#he gotta be the moneybags

[eluminium]

Impulses motivation for playing Phasmo today outside of his addiction is "so he can be the sugar daddy and care for his guys."

I guess it's hard to be a single working ghost hunting mom of (checks notes) 5 when you're a guy, the 5 are grown men who are equal or a bit younger then you in age, and you are already a father.

[mattitties]

Boyfriend, pt 2 - matt sturniolo

you guys asked, so i delivered (hopefully)

part 1 here

I left the party last night feeling on top of the world. I recounted everything to my best friend the second Matt had left and she came back to me.

“I came back from the bathroom and saw you guys totally hitting it off, so I just stood back and watched. I thought he was about to bend you over the bar and fuck you right there,” she told me. 

It’s now the next morning and I’m trying to distract myself and not think about the fact that he hasn’t texted me yet. It’s only 10 AM, so I really shouldn’t be worried, but as someone who doesn’t talk to boys literally ever, I am naturally very worried. 

As the hours pass and it’s now 2 PM, I go into my roommate’s room. “Why hasn’t he texted me? Do you think he was just fucking with me? What if I didn’t give him the right number and he’s now texting some other hotter bitch instead of me? What if I was-” I start to ramble before she cuts me off.

“Oh my god, shut up! It’s been like 14 hours, chill out! He’s gonna text you, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. We don’t know anything about him, he could be sleeping still or he could be having a busy day. Take a Xanax or something, good gracious,” she tells me, finishing just as my phone vibrates.

I check it absentmindedly, fully expecting it to be my mom or a spam text, but instead I see an unknown number.

Hey it’s Matt, just wanted to see when your free to hang out?

I let out a shriek and show my roommate my screen.

“Fucking told you!” she says excitedly before her face changes. “Oh boy, he’s one of the fuckers who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re. You gotta fix that.”

“Oh for sure,” I say, starting to type in my phone.

hey :) i’m free tonight or tmr if either of those work

Tonight is good, I can pick you up around 6 and we can get dinner. How does Boa sound?

“Oh my god. He wants to take me to Boa,” I tell my roommate. I’m just about on the verge of vomiting everywhere.

“Oh fuck yeah! Mr. Moneybags over here!” she cheers.

that sounds great!

Sick, whats your addy so I know where to pick up my gf ;)

I give him my address, turn off my phone, and immediately go to my room to take an everything shower and get ready.

I’m finishing up my hair at 5:30 when I get another text: Leaving now, be there in 15 min. I made reservation for 6

I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I was so confident around him last night, but now I feel like a completely different person. I’m terrified I’m gonna be an awkward mess when I get in the car and he’s gonna wonder what happened to the girl he met last night and I won’t even be able to eat I’m so nervous and–

Nope, I’m not worrying anymore. It’s gonna be fine. I triple check everything to make sure I look good, and finally he texts that he’s here.

I grab my bag, go downstairs, and open the front door to our apartment complex, where I’m met with a very familiar face standing next to it. He’s wearing a black short sleeve collared shirt, blue jeans, and a black baseball cap he put on backwards. Man, he looks good as fuck. 

He looks up when he sees me and smiles. “Hi,” he says. “Car’s right there. I was going to come in but then I saw I had to be buzzed into the building and I didn’t know which apartment was yours, so…” It seems that his confidence from last night has lessened quite a bit as well, as now he’s just awkwardly rambling. I find it adorable.

I shake my head and smile. “You’re fine, this is perfect.” I follow his lead to his car, and am surprised when he opens the passenger door for me. “Thank you,” I say as I get in, and he shoots me another quick smile before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. 

“So Boa, huh? You really are trying to show off your YouTube bucks,” I joke.

“Me and my brothers go there a lot, it’s not really that expensive,” he says. 

“Speak for yourself! I was looking at the menu and almost had an aneurysm at the prices!”

He laughs and glances at me. “Well lucky for you, you’re not the one paying, are you?”

We continue our banter for a few minutes before there’s a lull in the conversation. “Do you wanna put some music on? Here’s the aux cord,” he tells me, pulling out a cord.

“Oh,” I say, immediately regretting all my life choices. I am historically NEVER on aux in any situation because my music taste is comprised of Taylor Swift, dad rock, and depressing music. “Um… you may not like my music. We can just play whatever you like.”

He looks at me wearing a tiny frown. “What! You’re the passenger, you get aux. Whatever you play will be fine.”

I sigh dramatically as I plug my phone in and queue Taylor. “Okay, but if you don’t like it, just remember I gave you a chance to say no.” He nods. I watch his face to gauge his reaction as “The Story of Us” starts to play, and I roll my lips into my mouth to hide my laughter when he recognizes the voice. 

“Yayyyy,” he says sarcastically. “I love Taylor Swift…”

The rest of the drive consists of me explaining to him that if he was willing to give her music a try, he would definitely enjoy her music. I was fully expecting him to laugh it off and come back with some smart ass comment about her as nearly every other man does, but he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. “You’re right,” he told me. “Maybe we can listen together and you can show me more of her stuff!”

I think I fell in love right there.

When we arrive at Boa, the man nearly eats shit rushing around to open the passenger door for me, and walks slightly ahead of me to get the door for the restaurant. Neither of us have any ounce of the same flirty energy we had last night, but there’s no awkwardness at all. I still can’t believe this is happening. The hottest guy I’ve ever seen, he’s a perfect gentleman, we have so much in common, and he’s actually into me? It seems far too good to be true.

“So,” I say when we get seated, “what exactly made you feel the need to come up to me last night? Did I really look that uncomfortable?”

“Oh, you looked like you were about ready to sink into the floor. I mean, in all honesty, I was kind of eyeing you all night but I didn’t have the courage to come up to you, so I guess I sort of used that as an excuse to do something. Plus saving you from creepy guy and all,” he replies.

“Well, thank you, no matter what your reasoning was.” I look around the restaurant. I feel so out of place, it’s disgusting. I’ve only lived in LA for a couple months, so I still feel like I don’t belong, especially when I end up in the same restaurants that people get papped outside of. But somehow, even in a place like this, I feel oddly safe and at peace with a man that I met not even 24 hours prior. 

I’ve never been much of a great conversationalist; if I’m in a one on one conversation, the other person needs to be a rambler for it to not be awkward. But he’s not a rambler, and we both are just so invested in what the other person is saying that it’s somehow a never ending conversation. We have so much in common – our love for movies, Legos, journaling, us both attempting to get back into reading after going so long without it – I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. It’s so refreshing, and it’s terrifying. I know I’m going to fall for him fast. I may be already, but I can’t be. We just met. 

He pulls me out of my trance by repeating his question. “You ready to go?”

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, thanks for paying,” I smile as I get up. 

“Of course! What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t pay on our first date?” he jokes. 

“Ohhh, our first date? Does that imply there’ll be a second?” I ask as I get in the car.

“Would you like there to be a second?” 

“I mean I guess…” I smirk at him. We’re both looking at each other, smiling ever so slightly. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now, and I’m 99% sure he wants the same based on the way his eyes are shifting focus from my eyes to my lips. I’m about to lean in when –

“I should get you home.”

Oh. I nod. “Yeah… yeah, probably.” I sit back in my seat.

He turns on the car and Taylor Swift blasts through the speakers. “JESUS–” he yells, turning the volume down as we both start laughing. “I know I said you could show me her stuff but let’s take it down a notch, god damn!”

We don’t talk at all during the drive home, but it’s nice. Just the music in the background, and subtle glances between us every so often. When we pull up in front of my apartment complex, he parks the car and turns it off, then starts to get out.

“You don’t need to get out, it’s okay,” I tell him.

“Well I have to make sure you get into your apartment safe, don’t I?” Again, what a gentleman. I didn’t even think people like him existed anymore. I smile to myself and lead the way, taking him up to the 4th floor and down the hall to my door. “I guess this is where I leave you?” he asks.

“Unfortunately, this is where you leave me.” I’m looking up at him, he’s looking down at me. I can tell he wants to say something, and I hope it’s what I think it is.

He opens his mouth, takes a sharp inhale. “Can I kiss you?”

Bingo. I smile and nod, holding his jaw lightly in my hand. He takes my waist with one hand and the back of my head with the other, and our lips collide softly in a matter of seconds. I haven’t kissed many guys, but they’ve always felt just a little off and I never knew why. But this? This feels right. It’s gentle, but our tongues slip into each other's mouths as the kiss grows deeper. I know I need to stop this here, as much as I don’t want to. I give in for a few more seconds before I pull back. 

“I, um… I need to go inside,” I tell him, completely unable to wipe the smile off my face.

“Okay,” he says, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll text you, because yes, there definitely will be a second date.”

“Good.” I kiss him one last time before I unlock my door. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

———————————————————————

i probably won’t do a part 3 because idk how to keep it interesting from here but if you have other fic requests lmk and i’ll do my best 😚

[ellisgirl]

My thoughts after finishing ellis’s 1st birthday story

⛓Spoilers⚠️ + I went through this story based solely on gg translate so it could be somewhere I misunderstood or incorrectly narrated

All I can say is that he is a pure fluffy puppy pffff lol I can see that his route will contain a lot of his childhood trauma and the fact that he somehow stated that today(his birthday) is “our” …(birthday?) makes me think that he may have twin? Or maybe my gg translate is broken 😞 We learned that he doesn’t like his legs being touched due to his trauma (I swear I will never lay a finger on your legs😣 never!)

And now we can proudly say that ellis is so physically attractive since there is a stranger woman hitting up on him while he was waiting for mc😏 He is so nice to her, even thougn she did lie to him. (My poor baby is so angel to everyone)

I love that jude gives him a blank cheque every year as a present(this mf moneybag i wish i could be your laborer😩)

At first i thought he will be blindly obsessed with mc’s happiness in this year story, but turns out he has progressed! When mc asked ellis if he was okay bc his face was pale after being triggered by that stranger, he was like okay gotta keep promise to mc that if he doesn’t feel okay he doesn’t have to endure or tolerate on his birthday, so he spoke up😭 that he was thinking about something unpleasant in the past. And love that mc did not ask him why or what happened, only listening to him which makes him more comfortable

[tothesurfacebioshockau]

Hello Silas

How do you feel about Cohen and the other disciples now that you've escaped? Do you ever miss your time studying/working for him?

Even though i miss workin with him a bit doesn't mean i miss him as a person. But i do miss my shop... and my records. I grabbed some of my collection before headin out but some dumbass fell on them and broke his arm. I can't be mad at him. He's new. But like how do I feel about him??? Anger mostly. Rage. That's all I can feel at the moment. I really want a rematch, but I actually hope he's dead before I can get to him. I gotta go Moneybags wants me to channel my rage in the crawl space under the house. He thinks there's a family of possums or raccoons under there or something.

We're in Maine. I kinda want to go home. I miss home.

-S.J.M. Cobb

[medea10]

Medea Played Pokemon Scarlet & Violet, The DLC's (Part I)

Previously on Shit-post Theater

This. That. Also This. That too.

Yeah, it's been a minute. I've been holding off on doing one of these since the first DLC that dropped back in December really didn't wow me as much as I thought it would. So I waited until the second one dropped. Only to learn that an epilogue was coming soon thereafter. That was awfully kind of them. Okay, sit back.

Maybe throw away that sandwich you've been holding onto since November of 2022.

At the start, Jacq-strap tells you about an opportunity to go on a school trip to Kitakami. A region that was just pulled out of thin air...

And here we are!

You're in Kitakami with three randos from the academy, being chaperoned by Ms. Briar, who is an instructor at Blueberry Academy in Unova. And if that doesn't sound familiar to you, it will soon enough.

Soon after, you are accosted and insulted by one of Blueberry Academy's finest asses, Carmine.

The little one behind Carmine is her little brother Kieran. Now that I finished that interruption. I gotta do something really important.

There we go. I am complete. I can finally get a Clefable in these games.

A girl and her Clefable. Is there anything more perfect in this world?

I suppose I should look around this small region.

There's only one Pokemon Center. And it's an outdoor facility just like Paldea.

Gender neutral bathrooms along with boy/girl ones? Uh-oh, don't tell the right-wing weirdos on X.

More pokemon to catch as well. Even Jacq-strap gives you a special egg. I hope it's something...

Sigh. Gible, use Draco Meteor.

And then we meet these two oddballs. O'Nare and...the other one. I don't remember the other one. Biff or Billy or Monty Q Moneybags. Shit, I don't care. They're part of the Pokemon version of the Illuminati. And you'll find them in weird places throughout Kitakami and Paldea. Even on the jagged tippy-tops of the Great Crater. Follow them enough times and O'Nare will battle you a couple of times and you can get a few goodies like nuggets, big nuggets, and a phone case.

There's also a rumor that these two are really Nemona's parents. There's no proof of that and as of this date of posting, we don't know Nemona's parents. I have theories that she's the product of Goku and one of the compulsive gamblers on Kakegurui.

The point of this school trip is to go all over Kitakami and take selfies in front of certain landmarks. Each place tells you parts of a story involving a man, an ogre pokemon, and three "savior" pokemon. Through it all, you're with Kieran. That shy little cinnamon roll.

And then it's time for this mask festival. And you meet Kieran's grandpar...

Huh.

I could be wrong, but did Jessie and James wear disguises like this long ago? Nope? Sorry, my imagination! Okay, moving on.

At this festival, you can play this Ogre-busting game where you have to place mochis up before certain hungry pokemon eat em' up.

You can keep playing this game for a chance at winning a shiny Munchlax.

During the festival, you and Carmine come across that ogre pokemon mentioned prior and a teal mask. Hence, the name of the first DLC.

From this point on, you're going to learn more about Ogerpon. How he's not a bad pokemon and that the tale is fabricated.

And all of this is destroying the cinnamon roll. Kieran always loved the ogre from the stories and feels a little betrayed when you and Carmine hide the new revelations from him.

He is now a stale cinnamon roll.

It's not long before the three "savior" pokemon from the story crash the DLC and run amok all over Kitakami. Eating everything, stealing Ogerpon's precious masks, and turning into titan-sized pokemon.

So, let's get all of these masks back for Ogerpon and defeat those giant, toxic nightmares.

Ogerpon gets a happy ending where the villagers apologize for how it was treated by their ancestors.

Kieran will fight you again for Ogerpon, which ends something like this.

Oh, get up off the floor you drama queen. Shinji Ikari has more dignity than you right now.

And then you fight Ogerpon in a battle.

It's going to be tough since it has four masks, he's tera during the whole battle, and each mask changes his second type. But once defeated, you can catch it with 100% rate.

That's actually it. I was surprised when I finished it so fast. I was worried about taking too long playing it because I had a birthday trip around the same time of release. Speaking of...

I still find this cute.

After the Teal Mask main story, there were a few things we could do.

Like donating your hard-earned moolah to the caretaker in Kitakami. I know he ain't worth it like Honey in Sword/Shield, but...

Nah, I've got nothing.

