#he haaaaaates her

[waugh-bao]

Extracts from Melanie Hamrick Interviewed by The Times (September 21, 2024)

[autumnoakes]

desperately want to see a zag fight. sgg let me kick his ass

[headphonemouse]

Let's start casting sys and lgy in kagamine rin and len songs

[lightspren]

uuuugh wrt my headache that we’re on. day whatever of. how long ago was monday? anyway. spouse and sister are both like “you should Definitely message the nurse practitioner tomorrow” so I’m officially outnumbered. dammit.

[clawsextended]

selina is 100% the type to have 0 sympathy for solas. she thinks that the dalish definitely don’t deserve the shit end of the stick they’re often given, and hearing solas be unpleasant and frankly condemn them rankles her. she respects her elven friends, and more than anything, she can’t think it’s even remotely decent to shit on them for aspects of culture that they were never given. (she also thinks it’s because he’s uwu sad that they don’t like fenfen but that’s a whole other story). him trying to ‘make things right’ is absurd to her because… well, the world moved on from you, dude, maybe you should just move on from it?

and when he talks about ‘a better world’, there’s something attractive about that to her. a world where she wouldn’t have suffered, maybe, a world where things were beautiful and appreciated. but she also thinks he’s trying to literally erase the modern world to revert back, and her biggest problem is… well, what’s gonna happen to all the people living there now without magic? what about the soporati in minrathous, what about the dwarves and the qunari and the humans? he wants to save the elves but… what about… everyone else?

she sees herself excessively when it comes to solas and that makes her uncomfortable. she’s been running basically her entire life, desperate to escape herself, and now she’s faced with a man who is trapped in his own suffering. it’s alarming, to put it mildly, to have a mirror held up to her this way. she hates solas — she doesn’t want to trade barbs with him. she’s not even elvhen, and she doesn’t understand his motivation at all. she absolutely thinks she’s not the person for this job but nobody exactly asked her.

frankly the most ic statement is ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’ when he goes to hand her the dagger at the end in minrathous. she is so exasperated with him — before she walks into that, way, way before, she’s hellishly aware of the fact that this asshole is about to double cross her. that’s all he does, to the point where she’s openly very, very annoyed he’s even still involved. by the end, to her, he’s less a necessary evil and more necessary annoyance.

and she’s sitting happily on making a pun about the cat eating the dog, for once.

[chappell-roans]

cannot stand sam levinson btw

[uitzinnigmp3]

.

[prodigalwitch]

I haaaaaate how porn-rotted men's brains are. You can't even have a normal conversation with most guys these days- especially Gen Z. Almost every word you say to these guys, they'll find a way to make it sexual. Seriously. With no context.

For example- I was telling a male I know about one of my friends who managed to convince an owner of a local bakery to give her one of his popular recipes. ALL I said was, "He wouldn't give her X (most popular recipe) so her gave her the Y." Of course... "that sounds weird!! hahahahaha! He gave her the Y."

Or when you mention the word "stuck" they follow it with something about step-brothers (absolutely vile). God forbid you say the word "size" in reference to anything!

...But noooooo, obviously, porn has no effect on the brain! It totally doesn't make men sexualize every single woman they see IRL.

[madaqueue]

THE SUN SHINES ON YESTERDAY’S NEW-FALLEN SNOW

PRESS SNOWFLAKES IN A BOOK LIKE FLOWERS — a milestone event

status: closed!

hi friends! i recently hit a milestone and to celebrate, i’ll be hosting a little event!

