#he didn't say much in this video but he looked good doing it

[stxxrlights]

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒! 𝐍𝐎!

headcanons of jjk men based on this ask

you placed all your skin care and make-up materials. you set up the camera all while your boyfriend was just staring at you. "what are you doing?"

"setting up the scene. i'm tryin' to record a short tiktok video"

"about what?", he asked his eyebrow raised.

"don't worry about it", you flashed him an innocent smile, trying hard to hide your actual intentions.

☆𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

"hello guys!", you clapped your hands enthusiastically with a big smile on your face. gojo's face also lit up,until...

"get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend", you said picking up one of the bottles. you instantly felt a looming presence behind you. he was staring into your soul with wide blue eyes.

"what's this about huh? we like making jokes now", he placed his hand on your shoulder causing you to shudder.

"it's just a silly little tiktok video, gojo-"

"gojo. damn. not even toru, baby, my blue eyed cupcake, you really are serious", he shook his head in defeat and it made you feel bad.

"toru, it was just a prank. i'm sorry"

"i knew it!", he pointed at you with a huge grin throwing you off. "you can't live a single day without my gorgeous ass", he ran his hand through his hair, a stupid smirk on his face. you narrowed your eyes at him clearly unimpressed.

"maybe i should get ready to break up with you"

☆𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

he was watching you like a hawk. just waiting for you to say something dumb. "get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend-"

"alright. enough of this shit", he said and grabbed the phone, which was still recording.

"suguru give me back my phone!"

"we can't keep doing this baby. i know you like the idea of getting under my skin, but enough is enough. we've been through so much together and you are not leaving me, neither am i going to leave you", he says and stands behind you and holds the camera up so that it's now recording the both of you.

he squishes your cheeks with one hand and then presses kisses all over you squished cheeks while you giggle at his antics. "if you do something like this again, no kisses for you, do you understand", you nod and he gives you a close-eyed smile.

"good girl"

☆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

nanami didn't really wanna bother you with any more questions. he kept on reading his newspaper as a mischievous smile spread across your lips.

"hi~ get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend", at that he looked at you his brows furrowed.

"boyfriend?", he placed the newspaper down.

"yes, boyfriend", you reply, feigning innocence. "anyways guys-"

"sweetie, we're married", he takes off his glasses and places them on the table.

"i know"

"then what do you mean by boyfriend", he crosses his arms over his chest, his brow raised at you his expression turning serious. you started feeling nervous, but you were not gonna back doen.

"boyfriend as in boyfriend. doesn't really have more of a meaning to it-"

"mmm... when did my rank lower? hmmm...?", he stood up and walked towards you. you gulped when he leaned down his face now mere inches away from yours. "you're my wife and i'm your husband, okay darling. i will remind you of that fact always", he places a lingering kiss on your lips. "meet me in the bedroom. i miss my wife"

☆𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

you was sat out of frame just scrolling on his phone when such disgusting words came out of your mouth. "get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend"

you turned as you say his expression dramatically change, his mouth wide open in absolute horror. then he closed it and his jaw clenched as his eyes narrowed at you. "what did you say, baby girl?", he asked now standing, his height imposing.

"like i said don't worry about it", you shrugged him off trying to stiffle a laugh.

"something funny to you, mama?", he crossed his arms over his chest.

"no why would you think that?", you asked your hand over your mouth not making eye contact with him.

"kids these days ain't got no manners. what wanna be rapper caught your eye, hmmm?"

"lol, what?"

"does that sound delusional? almost as delusional as you breaking up with me.", he said and got back to his phone.

" un-fucking-believable"

☆𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍

"what's the point of all this?", he asked, his signature scowl on his face as he analyzes the products on the table.

"it's all just for fun", you reply and he continues examining the products.

"hey~ get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend"

"hate to be that guy", he scoffed and let out a laugh which threw you off guard.

"what the hell are you talking about?"

"you're gonna end things with your side home. good to know you finally realized i'm should be the one and only". you blinked at him, unable to believe what you were hearing.

"kuna, you're my boyfriend. i don't have any side hoes", he looked at you, his scowl deeper.

"you sure have big balls woman. you think i'll believe that you wanna break up with me. have you seen me? i make perfection feel insecure", you rolled your eyes at him.

"this isn't fun anymore", you stop recording and he smirks at this.

"now come here and give me a kiss, as a proper apology"

"you're such an ass", you get out of your chair and go to hug him.

"i know"

☆𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

he was just lazily laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. he was calm, no thoughts in his head, until he heard what you had just said. "get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend", you waved at the camera all cutely and he sat up quickly looking at the back of your head in confusion.

"what?", he asked and you turned around in your chair to look at him.

"what?"

"what did you just say?", he narrowed his eyebrows at you.

"get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend?"

"mmm...", he shook his head. "nobody is doing anything today. what kind of idea even is this? you're on your phone too damn much"

"choso-"

"no. i don't wanna hear it. now come here and lay down with me", he outstretched his arms out but you ignored him turning back to the camera.

"anyways, before i was so rudely interrupted...", he sucks his teeth and gets up and grabs your phone and stops the recording.

"choso-"

"shhhh! you'll get it once we're done cuddling. which will be never"

comments and reblogs are appreciated.

[rosiewitchescottage]

When portraying the character as a 'Strong Female Character' becomes more important than giving her character and personality, then yes. We're not going to connect with her.

The perfect example that I can think of is the contrast between animated Mulan and live action Mulan.

Animated Mulan achieves some amazing feats, she saves China, for goodness sake.

And yet, she doesn't lose her vulnerability, she has to work hard to get to where she needs to be.

And we love her, because she's real! Of course she doesn't get into the army and can do everything the same way as the men.

Clearly she's got some serious potential, waiting to be let out. But she hasn't got the same bodily strength and speed as her fellow soldiers.

She has to put in extra time and effort, which pays off in buckets.

There's something of Joan of Arc to be seen in Mulan. I remember watching a video about the French National Saint, and it was speculated that she probably didn't do much of the hand to hand fighting, but there's good reason to believe that she had very good leadership skills.

She lead her men in battle and they were inspired to follow her.

And we see that with Mulan, she's a soldier, not an officer, but once her comrades realise that the woman Mulan is still the same person as the man Ping, they listen to her, and realise that her ideas have the makings of success.

She doesn't lose any of this by having her love story with Shang. In fact they have a fascinating journey together, as Shang learns to love the woman that he grew to like and respect when she was pretending to be a man. He learns why she did it, and he respects that family loyalty. He realises that it's all the same person in the end.

And he's proud to be able to say that his wife saved China!

Contrast to live action Mulan. What can we say about her? She's got super powers so of course she can already whoop every ass in her way.

No coconut for guessing which is the more satisfying character to watch. 🙄

With animated Snow White we get the strength of her pure heart. All she wishes for is to be loved and spoken to kindly.

The animals aren't afraid of her, because they know there's no cruelty in her.

The dwarves are happy to give her a home because she's willing to give back to them by keeping house.

My theory about The Prince is that there had to be something extra special about this girl for him to keep looking for her.

In his world beautiful girls who can sing will be plentiful.

If Snow White was just a pretty servant that he wanted to have fun with, why go all out to find her again?

Cinderella (both animated and live action) shows the power of never giving into bitterness. She keeps believing in the power of dreams and she loves, despite the only kindness that she gets is from her animal friends.

Animated Belle loves her father and when the condition of her father's freedom is for her to remain with The Beast, she does it, even though it breaks her heart. Loyalty and Honour.

And she's determined to make the best of the situation. She gets to know the castle. She takes the time to get to know The Beast, and as she's showing interest in him, it makes him want to know and care about her.

The more "empowered" Disney tries to write their heroines as, the less interesting and charismatic they become, ironically.

