#shit made me wanna kill myself highkey

[rustybutterknife]

redditors and fakeclaimers in general are losers. you could be the "perfect" archetype of a system and theyd still find a way to fakeclaim you, dont take their opinions to heart. its rough, and easier said than done, but YOU know your experiences better than some asshole on one of the social media apps.

i hope you have a good day :>

Thank youuu

I feel like the whole “fakers/disordered” shit is very similar to the whole “truscum/tucute” arguments on tumblr/reddit that went on in the late 2010’s

[killjoystuff]

Some songs/interludes have been missed out for a lack of feasible writing prompts, and minor wording changes have been made in places.  Feel free to change pronouns/wording to suit your muse!  Minor TW for suicide references, mental health complications, obsession.

FUZZY:

❝ I see shadows on the walls. ❞ ❝ Everything gets fuzzy when you come around. ❞ ❝ I’m really not a bad guy. ❞ ❝ Said a little prayer for you. ❞ ❝ My brain just needs a little bit of cleaning. ❞ ❝ I really had a good time. ❞ ❝ I’m running and I can’t stay here. ❞

LOWKEY  AS  HELL:

❝ I think people like me better when I’m hurt inside. ❞ ❝ I think I’m halfway there but my heart feels off. ❞ ❝ What’s the point of being great if I’m great and alone? ❞ ❝ I want a brain that doesn’t hate me. ❞ ❝ I wanna see my stupid fucking friends daily. ❞ ❝ I’m highkey and lowkey as hell. ❞ ❝ I just wanna see ya. ❞

NUMB:

❝ How can I be a black hole and your favourite constellation? ❞ ❝ Motherfucker, I look good today. ❞ ❝ Self-care, [colour] hair, looking cute today! ❞ ❝ Either way, I’m in the conversation. ❞ ❝ You only like me when I’m numb. ❞ ❝ The more I wrap myself up, the more I’m coming undone. ❞ ❝ You hate to laugh, you’re ‘too cool’ for me. ❞

VIOLET!

❝ You freak me out. ❞ ❝ I’m not a stalker. ❞ ❝ You love me in such weird ways. ❞ ❝ The way you tease is unfair. ❞ ❝ I’d break your knees to keep you here with me. ❞ ❝ I’m not leaving any signs, like the kind you think you find. ❞

SNOW  GLOBE:

❝ Why’d you wake me? ❞ ❝ I was having that same old dream again. ❞ ❝ People miss the old you. ❞ ❝ They hate everything that they all changed you into. ❞ ❝ I’ve been dead since 2016. ❞ ❝ Fuck my plans. ❞ ❝ I think you need more from me. ❞

JUST  KIDDING:

❝ I wish I was dead sometimes. [Hahaaa, just kidding!] ❞ ❝ Hahaaa, just kidding! ❞ ❝ I like how your hair smells. ❞ ❝ If you look then you could see inside. ❞ ❝ I’m numb but still I’m hurting. ❞ ❝ You can’t kill what you can’t see. ❞ ❝ I’ll take on every little thing you hand me. ❞

THE  SECRET  LIFE  OF  ME:

❝ First I’d find my evil twin, then I would make best friends with him. ❞ ❝ We complete each others’ lines because our stupid brains connect. ❞ ❝ I think I need a life or maybe nine, ‘cause I feel like I’m running out of time. ❞ ❝ I’ve seen a place I’d like to stay. ❞ ❝ Maybe paradise is somewhere deep inside. ❞ ❝ Real life never feels like it’s mine. ❞ ❝ I’ll dissociate until I’m fine. ❞

AMERICAN  GRAFFITI:

❝ Maybe the world was made in six days, but I could ruin mine by Monday. ❞ ❝ Maybe I should try to live one normal day. ❞ ❝ You’ve been reading all about me. ❞ ❝ If you need me, I’m here now. ❞ ❝ I’ll pack a suitcase, follow if you want. ❞ ❝ Usually, I’m all I’ve got. ❞

YOU’D  BE  PARANOID  TOO:

❝ You’d be paranoid too if everyone you knew was out to get you. ❞ ❝ People treat me like I’m an asshole, but I don’t text when I drive though. ❞ ❝ I haven’t slept in days but who’s counting? ❞ ❝ BUT, I bought a bunch of candy.  As much as they would give me. ❞ ❝ Whoops!  I got a little dark. ❞ ❝ I’m a little bit of a little bitch.  So? ❞ ❝ I might turn around and say some stupid shit. ❞

FRUIT  ROLL  UPS:

❝ I’m sorry in advance for that shit. ❞ ❝ When you talk, it’s in cursive to me. ❞ ❝ It’s like that shit was written in gel pen - and I love those. ❞ ❝ It’s true, I’m a little bitch for you now. ❞ ❝ I bought these really sick lights if you wanna come over. ❞ ❝ For you, I’d brave all the traffic outside. ❞ ❝ Oh, shoot.  I fucked that up! ❞

MAGNETIC:

❝ I did great, you should’ve been there. ❞ ❝ I’m the last one left on my good side. ❞ ❝ I’m magnetic to the things I hate the most. ❞ ❝ You’re all I want and more. ❞ ❝ I’m projecting big through a tiny screen. ❞ ❝ What the fuck’d I do it for? ❞

[bastardguy]

(haha there's very icky thoughts in this so don't read if it triggers ye, if anyone's reading this lmao) boy! it's one of those nights ain't it haha. ultrasadness. i dont have people to talk to which, yknow i feel like a lot of people don't have others to talk to. but anyways! i am sad! f! the most annoying aspect of myself i dislike is how one moment im daydreaming because hehe escapism and dont wanna talking to people at all then the, next moment im unbearably sad and i wanna! have friends that aren't people from my imagination. it's my fault, yep, its allll my fault, im not even trying to be sarcastic here, i know i should actively seek out people to be friends with them but!! im in my element to run around pretending i made fucking animations for my friend group that also exists! totally! it makes me feel great and content until i realise its not real! god am i pathetic haha! how do i improve ? how? why am i like this? is it because my brain views my escapism as safer and more wondrous then reality? to the po in t talking to people just? bore me? it's weird as hell, im probably just a selfish git but i genuinely look at chats and either go "conversation going,, i no want join cause rude" or "there's no point they're all so boring. being alive is boring. your life, your personality, you as a person is boring. that's why he left. he left for someone else he already had plans with, someone who he can actually see regularly in person in the future, someone who makes him happy. you never made him happy. he was miserable being stuck with you, that's why he left, that's why he immediately got into another relationship with someone else. you're why he lied to you, you're the problem, he hates you, you were an abusive fuck who couldn't keep his mouth shut and never changed. he's going to spend years being happy with someone and he's glad he's left you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. you're the problem. don't ever try again, you don't have thr privlage to die, not yet. wait until everyone's finally tired of your manuplitive, selfish shit then kill yourself. die. just fucking die. just die. no one will stay loving you, you'll be forgotten, why did you say so much? you're fucking obsessive and its all your fault. you existing in the first place was a mistake, when have you ever brought joy to people? when had anyone be glad that you're here? you're better off dead, you're better off dead. you know if she had the choice mother would pick a normal person as a child in a heartbeat. you know if she knew you were going to turn out this way she would have fucking killed you herself because you've been nothing a burden. she'll leave, just like he left and everyone else did. so what if you just followed along with everything they were saying? you should've been smart enough not to be a dick you asshole. anyone that comes into your life will leave, everyone will leave, everyone is going to leave. even thinking about this you're cementing it, it's going to happen because you're thinking so hard about it. all bad things happen to you because you think about them. it's your fault. every bad thing that happens is your fault, you deserve all the slander that will come to you, you will die alone. you will die alone. no one will miss you, you've had a sad pathetic lonely life being unwanted. and it's all your fault. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. you ungrateful, selfish bastard-" and its very unpog i dont like my brain.

i wish i could find life enjoyable again, i wish i liked talking to multiple people, i wish i had multiple people to talk to. i wish i, didn't have these fucking attachment and abandonment issues that just make me terrified of being close with someone again. i think i have rejection sensitive dysphoria and oh! boy! MM. an internal conflict of "do i have adhd or is it just my anxiety and life long loneliness" had been going on in my brain. because if i had adhd i think thatd explain, a lot actually uYubun, but also those symptoms could stem from uhh, childhood issues and stuff pfft. like id be socially withdrawn and daydream a lot, to the point where i avoided playing with other kids just so i could walk around the yard to think about stuff, which are symptoms of adhd but also it's because "brain got lowkey traumatised being neglected on a plane for so long as a baby without its mother then just got whipped around the country serveral times giving me 0 safe secure places." i, i don't know man. that's a lot i have to talk with my therapist in like half an hour haha.

wow i talk about my problems too much this is why he left me 😩

a ok uhm, uh, yea! im very lonely haha. there's like, a person who i could chat with but i dont want to bother them. they're a good friend but they've been busy and i feel like im highkey using them. which is not pog at all! im not fun to talk with and im very annoying hahaha!

why are people so untrustworthy. why am i sad? only god knows but im god, so god doesn't know.

i think me despretly trying to talk to someone while im sad is so, utterly selfish and pathetic. i mean come on man why only now? haha.

i mean i did start to emulate a lot of his bad behaviour but! it's ok i know what's bad to do know and ive learnt from this experience and am moving forward.

where does forward lead? i dont know! probably jobless and suicide but hahaha! im not gonna make it past 25 baby! im gonna fall in love with someone then they'll leave forever and ill die!! After my mum gets sick of me!! hahhaha!!!!! im not unstable right now, i don't even wanna die! that'd be so selfish id break my parents! haha! i want someone to love me as much as i love them and to hold them in my arms! i wanna be comfortable with someone! i wanna be held! i want someone who won't cheat on me!! i wanna be loved!! woohooo!!! that's all i want! yknow what else i want? a friend group thats genuinely happy to see me! people i can eat lunch with and laugh with! people that don't make me feel small and pathetic! and why can't i have that? because im a piece of filth that doenst deserve any of it because ive done nothing to earn it! how the fuck do i do stuff! to talk! how do i not feel hopeless and small all the time? no matter what i fucking say im going to be yelled at for not being positive! fuck! fuck. fuck you.

[spaceoceania]

🎊🎉I FREAKING DID IT🎉🎊

I commented 👏on👏 every👏 single 👏norray 👏fanart👏and👏fanfic👏submitted👏for👏norrayweek2020👏on👏Tumblr👏and👏ao3👏

Like??? How the hell did my dumbass even do that??😂😂 Ahhh I'm in so much awe with myself. I mean good job Amy you succeeded in accomplishing your goal, made a lot of people happy, and voiced your genuine reaction and appreciation to all the creators!! :'D 👏👏💖💖 But on the other hand, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AMY AGAIAHAH😂😂 Like, if you just go through the tag, you can just see me in every comment section (is that even what you call it here on tumblr?? Or is it reply section??) And it's highkey creepy😂 LIKE AMY YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO ALL THAT SHIT AGSISHSUJA- but then again it's oddly satisfying too?? Fryrutgj 🙏✨🎉 UwU

The best part is that I did it all within the actual norray week! When I was double checking I got everyone, i spent most of my time laughing at how dumb I sounded xD I didn't have to comment on as much stuff as i thought I would! 😂🙏 As in for ao3, I don't even know how I did that- cause I left some long ass comments in some works... Like jeez Amy just shut up🤦😂 Looking back at it now and I'm just like... So shook about it😂💖

So yeah guys! :D Quote me on the fact that I actually commented on everything for norrayweek!👏🎉🎉💖 But I'm pretty sure i missed something cause tumblr really hates us and wouldn't show some stuff on the tag😒😒 So yeah tell me if I missed something cause I apparently never get tired of screaming about fanart 💖😅🤦 Rip Twitter and Instagram though- there was some pretty amazing stuff on both platforms! Like, I dont even know how norrayweek was happening on Instagram!! :0 I saw a post about it on my explore page I was shook! So bless everyone who spread the news🙌🙏 And just bless everyone who participated💖 Hopefully next time I'll be able to share my love with the people on Instagram and Twitter!! <3

I can't wait for the next norray week!💖 UwU Next time I'll try to not be super ambitious😂 And I'll make sure to NOT LEAVE FUCKING ESSAYS ON THE COMMENT SECTIONS AGSISHWHSJ😭🤦😂😂 (don't quote on that tho... I always underestimate how excited my dumbass can get😪)

So yeah anyways I just want to thank everyone who organized and participated in this!!💖✨ I would tag those people but... I don't wanna bother them😅 So yeah! You all know who you are :') Actually, if you're reading this, then you're probably one of them! Actually no nevermind, it's all of us!💖 (so everyone reading this😂) It's thanks to everyone who has ever made content and everyone who like/reblog/commented on said content! And also to everyone who just supported and voted from afar! :3 Thank you guys so much <3 Norrayweek was such a nice way to start 2020 ^^

And like?? I'm still so amazed by how talented yall are?? Like?? FREAKING BRAVO TO YOU ALL👏👏✨✨ 🎉🎉🎊🎊 Trust me, if I could give every single one of you guys showers of love, I so would!! Like we got all types of content is amazing!! :DD Not only did we get some LOVELY fanfics, we also got some AMAZING fanart!!👏👏🙌🙌✨✨💖💖 AND WE GOT A COSPLAY PHOTO AND AN AMV AGAUQJAH👏👏🎉🎉🎉✨✨💖💖💖

Anyways here are some random facts about me and norrayweek😂:

I can clearly remember the first and last fanart submission here on tumblr! :D🙌💖 (first by our lovely @/sweetylittlebirdie 💕and last by our queen @/mika-hime✨)

I can't remember that ⬆ for fanfics on ao3 but the first and last fics I left a comment on were both to the same author! And that was for @/piperemerald <3

I reblogged a total of 3 posts relating to norryaweek! One which was an art made by our goddess @/justanotherbnhalover because her art kills me like that xD the other one was the amv I keep talking about which was made by our girl @/mika-hime because it was just so beautiful! And the last one was a mini fic by @/vidaflxwer cause omg I c r i e d- so yeah X3 I had a quite a lot of stuff to say about all those three things and the idea of leaving multiple comments never crossed my mind at first. So I ended up gushing about it on the tags😂💖

The hardest part of norrayweek was easily making my orgins post cause i kept going back and editing it and then the little shit didnt even show up in the tags😂

There were two fanarts that I didnt leave a comment on at first cause I personally gushed to the creator about it through the chat box. But when I was going through the tag again I found those two arts and gave the creators a comment😂💖

This is the second ship-week I have officially participated on! :D

But this is the first time time I actually make it all the way through the ship-week!! 😅

I was never able to memorized the prompts and what day they were attached to xD So I had to look at the screenshot of the prompts quite a lot of times.

