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porchlightfairy · 2 years ago

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Our Love, Infinite Love

pairing: eddie munson x reader

summary: Sometimes you just have to give it another try. For the sake of love.

wc: 2k+

based on these two songs Our Love , Infinite Love. neither has lyrics but still impactful to the story. but I made a whole playlist to listen to.

a/n: this is the final installment of the Cellophane series. I will not be making any more for this series, not even an epilogue. thank you for enjoying this series. And I hope you like this part.

cellophane, i want you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You would hate to admit it but you were a hopeless romantic. Your dreams of finding the one for you was an ongoing journey. But the relationships started to space out too far. They were saying they can’t handle the pressure, the commitment, or the tours and the time away from each other. It’s been years since your last relationship. You are starting to lose hope now. You were starting to lose interest. Dating wasn’t fun anymore. You felt like you were wasting your breath trying to put yourself out there.

You were at an A-lister party. It was somebody’s birthday but the party was at someone else’s house. The house was filled to the brim with celebrities. You didn’t recognize half of the people here even though they all knew who you were.

You grew tired of the networking, the people begging for your attention, and the ideas that needed ‘your’ money. You decided to slip out onto the roof balcony to take a breather. As the cool wind nipped at your face, you caught the stale scent of cigarette smoke. You cringe at the smell and then look over your shoulder.

Facing the opposite way was Eddie Munson smoking a cigarette. He didn’t notice you. His hair was longer, and you could see he had more tattoos on his arms. He was only wearing a t-shirt and vest in the cool air. It was summertime so you guess it wasn't too bad. He takes another puff of his cigarette, “Are you just going to stand there and stare, or are you going to come over and say hi?”

You stiffen up before clearing your throat, “Sorry, I barely recognized you over here.” You walk closer, “Hi.”

He straightens up and his eyes flicker, “I didn’t know it was you,” He smiles, “It’s good to see you.”

“You too. It’s been… a while.” You lean against the railing, “You look good.”

“So do you.” He glances at you, “Pretty as always.”

You roll your eyes. “It won’t be that easy, Munson.”

Since that award ceremony night, you and Eddie have seen each other sparingly. Once a year at the very least. You were cordial with each other, with fleeting glances, lingering touches, and maybe longing kisses. Okay, maybe after the ceremony you were still yearning for each other. You’ve been flying under the radar sneaking to each other’s residency and laying in bed together. Even during your relationships, you would rendezvous with Eddie after a party. You could admit how self-sabotaging you were but you were a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on the hopeless. It was a relapse, every year he would show up at your door looking like a kicked puppy soaking in the rain, begging for you to let him in. And without hesitation, you would. Your clothes trail through the hall to your bedroom then by morning he would be gone.

He takes another drag of his cigarette, “Worth a shot. How are you doing? Heard another album is on the way.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Almost done with it.” You clasp your hands together.

“Tell me more about it.” He straightens up and pretends to be an interviewer, “You’re practically hitting the ceiling with these singles. And another album on the way, could you tell me more about it.” He holds out his cigarette as if passing the microphone.

You laugh as you take it, “Thank you. Well, it’s about love. And how it comes in different forms.”

“Oh, how fascinating, tell me more.” He leans closer.

“Um, just how you fall in love, out of love, unrequited love, and stuff like that. You never expect love to be the way you want. And sometimes you have to give it up.”

“Are you talking about your engagement?” He asks. He sounds like the interviewer persona but the look on his face looks like he was genuinely asking.

“Yeah. He was nice. Really nice but I feel like I was weighing him down, y’know? I was swamped with album releases, tour dates, and photoshoots. I just didn’t have time.” You shuffle your feet.

The engagement was a year ago. He was pretty much not in the spotlight and met you at a label party. He was nice and wanted to get to know you. He treated you well and was always on your arm. He protected you from the paparazzi. He was everything you could wish for but still not enough. There was still a gaping hole in your heart he couldn’t fill. So, you broke it off.

You snap out of your memories and immediately place the butt between your lips. As you exhale the smoke, your nerves ease and your body go slack against the railing. Eddie takes the cigarette from you. “I understand the feeling. I thought I found the one too.”

You perk up at the statement, blinking in surprise, “Really?!”

“Don’t act surprised. You’ll hurt my feelings.” He elbows you, “I did, I did. She was one of our openers for the American tour. We went everywhere together so I kinda just fell for her. She was fun and wild but I realized I needed to slow down. I’m not going to be young forever. I shouldn’t be acting like it anymore.”

“Really? Does this mean…?”

“No more drugs and less alcohol. I know that probably makes me a stick in the mud but I need a change of pace.” He sighs, “Now this is the last habit I can’t seem to shake.” He waves around the cigarette before taking one long drag and crushing it to dust.

“I’m happy for you. That’s really nice, Eddie.” You say.

He grins at you before turning back to the city skyline. The sound of the highway in the distance with the wind. You don’t realize how close you are to Eddie until you feel his arm rub against yours. You glance up at him and let out a breath, “You know I thought—”

“Can I just say—” Eddie says at the same time. You laugh at each other. “Sorry, you go first.”

“I was going to say, I thought we were okay. Together, I mean.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it was the peak of both of our careers. I just finished my debut album and you were touring America for the second time. Our lives were moving too fast. We were young and wild and insecure. And we were exploited for that. Taking the bait every time.”

“Suckers for the spotlight, huh?” Eddie chuckles, “Something I always wanted but now that I have it…”

“You kinda don’t want to keep it.” You nod. You rest your hand on top of his. He smiles before flipping his hand up and grabbing yours.

“I was going to say I’m sorry again.”

You roll your eyes and scoff, “Eddie, I don’t want to hear that—”

“Let me finish. Will you let me finish?” He squeezes your hand and smiles, “Relax, I’m not apologizing for what happened in the relationship. We can both agree, I was a dick, correct?”

“Correct.”

“I’m saying sorry because I…” His voice dies in his throat. He looks down at you to see the sky reflecting in your eyes as you look at him. He takes a breath and shakes his breath, “Nevermind. You were right. I was going to say something stupid.” He stands up wiggling his hand out of your grasp. “Sorry, I should get back to the party. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, see you.” You say. He waves and then leaves you alone with the night sky.

He didn't show up at your house after the party. You stayed up waiting for him but he didn't show. You wonder what he was going to say to you on the roof. You lay awake thinking about it. You check your clock to see it is now 3 am. He could still be awake, right? You were dying to know what he said.

You throw on your coat and head to his apartment. The streets were empty and so you slip through the night straight to his door without detection. You knock on the door and ring the doorbell.

After a few moments, the door cracks open, “Hey, it’s a little late.” Eddie mumbles. He was definitely sleeping.

“Is it too late?” You bite your lip, “I can go back home if you don’t want to…”

“No, no, come in.” He opens the door wider. You follow him inside, “Sorry for the mess. I wasn’t really preparing for guests.”

“It’s okay, I just wanted to talk.” You follow him to his bedroom.

“Oh yeah? What did you want to talk about?” He lays down on his bed.

“The party earlier… What did you want to say?” You ask.

“Don’t worry about it. It was stupid.” He waves it off.

You lay down next to him, “I don’t care. I want to hear it.”

He searches your eyes. He can see you already knew what he was going to say. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “I love you.” He squeezes his eyes tighter, “I love you so much. And if I have to pretend I don’t know you for a whole year to have just one night we spend together, I will do it.”

You press your hand against his cheek, “Eddie, open your eyes,” You whisper.

Slowly, Eddie opens his eyes, “I was scared to say that. I didn’t want to make you upset again.”

“I’m not upset.” You lean in and capture his lips in a kiss, “I am genuinely happy you told me. This time felt different when you said it.”

You were right. He was terrified of confessing to you. Of ruining the moment you had here. Or the other late-night rendezvouses. He couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t able to touch you.

“I love you too, Eddie.” You smile, “I never really stopped. That hole in my heart was always for you.”

He kisses your cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you,” He kisses your other cheek

“I love you,” He kisses your forehead.

“I love you,” He kisses your nose

“I love you,” He then kisses your lips.

You relax into his touch but your eyebrows knit together in frustration. He pulls away when he feels the tension spread to your lips. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go through what we did before. I’m too tired.” You sigh, “The world is going to criticize me again. I can’t just ignore it not this time.”

“Okay, so…” He thinks for a moment, “What if we ran away?”

“What?” You cock an eyebrow.

“We run away, to the middle of nowhere where no one can bother us. We tell our teams we’re stepping away and we leave. We can come back when we feel like it. If I get to stay with you, I will give up everything I have for you.”

You smile and nod, “Me too.” You look out his large window, “You’d stop touring?”

“Absolutely. You want to give up the album?” He holds his hand out to you.

“It’s more of a personal project anyway.” You take it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Corroded Coffin has canceled the rest of their tour. Frontman Eddie Munson has gone missing.”

“Popstar, Y/N, has gone MIA. Management only left a written note.”

You flip through the magazine shelves in the gas station with a smile on your face. “Egotistical much?” Eddie comes up behind you and looks at the magazines. You scoff and push him away.

“We’re making headlines.” You state as you walk through the aisles.

“I can see that.” He puts the magazine back and opens one of the fridges for a soda.

“So where are we going again?”

“My uncle’s house. I bought it for him when I was first making it big. Nobody knows where it is. It’s in the midwest. You know paparazzi is allergic to that place.”

“Mhm. Okay. And he’s okay with his nephew and his girlfriend showing up and staying with him.”

“He will.” Eddie shrugs, “I haven’t seen him in a while. So it would be nice to see him again.”

“Reconnecting.” You whisper. You whip out a notebook and scribble away. “Another form of love.”

“You coming?” He shouts as he heads out of the gas station.

“Yes!” You follow after him on your way to another chapter in your life.

#eddie munson x black!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n

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dear-mrs-otome · 2 years ago

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Silvio Ricci - Your Fault I'm So Horknee Event - Premium End

Standard Disclaimer: I do this for fun. I don’t, and never would, claim to be proficient at JP. There will be mistakes herein. There will be dialogue I choose to smooth out or change, because it feels choppy just straight translating. There will be the occasional snarky aside and irreverence and just plain summarizing. If you’re looking for 100% pure accuracy, without commentary or localizing, this is not for you. If you don’t mind that…then proceed, and I hope you enjoy! And please, support your local localizer (they make this stuff look easy) and Cybird by playing the games and routes when they come to English.

Note: This story event, like others recently, requires one to finish the Sweet End before the Premium can be chosen. The Premium is an expansion on and slight continuation of the events of the Sweet, but from the suitor POV - as is the epilogue. This post contains the Premium end only. The beginning of the story and the Sweet end can be found here. I will post the Epilogue separately.

~~~~~~~~

After he’d brought her home from Rhodolite to Benitoite, the problem became glaringly obvious.

“...There’s way more,” Silvio says.

“There is more,” Carlo agrees.

They’re looking over the vast quantity of things filling up Silvio’s room, enough to leave him stunned. All gifts, but not a one addressed to him - they’re all for her.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing…but it rubs him wrong. “Toss them all in the storehouse,” he instructs Carlo.

Carlo asks whether he should give the report of it all to Emma. Silvio tells him no need, but that he should hold onto it so it can be given to her at some point down the line.

“And when will that be?” Carlo asks.

Silvio frowns. “I don’t know. But at the very least, not now." He says that getting so many gifts will only trouble her.

The only people who are circling her now are merchants with entrepreneurial designs, the sort who would only see her as a tool to use…and it’s not a pleasant feeling. But above all, none of these gifts are fitting for Emma, given that she values the sorts of things money can’t buy.

Emma isn’t some tool to be used for business. What the hell do you all think you’re doing with my girl?

That’s just how business works - schmoozing is part and parcel of the deal. But when it comes to her, he has a hard time being objective about it. He knows better than anyone how empty relationships based around money are.

“...As good a man as always…” Carlo says softly, and Silvio grabs him by the head, scowling, until a flailing Carlo swears he won’t say it again.

“I’m not a good person. I just don’t like it,” Silvio corrects him.

I should be the only one to give Emma gifts in the first place.

He can’t claim to not want to keep that privilege all to himself.

~~~~~~~~

It’s important that Emma be made known to many people, especially given that she can’t avoid social life if she’s to be the next king’s consort. Receiving gifts also falls under the umbrella of official duties…but people’s assessing stares are just too much for him to bear. That’s the sort of selfishness that has him keeping her from talking to others.

“You’re too overprotective, Silvio,” she says to him aboard the ship at the launch party, saying she’s figured out why he won’t let her speak with people.

He’s a bit taken aback at her proclamation that she’s figured out the truth…and it’s only made worse when she hits the nail on the head. Realizing she’s seen right through him.

Emma’s no fool, he knows…but she doesn’t seem ready to rebuke him for being selfish, much to his relief.

She lays out how he only steps in when people try to dig, and he’s not surprised by how observant she is as the former Belle.

“...It bothers me,” he admits. “All they care about is taking advantage of you.” He says he knows that’s partly just how the business world works, but he hates the idea of everything being about money when it comes to her. “Relationships built solely on money are hollow.”

You’re the one who made me realize that.

After she hears him out, she takes a deep breath, and declares she’s got to get better. Has to build relationships that move beyond marks on the ledger. Surprised by her proclamation and the way she seems so confident about it.

There are few women who would choose to change themselves rather than complain about their situations, in his experience, and he’s overwhelmed by how stinking adorable she is right now. Somehow barely managing to hold himself back.

Instead he comments on how she’s cheeky like that…but to himself he thinks that maybe he was too overprotective, and stifling her. She’s not incapable.

“You’d better come through on this, or I really won’t let you talk to anyone,” he threatens on a smile, and she assures him she’s got this.

I’ve ignored your will…he admits to himself, vowing to fix that.

She assures him she’s not as weak as he might think, and he concedes that - and also his difficulties in figuring out the right path to take when it comes to her. Whether to be strict or to coddle her. And when he says as much, she seems to be smiling with great amusement before enthusiastically telling him she doesn’t mind him being a bit harsh, she can take it and not let him down.

“Is that so…” Inside, he’s pleading with her to have mercy on him and stop saying such precious things in public.

“Then I’ll stop coddling you. I’m going to be strict with you.”

