#he didnt write the script bro

[cyberhai]

The 2021 MK movie is so much more enjoyable when you don't have a little demon in your ear screaming about why it sucked

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 7

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

A new day a new chapter! Today we get into the Water Prison. The real question: will Shen Qingqiu actually make it out?

No Charlie pics today, I have been abandoned at my reading/writing station, but I do have tea! Tea today is a blueberry jasmine.

Let's get into it!!!!

What the fuck?! Is this an acid lake? p89

Dang it really is crazy how after two accusations with zero evidence or proof that Shen Qingqiu actually did anything, he get's locked up in maximum security prison. p89

Right now I'm having war flashbacks from MDZS -> another protagonist out here doing their best with the rest of the world just making shit up about them for fun. RE: Little Palace mistress and her delusions of what SQQ did. She literally even says- he didnt say you did anything but I have a vibe. Like what? p91

We are gathered here today to all witness how Shen Qingqiu is once again refusing to acknowledge that he is indeed the Love Interest. Honestly, does anyone ever tell him? I live for the day the system changes his classification from villain to Love interest and actually tells him this. Idk if it happens, but now I need it to happen. Re: "what fit even less was the fact, in the original work, the Little Palace Mistress's refined iron whip had only been used for attacking love rivals" p93

Luo Binghe to the rescue!! p94 just catching that whip

Okay but when SQQ states that something is wrong with the script- is he actually on the path to understanding? or still clueless? I hope he sort of realizes what's happening, because dang this guy has 0 idea Luo Binghe would kill for him p95

OOP. "There is no need for Shizun to be so wary. If I wished to do something to you, I wouldn't need to touch you at all" p96

Re: point above about "is he understanding?" *deep sigh * SQQ has not learned at all and refuses to actively listen. He is still trying to follow the old script p.97. Okay but I do love how this guy is accidentally getting himself (in a weird way) romanced.

I honestly am pretty sure this is a dating sim XD "*to the system* Do you think we're playing a dating sim?!" p99

omg torture via demon blood is horrible. Like this is a worst nightmare, having little bugs in your organs NO THANKS. p101

I'm crying LOOOOOL two options; 1. the fake jade guanyin. 2. [Activate Small Scene Pusher] and gets his CLOTHES ripped off. Bro is now the lead in a period bodice ripper XD p102

*face palm* "Does it just take advantage of Luo Binghe's physiological disgust upon seeing a man's half-naked body?" p104. no my man, it is not disgust

oh no, giving him his outer robe made it more scandalous p104

RIP confirmed that that is the previous canon's sex robe p106

literally everyone has a feeling about what's up. Gongyi Xiao is eyeing SQQ, see's the robe and does indeed assume things about SQQ and Luo Binghe. How stupid is SQQ??? p107

Re: the note from Shang Qinghua to SQQ. Shang Qinghua is also an idiot, this guy had 1 job and that was to not fuck up the mushrooms. he goofed this exponentially. RIP those mushrooms. p109

Welp. Gongyi Xiao is realizing that Luo BInghe may not be as pure of heart as he thought p112

it's so much worse though- he really thinks that Luo Binghe assaulted SQQ and is now helping SQQ escape. p113

meanwhile SQQ is living in his own universe LOL no idea these are the assumptions. Also, IDK what's going to happen when Luo Binghe inevitably see's SQQ in Gongyi Xiao's robe. RIP GYX p115

Okay but SQQ I too would freak the fuck out if I had a walking/wake dream. Meng Mo's realm is no joke. p120-121

Dang Luo Binghe has become so strong. This dreamscape is insane. pp 124-126

again with the clothes ripping. I hope one day they enjoy this consensually. p127 (blessed be this canon for the fanfics)

in which SQQ does not realize that the fight in the dreamscape is indeed not a fight- it is most definitely foreplay. p128

I fucking KNEW IT Luo Binghe was NOT pleased with SQQ wearing Gongyi Xiao's robe. LOOOL. p130

but also I don't know what became of GYX but let's take a moment to remember him, I am sure he did not make it.

oh gosh more tragic SQQ backstory :( p132

I am glad I clocked it in the last chapter. Something was so fishy about the family that took him in and his "betrothal" my heart for SQQ :( :( :( p134

Okay get it Ning YinYing!!!! Re: her talking shit to and about Little Palace Mistress to her face! p138

yes she got slapped but still she did a pretty good job! and her sect siblings have her back.

That is it for today!!

Oh god. ofc we leave on a cliffhanger with a shady guy ready to super saiyan AND the next chapter is ominously titled "Death". I am not prepared for this!

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

something awesome that upped my street cred

Caleb (JV football player): *bragging about himself*

Isaiah (our classmate): but you got no bitches

Caleb: aha no I got so many

Isaiah: oh yeah prove it

Caleb: *only serves to prove how few bitches he has*

Me: come on I get more bitches than you

Caleb: aha no you dont

Me: then how come I’m going to the dance with a girl and you ain’t even going to the dance at all

Caleb, who thought I was joking: …girl???

Me: yeah.

Caleb: *proceeds to be homophobic*

Me: *proceeds to bake his poor ass about how few bitches he has*

Isaiah, totally on my side and impressed with me: Oh my god Caleb she BAKED YOUR ASS, FULL HEAT,

Caleb: no she didnt

me: only reason you ain’t going to the Winter Formal is because you know girls aren’t gonna approach you except to tell you to refill their punch glasses because you look like a damn waiter

Isaiah: OOOOOOOOOOH

Caleb: *completely stunned*

Isaiah: bro you better APOLOGIZE TO HER BEFORE SHE WRECKS YOU AGAIN

Caleb, who hasn’t said a single clever word: I’m sorry for absolutely baking you

Me: oh, I’m sorry, is that a script you want *me* to follow? You’re supposed to be apologizing, not writing my apology.

Isaiah: *fucking dead*

[projecthipster]

Pulp Fiction

You've seen this on a hundred t-shirts, but why?

“Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.”

Somehow, I turned 26 without ever having seen Pulp Fiction. I guess I vaguely knew that this was some sort of violent, amoral movie that college freshmen (emphasis on the men) loved for being subversive. And committed as I was to some sort of soft-revolution folk-listening bike-riding Wes Anderson form of hipsterdom, it wasn’t that I hated the idea of Tarantino, but he was never on my radar aside from watching Inglorious Basterds on cable one night. And now that I’ve actually sat down and watched Pulp Fiction in one sitting after years of posters and memes, I have to say what I didnt fully expect to say: I get it. I think I totally get it. My persona’s not going to be uprooted by this movie, but if this was the first thing I’d seen that wasn’t, like, Michael Bay’s Transformers, I can see how it would have that impact.

A few years ago I might have filled this review with thoughts on whether violent crime in movies, perpetrated by the protagonists, was problematic. But truth be told I’m a bit tired of the vaguely neo-puritan concept that a story’s quality can be evaluated with a sort of demerit system, by going over a script with a comb of fine moralistic teeth and dropping points for every problematic aspect. I could easily do that to Pulp Fiction, and in the interest of fairness, let’s do that briefly here. Few strong female characters:  debatable, given how memorable repeat Tarantino collaborator Uma Thurman is as a nostalgic-fun-chasing gangster’s wife and washed up actress, but let’s say point off. Every time Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, and Bruce Willis gun down people in cold blood: point off. The entire ending to Bruce Willis’ segment: several points off. Tarantino writing a speech of a white guy standing in his kitchen spouting racial slurs like Pitchfork writers spout baseless comparisons to earlier albums, and then casting himself as that white guy: many, many points off. You can decide for yourself whether you want to take points off for the foot fetish. Was that fun? Are we purified? 

I couldn’t say exactly why I’m over this neopuritanism. Maybe it’s the algorithms, censoring anything with naughty bits for the sake of greater appeal and therefore greater profit, forcing a sort of childish doublespeak. I don’t think there’s a single scene in this movie that could survive unedited on Tiktok. No one in Pulp Fiction is unalived. They die. What’s more, they fucking die. Working around that even for progressive reasons all smacks too much of more classical conservative censorship. There’s a classic interview from around the release of Kill Bill that I found before I queued up the movie. A fusty-vibed pundit does her best to take down Tarantino with accusations of corrupting youth through senseless onscreen violence. He rallies back, more convincingly, that even kids can separate movies from reality better than the moral crusaders tend to assume. Why all the violence? Because it’s so much fun, Jan!

