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forgedroyalseal · 5 months ago

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His Worst Nightmare

Chapter 9

Halt stood patiently as Horace silently paced back and forth in front of him. After leaving Will at the cabin, they walked out to a clearing, not a single word muttered between the two. Horace had been trying to gather his thoughts for quite some time, but Halt did not rush him, did not push.

“Ok.” Horace says finally, staring Halt down. “I kind of hate you.”

Halt nodded, “I kind of hate myself too.”

Horace frowns, “That, that doesn’t make me feel better.”

Halt shrugged, “That doesn’t change the fact that that’s how I feel.”

“It’s just,” Horace groaned in frustration, “Will is like my brother. And I am sick and tired of him getting hurt again and again because of the rangers. Because you feel guilty about what happened to his dad. Because you took a shining to him when we were kids. Because he’s desperate to impress you, even if it kills him.”

“Will has impressed me every day since we first met. He could have decide to be a farmer instead of a ranger and I’d still be proud of him.”

“Does he know that?” Horace asks, but they both know the answer.

Halt had the decency to look somewhat regretful. “I should tell him more.”

Horace scoffs, “If you start now he’ll just think it’s out of pity. Or guilt.”

“I want you to know that I really appreciate all that you’ve done for him these past couple weeks.” Halt redirects the conversation, trying to get it back on track. “You’ve succeeded where I’ve failed him. Neither of us will ever forget how you’ve taken care of him. And I can’t imagine how hard it is for you now that we are all here. But everyone in that cabin,” Halt points down the path, “are here to help both of you.”

Horace feels his hackles rise in defense. “I can take care of him.”

“I know, you’ve more than proved that.” Halt placated. “But you deserve help. There’s not a doubt in my mind that if you had to, you and Will could be perfectly fine all on your own. But you aren’t on your own, you don’t need to do it alone.”

Horace sniffs and turns away from Halt. “I don’t know how to be ok with you.”

“You don’t have to be. I don’t expect you to be.” Halt gently turns Horace back to face him and wipes the tears that had fallen onto his cheeks. “I just ask that you let us help. And if the most helpful thing I can do is stay away, I’ll do it. But know that I’ll always be here for both of you.”

Horace sighs. “It’s not fair to Will if I ask you to stay away for my own comfort. He missed you. And after everything, he doesn’t deserve to have any more suffering.” Horace straighten, “So, you’re not going to stay away. You are going to be here. You are going to show up for Will because you need each other. And if it gets to be too much or too hard, and you abandon him again, I’m going to hunt you down and kick your ass.”

Halt bit down a smile and nodded seriously, “I’d expect nothing less.”

__________________________________________________________________________

“-And so I was like, I don’t know who you think you are, but my brother is engaged to the crown princess so I’m pretty sure that means I out rank you.”

Horace and Halt catch the tail end of Jenny’s story as they step back into the cabin. The group is sprawled out around the room, with Will tucked between Jenny and Alyss, and Gilan leaning against the couch behind Jenny. George has pulled a chair over to sit in front of Will, and Crowley and Pauline watch the entire interaction from the kitchen table where they are sipping coffee out of steaming mugs. The scene is so warm and domestic, Halt momentarily forget what called them all together.

Horace passes by Halt with a groan. “Jen, how many times do I have to tell you, Cassandra and I aren’t engaged yet, you can’t keep telling people that, at some point, someone is going to believe it.”

“That’s the point! If you’re going to drag your feet about this whole thing, spreading rumors about you might actually be forced into getting a move on!” Jenny protests.

Will grins, “Yeah man, what’s the hold up? You wait any longer, Cass might come to her senses and find someone in her league.”

“Ugh, I forgot how awful you two are when you gang up on me. Alyss, make them stop.” Horace flung himself to the floor to lean against Alyss’ knees. She instantly began scratching his head just as she used to when they were children and he couldn’t sleep.

“Don’t tease him.” She chastised Will and Jenny. “It’s not his fault he’s a bit slow.”

“Hey!”

The wardmates continued their bickering as Halt took a seat beside Pauline.

“How was your walk?” She asked softly.

“Which one?”