So yeah! :D Everything for Norrayweek2020 should have a comment from me except for those three posts that I reblog and everything posted on ao3 cause i just left the comment on ao3! :3 So if you see something that doesn't have me screaming in the notes, tell me so I can go gush about!! X3

Thank you all so much and thank you to whoever read all of that xD <3

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[imriya]

K Drama List Part 2

Bc I have no life I have watched a lot of drama’s so here’s part 2. Part 1 will be linked HERE . So here’s part 2 reviews and all 

1. Doctor Stranger

Rating: N/A 

I was recommended this really highly but honestly I couldn’t sit through past 2 episodes. I was so disappointed especially because I love Lee Jong Suk. I definitely won’t even try to watch this again. I really could not get into it at all. 

2. Kill Me Heal Me 

Rating: 9/10

I WAS HOOKED FROM THE FIRST EPISODE! I highkey fell in love with every single personality and I just can’t! I still talk about this drama all the time! It was so different from any other drama I’ve watched and the acting was absolutely brilliant! The way each personality is portrayed and how everything comes together in the end...If I had emotions I would have cried throughout but because I’m dead inside I only teared which is still a big deal considering how only 3 drama’s have made me cry so far 

3. Because This is My First Life 

Rating: 9/10

I literally just finished watching this like two seconds ago! IT WAS AMAZING! The side characters and their romance was just as well developed as the main! Soo Ji is a frickin badass and I love her so much! The female relationships as well as the male ones were just brilliant! There was no ‘villain’ in this one like there is in typical dramas which made me happy. This drama will have you crying, laughing and squealing! 

4. 49 Days 

Rating: N/A 

I’m really disappointed. I heard really good things about this drama but I could barely sit through 2 episodes. I was cringing the whole way through. I would really only continue this because of the traveller but right now I can’t. I watched one episode and stopped for two days, having to hype myself up for the second. 

5. The K2

Rating: 3/10

Maybe I’m just having really bad luck with drama’s but I couldn’t get through this either.  Dont get me wrong, Ji Chang Wook was brilliant and the storyline is interesting too but god damn that female lead is so frickin annoying. I was so bored and done with her by the third episode. I just had to stop halfway through

6. Page Turner 

Rating: 8.8/10 

So, I binged this in one sitting. I’m not usually one for mini drama’s but after reading some recommendations I saw this one pop up in like 80% of it. BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE! It’s such a relatable and mature drama whiile also making you laugh and tugging on your heartstrings. If i had emotions I would be bawling! I honestly need like 2 days to just savour this before starting on any other drama. It’s amazing and so is the acting and the storyline I AM IN LOVE

7. Marriage Not Dating 

Rating: 6/10 

This started out really well and had some good development including all of the K Drama Tropes plus a shit load of slaps but kinda lost momentum half way through. It could have ended 3 episodes earlier but they kept dragging it on. I had my fair share of squealing and what not but then I got bored. 

8. Fated To Love You 

Rating: N/A 

Sigh... I really tried to stick it out with this one but I just couldn’t. The first two episodes were so cringy and everytime the dude laughed i seriously wanted to burst my eardrums. The female lead was really good but the storyline and the acting from the first male lead was just so bad I stopped halfway through episode 5. I heard the Taiwanese Drama was better than this one so watch the TDrama instead of this. 

9. Hwarang 

Rating: 7/10 

I’ll be honest, the only reason I started watching this was because of Kim Taehyung aka. V from BTS I know im a terrible human being BUT i stayed for the amazing bromance! I found myself looking forward to the bromance more than anything and anytime something bad happened to the guys I winced and almost teared up. The female lead for this started out really good but then got cliched and slightly annoying but no where near as annoying as the lead for K2 sooo yeah the bromance in this will never be beaten i swear

10. Oh My Ghost 

Rating: 6.5/10

It started off well and was incredibly interesting. I did put this off for a bit because i thought it would be scary and I’m honestly a wimp but save for one or two scenes the rest was alright and not scary at all. There is romance and mystery and comedy and one or two cringy scenes but other than that it was wow! The romance kinda overshadowed the mystery which for me was a little annoying but it was cute enough to let pass but it kinda goes at hyper-speed the last 3 episodes. 

11. I’m Not A Robot 

Rating: 8.9/10 

IF I HAD EMOTIONS I WOULD BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK RIGHT ABOUT NOW! OH LORD THIS DRAMA! okay so the reason it didn’t get a 9 and above is because I was expecting a lot more from the Aji 3 closing story but everything else was absolutely brilliant! The acting, the cute, the sad, the angry, the oh lord i wanna punch something, the squealing was just amazing! I had such high expectations for this drama and IT MET EVERY SINGLE ONE! This definitely goes in my top 10 list i just wished they did a little more for the tying up of the Robot’s storyline

12. Just Between Lovers 

Rating: 9/10 

OH MY HEART! This drama just proves that I seriously don’t have a tear duct because if I did I would be a sobbing wreck on the floor by now oh my lord where do I start?! So this drama is basically about an accident and how a shopping mall collapsed and it builds up from there with some flashbacks but wow I am so ASGSFKSGKF it made me laugh and almost cry especially the last two episodes oh lord This is deffo in my top 10 

13. Cinderella and the Four Knights 

Rating: 3/10 

God, I really tried to stick this one out because I heard such good things about it but after the 5th episode i just couldn’t. It was so repetitive and boring and just plain. Everytime that OST played I wanted to bang my head in. It’s so mindless. 

14. Emergency Couple 

Rating: 5.5/10 

It started out reallllly bad and i mean like properly bad even Thumping Spike 2 had a better start but I stuck with it and it was a cute drama, funny as well but I think the angst was played out too much. 

15. Ask Us Anything/ Knowing Brothers

Rating: 9/10 

Okay I know im cheating since this isnt like a drama but ITS SO FUNNY! Honestly the best time pass thing to watch ever! Its basically these 7 guys in a classroom setting just taking the piss out of famous people who come on their show omg i love it! It’s a weekly thing and i think they’re on season 3 or 4 but seriously hilarious 

16. The Moon Embracing The Sun 

Rating: 8.8/10

First of all MY HEART! Second of all THE CASTING OH MY LORD THE CASTING IS SO ON POINT! If you read my KDrama Rec List 1 you would know that Moon Lovers basically ruined all of the period dramas for me and Hwarang was the first period drama I watched after that but THIS ONE OH MY LORD THIS ONE! THE KIDS WERE AMAZING AND BRILLIANT AND BASICALLY GOT ME ADDICTED TO THIS DRAMA and dare I say it, even more amazing than the adults! Also like Hyung Sun is the real MVP. My heart is both full and broken at the same time. There was tearing but no tears. 

17. Eulachacha Waikiki / Laughter in Waikiki 

Rating: 9.5/10 

THIS SKYROCKETS ALL THE WAY TO MY TOP 5! I was waiting for this to finish so I could watch it and I had high expectations - IT MET EVERY SINGLE ONE! It was hilarious and had me on the floor the whole time! It also had romance and sadness and kinda reminded me of Fight For My Way in the group of friends growing together part. I absolutely loved it and if I didn’t have responsibilities I would have literally finished this in two days! All I’m going to say is - #ProtectDuShik2k18 

18. Chicago Typewriter 

Rating: 5/10 

I was recommended this by literally every single K Drama Rec that I saw but I just couldn’t get into it. After 5 episodes I was still kinda meh about it and was just watching it for the sake of watching it. The storyline of past lives and lovers and the switching of timelines was interesting no doubt but perhaps it just wasn’t for me.

19. Problematic Men 

Rating: 8/10 

Again, I know Im cheating ‘cause it’s not exactly a drama but more so a variety show but omg it’s so good! I started it because of Namjoon but I stayed for the rest of them! It’s basically these men who are really smart and they try to solve problems and puzzles and test their IQ, which i know sounds really boring but trust me it’s anything but! It’s hilarious and really challenging and like i was so determined to solve it myself as well. The first episode is really meh but i promise it gets so much better! 

20. Great Seducer 

Rating: 6/10 

I’m not going to lie, this started out so well! I absolutely loved the concepts and the characters and the character building but after episode 22 it just got SO REPETITVE and i was so bored. I just watched for the sake of watching and had to hype myself up for the next episodes. Soo Ji and Se Joo are an amazing side cast, way better than the leads if you ask me but it was an alright drama overall. It just wouldn’t be off the top of my head reccomendation if someone asked me what to watch 

21. The Liar and His Lover 

Rating: 3/10 

I think my bad luck streak with KDrama’s has started again. I got 4 episodes in and was already so damn annoyed. The female lead was crying for a good 90% of the whole drama. The male lead was whining and I wanted to punch the both of them. The OST and Chan Young was the only saving grace of this drama, well them and Crude Play. Those people are cuuuute. There kind of is a second lead syndrome but it’s not that bad.

22. The Universe’s Star 

Rating: 6/10 

I was recommended this by a friend who said it gave off Goblin vibes. It was cute but really cringy. Basically its about this fangirl who died and is now a grim reaper who is ‘protecting’ her favourite idol. The acting was amazing but... the lines were just cringy. 

[kitwilsonsass]

Since I’ve been putting it off due to lingering sicky feels, etc.

Here’s the far too long and far too unedited and written at 4am vacation rundown NO ONE ASKED FOR! (huzzah!)

So, yeah. I arrived at the new Amtrak station in the city which is a major upgrade from the trailer park reject of station the old one was. Way roomier. Could use a coffee stand or something but yeah. Improvement. Had to go underground under the tracks and back up to get to the very cold surface, it must suck in the winter.

About an hour, hour and a half into the trip I quickly realized that a.) all I wanted to do was sleep, and b.) that my throat was burning. I assumed this was due to the absurdly cold, non-stop dry ass air conditioning, but no. This bitch got sick for her entire trip. On the plus side I had the seats to myself for the majority of the trip, but still. I barely watched any CR or anything because I was miserable the entire time. Ya don’t wanna be miserable for 10+ hours on a train.

Got to Boston, to @conniecorleone‘s frightening apartment stairs. My bag was way too heavy and she troopered through taking it up them for me without dying. So if you ever need a tank in battle, call Rachel.

Hung out a little. Ordered some Five Guys. Watched a couple episodes of the first season of American Horror Story. I get the appeal but also never needed to see Dermot Mulroney’s ass.

Rach was busy with work stuff a lot early in the week, not helped by some dumbass school shooting threat the week before and kept apologizing while still going above and beyond as a hostess while I just felt guilty for getting snot on her sheets.

Day two I colored a bit. I can do a wicked water gradient with erasable colored pencils, for the record. Hung out. Relaxed. Used a lot of Zicam and Advil. Then we were on way to The Middle East for her conehead space boyfriend.

We waited like, an hour? In the chilly mist outside? The show started like AN HOUR LATE after that. The venue was nice but man, the mood was getting close to dead at points, especially since, again, FUCKIN SICK. But Planet Booty came on and while, a little on the bordering too raunchy side, put on a fucking amazing live show. Dylan has an absurd amount of energy that should be bottled and sold, but if it were it might result in the orgypocalypse. I saw a youtube comment that said he’s ‘very touchy lol’ and truer words never spoken. That man will grind on you and sing directly in your earlobe with his tongue if you are front row and happily, I was not. Yet somehow I still ended up with his sweat on my sweater sleeve thanks to someone being a dumbass and high fiving him after their set and not being able to handle the consequences. Ahem.