You can finish off your Kitakami pokedex. There should be 200 entries. And if you fill 150 entries, you can help Perrin.

First of all, we were all wrong about who Adaman was ancestor to. I still want to believe that Adaman is somehow connected to Mikey from Tokyo Revengers. It's not possible, but I'd like to. Good on the creators for giving us Perrin in this game.

The game takes a small turn into Pokemon Snap! territory for a second as you have to take snapshots of pokemon in the wild.

And then you battle the special Hisuian pokemon.

This little fella is different from Legends Arceus. This is known as the Bloodmoon Ursaluna. And no, you can't evolve your Ursarring in this game. After you finish this mini game, Perrin will reward you with Hisuian Growlithe.

Fast forward three months later when you get that call from Clavell and has an old friend of his who wants to meet you.

Let's checkmark another gay couple to the Scarlet/Violet game I approve of.

Cyrano here is the director of Blueberry Academy and wants you to be an exchange student. Remember, this is the school that Kieran and Carmine go to and that Briar teaches at.

And that's it from me. Okay, go on and get out of here. Feed your Koraidon a sandwich.

To be continued.

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 27)

Bucky x Reader

A month had passed and there was no sign of Christian. He didn’t make contact but there also seemed to be no HYDRA but things aren't always how they seem. It was quiet. Too quiet. Things were different between me and Bucky. All I wanted was to be there for him in the way he always was for me but he was guarded lately. I’m not sure what was driving us apart. The week following Jamie's death we were closer than we’ve ever been. He was by my side through all of it. 

The funeral was held in the upper east side although I requested it be back in Covington. Jamie had ties in New York City with the elitist and it was out of my control. It was grand and I sat in the back row. All of the team came. I was thankful for that. It was elaborate and I couldn’t help but think that Jamie would have hated it. 

4 weeks ago 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nat asked y/n. She was all dressed up in a tight black dress and black heels to match. 

“I’m fine. I’ve come to terms with it. I’d rather the funeral not be at the damn Louvre but it wasn’t up to me” Nat smiled at Y/n’s joke 

“Some people would kill to have their funeral at a place like that.” 

“And some people are killed to have a funeral at a place like that” Y/n said back. Nat was silent. Yn started laughing. 

“Nat. Come on. That was funny.” Nat scoffed but there was a smirk on her face.

“Alright. Enough with the jokes. It’s showtime. We have to put on our game faces.” Both y/n and Natasha walked out to the common room with their faces stoic as ever. Steve and Sam sat on the couch and stood up when the girls entered the room. 

“How are you doing?” Steve asked genuinely. Nat looked at y/n and they both started hysterically laughing.

“You either have shit on your face or they’ve officially lost it.” Sam said aloud. Nat stopped laughing and put a serious look on her face but as soon as she looked at y/n they both lost it again. This time Steve and Sam started laughing as well. Nat poured drinks in short glasses and they all clicked glasses. Steve immediately spit it out. 

“What is this?” He asked with his face scrunched up.

“Fireball. We gotta get a little fucked up before we have to with the fat cats” Nat downed the rest of her drink. Y/n smiled and went to pour herself another. 

“Steve, you might want to drink up. We are going to sit with like 100 of Tony clones.” Y/n joked. Steve drank the rest of his drink and pursed his lips together. 

“What are we talking about? Me I hope.” Tony sauntered into the room with his expensive suit. 

“Oh you have no idea” Y/n mumbled and Nat must have heard it because she started laughing again. 

“Anyway. Clint can’t come. He is with the kids. He told me to tell you that he loves you and he’s sorry.” Tony said. Y/n raised her glass again. 

“To Clint!” She had to be on her fourth glass at this point. Hell it was a funeral why not make it a party. 

They all made it to the limos that Tony had ordered and Bucky came down. He was fidgety and y/n couldn’t help but notice. She put her hand on his thigh and he looked over at her. 

“Have a drink” She grabbed the bottle of tequila she had stashed in her purse. She took a swig and handed it to him. He didn’t think twice before throwing it back as well. The bottle was passed around to everyone beside Steve politely declined. 

“Thor. You got any of the good stuff?” Y/n breathed. 

“Of course!” He pulled out a flask and handed it to her. She poured some in the champagne flute and then one for Bucky. 

“To Mr. Moneybags for getting us this limo.” She cheered with Bucky. 

“You know me. Philanthropist by day, playboy by night.” He smirked. 

“Jar. Jar. Jar. Jar!” Nat took an empty glass and placed it on the little table in front of Tony. He rolled his eyes but threw a hundred in it. They got to the funeral and sat in the back. The place was packed. 

“Who knew Valentino had so many friends” Sam uttered. 

“Acquaintances. He didn’t like any of these asshats. They're all here for show anyway. It’s an investment opportunity.” Y/n said.

“Business as usual.” Sam said back. The funeral progressed and it was boring of course. There was a gathering in the ballroom following the ceremony. It was way more upbeat. Drinks were being passed around and the sounds of laughter were heard. 

“I say we blow this popsicle stand and go to a real party.” Tony said. Steve looked at him incredulously and was about to tell him how insensitive his remark was when y/n jumped in. 

“Tony. That was the best idea you’ve ever had. You’re a genius!” She grabbed a drink off of a server tray as he walked by and headed toward the door. The limo was waiting out front and Bucky was quick to follow her. 

“Where to?” Happy asked. Tony looked toward y/n and she smirked.

“The Delancey.” Tony said and he started to play some music and LED lights lit up the back.

“Tony, are you kidding me?” Sam asked. He was starting to smile as the Teach Me How Dougie came on. He saw the smile on y/n’s face and he stood up. He hit the dougie as he made his way to y/n.

“May I have this dance Ms. L/n?” He stuck out his hand. She got up and started to dance with Sam. They were all laughing and eventually Nat joined in and Thor tried to dance but was not hitting any of the moves. Everyone was laughing. Y/n started dancing in front of Bucky. He smiled but stayed sitting, his arm casually resting on the back of the seat. 

“Come on, Sergeant, show me what you got.” He got up and Nat changed the music. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough came through the speakers. Bucky started to sing to y/n and she looked surprised he knew the song. She started to voice the Tammi Terrell's part and everyone started to join in. 

“Cap, I know you Marvie Gaye.” Steve smiled and he reluctantly got up and started dancing and singing.

“No, no, baby!” He started screaming. Tony screamed and pretended he was having a heart attack. 

“Oh my god the fossil has been brought to the 21st century!” The rest of the night was a blur but everyone had fun. The most fun they had in a long time. It felt like things weren’t as serious anymore. The weight of the world was lifted and every bad thing had been forgotten for the night. Bucky and y/n made it back to their room. Bucky basically holding her up. As soon as they made it to the room y/n hit the bed with an ‘oof’. She rolled onto her back and smiled at Bucky. He jumped on the bed and y/n laughed. 

“Thank you for today. I needed this.” She said as Bucky put a strand of hair behind her ear. She did the same thing as the bun in his hair couldn’t hold all of the front pieces. 

“Anything for you, doll.” 

“So Marvin Gaye huh?” She joked. 

“An icon. How could I resist?” 

“Alright then. Lets Get It On, Barnes.”

@cjand10 @blackbirdwitch22 @brnesblogposts

[orpheusredux]

Hi there! 💚 I, umm, wanted to ask about questions 23, 50, and 60 for the ask Eddie thing? Please? Thank you!

Hi! Thanks for being our first response to this call out! Just a reminder, these questions and responses are STRICTLY 18+, do not ask or comment or even look if you are a minor. Anyway, I just got Eddie's reply so I'll pass it over to him:

Hi @lucrezia-thoughts, hiiii. I like your pink hair, Princess. 

OK, whaddaya got for Daddy? 

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

What’s a text? Like a book? I once requested a copy of Lace by Shirley Conran at Hawkins High Library. Have you read it? It’s fuckin’ filthy. The clueless librarian actually got it in and like, 27 people had read it before someone snitched… and I got six weeks of Saturday detention. Totally worth it to see old Higgins’ face when he read the first chapter. 

That book was an education. A really fucked up education, but an education. 

I’ve never sent a dirty picture to anyone, but like the idea of taking dirty pictures. I’m something of a dirty pictures connoisseur, actually. Hustler, Penthouse, just the classics. Playboy is a little too art house for my tastes, but you know… any porn in a storm. 

I was seeing this girl for a little while, she lived in town and she was a - let’s call her a professional lady - anyway, she always had a bunch of polaroids around because she had this one client who liked to take pictures of her while they were, you know, conducting a loving and consensual business transaction? But she didn’t want to use an ordinary camera and then send the film to the fucking mini mart to get developed by some spotty, clammy handed teen who’s rip a few for himself, right? So, Moneybags bought her a polaroid. She says it’s great because he can snap away all day, it uses up all their time and she doesn’t have to blow him. That dame is one clever business woman. 

She let me take a snap of her boobs, once. It’s hidden in my copy of Lace, back at the trailer. She wanted to take one of my bare ass, so I let her. Fuck knows where that is. I like to think of it mixed in with the ones her client takes of her so he finds it one day and it drives him fuckin’ insane wondering whose lilywhite globes they are.

I gotta say, there was something pretty sexy about the whole thing, being naked, and being looked at, being appraised. And then knowing you look so good someone wants to capture that forever. That’s fuckin’ hot. But, like I say… don’t let any old jerk see your Polaroids. Gotta be discerning. 

50: How would you feel about taking someone's virginity?

I don’t want to get too philosophical here, but I’m not really into the whole virginity thing? I’m not religious, I dont think sex is dirty or nasty, or that breaking your fucking - what is it called? - your fucking hymen is some magical thing that means you’re a different person from the one you were when it was still intact. And I sure as shit don’t think losing it means you’re ruined. I don’t think you can have too much sex, or too little of it. It feels fuckin’ good, man. Just do it - or don’t, I don’t care. 

There are some, like, purity ring girls at Hawkins who are super into it, I guess. And that’s cool. But they always seem super frustrated with life to me, and like they use being “pure” to make other girls feel like shit, which way nastier than fucking the entire basketball team (even Jason fucking Carver), if you ask me. Also Becky Simpson, who was the head purity ring cheerleader or whatever let me finger her under the bleachers in 8th grade, so… you know, take everything they say with a grain of salt. 

Now, having said all that, if you want to talk about being someone’s first, about being the chosen one, who will usher them, pussy first, into the miraculous, mystical, magical world of orgasms? Then I, Edward James Munson, am your man. 

It is a fucking honour to be that person, not to mention a fucking responsibility. 

Like, you’re pretty much setting up their sexual expectations for the next however long. And what’s more, they will never, ever forget you, so you have got to be  - I was going to say good, but no pressure or anything. It’s just that you owe it to them to make it as relaxed, and pleasurable - and not shitty - as you can, right? 

Picture it like this: you’re the driving instructor, and this is their first time behind the wheel. You screw this up and they might never drive again. They might hate driving. They might even be slightly traumatized by it. You do not want to be the piece of shit who made some little sweetie terrified of parallel parking for the rest of her life, right? 

No, you want her rolling out of that lesson like Niki fucking Lauda at Le Mans, 1966 - all four wheels on fire. Is this the least sexy metaphor for sex ever? Yes it is. Fuck, I’m so sorry. 

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

OK, so I would - naturally - fuck Steve Harrington. I mean… who wouldn’t? You’ve seen him, right? You know of whom I speak? I mean, the hair, the other hair, on the chestal region, the face. Who knew being mildly bewildered and disgruntled 24/7/365 could be so attractive? 

I’m not into dudes in the ordinary course of things, I've only been in love once and that - that was with a girl. I'd - ah - I'd rather not talk about that.

But like, I’m not against the whole idea of dudes liking dudes? Each to their own. Wayne’s never married, and like…the rest of the family has nothing to do with him because of who he is - which, let me tell you speaks highly of the old man. Wayne’s no different from any other guy. Like I don’t know know that he digs dudes, or whatever, we’ve never discussed it. But he’s never had a girlfriend in the whole time I’ve lived with him, and Wayne Munson is a fucking catch. 

Having said all this, I’m only assuming I would be into guys if I woke up and I was a girl. Why am I assuming that? Hmmm… this sexuality thing is weird. Maybe I’d be into girls? Maybe both? 

Anyway, the thing is, Harrington is the least dickish guy I know. Like I know for a fact Rick would bone me as a girl - we’re stoners, so we’ve had this conversation several times -  but I also know it would be terrible. Harrington would at least give it some thought and consideration. He’d put on the moves, you know? Give me the full boyfriend experience. Coz if I know anything in this miserable life, it’s that Steve Harrington fucks. 

2. I would fuck Harrington again. But this time, I’d be on top - for fucking science, OK?  

3. I would casually suggest an FWB arrangement for the purpose of mutual education and gratification, to Robin - I don’t think I’d be her type though. But like, everyone needs to practice, right?

4. Hard to tell, either a threesome with Robin and Steve, or running for my life from Robin and Steve for sexually harrassing them. Harrington can be kind of uptight.  

5. Steve again. I think that would just about cover it.

____

A lot of love for our boy Steveo there, Eds. Nice.

Check out the list of questions if you want to ask Eddie anything. And don't forget to check out my AO3 and my masterlists.

Also, I hate to ask, but would you consider reblogging? It really does help!

(CAVEAT: Y'all know this isn't really Eddie, right? Because he is a fictional character. This is a writing exercise. I have no connection or relationship to the Duffers or Stranger things. I'm just fooling around)

[vampryn]

patriarchy were so good last night!! such good peggin fun,, the vocalist was super sweet as well, we had a good chat with her (although i was quite drunk at that point so i dont entirely remember the specifics). she was wearing a strap harness over her bottoms and honestly.. thats some fashion and i will happily steal that idea (sex gear as outerwear is a holy thing and im appalled i didnt think of the simplicity of jus a strap harness on its own). there was an 80s event that immediately followed, but after the first hour that bitch cLEARED so we got some dancing in to the sisters and siouxsie and spent the rest of the evening talkin shit over some chinese food~ my one friend even paid for ALL OF US?! im like ok moneybags you gotta chill chinese food is expensive af.. but he’s a gem so he’s like “buy me a beer”. ok brb finding a $30 beer lmfao like what. i love my friends though they put up with my unfiltered brain and sassy attitude and it feels right~ i feel like a cozy little egg in my carton of weirdos

[praycambrian]

ok it was inevitable. Ted Lasso leverage!au

Kansas City is getting their red-clad little asses kicked on the fullscreen above the bar and Ted’s had about one and a half drinks for every sack that poor QB’s crumpled under like a wet paper towel when a gentleman sits down next to him and says, in a My Fair Lady-kind of voice signaling that he sure as heck ain’t from around here, “Lasso? Ted Lasso?”

Ted looks over. Five thousand-dollar suit, thousand-dollar haircut, million-dollar-smile saying something Ted’s not too sure he wants to hear. 

