#he doesn't want Jaehaera to suffer that as well

[dirtytransmasc]

I think. I think I need Helaena to go see Aegon. I think they have so much tension and hurt and grief and confusion and longing and disgust and at the end of the day, some sad scrap of something that, in certain light, may resemble love, between them.

he is her brother, her husband, the father of her children, of her dead boy-

now here he lay, potentially dying himself.

I need them to look at each other. I need her to do something seemingly mindless. fixing his sheets, taking a cloth and wiping his hands. something that keeps her focus on him, but not on him, not present per say.

they are unable to focus on one another. it hurts. it's foreign. it's not right. they're not sure of how to do it. so she cannot look at him, not in the eye. she cannot sit there and look at him and speak to him. but she can clean his hands. she can fix his sheets. she can exist in his space.

but she's there, and her touch is soothing. he isn't alone.

maybe she speaks, maybe she doesn't. maybe Aegon speaks, maybe he chokes out a fragment of her name, or and "I'm sorry" and she will nod. or maybe he too sits in silence, watching her.

but they're together.

[ceoofhelaegon]

Otto sucks. Alicent sucks. They calling Jaehaerys "that child" and trying to use him as tool. Only Aegon and Helaena cares about his son's death

Otto angrier at Aegon for hanging some ratcatchers but not Aemond who killed his nephew starting a bloody war is baffling. Even just last episode Otto was sympathetic to Aemond after he killed Luke and giving Alicent shade over not letting him send Kingsguards after Rhaenyra. Now this episode he apparently relearned how to care about the optics enough again, and gives more of a shit about some rat catchers than the death of his own great-grandson.

Nonnies, I will have to rinse Otto and Alicent here.

I used to be ride or die for Alicent and even used to defend Otto against people that said he didn't care about his family, but it seems that they were right.

The absolute 180 Otto did about optics, was infuriating. And I have no idea why the WHOLE of Kingslanding would turn against Aegon? I can see the families, but the Prince was brutally murdered?! People don't forget that easily, they SAW his little body, and that scene was so sad.

That was absolutely disgusting, Aegon was correct, they shouldn't do the funeral. Both mother and father didn't want this, but they used Aegon's grief and pain to manipulate him into doing what they wanted and the fact that Alicent only interjected when Otto said that Alicent would be there as well? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

The fact that this was the first time we've seen Helaena voicing her opinion and go against something, she is not listened to and has to do something completely out of her comfort zone.

And then, after all of this shit show Otto has the AUDACITY to say that Viserys was good king?! EXCUSE ME?! Do you mean the absolute waste of oxygen that was the reason WE ARE ALL IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I cheered when he was fired.

Using Aegon's most vulnerable weak spot, after his dead son, to say that Viserys was right about Aegon?! RIGHT ABOUT WHAT?! Did Viserys even acknowledge Aegon besides when he was a baby? He was right about Aegon not existing?!

Otto was a straight up psychopath this episode and I have no idea if I will like his character again, I will enjoy seeing him because Rhys Ifans is great, but other than that? Nope, to the bin with Otto.

Oh, and my girl Helaena...suffering so much and has to listen to her mother talking about having sex?! Literally NO ONE cares, I have no idea what they are doing with Alicent this season but I am not liking it.

And now to the worse scene I have seen, Alicent leaving Aegon whilst he is breaking down about his son being butchered in his bed. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! And I cannot take the 'she never got it from her father, that is why she can't do it' excuse because she CAN comfort Helaena, she CAN comfort Aemond as we've seen before, and Otto did try to comfort her, he puts his hands on her shoulders and SHE rejects him. So she IS capable of comforting people just not Aegon?

Surprisingly, Criston is the least bad of the bunch. He wasn't responsible for Helaena and the children and the WHOLE FLOOR having absolutely NO ONE, not even a maid is a plot hole, it doesn't matter what the writers say. As Aegon said, at least Criston has acted, even if it wasn't the best plan in the world, but it almost worked?

OH MY GOD, I JUST REMEMBERED.

Otto acting holier than thou about the plan, when his dumbass didn't ask Westerling to do the EXACT SAME THING?! The HYPOCRISY?!

Yeah, but we need to get helaegon and Jaehaera away from this whole mess, let them grieve in peace and have Maelor.

[horizon-verizon]

The ongoing argument about Aegon’s relationships—whether he should have remained with Jaehaera or Daenaera—mirrors discussions surrounding Jace’s potential pairings, particularly the belief that his story would be more 'interesting' if linked to a [x] white character rather than Baela. There’s this persistent notion that Aegon’s relationship with Jaehaera would somehow be deeper and more meaningful than his potential connection with Daenaera, which makes one wonder what people are really valuing here. It’s hard to ignore the subtle biases at play. What annoys me the most is the implication that Baela, who’s all about fierce independence and bravery, can’t have a romantic storyline without losing her edge. There’s this troubling notion that strength and love are somehow incompatible—like Baela can’t have her agency if she’s with Jace. Why can’t Baela be both fierce and capable of love/be in love? This same mindset applies to Rhaena as well. She’s only allowed to wield “respectable” forms of power—like her intelligence, ability to navigate political relationships, or role in scheming. But the moment she taps into the Targaryen legacy, like bonding with a dragon, people seem to lose interest in her character or condemn her, as if that somehow reduces her to being like any other Targaryen with a dragon. I would have liked to see a more compelling take on her. But when people start saying she should prove her worth in more "acceptable" ways and imply that embracing her heritage makes her less interesting—that’s where they lose me. Why should Rhaena have to distance herself from such a core part of her Targaryen identity to be seen as complex? Whether it’s the belief that Daenaera isn’t "deep" enough compared to Jaehaera because she doesn’t fit the tragic, tortured mold that people find so compelling in Jaehaera...that doesn’t make Daenaera less worthy or interesting. Why can’t Daenaera be both kind-hearted and compelling in her own right? Why can’t Baela have a love story without losing her strength? Why can’t Rhaena embrace her heritage and still be strong on her own? Why do these characters have to sacrifice one aspect for another?

this better not be lifted. Yes, it's that deep.

There’s this troubling notion that strength and love are somehow incompatible—like Baela can’t have her agency if she’s with Jace. Why can’t Baela be both fierce and capable of love/be in love?

---

But the moment she [Rhaena] taps into the Targaryen legacy, like bonding with a dragon, people seem to lose interest in her character or condemn her, as if that somehow reduces her to being like any other Targaryen with a dragon.[...]she should prove her worth in more "acceptable" ways and imply that embracing her heritage makes her less interesting[...]Why should Rhaena have to distance herself from such a core part of her Targaryen identity to be seen as complex?

--- (Daenaera is obvious)

These are all pretty insightful, & all try to make the excuse & misnomer of "complexity" to deny each HotD-universed Black woman that would make her both power and something like love, self-affirmative or social. It's like they want Baela and Rhaena specifically to token strong-sex/love-less-black-women. what they really mean by "compelling" is "attractive" or "appealing", and Black women with graceful power/power-and-"soft" simply aren't as appealing as assigning that back to white/white-coded characters.

