#he got distracted and suddenly realized that sunny was not following him anymore

[th3e-m4ng0]

Is Sunny in the 'edgy' au? And if so, does Optimus ever meet them?

yes and yes !! it won't be a pleasant meeting (for oppy). imagine going to ur house, which is in a very deadly environment (WIMDY and RUSTY. the storm is quite bad that day) and suddenly finding out that fucking. MEGATRON'S CHILD followed u.. all the way from town to the sea of rust

[lavenoon]

Falling Into Orbit (~4.1K)

Bloodstain Fool by @naffeclipse, og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic

Menace4Menace first meeting - plays before the first comic. Also reminder/ disclaimer that this is not a Y/N, and pronouns used will be he/she

Next -> Conjunction -> Asterisms

-

“You’re going to draw attention, looking like that.” 

You look up at the animatronic towering in front of you. For some reason, the comment offends you. Could be the fact that so far any passerby walking past has only spared fleeting glances your way, before looking up at your new friend and scurrying off with fear in their eyes. 

In a way, you get it. Twice your height and cutting quite the imposing figure in his suit, Eclipse is no one to sneeze at. 

Your nose still tickles.

“Are you sure anyone is even going to see me standing next to you?” 

Got him. There’s a twitch to his expression as his fingers curl around nothing but air, before he abruptly rips them down to his side. Just as suddenly he turns, walking down the sidewalk. 

You have to take two steps for each one of his. The most annoying part of it all is keeping your grin down.

Eclipse glares down at you just as you round the block. His eyes only narrow further, so perhaps you’re not doing that good of a job, hiding your amusement. 

“You’re still here.” 

… Where else would you be? He started walking, so you followed. Did he expect you to just shrug it off, and let him leave? Or maybe it’s wishful thinking, him hoping you’d turn out to be an apparition only. Too bad you have to disappoint him. 

You blink, and tilt your head. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Again with the furling fingers. It’s not a really reassuring gesture, but mostly you wonder if this time has stress toys. Eclipse sure looks like he could use one. Some, actually - multiple spares, just in case. 

The thought only intensifies when one hand wraps around your head, keeping your head fixed to where he leans down into your vision. While you’d love to say you’re fully focused on that probably faked cheerful smile, 

That hand is big. 

“I have work to do. I won’t babysit you.” 

You pat the hand on your head, and it twitches. 

“Lucky for you, I’m not a baby. You said you’d help me.”

“Because you were freaking out and drawing attention. Speaking of which, you calmed down really fast.” 

The words come out in a snarl, and his grip tightens again. At this rate you’re going to get a headache. That won’t help you clear his suspicions, so you do your best to project nonchalance with your shrug.

“I got distracted. Not every day you meet a sentient animatronic after all.” 

You look around, as much as your limited range lets you, and immediately realize that he won’t be able to sign off on that. There’s three other animatronics out and about, and that’s just from a quick glance around the busy street. 

So you have to amend your statement.

“Well. I suppose that no longer applies.”

The pressure from your head lifts as Eclipse straightens, his optics covered by his fingers curled into claws. He tilts his face up, and just like that you can’t see his expression anymore. Quietly, he mumbles. 

“Why did I agree to this?” 

You’re not sure if you were supposed to hear that, but you decide to reply anyway. First with a hum, earning you another glare, and then you grin. Eclipse drops his hand again, not looking even an ounce happier. You’re not sure it would have made much of a difference - he’s quite a lot of ounces. 

So you end up smiling for two.

“Because I’d go around and tell everyone I met you first. Think the police would enjoy my crazy story?” 

For an animatronic with a fixed smile, he looks awfully close to having bitten into his first lemon ever. But then, for just a second, his expression shifts - too bad you can’t read it at all. His pupils flit to the side, then narrow back down at you, and he looks as hard as ever. Moment over, then.

“You are my punishment.” 

You blink, unimpressed.

“You’re awfully sure you deserve to be punished.” 

Ignoring your comment entirely, he turns to look past you. When he speaks up again, his tone radiates eternal suffering, and you bite your tongue before you comment on that, too. 

“I know where you can stay. There’s someone who owes me a favor.” 

He starts walking again, and you follow with a dreary sigh. 

“Oh no, I landed in a time of ominous favors.” 

Golden eyes with black pinpricks glare back at you for a moment, and then Eclipse accelerates. You have to actually hurry now to keep up. 

“Word of advice, if you want to last here for more than a day, learn to keep your mouth shut.” 

And so you do, if only because your sense of self preservation isn’t quite that eroded. Well, maybe also because jogging after him is enough of a workout, and you prefer not announcing that via embarrassing wheezing. Without lungs he sure has it easy. That, and legs as long as you are tall. You’re barely more than a tripping hazard for him. 

That’s an impulsive thought you better don't indulge. 

Instead you try to focus on everything around you, taking in all the sights without falling behind too much. Just once do you stop to stare at a very fancy couple and their just as fancy car, and get lost a little bit in the excitement they radiate. 

And maybe the old car. Do you know the brand? Could you sneak back to steal a glimpse at the emblem? It’s a rolling death trap, even more so than the cars you’re used to, but if it doesn’t look cool…

Eclipse walks on, and when you look, he just rounds a corner. He nearly left you behind before. You hate running, but needs must. Rushing after him you nearly run into him - seems he waited after all. 

He scowls, grumbling a quick “Hurry up,” and moves on. 

This time you don’t let yourself get distracted. Getting lost in a city out of your time, without money or ID or anything else to your name isn’t your idea of a good time. Your little threat earlier was little more than a bluff - involving the police isn’t an option you actually want to consider. 

When Eclipse takes a sharp turn into a building you stop for just a moment, looking it up and down. Just a little shop, from the looks of it, selling a variety of things. 

The bell rings when you enter, and both Eclipse and the human shopkeep turn to you. The man frowns, and you instinctively smile - it probably does little to help. 

“Hi!” 

He turns to Eclipse again, thick brows furrowed. 

“For her?” 

“Do you have a room or not?” 

Your smile turns into a small grimace at the hostility in Eclipse’s tone, but at least it’s not directed at you. 

It gets worse, because the shopkeep does not seem to have a sense of self preservation. 

“Since when did you fancy…” 

Apparently unsure how to describe all of you, he makes a vague circular gesture your way, and what little you can see of Eclipse’s expression does not look happy. Maybe you can defuse the situation just a bit.

“Oh, we’re just friends!” 

Again, four eyes are on you. Eclipse’s optics are dark with thin, golden halos staring at you in disbelief. The shopkeep glances from you to him before tensing, and promptly making his escape into the back.

“... I’ll go grab a key.” 

You spare him a glance before looking back to Eclipse, who is currently strangling the air where you presume he would wish your neck to be.

“Why would you say we’re friends?” 

It’s hushed, as much as you assume he can lower his voice. The result is more of a squeaky rubber chicken toned stage whisper, and your little smiley grimace twitches. 

“Would you have preferred whatever he was assuming?” 

Somehow you don’t think him “fancying” you is in any way the better alternative. You don’t really look like someone anyone in this day and age would fancy. 

… At least your skirt reaches past your knees.

Eclipse’s fingers curl further, clenching into fists.

“I’d prefer to not be associated with you at all! I don’t have friends!” 

That was not what you expected. You blink, scowling as well now. 

“... Weird flex but okay.” 

His voice shoots up half an octave in strain.

“What?” 

There’s a small sound from the counter, and a stiff shopkeep slides a keyring with a small plated keychain and two keys over the counter. The way he keeps avoiding both your gazes makes you think he caught a bit too much of that conversation. 

“Second floor, third room on the right. You still know the address?” 

The keyring disappears in Eclipse’s hand, and then his coat pocket. 

“Yes.” 

From his voice, you'd think the furious voice crack never happened. You definitely don't trust like that.

And then the storm is coming your way. You scramble out of the shop, the doorbell ringing again, and not a second too early. Eclipse ducks back out right behind you, dark eyes still trained on you. For a second you duck, not exactly in fear, but certainly preparation. For what, you don’t want to think about. 

But then Eclipse straightens, closing silicon lids over his eyes, and when he opens them they shine in gold again. He squints at you, and somehow that smile is much more terrifying than the one before.

“Let’s go.” 

For a few blocks, you follow in silence, but then your curiosity gets the better of you (and your self preservation). Though a bit of it, the part you would like to not acknowledge, also is the looming realization that following a pissed off animatronic you have known for a few hours to an unknown tertiary location is currently your safest bet moving forward. 

Can’t have you thinking about that. 

“Do you really have no friends?” 

You barely hear his reply over the noise of the street and his grumbling tone.

“What did I say about keeping your mouth shut?” 

Well, the energy is certainly unmistakable, so you don’t think you’re wrong with your guesstimated perception. Who even needs to process full sentences? Definitely not you, as proven by your entire life so far.

Even though he can’t see, you shrug.  

“That’s kinda sad, dude. Friends are cool - nifty. The bees’ knees even. The cat’s meow?” 

Your brain sifts through months of fluctuating interests to scrounge up the brief interest in dated vernacular, with limited results. You’re not even entirely sure you’re in the right decade with those.

Eclipse still doesn’t grace you with even a look.

“Stop talking. Somehow, understanding you is worse.” 

You press your lips together tightly, keeping down another snappy comment. Antagonizing him is not in your favor, and you need to remember that. 

He doesn’t make it easy though. 

You’re busy studying the old fashioned traffic lights when you notice the motion in your periphery. Eclipse looks away as soon as you look up, rather paying attention to the lights himself. At least it’s too busy for jaywalking, and even he has to wait. Spares you from having to run after him, but not the conversation he picks up again. 

“I have a reputation to uphold.” 

While you have no doubt that nothing about you is helping him with that, you also don’t know why he’s bringing it up. Are you supposed to apologize? Or - 

The friends. He’s talking about having no friends. A fact which is apparently part of his broody loner reputation. 

Your realization must show on your face, because Eclipse spares you another glance, and his expression flattens immediately. 

“Don’t say it.” 

You grimace, and look back to the lights. As soon as it turns red, you’ll have to hurry before the traffic rounding the corner gets its go. Pedestrians are car fodder still. 

“I mean, you’re thinking it, I’m thinking it, I really don’t have to.” 

Unfortunately, your shrug gets interrupted by Eclipse wrapping his hand across your shoulder, and dragging you across the street. You didn’t even notice the light turning red. The fumes of the last car are still whirling in the air, and you cough through that cloud of exhaust. Either he’s really impatient, or pissed off at your comment that you technically didn’t verbalize - maybe both. 

He lets go as soon as you reach the other side, fortunately all in one piece, and at worst only slightly bruised from the fingers digging into your flesh. You rub the spots where his grip was tightest for just a moment before you have to hurry after him again. 

At least you wait until you’re right behind him to pry a bit more. 

“Seriously though, is your reputation just ‘loner who hates everyone’? People can’t do everything on their own, that’s madness!” 

Eclipse stops abruptly, stepping back and startling you into a jump. His eyes are dark again, the golden rings within blazing. 

“Not everyone. And what I can’t do, I arrange through contracts and favors. Friends are nothing but a pretty lie, none of it means anything.” 

Well, good to know the guy really never had a friend. You’re curious about the emphasis - but right now you want to focus on a different point to make. 

“So you do rely on other people! You know, sometimes coworkers can become friends too.” 

The static crackle coming from above sounds awfully close to a choke, except then… He’s laughing. It’s not bad, honestly even kind of nice, except you have no clue what the joke is - which means it’s most likely you. 

At least his eyes are golden again. 

“No, absolutely not.”

You blink. Okay, maybe his coworkers suck, too. What do you know? But still, you huff - you’re not done yet. 

“You know the saying ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’?” 

The last of his lingering amusement seems to drain from him, a frown taking over. There’s a dark flash in his optics, just for a second, gone before you’d be concerned. Doesn’t mean his expression is in any way happy when he leans down just a bit. No, his grin is bitter, and you still have to crane your neck uncomfortably - you’re pretty sure he just wants to loom. 

You wonder if there’s a craft store nearby. He might strangle you for real, but it would be a hilarious practical joke.

“If you haven’t noticed, I don’t have blood to mingle.” 

Bonafide snarl, once again. You only cock an eyebrow.

“You do know how a metaphor works, right?”

As suddenly as he stopped before, Eclipse now straightens. Somehow, you’re glad you’re not shorter - he looks at you like you’re a particularly nasty bug, and you’re very squishy. Your still aching shoulder speaks for that. 

In your endless wisdom, you decide to stick out your tongue and blow a raspberry. 

“I’m just saying. You can choose a whole lot, and good friends are part of that.” 

“I choose none. Let’s get you settled, before I do something you will regret.” 

The remainder of the trek you stay silent. You’ve poked the bear enough for now - especially considering that this bear is very tall and very sharp, and currently begrudgingly helping you. 

Except the silence means you’re lost in thought, and you nearly run into him again once he stops. You catch yourself just in time, and look up at a nondescript apartment complex. At least, you think it’s an apartment complex. It looks decent enough, not fancy or otherwise flashy but clean. Besides, right now some privacy sounds heavenly. 

“This is the place?” 

Narrow eyes meet yours again, as if daring you to complain. 

“A boarding house. They’ll have meals, and you have your own room. You owe me for this.” 

You pause, then look back at the building, higher and higher up past the rows of windows. The different curtains and various trinkets you spot make it fun, somehow. 

“Currently, I can only pay with the power of friendship, which we established you don’t want. Can we go up and look at the room? My feet are killing me.” 

Wordlessly he unlocks the front door, leading you past a few curious gazes up into the staircase. You barely get to take in the hallway and adjacent communal rooms on the ground floor, but it’s fine, really. You’re a bit out-socialed anyway, and tomorrow is another day to leave bad impressions. Or, well - impressions ahead of the time. 

Second floor, the third door on the right. Nondescript just like the outside, and you don’t see any obvious scratches around the lock or frame when you duck to see past Eclipse’s hand. He scowls at you, then opens the door. 

The room is small, no question. But there’s a bed, a desk with drawers, a quaint little closet and a chair. Together with the promised meals and presumably bathrooms you’ll have to find, you’re all set. 

From the window ring the faint noises of afternoon traffic, and you step closer. Eclipse remains by the door, and a small part of you reminds you that he’s probably eager to leave. You just can’t help it, you have to look first. Staring through the glass, the same street you just walked past seems a lot smaller. Somehow, it makes reality sink in more. 

“You might want to look into getting a gun. You look like an easy target.” 

The words barely reach you through your daze. At first, you just hum - but then you realize just what he said, and grimace instead. Not looking away from the window, mind you, but it’s the thought that counts.

“I don’t like guns.” 

“Let me guess, you prefer knives?”

As much as it sounds like a question, his tone is too dry to actually mean it. You turn with a frown, tilting your head in a silent question. Just as silently, he gestures towards your arm, expression flat. Unnecessarily, you follow the motion, and blink at your tattoo. 

And just like that the dread pooling in your stomach disappears.

Unfortunately for Eclipse’s mockery in the making, you grin. 

“Oh, yeah! I collect them. Only ever carry one, though.” 

“You already carry a knife?” 

Eclipse perks up too, suddenly interested. You don’t think that mild enthusiasm will hold. It’s not really anything appropriate for self defense, not even as a bluff. Still, you dig around your pocket, and flip open the little knife before proudly holding it out towards him. His pupils shrink as he looks.

“Yup! Professor Stabby McStabstab.” 

You’ve never seen an animatronic this disappointed before. Sure, you’ve seen your first one today, but that doesn’t have to mean anything. Maybe disappointed isn’t the right word, either - maybe, he just looks defeated. 

“I need to stop having expectations. You shatter each and every one.” 

The cheeky wink you direct at him doesn’t seem to cheer him up in the slightest. 

“It’s my specialty.” 

Eclipse has tasted many a lemon today thanks to you, it seems. 

“I’m leaving.”

He turns where he stands, expression still sour, and moves to open the door. That gets you moving, too. 

“Wait, one sec!” 

The door stays open at a crack as you dash over to the desk, hoping there’s something to write there. You end up in luck. A rough pencil, hidden in a small ridge and looking slightly chewed on, and some yellowed paper stacked in the corner. 

Quickly, you note down a haphazard I.O.U., together with the date you’ve seen printed on some newspapers now. There’s little else to write - “thanks for making sure I don’t end up homeless after appearing out of thin air and screaming at you” seems a bit wordy - but you feel like he’ll appreciate having a physical favor to cash in. 

Skipping over to the door does mean you nearly trip over the chair, and have to steady both it and yourself for a moment. Your leg and side complain where you’ve hit them against the wood, and you wince slightly. You’ll have to get used to the small space. 

For now, you finish your step and wave the note in Eclipse’s direction. He takes it with a frown. Probably best to explain before he can somehow turn it into an offense. 

“Here, for that favor. I guess I can only offer friendship, and the professor, but if you do ever need either you know where to find me. You can also show this to your boss, maybe, if they decide to make a stink over you being late.” 

Because you did end up occupying a lot of his time today. You don’t know enough about his job, given that you never asked, to know how much trouble he got himself into just to stop you from spiraling. All your pestering aside, you don’t want him to regret that. 

Eclipse stares. His expression keeps shifting, and you end up somewhat concerned before he settles on a mild frown. The note he pockets carefully - you don’t hear the paper crinkle as he slides it into his coat.

“You’re strange.” 

Without a care for what could be considered an insult, you take the two steps to cross the room back over to the bed.

“Would be rather boring otherwise, no?” 

You drop onto the mattress, doing your best not to mind the squeaky springs - gift horses, and all that. With a grin his way you let yourself fall backwards. There’s not a lot of room to spread your arms, and the angle is off, but after a day of stress and running after a cactus on stilts it’s soft as a cloud. You even end up closing your eyes in a sigh. 

There’s an exasperated echo from the door.

“Right, I’ll get to work then.” 

The dismissal is obvious, and you crack open one eye just to wave at him. If the lazy twitch of your arm even counts as such. 

“Great, have fun! I’ll lick my wounds, or something.” 

Actually, maybe your eyelids are still too heavy. Just lying there sounds great for now. Everything else can wait until after a nap, maybe. 

You haven’t heard the door shut yet. 

“Your what?”

Eclipse is granted a spectacular view of your double chin, given that you’re entirely too lazy to actually sit up. He doesn’t seem to care. The pinprick pupils aren’t a good look for him. They startle you into honesty.

“Uh, yeah, I mean I’m pretty sure you bruised my shoulder.” 

That was… sure a way to go about it. A very, very blunt one, unfortunately. 

Whatever goes on in his head, you wonder if the journey his facial expression takes you on depicts it all. His eyes flash darkly twice before he chokes out a response. 

“I have to go now.”

And then he’s gone. The door shakes slightly at the force with which he closes it. 

Because you mentioned the bruises? In bad taste, you’ll admit, after all the help he offered you, but it’s not like you mind them. You’re pretty sure your run in with the chair left you just as bruised, not to mention all the mystery bruises you already have. The shoulder doesn’t even hurt anymore either. 

But it doesn’t feel like he was reacting to the bad manners. You don’t know him, really, so what was going on in that head of his?

Curious, you heave yourself back up, first on your lower arms, and then into a sitting position. Did he… 

You narrow your eyes, and investigate. Tip toeing for no reason other than feeling like the pink panther, you make your way over to the door. From afar, it could have been the light, or a strange texture to the handle - but brushing over it with your fingers makes the dents undeniable. Your shoulder got off easy, then. 

Something tells you that Eclipse wouldn’t take that as reassurance. 

Your hand lingers on the dented metal. 

On impulse, you turn and bound over to the window. It’s stuck, and you have to throw your whole weight into it, but it opens with a pop - and when you stick out your head to look down, golden eyes furrowed in confusion meet yours. 

A fun perspective, seeing him from above.

You grin. Cheerfully, and loudly, you call out to him, waving the “injured” arm for emphasis.

“Hey! Big, scary Eclipse! Thank you!” 

The startled expression morphs into something unpleasant again, but you don’t mind it at all. If he has no friends, you bet he’s not used to gratitude either. Even gratitude tinged with a tease. 

He draws a finger past his thin neck in a choppy motion before he stalks off, pointedly not looking up. That’s just fine by you. 

You’re pretty sure he can hear you laughing. 

[sugarplumwriter]

Confessions {Part 2/finale}

1980s!Johnny Lawrence x Reader

A/N: I didn't want to leave it at that so here's what we'd all hope to happen. I really needed this myself.

Summary: As you finally start getting over Johnny Lawrence, something changes.

Warning: L2

{Masterlist}

{Part 1}

Just moments ago, you were standing in front of Johnny Lawrence and you were telling him what only very little people on earth had courage to tell someone.

Your mind was still racing with thoughts. Mainly thoughts about how much easier your life would be from now on. It felt overwhelmingly great to have removed that uncertainty and burden off your chest.

He took it well, you thought, and you couldn’t help but grin at the surreality of it all.

You still had goosebumps all over your body. How exciting that just was.

Your mind hadn’t processed all of it, yet. It was an adjustment for sure. No what ifs anymore and no more questioning if it was all just in your head or actually real.

For the first time in more than two years, you knew it was something very real. Real to you but also real to him. You knew without a doubt that you were going to be on his mind all day today. And that alone satisfied you. You had the power to make it real between you and now it felt like you did, even if just for a day, just for a minute or just for a moment. It felt like you took care of unfinished business and now you could finally move on.

As you stepped into your house, your parent called, “Y/n, is that you?”

“Yes!” you yelled back.

“C-mere! Your friend wants to talk to you.”

You made your way into the living room, where you found them speaking on the phone. When they noticed you stepped in, they covered the speaker with their hand.

“I hope you had a great school day,” they said and quickly added, with their mouth to the phone, “Here she is,” before passing you the handset. Meanwhile you were wondering why one of your friends was calling you. That’s a bit strange, you thought. “Also, don’t talk for too long, food is already on the table.”

You nodded. As they left the room, you put the handset on your ear.

“Hello?” you uttered.

“Yes, y/n, it’s me.” It was your friend who you were talking to yesterday at the beach. She sounded oddly serious.

“What’s up?”

“Were you talking to Johnny earlier?”

Your heart sank. How did she know you were talking to him?

“Why?” you asked.

You heard a crumbling noise at the other end before she spoke again.

“Well because Erin and some other girls saw you two talking.”

Oh no, the girls you saw earlier did notice after all.

Your friend continued, “And she said it looked pretty serious.”

You needed a moment to collect your thoughts while your friend silently waited.

“So ... what do they think it was about?”

“They don’t know actually. They just thought it was strange that’s all. That’s why Erin called me. She wanted to know if I knew anything.” She paused. “I mean, you know what she’s like. Always on the lookout for drama.”

“Yeah,” you said, “I know.”

She nervously laughed, then added, “I told her that you probably borrowed him a pen and he forgot to give it back or something.”

“Did she believe you?”

“I don’t know. Just tell her the same thing if she asks you.”

“Will do.”

“And I don’t think she will ask Johnny by the way.”

“Probably not.”

“Yeah, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“Mm-hm.”

It was silent after that for a couple of seconds until you heard her clear her throat.

“Y/n, I don’t want to be pushy, but is Johnny the guy you like?”

“Isn’t that quite obvious now?” you said, and although you felt very vulnerable, you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I guess so.” You heard a smile in her voice. “How did it go?” she added, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not at the moment, no. Maybe some other time.”

“Okay.” She paused again. “If you need anything just let me know.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Bye, then.”

“Bye.”

~

The following weeks were both strange and unchanged.

It didn’t feel like anything had changed, which wasn’t untrue for the most part, but you knew that there was this unspoken truth between you and Johnny, like a secret the two of you shared. And anytime you were close to each other, you felt this tension as if both of you were thinking the same.

But he acted normal which meant that neither did he keep a suspicious distance from you, nor was he unnaturally close all the time.

But after many such weeks, your memories slowly started to fade.

One week, you couldn’t stop thinking about him and hoped he’d change his mind, the other, suddenly, you lost awareness of a lot of the feelings you once had and barely even noticed that shift.

Soon you’d be seeing him without any second thought to it. He’d only be a random guy walking the halls and nothing more.

~

It was P.E. class on a sunny day in the last quarter of your senior year when the confession crossed your mind again.

Everyone was out on the field in their respective groups where you were cheering with the other girls and it just then happened, that a football came flying right at you - or at least right at your group.

In a matter of seconds almost all the girls were screeching and running away just to dodge the ball.

"Can't you be more careful?" someone yelled.

