#he doesnt mean any harm by it ofc. hes a kid! but it is something that he struggles with and its very important for dia to finally

[infizero]

THERE IT IS

[chuuyasfanboy]

Just had some random thoughts so pulled up an old blog I never used and am now deciding to write fics! I've had this stuck in my head for two days now but like- Skk as parents... enjoy <3

Wrote three sections! One with Chuuya, one with Dazai, and ofc them together. It can be read from either adopted or blood perspective, I hope? Kind of scattered, I was just goin for it guys

Iffff you liked this, please req something! I'm having major bsd brainrot and I need ideas...

Soukoku as Parents Platonic x Gn!Child!Reader

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The SILLIEST father EVER guys.

For actual years he was fully under the impression he HATED all kids with a passion. I mean guys look at how badly he treated Aku-

Well then he had you and things changed

It's just something about you being his kid, not a subordinate or random kid on the street

He's your dedicated apologist

In fact, he encourages your mischief!

When you were younger, it was a lot harder to handle you. He even found himself on his last fuse sometimes. Usually, he left Atsushi or Yosano to deal with you

He didn't want to revert to old habits and accidentally traumatize you :(

When he can handle himself, though, he's only halfway controlling you-

He's right along with you in the heinous activities half of the time

Hiding Ranpo's candy (for as long as it lasts), misplacing Kunikida's glasses, hell you two have probably snuck into the infirmary and changed the sheets to something very colorful and very childishly wolf themed...

He's not really a mature dad, nonono. But he's doing his best

He fully supports all of your wildest interests, even tries out some of the more entertaining ones

He struggles to act excited when you're younger and all your interests are very out of his range, but as you grow older he's actually a bit intrigued by them sometimes

Best birthday gift ideas, too. He's very creative when he wants to be.

He also has way more money than he should be ALLOWED to have

For your Sweet Sixteen, he most definitely got you an obsessively large custom pinata of your favorite character...

He makes sure EVERYBODY gets you gifts, because you are his world and thus you must be everybody else's as well

He really does try to keep you out of work, and especially away from his suicide biz

Maybe HE doesnt have a reason to live, but he certainly doesnt want you picking up those thoughts, because he knows you have a real big destiny to live up to someday

I mean, what would the world be without you?

When you hit the age of 13 though, its really hard to hide anything from you

You're so scary when you grow up! And you're way too smart!!4

Did you get that from him? oops...

Now, he doesnt have any plans of living that long, but if you do grow big and strong and smart one day, and you join the ADA, he's definitely got some favoritism.

Surprisingly, Fukuzawa actually gives you your first few proper missions with him

(Because he knows Dazai will not be letting any harm come to you, he trusts Dazai with his life and he knows you trust Dazai even more)

If you have different plans for adulthood though, he's still so supportive

If you go to uni, you're going to have to show him off

Why?

Because, guys, he's a dilf

Nobody's gonna be mean to the kid with a dilf father, they all want him

He jokes about it constantly

But rest assured, stupid and immature uni kids are NOT his type, no matter how nice the ones his age look

He's got his eyes set on that waitress and at least four other men at the moment

If you go straight into the workplace instead of uni, he's going to use his connections to get you a good job early!

Fukuzawa has a good way with words and Dazai himself is a pretty good reference contact

Just tell them he's your teacher, or something

It's not like they'll know his hobbies, he's wayyyy too big a mystery for that

Overall: 7/10 dad

A little rough around the edges, but he's trying hard to improve himself for you

And he's trying hard to give you the best life he can offer

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Did I say Dazai was a dilf?

I lied out of my ass.

Chuuya is the real dilf here

But we'll get to that later! (Just know he has plenty of men and women at his feet and they're definitely being way too nice to you because they want him so bad guys)

You're SO SO SO SO spoiled.

UNREASONABLY so

So bad you might even be a little bit of a brat growing up

It's fine, not toward him, he almost never says no to you so theres no need

There's absolutely no amount of money that can't be spent on you.

Luxury clothes, professionally cooked dinners, fancy rooms, home staff, the whole works

Despite all that though, he's insistent you go to a public/private school

He's not tutoring you, wont even hire one

It's not because he CAN'T, it's because he KNOWS how important it is for you to get your sense of independence early

Sure, you'll always have financial support, even if he dies (Trust fund babyyyyy)

But thats not what's actually important to your future

You need social skills, you need friends, you need and education and the taste of disappointment

Dont worry, though, he's not sending you unprepared

You're not eating school lunches unless you want to (but fuck why would you?)

He's sending you to school with top notch food every day

And clothes

And supplies

Plus, you'll have a tutor at the ready for anything you need a little extra help in

But for the most part he keeps as far as he can out of that section of your life

You friends are yours, not his

He's polite when they have sleepovers, and he's more than willing to host parties and hangouts

But he doesn't try too hard to impress them, and he doesn't talk to them unless its related to you

Because as much as he loves being around kids (a real big father he wants to adopt everybody he sees)

He doesn't want to impose on any boundaries YOU may have

As a side note though, he's still very observant of your relationships with them

If he overhears any manipulation, or shit talking (about you or not), he's not going to let it sit and exist

If it comes to it, he will contact the parents (And holy fuck they are TERRIFIED i mean imagine a publicly known MAFIA EXECUTIVE contacting you to tell your kid fucked with his ABSOLUTELY NOT GUYS)

If you're into any extracurriculars, he is ALWAYS there

Even if he's overseas on a mission, he has some lower rank attend and clears his schedule so he can watch through a call

Also guys, he practically funds your school?

Your teachers are terrified to cross you because if they do there will be NO SALARY

You complain about anything that happened? He's fixing it up in any way he can

You are his ANGEL, NOTHING will ruin your day as long as he can prevent it.

When you grow up, your options are very clear in his eyes

Either you go to uni and live independent of the mafia, or you inherit his spot when he dies

If you go for neither, he may be a bit shocked, but he'll hesitantly step back

He'll see how it goes, but he's not very confident at first

If it goes well? Fuck, great! He's always in your corner rooting for you

If it doesn't go so well, you always have him as a backup

He'll always be there to take you back with open arms and give you a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc chance. Always

If you do join the mafia, there will be no low rank experience for you

You're straight to the upper ranks. At first, you'll probably be in a position similar to Akutagawa under Dazai or how he was under Koyo

Direct subordinate, his apprentice, his prodigy

And when he dies, you're next in line for his exec spot

There's not even a worry about your skillset, he knows he's trained you well, ability or no ability.

Finally, back to the dilf topic I've mentioned at the beginning

If you go to uni, he has the same problem Dazai had, but WORSE

Fuck guys, he swears he tries to keep out of your friendships, but suddenly everyone's adults and they wont leave him alone.

It's at this point he stops hosting your events (except birthdays) and separates himself

No way is he getting involved with crazy college kids, no way

Overall: 9/10 father

He's a bit absent in your social circle, but he's your dad and thats that

He screams support from the stands and that's really the best you can ask for in a dad <3

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theyre so pathetic together-

theyre all the entertainment you need growing up

constant bickering (lovingly)

they dont involve you in all that

it comes with them both being in seperate factions, but they BOTH work very hard to keep you out of the professional lives

you're their kid, they dont want you in any of the doublesided danger that could get you in

you're probably a secret to everyone except the ADA and the other mafia

And your existence is on a need-to-know basis for everybody else

Dazai is the more present figure in your life, simply because Chuuya has to be a bit more distant

It's the nature of his line of work, anyone he's seen with is a target, and he doesn't want that to be you

He will be at your schooling events still, though. He will be YELLING AND SHOUTING in the stands

Into sports? Every time theres an unfair play he will cuss the living daylights out of the ref

And they just have to let him because theres nothing they can really do about

Dazais the same way, but with less scare factor and way less vigor

After games, he's going to complain WITH you about how lame the whole thing was if you lost, how everything was judged unfairly

They may not get along the best together, but they love each other and especially love you, so they're improving for you

Read: Chuuya is making them improve for you

Dazai thinks hes the victim in all this!

But oh well, if Chuuya makes him apologize when they argue in front of you, he will

When you're all grown up, they both encourage you to find your own path

You've got the chance, thanks to them, and they dont want you involved in their little wars

It's not like you can join any sides, because who would want to be against your dad :(

So really your only choice is moving out, maybe even away-

If you really do want into their business, they both insist you join the ADA

It's safer there for you, and Chuuya would rather have to order his men to not under any circumstances EVER hurt you, than have to watch someone he can't control put you in danger

Plus, he knows Dazai will keep you in the safest position possible

Overall: 7/10 together

They're a nightmare at dinner, and Dazai is sleeping on the couch almost every night

But they adore you and every move you make, so there's no way you're feeling unloved at all

[fictionfixations]

birthday bloom kalim

notice how much more azul speaks then kalim, cause azul's all flatter-y and like. the type to ig do ill deeds by walking circles around his prey and striking when they dont expect it (as in slipping in little things here and there that could make it harder to notice for example)

but kalims all honest and more to the point, so he doesnt need as many words to get there

oof

💀 kailm. sweetie...

admittedly i feel like his upbringing of basically being spoiled and kept as happy as can be from any stresses (as in yknow always being first in stuff and doing what he wants- remember that mention of kalim finding jamil during his break cause he asked the security guys to like idfk see th camera footage? or like. to find jamil. like. i mean. he was a kid but also that kind of screams of abuse of authority, but to be fair kalim was under the impression that jamil was his friend and would have no reason to think that jamil wouldnt want to play with him as much as kalim does. you see? because he's been able to see the world through sunshine and rainbows [in comparison to jamil being faced with the harsh reality and meant to be 'mature' enough to know what hes meant to do] it means he misses these cues, that he can be so oblivious to harmful intent. or like. being so positive that it could almost blind him? like

he wants to do his best to stay alive because. remember he mentioned that one time how 'what if [his poisoner i think] had a change of heart? it wouldnt mean anything if he was dead by then'. but thats under the assumption that theres. well. to put it bluntly, good in them and that they would act on it. i really dont know how to word it in a better way.