Aegon and Jaehaera would never be able to be "compelling" as an actual relationship, because they'd just try to stay out of each other's way; there can't be "complexity" if the characters don't interact often enough! but that doesn't matter, bc they also need the white girl to perform white-girl-suffering to fulfill that itch of self-indulgence.

[lemonhemlock]

Hi Lemon! It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts on hotd so I just want to share mine and ask for your opinion :)

First of all, I completely agree with one of the recent anons about helaemond and how it would have made the story better and more logical, the characters involved more engaging and human and ofc, the motivations more clear. And yes, it's ridiculous how my fellow greenies have been screeching about it making the greens look bad and hypocritical when in reality it would have only endeared them more to the GA (if done right, of course). Aemond would have been a multi layered character, Helaena would have had more relevance and Aegon and Aemond's fallout would have been more convincing. Oh well, a missed opportunity, unfortunately. But the greens are the ones who were damaged.

Second of all, Helaena is such a mystery to me and not in a good way. She has the same gift as Daenys the dreamer and yet she won't do anything with it? Why? To make her a constantly doomed and tragic figure who can't avoid her destiny? Because that's not the best explanation and just seems lazy. She is completely detached from the narrative. I thought at first that she couldn't interpret her dreams and visions, but after the balcony scene with Aemond it's obvious she can. Also, the way she apathetically talked to Aemond abut him dying and (sort of ) no one caring rubbed me the wrong way and I actually felt bad for him in that scene, not her, even though it obviously wasn't the writers' intention (and I agree with you, %his request wasn't unreasonable at all).

Finally, them using Helaena in Daemon's vision made my blood boil. Apparently, she can be Bran like toward her own brother because he "deserves" it, but it's OK to use her to "light the way" for Daemon in his "redemption" arc. It's unbelievable and straight up offensive . What is actually the point of her character and her ability then? Anyway, I would love to read your thoughts on this. Thanks.

first of all, anon, hello & thank you & i hope you enjoy your stay on my blog! 💚

PREFACING this by saying that the full helaena-aemond scenes might offer a bit more context than we already have, but, basically, here are my takes, as of now, the friday before the season finale. subject to change!

i guess my thesis statement is that this whole season kind of destroys helaena's character, as well.

let's look at her relationship with aegon:

from what i understand, she says she was "happy" before the war. a helaegon win perhaps? if she was "happy", then she must have been content enough with her position as aegon's wife, no? that doesn't seem like a huge logical leap to make. so, whatever aegon did or didn't do, it must just not have bothered her that much to impinge on her "happiness", even if perhaps she wouldn't necessarily rate him very highly as a husband either.

but, then again, she never mentions him. he just suffered a traumatic injury and is in constant pain. helaena is not besieged by grief this season, she is not catatonic with her own trauma, she is very lucid and calm and acting normally, yet she doesn't once ask about him or visit him or offer SOME kind of condolences or feel any kind of way about him being a cripple. he is still her brother, though? and apparently she has no particular beef with him? she shares a daughter with him, yet never even considers how it will be difficult for jaehaera to see her father like that. she just doesn't give a shit. and, i have to say, this makes her look rather sociopathic.

now let's look at her relationship with aemond. she is apparently so dismissive and gives zero fucks about the concept of aemond's death. like with aegon, there is a version in which helaena could have real grievances with aemond that could lead her to act like this. does she, though?

she doesn't give a shit that aemond burned aegon

she doesn't give a shit that aemond instigated the blacks into assassinating her son

she doesn't give a shit that aemond dismissed alicent from the council

what other reason could there possibly be? does she disagree with his war strategy? does she care that he burned a village? is she a secret rhaenyra stan? did he step on her favourite cockroach when they were kids and now it's payback time?

so, to be so indifferent and apathetic and downright heartless towards her brothers for no reason, again, paints her like a sociopath. what does she even care about? just her bugs? what in the seven hells? i'm not even sure that was the writers' intention anyway, they just truly have no idea what to do with her character. she is there so her interlocutor might exhibit some of their own character traits, but it's like talking to an android.

there are also ways in which one could show helaena's reluctance regarding flying dreamfyre to war, not just "lol i don't want to be bothered" when her family's lives are at stake. at the very least show her terrified of dying or squeamish about violence or something.

and her assisting daemon's redemption arc is downright nauseating. she gives zero fucks about her brothers, but DAEMON is the one she elects to help??

from a watsonian POV, she is not likeable or understandable at all, they are basically turning her into a selfish coward infantilising herself and not bothering to take the slightest initiative to change or influence the things she disagrees with, who just wants to sit on her arse all day waiting to die. but can she truly be analysed through a watsonian POV? was this the intention of the writers? (death of the author and all - what other in-universe characterisation could you give her based on her inaction on all fronts?)

like with alicent, i, for one, cannot apply watsonian analysis to helaena, because that's not how a human person would believably act in those situations. that's not how neuro-divergent people act! they cannot keep using this as an excuse. i don't want to hear the "everyone grieves in different ways" pretext. controversial opinion, but it's downright offensive to neuro-divergent people to claim they are so soulless and don't care about anything other than their hyper-fixations and would not blink if their family were in mortal danger or lift a finger to help in any kind of way

[dwellordream]

thoughts on HOTD, episode 8, season 2 (spoilers below)

I'm baffled by Lohar's accent here. Are we supposed to intuit she was raised in Westeros? On the other hand, maybe it's for the best they're not trying to do another 'exotic' accent like they gave Mysaria? I'm equally confused by Aemond burning Sharp Point. Presumably the Bar Emmons are Blacks here but did he just choose that at random or what. I could see him going full dictator on the people of King's Landing and having random smallfolk tortured and killed, given how multiple dragonseeds defected to Dragonstone, but this is pretty random even for Aemond.

Aegon does canonically flee King's Landing before Rhaenyra seizes it, but this seems weirdly... early for him to run? Yes, the Blacks just got a huge dragon advantage, but in Fire & Blood, Aegon and Larys don't flee with the children until Daemon and Aemond are both killed at the God's Eye. I'm not arguing F&B is well plotted or anything, but this makes even less sense to me. Yes, Aemond is obviously a danger to Aegon, but given how badly wounded Aegon is, I would think making a run for Essos would be just as perilous. Also, as a side note, I feel like they threw in the tidbit about Aegon's genitals being destroyed in the fire as a joke and not really a commentary on disability. It felt very 'Theon gets kicked in the groin in GoT but it doesn't affect him'.

I do like the bit with Jace, Ulf, and Hugh. Ulf is an asshole, but I don't think he actually hates Jace. In his view, he and Jace are now nearly equals, and he believes Jace should spitefully embrace his non-Targaryen looks as a general 'fuck you' to the proponents of pureblooded Valyrian legitimacy. Ulf seems to look on Jace as a moody younger cousin, rather than a superior, which obviously enrages Jace and baffles Ulf, who knows the Blacks cannot afford to have him or Hugh hanged for disrespect.

I don't like the insistence in this episode that Helaena has never enjoyed dragon riding. Even if we argue that Helaena has always been tormented by visions of the death and suffering dragonfire will bring to Westeros, one would still think she'd welcome flight as a brief opportunity to escape the social pressures and loneliness of her life as a princess and now queen. Dragonriding alone could not save Helaena from being a victim, but I think the show would be better served to show that Helaena still is a Targaryen and still feels the temptation of her dragon, beyond her just sitting on the sidelines brooding in silence.

