#he fixed the fan. he was never going to change his fate. god.

[mengyan]

shi qingxuan: the wind, he xuan: the water.

shi qingxuan who had swept up he xuan in the warm embrace of his breeze, had stood by his side in the skies, had seen the sun in his clouds, who was the first to truly name him the best of anything and mean it, who crept beneath his skin and laid herself in the hollowness of his chest, who made a ghost human.

he xuan who had sunken so low already, who raged storms in seas and had lungs and a mouth full of salt, who even in death had a stomach that starved for revenge and starved for love and was full of both and neither, who fell and rose like the tides and stayed on his fated / unfated / enemy / not-enemy’s shore.

a dead brother, a broken fan, a fate unchanged, you solve it yourself.

shi qingxuan was always going to go free. he xuan was always going to drown.

[bananasfosterparent]

The difference in AA is his soul being irreversibly gone. That is the point and this is what Larians writers have been hinting at and this is what irks people about AA. The oversexualisation and erasure of his trauma, effectively erasing him as a person. I know we're talking about a fictional character, but if we're gonna go off on the topic, saying something "doesn't matter" is just a cop-out. Astarion didn't need to be "fixed" to the point of emotional lobotomy.

I don't think it's wrong to like or prefer him, but I think it's valid to have opinion on the matter, much like you have yours.

I started to apologize for the length of this, but honestly, since you sent the message, I'm going to respond to every part of it. I'm not sorry for the rambling lol

"The difference in AA is his soul being irreversibly gone."

Okay, show me the quote/scene/dialog in-game where this canonly is said and confirmed? Where does it say the ritual will ever touch his soul or any part of the game talks about his literal soul?

And if by soul you mean the "lose who you are inside" as a metaphor, that's still a matter of opinion and not actually canonly what happens. Astarion is still himself. The "changes" in his personality are shifts to simply adjust to the company he is around. He's essentially code switching.

That is the point and this is what Larians writers have been hinting at and this is what irks people about AA.

Got it. So the point of Astarion's romance is for Larian to write a singular story that has one ending you're "supposed" to enjoy with a "morally good" conclusion, and one ending that's fun and sexy, but "supposed" to be a cautionary warning of how things "shouldn't go". Because that makes sense for a "choose your own adventure" game and that's why the romance stops with AA as soon as you ascend him, and he enslaves and compels your character and you can't continue the romance with him--OH WAIT.

The oversexualisation and erasure of his trauma, effectively erasing him as a person

"The oversexualization".... So you know my Tav's personal motivations and why she chose to ascend him? And you're confident you know I made the roleplay decisions I made because you know it centers entirely and solely around it being to sexualize him?

Interesting.

Because that couldn't be further from the truth. My Tav has an entire story for why she chose to ascend him and it has nothing to do with how sexy it makes him. And it was a story I came up with well before I knew about any of this "sexualization" concept. And as a player, I didn't ascend him because I wanted a sexy vampire. I went into his romance blind and had no idea what would happen when I did it. I ascended him because it narratively made sense for my character and their relationship. But even then, if I wanted a sexy vampire, why is that a bad thing? He's not real.

And I find it so ironic that a lot of spawn fans who are anti-AA only enjoy AA for the sexual parts of that ending. Yet, we're the ones "oversexualizing" him lol

As for "erasure of his trauma"... where do I even start? What does that even mean? lol I'm not gonna lie. You sound young or unaware, but believe it or not, in real life there is more than one way to deal with trauma. And dealing with it in a way you don't agree with doesn't erase the trauma or mean the person is pretending it never happened. Ascended Astarion very much addresses his trauma and exercises a different form of healing.

In a fantasy world, you can actually explore those other options and have the outcome work FOR you, even if it wouldn't in real life. Accepting your fate and trying to align yourself with "morally good" choices is certainly not a bad thing and one way to go. In real life, that's what I agree with, as a Christian and believer in Christ. But Faerun doesn't have a Jesus. They don't have the same real world ideas of morals. They have their own gods, their own history, their own moral perspective outside of our world. Bringing in (your perspective of) our real world morals is a valid way to roleplay, but it's not the "only correct" way to roleplay.

There is the route of overthrowing what was meant to control and destroy you, and taking control of it yourself. Taking what was meant to be against you and making it work for you instead. For me, that's what Astarion's ascension means.

A smaller example of this is if you give Astarion Gandrel's crossbrow to use.

This weapon was designed to work against vampire spawn. It allows for its user to possibly inflict Turn Undead on enemies and gives them advantage in a fight against monster types. And yet, Astarion can wield it and use it effectively. He can take what was created to hurt and destroy him and use it to work for him.

Ascension can be the exact same thing. It's not a matter of which opinion of ascension is morally right. It's a matter of which decision on ascension is right for your Tav and their story with Astarion.

...saying something "doesn't matter" is just a cop-out.

Can you show me where I said "something" "doesn't matter"? Cause it wasn't in any of my recent posts. Are you referring to one of my older ones?

Not only do I not know what part of what post you're referring to, BUT I also don't know what I was talking about, if I even said "something" doesn't matter. I don't know what that "something" is.

Astarion didn't need to be "fixed" to the point of emotional lobotomy.

I'm glad we agree on something. I've seen people claim ascension is "fixing" him (because it eliminates the negative traits of vampirism) and therefore it's weird to call anti-AA spawn fans "fixers". But the difference is trying to change(fix) his morals and view of the world to reflect a "good" worldview (the spawn ending) VS trying to change (fix) his circumstances and lack of control (helping his ascend).

AA fans do not want to change his personality or his mental/emotional state. We want to change his circumstances so that he has a place to be able to make those decisions on his own. And for most of us, Ascension provides that perspective.

Spawn fans want the same thing. But the approach is more to convince him from the inside out that he can make those decisions without ascension. And that's also true. But not more valid or the only way.

But his personality does not change in either ending. In one (spawn ending), he is able to find freedom in just being free of Cazedor and exist the way he always has with a newfound confidence and peace.

In another, he is able to find freedom in taking the helm himself, and holding all the cards to be the one on top. He finds confidence in having the power and being able to wield it, without fear of anything he's had to fear with the negatives of vampirism.

But in both, he is still the same person. He still gets joy out of the same things (killing people, having/causing/observing bloodshed, and causing some chaos), he still has the same personality. The difference is in his circumstances and how he presents himself.

I don't think it's wrong to like or prefer him, but I think it's valid to have opinion on the matter, much like you have yours.

You don't mean that. Because if you did, you wouldn't have a reason to send this anon message in the first place. You wouldn't care enough. It wouldn't matter. You wouldn't have this opinion. You would be able to see value in both endings and respect the positive perspective of ascension even if you don't understand it, without arguing headcanon points like "his soul is irreversibly gone".

Your entire message is literally you trying to tell me it's wrong to like him and that the opinion I have of him is invalid and wrong. I already respect your opinion on both sides of him. Because it's your right to how you roleplay and see him. If you respect mine, you're doing a really awful job at showing it.

Regardless, if that is your intention or not. That's what sending this message says. If you really want to say you respect AA fans for enjoying AA, then stop sending AA fans messages like this and either completely avoid AA and the fans or refrain from trying to argue against it. We can discuss it and not agree while also respecting each other's roleplay choices.

This is not a wrong vs right conversation. It's a "what's your preference?" conversation. Spawn vs Ascended should be like "what's your favorite Pokemon type?"

The sooner that is realized, the better off this fandom will be.

[ohmygodshesinsane]

Matters Most

a micro for @jilymicrofics using March prompt 2: infatuated. Words: 999

Read on Ao3 or Below!

James had been infatuated with the sport since – well, at least the age of two, given the photograph commemorating his birthday party saw him in a jersey that fell to his knees, holding a football bigger than his head.

From then, there had never been anything else. Even his best mates – the groomsmen at his wedding, the godfather of his son, Harry – had been recruited from the very first team he’d played for, in the under-six division. The most difficult part of the game had been remembering which direction they were running in, and not dropping the ball in favour of watching passing seagulls.  Tonight was the culmination of the past nineteen years. His life had been dedicated to footy since he could kind-of toss a footy, and in a matter of hours, he would run out in front of eighty-thousand people to represent his state. Despite the rigours of training, the last few days had proven sleepless. What if he screwed it all up? He was good, of course – good enough to be picked – but he felt like all the attention would be on him. His coach, his teammates, his enemies, the audience – he was fresh meat, and they’d all be eagle-eyed to watch him fumble a pass or knock the ball on. He had to be unimpeachable. Nineteen years of devoted focus needed to pay off.

In all that time, there had only been one blip on the radar. She pressed a kiss to the side of his head. Well, two, actually. The first looped her hands over his shoulders and fixed her green gaze upon him, a smile glimmering at the corners of her lips. Sirius – the aforementioned forever teammate and godfather – bounced the second in his arms on the other side of the maroon-drenched room. They weren’t quite at the point of the changing room itself, where the anxiety would boil into insurmountable adrenaline.

“We’re going to get those nasty Blues and beat them bloody,” Sirius cooed. “Yes, we’re going to make sure all of them end up on the green whistle. Yes, we are! Yes we are!” Harry was ten months old and didn’t appear to have the faintest clue what Sirius was on about, but James couldn’t hold that against him, really.

“We’ll make sure Harry takes some of those rock and water classes or something, keep him nice and peaceful,” Lily said, following James’s line-of-sight with a twisting grin. “No footy for him.” James’s mouth dropped open at the jest. Lily’s nose wrinkled as she laughed. He could’ve kissed her. His hands laid upon her waist.

“Evans,” he said hoarsely.

“Potter,” she corrected, eyes flashing mischievously. “All right, all right. That was too far. We’ll just put him in Aussie Rules.”

James flinched. “Don’t you even say that word.”

“He can be a – lion. Or a sun.”

“God.” James’s head swum. “I’d rather him play for New South Wales, if it came to it.”

“Sacrilege!”

“Better than air-jumpy pirouette circle-field rubbish.”

“Next time you say that, I’m dumping you in Melbourne.”

“I thought you loved me.”

“Only when I’m breathing.”

Lily pressed her lips against his, and James shut his eyes, losing himself in her warmth. The tension knotted in his neck and through his back melted away. His childhood dream loomed on the horizon, growing nearer with every tick of the clock, but win or lose, tonight he would go home to Lily and Harry. 

Lily leaned back, one hand cupping his face. Her dark red hair rather matched his shirt. His hand closed over hers. Their foreheads met. Their lungs worked in sync. She wrapped her other rm around his neck, and he held her close. The rest of the world fell away. It was just James and Lily, as had always been, since that fateful night when they’d been seventeen. The erratic race of his pulse slowed. She was crystalline water and sunny skies. Summer, as the winter cold crept into the stadium, day falling to night. The camera crews had been lurking for hours. Fans hovered outside, waving flags or howling threats.

“I only ask one thing of you tonight,” Lily whispered, her words soft flutters on his lips.

“Anything.” He squinted one eye. “Well, anything but putting Harry in AFL.”

She snorted. “Just – it’s just a game.” James opened his mouth to argue. Lily raised her eyebrows sternly. “It is. I know it’s your first State of Origin, and you want it to be perfect, and to prove yourself – I know. I know how important it is. But at the end of it, it’s just another game of footy. Trust yourself. You’ve played against every one of these blokes before. They’ve been in different jerseys, but they’re the same players. Have tickets on yourself.”

It was James’s turn to arch his eyebrows. “I thought I was too cocky,” he whispered. Lily rolled her eyes.

“It goes without saying – pass the ball, for God’s sake.” She kissed his cheek. “Don’t get in your head about it. You deserve your spot on the team, but you’re not the only person on the team. Unless you pass it to Sirius’s bloody brother at the ten-metre line and he immediately throws himself into a try, the fate of the game isn’t on you.”

James took a deep breath. “I know.”

She disentangled herself from him for a moment, leaving his exposed and afraid as the room swirled around him, full of players and families and overexcited children and teary fathers. But in a moment she returned, Sirius behind her, complaining of kidnapping.

“Quiet,” Lily said briskly. “A Current Affair will hear you.”

Harry, now safe in her arms, reached for James. Their faces lit in twinned amazement. Harry’s tiny features beamed. James’s heart swelled three sizes. This was what mattered.

“Harry,” he choked, eyes dampening. He pulled his wife and son into a hug. They were the biggest victory of his life.

“We love you,” Lily said. “Now go smash them.”

[bookswithsyd]

368 Pages of Pain and Sadness | Heaven Official's Blessing

With a cover like book four’s, I would have never guessed that this was going to be one of the saddest things I’ve read in a while. Book three ended with the gang ended up in the abandoned Temple of Water and Wind, and that is where we pick up the story.

Plans might not have gone right, but there’s nothing that good food can’t fix. The original plan was to eat the best food they could find and a change of destination wasn’t going to stop them. After a Fire Social, a mobbing, and a kidnapping, the plot really gets going. The joys of reading the books include seeing the freak out of Wind Master at the first sighting of the Fire Social, the sharing of passwords (I found it so cute how easy it was for Hua Cheng to get Xie Lian’s password), and an embarrassment filled game of strip questions (seriously, one layer of clothing and they are still fully covered yet they act so scandalized by it).

Now it’s time for the downhill plummet of the emotional stability. After the Wind Master is taken in the flood of people, the hunt for him begins.

I was left with a lot of questions for a lot of this book. Xie Lian’s main tactic of helping the Wind Master was to use the Soul Shifting Spell and taking his place, knowing that he was not going to be effected by the evil spirit (or so he thought). The use of the Wind Master fan as a melee weapon showed both Xie Lian’s skills as a martial god and his inability to quickly adapt to others spiritual weapons (much would anyone in his position). But the main issue that brings up an errie feeling that never seems to leave in this book, is when Xie Lian makes it to a save place for the Wind Master to wait for rescue and switches back bodies.

Why did the Wind Master leave the safe haven made for him? Why did Xie Lian call for the Water Master after they knew where the Wind Master was? And why did the Water Master act the way he did when taking away an extremely distressed Wind Master?

This entire section left me feeling unsettled. Something is clearly wrong and nobody seems to care.

The Main Points

The Wind Master might not have gained Godhood in a legitimate way. Having been cursed as a baby, it seemed that nothing would mean safety. That is- until he ascended to Godhood. But, what did he do to earn his ascension?

Xie Lian is essentially tasked to protect and solve the issue of the Reverend of Empty Words. With the Water Master going into his third trial, it was up to the small group of three gods and a ghost king (who was only there to be close to Xie Lian and watch the chaos).

Going back to my main questions, why was the Water Master so weird when taking away the Wind Master? Well, because he knew that he was hiding dangerous information. He had traded off his little brother’s curse and stole an innocent child’s fate. Sending a stranger to become a ghost and his brother to become a God. All for his selfish desire to save someone he loves.

When the trails go awry, and the gang washes ashore of the Ghost King who rules the waters, it’s time to grab the tissues. Wind Master is found shackled and mentally broken after being separated during the groups war with the waters. The mysterious house they find after comes with not only a room to send everyone home, but a pile of bones later revealed to be the true Earth Master.

So, if the Earth Master is dead, who was travelling with us this whole time? The reveal of the Earth Master being Ghost King Black Water was one that connected a lot of points and added a level of terror. Once again, the Soul Shifting Spell is a life saver (umm life extender?). With the real identity of the Earth Master revealed to the brothers, it’s not much longer until the most traumatizing thing to happen in the story begins.

The death of the Water Master at the hands of Black Water, all while the Wind Master is begging and sobbing is heartbreaking to read. The illustration that depicts the scene only adds to the despair.

The only thing that could make this book worse, is if Ling Wen betrayed everyone and ran off with a dangerous tool right when a mountain is opening to birth a new Ghost King…

My Favorite Parts

Not everything in this book is depressing, only a good amount of it. There are some slice-of-life moments between the tear-jerking ones.

The first one is the care free attitude of Hua Cheng throughout the beginning. Him changing outfits while everyone is frantic is such a small comedic thing that is slipped in but doesn’t feel out of place or distracting. This paired with him getting Xie Lian’s password which was meant to trick you showed how in tune with Xie Lian Hua Cheng actually is.

Field work day is probably my favorite part in this book. Not only do we get domestic Hualian working together, but we also get jealous Xie Lian when asked about Hua Cheng’s relationship status. The lightheartedness of this section took me away from the dread I was feeling and I think that proves who well written this series is.

And of course, who can forget the retrieval of spiritual power scenes. With one being about taming a wild Ghost King going mad (Having to explain this to prove that the cover image was NOT WHAT YOU THINK was… tiring), and the other one being a protective need to keep Xie Lian at Puqi Shrine instead of with the Wind Master showed how far they will go for each other. Instead of running away like Hua Cheng told him, Xie Lian stays and bares the brunt of the strong spiritual energy because he couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain. Instead of staying out of fighting and letting Xie Lian help the Wind Master, Hua Cheng seems scared every time the Soul Shifting Spell is used, to the point where he takes back the spiritual energy being used to get Xie Lian back to him.

Wrap Up

This book marks the halfway point of the series. I’m not sure where it is going to go now that Xie Lian has lost two people who he saw as his only friends in the upper court. His world has been turned upside down, not knowing if the Wind Master is alive or dead, and knowing that Ling Wen has gone against the heavens for some unknown reason.

The only good thing is that Hua Cheng is there for him no matter what happens. I can feel the stakes raising as the heavens prepare to fight against a new Ghost King, so I can’t wait to see what Heaven Official’s Blessing has to offer next.

[neutronity]

Heaven Official Blessing Thoughts

To avoid shouting into my friends' faces about this series, I'll shout some things here. Be warned, spoilers (sort of).

HuaLian is a god tier ship.

Why? Easy. Because it's another take on the fan ascending trope, which is hard to do well. It's a ship that at first, XL is a literal God who has asked a small hopeless and luckless child to live from him. Talk about an imbalance, right?

Well, sometimes those worshipful and obsessive relationships end in tragedy and darkness. But here, while Hua Cheng's obsessive worship never disappears, it becomes something that is consented to. Xie Lian knows of this, and he leans into it.

Add to that, Hua Cheng spent 800+ years growing himself to become someone worthy of protecting Xie Lian. He became matched in power and cleverness to the one who he devoted himself to.

When they finally reunite, Hua Cheng is Xie Lian's equal. Not just in terms of martial prowess either, but in terms of banter and intelligence and power. Hua Cheng might not have been working so hard to guarantee that he was a worthy partner to Xie Lian, but he sure became one.

Fate ordained that their paths would cross and they would be bound to each other by the red string of fate, but it was ultimately their choice too. Hua Cheng chose Xie Lian when he was still a fledgling god, and his choice never wavered. Xie Lian too chose Hua Cheng, over and over again. There is no doubt that although Hua Cheng would continue to protect Xie Lian, he never would force Xie Lian to be with him.

People say that these two invented love, but I think the thing that made this work so beautifully well is not the destined love, but instead the chosen love.

BeefLeaf is what ships are made of

MXTX does a really good job wading into moral ambiguity. The demon kings are good as much as bad, and the gods are as bad as they are good.