and. its not that its bad to view things in a hopeful way, its just that too much of it can be harmful.) only does him more harm

cause like. hows he gonna survive on his own? and i mean there might not be a situation like that. but like. by them raising him like that, it means that he doesn't know how to take care of himself.

and while he has servants and everything... im of the opinion that it would've been better to raise him self-sufficient. i mean spoil him as a kid ofc precious bby but also make it clear that he should also kinda be able to depend on himself too? like. like listen

make it clear that while he can trust other people, that they can also betray him. and i get that that creates trust issues, and also idk he probably already knows this in canon (its just that he wants to believe that they can change. and also because it just never occurred to him that jamil could turn on him since hes always been there)

cause. we know his other asim relatives have tried to hurt him. or well. maybe it was only mentioned in kalims' labwear vignette? i thinki it was that one.

so like. understanding that, and then giving him the skills to be able to manage on his own when needed to. not having to rely on other people all the time. cause i mean. well. this isn't the greatest lesson to teach but its like. the only one you can fully trust is yourself??

and i mean yeah he cares for himself (because so many bad things could happen if he died. or others could get hurt/punished because he died.) but it genuinely feels like hes only doing it for others and not for himself

maybe im puliing all of this out of my ass

but im STILL not over kalim talking about how frustrating/annoying it was to know that kalim only won because of jamil. that it was because jamil held back (also in relation to the truth of him always being chosen being broken, because it wasnt true at all. which i mean, if theres something that gets established in your head as what the truth is, finding that it isnt true at all is.. a lot. like. idk. that parents arent invincible, that they're human too.)

and then grim shoots him down with 'i didnt even get picked [to peform]! how do you think I feel?'

and kalim immediately apologizes. like

i swear this is like one of the only times i feel like kalims ever been outside of his happy 'im here for you if you need me' thing

or like one of the only times hes expressed his feelings (and probably knowing he's privileged, so not wanting to express his issues because he knows so many people have it worse than him ?)

and in all honesty. if he ever gets feelings talk about himself in book 4. i forgot a lot of it. and i think it mightve been partially because i knew the twist in advance so it just hurt me going through it knowing that they were wrong of who they suspected so. yeah.

uhmm. as you can see. i have a lot of thoughts about kalim. haha oops

[pfandghoul]

what the sokovia accords really are

a quick study bc what the fuck guys

(copied from the mcu wiki entry about the accords - all of it and not just parts of it)

here goes:

The currently known regulations established by the Sokovia Accords include:

Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.

- Any who AGREE to sign. I dont think this is asking too much. If ur working for a government agency, if ur using force in any way during ur work, I think its fair to ask you to give them biometric data. And if its only so in case there is an investigation afterwards (which their always should be imo) its clear distinguishable who was where and did what.

- Also, what if someone suddenly decides "something happened, im changing sides, imma take revenge" (no matter if its a concious decision or brainwashing 👀)? Would probably be good to have some data and perhaps be able to track them. If its managable or not- hm. But theres no harm in giving that data if ur only goal is working towards a safer world.

-----

Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations.

- Oh nooo, no unknown vigilantes that might make mistakes while fighting on their own and then cant be held accountable? No one is perfect, OF COURSE, but from a realistic pov I wouldnt feel safe with someone running around fighting whoever-

And I know we love the romantic comic fantasy of "everybody can be a hero", and I swear I love it as much as you! But imagine ur just a normal person while spiderman is swinging above ur head- or even imagine ur spiderman- and then one tiny thing wents wrong. The normal person is crushed, dead or paralysed- Spiderman is in shock because that was Not supposed to happen and he is so so sorry!- But what now?

- If enhanced people were to work under an organisation (that is ideally not as shady and riddled with Hydra as Shield was) then those incidents would be covered. Yes it would still be terrible but Spiderman would get mandatory therapy session to work through it and the normal person... well if theyre dead then i guess the organisation would at least pay for the funeral and compensate the family (like if they were the only one providing for partner and kids), additionally a conversation between both partys if possible.

-Basically: nothing can be swept under the rug. The enhanced people can be protected!!! PLUS they only have to reveal their identity to the UN and not the world.

---------

Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks.

- This would benefit the person with power too, you realize that, dont you?

You cant possibly know how much power you actually have. Is there gonna be another level-up for you? Are you Jean Grey? We wouldnt want to repeat that specific clusterfuck, right?

But if you submit to an analysis it can help find ways to train you, circle ur weaknesses, etc.

Yes the UN would know ur threat level- and that would be bad why? Are you planning to attack Them? If not then no problem. Instead they would know if they should send you in or not- depending... you dont need a level 5 when there is a cat in a tree. We want to avoid unnecessary damage, thank you. If ur a level 1 you also dont want to be on the front lines against an alien invasion for example- better help evacuate non-powered individuals and not die immediately.

- Also worth mentioning: this is all still part of the "if you agree to sign" paragraph

-------

Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times.

- Yes I admit this one sucks. I could argue the pros but I dont really want to because this one is literally just a "we want to control you" rule and should be scratched.

------- (new paragraph in the accords)----

Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own, unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government or by a United Nations subcommittee.

- I really want to think I dont have to say anything here but I feel I do.

No I do not want a guy wearing an american flag running around in my country if my government didnt explicitely allow it. Same for a giant tin man or a creepy spiderlady.

- If anything then this paragraph would help improve the communication between countries. Yes people fear that in emergencies this will all take too long but 1) thats not the Accords fault and 2) I think we already have situations like this irl and most times it does work.

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Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders, unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

- Same reasoning. I really really dont want Shield around with their shady everything.

- And always needing consent before weaking havoc in other countries? nice

--------(new paragraph)-----

Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.

- Basically if you dont sign up then you cant be a super-cop. Groundbreaking.

(This is very much explained in the first paragraph already.)

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As a corollary, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such as S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

- s a m e t h i n g

--------(new paragraph)-----

Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.

If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.

- Cancel the without trial part and then Id say its just. This way it stinks and I feel Ross had his hands in this. No, I am not defending this one. Its Not Okay.

------(new paragraph)-------

The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities is strictly regulated, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry).

- You cant just experient and turn urself into the Hulk anymore??? Where is the fun in that?? //sarcasm//

- I dont need to go deeper into this, do I?

-------

The creation of self-aware artificial intelligences is completely prohibited.

- Here comes a problem. For Tony mostly.

- I can think of a few reasons for this but I dont think many people are even capable of doing this. I think it would bd enough to file a request if you want to try and build an AI.

--------(new paragraph)----

The Avengers will no longer be a private organization and will operate under the supervision of the United Nations.

- See.. all of the above on why this is a good thing?

- The Avengers as a private organisation is actually a super scary thought. And if you arent at least a little freaked out about this (all from the point of looking at this as if it were real) then idk what to tell you.

---------(new paragraph)-------

For the purposes of the Accords, an "enhanced individual" is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities. This includes individuals whose powers are an innate function of their biology as well as individuals who utilize highly advanced technology to grant themselves superhuman capabilities. However, individuals with advanced prostheses do not seem to be considered "enhanced", even if their prostheses give them capabilities beyond those of ordinary humans. 

- Basically just explaining what they mean by "enhanced individual": people with powers. Doesnt matter if you are born with ur power or built urself a supersuit.

-If you got leg protheses that are super bouncy you arent considered an "enhanced individual" (to put it as simple as possible).

-----

All members of the Avengers are subject to the same conditions as enhanced individuals, even if they are not enhanced themselves: Black Widow was required to sign so she could continue serving on the Avengers, and Hawkeye was incarcerated on the Raft after violating the Accords.

- I think this is fair because if you consider urself an Avenger and fight with them then you also should be held accountable.

- You wouldnt want a Someone to work in super-person capacity which both gives a great deal of responsibility and allows a high chance of fuck ups and destruction without them having any regulations, okay?

AND THATS ALL THERE IS

THATS ALL THE MCU WIKI SAYS THERE IS

Which is ofc bullshit because the Accords were thick and 117 countries worked on them for idk how long. Do you understand what that takes? The compromises and politic battles thats been fought over this document?

And yes it is still not perfect.

But who in the seven Hells said that this was the final draft? Who??

"I dont wanna sign away my freedom of choice" F you! What about my freedom of choice of having some costumed weirdos run around my town blowing stuff up killing people?

"We cant save everyone" yEAH but maybe just mAyBe if you werent a dumb cunt then mayyybe with some teamwork with the countries respective secrurity personell (as every fucking country does have) then maybe Kyle, Maria and Dembe would still be alive?? Who knows.

So what I hear is "I dont wanna give up my freedom and continue to do as I see fit. Because I think I am a better judge than a UN committee and 117 governments that dont want me breaking into their countries on a semi-regular basis."

and thats why im generally pro-Accords :)

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Qi Flows for Her

Chapter Five

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes  |  Word Count: 5112 Warnings: Language, angst

Celine made sure she was last onto the jet where she took Bucky’s previous seat in the back, darkened corner, as far away from the others as she could get. She snapped the hair band wrapped around her wrist, using the physical pain to remind herself to breathe. Her hair hung forward, hiding her face. Back to the straight, dark brown of before, she listened as they murmured about the rest of what they found and looked after Peter who had been knocked out for his own good.

God… that had hurt like rejection hadn’t hurt in years.

Hunched over, she leaned her face against the wall, the metal cool against her skin. A tear worked its way down her cheek. She’d known this was going to happen, had been saying so since the beginning. Yet, she’d still chanced to hope this time would be different. This time someone would see her for who she truly was and not react with fear.

Why do I bother to hope? She snapped the elastic at her wrist again.

“Celine…” The whisper of Charles' voice only made her flinch.

“Go away, Charles…”

“Darling, I can feel your pain.”

“Pain you have a part in instigating. Go away, Charles!”

“Celine… please…”

She sighed. “What did you expect? That I’d come here, reveal myself, and everything would be tea and crumpets? Go… the fuck… away!” She gave a mighty push and slammed her shields closed.

Her inner demons were relentless after. The voices of hate and disgust hissed and wailed in her head. The self-loathing caused her to wrap her hands around her middle. She was an abomination. A freak. A thing to be feared and despised. No one wanted her. No one would care if she just walked away.

Disappeared.

