#he got 20 bucks from me though so I don’t think he cares

[gayalanwake]

something that seriously haunts me is that when I went to new york comic con last year I walked right past the b&bh booth at artist alley bc I had yet to gaf. Like I literally started watching the show 2 weeks later. fuck my stupid baka life

[mvltisstuff]

What about a fic where reader is Evan’s sister and gets into a bad car accident? Lots of angst but also some fluff please. 🫶🫶

slipping through my fingers - e.b

summary: request :)

evan buckley x sister!reader (a lot of maddie too 🩶)

a/n: i have an eddie diaz oneshot in the drafts currently that i’ve been debating on posting. it contains a pretty sensitive subject, so i really wanted to get it right. it was inspired by another request, along with another show. i hope you enjoy this and i’ll keep on writing some more for you guys :))

y/n could say growing up with as the youngest buckley wasn’t the easiest task. the consistency of begging for attention was draining from the start. going above and beyond for just a grain of appreciation was the default in their house. she was repeatedly looked through, almost as if she wasn’t there due to her parents grief.

she had come after buck in a desperate attempt to be able to save david, but failed in the end. he was gone too soon, so therefore, y/n was almost like a chore. sure, her parents loved her, but she wasn’t the child they wanted. dealing with the discovery of why she wasn’t loved enough was just as bad as experiencing it. maddie was in boston with doug, and buck had gone onto his own adventures. meanwhile y/n was stuck at home with nowhere to go and no plans of leaving. she dreamed about it, though. she heard about buck moving to los angeles and immediately wanted to be with him. she was almost done with college, and after that, she packed up her diploma and degree and flew away.

life in california was amazing. she had friends, she was loved, and she had no reminders of the lonesomeness she felt at home. for once, she was able to make a home out of where she was. maddie was safe, and it felt like they were a fixed version of their family.

out of the pure intentions in her heart, y/n invited her distant parents back to LA. with maddie expecting a new baby, and the years of a few texts, there was a new hope that maybe things could be turned around. it wouldn’t change their childhood experiences, but maybe they could heal them. maddie was on board, but buck was still skeptical. their words were like knives and the scars couldn’t be helped. he showed up anyway, wanting to give maddie and her baby the opportunity to have a life with them.

they travelled six hours, and chimney and maddie were gracious enough to host a dinner for everyone. maddie received hugs and gifts as buck and y/n were kind of nudged away. when maddie got her baby box that her parents had from when they were kids, buck and y/n had just become dusty figures. they didn’t say anything, at least not about that.

an explosive speech from buck had ignited from the judgmental words from their parents, causing him to be begging for love and expressing his inner teenage self. he had removed himself from the dining room of the apartment, and y/n sat in her seat, slumped over with her head in her hands.

“god, can you guys please just do something other than reprimand us?” y/n breaks the awkward silence.

“we were just speaking, y/n!” says their father. “if evan wants to storm out, let him.”

“well, maybe he wouldn’t have stormed out if you didn’t nit-pick ever part of his life.”

“you invited us, y/n. i don’t know what you want us to say. you know what we went through-“

“and you think that’s an excuse? if so, it’s a shitty one and we all know it. no parent should have to say goodbye to a child, but no child needs to go unloved because they don’t care anymore. and you didn’t even bat an eye when he begged you to ‘love him anyway’. so if you want to sit here, and tear down everything we have build from your actions, be our guest.”

“you always defend your siblings, y/n. you guys have never once put yourself in our shoes!” their mother cries out.

“oh, trust me, we did. for over 20 years,” maddie breaks in.

“how do you think we feel, maddie? you all just packed up your stuff and ran away to leave us with nothing,” speaks their father, again.

“dad, i can’t… i can’t do this. everything i did, i did it myself. i made this life here for myself! so did maddie, so did buck. don’t go putting yourselves on a pedestal,” she begins to gather her things, and put hers and bucks dinner plates away for maddie and chimney.

“where are you going?” chimney says, trying to calm everything down and he’s definitely in the most awkward situation.

“chim, thank you for dinner and letting us come over. you’re welcome over to my place anytime. i’m sorry, but i’m going to see my brother,” y/n says, shutting the door behind her.

while maddie stays back, trying to pick up the broken pieces, y/n drives over to bucks apartment. she repeatedly calls him, making sure he’s okay and to say that she’s coming over. the roads were dark from the early sunsets of the fall, barely illuminated from the streetlights.

“buck,” she says into her phone. “i know you’re pissed off, and im sorry i arranged this. but i need to know you’re ok, so im on my way over. please call me back.”

she ends the voicemail and tries to put her phone back into the holder. it slips out of her shaky hands and onto the floor of the seat. she groans out, worried he would call her back and she wouldn’t be able to answer. she doesn’t reach down, but she looks at the phone on the floor.

a drunk, someone intoxicated with alcohol, must have been driving like a maniac. swerving through lanes with no warning and passing several signs. she tried so hard. she tried to move out of the way, but the spontaneous movements of the driver had confronted their cars head on.

the flash of white from y/n’s airbags flew out at her. the glass of her windshield was shattered, laying all over the dashboard and the seats. her head drooped onto her shoulder. the cuts on her face were stinging and the other pain in her body went unnoticeable due to shock. the soft ringtone of her phone was vibrating on the bottom of the car. the ringing in her ears caused the sound to be faded out, and she couldn’t even get it to call 9-1-1.

“maddie, hey,” buck says as maddie picks up the phone. “have you, uh, tried calling y/n? she left me so many calls and now she won’t answer.”

“no, i haven’t. she said she was coming to see you,” maddie replies, confused.

“where’s mom and dad?”

“the hotel, they left soon after her.”

buck pulls his phone away from his ear and the buzzing on his hand. y/n’s name appears across the screen. “oh, she’s calling me know,” he hangs up the phone and answers it to a bone-chilling sentence.

“is this evan buckley?” a deep, unknown voice asks in bucks ear.

y/n was awake in the ambulance, hearing all the chaos and jargon around her. she knew she’d never hear the end from buck, being a firefighter. she begged them to let him know, telling them repeatedly, “my brother works at the 118,” and how maddie is a dispatcher.

she was wheeled into the hospital on her stretcher, collar on and a big bandage around her waist for a massive piece of glass in her abdomen. “y/n buckley, 27, three-car pileup with an oblique fracture to the tibia and penetration wound to the abdomen, likely to not have hit any major organs.” and before she knew it, she was sped into the trauma rooms and given more morphine. she just wanted her brother and sister. not all these doctors or her parents.

buck picked up maddie on the way to the hospital, not thinking twice before smashing the gas pedal down. he ran through those doors like a strike of lighting, being seen in one place and somewhere else the next. he forced her name out to the nurse as maddie caught up to him. “relation to the patient?”

“brother, and sister,” he says, impatiently, both hands flat on the counter.

the nurse typed rapidly on her computer. “she’s in surgery, honey. but she’s stable.”

buck puffs out a sigh of relief as maddie grabs his arm, leading him to the waiting room. almost all of the 118 was in this hospital, like she was a firefighter herself. chimney had brought hen, and eddie had come as well as bobby. athena had told bobby, as she was the one who arrested the man who caused the crash.

buck tries to calm himself down remembers all the times he tried to one-up her and smiles at the memories. he and maddie exchange small and sweet memories of their little sister, as her life remains in the hands of someone else.

“hey,” maddie nudges him, trying to think of something to cheer him up. “remember when she stole 20’s out of our wallet to buy us christmas gifts?”

buck giggles a bit, “yeah, and then we tried playing tag, so we spun her around a ton of times and hid inside until she just sat there.”

“and then she fell down the stairs from being so dizzy,” maddie smiles.

“ruthless!” chim interrupts, sitting next to maddie.

“you know you two are what made it so hard to leave.”

“i know. imagine having to leave her all alone with mom and dad, though. she’s gotta be ok, maddie.”

“she will, buck. no one’s getting rid of her that easy.”

the doctor with a scrub cap on comes walking into the waiting room, followed by a few interns and others. “buckleys?”

maddie and buck shoot out of their seat first, and chimney and hen follow soon after like a train. “oh, my bad.” hen says, pulling her and chim back down to sit.

“what’s goin’ on, doc?”

“y/n will be fine. she had a fracture in her leg which we fixed up. she’ll need some help getting around, but she’ll be good as new,” the doctor informs.

they knew she would make it out, but hearing it being confirmed by the doctor made it so much more real. buck was speechless, not being able to mutter out any words. “can we see her?” maddie asks.

“you can, she’s still sedated from anesthesia and intubated, but cynthia, here, can lead you to the room.”

seeing y/n’s fragile and hurt body on the bed was an agonizing sight. maybe if buck hadn’t stormed out, she wouldn’t be in this bed and have come across that driver. maybe he could’ve driven her home. all the ‘if’s’ and ‘maybes’ in bucks head were floating through, thinking it’s his fault. he always takes the blame for these situations when it is completely the opposite.

buck sees tragedy every day, and maddie hears it. maddies only sister was in the small hospital room with a tube down her throat. she needed y/n there to help her, and her baby needed her aunt. buck needed his little sister, the one always there for him and forever will be. the thought of her not being there scared him to death. even though they see get rushed into the hospital or sent to the morgue every day, it will never prepare you from seeing your favorite people in that position.

buck stumbled over to the chair by the side of the bed, pulling it out for maddie to rest her aching feet. he walked to the other side of the bed, sitting down and grabbing lightly onto y/n’s hand like he was scared to break it. “i don’t know if we should say something. let her know we’re here, you know.”

“she knows, evan,” maddie says, meeting bucks eyes with her own. “i know that.”

buck smiles and looks down at y/n, her chest rising and falling with the hissing of the tubes and machines. he observes the iv’s and cuts and fresh new bruises. he wants to kill whoever did this, but at the moment, his only concern is the well-being of y/n.

so, for the rest of the night, maddie and buck didn’t move from their spots once until she was awoken and the tube was removed. they held her hand, and when y/n was awoken, she knew she was safe from the hands that were tangled with hers.

[johnnycadeirl]

prolly never gunna finish lol!

The Outsiders (Johnny's perspective)

I am Johnny Cade, a 16 year old greaser. I live in Tulsa Oklahoma, and I have my entire life, I have 2 parents, a mom and a dad. Sometimes I wish I didn't have either and then maybe I could be at peace, I could probably live with my pals, too. Ponyboy, Sodapop, and Darry would probably take me in, or Two-Bit if they could. My friends understand the situation at my house, they've saved me from my folks a handful of times. Two-Bit especially, sometimes I feel like I’d be better off dead, my parents sure would like that.. They probably wouldn’t notice for a while anyway since I haven't been going home as often anymore, and when I do.. They either ignore me or beat on me. I usually sleep at the Curtis house, or I stay with Two-Bit from time to time, when I can’t stay with Two or Pony, I sleep in the lot. I’m sure I would have a place with Dally if he didn’t stay at Bucks all the time. He doesn't have the best relationship with his parents either. His dad couldn’t care less about his whereabouts, and state. And we never hear about his mother, or any relatives that he may be able to stay with. He digs okay, so does the rest of my gang. They’re the closest relationships I’ve had to family. I'm smaller, and younger compared to all of them, well.. Except for ponyboy, at least for the age part. Ponyboy is 14 and he has already lost both of his parents in a car accident. I feel absolutely terrible for their entire family, especially Darry.. He’s only 20 and he has to continue raising his 2 kid brothers, he doesn’t usually have issues with Sodapop, but him and Ponyboy have never really gotten along, which got worse after their parents died. It was rough on the rest of the gang too. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were great people, and they took care of those who didn't have great relationships with their parents.. Me and Dally especially- Dally and Mrs. Curtis were real close, I’m sure their passing was also very hard on him.. Of course, he would NEVER let anyone know that, especially anyone in the gang. He thinks emotions and stuff like that are wastes of time, and he had never done so much as cry in front of any of us. Of course we had seen him angry, he hates the world and almost everything in it. He doesn't seem to hate me though, I’ve never been to sure as to why.. But I love Dally a lot, I love the entire gang a lot. They’re all I’ve got in life, without the gang I have nothing, I AM nothing. I would probably be dead and gone if it weren't for them. Or I’d be in a different state, trying to start a new life, without my parents being there to bug me and hurt me. Maybe there wouldn’t be any “Greasers” or “Socs” there too.. Just people. Normal, plain old people.. Maybe I’d be able to go to church there too.. Me and Ponyboy used to go all the time, we invited Two-Bit, and the rest of the gang once, they caused a pretty dramatic scene.. So we never went again. Ponyboy always talks about living in the country, pretty far 'away from the city.. I don’t think I’d mind the “country life” too much, I’d just need to get used to it for a bit, especially since I’ve never been outside of our neighborhood. Maybe there I’d be considered less stupid. That’s all I’ve ever been called by teachers and my parents. I dunno, maybe I am stupid.. I can really get excited about learning if it’s something I find interesting. Ponyboy has mentioned a book before Gone with the Wind. Maybe in the country Ponyboy would be able to read it to me or something. Ponyboy likes books a lot,

[holylulusworld]

Burned Pancakes

Title: Burned Pancakes

Summary: Bucky needs comfort.

Pairing: Tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Square 20 filled for @warmandfluffybingocards​: Kiss on the forehead  

Warnings: fluff, caring reader, nightmares, comforting, established relationship, Bucky gets the comfort he needs and deserves

Words: 1,7

Sequel to Burned Cookies

“OH NO!” you run into the kitchen to take the pan off the oven. “I burned the pancakes.” You sigh deeply. It was meant to be a surprise for your boyfriend and now, you burned the breakfast you prepared.

“Doll! What’s wrong? Where is…” Bucky watches you sigh deeply. “What happened, Y/N? Do I have to punch the oven for you?”

“I ruined the pancakes,” you pout and sniffle. “You are finally back from your mission, and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

He grins. “You did something very nice last night and in the showers.”

You giggle and give Bucky a wink. 

“I wanted to prepare breakfast…because of your appointment…I mean…uh…it will be an exhausting day for you,” you stammer. “I’m sorry Buck.”

Bucky steps toward you to cup your face with both hands. Careful and gentle. He leans forward to press a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Baby doll,” he mumbles. “You don’t have to be sorry. I liked burned pancakes.”