You turned around to see Tommy running after the ball. One of the girls picked it up and tossed it back to him with an annoyed look on her face.

"Sorry, girls,” he laughed and shrugged, “Just couldn't help myself."

Many of the girls started throwing complaints at him to which he only mischievously grinned before he turned away and started running back to the football field. You just stood there and watched him for a couple of more seconds, until you noticed Johnny looking at you. You froze.

You hadn’t paid much attention to him at all for the past couple of months, you hadn't even properly looked at him, which made this moment even stranger to you. It was like looking at him for the very first time.

It was you who turned away first. You didn't want to leave a false impression, so you picked up where you left off before you got distracted and pretend as if nothing was bothering you. Which it obviously did.

Later that same week something else happened that was just as small but left you just as baffled.

You were at your locker and took out some books for the first period when you heard "Hello, y/n" distantly behind you.

At first you thought you had imagined or misheard it but as you turned around, you saw Johnny walking by. Perplexed you quickly glanced away and turned your attention back to the locker.

After, you felt bad for not Greeting him back, but should I have? Or would that have been awkward? Was he even talking to me?

Eventually things like that piled up so much in one week, that you couldn’t hold it inside anymore and you had to initiate a conversation with the only person who knew about it.

"Well, that is really strange," she said. She was lying on your bed and looking through a magazine. "But I wouldn't read into it too much," she continued, "or he probably would've made an actual move, you know?"

You hated it but she was right.

"I guess so."

"Look, y/n.", she sighed as she tossed the magazine to the side, "I'm really not trying to be harsh here; I mean, you know Johnny! Johnny, the “Strike first, strike whatever” and all that."

She made excessive gestures which amused you, but the rest hurt.

He didn't play games, he did things head on, was what she said next, which unfortunately made sense to you.

"But who knows," she smiled, "maybe he finally realized how great you are."

~

As the last of your high school days went by, you accepted the fact that you should leave this whole thing behind you.

You packed your bag after the last period and left the classroom. The hallways were almost empty, except for a small group of freshmen - and Johnny.

What a rare sight, you thought. Where’s his karate gang?

He stood just outside the classroom. When you started heading towards the exit, he turned his head and looked at you. His glare was neutral at first but then he smiled.

“How are you?”, he asked loudly, and you stopped.

Even though it surprised you, your answer came immediately.

“Good,” you smiled. “How about you?”

“Yeah, me, too.”, he said lower this time as he walked up to you.

He was still smiling but it was silent for a moment. You didn’t know what to expect next but then he said, “Let me drive you home,” and suddenly you felt your heart flutter.

“Oh, ah … sure.”, you replied.

“Awesome.”, he said and started walking. You caught up to him and asked him what all this was about.

“I owe you one.”, was his simple answer. You really didn’t expect that.

“Why?”, you asked.

“Don’t you remember?”

“Remember what?” You were visibly confused by all of this.

“Don’t act like an airhead, y/n.”

The way he spoke to you startled you. But you could tell he wasn’t trying to be mean. He felt just as charged up as you did.

“Of course, I remember that” you snarled sarcastically, “but what about it?”

The two of you left the building walking closely next to each other.

He sighed and eventually admitted, “I didn’t think I could ever fall for another girl like that.”

Did he really mean it?

“But we don’t know each other too well.”, you sneered, and a wide grin formed on your lips.

He seemed amused and when he looked at you, he laughed. But then he went silent. It looked like he was thinking about something, so you didn’t say anything either. Instead you focused on getting to the car.

When you arrived, he opened the door for you and you sat on the lethered seat. You felt a rush of heat that heated up both your cheeks and the rest of your body. The feelings you were having were unmatched by anything you had ever experienced before. No one ever made you feel the way Johnny did.

“I thought a lot about you and about what you said.”, he eventually confessed. “That was some bold stuff you pulled there; you know that?”

He sat down on the drivers seat while your cheeks heated up even more.

“I guess.”, you replied.

“That was rad, y/n, I respect you a lot for that.”

The car engine started, and he pulled out of the parking space. As you were driving, you continued talking about the day of the confession. He told you about his point of view and you told him about yours.

You noticed that he talked a lot and very expressively but also that he attentively listened. Beside that you noticed many other new things about him, which made you like him even more. He made you smile and laugh more than anyone else ever did.

It only took you one ride to immediately click and after that it became a habit for you to drive together. At first only to school and back but it didn’t take long until you started driving everywhere together, in the car or even on his motorcycle. It all lasted a lifetime.

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

iv.lxviii. (a,m)

"Are you ready?" Jaehyun took your hand and grinned broadly. You take a deep breath and grab your stomach. You had a little girl inside of you. You almost couldn't believe it. A girl. "Yes," you say softly and look at your husband. You go into the house but something happened. All the blinds were down and no light came into the house on this sunny day. You hear the children talking softly and suddenly Mia runs towards you. "What happened?", Jaehyun asked worried and Mia didn't quite know what to do. "I didn't reach you." She sighed and looked around. "Mummy." Sunoh ran to you and hugged you. "A drone was back here over the property." Mia frowned and she didn't know what to think. "A drone?" You ask uncertainly and again caress your stomach and Sunoh's back at the same time. It was such a strange mood and you notice how the mood in the room was depressing. "Yes, it flew so close to the windows, that's why I closed everything." Mia pointed to the locks and you nodded. You go further behind the kitchen island and see how the twins play and Miga takes care of her little brothers. She was very calm and knew that she is now the oldest. "Are you okay?" You ask her and stroke her hair. She nodded and looked at you with wide eyes. "Yeah, I'm trying to distract Kiwoo and Geon." She smiled so sweetly and you were so proud of your girl. "Very good," you say and kiss her head. When you come back up you see Jaehyun talking on the phone. "Who are you calling?" You ask him. "The police. This terror must stop." Jaehyun was so angry again and you didn't know what to do. "Mia, go to Xiaojun. We can do it alone now," you tell her, because you didn't want to drag her along. "What? No!" But your sister was stubborn. "There's no point and I don't want them to start terrorizing you too. Please Mia." You wanted her to be safe. "Okay, but if there is anything ... I'll be right there." Mia looked at you seriously and you nodded. Then she went to her room and packed her things. Jaehyun was still on the phone. He was in the living room so the children couldn't hear him. But you could watch him through the window and you can see that he was angry. The conversation was not very satisfactory. You look at your children who were playing quietly with each other. You were really surprised that they stick together like that at this moment. "Okay, I would go now," Mia said as she came out of her room. "Well, take good care of yourself," you say and gently stroke her shoulder. Mia put on her shoes, but just before she left the house she turned to you. "I know it's all serious right now, but I'm curious. What will it be?" Your sister suddenly smiled and pointed to your belly. You look down at yourself in amazement, you briefly forgot that you have just come from the doctor. "A girl," you say very gently and you have to smile too. "Yay, finally." Mia hugged you happily and you had to admit that you are also very happy. At that moment she saw Jaehyun coming to you and he was surprised that you are both so happy. "Congratulations to the Daddy too. Now you finally have your girl." Mia grinned and now Jaehyun had to smile too. "Yeah, I still can't believe it." Jaehyun put an arm around you and kissed your head. "Okay, I'll go now. But if you need anything, let me know." Mia said goodbye to you and then left. But as soon as she was gone, things got serious again. "What was going on?" You ask your husband and Jaehyun looked disappointed at the floor. "The police say drone flights are allowed in Korea." "But also on private property?" You couldn't believe it somehow. "Because I'm a public figure, they think I should expect it." Jaehyun was really exhausted and done. He just couldn't believe it all. "I can call Donghwi," you suggest. "Donghwi?" Jaehyun didn't really know her way around. "He's the detective who handled the case when Miga was threatened." You were on good terms with him and maybe you hope to get a little more information from him. "Oh, yes okay ..." Jaehyun nodded and you go into the kitchen and look for his business card. You picked it up and dialed his number. Before long, Donghwi answered immediately. "Hello?" "Hi, this is Y/N Jung. I hope you can still remember me." You laugh uncertainly because you didn't know how to address your request. "Yes of course. Is Miga okay?" He apparently remembered it very well. "No, I mean, yes. I just wanted to ask something." "Yes?" "We had a drone around our house today. The police said we should expect it because my husband is famous. But I can't imagine that people can just take a drone and spy on our house." You didn't quite know what he was going to say now, because there was a short silence. "Hmm, that's difficult. You have cameras in your house, don't you?" He asked. "Yes we have." "I can come over tomorrow and take a look at the recordings. Would that be okay?" "Yes thank you!" You put your phone aside and nod at Jaehyun. "He'll come by tomorrow and see if we can do something," you tell him. "Hmm, ..." Jaehyun found all of this suspect. "What?" "Why is he so nice?" He was getting more and more suspicious. "He's still taking care of Miga's case. It's his job." You stroke his shoulder and notice how tense he was. Jaehyun then nodded and he realized for himself how insecure he was.

You had decided to tell the children the next day that they will have a sister. It was enough excitement for them today already. They had behaved really well, but in the evening they were so tired that they almost fell asleep over dinner. Jaehyun was stressed all day, but you try to stay calm, after all, you had to take care of your girl in your belly. "Come to bed," you say gently and look at Jaehyun who is walking up and down in the bedroom. Jaehyun looked so uncertain and mistaken, but he nodded and came to bed with you. "I know it was a very busy day. But remember that we found out today that we are going to have a little girl." You stroke his upper body and lean against his shoulder. "That's right. I'm really happy about it." Jaehyun smiled and stroked your hair gently. "We should celebrate this," you say, stroking his bare abs with your hand. "To celebrate?" He looked at you in amazement and you nod. He didn't know his way around yet, but when you ran your hand over his middle, he knew. "Y/N, I don't know ..." "Your pregnant wife is horny. Do you want her to be unhappy?" You sit up, sit on his thighs and pull his pants down a little. "Oh, is that so?" He asked and had to laugh. "You know me when I'm pregnant." You grin and stroke its bare length. Jaehyun immediately closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. You take his cock in your hand and start to massage it harder and faster. He groaned and enjoyed your touch, but the moment you feel him hard enough, you get ready. Actually you wanted to sit on top of him, but Jaehyun sat up and turned so that you are now lying in bed. "You shouldn't work so hard. Relax." He kissed your neck and pulled up your shirt and panties. You couldn't wait to feel him again and when his tip pressed against your entrance, you couldn't take the tension anymore. Very slowly he pushed himself into you. "That feels so good," you breath and dig into his shoulder. "Yeah? You feel perfect too." Jaehyun kissed you gently and begins to move inside you. The sex felt really good. Your bodies could relax again and the togetherness was good for you too. In the beginning you were very gentle with each other, but later Jaehyun turned you around so that you were in the doggy position and he was the same again. He grabbed your hips tightly, clutched your buttocks and fucked you right. Your toes curled up and you almost lost your mind. You scream into the blanket with pleasure and Jaehyun threw his head back to enjoy everything. At some point he lifted one leg up on the mattress so that he could fuck you even better. And at some point you will reach your climax, closely followed by Jaehyun. With a loud moan he injects all his cum inside you and you two lie down in bed. Your breath was heavy, but you were happy. "I love you", Jaehyun breathed and kissed you.

daddy jaehyun masterlist

[boygirlmeetsworld]

Messy.

ONE-SHOT

Word count: 2793

Disclaimer:  One piece and all it’s characters belong to Eiichiro Oda, I just like to write about them.

Warning: None

Rating: T (i guess?? there’s cursing)

Author’s Note: Whale, this is the first fanfic I’ve posted on the interwebs since high school so please keep that in mind, lol. I do plan to finish it sooner than later so check back in a few days if you want to read the rest, sorry I don’t have it all done right now.  At long last it it FINISHED.

Feel free to tell me what u think! Unless it’s mean, then I ask that u keep those thoughts in ur noggin because I’m just writing these for fun not for grades.

Without further ado, here ya go.

Author’s Note pt 2: So i didn’t end up going the smut route like I originally planned, but I think it worked out better bc this one got nice and Emotional.

Summary: Zoro really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

__________________________________________

The moon was floating high in the night sky when Nami wandered onto the deck, unable to sleep even after a few hours of sketching. 

She wanted company – specifically, she wanted the company of the crew’s resident alcoholic. It only took a few minutes to find him on the lawn deck with his back against a tree and his eye closed. ‘How typical.’

Nami smiled a small, excited smile as she strode over to him and squatted between his parted legs. An unconscious sigh left her nose as she swept her gaze up and down his face. She caught herself thinking, ‘He really is easy on the eyes isn’t he.’ ....again. 

Who was she kidding? She’d been thinking the same thing every time she looked his way lately. 

Two years ago she’d been able to keep the immature crush she had on him locked tightly away but somehow - it had gotten out and was slowly consuming her entire being. 

Nami hoped he hadn’t noticed how often she invited him to drink with her because she didn’t think she could handle being rejected. So she settled for spending time alone with him whenever and however she could. 

“Hey, moss-head,” the navigator said finally, leaning in to squint at him, “Are you asleep?”

He had literally just settled down for a nice cat nap when the navigator appeared suddenly to interrupt him. ‘Damn. What the hell did she want now?’ 

Instead of answering, Zoro chose to ignore her and pretend like he was deep asleep. ‘Why won’t she go bother someone else?’

Nami started prodding his cheek with one finger to rouse him if he really was sleeping, ”Zorooo wake up, I wanna drink,” she whined and his eyelid opened instantly.

‘Why’s she so damn pretty..’ was the first thought he had when he realized that she was a lot closer than he’d anticipated. 

He mentally chastised himself after, trying to remind his id that Nami had never once indicated that she wanted to be anything other than friends and he should respect that. 

But… There was no harm in looking from time to time was there? And she was pretty. She’d always been... ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, now he sounded like Sanji. He needed to get a grip.’

“Helloooooo,” Nami waved her hand in Zoro’s face until he snapped back to reality and snatched her wrist up, pulling it away. He scowled but it wasn’t deep, and now he was refusing to look her in the eye. “What was that about, huh Zoro?”

“Nothing.” The swordsman replied perhaps a little too quickly to avoid suspicion, “Thought I heard a noise, doesn’t matter – oi, didn’t you want to do something?” 

He couldn’t remember what exactly it was. He’d been so distracted by the way her bangs framed her face and sometimes got caught in her eyelashes—’Damnit! He was doing it again.’

Nami smirked again but didn’t press the subject anymore. She’d do that later once they started drinking. “Weren’t you listening to me? You’re so rude, maybe I should find someone else to share my booze with.”

Was it a good idea to go drink with Nami when he kept catching himself thinking about feelings that he’d been suppressing for the last two years? Probably not…

But he couldn’t just decline an opportunity to get buzzed. ‘And... Maybe he wanted to get buzzed with Nami, specifically.’  

Zoro scoffed, mostly at himself. “Quit playing games, damnit, do you want me to drink with you or not?”

“You’re so stubborn,” The navigator teased with a pleased smile that made his heart beat unevenly, “I could care less if you join me, but you’re not allowed to come unless you say you’ll be nice.”

“Nami. I am older than you, quit treating me like a fucking child or I swear-”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady who’s getting you drunk for free, Roronoa Zoro. If you can’t be nice then I’ll just add the cost of everything you drink to your debt and-”

Zoro didn’t have time to ruminate over the way hearing her say his full name made him shiver because he had to shut her up before she did charge him. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be... nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth and her answering giggle made his pulse flutter. He had to fight to keep himself from smiling. ‘What the hell was going on with him tonight? Was he sick?’

“Good boy,” she turned and started walking towards the Sunny’s aquarium bar, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was coming.

“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Zoro snarled to mask his confusion over the sudden need to touch her that he felt scratching at the back of his head. He really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

He knew it, but he followed her up the stairs all the same.

                                                       * * *

“Why d’you always want to drink with me anyway, witch?” Skeptical of her intentions, his narrowed eye fixed itself on Nami as she approached him holding two maroon tinted bottles. She offered one to him and he accepted it – but he didn’t let his guard down yet.

Zoro lowered his gaze to check the label out, whistling long and low when he read 23% alcohol per volume. A couple puzzle pieces clicked together in his head ‘Oh, that’s why. Because if she tried to drink this with anyone else they’d pass out after two glasses.’

“Would you believe that I just like hanging out with you?” Though her tone was teasing she was actually being genuine, she had a lot of fun with him whenever they went out.

“No–“ He paused when Nami kicked him in the shin hard enough to make him swear. Reaching down with his free hand he rubbed the sore patch of skin and glared daggers at his crewmate. “What the fuck was that for?!”

“You said you’d be nice, Zoro! So be nice or I’ll charge you a hundred thousand beris for that bottle.” Nami uncorked hers but waited to hand the corkscrew over until he behaved himself. The look he was giving her would probably frighten a small child but she didn’t flinch.

‘This was his choice.’ He reminded himself. Of his own free will he chose to get drunk with Nami instead of napping, and that meant dealing with her bossiness no matter how much he loathed it. ‘Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her shut up, there were better things her mouth could be doing anyway-‘

“Why do you keep staring at me like that, do I have a zit or something?”

Zoro sat up so fast that he banged his shoulder on the underside of the countertop. ‘What the hell was that? What the hell was wrong with him?’ He hadn’t even opened the damn bottle and he was already making himself look like an idiot.

“No,” the swordsman grumbled, wracking his brain for a believable excuse, “Just thinking about how I’ll owe you money even after I’m dead if you keep charging me for bullshit.” That made her laugh and Zoro cursed himself for how much he liked hearing it. “Don’t see how it’s funny for me, witch.”

Nami let him take the corkscrew from her, eyes crinkled with amusement while he opened his bottle. “You’ll just have to stay alive until you pay me back in full, I guess!” She trilled before taking a long, heavy drink from hers.

“Yeah?” Zoro snorted before mimicking her and downing about half of the wine in the container. It tasted disgusting, which he’d expected, but that didn’t make the bitter aftertaste any less miserable. His nose wrinkled slightly as he set the bottle down. “I bet even if I did try to pay you off you’d find a way to charge me more.”

“You make me sound so heartless,” the navigator batted her eyelashes innocently, pretending to look hurt, “Why would I ever do such a thing?”

“Hah.” He scoffed before chugging some more wine and failing to keep track of how much he was drinking each time. “Because you want to keep me on a leash since I don’t throw myself at you like that dumbass cook.”

An impish smirk crawled it’s way onto Nami’s face that made him immediately regret what he’d just said. ‘Fuck. Damnit!’

“So…” She began slowly, savoring every second that the swordsman spent avoiding direct eye contact with her, “You admit that you are one of my lap dogs?”

A muscle in his jaw flexed and he stopped drinking for one second to grunt, “That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what I heard!” Chimed Nami as she rose from her seat, stepping over to Zoro and tracing a finger under his jaw while he drained the last few drops of liquid. “I should get you a collar, so people know who to bring you to when you get lost.”

Normally he would have snapped at her for poking fun at his sense, or lack thereof, direction but he wasn’t listening to her. She’d come close enough for him to pick up her scent and maybe it was the alcohol intensifying his feelings, but it was suffocating him in a good way.

He loved the way she smelled. Tangerines from her soaps mixed with salty seawater and traces of sunscreen. A hint of orange blossom, but only when she was close to him like this. 

Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose and, without realizing it, his expression melted into something affectionate and gentle. ‘In two years she’d changed in so many different ways�� but she still smelled the same. She still smelled like home.’

                                                        * * *

“What are you thinking about, Zoro?” Her voice void of it’s usual teasing tone, Nami’s curiosity was piqued by his sudden shift in demeanor. He looked soft and peaceful, like he didn’t have anything to worry about. She wanted to know why.

‘Ah, fuck.’ What was he supposed to tell her? That he was thinking about how good she smelled? ‘Yeah right.’ Zoro was quiet for a while, mulling over his words until he came up with an explanation that didn’t sound as creepy – but also wasn’t a lie.

“I guess..” he finally murmured, his gaze shifting to meet hers, “It’s just been a while and… I was thinking about how nice it feels to be back here, with everyone…” a brief pause then he added, “I missed you guys.” ‘Look at him being all gushy and emotional, this wine really was something else.’ Zoro reached to brush his fingertips by her temple, catching a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, “I missed you.”

When had Zoro ever been this honest with her about the way he felt? Never was the answer, but now he seemed to trust her well enough to know she wouldn’t spill his secrets. Nami took his face in both of her hands, surprising him, and pulled his head down so she could kiss his forehead. “I missed you too, Zoro.”

Something about hearing her say that she’d missed him too broke a dam in his chest that he’d been trying to keep together for two years. Hormoness flooded through his bloodstream quicker than Zoro could even process them and before he knew it he was practically throwing his arms around Nami’s waist and crushing her against his chest.

“Nami—” he pressed his face into her neck to hide the tears that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Sober he might have cared about losing it like this around her but she was here and… ‘He just – needed to hold her.’ Hold her and smell her and feel how real she was because she had almost been taken from him.

‘He’d barely begun to process what he had been through on Thriller Bark when they were attacked in Sabaody. If he tried to think back on it his memories would get hazy and his bones would ache from their very cores. He knew what had happened but it’s like his brain was protecting him from understanding how close to death he’d come. Then – to be torn away from the people he loved with all of his heart? Who he had just nearly killed himself to protect?

It had ripped him apart and rubbed salt into every wound. And it fucking hurt. The same kind of pain he felt when he saw Kuina dead on the floor of their dojo. He was scared, he was furious, he was devastated – all over again but this time it was so much worse. So, so much worse.

That was why he had trained so hard over the last two years. Because he couldn’t bear the grief that came with loving them so deeply – so he got stronger. And stronger. And stronger. No matter the cost to his body, he would become powerful enough to defeat anyone who crossed them. Then… He would never have to feel the agony that he did when he first woke up on Kuraigana Island ever again.

Taking on all of Luffy’s suffering in Thriller Bark had been the most physically painful experience of his entire life – but that was nothing compared to how much it hurt to think that his friends were gone forever, that he hadn’t been able to protect them.

Training made it easy not to think about what had happened -- but now he was home, and they were safe - and he was realizing just how close he’d come to losing all of them. At once. And he could do nothing to stop it.’

Startled by him grabbing her, Nami was prepared to give the pirate a good smack if he was getting handsy but… He started trembling. ‘Was he not feeling well?’ Her mouth opened to form the question then stopped. His breathing hitched while his entire body jerked and she realized…

‘Zoro was crying.’

Roronoa Zoro, who prided himself on his strength, was sobbing wretchedly into her neck. ‘He must have been holding this in since Sabaody.’ Nami’s heart ached for him and his stupid pride that forced him to torture himself instead of letting him cry like he needed to. She’d been expecting him to crash at some point, how couldn’t he? Even someone as strong as Zoro was still a human being.

One of her arms cradled his head while the other wound round his shoulders, her fingers combing gently through his hair. “Oh you sweet, sweet boy…” she spoke in the tone that Bellemere used to use when Nami and Nojiko were frightened by a passing thunderstorm. It always calmed her, maybe it would calm Zoro, too.

‘Quit fucking crying you loser you’re supposed to be a man.’ But he couldn’t, he literally could not stop because he was trying to. “I wasn’t strong enough,” his voice quivered at the edges and he hated it. ‘He was definitely never going to drink this kind of wine again ever. Not if it turned him into a blubbering mess like this every time.’

“Shhh, no. No. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for what happened. Hey, look at me.” Nami urged his head off her shoulder and cupped his face in both of her palms, “None of us were strong enough, okay? Not even Luffy.” Each tear that fell she tenderly swept away with the pad of her thumb. The corner of her mouth turned up as she assured him, “But we are strong enough now. We can take care of each other. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart again, Zoro.”

‘She was right. Of course, she was right. He needed to have faith in his crewmates and his captain. They could do anything as long as they had each other.’ His breathing slowly evened out as he focused on anchoring himself back to reality. He wasn’t in Sabaody or Kuraigana – he was on the Sunny. In the bar, with Nami who had grown so much since he last saw her. The look in his eye softened like it had before his breakdown.

“You’re staring at me again, Zoro.” The navigator teased, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. He hadn’t let go of her yet but she didn’t mind, he could hold on to her for as long as he needed.

A ghost of his usual smirk passed across his face. “Sorry, Nami…” Zoro took a little risk by leaning in to press a chaste but lingering kiss to her cheek, then traced a path with the edge of his nose to her ear, murmuring, “Wine makes me a little… Messy.”