[mahowaga]

it's late again.

you're half-asleep, bundled under your comforter, the soft glow of your phone screen lighting up the darkened bedroom. and—like clockwork— his name appears.

HIROMI - video call incoming

you smile sleepily, thumb hovering over Decline, just to tease him. you never press it. not once. not with him.

instead, you answer, your face sleepy and warm from the blankets. "hi, hiromi."

there's a moment of silence on his end. just his face, soft in the dim light of wherever he is—his living room, probably. the corner lamp's glow catching the obsidian of his hair, casting half his face in shadow. his eyes sweep over you, quiet.

"you're already in bed," he says, voice low, a hint of a smile curling the corner of his mouth.

"you always call this late," you yawn, shifting a little so the blanket hugs your shoulders snugly. "why do you always video call me right when i'm about to sleep?"

hiromi's silent again. you catch the way his eyes dart away—almost like he wasn't expecting you to ask. as if he thought you already knew.

"i—" he clears his throat, looking away for a second. "i wasn't sure if you noticed."

"of course i noticed," you mumble, smiling lazily. "you're like clockwork."

his lips press together, the corners twitching a little. then, finally, he exhales slowly. "i—i like hearing your voice. when you're tired like this."

your sleep-adled brain processes this slowly, blinking as you stare at him. "huh?"

"you sound different at night," he admits, voice soft—almost shy. "softer, like you're... here. close. not miles away."

you don't know what to say to that. your heart skips a little, you think. no one's ever said something like that to you before—so simple, yet so quietly vulnerable.

"and," he adds, after a pause, "you look pretty like this."

that wakes you up just a little. "what?"

"you do," he says, firmer this time. "your face is relaxed. no makeup. sleepy. i don't know." he shakes his head slightly, glancing down. "you're pretty. i like seeing you like this. it feels, hm. it feels honest."

you stare at him, the soft smile pulling at your lips now impossible to fight. "hiromi—"

he looks up, like he's bracing for you to tease him—but you don't. you can't.

you shift closer to the screen instead, resting your cheek against your pillow. "that's really sweet."

"you think so?" he asks, voice soft.

"i do." you pause. "you could've just told me, you know."

"i didn't want to make you self-conscious," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "you might've stopped answering."

"i wouldn't," you murmur. "i'm still here, see? and i like it when you call."

something flashes across his face—relief, maybe. or something much warmer.

"good," he says, settling back against his couch. "because i don't think i can ever stop."

the two of you fall into an easy silence after that—his breathing slow, steady in your ear, your own eyelids drooping. you don't hang up. you never do.

he stays with you until you're asleep, and maybe—just maybe—that's exactly why he calls.

because it's not just your voice. or your face. it's knowing he's the last thing you hear before sleep takes you. and somehow, that's enough to make him feel like home.

[dnpblogcuzican]

An Open Letter to Dan and Phil From One of Your Many Lesbians

With the digital release of TIT and a rebrand on the horizon I felt the pull to get a bit sappy about this era of dan and phil. I've been watching them for 11ish years and this past year has been the most meaningful to me as I've been traversing the good and the bad of being out to my family. This is also kinda an open letter to dan and phil, they talk about their pride in their impact on us in the past, but this era is remarkably different from the past and it comes with its own new and growing impacts. To me at least, more meaningful impacts because they have finally been able to be their true authentic selves and share it with us on purpose, happily.

Its long but I think its worth it. So if you want a little lesbian trauma (nothing graphic) and how dan and phil have impacted me as a happy older gay couple to look at as models for the future, feel free to keep reading :)

Alright here we go.

The narrative in my house was queerness is not accepted, it is tolerated. It wasn't brought up much, but this was said to me directly. My parents had known gay people, had a distant gay friend here or there. I know in my parents' minds these people's queerness was separated from their character. Hes gay, but hes such a nice guy, so I guess its okay, not my life after all.

For most of my adolescence I identified as bisexual, attempting to come out to my parents around 13 only to have them walk me back to the closet, labeling me confused (classic).

Around 21 I had started identifying as a lesbian. Slowly realizing how suppressed I was. Realizing all the sex I had with my ex-boyfriend didn't feel right because, while it was consensual, I didn't know that I didn't actually want to have it. It was an exchange to me, I get an orgasm, you get an orgasm, done. I didn't know what it felt like to want to have sex, to actually be attracted to someone. I had locked it away unconsciously. It didn't help that everyone says straight sex for women isn't great, I thought because I was getting off it must be fine. Everything was fine on paper, what could be wrong? Recently I realized I was never in love in that 3 year relationship. My only relationship. I realized, uh oh, I've never been in love at all.

When I pictured the future I always pictured myself alone, I thought it was because I was a Strong Independent Woman. I didn't need romantic love, I felt fine without a man by my side. All I needed was my friends, myself, a cat, and a garden. It felt like a gut punch to realize oh my god I do want a partner, I want a wife. Even though mentally I knew it was 'okay to be gay' and I acknowledged part of my attraction to women, internalized homophobia and heteronormativity made it so I never truly considered that life for myself. So when the realization hit that life with a woman was in fact the only fulfilling life for me, it was scary and it was freeing.

So what about dan and phil?

Dan and Phil are the only gay couple that I have ever felt any real connection to. When they came back from the dead I was obsessed in a way I was not before. I'd been watching most of phil's videos through the hiatus and they were two of my favorite youtubers among the many I watched back in the day. But I didn't run a side blog dedicated to them, I didn't check the tag almost everyday like I do now.

Back in the day they were funny guys who I thought were probably dating on the DL. But now, now they are queer adults who model what a wonderful, happy life as a gay couple looks like. I have never had that. I still don't besides them. Not in real life, not online, not in celebrities, not in media.

One of the reasons I never pictured my life with a woman was because I had never known what it could look like, not really. I had no one to hold my hand and say "oh my god its amazing, let me show you". When I pictured getting married I thought about how the man I married would always love me more than I loved him. I unwittingly dug a grave for my ability to fall head over heels in love, like it just wasn't in the cards for me. Mind you I have been surrounded by queer friends since high school, but we were all figuring it out together, there was no one to show us the way. I know this was the case for most of us in the phandom, most queer people really. We need our queer elders where we can get them (rip to the twink status they're white knuckling, sorry guys)

Dan and Phil make videos celebrating their queerness and ours. They don't just say its okay to be gay, they shout at us that its fucking wonderful to be queer. And they do it casually, just by playing their games and chatting shit. They also do it in big ways, like with BIG and TIT, but casual has meant more to me. The everyday example is what I need right now, seeing something and realizing oh I could have that in my everyday life too. I want that for my life.

When dan off offhandedly said something to the aid of "life's better when you're out" in the Split Fiction video it stopped me in my tracks. Because of recent homophobia from my parents, I had the thought 'being out is worse'. I know its not true, but there was a shitty few weeks where it really felt that way.

Dan and Phil were the only thing that truly made me feel better because when I didn't have it in me to combat the homophobia, to picture how wonderful a queer life is in spite of all this bullshit, they were on my screen embodying queer joy. queer normalcy. Making me think its not fair and it sucks but its worth it because I am going to have that happiness one day.

They talk about the power of light entertainment in TIT. But the light entertainment of this current dan and phil era is more than just entertaining for so many of us. Its a road map. The bants, the domesticity, the flirting, the loving looks, the security, the love story. They have just barely given us the privilege to see it and already it says 'look at this, its not out of reach. Its real, and lovely, and boring, and fun. Its a life that you can have.'