“What gave it away, was it the mustache?” Ted says, and takes another long gulp of beer. 

“It can be difficult to be such a...recognizable person, I know from experience,” says Mr. Moneybags in a shiny, conciliatory kind of tone. 

“Well, sorry to say I don’t recognize you.”

“Nor should you, not in Kansas anyway. Rupert Mannion,” he says, offering a hand. Just for the sneering little way the man said Kansas, Ted doesn’t wipe the condensation from his palm before he shakes. “I own a London football club—or, well, I should.”

“Sounds like quite a long and interesting story,” Ted says, beginning the somewhat difficult task of pulling himself to his feet. “I gotta say it’s a real shame I ain’t able to stick around and listen to it.” 

“Not even for, oh, I don’t know, half a million dollars?” Ted freezes with his arm halfway through his jacket sleeve. “That ought to be enough to cover your son’s medical treatment, don’t you think?”

Ted’s still smiling. It’s the one thing he’s still good at. 

“Mr. Mannion,” he says, “you whip out any more personal details about a fella and he’s liable to think there’s more going on than you just happening to sit next to him at a bar.”

“Of course,” Mannion says. That smile has cooled into something a little smugger, a little surer. Ted finishes putting on his jacket, wanting his arms free just in case, even though the barroom floor feels about as steady as a schooner on the high seas. “Why don’t we go somewhere a little more private?”

“Ain’t nowhere more private than Buster’s at 2pm on a Tuesday,” Ted says, very politely not moving. He’s not lying: they’re the only people in sight, other than Ronnie the bartender, who’s sleeping in a booth with his jacket crumpled up like a pillow.

“Very well.” Mannion shrugs. “Ted, I’d like to offer you a job.”

Ted casually puts his hands in his pockets so their shaking isn’t visible. Never let ‘em see your tell, says his daddy’s voice in his head, not your real one, anyway. 

“I don’t coach anymore,” Ted says lightly. 

“Oh, no, Ted, I don’t want you to coach for me,” Mannion says amiably. “I want you to steal for me.”

Ted blinks. “I beg your pardon?”

“More accurately, let me say I’d like your help in supervising the recovery of some paperwork proving my ownership of my own football club. You needn’t be doing the dirty work yourself, of course; I’ve hired a few experts for that. No, the service I’m prepared to pay you handsomely to provide is to make sure those experts don’t double-cross me. Think of it like coaching: they’ll do the hard part, you just have to tell them how.”

Ted pushes his thumbnail into his palm, hard. “Whatever you might’ve read about me,” he says calmly, “or whatever you’ve seen on the television, Mr. Mannion, what on earth makes you think I’m willing to commit a crime just cause you offered me money in a bar?” 

“I’ve followed all the news, I know the whole sordid thing, and you know what? The whole time I’ve only become more and more convinced that you’re a rarity, Ted Lasso: a truly honest man,” Mannion says. “You wouldn’t break the law for money. But to save your son? To help me right a wrong, return to me the thing I love most in the world? Well, I’m willing to wager on that.” 

Mannion pulls an envelope from the inside pocket of his aggressively nice suit, places it on the bar with a tiny flourish. Then he tosses a couple hundred dollar bills on top of that. 

“For your tab, and for your time,” he says, nodding at the cash. “I hope you take me up on my offer, Ted.” 

He leaves as easily as he arrived. Ted stares after him for a long moment before he slumps back onto the barstool. 

Inside the envelope are blueprints, a plane ticket to London, three single-sheet dossiers—including little thumbnail pictures Ted most certainly does not look at—and a cashier’s check for two hundred and fifty-thousand dollars. 

Ted’s mama raised him polite, but there are some occasions when a man’s just gotta swear. 

“Well, shit,” Ted says. Then he drains his beer so he can go back to the motel and pack. The football game ain’t worth watching anymore, anyway.

[crusherthedoctor]

What would you like to see in Spyro 4, if it becomes a thing?

Spoiler: Most of these are not-very-important things that would nonetheless put a smile on my face, lol.

- Certain concepts from Enter the Dragonfly being given a second chance. In particular, the elemental breaths (which had become a staple by that point anyway), some level concepts (Jurassic Jungle and Thieves' Den plz), and the original intended storyline of Gnasty and Ripto teaming up.

- They don't have to be crystallized dragons again, but perhaps the main collectible could be similar to the dragons in Spyro 1, in the sense that they're full characters with their own designs, personalities, etc. This was one of the most beloved aspects of Reignited, so might as well take the hint, eh?

- If alternate playable characters are a thing, maybe set them up differently than in Spyro 3. I never minded how they were done in 3 myself personally, but I understand their reception is a tad divisive in the fandom, so I'd attempt to approach it in a different way for their consideration if nothing else.

- Some fans seem to prefer how Spyro 1's levels were more obviously linked thematically to their respective home worlds, but I always loved the more gung-ho, anything goes nature of 2 and 3's levels in each world ("Woah, an ice level with an Aztec theme! A haunted shipwreck! A fireworks factory!"). So I'd settle for a middle ground, where you have levels that are linked in SOME way with their home worlds, but are still able to be very distinctive from each other (for a random example off the top of my head: an Egyptian level, a Greek level, etc in a home world themed around ancient history).

- As well as that, I'd like to bring back Spyro 2's concept of linking every two levels to each other and/or having them contrast with each other in some way. I'd also bring back the intro and outro cutscenes for each level, since they gave them that extra bit of charm.

- As for the home worlds themselves, definitely give them another shared motif between them ala the seasons in 2 and the times of day in 3. Dunno what they could go with though... elements?

- This is a divisive concept as well, but I always enjoyed it, so if possible... more skate parks plz? Gotta have more opportunities to show off my elite Raging Ripto skillz.

- Keep it to the Insomniac style, obviously. I'm not opposed to Legends and/or Skylanders content seeping in, as long as they're modified to fit the Classic Spyro universe rather than the other way around.

- Doesn't have to be composed by the man himself (though if he DID make it in, even better), but please let the music keep the good ol' Stewart Copeland vibe. I try not to be elitist about these things, but I could never get into the soundtrack for A Hero's Tail because a lot of it was just your generic orchestral music. With Copeland (and even the GBA trilogy), Spyro's music was more unique and had more of a personal... oomph to it, even with the more atmospheric tracks.

- More Moneybags wankery.

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

my @ducktalessecretsanta2020​ for @neopuff/ @lettheladylead! They wanted something with Scrooge n Goldie. (Goldie centric, Louie could come too.) They would like writing or edits, decided to go with writing, as that’s mainly my specialty in the requested fields. They didn't want a big cast or anything and prefered a singular focus on Goldie, but Louie is there too, as I struggle to write single character focus stories(Apologies ;_;). They didn't want a specific holiday in their gift, so I just kept it ambiguous. Hope this is okay, bud, I’m none too experienced in writing stuff with romantic “themes”, so apologies if this is a little rough around the edges! This was a BUNCH of fun to do, so I’m hoping to come back next time this pops up!(Under the cut because it’s LONG)(Edit; special thanks to @analyticamethyst for telling me my secret santa and explaining a few things to me as this was my first secret santa I’ve ever done! You’re the best!)

Ah, the holidays...A time for family, a time for cheer! A time for hot cocoa and tales by the fire...A time for being generous and kind to one another, lest you end up on the naughty list.

“Goldie, I know you’re trying to find the code to me Money Bin.” Scrooge sighed.

Goldie shrugged, putting a book back on the shelf. “Actually, no, but ya can’t blame a gal for trying, Scroogie.” Goldie shrugged.

“Goldie, come on now! It’s the holidays! Don’t ye want a little peace and quiet? Just this once?” Scrooge asked, pinching his fingers together for emphasis.

Goldie shrugged, smirking. “I have the heart of an adventurer, Scroogie; my heart beats for adventure like a ping-pong ball on a drum in a bouncy castle.”

Scrooge facepalmed. “Curse me kilts, you’re incorrigible…” Scrooge grumbled.

“Ya know ya love me!” Goldie winked.

“Don’t I know it…” Scrooge sighed, smiling softly.

“So, Scrooge,” Goldie said, sitting down in a chair, sighing as she did so. “Any plans this holiday season?”

“Well, I’m probably going to spend more time with the family, what about you?” Scrooge asked.

“Well, if I ain’t adventuring, I may as well be teaching that nephew of yours, Louie, a few new tricks!” Goldie winked.

“You’re terrible..” Scrooge facepalmed.

“Hey, hey, hey! He needs help with a few business ventures and I’m willing to give him that!” Goldie smirked.

“Since when is pickpocketing a business venture?” Scrooge asked sarcastically.

“When you’re a part of the Mcduck family.” Goldie smirked. Scrooge sighed, chuckling and smiling softly.

“Curse me kilts, I swear I cannae stay mad at ye!” Scrooge chuckled gently.

“Don’t ya know it, Moneybags!” Goldie winked.

“Anyways,” Goldie shrugged, grabbing her coat and walking to the door. “I have something to go deal with.”

Before anything else could be said, she left, Louie following behind. “Wait up!” Louie called.

Goldie turned around, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t ya typically avoid adventure?”

“Yeah, but I wanna spend more time with you! Can I come?” Louie asked.

Goldie hummed thoughtfully. “Ya know what, sure!”

Louie grinned, following Goldie.

(In a shop elsewhere.)

Goldie walked out with all the supplies they would need for the adventure ahead.

“Ready, young duck?” Goldie asked.

“Born ready!” Louie nodded.

Goldie smiled at the excitement from the young adventurer, heading off to a cave.

“A c-c-c-cave…?” Louie gulped nervously.

“Yeah,” Goldie smirked. “What, scared?”

Louie gasped in shock, shaking his head. “No!” Louie pressed onward, earning a laugh from Goldie.

(In the cave)

Goldie walked through the cave, bouncing her flashlight off the rock formations inside, Louie staying close.

Goldie made sure Louie was still behind her, climbing over a large rock. “Grab on, Little Lou!” Goldie called.

Louie jumped up, Goldie grabbing his hand and pulling him over.

“What now?” Louie asked, sliding down the large rock to join Goldie.

Goldie shone her flashlight around the room, turning it off for a few seconds. Before Louie could ask anything, the room was lit up by the crystals in the room.

“Shimmer crystals; they catch any light and reflect it across the room. Nature’s flashlight!” Goldie winked.

Louie stood still, awestruck, while Goldie walked around the room, searching for...Something.

“What’d we come here for again?” Louie asked.

“A present for your Uncle Scrooge, a holiday gift, ya know?” Goldie called, sifting through a pile of rocks.

Louie made a silent ‘o’ before helping search.

“Anything in particular?” Louie called.

“A Shimmer Crystal geode that’s surrounded in gold! They’ve been spotted here a few times!” Goldie called back.

“A geode, got it…” Louie muttered to himself.

Louie shrieked as a loud crack sound echoed through the caves. “Sorry! Tried to find one by cracking a geode open!” Goldie called.

“Did ya?” Louie called breathlessly.

“...No!” Goldie called back. “Keep looking!”

Louie nodded, continuing the search.

“This is okay to do, right?” Louie called.

“This is a mine, Little Lou! This is what it’s made for!” Goldie called.

“Well...Okay!” Louie called back, continuing to search.

Goldie cracked another geode open, still nothing. Then another, then another, continuing before taking a break. “This is getting nowhere…!” Goldie groaned.

“I know, but I’m sure you can find one!” Louie encouraged.

“We’ve been through a lot of geodes, Lou, I’m not sure there’s any LEFT!” Goldie sighed dejectedly.

“I know it seems like that, but I’m SURE there’s at least ONE left!” Louie smiled softly.

Goldie sat back up, and with newfound determination, started going through Geodes once more.

“Any luck?” Louie called.

“Pyrite! Fool’s gold, but that must mean we’re getting close!” Goldie called.

Louie’s eyes brightened up. “That’s progress!” Louie smiled.

Goldie nodded, going through more geodes.

The Geodes started piling up, Goldie slowly getting closer and closer to finding the one she was searching for.

“FOUND IT!!” Goldie called happily. Louie jumped upright, almost falling over.

“Great! We can start heading back?” Louie asked.

“Yep! Just gotta wrap this baby up and-” Goldie said, wrapping it in protective layers so it wouldn’t shatter on the journey back to Mcduck manor in Duckburg.

Goldie stood up, starting towards the way they came, but stopping in her tracks as she heard a rumbling noise. “Uh oh.” Goldie peeped.

“What?” Louie asked, confused.

Goldie jumped back, pulling Louie with her as the way they came through caved in.

The two coughed as the dust settled from the cave-in, sitting upright and brushing off excess dust.

“You okay-*Kaff*-Little Lou?” Goldie coughed.

Louie nodded, coughing as well.

Goldie surveyed the area, looking for a way out.

“Up there!” Louie called, pointing up at an opening near the top of the cave.

“How can we get up there?!” Goldie frowned.

Louie hummed, tapping a finger to his beak in thought. “You can help me up, I can take a rock and your rope with me so I can make a way for you to get up!” Louie suggested.

Goldie thought it over, nodding in approval. “Okay, Little Lou, let’s do this!” Goldie smirked.

Goldie helped Louie up, Louie taking a rope and rock with him.

As Louie got up, he set the rock and rope up so that Goldie could safely climb up, holding it just in case.

Goldie climbed up, settling on the ground next to Louie.

“Now we just need to head home and give this to your Uncle.” Goldie said.

Louie nodded, the two getting up and heading out.

(At Mcduck manor)

Goldie and Louie exited the car, heading back inside after wrapping the Geode up as a gift.

“There you two are! Where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick!” Scrooge asked.

“We went out on an adventure, Scroogie.” Goldie smiled, handing him the box, earning a confused look from the scottish duck.

“What’s this abou-” Scrooge started.

“Happy holidays, Scroogie.” Goldie smirked, giving him a quick smooch on the cheek before heading off to go get some rest.

“Lad, what-” Scrooge started.

“Sorry man, can’t tell ya till tomorrow, it’s a holiday gift and I don’t wanna spoil the surprise.” Louie shrugged, smirking as he did so.

After Louie left the room, Scrooge looked the gift box over carefully.

“Hmm...I suppose waiting one day won’t hurt.” Scrooge shrugged, smiling softly.

[cynergy-laughter]

Obey Me! One Master to Abridge Them All! Ep. 2

2. Run Me Mammoney! (Rated PG-13, so at least one F-Bomb)

You’ve been summoned to the [House of Lamentation] for your move in. State your fave.

MC: *walking up to the House of Lamentation* So y’all live in this house?

Mammon: *leers* No, we live in the forest behind the house. *blocks the gate* if you wanna go through these gates, you’re gonna have to pay me 1,000,000 Grimm to break the spell that locks this gate.

MC: Who are you, Moneybags the Bear?

Mammon: Yes, now pay up.