[wrenhyperfixates]

If It’s Meant to Be

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: After you breakup, Loki regrets how he pushed you away. He can only hope that you’ll come back to him. Warnings: lots of angst and some fluff at the end A/N: Requested by the lovely @gaitwae​. Hope you enjoy!

Tag List: @lucywrites02​ @frostedgiant​​​ @lunarmoon8​​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​​ @lokistan​​ @thelokiimaginechroniclesficrecs​​ @gaitwae​​ @whatafuckingdumbass​​ @castiels-majestic-wings​​ @kozkaboi​​ @cozy-the-overlord​​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine.

It happened on a sunny day that Loki found out you’d moved on and started seeing someone else. It didn’t feel right that the world should be lit up by the golden rays when there was such a storm inside him. He tried his best to push his thoughts aside, he really did, but you kept popping into his mind. You and that boorish new boyfriend of yours. Loki didn’t know the man, but he already hated him. In reality, he hated himself far more for letting you go.

Loki had blocked most of the events leading to your breakup from his mind, but on the floor among the glass he’d shattered, it was coming back to him. He hadn’t even meant to break anything, not exactly. It was just that he was so angry, he wasn’t looking where he was going. Then the god bumped into the end table and, in a fit of rage, flipped it over. He hadn’t been thinking about the vase sitting on top of it. Or what was in it for that matter. Otherwise he may have been more careful as not to end up sitting among shards and your favorite flowers.

Back when you were dating, he had gotten nervous that he was no good for you. You had always been so understanding of his feelings, but it was different this time. He hadn’t told you how he felt, so you couldn’t help him through it. Instead, he started going on more missions, sometimes not even telling you. It hurt him when you confronted him on that.

“You’re just up and leaving without so much as a goodbye,” you said with teary eyes. “I keep finding out from Tony that you’re gone again. Is it something I did? I’m just... I’m just worried about you, Loki.”

He held you closer that day than he had in months. “I am so sorry, darling, please believe me. I will tell you from now on, you have my word.” He kissed the top of your head and rocked you back and forth. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and cried a little. “You also must know that this is not your fault. I swear it on my life, it is not because of anything you did. I love you, my darling, truly I do.”

“Then what is it, Loki?” you asked, raising your head and lifting your hand to cup his cheek. He leaned into your touch. “What’s wrong? You used to tell me these things. You know you can still talk to me about anything, right? I’m still here for you.”

“I know. I just... It feels like something I need to work through myself.”

“I understand. Just, I’m still here, ok? We don’t have to talk, even. I could just hold you.” You paused, looking into his eyes. You saw it in that moment, his heart fracturing. “You know, like you used to let me.”

You were too pure for him, he knew it. He knew it as you spoke those words. He knew it as he let you hold him, the vile, venomous snake that he was. And you did it gently, so gently. Somehow he was still breaking. Loki kept himself together as much as he could manage, started telling you when he was leaving, though the missions only became more frequent. And longer, too. For your part, you held on as long as you could, were there for him as much as you could be. But it was too hard when he kept distancing himself from you.

“Listen, Loki,” you calmly said one night after he returned to the Tower, as tired and removed as ever. “I love you. I love you so much. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t be in a relationship with you if that’s not what you want. And it seems like you don’t want it anymore. Your gone so much, and when you’re here, you’re so far away that you may as well have not come back. Just talk to me,” you pleaded. “I want to this fix this. Just talk to me.”

“I am sorry, darling. I can’t. I- I just don’t want to ruin you,” he replied, head bowed.

You took a deep breath, trying to quell your tears. Loki winced as your voice broke. “Then I’m sorry too, but I have to go. I wish you all the best, my love.”

For one final time, you kissed him. It was slow, it was gentle and tender. It was a goodbye. Still, you looked over your shoulder before you closed the door, silently praying for him to say something, anything, to stop you. He didn’t move, and so the door clicked behind you as he let the best thing to ever happen to him walk out of his life.

What was it that you Midgardians say? If you love someone, let them go. If it’s meant to be, they’ll come back to you. Well, Loki decided that was a load of rubbish. Because you most clearly were meant to be. Maybe the first part had some merit to it, though; he let you go because he loved you and couldn’t bear to let you chain yourself to a monster. He couldn’t help but wonder if he actually was one though, for surely monsters didn’t have hearts. But him? He knew he had one because he could feel it breaking.

After that day, Loki tried to hold on to the fragments of himself as he felt he was drifting off into space. He didn’t slow his pace on the missions, now a distraction to numb his pain.  Then one day, Tony made him take a break. He spent nearly a month moving around the Tower like a wraith, void of any outer expressions. Avoiding the lower floors at all costs, he mainly stuck to the private sections where he and the other Avengers lived. It was a precaution to keep himself from bumping into you, who worked in the Tower.

Two months later, he felt well enough to go outside again. He took the stairs down with Thor on one of the days he knew you wouldn’t be in. His brother looked afraid that he might turn to ash by stepping out into the sun for the first time in a while. Needless to say, he didn’t, but Thor kept throwing him worried glances as they went on their run.

From there, Loki took things one day at a time. He still thought about you often. About three months after the breakup, he started visiting the floor where you worked, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. Maybe if he saw you, he’d even get the courage to apologize. Then again, maybe it’s better if he just leaves you be.

He still hadn’t decided which was better when he got too careless one day, and you caught sight of him. He heard you say “excuse me” to whoever you were talking to before taking off in the direction where he was. Panicking, he fled the scene, but you still followed. At the end of the hall, he turned. But by the time you rounded the corner after him, he was already gone, having teleported back to his quarters.

Now he wonders what you would have said to him. Alas, he stopped seeking you out, so he’d never know. Plus, Tony was finally letting him volunteer for missions again, so he could fill his time that way. Even that began to hurt, though, as he realized he used to have your warm embrace to return to. These days, he went home to a cold, empty room. He’d lay on his bed and create small illusions of his memories with you until he realized it was doing his mental health more harm than good. Wasn’t that what had gotten him into this mess in the first place? His mental health? So, he sat up and stretched out, finally deciding to drag himself out of this slump he was in.

If there was one silver lining to come out of this, it was that his teammates actually became his friends. He wasn’t sure exactly when he began to think of them as such, but he did. It was in no small part due to the increased amount of time he was spending with them in your absence. You would have been proud of him if you knew. You’d always encouraged him to get to know them better, to not be such a loner. Satisfied with having you and his brother, he never did much listen to you on that matter. Well, now he was being forced out of his comfort zone. After all, he could only handle his brother in small doses, and he was all Loki had now.

Five months had passed since you’d left Loki, since he’d pushed you away. After weeks of trying, Loki’s friends had finally coaxed him into attending Tony’s latest party. So, he appeared in a full suit and tie with his fellow Avengers. Rather begrudgingly, he was enjoying himself.

He was laughing by the bar with Wanda and Bucky when he saw you. Despite trying not to look your way again, he failed and kept stealing glances at you. Eventually, he caught your eye, and you gave a shy little wave. He returned it along with an small but excited smile. Just as he was about to take his first step towards you, a man he didn’t recognize came up next to you. The stranger put his arm around you and handed you a drink. And then you kissed him, shattering Loki’s heart all over again. By the time you looked back over, the trickster god was gone.

Storming down to the ground level of the Tower, he pushed through the door and out into the world, desperate for fresh air. Suddenly feeling like he was being choked, he loosened his tie from around his neck before taking it off completely. It was too bright out, the sunlight blinding his eyes as he walked without direction. Just away, far away. He walked until the sun rose again the next day, the same thoughts circling in his mind the whole time. This was his fault. He’d let you go. He’d pushed you away. There was no one to blame but himself.

Loki slept all the next day, worn from his mindless wandering. It was like all the progress he’d made over the last several months were drained from his body. Still, he tried to carry on with his normal routine, and went for his morning run with Thor. Sometimes Steve and Sam joined them, too, but they were both on a mission at the moment. It was a good thing, too, because Loki didn’t think he could handle the embarrassment of the double take he did had they been there. Just as he and his brother were exiting, the man he could only presume to be your boyfriend entered. But you weren’t working that day, and sure enough, he swiped in with his own card. Now not only would Loki have to avoid you, he’d have to avoid your boyfriend, too, lest seeing his face threw him in a blind, vengeful rage.

Four more months passed, and Loki was doing an excellent job of not seeing you or Owen, which he later found out was your boyfriend’s name. And yet, he longed for you. Your gentle touch. Your kind words. The Avengers kept pushing for him to start seeing someone else, but he still didn’t feel ready, leaving him to pine for you from afar.

Loki walked into the elevator after quickly dropping off a file on the floor you worked on. Thankfully, he managed to avoid seeing you. As the doors began to close, he heard a voice asking him to keep them open. He obliged while the person quickly rushed over, the large stack of papers they carried covering their face.

“Thank you,” they said, struggling with the unwieldy stack, voice slightly strained as they desperately tried to keep from dropping it.

“It is no problem. What floor?” Loki responded, hitting the button that corresponded with their answer. “Would you like some help with that?”

“I’m fine. I-”

Loki caught the falling stack with impressive reflexes as the person cut out and dropped it. He looked at their now exposed face. It was you. Neither of you said anything for a moment as you both somewhat awkwardly balanced the papers between you.

“Oh! Hi, Loki. I, um,” you cleared your throat, “I guess I could use some help.”

“Yes. Very well, then,” he said, taking slightly more than half the stack. It was oppressively silent for another moment as you both stared at the numbers denoting what floor you were on dropping far too slowly for your liking. Loki swore the elevator had never been this slow before. “So, uh, how have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been fine,” you replied, diverting your gaze for a minute. “You know, same as usual. How about you?”

“Fine, fine. Same as always, really.” Another awkward silence. “I heard you were seeing someone. How is he doing, your boyfriend?”

“Do you mean Owen? We actually broke up a few weeks ago.”

“I am sorry,” Loki apologized. “I did not know.”

“It’s totally fine,” you laughed it off in a way that was music to his ears. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”

As the doors opened and you deposited the papers where you needed to, Loki couldn’t help but think of that Midgardian phrase again. He’d loved you, and he’d let you go, completing the first part. Well, maybe it was time to make good on the second.

“I do not suppose,” he began, “that you would like to go out for a coffee sometime? Just to catch up, is all.”

You smiled at him softly. “I would love that.”

After setting your plans, you parted ways. Loki felt happier than he had in a long time. After all, you’d come back to him, even if it was just as friends for the moment. But he was certain it would turn into something more, sooner or later. Why? Because deep in his heart, he was sure he’d always known it. You were meant to be.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Seven

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: so this chapter doesn't exactly have a hay bale maze but it has something even better :)

***

Being a legal consultant is surprisingly easy.

Years of studying business law in order to take down big corporations in the courtroom is now being used to help a big corporation— Nesta wants to be disgusted at the state of her morals. Fortunately for her, all the issues that have come across her desk so far are minor negotiation matters. The way Night Court Inc. is run is virtually perfect, and she almost hopes a blatant lawsuit drops into her lap just so she can give Rhysand and his sycophantic workers hell.

Though Nesta knows better than to dream big. This is essentially busy work that Night Court’s actual lawyers don't have time to do, but she's grateful for it either way. She's grateful for the man who got her this job even more.

When her car finally gets back from the auto shop one sunny November morning, Cassian suggests they go out to celebrate.

“Celebrate what?” Nesta says. “Not having to rely on you for rides anymore?”

“Exactly that.” Cassian grins and leans his elbow against the kitchen counter. “There’s a fall festival an hour north of here that pops up every year. There's good food and hot cider. Let’s go.” He nudges her excitedly.

Nesta narrows her eyes at him. “You’ve been planning this,” she accuses.

“I go every year,” he shrugs. “Come on, we have the whole day ahead of us.”

He makes pleading puppy eyes that have absolutely no effect on Nesta, but she doesn't want to hurt his ego by letting him know that.

There is nothing appealing to her about going out into the cold and doing autumn-related activities, so she surprises herself and Cassian both when she agrees to go. He rewards her with a wide smile and tells her to get ready.

Nesta feels oddly giddy afterward. She can't recognize the feeling, so she tamps down on it while she gets dressed and braids her hair.

Outside, her burgeoning smile drops when she sees Cassian getting the truck started. “I thought the point of this was that we could use my car now.” She gestures to her beat up blue sedan, a sad little thing parked next to Cassian’s fancy truck.

“Nes, if I thought your car could go anywhere near a mountain road without falling to pieces, I would get in it without hesitation.”

It's as close to apologetic sympathy as she’ll get from him, so she only grumbles a little before climbing into the passenger seat she's gotten all too familiar with.

The door slams as Cassian gets in the driver’s seat, and something on the dashboard catches Nesta’s attention. Reaching out, she picks up one of her coloring books and her zipper bag full of markers and pencils.

She glances at Cassian. “Is this for me?”

He looks up from where he’s buckling his seatbelt. “Oh, I just picked it up on my way out. Cell signal gets spotty the closer we get to the mountains, so you might get bored.”

Nesta looks down at the coloring book she's clutching, surprised.

“Did you want anything else before we leave?” Cassian says. “I can run inside and pick up some books.”

“No— no, this is good,” she says softly. She flips the page open to a fresh landscape scene, black on white lines staring back at her. “Thank you.”

She unzips her pencil bag with a new reverence, barely noticing as they pull out of the driveway and head for the highway leading out of town.

Nesta is intent on her coloring the entire ride, falling far too easily into that little bubble of her own mind where she forgets that other things and people exist. Cassian, unlike most people, doesn't seem to mind this. He's content with driving in the quiet, the only sound the soft crackle of the radio and the scratch of Nesta’s pencils.

She’s trying to get the blue shades of the lake just right when she feels the truck start to slow, and she looks up to see that they're in some kind of parking lot. Ahead, a market-carnival setup sits at the base of the mountains, and it sprawls as far as her eyes can see. “We’re here already?”

“Yeah.” Cassian glances at her hesitantly. “Is it lame?” He gestures to the autumn-themed affair, as if he’ll turn around and drive them right back home if it isn't to Nesta’s liking.

Nesta can’t pay the festival any attention yet. “I’m not done with this picture yet,” she says simply. She holds it up for Cassian to see, even though he probably can't tell that the mostly-completed picture is still missing a couple of details.

He just says, “We’ll wait till you're finished, then.”

She brightens with relief, and takes her time adjusting the colors of the landscape to her liking. As soon as she's satisfied with what she has, though, she throws her pencils and book down like they're on fire and grabs her coat. “Let's go,” she demands.

If Cassian is surprised at her sudden change of pace, he hides it well and follows Nesta onto the fairground. “Slow down,” he calls for her.

Perhaps the fall season isn't terrible, Nesta thinks as they buy warm candied apples. The air smells nice and the weather is brisk and Cassian stands so close to her that she never quite gets cold.

It feels almost like a date.

Nesta glances at Cassian from the corner of her eye as she chews on her apple. Wind ruffles his hair and his brown cheeks are flushed red, but he looks content. It's too bad they're just friends, because this would have been a nice date.

She has to stop her train of thought before she gets distracted by how Cassian’s hand isn't holding anything, and how her hand isn't holding anything, and maybe their hands should—

She makes a fist with her free hand and shoves it into her coat pocket. This is why she doesn't usually have friends, she remembers— because she can never stop hungering for more.

Nesta and Cassian’s not-date is spent with Cassian throwing his money at every other thing he sees on sale, and Nesta biting her tongue at the unnecessary waste of it all.

“Eight dollars for a cup of cider? Come on, you're being scammed.” Nesta pulls at his elbow, trying to lead him away from the drinks stand.

“But it comes in one of those cute little jars,” Cassian protests as he’s pulled away.

There’s a laughably small hay-bale maze that they complete in less than three minutes, thanks to Cassian being tall enough to see over the hay bales. Then there’s a ferris wheel that Nesta adamantly refuses to get onto, regardless of how high it goes or not. And then, without either of them noticing, the sun starts slipping behind the mountains.

With her arms full of bags of snacks and random knickknacks that she’ll never need in her life, Nesta finds herself back in the market area.

There’s a painting at an art stand that has caught her attention. Something about the brush strokes and choice of color palette… it reminds her of Feyre’s art style. Amateur, but warm and comforting, clearly made with love and dedication. She approaches the elder salesman carefully, only wanting a closer look at the piece.

It’s of a glittering forest in the peak of autumn, ruby and flame-colored leaves littering the scene. An unwalked pathway cuts through the scene, and a longing Nesta can’t place swells in her stomach.

“My daughter painted this one,” the salesman says to her, pride peeking through his voice. She glances up at the kind-faced man. “Only this one?” she asks. The rest of the paintings don’t have the same art style, Feyre’s style.

“Yes.” He places a protective hand over the canvas. “She’s still learning, but she’s got heart and potential. One day she’ll be a better artist than me.”

Nesta blinks at his words. “How much is it?”

“How much do you have?”

She looks down at her hands full of shopping bags and realizes not one of them is carrying her wallet. “Oh, I must have left my money with my—” She glances up then and looks around. “Cassian?”

He was just here with her. They were walking together and she took note of the pretty fairy lights that were starting to turn on, and then she saw the art stand. She scans the milling crowd for a glimpse of his face, but it’s five p.m. and fully dark now.

Unease starts to pump in her chest. “Cassian?” she calls again. She wanders away from the art stand, painting and salesman forgotten. Maneuvering her full hands, she wrangles her phone out of her back pocket and turns it on. Just as she suspected— no signal. Waving it high in the air doesn’t do much for her either.

Shoving her phone back in her pocket, Nesta takes a strained breath and resolves to keep looking. If she can’t find him, she can always make her way back to the parking lot—

Something shoves hard into Nesta’s back, and her glasses slip right off her nose in the collision. She feels a metallic crunch under her boot and gasps. Suddenly there are people everywhere, heading in the opposite direction that she is, and whoever bumped into her yells a quick apology that gets lost in the crush of bodies.

Nesta stumbles out of the crowd, blinking quickly. She can’t see a thing, and the fairy lights are now blurry orbs. “My glasses—” she says to nobody. She scans the flattened grass and dirt furiously, squinting until she gets a headache, but she can’t find them. “Shit.”

She ends up roaming out of the market area, finding herself back on the fairgrounds. There are a few tents around her, but they're empty and the noise has died down. She doesn’t know where she’s going.

At one point, Nesta simply drops her bags and keeps walking without them. She barely notices leaving them behind. The magic has drained out of the festival, and she just wants to find her way back to Cassian’s truck. If the ferris wheel is that way, then the exit should be that way… she thinks.

She looks around in the dark, frustrated tears rising at her inability to recognize anything. She's alone. She’s cold. She was abandoned.

Nesta doesn't know how long she stands there, hopeless in some deserted corner of the fairgrounds. She forgets what she's supposed to be doing, and just stands there staring at nothing. Escaping to a numbing void in her mind.

The desperate call of her name brings her back to earth.

Blinking, Nesta turns around to find a tall figure heading towards her. Cassian.

He’s holding something in his hand, she can tell, but he drops it when he sees her face and breaks into a run.

“Nesta!” Hard warmth crashes into her as strong arms grab her and yank her close. Her face presses into his chest, and hot tears fall despite the lingering numbness.

“Where did you go?” Cassian is demanding. “You had me so fucking scared—”

“I lost my glasses,” she says weakly into the wool of his coat.

“I know.” He goes from stroking her back to clutching her face. His thumbs rub at the wetness beneath her eyes, and finally she can see his face. He’s close enough that she can read every detail, their foreheads pressed tightly together. He isn't letting go.

She presses her lips together. “I lost you.”

“I know.”

In the next moment, Nesta feels everything all at once: Cassian’s heavy breath on her face, his fingers digging into her scalp, his hazel eyes looking relieved and apologetic and terrified at the same time. His heartbeat racing beneath her hands.

For the briefest eternity, Nesta and Cassian share the same mind. They are thinking the exact same thing.

There’s a moment of painful hesitation, where Nesta has the opportunity to pull away. She doesn't take it, and by then it's too late— Cassian’s mouth is on hers.

Oh. Oh.

Nesta buckles a little under the weight of his kiss, but he holds her upright with his grip. His fingers wind so tightly into her braid she worries he might undo the whole thing, but then she's tucking her cold hands into the warmth of his sweater and wow, what a wonderful end to a terrible night.

His lips break from hers for a breath, only to come in again and kiss her deeper this time. A helpless noise escapes from one or both of them. She’s unraveling with every stroke of his tongue, and she thinks distantly that if kisses were flavored, this one would be sweet enough to make her teeth ache.

It's over far too soon, with Cassian’s series of kisses slowing until they stop completely. He pulls back far enough that they both have room to breathe, and with oxygen comes sharp reality.

For once, Nesta has no words. Her thought process is a tape jammed on a few moments ago, so Cassian is the one that has to slowly drop his hands from her hair and clear his throat.

“Let's go home,” is all he says.

***

The drive back to the cabin is silent. Nesta puts her earbuds in and turns on music as soon as they get in the truck, and halfway home Cassian glances over and realizes she's fallen asleep.

His knuckles are white on the steering wheel, and it's a struggle to keep his eyes on the headlight-lit road ahead.

Losing track of Nesta with no way to contact her was one thing, but nothing scared Cassian more than when his eyes caught the metallic glint of broken gold rims in the trampled dirt of the marketplace.

After running from stall to stall searching for Nesta, only one man was able to give Cassian a straight answer. “She was looking at some art and then she went that way,” the old salesman pointed. “She seemed upset; I think she was looking for you.”

The pieces of Nesta's glasses sit in a bag in the backseat now, tucked alongside a canvas painting of an autumn landscape.

The relief Cassian felt when he found her in one piece, when she turned to him with the saddest eyes— he was more cemented in his feelings for her in that moment than in any late night he’d spent dreaming about her.

And when she looked at him like that, fighting not to cry… it was over for him. Weeks of restraint that he hadn't even noticed building up snapped at the last second, until he was kissing Nesta like it was his final dying wish. All of it, utterly over.

He glances over to her now, where she sleeps with her head against the fogged window, exhausted after the day she's had. His hands twitch with the temptation to reach out and touch her.

Gravel crunches as Cassian pulls up into the driveway, and he looks at Nesta again and sighs. He almost goes to wake her, but changes his mind at the last moment and gets out of the car instead. Circling around to the passenger side, he opens the door and carefully lifts her out of her seat.

Her head lolls against his chest, but she doesn't wake. Stress and high emotions have no doubt knocked her out for the rest of the night.

Realizing there's no way to unlock the front door while holding Nesta, Cassian has to circle around to the back of the cabin, entering through the open kitchen door and carrying her on silent feet up the stairs.

Once she's safely tucked in her bed, Cassian can relax his shoulders for the first time all night. Later, he sits down in the half-lit kitchen with Nesta’s broken glasses before him. The frame is split right down the middle, but he already knows Nesta won't allow him to get her a new pair. He’ll need wire and some pliers.

Tying his hair back, he settles down and gets to work.

***

a/n: i'm trying to apologize less for my work but this chapter is not only short and late but also super iffy in terms of writing quality 🥴 so im sorry. if my secret snowflake gift has anything to do with it part 8 will also be a little late (i'm looking for balance guys i really am).

tagging: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Serva me, Servabo te

save me and I will save you

pairing: photographer!Taehyung x f.reader

genre: angst, smut, slight enemies to lovers

word count: 8.5k | reading time: 45 min

chapter summary: Taehyung and you can't stop bickering, even after what happened. But something brings you closer.

warnings: Dom!Tae, sub!reader, protected vaginal sex, super tiny blowjob ig, slight chocking, dirty talk,

All chapters  |   Masterlist  |  Read on AO3

Chapter 6: Behind closed doors

Sometimes, you're having such an amazing dream that you don't want to wake up. Not even when you can feel the wakeful consciousness prying the images from your brain with force, when things start to make less and less sense, and events are repeated in an attempt to keep dreaming. And you have started to be aware of the sounds around the room, the position your body is in, the way your eyelids are heavily closed, and you're not sure if you simply don't want to move, or if you are unable to.

But just as you're wishing to remember the dream and all of its details, the moment you open your eyes, you have already forgotten it.

You were confused for a second as to why you were in your room. Or perhaps the confusion came from why you were in your room, alone- having already gotten used to some company. Then the memories from the previous night presented themselves; the way you had almost fallen asleep in Taehyung's arms and he had helped you walk upstairs and tucked you under the covers. You think the dream that you were failing to recall now might have been what your subconscious guessed -or hoped- could have happened next. If he hadn't left you alone.

