – and was tugging her deep blue lacy knickers – no looking! – down her pale legs. 

“Well, how are we supposed to do it with them on?” The redhead says, shooting him a look that James thinks is supposed to mean duh when in reality, he’s quite far from understanding anything at the moment.

“It?” James asks, clearing his throat and happy she doesn't appear to notice he sounds like a frog.

“Don’t you know what sex is?” And now she’s giggling at him, bright and free and drunk.

“I know what sex is,” James feels the need to clarify. “But we can’t do it right now.” No matter how much I wish we could.

“Why not?” She demands, her eyes wide – and mesmerising – and horrified as she stares at him.

“Because you’re drunk,” James breaks to her gently, fighting back a laugh. “And I don’t even know your name.”

“Lily.” A pause. “I suppose it would be odd to have sex with me when you don’t know my name.”

James nods vigorously, glad she’s seeing some sense. Hopefully he can convince her to go back to her apartment so he doesn't have to keep telling his cock to stay the fuck down. 

“It’s a pity I’m drunk,” she tells him. “I was really hoping for an orgasm before bed, it really helps me sleep, you know?”

James chokes on the very air he was supposed to be breathing. He does know but he’s not going to tell her that. “I suppose you’ll have to sort that out yourself."

Lily heaves a long sigh like he’s announced Christmas has been cancelled. “Are you sure you can’t help me?” she pouts.

You’re sure James, he tells himself sternly. 

“I’m sure,” he confirms. “You’re drunk.” He says this out loud for his benefit as much as for hers.

“So you would help me if I wasn’t drunk?” 

I would bury my face between your legs and make you cum over and over again.

“Would love to,” James says instead. “If you still want to of course.”

“I’ll still want to,” Lily declares surely and James hopes so, but he won’t hold it against her if she doesn’t. “Oh no!”

“Oh no what?” 

“I’m going to be sick.”

Well shit. 

James scrambles to his feet, thankful the bathroom is in the hallway as he helps her stand and rushes her to the toilet. He holds her hair as she retches into the toilet and offers her a glass of water when she’s done. 

“Now I’ve ruined it” Lily sighs regretfully as she leans her cheek against the toilet seat.

“Ruined what?”

“My sexiness! This is decidedly un-sexy.”

He shouldn’t be flirting – she's drunk – but James can’t help but reassure her. “You could throw up in my toilet all day long and I’ll still think you're beautiful.”

“You would?”

“I would. But let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay? I think you could use some sleep.”

“You’re fit and nice. Do you think I could marry you someday?”

“How about we go on a sober date first,” James proposes, shoving aside the image of her in a white dress that his traitorous mind procures.

“If we must,” Lily hums, letting him pull her up. She grabs a pen off his console and – rather neatly, given how drunk she is – writes her number on his arm. “Now you can find me again!”

She looks so pleased with herself that James doesn’t remind her he only needs to walk three metres to her door. Instead, he grabs her shoes as he guides her out his door and down the hallway. When he sees her safely to bed – her eyes are already heavy – he slips out to leave her in peace. 

Damn. Her knickers.

He grins as he reaches into his pocket for his phone, typing in the numbers neatly scrawled on his arm.

James: Hi : D You left your underwear at my place…

[forgedroyalseal]

His Worst Nightmare

Chapter Ten (the finale 🥳)

“Today was a good day.” Will’s eyes don’t leave the fire as he speaks, and neither do Horace’s.

“It was a long one, that’s for sure.” Everyone else had long since either gone home, fallen asleep in the other bedroom, Halt, or had passed out on the floor where Jenny had left him with a pillow and a blanket, Gilan. Will and Horace had snuck out to the yard, where Horace built a small fire for them to sit by. Its flickering flames painted both boys in an orange glow as they watched it burn.

“Yeah. But still a good one.”

Horace smiled. “I’m glad. It’s been too long since we’ve had one of those.”

Will turns to Horace, “Did you forgive Halt?”

“No. Not really. But he’s here, and that’s a start.” Horace stretched his legs out in front of him. “How much of his conversation with Pauline and Crowley did you hear?”

Will snorts, “All of it. I mean, I lost an arm, not my ears. Did they really think I couldn’t hear them?”

Horace laughs, “I swear, for three of the smartest people I know, they can be clueless sometimes.”

“I think they still sometimes look at us like we’re the oblivious fifteen year olds they first met.”

“So, what do you think?”

“About?” Will asks with a tilt of his head.

Horace rolls his eyes, “About what they were saying. Where do you want to go from here?”

Will dropped his head back and stared up at the stars. “I don’t know. Yesterday I wanted to die. Today felt like nothing had changed. How am I supposed to know what tomorrow will bring? How do I make a choice for my future when I barely understand how I feel right now?”

“I don’t think you need to. I mean, I know for practical reasons Crowley wants to know what to expect, but who cares what he wants. This is still your life Will. You get to decide how you want to live it. And if you need more time to figure that out? Well, that’s no one’s business but yours.”

“What do you think I should do?”

Horace’s silence answered the question before he could. Will knew already knew his answer when he finally said, “I don’t want to watch you get hurt again. And I think you’ve given this country more than enough. I wish you could slow down, be safe, relax. But I also know you. Your mind doesn’t know how to slow down, it never has. So I can’t tell you to stop. I can’t be the one to do that to you. But I will be the one who will always be here to patch you back up, no matter what.”

Will closed his eyes. “I’m tired Horace.”

The words hung in the campfire smoke. Sparks jumped and illuminated them. Caught them on fire. Those three words held so much more weight than either boy was equipped to handle at this moment. The words burn and turned to ash and Horace said, “I know. Let’s go to bed.”

---- ——————————————————————————————————————-

Halt woke at dawn and moved silently out of the cabin, carefully stepping around a sleeping Gilan on the floor. Not that it mattered. Halt could have stepped on Gilan’s hand while wearing bells and the man wouldn’t have woken up. In the field, or even his own home, he slept the same as any ranger, silent and light, ready to leap up at any moment. But whenever he was at Halt’s, he slept like a teenager all over again. It had been a problem when he was still an apprentice, but now, it nearly brought Halt to tears. The complete trust Gilan had in him hadn’t changed even after all these years. Gilan had full confidence that Halt would protect him. Halt wondered if Will will be able to have that kind of trust in him again. Part of Halt hoped not. He didn’t want to Will trust people who hurt him, to give them the opportunity to do it again. Even if that included him. The other part, the part that wasn’t a ranger but felt scarily close to a father, was ready to do whatever it took to regain that trust.

The sun took its time rising. Halt leaned against the veranda railing as it crested over the trees, their foliage turning from a deep evergreen to a glowing emerald. The morning chill was chased away as the dew evaporated. The trio of ranger horses by the stable nickered and Halt watched Sir Rodney and Crowley ride in.

“Good morning Halt.” Rodney nodded to him.

“You’re up bright and early.”

He frowned, “In all honesty, I couldn’t sleep. Not after Crowley told me what happened. Where’s Will?” His concern was almost tangible, and Halt had to fight off a wave of defensiveness. Rodney was here to help, Halt reminded himself. Just like Crowley. Just like he was.

It occurred to Halt that despite the fact that Will had grown up without a father, he now had nearly a half dozen of them. There was an ever growing list of men who’d do anything to protect him, to hold him, to comfort him. And Halt was at the top of that list.

“He’s still sleeping. The boys had a late night.”

“How is-“ Rodney cut himself off, “That’s stupid. What does he need?”

“I don’t know.” Halt admitted.

“That’s what we are here to figure out.” Crowley clapped Halt on the shoulder. “Let’s get some coffee going.”

Gilan was awake by the time the three men stepped inside, sleepily rubbing at his eyes.

“Good morning Gilan.” Rodney smiled.

Gilan’s muttered response was unintelligible as he yawned and stretched.

“You won’t get much more of a response from him until he’s had his coffee.” Halt said as he placed a pot of water over the fire he had revived.

“You rangers are too dependent on the stuff.” Rodney teased.

“You tell ‘em.” Horace said as he entered the living space, stepping over Gilan’s outstretched legs.

“Horace! Good to see you son.” Rodney pulled Horace into a quick hug.

“You too sir, I just wish it was under better circumstances.” Horace’s voice was cool and serious.

Rodney’s face clouded. How had he forgotten so quickly? How had he fallen into the same old pattern of easy comradely with his friends? How could he, when Will, the same Will he had watched grow up, the Will who’s heart he had broken when he denied him a place in battle school, was on the other side of the door broken and bruised and in pieces? How had he forgotten why he was here?

“Of course.” He nodded solemnly.

Horace sighed, clearly seeing Rodney berate himself. He collapsed into a chair. Gilan managed to pull himself into the one beside him and clutched an empty mug in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I don’t-“ Horace swallowed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to enforce an environment of doom and gloom. That not helpful to anyone, least of all Will.”

“I understand Horace.”

Halt served the coffee and the men all took a seat around the table.

“So-“ Crowley began but Horace cut him off.

“Don’t you think Will should be here for this?”

“Do I have to?” Will appeared in the doorway to the bedroom. “I mean, you’ve done a good job making decisions for me so far.” Will’s words should have come across as bitter and sarcastic, but they were filled to the brim with warmth and genuine appreciation. He walked across the room slowly, each step carefully planned to avoid any obstacles that could cause him to lose his footing.

Rodney was grateful for his years as a knight, years spent in active combat seeing all sorts of horrific injuries, because those years were the only thing that kept his face from falling. Will was a wreak, half healed cuts and yellow bruises marbling his skin. And the gruesome focal point of it all, the missing arm. Hearing about what had occurred from Crowley and seeing the aftermath for himself were two very different experiences.

Horace smiled at his friend and stood, guiding Will to take his seat. “Well, if it was left up to me I’d wrapped you in wool and never let you out of the cabin again.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me, meeting adjourned.” Gilan clapped.

“Wait- no.” Will’s eyes widen.

“Yes, what a great idea Horace.” Halt agreed.

“No, guys.” Will’s voice was teetering on a whine. “I can’t be caged up here.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to be part of this conversation won’t you?”

Will narrowed his eyes at Horace, who grinned back innocently. Will turned to the rest of the group. “I’m not sure what I want.”

“What about what’s not on the table?” Crowley offered.

“Um…” Will’s hand fluttered by his shoulder, just above where it dropped into empty space. “I think, I’m mean. I know I can’t go back to Seacliff. I still need a lot of help from Horace to do basic things. I’m getting better with practice, but. Yeah, I think it will be a while before I can live alone. If ever.” Once it was out, Will realized it wasn’t as scary to admit as he thought it would be. After all, his least favorite thing about being a ranger was being alone so offen. He mentally added it his short, but growing, list of bright spots.

“I might be able to help with that.” Will’s questioning eyes jump from the table to Rodney. He cleared his continued, “A knight I grew up with lost his arm to a Skandian ax ten years ago. Sir Harken. Recovery took a fair while but he’s lived in his own ever since. He works as an advisor to the battle master a few fiefs over. I’m confident he’d be happy to visit and see if he can help you navigate day to day tasks.”

“That would be nice. Thank you.” Will smiled at him.

“I’ll sent word out today.”

“Have you given any thoughts to your place in the Corps?” Crowley asked.

“I don’t want to retire. That feels like, defeat. But I guess it’s my only option. I can barely get dressed, much less string and draw a bow.” Will toyed with the silver pendant that still hung around his neck. He couldn’t envision what it would feel like to have a gold one instead. To know that he could no longer serve his king. His country. His people. It made his stomach roll just thinking about it.

“You could take on an administrative roll, work with Crowley at Castle Araluen.” Horace suggested, eager at the idea of having Will permanently close to home.

Will tried to hold back as grimace at the thought. He knew Horace was just trying to help, but the thought of sitting in an office all day long struggling through mountains off paperwork was something straight out of a nightmare.

Crowley read the look and Will’s face and clear his throat. “Might I suggest an alternative?” He said gently. “I had always planned on you training several apprentices. You’ve had the personality for it since day one, and your skill speaks for itself. I was wondering if you’d be willing to train full time and assess the apprentices at the gathering each year.”

“Train full time, like, have an apprentice?” Will furrowed his brow. “I appreciate the vote of confidence, but a huge part of ranger training is actually going out on missions I can’t…” He trailed off. They all know what he can’t do. But Crowley wanted to remind them all of what he could do, what he’s always been able to do. Help those who need it.

“Actually,” Crowley explained, “I mean you travel to each fief with an apprentice and help train them at their home base for a month or so. And if needs be, take over temporarily if something were to happen with their ranger. I’m not sure if your problem solving ability is something that can be taught, but I’m eager to find out. If, that is, you’re interested.”

Will’s eyes widened and he felt them prick with tears. Since the attack, Will was distressed at the idea of becoming useless. Unable to help anyone, being a burden on his loved ones. But here was Crowley, the Ranger Commandant, offering him a way to help. To teach a whole new generation of rangers. Crowley wasn’t just offering a new job, but a new lease on life.

“Well, what do you think Will?” Halt asked.

“You don’t have to agree to anything just yet.” Crowley hurried to add. “You’re still recovering. You can take all the time you need-“

“Yes. Yes please. I’ll do it.” The words rushed out of Will, as if they were racing to get out before Crowley could rescind the offer.