“Hey, don’t try to be funny, Sir,” you laugh as he peppers more kisses on your cheek and neck. “Buck! No—Bucky!”

“Best breakfast ever,” he presses his lips to yours, claiming your soft pillows in a gentle kiss. “I got to go, doll. But I promise to be back for dinner.”

“Hmm…what do you think, Alpine,” you cock your head to the side to glance at the cat Bucky brought home a few months ago. 

He found the poor cat in the middle of the street, meowing loudly. Bucky stopped a car with his metal hand to save Alpine. 

The owner of the car wasn’t happy, but you somehow talked him into not calling the cops. Of course, you offered to pay for the damage Bucky caused. 

“Do you think he’ll like it?” you fix the mattress on the ground again. “I prefer having Bucky by my side at night too, but I know he needs space sometimes.”

Alpine looks up at you, meowing as he moves toward the mattress to press his paws into the cushions. “What do you think? Too soft?”

Bucky still has nightmares. He wakes at night, screaming and sweating. Sometimes he even cries.

That’s why he sneaks out at night to sleep on the floor at your small office.

You bought him a mattress to make sure he doesn’t sleep on the floor any longer. 

“I think it’s nice,” you conclude as Alpine curls up on the mattress to get some sleep. “Alpine, no! That’s daddy’s place.”

Alpine ignores you. The cat snuggles into the mattress and closes his eyes. “You are not helpful at all. Fine, I’m going to check on dinner.”

“Doll, I’m home,” you hurriedly walk toward the door to take his jacket out of Bucky’s hands. “Hey, whoa…I can do this, Y/N.”

“No…no,” shaking your head you stop Bucky before he can tell you to stop taking care of him. “Tonight, you’ll relax. You worked so hard and saved so many people. Again.”

“Sam told you.”

“Sam told me.”

“I swear I didn’t risk my life,” Bucky hastily explains. “I didn’t tell you about work, so you won’t worry about me. I don’t want you to worry about me all the time.”

“I worry about you because I care for you,” you brush his concerns off. “I love you and won’t stop worrying. Even if you had a normal job, I’d be worried.”

“Hmm…” Bucky fights the smile wanting to creep onto his face. “Why don’t you relax and I order food for us, doll.”

“No,” you grab his hand and guide Bucky toward the living room. “I prepared dinner for us. Your favorite food and I got you the beer you like so much. And tried your mom’s recipe for dessert. I don’t know if I did well, though.”

“Y-you did all this for me,” he looks at the table. You lit candles, there is a plate with his favorite food, and a beer next to his plate. “Doll…that’s so…”

“It’s nothing special, really,” you smile softly. “I hope you are hungry.”

“It smells so good.”

Bucky’s stomach rumbles. He didn’t get homemade food for centuries and now, he’s close to tears as you placed a bowl with plumps next to his plate.

Bucky once told you it was the first thing he bought when he finally managed to escape Hydra’s grip. Plumps. The simple fruit means so much more to Bucky. 

“Sit, and have a taste,” you point at the sofa. “I hope you like it.”

“I love it,” he chokes out while sitting down. Bucky grabs a fork and eagerly buries it into the food. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you sit next to Bucky and run your hand over his back. He starts shoving the food into his mouth, moaning as you just watch him, a content smile on your face. “I got more if you are very hungry.”

“That’s great,” he eats a little slower. “Thank you…”

“You don’t need to thank me, Buck,” he smiles softly. “We are a pair. I love doing nice things for you. You know.”

“Hmm…” he nods thoughtfully. Bucky can’t remember the last time someone was kind to him. His captors saw him as a blunt tool and to everyone else, he’s a monster haunting their dreams. “It’s still nice. So, thank you, doll.”

“Anytime, Buck,” you lean your head against his shoulder and just watch him eat. You want to cry as he’s so thankful for something you did just because. “Now, eat up. Dessert is waiting for you…”

“No,” Bucky jolts up on the bed. He clutches the blanket to his naked chest. Another nightmare woke him from his sleep. 

“Buck?” you turn around to watch him sneak out of the bedroom. Bucky doesn’t want to bug you with his nightmares or disturb your sleep.

He tiptoes toward your office and sneaks inside, only to find a mattress on the floor. There are three fluffy pillows and a blanket to make sure he’ll sleep comfortably.

“Did mommy do this?” he looks at Alpine lying on one of the pillows. “I see you already got comfortable, punk.”

He smirks and sits down on the mattress, crossing his legs. Bucky is still shaken from the dream and just stares into the darkness when you enter the office.

“Nightmare again?” you softly ask. He nods and looks away. Ashamed that he’s a burden to you too. “Let me try something.”

You close the door and walk around the mattress to sit behind Bucky. He holds his breath as you gently run your fingertips over his back, shoulders, and arms. You touch him with featherlight touches, waking goosebumps on your way.

“You’re safe with me. You’re a good man,” you whisper while sliding your fingertips up his neck. “Relax and let me help you.”

“I—” he whines as you run your fingers through his hair. You gently massage his scalp and whisper soft words to help Bucky relax. “Feels so good.”

Bucky closes his eyes. He fights the tears welling up in his eyes, and his throat constricts. You don’t say a thing when he wipes tears off his cheek. 

“You’re safe with me, always. You’re a good man,” you repeat your words like a mantra, hoping that one day, Bucky believes them too…

Tags in reblog.

[minusgangtime]

The apocalyptic kitty crew batch 12 bios:

“I won’t be deterred,I will protect my family from you.”

Name: gallace

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: determined

Bio: when the crew was allowed to fight infected,he jumped on the chance,using whatever weapon he could to fend off infected,however,there were times where he got hurt and scarred,losing sight in one eye,despite that,his determination hasn’t been deterred,he has stayed loyal til the bitter present. Though he’s super serious when dealing with infected,he’s super energetic and positive with his family.

“They’ll all come around,I know they will,everyone’s strong.~”

Name:bow

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: hopeful

Bio: through the entire apocalypse,he’s seen everything,and has stayed inside the whole time. No matter how difficult his siblings have been,he never loses his patience with them,he’s incredibly sweet and patient with them. He believes deep down,one day,his siblings will heal their physical and mental wounds,though he hasn’t been around long,he knows they’re strong.

“I may not be able to support you in battle,I’ll support you emotionally! With hugs!!!~”

Name: Goldie

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: optimistic

Bio: Goldie hasn’t tried going out or fight,he knows he wouldn’t stand a chance,so instead,he spends his time being a ray of sunshine,doing his best to raise everyone’s spirits despite everything. He really is like his uncle blue..

“I’m sorry for being..u-u-unreliable..”

Name: cookie

Age: 20

Status: infected (stage 3 of glitch infection.)

Feeling: guilty

Bio: cookie was originally a scavenger,he had confidence in his husky genes. However,one day,as he was returning home,he got ambushed by the glitch,it stabbed him in the side,ripping one of the straps from his bag,infecting his blood with the glitch,it corrupted his legs and arms before he was able to get away. Now he stays in his room,not wanting to be a burden to anyone anymore..

“You want my family? You’ll have to get through ME!!!”

Name: rascal

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: determined

Bio: when the crew were allowed to fight,rascal jumped on the opportunity. He uses a baseball bat,and uses his rabbid energy to good use to bash in the infected skulls. Even when not fighting,he can pretty intense,often screaming when feeling a strong emotion,happy,angry,etc.

“Don’t worry,I won’t let them get to me.”

Name: biscuit

Age: 20

Status: immune

Feeling: focused

Bio: when biscuit learned she was immune,she used it to her advantage. She is a scavenger,going out to get supplies,she uses her dark color scheme to blend into shadows,and her long legs to run fast. Whether she’s out or inside,she’s always planning something,thinking of places to get important stuff like food. She has always stayed on topic and focused.

“I know I shouldn’t be scared in my own home..but…”

Name: marshmallow

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: paranoid

Bio: marshmallow has stayed inside during the whole apocalypse,however,the more people that got infected,the more scared she became. Eventually,she stopped coming out of her room,she is paranoid that at any time..she could get infected..if someone chooses to talk to her,she’s often shy and quiet..though she can get loud if she has a episode where she gets more anxious then usual.

“I’ll do anything to protect my family,and make up for my mistakes!”

Name: Cheeto

Age: 20

Status: healthy (cured from corruption.)

Feeling: determined

Bio: about a year and a half into the apocalypse,Cheeto was manipulated and toyed with emotionally by a corrupted infected,and if used that to corrupt him,but luckily,he was saved. Ever since,he’s wanted to make amends for “betraying” his family. So he uses his new corruption abilities and his feral nature to take care of infected. When interacting with his family,he speaks more gently than he did before.

“Shut it! I don’t care what you say!”

Name: buck

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: neutral

Bio: when he was allowed to fight,he joined in to help,he took a spare sword from blues old room and he uses that to deal with infected. He often trash talks infected,especially the more talky ones. When not fighting,he’s the same as he’s always been. He can be feisty and a bit intimidating when serious.

“Oh? You wanna hang with me?”

Name: pixie

Age: 20

Status: healthy

Feeling: insecure

Bio: seeing everyone in distress,pixie at one point,became very insecure of not being much help..as well even though she was a extrovert at heart,she doubted anyone would wanna talk to her..so in order to pass the time,she dove into the world of escapism,by playing video games in her room. Though when someone DOES wanna talk to her,she’ll stop what she’s doing,to pay attention to them,astonished that someone would wanna talk to her. Or if someone wants to play games with her,she’ll invite them over.

-mod shelby

(I'm scared for what's coming for the other doggos ;w;)

[jodilin65]

SUNDAY, MARCH 24, 1991 God, I wish moving day would hurry the fuck up and arrive. 8 more days!

I spoke to Andy last night. He’s really happy. He says it’s beautiful and that there are so many stores, and everything’s cheaper, including a movie theater with current movies that only cost a buck. He also says that even though Phoenix is a huge city, it’s spaced out so you don’t feel claustrophobic. He says maybe I’ll be out there sooner than I think, and says he misses me. I miss him, and Donna sounds really nice. I had spoken to her here before Andy left. Her mother Diane sounds nice, too. He says there are tons of singing contests and that no doubt talent agents go there and there are 22 gay bars. Can you imagine 22 gay bars?

I’m so psyched to move, but wanting to be what I want to be means I’m gonna need to get out of the area in a few years. I don’t want to ever have to say goodbye to Kim, either. Or Steve. Steve sounds really eager to check out Deerfield for himself too, after I told him all about it.

Kim’s so in love with me. I mean really. She told me how she had another wet dream about me, but she really is sincere and true straight from the heart. Even though I’m not sexually attracted to her she’s so right as a person. That’s the way it always works. Sexual attraction may be forbidden, but no more settling! I’ve done that for 25 years. If not getting someone who I’m attracted to inside and out means being alone, I’ll be alone. Plus, why get what I want for just 2 or 3 weeks?

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20, 1991 I feel shitty, so I’m not going to write much. I couldn’t fall asleep till almost noon yesterday and I had to get up at 6:00 and then an hour later I went grocery shopping. I have felt very groggy all day. Or night, I should say.

Kim called about a vacancy next door to her. She’s going to talk to the owner, but it’ll no doubt be too expensive.

I’m dead tired so I’m going to bed now.

TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 1991 Now I’m even more pissed than I was last night as these antibiotics are like speed. I’ve only slept 2 hours in 30 hours. I just spoke to Kim about it and I think Andy tried to call me this morning. I know he called Brenda but when he called me, I never got to the phone in time. It turned out that Kim wouldn’t have been able to come down last Saturday anyway. I pray I don’t sleep too late tomorrow. I need food, then Wed. I see Martha.

Kim is such a super person. I’m so grateful for her helping me take care of this infection, getting me out of Crack Alley and much more. I told Kim about my ear surgery on building my outer ear and about going to Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary 3 years ago. I told her how the chief of ear surgery took CAT scans which they didn’t have when I was little, and determined that if he opens the closed-up opening, I should hear. I also told her the operation never got done as no one wanted to bother taking me and I didn’t want to disrupt their lives. There’d be a few visits besides the operation itself and several follow-ups. I explained I was too chicken to go alone and didn’t have the money for all these bus tickets back and forth from Boston. Also, the hospital people would never let me go home by bus after having major head surgery. Lastly, I told her with mom being 1400 miles away and Tammy with 3 kids, a husband and a business, there was no help there, either.

She was just as thrilled at the thought as I was even though I tried to block it all out of my mind. I tried telling myself I was born partially deaf, stay that way, it’s nothing new. Her eyes watered as well as mine and she half begged, half demanded she take me through this operation maybe this summer. She said it would thrill her and make her just as happy.

Also, she said I’m stuck with her no matter what. That’s ok with me as she’s one in billions of decent people I can ever get. I told her 3 or 4 years ago, she’d have run like hell and she said, “You never know. You may have been surprised.”

MONDAY, MARCH 18, 1991 Boy, am I pissed at myself and frustrated in general. I just can’t kick my schedule back on days. Bill’s coming tomorrow and I need to go do some food shopping. Also, I want to see Jessie before I leave to get my bathing suits back and see if she wants Toffee. I’m sick of taking care of him. Besides that, I have not seen Jessie or her son in ages.

Both Kim and Andy probably aren’t too happy as I was sleeping when they were due to call.

Yesterday I woke up after 4 hours with an attack. It’s always 4 hours after going to sleep. I woke up mega congested and was so bloated that I could say I was 4 months pregnant and be believed. So, Kim called on her break and came and brought me to the ER.

The doctor I liked took care of me in Fast-Track as the main ER room was swamped. Even though she’s married, me, Kim and several others who work there feel she’s bi. She drops enough hints anyway with the way she was looking at me and asking me all kinds of questions about my being gay with utter interest and fascination. She even told me she liked my underwear. Thought they were quite cute.

My problem turned out to be not a yeast infection but rather a urinary tract infection and I let it go too long. That’s why the congestion never got any better. When you have two different infections and you take medicine that kills only one of them, the other one worsens while the first infection comes back. She gave me Seldane to take along with my Theodur and an antibiotic called Bactrim and crotch cream to ease the irritation.

I received a check from fuel assistance for $488.

I really want to get a new stereo, but first I’ve got to start getting boxes.

Kim came over after Friendly’s, after the ER and took back with her some packed boxes. She was supposed to bring them back over and get more stuff when I fucking overslept.