Died.

The phone in her pocket vibrated.

She ignored it.

It continued to go off for the next fifteen minutes straight, becoming an annoying vibration against her thigh until she finally dug it free. “What?” she sighed, expecting Charles.

“Little girl, next time you pick the fuckin’ phone up on the first ring!” The snarling voice of Logan had her lip twitching.

“Yes, papa,” she sassed.

“What the fuck happened, Celine?” he demanded.

Sighing, she glanced through her hair at the others speaking quietly away from her. “Can’t, Logan. Not now.”

“You’re on the plane?”

“Yeah.”

“Did they hurt you?” he snarled.

“No.”

“Not physically, you mean. Dammit, Charles! I told you sending her was a bad idea!”

It almost made her smile. The Wolverine was highly protective of those he called family. “I’m a big girl, Logan,” she murmured. “I tie my own shoes and everything. I’ll be fine.”

He huffed a dismissive bark of sound. “You ain’t fine! I can tell you ain’t fine! Do I need to come kick around a few super soldiers again? Cause I fuckin’ will!”

“The way I heard it, it sounded like a draw, though Steve said you’re a heavy son of a gun.”

“He’s one to talk,” Logan grumbled.

Leaning her head back against the wall, Celine smiled slightly. “Put up a bit of a fight, did he?”

He snorted. “Decent enough.”

“Good. You were getting full of yourself again.”

“Tricky little witch,” he scoffed. Silence descended for a few seconds before he murmured, “Celine… you can come home. I can replace you if you want.”

She wiped the tear from her cheek. “Nope. Charles sent me. I’m staying until they kick me out.” No matter how much it hurt.

“Look, if you’re doing this to punish Charles cause you’re pissed, then don’t. He’s already hurt you shut him out.”

This time she snorted. “He deserved it.”

“Yeah, probably,” he chuckled. “Take care of yourself, darlin’. And if you need me?”

“I’ll let you know, Logan. Tell Rogue I miss her.”

He grunted just before the line going dead.

She stuffed the phone back in her pocket and returned to her silent reflection, feeling only slightly better.

When the jet landed what felt like hours later, she was down the ramp and into the tower as if the hounds of hell were nipping her heels. To her mind, it wasn't far from the truth.

***

Steve and Bucky watched her go, neither knowing how to fix what they’d wrought.

Peter was alright, the bullet nothing more than a flesh wound, but the way the boy had reacted to her… they’d quite literally watched her heart break.

She was far more powerful than they’d realized. So much so, she’d plucked a soldier off the mountain and ate him before throwing something, likely his soul, into... hell? The underworld? Somewhere else? They had no idea.

Were they a little disconcerted? Sure. Who wouldn’t the hell be? But were they scared of her? No. The shock had kept them mute though, something they now realized had done a lot of harm.

She’d sat, huddled and silent in the corner, gradually curling in on herself, getting smaller with each passing moment until her phone had rung.

Steve had been about to go over and force her to answer when she’d finally dug it free on her own.

The irate voice of Logan was one he’d never forget, and he’d exchanged an eye roll with Bucky. He was a gruff son of a gun, but intensely loyal and protective, especially of Charles. Clearly, that protection extended to Celine.

Logan’s accusation, the comment about hurting her, had caused both of them to stiffen in offence. Her denial and his rewording had jabbed them both firmly with guilt.

Logan was right. They hadn’t hurt her physically. Emotionally? In her heart?

Yes.

“Shit,” Steve hissed softly once the others had exited.

“More like fuck, punk. We screwed up.” Bucky sighed, making his way toward Celine’s seat where he crouched down and swiped his fingers through the dark droplets on the floor. “She’s been bleeding.”

“What?” Steve jolted, coming quickly to Buck’s side.

“Yeah. We should check on her.”

“Pretty sure she doesn’t want to see us, pal.”

“So? We fucked up. We should fix it before it gets worse.” Bucky got to his feet and headed for the doors.

They walked in silence, both feeling intensely guilty.

She'd done some incredible things tonight, but they hadn’t told her so. Had her force been a little excessive? Sure, but seeing Peter take a bullet had Steve longing to hit the asshole sniper with his shield, so he understood how upset Celine must have been.

When Natasha stepped into the corridor, blocking them from getting on the elevator,  Steve heard Bucky sigh and tried not to echo it.

“Need something, Nat?” Steve asked.

“I hope you get it now. You'll send her on her way?”

Steve frowned and shook his head. “Why? Celine’s part of this team.”

“Really!” she snapped. “After seeing what she did? What she is?”

“What I saw was a powerful woman who was treated like a freak tonight by her own team. Me included. She's still a person. Still Celine. Her powers don't make her anything different.”

“Shit! You've got a hard-on for her too! I knew Barnes was balls deep, but I expected better of you, Cap.”

Bucky’s hand wrapped around her throat and slammed her into the wall. “You're pushing the line, Natalia,” he snarled softly. “Celine may be Styx, she may be ridiculously powerful, but she's bruised, broken, and your snide comments aren't doing anyone any good!”

“She’ll destroy this team!”

“You said the same thing of me when Steve brought me in. The ghost. The Winter Soldier. The HYDRA weapon. Fuck you, Nat! She's no different!”

She blinked at him, stunned. “She's completely different! Did you not watch her kill a man tonight by eating his life force? Was that simply my imagination?”

“And I kill people with a gun or a knife. So what?”

“You're not about to take us all out in our sleep!”

“But I could if I wanted to!” he roared. “So could you, goddamnit, but you don't see any of us trying to shove you out the door!”

Laying a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, Steve urged his friend to let Natasha go. Once he had, Steve rounded on her himself. “You've taken issue with Celine since the moment she arrived. What's the beef, Nat? What's the real problem here?”

“This is the real issue! You're both so blinded by the hot new piece of ass; you can't see the danger she presents.”

“And me, Natasha? Am I also blinded by a hot piece of ass?” Wanda asked, appearing behind them. She looked at him, and Steve felt a clutch around his heart. The red wash of power in her eyes showed how disconcerted she was feeling. “But then, I am also one to be feared, to be treated like a freak. To be caged and collared because of what I am. What Hydra made me.”

“Wanda, no… I…” Natasha shook her head. “You're different.”

“How?” she asked coming closer. “I use similar powers. I can kill nearly as easily. You also locked me up to keep me away from people because I was a danger to society. Because you didn't trust me. Celine has shown me nothing but kindness after I have proved myself untrustworthy three times,” her voice rasped with self-hatred. “I keep telling myself, I cannot control other people's fear, only my own. Tonight… I failed at both.”

She walked away, and Steve's heart cracked. It appeared many of them were regretting what happened tonight.

“Celine is part of this team. She stays part of this team,” Steve said with finality.

“Fine. But my working with her comes as a last resort. I don't trust her to have my back.” Nat spun and headed away from where Wanda had gone.

Bucky waited only until she was out of earshot before muttering, “I'm not sure I trust you'll have hers.”

“Buck,” Steve sighed.

“I ain't ever seen her like this, Steve. She's been confrontational and just…”

“Nasty,” Sam muttered, wandering down the hall. “I'll go talk to her.”

“You alright with what happened tonight?” Steve asked.

“Alright?” He took a deep breath, eyes widening as he shrugged. “Not sure I’d say alright. Am I gonna throw a hissy fit? Nah. I kinda think Scott’s got the right idea. Better with us than against us.” He patted Steve's shoulder. “Am I gonna think twice about pissing her off? Hell yeah!” Chuckling, Sam continued on after Natasha.

“That's four,” Bucky murmured, a smirk twitching his lip. “Let's go poke the bear, see if she'll forgive us.”

“I think you mean the dragon. Damn that was cool,” Steve grinned.

“Now you sound like Parker.” Bucky’s face fell as they got on the elevator. “You think the kid will come round?”

Steve sighed. “Hope so.”

She’d been so happy spending time with Peter. Having the kid look at her in fear had just killed her.

When they stepped off the elevator, they had the answer hit them full force.

“Celine! Please!” Peter was standing outside her room, one hand pressed to his ribs, the other banging on her door. “I'm sorry! Let me explain!”

“Peter? Shouldn't you be in the med wing?” Steve asked sternly.

The kid shook his head. “Not until I apologize. Not until I tell her how sorry…” Pain took his breath, not all of it physical.

“Okay, kid.” Taking Peter by the elbow, Steve held him up. “How long you been here?” he asked.

Seeing as how the kid was still in his suit, he doubted Parker had even been to see Bruce, or if he had, the kid had snuck out.

“A while,” Peter mumbled.

“And she hasn't answered?”

Peter shook his head.

“FRIDAY located Celine.”

“Celine is on the roof. Captain? It appears she's is quite distraught. She is standing on the roof ledge.”

“What?!” Three voices bellowed before all of them scrambled for the elevator. It took them to the glassed-in common room where they barreled out the door to hit the exterior stairs which would take them to the roof.

Steve grabbed Peter's shoulder. “Are you alright to go around? If something goes sideways…” He didn't need to say Peter was the only one capable of catching Celine.

“I'm good, Cap!” Peter turned to go.

Steve dragged him back. “You stay out of sight. Let us talk to her before you do anything; you get me?”

“Yes, sir!” Peter nodded.

“Go.” He gave the kid a small shove and sprinted up the stairs after Bucky. His heart stuttered when she came into view.

Hair blowing back in the wind, balanced on the balls of her feet, she stood, hands relaxed at her sides, staring out over the city.

“Celine?” Bucky called quietly.

“Doll, you want to come down from there?” Steve asked, both of them edging closer.

Her head turned only enough to show them her profile. The tear streaks were impossible to miss. “Not particularly, Captain. I like the view.”

“Sweetheart, we'd really like it if you came down from there,” Bucky muttered, moving slowly forward.

“I am not your sweetheart, Sergeant. I am not your doll, your baby, your darlin’. I am Celine. I am… a vampire. I am Styx. And I am always to be feared.” She turned to walk the narrow edge of the building.

“Celine, please come down.” Steve would beg if he had to.