It is completely different than before and I didn't realize how badly I needed it, especially as an out adult. I know they're working on bigger stuff, but I sincerely hope they do not underestimate how much the world just needs them as an example of happy queer couple having fun with their life. That's why its important for them to be out in the way they are. Its not about a hard launch, its not about speculation. Its about hope. Its about queer community. They know that.

So, dan and phil, if you happen to see this- thank you for letting us in. Thank you for making TIT and clearing the air. Thank you for creating something new with us this past year and a half. Thank you for proudly taking on the role of our gay dads. I hope you guys enjoy seeing your newest impact. I am excited to watch you grown and learn as we all do the same.

[irrealisms]

#alwayssss thinking about season 4#hey Will how long till zam mis says “vitality” as “vitalasy” ?#<- prev#life stealers give me context zams my new microwave victim and I'd love context to his angst (tags from @ultra-raging-ghost)

hiiiii yes ok i am a lifesteal fan who Specializes in zam and s4 and vitalazam. NOTE FOR LIFESTEAL FANS: this is gonna be super simplified and condensed sometimes to the point of mild inaccuracy, please don't come at me, i just want this to be reasonably short. NOTE FOR REALM FANS: please spread this i love talking about zam and she doesn't always like talking about lifesteal s4 but it's such important context for literally everything she does. imo.

so! when talking to badboyhalo, zam mentioned that she Doesn't Do Betrayals. this is.... largely because of how s4 of lifesteal went. during s4, zam betrayed or otherwise let down almost every other person on the server at some point (including pangi, but that's a story for another time). the betrayal with the most fallout was vitalasy/eclipse federation. after weeks of trying to compromise (zam was morally opposed to exploits and exploiting whereas vitalasy had a huge season-spanning plan involving exploits), zam discovered that vitalasy was hiding the extent of the exploits and ended up killing and betraying vitalasy. vitalasy....went back and forth quite a bit on how he responded to this. there were a lot of very long very intense arguments ingame. due to vitalasy's exploits, he could do creative-mode flying, and he could kill people with a punch rather than needing a weapon; he sometimes utilized this, both against zam and to spawnkill one of zam's new teammates. ultimately, though, vitalasy didn't want to hurt people and felt incredibly guilty and unhappy about people finding him scary or dangerous; he wasn't able to take zam's anger and fear and the anger and fear of the rest of the server, and he got IRL upset, started crying, killed himself in-game until he was banned off lifesteal, and took a break from minecraft altogether. (they're fine IRL and have been this whole time, and they had a beautiful in-game reconciliation last december where they talked about it, but s4 was. painful for a lot of people at the time.)

and after talking to badboyhalo, zam explicitly drew this comparison!

also, bonus fact, along with being a PG (...well, PG-13) streamer who used to "language!" zam, vitalasy's skin looks like this:

as previously mentioned this is absolutely an oversimplification tbh but there's A Lot and i don't want to overwhelm. if you want more, you can ask me, you can check out myrmica's season 4 vod directory, or if you're up to watch edited videos but not a vod, here's vitalasy's edited video of the betrayal through banning himself & zam's edited video of pre-betrayal through end of server. warning that the edited videos are very biased and have a lot of post hoc narrativization or outright lying/omitting things; they're a good starting point for getting the general idea of what went down, the feelings and people involved, etc, but they should not be taken as the full truth. also both the vod directory and zam's video have pangi if that sweetens the pot at all! the vod directory is much more accurate and in-depth but it's also long, the vods it links are longer, and i don't remember if it assumes some level of preexisting familiarity with lifesteal s4 and the people who play on it. and, again, feel free to ask if you have any questions or want lifesteal context on anything zam or pangi do, i was DELIGHTED to see these tags bc i love talking about my guys :D

Zam: you'd be more likeable if you didn't tell people youre holding back the urge to kill them!!!! Bad, sadly: okay.... that's what people tell me all the time, I share my thoughts with them and they say bad you're scary :(( Zam: I'm not falling for this guilt trip! Bad: [sits with his head down] its okay... I'm used to it... :(( Zam: ...... I'm falling for the guilt trip. Bad: its okay you don't need to :( Zam: he looks so small, this is a completely different person.

[xlovz]

🖤

[mc-critical]

Hatice and Ibrahim have never been more divided from each other up to that point than in E43-E44. While Hatice always sensed when Ibrahim was actually in danger or she's lost him in any way (i.e. E35 when she felt something in Edirne while Ibrahim was with Nigar), nothing came up when he was shot; he didn't even tell her what happened to him until she found out herself; they were seperated while he was recovering; the wait for Ibrahim to come back felt like an eternity to Hatice and she went through several breakdowns at once (and his carriage was right in front of her but she couldn't see him, her only thought until the very end was that he was dead, isn't that what her dream with the "crying" statues meant?); when he came back she wasn't allowed to spend at least some time alone with him as SS wanted to talk to him; even their sleep was interrupted. The only thing that Ibrahim asked Hatice to do was to play him his mother's song on the violin (I like to think that Hatice started learning the violin in order to become closer to him, to who he is, to his past again after what they went through with little Mehmet).... but he no longer associates even that with Hatice anymore.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

so there's this character. i always thought he looked kinda stupid and i never found him attractive. but, uh....

... has he always been this handsome?!

[ourstochoose9]

I made this account while hyperfixated on Markiplier. And my favorite character in "Who Killed Markiplier" is Damien the Mayor, who in the videos said "Life is ours to choose."

USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL

[k6tzie]

COD P☆RN LINKS | PT. 3

ghost: always so quiet and reserved, seeing you like this is refreshing. so humane having ur guts rearranged after doubting your lieutenants skills! dove, you're so needy. but luckily for you, you have a patient, big bf came back from prices' baby shower now u and si want a baby of ur own, but u can't wait:( doughy ass bouncing on his long cock that no one's sucked in over a year, thankfully now ur here! sharing the captains daughter with soap<3 trusting is hard for him, so once he has you, he doesn't wanna let go warm winter fuck with ur gentle boy price: once you taught olderbf!price how to make hotter videos, he thinks he's so much cooler but that old man lives within him💔i mean look how he's holding the phone! you feel a big, throbbing thing in your tummy, hopefully he doesn't press down on it D: when u took him to meet ur parents, you just looked too good not to fuck afterwards :( as much as he loves his quiet girls, he can't say no to a bubbly one night stand now can he he didn't wanna have to do this but this IS what bad girls get... dadsfriend!price taking you upstairs during the bbq. there's so many people so no one will hopefully notice ur gone... soap: totally something soap would do, fucking you levitating 😭 first time having a crush this intense, taking sneaky photos of you, drawing you in his sketchbook, leaving you little gifts anonymously - now that you gave him a chance, he's too shocked to even do anything! honestly his dream is hot gf x loser guy he's a messy boy who likes his sex quick! so so much cum dripping out, it's like your boys' in heaven filthy gym partner can't keep his hands to himself only one person can eat you this well when you're sick, soap! gaz: your drunk sex was so good, you won't forget it even when you're sober <3 appreciating that pussy with the love and tongue it deserves so wet and tight like ur ex boyfriend did nothing at all smh, must've been tiny deeeeep in ur gfs womb! pretty boy barely ever gets angry, but when price has been on his back the whole week, and now you're giving him attitude - he can't take it anymore! hot belly bulge - who would've thought from the serene, goofy guy? graves: ah, so THAT'S how you passed recruitment i see, interesting... what a baby, never been with a real woman. actually a very soft, sensual man. don't mistake him as rough cuz of how he acts at work lucky shadow of the week gets to record the barracks bunny and graves kept trying to draw milk out of you but he didn't realise not everyone just...lactates :(he can't stop rewatching this video y'all took, how your greedy pussy just swallows his dick whole :o purposely just teasing you so he can see u angry konig: an efficient way to wake up his beautiful baby✨ his cold tongue and your warm socks make an interesting contrast🤔 he caught you masturbating all by yourself and you didn't seem to reach ur full potential :( loser!konig coded, once he finally gets his rough hands on you, it's hard letting a beauty like you go ruined ur cute little panties smh, greedy big boy mean colonel punishing his secret fuck buddy after he found out you've started talking to another person💢 bonus!!: surprise ;)

