#he definitely casually directs people away from that room though lmao

[lumiereandcogsworth]

What do the Adelle family's stockings look like!!!! I MUST KNOW!!!

okay so i’m actually quite torn about this. because adam, interior designer extraordinaire, would definitely want them all to be uniform and themed and Elegant and Lovely™️

belle, however, thinks that’s Dumb. their first christmases (number varying on the universe, of course) when it’s just the two of them, adam gets matchy matchy ones and belle doesn’t mind. they’re the right mix of elegant and cute. i feel like they’d have reindeer on them and are like red and gold.

when they have renée, though, belle is like okay we need to have FUN with stockings now. and INSISTS on getting a new one that is entirely unique to renée. then to juliette. when they’re old enough, belle has them pick them out themselves. adam is Annoyed that they’re all different but he unfortunately is too soft for his little princesses to stop any of it 🙄 like despite how much he insisted on getting stockings that Looked Nice, he simply couldn’t say no to his little girls when one wanted the pink sparkly stocking with a princess on it and the other wanted the green fluffy stocking with a teddy bear on it.

this tradition carries on when maurice is born too, and for years it’s just adam & belle’s nice ones and then the kiddos’ silly ones.

when the girls become teenagers though, adam makes his move. he suggests to the family that perhaps we all get a new set of stockings, so they match and look nice with the decor. renée and juliette don’t mind, but maurice, who is still a Kiddo, is like UMM?? EXCUSE ME??

and adam is like son please it’ll look so nice🥲

and maurice is like father you fail to see the beauty in my teenage mutant ninja turtles stocking

and adam is like i know you like that show but wouldn’t it be so nice if all the stockings matched

and maurice is like NO it would be NICE if my turtles could be FREE

and he walks out and adam has lost the battle for another christmas

he tries again a couple years later when maurice is a teen himself, and eventually maurice concedes.

and finally. FINALLY. after like TWENTY YEARS of these silly stockings that are OH so precious and SO VERY SILLY. finally adam gets his way and they have nice uniform elegant stockings for all five of them

and it’s so lovely and adam totally bided his time and it was totally worth it.

until the grandkids arrive :)

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Not me basically stalking this whole page bc like No OnE writes of Beastars and I'm starved

I love your writing honestly, thanks for doing God's works for us lmao 💕

When you have time could I request a sheep/wolf female reader (looks more like a sheep and only had wold teeth/ears) with Pina and/or Bill? Just like their initial reaction to them maybe and after they find out that she's technically a carnivore (even if she looks like a sheep)

Thank you!

Are you asking me to write for a wolf in sheep's clothing? Because it feels like you're asking me to write for a wolf in sheep's clothing and I am all about that life

Thank you so much! That makes my day ;-; I also got a bit carried away, so I hope it’s okay. Feel free to send again if I missed something!

Pina

“A new student?” Pina closed his locker, interest now fully on Els. Pina really hadn’t been listening that closely, but it wasn’t everyday the school got a new student. 

“Yeah! A new girl. She’s a sheep,” Els continued, going over the very few details she knew. It wasn’t much, but she was still excited about it. As she continued to speak, she quickly checked her phone. Pina could tell by her sudden expression that it was later than she anticipated. She needed to get to class.

“Why are you telling me?” Els gave him a look while slinging her bag over her slim shoulder. 

“Because you’re a total flirt! I don’t want you to make the school or the drama club look bad. I heard she may stop by the club after classes. Behave yourself, okay?” Pina just gave her a look as she retreated. He shook it off, he didn’t need some upperclassman lecturing him. It was well meaning, but when had anyone ever stopped Pina from doing what he wanted?

-

Your hand grips the handle of the door. You take a deep breath through your nose, letting it out through your mouth. You tried to anchor yourself, and prepare for the onslaught. Everyone at the school seemed really nice so far, but it wouldn’t take much for that to change. 

“You’re the new girl, right?” You jump, pointed ear flicking as you turn on your heel in alarm. You hadn’t even heard the male walk up behind you. Were you that much in your head? Usually your instincts were better than that. 

“Yeah,” Being a sheep meant you were pretty small, and it helped you talk to the ground so no one would see your fangs. You were really good at hiding them, you had to be. 

“My name’s Pina, you are?” You looked up at him, taking note of his shining horns and wool that fell just right around his form. He looked like he walked out of a magazine. 

“O-Oh! Y/N,” You offered a small closed mouth smile. Pina didn’t stop looking you over. Your alarm bells went off. There was definitely something up with him. Did he know? Usually people just assumed your ears were deformed or you were just bad at managing your wool which is why there were so fluffy. Was it your eyes? Your hands? You trimmed your claws between classes, so by all accounts you looked like an herbivore. 

“Nice to meet you. Don’t look so worried, pretty much everyone is tolerable,” He reached past you and walked in, letting you follow after. 

- 

You’d been going to drama club for a while. Thankfully for you, everyone was super nice, if not al little eccentric or weird. It at least gave you a solid friend base, if nothing else. You often would eat with some of the members. Sheila even introduced you to another sheep named Peach. Though, more often than not, you’d find yourself with Pina at some point during the day. You had no idea how it happened, it always just...did. You had suspicions he had somehow orchestrated running into you. 

“What class are you studying for?” He tried to peek over at your book, having managed to peel his eyes away from his phone that pinged every few moments with messages, no doubt from the possibly many girls he had been dating. 

“Science,” He looked immediately disinterested, going back to his phone. He started texting again, at a speed most cheetahs would find impressive, but he continued to try and carry a conversation with you. 

“Okay, I have to ask. What’s your deal? Why did you transfer, and why did you end up in drama club?” Pina’s words would have been accusatory, or pointed, but his tone was so casual it was like he was asking about the weather. 

“My deal?” You froze, and tried to casually turn the page, but you had stayed still a few moments to long. You didn’t have to look over to know Pina was now leaned over, waiting. 

“Your deal. Like, Legoshi is a pervert, Sheila used to be a dominatrix or something...No one normal as you usually joins. So, what’s your deal? You’re so...normal,” You hands closed your book with a thunk! You adjust on the bench to turn over and look back at him, scooting away just a smidge. 

“Promise you wont say anything?” You looked serious, but Pina was unaffected. Instead he tapped his chin, seeming to think hard about it. 

“Sure, why not?” He smiled, that same charismatic smile that he had perfected. You didn’t know if it was genuine, but his words were. Pina was a flirt, but he wasn’t known for spreading or telling rumors. Plus, he was your friend, even if you didn’t know how you ended up being friends in the first place. 

“Well, I’m not a sheep, at least...not all sheep,” As you spoke, he leaned in, curiosity getting the better of him. His phone was now long forgotten, and not even the chirping from text alerts took his gaze away from you. You glanced around while mulling how to say what you need to say in your head. The coast was clear. 

“I look like a sheep but, I’m also half wolf,” As your spoke, you didn’t hide your fangs, and actually went out of you way to adjust your more pointed ears. 

“Woah,” You waited for the fallout. Waited for his expression to turn to disgust, or for him to ask if your wolf parent ate your sheep one. You wanted for all of the normal questions that came with the confusion and ager from finding out you were a hybrid, but it never came.

“So that’s why you’re weird looking,” You shot a glare his direction. At least he was honest.

“Yeah, I guess...So, you wont tell anyone?” Pina leaned back.

“Nah I wont tell anyone about you, as long as you don’t chew on me at practice,” he shoots you a smile. This one seemed actually honest. 

“Thanks...I really appreciate it” 

“No problem. Can I ask another question?”

“Sure, I guess,” You suddenly felt much more relaxed. It was like a weight had been lifted. 

“Do you classify as a carnivore or an herbivore? I’ve never met a hybrid before,”  You blinked, and fiddled with the corner of your book.

“Carnivore, technically. I have to take supplements since I’ve been eating the herbivore lunch. It’s not balanced for me”

“Oh! Well, that sucks,” He laughed and grabbed his phone again. “Just order the food you want. I’ll can always get you one, or ask Bill to get an extra. Or Legoshi, they’d get one for you,” He was so casual about it, you almost had to pinch yourself. 

“Hey Pina?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks...for being so nice about it.” 

“No problem. You can’t help who your parents are, plus you’re more interesting than over half the school. It’d be a waste to stop hanging out with you over something so stupid.” 

----

Bill

“New student?” Bill held the door open for Els who snuck by, holding her bag. They’d just got done at drama club, and Els was eager to talk about the new student their director told them about. Supposedly she was a transfer from another school. The details weren’t specific but they were all pretty excited. Having someone from a new school could offer new perspectives, which could be great for the drama club.

“Yeah. She sounds like she could fit right it,” It’d be nice to have another girl in drama and another herbivore. After the incident with Tem, some herbivores were still cautious about carnivore students, so it was exciting this new girl was joining an interspecies club out of the gate. 

“I hope so. Just gotta make sure Pina doesn’t do anything overwhelming, we don’t need that kind of drama,” Bill did not need Pina to flirt with the new girl, and go and forget her name. Bill was honestly one to talk, but that was beside the point. 

“Well, we’ll get to meet her tomorrow!” Els smiled, and they waved goodbye to one another. She was in high spirits, and with a shove of her shoulder let herself into her dorm room. 

“See you tomorrow Els!” Bill waved and went to his dorm. A new girl huh? He wasn’t thrilled at the idea of more Herbivores to look after, but if they were even a fraction as cool as Els, they couldn’t be to bad. 

-

You took a deep breath, and your hand gripped your school bag tightly. You grabbed the door of the drama room and pushed it. It was a bit stuck, but nothing major. You did pretend to struggle with it in order to fit the persona you were following of being a basic herbivore. No one had to know about the fact you had a carnivore parent. 

“Hello! Sorry I’m late! I got a bit lost,” You walked in, smiling carefully, avoiding showing any teeth. Your slightly longer and fluffier ear twitched. Most students just thought it was some sort of deformity, and were polite enough not to talk about it. 

“Welcome!” A goat ran up to you, and quickly introduced herself. It took very little time for you to be introduced to everyone else. They all seemed nice, friendly. Juno and Els were quick to sweep you away from a flirty and curious Pina, and show you the ropes and the possible areas you could end up.

“This big guy is Bill, don’t worry, he’s not as big of a jerk as he likes to pretend to be,” Els fondly pat the large tiger on the arm, and he just gave you a smile.

“Nice to meet you,” Bill smiled your direction, but there was a moment where the look in his eye turned briefly to confusion, but it went back to normal almost as quickly as it came. 

“Nice to meet you too!” Maybe it was your imagination. Yeah, your imagination. 

-

Drama was really fun. Everyone was supportive, if not a bit quirky. Even out of drama club, they tended to stick together. Els, Sheila, as well as Juno, tended to stick close with you. Thanks to them, it wasn’t difficult for you to find a close group of small and honest friends. That also included Bill, on rare occasions. He stuck mainly with carnivores, but the rare times you were alone, he’d slide next to you. 

“Hey, you doing okay?” He had two meals in his hand. You wondered if he was meeting someone. 

“Yeah, I’m doing alright!” You set your supplements down. He eyed them for a moment and motioned with his head.

“It’s nice outside, we should go enjoy the rest of the evening,” You sat confused, but decided to follow him. Bill carried those two trays out and somehow still held the door for you. 

“Thanks, but why do you wanna eat outside?” You sat on a bunch, setting your try on your lap, and you opened your drink to take your supplements. When people asked, you told them they were just additional vitamins. 

“So you could eat this instead,” He offered the second tray he had been holding. You looked at him confused. 

“Why?” It was the carnivore lunch tray. You were a sheep, as far as anyone knew. 

“Because taking supplements suck,” He sat down, and offered the second tray again, “Take it, I want to eat my food too, kinda hard to do that with my hands full,” You set your other food aside, and took the offered tray, 

“So, you know?” Bill shrugged. He didn’t seem that worried about it. 

“Yeah. To be fair, Aoba figured it out first. He happened to see you yawn one day, spotted your fangs. Aoba has really good eyes, being a eagle and all. We figured you didn’t want anyone to know so we haven’t asked you about it,” You freeze. If Aoba knew, who else did?

“Aoba knows?” You looked shocked. You thought you had been so careful! 

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. Only Aoba, Els, and I know. We didn’t want to bug you about it, but it’s been bugging me, watching you take those pills all the time. It’s better to just eat what you need instead of eating salads and hoping your “Vitamins” even it out. If you’re part carnivore, have some pride in it,” He spoke between eating. You were surprised, he seemed so okay with it. 

“Oh,” You didn’t know what to say. No one had treated you different, everyone was still super nice. 

“Promise you guys wont tell anyone?” You finally picked up your utensils, and began eating the lunch you should have been getting from the beginning. It was really good, but maybe that was just because it came from someone who accepted you. 

“Promise. We stick together, you’re one of us now,” He jokingly shoved your thin shoulder with his own, grinning. 

“So, what are you mixed with?” Bill asked, his food all but gone. How did he eat so much so fast? 

“Sheep and a wolf,” He laughed.

“Oh boy, I bet that must be a story,” He laughed, and you would bet he was trying to picture how that happened.

“Yeah,” You kept eating, finally relaxing. You didn’t even know you were tense. 

“If you ever need anything you can ask me, okay? Like I said, we all kind of stick together. I don’t mind buying extra food for you so you can avoid taking those pills,” He looked away, scratching his cheek. You got the feeling he wasn’t used to being sincere or so outwardly nice. It wasn’t a surprise, he frequently played the tough guy. 

“Thanks Bill.”

“You’re welcome” 

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s One More Wedding Event (full release)that should have just came out in Japanese Version. Could you translate it or summarize it, please? Thank you for your time.

I can't believe you want to give me this kind of power, but if you insist 😂💛

That being said, because my translation skills are rough at best, I'll be summarizing and selecting specific parts to discuss if I feel a need to quote directly.

If you don't want spoilers for Comte ES, run!

Y'all. Y'ALL. REEEEEEEEE I LOVE HIM. NOBODY LOOK AT ME I'VE BEEN CRYING ON AND OFF FOR DAYS

ANYWAY

So this particular event begins with MC bringing Comte a letter as he thanks her. One glance at the return address tells him that it's a pureblood gathering invitation, and upon opening it he's right. He shrugs it off and says he'll reply to it later, setting it aside.

MC, perceptive as ever, asks if he's declining the invitation. Comte explains the nature of the party and how only purebloods are allowed to end. Furthermore, the gathering takes place on their first wedding anniversary--and he would much prefer to spend the day with her.

Comte: “MC, any gorgeous evening party–no matter how beautiful–means nothing to me without my wife at my side. The place I belong is with you.”

MC: “Er…”

His gold eyes are steady and unwavering as he looks at me, and my heart skips a beat.

Comte: “Anywho I have no intention of attending this party, as it also overlaps with the date of our anniversary. Our first wedding anniversary is an important day, and I want to spend it with my beloved wife.”

Comte smiles winningly, all while staring straight at me.

MC, however, finds herself conflicted. Given how little she knows about purebloods, she wishes she could attend the party to better understand him and the community he's a part of. She admits this, to Comte's great surprise, but feels bad about it because she doesn't mean to ask something impossible of him. (One of the requirements of the party is that you have to be a pureblood vampire to be invited. ON WEDNESDAYS WE WEAR PINK) Comte clarifies that--because she's his wife--she's welcome to attend alongside him. He offers to take her with him if that's what she wants.

MC: “Are you really sure it’s okay for me to go, though?”

Comte: “Certainly. But I would never force you if you were uncomfortable, of course.”

MC: “No, I don’t hate the idea!”

Comte: “But I’d understand if being surrounded by purebloods would be rather nerve-wracking for you…And so many of them have a superiority complex a mile wide; they’re a prideful bunch. While it may not be all of us, there are enough that it might be stifling for you to be around them.”

Comte: “In light of all that, are you certain you still wish to go?”

[I know he’s just doing his best to prepare me for what I might face at a party like this--he doesn’t want me going in with the wrong idea. It’s very likely he had intended to decline the invitation to spare me the discomfort, and the burden of making a choice that would affect/limit him too. The concern in his features makes me melt.]

The part I love most about this scene is that this is just the beginning of so many attempts on his part to prepare her realistically, but also support her decision. As much as he wants to go with her he's never going to put her in the position of deciding for the both of them. He knows there's a great deal of pressure to face among such a forbidding/traditional society, and if she needs more time to prepare for that--he wants to give her the space to get used to something so unfamiliar. In truth, I don't see him ever asking her to go if she didn't want to--even if it stung to have that part of him rejected...

MC considers for a moment, but she's resolved to understand him and his people better. She explains as much, and Comte brightens at the confession.

MC: “I’m sorry if it’s a bit much to ask of you, but thank you…!”

Comte: “I should be the one thanking you, now I look forward to the gathering.”

MC: “You’re…looking forward to it?”

When I tilt my head quizzically, le Comte draws me close with a faint smile on his lips.

Comte: “I’m excited to introduce you as my wife.” (SCREAMS AND CRIES)

This gets INSANELY cute because he gathers her close to him and she just gets very bashful about it. She apologizes--saying she knows she should be more used to it given they've already been married a year now, but his response is so sweet: “Why apologize? I’ve always thought my wife is the cutest.”

They both think back to their wedding ceremony at the mention of how long they've been together, and MC's eyes find the flower pins she gifted him on top of his hourglass (which fking one he has like 300).

Some background for anyone unaware: when Comte and MC got married, MC gifted him these flower pins--they were flowers that were preserved (in metal I think? idk exactly how it works they just look metallic in his outfit art). She explains that they're an attempt to symbolize her love for him, in that she intends to remain unchanging in her feelings forever. I find it's also an apt metaphor for MC herself; it's not unlike her agreement to become a vampire to stay with him.

MC: “You’ve been taking good care of the flowers I gave you.”

Right next to the hourglass lie the preserved flowers I gave him. They gleam in the light with ease, clearly polished and looked after–not a speck of dust on them.

Comte: “With those you swore your love to me. Isn’t it only natural that I’d take good care of them?” (LISTEN COMTE YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THE REALITY OF THE MALE SPECIES QUIT PLAYIN)

After that scene there's a timeskip to the night of the party--and after everyone celebrates their anniversary in the mansion all day--they hop in a carriage. MC is a little lost in thought, preparing herself for what's to come. When he asks if she's nervous she fully admits to it, but with a caveat. She's nervous because she doesn't know what to expect and she's concerned about committing a social faux pas, but she's not afraid or anxious.

Before I came to this time I had absolutely no concept of what an elaborate dinner party looked like–and besides which, this time it’s going to be a room full of purebloods. I’m nervous, sure, because I’ve never done this before--but it’s not quite anxiety or fear.

MC: “As long as you’re beside me, I’m invincible–anytime, anywhere.”

I can navigate anything: unfamiliar social circles, even an entirely new era of time. Because Comte is always so steady and reliable, always there for me, my anxiety ebbs and I can shine–be the very best I can be.

Comte: “MC…”

Comte looks absolutely moved by what I have to say, directing a gentle, tender look at me.

Comte reiterates his previous warning, that they might be weirdos and/or rude because they're stuck in their ways. He knows their discriminatory nature is wrong, but he believes in her ability to overcome those things--and fully intends to support her. He also lets her know what to expect in terms of the schedule: mostly mingling, and dancing is reserved for the very end of the party only.

Gatsby hour begins and MC marvels at the enormous venue sparsely populated by people dressed to the nines (I can only imagine how Comte dressed her up for this event in light of that LMFAO). Comte tells her he's going to get some drinks, and MC agrees to wait for him. In a classic lowkey queen move, she retreats against a nearby wall to take in her surroundings. She feels a certain intensity to be surrounded by people who look so young and beautiful, and yet carry the experience of lifetimes within them. She also notes the slightest permeating scent of blood in the air, assuming most of the people in attendance are drinking Rouge in their wine glasses.

When Comte returns to her, he offers her a glass of red wine, and she takes it with a smile.

MEAN GIRLS TIME!!!!!

So these two ladies approach le Comte yelling about how long it's been since they've seen him, and about the rumors that he got married. Without missing a beat he confirms it's true, and introduces MC to them as his wife. MC offers a greeting and a curtsy, but the women openly spurn her because she's not a vampire lmao. ("Who put you on the planet" energy, essentially). I still can't tell if they were acting like insane mother-in-laws on Comte's behalf, or out of jealousy--or weirdly both.

All casual dismissal, the women sashay away from us, dresses swishing.

[It seems like I really won’t be accepted as Comte’s life partner so long as I remain human…]

Comte: “…I’m sorry. I’m afraid that is the usual attitude of pureblood vampires. Not all of us are like that, but they still made you feel uncomfortable ;;;;”

MC: “That’s not something to apologize for. I’m happy to attend such a lovely party as your wife.”

I don’t want to ruin the occasion for him, so I beam at him.

Comte: “MC…” His lips descend close to my ear, pressing the lightest kiss against it.

Comte: “Thank you, MC…I’m happy, too.”

While Comte is full of uwus and love for his wife, she notes he stops there--likely because it's a public venue. (And I'd wager respectability politics, given a lot of old school people tend to say horrible things at the slightest sign of PDA lol. It would give them all the more reason to be nasty to MC.) MC notes that no matter how small the gesture or how often he extends his affection, it always sets her heart racing (what a damn mood) and they both gear up to greet everyone else. They're both like ganbatte!!! at each other and it's really cute, haha.

[No matter how many times he does things like this, I’m always caught off guard. I imagine we’ll be this way forever…]

Comte: “Here we go, the party’s only just begun. Let’s get to it and enjoy ourselves. No need to hesitate, it’s our wedding anniversary after all–this is a time for you to smile.”

MC: “Haha, thank you very much! Then I’ll definitely enjoy it to the fullest!”

We continue to greet and chat with other purebloods, the night goes on while I sample some of their food–

At some point MC separates from Comte to use the restroom. When she exits to rejoin the crowd, she hears the voices of those two women that openly rejected her earlier. They basically talk about how Comte and MC will never last or have a meaningful relationship, and that Comte is wasting his time not breeding more master race pureblood babies for the community's future. (Not remotely surprised Leonardo does not like them at this juncture lmao)

While MC was well aware she'd face some level of disdain, she admits that it still hurts to hear--and doesn't want Comte to see her upset. So she walks out to a nearby balcony to look at the stars and cool off before returning to his side.

Comte: “MC.”

MC: “Eh…? Comte, when did you get here?”

Comte: “You hadn’t returned for a while, so I went looking for you.”

MC: “Ah, I’m sorry to worry you. The stars were so lovely I couldn’t help but linger a bit to enjoy the sight of them.”

When I try to hide my gloomy feelings, he stares at me.

Comte: “You seem upset all of a sudden. Did something happen? Did someone…say something to you, by any chance?”

MC: “Ah, I can’t hide from you it seems. I guess I am a little upset.”

Comte: “…”

Comte: “MC, do you regret marrying me?”

MC: “!”

MC: “That’s not the case at all. No matter what finds us in the future, I’ll never regret having married you. I’m glad I met you, Abel–that will never change…”

When I tell him my heartfelt feelings, he gently wraps his arms around me.

Comte: “…Me too, MC.” The voice that murmurs at my ear is filled with such ardor that my heart melts.

Comte: “It might have been too much to ask of you to come here. But no matter how difficult the truth may be, it’s an undeniable fact that I’m a pureblood.”

Comte: “I was so happy that you wanted to know more about me–to know me better–that I was spoiled by your words. And yet, as a result of that indulgence, I hurt you…”

MC: “…No. That’s not it. Abel, I’m not familiar with vampires. But this last year, I was with a pureblood who’s kinder than anyone else I know.”

I have no innate fear or dislike of purebloods–because the person I love more than anyone else in the world is a pureblood vampire.

MC: “That’s why I’m not afraid, or dreading any of this.” It might seem outlandish, but his presence was like magic; it was enough to give me the strength to have courage and find kindness for the people around me.

MC: “No matter who stands in my way in the future, I will do my best to be recognized as your partner someday. Didn't I tell you before? I'm invincible anytime, anywhere, as long as you're there with me!”

Upon hearing her resolve to stay with him, he feels the need to renew his vow to her too--telling her that he'll always love her as well, and that his feelings have only grown since then. One important bit to note in his confession is that he fully admits he had a hard time coming to term with what he was, he's only a little more accepting of being a pureblood because her existence redefines what an eternity means to him. He explains that, while no end of time used to be an upsetting and hollow concept to him, the fact that his long life will be spent cultivating his love for her gives him the strength to face his reality.

They kiss and MC acknowledges that life--no matter how long--always has its ups and downs. Sometimes there will be rough times, like when those Mean Girls women were actively nasty and unfair to her. And sometimes there will be joyous times, like how Comte just repeated his vow to her so sweetly. But more than anything, it's important to live in the present moment as fully as possible, and she deepens her kiss with Comte accordingly.

After what I assume to be an excellent make out, they return to the venue and rejoin the group of vampires. Now then, because it's Comte and Comte refuses to take any shit he reveals his ace in the hand. Premeditated and all cunning expectation, the show begins:

After reaffirming our feelings for the other, we return to the hall. When we wandered around to greet people today, there were also vampires who were kind to me. For those that remain perturbed by my presence, they continue to sneer at me as though I were an eyesore.

[I don’t care. Comte’s by my side…]

Comte: “…That’s right, MC. There was one thing I forgot to mention.”

MC: “Huh?”

Comte: “A short while ago, you said something about doing your best to earn their approval. I wouldn’t even worry about it, you’re perfect just as you are. Everyone here just doesn’t have the slightest inkling as to your charms yet. For those with the ability to see, feel free to show them as many times as you like.”

MC: “Comte…”

At that very moment, a waltz begins to flow into the hall.

Comte: “Oh, is it time to dance already? MC, shall we?” (Oh Is It TiMe To DaNcE aLrEaDy, damn clown)

MC: “Yes.”

In time with the melody, we begin to waltz together. When I'd first arrived to this era, the steps and the dance itself were unfamiliar to me. Now when I dance with Comte it’s nearly effortless–natural as breathing.

[Comte has taken me to so many evening parties at this point. Thanks to his impeccable leading any uncertainty in my step is elegantly disguised.]

Comte: “MC.”

As we danced, he called my name--crooned it softly.

Comte: “…Have you noticed? Everyone is watching us.”

At the sound of this new information, I look around.