But he wasn't there with you; perhaps his presence could have distracted you enough not to think about the consequences of your actions. But you were all alone and free to overthink, regret, agonize. It all felt like the worst hangover, and you weren't even drunk. Like Taehyung was some type of drug you got hooked on from the very first night; you craved him and would do anything to have him at the moment, then could only pull yourself together after it was all over. And you feared leaving now would result in you experiencing withdrawal.

Your phone buzzed -it was plugged in to charge even though you know it wasn't you who did that- and you realized it was that same sound that had slowly woken you up. You found the strength to roll over and grab it. A couple of missed calls; a couple of texts. Yoonji, obviously. You sighed, thinking about how you weren't ready to face reality yet and especially not to deal with your roommate, but when you read the most recent text you jumped off the bed.

"WE NEED TO TALK ! !"

Oh, no. Not all caps. Not two exclamation points, with spaces, too. There was no more time to dwell on anything, you were out the door before you could even blink. And you ran downstairs, looking around all the empty rooms.

"Taehyung!" you shouted but got no reply. He was nowhere, yet again. You dashed back upstairs to look into his room, that one empty, too, but heard noises when you passed by the bathroom door. "Taehyung?" You called again, and after a moment of silence, he answered.

"Yeah?" His voice was coming from inside, and you almost acted out from instinct to open the door. Luckily you stopped yourself, exhaled heavily through your nose while shaking your head and biting your cheek.

"Did you tell Jimin what happened?" you snarled.

"What?" he called, sounding confused.

"Did you- oh, jeez!" You quickly averted your gaze when the bathroom door swung open and a naked Taehyung was standing behind it.

"What are you talking about?" he simply asked, very casual. So casual it made your eyes follow his voice, ever so briefly, and out of the corner, you noticed he wasn't actually completely naked. You hesitantly turned your head back forward, still avoiding looking at him directly because of the way it made your face catch on fire.

Taehyung was standing by the door with a towel wrapped around his lower half. His dark hair appeared even darker due to the water dripping from his locks, down his shoulders. And everything else was exposed; his sharp collarbones, his soft tummy, the small trail of hair in the middle of his chest and right before the towel began. You lost your train of thought altogether. Flustered and awkward, mumbling your words but saying nothing.

Taehyung enjoyed your blushing state for a moment, rubbing his chest with a palm, mostly to draw your attention on him again, before he decided to help you out. "Tell Jimin what?"

Oh, right. "Uh- what... happened." He kept looking at you as if he didn't know what you were talking about. "Last night," you continued, but he still just raised his eyebrows at you, as if he wanted you to say it out loud. You rolled your eyes and took a breath to find the courage. "Did you tell Jimin that we made out last night?"

He chuckled, clearly amused by the way you had described it; like you hadn't done much more than that. "No," he finally humored you and you sighed in relief. "Why did you think I did?"

You shrugged. "Yoonji was all dramatic about wanting to tell me something and I just thought..."

"Hm, well, you thought wrong," he said matter-of-factly. And he looked at you with such a stare, you suddenly didn't know what to do with yourself. You felt bad for the possibility even crossing your mind.

Your eyes down on the floor, you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. "And... you're not going to tell him, right?"

"Do you want me to?" You shook your head at his question and he raised an eyebrow fleetingly. "Then I won't." He agreed, but you still felt like he was judging you. You felt like you were doing something so, so wrong and you couldn't even wrap your head around what it was. What could be worse than what you had already done?

"Alright, then..." you murmured, biting your lip and avoiding his direct eye contact once again. "Can we both make a promise? What happens in this Manor, stays in this Manor."

You noticed the corner of his mouth lift up, and he leaned in closer. "Sure. Everything that happened, and everything that will happen the next few days, it's all forgotten the moment we step out of the door," he whispered with a smirk. Then turned his head to force you to look into his eyes. "Is that what you want?"

You could see the satisfaction in having gotten you flustered again written all over his face. The implication alone of his -and your- words had your skin running cold. And perhaps you wanted to scoff at him, put him in his place; tell him nothing else would be happening. But it was more likely you'd be lying. It was more likely you didn't want to make such a promise.

So you avoided responding completely. "I'm going to go take a shower," you announced, turning away.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" he called after you before you had managed to disappear from his sight.

You paused and glanced at him through your shoulder. "No."

"I'll make something, then."

You offered him a quick nod and got in your room. And finally, you could breathe. It was the awkwardness of your first day there all over again, but so different, and so much worse. At least at the beginning, he was pretending not to remember anything; now there was no such comforting thought anymore. Not only did he know, he probably knew more than you; as in he could read your thoughts better than you could interpret them yourself. When you didn't even want to admit how much you liked his lips on yours, he definitely could tell.

And now what? You couldn't understand from your brief interaction what was supposed to happen next. Would you continue your days normally like nothing happened, or would it only get worse from now on? You had a hunch he would go for the second choice. But you didn't know what you wished for.

Your phone had no signal again; you couldn't even see what your drama queen of a roommate wanted to talk about. With the reassurance that it was (probably) nothing that you had done, however, you could go take that shower you had promised. Well, your mind was still being tortured with unneeded worries and scenarios, but at least Yoonji was one thing less to worry about. It's not like you would ever be truly free from Taehyung, anyway. Especially not after the image you had seen earlier.

Damn, he looked like a whole snack. No matter how much of an ass he was, you could never lie about that.

Your bed was made when you got back in that room, sheets smelling fresh. This time you thought about the housekeepers, not the man. Even though you had still never seen anyone else in that house, and it was eerie, to say the least, how they managed to avoid you so perfectly every time, but you just had to believe there was someone there. You had to, otherwise, you didn't know what you'd believe.

You could smell the fried bacon even when you were still upstairs. Taehyung really didn't have to go so hard every time he did anything; you would be fine with just something light, for a change. But no, he had to make a whole meal every day, didn't he? What was he trying to prove? It wouldn't change your mind about him. Or maybe it did, a little bit, when you decided to wear again the cleaned dress he had complimented you on. Like you craved his approval.

"What's all of this?" you said once you walked into the kitchen and the table was full. Two eggs, sunny side up, on each plate with a couple of bacon stripes next to them, fried white cheese, and sliced tomatoes. Just on the plates. Then there was what looked like oatmeal on an extra bowl topped with nuts and fruit, slices of bread accompanied by honey and butter, freshly squeezed orange juice, and filter coffee. "This is a whole hotel buffet!" It definitely overshadowed your pudding.

Taehyung flashed you a grin before pushing his still wet hair back and setting the final touch, the cutlery, on the table. "I thought you'd be hungry." He didn't finish the sentence, which would clearly go something like "after I made you pass out last night."

You chewed on your lip, hating that he was so obviously right, you couldn't even try to hide it. But you still kept your head high as you sat down. "You know, I often skip breakfast, anyway. All of this is really unnecessary."

He pointed at you with a scowl. "Unacceptable! You should never, ever skip breakfast." Then he sat down diagonally from you.

You rolled your eyes at him. "Whatever. This isn't breakfast, this is what I eat in a day."

He cocked his head to the side, a smile being suppressed on his lips, as he picked his fork up to dig in first. "I can't say I didn't warn you about my cooking skills and the effort I put in the next day."

Gosh, he made you so mad. You were this close to telling him to go back to pretending he didn't even know you; so much better than having to listen to him brag about you like you were just another conquest. And the worse part is that you willingly let that happen. And that you're still not in your car, driving back home. Maybe you're just all talk and no action. You keep saying how much you hate him, but really, why don't you act like it?

"You don't have to try so hard to make me fall for you, though," you answered eventually, starting to eat one of the eggs.

"Is that because you have already fallen for me?"

You shot him a glare. "I thought I already made it pretty clear how I feel about you."

Taehyung snorted loudly with his eyes wide. "Right, crystal clear. Absolutely no mixed signals at all!"

You let your hand drop on the table with a thud. "You're insufferable."

He took another bite and smiled at you smugly. "If I am so, you could always leave."

Your mouth dropped right as a deep frown settled on your features. You had definitely thought about doing exactly that, many, many times already. But there was no way you'd do it now that he had said it. No way you would give him the satisfaction. Although, for the moment, you did get up since you didn't want to stay there with him another second. You got up, with a pout, ready to storm out, but...

"I said," Taehyung growled, giving you a stern look through his lashes. "You should never skip breakfast."

You had never seen him so serious. Sure, you wanted to go against him, but it felt almost impossible. Maybe it was just how hungry you were and even you didn't really want to leave with an empty stomach. Your body, as if it was on auto-pilot, obeyed his words and you sat back down. You held your fork and knife in a bruising grip, glaring at him, while you contemplated whether you should pick the plate up and leave, or if that would be kind of crossing the line. Even for you. But before you could escape, the photographer dragged his chair until it was right next to yours. He picked up a bit of bacon from your food with his own fork and brought it to your mouth.

"You don't need to feed me!" you complained, immediately turning your head to the side.

But Taehyung held you from the chin until you faced him again. "I clearly do, since you're being a baby," he said, his expression still very serious. It almost felt like you were being punished. "Now, open up."

"I'm not a baby!"

"I'll believe it when you stop being so immature. Open."

His hand still on your jaw and his tough gaze now on your lips, you finally obliged him and let him feed you. What the hell was Taehyung fascination with feeding people? You had seen it happen more times than what one would consider normal. He fed you two more bites before you finally managed to pull away, convincing him you wouldn't just bolt. You wouldn't disobey. But he still didn't go back to his old spot, simply brought his own plate right next to yours and started eating with you. So close, your elbows were bumping with every move.

"I'm not immature," you spat out at some point, his words still bothering you.

He argued the opposite without even pausing or looking at you. "Says the girl who can't even kiss another adult without worrying so much about people finding out."

Well, the two of you had clearly moved from the phase where everything was secret and mysterious and implicit, to the phase where he could just say everything that crossed his mind out loud, no shame about it. And you -to no one's surprise- hated it.

"I wouldn't call having standards immature," you replied with a rise of your eyebrows and the last sip of your juice. The exact moment you lowered that glass, however, your vision was blocked and your lips were occupied again before you could even grasp what was happening. Taehyung gave you one quick peck and then was gone just as fast. You just widened your eyes to the maximum as you turned to look at him in an attempt to understand what he had done, and why. Where that kiss had come from. If looks could talk, you were sure his would be saying: "yes, I did that; what are you going to do about it?" He was mocking you. Because you didn't want your friends to know you liked kissing him, he was doing it even more. He had the audacity to do whatever he wanted now, absolutely no reservation. And he decided to taunt and punish you.

"Standards..." he scoffed, getting back to his food.

If you had any of those you would have stopped him already. Is that what he was trying to say? You were fuming. Got up once and for all -the food was over anyway- while you pushed the chair back so aggressively it almost fell to the ground. You didn't need to sit here and take this- this- humiliation. But as you turned to leave, you were stopped by a hand wrapped around your wrist.

"I see you're wearing that pretty, fairy dress of yours again," Taehyung mumbled, his eyes raking up and down your form. "I hope you're not planning on going out- it's going to rain."

You tugged your hand away. Now he was telling you what you could and what you couldn't do, too? "Since when did you become my dad?" you spat. Well, that was obviously supposed to be a bash at his controlling and authoritative manners, but it certainly didn't come out as such. And you were wondering why he was calling you immature?

"Well..." he chuckled, giving you another scan with a smirk on his lips, and you knew exactly what he was thinking about.

You groaned. "No! Stop that! Don't even say it. You're disgusting," you quickly accused him with a pointed finger and left the room.

Of course, your first thought was to go out. Just because he had said no. But even you could tell there was a storm coming from the looks of the sky, and getting caught in it while in the woods was the last thing you needed right now. So your next thought was to try and call Yoonji again, vent about how much you hated the famous photographer to someone who actually believed it; someone who hadn't seen you beg for him last night and could clearly deduce you were lying. But your phone was mysteriously gone. You knew, for a fact, that you had left it on the nightstand where it had been charging. But no matter how much you looked over and under and around it, your phone wasn't there. You tried to think about the possibility of you taking it somewhere else, but since you had no signal you knew it was minimal. No, someone must have gone into the room and moved it. Perhaps the housekeepers.

There was some light tapping on the window and you almost thought the crazy man was throwing rocks at you again before you realized it was too much and too fast. You saw the rain droplets hitting the glass and sliding down in a rhythm in front of the grey background. And so it had begun.

You managed to slip into the sitting room while Taehyung was still busy in the kitchen. You would need the warmth of the lit fireplace if the rain was going to only get worse from then on. So you had to infiltrate the room before he had the chance. And you waited for him to appear, maybe even wanted him to, but he didn't. As if he knew you wished to be alone, as if he knew where you were without even checking, he stayed clear of the sitting room. And it was lonely.

Perhaps there was no reason you weren't with him right now. You had already proved that you still liked each other, maybe not in the way you would expect, but definitely at least carnally. And you had also established that whatever happened there, would stay there. That could have easily been the excuse you needed to spend the rest of your days there enjoying it as much as you could, without any shame and without looking back. But Taehyung still managed to get on your nerves. And you were pretty sure you did the exact same to him.

It may be that you were simply never meant to stop annoying each other. You wanted to go find him in whatever room of the many in this Manor he was in, tell him to just shut up and kiss him, but the idea that he would get the satisfaction of winning this stupid, made-up competition in your head made you upset. Even though just last night you were chanting his name like a prayer, by daylight you were still too proud to admit you liked it. Who knows, perhaps you won't have the same hesitations in the evening.

The rain kept getting louder, loud enough to distract you as you watched out the window to observe the scenery and how it reacted to the natural phenomenon. There was music somewhere in the background and you assumed Taehyung must have figured out how to get that old record player in the hallway to sing. The book abandoned open on the couch didn't keep you as much company anymore. All you could do was think about what the boy was up to, think about what would happen next. And you realized things could either keep going up and down, or they could go smoothly. And you also realized you hated the idea of being with the boy you've spent so long dishing, but you hated staying in that room alone more.

You may not want him as your boyfriend or your friend normally, but perhaps the days in this Manor could not count.

You found your way back into that kitchen, pretending you needed some water when you knew you'd find him there preparing lunch. You expected a clever remark, a teasing tone, a sarcastic joke from him. Something that would remind you why you had stormed out in the first place; but were met with a small smile. He seemed happy to see you there like he wasn't expecting it. And he stayed quiet, the way you do when you don't want to scare a wild animal away. So you let your shoulders drop and allowed yourself to get closer, peeping at the pieces of meat he was sauteing. He snaked an arm around your waist as he pulled you to the other side and handed you a knife and the vegetables he clearly needed you to cut. And with another small smile and a stroke of your cheek, you ended up side by side cooking together in almost absolute silence, save for the rain, the music, the sizzling of the food, and the occasional instruction given in the form of a whisper. And you liked it.

The food, as always, was amazing. And Taehyung pushed you until you confessed just that, although he then claimed it was because of your help. The disc that had been playing had reached its end and was doing quiet circles around itself until the photographer finished his last bite and went outside to stop it. When he came back into the kitchen, however, he was looking somewhat perplexed.

"Do you hear those noises, Amy?" he asked you.

You got off the table to face him, too. All you could hear at first was the sound of the rainfall, but once you moved closer to the hallway, you realized what he was referring to. Noises coming from upstairs.

You walked right in front of him, grabbing his arm. "See, Tae? That's what I was talking about. That can't be just the pipes."

Taehyung nodded as the thumping got louder. "And the housekeepers?"

You frowned. "You're saying there are people here right now?"

Clearly, you were alone. He glanced down the corridor and back at you, holding your arm as well. "Then? Is there someone else here?"

Oh, you didn't like that question. You were supposed to be asking the absurd questions and he was supposed to be calming you down. What was he doing, being the crazy one now? "Like... Who? What?"

It seemed like he remembered to be cool, and he shook his head with a chuckle. "No. There can't be anyone here," he said, releasing his grip on you and looking back down the hallway. "It must be something else."

"Okay," you sighed. "Then, will you go and look?"

"Me?"

"Well, yeah."

"Why do I have to go?" he mumbled even though he was still trying not to look scared.

You saw the opportunity and took it; crossing your arms over your chest. "I can't go, you know, since I'm an immature baby. You have to be the man and go check."

Taehyung growled at you through his teeth but shook his head like he was amused. "You're such a princess."

The thumping got worse. You both looked up at the same time, even though neither could see anything through the ceiling and then looked at each other in the eyes. You immediately knew you had the same thought.

"Together?" you offered.

"Yeah, let's go together."

Your hand slipped into his. or perhaps he was the one who sought it, as you slowly walked toward the staircase. Taehyung was one step ahead, checking the way as you followed, and you kept looking back, checking the way you left behind you. Your hands always linked.

"It's probably just the wind," Taehyung murmured when you had reached the first floor, but the rooms didn't look out of the ordinary. Then, a sharp bang came from right over your head.

"The attic!" you exclaimed. You saw Taehyung looking at the extra set of stairs leading further up and sigh, clearly not having the slightest desire to go up there. You couldn't blame him.

"Hello?" Taehyung shouted at the stairs, and you're not sure if it would be worse to get a response or not. It was the latter.

"I told you there's no one here," you murmured to his ear as he slowly started walking up the steps, still having this need to be right. Even in times like these.

The further up you got, the colder it got, a chill running down your spine like a breeze had passed right through you. And your hold on the man got tighter, the force reciprocated right away. The sound of the rain got worse, too, as it was hitting the roof that was right above you. And it was almost deafening. The atmosphere was stranger than ever, and for a moment you thought you'd rather never find out what the noises were; you held onto Taehyung's green sweater and pulled him slightly back, ready to tell him to abort. To just take both him and yo back to safety; if the downstairs era could be classified as such. Save him, so he can save you; the dynamic that seemed to be most prominent in your relationship.

"Hold on," he then mumbled, his free hand holding the one that was pulling him back. "I think there is a window open."

"Tae," you whined, but he slipped between your fingers.

You didn't take another step, keeping one foot still on the staircase, while you watched the boy walk carefully down the small corridor and looking inside the empty rooms. Another bang, that was now easier to locate, came from one of the closed rooms around the middle, and Taehyung pointed at it, before opening the door.

"Ah," you heard him exhale and he walked in without a second thought. You just kept looking at the empty spot he had left down the hall with worry, still not knowing what was going on. "Amy, see, I told you," his voice came a little muffled from inside.

You finally moved closer, until you were able to look inside. Taehyung was closing up a window in a very similar way that he had done in your room the first night. Although this time the strong windstorm was drenching him. He only struggled a tiny bit until he had the lock secured and the current was cut off. He sighed once more, taking a look around the room.

"How did that open?" you asked, fidgeting.

Taehyung shrugged. "Probably same way yours did," he said as he bent down and picked up a lamp that was laying on the floor; probably the culprit of one of the loud bangs that had brought you two up here, along with the doors that must have been slamming and the window casements smacking the walls due to the wind.

"I still don't know why mine had opened like that," you said. It was true, the way it had been so stuck earlier, it all just seemed too suspicious to you. Although you had nothing to base your suspicions on. Taehyung chuckled and walked back to you, placing his palm on your back to guide you gently back.

"I'll tell you how. Old house means weak windows. And weak windows means it's easy for a strong wind to blow them open."

You glanced one last time over your shoulder as you started going down the stairs, just to make sure everything else seemed in order; and yes, the attic was still the same kind of creepy as always, but at least it was quiet. "That, or there are ghosts getting in and out through those windows," you grumbled. Big stretch, you knew that. You didn't actually believe that, or maybe you did a little bit. IT just was had crossed your mind at the moment, and just the fact that you were comfortable enough to blurt it out in front of Taehyung without fearing being judged spoke volumes.

He chuckled and rubbed your back. "Now, why would ghosts need to use the windows? Can they not just pass through the walls."

You threw your arms up in the air. "Oh, right! Great. If there are any ghosts here we won't even be able to tell."

The photographer stopped you then, outside your room, and he turned you to face him. "Hey, hey," he whispered in a reassuring manner, holding your face in both hands and looking in your eyes. "How about we made a nice, warm cup of tea and go sit by the fireplace, huh? Nothing can hurt us there, okay?"

You basked in the feeling of his eyes on yours in such a sweet and comforting way, in a protective character, even if there was no real danger or need. Perhaps that's what made his stance even better; he didn't tease you or mock you. Even if that would be exactly what you would expect from him. Maybe Taehyung wasn't all that you imagined he was. Maybe when he was acting like that, it was exactly that: acting. Because he, too, was tired of your accusations and was giving you the role you had painted for him. Tired or hurt. But in this more genuine and sincere moment where both of you had undeniably let your walls down and gotten close, he was behaving more subconsciously and unpretentiously.

"Okay," you said while giving him a tiny smile.

He leaned in and placed his velvety lips on your forehead. Then his thumb caressed over your cheekbone and he let you go, quickly taking your hand in his, however. "Okay, let's go."

If there was one thing certain about this house, it was that you were indeed safe in that sitting room. Or at least it felt that way. When you were sitting by the warm fire, listening to the heavy rain on the windows and the ticks of the grandfather clock, sipping that delicious mountain tea with honey and lemon, it felt like nothing else existed in this world but you, Taehyung, and that room. This time you weren’t sitting very far; had chosen to be as close as possible, perhaps for a sense of protection. You were both on the thick carpet with all the cushions in front of the fireplace, at first with just your feet touching, then eventually with your whole body pressed upon his and his fingers playing with your hair any time he took a break from working. Until you were both too tired to continue and decided to play some rounds of Beavers.

The rain had turned into a storm. It was completely dark outside save for the frequent flashes of lightning. Taehyung was beating you on the game yet again and the time that you were supposed to go back to your separate rooms was nearing. But every time you looked toward the exit, neither of you wanted to leave. Be it the fear of what lay behind that door, or simply your need of an excuse to stay close, it didn’t matter.

The lights went out suddenly to a crack of thunder. The fire was the only thing illuminating your faces as you looked at the man with wide eyes.

“Tae!” you cried out, messing up your card game in favor of jumping into his arms.

“It’s okay, Amy, it’s just the storm.” He kept saying that, but was it really? “I’ll go look for some candles to light.”

But you held him tighter as he tried to get up. “No! Don’t leave me.”

He looked down at you. “Baby, don’t be scared.”

You just pouted at him, your arms snaking around his torso more. “Please, just stay here with me.”

He must have noticed the way you were slightly trembling because he gave up on trying to get away and held you. He stroked your back and your head as if you were some kind of puppy, only for a minute or two, before the lights were back on.

“Ah, see?” he exclaimed with relief in his voice that betrayed he wasn’t particularly fond of the darkness either. You peeked your head over his shoulder to see the room in its normal state. “It was nothing. It passed.”

“It may happen again, though,” you murmured, your hands pulling at his shirt still.

Taehyung chuckled. “So what are we going to do? Stay here all night?”

You bit your lip. You didn’t want to reply, or at least not truthfully, but for some reason, you didn’t find it in you to be distant anymore. “Is that a bad thing?” you said, your voice no louder than a whisper, and you would be fine whether he heard it or not.

You felt his chest rumble before his chuckle even reached your ears. “No, it’s not,” he managed to say between his laughs.

“Then why are you laughing at me?” you said sulking.

“It’s just funny how you go from wanting to be as far from me as possible, to not wanting to let me out of your sight go so fast.”

Of course. It wouldn’t be Kim Taehyung if he wasn’t boasting his charm and teasing you about it. You scoffed at him. “Just because being with you right now sounds like the better option, doesn’t mean that is always the case.”

“Uh-hm…” he mumbled and his smirk was obvious in his voice. His lowered until it was hidden in the crook of your neck, and his breath came hot from his mouth onto your skin. “And what do I have to do to know if you’ll have me or not each time?” he rasped. His voice against your neck caused goosebumps to form all over your body.

“Well-” you said and your voice cracked, “-I suppose I won’t be mad if you hang around while we’re here. You know, better chances of survival.”

You felt his smile grow as he pressed even closer to you. “That doesn’t go against your standards?”

You had to roll your eyes. Was he trying to get you to be with him, or remind you to stay away? No, he was probably just taunting you. He really loved doing that, didn’t he?

“We already said that whatever happens in this Manor doesn’t count, so…” you finally said, not thinking too much about your words, until Taehyung pulled away to look into your eyes.

“It doesn’t count, huh?” he repeated like he was trying to make sure he got that right. “Then you might as well go all out; do anything you want to do with no repercussions. Right?”