Rhaenyra is just now sending an envoy to Daemon? I understand her fear of looking even weaker by publicly displaying her concern for Daemon’s loyalty, but this is kind of absurd at this point. Why not have her go to Harrenhal directly? Obviously she no longer trusts Daemon, but does she think he'd kill her outright if she publicly confronted him? And tank his own chances to be accepted as a king? By now Daemon is well aware he would be an unpopular, mistrusted ruler.

I understand Alicent not wanting Helaena to act as a dragonrider for the war, but I don't understand why Alicent isn't urging Helaena to go with her and Jaehaera on dragonback to Oldtown. That would seem the obvious choice of refuge. We know Alicent adores Daeron and loves her brother. Why not go there, if she's at the point where she believes she should abandon King's Landing and that her sons are a lost cause?

Like I said last episode, Daemon's hallucinations have run their course. I disagree with the decision to have his loyalty to Rhaenyra be fueled by sudden visions of the future of House Targaryen- Daemon has never given a damn about the past or the future. He lives for the present and his pride in his ancestry only serves to make him feel superior, not because he firmly believes in fate or destiny or prophecy. This feels like the writers backed themselves into a corner- they explored Daemon's bitterness and doubt in Rhaenyra so much that their only choice to have him stay loyal was to fling prophetic dreams at him until he backs down. What they should have done is have Daemon realize that as unpopular as Rhaenyra is due to her gender, the rumors about her cuckoldery, and the murder of Jaehaerys- he is still more disliked and unpopular, because everyone who works under him sees him for the sleazy bastard he is. Have him angrily recommit to Rhaenyra not out of some newfound appreciation for the weaving of the fates, but because he literally has no other option- and because part of him still loves her.

Addam and Alyn are implied to have had a much more comfortable upbringing in F&B than they are on the show, but I appreciate the show for actually having Corlys get called out on his shitty parenting. He genuinely loves his children, but he was willfully deluded about Laenor's desires, he was willing to marry Laena off to a man old enough to be her grandfather when she hadn't even hit puberty yet, and his obsession with his legacy has led to the destruction of his own family. So it's nice to see Alyn call him out for it and refuse to let Corlys pretend to be the good guy here.

I can buy Alicent being willing to completely disown Aemond at this point. She's repeatedly expressed horror and contempt for his actions ever since he murdered Lucerys, and she knows he is willing to kill his own siblings to maintain his power. What I can't buy is her just dismissing the guilt she feels over pressuring Aegon into claiming the throne, abandoning Daeron and Gwayne, and being willing to trust that Rhaenyra's allies wouldn't harm her, Helaena, and Jaehaera. Even if she does believe Rhaenyra still loves her and wouldn't see her hurt, are we supposed to think Alicent trusts Daemon? Or Mysaria? Or the rest of Rhaenyra's advisors and dragon riders? I don't agree with the people berating Alicent as this shitty, evil mother- she never wanted her marriage or her children, and she's tried to show compassion towards them regardless. However, I do think it's inane to write her as having zero anger or resentment towards the Blacks, being willing to forget Jaehaerys' murder, and trusting that Rhaenyra will be able to shield her and Helaena from Daemon. Obviously we know from Fire & Blood that Rhaenyra would end up taking Alicent and Helaena prisoner regardless once the Blacks take the city, but I feel like the writing has swung around from portraying Alicent as bitter and disillusioned to portraying Alicent as willfully stupid.

Finally, at this point, if they are going to give Rhaena Nettles' plotline, I would rather they just fucking commit to it, rather than forestalling it for season 3. Because the effect is that her development during season 2 feels pointless if we stop short of her, you know, actually seizing a dragon for herself. Overall, I think this was the weakest episode of season 2 by far, and while I still think the first half of the season was much stronger and more cohesive than season 1, it sucks that they ended on such a muddled, confusing note. Wouldn't give this more than a 4.5/10.

[maidragoste]

hi hi hi hi before i start i hope your doing well i literally jump of joy when i say you post it ,a new chapter of the parents trap and it got me thinking about the queen and her husband

so we know that she survived the war by her younger brothers sides and that she feels guilty that she survived and not the others . given what we know that Aemond had a bastared by aly’s we also know that she is a witch . i was thinking that maybe the kid star it to practice witchcraft and star it to experiment with vision (like aly’s) and so he practice this and the queen sadly became a victim of this (TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT THE KID IS YOUNG AND BARLY NOWS HOW WITCH CRAFT WORKS) and she gets the Daemon treatment .

it be so interesting to see how she would react to those vision and how would they be again THIS IS BY ACCIDENT HE DIDT MEEN TO GET THE QUEEN INVOLVED IN THIS MESS , HIS JUST A KID WE DONT HATED HIM HES INNOCENT

hiii anon how are you? i'm happy that you enjoy my writing 🥰💖

okay i didn't expect the msg to end with this idea but it's very interesting!

honestly for me the visions are not only about Alys but also about the castle but that's just my hc lol

personally i don't see Aelor wanting to do magic bc he doesn't want to have things in common with Alys since everyone hates her BUT i think he could be convinced to try to do some magic if his siblings insist on it. i feel like Alyssa finds out that Aelor's mom was a witch so she tells him that he can probably do magic too. and then everyone starts to tease him because of course they want to see magic.

i'm not going to go into how Aelor ends up accidentally giving the queen visions and instead i'm going to talk directly about who he would have the visions with.

The first thing I thought of when I was reading your idea was THE QUEEN HALLUCINATING ABOUT JACAERYS.

HE IS THE GHOST THAT ALWAYS HAUNTS HER SO OF COURSE SHE ALLUCINATES ABOUT HIM.

Just imagine the Queen thinking she is having a conversation with Jacaerys and suddenly his place is taken by Aegon or Aemond. She feels confused and devastated because for a moment she felt like her best friend, her brother was back with her. Then she starts seeing him everywhere. Jace sitting on the iron throne, Jace sitting with her at dinner, Jace playing with the children.

Think of the Queen hearing the laughter of a baby, not just any laughter but that of Daenera, her first daughter. She runs until she finds her in a room. She is not alone, there is Lucerys and Joffrey tickling her and before the Queen can get close to them, the vision ends and she is alone.

Think of the Queen in the middle of a council meeting and turning pale as she sees Rhaenyra enter and sit in Aegon's place.

Think of the Queen watching her children sword fighting with Daemon at her side whispering to her how Baelon is going to end up like him, how her children are destined to end up suffering.

Think of the Queen braiding Jaehaera's hair when Helaena appears and begins to complain about the queen taking her place.

Poor Queen

Anyway anon, I hope you liked my answer and that you are well 🤗. If you have more thoughts don't hesitate to write me again 🥰💖💖

[nikosdaydreams]

The amount of people I see claiming that HELAENA was at fault for B&C is astounding, and these are the same people who claim to be "anti-misogyny" because their fav had to suffer through it, but when she perpetuates it to her "sweet sister" and her stepmother, she's a girlboss?

Newsflash, blaming a woman for the actions of her male relatives to justify violence to said woman is in fact misogyny!