[Oh, it’s true–everyone really is looking at us…]

And it’s not like before, tinged with displeasure and contempt. It’s like they can’t look away from us now, dazzled and intrigued.

MC: “Makes sense–you’ve always been a very graceful dancer, Comte, it’s impossible not to find it captivating.”

Comte: “No. Without you as my partner, I can’t enjoy it nearly as much as I do now.”

He grins as he says so, the sentiment reflected in his buoyant step. Beautiful, noble…and above all, lively. Even though I’m always by his side, I remain endlessly captivated by that smile and movement.

Comte: “We are more in tune with each other than every other pair here, don’t you think?”

MC: “Haha, that’s right!”

I think le Comte is lovely no matter who he’s dancing with, but I’m sure I’m the one who gets along with him best–I think so, because his golden eyes reflect no one else but me.

[No matter what anyone says…I won’t give up this position to anyone else.]

When the song is over, and the dance is finished, the hall is filled with the raucous sound of applause and cheering. All these people are looking at us and their eyes are shining.

[I wonder…if maybe our feelings for each other were transmitted more clearly after that dance? The mere thought of it makes me feel ticklish and delighted.]

After their lovely display, the Mean Girls ladies approach MC to apologize as everybody is leaving for the night. MC accepts their apologies and says she wants to find a way to get along with them moving forward, though they're still pretty reluctant (probably only apologized to save face).

Differences in lifestyle and family tradition...I think there are many reasons why they can’t accept me. I don’t think it’s easy to understand the breadth of the gap between us; I’m sure I’ll need more time to be able to bridge those differences.

[I don’t know the way of life or struggle of the pureblood people yet. But…I want to understand.]

Even if we are endlessly different, I don’t want to give up on finding some sort of compromise. Next to me, le Comte smiles silently. For the foreseeable future--as long as it may take--I want to prove that I can make this person happy.

I deadass can't stop laughing at the fact of Comte standing next to MC all :)))))) (y'all he is emitting BOSS M U S I C)

After that, Comte and MC also head into their carriage and head home:

Comte: “MC, thank you.”

Le Comte remarks on the way home in the carriage.

MC: “…? I haven’t done anything worth thanks.”

Comte: “For today, for coming with me. And--up until now and from now on--for being by my side. I wanted to thank you again.”

He leans over from where he sits next to me and entwines our fingers together.

MC: “…Abel?”

Comte: “…Today is not just the day of the party, but our wedding anniversary too, right? From here on out, it’s time for only us two to be together.”

This is essentially where the premium story ends, and then it moves into the epilogue. I'll give some tidbits from the epilogue, just because it was so endlessly gratifying. Other than them having the smash of the century, it's mostly Comte going overstimulation feral service top. But there are so many really romantic moments during the shameless fking ;-;

The more he kisses me, the more my need for him spirals out of control. As if to entice him I twist my tongue with his deeper and deeper.

Comte: “MC…”

He exhales my name on a single heated syllable, and I can tell by the way he’s looking at me precisely what it is he wants.

Comte: “MC, what do you want to do…? I want to make you happy tonight. Do you want me to be kind? Or take you with reckless abandon?”

MC: “Abel…please do as you like. That’s what would make me happiest. :>”

Comte: “…I see. So you want to be made a mess of, is what you mean.”

MC: “Mn, aah–”

When his hands trace my sides seductively, my sensitive body reacts on it’s own.

Comte: “…You’re really cute, MC. Tonight, I’ll remind you the joy of being mine again.”

---

Comte: “Always so sensitive. Just the slightest touch, and you cry out with such a sweet voice…”

MC: “Well, it is your fault…”

[Because if Abel touches me like that…He spoils me and leaves me in an endless sea of pleasure, building up to that crest–fading–and building up again…because he loves me so dearly.]

Comte: “My fault, is it?…I like the sound of that.”

With a bewitching smile, he makes short work of his tie and button down. Even the most casual gestures like this are done with such grace that it becomes sensual. I’m drawn to the sight of him revealing more and more of his skin, thinking he’s far too much of a tease.

Comte: “…If you look at me with such desirous, greedy eyes, I’m going to lose control myself, MC.”

----

MC: “I…all I do is take from you…” I’m embarrassed because I’m so inexperienced that all I do is drown in the pleasure he gives me.

Comte: “…If you really think so, then you’re too unaware.”

MC: “Mn–ah, hah…”

Comte: “I’m the one who can’t stop wanting you…MC.”

When he leans over to murmur in my ear, his voice is suffused with desire–breathing shallow. From the gap between his lips, I can see the fangs which have never broken my skin…

MC: “Abel…do you want to bite me?”

If the answer is yes, then I’d be delighted. A vampire’s hunger for blood is often tied to romantic feeling. If he wants to suck my blood, then that’s all the more evidence that he loves me.

Comte: “That’s right. I want to sink my fangs into your soft skin…To taste your blood, to know your body and soul--I want to make every part of you mine.”

MC: “Mn…”

He drops a kiss to my throat, tickled by his tongue as he licks there–as if to taste me.

Comte: “But…”

Only I am reflected in his eyes.

Comte: “The only thing I want more than biting you is to take good care of you. I don’t want to impulsively take anything from you.”

MC: “Abel…”

....

Comte: “Someday…I will make you into a vampire. But, right now, I want you to stay exactly as you are.”

The heat of him coupled by that serious look...my heart is swept away.

Comte: “So…can you bear with my hesitation for just a little while longer?”

MC: “Yes…forever. I’ll always be yours.” I replied, wrapping my arms around his back. He squinted, as if he were staring at something dazzling.

Comte: “I’m always hesitating, but…MC. I will absolutely never let you go. I swear my love to you forever, my dear wife.”

----

The last part of the epilogue is confusing because I'm not sure if it's intended to be an actual dream or Comte just messing with her, but here goes:

[Morning already…?]

At the sensation of sunlight, I open my eyes.

MC: “Eh!?”

Comte: “Are you up, MC? The defenseless face you make when you’re asleep is adorable, but when you open your eyes and look at me that’s also lovely.”

He was lying in bed, unlike last night, wearing the same outfit he had on for our wedding.

[Ah, I’m most likely dreaming.] When I realize it, I get a ticklish feeling in my chest and can’t help the smile that finds my face.

MC: “Haha…”

Comte: “MC? What’s wrong?”

MC: “No, I was just thinking you really will always be by my side. I’m glad to see you in my dreams like this…I’m happy.”

Comte: “…Haha, that’s right. I’m happy too. But…it’s not always a dream right?”

MC: “Er…”

His voice easily makes my heart flutter, like sweet sake.

Comte: “Would you like to see if it’s a dream? …Once again, with your body.”

My heart thunders under his sultry gaze, covetous gold eyes beckoning me closer. (COME HITHER FUCK)

MC: “Yes, Abel. As many times as you like…take me.”

I know dream-like, impossibly happy days will continue as long as I stay by his side–

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is so much going on here that I don't even know how to encompass all my feelings other than to say MARRIED COUPLE G O A L S. AAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE'S SUCH A DOTING HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT A RING ON ME S I R

I really love the endless reciprocity coming from MC, lmao. She very openly wants to respond to his efforts, wants to make him happy too, is just as desirous in their coupling. I also love how much personality and spunk she has??? I was fucking d y i n g when she was like:

MC: "Aren't the stars so nice." Comte: "Adorable that you'd try to out-fake the king faker. What really happened." MC: "Damn it."

It's been a long time since I've gotten this much serotonin from a story m a nnnnnn

[lucys-key]

Unexpected Encounters (Eren Yeager x Reader)

Part 4: Nice To See You

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Smut, some alcohol and recreational drug use (just weed), and language 

A/N: Surprise haha! I got this up earlier than expected. I hope you enjoy, as always! (also, this will make sense when you read, but just imagine what color Eren’s LED lights are cause I couldn’t decide lmao.)

...

You stared at your phone.

Contact Name: Eren Yeager.

He had given you his number two days ago, right before he left for his shift at the café after you two met at the gym.

“Text me!” Eren had said.

It was Friday now, and you still hadn’t texted him.

You desperately wanted to see him again, but you had been rather busy for the past couple of days. Classes and work had you distracted, and had also left you with insufficient time to hang out with Eren over the week.

Since it was Friday, however, you found yourself with some extra free time and the whole weekend ahead of you.

Earlier you had dinner with Historia and Ymir, and now you were back in your dorm, staring at your phone. You couldn’t help but wonder what Eren was doing. With a free Friday night ahead of you, it was the perfect time to ask Eren to hang out—all you had to do was press a few buttons on your phone.

Historia wasn’t in your dorm, so you were in the room alone. You looked at your phone for a few more seconds, took a deep breath, and pressed the “call” button.

After a few rings, you heard Eren pick up the phone.

“Hello?” he said.

You took another deep breath and then spoke.

“Hi, Eren,” you said.

You heard music in the background, but Eren turned it down when he heard your voice on the other end of the line.

“Oh, hey!” Eren replied, saying your name in mild surprise.

You smiled when you heard him speak.

“How are you?” you asked

You heard Eren laugh softly and then say, “Pretty good. I wasn’t expecting you to call.”

“Sorry it took me so long. I’ve just been really busy,” you said apologetically.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said. “I get it.”

His understanding tone made you smile, and you were very glad that you had decided to call him.

“Well, I’m not busy now,” you told him. “Are you doing anything tonight?”

Eren didn’t say anything for a moment as he considered your question.

“Jean and I were gonna hang out with some people at the house,” Eren said. “Do you want to come?”

You considered the offer. The last time you went to that house had ended with you and Eren locked in a passionate embrace in the basement, and the idea of going back sounded fun.

“You can bring some of your friends if you want,” Eren added after a moment, sounding hopeful.

You nodded your head even though he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah. That sounds good,” you said.

“Good,” Eren replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

He told you what time to get there and to text him when you did, and then you both said goodbye.

After you hung up, you heard the door to your room open. You saw Historia walk in with Ymir behind her.

When you looked up, Historia smiled and walked over to you.

“Guess what,” she said.

You looked at her in confusion, not sure why she was so happy.

“Ymir and I ran into Jean a few minutes ago,” Historia said, “and he told me that some people are going over to the house to hang out tonight. He invited us and wanted to make sure we told you.”

You laughed and nodded.

“Yeah, I already know about it, but I appreciate you thinking of me,” you told her.

Historia smiled again and walked over to her side of the room with Ymir. Eren had said you could bring friends tonight, so you took out your phone and made a chat with Hitch and Annie to see if either of them wanted to come.

Hitch responded with an enthusiastic, “Yes!”, but Annie said she had other plans for the night.

“So, are you going to go?” Historia asked you after you replied to Hitch and Annie’s messages.

You looked at her and nodded.

Historia smiled knowingly and said, “Thought so.”

You knew what she was implying by that comment—that she knew exactly who you would see there—but you couldn’t even bring yourself to deny the fact that Eren was the main reason why you wanted to go.

You had just under an hour before it was time to go, and you walked over to your dresser to pick out an outfit. You spent longer than usual looking at your clothes, putting together different outfits. Eventually, you decided to wear your favorite shirt and pants, setting them aside for later.

After about a half-hour of watching Netflix, you got out of your bed to go to the bathroom to change and get ready for the night. Historia and Ymir were getting ready in your dorm, and when you got back from the bathroom, they both looked at you and smiled.

“What?” you asked.

“You look amazing!” Historia exclaimed.

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling a hint of embarrassment.

“Is it too obvious?” you asked.

Ymir smirked and said, “Who cares? You look great.”

You smiled at them, feeling reassured. “Thanks, guys.” After you put on your shoes, you sprayed some perfume over yourself for good measure and then texted Hitch to ask if she was ready.

Once she confirmed that she was, you, Historia, and Ymir left your dorm to meet her in the hallway. You saw Hitch waiting by her door, and when she heard you come out of your room, she looked up and waved.

“Ready to go?” you asked.

Hitch nodded and joined you, Historia, and Ymir as you walked out of the dorm building.

The four of you walked across campus until a familiar house came into view. You could already feel yourself becoming nervous as you walked up to it.

Since it was early, the house wasn’t open to everyone yet, so there wasn’t anyone standing at the door to let people in. You needed a special key to get into the house, similar to the one you had to use to get into your dorm building, so someone would have to come down to let you in.

“Jean said to text him when we got here,” Historia said, taking out her phone.

You decided to text Eren a message of your own, letting him know that you had arrived with a simple: Here :).

A second later, you felt your phone buzz with a reply from Eren, but then you got distracted as the door to the house opened.

“Hey there!” Jean said, smiling in a way that let you know that he was most definitely not sober.

“Thanks for inviting us!” Historia said brightly.

“Of course!” Jean exclaimed, opening the door wider and gesturing for you all to come in.

Instead of going to the basement like you had last time, you followed Jean as he led you and your friends towards the main set of stairs which led to the upper floors of the house. You saw guys in the frat moving about, getting prepared for the masses of people that were soon to enter their house.

When you got to the second floor, you walked through the hallway until you got to the room at the end. You could hear music coming from inside and people talking.

“Somehow, Connie managed to get the best room in the house,” Jean said, rolling his eyes as he opened the door.

You let Historia and Ymir go in first, while you and Hitch followed behind them.

Once you stepped inside, you looked around and saw that Connie’s room was more of a suite than a room. It was big for just one person, with more space than the other rooms on the floor since it was at the end of the hallway.

There was R&B music playing over a small speaker, and the room was bathed in a soft light.

You looked to your left and saw a boy with short hair playing a video game that was connected to a TV. You assumed that he must be Connie since you had never actually met him. To your surprise, the girl from the café, Mikasa, was leaning on the wall close to the TV watching Connie’s progress in the game.

“Let’s get something to drink!” Hitch said, making you look away from the TV.

You nodded and followed her to the other side of the room where there was a small folding table that had cups and different bottles of alcohol sitting on top of it. Ymir and Historia were already standing by the table talking to Reiner and his friend.

As you walked towards them, you noticed that one of the windows in the room was open and that someone was sitting on the ledge. You quickly realized that it was Eren.

His back was against the side of the window frame, and one of his legs was bent and resting in front of him on the ledge. He was holding something between two of his fingers. You watched as he brought it to his mouth and inhaled, blowing the resulting cloud of smoke out of the window.

You felt your heart start to beat faster as you looked at him. He was just wearing a simple black shirt and grey sweatpants, but you thought he had never looked better. You heard Hitch call your name, prompting you to choose a drink. Eren must have heard her because he turned his head to look in your direction.

Eren smiled when he saw you, and then he stood up. He extinguished the joint he’d been smoking and placed it on an ashtray before walking over to you.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Eren said when he was standing next to you.

You laughed and picked up a can of hard seltzer from the table.

“You too. Funny we keep running into each other like this,” you replied, mimicking Eren’s words from the party where you two shared your first kiss.

Eren laughed, knowing that this was the first time you had actually expected to see each other, and then he casually placed a hand on your shoulder. He moved his mouth closer to your ear.

“I’m glad you came,” Eren said softly, so only you could hear him.

You closed your eyes for a split second, all of the memories from what happened in the locker room with him rushing back as you felt him so close to you.

“Me too,” you replied.

Eren smiled and then squeezed your shoulder lightly. He looked across the table to where Reiner and his friend were refilling their drinks.

“Have you met Reiner and Bertholdt?” Eren asked.

You finally had a name for Reiner’s friend, and Reiner inclined his head in your direction when he heard Eren speak, while Bertholdt gave you a warm smile.

You smiled at them in return, and then introduced yourself officially.

“Nice to meet you,” Bertholdt said after you told him and Reiner your name. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

You were surprised to hear that, so you looked at Eren and saw that his cheeks had turned the faintest shade of pink. Your heart warmed at the thought of Eren talking about you to his friends.

“Is that so?” you asked, now grinning at Eren.

He wouldn’t make eye contact with you, and your smile turned soft when you realized that he was actually embarrassed. It was a cute look on him.

You lightly brushed your fingers along Eren’s arm to reassure him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about and that you were happy to hear he thought you were important enough to talk about with his friends.

Eren finally looked at you when he felt you touch his arm, and when he saw the soft smile on your face, he relaxed slightly.

“Yo, Connie, are we going to play or what?” Jean shouted as he walked up to the table where you and Eren were standing.

Hitch had walked across the room to chat with Mikasa, but she ran up to the table when she heard Jean.

“Ooh, what are we playing?” she asked.

“Beer pong,” Jean replied as he began to move everything off of the table.

You heard the noise from the TV stop, and Connie walked over to the table to help Jean set up for the game. They placed red plastic cups in a triangle formation on either end of the table and then filled them.

“Do you want to play?” Eren asked.

You thought about it for a moment before saying, “I think I’ll just watch for now.”

Eren nodded, and then looked behind him at the couch that was situated against one of the walls.

“Want to sit?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said, and followed Eren towards the couch. As you walked, you opened your can of hard seltzer and took a drink.

Eren let you sit down first, and then he sat next to you. He angled his body on the couch so he was facing you.

You took one more drink and put the can on the floor in front of you. You looked at the table and saw that Hitch and Ymir had formed a team for the game and were playing against Reiner and Bertholdt. Mikasa and Historia were chatting and watching the game, while Jean and Connie explained the rules.

“You don’t want to play?” you asked Eren.

He shook his head and looked at the table where the game had started.

“Nah,” he replied. “It’s not my favorite game.”

You nodded, and then Eren turned his head to look at you.

“Besides,” he said, “I think I’d much rather sit here and talk to you.”

You smiled at Eren shyly in response, feeling your body become warm. You subtly moved closer to him on the couch. Eren noticed, and he also moved closer to you.

“I honestly still can’t believe that we go to the same school,” you told him.

Eren laughed and said, “Me either. It’s kinda funny how that happened.”

You heard Hitch make a noise of celebration, and you looked to see that Ymir had scored against Reiner and Bertholdt by throwing a ping pong ball into one of the cups on their side of the table. As per the rules of the game, Reiner drank the liquid from the cup Ymir had scored in.

“Who do you think is going to win?” Eren asked, laughing at Reiner’s expression as he downed the beer in the cup.

“Definitely Ymir and Hitch,” you replied.

Eren nodded in agreement, and then leaned back on the couch and casually draped his arm behind your shoulders. You raised an eyebrow at him, but Eren just smiled innocently. In response, you moved further back on the couch and settled into his arm.

You could feel the warmth from Eren’s body, and you didn’t think you’d ever felt more comfortable in your entire life.

“How are your classes? You said you’ve been busy,” Eren asked.

You nodded and turned your head to look at him.

“Yeah. I have a paper that I’ve been working on for my literature class,” you replied.

“That doesn’t sound fun,” Eren said.

You laughed and bent down to pick up your drink. You took another sip before replying.

“No. Not at all,” you said, and then added, “How about you?”

Eren shrugged his shoulders and said, “My classes are alright. Practice, on the other hand, has been kicking my ass.”

“When did you start playing soccer?” you asked, happy that you were getting the chance to learn more about him.

Eren tilted his head and thought for a moment.

“I think I started during my last year of junior high?” he said.

“So you played in high school, then?” you asked.

Eren nodded and then grinned.

“So many questions,” he said, and gently poked you in the side.

You swatted his hand away and Eren laughed.

“I didn’t see you for, like, six years,” you said indignantly. “You’ve changed, so sorry if I want to know some things.”

Eren raised his eyebrows.

“Oh? How have I changed?” he asked.

His question caught you off guard. There were a lot of things about Eren that had changed during the time you were apart, but you weren’t sure what to tell him.

“Uh, well, you play soccer now, which is new,” you said after a moment. “And you, uh, look different.”

You really hoped that Eren was going to drop the subject, but he grinned and leaned the slightest bit closer to you.

“Really?” he replied. “How so?”

You looked away from Eren and felt your body become hot.

“Well, you already know how I feel about the long hair,” you said after a moment. “And, uh, you just look different overall. It’s a good different—attractive different, I guess some might say.”

You didn’t even have time to process what you had just said before you felt Eren’s hand brush against yours. You hesitantly looked at him, feeling a tension start to build in the air between you and him.

Eren looked into your eyes for a second before asking, “Would that ‘some’ include you?”

You knew there was no point in denying it, so you nodded your head slowly.

“You know it does,” you said softly.

Eren smiled, and then used the arm he had around your shoulders to bring you closer to him.

“That’s good to know,” Eren said, and you could hear his voice right next to your ear. “And for the record,” he continued, “’some’ might say you’re attractive as well.”

You felt your heart start to race at his words, and you gave him a shy smile.

“That’s good to know,” you said.

Eren returned your smile, and you both became lost in each other’s gaze for a moment until Connie’s voice caused you to look away from each other.

“How the fuck did you miss that?!” Connie yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Jean.

It appeared that Hitch and Ymir had won their game against Reiner and Bertholdt, and were now playing against Connie and Jean.

“So it’s my fault that I missed?” Jean yelled back.

“Duh! Who else’s fault would it be?!”

“I’m your teammate, why are you yelling at me?!”

“Cause I want to win, and you suck at this!”

“What’d you say?!”

Before you knew what was happening, Jean and Connie were wrestling each other on the floor, knocking cups off of the table in the process. You couldn’t help but laugh at the amusing sight.

“Does this happen a lot?” you asked Eren.

He laughed and nodded in response.

“Yeah. Usually it’s Jean and I, though,” he admitted.

You were about to say something in response, but then you saw that Connie and Jean had stood up and were moving closer to you and Eren. They weren’t paying attention to their surroundings, and Jean shoved Connie backward right into the couch.

The couch was small, so Connie would have landed right on top of you had Eren not grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap.

“Shit, sorry,” Connie said with an apologetic smile on his face.

“It’s okay,” you replied, huffing out a laugh.

Connie looked at you, and then at Eren. He seemed to be piecing together who you were.

“I’m Connie, by the way. I swear we’re not always like this,” he said.

You smiled at Connie and told him your name.

He looked between you and Eren again and said, “Thought so.”

You couldn’t see him, but behind you, Eren rolled his eyes at being exposed yet again for talking about you to his friends.

“Are you guys done being stupid? Can we play?” Ymir called from the table.

Connie mumbled something under his breath and stood up. He lightly punched Jean’s shoulder as they walked back to finish the game.

It was only when Connie and Jean were gone that you realized that you were still sitting on Eren’s lap. He had his hands on your waist, and you sat for a second, debating whether or not you should move.

“Sorry about that. They’re idiots,” Eren said, and took his hands off of you to give you the opportunity to move if you wanted.

You didn’t move, however, and twisted your body so you could see Eren’s face.

“It’s fine, really. They seem like fun,” you replied.

Eren smiled, relieved that you didn’t hate his friends already. You smiled back, and then realized that you had been holding your drink this whole time. You leaned forward to put it back on the floor.

As soon as you put it down, you registered the position you had put yourself in. Eren was still sitting upright on the couch, and you were bent down in front of him, still sitting on his thighs. Your shirt had ridden up slightly when you bent over, and Eren’s eyes were fixed on the strip of bare skin on your back that was showing.

You sat back up slowly. When you were sitting upright again, you moved your ass back further onto Eren’s thighs. His hands moved back to your waist.

“There’s a whole couch, you know,” Eren said, his lips right next to your ear.

You grinned and adjusted yourself on Eren’s lap. You heard him make a soft noise when you did so.

“I’m aware,” you replied.

Everyone else in the room was either focused on the game or doing their own thing, so no one noticed when Eren moved his hands under your shirt. His fingers brushed against the bare skin above the waistline of your pants.

You felt your breathing become more rapid, and the light touch of Eren’s fingers on your skin set all of your nerves on fire.

You didn’t think that Eren was going to go any further, but then you felt him subtly, but purposely, lift his hips. It was a small movement, but it was enough to let you feel the sensation of his hips grinding into your ass.

You grabbed the hands he had under your shirt and tried to steady yourself. Your efforts were in vain, however, because Eren leaned forward to place a quick kiss to the back of your neck. You reached your breaking point.

“Eren,” you said, your voice almost a whisper.

“Yes?” he asked, saying your name.

You took a deep breath and then turned to face him.

“I think I’d like to see your room,” you told him.

Eren smiled and laced his fingers with yours.

“I’d love to show you,” he said.

You moved off of Eren’s lap and then you both stood up. Still holding his hand, you followed Eren quietly out of Connie’s room. If anyone noticed the two of you sneaking out, they didn’t say anything.

You could hear music and the sound of people talking coming from downstairs as Eren led you down the hallway. When he got to a particular door, he let go of your hand and took a key out of the pocket of his sweatpants.

“After you,” Eren said once he unlocked the door.

The overhead light in Eren’s room was turned off, so his room was lit by the strip of LED lights attached to the wall, and by the light coming in from the window.

You smiled as you looked around the room. There were posters of Eren’s favorite bands and sports teams on the walls, and there were other items around the room that gave it a distinctly “Eren” feel.

Eren shut the door and walked over to you.

“I hope it’s not too messy,” he said, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around the room.

You stepped closer to him and smiled.

“It’s perfect,” you replied

You wouldn’t even care if his room was messy. As long as Eren was here, everything was perfect.

Eren relaxed, and then he moved one of his hands forward to interlace his fingers with yours.

“I’m glad you decided to call me,” Eren said quietly.

“Me too,” you replied.

You weren’t sure who moved first after that, but it didn’t matter. As if there was some force pulling you together, you both slowly moved your faces closer while looking into each other’s eyes.

You sighed happily when you finally felt Eren’s lips meet yours. Eren smiled into the kiss and moved his hands to place them on your waist.

The kiss was gentle at first, the two of you moving your lips softly against each other. You wrapped your arms around Eren’s neck and brought your body even closer to his. The hands Eren had on your waist moved under your shirt, and you made a soft noise as you felt them run across the bare skin just above the waistline of your pants.

The kiss turned heated after that. Your breathing became heavy as you felt Eren’s tongue brush against yours. His hands moved from your waist and ran along your stomach before resting on your chest. You felt so warm from Eren’s touch, and you decided that there were way too many layers of clothing between you and him.

Eren smiled when he felt your hands move to the hem of his shirt. He lightly tugged on your lower lip with his teeth before starting to walk towards his bed. You let him move you backwards, your lips still attached, until you felt the back of your knees hit the bed.

You separated your mouth from Eren’s and sat down. Eren remained standing, his green eyes entirely focused on you. You watched in anticipation as Eren brought his hands to the hem of his shirt. He tugged it over his head and then threw it onto the ground once it was off. You inhaled sharply as you slowly looked down at the defined muscles of Eren’s stomach. His sweatpants were hanging low, so you could see his sharp v-lines leading under his pants.