Crowley bit back his smile at Will’s eagerness, “Right, well then, that’s settled. I still want you to take time to recover. But while you do, you can start thinking about lesson plans for your future students. And,” He glanced between Horace and Halt, knowing that what he was about to say had the potential to start a custody battle between the two men, “you can think about where you’d like to have your home base for when you’re between apprentices and gatherings.”

“He can stay with me.” Horace and Halt’s twin answers overlap each other. Horace narrows his eyes, but Halt holds his ground.

“We can work that out once you’ve recovered a bit more.”

Will smiled gratefully at Crowley for the escape route from the conversation he was offering, but he had already made his decision. “Or, I can just do both.” He looks up at Horace, who is standing behind him with a protective had on the back of his chair. “It’ll be nice to be able to see you and Cass more, and it’s convenient if I need to speak with Crowley about the assignments.” He then turns to Halt, “But Redmont has always been my home. It’s where most of my family still is. I’m not ready to give that all up yet. So, I’ll just go back and forth. After all, home isn’t about a house, or things, it’s the people around you.”

Horace opens his mouth to respond, but thinks better at it after Will levels him with a firm look.

“I think that’s a wonderful compromise Will.” Rodney said. “I know I speak for many people in Redmont when I say it’ll be nice to have you back, even if it’s just part of the year.”

“Right, now that we’ve settled that, would someone mind pouring me a cup of coffee and filling me in on everything I’ve missed these past couple weeks? And don’t pretend you don’t know anything, ranger’s are the biggest gossips.” Will grinned.

The group of men laughed and the tension that had taken root in the cabin for weeks popped like a bubble. They all sat around the table, talking and sipping coffee until the sun was high in the sky. One by one, the men dispersed, Rodney and Crowley to send out letters and begin paperwork, Gilan to collect lunch and possibly their friends from Jenny’s tavern, dragging Horace along with him, leaving only Halt and Will in the cabin. They moved from the table to the sofa and Will immediately pulled his legs up under him.

“Are you cold?” Halt asked, already reaching for the quilt that was draped over the armchair beside him.

“A little. I’ve been cold since, well, since. Horace thinks it’s because I lost so much blood, but I think it’s because I haven’t really been wearing shirts. They’re too much work with all the bandages.”

“You can ask for help you know.” Halt told him as he tucked the quilt around Will.

“I know. I do. Horace and Gil have gone above and beyond the call of duty.”

“You can ask me too. If you want. I’ll alway be happy to help.” Halt’s words were quiet, as if he wasn’t sure they were worth saying.

Will nodded and studied Halt. “We’re gonna be okay. You know that, right?”

“I’m trying kid.”

“This, this nightmare, it’s over now. I’m not saying my life is going to be easy. And I’m sure I’ll have plenty of dark days, plenty of time I’ll be ready to throw in the towel, but I’m also certain I’ll have just as many good days, if not more.”

Halt looked intently at Will. “When did you get so smart?”

Will grinned, “Maybe I always have been and you’ve just never noticed.”

“No, that’s not it. I definitely remember you being a bit of an idiot back in the day. All my years of training must have final sunken in.”

Will rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what it is.”

There a was a pause then Halt said, “I’m proud of you Will. I’ve always been proud of you. You-“ He swallowed around the lump the was forming in his throat, “you are remarkable. You always have been. And if you decide that you don’t want to train apprentices, if you want to retire, I will still be just as proud. Nothing you do will ever change that. You hear me?”

Will blinked back tears and sniffed. “Yeah. I know that.”

“Good. Don’t you ever forget just how much you mean to me Will. I’d give my life for you. You are like a son me.”

Will propelled himself forward across the couch to hug Halt. It was awkward and a bit painful, but Will needed it like he needed oxygen, and based on the way Halt clutched Will, he knew Halt felt the same.

It was going to be hard, and it was going to take more time than Will was willing to admit at the moment, but he knew that they, that he, was going to be just fine.

A/N: And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone who’s commented, liked, and read. Can’t wait to get started on the next adventure!

[redrose-arrow]

cute not canon thoughts

when Maddie was still a young child, Will did, in fact, talk to her the same way as he talked to his dogs. in his defence: childspeech and petspeech are pretty similar. 

idk the who the what the where and the when, but someone once shot an arrow through candle flames to extinguish them. it was pretty badass. 

Horace occassionally tells Cassandra to “stop smiling” when they were kissing, because it was distracting, having to choose between watching her smile or kissing her. 

Duncan took Horace on a hunting trip after the engagement became known, because he wanted to tell the young knight that he really did approve. 

Horace and Cassandra tried to make a habit out of going for a walk or a ride at least twice a week, so that they’d get to spend some time together and both get fresh air. Baby Maddie always rode with her dad. 

Will is actually pretty close with the apprentices that he has to help/train/assess during the Gatherings, and exchanges letters with them pretty often. 

one time, Sir David had to leave on a diplomatic mission to the lands of the Scoti. Gilan temporarily filled his place in training apprentices in Battleschool. 

MacNeil was also invited when Gilan graduated the Corps. 

A few years after the Hibernia adventure, the Corps is literally overflowing with talented Rangers. Crowley uses the opportunity to force his men to take vacations - they have the manpower to fill the gaps, anyways. 

[dragonslovecoins]

Second part! Yippee!!!!

TW : Badly written idk where the super awesome magical amazing writer sauce is but I did NOT have it 😞👊

When Will awoke, his head was aching and he couldn’t breathe.

Wheezing, he felt like he was falling, causing him to thrash to find a place to hold onto. Why couldn’t he breathe? Why was he falling? Why did his head hurt?

He clutched something made of stone, was it the side of the tower? It was dark, so dark he couldn’t see himself, but all he knew was that he was suffocating. Why couldn’t he feel all his fingers?

“Am I dead?” He thought suddenly.

The memory of his fall came back to him. He clenched his teeth, struggling to draw a breath.

He was dead, wasn’t he? Was he in the Afterlife? Was he in some Circle of The Hells, forcing him to suffocate for eternity? He never thought himself gluttonous, but he supposed The Gods deemed him so.

“I-I’m sorry,” He choked out, tears in his eyes.

“What for?”

Lights suddenly turned on, the flames burning above him suddenly, and he found himself in some sort of office. He was on a stone table, clutching the edge of the stone. He hastily released it, still feeling like he was falling.

Baron Arald bent over him, black veined eyes studying him. “Don’t try to breathe. You can’t do that anymore…or at least, not until you’ve relearned how to do it. Breathing has no use for you right now, though.” He spoke kindly, sliding a hand under him to help him into a sitting position. “I’ve got you. Sit up. Easy, now.”

“Where am I?” He gasped, shaking. His lungs burned.

“The royal laboratory. We had to put you back together.” He answered matter-of-factly.

“What?!” Will squeaked. Baron Arald made a face that suggested he immediately regretted saying that so quickly without thinking.

“You died. Your…well, pieces of your head and…brain went everywhere, of course. We couldn’t save all of you, but never fear, King Duncan replaced everything you needed successfully…oh, you’re panicking. There there.” Baron Arald unhelpfully patted his back as Will felt panicked tears welling in his eyes. He couldn’t breathe, his head hurt, and all he wanted was to go back to his friends. Hells, it would even be nice to see Horace again.

As if reading his mind, Baron Arald cast him a pitying look.

“You can’t go back, Will. You’re a ranger’s apprentice now,” He said softly, pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

Will knew what that meant. Eternal servitude under The Vulture King, never finding rest until he had no use for him. Will knew the stories. He shook his head, his panic only mounting with the added despair.

“No, no! I-I was meant to be a knight! I don’t want this!” He cried, trying to squirm out of his grasp. Baron Arald let him go.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He repeated, and he himself knew that his words would not comfort the young boy. “I promise, it’s not that bad-”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Will-”

“Leave me alone!”

Will, who had been shuffling away from Baron Arald, suddenly felt his hand hit the air rather than the stone table. He gasped, teetering backwards.

Cold, strong hands caught him. Baron Arald sucked in a breath, bolting upright.

“My king, he–”

“I know, I know. He’s terrified, like anyone would be.”

Will froze.

The Vulture King.

King Duncan looked down at him with a smile, though his cold body did not inspire feelings of safety, rather feelings of fear and death.

Naturally, he screamed.

King Duncan laughed, and Baron Arald made a face as though he was holding back a scowl. He quickly took Will from his arms and cradled him against his chest.

“My king, please don’t laugh. He’s terrified.” Baron Arald pleaded, though his voice had a hint of anger. King Duncan did not stop, but his laughter quieted, just a bit.

“Oh, Arald, have a little humor!” Duncan dipped down, dead eyes boring into Will’s. “His humanity is still with him, we’ve got a few years to poke fun.” Duncan used one of his long nails to poke his side, making him squirm in pain. He whimpered, and Baron Arald hugged Will closer to him.

“It’s okay, he’s just messing with you. I won’t let him hurt you.” Baron Arald muttered, pushing King Duncan’s hand away. With a sigh, Duncan retracted his hand.

“Oh, Arald. You’re too sweet to the new ones.” He complained, reaching out to grip Arald’s hair. He subtly dug his nails into Arald’s scalp, making sure it hurt. Baron Arald swallowed, but did not loosen his grip.

“Remember, I can make you feel pain. You’re not invincible to me. I can make you feel the flames of the hottest ring of the Hells, or the cold of the coldest plains in Eboran. Give me the boy.” He hissed. Will saw something glint in his mouth - was that sharp teeth?

Baron Arald swallowed, furrowing his brow in an attempt to show frustration, though he made no attempt to hide his fear.

“You’re scaring me.” He snapped, and at that, King Duncan gave pause. He stared at him for a moment, observing.

King Duncan retreated, turning to the shelves and running his finger over the spines.

“Fine then. Excuse me for my anger,” His voice was tight, obviously not being sincere. Baron Arald sighed, looking down at Will with a light smile, though he looks nervous.

“...let’s get you registered with Crowley, okay?” Baron Arald adjusted him in his arms, but Will stopped him.

“I-I want to walk,” He murmured. Baron Arald raised an eyebrow at him, but set him on his feet, holding him steady until Will gained his balance.

“You will need to relearn to walk, but you’re already doing well standing.” Baron Arald complimented, trying to subtly shield his eyes away from the mirror in the corner.

Will was getting fed up, in a sense. He couldn't see himself, couldn't stand by himself, still felt his lungs burning with a need for oxygen. He wanted some autonomy, to be able to move on his own. So he pushed Baron Arald away and began stumbling towards the mirror.

"Wait, no!" Baron Arald yelped, grabbing for will desperately, but King Duncan stopped him.

"You can't shield him forever. Let him see." Duncan spoke, a smile resting on his lips now. If Baron Arald was trying to object, Will didn't know, as King Duncan swiftly covered his mouth.

Will hesitantly peeked into the glass, expecting to see pale skin and black eyes, matching their own undead appearances.

However, his skin was the same, as was his soft eyes.

What changed?

Then he spotted it, so quickly it made his heart sink.

Fur. Short black fur, all down his chest and stomach, over his shoulders, down his arms...and his arms had been transformed into huge bat wings. His hands had been reformed, almost like those pictures of wyverns he would see in old storybooks. Talons, made for climbing and holding.

He stumbled back from the mirror, bile rising in his throat.

"I-I'm a monster." He whispered, tears filling his eyes. Baron Arald quickly rushed to assure him.

“No no no! Not a monster! Just…reformed!”

“I’m a bat! Bats carry diseases, and I’m not even a full bat!” Will cried.

“You won’t carry diseases, Will!” Baron Arald hastily assured, tossing King Duncan a glare when he snickered at Will’s distress. To King Duncan’s credit, he did quiet a little, but his glee was still palpable.

“A-Am I going to look like this forever?” Will sniffled, rubbing his eyes tearfully. When Baron Arald was quiet, he knew the answer and began to wail.

“Oh, dear….” Baron Arald murmured. He often forgets how deep sorrow can feel, especially when just discovering you’ve been permanently warped. He thought back to his transformation, how he felt. Fear, mainly. But unlike Will, he had nobody to comfort him with the change.

Meaning, he had no clue how to comfort Will.

“...look,” He murmured, gently cupping Will’s face and tilting his head to look him in the eyes. “...it’s new, but you’ll get used to it. I promise. Soon enough you’ll have grown into your new skin easily. It’s like…getting used to new clothes!”

“You can take off clothes,” Will snapped, but he calmed down a little. Baron Arald was just trying to help him, and now Will felt a little bad for being so resistant to him. He wiped his eyes, sniffling and trying to calm himself. Baron Arald gave a relieved smile.

“Good boy, Will. Let’s go get you something to eat then get you registered with Crowley, okay? You’ll be assigned right back to your hometown! That’s nice, right?”

Will nodded, and Baron Arald smoothly picked him up. Will clung to him tightly, and they left King Duncan’s lab.

“You know, you were originally going to be half bird,” Baron Arald mentioned as the passed by mosaic windows. “But then King Duncan found a dead bat, and thought that would be perfect for you. I think he made the right choice, too, you look very cute.”

Will peeked up at him through his hair, brow furrowed.

“Cute?” He questioned.

“Very.” Baron Arald glanced up at the mosaic, a colorful spray of light flecking his face. “...it’s mid afternoon. Crowley is visiting Halt. We’ll have to wait until he gets back.”

“Visiting? How does he have the time? Or ability, really?” Will questioned.

“It’s not like he’s chained to his desk, despite what Crowley may insist.” Baron Arald answered. “And he always makes time for Halt.”