SUNDAY, MARCH 17, 1991 Well, Andy’s now in New Mexico and will be arriving in Phoenix tomorrow. I haven’t spoken with him since he left on March 12th except for last night. He either calls collect or I call him since it’s Kevin’s problem. I don’t know if I remembered to write about that or not but when Andy was here, he got the phone put in that name and he gave a phony social security number.

When I move the phone will be under Maria S and it’ll be listed. My monthly charge will be $16 and whatever cents. I will not have call-waiting as that has become a major annoyance. Especially if I’m talking long distance or having a serious talk and don’t care to be interrupted. Call-forwarding I don’t need as Kim and I plan to keep our front doors open, therefore, I’ll hear my phone if it rings. I can live without 3-way calling for a while. In Deerfield, they only have pulse dialing anyway.

When I went to call the phone company here in Springfield, they insisted on speaking only to dear old Kevin himself. So I called Hank, my old neighbor from Oswego St., to be Kevin and he did.

I have arranged for Nervous to collect my final bill and either ditch it or keep it. Of course, he’ll keep it. Of course, he’ll probably open it and read it, but that’s fine with me.

Nervous hasn’t gotten his butt up here yet as he’s been working almost 70 hours a week. He says he will as soon as he finds the time. Also, he sounds impressed by Deerfield and my new apartment. I wish Feinstein’s and the Bucket of Cruds would fire him till April 1st.

I have had some very pleasant talks with Mary who still feels bad about what she did. She should, too. I told her that after what happened I was tempted to go to her workplace and make mincemeat out of her there, but didn’t want to get jumped by lots of people who worked there or were customers. I also didn’t want to get arrested either. She said, “I don’t blame you.”

SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 1991 Since I haven’t written in a while, I shall update the last two subjects I wrote about. First of all, I guess there isn’t an arrest warrant out for me. It’s really weird, though, as I came home one afternoon and found a subpoena shoved under my door. It said I must go to court on March 21st. That’s crazy as I never knew they gave you second chances. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do about it, but I sure as hell ain’t worried. Nor do I really give a damn as again, Jenny got what she deserved.

As far as Brenda goes, I did not speak to her for a few days after she snapped me out, but after that, we had some decent talks. She said it’s the coke that’s screwing her up and ruining her life. I admire the fact, once again, that she can admit she’s got a problem but I don’t want to be involved with her cuz of it. Also, the fact that I’m not attracted to her and that she’s not my type still stands. I guess I can now understand some of those that dumped me all the while saying I wasn’t a bad person. I’m not a bad person, just not their type. I just want to be alone more than ever for 10,000 reasons. There’s nothing wrong with being alone, though. Me, myself, and I make a great team.

So, my other news is that Andy left on March 12th. I feel he took a great piece of me with him. I feel alone. I miss him. However, I’m happy for him at the same time. Also, I’ve had a lot of problems with him so I’ll enjoy the break from that.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6, 1991 Well, now there’s a warrant out for my arrest (I think). I wonder if sweet little Jenny will call me about it. Oh well. When I’m ready to take care of it I will.

I am now at CC waiting for Martha. I took the bus here as I am in no mood to associate with Brenda. She’s doing everything I used to do which I haven’t done for many months. She pushes me away and she takes her anger out on me and it all always comes down to sex. She said she wanted to make love to me one more time before I move. I told her I didn’t feel it would be a good idea cuz of how she always says she’s all or nothing. She says she can’t have sex every now and then. She says it’s for memories and that she’s not asking for sex once a week. I told her again, as a reminder, I broke it off with her cuz I felt I wasn’t what she wanted and that we didn’t have enough in common. I also told her I felt it was the right thing to do. It’s happened to me so much and it happens to everyone else all the time, too. This is the 90s. So, last night she was grouchy and she snapped at me.

My hatred towards people only continues to grow and grow. I’m sick of people!

MONDAY, MARCH 4, 1991 I got that apartment!! It’s gorgeous, but it is a little different than Kim’s. I like it better.

Kim and I spoke with Mom and at first, she refused to listen, then Kim melted her right down to the ground. I knew she would. Mom was impressed with the area, which she’s familiar with, everything the apartment has to offer, the price, and Kim and Mark. She kept telling Kim she was a guardian angel. That is true in a way.

I’m moving on April 1st and I’ve sent Russ a written notice. Brenda and Jimmy are also moving on the 1st. Jimmy bought a house here in Forest Park and Brenda’s moving to Palmer. Bonny moved this March 1st.

The night I saw the apartment, Kim and I went roller skating at Interskate 91. I had a blast. I hope to get new skates, though, cuz mine suck. They’re outdoor skates anyway.

Kim came over today and brought back with her some odds and ends. Big bulky stuff that’ll take up valuable box space.

I forgot to mention I had a really good talk with both Nervous and Mary D.

Also, I was right all along about Kim. Kim is very happy with Mark. He’s a great guy but Kim feels he’s too quiet and not exciting in bed. I guess, even though Mark is 28, he’s only been with one other girl before Kim. Kim also told me that she had a wet dream about me and that she’s fantasized about both males and females. Whether Kim is married or not, she’s definitely my type pretty much, but why are they always ugly? I mean Kim’s not ugly, but she’s plain. Even Brenda’s better looking. It goes to prove more and more that God forbids sexual attraction for me personally for some reason.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Fun fact: I flipped between both my blogs multiple times because for some reason I thought I started this post and then abandoned it halfway through or something but no, I hadn’t started this episode at all. So on that promising note, here’s season 4 episode 3.

1.) Ruth, Nevada actually makes sense as a location thing to pop up. Like I know there’s a lot of jokes about PARIS, FRANCE popping up but I’ve literally never heard of Ruth, Nevada before. But also, I don’t particularly care about Sam Owens.

2.) Oh, Sam Owens got fucking fired? Damn. Also, the military blaming scientists for this shit is a little hilarious. Like yes, scientists did it, but they did it FOR the government and military FOR military operations. So to now be like, “DAMN, I CAN’T BELIEVE Y’ALL DID THAT SHIT” is hilarious.

3.) “He’ll lead us right to the girl.” Did y’all fucking check the yellow pages? Because I don’t think Joyce has hidden that she moved to California. Like how are y’all not able to find her going to public school in California? Unless you mean a different girl. Regardless, that line is fucking stupid.

4.) Man, Angela’s really milking this injury.

5.) Jonathan and Argyle are so fucking high and are not helping. They are right that ‘blip’ is a funny word though. Actually never mind, it’s not funny anymore. They ruined it.

6.) Oh, Murray’s cooking, that explains the opera music. Also, Joyce and Murray are being so weird. Lmao Joyce is a terrible liar.

7.) I’m not actually sure the Duffers have ever been high.

8.) Oh, my god, I just realized they gave Angela that stupid cut on her fucking face just so it could mirror Brenner’s injury even though that’s still not fucking how a goddamn skate would injure a person if it’s being smacked against your face.

9.) I’m sure Vecna is terrifying if you’re 14 or really terrified of even the slightest horror thing, but these glimpses of him in the upside down are just funny to me.

10.) Does the basketball team just like, live in an abandoned building?

11.) I hate Jason Carver’s goddamn face.

12.) Steve’s gay little wave at Eddie was so cute.

13.) This team of kids is definitely not reassuring Eddie.

14.) Fred’s body looks slightly less funny than Chrissy’s did but like, still cartoonish.

15.) El really is going through really normal puberty angst. But also Mike is so stupid. Just say love, dude. You do love her. Even if it’s probably not romantic, you do love her.

16.) Oh, I’m betting 5 bucks those cops aren’t real and they’re arresting her for nefarious reasons. Also, Mike, how the fuck are you gonna fix this?

17.) I love that Murray’s like, “Listen, it’s fine that we lied to them. At least two of those kids are gonna spend this time getting high and fucking. And by two of them, I mean Jonathan and whoever the fuck his friend is. I don’t know who he is, but I think they’re narsty.”

18.) But also fuck you, Joyce, don’t talk about that plane crashing.

19.) Manual labor in the snow. Also, since when does Hopper speak Russian? Oh, he’s learning from Enzo? Oh, his name is Antonov. I think I’ve only ever seen fans refer to him as Enzo which is hilarious.

20.) “They were at the game and the trailer park.” Steve, being aware for once: HEY, WE’RE AT THE TRAILER PARK. ARE WE GONNA FUCKING DIE?

21.) I really really think Steve was just being the Protective Friend of the group when he asked to go with Nancy. But also Nancy and Robin are cuuuuuuuute.

22.) That gate was Delayed. Like chop chop, ugly. Next time eat a cop or two.

23.) Vecna has Guilt-O-Vision. And it found Patrick. One of the two black guys the basketball douches will actually hang out with.

24.) Damn, Lucas, Jason just went full on batshit against guys who literally do not know where Eddie is. Lucas, you’re being a real traitor. But also, narratively, having the only black member of the kids be part of his little hunting party feels…bad. And Gross.

25.) HEY, EL. SAY IT WITH ME: WE DON’T FUCKING TALK TO COPS. ASK FOR A GODDAMN LAWYER. THEY’RE LITERALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING TO YOU WITHOUT AN ADULT. JUST SAY LAWYER. JUST SAY LAWYER. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

26.) “She wasn’t even trying to help.” No shit, Jonathan. She’s a cop. Cops don’t help.

27.) Goddamn, Hopper. Honestly, Hopper getting his leg fucked 6 ways to Sunday is so far the most horrifying thing this season and it’s not even shown really.

28.) Robin is autistic. Source: Me. I’m autistic.

29.) Dustin is and idiot sometimes. Steve literally doesn’t have a thing for Nancy anymore. Also, Steve’s not blushing.

30.) Max would rather be anywhere other than in a room talking about her feelings about her dead douchebag stepbrother. I also love that Ms. Kelley keeps her keys very well labeled.

31.) Lucas, I swear to God, if you tell them where Eddie is, I’m gonna crawl into the screen reverse Samara style and kick your ass.

32.) with her hair like this, Millie Bobby Brown looks so much like Winona Ryder.

33.) Oh, nvm, cops were being cops earlier. Now she’s being taken by the feds.

34.) Hi, Sam. You fuckin’ dweeb.

35.) Can we talk about how Alaska DOES have spring. Like, the Duffers know that, right? Right?????????? Actually hold on, gonna confirm with my roommate who grew up in Alaska.

36.) Okay apparently actually the weather question is very complicated and if they flew into Juno or Anchorage then no, they wouldn’t be having very heavy snow, but further north it’s still late for a ton of snow but not impossible. And as for Russia’s weather, IDK.

37.) I googled Nome, Alaska. That’s a coastal city and according to my roommate wouldn’t be getting this kind of snow in March.

38.) Okay I have gotten my silent question of ‘why not just get him to hit the chains’ answered by the guards checking his chains. JESUS HIS FOOT LOOKS BAD. But for real that looks way worse than the fucking corpses do. Oh my god. I’d rather rewatch that goofy ass Vecna murder compilation than to ever see that foot wound again. But also FUCKING NARROW DOWN WHAT KIND OF SHOW YOU ARE. OH MY GOD.

39.) Platonic with a capital P.

40.) A DEMON!!!!! Nancy and Robin are both geniuses.

41.) how did it take the kids 2 fucking hours to talk to Ms. Kelley and then break into the school

42.) Hey how is Hopper doing pushups on that fucking foot?

43.) “What if I told you there was a way, a way to bring them back?” I’d say prove it, asshole.

44.) “My friends, in Hawkins, are you in danger.” Oh no, cutting to Max as she figures out she’s a target.

45.) He could have at least let her take those waffles to go. I’m not saying it’d be a good idea to eat those in a moving car, but if the fate of the world rests on a child’s shoulders, she can eat messy waffles in the back of a car as a treat.

46.) TICK TOCK. THE PLOT IS COMING. And it’s coming for MY GODDAMN DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that fucking Vecna douchebag so much.

[npet-autos-clothes]

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[dudeswithtudes]

#nba #nbafinals #nuggets #heat #jamoramt

Crazy nba finals. I don’t know how heat have done it 3 years in a row. All 3 years they’ve acted like serious contenders, when I myself thought they should blow it up and were barely a playoff team. They proved me wrong with 2 finals and 1 ecf. Potentially best franchise in basketball.

The nuggets, dude they’ve been low key the best team in basketball for the last 3 years. This year I thought they were the clear heavy handed favorite to win it all and still I don’t think many people chose them. They’re just stacked but for reasons, people don’t realize it. They have 4 players who probably would have had all star years had they been on different teams: Jokic(obviously, best in the world), Murray, Gordon(dude this would have been his 20pt all star year had he still been on the Magic, 27 years old, has all that confidence and experience, he would have gone 15pts to 17pts to 20 pts 10 boards this year and would have got like the last roster spot.) and then porter jr, dude this guy wasn’t just the 1 player in his class he was considered generational, had problems w his back and fell to a mid pick. Had he gone at 1 or in the top 5, he would have been the focal point of the team and given the confidence and plays to be a star. You see it all the time while he plays, he just needs plays for him but being the 4th option, he’s not going to get them. And if he does volume shoot he knows he needs to be perfect lest everyone lose their mind for not passing. He may not have led a team to the playoffs by now but he would have been much better known and respected, though I admit he needs to work on something’s (gives a bit of clueless vibe). So yeah most underrated team of all time? No one was going to stop them this year other than a hot warriors team; and then possibly a hot and healthy bucks, suns, sixers or grizzlies. That’s also of note because this was one of the most competitive years of all time, nuggets were still clear favorites, one of the best teams all time, but there were still so many teams that could catch on fire and win.