@xtrrdnrypotato @livingdead-g1rl

[fragmentedblade]

I hate that when I look up the "Kalpas" tag here there's me and then there's me again, but on another blog. Fake moustache me

[fushitoru]

ranking types of hugs he'd be comfortable with another guy giving his gf! a gojo satoru fic/drabble

cw: gojo x reader, established relationship, fluff LOLLL, gojo being a pathetic loser for his gf, use of baby, babe, reader referred to as gf and wears makeup, gojo being jealous, crack, based off this (instagram link)

"Ranking types of hugs I'd be comfortable with another guy giving my girlfriend." Satoru squints at the scene, reading out the caption on the TikTok as he watches the guy on the screen, long ass spider legs laid out on the couch while waiting for you to get ready. Curiously, he clicks on the filter without fully watching the video and starts filming to generate the different types of hugs.

"A back hug." The curious smile on his face slowly fades away as a grimace takes place as he gains the thousand yard stare. "Nine. Okay, not at a good start so far—"

He groans, face scrunching in pain as he exhales out at what he sees on the screen: slow dance hug. Then, he imagines you, a man's hand on your waist and you smiling just like those stupid fucking drawings at someone who's not him—"Ten. Oh my fucking god."

Clutching the lower half of his face, he looks concentrated as he waits for the shuffler to give him some less painful option, groaning in pain once again, looking back at the scene, and then groaning again. "One armed hug," he strains out, blindly reaching for the lowest number he could rank it as.

The filter shuffles yet again, and he's almost in tears, groaning immediately on instinct but then doubling back at his screen. "Polite hug." He contemplates it. "Okay, a two, not so bad, not so—"

A pause. "A classic hug." He stares at the screen like it just betrayed him, until he decides it's not so bad. Reluctantly, he ranks it at three.

Then, he waits for the filter to give him another painful vision, and it delivers. "A slow catcher hug—oh my godddd." Satoru is shaking his head, eyes teary as he groans loudly at the though of you jumping up to another man, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him in for a hug. If someone was listening to him, it would seem like he was dying with the way he was covering his mouth, shaking his head, and exclaiming "what the fuck"'s as he stared at his phone screen in sheer shock.

Unfortunately for you, you were within earshot, blending in your blush and doing finishing touches as you heard Satoru's shrieks coming in from the living room. He seemed to be on the edge of tears, and worriedly, you set down your brush and rushed to where his sobs were coming from.

And there he was: in fetal position, phone on the floor as he shook his head as if in shock. "Baby," you hurried to him, grabbing his face so you could figure out what was making him so distressed.

He didn't seem to be injured as he meets your eyes, upset. "I can't do this bruh," he laments while turning to be on his back and rubbing his eyes. You just look at him confused.

"Do what?"

He turns, and pauses. Scans you in your champagne dress for the fancy place he was taking you and the way you did your makeup so sultry. It's just for him, but after the events of that Tiktok—that's now stopped filming—all he feels is petty jealousy because other guys can see you like this.

Out of nowhere, he declares, "I can fight."

You blink. "What?"

"I can fight," he repeats, nodding emphatically as if trying to convince himself. Then, after a beat: "Why do I have such a pretty girlfriend?" He groans again, throwing his arm over his eyes. "Baby, why do you look so good right now?"

While he does this, you inspect him for any signs of injuries or things that could've caused him this much distress. Finding none and used to his theatrics, you sigh and pat his cheek. "I’m going to finish getting ready," you say, deciding he’s not in mortal peril after all.

As you return to your vanity, Satoru calls after you, still sulking. "Just so you know, I ranked the polite hug at two. Because I love you. And I can fight."

"Good to know, Satoru."

a/n lowk spiderman!gojo coded. i love writing fluff i would lowk want to write this for nanami i feel like he would slowly grow more and more jealous LMAOAO

[luludeluluramblings]

The Tape

Reader and Conner’s sex tape gets leaked…

Based on this…

Warning: Fem!Reader, NSFW themes, no actual smut, pure crack nonsense, fake Twitter post

A/N: @fanfictionlover277353 Heard you wanted some more! Here’s some of my nonsense!

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

"Come on, Babs. Please. I'm begging. Just for a few hours. Two tops." Dick's whining could be heard through out the entire cave. The vibrato of his voice echoing off the rocky walls and stalagmites as he leaned over Barbara's shoulder and played with her hair.

She was currently sitting at the Bat Computer, looking over anything related to the family or incidents in Gotham with strained eyes and an exasperated look on her face.

"I told you, I'm busy-"

"You need a break." Dick interrupted, playing the hypocrite with a grin. "Come on, two hours. We'll watch a movie, you can even pick. No sappy Rom-coms, anything you want. All your choice." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Admittedly, Barbara was tempted, but she let out an indulgent sigh.

"Fine. I'll set up notifications to alert me if anything that needs to get scrub gets posted." She quickly type out a few things on to the computer, having it connected to her phone before Dick whisked her off with way too much excitement.

It was a simple notification system. One that would alert her if anyone's vigilantes identities were mentioned in the media. Unfortunately, it wasn't set up to alert her if anyone's civilian identities were mentioned. That included the family's only civilian member as well.

And, a lot can happen in two hours with the power of the internet and a very interesting topic.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You were having a good day. A very nice day. You had gone out into the world, enjoying the sights and sounds of a mid-morning Gotham. Ignoring the wailing sirens in the distance, by now you had grown used to it.

Dick, Babs, and Alfred where in the manor doing either Bat stuff or sleeping. Damian was visiting Jon. Duke was on patrol. Cass was at dance practice. Bruce was at the Watchtower. Tim was at the Wayne office. Stephanie was your chaperone (stalker) of the day. And, Jason was fuck who knows where.

A peaceful, calm day.

Until you got a Twitter notification and you realized...

"Oh, that's not good. That is really not good." You mutter, watching as the internet burns while you drink your coffee. Not like you could do much else. You still sent a quick text to Conner, just to prepare him while you mentally packed.

You warned him when he suggested filming the two of you making love in the Wayne manor parlor right in front of the fireplace.

You had suggested you’d both go to the mountains and fuck in the wild, but he just had to be kinky and want to do it in the manor. Better lighting he said.

If it wasn’t for the fact that it had been your anniversary and he had pulled out all the stops, you would’ve said no. (It doesn’t matter that he had you literally crying from the pleasure when the two of you had finally finished filming. Nope. Not at all.)

However, that mountain sex might still be on the table. You didn't want to be around when the rest of the family saw that video, so a remote location in the mountains sounded like a decent idea. You’d been wanting to runaway from the manor for a while anyway.

“Hey, Steph, hand me your phone real quick…” Best to probably by yourself some time.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Conner had a tendency to mute his notification on all his socials. Not that he didn't look at what people tagged him in or mentioned him in. He just find it easier to manage.

So when he got a text from you saying to check Twitter, he was a bit puzzled. But, he figured you had seen him tagged in something funny and wanted him to see it too.

Only for the record in his head to scratch when he realized what he had been tagged in.

"SHIT! Shit, shit, shit, shit." Could he get off planet fast enough? This was bad. Not the video. That was good. He may have thrown extra fuel on the fire by liking it and retweeting it on to his official account, but, damn it, was he proud of that. Probably shouldn’t have hired that rando to edit it for him though.

