#he doesn’t know what anxiety is
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AU where everyone finds out Wen Qing helped Jiang Cheng and they all start treating her like their primary care physician
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NHS: *flopping around on the clinic bed like a fish* “You have to help me! I think I’m dying!”
WQ: “Don’t be dramatic. Are you having symptoms?”
NHS: “I always feel like something bad is going to happen and it makes my heart feel like it’s gonna explode!”
WQ: “That’s called anxiety.”
NHS: “What’s anxiety?! Is it terminal?!?!??”
#mdzs#the untamed#mo dao su zhi#mdzs au#mdzs headcanons#mdzs crack#mdzs meme#apple memes 🍎#wen qing#nie huaisang#nhs is literally me bc I actually have really bad health anxiety ahahaHAHAA#he doesn’t know what anxiety is#he doesn’t know he doesn’t know he REALLY DOESNT KNOW#I didn’t either tbf I actually think I’m dying whenever I have a panic attack lmfaooo#incorrect mdzs
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surprised i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this parallel. jacob & delainey’s lil comforting shoulder touches🥺(no wonder everyone always gushes about those two in interviews, how could u not adore them? sweethearts. gaaah this whole cast is so solid <3)
#i really adore and respect when celebs are this earnest#like#when they’re visibly nervous and invested in the fan’s response#that kind of vulnerability#it’s what puts the /feeling/ in it !!#bc that’s how you know they rlly care abt what they’re creating#it’s the magic that moves media from ‘content’ to art#and putting your art out there for the whole world is a scary fkn thing to do!#ppl really don’t appreciate that enough these days#god. i’ll never have enough kudos to give this production#also#not to parasocial on main#(well. this isnt my main lmao)#BUT#it’s so sweet seeing how much more comfortable he (&the whole cast) has become each year#you can seeeee the physical difference in anxiety in just these gifs#i’m glad it seems like the world doesn’t feel so close to ending for him this time around:’)#iwtv#delainey hayles#sam reid#jacob anderson#sdcc#my gifs!#my posts tag:)
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btw this is probably one of the most insane and telling scenes in regards to stewy nd kendall. like the stewy-marcia interaction first off. the way it’s so clearly paralleling kenstewy with logan and marcia. stewy and marcia literally watch their respective persons in silence. also important to note that stewy was one of the first ppl to greet logan when he arrived probably bc he knew that one of the first things logan was going to do was approach kendall and he wanted to get in there first to gauge the situation + logan. but stewy’s concern for kendall in regards to what could happen when he’s in close proximity to logan is so clear and almost synonymous with marcia’s own concern/love for logan at this point. like it seems intentional that they were shown to be like. logan and kendall’s respective partners here
#kenstewy#succession#stewy hosseini#stewy/marcia interaction just in general is insane. like she greeted him with such warmth. you can tell she genuinely fucking likes him.#like that’s soooooo . us brown ppl always win btw !#but also it’s like. the loganmarcia kenstewy parallels you could make…#marcia was the only one to completely understand and unequivocally love logan while knowing exactly who he was and what’s he done. and she#supported him stuck by him etc until he betrayed her#like he grew careless of her and took her for granted. and does that sound familiar? like that happened to my guys kendall and stewy. insane#ALSO throughout this scene you see stewy greet logan and marcia -> watch kendall talk to logan -> see him walking kind of fast in some#direction until caroline approaches him (and even then he doesn’t chat for long at all) -> then finally he finds kendall and sits down to#talk to him. like throughout this whole scene he’s just following kendall around😵💫 like it’s literally a party and he’s like. running after#kendall the whole time. and when he sits down he’s like. hey heard you talked to your dad lol. like he wasn’t 8 feet away watching kendall#intently stood next to marcia while it was happening. like that’s super insane#kind of unrelated but not really but stewy has the worst case of anxiety i’ve ever seen like he’s sooo anxious. he’s mentally ill fr and#i love him with all my heart#stewy#kennystewy#p
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my sweet baby cat nestled up On me instead of just Next to me for the first time in. 7 years of owning him except he chose the backs of my knees to get all cozy on which cannot be comfortable for him and is at least a little awkward for me. he’s so bad at being a cat id rip a car apart with my bare hands for him
#my beautiful son with an anxiety disorder#we got him when he was Maybe a year old like a teenage kitten and we dont know what his life was like before that#but Something happened because he has little kitty ptsd#my weird little freak who doesn’t know how to be normal. i love him so much#its ok mommys a little freak too#he stopped sitting on my legs awkwardly and now has his ass in my face for me to smack it like bongos#wvery year he gets more and more comfortable like i keep thinking hes at his limit of socialization/comfort and he proves me wrong#hes gotten so chatty i keep thinking somethings wrong because im not used to him making so much noise#everyone cheer and clap for him right fucking now
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the absolute lack of media literacy from people who haven’t even seen oppenheimer is making my head spin but whatever