I’m very worried with lebron, curry and Durant getting older and a less competitive finals that some executive w/ the nba is going to try and prove their worth and how smart they are and try to stir things up for viewership next year when the nuggets will be again the clear favorites. This thirst just destroys sports. Just let it grow organically, don’t turn it into boxing or f1 racing or even the nba has been accused of it in the past. Stop caring about ratings and getting every single dollar you can every year. The nba already has a bad rep in this regard. Lebron is not mj, you guys have polarized it and gotten every single dollar you can out of it in the last decade when kind ruining the integrity of the game. For nearly a decade the east was pointless, an entire conference was pointless because lebron would only have maybe 1 team of note to beat while 6-7 teams would compete for the finals in the west. Now we actually have competition, please don’t ruin that. It also worries me that curry, one of the greatest of all time, broke through during this time to little recognition. And once he did it then became that lebron v curry was the money maker. Essentially the league became curry lebron Durant as the only household names and the only way to get viewership fr the casuals who are just wanting to see history. I’m sure the nba will try to push that again to possibly even a worst degree next year. I don’t know why they are trying to absolute annihilate Ja Morant. He’s young just try to hide his life choices from the public. Don’t try and ruin his confidence that got him to where he is. And make him question whether he’s a total jackass. Just let that come naturally like everyone else I. Their late 20’s. Extremely frustrating, the nba is just so thirsty. They’ll probably keep pumping Durant, lebron and curry full of peds. Instead of developing an exciting new generation. The thing is they punched their MJ ticket too much, they can’t go and take 90’s mj mania and continue to compare every next gen player to him. They do they with Luka or Zion people are going to finally say ok we’re done with that.

So yeah the only thing about these finals, is I can imagine the viewership was very low and it’s going to allow a lot of suits to try and prove how they’re the savior and it will no longer become a sport but clearly entertainment and theater. People are going to watch. Don’t do what boxing did, I was a boxing fanatic until it become too close to theater and every little thing was manufactured.

Anyways, rant done. Congrats to Denver and Miami.

[roving-boi]

Dear Diary..

Hey, so a little good news is I have no school on Monday. Sooo we got a 3 day weekend. Today’s Thursday. So not quite Friday yet. I have a math test to do soon but instead of studying here I am talking about my dumb feelings again. Also some good news is me and my best friend Cristine are gonna play life is strange together. So, I know I don’t really talk about her because I’ve been so fixated on my boyfriend and stuff, but y’know we can give the Simon talk a slight rest for a minute. I’ve been so obsessed with life is strange since it first came out like 8 years ago almost. Well, they put out this remastered version of the first and prequel game. So of course I bought it. Buttt I did wait for it because it was a bit rough at launch unfortunately.

Y’know I really hate getting so excited for a game to come out and then when it does it’s an absolute disaster. I feel like they don’t care about pushing out quality these days. But it’s been about a year now and I think the game is fixed up enough for me to enjoy it. They reanimated the characters and fixed their facial expressions and added some graphical touches to the game and the like. It’s not worth the price though. 40 bucks for both games. Sounds fair right? But not when you consider the fact that the original games are like 20 bucks together. So they doubled the price. I mean I guess it’s understandable but it really isn’t acceptable when you release a broken mess.

Anyway, yeah I bought it. And today after school I’m hoping that I could stream the game for awhile and have Cristine watch me play. I just have the feeling she’d really enjoy it. Honestly the game is so cozy feeling. I love max’s personality. I think Chloe is pretty cool, and I love the art style of the game. I remember I used to stick my hand out and pretend I was rewinding time or something. A little like how I used to pretend pencils were Harry Potter wands. Speaking of that, the new hogwarts legacy game just came out but it’s like extremely controversial because the author of the Harry Potter books is a bit of a bigot and uhhh yeah.. I’m still going to get the game for my birthday, which is coming up in April. I don’t really care about rowling’s business. Im not trying to sound rude or anything. But cmon just let me please enjoy my stupid wizard fantasy in peace.

In other news Simon and I talked about children again. Of course that didn’t turn out well. I don’t think I really want to have a child, but y’know I’m too young to really make that decision and opinion anyway. But the topic came up or something and he was talking about how he doesn’t wanna adopt or anything and I suggest he have his sister surrogate. Y’know there’s nothing really wrong with that. Im just suggesting a method that would technically work IF he wanted to have a child that was genetically accurate. Of course, he shut me down immediately after the suggestion and said it was “hella fucking weird” and this and that. Like okay calm down, it was only a hypothetical suggestion. I’m just saying if for whatever reason you DID end up wanting a kid that’s just a method. That’s all. Gosh. And to be reasonable here it’s not really that weird, at least I don’t think so.

But aside from that fiasco, I’m really wondering if he actually does want a child or not. I feel like maybe he thinks about it, but doesn’t wanna have one while in a uh.. gay relationship. I don’t know maybe I’m wrong. But it feels like if he did want a child, it would be proper. Y’know, between a man and a woman, and a typical genetically accurate child. I mean, I guess that’s not wrong to feel that way. But again I could just be wrong. He probably really doesn’t actually want a child at all and I’m just being dumb and overthinking the situation. I don’t even really want one myself at the moment anyway. So i dunno why I’m looking into it so much.

I did find it a red flag however when we talked about marriage and he said he doesn’t want to marry me. Then blames it on his family. It’s understandable? But like cmon that’s really off putting and i dunno how else to say that.

Anyway guess I’m signing off for now, I hope today turns out good.

[katyswrites]

Dress

summary: Our secret moments in your crowded room; they've got no idea about me and you; there is an indentation in the shape of you; made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

pairing: tasm!peter parker / fem!reader

genre: smut, romance, fluff

wordcount: 4.2k

content warnings: 18+ only, MINORS DNI, smut, nsfw, literally pure filth, some fluff, college!peter, college!reader, fem!reader, established relationship, semi-public sex, secret relationship (kind of), possesive!peter (kind of), oral sex (f and m receiving), titty worshipping, cursing, p in v, fingering, vaginal sex, drunk sex, overstimulation if you squint, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), Peter is whipped for Y/N, also Harry never turned evil because I said so

*CHARACTERS ARE 18+!!!!*

From the moment you walk into the party, you feel his eyes on you. How can you not? You arrive late, knowing he’d be here. When you and your girlfriends enter the house, through the smoke and sweat, you lock eyes with him instantly. He’s across the room, in the corner with his friend Harry, a red Solo cup raised to his lips.

You avert your gaze quickly, eyes flitting to anywhere else in the room. Still, you were looking at him long enough to see him nearly choke on his drink. You smirk as you open your bottle of cider, in spite of yourself. Before leaving your apartment, you had debated whether to wear your little black dress or not - evidently, it’s the right decision. You know he is trying to catch your attention again, to corner you, but you don’t care - at least, you pretend not to. 

“Come on, let’s dance!” Natalie cries, beckoning you into the center of the room. You laugh as your roommate grabs your hand, leading you into the crowd. Soon, you lose yourself in the beat of the music, closing your eyes and swaying with your friends. It’s the same standard shit they played in every frat party you’d ever been to, but you didn’t care - it’s finals week, you’re finally free, and you know Peter Parker is going to be watching. Soon, you’re drunk, sweaty, and feel every care you have dissipating by the minute. Every so often, you even forget that Peter was there somewhere, thinking about you. 

It is thrilling, to say the least - knowing that nobody at this party, including your own best friends, know about you and Peter. You’ve heard them talk, of course, about how hot Peter Parker is, and how they wish they knew more about the mysterious genius who skated to class each day. Little do they know, that every time they brought up Peter, or sat next to him in class, or pried about your love life, that he had fucked you the night before. Or that morning. Or in the car 20 minutes earlier. You and Peter are each other’s dirty little secrets, and you can’t think of anything more exciting. And, although you want to tease him for a bit, you know exactly how tonight would end.

As the minutes fade into hours, you find yourself stumbling to the bathroom. As you wash your hands, you look up at yourself in the mirror. Even though you had felt like a million bucks when you walked into the party, you aren’t so sure now - you’re sweaty, practically leaking alcohol; your hair is beginning to frizz a bit, and your dark lipstick is starting to fade. Still, you know you’re doing about as well as any other girl at this stage in the party - and, you know that you look pretty killer in your dress. You take a deep breath, and open the door to re-enter the chaos outside - only to come face-to-face with Peter.

“Hi,” he says, giving a small grin.

“Hey,” you breathe back. Despite every intention, you still feel warm and weak in the knees when you’re this close to Peter, especially when he won’t tear his eyes away from yours. 

Did he see you going to the bathroom, and follow you? Did he wait for you outside, hoping to get you alone? You secretly hope so.

“I, uh -” you say, stumbling slightly over your words, “I - I brought other drinks… I need to get them… they’re uh - they’re in the bedroom.” You gesture your head down the hall, to the closed door just before the kitchen.

Peter follows your gaze, and nods a little too enthusiastically. “Yeah, right - me too - I mean… I need something, um, from that room too.”

You nod, doing your best to stay nonchalant - you finally tear yourself from the doorway of the bathroom, much to the relief of the line of people waiting for it. Peter waits a moment before heading the same direction, trying not to appear as if he was following you. 

You stumble slightly down the hall, your heeled booties suddenly seeming like a mistake, even though you know they are part of the reason you can feel Peter’s eyes on your ass. You jiggle the handle of the old door and swing it open, walking in. Peter follows a moment later, quickly closing the door and pushing the inner lock.

You turn to him, but before you can even say anything, his hands are on you. He grabs your face, pulling you close and crashing your lips together. Your breath catches in your throat for a moment, before you relax into the kiss. It’s rough, demanding, and everything you need right now. This was beginning to become familiar, easy; it didn’t hurt that Peter knows how to kiss. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, pulling yourself flush to him. He continues to kiss you, tasting cheap beer, and you love everything about it. You open your mouth more, allowing his tongue entrance. As you try to pull back for air, he gently catches your bottom lip in his teeth, a quiet groan escaping from somewhere deep within his chest.

“God, I missed you,” he breathes, panting almost in unison with you. It’s true - with finals, you and him had holed yourselves up in the library, or with study groups, or in office hours - you hadn’t really sought each other in over two weeks.

“Me too,” you gasp, as his lips make their way to your neck, wasting no time in sucking the sensitive skin there. “Peter!” you cry, grabbing onto his shoulders. “That’s gonna leave a mark, they’ll see -”

“I don’t care,” he growls. “I want you to remember this - to remember exactly who you belong to.”

You hate the way your knees almost buckle at that. Sometimes, Peter was slow, gentle, and you could have your way with him - tonight isn’t one of those nights.

“That’s what you get,” he says, between kisses, “for showing up here tonight, looking like that, in that little tight dress.” He never stops assaulting your neck, alternating between sucking and peppering kisses up and down, until he eventually makes his way back to your lips.

You smile at that. “Well you know,” you say, running your fingers through his hair, “I only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

This sets Peter off. He seizes your lips again, pulling your head towards his roughly. You stumble backwards, never breaking the kiss until your knees hit the bed, sending you backwards. 

Peter leans over you, never missing a beat. “Let’s make that come true then, baby,” he says, his fingers toying with the straps of the dress. He pulls the straps down, his hurried desperation suddenly evaporating as he slowly rolls them down your arms. You shimmy up, trying to shove the straps off, but he stops you. 

“Nope - I’m taking my time,” he whispers, his face centimeters from yours. 

Oh - oh. He’s going to draw this out - payback for the first half of the night.

“Fine,” you concede. “Do your worst.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, you think to yourself and he painstakingly rolls the straps down your arms, now opting to go one at a time; first right, then left. Then, he lifts you up slightly, effortlessly - why was he always so strong? - and reaches for the zipper at your back, He ever so slowly pulls the zipper down, but only to just below your shoulder blades before stopping. You huff in protest, but he wastes no time in yanking the top of the dress down, freeing your breasts. You knew a bra would be a waste of time tonight, you think to yourself smugly. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, oggling your breasts as if he’s never seen them before. “Missed your tits so fucking much,” he whispers, burying his face between them. You close your eyes as he reaches his hand up to your left boob, massaging it as he attacks your right one with his mouth. You arch your back and cry out as he sucks on your nipple.

“God, missed your pretty sounds too,” he says, switching to the other breast, “I love how you sound when I touch you.”

“Peter -” you gasp, struggling for breath as his tongue swirls around your nipple, “please -”

“Please what?” he asks innocently, looking up at you with a devilish smirk from between the valley of your breasts.

“I need you - I need you to touch me -” you moan.

“I am touching you,” he says, lazily toying with your nipple between his fingers.

You groan. “You know what I mean.”

Peter smirks, pulling himself back up to you, and pressing a kiss to your lips. “Oh, right,” he replies. His hand snakes down, down, down -

He reaches under the hem your dress, brushing his hand along your soft inner thigh, causing you to shiver slightly. When his hands find your back lace panties, he shoves them to the side. As his fingertips brush against your clit for the first time all night, your eyes roll closed.

He spreads the lips of your cunt with his fingers, tracing circles around your clit with the pad of his thumb. As he runs his fingers along your slit, he whispers “So fucking wet - so wet for me, isn’t that right?”

You bite your lip, throwing your head back as stars dance behind your eyes. Your chest begins to rise and fall rapidly as he continues to stroke your clit. He pauses for a moment. You open your eyes, about to protest, and lock eyes with Peter. His gaze is fixed on yours, biting his lips as he concentrates where he’s reaching down between your legs. Then, he slowly sinks two fingers inside you, causing you to throw your head back again. He begins to pump his fingers, slowly, his thumb returning its attention to your clit. 

You feel the heat pooling between your thighs, fisting your hands in the sheets, rolling your hips into his hand. He speeds up the ministrations of his fingers, brushing against that soft, sensitive part inside you, making your toes curl and your vision start to go white behind your eyes. Yes, yes, yes -

Then, just before you reach your peak, he stops. He quickly withdraws his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. You gasp and groan in frustration, eyes flying open. “What the -” you begin to say, almost crying from desperation.

“Shh, shhh,” he says. “I need to taste you,” he breathes, pressing a kiss to your neck. “I’d rather have you come on my mouth.”

Your heart does a somersault at that. He moves down, getting off the bed, leaving you lying there on the edge. You prop yourself up on your elbows, He reaches once again from your underwear, looking up devilishly at you from between your legs as he rolls it down your legs, baring you to the room. You shiver as the cold air hits your pussy, still sensitive from your almost-orgasm a minute ago. 

He presses a kiss inside your knee, never breaking eye contact with you as he works his way up. It’s only as he’s peppering kisses along your thigh that some common sense re-enters your mind.

“Peter - isn’t this Harry’s room? His bed? Maybe we shouldn’t -”

Peter groans. “Please don’t say Harry’s name when I’m about to go down on you,” he says. His breath tickles your cunt, and you gasp for air. He chuckles, and you know he loves having this effect on you. Before you can say anything else, he buries his head between your thighs, and suddenly nothing else matters. 