Before you could stop yourself, you reached out and placed one of your hands on Eren’s torso. You felt his muscles flex under your touch as you ran your hand along his abs. When your hand reached his chest, you stopped and looked up at him. Eren had a smug expression on his face, clearly pleased by your appreciation of his body.

“Like what you see?” Eren asked, mimicking his words from the gym.

“Very much,” you replied.

Eren smiled and then grabbed both of your hands. He moved forward onto the bed so he was on top of you and had your arms pinned on either side of your head.

You looked at Eren for a moment, appreciating the way he looked kneeling over you, and then leaned up to kiss him. He responded right away, his tongue dipping into your mouth. You moved your hands in Eren’s grip to let him know that you wanted him to let go so you could touch him.

Eren released your arms, and your hands immediately moved to his back to feel the smooth, muscled skin there. Eren moved his head and began to kiss along your neck and jaw. His hair was tied up, so you moved your hands to the hair at the back of his neck. Eren hummed in appreciation when he felt your fingers run through the soft strands of his hair.

Continuing to kiss your neck, Eren moved his hands to the hem of your shirt. He pushed it up so your stomach was exposed, and then he moved his mouth off of your neck to look at you for a second.

You smiled at him and pulled the shirt over your head. Eren’s eyes looked over your exposed skin, and you felt yourself become shy under his gaze.

“This what you had in mind when you called?” Eren asked.

“Uh, I don’t really know what I had in mind,” you said. “I just wanted to see you.”

A beautiful smile spread across Eren’s face, and he leaned down to kiss you. You realized that both you and he still had shoes on, so you quickly kicked yours off and moved back further onto the bed. Eren took off his sneakers and then climbed back on top of you.

He began to kiss your neck again, and then he slowly moved his way down your body. He kissed the place where your neck and shoulder connected, and you felt his teeth graze your collar bone.

After a few seconds, you felt his mouth on the top of your breasts which weren’t covered by your bra, and then you moaned softly when you felt Eren begin to kiss his way down your stomach. He kept going until he reached the top of your pants. He looked up at you, and you saw that his green eyes were now dark with desire.

“Can I?” he asked, moving his hands under the waistband of your pants.

“Please,” you said.

Eren smirked and then slowly pulled your pants down your legs. Once they were off, he threw them to the side and moved back up your body. He kissed you, and you moaned when you felt his hand move over the fabric of your underwear.

You knew he could feel how turned on you were from the dampness, but you didn’t care. You moved one of your hands to the front of Eren’s sweatpants, and you knew he felt just the same as you. His cock was straining against the fabric of his sweats, and you began to push them down.

Eren sat up to help you take them off, and he threw them in the same direction as he had your pants. Eren was wearing black boxer-briefs, and you felt the ache between your thighs intensify as you looked down at his crotch.

Eren leaned forward to kiss you again, and his fingers dipped underneath your underwear. You moaned as you felt Eren’s fingers move over your slick center, and you wrapped your legs loosely around his waist.

You kissed Eren’s neck as he continued to move his fingers over you, and then you felt him push one finger inside, which caused you to bite down on his neck. You heard Eren groan, and he began to move his finger in and out. The friction of Eren’s finger inside of you felt so good, and you thrusted your hips to feel it even more.

Eren added a second finger soon after and continued his movements. You were breathing hard into his neck, and he turned his head to look at you.

“Feels good?” he asked.

“Fuck yes,” you groaned out.

Eren smirked, and then started to thrust his fingers even deeper inside of you.

“You feel so good just around my fingers,” Eren said breathlessly.

You moaned as you heard him speak, and you looked down to see his fully hard cock straining against his boxers. The sight made you clench hard around Eren’s fingers, and you put a hand on Eren’s arm to get his attention.

“Hold on a sec,” you said.

Eren immediately stopped his movements and looked at you, an expression of slight concern on his face.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

You nodded and said, “Yep. Just need to do this.”

You reached down to your underwear and pushed it the rest of the way down your thighs. Eren watched as you did so. Once you had thrown it to the side, you looked at Eren, and maintained eye contact with him as you reached behind yourself to unclasp your bra.

You threw that to the side, too, and Eren took in your entire naked body.

“Like what you see?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.

Your voice brought Eren out of his trance, and he grinned.

“You know it,” he replied.

He leaned down and kissed you, and you brought your hands to his back. You scratched his skin lightly when you felt one of his fingers move between your thighs and brush against your clit.

He moved his finger in small motions over the sensitive bundle of nerves, and you felt your thoughts cloud over with arousal. Although you already felt so good, you needed Eren inside of you fully.

“Eren,” you said, finding it hard to speak.

“Mhmm?” he hummed.

You ground your hips up into Eren’s, and he stopped the movement of his fingers.

“Please fuck me,” you pleaded, saying the words directly into his ear.

You saw Eren’s eyes widen slightly at your request. He brought one of his hands to your cheek.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

You nodded and wrapped your legs around him.

“Completely,” you said.

Eren smiled, and then kissed you fiercely. His hips ground down into yours, and you both let out breathy sounds. You moved your hands to Eren’s boxers and pushed them down. Eren sat up to push them the rest of the way down, and then threw them with your other discarded clothing.

The ache between your legs only grew when you saw Eren’s hard cock fully exposed and thought about how it would feel inside of you.

Eren reached into the small nightstand by his bed and took out a condom. He rolled it onto himself and then turned back to you. You reached for him, and Eren laughed as he kissed you.

He settled in between your hips, making you gasp when you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance. You wrapped your legs tightly around Eren’s waist, and you shut your eyes as you felt him push inside you. The stretch was slightly uncomfortable at first, but Eren went slow until his cock was all the way inside.

As you adjusted to his size, the stretch was no longer uncomfortable, and instead felt amazing.

“You okay?” Eren asked, waiting for confirmation that he could move.

“Yes,” you said, and moved your hips to let Eren know that it was okay for him to move.

Eren groaned, and then began to pull his hips back. Once just the tip of his cock was inside of you, he thrusted forward. You both moaned at the feeling.

Eren repeated the motion again and again, thrusting deeper into you each time. You brought your lips to his as he snapped his hips into you, and you met each of his thrusts with your own.

The feeling of Eren inside of you was better than you could have ever imagined. He stretched your cunt perfectly and hit the sensitive spot inside of you with every thrust.

“Shit—” Eren groaned, as he felt you clench around his cock, muttering your name as well as other expletives.

You felt the ache between your thighs begin to grow rapidly, and then Eren moved one of his hands to rub your clit with his fingers. The combination of Eren stimulating your clit and him buried deep inside you had you rushing quickly to orgasm.

“Fuck, Eren. I’m gonna cum,” you told him.

He nodded and kept up the pace of his thrusts.

“Me too,” he said, but was determined to hold out until you finished first.

You tightened your legs around Eren’s waist and pulled yourself closer to him. The two of you kissed messily as the movements of Eren’s hips became more frantic. You gasped when he pushed your legs up towards your chest, the new angle allowing him to go even deeper. You closed your eyes and let your body fully relax, allowing the pleasure to build between your legs until it hit its peak.

You came with a soft cry and Eren’s name on your tongue, and you felt your muscles clench around his cock as your orgasm washed over you. Eren thrusted into you a few more times until his hips stuttered and he reached his climax as well. Eren’s head dropped down next to yours as he came, and you could hear his moans mixed with your name as he released into the condom.

You stayed in that position for a few seconds, both of you exhausted and breathing heavy. You gently ran your hand along Eren’s back in a soothing motion, and he hummed contently. After a few seconds, he moved his head to look at your face.

“You okay?” he asked, and kissed you softly.

You smiled and reached up to brush the loose strands of hair out of Eren’s face.

“Very okay,” you replied.

Eren smiled lazily, and then his body dropped further into yours.

“You’re kinda heavy, though,” you added, grunting at his weight on top of you.

Eren didn’t respond, and you began to lightly hit his shoulder.

“Eren, moveeee,” you encouraged.

In response, Eren wrapped his arms around your back and moved his head to the crook of your neck.

“Don’t want to,” Eren said, his breath tickling your skin.

You couldn’t help but smile at his clinginess, finding it adorable. As tempting as it was to lie with Eren longer, you had to use the bathroom, and should probably see what your friends were doing.

“Please Eren,” you pleaded once more.

He groaned, but relented and pulled out of you. You immediately missed the feeling of him inside of you as he sat up and tied off the condom, throwing it into the trash can by his bed. After a moment, you mustered up the strength to stand, and you stepped off of Eren’s bed.

Eren picked your clothes up off the floor and handed them to you. You thanked him, and then you both began to get dressed. You could hear music from downstairs and the sound of people talking, so you assumed there was a party going on.

“Do you need to use the bathroom or something?” Eren asked once you were dressed.

You nodded, and then followed Eren out of the room. He led you down the hallway you had walked through earlier until he stopped in front of the door to the bathroom.

“Go ahead,” he said.

“Thanks,” you replied, and smiled at him before walking into the bathroom.

Once you were finished, you washed your hands and looked into the mirror over the sink. You looked absolutely wrecked, but it made you smile.

Eren was waiting outside for you, typing something on his phone, but he looked up when you walked towards him.

“Should we see what everyone else is doing?” you asked.

He nodded, and then you walked down the hallway to Connie’s room. The door was shut, and you didn’t hear any of the music that had been playing earlier.

“Hmm,” Eren said. “They probably went downstairs to join the party.”

You took out your phone to see if you had any texts, and sure enough, Hitch, as well as Historia and Ymir, had sent you multiple messages with excessive winkey-face emojis letting you know that they had gone downstairs. You rolled your eyes fondly and put your phone back in your pocket.

“Yeah they did,” you told Eren.

“Thought so,” he said, and then he paused. “Did you want to join them?”

You considered it for a moment, but your body felt tired and all you really wanted to do was relax in your bed.

“I think I’ll go back to my dorm. I’m kinda tired,” you said.

Eren nodded understandingly.

“I’ll walk you back,” he replied, and then took your hand.

You felt your face heat up at the sweet gesture.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said shyly.

Eren just tightened his hand around yours and turned to walk down the hallway.

“I want to,” he said.

You smiled at Eren and followed him through the house and down the stairs. When you got to the main floor, you saw that there were people everywhere enjoying the party that was going on.

Some people came up to Eren to say hi to him, and he continued to hold your hand as he greeted them in return and walked towards the front door of the house. He pushed it open, and you followed him outside.

“Where is your dorm?” Eren asked.

You told him the name of your dorm building, and then you began to walk there together.

The walk was peaceful, and you enjoyed the feeling of the night air as you walked beside Eren. You looked over at him and smiled, and he smiled back and put an arm around your shoulder.

Eventually, you reached your dorm building, and you paused when you got to the entrance.

“Thanks for walking me back,” you said.

“No problem,” Eren replied, smiling softly.

As you looked at him, the words of the question you wanted to ask were on the tip of your tongue. It had been on your mind ever since what happened between you and him in the locker room.

What is going on between us?

You weren’t sure if it was just sex, or if Eren wanted something else out of it. As much as you wanted to know, something stopped you from asking. You didn’t want to potentially ruin the night with a response from Eren that you wouldn’t like.

“I had fun tonight. Thanks for inviting me,” you said instead.

Eren nodded and put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Me too. I’m glad you came,” he said.

You both stood there for a moment longer, neither one of you really wanting to say goodbye. You saw Eren take a small step towards you, and you took one towards him.

Before you knew what was happening, your lips were crashing against Eren’s as you kissed each other fiercely right in front of your dorm building. You clawed at Eren’s shirt and his hands ran up and down your back.

You weren’t sure how long you and Eren stayed like that, but eventually, you parted your mouths from each other to breathe.

Eren rested his forehead against yours.

“Goodnight, Eren,” you said breathlessly.

“Goodnight,” he replied, saying your name softly.

You reluctantly pulled away from him, knowing that if you didn’t do it then, you never would. Eren smiled at you once more before turning to walk away. You smiled back at him as you watched him walk down the street.

Your lips were still tingling from the kiss, and you smiled to yourself as you walked into your dorm for the night.

Read Part 5 here

[writhingcreature]

Breathe ~ the Doctor (part 3)

A/n: Sorry that I’m fixating on this series I just? I love this idea a lot lol. Also, I know I posted this on the wrong account but it would literally be like an extra half hour of work to fix this and I am not in the MOOD so I hope y’all can forgive my idiocy lmao

Word Count: 9100+

MASTERLIST

"What are you laughing at?" Y/n demanded, his face going red at Rose's giggles which had not stopped since Y/n had walked in the room.

The blonde shook her head, thoroughly amused it seemed. "You've been around the Doctor too much!" She accused. "Since when do you wear white button up shirts? Long sleeves and collar and all."

Y/n seemed suddenly defensive. "I like it, and I made it my own. See, no jacket, and I roll my sleeves up! With a nice vest, I could pass as a business man at the end of the day, or a farmer, or whatever." He sighed, allowing himself a smile. "Everywhere we go is never we expect to be. How many times have you gone running about in something not fitting for the time we turn up at? No matter where we go, the Doctor always fits in. I thought maybe taking after him would do me some good." He shrugged. "Makes me feel more professional too."

Rose gave a short chuckle once more before letting a long breath out as she looped her arm with Y/n. Y/n didn't know what Casandra had done to their little group, but ever since the trio had parted in that hallway when Y/n had stayed behind with Chip, things had been very different between him, Rose, and the Doctor. Y/n and the Doctor had long since stopped correcting people when they were called a couple. The Doctor and Rose as well. Y/n and Rose though... they'd been friends so long. Two people teetering on an edge they both tried not to fall over, thinking the other person didn't care at all. Yet here they were, secretly in love with each other this whole time. What a pair of fools.

"Well you look good in it, I won't lie. Especially with the sleeves rolled up,"  Rose complimented.

Y/n looked at her, his face colored with amusement but also embarrassment at her kind words. "What is it with men wearing collared button ups, sleeves rolled up, that does it for so many people?"

Shrugging was as much of an answer as Y/n got from Rose, because just then the pair arrived back in the main controls room. Where they were within earshot of the Doctor. The man turned around when they entered, and stopped short when he saw Y/n. "Well you look..." Y/n blushed even harder and Rose looked between the two men before scoffing.

"Oh, you two. Tell him he looks nice Doctor, you look silly like that, not saying how you feel when everyone knows what you're thinking anyway."

The Doctor cleared his throat. "You look very nice, Y/n."

"Thank you, Doctor," Y/n replied.

Rose dropped his arm, moving further into the room to divert attention from the sudden awkwardness. It really didn't make sense. The Doctor had been romantically involved plenty of times, Y/n knew that for fact. Speaking of, Y/n had as well. The Doctor had even been married and had children. That had been ages though... perhaps he was rusty when it came to romance. Maybe it was just Y/n, who was far less experienced and completely clueless how to treat a situation where the rules were not as clear as the feelings they had for each other. They had all this energy, but no idea how to utilize it. Rose, as usual, was the one who seemed to be able to handle it. Perhaps it was that she'd been in several serious relationships, but she always directed that unspoken energy in the right direction, then let it go when it was time. She had perfect timing, actually. It was rather impressive.

"What about my outfit, Doctor? Do you think it'll do?" She asked casually.

As always, the Doctor took the opportunity to change the subject. Y/n wondered passively if things between them would have really gone anywhere without Rose. God, what would they do without her? "The late 1970's?" The Doctor thought aloud, returning Y/n's mind to what was happening now. "You'd be better off in a bin bag. Hold on, listen to this," he added in a rush to cover his rather rude comment.

Rock music began playing suddenly, and everyone's attention turned to that. "I've heard this before. My mum used to listen to it."

Rose looked at Y/n in surprise, but the Doctor knew what it meant to far too casually bring up people one had lost and not want it looked at further, so he was the one who continued the conversation to other things this time. "Ian Dury and the Blockheads," he said with a grin. "Number on in 1979! Your mum had a popular taste, Y/n."

At that Rose got rather bright, her smile so wide that you could hear it when she spoke. "You're a punk!" The Doctor began to sing, and Y/n joined him, both of them grinning at each other as they had their fun with the music. "You both are, I can't believe it. A pair of punks. You, Doctor, are specifically some old punk with a bit of rockabilly thrown in."

"Do you want to go see him?" The Doctor asked, enjoying the banter.

Leaning against one of the rails, Y/n watched the two in quiet amusement as he often did with them. They talked too much for Y/n to keep up with. He was usually at a slower pace than them, and he preferred to watch them go at it anyway. "How do you mean?" Rose asked. "In concert?"

"Well what else is the TARDIS for?" The Doctor pointed out. "Also, Y/n, don't just stand there. You need to be watching me I said, you have to learn what I'm doing and then I'll teach you why I'm doing it and what everything means. You learn by doing I know, but you have to watch first."

Y/n smirked. "Oh don't worry Doctor, I'm watching plenty."

"Oi!" The Doctor pointed a warning finger at Y/n, but his face was not angry as much as it was red like Y/n's had been before. "Behave, you."

"I think not," Y/n disregarded.

"I'm sorry are we ignoring the fact that we might go to a concert in the 1970's? How cool would that be Y/n? I bet your mum would love that."

Y/n darkened a bit. "No, my mum hated crowds. She did like the music though." It wasn't bitter, but thoughtful. The same tone the Doctor used when he talked about his old life, before the Time War. Rose had noticed how similar the men were becoming. More and more very day, and quickly too.

"You know, I can take you anywhere," the Doctor told Y/n. Anywhere in space, but also in time. In the past. We can watch all the greatest moments of history, no problem. We're not just here to fix the world, we could just learn to. Take an easy trip for once."

There was something Y/n had been wanting to see for ages. Ever since Rose had seen her dad, way back when he died and she held him. Back before the Doctor was this man who he was now. He knew he couldn't do it though. Not because he would try and save his parents - he had learned from Rose. No, he just didn't want the Doctor or Rose to see back then. He didn't want them to know. He had been curious though... For so long. He couldn't remember them much, and had forgotten their voices ages ago.

"I'd like a concert," Y/n answered. "What do you think, Rose?"

She gave a small smile, as if she'd seen Y/n's thoughts in that moment but was too polite to call him out. "Ian Durey and the Blockheads it is." The TARDIS jerked when the Doctor began to go, but that was usual. What was not usual, was when the Doctor took a hammer from under the desk and began to slam parts of the control panel with it. Needless to say, when they all landed Y/n was the first one out. He felt annoyed seeing that. Even... a little sick to his stomach. He didn't know why - he'd never been motion sick before. He thought best not to question it.

Not that he wasn't plenty distracted when he and the other two exited the TARDIS to realize they were absolutely not anywhere near a concert being set up in 1979. In fact, they were in-

"1879," the Doctor realized when they were faced with men on horses wearing red coats and cocking guns they pointed into the trio's faces. "Same difference." Y/n glared at him, but the Doctor only winked in response.

"You will explain your presence," one of the armed men demanded. "And the nakedness of this girl." Y/n smirked and as if sensing it, without looking over, Rose elbowed him. Now was not the time to be flaunting how right he had been to dress the way he had, and not the way he usually did.

When the Doctor spoke again, he had a Scottish accent on and Y/n's eyes widened in surprise. Since when could he do that? "Are we in Scotland?"

"How can you be ignorant of that?" The same man spoke again, seeming seconds away of shooting them all. Y/n wasn't concerned for himself... except he had no idea how to explain why the bullets wouldn't kill him. The more pressing matter was definitely the other two though.

The Doctor began to bullshit and Y/n felt his muscles tense. "Oh- I- I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this wee naked child over hill and over dale. My partner is usually the navigator, so I trust him to lead the way." The Doctor motioned to Y/n with a head tilt, then looked at Rose. "Isn't that right, you timorous beastie?" He seemed a little hesitant, and Y/n had the thought pass of how fast he'd have to move to cover both of them when the bullets began firing.

Rose only made it worst. "Och, aye. I've been... oot about aboot."

"Please stop," Y/n whispered, shaking his head. Y/n hadn't heard many Scottsmen speak, but after the Doctor's fairly believable go at it, her complete failure was even clear to him.

"Hoots, mon?" Rose tried again.

"No Y/n's right, seriously, stop," the Doctor followed up.

The man on the horse spoke again. "Will you identify yourself, sir?"

"I'm Doctor James McCrimmon from the township of Balamory," the Doctor answered, switching gears again immediately. "I have my credentials if I may?" He moved his hand toward his pocket, drawing out his psychic paper when given the go ahead. He flashed it at the man. "As you can see, a doctorate from the University of Edinburgh." He showed it around willingly, and Y/n felt quite proud of the Doctor's ability to pull off a lie. Not to those who knew him, but when it mattered at least. "I trained under Doctor Bell himself."

Suddenly a woman's voice rang out. "Let them approach."

The uniformed man hesitated. "I don't think that's wise, ma'am."

"Let them approach," the woman demanded again, this time with attitude.

Obviously he didn't want to, but the woman must have been the final say because he finally conceded with, "You will approach the carriage, and show all due deference."

So they approached. The carriage door opened and there sat an older woman who looked rather comfortable in the company of strangers. "Rose, Y/n," the Doctor began. "Might I introduce you to Her Majesty Queen Victoria, Empress of India and Defender of the Faith."

"Oh my god," Y/n whispered, eyes widening. Aliens were one thing, but someone so staple in their own history? That was what tripped Y/n up, out of all the things they'd seen. This was just too close to home. Too hard to separate and look at logically.

Rose handled it better. "Rose Tyler, ma'am," she greeted politely. "And... my apologies, for being so naked."

"I've had five daughters," the Queen dismissed. "It's nothing to me. Who's the young man on the other side of you now, who looks at me as if I've grown three heads?"

This time it was the Doctor who elbowed Y/n. "I-" Y/n cleared his throat. "Y/n, ma'am. Sorry."

She smiled, obviously enjoying herself. "No worries." Her eyes moved to the Doctor. "How about you, Doctor? Why don't you show me those credentials?" He did, handing them over. "Why didn't you say so immediately?" She seemed baffle,d and suddenly Y/n was nervous as to what she'd found. "It states clearly here that you've been appointed by the Lord Provost as my protector."

"Does it?" He looked at Y/n, who shrugged. "Yes he does," he continued, more confident. "Good. Good. Erm, then let me ask, why is Your Majesty travelling by road when there's a train all the way in Aberdeen?"

"A tree on the line," she answered smoothly.

"By accident?" The Doctor pressed.

Queen Victoria seemed to find that question tiresome. "I am the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Everything around me tends to be planned?"

"An assassination attempt?" The Doctor seemed to be trying to understand something that seemed trivial to Y/n, but he had long since learned to not question the Doctor.

"What seriously?" Rose seemed stunned, just as Y/n was gathering his senses, as if she'd taken it into her to give him a break. "There's people out to kill you?"

"I'm quite used to staring down the barrel of a gun," the Queen reassured, though it wasn't reassuring at all.

The man on the horse from earlier spoke again. "Sir Robert Macleish lives but ten miles hence. We've sent word ahead. He'll shelter us for tonight, then we can reach our destination in the morning."

"This Doctor and his... timorous beastie will come with us." There was humor in her eyes. "As well as the silent one." Y/n ducked his head in embarrassment. The guard, which seemed to be what the man on the horse was, accepted that and then got them all moving again. He made a comment about the coming of nightfall, and Y/n found himself pleasantly surprised when the Queen responded, "Indeed. And there are stories of wolves in these parts. Fanciful tales, intended to scare children, but good for the blood I think." She looked ahead. "Drive on."

They all began walking and Y/n felt himself get awkward with all the guards watching him and he moved closer to the Doctor, nearly reaching out to take the man's hand. And then a few guards gave him a look of startled disgust and Y/n remembered what time they were in and felt a pang in his chest. He had to pretend all over again. The Doctor and Rose could be together wherever they were - whenever - but Y/n had to restrain himself. He dropped behind at the thought, distracting the movement that had been him about to reach out as pushing hair out of his face. It didn't fool the guards who knew what he had been doing anyway, so Y/n dropped back behind the Doctor and Rose. They looked at him but he just looked away, swallowing his awkwardness.

They arrived toward evening. The Queen was helped out as the Master of the house approached. "Your Majesty," the man greeted, bowing deeply.

"Sir Robert," the Queen returned brightly. "My apologies for the emergency. And how is Lady Isobel?"

"She's..." And then he hesitated, and Y/n felt in his gut that same feeling he always got when he felt something was wrong. He found himself questioning whether the man's wife was sick, or something else entirely was going on. "Indisposed, I'm afraid. She's gone to Edinburgh for the season.." He hesitated again, and Y/n felt that same pang. This time he was quite sure something was wrong. "And she's taken the cook with her, the kitchens are barely stocked. I wouldn't blame Your Majesty if you wanted to ride on."

"Not at all," the Queen chuckled. "I've had quite enough carriage exercise, and this is charming, if rustic. It's my first visit to this house. My late husband spoke of it often, the Torchwood Estate."

At that Y/n jerked. "I'm sorry, the what Estate?" Everyone looked at him like he'd gone mad.

"Torchwood," Sir Robert answered. "It was my father's house." The Queen hadn't objected to Y/n cutting in, so the man continued. The way Y/n was looking at him, Sir Robert seemed to see that the man was thinking, and thinking was what he needed in that moment. "It's a very old house you see. Lots of dangers in the old wood. That's why my wife est you see. She's grown tired of the keep up and needed a break. Are you sure you don't want to continue?" The man looked directly into Y/n's eyes and Y/n felt his heart stop. What was he trying to tell him?

"Quite sure," Queen Victoria interrupted. "Now, shall we go inside?" Sir Robert fought a frown when he nodded, seeming to want to run away. The panic in his eyes was so clear to Y/n, he was shocked no one else could see it. Y/n couldn't interrupt the Queen again though - he'd already tested his boundary. They began to go in, Y/n's mind racing as he scanned the Estate, looking for something out of place.

Then his eyes landed on the staff. They were all bald, and staring at Y/n like they wanted to destroy him. The Doctor moved up next to Y/n. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Y/n responded. "Yet." Despite how he wanted to stop it, he had no reason other than his gut feeling. What was he to do but be wary if nothing else? So they went inside.