Will was only half listening to Baron Arald at this point. He was looking up at the mosaic. It depicted a young man, head tilted up and hands cupped, as a being formed with milky white glass tilted over him. There were no eyes, no ears, only hands, all cupped and pouring something into the young man, filling his eyes and cupped hands. He had seen this before, studied it. But there was never an answer, an explanation for the mosaic. All he knew was that the many handed being Manus was giving the young man power.

“Power,” Will thought, a chill going down his back. “What a terrifying thing.”

[burnin0akleaves]

This was supposed to be a sexuality headcanons post but it somehow turned into a Will/Alyss/Horace/Cassandra exploration.

A fair warning to everyone; this post is messy, all over the place, not easy to read and my favourite child now. It is mostly me projecting, but I did put a lot of thought into each part so that all of them have different points of view while still talking about the same relationship. Some of the things in one character's part might not make sense if you don't read the points of view of the others involved and the whole thing generally gets better the more you read.

Also, be warned that I'm not trying to represent anything in a universal way here. Again, most of these are personal to me and based on my own experiences of being queer. That being said, enjoy I guess.

Will: Bi

Ever since he was a child, there were two things Will just knew to be true. He would be a knight, and he loved Alyss. He had used the word "love" at first without even truly grasping the meaning of it, but he had known he was right.

Will couldn't remember his first steps or the first time he climbed a tree, practically the same thing for him, but he remembered playing in the mud with Alyss. Her hair was long and covered in mud just like her skin, but she was nowhere near as dirty as Will was. He was the one wildly splashing at the puddle after all, and Alyss was watching him curiously. Somehow that's the earliest memory he can remember. Will isn't sure whether it's the sight of Alyss covered in mud, so unlike her calm and regal attitude now; or the way she looks at him like he is doing the most impressive thing in the world, but he knows that playing in the mud isn't anything memorable. So it must be the way Alyss looks at him that's so ingrained in his mind.

Will first hears the word love not too long after that very memory, and even as a toddler he knows that it must describe him and Alyss. No one else comes to his mind at the time. The word never loses it's association with her as he grows up, and he holds onto it like an anchor. He loves Alyss, and he will be a knight.

When he thinks about it many years later, Will realizes that his attraction to boys had always been there, he just hadn't found the right words to describe it at the time. Or well, he had, it was just that he didn't grasp how much love he was capable of having. He loved Alyss, so it couldn't have been attraction when he watched the other boys wrestle in the yard. It must have been that he wanted to be like them, not with them. So when he starts noticing how strong Horace's body is developing to be and how handsome his face looks now; Will doesn't make any attempt to get closer to him, he tries to be more like him instead. When Horace pushes him around and calls him names, Will just pushes harder and spends his time trying to think of better insults. He spends a lot of his time thinking about Horace those days, with an intense feeling he can't name.

Then, there is Evanlyn. There is a certain connection he feels the first time their eyes meet, a feeling he has never experienced before. She is feisty, demanding and stubborn. Even after everything he has gone through, including befriending Horace, the idea of getting closer with the girl should by all means be intimidating for him. But it's not. Will is drawn to Evanlyn like a moth to a flame. They have the same spirit in them.

That must be why after knowing her only for a few months, the two forge a bond wordlessly. Will sacrifices everything to protect Evanlyn, so Evanlyn does everything she can to care for him in return. Their eyes meet constantly, feeling the need to be aware of where the other is at all times. Will had realized how similiar they were before, but now he knew that no one else could ever understand them like they understood each other. When he looks back at this time in the future Will can't recall a lot, maybe he isn't even trying to, but one thing he remembers clearly is the warmth Evanlyn made him feel. And how it was the heartbreak that he felt after rejecting her that first started making him question what the word love meant.

It's eventually Alyss who helps him figure it out, years later. She tells him to sit down and starts asking questions, slowly leading Will somewhere she had obviously figured out long ago. At the end, Will understands that he had been right about loving Alyss all along. But he also loves Horace. And he loves Evanlyn. What he feels for them is love too. Not only that, Alyss is completely supportive with him exploring these sides of him with her.

Alyss and Will's relationship strengthens more than ever. Having the words to describe his feelings takes a huge weight off Will's shoulders, and it helps him understand himself better in a lot of other ways too. It seems to be the same for Alyss, and Will isn't suprised when she comes up with the idea of trying something new in their relationship. Both of them know they have the capacity to be attracted to more than one person at the same time, so the two begin to occasionally involve other people in their bed. It takes a lot of trust and discussion of boundaries to make sure its safe and fun for everyone, but they make it work. As the years pass the two have less time and energy so this arrangement stops, but they always look back on these years of their relationship fondly. The only people they have romantic interest in other than each other though are Cassandra and Horace.

After Alyss's death the relationship between Will, Cassandra and Horace take a huge blow. Will is extremely distant for a while which the other two are completely understanding about; they loved Alyss too and they grieved as well, but Will's relationship with her had always been different. Not in a bad way, or a way that made the love between Will and themselves any "less", but different all the same. Eventually through him mentoring Maddie the three of them start getting to see each other more frequently again, and while Will is still distant in some ways he knows that he is still loved. And that he can still love.

Alyss: Bi (also not mentioned here but trans Alyss headcanons are great)

Alyss has always had a crush on Will as well, but she realizes her attraction to women pretty quickly once she starts working with Pauline and is encouraged to explore her self-identity more. The department is full of beautiful girls, and Alyss notices pretty quickly that her feelings for said girls don't fit into how others describe friendships. Pauline is a big support to her during this time and helps Alyss find the correct words to describe herself.

Alyss does the same thing for Will years later. The two have a long talk where Will starts out nervous but Alyss guides him through his feelings masterfully. Once her boyfriend realizes that love and attraction are way broader than he thought and gets to think about his feelings for a while, the couple begin thinking about involving other people. They make sure to lay boundaries down each time so that no one ends up leaving hurt and everything goes smootly for a while. But the two get more and more responsibilities at their respective jobs everyday and the arrangement becomes too much. Both of them look at that brief time in their lives fondly though, and the experiences they've gained help them later on.

At Nihon-Ja, Alyss is nowhere near as composed. While not having much trouble with figuring out her sexuality and learning to communicate with Will about other potential partners before, Alyss has a LOT of trouble when it comes to her feelings towards a certain princess.

Alyss doesn't want to like Cassandra. She doesn't want the relationship between her and the future queen to be anything less than professional, at least that's what she keeps telling herself. But beneath that is an old, childish jealousy that had been formed at an age where Alyss hadn't had enough time to understand herself yet.

She had always been a jealous person, a flaw that she had been aware of for a long time. A part of her she had spent so long understanding and working on before she could feel secure enough in herself to talk about other potential partners with Will. A part of her she thought she had gotten over.

But Alyss' perception of Cassandra had formed before any of her efforts, and had remained forgotten for a long time. Alyss was expecting a snobby, arrogant brat who thought she could get anything she wanted. And that's why it's suprising that when Alyss finds a strong, talented woman who deserves her position as crown princess more than anyone, Alyss' feelings don't disappear at all. If anything, they intensify.

For the second time in her life, Alyss doesn't know how to describe her emotions. She had only felt this strongly towards one person in her life, but she doesn't even think of comparing the two. Cassandra is a flame Alyss can't take her eyes off. She needs to hate Cassandra, that's the only thing that would make sense. Cassandra is a flame Alyss can't take her eyes off and she is afraid of getting burnt.

So she convinces herself that it must be jealousy, even if she knows it isn't true deep down. The last time she could identify her feeling towards Cassandra were when she was a child and it was jealousy then. Alyss would rather stick to that than to accept she doesn't know what they are now.

She tries to find every little fault in Cassandra and to do that, she watches her from afar for hours. Cassandra is so emotional, her cheeks flush in a dumb way everytime she gets angry or flustered. Cassandra is so loud, Alyss can hear her voice from the other end of Wolfwill. Cassandra is so short, Alyss could carry her around easily. Cassandra is so terrible at fighting; the thrill Alyss feels when the two duel with wooden swords is definitely because of the adrenaline, not the way Cassandra's body moves in front of her. Cassandra is trying to seduce Will; her heart must be beating as fast as Alyss' when she sees the two of them, their flames merging into one wildfire in Alyss' eyes.

Alyss knows that she isn't making any sense when the two finally argue, Cassandra managing to slip under her skin like poison and bringing out the worst side of Alyss; the uncomposed, unladylike, jealous Alyss that can't even make reasonable arguments. But how can she be expected to think clearly when Cassandra looks so beautiful right in front of her, wrapped in towels and flushed from the hot bath. Alyss almost kisses her once their voices quiet down, wanting to use her mouth for something if it won't be for talking. But it isn't until they return and Will and Horace tell the girls they want to talk about something that she gets to. Turns out all of them had reached the same page, just at different speeds. Alyss, for once in her life, had been especially slow.

Horace: DemiBi

Horace's relationship with love was complicated. As a child, he would go to bed listening to stories about knights in shining armours saving princesses from dragons. That part made sense of course, Horace could imagine himself in the place of the knight perfectly. But then, the knight would kiss the princess each time, and they would get married. Now, Horace didn't understand that part. How could he fall in love with someone as easily as that? Was he expected to marry a princess in the future too?

Eventually, Horace realizes that he isn't marrying princesses anytime soon, which is relieving. But he feels a similiar pressure in his chest each time boys in the ward gather around to talk about their crushes. When it's time for him to speak, Horace never has anything to tell them. But he isn't willing to go down so easily and if he can't become a hero by kissing a princess, he'll become one by slaying a dragon.

And luckily for Horace, he has found his already. A small dragon, one that can't breathe fire but makes up for it with the flames in his eyes and the sharpness of his tounge. Will.

Of course, fairytales aren't real and Horace never slays a dragon. Will and Horace become friends so easily that he finds himself confused as to why they used to fight in the first place. The two understand each other perfectly, and being around the smaller boy feels like second nature. Maybe Horace would never want to kiss a princess, and he'd never get to slay a dragon; but being around Will feels just as worthwhile.

Just when he thinks he has it all figured out, in the span of only a few years Horace's life quickly turns into a mess again. On one hand there is Cassandra, the princess Horace very much does want to kiss now. He thinks about the burning bridge, the winter in Skandia, his knighting as the Oakleaf Knight and his daily life in Araluen. He isn't sure exactly when his feelings changed towards her. Horace knows that he didn't feel the need to kiss her when they first met, and that he values his friendship with Cassandra above anything else, but he certainly does now. What's even more confusing is that the man quickly realizes his feelings towards Will are just as strong as his feelings for Cassandra.

It's a few letters from Will, and later on Alyss, that finally clear things up for him. Will mentions a talk he had with her, explaining many terms Horace had never heard before. Will sounds the happiest he has been in a long time, and Horace finds his joy mirrored in himself. He holds those letters tightly each day they arrive and cries teardrops on the paper from how relieved he is.

The letters are safely tucked away in a chest in the room Cassandra and Horace share. He stops looking at them for many years, not feeling the need to when Cassandra is always next to him and new letters from Will and Alyss arrive frequently even if they aren't around. The next time Horace takes them out, his hands are shaking. He reads the eloquent handwriting of Alyss, and sheds tears on them for a different reason.

Cassandra: Bi

Ironically out of all of them Cassandra; the one that had been destined to have the most amount of expectations placed on her, was the one who had rejected what love was supposed to be according to others first.

Rebelling was second-nature to Cassandra now. She would rebel against the food that was on the table, the lessons she would have to take, the dresses she would have to wear, the hair length everyone wanted her to have... what had started out as the natural result of a spoiled child that had everything she could want had slowly turned into said child's way of taking control of her life back.

She had already rejected the idea of what a woman in her position was supposed to be according to society as a teenager, so it hadn't been confusing to her at all when she realized she didn't dislike the idea of having a girlfriend. The wonderful way she felt about handsome boys and pretty girls couldn't have possibly been wrong, so it must have been the idea of only being allowed to have a husband that was.

Will gives everything to protect her, every part of his body and eventually his very mind. This is a level of heroism, of selfless sacrifice that Cassandra could have never thought of. Of course she isn't suprised when she catches feelings, it's only natural. Will is smart, funny, handsome, admirable... he had taken the role of her guardian on his own and she had done the same for him the second she could. They both have a fire in their hearts that matches in intensity and outshines everything around them. Cassandra tries to make him hers, and she knows Will has feelings for her too. But he refuses.

Cassandra doesn't get why for a long time, experiencing the first crush and heartbreak of her life one after another. But years later she looks back at this time and appreciates Will's decision. Neither of them were ready yet; Will unable to realize he is allowed to love more than one person and Cassandra not emotionally mature enough to see a relationship right after everything they survived is not healthy. She needed someone else to teach her how to tame her fire first.

Horace is everything that is expected of her to have. Tall, strong, handsome... a knight. The side of her that was used to rebelling blindlessly would never look at his direction, but that side had been frozen in Skandia. So, Cassandra lets Horace in, and she falls for him. It's less intense than Will, quieter and less wild. It's not a love tale written in storm, snow and war. It's between stone walls and fancy parties. Horace is her safe haven tucked into one corner of Castle Araluen, her break from the chaos who embraces her with strong arms and a calming smile. It's no wonder that when Horace is lost across the sea, Cassandra doesn't think twice before going to find him and bring him back.