So when Shi Qingxuan finds out that his brother stole someone else's fate to make him a god, and that person lost so much because of it, we're faced with asking what the price of revenge is.

We also find out that Shi Qingxuan does not bear a grudge for what He Xuan does to his brother, and that he does not change who he is when he's stripped of godhood and becomes a beggar. He is still cheerful and gregarious, still makes friends easily.

A ray of sunshine who forgives the vengeance-driven (ghost) king of gloom? And once He Xuan has gotten his revenge, instead of fading away, he's still there fixing the windmaster fan? Delicious. Delectable. Scrumptious.

We also learn that most of the gods had abandoned Shi Qingxuan nearly the moment everything fell apart, even with how generous and gregarious he always was. Xie Lian is one of the only people who remains his friend.

He Xuan, even against his will, also can't help but remain friends with the former Windmaster.

It's not canon at all, but my BeefLeaf loving brain says He Xuan stays and takes care of Shi Qingxuan until Shi Qingxuan ascends again. And even though it's clear that they're married, He Xuan still denies it.

Banyue and Pei Xiu

Ghost/God pairings are just too good. We know what Jun Wu was going for in setting up Xie Lian to take the fall for Pei Xiu's banishment, but it's also clear to me that instead of making an enemy, Xie Lian's defense and protection of Banyue (and likely jogging Pei Xiu's memory of General Hua) earned Xie Lian another dedicated ally.

I don't think Pei Xiu ever told Banyue that he was in love with her. And honestly, a 200 year banishment into the mortal realm meant 200 years away from Heavenly duties so he could be with his beloved ghost girl.

Another not-canon, but I like to imagine Banyue decides to restore her land and the oasis, and goes the route of the kiln to do so, becoming the third kickass supreme in love with a god.

Ling Wen deserves a vacation

Yes yes, the grandmaster scholar bends the way the wind blows, but can we really blame her? Poor woman has not gotten a break in centuries because she is so damn good at her job that people mistake her for a man and Heaven falls to shambles when she's gone for less than a week.

She is a queen amongst gods, and even as she will stab you in the back if she has to choose between you and her survival? Well... maybe if you gave her a vacation and some rest here and there she wouldn't have to plot your demise, okay?

Xie Lian seems to be one of the only people who comments on this and actually insists she take a vacation, and Hua Cheng is basically the worst person in the universe to make an enemy of, so perhaps Ling Wen will determine that loyalty to Xie Lian is the best way to go, and even finds that she doesn't hate that fact.

What can I say, I am a Ling Wen stan.

[look-mom-percys-on-the-tv]

Ep 5 reactions

spoilers beneath the cut for s1e5 and minor spoilers for most of the books, but I censored the traitor's name. mostly positive tone.

ANNABETH SAW THE FUCKING FATES

"Im the last one to realize this aren't I" A LITTLE BIT

I love Percy admitting there he was really ONLY in it for Sally. Poseidon does ONE good thing and all of a sudden it's "wait I think the conspiracy to start war betten the gods is... important?" SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET REASONABLE PARENTING EXPECTATIONS? A certain god could be taking notes, specifically the patent of [REDACTED]

go off Percy with the emotional intelligence. A for effort

and an A PLUS to Annabeth for the sharing important info and being vulnerable.

I see that coat covering the bike seat. there's human skin on that thing, isn't there?

LIVING the portrayal of Ares as man-baby who starts twitter fights. average maturity level of anyone who likes war.

"there's no fear in you, is there?" STAWPPP

THEY KEPT THE MANHUNT PLOT🎉🎉🎉🎉 also the Gabe is Gabe-ing. Manipulate mansplain manwhore on the most literal level. except disney probably cut the womanizer bit.

the whole "Im immature as shit but my threats are real, I hold all the cards" THE GOD OF WAR IS GODOFWAR-ING

"can I walk them to the door" IS HE GONNA RUN FOR IT? they're really letting Grover miss out on this quest, huh? I mean I guess it makes sense. PLUS it means more Grover-exclusive scenes! MY BOYY

that's a lie. there HAVE to be corny movie nights at camp, right?

ALSO botl movie date, anyone?👀👀👀👀

is that? a JOKE I HEAR??? poking fun at Percy? a little. Genuine? ALSO TRUE. If you told me that "amusing" line was Liften from the book and I've just forgotten about it all five million times I read it, I WOULD BELIEVE YOU

Annabeth who complimented Circe's loom when Percy got cursed🤝 Annabeth who complimented Hepheastus when Percy got trapped

the way she says push before telling him what it is😭😭😭

WE'VE MET BEFORE. I'M 24. A FAN!? GROVER WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT

songs about feelings that was PERSONAL

*insert Coach Hedge talking about nature*

Annabeth asking what Ares need the kids for if he wants the bolt/thinks their quest means nothing🤝 Grover gaslight girlbossing : doing detective work under Percy's nose

OOOH good detail with Percy being caught up with all the "3000 year-old goss" because HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM hi sally i fuckign love u

"don't even try to tell me not to be weird about this" we love an honest queen. While I kinda miss book Annabeth being a bit stompy and whiny at this part, I do think that the show version suits its own characterization of Annabeth, saying whatever she thinks needs to be said.

this whole show, I've been able to see everything. episode five DO NOT be the one to let me down! PLEASE!

THE SONG omg i wasnt expecting that. miraculous movie flashbacks fr.

W CONVO. DOUBLEYOU CONVO. nothing to add. perfection.

Also. don't shoot but the song choice unironically fits Hephaestus's story.

SWIMMING

is that a giant gold naked statue of Hera? to taunt them for cheating on him? hypocrite.

"they like to ignore what doesn't fit their narrative" [REDACTED] APOLOGISTS TAKE NOTES.

also, SMOOTH AF

okay there's no way Annabeth doesn't know that story. there's ONE way to take a god's power and she doesn't know it? at least let them tell it in tandem! a little "Yeah I recognize the chair, what of it?" THEN let the touchy-feely boy present the bargain. AT LEAST.

SHE'S NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM

"do you need some help?" "FUCK OFF" that's Annabeth

in the one hand, I am not a fan of depriving Annabeth of her super wisdom hero moment. on the other hand, placing responsibility to fix things on the perpetrators instead of those kids from Season ONE queen shit, and showing people can change. slay, but PLEASE let Annabeth do some more puzzle shit!

THE SHIELD LOOKS SO BIG IN HER HANDS

THESE FUCKIGN TWELMVE YEAR OLDS

OH so [REDACTED] and Ares conspired to make sure the trio never makes it there, not just using the magic things that activate at a certain place, but also by DIRECTING THEM TO THE TIME FREEZE ON PURPOSE

TO SUMMON WHAT

that interaction. SO THEM

YOU KNOW WHO WHATTED THE WHAT

[vanillelace]

in my dreams ( park sunghoon )

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; warnings – angst ( death and mentions of it, mentions of blood ), slight fluff ( the entire fic is sort of like flashbacks or rewinds into the reader’s life ), cursing (a lot I think), quite serious problems like cardiac arrest (illness? unsure) and stroke mentions (i don’t mention them in depth)

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; pairings – gwisin park sunghoon x y/n, ending includes a different ship that I wanna keep a surprise :)

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; genre – angst!! the entire fic is sort of supernatural, a bit of fluff, supernatural au, gwisin au (ghost, basically)

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; wordcount – 14364

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; synopsis – “in my dreams, you’re here with me.”        in which sunghoon left you long ago, but you still seem to feel him around you, in everything you do.

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; author's note –  DO READ THIS.        IN MY DREAMS is a fan-fiction written as a part of the ‘So Ends The Myth’ collab hosted by @svngcore . This fiction in no way represents the myth Gwisin (or spirit) accurately. It is my interpretation of the myth, and I’d advise you to research about it separately. On a lighter note, I’ve been trying to get over my writer’s block so here I am! Also, my new school starts May 22 (it’s 23 January 2022 right now) and I won’t be active from then (not like I am anyway 🤡👍).

FIC BELOW THE CUT.

——— PRESENT DAY

“Y/N, you’re zoning out again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

You bow in apology to your secretary at work, who shakes her head and strides off. “You say this every time, but it doesn’t seem to change. Take a break.”

You hate to admit it, but ever since he left, nothing’s been the same. The effects of the loss on you hadn’t worn off, although it had been over a year since that extremely traumatic night.

The night Sunghoon died.

The night you lost the love of your life.

29 May.

——— 29 MAY, 20XX

“Oh my God, Y/N, you look beautiful.” Sunghoon said, hugging you from behind as you struggled to spray perfume on yourself. “You’re not too bad yourself, Sunghoon,” you grinned, returning his hug as comfortably as you could.

Looking back, that was the last hug you two would share, as you later found out.

“Thanks, sweetheart. Need any help?” He suppressed a laugh as you shook the perfume bottle aggressively, trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Shaking your head in reply, you finally fixed it and sprayed it where it was necessary. Sunghoon chuckled lightly, twirling you around. 

“What’s this all for?” You asked him, laughing in return as he spun you around your bedroom. “Ah, why not, eh?” He replied, placing a kiss on your forehead. You blushed, and he smiled. “When do you want to leave? We can leave right now, we’ll reach in quite enough time.”

“Sure, let’s go.”

That would be one of the last times you would see him without blood scarring his beautiful face.

He opened the door for you to make sure you were able to sit comfortably in your dress, being the gentleman he was. As he sat in the driver’s seat, he said, “Happy anniversary, Y/N.” You smiled and replied, “And a very happy anniversary to you too, Park Sunghoon.”

As he accelerated on the nearly empty road, you wondered how you got so lucky. How did you get such a wonderful boyfriend? 

That was one thing you had never figured out, and it scared you.

All that happiness dissipated within ten seconds. How was it so easy for that emotion to fly away? Or, rather, get shredded so spectacularly? And to be replaced by fear and anxiety so quickly?

You barely registered when the drunk truck driver swerved into your car. Sunghoon hit the brakes as fast as he could, but he was too late.

Within a snap of fate’s cruel fingers, you lost the one lover you had ever laughed and lived your life with. Even loved.

Sunghoon had made sure the impact of the crash would be felt on his side of the car, and the only major injuries you had suffered were mental. Other than that, you had been bruised and scratched.

Sunghoon, on the other hand? Not so much. Or, so less, rather. The glass that had reluctantly broken had pierced into his head, and he had broken a major part of the  right side of his body. You were in a daze as approaching vehicles stopped, and some of them helped you and Sunghoon out of the car. The drunk driver had sped away in fear, and you really hadn’t cared at the time. 

The only thought in your head was that you lost Park Sunghoon.

The love of your life.

And everything would never, ever be the same.

You didn’t feel the tears that streamed down your face, or the pain you felt thanks to the minor cuts on your arm. You were numb. The ambulance arrived and carried the two of you away, but it had barely reached the hospital that the doctors in the vehicle pronounced him dead.

The one thing they (very wrongly) didn’t pronounce dead was your heart, and all your emotions with it.

——— PRESENT DAY

“Earth to Y/N?”

“Yeah, yeah, Yunjin, I’m here,” you tell Huh Yunjin, your closest friend and current roommate. She shakes her head and sighs, sitting next to you on the sofa.

After work, you had taken the bus back home, as you usually did after the accident. You never set foot in a car, and it had been so long. Yunjin kept trying to get you to move on, that is, sit in a car, but she failed miserably every time.

“Y/N, you need to go to therapy. Please understand what I’m saying. It must have been so traumatizing, which I know, so you need to try and heal. You’re letting it disrupt your life. I understand that he was the love of your life. I’m not trying to be insensitive. But please, he wouldn’t have wanted you to live your life out like this.”

“Well, he hopefully didn’t want to die either, but here we are, Yunjin.”

Yunjin bites her lip, and you realize you may have been just a bit too harsh on her. She’s only trying to help you, after all.

“I’m sorry for acting this way, Yunjin, but I’m trying. Please let me try my way. It’s probably difficult to see me like this, wasting away, but really. Sunghoon was all I wanted to be with, apart from you. You have the love of your life, Yunjin. I don’t, and it hurts so much. I’m not saying I’m jealous of you, but don’t you think I don’t know what I’m missing out on? Nothing will be the same even if I try dating someone else. As for the therapist, Yunjin, do you think the newspapers will stay silent if they see me off to the therapist? My mom will say, ‘Ah, Y/N, our failure of a daughter, now off to the shrink? Good. Waste of time.’ And the newspapers will reflect the same.

“Look, I’m trying. If I could have arranged to see a therapist in private, I would’ve. But with my dad ill, I’m all the business has left. Mom has to take care of Dad. She doesn’t have a choice. Once I get a break from work, I’ll definitely work on myself. I swear.

“Thanks for caring, Yunjin.”

“Y/N!” Yunjin cries out, seeing your nose bleed. “Argh, not again…” you sigh, as Yunjin runs for a tissue. The nosebleed problem isn’t quite major, but it is rather annoying. Especially in such situations. Extremely inconvenient. 

“Anyways,” you begin, waiting for Yunjin to continue. “Ah, Y/N, why can’t you just try to ask someone for help, just for once! It’s not going to harm you, or your work. Trust me. Please.”

“Yunjin, we have the same conversation daily, but what good comes out of it? Breathe. I’m working on it. Try meditating. It really helps!”

“Y/N, you use humor to cope. It’s not healthy. Please.”

“Let’s end this right now. I’m too tired to fight. Yunjin, let’s have a meal and sleep. Believe me, I’ll just let the bad times pass by at the company and then get in touch with a therapist.”

You both know that might never happen, but Yunjin decides it’s an okay-ish excuse to begin eating, knowing that nothing ever good comes out of fighting.

—————— 🦢

The nightmares stopped two months ago, but of course, sleep is a tiring process for you. Sunghoon’s comforting arms usually helped you sleep, but that is out of the question now. All you can do is silently fade into the darkness, allowing it to swallow you whole, no matter what you may dream of. To avoid the nightmares, you never think about the accident at night, and always convince yourself, like a fool, that Sunghoon is out on a business trip of some sort, and he will return tomorrow, of course he will. He loves you, so why won’t he?

He loves you, but he’s dead. 

You continue deluding yourself, disapproving of all the unhappy thoughts at night, embracing them during the day. During the day, nightmares can’t haunt you. At night, they attack you from every direction, every angle, battering and bruising you until you are exhausted. But on the bright side, it’s been a while since you’ve had a nightmare.

And God, are you thankful.

As your mind runs through all of this, you twist and turn in your bed, willing yourself to fall asleep for once. The room is dark, just the way you like it, and there’s nothing that you can mistake for an entity of any sort. No chairs with clothes on them that make you wonder if it really is a chair (is it though?) or lights that successfully fail to be stable (your mental health is stabler, which is making a statement).

So why do you feel something on your cheek?

A lover’s caress? The devil’s touch? You’re unsure, but you don’t know how to speak.

Then you see him.

Park Sunghoon.

Definitely the devil’s touch, you think to yourself.

Park Sunghoon, the love of your life, floating leglessly. The same ethereal beauty in all of his features, but more… frightening, yes, that’s the word. Frighteningly handsome. But something’s off.

He’s dead.

If he’s dead…

Who is this?

You want to shriek, scream, call for help, but an invisible object muffles your voice, disallowing you from speaking a single word. 

“Y/N…”

Sunghoon, Sunghoon, you’re dead, but if not, give me a sign that this is you, you desperately think.

“Y/N, it’s me. I can speak. But I’m not alive. I can’t stay in the real world for too long in a visible form, so I will leave you now. Wait for me to communicate with you. Please don’t do anything fatal to yourself. I have seen your every thought, and I know what you are capable of doing to yourself just to be united with me. Stop. I need to go now. Stay… a… live…”

You watch as he fades away with his mystical voice, unable to believe anything.

The one thing you’re sure of is that you definitely need to sleep.

And you definitely should take Yunjin up on her offer of a therapist.

—————— 🦢

“Yunjin, recommend some therapists for me, please,” you mumble as Yunjin prepares breakfast for the two of you. 

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard what I said.”

“Yeah, but I think I can hear it again!” Yunjin turns and smiles at you, and you sigh. “Therapists. Please.”

“Finally. May I ask what convinced you to make this decision?” Yunjin asks sweetly, squeezing some lime into what you assume is a salad.

The previous night’s chaos runs through your head, and you think to yourself. If I even suggest that such a thing happened, she’ll practically kick me out of here to visit a psychiatrist immediately. Maybe I can cut down on the incidents.

“Oh, I thought through our conversation and came to this conclusion, because I realized you were right.”

“We’ve had the same conversation, like, every day. What changed this time?”

“I.. erm.. I opened my mind to your words..?”

You know Yunjin can’t be so easily swayed, but she accepts it with an inclination of her head. “Sure, I’ll accept that for now, until you decide to tell me what really happened. Anyways, I think I’ll leave for work now, have your breakfast, and drink some water. I’ve packed your lunch, you don’t need to cook, but dinner’s on you. Bye! Have a nice day, Y/N.”

“You too, Yunjin. What’re you doing at work today?”

Yunjin works as an influencer, a job so flexible it suits Yunjin perfectly. She usually vlogs, but she produces music occasionally, too. You’ve heard her voice so often, but it’s very, very difficult to find it dull. Her voice has a soothing aura about it, and when she hits each note, you’ll think to yourself, yes, this is how music should be sung.

So it’s not very surprising when you check her YouTube to see that she has over ten million subscribers. Her channel, Jenaissante, is popular for the down-to-earth vlogs she creates, and you occasionally feature on it, too.

As heir to one of the biggest record labels in the industry, ZEN Entertainment, you have a public image to maintain, and God, does it get stressful. You’re an only child, and your father is in a critical condition. Your mother is quite harsh, but you know it’s all for your own good. She is the only reason you have such a strong image in public, and the reason your father is still alive.

———   JANUARY 20XX

A few months before Sunghoon’s death, the two of you were on your way to your family home. But before you were even home, your mother called.

One call that changed how your life was.

“Y/N! It’s your father, he had a cardiac arrest, we’re at the hospital, meet us there. You know the one. The doctors aren’t sure he’ll make it. Please come as soon as you can.”

Your eyes went wide, and you turned to Sunghoon, who was extremely confused.

“Y/N, what is it?”

You remained silent, still trying to process everything. “Y/N! Answer me, please!”

“Sunghoon, it’s my father. He’s had a heart attack. I’ll drive, switch places.”

“No, Y/N, I’ll drive. You’re in shock. Just send me the location. What did your mother say? Will he be fine?”

“The doctors aren’t sure if he’ll make it, Sunghoon. I sent you the location. Please, let’s get there as fast as possible.”

By some miracle, he made it. Your mother was in tears. That was one of the days you saw her completely broken.

———   FEBRUARY, THE SAME YEAR

That happiness didn’t last for long. The next month, your father had a stroke. He was left unable to remember a major part of his life, and almost paralyzed. His communication was limited in terms of spoken language, but he communicated just fine through other means. He remembered you, your family, Yunjin, but couldn’t recollect Sunghoon’s presence in his life. He remembered his company, but was unable to run it, leaving its burden on you.