The group headed for a room with what looked to be a gigantic telescope. "And this," the Queen began. "I take it, is the famous endeavor."

"All my father's work," Sir Robert answered. "Built by his hand in his final years. It became something of an obsession. He spent his money on this, rather than caring for the house himself."

"I wish I'd met him, I like him." The Doctor was smiling and Y/n almost rolled his eyes. He'd know all about obsessions overtaking your personal life, wouldn't he? "The thing's beautiful, can I..." He motioned to the telescope.

"Help yourself," Sir Robert allowed.

Rose and the Doctor surged forward to inspect it, but Y/n hung back, slowly dawdling past the butlers who were standing too close to just be there for no reason. The others began to talk, but Y/n focused on them. "You guys follow your Master around a lot, don't you?"

The bald man in front responded. "How else are we to attend to his needs?"

Y/n shrugged. "I suppose that's fair, except didn't Sir Robert say that the kitchens were poorly staffed and understocked? Doesn't it make sense that you'd be cleaning such a large estate, or working in those kitchens which seem to need such work?"

Eyes locked hard, it seemed to be a contest to see who'd blink first. The man was obviously impressed when Y/n won, if still irritated in Y/n's pressing. "Are you disapproving of how I do my job?"

Shrugging casually, Y/n stepped past them finally. "Not my right to do so. That would be Sir Robert's right to say or not say."

"What about me now?" Sir Robert piped up.

"I was just saying that your staff hovering so much surprises me, since you were stating how the kitchens needed some help. I of course don't mean to offend or tell you how to run things, Sir Robert. I..." He hesitated, the lie coming to him too easily. "I come from a rather poor family. I don't know how things like this works, and it fascinates me."

Sir Robert was the only one who saw through the lie - other than Rose, who was paying attention closely now, cued into Y/n's habits that showed when he was suspicious about something. Sir Robert hesitated, as if considering using the excuse to dismiss the men, but then decided against it - that same fear flashing in his eyes again. "I like to have them around. With my wife gone, they keep me company."

Y/n nodded in understanding, but the two men locked eyes and Y/n knew immediately. There was something up here. It seemed too late though. He had no proof and if these men were dangerous enough to control Sir Robert so in his own house, they'd doomed themselves the second they walked in the door. Y/n had to be careful about this - especially because it seemed he's just placed a huge target on his back.

The Doctor spoke, shifting the subject. "It's a bit rubbish." Only then did they all remember the telescope. Even the Queen had been distracted, looking between Sir Robert and Y/n like she was picking up on the signals between the two men, but didn't know what they meant. "How many prisms has it got? Way too many!" The Doctor stood from where he'd been crouched to inspect the instrument before. "The magnification's over the top. That's a stupid kind of..." He turned to Rose. "Am I being rude again?"

"Yep," she confirmed, smiling.

"But it's pretty!" The Doctor continued. "Really, it's very pretty."

Y/n got distracted after that, his mind wandering as he ran through all the possibilities to try and figure out what was happening. He could talk to the Doctor later to get feedback, but he'd at least like to have some theories to throw out when the time came. They weren't aliens, surely. The Doctor seemed to be able to pick up on that sort of thing eventually. If that was the case, Y/n sure wouldn't know. What else could it be.

Someone nudged Y/n and he looked up to see Sir Robert of all people. He had reached out to touch Y/n. "You Doctor seems interested in children's stories and magic and the stars. How do you put up with him?" He was making a joke, but that's not why he had gotten Y/n's attention to tell it.

Smiling came easy. He knew Sir Robert had the answers and that he wanted to tell Y/n. All he could do for now was give hints, and that's all Y/n needed for now. "Stories, eh? I like those myself. What kind of stories."

"One about a wolf around these parts, like I told you about in the carriage," the Queen answered. The fact that Sir Roberts purposefully stayed quiet made Y/n listen more than it seemed he was supposed to. "His father and my husband were quite fond of it, and the Doctor asked him to tell it to us. I'd be lying if I said i wasn't curious myself, actually."

"It's said that-" Sir Roberts began.

"Excuse me, sir." the bald man from earlier interrupted, and when Y/n and Sir Roberts locked eyes again, Y/n looked over carefully, taking in the man, trying to pull secrets out with just a look. "Perhaps Her Majesty's party could go their rooms now. It's almost dark."

"Well that was rude," Y/n spoke up. Again all eyes were on him, and this time the Doctor and Y/n were picking up on the way Y/n and the bald man were glaring at each other, eyes locked. "The Master of the house was talking, and he was just about to tell us something very interesting. Even I wait until people are done talking, and I'm considered insolent." There was tangible tension in the room. Tension that seemed apparent only to those who could pick up on Y/n's small tells, and those who knew first hand that this was not as it appeared."

"Please forgive me, sir," the man apologized flatly. There was a threat in his voice, one that made Y/n go silent - especially when Sir Robert shot him a panicked look. "I only figured that you'd all want to rest before dinner."

Damn, that was a good excuse.

"What a lovely idea," the Queen gleefully spoke. "And some clothes for Miss Tyler, perhaps. Sir Robert, surely your wife left something behind?" The man nodded. "See to it. We shall dine at 7, and talk more of this.. wolf." At that the bald man simmered, and Y/n realized the connection. "After all, there is a full moon tonight."

Y/n's eyes widened. He had to hear this story... though, he didn't think he did have to actually.

The Doctor followed Y/n to his room. "This isn't where you'll be staying Doctor," one of the bald men said.

"I'll find it in a bit, just leave the door open. I need to find my friend." The man dressed as a butler hesitated, but couldn't find a good enough reason to stop this from happening, so he nodded and left. When the door closed behind them and they were safe from those outside, the Doctor rounded on Y/n. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"The stories they mentioned earlier? They're true, and the men - the bald men - they're in one it. I don't think Sir Robert's wife is even gone off for some weather or old house, I think she's captured. Or dead." He shook his head. "I have no proof, only hunches and small noticings. But I'm telling you, Doctor. A wolf that only comes out on the full moon? The way the man interrupted Sir Robert from sharing the story. I think it's true, and I think it's coming after us tonight." It dawned on him then. "Or... after the Queen. No one else here alive is important, who should be here."

The Doctor considered all of this. "I believe you Y/n, I do. But we need proof, and that means we need to lay low and play innocent. You're brilliant, all you've gathered in such short time. I need you a bit longer before they try to kill you though and everything goes wrong. Do you trust me?" Y/n nodded immediately.

Rather unexpectedly, the Doctor grabbed Y/n's face and pulled him into a kiss then. He stepped backward, pressing his back to the door. Y/n kissed him back instantly, leaning into him. He hesitated, but when the Doctor kept kissing him, he found himself unable to help himself getting lost in it. His fingers threaded into the Doctor's hair and pulled their bodies closer. The Doctor's hands wandered, pulling and tugging on Y/n's shirt.

Just as quickly as it began, the kiss stopped and the Doctor was pushing him away. "Alright." The his voice was a little lower, his eyes blown just a bit. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

Y/n scoffed. "You snogged me like that to, what, blow off steam?"

The Doctor bit his lip, shaking his head before orienting his thoughts again. "I needed a reason to be in here that wouldn't incriminate us. They can suspect you know something, so you keep the attention on you. You're the diversion. While they're worried about you finding out, I'll poke around and see what I can find. They won't expect me because-"

"They'll only think you came in here to snog me," Y/n realized.

"Not a thing you can fake, the results of that. It leaves a nice touch, the blown out eyes and the... the lips." Y/n realized that the Doctor's lips were a little bit more red than usual. "Anyway, pleasure and business mix every once in a while - grand time when it does. See you at dinner."

Y/n rested his forehead on the door when the Doctor left.

What in the world was he going to do with this man?

The smile hadn't left his face when he sat down for dinner, and despite him straightening his shirt, there was still a heat to his face. The Doctor wasn't much better. The affects were missed by everyone who wasn't paying attention, but were picked up by the ones that mattered. The butlers who obviously were not butlers. And the Doctor's planned seemed to work. They immediately dismissed the Doctor and focused their attention on Y/n. He was probably in danger... not that he could die, which would hopefully be the worst thing that could happen tonight.

The man who seemed to be in charge of the bald men stepped forward, speaking as he had when he'd challenged Y/n earlier and lost. "Your companion begs an apology. Her clothing has somewhat delayed her." Y/n's heart stopped. His grip on the table turned his knuckles white.

By some miracle, the Doctor seemed as if he had no worries at all. "Oh, that's alright. Save her a wee bit of ham." Y/n's mind was racing again, his eyes focusing on Sir Robert. The man seemed to be apologetic, but not too sorrowful. Y/n was picking up on the man's emotions quickly as he watched him more and more. He only hoped he was right. Either way, it really didn't matter. Either Rose was trapped and they had time to work this out and save her, or... she was too far past saving to take risks anyway. And if Y/n left this room, he'd be doing it alone, and that would put him in line next to be carted away. The Doctor needed some help at the very least.

"Besides, we're all waiting on Sir Robert!" the Doctor exclaimed, breaking the men out of their stare and grabbing their attention again. "You promised us a tale of nightmares."

"Indeed," Victoria agreed. "Since my husband's death I find myself with more of a taste for supernatural fiction."

"You must miss him," the Doctor vocalized. It was then that Y/n thought back to the first time the Doctor lost someone. His own wife, even. The mother of his children... If anyone understood, it would be him. The Doctor understood loss better than anyone.

As if seeing that understanding in the man across from her, the Queen allowed herself a moment to be vulnerable. It was a very Y/n thing to do. Perhaps... Y/n was influencing the Doctor, the same way the Doctor was influencing Y/n. "Oh, completely." She paused, the air in the room growing heavy with emotion. "And that's the charm of a ghost story, isn't it? Not the scares and chills, that's just for children, but the hope pf some contact with the great beyond. We all want some message from that place. It's the Creator's greatest mystery that we're allowed no such consolation." Her eyes became far away and Y/n looked at his hands. What would he have left behind if he'd never become immortal? What would people leave behind with him, when their time came? That thought. The thought of realizing yet again that he was going to lose one person after the other forever... except the Doctor. They were all the other had left now. The only person they each had a chance of keeping forever. "The dead stay silent, and we must wait." Her voice grew small, and then she shook her head and switched gears to being chipper once more. "Come, begin your tale, Sir Robert. There's a chill in the air. The wind is howling. Tell us of monsters."

Under the table, Y/n let his knuckles rub against the Doctor's hand softly. In response, the brunette man turned his palm upward, allowing Y/n to interlace their fingers. Both relaxed.

"The story goes back three hundred years," Sir Robert began. "Every full moon the howling rings through the valley. Next morning, live stock is found ripped apart and d-" he cut off, that same terrified look crossing his face. "Devoured." Y/n felt his leg twitch.

The head of the guard laughed off the spook in the air by saying, "Oh, tales like this just disguise the work of thieves. Steal a sheep and blame a wolf - simple as that."

Robert was having none of that. "But sometimes a child goes missing," he insisted, pushing it to try and drive his point home. It seemed to be written off as dramatics by everyone else in the room. Everyone except Y/n who was listening intently, and the Doctor, who Y/n knew was listening even though he gave no note of it. "Once in a generation, a boy will vanish from his homestead.

Y/n knew the man holding his hand had questions, but if they were going the route of keeping attention on Y/n, Y/n had to be the one to ask. "Is there anything that tells what this thing looks like?"

"Drawings and wood carvings," Sir Robert affirmed. "And it's not merely a wolf, it's more than that. This is a man who becomes a wolf." He drove each word at Y/n, saying much more than just a story. What had he seen? Risked, to tell Y/n this?

"A werewolf," Y/n voiced, resting his elbows on the table.

"What a neat little story." The Doctor was smiling, shaking his head in the same way the head of the guard was.

"My father didn't treat it as a story," Sir Robert said, but his interest was as invested in convincing the Doctor as the bald men were worried he was someone to worry about. The plan was working, at least. "He said it was fact. He even claimed to have communed with the beast, to have learned its purpose. I should have listened."

The bald man began to move and Y/n went into protective mode. "Of course, it was your father's passion. I'm sure you miss him and wished to have listened more. Engaged with him." Sir Robert half halfheartedly nodded.

"The thing was, his work was hindered. He made enemies." This time Sir Robert focused on Y/n purposefully, eyes boring into Y/n's very soul. "There's a monastery in the Glen of St Catherine. The Brethren opposed my father's investigations."

"Perhaps they thought his work ungodly," the Queen suggested. That was when it clicked for Y/n, his eyes wandering to the bald men. The men who were monks, and who were also mumbling incoherently nonsense in a  foreign language that set Y/n's hair standing up.

"That's what I thought," Sir Robert agreed. "But now I wonder. What if they had a different reason for wanting to keep the story quiet? What if they turned from God and worshiped the wolf?"

"I think..." Y/n drawled, his hand tightening around the Doctor's. "It's time to make a new plan, Doctor. I don't think its going to do any good to play nice."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "Right." He turned around rather sharply, dropping Y/n's hand in favor of moving to his feet. They weren't getting any more information now - they had to find Rose. Chaos broke out, the Queen and the head guard trying to figure out why the Doctor and Y/n were so upset, Sir Robert apologizing because they had his wife, and the Doctor demanding to know where Rose was. There sat Y/n in the middle of it all, trying to be more productive than the confusion and the guilt and the yelling at people who were not going to respond.

"Doctor!" Y/n called, trying to knock sense into him.

The man looked over and he took a deep breath in. "Sir Robert, come on!" The three men took off down the hall. Sir Robert lead the other two to the basement, where a bunch of people were chained up and trying to pull to freedom as a werewolf grew to a dangerous form not even five feet from them.

Rose was so amazing, lord.

"Where have you been?" The blonde demanded.

"I missed you too," Y/n shot back. The joke didn't last long though, because soon they were all distracted by everyone scattering in a grab for freedom. All the women but Rose were rushed to the kitchens and the men all  but Y/n and the Doctor were armed. There was a noise and the Doctor dipped from the room for a moment only to come bolting back, grabbing Rose's hand. She grabbed Y/n's and the train pull got them all out of the room and stay together at the same time. They made it just behind the line of guns just in time for the weapons to go off as the wolf itself turned around the corner in full force.

The Doctor took charge when the thing bolted from the bullets. "All right, you men, we should retreat upstairs. Come with me."

"I'll not retreat," the ground's keeper insisted. "The battle's done. There's no creature on God's earth could survive such an assault."

"You think not?" Y/n demanded, in no mood for people to act afool. He snagged a gun from one of the men, thrusting the thing into the Doctor's hand guiding the end of the barrel to his throat. "Shoot me please, Doctor." Without hesitation, the Doctor obeyed, knowing Y/n would be okay in a few seconds. There were some startled screams and a moment of darkness as Y/n passed out only a few seconds, but then he awoke and men stood around him, stunned. "Like I said," Y/n grumbled as he stood up again. "You think not? That's what I thought, listen to the Doctor now."

Soon they were all heading their way upstairs, just in time for the halls behind them to echo with the thing's roar. "Well at least you're alive," the Doctor reminded as the ground keeper's face grew ashen pale. They ran up, Sir Robert calling the Queen. She was running down the stairs to greet them.

"What's going on?" The older woman demanded. "I heard such horrible noises."

"Ma'am, we've got to get out," Sir Robert urged. "But what of Father Angelo, is he still here?"

The woman hesitated then responded, "Captain Reynolds disposed of him." Sure.

The Doctor, who'd left the room to check the front door, returned just then to deliver only bad news. "The front door is boarded shut. Pardon me, Your Majesty, you'll have to leg it out a window." The group moved to a window, only to get shot at and have it quickly proven that windows were as much not an options as the sealed door was.

"I reckon the monkey-boys want us to stay inside," the Doctor sighed.

"Do they know who I am?" the Queen demanded.

"Yeah," Rose answered. "That's why they want you. The wolf's got you lined up for a... a biting."

The Queen was not having that. "Now stop this talk.  There can't be an actual wolf." Just then a howl broke through the house and Y/n had to bite back a laugh.

In the end, believing or not, they all took off running (after some snarky banter, but that was usual) and were all barely saved as they turned the corner and the wolf almost took them over, just in time for that head guard who Y/n realized he did not know the name of. The man tried to stay behind to give the others time to retreat, but now it was Y/n's turn not to tolerate nonsense.

"Now you listen to me," Y/n snapped with such authority that even the Queen didn't speak and payed attention. "I don't care who you are or what you've done or believe. I've got you all alive this far, and I've got plenty of witnesses that says I will do much better than you will facing down something that will absolutely kill you. Y/n ripped the gun from the man's hand. "Now go!"

"Why are you always staying behind?" Rose demanded, visibly stressed. "Just because you come back to life doesn't mean it won't hurt when that thing slices you up."

Y/n sighed. "It's my shtick, Rose, haven't you realized yet? I'm not good in stress anyway, I'm good for sacrificing myself and dealing with pain and doing the worst bits. You two are the brains, and you'll need as many hands as possible. Go."

"But-" Rose began.

"GO!" Y/n interrupted. "We can talk later."

Rose didn't listen at first. Instead she popped up on her tippy toes and caught Y/n's lips in hers. "You're an amazing man, Y/n." Y/n smiled and they finally all went, leaving Y/n behind like always to face the biggest problem on his own. It only made sense that he'd been given immortality. He was meant for this role. What he'd said had been truth, and everyone knew it. Y/n was the one who took the hardest hits because he could stand them better than anyone else. He was perhaps the only one who could stand them at all. Rose was right too, it didn't stop it from hurting, but he'd rather someone not die to spare him a bit of aching.

Everyone made it into the room, but Rose lingered, and that was why she was the one who got to watch Y/n get ripped apart. The last thing Y/n saw before the world went black and his bones snapped like twigs was the Doctor pulling Rose into the room so Y/n was out of sight.

When Y/n awoke again, he was too afraid to move in case it reawakened the memories of the last time his body had moved. When it had broken and snapped and caved in and his existence had become pain and loss. He just lay there, breathing, alone and cold in the silent darkness. He expected some kind of soreness or stiffness, but neither bothered him. His body was completely healed as if it had never once had anything wrong with it ever.

It was only when he heard a scream that he made his way to his feet, running after it to see what was wrong. As if on cue, there was Sir Robert standing with an ax or a sword or something, facing down that stupid beast. "Okay," Y/n growled, walking up. Sir Robert's eyes went wide. "Yes, I'm still alive. Now get into those doors you idiot, dying for a cause is my job!"

Sir Robert looked at Y/n, reaching out a hand to rest on his shoulder. "There is more to life than dying to protect everyone else, Y/n. You're brave, and amazing, but don't take this from me. I need to atone. I need to-" A roar echoed and the two men turned to see the wolf. Y/n stepped forward, screaming back. The wolf saw Y/n and froze, stunned.Y/n could practically see the thing recalling the memory of killing the man who stood before him now, completely fine.

"You think you will fear nothing," Y/n snarled, hunched over with his lip curled back. He looked quite wolfish himself, and the actual roof in the hallway seemed to take a step back. "Get back. GET BACK!" And by some insanity, the thing obeyed. "You're right, Robert. There is more to life than dying for a cause. You have a wife who cares about you, and I have watched far too many people die. Let me make a difference. Let me be the one who saves lives for once. Please, go inside." Sir Robert hesitated then nodded, stepping away from the door and into the adjacent hallway, out of range of the beast. There was a moment's pause where no one was sure what to do. Then the door behind Y/n opened and a hand wrapped around his arm and he was yanked back. The beast ran after him, whatever spell broken, and then-

Light.

So much light.

Y/n ended up on the ground, curled in a ball away from the light. He was so tired. He didn't ever want to move from that spot. Perhaps he could not negotiate never, but he could claim now. So he closed his eyes and did not move for a very long time. Because he was allowed that, I think. And so did everyone else.

-

When Y/n did move again, it was only to walk out of the estate and across the land they'd crossed what seemed ages ago to make his way back to the TARDIS, leaving the wrapping up to the Doctor and Rose.

He had a long time to himself in the quiet. A very long time. Far too long a time. He leaned against the control panel, hands flat on the controls, eyebrows knit together.

Finally, he spoke.

"I know you gave me his memories," Y/n told the control panel. "I know you were there when Rose was using your power. I felt you. Heard your voice. You told me his story. One that wasn't yours to tell. And now I know his life - his entire life, as if I lived it myself - and I have memories that aren't mine. That don't belong to me. How am I supposed to tell him that? How would I ever expect him to be okay with me knowing EVERYTHING? His life is clearer to me than my own." Y/n sighed, rubbing his face. "I can't die, but I can save people. I can lessen the burden he carries on his shoulders. The way he remembers each and every death and it hurts him. I took that upon myself, you know. And the wait of it all. The weight he must have, knowing that he can save one life and strand me and Rose here, or that he won't be able to save anyone's life ever again.

"Not to mention, he can die! He only regenerates when he's in the process of dying. If someone kills him before he regenerates, that's it. It's over. No more Doctor. For the first time maybe ever, it's not him who had to be afraid of losing someone because they might not live as long as him." Y/n sighed, feeling his heart fall slowly into his stomach. "Not to mention... I'm going to have to say goodbye to Rose someday, aren't I?" He looked up at the TARDIS around him, tears coming to his eyes. "How am I ever going to say goodbye to her now that we...?" His head fell forward as he sighed. After a second his hands tightened into fists as he stared at the floor under his feet. His gaze hardened. "I won't, you hear me? Not for a long time. A REALLY long time. We have so much time left together. She won't die or leave us. Not unless by choice, and I don't think she would leave if given the option. I'm going to protect her. You hear me?" He pushed off the panel, standing tall. "I don't care if I have to die every time we go out. I'm going to protect everyone."

It was a vow he would learn to regret.

-

The TARDIS door opened with two very nervous people entering the box that was bigger on the inside, expecting to see a very upset Y/n. Instead, they were greeted by a wide, brilliant smile and sparkling eyes as the man that had left in the middle of the night and spent all that time alone because Rose and the Doctor had to wrap things up with the Queen, leaned against the control panel like he knew they'd been about to enter. "You guys ready to go?"

Rose was the first one to answer. She wasn't smiling. "Y/n?"

The man turned away from her, beginning to distract himself by running his hands along the switches and buttons he wasn't completely familiar with yet. "That's my name. Where do you want to go this time, Rose? I'm sure you'd be a better person to give suggestions, Doctor, but I could shoot some ideas through history if we wanted to stay on Earth."

There was a moment of quiet where the Doctor and Rose had a silent argument before they stopped just in time for Y/n to finally turn around. "Y/n can we talk?" Rose asked gently, her smile small and soft.

Instantly Y/n was shot with terror. "Uh-" He looked at the TARDIS wall, trying to let the light make the horrible feeling in his chest go away. Had they finally decided he was useless and more a burden than anything and wanted him to go home? Was he too reckless and had upset them? Was he getting annoying, wanting to learn how to drive the TARDIS? Had he been rushing things by trying to be with both of them? Had... had they learned that they liked being together and not with him? "Talk about what?" Y/n finally asked, his gaze finally moving from the wall as he turned his back to them, trying to memorize the TARDIS so that he'd remember her as long as possible when he was gone.

Arms suddenly wrapped around his waist, looping under his arms. A face pressed to his back. He tensed, unsure of what was happening. "I love you."

Y/n was stunned. "I love you too, Rose." Her arms loosened, allowing Y/n to turn around to face, her, unsure of what was on her mind. "But?"

"But nothing," the blonde assured. "You just need to understand... losing you is terrible. And I know that you don't stay dead when you die, but- before you were immortal you were bad enough, but now you don't even try to stay alive anymore. It's really got me worried."

This was even more confusing. "I can't die, Rose."

"Do you want to?" That was the Doctor, and when Y/n looked at him, there was a look in his eyes that made Y/n feel terrible. This man had watched his whole planet and everyone he cared about die. After that, he had lost every friend and sometimes even more. The way he looked at Y/n now was not necessarily fear, because he didn't have to worry about Y/n dying. It was exhaustion. It was the face of a man who was tired watching his loved ones die.

"Of course I don't," Y/n answered honestly. Dying sucked. He hadn't had much experience with the process - the worst he'd had was last night when he'd felt his body shatter and then woken up perfectly fine and in one piece, with the memory still clear in his head. He'd felt insane, which had never happened before. None of his experiences dying had been good, and last night had shown him just how terrible it could be. It had also made him wonder... how far did this go? Could he be vaporized and still return completely fine, or if he was reduced to ashes, would he stay dead? Honestly, he didn't want to find out. Vaporizing looked painful and he didn't want that in his head. Not like he had the feeling of teeth ripping his chest and stomach into shreds ingrained in his brain with a clarity that still had him unsettled.

The Doctor pursed his lips. "Why did you?"

Y/n scoffed. "What, you're mad that I died when I did it to save all those people, knowing I would come back?"

That seemed to bother both of them. "We both watched you die last night, Y/n. In really unpleasant ways," Rose said softly, her hand stroking his chest comfortingly, as if to calm him down. He would be lying if he said it didn't work even a little. "You had the Doctor shoot you for goodness sake."

"He did it," Y/n reasoned weakly. "I-" He swallowed. "I didn't think it bothered you. I came back."

"I thought so too," the Doctor agreed. "That's why I did it." There was a short pause where the two men looked at each other, and Y/n was suddenly glad he could only see the Doctor's past feelings and thoughts, and not what was going through the Timelord's head now. "Then I watched you bleed out on that floor, and it was very real and you were very dead, and I have that memory now." He shrugged, obviously as uncomfortable with the conversation as Y/n was.

Y/n wondered absently how long Rose had taken to talk him into doing this at all.

"I'm going to be okay," Y/n reassured.

Something odd happened then. They were still looking at each other when they were hit by the same memory, almost watching it be recalled in the other person's mind. Somehow, that made it even harder to bare.

"I'm going to be okay, Dad, don't worry."

There was terror in every part of my... his body. I knew it more clearly than ever now, even though I also knew that I was seeing it from his eyes. The last time he was a dad with his kid. I was seeing it from his eyes so I knew that it was... both of our bodies, I guess. Just for a moment. For that memory, I allowed myself to make it personal. I allowed myself to become the Doctor, staring at his kid and hoping with ever fiber in his being that they would see each other again when it came time.

"We both will be." The woman smiled, hand reaching out to touch... my face. Her smile was warm and soft and compassionate. The same fear coursing through me, reflected in her eyes. They'd already lost so much. How much more could they all handle?