"Oh, well Helaena should have moved with her kids and Dreamfyre to Dragonstone to be with Rhaenyra!" Ignoring the immediate problems with that, why would Helaena leave her mother, brothers and husband, and her home, for her half-sister and her weirdo husband who will probably take the initiative and kill her and her children in her sleep? (Not to mention she will probably be found and returned home before she even gets there - the Greens have a lot of dragons)

"Helaena should have joined Team Black!" I'm sorry, come again, join the team that had no qualms in suggesting to torture her already-mutilated brother? Join the team that would more likely than not arrange "unfortunate accidents" for her family the moment Rhaenyra sat the throne, hoping to eliminate the threat that their very EXISTENCE poses to her power? Join the team that forced her to choose between Jaehaerys and Maelor or Jaehaera would be raped, and killed her six-year-old son right in front of her? The level of delusion people possess to think that Helaena should just ignore all the bad things that Team Black have done is astounding, especially as she is a victim of it.

"But Aegon threw a party, etc etc etc!" But this is not about Aegon. Jaehaerys was as much Aegon's as he was Helaena's, yes, but if his assassination was to hurt Aegon, it would have been over in less than a minute. One clean swipe, and they would be done. But they did it to hurt Helaena. They laughed at her as she begged for them to kill her instead. They forced her to choose, and left her in incredible guilt when they ignored her choice. Also, if they wanted to hurt Aegon, or Team Green, why not kill Aegon, the one who threw the party in Luke's killer's honour? Why not kill Aemond, Luke's actual killer? They targeted Helaena, because they knew it would break her. You will never ever find me supporting B&C, or Daemon for that matter.

Lastly, Luke and Jaehaerys's deaths were BOTH horrible events, and it's understandable to, you know, not celebrate children's deaths? But they were also incredibly different. Luke's death (going from the show here) was not intended. Yes, Aemond is at fault for going at him with a big scary highly sensitive sentient nuclear missile, but you can see why he thinks he is safe. He doesn't really think that Vhagar would properly attack Luke and Arrax, because he is the one in control. At that moment, it's not even about Luke's eye. It's about power. Scaring Luke shitless after years having to adapt around his disability that Luke caused and held no remorse for would have sounded like a great idea for Aemond. (And even if it was about Luke's eye, I'm pretty sure the yelling "No, Vhagar!" and looking mortified would be a telltale sign of "Oh, shit, that did not go to plan")

Meanwhile, Jaehaerys's death was intentional, not only as a blow to the Greens, but as a heavy one to his mother. I don't need to repeat everything I've basically already said, but long story short, the Blacks meant every piece of damage they did to Helaena.

Finally, I want to say, I love Luke. I am sad that he died. I still blame Aemond for following his little baby dragon with a massive weapon of war. But if I hear a specific part of Team Black justifying B&C because "a son for a son" and that BS, justifying the trauma inflicted on Helaena, Alicent, Jaehaera, and Maelor because "Team Black > Team Green", I will lose it.

TL;DR: Helaena and Jaehaerys are innocent and didn't deserve to be attacked. Just because one is Team Black does not mean they are anti-misogyny. Daemon is not a girlboss for murdering children.

[francesminos-tt]

I have no idea how to put this into context, but I hope you can understand it.

Joffrey survives the fall and becomes king of the Seven Kingdoms, but he is emotionally broken beyond repair.

He tries his best to live and look after his brother Aegon who has also been affected by the war. (Joffrey might have severely injured a leg and uses crutches to get around better)

Daeron is also alive, but he is a prisoner.

I can't remember if you wrote something like this, but Joffrey visits Daeron. He hates himself every time. He hates Daeron too. This man who helped to indirectly kill the people Joffrey loved the most. Joffrey also feels the guilt burning inside him and boiling his blood. The shame for giving himself over to someone so filthy, a traitor.

Joffrey lets Daeron fuck him. He doesn't understand why, he could have a thousand lovers, but he can't allow anyone to touch him if no one does. it hurts. Joffrey will soon have to get married and he won't allow this to continue, but for now he enjoys it.

When they come, Joffrey feels sick and so good. He wants to die, but it's also one of the only moments he feels alive.

It takes weeks before the next visit. (I love reading Daeron in love and suffering from almost unrequited love.) Joffrey self-blame. He's cursed himself. He tries to be strong, but he isn't. Not anymore.

The context is actually sad boy Joffrey hating himself for having hot and sentimental sex with his uncle

I am not sure if the sex is hot enough, but. Enjoy.

Sitting on the iron throne was not as pleasant as most nobles thought. The seat was uncomfortable, to say the least, and the blades surrounding it were menacing and unkind, as if waiting to seek revenge from the decedents of the conqueror. The iron was bone-chillingly cold, enough to freeze Joffrey’s blood no matter how many layers he wore. Sitting on the throne was a punishment, rather than an achievement.

“Your grace, ravens from various ports came this morning, all of them reporting strange deaths of sailors its harbor area. It might be the result of an unknown plague.”

“Disputes of inheritance in the Vale is raising more concerns, your grace. Which claimant should the throne support, your grace? Ser Joffrey or Ser Arnold?”

“Will it please your grace to reconstruct the Dragon Pit?”

“We don’t have the coins yet, Lord Treasurer.”

“Well, gold from Lannisport should arrive anytime now. We can also make loans from the iron bank or the bank of Lys. I heard that Old Town has formed its own bank too.”

“My lords, forgive my bluntness, but I think the most important matter right now is to secure a marriage pact for our king. We need heirs. Or the succession conflict will never end.”

All the arguing lords fell silent, and directed their gaze to their king. Joffrey, first of his name, king of the Andals, the Rhoynars and the First Men, lord of the seven kingdoms and protector of the realm, sat on the iron throne with a grim face.

“Enough.” Joffrey said, clenching his jaw, “I have already addressed the matter of marriage, my lords. My young brother Aegon is already betrothed to Jaehaera. I am sure they will become a lovely couple when they come of age. The throne has its successor.”

“But you are the king, your grace.” The Hand, Lord Manderly said on behalf of his fellow council, “We need your heir, not your brother’s. Perhaps your grace will honor your late brother, Prince Jacaerys’s decision.”

The northern lord’s intention couldn't be clearer. Joffrey was betrothed to Lady Manderly as part of the pact Jace had made to earn White Harbor’s support, and now the Hand wanted the king to make true of the pact. Lord Manderly’s words were no surprise to Joffrey; what surprised him was the reaction of the other lords. They seemed to agree with the Hand. The small council seemed to have formed an alliance to push Joffrey into making decisions that the king might not want to make.

“I will,” Joffrey spoke, gripping the throne a little too tightly, “consider it.”

Holding a council in the throne room was a tiresome thing. Joffrey wanted to do it in the council room, as all the former kings did, but all his council suggested that he should be seen sitting on the throne as often as possible. Joffrey had no choice but to agree.

Sometimes, Joffrey felt he was not a king, rather a prisoner, trapped in this gilded castle.

Joffrey spent the rest of the day in his room. He read, wrote some personal letters to Rhaena and Baela, and took a long, hot bath. He skipped the dinner and dismissed all his maids and guards early, for he was too tired and wanted an undisturbed sleep.