You weren’t angry about it. It wasn’t his fault. Your mother didn’t want you to do his work, because the industry was incredibly toxic, and words were flung around carelessly at each and every setting. But did you have a choice?

After your father had a stroke, your mother had to look after him, but she did attend board meetings whenever she could online. Sunghoon helped you as much as possible, but he had his own work to do, too.

Yunjin assisted in your work wherever she could. The marketing aspect of your work was done by Yunjin on behalf of you, because she had a better idea of it.

When Sunghoon died, however, Yunjin took over your work with your secretary, putting a hold on her own life for you. Your mother attended board meetings and you looked after your father. He was rapidly healing, but he did have the occasional loss in memory. His paralysis would always be present, but he was regaining use of his speech, making life easier for you and your mother.

He was trying his best to make it easy for you, because your mother explained whom you had lost. At the funeral, you and your family met with Sunghoon’s parents, who were heartbroken.

“We don’t have any reason at all to blame you. I just hope you heal, honey, because that’s what our son would’ve wanted.” Mr Park was extremely understanding, and so was his wife. After that statement, you apologized profusely and bowed, and Mrs Park, unable to speak, hugged you tightly.

That was another day your own mother was completely broken, seeing her daughter grieving.

—————— 🦢

Your brain swimming with thoughts, too many thoughts, you leave your house, heading into work. After a few months, you took over from Yunjin again, allowing Yunjin to go back to her work. Your secretary was like a sister to you at the time, and continues to be one. 

“Welcome, Y/N, what would you like to drink?”

“Relax, Kazuha, I’ll prepare something for you instead. What do you want?”

Kazuha grins, “A coffee would be good. You know my type, right?”

“Yeah, no sugar, black coffee, whipped cream on the side. Quite weird, but okay, I guess.”

Kazuha thumps your back in indignation, walking off to pick up your mail. You laugh and go to the kitchen, bumping into one of your artists, Nishimura Riki.

“Oh, hi, Riki, how come you’re at the company today?”

“Ah, Ms Y/N, hello,” he bows, and smiles. “My vocal trainer asked me to meet here, he wants to try recording a demo.”

“Interesting! What time? I’ll see if I can make it, my schedule isn’t that busy today.”

“In an hour or so. Hope to see you there, ma’am.”

You smile and bow, and leave the kitchen with the coffees in hand. “Hey, Kazuha, what’s this I hear about Ni-ki recording a demo? Didn’t he release a whole album, like, last month?”

Kazuha nods, sipping her coffee. “Yeah, he did, but if I’m not wrong, he’s taking a break from work for two months on behalf of his exams. He’s about to finish an early bachelor’s degree in Japanese and also in Economics.”

“Oh, wow! That’s great. How come I wasn’t aware of this?”

“Oh.. this was approved when Yunjin was working with me. I gave you a file on it, remember?”

“Ah. Must’ve slipped my mind. Sorry. What’s on our schedules today?”

“You’ll be meeting with the rival company’s CEO for lunch in three hours. I’ll be 

meeting with an artist from another company whose contract is going to end soon to see if she’ll join us. You asked me to check when her contract ends, remember? Hanni Pham?”

“Ah, yes. Isn’t she in a group, though?”

“They might join us. I’ll check. If she and her group joins us, we’re in for a good time at the company.”

“I soundly agree, Kazuha. Good luck getting them to join us, though. When exactly do they get to renew their contracts?”

“Around four more months. May, I think.”

Ah. Shit.

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, definitely. You’re leaving right now?”

“I have to, it’s far away. Hopefully this meeting goes well. Take care!” Kazuha crosses her fingers and leaves the room, and you wave after her.

Get it together, Y/N. This is an important part of your time as CEO of ZEN Entertainment. If NewJeans joins you, you’re set for life.

It will be two years then. Will you be able to manage to stay under control?

—————— 🦢

“Hello, Ms Y/N.” The producer hops to his feet and bows, and so does Ni-ki. “Hello. I was curious about the production, which Ni-ki told me about. So I’m here to just watch. I’ll be doing my work, but I’ll be paying attention. Go about your work and pretend I’m not there!”

The producer nods, and goes back into discussion with Ni-ki. “I’m thinking we do something from your usual concept. What we’ve seen from you is a… dark theme, but we can try something brighter this time. Who’s to say that you can’t do a cute concept?”

“I actually agree. Let’s go for it. So do we go with the lyrics I provided, or the one the lyricist did?”

“I think we can go with a mix. Let’s work on that for the next hour or so. We also have a backing track ready, but I might have to get that modified. We won’t be doing a ballad, right?”

“No, I don’t feel like that’s going to suit me very much.”

“Okay then. Let’s get to work on the lyrics. ma’am, would you like to oversee this? Since Ni-ki wrote a lot of potential lyrics.”

“Sure.” You get up, walking over to where there are multiple sheets of words written in messy handwriting. 

“Ignore the mess, please. I work better when I’m in a rush.” Ni-ki smiles, sorting the whole mess out. “It’s fine, don’t worry. You’re a very young artist. I’m honestly glad to see you comfortable with creating your own music. It goes a long way, believe me.”

“Thank you, I’m honored,” Ni-ki bows, and pins some sheets together. “Uhm, ma’am, I need to take this call, will it be fine if you’re here? It’s a personal emergency.”

“Don’t worry, take the call. I’ll be here.”

The producer rushes out, speaking in his native language incredibly quickly. “Anyway, I like the look of these lyrics. I think you’ve had a… messed up, partying teen vibe with some vampires in the mix?”

“Yeah, indeed. I honestly didn’t know where the concept would go. So I came up with these. A sudden change in the concept will shoo some of my fans away. But I think I’ll gain some fans too. That’s beneficial to both me and the company, so.. yeah.”

“Valid point. So you’re going for a teen love concept now?”

“Yep. I’m not boasting, but I am very young. So I should go with such concepts, because as a teenager myself, it’s easy for me to represent such topics.”

“Right. You are very smart, Ni-ki. I like it. You have a mind made for such work.”

“Thank you.”

As you both settle in comfortable silence, you read the lyrics carefully. The album Ni-ki is working on revolves around the theme of young love, right from the meeting to the goodbyes. You can’t help but think of your goodbye to your first love, but you shake away the thoughts.

«It was a pretty sunset, 

We didn’t want the moment to end

Right from the hello, you caught my eye

And now I just can’t say goodbye

To you, the one I like

If this is young love, I don’t want it

To you I can’t bear to bid a farewell

If it’s you I’ll love, please don’t be my first

I know how first loves end, all too well

Is this what young love is?

After that day, we met often

We both knew we had fallen

The first handshake, you caught my eye

And now I just can’t say goodbye

To you, the one I like

If this is young love, I don’t want it

To you I can’t bear to bid a farewell

If it’s you I’ll love, please don’t be my first

I know how first loves end, all too well

Is this what young love is?

Just stay a while, stay right there

Maybe then we’ll last forever

Just don’t fall for me, let’s not be our firsts

We both know how this is going to end

If this is young love, I can’t have it

To you, one day, I’ll say goodbye

I can’t have you, if you’ll be my first

Can’t bear to see you cry

Is this what young love is?

This is what young love is»

“Ni-ki, this is amazing. Seriously.”

“Thank you. I’m going to combine it with the lyricist’s bridge, though. I don’t like the one I wrote.”

“You can do what you want, but this is really good. I like the ending. If you play it right, this can be a masterpiece. You need to conclude it well, so that the listener bursts into tears.”

“I don’t exactly want my fans to cry—“

“But that’s the sign of a good song —“

“So I’ll have to make them cry.” Ni-ki finished, pursing his lips together.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You grin, lounging in the chair.

“Okay then. The goal is now to make people cry. Good.” Ni-ki says, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Are you being sarcastic to your boss?” You ask teasingly, and he aggressively shakes his head. 

“Oh, no, of course not.” Ni-ki hastily retracts his words, and you laugh.

Suddenly, something catches your eye. “Ni-ki, is this yours?”

“How can it be? It has a name engraved on it. Could be the producer’s.”

He takes the briefcase that you’re holding to check the name.

“Uhm.. ma’am, it says Park Sung-hoon on it..”

You blink. “What?” “Yes. And I know for a fact the producer is not Park Sung-hoon. Oh, you know what? Could be the choreographer’s. Park Ji-sung. Maybe we’re reading it wrong—“

“Give it to me. Let’s see if we’re really wrong.”

You snatch the briefcase and see the name engraved in it. “It’s Park Sung-hoon, alright. And I’m also sure that I don’t have a single employee with that name who visited here today. I’ll announce this.”

“But maybe you should open it? Just in case they have documents of themselves. It would make it easier for you.”

“Right. Smart idea.” You say, unzipping the case.

And immediately you drop it.

“It’s my dead boyfriend’s.”

—————— 🦢

You had a panic attack after that little incident, and Ni-ki had to take you to the on-hand nurse, meant for the artists. 

“You fine, ma’am?” The nurse asks, concerned at the expression your face holds. “Yeah, I am. Thank you. Where’s Ni-ki?”

“He’s outside.”

You get up to meet him, and he immediately gets up from the chair he was sitting on, seeing you exit consciously. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. But I am so confused,” you mumble, lost in thought. 

Am I going crazy? Are these signs?

“You aren’t crazy,” Ni-ki assures you, as if he read your mind. “It’s a normal reaction that an average human would show. Don’t worry. You worry too much, and this was just a small side effect of that worry. Go home, and get some rest. Believe me. You need it.”

You nod absentmindedly and wave at Ni-ki, who waves back with a look of concern, knowing nothing in what he said went into your head. 

You walk on, in your own train of thoughts, and you don’t even notice when you walk into another employee. “Argh—“

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, are you fine?” You ask, helping the unknown person up. “Yes, I am, thank you, ma’am,” he mumbles in a deep voice, gathering his papers. “This may seem rude, but who are you?”

“I’m actually a choreographer, my name’s Park Ji-sung. And I know who you are, obviously. Nice to meet you.” He answers, smiling and offering his free hand for you to shake. You do so, and help him organize his papers. “What are these for, if I may ask?”

“These are actually my personal documents, I always carry a set of them with me just in case.”

“Documents, as in?”

“Passports, medical records, etc.”

“I see. And these?”

“One of my artist's songs. In fact, here he comes. Ni-ki, hey.”

“Oh, hi, Jisung, I see you met Ms. Y/N. ma’am, he choreographed my hit song, Sweet Season.”

You remember vaguely that the song went viral for its unique choreography, and the footwork being incredibly detailed. People were also talking about the up-and-coming choreographer, but you didn't know at the time who he was at all.

“Oh! That’s great. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Park. I’m so glad you’re in charge of Ni-ki’s new song. It’s going to be great.”

“You’ve seen the lyrics?”

“Yes, and approved. We were in the studio not too long ago.” You smile, and Ni-ki nods. “Yeah, then she had an emergency to attend to, so I walked her off.” He adds, and Jisung nods his head slowly. 

“I see. It’s been really nice talking to you, ma’am, but I really have to get started on Ni-ki’s choreography. If you’ve approved the song, I’ll assume that it’s going to be released. Ni-ki, let’s go. Goodbye, Ms. Y/N.”

“Bye ma’am!” Ni-ki waves, and you call after them, “You guys can call me by my name!”

“Bye, Y/N!” Jisung turns and bows, then rushes to the practice room. You smile, getting back to your office.

Ni-ki and Jisung seem fun.

—————— 🦢

“Kazuha! Hi! How was the meeting?”

“WE HAVE THEM ON BOARD!”

Kazuha runs up to you and hugs you tightly, and you pat her back. “Let’s celebrate. Are you free after work? Dinner’s on me back home with Yunjin, so I would much rather take you guys out. You’ve seen my cooking, haven’t you?”

Kazuha shudders jokingly, and smiles. “Definitely free. Will it be just the three of us?”

“I might invite Ni-ki and his choreographer. I feel like we’ll all get along really well.”

“Okay. That’s fine.”

“Come with me after work, you can come over to my house and get ready with me and Yunjin. You’re done with all your meetings, right? Go home, and pack some clothes.”

“Okay, then I’ll come back to the office, and leave with you?”

“Yep.”

“Alright.”

“Pack clothes to stay over, just in case we get back late.”

“Alright. Also, have you met with the CEO already?”

Shit.

“Y/N!”

“I’M LEAVING! GOING RIGHT NOW!” You hurriedly grab your coat and purse and rush out of your office, going to the nearest bus stop and sitting in a corner.

“Ma’am, I’m on my way. My apologies, I didn’t mean to be this late, but an emergency popped up.”

“No worries, ma’am. I’m waiting. When you reach, ask for Yoo Ji-min.”

“Sure, I will. See you there.”

You disconnect the phone, sighing in relief. Yoo Ji-min is the CEO of MY Entertainment.

Jimin has a nice personality, and the two of you aren’t really on bad terms. However, you do sometimes have friendly arguments over who gets to scout whom. You still haven’t reached a conclusion on that argument, but for the sake of being civil, the two of you agreed to push it under the rug for now. 

As you reach the stop, you exit the bus, looking around for the restaurant that Jimin has reserved for the meeting. “Hi, table for two under the name Yoo Ji-min?” You ask the receptionist, slightly out of breath, who nods, leading you to a table in the back. 

“Jimin!”

“Y/N!”

She gets up from her seat, looking as pretty as ever in a formal black dress. “Nice to see you. So glad you could make it. How’ve you been?”

“I’m okay, Jimin. It’s great to see you, too. How are you doing lately? I hear that you’ve been busy, based on the amount of work your company has been doing.”

“Yeah, I’m good. But busy indeed. Honestly, the amount of time I’ve been spending at the company is more than the time I spend at home. Super hectic, but that's fine. As a CEO, that’s bound to happen.”

“Indeed. You should probably take a break, though.”

“And let you steal the show?” Jimin laughs teasingly. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on, Jimin. Thought we were over this by now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I didn’t call you here on business. I just called you to meet, as acquaintances.”

“Really? And you don’t want anything from me?”

“Nope. I owe you many favors, but I just can’t seem to get the opportunity to repay them. I should be asking you if you need anything.”

“I don’t. Maybe a break would be nice though.”

Jimin laughs with you, nodding her head. “Maybe we can take a break together.”

“Someday, when everything is back to normal at our companies. But I think we would have to be friends for that.”

“You made a good point there, Y/N. Well, I do want to be friends with you, but it might get odd at times. Do you know, I barely have any friends?”

“I do, actually. This industry gets so lonely, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. Minjeong, Ning and Aeri are the only people helping my sanity at the moment, to be quite frank with you.”

“Yunjin and Kazuha too, although Kazuha isn’t so much a friend as a sister to me. And Yunjin is practically family to even my parents now.”

“I could say the same about Ning. Although I’m getting to know the other two better now, thankfully.”

The waiter comes over to take your orders, and the two of you order non-alcoholic drinks. The waiter nods and walks away, leaving you two alone again.

“I just had a great idea. How about we girls get together? Just us? You, me, my three friends, Yunjin and Kazuha?”

“Sounds good, but I’ll get back to you on that. I have some stuff going on with some of my artists, but that should be over in a month or two. What about then?”

“I agree, my work should have died down by then. Let’s do it. Should we swear on it?” Jimin asks jokingly, and you nod, mock seriously. “Let’s.”

The two of you laugh lightly, and enjoy the rest of the meeting with small talk.

—————— 🦢

That was awkward at the start, but Jimin really is nice. One day, when we both quit our jobs, I hope we stay friends. You think to yourself, entering your office with your head down. 

“Hi, Ms. Y/N! Ms. Nakamura informed us that you invited us to dinner?”

You nod, seeing Kazuha, Ni-ki, and Park Jisung in your office, and answer Ni-ki. “Yeah, I did. We just signed an important contract, and I felt like inviting you guys for fun. Don’t think of this as a conflict of interest, but I would like to get to know you guys better.”

“I wouldn’t think of it as anything else, but we know you’re friends with Ms. Kazuha over here.” Jisung says in his signature deep voice. “Right!” Ni-ki agrees, and you smile. “Anyway, you guys can meet us there, it’s the trending new restaurant everyone’s obsessed about. I got us a reservation there.”

“Wait, really?” Kazuha asks, slightly surprised. “Yeah, I just never asked you to book a table,” you laugh at Kazuha’s expression. 

After a bit of discussion of the plans, the boys leave and you and Kazuha head back to your place, where Yunjin is waiting to pounce on you. 

“Y/N! How was the lunch I packed for you?” She asks sweetly, and your heart drops. “Oh.. eh.. it was nice, but since I couldn’t eat all of it, I gave it to the choreographer, Park Jisung.” Kazuha, to her credit, says nothing and smiles furtively at you from behind Yunjin. 

“Ah, isn’t he coming with us? I’ll definitely check with him.”

As soon as Yunjin leaves, you stuff the rice she had packed for you in the morning into a different box and hide it away in the refrigerator. Kazuha giggles and walks away, zipping her lips as a sign of secrecy. 

The three of you get dressed, and help each other with your hair, makeup and what-not. You leave just in time in order to reach the restaurant to claim your reservation, and when you reach, you see the guys already seated at the table.

“We assumed that the table would be under your name,” Jisung shrugs. “You assumed well, I suppose, because otherwise you wouldn’t be here,” Yunjin says, sitting down. “I’d assume you’re Park Jisung. So, tell me, how did you like the rice I prepared? Y/N gave it to you, right?”

“Yes, she did. I loved it. The spice, however, was not up to my level,” Jisung smirks. “Oh. So she did give it to you. Fine, Y/N, I believe you.” Yunjin accepts defeat and moves on to talk to Ni-ki about his exams.

Kazuha also gets involved in the conversation, leaving you and Jisung to talk. “I owe you one,” You say to Jisung, who smiles. “Yeah, you do. You’d gone out for a meal with Yoo Ji-min, right? It’s all over the news.” He says casually, and you frown.

“Is it? Strange. What are they saying?” “You don't need to know, but they basically say you’re out.. having fun, and they can’t help but wonder about some things. Forget it, you really don’t have to know.”

“No, tell me. What do they wonder about?”

“Ms. Y/N—“

“Go ahead.”

“They’re wondering if you already moved on from..”

“Oh.”

Jisung scrutinizes your micro expressions, and he pats your hand. “Ma’am, you don’t have to worry about what they say. I just believe it’s in your best interest if you know.”

“I see. Thank you for informing me. I won’t comment on them, of course. Best to let the fire die down by itself. Besides, she’s a rival CEO. Even if I become friends with her, no one would believe us, quite frankly.”

“You’re right! See, this is why you shouldn’t bother with this. They just believe what they want to.”

“I genuinely hate the press sometimes.” “Everyone in the industry does, ma’am.” He replies. “You don’t have to call me ma’am, Mr. Park.”

“In that case, you don’t have to call me Mr. Park, Y/N.”

“Right you are, Jisung.”

And so the evening goes on, and everyone gets along surprisingly well. “Cheers to this wonderful evening. Ni-ki, I really hope that’s not alcohol.”

“It isn’t, mom. It’s just apple juice, I swear.” You nod sarcastically and toast. 