And as I watched this apparent frat bro classic, as I was swept into the sheer style of it all, with the classic music and the funky directing and the whip-quick dialogue that swings between incredibly casual and over-the top theatrical, while I didn’t feel myself turning into a frat bro, I felt my inner Jan wither away somewhat, because, yeah, it IS fun! Pulp Fiction is two and a half hours long, and it feels both longer than that for the amount of stuff in there, and shorter than that for its headlong galloping pace. No, the gangster protagonists aren’t good people. They shouldn’t be role models. They don’t need to be. They’re lurid, florid, edgy clowns, and it’s fun to laugh at them while also being a little scared for them, because if they’re shot, then the fun ends. That was the appeal of the pulp fiction of a century past, of cheap crime novellas sold on tables outside train stations that crumbled quickly into paper dust. As in that namesake fiction, Tarantino’s characters navigate a world divided into Their People and shrieking innocent bystanders, with the ratio tilted rather more to the former than you’d expect. Their stories branch and weave together, wrapping back into a thematically cohesive nugget where it all began. Each of them is a little movie in its own right, introducing us to characters in scenarios that spiral into wild climaxes.

One of the problems here is that not every branch of the tree is created equal. We start with the bits  I’ve seen in memes for decades. Vincent and Jules, buddy hitmen, talk about burgers and track down some dudes. Jules taunts one, plays linguistic games, and recites a fictional bible verse before shooting him through the head. Vincent takes his boss’s wife, Mia, out to a fifties themed diner. Until I watched Pulp Fiction for real, it should be said, I had this impression that it was a period piece. It’s not, it turns out. It’s set in the early nineties, when it came out. It just so happens that every damn thing onscreen throws back to decades previous. The screen itself feels soaked in nostalgia. Maybe that’s part of why it feels timeless. What’s timeless when it’s created will always be timeless. What’s timely fades. Going back to the diner, for example, Vince and Mia enter a dance competition that feels right out of Grease, which yes, I know, was a period piece too. That leads to this climax involving a big adrenaline syringe.

You  see why this is all hard to summarize in a linear manner?

The chemistry of Travolta, Jackson, and Thurman is a great source of the aforementioned all-important Fun through all this. It’s a drop down to suddenly turn to Bruce Willis’ corrupt prizefighter and his character-free doe-eyed French wife, even if that segment does climax the last way you’d ever possibly expect. It mostly all wraps back together at the end, though, with a truly tense final standoff. One thing I like, a closing grace, is that all this blood and swearing and needless slur-dropping ends not in the most violent shoot out yet, but in a  calm and simple act of mercy. It’s like the end of The Catcher in the Rye, where you can see a little bit of character development start to seep in, colouring everything previous as explanatory preamble to this little bit of worthwhile change. 

There’s a touch of hinting at the role of the author as God in fiction, too. The main catalyst for this all-important change, the change that structures the whole rambling multi-threaded movie, is a coincidence that saves Jules’ life. He calls it a miracle, views it as an Act of God. That’s supposed to be Against The Rules of screenwriting. Acts of God, which within worlds of fiction are obviously Acts of the Author, show the hand of the author, and so inherently call attention to the unreality of the story. But maybe, this movie is saying, that’s sometimes ok. There’s a confidence to rapping on the fourth wall a bit. By making the audience aware of the unreality of the story– something even done as early as the title in this case, it has “fiction” right there in it– the work makes them aware of the craft inherent in creating the fiction they’re watching. You only want to do that if you’re damn sure the craft is good. Thankfully, in this case, it is. 

One of the great defining factors of Hipster Fiction, I’m finding, is an appreciation for the auteur, for a story as a product of a singular mind even when, as in the case of a movie, it’s really the product of hundreds of people working together.  That stands in contrast to fiction pushed out of homogenizing studios and record labels and publishing houses, eager to erase the most dramatic and therefore potentially polarizing flourishes of the author into a marketable mainstream. That’s why I don’t mind the quirks, even the weird ones, as much as I might. Tarantino is singular, and the weird foot shots are a signature because he’s a weird dude about that. That’s the sort of thing that would be ironed out of a focus-grouped, less auteur driven, less hipster movie aiming to satisfy everyone. 

That ending, and the touching on the author’s Godly hand, cements Jackson’s melodramatic gangster Jules as the closest thing this all has to a bit of heart. A bit of heart is nice. It’s not why we’re here, though. We’re here to watch John Travolta talk about burgers, dance the twist, and shoot people.

I give this hipster movie four dorm room posters out of five.

Project Hipster is a futile and disorganized attempt to dive into the world of things that the internet has at some point claimed "are hipster," mostly through ListChallenges search results.

This review comes from the eleventh list, The Greatest Films For Hipsters.

Stay deck.

Next up: a book you’ve probably read.

[blackvail22]

bro i have been sick as hell these past few days

took a covid test and, well, i have covid!!

the first time ever, too

and now, in about 6 hours from now, i have to call my job and tell them that

I. FEEL. SO. BAD.

i know its not my fault im sick, but we only have, like, one person to replace me... and if he cant work, what then? i think there is a new person, but im the associate that trains people, too. who is going to train her?

i keep writing the script of what im going to say in my head. i keep going over it over n over... nothing seems quite right...

its so difficult to talk to my store manager, too. i mean, im socially awkward in general, but she doesnt respond in ways i can expect? and its difficult to read her facial expressions (if she has any at all), so it stresses me out. i cant understand her lol

and thats not her fault...

but i have to call off (again), but this time, its for five days. oooh my god.

i might just ask to talk to my assistant store manager, but i know shes usually busy when shes not mod... and shes stressed out enough lol

im going to SOB

i think my fear of not being believed is taking a part in my anxiety, too, since my mom never believed i was sick while growing up (i was sick so much it caused me to have a disease in my tonsils and severe sinus issues and allergies) so, i mean!!

everything always ends up back to my mom

kinda crazy

kinda... sad.

off topic, but i find it difficult to talk about my dad to my sister, specifically in a... bad way. shes so close to him that she wont see much, if any, wrong in him, so its generally hopeless lol

like, my dad has always had favoritism towards my sister. he showed up to everything for my sister and paid full attention to it. me? nahh. he'd go *sometimes* or if he had to take me, but he wont pay attention.

it makes me sad that i never really had a parent i could go to. i guess i go to my dad, now, but its not the same. its not. i still have this uncomfortable feeling towards him. or, like, he isnt my dad. i dont know. i just see him in a different light now... idk how to explain it

how did it go from me having covid to me being anxious abt telling my boss to me having daddy issues?

woah

i need to take my concentration medication LMAO

its 2:18am on december 2nd, 2023.

i am v much not okay! and thats okay

i just wish i get some actual sleep and i stop fucking coughing

oh, and for my boyfriend to text me back when he wakes up instead just reacting with a heart to my message

goodnight!

update: i got decent sleep, im not coughing as much, AND my boyfriend texted me back. didnt expect that to happen lmao

[latibulater]

Venture Bros Rewatch notes: The Incredible Mr. Brisby

Dean being a nerd of course and the fifth leg comment the rapscallion energy is off the charts and Rusty is already THIS close to tranquilize them - I wonder how often Rusty was tranq'd before he learned to be quiet

ON THE RAG this whole sequence makes me call over cackling between Hank being foul not knowing what hes talking about, Doc getting offended for no reason, Brock being unapologetic.

UGH More racism whoo!!!!! Mandalay is interesting because if we stay strictly with Watsonian reasoning, yknow he probably is some man from the city who used racist stereotypes to snag a job under a very wealthy man, but writing wise all we got is that he is a big silent black bodyguard stereotype

"trapped beneath an unstoppable metal lincoln for two hours" this made me laugh really hard

"pandas milk" seriously nailed how weird rich people are. do we think the panda is actually thee david bowie's panda or the sovereign's panda

dean's enthusiasm about animals is still so cute

brock trying to start up conversation with mandalay...i need to reread that fic where brock bottoms for mandalay liteally amazing fic

brisby and jonas......so many nightmares within that. how many people besides doc and brisby know about jonas' cloning. also what do we think rusty's pills are?

"profits have gone zippety doo da"

rusty took over, at most immediately after jonas died while rusty was in college, or sometime a little bit after as we know rusty has said professor impossible didnt fail him out of sympathy for jonas dying, so maybe the company was managed by the board or someone else ran it.......so many possibilities.

"IVE COME AFLAME AGAIN" seriously burst out laughing

EW Hank's spit landing in Dean;s mouth. Whyyyyyyyy. Like obviously. to play into Themes. but blegh.

The Brisby dome makes me laugh. "You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me 50 yards?!"

MOLOTOV INTRODUCTION.

The Orange County liberation Front.....CACKLING. "ANIMATED ABOMNIATION [BRISBY] CREATED BRINGS DARKNESS TO THIS WORLD!"

"Did you forget about no?" Man okay Doc......

Brisby falling down the wheelchair inaccessible stairs mid way through his villain speech.....that is classic Vbros.

Sorry to Brock but if Molotov Cocktease wanted me to join with her I would never leave her lap

The way their whole argument sounds SOOO scripted they have had this argument.a million times.

OKay what motel is this...................

The whole sex thing with the cigarette....PEOPLE WITH ORAL FIXATION UNDERSTAND

okay but the orange hat is so funny and actually appealing design.

okay but this whole b-plot about how the way disney feeds and feeds and eats up people and land and resources by displacing people and managing the districts

MY FAVORITE SCENE IN S1. DOC ON TRUTH SERUM.

