#he comes back home after being missing for 2 weeks going 'man my life really feels like

[oc-cinematic-universe]

joe may not be fourth wall aware but hes totally genre aware. the moment things start turning into a survival horror he goes Oh I See Whats Happening and then he proceeds to cheese everything. monster chasing you? just use a designated hiding spot until the monster loses aggro. and it literally works. this horror shit is fucking easy

[lavenderspence]

To Lean On You | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Content Warning: post prison!Spencer, mentions of addiction, prison talk (typical for the prison arc), gun use, mentions of death, suggestive themes, idiots in love, angst, so much angst.

Word Count: 8.6K

Summary: You and Spencer wasted years, truths hidden, feelings uncertain, and a fear of the unrequited. It took ten weeks, isolated, silent, and broken, for the realization to strike. There was no life, if you didn’t have each other. 

A/N: It’s finally here! Wow, writing this was a wild ride, honestly. Over a month of writing, blood, sweat, and tears poured over it (there were in fact some tears). This is also the first thing I’ve written in 3 years and I'm very happy to finally be out of my slump. It's probably the angstiest thing I've written ever, and at the same time, I feel like it's not the greatest, but deep down, I still love it, haha. Let me know if I've missed any warnings. And, enjoy and any feedback is appreciated. <3

Here are some of the songs I listened to while writing this if you want to get into the mood:

Hearts by Jessie Ware

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift

Lost Without You by Freya Ridings

In This Shirt by The Irresponssibles

masterlist

79 days, 3 hours, and 27 minutes - that’s how long it’s been since he got arrested in Mexico.

70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes since you saw him being pulled out of the courtroom after he was deemed a flight risk and denied bail. 70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes have passed since you last saw him.

65 days, 7 hours, and 11 minutes, since he was transferred to Millburn Correctional Facility, and this whole nightmare, had started. 

Per Penelope’s carefully crafted schedule, every team member has made numerous trips to visit Spencer - every member except you. You’d only made one trip out, and that had been 3 days after he’d been transferred.

March 4th, 2017

It’s been 8 days since you saw him led in cuffs out of that courtroom, where Penelope had broken down in Luke’s arms, everyone too shocked to make a sound. He’d looked back, his eyes meeting yours briefly, and it had been as if you’d almost seen your reflection in the mirror, every emotion had run between you both in a matter of seconds. 

Shock, you’d almost been sure they would grant bail, and you’d be able to take him home. Almost. 

Fear, for his future and his well-being. Fear of the uncertain. 

Desperation, the desire to run to him and take him into your arms, finally, and to not let go. 

Except you’d held his gaze for as long as you could before you’d looked down and turned your head to save him from seeing you break down in tears. You’d made a hasty escape after that, not sparing any of your teammates a glance, and walked out of the courthouse, stopping by a tree outside. The urge to curl up into a ball and hide, pretending none of this had happened, was strong, and then a hand wrapped around your shoulder. You had turned around, only to see Rossi and one of his sad little smiles, the ones you rarely saw.

“It’s going to be okay,” he’d said, squeezing your shoulder. ”The kid is strong.”

You’d sniffled, trying to hide the tears in your voice. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I am," you’d whispered in despair. 

You were better than you had been 8 days ago, calmer. Although still heartbroken, you were looking forward to seeing him, seeing with your eyes that he was okay. Garcia had seen him, 2 days ago, before you’d been sent out on a case.  

“He looks good. I mean, as good as that big genius brain of his can look in prison. His eyes were sad though, really, really sad.” She’d paused as if to assure herself it would be alright, “I’m sure he’s looking forward to seeing you, sweetness.” She’d squeezed your hand, but her statement hadn’t rung true. 

Your hands were shaking, you weren’t sure what from. The anticipation you’d felt? The nerves? Or the words you had a hard time coming to terms with.

“I’m sorry, but your name isn’t on Spencer Reid’s approved visitor list,” the guard at the checkpoint had said after rechecking the list. 

“There has to be a mistake, I made an appointment,” you insisted, feeling yourself unravel. It wasn’t possible, you knew for a fact you were on that list, Emily had made sure of that.

“Look, lady. There are only 10 names on that list, and yours is not one of them. Now, you need to move, because there are people here waiting to see their loved ones.” you’d hiccuped and turned around, walking to the lockers to unlock your gun, badge, and phone. 

“I’m here to see a loved one.” You’d wanted to scream, but you knew it would have been futile. There wasn’t anything you could do at that moment. 

You walked to your car, dialing Emily’s number, “This is Prentiss.”  

For a second, only your breathing could be heard over the sound of the wind, and then a tiny sniffle. You wiped at your eyes and nose, and then spoke up, barely, “Why am I not on Spencer’s approved visitor list?” 

“What do you mean? Every member of this team is on the list. So is his lawyer and Diana, even Derek,” you could hear the surprise in her voice, yet you couldn’t keep calm any longer.

"They refused to let me see him! I made the appointment, Emily, and I came, hoping I’d finally see him hear his voice, and ask him-” Your voice broke mid-sentence, and after taking a deep breath, you continued, “Ask him if he was okay, and I was denied because out of the 10 names on that list, it seems mine’s not one of them.” You finished defeated, barely above a whisper.

All was silent for the moment, save for what you could hear was Penelope’s voice on the other end of the line, quietly asking what was going on, “Let me call Fiona and the warden, and I’ll see what happened. Meanwhile, I need you back here, because we just got a case.” Her voice wasn’t leaving anything up for discussion. Still, you couldn’t go, not until you saw him. 

“Emily-” she cut you off.

“It’s not a discussion. I’ll resolve this, but I need you here and your head in the game. Am I clear?” Her voice was stern, but maybe that’s exactly what you needed. Maybe.

“Yeah, clear. I’m on my way back.” You took a deep breath and started the car and the journey back to Quantico, but your mind stayed right there, on the bars that kept you away from the one thing you held dearest. 

As it turns out, there was nothing the warden or Fiona could do. Even Emily Prentiss, Unit Chief of the BAU, couldn't “resolve” the situation. Days, weeks, and months passed, and for 70 days you couldn’t see him, isolated out, not even knowing why.

“-to be in the courthouse in one.” You snapped out of your thoughts, only catching the end of the sentence, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes. You were tired, and it had little to do with the fact that you had been up all night, going over all the evidence with the team and tracing Lindsey Vaughan’s steps to a T in an attempt to exonerate Spencer and finally bring him home. 