“The tunnels are piled with traitors’ corpses.” Joffrey said to his personal guard, “They are enough to scare away any assassin.”

Joffrey slipped out of his bedchamber in a black cloak half an hour after midnight. He headed downstairs, quiet as a cat, grim as a ghost. Despite having no torches to light his way, Joffrey still moved swiftly, as if he was so familiar with this route that he could get to his destination with his eyes closed.

Joffrey went down and down, until he arrived at the heavy door leading to the most gruesome part of the Red Keep. The Black Cell.

There was another reason why Joffrey didn't bring a torch. The Black Cell was so dark that any light source in it would draw unnecessary attention. Joffrey slipped through the door, went down the narrow corridor, and finally arrived at his destination.

“Uncle.” Joffrey murmured, his voice soft, but in the dead silence of the Black Cell, it sounded more like a desperate cry than a soft murmur.

The shadowy figure in the far end of the cell jolted up, stumbling to the sound source.

“Joff?” the figure came to Joffrey, hands on the cell bar, “You came.”

Joffrey hesitated for a moment, before reaching his hand up to touch the dirty and cold fingers on the cell bar. The fingers were rougher than he remembered.

“Yes,” Joffrey said, barely a whisper, “long time no see, Uncle Daeron.”

In the darkness of the Black Cell, the light violet eyes of Daeron Targaryen shone with anticipation and relief, brighter than the purest amethyst.

Joffrey wouldn't call his irregular visit to the Black Cell therapy, though it was, by every means, a therapy session including long and sentimental sex. Daeron was a war criminal, destined to rot in the deepest and darkest part under the Red Keep. Few people knew of his existence, for Daeron was a threat to Joffrey’s claim. If the Green supporters knew Daeron was still alive, the realm would plunge into another civil war. Joffrey could not allow or afford for it to happen.

“I lost count of time since your last visit.” Daeron whispered in Joffrey’s ear, his breath reek of blood and lack of hygiene, “There is no light here. I have no way to track the days.”

“That’s purpose of the Black Cell, uncle.” Joffrey replied, “It is designed to drive you mad.”

“Maybe, but it won't work on me.” Daeron kissed the sensitive skin behind Joffrey’s ear, “I have you. You are the anchor of my sanity. Expecting to see you again is the only thing that keeps me alive.”

Joffrey had no reply for that. Daeron was better dead than alive for the good of the realm, and Joffrey hated himself for his quickening heartbeat after hearing Daeron’s confession. He shouldn’t be excited, or proud. He wasn’t allowed to.

Daeron’s kisses were soft, like a gentle drizzle that enveloped Joffrey in a comforting bubble. Joffrey shivered when Daeron’s hand slip into his cloak, the blonde’s rough fingers dancing on his bare skin. Joffrey didn’t wear anything under the thick cloak; he presented himself like a fair maiden to a noble prince, not a sad king to his prisoner. Perhaps, in another life, they could fuck in the comfort of his bedchamber. They could have wine and a nice dinner. Joffrey would stoke enough firewood in the hearth to last forever. They could chat, laugh and wrestling with each other until they ended up on the carpeted floor. Then they would kiss, undressing each other slowly and sensually, taking their time to explore each other’s body. They would fuck on the floor, on the armchair, in bed, on the window sill, everywhere.

“You are distracted.” Daeron said, returning to kiss the corner of Joffrey’s mouth, “Something is bothering you, my king.”

Joffrey reached a hand up to stroke Daeron’s shaved head. Joffrey had ordered to shave the prisoner’s head as soon as Daeron was thrown into the Black Cell. It prevented the lice, and it would be easier to conceal Daeron’s true identity.

“There is an unknown plague breakout in port cities. The Vale is about to plunge into its own civil war. Reconstruction of the Dragon Pit can’t start without the coin, but the Red Kraken is making it difficult to carry the gold back from Lanniport.” Joffrey repeated all the council topics today; he had to clear them from his head, or he would explode. “And they want me to marry.”

Daeron’s hand reached Joffrey’s lower belly. He grabbed Joffrey’s cock without hesitation, gently pulling the skin on top before giving it a good stroke. Joffrey’s breath caught in his throat, the sensation foreign and familiar at the same time. Foreign because Joffrey had been touched for more than two months now; familiar because Joffrey dreamed of the same thing almost every day since his last visit. Daeron’s palm was so large and so warm, like a shelter reserved only for him. Joffrey hated himself for being weak under Daeron’s skillful hands, but he couldn't help it. He needed to feel safe, if only for a brief time in the place that most would consider dangerous.

“You can marry me,” Daeron said half-jokingly, “I am of noble blood. I can serve you, my king, better than anyone ever could.”

“I am afraid it's not my decision to make.” Joffrey replied, neither agreeing nor denying Daeron’s suggestion.

“You are the king,” Daeron reminded him as the blonde continued to stroke his cock, “your task to choose the best solution, not to come up with one.”

“That’s a…” Joffrey trailed off, moaning slightly as Daeron’s finger ran over the tip of his twitching cock, “nice way to put it.”

“Believe it or not,” Daeron said, his movement becoming quicker and rougher, “I spent more time with a king than you did.”

Joffrey cried out as he came, trembling in Daeron’s arms like a lone tree in the harsh wind of winter. His vision went blank for a second, before the darkness of the Black Cell resumed. Joffrey was still trembling when Daeron flipped him over, pinned him on the dirty ground and pushed a finger in his closed hole. Joffrey hissed in pain, but Daeron paid him no mind. Daeron’s previous tenderness was gone, replaced by a harshness typical of a Targaryen.

Daeron pushed another finger in, then another, and another. In Joffrey’s pathetic cries, his hole was stretched to its limit with only his own seeds as lubrication. Joffrey twisted on the straw pads on the stone floor, his hands trying desperate to hold on to something, anything that could keep him there. What were all the straws for? Joffrey wondered abruptly. Were they to keep the prisoner warm? Or provide better hiding place for rats so they could feast on the prisoner’s flesh?

“I am going to fuck now, nephew.” Daeron said before he thrust into Joffrey in one go.

Joffrey squeezed his eyes shut. He might have cried, or not. He didn’t know. All his senses were reduced to one place, his hole. He could only feel the pulsing cock inside him, filling him to the brim and making him whole. It hurt. Oh, how it hurt, but Joffrey welcomed the pain. It was the only thing to make him feel alive.

Something soft touched his hand, and Joffrey finally opened his eyes. He was lying on his stomach, the cloak under him, protecting his skin from the rough straw. His butt was lifted to meet Daeron’s crotch, the blonde hugging him from behind, his back to Daeron’s chest. Daeron’s hand was on top of his, their fingers intertwined together on the floor, like a sailor’s knot tied so tightly that it was impossible to separate them.

“I love you, Joffrey.” Daeron whispered in Joffrey’s ear as he pounded into the brunette’s body. He kept kissing Joffrey’s nape, nibbling on the fluffy curls cascading down there.