He reaches out to her without thinking - desperately wanting to hug her, after so long without. Then realizing that he doesn’t think just a hug will be enough. But she takes a step back for some reason, and he doesn’t mean to protest so loudly but he does. “I said I’d stop babying you, the ban should be lifted.”

She admits she didn’t mean to move away, and he demands she not do so then - silently begging her to hurry up and give in, because he doesn’t think he can take any more of this.

Or is she doing it on purpose?

When he moves in again, she backs up again, and he doesn’t understand why. She protests that they’re somewhere public, AKA on board, and everyone could be watching, but he doesn’t see the problem given that she’s his woman.

“It’s…embarrassing, isn’t it?” she asks.

Something seems to snap inside of him at that. Hunting her down, he tries to trap her against the wall, blaming her for all this and telling her to take responsibility - the two of them devolving in to bickering and chasing each other heedless of the party.

If I don’t have to go easy on her, then I don’t have to hold back on wanting her, right? he reasons.

~~~~~~~~

In the end, Emma proves the tougher opponent. Winning the on-board chase, and refusing to lift the no-touch ban even when they’re in the carriage on the way home.

“No more objections?” he asks, once they’ve returned to his room, but her response is tepid at best. And he doesn’t comprehend why she keeps her distance, almost as if wary of him. “Why are you acting like that? I thought you lifted the ‘no-touch’ ban.”

“I did. I did, but…I’m just weirdly nervous, because I haven’t been touched by you in awhile,” she explains.

“Huh?” he scowls.

She tries to tell him she’s gotta mentally prep herself, after so long, and he’s simultaneously scoffing aloud at that while internally wailing over how cute she is.

Anything resembling reason is utterly gone by now - leaving behind only beastly, irresistible desire.

“You told me I could touch you as much as I wanted to when we got back to my room, didn’t you?” he reminds her, and she haltingly affirms. “If you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be touched, I’ll remind you.”

If she’s not giving him the red light, he’s not about to take it easy, or to stop. He backs her into the corner of the room and sweeps her up into his arms before dropping a flustered Emma down atop the table, savoring the long-absent feeling of her warmth.

“Silvio…mnn.”

He kisses her, hard, to stop her words when she tries to object…and her hesitation about being touched doesn’t seem to extend to being kisses, because she seems to remember how to do so just fine. Her tongue meeting his halfway eagerly.

He knows she’s been wanting this for awhile now, badly. A longing look in her eyes whenever she touched him, whether she was aware of it or not…but he’s been painfully so.

Aloud, he accuses her of having really put him through the wringer as he carefully peels off the dress that had been made just for today and kneels on the floor. Emma coming out of her kiss-fueled daze and back to her senses.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“You’ll see,”he promises.

She flails at that and he takes her legs and spreads them firmly apart, over her embarrassed protests.

“Ten days,” he says, and she doesn’t follow. “”It’s been ten days since I last touched you. I’ll have you regretting you ever made me endure it that long.”

He’s been teased so much, nothing remains but painful desire. Pressing his lips to the tip of her toe, he kisses a slow path upwards - Emma making half-protests the entire time, but it’s obvious her heart isn’t in them.

To himself, he blames her for all of this, for being so cute. All on her entirely.

Working his way up past her knees, trailing kisses up her thighs - higher, to the place he knows will get him the best reaction of all…

(Silvio’s desire level: 150)

~~~~~~~~

<< Sweet End || Epilogue >> (TBC)

#spoiler #spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #mrs o loves salty seadogs #mrs o's translations of dubious quality #ikepri jp summary

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davestriderpostscratch · 2 years ago

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Please talk more about your ideal epilogue. My ideal epilogue would have everyone sorta ficking around in an interdimentional style tone where they just kind of veiw alt universes and timelines like some entertaining reality show and also sollux is transfem. She's dating jade, aradia, and feferi who are dating terezi and nepeta in a sort of greater portland area transbian polycule situation.

MY ideal epilogue is this

jade leaves earth c to explore the dream bubbles, not content to be stuck in one place for eternity, and becomes sollux and aradia's third. she's always seeing new things and is never lonely

karkat becomes a public speaker and eventually a campaign manager when dave eventually runs for office; karkat himself refuses to have any sort of governmental position higher than city council but establishes himself as "the guy who knows a guy," so to speak. he's probably responsible for half the employments in the city he lives in just out of various referrals and recommendations he's made. he and aradia are intergalactic pen pals

jake and jane are partners in business but not in romance. jane agrees to merge their respective empires into the crockercorp-skaianet conglomeration, which is publically traded and centered on community service--trolls and carapaces are kind of weird about representative government, so the CS corp kind of takes the place of the legislature in terms of like. what people's tax dolars are going towards and stuff. jake is coming out of his shell a bit and makes a good check/balance for when jane gets too zealous, and jane's been good with making sure jake doesn't procrastinate or avoid his actual job. they do good work, surprisingly

rose and calliope take it upon themselves to compile a library of all surviving texts (mythological, scientific, governmental, etc) from the 5,000 year time skip period, which is an incredibly large and therefore perpetually ongoing project. jake helps them on the archaeological front but calliope especially has found her calling in archivism and anthropology and is having the time of her life

roxy and davepeta spend their time experiencing everything earthly life has to offer, soaking in everything roxy, dave and nepeta missed growing up--restaurants, dance classes, college, organized sports. roxy is very active in her community with stuff like municipal art projects and environmental efforts and enjoys the feeling of belonging somewhere. davepeta is less tied down to one place but takes up little temporary jobs wherever they find themself, finding a lot of fulfillment in helping people in small ways, even if they're strangers

john still struggles with depression, especially in the face of jade's absence and jane and jake's success, but eventually takes up a job after jane begs him. it's more for enrichment than anything else, it's not like he needs money, but he respects that jane wants to help and goes along with her promise to "set him up somewhere", which turns out to be as a consulting partner at a law firm with terezi. they get into less petty spats now that they're not thirteen anymore, and the partnership is superficially contentious but solid and functional. he doesn't hate it but he feels a bit stuck in a rut in his current life and is sort of... waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak

kanaya is in charge of the brooding caverns. she worries about her and rose's ability to adequately take care of their own children so she kind of compensates by becoming a daycare operator or maybe a teacher, mentoring older jadebloods to take her place some day. as the equivalent of a vampire she's very much immortal and she takes a melancholy sort of pride in watching her students grow up every generation

left to his own devices once more without any immediately obvious Goal In Life dirk's guilt over various things (both deserving and not deserving of said guilt) begins to eat him alive. egged on by jasprose, he tries in vain to return to the past; he becomes obsessed with trying to rebuild the auto-responder, coding chat bot after chat bot, intelligence after intelligence, just for one more conversation, one more apology. he never succeeds and eventually the fixation drives him to reclusive insanity

vriska (sort of a paradox space pirate, looting dream bubbles and chasing lord english) goes ultimate and dave (stockbroker turned senator, avoiding the entertainment industry out of a desire to avoid becoming his alpha self, too scared that he won't live up to the dave that exists in dirk's mind) has his villain arc. they start scheming together and their plans (which are partially really clean and elaborate and partially slapdash and stupid) eventually culminate in the complete social and economical ruin of earth c. following this they fuck off in vriska's spaceship (which is like a sort of treasure planet-esque flying galleon) to some random corner of the galaxy to have weird creepy sex until the heat death of the universe

terezi and karkat enter a failmarriage in order to stave off the creeping sense of abandonment and not being good enough for their respective partners but being together actually just makes it worse. they have sex with the lights off

john, who was expecting not this, exactly, but SOMETHING to come and break the peace, feels responsibility for dave, his errant best friend, for vriska, his one-sided lost love, and even a little bit for terezi, the work partner he's come to appreciate more than most people, and the utter upheaval of the world becomes the catalyst he needs to snap him out of his funk, at least for the time being

jake and jane scramble to use their influence to stabilize the infrastructure of the planet; karkat warns aradia, sollux and jade to keep an eye out across paradox space; roxy tracks down dirk, attempting to restore him to optimal functionality; kanaya, rose and calliope try to keep everyone in their vicinity alive and well; davepeta puts john in touch with meenah, and he and terezi take off for the dream bubbles on the tail of vriska and dave

and the rest. dear reader. well that is up to you

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gb-patch · 4 years ago

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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey! Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year. I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway. Was just curious about Step 4. Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english)

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event?

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!!

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC?

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3?

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused?

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits?

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it.

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change?

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it?

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline events planned?

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game!

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place?

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence?

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #ask #gb patch #gb patch games #xoxo droplets

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atopearth · 3 years ago

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Brothers Conflict (Passion Pink) Part 2 - Asahina Kaname Route

Okay, I'm not the most interested in Kaname since he feels like such a pervert lmao, but we'll see I guess loll. LOL I hate it when Kaname makes everything become so sexual, but I really like his voice so I'm confused😭 It's so cute how Ema is becoming more snarky with her responses to Kaname because he's so over the top with what he says lol. I love how Ukyo is the one who scolds Tsubaki and Kaname for troubling Ema with their incessant flirting, like geez to them lol! I love how Ukyo told Kaname to like get away from her forever😂😂 Anyway, I think I'm already kinda warming up to Kaname, just because on the dates, he's not so "crazy" about her and acts normal lol, but still really loving and sweet. I liked how he held her hand when she got a bit cold after the dolphin show, he probably knew she would be uncomfortable if he hugged her, so he did that at least and I think that was quite considerate of him considering how he usually acts haha. Lmao when the right option was to say that she wants to be like Kaname (kind and attentive), it was kinda cute how he laughed and thought she was cute for saying that hahaha.

Aww I love the zoo one where Ema doesn't go check out Tsubaki and Azusa filming because it's a day out with Kaname and she wants to properly spend time with him because of that. Lmao when Ema got turned off on going on the rollercoaster after Kaname said it would be wonderful to hold her hand and kiss her when it gets to the highest part on the ride lolll. Well, he didn't explicitly say her but he might as well have😂 Aww, even though I thought Ema was really reckless to overdo it looking for Wataru in the rain, but I think alike Kaname, it was really nice to see that she cares so much for the brothers that she was so obstinate about finding him before caring about herself. I would have loved to see Kaname hug her~~ I agree with Kaname though, there's something about listening to the waves at night, seeing the sky and the ocean kinda merge together, and you start to think about how vast everything is and how small other things are. It really helps to calm you down, but I guess at the same time it can be unsettling though haha. Kaname is such a sweet talker to say that he would save her before she would even get scared or cry hahaha. I definitely love the more serious Kaname, there's something really mature and alluring about him when he's not joking around haha. LOL when he went over to the water and tripped over seaweed😂😂 It was so cute how he pulled her into the water too for laughing at him. OMG I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!! I knew he was going to be corny and say that love is mightier than the pen and the sword but I honestly didn't think he would kiss her so suddenly!!! The CG is so beautiful btw. Something I wish Masaomi's route had was something like a kiss CG though, that would have been so nice, they were just so polite with each other all the time, it was kinda sad we never got to see anything more romantic, it was still cute though of course but yeah~ I'm really enjoying Kaname's route now.

Okay, I died when Ema fed Kaname her Bento when they went to the park, like omggg that's so cute. Honestly though for Ema, regardless of whether she likes Kaname or not, I think it's a bit hard to act normal with him after he kissed her like that on the family holiday lol. Omggg, Kaname was pretty pushy, but honestly him asking if he could kiss her again and stuff was pretty hot lolll! Especially when he licked or kissed her ear or something loll omg. He's moving wayy too fast for Ema's innocent mind haha. But at least even though he's pushy, he's never really forced her to do anything, and the drive to the night view was something she was okay with going to with Kaname. But she did trust him to not overdo it and he did push her past her boundaries a bit so yeah...it was hot but also I felt bad for Ema. Okay, Kaname apologised to her, that's good. I guess her avoiding him and Iori telling Kaname how down she seemed helped him realise he might have gone a bit too far lol. Omgg when drunk Subaru pushed Ema down though, like it was hot, but I felt so bad for her because she was scared, I think Azusa comforting her after he saw them though was what made my heart melt. He's so sweet, I love Azusa😭 Anyway, ever since I checked Kaname's VA and realised that it's Suwabe Junichi (VA for Archer from Fate/stay night), I was like, no wonder why I love his voice!! Hahaha, and yes, now I like Kaname even more loll. I'm so glad Ukyo was there to hit Kaname at the cultural festival, lmao at the things he says sometimes, like seriously, super inappropriate lol. But lmao at Kaname announcing to her classmate that he's Ema's boyfriend loll.

Honey in cafe au lait?? Is that a thing??🤔 Anyway, I usually hate it when the guy is jealous and possessive, but honestly when Kaname got jealous and mad, I couldn't help but feel a bit happy because it was kinda..cute? Hahaha. On the other hand, Azusa being a bit "mad" that Kaname took Ema away was cute too, I love him loll. It's kinda interesting how Ema always thinks Kaname is playing around with her and isn't serious at all, but then she does stuff like stay over in his room hahaha, anyway, it's cute how he always says good morning to her~ When Ema asked if they could sleep together (since she couldn't sleep), I knew Kaname would find it difficult to hold himself back, but dangg, the kisses🥰🥰🥲 Awww Kaname let her use his arm as a pillow, that's actually really cute. Anyway lmao I find it hilarious that Juli the squirrel is calling her pitiful for spending Christmas Eve playing games hahahah. It's kinda cute how hardcore Ema is when it comes to games though lol. Lmaoo at Yusuke and Tsubaki's new year's wishes, they're so silly😂 It was kinda interesting to see both Ema and Kaname bury the kitten, mainly because it was nice to hear that the idea of the dead's souls/hearts returning to the side of those who think about them is a nice way to view death? Honestly though, I really want to like Kaname but his "romantic scenes" have been irking me quite a bit, especially the last one sleepover CG(?), like I really like how hot he sounds and I alwaysss get enraptured by his voice but seriously, he needs to stop lol. Like, if Ema was more receptive to his advances, I think I wouldn't be as uncomfortable but she's always telling him no and to stop it, but he just continues and says afterwards that he held himself back already. Like excuse me dude, if you held yourself back, you wouldn't be practically forcing yourself on Ema and touching her without her permission especially when she says no. Like seriously, he's the adult here! Anyway, yeah I feel like the only time I liked him was around the kiss scene lol. On the other hand, I find it interesting that Ema still thinks Kaname is just playing around with her when he's kissed her and stuff. To be fair though, he's always teasing her and he's never seriously told her his feelings in a way that she would understand as not playing with her so I'd say it's more his fault, especially since she's younger and more naive, and she considers him her brother so...

