books-i-finished-reading

[books-i-finished-reading]

(58)

Kim Jiyoung, born 1982 - Cho Nam-Joo

14th June 2024

... collective rage.

'... Why do I have to deny myself something I want right now to prepare for a future that may or may not come?'

... girls don't need special treatment - they just want the same responsibilities and opportunities.

... her daily life was a battlefield and she didn't have the luxury of being able to cater to someone else's well-being when she was at risk of getting bloodied if she let down her guard.

While offenders were in fear of losing a small part of their privilege, the victims were running the risk of losing everything.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(57)

One last stop - Casey McQuiston

13th June 2024

August Laundry does not trust people, but she trusts fried chicken.

"... Don't worry, I'll sage it."

"Remember the rules. Number one-" " Us verses everyone." "And number two-" "If they're gonna kill you, get their DNA under your fingernails."

... hoards like nuclear winter is coming,...

A warning light flashes somewhere in August's brain. Her mental field guide to making friends is a two-page pamphlet that just says: DON'T.

... social skills of a Pringles can,...

... bonded with her on a molecular level.

"Christ on a fucking bike,"

... she can't think of a single person within a thousand miles who gives a shit,...

... her soul will vacate the premises.

... feels every intelligent thought exit her skull.

Aal she can hear is the whisper of her brain cells flying out the emergency exit.

... it's another inconsequential quirk of someone she loves.

"... You've got a brighter glow than you realize."

... leather-clad disciples of darkness.

"Welcome to the building. Amenities include luxurious Worl War II-era plumbing and a vegetarian drag queen who can do your taxes."

"I've been in love with... for like, five hundred years."

... surrounded by people loving and being loved in all their messy, unpredictable ways, and she doesn't trust or understand it.

The older she's gotten, the more she prefers thinking of love as a hobby for other people, like rock climbing or knitting. Fine, enviable, even, but she doesn't feel like investing on the equipment.

Physically, August doesn't react, but spiritually, she's fully on fire.

She has this way of moving through the world like she owns every place she walks into, like she's never once been told she can't do something. She carries it well, because she probably has been told what she can't do - plenty of times - and doesn't care.

August is going to take out a full-page and in the Times to scream about it. The city needs to know.

... stumbled into this tangle of people that want her to be a part of them. She's lived for a long-ass time on less love than this. She's been alone in every way. Now she's only alone in some ways

"Hey, what's up with you? Who hurt your feelings?" ... "It's-ugh, it's so stupid." ... "Who do we need to frame for murder?"

"... bonded for life by trauma..."

"... I wanted to see the world but still have one thing that was mine."

... the Fuck You Up Olympics.

She's got this ability to move between pretty and handsome from moment to moment.

For someone so determined to never express emotion, he can be incredibly dramatic.

If she absolutely has to have feelings, she can at least do it in private.

...girl, tongue, subway, saw God.

"... being abrasive and emotionally shut off because you're afraid of wanting something?..."

She never had anyone to begin with, so she let it be unsurprising that nobody would want to have her around.

"Don't answer that, it's a trap,"

"... self-pity mode,"

"... the new, the old, the whatever, as long as it's good,"

... fight like hell and be good to those you love.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(56)

The mum who'd had enough - Fiona Gibson

6th June 2024

... summary of my crapness,..

... real life must continue, which means putting on a great show of everything being normal.

... I try to keep calm and not overreact, and only call her mobile eleven times.

... emitting distinct 'do not disturb ' vibes.

... domestic cleansing rituals,...

... Victorian-street-urchin diet,...

... trying to ward off self-pity by reading...

Will I ever be capable of behaving normally again?

... beam my opinions through the airwaves...

... the worry centre of my brain...

... I am trapped in indecision.

My brain is drained, my energies consumed by the anticipation of a vast platter of fast food.

... irritating to the point of combustion...

It's embedded in my brain...

... this particular testing stage of my life.

' ... let yourself go a bit. Live a little...'

... Dad would step in then - not because he doesn't get emotional (he does, he just tries to hide it). I guess he felt that was his job, to be the strong one.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(55)

Circe - Madeline Miller

29th May 2024

... the story of the women who have been historically silenced.

... playing games of love.

However gold he shines, do not forget his fire.

... knows every sunrise.

It was my first lesson. Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two.