Daeron sounded sincere, but Joffrey couldn't answer. Joffrey dishonored the throne and the legacy of his mother by just coming here and offering himself like a whore to a Green. But Daeron was the only one who truly understood how much he had been through. They had both lost their loved ones in the war, and they both still had people to care for. Joffrey had to protect Aegon, the only surviving brother to his knowledge, and Daeron had to protect Jaehaera, the only remaining one who shared his blood. They were both dragon riders who had lost their dragons. They had both been princes. They were both third sons.

Joffrey could go on, but the thing was, Daeron was the only one who understood. He never asked Joffrey to release him, because he knew his existence would raise havoc. He just stayed here, in a cramped cell stinking of piss, and waited for Joffrey’s visit. Just as he had said earlier, he would have gone mad a long time ago if not for Joffrey’s visits. They needed each other to stay sane.

Joffrey bit his lower lip and let out a muffled moan in his throat. He spread his legs further to give Daeron more access. He could not speak, neither could he give Daeron any hope or promise, but he knew Daeron would understand.

They came at the same time. Joffrey’s cock spilled hot seeds on the cloak, while Daeron emptied his load inside Joffrey. They stayed there for a moment before Daeron pulled out, letting the sticky liquid leak from Joffrey’s breathing entrance.

As the euphoria faded, Joffrey began to feel incredibly cold. The cold spread from inside him, like a needle pricking at his veins. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed being fucked by Daeron, the murderer of three dragons and a Green leech. How dishonorable of him. He was not fit to rule. That was why he had cut himself on the iron throne today.

“I hate you.” Joffrey said, determined not to let the tears fall, “I fucking hate you. You can die in the most painful way, but it will still not be enough to make up for your crime.”

“I know.” Daeron said after a long pause, “See you later, Joffrey.”

When Joffrey went back to his room, he wondered whether Daeron had understood the true meaning of his curse. By hating Daeron, he actually hated himself.

Joffrey was confident that Daeron would.

[whitegownsandflowercrowns]

Random Specific Things I Predict/Want To Happen In Season 3

Rhaena doesn't know if she wants to be or be with Nettles.

Rhaena gets into an argument with Daemon and Rhaenyra that ends up with her asking them where they were the night of Laena's funeral and just absolutely unleashing on them for that (and everything else).

A...certain torture that Tyland suffers is done by Daemon specifically as punishment for kidnapping his sons.

Helaena and Rhaena become friends.

Because of that, when Helaena jumps and King's Landing descends into rioting, Rhaena runs away with Jaehaera to honor Helaena's memory.

Emily Carey cameo at Harrenhal.

Elliot Grihault cameo at Harrenhal (yes I am aware that he has visibly aged past Luke but just put him in a bunch of dragon burn and bite prosthetics and he'll be fine).

Dyana is re-hired by Rhaenyra and then escapes to Dragonstone at the end of the season with Rhaenyra, Alicent, Aegon III & Elinda (therefore putting her in the perfect place to serve Aegon II the poisoned wine in Season 4).

Multiple Daemon/Helaena interactions.

Larys and Aegon get stuck in Dragonstone because of the Battle of the Gullet, never make it to Braavos, and have to disguise themselves until Sunfyre is revealed to be alive and they can claim Dragonstone.

Multiple Alicent/Daemon interactions.

Multiple Alys/Helaena interactions in that weird fourth dimension space.

The Battle Above God's Eye is a joint murder-suicide.

This might be too mean but Criston gets a redemption arc but it's too late. He does the whole speedrunning therapy in Harrenhal thing, but it doesn't matter. The dragons dance, and men are like dust under their feet - he was never going to survive this. He realizes that he's become better, and that none of it is going to matter. (I like him, so this isn't coming from malice, I just think it would be heartbreaking and fitting for him).

Helaena jumps knowing full well what's going to happen once she does.

[wcrriorhearts]

jaehaera doesn't know if her father loves her. for a while she thought he does, but a lot of things have chanced since and she cannot say that it is of any importance to her anymore. not many things are. even though she has not reached her mother's level of despair yet, jaehaera is still suffering. it is a quiet, lonely kind of suffering that goes unnoticed most days, but it has drained all joy and happiness from her. this is what ghosts must feel like, the girl thinks. still there, but also dead, especially on the inside. she makes a noise that could have been a huff or a hum, not willing to dive into the topic of her father. her mother is already so far gone, she really doesn't want to bother her with any more negative thoughts than necessary, knowing the young queen has enough of them as it is.

when her mother wraps her into an embrace, the ice around jaehaera's heart thaws, just a bit. she knows that physical touch doesn't come naturally to the queen and has learned to live without it, understanding that her mother shows affection in other ways. as a little girl, she didn't grasp it just yet and would demand to be held, but she no longer does that. if offered, however, jaehaera accepts it more than willingly and so she melts into the comfort of her mother's body, burying her face against her shoulder. her little heart aches, because she loves her so much and still it feels like there is nothing she can do to save her. even though hera doesn't have her mother's foresight, she doesn't need to be a dragon dreamer to see her decline.

when her mother draws back, hera opens her eyes again and musters her face, nodding. "i'll stay", she promises, words barely more than a whisper. her hand reaches out and cups her mother's cheek, gently stroking it. the queen is an odd person, in the grand scheme of things, but to jaehaera she is the most beautiful person alive. no one, especially not her, deserves to suffer so much. it occurs to her that they have not spoken since the dreadful day her twin was taken, at least not properly. "i'm sorry, mama. they should have picked me", she says softly, tears welling up in her eyes. as a girl, she doesn't matter, not really. her parents lost their heir, when they could have just lost her instead. maybe her mother wouldn't be so distraught then.

although aegon's visit was surely not exactly what jaehaera wanted a little girl like her would expect more from her father and yet still forgive him if he did not live up to those expectations. helaena knows firsthand from her own experiences with her father. her chest aches at the thought of her daughter vying for more attention from both of them. at least when helaena was a child, her mother was with her every step of the way. she wanted to be that for jaehaera. she did. with every fiber of her being. but there were times where it seemed impossible. where it felt as if the world would eat her whole if she left this room. it was not fair and she knew it.

" your father loves you, " helaena murmurs. she winces, as if the idea of explaining to jaehaera that the pair of them did not know how to showcase that love was nothing more than an excuse. perhaps it was. they could both be better. the mention of maelor causes her to frown. helaena does not remember the last time she saw him. the days have begun to blur. but she does remember that he came alongside her mother. though it saddens her that no one has thought to treat jaehaera with the same love and care. being older, there was no doubt to helaena that she retained much more than her younger brother. the features upon her countenance soften at her words, and it is without thinking that she wraps the little girl in her arms. her head rests atop the soft crown of silver hair, and helaena allows her eyes to close.

despite feeling as if she is slipping away with each passing moment, being with jaehaera was the only thing that made it feel as if she was present. " i love you, " she returns, trembling fingers raking through her hair as if to reassure her that for now, she was here. right now, jaehaera could count on her to be here for her. helaena pulls away, searching her little girl's gaze. " stay in here tonight, " helaena offers, though it sounds more akin to a plea.