Very Kaname-like to give Ema perfume for White Day and then tell her to only use it when she goes out with him haha. HAHAHA, I just realised I missed out on a funny zoo date where Kaname asks Ema what animal she thinks he would prefer compared to Juli, and she said it probably doesn't really matter to him because he likes human girls the most😂😂 I mean, it's nice that Ema finally realised her feelings when she saw Kaname with another girl and Tsubaki and Yusuke said he always does that and is never serious about any girl, but it was pretty random and sudden tbh lol. I feel like it could have been done better especially since most of Kaname and Ema's recent scenes have just been him "attacking" her lol. I'm glad that Tsubaki who is usually as playful as Kaname is, is now shouting at Kaname telling him to stop playing around with her if he isn't serious, because really, if she doesn't understand and think so, there's no point if he thinks he is serious. Oh wow, did Kaname just break his phone to prove that he's serious about her and won't talk to other people? Lol! Whaaat! Kaname quit being a monk and went to his mother's company?? Honestly though, I'm rather suspicious of this monk thing, like was he actually a host all along? Lol, I mean, we never actually got to see him do anything related to his work this whole entire route lol. Anyway, the kyodai/brother ending is really weird considering the flow of events and how Kaname kissed her and stuff for alllll those months, like that doesn't make sense!! Lol anyway doesn't matter. Btw, Kaname in the epilogue(?) is sooo hot in a suit, and omggg at Ukyo discovering their relationship in the worst way especially with how Kaname says stuff lol. Otherwise, the CG was niceeee 🥰

Overall, I loveee Suwabe Junichi's voice and I really think he made Kaname a better character than he actually was lmao. Honestly, I really enjoyed the beginning of this route and I really thought I'd love their relationship because of how forward Kaname is, but I think from the middle onwards, I lost a lot of interest because of how clunky the flow of events were, and the events themselves were rather disappointing I guess. Most of the events that happened after the kiss was mostly just Kaname "teasing" Ema and a lot of them were more uncomfortable than sexy even though his voice really made me love and hate it lolll. My heart was confused haha. Kaname does a lot of things that are a bit over for me especially since Ema isn't very receptive towards it and tells him to stop but he really doesn't and touches her quiteeee a bit, so yeah I didn't like it all that much, but at the same time I could never really understand Ema either? Lol. Like, she seemed so confused throughout the route about Kaname and I feel like she only liked him because I "chose" him through the dialogue options than because she really liked him lol. I think a lot of it was just awkward, especially her revelation that she likes him, like lady, you saw him with Hikaru before too lol, but anyway their "confession" of love to each other was also pretty underwhelming considering how frustrating their relationship was throughout the route lol. Otherwise, I loved Kaname's voice and if you ignore how much he touches Ema and says so many inappropriate crap, he's actually pretty sweet and loving. I definitely prefer Masaomi overall though haha.

#brothers conflict

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 4 years ago

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Hi Dear Jalebi, I demand your analysis :) What are your thoughts on IPKKND might have some typical track if the audience, TRP, actors departure didn't influence it otherwise? Let me explain, IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced. Then, I read that, Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup???

Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track? Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

Hello Dear Analysis Anon!

I am going to over answer this with a lot of detail because I have a lot of thoughts, as always! Time to get into my thinking cape/coat:

This analysis is going to cover:

(1) every example you just mentioned,

(2) my thoughts on external things affecting plot of the story,

(3) things/plots/ tracks that could've been if not for external factors

Examples

1) IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced

As far as I can remember from one of the writers' interviews, the office track was cut short because this was a show on Star Plus - which, as a channel, caters to 'family audience' therefore needs to have sanskaar and stuff at its core. Hence the rude shortening of the office track and weird 'makeover' and 'desi-dying' Lavanya. And hence we had a very weird four months of an eighteen-twenty years old Khushi teaching someone about sanskaars and suddenly knowing everything about a household when Bua-ji or even Payal would've been a more apt choice for this 'tutoring'.

If this was a Star One show, they might've not shifted out of the office for the longest time!

2) Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup??? Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track?

I did not know that's why the quick end happened. Honestly that happened perfectly. I think Lavanya had an inkling about their relationship heading south right when Arnav told everyone he's getting engaged to her. But she chooses to not see it until one day she couldn't. Maybe we could've gotten more from La but if you see carefully, La clearly knows that this relationship is now just for face. Bless her heart for trying though, trying with a smile!

Also, again I think the writers never thought of making Lavanya a vamp. They had enough material with Arnav-Khushi's own differences, Shyam and Buaji playing enough roles to mess up Arnav-Khushi's love story. I probably think they always had planned Lavanya as a beautiful person who was unintentionally caught in all of this. I feel they planned La and Khushi's friendship - they clearly enjoyed writing two completely different people becoming closest of friends.

The writers/creators deserve full credit for this.

3) Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

This is all true.

My Thoughts on External Things Affecting Plot

It's not necessarily bad that external things affect plot. Feedback, from channel or fans, can help the show to pivot and understand what is working and what's not. The problem is when feedback is implemented regardless whether or not it matches the theme of the plot.

I loved:

1) The channel moving out of the office because the power dynamic was too great and the contract terms were very unhealthy and Arnav Singh Raizada deserved to get sued at least 10 times by the end of this contract so yes, the shorter the office track the better. Literally the saving grace is they didn't "fall in love" there.

2) The fans protesting against Didi Ki Saut track. Not because I hated the track - I think it was executed in the worst manner! From identical visual languages to show Arnav-Anjali and Arnav-Khushi scenes (which didn't work to show Arnav being equally torn between the two most important women in his life, but just made the audience get creeped by Arnav-Anjali's relationship) and writing scenes of Anjali getting offended by Arnav-Khushi's intimacy/Arnav spending time with his wife, on her birthday, in his bedroom... did she expect Khushi would just *disappear* in a her and Arnav's bedroom? Like that was the worst way to show a compelling plot line and giving people some weird thoughts about Anjali-Arnav (which I hate because I LOVE Anjali-Arnav).

3) Barun walking out when the plot was literally done. Yes, thank you!

4) Barun going to do a movie led to the kidnapping track, which I liked a lot. No, not the nonsense of Manorama Bond fishing out Delhi's security camera footages in vintage recording system - but the fact that given the chasm and angst between Arnav & Khushi, only something bigger than their misunderstanding could force Arnav to give weight to his feelings and for Khushi to be able to forgive him. And his life was at stake. It was a sharp reminder to both of them that they lost so much by not communicating that it doesn't matter what they had to say - they loved each other, they just needed to get back and fight off everything together.

And then again, there are things I HATED that happened because of external factors:

1) The channel for the whole La becomes Desi. And the overdose of sanskaar and tradition that followed for a few months *uggggh* Clearly the channel demanded this from the plot because family, traditions and all are important to Star Plus (wtf are they thinking for Ghum Hai Kisi Ke? though or YRKKH?) And even the Aarav track and Mrs. India - two tracks with terrible execution - were very Star Plus recommended content. Just now Saath Nibhana Saathiya 2 had a Mrs. Surat/Gujarat track and Yeh Hai Chaahatein had a miracle child popping up...

2) The fans demanding Arnav & Khushi's proximity. The whole hut scene was *noooooo*. Lack of consent, body doubles, GLARING logical loopholes and them just trying to do it when one of them is really not in the mood and they were both so out of character. @phati-sari explains this really well in her post (just search for the hut to get all relevant posts on her blog)

3) Barun? Not exactly - he's never in control of the plot so really it's the writers that kinda know what to do with his presence and absence. Even if they get a short time, it's upto the creators who know if they use the last 2-3 weeks for stretching a random track as much as they can and give a rushed ending or quickly wrap up a crap track and give a satisfactory ending. A good example of this is Lavanya's exit - although rushed was dealt with grace, important conversations and memorable hugs. Bad one is the end of the show - I know Barun gave his papers but I wish they went the La way with the end of the show - important convos, teary hugs and a sweet moment (they tried their best tho...)

It's an ITV trend though to not plan for the end of a show... they stretch a crappy track as much as they can and have like a 2 min epilogue. Kasautii 2.0 was the funniest cause they had all misconceptions cleared, Komolika and Mr. Bajaj die and then have a weird 2 min pillow fight to show 'happy family'... guess in that way I'm glad we had whatever we did with IPKKND!

Possible Tracks Then

So if external factors didn't influence the show, we might have had the following:

1) A longer office track. It would end the way it did in canon though. I think it was prewritten that at one point Khushi would tear up the contract and hold him accountable for everything Arnav did. Just instead of 3-4 days it would've been 10-15 days after the contract.

2) Didi Ki Saut track. Honestly that was compelling if executed right. Sometimes you can have an antagonist without becoming a villain, Anjali the perfect character for that.

3) A separation track. I'm pretty sure Arnav-Khushi could have separated at some point in their six months marriage - this is just my inkling and not something I heard in an interview unlike the above two. If given full reign to writing, we probably would've gotten an angst heavy stuff at some point post marriage/6 months.

4) A remarriage track sans Dadi. We know why Dadi was introduced (honestly I didn't mind her, it was a track done well and kinda to redeem Arnav in front of the public eyes. It's a perfect track cause Arnav is 'nice' for standing up for her and kinda heals the wounds he caused in the first few months of the marriage by retorting someone who tells Khushi everything he told her...) But anyway I do think a remarriage was in the works, not because of TRPs but the way their whole 'marriage' was framed and how Khushi was broken because of the lack of everything in it. And they deserved one w/o the devastation that night brought.

5) The 'marriage' would've been a live in. Arnav and Khushi's elopement was supposed to be darker in nature*. Their 'marriage' would've had no religious nor legal validity, therefore a stark contradiction to everything Khushi stood for... but you can't have that in ITV. *By dark I don't mean sexual violence - never.*

6) The whole IPKKND was meant to be darker. I am glad for the romantic comedy though! I think their balance of angst and comedy pre marriage was perfect! Not sure post marriage because it felt like a loop of going back to square one with no progress. But I think things were meant to be less subtle, more tragic and dramatized. So I think we could've gotten extremely angsty periods post marriage with a slow, gentle lull to the romance/comedy. While I am extremely glad for the lightheartedness, I wish I could've read what the whole original concept for Arnav/Khushi was!

7) Arnav revealing the truth to Khushi would've been different. We know the distasteful suicide track quickly came as a way to push Arnav's buttons and have him confess the truth of his elopement to Khushi. And that came from Barun going away - hence the quick kidnapping track and everything. So if Barun didn't go away, I honestly don't know how the revelation would happen. Would Arnav start piecing things together from information and things about Shyam in Laxminagar? Would Arnav end up helping and hospitalizing Shashi who would tell him the truth? Would Arnav come across any hidden wedding card Buaji could've had printed for Shyam-Khushi or even Shyam's fake kundili? Given the Gupta house wasn't the place where Shyam covered his tracks... was this where Arnav would start seeing things? Or guilt ridden, would Garima/Khushi/Madhumati tell Arnav the truth? Something was meant to happen for this revelation, whether it's Arnav believing Khushi or just getting further evidence against her - I... don't know! I wish I knew what the writers had in store.

We highly appreciate for not showing a typical Nanand against Bhaabi trope, also for not making La villain, but would it result differently if things didn't have a hand? Imma cry thinking Anjali jealous and La villain! meh! What a feast for the eyes it was to see ONLY ONE VILLAIN and less negativity in a tellywood show. Baas bohut hua my casual verbiage. By demand I mean no pressure, please take your valuable time and reply whenever you feel like it.Take Loads of Care and Chocolates your way <3

I hope the above answered all your queries :) Thank you for all the chocolates and care!!!

Phew this was rather long! A big hug to anyone who went through it! See ya later!

- Jalebi

#ask #analysis anon #THIS IS LONG #so many thoughts #how arnav khushi's confrontation would've been #the only answer I crave #analysis #ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon

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thewhitejournal · 4 years ago

Text

“The Intern” Part Six

Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader Series

(not my gif)

hey guys! i know i haven’t been active in awhile and i apologize, but i hope this final chapter (unless y’all want like an epilogue or something of that nature) of ‘the intern’ makes up for it. i’m so sad to see this series go because it was one of my favorites to write but we got more series, one shots, and all that good stuff on the way!

please enjoy my loves :) <3

content warnings: cursing, super fluffy and sappy towards the end

thewhitejournal’s masterlist

“the intern” masterlist

The past four weeks have flown by quickly. You were out of the cast and back on your feet in the bullpen. You were helping out everywhere; between running errands for Garcia and helping out with the rest of the team, you were dead tired by the end of the day. But it didn’t matter to you. You were finally getting a taste of what you loved, even with school and classes still a part of your daily routine. You were eternally grateful for the geniuses you had on hand when you were doing homework in between tasks. Everything be damned if you didn’t take advantage of it.

A groan slipped from your lips, filling every nook and cranny in Garcia’s office. It broke the comfortable silence between the two of you, other than the sound of her fingernails clicking away on the keys at record speed.

“What’s a matter, babe?”, she asked, gaze never wavering from the work in front of her. Your head now rested on your arms on the table in front of you. You let out an exasperated sigh.

“I hate math.”, you stated simply, earning a chuckle from her. She rolled her chair over next to yours, placing a gentle hand on your back.

“Let me see it.” You sat up so she could look over your work. The page was littered with dozens of scratch work equations that were slightly visible from having been erased. Most of the questions had half-completed answers or none at all. She shook her head.

“You should ask Reid. Why do they change the way people do math every year?” You sighed again as she rolled back to her desk. You gathered your book and assignments up in your arms and carried them out into the bullpen, eyes falling on Dr. Reid scribbling away on a file.

“I’m glad I caught you here, I need the help of a genius.”, you explained, pulling an empty chair up to his desk after having sat your things down on it. He looked taken aback by your sudden approach. He didn’t say anything at first, not meeting your eyes. “If you’re too busy right now, then don’t worry-“, you started, but were cut off by his stammering.