MC: Nah, I’ll just cheat code my way in. *throws bag over the gate* YEET! *starts bouncing up and down, and swinging their hips left and right*

Mammon: Oh, you wanna dance battle with The Great Mammon!? Alright you idiot, let’s g-!

MC: *appears on the other side of gate* Heh, 3 stars, new record. *picks up bag and walks up to the door*

Mammon: W-W-Whaaaa?! H-Hey! Wait up!

*interview*

Mammon: Honestly, Enn can go back to where they came from. I don’t know why I, the Great Inescapable Mammon, have to watch over some puny, incapable human.

MC: ... He’s just mad that his pants fell down during a dance battle and I took a picture of him. He wears boxers with dollar bill designs on them... And for some reason I think that’s adorable... He’s so cute when he’s embarrassed...

————

Mammon: Now you wait just a minute, human! Do you know who I am?! What I am?! I will devour you without a second thought if you ever try to pull a fast one on me!

MC: *looking at the job on the board* Huh, Hell’s Kitchen, Help Wanted... I wonder if Gordon Ramsey is an exchange student here....

Mammon: Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you!

MC: *turns to him* Alright, what do you gotta say?

Mammon: I’m not doing this because Lucifer scares me! I’m the Great Mammon, nothing scares me!

MC: There’s a guy behind you.

Mammon: What did I say about trying to pull a fast one on me, huh?!

Levi: MAMMON!

Mammon: *screeches and jumps up in MC’s arms*

MC: ... *holding Mammon* Nothing scares you huh?

Mammon: Shut up!!

————

MC: So, he must be the Avatar of Envy, right? I only assume so cause he’s actually standing on his two feet right now.

Mammon: yes, this is Leviathan, third oldest.

Levi: Don’t change the subject, Mammon! Where’s my money? The money I lent to you?!

Mammon: ... I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Levi: Oh sure Mammon, you can buy yourself new Gucci shades, and new shoes, but for some reason you can’t get me my dang money!

MC: *blinks* shoulda shopped at Payless.

Mammon: I’ll get it to you, I just need more time, like give me one more week...

Levi: You said that twelve times in the last 4 weeks Mammon, either run me my money, or run out of this house!

Mammon: Uhhh... Look, Beel’s about to eat your goldfish!

Levi: Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!?! BEEL NO! *turns around, frantically, but then stops, and turns around slowly, Mammon was gone, MC was left behind*

MC: ... Well, congratulations, you are now in the running for the Moron of the Year Award. *claps*

———— In Levi’s Room ————

Levi: You ever watched anime before?

MC: I’m into Fruits Basket, love the manga, Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Durarara, my favorite is My Little Monster.

Levi: ... Normie. you haven’t watched reeeeal anime before.

MC: ... Oh great, just what I needed, a beardless neck.

Levi: If you want to get into some good stuff, you’ll want to get into The Tale of the Seven Lords.

MC: Yeah... whatever you say...

*interview*

Levi: There is no way I would ever want to hang out with someone like Enn. A textbook poser, and worst of all, a human! There is no way they would ever have enough culture to even be considered as one of my friends. But regardless, I need Mammon to give me my money back... so I enlisted in their help... to find a way to get my money back. For the record, this is strictly business.

MC: I agreed to helping him, cause, I don’t really have anything better to do... don’t have friends here, I might as well be the new kid on the block. But Mr. Gatekeeper thought he was cute to call Cardcaptor Sakura, Fruits Basket, and My Little Monster normie anime, so I sharpied one spot on one of his figurine’s teeth, I’m not telling him which one, and I wanna see how long it takes him to notice. Talk bad about me all you want, but I’d die before I let some obscure otaku talk trash about Sakura Kinomoto, Tohru Honda, or Shizuku Mizutani. Three strikes and get wrecked, scrub.

————

Demon1: So, you’re the new kid, huh. You don’t look like much.

Demon2: Yeah, you look like you got fear in your heart. And I think fear is delicious...

MC: *takes out Vaseline, puts big slab of it on their hand while they’re talking, and trying to intimidate, and slaps both of them at the same time*

1 & 2: AH! My face! It’s burning!

MC: *prepares another Vaseline slap* Y’all still here? I guess you want this next one to go lower and straight up, huh?

1&2: Aiieeeeee!! *runs*

MC: Yeah, get running! Next time, buy me dinner before you call me! Ain’t nobody got time to be dancing, the bell’s about to ring.

Solomon: Well well, the celebrity is addressing their adoring fans

MC: *blinks* Oh great it’s the Goblin King from the Labyrinth.

Solomon: Fiesty, you’re gonna need that in the Devildom. I’m Solomon, I’m the other human exchange student.

MC: You have no power over me you sonuvabitcj!

*interviews*

Solomon: A bit belligerent, but I sense good things from them, they have a bad temper, but I think things are gonna be a bit interesting around here...

MC: ... “How do you do, my fellow classmates?” Like who is he trying to fool? For someone who tries to give off a wiseman vibe, he just gives off Solomon from Lord of the Rings, if he found the Fountain of Youth. I don’t trust him as far as I can spit on him, and I don’t want to spit on him, I feel like he’d actually have a way to control me if I did.

————

Lucifer: Well, it seems you managed to survive the night, maybe you will be a promising exchange student. We’re you just talking to Solomon?

MC: And a good morning to you too... and you mean Chris Angel Jr. over there? Not really talking, so much as making a cross with my fingers at a skeevy looking guy.

Lucifer: Well, do not trust him, there’s something about him that’s off...

MC: Oh good, I’m not the only one... umm, by the way... what’s the deal with Mammon? Who exactly is he?

Lucifer: He’s the scummiest scum on this plane of existence.

MC: I mean yes, but I was more refering to what is his motivation in life, what is one thing he can’t function without?

Lucifer: ... Seriously? You haven’t figured it out yet?

MC: I just didn’t know if it was something else... I mean... where does he even get his money? He doesn’t strike me as someone who has a steady job. That’s more your Avenue.

Lucifer: As much as that flatters me, my job is to be Diavolo’s right hand man.

MC: You legit have the work ethic to get any job you want and have more money than Mammon.

Lucifer: Now you’re just stroking my ego. Well, having more money than him will always be true, cause I had his assets frozen.

MC: You don’t say? Well, at least his Credit Score is getting a break...

Lucifer: Let’s just say, it’s having a good long cry...

*interview*

MC: Lucifer is very strict on his brothers, but I saw that glitter in his eye when I was complimenting him. He really is the Avatar of Pride. And you cannot convince me that Lucifer and Diavolo aren’t at least dating... I’m about to Scooby Doo this mystery. And I got a year to sniff out the truth. As Sherlock Holmes would say, the game is afoot.

[katecarteir]

I want these words to make things right (but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life)

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] rating: teen & up word count: 10,531 summary: Richie Tozier runs an anonymous tip for superheroes in the town of New York City. Sounds like a great idea, until you throw in the ex boyfriend superhero he's still in love with, and the weird blue eyed man who somehow figured out the man behind the blog ⤹ a NOT birthday fic for the lovely leigh (@s-s-georgie) 

perma taglist: @jwilliambyers, @stebbins, @isaacslaheys, @s-s-georgie, @transrich@eddiefuckinkaspbrak, @edstozler, @emgays, @anellope, @thorn-harvester-ven, @wheezyeds, @vipertooth, @tozierking, @billdenbrough, @starrystoziers, @trashmouthtozierr, @willelbyers​ @itfandomprompts, @loserslibrary (let me know if you want added!)

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Spotted!: The one and only FlyBoy, rescuing not one, not two, but six students of New York University from a late night fire in the little coffee shop down on Old Broadway. Damages to the building were extensive- and it’s going to be closed for a very long, unknown future- but nobody was harmed thanks to our very own eye in the sky. FlyBoy, we salute you and I think we can speak for everybody when we say that we sleep better knowing you’re out there. 

Richie sent out the blast, still smiling at his phone. He’d barely even opened his eyes when he’d rolled over to grab his phone, which wasn’t anything abnormal. Richie ran one of the most popular blogs in New York City, completely anonymously. It had started out as his own interests, keeping taps on all the iconic heroes of their great and crime ridden city. It had quickly grown in regular viewers and subscribers, everybody realizing how coinvient it was to one location with all the information. More reliable information than the actual news, if Richie did say so himself.

“Really? FlyBoy again?” Richie’s roommate, Beverly Marsh, barged into Richie’s bedroom without knocking. “Don’t you think you’re getting a little too hung up on this guy? You’re running an update blog, not a FlyBoy fanblog.”

“FlyBoy is the guy to watch for.” Richie shrugged as he rolled out his bed, reaching out blindly for his glasses that he’d left on his bedside table. Beverly was standing at the edge of his bed with her hands on his hips. “Why are you looking at me like that, Mom?”

Beverly grabbed an NYU crewneck off the floor and threw it over his head. “FlyBoy isn’t the only superhero in the city, Richie! You’re falling off your brand and you’re going to lose your following. And in case you hadn’t noticed, your following pays most of our bills.” 

Richie rolled his eyes. He grabbed his lucky jeans off the floor and slipped into them without changing his boxers, getting a little too much enjoyment out of Beverly’s cringe. “Would you chill out? I’m still just reporting the news, Bev. It’s not like anything else happened last night.”

“Dr Incredible stopped a bank robbing,” Beverly pointed out without even needing to look at her phone. “You didn’t say anything about that. Not to mention- Captain Fast literally saved an entire family from plunging off a bridge in their car last night. You know, Eddie Kaspbrak? Your best friend? The love of your life? I think maybe that would be a little newsworthy, don’t you?”

Richie scraped his black curls into a bun at the top of his head and started throwing textbooks into his backpack. “Beverly, I have had my eyes open for all of ten minutes, and seven of them have been you lecturing me on how to run a blog. I will post the rest of the events from last night and anything that happened this morning on the way to class that I need to go to. Because I have a life, so unless you wanna take over all the blog responsibilities… get off my dick.” 

Beverly scoffed as Richie pushed past her out the door to his room, shouting at him that there was brewed coffee on the counter even as they both knew that Richie was going to be stopping at Starbucks for something that was more sugar and syrup than actual caffeine. 

Richie went to the same Starbucks every morning before class, and every evening after classes let out. Stanley from his Psychology 101 worked there, and he never failed to give Richie shit about his nasty habits. He was a scrawny man, with tight curls. He was always well dressed under his work apron, light coloured button ups and pressed jeans. He always looked so put together and proper that Richie wanted to frazzle him and mess him up completely.

Stan’s customer service happy expression dropped into a look of disdain. “You’re back. Again.”

“Everyday, Stanny, you know me.” Richie leaned against the counter and winked at the unimpressed barista. Stan turned away from him, putting Richie’s regular order into the register. “Gotta get that caffeine fix.”

“I’d hardly call this caffeine by any means.” Stan let out a scoff as he finished ringing up the order. Richie handed Stanley the cash, and tried to chase the barista down the line in the process of making Richie’s entirely familiar order.

“You can’t lean over the counter like that.” Stan said in a low, bored tone. “You know, you’re lucky it's in my job description to be nice to you.” 

Richie chuckled, watching as Stan applied a double spray of whipped cream that Richie certainly hadn’t paid for. “If this is you being nice to me, I would hate to see you mean.”

“Yes, you would.” Stan placed Richie’s pale drink down onto the counter and slid a straw over to Richie without Richie needing to ask. Richie grinned, and took a long, overly dramatic sip before turning away. He nursed the drink throughout his short walk to his campus building, and tossed it- half finished- into the garbage before ducking into his lecture hall. He slid into his regular seat in the far left side of the hall, then frowned as somebody sat down on the other side of him. 

It was a cute enough guy, with soft brown hair that flopped into his face. His eyes were an icy blue and there was a scar running through one eyebrow. Richie felt goosebumps jump up on his forearms as the boy stared at him.

“You’re R-R-Richie T-Tozier, right?” Bill said, voice pleasant even in the low tone. It soothed Richie in an odd way, and he felt himself lowering his guard even as he wondered why he was doing it. 

“Yeah…” Richie said slowly, lifting his pen towards his mouth and biting down on the bottom end. “And you are?”

“My name is B-B-ill.” He said, before glancing over his shoulder. He bit down on his bottom lip and leaned in closer to Richie’s space. “You’re the runner of Spotted!, right? The superhero tracker blog?”

Richie blinked at him. His teeth threatened to break through the plastic of his pen. He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked forward at the professor, droning on about something Richie couldn’t care less about, especially with how his heart was pounding in his chest. “Sorry, man. I think you’ve got the wrong guy.” 

Even as Richie refused to let his gaze waver from the front of the room, he could feel how Bill’s eyes continued to burn into the side of his head. “Well.” Bill said, voice somehow seeming much closer to Richie’s ears than he felt it should be. “If you a-ar-are the m-man behind the sc-screen, I th-thought you sh-should know that Pr-Professor Fly will make an app-appearance tonight.”

Richie jerked his head to look at Bill, but the other guy was already standing and making his way through the lecture hall. He didn’t even turn around as Richie unabashedly stared at him. Professor Fly had once been the biggest, most known superhero on the NYC scene. Along with the flight powers that his name implied, he’d also been strong and fast. He’d had a plethora of powers, so many it was beyond abnormal. Nearly three years ago, Professor Fly had stepped onto the scene with a mentee- none other than FlyBoy- and only six months after that he’d completely dropped off the face of the Earth. FlyBoy continued to work in the city, and make a bigger and bigger name for himself, but Professor Fly had not been seen in over two full years. 

It was juicy information, no doubt. The kind that made Richie’s stomach tense up and his palms sweat. If Professor Fly was coming out of retirement, that could only mean somehow seriously Bad was on the scene. But Richie didn’t run a gossip blog, and he would never post something he didn’t have any proof on. Not even something as huge as a potential Professor Fly comeback.

Spotted! Just a little  recap of last night’s busy activities in the city that never sleeps: Dr Incredible bringing a bank robbery to a skidding halt, making sure all our favourite rich bitches and Wall Street moneybags have their millions safe for another day! Thanks, dude! And OF COURSE, the adorable and flawless Captain Fast saving an entire family from certain doom, and looking absolutely mouth watering in that spandex as always while doing it. Keep it up, babe. The public loves you :*

“RICHIE!”

Richie hardly reacted as the apartment door busted open and Eddie Kaspbrak stormed into the living room. His hair was damp, flattened to his forehead from the rain outside. The same rain that had left stains all over his grey NYU shirt and blue jeans. His fists were tightened at his sides, and he looked absolutely adorable.

“How can I be of service, dear Edward?” Richie asked, punching at the buttons of his xBox controller. Eddie stomped forward and grabbed it from his hands, tossing it across the room. “Hey! What the fuck?”

“You can’t fucking flirt with me on your stupid blog!” Eddie cried, running his hands through his hair. “Okay? People are gonna… they could figure out who you are if you keep doing that!”