You were exhausted, both physically and mentally. You’d been up for more than 24 hours now, but then you hadn’t been sleeping all that well to begin with. Every single night was spent wondering how Spencer was doing, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw him in that cell in Mexico. 

His eyes were red, high out of his mind, barely coherent, dirty, and injured - a far cry from the person you were used to seeing every single day - energetic, passionate, and brilliant. After 12 years, if there was one image you wished to erase from your memory, it was this one. Not all the blood you’ve seen spilled, every victim, be it men, women, or even children, all the horrors of the job, but this. Maybe it made you a bad person, but there was nothing worse than seeing the one person you held dearest at their lowest and not being able to do anything to stop it.

Every waking hour that you weren’t on the job was spent wondering how he was doing and if he was okay. If he was healthy, unharmed, and safe, or as safe as an FBI agent could be in prison. But most of all, the one thing that had kept you up at night, slowly destroying your sanity and making you question everything, had been the one question you couldn’t seem to get an answer to. 

“Why doesn’t he want to see me?”

You’d asked everyone and had waited with battered breath for an answer, a clarification on the matter, and it never came. As shocked as you had been at the notion that you wouldn’t be seeing Spencer for an indefinite amount of time, your team had been even more shocked. They knew the kind of relationship you and Spencer had, how close you’d become over the years, and how much you relied on each other. 

You’d asked every team member, you’d asked yourself, you’d even asked Spencer in a few of the letters you wrote to him, and then there had come a point where you just stopped. 

You were torturing yourself more than enough, day after day, and every single night, asking yourself a question you wouldn’t get an answer to. Not as long as he was locked up in that hellhole and you were out here, trying to keep together the pieces of something, that was on the verge of breaking. 

You felt a hand taking hold of yours, and for a second, you tensed up. Pulled out of your thoughts, you looked up and were met with chocolate brown eyes, full of worry - Emily’s eyes. 

You glanced around the room, only to realize it was empty, save for the two of you. You hadn’t felt when the others had left, that’s how deep in thought you had been. 

“Where did you go? I’ve been calling your name for a while now,” she spoke gently, squeezing your hand. If you were honest, that’s the first time she asked you anything about the situation. You’d spent weeks suffering in silence and trying to pretend that you weren’t slowly dying on the inside. 

You briefly thought about lying, it wouldn’t be the first lie you’d told since Spencer had been incarcerated, but you didn’t have it in you to hide anymore. 

And so, for the first time since Spencer’s hearing, you told the truth.

“Nothing makes sense anymore, Em,” it left you in a whisper, “I’m barely holding it together. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes, and just when I breach the surface, I’m pulled back in. My mind, it’s...I question everything, all the time. My mornings start with thoughts about him, and my nights end with tears over him, over this entire…this nightmare. I keep waiting for my alarm to go off, to wake up and realize that this has been a plot of my imagination, some cruel joke my mind has conjured, designed to show me... "Your eyes welled with tears, prepared to admit something you should have long ago. Emily gave your hand another squeeze, prompting you to continue, and so you did, admitting it for the first time aloud. 

“Designed to show me that I can’t live a life that doesn’t have Spencer in it.” You wiped at your eyes, willing your tears at bay. When you dared to look up, you were met with the eyes of the only other person besides Spencer who has been a constant rock in your life for the last 11 years. What you saw in her eyes then wasn’t surprise like you’d thought, but relief. It took you a moment to fully read her, but it was like a switch had gone off when you finally did. 

“But you’re not surprised to hear this, are you?” you smiled sadly, a light laugh leaving you. 

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t have my suspicions, and I’d be an even worse profiler,” she smiled at you, “Plus, there are some feelings that you just can’t hide,” you blinked, and then you blinked again. You hadn’t come right out and said it, and yet she knew, she somehow knew. 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” you tried to backtrack, but you knew it was a losing battle. Emily knew you well enough to smell your bullshit from miles.

“That’s exactly how you meant it, and don’t even try to deny it. I see it every damn day. It’s how you leave the room whenever you hear someone talk about visiting Spencer. You don’t want to hear how he’s doing because you wouldn’t believe it, not unless you see him with your own eyes. But you can’t, so you’ve resigned yourself to the torture of not knowing instead of giving yourself the smallest amount of peace by asking. You’ve been suffering in silence for almost three months, too stubborn to say anything, thinking you were doing yourself a favor. And what for? You’re crying yourself to sleep every night and coming to work the next morning, pretending everything is fine when clearly it’s not. You think you’re fooling everyone, but the only person you’re tricking is yourself. And how’s that working out for you?” she had a point, and it’s not like you weren’t aware of that fact. You knew what you were doing wasn’t okay or healthy. You had the most stable support system imaginable to get you through the hardest parts. It was hard, though, especially when the person who was suffering the most was the person who’d taken your heart with him. 

“Way to call me out, boss.” you were just about ready to end the conversation, you couldn’t take any more of this. You’d promised each other long ago that you wouldn’t profile each other but you had a feeling that was exactly what Emily was doing right now. Maybe not on purpose, and with every good intention imaginable, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want one of your best friends to try to understand you based on behavioral analysis right after you’d spilled your soul out to her. 

“Just calling it the way I see it, someone has to,” she smiled, but then she shook her head a little before continuing. “What I want to know is why you didn’t say something earlier. You know I would have been there to listen, and so would have the team.” Damn, Emily Prentiss.

You didn’t have to think hard about it, you’ve been ruminating over everything for days. You were trying not to, but whenever your mind wasn’t focused on a case or the many drinking nights spent in Penelope’s purple adobe, that was where your mind would take you.

“Out of fear, I think,” you started, unsure for a second, still nervous to admit it. It wasn’t exactly what she was asking, but it was a start, “I was afraid, and I still am. I’ve been baiting myself into thinking it was just some sort of fondness, a little stronger than that which you feel towards a friend, and far lesser than what it actually is. I thought that if I didn’t say anything, I could go on lying to myself, and nothing would have to change, we wouldn’t have to change. Because words hold meaning, and an admission like that holds weight. What would I have done if it was just me who felt like this? I would have ruined the one thing we’ve both cherished for over a decade.” It felt good to finally say all of this out loud instead of holding it inward. But then again, Emily always knew when you'd had enough. 

She’d told you time and time again the same thing Hotch had asked of her when she returned to duty after faking her death: “Let me know when you are having a bad day.”. Honestly, you’d held off long enough, and so had she. It was a whole miracle she hadn’t pressed you about your behavior earlier. 