to thank all of you for being here with me, i’ll be writing short drabbles (250-500 words) for a character of your choice with a genre and prompt below! to participate, just send me an ask with the following information:

characters: anyone from jjk

my most-written for are choso, geto, gojo, and sukuna, but for this i’m writing everyone - if for some reason i’m unable to, i’ll respond to your message and let you pick another! only exceptions are the disaster curses/mahito and mei mei (sorry girlie)

readers: include pronouns and gender (f/fem, gn, or m/masc)

genres & prompts:

ice on the window: fluff

catching snowflakes, meeting family, warm drinks, baking cookies, ice skating + choose your own

a crescent moon: smut

warm skin, trapped in a snowstorm, icy hands, cozy mornings, sharing blankets + choose your own

a gold and silver day: matchmaking

i will assign you a fav and date! if you choose this, it’ll only be fluff! send me 3+ things you love and 3+ things you loathe, gender preference for your pairing, and anything else you want me to know

rules:

this event is intended to celebrate my amazing and lovely followers, so please be following me lol :3

off anon + an age in bio/pinned (18+)

see my writing rules for more on what i do and don’t write if making your own request!

note:

if you would prefer i not publish your ask to keep it more anonymous, add ‘please don’t publish’ to your request and i won’t - i’ll just write your request and add it to the masterlist :)

examples:

“hey beautiful hot and sexy quinn, gimme some f!reader (she/her) x gojo and ‘icy hands’ (i just know that freak has poor circulation)”

“hi there! for the event, could you write choso fluff with a gn!reader (they/them) using my own prompt of ___? also, could you please not publish this ask? thank you <3”

“hi quinn! i’m here for matchmaking :3 i would like to be paired with one of the boys, m!reader with he/him prns, and 3 things i like are ___ oh and i haaaaaate ___, love you :3”

MASTERLIST

kiss it better — satoru gojo x f!reader (fluff : warm drinks)

heat of devotion — suguru geto x transmasc!reader (smut : body worship)

recipe for disaster — yuji itadori & ryomen sukuna x gn!reader (fluff : baking cookies)

sugar and spice — choso kamo x f!reader (matchmaking : building gingerbread houses)

stars and snowflakes — ryomen sukuna x f!reader (matchmaking : catching snowflakes)

crowned in warmth — suguru geto x gn!reader (matchmaking : warm drinks)

heat of a sun — suguru geto x m!reader (smut : cozy mornings)

something sweet — satoru gojo x gn!reader (fluff : baking cookies)

keep out the cold — suguru geto x f!reader (smut : trapped in a snowstorm)

[sammywolfgirl]

Well the poll ended in a tie so we’re doing a tiebreaker

And as a little concession ill give a little info about the two topics

The tie is between the Wanderer cookie arc and Shadow Milk and his muse-

Wanderer Cookie Arc- my au version of thr dark cacao kingdom arc, where dark cacao also gets the amnesia treatment. Idea is he left his kingdom years ago to try and find a way to break the curse on the sword his son got, but somewhere along the way got hit with the amnesia stick. The plot starts when dark choco, licorice, and poison mushroom decide to travel to the dark cacao kingdom (or what they believe is its remains) to attempt to rebuilt it, and in dark choco’s case make amends and seek forgiveness. Or punishment. He’s accepting of either outcome. Along the path they get caught in a blizzard and take refuge in cotton cookie’s village. That’s when they run into Wanderer cookie. And for the first time in decades dark choco finds out his father is alive. He doesn’t recognize him. Which dark choco can’t decide if this is worse or not.

Shadow Milk and his muse- the love hate relationship of the century. There’s a lot to unpack here and it’s still being developed but I am in the process of brainstorming a background fic. Anyways shadow milk before he fell was in love with a cookie named vanilla extract, a play write and a clever cookie in her own right. She was one of the only cookies that weren’t a fellow ancient that could match wits with the font of knowledge. When the beasts fell, she was trying desperately to help them, but it was no use. And shadow milk cookie killed her, seeing it as an act of mercy so she wouldn’t witness the destruction her friends and love would cause. And then cut to modern times dark enchantress wants to spite her ex and decides to make an artificial beast, and oh, those beasts mention an old friend of theirs on occasion, let’s use her as the base! And shadow milk haaaaaates it. So when melody extract cookie emerges they have a very love hate relationship. Like borderline comedic. They’re in love, they’re biting each other’s limbs off, they’re making out under the stars, they’re starting proxy wars with their minions. It’s a whole thing.