"Reading from top to bottom: lisa, carol, freemont " "ive always depedned on the kindness of stranger oh mercy which one of you strapping young bucks will catch my fall!" HOW DO PEOPLE NEGLECT TRANS FEMME RUSTY IN THEIR READINGS

the little misogyny bit with the orange leader wife is like. SO, bad no reason to do that.

brock JUUUUUUUST missing the plane and chucking a rock at it. do you think he has insecurities about not being enough one day. like do you think the boys dying so much makes him feel like shit at his job at night before bed 3 beer 6-packs in

the elegant acrobatics of the bee mascots.....LMAO.

Molotov staying to true feminism not letting her boy toy's goals get in the way of her pay check

okay but rusty getting shot at by the nail gun thrice is both so compelling to me this man must have the worst aches and pains

brock vs mandaly being set up just for mandaly to say hes gonna leave is as the inversion of the racist trope is the whole joke which is like. not worth the racism and it sucsk!

okay so brisby is on fire and molotov leaves with the panda

the way brock pulls the nail out of rusty's wrist makes me SO ill for a split second everyTIME i get a little baby barf feeling  i can just imagine the sinking of the nail sinking through the wrist and it being the only thing youre hanging off a wall of with ll your weight hanging and BLEGHHHHHHHHHHH

I used to hate this episode and now I like it a little better but still not overly much. 5/10

Venture Bros Rewatch notes: Home Insecurity

Fucking hilarious that Underland is designed like a disney princess villain lair but actually with all the executions.

tiger balm....tiger....bomb.....makes me laugh EVERY time honestly all i can think of when i hear tiger balm

Knowing that there are many kids with amputations in Underland from the child mines, like that is crazy the child amputee rate must be one of the highest in the world. i get that its played for jokes and it was funny, but if we are gonna be serious about all of it this counts and is like. mind boggling

whoo! use of the r slur! the way ive had to fucking campaign in my family to get them to stop using it and then i turn on this show and theyre saying it like every other episode makes me want to hunt down hammer and publick

okay but thats a waste of tiger.....

ik we dont learn this till later but i have questions about underland apparently being located right next to michigan.....PLEASSSSE LET ME SEE THE WORLD MAP IK ITS SO FUCKED UP

Brock's blue shirt is so beautiful on him...wish I could unbutton it off him. Dean and his hover boots, honestly those boots should make a come back

Stupid ass racist costume!

I literally choked on my spit and coughed at the same time Doc coughed at Brock's fumes

Okay I think Rusty is just doing a bit with the whole "big man think you can take me on? i knew this day would come" like seriously, the twins are so fucking silly but rusty is so beyond sarcastic he really is just projecting his own issues onto his kids all the time.

HELPER!!!!!!!!! Him going to take care of Rusty and so comically seeing NEW ROBOT blueprints and packing up a knapsack including a pic of child Rusty and Helper, oh my god it is just the sweetest robot and makes me wonder if there is a similar situation like with the red Helper happening with the whole....human brain.

the henchmen fighting and getting distracted till doc wakes up an slides into the panic room LOL

also i do love the underland footmen look as someone who loved tmnt it looks very foot clan

hank and dean may be a little over the top but they did take care of the scorpion and tarantula pretty handily.

Dean and Hank in the panic room and not even knowing when it was built....like seriously how many memories are they missing, consider they repeated being 15/16 over 10 times

Hank choking out Rusty is SO FUNNY Hank is just trying to help!!!!!!! just send them both to a first aid class you will be better for it doc

Rusty lactating!!!!! Milky king!!!!!

The animation and storyboard in this episode flips between dynamic and very getty stock images which is pretty funny

Dr. Girlfriend getting insulted and telling the monarch to use the phone himself...him trying to get an outside line....god i feel so old.

bigfoot baby!

"GUARDO" you fucking idiot Rusty. "I fell asleep" Okay but have we considered the fact  that you just don't have a head for mechanics and need to switch science majors

THE SNACKS FOR COMPANY. And Monarch apparently seeing the Baron for the first time since college and them trying to kill each other at first in a big dick measuring contest.

"how do you even mix it up! augh its like having my dad do the shopping!" ok i need more orphan jokes from the monarch stat seasons 1 he kills with this

its funny to see bigfoot and brock and steve summers meeting is so funny...considering that they all fuck when brock stays with them after he leaves the osi

"do you know how long 6 million bucks takes to pay back on a government salary!" fucking screammmmmmmmmmm

"lab partnership is a sacred trust" SSTILLLLLLLL want to know about how this happened

The Monarch fucking around struggling with his old ass computer makes me SOOOO nostalgic i remember we had a similar computer in the kitchen growing up.

Dean reading Helper perfectly and Doc going through a slumdog millionaire flashback before emotionally manipulating his mommy robot

One henchman became a hench after the plant closed and he only had a GED. one had a crack addiction and got off it. one (gary) got kidnapped) underland minions are drafted and then executed at 38.

"SASBURGER"!!! GOD "Sasquatch gave me a new life" Brock trying not be grossed out but like trying not to let it show (but only because he thinks Sasquatch is a woman at that point and he's bigoted but pro-str8 people always.

"Go team Helper!"

Jesus I really SSOOOOOOOOOOO would fucking fucking fucking kill for an expose episode on how henching works in the world as a job

all the army men are idiots very appropriate. brock getting SOOO weirded out. It is homophobic but also I choose to believe Brock has never seen a cock bigger than his own and got so horny and emasculated he got wigged out.

First mention of the Guild in this episode about filing paperwork on collaboration which i think is funny

Helper not letting Rusty out is SO funny me and my siblings would do that all the time. Truly, there is a lot to be said about Rusty and Helper's relationship. No other relationship has been as long for Rusty as Helper, who has been there sinvce he was a young boy and has always looked out for him.

Overall this episode is really fun and enjoyable, it does very well with having very silly concepts being treated seriously and then serious situations being treated clownishly. always love steve and sasquatch, altho the vbros design is so............he has a face only steve summers loves apparently. and the conversation on paying back the osi for the bionics was good worldbuilding/commentary on real world disability issues of how disability devices are often very expensive and only work at the behest of whoever made the device. my own cousin had a cochlear implant that worked very well but then he was told it was being recalled and he could get new one and now its works awfully for him

would rate this one like a 7/10. very solid but nothing too rib crackling funny or show pausing overly interesting

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Ughhhhhhhh I wanted to save this post for a lot later in my project but fuck it,I just started episode 4 which means that the jack the ripper arc is starting and boyyyyyy will I have a lot to say about that as far pronouns go

So yeah, this is Me Pointing Out The Use Of Formal And Informal Yous In The German Dub Of Black Butler part 3 (feat. Actual Explanations This Time woaaaa)

Okay, basically we have du, which is informal you and you use it for like, your peers I guess and people you know well

Then we have Sie, which is formal and you use it with people who have some kind of authority and/or power over you (employers n teachers n stuff like that) and with strangers or people you only want to maintain a 'professional' relationship to. Also, yeah you have to capitalize it when you write it down bc theres also sie as in, she and sie as in, they

Last but not least theres Euch, which you also have to capitalize. I didnt actually know how this was properly used until I looked it right before I started writing this because Ive never heard it being used outside of fiction occasionally, and if youve read my previous posts I probably said something wrong about it. From what I can tell its used for like, royals, aristocrats, people with nobility titles or whatever you wanna call those leeches, so thats why Lizzy n Ciel use Euch to refer to eachother that makes sense. That being said, I still think its kinda strange that Lizzy uses it for Ciel while also trying to get him to be less formal or whatever. Like, I can buy that Ciel would do that but Lizzy ?? Then again, she grew up as a woman in victorian england so thats probably why. HOWEVER the mafia guy addressing Ciel with Euch is still funny like bro, youre kicking the shit out of him his stupid nobility title doesnt mean shit now

Anyway, now that thats out of the way, I have two things I would like to point out:

Number 1: when Madame Red gets pissy w/ Lau for pretending to know who the Undertaker was towards the start of the fourth episode she uses du, when she had previously only used Sie bc yknow, even though they seem to be on p good terms, their relationship is purely professional at the end of the day. Now, I was gonna go on this whole tangent about some incomprehensible bullshit in order to explain this or whatever, but the reason for this probably really simple: its weird when you get upset enough to yell at someone but still use Sie. Thats it. Now, idk if this is particularly common but I actually remember doing something like that with my therapist lol like, I usually address her w/ Sie because yknow, ~Profesionalism~ and when I got really upset during one of our sessions and started yelling at her I switched over to du

Oh wait, I just remembered in the second episode that scene where Lau insinuates that he would do something "indecent" to Ciel and Madame Red starts yelling at him, she uses Sie for him there ?? Idk maybe the script is just inconsistent and Im putting too much thought into all of this

The second thing I wanted to talk about is: Sebastian has been referred to as Sie pretty consistently so far and like, I know thats gonna change soon because theres no way Grell is gonna keep trying to be professional or whatever once shes out of diguise, but still. As of the start of episode 4, the only people to use du for him are Ciel and that mafia guy and thats weird to me. Like, it makes sense for the servant trio to do that because hes In Charge and all that, and it makes sense for Grell because even though theyre 'peers' in the sense that theyre both butlers, they are strangers and dont really know eachother. But like, why is Madame Red doing it isnt she a baroness?? This would make sense in the modern day because you would address like, your friends personal assistant or whatever with Sie, regardless of wether or not youre "above" them in some weird way, because youre strangers and you wanna be polite to the people sour friend employs but. this is the fucken victorian times man, Idk a lot about that era but Im pretty sure they were big on this kind of weird classism

I was gonna end it here bit then I thought what if no one wants to du him because theyre intimidated or smth. Like, I know he can be intimidating but is that supposed to be 'a part of him' in the same way that being really hot is or what. Does he have a strong aura that compells people to do that. does he have that sigma male vibe. Discuss. comment down below

[onlyhereforangst]

*if you enjoyed this week’s NCIS episode do not continue reading, scroll right on past this post*

ok WHERE TO START.