The evening ends after dinner, and everyone parts their ways. Kazuha goes home, since it isn’t really late. You and Yunjin head home and go to your own rooms. 

“Y/N.”

You start in shock, and turn around slowly. “Y/N, don’t be scared. I swear, I’m safe. You’re safe.”

“Sunghoon, I’m going crazy. You’re dead, and my mind just doesn’t want to accept it.”

“I am dead, but this is my spirit. I’ve come back as a Gwisin, Y/N. The reason I’m here is so you move on from me. And I’m here right now to convince you. Like I said last time, I can’t be here for too long. So listen to me. You need to move on. If I don’t come to the real world for some time, I can save up on energy and I can stay for longer. The briefcase? It was me. Look, I’ll come back in two days. Or a week. Keep a watch for me. I’ll try to stay with you forever, but it’s not gonna happen, for sure. You aren’t going crazy, just remember that.

“Even if I’m gone, it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Stay alive, Y/N.”

“Sunghoon!” You call out softly, but he’s gone already.

He’s gone, like he always is.

—————— 🦢

“Y/N, have you seen the headlines? The news outlets are having a field day with last night’s dinner.” Yunjin wakes you up in the morning with incredible news.

“What is it?” You yawn. Thanks to Sunghoon’s speech, you had not gotten even a wink of sleep the previous night.

“People think you’re dating Park Jisung. Some are saying that you’re showing favoritism toward Ni-ki. And there are now rumors of me and Ni-ki, which is SO wrong.”

“Ugh, I’ll talk to Kazuha about this crap. I guess I’ll release a press release. And you should ignore the Ni-ki rumors, I’ll get our agency to release some announcement about it. And don’t worry, you can post, but I think I can use this to some advantage, so please wait, would you?”

“Y/N, I trust you, so I’ll wait. But please don’t let this blow up badly.”

“I won’t, I promise.” You cross a finger over your heart, doing the iconic promise thing. Yunjin smiles, sipping her tea. “Right, it’s my turn for breakfast. What do you want?” 

“You know, I have been craving a Greek yogurt bowl..”

“The yogurt you made? And adding açaí in it with that vanilla essence?”

“Yes! You know me so well. And maybe that matcha coffee latte I love.”

“On it. Anything else?”

“Nope! Thank you.”

You smile and turn away to prepare your breakfast and Yunjin’s bowl and latte. Yunjin usually makes her own latte, so her entrusting you with it must mean something, definitely. She makes the matcha part and coffee part, mixes them both in milk and ice, and then adds honey as a sweetener. It tastes heavenly, but it takes too much thinking for you to actually make it daily.

“Here’s your breakfast. Let’s have a good meal!”

The two of you eat, gossiping about the goings-on in Yunjin’s industry, you gasping when you hear shocking stuff. After the meal, the two of you rush off to get ready, and wish each other luck on your respective days. 

You groan as you enter your office, not looking forward to talking to Kazuha about the rumors flying left, right and center. “Morning, Y/N. I take it you’ve seen the news.”

Kazuha’s grim face greets you at the door, and you nod, rubbing your forehead to try and relieve yourself. “Well then, what do we do?” Kazuha asks you, and you think about it.

“I think we should do two press releases. One for the dating rumors of me and Jisung, and the one of Yunjin and Ni-ki, which is TERRIBLE, by the way. The second one should be handled carefully. The other press release will be about the alleged favoritism. Can you make it so we’re promoting his new album and denying the partiality? Something like, ‘Ms. Y/N congratulates their young and successful artist, Ni-ki, on his new self-produced album by treating him and his choreographer to dinner with her assistant Ms. Kazuha and best friend and popular influencer Huh Yunjin.’ I’m sure it’s not a crime.”

“That’s genius. I’ll get the PR team to do something. Is it fine if the favoritism article comes in a newspaper instead of the agency? It’ll sound better that way.”

“Yes, but consult the PR. And ask the two to meet me here. I’ll get to work on the NewJeans contract draft.”

“Yes, you do that. You don’t really have anything else, I think. If you can talk to the creative and talents team about the new auditions, it would be great.  And you should probably meet the group personally. I’ll plan something for you later.” 

“Thanks, Kazuha. Good luck with the PR.”

“Good luck with your work too.”

Kazuha leaves the room, shutting the door behind her, and you sigh to yourself, thinking about what to begin working on first. The wind is howling, unexpectedly, since the sun is shining bright outside the window. You look around, the whooshing and howling sounding bizarre looking at the weather. 

Suddenly, a paper flies in the room, from God knows where. You hesitate, knowing hate letters are common. But your instincts are telling you to read the paper, and who are you to ignore them?

You’re protected, Y/N.

Lots of love, P.SH.

“ARGH!” You shriek, wondering what was wrong with whoever sent this. Then you notice a little P.S. written at the bottom of the note. 

Turn the page over.

You obey, curiosity getting the better of you.

I know you’re thinking this is a joke, or a prank, but it isn’t. 

Want me to prove it?

Still saving up energy, but I’ll see you in three days.

I used up some of it to get this note to you.

Being a Gwisin isn’t easy work, dearest Y/N.

But I remember the dinner we had with your parents, before your father had that terrible stroke. We’d gone for sushi, because that was the most convenient for all of us, but we ended up staying back because you and your father wanted to watch football. It was incredibly funny.

What the fuck? You think to yourself, as the door bangs open to reveal Park Jisung.

“Y/N! I heard your shout, are you fine?” He looks at the paper in your hand, and stalks toward you, snatching the paper.

“JISUNG, DON’T—“

“Y/N, with all due respect, what the fuck is this?” Jisung breathes, looking up at you. “Is this some sort of joke? Because we — I mean, you — can sue, you know—“

“No, Jisung. You’ll definitely find me crazy, insane or psychotic based off of what I’m about to tell you, but.. remember Park Sunghoon? Uhm, he’s come back as a ghost, known as —“

“Gwisin?”

“…Yeah, how did you -?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not one and neither have I personally had an experience with one. But it’s a popular myth, and now I’m starting to reconsider the myth part of it. Besides, it was on the note, Y/N. And, just so you know, I’m also reconsidering what I know about you, because either you’ve officially lost it, or ghosts are real, and Ghostbusters wasn’t fiction. I’m doubting myself at the moment.”

“Um. You don’t have to ever talk to me again, if you’re uncomfortable with me, but please don’t tell this to anyone. If you’re not believing me, I doubt anyone will. And Yunjin and Kazuha will definitely not leave me alone ever again.”

“Relax, I won’t. Believe me or don’t, but my friend Haechan enjoys scaring me this way. At this point, he might as well convince me to join a cult. I won’t,” Jisung added hastily, as if he thought you might find him dangerous and fire him, and continued, “But I’ll get back to you on the whole how-I-feel-about-this situation.

You nod, incredibly glad he hasn’t reported you or yelled for help yet, and say, “You don’t need to remember this. Just please don’t say anything to anyone else.”

“You got it. And maybe keep your shrieking on the low, people will definitely think something’s up. Believe me, I genuinely nearly screamed myself when I heard your shout. It was.. what’s the word? Bloodcurdling. Fancy word, but really. Be thankful it’s me who came here and not Niki or Kazuha. Those two would’ve freaked, for sure.”

You nod slowly, realizing that luck is on your side today. In a way.

Woah, that rhymed.

Not the time, Y/N.

“Ah, I got it. Thanks, Jisung. Off topic, but did you have any work right now?”

“No, but given the current situation, I would be glad to leave you alone to think. No offense or anything, but you need time to yourself. Like, if you were going to invite me for coffee in the cafeteria or something. Not that you would or should or anything, don’t be morally obligated or whatever, but—“

“Relax, I get it. And for moral obligation reasons, I won’t say if I was going to invite you or not. Anyway, you’re right, I should spend time alone. I have work, anyway. Go, enjoy your break. Thanks again, Jisung. I owe you one.”

Jisung smiles and leaves, and you realize that you were going to invite him for a coffee, but good thing he had his priorities straight. And he really did make a good point, you had to think. It was a creepy note, yes, but what was creepy anymore? Did anything even count as supernatural? What next, would Spider-Man appear outside her office’s door and give her a cupcake?

“Knock knock!” 

The door swung open to reveal Spider-Man himself.

Yes, that’s it. I’ve lost it. 

Spider-Man took off his mask to reveal none other than Nishimura Riki, who had assumed it was the right day to dress up for work. “Here’s a box of cupcakes, to thank you for the dinner and to also thank you for helping me out with the scandal. It created publicity, but thanks for helping shutting it down. Kazuha Ma’am told me that it was your idea.”

“The scandal?!”

“No, the usage of it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Riki smiled, placing the box of cupcakes on your table. “Or, rather, when life gives you money, buy Spider-Man outfits and give people cake!”

You laugh at the joke, and say, “You’re really starting to sound like Spider-Man with those sad little jokes and puns, Riki. You’re on break right now?”

“Nope, I’m actually wrapping things up for today. I came to work early and worked overtime last week, so that I could spend time with my family today.”

“You really don’t have to sacrifice your time for your work—“ “No, it’s for my fans. Before I go on hiatus.”

“Nice to see you so dedicated, Niki, but take my advice seriously. This industry can take a lot out of someone.”

“And I’m sure you’re right, but really, I got this. Don’t worry. Anyway, I should probably get changed before I leave the building, or the fans in question will never let me live this down. I can already picture the headlines — “Nishimura Riki, youngest idol / ace of Zen Entertainment, spoils latest comeback in a Spider-Man outfit, rocking it!” “Nishimura Riki to star in the newest Spider-Man outfit, proof here!” It would be so embarrassing…”

“Well, to be fair, and honest, you look good! It’s a good quality costume too, so there are very few memes that can be made. Unless you were holding coffee, or alcohol. I can picture everything then.” You say, struggling to hold back your laughter after imagining the memes.

“Yeah, yeah. Bye, CEO. Have a nice day. And get some lunch.” Riki waves as he leaves to find the nearest restroom to change.

You smile, biting into a cupcake, only to find it full of spicy chilies. 

“NISHIMURA RIKI!” You shout, very angry. The door slams open yet again, this time revealing a Spider-Man with no socks on and Jisung, looking very worried. “Oh. My. God.” Riki mouths, as realization dawns on him.

“I gave you the wrong cupcakes. Those were meant for my sister. I am so sorry. Here, try biting into this one, it should be red velvet and cream cheese.” He points to another cupcake in the box, and you obey.

“… NIKI!”

“SHOOT, WAS THAT FILLED WITH CHILLIES TOO?”

“No. It was tomato this time. And the white part, you may be wondering? Radish purée.”

“Um.. I’ll just get you the other box of cupcakes.. you can ask Mr Park to taste-test them for you?” Niki slips out the door, and you sigh.

“I would taste them for you, but I’d rather not take the risk, sorry, Y/N.” Jisung says, and you smile understandingly, unable to talk over the disgusting mix of flavors that are floating around in your mouth. “Thanks for understanding. Anyway, I’m going to assume you didn’t get an opportunity to think about whatever went on with that note. But I gave it a thought, and you should be alone. Finish off whatever work’s a priority right now, and go home. Really. That note would be enough to send me a one-way ticket to a therapist’s office. You can inform Kazuha about your absence, and I’m sure  she’ll understand. I’ll take my leave, and enjoy the cupcakes Niki will get you. I helped him pick out both the prank box and sweet box.”

Jisung salutes you and leaves, leaving you staring after him in wonder. Swallowing a bit of water to rinse out the taste of the disgusting cupcake, you think about the events as the door bangs open yet again.

“Ma’am, I’m here with your cupcakes. I sincerely apologize, and I would understand if you fire —“

“Niki, you need to relax. I enjoy jokes too, you know. Depending on the context. And I’m sure your sister’s reaction would’ve been priceless. Anyway, help yourself to a cupcake. I’ll be leaving the building now, too. And please, please be scared of Jisung. He told me he helped you pick out the boxes of cupcakes? He could’ve picked out something really special for you, too.”

Niki’s eyes go wide, processing your words, and yelps. “Oh no, oh no, I asked him to help me pick my lunch! Um, I’ll leave, Ma’am. Thanks for the word of advice, I really appreciate it. Uh, bye!”

Niki runs away, still in his Spider-Man outfit, as you sigh. Ah, I seriously think my employees really would excel at standup comedy sometimes.

Laughing to yourself, you meet a representative from the talents team, asking them to organize a meeting with you and someone from the creative team after lunch. Then, you attempt to find Kazuha, who is sitting in the PR room, shouting at someone on a call. The people in the room look up and bow, seeing you enter. An employee pokes Kazuha and points at you, who hastily turns, ending the call. “Yes, Ms. Y/N?” She asks you, gesturing the rest of the room to get back to work. 

“Oh, I’m leaving, I’m done for the day. Something personal came up. I’m taking the meeting with the talent team and creative team online, and I’ve arranged it all myself. You can take a break too, and so can the PR once the releases are all done. And feel free to treat yourselves to lunch on the company card. Just don’t go all out at a 5-star restaurant or something, I genuinely can’t finance that yet. Maybe some other time. Alright?”

Kazuha nods, smiling at the room, who look ready to cheer. “Thank you, Ma’am.” The room bows, as you leave, and Kazuha follows you, shutting the door behind her. “Are you fine, Y/N?” She asks you, scrutinizing your body language and facial expressions.

“Yes, Kazuha. Just a bit tired. Don’t worry, I’m fine, and if anything comes up, I think Yunjin will be at home. Ah, that reminds me. She’s supposed to make a post about the dating rumors, which are still so wrong, can you update her on our PR team’s work? She’ll talk to her management, I think.”

“Sure, I’ll give her a call and see if I can meet her for lunch. She did tell me she would be at home today at the dinner yesterday.”

“Alright then, that’s settled. Ah, and Niki and Jisung met me, although we didn’t get around to discussing much. Niki thanked me for the handling of the situation, by the way. But I’ll talk to Jisung tomorrow.”

“Okay, that should be fine. Bye, Ma’am.” Kazuha opens the door and slips back in, and you wave her off, leaving the building with a little sign of a headache building up.

—————— 🦢

You get back home, exhausted by the events of the day and grab your lunch. You sit for the meeting, discussing the new trainees that are to be accepted soon, and idols that they wished to sign a contract with. The meeting lasts for about an hour, and you stretch yourself after the meeting, trudging up to your room to try and take a nap. Unfortunately, your brain refuses to fall asleep after the note, and you end up laying in bed and wondering about the whole incident.

You suddenly recall that Jisung was there to witness the note, and you wonder if he’ll stay true to his word forever. As you delve deeper into your thoughts, you jump when you hear a phone ringing.

Your phone, in fact.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Hi, this is Huh Yunjin speaking. Is Ms. Y/N free at the moment?” You hear your best friend’s sarcastic voice, and smile. “Of course I am. Anything for you.”

“Woah, woah, lay off on the lines, Y/N. I might just end up dating you.” You could hear the wink that Yunjin would’ve produced if she was right next to you.

“Ha, ha, ah yes, what a joke, I laughed. Anyway, what’s up? Did you eat?”

“I did, but I called to check on you. I hope you ate too?”

“Yeah, I did, mom. Is that why you called?”

“That, and Kazuha called. Thanks for helping me sort it out. Ugh. That is illegal and so wrong. What is wrong with people?”

“I’d have to agree. Anyway, when are you getting home?”

“Um, should be around six. Anything up?”

“Nope. Just checking. Get back safe.”

“Will do, Ma’am. Bye!”

“Bye!” You disconnect the call, smiling lightly as you feel grateful for having such a lovely friend by your side.

You and I both know that wouldn’t last for long if she knew you think ghosts spoke to you.

Oh, shut up, you. You tell yourself, plopping back down on your bed. You just know that this whole dilemma will reach a head soon, but till then you’ll have to wait it out. But why does life make it so difficult to tolerate this?

Thankfully, Sunghoon isn’t due for another two days at least. Whether it’s him, or any of his notes or signs or whatever it was he could think of, you’re determined to not let it get to you and not to lose it. But in all honesty, that’s the most you can do. Because it’s not in your control to get in touch with a freaking ghost. 

And no, you’re never going to visit any of those ghost-whisperers. Even if ghosts do exist, which, seemingly, they do, the ghost-whisperers could always scam you, of course. All they need is a good business opportunity. The problem with such stuff is that one will never know if they’re being truthful or not. So people prefer picking the negative side, thinking they’re being deceitful. 

Of course, in a lot of media, ghosts are portrayed as evil beings, which is why believing in them is frowned upon and considered to be a sign of the personality of the person, assuming they’re evil and believe in or practice black magic. You find it so funny, but also interesting. Who started all this psychology stuff anyway? Why couldn’t we have stayed sane and been the same? But then, that would be a sign of communism. Ugh, what even is this? Maybe humans are better off brainless.

Damn, I got all deep there. This might as well start another dumb controversy. But then again, I’m sure all this exists but not where I am. You think to yourself, stopping any more weird thoughts, thinking you’d better leave such thoughts to people who earn for these theories.

You go about preparing dinner, knowing that you will probably not be able to do anything but sit and wait for Sunghoon’s communications. And to wait until Jisung finally confesses that he thinks you’re insane and that you should definitely visit either a therapist or an asylum.

“Honey, I’m bored!” is the quote that marks Yunjin’s entry. “You’re bored?” You ask, used to Yunjin’s use of affectionate nicknames. “Yeah. I’m bored of all the drama. I wanna go away on a deserted island and never return.” Yunjin sighs, plopping on the couch. “Oui, I agree. You should go, and never return. Go, live your life.” 

“Ouch. But you’re right. I’ll probably go on hiatus from all my social media and visit Hawaii.”

“Hawaii is so generic. But you do you. Anyway, dinner’s served.” You say, placing a plate in front of her. “You know what? I’m going to do this. I’m going to live by myself. Unless you wanna join. But I doubt you can.”

“Yeah, I can’t. Book your flights and send me your itinerary.”

“Ugh, never mind. I can’t randomly do this!” Yunjin cries, between mouthfuls of her food. “Why not? You deserve it. You’ve been working so hard but you’ve never had a solo trip.”

“You’re right.. but I can’t. You’re too fragile to be left alone.”

“You treat me like a patient sometimes.”

“Because you are, Y/N. You don’t know how bad we hurt inside when we saw you. You were a shell of the real Y/N. Now that you’re recovering, in a way, I can’t bear to go and see something happen to you.”

“You’re being too serious. Just go away for a week. Kazuha is here, and so are my friends. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Ugh.” Yunjin gets up to place her dish in the dishwasher, as do you. “You need to relax. Believe me.” 

Yunjin stays silent, trying to think about it. “Kazuha is here, Yunjin.”

“Fine. I’ll go. But I’ll hear about anything that happens to you. Believe me. And yeah, I’ll send you my itinerary.”

“Yes!” You hug her, glad she’s getting a break, and glad that you’ll be alone when Sunghoon’s real visit will occur.

—————— 🦢

The next day, you walk into the office in a better mood, glad that you’d figured out what to do the previous night.

“Good morning, Y/N.” You hear a deep male voice, and jump to see Jisung. “Hey, Jisung. Where’s Kazuha?”