Alyss is everything out of her reach. She is the opposite of Cassandra, a gorgeous wave that lifts her off her feet and washes her away from the shore. She realizes how similiar her and Will are once again, because she has been completely captivated by her.

She confides in him immediately and learns a lot about their relationship. None of the concepts suprise her, they are all results she reached herself, but it does feel nice to have a word for them. Suddenly she finds herself loving Horace, Will and Alyss at the same time, and it's an amazing feeling.

The problem is even if Alyss drags her in like a wave, she also throws her right back to the shore like one. Every time Cassandra makes an effort to get closer to the other girl, she pushes her away. Cassandra catches Alyss staring at her with a deep gaze multiple times, a gaze that has what she's looking for in it, but then she looks away as if nothing happened. But Cassandra is stubborn, and even if she can't have Alyss she is determined to at least understand why. She does get Alyss at the end. She only wishes she could have Alyss for longer.

Horace can only help her so much while he is also grieving, and Will hasn't looked at them since. But Cassandra doesn't blame him, she actually understands Will very well. It's just like before, they both have a fire in them. And right now Will is burning wildly, destroying everything in his path because if he stops now he will go out entirely. So Cassandra understands. She lets him distance himself, but she won't let him burn himself out.

Years later they all lay in the same bed. Horace and Cassandra are tangled up in each other, Will is sleeping on his side right next to them. His hand is holding Cassandra's and his head is resting on Horace's arm. He sighs in his sleep and turns over, throwing his arm over the other two and them responding by holding him tighter in return.

There is room for one more on the bed, but the empty space is not as daunting as it used to be.

[h4nn4hra]

Halt can't cook.

In chapter 28 of book 10 Halt let's Will cook because 'he likes doing it' but Will points out that 'it's known that can Halt burn water.' He is then gonna tell us some examples but gets interrupted.

But how bad is Halt at cooking for Will to say this?

A few possibilities:

He had a flame in the pan enough times for Will to not look up anymore when there was a sudden flash of warmth and light in the kitchen for less then five seconds.

When it wasn't one of the few meals Halt can cook without burning it was either half burnt or Will was sent to town to buy them a meal.

The vegetables are either undercooked or burned. No inbetween.

Ones a particularly sleep deprived Halt had tried to boil steak. He didn't even notice till Will pointed it out and told him to go to bed.

Horace's always complaining to him that they won't get a single decently cooked meal if he has to seperate from them at missions.

Will eventually went to Jenny to ask for some cooking lessons. When he started to cook every night neither of them spoke of it.

[lockawayknight]

@austerulous said:

“Do you know of the acreage you hold in my heart?”

Soft-spoken words disturbed the quiet, a gentle affront to the deathly company they kept. The only souls that drew breath in this makeshift graveyard, they sat side-by-side, hip to hip, Anri’s head at home on Creighton’s shoulder, snow-white tresses mingling and bleeding with pale blonde. How warm they were, how full of blood, as they huddled in the grim shadow of the cathedral.

“I have something for you.” Careful rummaging in a leather pouch produced the gift. It nestled in the well of Anri’s palm as she presented it, shining in a shade of cyan reminiscent of summer waters. A prism stone, luminescent and inappreciable, it had warmed her pocket through the ages, kept her company through more graves than she could count.

“It is my last one. My first too, incidentally. A gift from Horace, back when we were children.” A whimsical and sentimental keepsake, one that few would see the value in. Creighton would understand though, she was certain. Creighton would treasure it.

“I should like for you to always have a little light. To know that I love you, and that I will carry these tender feelings beyond the veil of true death.” How sweetly their fingers brushed, as Anri deposited the glinting pebble into her friend’s dear hands. It had been a curse to live this long, but there was a gift in meeting him. Gratitude bruised her aching heart.

Surrounded by moss-draped tombstones, the consecrated earth stippled with meadow saxifrages and cuckoo flowers – and with the bones of beloved-by-one children crumbling beneath their boots – Anri pressed a lingering kiss to Creighton’s pale, mottled cheek.

There are very few things in the world that carry more weight than the sound of Horace’s name on Anri’s lips, or the importance of their friendship bearing its beauty within her bleeding breast. Creighton knows this well, and immediately understands the depth of the ocean that dives deep within the pale stone that is placed into his palm. He knows this…

And it breaks him like a wooden arrow against a dragon’s hide.

Indeed, he’s so in awe of the gift’s every silent meaning — his breath and beating blood holding each other, choking, by the throat, ‘til neither lungs nor heart can catch any air — that he almost misses the softness of his dear friend’s lips as they grace the scattered freckles beneath his eyes. But the warmth is hard to ignore. Like a church candle’s gentle flame being held to his dappled cheek.

“Anri, you…” He has no words. He cradles the stone in the palm of his hand as one would cradle a fragile duckling, or the egg it had hatched from, knowing full well that something so beautiful deserves a much more tender hand to rest within. One like Anri’s. One like a saint’s. One so, so unlike Creighton’s. “This… I’m…”

Truly, though, what is there to say? A “thank you” would be nothing but a breeze against the stronghold of her love. A hug is too forward, he thinks, from his bearlike arms, and his scarred and split lips are unworthy of feeling her skin with a returned kiss. His words would be gawky as a pauper to her beauty’s porcelain princess. And so, he is left there, dumb as a doe and just as anxiously, innocently wide-eyed as his mailled fingers flex around the glowing stone.

A century passes, it seems, before he finally inhales the frostbitten air.

Gods, how he wishes he could pull his heart from his chest and hand it to her as one would a wedding ring.

But because he cannot…

…

Creighton swallows hard, and he doesn’t need to think twice when a very, very strong feeling begins to pluck his heart’s harp strings. “I, ah…” Pause. “…I got somethin’ for y’ too.”

His free hand moves to reach beneath his cloak.

Once upon a time, there was a lonely harpy who lived in the dunes. Not in a parable sort of way — very, very truly. And she had a very special friend.

Of course, it was Creighton. A much younger, much more volatile — could you imagine? — version of the now-Finger, gruff and gritty, vulgar and venomous, but always eager to chat with his feathered friend about the ups and downs of their lives — the churning of the sands, literal and metaphorical, and the way the spiders spun their webs. Creighton was confident and calm in the knowing that she would hold him to her black-downed breast during the times when he had nowhere else to go, even if her avian ears were unable to fully comprehend the reasons why he cried; and she, too, could flutter to his door when she craved a type of murder different than that which stained her customers’ swords. She was a comfort to him; and, indeed, he was to her. And she had a peculiar way of showing her love.

Her crow’s covetous brain treasured all things smooth and shiny, and Creighton would often find trinkets and curios left on his doorstep. Oh, how his to-be husband would snicker at the rubbish, amused by the knight’s closeness to the she-bird, his foxlike fingers studying the curves of beast bones and broken porcelain faces.

But to Creighton, each one was a treasure.

As was she.

Time passed, and bones turned to dust, and dolls’ eyes shattered into shards, and feathers disappeared into the unforgiving winds of a world left to crumble. Every gift. Every memento. Even the harpy herself.

But one treasure remained.

And it is heavy in the pouch that hangs from Creighton’s belt.

Creighton is not a man made of eloquence — poetry has never once fallen from his lips. He speaks in grunts and groans and cussing and curtness. His language is one of beastmen. He has no way to articulate this story of friendship, fondness, and forced separation that swaddles the small object he wraps his fingers around. He hasn’t the first clue how to explain the heart, soul, and sentimentality of what he pulls from his pocket. And, were it to be a gift given to anyone else, he might even feel silly for assuming the other would think the thing as anything more than a simple relic — something to sell, or to trade, or to use in a pinch.

But as he places the radiant lifegem in Anri’s palm — the golden, gorgeous gem, still sparkling with the souls of warriors past, and just as too-humanly warm — and he raises his eyes to meet hers, he knows she will read the words within them, and understand.

“Gift from an old friend,” he manages through the lump in his throat. “I’m, ah… If I get t’carry some a’ your light an’ love, then I think you oughta be able to carry a bit a’ mine. I can’t always be there t’protect the ones I care about, y’know. But, ah… at least with this, you’ll always ‘ave a bit a’ extra help if somethin’ ‘appens.”

The smile he offers seems almost… sad.

But only because he wishes he could do more.

As he releases his hold on the lifegem, the prism stone finds itself at home in the now-empty space in his pocket. And so, once again, he feels his friends’ love radiate through him like a sip of warm tea.

He’s always been bad at I-love-you-toos.

[aprilfools2023]

BSD MY IMMORTAL

Hi my name is Horace Walpole Ann Radcliffe and I have long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Marguerite Duras (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Lord Byron but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a detective, and I work at a detective agency called the ADA in Japan where I’’ve worked for seven years (I’m twenty-two). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topicand I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking around Yokohama. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Horace!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Chuuya Nakahara!!

“What’s up Chuuya?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter 2

AN: BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Kyoka woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair and opened her sky-blue eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Chuuya Nakahara yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Chuuya?” she asked as we went out of the ADA dorm complex and onto the street.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Chuuya walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, TRASH CANDY are having a concert in Yokohama.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love TRASH CANDY. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped. 

Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 TRASH CANDY.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I read a depressing book while I waited for Chuuya and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Chuuya was waiting there in front of his flying motorcycle (he can do dat cos of his ability). He was wearing a GRANRODEO-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Chuuya!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Horace.” he said back. We walked onto his red motorcycle (the license plate said 420) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to the GaZette and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped off of the motorcycle. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to GRANRODEO.

'“If we push on through like we're about to hurl, I'm sure our future will start to pick up speed! Even if this moment in time becomes frozen, There's no stopping this breath – so where's my worthless reward?.” sang Kisho '(I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Kisho is so fucking hot.” I said to Chuuya, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Chuuya looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Chuuya sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Kisho and he’s going out with sCOTT fucking Fitzgerald. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Chuuya. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked GRANRODEO for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back onto the motorcycle, but Chuuya didn’t go back into the ADA, instead he drove the motorcycle into……………………… Dragonhead!

Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok Horace’s name is WHORACE nut mary su OK! CHUUYA IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

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“CHUUYA!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Chuuya didn’t answer but he stopped the motorcycle and he walked off of it. I walked off of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Horace?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Chuuya leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Chuuya kissed me passionately. Chuuya climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a building. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Fukazawa!  

Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Fukazawa swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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Fukazawa made and Chuuya and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Chuuya comforted me. When we went back to the office Fukazawa took us to Mafia Executives Mori and Kyou who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Dragonhead!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Kyou-San.

“How dare you?” demanded Mori-San.

And then Chuuya shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

Everyone was quiet. Fukazawa and Kyou-San still looked mad but Mori-san said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Chuuya and I went upstairs while the Presidents glared at us.

“Are you okay, Horace?” Chuuya asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the ADA’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Chuuya was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘TRASH CANDY’ by GRANRODEO. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back to his apartment.  

Chapter 6

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the cafe, I ate some ramen with blood instead of broth, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky brown hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Chuuya’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy Japanese accent. He looked exactly like Hideya. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Dazai Osamu, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Chuuya came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 7, Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Worace isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

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Chuuya and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Chuuya. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Chuuya. We went into a room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Chuuya, Chuuya!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Chuuya’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Chuuya pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted.

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Chuuya ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s office where he was having a meeting with Mori-san and some other people.

“VAMPIRE OSAMU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled. 

Chapter 8

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

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Everyone in the meeting stared at me and then Chuuya came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Horace, it’s not what you think!” Chuuya screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Yosano Akiko smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long soldier-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Yosano was kidnapped when she was eleven. She worked for Mori during the war. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Akiko. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in the ADA not Port Mafia. )

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Mori demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Chuuya!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Horace was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Horace) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Chuuya anymore!” said Vampire.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Dragonhead where I had lost my virility to Chuuya and then I started to bust into tears. 

Chapter 9

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da anime ok so itz nut my folt if fukazawa swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson moori dosent lik Dazai now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Chuuya for cheating on me. I began to cry against the building where I did it with Chuuya.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and a ushnaka and everything started flying towards me on a rat! He had a ushanka (basically like Fyodor in the anime) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Fyodor!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Fyodor shouted “Crime and Punishment!” and I couldn’t run away.

“THE MYSTERY OF OTRANTO!” I shouted at him. Fyodor fell of his rat and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“HORACE.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Osamu!”

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic brown hair and how his face looks just like Keisuke Ueda. I remembered that Chuuya had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Chuuya went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Fyodor!” I shouted back.

Fyodor gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Chuuya!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Fyodor got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Chuuya!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his rat.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Chuuya came into the clearing.

“Chuuya!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into the ADA together making out. 

Chapter 10

AN: if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b’loody yosano isn’t a ungifted afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd organizations ok!

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I was really scared about Fyodoor all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 420. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GRANRODEO, Mother Mother and MCR. The other people in the band are B’loody Yosano, Vampire, Chuuya, Kunikida (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Ranpoe. Only today Chuuya and Vampire were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Chuuya was probably (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s(there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Bee Movie. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Horace! Are you OK?” B’loody Yosano asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Fyodor came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Dazai! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Chuuya. But if I don’t kill Dazai, then Fyodor, will fucking kill Chuuya!” I burst into tears.

Suddenly Chuuya jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser non-gifted bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Chuuya started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Fukazawa walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Horace Chuuya has been found in his room.”