“That’s not what I was asking,” you said, shaking your head with a smile to let her know that you weren’t done speaking. 

“Everyone was suffering as a result of what happened in Mexico, what I was feeling wasn’t any different, Emily.” You were flippant about it, you always have been. You preferred isolating yourself and hiding everything instead of seeking a shoulder to bear the weight of what you felt. 

“Our sadness came from the fact that our friend was framed. And yours? That’s different.” 

“It isn’t,” she scoffed, getting up. Now you really felt like you were about to get scolded like a child.

“Yes, it is. God, you and Spencer are the same. It’s like I’m looking at his doppelganger without the whole��� IQ of 187. You share some of the worst qualities a person can have,” you laughed at that, “You are both changeophobes-” you cut her off

“Metathesiophobia, fear of change.” She only raised her hand at you, as if to say, “See, you even sound like him,” which made you laugh even more. 

“You close yourselves off after a sad or traumatic experience, silently hoping you’d be able to get through the worst of it on your own. Most of the time, it’s evident that’s not the case. You only ask for help when you’ve reached rock bottom or have no other choice, but you’ve had a choice from the get-go. Your stubbornness even stems from the same anxieties, it’s infuriating,” she seemed to calm down then, in defeat maybe, or she hadn’t been mad, to begin with, she sat down again. 

“My point is, it shouldn’t have taken you learning that he might be coming home today to tell me all of this. I’ve known for a long time that there was something far more than platonic friendship on your end. You shouldn’t have tortured yourself since his trial to try to put the puzzle pieces together. You aren’t late, you have all the time in the world to say what you feel and what you want, and rejection shouldn’t be a factor, believe me. You need to make peace with that fear because Spencer is coming home today. And whether you are ready or not, you both need to have a serious conversation.” You appreciated her determination about Spencer being released, but then again, you had more than circumstantial evidence to support the fact that he was innocent. But, as always, Emily was right. He was coming home today, and after months of not seeing each other, there were a lot of things you needed to say. 

“I know. Thank you, Emily, for everything,” you whispered, squeezing her tight. 

Spencer’s POV

The first breath of fresh air after being on the inside for months felt far more overwhelming than he thought it would be. Being in charge of your being and your responses and emotions felt almost unnatural like the feeling of it didn’t belong to him. The sound of the wind and the traffic, people’s voices, and even the simple act of getting comfortable in the leather seats of the jet overwhelmed any ability to concentrate and think straight. 

In itself, it was strange. The prison was loud, the prison commissary at breakfast, lunch, and dinner was a cacophony of prisoners talking, cells being opened, and guards barking orders. The yard was loud too, although, in the middle of nowhere, nature could still be heard - the sounds of trees and the lone birds, if he had to guess a mix of Mourning Dove and Field Sparrow. Their songs were soothing most of the time, a welcome distraction from the usual noises around him. 

Without the atmosphere he’d gotten used to and subjected to all of those sounds and people whose presence he found comforting before, he now felt almost out of place. He wanted to feel at peace, he wanted to feel free, and although he technically was, his mind was more trapped than he’d actually been in that 2 by 2 cell in cellblock C.

He kept replaying some of the hardest moments from his time in, every threat, every punch he’d gotten, and the phantom feel of the fists connecting. Luis’ blood on his hands, the smell of bleach incorporated with the drugs, the tip of the sharpened toothbrush embedding into his thigh. All he’d done to survive, harm, and more harm, only to make it out alive. 

He barely recognized himself. He’d deliberately ignored looking at himself in the small plastic mirror in his cell, for fear of seeing what he’d had to become. Gone was the Spencer who’d use his brain to get out of situations, whose obliviousness more often than not helped to balance his intellect with the socially acceptable. Gone was the bubbly personality of a kid excited to share a plethora of facts with his friends. 

In his place sat a man, tormented by the reality of the hatred felt towards him. The reality of being a pawn in a game whose complexity could have been his downfall. A man whose genius, as much of a blessing, could sometimes be a curse. A man who had felt too much and was made to experience far more loss than his quaint heart was able to take. In the end, he kept losing, be it his father, by no choice of his own. His mentor, at the hands of a killer’s insanity. His friends and loved ones, hoping for a better life or his freedom, made to rot in a place he didn’t deserve to be in. 

Some would doubt that he had anything at all left to lose. All in all, how much more could the scrawny twelve-year-old child prodigy, left to survive in a public high school, take? 

His mind had been plagued by that question for years. He’d thought about that more than he’d like to admit. After every loss, there’d been a split moment where he’d asked himself what was next. What would be the next thing life would take from him? And every time, he’d had to wonder if, next time, life wouldn’t reach for the one thing he couldn’t allow to be taken from him. The one thing that, were he to lose, he’d never recover. He had hoped, sometimes prayed, that after everything he’d seen, everything he’d lived through, this would be the one thing that’d be spared. 

Locked in that cage, he’d tried even harder to ensure that there wouldn’t be another loss in his life - not anymore. Be it good or bad, he’d done everything. For 70 days, he’d had to assure himself he was doing what he thought was right, and what he wasn’t saying, he’d be forgiven for. He’d had to dodge questions and see the disappointment in his friend’s eyes, and when that wasn’t enough of a burden to bring all of his anxieties to the surface, he’d resigned himself to reading the words of the person he was doing all of this for - you. 

He’d reread every letter to the point where the edges of the papers were worn out, even though he’d known the contents by heart on the first read. He tortured himself by looking at your handwriting, analyzing the slanting of the words and the pressure of the pen. The little stains on the paper, he didn’t have to be a genius to know, were your tears. It broke his heart, to know he was causing you this much pain. He didn’t need to be there to see it, he felt it through your words.

He often questioned if it was worth it, if he was protecting you, or himself, or maybe even what you were or weren’t.

Even now, the weight of your words sat heavily on his mind, and right by his heart, in the pocket of his jacket, he felt the weight of the 9 letters you wrote. 

As he looked over from the little window of the jet, he couldn’t help but wonder if, in his desire to shield you from everything, he hadn’t gone too far. Ultimately, was he going to be forgiven, or be forced to pick up the pieces of the reality broken by his own doing?

“Don’t do that.” JJ’s gentle voice startled him from the overwhelming nature of his thoughts. She’d spent the last 30 minutes since they boarded silently observing him, waiting for him to pick up a conversation. But he’d decided to stay num. 

In every twitch of his fingers, in his desire to get comfortable but being unable to, she could see that he was restless. If she had to guess, his mind was much the same. 