“Both.”

Halt let out a heavy breath. “Hard. Those boys, they, they’re struggling. And it’s my fault.”

“Halt,” Crowley said sternly, “you did what you had to do to save Will’s life.”

“That’s not what I mean. They are struggling because I left them. I left Will when he needed me the most. I left Horace to try to figure out how to keep Will alive and sane all by himself. I put my own feeling above their needs.”

Crowley and Pauline glanced at each other, and Halt has known them long enough that he could read the look they shared.

“And you both know I’m right.” He sat back.

“The only reason to look behind is to guide your steps forward. There’s no point in rehashing the past. What are you going to do moving forward? That’s what’s important.” Pauline says.

“To start with, I’m moving back in. Tonight.”

Crowley nods, “I’ll speak with Rodney first thing tomorrow morning. He’s had a knight or two lose an arm. I’ll see if he’s got any suggestions for making Will’s life a little more accessible.”

“And most importantly, you both need to ask Will how he wants to move forward. Find out if he’d like to retire or if you need to start looking into how he can maintain an active role in the Corps.”

Halt and Crowley both frown at Pauline. “How could he still have an active role? Pauline, he can’t-“

Pauline cuts Crowley off, “We don’t know what he can or can’t do right now. Will is extremely clever, if anyone could work out how to live their life in this condition, it’s him.” She looks over at the young man, whose head was now dropped on Alyss’ shoulder, a sleepy smile painted on his face as he watches Jenny hit Gilan over the head with a pillow. His eyes shift to her and he offers a little wave. Her voice softens, “He just needs to be reminded that he still has options, that he can still have a happy future. That his life isn’t over.”

#rangers apprentice #ranger's apprentice #will treaty #horace altman #ranger’s apprentice fanfiction #rangers apprentice fanfiction #halt o'carrick #alyss mainwaring #fanfiction #his worst nightmare

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forgedroyalseal · 4 months ago

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His Worst Nightmare

Chapter Ten (the finale 🥳)

“Today was a good day.” Will’s eyes don’t leave the fire as he speaks, and neither do Horace’s.

“It was a long one, that’s for sure.” Everyone else had long since either gone home, fallen asleep in the other bedroom, Halt, or had passed out on the floor where Jenny had left him with a pillow and a blanket, Gilan. Will and Horace had snuck out to the yard, where Horace built a small fire for them to sit by. Its flickering flames painted both boys in an orange glow as they watched it burn.

“Yeah. But still a good one.”

Horace smiled. “I’m glad. It’s been too long since we’ve had one of those.”

Will turns to Horace, “Did you forgive Halt?”

“No. Not really. But he’s here, and that’s a start.” Horace stretched his legs out in front of him. “How much of his conversation with Pauline and Crowley did you hear?”

Will snorts, “All of it. I mean, I lost an arm, not my ears. Did they really think I couldn’t hear them?”

Horace laughs, “I swear, for three of the smartest people I know, they can be clueless sometimes.”

“I think they still sometimes look at us like we’re the oblivious fifteen year olds they first met.”

“So, what do you think?”

“About?” Will asks with a tilt of his head.

Horace rolls his eyes, “About what they were saying. Where do you want to go from here?”

Will dropped his head back and stared up at the stars. “I don’t know. Yesterday I wanted to die. Today felt like nothing had changed. How am I supposed to know what tomorrow will bring? How do I make a choice for my future when I barely understand how I feel right now?”

“I don’t think you need to. I mean, I know for practical reasons Crowley wants to know what to expect, but who cares what he wants. This is still your life Will. You get to decide how you want to live it. And if you need more time to figure that out? Well, that’s no one’s business but yours.”

“What do you think I should do?”

Horace’s silence answered the question before he could. Will knew already knew his answer when he finally said, “I don’t want to watch you get hurt again. And I think you’ve given this country more than enough. I wish you could slow down, be safe, relax. But I also know you. Your mind doesn’t know how to slow down, it never has. So I can’t tell you to stop. I can’t be the one to do that to you. But I will be the one who will always be here to patch you back up, no matter what.”

Will closed his eyes. “I’m tired Horace.”