THEN TWRP TOOK LIKE ANOTHER GODDAMN HALF HOUR???

But I FORGIVE THEM because they were GREAT and played Daft Punk’s Celebrate in honor of motherfuckin Canadian Thanksgiving so... fine... I guess. My only complaint is they didn’t do The Perfect Product even though I get that’s probably a weird thing to do live. Also minimal keytar and Sung almost decapitated himself but you know... it happens. They DID do Tactile Sensation though which is a fucking jam. And Atomic Karate, ofc. And Meouch broke his fucking bass string which is like? Fucking hardcore? He came down like a foot away from us at one point. It was dope. They’re amazing live and have no right to be for dudes in ridiculous robot costumes playing synth in the year 2018 and rolling around stage on a hoverboard. Sadly I brought minimal memory cardage this year and didn’t get a lot of good video of them.

Afterwards, despite *someone* almost passing out, we hung out in the merch lines and did NOT accidentally cut ahead this time. I got a free signed poster because it was my birthday vacation ayyyyy and bought a couple EPs and the Together Through Time album. Then hopped over the PB’s line and got two hugs from Dylan who hung out and talked to/hugged/got selfies with every single person who got into line there and just? Good dude. Pure dude. Awful stache but... thumbs up human being. I got their Naked album and we headed out back to the apartment and some delivered Dominos (which was the only good Dominos I’ve ever had in my life.)

Day three I accidentally slept until like 4pm. Literally what else did we do that day? I cannot remember for the life of me. We might have went to Dunkin at like 9pm and she showed me a weird omnipotent plastic ear hanging on an electric wire? Was that this day? I have no fucking idea. Her Netflix and supply of Puffs tissues were my best friends this trip okay.

Day four she went to class and I relaxed and intended to walk to the mall. Unfortunately, my sick bleh hit and I didn’t feel up to going until about ten minutes before she got back. So we ended up heading over there together. I made her try Baja Blast, as is customary in my nation, and got her to try some green matte lipstick. Success. I was highkey hoping they would have a Build-A-Bear in the joint but they didn’t. They did have a Newbury though, that had the six-inch Roadhog pop which I’ve had a hard time finding locally, so I said fuck it and bought it.

That night was MST3k live! The theater was old as dirt. The kind of old as dirt where the flooring is bowing in. They had real strict rules on cameras and shit, which I get for the sake of spoilers but c’mon.... c’mon. Their merch sucked unfortunately though, so I didn’t waste any money on anything (for some reason they had 2017 tour stuff? It’s... not 2017?). The show itself was good, though I was wondering before it started how sick they must get of doing the same movie in different towns almost every other night. Pretty quickly realized oh, yeah, a lot of this show was likely pre-riffed. They did pull a kid from the stage at one point so he could guest riff off a script from Joel, which I’m thinking was a clever little insert fraction of the riff they did live between segments. I could be wrong, but on that front, it felt a little cheap. But it was still fun to see the boys and the bots live and have jokes cracked about not being able to afford the villains for the tour. And The Brain itself was........ I don’t know what I was expecting but..... it sure was.... something. The novelty was worth it and I will still gladly marry Crow T. Robot.

We went across the street to a little pub stop that was I think called Rock Bottom after that and got some much needed late night food. For some reason my brain was like “man, I could go for chicken fried steak right now” and don’t you know IT WAS ON THE FUCKIN MENU? WITH GARLIC CHEDDER MASHED POTATOES? Boston, much like with wings, does not know what country gravy is, but it was still everything I fucking wanted and did not expect to find, so A+. Also I was wearing a dress with shorts underneath it and stuck to the goddamn stool. Such is life.

Day five was rainy and miserable. I tagged along to university with Rach and it sucked, honestly. Being on a campus makes me feel awkward and the whole still being sick thing didn’t help. I ended up taking a walk way around the block to a Starbucks and getting the worst fucking frap I’ve ever paid too much money for. Went back around. Sat in the library. Felt even shittier. Started googling food places. Yard House wasn’t far but I didn’t want to deal with crossing a lot of traffic, especially if the rain started back up (it did, with a vengeance). So I ended up back around the block at some Olive Garden-esque fake Italian place with not an Italian in sight called Bertucci’s for some bland chicken-less fettuchini alfredo (because, as I’d reasoned with myself, I had chicken three times the day before). It was dimly lit, I had a booth to myself, and the water had the sweet skullet and braided beard combo I had liveblogged. People kept complimenting my tattoo. It was nice and no one seemed overly bothered that I was clearly killing time until I spent probably way too long in the restroom after trying to look alive. I tipped the dude ten bucks and left in the pouring rain with my umbrella.

From her school we took the world’s longest Uber to Parts Fucking Unknown in awful traffic and rain to find a Double Tree where @freakishlytallaustralian‘s parents were staying for a hot minute during their brief little US tour on their way to Europe. I’ve never met Mandi in person, but I’ve now met her parents who say she’s gotten to know a good bloke. She looks exactly like her mom. They were sweet. Anxious but sweet. And I am a freak who doesn’t talk and was sick trying to seem presentable at the bare minimum capacity.

Back ~home~ we ordered some JP Licks ice cream (BROWNIE BROWNIE BATTER!!! BROWNIE. BROWNIE. BATTER.), I watched CR and some stupid videos on the internet with her. Got some sleep. Sort of. Barely.

Despite Matt Mercer nearly succeeding at lulling me to sleep and eating my dreams, it didn’t happen, and I could not get comfortable for the life of me. The “coughing every five seconds in bed” started this night and was not having mercy. So I opted out of another day of hanging around campus to try and get some more rest. It didn’t really work, but I did eventually get a solid three hours or so, so it was something.

As the day progressed it was onward to the Science Museum to meet Ron the T-Rex. There was a wedding happening. How appropriate, for Bravier funko pops to have come along on the day of a blessed union. Coincidence? I think not. A turtle kept falling off a branch when he was trying to nap. There was some space stuff. It wasn’t great. But I got a little stuffed dinosaur and that’s Important.

From there we hit up the same movie theater we went to the year before and saw Bad Times At The El Royale. Do recommend. Chris Hemsworth as a Charles Manson was not something I ever thought I’d see, and I still don’t understand it, but it rather predictably works for me, so we’ll leave it at that. Good movie, good performances, good pacing and editing that could have easily not been. See it, it’s fun. Not perfect, but fun.

It was COLD AS BALLS after the movie and neither of us brought jackets or sweaters, so the walk to the train station and back ~home~ was a chilly one. We stopped in, got some warmth, and headed down the road past her old place to a bar. If we didn’t appreciate TWRP and PB enough already, the band she had to pay cover for us to get in for just to pick up food were about 8 upper middle aged men playing every instrument in the book. Afropunk, they said. No, we said. Offkey, we said. This place was dark as shit and loud as shit but you know what? They KNEW WHAT REAL, HOT CHICKEN WINGS WERE and for that, I am appreciative dammit.

Went back, got some more Dominos, and was finally introduced to John Mulaney’s (or two of) comedy specials. He’s genius and I *understand* it now, tumblr. I get it. We ate way too much and did my laundry.

The week had come and gone way too soon and I felt robbed of my good time by how shitty I felt. Hopping on the train the next day (after a godawful uber ride) was just as depressing as the time before. And even though I didn’t feel as miserable as the trip there, and once again had a window seat to myself, I found myself curled up against my hoodie crying trying to fall asleep again knowing I was already headed back home.

Once the initial depression passed, the trip wasn’t bad. The iced latte was good. The Albany stop not as confusing the second time around. The WiFi kept me company. Eventually my aunt texted me asking if I wanted to hit up Stevie T’s on the way home because they were 24hr and neither of us had eaten all night. It was a plan. Get off, get food, come home, faceplant on my own big comfy bed, vow to deal with my dad’s drama in the morning and call it a night.

Then *that* happened. Yeah. Last year? Every stop, regardless of time of night, they made announcements. They came by, checked the marker above your seat, and if you were due off at the next stop told you it was coming up, would help with luggage if needed, and directed you to the correct door to exit the train. This year? Nothing. They decided to stop making announcements right before the Rochester stop, and no one came by in our car to tell us where to get off. Stopped, myself and the other person due off at that stop, a late-teens girl, went to the door at the front of our car where every other stop had gotten off before us. We assumed since no one said differently, and no attendants were around, that must be it. We were idiots. Because by the time we realized hey, they’re not going to open this door and we should go to the far other end of the train, it was already moving again en route to Buffalo.

We found ourselves in the dining booths by the cafe car while the staff made vague remarks and the conductor acted like it wasn’t his problem. My aunt on the phone talked to the Rochester station, we tried to claim I didn’t even have a reservation until about two other people looked up my ticket. They said it was up to the conductor to get us a cab home, he laughed at us, claimed to know nothing about any of that, and asked if were were going to buy the bus tickets the other girl was looking up. The bus for 3am, in downtown Buffalo, nowhere near the station. When we got off the staff at the Depew station was a lot more sympathetic, and said since nothing else was being offered he would put us on the next train back home, but since it was a Sunday morning there was no train to Rochester until roughly 7:45am. It was about 1:30 at this point. I felt awful for encouraging the other girl not to pay for two ubers and a bus ticket with the only alternative being offered to sit alone in an empty, unstaffed station in the middle of the night for hours. And between the situation, being tired and still sick, and dealing with my aunt calling hotels only to get put on hold and lose the room she was trying to reserve - I put my bags in a corner, found the restroom, and had a panic attack. I don’t know why, but those tend to be stupid like that. It’s not even like I was scared, or confused, or that worried myself. I started out very ‘whatever, I’ll just get a room or stay in the station, I’m pissed but whatever’. But something about the constant calls and texts and my battery nearing 0 had me stressed and I was crying like a bitch. I just wanted to fucking sleep, and I knew that wouldn’t happen in a train station with nothing but some benches, a restroom, and a vending machine.

Rach suggested an alternative I felt guilty about taking but ended up going for: Get to her parents house just outside Buffalo, get their spare key, and sleep on their couch while they’re out of town with their blessing. So I called an Uber, and the first one passed me by, with the gps fucking up and saying I should be picked up ON THE TRAIN TRACKS. The second guy was smart enough to come to the cab pickup out front and was really cool. He said he was just thankful I wasn’t a fucked up drunk college party kid and the first all night. He didn’t comment on how I probably definitely looked like I’d just been broken up with in the world’s worst romcom. It was over 20 bucks and I tipped him the max. Found my way inside, set up the couch, and continued my momentarily on hold panic until I eventually passed out. My Aunt came to pick me up in the morning, I got carsick, we had mediocre diner breakfast and what’s after that isn’t news worth talking about. Isn’t it bad enough the tail end of the trip took up like a third of this post?

All in all... it felt like a disaster. I’m not gonna lie. In weird ways the stars aligned that TWRP would end up on Conan the night of their show and have to reschedule to the day I came to town, but I paid for it with otherwise bad timing and my body deciding against me having a good time. Fun was had, don’t get me wrong. The good was good and any chance to get away from... this, is appreciated, but it just seemed like everything went awry. 

Mucho thanks to @conniecorleone again, for letting me crash on the futon and be my usual bland self, even blander while ill, and also buying me expensive cold syrup and a-many ubers.

We’ll see if Massachusetts and I ever cross paths again.