Richie sat up straight on the couch. “Okay, do you know how little sense that makes, right? I make flirtatious comments about every hero I post about. Except Dr Incredible, I think guys a fucking sham.” Eddie rolled his eyes as Richie carried on over him. “And even if I did flirt with you more than the other heroes, they’d still need to know who you are to connect the dots to me. So take a breath. If you don’t want people commenting on your spandex, don’t wear it.”

“This isn’t about spandex.” Eddie said, though Richie could see that the anger he’d been wrapped up in when he’d come into the apartment was quickly seeping out of him. “This is about you. I don’t want you in danger, Richie.”

“You’ve made that beyond clear, Eds.” Richie stood and stretched his hands above his head. “It’s pretty much all I’ve heard from you.”

“Rich…” Eddie said sadly, but if there had been anything further to that sentence it evaporated right from Eddie’s mouth. 

Eddie and Richie were diaper buddies, a real sandbox love. Richie couldn’t remember a point in his life without Eddie in it. They’d grown up inseparable, and Richie still remembered vividly when they’re relationship had begun to grow into something more. Junior year of high school, when Richie finally, finally found the nerve to ask Eddie out on an official date. And the next couple weeks after that were bliss in a way that Richie had never known. Until suddenly, Eddie had started blowing him off. Cancelling dates, and dodging Richie’s calls. When Richie had moved to confront Eddie about his behaviour, to beg him to at least end it and not keep him hanging on, Richie had learned the truth of Eddie’s powers. Apparently, it ran in his family and his mother had tried her hardest to keep it from Eddie, in desperate hopes that Eddie would be different but the powers can come nonetheless. Some smaller ones- a heightened sense of touch, and an acute sense of knowledge of a person or object by touch which Richie lovingly called his Vibe Checks- and of course, his speed. Eddie had always been a fast runner, ever since they were kids, and he had been shaping up to be a big track star before the Powers had appeared to him. Afterwards, however, Eddie could run the length of the entirety of the country in mere seconds. 

They’d stayed up together that whole night, talking and crying and kissing, and they’d felt so good about everything. Richie thought having a superhero boyfriend was maybe the coolest thing that could ever happen to anybody, even if he wasn’t allowed to tell another living being. While still living in Derry, things hadn’t been so different with Eddie having powers. Things really changed when they moved out to New York City. Richie had always known Eddie was a good person, the best person, but he’d never accounted for how Eddie’s powers would come into play when they were suddenly in a city with other Supers and a sky high crime rate. 

They’d tried to make it work, Richie beyond supportive in Eddie’s crime fighting causes. (Hello, superhero boyfriend? Still the coolest shit ever!) but one misstep, one single incident where Richie’s safety had been put on the line, and Eddie had stopped them in their tracks. It hadn’t even been because of Eddie’s identity, Richie had been in a strictly wrong place wrong time sort of situation but Eddie had lost it. Claimed that their relationship was a liability for Eddie, that Richie was Eddie’s biggest weakness and that Eddie couldn’t risk Richie’s safety like that. Richie had argued tooth and nail, claiming that breaking up didn’t mean that they weren’t in love and that Eddie shouldn’t be giving up his personal life for these powers but it had fallen on deaf ears. Eddie had packed up his belongings and left their shared apartment. They’d tried to stay friends, but the love between them kept things strained. 

Richie padded into the kitchen and grabbed a can of pop from the fridge. He offered one up to Eddie, who shook his head as Richie knew that he would. He hopped up onto one of the seats on the counter and stared Eddie down. Eddie leaned forward on his elbows. 

“We can’t keep having this same argument, Richie.” Eddie said in his prim and rehearsed voice. “It’s not because I don’t love you-”

Richie squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head quickly. “God, you just said we can’t keep this argument. I don’t need to hear this fucking speech again. You gave it to me when we broke up, you gave it to me six months ago on my birthday after we got drunk and-” Richie broke off and exhaled hard. “I’m sorry I talked about your spandex on my blog, I’ll try to tone down the flirting when I talk about you.”

“No.” Eddie sighed, resting his chin in his hands. “I overreacted. You didn’t say anything you wouldn’t have said about anybody else on there. And you’re right, people would need to know who I am to connect you to me. And nobody knows who either of us are.”

Richie blew out a long breath, flicking his thumb against the tab of his pop can. “Actually, Eds… somebody might know who I am. So, yeah, I should be more careful when talking about you on there. You’re the one who was right as usual.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open and he pushed away from the table to round on Richie. He grabbed him by his shoulders and forced Richie to meet his gaze. “Richie. What are you talking about.”

“I’m not really sure, honestly, it was weird.” Richie ducked out of Eddie’s touch, frowning as the memory of his class that morning washed back over him. “It was some.. Guy in my theory of screenwriting lecture? He just sat down beside me and he addressed me by name and then asked if I was the one who wrote Spotted!. I told him I wasn’t, because you and Bev are both always on my ass about keeping it a secret, and then he told me…”

Richie stopped and looked up at Eddie. Eddie stared back at him, holding Richie’s eye line longer than he had in the two years since they’d called an end to their romantic relationship. “What, Rich? What did he say?”

“He said that Professor Fly would be making an appearance tonight.”

Eddie’s expression remained blank for several moments before the usual chaotic energy took him back over. “Why would he say that? How does he know that? How does he know you? There’s no way that’s true, nobody has heard anything from Professor Fly for almost three years. Not even FlyBoy knows where he is, he’s retired. There’s nothing he’d come back for, not unless it was the end of the world big. Is this the end of the world big? Richie?”

“I don’t know, Eds. He didn’t give me an itinerary for the night's events.” Richie said. “I think he just wanted me to post it on my blog like I’m some sort of gossip column. It’s not a big deal.” But Eddie didn’t look convinced and Richie could practically hear the little hamster wheel in his head running. “Unless you know something that’s going to happen tonight?”

“No.” Eddie said immediately, shaking his head. “I haven’t heard anything besides minor crimes and car accidents the last couple weeks. It’s been… almost too calm. I don’t like the sound of this guy, Richie, and I definitely don’t like what he’s suggesting. I’m gonna- I’m gonna talk to some people. Don’t leave this apartment and don’t post on Spotted! until I get back.” 

“You’re not my boss!” Richie cried as Eddie tore out of his apartment like a tornado. 

Eddie returned quickly, as Eddie was prone to do. He stumbled into the apartment as dusk began to settle outside, a tray of coffees in his hands. “Okay, we only have a few hours to figure this out.” 

Beverly had been just getting into the apartment when Eddie had come in and nearly crushed her behind the door. She frowned as Eddie handed her one of the steaming paper cups and somebody came into the apartment behind him.

“Stan from Starbucks?” Richie asked with a frown, watching as Stan and another tall, black man he didn’t recognize came into his apartment. “Eds, I get you wanted coffee or whatever but you don’t need to bring the store back with you.”

Stan placed the only non-hot beverage down onto the counter. “I’m going to tell you something, and you need to promise not to be weird about it.” Richie stared at Stan with his drink raised half way up to his lips, and Stan let out a low sigh. “I’m FlyBoy.”

Richie whipped around to glare at Eddie, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “FlyBoy has been Stan from Starbucks this entire fucking time, and you didn’t think to tell me that?”

“It isn’t exactly my secret to tell anybody.” Eddie said with a chill to his voice. “And honestly, even if I could have told you, I wouldn’t have. You have a weird crush on him and the last thing we need is you running off and getting some high stress relationship with a superhero.”

A superhero who isn’t me. Eddie maybe didn’t say it, maybe wasn’t even aware that he’d implied the words at all, but Richie heard them perfectly clear. Richie scoffed, dropping his drink onto the counter and stepping away from the group just slightly. “You don’t really get any say in who I do or don’t like, Eddie. It’s actually none of your business at all.”

“It is if it’s something that’s going to put you in danger, Richie!” Eddie snapped back, hand cutting through the air. A manic gesture of Eddie’s that Richie usually found cute, but could only manage to find irritating in this moment. “You put yourself in harms way enough with this stupid blog and just even knowing me, I would never let you-”

“Let me? Let me?” Richie chuckled humorlessly. “You are not the boss of me, Eddie. You’re not my parents, you’re my boyfriend. So, thank you very much for all the over the top concern about whether or not I’m getting myself into trouble but I’m going to have to politely tell you to mind your fucking business for once in your life.”

Eddie gaped at him, almost forming words before losing them again. The black man who had come into the apartment with Eddie and Stan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry but this seems like a pretty serious personal issue, and we have something important we need to handle, so...”

“Yes.” Eddie said, voice cracking. Richie glanced at him and tried not to let the hint of tears that were pooling in Eddie’s eyes. “Richie, this is Mike Hanlon. You probably know him as-”

“Freezie.” Mike held his hand out and Richie only hesitated for a moment before Mike laughed. “Don’t worry, man. I have to actually want to turn you into ice for it to happen. Though I do have some horror stories when I first started developing my powers, I’m not gonna lie.” 

“Mr Medusa.” Richie said with a grin, gripping Mike’s hand firmly and giving a body moving shake.  Mike gave a laugh while both Stan and Eddie rolled his eyes at his antics. 

“You know how misleading that nickname is, right?” Stan asked dryly. “Mike turns people to ice with his hands, Medusa turned people to stone by looking at them and her head full of snakes. It’s really not even that close of a comparison, it just implies you don’t know anything about Greeky mythology.”

“Excuse me, I’m a gay Gen Z. Of course I fucking know Greek mythology. I read Percy Jackson.” Richie said with a wave of his hand. Stan gaped at him for a moment before Eddie blew the wrapper from Richie’s straw at Richie’s head. 

“He’s also a fucking Ancient Civilization minor.” Eddie said in a mixture of fondness and irritation. “Don’t let him fool you with his stupidity, he’s actually incredibly smart.” 

“Okay, yeah, this is great.” Beverly spoke up suddenly, dropping her shopping bags onto the kitchen counter. “But do you guys wanna tell me what the hell is going on exactly?”

“Yes, I’d like to know, too.” Stan said, taking a seat at the small, banged up wooden table. “Eddie didn’t exactly give much details as he was superhero sprinting around the Starbucks and making like $30 worth of product he didn't pay for.” 

Eddie waved Stan off. “We might be in for a long night.” He said, dropping into the seat beside Stan. Mike and Beverly both moved to take the last two seats around the table and Richie jumped up to sit on top of the table between Eddie and Stan. He maybe positioned himself a little bit closer to Stan, just to watch Eddie’s jaw clench.

“Richie, why don’t you tell everybody what you told me earlier.” Eddie said in his very best teacher voice. 

Richie sighed. “I still think you’re making too big a deal out of this, Eds, really. But basically some guy came up to me in class today, and accused me of running the Spotted! Blog and then told me that  Professor Fly is going to come back tonight.” 

Stan’s head jerked to look at Richie, eyes wide. “That’s impossible. Who told you this?”

Richie shrugged. “I don’t man, some weirdo. Think he said his name was Bill?”

Beverly startled at her seat, knocking one of the coffees to the ground. Everybody turned to look at her and her face had lost nearly all colour. “Uh… did he have a scar running through his eyebrow?” 

“Yeah… how do you know that?” 

Beverly scratched at the side of her neck. “I went on a few dates with him last semester, he's a weird dude. I wouldn’t read too much into this, I’m sure he’s just trying to stir up drama. His brother died when he was young, and he never really got over it.”

A shoulder crossed over Stan’s face and he sighed sadly. “Georgie Denbrough. That was…. A tragedy.” 

Mike and Eddie made matching sympathetic sounds and Richie pulse jumped. “Okay, you all clearly know what the fuck is going on, from your super secret like Justice League meetings or something, but anybody want to catch me up? Who is Georgie Denbrough and what happened to him?”

“Georgie Denbrough was Professor Fly’s biggest shame. His failure as a hero.” Stan said, voice almost completely monotone. “It was just before he started training me to take over for him, I’ve always suspected it was the reason why he was choosing to retire. The Professor was trying to save a group of children from a predator and somehow the battle got really intense. The predator had powers that The Professor hadn’t anticipated, and The Professor’s powers back fired when he tried to catch the man. It caused the building to explode. Most of the children were okay, scrapes and bruises, maybe a broken bone or so, but Georgie Denbrough… He lost an arm in the explosion and he bled out before help could arrive. The boy died and the villain got away. He never really recovered from it.”

“Neither did Bill Denbrough,” Beverly jumped in. “When we were going out, it was pretty much all he talked about. How Professor Fly killed his little brother and ruined Bill’s life. He hates superheroes because of it. He probably doesn't know shit, but at least suspects that Richie knows some heroes and will tell them what he said. It’s a set up.”

Stan nodded. “There’s no way The Professor is going to be out tonight. Nothing would pull him out of retirement, trust me.”

Eddie rubbed his hands together. “Maybe.” He said shortly. “But we don’t know that it’s a trap for us. It’s possible this Bill guy has something planned tonight to try and bring Professor Fly out. We can’t risk people getting hurt because we don’t know what this guy's plan is. I think we should have all hands on deck tonight if we can.”

“Eddie’s right.” Mike said. “Even if it is a trap for us, we agreed to this sort of risk when we started acting as heroes. We knew what we were getting into, we can’t just sit around and do nothing when lives are at risk. Best case scenario, this Bill guy is full of shit and just running his mouth and nothing happens but we need to prepare for the worst.”

“I can’t imagine him going so far out of his way to figure out who’s running that blog just for it to be nothing.” Stan said quietly. 

“Maybe that’s part of the plan,” Richie jumped in. “He wanted me to post about Professor Fly’s return, probably to lure out people and heroes to whatever it was he was going to do. Maybe if I don’t post it then he’ll just drop the whole thing because he’s not getting the audience that he wants.”

“You should post it.” Beverly said suddenly, using some of the shitty dollar store dish cloths to wipe up the spilled coffee all over the floor. A large round of disagreement spread out amongst the heroes until Bev held her hand up for quiet. “I might not know much about this whole superhero world, or whatever, but how are you supposed to catch this guy if he doesn’t go through with his plan? You can’t exactly go after somebody for figuring out that Richie is caught up with superheroes.”

Eddie muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like “I can fucking try” but none of the heroes had any sort of argument against Beverly’s claims. 

“Spotted! Isn't a gossip column!” Richie cried, tossing his hands in the air, nearly taking Stan’s eye out. “I’m not posting some unfounded bullshit about Professor Fly and killing my brand for this Bill dude’s fucking vandetta.”

“Your blog’s brand is more important to you than saving lives?” Mike asked, giving Richie big, sad puppy eyes.

“We don’t know it’ll save lives!” Richie argued. “For all we know, sending out a blast could be what gets people killed. If you think we should all go out and keep on eye on stuff, then fine but-”

“Whoa, whoa!” Eddie cut him off quickly. “What do you mean we? You’re not coming with us if we go out there, Richie. You and Bev aren’t leaving this apartment tonight, you could be a target!”