“Getting coffee for you.” He says, moving aside to let you sit down. “Ah, I see. Did Niki meet with the producer? I’d arranged a meeting for him with that artist from Karina’s company.” You ask Kazuha, who enters with your coffee. “Yeah, he left. He told me to thank you around a thousand times before he entered the meeting room.” Kazuha grins, offering Jisung a biscuit. 

“Thanks, Ms Nakamura. Um, Y/N, I need to talk to you.” Jisung winces lightly, and you immediately understand what he wants to talk to you about. 

“Sure, we can walk a bit.” You offer, finishing off your coffee. Kazuha stares after the two of you, and you shrug, not knowing what to tell her. 

“So.. I thought about it, and maybe you’re not so insane. And I want to help you. But I don’t know what to do.” Jisung says as soon as you are out of earshot of anyone. “You can’t really help me, Jisung. Just don’t say anything to anyone, and if you don’t mind, offer me some advice if I ever need it.” You tell him, and he nods slowly, walking silently. 

“Doesn’t it seem weird to you? Like, I don’t even say anything, just accept that you talk to certain people? And offer you help with them, too?” Jisung asks you thoughtfully, and you smile softly. “I guess it does, yeah.”

Jisung stays quiet, a trait of his you find nice. The two of you walk in peace, reaching back to your office just in time for Kazuha to open the door. “Oh, haha, I was about to come after you guys. Y/N, I need to leave, there’s some problem at my friend’s place. I’ll be back in an hour, tops.”

“Okay, no worries. Take your time. And if you need anything, my line’s open. You only need to call.”

“Thanks, Y/N. Um, I prepared a schedule for you, check it out. It’s on your table. You don’t have much, really.” Kazuha smiles and leaves, thanking you profusely before she exits.

“Woah, I forget you’re the CEO sometimes.” Jisung says jokingly, and you laugh. “Yeah, yeah. This CEO has to get to work, so, yeah.”

“I get it, I need to go. Bye! I have work, anyway. I only came to the building to speak to you.” Jisung shrugs, waving behind him as he leaves. You grin to yourself, preparing for your meeting with NewJeans.

“Hello, Ms. L/N!” Hanni, who is the main correspondent for the contract signing, enters, a bright smile on her face. The rest of NewJeans follows her, smiling and bowing at you. “Hello. I’m glad you are going ahead with the signing, NewJeans. How are you guys feeling? Can I get you anything to drink, or eat?”

“Nope, all of us ate our breakfast and got here.” Hyein said, and Minji nodded. “Yeah, but water would be good.” You nod and buzz someone to get five glasses of water. The glasses arrive as asked for, and the girls drink up. 

“So, let’s get this meeting started. Firstly..”

After the meeting, NewJeans take a picture with you to post once the news of the contract signing gets out. NewJeans has been an amazing group, you think, as you walk them out the building. “Thank you, NewJeans. Let’s have a great year ahead of us! See you in May.” You wave, watching as they leave.

You enter the building again, glad to be back in the business rush again. You feel the need to be productive at times, and this definitely satiated that desire. “Y/N! I’m back. How was the meeting?” Kazuha greets you in your office, looking up from her laptop. 

“Great. They’re nice people. Can’t wait to work with them.” You smile, and ask about the incident at her friend’s home. “Oh, no, it wasn’t that serious. My friend’s ill, and the person taking care of her had to go out for some urgent work. So I took over for a bit.”

“Is your friend okay?” You ask, worry filling you. “Yeah, she’s having a pneumonia attack. Not that serious, but she is supposed to be under bed rest, so I went and got her breakfast.”

“Okay, let me know if you need anything delivered to her place, I’ll get it done.” You offer, knowing that’s the most you can really do for Kazuha. “Thank you, Y/N. Anyway, you’re free until after lunch. I've arranged a meeting with NewJeans’ manager and CEO to discuss further contract details.”

“Great. Thanks, Kazuha. But I’m not looking forward to it.” The CEO of NewJeans’ company is known to be nice, but is sometimes too nice. It gets a bit creepy for you, personally, but Mr Song is generally a welcoming person.

“I know. But their manager is a nice person, so hey, that’s a plus point!” Kazuha points out, shutting her laptop and stretching her back. Kazuha enjoys ballet, and so is always stretching something or the other. But all your employees can’t help but to ask her about her posture, because it, quite frankly, is perfect. In fact, Kazuha is asked for posture classes almost every day.

“Yeah, I guess.. anyway, you can take a break. Want something to eat?” You offer, and Kazuha shakes her head. “No, I think I’ll take a walk. Also, what’s this I hear about Yunjin going on hiatus?”

“Yeah, she’s going to—“

“Yeah, some island, I know. But is she fine?” Kazuha asks, and you shrug. “She says that, but I don’t know, I just guess she’s getting tired of the influence lifestyle. To be fair, I wouldn’t blame her either. But I’m sure she’ll be fine. You should talk to her.”

Kazuha nods, zoning out, as she exits your office with a pen in hand. You smile offhandedly, jotting down some information about the NewJeans contract so you can prepare for the meeting.

“Ms Y/N?” You hear Niki’s voice from outside your door, and you yell for him to enter. “Thank you for setting up that meeting. My fans will be excited for this collaboration. Anyway, a week until my album releases and I leave. I’m honestly scared. What if my fans don’t like me?” Niki afflicts himself with unnecessary thoughts, and you sigh, settling behind your desk comfortably. 

“You have nothing to worry about. Niki, you’re such an accomplished artist. And so young at that! This album is something your fans will never forget, seeing as it’s written by you. Besides , this collaboration has never been seen before. The artist never collaborated with anyone. Ever. Don’t hurt yourself with such thoughts. We at the company will make sure no one ever forgets the name Niki.”

“Thank you, ma’am. But it’s really not easy stopping those thoughts. I guess we learn, eventually. Anyway, enough about me. I don’t wanna spend my last week all emo. What’s going on with you, ma’am?”

“See, you call me ma’am, then get all casual. And what’s an emo?” You ask him, genuinely confused. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re really old, aren’t you? It’s a meme, I guess, but it means emotional. Like, a depressed type of thing, but it’s used ironically or sarcastically most of the time.” Niki shakes his head, disappointed, while you scowl. “I may be old, but I’m not that old, Nishimura Riki.”

“Oh. Full name. It is my time to leave. Au revoir, mademoiselle!” Niki rushes out the door, leaving you laughing.

—————— 🦢

Just another day left until Sunghoon said he would visit, and you’re feeling a bit jittery. Yunjin is leaving today, and you’re currently at the airport to say goodbye.

“Y/N, don’t forget to call me if you need anything, okay?—“

“Flight 777 boarding. I repeat, Flight 777 boarding. Passengers need to get aboard now.”

“Yeah, yeah, Yunjin, you don’t wanna miss your flight, okay? Go away now. Bye!” You wave and walk away as Yunjin keeps saying something. She ends up rolling her eyes and turning, waving without looking at you.

Kazuha couldn’t come with you as she had to go look after her friend, who was healing, luckily. But she did video call you to say goodbye to Yunjin, who has switched off her main phone and bought a flip phone so you and Kazuha can contact her.

You get back home, exhausted. You spend the rest of the day by yourself, treating yourself to takeout and binge watching a series on the TV. You’d taken a leave of absence from the office today, which, in retrospect, seems like a good decision.

The next day, you walk into the office, incredibly jittery, anticipating the visit at any minute. You hate this feeling so much, but what could you possibly do, anyway? You sit in the office, looking at the proposed building renovations to include more practice rooms and recording studios and reducing the break rooms. You do not like the renovations any better than the jitters you’re getting, but since the board had suggested it, you don’t have a choice but to go through them. 

“Y/N!” You jump immediately, papers scattering everywhere. “I won’t tell you to chill, but relax. It’s Jisung.” You sigh in relief, as Jisung helps you sort the papers. 

“It’s not my business, I know, but did Sunghoon visit you?” He asks, and you shake your head in reply. “No. Can’t you tell? I’m so nervous. I don’t know what he even has to say. What can a dead lover say?”

“Well, in my experience, nothing, because I’ve never had a dead lover.” Jisung shrugs, sitting on the windowsill. You sigh. “Yeah, I wish I knew someone — on second thought, I don’t wish. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”

“Good, cause if you’d said what you’d wanted to, I’d have walked out a minute ago.” Jisung says, pretending to exhale in relief, placing a hand on his chest.

“Hey, I’m not a sadist.” You point out, narrowing your eyes at him. He raises his hands, saying, “Hey, I wouldn’t know, you know.” “Yeah, well, how would I know if you wouldn’t know?”

Jisung laughs, and you smile.

“Y/N?”

Jisung’s jaw drops, as you turn to look Park Sunghoon square in the eye. “Is this.. your boyfriend?” He asks, and your eyes go wide, looking at Jisung.

“No, of course not. If you’re jealous, you don’t really have a reason to be.” Jisung says, matter-of-factly, but you know that’s not a great reassurance for Sunghoon. “Okay. Anyway, can you get out?” 

“No. You’re being kind of selfish, don’t you think? Y/N needs support. I know you’re a Gwisin, and all that. I was there when you delivered that note. Y/N has been so nervous as of late. You’re being so rude. Think about her, too. It’s not like I’ll blabber anything to the media. What the heck would I say?”

“Sunghoon..” you say, and Sunghoon sighs. “Ugh, I don’t have the time for this. Y/N, I’m here as a Gwisin because I can’t move on for a while. Um. I don’t really know why I saved up energy for this, but I just wanna tell you that you should move on. And you should leave the room, I have something to say to this clown.” Sunghoon nods at Jisung, who scowls. You quietly leave, not having anything to say. You’ve never seen Sunghoon this way, which scares you just a bit. You did your own research on Gwisin the other day, and found that they can be harmful sometimes. As much as you don’t wanna leave Jisung unarmed, you trust Sunghoon enough to use his senses as much as possible. Besides, you do have to guard the door, so that no one (read: Kazuha) enters and freaks out and possibly sends you and Jisung to the hospital to get psychologically evaluated.

You hear nothing, which is reassuring, unless Sunghoon— never mind, you won’t think about it, you decide. You pace in front of the door for a while, until you hear the lock open slowly. 

“Y/N?” Jisung asks, and you nod. “Yeah, Jisung. Are you fine?”

“Yeah, I am. He didn’t do anything to me, relax. He just wanted to check on you, because he knew you would lie.” 

“But—“

“I don’t even know you that well? Think again. I’m friends with Niki, who’s now friends with Yunjin, who’s your roommate and is also close to Kazuha.” Jisung says, as if he explained everything with that statement. 

“Okay.. and that helps you how, exactly?”

“Well, to put it simply, we gossip about you occasionally.”

“It’s barely been a week since you know Yunjin and Kazuha.”

“What can I say? Niki and I are incredibly social.” Jisung shrugs, and you sigh. “Is that all he told you?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Jisung says, looking at you. “He left just like that?” You ask, and Jisung shrugs. “Yeah. Why?”

“Oh, I’m expecting a note from him right about… now.” You say, and immediately a note flies in from the window. “You should really start shutting your window, Y/N.” Jisung says, massaging his nose bridge in annoyance.

You look at the note, prepared for anything at this point.

Y/N, 

I want you to be happy. Are you happy? Don’t lie, which I know you will, so don’t even bother answering. You need to move on. I don’t wanna be selfish, but I don’t want you to. But you need to. It’s for your own good. I.. I think Jisung is nice. He’s nice to you. I don’t like him, but he’s good for you. As a friend, or whatever. But you can’t stay hung up on me. I know you have important work in May. And you need to get a hang of yourself. You’re a mess, quite frankly.

I’m sorry for disrupting your life the way I did. Thing is, as a Gwisin, I need to accomplish what I want to until I can move on from this world. This world is the underworld, in simple terms, and where all Gwisin exist, whether good or bad. I’m the good kind, I promise. 

I’m so sorry. I really am. But please, please move on. It may seem difficult now, but enjoy life. Fall in love again. 

Yours,

Sunghoon.

You look up from the note, trying to not cry and sigh at the same time. “Y/N? Are you fine?” Jisung asks you, concerned at the obvious tears in your eyes.

“I’m. Fine. I swear.” You tell him, blinking back tears rapidly. “Yeah, you are. Sure!” Jisung says, letting you deny your tears and watching your face, making sure you don’t harm yourself in any way. 

“I really am.” You insist, aggressively wiping your tears away. “Yeah.” Jisung nods slowly, and you give in to your tears. “I can’t believe he expects me to move on so easily. First my dad falls ill, then I lose Sunghoon. Why does life wanna kick my ass at any given opportunity? I don’t get it. I do want to fall in love. But it’s not easy. I just want to move on from this too. I wanna start a new life. But I can’t. Because I’m tied to all of this. Why’d Sunghoon have to die? If he had to, why couldn’t I have gone with him?” You cry, and Jisung walks to be next to you.

“Y/N, Sunghoon is going to expect you to move on. He knows it’s not easy. I’m sure he does. And I’m also sure life doesn’t wanna kick your ass. This is all just a test. Life isn’t easy for anyone. What happens, happens for a reason, okay? Once that gets through your head, life is much more tolerable. You didn’t die for a reason. You’re so strong. You help out whoever you can, whenever you can. You’re nice to everyone. You work hard. You try to lessen the burden on other people. You took over your dad’s business without a single second’s hesitation. That takes a lot of courage. You’re strong. You just need to understand that. You have the ability to do anything, Y/N. Do you know how good that feels? You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be crying. You’d be figuring out if you can move on right now. And if not right now, you’d be estimating when you would. Y/N, you might not wanna hear this, but get a grip.” Jisung says, and you breathe in, jaw agape.

“Sorry. Did I overstep? Please tell me if I did, I don’t wanna cross any—“ you interrupt Jisung’s blind blabbering with a bear hug, causing him to choke on air. 

“Thank you.” You tell Jisung. Jisung pats your back a little awkwardly, letting you hold him.

—————— 🦢

The next day, you meet with Kazuha at the office, and ask her if she wants to stay overnight at your place.

“I would, Y/N, but I promised my friend I’d stay over at her place. She’s finally recovered, by the way!” Kazuha exclaims, and you smile. “Of course, you should go to her place. I’m so glad she recovered. Listen, send me her address, I’ll send her a gift. And tell me what she’s allergic to.” You say, and Kazuha sighs. “You are so extravagant sometimes.” 

“You guys love me for it.”

“Oh well. Can’t argue with facts, can we?” You and Kazuha laugh and continue with work.

You and Jisung haven’t spoken about anything except work related matters, and, to be honest, you are kind of offended. It’s not everyday you get to see your boss, or whatever you are to Jisung, getting haunted by her dead lover’s ghost. And, deep down, you thought that the two of you were friends. Thought, in past tense. 

I don’t think friends let their friends forget that they’re there for them after a haunting. You think, rolling your eyes as you swivel around in your chair.

“Y/N, Jisung’s here to see you.” Kazuha says, raising an eyebrow at you, asking the security guard to let him in. 

“What are you raising your eyebrow at?” You ask, and Kazuha shrugs, raising her other eyebrow too. “Nothing, just.. he’s been visiting you a lot lately..”

“What are you getting at?” You ask, a slight cleft forming in your forehead. “Nothing, it’s just.. are you dating him? Or do you like each other? Not judging. Not judging, for sure. Just wanna know.” Kazuha assures you, and you look her dead in the eye. 

“No.”

“Hey, Y/N. Um, is this a bad time?” Jisung enters and pauses, seeing the glare on your face. “No, this is the perfect time. I’m leaving.” Kazuha says, walking out without a single word, winking at you as she leaves. 

“So, Jisung. Why’ve you been radio silent?”

“Uh? I’m sorry? It’s been a day.” Jisung grins offhandedly, and you frown. “I thought you were nice.” You say, and wince immediately. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Um, I was busy with something, so I couldn’t call. But you could have called. I would’ve spoken to you for at least a minute.” Jisung says, and you sigh. You’ve gotten attached, you fool. Just because someone wants to be friends doesn’t mean you go and do this.

“Ha ha. Yeah. I could’ve. Sorry. My bad. Anyway. How are you?” You ask awkwardly, and Jisung shrugs. “Good, I guess. You?”

The wind whooshes aggressively and you shudder. “What’s up with the wind, all of a sudden?” Jisung asks, shutting the windows.

“I think it’s Sunghoon.” You say, shivering lightly. 

“You guessed right.” Sunghoon appears, and Jisung sighs. “Y/N, I’m really hopeless at the deep speech thing, so I’m gonna talk to Jisung. If you don’t tell her, I will.”

“Tell her what?” Jisung asks, and you look at the two carefully, trying to look for any signs of a secret. Obviously, there is one, but you do want to try out your observation skills. “What we discussed yesterday.”

“Oh. No. You won’t tell her, that’ll make it weird. Don’t do it. It won’t benefit either of us.”

“But it will benefit me!” You exclaim, and the two ignore you. “I might.”

“You’re selfish.”

“You can’t say that for everything, Park Jisung. Y/N—“

“Shut up!” Jisung yells, covering your ears, or trying to. “What is it?” Annoyed, you prise Jisung’s hands away from your ears, and glare at him. 

“Oh, Jisung has a crush on you.” Sunghoon says, and Jisung goes red.

“Sunghoon, are you playing matchmaker with your ex-girlfriend who’s only your ex because she’s alive and you’re not?” You ask, pissed off.

“Jeez, just admit it, you’re growing a crush on him too.” Sunghoon says, annoyed too.  “Am not!” “Are too!”

“You two really were meant for each other.” Jisung says, still bright red. “We get it.” You and Sunghoon chorus, and stare at each other, angry.

“Oh, my God. Y/N, you are growing a crush on Jisung.” Sunghoon says, and you roll your eyes. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I’m right, I know. Anyway, I guess it’s time to explain why I’m being so unconventional. Jisung knows already, and he’s a huge part of the reason. 

“Apparently, my last dying wish was for you to be happy, and I guess it’s the truth. Well, the point of it is for you to fall in love. And until you do, I’m going to be a Gwisin. And my powers are fading away, so I think you do like him, just a little bit. But that little bit helps me move on. I don’t want your feelings to be fake, because that won’t work. But my powers really are going away. I’m glad, Y/N. Jisung really likes you. I can tell. I feel like the new Cupid. But anyway, if you like him, good for you. I’m happy as long as you are.”

You watch as the shimmery Sunghoon becomes a bit more transparent, and suddenly understand a lot about him as a Gwisin. “Shit. Sunghoon. Don’t go. Just stay, but don’t be a Gwisin.”

“I am always with you. You just won’t get to be able to confirm it any more. Don’t worry, I can be in touch until you start falling in love. And you can’t deny your feelings, nor can you fake them. But I just can’t appear anymore.”

Jisung watches as you attempt to hug the faded Sunghoon, and watches you break down, and helps you up.

—————— 🦢       A YEAR LATER, JUNE 1.

“Ms L/N!” NewJeans greets you, and you smile. “Congratulations. I hear your relationship press release went well?” Minji congratulates you, and you smile brightly. “Yeah, it did. I’m so happy. And I’m happy you guys are so successful. And the collaboration with Niki went so well.” You compliment them, and they smile.