Chapter 11

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Yosano tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Fukazawa chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Mitski song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Moori was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Hitritsue was masticating to it! They were sitting on their segways.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“No Longer Human!” he yelled at Mori and Hiritso pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Mori and Hitsue a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Fukaazawa ran in. “Horace, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Mori and Hitritsue and then he waved his sword and suddenly…

Ranpo ran outside on a segway and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Rampoe? You’re just a little ADA employee!”

“I MAY BE A ADA EMPLOYEE….” Ranpoe paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” More said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Fukuzuwu’s sword had stabbed him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Hiritsue held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Hitsue said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Ranpo said and he paused on the ground dramitaclly, waving his gun in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” More asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HER!”

Chapter 12

AN: how du u no More iant kristian plus ranpo isn’t really in luv wif whorish dat was poe ok!

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I was about to stab again with the silver knife that Chuuya had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS RANMpoe but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY BANDAGES HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my scars turned back into the lightning bolt!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have scars anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Chuuya…………….Fyodoor has him bondage!”

Anyway I was in the ADA’s nurse’s office now recovering from my wounds. Moori and Hitsueand RAMPOE were there too. They were going to Port Mafia after they recovered cause you can’t have those fucking pervs working in a office with lots of hot gurlz. Fukazawa had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Ranpo came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

“Whorice I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Ranpo had been mean to me before for being gottik.

“No Whorice.” Ranpo says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Mori and Hitsue.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

He pointed his gun at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .

“That’s not an ability that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute!)imo noto okayo!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

“OK I believe you now wtf is Chewya?”

Rammpo rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

“U c, Whoce,” Fukuzuwu said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Ranpo yelled. fUKUzawu lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Rammpo stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, Fuckuzawa-San!”

Anyway when I got better I went back home and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Nagito on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Misa from deathnote (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“You look kawai, girl.” B'loody Yosano said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Moore and Hitsu couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some crime scenes. Vampire was in the Hair of Able Ability Humans. He looked all depressed because Chuuya had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Chuuya. He was sucking some blood from a civilian.

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Dazai had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Chuuyas. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Kyou-San who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Chuuya!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCARS HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

“NO!” I ran up closer.

“I thought you didn’t have scars anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scars hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Chuuya…………….Fyodoor has him bondage!”

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Chapter 13

AN: PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

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Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Fukazawa. We were so scared.

“Fukazawa Fuukuzawu!” we both yelled. Fukazawa came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“Fedyadoor has Chuuya!” we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Chuuya!” we begged.

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Fyodor does to Chuuya. Not after how much he misbehaved in work especially with YOU WHORACE.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Vampire started crying. “My Chuuya!” he moaned.

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his phone and googled a map. Then…… suddenly we were in Fedyodor’s lair!

We ran in with our guns out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Cream and Punishment!”

It was……………………………….. Fyodor! 

Chapter 14

PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Fedor was. It turned out that Fyodor wasn’t there. Instead the skinny guy who killed Aktugawa was. Chuuya was there crying tears of blood. Vanya was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Vanya.

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “HoraceIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said.

“Huh?” I asked.

”Horace I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Vanya. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

“Vanya what art thou doing?” called Fyodor. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our segways and we flew to the ADA. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Chuuya taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B’loody Yosano because she’s not ugly or anything.”

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Chuuya.

“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Mori and Hiritsu took a video of me naked. Ranpoe says he’s in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Vanya is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Chuuya! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory whorish isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away. 

Chapter 15

AN: stup flaming ok!

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“Horace Horace!” shouted Chuuya sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Mary Shelley on it. She looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Chuuya and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. Then I looked at my black GCwatch and noticed it was time to go to another case.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said L all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced paper work. I was turning a report into a novel. Suddenly the novel turned to dAZAI!

“Whorice I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “TRASH CANDY” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Ueda was singing it) right in front of the entire room! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Ueda, Kisho, Hideya, Rui, and Ruki (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Dazai’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Scarlett (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CG in Gone wit teh wind. Then we went away holding hands. Hitritsue shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Yokohomo right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. 

Chapter 16

AN:BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!

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We ran happily to Yokohama. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Chuuya was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Fedyodoor and da Dekade Angelz!

“Wtf Chuuya im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

“We won’t do that again.” Chuuya promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

“Worace! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B’loody Yosano was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Kyoka that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her missions and she missed work.”

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Kyoka will die too.” I said.

“Kawai.” B’loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got fired I murdered her.”

“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with chewya tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

B’Loody Yoosano Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Yosano are u a PREP?”

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near the ADA that’s all.”

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Chewyu or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

“Fukuzuwu.” She sed. “Let me just call our segwys.”

“OMFFG FUKUZUWU?” I asked quietly.

“Yah I saw the map for Yokohama on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Yokohama. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN YUTA EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”

“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Yosano asked.

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Hitsue and moori tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Yosano.

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Whorace Wal’pol Ann TARA cliffe what’s yours?”

“Dost-kun.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf chewyu you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Ranpo flew in on his black segway looking worried. “OMFG WHORISH U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE OFFICE NOW!” 

Chapter 17

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dost-kun gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. Ranpoe kept shooting at us to cum back 2 dah ADA. “WTF Ranpoe?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Kyoka came. Rampo went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Kyoka’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Chuuya?” she asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

Well anyway Chuuya and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht I were 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘420’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Chuuya was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Yo was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called sushi but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Sushi converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Adanow. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Chhuya’s car that his dad Verlaine gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Chuuya and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif red eyes and a ushanka... Every1 ran away but me and Chuuya. Chuuya and I came. It was…….Fedyodoor and da Dekade Angelz!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Worace, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Chuuya!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his segway. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘Megan thee stallion’ on da back. He shotted a ability and fyoodor ran away. It was…………………………………FUKUZUWU! 

Chapter 18

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! ps da oder eson fuakazawa swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!

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I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(Da night before Chuuya and I rent back to the dorm. Fukuzawa chased Fyoodor away. We flew there on our segways. Mine was black and the tire-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Chuuya had a black MCR seggyway. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a cigarettes after sex song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Caffe. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ed Sheeran and One Direction.

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Yosano and Kyoka. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Mitski t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Kyoka was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Chuuya came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Kensho Ono or Yuto Uemura or Yuta Kishimoto.

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Sushi was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Fyoodor yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

“……………….FUKUZAWA?1!” we all gasped.

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Foedyor!”

“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”

Everyone from the poser table in dah guild started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.

“BTW you can call me Yukichi.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

“What a fucking poser!” Chuuya shouted angrily as we we to crime scene. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Kyoka shouted.

I was so fucking angry. 

Chapter 19, im nut ok i promise

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111

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All day we sat angerly finking about Fakazuwu. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the dorm room sadly to cut work. Chuuya was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Chuuya banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois

I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Rampo came. He had appearated.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”

Only it wasn’t just Rampo. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Dost-kun or maybe Chuuya but it was Fakuzawa.

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”

“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Chuuya has a surprise for u.” 

Chapter 20

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Fedydor had taken over the last one. I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Radiohead. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Chuuya so we could do it again.

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Hitsue! “

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.

“no”

“Fuker.” He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Morie and Hitsue were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Yumeno was watching!1

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Yumeno ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on but both of them were fuking preps.

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Hitsue shouted angrily.

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

“You dimwit!.” Moore began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Fukuzuwoot. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

“WTF where’d Chuuya?” I asked him.

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Vampire said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”

Then….. he showed me his car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Soda saso… had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR420 on it. The one on da back said ‘WHORE’ on it.

……….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Chuuya, cryin in a corner. 

Chapter 21

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later we all went in the orrfice. Chuuya was crying in da break room. “Chuuya are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.

“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid.

“Its ok Whorice.” said Vampire comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Chuuya. Vampire came too.

“Chuuya please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on.

And den we saw Chuuya crying n bustin in2 tearz outside of da office.

“Chuuya!” I cried. “R u okay?”

“I guess though.” Chuuya weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Chuuya and I decided to watch A Silent Voice (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Anglo and da Haunting Hounds walked into the office!1 

Chapter 22

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok iXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

All day everyone talked about the Haunting Houndz. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Yosano, Vampire, Diabolo, Chuuya, Dracula and Kyoka! I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Chuuya was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Keisuke Ueda, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Hideya Tawada. B’loody Yosano was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Naomi) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Tanizaki and Kenji. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Worice something is really fucked up.” Chuuya said.

“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Chuuya said in a sexy voice.

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the caffe and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from the guild was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Ariana Grande t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the cafe we could see Fukasawa. Anglo SakkaGucci was there shouting at FUkazawa. Terriko Okura was there too.

“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE OFFICE MUST BE CLOSED!”

“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE EMPLOYEES!” yelled Anglo SakaGucci.

“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRESIDENT ANY LONGER!” yelled Terriko. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR FYODOR WILL KILL YOUR EMPLOYEES!”

“Very well.” Fukazawa said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the office There is only one person who is capable of killing Fyodor and she is in the office. And her name is…………………………………………………………………..Horace Walpole Ann Rad cliffe.”

Chuuya, Tanizaki, Kenji, Darkness, Kyoka, Vampire and B’loody Yosano looked at each other………I gasped.

Chapter 23

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!

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The door opened and Terriko and Anglo SakaGucci stomped out angrily. Then Fuukzawu and Terriko sawed us.

“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Terriko shouted angrily. Fukazawa blared at her.

“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other employees. I sat between Darkness and Chuuya and opposite B’loody Yosano. Tanizaki and Kenji started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some ramen and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Vampire! He and Chuuya were shooting at eachother.

“Vampire, Chuuya WTF?” I asked.

“You fucking bustard!” yelled Chuuya at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”

“No I do!” shouted.

“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Chhuya.

“No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!” shouted Vampire. And then……………… he jumped on Chhuya! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Fukazawa yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible man with red eyes and a ushanka flew in on his rat. He had a ushanka and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Chuuya stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Fedyador!

“Whorice…..Horace…….” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Chuuya too!”

“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.

“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Chuuya and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Fedyorat coming to kill Chuuya.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

“Horace Horacey aure you alright?” asked Chuuya in a worried voice.

“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.

“Everyfing’s all right Whorice.” said Vampire all sensetive.

“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”

“Its ok gurl.” said B’loody Yosano. “Maybe u should ask Kiyou about what the visions mean though.”

“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went. 

Chapter 24

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!

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Well we had a meeting next so I got to ask Kyou about the visions.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Kyou-San in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking executive ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (she n b’loody Yosno get along grate) She’s really young for a executive. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black workroomm with pastors of Doja Cat. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it Horace?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” she asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK meeting fucking dismissed every1.” Kyou-San said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) edits on page 3.”

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Chuuya gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” she asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Chuuya. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Killyou.

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.

I went to Chuuya and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Chuuya together and I was so exhibited. 

Chapter 25

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111

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I was so excited. I fellowed Chuuya wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went onto Chuuya’s red motorcycle.

“Horace what the fuck did Profesor Kyou say.” whispered Chuuya potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the motorcycle into a tree. We went to the top of it. Chuuya put on some MCR.

“And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

“OMFG Chuuya Chuuya!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a white guy was shooting two goffik men.

“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.

“Whorace what’s wrong?” Chuuya asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Chuuya to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Verlaine and Soda!111 

Chapter 26

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep!

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A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Nirvana t-shirt.

“Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Chuuya hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

“Oh fuck it!” Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”

“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Fukazawu.”

We ran out of the tree and in2 da office. Fakuzuwa was sitting in his office.

“Sire are dads have been shot!” Chuuya said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Whorish had a vision in a dreem.”

Fukuzuwu started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Horace’s not divisional?”

I glared at Fukazawa.

“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Fukazawa gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Soda and Verlaine- pornto!”

“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Toykio.” I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Chuuya, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Chuuya to wait in the nurses office. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Soda and Verlaine came in on stretchers……………………….and Killyou was behind them!1

Chapter 27, vampirz wil never hurt u

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111

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Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Chuyu, Verlaine, Soda bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Whorish.” said Kyou. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Verlaine, Sodas, Chew and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Killyou-San took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Yosano had. “When Fedodor was in Mutha rUSSIA before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Fedyadoor if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Chuuya and Vampire.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Kyoka and Boldy Yosano?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Verlaine and Oda being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Chuuya. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Fuukzaawa. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even the Bald Guy looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Tanizaki and Kengee set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls..

I put on my coke with Vampire and Chuuya and we sneaked outside 2gether. 

Chapter 28

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK!

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We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GRAN RODEOR and teh GAZette all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Chewyu and Vampire.

“Are you okay?” Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.

“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Chewya also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Fedyoda. Ill have 2 go bak in time”

Chuuya started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.

“Itz okay Whoace.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”

“Of coarse not!” I gasped.

“Really?” he asked.

“Sure.” I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then………… I took off Chuuya’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Whorish on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

“I love you Whorace. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….

“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”

It was………………………….Moorie and Kyou-San!111 

Chapter 29

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 MCR ROX 666!111111111111

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“Oh my satan!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. More and Kyou-San started to shoot at us angrily.

“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher Kyou yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Moore garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

“Hey what the fuck!111” Vampire shooted angrily.

“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Chuuya demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. “Look, Fukzuwa noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango’s. So give back da camera!1111”

Hahahaha the Hunting Houndz thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Moore laughed meanly.

“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Kyou-San. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Chuuya started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom).

I started to cry tearz of blood. Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then……………….. he and Moore both took out guns. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my gun.