But, yeah, he was about to possibly be the only man ever murdered in cold blood by Batman. It was one thing to fuck his civilian daughter, but filming it in the man’s own home? Yeah, the kryptonite was definitely coming out and getting stabbed into his skull.

"JON! Distract Damian!" Conner yelled out before taking off, knowing that Jon's super hearing would pick up it up. Best get to Gotham and grab you before Batman came after his ass.

There was a nice planet a few solar systems over that you two could have some fun on. Maybe if he was lucky, you could visit that spot in front of the fireplace on last time. He doubted the two of you would get another chance to do it there again.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Jason had actually been at Roy’s that day, having finished some Outlaw business from the night before. Only to be interrupted when Roy suddenly choked on his drink and sprayed it all over him from across the table. Soaking Jason and the papers on said table.

“What the fuck?” He muttered in disgust whipping the dripping liquid off him.

Roy, however, was still choking. Wheezing as he clutched his phone like it was the most precious thing in existence.

“Nothing! Nothing!” Instantly, Roy was trying to back the video up the Cloud and his back up phone. He’s paid for porn with less quality than this and he was not wasting this opportunity before it was scrubbed from the internet.

“Let me see that.” Jason pushed the table and slammed it into Roy’s gut, causing the phone to clatter on to it. A video silently playing on the screen.

A video of two people in a fancy parlor. Doing very intimate things.

Two people Jason knew. In a fancy parlor that Jason knew.

A parlor that Jason had literally sat in three days ago watching the fire in the exact same fireplace.

“Did you fucking save this, asshole?”

“Dude, that is ART!”

��️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Back in the BatCave Alfred had come down to tidy up after resting a bit only to look at the screen in horror. Despite his many skills, socially media escaped him at times.

However he did manage to learn one thing…

“That was what was on my bloody carpet?!”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Tim had been in his office, going over a couple charts when his secretary burst into the room. Stumbling and falling on the floor panting. One of her heels broken.

Normally she was a serious and composed woman, not tolerating any nonsense from him. So this behavior was unexpected and worrisome.

Tim rushed to stand up at help her when she suddenly blurted out, “Leaked sex tape!”

That made him panic. Before confusion hit him.

“Wait, did I film on of those? I don’t remember filming one of those-“

“Your sister! Superboy! PR is going fucking nuts and getting calls. Share prices are fucking increasing because of this!”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

The Justice League Watchtower was in a meeting. Quite a long one judging by the way most of it’s members sitting around the table seemed to be drifting off or subtly scrolling their phones.

Oliver Queen, Green Arrow was one of those people scrolling. Checking over twitter, catching up on the latest gossip. Only to nearly fucking scream in the middle of the meeting when he realized what Superboy had shared on his official account.

Forget man of steel, the kid has damn balls of steel.

Worst yet, the video had been posted for over an hour. A full hour. Almost two. There was no way that was going to be getting scrubbed and forgotten. He’d bet it was in a military archive already with a team of scientist documenting the half-Kryptonian’s dick size right now.

It was an impressively long video. One that Oliver was sorely tempted to watch. But, he didn’t because he knew Batman would actually rearrange his face if he did. Like fist and plastic surgery rearrange it.

So, when he heard Batman’s voice ring out in the meeting, he broke his phone in half to hide the evidence of his discovery.

Only, Batman hadn’t been calling for his attention. He was calling for Booster Gold’s.

“Booster, focus on the meeting. Put that away—“

It was amusing to see Booster get caught with his phone out watching him scramble to shut it off in a panic. Only for it to fall to the ground.

And, the sound to turn on at full volume.

Moans to fill the silent void of the room.

Oliver could only look on in horror when he realized just what Booster had been watching, during a Justice League meeting, and across the table from Batman himself.

“Conner, please, p-please, stop teasing.”

“No, I don’t think I will. You look so pretty like this. All nice and—“

No one moved. Not as they watched Batman literally work through every emotion under that cowl of his and Superman’s face went as white as it possibly could, anguish washing over both their faces when they realized who was in the video booster was watching.

Diana was the only one that stood up and moved to pick up the phone. Everyone held their breaths when she slowly looked down at the screen.

“Quite impressive. You both must be proud.” She said with a slight hum.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I apologize so much for this, but I just was cackling the entire time I came up with this and wrote it. Forgive me y’all! 🙏🏻

A/N: All the Twitter stuff was randomly generated and picked! I’m not good with it, but I added it for giggles!

[senadimell]

You know, as a young ish person who's grown up in a primarily digital world, there's something really grounding about spending time with people older than my parents. Went to a Guild activity last night and it was delightful being with the older ladies there.

Someone offered to drive me home because it was over an hour back to my house by public transit. We're in a city, and she took me back to my home by driving through neighborhoods and back roads, in the dark, to a place she hasn't visited in four years, without a GPS (before I gave her a landmark to drop me off at, I gave her my exact address and she got frustrated with the search engine and said she would just use the paper map in her car).

A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a friend's parent's coworker/boss/friend, and she told me I would learn to find my way around and would know the area like a native. It strikes me that this is what she meant, but she wasn't right--if I were to live here for years and go about it as I had been doing, I wouldn't get native knowledge of the area because I would just be relying on GPS and not actually navigating. If I want to really learn the area, I have to pay attention in a way I only learned how to do (and rarely use) because I spent six months in a foreign country without a smartphone or computer.

The lady who drove me home said something to the effect of "you're new to the area so you won't criticize the route I take. I'm just going to take the way I know so I won't get lost." What I don't think she realized is that even if I had been here for years, I wouldn't criticize the route she took, because I lived in my last area for six years and didn't even learn the name of the highway I took weekly. Stupid GPS brain.

So I'm going to Guild meetings for a Formal Skill, but there's all sorts of other basic, hidden life things that I wouldn't learn on my own. It's also been striking to realize that there's a major gap in expectations about how people operate in the world. Nobody above a certain age who's talked to me about the routes I take seems to realize that I don't actually know the names of roads and exits, or that it's possible to get around. I don't want to continue in ignorance, but if I did, I could get around in a smartphone, live here for probably ten years, and only learn about four street names.

[iceunhie]

— out of this world (and into another) : genshin impact

premise: you could've sworn the transmigration curse didn't have an effect on you... so what exactly are you doing here?! (alternatively, you tumble straight into your favorite video game; and you're kinda fucked)

...or, a genshin manhwa otome game inspired au.

act i: scaramouche, alhaitham, wriothesley.

↳ act ii: lyney, neuvilette, kazuha, kaeya. (next)

warnings. fem!reader but can be imagined as genderless if u'd like hehe, a shit ton of manhwa tropes in one, this is a hot mess aka not proofread all that much, half clunky half decent writing

a/n: as promised via the poll heh,, while i do plan to make this an actual au, im not that sure ^^; just the tip of the iceberg here tho!!

MAIN MASTERLIST | AU MASTERLIST (coming soon)

YOU — unsuspecting civilian turnt transmigrator

you've always been too attached to fictional characters for your own good.

yes, even the ones that are remarkably irredeemable (the power of a backstory is very formidable) and complex (complexity is a virtue!)

villains have always been destined to die, be cursed, or destined to curse others. it was heartbreaking, really. you've wished for a chance to rewrite their fates for them to find even a sliver of happiness, even when the fate of their plot says otherwise.

which is why when you find yourself awake into the game of your dreams, “Teyvat's Seven Stars”, like any lover of cliche novel and manhwa tropes, this is the time you think that maybe life wasn't so shitty on you.

....there's only one tiny, teensy, itty bitty problem here, actually.

you're not the protagonist. you're not even one of the protagonist's faithful friends and underlings that light protagonist's road to conquering the world and its men (and as of the 4.0 update, it's women); no, you're none of those.

you're a no name extra, and not to mention, a character involved with the game's main villain characters who are coincidentally the love interests of the game's black route!