“Do what?”

She gave him a look, one, had he not known her long enough, he might have been offended by. Clearly, she was offended herself, watching him play the clueless card. 

“Spence, I don’t need to profile you to know that your mind’s running a thousand miles a minute, contemplating your decisions, and I don’t think you should. You did what you thought was right, and no one blames you for that, not for Mexico, and not for what you did after,” she spoke evenly, gathering even Penelope and Alvez’s attention from where they sat. He looked over, receiving a smile and a nod from both before focusing on JJ again. 

Rationally, he knew she was right about everything. He didn’t need to run himself ragged with everything he could have done differently, or search for the perfect way to explain, or overall, the perfect outcome of his own decisions. He knew there wasn’t one, there was no perfect way to say what he needed to, no perfect words to pick so he could fix this and erase the pain he knew he’d caused. 

Perfection wasn’t something you could strive to achieve, because there’s no such thing as perfection. The term was diverse, everyone had a different perspective on what that might look like. If for JJ, perfection was the family that waited for her at home every time she returned from a case, for Spencer, perfection was vastly different. 

For him, perfection was the rich aroma of coffee that could cause someone’s insulin to spike because of the amount of sugar in it. The softness of a book page between his fingers, or the familiarity of a book he’d read before but needed to revisit. 

Perfection was the sound of your laugh whenever he was the one to prompt the sound. The way your eyes lit up every time you listened to him babble on. Perfection was the time he got to spend with you every day, every hour, and every minute that he could remember with almost scary accuracy. 

He could sit and wonder what the perfect way to go about this was, but there simply wasn’t one, there was only the truth. And as painful, hopeful, or even a little dumb as it was, that was the best he could give.

And maybe that’s what his mind should focus on instead, the truth, in its simplest form, at its core the truth he’d hidden for months, and then the truth he’d hidden for years. 

He had wondered long enough if he’d made the right choice. He spent plenty of time focusing on the shame he’d felt, prompted by the disappointment he’d seen in his friends’ eyes whenever they brought up your name. How he’d sit, silent, or give an answer so short and angry, it’d add even more shame to the one he already felt. 

Beyond his time in prison, where he spent most of his time questioning his decisions, he spent years before that questioning himself as a person. His place on the team, his intelligence, even his failings. His inability to form relationships where he’d be seen as more than Dr. Reid, or the skinny kid, pretty boy, or a genius. A relationship that’d make him feel like simply Spencer, without the added adjectives, that sometimes made him feel like a circus clown. 

Only when he’d been locked up, had he started to realize that he’d finally built a relationship with someone with whom he could be himself. The most basic, boring, and peaceful version of himself, and slowly, all had started falling into place. 

How content he felt whenever he was around you, the desire to tell you every good or bad news he received. How when you asked about his mother, it warmed his heart, or how worried he felt when you acted stupid in the field. How out of control he’d felt when you’d gone missing last year. Or even, at the time, the unexplained jealousy he’d felt seeing you talk with another man.

Morgan had asked, once, twice, a lot, if maybe he didn’t have a crush, but he’d denied it, every time. And every time he’d question himself, he'd dismiss the idea just as quickly. 

Yet, upon being forced away from you, the pieces had started mending into one. 

Every realization he’d had was like a new broken piece being glued to the overall mosaic. And every new piece added built everything he felt about you. And it was a lot, and it was overwhelming, and so, so right, it sometimes felt wrong. Because he was inside a prison of his own doing, and you were out there, made to wait for him, for an explanation, for the truth. 

And he’d vowed to himself that the moment he was out, he’d put everything on the table, no matter how much he’d fucked up or how much he’d hurt you. He’d sit there, and he’d let it out, and if necessary, he’d even beg for your forgiveness. 

Because there wasn’t a moment in this life, he wanted to live through, without you there with him.

Your POV

You pulled the trigger, your eyes focused, and your hands steady. Three consecutive shots were fired, each one hitting its intended target. Three more followed, and then as many as it took to empty the magazine. 

You put down the gun and took a deep breath, steadying your heartbeat, trying to rid yourself of the deep-seated anxiety you felt. An odd sense of calm overtook you whenever you found yourself at the shooting range. Maybe it was the everpresent scent of gunpowder or the quiet only disturbed by the firing of a gun. Or even the possibility of escaping your rising thoughts, the desire to run or scream, sometimes both. 

There was a sense of solitude there that almost made it easier to breathe. The repetitive motion and the weight of the gun in your hands felt like second nature. 

Front sight, trigger press, follow through, just like Hotch had taught you all those years ago. As long as you held that gun, your mind was quiet, and you focused on something other than the worry you felt. 

It made sense you found yourself there shortly after Emily had shared the long-awaited good news - Spencer was finally free, and JJ, Penelope, and Luke were on route back with him. For a short moment, you’d felt the weight being lifted from your chest, and then it dropped again, now tripled. 

Suddenly, your earlier conversation with Emily had gotten as real as the target before you. Even with the sense of peace, you’d felt after, your thoughts on the matter clear, you still felt a sense of dread at the idea of seeing him. 

As if he wasn’t your best friend, the man who’d long ago won your affection and captured your heart, but rather a stranger who held your future in his hands. And he might as well be, because whatever the truth to the questions you wanted answered was, one thing was for sure.

It’d either make or break you both.

You picked up a new magazine, and loaded the gun, aiming at the target before releasing the safety. Before you fired again, you released a breath, and with it, all the feelings within you - fear, uncertainty, yearning, and the sense of madness, which, although mild, was persistent.

You fired once, twice, your aim impeccable, and then, out of nowhere, you missed. 

The hair at the back of your neck rose, your heart rate quickened, and the feeling of another’s presence in the room was unmistakable. It took you just a second to put the pieces together, the intrusion felt like anything but that. 

Instead, for a brief moment, the person brought with them a familiar feeling of calm. In the next instance, though, reality came crashing like a tidal wave, and you knew you’d run out of time. 

Your hands shook as you put down the gun. You could feel him watching you, probably standing next to the door, as if he couldn’t will himself to move closer. The anxiety was palpable in the air, although you couldn’t really say if it was yours or his, most likely, it was a mix of both.

You went to reach for your protection but hesitated. Once you took it off, there’d no longer be an excuse for you to ignore him, you’d finally have to meet the reality he’d so carefully crafted for you.

Even though you felt like you could barely breathe, the desire to finally lay your eyes on him won out. 