Your whole face caught on fire as he said those words. “Tae…” you began, and he waited patiently. “What do you mean?” You knew exactly what he meant. You were just asking that to buy yourself some time in order to figure out how you felt about it.

“Look,“ he whispered, licking his lips. “All I really want to know is… If I kissed you right now. Would you feel bad and regret it later? Or would you enjoy the moment like it won’t count once we go back to our everyday lives?” You gulped, and he was quick to add something before you had the chance to speak. “And by kissing you right now, I mean tonight and tomorrow and the day after, too. All while we’re trying to survive our stay in this Manor, instead of doing what would be easier and just leaving.”

You could see in his eyes the anticipation and wonder, perhaps even a little worry, as he searched yours awaiting for an answer. You bit your lip. At the moment you weren’t exactly suitable to think something like that through, but you didn’t have to, already having subconsciously decided the answer long ago.

“I didn’t regret kissing you last night,” you decided to admit instead of giving him a direct response.

But Taehyung knew exactly what that meant. The corner of his lips twitched before his hands held your face gently and he pulled you in for a kiss. It wasn’t sloppy and urgent like your previous ones. Instead, his lips fit in between yours slowly, and you got to feel just how soft and inviting they were. He deepened the kiss in a natural rhythm, yet still didn’t pick up the pace; solely let his hands wander further down, caressing your body over your clothes until they reached your hips. He pulled you closer and your lips broke apart just for a moment so that you could straddle him.

You could feel him harden beneath you as you were grinding on him to the tempo of your tongues. Your fingers through his hair, you enjoyed pulling them just slightly in order to listen to the moans he released from the back of his throat. The room seemed to be too hot all of a sudden, and you could barely tell if it was the fireplace or the photographer that was causing your skin to burn. It was so hot you needed to get out of that dress.

You pulled away and saw Taehyung pout, leaning in to go right back to tasting you, but you grabbed the hem of your dress, pulled it over your head, and threw it away. With just one motion like that, you found yourself in just your underwear, sitting on Taehyung’s lap. Lucky you had chosen the pretty ones today. The boy gulped as he paused to look at you up and down, his eyes eating you up with no shame.

“Your turn,” you told him, pulling at his sweater. He obeyed with no hesitation, the garment disposed on top of your own in mere seconds, revealing underneath the same view you had witnessed that morning. And so you had that skin-on-skin contact you craved. And you knew immediately it was him that was burning you up after all.

This time his mouth attacked your neck, sucking and biting, making you moan while his hands blindly made work of your bra. It took him a few tries to open it, which kind of surprised you but was rather endearing. And when that, too, was finally dropped on top of the pile of clothes, his mouth attacked your breasts. Your hands kept roaming down his pants- you needed to feel him as well. But he wouldn’t allow you any room to work; just kept kissing your body like he had forgotten you were there.

“Tae, please,” you chocked out at some point when he bit down your nipple a little too hard. “I need you.”

He finally pulled away, his eyes struggling to focus on your face like he was dizzy. He took a couple of deep breaths to stabilize himself. “Are you sure?”

You nodded. And then ground down on his fully hard member. The fabric of your panties was so thin it felt like you were naked against his jeans, able to feel just how big he must be. You heard a hiss leaving through his teeth before he pulled you slightly back in order to dip a hand between your bodies.

“Let me prep you,” he asked of you, but you shook your head.

“No, please, Tae,” you whined. “I want you. Now.”

It’s not that you hadn’t absolutely loved the way he had finger fucked you and eaten you out last night and you wouldn’t love to have more of that. It was the fact that he had still not even let you see his dick and the curiosity had been killing you for three years now. You could enjoy the rest of his qualities another time; right now you just needed his dick. Whether that was in your hands, in your mouth, or inside you, you didn’t even care.

As if Taehyung could read the desperation in your eyes, he mumbled an “okay, wait,” and got you off him to work on his pants better. But before he unbuttoned them, he slipped a hand in his pocket and pulled out what you soon realized was a couple of condoms, and gave them to you. “Hold these,” he said, instantly looking back down to undo his pants.

You blinked at the protection in your hands. You didn’t know what you expected but it wasn’t exactly that. “You just had these on you?” you questioned with an unamused tone.

Taehyung looked at you after he let his pants fall on the floor and stepped out of them. He had a smirk on that told you he knew exactly why you were vexed. Because he was carrying those around like he knew you would give in that easily. “Do you blame me?” he asked, challengingly.

“Stop!” you immediately whined, falling back on your heels. “You’re literally making me have second thoughts right now.”

“No, no!” Taehyung called out with a laugh, hurrying to grab your body before you fell completely down. “No seconds thoughts, there’re no good,” he tried telling you but you whined again, hiding your face away. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your distraught state while he tried to hug you and warm you up again. “I meant do you blame me when I am living in this house with a hottie like you! That’s what I meant. I would have fucked you anywhere and anytime you asked, so I had to be prepared, baby.”

You scoffed at him but were intrigued enough to look at him out of the corner of your eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“No, really,” he told you with a more serious face. “I’ve been carrying those around since the moment I realized we’d be staying here together.”

You frowned slightly, taken aback by his words. “What? Why?” You finally turned back to him, letting your back lie on the carpet completely and Taehyung hover over your body as he still held your arms tightly like he was afraid you’d try to escape.

You saw him gulp and shrug his shoulders. “I mean… I don’t know if you noticed, but I really liked you that night. And I won’t lie, I have been wanting to finish what we started.”

His words alone made your pussy clench around nothing. Finish what you started… You definitely could get behind that.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. “Well, go on then,” you whispered against his lips. “Do what you’ve been wanting to do to me.”

Taehyung growled. He kissed you again, more aggressively, while he grabbed your panties to discard them. He noticed just how wet you had gotten for him, but didn’t comment on it, instead taking one condom from you and ripping it with his teeth. Like everything that was going slow up until now suddenly needed to speed up. Like he had been able to wait for you for as long as you need all this time, but suddenly he couldn’t wait another second.

“Let me put it on you,” you offered. In reality, you just wanted the chance to look at him more closely, hold him in your hands, a chance you probably wouldn’t get considering how desperate Taehyung was looking.

He didn’t question or argue, simply pulled back, and finally dropped his briefs down. His dick sprung free, standing up tall and hitting his lower belly. You cursed under your breath. That dick was almost as pretty as that man’s face! How was that even possible; that everything about him was so perfect? It was long enough that it could cover both of your hands when you held it and thick enough for your fingers to just be able to wrap around it. Your mouth watered just at the sight.

But you weren’t about to say any of that out loud; Taehyung didn’t need that kind of boost of confidence from you right now. So you casually put the condom between your lips and lowered your mouth on his tip, pushing down until you had it at least halfway through on him. The rest you did with your hands.

He moaned when he felt your mouth around him. “Where did you learn that, princess?” he asked, not having expected that from you. You just replied with a guilty smile while you looked up at him from down there. Taehyung groaned once more, then pressed a hand on your neck as he pushed you to lie back down. “Hm, look at you,” he purred as he poised himself between your legs. “You keep talking like you’re so much better, but deep down you’re just a slut, aren’t you?” His words made you squirm, your legs almost pressing together if he hadn’t stopped them. With his one hand still on your neck and the other traveling down your chest, your stomach, and your crotch, he pressed two fingers on your to find your entrance. “Aren’t you?” he repeated while licking his lips. “Isn’t that why you’re naked right now, beneath me? Isn’t that why you are about to let me fuck you right now?”

A whimper was caught at the back of your throat when you felt the tip of his dick nudging at you. But Taehyung’s grip on your neck tightened, not too much to cut your airflow or hurt you, but enough to make your mouth drop.

“Answer me,” he demanded in a deep voice. You just nodded, not even sure you remembered what he had asked you. “You’re going to let me fuck this pussy right? Like I’ve always wanted to?” he asked and you nodded again, frantically. But that wasn’t enough for him. “Speak.”

“Yes.”

He smirked. “And who are you letting do this, princess? Say my name.”

“Taehyung. Taehyung, please…” your voice came out tiny and fragile. And he seemed to finally be appeased.

He released your neck in order to grab your hips with both hands as he guided himself inside you. He hadn’t even gotten halfway in and you were already fuller than you had ever been in your life. You scratched on his back as you let his name fall from your lips again and again, like a habit you had picked up last night. He made you wrapped your legs around his waist before pushing all in. His head was already hitting your cervix and he had barely even moved yet.

“Too- big-” you choked out before you could stop yourself.

Taehyung chuckled. “But you can take it, right baby? Do you need a moment?”

You shook your head, closing your eyes tight. “Move.”

And he did just that; thrusting in and out at a slow but hard pace at first, but quickly picking it up when it started feeling good and he couldn’t help himself. “Shit,” he moaned when he started found your g-spot; he could tell by the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you screamed suddenly.

“Right there,” you let him know. “Tae, right there. That feels so good.”

“Yeah?” he breathed in a low pitch. “How good?”

You growled in between your teeth. Even now he craved the satisfaction of you admitting how good he was at everything he did. “So good I hate it,” you answered truthfully.

Taehyung grunted, clearly happy with your answer by the way his hips faltered for a moment. He was thrusting in hard, trying to get the loudest moans he could out of you. And the sounds you were making, the way your face contorted in pleasure, your nails dug in his back and your legs caged him deep inside you- it was all driving him positively crazy. He dropped his head on your shoulder, thinking he could control himself better if he didn't see how hot you looked right then, and all because of him. But you took the opportunity to drive your teeth right on the soft skin of his neck.

“Oh, shit,” he panted while you were dining on his body like you were actively trying to mark him. Like you knew it was his absolute weakness. “I don’t know how long I will last, this is too good.” He regretted having to say that, always proud of how he normally could go for hours. But he meant it when he said it was too good; his chest was trembling from pleasure already and he could only hold back so much.

You moved your mouth higher, biting his earlobe and then kissing it softly, earning a loud groan from him. “Make me cum, please?” you whispered.

Taehyung stammered again but quickly regained his rhythm. “Aw, look at you,” he murmured, pulling back to watch your face again. “Such a good girl, asking politely and everything.” You almost turned away in embarrassment before he leaned down to kiss you leisurely, in contrast to his unceasing hits. “You want to come on my cock, baby?” he rumbled in your mouth. You nodded lazily. “Alright. But only if you remember to say thank you afterward.”

He kissed you again before he moved lower and wrapped his lips around one of your nipples. A hand sneaked down until he found your clit and he started rubbing circles on it. Your back immediately arched towards his body, being already topo sensitive for his touch. And he kept pressing hard on you, the way he had found out last night that you like the most, while he sucked your nipple for the double stimulation. You couldn’t see anything in front of you, and he kept going. You were screaming his name and punching his shoulders because the feeling was too much, and he still kept going. Until you released everything you were holding back and coated him with as much of your juices as your body could produce.

Taehyung didn’t slow down. He brought his face back in front of yours to kiss you, while you slowly felt your consciousness leave your body. Your limbs were exhausted and you couldn’t even hold onto him anymore, but he still kept fucking you, faster and stronger, chasing his own release.

“Thank you,” you remembered to whisper against his lips when you got down from the initial shock of your orgasm. And all of a sudden Taehyung was grunting and thrusting deep inside you, without coming out. You felt his cum even through the condom as his dick was pressed upon your cervix. It was those two words that had undone him.

He collapsed on top of you, puffing and huffing on your neck. And you thought how easy it would be for you to fall asleep just like that; with Taehyung’s naked body as a weighted blanket, by the dying fire, under the heavy storm, in a Mansion that you were starting to believe increasingly could be more than it appeared. How nice it felt, how there weren’t any negative emotions in your heart at all. You weren’t scared, you weren’t disappointed, you weren’t sorry or ashamed. You would do this again right now. Right now as in tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after that.

Next chapter

[sadclearance]

summer

pairing: suwa hiroto x male!reader x naruse kakeru from orange

summary: summer is here again.

category: fluff(?), angst(?), hurt/comfort(?) idk i suck at categorizing

warning(s): implied/referenced suicide

word count: 2013

key:

there's a flashback, but the start and end of it is signified with "*"

s/t - skin tone

summer is a time of warm sunny fun. the sky is clear, the air is hot--there's nothing stopping the group of old high school friends from gathering.

"do you think y/n's almost here?" naho asks, seeing as everyone from the group has finished with their brunch meals.

"if he is, he better have eaten beforehand. no way i'm staying any longer. i wanna get to the beach already!" azusa throws her head back exasperatedly.

"i'm sure he's on his way," saku says, voice steady but mind not confident in his own answer.

"y/n just texted me," hiroto sighs, and everyone already knows what it's about. and nobody's surprised.

"let me guess," azusa leans her face against her palm, "he's got another paper."

"yup," hiroto nods, revealing the screen of his phone to his friends.

"this is summer! who has papers during the summer?" azusa frowns.

"y/n always has papers during summers," saku notes. "maybe he's just working really hard."

"do you guys even know what he's studying?" hiroto asks.

"if you don't know, none of us would," takako says.

"what?"

"haven't you noticed?" azusa's eyes go wide. "are you dense?"

hiroto pouts, "that's not nice."

"y/n hasn't talked to any of us since high school," saku says.

"what? that can't be true. you're exaggerating," hiroto shakes his head.

"nope. not one text. not one reaction," azusa puts her pointer fingers together to create an 'x'.

"do you guys think he's holding up okay?" naho asks with a quiet voice. "i barely even saw him in high school after..."

and they all know what the next words were supposed to be.

but summer is a time for warm sunny fun, not a dark topic like this.

"let's go to the beach," azusa jumps from her seat and grabs her bag.

"yeah"s are heard throughout the group, and they all get up and follow her lead.

and the day is just the way it's supposed to be. the sun is bright, the air is hot, and the splashes of water that they playfully send each other's ways are cold.

"oh, you're so gonna get it!" azusa yells after saku dumps a bucket of water on her.

"hey! be careful," naho scolds. "you're gonna knock down my castle."

"sorry, sorry," azusa sends her a wink before going back to chase after saku.

it's fun like this. it's fun being with his high school friends. so fun that it makes hiroto miss high school.

but missing high school came with reminiscing memories of high school. memories that weren't always so fun.

and now hiroto feels like he can't move his fingers. his eyes can't focus on anything, and his view of the beautiful blue water is blurry. he wants to clear his mind, but he's trapped.

his heady is foggy, yet the past moments whizzing around inside his brain is painfully apparent.

*he doesn't feel the cool breeze of the ocean anymore. he feels the warm air of the blazing fire that was lit in y/n's tiny backyard. probably a fire hazard, but who could think about that when his best friends were smiling so big?

a black-haired boy that usually wears such a painful expression is now laughing heartily alongside the owner of the small place, letting his arms rest around his waist.

and warm s/t hands are pulling hiroto towards them.

"c'mon! join the party!"

there's so much laughter and warmth, even on the cold winter night.

hiroto thinks that it's the best night of his life.

the same hands that pulled him closer are now pointing at both sides of his cheeks.

the brunette and the raven laugh more before they decide to say "fuck it" and give into a little peck on the cheek.

but right before lips meet cheeks, y/n pulls his face away, and the lips are pressed against each other.

a cheery beautiful laugh resounds throughout the cold air as grey and brown eyes stare into each other, wide with realization.

when they pull away, hiroto expects kakeru's face to twist in disgust, but it doesn't. there's a small smile playing on his lips instead.

"your loss, y/n. kakeru's lips are sweet," hiroto playfully sticks out his tongue.

"then i guess i should get a taste for myself," y/n grins like a goof.

this view is so pretty and hiroto would never trade it for anything.

but then suddenly, kakeru's feet are off the ground, and y/n's body crumbles because kakeru is--*

"what--" hiroto gasps when cold water soaks him from head to toe.

"you were off in your own little dream world," takako says, putting the bucket down on the coarse sand.

"stop thinking so hard. that's never been a strong point for you," saku jokes before getting splashed by azusa.

"finally got you!" azusa celebrates, prancing around the low water in glee.

"you're on, takako!" hiroto says with a new burst of energy. he doesn't want to bring down the mood.

"it wasn't a challenge, but if you really wanna lose..." takako grins.

he's tired by the end of the day. takako was right. he lost.

"meet up at five for the festival tomorrow?" hiroto asks before parting ways.

"yup!" azusa nods aggressively.

"keep that up and you're gonna break your neck," saku flicks her head with his pointer finger.

"yeah," takako laughs.

"should we text y/n about tomorrow's plans?" naho asks hesitantly.

"i'll let him know," hiroto says after no one responds.

"you will?" naho asks with hopeful eyes.

"how could i ever say no to you?" hiroto ruffles her hair, trying to make the air less tense.

"don't be late tomorrow!" azusa yells at the group before going her own way.

the walk back to his house is quiet. he doesn't want to be alone right now. his mind is too much to handle alone, and he just wants something to distract him from these memories forever.

before he knows it, his feet have carried him to the l/n family house's door. the house that had been empty since y/n left for college.

he wonders if y/n's even there. probably not, considering how y/n's working on the paper for his project.

but he still needs time to work up the courage to ring the doorbell.

the simple task of lifting his finger and pressing the button takes some time and way more effort than it should, but he eventually gets it done.

"you in?" hiroto asks after a while. he knows his voice is weak, and that even if y/n was home, he wouldn't have been able to hear, but he can't find it in himself to raise his voice. his energy is suddenly drained, and he feels like he can barely keep himself up straight.

he leans against the door for support. "please."

he feels like a drunk, but he hasn't had anything to drink. it's pathetic and sad and ugly. all sides of him that he doesn't want to show anyone.

but he desperately wants to see y/n.

so, he continues.

"please, y/n. open the door," hiroto weakly knocks against the door.

he doesn't know how long he's been there, but he knows he needs to pick himself up and get to his own place.

before he leaves, holding the naive hope that y/n's on the other side of the door, he says, "we're gonna go to the festival tomorrow at five... it'd be nice if you came. i'll wait for you by the park that ka--..." this part is hard. he has to harshly swallow down the lump in his throat. "that we used to hang out at."

he couldn't keep his promise.

he had been waiting since four, but it was half-past five. he couldn't keep his friends waiting any longer.

"come on, hiroto," naho says with a painfully feigned smile. "it's okay."

"yeah," azusa tries to help. "we'll just catch him next time."

"we have all week to see him," saku eventually just grabs hiroto's arm and pulls him with them.

"okay, okay," hiroto forces out a laugh. "i can walk on my own. let's get a snack."

naho's as pretty in that kimono as she was back in high school, but hiroto can't find it in himself to be interested. he realizes that the things that used to excite him don't mean anything to him anymore.

it makes him feel hollow inside. will he feel like this when--if he sees y/n?

the thought haunts him for the rest of their time walking together, looking at what the different stalls and booths had to offer.

he doesn't remember when, but at some point, the sky had turned dark. he's sure the fireworks will start any time now.

"let's find a nice spot!" azusa says excitedly.

"you guys go ahead," hiroto says, pulling away from the group. "i need to go to the bathroom."

"hurry back! or you're gonna miss it!" naho says with a certain desperation in her voice, and hiroto knows it's because she can't afford to lose another friend.

"don't worry," hiroto reassures with a little smile. "i'll be back."

he knows it's silly, but he wants to go back to the park. it's stupid and illogical to even hope for y/n to be there because hiroto's not even sure if y/n was in the house when he said those desperate words.

but hiroto can't help but yearn.

he makes it to the park, and he sees a figure sitting on a bench--their bench.

it could be a random stranger that just happened to coincidentally sit there, or it could--

"y/n..." hiroto says softly when he gets close enough to confirm the identity of this person.

"hiroto..." y/n greets back. he's in casual clothes, nothing like what people normally wear to a festival. it's clear that this wasn't a thought out idea.

he hesitantly takes a seat next to y/n, leaving more space than necessary between them.

"i didn't know you were in town," hiroto says because as much as he's been longing for this moment, he doesn't know how to continue.

"then why did you come last night?" y/n doesn't look up.

"i..." how's he supposed to answer a question that he himself doesn't know the answer to? "i was hopeful."

the silence between them is unbearable, and hiroto wishes that seeing his high school best friend wasn't this awkward. it used to be so easy to talk to each other. why was it like this now?

"do you come back often?" hiroto asks.

"no. i've been too busy with stuff at school."

"you can't lie to me."

"then why ask?" it comes out harsher than y/n meant it to. "sorry..."

hiroto waits it out this time, and it works.

"i... i come back every summer," y/n lifts his head, but not to face hiroto's. his gaze passes the brunette and goes straight for the skies above.

there's tears building up in his eyes, and he tries to blink them away as fast as he can, but hiroto's already seen them.

he tries to think of his next words very carefully, but saku was right. thinking really hasn't ever been his strong point.

so he instinctively grabs y/n's shaking hand with his own and pulls him into an embrace.

"hey, y/n..." hiroto steadies his voice. "you're still reliving that summer alone, over and over again, aren't you?"

the only response he gets is trembling arms around his waist.

"as long as we live, summer will continue to come around..." hiroto tightens his embrace and hopes that his words are the right ones. "but the same summer will never come again."

"i miss him, hiroto," y/n chokes on a sob.

"i know. i miss him, too," hiroto buries his face in y/n's shoulder.

"and i missed you," y/n cries.

"i missed you more," hiroto whispers. "i love you."

he wonders if y/n could hear him over the loud popping of the fireworks.

but more than that, he wonders if this summer, they can finally start anew, as kakeru would want summer to be a time of warm sunny fun.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

messy half-vent fic. idek if it makes sense. inspired from a manga that i forgot the name of but it was this younger guy who was chasing after an older guy, and the older guy had a deceased boyfriend that died in a car crash in the summer.

[another-snape-story]

Quidditch Incident

Chapter XIX

Quidditch pitch came into sight as the trees thinned out into a wide field. The stands were full of cheering fans and their loud uproar reached you from afar. Neither you nor Snape had desire to merge into this excited buzz preferring the solitude you shared together, yet your feet inevitably led you to the epicenter of an event.

Not that you were a big Quidditch fan, but one couldn’t deny the whole atmosphere contributed to a gambling mood. Moreover, since Hogwarts provided not much entertainment, you found it really nice to change the setting and clear your mind – last days were quite tough.

The view opening from the height of tribunes induced an eye to roam freely over the hills and plains which spread far to the horizon building a landscape of all vivid colors. The brilliant greens, reds and yellows banished every dark thought. Cool wind blowing you in the face felt especially pleasant under warm rays of sun, and the man beside you added gayety to your spirits.

You watched final preparations being done anticipating the teams to appear on the pitch while Snape watched you. The fire of life he thought had gone out, flared up in his soul anew. Your kind attitude reminded him he was a human – with simple human desires and aspirations. Could he be blamed for striving for at least one fleeting touch of warmth? Ironically, after admitting he seemed to have found someone he’s been longing to come into his life for so long, he felt astray like never before. Snape didn’t know how things with the Dark Lord might turn out. Involving you into this dangerous game never came along with his plans.

“Here they are!” your cheerful voice pulled the man out of despairing reflections. In a blink, players soared up in the air looping around the pitch and greeting their fans and guests who arrived to attend the first Quidditch match in this season. “I hope we win!”

Bitterness which lied upon Snape’s heart melted away as he saw your eyes full of ingenuous delight. Although the score was the least of his concerns, he softly smiled in response. “Yes, I do hope so too.”

Once two captains shook hands, Madam Hooch’s whistle announced the game to begin, and four balls, freed from ties, blasted off at full tilt. Following the Quaffle going from one team to another, you also tried to keep an eye on Bludgers aimed to kick players off their brooms, shrinking every time iron spheres threatened to reach the goal. Quidditch has never been a bore always offering a spectacular performance, but the only thing you hated about it was an extremely high risk of injuries.

Slytherin scored another ten points, and the half of stands packed with swarm of green colors exulted in triumphant elation. Engulfed in overall excitement, you grinned happily until you noticed Harry Potter struggling to tame his Nimbus Two Thousand which seemed to have gone wild jolting and swishing and… bucking him off? Your heart sank.

“Severus,” you nervously seized his hand, “something’s wrong with Potter’s broom!” Eyes widened in terror, you looked up at the man, but he already was aware of the trouble.  

“I know,” he answered briefly, a mixture of confusion and determination on his face. Close attention directed at the boy, Snape traced his every move with an intent stare. You heard him muttering unknown magic formulas, presumably, inventing some on the spot and hoping to find the one which might help. Afraid to interfere, you pulled out your wand, ready to cast any spell needed to at least slow down the fall. Your glance darted rapidly from Snape to Potter checking whether Harry was still holding on to his broomstick and whether Severus still had things under control – if a term ‘control’ was relevant in these circumstances at all. Worse luck, as a mockery of someone who initiated this wicked show, Snape’s coat caught fire for some inexplicable reason.