She paused, looked at him, and sighed. “You believe I do this, walk this ledge because I wish to hurt myself?” A snort of derision escaped her. “I wish to clear my mind, nothing more.” She turned back to face the city, turning her back on them. “I have no wish for company, especially from those who see me as something to be despised.”

Striding forward, Bucky reached for her arm only to have her dance out of his reach. “Celine!”

“What, Sergeant? Are you here to look at me with fear again? Are you going to tell me to leave? Explain how I am too much a freak to be part of the Avengers?” Night seemed to flow into her, swirl around her. It darkened her hair and brightened her eyes. She stepped backward, crouched, and snarled like an angry animal. “Then you tell me now to go, and I will pack my things!”

“No, Celine,” Steve said, holding up his hands. He approached with caution like he would a wounded creature. “Yes, you surprised us with what you did, maybe even spooked us at first, but we're not afraid of you.”

“Yes, you were!” she almost howled. “And after you said…” She shook her head. “I knew you would fear me. Everyone fears me. I should never have hoped for anything different.”

The words were so soft they could barely hear them, but they hit harder than the Hulk.

Bucky walked toward her, hands raised. “Read me, my aura, my emotions. I’m not afraid of you, Celine. Steve’s not afraid. Sam’s not afraid. Peter isn’t afraid. Wanda isn’t afraid. Come down. Talk to us. Let us show you.” He held out his hand.

“No… no, you lie!” She gave a violent shake of her head. “I won't look! I won't! I can't take anymore! Why are you so cruel?”

Peter landed on the ledge a few feet away. “Celine, I am so sorry.”

She whipped to face him, and Bucky lunged.

His arms closed around her, dragged her from the edge and back to the center of the roof. Expecting a struggle, he held her tightly, but she only sagged, eyes wide and staring at Peter.

The curl smoothed from her hair, the colour lightened. Her eyes lost their glow, and her face fell. Instead of struggling, she turned into Bucky, turned away from Peter, as a distressed cry escaped her lips.

“No, no… you were afraid. I made you afraid. You wouldn’t… let me help…” she moaned, clinging to Bucky.

This time it was the devastation on Peter’s face which broke Steve’s heart. “Celine, doll face Peter’s sorry. He, like us, didn’t mean to hurt you. But you were pretty impressive tonight. More than we’d expected. Read us. See for yourself. It's not a joke.”

“Promise,” Bucky murmured and stroked her arm. “No one's gonna be cruel, darlin’. Give us a chance.”

She bit her lip and looked between the two of them. Such pain shadowed her eyes Steve's heart felt like it tore open for her and whatever trauma had forced her to this point, to where she felt the need to wall herself off from everyone.

A moment passed before her amber eyes filled with relief and she sagged against Bucky. “Oh…” the word flew free on a heavy exhale.

“Can you forgive us, baby?” Steve threaded his fingers through her hair, gently pulling her head back so he could see her eyes.

They were wet, as was her face, so he wiped her cheeks dry. A breath shuddered from her, and she gave a slow nod. She looked as shocked, possibly as stunned as he and Bucky had been when she’d thrown a dragon into the sky and plucked a man off the mountain.

“I thought your dragon was incredible, Celine,” Steve said softly.

“And the way you dealt with the guards on the gate, and the people at the warehouse… amazing,” Bucky smiled.

“You were really spectacular, Celine. I'm… sorry I hurt your feelings,” said Peter, coming closer. “You did… kinda startle me, what with you havin’ just, like, eaten a dude. I promise it won't make me spaz out on you next time.”

“Peter,” she whispered, hands tight to her chest.

“Hug?” he asked, holding out the one arm. The other remaining pressed to his wound.

Bucky let her go, but Celine was hesitant to reach out until Parker gave an exasperated sigh and simply dragged her in via a shot of webbing and hugged her.

“You wanna fix me now?” Peter asked. “That is if it's still okay?”

She nodded a small jerk of her head before placing her green glowing fingers on his side.

His eyes widened in surprise when the pain disappeared. “Wow. Celine, you're so awesome!” He laughed as he lifted her off her feet and swung her around.

“Peter!” she squealed in surprise.

Chuckling, he dropped her to her feet and hugged her tight with both arms. “Thanks, doll,” he drawled, bussing her a kiss to the cheek - bold little shit-eating grin on his face - and darted away. “I'll check-in with Bruce. See ya tomorrow!”

She pressed her fingers to her cheek, eyes full of tears, but a smile was twitching her lips. Turning to face them, her smile broke free. “You people are so messed up.”

Bucky grinned while Steve laughed.

“Maybe it's your previous fri-uh-colleagues who were messed up,” Steve said with a sheepish grin.

“Yeah, darlin’,” Bucky smirked, “You just needed a couple’a old guys and a kid to see you for who you really are.”

“Speak for yourself, pal. I ain't old,” Steve snorted.

“Maybe being in the ice that long just froze your self-preservation brain cells,” Celine quipped.

“Then what's Peter’s excuse?” Bucky asked.

“Young and foolish,” she scoffed. “He doesn't know any better.”

Steve shook his head and held out his hand. “C’mon. You were bleeding on the jet. Let’s see it.”

She arched a brow in wry condemnation. “After the last few days, do you honestly think I cannot fix myself?”

He arched one in return, shook his hand and said, “Just give!” It was a fair imitation of what she’d done the day they’d met, causing Bucky to burst out laughing.

Rolling her eyes, Celine stalked forward to hold her hand out palm up. “There, you see? Perfectly fine.”

Steve frowned as he traced his fingers over her palm. “What did you…” he started to ask when it dawned on him what she’d likely done to herself. “Celine…” Heart hurting, guilt filled him for what she’d gone through, those talons of hers digging into her flesh with her anguish. “I am sorry.”

Her eyes softened. “I know, Steve.”

Bucky collected her opposite hand, sighing quietly as he stared at her unmarked flesh. “I promised you I wouldn’t feel any differently and at the first opportunity to prove it, I fucked it up.”

She gave her own sigh, released their hands, and patted both chests. “You are good men, but you are only human. I am,” she shook her head and turned away, “not.”

Steve went after her, grabbing her by the elbow to drag her back against his chest. “You are as human as the two of us. Powerful you may be, but you’re still human, Celine.”

Her eyes brightened, and her hair curled. “I am not. Human’s do not feed off other humans.”

“Your mutation only makes you different, Celine. It doesn’t make you less human.” Bucky’s hand curled around the back of her neck.

Trapped between the two of them again, Steve couldn’t help but notice the heat she radiated like a furnace. People always commented on how hot he or Bucky ran, but Celine seemed to nearly double their temperature. Cupping her chin, he tilted her face up, so her diamond-bright eyes shone for him to see. “You aren’t a freak. You’re an Avenger. We’re all a little… abnormal.” He couldn’t understand how she could’ve grown up in a place like Xavier’s school and view herself so differently from the other mutants. If anything, it should have been a place she fit into fairly well.

“I believe I’m a lot abnormal, Steve,” she chuckled, the curl of her hair growing more prominent as her eyes drifted down to his lips.

Bucky’s hand went from her nape to her throat, pressing up beneath Steve’s to tilt her head back onto his shoulder. “You ain’t the one with the vibranium arm,” he said, smirk growing.

Her eyes watched his lips as well before her tongue darted out, moistening hers.

Steve had never wanted to kiss a woman as badly as he did Celine in that instant. The desire he was trying to contain roared into life.

It sent her eyes darting back to his. They blazed bright, burned into him, filled with distress and sent her jerking away from them both. “Sorry! Sorry. That’s my bad… ha, I should go.” She darted away, down the stairs before either of them could move to stop her.

Groaning, Steve thrust his hand through his hair. “Fuck!”

“No shit,” Bucky muttered, trying to adjust his pants without being overly obvious.

“What the hell keeps happening here?” Steve grumbled.

Sighing, Bucky shook his head. “I don’t know, punk, but…” a wash of red filled his cheeks, “I… kind of like it.”

“What?” he gasped, jerking his head up to look at Bucky.

The metal-armed soldier shrugged. “Feels… good having her between us. I don’t know. She just… fits.”

“Bucky…” Steve shook his head.

“I know, I know. Can’t seduce a recruit,” he huffed. “But Steve, you can’t tell me you don’t feel it. We ain’t talked about it, keep pushin’ it to the side, but we can’t fight what we’re feeling.”

“She won’t even be a friend, Buck. Besides, you just watched her rabbit when she got a hint of something off me. I’m not going to put that pressure on Celine.” Steve stalked toward the stairs. “I don’t even know what the hell is happening! Every time it's just us, you, me, her, it’s….”

“Intense sexual heat?” Bucky chuckled.

“Laugh it up, jackass,” Steve grumbled.

“I’m serious!” he scoffed. Grabbing Steve’s arm, Bucky forced him to stop. “I’m asking this in all seriousness, if she chose me over you, would you be okay with it?”

“Bucky… I… Why are you even going there?”

“It’s a hypothetical, Steve. Just answer the fucking question.”

“I’d have to be, wouldn’t I?”

“But you’d hate it, right?”

Jerking his arm away, Steve snapped, “Yes, damn it! I’d hate it!” and stormed down the stairs.

Bucky simply jumped over the rail to land in front of him. “I’d be the same way!”

Coming to a stop, Steve’s eyes closed in pain. “I know, Buck. I can’t be your rival. I won’t be. I don’t have it in me to go against you, and you know it.”

“Stevie.” Bucky’s hands closed over his shoulders, gripped tight, shook him a little. “You think I could?”

When he looked up, Bucky’s eyes were bright with emotion. The smack which came to Steve’s cheek was anything but light, yet it was full of affection, even as it stung something fierce.  

“You’re my brother, Steve. I wouldn’t ever do that to you. I love you, pal, and we’ve been through too much hell to fight over a girl, even a dame as amazing as Celine. Whatever comes, we’ll figure it out. Besides, she’s skittish as a baby deer,” he sighed. “Doubt it will go anywhere for either of us.”

Both sighed unhappily and continued inside.

***

A little panicked, Celine made her way back to her room, thankful she avoided seeing anyone else. Riding in the elevator, she allowed herself a small amount of hysterical laughter for, sure enough, she’d found herself sandwiched happily - and hornily - between the two soldiers again. Her nature had taken over thanks to her overactive libido, and she’d drawn them in.