He closes his lips around your clit, making your toes curl and your entire body arch, because finally. Every movement of his tongue against your pussy makes you tense anew, new waves of pleasure shooting directly to your core. Your hands reach for something, anything, before finally finding Peter’s hair between your legs. You grab onto the tendrils of brunette hair, eliciting a groan out of him. The vibrations against your cunt are almost too much then and there. He opens his mouth more, messily sucking at your soaked pussy.

His tongue circles your clit steadily, slowly. You wonder how on Earth you can ever think about anything other than this, the feeling of Peter eating you out so effortlessly, while your dress is pushed around your waist, with all of your friends outside the door, oblivious. Your hips jerk, rolling into his face as he continues. He slides his hand up then, sinking two fingers knuckle deep once again into the tightness of your hole. Your breath hitches in your throat. He crooks his fingers, curling them inside you, his tongue never letting up on your clit. He finds a comfortable, unrelenting rhythm, causing your spine to arch and your entire body to seize. You moan, not caring whether anyone outside the door heard you, because it’s too much, it’s everything -

“Peter,” you moan, your voice weak. “Fuck, fuck - I’m - I’m gonna -”

“Do it,” he breathes into your cunt, continuing with his fingers. “Come for me, baby.”

One last curl of his fingers with his tongue on your clit, and the dam breaks. You practically scream, throwing your head harshly back onto the mattress. Everything below your hips is on fire, squeezing and releasing, your pussy practically gushing onto his face. You’re blind with pleasure, moaning as your cunt pulses and squeeze around his still-pumping hand. Peter continues to gently work you through your orgasm, sucking and lapping into you. You aren’t sure how long it takes for you to pass the peak and begin coming back down from your high, but soon you’re laying flat on the mattress, trying to steady your breathes as the remnants of your pleasure ebb and flow through you.

When you open your eyes, Peter’s face is hovering above yours again, evident of your orgasm glistening on his face. He’s wearing a shit-eating grin, and you wipe it off his face by pulling him in for a messy kiss, tasting yourself on him. 

You feel something poke into the side of your thigh, and you realize its his clothed bulge, aching behind his jeans. He groans into your lips, and you smile.

“Let me take care of that for you,” you whisper. Before he can say anything, you’re pushing him onto his back, rolling over him. Your dress is gathered around your waist, your tits hanging out the top, and Peter is far too dressed for your liking. You reach for his t-shirt, gripping the hem. He sits up, swiftly pulling it over his head with one motion, and you’d be lying if seeing that didn’t just get you going again. You’ll never get tired of Peter’s body, you decided - you had no clue how he was always so ripped under everything, he must be a secret gym rat or something - and you pull his into another kiss, pushing him back onto the bed.

“Just relax,” you say, as you begin to kiss down his chest. “It’s your turn now.”

He exhales, throwing his head back as you settle on your knees at the end of the bed. You reach for his belt buckle, freeing him of it and his jeans. He kicks them off, and you smirk at the obvious erection straining against his boxers. You want to tease him back, for payback, but you’re over it by now. You rip them down his legs, not able to free his cock fast enough. It springs forward, slapping against his stomach. The first time you ever saw Peter’s dick, you remember gaping at how big it was, and he just laughed at you, even though you knew he was secretly thrilled. Now, you couldn’t wait to have him in your mouth.

You wrap your hand around his cock, and he hisses at the contact. His eyes flutter closed, and you slowly pump him a few times, reveling in the effect it’s having on him. You lean up, pressing a kiss to the head of his cock, and his hips jerk underneath you. Precum is already leaking out of him, and you spread it around the head with your thumb. You continue to pump him slowly as you wet your lips, before pressing an open-mouthed kiss around the head and taking him into your mouth. 

He groans, almost painfully so. “Fuck, baby - that feels so good.” The words are strained in his throat, and you love it. The fact that this man can be reduced and molded so easily by your touch feels incredible. You take his as far as you can go, sinking you head down on his until you feel his dick nudge the back of your throat, almost gagging you. You pull your head up again, running your tongue along the bottom of his shaft as you do so. His hips buck into your mouth, his breathing labored. When you reach the top, you swirl your lips around the head, before slowly plunging down again, taking almost all of him into your mouth. You glance up at him, loving what you see - his head is thrown back, his neck arching, exposing his Adam’s apple. He’s red and flushed, eyes squeezed shut, biting his lower lip, eyebrows pinched together in pleasure. In that moment, you decide Peter Parker is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. 

His hips jerk again, and his cock twitches in your mouth - you know he won’t last much longer. He does too, as he rasps, “Wait, wait -”

You stop, pulling your mouth off of his cock with a pop. You look up at him, almost innocently, and he groans. “Please, I need - I want to come inside you - I need you -”

You can’t say no to that. You crawl up his body until you’re hovering over him. Without warning, he grabs your wrists, and flips you over until he’s straddling you.

“Now, about this dress -” he rasps, his voice low and rough, “I think it’s about time we get rid of it.”

Before you can react, he reaches around the back and tears through it, not even bothering with the zipper, finally baring all of you under him. He tosses the fabric to the other side of the room, diving into your neck.

“Peter!” you cry. “You just tore my dress -”

“Yeah,” he says, nudging and sucking on the sensitive spot behind your ear. “It was in the way.”

He nudges between your knees with his leg, gently parting them as he settles between them. Your annoyance quickly dissipates as you feel his cock glide along your slick folds, coating the head of his cock in your wetness. 

You gasp, twitching as his cock brushes against your clit. He shifts forward, before slowly pressing himself inside of you. You both sigh together, as he slides in, and in, and in - 

“Fuck,” he says, almost sounding high and dazed. “You always feel so good - so fucking tight and wet for me -”

You nod, biting your lip and grasping onto his shoulder blades. He sinks another few inches deep, until he’s fully inside, bottoming out with a groan. You sink your nails into the skin at the nape of his neck, as he buries his face into the spot where your neck meets your shoulder.

He gives a few shallow thrusts, slowly rolling his hips into yours - God, you missed this. He begins to pick up the pace, thrusting deeper, and you let your head thrust back against the pillow. He grunts as he thrusts into you, matching your moans with growing intensity.

“Oh shit - fuck - hang on a sec -” he says, hooking his hands under your knees and pushing them up, raising your hips and giving him better access for him to thrust into you deeper. You cry out, the new angle allowing his cock to brush right against your g-spot. You begin to roll your hips up to meet his thrusts.

He reaches one hand up to take yours, interlacing your fingers. The gentleness of the gesture along almost sends you over the edge, until his other hand travels back down to circle around your clit again. You practically scream, burying your head into his shoulder to muffle the sound.

“Fuck!” you cry. “That feels so good - you feel so good -”

He murmurs in agreement, continuing his thrusts. 

“Please, Peter,” you gasp. “Harder, faster - I need all of you - oh my God, your cock feels so good -”

You begin rambling, losing your sense of self as Peter fucks you into oblivion. He’s gone too, whispering sweet nothings into your neck.

“Oh my God, you feel amazing - you’re the only one who makes me feel this good, baby - fuckkkk -”

His thrusts are growing erratic, sloppy, and you can tell he’s close. You begin to shake around him, your second orgasm of the night swiftly approaching.

“I’m - I’m close -” you whisper, your hips thrusting into his as he rubs your clit. 

“Do it,” he says. “Come for me, come around my cock.”

You feel your peak quickly approaching, your cunt beginning to pulse. “Wait -” he says. “Look at me - I want to see you when you come.”

You do as he says, your eyes fluttering open and locking with his. He’s flushed, his hair tangled with sweat. Your eyebrows pinch together, almost crying with how beautiful he looks right now. He gives one, two, three more deep thrusts into you, and your orgasm hits you like a tsunami.

You scream, and he muffles it with a sloppy kiss, never stopping his thrusts into you, chasing his own high. Your cunt pulses and squeezes around his cock, your vision going white. You dig your nails into the back of his neck, shaking with pleasure.

He groans deeply into your neck, shuddering as he comes, emptying himself inside of you. You feel his warmth fill you up, painting your insides. He rocks into you slowly a few more times, his cock twitching through the last of his release. 

He collapses on top of you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. You stare up at the ceiling, stroking your fingers through his hair down to the nape of his neck. You both lay like that for a while, allowing your breathing and heartbeats to return to normal. 

Eventually, as Peter softens inside you, he takes a deep breath and pulls out, rolling off of you. You shudder at the feeling of emptiness, and turn on your side to face him. Peter looks back at you from under his dark lashes, his eyes taking you in as if seeing you for the first time. For not the first time last night, your breath catches in your throat at how beautiful he is. You reach out, tracing along the side of your face and down his jaw, He gives a warm smile, nuzzling a bit into the pillow without breaking your gaze. 

“That was -” he begins -

“-yeah,” you finish, unable to say much more. Peter starts to say something else, before a crash and scream followed by laughter outside the door brings you both back to reality. Right, you think, we’re at a party. All of our friends are out there. 

“Fuck you,” you whisper. Peter raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“There’s a hundred people out there, and you tore my favorite dress.”

He smirks. “You dreamed of me tearing that dress off of you.”

You pout slightly, because he’s not wrong. “That doesn’t change the fact that I have nothing to wear now. Or that we just fucked on your best friend’s bed.”

He laughs, hard enough to throw his head back against the pillow. You snort, catching the infectious laughter as you giggle at the ridiculousness of it all. As your laughter dies down, Peter shakes his head.

“You know,” he says, his voice lowering, “I wouldn’t really care if people knew about us.”

You jolt, raising yourself onto your elbow and turning to him.

“...what? But you said -”

He shrugs. “I know what I said - when we started this thing, I - I know I said I wanted to be lowkey, that it was for the best that nobody knew about us. And, I hope you know that has nothing to do with you. It’s just… things are complicated for people who get close to me, especially with other people knowing about it.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What do you -”

“I know it doesn’t make sense,” he interjects. “But trust me on this one, okay?”

You nod, still no better off than you were before. 

He takes a deep breath, breaking the silence.

 “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen - you’re going to text your friends, saying you got an Uber home and didn’t feel well. Then I am going to give you my clothes, and I’ll get you home without anyone seeing. Then you can change and crash there, and your friends and roommates are none the wiser.”

You shake your head. “How do you expect to get out of here with nobody seeing us? And what are you going to wear?”

He smirks again, leaning in close until your lips are practically brushing. “I’ll tell you - but only if you promise to not freak out, okay?”

You furrow your brow, but nod. “Okay - promise.”

After all - what could he possibly be hiding, besides you?

*******************************************************************************************

Author’s note: I hope you all enjoyed this story! I think it has potential to be a series, but I’m not sure yet. Likes and comments are always appreciated! Also, for those who didn’t know, this is based on “Dress” by Taylor Swift :)

[soft-boi-eli]

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

<3

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

[hyunjilicious]

backyard bbq party [bucky barnes]

Summary: You're a college student who hates visiting home. Bucky is new to town and works with your dad. Your mom thinks you need a break from studying and your dad thinks Bucky needs help meeting new people. Smut ensures. 4.5k SMUT

Warnings: Age gap, flirting in inappropriate circumstances, dirty talk, oral - m. receiving, Bucky is cocky and sees right through you, D/s vibes (but not really), very little Daddy kink (one mention), unedited.

A/n: I don't think I have to mention this, but 18+ please!!! Please reblog and lmk if you liked it ❤

-

"Hun-" your mother warmly called as she approached you, a transparent plastic container filled with freshly seasoned raw pieces of meat, in her hands, "Take this to your father, ok?"

With unmistakable disgust on your face, you still faked a smile - all for her sake and took the container from her. It was heavy and you did your best to look anywhere but at it as you crossed the backyard, approaching your dad. He was with his back at you, facing the grill, and a man - which you barely noticed at first, stood by his side.

"Dad?" you sighed, "Mom said you should make these right now"

Their conversation stopped in an instant, and the two men turned to face you.

A smile instantly made its way onto your dad's face, "Didn't think you girls would be done so fast" he commented.

You just shrugged, knowing damn well you did not help prepare the food in any way. However, your eyes landed on the man behind your dad. He was tall, definitely well built, his shirt a size too small and his eyes shamelessly boring into yours.

You fell under his spell in under a second. Or maybe he fell under yours. Something definitely happened. A switch flipped inside your brain, and you knew you'd have to work hard to not allow yourself to do, or at least try to do, anything stupid at your parents party. 

His eyes trailed lower down your body, and judging by the way he fought back a grin, it was clear what he had in mind.

In order to keep things from getting awkward, his lips parted into a dazzling smile, as he extended his hand to you, "You must be, Y/n. I'm James Barnes. You can call me Bucky. Or Buck"

"Oh, yeah!" you dad smiled, "You two haven't met! James is the best damn mechanical engineer I've ever seen"

"You work together?" you squinted your eyes, "I never heard of you before"

"He just moved to the state" you father added, and Bucky nodded in agreement, his hand still slowly shaking yours. 

Feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, you smiled and excused yourself, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Barnes. I'll go now, see if mom needs any more help"

Bucky's eyes didn't leave your frame as you walked away, however you barely managed to take a couple of steps before you heard your mother's voice. "Y/n, baby? Can you go grab the glasses?"

"How many?"

"12" she responded in an instant, and then you took off towards the house.

It was dead silent inside. The house was empty, and already a mess. You took off your sandals and walked over to the cabinets above the sink, pulled out a tray and started looking for the fancy glasses your mother saved for special occasions.

You must've grabbed about 3 or 4 when a deep voice startled you, "Need any help?"

You lightly jumped in surprise, but hoped he didn't notice. "No, it's ok, thank you, though"

"Ok" Bucky mumbled, and you heard the smugness in his tone. 

Unable to fight your instincts, you turned around and looked at him over your shoulder. Leaning against the wall with a small bottle of beer in his hand, he sent you a mischievous wink which almost brought a lump to your throat.

You hurried to turn around and keep gathering the glasses your mother asked for, struggling more and more with each one. When you cleared the first shelf, it was obvious you'd need help reaching the ones higher up, but you weren't about to ask Bucky. Instead, you hiked your dress up your thighs and pushed one of your knees on top of the counter, lifting yourself up just enough to reach the remaining glasses. 

"Careful up there," Bucky laughed, walking over to you.