“YOU’RE NOT MY BOSS!” Richie leapt off the table and stalked away from Eddie, hands trembling at his sides. “I’m so sick of you telling me what I can and can’t do! You can’t control me, Eddie.”

Eddie’s head jerked back as though it had been slapped, and a wounded look crossed his face that Richie wouldn’t let himself feel bad about. “I’m not trying to control you, Richard. I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“Oh, really?” Richie laughed. “So, you making a point not to tell me you knew who FlyBoy was when you were under the impression I might have a crush on him wasn’t you keeping me safe, and not at all you not wanting me to date somebody that isn’t you.”

Eddie stood up and walked around to where Richie was standing angrily behind the counter. He didn’t touch him but his hands hovered just above Richie’s arms. “I didn’t tell you who FlyBoy was because it's a secret identity for a reason. It’s not like it was really my place to SAY anything to you about it, alright? You can date whoever the fuck you want, obviously, because I didn’t stop you from going on those dates with Connor Whathisfuck last year and I hated that guy so much it actually burned my soul. I want you to be happy, okay? I’d never stop you from dating somebody. Stan is right there if you wanna go ask him out right now, you pleeb.” 

Richie glanced over Eddie’s shoulders at where the people around the table were all staring at them. Stan wrinkled up his nose. “Please don’t.”

Richie rolled his eyes and snorted. “Don’t worry, Stan my Man. If I’d known FlyBoy was somebody as boring as you, I wouldn’t have dedicated so much time to him in the first place.” 

Richie tried to ignore Eddie’s relieved sigh in his ear. 

Eddie didn’t budge on his statement that Richie and Beverly would be staying behind at their apartment, as Richie didn’t budge his refusal to post false information on this blog. “If you want me to make some sort of announcement, it has to be something true. That’s just how it is.”

“You could post about seeing the three of us teaming up.” Mike suggested as Richie was really just focusing on not looking at his bare chest as he changed into his suit. “That will be enough to get the public's attention and let this Bill Denbrough know we’re taking him seriously without having to leak false information about Professor Fly.”

Richie nodded in agreement as Eddie padded over him to his little tight red spandex supersuit. Richie’s breath caught as it always did when he saw Eddie as Captain Fast. “Don’t say anything until you’re sure we’re a decent way away from the apartment. Just because somebody figured out that you run the blog doesn’t mean that we should be leading towards the place you live. Play it safe, Rich.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Richie waved it off, but they both knew at the end of the day even as much as Richie fought it, he was going to follow Eddie’s advice. As the group moved towards the front door, Eddie suddenly spun around and grabbed hold of Richie’s waist. He tugged him into a tight hug, pressing his face against Richie’s shoulder.

“Please, please, be careful, Rich.” Eddie whispered into Richie’s body. “I have a really bad feeling.”

“Yeah, Eds. I’ll be careful.” Richie squeezed Eddie tightly until the other man pulled back. There was a split second where Richie was certain that Eddie was about to lean in for a kiss. The moment broke as Eddie’s cheeks turned pink and he looked away. He pulled the matching red mask over his eyes and followed the rest of Mike and Stan from the apartment. 

Richie wallowed in his poor, confused little gay heart for roughly ten minutes before he took out his phone and sent out the blast. 

Spotted! What must be the coolest new trio in NYC: FlyBoy, Captain Fast and Freezie heading out on the town. Is this just a  (super)mans night out- or is something much more sinister in the works for not so little city? I think we can all only wait and see. This blogger advises his readers to stay home tonight, and keep an eye on the news and little old me for your updates.

Richie didn’t even have a chance to put his phone back into his pocket before Beverly was stomping into the room and tossing a black hoodie over his head. He pulled it away and caught sight of Beverly with her red hair tied up in a long red, curly ponytail. She wore black jeans and black tank top that showed off a black triangle tattoo on her left arm. She raised her brow and nodded at him. “Hurry up, get into something dark and let’s go.”

“I didn’t know you had a tattoo.” Richie said slowly. 

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Beverly said. “Now hurry up and let's go. We have stuff we have to do.”

“I told Eddie I was gonna stay in the apartment.” Richie said, fidgeting with the fabric of the hoodie in his hands. “I think we-”

“I thought Eddie wasn’t the boss of you.” Beverly said, cocking her brow. Richie’s face burned as he tugged the plain back sweater over his head and put his feet back into messy converse sneakers. Beverly was already halfway down the hallway before Richie was even out of the apartment’s door. When they exited the stairway into the lobby, there was a man waiting there in matching all black outfit with the same triangle tattoo on his left arm. He had thick muscled arms, but chubby cheeks and wide eyes that seemed to still hold onto some sort of childhood innocence. 

Beverly pressed a quick kiss to his lips and Richie blinked. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. The words died on Richie’s tongue as a weird feeling overcame him in that moment. “Richie, this is Ben. Ben, Richie.”

Ben held his hand out and Ben’s shake was warm and firm. Somehow Richie felt like his skin was crawling as Beverly pressed her hands between Richie’s shoulder blades and began to push him out towards the front of the building. 

“I uh” Richie cleared his throat, heart hammering in his chest. “Where are we going? Eddie’s probably right that we should stay inside, we don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Don’t be such a chicken shit.” Beverly grinned at him, and Richie shivered as a chill rushed through his spine. “Aren’t you at all curious about what might be going on? Come on, it’ll be fine. It’s not like we’re actually a target for anything. Denbrough was probably just trying to use you for your site.”

Immediately, Richie had been curious- almost morbidly so. Until this very moment when all he wanted to do was run back to his apartment and spend the rest of the night hiding under his blankets. But Richie Tozier had never been very good at trusting himself or any of his instincts, and he allowed Beverly and Ben to guide him into the black car parked out front. 

Then didn’t drive far, and pulled up to some sort of abandoned warehouse. Every couple of seconds there was a flash of light from inside the cracked and shattered glass windows. Richie’s breath started catching in his throat with every attempt to breathe. “What- where are we?”

Beverly turned to where Richie was trying to fade into the back seat of the car, and looked almost sad. “I’m sorry, Rich. It wasn’t supposed to go this way.” 

xxx

Eddie actually hated wearing spandex, but it was an incredibly durable fabric. With the amount of moving he did, it was the most logical choice in costume. But Eddie was never truly comfortable when in costume.

“If I ask you something, could you answer without getting bitchy?” Stan suddenly whispered in his ear. He, Mike and Eddie had only reached the main core of the Lower West Side. Eddie turned to him and narrowed his eyes as best as he could home to do with a mask covering half his face. “Do you ever think of giving it up? Hanging up your suit and just being a normal person. Letting yourself really love Richie?” 

Eddie’s face burned nearly the colour of the suit. He spent the better part of the last two years trying not to think about how he was in love with Richie Tozier and in the last three years, it was the only thing at the front of his mind. “I try not to think about it, honestly, because it’s not an option. I didn’t choose to have these powers, or this life. But as long as I have them, I have to do the right thing. I don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t know.” Stan said slowly. “I think you should be able to do what’s best for you. You deserve to be happy.”

“I’m happy enough.” Eddie lied. “Do you think we should split up and cover more ground?”

“Yeah.” Mike jumped in as the conversation changed back into the professional task at hand. “Especially since we don’t really know what the situation is, so keep your ear pieces in and buzz into the others if you come across anything.” 

“Alright,” Stan agreed, though he shot Eddie a this isn’t over look from the corner of his eye. “Eddie and I have a much easier way to travel, so Mike you can stay in this area.” Stan and Eddie agreed on their own sections of the general NYU area- the area that had always been protected by Professor Fly in the height of his career- and Eddie took off running. Eddie had always loved running, and it was the only part of being a hero that he still enjoyed. Sometimes, on nights when Eddie just couldn’t be bothered to care, he’d just run for miles. Just see how far he could go. He’d reached the Canadian border once before he decided it was a waste of his gift. 

Eddie slowed down into a simple walk once he reached his section of town, when somebody reached out and grabbed hold of Eddie’s arm. Eddie gasped at the feeling of utter desperation that sort through him belonging to the person who touched him. A pair of icy blue eyes under a scarred eyebrow met Eddie’s and Eddie’s heart leapt right into his mouth.

“What are you doing here?” Bill Denbrough demanded. “You’re not supposed to be here! Didn’t Richie tell you about my warning?”

“Your- your warning?” Eddie squawked. “So, you tracking him down and telling him some bogus tip about Professor Fly was supposed to be a warning? A warning of what- that you’re insane?” 

Denbrough shook his head, brown hair falling into his head. “No. No.” He said desperately, nails digging into Eddie’s skin. “Professor Fly would never return, FlyBoy would know that. Didn’t you tell FlyBoy? It’s a trap, you were all supposed to stay home! You’re all in danger!” 

Eddie tried to pull his arm free but Denbrough’s grip was too tight. “You’re hurting me!” Eddie cried, chest starting to feel the too familiar pressure of an asthma attack- though he hadn’t one a single one since his powers had come in. 

“I k-k-know you have more powers than just sp-speed.” Denbrough said, stepping even further into Eddie’s space and grabbing hold of his other arm. “You can s-s-sense me, r-right? You’ll no-no-know if I’m d-dan-dangerous!” 

Eddie felt a lot of things about Bill Denbrough. Guilt, fear, desperation. There was something bleak and sad under the surface but there was no hint of a threat to him. “What do you want?” Eddie asked in a shaking voice.

Bill Denbrough’s eyes darted around Eddie. “Where’s R-R-Richie? Is he w-w-ith you? Where is h-he?”

“He’s safe.” Eddie promised even as his own heart stuttered and panicked. “He’s back at his apartment with his roommate, they’re both-”

Bill’s eyes widened in horror. “NO! No, you can’t t-t-t-t-fuck- trust Beverly! She’s n-n-not who you think she is!” 

Eddie started shaking his head. “No offence, but I’ve known Beverly for a year and I’ve only known you five minutes and you seem pretty unhinged. Why should I believe you when you say I can’t trust her, if I have no reason to trust you?”

“Have you ever tou-tou-touched her?” Bill demanded. “In the yuh-year you’ve known her, ha-have your body ev-ever even graze-grazed hers?” Eddie opened his mouth but froze. “No. It ha-hasn’t. I know it ha-hasn’t, be-because she knows if you ha-had ever tou-touched her, you’d kn-know the truth about her. And everything would have been ru-ruined.”

Eddie shook his head. “What’s she going to do to him?”

Bill frowned. “This wuh-wuh-wasn’t the plu-plan. I don’t- there’s only one place s-sh-she’d take him. But you have to tr-tr-trust me.”

It wasn’t in Eddie’s nature to be particularly trusting, and Bill wasn’t exactly somebody who was inspiring much benefit of the doubt. But his hands were still digging into Eddie’s arms and the only thing Eddie could sense was fear and deeper down- guilt that Eddie suspected he felt at all times. “Okay.” Eddie said, and as Bill let go of him, Eddie flicked on this ear piece’s speaker. 

Bill didn’t lead Eddie too far away, the pair of them travelling in silence and Eddie secretly wishing that Bill would simply tell him where the location was so Eddie could run there. If something happened to Richie while Eddie was wasting his time walking, he’d never forgive himself. Eventually, Bill led him over to the warehouse with lights that flashed through broken windows. He could make out figures walking around inside as he and Bill attempted to sneak into the warehouse without being noticed. 

There was a large glass sphere in the middle of the room, surrounded by what looked like burn white lightning that occasionally sparked brighter and caused the room to brighten as though large fluorescent lights flicked on overhead. Richie was seated a few feet away on the floor, bound against a large cement pillar that connected all the way up to the ceiling. He appeared unharmed, if not mildly annoyed. Eddie’s heart raced all the same Beverly and a man Eddie didn’t recognize both paced around the same space.

“Billy…” Beverly came to a full stand still. Bill froze at Eddie’s side. “There’s no need to sneak around. Come out, we have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

Bill pressed a single finger against his lips, before turning and stepping out of the shadows. “You’re m-may-making a big m-m-mistake, Beverly. He’s n-n-n-not who he says he is.”

“I think you’re the one who’s not who he says he is.” Beverly said, turning around and facing Bill with her arms crossed. “Going behind our backs and telling Richie some crap about Professor Fly? Bringing your existence to his attention? You forced our hand, Billy. Mr Scratch isn’t going to be pleased.”

“He-He’s not guh-good, Bev!” Bill cried, hands clutched at his side. “What do you th-th-think he’s going to do with it wuh-wuh-when he gets it? He-He’s puh-playing you both!”

“He is not!” Beverly cried. “He’s going to do exactly what told us! Why did you have to go and fuck up the plan?”

“Excuse me!” Richie cried, voice dripping with sarcasm. “But if I’m going to be killed, can you guys at least do me the decency of letting me know what you’re talking about in my final moments.”

“You’re not going to die.” Beverly’s male friend said softly. “Nobody is going to get hurt.”

“You’re a fuh-fool if you buh-believe that, Ben!” Bill said, taking steps closer into the room. “Richie, this mach-machine has the ab-ability tr-train a super-superhero of their p-p-powers. Mr Scr-scratch hates heroes and he-”

“Like you’re any better!” Beverly shouted over Bill’s explanation. “You’ve been with him longer than either of us! Heroes killed your brother, you hate them just as much as the rest of us. Maybe ever more! They ruined all our lives!” Beverly turned towards Richie and took a few steps towards him. “I lost my parents when I was little. My father was an awful man, he chased my mother away when I was only six. He died when I was 11, and my aunt took me in. For two years, I experienced happiness for the first time. I loved my aunt and she loved me, took care of me for the first time since I could remember anything. She was a good person, and superheroes came and ripped my only true family apart. My aunt took into selling drugs after she adopted me, just to get ends to meet. She wasn’t proud of it, but she did what she had to do for me. She was smart, she never would have been caught if the superheroes minded their own business and let police handle things. A bunch of hyped up vigilanties took my aunt away from me, and I went into foster care. I was only 13. When I was 17, Mr Scratch found me. Told me there were others like me, who wanted to even the playing field.”

“By killing all the superheroes?” Richie asked, voice breaking. “Beverly, you have to admit that sounds fucking insane!” 

“It isn’t going to kill them.” Ben added. “The Deadlight doesn’t kill them, it only drains them of their supernatural abilities. Makes them human, normal. Just like everybody else.” 

Richie scoffed, in higher octaves than regular voices. “And then what happens to their powers? They just what? Evaporate?” 

“They’ll be trapped in the Deadlight.” Ben answered. “Forever. No more superheroes.”

“You’re an i-idiot.” Bill said coldly. “Sc-Scratch is obviously going to tuh-take the powers! Guh-get rid of the sue-supers and make himself invisible. Undefeatable.”

“You’re full of shit.” Beverly snapped. “He wouldn’t do that! We’re not evil, or some fucking supervillain cult! All we want in equality! We’d never use any of these powers against anybody!”