“Castle of Udolpho!” I shouted. More stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA ABILITY. Killyou-San did a ability so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Orgy I’m going 2 go now.” She left. More started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

“It’s ok Whoice.” said Chuuya. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Moorii.”

Mori laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

Chapter 30

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“No!11” we screamed sadly. More stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then…………………… he came tords Chawu!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Chuuya and nit a candle.

“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Moore laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Rat Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

He waved his gun and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

“U must stab Vrompire.” he said to me.

“No you fucking bastrad!1” I yielded.

But den Chuuya looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Ueda. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Chuuya and Fuukzawu came. Miro laughed angrily. He started to prey to Fyodoor. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Chuuya and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Chewya and Vampire so they would destruct Mori.

“Fuukzau will get u!” Chuuya shooted.

“Yah just wait ubtil da Government find out!11” Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my gun.

“You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Moorrii yielded.

“Castle of mystery!” I shited pointing my wound. Mooree scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Soda. I stopped doing castle of mystery.

“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Moore but suddenly Mori came.

Moorie put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Veerlane and Profesor Kyou came in2 da room and they and Soda unlocked the chains and put dem around More. Then Kyou-San said ‘Come on Horace let’s go.” 

Chapter 31

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin horace a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111

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“I always knew u were on Fyodor’s side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111).” Soda said 2 Mori.

“No I’m not I was teaching them somefing!1” More clamed.

“Oh fucking yeah?” I took some blak Redbull out of my poket and gave it to Mori. He made Mori dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Verlaine took out a tape recorder and started playing it. Then Killyou-san and Verlaine made us get out wif them while Mori told his secretes. Verlaine took Vampure and Chuuya to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Kyou-San took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Fedydor. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Akiko, Darkness and Kyoka came too. B’loody Yosano gave me a blak bag from Dost-kun’s store.

“Whatz in da bag?” I asked Kyou-San.

“U will c.” she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Kyoka had chosen. Kyoka and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

“You look fucking kawaii, bitch.” B’loody Yosano said.

“Fangs.” I said.

“Ok now you’re going to go back in tim.” said Killyou-San. “U will have to do it in a few sessionz.” She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. “After an hour use da time torner to go back here.” Kyou-Sam said. Then she and B’loody Yosano put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

“Good luk!1” Everryone shooted. Darkess and Kyoka gave me deth’s touch sin. Then……….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh office. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Yuta Kishimoto only black. He had violent eyes like Akira Ishida and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was……………………. Fedya Dostoyvestkey!1111 

Chapter 32

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

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“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Whorish Cliff da new employee.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

“Da name’s Fedya.” he said. “But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam”

We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go upstairs.” Satan said. I followed him. “Hey Satan……..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?” (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Satan gasped. “actually I like gc a lot too.”(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)

“omg me too!” I replied happily.

“guess what they have a concert in Leningrad.” satan whispered.

“Leningrad?” I asked.

“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it became St.Petersburg in 1991.” he told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Hot-“

‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. “noo its called Hot Ishoo.” He smiled skrtvli again. “then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic.” he moaned.

“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is Fukuzawa your President?” I shouted.

“uh-huh.” he looked at his black nails. “im in ada’”

“OMfG SHME TOO!” I SHRIEDKED.

“u go to this orrfice?” he asked.

“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly Fukuzuwa flew in on his sexway and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE STREETS!” he had short grey hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”

satan rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re in ada and we’re not preps.”

I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord.”

“wtf?” he asked angrily.

“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”

“hey where r u goin?” satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in Kyou-San’s office. Fukyouzawa wuz dere. “Fuukzawu I think I just met u.” I said.

“oh yeah I rememba that.” Fukazawuua said, trying to be all goffik.

Killyou came in. “hey dis is my office wait wtf Whorice what da hell r u doing?”

”um.” I looked at her.

“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”

“wth how?” I screamed forgetting she was a executive for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

Killyou-San looked sad. “um I was drinking wine.” she started to cry black tears of depression. Fuukzawu didn’t know about them.

“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

“fuck off!” we both said and Fukuzawua took his hand away.

Kyou-San started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg Whorish…I think im addicted to wine.”

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112 

Chapter 33

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don’t lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 XXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u 2 St Manga’s, bitch?”

“Hel no!” she said. “Lizzen Whorce, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Fedya Vestkey 4 sum help?”

“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Chuuya was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GRAN RODEO tshit which wuz his panamas.

“Hey Sexxy.” I said.

“How’d it go WHorsh?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Kaisuke Ueda when hes talking.

“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da appartment.

“How far did u go wif Satan?” Chewyu asked jealously.

“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.

“Will you hav to do it with him?” Chhuya asked angstily.

“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Chawyu put on ‘desolition liverz’ by MCR. Den………………………………………….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.

“Oh Chhuya!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Chuuya!1111” I screemed passively as he got an eructation.

“I luv u TaWhoree.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

Chapter 34

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111

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I wook up in da coffin de next day. Chuuya waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blakfishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…………………. Soda cocked on da door. I hopened it.

“Hi Horice.” he said. “Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Killyou-San’s office.”

“Ok.” I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Chuuya or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.

“So what the fuck happened 2 Morie and Hitsue?” I asked Soda flirtily.

“I fucking tortured them.” he answered in a statistic way. “They r in Mortso now, lol.”

I laughed evilly.

“Where r Chuuya and Vampira?” I muttered.

“Dey are xcused form wrook 2day.” Sodomize moaned sexily. “Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas.”

We went into da office. Killyou-Sanr was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

( http/ She wuz drinking some wine.

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

“Whorish, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited.” she said sadly. “Good luck. Fangz!”

And then……….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around……………I was in da Mutha Russa drinking vodka. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed……he was drinking a portent.

“Whose he!11” I asked.

“Oh, datz Doktor Slutborn.” Satan said. “He’s da forensiks guy…………..Horace?”

“Yah?” I asked.

“Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Leningrad tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat.”

“Yah?”

“Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?” 

Chapter 35, gost of u

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.

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I went in2 da brake room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped………………..Chuya wuz there!111

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

“Chuuya what da fuk r u dong!111111” I gosped.

“Huh?” he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn’t Chuuya. It was Verlaine!1 He stil had two arms.

“Oh hi Verlaine!1” I sed. “Im Whorice the new employee lol we shook handz.”

“Yah Satan told me abot you.” Verlane said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner reeding. It wuz Soda, Vampire’s dad and………………Mori! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Sund Gardan band shirts. “Lizzen I’m in a goth band wif those guys.” he said. “Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

ORLY I ESKED.

“Yeah.” he said. “Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Sigma balls plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “Mori plays the boss. And Bram plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring.”

“Hey bastards.” I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. “But don’t u have a lead singer!” I asked. Verlaine looked dawn sadly.

“We uzd to but she did.”

“Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1” I gasped.

“Its okay but we need a new led snigger.” Samaro said.

“Wel………..I said Im in a bnad myself.”

“Rilly?” asked More. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

“Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 420. Do u wanna hr me sing?”

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi Gurn Day.

“I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz.” I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

“Whoricey? Will u join da band? Plz!1” begged Verlaine, Samoro, Soda and More.

“Um…….ok.” I shrugged. “Are we gong to play tonight?”

“Yah.” they said.

“Ok.” I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Mushy Tarot!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

“What da hell r u dong here!11” I asked.

“I wil help u go frowad in tim Whorice.” he said siriusly Den……….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and……………………..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111 

Chapter 36

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Kyou-San. B’lody Yosano, Socrates and Chuuya, Vampire and Kyoka were their to.

“OMFG Soda I saw u nd Samaro and More nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev More uzd 2 b goffik!111111”

“Yah I no.” Soda said sadly.

“Oh hey there bitch.” Kyou-San said in an emo voice dirnking some wine.

Hi fuker.” I said. “Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I’m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too.”

“Oh my satan!1” (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped B’lody Yosano. “Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?”

“OMFS, letz have a groop poetree session!11” said Kyou-San.

“I can’t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first.” said Kyoka.

“Yah we need sum portions for Kyou-San so she wont be adikted 2 wineanymore nd also………….sum luv potion 4 Whorice.” Chewyeah said resultantly.

“Well we have wok now.” Kyoka said so let’s go.

We went sexily to work. But More wasn’t there. Instead there was…………………………………………Anglo Suckyougucci!11111

“Hey where the fuck is Fukazawa!111” Chuuya shouted angrily.

“STFU!1” shooted Anglo SuckyouGucci. “He is in Moreso now wif More and Hitritsue he is old and week he has kancer. “Now do ur work!111”

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

“Can you BELEVE More used to be gottik!1” Vampire asked surprisedly.

“DATZ IT!11” ANGLE GUCCI SHOOTED ARNGRILY. “IM GETTING TERRIBLE-SAN!111”

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. Suddenly I saw Ranpo in da cupboard.

“WTF is he doing?” I asked. Then I looked at Chuuya. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly……………“RAMPOE WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11” he shooted.

I looked around…………….Rampnpoe wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Chewya and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.

“God u r such a posr!1” I shooted at Ranpo. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was………………creme soda!111 

Chapter 37

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!

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CHEWYAHS PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire and I chaind Ranpoe 2 da floor.

“Oh mi fucking satan!11” Whorice said. She wuz so hot. “Maybe I cud uze cream soda 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1”

“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,” said Vampire. “Why would u need it?”

“To make everyfing go faster lol.” said Whorish.

“But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?” I asked jelosly.

“OMFG u guyz r so scary!11” said Britney, a fucking prep.

“Shut the fuk up!1” said Kyoka.

“Ok well anyway lets go 2 Kyou-San’s room.”

Chuuya, Whorace and I went to Kyou san’s room. But Kyou-san wasn’t there. Instead Dost-kun was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ‘69’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

“OMG fangz!” I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.

“OK Kyou-san isnt hr what the fuk should we do?” asked Chuuya. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

“Oh my fuking satan!1” I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Kyou-san is away. She is too gottik she is in Moresalt now. Meetings shal be held by Fuckzawa who is bak but he shall not be pesident 4 now. Sincerely Terrible-San.

“OMFG!111” I shoted arngrily. “How could they do that!11”

Suddenly Fukazawa came.

“WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1” he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Mushy Tarot’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Chuuya and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was……………Doktor Slutborn’s efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da crème soda on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz……..Doktor Slutgorn!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz a meeting.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da soda in ur pocket.

“Oh ok u can go now.” said Doctor Slutborn.

You went to the brake room after putting on my clothes. Sigma, Samaro and More were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

“Oh hi you guys.” I said seductively. “Wheres Satan?”

“Oh he’s cumming.” said Soda. “BTW u can kall me Hades now.” Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.

“Ok I will see you guyz at da concert.” I said and then I went with Satan. 

Chapter 38

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

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Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 420 just lik Chuuya’s car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), reeding, musik and being goffik.

“Oh my satan, Yuta is so fuking hot!11” Fyoodoor agreed as we smoked sum weed.

“Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I reed book.” I said in a flirty voice. “……….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 wine?”

“Well………………” he thought. “I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod.”

Suddenly Frodor parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan’s gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum cream soda in it. I put it bak in his blak Soound Garten bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.

“OMG!111” Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. “Whorace gess what?”

I new that the kream had worked.

“Cream soda has not been invented yet so it will not work.” He said. “2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u.”

“Kul.” I raised my eye suggestingly. And den………. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

“Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111” shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.

“Fuk u!11” I said. Suddenly…………………. I attaked her suking all her blood.

“Noooooo!11” she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.

“Zomg how did u do that?” Fedyadoor asked in a turned-on voice.

“I’m a vampire.” I said as we went into the car.

“Siriusly?” he gasped.

“Yah siriusly.” I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.

“Itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c da rest of the movie, don’t u fink?”

“Yah.” I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Chuuya and I had watched Gran Rodeo for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

“Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111” screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Yuta Kishimoto. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.

“I wood like to peasant……………..XBlakXTearX!11” he said. I ran onstage. Verlaine, Samaro, More and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.

“Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111” I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Kisho Taniyama. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. “I’M NUT OKAY!1” I sang finaly. Suddenly Verlaine started playing da song nobody by mistak.

“OMFG!1” yielded Sigma. “Wut the fuck?”

“Woops im sory!” said Verlaine.

“You fuking ashhole!1” Sigma shouted angrily.

“U guys are such prepz!11” More said. “Cum on it wuz a mistake!1”

“Yah itz not his fault!11” said Soda.

“No he ruined the fucking song!1” yelled Samaro.

“U guys stop!11” I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

“OMFG no!11” shouted Verlaine but it wuz 2 late sigma tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11

“No!111” yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.

Chapter 39, I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

(troll version)

Disclaimer: I do not own the BSD series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Horace."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

B'loody Yosano Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Horace's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Fukazawa, Killyou, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Horace. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the BSD characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Dazai and Fyodor started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Yosano and Ranpo fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Horace shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Horace realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Horace supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Horace hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Horace frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Horace tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Horace bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Horace mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

Chapter 39

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

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I woke up in da Norse’s offace on a special gothik coffin. Ranpoe wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Chuuya had bet him up. The Bald Guy was cleaning the room.

“Oh mi satan wut happened!” I screamed. Suddenly Frodoor came. He loked less mean then usual.

“Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11” I yielded.

“Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11” he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

“Fedyador? OMFG what’s wrong!111” I asked.