Y/n looked away, but he didn't miss the bewildered expression on the Doctor's face. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just... want to be useful, I guess."

Rose's hands gripped Y/n's face, forcing the man to look at her when she spoke to him. "You don't need to be useful, Y/n. You are, don't get me wrong, but that's not why you're here. You're here because you're apart of us, and we care about you, and that is plenty enough. You're here because you chose to be here and then kept choosing to be here despite everything. THAT is the only reason you're here, do you understand me?" After a second, Y/n nodded. "I know you feel obligated to save people, just... please, you're important too. Even if you come back, it's going to start taking its toll on you eventually. Remember that."

Y/n allowed himself to relax into her touch. He looked into her eyes and saw the woman he never met. The care in her eyes matched Rose's, as much as the determination and care. They didn't really look alike, but their love was the same, as it was the same for everyone who felt it - one way or another. "Okay." He smiled, and Rose relaxed. "Is this you asking me not to die?"

Rose chuckled, shaking her head. "I never thought I'd have to ask that of you honestly." She shook her head, her hands dropping. "But no. Just... care about yourself as much as you care about other people. You're important too. That's all I'm asking. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should."

That was fair.

"Now," the Doctor said, drawing the attention of the other two. "We have adventuring to do. Any suggestions?" Rose and Y/n parted so Y/n could join the Doctor at the control panel. Rose leaned against the wall across from them, crossing her arms and smiling. She looked at lot happier now. Y/n realized she'd probably been terrified of seeing Y/n die again, carrying a weight with that fear that had drug her down enough that now, she felt light enough to have a bounce in her step. She recognized that it was going to happen again, but at the very least it wouldn't happen often, like it had been.

"You pick," Y/n sighed. "I think you deserve a turn."

The Doctor's face began to light up with a smile. "So be it."

-

[gamerwoo]

[The Pack Next Door] Mingi: Friends With Benefits (Part Three)

(photo edit courtesy of @songmingki​)

Characters: Mingi x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, friends to lovers au, a tiiiiiny bit of angst, smut (very awkward attempt at phone sex, masturbation, sorta kinda dom!mingi????)

Word count: 3,306

Summary: Growing up, you and Mingi were inseparable. You’d been friends your entire life and, as far as you knew, things were never any different. But what you don’t know is that Mingi imprinted on you when he was 15 and first turned into a werewolf, and he had been trying to keep it a secret ever since. And with the awful timing of mating season, he’s hoping he can somehow keep the facade up.

Tags: @sakura-uji​​ @xummie​​ @peachy-hoon​​ @psshwa​​ @uglyratlmao​​ @uwu-yifan​

Previous | Next | Friends With Benefits Masterlist

Mingi hardly slept that night because his body was rapidly heating up and his dick was straining in his boxers. All telltale signs of mating season starting. He was panting, sweaty, and his skin was extremely sensitive by the time the sun rose and his brothers woke up for classes and/or work. Hongjoong went to check on him, seeing Mingi sprawled out on his bed with nothing but boxers on, his bedding kicked off, and his eyes closed as he groaned out in discomfort.

“Yeah,” he sighed, angling his head so he could still look at Mingi, but his order would reach the curious pack behind him, “we’re keeping _____ away from him for the next week.”

Mingi let out a strangled groan, “Don’t say her name.”

Yunho let out a deep sigh, “I’ll go get the chains.”

-

Mingi was sick. That meant you were going to take it upon yourself to take care of him. He may have wanted you to stay away the other times he was sick, but you knew his friends were at school today, meaning there was nobody to care for him. But you didn’t want to just waltz into their house, so you tried texting him instead.

Normally, Mingi didn’t answer his phone when he was in rut. He couldn’t really focus on anything else except how hot and uncomfortable and needy he felt, so texting or calling anyone wasn’t really something he wanted to do. But he just so happened to be already looking in the direction of his nightstand, and he saw your name pop up, and that alone sent his heart into a frenzy.

_____💕: how ya feelin bud?

_____💕: i can come over if you need me to

God, just the thought alone of you coming over had Mingi biting his lip to stifle a moan. He absolutely knew that wasn’t a good idea, but he really wanted to tell you yes. He wasn’t going to, but he wanted to.

Mingi💜: it’s fine i’ll be okay

_____💕: do you need anything?

An idea popped into his head that might be very, very stupid. But you were texting him already and literally anything from you would be good for him. He just had to be not creepy about it.

Mingi💜: you could brighten up my day and send me a selfie :)

_____💕: wow ur a simp even when ur sick lmao

It wasn’t out of character for him to hype you up or anything. He always said cheesy things about how seeing you made his day better or missing you if he didn’t see you all weekend or something. So you really didn’t think anything of it, snapping a cute picture of yourself smiling with your tongue poking out before sending it to Mingi.

_____💕: feel better butthead 💕

There was absolutely nothing dirty or sexual about the photo sent to him -- well, other than just the hint of cleavage from your loose tank top you were wearing under your flannel -- but it still made Mingi somehow grow even harder than he was before which he didn’t think was possible. His ember eyes bored into his phone screen as he stared at you, whimpering because you were so fucking cute and he wanted you so badly but he couldn’t have you. He just had a selfie of you that he could get off to.

-

“Can I ask something...weird?” Jongho wondered as the two of you sat in the trunk of his car at the gas station, sipping your slushies together.

“Yeah, why not?” you shrugged.

“Have you and Mingi ever like...done anything?” he asked slowly, turning his head to look at you.

“You really won’t let that girlfriend/boyfriend thing go, huh?” you chuckled.

But he didn’t smile like you were, “I’m genuinely asking. You guys are so close and you’ve been friends since you were born. Haven’t you ever felt feelings toward him?”

“What, are you snooping for Mingi?”

“No, I wouldn’t tell him anything.”

“But he’s your friend.”

“So are you.”

For as long as you’d known Jongho, you knew he was trustworthy. He never snitched on anybody, he would just kind of stand by and watch madness ensue -- but Yeosang, on the other hand would snitch to make the madness move faster. So you knew that if Jongho said he wouldn’t tell anybody, he really wasn’t going to.

“We haven’t done anything, no,” you answered truthfully.

Noticing something in your tone, Jongho quirked an eyebrow, “I’m sensing a but in there.”

You let out a sigh before you took a sip from your slushie, “I guess I kinda...have liked him for a while...?”

“Really?”

Of course he knew that, he knew you felt the imprinting pull, too.

“But we’ve been friends for a long time so it would be weird,” you shrugged, mostly trying to reason with yourself for the hundredth time more than you were trying to convince Jongho.

“Ah, I doubt that,” he chuckled. “You’re pretty much the only girl Mingi even brings around.”

You snorted, “Really?”

“Why do you seem so shocked?”

“I mean...he’s a good looking dude, and he’s a sweetheart so I figured--”

Even though Jongho was well aware of the reason why Mingi never brought other girls back to their house, he scoffed and said, “You’re forgetting he’s a dumbass.”

“Okay,” you laughed in agreement, “he’s kind of a himbo sometimes.”

“Kind of?” Jongho asked. “Sometimes?”

‘Considering he’s such a big, clueless idiot that he hasn’t asked you out or told you the truth since he was 15,’ he wanted to add on, but he knew better than to do that.

“...He’s a himbo.”

Jongho nodded as he took a sip of his own slushie, “Absolutely.”

-

Mingi’s ringing phone didn’t necessarily break him out of his slumber, but he was trying really hard to sleep for a little bit. No matter how many times he jerked himself off, nothing was ever good enough. That’s how it always was. It might work for a few minutes if he was lucky, but he’d just get worked up again. He needed his mate. He was the only one in the pack who knew who his mate was, and because of that, he needed you to actually feel satisfied while he was going through rut. But how could he ask that of you?

With a groan, he lifted his head that was soaking his pillow with sweat to see who it was. He knew most of the pack had gone out to the movies, and Jongho was out with you for the afternoon and evening, so he had to make sure it wasn’t any one of them with some emergency.

But when your name was glowing on his screen, he scrambled with shaky hands to pick up the phone.

“Hello?” he rasped out before clearing his throat.

“Hey,” you replied casually, your phone on speaker as you made yourself a sandwich in your tiny apartment on campus, “I just wanted to check and make sure you were still alive.”

Mingi sighed as he threw his head back down into his pillow. Just hearing your voice affected him, and he struggled to keep any odd noises he might make inside.

“Uh huh,” he groaned softly.

“Yeah, sure sounds like it,” you joked with a chuckle. 

Mingi’s hand inched its way down to his boxers, his hardened member hardly having any sort of relief that day. But once his fingertips grazed the outline, he realized what he was subconsciously doing and stopped himself. He couldn’t just get himself off while talking to you on the phone. That wasn’t okay.

“It’s not too bad, is it?” your voice was softer this time when you spoke; it was more caring.

His lips pressed together in a thing line, trying to keep the moan bubbling in his throat from slipping out. Your voice just sounded so nice, and it wasn’t like you would know, right? If he was sneaky, it would be fine, right? 

“Just-- J-just a fever,” he stammered out, letting his hand slip into his boxers and wrap around his dick.

“Mingi, that doesn’t sound good,” you frowned, knowing sometimes a fever could be serious.

“You do, though,” he breathed out without thinking, his eyes fluttering shut. Even though he was still stuck using his own hand, your voice definitely helped.

“Huh?”

His eyes snapped open, “I, uh-- I-it’s cool, though. I-I’m fine. I feel okay, j-just--”

He let out a gasp, biting down on the side of his hand by his thumb before he could continue.

“J-just a fever. That’s all.”

“Are you positive?” you wondered, bringing your sandwich to your room along with your phone. “You sound like...weird.”

“Hard day,” he replied through clenched teeth.

If you knew what was really going on, you would’ve laughed at the unintentional pun.

“Wanna talk about it?” you offered, kicking your door shut softly.

“N-no, just--” the sigh he let out sounded more stressed to you, but it was actually sexual frustration. “Just need some kind of...r-release.”

“Could always fuck somebody,” you suggested with a shrug. “That’s what people do, right?”

Mingi almost choked on air hearing you say that, “W-what?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” you snorted. “Mingi, I’m well aware you’re not a virgin and there’s no way you don’t sleep with people. Look at you, dude!”

You believed that maybe Jongho had never seen Mingi bring any girls home, but there was no way he didn’t get around. Mingi was one of the best men on earth, hands down. Besides, his friends had already snitched on him before, telling you all the times he’d had flings or one-night-stands -- but they kept out the fact it was because he was desperate and couldn’t have you.

“I don’t exactly have a lot of f-female friends, _____,” he said in a breathy chuckle, “and I’m not in a good s-situation to go make any.”

“Just get a friends with benefits. I mean, you’re around your friends all the time and they’re single.”

His hand completely stopped as he whined your name in annoyance. His pack were the last people he wanted to think about right now.

“I don’t like guys, alright?” he huffed.

“What about your friends that aren’t guys?”

“That’s literally only you.”

You weren’t sure why you suddenly felt tingly...down there, but you tried to ignore it.

“I mean,” you began slowly around a mouthful of bread and meat, “I’d offer to assist you, bud, but--”

“Y-you would?” Mingi quickly asked.

Your chewing stopped, your entire body freezing as you looked at your phone. Were you really about to do this? If you replied how you wanted to, you might ruin your friendship forever.

Mingi heard your muffled voice like you were eating food quietly say, “Yeah.”

‘Don’t moan, don’t moan, don’t moan,’ was all he could think as he covered his mouth with his hand until the urge passed.

“But, I mean,” you spoke up after you swallowed your food, afraid that his silence meant he was weirded out by your statement, “only ‘cause we’re friends and like, I guess some friends help other friends out like that? But I can’t go there anyway because you’re sick and, like--”

“W-what if,” he cut you off, “we used our ph-phones...?”

You raised your eyebrows, “Have you done that before?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Haven’t you?”

The only times you’d ever done anything remotely like that was when you were seeing some college guy toward the end of your freshman year of college. He suggested the idea a few times and he’d get himself off on the phone while you sat on your couch and ate snacks and half-assed being into it and paying attention. In reality, you were watching Mulan while it was muted and with subtitles on because you really didn’t even want to be with the guy anymore but you wanted to tell him in person and he was out of town. So technically, no, you hadn’t. And it seemed awkward.

“I-I can guide you through it,” he promised before quickly adding on, “I-if you want to! Only if you w-want to.”

For once during one of these conversations, you actually put your food down and gave your phone your complete, undivided attention. Because it was Mingi.

“Y-yeah, sure,” you decided.

Mingi let out a breath of relief as his hand resumed its position around his length, and began moving up and down his shaft, “Okay, you have to take your jeans off.”

You weren’t sure how or why, but Mingi suddenly sounded much more assertive. He still sounded a bit strained and kind of tired, but he wasn’t stuttering anymore. He seemed more sure of his words.

You undid your jeans and shoved them very ungracefully off of yourself, kicking them onto the floor next to the couch, “Done.”

“Now, I want you to just tease yourself like you normally do,” he breathed. He wanted to just go easy on you since he knew you hadn’t done this before and he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, so he figured doing something you were used to would be the best way to do that. “Whatever starts to get you more worked up.”

You suddenly blanked on every sexual thing you’d ever done. How did you normally masturbate? When was the last time you’d even done that? What even got you turned on? Yes, Mingi’s voice was making you feel some sort of heat in your lower region but you still felt a little weird and confused trying to do this.

Still you trailed a finger down to your clothed clit and started lightly rubbing circles. That was what he meant, right? God, were you actually questioning if you were doing phone sex correctly?

“Tell me how it feels,” Mingi groaned. “I wanna hear your voice.”

Had it been literally any other guy trying to do this with you, you wouldn’t even bother trying to pretend. You were the type to shut someone down and not even bother trying to humor them -- except that one time but you felt pity for the poor clueless idiot. But this was Mingi and you really wanted to help him out even if you couldn’t do anything for yourself.

“I’d rather it was you,” you huffed with more whine in your voice than you expected. And it wasn’t a lie, you really would prefer Mingi did this to you instead of yourself because you just felt awkward.

The moan he let out of your name had heat shoot straight through you, and you found yourself dragging two fingers up and down your clothed core, and it actually felt a little less weird now.

“I wish it were me, too,” he breathed, and you heard him shifting on his bed. “Pretend it’s me, okay? My hand sliding into your panties and my finger going into you.”

You did exactly as he said, putting your hand under the waistband of your underwear and inserting your index finger into your heat. Mingi heard the shaky breath leave your lips, and he let out another deep moan as his own hand sped up. 

“Your fingers are way longer than mine, though,” you chuckled lightly as you slowly pumped your finger in and out of yourself.

“Mm, so they’d fill you up even better.”

The quiet, involuntary moan you let out at his words almost made him cum right on the spot. It was one of the best sounds he’d ever heard, and he just wanted to hear it over and over again. He wished he could hear it in person.

“Say more stuff like that,” you requested as heat rushed to your cheeks.

His eyes closed as he imagined all the things he would want to do to you, and repeated it to you. How he wanted to fuck you with his fingers and his tongue until your legs were trembling and your thighs were squeezing around his head. How he wanted to work you up until you were begging him to properly fuck you. And the way he said all of that and the way he moaned between sentences and words had you adding a second finger and rubbing your clit as you rocked your hips and moaned out his name.

“Fuck, you sound so wet,” he whimpered, sounding so much more needy than he had while he was growling in his deep voice how hard he’d make you cum. “A-are you close?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, your voice higher in pitch as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening more and more and more.

Mingi was struggling so hard to hold on but it was difficult to. He wanted to cum so badly but he didn’t want to until you did. Somehow, even in this situation he was in, he was more concerned about you getting off than he was about himself.

“Fuck, _____, I’m gonna cum,” he said in an airy moan, fucking into his fist.

“Cum for me, Mingi,” you told him, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to reach your release.

That was it for him. Hearing you tell him to cum had thick ropes of white covering his stomach, chest, and hand as he let out loud moans of your name, followed by loud panting once he’d come down from his high. But what you didn’t know was that his cock was still throbbing and hard in his hand, so he continued.

“I need you to cum, _____,” he whined, sounding like he hadn’t even gotten any relief from his orgasm. “Fuck, please cum for me. I want to hear you.”

“I-- I--” you struggled with words because while you were so close to the edge, you couldn’t quite get there and it was frustrating. “Shit, I’m gonna--”

“Be good for me, _____,” his voice was airy still, but it was deeper again. “Cum for me and say my name nice and loud.”

You clenched around your fingers as you came with a loud and high, “Oh god, Mingi,” that even had him cumming right then for a second time. Hearing your moans and whimpers of his name as you came was enough to throw him into his second orgasm, which somehow was even more satisfying than the first.

Satisfying enough to make his erection go down.

You relaxed back into your couch, slowly removing your fingers from yourself as you opened your eyes and looked at your phone as if you were expecting to share awkward glances with your best friend.

You didn’t feel awkward, though, and neither did he. The haze of the moment began to wash away, and you thought you’d be left feeling uncomfortable and unable to even stay on the phone. But you both felt...the same. You felt comfortable, like you were just having a regular conversation.

“You okay?” he asked, sounding much better than when you had first called -- definitely a little more tired, but better.

“Yeah,” you replied with a soft chuckle. “You?”

“Yeah.”

The silence was comfortable as you just looked at his name on your screen over and over again. You wondered if this would be a normal thing for you now. You wondered if you would actually do that in person. Actually...

“Y’know,” you spoke up with a light tone to your voice, “I don’t think phone sex is for me.”

Mingi was silent for a beat before asking, “You wanna come over tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you replied as if he asked if you wanted to go boarding on the beach.

“Cool,” he replied just as casually, but he was actually smiling like an idiot in his bed. “I should try to get some sleep then. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“‘Kay. Night, dude.”

“Night.”

[commonwealthoccurences]

Roll Your Eyes (One More Time)(Part Two)

Note: I know this probably seems like it doesn’t follow the prompt, but I swear I just take inspiration weirdly lmao. Word Count: 2,373 Prompt: The Wanderer

Day: 12/27 Sole wasn’t fond of recovery units and the stench of antiseptics, the way the ward was so busy yet so quiet at the same time. They could pick out the stench of burn cream from a mile away, the result of more grenades being thrown after they managed to get Danse and his tin can dragged to another room. They’d lost more than a handful of good soldiers that day, soldiers Sole knew all too well, and they weren’t sure they could do it anymore.

Maybe it was the fact that they had almost lost the steadiest thing in their life; a long time rivalry with one of the most prominent Brotherhood soldiers. Maybe it was the fact that they weren’t born into the time, where losing the people you cared about was more than normal, more than common. It was eating at Sole, though. If they had been another minute later, if the grenade had made it any closer... They chewed at the skin around their nails, looking over at Danse, where he laid unconscious on the hospital cot.

He wasn’t knocked out for too long after they got him back to the Prydwen, a combination of the pain from the doctors treating his wounds and the fact that one of the people carrying him had knocked him straight into a doorway due to the Prydwen shifting. He needed as much rest as he could get, though. The injuries weren’t terminal but he wasn’t in the greatest shape and straining himself anytime soon would put him out of work. Permanently. Sole knew that was the biggest way to scare Danse into listening.

They only visited when he was asleep, creeping in, light on their feet to avoid disturbing him. It was hard to ignore the way the doctors shot them looks when they poked their head in after being told Danse had finally gotten back to sleep. Judgement or fondness, they couldn’t decide, but it wasn’t something they enjoyed.

Once again, they had snuck in after a passing soldier had nudged them and told them that Danse was asleep. They brought a book this time, grateful they were on a short break, and curled up in the chair across from his bed, glancing up from the words every now and then to make sure he was still breathing. Why? They weren’t sure. They didn’t know why they visited so often, couldn’t put the words together to brush off the teasing directed their way about their disgust for Danse turning into something else and “Everyone saw it coming” comments.

Sole refused to spend any time dwelling on those thoughts, or acknowledge the fact that the disgust had indeed left their chest whenever they saw Danse, and instead was replaced by a bubble of concern for his well being. What that meant, they didn’t know. They didn’t want to find out, either.

It was exhausting to be so concerned all the time and they weren’t sure they’d last much longer. Initially, they planned on putting off their resignation from their position until Danse was awake and ready to talk. More coherent. As much as they didn’t get along, he was the one who recruited them, sponsored them, and if anyone was owed an explanation other than Elder Maxson, it was him. But they were so, so tired of wondering if another one of the soldiers in the intensive ward was going to pass in the night, and the first thing they would hear in the morning would be that another friend had left them.

So they packed up their bags one night, making sure to leave behind anything Brotherhood issue, and set them to the side, out of sight so no one would make a comment. It was hard to hide the way they would suspiciously shuffle whenever someone would mention upcoming missions, but luckily, no one saw through the way they would simply nod in agreement and look away.

After a Paladin from that day passed, just barely having turned seventeen, Sole knew they weren’t going to last any longer. They had to get out before the feeling of fear and loss suffocated them and they were trapped on the Prydwen for the rest of their days, claustrophobic and terrified. The last night they spent in Haylen’s quarters, sharing a cup of coffee and discussing pre-War literature, giving away nothing that they were about to run from everything they’d worked so hard to achieve. No, not run. They weren’t a coward. They simply weren’t made to watch people die over and over again.

Haylen bid them a good night and didn’t comment on the fact that instead of heading down the stairs to their own quarters, they were headed up. To Maxson’s. With a breath they paused in front of his door, head bowed, eyes squeezed shut. Maybe they didn’t have to do this, maybe they would regret it. But when they closed their eyes all they saw on replay was Danse being thrown through the wall, his body slamming against the ground, and the way they struggled to get him to keep his eyes open.

After that it wasn’t exactly hard to build up the courage to knock sharply against Elder Maxson’s door. He opened it and raised an eyebrow, silently inquiring as to why they were bothering him so late at night. “Can I come in? We need to talk.” Sole asked, their hands clasped in front of them, shoulders tense.

Maxson scanned them carefully, eyeing them for any weapons or ill intentions. Then, he stepped aside and gestured into the room swiftly, not wanting to waste his time. Sole stepped in and listened to the door click shut resolutely behind them.

The following morning they left, bags packed and strapped to their shoulders, their dog tags tucked into their shirt; Maxson had finally found his kind streak and allowed them to keep them, on the condition that he would allow them to be taken forcefully if they were using them to impersonate the Brotherhood. They ignored the confused looks passing members shot them as they made their way past a patrol that was heading out, instead hiking the strap of their bag higher on their shoulder and walking faster. If they could make it out before news made it back to Danse, they were golden. They really didn’t feel like him yelling at them over intercom since he couldn’t get out of bed.

Leaving was easier than they thought it would be, though a sting of regret struck once they were off Brotherhood territory. They’d forgotten to leave a letter to Danse in explanation, they were so busy trying to explain themself to Elder Maxson the previous night. They shot a quick prayer to every God they could think of to not run into Danse in the future. The way he would chew them out incessantly would be more than painful if they did see him again.

Once they’d made it back to Sanctuary and settled in, unpacking their bags as they thought about everything they’d gone through in the Brotherhood up until that point, they broke out their gloves and headed out to the fields. There was something beautiful about the sweat and blood that went into farming. No one died from watering the corn and turning the soil, and for that, Sole was more than grateful.

Precisely one week went by before they were alerted by Preston to a small group arriving at the front gates of Sanctuary. Something in Sole just knew. It was Danse, and they were about to experience the lecture of a lifetime, and they didn’t have the energy to throw back their usual rebuttals. How would he even understand? He’d grown up in that mess, grown up losing people left and right like it was nothing. And sure, it broke him, but to him that was normal. Sole let out a deep breath and rolled their eyes before tugging their gloves off and stepping out of the gate to meet them.

Sure enough, Danse was being flanked by four Brotherhood soldiers, who started to smile and wave when they saw them, but were quickly shot down with a single glare from Danse. Danse folded his arms over his chest, the metal clanging as irritatingly as ever, and directed his nasty expression straight at them. They almost flinched. Almost. “We need to talk.” His voice was raspier than it had been before. Then again, getting blown up would do a lot of things to you.

They clenched their jaw and scanned him for a moment, trying to judge what damage was left from what he had gone through. There was nothing too visible, but he was definitely putting more weight on his left leg. Sole ran their tongue across their teeth, wondering if something had done permanent damage. “Alright.” They agreed, surprising him. “You boys can head into the bar. Tell Amber it’s on me.” They directed a warm smile to the soldiers behind him. They were no stranger to the fact that they could probably use some sort of break.

Danse shook his head at this, but said nothing and watched them leave. Sole turned and headed back to their home, not bothering to look back to wave Danse on to follow them. His footsteps echoed ominously behind them, a sound they fought themself not to msis, but other than the impending temper tantrum he was sure to have about honor, it was reassuring to know someone reliable had their back at the moment. They’d all too often felt exposed, walking through the Wasteland without the sound of a metal soldier behind them.

Sole, unenthusiastic as ever, pushed open their door and gestured inside, and watched in annoyance as Danse released himself from the metal contraption he walked around in. Yeah, he was definitely favoring his leg. They sucked air between their teeth. There was no way he was coping well with that; he struggled with feeling like he was doing well enough even before he got injured, and they were sure he was on strict orders not to overdo it, even though that was all he knew.

“What are we talking about?” Sole shut the door behind him, maybe a little too harshly, and moved to lean against the wall.

Danse turned on them with a glare straight out of an old school comic book. They sighed. There was no beating around the bush with him. “You abandoned post.” He fixed his eyes on them and casually leaned his hip against the back of the couch. Yeah, something had definitely happened to his leg.

“I was discharged by Elder Maxson.” They shot back, glancing down at his leg.

“And why wasn’t I informed of this before you left?” His tone had gotten significantly colder.

Sole sighed. “I left in a hurry. I meant to leave a note or something. Honestly, I didn’t even think you’d notice.” 

“Bullshit. You’ve been visiting every day since… I’m not stupid, Soldie- Sole. I just got injured in combat, protecting you.”

They froze, mid shake of their head. “You were asleep.”

Danse was the one to roll his eyes that time. “You mumble when you read. It woke me up every time. Plus, you’re not exactly the stealthiest.”

Sole scoffed. “I saved your ass once because I’m stealthy, so now I know you’re lying.”

“You read the book you always keep in your foot locker until three days in, when the scribes scavenged a copy of Alice In Wonderland.”