“Fire! You’re on fire!” screamed a voice from behind your back.

While Snape got distracted by extinguishing the flame, you discovered that Potter’s broom suddenly calmed down, and the boy could fly safely again.

“Are you okay? What was that?” you worriedly examined the man from head to toe, making sure he wasn’t harmed.

“No idea,” Snape replied absentmindedly, his eyes chaotically running over the place.

By chance, you caught a glimpse of Professor Quirrell adjusting his stupid turban that started annoying you lately. To your surprise, the man seemed to appear in different light for a moment – his face conveyed stern, unrelenting emphasis so untypical of him, which didn’t last long, however, and transformed into his usual pitiful expression as he looked around. You found it curious.

Meanwhile Potter caught the Snitch and brought Gryffindor one hundred and fifty points. This meant your team lost the game, but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered except for his strange incident.

“We better go now,” a soft touch on the small of your back awoke you from perplexed stupor, and a tall black figure drew you along through the crowd, down the stairs, away from the pitch.

“Do you believe it might be Dark Magic?” uncertainly, you shared your assumption once the road seemed deserted enough.

“Absolutely,” Snape affirmed grimly, furrowing deep in his thought. “To perform sorcery so strong and resistant, one should possess an extraordinary proficiency.”

“The Dark Lord?”

“Yes, I suppose.”

You fell silent for a moment pondering how to handle situation like this. Rumors about return of Him-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named were getting real. You didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

“What do we do now?” you questioned helplessly.

“Wait,” Snape stated firmly. “We can only wait.”

You’d never stop admiring this man, so strong, so powerful he was, and so brave. Resolute glance of black eyes with no shadow of fear demonstrated his readiness to face whatever was coming.

“Be careful, Severus…” you begged, realizing he put himself in danger trying to counteract evil charms. “He knows you’ve ruined his plans.”

Snape’s lips formed a gentle smile. An alien until recent time, yet so pleasant feeling took over him erasing disturbing apprehensions – the way his heart responded your little grain of care made him forget about all of his troubles for a split second.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured quietly.

Dealing with the Dark Lord wasn’t new for him. What bothered Snape more – how the things would unfold; he had to foresee every possible scenario beforehand to be able to protect the school, Potter – damn his guts! – and… you... He wouldn’t let a hair fall from your head, even if it costed him life.

Unwilling to return into the castle, you dragged your feet after Severus, wishing you could stay outside – with him – a little longer.

“Do we need to go straight back?” you gave Snape a pleading look which he couldn’t resist.

“I was actually going to have a word with Headmaster,” he admitted, and this was enough for you to get the hint.

“Oh, sure,” you apologized scolding yourself for being too importunate. “Never mind. Of course, the matter is pressing…”

“But!” Snape had to slightly raise his voice to stop your mindflow and continued in his usual measured tone once he had your attention. “But he must be celebrating the victory at the moment, so – I guess – we could take some air.”

You beamed happily in response to his sly smirk.

“However,” Snape portrayed a pointedly serious expression, “I’m afraid we can’t go further until you’re freezing up.” Indeed, it was getting colder each day and – despite your red cheeks and ears – you refused to take a notice – whatever the weather outside, inwardly you’ve always felt warm and sunny when you had this man beside.

Before you could utter a word, Snape pulled his scarf off just to carefully wrap it around your neck. The fabric still carried his warmth sufficient to melt your heart. Smiling gratefully, with all sincerity, you grabbed long ends and rose them to your face snuggling into the softness of woolen textile. A slight scent of potion fumes stuck in knitted loops reached your nostrils – enthralling, intoxicating. You closed your eyes for a moment enjoying the pleasure of a new wondrous sensation. Although he surely could use a simple warming charm, a gesture he chose instead played so touching and emotionally rewarding.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“Just don’t tell anyone. I have reputation, you know,” he said sternly and you giggled.

“I’m not going to share your scarf with someone else! It’s too soft and cozy.”

A small smile emerged in the corner of Snape’s mouth.

“You may keep it.”

<<< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >>>

Tag: @diaryofafan17 @yul-is-sparkling @fullmoonshadowwrites @forthehonourof @amywright @redrehab @space-helen @fluffymadamina nadiigh @theworldisugly-22 @lukaerith-morningstar @sighsinkhuzdul @67-chevy-baby @rustypotatospork @aquila-leo @dandyrua @majusketch @sevyythebeanqueen @writingmi @s00nhi @pinkininja @shizuethedragon @chocolattefrog awkwardaxelotl @bionic-otp @samnblack @sailorstupidsblog @purpledragonturtles @xwaterproofx @lokistann @psycho-howell @planetmystery @lovelyravenkite @taschaschwarz @grimrapper11 @xpissbabyx @lullabylike green-forest-dreams brujaporfavor @severuslovebot moonflower81 

[hongsside]

REGRETTED :: C.SAN

pairing :: fem reader  ✘ san

wc :: 1.1k

genre :: angst • suggestive

tags :: mini fic, oneshot, angst, breakup, fem reader, regret

author’s note :: i got the idea while reading @ poutybinz ‘s hcs on soobin’s size kink but idk how the hoodie concept came in or how i got the idea of a breakup from soobin size ink hcs??? but yk here’s san??? :D <3

-------

(o´ω`o)ﾉ⌒･*:.｡. .｡.:･゜ﾟ･ ❝ ˡᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵍᵒ~ᵎ ❞ -------

it had only been around noon when i felt as if i could no longer swallow the cowardice hiding inside my body, it had felt like way to long since this was necessary. were we really going to...

‘no!- no..’ i sighed as i thought internally, will i ever get the guts to tell him what i truly want? suddenly i felt as if my feet were walking on their own, waltzing with hesitance in front of san’s figure. he had been distracted by the television before him but as i peeled his hoodie off of my now shivering body all eyes were on me.

it felt like an eternity taking off this sole piece of clothing, not mention oddly suggestive. i continued to run the dialogue of what i might say over and over again, reluctant of what would spill from my chapped lips soon after.

san let out a devilish giggle catching me off guard as my shirt slipped up about an inch from before along with the hoodie.

it felt like running through a maze with a beast; unsure of where the next right turn was gonna be. my head was spinning and i fumbled with the hoodie, folding it nicely before meeting san’s blazing gaze. the tall man stood to his full height, towering over me with dark eyes and a cheeky smile. he wrapped and arm around my waist before pulling me into a deep embrace, savoring the scent lingering around my neck. my world had crashed the moment he laid his head on my shoulder, tightening his grip on my hips before i pushed him away with hesitance.

i couldn’t tell him, i couldn’t possibly do it. the way his eyes stared at me with determination and persistence, it felt like he was burning holes of guilt into my skin. that was until, i pulled away. his cat like gaze followed me intently, preventing me from spitting all the words i wanted to say.

“doll, what’s wrong?”, san said with a worried look, expression changing drastically from before.

“san, please don’t call me that..”

“babe- why? are you okay? is everything fin-?”

“san..i think we should break up.”, i finally spit out, leaving a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

“but- but why? i thought you wanted to- fuck!”, he managed to pull together with an empty tone. denial laced his voice, unable to process my previous statement.

“i don’t understand y/n...why?”

“bab- san, i don’t now-”

“why do you not know?! were you always just lying?-”

“san! i don’t fucking love you anymore, i’m sorry!”

the atmosphere was still and my head was spinning, the words that left my mouth felt like a crime. to this day if i could build a time a machine to go back and fix all my mistakes, simply, i would. this would be one of those mistakes. i couldn’t bring myself to look at him, and when i did, i met his glossy eyes. all the joy and life from his face had been completely drained, the color from his eyes felt to have disappeared and i was the culprit behind it.

could i have been anymore stupid? why did i have to say it like that?

not only his but my world fell apart too, we were the completion to each other but my sole stupidity and selfishness impeded me from remembering that and clearly he wanted me to realize it too.

feeling the pressure get to me, i handed him his hoodie with reluctance as i picked up my things from around the room before making my way to the door. just i reached to turn the nob my hand was grabbed by a crying san, his face was drenched in tears and he never looked more hurt than this.

once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. san bent forward where i stood before the door, and began begging for a chance to fix everything-- to receive a second chance. It was painful to see him like this, all I could do was look away in hopes to mask my regret, yet my own tears were starting to soak my cheeks. i could feel his grip on my wrist tightening, finding himself unable to let go, not knowing whether to be mad or to give up hope all together. he could hear my silent cries as my head continued to scream to let him go yet, i couldn't. i couldn't bring myself to look at him in this state, knowing i would only suffer more in the silent battle between us.

“san, i have to go..”, i finally choked out watching as his sparkling eyes stared at me in hopes of this all being a bad dream.

“you don’t h-have to, y/n..”

i nodded slowly, studying his trembling figure; acknowledging the hurt washed over his face.

“can- can i please get one last hug...”

“a kiss..”, he continued before trailing off, accepting his defeat.

“sannie..”, i said fondly, smiling through the tears, remembering that the weather is only sunny when we are under it, and it wouldn’t hurt to be under it one last time. i turned on my heel before meeting him face to face, inches away from his face...i’d never noticed how beautiful his eyes were until then, how rosy his cheeks got at these times, just how beautiful he was-- and i was willing to throw it all away. his lips were so alluring and soft, i felt a sequence tingle run down my spine as i recalled the way we used to kiss. then suddenly my nose touched his and his lips touched mine.

the kiss wasn’t rough, it was rather soft and passionate; so passionate that a spark hit my heart and i felt the tears blur my view once again. yet, before i knew it, it was already over...the feeling of emptiness rushed through my body as i felt all his warmth depart from me, his swollen face was all i could feel as i reluctantly let go.

it was one of us that had to rush into the hug, and it felt like it must be me. yet, almost as if on cue our bodies melted into each other’s and the warm spark once there dispersed all throughout us one last time.

“i love you angel, don’t forget that.”, san whispered with a head on my shoulder as he squeezed me softly, sharing a sense comfort with me i’ve never felt before.

“i love you too sannie.”

“even if you leave, i still love you.”

and with those last meaningless words, i had closed the door as i stared off into the distance with nothing left. only the feeling of emptiness and regret.

end of story

all works by hongsside

edit:: please leave some feedback, maybe???  - author misty <3

[hpdrizzle]

Below is the list of all the fic for 2020 drizzle fest! Thanks for all your support - reveals will be posted on 10th October, Saturday. 

FEMSLASH Title: Time After Time Pairing: Ginny/Luna Summary: A few weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts, Luna buys an ice cream truck. Title: sugarcane in the easy morning Pairing: Ginny/Pansy Summary: “I mean, it’s not like there’s anything special about Ross,” Pansy continues. “Why do the most beautiful and powerful women go for the most painfully average men?” Title: Under Adverse Conditions Pairing: Ginny/Pansy Summary: With most of the castle away at Hogsmeade, Ginny and Pansy use the time to fly together. Title: Asbhury Manor Pairing: Millicent/Hermione Summary: Millicent farms the land on her manor. She enjoys the work and the weather, but she is lonely. Enter Hermione Granger.

There are many more awesome fics under the cut! 

GEN / MULTIPLE PAIRINGS Title: You Don’t Know [how you betrayed me] Pairing: Voldemort. Tom Riddle Sr. [GEN] Summary: Tom Marvolo Riddle meets his father on a cold and wintry night. He never meant for things to unfold the way that they do but there had been something inside him that wanted to investigate where he came from. Title: Thunder & Lightning Pairing: Hermione Granger/Fabian Prewett/Gideon Prewett Summary: A thunderstorm and a little bit of magic bring Hermione a pair of unexpected guests. Title: Getting some Vitamin D Characters/Pairings: Hermione/Adrian/Marcus Summary: Hermione takes advantage of the warm, Caribbean sun.

SLASH Title: Storms of Stars and Scars Pairing: Remus/Sirius Summary: Seven storms over seven years of Hogwarts tell the story of how Remus and Sirius fell in love. Title: Come In From The Cold Characters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius Summary: The first Hogsmeade weekend of the Marauders’ sixth year. Alternatively: In which Sirius frets and works to keep Remus warm, James argues it’s not that cold, Remus wishes the cold brought something more, and Peter just wishes everyone would get their heads out of their asses. Title: Hourglass Characters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius Summary: Sirius encounters a boy who got mugged. He offers to give him a ride home. Title: time, curious time Pairing: Remus/Sirius Summary: “Do you still remember how it started?” he asks. “How could I forget?” you ask back. Title: Riverbank Pairing: Remus/Sirius Summary: While looking for an escape from his broken family, Sirius finds the riverbank. And a boy with pink hair. Title: A Summertime Thunderstorm Pairing: Remus/Sirius Summary: Summers in Wales were ideal. Sunny, windy, warm without being sweltering… and the perfect time for Remus and Sirius to explore the feelings they’ve been dancing around for the better part of a year. Title: Freedom They Can Reach Pairing: Remus/Sirius Summary: Under rising thunderclouds in late July 1980, Remus and Sirius take a different road towards home or freedom. Title: That Summer was Good to Us Pairing: Remus/Sirius Summary: Summers in Wales were ideal. Sunny, windy, warm without being sweltering… and the perfect time for Remus and Sirius to explore the feelings they’ve been dancing around for the better part of a year. Title: Eye of the Storm Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: A storm rages blindly around a cabin with no doors. Without magic, Draco and Harry are trapped inside. Title: The cold never bothers me anyway Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: It takes Harry one pointless mission to the Arctic, three falls into the snow, a few lines from Let It Go, and thousands of floating ice crystals to realize just how beautiful Draco Malfoy is. Title: Brighter Than The Sun Characters/Pairings: Draco/Harry Summary: Draco was promised a relaxing day at the beach. This was certainly not it! Title: Winter has called you [and me] Characters/Pairings: Draco/Harry Summary: Draco decided to visit his aunt in the countryside to be a little bit away from the city. While going back, he didn’t notice a snow storm was coming, trapping him in the snow a few cities away from his aunt’s house. He didn’t expect a handsome man to save him. He also didn’t expect Harry to be his soulmate. Title: A Fault In The Weather Characters/Pairings: Draco/Harry Summary: Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes have brought out a new item: a Portable Swamp. As one of their most trusted amateur prototype testers, Harry is ecstatic to get this latest object. The only problem is that it…doesn’t seem to work. It’s generating storm clouds that sweep through the Hogwarts corridors, and showering the students with rain, hail, and snow. The storms are getting stronger, but Charms Professor Malfoy and DADA Professor Potter are on the case. Title: Key to my heart Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Harry Potter gets locked out in the rain. He goes to his neighbour Draco Malfoy for help. Title: (You’ve Gotta) Taste The Rain Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Harry can’t take the rat race anymore and quits Auror training just before graduation. He hopes a move to the country will bring him what he’s looking for. He doesn’t factor in a wandering neighbour who turns out to be very familiar. As the rain continues to pour, things get heated. Title: The Locus of the Fracas Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Harry is assigned community payback, and it’s all Malfoy’s fault. Title: Only Happy When It Rains Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Weather-Be’s, the up-and coming business of Draco Malfoy, guarantees* perfect weather for your event! If you need warm sunshine, Weather-Be’s will provide it. If you want atmospheric fog, we can make that happen. We have a 100%** success rate at giving you the weather you want. | *guarantee invalid if Harry Potter is in attendance | **success rate drops to 97% when Harry Potter’s attendance at events is counted. Title: Golden Daffodils’ Sea Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Harry returned to Grimmauld and curled alone in Sirius’ bed, the night weighted on him and he choked with fear. A crack inside him had the shape and sound of their portkey disappearing. He didn’t sleep that night, Fred’s funeral fresh in his mind too. The guilt at his lack of tears or emotions the previous day overwhelmed him and kept his eyes opened so he could feel how undeserving of the Weasley’s love he was. The months after the Battle of Hogwarts are sunny and beautiful, even though it feels like the sky should be falling around Harry. He tries to get through grief while fixing Hogwarts, capture some Death Eaters, return to his last year of school and befriend one Draco Malfoy. However, he’ll have to realize grief is not the only thing he has to fight now that he came back from death. Title: Let him be kind Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: A ghost is haunting the halls of Malfoy Manor, wailing at all hours of the day. Unfortunately for Draco, the only person to happily offer their ghost-be-gone services was none other than Harry Potter. Title: Forever In My Mind (Be My Golden Sunshine) Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Harry Potter flees London and a broken engagement. He finds solace in the vineyards of Châteaux Malfoy and finds a love that he could never have expected. Title: No Rules in a Breakable Heaven Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: When a magical rainstorm reveals everyone’s deepest desires, Harry learns far more about his friends and colleagues than he ever wanted to know. Worst of all, he suddenly has to face his own deepest desire. Title: What the body wants is coolness Pairing: Draco/Harry Summary: Draco and Harry have been seeing each other for months, and Harry decides the best way to tell their friends is to bring Draco to a group beach outing. Draco’s given up enumerating all the ways this plan could go wrong. Title: Comfort In The Storm Pairing: Harry & Ron Summary: “Storms are even scarier outside of the cupboard. Title: I will answer thy prayers (if thou wouldst drink of my life) Pairing: Voldemort/Harry Summary: Instead of duelling Harry in the graveyard, Voldemort kisses him instead. Title: The summer of 1899 Pairing: Albus/Gellert Summary: The cicadas are humming on that humid summer day when Albus meets Gellert for the first time. What follows is an intense, passionate affair that lasts for one perfect summer. Title: Kick In Characters/Pairings: Severus/Sirius Summary: Severus loves his husband, he really does. Even if his obsessions with nudity and rain drive him crazy sometimes. Title: Unexpected Companion Characters/Pairings: Harry/Theo Summary: While picking up a birthday cake for Hermione in Knockturn Alley, an unexpected rainstorm causes Harry to take shelter where he finds himself bumping into someone he hasn’t seen in quite a while. Title: A Loss of Control Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Hugo Weasley Summary: Bored at yet another Ministry charity event, Hugo goes for a wander and finds himself with someone he never expected to. Title: heartbreak was never so loud Pairing: Marcus/Oliver Summary: Oliver starts out wanting to help Flint fit into the team. Somewhere along the way, he loses his heart to the large, surly Beater. Title: Searching For Comfort Pairing: Snape/Harry Summary: Severus was mostly there for the air-conditioning. He didn’t know it would change his life! Title: What the rainbow never tells me Pairing: James Sirius/Teddy Lupin Summary: When James is challenged with an impossible task—to find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow—no one expects him to succeed. But what they don’t know is that James has a pretty good in with England’s premier Weather Wizard, Teddy Lupin. Title: His Reward Pairing: Snape/Draco Summary: All Draco wants for Christmas is protection. And snow. Title: Too Good To Be True Pairing: James/Regulus Summary: He couldn’t help but peruse James’ body as he answered his question. It was slowly distracting Regulus, but he couldn’t think about that now. HET Title: Funny Weather You’re Having Pairing: Zach/Luna Summary: Zach notices a strange weather pattern around Luna’s house, and decides to investigate. Title: Windy and Windy Roads Pairing: Ron/Hermione Summary: After a shopping trip in Flourish and Blotts, the wind decides to kidnap Ron’s hat. If only the wind knew what that hat meant to the Granger-Weasleys. If it did, the wind would likely have left it well enough alone. Title: Sitting in the Rain Pairing: Luna/Rolf Summary: Luna is sitting in her garden out in the rain and Harry decides to go out and join her. Title: Storming Love Characters/Pairings: Harry/Daphne Summary: Harry never expected to wake up to a rainstorm in his bedroom without a hole in the roof. Can an owl to Theo break the storm that seems to be following him? Title: Brighter Than The Sun Characters/Pairings: Pansy/Ron Summary: Ron Weasley has found the love of his life. All he needs to do is get the asking right and he’s sure Pansy Parkinson will agree to tie their lives together… if only the weather would cooperate. Title: Weathering The Storm Pairing: Ginny/Blaise Summary: Ginny’s invitation to her first quidditch match as a Harpie has Blaise a bit nervous. The storm brewing in the sky is almost as strong as the storm brewing in his heart. Can they both survive the match and its aftermath? Title: I want to feel the thunder (I want to scream) Pairing: George/Luna Summary: Sometimes things don’t need to be said, but they’re nice to hear anyway (especially when it stops your boyfriend from turning into a frog every time it rains). Title: How It Falls Pairing: Ron/Pansy Summary: Pansy Parkinson wants to live life her own way, but her mother has other ideas—specifically, she wants her to marry a certain type of wizard. Title: Corazón De Mi Alma Pairing: Harry/Hermione Summary: Harry and Hermione travel to Mexico for the repatriation of a cursed Mayan artifact. Title: Pathetic Fallacy Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: ‘I have an idea,’ he said quietly, ‘but I don’t think you’re going to like it.’ Title: Suddenly this rain, This defeat Characters/Pairings: Hermione/Draco Summary: A weeks long storm of mysterious origins brings more than just a headache for Hermione Granger. It also brings Draco Malfoy back into her life and her heart in a way she never expected. Title: Anchors In A Storm Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: Draco’s current mistake—well, it wasn’t simply one, but three—was a chain of seemingly unconnected events that, when spliced together just so, made one hell of a shit storm. Title: Queen of my heart (long may she rain) Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: Draco likes Granger./Granger likes books./This could be useful. Title: Make it Rain Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: It is raining the first time Draco Malfoy kisses Hermione Granger. Or more accurately, the first time she kisses him. Title: though she be but little Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: He wasn’t Shakespeare, painting pictures with his quill tip; just a boy with a festering mark on his arm and a storm in his head. Title: Shifting Sands Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: Hermione notices a discrepancy during an audit. Draco tries to convince her that nothing is amiss. Lightning strikes at least once. Title: Flaming Tears Pairing: Hermione/Draco Summary: He set fire to the rain and watched it pour as it touched her face.

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

In Her Arms | Ahsoka Tano x Fem!Reader | Star Wars

Notes: Lol I said only 1k per request but well... I got too invested xD I hope this is somewhat what you wanted :) Their relationship is rather platonic here, although it is implied both Ahsoka and the Reader are in love with each other, I hope that’s fine too.

Fandoms: Star Wars, The Clone Wars

Warnings: Slight Self-Consciousness, Angst, Mention of Death, Slight OOC, Fluff

Summary: Y/N has a hard time dealing with the war and the problems that come with it, but Ahsoka, with whom she had a fall-out, approaches her and helps. 

Word Count: 2′334

Taglist: @jessigurl-design

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Being a Jedi was hard. Being 17 was hard too. 

Especially in times of war, where one saw more death and blood than a person should ever see. 

But she knew nothing else. 

Her padawan training began with the war, although that wasn't something she had liked. And she struggled because of it. 

Y/N couldn't handle the cries of her injured friends, the blood-curling screams when someone got shot, the stern and lifeless look in the eyes of the clones when they knew they had lost that one fight. 

Y/N struggled. 

And the worst part of it all was that her friends, who also went through the same horrible things, seemingly did not as much as she did. Of course, she wouldn't want anyone to go through the recurring nightmares, insomnia, and the exhausting days she had to experience in the last few weeks. 

But the fact that she seemed to be the only one who had such troubles adapting to life in war made her feel somewhat broken. 

She needed to be fixed. 

But her insecurities did not let her seek out the help she needed. 

Master is busy with the clones and battle strategies. The council... She doubted that the council would bother with her little anxiety attack. And her friends, especially a certain Togruta... She couldn't tell them either. After all, they were not that close anymore. 

The times of giggles, pranks, and late-night ghost stories were over. 

They would also not understand, because they were able to function well on the battlefield, unlike her. 

How many times did she drop her lightsaber in the middle of a battle already?! 

A loud groan escaped her lips, and she closed the datapad and leaned back in her seat. She ran her hands over her face and sighed. 

Once again, could she not find a better method to meditate. The archives were as vast as the sea on Kamino, but in her desperate times, there seemed to be no book that could help her. 

Y/N removed her card from the computer and then stood up. White dots swirled over her vision for a moment, her head felt dizzy, and she froze. What was that? She clenched her jaw. 

No, I'm fine. She told herself. 

But it was a lie. And she wasn't the only one who knew it.

-

"Why do I always have to do the things you don't want to do?"

"Because you are my padawan."

Anakin's laughing face made her scowl, but she wasn't that bothered with him sending her to the Archives of the temple. Mainly because she was able to see a dear friend of hers that she hadn't seen in a long time. 