I had never felt a lash. I did not know the colour of my blood.

Bold action and bold manner are not the same.

... a great chain of fear,...

When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world.

... my courage failed. What was I truly? In the end, I could not bear to know.

I had a little pride. If they did not weep, I would not either.

For a thousand years I had tried to fill the space between myself and my family; filling the rooms of my house was easy by comparison.

I banished flies from my house,...

... because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me.

You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you.

'A golden cage is still a cage.'

... in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. Such a constellation was he to me.

Tear down, I thought. Tear down and build again.

They have wrinkles, but no wisdom.

One of us must grieve. I would not let it be him.

I did nothing to prepare. If I was not ready now, when would I be?

... he was a harp with only one string, and the note it played was himself. 'You have always been the worst of my children,' he said. 'Be sure you do not dishonour me.' 'I have a better idea. I will do as I please, and when you count your children, leave me out.'

[books-i-finished-reading]

(54)

The Alchemist -Paulo Coelho

26th May 2024

... as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt.

"... I don't want to change anything, because I don't know how to deal with change. I'm used to the way I am."

... maybe it wasn't that they were teaching me, but that I was learning from them.

"We make a lot of detours, but we're always heading for the same destination."

"... I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you."

"... the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself."

"... I've discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve."

Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.

... the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(53)

The seven moons of Maali Almeida - Shehan Karunatilaka

24th May 2024

'I don't care, Aunty. I'm just saying, I can't be here, I have photos to share. I'm in a committed relationship.' 'I am not your Aunty.'

... no one appears to be exhaling smoke or carbon dioxide.

Lankans can't queue. Unless you define a queue as an amorphous curve with multiple entry points.

There are aunties, if given a surname and a school, who can pinpoint any Lankan to the nearest cousin.

'What's The Light?' 'The short answer is Whatever You Need It To Be. The long answer is, I don't have time for the long answer.'

This is absurd. Even the Bank of Ceylon doesn't have Forty-Two floors.

A frightened child calls you a ponnaya, and insult which alleges both homosexuality and impotence, and you will pleas guilty to only one of these charges.

'... if it smells like bullshit, don't swallow it.'

'Were you a believer?' 'Only in stupid things.'

These wars aren't worth dying over. None of them are.

'Always be cheerful. But never put up with shit. And put a lock on that door.'

... the sound of a universe being kicked in the groin.

'I don't listen to rumours. I only spread them.'

'History is people with ships and weapons wiping out those who forgot to invent them. ...'

' Auspicious or suspicious?'

You tried to be no one's friend and ended up being everyone's.

'Forgetting things does not erase them.'

Power is when you can issue threats without speaking them.

Monsoons and full moons make all creatures stupid, especially silly boys in love.

They say the truth will set you free, though in Sri Lanka the truth can land you in a cage.

'... we sacrifice a few to save many. That's how wars work.'

The one good thing you can say about a bomb is that it isn't racist or sexist or concerned about class.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(52)

Call me by your name - André Aciman

23rd May 2024

You could never stare long enough but needed to keep staring to find out why you couldn't.

... the fumbling around people I might misread and don't want to lose and must second-guess at every turn, the desperate cunning I bring to everyone I want and crave to be wanted by, the screens I put up as though between me and the world there were not just one but layers of rice-paper sliding doors,...

We are not written for one instrument alone; I am not, neither are you.

... people say "maybe" when they mean "yes", but hope you'll think it's "no" when all they really mean is, Please, just ask me once more, and once more after that?

Nothing he did or said was unpremeditated. He saw through everybody, but he saw through them precisely because the first thing he looked for in people was the very first thing he had seen in himself and may not have wished others to see.

"Does it make any sense to you? Not to me." "Maybe it did when you wrote it," I said.

... youth has no shame, shame comes with age.

To be happy like this maybe wasn't so difficult after all. All I had to do was find the source of happiness in me and not rely on others to supply it next time.

Between always and never.

... forget to remember.

"Do you like being alone?" he asked. "No. No one likes being alone. But I've learned how to live with it."

Another man ... reading something in the tiny alcove, named the book: Se l' amore. If love. "Is it good?" I asked. "Pure junk," he replied. "I should know. I wrote it."

"People who read are hiders. They hide who they are. People who hide don't always like who they are."

"You okay?" he asked. "Me okay."