The words hung in the campfire smoke. Sparks jumped and illuminated them. Caught them on fire. Those three words held so much more weight than either boy was equipped to handle at this moment. The words burn and turned to ash and Horace said, “I know. Let’s go to bed.”

---- ——————————————————————————————————————-

Halt woke at dawn and moved silently out of the cabin, carefully stepping around a sleeping Gilan on the floor. Not that it mattered. Halt could have stepped on Gilan’s hand while wearing bells and the man wouldn’t have woken up. In the field, or even his own home, he slept the same as any ranger, silent and light, ready to leap up at any moment. But whenever he was at Halt’s, he slept like a teenager all over again. It had been a problem when he was still an apprentice, but now, it nearly brought Halt to tears. The complete trust Gilan had in him hadn’t changed even after all these years. Gilan had full confidence that Halt would protect him. Halt wondered if Will will be able to have that kind of trust in him again. Part of Halt hoped not. He didn’t want to Will trust people who hurt him, to give them the opportunity to do it again. Even if that included him. The other part, the part that wasn’t a ranger but felt scarily close to a father, was ready to do whatever it took to regain that trust.

The sun took its time rising. Halt leaned against the veranda railing as it crested over the trees, their foliage turning from a deep evergreen to a glowing emerald. The morning chill was chased away as the dew evaporated. The trio of ranger horses by the stable nickered and Halt watched Sir Rodney and Crowley ride in.

“Good morning Halt.” Rodney nodded to him.

“You’re up bright and early.”

He frowned, “In all honesty, I couldn’t sleep. Not after Crowley told me what happened. Where’s Will?” His concern was almost tangible, and Halt had to fight off a wave of defensiveness. Rodney was here to help, Halt reminded himself. Just like Crowley. Just like he was.

It occurred to Halt that despite the fact that Will had grown up without a father, he now had nearly a half dozen of them. There was an ever growing list of men who’d do anything to protect him, to hold him, to comfort him. And Halt was at the top of that list.

“He’s still sleeping. The boys had a late night.”

“How is-“ Rodney cut himself off, “That’s stupid. What does he need?”

“I don’t know.” Halt admitted.

“That’s what we are here to figure out.” Crowley clapped Halt on the shoulder. “Let’s get some coffee going.”

Gilan was awake by the time the three men stepped inside, sleepily rubbing at his eyes.

“Good morning Gilan.” Rodney smiled.

Gilan’s muttered response was unintelligible as he yawned and stretched.

“You won’t get much more of a response from him until he’s had his coffee.” Halt said as he placed a pot of water over the fire he had revived.

“You rangers are too dependent on the stuff.” Rodney teased.

“You tell ‘em.” Horace said as he entered the living space, stepping over Gilan’s outstretched legs.

“Horace! Good to see you son.” Rodney pulled Horace into a quick hug.

“You too sir, I just wish it was under better circumstances.” Horace’s voice was cool and serious.

Rodney’s face clouded. How had he forgotten so quickly? How had he fallen into the same old pattern of easy comradely with his friends? How could he, when Will, the same Will he had watched grow up, the Will who’s heart he had broken when he denied him a place in battle school, was on the other side of the door broken and bruised and in pieces? How had he forgotten why he was here?

“Of course.” He nodded solemnly.

Horace sighed, clearly seeing Rodney berate himself. He collapsed into a chair. Gilan managed to pull himself into the one beside him and clutched an empty mug in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I don’t-“ Horace swallowed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to enforce an environment of doom and gloom. That not helpful to anyone, least of all Will.”

“I understand Horace.”

Halt served the coffee and the men all took a seat around the table.

“So-“ Crowley began but Horace cut him off.

“Don’t you think Will should be here for this?”

“Do I have to?” Will appeared in the doorway to the bedroom. “I mean, you’ve done a good job making decisions for me so far.” Will’s words should have come across as bitter and sarcastic, but they were filled to the brim with warmth and genuine appreciation. He walked across the room slowly, each step carefully planned to avoid any obstacles that could cause him to lose his footing.