[cherryblossomchangbin]

Bias tag thingy

Tagged by: @bangchan-stole-my-lyfe

Who is your bias? -kihyun (fuck you Lizzy you finally managed to make me bias him. I still love minhyuk though) ~also only choosing kihyun over my other biases for lizzy’s benefit so we can compare her thoughts~

What made you notice them? -his eye smile. It’s just cute.  Plus his sass. And his caring nature. And sweet smile. (LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO SOFT)

~~Lizzy kinda got this one right. She said because he’s soft and cute~~

What’s your favourite thing about them? -the fact that he’s a complete fluffball but will out-sass you in .2 seconds

~~Lizzy said his hardworking nature and passion. She’s right that they are great points about him though~~

~fml he’s adorable~

~look at him being all judgy :,) ~ 

Who would initiate skinship more? Probably him? I’m not really that much of a touchy person but it would depend on how I’m feeling that day

~~Lizzy said me but like I said it really depends on how I’m feeling that day and what’s happened as to whether I would initiate skinship~~

Who would hog blankets more? Highkey me. I love being wrapped up in blankets and I always bunch them up and cuddle into them when I sleep. He’d probably have to fight me to get any of the covers

~~Lizzy got this one right. She also said I’d do it to see him all pouty and cute but honestly that would just be a bonus to me being all snuggled up like a burrito~~

Who would be more clingy? Urmmm I’m not sure. Generally I don’t think either of us would be that clingy? I think if my depression was getting to me I’d be slightly more clingy because I get afraid of being left alone. Or if he was stressed or had a bad day he’d be more clingy

~~ooooh Lizzy was right!! She said neither of us would be that clingy but if any it would be more him~~

Who would say ‘i love you’ first? Him. No doubt. I struggle with shit like that. It usually takes someone else to say it first for me to even realise that actually yeah I love them too. But after the first time there would be no problem saying it to each other. I might be shy the first few times he says it in front of other people though 

~~Lizzy out here tryna make me soft: “he would probably say I love you first. He’d been blushing and all shy probs and scared that you’d get mad or upset or something so he’d be really quiet and soft with his head down” lowkey might die when she writes a full on imagine about this~~

Who would be more easily flustered? I’m not too sure. I think it depends on the situation. When it comes down to compliments and stuff probably me because I literally have no idea how to accept them. But when it comes to me being extra af (which apparently I am? Idk ask lizzy) it would likely be him maybe out of embarrassment? I think we’d both get flustered though if we were randomly doing something and found the other had been watching us the whole time thinking it was cute 

~~LIZZY! HOE! YOU GOT THIS RIGHT AWSRTJDRGBWNRTNRWSDB~~

What cuddling position would you two have?  Tbh anything where his arms are around me making me feel safe (lizzy if you call me soft for this i will kill you)

~~HOE how are you being so accurate with these?! This ones right too!~~

Which colours remind you of them and why?  Pastel pink. Literally because he looks WAY too good in that colour. And because he extremely soft

~~HOE IDEK HOW YOU GOT THIS ONE RIGHT~~

What season would you want to spend with them? Autumn. It’s my favourite season with a lot of my favourite things. Plus more excuses for cuddles. But most important more excuse to steal his hoodies & jumpers 

~~I’m honestly questioning Lizzy’s psychic abilities at this point~~

Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter? We would both do both. Like we’d help each other cook and probably feed each other the batter ngl. I get to lick the spoon at the end though. That is non-negotiable. If he tries I’ll fight ~highkey we would play-fight so damn much and probably end up in fits of giggles every. single. time.~

~~Hoe didn’t even stumble. She straight up said me xD~~

Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react? I hate puns so much (ask kait). I’ve probably made one in my entire life? Plus Kihyun likes to tease and make jokes so he would probably make all the bad puns and I’d just stare at him blankly trying to remind myself why i put up with his shit

~~Okay so lizzy was kind of right thinking neither of us would make puns~~

~highkey me reacting to Kihyun’s puns ^^ ~ 

Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats? We would be adopting dogs. Because dogs are my favourite. Having an animals thats as soft as kihyun? I’m 100% down. (plus have you SEEN him with animals?) 

~~She said me. She right.~~

Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue? I think we’re both too smart for that to happen. If anything we’ll be having to save Minhyuk & Jooheon from burning down the kitchen and then help clean up before dad shownu found out

~~I’m 10000% offended that Lizzy thinks I would burn down the house~~

Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back? It might sound weird but I love standing on railings and leaning over a little bit. There’s just something about it that makes me feel completely free but in total control at the same time. Kihyun is a worried boy though so he’d be holding onto me so I don’t actually fall ~cue titanic re-enactment lmfao~

~~Lizzy: “i could see you trying to lean over to get something that got stuck and Kihyun trying to pull you back and scolding you about how it’s dangerous” I sense another imagine idea? Honestly I think Lizzy knows more about this rship than we do~~

What would watching a horror film with them be like?  I HATE horror film. So it’s gonna be all cuddles. I’ll either be on my phone or have my face buried in his chest. No doubt he’d be laughing at me and teasing me. But i imagine there would come a point where he’d be in the middle of teasing me and then get scared himself and I would laugh so much my clumsy ass would probably end on the floor

~~Okay so Lizzy reckons that Kihyun would be scared but try to act cool. And I totally support that idea. But she also thought I’d scare him on purpose. But I think he’d be the one to try and scare me.~~

Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt? He’s a tease so he’d probably be the cheesy flirt. I’m not even going to talk about me because well.. pfft no 

~~ooh Lizzy said Kihyun is a cheesy flirt too!!~~

Who is more competitive? It depends what we’re doing. Although we’re both chill I think we can both be really competitive. And we’d both tease each other about losing

~~Hoe said me... idk whether to be offended?~~

Who would have to be give constant reminders? (remember to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc) I think we would do it to each other. Reminding each other to eat, drink water etc. With general things I think we’d be okay but we’d constantly be reminding the other to look after themselves

~~Lizzy said he’d give me reminders. It’s probably the most likely tbh. We’re both pretty caring people so would want to the other to look after themselves and to look after each other but generally I can be more forgetful. For example if I’m really focussing on something I will forget to eat~~

Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you texts’ at 3am? I’m always sending memes soo…. But i think if I was to send him a message at 3am his reply would be ‘why are you awake?’ instead of sending a meme or actually replying to what I said

~~Hoe said me. How knows me too well. Hoe has been on the receiving end of my memes many many times~~

~a meme I would send if he said he missed me st 3am~

Okay so out of like 20 questions (not including the bias question at the start) Lizzy got like 17 right?!?!?!? HOE HOW?! Honestly...... I’m impressed and kinda freaked out at the same time xD love you hoe

I tag: @kpopmainlizzy @darkaegyo @lesbianwomanking if you wanna do it 

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. V ※

here’s sentences from 10 more of jenna’s videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! I • II • III • IV

OPPOSITE CONTOUR TUTORIAL

“What’re you gonna do…?”

“It’s fun for me…!”

“This does exist on the Internet, and it looks amazing.”

“I’m a professional.”

“I can see up your shorts.”

“I’m just gonna get started here.”

“I’m getting mindfucked already.”

“My cheeks don’t look broken, my nose looks broken.”

“You’re already looking mad fucked.”

“Well, finally, the outside matches the inside. Broken, beaten down, sad, tired, mad fucked.”

“Don’t judge me, okay?”

“I look like Voldemort.”

“Please ignore all of his Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie jokes from a decade ago.”

“I look like an amphibian that belongs in a river.”

“Oh, no, Jenna…”

“I thought you’d be a little more open-minded.”

“Don’t look at me directly, no, don’t…!”

“It’s looking like day 3 or 4 after a bad sunburn.”

“You calling me dirty?”

“Who you calling dirty, daddy?”

“I look like my father.”

“I think it looks good.”

“We went off-roading for dick, and we found it.”

“I thought this was gonna be a little more dramatic than it is.”

HOW MANY BALLOONS WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE MY DOG FLY

“I mean, I’m curious, aren’t you?”

“I love my dogs more than I love people.”

“I wanna see how many balloons it will take to lift Marbles off the ground.”

“You gon’ fly, boy.”

“Let’s start with 10 and see if we can fit them in the car.”

“We have a lot of balloons already, I don’t know how many more we need.”

“His feelings are very hurt by that.”

“It takes 72 balloons to get this off the ground.”

“Welcome to our new living room, it consists only of happy birthday balloons.”

“Are you ready to take flight?”

“The people at Party City hate us.”

“He doesn’t even care.”

“He doesn’t know where he is no matter what.”

“We really thought this was only gonna take 15 balloons.”

“It took us six car fulls of balloons.”

“Is he asleep in space?”

“He does not give a fuck.”

“I did not think he was gonna be this chill.”

“He’s asleep. He’s fucking asleep.”

“Alright, well, this is our dog, now.”

“There’s not much else to do.”

“This is too many balloons.”

“I was happy, bitch.”

“I’m too old for this shit.”

“You’ve been dealing with me for 8 years, you’re a very patient guy, you know that?”

“I hope that this brightens your day a little, because it brightened mine.”

“What a fucking mistake this was.”

“I’ll never let go. Just kidding, I’m letting go.”

“Well, this was stupid.”

GOOGLE DEEP DIVE WITH ME

“So I’m having one of those days where I can’t make a good thought if I tried to think it.”

“This is all I do, which is why I’m so fucked up.”

“You just start googling things and watching videos and clicking on things until you just don’t know where you are anymore.”

“See, that’s what the fuck I’m talking about.”

“This is like my pet peeve in life.”

“Oh, this fucks me up.”

“God, I’m so fucking turned on right now.”

“Okay, that’s actually highkey dope.”

“Here it is, my favorite picture of Kylie Jenner.”

“This is so fucked up.”

“The Internet is fucking brutal.”

“Happy Australia Day, y’all are nasty.”

“If breastmilk is vegan, why hasn’t someone opened a booby cheese café?”

“Whole Foods ain’t that weird.”

“What’s the word for this? No.”

“Stop putting your boobs in my mouth.”

“Where is he going!?”

“This is like, highkey beautiful.”

“That is lazy as shit.”

“Why don’t you smoke a blunt while you’re at it?”

“It’s only $649, to be the laziest fuck you’ll ever meet.”

“She got all the way to the park to do that…?”

“This is the single dumbest thing that costs 600 dollars.”

“Exercise is free, don’t you ever forget it!”

“She’s dead inside.”

“Hello, 911, there’s a lady walking around, she’s terrifying…!”

“Wait, what the fuck is a zorilla!?”

“It’s like a gorilla, but it’s a fucking skunk.”

“Is this everything you hoped for?”

“I’ve never been happier.”

“Look at how many Air Buds there are!”

“So how many dogs are Air Bud?”

“Damn, I forgot how good Air Bud was.”

“That is the same person…!”

“I’m actually crying.”

“There’s literally no way that’s all Julia Roberts.”

“My head hurts. I have a headache now.”

DOING MY MOM’S MAKEUP

“Have you ever gotten your makeup done before?”

“I’m beginning to wonder why I said yes.”

“Step one of getting ready is just don’t have bangs.”

“That brush is sharp.”

“He actually wanted to die.”

“What, are you tired already?”

“I don’t have any blush, so I’ll just rub this dirty brush on your face.”

“You look like J-Lo reborn.”

“Have you ever been so illuminated in your life?”

“You look like a new woman already.”

“I just got insulted in my own salon.”

“If you didn’t want shit on your face, you shouldn’t have agreed to this.”

“You’re looking like a million bucks already.”

“Do you trust me? You shouldn’t.”

“Isn’t this the worst?”

“Drink away your fear of looking beautiful.”

“It sounds nothing like The Police!”

“I know you can’t see, and you think I’m massacring your face right now, but you look cute as fuck.”

“Farther away is better.”

“If you’re scared of eyeliner, drag makeup isn’t for you.”

“We’re off to Walgreens.”

I SUCK AT VIDEO GAMES 4

“Julien is here, mostly to laugh at me.”

“Who would’ve thought that you actually had to do something?”

“I did it. It only took me three minutes but I did it.”

“I’ve never laughed at a pun out of anything other than a courtesy.”

“Stop making everything about aliens.”

“Here I come to fuck yo bitch.”

“You know it’s my dream to make a Twitter account talking nothing but trash to NASA 24/7.”

“There is no 5-second rule. If you drop something, you just fucking eat it at your own free will.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I think you can eat food off of the ground.”

“Goodbye everybody. Goodbye everybody. Goodbye everybody!”

“I like to fuck all day, forever.”

“Guys, I don’t have a job, I just fuck for a living.”

“Look at these sick moves.”

“Damn, is my family annoying.”

“I would be the most talented male stripper the world has ever seen.”

“Why can’t I shoot my gun underwater?”

QUADRUPLE DOG SWEATER

“He thinks that Cher, Shakira, and Celine Dion all have the same voice.”

“He thinks that Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, and Sandra Bullock are the same person.”

“It’s trash and garbage and why would I ever see it?”

“It’s a trash movie and he thinks it’s a cinematic masterpiece.”

“I looked for it on the Internet, and it doesn’t exist.”

“Watch out, kids, because when you turn 30, all you’re gonna wanna do is craft.”

“I wanna do it all the way out, and not in a practical way.”

“I want it to exist.”

“They are so tolerant of my fucking bullshit.”

“This is gonna be a disaster.”

“This is so much harder than I had anticipated.”

“This is a fucking mess, a fuckshow of an idea.”

“Goddamnit, this doesn’t work at all!”

“That’s a different email than you gave earlier, and a song.”

“I did it, I’m so proud of myself!”

“Oh my god, you are so mean.”

“If this doesn’t get me in the Guinness Book of World Records, nothing will.”

“Don’t do this, this is a bad idea, but I’m glad I did.”

SEE YOU IN 2017

“I hope you guys are having a great holiday.”

“I want to say thank you so much.”

“We had a really, really wonderful time.”

“Me in all of my beautiful, everyday glory.”

“We got a leak in the ceiling, very dangerous, very fun.”

“I organized my spice cabinet.”

“I went to the grocery store and held hands with my boyfriend, it was great.”

“This dumpster fire of a year is almost over.”

EXTRAS 2016

“I’m gonna pee my pants.”

“Never say that again.”

“I just want everyone to know this video has been the highlight of my life.”

“I can’t feel my eyes.”

“It burns.”

“Nothing like being fully clothed in your bathtub.”

“She looks like she just did a bunch of steroids.”

“I can see your hands in my periphery.”

“It’s like, never not funny.”

BODY MASSAGE

“I want a body massage.”

“Who wants a body massage?”

“Everybody likes a body massage.”