#like - every three seconds it’s someone talking about how it’s us military prop or it doesn’t cover the atrocities well etc etc#when a) it is so definitely NOT us propoganda- it is so clearly critiquing the us military and oppenheimer himself#and b) it doesn’t cover every small detail of the impacts of the bomb bc that’s not what the film is about#it is a screenplay adapted from a biography on oppenheimer#it is about him - a biopic - and how he got to the point of making atomic weapons and ends on a note of undeniable horror#it is a movie that constantly bombards you with anxiety bc you have the burden of knowing the future#it is not in any way forgiving anything - it acknowledges the fucked up nature of the situation#hell it’s mostly a courtroom drama that shows how fucked up mccarthyism was#i’m a big history buff - so this plays a lot into it#but y’all have GOT to just stop seeinf things on a surface level and engage with media w/ a deeper mindset of just ‘thing bad’#anyway - sorry it bothers me a lot#there are genuine criticims that can be leveled at both nolan and this film and i have seen them#im not sitting here calling the end all be all of cinema - but it’s a well made movie w/ something interesting to say and evaluate#not wanting to see it is one thing - by all means - but wringing it through the mud w/ absolutely no knowledge of the actual content of -#the film itself is actively annoying#media literacy#oppenheimer#mini rant
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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SIMS 4 OC LOOKBOOKS: The Drakes - Jess, Sam, Tobin, Natalie, Winnie & Bailey
A new family inbound! When I say new, I mean to the sims lmao, these guys are some of my longest running ocs - from back in the early days! So glad I can finally capture this family all together cus I love them so much! Like father like son for their boy Toby, while Natalie has the most calm mind of all of them - no one knows how that happened. Wouldn’t be complete without their fur babies: Winnie and the now v elderly Bailey! (Bailey has seen every inch of this couples bullshit… she’s v tired) Let me know who’s your favourite!
Ackermans || Rikihisas || Enatsu || Kyutoku || Olalias || Hatakes || ATLA || Ginnivan || Ishimoto
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#jess plays the sims#oc: jess drake#oc: tobin drake#oc: natalie drake#the sims 4#sims 4#my sims#oc sims#uncharted#uc#uc oc#my little disaster fam!#yes Jess is a self insert#no I don’t plan on making her a full oc and change her name etc#there’s like 3 self inserts that I refuse to change tbh#they’re all too heavily developed for me to change their stories now#and considering this Jess’ story is v close to my own… it wouldn’t be right#so let me live my fantasy#anyway here are my fictional children#don’t plan on having real ones so this is the closest I’ll get lmao#tobin is a mini version of his dad but with a bit more of his mum’s temperament#still hot headed and brash but he’s also aloof and full of anxiety - tho he won’t tell anyone but his Mumma#tho his sister can tell a mile away too#they’re v close even tho they bicker#Yknow sibling stuff#natty is just pure#the smart ass and good girl at the same time#knows her value and what she’s capable of - doesn’t back down tbh#can’t wait to build these guys’ house!#I’ve envisioned their home for like… 8 years… holy fuck
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Tossing around the idea of Good Timeline Vat’il having a panic attack after not murdering Isobel
#he doesn’t know why he’s freaking out over not murdering her#but he definitely is djdjdjjdjdjdjd#normal Vat’il would also have panic attacks over disobeying Bhaal- but he usually just. does what he says sjsjjsjs#between enjoying murder. the general anxiety he gets over the mere idea of resisting his urge. and the lack of Tav/the companions to push#him into a better path. normal vat would just do it djdjjdjd#doodle#sketch#oc#Vat’il#Tav’ilin#jaheria#Karlach#wyll ravengard#baldur’s gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 spoilers#bg3#bg3 oc#the dark urge#bg3 durge
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dude i just waited like 10 minutes to meet this famous indonesian director guy. go in. he basically tells me i need to stop having anxiety to become a filmmaker? then dismissed me what the fuck 😭😭😭
#ever think of the circumstances#oh maybe i’m 17 and this is my first job and it’s only my 3rd day and ur like one of the heads of this company and i had no idea i was gonn#be meeting u#YOU FONT KNOW WHAT IM LIKE WHEN IM ON MY OWN FILM SETS LOL#i’m sure my actors can attest that i’m not really shy then#NOT TO MENTION I HAVE THE FUCKING!!!! UNMEDICATED DISORDERS#PLEASE#it just felt very rude to me like he doesn’t know me#he’s just like let’s give this teenager with anxiety useless advice#like stfu#shut up mars
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okay wait i’m thinking about miles feeling a new pressure to be her mom’s perfect son and suppress her transgender thoughts and amp up the toxic masculinity but under the guise of being very comfortable with her masculinity and just wanting to bond with her dad more. But then she feels like she’s just using her dad and tricking him to feel better about herself despite also genuinely wanting to bond more. so she just distances herself from both her parents because she’s failing at being a good son so she doesn’t want to further mess anything up. out of sight out of mind with them. that’s nothing new, but now i want Pavitr to talk to her about it because he’s pretty masculine like the stereotypical masc dude. and nobody really questions that about him because he’s confident. masculinity is subjective and it varies in different areas of the world, pavitr stresses this & how Miles is already masculine in multiple ways that don’t take away from being whatever she’s got going on. and she shouldn’t have to be like. ugh okay look i’m in anguish and agony forever maybe…? do you understand what i’m trying to get at??? pavitr is trying to say that if miles wants to say that she’s doing “boy stuff” then it doesn’t matter what she’s doing, it’s “boy stuff” same with “girl stuff” or just “stuff”???? don’t trap yourself in the box bc that’s how you suffocate and die???