Rodney was grateful for his years as a knight, years spent in active combat seeing all sorts of horrific injuries, because those years were the only thing that kept his face from falling. Will was a wreak, half healed cuts and yellow bruises marbling his skin. And the gruesome focal point of it all, the missing arm. Hearing about what had occurred from Crowley and seeing the aftermath for himself were two very different experiences.

Horace smiled at his friend and stood, guiding Will to take his seat. “Well, if it was left up to me I’d wrapped you in wool and never let you out of the cabin again.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me, meeting adjourned.” Gilan clapped.

“Wait- no.” Will’s eyes widen.

“Yes, what a great idea Horace.” Halt agreed.

“No, guys.” Will’s voice was teetering on a whine. “I can’t be caged up here.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to be part of this conversation won’t you?”

Will narrowed his eyes at Horace, who grinned back innocently. Will turned to the rest of the group. “I’m not sure what I want.”

“What about what’s not on the table?” Crowley offered.

“Um…” Will’s hand fluttered by his shoulder, just above where it dropped into empty space. “I think, I’m mean. I know I can’t go back to Seacliff. I still need a lot of help from Horace to do basic things. I’m getting better with practice, but. Yeah, I think it will be a while before I can live alone. If ever.” Once it was out, Will realized it wasn’t as scary to admit as he thought it would be. After all, his least favorite thing about being a ranger was being alone so offen. He mentally added it his short, but growing, list of bright spots.

“I might be able to help with that.” Will’s questioning eyes jump from the table to Rodney. He cleared his continued, “A knight I grew up with lost his arm to a Skandian ax ten years ago. Sir Harken. Recovery took a fair while but he’s lived in his own ever since. He works as an advisor to the battle master a few fiefs over. I’m confident he’d be happy to visit and see if he can help you navigate day to day tasks.”

“That would be nice. Thank you.” Will smiled at him.

“I’ll sent word out today.”

“Have you given any thoughts to your place in the Corps?” Crowley asked.

“I don’t want to retire. That feels like, defeat. But I guess it’s my only option. I can barely get dressed, much less string and draw a bow.” Will toyed with the silver pendant that still hung around his neck. He couldn’t envision what it would feel like to have a gold one instead. To know that he could no longer serve his king. His country. His people. It made his stomach roll just thinking about it.

“You could take on an administrative roll, work with Crowley at Castle Araluen.” Horace suggested, eager at the idea of having Will permanently close to home.

Will tried to hold back as grimace at the thought. He knew Horace was just trying to help, but the thought of sitting in an office all day long struggling through mountains off paperwork was something straight out of a nightmare.

Crowley read the look and Will’s face and clear his throat. “Might I suggest an alternative?” He said gently. “I had always planned on you training several apprentices. You’ve had the personality for it since day one, and your skill speaks for itself. I was wondering if you’d be willing to train full time and assess the apprentices at the gathering each year.”

“Train full time, like, have an apprentice?” Will furrowed his brow. “I appreciate the vote of confidence, but a huge part of ranger training is actually going out on missions I can’t…” He trailed off. They all know what he can’t do. But Crowley wanted to remind them all of what he could do, what he’s always been able to do. Help those who need it.

“Actually,” Crowley explained, “I mean you travel to each fief with an apprentice and help train them at their home base for a month or so. And if needs be, take over temporarily if something were to happen with their ranger. I’m not sure if your problem solving ability is something that can be taught, but I’m eager to find out. If, that is, you’re interested.”

Will’s eyes widened and he felt them prick with tears. Since the attack, Will was distressed at the idea of becoming useless. Unable to help anyone, being a burden on his loved ones. But here was Crowley, the Ranger Commandant, offering him a way to help. To teach a whole new generation of rangers. Crowley wasn’t just offering a new job, but a new lease on life.

“Well, what do you think Will?” Halt asked.

“You don’t have to agree to anything just yet.” Crowley hurried to add. “You’re still recovering. You can take all the time you need-“

“Yes. Yes please. I’ll do it.” The words rushed out of Will, as if they were racing to get out before Crowley could rescind the offer.