“It doesn’t have to be a sexual massage.”

“I mean, you guys were asking for it.”

“I make shit like this every week.”

CHRISTMAS GLITTER BEARD DIY

“I don’t ever wanna have a goatee.”

“Why are we doing the goatee?”

“We’re having fun, it’s Christmas.”

“If you’re gonna have that kinda attitude here, then get out.”

“Wow, I hate it.”

“I can’t do your makeup when you’re staring into the abyss.”

“You’re putting that on my face?”

“Oh, god, there’s glue on my face.”

“I’m divorcing you.”

“We’re not married…!”

“Maybe we should cross that shitty, stupid bridge when it comes.”

“Where I am on the moisture spectrum is my business and my business alone.”

“Don’t choke me, don’t choke me.”

“Choke me, choke me…!”

“For real though, is this gonna come off?”

“It looks like, all of a sudden, you just started feeling yourself.”

“Who describes their own penis as chunky?”

“Let us write your Grindr profile.”

“No, please no.”

“I look like I just got beat up.”

“You actually just made me Halloween Santa.”

“You look fucking terrifying.”

“This is not what I wanted at all.”

“I made a terrible mistake.”

“You look so festive…!”

“Don’t, you’re gonna make a mess…!”

“Do you know who I am?”

“I look like I just finished killing someone.”

“Meet me outside and kill me please.”

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 9 - “He just told me what side of the fence to fall on” - Corey

Well that went my way for sure!! While unanimous, literally five minutes into the warzone I told Ian we have to go after Madison and Jacob. He agreed and then we rallied the troops. Love when a plan works out. 

An alliance called M&M&M was made between Matt, Madison, and I. We were thinking of doing Ian but we didnt want to push too hard because we didnt want to reveal our cards that we had something. I just hope us sacrificing Jacob will be a positive thing for us and not a negative. Im glad theres allinces forming now. Hope i can stay away from warzone this next round but who knows. Im going to try my hardest tho.

help. who knew that my blood revenge for wanting Nehe out resulted in ALL of the other Kilimanjaro reps to be voted off one by one. parting that with chips, there was 5 people repping that season... and now I'm the lone Survivor from that season. pray for me yalls.

Ugh!!! I blame Johnny for this. Scavenger hunt is usually my favorite challenge except the both times im doing it with Johnny :p  these are soooo weird again. Dealing with this challenge and moving my stuff from my apartment on friday/saturday will probably not get me immunity. Im still trying so hopefully everyone else is busy as well. I Curse Johnny but like only a small one. Like him spilling his fries on the floor. 🍟

Hosts: Another Ian confessional, hopefully he shuts up about his idol and actually give some insight into his game. Me: MY IDOL!!!!11!!1 IT IS MINE, MY OWN, MY PRECIOUS. On a real note, I'm not sure if I confessed this round yet that one of the reasons behind the Jacob vote was to put Nar in a numbers advantage should that come into play at anytime.  The point of the premerge phase is to build as many pathways to alliances/mutually beneficial voting blocks as possible that also have a vested interest to vote with you.  I have Maynor asking to be a duo with me, sure yeah man I do like you and hope to work with you deep in this game as someone that can help me cut Corey or Trace if working with them in the game becomes problematic, but I also know Maynor has a vested interest in Kait, which I do like Kait well enough but she can't be allowed to go on a run if I want a chance to make a run myself.  Corey wants to keep our partnership as secret as possible, which yes I do think is smart, it also relies heavily on trust.  At this moment in time I have no reason but to trust Corey.  That may change in the future, he wants to keep it secret, that's chill, but I'm going to have my own backdoor deals should shit hit the fan. Devon/Matt one of them put me as the scapegoat to Jacob, I don't know which and honestly I do not care which one of them it was. They are both standing in my way at this moment for the win.  That could change in the future.  The game is long and full of terrors.

this is it this is the round im goin to the w a r z o n e 

Im safe!!! Im glad cuz tomorrow is graduation party from my parents and didnt wanna attend tribal. But i feel like Drunk Maynor is being cheated out for this season. I dont have my drinking buddies. Maybe this season wont see Drunk Maynor and I could actually be good in this game.

Me: goes to warzone a bunch People in warzone: don’t target me at all ———— Last round: People in warzone: mention my name Me: flips that ish on Jacob REAL quick also me: HA NOT GOING TO WARZONE AGAIN FOR A HOT SEC BEST BELIEVE IM FINALLY IMMUNE. imagine that! I kinda tried for once! and I placed exactly where I needed to hehe.

Thomas is a fucking idiot honestly. Like, he has been to the war zone enough times to know that the WORST possible thing you can do is throw a name out on the first night. Everything always comes together a couple hours before tribal, and by putting names out there this early, he is basically just MAKING SURE that the vote will come down between him and Adrian. For background, Thomas came to me, still butthurt about being called inactive, telling me that he wants to vote Adrian. I am very into that plan, don't get me wrong. Adrian is one person that I have literally nothing in common with. But to come in, guns blazing, this early in the war zone is a HUGE mistake, one that will probably end in a lot of extra stress for Thomas. But, it is good for me, because even though Thomas likes to spill all the tea to me, he is someone that I could very well afford losing. Kait is finally in the war zone. This could also be a pivotal moment because I would be shocked if people do not gun for her this round. I don't really want her out yet because I feel like she's a great shield for the merge, but we shall see what people want. basically, even though I don't really have any of my closest allies in the war zone (ian, Corey, Madison), I might be okay because of Thomas v Adrian, and MAJOR threats being here. The only thing that could fuck me up is if Owen tries to pull something. I do not trust that kid and want him out early merge. But for now I am just trying to lay low and vote with majority.

against all odds, I'm still safe! Warzone looks like a crackden tonight and I'm nowhere near it. I hope Owen makes it out okay. Kait, though chaotic, is someone I'm getting closer to. I would like to have her around until around f9??? we'll see. Same kind of story w Maynor. I need Thomas and Stephen OUT. Timmy as well. They are on my Arya-style kill list. I've been immune for ??? 4 tribals in a row now??? I still have my save vote to use as I have not been to tribal since obtaining it. I have also acquired a rock-save thing that Ian and I dug up together. Basically, if we go to rocks, I can use it to save myself (immune from my rock being picked). Nifty lil power... Hopefully I also get this save vote and don't become the owner of a dead power. After tomorrow's tribal, we'll be final 14. 10 gone. only 11 more to go before I'm in FTC. or 12. I don't care. As long as I'm there in the end. Ideally, with Ian and Owen and I come out victorious. I am playing nice girl, liar AND schemer. The game is outwit, outlast and you can't outwit Corey Rae Jepsen baby! and if you want the truth, this is Corey. I suspect Owen-Kait-Thomas to vote the same way. i expect Adrian-Matt to vote the same way. Chloe and Stephen are wild cards. Trace... I am praying for to be okay as well. If Chloe-Stephen-Trace-Matt-Adrian work together, they could get Thomas or Kait out. We'll see! I feel bad wanting Kait out as I do like her but if she goes w/o me having a hand in it... I'll be sad bc I like her but happy bc I think she's too smart to keep very long. She'll catch on to me. She'll plan my demise, which is exactly why I need her close to me as long as she's here. Also - Maynor coming in 2nd? I'm out here busting my butt and they're gonna rank me number three? after someone who can't even barely walk and barely do anything and all he does is sit around and fuss and curse everyone.. I was VERY insulted. (this a crystal cox quote sgflksgls) But fr he said he barely did any. mmhmmmm.. If i was on the fence about him before, he just told me what side of the fence to fall on. 

Im glad Im safe. Idk how this  vote will actually go. I wish luck to thomas matt kait. And ithers but cant remember who from other side is in it. Today imma just keep talking to ian and corey to make deeper bonds with then and enjoying my grad party. Drunk maynor may leave a confessional later.

This warzone is by far the most crucial one in my game. I’m absolutely PARANOID at this point because Kait gave me some info that Ian is mad at me for telling Jacob to vote him, wasn’t my idea but okay. I’m at a point where playing in the middle will leave me getting absolutely squashed in the middle. My allies Kait and Adrian are totally at odds with each other, and Thomas is targeting Adrian and Adrian is targeting Thomas and like, I just wanna vote Chloe. I have the feeling that Adrian needs to go this time around, it would free me of the threat of being sign partners in this game and I’d rather leave bitter betrayals for the pre jury portion of the game. As long as I’m not getting votes and I can keep holding on to this idol and some semblance of good graces with everyone in the game I’m satisfied.

Well I forgot to submit the video confessional I will later lol but I want Adrian out. He seemed very d*ckish about me being inactive and I am not taking kindly to it. It seems Trace is with me and so it Kait and Owen. I hope I can get on more person so we can get Adrian out.

I'm highkey getting 15th again... and I'm gonna cry. Like this fucking hurts so much. People aren't talking to me and the few people are just talking about life and pretty much anything but the vote. Getting a third 15th placement will literally crush my heart and soul so much, so I pray that something works out in my favor.

So happy to be safe, didn't think I would be. Ummmmm, looking at who is going to tribal, i'm not sure who is going to get voted out. I would be so sad if Kait goes, but it would be a smart move in all honesty because this is the first time she's gone to tribal. Getting her or Owen out would be a big move, but I need them in the game for the time being because they are some of the only people who are seen as bigger challenge threats than me. Although I am only safe because of the tribe I'm on, I've never scored the best overall and so really it's an interesting scenario, if I was on the other tribe I would be at the warzone, yet on mine I got 3rd. I just hope it's not a unanimous vote because I want people to come back to camp with drama.

I feel more sick than I ever have and now I’m back in the war zone. How fun. I just hope I can manage to stay safe yet again, I feel like that’s unlikely though 

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

Its Alcohol Time!!!!!!!!

Show just got out and barely anyone messaged me the whole time whoops! I think I’m about to get blindsided tbh this is too quiet lmaooo but Kait and I pushed Adrian so hopefully that’s it. If not then it’s been fun. This seems too easy so I’m not expecting much nnnn but if I’m here.... I’m goin for it 

Im drinking more now. And im nervous who is leaving tonight. Hope the people im working with stay alive.

Good news! I won the past two challenges and have been safe!  That is awesome. Even better news is I just searched Q10 and got a hit which means I’m near an idol :)