Wanna know more? Vote for which ya want lmAO

[hey-hey-j]

... sorry to bother again but I just REALLY wanna know what's your FAVORITE HC of each brozone bros? Especially JD 👀

oooofgh a FAVOURITE headcanon for each bro...... there's so many but if I really narrow it down:

JD: that he's actually extremely nearsighted but he resists getting glasses for the longest time because they make him look old and he haaaaaates acknowledging his actual age, lol. Back during the BroZone days Bruce would often catch him leaning in super close to his desk squinting when writing songs and tell him seriously bro you NEED to get your eyes checked before you destroy your back.

Years later Clay finally convinces him to see an optometrist and it's actually a genuine bonding experience for the both of them

Bruce: constantly fighting against the troll instinct to carry his kids in his hair because they physically Do Not Fit in there. He can still carry them with his hair (usually for game purposes), just not in it. It frustrates him, but after 13 of these little gremlins he's found some workarounds.

semi-related: I like to think the first few kids came about from however vacationers reproduce so the first time they had an egg it caught Bruce and Brandy completely off guard and Bruce had to dazedly explain to her where troll babies come from. And then he had to explain it to the kids and follow it up with a stern lecture on how for the love of god do NOT toss the egg around it is NOT A TOY—

Clay: went through a jealous phase when Floyd was first born. He did not like having his status as the baby of the family usurped, lol. Literally his first reaction upon being introduced to Floyd for the first time was "No thank you." The image of teeny baby Floyd toddling after Clay while Clay tries his darndest to act like the aloof, disinterested older brother. Or as aloof and disinterested as a little kid can get.

He warmed up to Floyd after a bit, though. Probably little Floyd fell asleep in his lap one night and Clay was suddenly overcome with the realization of oh I never want to let anything bad happen to this kid. And from that day on he tried his darndest to be the best big brother he could be. Like JD.

Floyd: cut his solo career short because he realized that the celebrity life wasn't making him happy anymore. So he traveled around for a few years, bumped into the other troll kingdoms and tried out their music, and eventually rediscovered his passion through smaller gigs and busking. Floyd was essentially homeless for all of those 20 years, but it was the happiest he'd been since BroZone took off, going wherever the road took him and basking in the freedom of not being recognized and finally being able to pour all of himself into his music, unfiltered.

And then he made it to Mount Rageous.

Branch: post-World Tour and after the initial awkwardness of Barb's efforts to make amends, Branch finds that he actually gets along really well with the queen of Rock. She shows him how to channel all of his repressed anger into a couple of chords and a good SCREAM, and he in turn shows her some of the grounding techniques he's been working on as part of his recovery. They joke that they're only getting along for Poppy's sake, but after a while, they genuinely end up becoming really good friends.

what I'm saying is that I live for Branch and Barb as snarky besties with Poppy as their hinge I need it DESPERATELY

[astridthevalkyrie]

not ship in ck has good writing or good development because the writers are not good with romance or plot consistency - they’re only good at making references to the old movies and the win of the show goes to the ones making the fight choreographies.

but let’s be honest robby/tory happened because they needed a way to go back to sam/miguel without creating a love triangle or drama. the writers wanted the legacy kids dating, got it, then changed their minds about it and needed an easy way out. and tory was right there.

the way samrobby was handled was very unfair considering is canon robby was in love with sam. & sam had genuine feelings for robby. it wasn’t a tory and miguel situation because sam wasn’t using robby as a rebound. they were build on a mutual friendship and interest (miyagi-do) first. the relationship between sam and robby was way different than the one between tory and miguel. and should’ve not been treated as if it was.

but as I said, the writers backed out and needed a reason to further the rivalry’s.

tory/robby S3 arc was a very odd because their only interactions were tory trying to blame the school fight on sam and her privilege “for walking out of it” and while robby did call her out for hurting sam - the writers never gave a damn about sam and her issues & would actually prop tory up when it came to trashing sam. but most of their S3 arc was just her using robby’s hate for the larusso’s to her gain. and i genuinely couldn’t even imagine robby being ok w tory after what she did to sam/larussos in s3.