And it had felt… good. Too good.

The spike in Steve’s chi had nearly made her moan and beg for a taste. The Captain was potent!

Bucky, too, though slightly more in control, his arousal had shivered through her. It was subtle, like the nip in the air which preceded a snowstorm but it was still delectable.

So intent was she on the near taste she’d had, something she really should be berating herself for, Celine did not notice the aura waiting in her room until her hand was on the doorknob. Steeling her spine, she slowly pushed her door inward.

The lights were on, the one sitting on her couch doing nothing to hide her presence. Natasha smirked smugly at her.

“I do not remember inviting you to my room,” Celine said cautiously, remaining in the doorway.

“You didn’t. Come in, shut the door, and sit down.”

Brow arching, Celine snorted. “I think I will stay where I am.”

Anger flared in her aura before Natasha smoothed it away. “I think… Adeline, you will want to do what I say.”

The use of her real name was so rare, Celine momentarily froze. Closing the door, she moved toward Natasha, growing angrier by the second. “So, you have found my birth name. What of it?”

Picking up a tablet, Nat read, “Born Adeline Evans to one Tammy Evans, drug addict junky, and alcoholic absentee father, Marcus Evans. Ran away from home at thirteen, wanted for questioning in the death of one Franklin Delacore after he was found dead on the floor of your bedroom.”

She refused to flinch, only sat in an armchair and crossed her legs. There was nothing there. Charles had seen to the reports, the heart attack the man had had was ruled as an accident. Her mother’s drugged up ravings were nothing more than the ramblings of a woman out of her mind.

“Lived on the street, it seems from the age of thirteen until fifteen.” Here Nat looked up. “Wouldn’t it be interesting if the police were informed of the mutant Styx whose MO perfectly fits the two cold cases they have from way back when Adeline was a teenage runaway.”

“What do you want, Natasha?” Celine asked, without a hint any of what she’d said had been true.

“Oh, I’m not done yet,” she fairly purred. “There’s also the information about poor Thomas and Jacob. Nasty business that. It really would be a travesty if the new team found out what you’d done to your old team. To your friends.”

“What do you want, Natasha?” Celine asked a second time.

“What I want is for you to leave and never come back, but we can’t always get what we want, so how about what I need?”

Tired of these games, Celine snapped, “Just spit it out, Widow!” Hair curling, nails lengthening, she dug her talons into the cushioned arms of her chair.

Natasha stiffened her entire countenance sharpening. “I’ve safeguards in place, Styx, so think twice about hurting me. Anything happens to me here, or on a mission, you're a part of… all this information goes public.” She smiled, a predatory baring of teeth. “It would be a pity if the Professor's involvement in all your messes came to light.”

The cold weight of fear wrapped around Celine’s heart. “Get to the point, Natasha.”

“I see how you look at them you know. Steve and Bucky. They’re too blinded by the pretty girl to see the monster you really are. You're going to stay away from them; you're going to stay away from all my friends. You'll limit your involvement with the team outside of missions.” She got slowly to her feet, triumph and bravado coating her innate fear of what Celine was. “Isolate yourself, Celine, or I'll do it for you. Permanently.” Striding toward the door, Natasha dropped the tablet in Celine’s lap, the faces of Jacob and Thomas staring up at her from the screen.

Celine spoke softly, “Be careful, Widow. What you try so hard to protect… may not take kindly to your methods.”

“You’ll never tell them. You try so hard to be human, fit in, but you're a monster. I know it. You know it. If they knew what you'd done….” Natasha let the words hang as she shut the door and walked away.

Celine stared down at her lap and lightly touched first one and then the other face.

Natasha may have found the information on the boys, she may know some of Charles involvement, she suspected the Widow had likely bugged her room, but Natasha didn't know everything. She couldn't for there were no records of what Celine was beyond the mental knowledge shared by four people.

But the two smiling faces on the tablet in her lap, the one lost and the one…. She couldn't bear to think about it. The pain it caused was simply too great.

She placed her hand flat on the screen and ignored the tears which fell down her face as she cried for things she could never make right, and for the life she might have possibly had here.

Next Chapter

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[wanna-17]

joshua highschool!au

summary: you and joshua hong were strangers at a tutoring academy but what happens when he moves to your school and you guys bond over music and small cute moments?

genre: fluff, slice of life, semi-real life 

style: bullet-point 

length: 4.4k 

a/n: so this is something i’ve wanted to write for a while because it’s actually semi real life (not me ofc i cry someone i know) and i think their story is super cute. i’ve made some alternatives e.g. in real life it’s a church/school setting but because i’m posting on tumblr i decided to change it to a tutoring academy/school setting. but do let me know if you want a  version of the original setting :) also this ended up being really really long (mainly bc i know like a lot of exact details and wanted to include as much as i can) and im unsure if you guys like my writing style but im hoping to improve more over time as i hopefully write more bullet point styled scenarios :) 

so you’ve been going to this tutoring academy for a while and you go like once a week

you actually look forward to tutoring bc u were actually put in a really good class where everyone is friends and even have a group chat for memes 

anyways theres this guy called joshua who sits at the back

and hes like the most handsome guy in the class and all the girls /not so/ secretly fawn over him 

and like there are loads of rumours about him which claim that he opened his own lil company that makes apps and stuff which earns him $$$ at the age of 12 and how he like used a drone to capture the whole of his relatives wedding and how he like mastered 3 instruments and is a tech genius and on top of that really smart

which you obviously dont believe because thats not even human ??

anyways you do admit he’s sort of ok-above-average lookswise but u aint that shallow because he has a bad personality and you just hate him 

but you have evidence for hating him !! 

one time you accidentally walked into him verbally being mean to this other poor guy 

so you naturally just assumed he was a bully and had a bad impression of him

you thought he was a prideful annoying rude and horrible person 

and you just dont understand the hype about him at the tutoring academy 

like they literally give out flyers with his face on it ?? umm ?? what marketing purposes lmao 

anyways one day at tutor

your friend kyulkyung is like omg did u hear joshua is transferring to our school next year hdkhfaaku

kyulkyung is highkey a fangirl of him and always tries to talk you into him being a lil angel and nice person but you just snort lol

anyways you obviously dont care that he’s going to your school next year so you just shrug whatever 

later that night when u get home u get a friend request on facebook from...dun dun DUNNNN what a surprise joshua hong 

and you’re kinda like well ok ?? no harm in accepting a friend request 

you accidentally click on his name too and think oh well might as well stalk him a bit 

and damn his fb profile is super interesting bc he actually posts a lot but its not like dumb stuff boys usually post about video games 

but like cute family pictures of him and his lil bro and you’re like this boy is family oriented i LIKE 

then you suddenly come across a video...of this guy from your tutor...on kids masterchef

so u watch it and its the cutest thing ever 

lil joshua stirring an egg and trying to make an omelet hehehe

and omg apparently he made it to the semi finals of KIDS MASTERCHEF???

you keep scrolling down and thats when u come across the evidence of him opening up his company with an app and tech jazz and u r like is this guy even rEALL

you’re still doubtful tbh so u go the appstore and type in his app and it comes up...even with CREATOR OF XX APP: JOSHUA HONG ???? you literally fall off ur chair bc wow 

he cooks, he makes apps, he’s family oriented..that is all i need in a man HA HA 

so next time at tutor u see him ur lowkey like the other girls staring at him bc wow he seems decent all of a sudden lol 

ur other tutor friends are like: u r so lucky y/n josh’s gonna be at ur school 

and ur kinda thinking maybe i should befriend him now cos he’ll defs be super popular at school 

but tbh this fawning literally stops after 2 days and you go back to reality and focus on ur studies and all that 

well as for joshua he doesnt really know u too to him ur that cute girl from tutor nothing much 

fast forward to the next year ~

you kinda fully forget that josh is even coming 

so the first school day back is all nice and chill and u get to ur fave class music heheh 

you love music bc it really helps u concentrate and you also play clarinet and piano and love it 

you’re also topping the class and sometimes you think you wouldn’t mind being a music teacher 

so in music u take a seat next to your friend seungkwan who has power vocals and plays trumpet and when he sings at school performances you always accompany him as a pianist with woozi on drums 

you and suengkwan are just chatting and catching up about holidays

when the teacher walks in followed by a student and you see that its joshua 

and you’re like thinking o crap this is really awks i should hide

before u can do any of that tho he kinda makes a  beeline for you and takes the seat next to u cos he only knows u in the class haha 

and you’re literally looking the other way and u pretend u dont notice him take a seat next to u and you’re overly engaged in conversation with seungkwan

but seungkwan being the lovely and outgoing kid notices joshua and is like: hey!! are u new dont think ive seen u before

seungkwan is friends with everyone and everyone loves him back

joshua: uhh yeah i’m new 

and seungkwan is super excited and like welcome!! i’m seungkwan and he sticks his hand out and is like and ur name is?

joshua is like i’m joshua 

and seungkwan is like oh btw this is y/n 

and it gets super awks cos u guys know of each others existence but maybe have talked like once when he had to pass u a bag of chips at tutor and u were like thank u 

and seungkwan senses something and eyes you guys back and forth 

after 837491 decades josh breaks the silence and is like hello y/n in a really meek voice

and you awkwardly smile and say hi 

luckily class starts and the teacher introduces joshua to the class and asks him what instruments he plays 

and the rumours prove to be true - he plays 3 instruments piano guitar and flute the real life guy cant play piano lmao

teacher asks him to demonstrate with the instrument hes most confident in 

and so he starts playing the guitar to the tune of fireflies by owl city and also shyly starts singing to the lyrics check out how cute joshua is playing fireflies on his guitar here IM sOFTTT

and everyone is in awe at how good he is 

and you lowkey feel your heart rate increase bc boi you love guys that play guitar and sing well 

the way he sings is very gentle and sweet and the way he strums the guitar with his long fingers and how his eyes are full of gentle passion just makes you sWOOON

and somehow the way he sings with his emotions poured in just really touches your heart 

after his performance everyone starts clapping and some girls even stand up and cheer lmao 

he gets back to his seat and seungkwan gives him two thumbs up and says: bro are you kimbap kidding you were great you really should play guitar for me next time i sing

thanks says joshua bashfully and he kinda looks over to you with a hopeful look as if hoping you’d say something too

so you’re quickly like: yeah you were really good :)

josh: thanks y/n

anyways the teacher shushes everyone and is like: let me announce your first assignment! it’ll be in groups of 4 and it’ll be a cover of a pop song of your choice which you’d have to arrange yourselves. if you need help, you are welcome to ask other classmates that have experience in arranging or to ask me

whenver its group work you and seungkwan always join woozi

woozi comes over to you guys 

and then both woozi and seungkwan are like to joshua: wanna join our group pls

and so joshua joins your group 

and everyone else in class is jealous lmao because u 4 are definitely the top group with all the musical geniuses 

ur kinda happy that joshua joined ur group bc he’s really good at guitar 

and so u guys decide that u will do keyboard, joshua on guitar, woozi on drums and seungkwan on vocals 

and y’all learn that joshua knows how to hack into arranging music programs for free 

and woozi is like: WHAT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE????