“N-no, I’m not too busy for you, (Y/N).” If you didn’t know any better, you’d say a slight blush crept upon his cheeks. “What’s the w-work?”, he asked you, clearing his throat and meeting your eyes for only split seconds at a time. You smiled and shook your head at the awkward doctor, letting him take a look at the papers. He quickly realized what you were working on, then tried helping you, going on ramblings about the equations and variables you didn’t understand. Eventually, you could form answers to your questions on the pages.

“You’re a lifesaver, Spencer. Thanks.”, you said, flashing him a bright smile. He offered you a small smile and minimal eye contact. You just turned and left, satisfied with the completed worksheet. You returned to Garcia’s office to see Hotch there, standing over her. They were talking about something; pictures of criminals and crime scenes flashed the screens on the walls as she clicked around and typed. You froze in the doorway.

Aaron Hotchner was a wonderful boss and an amazing man; he thought of you as an outstanding addition to the team, so you had no reason to be so intimidated by him. But you couldn’t help it. Maybe it had something to do with the way you’d seen him interrogate suspects so intensely, or maybe with the fact that you had a bit of a crush on him. You’d never admit to the latter though. It was unprofessional and wrong, but it felt so right all at the same time.

Almost as if he could sense your presence, he called you in the room without ever turning to face you. You moved towards him, setting your things down on your desk. You stood next to him in the already small, getting smaller space. His body heat radiated onto your skin, cologne filling your senses. You swallowed hard, hoping he didn’t hear it.

“(Y/L/N), see if you can help Garcia find a connection between some of these victims. If you find anything, just drop by my office and let me know.”, he stated, turning to face you. There were only inches between your bodies; you couldn’t meet his eyes. You could feel his gaze looking down on you, so you looked up, ready to maintain composure.

His brown eyes looked black in the minimal light of the room. “Yes, sir.” You could hear your voice waver slightly and you kicked yourself internally for it. You couldn’t help but think that if Garcia weren’t here, this would be a very different story. He looked in your eyes a little longer than might’ve been necessary, then gave you a smirk before leaving. He shut the door behind him.

You exhaled immediately, nearly doubling over. You hadn’t realized you’d barely been breathing.

“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), I’m surprised he didn’t fuck you right against that wall!”, she hissed under her breath, in case he was still in earshot. You gasped.

“Garcia!”, you exclaimed, lightly slapping her shoulder.

“You could cut the sexual tension between the two of you with a knife!”, she retorted. The two of you made eye contact.

“Really? It’s not just me?”, you asked with full sincerity.

“Hell no! You need to get on that, (Y/N).”, she said with a knowing smile, sending you a wink. Your cheeks flushed hot red and you rolled your eyes.

“Garcia, I can’t do that. You know it’s wrong.” As much as you wanted to pursue anything with Hotch, you were telling her the truth. It was wrong. You walked over and sat in your seat, sighing and starting to work on your homework again.

“Honey, love is never wrong.”, she said in that soothing and comforting voice. You knew that, on some level, she was right. You dropped your pencil, unable to focus on your work. You swiveled to face her.

“Yeah, cause that argument would go over well with Strauss. Or whoever is above her.” She sighed. She knew you were right, too.

“Just don’t count him out yet. You two…deserve happiness. I think you could give each other that.” You knew she was serious. She placed a hand on your knee, squeezing it.

“Thanks, PG.” You gave her a half-smile. She shrugged.

“What’re friends for?” She flashed you a huge smile, and the two of you returned to your respective workloads.

Nearly four hours later, you’d long ago finished your homework, and now you were helping Garcia with the workload provided to the two of you by Hotch. The two of you agreed with each other that you’d need some eye bleach after this; the images flashing on the screen were those that most people could never stomach seeing.

You rubbed your eyes, blinking afterwards. Your eyes physically hurt from staring at the screens for hours. Suddenly, a pattern caught your attention. “Garcia, do you see that?” Your finger prodded the screen. She pulled her glasses so that they’d rest on top of her head, and leaned closer to the screen. She pulled a window from the top left corner so it would sit next to the one you two were looking at. Then, she pulled another picture from the fray of images and documents.

“A signature…”, the two of you muttered in unison. You locked eyes and shared a laugh.

“We finally found a pattern!”, you exclaimed, the life returning to your body as the joy flowed through you. Maybe it was because you were new, but making a connection like this and getting one step further to a solution felt so good. Garcia chuckled. You knitted your brows, looking over at her. “What?”

She gave you a sly smile. “You know you have to report to the boss, right?” Your heart sank in your chest. She was right. Your eyes flickered to the clock on the wall.

“It’s kinda late, do you think he’s even still-?”

“(Y/N), you know damn well he’s still in his office. If he could, he’d live here. Now go!” She ushered you out the door, almost by full force, but not before trying to undo a button on your top. You swatted her hand away and left the room, the sound of her laughter fading with every step you took forward.

Entering the bullpen, there were few agents left for the night. Dr. Reid still lingered, hunched over and lost in his paperwork. He looked up when you walked in, eyes following you as you walked and ascended the stairs to Hotch’s office. Not that you knew his gaze tracked you; you were too nervous about being alone with Aaron in his office to notice anything other than the floor beneath your feet.

Your knuckles rapped softly on the door and you heard him call you in from the other side. You exhaled, trying to get yourself together. It was ridiculous, the effect he had on you. You wondered if he knew.

You turned the knob, pushing the door open and shutting it behind you. The desk lamp illuminated a stack of papers, his pen scrawling what was likely his signature on the bottom of a sheet of paper. He looked up momentarily, then his gaze fell back on his desk. “(Y/L/N). Did you and Garcia find anything?” The sound of your heels echoed in the room as you carried yourself to his desk. You took a seat in the cushioned leather chair that sat spaced evenly from his desk and another chair that looked exactly like it.

You cleared your throat before saying, “We did find a pattern, a signature on all the victims.” He perked up, raising an eyebrow at you. You presented your findings to him, careful to keep your voice steady and not make eye contact with him for too long. It then occurred to you there was really no reason to try to hide your feelings around him; he was, after all, one of the best profilers the BAU had ever seen. You were sure he already knew. Worth a shot to try and keep it hidden, though, you figured.

After your rant was over, he nodded approvingly, a small smile on his lips. “Great job, (Y/N).” Your heart pumped quicker in your chest at the sound of your first name on his voice. But his voice was different than usual, so was his tone. He was tired, resulting in his voice being barely an octave deeper. Which didn’t help your nerves settle.

“Thank you, sir.”, you said with a twinge of confidence in your tone. It made you happy to impress him; his validation made it feel like you were getting better at your job every day. He suddenly chuckled, and you weren’t sure why, until he spoke up.

“I told you, (Y/L/N), you can call me Hotch. Or Aaron, if you’d like.” He leaned forward in his chair more, dark amber eyes burning a hole through you. Did he ever offer anyone else to call him Aaron? You weren’t sure you’d ever heard anyone else call him that – not to his face, anyway. Other than Rossi, maybe. But they were close friends.

“Thanks, Hotch.”, you spoke softly, stifling a small yawn. You’d play it safe for now, but the gesture itself meant everything to you. He smiled, almost satisfyingly so, leaning back in his office chair. He raised his right wrist to look at his watch, noting the time, before meeting your eyes again.

“It’s late, (Y/L/N). You should head home. You’ve been a lot of help today, as usual, of course.” You would never get used to hearing him compliment you. Your eyes flickered between the stack of paperwork and him. You’ve spent enough time at the BAU to know that those files needed to be reviewed, signed, and done by the end of the weekend, which crept closer with every passing second. As amazing at his job as he was, there was no way humanly possible he’d finish it in time and get a wink of sleep at the same time.

“That’s a lot of paperwork.”, you noted aloud. He nodded, likely knowing where you were going with the words that would follow.

“It is.” His eyes narrowed at you, a small smirk playing on his face as he awaited your question.

“You can’t finish all of that and still have time to sleep.” He was silent. He knew you were right. “What can I do to help?”

Hotch just chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ll burn yourself out, you know.” Nevertheless, he passed you a black ink pen, your fingertips brushing each other’s hands in the process.

“I could say the same thing about you.” He chuckles deeply and shrugs. You smile to yourself, successful in making him smile, which is a rare accomplishment for most.

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as hours pass and the pile dwindles to only three or four files. The two of you migrated to the leather couch in his office, a more comfortable place to work on a tedious assignment for hours. You’d lost count of the yawns you’d let slip from your lips. Even Hotch seemed to have trouble staying awake. You glanced at the time. You’d been in his office for almost four hours. Your mind wandered to what Garcia will have to say about ‘what really happened last night’. The time slowly crept into the early morning hours of the next day.

“(Y/N)”, Hotch begins, breaking the silence. You look up at him, waiting on him to continue. “I’ll drive you home if you’re too tired to drive. And a ride back to the office in the morning for your car. But you can’t oversleep.”, he jokes. You hit his arm lightly.

“I don’t oversleep!”, you exclaim, trailing off. “That often.” You stifle a yawn before answering, “Let’s just finish these last few and I’ll drive myself home. I wouldn’t want to be in your way.”

His mind was filled with one thought: “How could you ever burden me, (Y/N)?”. But he didn’t answer you. He just handed you a file and took one for himself, the two of you finishing the workload quickly. On your last one, it took all your strength to focus on the words on the paper and your handwriting. It felt like the couch was pulling you in. The cushions wrapped you up, softer than how you’d imagine a cloud would feel. You didn’t mean to, but your eyes fluttered shut and stayed that way as you drifted to sleep.

Aaron didn’t even notice at first that you’d fallen asleep. He continued working, lost in the papers and his mind. He got so enveloped with the case, he hadn’t noticed the slow rise and fall of your chest and your body relaxed into his chest. Once he did notice though, that he wasn’t just being used as a cushion, it was all he could pay attention to.

It wasn’t that you always looked stressed, but it was a nice sight to see you so relaxed. He kept thinking about how you deserved it, what you might be dreaming about, even. Thinking about if it might’ve been him. A dread grew within him, knowing he’d have to wake you. He didn’t want to; you just looked so peaceful, angelic. Beautiful.

So he didn’t.

Instead, he draped a blanket – which he happened to have, thrown across the back of the couch, in case he had a late-night himself – over your resting form. He made sure to cover you fully, from below your neck to your toes, without waking you. Another thought soon crept into his head: he couldn’t just leave you here, overnight, alone.

He evaluated his options. He could try to sleep in his office chair, which he’d done before. It wasn’t the most comfortable. There was no room to lay down on the couch, for obvious reasons. He had a couple of chairs in the office, but…

His gaze fell upon you again. Was it risky, waging a war with fate in the chance that the two of you might be caught snuggling on the couch together? Absolutely, it was. But he was willing to take that chance. Besides, who could tell him, their boss, that he was wrong? Sure, the two of you may never quit hearing about it, but he wouldn’t mind. And something told him you wouldn’t either.

After doing a quick scan of the bullpen for remaining agents, and finding none, he shifted his weight ever so slowly, letting you fall gently onto the couch. He stepped quietly over to his desk to flick the lamp off, then closed the shades slowly, and shut the door, careful not to let the door handle click too loudly. He shrugged off his suit jacket and shoes, draping his jacket over your already-covered body.

He got as comfortable as possible on the cushion that he’d previously occupied, slowly, as to not shift the cushions and risk waking you. His eyes were trained on you; you never moved as he settled himself down. As cliché as it was, he seemed to fall asleep faster with you in the room.

The sun woke you up, in a disorienting way. The simple fact that the sun had woken you was strange in itself since the sun rises on the other side of your apartment complex. Suddenly, you remembered, you weren’t in your bed. The surface you were lying on was comfortable, but not your bed comfortable. The strangest thing was that your pillow was uneven. And warm. With a pulse.

Your eyes opened, and you instantly snapped them shut. Bad idea. The sun hurt your sensitive eyes, and a groan involuntarily slipped from your lips. You sat up, stretching out all your limbs. You looked over at your ‘pillow’, putting a heartbeat, chest and a smell to a face. The blanket and jacket you were covered with smelled of him, so you didn’t need to open your eyes to know who it was.

“Aaron?”, you asked in a sleepy voice. Your eyes finally focused, the sun losing its effect on you. He was awake. How long had he been…?

“Good morning, (Y/N). If you want a ride home to change out of yesterday’s clothes, I can drop you off on my way home.” A small smirk danced on his pink, soft-looking lips, the sun sparkling in his eyes like rays of light through a glass of whiskey. You started panicking. What if the team caught you like this? Would they tell Strauss? What if you lost your job?

“(Y/N).” You’d broken eye contact with him. He knew you were freaking out. You met his gaze again. “Nobody’s here. It’s eight o’clock, on a Sunday morning. Calm down.” Regret started flooding his mind. Should he have just taken you home? You exhaled a breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. “Are you okay?”, he asked you.

“Y-yeah, I’m good.” You rubbed your eyes, realizing too late you were wearing makeup, smearing it over the rest of your face. “Oh, shit.” You looked down at your hands, laughing at yourself. “I probably look a mess.”

Hotch laughed. “No, you don’t.” The words slipped from Aaron’s tired lips, no thought behind them. But it was true, it was how he felt. A blush crept up your neck and to your cheeks. Suddenly it was harder to meet his eyes. You chuckled nervously.

“Thanks, Hotch.” You wrung your fingers through your hands. A truthful atmosphere fell over the room, it seemed. “That was the best sleep I’d had in a while.” Hotch was a little taken aback at your honesty but flattered. He blushed a bit himself. He cleared his throat, then laughed.

“Me too, honestly.”, he muttered in a deep morning voice. Your eyes met. There wasn’t much space between the two of you in the first place, but you could’ve sworn he leaned forward to close the distance. His huge hand gently caressed your face, his thumb rubbing over your cheek. You watched his eyes flicker from yours to your lips. You could feel the blood rushing to your heart; you wondered if he could feel it running through your veins against his fingers.

His lips brushed against yours when suddenly, the alarm on his phone went off. The two of you jumped back like you’d been shot, your heart rate climbing. “Jesus Christ, Aaron.”, you exclaim, laughing to try and hide how startled you were. You hear him curse under his breath, digging his phone out of his pocket and silencing it. He sighed, shaking his head. He chuckled at himself, you assumed.

“I’m sorry.”, he said lowly. The apology wasn’t very specific towards anything; if it was, it wasn’t clear to you. How many things was he apologizing for? What thoughts were running through his head? He was hard to read, but maybe he liked it that way.