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

I am drunk. And i miss havjng my drinkjng buddies in dani alyssa n jess. And havung jones be on call. I need to find some drinking buddies here to have more fun. Plus monty alyssa n johnny r doing amazing as hosts this seasob.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: hey Janis: how you settling back in? Grace: ugh Grace: no weirder than its gotta be for you tho Janis: 😕 bummer Janis: lack of sunshine too real a metaphor Janis: well Grace: OMG SPILL Janis: Cass text and the situation sounded dire enough that I had to just talk to him Janis: and thank fuck, it didn't blow up in my face Grace: Love it Grace: not the dire situ obvs but like Grace: 💘💘 Janis: Yeah Janis: I think it's gonna be alright Grace: Yay!! Grace: I called it but still buzzing to hear it from you babes Janis: You wanna claim to know things now? Janis: let you have it 😜 Grace: excuse you bitch I do know things Grace: but it's not hard when you and barista boy are so obvs Janis: 🔮 Janis: obvs enough you spotted him? Janis: keep it on the DL Grace: Duh Grace: 😂 Janis: 😂 Awh Janis: poor baby Grace: I don't have to feel bad for either of you any more so Janis: Shame Janis: getting used to the perks Grace: cope with it bitch im not bringing you food just cos Grace: it's your turn tbh Janis: are you that 💔 forreal Grace: not about to ✂ levels of hard honey Grace: but idk Janis: thank god, don't you dare piggyback on my depression era bob, bitch Janis: no twinning Janis: you'll get into your groove with the whole LDR vibe Grace: eww never call it that again Grace: and no thanks there's no way I could pull off the cut Grace: how soon can I call him? its a lot Janis: whatever i call it, it is what it is, babe Janis: he'll be happy to hear from you already Janis: don't stress it Janis: pretend you're practicing your Spanish if you wanna play it 😎 Grace: we both know my spanish is A++ and so does he Janis: don't need to know how you've proved it thanks Grace: cos you know Grace: omg how did I get myself into this Grace: rom coms dont get made on any of this cos its too cringe Janis: stop 😷 Janis: let your 😍 get the better of you Janis: can't fight it now Janis: step off my bit, like Grace: thanks babes Grace: guess we've fully switched Grace: you're in with the advice Janis: what can I say Janis: momentary blip and I'm back to being the wise one Grace: rude Grace: I'm about to get top marks in Spanish until we leave school so Janis: you can thank Mateo in your speech if you like Grace: might have lost him by then but i'll always have the skills 🙏 Janis: oh honey Janis: so pessimistic Grace: uh no Grace: the realest Grace: you've been there with past me Grace: it's about time like Janis: he's not like your past beaus though Janis: is he Grace: okay no Grace: I'll chill Grace: I'm just Janis: ? Grace: let's not go there Janis: fine Janis: not like i was just the most vulnerable with you or anything 😏 Grace: you bitch Grace: okay like I'm being dramatic but it's just such a thing Grace: everything that's happened and I'm still like ?? have I changed enough for this Grace: you know what I mean? Janis: that's up to you Janis: 'cos a lot of that shit, wasn't on you Janis: yeah, you weren't perfect but your bullshit came from picking the wrong sort of dudes Janis: and you've already changed that part of the puzzle so Grace: Maybe you are the wise one Grace: I wanna be good enough for him cos this whole ldr vibe won't be easy Grace: Gotta be worthwhile if he's putting way much effort in Janis: No maybe about it baby Janis: you'll be putting in as much Janis: that's all you need to do Grace: Is it? Janis: 'course Janis: he liked you Janis: you've done the hard graft on that one Grace: okay Janis: Trust Grace: weird idea but yeah Grace: 🤞 Janis: charming Grace: 😂 Grace: It's tea and it's lukewarm at best Janis: how many of the spanish lads did mia run through Janis: bet pablo won Grace: ewww Grace: so gross and so real Janis: got so cultured Grace: the levels of cringe when the only souvenirs they bring back are love bites and pee tests Janis: I mean Janis: beats a keyring Janis: but wasn't really vibing Grace: I'd take a keyring over Mia Janis: Ooosh Grace: She's way harder to lose Janis: Savage but fair Janis: I know it Janis: suffered that for long enough Grace: #twining Grace: cos me too Grace: At least it's a good thing when barista boy Grace: love that he's highkey Janis: worked in my favour so Janis: not gonna disagree Grace: you two kill me omg Janis: shut up Grace: 🤐 Janis: it is good tho Grace: im happy for you babes Grace: even if im 😡 too cos im alone af Janis: soz you can't join in Janis: but i owe you several pity dates so, call 'em in when you're really feeling it Grace: yay Grace: im 100% planning to annoy your bf at work now hes not 💔 Janis: i'll warn him Grace: do it so he can work my angles Grace: been a while since he got his camera out for me Janis: 😑 if I didn't know that wasn't innuendo Janis: could pretend I don't and smack you down Grace: 😂 Grace: Chill I got a boy of my own to keep interested Janis: 👀 on you bitch Grace: 💅 Janis: 🔨 Grace: 🙄 Janis: anyway the real question Janis: do i milk the perks of being 💔 with the fam or do i come clean to get them the fuck out my face Grace: not even a q Grace: you'll crack and tell them Grace: dad's too highkey about eating feelings Janis: yeah Janis: already getting content fat Janis: can't also pile on the sad fat Janis: nightmare Grace: OMG shut up Grace: I'll smack you Grace: so unfair Janis: 🤷 Grace: such a bitch Janis: whatever Janis: like you're a whale Grace: next to you like Janis: you're mad Janis: its different body types Janis: you're more like rio Janis: and edie Janis: me and billie are more twiggy, thanks dad 🙄 Grace: ugh Grace: please im nothing like Rio Grace: Or Edie Janis joined the chat 84 minutes ago Janis: Yeah Janis: not in the bad ways, don't worry Grace: 🙄🙄 in any ways tbh Janis: who you like then Janis: or you think you ❄ Grace: more like 🦆 Grace: but anyway Janis: bitch please you know how that one goes Janis: swan the whole time Grace: bitch that's a kid's story Grace: not living it Janis: may as well Janis: living with old mother hubbard, like Grace: 😂 Janis: can't be normal with this narrative Janis: sadly Grace: ugh real Janis: but fuck normal right Grace: 👏 Grace: If Mia's it then yeah Janis: we all know normal is code for basic so, yeah Janis: we might be fucked but at least we ain't that Grace: Thank god Grace: nicest thing you've ever said to me too Grace: doubly blessed here Janis: don't get too used to it Janis: still me, like Grace: Do I need to warn Jimmy? Janis: Nah Janis: but he ain't you Janis: no offense 😘 Grace: we all know Grace: we see your 😍 Janis: duh Janis: you been there too Grace: did you tell him? Janis: that you fancied him? Janis: we been knew Grace: GURL PLEASE Grace: that you love him Janis: oh Janis: ha Janis: maybe Janis: if i only just managed to say it to him, what makes you think imma shout it to you bitch 😜 Grace: OMG HAVE I NOT SUFFERED FOR THIS Grace: 😂 Janis: I know, you love the fairytale ending Janis: to be continued, babe Grace: Rude Grace: Gonna have to watch Netflix if you won't let me binge on your drama Janis: netflix and chill ur man Janis: dirty hoe Grace: excuse you Grace: that is a good idea tho Janis: i know Janis: only an hour ahead, thank fuck the school didn't shell out for a more exotic exchange Grace: ikr? id die Grace: i like you boy but i like sleeping too so Janis: 😂 Grace: you ever coming home or you just living over there with him now? Janis: solid plan Janis: though diego and Iggy would get pissy if I stole their respective studios Grace: I'd take them being mad over his dad cos that's option 2 Grace: and he's such a Janis: bellend Janis: gonna be fuming i'm back Grace: oh god Grace: least youve got your fans in his brother and sister Grace: and that dog like Janis: sure you're still bobs number 1 Janis: won't tell him YOU'VE moved on tho Grace: oh no what a homewrecker move of me Grace: he's soooo sweet Grace: that's why I brought him back some Spanish 🍬 Janis: that'll soften the blow Janis: be his sweet bitch and you can sow your wild oats Grace: 😂 Grace: boys are so easy Grace: you can take them for me if you don't take the credit bitch Janis: no promises Janis: i'm getting back in good books here Grace: 👌 I'll deliver them myself Grace: 👀 on you Janis: you can when you're forcing headshot duties on jim Grace: true Janis: s'alright, I ain't down for being 'muse' 'til this shit grows out Grace: BUT IT'S CUTE Janis: 👖🔥 Grace: not even Grace: I like it Janis: I'll make it work Janis: like you always say Janis: hardly fashion forward am i Grace: you're obvs making that work too babes Janis: sure Janis: butch dyke chic Grace: shhhh Grace: so not Janis: have to get billie to take notes Grace: good luck getting her to do anything Janis: True Janis: how long can a baby be an excuse Janis: no shade Grace: like 2 years at most Grace: but in this fam 2 seconds Grace: gotta have and do it all Janis: she's outta time then Janis: do 👏 some 👏 work 👏 bitch Grace: Big mood Janis: cue her angry model rant Janis: it's a real job, okay 😜 Grace: I'm so mad about it Grace: never once been spotted in town so unfair Janis: gutted Janis: could be a creepy fam sitch Janis: wannabe kardashians, know you'd love it Grace: obvs Janis: 😂 are you sure Janis: what if you're the khloe tho Grace: that's so mean omg Grace: but i'd still take it Janis: don't do yourself like that hun, none of us need to take that bullet Grace: easy for you to say Kim Grace: Don't tell Rio that's you like she'd go off Janis: 😂😂 she got the tapes Grace: omg yeah didn't think of that Grace: take back your kim status Grace: i'm obvs kylie anyway her taste in lads like Janis: mhmm, and the egomaniac mans #sozkanye #sozbuster #but Janis: i'll be your kendall then Janis: nothing like the rest and seems uninterested in their shit half the time Grace: 😂 Grace: shamelessly the prettiest Grace: 👀 you Janis: 😏 Janis: billie can be kourtney 'cos remember when kim told her she was boring to look at Janis: savage Grace: iconic Janis: then no one has to be khloe, sorted Janis: though her kid is cute Grace: 😍😍😍 ikr Grace: so many of them are Grace: unfair Janis: we all know why Janis: #goblack Janis: Ma did it better Grace: Gonna tell Jimmy he's dumped already like? Grace: Cold Janis: 😂 not being that bitch Janis: if I ever say I'm having kids, you need to assess a lot more than that Janis: like hell no Grace: believe it when I don't see it Grace: you were saying you weren't 💘 once upon a time Janis: I wanna have a life tho tah Grace: if anyone's proved you can it's everyone in this fam Grace: girl please that's not an excuse Janis: not saying it is, just a reason to keep on the pill, like Janis: i'm hardly Ma Grace: 😂 Janis: imagine Janis: poor fuckers Grace: let's not cos i agree with you and thats weird enough Janis: i can fight you if you like Janis: always a pleasure Grace: the ✂ taken the fun out of it Grace: love a dramatic hair pull moment Janis: oh, there's still enough to pull 😏 Grace: TMI Janis: 😂 Grace: if you were talking about his I'd be listening though Grace: he may be white but hes still cute Janis: square up Grace: girl no Grace: not trying to ruin my nails for anyone thank you Janis: shoulda thought about that Grace: think on your possessiveness hun Janis: no bitch Janis: he's mine Janis: end of story Grace: 💍 Janis: 🖕 Grace: 💋

[ts-seychelles]

EP 6. - “Eh, Maybe Some Decaf Tea” - DAN

Creating my first alliance with asya and vilma? legend status planning to get augusto to make one between myself dan vilma and him? also legend status. Get me IN with that social positioning mama. If I'm not going to tribal I gotta do SOMETHING

(A LITTLE LATER)

I feel I should write a semi serious long confessional about losing Zach, but I'm absolutely shook. I was FaceTiming Joanna during the tribal council, and I was actually baffled. I know he played a little hard, made lots of alliances with people and was really going after it, but I'd figure that something else would go down with that tribal council........ idk. Something about what happened last night makes me feel unsafe in the game, and I don't know how to respond to it. Ricky, the night before tribal, was the one who spilled all the tea about Zach, which I just didn't know completely about until Ricky told me, but more importantly, all of this about Zach showed me that I'm really not as "in" with the OG Lazare as I thought I was. Not knowing any of this information about Zach, me not knowing that other people knew about the 6 person alliance that Zach tried to form.... it just makes me feel out of it The good thing is that I'm very much working on my relationships with the people from the original Lazare that are currently on my tribe, and honestly, if that other tribe gets rid of people like Roxy or Ruben next, then maybe my game can restart with brand new relationships at the merge. I figure if people knew this much about Zach, they probably knew about my relation to him, and how involved I was in his game. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me, but for now, just gotta keep working my relationships in my tribe and hope that I can make it to the merge and MAYBE find another idol lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVAWPhD1I1o

So Johnny and I have been on the same tribe for forever now. To think he called me boring last org oof. I swear I'm not boring, I just didn't want to take you to the end that game >.> I'll try this time as long as you don't fuck me over sngkfdbnhgjh. Also I fucking hate winterbell and everything about it. Orsinwhateverthefuck sucks

i completely forget to submit for the reward challenge like a dumbass, BUT ITS OK BECUASE WE STILL WON. this next challenge makes me worried though because it is literally based off luck lmao kill my ass

I don’t have anything to say bitch. i got the idol clue rip. that’s IT. thanks for sponsoring me, dr. pepper!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBxuZVACfac

So we're going to tribal tonight, which means for the first time in 22 days..... I am actually going to tribal vnfjkdlsnvjdfklnvjlkdfnjklvndfjklvndf I have a lot of thoughts going into tonight, specifically the fact that I wanted to make a move on Ricky, but also Dan kinda fucked it all up kjvnldfnsjklvndfjklvf Dan, Ricky and I have a chat from the people who competed in jeopardy, and as cliche as it is, we decided that the three of us should work together. Also while this was all happening, Dan and Augusto BOTH previously, before we lost, spoke to me about "splitting up" Asya and Ricky because they were apparently in an alliance with Roxy or Nicole or something like that, and Nicole told Vilma, and Vilma told Augusto, and now Augusto told me........ and here we are. They wanna split it up, and honestly I'm all for it. I don't want to keep around a lot of Lazare people because I felt pretty uncomfortable on that tribe with my social positioning, and even though I was in an alliance with Zach, Ruben and Roxy, it still feels idk. The BIG thing that I was coming around to was the fact that Dan TOLD Ricky in our jeopardy chat that Augusto wanted to separate Ricky and Asya, and that just made me so...... hmph annoyed? at Dan. I feel that wasn't a smart move, and when you've got information, you've just gotta hold it close to your chest and talk to the people who ALSO know about that information, and Dan just kinda threw Augusto under the bus, who REALLY wanted to work with him, and now Ricky is losing any potential trust in Augusto and idrk what to do about it. It's messy, but no one REALLY knows that all of this messiness is happening except for Dan, Ricky and myself because of the jeopardy chat, whomever they told (Ricky probably told Asya), and then I told Vilma bc I trusted her and wanted her to be on the same page as me. My gut is telling me that Augusto is going to be fine, and that Vi is likely going to be the one going home, but it's definitely going to get crazy if this tribe goes to tribal again, and we may have to see the tribe implode between Augusto vs Ricky/Asya vs Dan for exploiting all the information. It could get nuts. Honestly though? Keeping the problematic people around to make me blend in more and have to worry about getting voted out less and less? I'll take it. I'm actually trying to be so non threatening this time it hurts, and I'm hoping I'm accomplishing that for now? i'm sure once we get to merge things will change teehee