Maybe with the fact that NCIS quite literally would not have been called to that accident. Literally, no reason. They have zero jurisdiction. Just like they have ZERO jurisdiction when Gibbs actually trespasses. Y’all he trespassed. There was no probable cause no nothing, no reason for him to be on that property. So like in all of this, they should have never been in this situation so thanks for making *that* believable, writers.

Oh and then let’s get into a particularly fun part. God damn CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL, PLEASE. I’m not sure if they got a *single* vet-related topic right. Scratch that, they defined a term correctly so whoop-de-fucking-do they know what a dictionary is, congratulations. Let’s run down the list of the mistakes shall we? First, a dog with a gunshot wound in the chest is hiiiiighly unlikely to survive let alone run across the street, casually not be in shock and sit up completely alert as a person walks up, and make it out of surgery/hospitalization less than one day later. That’s cute. AND I’m sorry but pericardiocentesis? Yes you defined the procedure correctly, gold star for you, but you WOULD NEVER NEED THIS WITH A GUN SHOT WOUND. This happens most commonly from cancer, heart failure, or *maybe* hit by a car trauma. But there is nothing that makes a gunshot wound to the far end of the chest result in blood around the heart. Blood in the lungs? Now we’re talking. But blood in the pericardial sac? Oh honey, no. Just no. There were other big words you could’ve put there, so many others. And then good god the bandage job, HAH. Catch me laughing my ass off at the hilariously horrific job of bandaging. Not even close to right and imma just leave it at that. ITS ON THE DAMN ABDOMEN INSTEAD OF THE THORAX WHERE SHE GOT SHOT PLUS ITS INCORRECTLY WRAPPED PLUS WHERE IS HER CHEST TUBE FOR HER HEMOTHORAX SHE SHOULD HAVE OKAY WHERE IS IT. and then moving on to our lovely “hair loss” like Kasie, the writing crew, everyone- those are scars. From being a bait dog. Every single dog you see there looked like a textbook bait dog. That “hair loss” is not from some damn pool chemical and you trying to sell me on that one is a crying shame, NCIS. Plus Jesus can we get a real hair pluck? You ain’t gonna get a damn thing with those forceps, get me some sterile hemostats, stat. Aaaand finally, I’ll wrap this up: PREDNISONE AINT GONNA GET YOU BUILT BRO. It’s not gonna get your dog built and it’s not gonna get you to lose weight. Prednisone is a catabolic steroid aka it breaks things down. Things like muscle mass that apparently these dogs are taking to fight. And surprise it makes dogs & humans gain weight. Another lovely fact it does not give dogs roid rage so don’t try and sell me on that shit either, writers. You picked two literal opposite steroids to list off, one being so unbearably wrong it should be hysterical but it’s just an embarrassing show of lack of research.

Ahhh now to my favorite part. The blatant and disgusting police br*tality of it all. At attempt at masking this by claiming its “for the dogs” is pathetic and the problem. If you try and tell me that the shit they just pulled on the show is “ok” because the dude was abusing and killing dogs, that is the problem. That’s exactly how people rationalize systemic racism in case you were wondering. But I digress. Never, NEVER was this an okay script to air, let alone after the events of Summer of 2020. Tone-deaf and despicable, frankly. First we have the act of police br*tality made to seem ok because he was the suspect right? He was the guy? Yeah but newsflash: innocent until proven guilty and not by your fucking fists. Second we have a deliberate cover-up. Good lord you all think it’s not only okay to lie but then are mad you put you in that situation??? And the IG who’s investigating a legitimate case of br*tality is a villain??? And the director of NCIS is trying to help stall??? And then you’re MAD A BODY CAM CAUGHT IT ON FILM LIKE IT DIDNT DO EXACTLY WHAT IT SHOULD FUCKING DO????? Are you JOKING. This was the shittiest of shit tastes I’ve seen on this show. And if the point was to highlight the “bad” of police br*tality by god they fucked that up. Instead we get a happy, new dog-owner agent who’s only casually suspended because everyone and their brother decided it was okay to cover up a legitimate crime (no I don’t give a fuck that he did end up being the killer and yes I love animals. If you haven’t caught on I’m a damn veterinarian who took an oath to protect animal welfare & prevent and relieve animal suffering. I have personally seen and treated cases of neglect and recovering abused bait dogs. I’ve seen this shit first hand, daily for years and no I do not condone beating a man to a pulp- or death if Gibbs had gotten his way- over it. Do they deserve proper punishment? Absolutely. But I am not the judge, jury & executioner and I thought we fucking learned that on this show). So yeah, this blatant police br*tality and the entire way it was handled on this episode fills my mouth with bile. Trying to lessen it & “make it better” because of dogs is pathetic.

Sincerely, I hope this episode was attempting to poke holes in a messed up system. They missed the mark by a damn mile, but I hope that was the point. Because if it wasn’t, this shit should’ve been trashed the moment they shuttered the doors on season 17. It never needed to come to light and rear its ugly face.

Also, if you don’t like my rage post- great, you don’t have to. I’ve loved this show for 18 years and I will continue to enjoy it, but I am allowed to be critical of shit writing and if you try and debate me on this, it won’t be pretty. I’ll keep my opinions and you can keep yours.

[storiesofsvu]

OC/SVU season premier thoughts:

They really missed the ball on not using Rita as Wheatley’s attorney….

The fucking theme song SLAPS

THIS mother fucker (sg brewster) has guest starred on SVU like three times already…

Sg Bell is SO HOT WOW.

Can we talk about how they just jumped two months, shoved Elliot undercover, ignoring the fact that he NEEDS THERAPY, and like.. where’s Eli?

Wait… what happened to Angela?? Why is she all crippled?? I’m so confused.

🙄🙄🙄🙄 “ohhhh its 2021, we cant have police brutality anymore, lets put Elliot undercover so he can beat the shit out of people” ffs…

Ooohhkay! Here’s Eli! Honestly, its a fucking dick move for Elliot to up and leave, going undercover and leaving Eli basically alone(? Hopefully with maureen/kathleen) right After he lost his Mom & uprooted his life back to NYC from ITALY!! Jesus

LESBIANS

MORE LESBIANS!!! AND A BEBE!!! AHHH. Thank fuck nothing has happened to her wife (yet…😒)

OKAY ONTO SVU!!

We SERIOUSLY open up with a MAKEOUT SESH?!! Jesus. “Is this even real?” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 STOP.

“Sorry i’m late” YAY BRO CAUSE YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH AMANDA.

Why are they doing this entire flipping/deal making so LATE??!

He BARELY tapped her car how did it fly off like that??

“Nothing sadder than white people celebrating themselves.” 😂😂💀💀 fin… you’re killin me

I dont trust this chief…. He’s giving me Hank Abram vibes… he’s all “we’re concerned about garland’s prev relationship..” DUDE, SVU took down Garland’s bestie PASTOR, and he had NO problem, he kept his head down & did his job🙄

These fade to blacks are strange & weird…

WHAT IS WITH SVU AND OVERSIZED BLAZERS??!! Kat is tiny!! This blazer LOOKS LIKE IT BELONGS TO BUCHANAN.

Love Fin, gotta always watch out for his bestie.

“A waste of a good hotel room”

SONNY CARISI!! KEEP YOUR THIRSTING THOUGHTS WHILE YOURE NOT TRYING TO BUST A SEX RING 💀💀💀💀

I’m 90% sure that extra is someone i follow on tik tok?? (She’s an actor, she was in Moulin Rouge on broadway)

KELLI GIDDISH IS SO FUCKING PRETTY 🥵

WHY IS RITA NOT HERE??? Like… who TF are these defence attorney’s?? Where is Rita?? Where is Buchanan?? Where is Langan??? (Spoiler alert… they were supposed to all be on for the defense & it got axed…)

GOD poor Garland!!! Im so mad about this bs…

This is LAZY FUCKING WRITING. This is the gallagher case all over again. Im not even fucking kidding! The convo at the da’s office was the EXACT same. The politician who’s cleaning house, who’s all “scoff… im a politician… you cant do this” like… reread your old scripts before writing new ones. We couldve had three hours of Rita…

Amanda: can you… take a break? Sonny, PLEASE, she’s so fucking cute how can you say no??!!