“Speak of the devil.” Niki enters the room, and shakes your hand. “Really? My choreographer?”

“I’m sorry, okay? He’s so nice. And sweet. And—“

“Please, don’t. He’s my choreographer.” 

“I—“

“Goodbye.” NewJeans and Niki leave, leaving you confused. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Jisung smiles as he enters, hugging you. “The press release went so well.” He says, and you laugh. “As it should have. Everything’s getting better. My father is recovering well, Mum got a break when I took over Dad’s healthcare, Yunjin quit the full time influencer gig and works part time now, Kazuha is chairman, and I’m still CEO with a boyfriend and a lot of friends. A year ago, I was a mess.”

“Well, you were a mess, yeah. Cheers to the mess-free Y/N of 20XX!” Jisung brings out a water bottle, and you reach under your desk to take yours.

“Cheers!”

—————— 🦢

After work, you go back to your home, which you bought for yourself, so Yunjin could leave alone. 

You sit in your study, and bring out a blank letter and start writing.

From, Y/N.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m grateful. Thanks to you, I’m happy. Or happier. I’m able to get up and not think of you, some days. When I do, I don’t cry anymore. I know you want me to be happy, so I smile and think of us. I think I’ll always love you. I hope you will too, even if you’re still dead and I won’t ever get a message from you. But I love Jisung, too. And I’m glad you can finally rest in peace. I’m happy if you are happy, too. I just wish we wouldn’t have to end the way we did sometimes, but I guess it can’t be helped. Some character development, right?!

I write these letters so that I can get my feelings out and direct them somewhere. But I think I’m going to stop soon. My relationship press release went incredibly well. Of course, there were the odd questions here and there about you, but they really can’t be helped. 

I miss you. But I miss you as a best friend, for sure. I don’t miss you as a lover anymore. And frankly? I don’t ever want to, again. I love you, but I am letting go.

We didn’t deserve what happened to us. We really didn’t. And I wish it never happened. But I am moving on. I need to. So, Park Sunghoon, goodbye.

I love you.

Then, now, and always.

To: Park Sunghoon.

P.S. I Hope You’re Happy.

P.S.S. I used to listen to this song called In My Dreams. Back when I was way too hung up on you. And I love that song. If you ever get to listen to music whenever you are, please listen to it. I want that song tattooed. I might do it soon. Love you a lot.

—————— FIN.

[hotsforharlow]

Could we get a pt 2 to the one where she’s pregnant and jacks cheating?

AN: Hi, I hope you like it x

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Part 1 is here.

It took Jack two long months before he found that fated shoebox and his world crashed for a second time in recent times. He felt awful. God, more than awful. He couldn’t breath most days and was just going through the motions with his career. The news of his break-up hadn’t been damaging in the business side of it all but his fans still thought he wasn’t a good man. And his mother raised him better than that. Not that she had spoken to him lately and it was only just recently she’d begun calling him again. But he deserved that and worse. And apparently the universe agreed with him as he looked down at the test. You must have been so excited, he thought to himself whilst reaching for a scarf you had left behind. 

He had tried to contact you from day one but now there was more urgency. Not that he had any luck as you had blocked his number and socials. As well as his friends. “Fuck.” He grabbed his phone and threw it down; nearly smashing it to pieces as his anger flared. His head was soon in his hands as he looked down and hated how silent the house was. It could never be a home now. Not without you. God, he was pathetic. But he needed to fix things, he had to. He had to find you.

~

The two months had been the worst of your life, even worse than the day everything changed. You hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy and thankfully, you had been able to hide. You were exhausted and grief stricken in many respects. You had to take some time from work, which of course wasn’t paid. Everything was going downhill. The hot shower had done you good and you could feel yourself relaxing some more as you sipped at the water. You hardly had an appetite anymore and you’d lost a bit of weight. Not too much but your doctor had mentioned it so you had decided on doing some shopping. The first time you were going out in a while; surely, the fresh air would do wonders on you.

The soft, cotton dress felt incredibly against you but the bump was subtly showing now and you just hoped nobody saw. It took you longer than you’d admit to gain the courage to leave the house. You ducked your head almost instantly and moved into your car.

~

“Thanks for the invite, mama.” Jack ducked his head in shame as he followed his mother around the store. He had jumped at the chance to spend time with her. “Yeah, well I unfortunately can’t be mad at you forever.” She hummed, randomly picking up the food that caught her eye. “Poor girl.” She muttered mostly to herself but Jack heard and a lump in his throat appeared.

He hadn’t even told his mother what he had found and couldn’t find it in him to tell her now. She already hated him. “Yeah..” Jack looked down and the silence spread across the pair as they continued to shop. He would have completely missed seeing you if his mother hadn’t gasped. “What?” Jack hummed in confusion before his bright blues found your body. You hadn’t noticed them yet, and for that he was thankful as he could get a good look at you. He nearly flinched at what he saw. You were still so beautiful and all that he didn’t deserve but he could tell it had been rough for you. His eyes instantly moved to your stomach and a smile came across his face without realising it as he noted you had kept the baby.

“Oh..hi Mrs Harlow..” You began to babble as you turned down an aisle of the store and saw your worst nightmare. You quickly found Jack’s eyes that were staring at you before you quickly looked away and moved to the side, hoping they would just pass by. “It’s nice to see you, love.” His mother wrapped her arms around you and you tried not to fall apart. You had missed her and the rest of his family immensely. But it didn’t matter now, nothing did. “You too.” You hummed and fought against holding the hug for longer as you leaned away and a forced smile moved across your face. “I should get going.” You began to babble and moved to get through them both with your head back down again.

“You let her go again, and I’ll never forgive you.” His mother whispered into his ear as they both watched you move to another aisle in a hurry. Jack hated this whole mess that he had created and his feet seemed to have a mind of their own as he moved around to catch you. “Y/N…”He softly shouted for you as he moved through the aisle and thankfully it wasn’t a busy time. Your eyes flashed to him and he noticed your hold tightening on the trolley. “What do you want Jack?” You finally spoke to him. “I just..wanted to speak to you.” He couldn’t find the right words as he slowly moved closer to you.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You snapped back and tried to move away. The hurt and betrayal bubbling under the surface once more as you finally turned away. “Not even our baby.” Your heart nearly stopped and you tried to bluff your way out of this. “You are losing it Jack.” You mumbled but he gently caught your hip and kept you close. The touch used to send you shivers and make you feel so safe; but all you could think was him doing it to another. “No, you don’t get to do that.” You furiously moved from his hold and his face turned heartbroken but it wasn’t your job to fix it. You were having enough trouble fixing yourself. “But it’s my baby too.” Jack whispered.

“I know…I know.” You muttered mostly to yourself with your head down. “And that’s all you’ll ever be. Her father.” You finally turned around to him. “Her?” Jack asked; love and hurt swirling in his eyes as he realised your words.

[centrally-unplanned]

To continue LOTR discourse, had a discussion yesterday and solidified my opinion that Tulkas’s role as a Valar is a little bit dumb. If you aren’t in the know, fourteen Valar, including Melkor, show up in Arda. The 13 good Valar try to shape it according the vision of Illuvatar/God, and Melkor just runs around blowing it all up - Melkor, as the greatest of the Valar, is as strong as the rest of the Valar combined, so its a status quo back and forth meaning that no permanent stability can be truly achieved. After 1,500 years of this the din of battle is loud enough for Tulkas, a 15th Valar w/ war as his dominion who is chilling in Eä/space, to hear it and he descends to Arda. Due to his specialization he is able to go toe to toe with Melkor, who flees in fear, permitting the Valar to finally establish some order and build the Two Lamps, stage one of Arda’s development. 

Its pretty weird huh? “In the beginning there were the Fourteen...oh yeah and also this dude, his just chillin elsewhere for now”. Like what was he up to? Why wasn’t he part of the opening crowd? Was Illuvatar just holding him back for kicks? And he is strong enough to beat Melkor so its like, wow great good we solved that problem! Why don’t I solve all my problems by pulling in an alcoholic luchador from Alpha Centuri to punch them in the face, should have thought that! No other Ainur hanging out in space ever appear or do other things - Tulkas was just taking a nap I guess.

Its not a big deal of course, but its seems like a thematic dropped ball. The obvious candidate for how the Valar are able to overcome Melkor in the first phase of the war would be the Elves themselves. It of course would require real timeline changes, its not a quick fix, but the arrival of Tulkas and the Elves happens very close to each other narrative-wise. And more importantly Melkor is infused with a deep jealously of Eru’s ability to create life, and will soon pledge his existence to corrupting & destroying the Elves. It would make a lot of sense for the fire of that obsession to be fanned by the Elves playing a crucial role in defeating Melkor’s first attempt to undermine the Valar.

Additionally it would really help cement the role of the Elves themselves - they have an undercurrent destiny of being shepherds, the First of the Children of Illuvatar who will guide Middle Earth into its eventual fate as the dominion of Man. But they never really do much for that destiny - all their wars against Morgoth are motivated by hate and revenge, and they totally fail at it, being completely defeated and bailed out by the Valar in the War of Wrath (admittedly with the help of the Vanyar elves, but that’s all off page). In later ages they do help defeat Sauron, but that is all knee-deep into the age of Man when the Elves are overstaying their welcome, and they kinda-sorta make the problem of Sauron anyway due to Cursed Jewelry Part 2. Their net role in the Fate of Arda is not actually super-positive? As such, serving a positive role in the early fate of Arda would have really worked to shore up their thematic destiny. 

Also mortals standing up to Gods is always the good shit of LOTR anyway, can always have more of that.

So yeah, Tulkas should have just been there from the beginning, The Valar build the Two Lamps which beckons some of the Elves to join the Valar, Melkor is able to destroy the Lamps but is unable to overcome Elvish+Valar power, sets his eyes on corrupting the Elves, everything proceeds as normal. That is my Ainulindalë fanfic, thank you for coming to my talk.

Also Nessa, Tulkas’s wife, is just fucking single for 1500 years while everyone else is married. My version spares her over a millennia of incel suffering, wtf?? Let 👏 Nessa 👏 Fuck 👏

[bekkachaos]

9 for malex

First of all, how dare you?? Second of all, play this song based on this post

9. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

Pick a number from this list and send to me with a ship 💕

The rain had just started to trickle down from the sky, heavy drops shining iridescently as they fell, landing all but silently around them.

Michael knelt, pulling Alex up over his thighs and cradling his head in his hand, the other holding his ribs as they strained for breath.

He wasn't sure what was the rain and what was coming from his own eyes, the drops landing softly on Alex's pale cheeks.

"Alex," he muttered in a choked cry. "Alex, please."

It was every fear being realised all at once, it was every wall coming crashing down around him, everything they had built just crumbling into nothing. Because that's what it would be without him, nothing.

Alex reached up slowly, fingers barely grazing Michael's cheek as his breaths grew shallow, his eyes still warm, still looking at Michael the way they always had.

"It's okay," he said, and Michael shook his head.

"No, no Alex this isn't okay, you need to hold on," he sobbed.

"You're here," Alex said, the words getting caught in his throat. "That's all... I ever wanted."

Michael held him tighter, his teeth grit tightly in his jaw, lump rising in his chest, or maybe it was his heart tearing into pieces.

Others stood around them, Max and Liz, Isobel and Maria, but as far as Michael was concerned, there was only Alex, and he was begging him not to go.

"You'll be okay," Alex said, tears falling down into his hairline. "You will."

"No, this never should have happened," he said. "I was supposed to keep you safe. It should be me, it should be me."

Alex was shaking his head, wincing at the movement, fingers trying to press deeper into his skin, but they were growing weaker.

"They need you," he said, his voice tired, low. "Michael you're... you're their family."

"Maybe," Michael said, leaning in to press his forehead against Alex, knowing the tears were landing on his skin, feeling his breathing slow under his hands as he barely managed the words. "But you are mine."

"Hey," Alex said. "I know."

His voice was cracked and rough, Michael felt the way his body was pushing out each syllable, like they were physically weighing him down.

"I love you," Michael said, lips brushing against Alex, filling the gaps between his words with soft kisses to his skin. "I love you Alex, please, I love you..."

"I love you... too," Alex stuttered, taking in a slow breath, and then another, followed by a slow exhale as his hand went limp and fell from Michael's cheek.

A sound came from Michael's mouth that was barely human, it was agony, manifested from his lungs and spat out into the cold night as though someone out there would hear it, change fate.

"No, no, no, no, Alex!" he yelled, a great heaving cry that made the headlights around them flicker, the light-towers creak and quake. "No you can't go, you can't..."

Max made a move to step forward, but he couldn't do it. His heart broke for Michael, there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. If it had been Liz, there would be nothing to soothe the burning fire in his body, nothing to quell the sheer heartbreak.

"Please, you have to wake up," he sobbed, holding his body tighter. "Alex I can't do this without you."

He cried out his name, the light towers flashing with loud cracks, everyone covering their faces as the sparks fanned out like fireworks through the rain.

Michael's fingers held Alex's head, wiping the rain and tears from his cheeks, whispering promises and apologies against his skin, pleading to a god he never believed in to bring Alex back to him. He couldn't lose him, not like this, not before they'd really even started.

His mind was reaching out for a miracle, for anything that could fix this, bring Alex back to him. And he was grasping at straws, going over every scenario in his head, because he refused to believe that this was the end.

Max's powers were gone, but maybe there was something deep inside him like his father, as much as he had rejected that thought for so long he was finally in a position to hope for it. He pressed his hand to Alex's collarbone, every inch of him willing something, anything, to happen.

Tears streamed down Isobel's cheeks as she watched him, her arms around Maria who was sobbing into her shoulder. She shook her head, biting her lip as it trembled.

"Michael..." she said softly, about to go on until she saw the pendant around his neck begin to glow.

They watched as his body trembled with it, the force of his efforts and his unmatched will to make it work. The steel in the light towers were now warping with metallic screams that filled the air while the pendant against Alex's lifeless chest hovered to meet Michael's, glowing in symmetry until the pieces met between them, crashing together with one final spray of sparks from the towers behind them, fading back to darkness as the air was sucked back into Alex's lungs in one deep breath. Michael's body relaxed as he stared down at him, the silence closing in around them as he pressed his fingers to Alex's throat.

"Michael..." Isobel said, in barely a whisper, looking down at the shimmering pattern ever so faintly painted on Alex's skin.

"He's got a pulse," Michael said incredulously, letting out a laugh between his heavy panting breaths.

"What did you do?" she whispered.

Michael's head lolled to the side, dizzy and light, his breathing laboured before he looked back up with an unfocussed gaze.

"Call Valenti," he said, before he slumped down to the ground beside Alex, the alien glass still connected between them like a tether.

[ejzah]

I'd like to ask a favor whenever you have time as I see you as a capable writer and I'm a fan of your writings. Can you PLEASE 🙏 write a story or FIC about Deeks being really sick/or injured and needs some kind of an organ transplant and the only match would be Kensi/ or his Son but he refuses at first because he doesn't want to harm them in any way.

I know it's a little bit dark, but I watched Hawaii 5O and saw McGarrett and Danny, and it was a great ep. Sorry, for any inconvenience, and thank you for all your hard work and writings.

A/N: This one was quite difficult to write for obvious reasons. I wasn’t able to figure out a way to include a bio kid into this, so I hope that’s ok.

***

The Other Shoe

Kensi hurried into the bullpen, tossing her purse on her chair as she rifled through mess on top.

“Kensi, hey. Didn’t know you were coming in today,” Callen said, jogging down from OPS.

“I’m just here to grab a few things and then I have to go to another appointment with Deeks nephrologist and then some more tests,” she replied, focusing on finding the last report she’d worked on before everything imploded. She needed something to keep her mind busy.

“And how’s Deeks doing?”

“Um…” Kensi pressed her lips together, a familiar wave of emotion coming over her. “He’s, uh, he’s hanging in there, but it’s been rough. You know he likes to fix things and unfortunately neither of us can do that. We just have to trust that the doctors know what they’re doing.”

It had all started with a collection of vague symptoms. Easy fatigue, frequent headaches, dizziness. At first, they’d just passed it off as the result of stress and lack of sleep. After months though, when the symptoms didn’t go away with a week off and the nausea kicked, they couldn’t ignore it any longer.

A week, and multiple doctor appointments later, Deeks had a diagnosis: Kidney Failure.

It was shocking and terrifying. Deeks was young and healthy, how could one of his kidneys be diseased? The question played on repeat through Kensi’s mind at every appointment, every consult, the treatments that were now a daily part of life.

“Kensi?” She blinked, zoning back in after an unknown amount of time to see Sam staring at her with concern and sympathy. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired and trying to keep up,” she answered with a smile that she knew didn’t make it to her eyes. “It was good seeing you, but I have to run.” In a hurry to get out before Sam asked any questions, Kensi shoved a bunch of random stuff into her bag. “Let everybody know I said hi.”

***

“Hey, do you want to build a boat?” Deeks asked, nudging Kensi’s shoulder. She frowned and he held up a tattered magazine with a shiny canoe on the front.

“Mm, I’d need something a little roomier,” she replied, like they weren’t waiting to hear his fate, and simply discussing their weekends plans instead.

Deeks preferred it that way. She’d only seen him crack one, when the doctor first delivered the news, actually giving in to tears and weeks of the unknown. Since then, he’d been almost defiantly chipper, determined no matter what.

“Ok, then what about an RV?” He held up a separate magazine now that promised to hold all the secrets to living the “perfect RV life”. “We never did get around to buying that Spinner van.”

He arched an eyebrow at her, somehow managing to make it sound dirty with a single gesture and returned to his reading.

Kensi studied his face from the side. There were deep shadows beneath his eyes that spoke of exhaustion that no amount of sleep could ever cure. God, she loved him. And she was so terrified of losing him.

Silencing that train of thought, Kensi shifted in her chair, the change doing nothing to make it more comfortable. Everything was wrong here. The chairs were too stiff, the music too quiet and falsely calming, the room too sterile. It grated on her already frayed nerves.

“Mr. Deeks?” called out, peering around the room.

Deeks instantly tensed, head snapping up with a sharpness that betrayed his anxiety. He tossed the magazine to the side, and wordlessly reaching for Kensi’s hand as they both stood, and followed the nurse through to a patient room.

The doctor was waiting for them, which made Kensi’s stomach drop.

“Marty, Kensi, come in,” he greeted them, gesturing for Kensi to shut the door.

Deeks had successfully concealed his apprehension and reached to shake the doctor’s hands.

“Dr. Nehme. I’d say it’s good to see you but…” Deeks trailed off with an ironic shrug. “Well, you know.”

“I do,” Dr. Nehme agreed quietly. From the day they met Dr. Omar Nehme, Kensi had liked him. He was caring, yet straightforward, without any of the beating the bush some of the other doctors seemed prone to. “Why don’t you two sit down.”

They did as suggested, gripping each other’s hands as they sat in the hard plastic chairs, praying for good news.

“Gotta admit, you’re not giving me a whole lot of confidence here,” Deeks drawled after a moment. Dr. Nehme folded his hands together, facing them openly.