“For what?”, you asked softly, scooting closer to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. You felt him tense under your hand, then relax. He looked up at you.

“For ruining that…”, he trailed off as his eyes met yours. He searched your face, trying to understand exactly what feelings you were experiencing. Hopefully, he knew you weren’t upset with him. Your hand snaked down his arm, taking his hand in yours. Now it was your turn to cup his face in your hand; you felt his five o’clock shadow prickling against your fingers, but his cheek was soft as you smoothed it under your thumb.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”, you whispered. His eyes were a dark brown, despite the sunlight coming in. The rays were softer now, an orange color. His dark eyelashes shone under the light. He was enthralling in every way. You felt yourself falling harder and harder for him every second, especially now, but you’d never change that.

Your thumb lightly brushed over his lips, taking him in. He watched your every move, just as entranced with you as you were with him. You felt his hand behind your neck, pulling you closer to him until your lips finally touched. His lips on yours were better than you could’ve ever anticipated. He was slow, soft, gentle, like rain in the spring. Then again, there was a need behind it. A longing; he’d been waiting for this as long as you have, maybe even longer.

You wanted to kiss him all day, be in his arms and wrap yourselves up in each other. You were falling, hard. Harder than hitting every branch on the way down, harder than the way the first boom of a firework echoes in your chest.

Both of you were breathless by now, but neither of you seemed to care about the lack of oxygen. The kiss was deeper now, hotter, needier, messier. You’d thrown a knee over his lap, your hands fisted in his white button-up. His hands rested on your sides, dangerously low past the waistband of your pants. His lips suddenly broke from yours, the sound of your heavy breathing filling the room. He never stopped for a breath; his lips were making up for lost time, trailing from your chin, down your neck. He took his time with you, as you’d always imagined he would.

You’d barely caught your breath when you whisper his name in his ear. He stopped, pulling back. “(Y/N)? Are you okay?” His concerned eyes searched your face. You didn’t answer him with any words, just by kissing his lips again but only for a moment. The single kiss took a lot of your self-control, but you knew you were moving fast.

“I’ve never been better, Aaron. But…”, you said in a low voice, trailing a finger down his neck until you hit the first button on his shirt. “I want to take it slow with you, Hotch. I want to know all your little quirks and I want to be there for the stuff that you don’t do in front of anyone else because you trust me that much. I know how sappy it sounds…”, you paused, watching for his reaction through your spill so far. He watched you move and speak like you were the most important thing he’d ever had to pay attention to. And that’s exactly what you were to him. “Aaron,” you started again, running one of your hands through his hair, “I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for you. And here you are, everything I’ve ever wanted, right in front of me.”

How did he feel? He answered you with a kiss, one more passionate than any from earlier – if you could believe it, that is. “(Y/N)...you’re everything I’ve been waiting on. I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without you.” You chuckled, earning a small smile from him.

“Well, good luck getting rid of me now, Aaron Hotchner.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

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xjoonchildx · 5 years ago

Text

guarded | jhs x reader | chapter three: exotic pets

summary: you’ve tried to separate yourself from your infamous crime family, but a new case has your carefully-constructed world crashing down around you. now you have to figure out how to heal old wounds and handle the new man who enters your orbit.

pairing: hoseok x reader

genre: mafia AU, E2L, slow burn, tsundere, eventual smut

rating: 18+

word count: 3.4K

A/N: i hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! i’d love to hear what you think. thank you so much for your support. things are going to start ramping up on the whole slow burn angle from here. once again i must thank the fabulous @ladyartemesia for both this killer graphic and beta reading for me -- as well as the amazing @taetaewonderland. pouring out a sunkist in your honor today xoxo

Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | EPILOGUE

********************

It’s funny how people believe the shit they see in movies.

For instance, most film fans think it’s entirely possible to break a bottle over someone’s head. One character grabs for an empty beer during a fight and the glass explodes in dramatic fashion with just one crack across another character’s skull.

You know better.

You know there’s way too much give to the human body to shatter glass like that.

If you want to break a bottle you’ve got to connect with something much harder. The corner of a table. A fireplace mantle. That’s how it works in the real world.

You stare into the mirror and run the pad of one finger along the raised scar that mars your left collarbone. All these years later and it’s paler and smoother but it’s still hideous, taunting you in your reflection.

Today you cover it with an oversized scarf carefully matched to a silk blouse. Tomorrow it will be a turtleneck. You’ve come up with dozens of ways to hide the ruined skin, but there’s never going to be a way to get rid of it.

It will always be a physical reminder that there are some pieces of your past you can never leave behind.

************************

Hoseok has a cold.

There was extra gravel in his voice this morning as he went over your schedule for the day. You can detect the faint scent of a cough drop in the shared air of his car.

But he doesn’t mention it and neither do you.

This morning, you’re glad for it -- glad for the absence of small talk.

In a few minutes, you get to walk into your boss’s office and announce that half the evidence in what should be a home-run case has vanished into thin air. You have to pretend to have no idea why someone would want to sabotage a seemingly minor prosecution of a couple of idiot gangsters and you have to do it without so much as hinting at your family’s connection to organized crime in this town.

There’s a knot in your stomach so tight you feel nauseous.

Hoseok’s phone buzzes with an incoming call from the mount on the dash and he frowns for a split-second before sending it to voicemail. One minute later it buzzes again and he rejects it again. Seconds later and he makes it three in a row.

You know damned well that if those calls were about business, Hoseok would have answered them right away. The knot in your stomach tightens even more and you turn your head to stare out of the window.

It’s an unfair situation, this arrangement. Hoseok has access to every corner of your life while you don’t know a damned thing about him. Who would he be going home to every night if he weren’t under orders to stay with you? Who is waiting for him when this is all over?

Someone, certainly.

Willing women are in abundance in his line of work. You grew up around them -- a revolving door of beautiful, vulnerable girls who thought nothing of trading their bodies for gifts and cash. Women so eager for security and love they accepted whatever scraps were thrown their way.

In a way, you were like them -- a motherless little girl living in the midst of male-dominated chaos and desperate for female connection. You watched the way they styled their hair and applied their makeup and how they went about the myriad tasks of being women. Then inevitably you’d grow too attached too fast only to have your heart broken when one day they just disappeared.

And they always disappeared.

You wonder what the woman trying to reach Hoseok this morning looks like. You wonder if she’s angry that he’s had to be away so long. You wonder what version she gets of him and how different it must be from the version you get. The knot in your stomach is replaced by something else.

Something you’d rather not examine too closely.

**************************

“You should let me take you to lunch.”

Donghyuk interrupts what must be the worst morning of your entire career without so much as a knock or a hello. He drops into the empty chair in your office uninvited and doesn’t wait for you to answer.

“We could ditch the busy work, slip out the back entrance -- ” he grins conspiratorially, “ -- have a two-martini meal at Congdu and then sneak into the bathroom to fool around. What do you think?”

You groan out loud. You are not in the mood for this shit right now.

“This is not a good time, ‘Hyuk.”

He sighs. “Yeah, I heard.”

Of course he’s heard. Everyone in a hundred-foot radius has heard. To say your bosses were displeased with the bomb you dropped on them this morning is an understatement.

“So then why are you in my office asking me to go day drinking? Do you want me to be fired?”

“Of course not,” he says, looking offended. “I just thought you deserved a break from the madness for a minute.”

You laugh without a hint of humor.

“I’m going to get a permanent break from the madness if I don’t rescue this case somehow. So no -- no lunch today. Probably no lunch for the next six months, actually.”

Donghyuk frowns.

“Dinner, then? There’s a new spot in Gangnam I’ve been wanting to try. We could go tomorrow night.”

Christ, the man is insistent these days.

You are too mentally worn out to figure out why your casual arrangement with Donghyuk feels a hell of a lot less casual of late. If he’s suddenly decided he wants more than just the occasional meal-to-mattress thing you’ve enjoyed for months, he’s in for a disappointment. You are tapped out.

“I’ve got -- It’s just complicated for me right now,” you manage.

“Yeah, I get it,” he agrees sympathetically. “The bodyguard thing, right?”

“Right,” you repeat slowly, mind suddenly flipping back to Hoseok. Back to this morning’s car ride.

Back to those missed calls.

Something childish and petty and unbecoming stirs inside of you.

“You know what? Dinner tomorrow night could work, actually.”

Donghyuk leans back and smiles wide.

“Great.”

*********************

Hoseok’s cold hasn’t improved.

The ride to the restaurant is radio silent, but for the sound of his occasional sniffle. You could have sworn you saw actual displeasure cross his face when you’d asked him to take you to meet Donghyuk tonight. It feels like the air between you is crackling with tension.

But it’s probably your imagination.

Hoseok says nothing as he closes the car door behind you, nothing as he holds the door to the restaurant open for you, and nothing when you thank him as you step inside.

Donghyuk has a table waiting. No small feat because this place is packed.

It’s a brand-new restaurant and apparently one of the most expensive and coveted dining spots in the city. In an instant, it dawns on you that there’s no table for Hoseok. You turn to ask him where he wants to be, but he brushes past you to take a seat at the bar.

Again, he says nothing.

You huff your frustration under your breath as you slide into the chair across from Donghyuk. He’s got a snifter of what’s sure to be some pricey brandy in his hand.

“Germain-Robin Select Barrel,” he declares, swirling the amber liquid in his glass before taking a sip. “Best stuff in town.”

Of course it is.

Donghyuk is accustomed to having only the best of the best; a natural by-product of his upbringing. You’ve known one another since you were pupils at the same prep school, living parallel lives. You both had expensive homes and pricey tutors and fancy clothes -- but his family graced the pages of the society magazines while yours graced the pages of the newspapers.

This thing you have with him is supposed to be easy; an uncomplicated diversion. But lately, it's a hell of a lot less satisfying than it used to be. Either Donghyuk is really getting more self-absorbed and less interesting -- or you are just starting to not give a shit about anything he has to say.

He’s droning on about something golf-related when you tune out completely. Your eyes wander to Hoseok at the bar.

He still hasn’t ordered anything to eat and a drink sits untouched on the bartop.

“Sharp dresser, that guy.”

“What?”

You swing your focus back to Donghyuk like you’ve just come out of a trance.

“The bodyguard,” he says around a fork full of food. “He’s got pretty good taste for some street gangster. I should find out where he shops.”

You’re caught by surprise -- by his comment, by the way it makes your chest tighten. By the force of the second-hand embarrassment you suddenly feel on behalf of Hoseok.

“He’s not some -- street gangster,” you say quietly, slowly.

“Oh, he’s not?” Donghyuk asks, looking genuinely confused. “He’s not one of your brother’s guys?”

Red-hot anger blossoms inside of you so fast you can barely contain it. You stare Donghyuk down with the most venomous look you can muster.

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” you bite out. “But you have no clue what you’re talking about. And keep any mention of my brother out of your mouth.”

“Jeez, sorry,” Donghyuk fires back, lifting his hands in surrender. “I didn’t realize I was touching on a nerve. I thought you hated your family. That’s what everyone says, anyway.”

You jerk out of the chair so abruptly it nearly falls back. The napkin in your lap falls to the floor and the people sitting at the tables nearby stop to look. Donghyuk’s mouth falls open with surprise.

“I’m done,” you grind out, grabbing for your purse.

“Sit down,” Donghyuk hisses. “You’re making a scene.”

“She said she’s done.”

You never saw Hoseok move, never registered him leaving the bar -- but when you rip your gaze away from Donghyuk, he is at your side.

Hoseok opens his wallet and throws a pile of bills down on the table. He doesn’t spare a glance at Donghyuk as he calmly ushers you away from the table.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

***************************

The ride home from the restaurant is just as silent as the ride there.

Hoseok drives and you stare blankly out the window as you replay Donghyuk’s words in your mind.

I thought you hated your family. That’s what everyone says.

Yes -- you hated your father. You had your reasons and you had earned that right.

But Namjoon? Never. You could never hate your brother.

The fact that you’d given anyone -- even Donghyuk -- reason to believe otherwise makes you feel sick to your stomach. Shames weighs so heavy on your chest it feels like you can’t breathe.

You don’t even have the energy to devote to being embarrassed at how that whole scene played out in front of Hoseok. By the time he walks you into your apartment, you’re just desperate to wash up and fall into bed. Hoseok lingers in the living room but you don’t even look at him. You head straight for your bedroom.

The tears come the moment the latch clicks closed.

Followed closely by the screams.

**********************

HOSEOK

What a shitty way to end what had really shaped up to be an enjoyable night.

Hoseok could see the moment things went south at dinner. You’d looked disinterested from the second you sat down, distracted the entire time you ate your meal. But then the strangest look came over you at the end, something Hoseok couldn’t quite decipher. Until it was replaced by something he understood loud and clear from all the way across the room.

Fury.

It was way too fucking satisfying, really.

The look on that idiot’s face when you humiliated him in front of an entire restaurant full of his shitty little peers. The way his mouth dropped open when you told him you were done and the way his cheeks burned red when Hoseok tossed the money on the table.

That would have been the perfect way to end the night.

But then you started screaming.

Hoseok’s body is moving before his mind does. In seconds, he’s crossed the apartment and ripped your bedroom door open.

“Holy shit,” he breathes.

You are pressed against the far wall of the room, staring down at the floor. Hoseok follows your terrified gaze down to the large black snake coiled just a few feet away.

“Okay, wow. Fuck,” he mutters, shoving his hand through this hair, trying like hell to formulate a cohesive thought. “Okay just...just stay calm for me, okay? Can you do that?”

You say nothing, out of screams and out of words as you stare back at him. It’s clear that no, staying calm is the last thing you can do right now but staying silent is a pretty good second option.

“I have to leave you for a second, okay? Just one second. Can you stay calm for me?” Hoseok repeats, taking a tentative step out the door. “You don’t have to answer me, just nod. I’m going to be back in seconds and I’m going to get this thing out of here. Are you with me?”

Hoseok watches as you pull in one shaky breath and nod woodenly. That’s all the affirmation he needs.

He runs to rip a pillowcase off one of the pillows on his bed. When he gets back to your room, the snake has stretched it’s long body into a flat line and you look somehow more terrified than you did when he left.

“I’m back, okay?” he reassures, even though he’s certain you already know that. But you won’t take your eyes off that snake and he wants you to hear the artificial calm in his voice. “Don’t make any sudden moves. I’m going to get this thing into this pillowcase in my hands.”