This detective is gonna replace Kat, isnt he? Okay…. Maybe not… do we trust him?

This bastard just *snapped* at them & i lost ALL respect I had left for him.

NO!! NO!! I FUCKING KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO OUR BABY. FUCK. PLS LET HER LIVE.

OMG FIN THAT JOKE 😂😂💀💀

I UNDERSTAND there’s a lot of other shit going on, but EVERYONE was at the hospital for Mike, and NO ONE is there for Kat??!! Fucking bullshit…

CELINE AND KAT STILL DIDNT GET A LIP KISS??? WTF???

Who is the bitch with sonny? The new bureau cheif? *bring back casey*

Omg ROLLISI IS SO FUCKING CUTE OMG

FUCK KAT LEAVING. Like, yes, I get it canon wise & her being all ✌🏻but LORD.

Omg… rollisi is going to murder me…THEYRE SO CUTE OMG

“Real rapes”

EXCUSE ME??!! I KNEW I HATED

THIS ASSHAT

[beloved-femboyish-girl]

alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt

[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.

Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] -- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...

"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.

ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!

[NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.

Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain

[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.

ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine

ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!

see u 2morrow for the next ten!

men moaning/whimpering playlist rating

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE -- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE -- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten

[ashistrashhh]

here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2 

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea 

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know  that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka- 

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic?? 

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number. 

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!! 

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary: 

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times. 

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi. 

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana. 

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

[arlakos]

Marinette’s list of Parisian Warcrimes (Or why I need to vent about all the bad stuff Marinette has done)

Yeah, I’m doing this.

People be talking on Tumblr about why Marinette is the best character in the show and talking shit about every other character, from Adrien so I think I'll do what I do best and piss off people.

 You want another Adrien salt Fic about why he’s a stalker to validate your sensitivity to everything that triggers you?

 You want another AU where Chloe goes full-on villain and asshole mode so that you can be just another Astruc stan?

 Do you want another Lukanette fanfic because Luka is the ‘Better Adrien’ even though all he does is play a guitar?

TOO BAD! THIS TIME WE BE DOING SOME MARINETTE SALT AND WE GOING IN HARD! WE ARE GONNA BE RUNNING THIS BLUE HAIRED GIRL INTO THE GROUND THE SAME WAY THE FANDOM TREATED THE OTHER CHARACTERS!

THIS IS PAYBACK FOR ALL THE SALT FICS THAT HAVE BEEN FORCED TO SEE THAT DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO USE NATURAL LOGIC!

(And I'm gonna love every bit of it)

So without further ado, Marinette is sentenced to be salted on the following charges:

Having a planner that tracks Adrien's every location/activity so she can stalk him at all times and actively uses (Stormy Weather).

Using her powers to prevent Adrien from dancing with another person (yes, even if that person is Chloe) (Bubbler)

Stealing Adrien's phone (Copycat)

Reading other peoples letters, even if they did throw it in the garbage (Dark Cupid)

Abandoning Paris (Ladybug Origins) (Yes I know people are going to be angry at me especially for this one, but if Everyone gives shit for Chat Noir for doing the same thing in Syren, then Ladybug gets it as well. No double standards on this post)

Literally destroying Max’s hopes and dreams by beating him in a game entering a tournament just so that she could be with Adrien. I don’t care who was better in the game or won, Marinette had no prior interest in the tournament and even knew how much Max wanted to enter, yet still done it anyway the second she realized Adrien was there. Yeah, others will say its cute that she wanted to be with Adrien, but if she really wanted to spend time with him, all she had to do was, you know, ASK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!! (Gamer)

Ladybug not listening to advice on where the akuma is all because she didn't like Chloe. who made a small lie before to her. Yeah Ladybug, someone making a little lie to save themselves embarrassment is really valid enough of a reason for their opinion and advice to be worth nothing. And it caused another akuma, good for you. (Antibug)

Oooh, a big one...Marinette stalked Lila and Adrien pretty much all day, under the guise of ‘not liking liars’ (yeah right) and once she had a ‘valid’ excuse to pretty much ruin Lila’s chances of wooing Adrien (whether or not she had an actual chance is irrelevant) she transformed into Ladybug and ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSED HER AND HUMILIATED HER right in front of Adrien, when she could have just pulled her aside and just told her off in private and quietly so that she wouldn’t do it again. When Adrien questions her says she did it with the excuse of ‘not liking liars’. (Volpina)

Not telling Fu who the book belonged too when questioned on where she got it. I get that this was an excuse to prolong the shows run time, but if you were going to bring this up in the show and pretend that what Marinette did wasn’t a big deal, then they shouldn’t have added it in the first place. (The Collector)

Not bothering to tell her grandmother the truth and sneaking off to hang with her friends. (Befana)

Ladybug leading on Chat Noir. If she really didn't want to go, she could have just outright said No and be done with it, instead of just a ‘maybe’. (Glaciator)

Ladybug Literally not telling Chat Noir about the Guardian or where the hell all these heroes are coming from. There was literally no excuse, Adrien didn’t need to wait ‘until he was ready’, he literally became a hero the same time as Ladybug, it wasn’t like he was ‘the new guy’ and Ladybug was ‘the more experienced one’. I can give this to Fu as well, but I still feel that Ladybug should’ve told him regardless from the get go, she trusted a man she hadn’t properly met until 1 season later more than her own partner who stuck with her since day one. (Syren)

Taking pollen away from Chloe... yeah this really doesnt count. I just simply liked Chloe’s face in Malediktator when she saw Pollen again.

Talking shit about Chloe behind her back then acting all friendly to her as Ladybug when she needed her to become Queen Bee. Not really bad, it's just incredibly rude. (Maledictator)

Again, the same shit as Stormy Weather, instead of being punished for having the planner that details every bit of Adriens day to day activities, she gets rewarded by the writers. Not so much a Marinette crime as it is and ASS-truc crime. (Troublemaker)

Snooping through Marcs Private book, annoying him when he wanted to be isolated, and just straight up not having Marc give him the script himself. She could have tried just bringing Marc to Nathaniel and showing him the script together. (Reverser).

Making a lie about organizing a party when she definitely didn’t plan one. Yes, even if she was going to do it afterwards and planned to make the pastries herself for the party. She really is a hypocrite when she comes to lying, even though that’s a personality trait the writer's press is the reason why she hates Lila. (Season 2 Finale-Catalyst and Mayura).

Sabotaging Kagami’s attempts at being with Adrien. (Animaestro)

Marinette telling her Grandpa that rice bread is better than wheat bread. Anybody who has tasted bread would say otherwise. Although to be fair I blame Tom for this and this isn’t really as bad as the others (Bakerix)

Marinette throws Chat under the bus by pretending she loves him and leaving him to face Tom when the entire thing was her fault. I know she did it to protect her identity, but it still was an ass thing to do, and Chat found Marinette in her own house, Marinette could have used any excuse, including but not limited to, baked goods. (Weredad)

Marinette... LITERALLY... TRIED TO BREAK INTO ADRIEN’S HOME... ALL BECAUSE LILA WAS THERE...if the fireman was smarter than most other characters in the show he could’ve literally called the cops on her, leading to her getting arrested and Gabriel (or even Adrien) filing a restraining order against her. That and she steals Juleka’s bike. Not cool dude. (Oni-Chan)

Marinette not making it very clear to Chloe that she can’t get the miraculous back under any circumstances due to her exposed identity, especially after Chloe claims she’ll need them again. (Miraculer)

Marinette sneaks into the boy’s party despite wanting bro time, all because she wanted another botched attempt to confess to Adrien. (Party Crasher)

THAT CREEPY SCENE WITH THE ‘ADRIEN WAX STATUE’. I dont want to talk about it. You know which one I'm talking about. If you don’t, thank god, but IF YOU THINK THAT WAS CUTE IN ANY WAY OR THAT ITS ADRIEN FAULT BECAUSE HE STOOD STILL, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD CHECKED. (god i still have nightmares) (Puppeteer 2)

Not really a crime, but talking literally all the miraculi when you only needed a few. What would happen if she screwed up and Hawkmot got all the miraculous, or lost a few for the Akuma to obtain? (Kwamibuster)

Marinette (or Lady Noire) being an absolute dick to Misterbug during the entire time they were fighting Reflekdoll, insulting Misterbug for misusing his power when she does the same thing and claiming Misterbugs usual job is ‘easy’. Yeah...no. Fuck you Lady Noire, go eat a cataclysm to the face (Reflekdoll)

Marinette sabotaging Friendship day for Kagami just because she didnt want the latter to see Adrien.. at all. (Ikari Gozen)

Claiming Adrien is a good guitarist when Luka is an actual one. Not a crime, just dumb (Desperada)

Giving a Miraculous to Adrien when she can’t even control herself around him and could be distracted (Desperada)

Being too cute in that picture Marinette and Adrien sleeping together on the train. Yes i know this isn’t a crime, i do like some stuff about her, i just think the pic is really cute. (Startrain)

(Look at it, they’re adorkable. Awww....)