#transfem miles#because what. some guy will look at pavitr’s webshooters and call them girly jewelry. doesn’t mean shit to pavitr bc he knows#that like. bro’s opinion don’t do shit to him#im super . out of it so like i’m bad at explaining#he’s trying to show miles that. look miles is just very trapped in her own head rn. anxiety and shit#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman india#spider man india#m&m posts
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redditors and fakeclaimers in general are losers. you could be the "perfect" archetype of a system and theyd still find a way to fakeclaim you, dont take their opinions to heart. its rough, and easier said than done, but YOU know your experiences better than some asshole on one of the social media apps.
i hope you have a good day :>
Thank youuu
I feel like the whole “fakers/disordered” shit is very similar to the whole “truscum/tucute” arguments on tumblr/reddit that went on in the late 2010’s
#rusty speaks#system tag#love notes#they have a very similar vibe#Ik this is probably gonna be reposted to some subreddit(s) but idc at this point#the arguments on whether certain systems are faking their symptoms or not is stupid as fuck#like y’all don’t know someone’s day to day experiences other than what they post on social media#like yeah I make joke posts about my disorder and so do others#that doesn’t mean I don’t experience the disorientation and anxiety and anger and distress that others with the disorder feel#also I’m cross faded as hell again so I’m more honest that usual#I felt so anxious and stupid switching out with my Husk alter last night while at my friend’s place#I was trying to signal to my bf that we switched but he wasn’t getting it until we locked in enough to text him what was going on#I still feel so bad about telling a woman during an NA meeting “wow! you’ve been sober longer than I’ve been alive!!’’#and hearing “you’ve already told me that’’#shit made me wanna kill myself highkey#anyways toodles or whatever#I need to start writing in a diary again low-key
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Another batch or Mr. Puzzles quick sketches. I kept forgetting to draw his side pocket in the last couple ones. Random character featured in the little comic-ish Live Interview is some version of doodlesona. Can’t guarantee the dialogue will be believable/sound in character for Puzzles because honestly I’m still working on understanding his talking style and when he sarcastically jokes around or when he chooses to be serious and drop performance act. But in the off chance you wanna read it goes from left to right with reading
#GUYS it’s so hard drawing a character who uses his hands to communicate 24/7 jksjsksp PLEASE#my brain doesn’t know what pose to put him at any given time because he keeps SWITCHING inbetween words#he’s so animated and that’s why I love him so much expression and emotion in display#but I don’t like drawing hands at any given time if I can avoid it so screw him jskjso#the last two pages I think I’ve started to get a hang of how his expressions operate#still need to see if I can pull off the full range in my own style tho#and yes I inserted my silly doodle sona in the interview segment hello wazzup lol#although it’s very much a caricature because in reality I have no issues being on film. Been doing that since I was a toddler it’s natural#was even in a production class in high school operating camera equipment like I honestly love it#speaking of that art…still trying my best to figure out how his dialogue is meant to sound?#like I’ve always struggled with writing character dialogue I’m unfamiliar with the style of#thing is I’m good at acting the part if you give me a script to follow and example of tone inflections#but writing it from scratch is a whole nother struggle#so I’m sorry if it doesn’t feel on point I’ll try to get better at analyzing his speech patterns#honestly think I made it too formal sounding here? Or jumbled in some parts because I was stumped on how he’d translate thoughts to words#still fun interaction tho!#like I think he’d try his best to drop a few moments of empathy and try to get someone with anxiety to feel comfortable#but he’s also got the ratings to worry about and can’t afford it being ruined by someone’s anxiety hiccup#so kinda treading the line of being compassionate and giving advice to calm them v.s impatience to get the show rolling#or something idk still trying to analyze him and how he reacts to given circumstances#can you tell I think way too deeply about all this trivial stuff?#doodles#sketches
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How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.