the writers also never allowed sam and robby to have closure. sam was still emailing robby during juvie that summer but the narrative never brings it up. they wanted you to believe she never cared and was only after miguel’s wellbeing. even when you see sam clearly heartbroken and hurt over what happened with robby, the writers just never allow her that moment. the fact they never got to sit down and talk it out and that robby thought sam never liked him is crazy work. a good writer would’ve given them that closure.

in the start of s4, it was pretty evident robby was still in love with sam. & even in the skating rank where he was trying to be mean you can still tell he was hurt by having to shut her down. the prom fight scene has more levity to sam & robby that it did for tory and miguel who didn’t even talk. robby was shocked to find out that sam was just as heartbroken by him and it wasn’t some one way situation. they even had miguel react to their moment. but i guess since tory & robby kissed now that’s over? the fact they were harboring feelings for miguel & sam respectfully is forgotten by the narrative? the writers seem to think a big fight is the end of it all lol it’s funny because tanner himself says he did not like robby on S4 because he thinks he wasn’t acting like himself.

then came S5 and i guess the established couples is all that matters? i do think it’s very unfortunate how the writers fumbled what sam and robby’s relationships could’ve been even as a non-romantic dynamic because mary and tanner arguelly had the most natural chemistry and the fact they didn’t get to have legitimate scenes until S6 Part II feels like the writers just didn’t want any of their potential dynamic to overshadow the “couples” they wanted endgame.

robby vs sam fight at the all valley plus them having a conversation about their relationship should’ve happen and i will forever die on this hill.

yeah that first thing you said right there. not a single canon ship in ck is good. they all have potential but they also all fall flat. and i love samrobby! i just think their relationship and every other relationship with the teens suffers from boy meets girl so boy and girl must like each other because they are boy and girl.

i haaaaaate the narrative that sam was using robby as a rebound. nothing about their relationship suggests that! she pursues him (which is also why it's refreshing compared to the other ships), clearly likes spending time with him, works well with him, cares about him. it's not tory and miguel, where miguel was talking about sam in the same scene he and tory kiss. and sure, i can accept that sam had lingering feelings for miguel that she didn't realize until she saw him again, but that doesn't make her feelings for robby any less real. UGH. anyways.

it's so ooc for robby to be friends with tory. even more ooc of him to be with her. and like i said about keenry before too, robby doesn't get anything out of the relationship, aside maybe from being understood by someone who also comes from a low income home? and it's not enough for me.

it's also crazy that sam is suspended for the school fight at all. the only thing you can say against her there is that she should have tried to leave the school instead of engaging with tory but that's more on the teachers because how the hell did the teacher allow her to leave that classroom 😭 but yeah they never really talk about how unfair it is that she was suspended and i think it's because the show accepts that sam shares the blame for the school fight as canon. which, i'm sorry. she doesn't. tory telling robby about how sam got off scot free and has him wrapped around her finger......yeah okay cobra kai. realistically not even tory should actually believe sam got to "go back to normal."

there's so much they should've talked about during season 4 or after. how sam did not use him as a rebound. how sam had already known about the medal of honor before robby confessed. what robby went through in juvie. what sam went through in school after the fight. her writing him emails and going to his skateboard park every day. him defending her twice while he's actively mad at her. THE YOU BROKE MY HEART TOO LINE ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

and yeah after prom samrobby and toriguel are nonexistent they may as well have never happened. i'm also a firm believer of no gender divisions and sam should've fought robby during the all valley thank you. but at least they get that little conversation in season 5 lmfao. toriguel never speaks to each other again after season 3. which is insane. INSANE! quick note ck writers, people of the opposite gender should not become irrelevant to you just because you're not dating them!

[11queensupreme11]

How did yandere react to people who fell in love with percy from pjo(bianca, ethan,Rachel etc)

nah you can't convince me that at least half of the camp DIDN'T have major crushes on percy fucking jackson, i KNOWWWWW deep in my bones that it's more than just those guys

ofc, anthonius, rachel, bianca, and ethan (for my fic at least) are the ones who felt actual love while everyone else had crushes/infatuations!