also shows u guys that infamous app you made and he has some secret code so u guys can download it for free instead of buying it for $15

ur group actually gets along really well and has good dynamics bc everyone has great ideas on what songs to do and how to do it and stuff 

and its actually really fun with them even though you’re still awkward around joshua for no reason and he’s kinda shy too lmao

joshua suggests doing “breakeven” by the script 

and u have a fangirl moment bc u love the script and everyone agrees that its a great song choice :)

anyways one day you guys decide to meet after school to practice and  to refine the arranged piece which joshua and woozi did 

BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON seungkwan can’t make it anymore bc he has to babysit his little brothers and woozi has a student council meeting 

so its just you and joshua

and you two have never been like alone before like during group practice you guys make small conversation when the other two there and its all good and sweet but this was gonna be AWKWARD 

anyways so you try to initiate conversation by asking how he’s finding the new school 

and he just gives a short answer: pretty ok 

and it becomes you two just asking each simple questions and giving short replies

but its only when you he asks you how you started getting into music that the conversation really starts going somewhere because your eyes light up while talking about music and so does hie eyes

and you guys talk about how classical music is so under-appreciated these days and how mozart is a music legend and just the beauty of music etc. etc.

and in no time its getting really dark and you both have to head home

you guys walk to the bus stop and he gets on your bus 

and you’re like: hey i don’t think i’ve seen you catch this bus before?

joshua: yeah, but this bus also takes me home there are two buses that stop near my home!

you: oh ok cool 

from that day on you and joshua actually got super close due to both your love for music

you guys always practiced together with seungkwan and woozi even when the group performance was over (and your group topped and got A+!!!!!!!!)

you also encouraged joshua to join the school band club which seungkwan and woozi were also part of

you literally baited him in because the school band club was going on tour to europe next year to get some sick masterclass training and perform at famous places in austria 

so he basically joined so he could go to europe ;)))))) HEHEH

and even though you guys have different friend groups you guys sat near each other in the classes you shared, went to band club every monday morning at like 7am and also sometimes grabbed food together before tutoring 

this was when literally EVERYONE at tutoring and school started shipping u two together and you’d get embarrassed and joshua wouldn’t really say much either 

and to be honest deep in your heart you thought joshua was the ideal boyfriend but you had a rule where you weren’t gonna date in high school bc you wanted to focus on studies and you thought that high school relationships dont last and that they were pointless

and you’ve never really had a crush before so you’re super clueless lmao 

one time students in ur music class volunteered to busk on the streets and you thought it’ll be fine so u and ur squad (josh, seungkwan and woozi) all signed up for it ^^ 

BUT when the day came around, woozi had a really bad fever and couldn’t get out of bed and seungkwan’s mum had to show up to work so seungkwan had to babysit his little brothers again

and so the busking was at school ..,,, except when u got to school the gates were locked AND it literally started pouring 

you regretted not agreeing to your mum driving u bc u were a good daughter and didn’t want to bother her when it was her birthday 

you also regretted not bringing an umbrella with u as u didn't want to miss ur bus 

and so there you were soaking wet in the rain on a saturday morning not pleasant 

you didn't know what to do and none of your gal friends were busking and u didn't want to bother them so you ended up calling joshua and he picked up in 2 rings 

joshua: hey whats up?

you: sorry to ask of this but are you almost at school? because the gates are locked

joshua: oh really? i’ll be there in like 1 minute

you: ok see you soon

and in exactly one minute a car appeared and joshua hopped out with an umbrella

and he had the most concerned expression when he saw u soaking wet without an umbrella

joshua: omg y/n are you stupid why dont you have an umbrella

you just sighed as he held the umbrella above both ur heads 

joshua: why don’t we go inside my mums car before we decide what to do i dont want you getting sick :( 

you guys headed to his mums car and he just held the umbrella above both your heads and you noticed that it covered more of you than him

he could have easily put his arm around u so he wouldn’t get wet at all 

but this was one thing you came to notice and really admire about joshua

that he’s such a respectful gentleman 

whenever you befriended a guy you’d low key make it clear that you weren’t interested and just jokingly friend zone them 

he never made you uncomfortable with his actions or words and always 100% respected you and kept his boundaries 

anyways soon u guys found out that you had to enter the school from the back gates instead of the front  gates and the rain slowly came to a stop

cue: joshua’s mum eyeing you two in the rear mirror from the front lmao

anyways the day went well and you guys had a lot of fun busking together and even got ice cream together afterwards :)) 

next year rolls around and you guys have only maths and music classes together but still hang at tutoring

its  valentines day and tbh u never expect much because you’ve never received a red rose you’ve only gotten those  yellow friendship roses 

but during roll call the person giving out roses is like: y/n a red rose for you!!!! and you’re so SO happy bc who could be this secret admirer??

the rose also came with a super lame pick up line “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

you were so curious as to who it was 

joshua: oooOOOHHHH whose the unlucky guy pls we all know its you lmao

anyways europe FINALLy  rolls around and heck u are keen to visit mozart’s house

some of your girl friends like eunwoo, yuha and roa are also going 

when the whole band club arrives in europe every day is busy busy with music workshops and such and its only 5 days in where the teachers who came on the trip give the students like 3 hours of free time

teacher: ok u guys must be in a pair at least so u don’t get lost!!

however, all ur friends only want to go shopping while u wanted to take a walk and admire the scenery of europe 

but then someone taps you on the shoulder and u turn around and its joshua 

joshua: hey what were you planning to do during the free time?

you: i wanted to look around and see the architecture and the scenery and stuff but everyone wants to go shopping :( 

joshua: oh really! thats so good because me too i’d rather take a walk around here rather than go shopping; all my friends wanted to shop too 

you: omg thats great we are always in sync arent we haha

joshua: yeah we are! let’s go together then?

so you and joshua walk around the land of austria and admire the beautiful architecture and takes pictures of the scenery and visit all the pretty churches 

it’s literally your favourite day so far in europe bc you’re so happy ahhaa

(little did you know tho seungkwan literally refused joshua to hang out with him bc he was so sick of seeing joshua tiptoe around you. seungkwan: I BEG U TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME WITH HER PLS BE ROMANTIC PLS CONFESS ALREADYYYY)

so that night dinner is also free time so students can choose where they wanna go to eat and seungkwan joins you guys and you guys all end up in a really fancy and aesthetic restaurant 

where the lighting is dim, there are lit candles and roses hung around and its literally a beautiful restaurant

you’re super oblivious but seungkwan is like glaring at joshua the whole time and kicking him under the table 

while they’re having a staring contest you’re just chatting away about how much of a great time you’re having and how this is the first time in your life you’ve been inside such a nice restaurant and  chugging on your food 

after the meal you take a toilet break and little do you know while you’re doing so seungkwan is giving mediating lessons to joshua so he can calm down 

and by the time you get back seungkwan is gone

you: oh where did seungkwan go?

joshua: oh he just went to chat with woozi

you take a seat and is like: so do u reckon we should head now?

and then joshua is like: actually there’s something i really want to say to you

and you just look at him super confused bc did something bad happen?? and you’re just super clueless and oblivious to his feelings towards you

bc the reason why ppl even ship u guys in the first place is because everyone can see how the way he stares at you, cares for you, catches your bus thats a 15min walk to his home when there’s one that stops directly in front of his home, how he always helps you with work, how he always encourages you to not give up whenever you’re having a hard time 

and then joshua is like: y/n you probably have an idea already but i really like you, i like you a lot. i’ve liked you since we got ditched by seungkwan and woozi in music class and we ended up talking about music and had a proper conversation. also the rose for valentines day this year, that was me too 

and you are S H O O K 

and your mind is blank

and then you blurt out the dumbest thing ever 

“sorry i only see u as a friend and dont want to date in high school”

.....

teacher: ok guys we are heading back to the hotel now!!!!!

joshua’s eyes and shoulder’s drop completely and he looks so discouraged and sad

and you’re brain is just confused as to what just happened...you suddenly feel hurt? lost? 

you told yourself never to like anyone and up until now you’d never felt your heart race for anyone...you suddenly felt like you lost someone precious....someone special...

you guys part ways and head back to your respective friendship groups 

and the moment you get back to the hotel you head straight for your room, not wanting to talk to anyone about what just happened

bc girl u needed time to process what just happened and to really think bc you’re heart was aching for some strange reason 