[ladymorghul]

Hi, I hope you're doing well! I have to say your blog is one of my fave hotd blogs, your headcanos never fail to give me a boost of serotonin. I'd love to know your thoughts about the theory that helaena's children might be aemond's? I was initially a very big fan of it and I believe it has a good chance of becoming canon, but after reading some opinions on the matter, and as a fellow tgc's aegon enjoyer I am now conflicted, people are arguing that if the theory was true it'd take away from aegon's much needed character development and that aemond doesn't need that extra layer of suffering after the b&c incident, he will already feel immense guilt over it especially cuz Luke's death was an accident so adding the 'he's actually the children's father!' thing might be too much and just so the an eye for an eye, a son for a son hits harder. And I also wonder how that might work with him later meeting and fathering a child with Alys, although that all depends on how they plan to portray their relationship on the show. All in all I think it's an interesting theory to discuss. I'm sorry it turned into a messy rambling! I needed to get it out of my chest

hey! thank you very much for the kind words! i hope you're well as well! and ay, haha, that's honestly so sweet of you to say i'm so happy my ramblings over here resonate with you <3

tbh this answer will be controversial and you and others might not like it but since you asked.... i'll answer to the best of my ability. my thoughts on this are all over the place so you'll get some messy ramblings as well. sorry for that :/

i do not take issue with aemond x helaena as a ship for my own personal reasons, and everyone is welcome to have their own opinion on it. but i do think aemond x helaena as a ship is separate from the theory of aemond fathering helaena's children.

personally, i don't like the idea of aemond fathering helaena's children because it would really put the greens in a bad light. aemond judges rhaenyra for her bastard children and alicent thinks it's an insult what rhaenyra did with laenor and harwin, so to have aemond not just father bastards of his own, but by doing so delegitimizing aegon's children as heirs (with or without aegon's knowledge and consent) would turn them into big hypocrites.

is there something to be said about the irony of life? yes, but i think this would be a bit too much considering other things that the greens already have working against them in this war. and aemond knows very well what this would mean for his entire family and i don't think he would want that.

i don't think them being aemond's children would have taken that much from aegon's angst, but i do agree it's not really necessary to add that to aemond's already immense guilt towards his nephew, his sister, her children, alicent and aegon himself.

but they better utilize aegon appropriately in relation to b&c otherwise it's gonna be wasted.

that being said.... would that be the first time this story has an extra layer of suffering that was not that necessary? jaehaera targaryen, as part of peace terms, is forced to marry the son of the man who killed her brothers and drove her mother to suicide and then later, without producing heirs of her own, she dies in a similar manner to her mother, except she suffers in agony for half an hour. so i'm not writing it off just on the basis of it not being necessary because it's obvious the trauma in this story is on steroids.

but, imho, aemond's own relationship with alys later strikes me as hypocritical because afaik she is a bastard. maybe it's the idea that the irony of life made aemond fall in love with a bastard but idk... and she's so much older than him + i hear conflicting perspectives on their relationship. which is why i don't wanna say too much on this relationship at all and i'll have to wait and see how the show presents it. all i'll say is that they'll have to do some layering with this relationship because if it just happens with no context to the audience many will see aemond as a hypocrite.

as for helaena and aemond.... do i want helaena to have some smidge of happiness in her life with aemond? yes. do i think they're gonna make it happen? i don't know. every day i alternate between "maybe" and "probably not". but this is not about aemond being the children's father, but about them having a special relationship seeking comfort in each other. obviously, that doesn't mean it has to be romantic, but sue me, sometimes i see it as such. i can see it as both platonic, brotherly, etc. and separately when i want as romantic.

i’m gonna watch the story regardless of this is gonna be romantic or not. i just hope we get to see more of all of the green kids. 

[horizon-verizon]

Aegon III and Jaehaera “healing together” would be like:

Jaehaera: I miss my father.

Aegon III, having a PTSD trigger: Well, I miss my mother! AND YOU KNOW WHO GRUESOMELY KILLED MY MOTHER WHILE I WAS WATCHING ?!

Jaehaera: And I miss my twin brother! AND YOU KNOW WHO SEND THE MEN WHO BEHEADED HIM IN FRONT OF ME & MY MOM ?!

Aegon III: Nothing would have happened if your grandmother didn’t usurped my mother and your uncle didn’t ruthlessly murdered my brother.

Their marriage would have been SOOO INCREDIBLY UGLY, BITTER, MISERABLE AND HOPELESS. That union never stood a chance. Aegon III spent about 3 years married to her and never made any attempt to befriend her and had more interactions with Unwin Peake’s daughter than her. They wouldn’t have any children, he’d abdicate in favor of Viserys if he didn’t marry Daenaera and then locked himself in a tower.

Yeah, I agree. I understand that the real English War of the Roses that war/sub-battles ended with a happier and successful marriage between the two warring houses of York and Lancaster so it seems that Aegon III and Jaehaera could have also had a great marriage--or at least a civil one with a lot of kids/heirs. However, though yes we had the structure of "one child of the two warring families marry for peace" of the War of Roses, the Dance was modeled and takes inspiration from the Anarchy, where Empress Matilda fought against her male cousin, Stephen of Blois, for the English throne. Where the conflict was strictly about who deserves the throne: the female declared heir or the eldest male relative? And who will obtain it, who fights for them, who suffers, etc.

Plus Henry VII of the Plantagenet branch of Tudor (through Jon of Gaunt) & Elizabeth of the house of York--the people who married each other while from the opposing houses after the Battle of Bosworth Field--were both relatively healthy adults AND Henry actually won the throne through his own leadership in battle after killing Richard II (her paternal uncle). The same uncle whose mainly held responsible for Elizabeth's younger brothers' disappearances. So Henry & Elizabeth had a way better beginning than Aegon III & Jaehaera.

Even with the Anarchy, GRRM doesn't transfer all of the events or major ones/results into his fiction. The conclusion of the anarchy was still a woman being passed over: Stephen won and got to rule but Empress Matilda's son--Henry Plantagenet-- was designated as the next to rule in the Treaty of Wallingford. But she wasn't brutally murdered in front of said son like Rhaenyra; yet despite Stephen's efforts his own sons never sat the throne like Aegon; yet the war ravaged England as the Dance did Westeros enough that in both the lords/barons sought peace above all AND Matilda lost the throne.

GRRM seemed to want to capture the sense of futility of the war's destruction (not its cause though, not absolutely) with how it should have never happened to begin with from a place of usurping a woman. There was no happy-dappy marriage or even an attempt at one in the real thing.

Jaehaera was made totally disadvantaged for a reason:

a) making her and Aegon both children in the aftermath of the war, controlled by ambitious adults still who do not have their best interests at heart makes to highlight theie vulnerability and the cause being misogyny and classism leading those in power to declare such wars

b) their parents fighting and destroying each other to the bitter end instead of what occurred in the actual Anarchy

c) the greens pushed for war under the principle of "men only" at the cost of its female members' mental and physical health or putting those in danger (mainly Helaena and Jaehaera) for the sake of power. Jaehaera could have grown up happier and for longer if her own father hadn't decided to calm down and not try to go after several of Rhaenyra's supporters in the way that he was planning to, nor should he have usurped his older sister. He shouldn't have celebrated Lucerys' murder at the feast he threw that was almost certainly part of the inspiration for Blood & Cheese whereby his oldest male heir was killed. His other male heir was put into danger when he, again, usurped Rhaenyra and led armies against her when she had been already declared and ACCEPTED as Viserys heir for years. All he had left was his daughter, but bc the whole point of his claim was "males only" AND he was himself an asshole, he decided to marry again to get another male heir. It was also Alicent who tried to intimidate or persuade her granddaughter to kill Aegon as if the child wasn't already scarred from war and mentally fragile from her disabilities so that she, Alicent, could get revenge against the already dead Rhaenyra. The greens, not the blacks or Rhaenyra, are the main ones at fault for Jaehaera's demise--her death is on their hands since every which way, they chose power over her.