On a normal day, your palms wouldn’t be shaking and you wouldn't even think about the possibility of dropping a glass or falling off the counter. But he was too close, taking way too much satisfaction from seeing you struggling to maintain your balance. Not to mention the skirt, and the way almost all the skin of your thighs was on display for him.

"You could've asked me to help, you know?" he taunted, taking one more step towards you. There were barely a few inches separating your bodies now, and although you were sure it was your mind playing tricks on you, the heat from his body flooded your senses. He was too close. Too smug, looking at you. But the last straw was when he placed his left hand on the counter, inches away from your knee. That was when you noticed the prosthetic arm as the metallic sound of its vibranium plates overlapping grabbed your full attention. After a momentary lapse of composure, you looked into his eyes but all he did was raise his eyebrows. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"Uh, it's ok" you shook your head, turning back to look at the cabinet. "Just five more"

For the remaining glasses, you grabbed them from the shelf, handing them to Bucky to place them on the tray.

When you were finally done, with a gentle grab of your hips, Bucky helped you off the counter, his hands lingering against the thin material of your dress for a bit too long. But you didn't mind. His touch burned and under his gaze, you found yourself turning around to face him, the proximity being nothing other than obscene especially if you were to take into consideration the age gap, and how you met him.

But that was 20 minutes ago. A moment not so conveniently interrupted by your mother barging in, wondering what was taking you so long. Bucky helped you carry the glasses to the table outside, and after that, you parted ways. 

Even though he went back to the rest of the men gathered around the grill, your mind remained fixed on him. You found it almost impossible not to look for him every other minute, and the fact that he managed to catch you staring everytime, made the butterflies in your stomach go even crazier.

And then it took a little bit of devious and manipulative work on your part - to convince your aunt she got the wrong seat. You told her there was a seating plan, and that she was supposed to sit next to your mum. That opened up a seat left of Bucky, and since that seating plan was as unreal as your chances with him, or so you thought, you had to make sure the seat wouldn't be taken by someone else. And you didn't want to make it obvious - didn't want him to know you only chose that spot after figuring out it was right next to his. So you sprinted back into the house, grabbed your purse and placed it on the chair, pushing it as close as you could to the table, so no one could see it. Maybe it's been there for hours, even before any of the guests even showed up. Who'd know?

But of course, once the food had been served and you were all seated, you had to play your cards right. All your confidence seemed to have vanished ever since Bucky took his seat next to you. Casually sipping his beer, having a taste out every single type of food laid out in front of him, cracking jokes every now and then, and the glimpses… And the winks... And the way whenever he had to turn in your direction, his eyes would first land on you, and only then travel to the person he was having a conversation with.

But that was just the start. Soon enough, his attention was more and more directed towards you. His arm on the back of your chair. His jokes solely for you. 

When you figured it was your time to make the next move, after giggling at one of the stupid puns he just made, you cleared your throat and scanned the table. "James, where did you get the olives? Can you hand me the bowl please? I can't see it"

"Oh, yeah" he said, pushing himself up to grab them for you. But conveniently, the bowl was empty. "There aren't any left, doll." he announced after settling back in his seat.

"That's ok" you smiled, ready to stand up, "I'll go see if there are any inside"

The "No" he whispered was way too low for you to hear, but his metal hand grabbing your thigh and pinning you down in your chair got the message across. You turned to look at him confused, but your plan was already going in a completely different and indisputably better direction.

"Here-" Bucky said, using his fork to pick up one of the olives on his plate. "I'm full anyway"

"Thanks" you nervously laughed, raising your hand to grab the utensil, but he stopped you. 

"Open up"

Only for a second did you stop to consider just how bad of an idea that was, but you hurriedly pushed the thought aside and opened your mouth. Your eyes met his as you lowered yourself and grabbed the olive with your teeth, barely managing to hide your enthusiasm as you slipped it off his fork.

"Good?" Bucky asked.

You nodded, "Very. Thank you"

"No problem, doll"

After that, you returned to your plate - some cheese and salad left. None of them looked too appetising right now, you knew what you wanted - two things, but only one of them would be acceptable. So, you lazily gathered some salad leaves into your fork, and turned to Bucky. "Can I have one more?"

"Hm?" he muttered, removing the beer bottle from his lips and looking at you confused.

"One more olive? Can I?"

Instantly, he smiled. "What was that?"

"Can I have one more-" and when his amused smile turned into a devious grin, you realised what he actually wanted from you. "Please?"

He still wasn't satisfied so he just raised his eyebrows, telling you to try again. 

"James? Can I please have one more olive?" 

"Of course" he taunted. 

You didn't know what you expected, of course you'd have to eat this one out of his fork too. However, this time, he didn't bother helping you at all, instead making you lean all the way into him to grab it. 

"Thanks"

"And call me Bucky, ok?"

"Yeah, ok. Bucky"

As much as you wanted to keep this game going, the atmosphere around the table shifted. Even though your parents were seated at the other end of the table and on the same side, making it impossible for them to see what you were up to, you still felt like you crossed one too many lines. 

When your demeanour changed, so did Bucky's. He leaned back in his seat, shifting uncomfortably for a couple of minutes, until he decided to stand up, announcing he was grabbing another drink for himself. You wanted to ask him to bring one for you too, but before you even managed to get a word out, he was already sprinting towards the house.

In his absence, you tried to calm yourself down and regain your composure, but there was only one thing on your mind. Him. So, against your better judgement, you left your seat at the table too, innocently heading towards the house. 

There you found Bucky, leaning almost all the way in into the fridge, scavenging for another beer. The man emptied your dad's stash before the second course was even served. 

"Whatcha looking for?" you beamed, walking up beside him.

"There's no more beer left" he announced, straightening his back and turning to face you. "I guess I'll have some water"

"I can go and see if there's any in the basement" you offered, "Or you could always go for something stronger"

"What do you suggest?"

"What are you into?"

"What am I into?" Bucky laughed.

"Whiskey?" you questioned, walking around him to open the liquor cabinet. "I hate this rum so I don't recommend it." You grabbed another bottle, "This vodka is amazing, no headaches the morning after."

"That won't be a problem" Bucky chuckled, leaning against the counter. "I'll have whatever you wanna give me"

"You seem like a whiskey kinda guy, is that ok?" 

He nodded in approval, and then watched you pad around the kitchen, grabbing a glass and some ice. "What makes me look like a whiskey kind of guy?"

You took a deep breath, weighing your next words. "Rugged, tall.. handsome. Not my age." You shrugged. "Whiskey". Before allowing him to comment on that, you spoke up again. "What kind of drink do I remind you of?"

He pondered for a second, his eyes studying your every move. "One of those overly sweet girly cocktails, that has way more alcohol than my whiskey, but it's masked by all the syrups and preservatives inside it"

"Really?" you laughed out loud, handing him his glass.

Bucky smiled as he took it from you, raising it as if making a toast, and then took a sip. He licked his lips and sent you an approving nod.

Slowly, you both turned around and started walking out of the kitchen, but unlike you - Bucky stopped in the middle of the house, his voice urging you to do the same. "I'll go out front for a cigarette"

"Can I come, too?" you asked, heart beating out of your chest.

"Please" He urged you, stepping aside and allowing you to walk in front of him. 

With a hand on your waist, he followed you out the front door. It was quiet, the sun shining a bit too bright for your liking. 

You skipped down the stairs onto the pavement, but he stopped and sat down. Bucky spread his legs wide and motioned for you to come in front of him. After you did, with a gentle tug on your hand, he got you to kneel, one step below him. 

"Want a cigarette, doll?" he asked, leaning back to retrieve the pack and lighter from his jeans pocket. 

"No, thanks"

"Don't smoke?"

"Not if there isn't at least a mile between me and my parents" you giggled, placing your hands on his knees. 

"Why?" he raised an eyebrow, lighting up his cigarette and taking a puff. You watched the smoke dissipate to the side, only to have your attention grabbed by him when he placed his free hand on your shoulder. "You're an adult. Have been for years. You live on your own. Why not?"

As he spoke, his fingers curled around the strap of your dress, nonchalantly pulling it down. 

You swallowed thickly, but due to the way he was making you feel, you decided to ignore his action. "What they don't know, can't hurt them, right?"

"Mhm" Bucky agreed, taking another puff and then moving to play with the other strap. "So I was right?"

"About what?"

He shook his head, "Nevermind"

"Tell me!" you whined, pushing yourself up against him. His thighs completely framed your body as you closed the distance between the two of you. "Tell me!"

"Nope" he grinned, his proud smile inches away from your hungry lips.

"Bucky, come on" you pleaded, framing his face into your palms, "Tell me, please"

"No, doll-" he dismissed you, turning his head to the side to smoke. After blowing up the smoke, he threw the cigarette into the ashtray, his hands coming up around your body to rest on your ass.

"Pretty please?" you whined.

"Don't push me" he threatened, his grip on your ass tightening to the point where you almost whimpered out loud. Instead, your eyes just opened wide and you bit your lips.

"Ok" you sighed, playfully defeated, "Ok, fine. Don't tell me. But now I'm sad"

"Of course you are, doll" Bucky laughed, grabbing your chin. "I can tell how sad you are. You're not almost bursting into laughter at all"

"Shut up!" you scoffed, slapping his side, but he interrupted your antics with another rough squeeze of your ass.

Unable to keep calm anymore, you dragged your hands up his thighs, stopping inches away from his member. When you looked up to see his reaction, Bucky was already watching you. 

"Can I?" you pouted.

"Stand up"

"Why-"

"Stand up" he commanded again, slapping your ass before you stood up and settled in front of him. "Take your panties off, doll"

"Here!?" you gasped, "What if anyone-"

"No one's gonna see you if you keep quiet and shuffle out of them like a good girl"

With your heart panging in the back of your throat, you slowly reached under your dress and pulled your underwear down. The feeling of cotton slipping down your legs made your shiver, and by the time your panties fell to the ground, Bucky had already stood up.

Wordlessly, you grabbed them from the floor and handed them to him, "Good girl" he nodded and then stepped out of the way, motioning for you to head inside. 

You did so without any further form of complaint, determined to have your way with him by the end of the party. Dessert hadn't been served yet, so you knew there was still time to get to him.

But once you stepped into the house, you barely managed to make it past the hallway before Bucky grabbed your elbow and dragged you to the side. He forcefully pushed you into the small bathroom by the guest room, slamming the door behind him and locking it in one smooth movement.

Now it all made sense. Nerves and anxiety washed over you, but the good kind. You were bursting with emotion, shivering from every joint as your juices finally started running down your legs. You licked your lips and waited for instructions from him, ready to do absolutely anything he'd tell you to.

"Why don't you show me what you're made out of, hm? I wanna see how fast you can make me cum with that pretty little mouth of yours"

And that was all you needed to hear before you dropped to your knees in front of him, drooling like a good little girl as you watched him undo his pants. Your eagerness got the best of you. He looked divine, especially from that angle. His thick thigh inches away from your face, his metal hand playing with his belt, his hungry eyes staring down at you, his rugged breathing and the perverse view of his cock straining against his clothes. 

Thank god he was fast, because you didn't know how to control yourself anymore. 

When he finally pushed his underwear down and leaned against the wall, you were ready to show him what you were capable of. You wrapped your arms around him, settling your palms on the back of his thighs and sloppily took his cock into your mouth.

"Holy shit-" he cried out loud when you first sucked on his tip, bucking his hips and clenching his thighs.

Eagerly working him from between hollowed cheeks and with your tongue pressed to the underside of his hardening member, you proceeded to look up, innocently blinking at him. The corner of Bucky's mouth tilted upwards, perfectly expressing the immense amount of satisfaction he was getting. 

When the strain on your neck became noticeable, you slipped his cock out of your mouth and wrapped your hand around his base. With delicate and experienced flicks of your tongue against his slit, you worked on shattering his self control, getting more and more wet as his breathing started to accelerate.

"Fuck, Y/n, you little slut-" he gasped, bringing his hand to rest on the top of your head.

You knew what he wanted, but it wasn't his turn to make decisions. Instead, you ignored his gesture and lowered yourself further between his legs, wrapping your lips around his balls. You sucked slowly, applying just the right amount of pressure that you hoped would drive him up the walls.

"Doll, so good. So, so fucking good" he panted, his cock nearly twitching in your hand as you kept pumping along the length.

Pulling back when your neck needed a break, you settled in front of him again, this time mouth open, and placed his tip on your tongue. No physical pleasure from that, but no amount of shadow could hide the pure bliss in his features. Just having you there, on your knees, with his cock on your tongue, was exactly what he needed to see.

"Come on, baby. It's not gonna suck itself" Bucky grunted, rubbing his thumb across your cheek. You nodded eagerly, but he stopped you before taking him back into your mouth. "All the way down, ok? Take my cock all the way down your throat, and when you feel like you can't anymore, go a little further"

You nodded again.

"And don't worry, I'm here to help you, doll"

You wanted to mumble a 'Thank you' but didn't get to, since he hurriedly curled his fingers around your roots and forced your head down his cock. 

The feeling of your throat expanding around him reached your core in no time, making you shiver under his hold. You crumbled to the floor, your knees weak from the sheer feeling of it all, blinking wearily as he kept you down. 

A mere few seconds had passed before, out of nowhere, Bucky pushed you off of him and looked to the door, eyes wide with shock.

"What happened?" you mumbled, wiping your chin.

"Thought I heard something"

"You locked the door" you reminded him, "No one's gonna catch us. And that's a bit of a shame, if you ask me"

"Huh?" Bucky frowned.

"I wouldn't mind people seeing me with your balls in my mouth"

His mouth fell open. "You dirty, little whore"

Wrapping your hand around his cock, you licked his tip and looked up, "Don't act like you don't like that about me"

"I absolutely fucking love it" Bucky scoffed, "Don't know what could have possible made you think I don't like it"

"I was just saying"

"Just.. stop talking. Put that mouth to better use for me, ok?"

"Yes, Daddy" you teased and wrapped your lips around his tip again.

"You little-" Bucky started cursing as he shook his head in disbelief, before a rapid knock against the wooden door made your heart stop.

"Buck?" your father's voice echoed around the bathroom, "You in there?"

Without even thinking twice, Bucky forced you back all the way down on his cock, completely blocking your air supply.