(Wait, aren’t I supposed to be salty?)

NOW, for the biggest crime of them all...

Literally not confessing to Adrien even once. Aside from the fact its turned the ‘romance part’ of the show into a joke, Marinette not telling Adrien the truth already or lying about her feelings is the reason we have the ‘Marinette is just a good friend meme’. No wonder he thinks you are ‘just a friend’. THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM. 

My evidence? EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!!!

...

Ahhhh. Much better.

Well, now that I have successfully gotten rid of all that anger and salt and manifested it into a physical memento of my anger for this show and its main character, I’m going to relax while people get mad and triggered that I insulted the ‘Perfect Marinette’ and leave me angry messages. For all those that listened and don’t hate me or even agree with what I have said, thanks for reading my large amount of vented writing. I hope you have a pleasant day.

Let's hope for season 4 of Miraculous to be better now that Zag is back. The fandom knows we don't need another salty season.

[yea-im-smokin-pot]

this is boring but...STARKID SHOW RANKING

12. ani: a parody

ok so lemme explain, i love every starkid show, and i love ani. but i feel like its one of those shows where its like, some things are kinda better than this, yknow? also jar jar binks is one of the best characters in this musical.

11. firebringer

i literally perform this all the time in my room, but i feel like the writing on this isnt the bEeeSt? idk honestly. i love the female representation and im gay for lauren lopez, but this musical is not my absolute favorite.

10. holy musical b@man

i absolutely love the costumes, and i really dont wanna put it this low but iDk this is hard as fuuuuck. the writing is amazing, and by that i mean THE PUNS AND JOKES. they literally made the calendar man call batman and robin “april fools” and he also said “get ready to MARCH into your deaths” like WHAT. also jeff blim’s acting and timing is absolutely perfect.

9. me and my dick

i...fucking love this show? its one of the funniest shows if you’re into sex humor. joey’s heart is one of the best characters and boy am i a lesbian for ms. cooter. i absolutely love the production quality, its worse than a very potter musical somehow. i love how the quality of it has “5th grade sex ed” vibes. yknow?

8. a very potter sequel

oh boy am i gonna get hated for this. a very potter sequel is usually the favorite among the trilogy. ok in the harry potter trilogy, its not my absolute favorite, and it doesnt give the same vibe yknow??? but as a starkid show itself its really funny and the choreography is spectacular. thank james tolbert for that.

7. a very potter senior year

bro this one just HITS DIFFERENT YKNOW? if you ignore the fact that they have scripts on stage and that it seems rushed, then its really beautiful. i was watching it last night and i heard senior year play and i started SOBBING. the fact that it was the end of the trilogy was so sad. also, avpsy was supposed to be the last starkid show which makes it even sadder. the songs in this show are just so much better. for example, tonight this school is mine, sidekick, i was. THEYRE ALL B O P S ! joey richter’s vocals improved soo much and he deserved that solo.

6. twisted

DYLAN FREAKING SAUNDERS, GET THIS MAN ON BROADWAY. i love the character and emotion he put into ja’far. if i believed gets me every time, a tearjerker if i do say so myself. joe walker as prince achmed was the best choice honestly, now he’s one of my dream roles. also, jeff blim’s aladdin???? GOLDEN. thst scene where you find out he murdered his parents and he goes through this whole dialogue between his other identity is hilarious. the comedy is beautiful.

5. black friday

i might get attacked for putting this at number 5. but still, KENDALL NICOLE YAKSHE IS A FUCKING BLESSING. she’s only 13 and shes already top notch at acting. and honestly, i love mariah, i do, but im glad she didnt play lex. i loved angela’s version of her. also, IM SO HAPPY WE FINALLY HAVE AN ALTO. I CAN ACTUALLY SING TO BLACK FRIDAY AND CALIFORM.I.A. also, KIM WHALEN!!!!! HER VOCALS IN TAKE ME BACK ARE FUCKING ASTONISHING. robert manion is a BLESSING and jeff blim looks sosososo happy in this.

4. a very potter musical

i fucking love this musical. draco? a dream role. voldemort? mood. the songs? amazing. hotel? trivago. no but honestly, the reason why i like this musical so much is the nostalgia. whenever i listen to it just tear up a bit yknow? also this musical got me into glee so 😗✌️. also i feel like snape (joe moses) is so under appreciated in all three musicals??? like he’s so fucking funny. the music in this show is so good. also, quirrellmort??? beautiful.

3. the guy who didnt like musicals

and now, the musical that got me into starkid, this mess. ah yes, it was a hot july day. i was performing in a play, but oh shit i had strep!!! so i missed our last dress rehearsal :( but if it wasnt for that, i probably wouldn’t even know what starkid is. i remember trying to watch this musical when it first came out, but for some reason i had a fear of jeff blim so i turned it off. but i watched it and was like “DAYUM” also, robert manion’s hip wiggles are really fucking hot for some reason. i found this musical really funny and im really into comedy. the opening number? golden. the ending is where its at though, INEVITABLE. jon matteson has a really nice voice. and mariah rose faith, A GODDESS!!!! i had been watching mariah’s (@linguinismansion) covers ever since i got into theatre. i loved her dead girl walking cover and her world burn cover. (and now shes in mean girls!! wooo!) im also 90% sure mariah is why im a lesbian so...thanks...i guess?? anyway i love this show and its chaotic cast

2. trail to oregon

you guys are probably very confused as to why this is second. I TOLD YALL I LIKED COMEDY. jeff blim’s writing is fucking amazing. the music? godly. cornwallis? sexy. for some reason when i first watched this i found jeff blim sexy??? dont ask??? but its really hilarious and it honestly is just my family taking a road trip. c h a o t i c. the son is my dream role and if i ever play him then i want my name to be onion. dont ask. but i love the plot and music so much. also joey richter’s constant quick changes in independence are impressive as fuck!!! also he’s so good at every role in this musical. 11/10

1. starship

this might be a shocker since i never talk about it or have never used it in any of my posts. but every time i watch this musical, i cry. i fucking love status quo and joey richter has come so far in singing and theatre. he’s honestly so fucking good. status quo is the best starkid song, there i said it. also, im such a fucking lesbian for taz. her spanish accent, wow im gay. and dont get me started on dylan, the arm structure that you need to hold up pincer’s puppet, damn. he had his arms up for like 12 minutes!!! kick it up a notch is one of the best villain songs in all of starkid. also, brian holden is just fucking...making me question my sexuality, i dont know why but junior is cute as shit. it might be the hair i dont know. starship needs more recognition in the starkid fandom. im not saying it’s underrated like how ani and me and my dick are, but its very rare that you hear that this show is someone’s favorite. this musical is so fucking good and the music is just mWa! s p e c t a c u l a r.

[martyrbat]

anyways verbatim my very toned review of arkham asylum a silly house on serious earth or whatever that got me called (more or less) a hater by a comic bro:

half a star purely for some interesting art at moments. it doesn't always work for the scene but i can appreciate someone doing something new and exciting in a medium dominated by predictability for capitalist value (and that the irony of grant not liking the art is more entertaining than the comic itself.) if this comic is good for anything it's because it made me curious to see if dave mckean has worked on an actual good comic

but in reading the actual comic and script, im stuck by morrison's inability to write a compelling story once again. they remain to believe that edgy means entertaining and that their heavy handed symbolism will somehow be considered deep by anyone older than 14. the frustrating thing is that i can see scraps of potential yet those fleeting moments aren't scavengeable as you progress through 128 pages of morrison jerking themself off. from whining about readers not understanding their symbolism to complaining about mckean's art repeatedly and blaming him for the lackluster plot not getting the praise they deemed it was worth.

however, if you ask me, any praise is more than what its worth. the motif of a 'living, hungry' house is something i adore usually and yet the excitement of a vast concept falls flat as i read the same beats repeatedly to the point that any symbolism that was good loses its spark and gets muddied as he piles more and more on top of it. morrison seems more focused on trying to prove they have the ability to be creative that they fail to actually do anything good with said creativity. the pacing of the comic is jarring, even without mckean's visuals to blame it on. some moments drag while others never linger when it would be most effective to do so. you can argue its to make a dissociating, dizzying effect as batman descends into the madhouse that is arkham asylum but having the unfortune of reading other morrison work—i know its not intentionally.