... the sun was finally up again and shame cast long shadows.

Whoever said the soul and body met in the pineal gland was a fool. It's the asshole, stupid.

... what we had between us was the total transparency that exists among friends only. Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.

"I loved Thailand before going and hated it as soon as I arrived. Let me rephrase: I hated it once I was there and loved it as soon as I left."

"I left a fool and came back no wiser."

"At first I thought that they thought differently. Then I realised they felt things differently."

"... he looks like a girl who looks like a boy. ... She looks like a boy who looks like a girl and who's therefore just a boy."

"... when it comes to the senses all humans speak the same beastly tongue."

He came. He left. Nothing else had changed. I had not changed. The world hadn't changed. Yet nothing would be the same. All that remains is dream making and strange remembrance.

... I lived in the dark so as not to be blind when darkness came. Rehearse the pain to dull the pain.

"he's more myself than I am."

"... In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don't snuff it out, don't be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we'd want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything-what a waste!"

... burst of desire followed by it's instant antidote, fear.

[books-i-finished-reading]

18th May 2024

"I wish I were a viscount," June says. "I could have my sex waifs deal with my emails." ... "... Their emails would be all tragic and wanton." She tries on a breathless, husky voice. "Oh, please, I beg you, take me-take me to lunch to discuss fabric samples, you beast!"

"Are you hiding a turkey habitat up your ass, son?"

"Instant regret."

"... scribbling verses about quarter-life angst,"

... searching for help from an uncaring universe.

His stomach does some embarrassing acrobatics ...

"What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell?"

Regards, Harangued Royal Highness.

Regards, Handsome Royal Heretic.

"... you can take your finals by fucking smoke signal. I will staple your dick to the inside of your leg if that keeps it in your fucking pants."

"... Maybe there's more than one dream for you, or more than one way to get there."

"Stop trying to Jane Austen my life!"

"So what are y'all gonna do today?" ... "Frolic naked in the hills, frighten the sheep, return to the house for the usual: tea, biscuits, casting ourselves upon the Thighmaster of love to moan about Claremont-Diaz siblings, ..."

"... Doing the right things most of the time and most things for the right reasons. "

... one more bomb to drop.

"... I've always thought of myself as a problem that deserved to stay hidden. Never quite trusted myself, or what I wanted."

There are the flaws everyone's allowed to see-his big mouth, his mercurial temper, his searing impulses-and then there's this. It's like how he only wears his glasses when nobody's around: Nobody's supposed to see how much he needs.

(13)

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

7th January 2023

"... he's as compelling as a wet ball of yarn."

"... even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are."

"... I'll always be compared to someone else, no matter what I do, even if I work twice as hard."

"My liver is ninety-three."

"... you're never too young to figure out your skills and use them to get shit accomplished."

... in a prison of his own creation...

... awake at all ungodly hours of the day and night.

"... it's like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone."

Flirting with death.

Straight people, ... probably don't spend this much time convincing themselves they're straight.

" Your brain could not be more clearly in another solar system."

"... Draco Malfoy-level obsessed..."

" I was in my junior year of high school, and I touched a boob."

" She sounds like she's vision-boarding his funeral."

" My brain isn't working anymore."

" Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are."

... actively wishes for the sweet release of death.

" You're a dumbass, but I trust you, and I trust your judgement."

History, huh? Bet we could make some.

... slowly going insane...

" You know a fighter when you see one."

" Sometimes you just jump and hope it's not a cliff."

" I've been trying to be happy my entire idiot life. My birthright is a country, not happiness."

" What do you want?" " I want you-" "Then fucking have me."

Don't miss it this time. He's too important

... the most sacred place he has.

"... That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose."

"... My whole life has been about fighting. I fought."

" I am a changed man, unburdened by the demons of my past,"

... no better, no worse, just different.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(51)

The Da Vinci code - Dan Brown

3rd May 2024

... male, female, and everything in between.

Welcome and keep out.

... selling the idea...

... a new wave of disorientation ...

" ... history is always written by the winners. ..."

"How's your head, Robert?" Sophie asked,... Langdon forced a pained smile. "Better, thanks." It was killing him.

"... judge man's civility not by his compassion for his friends, but by his compassion for his enemies."

Authors, ... Even the sane ones are nuts.

... royal peculiar, ...