#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go.#blue chatter#it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in#and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be#I know.#I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been#it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up.#it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here.#and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling.#but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means.#‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’#and I know it’s not that the church has changed#if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed.#but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life.#I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted.#God please help me.#I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith
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#ANXIETY!!!!#finished the report (before 1 actually which is i think a new record for me) resume still needs touching up but that’s fine. the real#problem is the program due early friday afternoon and then the other one due monday night neither of which i think i will be able to finish#on time GODD#the one due friday is technically supposed to be a partner project but i have no idea what’s going on there bc our compiler doesn’t allow#you to share files and we don’t have a google doc or anything so ive just been picking at it on my own mostly unsuccessfully. going to text#her tmrw morning to see if she’s made anymore progress on her end bc uh.#then the one due monday i haven’t even started and i know it’s a hellish assignment bc everyone else in my class is struggling w it and mos#of them have been at it for days (i have not been bc band + taking 4 more credits than most of them + theatre stuff etc there’s been no#time 😭 he literally told us not to start it the day before which. i’ll probably be able to start it friday night so not quite that bad but#like. absolutely not good either)#absolutely not looking forward to that. it’s never ending ‼️‼️ and don’t even get me started on auditions friday i don’t think i’ll be able#to practice beforehand… it’s fine#personal#the engineering chronicles#the music chronicles
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Inigo loves Archie so much it kills him inside :’)
#just pav things#I noticed something about their dynamic. or maybe it’s closer to remembered.#See electric guitar on it’s own is not complete without it’s heartbeat. The drums.#My firm belief is that I would not enjoy nearly as many tunes if it weren’t for their dictated pace as well#My best example (and sorry for the predictability) is pq’s F.O.E.. Pay attention to the melody line.#These two instruments are so complementary to each other!#And I think that’s why I made Inigo a drummer way back when#You know Inigo consciously decided on that—#He just wants to be there for Archie he wants to be there WITH Archie#who used to be a guitarist if you recall~#And this is still reflected in more recent incarnations!#He trained himself to be ambidextrous because he thought it would be a cool thing to show off to Archie#He’s so incredibly academically inclined because learning how to speak and do mathematics was how Inigo bonded with him#Being able to show off what he learned and getting the encouragement and congratulations#He admired Archie as an older figure in his life before everything else y’know#He was a literal toddler how was Archie NOT supposed to imprint on him.#After all he paid attention to him#Held him close on cold nights to help him fall asleep. Sharing the warmth of body and breath#And I think this is so crucial to understanding Inigo and events like his hysteria moment#He runs off of so much fear which is driven by his LOVE for those around him#He loves Archus so he’s scared about what effect he had on him after the incident#He loves Cynthia so he maintains his distance so he doesn’t lose her too#And the resulting isolation destroys him. His true heart is left in dormant sleepiness being kept hidden for so long in sheer anxiety :(#Now if only if there was another Dandelion…. ;)
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I’m really starting to feel like Gregor Samsa now
#exjw#going pomo#my mom knows I’m gay and also “opposed” but my dad doesn’t yet so I’m hiding in my room#So naturally I don’t feel well; but I’m going to work anyway because I don’t feel as bad there as I do here#Now all I need is for my dad to throw something at me (I don’t think he would but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did)#I think my mom is hoping that maybe when I start ADHD meds I’ll “come to my senses”#because she asked if I thought my ADHD had anything to do with my decisions#And she went on and on yesterday reading stuff she researched about these specific meds#Like… no? If anything the ADHD meds will make me pack up faster because then I won’t be as inhibited to gtfo#She oddly doesn’t seem as angry/sad as I thought she would; so maybe she hasn’t fully accepted it yet#I start meds tomorrow btw so we’ll see what happens. Hell of a time to be messing with my brain chemistry sjdjdjdjdndndn#This will either make things way better or way worse. We’ll see#I’m just afraid that they’ll make my already VERY high anxiety worse because they are stimulants#the anxiety wasn’t high before but it is now that I’m obligated to tell my dad knowing how much he hates gays#I don’t want to suddenly pass out projectile vomit or shit myself; because that’s what high anxiety does to me#I’ve almost passed out twice because of nerves in the past year in reaction to this situation#one such incident occurring just three days ago… while projectile vomiting
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