“Marty, I know you were hoping that the dialysis and other treatments would be enough to see a change in your kidney function.” He paused and Kensi gripped Deeks’ hand even tighter to stop it from trembling. “Unfortunately, your creatinine numbers haven’t improved. They’ve gotten worse.”

Kensi chest tightened and she couldn’t breathe.

“Ok, well, that’s not ideal,” Deeks murmured. “So, what’s the next step?”

“Right now, your best option is a kidney transplant,” Dr. Nehme answered, looking between them.

Kensi distantly heard Deeks say something, she knew she should be listening, but she couldn’t when everything was crashing down around her.

***

A/N: Ok, I’m playing fast and loose with medicine and disease here. Please ignore this. I don’t want to hear how implausible it all is because I already know it.

Part two to follow.

Thanks for the prompt!

[pipershellokittytop]

the way hazel and jason's friendship ended, that's a thing i will hate forever.

the first form of interaction that we have between these two is that the name hazel was one of the five names that jason remembers, isn't that adorable?. a book later we meet hazel and she tells us that jason was the one who integrated her, the one who showed her new rome, the one who made her feel comfortable in this new world completely unknown to her, he was the first person who could consider someone trustworthy (besides nico obviously).

she admired jason and he considers hazel his friend. all of this could have ended in one of the most beautiful and healthy friendships between two teenagers in media. this all changed when jason and percy were swap.

while camp half-blood spent three days without their hero, camp jupiter spent SIX months without theirs. in this time hazel was just with nico, just because nobody wants to be close to a daughter of pluto obviously. then frank arrived, hazel became someone that jason had once been for her, someone friendly. a while later percy arrived, hazel also was friendly with him, this ending of the three went on a mission together. thus making a very strong connection (which ngl was quite ignored by rick in the next books) but still not forgetting about jason, because this girl mentions several times how good jason was.

some time later the seven got together and began their trip, their quest, after many events we arrived at this famous discussion, the said debate between leaving or rescuing nico from that jar.

to refresh your memory, i'll tell you that the person who suggested that nico should be left there to die was not jason, as you all erroneously always mention, it was actually leo, leo fucking valdez, everyone's favorite but frank and piper's hello kitty top's aka me :) when he mentioned this, hazel asked him what the hell he was thinking.

jason, knowing that leo would not know how to explain himself in a good way, decided to speak and take the subject through logic, which actually makes a lot of sense. nico being supposedly part of percy's search team always knew where he was, this boy had previously tried to kill percy before, he asks if he can really trust him knowing this.

honestly, i think they are both right, hazel's reaction was valid, they are accusing the person who rescued her from eternal boredom, her brother, of being a traitor. but on the other hand jason's point is good, are you really going to put in danger the fate of the world for someone you can't trust? nahh he's not going to risk the lives of his friends for someone he doesn't even know. both sides of the argument are valid, that's a fact, so much that everyone thinks about it, even percy himself who has known nico since he was 10 years old god.

all this caused a break in the relationship between hazel and jason. for her he was no longer that kind boy she once knew, no, she sees him as everyone does, as a perfect hero, so perfect that it gives mistrust. he realizes this and is the whole series trying to fix this. which we know very well that he could not do because these two were never like before. this is something very realistic, due to arguments, friendships never return to the way they were before, due to thinking differently than someone else, relationships are broken.

it's very sad, isn't it? i always imagined that these two would have an inej and matthias from soc type relationship, like "you are actually not that bad, i'm your number one fan :)". i always felt like we needed a friendship between the romans, also i always felt that jason would have been very good friends with frank and hazel (i'll talk about frank and jason's relationship in a future post).

the last thing we have of these two is hazel touching his coffin, saying that they and especially piper needed him. i like to think that hazel said this actually because those 6 months he was in new york, thinking she really needed someone like jason in her life.

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 7: Boyfriend Recommendation

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[masterlist]

It has been 2 months since you moved to Hyogo. In those 2 months, it’s safe to say that you and Kita have gotten pretty close. You didn’t develop a romantic dynamic, but it certainly isn’t platonic either, considering how vocal you are about liking him.

Kita allows you to tease him and do pretty much anything you want as long as you don’t cross the line he never mentioned, but you know is there. It’s all fun and jokes between the two of you, or at least you’re enjoying. You’re not really sure about Kita’s feelings. He never reacts or reciprocates to your actions.

On Kita’s side, he’s not really sure about you. There are times he feels like he likes you, but then the contrast of your personalities make him question your compatibility as a couple, if ever you become one. He just can’t imagine dating someones like you: extravagant, outgoing, impulsive, sometimes childish. His heart is telling him to go for it, but his mind is just so hesitant.

The only thing you have in common is Rice. That’s it. You both own Rice. But even how you raise the dog is conflicting.

He wants Rice to sleep in the living room? You want Rice to sleep in your room.

He wants Rice to eat less food because the dog’s getting fat? You feed him more and give unnecessary snacks.

For the meantime, your relationship label is: Rice’s parents.

“Rice, come here,” you call the dog, patting the space in between your legs. “Wanna join me in today’s live?” Rice barks as a response and excitedly goes between your legs. He doesn’t understand what you’re saying, but the way you’re patting the mat is making his tail wag.

You go to your Instagram and start a live. A few seconds later, you see people coming in so you greet them. “Hello everyone! Did you have a nice day? Ohh... Some of you are still at cram school. Then why are you watching my live? Shouldn’t you be studying?”

You continue to go on live, showing your viewers what Rice has learned in the span of two months. Sit, down, roll, play dead, paw, other paw, nose: those are all you’ve taught him. Kita taught him the more practical tricks. Like, get your bowl, go to your bed, stay, wait, don’t go out. Sometimes, when you go to school, Rice goes to the fields with Kita and help him carry his towel.

“Can you do the my boyfriend does my makeup challenge?” You read, making you laugh. “I love the video recommendation but can you also recommend a boyfriend?”

You see names pop up in the replies but you don’t actually mind them. You look for questions but you just see names, so you decide to end the video like that. “I have to go now. I will consider your recommendation hahaha. Bye!”

Turning the live off, you hear the door open. Rice hears it, too, so he excitedly runs to your door, waiting for you to open it. “Dad’s here? Are you excited?” Rice barks so you rise from your bed and open the door for him. He runs to the front door and you wait for Kita at the living room.

“Hi,” you greet him with your usual smile. He ignores you and heads to the kitchen, holding Rice in his arms. “Why does he look mad?” You mutter to yourself. You follow him in the kitchen, linking your arms with his. “Bad day?”

He humms then shakes you off. You pout. You hug him from behind this time and he lets you stay like that, knowing you won’t give up on your tactics. “I watched your live,” he speaks up after a long moment of silence.

“All of it?” You ask him, burying your face on his back. You take in his scent and sigh in satisfaction. He smells really fresh despite staying under the sun the whole day. He smells like home. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Let’s do the makeup challenge your fans suggested,” he suddenly tells you, ignoring your question. You let go of him and pinch his side, but he still doesn’t give you a reaction.

You cross your arms, leaning on the counter top behind you. “No.” You reject his offer and he faces you with his stone ace.

“Is it because I’m not your boyfriend?” He raises an eyebrow.

You shake your head. “You don’t even like being in front of the camera. Why would you film a video with me?”

He dodges your question again. “I can hide my face from the frame.”

“You are acting suspicious right now,” you furrowed your eyebrows, eyes squiented. “What’s the catch?”

“Nothing. You just get new content,” Kita answers which Rice barks at. “See? Even Rice agrees.”

“Are you sure you’re okay about filming? What even went in your mind that you’re suddenly on board about this makeup challenge?” You chuckle, not believing what’s happening. Kita hates being filmed. He doesn’t even want his pictures to be taken. He’s private like that.

“The boyfriend recommendations,” he mumbles quickly as he turns so you don’t hear him. “Nothing. Just felt like it.”

After a lot of thinking you finally say yes to him. You set up the camera in your room, the screen hidden from you. The mirror is also covered with a piece of cloth so Kita can surprise you with the look he’s going to do on you. He finally enters your room in his matching cotton maroon pajama pants and sweats.

“I have a nightgown that matches yours! I wanna wear it, too!” You excitedly tell him, shoving him out of the room so you can change.

After changing into a plain silk slip on dress in the same shade, you call him to come back in. He stops at the doorway as he sees you. The way you look so simple yet so attractive causes blood to rush on his face and somewhere else in his lower body. He won’t admit the latter, but he can feel it.

“Want to start filming?” You ask him, not noticing his red ears. He nods at you and stands at the side, waiting for a signal for him to come in the frame.

You do your usual introduction then finally explain what’s going to happen in the video. “So for today’s video, I will do a challenge that has been requested a lot and for a very long time now. Today I will be doing the ‘boyfriend does my makeup’ challenge. But the man in this film is not my boyfriend. I want to clarify that before you jump to conclusions. He’s...” you take a glance at him and he’s looking at you nonchalantly so you feel shy. “Umm... he’s the other parent of Rice. We are co-parenting Rice. I guess you can say that we are good friends.”

Kita finally enters the frame, but only his shoulder to hip can be seen in the camera. “What do I call you?” You ask him and he just shrugs. You smile, an idea popping into you’re mind. “I’ll call you baby.”

“No,” he firmly says, but you just stick your tongue out to him. He looks down at you, then gulps. The sexual tension between the two of you is growing, and you’re aware. You have fun teasing Kita because you know he won’t do anything about it, which is something that made you fall deeper for him.

“Whatever, baby,” you giggle. He pinches your cheek in irritation so you whine jokingly. You go back to recording and leave the fate of your face on the man beside you. “So we will now start the challenge. Baby, go on.”

Kita does a sarcastic gagging face at the nickname before he goes through your makeup box. He picks up a random sponge and foundation. “Is this right?” He asks you but you don’t answer him. “Wait, you really don’t help me even just a bit?”

“No, baby,” you tell him. The nickname coming out of your mouth sounds so natural. He likes it, but he won’t tell you that, but he won’t stop you from calling him that either.

“If you turn out ugly after this, it’s your face’s fault,” he says in a serious tone so you jokingly punch his side. He puts an amount of liquid foundation on your forehead, and you feel it drip down the nose of your bridge. “I don’t think I’m doing this right.”

After doing your foundation, he grabs an eyeliner. “Already?” You chuckle and he puts it back on the table. He takes a contour palette and confidently grabs an eyeshadow brush. He does random strokes on your eyelids, lowkey scaring you.

He stares at you intensely before looking away with a disappointed look on your face. “Baby, what did you do?”

“Wait, I think this will fix it.” Kita takes the eyeliner again so you close your eyes, allowing him to draw on your lids. “It doesn’t look that bad with your eyes closed.”

“Should I just close my eyes the whole time?” You snort. You hear him say open, so you look up to him, your eyes meeting his. He takes his lower lip in between his lips, concentrating on your lids. ‘May all the gods help me not do anything to this man.’

He continued doing your makeup in silence, while you do almost all of the talking, asking him the most random questions which he answers calmly despite how weird the question may get.

“Baby, if a cockroach lands on a soap, will the cockroach be cleaned or will the soap be dirty?”

“You know what (Y/N), this is by far the most stupid question you’ve asked, not just in this video but ever since we’ve met.”

Kita is putting mascara on you when you suddenly open your eyes, causing him to poke the stick in your eye. You groan in pain so he drops the mascara on the table and attends to you.

“Baby, are you okay? Let me see.” He grabs both of your cheeks, and checks your reddening eye. The pain has subsided due to him calling you baby. He blows on your eyes, his face getting closer to you.

“Baby, huh?” You mock and he rolls his eyes at you. He continues to do your makeup, being extra careful this time.

“I think we’re done,” he says after putting wand of the lipgloss back on. He takes a look at you and chuckles.

“How bad is it?” You ask him in worry.

“Don’t you trust me?” He pouts and you shake your head. He puts his hand on top of your head, and shakes it gently, making you laugh. “You’re so annoying.”

“You like me like that!”

‘I do.’

Kita finally removes the cloth from the mirror so you see yourself. You gasp, not expecting Kita to do a good job. It’s not the best, but it’s something you can wear out. It’s simple but somehow looks so elegant. Just like Kita.

“You did a really good job.” You smile at him. You start filming for the outro of your video after that.

After doing the outro, Kita just stands there and looks at you. “What?” You chuckle, looking his way.

“Nothing. You look good,” he replies, making you a flustered mess.

“Stop saying that. I won’t be able to resist and kiss you,” you threaten him with a pout.

He shrugs. “Go for it.”

Heat spreads across your face from his words. You scream in frustration and he just chuckles. Kita walks closer to you while you hide your blushing face in the palm of your hands. “Don’t move any closer. I swear I will do it.”

“I told you already, go for it.” He bends down to your sitting height, but you look away. “This is the only time I will allow you to do it.”

You remove your hands away from your face, then you see that Kita’s face is close to yours. “What is with you today?” You groan, turning your back on him.

Kita spins your chair to make you face him again. “I don’t know. The jealousy and your nightgown I guess.”

“What?” You stutter, not comprehending his words.

Before you can even ask what he means, Kita’s lips are already on top of yours. Your eyes widen in shock, not processing anything. A few moments later, you give in to his lips. And at that same time, he pulls away, leaving you disappointed.

“Good night, baby.”

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Note: Just a short update because school and work are taking so much of my time skskksksks hopefully I get to go back to my daily updates after hell week :|

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[iaintyourbro]

The Unknown Journey Continues

Part 1

I know it's been a while... but I've been going down a rabbit hole with @starlight-samurai regarding time loops, Jenova, Minerva, and more fun. So I figured I'd try to put it into one post to get the insanity out of my head. Everything in here is based on things we've found by either going through more obscure Ultimanias, learning more about Dirge of Cerberus and trying to decipher what the hell Jenova is by putting together various sources - including other Square Enix games - and how they handled freakishly similar scenarios.

Did you know there is a companion mobile game for it that was out on the good old flip phones? Did you know there was an online mode in Dirge of Cerberus only available in Japan, but had story elements that were not in the main game?

The sad part is, there's still so much to go through...

(I've also had various discussions with @ourfinalheaven, Manu, who doesn't have Tumblr, so here is her Twitter. and Somebody's Nightmare (here is her Twitter). So I wanted to tag them here, as it's much more fun to discuss these ideas as a group, since it'll only help you build on and strengthen your own ideas.)

Please be aware, there will be Spoilers for FFVII - Almost all Compilation titles, Xenogears, and NieR Automata throughout this.

So let's go on a journey where we explore what actually already exists in the compilation - including the idea of the whispers and timeloops - how Minerva may play into everything, and what exactly Jenova is capable of doing.

I asked Sesi if he'd ever played any of the NieR games, because he'd said something that made me wonder if they were going to take a similar approach. As a very, very quick high level summary: NieR Automata deals with a time loop type of idea. The androids will be rebooted and repeat the same things over and over again. This is broken when 2B is killed by A2 because she becomes infected with a virus. That being said, you have the option after Ending E to either erase all of your data and end the cycle OR you can try again. The Pods have a discussion, and one asks, "But won't they just do the same thing again?" and the other replies with "Maybe. But it could also be different this time."

Here's Sesi's message back to me when I asked him about this (cleaned up a bit since we were having a casual conversation over Discord):

Maybe I could just guess based comparatively on the Dirge storyline, because that was sort of SE's first flirtation with “robots and androids” since they’re all programmed and locked behind like task managers and shit that can shut them down. The story of the online mode for DoC that came out in Japan, we never got to see it, you’re basically an Android OC and you have to get to “the end of the level” and then essentially die, and a new one takes its place. This keeps happening until Weiss is essentially freed from being able to be task managed by the guys who are suppose to be able to control them and I know from tons of years with Square games that they’re verrrrry bad at differentiating their narratives they tend to just keep “ripping themselves off” so is it anything close to that?

Cuz if so I think I kinda know what you’re saying and yeah, I agree, I think with CC bringing in its poetic symbolism and LOVELESS, and DoC bringing back the cyclic nature of the lore, whispers, premonitions and future visions, proto-Materia and the perversion of this next cycle since the planet can no longer cleanse and protect itself and its will is weakening lesser and lesser to the point where it’s fate is “in a true sense of jeopardy This time essentially it’s all tied in together and sort of played as though it's a fated track; a cycle of events and something has hitched it, thus the whispers manifesting and Sephiroth's higher implied control over his destiny. Of course, even all that is just their new red herring game, but it’s definitely a part of the lore they want to play with, in order to go back and reMAKE the OG with the comp inserted from inception. Also gut punch a lot.

Time Loops

I was somewhat surprised to find out that this concept is NOT new to FFVII's universe. It's discussed in Dirge of Cerberus... probably one of the least played and least understood of the compilation. (Trying to sell a third person shooter with terrible controls to a market of mostly people used to turn-based combat wasn't going to go well.)

On top of it, we didn't even get all of it, since online mode was never released outside of Japan, and the Dirge of Cerberus Lost Episode was on Amp'd Mobile and Verizon flip phones back in 2006. Were you around for the cell phones in 2006? I had the ones on the list, and how somebody could play a game on those blows my mind.

Square has a tendency to reuse themes from their other titles. Probably one of the most blatant is the similarities between Xenogears and Final Fantasy VII. They were both being developed at the same time and a lot of ideas that didn't make it into FFVII ended up in Xenogears.

NieR

So how does this work? In NieR (both Replicant and Automata), you play the same path multiple times. Each time, it's slightly different depending on what side quests you did your first and second playthrough, but there's also other subtle differences throughout the story. In Automata, you get to play as 2B your first playthrough and 9S for your second. They follow the same path, but you get it from his perspective the second time and it reveals a bit more of what is going on. However, even with some slight differences, the main plot points stay the same and the ending result it also the same.

Then on your third playthrough, you wake up in the Bunker, and you're getting ready to go on a new mission. This time, though, 2B is killed and shit hits the fan. Things get crazy, you play as a new character: A2. In the end, pretty much everyone "dies", but you can choose to "reboot" and try again. You also can say you are done and let them all rest and delete your save data (the game gives you the option for both Automata and Replicant, and with Replicant, it actually leads to a new ending).

The striking thing for me is... There are certain events that will always happen, no matter what.

Fixed Points in Time

It's been years since I've watched Doctor Who, but there was something that stuck with me, and that was the fixed points in time. You can read about all of them here, but here's the basics:

Now, of course Doctor Who goes into this with much more detail and it's a recurring theme. However, as you read through that page, you'll probably find many aspects that have been used in various JRPGs that you've played. And Doctor Who most likely pulled some of the idea from classic Science Fiction novels. Each story puts its own spin on it.

How does this relate to FFVII Remake? Well, when they say that the major plot points will stay the same, it reminds me of this. No matter what, Cloud must fall into the Sector 5 Church, the Sector 7 Plate must be dropped, Aerith and Zack both must die, and Meteor has to be summoned, to name a few. So, with a time loop, those things would still have to take place in order to prevent a complete collapse of reality (at least in how Doctor Who uses it).

Therefore, the Whispers are ensuring that the Will of the Planet is followed.