"Yeah! I'm in here!" he yelled as you struggled to keep quiet and muffle the way your body desperately begged for air.

"Have you seen Y/n?" 

"Nope" 

The panic that was running through your veins had your oxygen burning faster than normal, the tears in your eyes being the first sign of it. 

"I can't find her anywhere" you dad went on.

No matter how much you tried and how much training you had, in that moment right there, you found it impossible to fight your gag reflex. Before you knew it, a choked down whimper erupted from your throat, forcing Bucky to cough, loudly, hoping to cover you.

"I haven't seen her, man. But, urgh-" The way your throat convulsed around his cock made Bucky weak too, way too close to his release to be able to sound inconspicuous. "Can I- can I have some pr- privacy now? Please? Just - just a sec"

"Are you feeling ok? Do you need-"

"I'm fine!" Bucky yelled. "I'll be out in a sec"

It was not like you were able to hear anything or even concentrate, but as soon as it was clear, Bucky let you off his cock, as he fell back against the wall and you stumbled into the sink.

Gasping for air, you heaved under his stare, eyes wide in shock. "You know I could've kept perfectly quiet without your cock blocking my throat"

"Where's the fun in that?" he panted, getting ready to finish on his own.

"No!" you stopped him, crawling back to him, "Let me!!"

"Just open your mouth" he grunted, and you obeyed.

It took him approximately 30 seconds to reach his orgasm, his hot cum landing perfectly on your awaiting tongue. His moaning and his breathing, and the way his face contorted through endless expressions of pure bliss, had you neatly coming yourself.

When he was done and after you proudly swallowed all that he had to offer, you stood up to fix your lipstick while Bucky cleaned and dressed himself back up.

"Your best friend called. She's having an emergency, you need to get there as soon as possible"

"What-?" you gasped, confused for just a second before you realised there was no way that could have been true.

"Yeah, and I'm not feeling well, so I'll head home. I can drop you off if you want"

And that was what you told your parents. That they couldn't find you earlier because you were talking on the phone with your best friend, reassuring her that everything would be fine and that you'd meet her as soon as possible.

Your parents weren't happy about it, but they didn't shy away from thanking Bucky a million times for offering to drive you. After a sappy round of goodbyes and promises to visit more often from now on, your parents finally returned to the party while Bucky led you to his car.

Once you got in, you didn't even manage to put your seat belt on before Bucky grabbed your chin and forced his lips against yours, kissing you deeply. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth, tasting every inch of you. He dominated the kiss as you melted in his hold, moaning against his lips before he pulled away.

"Been waiting to do that since I first laid eyes on you"

"What stopped you?"

"Had a feeling it wasn't a good idea" he laughed, starting the engine, "Saw what you did to my dick. It was all pink. Don't know how I would've explained lipstick all over my face to your parents"

"Well, excuse me for not wearing blow job proof lipstick to my parents barbecue"

"You're forgiven" Bucky teased, squeezing your thigh as he pulled out of the driveway.

"But why are we leaving though?" you questioned, "You know I have my own room upstairs, right?"

"I know, I know.. but next time we're nearly getting caught, I don't want it to be by anyone who's seen you in diapers"

You burst into laughter, "Oh god, you're right, yeah, that makes a lot of sense! But where are we going?"

"You'll see"

-

Please reblog if you enjoyed this and hmu with concepts!!!

[ss3890]

20-Day Deity Challenge courtesy of @broomsick : LINK:

So, initially I wasn’t sure what to think about this one. But as I sit down at the end of a very long and exhausting day, I find this exercise to be a valuable one.

I lit my altar, sat on my bed, gazed at my Hecate figurine, and realized that I’ve never sat down to speak to her as I would a friend. It had never occurred to me to do such a thing…and in realizing that, I felt a pang of remorse.

Why was that? Why had that never crossed my mind to do? I don’t really have an answer - maybe it’s easy to take something for granted when it’s seemingly all-knowing and always at your side. Regardless, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have a chat with her every now and then, and I apologized for that.

I almost didn’t sit down and do this before going to bed. I was going to push it to tomorrow, already at my day’s limit for socialization and being engaged with the world at large - but I figured if everyone else got their moment today, then she should have one, too. Bucked up. Made the time.

Had to do it in my head as my husband was sharing the room, but did it all the same. Sat and stared at her, sipped my decaf coffee, and just talked to her.

Told her about how I’m working on morning willpower - on how happy I am when I manage to get out of bed and get breakfast and lunches made for my husband and I. It’s an act of self-discipline and love for my partner that I’m working on making a habit. He works really hard and never made time to take care of himself, and knowing I can help him with that satisfies the nurturer in me. Having him tell me today how deeply he appreciated it and how special it was to be sent off with breakfast and the feeling of love did wonders for my ego, too.

Told her how I’ve been struggling with my patience for others lately, especially strangers.

About how in spite of frustrating hiccups and set-backs at work, I had the positive opportunity to get to know a new co-worker better and reconnect with one I get along with well, but hadn’t had the time to really talk to for some time. I often stay fairly isolated and business oriented…keep my head down, do my work, and go home…often leading to feelings of alienation. Today was a good balm for that.

About how I love bringing home a car full of grain to stock the barn barrels with, because tending my chickens and pigs is one of my many joys in this life.

How I had JUST gotten home and JUST laid my exhausted body down on my bed only to hear a knock of on door and hear my mother let herself in without warning. My mother pretty much annoys me immediately. Truth be told, I really don’t like her and sharing space with her is super draining - but today’s interaction was surprisingly tolerable. She wanted to touch my very round belly, asked permission, and was on cloud fucking nine as she loved on her grandchild. For the first time in forever, feeling her hands on my skin didn’t make me cringe.

Then my dad showed up. Misha started doing those full-belly wiggles as he, my brother, and I chatted around the table. It caught his eye and I asked if he wanted to feel her. He lit up so brightly and came right over to feel her and talk to her. I can’t remember the last time I saw him light up like that. When I told this to Hecate, I was overcome with an emotion I haven’t quite taken the time to understand. Maybe it stems from seeing a parent look at you with such wonder and pride that you are just not at all used to, and didn’t actually know how that felt.

And to end, I thanked her for listening and for always being at my side. Doing this challenge and just taking the time to actively sit down with her has been valuable indeed - strengthening and enlightening a bond that sometimes falls to the background when life demands all that you are just to survive and get though your days. As long as we come back to each other in the end, I suppose that’s the thing that really matters when all the rest is said and done.

[patd--phan]

Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Dadsbestfriend! Bucky (mid/late 40s) x reader (in early/mid twenties)

Summary: Y/N surprises bucky on a business trip and he promises to be hers.

Warnings: SMUTTY stuff (18+ only pleasee), unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (m receiving), riding, teasing, significant age gap, reader takes charge, “Doll/sweets/baby/sweetheart”, some cute ass shit at the beginning and end tho

WC: about 3K im sorry I was really H*rny yesterday and I was unable to do anything about it as i was stuck in the car all damn day

Note: So I was really h*rny yesterday and this happened lol I’m sorry. Loosely based on the song wanna be yours-arctic monkeys. Also this will probably be the only smut I ever write bc I don’t wanna become an 18+ blog or make anyone uncomfortable (not that 18+ blogs are bad tho lemme set that straight, most of my fav blogs are)

PS thank you for the love on my first ever fic with Peter Parker x reader, it made me so happy that ppl didn’t think I suck lol ( and i guess i lied saying i would probably never write another one shot lol)

You do NOT have my permission to repost this anywhere, I will come for u if you plagiarize ok bye

It was no secret that Bucky liked to be in charge in the bedroom, and you had absolutely no problem with that. After all, he was older and more experienced; he knew how to make your body sing. But this week you were craving something a little different. Bucky had been away on a business trip all weekend and you really missed him, not just the sex (but I mean…) but just cuddling and talking to him about your day; you were feeling clingy. You decide to text bucky even though you knew he couldn’t answer right away because he was currently in a meeting.

Y/N: I mis youu :( when will you be back tomorrow?

You just wandered around your apartment for the next 20 minutes, casually checking your phone about every 30 seconds just in case bucky was able to sneak in a text. He finally replied after 30 minutes, right as his meeting was ending at 3.

Bucky: Hey doll, I miss you too <3

Bucky: unfortunately one of the investors this morning had to push their meeting to late tomorrow afternoon, so I’m not gonna be home until very late tomorrow night :(

Y/N: dammit :(

Y/N: well good luck at the pitch meeting tomorrow, I love and miss you <3

Bucky: don’t gimme that pout I know your making doll, ill see you tonight on facetime! :)

Y/N: haha u know me so well, and yes you’ll see me tonight ;) (but I still miss u)

Bucky: I know doll I hate it too, see you tonight. Love you <3

Y/n: love you too <3

You didn’t know if you could go until late Monday without seeing bucky. As you laid on the couch smiling sadly about missing your love, an idea popped into your head. He was only two and a half hours away, and he wouldn’t be back at his hotel for another 4 hours at least. Fuck it, you were gonna go drive to his hotel and surprise him. You couldn’t be away so long, you felt super clingy this weekend and you needed to be on top of with him.

You quickly ran around your apartment, packing an overnight bag and you saw the package that arrived earlier on your floor that you completely forgot about because you couldn’t stop thinking of Bucky. You remembered its contents e(a completely evil lingerie set) and threw it in the bag with a smirk on your face.

The drive to Bucky’s hotel felt like forever and you had to remind yourself to stop speeding because you were so excited. When you finally got to his hotel, you had to convince the manager to give you a key to his room, proving that you were the man’s girlfriend with several pictures on your phone which was slightly embarrassing because in almost every picture, at least one of you was half-naked. Worth it. You thought. When you arrived in his room you quickly went into the bathroom to change into a little black dress (with a surprise underneath). Then as you were sitting on his bed waiting for him, you realized it would still be a while before he would get back, so you decided to tidy up his things, packing his clothes and organizing his suitcase. Pleased with your work, you sat back down on the bed and looked at your phone for a while. You finally got pulled out of your Instagram daze when you heard Bucky’s voice in the hallway laughing at something a coworker said. You quickly threw your phone on the dresser, straightened up you dress, and sat at the edge of the bed with a huge smile on your face, giddy to surprise him.

As he turned the doorknob he was still looking behind him talking to the man. When he finally said goodbye and turned his head around, his eyebrows raised up and his jaw dropped, which was quickly replaced with a smile even larger than yours.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, running towards you and throwing his briefcase on the floor.

He picked you up in a tight hug and you squealed, legs immediately wrapping around his waist.

“I told you you’d see me tonight!” you said, still clung to him like a koala.

“W-what?” He replied, still in shock. Letting your legs fall back to the floor.

“I just missed you too much” you shrugged.

If any human could embody “heart eyes” it was Bucky at that moment- he’s such a softie for you. He pulled your face towards him and gave you one of the most loving kisses you’ve ever had in your life. You were expecting it to be passionate and rough, but it was soft, delicate and loving, and your heart melted into a puddle. After your lips parted, you gazed into each other’s eyes before being pulled up in another tight hug. You giggled and wrapped your legs around him again.

“I guess you missed me too huh?” you laughed.

“Oh doll, you have no idea.”

You wrapped your hands in his hair, massaging his neck and he moaned loudly.

“Mm, that feels nice.” He hummed.

“You tired baby?” you asked, he seemed like he needed some TLC (and you were ready to give it to him).

“I am so exhausted.” He replied, making you frown behind his back.

You slowly slid down his body, back onto your feet again, and kept massaging his head. He looked at you lovingly before looking around his hotel room, his eyebrows pulled in confusion.

“Did you clean up in here?”

“Yep, while I was waiting for ya,” you replied, smiling.

His whole face softened.

“Oh, I really don’t deserve you doll.” Making you smile and shake your head.

“Oh yes you do.” You replied making him smile and his heart flutter in his chest.

He pulled you in for another kiss, this one with more fire and longing in it than the last one. His large hands grabbed you ass to pull you closer to him and you moaned into the kiss. You pressed your body against him even tighter and ran your hands through his hair making him moan. You could feel his pants tent start to grow against you and you smirked and moved you lips down to the side of his neck making him groan.

You pull back and look at him, hard and eyes half lidded, it turns you on so much you feel your panties dampening.

“Hey Buck?” you whisper, lips mere inches apart.

“Hmm?” he hums in response.

“I have another surprise for you.” You whisper into his ear before pulling back to look at his face.

“What’s that, doll?” he whispers.

You smirk and step away from him, noticing the confusion on his face before you pull your dress over your head and throw it onto the floor.

Bucky’s jaw drops, making you bite your lip and smirk even more. This was gonna be fun.

“Oh, fuck me,” He groans.

“Oh, I fully intend on it, Buck” you smirk.

He just groans and starts walking towards you.

“Buck?”

“Yeah sweets?”

“Wanna be mine tonight?”

“Fuck, I’ll be yours forever doll.” He says, making you whimper. You pull him against you by his tie, pressing your bodies together.

Your lips crash and tongues swirl together fighting for dominance. Hands moving up and down each other’s bodies like animals. Bucky squeezing your ass so tight you know there’s gonna be marks.

You both pull back enough so you can shimmy off Bucky’s tie and throw it over his head before unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off him. You then sink to your knees and undo his belt quickly before slowly unzipping his pants, kissing the outside of his member though his pants making him exhale a breath sharply.

“Fuck” he breathes out.

You don’t want to tease him too much (yet) so after another kiss, you shove his pants off and lay down on the bed, his body caging you under him.

The passionate makeout session resumes with Bucky still hard in his boxers pressing against your clothed core. You suddenly remember what you wanted and pull back from the kiss.

“Wait, no” you whisper.

Bucky pulls back, confused and nervous he did something to hurt you.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers.

You take advantage of his confusion and roll him over so you were straddling him with a smirk on your face.

Bucky moans at your actions, core pressing tight against him.

“You said you’d be mine.” You breathe over his lips. Moaning as being in charge is giving you a whole rush of feelings and confidence.

You kiss him, and he lets you dominate the kiss this time, biting his lips and grinding on him. He bucks his hips onto your and you pull back.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll make you feel so good.”

Bucky moans at your words as you start to kiss all the way down his body, leaving little hickies down his chest. When you get towards his boxers he thinks your gonna kiss his member or pull down his boxers, but instead you go back up his chest, licking a stripe from his belly button all the way to one of his nipples, up his neck, to his lips.