 “You two wouldn’t.” Bill said darkly. “I’ve wuh-wuh-wondered if he was really who he suh-said he was for- a luh-long time. But I suh-saw plans in his uh-office. About how to ruh-ruh-reverse the Deadlights. He’s guh-gonna take the puh-powers for him-himself.” 

“You’re a fucking liar!” Beverly screamed. “He wouldn’t do that! He-” 

A suddenly crashing brought Beverly’s screams to a halt. The doors busted open and Stan dropped in, with Mike leaping off his back. Beverly took a step backwards, eyes open wide and Ben moved over to stand almost directly in front of Richie. 

“Where’s Eddie?” Mike demanded, glancing around the room. Eddie cringed and slapped a hand over his forehead, as Beverly and Ben exchanged a shocked expression. Richie looked around wildly, with huge, terrified eyes.

Beverly crossed her arms and looked back to the same shadows that Bill had appeared from. “Okay, Eds. You can come out.”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said sharply as he stepped out as well.

“Eddie…” Richie said a quiet, almost broken voice. Eddie tried to give him a reassuring look, but he knew that Richie would be able to see his own fear underneath the attempt. 

Beverly sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alright, this isn’t exactly how I planned on tonight going, though I have to say I did expect to see you all here after I took Richie.”

“Let him go.” Eddie said furiously. “He doesn’t have powers, he isn’t part of this. Let him go.”

Beverly smiled sadly. “No can do, sorry. Richie is actually a key factor to this whole mission. Why do you think I’ve been so encouraging of his little blog? He’s a natural talent, and he’s been so helpful in our acquiring the true identities of these so-called heroes.”

Eddie glanced at Richie, who looked like he might be physically ill. All Eddie wanted to do was rush over and wrap Richie in his arms and keep him safe, but he couldn’t show that weakness in this moment.

“We found Richie through you, though, Eddie.” Beverly said, looking almost… amused. “We didn’t know who you were, but Richie was at most of your scenes and we figured that he knew you. It was Big Bill’s idea that one of befriend him, and figure out what he knows. Does it sting a little, knowing you gave your future with Richie to protect him but you lead us to him anyway?” 

It more than stung, it burned. Eddie’s entire body felt like it was vibrating as he stood there, staring down at women he’d thought of as a friend for more than a year. A woman who’d been living under the same roof as Richie, but wanting only to use him and potentially cause him harm. 

“Oh, Eddie, don’t look like that.” Beverly said, sounding almost genuinely upset. “I already said we aren't gonna hurt him. Nobody is going to get hurt, Bill is just- I don’t even know what he’s trying to do.”

“I’m trying to wa-warn you!” Bill cried. “You’re buh-bluh-blinded stupid but your own luh-loyalty that you cant’ see the uh-aub-obvious truth in fr-fruh-front of you!!”

“This was your cause!” Ben came quickly to Beverly’s defence. “You hate superheroes maybe more than anybody! How can you say this wasn’t what you wanted?”

Bill’s jaw clenched and his bottom lip trembled. “I… I wanted the h-her-heroes gone. But I duh-didn’t want anybody to guh-get their powers and uh-use them for them-themselves.”

“You’re the only person who's acting like that’s going to happen.” Ben snapped. Eddie thought this was his moment, the first time he’d been able to see a true path of entrance. Everybody’s eyes were torn between Bill and Ben, this could be Eddie’s chance to get over to Richie and free him. Eddie, maybe for the first time in his life, misjudged his position. 

Beverly’s hands collided hard with Eddie’s chest, the strength of her anger and resentment hitting him hard and shocking him to his core. He understood now more than ever why Beverly hadn’t made the mistake of touching Eddie in the year they’ve known one another. He may not have felt any true evil inside her, like he had felt in many a foe before, and there was still a lingering of a sad, scared little girl at her core but none of the vibes she was giving to him at this moment was reassuring. He would have kept her far away from Richie, he would have figured out enough about her, and this plan would never have worked.

Beverly taking Eddie by utter surprise had given her even more of an advantage. He knocked Eddie backwards and he stumbled backwards, crashing directly into the Deadlight. An electric charge drove through every nerve in his body and he was thrown across the empty warehouse by a bolt of white lightning. He heard Richie scream his name, but it was like a buzzing deep in the back of his mind. 

The harsh impact to the hard ground jarred Eddie back into himself, though a small bit dazed. He’d landed not far from where Richie was tied up. He shuffled backwards, groaning as the oddest sensation of discomfort shot through his body, but he didn’t stop until he could rest his head against Richie’s knee. 

“Holy shit, Eds!” Richie gasped, fighting against his bindings even as it shook Eddie’s resting head. “How the fuck are you alive right now? You just got yeeted across the room by lightning!” 

Eddie grumbled as he reached blindly behind their bodies to untie Richie’s bondings. It must have been a testament to how shocking the last few moments had been as nobody attempted to stop them. Richie winced and rubbed at his hands for a moment before reaching out and cupping Eddie’s face. Eddie smiled as his eyes flushed shut and he leaned into the touch. 

“Are you okay?” Richie said in a low voice. It wasn’t quite a whisper, Richie never actually whispered, but it was soft and worried and so full of love that Eddie felt he might cry. 

“Yeah.” Eddie said back. “I’m okay. Promise promise.” 

Richie’s face broke into a relieved grin and pressed a hard kiss to Eddie’s voice. Maybe it had been the actual bolt of lightning that had just gone through Eddie’s body, but it felt so charged that Eddie even let out a small gasp. Then it all hit him and his eyes blew open wide. “Richie, I can’t feel you.”

“What? You can’t feel anything?” Richie asked in a panic. 

“No!” Eddie cried, shifting to sit up properly and grabbing Richie’s hands to tangle them together. “I can’t feel your spirit, your mood. It’s like… before.”

Richie and Eddie turned in unison to look at the Deadlight. The others all turned to follow their lead. It seemed to be glowing brighter, the lightning revolving around it faster. Eddie’s powers now fueling it. 

“Holy shit.” Mike said at the same time Beverly gasped. “It works.”

“Of course it works,” a deep voice came as a man in a long black cloak appeared out of nowhere. “You doubted me, Beverly? Thank you, you’ve all played your roles perfectly.” Bill startled as the man- Mr Scratch- turned to him and grinned. “Oh yes, even you Dear Bill. I always knew that your moral compass would bring you to betray me. I accounted for the variable since the beginning of our time together.”

As Mr Scratch moved around the circle, Beverly stepped out of his way as though she didn’t even notice she was doing it. She collided with Bill’s torso, and the man reached out to grab at her hand. She didn’t pull away from the touch, pale and shaking as she watched Mr Scratch rounded on the group.

“Stanley.” Mr Scratch said in a slow voice, grin spreading across his face. Stan was standing still as a statue, fists tightened even as tears filled his eyes. “You know who I am already, I can see it all over your face. Well, I never doubted your intelligence. Go ahead and tell them, there’s no need to keep it a secret amongst old friends.”

“Robert Gray.” Stan said through a clenched jaw. A single tear slipped from his ear and trailed down his cheek. “Professor Fly.”

Richie gasped and squeezed Eddie’s hand tightener. Ben stumbled away and crashed into the cement pillar that Richie had just been tied up against. Mike looked at Stan in shock as Beverly slapped a hand over her mouth. Bill pushed past her, rage evident as his face. “YOU MOTHERFUCKER-”

Gray  barely even flicked his wrist and Bill soared off his feet and slammed up against a pillar, easily twenty feet off the ground. “Stupid boy.” Gray said fondly. “You will never be a match for me, and you’ll never outsmart me. I have been planning this moment for nearly a decade. Your brother’s death started a fire that will destroy the entire world of supers as we know it.” 

Bill struggled against the invisible hold Gray had against him, Richie turning his head away from the scene and pressing his face against Eddie’s neck. Eddie could feel how Richie’s hands were shaking where they were connected.

“None of you are giving me enough credit.” Gray said in a bored tone. “Do you have any idea how much work I had to put into this entire thing? I didn’t just have to create the Deadlights, I had to hand pick every single person who would help me. Bill was a no brainer, even as I knew I could never trust him fully. Beverly and Ben had to be vulnerable enough that they would never question me, and that Bill would never feel confident in telling them what he’d figured out.”

“You left the pl-pl-pla-”

“Yes.” Gray interrupted. “I left the plans out on purpose. Haven’t you figured that I don’t leave anything to chance, William? I accounted for every possible outcome. I had to choose Stan very carefully, choose an heir that would follow my orders but never question me when I told him I could not be contacted after I retire. That I would simply never return.” 

Stan turned away bitterly, trying to wipe at the tears on his as inconspicuously as he possibly could. 

“Even after that, I had to pull so many strings. Made sure that Richie and Stan would cross paths, had to let Beverly believe that Richie’s silly little blog was her idea to let them both feel important.” He shot Eddie a slimey grin. “Had to make sure that Richie got caught in that hostage situation just after they moved to NYC so Eddie wouldn’t consider their relationship worth Richie’s life and end things, so there would be space for Beverly to make her move on Richie. I will admit I was hoping that Richie would fall in love with her, but I underestimated his love for Eddie. A small loss, but nothing damaging to the overall scheme.”

Eddie’s body thrummed with rage. Richie had nightmares for a year after that fucking bank heist, and this man had done that to them on purprose for the simply purpose of breaking them up? Richie still had panic attacks and made Eddie or Bev go with him if he needed to do any sort of banking he couldn’t do online. 

“You said nobody was going to be hurt.” Beverly said, tears streaming down her face. “You said- you said you wanted to even the playing field! You’re a monster!”

“Nobody will be hurt.” Gray said. “You will all be free to go, once all the supers have touched the Deadlight and given up their powers. You’ll all be able to go on with your lives, and I will be able to go on with mine. Once your powers are gone, you’ll have no reason to oppose me and I will have no reason to bother you again.”

Beverly and Ben stood directly in front of the Deadlight, the pain on their faces from the flashing bursts of lightning behind them. Stan was staring directly at Gray, face a mask of rage even as tears fell from his eyes. Richie hadn’t moved from where he’d hidden himself against Eddie.

“You killed my brother on purpose.” Bill said from above them. He was still fighting against Gray’s grip. 

For the first time, Gray’s composure slipped. “No.” He said shortly. “That was a tragic accident. That moment changed me forever. It was when I realized that all of those with powers, even myself, were capable of death and destruction. That we were all inherently evil. The day, I knew that I could not allow another person to hold such powers over another being again. You know, Billy- your brother is the reason for all of this. He gave his life for the new world order-”

Bill let out an intelligible scream but Gray could so much as speak, Mike Hanlon had launched himself from the crowd and latched himself onto Gray’s back. Eddie watched with mouth gape as Gray struggled against the hold before clear blue ice began to spread across his body in a matter of seconds. As the ice completely covered Gray, Bill began to free fall. Stan didn’t waste a single moment before launching up into the sky and catching Bill mid-fall and lowering them both to the ground. He let go of Bill as they touched down and rushed over to Eddie and Richie, one hand finding its way into Richie’s hair and the other falling on top of their joined hands.

“That’s the trick to villains.” Mike said, not even sounding out of breath. “You gotta get ‘em while they’re monologuing.” 

Beverly, face hard, stepped forward and kicked at Gray’s frozen chest. He tittered and fell backwards, shattering into pieces as he hit the ground. “I think it’s safe to say he didn’t account for those variables.” 

They were quiet for a long moment, Stan helping Richie and Eddie to their feet and holding onto them as they all moved towards the shattered ice pieces in the middle of the room. Even in the chilly night, they could see the beginning signs of melting.

“We nn-n-need to d-d-estory this fucking thing.” Bill said suddenly, all of them turning towards the Deadlight. Hums of agreement moved through the room. 

“Wait.” Richie said, tightening his hold on Eddie’s waist. “You said that the powers could be taken out right? We need to get Eddie’s powers back!”

“Oh, yeah!” Bill said quickly. “I- I’ll s-s-see if I can find the instructions ag-again.”

Do you ever think of giving it up? Hanging up your suit and just being a normal person. Letting yourself really love Richie?

“Wait.” Eddie said, throwing out a hand. “Don’t. I don’t want them back.”

Every eye in the room turned to him, Stan smiling even as tears still hung in his eyes. “I never wanted them,” Eddie carried on. “I didn’t want to be some hero, saving people. I wanted to run track and fix cars and be with my love of my life.”

Richie turned slowly, eyes wide and painfully hopeful. “Eddie, don’t do this for shit for me. Please, okay, I-”

“I’m not doing it for you.” Eddie turned and slid his arms around Richie’s shoulders. “I’m doing it for me. I don’t need these bullshit powers. I can run perfectly fine with my own two normal feet, and I would love to be able to touch a person without knowing their moral count or pick up something in somebodys house without knowing if its fucking haunted or not.”

Richie chuckled wetly.

“And I love you so much.” Eddie continued. “And all I want is to be with you, it’s all I’ve ever wanted since the fucking sixth grade. I’m tired of loving each other and being forced apart and just hurting each other over and over. Especially over these stupid powers I was cursed with. I don’t want them back. I wanna be with you and I wanna be happy.”

Richie ducked down and pressed his lips against Eddie’s. This time Eddie knew the sparks that seemed to shoot through him was no lightning shot- just love. 

Spotted! FlyBoy, Captain Fly and Freezie teaming up with three civilians and your truly to foil a truly evil plan, saving not just our city but possibly our entire world. (Eyewitnesses may claim that Freezie did all the work, but that remains to be proven.) And in case you missed it, there was an epic conclusion to an equally epic love story. You know what they say, all’s well that ends great… or however the saying goes!

[unpleasant-aroma]

Ivy shakes her head seeing Oscar walk into the bakery. “How was lunch with mr moneybags?” She taunts. The girl tossed a towel to her friend as she finished wiping down the counter, leaning on it after. She knew the guy Oscar was seeing was wealthy but that was all she knew.

“Oh, ya know... I guess it was a’ight. Bettah since I wasn’t tha one footin’ tha bill,” Oscar replied, giving a slight shrug as he tied his apron back around his waist. Sometimes going out with Basil was more tiring than anything. But, he did end up with some money in his pocket when it was all said and done, so that was a positive. “Sometime I don’ think he undahstands that I gotta work. He tries ta spend as much time as he can with me, but he wants me ta stay longah than I can.”

[ohblackdiamond]

black and gold (kiss/endgame crossover, part 13 of ?)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16 | part 17 | part 18

Prequel to “the end of the world tour.” Four ex-bandmates and even-more-ex-superheroes reunite in the aftermath of Thanos’ snap, and attempt to adjust.

In this chapter: Paul and Gene have dinner courtesy their new RV friends

They talked long enough for the biscuits to cook and the baked beans to warm up. Maury had warmed up considerably, to the point he’d fried some bacon, which neither of them ate. It all got served on cheap stoneware Gene could’ve sworn his mother had back in the sixties. It was the first hot meal he’d had in days.