They had no retort to that. Shit. He really was awake when they went in there. They tried so hard to brush it off, and simply shrugged. “Is there a point to this.”

“You came into the ward every day after I got injured and read, on breaks and during your free time, when you thought I was asleep. And then you up and vanish without a word?” He was spitting out the words like they disgusted him.

“What’s. Your. Point.”

“I’m so sick of the mixed signals you give out!” Danse threw his arms up and turned away from them.

Sole was definitely used to the Paladin’s anger, even revelled in it at one point, but this was new. Usually his anger was cool and calm, stern and biting, but never did it have any outward energy. It was like a switch had flipped. They shifted in discomfort; they didn’t know how to react to this version of Danse. “What happened to your leg?”

“I got thrown through a wall. And you’d know exactly what happened if you stuck around and asked instead of sneaking around and then jumping ship because you’re too scared.”

That was not going to fly. They weren’t a coward, and he knew that was the one way to get them riled up every time, like clockwork. Sole strode forward easily, eyes narrowed in fury. “Scared of what, huh? What the hell was I scared of, Danse?”

He turned and looked at them before shifting forward. It wasn’t far, but then, with the way they were trying to get in his face out of anger, he didn’t need to move very much. He grabbed their jaw between his hands and kissed them. Out of frustration or pure expression of what he was trying to spit out from the moment he’d saved their life, he didn’t know. Both, probably.

Sole definitely wasn’t expecting that, but after a moment, they relaxed and rested their hands on his shoulders, kissing back, as they weren’t one to let someone catch them off guard for long. When Danse pulled away and stared at them intently, they raised an eyebrow. “You’re frustrating, you know that? I’ve been trying to get on your good side from the beginning, wondering why I saw any hope in you, and all you do is get under my skin and piss me off.” His voice wasn’t harsh, more breathy than anything.

They laughed and rolled their eyes. “So I’ve been told.”

Danse shook his head. “God, you piss me off when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Roll your eyes.”

“If you insist.”

Before they could think to make another gesture, Danse kissed them hard.

[zirkkun]

I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

[lunarmessenger]

So we know that mysme is korean.. I was wondering if you could do the RFA+ Saeran reacting to MC being latina🙈

Please and thank you 😊💜

GIRL YES me being Latina too I’ve always wondered....what it would be like...if they had a lil bit of flavor....LMFAO but i gotchu girl - Luna xx (P.S. I may make MC lean towards the hispanic side a little more because I’m hispanic LMAO) 

translations will be down underneath all the headcanons for my non spanish speaking readers!

warnings: none! just some cuteness

RFA, V + Saeran Reacting to Latina!MC

Zen

• He was already so excited to finally meet and see you in person and it doubles when he finds out that you’re not from Korea/Korean

• “MC oh wow...you’re gorgeous I—”

• Is a lot more flustered than he intended to be

• Takes this opportunity to really broaden his knowledge on other cultures!

• He absolutely swoons when he wakes up one morning to see you cooking breakfast, the smell of eggs and jalapeño’s enticing him out of bed

• But then he’s also furrowing his brows because what kind of music is that???

• That’s when he sees you; wearing his shirt and side stepping by the stove, hips moving effortlessly as you hum along to the tune of the song

• He kept quiet, not wanting to disturb you as you continued to sway, swinging the spatula around as you quietly sang

• “No, no es amor, lo que tú sientes se llama obsesión*,” He would’ve passed out right then and there if he knew it wouldn’t freak you out; he’d never heard you speak spanish before, let alone sing it

• He wrapped his arms around you from behind, trying to sway his hips with you as you leaned forward to turn off the heat

• “MC, promise me that you’ll teach me how to move like that.” He whispers in your ear, causing you to giggle

• “And please speak Spanish more often.”

Yoosung

• He’s surprised but not in a bad way obviously

• You didn’t really have an accent when you spoke over the phone, so he never really suspected that you wouldn’t be Korean

• “You’re so pretty MC!”

• Begs you to teach him your favorite dishes from your culture and childhood

• “How about tamales? Winter is coming soon so it’d be something nice for us to bulk make for dinner and breakfast!” 

• He’s already foaming at the mouth at the idea of getting to cook with you, especially a dish that he’s never even had before

• The two of you spend all day making the masa and filling, ranging from refried beans, chicken, and beef

• “Oh Yoosung we’ve made so many; should I ask everyone in the RFA if they’ll want some—”

• “No!” He yelled a little too quickly, making you stop reaching for your phone as you furrowed your brows with a smile

• “Why not?” He was blushing now, not meeting your eyes as he finished folding the last corn husk and placing it into the steamer

• “Because we made them together. I want them just to be ours, MC.” You grinned, placing a soft kiss to his forehead before nodding in agreement

• “Sure, mi amor*. We’ll keep these to ourselves.”

• He definitely blushed a deeper red after hearing you call him that in Spanish

Jaehee

• It didn’t really bother her that you weren’t Korean and she was actually quite excited

• Especially since you’d both be opening the bakery soon; she would love to introduce some non-traditional items to the local area

• “MC; if there are any sweets you would like to showcase in our bakery please feel free.”

• “Oh, actually! There are some that I think you might like!” You spent the entire day hunting for ingredients just so you could bake them for her so Jaehee could try them

• She was already enticed by the smell, her brows raising in curiosity as they finished baking and you poured the two of you some milk

• When you pulled them out of the oven she was excited to see the brown, bright pink, and white toppings on the bread, their patterns similar to a conch shell she’d seen on beaches before

• You excitedly plated them, placing them between you two at the dinner table and then gesturing for her to grab one

• “What are they?”

• “Conchas!* Dig in, honey!”

• She grabbed one, surprised at the soft feeling of the bread.

• At first she didn’t really know what to think? Or how to eat it? They were a little bigger than the pastries she was used to

• She sneakily watched you pull it apart with your fingers, alternating between putting the pieces in your mouth or dipping them straight into the milk

• She copied your movements, and as soon as she’d gotten the first taste her eyes widened in surprise

• “What do you think?” You asked in anticipation, hoping she loved them as much as you

• “We’ll put these on the menu immediately.” 

Jumin

• Like Jaehee, he isn’t really phased that you’re not Korean

• With the many business trips he’s had he’s pretty knowledgable with his Spanish

• But only when it’s spoken at a normal pace and not so...fast

• You were visiting him at his office, patiently waiting for him to finish a meeting with clients who’d happened to be from Mexico City

• He came out of the meeting speaking a bit of Spanish, the clients responding rather quickly

• You could tell he was struggling a bit with their finishing statement, so you decided to try and listen in

• Your brows furrowed as you realized that the last sentence spoken from the clients was directed towards each other, even though they were looking at Jumin

•What they said caused immediate rage; you stood up and speed walked over

• “Este tonto ni siquiera sabe que ya le hemos vendido nuestra empresa a su competidor. ¡Conseguiremos el doble de dinero!”*

• “Perdóneme*.” You immediately interjected, Jumin looking at you in surprise while you saw the client’s faces immediately pale as you hurriedly told Jumin what they were saying

• His eyes darkened as he immediately called security, having the clients escorted out of C&R

• “Thank you for catching that, MC. I will definitely have to bring you in to translate every once in a while, kitten.”

707

• Of course he already knows you’re Latina due to the background check he did

• But that didn’t make meeting you any less exciting, and when he finally gets to see you he’s practically vibrating in excitement

• He knows Spanish much like Jumin, but he’s way more advanced at it so you two sometimes held private conversations when people pissed you off

• This was the second party that the RFA was holding after you’d joined, and a guest had been extremely rude towards you

• Saeyoung was ready to interject but you signaled that you were fine, keeping a polite smile as the client finished their rant towards you before leaving the party early

• He was on his way to check on you as soon as the guest left, your smile immediately gone as you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

• “Maldito hijo de puta.”* You cursed, and immediately Saeyoung was doubled over in laughter while the RFA members looked at you two with curiosity

• You were blushing, insanely embarrassed that Saeyoung had heard you as you pouted

• “Stop it, it was not that funny!”

• “Oh it was hilarious, please do that again.”

• “Wait, what did she say?” Yoosung interjected

• “Don’t worry about it!” You snapped, leaving Saeyoung to chase after you as you grumpily walked away from embarrassment

• “MC please I’m so sorry I just omg it was so funny I’m sorry I swear.”

V

• He’s very much intrigued with you and your upbringing

• It was obvious that the longer you two were together, the more likely you were to mix cultural traditions and rituals.

• He got a taste of that for the first time since you two had gotten together

• One day he came home from a job overseas to see soft lighting coming from one of the spare rooms, his brows furrowing as he called for you

• “MC? Is everything alright?”

• “In here, V!”

• He followed the dim light to see that you’d set up a table filled with marigolds, a couple of pictures of your family members accompanying the table

• “What’s all of this?” He was breathless, taken by the absolute beauty of it that it took him a second to notice that you were setting up a third picture; his mother.

• “Well, seeing as tomorrow is the last day of October, I’ll be celebrating Dia de los Muertos* soon. I wanted to make sure that we keep the memory of your mother alive with my other family members. It’s what we do in my family.”

• You were a little embarrassed, that is, until V suddenly brought you into a tight hug, a warm kiss pressed to your lips before he pulled away

• “I think that’s a wonderful thing, MC. Thank you for thinking of my mother. I know she would have loved to meet you.”

• You beamed in response, leaning against him as you pressed a kiss to the photo of your grandparents.

• “I’m sure that my family that’s already passed is enjoying her company too.”

Saeran

• He had already seen something special in you, and being Latina in his eyes was just an added bonus

• You told him about your hometown and the delicious frozen treats you always looked forward too, and that made his ears perk up in curiosity

• “Do...do you think we could try to find something similar here, MC?”

• You of course obliged, the two of you searching endlessly online until you found a shop that was similar enough

• The two of you had made an entire day of it, holdings hands while walking into the shop

• His eyes were wide with awe, the different fruity flavors catching his attention as you casually spoke to the owner of the store in fluid Spanish

• “What would you like, honey?”

• He was slightly embarrassed that he didn’t know what he wanted, shrugging his shoulders before nervously answering

• “I guess whatever you’re having.”

• “A-Are you sure, Saeran? My taste is a little more traditional than you might like.”

• “Well now I definitely want to have what you’re having.” He smirked, taking it as a challenge while you sighed

• “Alright, but don’t blame me if you don’t like it.”

• Soon enough your treats were ready, Saeran staring at his portion with wide eyes while you happily took a scoop and placed it in your mouth

• It was mango flavored, with drizzles of red decorating the scoops; spicy flavored powder sitting on top.

• “Go on, try it baby.”

• He hesitated, but nonetheless tried it; grinning from the taste and immediately going for a second scoop

• “This is delicious, princess! ...What is it?”

• You laughed before explaining, “It’s mango flavored sorbet with chamoy and tajin on top. It’s my absolute favorite, I’m so glad they have it here!”

• The two of you sat inside the shop together, happily eating your spicy and sweet treats before going home together.

translations:

No, it is not love, what you feel is called obsession*

My love*

Conchas* A sweet bread with sugar toppings shaped like a seashell

This fool doesn't even know that we have already sold our company to his competitor. We will get double the money!* 

Excuse me.*

Fucking son of a bitch.*

Day of the Dead*

[starjeno]

destined | l.mh | 3

genre: fluff | soulmate!au, genderswap!au pairing: student!mark x female!reader warnings: bad words? word count: 1973 summary: it’s a fact of life that soulmates swap bodies. when mark wakes up in a bed that isn’t his, he’s delighted. you, on the other hand, absolutely despise it. a/n: filler chapter, sorry! and i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted. also, i gave the roommate a name finally. 

the sunset filtering through your curtains fills the room with hazy light. it’s soft and golden and comforting, but it does little to placate your roommate. her arms remain crossed over her chest as you pace by the mini-fridge nervously, waiting for this interrogation to end.

“okay, but what did yuta say?” she’s already somehow familiarized herself with the names of the people involved, and while it took some time for her to get used to your new appearance, she currently seems to have grown accustomed to it. you groan, “i told you, yuta likes this whole thing. he just ignored me and then said that i should take mark into consideration.”

“why can’t mark take you into consideration instead?” she retorts. you huff, “i told you this too! mark also thinks i like this whole thing!”

“well? do you?”

you can’t help the hesitation that bubbles up in your throat when you think about the events of earlier. the rapid beating of your heart and the heat in the tips of your ears and the strange familiarity that accompanied each of mark’s words — he felt like a missing puzzle piece, like someone you loved in a past life, and you didn’t like how you unconsciously gravitated towards him as he spoke. 

then again, you only saw him for a few hours, so maybe you’re overexaggerating. you shake your head firmly, “i don’t! you know that! i don’t want any of this!”

she gives you an unplaceable look, her eyes filled with contemplation, before groaning and sitting up, “let’s go out to eat. you’ve had a rough day.”

“you’ll pay?”

“yeah,” she sighs, running a hand through her hair, “i don’t want you to confuse the cashier with your credit card info. let’s get out of here.”

it’s a blessing that your roommate has kun. she’s accumulated enough of his clothing that your new body has a decent selection to choose from. though the clothes all fit loosely, you figure tucking your dress shirt into your pants and looping a belt tightly through should make sure your outfit is secure. she stands in the doorway as she watches you change, blushing feverishly when she associates your initial meeting with yuta with the boxers that now hug you snugly. 

“where do you feel like eating?” 

you hum in thought as you grab a cap, “honestly? kun’s place. he makes such good food.”

she rolls her eyes before dialing her boyfriend’s number on the phone. it rings for a few seconds until the line clicks and you hear a deep voice fill the speaker, “what’s up? you only call at this time when you’re hungry. or horny. or both. please don’t be both.”

“uh, just hungry. also, ____ and i have something we should tell you,” she mumbles, “i’ll be over in five.”

she hangs up before looking over to me and sighing, "i'll do your hair."

as you sit down in front of a mirror and watch your roommate squeeze out a frightening amount of gel onto her palm, you can't help but think about mark again. it's hard not to since his face is the reflection and it shines with a bright optimism that you currently lack. you attempt a half-hearted smile to make his features seem pleasant; it feels wrong when his face frowns.

meanwhile, the girl behind the chair slicks your hair in a neat quiff, sparing a few strands to fall onto your forehead casually. you look handsome, and you're somewhat pleased that kun's first impression of your soulmate will be great on terms of looks.

not that you cared particularly. you don't. you aren't even sure you know what a mark is, much less feel as if others should approve of him.

"there, let's go," she hums, wiping her hands off with a towel and spritzing some floral scent on the two of you before walking out. you follow reluctantly.

kun's apartment is cute and filled with small plants that are groomed to perfection. little canvases with a dramatic ink strokes line the walls above the television and couches, and pens are littered in the corners of every room. there's even a pen tucked into the pocket of the man himself, who is still in the ironed dress shirt he went to work in.

his smile radiates as the two of you walk into the hall, but you can sense the air tension rise, “mina and . . . a friend?”

“ha ha, very funny, kun. you won’t believe who this is,” your roommate grins as you two sit down. kun pauses for a bit before backing into his kitchen, grabbing a spare pan to add on top of the stove, thinking, “uh, a cousin? your long-lost brother? i thought ____ was coming over.”

“exactly,” she huffs before motioning over to you, “meet mark, or better known as ____ in mark’s body.”

kun gasps and points the pan at you accusingly, laughter lacing his voice, “oh my god, you fucking swapped?”

you grin and place a hand to drag the pot down, “i know, it’s crazy.”

“at least he’s cute,” the dimpled boy chuckles, sighing in disbelief. he definitely knew you well.

“agreed,” you smile a bit and your roommate shoots you a short-lived glare before looking at kun, “so we came here to destress from such a horrific event by eating your food.”

“that sounds like a plan . . . ,” he muses, a small smile growing on his face as he takes out cooking oil, “you guys can just chill, and i’ll have something cooked up in ten.”

as soon as you pull your phone out, a notification slides onto a screen. you bite your lip as the social messaging app displays the message of a new follower, and when you hold down for more details, you instantly recognize the handle.

mark. he must've searched you up, and if he's managed to follow you on here, he's probably found all your socials by now. as if on cue, you see three more notifs slide gracefully on your phone, beaming with a new friend request. you aren’t sure if you’re happy or annoyed, or a bit of both, but you hold down and open the app to find a new direct message awaiting your approval.

mark1ee (online): hi! sorry if this is creepy but i figured we’re friends now, so...

good lord. you bite your lips to keep from laughing at his shyness, finding it adorable, and avert your eyes from your phone. mina glares at you quizzically, raising a brow as if to ask what you’re amused at, but you simply shake your head emphatically and begin to type back.

you: how’d you know my last name? there’s probably more than one ____ out there. mark1ee is typing . . .

"here, some cheesy ass lasagna. i put, like, five different kinds of cheese in there, or just whatever was in my fridge.” kun slides two plates to you and your roommate and grabs the nearest chair to sit. he looks at you as you tentatively poke at the stuffing, “i didn’t poison it, you know.”

“shut up, i’m critiquing it!” you laugh as you place a food-filled fork in your mouth, smiling at the instant flavor, “whoa, i forgot how good you are at this.”

he lowers his brows as he smiles, “you mean you forgot my job is in the culinary arts?” 

you face downwards as kun strikes up a conversation with your roommate and glance at the notification on your phone. it doesn’t take a moment of hesitation for you to swipe and check mark’s message.

mark1ee (online): i checked the profile pictures. it would be a lot easier to make sure i’m contacting the right person if i had your number ;) you: how smooth. how do i know this is the mark i met earlier today? mark1ee (online): already asking for pics? damn. mark1ee sent a photo mark1ee (online): i forgot that it’s basically just a pic of you lmao :/ now pls send #

you snort and look up to find your roommate and kun staring at you intently. you wave your hand dismissively, "funny meme, sorry."

they give you a strange look before resuming the conversation, and you hide your phone under your leg before digging into the meal before you.

"so, what's going on?"

at the question, yuta sighs as mark walks in, his hand rubbing a towel through his wet hair, "winwin is coming back early. a week early."

"are you not excited?" mark quips. the older male tiredly grins, "i'm excited, believe me. but i'm worried that i won't pay enough attention to your switch."

mark frowns, the wrinkles ruining the feminine face, "i'll be fine. she just sent me her number!"

he takes a seat by yuta and faces the flatscreen in front, his glossy eyes reflecting the bright lights of the video game. yuta glances at his long lashes and soft brows for a moment before resuming the screen, "damn, good job. maybe you have enough game to survive without me."

"wha- fuck you! and you'll still be here!" mark laughs, picking up the other controller.

"i'm running away with winwin, by the way," yuta jokes. he lets mark join the round before pressing the buttons again, "now that you have her number, what are you going to do? ask her on a date?"

mark freezes. he hadn't even thought of what to do, and right now, yuta feels like a personal certified love guru. what a great fucking idea! before he could spend more time admiring yuta's genius, mark drops the controller and sends a new text to you, hoping for a stroke of luck.

he didn't really need luck though. he had literally found his soulmate that morning.

you: wanna go on a date? nctzn (online): how would i get clothes, doof? i'm wearing my roomie's bf's shit now :/ you: well, keep wearing them and i'll buy myself a dress? i don't care what you wear though, i'm not a great dresser.

mark is lying to his new form. he had always considered himself as someone with a good eye for outfits and color coordination. he sighs as the green dot by your profile that signifies your online presence fades away, and he figures he should probably find another way to pass the time while you’re offline. yuta waits expectantly, “well?”

“clothing’s an issue. and i don’t even know where i should take her,” mark grins, “it’s going to feel so weird, like going on a date with myself? trippy.”

“you’ll survive, it’s not like you’re ugly,” yuta sighs as he rolls his eyes with exasperation. mark doesn’t respond. he’s too preoccupied with the idea of you to even process yuta’s words. he’s never felt so giddy about a girl before — even his middle school crushes never got him feeling this jittery. conversation with you flowed so smoothly, and even mark knew how strange it was to feel this way after one conversation. 

he’s glad you reciprocate his feelings. everything’s he heard about soulmates seems to be true: you fit him well. mark knows he should be a little more hesitant, but this is finally a dream come true. you’re a dream come true. 

you: let’s go on a date tmrw then? nctzn (online): ok why not

mark glances up at the bright orange sky. the sun has only just started to set and the evening barely grazes the warm colors. are you just as happy as he is now? is your head filled with thoughts of him, the same way he can’t stop thinking about you?

mark’s pauses, not sure if he should dare to think his next question, but the idea floats in his head anyway and he turns pink with embarrassment.

yuta turns away, silent.

prev | masterlist | next

[fivescuddles-blog]

drunken mumbling | five hargreeves

a/n: hiii, hope you enjoy this cute lil five imagine! i’d really appreciate feedback so if you enjoy please comment and reblog! it means the world to me uwu

requested: “hi again, I hope you don’t mind me requesting so soon, but could I have a five hargreeves x reader where she finds him drunk and carries him to his room and when she’s about to leave, his drunk ass asks her to stay with him? thank youu” - @spazclaiire

characters: five hargreeves x fem!reader

word count: 1,278

summary: five is unable to hold his liquor and is a very clingy boi

warnings: swearing, think that’s it lmao

~

If you’d met Five Hargreeves on a casual day, perhaps you’d assume that he’d be fine with holding his liquor. Due to his immense maturity for his age, most people definitely would have this assumption about him, including yourself for the most part. However, it wasn’t long until you found out the truth.

Three loud knocks was all you gave the front door to the Hargreeves manor as you waited outside, your coat pulled tightly around yourself as the cold wind nipped at your exposed skin. Rain splattered down on the path under you, making you shiver as it bounced off your coat.

You see, you were meant to be hanging out with Five at this time, considering he’d asked you earlier on if you’d like to come over. But the fact that you’d been stuck waiting outside for almost 20 minutes was a dead giveaway that something was wrong.

Sighing, you waddle over to the closest window, wiping off the condensation and droplets of rain with your sleeve and peered through. The first thing you saw was the living room. Everything looked surprisingly normal, considering you’d been expecting some sort of tragic death scene to be taking place since Pogo or Grace hadn’t came to open the door yet.

It wasn’t until you looked closer that you finally caught sight of a curled up, seemingly unconscious, bundle of sarcasm lying haphazardly on the sofa. To say you were confused would be an understatement. Why on Earth would Five be sleeping on the sofa? And with no one else around?

You groaned and banged on the window, your coat sleeve muffling the sound on the glass. It had no effect. Five didn’t even so much as flinch. The rain was increasing in velocity, now coming down much harder and faster than you’d hoped, drenching you and seeping in through your coat. Looking around, you walked back over to the entrance and decided to simply try the doorknob.

Well done, genius. It was open.

The whole time, goddammit! A sound of annoyance escaped past your lips as you swiftly pushed the door open and stumbled in, droplets dripping from your coat all over the carpet.

You shook your head, air drying your hair as best as you could while you walked through the mansion, heading towards the living room. As you entered, you shrugged off your coat, peeling the sodden fabric from your skin and placing it on one of the many hooks that littered the corridor walls.

As you approached the living room, soft snoring reached your ears, getting increasingly louder as you approached. You walk in and are met with the sight of Five, lying on the sofa with an empty vodka bottle clutched to his chest. You roll your eyes at this, stifling a giggle as you take in the sight before you. His hair was a complete mess, sticking up in all directions, and his uniform was in the same situation.

As creepy as it may sound, you couldn’t help but notice how innocent he appeared while he slept. If you’d only known him by this, you would never have guessed his true self, sharp tongued and sarcastic. It was all very ironic.

You walked over to him, pondering whether or not to wake him up. On the one hand, you didn’t particularly want to disturb him from his peaceful slumber, since it was really the only time you’d ever be able to see him like this. But on the other hand…

You really wanted to know what drunk Five was like.

It’d be great blackmail material, not gonna lie.

With that last though, you gently shook the sleeping boy’s shoulder, provoking a groan from him as he swatted you hand away clumsily. You giggled slightly and persisted, flicking the tip of his nose, causing him to sit up in confusion, a glare evident on his face.

Once he caught sight of you, however, his expression relaxed and a smile spread across his mouth.

“Hey, Y/N, what’re you doing here?” He asked innocently, a slight slur to his words.

That gained him a flick to the forehead.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“For leaving me out in the rain for 20 minutes, dumbass!” you retorted, shaking your head at his obliviousness. “Honestly, you knew I was coming, you’re the one who asked me to come over! I got completely soaked for you and you couldn’t even have the common decency to wait up for m-” You stop mid sentence.

Somewhere during your little rant, Five had dropped off again, his eyes closed and slumped back down on the sofa. You were all ready to shake him awake to yell at him some more, but your expression softened as you realised how adorable he looked without a constant sarcastic smirk on his face. You silently cursed under your breath, annoyed at yourself for feeling this way.

It was stupid. You and Five had been friends for god knows how long and yet still, you couldn’t help but hope that maybe one day you could be something more. Even if you knew how unlikely that was.

Considering all the shit that Five had had to go through ever since he was a little kid, you honestly couldn’t bring yourself to disturb him again. You loved seeing him happy, you being one of the only people he’d ever allow to witness his genuine smile. And right now, the small content smile written on his face, only made you fell harder.

Scooping him up into your arms was no easy feat, since you two were about the same height, but you still did so, manoeuvring his body in a way that made it easier for you to carry him. And with that, you set out on your way to his room.

As you heaved Five up the stairs, you couldn’t help but silently complain to yourself. Five’s powers would really come in handy right about now, huh?

It was difficult to get to his room on your own but in the end you were able to do it, feeling proud of your accomplishment. After opening his door (with great difficulty) you placed him as gently as you could onto the soft bed, watching as his body melted into the mattress.

His eyes were still closed as you began to turn around, preparing to leave the large house until your heard a quiet mumble coming from the bed. At first you waved it off as drunken sleep mumbling and continued walking.

“Wait… Y/N,”

Now that got your attention.

You turned around to see that the brunet had opened his eyes and was staring at you with a small smile on his face.

“Stay with me?” He murmurs dreamily, tilting his head to the side (adorably so).

You stifled a laugh at his obvious drunken state and decided to humour him. “Stay? Why?” you asked, genuinely a bit confused about the question.