BUT STILL

percy jackson is soooooooo "that one hot kid everyone likes" material cuz she's PERCY FUCKING JACKSON. she's the ✨it girl✨

she is so famous (in the myth world at least, but she's also lowkey popular with the mortals close to her) and literally their number one hero (strongest demigod in history AND strongest demigod of today lmao)

she literally saved the world multiple times

is the star of many quests (some unwilling lmao)

literally EVERYONE knows her

people probably idol-worship her like nico lowkey did at the start lol 😭

also it's impossible NOT to like her. percy is canonically a genuinely good person who always tries to do the right thing. she's dependable (except when it comes to protecting ur sisters LMAO sorry), protective, sweet, friendly, generous, heroic, helpful BASICALLY A SHIT TON OF POSITIVE TRAITS 💖 she's got respect from most gods too!!! minor gods and friendly titans even like her because of what she did for them and their kids after the war!!!!

but anyways, the yanderes. would. HAAAAAAATE it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

it's one thing to be popular, but it's another to be sooooooo widely fucking loved cuz literally NONE of the yans have experienced it.

everyone knows poseidon and beelzebub but they're feared. everyone knows apollo, but he's a bit arrogant sometimes so he's not that liked, anubis is 50/50 cuz he can be annoying to some people, loki is... well, yeah 💀, hades is popular and respected but not exactly ADORED you know?

and then there's cú chulainn. he is the exact opposite of percy. EVERYONE knows him from gods to humans, but they haaaaaate his fucking ass jhfadhfvajhs 😭😭😭😭😭

percy has people who love her, like her, care for her, are loyal to her, adore her, and that's something that would blow the yandere's minds and also make them seethe in jealousy and want to horde her in their respective palaces because being popular AND loved means more love rivals and threats and they can't have that 😂

[thebearer]

rewatching shameless and listen haaaaaate lip and karen but him fucking her in the bathroom stall has me SCREAMING. like the way he’s carrying her and like kissed her jaw and talks about how his cock is thrusted into her and he still isn’t keeping her attention sndndndnd i want him so bad

i would fix him fs

i hate him and karen like it’s so toxic but they had some moments i won’t lie.

the scene where he tells her he loves her mid-sex then is like freaking out after? confirms he’s a missionary i love you sayer, and makes my mind go CRAZY.

and how he gets so possessive??? please PLEASE it’s the toxicity in me i know it is, but if he would act that way for me idk. i would’ve married him and had his kids.

i also had a very horny thought that when lip is sober and feels like he might relapse, he just fucks you. not the healthiest but he needs to do something to get his mind off it, and what better way than eating you out, or finding new things to try. channels it into sex and trying new things out, new techniques, anything and really- to him it’s better than drinking.

[miquellah]

Your take on the "Malenia was charmed by Miquella?" theory!

says im taking a break and then sees this one in my inbox. i HAAAAAATE THIS ONE FBDJDHSHD and you’ll notice the only ones really bringing it up, are people who just hate miquella

malenia is honestly the LAST person he’d need to charm anyway. i see his charm as halfway being like, a defense mechanism, and he’s got no reason to wanna defend against her. plus like, she’s his twin. they’ve grown up together, they’ve suffered together. he is literally the one who crafted her prosthetics, who made her that needled. not only is there no explicit evidence he would’ve charmed her, there’s no need at all! a bulk of the reason he even likely wants to BECOME a god is so he can save her!

when DLC first dropped and people started going “ohhh my god the trust and love of the twins is OVER” i was so distressed about that. then i actually played the dlc and was like…. hey… so u guys really were just making stuff up, huh. bfhshsbsj

[pilebunkers]

Do you have any headcanons for what the AC6 characters' real names are?

For clarification's sake, I consider someone's "real name" to be their preferred name: that is, the name they introduce themselves as and prefer to be addressed by. I imagine what you're actually getting at with 'real name' is what we commonly call a 'legal name' which would appear on something like a hypothetical Arquebus-stamped passport. I call that their 'contract name' for various reasons I'll get into the weeds about below.