Without missing another beat, you took off your earplugs and then your eye protection. You could faintly hear the sound of shoes squicking against the floor. He could never stay still when he was nervous.  

You picked up on the sound of your own breathing too, the beating of your heart was almost erratic. You were waiting, what for, you weren’t sure. 

He was waiting too, for you to turn around, to lay his eyes on you. Like a sadist, waiting to see the pain he’d caused, or a masochist, wishing for his own in turn. 

70 days of slowly killing you both.

When you finally dared to turn around, it took you a moment to fully take him in. He looked like the Spencer you knew, yet there was something different about him too. Dressed in his usual suit and tie outfit, he didn’t look comfortable. His posture was rigid, almost defensive. It wasn’t a conscious decision, that much you were sure of.

His hair was longer, pushed back, curling at the ends, and he’d lost some weight. Not much, but enough to make an impression after all this time. He looked pensive, like the weight of the world sat on his shoulders, but maybe it was just the weight of the consequences he had to face.

Your eyes ran over every inch of him multiple times, intentionally avoiding his gaze for as long as possible. Seconds and minutes passed, and you weren’t really sure how much exactly. 

Spencer knew, though, of course, he did. If his fear of meeting you eye to eye was as great as yours was, you knew he was counting until the torture of the act itself was over. 

89 seconds he’d counted, although now with you there, they felt longer than the days without you did. 

When you eventually met his gaze, you felt a part of your heart chip on the inside. What people said about the eyes being a portal to one's soul couldn’t have been more right in that moment. Spencer, a man who excelled at hiding his emotions when he really wanted to, had let them out as clear as day for you to see. 

His eyes sparkled with so much sadness and guilt that it threatened to take you apart even before he had the chance to talk. Something softened within you at that moment, but in the next instance, it was like someone else took over. 

One moment you wanted to cry for him or with him, and the next you felt like your whole being needed to be let out. 

“Is that…is that all you can offer me right now? More of your silence? Don’t you think I’ve had enough of that?” The questions, a few of many to follow, had a bite to them. 

His face fell a little, taken aback by your tone. He fidgeted with his fingers, unsure what to say, or where to start. How could he answer your question? He pictured a scenario where his words flew freely, where he gave you an explanation worthy of forgiveness and a confession, so earnest that it ended with you in his arms. 

Try as he might, the words didn’t come to him, just a barely audible accusation. 

“That’s not fair.”

You scoffed, as if in outrage. A madness, one born out of so much heartbreak, took over, it was blinding. If someone had asked you to explain yourself, you’d say that wasn’t you. You’d never be so forward, almost cruel, to him, but at that moment, being mad sounded so much better than being vulnerable. Like a shield, you weren’t ready to let go of yet.

“How exactly is this not fair, Spencer? It’s the truth!” you yelled, and you felt free, finally letting it all out. “You want to know what isn’t fair, though? The way you isolated me OUT of your life! For three months, I’ve had to stand on the sidelines and beg for scraps, just to know you were okay. Every pitiful look I’d get from the people I consider family felt like another stab to the heart. That’s what’s not fair!” You were screaming so loud. It was a good thing the range was soundproof, otherwise, the whole of the BAU would have been deep in your business by now. 

If he looked surprised by the accusation, he didn’t really show it. His posture took a turn, though. The rigidity disappeared, and in turn, it opened, as if the need to comfort you overpowered the uncertainty or the mask he’d had to hold while imprisoned. 

You didn’t want his comfort, not right now. Maybe later, when all was said and done, you’d get to have a normal conversation without the frustrations of the past. At that moment, you just wanted everything out of your system. You wanted the questions, the answers, and the truth. 

His silence continued as he started closing the distance between you. You wanted to move, to create more distance, but there was nowhere to go. You were squeezed between the range, and him. Whatever else was left than to continue begging for clarity.

“It’s not fair being sent away the first time I came to see you. To learn you didn’t want to see me! Each time it was my turn to visit you, do you want to know where I was? I sat outside that fucking prison, wishing for a glimpse of the person who’s been my rock for 12 years! Holding back tears, thinking you didn’t…you didn’t care like I did. Is this what I really deserve after 12 years by your side?” You almost slipped, you almost told him, and maybe you should have, it might have prompted him to talk or to say something. But no, he stayed silent. Step after step, he limped, his cheek twitched, and his brows furrowed, but like a coward, he remained quiet. 

He was meters away from you, three more steps, and he’d completely close the distance, and meet you face to face. 

“Say something, Spencer, damn it!” Your throat burned from the strain, and he advanced even more. “Anything,” you finished in a whisper, and all of a sudden, all the fight left you, and your eyes watered and your vision went blurry. 

He was just a step away then, and when you looked into his eyes, you couldn’t help but see how they shined. 

He reached forward, one hand taking hold of your arm while the other went to hold your waist, but you shook your head. “No, Spencer, please,” you whispered. You didn’t want to find yourself in his arms, because that would be the last of your composure, gone. You’d surrender to the feel of him like you even had a choice not to. 

He didn’t stop, not until you were snug into his arms, one of his hands at the back of your neck, holding your head tenderly, but the arm around your waist held onto you as if he was scared you’d slip away from him. 

Once in his arms, you finally let go, breaking down into pieces, hoping he’d be able to hold them all from crumbling to the ground. 

“Hey, shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He kept repeating, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your pulse point. All the while, you could only stand, your arms at your sides, as if paralyzed.

Being in his arms felt like being home somehow. It felt so right after having been deprived of the feeling for so long. It felt like there was nothing wrong, and nothing could go wrong at that moment. 

Even though you hadn't initially wanted his comfort, somewhere deep inside, you craved his tender touch. You craved the feel of his body near and the faint scent that was so uniquely him - a mix of coffee, fall, and old paper, books. You realized then that you craved the sound of his voice too, another part of him you’d been deprived of. 

The voice of the always rambling boy that never failed to bring a smile to your face, even when you couldn’t understand him sometimes. 

And the more he whispered, his voice broken and shaky, the harder you cried. You’d thought nothing could match the heartbreak of his actions or the anger of his silence, but the reality of being held against him brought the realization that your suffering mirrored his own. 

If you’d been dying on the inside for months, he’d been on the other side of the link holding you tethered to each other, dying just as much. 

And you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer after that. You buried your head in the crook of his neck, and your arms finally circled his waist underneath his suit jacket, fisting the back of his shirt as if it were your one lifeline. 

You felt him exhale when you finally returned his touch, most likely in relief, before he dropped a light kiss on your head. 