He replied with a shrug. “I don’t know… I just… I just like you-” He hicupped. “-being here with me. And you’re nice to look at,”

You didn’t know what to say to that, blinking at his outstretched hand. “I-”

A pout appeared on his face. “Please?” He whined, drawing out the middle syllable and looking up at you endearingly.

A sigh left your lips as you finally gave in, unable to refuse his puppy dog eyes. A face of victory soon took the place of his pout as he snuggled back down in the covers and laid his head down on the pillow as you sat down onto the chair next to him.

“Goodnight, Y/N..”

“Yeah… night, Five.”

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Snap Out of It

Beast Boy x Reader

Summary: When a mission against Mad Mod goes wrong, it’s up to you to snap your favorite shapeshifter out of his hypnotism.

Note: Hi, my name is Morgan and I love Beast Boy with all of my heart. Sorry not sorry lmao. But yeah, this has been bouncing around my head forever. Forgive me. Edit: I think this is the quickest I’ve ever written a fic asjhafkjdh

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 1.6k

Why, during summer vacation of all times, did it have to be Mad Mod? Why? You hated the red-haired old man with every bone in your body, especially when he disrupted your one break from school. Today was supposed to be a nice day. The team was planning on going to the beach all day and then having a movie night so you could watch the new X-Men movie you’d heard less than satisfactory things about, but nooooo. Now you were strapped to a chair, a spinning vortex swirling in front of you and a soothing voice telling you to relax.

Were you at the beach? No. So relaxing wasn’t going to happen.

The room you were trapped in was modeled to look like a classroom, which only served to piss you off even more. You swore anger was the only thing keeping you lucid. So you sat there, stewing in your rage until it was finally enough to give you the strength to bust free of the metal shackles around your wrists.

With them out of the way, and not inhibiting you anymore, you could use your powers again. So you did, using a blast of purple energy to destroy the projector hanging down from the ceiling. Its remains sparked and smoked and the wall it had been projecting onto went dark. You were fine, as far as you knew. A little dizzy from staring at that damn spiral for so long, sure, but fine otherwise.

So, you set out to find the others.

Victor was trapped in an unending game of dodgeball until you helped him through the hidden door. Raven had been locked in a janitor’s closet sealed shut with magic so she couldn’t get out, Starfire was bound to the jungle gym, and finally, Robin had found himself stuck in the principal’s office.

That left one green shapeshifter unaccounted for.

“In here.” Raven pointed to a door labeled ‘Algebra.’ There were lights flickering inside, and you prayed that opening the door wouldn’t lead to another trap. Luckily enough, it was a room similar to the one you had been trapped in, a whirling swirl spinning on the wall in front of where Beast Boy was tied down. His head was tilted to the size, his eyes crossed and his body limp.

You destroyed the projector with a blast of energy, but that didn’t shake him from his daze. Gar was still sitting there, an empty look in his eyes.

“We need to snap him out of it.” Robin waved a hand in front of your teammate’s face. He didn’t budge.

“Underpants.” Starfire tried. Though that method had worked before, on one of the other occasions you’d all been kidnapped by your least favorite madman, it didn’t this time.

“Wake up, Gar!” Raven snapped, shaking his shoulder. That didn’t work either.

Victor tried to tell him a joke, Dick snapped in his face a few times, but none of it seemed to have any effect on him at all. And then you got an idea.

“Alright, step aside.” You motioned the others away. Your powers, being magic based, had some perks sometimes. One of said perks was to be able to break people out of spells and other tricks of the mind. The only downside, really, was the method you had to use to do such a thing. “Listen. If this doesn’t work, we never tell Gar it happened, alright? I’d never hear the end of it…”

“Do what you’ve gotta do.” Dick nodded, crossing his arms.

The others all watched as you lowered yourself onto Garfield’s lap. You grimaced. This was decidedly too weird. You couldn’t remember a time you’d ever been this close to him. After all, this was Gar you were talking about. You leaned in and then hesitated. Were you really going to do this? Was this where your super-heroing adventures had led you after all of these years? You were going to…ugh, you couldn’t. You couldn’t! But you had to. You knew he’d do the same for you.

So, after thinking it over for a long moment, trying to figure out any other way, but failing to come up with anything, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his in a magical kiss, siphoning the dark energy out of him until finally—

He kissed you back.

As soon as you felt his lips moving against yours, you squeaked, jumping out of his lap as both of your hands slapped over your mouth. You kissed Garfield and He Kissed You Back.

Well, now you felt weird about the whole thing.

When you looked down at him, he was still tied to the chair, staring up at you in a different sort of daze, cheeks pink and getting pinker as he realized what had happened only moments before. Victor untied him and Dick helped him stand while you just stood there in shock, still processing.

“You okay?” Raven asked, making sure you hadn’t just transferred his hypnotism onto yourself, but she knew you were out of it for…other reasons.

“Fine. I’m fine.” You reassured yourself, mostly. “Let’s just kick his ass and get out of here. It’s been a long day.”

“Right. Titans, Go!” Robin directed the team onwards and you did your best to put the last few minutes behind you, but you knew that was going to be easier said than done…

***

When the six of you finally got back to the tower, movie night commenced as planned, although your beach day had been sacrificed in the name of crime-fighting. As there were only a few spots left on the couch, Gar had plopped down next to you, which immediately set off your fight or flight instinct.

“I’m…gonnagomakepopcornberightback!” You blurted before bolting to the kitchen to put a bag of it in the microwave. Once it was in and spinning around, the machine humming quietly, you stood there, collecting yourself. You were a superhero. You weren’t supposed to feel like this about something as stupid as a crush.

Wait a second, back up. Crush? Did you have a crush on Garfield? Garfield? Garfield as in your green teammate Garfield? Garfield as in the one who’d tracked mud across your newly mopped floor Garfield? Garfield, the same Garfield who never took out the trash when it was his turn and always left his dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher? That Garfield?

He kissed you back, didn’t he? Maybe he liked you. And…maybe…you liked him back?

God! What were you thinking?! No! You couldn’t like Garfield! Never! Not in a million years!

But…mulling it over further…it wasn’t like he was a bad looking guy. In fact, he was actually kind of cute. Maybe more than cute. With that boyish grin and his adorable fangs, his cute little laugh. Was he a little messy? Sure, but he’d always stood up for you, even when you had been new to the team. He always went out of his way to make you feel like you belonged.

The microwave beeping pulled you out of your thoughts and back into reality. You shook your head, inhaling a deep breath. Madness. Nonsense. You were overthinking things. He knew that your powers were tricky sometimes. He knew that it was nothing personal. Right?

“Hey…” A careful voice spoke up behind you and you turned around to look at him. “Can we, uh, talk? About what…happened earlier?”

“S-sure. What’s up?” You set the popcorn bowl on the counter and crossed your arms, leaning back against it. Super casual. Nailed it.

“Well, I just…thank you, first of all. Victor told me you kind of saved my ass.”

“Just doing my job.”

“Heh, yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks going pink. ��When I…well, when I kissed you back…listen, (Y/N) I didn’t think it was any secret I liked you…”

Well, this was not the conversation you were expecting to have today…Earlier, you’d imagined the green boy teasing you for all of eternity. Hey, (Y/N) remember that time you kissed me haha omg XD. This little confession unfolding in front of you was…different…

“You…”

“You don’t have to say anything. Really, it’s okay.” He chuckled to himself and shook his head. “I just…I’m really sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” You asked quietly. You blessed the fates above for giving you the courage to take one teeny little step forward.

“The last thing I wanted was to make things weird between us.” He sighed. “But obviously I did, so…”

“Why me?”

“Why you?” He laughed. “Are you kidding? You have magic powers, you can fly, you’re literally a badass, but at the same time, you’re funny and sweet and pretty…Any guy, girl, or otherwise would be lucky to date you.”

“Gar, if we’re being honest, I…didn’t know I had a crush on you until today. But…I definitely do, and I definitely have for a while.”

He perked up a little, green eyes sparkling with boyish innocence. “For real?”

“Yeah, for real.” You took another little baby step forward. “So…”

“So…”

“Would you two just shut up and kiss already?! We’re TRYING to watch the MOVIE!” Cyborg hollered from the couch.

Your cheeks flushed red and you giggled, surrendering your blushing face to the security of Garfield’s toned chest. He wrapped his arms around you, gently kissing your temple. You could feel him smiling against you, his hands tracing patterns on your arms and back.

“Don’t worry, baby. We’ve got all the time in the world for kissing.” Gar kissed your forehead again.

“Well, I never thought I’d say it, but…thank God for Mad Mod…”

He laughed. “You’re telling me.”

[courier-sux]

20 OTP Questions

tagged by @potatocrab​​​, thank you!! these two deserve something sweet after all the stuff i put them through lol

tagging: @ani-stark​​, @synicalchaos​​​, and anyone else who’s got a ship they wanna gush about <3

Jackal & Boone — “Problem Solvers”

1. Who can out-drink the other?

They’re the same height, but Boone is definitely more of a unit than Jackal. He’ll always have her beat even if she does hold her liquor pretty well.

2. Who says “I love you” more?

For a long time, the main reason Boone doesn’t tell Jackal how he feels is because of the lingering belief that saying “I love you” out loud is just asking for the universe to screw them over. It takes a while for him to grow out of that mindset — even when he does, Jackal says it more often. After keeping her mouth shut for so long, the novelty of being able to say it whenever she wants never really wears off. She knows how he feels long before they’re able to talk about it (and I’m not giving away who cracks first), but it’s appreciated when he says it back.

3. Who has trouble sleeping alone?

Both of them really struggle to sleep alone. Jackal is prone to paranoia and sleeps fitfully without anyone around to protect her. Meanwhile, Boone has a hard enough time falling and staying asleep even when Jackal is near due to his anxiety, insomnia, and PTSD — holding/being held by her is a much-needed reminder that they’re both safe, and a great comfort when he wakes up from a nightmare.

4. Who swears more?

Jackal, if only because she’s more vocal in general. Boone’s no saint either.

5. Who does more of the housework?

They split it pretty evenly. It’s easy to give Jackal a tool and direct her energy into doing something productive, but it’s just as easy for her to get distracted or forget what she was supposed to be doing. She’s the type to let things pile up before dealing with them all at once. Boone’s able to reliably stick to a routine.

6. Who forgets their anniversary?

They don’t really have an anniversary until they get married, about five years after their first meeting. Until then it’s somewhat up in the air as to what it would be — whether it’s when they confessed, when they first slept together, when they told their friends, etc. I can’t really see either of them forgetting, though Jackal can be somewhat absent-minded at times — Boone would just find it funny and wait to see how long it took her to remember. He’d probably hear her yell “WAIT, TODAY’S OUR ANNIVERSARY” from the other room as soon as she did.

7. Who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Boone, and this was something Jackal learned pretty quickly the first time they shared a bed. She gets revenge by sticking her cold hands up his shirt when he wakes up. In the meantime, she’ll just end up human backpack-ing.

8. Who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

It’s a good thing Jackal usually falls asleep first, because Boone snores often, especially if he lays on his back. She hates doing anything to disturb him while he’s sleeping and has gotten pretty good at tuning it out, but if it’s really keeping her awake, she’ll try to turn his head so he stops.

9. Who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?

Jackal, 100%. This only gets worse once she has kids, because they do the exact same thing and Boone has an even harder time saying no to them. They end up with like four dogs, two cats, and a gecko.

10. Who usually makes dinner?

Boone. I’ve mentioned Jackal’s questionable cooking skills before — basically, if you want to avoid a fire or a mess, it’s best to leave it to someone else. She usually helps out by chopping ingredients (as she enjoys any excuse to use a knife), doing dishes, or just keeping him company.

11. Who plays their music out loud?

Jackal has her Pip-Boy (or any available radio) tuned to Radio New Vegas almost all the time, especially if she’s traveling or working on something — it helps her focus. Even when there isn’t any music playing, she’ll provide her own by humming, tapping her foot, or singing under her breath. The familiar sound of her voice/movement helps Boone get to sleep when it’s her turn to keep watch.

12. Who hogs the bathroom?

Definitely Jackal, especially if she’s dressing up or trying to look nice. That hair doesn’t style itself.

13. Who gives the most compliments?

It’s the resident smooth-talker, Jackal. She’s not afraid to point out when she thinks Boone looks particularly handsome, and it always puts a smile on his face. Boone is more likely to silently admire, but the rarity of his compliments makes them carry more weight.

14. Who usually starts/causes arguments between them?

Boone usually causes arguments, while Jackal’s temper is what escalates them. His tendency to try to shut her out is incredibly frustrating to her at times. Before they finally get into a relationship (and both go to therapy lmao), they have some pretty bad fights, often ending with one or the other storming away before they cool off and apologize — luckily, this means they don’t have nearly as many fights once they’re together.

After they get married, their main argument tends to be in regards to Jackal being reckless and Boone being overprotective because he’s terrified of something happening to her — especially once she’s pregnant. He gets angry, but it’s all a result of the fear of losing his spouse and child again. Though Jackal doesn’t like feeling controlled or stifled, she tries to be more careful once she realizes why he’s upset.

15. Who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?

Of course it’s Jackal. She definitely tries to use cliche pick-up lines on Boone or whispers stuff in his ear to make him flustered.

16. Who gives the other cringe-worthy pet names?

Jackal, and this starts well before they’re in a relationship as a result of Boone’s refusal to give her his first name. Most of them are just words that rhyme with his name — Boone Moon (or Blue Boone), Kaboone, Boonedocks, etc. As they grow closer, Jackal starts referring to him using her limited Spanish, either with terms of endearment/compliments (cariño, guapo), or good-natured insults (tonto, idiota). These confuse Boone for a while, and it doesn’t help that she usually lies about their meaning while Raul refuses to explain because he thinks it’s funny. Once they’re together, she usually refers to him as cariño or Boonie — calling him Craig is reserved for when she’s pissed at him.

17. Who fusses over the other when they get sick?

Boone is one of the few people who can get Jackal to actually stay in bed when she’s sick — otherwise, she won’t take it seriously and will end up getting worse. He’s more of a worrier just in general, so he does his best to take care of her when she needs it.

18. Who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?

Boone has a hard time staying mad at Jackal. She’s too damn charming, especially if she’s actively trying to get on his good side again. I think I’ve referenced this video before, but Julien dancing with Jenna to distract her and her inability to stay angry (“I can’t stand you when you’re like, so charming and sweet” / “Wait, I was mad a second ago!”) always reminds me of Jackal and Boone.

19. Who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?

If one of them is sad, scared, or panicked, the first thing they do is turn to the other. Jackal’s more likely to seek that comfort out, but she can tell when Boone needs it too — whether it’s shame or guilt that stops him, he appreciates it when she reaches out first.

20. Who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

Both of them are very physically affectionate, as they share physical touch as a main love language. It’s pretty common to see them casually touching in some way or another when they’re together — whether it’s holding hands, putting an arm around the other, or simply sitting close enough for their thighs to touch. Jackal is usually the one to initiate more intimate gestures, but Boone returns them tenfold. He has a much easier time expressing how he feels when he doesn’t have to use words to do it — it’s the best way for him to show his love.

[shima-draws]

Oh my gosh okay-I hope this doesn't sound weird but would you be willing to write a BNHA drabble about your college AU? Maybe something with Todoroki and Deku and All Might together? I love your AU and would love to see you write more about it!!

[[Send me a fandom/ship/prompt and I’ll write a drabble for it!]]

!!! I WAS SO HAPPY TO GET THIS ASK OH MY GOD?? I love doing stuff for my College AU…thank you for sending this in!

Anyway I got carried away (no surprise there, lmao) so this ended up being. Over 2k words. NOT MY INTENTION BUT I HAD FUN SO THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS ANYWAY RIGHT

For anyone reading who doesn’t know anything about my College AU, I provided lots of background info in the fic anyway just in case? So it should work as a standalone oneshot without any prior context? But if you want the majority of the AUs details, you can check that out here c:

Anyway. Toshi and Izuku literally act like they’ve been father and son all their lives, Shouto thirsts, and there’s brief mentions of plane engines involved. Fun stuff.

ENJOY FAM!!

——————————————————–

“I’m not sure about this, Midoriya.”

They stand outside of the hangar entrance, the afternoon sun beating down on them. Summer hasn’t entirely left yet, the air still thick with heat. Shouto puffs out a breath and wipes the sweat off his forehead—from being hot or being nervous, he isn’t sure.

“Oh, come on,” Midoriya, gorgeous, perfect, endlessly kind Midoriya, nudges him in his side. “I’ve been wanting you to come here for a while and now you finally got the chance to since your afternoon class got cancelled! And I have clearance. So it’ll be fine!”

Shouto doesn’t really know of any other military hangars that sit on the edge of a college campus like this one does, so he knows it’s a pretty unique setup. A lot of people take classes here despite the intimidating black gate around the building and the numerous warning signs plastered to the structure. The students into aeronautics really do have it lucky. And so does Midoriya—currently an aerospace engineering major. He has access to the building, and has been pestering Shouto for weeks to come see the kinds of things he gets up to. Especially since he’s also a teacher assistant for one of the professors. And this particular professor is extremely well-known both within his field and outside of it.

Upon hearing Shouto’s quiet admittance of admiration for said professor, Midoriya immediately decided it would be a good idea to introduce them. In person.

Shouto’s really tempted to turn back around and head back to his dorm, even though he knows Bakugou is probably there right now doing unspeakable things to Kirishima—having to sit through that more than awkward situation sounds better than possibly passing out from meeting someone so unbelievably famous.

But Midoriya, with his lovely smile and bright green eyes and perfect everything, grabs Shouto’s hand and ushers him along, which promptly shuts up every bad thought he’s having. He is more than okay with this. Totally not about to trip over his own feet or anything. Are his hands sweaty? God, they probably are, it’s already sweltering outside, and Midoriya’s hand is strong and callused, most likely from all the engineering work he does, and Shouto’s hand is probably all gross from constantly plucking on guitar strings and gracelessly hitting piano keys and tapping away on his laptop while he fiddles with his composing programs, and—

Midoriya scans his student ID and the automatic doors open with a soft hiss, cutting off all train of thought. Shouto idly notices the green-haired boy still hasn’t let go of his hand, and refuses to comment on it. Let him enjoy this.

They travel down a series of twisting and turning hallways. All the people that pass through raise their hands in greeting to Midoriya, who energetically says hello every time. They all seem to know him, and seem genuinely happy to see him—like he’s someone important, someone worth going out of their way to say hi to. Shouto’s secretly glad that Midoriya gets such good attention from these people. He definitely deserves it.

They finally reach a very plain-looking and unassuming door. Midoriya releases Shouto’s hand (much to his disappointment—and he’s almost tempted to try holding it again) to unlock the door with his card.

When they stroll in, Shouto takes a second to look around. They seem to be in a workroom of sorts—blueprints and papers are scattered all about, as well as several complicated looking mechanical parts, tools, and larger machinery. Midoriya hums, a thoughtful frown crossing his features.

“That’s weird. I’m sure he’s on break right now…maybe he’s in the workshop?”

A resounding clang echoing from the doorway at the far side of the room is their answer.

Midoriya brightens like the sun, and Shouto thinks his smile is almost blinding in its intensity. 

“Toshi!” He cries out, happily, and scampers into the next room. Shouto follows him at a slower pace, apprehension sinking into his nerves. He’s mere steps away from meeting Toshinori Yagi, All Might—one of the most famous war heroes in their country’s history, not to mention the man his father has a personal vendetta against—and Midoriya is on a first name basis with him. A nickname basis with him. That’s—that’s fine. It’s fine.

The last thing Shouto expects to see when he steps into the workshop is a tall, spindly looking man who is all bones and no muscle halfway buried under a plane engine. Huh.

Midoriya bounces on his heels. His grin is contagious, because Shouto feels his own lips quirking up at the corners. He looks like an oversized puppy.

Hearing them come in, the man underneath the engine propels himself out on a small rolling platform. He’s covered in dirt and grime, his shirt sleeves rolled up to the creases of his elbows. He looks gaunt—cheekbones sunken in, eyes dull and skin alabaster pale. Upon seeing Midoriya, though, his whole entire face lights up—and it’s like the green-haired boy’s presence is breathing life into his very frame, because he suddenly looks more vigorous than ever.

“Izuku, my boy!” He says with a wide grin, practically beaming. The pure delight at seeing Midoriya seems to radiate off of him. Shouto blinks in shock.

This is All Might?

Shouto had seen tons of pictures and online articles about him after the plane crash that had destroyed his body and therefore ruined his career, but witnessing him in person is definitely different. He’d gone from being an almost superpowered pilot to a sad, miserable shell of himself—but despite all that, he’s still working with planes and engines as he used to, just no longer out in the field. The fact that he’d gone from being a well-respected and admired military hero to a, well, still well-respected and admired professor of all things is a bit of a shock. (Then again, Midoriya had mentioned offhandedly that All Might always had a soft spot for mentoring and training others. It sort of makes sense that this is the direction he’d go with his career after being forbidden from being put back on active duty ever again.)

“Hey, Toshi!” Midoriya greets like it’s the most normal thing in the world to walk in on a legendary icon casually fixing a piece of complicated mechanic equipment. Shouto thinks his head is going to explode.

“Help me up, would you, my boy?” All Might asks, and Midoriya is at his side within seconds, easily pulling him to his feet. (Shouto pretends he isn’t openly watching the muscles in his arms flex with the movement.)

Once they’re all straightened out, All Might gratefully ruffles Midoriya’s hair, who giggles in delight. Shouto is in absolute disbelief when the blonde man loops an arm around Midoriya’s shoulder and pulls him into a side hug, which the boy melts into easily, naturally, like this is a common occurrence. They’re the picture of absolute camaraderie and Shouto feels like he’s going to drown under the mountain of questions he has about this predicament. Midoriya’s told him plenty of stories about how All Might had plucked him out of a sea of endless eager faces desperate to please and had given him the means to chase his dreams—but he hadn’t mentioned much about why they’re so close, or how they moved past the mentor-protégé stage and into the realm of actual friendship. Or…family, it seems now, because with the way they’re playfully nudging each other it really looks like they could be father and son. 

After the two of them finally settle down, All Might’s gaze travels over to land on Shouto—and a shocked look makes the very vibrant blue of his eyes stand out even more.

“Oh! Um,” Midoriya dances on his feet for a second before rushing over to Shouto and gently guiding him forward, fingers grasping the crook of his elbow.

“This is Todoroki-kun! The, uh, the friend that I told you about before!”

Understanding dawns on All Might’s face, along with a strange knowing look that twinkles in his eyes.

“Oh, yes,” he chuckles, putting his hands on his hips. Despite looking somewhat like a walking talking skeleton, the way he holds himself is confident, yet friendly. Shouto’s starting to see how he ended up in a professor position. “I’ve heard plenty of good things about you from Izuku, young Todoroki.”

Shouto’s mouth drops open in surprise, and he feels his cheeks become warm. Midoriya’s talked about him? To All Might? And—and he’d told him good things?

“Toshi!” Midoriya squeaks, his arms flailing about. It’s a nervous habit Shouto’s picked up on throughout the course of their friendship.

All Might leans back and laughs, a full, deep-sounding one from his belly. And even though he’s not even close to looking like he once did in his prime, Shouto can practically feel the raw power emanating from that laugh.

Midoriya is pouting, but it’s half-hearted at best. If Shouto had more guts he’d start to consider taking that lower lip between his and kissing the boy silly, but again, he’s nowhere near ballsy enough. Bakugou wouldn’t hesitate at all but Shouto has standards, thank you very much.

His attention is drawn back to All Might when the man steps forward and offers a hand.

“I’m glad to officially meet the boy my favorite student talks about so much,” All Might says with a wide grin. Midoriya sputters but Shouto smiles, feeling a bit warm on the inside.

He definitely had his doubts before, but now he’s absolutely certain. Whatever relationship All Might and Midoriya have, it’s special, important, and he can tell just by looking at the older man that he absolutely treasures Midoriya, just like Shouto does. Good. All Might has very good taste. Not that he’s entirely surprised. Midoriya is a literal ray of sunshine and anyone who thinks otherwise is either completely blind or a massive idiot. (I’m looking at you, Bakugou.)

“It’s an honor to meet you, All Might,” Shouto says, honestly, taking the blonde’s outstretched hand.

All Might startled at that, blinking a few times. Then, he chuckles, shaking Shouto’s hand vigorously.

“Please, please, no need for formalities! Besides, I haven’t gone by that codename in years. Call me Toshinori, okay?” He says, smiling kindly.

Shouto exhales when All M—Toshinori releases his hand. (God, thats gonna take  getting used to.) “Oh…sure.”

Midoriya bounces back over to his side, his posture eager in its tension. “Toshi, did you see the blueprints I left for you yesterday? I wanted to double check and make sure I did all my calculations correctly…”

Toshinori hums thoughtfully for a moment, and then he nods in recollection. “Oh, yes, yes! That’s right. You did wonderfully on them, my dear boy. I think this next assignment is going to be the perfect amount of challenging for my class.”

Midoriya lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree, and Shouto’s having a very hard time not laughing at how thoroughly pleased he looks. He didn’t realize how much Midoriya appreciates Toshinori’s praise, but he guesses it’s a bit obvious why.

“If we apply what you drew out to the most current version of the engine…ah, let me see…where did I put those blueprints…?”

“You two are pretty close,” Shouto comments, watching as Toshinori putters about in the shop.

Midoriya blinks at that. “We are?”

Shouto looks at him incredulously. “You’re on a first name basis, you’re more relaxed with him than I’ve ever seen you with anyone else, you hang off of each other like you’ve been friends for years and he calls you “my dear boy”. And you call him “Toshi”. So yeah. That’s the very definition of being close, Midoriya.”

Instead of getting embarrassed like Shouto thinks he will, Midoriya looks down at the floor thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” he says, quietly, after a long stretch of comfortable silence. He glances up at Shouto, beaming. “I guess we are.”

His gaze travels back over to Toshinori, who is now digging through a pile of blueprints.

“He means a lot to me,” Midoriya admits, softly, fondly. “He’s done a lot for me. He’s…one of the most important people in my life.”

Shouto closes his eyes and smiles. He’s glad Midoriya has someone on his side like this, an adult figure who’s willing to be there for him through thick and thin. He knows this goes both ways, too—Midoriya is clearly giving Toshinori all the credit, but what he doesn’t realize is that Shouto’s sure Toshinori believes Midoriya to be irreplaceable as well.