(A LITTLE LATER)

OH ALSO Vilma found the idol and I'm kinda pissed bc I was SO CLOSE to finding it before her, but she beat me to it. it was her idol clue, so she deserves it, but she told Me AND Asya........... and idk if you should tell Asya that information, especially because she is kinda rogue sometimes, and the less people knowing the better, BUT nothing bonds an alliance together like that kinda information, so it turns out the Power Bottoms (newly formed alliance between Vilma, Asya and myself) is going to go SWIMMINGLY

Hello 👋🏻 My name is Pastor Nicole and I am here to share with you this most important confessional Okay anyway I’m in a better mood today than most of my past confessionals so, enjoy that much. Things have been going well. I’m pretty sure Ruben got some cracked ass shit at Ghost Island and is just itching to use it. But, we won so he can’t ha HA ha. Anyway being on a tribe with my boyfriend started out kind of rocky since I’m kind of the stubborn one in our relationship but in this game Jared knows more about things so like....it’s been a bit tough for me to follow directions of a man! That’s not my style. But it is...what will probably get us both to the end of this game, if anything. Because I really don’t know that much about survivor and my strategy of kind of flopping until I need to backstab, just isn’t gonna work when we together are this big of a threat. So, I gotta like loosen the reigns and let him guide the horse ya know. But trust and believe in the words of Little Mix, “I’ll let you come take the wheel long as you don’t forget I got the power.” Which I’m sure is about sex but, I’m ....strictly talking about the game I swear. Anyway besides that I’ve got some fun alliances going and my little legacy thing, it’s cute. I’ll talk more about that later (which is always what I say in these because giving too much information is also, not my style.)

https://youtu.be/NDzub2LkO1k

Tonight it seems like we are voting Vi. Agustuo wanted me to vote Ricky or Asya because they are a big duo but I told him that they don't really seem to be bothering anyone right now. As far as I know Ricky hates everyone lmaooo. It also might be a good idea to get as many people from the other side to the OG Malabar tribe, because we seem to be sticking together pretty well.

So fun fact Ruben is trying to get me and jg to turn against Nicole and Jared. And idk who to believe about all this. Like who actually has my back outside of JG. And like Roxy and Ruben say they have ours but do they

So do I have tea? Eh, maybe some decaf tea. Me, Johnny, and Ricky are basically an alliance, with Asya on the side (idk if she knows that or not but whatevs). Augusto thinks him and I are close. He disclosed he wanted to go for Ricky or Asya, I went to Ricky and told him. Augusto tried to rally Ashen, who wasnt into it tbh, and now Augusto looks dumb lol The plan as of right now is for Vi to get the chop. Will it happen? Sis I hope so. She’s just bland and doesn’t talk to anyone, so people can’t justify making a move against Ricky because Vi is basically dead. I had a Thats So Raven moment in the car today when i was thinking about this game. I was thinking about how sickening a merge at 11 would be with me, Johnny, Jared, Nicole, Asya, and Ricky being the majority alliance. Then I thought about a me, Nicole, and Asya black widow final three where we vote out all of our men at f6 so that the three of us can get to the end. How sickening. We all have a guaranteed jury vote and we all look pretty.

Alright so I somehow managed to survive my first tribal back at Lazare and I highkey feel bad about it, but I'm still here so I am trying to take everything out of this second chance. I definitely feel like my odds of winning are close to zero especially after everything that went down, but close to zero is still better than zero, right?? Oh, and I found an idol too, WHAT???? This is the first time I've had an idol in an org and I don't know what to think about that. I got lucky with the reward and received a clue that was really helpful. I might have made a big mistake telling Johnny an Asya about the clue in our alliance chat because in the end I would have found the idol without their help and since I told about the clue I was pretty much forced to reveal that I had found the idol as well. I feel like I'm going to become a big target soon and everyone is going to know about the idol. Our new tribe managed to win the first challenge, but the second one came down to luck and we were unlucky so yay, tribal awaits! Although everyone seems to be in agreement to vote out Vi tonight since she's been a bit busy and inactive and hasn't talked to people a lot. I'm definitely okay with that, I always enjoy a nice unanimous vote haha. Johnny told me that Augusto had tossed out the idea to vote out Ricky to split up Asya/Ricky who seem to be friends, and Dan later confirmed this was true. But right now it seems that people have settled on Vi and I'm honestly happy about that because 1) I would feel bad voting out an active player over an inactive and 2) Asya knows about my idol so I don't want to blindside her anytime soon. Other than that I'm not entirely sure where my loyalties lie at the moment but I'm sure it's going to become clear if we end up having to go to tribal again. Of course there's always a chance that everyone's bullshitting me and I'm getting blindsided later tonight, but I find it pretty unlikely that NO ONE of our tribe of 8 would let me know about that... So I am probably going to try and get some sleep now, and unfortunately miss tonight's tribal. I need to sleep after all these sleepless nights okay.

https://youtu.be/4Vgxagy6pjY

[hunterlockwood-blog1]

hey lovelys !! it’s ya girl rachel here sliding in to the game completely unorganized despite the fact i’m an admin? tbh, sounds about right !! anyway, i’m SO glad that you all decided to join our little roleplay and make our efforts worth while. now, before i get TOO sappy i’m going to proceed to introduce my two little shitbags. you know the drill, under the read more is all the infos !!

i’m gonna try to keep this short and sweet, but the likelyhood is i’m going to excessively ramble because i have a tenancy to do that.

TROIAN BELLISARIO? oh wait, that’s HUNTER LOCKWOOD from room #A110, the FEMALE TWENTY-TWO year old FLORIST. haven’t they been a resident for SIX MONTHS now? I’ve heard that they are COMPASSIONATE & INTELLIGENT, although resident whispers say they can also be NAIVE & EASILY MANIPULATED. i swear everytime i hear MEDICINE by DAUGHTER they always seem to come to mind!

TRIGGER WARNING: CAR ACCIDENT

grew up in a VERY sheltered household, her dad is a cop so she basically grew up hearing him complain about all the kids her age and all the petty little crimes or things they did and basically it made her terrified of being that kind of person bc she didn’t wanna make her dad annoyed with her like he was w/these people

she had an older sister who legit was like ?? light of her life tbh she aspired to be her so so sOoo much because she thought the literal world of her

her sister was a writer n started up a website when she was in highschool that was basically like.. different columns with different themes like ‘whats in right now’ or what events were happening in their neighborhood/school or study tips ya get?

so smol hunter was also a writer n a pretty good one like a journalist n whatever 

and so one day big sis invited her to collab and basically they ran the site together

tbh i like to think it’s was probs pretty popular bc her sister would of been outgoing asf and probably had a lot of friends

fast forward a couple of years and welp 

basically her sister got killed by a drunk driver and lmao bc i hate myself her dad is a cop aka...... he was called to the scene fuck me up why do people let me do this 

but the death kind of majorly fucked up her family a lot? like u think her dad was overprotective before?? it got ten million times worse because the last thing he was gonna do was lose another kid

but like, minus all of that like the house just became really quiet and her family weren’t as close anymore

hunter is legit such a compassionate person, so seeing her parents in pain she bottled all her own emotions up  and put them on a shelf for another day and rather than mourning she took care of her broken parents 

which is honestly the worst thing she could’ve done because she still to this day has never fully mourned the loss of someone that legit meant the world to her and it’s just ?? kinda fucked her up a lot

after it happened she pushed kinda everyone away? like she had a friendship group and a boyfriend and she just kinda shoved them out of her life because she was like nope lol 

instead she took it upon herself to try and fill the role of being the ‘star child’ like her older sister was. she has a tenancy to completely overwork herself tbh, or will literally say yes to anything? 

wHICH TBH YEAH OKAY she’s a literal doormat and while her family aren’t like super toxic her dad is kinda..... a dick? but in a way you can’t really notice it

but he pretty much uses her as a doormat and she’s completely wrapped around his little finger like he still treats her like a little kid and she’s not allowed to break his rules and she’s just very very terrified of disappointing him so she isn’t really living her life to the fullest because she’s too focused on being this pristine little good girl 

she lived at home til recently and tbh her dad highkey hates where she’s living because it’s not the nicest place and he’s always trying to get her to move and offers to pay for it if she does

her mom owns a couple of florists, which is how hunter got the job; she’s been working there for a long ass time and tbh she actually enjoys it? she’s basically head of the store she works in tbh. 

oh also she refuses to write anymore bc it reminds her of her sister

also has a long haired german shepard who is love of her life she’d die for that dog

this got so long i’m sorry i’m trying to fit everything in rip

oH I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION LEGIT THE REASON WHY I EVEN PICKED THIS SONG WTF

okay so, hunter is 100% a person who overthinks literally EVERYTHING and after tisby died it kind of became impossible for her to sleep? i mean tbh she’s probs lowkey an insomniac, she would go days without sleeping and just be a general zombie 

but her doctor gave her like.. sedatives?  basically a medication that would help her sleep but sleeping is so much easier than being awake when you’re legit despressed asf despite the fact you don’t show it so she kinda... got... addicted??? 

lowkey still takes them sometimes because she’s a rly bad sleeper tbh she thinks to much idk

also hates cars now and tries to avoid them like the fucking plague 

VICTORIA JUSTICE ? oh wait, that’s CARTER HASTINGS from room #A210, the TWENTY-THREE year old BAKER. haven’t they been a resident for THREE MONTHS now? I’ve heard that they are AUDACIOUS & ALLURING, although resident whispers say they can also be OBDURATE & FIERY. i swear everytime i hear WREAK HAVOC by SKYLAR GREY they always seem to come to mind!

ima try make this one considerably shorter okay

sHE IS A PIECE OF SHIT

ya’ll don’t udnerstand i almost just left it as that tbh

okay so basically homelife growing up was lit she had a mommy n daddy who loved her v much and loved eachother until one day they didnt

which by that i mean mommy dearest found daddy-o fucking her bestie in their bed and it messed her up as fuCK

things just went super downhill from there basically carter just kinda raised herself bc her mom was kinda just ?? gone in the head a lil ?? like she doped herself up so much she just wasn’t entirely herself at all anymore 

carter just got into bad crowds because she was viewed as that kind of person tbh dirtbag aesthetic asf

she’s on parole rn and has an ankle monitor on for the next like six months bc she’s a bad human and got caught up in this drug scheme that was going on and they all got caught for it 

literally tried to flirt her way out of the situation tbh like she does with everything

if she can bat her eyelashes and dirty talk her way outta something she’s sure as fuck gonna try

probs doesn’t give a shit about ur opinion of her

has a shitty temper and will literally fight anyone at any time about anything 

idk man she’s just super problematic and i hate her fucking guts

oH BUT OKAY SHE BAKES ???

i mean both herself and actual baked goods 

it just kinda happened on accident like she got hired in this place after she got put on parole bc it was part of the deal she got a good job n wahtever but it turns out?? she lowkey had an undiscovered talent

is the type to bake at 4am and will probs knock on ur door asking for flour or to use your oven or something 

makes lit pot brownies js js 

ya’ll this is a tOTAL trainwreck, but i’m too excited to just post it and get to plot with you all !! so on that note, please please lets plot? i plan on shooting everyone a message about plotting but if you wanna beat me to it be my guest tbh.