You cried for the relief of having him back and close. For unspoken truths and time wasted, years of figuring out feelings clear as day. For all the anger, for all of his silence, for all you felt for him. 

He cried for all the pain he’d caused you and for all the time he’d wasted being alone instead of being with you. He cried for himself, he cried for you, and he cried, overwhelmed by his feelings for you. 

You clung to one another, crying, and minutes were passing and neither of you cared. Not when you had each other. 

After a while, when both your tears dried out and your cries quieted, but you still felt the need to hold each other close, you dared to murmur a broken “Why?” hoping he’d hear, hoping he’d understand. 

It didn’t take him long to mumble a reply, no longer silent. 

“All the words in the world available, and I wish I could explain.” it came out just as quietly, both of you scared to break the little bubble you’d found yourselves in. 

You pulled back from him, wanting to look into his eyes, red-rimmed and still sparkling when you felt yourself begging again. 

“Then try, please, because I’d rather know, and not understand, than not know at all.” And it was the truth. He could speak in riddles if he wanted, but you needed to know why he’d made that choice. 

You looked at him expectantly before he pushed a piece of hair back, and his hand once again settled at the back of your head, gently cupping it. 

“I wanted you safe from a world you didn’t belong in,” he admitted on an exhale, like a lifelong secret he’d gotten tired of holding onto. 

You looked at him in wonder, and it was on the tip of your tongue to tell him he didn’t belong in that world either, but just as you opened your mouth to speak, he shook his head. 

“I was ashamed when I had you removed from the visitor’s list. I didn’t want you to see me like that, like a criminal,” he started, pulling you into his arms, not wanting to admit it to you eye to eye, out of fear of being right. Of course, he was wrong, but that didn’t stop him from wondering. 

“The first time JJ visited me, they leered at her like they were being fed fresh meat, taking her in, committing her to memory. A cage full of animals. I knew then that I didn’t want that for you, and any guilt I had at keeping you away disappeared that day. It hurt me, knowing I was failing you and whatever trust you had in me,” he whispered, wishing to keep the reality of his thoughts and his feelings in a little bubble as if you only existed in it.

“I’m not the same person I was before, I couldn’t be him, even if it meant losing a part of myself in the process. I couldn’t really be a decent human being without bearing the consequences. Everything I saw, everything I did, and everything that was done to me, I don’t think I’d ever fully be the person I was before. And that too, I’m thankful I spared you from seeing.” It would explain his rigidity, a defense mechanism he’d had to get used to. 

And while everything he’d said thus far was true the biggest truth, he’d had yet to say. He had yet to really explain why he’d done what he’d done in the first place. He was stalling, still afraid, but the longer he held you, the longer he felt your heart beating in time with his, the more sure he became. 

To hell with the consequences, to hell with whatever happened after, he was right here in the now, alive, breathing, his arms around you, finally at peace. 

He pulled back, took your face into his hands, and finally whispered.

“Most of all, though, I knew I loved you enough to risk us if it meant keeping you safe.” It left him in a rush, a confession waiting to be let out for months. A feeling he’d had for years, and a moment where he could finally be open about it. 

“What…?” you licked your lips, shocked that you might not have heard him correctly. ”What does us mean?” This part of the conversation felt like you were daydreaming about it, it just didn’t feel real. 

“It means whatever you want it to be. Whatever you want us to be.” All of a sudden, it was that simple. 

“So, you love me?” You had a hard time taking it all in, yet your heart fluttered in pure happiness. “And you…you want us?” 

"Yes.” Even before you were done speaking, he was already answering. He was desperate to finally admit he was absolutely smitten by you. 

Months of figuring out your feelings, years of hiding them, a conversation to finally prompt a confession out of you, and all this time it was reciprocated. You could have cried, happiness like no other coursing through you, pure bliss. 

You wanted back into his arms, you wanted to kiss him so badly that your blood was burning from the need to feel him like you'd never been able to before. And yet, you knew there was something else you needed to do before you could finally do it.

“Spence, you don’t push away the people you love, no matter the cost. You rely on their love to help aid you when you’re at your lowest.” You gave his sides a light squeeze before you looked back into his eyes, only to see them hopeful and uncertain at the same time.

He looked hopeful, for the possibility that you might actually love him back, but uncertain because it felt like you might be pushing him away this time. 

“I can’t go through this again. Having to watch you wither away, in prison, at home, or by your own thoughts, I won’t be able to handle being pushed away again,” whispers, cries, pleas, memories full of heartbreak intertwined with present confessions full of joy. 

His eyes watered then, his lips trembling. Any sign of hope was gone, and in its’ place stood the realization of a man who’d maybe gone a little too far. He’d pushed you away, and now, it was your time to be the one sticking and twisting the knife deep, breaking his heart in the process. 

If someone were to ask him at that moment what his biggest regret was, he’d say this. This was his biggest regret, his own choices. 

A tear escaped him, and you reached up, wiping it away gently before you spoke again.

“If..if this is going to go anywhere, you need to rely on me. You need to believe that I can handle anything and everything, just as long as you are by my side. All those years of being pushed away - your addiction, Maeve and Gideon’s deaths, your mom’s diagnosis, Cat Adams - you weren’t alone then, you aren’t alone now, and you won’t be alone in the future. You’ll always have me by your side, you’ll always have my support. Most of all, you’ll have my love, but when things get hard, I need you to lean on me, and trust that I can help you because together we can pull through everything, anything is possible as long as we are together.” You finished on an exhale, full-on crying now. You could barely see him, but from the little you could, you saw tears streaming down his face, and a smile that grew wide, happy.

Those words, he knew them word for word. For 13 days, he’d repeat them, no longer needing to see them written down, he had them engraved in his brain. Your letters he could recite, but your final one he’d remember as long as he lived. 

“I promise to lean on you and trust that you’d help me because together we can pull through everything, anything is possible as long as we are together,” he whispered back, his eyes searching yours for just a moment before he pulled you in, and finally, his lips met yours. 

He kissed you, tentative at first, testing the waters. He wanted to take his time, commit your lips to memory, gentle, and plump, exactly how he’d imagined they’d feel. The more he kissed you, the more he couldn’t stop. Passion, urgency, desire - his kisses turned desperate like he wanted to swallow you whole and never let you go. 

He bit your lip gently, asking for access, before his tongue intertwined with yours and he pulled you flush against him, closing any gap left between you. Chest, hips, there wasn’t an inch where you weren’t touching. 