[ unlock transmigration package: ultimate transmigrator's route ( ????? MODE ) ]

[ no ] [ yes ]

( 国崩 ) SCARAMOUCHE — the tyrant

“as of today, you will be engaged to crown prince kunikuzushi, who is her grace the shogun's rightful heir to the throne.”

when given approval to stare at your so-called soon to be husband, you expect the worst, mostly. the multitudes of character dialogue you've played through detailing his rather discourteous personality (which basically meant he was a huge asshole) don't exactly paint a pretty picture.

however...

who was this tender hearted looking scaramouche that ‘obliterated armies in the blink of an eye?’ the t in tyrant stands for tyrannical, not timid!

eyes like lighting framed by the longest eyelashes you've ever seen and an unfairly pretty face, comparable to a fair lotus. after fawning over his otherworldly countenance, a sinking realization of dread pools in your stomach.

oh, you are so screwed.

essentially tied to the indigo-haired ticking time bomb of a future tyrant due to the strong standing of your family for a period of until the main story starts, you're destined to never get crown prince scaramouche's affection, being his fiancée who scaramouche is arranged to for political means only.

not to mention, you're in an even more deadly position; of all the characters you switched souls with, it's the one that essentially dies by their own fiancé's hand because they were horrible to him! what atrocious luck!

frantic, you wrack up about three ways to survive.

plan a) win over the shogun's favor by being an appropriate partner unlike the original flavor of this body, who resorted to bullying the innocent prince and unknowingly digging their own grave or b) be a guiding friend to scaramouche as he learns the ways of the world and c) make sure you don't end up giving the protagonist a bad ending via his twisted personality.

weighing all these options, you decide to do all three in hopes to cement a life instead of a deathflag. prevention is better than the cure (aka: the protagonist) after all!

(you may also just want to spend time with your favorite character. having a time limit and a sign that says ‘i'll die in the future!’ should at least warrant you extra time to show some affection to scaramouche, at least.)

so, you do what anyone in your position would do: give affection! lots of it.

admittedly, it wasn't all flowers and rainbows. scaramouche—ahem, kunikuzushi—was very shy and reserved indeed, with his mother ei even worse off! (besides, who trains and studies all day and has to stop crying every time they were injured?! that was just too much!)

it was rather hard at first, the frigid atmosphere of the usually silent Tenshukaku Palace almost impossible to permeate. but with your amazing charm (read: deathflag radar) and social skills, you manage to let the members of the Royal family open up to you.

speaking words of praise in ei's cooking (a very difficult feat to accomplish), spending afternoons with your fiancé and teaching him ‘how to be a shoujo worthy male lead, name-version’ (very confusing to explain), and the cherry on top, driving away that vile teacher of his—the Doctor—once word got out that he'd been taking advantage of scaramouche as a political puppet king in the future. trauma enabler destroyed! look at your immeasurable powers!

(“you're not a failure.” clasping kunikuzushi's hands in yours as he reels back from you. damn that doctor.

his tears shot a wave of heartache through you. you can't bear to see your favorite in such suffering. “whatever happens in the future, i won't abandon you.

no matter what, i'll always be on your side, okay?”

kunikuzushi looks at you with something in his eyes—something like adoration. “do you promise that?”

“yeah.” you say without hesitation, the glow of the sunlight hitting your face so dazzlingly that kunikuzushi's eyes widen that his mouth hangs agape in awe. “i promise, kuni.”)

to your greatest delight, your efforts worked in your favor.

ei now spends time with her son, and though it's almost always just a tad bit awkward, you and the guuji yae miko get the two to strike up conversation, and overtime, kunikuzushi becomes more open to you.

(“[name], what kind of man is your type?”

“huh? well...” you think for a while. this was a great opportunity to say it, right? that life changing protagonist quote!

“to me, the only person i'll ever like the most is you, kunikuzushi.”

“do you really, really mean that?” and oh, he looks so cute—flustered and red from your words. worth it.

“yup! now, i made some shimi chazuke, try some—”)

(admittedly, lots of favoritism is involved.)

—and while you reap the fruits of your hard work, you spend warm, sunlit afternoons with ei at tea, even learning about other nations from scaramouche's aunt nahida and even befriended a few of his future affiliates—childe (though for some reason, kunikuzushi always pulls you away from him whenever he spots the two of you together), signora (she tolerates you, you think) and etcetera.

(“then, if i do well, can you kiss me on the cheek, [name]?”

you agree, much to his delight. scaramouche avoids the gaze of a certain pink haired fox eyeing him questionably. unbeknownst to you, he glares at the woman's scrutiny.)

unprecedented things unrelated to the plot happen too; like how your family, which basically only saw you as a political bargaining chip and an unwanted child they could get rid of easily—no longer sent you any demeaning letters demanding money once scaramouche found out....

(“they've been leeching off of you for how long?” so scary... is this was kunikuzushi is like when he's worried?)

(“...kunikuzushi, how long will you keep up that weak-hearted facade of yours? if they find out how.... dishonest you are....”

“i don't need the reminders of a foxy old hag that doesn't know her place. this is fine as it is.”)

(you don't need to know.)

but, you're nothing compared to the inevitable flow of the plot. inazuma is wracked with war, and it just so happened that you'd been unceremoniously kidnapped by a certain resistance leader's trusted general, used as a hostage bargain for approximately the majority of your life. in the worst moments in your dreary cell, there's only one thought in your mind.

....kunikuzushi's face, devastated when he tries to reach for you, before slipping away from him like sand— face morphing into an unbridled state of rage that's too natural, too familiar. when did he learn to make a face like that?

(they say the kingdom was wracked with thunderstorms all night that day.)

afterwards, fate doesn't make it kind for you.

years go by in the blink of an eye, with your capture fervently forgotten in the midst of the growing animosity of the two conflicting forces.

although you did hear that yae sent out a search party for you while at the resistance's base, the shogun's forces never reached you.

eventually, you got released secretly by sympathy of kokomi, the leader of the resistance, who felt pity for you getting caught in the crossfire. letting you go under the condition that you'd likely never meet any of the precious characters you've gotten to know and change was a heavy price to pay, but you didn't have any choice.

indeed, no matter how much you tried to divert the plot, your duty as an extra has ended, and you were even lucky to even be alive. you could only hope that your fiancé—ex-fiancé—took note of your lessons well, bidding farewell to inazuma as you hop on the boat to mondsdat.

by now, you at least hoped that scaramouche and the protagonist met, his true chance at happiness starting now that you were basically dead.

(even if your heart felt like breaking into a million pieces.)

....is what you thought would happen, but why is it that after three years from your supposed capture, inazuma was still at war?

“that crazy prince... he's still working to find his former fiancée... and he's razing almost every village apart looking for them!”

“—didn't the shogunate say that whoever finds her would receive almost 3 million mora?”

“the entire lot of them are lunatics, i tell you. all because of a missing person, too!”

what's more, why was it still going because of you?!

( 艾尔海森 ) AL-HAITHAM: the information guild master

to be fair, normal people don't really run into one of their favorite characters often after transmigrating.

but to be fair, again, you certainly didn't think you'd actually be in your favorite video game franchise caged in bed with essentially one of its main love interests.

eyes wide and unceremoniously looking—definitely not ogling— at the toned body that's currently enveloping you in its arms, the soft tuft of ashy gray hair caressing the crook of your neck, murmuring incoherent mumbles of—is that another language?

???????

you blink, looking down at the bare body currently embracing you. oh. oh.

you're an extra.

you're just an extra, but why are you in bed, currently being served breakfast by the most gorgeous man you've ever laid your eyes on, with a pretty view of the rainforests' canopy?