(obviously you were oblivious to the fact that you had always liked joshua the whole time sighs) 

you can’t think straight so you decide to call ur sister nayoung 

you completely forget about the time difference between europe and australia 

and so when nayoung picks up she’s groaning into the phone: IDIOT ITS 7AM HERE AND A SATURDAY I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP 

you: you won’t believe what happened

nayoung: what did you get a boyfriend lmao

bc before u went to europe ur sister always joked about finding a handsome european guy with a cool accent lmao

you: not really no

nayoung: WHAT 

so you tell your sister everything that happened and how you felt so empty and lost after rejecting joshua and unexpectedly you even start crying 

and you can hear your sister sigh over the phone

nayoung: look y/n, the fact that you’re crying and even more confused obviously means you like him. to be honest i always had a feeling he liked you and i also thought you liked him too. these days all you ever talk about is him at home and you’ve never said a negative thing about him,,, you totally like him 

and you being a stubborn one are like: “no he’s my friend a really close friend that i trust, he’s basically my brother, its like i lost a relative” you sob

nayoung: remember in weightlifting fairy kim bok joo...do you think you’ll be okay if joshua wasn’t by your side anymore? think about it carefully, thank about all the times you relied on him in the last year sorry had to bring in weightlifting fairy kim bokjoo because #swag forever and this part actually happened in real life bc the girls sister said this lmao

and well it was true that you’d relied on joshua too much recently there were times where you were struggling and u turned to him for advice in particular that time where you were considering dropping out of music bc it was getting stressful and taking up so much time

and no matter what your family and friends said you wouldn’t listen but when joshua advised you mind u with the exact same things nayoung said you somehow trusted his words and he was like your rock at times and always willing to listen to u and encourage u 

by this point more and more tears were flowing and you didn’t even know why YOU LIKE JOSHUA BUT U R OBLIVIOUS POTATO 

nayoung: maybe you can tell him that you were flustered so you can rethink it again you might regret this later

you: ok thats a good idea ill try to...

and after nayoung the best sister in the world pep talked u and lectured u for the next hour u finally decided that you would reconsider ur decision and let joshua know 

you were dreading the awkwardness bc ever since the confession u guys had not talked and avoided eye contact at all costs 

you sighed and decided to sleep so u wouldn’t have to think about it for now and deal with it tomorrow

meanwhile in joshua and seungkwans room 

josh: seUNGKWAN U LIL IDIOT she freaking rejected me this is the most embarrassing rejection in the world how will i live after today??????

seungkwan: i dont get it tho y/n clearly likes u why would she reject u i even asked y/n’s sister nayoung to see if she had a crush on anyone 

josh: i’m never talking to u again seungkwan do u know how hurt i am 

*cue seungkwan trying to make joshua laugh by acting out natural disaster scenes from american movies lmao* 

so the next day you’re trying to find the opportunity to talk to joshua but he was always surrounded by ppl 

and u were so nervous bc u had planned what to say in ur head and despite the weather being -2318 degrees Celsius u were sweating from head to toe 

anyways right after breakfast and before boarding the bus u finally see joshua by himself because seungkwan had gone to the loo 

and you slowly approach joshua taking deep breaths because u were about to face the most awkward conversation of ur life 

but before u actually reached joshua he saw u coming and awkwardly looked away as he rubbed the back of his  neck

but u had to do this nayoung was right what if u regretted this and took this to ur grave he was the one guy u were so comfortable around and u could be yourself and he was so supportive and not to mention cute and smart too 

you: hey josh

josh: oh uh hi y/n

you: ummm look i wanted to talk to u about ummm yesterdays events 

cringe it was already getting so so so awkward bury me in a hole already

josh: ahhh ok sure what do you need to say?

you: the thing i’m really sorry about what i said yesterday...tbh i was really flustered and i just ended up blurting that out i hope i didn't hurt you. but i wanted to ask if u could give me a chance to reconsider what u said bc ur a really great  guy and i think i’ve never seen u in a romantic way before so starting now i’ll seriously consider your feelings for me and also work out if i have feelings for u 

and u were so embarrassed and u felt ur cheeks go red  and ur looking at the ground

josh: a chance? i couldn’t even get a single minute of sleep last night says josh jokingly

you: omg really im so sorry :(

josh: its okay im really happy that you’re giving me a chance ;;; like tbh if u think about it, we go same tutoring, see each other in band club and even share closes together...we really can’t be awkward around each other so i was thinking of approaching u and telling u that its ok if u didn't feel the same way

you: *blush* yeah thats true.............

josh: so y/n dont be awkward anymore ok? lets go back to the way we were

you nod sheepishly 

josh: and just give me your answer when you’re ready,,, i can wait an eternity for u HDJWFHWWK CAN YOU IMAGINE JOSHUA ACTUALLY SAYING THAT I CANT EVEN 

and yay its all good between u guys and no awkwardness and you guys back to your usual relationship

and like the more you think about it, you find urself falling for joshua and noticing just how handsome he was and how kind he was 

and you just really liked the fact that he was such a gentleman 

he didn’t push you about your feelings, he continued to respect ur personal space and he didn’t make moves on u and just continued to be a good friend 

but u heard from seungkwan that he was hurting a lot inside even though he smiled whenever u were around 

and u didn’t like seeing him in this state 

so you decided on ur answer !!! 

(bc ur heart fluttered so much whenever you were around him and u started actually caring about ur looks and how he thought of u) 

it was first period at school and it was music class

like 97% of music classes it was just practice 

and u purposely get seungkwan and woozi to practice with all the other students 

so u and joshua are just sitting on the stairs and joshua is lightly strumming on his guitar looking like a prince i tell u 

and u guys are just chatting away normally and u tell yourself i need to say it its okay it’s normal i’m just gonna say it 

and u probably have a super panicky look on ur face 

and josh is like: r u ok y/n?

you: im fine..it’s just that i wanted to tell you something...about u know...that

and you see josh’s face literally drop and he stops strumming his guitar and mumbles: oh

because joshua thinks he’s gonna get rejected for the second time rip 

and you’re really flustered again so you’re like

“i like you too, i want to give us a chance i can’t afford to lose you”

and literally the josh’s mouth curls into the biggest grin and u can see his eye smile hdahfoeifhq

and he looks you in the eye: y/n will you be my girlfriend starting from today?

you: yes i will joshua 

IDAHLQF QYES FINALLY YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER

literally everyone is happy and suengkwan wants to throw a party for u guys

basically at school u guys are the music couple bc u guys sometimes do duets and are always defending each other when other ppl say that classical music is dumb 

and one time a teacher was super mean to u and joshua stood up for you and you are like where did the shy joshua go 

you guys perform a lot with the squad aka seungkwan and woozi 

joshua even shouts seungkwan bc seungkwan played a big role 

*nayoung in the background: what about me :((((((* 

and like at tutoring the tutor, jeonghan is even happy and is like to this kid: pass me $10 i said so they’d get together this year lmao 

i just realised i forgot about kyulkyung lmao 

kyulkyung is so happy and loves third wheeling dates to get free food lmao bc joshua is such a gentleman and insists on paying all the time

but eventually u guys decide to take turns and agree that he can treat desert 

and yeah you guys are couple goals because super supportive of each other, always watching out for one another and you guys only have eyes for each other 

ok i need to end it here lmao its like too long

and yes this girl got confessed to in austria (when they live in australia) its actually so romantic tbh im not jealous at all *wiggles eyebrows* 

[i-hate-lloyd-garmadon]

@bemmiecake k den lol if you really werent talking about me and it was just a, coincidence then shit my bad lol

im on mobile so i cant add a read more sorry hoes its a long post

EDIT: finally there’s a read more

skybound is a bad season because of how poorly it treated its characters and trying to be "progressive" but instead just recycling the same harmful clichés and going nowhere with the problems it supposedly wanted to tackle.

the biggest issue i have with it is yeah, nya, this is by far her worst season, and i dont mean it as nya herself, or wherether she kicked butt in this season or not, but instead how the writers practically gave her no choice over her actions. she even says she didnt have a choice over becoming the water ninja, but its the writers who decided that, it wasnt wu, it wasnt jay, theyre fictional characters with no real life power. the writers ripped nya off all her will to choose, back in possession when they introduced her as the elemental master of water, she DIDNT have to become a ninja, her powers are not tied to lloyd in any way and she couldve stayed as a samurai just fine. but instead they decided to add more drama, because nya is a girl and girls are all about drama! right? they treat their only main female character SO badly, she's the writers punching bag for whenever they want to shove romantic drama in our face, neither pixal or skylor had it this badly (although each have problem of their own)

its not like the production doesnt know what theyre doing is bad, they do. if they didnt, then, skybound wouldnt have actually adressed these issues.

anyway, at the very start of the season nya's initial conflict is being treated in a very misogynistic way by the media. being seen only as "the girl ninja" or "jays girlfriend" and the whole love triangle bs instead of her own person.which is a very legitimate problem that not only happens to her or other fictional characters, but to women in real life, i was slightly impressed they even /tried/ to confront this concept. but of course, they had to go ahead and tie this conflict to a man, they just HAD to un-develop jays character to make more drama. im not saying nya should be isolated from men lol, but every. single. woman. in EVERYTHING EVER MUST BE IN SOME WAY INVOLVED WITH A MAN. Its not progressive to say "girls its ok to date men!", nope, no. what we lack of instead is a positive "girls its ok to be on your own!" message.

so it INFURIATES me that they tried to add "feminism" (if u can even call that shit feminist lol) by making dareth say ooc shit like girls can only cook and do their makeup so nya can tell him how WRONG he IS and that girls are STRONG and INDEPENDANT!!!!!1111(SEE WE'RE SO OPEN MINDED LOVE US) and making jay obess over getting back again. they didnt solve anything, everything felt as if some unknown forces (bad writing) forced nya to just accept everything that happened to her. in the end she didnt do anything that she wanted to do, she stayed as a ninja and her and jay got together again, even when she literally said she WANTED TO BE A SAMURAI and that she DIDNT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. ugh, the writers made her complain about how wu didnt let her choose and then they didnt let her choose what to do about it lol.

and of COURSE, they had to make it even worse, they just HAD to kill her off at the end. one of the oldest and most boring clichés in everything ever, and a misogynistic one at that. killing a female character just so her male love interest can grieve over her death is nothing new. and its even worse when you consider what happened to her in that entire season.

first she gets poorly treated by the media, she feels like shes not even a person of her own, nadakhan wants to kidnap her so he can marry her, then her ex gets obsessed with getting back together (jay was shit in this season), then she stays alone with said ex which probably influenced her decision on getting back with him (the whole "i knew from the moment we met" thing is so forced), later she gets kidnapped, forced to marry nadakhan and gets possessed by delara, only to die after in a failed tearjerker scene. how did her character develop? it didnt, she was used to develop jays character instead. all the things happening to her where to see how jay would react or act, not to make nya grow as a character. even after she was "part of the team" now they still treated her only as jay's love interest.

theres literally no lesson to be learned from nya dying lol we DONT need dead women in a kids cartoon, specially one that is directed at young boys. it being all erased at the end didnt make it any better tbh it just felt like this season was a waste of time.

tldr; the ninjago writers tried to be progressive but failed miserably

so yeah nya being poorly treated is what bothers me the most, ofc theres other things i also mentioned like jays un-development, dareth's ooc lines, and the bad messages this season gives to girls in general. but this post is already long as it is and my hands hurt from typing for almost an hour lol.

idk if im missing something but its almost 3 am and thats p much why i hate skybound, bye

[dmbakura]

that meme is full of adorables, and i really wanna hear your theifshipping for it

thiefshipping is standard ofc

How did they they meet?: either in a back alley with bakura nearly getting run over by malik’s motorcycle, or near the aquarium and pier. either way, you kno its gonna be a good pairing

Who developed romantic feelings first?: they both did at around the same time but fuck if they’re gonna admit it to each other. they both have mad crushes in battle city, but then it develops more afterwards (following my hc they also meet after battle city). they both think its a fling. it’s very much not.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”: ryou, mostly because it means bakura is out of his hair

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?: getting really drunk pre-millennium world and just kinda messing around with their partnership. shit happens. it happens so fast theyre hardly even aware of it.