It felt so familiar, even though you hadn’t kissed before. So right, like no one's kisses had felt before. As if your whole lives, kissing each other was the missing piece in a complicated puzzle, waiting to be put together. Coming together as one, it felt magnetic, a feeling of euphoria, pure ecstasy, no one else mattered, no other feeling mattered at that moment, other than your hands on each other and your lips locked together. 

Time was passing by, and you didn’t care. Years of missed opportunities, hidden feelings, and long-awaited realizations all led to this moment. Starved for each other, a kiss full of fervor and even the taste of tears was present. Unimaginable, but very real.

When you finally pulled apart, he wiped your tears, and you wiped his in turn, before he gathered you back in the comfort of his arms, laying a kiss on the side of your head.

And between the four walls around you, nestled in each other’s arms, the place where no one could touch you, in a shared breath you both whispered. 

“I love you.” 

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[puckinghischier]

Fallen

Nico Hischier x fem!reader

summary: part 2 to falling

notes: hello!!! considering it’s after midnight, i’m giving you guys a gift for my birthday. this was very fun to write and i continue to just make myself sad that i don’t have a nico in my life. i hope you enjoy! happy reading! 🫶🏼

this is unedited!!

request: anon requested a part 2 to falling

[4.9k]

“I really wish you’d let me carry something, Neeks,” you whine out, pressing the button to call the elevator down to the parking garage.

“Nope. I’m perfectly capable of carrying your groceries on my own,” Nico dramatically swings the reusable shopping bags over his shoulder, walking a few feet away before turning and striking a pose.

Your laugh echoes around the concrete garage, amused at his theatrics.

It’s been about three weeks since your accident at the rink, and Nico hasn’t left your side since. As long as he’s in Jersey, that is.

After that first night he’s only really left your apartment to either go to practice and games, or to sleep. Sometimes even the latter not being true, considering there’s been a few nights he’s crashed on your couch after late-night movie sessions or particularly rough games.

During your follow up appointment your doctor told you to keep the sling on for a few more weeks, not wanting to add any unnecessary strain to the healing muscles in your shoulder. After you told Nico the sling was here to stay, he insisted he was going to, literally, be your right-hand man.

You were also told, as long as you and the sling are one, going to work is on your list of restricted activities. So is any form of strenuous activity, lifting anything over ten pounds, and whatever else Nico deems unsafe for you to do. Like carrying your groceries.

Nico has shown up at your apartment every morning with a cup of coffee, either bringing you breakfast or offering to cook for you. He takes his post-practice and pre-game naps on your couch in case you need him to do anything for you. After home games he shows up with takeout and candy, keeping you company while you’re stuck in your apartment day after day.

When he’s on the road he enlisted the help of Jesper’s girlfriend, Nicole, to come over and check on you at least once a day. Anytime he’s playing in a different state, no matter where he is, he always manages to have dinner delivered to your house, making sure you’re not stuck eating microwave meals and simple dinners, thanks to your limited cooking ability and lack of being able to drive at the moment.

Before he has to leave for stretch of away games, he always makes sure he takes you to the grocery store, stocking your pantry and fridge to make sure you have everything you need while he’s gone. He calls you every chance he has on the road, wanting to check on you and how you’re feeling while keeping you up on the team happenings, knowing how eager you are to get back to work.

Today is one of his ‘preparation’ days, as you’ve dubbed them. He showed up this morning with a coffee and a bagel, cut into quarters instead of in halves, so the insides wouldn’t slip out of the other side when you tried to take a one-handed bite. He did your dishes and folded your laundry for you while you showered, twisting your hair into one of his trademark braids after you were dressed before ushering you out of your apartment, claiming the two of you had errands to run.

The first errand on his list was taking you to the rink, a satisfied feeling settling over him when he saw the large smile on your face when he told you he asked if you could sit in on practice today. You were practically buzzing with excitement, not having been at the rink since the day of your fall. You had grown to love the sport of hockey during your time at your job. Missing the chill of the air, the sound of pucks sliding across the ice and the scrape of their skates as the players come to a stop.

Several of the players slide over to the bench where you sit, just as excited to see you as you are to see them.

Jack and Luke come over first, telling you how ready they are for you to be back, having given themselves the job of Puck Police, ensuring that all of the pucks are cleared out of the skate path leading towards the benches.

Jesper, Timo, and Holtzy tell you how much they miss the jokes you would tell them so they would quit mean mugging and actually smile during arrival pictures.

Dawson, Johnny, and Curtis joined the gathered group, bringing you a card that everyone from the team had signed. It was a giant novelty card, clearly custom made, considering there was a picture of the whole team on the front, the inside reading “Sorry you fell over our pucks. We feel really pucking bad about it.”

You were doubled over in laughter the entire time the team spent chatting with you before their practice officially started, fulling understanding the sentiment that laughter is the best medicine. You were even able to give the young girl filling in for you some pointers, helping her adjust the settings on the camera for different shots, happy you were able to sneak in a little bit of work to your visit.

After practice was over and Nico was showered and ready to go, the two of you went out for lunch at a small café just down the street from the rink, their large bakery selection immediately catching your eye. You ended up having cake for lunch, telling Nico to mind his own business when he asked if you wanted any ‘real’ food.

Once lunch was over, he took you to the grocery store, helping you pick out ready made meals and a few other essentials before bringing you back to your apartment, where you were currently witnessing Nico’s wannabe model moves.

Once the elevator lifts you to your floor, you walk over and unlock your door, leaving it open behind you for Nico to walk through, following you straight to your kitchen to put away your groceries.

You grab a box of cereal, setting it down on the counter before reaching up to open your cabinet door. Just as you’re reaching up to place the box on the shelf, you hear something fall, a bottle of water slipping off of one of the shelves in your fridge. You jump slightly, trying to turn your body at the same time, the sudden movement pinching one of the nerves in your shoulder, causing you to let out a hiss.

Nico immediately clocked the displeased noise, jerking his body into a standing position and walking over towards you.

“Are you okay? What happened? Did you try to lift this up with your bad arm?” he asks you, arms hovering around your frame, eyes glued your slinged shoulder.

You finish pushing the cardboard box onto the shelf, closing the wooden cabinet door.

Rolling your arm a bit, you turn to face Nico.

“I’m fine. Just jumped a little and it caught my shoulder in a funny way, I guess. No big deal, just more uncomfortable than anything,” you assure him.

He narrows his eyes at you, trying to gauge if you’re lying to him or not.

Narrowing your eyes back at him, you pull a face at him.