One of the major themes in FFVII is that of loss. People die and they do not come back. Yes, other FF games do allow this to happen (FFX, FFXIII, FFXV), but VII is not those games. It was written with that idea in mind, that once a person dies, they, just like in real life, are dead and cannot be brought back.

I've previously written that I think they'll make us believe we are able to change fate, but we will eventually be slammed with the reality that we can't. That is because the planet has determined that certain events are fixed points.

Xenogears

Xenogears takes a bit of a different approach to the loop idea. Instead of repeating the same time period over and over, it has the characters reincarnated, and the same outcome happens each time: Elly dies. However, each time it's different. After all, they're in various time periods, in some cases thousands of years apart.

In all of the lives of Fei (who will have a different name in each time period) and Elly (who is always Elly/Elhaym), Elly will end up dying trying to protect Fei and the others. In one life, she is a religious figure at a totally not Catholic church, in another she's the wife of a scientist who was working to create children from nanomachines due to mass infertility issues. But she is ALWAYS with Fei, even if his name changes.

In her Mother Elhaym time, this is when Lacan (Fei) finally snaps. Though he's not fully aware of his past lives, he becomes aware, the anger consumes him, and he becomes Grahf. Fei is then reborn into the time period you play the game in.

There's a lot to unpack with this, so I won't go into it. Grahf wants to destroy God (Deus) because he thinks if he does, then it'll stop the suffering (his suffering).

If you do want to read more about Grahf, you can do so here, but it probably won't make much sense unless you've played Xenogears up to that point... Since it's much later in the game that this is all explained.

Lacan's desire was to stop the cycle of Elly always sacrificing herself for his sake. Though Grahf is not a perfect existence - he's not fully "The Contact", he sacrifices himself in order to let Fei move forward, and hopefully stop the cycle, by destroying the Deus system. (Elly also tries to sacrifice herself here, but Fei goes after her and stops her.)

Now, some people may think I'm saying that Cloud or somebody is going to do this in order to save Aerith or Zack (or his village or mom), but in FFVII if they do the loop method, I don't think Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and the others are aware of it. Most likely, it's only 'Sephiroth' and Aerith who are aware of it.

How this Could Be used for Final Fantasy VII

I'm stressing could because there's so many different possibilities on how they use this (if they are using this), so please, don't take this as fact. This is based on speculation based on what we know.

A time loop is a great way to explain away the differences in the story that we've seen: Biggs being alive, Wedge living for longer than he should have, etc. Since these are not major plot changes, they can simply say that this time it'll be slightly different... but your fixed points (major plot points) will remain the same.

It's a way to pull in some of the more obscure themes from Dirge of Cerberus and also play with the LOVELESS lore.

It could all simply be a big red herring and it's really just a remake of OG, but with the compilation tied together nicely... since it works much better when it's combined and not in 50 different games, books, movies, etc.

I don't think it's a "sequel" per say, not in the way I generally perceive a sequel. It's more of a loop of the same thing. The question is, when is the loop started and what will cause it to end? When will the planet (if it even is the planet) determine that it's good enough to begin moving forward?

JENOVA, Sephiroth, Genesis, and Minerva - Oh My!

Let's be real... Genesis isn't exactly the most popular character in the FFVII Compilation... but what if they make him one of the most important to the story? //Ducks as various fruits and vegetable are thrown in my direction//

I think what Genesis is probably most known for is his love of LOVELESS. He has the entire thing memorized and randomly says lines from it throughout Crisis Core. LOVELESS lore is still something I'm trying to grasp, so I am not going to comment much on it. Once I understand it more, I'll update this.

...And then this happens. The secret ending for Dirge of Cerberus, where Genesis picks up Weiss. Weiss, who has now been introduced along with Nero in FFVII INTERmission and is an optional ridiculously hard boss in the Shinra battle simulator in chapter 17 of the main story. There is some lore associated with the battle sim - so if you don't plan on beating it or you just can't, you can look up the pre-battle and post-battle cut scenes on YouTube. They're very short, but interesting. (I beat this asshole last night - it's a hell of a fight.)

....To Be Continued because apparently Tumblr won't allow more than 10 images per post now.... Next will be more on JENOVA and Sephiroth along with Minerva.

[cafedanslanuit]

Legend

♡   —   personal favourites

☆   —   fan favourites

♠   —   nsfw

♫   —   includes songs

Headcanons

RFA + Saeran - Dirty Dancing  ♫ ♡

RFA + Saeran - MC wants to have her own business

RFA - MC is ten years older than them ♡

RFA - What goes through their mind when they’re cuddling? ☆

RFA + Vanderwood - Having a rebellious kid ♡

RFA - MC can’t sleep unless with them

RFA - A bubbly MC makes self-deprecating jokes as a coping mechanism ♡

RFA - MC that is bubbly, confident and never afraid to stand up for someone

Yoosung dragging MC back to bed because it’s raining

RFA + V - MC blasts music when she’s upset ♫

RFA + V + Saeran - MC with a passion for anime and drawing

RFA + V + Saeran - MC with a major in fashion

RFA + Saeran - Quarantine edition ♡

RFA + V + Saeran + Obey Me! brothers on a trip to the beach ♡ ☆

RFA - MC with a hand fetish

MC has Jumin trying commoner food

Zen + Jumin + Saeyoung - MC is selfconscious about being chubby and they make her feel better  ♠ ♡

Jumin comforts MC about a guy who is texting her constantly and making her upset

RFA reacts to a MC that is called Elizabeth

RFA + V + Saeran - As Les Misérables songs  ♫ ♡

Saeyoung messes with Yoosung’s phone to help him out

Saeyoung x MC - MC makes her own music

Latina!MC and Jumin get stuck with MC’s latino parents during quarantine ♡

RFA + Saeran - MC gets her wisdom teeth out ♡ ☆

RFA + V + Saeran - MC has a bad coping mechanism of punching her thighs (tw!)

Domestic Texts Series: Zen & MC || Saeran & MC ♡

RFA - MC is obsessed with Elizabeth the 3rd

RFA + V + Saeran with a MC that likes going to protests

RFA - MC grew up in really bad poverty

RFA + V + Saeran - They find out MC is only eighteen after everything that happened during their routes ☆

RFA - How do they calm MC when she’s anxious?

RFA - MC has dyslexia

RFA - MC with chronic pain

Royal AUs with Jumin, Zen and Yoosung

Love Language Event with Yoosung, Zen, Jumin, Saeyoung, Saeran and V

Happy New Year Event with Saeyoung, Saeran, Zen, V and Yoosung

Thirst Asks [+18]

[All Asks]

[Jumin] [Jihyun] [Yoosung]

Fanfiction

Mystic Messenger as failed love stories  ♡

reminiscing about the characters and your failed love stories in an alternate universe

You get me ♡

What happens when you’ve finally found your prince charming, but he doesn’t seem to fit in your life anymore?

Bet you can’t leave me

Mystic Messenger Week 2020. “The first time she threatened to leave me, I felt like I was dying.”

Who are you?

Drabble prompt - Zen always sought recognition for his work. Lately, he’s been using other resource to achieve his goals.

Dance with me

Latina!MC tries to teach Zen to dance bachata.

Jealousy [Kinktober 2020 - Day 2] ♠

When Zen agreed to be MC's plus one at a fancy party, he never expected she would lock them both inside a bathroom in a fit of jealousy. The hunger in her eyes could only indicate she was about to remind him who he was with.

A plan gone wrong [Mysme Angst Week - Day 1]

You convinced Zen to stage a fake coffee date in order to give Jumin, your fiancé, a wake up call about how much he had been ignoring you lately. However, things don't go as planned.

i could buy you anything but i cannot buy you  ♠ ♡

[kinktober 2021 - day fifteen: body worship] Zen had always had the need to be in control for a lot of years. (...) His guard may not be up as much as it did back then, but to this day Zen still takes a second look at any situation he’s in. He can’t let anything drive him away from his acting career so he always has to give his best and not take anything for granted.

You get me  ♡

What happens when you’ve finally found your prince charming, but he doesn’t seem to fit in your life anymore?

I always wanted to marry rich

Jumin Han stood with his hand holding the doorknob, not believing what he had just heard. There was no way this was happening. Not days before his wedding. Not only that, days before he married who he thought was the love of his life. The one who he thought he could trust, the one that didn’t ask for anything but his love and attention.

Home

You are staying at Jaehee’s after Jumin did something that made you really angry. While staying there, you start feeling sick and end up at the hospital. What you first thought was nothing to worry about, quickly turns into a nightmare that could change your relationship.

Sweet Creature  ♫ ♡

Jumin gets stuck in another country away from his wife due to the pandemic. He’s been having trouble falling asleep, so MC decides to tell him a bedtime story. A simple request ends up making Jumin open up about a small insecurity he had over his wife and his best friend.

If I could tell him  ♫

Request: “can i request a jumin fic where MC has a crush on jumin but is very shy and so ends up talking with the other members more and then jumin confronts her about it and she accidentally confesses/he confesses.”

Animal I Have Become  ♫

500 followers event. “So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it’s not the real me.”

Young God ♫  ♠

500 followers event. “He says: “Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges. I’m the king of everything, you know my tongue is a weapon. There’s a line on the clock that’s separating your thighs, if you wanna go to Heaven you should fuck me tonight.”

Crowded Room  ♫ ♡ ☆

500 followers event. “Baby, it’s just me and you, just us two, even in a crowded room, baby it’s just me and you” - [SMAU Epilogue]

Dear Jumin ♡ ☆

What if after all the events that happened during Jumin’s route, he didn’t fall in love with MC?

A new life

When MC gets into a car accident, Jumin ends up with her medical records. He never thought he would find out about what happened to his wife six years ago.

You see me in my room, wish you were here right now [Kinktober 2020 - Day 12] ♠ ☆

Jumin Han clicks on a pop-up ad and gets stuck into a cam girl website. As he waits for someone to come to his penthouse and fix his laptop, he can't help but notice a young woman giggling as she read through he comment section. From that moment on, he's hooked. And he can't wait to see more of her.

Sometimes I think about Elizabeth [Mysme Angst Week - Day 3]

Jumin tries to deal with the grief of losing Elizabeth the 3rd.

A late night conversation

A late night conversation with Jumin takes another turn into a much better scenario. [Fix-it fic for Jumin's DLC. Set on Episode 3]

Seven Minutes in Heaven - Holidays Edition  ♠

You’re home for the holidays and your friends invite you to a party. After a couple of drinks, one of them proposes playing seven minutes in heaven and makes everyone at the party leave an item of theirs in a small basket. When it’s finally your turn, you walk over and inspect the items before choosing the one that will decide your fate for the night.

A day off

For @/mysme-rbb event! You convince Jumin to take a small trip to the theme park. Taking into consideration it was the first time either of you had stepped foot in a place like that, it went exactly like expected.

you know i’m just a flight away (if you wanted you could take a private plane) ♠ ♡ ☆

[kinktober 2021 - day five: sex tape] Knowing Jumin is about to leave on yet another work trip, you suggest recording something for him to see while away. A little souvenir so he doesn't miss you too much- but now he's not sure he wants to leave at all.

Superstar  ♫

500 followers event. “Before I met you, I pushed them all away / Soon as I kissed you, I wanted you to stay.”

What you always wanted

Mystic Messenger Week 2020. As MC’s anniversary with Saeyoung is approaching, she asks her friends of the RFA for advice on what present is the best one. After several recommendations, she decides on what she should give him. Her only hope is that he’ll be happy with her choice.

The Ghost Of You   ♡   [ Vietnamese translation ]

A love story between a man with a mysterious job and a nurse during the Second World War. “And all the things that you never ever told me and all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me. Never coming home, never coming home.”

Loving You ☆

Drabble Prompt. “I am profoundly enchanted by the flowing complexity in you.” - John Keats

Discoveries [Kinktober 2020 - Day 27] ♠

After you find a transparent light blue dildo hidden in Saeyoung's room, the question hangs in the air. Why not trying it out together?

Lost on you [Mysme Angst Week - Day 2]

A discussion about how to handle Saeran's recovery turns into the worst fight Saeyoung and MC have ever had. Both of them bring back past memories that should have never been talked about, in a desperate try to prove their point, not noticing how much they're tearing their relationship apart.

Just like him [Mysme Angst Week - Day 7]

No one teaches you how to grief. Sometimes you just do whatever it helps the pain go away.

give me the stars

For @/gureishi’s event. A small piece to celebrate Saeyoung’s birthday. A late-night escapade for two young lovers.

Wildest Dreams  ♫ ♡

500 followers event. Slightly NSFW. “He says no one has to know what we do, his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.”

Seven Minutes in Heaven - Holidays Edition ♠

You’re home for the holidays and your friends invite you to a party. After a couple of drinks, one of them proposes playing seven minutes in heaven and makes everyone at the party leave an item of theirs in a small basket. When it’s finally your turn, you walk over and inspect the items before choosing the one that will decide your fate for the night.

Beautiful  ♡

Jihyun has a couple of burn scars on his torso after the fire that took his mother’s life. You make sure you know he loves every part of him.

Wait for me

When the pandemic starts, MC gets stuck in another country, away from Saeran who was just starting his recovery. She tries to work a system with him so they can feel close even when they’re kilometres apart.

How ♫

500 followers event. “I’m asking for your help, I am going through hell, afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice.”

Vanilla ♠ ♡ ☆

NSFW. Saeran’s favourite place was between MC’s legs.

Apricity

Drabble Prompt. He never understood the reason behind this change (...). All he knew was that when winter came, he would start feeling tired out of nowhere and he would lose his appetite.

Gardening

Drabble Prompt. In which Saeyoung and MC break one of Saeran’s pot and they try to cover it up before he gets home.

All I’ve Ever Known  ♡ ☆

Drabble Prompt. Saeran has some doubts before his wedding. Thankfully, you’re there to send all his worries away.

Not to be able to love

Drabble Prompt. He wants to love her, he does. But when you’ve been through that much, it gets hard to love and not need.

Four Seasons (15 chapters)  ♠ ♡

Saeran’s After Ending. Saeran has finally found MC and is ectasic to finally be able to enjoy the good ending his tumultous life has reached. But with Saeyoung still missing and Mint Eye around, his happiness may have to wait a little more. Was love really capable to win against his inner demons or will he have to learn to fight for himself?

In another life [Mysme Angst Week - Day 4]

When MC knows her time is coming, she promises Saeran she will do whatever it takes to find him in another life. The only mistake was that she didn't expect to find him like that.

Our time

Saeran is saying his goodbyes but this time, you decide not to let him go. || Fix-it fic for Saeran's After Ending

even in the dark

For @/gureishi’s event. A small piece to celebrate Saeran’s birthday. Some days are better than others. But the people who love us stay through it all.

[zerokogane]

Pt 2 of me needing to scream about certain fics so here are some of my favorite persona 5 fanfics (be warned most of these of not all are going to be shuake and ongoing)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855097

Shuake, ongoing, rated M, 154k+

Discerption:

Akechi Goro is alive – one of his biggest regrets is alive and standing in front of him looking like he’s ready for some highbrow sports photo shoot when what he really needs is five years intensive therapy and at least five more steps away from Akira.

No, no, no – the universe is not allowed to shove this on him so soon after it just flung him three fucking years into the past.

(Sometimes the only way to save someone is to let them save you first.)

(Huge canon divergence. Akira's past and future affect him big time.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30228501/chapters/74488923

No ships,ongoing, rated T, 18k+

Discerption:

Even the simplest of decisions can challenge fate.

As it so happens, the 11th of April was supposed to be a fateful one. But as Akira prepares for his first day at Shujin Academy, he notices the dark clouds hanging above Leblanc, and decides to take his umbrella. And while he arrives at Shujin a little rained on and more than a little harried, he manages to arrive on time.

Two weeks later, a strange group calling themselves the Phantom Thieves steal their first heart.

--

Or, the one where Akira becomes the Phantom Thieves’ target instead of their leader.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21359908/chapters/50877694

No ships, ongoing, rated T, 36k+

Discerption:

Morgana still thought the transfer student was cool; that much was clear when Mona came strolling through the entrance of Mementos with Amamiya on his heels. ...They'd known that if Morgana was fulfilling Phansite requests, he must be accessing the internet with the help of a human, but they hadn't expected that human to be Ren Amamiya. The guy had been requested on the site himself no fewer than four times.

Or: in another timeline, things go a little differently when Morgana leaves the team. Instead of finding a beauty thief, he allies himself with the transfer student who's still a mystery to the Phantom Thieves.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427372/chapters/67045327

Shuake, ongoing, rated T, 9k+

Discerption:

Goro’s mother never committed suicide and continued to raise Goro for years regardless of how much money she had or what food she could put on the table.

Goro is grateful for everything his mother has done and resents his father with every fiber of his being. Using his rookie detective skills to put his father behind bars.

Akira is a curious transfer student from Inaba who finds himself drawn in by Goro Akechi’s mysterious nature, and naturally tries to find out more.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27602039/chapters/67525049

Shuake, ongoing, rated M, 46k+

Discerption:

Akira knew this wasn't normal. That the life he had come to know was overlapped with a mystery he was unwillingly tied to.

Every decision has consequences. Avoid one terrible fate and you may cause another.

Although it would be great if he knew what the hell was happening in the first place.

~~~

A New Game+ where Akira’s decisions are influenced (whether intentionally or not) by an influx of scattered memories from a past life he has no idea about. And the metaverse has changed, for the better or worse.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31549295/chapters/78053357

pegoryu, ongoing, rated T, 21k+

Discerption:

"You are Phantom!" Ann shouted as she saw the man with the domino mask landing in front of them.

The man smiled at her. His red eyes behind the mask had yet again managed to entrance them making them follow every movement he did. He elegantly bowed at them as his deep charismatic and gentle voice echoed through the room.

"I am quite pleased that you recognize me. But that name is just the one that fans have given me."

He stood up and a splash appeared behind him destroying the shadow. He smirked at them as he fixed his glove.

"The name is Joker. And the Show's over."

An au fic that explores the idea of what if Akira was already a phantom thief before the events of P5. It follows the story of P5, plus P5R but with different outcomes.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31056191/chapters/76721054

Shuake + others, ongoing, rated T, 10K+

Discerption:

misterstealyourmans: aaanyways

misterstealyourmans: mishima told me of an idea he had and i was going to tell it to everyone

misterstealyourmans: but i forgot everyone else is cowards that actually have sleep schedules

tinygremlin: ew sleep schedules

tinygremlin: get it away, kill it with fire

After killing two gods in a row, you'd think your life would go back to normal, wouldn't you?

If you're the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, think again.

(Or, the PT get the ability to talk amongst themselves and the anons of the Phan-site more. Chaos ensues.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31097024

No ships, one-shot, 5k+

Discerption:

After the interrogation, the Phantom Thieves stay the night at LeBlanc to care for their leader.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24690265

Shuake, one-shot, rated G, 2k+

Discerption:

"i have to go," goro tells him. even as he remains curled up in ren's arms, his wings brushing up against the raven's own larger ones, mottled cream contrasting against dark black. "sakura-san is going to be over here any time, i have to leave before he gets here."

"but why?"