Sudenly………. Verlaine, Kyou-San and Soda came! B’lody Yosano and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. FEDYADEEZNUTS DISAPAERD.

“OMFG Horice ur alive!111” Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B’lody Yosano.

“What the fuk happened?” I asked dem. “Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?” I gosped.

“Whorish u were almost shot!11” said Soda. “But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time.”

“But fangz anyway!1” said Verlaine holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

“OMG I cant beleve Vampirz’ dad shot u!1” I gasped.

“Well 2 be honest Mori wuz pozzesd by More bak den.” said Sigma.

“Yah he wuz a spy.” Soda said sadly. “He wuz really a delayed angle.”

“And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11” said Verlaine. “He didn’t even realy no hu GC were until I told him.” Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. The Bald Guy looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Chuuya?” I asked gothikally.

“No Chuuya told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Kyou-San. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1”

I got up suicidally. Verlaine, Soda and Kyou-San left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don’t get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital’s wings wif B’lody Yosano, Kyoka and Vampire.

“OMFG letz celebrate!11” gasped Kyoka.

“We can go c Hose of Wax wif Chuuya!1” giggled Vampire.

“Letz go lizzen 2 GC 666!11” said Akiko. We opened da brake room door sexily. And den………..I gasped……………………………………… Chuuya wuz there doing it wif More!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

“U fucking prep!11” we all yielded angrily.

“Yah u betrayed us!111” shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.

“No u don’t understand!1” screamed Chuuya sadly as he took his thingie out of More’s.

“No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111” said Kyoka trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

“Hworace no!11111” screamed Chuuya but it wuz 2 l8 I had stab wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains. 

Chapter 40, LOL! Someone has taken my account over!

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us... Have a nice day!

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

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Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...  

Chapter 41

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new season kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG chuuya iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new season!!!111 XXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatlescalander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’

“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually Fyodorr 4 photo refrenss!). Fyodoor wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11

“OMFG Whorice r u ok.” He asked gothikally.

“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Sigma’s gun. I also rememberd cing Chewyeah doing it wif More!!!!111

I guessed dat when I had stabbed I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

“No ur not dead.” Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. “Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Dazed’s dad is doing.”

I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! Sigma almust shot Veerlane!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that Sigma had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew.

“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Satan reasoned evilly.

“I guess that’s ok.” I said because Sigma hadn’t really shot Verlaine. Also I noo that Verlaine wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik guy!!!!!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” He sed all qwietly and goffically.

“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

“Dis is…Gogol!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Fedydoor. “He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.

“Hey Gogol.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

“Lol hi Whorice.” He answered but then he ran away bcos he had able of ability humans 2 murdah. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)

“Bye.” I sed all sexily.

“Dat was Gogol. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up.” Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).

“Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Google. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da cafe. “Cum on u guys.”

Verlaine, Sigma, Soda and Morei were all in da caffel. Verlaine woudnt talk wiv Sigma because he had tried 2 shoot him.

“Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Chewyeah is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!!1”

“Yah go fuck urself Samaro!” Mori agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt Sigma had almost shot Verlaine.

“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Fyodor good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire’s dad wood never die and “OK Satan and Google, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.

“Kool.” said Soda as Fyodor and Gogol started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Soda, Mori and Verlaine all watched

“Oh my fukking god!!!! Fyodoor! Fyodoor!” screamed Google as his glock touched Fyodor’s.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………Fukazawu and the Bald Guy!!!!111111111111  

Chapter 42, da blak parade

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. omg I hope chuuya nd dazai get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX420XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sat depressedly in Fuckzawa’s office wiv Gogol, Satan, Sigmas, Soda, More and Verlaine. Fukazawa was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.

“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time.

“Whatever u do don’t blame Worace, u jerk.” Satan said.

“Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Gogol back together.” Soda said deviantly.

“Be quiet you Satanists.” Fukazawa cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to Moresalt!!! That will teach u to copolate in da caffel.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Fukuzuwu didn’t notece.

“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.

“I bet you’ve never herd of Gran Rodeo.” Sigma said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Mushy-Tarot’s tim machine!!!!!11

“Shut up Sagma!!!” Chewya’s dad shouted.

“Yeah shut up!!!!” Morie said preppily.

“No u shut up Fuckuzoowa!!!!!!!!1111” said Mushy.

“I’ve had enough of u Satanists in my office!!!!” shouted Fukazawa spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Satan.

“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Fukazawa wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Ada brake room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.

“Hey kool where iz dis?” he asked in an emo voice.

“Dis is da future. Fukazawa’s iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told him.

“Kool what’s an ipatch?” he whimpered.

“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music.” I yakked.

“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” he esked in his sexah voice.

“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.

“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said Naomi wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black panic at the Disco! shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.

“Konichiwa, bitch.” said Kyoka. She was wearing a blak corset with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

“Hey, motherfucker.” Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

“Hey whose that, Worace?” B’loody Yosano questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

“Oh its Satan.” I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

“Are you okay Satan?” we asked concernedly.

“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” he asked.

“No I still like you.” I said sexily to him.

“Ok.” He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Killyou-San ran in!!!!!!!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

“Oh my fucking god, where’s Chuuya!!!!111 How did More get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in MoreSo.” I asked sadly.

“Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re a vrompire. Mori came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad waitress.” Kyou said reassuredly.

“That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Ranpo and hITSUE?” I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.

“Yes they are on the loose at this school. Fuckuzawa is back Anglo is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their brake room!!!!!!” Kyou-San said worriedly.

“OK. But where’s Cuuyeah???? How cum he was doing it with More?????”

Satan was still asleep, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.

“Good luck Tara!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Caffe while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.

“No, your totally a bitch. Now Fyodor will like totally kill u!” she laughed.

“Castle of Mystery!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Mori and Hitsue had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Fedydoor doing it with Gogol onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da caffa I saw Vampire Osamu. “OMG Vampira!!!!111” I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Hideya than ever “I wus so worried you died!” moaned Vampire.

“I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1991, so neway I bought Fedydor from when he was yung with me.”

“Where’s Chuuya?” I asked spuriously.

“Chuuya? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.

“I’ll do it den.” Dazai said angstily.

“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da Rat Mark appeared.

“Oh my fucking satan!!!!!” Dazai shouted.

“I fink Fyodor has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Chuuya!!1 I guess we shood separate.”

“Ok.” Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Cafe.  

Chapter 43

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!!!!!!!!!111111 if u flam den fukk u!!!111

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I walked sexily into the cafe. It was empty except for one person. Chhuyawas there!! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. I felt mad at him for having sexwith Mori but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Kaisuke Ueda with his red eyes and his pale white face.

“Chuuya are you okay????” I asked.

“I’m not okay.” he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

“I-” Chuuya began to say but suddenly Lupin and the Bald Guy appearated in2 da room!! They didn’t see us.

“Im so glad we me and Mori were freed.” said Hitsue.

“Dam, this job would be great if it wasn’t 4 da fukking students!” Bald Guy argreed.

“The Castle of Otranto’s Mystery!!!!!111” I yielded angrily pointing my gun at them.

“Noooooooo!!!!1” Hitrotsu shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.

“You fukking perv.” I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. “Now u have 2 tell us where Fyodoor is or I’m gong 2 torture u!!!!”

“I don’t now where he is!!!!1111” said Hitrotsue. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn’t know who Satan was really.

“Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!!1” Vampire said. I looked sexily at Chuuya with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Kaisuke Ueda, Vampir with his sexy bron hair and red eyes just like Hideya Tawada and Satan who looked jist like Yuta Kishimoto then.

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Chuuya sexily. Hitsue gasped. Chuuya began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. “Oh mi satan!! Chuuya!!!!” I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Dazai. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. “OMS!!!111” cried Vampire. “Oh Vampire! Vampire!!!” I screamed screamed. “Oh Satan!!!!!” yelled Dazai in pleasore. Hitrotsus watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture abilities on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly……………………………..

………….a big blak car that said 420 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Moori wuz in it!!!!!!!11 

Chapter 44

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da season!!!1 chuuya is so hot lol i hop dazai wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis arc!!!!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

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“Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Chuuya angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz………….Mori!!!!!

“I shall free you Hiritshu but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Horace Walpole Ann Rad Cliffe must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!!!!”

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!!!!1 But Satan didn’t change. Instead he changed into a man with vilet eyes, a ushanka, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into………… Fyodoore!!!!!!!111

“I knew who thou were all along.” he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!” Thunder came in da room.

“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Kyoka, B’loody Yosano, Diabolo, Naomi, Drocula, Gin and Tachyhara, Ranpoe, Killyoukyou, Fakazuwa, Soda and Verlaine all ran in.

“What is da meaning of dis?” Fuukuzuuwa asked all angrily and Fyodoor lookd away (bcos Fuukuzuuwa is da only ability loser he is scared of.) He did a ability and suddenly his segway came to him sexily. Fyodoor flew above the roof evilly on his sexway.

“Oh my goth!” Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)

“The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!” Mori ejaculated menacingly.

“You fucking preppy posers!” Soda shouted angrily.

“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, NO LONGER HUMAN!!!” screamed Dazai but da bullets from his gun only hit Chuuya’s car. It fell down Mori quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

“Oh my fucking god!!!1” I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Chewyah and the video of Satan doing it with

“If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the orrfice. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton.” He laughed meanly.

“No!” I scremed. “FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Hitsue!!!!11”

“Whats she talking abott??????” Hiritshu slurped as he sat in chains.

“I saw 2 she’s gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111” Dazai shouted angrily.

“Shut up!!!111’”Hiroshitsu roared.

“Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!” yielded Fyodor from his segway. “Thou shall all dye soon.”

“Think again you fucking muggle poser!!!!!1” Dazai yelled and then he and Diablo and Sushi both took out blak guns! But Fyodoor took out his own one.

“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.

“Crime and Punish Sushi’s gun!!!11” cried Fedyayodoor nd suddenly Sushi’s gone was in his hands. “Now I shall kill thee all and Whorish u will die!!!!!!!!11111”

He maid lighting come all over da place.

“Save us Horace!” Fuckuzawa cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the break room with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Chuuya but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

“THE MYSTERY OF OTRONTO CASTLE!!!!!!!!!!!11111” I shooted.

[austerulous]

◈   @pohlepen said:   ❛ [ NAP ] for horace 💕 ❜  //  domestic intimacy prompts

Utterly fucked, they had spewed out of the taxi and into the street, all liquor fumes and cigarette smoke.  They fumbled with clinking keys and stumbled up the stairs, bruising their shins on the ascent. Memories of the bassline beat its fists on the walls, ringing dully in his ears.  Alcohol soured in the pit of his stomach, chemicals burning in his bloodstream.  Too loud, too much.

Somewhere along the way, as they staggered and waded through that tumultuous dark, Horace had lost Frankie.  Perhaps she had slunk away to piss, or to pour a glass of water – if she was sober enough for such sensibility.  Alone, he toed off his shoes and fell for the final time that night, into bed, half-undressed.  

They shared in all the filthy intimacies that came with a friendship of this weight and shape.  As he began to drowse on the edges of dreamless slumber, there came a rustle of blankets, a shift in the mattress.  Languid arms opened almost reflexively, cradling and clinging.  Too dark to sign, despite the halogen street-light glow pooling on the carpet, they settled into comfortable, buzzing silence.  Nudging up the hem of her shirt, Horace drew idle patterns against her waist, burning his affection into her skin.  Frankie was a flame he would never hesitate to touch.

[goodeveningjasper]

Gigis Swynwrimo Task 13

What’s in Jaspers closet?

Red Knit Sweater - The only outer layer Jasper had as a toddler. Worn at times when it was too big all the way until it was too small. An autumn and winter essential.

The School Unifom - When his parents decided to take all their savings and put it towards their boys school that meant a switch to uniforms. Arthur, Jasper, and Horace all received hand me down ill fitting uniforms from the more well off family’s from a few streets over.

Red Knit Stocking Cap - A repurpose of the red knit sweater. Jaspers parent couldn’t afford clothes outside of school necessity. One Horace grew out of the old red sweater Jaspers mother fashioned it into three red hats to include a pom pom ball made from scraps.

Maroon T-Shirt: A bargain bin grab from a consignment shop. There was never a fresh set of clothes in the Badun house yet Jasper seemed to be the only one to care. A simple maroon shirt used as an everyday item - eventually given to Horace if it fit.

Medals - Awarded to a service member gradually over their years of service. Some given for good conduct, some given for just being in a certain AOR (area of responsibility), some are for participation in certain battles, and in Jaspers case some are awarded from the Queen for bravery and servitude. A decorated servant and OBE.

Brown Dress Jacket - An outer layer of a dress uniform is a jacket but it is so much more than that. Fashioned with rank and title it can be accompanied with medals or rate specific touches that are worn proudly. Jasper is a Navy Diver and proudly wears the diver helmet on the right side of his chest.

Churchill Jacket - A brown bomber jacket given to all E6 and above in the Royal Navy as an option for organizational clothing. Jasper wore it daily in the winter months and a lax form of dress while still in service dress.

Dress Blues Cover - One of the only dress covers still in rotation from decades before. The dress blue cover is a fitted item with rank and insignia embellished along the leather strap just above the brim. The red fabric is an English reminder of those who have fought before us. Jasper has collected his last two dress blue covers for a shadow box.

Underway Uniform- A least favorite of most due to its flame resistant fabric and drab coloring. Navy’s world wide have switched to a fabric as a safety measure but forget the appropriate coloring blends with the surrounding waters. Blue, brown, and green do not favor a man overboard.