[wcrriorhearts]

"Aemond is not pious", Helaena said and laughed softly at the mere idea, because she knew very well how her younger brother behaved when their parents were not watching. She spent far more time with him than with her husband and would never describe him as such. "He just tells mother what she wants to hear, that is all. I aim to do the same, but most often she doesn't even listen to what I say in general, so the problem solves itself." She shrugged her shoulders and smoothed out the blanket over her legs. There had been a time when Helaena had fought for her mother's and father's attention, had craved their love and support, but eventually that had died down. The Queen tried with her daughter, but could not handle Helaena's oddities very well, so their encounters were most often tense, just like hers and Aegon's. It seemed like no one would ever understand her, or love her for who she was. She had long accepted that she was only worthy of affection when she behaved in a way that pleased the people around her, even if it was far from who she truly was and how she truly felt.

Touch was something she still did not like, but had learned to endure for the sake of others. The twins needed a mother who could give them physical affection and neither her parents, let alone her husband, had ever respected her boundaries, because it did not come natural to them to understand that for her, touch did the exact opposite of comforting her mostly, unless it was one of the rare occasions when she initiated it herself. But that required trust and she shared that with only Aemond. He was mindful of her feelings and tried not to overwhelm her, which she appreciated. "I am rather grateful for this opportunity to excuse myself from religious duties at the moment and once the babe is born, I also won't have time to accompany mother, what a pity. I will give you excuses too, if needed. You will have to support me in caring for three children. It is an important duty", Helaena jested and smiled at Aegon, hoping he would not take that as a slight, given he actually never cared for his children and had little to no interest in them.

"Speaking of which...Jaehaera has requested that for her name day, she wishes to go flying with you", she added carefully, not sure how Aegon would react. The twin's name day was fast approaching and they would turn seven years of age soon. Where had the time gone? She so vividly remembered suffering through the pregnancy and a very traumatic birth with them and now they were half way through their childhood. "Maybe you could make time for that?" She had always tried to encourage Aegon to spend time with them, but he had always found reasons not to. Maybe this time he would find it in his heart to make his daughter's wish come true. If not, the twins were already used to disappointment and she knew they would not say a word about it, even though it would undoubtedly hurt her daughter.

wcrriorhearts​:

She could tell that Aegon was uncomfortable around her and Helaena wondered what she had done to cause this. Even though there was obviously no love lost between them that would define them as husband and wife, she still tried to be civil around him. Tried to include him in her life with the children, though he had always ever just brushed her off and never wanted to be bothered by the twins. There had been a short moment in the beginning of their lives, when she had felt unable to bond with them at all, when Aegon was more interested in them. He had stepped up, if only for a short moment, but it had showed her that he DID care - for some unfathomable reason, however, he felt it necessary to put that aside and feign indifference instead. Their two little ones had given up at this point. Barely seven years of age and they had already learned that love was nothing given out freely and unconditionally in this family and it hurt Helaena’s heart. They both deserved so much better and she was trying hard to give them a better childhood than her own, but just like back when she was a child, their father was not involved.

Her lavender eyes briefly scanned the spines of the books and she smiled a little, noting that he had picked books he knew she would like. One was even about insects. Maybe he did sometimes listen to what she told him, after all. When he accepted her invitation and went over to fill a cup of wine for himself, it almost surprised his wife. She had expected him to more or less politely decline the offer, because his duty here was done. Instead, he settled down at the foot of the bed and looked a little lost again, especially when he spoke about the babe that he had no recollection of bringing into existence. He had told her that much when she announced the pregnancy to him. If only Helaena could also forget the night it was conceived. He had been very drunk then.

“Yes, a bit better. I knew what to expect”, she told him with a nod, trying not to grimace at the memory of her first pregnancy. She had been inconsolable for most of the time, trying to scratch her skin bloody to stop feeling the movements of the babies an the birth had been the most traumatizing experience in her life so far. This time around she had done better, mostly because she had to keep it together in front of the twins. “One is a lot easier to carry than two. Or maybe it is just easier, because I am no longer half a child myself. But I cannot wait to have my body to myself again. It is not pleasant to grow a human.” He probably didn’t want to know that and had only asked to make small talk, but Helaena had no one to share her life with, other than their mother, but even she rarely cared and was very occupied by her new found faith. “I am almost glad for the bed rest, though, boring as it may be. At least now mother cannot force me to the Sept every single morning. I am…objectively happy for her found passion in religion but…It is getting a little out of hand. Be glad she stopped asking you. She was very cross with me the other day, because I fell asleep during prayers.” Maybe they could bond over their somewhat ridiculous family? Helaena doubted he was interested in her personally, but maybe they could laugh about that together. She wanted so badly to gain his trust and make this marriage better for them both, but it was hard.

     “ I can only imagine that it’s not,” came his calm reply, as he raised the cup to his lips. The familiarity of the feeling was immediately soothing, even before the wine hit his tongue. Of course, he knew a cup would not ease him entirely, but it was better than nothing. And he was sure Helaena would be grateful for his self-restraint. As well as his attempt at sympathy. An emotion he hardly granted towards anyone. And really he had little towards something that he felt was as natural as bearing children, but he supposed he would never know what it was like to have something unpleasant occupying his body, so he would offer his condolences. In the only way he knew how. And that was by simply  acknowledging her struggle.

     Amusement took over, then, as she regaled her time at the Sept. In fact, he was glad that their mother ceased her incessant, pestering attempts to make him a good lad of the faith. He had no desire to feign piety as their younger brother did, and such honesty had eventually paid off. Of course, not before she had expressed her disappointment towards him in innumerable different ways, ranging from verbal to physical. The bite of her hand was well-known to his face, but the bite of her words were almost as familiar to his ears as the rim of the goblet was to his lips. Both chasing after each other as the sun chased after the moon. 

   The right corner of his lips curving up and he let out a breath of a laugh. “Perhaps if you do it again, she’ll stop asking you as well.” There was a pause as he thought about his words, and their likelihood. “Mmm, perhaps thrice more and feign illness. That should be plenty to make her give up on you and focus her attention to Aemond The Pious.” Sarcasm dripped from the nickname, the annoyance towards their brother more than clear. But it wasn’t as if he didn’t have a reason to be so annoyed. Aemond was the clear favorite child— or, at least, the favorite son— all because he clamored up their mother’s skirts and did the exact opposite thing that Aegon would do. Like the twat he was. Aegon didn’t even believe Aemond actually gave a shit about the religion, simply doing it for their mother’s favor. Which only irritated the eldest further, because it so clearly worked. “After the babe is out, of course, since, at the moment, you’ve a perfectly good, maester-approved reason to not be dragged to the Sept.”