[survivornavarino]

Episode #10: I Gotta Try To Mix Stuff Up -Mo

F11 Cast Assessment: http://youtu.be/3hjwhTlBURs

HOW IN THE FUCKING FUCK DID I STAY! I WAS SO SURE THAT I WAS LEAVING. I had a plan with Ben to try and get votes on Jake, but that didn't work out so I had to put the votes on Ben. Shoo kith to the core.

https://m.popkey.co/43a077/WxxOd.gif

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that Autumn, Eddie, Shoib, Jake and Bec are all in an alliance. Maybe Trixie and Matthew are in it too. Not good. I gotta try to mix stuff up. I'm in the minority.

https://youtu.be/DB5FzlfMBIU

Me changing my vote really changed the outcome of the mess I created huh https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohhwhjxmrQwLXJFgk/giphy.gif On a serious note what I did was wild and my own power scares me I need to chill the fuck out cause if jury is gonna act any way like Ben, I'm in trouble. I DO NOT want to slit every throat and highkey I'm covered in blood already btwn this and the Drew thing and I just like... need a minute. If I stick with Jake and Eddie they could easily benefit off a petty bitter jury and just say I was their gameplay, especially Eddie. Like all the "tea" starts with him but I'm the one using my strategic and social powers to make votes happen. If we're a "we" why am I the only one with blood on my hands? I can't explain it fully but it's come to light that the Drew vote was based on an al-lie-ance, which may or may not have been started by Eddie, and then a day later Eddie's trying to convince me to do a tie vote this round and I'm like lol no it's worth it right now that's too messy. Yet Eddie and Jake kinda make it happen anyway and conveniently need me to step in to get everyone to stop targeting Jake so I do, further implicate myself in that entire fiasco, vote for Heather then change my vote to Ben because Jake is begging, I cost myself a jury vote in the process, and now it's all over and once again I'm holding the bag. Except this time I feel like shit because Ben didn't derserve that but it worked out so Eddie and Jake are happy as can be and are already trying to find ways "we" can further stir the pot. Meanwhile I'm over here shooketh knowing I'm turning friends into jury enemies https://78.media.tumblr.com/80040e0dfe8ba752bd5b545fcb1b26d8/tumblr_of7tfgfboP1velux2o8_400.gif I'm not saying I'm gonna turn on Eight and Dr. Brenner but like never say never. You don't see any of my other allies exploiting their relationship with me and egging me on to be cracked because it's almost like- that's wrong and manipulative as fuck. If I had to pick between the two I'd keep Jeight cause Jeight (Jake + Eight) is my kindred cracked brother who also happens to be a bigger threat lmao. Mitch is literally Hopper and tbh I thought I could kill him and Shoib but the thought of that makes me sick. That's not who I am and the fact that Mitch and Shoib have never asked me to wile out it's very telling. I can already tell shit is gonna keep popping off cause there's a lot of people I don't want to personally kill because jury management and because I'm not that girl. All these moves put my game on the line, not everyone else's, so certain allies need me more than I need them. I went from 7 shields to 4 but at the end of the day if I'm protecting some of my shields more than they're protecting me, what good are they? I can slay all by myself https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohhwLCRptkjfHHiuY/giphy.gif

Okay bitches it's time for me to explain last round more in-depth because wow I did that. I was really nervous when I merged since Eddie/Autumn lied to me about the Drew vote and I didn't know if they'd still work with me. Me and Trixie played up being alone, and Julia added us to a chat to call where she pretty much listed all her allies and said she'd be with us over them. Me and Autumn have an interesting relationship, we cussed each other out after the vote but after we explained everything we kissed and made up. I was genuinely upset that Eddie lied to me like that so I made sure he knew I was and I think it helped in making him want to keep working with me. So I talked to Autumn at the beginning of the day about the vote and said that I wanted a fave out. She brought up Ben and I agreed immediately bc I don't trust him. She also wanted to tell her alliance with Rebecka that they could do Heather because Rebecka wanted her out. So after that I called Heather and exposed the Julia/Mo/Ben/Rebecka/Matt alliance and told her that we needed to stick together. She ended up telling me that she knew Trixie had the idol because Julia told her, so I acted like I didn't know about the idol, but she pretty much confirmed to me that Julia trusts her the most. I needed the Ben vote to go through and I needed Heather to be the other vote, because I knew that Julia would flip on Ben to save Heather. Things got scary when at like 6PM I heard my name was going around. From what I gathered, Ben, Mo, and Matt wanted to vote me instead of Heather, but Rebecka was adamant about voting Heather and I told Eddie and Autumn to say they wanted Heather to keep the vote off of me. Right before the votes Trixie transferred me her idol and told me to play it if Ben got idoled so um wig? She also told me that she voted for rebecka last minute in case we both idoled the votes.... BUT tribal happened and Ben went HOME! WOOOO I was so happy and I hope those stupid faves who didnt bother talkin to me this round were fucking SHOOK. I'm ready 2 turn up...

I really want to win this immunity to keep my ass safe, especially from last round. BUT THE GAG IS I SUCK AT FLASH GAMES LSFAKSFIL

Hi. I've been super inactive this week because I've been visiting friends but it is what it is.  So Ben getting voted out wasn't ideal, I would've loved to vote out heather but WHATEVER. I had to abstain from this challenge soooo I'm gonna be up for elimination and I hope I don't get votes this time! Who knows tho hehe not me 

lets vote julia OUT... sis you're not about to play this middle in this game!! That’s me and autumn’s job! That’s why I’m throwing julia so far under the bus right now. You can only play the middle in survivor if you have people who have a lot of trust in you from both sides. I’m making sure that matt and rebecca never look at julia as a possible number again because they distrust her and feel like she’s thrown them under the bus. It would be a cute concept if we could just vote julia out this round honestly. Vote julia out this round, somebody who has been playing the middle, but also keep heather in because rebecca and heather will still be a big conflict in this game that autumn and i can take full advantage of. Then next round we blindside matt with that THICC idol in his pocket. I’m going to continue to be a little lowkey though. I just got to keep working on my social bonds at the moment while allowing Autumn and Jake to continue to do most of the leg work when it comes to getting votes and have our plans come into fruition. At the same time I’m always going to make sure that one on one with Autumn and Jake, I’m always putting a lot into our strategy and what we want to do. I need a good balance of doing enough to not be considered a goat, and not doing enough to be considered that binch who will probably win the game. If this works how I want it to, Autumn and Jake should be targeted before I am. They'll be seen has the big threats to win while for a little I’ll just be seen as a number until I have my breakout episode. [3/5/18, 4:35:22 PM] Bec: Yeah it sounds right [3/5/18, 4:35:41 PM] Bec: Honestly I would've voted for Ben [3/5/18, 4:35:45 PM] Bec: If I had known [3/5/18, 4:45:33 PM] Matthew Summers: okay just read all this [3/5/18, 4:45:56 PM] Matthew Summers: yeah i torally get where ur coming from but its just lol to me they’d bring up those alliances [3/5/18, 4:46:33 PM] Matthew Summers: bitches were desperate [3/5/18, 4:46:47 PM] Matthew Summers: i think now more than ever we need each other tho Like if I literally got out of flipping on Matt and Rebecca with them feeling like Julia and Mo are the ones who were screwing them over last round then.... I think the play for me and Autumn is 100% get Julia to be the vote this round, and blindside Matt with the idol next round. Autumn and I will be able to continue playing the middle and eliminate a good social player who has a lot of connections around the tribe. Julia does trust Jake and tells him a lot so while I don't really speak to her I feel like I know where her head is at in this game. Idk, I guess I just hope I can somehow finesse her vote out. That would be iconic.

Ok so I think I am in a realy good spot right now and am kinda seen as a floater, let me go through each player and my thoughts on them cause why not? Autumn - Love her and kinda trust her, she seems really smart and I feel like she has my back for now and won't screw me over anytime soon, I am comfortable in my alliance with her and Mitch. Bec - Have barely talked to her, don't trust her and don't think I will get on with her at all, she seems to play the game based off personal feelings which is why I want to stay in her good books. Eddie - I love Eddie, he is a paranoid mess like me, he is leaking everything to Jake so like I wanna keep him around for as long as possible so we can gain some info. Heather - I want to keep Heather around so that Bec and Heather are at each others throats, I know they will want each other out for as long as they are here. JakeP - I trust him and he has my back but I want to take him out deeper into the game because he is such a big threat. Julia - Julia is crazy, she leaks EVERYTHING and its sooooooo annoying but I kinda trust her but don't want to tell her everything from now on. Matthew - Barely talked to him, feel like I have nothing in common with him. Mitch - Very quiet and seems like a SUPER loyal player but is a massive comp threat and want to kinda get rid of him at like final 7. Mo - Very quiet but love him and hopefully can build a better connection with him. Trixie - MY IDOL QUEEN, MY FINAL 2. WE MAKING FINAL 2 100%%%%%%%

So close, I am happy for Autumn though. So my plan now is to talk to everyone as much as possible so no one wants me out (watch me get eliminated this episode).

8th place better stay the fuck away from me

Ok Eddie, I see you going around spreading rumors of an alliance that doesn’t even exist to get Ben eliminated. Not on my gay watch.

I got heated over something that was true but out of context 

https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F05%2F01%2F635976589804739355-43642855_SPONGebob%2520name.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=781&h=dc57ed65ebfa23eccc12c1656da0d0990b983fedbbeba71deed5fe968a365170&size=980x&c=2605286685

okay bitches here’s the tea. so yesterday eddie told me that he was going to tell rebecka that julia leaked the core 3 and i didn’t want julia getting heat for that but it was too late bc eddie wanted to do it and even with me saying i don’t think it’s a good idea didn’t do anything. so he told rebecka and rebecka ended up freaking out on julia and she came to the chat with me and trixie but she immediately thought Mo leaked it so i ran with it because Mo leaked the 5 person alliance to Eddie before. fast forward to today, Mo told me that Julia leaked the alliance they had and was saying the same to Eddie, so I went to Julia and told her to get her to target Mo because I wanted him out this round tbh. I mean if I can get Mo/Mitch/Rebecka/Matt out i’ll be happy because I think they’re all still close. Julia also doesn’t trust Matt now because Eddie told me that Matt told him that Julia is shady so I spilled that tea to Julia as well. Eddie is worrying me a bit because Matt and Rebecka are still talking to him a lot and trust him.  like bitch what. whatever. i hope the faves continue to turn on each other :3

so eddie is a MESS. flipping to my alliance, flipping against us, then flipping back? thats circa 2014 matt summers teas. he gotta go soon, but we need him now rip

i dont trust julia anymore. she came to me trying to say she didnt throw rebecka and i under the bus but she def did so i’d love to vote her out butwe’re going with mo bc thats what eddie wants to do. sigh.

Hello I'm coming at you live from my sociology class hoping I don't get a strike The only names out there are julia and mo. I don't care about voting julia but if mo goes home I will be pissed and on the wrong side of the vote yet again. But that's fine because I GUESS I'm just playing the deception game from this point on. I'm loyal to Autumn and shoib but damn we are bad planners. I think because of how disorganized the merge tribe is I can get away with lying about my vote for a few more rounds.

I am watching this tribe chat like a fucking hawk!!  but also I wanna see how Kaoh Rong turns out? So if Mo and Julia could not blow up everyone’s game rn that’d be amazing. I’m SO glad I’m immune now God is good all the time

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r6xX_C_N-NQ

IM WORKING WITH MO RN AND WE ARE VOTING OUT MATT LMAO HeatherThe vote was Mo for like hours, which I was not really comfortable with, but I love Julia so I had to protecc her. HOWEVER, everything seems like it was a misunderstanding so now its Matt, who doesn't message me toooo much. Plus I am there for Mo since we had to suffer in the drinking challenge together. Sorry Matt kiss kiss.

So this is one of my last minute right before tribal confessionals! I'm feeling shook as fuck cause something's just not smooth in the buttermilk. Something is up and I think an idol will probably be played tonight. Everyone is saying Mo but nobody knows who Mo is targeting. Like shouldn't he be campaigning to people so why has nobody heard a name other than Mo? He either has an idol, or people are lying to me because I'm getting blindsided.... Neither of those options are good at all because it means I'm most likely getting voted out tonight. I just don't have a good feeling at all and maybe I'm just being paranoid but idk. My gut tells me something is up. I really don't wanna spend time in the jury with Ben. That would be hella awkward.

[misadventuresofmila]

Not that anyone cares but I’m finally at a place where I can discuss the tragedy that was my 20th birthday and not spiral into a depressive episode/ cry lmaooooo. 

K so I was getting ready to go abroad and my family was moving houses so I was spending time with my grandma and aunt in NYC. Shit was HIGHKEY misery from the jump. My aunt got 2 badass likkle kids DEM RUDE. And she was always arguing with my grandma or her husband and I hate that yelling shit my anxiety can’t handle the stress. I just be wanting to chill in some silence but nah. So anyways my (immediate) family was gassing my shit talking about having a birthday dinner in Brooklyn at this hipster black owned place that I been wanting to try. So my ass is getting HYPED tf up to be out the house doing shit with people I semi-like. 

Flash forward to the day of. It’s a Sunday my aunt is bitching and morning per usual, but I’m ignoring her ass cuz I know my night about to be lit. Bitch can’t kill my vibe not at all my twists were baking, my makeup came in the mail, I had a cute ass outfit picked out a bitch was ready to slayyyyy. So it’s getting to be like 4 and I’m starting to get ready i’m like half ready when my sister says we have to reschedule something came up. IM SICK AF BRUH. Like you don't understand being in the antagonistic household had taken a major toll on me. I already don’t like people raising their voice around me because my anxiety gets triggered like a motherfucker you know just trauma tings. So living here made me so anxious and I would never want to talk or do anything because I didn't wanna get yelled at cuz I knew my sensitive ass would burst into tears and not stop. Anyways so I tell my aunt that I’m gonna be staying for dinner cuz my family is busy and she starts going off talking about “You should have told me sooner I didn’t plan to make you dinner. Blah blah blah” I’m like.... bitch I just found out myself calm down it’s not that deep I can order out if need be and then she's like “oh you think you're too good for my food?? Then don’t eat anything here then since you're better than my cooking” and I'm legit like ??? So I go to my room and listen to “Awaken! My love” and cry into a pillow then my mom calls and I have to fake like I'm happy cuz I don’t want her to feel bad but she knew a bitch was miserable and kept apologizing. The upside was my aunt got me a store bought red velvet cake and I literally ate that for 9 days straight until I went to Australia LMAOOOO. 

My sis ended up taking me to dinner at the place but it wasn’t the same and my aunt’s bitter ass was like “why didnt you invite us”. I ignored her ass lmfaooo. I lowket hate her and would like to personally thank her for giving me anxiety attacks for 2 month straight :)))))