Who confessed their feelings first?: ha ha ha..... that would require them both not to be severely emotionally repressed. any sort of confessions come way later in their relationship, so likely post-canon.

What was their first official date?: does teaming up to try and destroy the pharaoh count? well probably sometime post-canon when they go for a ride on malik’s bike through the countryside to get away from civilization. they wouldnt call it a date but it totally is a date

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?: they don’t really like anyone else but i dont think they’d outright refuse either? though im not sure why anyone would want to go on a double date with these two. they’re horribly obnoxious and they’d definitely take the opportunity to mess with their tag along date

What do they do in their down time?: lounge around, enjoy each other’s company. they’re clingy assholes

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?: OK SO i know theyre parents are both dead and all so this would never happen but i have some rps to maybe give an idea. i have an rp where malik’s father returned via 4kids induced plothole (’everyone who got sent to the shadow realm by my other half will return’?). needless to say, it did not go well. malik’s father was already mad at malik, and knowing he was with bakura (bakura was cursing him the fuck out believe me) did not help at all. AND when malik’s father found out bakura was the THIEF KING on top of that he nearly fainted because his son, leader of the tombkeepers, was dating practically their sworn enemy. that rp did end on a good note though but im getting off topic.we also had an rp where malik and bakura used the quantum cube to jump into the afterlife and visit their mothers. this one was much more pleasant and also i cried. so honestly i think if they had the chance to meet their parents as a couple, it would go relatively well.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?: well ok they’ve had a lot of arguments and its hard to really pin down where there first one as a ‘couple’ was because that line blurs very easily with them. anyways, im just gonna say their first biggest argument was actually right before bakura went off to do the final rpg. malik had just found out bakura intended to unleash zorc and destroy the world and WTF MAN malik might not like atem but he doesnt want THAT. anyways it gets physical, with malik trying to convince him not to and bakura feeling a probably unjust sense of betrayal. its not a good time for anyone. (i have a scene like it in my fic here. shameless self promotion.) they only get past it post-canon, because bakura failed and he has no where else to go. i think malik would have always known that bakura would lose, given atem’s track record.

Which one is more easily made jealous?: they can both get pretty possessive of each other, mostly when others flirt with either of them (happens relatively often because theyre both very attractive). bakura might be more insecure about it because malik is truly the only person he has

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?: see wiki

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?: theyre both the cuddly ones. fuc k dude they love to spoon. bakura’s small and he fits so well under malik’s chin. also they like being in each other’s laps

Are they hand holders?: tsundere hand holders but yes

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?: pfff they’re sleeping together before theyre officially dating. i think the full thing happens sometime post canon with some messing around pre-millennium world

Who tops?: malik usually

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?: oooooohhhh so they’ve had some bad ones but the worst would have to do with malik’s patricide. malik’s very sensitive about the whole thing with his father and bakura is not always the smartest about backing off and doesnt really grasp the full depth of the abuse malik suffered. he can’t understand why malik doesnt hate his father, and he cant understand why he continuously shifts the blame off of his father.so one time he says something to the effect of “your other half did everyone a favour by killing that bastard” and needless to say, it doesnt go well. malik actually throws him out of the house for a while and bakura is glad to leave. it takes them over a week to cool down from that.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?: malik usually shops with bakura accompanying him sometimes. they usually cook for themselves since malik can’t eat meat and bakura loves meat, or they just order takeout.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?: malik

Who proposes?: assuming they’d even have a wedding to begin with, which they likely wouldnt but for the sake of this question im gonna say bakura. yes he stole the ring.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?: joined, though i guess it wouldnt be much of a party. neither of them really have any friends pffff

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?: rishid is the best man for malik and isis watches from the sidelines questioning everything in her life.

Big Ceremony or Small?: oh i think it would be expensive for sure. as for who actually shows up? rishid, isis, several tombkeeper officials have to show up (because their leader getting married is a big thing, though this is definitely not what they envisioned...). yugi and friends actually show up more out of complete bewilderment than anything. ryou shows up with a giant bottle of vodka. malik and bakura crash their own wedding and also pickpocket from nearly everyone there. it’s a really wild time, but they have a lot of fun

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?: they goin to france baby

Do they have children? How many?: no children. i love thiefdads but in my ‘main’ verse i dont really see them adopting kids at all. malik has too many insecurities associated with the matter. he’s afraid of being like his father and harming the kid. bakura is more impartial to the idea of children but at the same time he doesnt mind not having kids either.

[necromilk]

Oc hard mode, ulric - multiples of 3, xena - multiples of 4, modern urban fantasy hot snake hair dude - multiples of 2

SO MUCH!!!!

Ulric

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

hah if by father you mean the man who raised him, he was p much ignored save for the attention he would get when he dad could make money betting on him. as for his bio dad-the guy died before ulric was even born

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

a lot of stuff with self harm, drowning, his mother…

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

hmmm, when hes older and married, yes its a lot better than when he was younger/couch surfing when older

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

sleeping in the same bed with someone, doesnt even need to be sex, just having other person there with him is grounding

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

not at all with either, he didn’t really grow up with much so there wasn’t much to want or form attachments to as far as material things, and money isnt really something he ever concerns over

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

as somewhat of an ambitious person, he does admire wisdom as an extension of intelligence

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

he usually tends to blame himself, cuz he knows hes a huge fuckup

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

he is literally a dog and will trust anyone first unless they prove they are untrustworthy

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

will immediately apologize for whatever he did cuz he knows he likely did some shit

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

lmfao his face

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

when it comes to skills or practices, hes more willing to improve, but when it comes to his personal appearance, he gets self deprecating

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

ulric really tries to like everyone, he does, but there are some things he can’t agree with and he will still be civil and kind but will try to avoid them if he can

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

lmfao B)

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

his future husband’s father, yes

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

death is terrifying to him, so he always tries to live as much as he can–but he was never religious so he doesn’t think there is anything afterwards

Xena

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

maybe not witnessed but he was bullied alot growing up and it did make him a lot meeker, and his moms both knew he was being harassed and did try to help all they could

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

is very much a pacifist and wouldn’t touch a gun if he didn’t have to

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

probably when he is at home with his moms, spending time with them, baking or watching movies

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

to xena, happiness is life’s ultimate success

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

he doesn’t compare himself to others so much, he knows everyone is different but he can admire others for qualities he doesn’t have

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

is a bit more hesitant to trust someone, but can with a build up over time, but tends to trust fem-identified people more than the other side of the gender spectrum

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

literally not at all and would have a hard time fighting back if it ever did get physical

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

in any situation when hes in a place completely male populated

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

avoids them, a lot shyer or quiet if he has to converse w them

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

he is always polite but tries so hard to not be the awful customer usually

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

super hard and p much never does it ever, the only people he has ever said I love you to are his moms

Cobra King (aka hot snake man)

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

he is one of a lot of siblings, so his mother has only so much time to give each of her children, but she was his mother and he respected her as that authority in his life

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

when he was younger, no surprise that he probably witnessed someone he knew dying at the hands of a human, growing up learning to avoid them bc they were dangerous, seeing that only cemented those ideals

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

he doesn’t really dream much, but if he does its often dreaming of his childhood, when things were simpler

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

ofc, he is a cop but likely worked with guns before he became a cop, so it was likely someone he had a disagreement with and it escalated, but no one was hurt, likely just fired the gun to intimidate

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

he feels like he can blend in better with more clothes on, but prefers to wear less otherwise it starts to bother his skin after so long

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

probably just sleeping at home, bundled in blankets to keep warm

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

hes pretty good with names, since he always wears sunglasses, it makes the face thing a little more of a challenge

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

he believes success is the best way to happiness

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

more so ambition because it’s not really a trait he sees around much anymore

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

he doens’t compare himself to others, but if he does, its always to improve himself

What does your character like in other people?

he likes people who are firm in their beliefs, but can still admit when they’re wrong and keeping an open mind

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

he really has to know you and been through some shit to say that, its a pretty big deal to him

How does your character behave around children?

isn’t the most socially apt at dealing with kids, but obviously isn’t gonna be a dick

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

he tends to think more than act, so he would only resort to violence if it was necessary or in self-defense

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

lmao generally all mankind

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

stuck in some confined space with a human

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

if something doesn’t work the first time, there isn’t much sense in trying it again

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

is v much able to vocalize his dislike and has no shame in that and will not apologize for his opinions

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

depends on the situation, if its something universally threatening, he would remove it, but if it were more so a personal problem, he would just remove himself

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

he is technically in a service job, but it really depends on how people treat him first

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

hes had mentors over his many years of living that have helped better discover himself

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

its something he has never actually said before? maybe once to his mother, but king is the most affectionate or openly emotional person

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself