#he does not look like captain america. that man looks like mark winters but worse

[anachronistic-falsehood]

ik in canon armsmaster is described as this manly handsome white guy with short brown hair etc etc but for my own peace of mind im picturing him post-leviathan pre-surgery as a disgruntled scruffy guy while he's under house arrest. sorry i get attached to a guy character and immediately have to give them long hair and scruffy facial hair and get rid of all of his canonical muscles and give him a crooked nose and give him scars and five million other little physical traits in my mind or else i explode u understand im sure

[fandomfluffandfuck]

I don't have the energy to actually write much about Sebastian knowing proper choking techniques, so just a quick thought:

Ignoring an obvious kinky undertone that I strongly get the vibe from for Seb, I judt know he's been choked a time or two and has picked up techniques through bascially osmosis, lmao, what if Seb knows how to choke someone properly because of his role for Bucky? The winter soldier does it a shit ton. He had to have been trained for that. Stunts don't fuck around and choreography takes time to learn. Time that, Chris, we know, takes less of. He picks up stunts wildly fast, being shown beats back to back and parroting them perfectly. Seb, like a normal human, takes more time.

So, Sebastian probably worked a lot more with the stunt doubles and stunt performers before finally having Chris show up for a few practice runs before the final shot.

They practice a lot.

They test a few different camera angles, trying to figure out exactly how to solve this artistic problem. The tension pulls Chris' muscles into a tangled knot of anticipation. He could vibrate out of his fucking skin.

The intensity of that repeat repeat repeat, hand-around-your-neck problem solving is hell. Sisyphean if the boulder were pressing on your throat and you liked it. It's the closest Chris has been to Seb. Maybe. They've shot lots of scenes. Lots of stunts. None quite like this, though. Even when they were wrestling, all but fucking grinding, for Captain America: Winter Soldier, Chris at least knew how terribly torturous that would be, how much he would struggle through gritted teeth not to get hard. Here, now, he didn't expect this. It hits.

It's good.

It shouldn't be. But it is.

Chris has been fucking lusting after Seb hard since that first film--who could stare up at Sebastian (standing on an apple box to give the illusion hieght difference for skinny Steve) and not fall madly in love lust with such a pretty man--and needing to have his fist, cold and hard yet so gentle and caring every time they call cut, wrapped around his throat for his fuckin' job only makes it worse.

It was worse already when Seb showed up to set jacked outta fucking control, looking thick as fuck, prowling around, heavy and taking up space but still being so fucking sweet.

It's worse than worse the next morning when Chris rolls over in bed, sleeping naked, to feel a low, thrumming ache deep in the tendons and muscles of his throat to go with the gentle, expected pulse of morning wood between his legs--he knows how he gets on set with Sebastian, so close to him, breathing in his cologne, watching his face evolve, choking back the constant urge to praise his skill, his beauty, his everything.

Chris knows, immediately, with such a sensation around his neck even without the assistance of a mirror that he's got bruising, probably faint. He's just pale enough for it to show, he's sure, but, yes, bruising.

Huh.

Chris swallows on reflex, his mouth suddenly dry, then again on purpose, reveling in the ghostly, intimate sensation of squeezing touch. Tight. Touch. Just enough constriction to make him start to feel the edge of dizzy, like being tipsy.

Yeah.

The memories of yesterday lazily replay in Chris' tired mind.

A shiver rolls through him, leaving behind an army of goosebumps raised over his bare skin despite the heat of his body trapped in his bedsheets. The idea of Sebastian touching him--touching him--his mark left on his body, pressed into his skin, reminding him of exactly what he did, grabbed him and pulled him close, biceps fucking bulging, shoulders shifting, eyes so intense, mouth pink, face, just, like that.

God.

Chris remains in his bed, swallowing, sweating, and... thinking... for a little longer than he should.

He's late for his call time.

And he absolutely does not blush when the makeup artist clicks their tongue, carefully brushing their fingers across his jaw this way and that to get a sense of the bruising, and tells him he should ask the director for a raise. The stunt performers get adjustments, you know, when they take a really hard fall, so should you. That, or, see if you can bruise Seb up in return--they don't mean it, everyone loves Seb on set. It's impossible not to, look at the guy!

Chris doesn't want a raise. He doesn't want... he wants... he kinda wants Seb to do it again. He might really want to ask Seb to show him how so he can use it against him 🥴🥴 He wants red-faced and gasping and hitching breaths that are more moans than anything else, he wants eyes rolling back, he wants trembling, he wants lips loosely whimpering tighter, harder, more, please 😮‍💨

[cm-top-10]

C.M. Top 10: Most Dark & Gore Scenes &/or Characters in Cartoon Series

Warning: The following top ten may contain possible spoilers for those who haven't seen newer series. This post may also contain forms of graphic violence & some gore scenes that maybe too much for you to witness. So for your safety & others do not look unless it's at your own risk.

You've been warned...

We all discover at some point in time that not everything you know is allover the rainbow. Most times we see things we can't unsee or learn dark secrets of someone you thought you knew your whole life. & sometimes we learn things the hard way. Or the messed up dark way...

So for this 1st dark Top 10 features the most characters with a dark histories, secrets or just straight up dark/gore scenes. Which character did you not expect to have a dark side? Sadly you be the judge...

1. Invincible - Omni Man beating his son to a pulp.

After learning the dark truth that was revealed to Mark about his father's true intentions. Nolan tells his son the truth about why he was sent to Earth & why he killed the Guardians.

Telling him the reasons why he's here was so he could eliminate any potential threat to the Viltrum Empire. & that he was raising his son not out of responsibility or heroics, but to have him as a bred soldier of the Empire to kill anyone who stood in their way.

& he wanted Mark to join their cause with him.

After Mark angrily refused to help him conquer the planet. Nolan nearly beats the life out of his own son & yells to the top of his lungs saying how pointless it is to protect his home world. While killing millions of innocent people in the process of their brutal fight.

However before he could finish him off, Nolan suddenly realized what he did to his own child & fled the Earth in machspeed, shedding a tear.

They say fatherhood is complicated, but not like this...

2. Castlevania Lords of Shadow - Gabriel's dark fate

While on his journey to slay all three of the Lords of Shadow. Gabriel slowly learned they were the founders of the Order & told him the truth of his order's true intention from each Shadow Lord who too were being used by the Brotherhood of Light. Then when he finally reached the final Lord of Shadow, he learned about his wife's death & fell into dark despair.

Over time his heart grew darkened. & knew nothing but bitterness & sorrow...

But after defeating the three Lords, Laura appears to tell Gabriel that he awakened another ancient evil known as the Forgotten One. Who had plans to destroy all creation & they had to venture to the Brotherhood's fortress to find the entrance to where he was imprisoned.

However only dark begins can enter the realm. & the only way he can bypass it's effects & to defeat this ancient evil, was to become one himself...

So Laura asked him to drink her blood & free her of her torment. Hesitant at first he did what was asked of her & dranked every last drop of her blood, until she died.

He then defeated the Forgotten One & saved mankind. But at a cost of his soul & happiness.

Thus becoming a vampire.

A vampire the world would soon know & fear as Dracul the Dragon.

But that is another story...

3. Baki the Grappler - Yujiro Hanma

As most know Yujiro is the world's most unstoppable & cruelest warrior in the history of fighters. Not even the U.S. Military dares to go near him. Yes Yujiro the Orge has struck fear into many people, even military personnel of different countries. & he did it with no weapons & has turned the U.S. into his personal playground for death & battles.

But the most cruelest thing he's done was ripping the face of one of China's most respected Kaioh masters while facing him in battle, testing his worthiness. The reason Yujiro did this challenge was not to prove his worth but to show all of China & their leaders that they are worthless to him. & showed them all that he doesn't care about their hatred towards Japan noir their worthiness.

& he struck that fear into all who witnessed Ryu Kaioh getting defaced & brutally defeated. Yes this is one man who's definitely going to hell & is going to smile about it.

Because Satan himself would be pissing his buttflap in his sights in fear. While Yujiro fucks his succubus wife in front of his face knowing how little fucks he gives about his "sins."

4. Primal - Sauropod Massacre

After being infected by the Zombie Virus. The infected sauropod becomes a mad rouge & slaughters it's own herd in a bloody rage & massacre.

It left no survivors, ripped them apart & destroyed many of the herds' eggs leaving nothing remaining...

Truly whatever zombie virus this was it drove this poor creature mad & didn't stop until everything wasn't breathing.

Luckily Spear & Fang were able to run it into a dormant volcano. Where the infected dinosaur burnt to ash.

Hopefully now the poor beast is at peace...

5. Star Wars Rebels - Master Luminara's remains

In the search for Luminara to replace Kanan to be Ezra's new master. They soon learned too late that her remains were being used to lure any surviving Jedi out of hiding. So that any Sith Hunters like the Grand Inquisitor would slay them on the spot.

Sadly no one knows whatever happened to her corpse after they escaped. Or if the Empire even still has her.

Rest in peace Luminara wherever you are...

6. Legend of Tarzan - Death of Clayton

While battling in the trees, Tarzan defeated Clayton by tangling him into the jungle vines. But during his blind rage he angrily swiped vine after vine, until one wrapped his neck. Tarzan tried his best to warn him, but in his rage Claton cuts the vine that he was holding on to.

Then after it broke they both plummet to the ground. Tarzan landed safely, Clayton however was hung from above by one of the vines wrapped around his neck after it snapped it straight out from the fall.

There truly are things worse than fate...

7. RWBY - the Death of Adam Taurus

After weeks of stalking Blake & her group. Blake had no choice but to confront Adam for the last time with the help of Yang. The battle was harsh, but in the end they managed to out-think him by stabbing him from different sides. One in his chest & one in the back.

He then fell to his death over a huge waterfall after hitting his head over a ledge before plummeting into the water. Hopefully they've finally seen the last of Adam Taurus.

But let's also hope he doesn't pull a Cinder...

8. TFP Beast Hunters - Predaking beats the scrap out of Ratchet

After using Ratchet to wipe out mankind. The Decepticons threw him into the frails of a vengeful Predaking. Predaking then beats & claws Ratchet, throwing him around like a rag-doll. Until he was ready to finish him off, luckily Ratchet convinced him to hear him out. & told Predaking the truth about what had happened to his Predacon army.

After he told Predaking that it was Megatron who ordered his race's extermination. He asks why he did so & Ratchet replys--

Ratchet: Being on the receiving end of your might. One theory springs to mind, Megatron fears you & any like you.

In his blind rage Predaking stormed his way to Megatron, wiping out anyone who stood in his way.

Which led to his own demise, but that is a story for another time...

9. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - Stealy Joe gets his ass beat by Jotaro

Now this slimy bastard got what he deserves. Not only did he try to humiliate & blackmail Jotaro into doing his bidding. This cocky motherfucker goes & threatens a random little girl out of the blue. If Jotaro didn't face him like a man & does what he says.

With him up to here with the man's assholeness, our boi Jotaro decided enough is enough & beats the ever loving shit out of this guy. & after punching him multiple times, he literally sends him flying into a wall & throws him his receipt.

Rest in Hell, Joe you worthless bastard!

10. The Falcon Captain America & The Winter Soldier - Captain America U.S. Agent gets his arm broken.

John Walker the former Captain America was given a mantle he wasn't worthy of. Don't get me wrong as much as I had my doubts of him, I was willing to give him a benefit of a doubt. That is until he soiled Steve's good name by using his shield to kill a man in cold blood.

During his blind rage of vengeance, he chased down one of the Flag Smashers & constantly beats him over-&-over with the shield. & then kills him with a fatal blow to the chest area in front of tons of people.

After he murdered one of the perps, Falcon & Bucky tried to ask him to hand over the shield peacefully...

You can take a wild guess what Walker's answer was. He then attacked them with rage & ego, losing his shit. However that ego died as soon as Falcon & Buck breaks his arm to get the shield back. He was then discharged by the U.S. government & was relieved of his duties as Captain America.

Not only that but he then found his way into a dark path he may not be able to uncross.

But that part is another story for another time.

Either way he got dealt some shitty karma.

[itsany62]

SteveTony - Getting Together

Here are some Getting Together fics that I adore. Don't forget to leave kudos and nice comments in every fic!

Lovesick, by royal_chandler, 3 k >, fluff.

The depth of the flu aisle in the pharmacy is substantial, overwhelmingly so, and Steve is half-convinced he needs to return to the front and trade his basket for a full-on cart.

There's a Party Going on Right Here, by Annie D (scaramouche), Post-Endgame.

After the Battle of Earth, Tony hosts a party.

Open Tab , by machi_kun , 5k> words, Post-Avengers 2012.

Tony has a lot of money. Really. More money he could possibly ever spend by himself. So what if he spends some of it buying gifts for his friends? People like gifts! And Steve is his friend. His best friend, actually, inside the Avengers, and he’s glad it turned out this way - so it’s also a way of saying 'thanks for putting up with me', he thinks. He just wants Steve to be happy. If Tony can make him happy, then why wouldn’t he? Tony buying Steve gifts is no big deal. Shut up, Rhodey.

(Pretty) Odd, by machi_kun, 5 k> words, Developing Relationship, Fluff.

In his file, Tony Stark had been described as eccentric. He had also been described as a narcissist, as a self-destructive liability, as not-recommended, and all sort of fancy words that are used to disguise the fact that they were calling him an all-around asshole; And that’s a very long list of bad adjectives, for a guy Steve saw carry a nuke behind his back to save the city, gave them a place to stay, and is slowly showing himself to be one of the most curious people Steve has ever met. Maybe Tony Stark is eccentric – and maybe he is a bit of an asshole. But maybe he’s also more than that.

Six Times DUM-E Made It Worse (and One Time He Fixed It) by FestiveFerret, 4 k > words, Outsider POV.

DUM-E has a lot of Very Important jobs to do, and he does his best to do them right. Sometimes, though, things don't work out very well.

All he wants is for his humans to be happy.

Sweet Child O' Mine by starspangledsprocket, 9 k > words, Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff.

After just their second outing as the Avengers, everyone except for Steve and Tony are turned into toddlers. Madness ensues.

'Cause Everytime We Touch by Perlmutt, 5 k > words, Touch-Starved.

Steve noticed it the first time they were officially introduced at Fury’s office after the battle of New York.

He extended his hand for a handshake, a silent peace offer after their horrible first meeting at the helicarrier almost a week ago. Stark looked at it like it would bite him any second. Steve could see how his hands twitched where he’d buried them in his pockets. But instead of taking his hand, he stared into his eyes for a moment and nodded before turning back to Fury.

Only later would Steve learn that it wasn’t hatred or aversion.

how the thought of you does things to me by Finduilas, 6 k > words, Mutual Pining, Domestic Avengers.

Steve has a thing for Tony's butt. Tony has a thing for Steve's beard. They're both very obvious about it (just ask any of their friends!), but somehow they manage to also be completely oblivious.

Right here waiting by gottalovev, 19 k > words, Cat Dads.

Steve has been missing Tony like crazy since he left the compound. One day, Steve drops in unannounced at the tower, and when on a walk for coffee they rescue newborn kittens.

Or: A yearning Steve, an oblivious Tony, and co-parenting kittens. (= fuff!)

picture perfect (picture us) by starklystar, 18 k > words, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Photo Shoots.

Tony has a habit of being handsy during photoshoots.

Steve has a habit of being flustered whenever Tony touches him.

Misunderstandings happen.

Or, five times Steve and Tony went to a photoshoot

+ the one time they had better things to do.

++ the one time they take their photoshoot online.

take me out (to the ball game) by muItifandomjess, 1 k > words, Fluff.

“Take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd,” Steve sings, his shoulder bumping into Tony’s as he sways back and forth. “Come on, Tony, sing!”

“I am a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist,” Tony protests around a mouthful of hot dog. “I do not sing.”

Or, Steve and Tony go to a ball game. It all kind of snowballs from there.

Drifting Further Everyday by GotTheSilver, 8 k > words, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Steve’s quiet a lot of the time, it’s almost like living with a ghost, and Tony kind of hates it; he lives with more than enough actual ghosts every day. The longer time goes on, the more Tony recognises what’s going on, sees the jumpiness, the haunted look on his face, and he gets it. Realises they’re both trying to bury things they don’t want to talk about. More often than not, Tony turns around in the workshop to see Steve sitting there, patiently working on something in his sketchbook or reading an actual book, usually something he missed during the years he was frozen.

Somehow Steve is filling all the gaps in his life Tony didn’t realise he needed filling.

Goop, Or Five Times Steve Rogers Was Covered In... Something, And One Time Tony Was by Bill_Longbow, 7 k > words, Mutual Pining.

There were a lot of things Steve had expected about the future; sleek buildings, sleeker electronics, and all the food you can eat. Being covered in alien goop wasn't one of them.

or

How Steve being covered in... stuff, brings Tony and Steve closer.

The art of longing by itsallAvengers, 63 k > words, Oblivious Tony, Not Actually Unrequited Love.

Steve's used to missing his shot. To being too late, too scared, and losing everything. But he really did think that this time, with Tony, something could work.

Then Tony meets Mark. He's cool and charming, he's a scientist and he's perfect for a man like Tony Stark.

And suddenly Steve...

Well. Steve just doesn't have a place anymore

earth laughs in flowers by starksnack, 3 k > words, Love Confessions, Secret Admirer.

A secret admirer has been sending Tony flowers and confessions of love.

Crash Into You by FestiveFerret, 15 K > words, Post-Avengers (2012), Stranded.

Tony was pretty used to crashing.

It seemed like these days more often than not his return to earth in the Iron Man suit was at least somewhat out of control. He couldn't count the number of times he'd used a helpfully situated building, a local landmark, or, hey, even a teammate to slow a wild descent. And he'd be damned if he'd admit it to Pepper, but on more than one occasion he hadn't even been conscious when he'd hit the ground.

So crashing wasn't really a new experience. He would get banged up a bit, maybe put a scratch in the suit somewhere, but bruised ribs healed and there was no better way to work off the post-battle high than smoothing dents out of his most prized possession.

He had a feeling crashing in the Quinjet, without his armour, was going to be a bit different..

I like me better (when I'm with you) by I_write_things_sometimes, 79 k > words, Domestic Avengers, Friends to Lovers.

If you ask either of them how they got together, they'd go back to an unremarkable night filled with expensive food, rich donors, and lots of schmoozing. And, of course, the anxiety attack that started it all.

"Not recognizing someone was strange enough, but the longer the two men spoke with — or, more accurately at — Tony, the more convinced Steve was that the conversation was unwanted, at least on Tony’s part.

The first clue was that Tony was actively leaning away from the men he was talking to. Steve had learned firsthand that Tony was an incredibly tactile person. When he wanted to talk to you, Tony engaged completely; he’d sling his arm around your shoulders, squeeze your arm, or drag you around as he talked, walked and usually did at least two other things. Even when he argued, Tony was often immediate and in his opponent's space; Steve knew that from experience.

Right now? Tony was scanning the outskirts of the room rather than making eye contact with the men near him. If Steve had to guess, Tony was looking for the nearest exit."

Or, the way Steve Rogers and Tony Stark became friends and then more.

Mission SteveTony by itsallAvengers, 7 k > words, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Steve Rogers.

If the entire team of Avengers could please stop trying to get it on with Tony when Steve is right there, he would really appreciate that, thank you

you'll wait a long time by nanasekei, 16 k > words, Pining, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie).

Steve and Tony share a moment during a wedding. Things escalate from there.

-

Alternatively: Four weddings, a funeral, and one very emotionally stunted idiot.

The Game by FestiveFerret, 5 k > words, Gay Chicken.

The game starts when Tony walks into the garage to find Steve sitting astride the R1200RS, staring down at his phone, and he maybe, just a little bit, walks into a car.

Talking Bodies by itsallAvengers, 13 k > words, Misunderstandings, Insecure Steve Rogers.

Coincidentally, the physical effects of romantic and sexual desire match up very closely with the physical effects of fear. But it's not a problem-- it's not like anyone is going to be able to hear the way your heart speeds up, or see the minute dilation of your pupils, are they? They'd have to be some sort of Superhuman to do that.

And what's worse than a Superhuman hearing that quick pulse and seeing those dilated eyes and concluding that you're in love with them?

A Superhuman hearing that quick pulse and seeing those dilated eyes and thinking you're terrified of them.

more than just a dream. by frostfall, 10 k > words, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Parent Tony Stark.

Tony: Fine.

Tony: I think I might.

Tony: Just might.

Tony: Have a teensy-weensy crush.

Peter: ;)

Peter: Is it who I think it is?

Tony: Unfortunately, yes.

Tony: You happy now?

(Peter thinks he's found the perfect partner for his dad. Tony thinks his son has officially lost his mind. Steve's just oblivious to the fact that he's out of Tony's league.)

don’t want you to get it on (with nobody else but me). by frostfall, 4 k > words, Jealous Steve Rogers, The Pocky Game.

There are a lot of things that Steve doesn’t get about the future. But it’s fine. He will, eventually. He has time.

But one thing he knows is that he’ll never, ever be able to wrap his head around is the fanfare surrounding Pocky.

(Or Steve’s jealous of biscuit sticks.)

check yes (if the feeling isn't new) by cvptains, 12 k > words, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Meddling.

After the battle with Thanos, both Tony and Steve struggle with reconnecting in certain aspects of their lives. Sam Wilson and Peter Parker are totally over it.

Where both Steve and Tony's respective friends make accounts for them on the renowned dating app, FlickLove, and the results come out a bit... surprising. Cue unadvisable meddling that really — honestly — comes from good intentions.

take my heart clean apart by mistymountainking, 13 k > words, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues.

He’s tired, so tired of waiting, tired of touches with no meaning, tired of holding his breath when Steve’s in the room, tired of keeping this love to himself.

“I can’t—I can’t, if you don’t mean it.”

***

Tony comes home exhausted after an SI event. Steve acts as welcoming committee. It's an old, careworn routine they've perfected over the years, but tonight ends up going in a very different direction.

[potatosoldier]

Are you still there?

/Part 1 /

Richard Winters x reader

Okay, I know that some of the things about her enlisting are completely unrealistic, so forgive me, but in the end this is fiction so I hope you understand. 

If you want to know more, here is a link :): ANC

Four years since 1939. That’s how long I have been training to become a nurse or as the soldiers called me a Red Cross Girl. 

36 months of basic training with informal military training after. I did it to become a being who could do something in the middle of this bloody play of power. 

I had given it up, the dream of becoming a teacher, for this. For the fact that in November 1939, my father and brother got locked down into Finland, to fight. To fight for their roots. I want to do my part now, in here. To bring back peace, for it hopefully can be brought back. 

“You are on the opposing sides”, you may think. No, I am not. Both of my countries were attacked, and I don’t blame either for responding. You see, for four years, I lived in Finland, from the age three to the age of seven. My fathers side of the family is Finnish. My great grandfather came to America to look for a job, married another Finnish immigrant and started a new life. Then my father was born, later on he found a beautiful wife from Minnesota, and when I was three, we came to look for our roots. Being the first ones from our family to come back. I am fluent in Finnish, my father made sure of that. 

Now here I sit, at the age of 24, in a train, going towards Camp Mackall. My heart was racing and my palms were damp with sweat. This was truly it, here I was going to see Colonel Robert Sink, and be an unhappy surprise once again. 

“Ma’am we’re here” a young boy with a kind smile said at the door. I must have been more in my head than I thought. I give the boy a soft smile: “Thank you”

I take my suitcase and slowly step out. The more you know, there is a jeep waiting at the station. With a dark haired gentleman behind the wheel. “Sir, pardon? Are you possibly from Camp Mackall?”, I ask softly. He did not look happy and I had no intention of making his day any worse. 

“Captain Herbert Sobel. I was assigned to bring you to Colonel Sink Mrs.Winters”, how did he manage to make such an easy sentence so mean spirited I have no clue. I just continue smiling and step in. “Pleasure to meet you captain, it seems you already know my name, but still allow me to introduce myself. Sonja Winters”, I say kindly.

He just nods and starts the vehicle. The rest of the ride is very quiet. But if someones eyes could set fire to their view, boy oh boy, there would be a fire hazard in North Carolina. 

----------------------------

My breath catches as we arrive at the camp. I gulp and let Herbert help me out from the jeep. “Follow me, Mrs Winters”, he says curtly and starts leading the way. The place was huge! Completely and utterly giant!

We walk for quite a while till we come to stand in front of an office. From the door and my orders I already knew who was in. As we get a permission to enter, my heart stops at the door. There inside, I see a familiar red head. The head of the man who had the hold of my heart. I only just notice Herbert salute the colonel and then take his leave. 

When I come to stand at attention in front of the Colonel, I can feel the baby blues burrow into my brain. Sink just smiles and says “At ease, you better sit now, we have much to discuss”

“It’s lovely to meet you in person, sir” I smile and timidly sit beside my husband, who is looking more broken inside than ever. He nods and takes out some papers, some of them being letters from me and my head nurse. 

“Lt. Winters I know that this is a surprise for you, a big one at that”, he begins, “but your wife is here to work as a nurse for the Easy Company.” He can clearly see the pain in my husbands gaze even as he remains stoic. 

“With all the respect, sir, do you think it’s safe to have her in that position?”, oh how I’ve missed his voice. His soothing voice. I bite my lip and dare not look at him. 

“We have been ordered to try to raise the morale of soldiers and at the same time raise productivity and resources in the army. Having the nurses from the ANC and the red cross, would do both “ Sink sighs, “I don’t necessarily agree with the idea of women being assigned like this, no offence Mrs. WInters, but we have to try. And Easy is a remarkable company, with you there keeping her safe”

“It’ll be easier for you to know where she is, and at the same time your assert will keep the men from harassing her. She is a married nurse, a risk on itself. This is only a try and if she becomes a distraction, she will be removed”

I look at Sink in the eye at the last sentence and I see the clear weight he put on those words. “Sir, I believe both me and my husband will be able to focus on our duty at hand. I have come here to do a job the same as everybody else”, I reason. 

Sink nods. “You both have damn good marks. I trust both of you on this, and that is why I chose you”. After a long discussion and some paperwork we are done. But only with two sentences from Dick. I knew my husband, he was mad. He wouldn’t shout, but this demeanor oozed his distress. 

“Take Nurse Winters to the officers barracks, that will be the safest place for her lieutenant. Welcome to the company! Dismissed”and with that I was left alone with my dear husband. 

----------------

The first steps we take in the hall are very quiet. Then I open my mouth. “I miss you”, I whisper and keep my eyes ahead. Dick gives a long sigh while carrying my suitcase. “This is not the place for such discussions, Nurse Winters”

I keep my eyes ahead, but I can feel them watering. His voice is like a whip to my heart. “I understand, sir”, I say louder this time. I can see his expression falter. We walk quietly side by side to the barracks. I can feel the long looks and hear the questioning as we pass people.

 When we make it to a barrack, he lets me in first. I can see that there are three beds in there. Two filled, one empty. From the belongings I can see that one of the beds is definitely my husbands. I hear the door being shut behind me as Dick too steps in.

Once the door is shut I open my mouth. “Dick, please, we have gone through this once already”, I beg as I look at him. For the first time he looks me straight in the eye. “You know that I love you, you know we can’t do this like this”, I rasp. 

“Sonja, we did discuss you joining the nurses, and yes you going near the battlefield, but we never had any conversation about you joining a company full of men”, his voice was stern as ever, eyes not holding their usual warmth. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he continues: “You could be attacked by your own comrades, you could become the reason they are too distracted to do their duty” He is looking down at me. His tall stature towering my 5′5 frame. 

“I want to do my duty too, Dick. I want to help!”I shake my head as I speak “I was deemed fit for this program, I-I don’t want to be useless”,I whisper looking down at my hands. 

My heart skips as he raises his hand to take mine. “You were never useless”, he whispers back raising my chin up. We take our time just looking at each other. He breaks the silence. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? We’ve been writing, why didn’t you write to me”, he looks so confused it hurts. 

“We weren’t sure of it till couple weeks ago, I didn’t want you to... well get worried and react like this”, I say tenderly cupping the side of his face. There are no words to describe how good it feels to be near him. Smell him, hear him, feel him. “I miss you so”, I sob. My sob does it for him, and he pulls me against him. My arms around his waist and his cheek on top of my head. My sobs turn into a small giggle. “I love you, god I love you”I whisper. I feel his hold getting tighter at my words. 

“I love you too”he whispers and kisses my hair. All I can think is the fact that he is holding me again, my Richard is holding me, telling me he loves me. Until the door opens with a bang and we jump apart. 

We are met with a chuckle and a man with a smirk and bushy eyebrows. 

--- This will probably be rewritten, but for now I want to see how people react to this idea---

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Different Worlds (5)

Summary: You’re the youngest Winchester, a girl who needs to show her big brothers that she doesn’t need help. Then one day, on a totally normal vampire hunt that you had all under control, three meddling Avengers come barging in.

Warnings: language, violence, canon divergence, slow burn, me making stuff up

Word Count: 2001

~*~

Chapter 5: Answers and Headaches

The Winchesters led the Avengers to a large, run-down building that was secluded in the woods. Bucky looked at Steve, then back at the building. If this was a trap, they could take them. The two Winchesters didn’t have any magic… that he knew of. 

“We’re home!” (Y/N) shouted as she opened a door to reveal a large, open room. The inside was much nicer than the outside.

She went down the metal staircase first, followed by her brother and the strange man in the trench coat. The Avengers went down after them, one by one. Tony had collapsed his nanotech suit, but Bucky saw that he kept one of his repulsors on his hand. 

A tall man with shaggy brown hair walked out of the next room. His already annoyed expression became darker when he noticed Bucky and the rest of the Avengers. The next person to greet them was a young man with dark brown hair. His expression was similar to the first man’s, but when he saw the superheroes, his expression brightened. Then the red-haired book thief walked in next. Her large smile grew larger when she saw the large group of people. 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked when he noticed their expressions. 

“We,” the tall man forced a smile, “have a guest.”

“A guest that isn’t the superhero group behind us?” (Y/N) clarified. 

Then a dark-haired man in a black suit swaggered in to join everyone. The redhead, Bucky thought he heard (Y/N) call her Rowena, smiled even wider. 

“Hello, Squirrel,” the man said to Dean in a British accent. Then he turned to (Y/N). “Do I have a nickname for you, dear? Rabbit? Do you like carrots?”

“Crowley,” Dean growled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Came to visit my mummy.” Crowley gestured to Rowena. Bucky’s mind really couldn’t keep up with all this. “I caught wind that she had a very special book.”

“Can we just put everything on pause,” Steve interrupted, “and catch us up to speed?”

The rest of the Avengers mumbled their agreement. 

“Everyone into the library,” (Y/N) ordered.

Everyone walked into the next room and found a seat at one of the tables. The Avengers on one side, (Y/N) and her gang on the other. 

“First, introductions,” Tony spoke up. “You know who we are.”

“Meh,” (Y/N) shrugged. “I don’t follow your shitty reality TV show lives.”

The billionaire opened his mouth in offense but Bucky smiled at her. She smiled back and then quickly looked away. Was she blushing?

“I’m Captain America but you can call me Steve Rogers,” Steve began. “This is my friend Bucky Barnes, he was the Winter Soldier, and my other friend Sam Wilson. He’s the Falcon.” He introduced the rest of the present Avengers, pointing at them when he said their name and superhero alias. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Uh, I’m (Y/N) Winchester.” She gave a small wave. “My brothers: Sam and Dean. That’s Castiel, we call him Cas, Jack, and Rowena. Then there’s Crowley.”

“And that was actually Lucifer back there? The Devil? Satan?” the Avengers’ Sam asked. The Winchesters, Cas, and Jack nodded in confirmation. 

“So what the fuck even happened at the cafe?” Clint raised his hand like he was in school. 

“Lucifer escaped,” Cas explained in a low voice. “We used the Magicae Libro and Rowena as bait to trap him again.”

“The ‘Magicae Libro?’” Nat asked. “The Magic Book? Very creative.”

“They didn’t need to be creative when it was the only one,” (Y/N) pointed out. Bucky saw Cas narrow his eyes at her.

“The Magicae Libro is the world’s first spellbook,” said Cas. “Written by witches who were guided by Lucifer.”

“Goddamned witches are a thing too?” Bucky thought about all the supernatural entities he had learned about in the past month: vampires, ghosts, Satan, and now witches? What else was there?

“Yes, ‘goddamned witches’ are a thing,” the Scottish woman said in a slightly harsh tone. “I’m a witch. One of the most powerful, I would say.”

“So who took the Devil?” Tony put everyone back on track. 

“Some angels.” (Y/N) shrugged like it was no big deal. 

“Angels?” multiple Avengers exclaimed.

“Yes, we exist,” Cas answered in prediction to the questions heading his way. 

“You’re an angel?” Steve’s eyes were wide with awe. 

“So Lucifer and angels exist,” Wanda began, “does that mean God and demons exist too?”

“Yes.” (Y/N)’s side of the table answered simultaneously. 

“Are you sure?”

“Considering I am literally the King of Hell,” Crowley said proudly as his eyes turned blood-red, “I am very sure.”

“And God?” 

“Chuck can go suck a dick, honestly,” (Y/N) blurted out. 

“Chuck?”

“My grandfather went by the pen name ‘Chuck Shurley’ for a while,” Jack explained. “He still insists to be called ‘Chuck.’”

“Grandfather?” Clint raises his eyebrows. 

“God has a fucking pen name?”

“Grandfather!?”

“Why does ‘Chuck Shurley’ sound familiar?” Nat tapped her finger on the table as she tried to remember. 

“Grandfather!?”

“He wrote a shit ton of books based on our lives,” Dean shook his head. “He called it ‘Supernatural.’”

“Grandfather!?”

Wanda sucked in a breath and looked at Nat. “I think we read one of the books during a girl’s night.”

“GRANDFATHER!?” Clint was shouting now. 

“My father is Lucifer. I’m a Nephilim,” Jack unhelpfully explained. Bucky swore that every time they tried to explain something, more questions would arise. 

“Please explain,” Tony groaned and rubbed his head.

“A Nephilim is—”

“I know what a Nephilim is. How is your father the fucking Devil?”

“My mother was Kelly Kline,” the young man said before he was interrupted again.

“Wasn’t she President Rooney’s aide?” Steve asked.

“Yes. My father briefly possessed the President of the United States.” Jack was only met with silence as the Avengers tried to wrap their head around the very large info dump. Bucky could see (Y/N) trying to hide a smirk. “He got my mother pregnant. She died giving birth to me.”

“I thought she only died in 2017?”

“This kiddo is only seven years old.” (Y/N) placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. 

“I need a break.” Tony placed his head on the table. 

“I’ll get some beers,” Dean offered and left the room. 

~*~

You walked over to Bucky with your beer in hand. He gave you a charming smile as you sat down in the chair that was just recently vacated by Steve.

“How are you doing?” you asked.

“Fine, I guess.” Bucky studied your face and you could feel your face warm up. “Are you some supernatural being too?”

“Nope. I’m nothing special.”

“I think you’re very special.”

“Even my brothers are more special than me,” you sighed.

“I think you’re greatly underestimating your value, doll.”

Your heart fluttered at the nickname. You usually hated talking about yourself but Bucky’s compliments were nice. Very nice.

“S-so do you think this is below your paygrade?”

“Sweetheart,” you blushed at the second nickname, “I think this is above my paygrade. It’s above all of our paygrades.”

“You guys deal with this stuff a lot?” Steve joined the conversation.

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrugged. “Sometimes we just go on small hunts. Some monsters would be killing people and hunters go get rid of them. For some reason, it’s always me and my brothers who have to deal with the Apocalypse or the random angel who wants to be God.”

“The Apocalypse happened?”

“We stopped the Apocalypse from happening.”

“When?”

“Way before you guys formed,” your Sam said. “Like in 2009.”

“I had just become Iron Man,” Tony shook his head, “and you guys stopped the Apocalypse?”

“Sometimes I miss the Apocalypse,” you confess. “Simpler times.”

“Definitely simpler than the fucking leviathans,” Dean agreed.

“Oh, Chuck. I hated the leviathans.”

“Let’s skip over the fact that you miss the fucking Apocalypse and move on to ‘What is a leviathan?’” Avenger Sam asked.

“We accidentally opened a portal to Purgatory in 2012 and a bunch of shapeshifting leviathans escaped.”

“Have you heard of Dick Roman?” You looked around the room at each member of the Avengers. Tony, Natasha, and Clint nodded. “He was the leviathan leader.”

“You said they were shapeshifters,” Bucky said slowly. “Did they impersonate you three and go on a killing spree?”

“Yep!” You beamed at him. You don’t know why, but it felt like a weight lifted off your chest when Bucky knew you weren’t actually a serial killer.

“You face monsters and it seems that all odds are against you,” Natasha pointed out. “You guys must be good at your jobs if you’re still alive.”

“Oh, no,” Dean corrected. You smiled. Their reaction was going to be hilarious. “All of us here have died before. Multiple times.”

The Avengers looked like fish, opening and closing their mouths as they processed the information.

“How?” Bucky looked at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“Sammy was stabbed and I made a deal with a demon to bring him back,” Dean started. “Because of the deal, I was dragged to hell until Cas dragged my ass back out. Then there was the whole Mark of Cain thing when I became a demon.”

“The good times,” Crowley sighed as he reminisced.

“I was stuck in a time loop once where Dean died every day.” Your Sam shuddered at the memory.

“Remember when those two hunters killed you ‘cause you started the Apocalypse?” You smirk. You had missed that fateful night as you were off hunting somewhere else.

“Raphael made me explode. Then Lucifer exploded me. Then I imploded because of the leviathans. Then I was stabbed by some lady. Then Lucifer killed me again.”

“God smote me.” Jack frowned.

“Lucifer killed me twice,” Rowena said simply as she looked at her nails.

“I had to die to become a demon.”

“I was smote… smited… smoted,” you gave up and continued, “by Gadreel, an angel, when he possessed Sammy. Then I was mauled by a werewolf.” You wrinkled your nose at the memory. Honestly, you didn’t know which one was worse but you ended up in Hell both times. That was literally a pain in the ass.

“You guys really know how to throw a party,” Tony snarked.

“I don’t see how that’s a party,” Natasha responded.

“I understood that reference!” Steve said with a smile on his face.

“I don’t understand that reference.” Cas looked around, confused.

You sighed and changed the topic, “Do you have any more questions?”

“Well, yes,” Avenger Sam said. “But I don’t think I have the mental capacity for any of the answers.

“That’s for sure,” you heard Bucky say. You let out a snort and Avenger Sam glared at both of you.

“Then it’s time for you all to leave,” Dean announced. “Thanks for stopping by and drinking our beer, but now we have to get back to work.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed and stood up. “We have some work to do as well.”

The Avengers made their way back into the map room and up the metal staircase. They said goodbye one by one and left the bunker until only Bucky was left.

“I hope I’ll see you again,” you said and held out your hand.

“I hope so too.” He took your hand with both of his. How did you not notice his left hand, and possibly arm, was metal? “I want to learn more about you and your work.”

“You know where I live now. See you ‘round, Bucky.”

He smiled, dropped your hand, and gave you one last wave before he left. You knew you had a stupid smile on your face, but for once you let yourself be happy. You stood there for a minute before Rowena broke the silence.

“I thought they’d never leave!” she exclaimed. “I just wanted to play with the Magicae Libro.” A moment of silence. “Where is the Magicae Libro?”

“Where’s Crowley?” Jack asked and you all looked around the library.

“Aw, fuck!”

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

Tag List (strike though means tag didn’t work):

@grav3dollie-666 @broco8​ 

[epicstuckyficrecs]

Weekly Recap | March 30-April 5

Out of self-isolation, woop woop! Also a first for me, there’s a podifc on the recap for the first time!

Complete

�� [Podfic] If They Haven't Learned Your Name by quietnight/ @quietnighty​ (Post-WS | Podfic lenght: >10h | Not Rated): aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

in the heat of the moment by Deisderium/ @deisderium​ (ABO, Pre-TFA | 9K | Explicit): In which Steve presents very late as an omega. Bucky isn't supposed to go see him, but when has he ever done what he was supposed to do where Steve is concerned? (Part 1 of would smell as sweet)

💙 good on my own (needed me) by mcwho (Modern AU | 12K | Explicit): There are some mistakes that could be made by anybody. Anybody. Bucky taught high school pretty much his whole life, and that was fine, those were kids, and he knew all of them anyway, which meant there was very little chance of him accidentally fucking any of his students during an impulsive post-marital-breakdown Grindr hook-up. Which is exactly what he had done with Steve.or: bucky has not let steve rogers fuck him since his sophomore year (Part 1 of himbo-verse)

cheffing and sabotage by mcwho (Modern AU | 3K | Explicit): "So,” Steve says conversationally. “That’s a yes on the olive oil. For lube purposes.” Part 2 of himbo-verse

Brooklyn by togina/ @toli-a​ (Post-WS | 8,7K | Teen): "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?" Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

Poise and Rationality (Have Nothing to Do with Steve Rogers) by romanticalgirl (Canon-verse | 1K | Teen): Steve does something stupid.

💙 bullet in a gun (but in the end, my time will come) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (Post-Endgame, Canon-divergent | 25K | Explicit): Post-Thanos, Bucky Barnes has happily settled into a life of peace and pining. That’s when alternate versions of the best friend he’s secretly in love with start showing up.

💙 Two Colors, White and Gold by Carelica (Canon-Divergent | 36K | Explicit): He’s here, he’s alive. His hand is on a tree.

Never go to bed alone when you have a library card by relenafanel/ @relenafanel​ (Library AU | 5K | Teen): Tall, blond hottie (in a sweater) was back, staring at the wall of new and popular titles with a thoughtful expression on his face. He came in every Tuesday night like clockwork, read through the summaries on the back of a handful of books with his profile turned just enough towards the front entrance that Bucky could see the slope of his nose and take joy in watching those arm muscles minutely flex as he shifted the book in his grasp.

💙 Like it’s the Only Thing I’ll Ever Do by howdoyousleep/ @howdoyousleep3​ (ABO AU | 39K | Explicit): When Steve opens the door, Bucky feels like he’s been living in clouds for the past few days, maybe even his entire life. Steve is life, Steve is happiness, Steve is the sun. He has such a visceral reaction to seeing the Alpha that he feels his knees go weak, feels his body draw tight towards the other man, pulled in. Or big Alpha Steve moves into sweet little Omega Bucky’s apartment building and a roller-coaster build of a romance ensues.

lay all your love on me by chilibabie07 (Canon | 1,4K | Mature): Bucky wakes up to an empty bed and goes to look for Steve so he can be cuddled.

WIP

Baby, you could be the death of me by SinpaiCasanova (Werewolf Steve, ABO AU | 1/2 | 3K | Explicit): It’s strange for him to consider that fate or the universe–whatever is driving this compulsion, really–needs Bucky here for some reason or another, but he’s passed by these woods at least a thousand times before on his way into town, and each time his eyes drifted toward the trees, his heart would give a restless tug against his ribs like an excited dog on a leash. Eventually, the call became too much for him to ignore, and so here he is, surrendering himself to the woods and praying like hell that he doesn’t end up in the belly of a beast by daylight.

The Mnemosyne Project by onymousann (Post-WS | 11K | 4/? | Explicit): Someone’s trying to talk to the Winter Soldier. Steve intends to find out who. (Part 2 of ocean eyes)

💙 How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate by BlueSimplicity/ @bluesimplicity73​ (Soulmate AU, Shrunkyclunks | 11/? | 65K | Explicit): It’s called the Grey Space; a patch of skin marking you as blessed and the first sign you have a soulmate. Steve Rogers didn’t have one when he crashed into the ice. But he did when he woke up in the future. The second sign is the Sense, a sharing of one the senses to help soulmates find each other. Steve’s Sense, taste, is rare, but he loves a challenge and a soulmate is a gift from the Fates. Except instead of a blessing, it’s a curse, since his soulmate is a dick. Bucky Barnes loves food and a homecooked meal is something he cherishes. When his Grey Space starts to itch, Bucky can’t help his excitement, since the Sense he and his soulmate share is taste. But not for long. Whoever he’s bound to has the blandest diet in the world, ignoring all Bucky’s messages. After weeks of putting up with tasteless food, Bucky decides to strike back.

Re-Read

We're All Stupid When We're Hurting by Taste_is_Sweet/ @taste-is-sweet​ (Post-WS | 8K | Teen): Bucky had completed missions while in more terrible pain. It was amazing what you could push through when the punishment for failure was so much worse. But he hadn't needed to do that for over a year now. He'd gotten used to not being in pain, remembered what it was like to be human. He knew no one would ever put him in the chair again. He knew he was safe here. He knew Tony could fix his arm without hurting him. Of course he did. But it didn't make a damn bit of difference to the terror that shook him like a dog at just the thought of sitting down and stretching his arm out for Tony to fuck with. Might as well stretch out his neck to have his throat slit. Hell, that'd be easier.

💙 we gotta let go of all of our ghosts by hitlikehammers (Post-WS | 8K | Mature): It’s just hard, really, if he’s honest: this time, more than the first, here in a new millennium, having found Bucky again against all odds, in a time where there was hope, where they could have been… Well. It’s just that it’s bad enough to come in second place to a Stark once in his lifetime. But twice might just be more than Steve can bear.

The thing that drives the wolves away by caughtinanocean/ @wintergaydar​ (Post-WS | 7,8K | Teen): The thing about Bucky these days is that, while he might be a semi-mythical assassin, he's also vulnerable—the kind of vulnerable that makes total strangers want to drape a blanket over his shoulders and take him to safety. The problem is, of course, that Bucky is already safe.

[tonystarkbingo]

3 Prompt Summaries

computer, friends to lovers, animal - prompts by @rebelmeg

@somesortofitalianroast -  Tony wasn’t sure why he agreed to let Bucky live in the Tower. He hated the man. He really did. But he owed Steve a favor and he wasn’t one to let his friends down. So he let Bucky and his cat move into the Tower. He let Bucky and his cat roam freely around the Tower. It didn’t take long before he was seeking out opportunities to talk to Bucky, or spend time with Bucky. Maybe he didn’t hate Bucky as much as he thought he did?

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - It started with silly cat videos shared here and there. Which, somehow, turned into marathons that left everyone--yes, Natasha, even you--in tears with laughter.  Not so much because of the videos but one would end up laughing--usually Thor, sometimes Clint--which inevitably set someone else off and so on. Tony had to admit, he might not care too much about felines in general, but the cat-video marathons might even outrank movie nights for that alone.

@lbibliophile-mcu - People always laugh when they say that their relationship was built on sharing increasingly sappy cat pictures. But when one of you is a superhero archer, and the other is an AI, that's maybe the most normal thing about them

@rebelmeg - pick your pairing.... tony stark was unfairly, stupidly, ridiculously hot.  and not just that, but he was adorable, with his messy, fluffy hair and his big bambi eyes and the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed.  and to top it all off, this hot, adorable, shamelessly attractive man also happened to have animal guests with him on his thursday youtube videos.  which made it all so much worse.  tony stark doing nose boops with a tiny, squeaky kitten was just too much.  no human could stand up to that and live.

@jamesbuckystark - Tony and Jan were best friends as children,  but when they were in high school, Jan's parents moved to LA. They would chat via Skype and email. Who knew the next time they would see each other was at a national pet show ten years later? Sparks fly

@darthbloodorange - It was hard and incredibly lonely to be a AI. Everyone assumed just because he was a computer, an mathematical logic based algorithm that he didn't think or feel. He'd experienced men of science try and argue that he could think or feel, that he had no humanity. That someone had to have programed these things into him in his creation and therefore it wasn't really him, it wasn't his thoughts and feelings but his creators. Tony knew he could think and feel. Knew that these feelings where his own. He was nothing like his creator, Howard. As the years past, as civilisations rose and fell, he kept to himself. Answering the questions men came to him with. He kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. That was until a strange creature walked into his lab. A large wolf with DNA of a Man [Capwolf]. This being didn't care if he was a computer, it responded to him as if he were alive. As if the ticking clock within his reactor was a heart and not just a interval system he set his data processing to. But could their ever be chance for them? For love between a robot and a wolf.

Keep reading to see the rest!

Coffee, Snow, Road Trip - suggested by @alwaysabrighterdarkness

@rebelmeg - tony wasn't gonna say it.  he wasn't.  no matter how much he wanted to say (or shout) "I TOLD YOU SO," he wasn't gonna do it.  he was going to sit, quietly, in this stupid broken down car, sip his cold coffee, and watch rhodey pace a hard icy track in the snow until he finally caved and let tony throw money at the problem until someone agreed to come tow them out of this snowbank.  next time, he was going to talk rhodey into at least renting a better car next time they went on a road trip....

@somesortofitalianroast - It wasn’t Steve’s idea to drive across the United States in winter. He’d had enough of the cold and ice to last him for the rest of his life. It wasn’t Tony’s idea to drive across the United States in winter, either, but somehow they found themselves in the front seat of one of Tony’s many roadsters, Pepper somehow squeezed in between them, on the way from LA to New York. Luckily it was a bench seat, not bucket seats. It wasn’t snowing, though there was snow on the side of the road, and the forecast called for more snow - up to two inches. Luckily, they were almost at the ski chalet they were staying at, near Vail. They were going to spend the week there, and Steve planned to spend the entire week next to the fire, drinking coffee and ignoring the snow.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Road tripping with Tony, their route can be tracked not by attractions visited or efficient navigation, but by the trail of coffee shops spaced at careful two hour intervals. It makes getting anywhere take twice as long, but sipping hot chocolate in a cozy cafe, looking between the sheeting snow through the window and Tony's warm smile across from him, he really can't bring himself to care.

@rebelmeg - i have a mental image of someone spilling coffee in their lap and being grumpy about it and the other one singing obnoxiously loud to cheer them up, but that’s it.  no coherent summary

@jamesbuckystark - "Why wouldn't you think there would be snow in the Rocky Mountains?" Tony grumbles as he rubs his forehead. He and Rhodey are driving cross country in an RV with Peter and Harley. "I do not have enough coffee for this."

@lbibliophile-mcu - Natasha doesn't know why she is friends with Clint. Case in point: Clint wants an iced coffee. Problem 1: it's currently the middle of winter, and something like 20 degrees outside. Problem 2: they're in the middle of nowhere, and lucky that the shitty little service station does anything resembling coffee at all. Clint's solution: Buy a dubiously-coffee, go outside, shove handfuls of snow into the cup and shake, pour the resulting brownish slush down his throat. ...how angry would Coulson be if she just drove off and abandoned him here?

@darthbloodorange - Steve Rogers is an idiot with no self-preservations skill to speak of. Who the hell thinks its a good idea to go on a road trip through the coldest parts of America in the middle of winter on a motorcycle? Someone who spent 70 years in ice, that's who. Not wanting the world to lose Captain America a second time, Tony decides to join Steve on his road trip, just to be safe. He was going to need a lot of coffee. 

give, stone, without - suggested by @somesortofitalianroast

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - Tony had never expected to get this.  Get to this point. Sure, he'd thought about it, imagined what it might be like. But he always just figured it was something not meant for him.  And yet, there he was.  Staring wide-eyed at a gleaming metal band inlaid with small stones circling circumference on his left hand.  And he had it, got it even without having to change everything about himself.

@jamesbuckystark - "If you can remove the sword without breaking the stone, you will be given the power of ruler" is the legend. The strong,  the brave, the wise,  the cunning have all tried and failed. Why should Tony even try? He's been told by everyone he knows that he's not enough.

@rebelmeg - the stones were each powerful on their own.  they could change galaxies, level worlds, alter destinies.  but together, they were unlimited potential with the right person to wield them.  without that person to give them purpose, powerful was all they would be.  with the heart of tony stark, backed by his generous soul and his unending strength... the stones could be more.  and they could give more, too.  give back the life they had needed.

@somesortofitalianroast - Steve never knew how much he loved Tony, until it was too late. Tony had done what Steve had once said he would never be able to do, to make the sacrifice play, using the Infinity Stones without thought of what the result would be. At least, that was what they’d all thought, until Steve had gone to give Tony a kiss on the forehead in benediction, and realized that wouldn’t have to live in a world without Tony - he was alive!

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony never travels without his lucky pebble. It started the first time his family had to travel by plane. He was nervous, but he knew he couldn't show it; so Jarvis had given him the smooth round stone to cling on to. He had been fine as soon as they were in the air, but for some reason he kept the stone, and continued to carry it with him. Tony not superstitious, not really, but it still became some sort of good luck talisman. Tony never travels without his lucky pebble...except once. It was almost a whim really. Joking with Rhodey to distract him while he slipped the pebble into a pocket, before banishing his friend to the 'humdrumvee'. Tony is not superstitious, not really, but maybe he should be. Because when the helicopter finds him in the desert, it is Rhodey who comes running out to catch him.

@darthbloodorange - Many people would think Tony's most prized and valuable possession would be something rare, expensive, something exclusive. They were wrong. His most valued possession was a rock. Yes, a rock. He never goes anywhere without it. He wonders sometimes if it was bad that he had it, if it would mess up time and space. But it was the only meaningful thing he had left of Steve. (Cue fic full of time heist shenanigans to return the Infinity Stones, and meeting a young Steve Rogers, pining and regret.)

ankle, lazy, only one bed - suggested by @jamesbuckystark

@jamesbuckystark​ - Steve and Nat thought they were clever, booking a room for Tony and Bucky with only one bed. Little do they know that Tony and Bucky are already dating and now spending a lazy day in bed, ankles twined as they stakeout their mark

@rebelmeg - "your foot is on my head."  "is not." "is too." "is not.  my ankle is on your head." "you don't get it off, and you're not gonna have that ankle anymore." tony only hoped that clint wasn't gonna call his bluff (he was too sleepy and lazy to commit bodily harm right now), and that he would never have to share a bed with the guy ever again.

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - Okay, sure, it had been a slightly steep fall and, yes Tony's ankle was just slightly bruised and a tad swollen.  But, c'mon, that was no excuse to enable laziness.  That was absolutely no reason to put him on lock down and utterly trapped in his own bed, just that one spot, for days at a time. Even JARVIS was against him!  He had been dually informed that he was locked out of the workshop until that minor injury was fully healed.  And for company? Motherhenning Steve Rogers and Paperwork.  Yeah, thanks bunch Pep.

@somesortofitalianroast - Steve was lazing in front of the fire, a book in his hand and a cup of hot chocolate just in reach. There was a muffled thump, and Pepper was calling for him. He shot to his feet and up the stairs. Tony had stumbled, and they needed to get to the medical office at the chalet to see if it was just sprained or if he’d broken it. Steve helped Tony down the stairs and into the car, Pepper following behind. It turned out the ankle was broken, and they wanted to keep Tony under observation after they’d cast it. Steve offered to keep watch. It was only when they got back to their cabin that Steve remembered that they only had one bed. It would be quite a tight fit...

@darthbloodorange - When Tony had said he wanted a nice relaxing holiday where he could be lazy for once... this is not what he meant. He never thought he would be regretting this trip. But being stuck in a cabin with a single bed to share amongst all of the Avengers? With a broken ankle? He definitely regrets the trip. Why was Pepper always right.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony is on mandatory bedrest. C'mon, it's just a sprained ankle! They won't even let him use crutches or anything! Ok, so maybe the cracked-don't-turn-them-into-broken ribs have something to do with that. But this is not the first time this has happened -- or the second, but not yet the tenth... he thinks, oops -- so he hasn't spent the intervening period lazing around. Who needs a a wheelchair when you've created a remote-controlled wheel bed?

fealty, darkness, couch - suggested by @alwaysabrighterdarkness​

@alwaysabrighterdarkness​  - The lights had been dimmed as soon as the movie started.  It was dark enough in the lounge that Tony had to squint to see the rest of the team--it was the darkness not age or anything else--sprawled comfortably across the couches and chairs.  But he caught the smirks and eye rolls at the cheesy oaths of fealty showing on the screen.  It was a little overboard. But it was amusing and enjoyable at least. Tony was sure it would be discussed and joked about right up until the next movie showed in a few days.

@darthbloodorange​ - Long into the dark of the night, Sir Rogers would sneak into to the King's chambers. He would pledge his loyalty and devotion to his king as the man lounged on his couch, doing his best to bring Tony as much pleasure as he could humanly manage.

@rebelmeg​ - tony stark was as infamous a mob boss as had ever existed.  infamous for his wealth, his genius, his cruelty to his enemies and his protectiveness toward his family.  more than one person had stood before him on trembling knees, looking in awe and fear at the man sprawled across the throne-like couch across from them, sharp goatee and sharper eyes cataloging every weak point. only one person ever got to see the mob boss on his knees, the darkness in the bedroom surrounding him like a second skin, as he swore eternal love and fealty to the one that owned his heart.

Competition, Falling in Love, Gardening - @darthbloodorange​

@tehroserose - It was time for the annual gardening competition. In prior years, Tony had helped Jarvis and Anna with their garden. This year was his first year doing it on his own, and he was going to win with the flowers they had worked hard to develop together. But then there were the new competitors, Steve and Bucky, who apparently had just moved to town and specialized in revitalizing old, extinct, or otherwise forgotten varietals. Tony can't let them win.[11:57 PM]He has to win- for Jarvis and Anna

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - Tony'd been issued a challenge. There was no way that he was going to let this one go. How hard could it be? Granted, it had to do with living things rather than robotics, but he had this. He had it. There was no way he was going to let the Late Bloomer, Agent Super Spy, The Guy that Tripped over the Flat Floor, an Alien god that wore a cape or anyone else beat him out on this one. Except Bruce. Bruce could win. Maybe. Possibly...No way.  Tony would win this one.  He just had to ask the Late Bloomer really, really nicely for a tiny bit of help and he'd win this.

@rebelmeg - "my sunflowers are bigger than yoooours, ha ha ha ha ha haaaa," tony sing-songed as he added fertilizer to the watering can, grinning as he caught the roll of pepper's eyes as she dragged the hose over. 

"i could deliver a crushing retort about size not mattering, but i worry that would kick you between the legs a little too hard." pepper flicked a few droplets of water his way. 

 sniggering like a child that just heard a naughty word, tony got morgan out of her bouncy seat and twirled them both around. "don't listen to your mama, honey bunny, she doesn't know what she's saying." 

 pepper tugged him over for a kiss, not quite able to get the smile off her face.  "you're ridiculous and i fall in love with you a little more every day." tony had a wonderful response to go with his sudden blush, but then pepper smashed a handful of soil into his hair and he was too busy chasing her around the yard to say it.

@darthbloodorange - Steve and Tony's rivalry is legendary amongst the community, maybe even wider. Ever since the billionaire joined the Manhattan District Community Garden the men had been at odds with one another. Always trying to one up each other in variety and technique, in finding the Heirlooms plants with the most ridicules names. There was no end in sight for the feud and it had grown old fast amongst their shared circle of friends. 

One day a man who called himself 'Ebony Maw' joined the Garden with his friend 'Proxima Midnight'. They called themselves the "children of Thanos". The newcomers started disturbing the peace, spouting weird cultish sayings about balance and order. Steve and Tony found themselves joining forces against the newcomers, putting their differences aside to defend the community. But things are more dangerous than they seem, and Steve and Tony find themselves fighting something bigger than the imagined... and maybe fall in love in the process.

[hackedmotionsensors]

Hey I feel like you’ve already answered this but what are some of your favorite iron man or Captain America comics and why? What story lines would you recommend? I’m curious about the more modern stuff. What’s some of your fav comic artists when it comes to marvel?

OKAY SO. 

holy shit this got long so UNDER THE READ MORE WE GO

This is always kind of a hard question to answer because I personally have not read everything in regards to either Iron man or Captain America. I’ve read the Tales of Suspense stories a lot because I keep trying to start over from the very beginning. And that’s not always helpful if you just wanna dip your toes or give Iron Man/Cap a go.

So what I CAN tell you is here’s what I did when I was first getting into comics around 2012.

I went to Borders/Barnes and Noble and a I read a bunch of the compilations they had in the store. Someone has already done the work FOR you so its really easy to just pick up a book and read from there. 

I started out with Invincible Iron Man  (I’m gonna link to Amazon but I suggest not buying from them because Bezos is a demon [comixology is owned by amazon as well but it is a convenient app]) 

Marvel has its own comics app but if you also read and pay for other comics its not ideal. There are places to “read comic books online” and for older stuff I definitely do this now but for newer comics I’ll try to pay for them especially if its indie. Support indie comics!!! 

Anyway. Invincible Iron Man. A polarizing story in terms of Iron Man lore. But its definitely an easy one to get into and read especially if you’re coming in from MCU and are just testing things. You don’t necessarily need to know all of his history but it covers the basics. 

Next I’d try Demon in a Bottle It’s the original alcoholism arc. A must read for general Tony’s lore. This isn’t the one where he ends up a hobo on the street where Cap helps him escape from a burning building. But this is where he goes off the rails the first time. Bethany Cabe is his current girlfriend and tries to help him. And he kind of recovers. I’m not sure this is exactly a FAVORITE but it has a lot of the important shit for Tony. His temper is something that doesn’t get talked a lot about I think but he DEFINITELY has one. The art is very..........lol its not BAD per say but its also not like wow what gorgeous art. 

Another important Tony lore is Armor Wars So you wanna read the first few times Tony and Steve fight about REAL SHIT. This is it. This is the classic story where he realizes his tech is being used by bad guys and HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THEM NO CAP NOT EVEN YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD GUY AND I MIGHT HAVE TO GET DIRTY. It has the classic Steve sitting in a dark room waiting for Tony to come back with his date and then throwing his shield at Tony going “I don’t want your trash”

It also has a lot of good Tony being in a morally grey area. *chef’s kiss* 

And then basically read all the fun stuff with Kurt Busiek in Vol 3 (This isn’t an amazon link but the marvel database so you know roughly where to start) 

VOLUME THREE HAS SUCH HITS LIKE

The Sentient Armor: Tony accidentally kills Whiplash in a lightning storm. The Armor comes to life. The armor falls in love with Tony and WANTS TO BECOME ONE WITH TONY. Tony does not want this. Tony is beat up and kidnapped and taken by the armor to a deserted island. The Armor is like Tony I love you so much GET IN ME NOW. Tony is about to die from a heart attack. The armor RIPS ITS HEART OUT AND SHOVES IT INTO TONY. Bye Tony I love you now we’re one forever. RIP

Tiberius Stone’s 2 arcs (they’re not in consecutive order but they’re both hella gay): Tony’s old boarding school friend shows up again and is a TV mogul and is DEFINITELY NOT Slandering Tony in the press or blowing up his buildings or framing him for MURDER oh my god Tiberius is a pain in the ass and we definitely boned down as teenagers but he would never frame me for MURDER but his TV devices that seep into your brain like the boob tube thing from Batman Forever are pretty suspicious. Oh no Tiberius IS a bad guy and he got me naked (why?) and hooked the both of us up to the TV machine and now we’re trapped in his horny tv dream why am I dressed like Alice in Wonderland???  ALSO HE SLEPT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!??

(This is why I will FOREVER get upset that Killian in Iron Man 3 isn’t Tiberius Stone. He IS LITERALLY FOLLOWING THE TIBERIUS STONE PLAYBOOK INCLUDING THE PHYSICAL LOOK WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE FEIGE YOU OWE ME MONEY!!!!)

Also at the beginning of Vol 3. Tony gets the absolute holy hell bejesus shit beat out of him. And that lasts for a WHILE and seeps into the Avengers Vol 3 (which you should also read its fun and I like that George Perez actually tries to make people look ethnically diverse but also you can tell Clint from Cap)

There’s also a part in vol 3 where Monica from FRIENDS shows up at a party and that’s a wild thing that happened.

But basically I think you can start just about anywhere with Iron Man and have a good time if you’re a deep Tony fan. He has a lot of great stories and its why he’s my favorite. Even this last run with Slott I still KIND OF LIKE ANYWAY??? bc its Tony. Its not always written to what a lot of long standing Iron Man fans would say is canon but I mean.....he’s got 57 years worth of comics behind him so he’s bound to change here and there. He was once a super villain, died, brought over as a teenager from an alternate timeline, and then merged with another Tony I forget the details but its silly lol

Side universe reading Iron Man Noir, Ultimates (Hickman’s run is very fun but also Ultimates 1 and 2. DO NOT READ ULTIMATUM IT IS GROSS, I HAVE READ IT FOR YOU ALMOST EVERYONE DIES ITS GROSS.

Ultimates is literally half of the basis for the MCU. Don’t read Ultimates Iron Man tho. Not only is it written by a creep its also extremely stupid and doesn’t even really make sense in terms of what happens later in Ultimates. It basically gets RetConned immediately.

Also Ultimates universe has Gregory Stark. Tony’s fun evil twin brother who for some reason is blonde. I can’t really give you a specific story to read with Ultimates because its the most god awful confusing universe to try and find stories from so I literally don’t even remember. I’d check an Ultimates fan blog for that.

AS FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA.

I love Steve Rogers. I really do. I think he’s a fun character. B U T. His comics for me can be very boring. He has some great arcs as someone who is supposed to be a representation of what a GOOD AMERICA can aspire to or whatever. But America often times SUCKS A LOT (our current times being very obvious). Cap definitely fights for what he believes and so that’s why he often takes off the garb of Captain America and runs around in a slutty v neck and a cape as Nomad. Or when he comes back from the dead and his BFF is the new Cap (WITHA  KNIFE) and wears the sexy Secret Avengers uniform. Very sexy. We stan the Colonel Rogers uniform very much. But his early comics are a lot of “OH MY GOD I KILLED BUCKY ITS ALL MY FAULT BUCKY!!!!! RICK JONES PUT ON BUCKYS CLOTHES THIS ISNT CREEPY I PROMISE”

A GREAT run in Avengers is the Cap’s Kooky Quartet or as I call Cap Joins the Baby Sitters Club. This goes WAYYYYYY back to Avengers 17 

It runs for a very good while before Giant-man and Wasp come back because Giant Man can’t shrink back down lmfao idiot. But its a lot of fun and establishes Cap as being a really good leader even tho he’s thrown into the hot seat because he was out on a mission and everyone else was like “We’re taking a vacay bye Cap. Good luck with the kids” *John Mulaney doing Andy Cohen impression* HUH WHAT WHY

I have no idea what to Rec really lol I know @sineala is part of a SteveTony 616 discord and they do readings every month(?) of either very SteveTony based arcs or specifically Steve or Tony arcs. But I think they have a better grasp of Steve stories than I do.

I would say most recently the run with Mark Waid and Chris Samnee as the artist is a VERY good read. The story is pretty nice and dry lol but the art. Holy shit.

I know there are a bunch of artists that really REALLY get Cap but Chris Samnee is probably my number one favorite Cap artist. Even his sort of retro style works with Cap SO WELL. And I like Mark Waid’s writing. Or at least I don’t think I’ve ever been really mad at it like with Dan Slott or Gillen (We will never forgive for what he did to Tony’s backstory and taking Maria from him) lol

Uh...but as far as I could tell the entire run where Bernie is his girlfriend is VERY good. She first shows up in Captain America 247 . Cap is an illustrator on the side (or as his main job) and man what a dope. His art habits are worse than mine like get a desk Steve. But this arc through Bernie goes through a lot of Steve being kind of stuck in the past and not knowing how to embrace the modern or future and Bernie is there being the coolest fucking chick in the world who’s studying to be a lawyer, watches Wrestling, listens to Bruce Springsteen (I think lol I forget), dunks on Cap for being a weirdo old dude. Very put together woman of the 80s. She proposes to Cap and because I think the writers changed he’s like I HAVE TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY BYE. 

This isn’t on any of the main timelines but its a good read Captain America Man Out Of Time. Basically Cap coming to grips with the future and realizing the past sucked ew. lol Also he listens to Radiohead which Tony gives him a personal concert for because of course he does.

And then of course there’s this fucking TOME of a story Captain America: The Winter Soldier .

Im gonna sound a little negative but I don’t mean it against anyone’s favorite but I have the most exhausting time trying to read this story. I’ve tried at least three times lol. I think maybe Brubaker’s weird obsession with the Cold War (Remember when he called people who were yelling at Slott for being a creep a ‘Bunch of Commies’) is just so fucking heavy handed that I can’t personally get through it. I would much rather watch the movie.

HOWEVER. There’s good old Bucky coming back from the dead. Natasha. Sam Wilson. Sharon Carter. All big players in this story. So uh lol good luck with this one. If you’re also a Bucky fan this is a must read but as I only peripherally like Bucky I don’t care to read this one. 

So I’d check out this arc.

Also a personal fave of mine is 

It starts here on Captain America 402 . Its the best story IN THE WORLD. ITS SO ICONIC. NOTHING CAN COMPETE. I LOVE CAPWOLF SO MUCH lol

[lynnsfics]

Coffee Stained Confusion Ch 3

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“Tell us everything you know.” Sam looked at the girl sitting in front of them. She was a student at the college, but that alone wouldn’t prove her innocence. 

“All I know is what was in the police report that I accidently got ahold of.” she responded. She tried to sound calm but Sam could tell she was nervous. To be fair, she was tied to a chair and had no idea what was going on. Or was that just what she wanted them to believe. 

“Hey, Sam, you mind if I talk to you for a minute?” Bucky asked. “I don’t know if this is getting us anywhere. Besides,” he added under his breath, “she’s clearly scared and isn’t going to be a threat. Do we really need her tied up?” 

“Fine, we can untie her, but she isn’t leaving yet. Not until we can be sure she’s not with HYDRA. You know Tony would have our heads if we accidently let our only lead go. Let alone the Hell that Steve would raise.” 

“You’re right,” he conceded. “But it’s getting late. How about we offer for her to stay the night here? Before you ask, I can sleep on the couch and she can take my room.”

“And if she refuses? We can’t let her just leave.”

“Then it’ll be a late night.”

~~~

You shivered as the two men entered the room again. You could tell one of them had what seemed to be a metal arm, and you assumed that one was Bucky. Something clicked for you then, and your mind flashed back to a news clip of the Avengers fighting an unknown enemy known as The Winter Soldier, who was later revealed to be the “long-dead” best friend of Captain America, James Buchanan Barnes. You found yourself getting nervous, since you weren’t sure exactly whose side he was on.

The other man appeared to be The Falcon, which eased your mind a bit. You remembered him fighting alongside the Avengers, not against them. But what if he had been brainwashed? No, that wouldn’t happen. Would it? You were overthinking everything, and weren’t sure if you had taken your anxiety medicine that morning or not. 

“Hey there,” Bucky knelt down beside the chair, “I’m going to untie you alright? I don’t want to regret that decision though, so please don’t make any brash decisions.” he said kindly.

You nodded dumbly, not trusting yourself to speak. Once the ropes were off you slowly rubbed your wrists, noticing some burn marks where you must have struggled against the ropes without realizing it. 

Bucky’s eyes met yours, and for a brief second you forgot all about where you were as you felt butterflies fill your stomach. As soon as your broke eye contact the filling was forgotten and you felt panic seize you again. Sam cleared his throat, seemingly uncomfortable with the scene playing out before him. “So, do you want to tell her about the deal or should I?” he asked.

“Wait, what deal?” you asked, fear seeping through your body. “Like a plea deal? Oh God, I can’t go to jail-”

“No, not a plea deal.” Bucky said with a light chuckle. “A deal about questioning. And, uh, sleeping arrangements. It’s getting a little late, and rather than us all be up til who knows when asking you questions, we were thinking you could spend the night here and we could pick things back up in the morning when we’re all well-rested. Now, you don’t need to worry, you get to sleep in a regular bed and I’ll take the couch. Does that sound alright?”

“Well, yes, that should be fine. I’m assuming I don’t have much choice in the matter. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble though, could I go back to my dorm to get my anxiety medication. It helps calm me down a lot and I don’t do too well without it.” 

“Well, it probably isn’t the best idea but I think it would be alright.” Sam stated. “Bucky, you can drive her over? Unless you’ll be needing some backup?” he said with a laugh. 

“I’ll be fine, Sam.” Bucky retorted, rolling his eyes. “We’ll be back soon enough.” He led you to the door, and as you stepped outside the cold night air chilled you to the bone. You shivered audibly but said nothing. You didn’t want to seem any weaker than you already did. “I’m sorry we didn’t bring a jacket with us. Here, you can have mine. I really don’t need it anyways.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to be any trouble, and I don’t want you to get sick because of me.” you responded, blushing slightly. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Besides, if my mother taught me anything it was how to be a gentleman. As for the getting sick part, one benefit of being a super-soldier is not having to deal with the common cold.” He shrugged his jacket off and you glanced away, trying not to stare. You shivered again, worse this time, and quickly grabbed the jacket. 

“I really didn’t know anything about the murders until the papers got switched. It was an accident.” 

“It’s alright, I believe you. Sam does too, he’s just being cautious.” As you got to your old, beaten down car that somehow still passed inspection he opened the door for you. “To be honest, I can see why he’d want you to have a lead, we need to get one soon, or else all of this is for nothing.”

You chewed on your lower lip in thought as you got into the car. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t be saying this, it might just drag me deeper into the case but I think I have a lead for you. In biology we were discussing poisons and their effects on the human body. We just finished a unit on belladonna. It’s not much, it’s probably just a coincidence, but it might help you.”

“Was there, by chance, a unit on cyanide?”

“Um, yeah, about a week or two ago, why?’

“Well doll, I think you just helped us find a lead.”

~~~

Me? Actually updating? It's more likely than you think! Anyways, thank you all so much for the continued support! Sorry this chapter is on the shorter side, but I promise the next one will make up for it! As always, likes and reblogs are appreciated! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! Love you all <3

[can-u-imagine-that]

Title: Forgiveness;

Fandom: The Avengers;

Character: Bucky;

Note: Y/N: Your Name; Y/E/C: Your Eye Color;

Warning: Violence;

Request: Can you please do one with Bucky and a female reader where someone gets him in Winter Soldier mode and he ends up hurting her? And then feels super bad about it but she reassures him its not his fault. Thx <3

You had no idea how you got into that situation.

Each time Bucky swing his fists, they got closer and closer to hitting your face.

The Winter Soldier started to suddenly attack all the Avengers with full force after a weird man managed to get himself alone with him. You were nothing but a S.H.I.E.L.D field trainee so all you could do was avoid the heavy and skilled fists of the Winter Soldier.

“Y/N, dodge!” Captain America shouted behind your back, so you, in a complete blind trust wave, rolled to your left, hearing when his shield collided with Bucky’s chest.

They engaged on a fierce fight, both having super soldier abilities making it hard for you to even comprehend their moves.

Bucky had a look on his face that gave you chills.

Nothing.

Literally nothing.

And that hurt you pretty bad because you grew close to him, developing an actual huge crush on the ex-HYDRA agent. He was hard to get close to, but since Bucky was the one being your trainer, you got to spent a lot of time together.

And seeing him acting as the Winter Soldier again made your heart ache because he told you after the 15th time he got you purple bruises how much he suffered.

He just told you because you two had a little game.

Every time he got you a new purple bruise mark, you’d ask him a question about anything you wanted. You once asked for it as a joke and in the end he took it seriously.

It started with silly questions but soon they were replaced by serious ones. He never minded answering though and you enjoyed a lot how honest he could be with you. You felt honored to have his trust, because given his past he had a lot of issues to allow himself to grow close to anyone. The man had built walls around him, walls that after a lot of time you finally managed to break.

You could feel in your heart and it made you the happiest person in the world. To see his rare smiles and to watch him as sometimes he would insist in tending to your scratches from training.

Seeing the Winter Soldier instead of James Buchanan Barnes hurt.

An explosion happened and you saw Cap being throw somewhere down the window of the building.

You were alone with him.

You froze in fear when his icy blue eyes locked in your Y/E/C ones.

“B-Bucky...” you whispered, leaning slowly towards and iron pipe that was ripped out of the wall “It’s me... remember?”

For a second something shifted in his eyes and a little tingle of hope twisted in your stomach. But as soon as you felt, it was already gone, replaced by a groan while he charged against you.

You swing the pipe in his direction but he grabbed easily. It felt like you were a kid hitting their parents with a silly plastic toy.

He crushed the pipe with his metal arm while the other flew on the direction of your face. You managed to dodge, feeling at least a little better that his fighting style was the same. You could keep avoiding his blows until someone got there.

Just as you felt a little braver after dodging another blow, he got you.

And he got you bad.

He kicked you right in your ribcage, making you lose your breath and drop your defensive stance. He pushed his metal hand right into your face, making you fall on the ground, hitting your head hard. Thankfully you had the S.H.I.E.L.D helmet on which helped easing the blow. Even so you were completely dizzy, but managed to grab a rock that had fallen from the wall where Captain America’s shield had hit after colliding with Bucky and hit him right in the forehead with it.

You stop up, runing towards the entrance, knowing you had no chance against him in a combat.

Running you found the stairs that lead to the main entrance hal of the Avenger’s Facility, but as you were quickly going down he grabbed you by the waist, throwing you against the wall.

Yep, there goes another rib.

“Bucky! Bucky, please!” you pleaded, completely scared.

This time you saw nothing reflect in his eyes, but somehow his grip losened and you pushed him away, finishing your descent through the stairs ending on the hal.

Just a little bit more.

The pain on your sides was starting to become unbearable, but you kept running.

And then he caught up with you again.

And this time you were not so lucky.

Bucky managed to grab the back of your neck, lifting you out of the ground while you kicked and debated. Then he approached a wall and slamed you against it. You used your arms to protect your face and remain awake.

Your vision started to blur and when you noticed he was going to slam you again in a last attempt to escape you passed your arm around his, turning half of your body in his direction, kicking his chest with all your strength. He lost balance and with the balance his grip also loosened. You squirmed out of his metal fingers, falling with a loud sound to the ground on your belly.

“H-help...” you gasped, dragging your numb body to escape. He grabbed your ankles and pulled you towards him, twisting your body so that you were facing up, then sat on your waist, locking your body under his.

Your scream echoed throughout the building.

And then he punched.

The first punch hurt like a bitch.

The second like your weak stepmother when you got to her nerves.

The third like a small push.

On the fourth punch you didn’t feel anything.

You blacked out, but had lapses of consciousness. You remember hearing voices all around you and then someone carring you outside, since the sunlight blinded you for a second. Being put in the stretcher and looking to the courtyard of the Avenger’s Facility. When you looked there you remember seeing Bucky. 

Your Bucky.

And he had a desperate look in his eyes when his gaze met yours.

You wanted to say something, but your vision started to blur completely again.

And this time you just woke up again in the hospital, with voices around your bed.

“How do you know you can trust him? Look what he did to Y/N!”

“It wasn’t him and you know!”

“Whatever man. What if another crazy lunatic gets in here and recites the magical bibbidi bobbidi boo and boom super Winter Killer at your service?”

Silence.

“She was lucky, Steve. And you know it. She was lucky she had that helmet on and lucky she knew most of his usual moves. Otherwise, she might’ve been dead by now.”

“He is already feeling like shit, Sam. I don’t want to make things worse...”

You groaned and the voices came to a halt.

“Y/N?”

You coughed a little.

“Hi...”

While trying to open your eyes you felt a sting of pain and noticed that the left one was a little swollen.

“You were out for a whole day.” stated Captain America, sat on a chair at the edge of your bed.

“Whe-... Where’s B-Bucky?”

Steve smiled. You were out for a hole day, probably had your entire body completely sore yet the first thing you inquire about is Bucky’s whereabouts.

“Locked.” you heard Sam’s voice, but couldn’t turn your head enough in the neck brace to see him.

“No... how could you?” if your throat wasn’t sore, you’d have said louder, but it came almost as a painful whimper.

Sam sat on the feet of the bed, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Look what he did to you, Y/N. I don’t care what you feel about him, but this kind of thing can’t become a trend. We were lucky the media didn’t hear of any of this. Otherwise, things could’ve gone worse for him.” he explained, trying to remain calm “Besides. He asked for it.”

Of course he did. He probably felt like trash.

“It’s not his fault...” you muttered after a pause.

Sam sighed.

“I know that. Believe me, I do. But while we can’t figure out who that guy was and how the hell he managed to find that code to activade Bucky’s killer mode, he wants to be locked away, somewhere only Captain and Nick Furry know.” he explained.

You remained silent.

No way.

You had to see him.

Had to tell him you didn’t blame him or anything about it. Because you knew him enough to know how bad he was feeling. He hadn’t hurt only you. He knocked out three other S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Luckly there were no casualities. 

When Sam left you and Steve alone you turned to the blond.

“I know what you’re going to ask and I can’t.” through his voice tone you knew that he would not be that hard convincing.

“Please... Cap... I need to see him. Talk to him. You can take me blindfolded if you want. Just one time is enough. You know he needs to hear me out.”

“He does. But not in your actual state, Y/N. If he see you that bruised, you know he will never forgive himself. Just...” his hands roamed through his hair “Just... let the swolleness on your eye get better.”

You nodded.

“Thank you...” you smiled a little at him “I mean it, Steve...”

--

The week passed slowly.

T O O   S L O W L Y.

Your eye was finally not swollen, but still had a purple hue around it. But you couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky. You had no idea of how both of you would react seeing each other, but soon you would find out.

Captain took you to whatever facility that was blindfolded as promised.

When you were able to see around you again your heart clenched. Heck it looked like a freaking dungeon. It wasn’t light enough, the walls where clearly really thick and the cells looked like actual prisions with iron bars (which were probably made out of Vibranium).

You looked at Steve.

“This is where he is being held?”

Steve seemed to share your thoughts, looking sadly at the cells.

“Unfortunately this was the only S.H.I.E.L.D facility completely hidden from any file and not being used for anything. Furry said it was build especialy for Soldiers like us.”

“You mean him...” you muttered biterly.

He sighed.

“He is on the last cell with the 2-014 number. I’ll wait for you here. Take as long as you need. You just need to put on this code on the panel.” he handed you a piece of paper with a long number code.

You thanked him, walking towards the end of the corridor, feeling as your legs seemed to weight a ton each.

Finding the cell, you digited the number, noticing how your fingers trembled.

Bucky sat on the ground even though there was a bed and a chair on the room. He had his elbows supported by his knees and his head hang low. His hair made it hard for you to see his face and he didn’t even flinch when the door opened.

You licked your dry lips, the tears welling up on the corners of your eyes already, just by the sight of his depressed demeanor.

“B-Bucky?” you tried, flinching when his head shot up abruptly.

You were the last person he ever expected to see there.

He stared at you for a long while, getting up slowly. All the words disappeared from your mind under his piercing gaze. Bucky was acting as if you were a ghost, his eyes going from the top of your head to your feet. He reached to your face, his fingers lingering near your cheek without touching you. And you knew why.

Gulping you lifted your own hand, holding his hesitant one and pressing it against your face.

He let out a breath as his other hand made the same path, this time straight to your cheek.

“Y-Y/N...” he whispered, his voice hoarse and broken “Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His eyes closed while his forehead touched yours, making your stomach round the twist on your belly. Bucky was never that... physical except when he really needed to. You could feel the hurt on his voice and it broke your heart.

“I’m okay... it’s not your fault...” you whispered.

You barely finished what you had said and he snapped out of whatever it was he was feeling, walking away from you.

Uh-oh. Stupid mouth, should have remained silent. You scolded yourself in your head.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” he said, his voice suddenly cold, turning his back to you “I’ll tell Furry that Steve can’t be trusted with the information of where I’m placed.”

“Steve didn’t tell me where we are. He brought me here with my eyes blindfolded.” you explained in a shaky voice “Bucky, look at me, please...”

“I’m sorry...” he repeated “I can’t look at you...”

“What? Why not?” you asked a little louder this time, taking a step closer to him but stopping when he closed his hands in fists “Bucky. Why not?”

“Y/N, please leave.”

“No, I won’t leave.”

“Yes, you will. You have to, right now, STEVE!” he called loudly, making you jump a little back.

“NO! STEVE DON’T YOU DARE TO COME HERE.” you screamed back “And you, turn and look at me, now!”

“I don’t want to, Y/N!”

“WHY NOT?”

“BECAUSE-” he turned and you widened your eyes when you saw his blue eyes glossy with unfalling tears. He continued with a softer voice while his eyes averted to the side “Because. I can’t look at you... with all these purple bruises and this bandages... knowing that I did it. That I hurt you.”

You took a deep breath and stepped closer to him again.

“Bucky... I don’t blame you for this-”

“I know you don’t.” he interrupted, noticing how close you were but being unable to walk away “That’s the problem. You should.”

“Never.” you slowly reached to his face, feeling his stubble and slipping to his hair, watching how he didn’t move away from you, actually leaning into your touch. He was so painfuly and obviously broken and even tired of blaming himself “I will never blame you for what those people did to you. You will always be the kindest trainer I ever had. Who pushes me to the edge but who also tends my wounds. Who has all the patience in the world with my silly questions. The strongest and bravest men I’ve seen and not because of your physical strenght, but because of yout heart. After everything we’ve talked about... after I learned all those things you had to go through. Do you really think I would blame you? After getting to know who you really are? Hell, Bucky, I even feel in love with you.”

The last part actually wasn’t supposed to be said, but it came out so naturally you just noticed when he inhaled sharply, hugging the air out of your body in a bone crushing embrace.

“Ah, broken ribs, ribs, ribs.” you whispered, actually riping out a little laugh of him. He loosened his arms, still holding you, this time lightly and you couldn’t help but crack a little joke being actually really freaking nervous because you just confessed your feelings without intending to “Y’know... I think I rather you breaking my bones this way...”

“You are unbelievable.” he whispered against your neck, making you shiver a bit “I don’t even know what I can do to earn your forgiveness...”

You whacked the back of his head.

“I already told you that it’s okay.” you allowed yourself to hug him back, feeling your heart skip a beat when he kissed your forehead gently “But if it makes you feel better we can try that little game of ours..”

He looked at you, never letting go of your waist, questionly.

“I don’t think any question you can ask will ever be enough to suffice the amount of bruises I gave you.” he stated, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

“Then perhaps we can boost it. Instead of a question you can do something for me. How that sounds? And before you say anything, I know you won’t come out of here so soon.”

“Fine... what do you want?” you could tell he was already feeling much better then when he first saw you, so a smile made way to your lips.

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes out of your lips, because he always loved your smile the most. And of course he hadn’t forgoten your little confession. He was just waiting for the right moment to bring it up again.

Since you had already told Bucky about your feelings for him you had nothing to lose anymore, so before you could change your mind you spoke really fast in a burst of confidence that lasted just until the last word left your mouth.

“You can take me somewhere. Like a date or something.”

“Or something?” he repeated.

“Y-Yeah... well...” your face started to heat up under his gaze and your burst of courage ran away somewhere with you ability to create proper speach “I-I mean... if you... uh... d-d-don’t want to...”

He cut you by pressing his lips against yours softly, humming in contentment when your arms circled his neck and brushed the hair of his nape lightly. You could feel he was still uncertain of how to touch you, being really careful not to hug to tight, and also making sure he was bending so you didn’t have to strach much to reach him.

You smiled against his lips, feeling how the pace of your heart raced when meting with his beautiful blue eyes.

“Is that really all I have to do to earn your forgiveness?”

Slowly a smirk started playing on his mouth and you could not help but to mirror it when you answered, your lips inches apart of his.

“Maybe you could give me a few more kisses and then I can think about it...”

[thorsterstrudle]

Way Back When (1/?)

Bucky x Reader

Warning: no smut in this part, but there will be later. A little angst. Sad Bucky.

Summary: The reader, a secret immortal daughter of Sif, knows Bucky, but can’t figure out how.

You don’t really love them until they’re gone. That’s what I’ve been told. You don’t miss them until they leave. You only love someone when you let them go.

          That wasn’t the case with him.

          It never was.

          To be fair, there wasn’t any love at first sight, either.

          But, my god, there was lust.

          You could say you were immortal, but immortal with a question mark after it. Your mother was some crazy powerful celestial being who’d had a one-night stand with a mortal. Of course, you don’t know the full story, and you never will, because she dumped you with your dad not long after you were born, never to be seen again.

          So, you lived with your dad, while he was still alive.

          He died in 1956.

          And you, you hadn’t aged a day past twenty years old.

          In the time since your father passed, you’d used some of that good DNA to travel the world and maybe—I’m not saying it’s one hundred percent true—become the inspiration for Lara Croft. Maybe.

          So what you liked tomb raiding and exploring temples and creepy shit, it made good money.

          And kept you off the radar of organizations like SHEILD.

          If they knew you had god-like strength and unbreakable bones? You would have been an agent LOOOONG ago. But no. You stayed off their radar.

          Until you started working in Wakanda.

          It hadn’t been long before T’Challa had become king that you had found a ceremonial mask in a tomb just south of the capital.

          Granted, you did feel bad for raiding this tomb, but you felt worse when you stumbled beyond the barrier and saw what outsiders NEVER get to see.

          Long story short, using your amazing wit and intelligence, not to mention knowledge of burial sites, you got yourself right out of trouble.

          And onto the payroll of the crown.

          You were now the official Agent of Antiquities and Artifacts. Shuri had a good laugh about the AAA acronym.

          You’d worked for the crown ever since. In fact, you had just excavated a burial site to the west when you returned to find a new citizen.

          “My King,” you said, “I found three caskets of bones, each in traditional early Wakandan Burial Attire, along with three chests of gold, though I’m sure that doesn’t exactly excite you.”

          T’Challa ignored your sarcasm, waving your forward to the throne and gesturing to the white guy standing in front of him.

          “This is James Barnes,” your king said, “he will be with us for some time for rehabilitation.”

          “Cool,” you reached over to shake his hand, noticing that his left one was missing, “(Y/N).”

          “Nice to meet you,” James replied, quiet.

          “Anyway, I gotta get these bones to Shuri’s lab for whatever the hell she does with them,” you addressed your king, but your eyes remained on James.

          There was something about him, something you recognized, but couldn’t quite place.

          It wasn’t until you saw him again that you realized what it was. Besides dat ass.

          You’d just finished up the hike to the healing springs when you saw him there, sitting in one of the larger pools. And naturally, it’s just us.

“Hey, there!” You said, trying not to scare him but also trying to not be weird about trying to not scare him.

“Oh,” James turned his head, hair up in a bun, looking much healthier than the last time you saw him, “hi?”

“Can I join you?”

“Well,” he hesitated.

“It’s okay if not.”

“No, you’re fine. I don’t mind.”

You took off the t-shirt and shorts you’d had on and laid them neatly beside the pool before stepping in the steaming water. You sighed briefly, trying to keep your eyes from lingering on James’ chest. (Because goddamn.)

“So, uh,” you made a face, “where do I know you from?”

James froze.

“Because I recognize your face and your name, but I just can’t place it.”

James didn’t reply.

“Were you by any chance in Singapore for New Years’ in 2005?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

“’Cause I did a lot of things that night that I really can’t remember.”

“I—um, I am—or was—was the Winter Soldier,” he said quietly when you took a breath.

“Who the fuck is the Winter Soldier?”

“You don’t know who that is? You know, the guy Captain America left SHEILD because of?”

“Captain America? Dude, he hasn’t been around since the 1940s, you need to chill out.”

James cocked a brow at you, the stray hairs falling away from his face. You locked eyes. You knew those eyes.

“Wait a minute…Bucky?” It clicked. And you remembered a lot more than you did from Singapore.

“Alright, Doll, I’m gonna be deployed any day now, so I suggest you get on with it.” Bucky smiled at you in the light of the setting sun.

“Afraid they’re gonna ship you off before you even get the chance to kiss me?” You teased, fingers playing with the buttons of his button-down.

“Nah, just that you’re gonna chicken out on me.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

          You could taste that kiss as you sat, over 70 years later, in a pool with the man you thought was dead.

          Bucky stared at you, slowly coming to the same realization you had. You could see it in the way his muscles relaxed, then tensed back up again.

          “How are you alive?” You both asked at the same moment.

[tocxmply-archive]

O Hero: I will write about my character mourning yours. --- @hakune​ ---

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Buchanan Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Buchanan Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

          he’s lost count of the days. how long did he stay in that cocoon of snow and blood? how long till a foreign voice found him, accompanied by a glare colder even than the hard rock around him? eyes fluttered shut, then, and, next time he reopened them, he was here --- in this cell. stripped of guns and clothes and dignity, bandages wrapped around the ruins of his left arm. of course, the FREIGHT CAR... the fall, Steve’s hand that he couldn’t hold, the sound of metal whining and breaking, Steve’s eyes wide in horror and shock, the cold that swallowed him whole, a scream lost in the blizzard and the snowy alpine mountains. and, now, this cell.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Buchanan Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

          he’s cold, so cold that it’s like he’ll never again feel warm and comfortable; it’s like winter has settled in his bones to stay. he’s tired too, so tired, and he’s sore and hurting and feverish and numb and scared. of course he’s scared, he’d be a fool not to be... this doesn’t look like the factory, but it doesn’t look much better, either. the factory had stale bread and moldy chunks of something or the other but, here, he’s offered a thick glass of whatever brown goo that is. he doesn’t touch it, he remembers not touching it for a long, long while --- till his mouth is forced open and the brown goo is forced down his throat. it tastes like shit, probably worse than shit. there was one time, he remembers, when Steve was knocked on his face and ended up with a bloody nose and a mouthful of dirty sand... that bully eventually suffered the same fate and went running home to his Ma, crying about how terrible it tasted. somehow, the brown goo seems to taste even worse.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Buchanan Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

          the guards leave the cell, along with the man in a white lab coat who was supervising everything. as soon as they do, he forces himself to retch that liquid death; no way he’ll ever accept any of what they want to force into him, even if it means being hungry and cold and miserable. not even three minutes later, the guards are back along with a new man, all decked in his Soviet military uniform --- if the ranks are the same everywhere, and if the uniforms reflect the same rank, he’s a colonel. Актив не может голодать. мы не можем потерять актив. he’s got no idea what it means, and isn’t allowed time to wonder, either. this is the day he feels the kiss of the metal cane for the first time, the day he meets the Asset’s first handler for the first time. it is also the day he realizes the cell is under constant camera surveillance.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

          it could have been a week, it could have been five years. it’s hard to tell, when there’s no mean to mark time with and every day is the same. in this cell, there is no night time. there is no DAYBREAK. the brown goo has come to stay, and so did the kiss of the metal cane. the feeling of broken bones slowly becomes familiar, as does the feeling of bones healing incredibly fast, thanks to whatever Arnim Zola has once injected him with. at least, Arnim Zola isn’t here. even the colonel is slightly better than Arnim Zola. the brown goo is the only form of sustenance he’ll be getting, this much is now obvious, and he made himself retch two more times after the first one. now, the guards only release him when enough time has passed for it to be absorbed. your don’t want it, your own body betrays you. you pray to God, but God is silent.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

          the question is ever the same, and so is the answer --- or so he believes. every answer is wrong, if judged by the outcome. maybe the kiss of the metal cane will slowly grow familiar, as well. anything that only stings, without breaking bone, has already grown familiar. they expect him to answer in Russian, and half of him wants to learn what they are teaching --- so that he can make sense out of their chats, so that he can find a way to break free and escape and return home. Steve must be worried sick... it is never good to leave Steve on his own for too long, it always ends up with something reckless being done. for some reason, they want him to stay in top physical shape --- which is incredibly stupid when it comes to a prisoner, he thinks, but may yet work in his favor. if he’s to break free and escape, being in top physical shape will be essential. even if the training routine stings almost as much as the kiss of the metal cane, and is near impossible to achieve with one arm only. but he endures it, and dreams of the day of HOMECOMING. if he doesn’t try to retch the brown goo, he’s come to realize, they allow him a couple hours of non-interrupted sleep. he hates the brown goo, but it is worth enduring if it means seeing Steve for a bit, every night. this night, he dreams of a silly dance with Steve in the kitchen.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Barnes. sergeant. 32557038.

          THE HERO THAT SACRIFICED EVERYTHING. the newspaper is on the cell’s floor, right in front of him, but not really. PLANE SUNK IN THE ARCTIC SEA. it’s not really here, it has to be a fake. it has to be a lie. it has to be a hallucination. it has to be a nightmare. CAPTAIN AMERICA IS DEAD. you pray to God, but the heavens are empty.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Barnes. sergeant. 32550738.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? James Barnes. sergeant. 3257038.

          it could have been a year, it could have been a decade. there is a little part of him who refuses to believe. it’s a fake, it has to be a fake. Steve is too stubborn to stay idle at the bottom of an ocean. Steve is too stubborn to die. even if the plane did crash, he will break free and escape no less --- he’ll go to the Arctic and find the plane and find Steve inside and kick him back alive if he must. feverish thoughts make sense, sometimes. as of late, the kiss of the metal cane doesn’t come alone --- there’s bullets, as well. maybe gunshots will eventually grow familiar, as the broken bones have. he never again tried to retch the brown goo. he’s almost fluent in Russian, by now. enough to understand orders, enough to know when he’s told he’s to execute enemies of HYDRA that are brought in. whenever he refuses, and he always refuses, there’s a bullet for the prisoner’s head and one for himself, in different body parts. the prisoner dies, he heals. they whisper Hail HYDRA, every time. 

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. sergeant. 3257038.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. sergeant. 325038.

          it could have been a decade. the first time he does not refuse to execute the prisoner, he wishes he was bold enough to pull the trigger on his own head, instead. but, if he dies, he cannot break free and escape and go find Steve. he answers in Russian now when they ask, but the answer has not changed --- he hopes it hasn’t. it’s hard to remember, sometimes. it’s hard to remember that anything else exists out of this cell. he never retches the brown goo anymore, he stopped defying during the training sessions, the kiss of the bullets is almost bearable. sometimes, they reward him with going out of the cell, well guarded and supervised. зрение актива важно. the Asset’s eyesight is important --- he understands them, now. it’s important, of course... he’s a sniper. a long, long time ago, he was in the military. as a sniper. one day, he’ll have his sniper rifle back, and then he’ll be able to break free and escape. for the time being, there’s solace to be found in staring at the snowy fields and forest. he’s not their Asset, not while he remembers his name. his home. his birthday. ONE NINE SEVENTEEN.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. 325038.

          one day, he has his measurements taken. he can’t remember the last time he wore clothes, and the thought of having some that will fit him is almost hilarious. maybe they’ll make him look like the handler the colonel. Sergeant Barnes used to be so good looking, if he can remember right. more and more, he feels like he can’t remember right. the brown goo is almost acceptable, because it has become tasteless. the broken bones and gunshots have grown infrequent, though they still happen after every wrong answer. a few days later, or it could have been a century, they show him a piece of metal shaped like an arm. it looks a lot like his own lost arm, in both size and contour. there is a red star there. Hail HYDRA.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. 325038.

          he’s tested for the arm. it’s heavy, so heavy that he almost topples over when trying to get up with it. this arm probably weighs more than Steve’s entire body. no, Steve isn’t frail and sickly anymore... Steve is Captain America. Captain America is dead --- that’s all right. he can accept Captain America being dead, so long as Steve is alive. the arm is heavy and doesn’t move, just hangs limp at his side. he has no idea what he’s supposed to do with it. maybe it’s RUSTED. the handler the colonel seems pleased, nonetheless, and today he’s allowed an extra hour of sleep. Steve is in his dreams, frail and sickly and begging him to come home. he wakes up confused, because Siberia is home.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. 325038.

          this is a room he never saw before. he’s lying down, strapped to a bench. there are many guards, many men in white lab coats. the handler the colonel is here. there is a face he did not expect to see, a face that fills him with dread, but the name escapes him... he can’t remember the name, only the smile. only the wreckage of a factory somewhere, floor cracking open and turned to a FURNACE of lava. Sergeant Barnes, the procedure is about to start. this man does not speak in Russian, and this is wrong. the man’s smile is wrong. Sergeant Barnes is wrong. there’s a bit of plastic slipped in between his teeth. there’s the electrical sound of a saw being turned on, the saw comes near, the saw touches bone--- ...oh God. you pray to God, but God has forsaken you. you scream, you scream so loud and so much that your voice is gone. everyone is very pleased. you get extra hours of sleep. somehow, healing from the procedure takes far longer than the kiss of the metal cane or the kiss of bullets. you dream of Steve. you both sit outside in the snowy fields, and speak in Russian. something is wrong... Steve can’t sit outside in the snow, he’s frail and sickly.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. 3258.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? 32038.

          this is a room he never saw before. in the middle, there’s a strange sort of chair he never saw before. he’s commanded to sit, and he sits. he can’t remember the last time he defied an order. the arm with the red star is brought back. there are many guards, many men in white lab coats. the handler is here, so is the doctor. the arm is placed, metal contraptions are placed around his head, too. there is no bit of plastic to bite on. there’s electricity, and a terrible sting of pain in your arm. it’s like every nerve is being pulled at, at the same time. you swear nothing will ever hurt like this arm hurts. at the end, you don’t remember what happened but the arm moves. you have two arms again. everyone is very pleased. you’re allowed more hours of sleep, they give you clothes to wear. you don’t know what to do with them, so they’re put on for you. it’s black leather. there’s so much black. this night, you dream of Steve waiting at the train station, wondering why you stopped writing letters. one day, you’ll bring him here. you’ll bring him home.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes. 328.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes.  

          the arm becomes part of the body. it feels strange, so strange, like the body isn’t his own anymore. the body now belongs to the red star. the body now belongs to them. it’s all right, because he doesn’t need the body. he only needs the mind, where Steve is. the kiss of the metal cane has stopped. it’s not effective anymore. it’s not felt anymore. bullets are kept whenever he answers wrong. sometimes, they are not felt, either. it depends where they hit. training the arm has become the priority. today, you killed an enemy of HYDRA with the arm for the first time. it’s a lot faster than bullets, and doesn’t leave a mess behind. you are given a sniper rifle as reward, and you begin being trained with it as well. the arm must learn how to move and how to hold guns. a strange feeling at the back of your head tells you that, once, you wanted to do something with a sniper rifle. you can’t remember what. remembering is so hard, sometimes. whenever you’re allowed outside, to train your eyes, only one guard is needed. you see no motive to break free and escape.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? Barnes.  

          this room isn’t entirely new. it’s the room with the chair. it’s strange, because the arm is in place. everyone is very pleased with the arm. nonetheless, the metal contraption is placed around his head. the doctor talks to the handler, but you can’t hear it well over the sounds of metal. they talk about the first experiment, about taking notes, about comparing progress, about having to be careful to not erase what is needed for the Asset to still perform at excellence. you’re scared, because they are talking about you. you don’t want to be their Asset. you don’t move. the bit of plastic is slipped in between your teeth. the electricity comes, and you scream like you never screamed before. the chair hurts more than the saw, hurts more than the arm.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? i don’t know.  

          the electricity stops, and they ask your name. you don’t know. you can’t remember. you don’t know who these men are, till you slowly remember. the doctor and the handler are very pleased. there is a terrible ache in your arm and you fail training for the first time. you expect the kiss of a bullet, but instead you’re allowed extra hours of sleep. this is wrong, they shouldn’t reward their Asset for failing. you lie in your cell, aching and sore and feverish and exhausted, unable to fall asleep. you realize what they have done and you’ve never felt so scared before. they’re making you forget... they’re taking everything away. they have already taken your name away. you squeeze your eyes shut and try to commit to memory every single detail in Steve’s face, body, expressions, clothes. please, don’t take him away. you dream of meeting Steve at the ice cream store behind his house, but you can’t find him because you forgot his name.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? i don’t know.  

          they put you on the chair again. and again. nothing hurts like the chair. you forgot your name. they hold a mirror to your face, and it’s as though you haven’t seen it in a long, long time. the red star is familiar. the doctor is the doctor, the handler is the handler --- they make you repeat this much, till you remember or learn again. somehow, you did not forget how to speak Russian. how to hold the guns. how to use your arm. but your head is empty, and it’s filled with so much static. you lie in your cell at night, and you try to remember a name that you know is important. you can’t remember the name... you remember the face, the clothes, the piercing blue eyes, the strands of golden blond hair kissed by the sun --- but you can’t remember the name. God, i beg you. don’t take him away, not him. you can take everything, but not him. please, God...

как Вас зовут? what is your name? i don’t know.  

как Вас зовут? what is your name? i don’t have a name.

          nothing burns like the chair. the doctor and the handler are very pleased. you don’t need guards to go outside, anymore. you don’t ever need guards anymore, unless in the room with the chair. the body now moves perfectly along with the arm. they’re one and the same. the body and the arm belong to then, and your mind does too. your LONGING is gone. Hail HYDRA. you lie in your cell at night, and there are flashes of blond hair and blue eyes. you don’t remember the name, you don’t remember the face... but you know this person is important. thinking about this person makes you feel a little bit less tired, less numb, less sore, less aching, less empty, less filled with static. please, God... don’t take him away. i will find him again, even if you take him away.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? i don’t have a name.

          nothing burns like the chair. you hear talk about your new room. about starting missions. the doctor and the handler are very pleased. please, God... don’t take him away. you don’t know what you are praying about, you can’t remember. but you pray. God doesn’t answer you. He never did.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? i don’t have a name.

          nothing burns like the chair. you stop praying.

как Вас зовут? what is your name? the Asset has no name.

          nothing burns like the chair. the Asset’s new room is ready. the Asset is brought inside, the doctor wishes a good night. suddenly, it’s cold again. so cold. this cold burns almost as much as the chair, for a moment, before it becomes completely BENIGN. completely peaceful. it’s so peaceful, it’s impossible not to want to sleep. you close your eyes, with the image of a reflection staring back at you from your new room’s door. you never saw this face before. and you go to sleep, with the dreadful sensation that you’re forgetting about something very important.

HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. what we did not realize was that, if you try to take that freedom, they resist. the war taught us much. humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. after the war, SHIELD was founded and i was recruited. the new HYDRA grew. a beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. for seventy years, HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. and, when history did not cooperate, history was changed.

[occasionalfics]

worth my while // p. 4

main masterlist | thor masterlist | ko-fi | p. 3 | p. 5 

Summary: After being banished from his home, Thor Odinson has stopped at nothing to prove himself worthy of his throne, title, and power.

After losing the love of your life, you turned to a power you didn’t understand.You know you shouldn’t get involved.

But how could you not?

Pairing: Thor x Reader (Hercules au…kind of…)

A/N: So this chapter gets a little dark. There aren’t actual mentions of things that might warrant trigger warnings (I don’t think), but there are implications of possible suicidal thoughts (Reader here is not actually having those thoughts herself, but there are reasons for Thor to think she might be) and pretty overt examples of abuse. I just want to warn anyone that might be sensitive to those subjects.

I think these things should be digestible here, but I just like to be careful and mindful.

As always, leave me your thoughts!

Warnings: Violence, lots of angst, borderline abuse and definite manipulation, eventual smut, way too many feels, major character death (eventually). A little more harassment on Hades’ part this time around.

Words: 2,821

When you had started dating Rick, you’d texted every day. There had never been a moment you hadn’t thought about him at first because you were always in communication with one another. That was why you were sure you’d make it - you had clear, open lines of disclosure that made being honest and intimate easy.

But he’d left you for another woman anyway. And now, by your own stupid, stupid mistakes, you’re stuck being Hades’ servant for the rest of time.

That’s why you’re so conflicted after your coffee date. Because, on the one hand, you’re still thinking about Thor. The longer you stayed and chatted, the more you liked him. The more you liked him, the more you wanted to run, because liking him wasn’t an option.

He hadn’t given you a phone number - because he didn’t have a phone, he’d assured. Which means that, if you want to see him, you have to initiate the meeting.

Which is completely out of your playbook. So for a week after the coffee...date...thing, you avoid Avengers’ Tower. Hades makes that easy by not avoiding you anymore.

“You were a great distraction last time,” he says one morning over breakfast. You hardly eat anything, not because you’re not hungry, but because, you know, you’ve read about Persephone before. Doesn’t matter that Hades has insisted that the food in his mansion doesn’t work the same way as the food in the real Underworld. You don’t want it either way; never have, never will.

You’ll grab one of the granola bars from your purse later.

“I wanna keep you doing that,” he says, shoveling a forkful of sausage into his gob.

You stare, open-mouthed and a little offended, honestly. You know you’re capable of doing more, and since you’re in this job for life, you may as well do what you can to make the time worth it.

“What about recruitment?” you ask. So what if you didn’t get Doom on the first try? It wasn’t your fault, and Hades knew that! He’d basically said as much!

But all he does is shrug. “Got someone else on that. Don’t worry, babe.”

You grind your teeth, both at the name and the absolute condescension in his tone. The funny thing about Hades, you’ve noticed, is that he might think he’s above human men because he’s an immortal God, but when it comes down to it, he’s just like everyone else. Just as greedy, just as pompous, just as ignorant. Only he has magic powers and doesn’t age or die naturally.

But you don’t say any of that. You’re already demoted to being nothing more than a pretty face.

You stew through the rest of breakfast. After Hades clears the dishes with a wave of his hand, he tells you to get ready to head out, but not where you’re going. In fact, he doesn’t even say another word to you until you’re in the back of his town car with him, his silent, dead-eyed chauffeur never even acknowledging your existence. It’s probably for the best, you figure.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Hades tells you as the car pulls away from his curb. The house disappears - literally - as you drive off, but by now, you’re used to that effect.

“Sounds dangerous,” you mutter.

Hades chuckles like he thinks you’re the cutest little toddler in the class. You cross your arms and stare out the window, but you’re listening. You have to be, to catch the things he says. And he knows it, all too well.

“The Avengers work as a team. They’re powerful on their own, sure, but they formed a group for a reason, right?”

You know he doesn’t expect a response, so you don’t bother giving him one. You can see in the reflection on the window that he’s not even looking at you anyway.

“So, if I want to get to the heart of the team, I have to separate them first.”

That makes you stop. What he’s suggesting is...impossible. Lesser foes have tried to do exactly what he’s talking about - that Zemo guy from a few years ago is a prime example of how well that endeavor went. Especially since the United Nations found his manipulation of the Winter Soldier to be treasonous enough to somehow outweigh Captain Rogers’ disobedience of the Sokovia Accords.

Clearly, there are things no one outside of the U.N. and the Avengers will ever fully understand about the situation, but your case rests, if you’re going to make it.

“How do you plan on doing that?” is what you ask, finally turning to look at him again.

He winks at you. You hate him with a fiery passion.

“Let me worry about that, Babe.”

You wish, so much, that that answer might mean he doesn’t have a plan. But this is Hades. He always has a plan.

--

The car drives around busy Manhattan for too long. Hades never commands the driver to stop, never demands to be let out, never asks if you even want so much as a hot dog or a can of soda or anything.

It isn’t like Hades to keep every detail of the plan from you. Sometimes he doesn’t divulge everything - just the things he thinks you need to know - but the fact that he hasn’t said anything for at least twenty minutes is...startling. Unnerving.

You start to wonder what it is he’s planning when the car comes to a full-stop, despite the light being green. You’re sure you’ve driven past this building at least three times already, but then again, a lot of the buildings look alike. Still, the traffic stands still, even as the light stales, turns yellow, then red again.

Then the ground shakes. Your eyes widen, and you lean forward to try to see out the windshield. You swear Hades chuckles beside you, but you ignore it.

The shaking gets worse. People step out of their cars all around. It’s like 2012 all over again, only when you look at the sky, there isn’t a portal opening into the middle of space. There’s no beam of light shooting up from Avengers’ tower.

There’s just shaking. And screaming. That is loud and clear. People start running. Your heart beats six times faster than it normally does - or at least that’s what it feels like. But Hades and the driver don’t do anything. Well, Hades watches the crowd and laughs, but the driver… He may as well be dead.

You glare back at Hades and push your way out of the car. You don’t even notice that he doesn’t stop you.

This monster is huge. Well, they’re all huge, but this one… It towers. It stomps around buildings, uncaring of what it steps on. It yells out like it’s in pain, and you notice that it only has one eye.

The first thing you think is This thing can’t be from here because the last time you saw a monster, unprovoked like this, it had come through the hole in the sky.

But the last monster you’d seen had been an invention of Hades. It was of Earth. And the cyclops before you looks...half-human, if you had to guess. It looks too human to be anything from beyond this atmosphere.

You’re stunned. Of all the things you’ve seen, this is what gets to you?

But it does, either way. You don’t know where to go or what to do, so you stand in the middle of the road and look up at the monster as it nears. You can barely hear what it’s asking for, but between its thunderous roaring and the yelling of the people around you, it doesn’t matter.

It’s all chaos.

This isn’t Hades’ forte, though. This isn’t his domain. He deals in Death, and in life, like you’d told Doom.

You wonder if he’s gotten in contact with Eris. If she has anything to do with this at all, or if she’s just simply feeding on it.

As far as you know, Eris isn’t here. Something is flying, but it’s not a Greek God.

You notice the cape, first. Deep red, like the center of a sunset. Silver arms glinting under the bright midday rays, and a golden crown that billows as the wind passes.

Not Eris. Not Hades.

Thor.

Something in your stomach settles. At the mere thought of Thor, you’re twice as calm in less than an instant. He shouldn’t have this effect on you, but he does. All you can do is watch as he halts mid-air, throws his hammer back, and catapults heavy, hot lightning bolts at the Cyclops.

For just a split second, you think that this is what it feels like to look up and see a superhero. To know the day is saved. To really believe in one person’s ability.

But you crush that feeling quickly. You like Thor, sure, but as a person, and just barely. He’s one of the most powerful Avengers, if not the most powerful Avenger, and therefore, the most dangerous, too.

More of them join. A jet flies overhead, and out dropps Captain America, Falcon, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. Iron Man comes in, then War Machine. People in blue tac gear come out into the street, pushing crowds back as the heroes do their work.

A hand wraps around your wrist. When you try to pull away, it gets hot enough to burn, leaving a mark without truly causing irreparable damage. And then you look up and meet Hades’ smoldering navy eyes and know you’d have to do whatever he planned.