“you should lie down. if i recall, sufficient sleep is required in order for the human body to perform its basic bodily functions. although our partnership is temporary, to let you fall to harm is a situation i'd like to avoid as much as possible.”

“....what?”

“...?”

the guild master, al-haitham, is a character in Teyvat's Seven Stars that is heavily debated on whether he's technically a villain or not. in the game, he's the right hand of sumeru's leader, nahida, working as the overseer of the AKASHA, a guild that gathers information to the nation's leader. he's a pretty shady character—always working behind the scenes and very unfalteringly blunt—and a ‘villain’ for crown prince scaramouche's route, helping the protagonist escape his clutches.

he's often the subject of comedic ire, his banters with a certain broke architect always the highlight of any bonafide al-haitham fan.

“we're expected to work together by lord kusanali's decree in the duration of investigating the hivemind project the lord suspects the baron siraj is partaking in.”

right, that one scene in the game where al-haitham needed to go undercover to infiltrate a coup de etat staged by one of the factions against nahida... right... what.

you were that extra! the one that fell in love with him and pined for his affection!

(“well, i get that part, but does sleeping together really have to play a part in this...?”

al-haitham gives you a mere quirk of the lip, tilting his head. “we do have to play the part of a married couple in dire straights, do we not? this cover is more efficient.

...besides, i don't have anything to complain about. you're certainly better company than kaveh.” )

in truth, al-haitham wasn't bad company. far from it. aside from the internal giggling and fangirling (you) and the incredible stack of books (alhaitham) that you have to see more than the grey haired man on a daily basis, the two of you work out a rapport that stems from memories of the body you transmigrated in.

he's nice to be around, surprisingly considerate when he wants to be—he tells you about the books he always reads....

(who even reads ‘20 Tongues Language Memorization Guidebook: A Basic Overview of Vocabulary and Terms’ for enjoyment?

the content makes your head run in circles because of how complicated it is; but who wouldn't like to listen to an extremely attractive man overexplain to you with a calm and pretty voice?)

...is generous enough to provide meals and cook dinners that have you crying tears of gratitude because you know how awful yours compares (it was either too bland or too seasoned; al-haitham is surprisingly picky when he wants to be)

(you assigned al-haitham the title of “absolute s-tier husband material”— his capabilities are out of this world!)

by chance, you once gave al-haitham a little tidbit of information that proved to be valuable later in the investigation—courtesy of your avid game knowledge—when you two had been lost to the psychological illusion magic cast by siraj when you two finally broke in his estate.

(“whatever happens, if siraj messes with your mind, just make sure to think of me instead of anything else.” al-haitham lets his hand find yours.

“you once asked me if i trusted you, [name].”

“....” you're treated to one of al-haitham's rare smiles, one that warms you up from within. “i do. so don't let yourself get hurt.”)

however, your temporary partner had faltered for once, flinching when siraj took the form of his old grandmother who'd passed to exploit al-haitham's mind, hesitating and frozen in place while siraj inched ever closer to finding out his weakness.

and you couldn't stand it, the character you cared for—the al-haitham that always had a plan, always knew how to stay calm, had looked so unsure and hopeless.

(“wake up, al-haitham!”

with you cradling his face, al-haitham stares back at the only constant in the memories of his grief, eyes meeting yours. “you don't have to do it all alone. i'm right here, aren't i? believe in me.”)

your (fake) husband snaps back to reality, finally allowing enough time to apprehend siraj and put a stop to his malicious project.

(“thank you.” al-haitham tells you solemnly. it hits you that this may be the last time you may ever see him. “i'm grateful that you brought me back to y— to my senses.”

there's a sincerity in your voice that rings from your heart. “anytime, al-haitham.”)

you thought that was the end of it.

defeating siraj meant you two no longer had to associate with each other, but somehow, to your great surprise, al-haitham doesn't stick to the plot at all. you were sure you didn't interfere with the game, though?

for some reason, al-haitham doesn't erase himself from your life, unlike the original route's flow.

in fact, he's become... easy to run into, a constant in your otherwise mundane life. he takes you out to lambad's tavern for an occasional drink, says he's lending you his headphones when you find yourself overwhelmed by the city (you were never good with noises) and even helps you out as you vent your problems to him.

(the day after, said problem conveniently disappears. how strange....)

and most of all, allowing you to enter his personal space... leaving kaveh's jaw dropping when he accuses al-haitham of having a lover.

“you're always going who knows where with them! what else is there to figure out?”

“...we are merely friends.”

“a friend that you let into your personal library? do they know that you still keep the ‘fake’ ring in a box inside the closet?” kaveh laughs. “nice try, al-haitham.”

(after all, kaveh could never unsee the way al-haitham's eyes softened at the feeling of the head on his shoulder lean onto him, with you no doubt asleep. he even took his headphones off! kaveh has never seen him actually take them off in order to keep the person who's sleeping on his shoulder as undisturbed as possible.

in fact, kaveh doesn't think he's ever seen al-haitham be this touchy or considerate with anyone this much before.

.....and most importantly, kaveh would never forget the way al-haitham, a man who found no merit in politeness and preferred bluntness, a man who preferred solitude rather than company—deliberately getting close to someone—pressing a fleeting kiss on the crown of your head.

kaveh blinks. it seems even the throes of love can reach even the most unconquerable of peaks....)

( 莱欧斯利 ) WRIOTHESLEY — the monster duke of the north

“—i need you to gather information on duke wriothesley. serve him undercover as one of the prisoners of the fortress.”

the duke of meropide—a man swamped with terrible rumors. they say he was exiled from the nation due to murdering his entire family. they say he possessed a face worthy of the title of a beast— grotesque, littered in scars. they say that any who end up in his estate, the iron prison of the north, meropide, never saw the light of day again.

(“only criminals of the worst kind are fated to be sentenced there. nobody returns, so we've stopped questioning it...” )

so to say you're not fearing for your life that bad right now is a massive understatement.

“now, mind telling me how you were able to sneak into the most impenetrable prison in all the land, miss prisoner?”

how did it end up like this?

so you wake up and find yourself in jail. lovely.

seriously, of all the places you can transmigrate into, why did it have to be fontaine?! Teyvat's Seven Stars chapter 4's main starting point, the nation of justice is littered with dark themes and high difficulty capture targets.

.... such is the case with the man in front of you. unlike what the rumors of him say, duke wriothesley paints a rugged yet dashing picture of a nobleman, even if he was —if you recall— one of the hardest capture targets to conquer in the game.

a villain character who you played once during one game route, acting as the driving force during one of the love events of one of the protagonist's other love interest, lyney. duke wriothesley almost assassinates lyney's younger brother, freminent, leading lyney to rally up a certain group to bring the nobleman down.... a typical side character villain, who's existence was added as late as 3 patches away from lyney's.

(even inazuma would be better than this! at least the tyrant route could be avoided, and let's not mention the easy sumeru route as well...)

“well, miss prisoner, cat got your tongue?”

in summary: fortunately for you, the body you transmigrated is in the position to spy on the current affairs of the fortress of meropide, with courtesy and with permission of one of Fontaine's leaders, neuvillette. unfortunately for you, it seems our dear monsieur wasn't able to inform wriothesley beforehand, leading to the current situation.

aka, you're pressed dangerously close to wriothesley's chest, with a knife at his throat and his hands pinning you against the wall, noses almost touching. you're not sure if this is even the kind of tension that two people who are trying to kill each other are supposed to have...

(“i'm an ally!” you sputter out. wriothesley raises an eyebrow at you. “monsieur neuvillette sent me.”