and batman—what to even say about him other than hes written entirely out of character!! again, i read the script and know as some points it was intentional but to write appropriate satire, you have to be aware of what youre mocking which morrison clearly doesn't. instead, they think theyre oh so clever in pointing behavior out in old comics while falling into the same hole that they seem to be ridiculing. i can understand dramatized behavior, especially with the implications of it being a dream instead of something actually happening—but in numerous nightmares bruce has had, he's never acted like this and they seem to imply this is the man he truly is underneath his cowled restraint and self willed control and that hes as 'bad' as the criminals he condemns without ever doing anything interesting with said criminals.

the patients of the asylum aren't treated empathetically nor cause any interesting confrontations with our hero as he stumbles down the asylum's corridor—instead their only purpose is for striking and sometimes bewildering character designs and script beats that are meant to make the reader disgusted. two dent unable to make a basic decision like to use the restroom didnt do it? how about clayface whos described by morrison as 'walking aids'? the book replies on gut reaction repulsion from the reader to cover-up for how tedious the book is—which makes the remark about morrison hating the art go from merely ironic to caustic.

the anniversary edition only includes a quick note by mckean about restoring the comic to how it was intentionally meant to be seen before it goes into a 66 page original script from morrison and finger pointing at mckean is disappointing. i was hoping for maybe some details on the art or talking about the unorthodox method he used in creating his work, but was, once again, disappointed. but the script does allow you to note some things that were altered (if you can manage to slug through it) includes but isn't limited to: a slight antisemitic remark that made it in the final cut, more exploitation of shamanism (which, historically, is associated with Indigenous and tribal societies)—and especially the way it corresponds with the repeated use of catholicism imagery to symbolize completeness or good. the odd bursts of misogyny and freudianism in the notes, weird moral panic esque tendencies involving sex and gender, and a repeated theme of characters crossdressing to signify their descend into insanity... morrison proves that they are the exact thing they place themselves above. its nearly fascinating to see someone so un-self aware but its mostly just really annoying when you remember what a piece of shit they are.

the idea that this is considered one of the greatest batman comics is bewildering and insulting to anyone who is familiar with the character or comics as a whole. i once again applaud anyone for trying something new but you can't use inventiveness to cover up for quality and lack thereof. recommend it for the art at the very most but otherwise it'll go down as yet another lackluster story from morrison and will hopefully one day be forgotten about along with the rest of their mediocre-at-best work.

do you know how shitty a comic has to be for me to go hang around my mother for a hour to calm down from being so mad

[smutav]

So i posted the pictures I had for my xray and comic in this post here and I said id wait a year but I’ve decided I need to lay this project to rest and move on to what comes next. Its under the cut because its mad king heavy

the old man part was fully scripted out so I’m going to throw the script in here first then it’ll be just notes for the general plotline

(M) Old Man   = O1 / (J) Old Man   = O2 / Xray          = X / Vav           = V

we come in on Xray and Vav coming onto the scene but we start lookin at the old men

O2: "Uh Oh, the calvaries here" O1: "issit the popo? tell them they cant make me go back... to that horrible home... fulla old people..." O2: "No.. its those spandex kids again" O1: "Oh, the blue one confused me... so blue jus like those dirty cops" O2: "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE" [O2 throws something that lands nowhere near xray and vav] V : "Look you have to stop causing a ruckus!" O1: "ah ah ah prettyboy we got da bomb" O2: "Thats right if you get in our way it'll be a real stinker!" O1: "Uh Ohhhh"

X : "you have got to be kidding me" O1: "I'm too old for kidding, im old-ding over here" V : "What are you doing with a bomb!?" O2: "We've got demands!" O1: "Oh yeah lots of demands!" O2: "We want.... Pudding!" O1: "Oh yeah and none of that rice shit in there" O2: "get that rice out of our pudding no chunks!" O1: "itsa chokin hazard, I almost died when they had that at the home" O2: "thats why we left they was tryna kill us" O1: "But you only show up to stop two guys havin fun" O2: "Ya punks!" [Vav has snuck over to the obviously hidden 'stink bomb' and gags when he sees whats under the cover]

O2: "Ey!" [he smacks Vav with a cane] "gettaway from there" O1: "These two have no manners" O2: "they jus go touchin stuff that doesnt belong to them!" O1: "Well two can play at that game" [he moves towards Xray pointing at his glasses] "I want those" X : "How about I give you this instead" [he shoots a lazer at the old guy but it bounces off his walker] O1: "uh oh you shouldn't have done that" X : "oh yeah what if i do it again" [it really has the same result smart guy]

[Vav at the same time is dealing with.. a really slow old guy. and he dodges a punch an the old guy just keeps goin down and hits the ground] O2: "Ah! I'm hit thats it for me! [he tries to get up but just knocks himself over again] it's over for me I'm deadd. You killed me ya bastard" V : "I really didn--" O2: "this blood is on your handssss ohhh im goinnnn" [Vav backs off while the old man keeps slowly 'dying' to help out with Xray who's wrestling for his glasses from O1]

X : "Youre smudging up my glasses!" O1: "oh i'll do more than that" [he moves to take a lick at them] X : "no you dont!" [He punches the old man square in the jaw] O1: [catches himself on the walker] "you want a boxing match, i used ta have the belt ya know" [he lands a punch on xray who doesnt even flinch]

V : [Vav comes up from behind and pulls the old man away] O1: "No he's got me!" [he flails a bit but ineffectively to get out] "this is just like the 40s you cant stop all this" V : "We're sending you both back to the old folks home just stay there this time!" O1: "You'll never keep us caged! We'll always be ba-- Oh no is this a heart attack? Ma is that you in the light I'm-- I'm comin... comin to kick your dead ass" [and he's dead]

[Xray and Vav dump the old guys on an elderly bus they're used to dealing with these guys 'dying' and approach the stink bomb which is the stink jug but theres wires and stuff attached to supposedly detonate it] X: "Well I guess we'll have to deal with this" [he kicks the 'stink bomb' and Vav goes green] V: "I guess it'd be best to get it to Hilda she'll know how to get rid of it" X: "right lets go" [he starts walking leaving Vav to carry the barrel, poor vav]

I hope the notes after this make sense plot wise a lot of it was going to be explored deeper as we get drawing XDD ((also you get all my note writing jokes that i make to myself))

V = xray and vav / K = mad king / R  = rimmy tim / M = mogar

(V) - I need,, some basic everyday hero biz to start the story with - tIME TO THROW THE OLD MEN IN THERE (K) - He decides to try out his powers a lil test run ((around Hilda's lab)) - Xray and Vav crash the party ofc - He gets by them EASY slow mo can't do much against teleporting - He didn't have much of a goal for it but, now he knows he has the upper hand on Xray and Vav - He leaves victorious (V) - He gets the business end of a run in with ender ryan - What was that?? he can teleport?? - Well we have to figure something out! (R) - Rimmy Tim runs into Mad King - Which is wild! thought he was dead! - but he does have some weird ass shit going on (K) - Wow running into Rimmy Tim isnt that neat? - He pays no mind to the Battle Buddy (R) - Rimmy Tim is crashing at Jake's place ((to be relevant)) - He also meets Xray and Vav but nobody knows what his full deal is ((and theyre distracted from having they ass kicked))

(V) - Vav is the plan guy - They get intel that he has a weird power source - it gave him the powers so if they can figure it out maybe they can take them away! - We'll need to be stealthy boys... - MOGAR! - ask mogar for help, he distract while they sneak in and nab the gem (M) - The plan involves Mogar fighting Mad King up front - Mogar runs into Rimmy Tim and is suspicious of him (K) - Ofc he knew Xray and Vav would make a plan - Mogar comes to fight him aw they just decided to send a fwiend - Mad King is busy beating Mogar and doesn't notice that they got the gem ((Uh Oh! Plothole!)) (M) - They dont see him at the meeting place (K) - He Notices when he decides to experiment with it and tries out a lesser power source - Resulting in Zombie Mogar

(V) - They HAVE to find Mogar - poking around the outside for a sign of him they find his sword in the dumpster - thats,,, not good - its really heavy but if vav straps it to his back he can handle it - they wind up splitting up for any sign of Mogar (K) - Well if you're going to be rude about it - [teleports in the streets] - Have it your way do what you want - [and he leaves Mogar there] - when he teleports back Rimmy Tim is there and he quips ab how convenient tping is (R) - MK has him get rid of the new power source obviously a failure (V) - It gets dark but vav hears a noise in the alley - He finds Mogar! But he's eating something - Mogar growls and starts running at him - *british screaming* - As he BOOKS IT around a corner Xray runs into him and Vav just grabs his arm - NO TIME TO EXPLAIN - so what the plans just fucking run - oh wait thats Jake's van - *climbs in* wEHAVE TO GO HIT THE GAS - bro its a red light - iTS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERES NO TRAFFIC JUST - Mogar jumps on the vAAAAAAAA - Thats enough to convince Jake she slams on the gas - " you guys are paying for any tickets i get"

((for context, Jake is my oc she has an ask blog that I was planning to use to be like in between she and rimmy tim are hanging out and you might find out things from interacting w her. But for character knowledge she’s an appliance installer that works with The Monarchy’s Servants. Which that is the company that installs the stuff that comes out of Monarch Labs. there was also a whole bit where she and rimmy tim would be hanging out and he’d be joking like oh do you ever go in like “ah m’lord!! is this installation to your liking thank you m’lord!!” and she’d goof back if he ever had a house for her to install shit in she’d do it just for him.

and for how Jake and Rimmy tim met it was at 3am dennys a few years ago and they been buds ever since))

(R) - Jake's checking on her van later and Rimmy Tim comes out to give a hand - and he asks what happened and she's shaking a lil - she just leaves it as hero biz as usual she thinks (V) - bloody hell we have to help mogar! - yeah what did Mad King do to him! - they gotta bait and catch him (R) - Jake gets a call from xray and vav asking for help getting mogar to a lab - Rimmy Tim tags along and gets to see Mogar (M) - Xray and Vav catch mogar and have him leashed in the lab - But?? Is he dangerous?? Can he contaminate others??