In the last few days of research, Ahsoka had caught glimpses of Y/N, with whom she had shared a room and sometimes even a bed when she was part of the Clawmouse Clan. 

The girl was only slightly older than her, and they had been best friends when they had learned everything a youngling needed to know. 

Them becoming padawans changed their relationship, though, and they saw each other less and less. 

Ahsoka didn't really know why because they never addressed it, but she was sure it had something to do with her being Anakin's, The Chosen One's padawan. And the war obviously. 

Y/N's Master was also a Jedi Guardian, like Anakin himself, and they both fought at the frontlines of the war. 

When Ahsoka first heard about it, she was concerned about her friend's safety. 

Y/N L/N was never a person who she saw fighting against droids. 

Y/N was heartwarming, a little shy and quirky, but kind and more selfless than anyone she had ever met. Her place was not between dying clones and short-circuiting droids. 

Ahsoka had always believed that her dear friend would choose the route of becoming a Jedi Consular, a Healer, to be exact. Her gentleness and sunny attitude had seemed perfect for that path. But the war probably thwarted her plans. 

She wasn't sure, but she could imagine that the pressure of her peers accepting the guidance of a Jedi Guardian made her do the same, not that she thought Y/N's Master had been a bad choice. He was just a little too stern, a little too demanding, in her opinion. 

But what right did she have to say something? 

They were not that close anymore, and that fact hurt Ahsoka more than all the pain she had gone through during her time as a soldier.

"Hey, hey, if you really don't want to go, I'll take care of it. No need to make such a face, Snips." 

She snapped out of her thoughts, and Anakin observed her with a slightly guilty expression. 

"No, it's fine. Gonna go now, bye." 

Before her Master could say anything else, she already left the room. 

-

She arrived a few minutes later in the Archives, greeted Jocasta Nu, and then let her eyes roam across the giant halls. 

A familiar force presence flickered in the back, and Ahsoka determinedly walked over there. But with every step she took, her confidence faltered a little. 

We haven't talked in a while, what am I even going to tell her? "Hey Y/N, I miss you greatly and would love to talk about our time as younglings and maybe sleep in the same bed again and caress your hair", yeah of course. 

She abruptly stopped when another thought crossed her mind, and a blush swept across her face. 

Stop it! 

She shook her head to concentrate when she suddenly felt a wave of dread coming from the corner where her friend stayed. 

It hit Ahsoka like a brick, and her embarrassing thoughts stopped immediately. 

What...? 

Worry bubbled in her chest, the Togruta slowly walked closer to Y/N's location, and when she glanced around a shelf, she saw the girl hunched over a datapad. 

Ahsoka was momentarily distracted by the unkempt hair when Y/N groaned. 

It wasn't a "shit-I-don't-want-to-do-this"-groan, it was more like "I'm-exhausted-to-death"-one. 

She contemplated whether to step out of her hiding place and address the girl when she sighed again and then stood up. 

Ahsoka only watched as Y/N suddenly tensed and froze. Her breath shook, and the Togruta could see her shake hands before they clenched to fists and her friend hurried out of the library. 

Ahsoka stood unmoving behind the shelf, her eyes blinking slowly, her breath taken from the alarming anxiety in Y/N's force presence. 

She needed to research for their next planetary mission in the Outer Rim but when she caught a glimpse of the storm brooding in her beloved friend's mind, she could not disregard it. 

She followed the girl, her feet driven by her worries.

-

"Y/N?"

A soft knock on her door made the girl jump. What..? 

"Ahsoka?" 

Her voice clearly showed her surprise. 

The Togruta's response sounded a little awkward, but she ignored it, too busy calming her pounding heart. 

"Y-Yeah... Do you - uhh, have a moment to talk?" 

Talk? Talk about what? Does she... Has she realized..?! 

Panic emerged and clawed at her mind, it momentarily distracted her, and before she could even answer, her hand had already pressed the button to open the door to her room. 

She came face to face with Ahsoka, her former best friend now slightly taller than her in height. 

Y/N rubbed her eyes tiredly. Maybe, the Togruta before her was just her imagination? 

But the force presence of her friend was wrapping itself around her. 

Ahsoka looked formidable with her new robes. They complimented her skin tone and the blue of her montrals. 

Y/N forced herself to look Ahsoka in the eyes and smile, although it felt fake and probably also looked unnatural. 

"Hi", she greeted her weakly. 

"Can I come in?" 

They acted very awkwardly as if they hadn't bathed together before and talked about the cutest younglings in their classes. But how could they not? Their friendship had changed. 

Instead of answering, Y/N backed out off the door frame, and Ahsoka entered her room. 

She closed the door and then watched anxiously as the Togruta's eyes scanned everything as if to take a holographic photo. 

She realized that she once again hadn't made the bed, because she had been too tired to do it, and it had seemed like a bother. Then there were the various books about meditating. They stacked next to her cot and towered over her nightstand. 

Her spare clothes laid scattered across the floor, and the robe from last week still hadn't been washed. The brown bloodstains looked unsightly on the beige robe. 

She sighed inwardly. That's not how she wanted to present herself especially not to Ahso - a hand suddenly grabbed hers. When Y/N looked up, her eyes meet blue. 

"Were you hurt? Did you get injured?!" 

She blinked. 

"Wha-What?" 

Ahsoka's face was suddenly way too close to hers, and she breathed in shakily. The Togruta's eyes were unwavering.

"There's blood on your robes." 

Oh. She saw them. 

Her mouth was too dry for her to speak, so she only shook her head. 

No, she wasn't injured, that blood belonged to a clone. She was fine.

"But you are hurting." 

These words resounded way louder in her head than they were actually said. 

Ahsoka's tone was soft. It was neither a question nor an accusation. Only a statement. 

It was true. 

The fact that her friend, whom she had not seen in a long time, could guess her emotional state with just a glance shook her to her core. 

Silence reigned over them, her friend waited for her to speak, but she couldn't. 

Y/N breathed out slowly, and she freed herself from the Togrutas grip, her hands now holding herself as if she would break if she didn't. 

She gasped for air before she squeezed out from her lips: 

"I'm- I'm just so tired." 

Her eyes avoided Ahsoka's, and she faltered. 

Her knees suddenly felt too weak, she stumbled, but before she could fall, two warm hands grabbed her and brought her into Ahsoka's arms. 

Her whole weight was supported by the other girl, and they sank to the floor. 

Y/N was tense at first. When was the last time she had such close contact with anyone, especially Ahsoka? It must have been years. 

That thought, the warmth from the embrace of the Togruta, and her desperation caused her eyes to water. In a matter of seconds, tears rushed across her cheeks, and she soaked Ahsoka's shirt. 

A sob escaped her lips, and the other padawan pressed her closer to herself. 

"I got you, Y/N. You hear me? You're not alone." 

-

That her heart wasn't pounding loudly would be a lie. 

Such close physical contact with the person she liked caused butterflies to explode in her chest, but the Togruta ignored them, her concern for her friend too deep to abuse that moment of intimacy. 

She had a general idea of what Y/N meant with being tired. 

She knew how exhausting the war was, and also wanted it to finally come to an end. 

But for her it was different. She had Anakin and Obi-Wan as pillars. They were her emotional support, and she could always talk with them about her worries. 

It hurt Ahsoka to admit it, but it seemed like Y/N did not see her as that kind of support for her. 

She knew the girl was always kind to others, sometimes too kind, and too selfless. Maybe she believed that she would inconvenience others if she told them about her worries. 

Her grip tightened around the waist of her friend, and she bit her lips. 

Please no. 

Was she really that kind of a bad friend? How could she not notice? 

Guilt panged in her chest, and she ran her fingers through Y/N's hair. Her shirt got wetter and wetter, and with every teardrop, her determination grew. 

"Y/N?", she asked carefully. 

The girl in her arms shifted, and Y/N looked up at her, her eyes and cheeks red, clearly embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry", she croaked, Ahsoka wanted to hold her against her chest again, but she stopped herself and whispered: 

"You can tell me everything you know? I'm always here for you. You can take your time, but please don't shut me out. I want to know how you feel. I want you to be happy, okay?" 

Her voice slightly trembled when she said the last part and her eyes began to sting. 

The girl's eyes turned round and then, Ahsoka could watch it like slow-motion, the corner of her lips lifted, and she presented one of her signature smiles. Slightly weaker, slightly less happy, but still giving hope as always. 

"Okay. I'll... I'll tell you... But not right now. I'm... I feel like I’m able to sleep now. I had trouble doing it for a few weeks now, and I- I just get these nightmares and..." 

A worried expression swept across Y/N's face again and Ahsoka grabbed her cheeks. She stared at her with wide eyes. “You said tomorrow, right? It’ll be fine if we talk about it tomorrow. No need to stress now.” She smiled to reassure her. Ahsoka breathed out slowly and then muttered:

"If you want some emotional support...", her face burned when she said that, "should I stay with you?"

The padawan bit her lips and then nodded shyly. 

Ahsoka blessed the force, and they stood up together and moved to Y/N's bed. 

Her friend slipped under the covers, ignoring the fact that she still wore her outer robes and lifted the covers welcomingly for her. Ahsoka took her boots off and joined her. 

Two arms slung around her, and her heart sped up again when Y/N snuggled closer to her. 

She laid still for a while, tense, with a fast heartbeat, but with a small grin on her lips. 

"Y/N?" 

Maybe she could tell her friend one day. How much she liked her. So much that it would break her if the other was unhappy and suffering. Y/N’s happiness meant the world for her.

Instead of a response, she heard a soft snore coming from her chest, and Ahsoka smiled. 

If she could ease her friend's worries, she would gladly be a body pillow for the rest of her life. 

She pressed a light kiss on Y/N's hair. 

"May tomorrow be a better day for you, because I’ll help you." 

[cotncandyboifics]

1989 [High School AU]: Chapter 8

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 9 ~

Pairings: slight Logince, eventual Prinxiety & Logicality

Word count: 2,407

Story summary: Roman Prince is your stereotypical Jock, with everyone swooning after him. Every day a crowd of people follow him around, only to disperse at his personal whim. In reality, he's lucky to have such good acting skills that help him cover up the disdain he has for his life. He only wishes he could use his skills properly.

Patton Whitelock's always there to lend a helping hand, no matter who you are. If you need a favor or just need someone to talk to, go to him. In reality, he's been taught from a young age that kindness should be held above all else. No one suspects that he took it the wrong way.

Logan Montgomery is the smartest boy in the Senior class. He's stern, and most people are too intimidated to speak to him. In reality, he despises most all of his fellow students. He sticks to his studies and doesn't stray, for fear of being stuck in his father's shadow his whole life.

Virgil Black is the most emo kid in school, let alone 12th grade; everyone knows to leave him be. In reality, he's very fortunate. He has two parents who love him dearly. But everything beyond his life, everything within his mind, is utter chaos and turmoil.

what will happen when they're assigned a biology project together?

General CW: food, swearing, implied s-lf h-rm, non-graphic descriptions of s-lf h-rm scars, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, drug abuse, minor character intoxicated on heroin, non-graphic drug overdose description, sickness/description of sickness, blood, non-graphic descriptions of needles, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: food, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: alternate title: Virgil's very subtle epiphany. also Patton has a gay panic moment lol

...

Slam.

Monday morning. Mr. Berry was slapping a small poster on each student's desk like a stamp, one-by-one and painfully slowly.

"This," he began, "Is the official welcome to the schoolyear; audition posters for the Fall Talent Show." His bloated belly hardly fit between the desk rows, and students made futile attempts to scoot away from him before they were bombarded by his tyrannical tummy. "As a retired thespian and a life long supporter of theatre and the arts," he continued, bringing his pile of posters to his chest in his passion, "I highly recommend you at least consider looking into auditions. Everyone has a passion, or at least a hobby, and the talent show is a perfect freelance opportunity to show off your skills."

Roman rolled his eyes too dramatically. This was upsetting him more than he thought it would, and his eyes shot daggers up at his large superior as he slammed the next poster onto Roman's desk.

"Auditions will be held next week, on the specified dates. The show itself will be two weeks later, I believe on Friday night. Be there, and I will award you some extra credit points. All you must do is present me with your ticket, which must have your name on it," he eyed a few mischievous students in the room, "With a stamp on it from the Talent Show admissions booth, on the following Monday." As soon as Mr. Berry had given a poster to Virgil and moved on, Virgil quietly crumpled it and shoved it into a random part of his backpack, proceeding to fold his arms on his desk and put his head down. This caught Roman's attention, and his subconscious latched onto formulating a teasing remark for after class as a distraction from his own feelings about the Talent Show.

After class, the usual place where Roman and Virgil were shortly alone and had a short interaction - most often consisting of some insufferable tease from Roman or occasionally a debate spurred by Virgil making a witty side comment - the two met once again. After their first class of the day was usually the only time they were both at their lockers at the same time, as it happened, and Virgil was always thankful that it was the only time. Since their assignment to the Biology project, however, Roman had taken to walking with Virgil from their English class to their lockers and beginning his bouts of banter prematurely.

"Not a fan of the infamous talent show, are we?" Roman paced quickly over to Virgil, who had just made it outside the classroom door as they'd been dismissed. Virgil huffed in defeat as his attempt to escape before Roman could catch him had been fruitless.

"It's ridiculous," Virgil didn't slow his pace for Roman, and began essentially speedwalking down the hall. Roman was slightly taller than him and was able to keep up, but still got a little out of breath doing it. "Hey everyone, come and show everyone in the school something you really enjoy so they can all collectively judge you and make you self conscious about your interests and - oh no! you don't wanna do it anymore because you feel horribly inadequate? shoooot. Sorry man, no one could have seen that coming. Oh well, better luck next year when you'll just ruin a different passion for yourself!" Virgil flailed his hands at the end of his mini-rant.

"How can you stay that sarcastic for that long consecutively? I'm honestly impressed," Roman said, huffing as they arrived at their lockers. Virgil's permanent frown seemed to somehow deepen. "Though, I guess I really can't argue, Count Woe-laf. I see your point. The pressures of an impromptu performance are... undeniable." Roman focused his attention on the padlock hanging from the latch of his locker, while Virgil looked to him with widened eyes.

"Really?" He didn't look away from Roman until he would look back.

"What?" Roman defended.

"It's just..." Virgil focused on his own padlock now, "You never agree with what I say. It always becomes a debate," he pulled his locker open lazily, pulling his backpack off his shoulders and putting it on backwards so that he could more easily exchange things. When Roman didn't reply, he continued, "like... I don't know. Why is it any different now?"

Roman was exchanging things as well, and didn't have an immediate answer. Well, he knew the answer (or in this case, answers), but it wasn't one he was even ready to admit to himself, let alone anyone else, and especially let alone Virgil. He just eventually shrugged.

This reaction only further alarmed Virgil. He opened his mouth to continue his flabbergasted interrogation, but the bell rang right at that moment. Roman slammed his locker shut suddenly.

"Well, that's our queue I suppose. See you tonight, Incredible Sulk." Roman elbowed Virgil in the shoulder a bit awkwardly and began skipping down the hall to his next class. That left a dumbfounded and nearly-panicking Virgil standing in front of his open locker in an almost completely empty hall.

He wished Roman would stop leaving him like that.

...

Roman had texted the Biology Project group chat that weekend, saying he had an important football practice on Monday that went until 5. they'd have to have their meet-up at Roman's a bit later in the evening. Logan simply waited it out by heading to the school library to get his other homework done, while Patton and Virgil shot the breeze, walking down random hallways of the school.

The two of them were grabbing a snack from a vending machine when Virgil checked his phone. It was 4:50. They got their respective snacks - Patton got a strawberry Pop tart and Virgil got a Sunny D - and made their way to the designated meeting place. It was a concrete bench at the front of the school. They expected to find Logan there, but he wasn't. The two of them simply sat on the cold bench and exchanged bits of each other's snacks, and continued talking until Virgil noticed someone approaching.

He figured it would be Logan, but this person was shorter and more filled out than Logan. He trained his eyes better and realized that it was Roman. Roman, who happened to have a towel around his neck and sopping-wet crimson curly hair unabashedly on display. A drip of water rolled down his cheek and along his jawline, and Virgil realized he was staring. Roman finally got within conversation distance.

"Like what you see, Charlie Frown?" He teased. Patton looked to Virgil, noticing his awe, and giggled.

"Hah, in your dreams, Meta Knight," Virgil deflected half-heartedly, still finding it hard to pull his eyes away from Roman's unfortunate perfection. It was only worse that Roman knew just how attractive he was.

"Why's your hair all wet, silly?" Patton asked, standing energetically to greet him.

"We rinse off after practice. I considered leaving my shirt off so i could just get a clean one when i got home, but i knew that might be a bit too much to handle for some of us," Roman elbow-nudged Patton, who just giggled again and pushed his glasses up. Virgil knew that was extremely forced, especially after their conversation on Friday.

"Well," Roman checked his wristwatch, "Where would my nerdy Wolverine happen to be? It's ten past, and if there's anything Logan certainly is, it's punctual."

"Quite right you are," a stern voice came from behind them, to reveal Logan's lengthy form approaching casually. "My apologies for my tardiness. I got quite engaged in a particular Physics problem." Roman turned to him smiling, and pecked him on the cheek. Virgil didn't need to look at Patton to feel his friend's heart sink through the floor.

"Shall we then?" Roman turned to lead the way on the five-block journey to his house.

...

"hmm, that reminds me," Roman said from his sprawled position on his bed, "what are all your sexualities?"

That sure caught everyone's attention. The clock beside Roman's bed read 6:28 PM. Logan was studying their plants and taking notes, Patton had been cooing quietly to Roman's pet turtle, and Virgil was sitting in Roman's spinning desk chair scrolling on his phone. They all looked at Roman at once, and then at each other.

"Heh," Roman sat up, "My apologies for blurting such an intrusive question, I was just looking up at my-" he gestured toward his ceiling- "glorious flag, and it made me wonder. No man must answer that which he does not desire to." Roman was blatantly referring to the Bisexual flag that was pinned to the ceiling above his bed. They all looked at it, and back at him. "I suppose it's obvious now, but yes, I am undeniably bisexual," He faux bowed.

The silence wasn't doing anyone good, so Patton broke it before it got too much more awkward. "I, I'm gay," he said sheepishly, continuing to observe the turtle. Virgil gave him a soft smile, and decided to offer himself up next.

"I'm pan," he seemed to recoil further into his hoodie, if that were even possible. Logan turned to the other three, adjusting his necktie.

"I'm not usually one to admit this to many people, but since you have all been so transparent and calm about such personal information," He started, "I am comfortable telling you that I am Asexual."

No one regarded this with much surprise, except for Roman. "Oh really?" He said, seemingly surprised and embarrassed. Virgil scoff-laughed at him.

"What, upset you can't make your sexual fantasies a reality?" Virgil teased. Roman gasped, bringing a hand to his chest in an offended gesture.

"Excuse me!" He exclaimed, a look of disgust contorting his face.

Before a classic Roman-Virgil debate could ensue, Patton decided to share his thoughts.

"Well, I, I mean, I'm not ace but I, I guess sex isn't really so important to me," he was fiddling with his ring yet again.

"W-well, it should never be the centerpiece of any relationship!" Roman declared. They all looked at him skeptically. "what? I mean, personally, I prefer grand gestures." As he spoke, he stood and walked to Logan. "In my opinion," he produced a pristine bouquet of deep red roses that none of the others had noticed anywhere in the room before, "they are the key to any person's heart."

Logan seemed tame, Patton thought. As if he were performing. If he were being his normal self, he would have been very confused by where Roman had hidden the bouquet, and how it looked so perfect after being concealed. Instead, he just took it with a very gentle sweet smile, and thanked him quietly. Instead of Logan, Patton was now the one confused.

Virgil's face was red, and his neck a blotchy pink; thankfully he was mostly hidden under his purple bangs and hood. He huffed and excused himself to use the restroom. Patton noticed this time, and grabbed his arm before he made it out of the room.

"You okay?" he whispered gently to Virgil. Virgil just looked at him, mustered a small smile and a nod. Patton knew exactly what that meant. Virgil was okay, he just needed a moment. He returned the smile, and released his gentle paternal grip on Virgil's arm, allowing him to leave.

There was the sound of someone calling Roman's name from another part of the house, and Roman excused himself, rushing off to find its source.

Logan slipped his phone into the pocket of his navy slacks. "Well, I must be going now," He began. Instead of reaching to gather his things, he trained his acute attention directly on Patton, who was startled by the sudden focus on him. "Patton, do you have a ride home today?"

"I, uh, well," He tried blurting out an excuse but none came to his mind. "No, not exactly..."

Logan was slowly approaching, and Patton tried to back up but hit the terrarium containing Roman's turtle after just one small step. "Would you like a ride? My parents would be more than happy to assist in your safe transport home."

"Well, well I really don't want to intrude, or-" He stopped dead when Logan placed a slender hand gently on his shoulder.

"I insist. It's no intrusion or burden to them. They appreciate being able to help others when they can, especially people whose company I enjoy." Logan didn't feel as though he was figuratively lying through his teeth, but he knew that his parents didn't exactly feel that way. The nature of the situation was more that they took kindly to those that Logan worked well with on academically related subjects, such as people from his study group or the like.

Patton caught himself before letting the thought "you enjoy my company?" escape his lips. He just smiled. He knew there was no way he could get himself to deny Logan's offer when his heart was taking the reins.

"I would.. really appreciate, a ride home, yeah," He said quietly. Logan was just looking into his eyes with a tenderness Patton hadn't seen before. He pushed away any thoughts that Logan may have looked at Roman the exact same way during their date. He hoped he hadn't, and cursed himself for hoping it.

"Wonderful," Logan pulled himself out of their shared momentary trance. "I will let them know. I'm sure they will find it a pleasure to become acquainted with you. They should be here in less than five minutes, so I suggest gathering your belongings." Logan's thumbs padded across is illuminated phone screen as he spoke, until he once again slid it into his pocket and began collecting his things along with Patton.

Virgil entered once again, hood off and face slightly red and wet. it was clear that he hadn't been crying due to the sporadic nature of the droplets of water across his face; it looked more like he'd just haphazardly washed his face in the sink and hadn't bothered to wipe the remnants away. Patton smiled at him brightly.

"Ah, Virgil," Logan addressed as he slung his bag over his shoulder, "It was pleasant to see you again. We are on our way out now. Are you ready, Patton?" He looked to Patton, who also slung his bag over his shoulder.

"Yep! Logan's giving me a ride," Patton blatantly could barely contain his excitement in his ever-growing grin, so Virgil only returned it with a small thumbs up.

"Alright, ill see you guys in class tomorrow," He hugged Patton tightly, and half-heartedly saluted to Logan without making eye contact. Logan simply nodded to him, and the two left shortly, leaving Virgil alone in Roman's room.

[1899-newsboy-strike]

The Unexplainable Pt 2 - A Twilight Love Triangle

The Unexplainable Masterlist

A/N: Just a quick disclaimer, if you see this story on Wattpad under the same title, it is not a copy or I’m not trying to copy it, it is my story from over three years ago that I am just rewriting and actually finishing Also rewriting this made me realize I used to never use punctuation for dialogue and always used the word “said” and I also always tried making my characters clairvoyant for some reason. This part also just has so much self projection from younger me

Warnings: bullying

Summary: The back stabber

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Once you got home you got your things from your car and went straight up to your room. You got your homework done as quick as you could, and started working on your art project. You had to be done by the end of the month, and you wanted to work as much as you could because you wanted it to be perfect. The teacher said that it had to be something from our imagination, and it could be anything you wanted, so you chose a wolf. You didn't know why, but you felt like that's what you needed to draw. You heard Bella's truck pull up in the driveway, and you quickly got up to lock your door. You sat down again continuing to sketch the wolf, when you heard your door knob jiggle followed by a knock on my door.

"Hey Cassie can I come in?" You heard Bella ask from the other side of the door. 

"No Bella, I'm kind of busy with something for school and I can't have any distractions, sorry!" You called out, continuing what you were doing before.

You technically weren’t lying, because you really did want to get a lot of detail into your project, but you also didn’t want to talk to her if she's going to talk about you behind your back, and act like she didn't do anything when you are at home. You were almost done with half of the sketch, and by that time it was already one in the morning, so you decided it was time to go to sleep before you had to go to school. You woke up four hours later, getting lunch ready for school and dressing in whatever you grabbed out of your closet. You grabbed an apple on the way out the door, eating it on your way to school. 