He talks you through what he’s doing like it’s going to somehow reinforce that he’s in control when he knows that he’s anything but. Hoseok has seen and done a lot of weird shit in this line of work, but he’s never had to wrangle a fucking snake. He has a basic understanding of what needs to be done, but that’s still a far damned cry from actually doing it.

He takes one deep breath and starts forward with careful steps.

The fact that the snake has uncoiled might work to his advantage, he reasons. From this angle he can probably reach the tail without coming too close to the head. He knows that whatever move he makes has to be fast and decisive -- and he understands instinctively that your composure relies almost entirely on him maintaining his.

He sees you clap a hand over your mouth to stop from screaming when he grabs for the snake. The animal’s long body undulates in his grip, stronger than he expected, and he has to pull back when the snake swings its head in his direction. The entire debacle couldn’t have lasted any more than five seconds, but by the time Hoseok gets an opportunity to pull the pillowcase over the snake’s body, it feels like an eternity.

He wonders if you could see how badly his hands were shaking the entire time.

*******************

“So wait, what kind of snake is it?”

“Fuck Yoongi, I don’t know,” Hoseok snaps, pulling the cabinets under your bathroom sink open. He rifles through the contents, checking to make sure nothing else has been left behind.

“Black. Shiny. Doesn’t look friendly. You gonna come help me toss this apartment or do you want to talk exotic pets?”

“Don’t be a dick,” Yoongi chuckles, “and don’t do anything to that snake. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”

Hoseok ends the call without so much as a goodbye.

He takes a break from inspecting your room to walk out into the living room to check on you. You are seated cross-legged on your couch, staring into nothing.

“Yoongi is on his way,” he says, rubbing one hand across the back of his neck. “He’s going to help me do a deep dive in all the rooms.”

You don’t respond.

“You okay?”

You turn your head slowly and blink up at him like you’ve just registered the sound of his voice.

“Uh, yeah,” you say slowly, even though you sound anything but. “I’m okay.”

Hoseok tongues his cheek. He wishes he knew what to do or what to say to make you feel more at ease. He chides himself for the thought almost as soon as it comes. You probably wouldn’t want to hear it from him, anyway.

“Alright,” he sighs, turning back towards your bedroom. “Just give me a minute to get through everything in here and then you can get some sleep.”

“Hoseok?”

You call to him from the couch and he turns back to face you.

“Thank you,” you say quietly.

Something twists inside Hoseok’s stomach at the despondent look on your face. It’s such a contrast to the look he saw tonight at the restaurant -- the fiery, angry one that made him feel like he could understand you a bit more. He would rather see any other version of you than the one he sees right now.

“You’re welcome,” he says thickly, turning away to get back to work.

***********************

You are still sleeping when Hoseok leaves Seokjin at your apartment in his place.

Namjoon is standing at his office window this morning, like he often does when he’s thinking. Yoongi nods when Hoseok enters the office and helps himself to the only other empty chair.

“What happened last night?” Namjoon asks, not bothering to turn away from the window.

Yoongi shoots Hoseok a look that says you first and Hoseok returns with one of his own that says no shit, sherlock.

“There’s not much that you’re not already briefed on,” Hoseok starts, “I brought your sister home from a social outing and when we got home she found a snake on her bedroom floor. I was able to contain the snake and Yoongi and I searched every inch of the apartment after that. Didn’t turn up anything else.”

“Any sign of forced entry?”

“No,” Hoseok admits. “I couldn’t find any. I have a locksmith working with Seokjin on replacing the deadbolt again this morning.”

“Right,” Namjoon says, turning away from the window to walk back to his desk. “So that makes twice now that we’ve changed her locks, twice now that someone has managed to get in anyway. What about the cameras outside?”

“I checked the footage,” Yoongi says. “Someone used a pole or a stick to put a physical block over the lens. It was still up there when I checked this morning. Duct tape.”

Namjoon scrubs a hand across his jaw, sighs out loud.

“Fuck. Where are we with tracking the Lee girl?”

Yoongi clears his throat. “I’ve been out on a few runs so far; nothing out of the norm. Work to home to work. I’ve got Jimin and Tae checking out some other stuff but nothing to report back yet.”

“Keep digging,” Namjoon insists. “She has everything she needs. The knowledge and the access, but most importantly she has my sister’s trust. That’s what worries me the most.”

He turns his attention to Hoseok. “My sister. How is she holding up?”

Hoseok thinks back to the way you looked last night, back to that blank look on your face.

Not well.

“She’s tired,” he replies carefully. “Stressed out because she’s trying to rescue her case. The snake shit did not help.”

“I’m sure it didn’t.”

“Speaking of which -- ” Yoongi interjects, “ -- that snake. It’s an Indigo snake. Not venomous.”

Namjoon lifts one eyebrow.

“I’m saying the Ssijog are not trying to hurt her, not really. They only want to scare her into fucking up this case,” Yoongi reasons. “Trust me, they don’t want to make shit worse for themselves right now by adding a dead prosecutor to the mix.”

Hoseok winces at the logical-but-clumsy delivery of that last line.

Namjoon’s mouth pulls into a tight line as he leans back in his chair and steeples his fingers. Hoseok has worked for the man long enough to know that he’s not the type to lash out when he gets angry. Namjoon is the type to go quiet.

Like right now.

He narrows his eyes at Yoongi before opening his mouth to speak.

“You’re probably right about that, Yoongi,” he says in a low, careful tone. “But let me ask you this. Is that a bet you’re willing to make with my sister’s life on the line?”

Yoongi -- wisely -- doesn’t answer that.

****************************

tag list!

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#hoseok smut #hoseok x reader #bts mafia #bts tsundere #hoseok mafia au #bangtanarmynet #btswriterscollective #ksmutclub #ficswithluv #btscreatorscorner #networkbangtan

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radramblog · 4 years ago

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What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2.

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.

#ramble #honestly more of an essay #homestuck #homestuck 2 #dirk strider #ultimate dirk #just ignore me accidentally posting this to the wrong account and having to reup it

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ardenttheories · 5 years ago

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I think I may have said this before, but if not, let me say it here now:

One of the biggest reasons people dislike Homestuck^2, beyond how unsatisfying it is to read unless you’re really into the metanarrative complexities and connecting all the little dots, is that it doesn’t host the feeling of Homestuck anymore.

Homestuck was written with the fans in mind. Hussie had us front and centre first and foremost, especially during the first few years of Homestuck’s creation. At no point were we not involved, even when we could no longer include any of our suggestions because the fandom was simply too big for him to pick one.

We can all agree that there’s a point where Homestuck stopped being written “for us”. There was just a point at which it didn’t quite hit the same way, but it was still Homestuck, and they were still characters we loved, and to some degree we were still involved. Even at some of the worst times, we were there. We can definitely say there are some parts we disliked, and some things that didn’t quite hit right, but overall we can still look at Homestuck as something worthwhile. Something that we still love even four years after its conclusion. Something we can still reread and produce content for.

But when Homestuck was over? When the main story had finished? When the Epilogues were released? That’s when it really stopped being “for us”. That’s when they stopped caring how we felt about the characters, what we wanted, what would hit right for us. The Epilogues were meant to hurt. They were meant to play with our connection to this story, to these characters, and they - for a lot of people - went a step too far. They were heavy. And while the metanarrative stuff was interesting, and there’s so much we can get out of it as theorists and literature students and writers, for the normal fan? The everyday content consumer? There’s nothing enjoyable to get out of reading the Epilogues. Everything is tinged with bitterness.

This brings us back to Homestuck^2.

Homestuck^2 was touted to have a base storyline that could change - and would change - with fandom involvement. That they’d pay attention to us and would include us in the writing process again. In other words, it was going to be like early Homestuck. We were going to be a fundamental part of something we love. This was the chance for it to feel like Homestuck used to - and, maybe, for us to get something enjoyable out of the Epilogues.

But what’s happened instead? More and more of Homestuck^2 is coming out, and every time there is a flurry of posts detailing how much people hate it. How it hurts. How they don’t understand what the fuck is going on with these characters. How it’s just a bit too far.

Every time I tell people who don’t read Homestuck^2 what happens, I don’t get a response of “oh shit, I gotta catch up!”. I get “oh thank fuck I decided not to read it”.

This is not the response of a fandom that feels they are part of a writing process. This is not the response of a fandom that is enjoying what’s happening as much as they did with the original piece of media. This feels like a fandom watching a train wreck; horrified, uncomfortable, but unable to look away.

Does this feel like a story being influenced by fandom voice? When a majority of the fandom is uncomfortable with what they’re reading? When a fair portion of the fandom has outright stopped reading? No. It doesn’t.

This is another story being written without thought for the fandom. Arguably, this is being written against the fandom. There’s just so much that is inherently unenjoyable. And when the original text was founded on fandom interaction... this just doesn’t vibe the same.

I get that there’s the argument that this is like the Marvel comics multiverse. That there’s different authors, different series, and that at the end of the day, you as the reader hold authority over which you like, which you see as canon. But this isn’t that.

This is an actual continuation of Homestuck. This is “what comes after”. You can’t consider this the same as bringing out a new series of Spiderman - because this is the Hussie-approved followup of the original story. This is partly the story he wrote.

You know what would have been more like the Marvel comics argument? Paradox Space. Multiple authors writing equally canonical and noncanonical comics that are hosted within the same universe as Homestuck, but aren’t involved in the original, core story. No one PS comic is the true “continuation” of Homestuck. But Homestuck^2 is.

You quite literally can’t cut that tie. You can’t state that this isn’t the official continuation of Homestuck when it’s written by Andrew Hussie and the official writing team under him. You can’t disconnect that Hussie Seal of Approval from Homestuck^2. You can’t cut that influence that this is how Homestuck goes on.

Trying to tell us that “if you don’t like it, don’t read it” just doesn’t fly. It doesn’t give the writers a right to speak out against an unhappy fandom. It doesn’t give them a right to do worse things and then be angered or upset when we don’t like it. “This isn’t something you have to read” doesn’t work when we’re all avidly aware that this is what Homestuck is now. That it’s completely out of our hands, and there’s nothing we can do about it because the writers aren’t upholding their end of the “we’re listening and co-writing with the fandom” bargain. That it isn’t a Marvel comics situation.

Homestuck^2 is Homestuck. There’s no two ways about it. But it fails to hit every note of what made Homestuck the wonderful cult classic it is, because it fails to take into account the fandom in a text that is historically untangleable from the fandom.

#homestuck^2 #homestuck #long post//#ardenttheories #homestuck critical #homestuck^2 critical

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nsheetee · 5 years ago

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Love Again

Pairing: Jisung x Reader Genre: Fluff, slight Angst Length: 3.2k Summary: You and Jisung are stuck in his family’s old beach house because of an unexpected storm, and are forced to confront what happened between you two six months ago. Key: section in italics indicate the scene happened in the past A/N: this is for all of my followers who cried over 20cm haha, I hope you all enjoy ♡

Love Again is the epilogue to 20cm, please read that story first before continuing

December 12th, 4:34pm

Jisung quietly walks along the shore of the beach, cold sea breeze blowing against his side and sand shifting with every step under his feet. He sniffs and looks out to the water, digging his hands further into his pockets before stopping completely. To any other person, this would be just a random spot on the beach, an area that looks identical to any other along this long coastline, but to Jisung this would be a spot that is forever remembered in his heart.

This is where he kissed you for the first time.

The memory is imprinted in his mind. It replays during his most vulnerable moments: before he falls asleep, the days he feels like the world is against him, the times when he thinks of his first love. The memory is so sweet yet so bitter that Jisung can’t help but keep it close to his heart.

He sighs heavily while looking around the empty and cold beach, as if waiting for something that will never happen, and then turns around and walks back to the beach house.

This house had so many precious memories, not just of you, but of times he spent his childhood here. Every summer he would look forward to spending time at the beach and wasting the days away in the warm sun. Now, his parents have decided to sell the beach house, and Jisung volunteered to drive over and pick up any of his family’s personal belongings before the new owners arrive.

Jisung had a reason for volunteering; he hoped that picking up all of his belongings could be a way of closing the part of his life that lived here. He wanted those memories to only live in his head, not out and about in this house.

He digs out the old keys from his pocket and unlocks the front door, walking into the empty beach house. The dim weather outside permeates in, and dust floats in the air and makes Jisung cough a bit. The ocean is so close that Jisung can hear the thundering waves hit the shore from the storm brewing on the horizon of the ocean when he opens the back patio doors.

He lets fresh air in and looks around the dining and living room area, unsure of where to start packing, or if he even has any energy to do anything from driving all the way from the city. Before he can think too much, he hears a car park outside and then a car door open and shut. Jisung tilts his head and walks to the front door, wondering who just pulled up.

He pulls the front door open, his grip loosens on the door knob when he recognizes who is standing on the other side, the door hitting the wall with a loud bang as Jisung stands in shock.

“Bumble bee?” He asks in disbelief. You’re still standing outside, the screen door separating you and Jisung from each other, but you can hear him. You have the urge to get back into your car and drive away, but your shock keeps you from moving.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung realizes how cold his words sound only after he utters them, and he doesn’t miss the way your lips purse at his tone.

“Your mom called my mom. There’s some of our stuff here, too… from years ago.” You explain, still awkwardly standing on the porch while Jisung is inside. Drops of rain start to fall, making you tilt your head up to the sky and watch the dark and overflowing clouds drip down onto the earth. “I’m sorry, I thought you wouldn’t be here until tomorrow. I’ll just come back in a few days-”

“Wait.” Jisung hasn’t seen you in almost six months, but you haven’t changed much. Your hair grew a little longer and your face shrunk a bit. Jisung wonders if you’ve been eating well. Despite what happened the last time you saw each other, Jisung’s heart still races and his head gets a bit fuzzy at the sight of you.

Is Jisung stupid for still harbouring feelings for you, especially after you hurt him and didn’t contact him for almost six months? Maybe, but he’d be stupid for you any day.

“It’s supposed to storm soon, you shouldn’t drive back in the rain. Just… stay here for the night.” Jisung hates how he sounds like he’s pleading. More than anything, he wants to feel that rush of adrenaline from when you touch him, he just wants to be loved by you again like you did the last time you two were in this house. He craves that feeling, and he craves it only from you.