[books-i-finished-reading]

(50)

It ends with us - Colleen Hoover

25th April 2024

"There is no such thing as bad people. We're all just people who sometimes do bad things."

"You're kind of my hero. You just roasted a dead guy."

... he was fidgeting with a hole in his jeans. It wasn't the kind of hole that was there to make jeans look stylish. I could tell it was there because it was a genuine hole,...

... sometimes you can't control where your mind goes. You just have to train it not to go there anymore.

"... I'm a Pinterest whore."

"... I might as well try it while I'm still young enough to bounce back from failure."

"We're just alike," ... "... Plants and humans. Plants need to be loved the right way in order to survive. So do humans. We rely on our parents from birth to love us enough to keep us alive. And if our parents show us the right kind of love, we turn out as better humans overall. ..."

All humans make mistakes. What determines a person's character aren't the mistakes we make. It's how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.

"I'm going to make a promise to you," he said. "When my life is good enough for you to be a part of it, I'll come find you. But I don't want you to wait around for me, because that might never happen."

"... I think I can pretend to be me ..."

"In the future . . . if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again . . . fall in love with me." ... "You're still my favourite person, ..."

Sometimes even grown women need their mother's comfort so we can just take a break from having to be strong all the time.

And as hard as this choice is, we break the pattern before the pattern breaks us.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(49)

All-American girl - Meg Cabot

23rd April 2024

"... What you've drawn here is your idea of how grapes should look, not the grapes that are actually in front of us."

And there was me, in the middle. In between. Where I always am.

"... Before you can start trying to change the rules, you have to learn what the rules are. ..."

... she seemed disappointed that my problems weren't juicier.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(48)

To kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

1st April 2024

When enough years had gone by to enable us to look back ...

...ways of making people into ghosts.

...he loved honour more than his head,...

Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.

"... That boy's yo' comp'ny and if he wants to eat up the table-cloth you let him...

The male population of the class...

"... some kind of men who - who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one,...

"... before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."

"... I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. ..."

... radiated waves of disapproval.

Between two fires, I could not decide which I wanted to jump into...

[books-i-finished-reading]

(47)

Atomic habits - James Clear

27th March 2024

.. I knew that if things were going to improve, I was the one responsible for making it happen.

I fulfilled my potential.

... changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you're willing to stick with them for years.

... the quality of our lives often depend on the quality of our habits.

... find the ideas that matter most and connect them in a way that is highly actionable.

Making a choice that is 1 percent better or 1 percent worse seems insignificant in the moment, but over the span of moments that make up a lifetime these choices determine the difference between who you are and who you could be. Success is the product of daily habits - not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.

... each book you read not only teaches you something new but also opens up different ways of thinking about old ideas.

Mastery requires patience.

Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results.

Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.

We think we need to change our results, but the results are not the problem. What we really need to change are the systems that cause those results.

... commitment to the process...will determine your progress.

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when habit becomes part of your identity.

True behaviour change is identity change.

Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.

Many people walk through life in a cognitive slumber, blindly following the norms attached to their identity.

Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity.

... try, fail,learn, try differently.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

We're so used to doing what we've always done that we don't stop to question whether it's the right thing to do at all.

Be the designer of your world and not merely the consumer of it.

Your culture sets your expectation for what is "normal." Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have yourself.

Once we fit in, we start looking for ways to stand out.

Habits are attractive when we associate them with positive feelings,...

The key to finding and fixing the causes of your bad habits is to reframe the associations you have about them.

We are so focused on figuring out the best approach that we never get around to taking action.

The more you repeat an activity, the more the structure of your brain changes to become efficient at that activity.

The most effective form of learning is practice, not planning.

...make it easy as possible in the moment to do things that payoff in the long run.

... create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible.

Redesign your life so the actions that matter most are also the actions that are easiest to do.

...master the habit of showing up.

The secret is to always stay below the point where it feels like work.

It's better to do less than you hoped than to do nothing at all.

The best way to break a bad habit is to make it impractical to do.

The road less travelled is the road of delayed gratification.

"Don't break the chain"

...never miss twice.

The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. Missing one is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit.

When the consequences are severe, people learn quickly.

Competence is highly dependent on context.

... genes do not determine your destiny. They determine your areas of opportunity.

Your personality is the set of characteristics that is consistent from situation to situation.