He opens his eyes to see Midoriya gazing at him affectionately, and his heart leaps. Maybe one day he can become this important to Midoriya, too.

——————————————————–

BUT LITTLE DOES SHOUTO KNOW, HE ALREADY IS. IZUKU’S JUST BAD AT SHOWING IT LMAO

At this point in the AU they’re already crushing hard on each other and Izuku has already fallen into a routine with Toshi where he invades his apartment at 3 AM to ramble on about how gay he is for Shouto. So Toshi is VERY well aware of his attachment to him hence his subtle teasing when they’re finally introduced in person lmao

Anyway I hope you enjoyed–I had so much fun writing this!! I love my kids :’D

[an-annyeoing-writer]

vampire!Xiumin x Reader: feeding habits.

Wordcount: 1 989

For @banaani-mins! It didn’t exactly go as the prompt said, but hope you enjoy nonetheless lmao

It was the sound of knocking to your door that woke you up from the nap.

You moved slowly; your limbs were a tad sore and you felt like you’ll fall back asleep if you don’t get a coffee ASAP. Although you knew it won’t work for long; you’ve been exhausted these days, but it’s not like you could help it. It’s alright, you can pull through, you’ll finish the college and then find a stable job and you won’t have to sell your health off anymore. 

You glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and panicked instantly, and when the knocking echoed again, you shot up, running to the door, almost losing balance in the hallway, but getting there and opening the door quickly.

“Sorry, sorry! I was taking a nap and lost track of time” you explained yourself, before the man standing in front of you could even say anything.

Minseok tilted his head to the side, smiling politely.

“It’s alright” he announced calmly and you let out a sigh.

Even though the deal between the two of you was completely business-like at first, you found yourselves getting closer to each other as the time passed. Relationships like these often created friendships, if both parts were willing, of course; in the world where vampires lived among humans, there was nothing weird in it anymore. Although the deal wasn’t exactly legal, it was the most convenient for vampires, and for you – a college student – it was an easy way to get money to pay your tuition and rent a small flat.

“You don’t look too good today” Minseok spoke, once you invited him in. You only shrugged, as if there was nothing weird in it.

“I just didn’t sleep much lately. And doing groceries is a hassle” you murmured. “Want something to drink?” you asked, peeking into the kitchen; vampires could still eat or drink normal things, which made it only easier for them to accommodate.

“Well, yeah, I pretty much came here for that” he answered, amused, at which you only facepalmed, amazed with your own stupidity. “Your bedroom?”

“Yeah, make yourself at home, I’ll only grab some coffee.”

A few minutes later, coming into your room, you felt a bit better; even though you felt that the coffee you drank would make your body shake soon, especially with the smaller amount of blood in your veins. You learned to make the coffee weaker, but today you really didn’t feel well.

But then, you knew that if he noticed, he’d make it a big deal.

“What’s wrong?”

It was obvious you wouldn’t be able to hide much from him, though.

He sat on your bed, playing with your plushie; he had a habit of placing it on his stomach first thing after sitting there. For some reason, once you became more casual with each other, Minseok took a huge liking in your flat and the lifestyle, always asking you about your studies or what you were doing in your free time. It’s as if it was oriental thing for him, in a way – and it was, a vampire’s life was quite different, it was focused on different things, and his own apartment, as you came to find out not too long ago, was also way different than what people usually have. Despite the place being fairly spacious, his kitchen was small and unused, but scarily clean, as every other surface in the whole apartment.

You crossed your arms, using one of your hands to scratch your neck.

“I’m alright, just tired” you announced, sitting next to him. “How have you been these days?”

Minseok shrugged.

“Pretty busy, things were hectic at work.”

“You look tired.”

“I’ll be alright if I feed, it’s no big deal” he assured you.

“Go ahead then” you smiled, extending your hand in his direction. Minseok usually fed from your wrist, the same spot every time.

“You sure you can handle it?”

You nodded, using your other hand to rest your chin on, your elbow resting on your knee in a pose that could indicate boredom.

The man’s eyes didn’t leave yours, but you just let your eyelids drop, relaxing your muscles.

The pain you felt was plesantly familiar. It almost felt pleasant, your body experienced it so many times before that it didn’t bother you at all; you didn’t even flinch. 

Warmth spread all over your body. Even despite loosing blood, a vampire’s bite had that ultimate effect, and the comfort of apathy enveloped you, making the intrusiveness of the injury almost completely blank.

And then, you felt like you were flying.

* * * 

“.../n]. [F/n]!”

The sound of your name appeared somewhere far away, ripping through the darkness that surrounded you. But you pushed it away, easing yourself back into the sweet silence, as convenient as it was comfortable.

Something moved around you, pressing into your senses, waking up your numb limbs, pulling you out of this pleasurable state with more and more intensity, and you had no choice but to give in, a small sigh escaping your lips at the first indication that you, in fact, were not dead yet.

Your eyes fluttered open and the first thing you saw was Minseok’s face; a very, very worried face.

You gulped, staring back at him for a few painfully long moments.

And then you shut your eyes closed again.

Please, please, go away, yes, I lied to you, yes, I’m sorry, please, don’t be mad at m-

“[F/n].”

You breathed in shakily, and then forced your eyes open once more, your face – expressing the highest guilt as Minseok sighed deeply, shaking his head.

“You alright?”

You sat up; you were lying in your bed all along, you noted, and Minseok was sitting next to you, probably hovering above your unconscious frame until now, panicking his head off over the fact you fainted while feeding; it’s never happened before, he’d never took much enough from you to pass out, maybe feel dizzy for a few minutes, maybe needing a nap to recover, but it’d never been this bad.

He watched as you leaned against the cushions, breathing heavily. You still felt weak, and you didn’t even try to attempt to stand up. You didn’t really want to pass out again.

You slowly recovered. Being handed a bottle of water, you drank some of it, but it almost ended falling out of your grasp, that was when Minseok took it away and placed on the nightstand.

But once he assumed that you were in a relatively communicative shape, he cleared his throat and you glanced up, only to quickly look down again.

You messed up.

“You forgot my rules?”

You awkwardly scratched your arm, looking for a response for a few seconds, but no sensible words were there to assist you, and you pursed your lips, still avoiding the eye contact.

“I saw the marks” he spoke. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

Of course he saw. How long could you try to hide from him that you were selling your blood off to someone else, too? It only happened two times before; both were after the last time Minseok fed from you. But you just lost the small job your had, and feeding one vampire definitely didn’t provide you with enough money to live. 

But Minseok had his rules. You established that the day you started the deal: you were not to let anyone else bite you. It was sensible; vampires that fed off God knows whom, could carry a variety of diseases that went from one to another. Minseok didn’t want to catch anything, for the sake of other people he fed on; he always made sure everyone’s healthy.

“He was clean, I checked” you announced quietly. The fact that you did, in fact, go as far as to check the vampire, meant you weren’t as irresponsible as he thought at first. Or that, at the very least, you sincerely didn’t mean any harm to him or any other people he fed from. 

Minseok sighed yet again, and you’ve never wanted this badly to shrink into yourself.

“It’s not only about that, you know it.”

“Are you mad at me?” You finally raised your eyes.

“Yes.” You stared down again, wrapping arms around yourself. “But I’m also worried. And disappointed, that you didn’t tell me about it. Why did you do that? You can barely handle me alone, your blood isn’t an infinite source, you know?”

He tried to speak calmly, but his voice shook with emotions he tried to conceal. 

“I lost job” you said simply, and you were sure that it was enough to explain everything.

And it must have, because Minseok only let out yet another of his sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly. You supposed he didn’t get as much blood as he needed – he probably panicked when you fainted. 

“Is that why you didn’t do the groceries?”

You nodded, defeated.

Minseok looked pretty done at this point; like a parent who just found out their kid spent last months hiding a sandwich under the bed, and said sandwich already started to grow life and convened its own government.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I could have helped you out.”

You let out a dry laughter.

“I wouldn’t expect you to do that, Minseok. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I literally owe you your health.”

You reached to brush your hair with your fingers, bending your knees and leaning your chin on them.

“You already pay me enough” you said. “I’m thankful for that… You don’t owe me anything more.”

“You don’t understand, do you?”

His eyes bore through you, glistening with a red, dangerous hue for a brief moment before regaining their original color. 

“I can’t just stand here and watch you kill yourself as if your blood was all I care about. And even if it was, I need you alive and well to feed. So accept at least this. If it means I’ll have to go do your groceries or make payments to your college myself, I’ll do it, even though I’d rather just help you find a new job. So stop acting as if you don’t see that there’s something more than just mere business between the two of us. Because to me, it seems like a friendship.”

Your breath hitched at his words and you stared at him with your eyes wide. Although you’d known about it for a while before, there was still a string of doubt, something that didn’t allow you to put your full trust in him. 

“I’m sorry” your voice broke and you sniffled. The amount of emotion you felt at the moment started to flow out of you despite your exhaustion, and you wept quietly.

Minseok sighed, taking your wrist and gently pulling you into his chest. His arms wrapped themselves around your fragile frame, and he pet your head, as though you were a hurt animal, or a child that needed comfort. And for a few moments, none of you spoke, as he let you calm down, probably thinking himself what he wants to do with you.

“Shh, it’ll be alright” he whispered, finally pulling away and placing both hands on your shoulders. He’d never been the type to take any sort of offense lightly, and respect in a relationship was the most important thing to him. Yet, here he was, thoughtful and forgiving, easing you into a solution. “Just promise me to never do it again. And not lie to me. I’ll help you. But I need you to trust me, [F/n].”

Out of no other choice, you nodded.

Minseok smiled.

It was alright, you thought. The second chance you were given, would definitely help you out of your trouble. You’d become a better, stronger person, and your friendship would improve as well.

And maybe, one day, turn into something more.

Please, reblog if you enjoyed!

Check out my masterlist for more!

[thanatosbananatos]

The Ultimate EruHan Meta

Oh boy.  

So, I feel that first, I must preface this long-ass meta:

First, bless your heart if you read this.

Second, this is just for funsies. Yeah, for some reason, I find this kind of shit enthralling!  I have no idea why.  Regardless, this is not meant to shit on EruRi shippers, LeviHan shippers, or anyone in-between.  This is simply something I've been wanting to do.  Erwin and Hanji have a very underrated relationship, and I've wanted to highlight it for a long time. Years.

I also use “she” pronouns in this meta, but I think Hanji can have whatever pronouns.  Isayama has said it doesn't matter to the story, so run wild.

This ship is incredibly important to me, and I hope to share my feelings with the fandom in a light besides incessant fangirling and stupid art.

OK.  Let's do it.

I have read through the series thus far (right now, it's late April of 2019) completely in Japanese, and I've done my best to read through English translations of each chapter as well.  Why Japanese?  Well, I'm an elitist.

Just kidding.

There's actually a very specific reason that I prefer the Japanese to the English, and it has to do with the linguistic structure of the languages.  In English, there are certain things that we cannot change in our writing to emphasize something--the word “I,” for instance, is always “I,” and “you” is always “you.”  Right now, as I type this, I realize how limited the written English language is.  I can only show you emphasis by bolding or italicizing the words, and even then, there are things left up to interpretation.  

Japanese is quite a bit different, and though there is plenty of ambiguity used in this language (trust me, I've done studies lol), there are also parts that are more specific than in English.  There are, for example, numerous ways to say “I,” “you,” and other pronouns depending on the speaker, the listener, and other circumstances.  

It's because of this that I prefer Japanese dubs and prints of anime and manga, respectively.

The last time I went to Japan, I came home with the first 14 volumes of Attack on Titan in Japanese, and this was the shit that dragged me into EruHan.

As is the case with most Americans, I assume, I saw the anime before I read the manga, but it was not until I read the manga that I started to ship Erwin and Hanji.  Why?

I'll explain the details later, but one of the biggest reasons is that the bulk of their interactions occur in what will be season two and beyond.

However, they do have really important interactions in season one, aka chapters 1 through 33 of the manga.  Those moments serve as a great base for what to eventually expect in the latter chapters, when all of the heartbreaking shit happens. c':

We never know for sure how Erwin and Hanji met, but we know that at some point, Erwin came to trust Hanji enough to consider her to be a competent Squad Leader, and eventually considered her as one of his right-hand men, along with Mike, and after a few years, Levi, too.  Hanji's squad has a specific focus:  to study Titans as closely as possible.  It seems like a pretty dangerous job, but Hanji is a dangerous person in general.  

Erwin is generally known as a strategist both in canon and in the fandom, but for a strategist to do their job, they have to have facts to base their plans on.  As we learn later, Hanji is the source of those facts.

One of the most glanced-over scenes in the entire first season is when Erwin and Hanji are leading the Corps back to the wall after failing to secure Annie in her Titan form.  Hanji questions Erwin's decision to send Levi off only after making him refill on gas and blades; Erwin reveals that his plan was based on Hanji's information in the first place.  

In other words, Hanji is someone that Erwin trusts implicitly.  

But, we see the same thing with Hanji toward Erwin when they corner Annie in Stohess.

If you recall, Erwin and Levi are with Nile and the other Police soldiers during the rampage--Erwin left Hanji to call the shots.  Again, proof of trust in her abilities as a leader.  

However, I find it hard to believe that Hanji would have followed Erwin's plan if it had been anyone else besides Erwin that proposed it.  Why?

Think of how much destruction the fight in Stohess caused.  It's almost inexcusable, considering that in the end, Annie seals herself up and is useless as a test subject to Hanji and her squad.  Hanji's first job is actually not a soldier, but a scientist; however, she trusted Erwin enough to not only agree to his plan to stop Annie at all costs, but also enough to be the one to carry out the dirty work.  

Additionally, Hanji questions EVERYTHING.  As a scientist, it's only second nature.  I've admittedly seen a lot of people shitting on Hanji for questioning Erwin from time to time, but NEVER should it be interpreted as insubordination or disrespect.  Rather, Hanji is trying to acquire more information from Erwin to gain knowledge of as many perspectives as possible.  And, by questioning Erwin, Hanji serves as a double-check system.  Levi tends to follow Erwin blindly, whereas Hanji will question him almost as a test--as if to ask, “You sure? You thought it through?  OK, then let's go.”

When thinking of all of this in anime context, there's one more thing I'd like to point out:

The first OVA, Ilse's Notebook.

In this particular OVA, most of the focus is on Hanji (thank god), and it expands upon what is briefly shown in the manga when Hanji, Levi, and his squad find the journal lying around.  The OVA starts with Hanji basically drooling over the idea of capturing a Titan--and no, it's not just because she's obsessed with the Titans themselves, but because she's obsessed with answering the many unanswered questions in their world, of which, the Titans are often the subject.  However, when she confronts Erwin with the idea of capturing one, he turns her down--according to the dialogue, this isn't the first time they have this discussion, either.

But, perhaps you noticed Hanji's argument to Erwin?  When he mentions the lives they've lost in the Corps?

“Without making any sacrifices, we can't gain anything!”

Doesn't that sound familiar?  

“Someone who can't throw something away can't change anything!”  

Armin said something similar--do you remember whose ideals he based his quote on?

Erwin's.

But, maybe, also Hanji's?

It is entirely possible that Hanji and Erwin have had the same thinking from the start, or that one of them influenced the other.  

We don't really know for sure, since we've yet to receive Hanji's backstory (Will it even happen?  Sigh), but regardless, they think similarly.  OK.  That's a thing.

As I mentioned previously, the bulk of their very important and often overlooked interactions are from season two (i.e. the Clash of the Titans arc) and onward in the manga/anime, up until...that thing called the serum bowl that none of us like to talk about.

If you recall, at the tail end of season one, Erwin was briefly arrested by the Military Police, then released.  Once again, you'll notice that Hanji is the one calling the shots, along with Mike.  Erwin has effectively split them up (presumably Erwin, I'm actually not sure if it's confirmed that he was the one to send Mike's squad to watch the 104th?), with Mike doing the physical work, and Hanji being left to the strategic end of things--to a point.  I mean, it's not as if Erwin is completely out of commission at that point (unlike Levi lmao). Instead, he's working on his “big” project--to overthrow the government and get those traitors out of here--from more of a behind-the-scenes perspective.  So he surely knew that things would get crazy on Hanji and co.'s end, yet he trusted her to follow through and lead the Corps while he worked separately for a while.  

He doesn't think to check in on her, either, until the report about Wall Rose and the traitors finds him.  I'm sure he didn't quite predict all that, especially because Reiner himself was flying by the seat of his pants lmao.  He hears that Hanji and company suffered injuries, and that Eren has been taken away, along with Ymir, so obviously, being the Commander and all that jazz, he goes to check in on the Corps soldiers atop the wall.  Until he arrives, Hanji does not move--it's only when she hears Erwin's arrival that she moves, and it's to talk strategy.  

This admittedly brings up something else I want to talk about with them: both Erwin and Hanji are so goddamn willing to put everything and everyone else first besides their own well being.  

I know a lot of EruHan writers play with this trope, but we didn't even have to add it in.  It's there.  All the time.  

I think Erwin is especially obvious, considering how far he was willing to go to reach his goals, and his dream.  However, Hanji is the same way when it comes to obtaining knowledge.  And, both of them want to win.  They are fighting to win.  In season three, Erwin refers to himself as a gambler--the same is definitely true for Hanji, if not even more so.

So, Hanji gets her ass in gear long enough to tell Erwin what she can, and once again, using the information Hanji gave him, and not straying from it once, Erwin formulates a plan, and the Corps sets off.

Erwin did not stray from her information, used it to fuel the plan, and lost his arm in the process.

Flash-forward to Erwin in the hospital.  Beardwin.  

Wait, no omg.

Go back to when they brought him back to the hospital.

We don't see that, right?  No, we don't.

But you know who else would've been in the hospital receiving treatment for burns and possible concussion, etc.?

Hanji.

Hanji probably saw the direct results of her instructions to Erwin.

Now flash-forward to Beardwin.

Remember, back about forty years ago when you first started reading this meta? Remember what I mentioned how the Japanese language has different types of pronouns?  It also has different kinds of politeness.    

In the Japanese version of the scene where Beardwin does the creepy-ass smile, Hanji enters the room speaking pretty casually, like “hey what's up Erwin--oh shit Pyxis is here too” might as well have been the actual translation.  Her speech goes from casual to formal the second she sees Pyxis. Of course, up to this point, Hanji had always used casual speech with Erwin, but the stark contrast to how she speaks to Pyxis, who is a pretty easy-going guy around the Corps veterans, just drives home the fact that they are familiar with one another. 

In addition, we once again see Hanji give Erwin information, and boy howdy.  Does he take it and run with it.

So begins the Uprising arc.

This is the arc that just pushed me face-first into EruHan, to be perfectly honest.

This is also the arc where the language usage is the most important.

At this point, the three veterans (Erwin, Levi, and Hanji) are split up for a little while.  Levi and Hanji are sent to watch over the 104th while Erwin does his thing (again).  However, Hanji has a little “side project”--she is still keeping watch over Pastor Nick, until the Central Police murder him.  She and Levi torture them, and that's a thing.

Due to the heavy focus on Historia and Eren, things are kind of quiet for the vets for a while, until Eren remembers some information from a dream, and yet again, Hanji brings that information to Erwin for him to put to good use.

This is one of the most important scenes in the arc, and for this ship.

First, note how calmly Erwin receives the flustered Hanji.  He offers her food and water without question and immediately listens. (An aside:  Erwin is probably one of the most patient characters in the series.)  After explaining everything, Hanji then asks Erwin, “What should we do?” (Another aside:  Don't forget how much these vets trust Erwin.  Ever.)

Erwin's at least one step ahead of everyone at all times, of course, so he has an answer, but part of that answer is pretty startling: Erwin names Hanji as the next Commander of the Survey Corps.  He then promptly leaves, with Hanji staring after him (be still my heart) and is soon arrested once again.

This is a scene that I can't help but dissect, simply because there's just so much there.

I'm also going to be bitter for the rest of my life that the anime strayed so much from the manga in this arc generally, but that's not the focus right now.

So, okay, remember the pronouns example I gave earlier?

Hanji uses “watashi,” Levi uses “ore,” Armin uses “boku,” etc.  Most of the characters are very consistent with pronoun usage, and most of them default to either “watashi,” simply because they are in the military, methinks.  

Erwin, however (and unsurprisingly), is one of the characters who changes his pronoun usage.  In fact, he is the one who changes it the most that I've seen so far in the series.  He switches frequently between just two, “ore” and “watashi,” but what does this mean, exactly?  What is there to gain from knowing the details behind his pronoun usage?

We see Erwin using “watashi” most frequently in two situations: he uses it in formal situations as the “Commander” towards people like Zackley, Pyxis, etc., and he uses it when speaking with a “softer” demeanor, such as early interactions with Eren.  

Erwin uses “ore” as a Commander might--with authority.  It also seems to be his go-to generally--in other words, if he did not have any social obligations to worry about, no public faces to protect, he would use “ore.”

So, toward Levi, Erwin uses “ore” pretty much exclusively.  After all, though he respects Levi, he has no reason to be gentle or keep face--in other words, no reason to use “watashi.”

However, toward Hanji, Erwin almost always uses “watashi.” (I should also note, he uses “omae” with “ore” and “kimi” with “watashi” accordingly.)  The speech is more familiar, gentler almost.  I wouldn't have given it much thought if it weren't for the one time he does use “ore” toward Hanji.

That time happens to be when he names her the next Commander of the Survey Corps.

So, why the change?

If you recall, that scene takes place with them talking one on one about the note that Eren has left for Hanji to read regarding his memories of a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt.  Erwin eventually has summons--ones that he is sure will lead to his arrest, and he then names Hanji his successor.  

To me, after seeing all of their interactions, I think that Erwin definitely shows some favoritism toward Hanji and holds a soft spot for her.  After all, if you think back to the OVA, Hanji was the one to really prove herself and stand toe to toe with him.  I think he admires such stubbornness, for reasons we can only speculate now.  

When I think about how he previously had spoken to Hanji, it was always so...intimate?  Like, “I value this person and their opinions.  We are close.”  Using “ore” breaks that down and instead builds a wall between them.  It's like he was saying, “I'm serious.  This isn't a joke.  You have to listen to me this time.”

It's worth noting that I've spoken to a few other Japanese fans about this part, both EruHan shippers and not, and everyone seems to agree that it seems like he did it for the sake of seeming authoritative, to make sure that this time, Hanji would listen without questioning him.

Of course, after the fact, Hanji questions it.

And I think that just drives my point home.

If you think back, or rather, forward in the manga, we see Hanji get handed a lot of shit--from Eren, the general populace, supposed allies.  After one particular event, where Eren grabs Hanji and treats her like a piece of trash rather than his own Commander, Hanji escapes with humor, but behind closed doors, she feels frustrated and lost.  

“Erwin, this was your one mistake...  Why did you make me the Commander...?”

Erwin did not want Hanji to double-check him.  He did not want her to question him like she normally did.  He just wanted her to listen to him and take the order, so she did.  So it's even more natural for her to doubt it now.  She didn't get that chance in the first place--Erwin took it away from her, and she let him, because she trusted him explicitly.  

We hear about it constantly with Erwin and Levi, but don't forget:

Erwin and Hanji's relationship is also built on trust.

So, let's go back to after the political arc--they decide to go back to Shiganshina, and we have what has come to be known as the serum bowl.  Yay!  Sounds fun, right?

NO.  FUCK THE SERUM BOWL.

But it's important to dissect for the sake of this fucking essay.  

I'm gonna skip straight to the good stuff--it comes down to a choice between saving Armin or Erwin.  Levi is pretty much set on giving it to Armin--until a soldier brings Erwin's body back, and he's clinging to life.  Eren and Mikasa get hysterical, they fight, and it looks like Mikasa is gonna straight up become THE Ackermann, until someone interrupts them.  

It's Hanji, and she's injured and all alone.  At this point, she's lost Moblit and part of her vision, and now she could lose Erwin, too.  This person she trusts and respects probably more than anyone in the world might die.  I think it affected her on more than just a personal level too, obviously--the Commander she entrusted her life and well-being to is on the brink of death, and she is supposed to somehow take his place.  

Hanji obviously takes Levi's side, insisting that Erwin should  be the one who gets the serum and a second lease on life.  She pulls Mikasa away, holding her closely, and tells her that she understands what she's feeling, what it's like to lose someone you care about.  

But, “Erwin is the hope of humanity.”

Those are Hanji's words.  They're heavy.  So fucking heavy.  

If you questioned the respect and trust and love in their relationship (even just platonically) before, at that point, you really can't anymore, unless you decide to be in complete denial.

However, if you're caught up with the manga, you know how it goes--Erwin pulls a last minute “stunt,” then retires (cough) as Armin is given the serum and transforms into a Titan.  Levi chooses Armin in order to let Erwin die as a human and not as a monster, and tries to talk himself through the choice out loud.  

Hanji, however, has her eyes only on Erwin, and she is with him until his last moments of...pre-retirement...

Okay, but here's a thing I really want to point out.

Flocke, the dumb bastard who brought Erwin's life back (he's not dumb for doing that, btw), is the one who brings up the notion that it should be Erwin who receives the serum, because only Erwin had the capability of becoming a monster who could save them.  That thought scared Levi, who held and continues to hold Erwin in very high esteem, and is what essentially pressed him into giving Armin the serum instead.  

Do you think that thought scared Hanji?

Though we never hear one way or the other, I really don't think so.

When has Hanji ever feared the Titans?  

No, it's not even just that--Hanji saw the Titans as equals.  She saw them as just a different kind of human, really.  

Think back to Sawney and Bean, wayyyyy way back.  Think about how she recognized their personalities, respected them, and loved them as the way that they were.  And she had no idea what the truth behind them was.  She had no idea at that time that they were humans.  

Think about how she treated Eren as a Titan shifter (before he started being ...whatever he is now).  She respected him, was kind to him, and she didn't even know him.

I think it's safe to say that  her relationship with Erwin would not have really changed.  She would have probably respected him even more than before.

...There's honestly so much more I could say about the ship on micro-levels, but I wanted to hit these big points because not only are many of them lost in translation, but they are highly underappreciated.  I get tired of seeing them left out of the main fandom, when it's such a delightful, wholesome ship that has plenty to work with in both canon and AUs.

But, if you're interested in hearing the smaller things, hmu.  I think about this ship all the damn time.  Everyone should have some level of appreciation for it.  

--Cat