“how am i supposed to trust you after i saw you slinking around here, knife at my throat?” he replies, eyes narrowing. “i know that i'm labelled as a beast, but i don't really know what came over that pretty little head of yours when trying to sneak into my chambers.”

what does he take you for?! “...are you accusing me of something indecent?!”

“just saying — i've met lots of prisoners with your excuse, my lady.”

“i'm prepared to use this knife, you know.”

“hah.” wriothesley grins. “how aggressive. more aggressive than most. do you want me that bad?”

“stop twisting my words!”)

in any case, you hate wriothesley. you know he's one of the characters in Teyvat's Seven Stars and is a villain for one of the easy love interest routes in the game, but his personality is... a real piece of work.

you'd rather the protective and kind kazuha, or even the charming and elusive lyney! why did it have to be him?

not only did he not believe you, he even told you to prove your authenticity! you're just glad that his assistant sigewinne had been there to vouch for you — you're not sure if you'd even be on your two feet right now if she didn't.

so now you're stuck constantly on your feet, running to and fro — helping the dark-haired man record new prisoners, establishing trading routes to the main city of Fontaine, and treating other prisoners of the fortress with sigewinne.

your biggest surprise by far, though, is just how... different the duke is from the rumors. his scars were merely battle scars of honor (to which sigewinne rolls her eyes, “your grace, please stop trying to look cool”) he got from various succession fights, not scars to show how he was cursed to turn into a beast. he has a love for tea, but always seems to have a cup of your favorite blend with him when you feel tired after a long day of working (laboring) for him and the estate.

(“your daily report of new convicts, your grace.”

“-this is the tea you like, your grace. i've prepared it in advance.”

“you're very adamant on proving yourself. aren't you sick of such tasks by now, miss prisoner?”

“no.” wriothesley's expression screams 'why not?' on it. “ it's because of my own misjudgement of you.”

“...elaborate.”

“i may have had unnecessary prejudices on your conduct thus far. but you're... not like what the rumors paint you out to be.” you say sincerely. “you're more amazing and incredible than anyone else. i truly do admire you.”

wriothesley's expression; you couldn't decipher it. “i see.”)

he's battered, but caring. sigewinne makes you watch (in horror) as she doodles cartoonish looking characters on his face when he's asleep — wriothesley never fusses, only an exasperated sigh to his assistant. he's harsh with his tasks and duties, but is the first to rush you into sigewinne's infirmary to tend to you after you pass out from overwork.

(“don't worry, [name]. the duke may not look it, but he's very gentle!” sigewinne giggles. humoring the little girl who was the first to show you actual decency in this place, you try to nod. sigewinne doesn't seem convinced.

“i'm serious! after all, compared to other people who've snuck into the fortress, you're the first he's treated this way.” she says cheerily.

“what does that mean?” you can't help but scoff at that. “so he just works someone to the bone from the get go?” you shudder. damn production zone...

sigewinne blinks. “ oh no, not like that. it's just that he's never been so lenient before. in fact, when you fainted, he even gave me the order to prioritize treating you over anything else.”)

well, this wasn't exactly what you thought you would be doing when you transmigrated into your favorite game, but you suppose you can take it.

besides, you'd miss a certain duke otherwise. life truly is full of strange twists....

a/n: thank you for making it this far! if anyone asks why wriothesley's was short, listen, this was completely impulsive and i was out of inspiration LOL, but i do hope you enjoy! look forward to new parts though hehe :3

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

[luxcuriousao3]

Expanding on this.

warnings: perv!König, noncon groping, somno, titfucking

-

Best Friend!König who’s obsessed with your tits.

You’ve known each other since childhood, and while he shot up in height, you shot up in bra size. And König noticed. Mien Gott, did he notice.

He was around fifteen when he realized for the first time just how nice your breasts felt against his big body when he hugged you, so soft and warm. He started taking any excuse to give you long, drawn out hugs—though of course he told himself it was just because he loved you so much. You were the only person who didn't bully him, after all.

He rationalized how his gaze started to end up on your cleavage more often than your face, too. He was just so tall, that even if he tried to look into your eyes—and he did, Schatz, he really did! You have to believe him, he tried so hard—he could see straight down your top, anyway.

And, well, he was no saint—just a man. And your tits were so pretty.

Could you really blame him for looking? He just wanted to admire you…

He always insisted on driving you places once he got his license—he was a good friend, after all, and he liked being useful. That he got to throw his arm out across your soft chest every time the car in front of him stopped too suddenly was just a bonus.

As the years passed by, his obsession grew—especially after he found porn. Most nights, he fisted his long, fat cock to videos of women who looked like you having their breasts played with, abused, worshipped. He preferred the latter, but he couldn’t deny there was something thrilling about the idea of slapping your soft tits and watching them jiggle. He would be sure to kiss them better after, though.

Once, after a particularly rough mission, König showed up at your place beaten to hell, eyes scarily hollow. You immediately let him inside, pulled him down onto your couch, and held him as he cried. He laid his head on your chest, seeking the comfort only your breasts could give him, and you shushed him softly as you petted his hair. He wished desperately in that moment that he could pull your top down, latch onto one of your cute little nipples, and suckle to his heart’s content, but he settled for leaning more and more of his weight on you until you had to lay back on the couch, him on top of you with his face buried in between your tits as he feigned sleep.

He was far too heavy for you to move yourself, and clearly, you felt bad for him, because you let him stay like that the whole night rather than wake him up.

On your twentieth birthday, König made sure he would have two whole weeks of leave, so he could spend time with you and your perfect breasts. He didn’t have the best relationship with his family, and you didn't have a roommate at Uni, so you let him stay in your dorm. You weren’t going to make your best friend sleep on the floor, of course, so the two of you shared a bed. Nothing untoward happened until the fourth night, when you both got outrageously drunk. You curled up in the tiny bed together when you got back from the pub, and promptly knocked out.

When you woke up the next morning, though, it was to one of König’s massive paws slipped under the neck of your dress, cupping your left tit.

To say you freaked out was an understatement.

You jumped up like you arse was on fire, hollering at him, demanding to know what the fuck he thought he was doing. König, who had been dead asleep, actually fell out of the bed, looking up at you for once, his big, perpetually sad eyes wide with complete confusion and a little bit of fear. When he realized what you were accusing him of, he started stuttering apologies, mortified with himself. You thought it was because he had unintentionally groped you in his sleep, which was partially true. But the main reason he was so upset was because he hadn’t even gotten to enjoy it. He’d held your beautiful breasts for the very first time and he hadn’t even known! The thought made him tear up, and you quickly forgave him, telling him that you believed him—"Accidents happen."

Every time it happened after that, König let you believe it was still an accident.

The more time he spent in the military earning his fearsome reputation and seeing terrible horrors, the bolder he grew. Now, when he visited you in your flat and gave you those sad puppy eyes until you let him sleep in bed with you rather than on the couch, he did not merely cup your breast at night. He played with your nipples, rolling the sensitive little buds between his fingers, tugging and pinching and delighting in the sleepy sounds of pleasure you let out. You tended to wake up if he got his mouth on them though, so he restrained himself—at least until he was able to get you drunk. You slept like the dead when you were wasted, and he had free reign over your amazing tits. He squeezed and sucked, kissed and licked, even fucked them, once. He’d been a little drunk too, that night, or he wouldn't have risked it—but seeing his massive cock nestled between your breasts was like a revelation. He found God in the warm embrace of your tits, and he made an offering in the form of his seed, spilling it all over your chest, neck, and lips.

It felt blasphemous to clean his come from your skin, like he was desecrating a sacred altar, but he knew you would hate him if you discovered what he’d done. And he couldn’t have that—he loved you, he always had and always would. You and your heavenly breasts.