When you can't win by being better, you can win by being different.

Until you work as hard as those you admire, don't explain away their success as luck.

How we feel influences how we act, and how we act influences how we feel.

If you change your identity too quickly and become someone radically different overnight, then you feel as if you lose your sense of self. But if you update and expand your identity gradually, you will find yourself reborn into someone totally new yet still familiar. ... identity change without identity loss.

... historians specializing in robe acquisitions,...

[books-i-finished-reading]

(46)

Boy tales of childhood - Roald Dahl

12th March 2024

Some are funny. Some are painful. Some are unpleasant. I suppose that is why I have always remembered them so vividly. All are true.

Alarm bells were beginning to ring faintly in our ears.

... a very limited intelligence.

... survive in silence.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(45)

The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

9th March 2024

Quickly, I became a disappointment...

Our ragged alliances prevailed only when no man was allowed to be too much more powerful than another.

"What would you have done?" I asked. ... "I don't know." ... "No one has ever tried to take something from me." "Never?" ... "Never." He was silent a moment, thinking. "I don't know," he repeated, finally. "I think I would be angry."

"You have been taught to ride, I suppose?" We nodded, quickly. "That is unfortunate. Forget what you learned. ..."

"... perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth, when another is gone. ..." ... Achilles' eyes were bright in the firelight, his face drawn sharply by the flickering shadows. I would know it in dark, or disguise, I told myself. I would know it even in madness.

My mother's lyre. He had brought it with him. "I wish I had known," I said, ... "I almost did not come, because I did not want to leave it." He smiled. "Now I know how to make you follow me everywhere."

I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.

... we lay on the river-bank, learning the lines of each other's bodies anew. This, and this and this. We were like gods, at the dawning of the world, and our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other.

... the trinity of my fears ...

Disapproval had always burrowed deep in me ...

"Name one hero who was happy." ... "You can't." ... "I can't." "I know. They never let you be famous and happy." ... "I'll tell you a secret." "Tell me." ... "I'm going to be the first." ... "Swear it." "Why me?" "Because you're the reason. Swear it." "I swear it," I said, ... "I swear it," he echoed. ... "I feel like I could eat the world raw."

... I thought of how many nights I had lain awake in this room, loving him in silence.

"Who is this man,..." ... Achilles answered coolly, "My husband." I closed my mouth, quickly, so I did not gape like a fish.

I recognize him by touch alone, by smell, I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.

"Useless information is my curse,.."

When he died, all things swift and beautiful and bright would be buried with him.

He was spring, golden and bright. Envious Death would drink his blood, and grow young again.

Men's faces are heavy with anger, but there are no more fights - it is too hot. They lie in the dark and hate each other.

" ... You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature."

...a man who moved like the gods were watching;...

... I heard the creaking of the chariot, and the distant banging of bronze, and returned to greet my Achilles.

They would be preserved, in memory, if not in life.

I still felt half a child myself, though most my age were parents several times over.

We obey the kings, but only within reason.

... being betrayed to his worst enemy, by the man he holds closest to his heart.

He is half of my soul, as the poets say.

"If he is dead, I will not be far behind."

"There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

"... fame is a strange thing. Some men gain glory after they die, while others fade. What is admired in one generation is abhorred in another."

"we cannot say who will survive the holocaust of memory. ..."

"Have you no more memories?" I am made of memories.

We are all there, goddess and mortal and the boy who was both.

[books-i-finished-reading]

(44)

The village by the sea - Anita Desai

5th March 2024

... all the strain and worry that went with the excitement.

... it was possible to have a future, that one did not remain where one was stuck always but could move out and away and on. One needed to make great efforts for this to happen,...

... if you want to survive, you will have to change...

[books-i-finished-reading]

(43)

The Peculiars - Maureen Doyle McQuerry

17th February 2024

She was more than the sum of the crimes of her father.

"Came here ... 'fore this town was anything at all, and I'm still here now that it's nothing again."

"... Being a quick learner is more important than knowing all the answers."

... terminally shy.

"Who can say what demons anyone had to fight unless we're inside the person's skin?"

"You did what you thought was best, based on the truth you knew. That's all anyone can do."

... a healthy dose of fear,...

"It's not your family who defines you; they're an influence, all right, but they don't have the final say. We answer for that ourselves."