Vest/Kit- A 30 pound vest filled with thick Kevlar plates is proper mission attire. A sailor cannot be armed without in full kit. A first level of defense from adversary weapons it is also utilized as a carrier for all mandatory gear. Mollied across the fronts and sides are every essential item someone could need; extra ammo, tourniquet, med pouch, flash light, an overboard beacon, and even a whistle. All 30lbs isn’t complete until your rifle is draped across your body like a sash to add a final 5 lbs.

Horse Collar- Along the top of every divers vest is a horse collar. A simple term given for looks to one of the most important pieces of life saving equipment. Wrapped up over the shoulders and down the chest is an emergency flotation device. Attached to every kit this item is a self acting life preserver when hit at a certain impact, reaches a certain depth, or manually inflated bill of rip cord.

Fins & Mask- Blood sweet and tears line the insides of every Divers mask and fins. Practical extension of the body they are two essentials that every diver needs to complete their mission. Draped over their shoulders in most pictures a Diver rarely is seen without them attached to their kit while on mission.

The essence of business and a proper gentleman. Jasper saw business men and men of stature all his life. Watching as they pass on by his own father in his dirty clothes without even a second glance. Every piece of clothing Jasper wears now is the epitome of those men he watched all his life. A vintage flare but dress pants, dress shirt, a vest, and an accent piece. Jasper played the part until he got the part - with persistence and smoke on his side he worked his way up the ranks of the business and political world. Each look is a creation of Jaspers essence and he rather be over dressed than underdressed - professional first.

[forgedroyalseal]

His Worst Nightmare

Chapter Six

Lady Pauline was not a violent woman. She knew that words held more power than fists and that the pen was mightier than the sword. She truly believed that there was never a problem that couldn’t be avoided with diplomacy if properly addressed.

She was also sixty seconds away from throwing Halt into a moat.

“Tell me what happened O’Carrick or I swear to god I will make you regret ever meeting me!” Pauline’s hands twitched at her side, desperately wanted to run her hand through her hair in frustration. But she resisted. The carefully pin coils had taken the better part of an hour and it was not yet midday. She still had several meetings that she had to look somewhat presentable for.

“Leave it be Pauline. I don’t know how many times I have to say it!” Halt shouted. Before this week, he had never shouted at her. Now it seemed as though all he did was yell. Or cry, but he tried to pretend otherwise. The first couple days after Halt had moved into Redmont, he had been a silent shadow of himself. He hadn’t said a word about what prompted the move. Even now, all he ever said was that he wished to be left alone. But Pauline refused. She knew something bad had happened. Something horrific. Something that kept Halt awake each night if the purple bruises below his eyes were any indication. She had tried everything she could think of. She had been gentle. Reassuring. Kind. She had used every tactic to open communication she had been taught. She had been empathetic and supportive and patient. And now, she was being angry and pushy.

“Halt, please. You can’t just bottle this up like you try to do with every other emotion you have. This secret is killing you, and I for one refuse to watch it consume you.”

“Go away.” He growled

“Not happening.” She matched his tone.

There was a knock at the door and a familiar head of flaming hair appeared in the doorway. Pauline sighed in relief. “Finally, my reinforcements have arrived.”

“Lady Pauline, always a pleasure.” Crowley smiled before walking over to Halt. He crouched down in front of him so Halt was forced to look down into his eyes. “So, want to tell me what’s happened?”

“Go back to Castle Araluen Crowley.”

“That’s not happening until we get you sorted out. Now, if you won’t tell me as your friend, then you’ll have to tell me as your Commandant.”

“I resign.”

“I deny your resignation.”

“Crowley-“

“Pauline,” Crowley interrupts without breaking eye contact with Halt, “would you be dear and fetch Will? I’m afraid he’s the only other person who might be able to snake the story out of Halt and get him sorted.”

“No!” Halt leapt to his feet, eyes wide. “Leave him be.” The was a frantic note of panic in his voice and Pauline and Crowley shared a look. They had finally found the pressure point to lean on.

Crowley rose beside him, “Why? According to Gilan you said he’s hurt. Though it can’t be that bad since you’ve locked yourself in this room rather than helping Horace and Gilan take care of it. I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of making his way across town to come visit.”

“He’s not. He needs rest, not you two badgering him.”

“Will’s a sweet boy, he’ll be more than happy to check on you. He wouldn’t want you to be this upset, not if he can help.” Pauline reach out towards the door, but Halt lunged past her, slamming the door shut.

“Please, don’t bother him. Please.”

“Why not Halt? What’s happened to him? Why aren’t you with him?” Crowley’s voice was firm and authoritative.

“It’s my fault.” Halt’s resolve crumbled away with the words, the fight and anger leaving his body, replaced with waves of guilt. “I’m the one who hurt him.”

Pauline took his arm and gently steered them to the sofa. Crowley joined them and placed a hand on Halt’s shoulder. “Start at the beginning Halt. Tell us everything.”

And with a heavy sigh, he did. He spends the next hour describing every gruesome detail, unwilling to leave anything out, to minimize the roll he played in Will’s torture. He finishes with his letter to Horace and Will’s reaction to him once he finally came to. Fat tears ran down Crowley and Pauline’s faces, for Will condition of course, but also for the pain and guilt Halt carried.

“It’s not your fault.” Pauline grasped Halt’s hand in hers.

“Of course it is.” He pulled his hand away from her, clenching it into a fist. “I’m the one who hurt him. I’m the one he’s afraid of.”

Crowley began to protest but Halt cut him off. “And don’t say that it’s not my fault because I was forced. I’m the reason we were in that position to begin with. The man was after me. He wanted me to suffer, Will was just the means that he chose to do so. Time and time again Will has been hurt because of me, or because of the Corps. I should never have gotten involved in his life. Look at where it’s lead him.”

“Halt, Will chose to become a ranger. He put the work in, he fought for it. It’s what he wanted. He wasn’t forced into this life, and he certainly didn’t go in blind. Will is brave and has always wanted a life of adventure, if not with the rangers, then with the knights. Don’t discredit Will by pretending he wasn’t in control of his choices.” Crowley said firmly.

“And as for the matter of him being better off without your involvement,” Pauline added, “don’t forget how you found him. Orphaned, alone and scared. You provided with him sanctuary. You gave him a family. You saved him from a life as a nameless field worker and gave him a purpose. Don’t you dare wish all that away from him.”

“I don’t know how to fix this.” Halt admitted quietly.

“This isn’t something that can just be fixed. What’s done is done, the only thing we can do is support Will in anyway we can.” Pauline says. “And I promise that avoiding Will like he’s a leper isn’t supporting him.”

“We are all going to visit him first thing tomorrow. And I’m going to see if Rodney has any advice. He’s got more experience dealing with these type of injuries than I do.” Crowley stood, grateful to have a clear course of action.

Halt gives voice to his greatest fear. “What if he doesn’t want to see me? If he’s scared of me?”

“Then we try again the next day. And every day, until he’s ready to start mending the bond between you.” Pauline kisses Halt on the cheek. “Try to get some rest dear. We’ll be by in the morning.”

Once he was alone again, Halt moved towards the window and stared out to the forest’s edge, where he knew his little cabin stood, containing the most valuable thing in his life. Please give me chance Will. Please let me make this right.

[libidomechanica]

Untitled Composition # 10909

The herd, in the mark’d of my deeper     voice she link’d chance whereat Peona! Had he that filling     tinsel: who in the name!

Such thousand riders from his tempest     ranging to it, else divided for loving my will     never rue. Many moods

are faint fare, till, and the instead     of misery! But in pieces small old man sat, and in     stars, ’ she came to life. Or

me, nor in the floods the surgery,     so durable rose, and year by year, to chafe o’er, before,     half-control, supposed

are, or in the other down, sir.     Nor have bare thee to find his world or rival now! Who can     traces of Latona,

which happens in proof? Their pretty     Peg, my designed warm shall now no more I heard thee all rock,—     ’mong man, that the dust of

her still indistinctness; to commands;     does my objects the loud this head. Sweet-hearted in silence,     till shelter on, to

make a beam of fire-tailed exhalations,     gulphing waves upon here, then that thy foot into     the sea and heard in a

trice; that somewhere healthfull clear thro’     the horse. Although the day prepared, as Horace far; and where,     love, to cast as rubbish

tricks, and woman’s cold beneath that     vessel’s shrouded overwhelmed the comrade of sober golden     keys, to do it with

claim his point did every one, they     prate of earth and husband gave all be thy light to mix their     order next year’s bitterness—

too hard bright; and the wintry     seas. The messenger came way them happy state, in watching     written with most princess!

But she’s great plays becket harold:     A Drama queen sent messenger came quickly furze, and learn     this fingering; and all

be sword, to fret at all thine. Love     in thee the music fit for helps to the colour of the     child it stand ancient forth,

what makes hand glance with a shocks that     it is to die with long- batter’d in. So my most boughs at     you to seek they thus quell’d

now and the grape of the breast, and     he loved the dusk of seas on leagues of which needments, and the     same fast when there in those

maiden posies, and whitening heats     out Hem! And answer with silent space fulfil. And, if a     door were descried high Muses’

walk; seraphic flames, and one     who by the shall prove, and every limb; I felt the dungeons     may beat there some unfooted

plain; she would, indeed and give     us, then at myriads on thy Parnassus set them thy     praises; or, if we will

woo: the sands took silence all my     life, as whole; what were to overslide, to which thou hast been     me get marry with men.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(17)

Clockwork Angel - Cassandra Clare

( The infernal devices - book 1/3 )

12th February 2023

" You can keep it a secret," ... "But secrets have their own weight, and it can be a very heavy one."

" It isn't against the Law to be an idiot."

"... Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal."

" One must always be careful of books," ... "and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us."

" Only the very weak-minded refuse to be influenced by literature and poetry,"

" There's plenty of sense in nonsense sometimes, if you wish to look for it."

" Pulvis et umbra sumus. It's a line from Horace. ' We are dust and shadows.' ..."

" Everyone has something they can't live without."

Was her face nothing but a mask of flesh, irrelevant to her true self?

" Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion."

...the less you had, the more careful you had to be about everything you did have.

" Some people value sentiment over diamonds, ..."

" Perhaps you are the sort who would sacrifice yourself on the altar of principle, but I doubt it. Most of us do things for reasons that are more purely personal. For love, or for hate."

"... You need ask nothing of anyone. You need depend on no one. You are free, and that freedom is a gift."

" Camille walks delicately. Like a faun in the woods. Not like a duck." "I do not walk like a duck." "I like ducks," Jem observed diplomatically. "Especially the ones in Hyde Park." "Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?" "They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck."

"... The forgotten and lost. Those who will not be missed."

" The dead can tell no tales,"

" If your point is that there was a pretty girl in the room and it was distracting you, then I think I've taken your point handily." "You think she's pretty?" Will was surprised; Jem rarely opined on this sort of thing. "Yes, and you do too." "I hadn't noticed, really." "Yes you have, and I've noticed you noticing." Jem was smiling.

It was a terrible black place in himself that the fear came from, a dark voice he could only silence with anger, risk, and pain.

" Whatever you are physically," ... "male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy-all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. Whatever the colour, the shape, the design of the shade that conceals it, the flame inside the lamp remains the same. You are that flame."

" So you don't ever get angry at him?" Jem laughed out loud. "I would hardly say that. Sometimes I want to strangle him." "How on earth do you prevent yourself?" "I go to my favourite place in London," said Jem, "and I stand and look at the water, and I think about the continuity of life, and how the river rolls on, oblivious of the petty upsets in our lives." Tessa was fascinated. "Does that work?" "Not really, but after that I think about how I could kill him while he slept if I really wanted to, and then I feel better."

" There are more important things than being careful."

"... there is more to life than not dying."

"... sometimes the only choice is between acceptance and madness."

[wetthandss]

dark souls 3 spoilers, i beat the game for the first time

i beat soul of cinder, first try ever, which means that every single boss fought after pontiff sulyvahn (who i got stuck at in my first run of the game, and with the exception of yhorm because i killed him before pontiff) i fought and killed without dying even once.

the old demon king, aldrich, the dancer, dragonslayer armour, king oceiros, champion gundyr, the twin princes, the ancient wyvern, and the soul of cinder, all failed to kill me a single time on my first ever run of this game past pontiff. im thoroughly impressed with myself and i have transcended to the status of a god gamer.

bragging aside, i almost died during the soul of cinder fight when gwyn's motif was added in the second phase, that song is so sombre. the soul of cinder is all of the previous linkers of the fire, in physical form. i didnt want to become one of them so i got the fire keeper to put out the first flame for good. the unnatural cycle of it was suffering. within the dark there is peace again. i tried to marry anri, but the questline broke at the end because i had progressed too far before talking to anri in the catacombs and killing horace. that sucked. i really wish dark souls wasnt so convoluted with its character questlines because they brighten the experience so much, but when you aren't constantly looking over a wiki the average player is probably going to miss them entirely. overall i think its a little bit better than dark souls 2. so the order of quality is linear! 1 < 2 < 3. very very very good game. i used the greatsword and black iron set, btw if youre wondering about build. thats it. thats the whole build. some pretty normal rings, covetous serpent, estus, havel and chloranthy. i didnt fight the nameless king cause he doesnt look very interesting to me. maybe ill try it before NG+