“Is that okay? Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, and long as you are.”

Just as the rain starts beating down, you step into the house and shut the door behind you. Jisung walks to the back patio door and closes it before any rain can get inside. You two stand in silence in the house, not sure about how both of your existences can fit into such a small space again. Your eyes looking everywhere but at each other.

“I’ll go find our stuff and start packing. I can use those boxes, right?” You point to some cardboard over on the left side of the room. Jisung meekly nods, watching as you put together a box and walk upstairs. After you leave, he mingles by the patio door and wonders about how everything went so haywire.

You were best friends for so long, confining in each other and having fun together. He misses that, too. Not just the deeper feelings he shares with you, but he misses the fun he has with you; how everything feels exciting when you’re around. He feels comfortable with you, as a person, friend, and lover. Jisung feels bitter about how he lost something as precious as that in his life.

The house is quiet as you two gather up your belongings and pack them into cardboard boxes. The storm outside shakes the house every once in a while, and Jisung catches glimpses of the roaring ocean whenever he looks out a window. Jisung isn’t sure how much time has passed, but it’s definitely night time when the lights and power turn off.

“Bumb— Y/N? Where are you?” Jisung calls out in the house when the flickering of the lights stops and the whole house is covered in darkness.

“Master bedroom.” You call out, not moving from your spot to avoid stepping on something and hurting yourself in the dark. Jisung walks in with a flashlight and lights the way out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen.

Now that the lights are off and the heat in the house is slowly diminishing, the storm outside is scarier than before. You tug your cardigan around you to keep some body warmth when the landline phone in the kitchens starts ringing. Jisung shines the light for you to walk over and answer it, watching as you listen intently and then hang up.

“That was the power company. They’ll have the power back on before midnight.” Jisung nods, and you both promptly jump when lightning strikes outside and thunder follows it shortly after.

“So, do you want some hot chocolate?” Jisung asks, being able to see you tilt your head thanks to his flashlight.

“How will we boil water?”

“The stove has gas.” Jisung shines the light over to the stove. “It’s an old piece of junk but it works without electricity.” Jisung shines the light back to you, his heart skipping a beat when you smile at him for the first time this whole day. You still don’t answer his question, wrapping your arms around yourself and biting your lip awkwardly.

“Hey, we can’t pack in the dark, it’ll get cold soon, and I don’t think I’ll be able to go to sleep with the storm happening outside. Let’s just have some hot chocolate.”

A few minutes later, the kettle on the stove is screeching for attention and you’re looking around the kitchen for some candles to light the kitchen table. Jisung brings the mugs full of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows on top over to the table as you’re igniting a match and lighting the two candles you found. You sit next to each other, the view of the dark and angry ocean visible through the patio doors from your spot.

“Are these the mugs we got at Disney World?” You comment, looking at your own cup and then glancing at Jisung’s. You remember several years ago when your families went to Disney World for a vacation and you bought mugs as souvenirs, but quickly misplaced them and wondered where they went.

“Yeah, I found them in the back of the cupboard. Do you remember when we bought these? Our parents gave us cash to buy toys or stuffed animals or whatever, and they looked so shocked when we brought back two matching mugs instead.” You do remember, and the memory makes both of you laugh, reminiscing about how your parents called you and Jisung “strange” for not getting toys with the free money they gave you.

For a second, you and Jisung just live in the present, laughing at old memories and not worrying about the situation you’re in. Jisung loves how no matter what is happening, you can make him forget it all and just focus on you. The thunder from outside brings you two back to reality. You sit in silence, for a few moments and watch the waves hit the shore outside, the view slightly altered by the rain drops that managed to land on the clear patio door.

“Why didn’t you call?” Jisung doesn’t know what prompts him to ask the question, other than that it has been on his mind for ages. He watches you slowly put your mug down and look at him, eyes wide and calculating, like you’re thinking about how much you should tell him. You’re remembering the day that Jisung left, when you sobbed about your bitter first love under your oak tree and then walked inside of your house in tears.

“Y/N!” Your mother called out, watching you walk into the house from the porch door and stand in the middle of the kitchen, clothes dripping and boots muddy. She rushes to the cupboard in the hallway and pulls out a few towels, wrapping you in them and making you sit down at the kitchen table to take off your muddy shoes.

“Goodness, I said you would get caught in the rain, but no, you didn’t listen.” She tuts, patting you dry and tossling your hair. You don’t think she realizes that the wetness on your face is from your tears and that your eyes are red from crying, but maybe it’s better that she doesn’t ask questions about that. Despite her fussing over you, you still see the piece of paper lying on the kitchen table next to you.

“What’s that?” You ask, eyeing the paper with digits scratched on it in familiar handwriting.

“Jisung came back in before he left. He wanted to give that to you, but you already left for Uncle Henry’s.” Picking it up, your pruney fingertips leave the paper wet but still readable as you look at the numbers.

“Ugh, and look at my floor! Y/N, you’re mopping this up after you go take a warm shower.” Your mother sighs, but you barely hear her as you look at the piece of paper.

This is your one way of connecting to Jisung. You could call him tomorrow and hear his voice. You could call him next week and apologize. You could call him in a month and make a plan to meet up. There is so much you can do with this phone number, but you can’t find the will to save it.

The last words you said to Jisung ran through your head, “I’m sorry, Jisung. I think fate is pulling us apart. Who are we to go against that?” You hurt yourself just thinking about how ruthless you were to someone who just confessed their feelings to you.

You got up and walked to the kitchen, opening the trash can and taking one last look at the piece of paper before throwing it away. You can’t bring yourself to imagine that Jisung would still want to talk to you after all the things you said to him.

“I- I didn’t know what to say to you.” You finally answer Jisung’s question after a moment of silence between you two. “Like, ‘Hey, remember me? The girl who broke your heart and didn’t say goodbye to you? Yeah, wanna talk?’ That just… isn’t right.”

“I was waiting for your call. I answered every random phone number that called me because it could’ve been yours.” Jisung laughs, “I got put onto so many spam lists.” You smile at him, but it pains you to know that Jisung was patiently waiting for you when you never even thought about calling him.

You turn back to your hot chocolate, unsure of what to say. Jisung finally understands what is keeping you back; what is making you look so small and awkward in his presence.

You feel guilty.

It’s not a doubt that you broke his heart by using an excuse as silly as fate to justify your fears. But unlike Jisung, who has accepted your words, you seem to still live in the past, those words you told him still haunting you. Jisung doesn’t want you to be stuck in that time, he wants you to face the moment and figure things out now.

Jisung scoots his chair closer to you, the side of his face illuminated by the candles that are quickly dimming out. It brings your attention back to him as he tries to put his words together.

“Call me an idiot, but I still have feelings for you.” His sudden confession makes your eyebrows rise and your heart jump into your throat and then plummet down into your tummy. “When you said that we shouldn’t try to make this work because fate wasn’t on our side, it hurt, I’ll admit that, but it didn’t stop me from feeling love towards you.” You feel stupid for the tears coming to your eyes and you look away to wipe them. Jisung lightly places his hand on the side of your face and brings your gaze back to him.

“Don’t look away. Don’t hide your tears from me.” He wipes away the wet stains on your cheeks. “It’s okay if you still think we shouldn’t be together because fate doesn’t want us to. It’s okay if you still think we should go to our own lives and stay that way. But it’s not okay to think that I feel any less about you because of what you said to me. You’ll always be important to me. I’m so in love with you that I’ll do anything for you at this point.”

You feel like you just won a marathon, or like you woke up without an alarm clock for the first time in your life, or like your favorite song came on shuffle just when you were thinking about it; all of those feelings multiplied by a thousand. You feel energized and excited and so deep in your feelings for Jisung. How did you get so lucky to have someone like him in your life? You’re not sure, but one thought comes to the forefront of your mind as you look into his sincere eyes: You never want to let him go ever again.

“I love you, too. I never got to say it before. I’m sorry. I love you, too.” Jisung didn’t even realize you never said that phrase back to him, it just felt as if the fact didn’t need to be put into words to be known between you two. But now that the words are out, Jisung feels himself turn soft with adoration for you. He leans in and presses his lips to your forehead, the weather outside no longer bothering you as you sit in the dim candlelight. No more words are needed to express how gratifying and nice it feels to sit next to each other, reconnected, once again.

Jisung wakes up the next morning with the sun in his eyes. He digs his fingers through his hair as he sits up and stretches, and then immediately looks at the spot to his left. The area where you had fallen asleep last night is empty, and Jisung stays quiet for a moment to hear if you’re moving around the house.

When he hears nothing, he pushes the blankets off of him and gets up from the bed to wander down the stairs and to the kitchen. You’re nowhere to be seen and Jisung begins to panic, until he catches a glimpse outside of the patio doors of someone standing on the beach, facing the water.

“Y/N!” He calls out against the harsh wind as he walks through the sand towards you, meeting you and tugging a jacket over your shoulders. “You need to wear this, it’s too cold out.” He keeps his arms around you, holding the jacket over you. His chin rests on your head as you both cuddle against the cold winds, the shining sun doing nothing to heat you up. With the calm waves hitting the shore, no one would believe there was a bad storm here just a few hours ago.

“I thought you left me.” Jisung whispers as he leans down, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. You two had spent the night in the same bed under the excuse that it would be warmer than sleeping alone, since the power had not yet turned on when you decided to sleep. In reality, you just didn’t want to leave Jisung and he didn’t want to leave you, not when you just got each other back.

“Never. I’ll never do that again.” Your answer fulfills his comment, but it also answers what you were talking about last night. It’s scary to look up at Jisung and think about how much unknown is ahead of you, but it’s comforting to know that Jisung is the one that will be there to jump every hurdle with you.

Keeping the zippers of your coat in his hands, Jisung turns you away from the water to face him. He remembers how timid and shy he was the first time you two were staring at each other like this, in this exact same spot. Now, he feels that same bashfulness possess him, but the fondness and love for you over powers it, making him lean in and connect his lips with yours for the second time in his life.

He kisses you sweetly, warming you up from the inside out, making you feel like you’re in an oven rather than on a cold beach in December. Soon, his kisses turn needier and he pulls you closer, chest to chest and noses scrunching together. You both smile, scared and in love and awaiting your unsure future together. You never imagined being stuck in a beach house during a storm could bring you to your senses, and could bring your lover back to you.

Maybe that’s what fate had planned for you all along.

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keanureevesisbae · 4 years ago

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Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 11

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: It starts off with smut - so yeah

Wordcount: 3.7k

A/N: Do I have tons of chapters I have to write before the ending of this fic is near? Absolutely. Did I already write the epilogue? You bet I did. Did that make me cry a little bit? Yes...

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

Marianne took Vanessa out shopping today for the Christmas dinner tomorrow at the Cavill residence and originally I had the plan to clean up the house a bit, pretending like I’m an okay housewife, but Henry obviously had other plans.

And trust me, I’m not complaining about the change of plans.

With lightening speed he had undressed not only me, but the both of us, pushed me on the bed and wrapped his arms around my legs, as he pressed my hips deeply into the mattress. He has been kissing my inner thighs for a while now and I tug his hair, hoping for him to stop teasing me. Henry looks up as he lets his tongue slide between my folds.

‘What has gotten into you, Cavill?’ I ask him with a chuckle, as I shiver in pleasure underneath him.

For a few seconds he ignores me, as he moans against my wet entrance, before he looks up again, this time with a sly smile on his face. His chin, lips and tiny mustache are glistering with my juices and I never thought that would turn me on even more. ‘It’s your own fault really,’ he says to me. ‘You look so fucking hot.’ He dives back in, his tongue flicking around the sensitive nub.

‘I hate you,’ I whine out.

‘Sure you do,’ he chuckles and the vibrations make me nearly scream out of pleasure. ‘That’s my girl, let me know how I make you feel.’

I feel the familiar feeling coil up in my abdomen, but like the little fucker Henry is, he pushes himself up and lays down next to me. ‘I really hate you,’ I groan out, feeling the orgasm slowly subdue.

He chuckles and kisses me, as I taste myself on his lips. ‘Just teasing a bit never hurts,’ he shrugs, as he wets his fingers between my folds. He pushes one in, followed by another one shortly after. I moan against his lips, arching my back. He knows exactly what works for me and I secretly love him for knowing me so well. Not to compare (but I will do it anyways), but sex with Wesley was good, but generic. It was pretty much the same every single time and I could almost look at the clock, to know in how many minutes I would have an average orgasm.

With Henry that’s never the case, like ever. He takes me by surprise and it’s mindblowing each time.

His fingers roughly slip in and out of me and I bite my lip to prevent myself from screaming out of pleasure. On any normal day I would, because I know the neighbors aren’t home, but since it’s the day before Christmas, they are constantly home and the walls are pretty thin.

His thumb brushes against my swollen clit. ‘Don’t you dare tease me now,’ I tell him, as I feel the orgasm building up inside me again. ‘Please,’ I add in a more desperate tone.

Henry crashes his lips on mine and bites my bottom lip, earning him a soft moan. ‘You’re close now, aren’t you?’

‘I am.’ I push my thighs together, as the tingling feeling takes over. I let out a desperate cry. But unlike other times, I feel fluids gush passed his fingers, staining the sheets underneath me. He doesn’t stop, of course he doesn’t stop. This is Henry Cavill and he only stops when I use our safe word (that I never have to use before) or when he thinks it’s enough. The insides of my thighs are completely wet, just like the drenched sheets. He slowly pulls out his fingers as my body jolts with the aftershocks of the orgasm of a lifetime.

‘Holy shit,’ I choke out, before I let out a chuckle of disbelieve.

‘You can say that again. When I thought you couldn’t get any sexier, you do this.’ Henry’s lips fall on mine and he smiles underneath the kiss. ‘I’m such a lucky man,’ he says and I notice he is beaming with pride, while I should be the one after that lovely compliment he just gave me.

I push him on his back and straddle his hips. ‘You are,’ I say, cockiness dripping through every letter I say. His hands grab my ass, when I slowly guide his painfully hard cock near my entrance. I take him in, letting him stretch out my walls and he lets his head fall back in the pillow with a muffled moan. I dig my nails in his chest and he looks up at me again, with a beautiful smile that makes me fall in love with him even more.

‘You have a look on your face,’ I notice. ‘What’s going on inside your head?’

He shakes his head. ‘I don’t want to say,’ he chuckles. ‘Little secret of mine.’

‘Then I won’t continue,’ I say. ‘And I can handle being in this position for hours on end, but I highly doubt you can.’

He tsks, but the blush on his cheeks give away his real feelings and I can’t believe he gave himself away just like that. ‘I was just wondering something.’

‘Enlighten me.’

‘I was thinking about our future,’ he says, as his hands slowly force me to slightly grind on him. Since I have a feeling he’ll let me in on his thoughts, I let him.

‘Why would that be a secret of yours? If it’s our future, shouldn’t you tell me about it?’

He swallows hard, as the minimal friction is driving him crazy. ‘I was thinking about the day we found out you were pregnant.’

Now it’s my turn to blush. ‘You want me pregnant, mister Cavill?’ I ask him.

‘Not right now, but in our future,’ he quickly says. ‘Do you ever want to get pregnant again?’

‘With whose baby?’ I chuckle.

He rolls his eyes, before he lets out a laugh. ‘You’re cruel, Olivia.’

I lean forward with a chuckle, so I can kiss him properly. ‘Well, I only want to get pregnant again, if I know for sure you’re going to stay. I don’t want to put Belle through my moods again and i also don’t think I want to go through it again without a man by my side.’

‘Of course I’m going to stay,’ he scoffs. ‘I would be the lowest kind of man if I left. I want to expand our little family with you one day.’

I blink away some tears, because that is by far the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. ‘I would love that too.’

He turns us around, so I’m on my back and he slowly sets the pace, as his hand is cupping my face. ‘I love you so much, sweetheart,’ he whispers. ‘You have no idea.’

I buck my hips to meet his thrusts, as I wrap my arms around his neck, so I can feel his broad chest against mine. ‘I love you too, Henry. I want you to be my baby daddy.’

He laughs. ‘That’s not a title I ever thought I’d earn, but I’m here for it.’ He buries his face in my neck, slowly picking up the pace. I close my eyes and I let out a soft sob. ‘You okay, love?’

‘I’m good,’ I say. ‘You just make me feel really good, like usual.’

His thrusts become a lot harder and I clench around him, digging my nails in his muscled back. ‘I can feel you’re close again, sweetheart,’ he says.

I simply nod, as I’m thrown over the edge again, filling the room with strangled moans, before they are muffled as Henry kisses me. I ride out my high, but Henry is not stopping. I cry out, wanting to press my thighs against each other, but he large frame prevents me from doing so. ‘Almost there, sweetheart,’ he tells me with a smile.

His thrusts turn sloppy and I feel his thick cum spurt inside me. It makes me wonder: what if I got pregnant pretty soon? I wouldn’t even mind, because he told me (and I know deep down) that he will indeed stay. He is not going to go and put me through this alone.

Henry nearly suffocates me, as he lets his heavy frame almost collapse against mine. I can’t help but laugh. ‘You want me dead before you get me pregnant?’ I ask.

He chuckles. ‘Of course not,’ he says, before he gently pulls out and plops on his back next to me.

I curl up beside him and let myself engulf in Henry’s strong arms. ‘How soon do you want to expand our family?’ I ask him.

‘Whenever you are ready,’ he says.

‘I feel like you and I should wait a bit longer,’ I say, ‘however, if it happens sooner, rather than later, it simply happens and we can handle that too, can’t we?’

‘We sure can, love,’ he says, pulling me closer so he can kiss me. ‘And… I can’t believe that I met you, that we are talking about this kind of stuff and that this is my life right now.’

≫≫≪≪

The next day the entire Cavill family is happy to see us. On the first Christmas day, Vanessa and I are spending our time here here. Tomorrow we are going to Belle and her parents over in Liverpool, since they have a big party and Belle is terrified of facing them alone, because she still doesn’t have a boyfriend.

Maybe I should try and see what Cavill boy I can help her out with. I mean, she might be single and desperate, but these guys are on another level, if I’m being honest.

Despite that, there is still one thing I can’t stop thinking about and that is how Henry and I have talked about expanding our family. That feels like such a grown up thing to do and since I’m going to turn thirty next year, I shouldn’t be that afraid right? I mean, I have a daughter already, that’s pretty grown up.

I take a sip of my hot chocolate, as I watch Henry, Simon and Niki helping Vanessa with roasting marshmallows in the fireplace. Kal has his head placed on Henry’s shoulder and that sight alone makes me realize that I have found the perfect guy with the perfect dog, just like the drawings of Vanessa predicted.

Marianne, Piers and Colin are finalizing something in the kitchen, but they forced me out of there, because I should relax and enjoy my time here.

‘It fits him right?’ Charlie asks, as he stands next to me and I look up.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask.

‘The dad role.’

I chuckle. ‘It sure does.’

‘Out of all of us, it bothered him the most, that he was single and didn’t have a family yet,’ Charlie continues. ‘Before we met you, he sat down with us individually, but also together in front of mom and dad, to talk to us about how we should behave. At first we thought he was joking, but that man was dead serious.’ He can’t help but laugh at the memory. ‘Kept saying to us that we can’t embarrass him too much and that he doesn’t want certain jokes around the two of you, because he was afraid it might scare you away.’

I nod, before I burst out in laughter. ‘Well, I know that I could’ve handled it, growing up with two brothers and always have their annoying friends over, but… Vanessa is a serious kid, she might’ve been scared away indeed.’

‘He is really fond of you,’ Charlie continues. ‘And we are too.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Also, he looks at you in a way, that is both romantic and disgusting.’

‘Means he loves me a lot,’ I say with a chuckle. ‘Listen, Charlie, I… Thank you, not only to you, but for everyone, because they have been so welcoming. It truly means a lot to be part of a family again.’

Charlie chuckles, his cheeks burning up slightly. ‘It’s great having you here and we hope you never leave again, because I think my dad would also leave this family and exchange us for you and Vanessa in a heartbeat and I don’t think I would survive that.’

‘Mommy,’ Vanessa says, as she walks over to me, ‘would you like a marshmallow?’

‘But you fed me four, honey,’ I say with a pout. ‘Have you given uncle Charlie any?’

Her eyes widen and she says: ‘No…’

‘That’s okay, little princess,’ Charlie says, crouching down in front of her.

‘You want this one?’ she asks.

He nods and she feeds him the marshmallow, giggling as the corners of his mouth are covered in sticky marshmallow.

‘You should clean up,’ she deadpans.

‘Well, you should help me, because because of you I look like this.’ He throws her over her shoulder and she screams out, before she starts laughing.

I walk up to the fireplace and scratch Kal—who only has one more kilo to go, before he is sixty kilos and he looks so much better now—behind his ear. ‘How much have you guys been feeding her?’ I jokingly ask.

‘Not much,’ Simon says. ‘Niki here ate everything.’

‘Well, now I feel like I’m throwing up, instead of Vanessa, so I feel like I took one for the team. Be a little more grateful.’

I crouch down next to Henry and Kal. ‘Is she being a bit nice or…?’’

‘She’s being an angel,’ Henry says with a smile, ‘as usual.’

‘You have raised an amazing young girl,’ Simon interferes. ‘I can’t believe she is real from time to time. I feel like we were monsters when we were her age.’

I blush. ‘Thank you, that’s very sweet.’

Marianne orders us to go to the dinner table and Simon and Niki quickly grab the marshmallow left overs and go to the kitchen. Henry pulls me up and presses a long kiss on my lips. ‘I love you, sweetheart,’ he says, ‘and I’m glad that you get to spend Christmas with us.’

‘I’m glad too,’ I say. ‘Thank you for having such a great family.’

He has a knowing look on his face and I know exactly what he is thinking, because like me, it’s the only thing on his mind.

‘We’ll talk about that later, mister Cavill,’ I whisper.

‘I’ll hold you to that.’ He grabs my hand and we walk to the dinner table.

‘Mommy, I’m going to sit with mister Colin, do you mind?’ Vanessa asks.

‘Sweetheart, I don’t mind. You can sit next to anyone you want to here.’

I take place next to Marianne, who sits at the head of the table. Henry takes places next to me and Marianne clears her throat, as she wants to say something first. ‘So, before we start to eat… Simon, where are your manners? Don’t touch the food.’

‘Mister Colin,’ Vanessa attempts to whisper, but fails miserably, ‘you shouldn’t touch your food either.’

I try to suppress a chuckle, but I can’t seem to exactly do that.

‘What I was going to say is that I want to thank Henry for overfeeding his poor dog and having the guts to ask Olivia out on a date. You have truly brought not one ray of sunshine in our home, but two and we, as an entire family, are so thankful that you did that.’

Henry’s hand find mine under the table and he says: ‘Thanks mom.’

‘And Olivia and Vanessa: we are truly grateful that you two are part of the Cavill household. It lacked females and now we are slowly catching up, very good. So, that’s all I wanted to say: thank you for being here.’

I hold her hand and say: ‘You sure have welcomed both Vanessa and me with open arms.’

‘You have, mrs. Marianne.’ Vanessa chuckles and Marianne practically orders us to eat it all, because she worked hard on it.

I can hear the conversations being picked up, but Marianne gets my attention and says: ‘Henry told me about how Vanessa calls him dad nowadays.’

I nod with a smile. ‘Yeah, she is a little hesitant to do it when other people are there, because she is afraid that they might correct her, but at home she does it all the time.’

‘I’m so happy for you.’ She looks at her son with a knowing look, one that I do not understand and says: ‘You did well, my dear.’

Henry chuckles. ‘I certainly did.’

We continue to talk about all sorts of things: the clinic, the story of how I met Henry (though they already know it, they just really like the part: “Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat”) and I listen to his brothers talking about work. I look to the side, to Henry, as he listens to Vanessa telling a story about how she kicked Gigi from her class, because Gigi was being mean to Tessie, Vanessa’s best friend.

I wrap my arm around his, mindlessly as I feel tears coming up. When Vanessa wraps up her story, I stand up and say: ‘Excuse me.’

Of course I could’ve expected Vanessa following me, because when I’m near the bathroom, I hear her tiny footsteps following me. ‘Mommy, are you okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ I say, as I turn around. ‘Why are you following me, sweetie?’

‘You look sad.’

‘I’m not sad,’ I say, pulling her with me as I sit on the floor, placing her securely on my lap. ‘I’m happy.’

‘Is it that happy tears thing again?’ she asks.

She is such an adorable little thing. ‘It is.’

‘Why?’

‘You know, sweetie, for years I have been wanting to find right family for you, but deep down, I wanted to be part of one too. You haven’t ever met my family, my mom, my dad, my brothers… But I have. They were part of my life for twenty three years and then they all of the sudden didn’t want me anymore, because I was pregnant with you. So for seven years now, I have been doing this by myself.’

‘While you wanted a family,’ she fills in.

I nod. ‘And now we have one. A big one and a family that makes not only you, but me feel happy and welcome. But that feeling… I haven’t had that is such a long time and it makes me a bit emotional.’

‘I understand,’ she says with a smile. ‘You are very sweet, mommy. You deserve it.’ Vanessa gives me a big hug and when I bury my face deep in her hair, I can’t help but let out a tiny sob. ‘Don’t cry,’ Vanessa says in the same voice I use when she is crying. She pats my hair and I hear Kal walking over to us. ‘Even Kal is here to comfort you.’

He licks my face and I chuckle. ‘Hi, big bear,’ I say to the dog, who sits next to us and now gives Vanessa a lick. ‘Thank you for comforting me, sweetie.’

‘You always comfort me, even before I could remember.’ She tilts her head and admits: ‘Yesterday I took your phone and looked at the pictures.’

‘What pictures?’

‘Of you being pregnant with me and the years after that,’ she tells me. ‘You are very pretty, but you are also a good mommy.’

‘Oh sweetheart,’ I say. ‘I might be a vet, but the most important job I have is being your mom and you know? I enjoy every single second of it.’

‘Even when I’m not being a nice girl?’

‘Even then,’ I say, ‘because that’s the funny thing. You could do anything, literally any thing and I would still love you like crazy and love being your mom. Am I happy that you are doing something you shouldn’t be doing? No, but that’s all part of it.’

‘So you think my real dad is an idiot?’

‘Oh yeah, I totally think so. He is the biggest idiot on earth, for leaving me when I found out I was pregnant with you. He is missing out on so many amazing stuff.’

Vanessa chuckles. ‘But now I have a dad who does love me.’

I nod. ‘You do and remember: sometimes sad stuff has to happen, before good stuff happens.’

‘You are right, like always.’ She gives me a kiss and asks: ‘Are you going to have another baby soon?’

‘What?’ I ask.

‘I mean, since Henry is my dad now, I feel like I should become a big sister soon.’

I chuckle. ‘Well, I want another baby, but not right now,’ I say to her. ‘Maybe a little later.’

Vanessa nods. ‘I understand, I think.’

‘But don’t go around and tell people that, okay? Can you keep this a secret? Between you, me and Henry?’

She nods. ‘I promise.’

‘There you are,’ Henry says, walking over to the three of us. ‘We were wondering what you two were up to.’

‘Mommy looked sad, so I followed her. She was doing the happy tears thing again.’

Henry slides down until he is on the floor as well and wraps an arm around my shoulders. ‘Why was she doing the happy tears thing again?’

‘Because we are here,’ Vanessa says, cuddling up against me. ‘Dad, are you happy that we are here?’

‘I am,’ he says. ‘So insanely happy.’

Vanessa nods, thinks about it for a second and says: ‘Do you want to wait for another baby?’

He nearly chokes and I hold back a laugh. ‘Sorry?’

‘Do you want to wait for another baby?’ she repeats her question. ‘Mommy wants to wait.’

‘Well,’ he says, ‘I’m with your mommy on that one.’

‘But you want one?’

‘In the future, I sure want one. Then I have two kids,’ he says with a chuckle. ‘That means double the hugs and kisses, right?’

Vanessa chuckles. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’ She gives both me and Henry a kiss and ushers Kal to walk with her, back to the table.

‘You okay?’ he asks, when we watched her going back to the dining table.

‘I am, it just seems to hit me a little different every time I realize I have a family now.’

He nods. ‘I know and I understand. I just hope that Vanessa keeps quiet about the whole baby thing for a while.’

‘She will,’ I say. ‘Guarantee.’

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #mister cavill your dog is kinda fat #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x Olivia Tran

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