With everyone else so distracted, Hades merely vanishes, bringing you with him. Instead of walking into a building, he transports there, continuing to go unseen by most mortals.

Only you, and those desperate like you were when he found you, are special enough to see him. Those were his own words, of course, from the day you’d agreed to his terms for bringing Rick back.

Hades leads you up a staircase and onto the roof of a building, so close to the fight that, if the Cyclops turns in your direction, you’ll stare right into his one, giant eyeball.

You look at Hades, wonder what kind of monster he is, but quickly stop. If he’s a monster, then you’re the monster who sold your soul to him for a man that doesn’t belong in this world anymore. If Hades is the worst the world has to offer, then that taints you.

But he is. He is the worst that the world has to offer. You’re sure of it as he tugs on your wrist again, and as you pull back against him, despite how hot his palm is against your skin. He’s stronger, immortal. He pulls on you, and you scream, you plead, you cry, even though you know none of this will change his mind.

You don’t know why he wants to feed you to his monster. You don’t know what this could possibly gain him. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s going to do it one way or another.

He gets you to the edge of the building without calling attention to you. But then, with your toes on the ledge, you cry out into the world that you are sorry, that you regret whatever it is you did to deserve this end.

“Whatever it is you did” was wake the dead.

--

You don’t know if you blacked out or passed out. Did your mind save you from having to relive the trauma of falling from a building, or are you dead?

You wake up in a bright room. It takes a moment for you to realize that it’s a hospital room. A nurse is standing over you, and as your vision clears, you make out the little mole she has right above her lip. It’s cute in a very Marilyn Monroe sort of way.

She smiles at you, says something that you can’t hear over the ringing in your ears, then nods and leaves.

She’s replaced with a crown of gold. No armor this time, no glinting sleeves of silver, no hammer and no cape. Just a simple red shirt, dark pants, and a gray hoodie. Hair pulled back into a low ponytail, a few strands dangling around his face.

“Thor?” you ask, because he’s definitely not the first person you expected to see.

He coos. You can only tell by the soft roundness of his lips, the kindness in his lightning eyes, and the bright day outside the windows. He coos like he’s known you for years, drapes himself over your bed like he’s your only friend.

In a way, he kind of is your only friend. Besides Cerberus, of course.

You shake your head. “What the…” But that hurts a lot, so you stop.

“Don’t get up,” he says, in a way that makes you think of the opposite of Hades. Something light and happy and easy and gentle.

He can’t be gentle. He’s huge. He’s a God, and a man. His hands could cover your face easily. He’s not supposed to be gentle.

But he really, really is. His hand on your shoulder doesn’t press, except to keep you against the bed. His voice is low with next to no echo in the room. And when you’re done struggling to sit up, Thor slowly puts himself on the side of the bed, facing you with eyes clouded with concern.

“What happened?” you ask, but the second it’s out, you remember.

Hades pushed you off a building.

Gods you hate hm. He’s not even here, after pushing you off a building?

You know your feelings don’t matter to him, though. He owns your soul. He more or less sees you as nothing more than an annoying meat sack around his real prize.

“You jumped off a skyscraper,” Thor says. You meet his eyes to find concern, worry, even sadness. For you. “I had to catch you before the Cyclops got you.”

You’re almost surprised that your initial reaction is to be flattered. You know what really happened, but what makes your chest warm before you can stop the feeling is that Thor had rushed to save your life. He didn’t know Hades had pushed you - he just thought you were attempting to get in the way, for no apparent reason.

But all you say is, “Oh. Well. Thanks.” You feel your hands shake, like news that you jumped off a building is startling to hear. In reality, you’re shaking because he is too good and too nice and completely contradicting everything you’ve thought about the Avengers. And he’s making your job so god damn difficult without even knowing it.

The swirl of emotion that causes your hands to shake is the same swirl that made you swear off men. For good.

You haven’t noticed that Thor’s been staring at you, but he has. And he keeps staring, going so far as to dare to ask, “What were you even doing up there, (Y/N)?”

What do you say to that? While he might believe the truth - that your employer is another God who’s Evil and using his power over you to the detriment of yourself - it’s not like you can or should tell him.

Hades has taught you that there are worse things than death, and that he alone has the power to inflict those things.

So you’re sworn to secrecy.

You sigh. “I took cover when the ground started shaking.”

“You do know you’re not meant to go up when the Earth shakes, right?” He has a glint of something fun in his eyes. It takes you off course, sets your mind racing at a pace you’re not used to. Are you angry or happy that he’s joking with you?

Since you can’t decide quick enough, you move on.

“I couldn’t find a bathroom in the lobby. I took the stairs to the next floor and…” Your voice cracks at just the right time. You force yourself to stagger your breaths, to elongate the next few as your eyes widen. “Some guy - he started chasing me. Shouting awful, terrible things. He...he followed me all the way to the roof and...

It’s all an act, but Thor seems to buy it. He’s finishing the scenario in his head. Then he puts a huge, hot hand on your knee. It’s just light enough that, if you’d flinched, he’d be able to remove it in a split second. You know it’s just meant to comfort you - and it does, because even if you hadn’t been thrown off a roof by some random dude, you’d been thrown off a roof in any case.

You’re just grateful that you hadn’t seen the street from the top of the building.

More than that, you’re grateful that Thor was there to catch you, and that he’s here now.

[hellyeahheroes]

Uncanny X-Men #11 is Outright Vile

Women in refrigerators. POCs killed for white people narratives. Anti-vaccinator and pro-suicide messages. Return of FascistCap. This book has it all. So obviously, all kinds of trigger warnings below.

I will not be posting any pages from the Uncanny X-Men #11. Not a single one. At least aside from that first page which reads like a bad joke anyway. Yes, this stuff is an actual page of this book. And I urge others to do the same and not post anything from it. When previously I would find this book to just be awful at this point it has reached levels of being openly mean-spirited and spiteful. While Matthew Rosenberg talks on his twitter how he wanted to discuss serious topics in this issue, dealing with personal experience of self-harm and suicidal thoughts, neither he nor anyone else at Marvel took care to actually warn potential readers the book flat out shows a suicide scene for shock value and I have already heard reports it has triggered people. So I urge everyone to not post these pages less we trigger more people.

Yes, the book has a character commit suicide. The story has a subplot of Cyclops searching for Blindfold, whom Rosenberg claims to be one of his favorite X-Men. And after reading this issue I have flat out said on twitter and I will say it here - could have fooled me. Scott finds her too late, as she already has slit her wrists in the bathtub. So this is what her story amounts too. She dies so that Scott Summers can feel sad. Or sadder, he wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows since page one. A character created after 90′s and not popular enough to get resurrected in the next 20 years dies so that people who come back to life more often than Jesus can pretend death in comics still has a meaning. A woman dies so that a man can feel sad. The page above is right. Every X-men story really IS the same.

This is not delivered with any respect whatsoever either. On the previous page, we had Madrox telling Scott where he can find Ruth and to leave her alone and then we get a splash of her death with coloring and art so bad you had to actually study it carefully to realize she is, in fact, not naked. As far as lack of respect goes it is out there with that godawful Heroes in Crisis cover showing dead Poison Ivy, wrists slit, ass up. 

What’s more is that at the end we have a backup story, so-called Last Blindfold Story. Which pretty much explains that she did it because she’s been tormented by visions of her own death and cannot see any possible future in which she does not get killed. And this is very obviously a clear metaphor for invasive thoughts, all the dark scenarios people tend to run in their heads about how everything is going to turn horrible, there is nothing good awaiting us in life, no hope or future, just continuous series of crushing failures, disappointments, humiliations and all-around misery so it is better if we just killed ourselves. I know that feeling, even though I am not diagnosed with anything. I will say even I had these feelings to deal with after coming today from a, particularly disastrous day at work that made me dread my future and indeed made me think of killing myself. And then I’ve read this book and do you want to know how this whole story came out to me? It told me that this voice telling me to end myself is right, that every scenario I envision not only will happen but is inevitable and it is better to just kill myself. Thankfully, being spoiled the contents beforehand made it I reacted to the pages more with anger than getting put into an even shittier mood, I certainly did not need it. 

I do beleive Matthew Rosenberg, just like Tom King on Heroes in Crisis, means well, I really do. I do believe each of them is trying to tell a personal story. But we really need to sit down and talk about how the mainstream comics portray and handle topics like anxiety depression, other kinds of mental illness and disorders, self-harm or suicide because for every book that deals with it with respect like recent Unstoppable Wasp or Mister Miracle, and you notice these are always niche titles, we have a high-profile book that completely botches it for shock value and preserving the status quo. Rosenberg might be working through some personal issues but he does so in a way that doesn’t seem to realize the damage he is doing all around.

Speaking of shock value this issue also casually kills of Loa, one of Marvel’s very few Pacific Islander characters. Worse that scene, in the end, serves nothing, it is there to shock you and does not add up anything. You cannot even say that it was done to push Blindfold to her suicide or to show the situation really is that serious. It amounts to nothing in Ruth’s storyline and the latter is being hammered down through the entire issue anyway, this is completely redundant death done only to get people talking. How am I supposed to believe that X-Men writers and editorial really, as they claim to, care for these characters when they write something that treats them as disposable. Similarly, aging of Velocidad done from overuse of his powers is there only to nod Wolverine more into getting back into the game, something that so many other elements, including his conversation with Blindfold, already accomplish, making it redundant. What does that leave us with, however? Two POC characters killed or alerted beyond saving to show how serious the situation is and two teenage girls killed to make things look bad and grim for our manly heroes? For a franchise that prides itself for being a metaphor for minorities, X-Men sure treat women and minorities as nothing but props for stories about white guys.

When we are at treating other characters as props I cannot help but mention that Captain America, Black Widow, and Winter Soldier show up here to protect a mutant-hating rally from any mutants who would want to start a riot. And even though they tell you they want to protect both sides Cap sure didn’t step in when the mob tried to kill Cyclops for speaking his mind but stepped in only when he started fighting back. He had no real answer to Summers accusing him of protecting fascists either. I do wonder what do Mark Waid and Ta-Nehishi Coates think of their efforts to fix Captain America after Secret Empire being flushed down the drain for the sake of an outdated message of mutant isolationism. They did the same with Phil Urich, making him a coward who refuses to do his job out of fear of public opinion. And topped on some old-fashioned ageism by having Chamber, a Gen X character, go and tell Scott, a Baby Boomer, to give up...while Millenials are sacrificed to prop said Baby boomer’s story. And I don’t care Jordan D. White is ranting on twitter with Marvel sliding timescale O5 are now “true” Millennials, nobody cared for this thing in a long, long time and he comes off as bitter old man trying to pretend he is still young.

Speaking of the said rally we need to address the problem of the whole mutant vaccine plotline. And is it me or does the whole thing comes off as anti-vaccinators propaganda, with evil bigots trying to practice eugenics by forcing mandatory vaccines on kids that somehow work on something genetic? Is this really the way you want to use the mutant metaphor? To equate your heroes with a bunch of idiots who don’t want to vaccinate their kids for stupid and often bigoted reasons like assinine belief vaccines cause autism and they’d rather their kid died than be autistic? Is this really a message you want to be sending? Maybe next X-men will start wearing MAGA hats, proclaim Earth flat and draw comparisons to “blue lives” defenders?

It is not that the story is dark. I like dark stories. I love them even I’d say. But there is a difference between being dark and being pointlessly grimdark for the sake of it. One of the reasons why I read superhero comics and why I am a fan of Earn Your Happy Ending narratives is that I find inspirations in seeing superheroes being knocked down and still raising, still pressing forward until they win against all the odds and prove that yes, there is a reason to fight another day. But so far Uncanny X-Men made it abundantly clear this will not be another day in which I or my generation are welcome. I have no doubt X-Men will win in the end. but it will not be X-men with Blindfold and it will not be X-Men with Loa and it will be not X-Men with Velocidad. It will not be X-Men with any of the characters I care about at all. It will be X-Men that made it clear not only am I not welcome here, the book actively things the world will be a better place if I and my entire generation were gone so that it can relive good old days alone.

But hey, it had two guys beating up mooks on a splash page so it CLEARLY means the franchise is on the right trac /sarcasm.

- Admin

[lovelyirony]

“The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body.” -Publilius Syrus 

When Tony Stark was born, there was great joy. Stark Industries had an heir! The All-American family was born! There were photos and news clippings, and someone even brought in a cake to celebrate. There are pictures abound, an exhausted mother who is still trying desperately hard not to let the panic set in her face, and a father who is not quite sure how to be a father, and will never be sure.

There is someone else there, who knows that he has missed his mark. His name is Obadiah Stane, he is thirty-nine, and he had thought that the Starks would not have a child. But Howard’s whole statement in business is to do the impossible, and here Anthony Edward Stark is. A little baby, unknowing of all the power he holds. He can’t even open his eyes, and he already has more power in Stark Industries than Obadiah will ever know.

He can’t kill a baby. It doesn’t go against his moral code—most things don’t—but they’ll know. Howard’s seen Obadiah at his most ruthless, even helped acquire some business deals by less-than-great methods. Howard knows that Obadiah wants to run the company, make all the decisions. Which is why after Tony is born, Howard schedules an emergency meeting with his lawyers. Only a Stark heir can run Stark Industries unless directly overridden by the Stark in question. Howard never changes his mind on his decisions.

His hands shake in rage as he pours another glass of brandy. He’s furious: he’s been in the business since he was a teenager, working his way up. This little brat, just born, is going to take over a business that he won’t know fully about. He’ll be coddled within an inch of his life, suck on a silver spoon—probably not silver, if his socialite mother has anything to say about her standards—and Obadiah will be working under him.

There’s a glass of Scotch, smashed glass, and a promise that he makes to himself. But, he’ll need help. Something like this can’t be accomplished by just one man, sad enough as it is. Times, they are a-changing.

He reaches out to contacts. People who hate Howard Stark almost as much as Stane does. They point him to an underground group. Hydra. There’s a man in a computer, fanatics over Captain America, and the craziest motherfuckers he’s ever known. Naturally, Obie fits right in. In between cigar smoke and cruel laughs, there’s a plan.

Hydra has a beautiful project. Shiny, new, dozens of kills under its belt. The name they call it is Winter Soldier, and Obie remembers learning about him in the books. “They got you, didn’t they?” He murmurs. “Beautiful work you’ve done, Doc.”

“Thank you,” Dr. White says, pushing up black wire-rimmed glasses up. “It’s all a matter of the mind. Analyzing the weak points and natural spots. We can get your subject’s under our control in no time. How old is he?”

“Five weeks.” Dr. White pauses.

“That’s much too early.”

“Aren’t babies malleable? Pliable, easy to manipulate? What, you haven’t thought of this shit?” The doctor flashes Stane an irritated look.

“We think around here, Mr. Stane. It’s why we have Winter Soldier. But we’ve manipulated his personality, what made him…well.” He whispers the answer, as if Winter Soldier might think he’s worth more, that he’s not expendable. Stane thinks it’s a good business model.

“What you’re saying…he has to develop a personality. So this is taking, what, eight years?”

“Try twenty,” Dr. White says. “I can draw up paperwork, we can start planting things early, but this will take time. This involves taking a child and turning him into a project. Kids don’t do well with that kind of…well. It gets harder to assimilate their brains to treatment with it changing in development so often.”

Obadiah doesn’t like that there’s so much time, but he’s been given pointers.

Howard Stark was never cut out to be a father, and that’s a plus on Obadiah’s part. He has doubts, and Obie lets those doubts consume him. He doesn’t have time to be a father, he has more people that need his help.

He spends countless years trying to hold back a grin as year after year, the Starks get more estranged. Tony eventually realizing that a family isn’t like his, never should be. Howard and Maria are cold, and Obadiah plants seeds of envy in between Howard’s sips of scotch.

“He might surpass you,” he says. “Probably will, you’ve raised a smart boy.” Howard never raised shit—the kid would probably be a bit better off if Howard had made any fucking effort at all, but where would his plan be of brainwashing Tony and turning him into a little tool for Hydra to use? Nowhere.

It looks perfect. There were constant jokes about Howard being a drunk—there were pictures of him being red-faced, a little bit flirty, but always dashing.

Well. Everyone had their own vice. Howard’s was easier to exploit. Just a well-placed word here, a look there, and everyone believed that Howard was drunk. (No one remembered the fact that Howard always arranged a driver if he was planning on drinking, no one mentioned that Maria’s neck was bruised with handprints.)