You’d always been the first one there, which you were more than okay with. You usually stayed in your car reading a book, so you didn’t mind not having the chaos of a crowded parking lot. You got out of your car and went to your first class when you heard the bell ring, pulling your attention away from the book in your hand, and you couldn’t help but hope today would be better than yesterday. You couldn't help but notice Bella with her group of friends when you walked by her car. She didn't even give a second glance at you when she saw you, and you felt like you shouldn't have even been there. If your own sister couldn't even accept you in front of people, then maybe you were a mistake.

You walked by the Cullen's and couldn’t help but notice Jasper staring at me with what seemed like pity. You couldn’t help but feel confused, knowing it must have been your imagination. When you were about to look away, you felt a tear run down your cheek and whipped it away quickly, looking down and continuing your walk to class. As usual you sat down in the back and just listened quietly while the teacher was talking about equations you already knew the answers to. You heard laughing and whispering before suddenly there was a paper was thrown on your desk. You unfolded it and it read, 'No one likes you, you freak go kill yourself. You're just a mistake that your parents probably didn't want to make.' As the day went on you got more notes, and your mood just got worse by the time lunch came. You were sitting at the lunch table, picking at your food, thinking about what everyone had been telling you today. You suddenly felt a wave of what felt like happiness or joy wash over you, but just as soon as it came, it was gone. You shook your head to clear the confusion, putting your head in your hands.

Unknowing to you, the Cullens were sat across the cafeteria, their full attention on you. Jasper could feel your emotions the most out of anyone in the cafeteria, and it caught the attention of everyone sitting around him. Rosalie had also taken a liking to you, despite your blue and red eyes, you had reminded her of her younger sister. It had been her idea for Jasper to use his gift on you, but when they saw it backfire, every single one of them was even more confused by you than before.

You couldn't take how you were feeling anymore and shot up out of my seat getting your stuff hurrying toward the trash can throwing your things away, going to my last period of the day, art. You had debated whether or not to skip that period since you had already finished the sketch, and just needed to paint it, but you decided to stay. You let out a sigh when you sat down in your spot, and got out black paint, painting the wolf as realistic as you could. Once the bell rang you had surprisingly finished and handed the finished piece to your teacher, turning in the assignment early. After you were done talking to the teacher you headed home the day never leaving your mind.

***********

It had been almost a week and everything had gotten worse, and you didn't know how much more of this you could take. You’d been dealing with it for too long, and you didn’t have any control over it. You’d been crying yourself to sleep every night, trying to keep quiet so your dad and Bella don't hear and ask questions. You've had depression ever since middle school when everyone started bullying you about your eyes. You wore sunglasses most of the time which was weird because Forks wasn’t sunny, but you thought it was better than people seeing your eyes. 

You let out a sigh, getting up from your bed since you couldn't get any sleep the night before and when you looked in the mirror and your eyes were still puffy from crying so you splashed water on your face hoping that would do something and started heading down to school. Once it was lunch you sat down eating and drawing whatever came to mind. After you were done, you looked at it and got confused. You’d drawn two sets of eyes, one was red and the other was a sort of golden color. You looked down at the picture confused before turning the page, drawing something else. This time it was a picture of someone but you couldn't really tell who it was. 

"So Bella, your sister seems to be getting weirder lately." You heard one of Bella's friends say. You had been fed up with them talking poorly about you, but you were too scared to ever say anything so all you could do was sit and listen. 

"Yeah she just doesn't fit in, she belongs in a circus or something am I right?" Bella joked and that got all her friends laughing. You looked down at your lap feeling the tears start to stream down my face.

Before you could even think about what to do, the bell rang and you headed off to art. Instead of going to art you just sat on the steps outside of school and rested your head on the side of the steps. You silently cried to yourself because you knew the bell would ring soon, and you weren’t going to let anyone see you cry so you hid your face. The stairs were pretty long so you weren't really taking up space, and if you wanted to go home you could just get up and walk to your car since you were right in front of the parking lot. You heard the bell ring and you let out a quiet squeak shaking. You heard footsteps from people walking by and heard various comments. 'Freak' 'Weirdo' 'Mistake' 'Go kill yourself' etc.  

You heard what sounded as if they were walking together not like the bundle of kids earlier. You moved closer to the side of the wall, shaking trying not to let out a sob waiting for whoever was walking to tell you something. You heard some of the footsteps continue but one stopped and stayed. You waited for whoever it was to tell me something but to your surprise they didn't. The person suddenly sat down beside you making you flinch when they put a hand on your back. You looked to your right a little to see who it was, and saw Rosalie. 

"Hey, why are you crying?" Rosalie asked. You just stared at her, not knowing what to say. You just shook your head, looking forward, not wanting to say anything. "Well Y/N, my family and I were wondering if you would like to come home with us because we wanted to talk to you about something." She explained. You thought about it for a while and you guess it wouldn't hurt. 

"I g-guess so" You stuttered out, and as you said that there was a screeching making your head shoot up to see what was going on. 

Your sister was about to be hit by a car and you didn't feel worried one bit. You actually didn't feel anything. You felt numb and you just laid your head on the side of the brick wall closing your eyes. Before you knew it you were in a house you’d never been in before, and were surrounded by the Cullen's. You looked around and the room alone was huge and you couldn’t help but wonder what the rest of it looked like.

"Hey Y/N, you fell asleep and you were coming here with us anyway so we just brought you with us." Rosalie explained, making you look over at her. You nodded and looked around at the Cullen family silently, not being able to find your voice. "What we wanted to tell you will have to wait until my dad gets home from work. Don't worry, I texted your dad and told him that you were going to spend the weekend with us and he was excited that you were making friends, so he said that it was fine and that he'd see you when you got home on Monday." Rosalie continued and you nodded again. 

When Jasper sat down on the couch next to you, you looked up at him. You looked in his eyes and suddenly images flashed before yours. It was of Jasper, but it looked like it was a long time ago. When you saw an image where he had been bit by something you flinched, and suddenly saw that he had red eyes, along with the many people around him. You almost felt crazy, feeling as though you were seeing things. 

"You're not seeing things." Edward explained, popping out of nowhere. You jumped from surprise, looked at him not knowing what he’d meant. 

"What do you mean?" You asked, looking at everyone around the room. 

"Let's sit down Y/N." Carlisle explained when he walked into the room, taking off his coat before sitting across from you. "We’re all vampires, and we may or may not know why your eyes are different colors, and we’re trying to figure that out. I'm looking into it to see what I can find out. Some of us have gifts. Edward can read minds, Jasper can feel and manipulate emotions, and Alice can see the future." Carlisle explained, making you nod in understanding. You couldn’t have helped but think it was cool, and Edward laughed making you glare at him. 

"Don't go through my thoughts or..." You paused for a little thinking. "I'll try to find a way to kill you if you do." You continued, laying back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling closing your eyes. You felt eyes on you, and looked up at everyone staring at you. "What?" You asked. 

"Well you took us being vampires pretty well." Alice explained making you shrug. You laid my head on the side of the couch closing your eyes once again. 

"I'm weird, you're weird. We're all weird here." You explained not being bothered. 

"Come on Y/N, you're sleeping in Emmet and Rosalie's room since that's the only one that really has a bed." You heard someone say making you sigh. 

"But I don't even have any clothes to sleep in." You mumbled tiredly as you started falling asleep on the couch. 

"That's fine, we'll find something, come on." Alice said excitedly. 

"Give me a minute." You mumbled, falling asleep before you could stop yourself.

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Tag List: Let me know if you would like to be tagged in this series

@kettnerjanea @itsalonelygirlinalonelyworld @autumnpauley20 @thot-for-mikehanlon

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 28

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k - 4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: filler chapter again sorry! but i tried to make it cute! i didnt plan a sex scene but its there sooo yea haha lol

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : 2 requests! i hope i wrote them right! love them btw! please keep sending them!!!

Chapter 28 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I thought we would have sex before we went to bed but I must have fallen asleep faster than I wanted to. Niall also probably undressed me because when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was wearing his shirt and nothing else. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed, and brought my shoulder closer to my nose. It smelled like him even if he probably didn't wear it for too long since he had a buttoned shirt at the wedding. I turned around in bed, trying to reach him with my arm but he wasn't there and I let out a short whimper before forcing myself to open my eyes.

The room was dark and quiet and it made a shiver run in my back. I got up and realized his shirt was a bit short. I searched through my stuff for a clean pair of panties and put it on before quietly getting out of the room. Everything was dark except for a very low and warm light in the living room. I walked slowly closer and leaned against the wall when I saw Niall sitting on the couch. He was writing very quickly in his notebook and he was so concentrated that he didn't even notice me. It was always special for me to see him when he seemed to be so deep in his thoughts that no one could get in his bubble. His hair was a mess and once in a while, he ran his hand in it, making the mess even worse. I stared at him for a while as he kept his focus on the paper, wearing only his boxers and making me realize he probably woke up in the middle of the night with an idea that he couldn't let go of. Something that he knew he wouldn’t remember in the morning but that he just had to write about.

I didn't know how long I stayed there but I didn't want to interrupt him or distract him. I just walked back to the room after a while and lied down in bed, looking at the ceiling. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened to me in the past few months and somehow, I felt like everything was going for the better. The more time passed, the more It seemed like I was discovering who I was and what I wanted.

It was so obvious that what I wanted was Niall but more than that, what I really wanted was a healthy relationship with Niall. I wanted us to be the kind of couple that would drip with sweetness but that also could spend time without each other without going crazy. I wanted him to be my best friend but not my only friend and I didn't want either of us to be afraid, insecure, jealous or unhappy. I knew I was asking a lot, and I knew not everything could be perfect all the time, but I knew Niall and I together could come very fucking close to perfection.

I tried to stay awake until he came back to sleep but once again, I probably had fallen asleep despite myself because when I woke up again, the sun was already up and I had a small headache. I groaned and this time, I knew he was still in bed. I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine and I turned in the sheets, wrapping my arm around his back. His cheek was flat against the mattress just like his chest and I watched him sleep, his lips parted and slightly twisted as he let out a low snore. Fuck, he was so hot and I just stared at him with my eyes half-open for a few minutes, or maybe 15? 20? Who knew?

When I realized how bad I needed to pee, I finally got up very slowly, making sure I wouldn't wake him up. He was always up before me but I knew he had been up a big part of the night to write something and I wanted him to get the rest he needed and clearly deserved.

I made coffee and stayed next to the coffee machine as I watched it fall down, yawning a few times before adding cream and sugar in my cup. I couldn't stop thinking about him going on tour and being separated from him for weeks and it made something twist in my chest. Of course, I didn't want to be the girl who would follow him everywhere. I was not that girl anymore. I was not dependent of the man I loved, and I had stuff to do and commitments, too. We were about to start filming the new season of my tv show and although I dreaded playing with Dylan I knew it was something we had to do. It would be awkward at first, for sure, but in the end, I knew he was professional and I promised myself I would be, too.

I finished my coffee but left the cup in the sink before walking to the living room. It was supposed to be a lazy day and I was surprised my head didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, or that I wasn't nauseous at all despite all the champagne I had drank the night before.

I sat on the couch and pushed the stuff on it to find the remote. It showed that I was spending time at Niall's : his place had never been so messy and I suddenly felt guilty. I finally found the remote but looked at it before sighing, putting it back on the coffee table as I took the decision to clean a bit while he was still asleep. Something caught my attention and even if I knew I shouldn't, I grabbed hos notebook to the page it was opened and started reading. Niall rarely shared his writing with random people until it was a final product and all the songs I had heard was because I had crept on him somehow. I was not proud of it but at the same time, he never really seemed angry about it. I remembered that time when we were all at his place and I had followed the sound of his guitar until I practically fell in the room like a loser as he was playing a song. At that time, I had thought it was about Heidi but now that I knew it was about me, I wished I could remember what the lyrics were. All I could remember was that I had deeply hoped that it was for me. That thought made something twist in my chest and I licked my lips before letting my eyes roam on the words I was probably not supposed to see.

"I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes"

A lot of words seemed to be scratched a few times and then I could read something that seemed like a chorus.

"Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See you standing in your dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"

I swallowed and ran my fingers on the ink, feeling the tiny rifts and bumps in the paper and feeling my heart beating so fast in my chest that I had a hard time to breathe.

"Now, we're sitting here in your living room Telling stories while we share a drink or two And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind We're 65 and you ask "When did I first know?" I always knew."

And just when I thought it was probably not about me, I saw a word that was also scratched at the end of the lyrics and I could swear it started with a capital O. I grabbed the notebook, moving it up and putting the simple sheet where the song was written in the light. It appeared clearly. My name at the bottom. I didn't know why it was crossed out and I was not sure I wanted to know. but as I re-read the lyrics for the tenth time, I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It was a wedding song.

After a few minutes, I finally started moving again. I cleaned the living room, washed the dishes, started laundry and even started cleaning the windows. All while thinking about the song, the lyrics hitting inside my brain and doing something incredible to my heart : something I hadn't felt ever before. I would never tell him but if Niall asked me to marry him at this exact moment, I would say yes. Was it because of the great time we had the night before? Or maybe because we were so happy together these days? I had no idea. But I knew I'd say yes in a heartbeat. Tomorrow, I couldn't tell you what my answer would be but today? It would be a million times yes.

I saw him walk behind me in the reflection of the now extra clean windows and my lips immediately curled. He placed himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder, and suddenly, I felt so much better than I did only a few minutes ago, even if I was still happy before.

"You should have waken me up." he whispered in my ear. "I would have helped you. Especially that you're cleaning wearing only a shirt and panties. I'd love to see you on all four as you clean the floor."

I laughed and raised my nose up as he kissed a spot near my ear. It was not only my love for him that made my heart jump when he was near, it was more than that. It was who he was, who I hoped he would always be.

"Tell me you'll always do that, that you'll always say things like that."

He pulled away slightly and turned his head more to look at me. I waited for his answer but he was waiting for me to look at him and I gave in, my eyes finally meeting his.

"Hold you? Kiss you? Tell you that I love and lust you?" he asked low, raising his eyebrows. I bit my bottom lip and nodded. "I promise. I swear. You have my words. And my heart. And my body, soul and mind."

My traits softened and I turned in his arms to face him, wrapping mine around his neck, moving my chin up to kiss him. He pushed me gently against the window as we kissed and I felt my butt press against it, making me chuckle.

"I'm gonna have to clean that window again." I let out with a smile as he chuckled against my lips.

"Or, you know, we can leave it like that." he proposed, shrugging a shoulder. "Your butt print seems like a nice decoration."

I'm the one who laughed this time. "You? Leaving a dirty window without touching it? Who are you trying to fool, Horan?"

"Don't call me that." he just said in a serious tone, raising his eyebrows.

"Or what?"I asked, teasing him with a sassy voice.

"Or I'm gonna tickle you." he pointed out, making my heart skip a beat. "I'm gonna tickle you until you beg me to stop."

"Sure, Horan." I tried to provoke him, putting emphasis on his last name.

He stared at me for a few seconds but suddenly and quickly, he picked me up and brought me to the couch. I was surprised that he could actually support my weight and he finally let me fall on the couch as I bounced on the cushions but he quickly straddled me, grabbing my wrists and pulling them over my head. When was the last time we played like that? It had been so long I couldn't remember.

"Apologize now." he ordered, looking down at me.

I could feel his grip tighten on my wrists and I licked my lips. "Never."

"Last chance." he let out, making me smirk.

"Bite me, Horan."

Quickly, he brought his free hand to my waist and started tickling me. Immediately, I started squirming, trying to get out of his grip as I let out a few high pitched yells. It made him laugh and it made me remember how much I hated to be tickled. After a while, he stopped and my lips parted as I started panting.

"You looking like that? God. Makes me want to tie you up and have my way with you."

I let out a short laughter and he started tickling me again until I started screaming his name.

"Niall! Niall stop! I c-can't!"

He did as I asked and smirked. "Beg me." he let out, shaking his eyebrows. "Apologize and beg me."

"Mm, I'm so sorry, Niall." I whispered with puppy eyes. "Please I'm begging you, stop tickling me?"

"Don't you fucking pout like that, it makes me want to fuck your mouth."

I laughed louder this time, tilting my head back slightly and closing my eyes as I felt his hand run up my breasts.

"And you say I'm the horny one!"

"Heyyy!" he argued with a frown. "I fingered you last night and I didn't cum at all, remember?"

My smirk disappeared and I just smiled at him. "You want to cum now?"

He groaned and raised his nose up. "I feel like all we do is fuck."

I shrugged and he finally let go of my wrists. I brought my hands to his pants and slid one in them, raising my eyebrows again but in surprise this time.

"You went commando?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he reached for my shirt and moved it up to expose my breasts as I took his cock out of his pants, stroking him slowly with both my hands. He breathed in and then out, letting out a very short whimper and one of his hands moved back to reach between my legs. He moved two of his fingertips on my panties, brushing against my clit and I pressed my lips together. I tried to focus on what my hands were doing and spit on his cock before running my fingers right under his tip. He groaned and brought his hand back to grab one of my breasts hard and I started stroking him harder.

"That feels so fucking good." he admitted, running his thumb on my nipple. "I tried doing that to myself and it just doesn't work. It has to be your hands."

I didn't tell him but it probably could have been anyone's hands except his and even if he probably knew it, I didn't want to point it out just in case. He took his cock in his hands, making me hold my breath and take my hands away and quickly, he tapped his cock on my tits before rubbing his tip on my nipples.

"Please, petal, push your tits together."

My heart jumped so high in my chest that I had to swallow it back.

"Niall, I don't think my boobs are big enough to-"

"Do it." he cut me.

I bit my bottom lip and did as he asked, just watching him spit in his hand and rub his cock again. My lips parted when he put his cock between my breasts and he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't even look at me again. I could pretend otherwise but watching him using me to cum was actually exciting and when he groaned, I pressed my thighs together as I felt my pussy throb. I loved the feeling of his cock sliding quickly between my breasts and the thought in itself was driving me insane. After a while, he took his dick back in his hand and started jerking off harder until his lips parted.

"Jesus Christ." he whispered as I held my breath.

He shook slightly over me, moaning low as his cum spurted on my chest and breasts. I just remained motionless as he came down from his high, letting out a low 'fuck" and rubbing his tip on my nipples again, spreading his cum on me.

He sighed and sat on me, putting his cock back in his pants as I stared at him and he shook his head.

"I'm so.. so sorry. I was just so..."

"Horny? Yea I noticed." I chuckled, letting my lips curl as he finally looked back at me.

"I didn't really give you much attention, did I?" he asked, raising his nose up. I could read guilt on his face and my lips curled. "I'm sorry, pet."

"I'm just... I'm glad I made you cum. Didn't think that would be so exciting, but it was." I admitted, pulling my shirt back over my breasts as he laughed. "Also didn't think it was possible with my boobs."

"Your boobs are perfect." he pointed out before getting up and holding his hand out for me.

I put my hand in his and his fingers gripped mine as he helped me get up, letting his eyes roam on my face. He bent down to kiss me and I closed my eyes at the way it made my heart jump in my chest.

"Lazy day yea?" he proposed in a breath, his mouth still pressed against mine. "You go take a shower and I'll close all the curtains, find a good tv show to binge on netflix, and order something, chinese maybe?"

I nodded quickly and smiled. "That sounds perfect."

I took a quick shower and put on a pair of his sweatpants and one of his shirts and when I got back in the living room, he had brought pillows and blankets, a few beers and was waiting for me with the remote in hands. I stared at him for a while, just trying to live the moment and realize how lucky I was, before finally sitting next to him. He looked up at me with a smile and I pushed the pillows away to lean against his chest as his back was against the side of the couch. His legs were spread but they moved a bit close to both my sides, kind of to trap me close to him. He tried to put the blanket over us and I helped him before squirming slightly to be more comfortable.

"Hey, watch the goods, yea?"

I laughed but still took care of where I was moving and he wrapped one of his arms around me.

"Remember this spot because food will be there in half an hour and we're gonna have to do it all over again." he said, making me groan and making him laugh. "Seriously though, it feels good to have you here with me just to have a lazy day."

I felt my heart swell and smiled more, turning to kiss his jaw gently. He looked down and his lips met mine and he deepened the kiss just as the first episode of a series we both wanted to watch started.

"How will I be able to focus on anything but you today, mm?" I let out, half-joking.

He rolled his eyes with a low chuckle and we both focused on the tv for a while. I groaned when the doorbell rang and he laughed again. I sat up to let him get up and when he came back with the food, I realized how hungry I was. we ate again in silence but I couldn't stop glancing at him. There was something endearing in the way he used his chopsticks to push the noddles in his mouth and I only realized I was staring when he turned his gaze to me and chuckled. I blinked a few times and looked away as he swallowed his food.

"It's okay, you can stare. I stare at you too, you know. You just don't notice."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and put my food away.

"Just like I stared at you for about twenty minutes in the middle of the night." I confessed, making him frown. "You were sitting here, in only your boxers, and you were writing. You were so focused on what you were doing that you never noticed me."

I couldn't add that I had found him gorgeous with his messy hair and his tired eyes. I couldn't say that I had felt a wave of love so strong that I almost started crying. I couldn't tell him that because it still embarrassed me to be so in love with him. Not because I didn't want to be, but because I was scared I would end up losing him again.

His lips curled into a smile and he pushed the air out of his lungs. "I was writing a song. For you. About you."

My lips crashed against his and he replied to the kiss quickly, pushing his tongue deep in my mouth as I whimpered. He didn't know that I had read it and I suddenly felt guilty but he literally confirmed that his lyrics were about me and somehow, it made me ecstatic. So ecstatic that I surprised myself wishing he'd ask me to marry him as soon as our lips would part.

"I didn't know if I should tell you but, Olivia, I'm so happy we're both single right now. I know it's wrong to say that but fuck, I'm happy with you. Just you and I. No guilt, no stress, no question. You and me, living this moment."

I kissed him again, not knowing what to answer. I was happy too. I was happier than I had ever been, even before we broke up, and I didn't want anything to change. I didn't want to jinx this by claiming my happiness out loud. I didn't want to risk this happiness with an official relationship because last time didn't end well. It was ridiculous. All my fears made no sense, but it didn't make them vanish to know that.

"I love you, Niall." I whispered, leaving small kisses slowly on his mouth, jaw and cheeks. "I love you more than anything. No one is you."

He finally let go of his chopsticks to cup my face and he breathed in before his mouth found mine again.

"I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life." he murmured quickly before kissing me again.

My heart jumped when I recognized the lyrics and it made me wonder how often he talked to me with his own lyrics. I wanted to hear all of them. One time, twice, three times... a hundred fucking times. I wanted him to play me all the songs that were for me, to sing them, to whisper them, to yell them. I wanted him to make love to me while he'd do it, to hold my hand as we walked outside as he'd sing, to fucking marry me as he'd yell. I wanted him to claim his love for me until I'd be tired to hear it. And deep down, I knew I'd never be.

"I have a weekend left before I leave for tour." he just said sadly, breaking my heart. "I thought we could leave. Pack a bag, take the road, only you and me, for a few days."

My lips curled so much that my cheeks started hurting and I quickly nodded. I really wanted to spend quality time with him while it was still possible and I kissed his lips again.

"That's a yes?" he made sure as I nodded. "Okay then, we're leaving in 3 days. So cancel all the plans you had."

I laughed and licked my lips, licking his at the same time because of the proximity of our mouths.

"Niall? I'm sorry, I had planned to spend all my days with you but this super hot guy just asked me on a road trip so I'm gonna have to rain check."

He laughed and shook his head slightly. "Dork."

He pulled away slightly to stare at me as we completely forgot the show playing. I grabbed the remote and put it on pause before looking back at him and tilting my head. I needed him more than I ever needed him before and it was scaring me so bad I could feel my heart trying to escape my rib cage in intense thumps.

"Tell me you love me." I whispered as I bit my bottom lip nervously. "Please, Niall."

His face changed and he moved closer. I thought he'd kiss me again but instead, he got serious and I felt him grab my hands.

"I love you, Olivia. I'm in love with you. I never stopped, not one second. And I never will. Do you want me to repeat it every day? At which frequency? Every 6 hours? 4 hours? Two? I'll put a damn alarm on my phone to tell you in the middle of the night if I have to." he said in a soft tone. "I know it was different when we dated, but I will never let you believe that you are not perfect the way you are, that you are not everything I want and need, or that you are not loved. Never again. I swear, Olivia. I fucking love you."