Bucky moans, loud. You give him one more kiss before deciding to stop teasing him (kinda). You quickly kiss down his chest again and then plant a few kisses on his aching cock through his boxers. He bucks his hips and is whimpering under you. Fuck, that turns you on. Your big strong boyfriend who could probably crush you with one arm, whimpering and practically begging under you. Your panties are fucking soaked and you don’t think you can deny your own pleasure too much longer. You pull down his boxers and his cock is throbbing and dripping precum.

“Shit” you moan at the sight.

You lick the precum off him and he gives a high pitched moan that goes straight to your core.

“Baby please, I- I can’t.”

“Don’t worry baby I got you.” You reply as you take his full member into your mouth, sucking lightly.

Bucky moans and bucks his hips into your mouth. You push them back down and suck a few more times before getting off of him. He looks worried for a second before you slide your panties off and straddle his cock.

“Still wanna be mine?”

“Always” he replies.

You sink down onto him, jaw dropping and eyes closing at the feeling. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to him no matter how many times he’s been inside you. You both moan as his whole cock is finally buried inside you.

“Fuck Bucky, you feel so fucking good in me.” You moan, starting to rock your hips.

“God, I’m so fucking wet for you.”

Bucky continues to give low moans as you start to ride him.

“Fuck baby, I love you like this.” He says, making you start to ride him harder, moaning at his words.

His hands come grab your hips to help you ride him faster, harder.

“Baby- shit I’m close already.” He pleads.

“All for me? Shit baby aren’t I the lucky one?” You moan.

Bucky’s grip on your hips tighten and he starts to fuck up into you. He was about to blow.

You moan loudly at the feeling. “Cum in me baby please I need it.”

After a particularly hard thrust into your wet pussy you feel him spilling inside you. He lets out one of those vulgar high pitched moans and grunts that make your brain short circuit and your eyes roll back while your pussy clenches around him. You feel yourself getting close, but you want to give him another orgasm, so you sink down on him fully and slowly ride him, hearing him whimpering and moaning. You feel him get hard in you again (thank you supersoldier serum) and you rock back and forth on him. You reach down to rub your clit, but Bucky sees it and swats your hand away, replacing it with his metal one.

“Oh fuck” you moan at the cool sensation.

You start to bounce up and down on him again, the knot in your abdomen building and heating up. You feel yourself close to being undone as you ride him and his other hand runs up your body and squeezes your nipple through your thin lace bra. You moan and feel yourself clench around him, making him moan.

“Fuck- I’m gonna c-“ you get interrupted by the white hot explosion of your orgasm. Your eyes roll back, jaw hangs open and toes curl as you feel that release knock throughout your whole body, making you shake. You let out those high pitched moans and whines that only Bucky makes you feel.

Feeling you clench around him and watching your completely fucked out face, you feel Bucky’s thick cock twitch inside of you, and you moan as you feel him release in you again. Fuck that makes you feel good. So good you can’t think or move and you start to collapse on top of Bucky, but he slightly catches you and lays you down on his chest, both breathing heavy, with his cock still inside you, cum dripping all down your legs and onto Bucky.

You can’t speak, can’t think, the pleasure totally ruining you. After what feels like forever, you feel your breathing start to return to normal, as does Bucky’s, and you feel his hand rubbing up and down your back, grounding you back to earth from wherever on cloud nine you were.

You hum as you feel yourself finally calm down.

“Holy fuck, doll” you feel him lowly whine in your ear. You can only moan lowly in response.

“Baby that was fucking amazing.”

“Mmhmm.” You hum.

“…but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if you keep clenching around me.” He chuckles.

“oh shit, sorry,” you mumble out. You try to push up off of him but the farthest you got was placing your hands on his shoulders before your body gave up on you.

“Oh my God, I can’t move” you whisper. You’re so fucked out, your body won’t respond to your brain anymore.

Bucky moans at your words and slowly rolls both of you so youre on your side facing him. He reaches down and pulls his soft cock out of your pussy, moaning when he sees a burst of cum leaking from you.

You moan at the feeling of him exiting your body. You look him in the eyes and give him a lazy smile. His eyes sparkle back at you and his hand comes up to rub your cheek.

“Mm” you hum at the feeling.

“That was fucking incredible” he says, making you smile wider.

“I’m not disagreeing” you quip.

He chuckles lightly before saying “you gotta do this more often.”

“What, surprise you on business trips?” you question.

“No” he rolls his eyes and smiles, “Well yes actually, but I was talking about you absolutely taking charge tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” you smirk.

“Fuck yeah doll, I don’t think I’ve ever cum as hard. You looked so damn sexy in charge.”

You look away from his eyes, shying at his words, but also they were giving you the confidence to look right back into his eyes and say “I agree” with a smirk.

“I love hearing those high pitched moans you make, It turns me on so much” you admit.

“You know, only you can get those noises out of me, doll” he chides. You blush and smile at him.

He chuckles and you bring his face towards yours and kiss him deeply, tongues meeting together. You both hum into the kiss as his hand rubs down the side of your body.

When you break the kiss, both of you needing a breath, he pulls your body towards him, resting your head on his chest. You hum in peace as he rubs your back.

“I love you so much Y/N” he says and you feel your heart absolutely burst in your chest.

“I love you so much too Buck,” you reply, lifting your head to peck him on the lips before placing your head back on his chest.

You lay in silence for a minute before your mind begins to wander again.

“Did you mean it?” you ask.

“Mean what, doll?”

“That you’ll be mine forever?” you ask. “I mean not just in the sexy way but that you’ll be with me forever?” you ramble out.

“God yes sweetheart, you’re the one for me.” He responds and you didn’t think your heart could explode anymore, but it just did.

You squeeze his shoulder with your hand before coming up to kiss him passionately again, almost crying at all of the love going though you.

“I promise I’m all yours forever too, Buck” you smile at him.

“Good,” he smiles back, and you rest back on his chest, eyes getting droopy.

“Night-night sweetheart.” You feel yourself smile in your sleep.

“Goodnight my love.” You reply, further cuddling into his chest. Bucky feels his heart combust in his chest. God, wasn’t he lucky to have you. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he knew that he was going to assure you that you deserve the world every day for the rest of his life. He kissed the top of your head before falling into a deep sleep, content with his favorite person tight in his arms.

[dothwrites]

13 and 20

13. and 20.--Detective AU and Teacher AU

---

Castiel represses a sigh as he stands up straight. His spine pops as he subtly stretches out the kinks in his aching body.

He'd thought that he was a reasonably fit man, but bending over and scrubbing at filthy floors and tables every day is playing hell with his lower back.

The bell rings, and Castiel curses under his breath as he moves back against the wall. Less than thirty seconds later, all of the doors near him burst open and a flood of teenagers courses into the hallway.

Castiel's had a lot of unpleasant assignments in his life, but going undercover at Carver Edlund High School is among the worst. He thought that he'd seen some of the worst that humanity had to offer: murderers who cared nothing for the pain of their victims, kidnappers who plunged families into turmoil for years, robbers who were willing to kill just in order to get a few quick bucks. But upon seeing the horror show of the cafeteria after a group of freshmen finished lunch, Castiel has to start reevaluating his list of atrocities.

The tardy bell rings, and Castiel sighs as he steps out in the hall. He rolls his eyes at the debris that the students have left behind and grabs his push broom to start clearing it away.

Going undercover at Carver Edlund wasn't Castiel's first choice of assignments, but with several students ending up in the hospital due to drug overdoses, something drastic had to be done. Castiel's job is simple: gather as much intelligence as he can about where the drugs are coming from. If possible, he's to find the dealer and shut the whole production down.

In theory, it's a good assignment. Success here would mean a potential commendation, maybe a promotion if the operation is big enough. But the reality of the situation is much different. Castiel's been masquerading as a member of the maintenance team for a little over a week, and he's no closer to finding the source of the drugs than he was when he started.

His captain had ultimately decided to send him in as a member of the janitorial staff for access reasons: as a janitor, he has keys to every door. Not even lockers are safe from him. There's no place in the school off-limits to him. Unfortunately, it also means that his opportunities for questioning potential suspects are limited: no high school student wants to have long conversations with the janitor. He's reduced to sweeping around gaggles of kids, hoping that they'll just so happen to let something slip.

His plan hasn't worked. So far, he's learned about the latest TikTok challenge, who's rumored to have slept with who, and who on the football team is getting suspended, but drugs? Either these kids are savvier than he gives them credit for, or they don't know anything.

"Oh, sorry, 'scue me... Oh. Hi, Steve."

It takes Castiel just a second too long to respond to the name. Part of that is because he's still not used to answering to his cover name, and part of that is because he's still not sure how to act around Dean Smith.

He braces himself before he turns around, but that still doesn't prepare him for the sight of Dean Smith leaning against the wall. Looking at him is like looking into the sun, if the sun was in a dingy hallway with flickering florescent lights and questionable stains on the floor. Even with those inauspicious surroundings, however, Dean Smith, with his sandy hair, vibrant eyes, freckles, and bright, crooked grin, stands out.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel allows the hint of a smile to cross his face. He'd called Dean 'Mr. Smith' exactly once before Dean had put a stop to it.

"Oh, no," he said, grimacing in distaste, "I get enough of that from the kids. Just Dean, man." Castiel hadn't argued, and the slightly stuffy Mr. Smith became Dean.

"Another beautiful day cleaning up the debris of the world?" Dean gestures towards the small pile of dirt and dust that Castiel has managed to collect.

"It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it," Castiel answers.

No doubt his superiors would be screaming if they could see him right now. Zachariah, his Captain, would sneer, You're there to catch drug dealers, Novak, not to play nice with pretty boy teachers, but Zachariah isn't here right now. Plus, it's not like Castiel's making any headway on the drug dealers, so he might as well indulge his crush with a guy who's miles out of his league.

Dean is the kind of good-looking that gets noticed by modeling companies in the line at the cafe. Castiel has found himself wondering, more than once, what a guy like him is doing substitute teaching. It's obvious that Dean is smart, and he doesn't doubt that he could have a job doing whatever he wanted. Still, Dean's being a substitute teacher works out well for him, so he doesn't complain. Not if it means that he can be just a little closer to him.

Maybe if Castiel wasn't undercover and wearing an unflattering jumpsuit with the name 'Steve' stitched across the front pocket. Maybe if he were dressed in his customary suit and had a badge and gun to flash around. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

"Don't talk to me about dirty jobs," Dean says, his voice entirely too low and insinuating for the circumstances. Heat blooms underneath Castiel's collar.

"Well, I'm not sure what else to talk to you about," he confesses. He resents the broom handle in his hands.

Dean shrugs. His smile is still carefree, but there's something else in his eyes when he says, "What about any books that you've read lately? TV shows that you've watched?" His eyes flash to Castiel's, and his tongue flirts with his lower lip as he asks, "Restaurants that you'd like to go to?"

Castiel's heart stutters. For a second, it sounded like... But that can't be right. Dean can't be inviting him out. Guys like Castiel don't go out with guys like Dean. That's just the way the world works. Maybe if he was Detective Castiel Novak, but now when he's Janitor Steve.

He takes a second too long to answer. By the time that he's managed to figure out that Dean is serious, Dean's expression has shuttered. He flashes a painfully fake smile at Castiel. "Hey, man, don't worry about it. I'll catch you later, okay?"

He's turning to go, and fear grabs at Castiel. He knows that if he lets Dean walk away, then everything will change between them. No more jokes, no more stolen conversations in the hallways. They'll become nothing more than vague, uneasy colleagues, at least until Castiel's assignment ends and he disappears forever from Dean's life.

The indignity of his assignment and the frustration of his ineptitude rises in Castiel, and bursts out of him in a quick call. "Dean!"

Dean turns around. Hope flickers in his eyes before he hides it. "Yeah?" he asks. The carefully blank tone in his voice is like a knife twisting in Castiel's chest.

"I like Italian food," Castiel answers. He offers a hesitant smile towards Dean, hoping against hope that Dean will accept his overture.

After a second, Dean's smile spreads slowly across his face, as bright as the sunrise. "Yeah," he says, nodding slowly, "yeah, I think we could do that."

---

Dean's heart dances in his chest as he walks away from Steve.

He did it. After weeks of ogling and tentatively flirting, he finally asked out the hot janitor.

Steve is a lot more than a pair of pretty blue eyes and a five o'clock shadow that makes Dean's lip yearn for stubble burn, though. (Though Steve does fill out a jumpsuit better than anyone Dean's ever seen. One day, he was lifting a desk onto the dolly so that it could be moved, and Dean thought his eyes were about to pop out of his skull. Between the thick thighs attempting to pop the seams on his pants, and the biceps rippling, Dean hadn't known where to look.) Steve has a wicked sense of humor, an innate sense of kindness, and he's caught every single one of Dean's literary references (the pop culture ones, not so much. Seriously, who's never seen Indiana Jones?). There's more to Steve than meets the eye, and Dean's itching to peel back the dozens of layers.

He ignores the tiny voice in the back of his head (which sounds like an alarming mix of Sam and Bobby) saying Don't get too involved. This is a temporary thing. Dean frowns and tries to tell the voice to shut the fuck up.

He's only here for as long as it takes him to figure out who's bringing drugs into the school. At the first viable lead, he'll be yanked out, and Dean Smith, substitute teacher, will die, to be replaced by Agent Dean Winchester of the DEA.

Because of the environment, there are multiple law enforcement agencies working on this case. There's state police, the DEA, and maybe even a few FBI agents sniffing around. It's naive to believe that there aren't other agents working in the school, but he hasn't come across any yet that he knows of. He's not entirely sure; he lets Bobby deal with all of the inter-agency bullshit. He has his mission and his cover, and Bobby, as his handler, can navigate every other pitfall.

Beyond small talk and leading conversations, Dean hasn't tried to get close with anyone. Every smiling face could conceal an undercover agent or a dealer. With suspicion everywhere, it's best not to succumb to temptation.

Which makes his attraction to Steve all the more intriguing.

Just thinking of the other man sets off a series of fireworks in the pit of Dean's belly.

This is probably a terrible idea, doomed to failure, but Dean is going to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Whistling, he goes back to the classroom and prepares for his next class.