Paul hadn’t said much, which wasn’t unusual. Maury talked plenty. He and Charlotte were cousins, apparently-- Charlotte went through the genealogy, but Gene could only catch about half of it-- and they’d been living in Nevada together since Maury’s wife left him. Gene got the feeling it was half to appease Charlotte’s grandkids, having someone keeping an eye on her, and half to help pay rent. There was an old Army shadowbox by one of the couches, and Gene hadn’t gotten a good enough look to make a guess on whether it was Maury’s or Charlotte’s husband’s.

“You gonna stay in Connecticut once you get there?”

Gene felt Paul’s glance on him, and he shook his head.

“No. It would be better for taxes, but…”

“Shit, you care about taxes right now?” Maury looked bewildered. “The government’s sending everyone bereavement checks. Taxes ain’t gonna even be due next year until August.”

“Bereavement checks? They can’t do that when everyone’s lost someone--”

“That’s why they’re doing it,” Maury said flatly. “Insurance companies are flooded. The way this happened, people just… people just disappearing, they say they can’t prove someone died unless it’s on video, so they won’t pay out. Ain’t you listened to the radio at all?”

“We did some, for traffic reports, but we got sick of hearing it.”

“You ought to hear it,” Charlotte said. “It’s ten thousand dollars a person.”

“Twenty thousand for kids.” Maury dipped his biscuit in the beans. “I don’t know how they’re gonna manage that one.”

“Inflation’s going to go sky-high. It’ll be twice as bad as it was in the seventies.”

It was the first thing Paul had said in awhile. Gene looked over at him, but he didn’t add anything to his comment.

“I guess they gotta do something.” Maury finished off his biscuit and reached for another one. “Figure most everyone’s gonna blow that ten grand in a year tops. If somebody’s smart, they’ll put it in the stock market instead.”

Stocks. Gene hadn’t thought of his stocks and investments in days. KISS, of course, and licensing, but there were dozens of other endeavors under his belt. More pies than he had fingers to stick in them.. His Moneybags soda, his various properties and real estate. He hadn’t answered a single message on his phone, but maybe he should have. Some of them had to be from--

“I’ll try and put maybe half of it in stocks once I get it. Delta, maybe.” Maury looked at Gene curiously. “You think that’s a good idea? I figure the roads are gonna take years to really clear out. All those abandoned cars everywhere. Air travel, that’s what’s gonna be pushed now.”

“I don’t know.”

Maury’s eyes went from Gene’s face to the RV window, as if he could see more than an outline of Gene’s car in the darkness.  You should know , that was what his face seemed to be saying. Everyone, the fans, all that crowd, always seemed to think there was something magical to success and wealth, some insider knowledge they just weren’t privy to, some mystic connection they weren’t plugged into. It wasn’t like that. It just wasn’t like that, but fuck, he’d profited off of the idea that it was, hammered off sorts of canned suggestions. Now, faced with a guy feeding him from his own bag of chips and can of baked beans in some worn-down RV, a guy who couldn’t tell him apart from Dee Snider… now, he didn’t feel equipped to offer any advice at all.

“Get you another biscuit,” Charlotte said, pushing the still-warm pan towards Gene. He took another biscuit, then pushed the pan towards Paul on automatic. 

--

The biscuits and beans were finished off fairly quickly between the four of them. Afterwards, Charlotte had offered Paul and Gene the RV’s shower, which was as clear a sign as Gene could’ve gotten that the both of them looked like shit. Gene had half-expected Paul to refuse out of squeamishness, preferring whatever showers the website had advertised, but he didn’t.

“Got a pack of razors, too,” Maury added. “Ain’t opened them yet.”

“No, it’s really okay,” Gene said. “We’re Jewish.”

“You don’t shave?” Unconsciously, Maury touched his own chin.

“Not right now.” Almost everything he should have been doing to mourn had already gone out the window just by virtue of circumstance. He hadn’t stayed in his house. He hadn’t even torn his clothes. He hadn’t stopped Paul from playing music when they were in the car; in fact, he’d played it himself. He felt Paul’s glance on him, and realized by Paul’s next words that he was thinking the same thing.

“Can I wash my hair?”

“Paul, you can do whatever you need to do. I’m not stopping you.”

“But is it--”

Looking for guidance out of him. In front of other people, no less. It didn’t give Gene any real sense of relief to be needed that way.

“You can shower if you’re dirty or sweaty. You just can’t enjoy it.”

Maury’s mouth twitched up, but he didn’t say anything. Paul nodded, stood up from the table, and headed towards the opposite end of the RV. Once Paul had shut the bathroom door, Maury turned to Gene again.

“You grew up with that guy, didn’t you?”

“No. I’ve just known him a long time.”

“He don’t say much.”

“No.” Then, half to avoid being accused of not saying much, either, Gene added, “He doesn’t really know how to deal with people.”

“He’s too damn old not to know how to deal with people.” Maury made a waving motion with his hand. “But I am, too. Sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine. You’ve probably had a lot of people asking for food.”

“You dunno the half of it.” Maury snorted. “Fed ten people already. Every time we pull over for gas, people think we’ve got something. Banging on the door. Some idiot tried to get in through the window last night. S’why I keep my pistol on me. Keep trying to get Charlotte to carry--”

“I ain’t carrying nothing.”

“You need to, you can’t fend off any crazies--”

“You hush your mouth, Maury--”

Gene, sensing an old argument, opted to interrupt, clearing his throat.

“The guy that tried to get in through the window, what was he wanting?”

“Food. Supplies. Shit, I don’t know. People’re just going all to pieces. You got people trying to get all they can out of this, milk the whole damn world dry, and then you got people trying to--”

“Now Maury, we don’t need to--”

“He said he wasn’t listening to the radio.” Maury’s lips pursed. “You got people trying to die, Gene.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. I’m talking guys running straight into police stations claiming they got a bomb on them. People stealing drugs outta hospitals. There was about a hundred fifty people jumped right off the Golden Gate bridge. And that’s just what I heard about. There’s no telling.”

“Maury, let’s not talk about that,” Charlotte murmured, putting up the last of the dishes.

“I wanna talk about it.” Maury shook his head slowly. “It’s not gonna stop. People aren’t… you can’t… do for them. Every time I open that door I’m scared it’s somebody trying to take what little I’ve got.”

“Listen, Maury, I can pay you for the food, right now,” Gene said. But Maury just shook his head again, utterly bewildered expression on his face. He almost-- he almost looked hurt, and Gene wasn’t quite sure why.

“You think we fed you ’cause we wanted some money out of you?”

“I--”

“Jesus. You really can’t do for people, can you?” Maury shoved at his graying bangs. Gene could hear the sound of Paul shutting off the water. “You really can’t.”

Paul came out of the bathroom a minute or two later, dressed, his hair still wet. Gene gave him his seat and headed to the bathroom himself. The room was cramped, pink mold edging the corners of the shower and drain. Paul had remembered to drape a towel over the mirror.

He spent as little time in there as he could, just soaped up and rinsed off. His hair only got more attention by necessity. Then he toweled off halfheartedly and tugged his clothes back on, the grotesque feeling of being clean and wearing dirty clothes hitting him all at once. He bit his lip and ventured back out. Paul was at the kitchen table still with Maury and Charlotte. Maury was showing him something on his phone.

“There she is, right there on the far right.”

“She’s a pretty little girl.” Paul’s voice sounded mechanical as hell. Gene stepped forward, and Maury tilted the screen so he could see. A little blonde girl in pigtails, at the end of the row for a school picture. It must have been Sydney.

Sydney didn’t look anything like Sophie at all, but Gene found a lump in his throat anyway at seeing the child. He shoved at the bitterness threatening to overtake him, for Maury having what he no longer did, but he just couldn’t manage it. He’d spoiled Sophie so. She’d been no more than four years old and asking him for a Porsche. He’d told her he’d get her a whole fleet, if she wanted it. But she’d grown up so much since then. Gone to college. Started her own clothing line. Done advocacy work. She was twenty-two, just twenty-two--

“Gets it from her mom. They got all the kids at her school staying there for now, all the ones who ain’t got parents. I got ahold of the administration the other day to tell them to wait on me.” Maury paused. “I wanted to talk to her, but they were too tied up. Took me four hours just to get the school.”

Gene nodded dully.

“She’ll… she’ll keep you busy.”

“She’ll keep me going,” Maury corrected. “Something has to. For all of us.”

[sebastianshaw]

(I got stuff done with alt-Marauders who aren’t Haven and the Shaw! Pyro and Claudine, for @sammysdewysensitiveeyes! Sorry, I feel bad I kind of had Pyro get shut down in this one? I meant for the conversation to be less hostile but it ended up as kinda being SO THERE! at him? It just flowed that way, I hope it’s still enjoyable for you!) “Hey I know you’re friends with old Moneybags but don’t get on my ass like he does too!” Pyro had been awoken from a pile of bottles on the deck by Claudine, and he was in no mood for the talking-to she was besieging him with. “Come on, Claud, I thought we were pals!” “We are, and PALS don’t wreck my lab!” “I wasn’t in your lab!” “You were close enough that the flames you were setting off could react with chemicals in it! And then there wouldn’t be a lab! Or a ship for that matter.” “Alright alright I take your point,” Pyro said, hauling himself up, “Won’t do it again.” “I don’t believe that.” Pyro’s eyebrow raised, “You calling me a liar, love?.” “I’m saying most people don’t remember their promises when drunk.” “Well, I won’t get drunk on the ship.” Now Claudine’s brow raised. “Alright I won’t get THAT drunk on the ship,” he amended. “Right,” she said disbelievingly, “Even if you’re drinking with Shinobi so he’s not drinking alone.” “Hey now that’s not fair,” said Pyo. He felt defensive of Shinobi even though she was exactly right, and in fact BECAUSE she was exactly right. “True, sometimes it’s the other way around.” Pyro’s jaw dropped, “What is that supposed to mean?!” Claudine turned, and said over her shoulder, “I’d rather not be cruel to a friend, John. Just don’t get drunk on the boat.” “No, you tell me what that means!” St. John was NOT letting it go, hhe could TELL Claudine seen some weakness in him like she had Shinobi and he wanted to know it so he could tell her how wrong she was---especially if she was right. But she was just walking away instead, dismissing him. “Hey!” he reached out and grabbed her wrist. And Claudine Renko, Miss Sinister, turned and looked at him. And in that moment, knew he fucked up. The next moment, he was flying into the ocean.

After he’d hauled himself out, he’d been ready to torch her lab on purpose just out of sheer SPITE, or at least turn all her clothes to ashes, but after a long shower to wash away the saltwater and a nap to sleep away the hangover, he’d calmed down a  bit. He did come to her lab though. ”Hey, uh...can I come in, Claudine?” ”Sure.” Okay, she didn’t sound angry, but not FRIENDLY either. He stepped in, but not too close. “Hey, uh, listen, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of put my hands on you.” “No, you shouldn’t have, “ she said, not looking up from her computer, though St. John noticed she wasn’t actually typing on it, “It was most unwise.” “I don’t normally uh...I mean look in a fight all bets are off, but I don’t normally grab a lady like that. Just you’re kinda like Maddie to me. She turned her head and smirked, “One of the boys?” Pyro smiled, “Well yeah, you’re fun, you know, but still a lady and it was wrong. Don’t mean to be sexist but my Gran raised me with manners. “Gran didn’t raise you with self-preservation though I guess,” Claudine was between smirk and smile now, “But much appreciated.” She turned her chair around and continued, “It’s really nothing against you, I just REALLY don’t want this place going sky-high.” “Nah nah I get it!” Pyro put up his hands, “I’ll be way more careful and tell Shin we gotta keep the partying on land. Can’t say he’ll listen but hey he’s not the one you gotta worry about right?” “Well, that depends,” Claudine said, “His phasing does disrupt electrical systems, but I’ll have a talk with him.” “I don’t recommend threats, they just make him er...” “Horny, I know. Don’t worry. If the stick doesn’t work, I’ll try to proverbial carrot. Thanks for coming by, Pyro.” “We good?” “We’re very good. And I’m sorry about tossing you into the water. I should have just knocked you back.” “Ah, it’s fine! I was wondering though---” He could tell from her face that she knew what was coming “--what you meant about---” Claudine cut him off with a sigh, “Really, St.John? We JUST made up.” “Yeah really. Come on, let’s get it out in the open.” She sighed again, “It’ll drive you crazy if I don’t, huh?” “Yup.” “Which is not my problem, but you’ll make it my problem.” “Yup.” “You’re a real pest, you know that?” “Yup!” A third sigh, “Alright, fine, here it is.” She put him in mind of exasperated older sister he’d never had. ”Shinobi parties because of his issues, you because of yours. And it’s easy to see what his probably are---I mean you’ve MET Sebastian---and I don’t know much about you, but knowing what I do, not hard to guess. You left quite a legacy.” And just like that, he was set off again, all attempts at making up forgotten. Through the slew of outraged Aussie slang, Claudine shouted, “Hey! You asked! And I’m not insulting you! I’m just saying what happened!” “Well it’s a low blow!” “Well it’s right isn’t it?” “That’s why you shouldn't have said it!” he said, and then realized by saying that he’d just admitted she was indeed right. But rather than being satisfied at this confirmation, Claudine just looked irritated, ”Look, you got a raw deal. I understand why you don’t want it brought up. And why you’ve got to just act like an idiot sometimes. But no one here is looking down at you for dying, so chill.” “Chill?! Chill?!” All the her bunsen burners in the room erupted in flames, ”Do you know what I went through?! Do you?!” Claudine addressed him in a glowering calm, “Yes. I know exactly what you went through. The way the Legacy virus worked it would begin inserting introns--junk DNA sequences--into the transcription codings of the victim's mutant RNA. It literally changed your DNA. Your disease was no longer just an invader, it was a part of you. I can relate to that, Pyro. I’m living with the same thing every day---LOOK at me!” He did. And he thought of how the longer and longer he’d had the virus, he had seen it in the mirror more and more. The lumps, the lesions, at a certain point he hadn’t been looking at himself anymore, he’d been looking at the sickness itself in a flesh suit. He still saw it sometimes. And he realized what it must be like for her to see this ghost-white face and red diamond reflected back at her in every glass, in every eye that looked at her, in every mind she read. The flames went down. ”I...” “And don’t think it’s not the same because I wasn’t going to die. I was, Pyro. What else do you call it when everything that’s YOU stop existing and becomes someone else? what else do you call it when everything that might scientifically be called a soul is no longer existent in your body?” “Alright, I...” “So I do know what you went through. Your body’s betrayal. Knowing your clock is ticking, but not when it will stop. and the simultaneous relief it’s over, but the disbelief it can really be for real, and no idea how to cope with that. So that also means... She inhaled deeply and looked down, ”I do know I shouldn’t have gone there.” There was a long silence between them. And then she put a hand on his shoulder. And he smiled at her. And she smiled back, “Now get the hell out of my lab, dude, before the sprinklers go off!”