I like the severely dehumanising aspect of augmentation and to that end I think all augmented humans cease tor have common first name last name and have, instead, their designation as their contract name. That is: C4-621's name is C4-621. If they were Jean D'eau or Larry Foulke or Chad Assnoble before augmentation, that's irrelevant. They're C4-621 now, and whatever callsign they choose to adopt. Referring to an Augmented Human by their old contract name lies somewhere on the spectrum of rude to disrespectful to faux pas, unless you've got a family name powerful enough to come before an augmentation contract. But those are rare.

(This is why names as callsigns are common among independents: because most people have no strong feelings about their contract name. It just makes sense to be called what you're called.)

So, for people like Carla, both her contract name and preferred name are Carla [Family Name]. I haven't thought too hard on family names for Walter, but there's the commonish headcanon of Nagai as his family name that I see as plausible enough so let's run with that. Not because his contract name is Walter Nagai but because I think he'd use Nagai in honour of the man who sparked the Fires. We know he's got daddy issues. C'mon, he haaaaaates his father. He'd never use that name willingly.

Everything else is under the cut! I only put in the people I have clear inspiration for right now but I'll probably write on others later.

Independents

621's contract name and preferred name are C4-621. Their route to augmentation was highly privileged and as a result they have a much more positive view of gen four than most of their peers and use the designation with pride.

King's contract name is Arthur or Alberich or Malik or Melech or Minos or Rex or Richard or Iskandar or Ulrich or something. It means King. It's a pun, and he's full of himself, get it?

Chartreuse's preferred name is Chartreuse. As an independent who can pick what she's called, it makes sense she'd make her callsign match her preferred name. It also means her nickname is Char, who is someone many of my followers seem very normal about, and that amuses me.

RaD

Given the chaotic nature of the Doser factions and Carla's hands-off approach to her cover op, I think RaD is more of a net for contractless (and therefore stateless) Rubiconians. Most RaD members just take their callsigns as their contract and preferred names.

Except for Chatty. Chatty's just Chatty. AIs don't have contracts and therefore don't have rights. Sorry!

Vespers

Freud's contract name is something long and unpronounceably Dutch. It's his preferred name too, though the annoyingly glottal nature of his native tongue means he usually shortens it to J in non-work environments.

Snail's contract name is his augmented human designation 0812 134 460 FE. His preferred name is a noble, elegant, high class, kirakira ass corporate name he invented himself.

As an augmented human two times over with an uncountable number of cover identities, I think O'Keeffe goes through names like lighters. Once, as part of a sufficiently powerful Cererian family, he was one of the few augmented humans to keep their family contract (and therefore his family name) alongside his augmentation contract. It's an embarrassingly old-fashioned, extremely patriotic name that makes him cringe to think about, and honestly was a little relieved when he was cut out of the family contract and fully became C2-030. Now he's 0919 057 311 TN to Arquebus and has no preferred names, just contextual ones.

After augmentation, Rusty's contract name is his augmented human designation, 0842 108 258 BA. But his preferred name is his previous contract name. I know it's Japanese at its base, but can't decide whether it's a wholesome everyname, a cliche shonen protagonist name befitting of his role in the game, or some noble, elegant, high class, kirakira ass corporate name his bootlicking parents bestowed upon him. I also sometimes just call him Mifune.

Redguns

Michigan's preferred name is Michigan and has been ever since his days in Furlong. Is that his given name or his callsign? Yes. His contract name is his augmentation designation, C1-141. But don't call him that.

Nile's got the most red, white, and Balamite blue name you can think of for his preferred name.

Wu Huahai has a sexy, powerful, businesslike preferred name. He and Snail should swap notes.

Red would call himself Michigan Jr if Michigan would allow it.

RLF

Flatwell's contract name is an embarrassingly old-fashioned, extremely patriotic name that makes him cringe to think about, and he was a little relieved when Dolmayan enforced callsigns on a more permanent basis. I think he'd consider his preferred name Flatwell. Or General Flatwell.