(R) - This is wrong - RYAN is wrong - Rimmy Tim,, Has to do something - discussion doesnt work, Ryan's just a wall discussion wise - theres no talking him out of anything he's too absorbed (V) - Mogar has good moments - reference the rotten flesh test w vav (K) - Rimmy Tim is getting increasingly worried ab him - Rimmy Tim mentions Mogar - Well it wasn't on PURPOSE - but yeah i did that - No, I don't particularly know how to reverse it (R) - Rimmy Tim tries talking hey what if we just did this partner like - Nothing can beat the battle buddies then this can all be done right? - Mad King brushes him off and tells him to stay out of his business - Ryan gets caught in the rain - He claws Rimmy's face oh no! his money maker! - Rimmy Tim decides enough is enough and leaves to help Xray and Vav fix this,,, fix him,,, (V) - They hear Mad King in the rain - hhhhh i dont want to deal with more monsterrrrssss - Rimmy Tim joins the team! - he explains his history with Mad King - and how he's worried - wORRIED LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MOGAR - He digs out the lesser power source that was used on Mogar - THIS made THAT *points at Mogar* (K) - Mad King is bandaged and goes to sleep off the pain and *emotions* (gross) of the evening - as he drifts off instead of dreaming he finds himself seeing through Jeremy's damaged eye - He just sees xray and vav but he cant hear a word - needless to say he feel betrayed

(Finale leadup)

- they need a plan to catch MK - Xray and Vav decide to drill RT ab possible weaknesses - he doesnt have much to contribute though they havent worked together in years and he didnt have all this magic junk going on. - and all RT's seen of the magic junk is teleporting - Well have you seen his hideout? can you explain like layout or whats going on there - oh fuck yeah i guess that is intel lemme sketch it out

- Hilda is playing around with whats the difference between the gem they stole from MK and the one that RT says changed Mogar - Mayhaps after some experimentation gone wrong she figures they cant use the thing against him but need a device that'll remove that specific energy - so you know a SUCKING machine - While she's working so closely with this she starts having enderhilda dreams but like when she's awake shes like yeah thats neat but you aint caught my interest you dumb gem

- Wait RT if you and MK used to be in cahoots do you have any powers that can beat him? - I got guns we were guns for hire you know battle buddies - wot MK doesnt use guns he plays mind games - well yeah NOW he does he uh-- didnt have it all together after our last mission

(flashback)

- Battle buddies are cleaning up after a mission - they're both pretty angry like we wound up being the bad guys AGAIN how does this keep happening - RT agrees he's not a fan of dirty cash - MK comes to the conclusion if i controlled these sheeple nobody would be calling my shots and makin me do the wrong thing - come on ryan ya cant control people thats wrong - whats a little more blood on my hands if it means making things better on the whole - and MK winds up leaving the battle buddies :C

(Finale)

- Hilda comes in like hey i got your guys's sucking machine go suck off mad king or whatever - and vavs like Alright! lets make a plan lads! - then we go to MK - he can see them coming, he's gotten practice watching through RT's eyes - he gets the machine from them as theyre barely through the door - "well I was curious what this would do but what does it matter anyways" - and he's got like some full ender shadow clones to help with the fight and they all pair off ((not like an army literally just enough to pair off MK dont need an army to beat these guys)) - the real MK personally faces off RT though :) - RT "why do i get the real ryan why couldnt you face off with like vav or something" - MK "im curious if you could shoot me 'buddy'" - RT "well I doubt i'll do something but i do owe you one ;)" and he do shoot him but yeah the bullets are stopped and do nothing - MK "I do hope you brought something else if youre turning against the MAD KING you have best be prepared" - RT "what can i say" [drops gun] "I stick to my guns" [throw punch]

- but yeah after the fighting and witty dialogue clears it looks like MK do have the upper hand - RT was left bleeding out ((stabbed through with pointy fingers oooo MK got his blood literally on his hands)) - While MK is monologuing RT sneaks into the bathroom which MK pauses mid monologue when he sees a flash of RT's bloody hand reaching for the showerhead - cant believe that fuck - and RT comes out and hoses him down ((yes it reaches that far LOOK its got a long hose)) - then MK's on the ground fucking sizzling - vav's like oh right! and jumps up to get the sucking machine and they use it on MK

(epilogue)

- Jake drops RT off where they got MK locked up and shes like "do what u gotta do man" and RT's like "thanks for understanding bud" - and he gets in MK shifts to look at him - RT starts to apologize for ruining his plan but gets interrupted as MK says "you were right" - which is a SHOCKING thing to hear from that guy - and mad king is like "thank you" - and we end on "anytime buddy."

so that was my plot I havent been kidding when I said it was a long comic plan. Its been heartbreaking to have this whole thing ripped from me but I can’t tell a story about friendship w a manipulator. 

I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I actually get another thing started but I hope its soon because I was very excited to share a good long story with the xray and vav fandom and I thought this plot wouldve been like a good season worth of content

I had some draws tagged under “#its all connected” and they were all me working on this idea before I actually decided to write it out and try for a whole comic after being inspired by some close friends and the good at being bad animation collab

[o-sharkpop-o]

super paper swap infodump ig

aristris is tired af. why? cause wiscara is in her room with al her girlfriends at 3 am blasting caramell dansin while doing sleepover stuff and watching scary movies and aquealing when the hot char is on tv.

how 1x1 and scriptliss met: everyone was freaking out cause there was a feral void creature and some people tried to shoot it (why it was feral in the first place) and scriptliss was the only one who knew how to deal with void creatures. so he went over there and tried to calm the void creature down. he then gave them a thing of stickynotes and a pen. instead of stabbing script with the pen, the creature just doodled on the floor and everyone was like "oh so it wasnt gonna bite our heads off?" while scriptliss yells at them all like a latina mother.

tess was a knight before getting jealous of 1x1. both 1x1 and tess have a crush on scriptliss in this au.

aristris is tess`s biological brother and they hang out alot.

rozanda and tucker were swapped so both tucker x aristris and wiscara x rozanda could be cannon.

antagon is usually at his moms bakery just writing, rewriting, or reading the plot book like a nerd. he a good baby,,,

antagon is always wearing a nightgown.

dueskkar is angey, he want book plot.

otempes fucking loves war and will cause it purely for fun

forgot the name of this music clown but he takes care of the big thing and just,, bro he loves it,, lay a finger on it and get BEAT

protag and aaron know something is up but aaron likes being important for once

protag interrupted the whole story by trying to choke aaron and then getting partially erased by antagon, who got the book back

tess became partially centipede at one point and got cured of it and post-story he is STILL unconscious

no, scriptliss isnt killed, the reason for this is that tess and scriptliss are two seperate people instead of 1x1 and tess, who were forcefully fused cause of the whole void star thing

incase you havent noticed, tess takes the place of 1x1 and scriptliss takes the place of tess in this au

aaron and protag are aware of what timeline/au they were in before this, cause of this, protag is clingy to tess post-story

aaron and protag arent from the swap au, but they ended up here after protag found a portal and aaron followed cause well- he was the narrator

dispite the main focus on the swap au, theres a very dark au hiding in the depths. after aaron and protag left, 1x1 came back and killed nearly everyone, keeping scriptliss alive for mental torture reason,, protag and aaron are unaware of this, aaron being happy cause hes important for once, and protag simping for tess

tess doesnt know why some half erased narrator ghost is simping for him but hes never had an admirer before so he accepts it

aaron tries to make protag feel important too but protag knows hes not needed anymore and is sad

protag and aaron dont know who made the portal or why, but protag has a theroy that this place didnt have a narrator or protagonist before, and antagon brought them there

there might be a sequel where scriptliss finds everyone and is ticked at protag and aaron for not being there and abandoning him while dueskkar is yelling at antagon for not considering the consequences of taking two random people from another fucking TIMELINE THING

sorry if this is confusing, but if yall have any questions im happy to awnser em

EDITS: fixed some spelling errors, added tags