Crowley bit back his smile at Will’s eagerness, “Right, well then, that’s settled. I still want you to take time to recover. But while you do, you can start thinking about lesson plans for your future students. And,” He glanced between Horace and Halt, knowing that what he was about to say had the potential to start a custody battle between the two men, “you can think about where you’d like to have your home base for when you’re between apprentices and gatherings.”

“He can stay with me.” Horace and Halt’s twin answers overlap each other. Horace narrows his eyes, but Halt holds his ground.

“We can work that out once you’ve recovered a bit more.”

Will smiled gratefully at Crowley for the escape route from the conversation he was offering, but he had already made his decision. “Or, I can just do both.” He looks up at Horace, who is standing behind him with a protective had on the back of his chair. “It’ll be nice to be able to see you and Cass more, and it’s convenient if I need to speak with Crowley about the assignments.” He then turns to Halt, “But Redmont has always been my home. It’s where most of my family still is. I’m not ready to give that all up yet. So, I’ll just go back and forth. After all, home isn’t about a house, or things, it’s the people around you.”

Horace opens his mouth to respond, but thinks better at it after Will levels him with a firm look.

“I think that’s a wonderful compromise Will.” Rodney said. “I know I speak for many people in Redmont when I say it’ll be nice to have you back, even if it’s just part of the year.”

“Right, now that we’ve settled that, would someone mind pouring me a cup of coffee and filling me in on everything I’ve missed these past couple weeks? And don’t pretend you don’t know anything, ranger’s are the biggest gossips.” Will grinned.

The group of men laughed and the tension that had taken root in the cabin for weeks popped like a bubble. They all sat around the table, talking and sipping coffee until the sun was high in the sky. One by one, the men dispersed, Rodney and Crowley to send out letters and begin paperwork, Gilan to collect lunch and possibly their friends from Jenny’s tavern, dragging Horace along with him, leaving only Halt and Will in the cabin. They moved from the table to the sofa and Will immediately pulled his legs up under him.

“Are you cold?” Halt asked, already reaching for the quilt that was draped over the armchair beside him.

“A little. I’ve been cold since, well, since. Horace thinks it’s because I lost so much blood, but I think it’s because I haven’t really been wearing shirts. They’re too much work with all the bandages.”

“You can ask for help you know.” Halt told him as he tucked the quilt around Will.

“I know. I do. Horace and Gil have gone above and beyond the call of duty.”

“You can ask me too. If you want. I’ll alway be happy to help.” Halt’s words were quiet, as if he wasn’t sure they were worth saying.

Will nodded and studied Halt. “We’re gonna be okay. You know that, right?”

“I’m trying kid.”

“This, this nightmare, it’s over now. I’m not saying my life is going to be easy. And I’m sure I’ll have plenty of dark days, plenty of time I’ll be ready to throw in the towel, but I’m also certain I’ll have just as many good days, if not more.”

Halt looked intently at Will. “When did you get so smart?”

Will grinned, “Maybe I always have been and you’ve just never noticed.”

“No, that’s not it. I definitely remember you being a bit of an idiot back in the day. All my years of training must have final sunken in.”

Will rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what it is.”

There a was a pause then Halt said, “I’m proud of you Will. I’ve always been proud of you. You-“ He swallowed around the lump the was forming in his throat, “you are remarkable. You always have been. And if you decide that you don’t want to train apprentices, if you want to retire, I will still be just as proud. Nothing you do will ever change that. You hear me?”

Will blinked back tears and sniffed. “Yeah. I know that.”

“Good. Don’t you ever forget just how much you mean to me Will. I’d give my life for you. You are like a son me.”

Will propelled himself forward across the couch to hug Halt. It was awkward and a bit painful, but Will needed it like he needed oxygen, and based on the way Halt clutched Will, he knew Halt felt the same.

It was going to be hard, and it was going to take more time than Will was willing to admit at the moment, but he knew that they, that he, was going to be just fine.

A/N: And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone who’s commented, liked, and read. Can’t wait to get started on the next adventure!

#rangers apprentice #ranger's apprentice #will treaty #horace altman #ranger’s apprentice fanfiction #rangers apprentice fanfiction #halt o'carrick #fanfiction #his worst nightmare

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