He backs up, laughing, seemingly convinced you’re fine.

Walking back over to finish placing the several salad kits you bought in the fridge, Nico starts talking with his head fully inside of your fridge.

“So, we leave out around six tonight and I won’t be back until late Friday night,” he tells you, meaning he’ll be gone almost four full days, considering today is Monday. “Nicole offered to stay over here if you wanted her to, incase you needed to go anywhere.”

You’ve gained a friend in Nicole through this whole process, enjoying her company. You didn’t have many girl friends in the city, your job taking up the majority of your time. Nico was the person you spent the most time with, even before these past few weeks, but you occasionally tagged along to outings with the team, growing close to Jack, Luke, Timo, and Jesper, too. You figure that’s why Nico chose to ask Nicole to help out, seeing as you’d spent some time with her during celebratory bar nights and get togethers at Nico’s apartment.

The two of you were friendly before, but now you would consider yourself good friends, going out to lunch together and watching bad reality tv during the day when she would come over. She even helped you do your skincare routine one night before bed, giving you different tips and tricks on the order of application. It felt like you were in middle school again having a sleepover with your best friend.

“I might take her up on that. I think there’s new episodes of The Circle on Netflix. We could binge them while eating ice cream!” your eyes light up with an idea.

Nico laughs and shakes his head at you while shutting your fridge door.

“I really don’t understand your obsession with these awful shows. Jesper and I were talking about how we wouldn’t be surprised if the two of you signed up for your own spot on one soon.”

The thought of Nico talking about you when Jesper is talking about Nicole makes your brain stutter for a moment.

You can’t deny that your new found feelings for Nico have continued to develop during the time he’s spent being your self-appointed helper. His insistence on being your personal chauffer, showing up every day like clockwork, even going as far to tell the media team the alternate captains are going to have to do post-game media for home games until you’re back to work causes your feelings to grow each day.

You haven’t told your mom about the arrangement with Nico, not wanting to get her hopes up, still not entirely convinced Nico isn’t just being nice. The two of you haven’t shared any intense moments like the first night he braided your hair, now the braiding sessions being filled with small talk and laughter.

Hearing that Nico is bringing you up when Jesper is talking about his own girlfriend, however, sparks a seed of hope in you.

“And if we do, you and Jesper can be our cheerleaders from the other side,” you tell him, sticking your tongue out.

When Nico finishes putting away the rest of your groceries, he takes the reusable bag and returns it to its hiding spot under the sink.

At this point, Nico knows your apartment as well as you do. He knows where all of your dishes go, because he unloads your dishwasher and washes anything by hand that won’t fit. He knows where all of your clothes go in your room, helping you wash, fold, and put away your laundry – with the exception of your underwear, he hasn’t earned access to that drawer yet. He knows where everything in your bathroom is, having to take a shower one morning after he crashed on the couch. He even knows which junk drawer has which random items in it.

You’ve become so comfortable with Nico being here, it’s like a tiny part of you doesn’t want your arm to heal, just so he has to continue coming over and playing roommate.

Nico walks over and leans against your stove, facing you.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine while I’m gone? It’s the longest stretch of away games we’ve had since your fall.”

He looks genuinely worried, the thought causing a familiar swirl in your belly.

“I’ll be fine, Neeks. This thing comes off next week anyways,” you lift the arm in your sling for emphasis. “I’m going to have to get used to you being gone again, anyways. This week will be like a practice run.”

You catch the way Nico’s eyes just slightly fall. If you weren’t always paying attention to his beautiful eyes, you would’ve missed it, perking up just as quickly as they fell.

“God, finally. Thought I’d have to be your maid forever,” he exaggerates his words, making a big show of rolling his eyes and throwing his arms up above his head.

“Oh shut it, you love hanging out with me,” you step towards him, wagging your finger in his face.

He tilts his head, pretending to think about your words. “Yeah, I guess you’re pretty good company,” he reaches out, grabbing the finger a few inches from his nose.

The two of you stand there, his hand not letting go of your finger, letting it drop in-between your bodies.

His lips fall from his wide smile, slightly separated as he stares at you.

Feeling the energy shift, you stare back at him, not knowing what exactly is happening. Neither one of you have spoken for a solid minute now, your finger still trapped in his hand.

Your eyes flick down to his pink lips, and back up to his eyes. He darts his tongue out to lick his dry lips, unable to move your gaze from them this time. Thinking about what his lips would feel like on yours, the alarm bells start going off in your head.

Clearing your throat and stepping back, you break the moment, not knowing what else to do.

Nico drops your finger, bringing a hand up to run through his long hair, looking away from your face.

Was he thinking about kissing you like you were thinking about kissing him? Would you have really let him? Why did you interrupt the moment? You like him you idiot!

When Nico pushes himself off of your stove, you start ignoring the voice in your head.

“I need to get going. Still need to stop by my place and grab a few things before heading to the rink,” he says, still refusing to meet your eye. “I’ll, uh, call you when we get there, like usual, okay?”

Nodding at him you reply with a “Yeah, sounds good.”

“Alright. Good. I’ll see you in a few days?” he walks over to you, hands twitching at his sides like he wants to give you a hug, but doesn’t know if he should.

You eliminate the space between you, wrapping him up in a hug. “Sounds perfect. Play safe.”

He hugs your body to his for a few more moments before letting go, a small “Bye” leaving his mouth before he grabs his keys off of your kitchen table and exits your apartment with a wave.

You stand in your kitchen thinking about your interaction, deciding a phone call to your mother was needed.

———————————————————————————

Grabbing the bowl of freshly popped popcorn, you walk back over to your living room and plop down next to Nicole.

Tonight was the night the boys are supposed to be getting back from their road trip. Since they weren’t supposed to be getting back until late tonight, you decided to spend the evening watching some of your favorite rom coms to pass the time.

Nicole always said waiting for Jesper to get home on the day of was the worst, because she knows its so close but the time always seems to drag. You surprisingly understood, the past week feeling like the longest of your life without Nico’s presence around your apartment.

After your phone call with your mom the other night, you allowed yourself to realize you want to be with Nico. Your confession to her that you did actually have feelings for the hockey player earned a squeal of joy and an extremely enthusiastic “I told you so!”

Talking with your mom about his actions throughout your whole accident and healing process really opened your eyes to how long you’ve really had feelings for him. You weren’t completely blind, finding Nico attractive from the very beginning, but you hadn’t really let yourself go all the way. Preventing yourself from getting your hopes up and embarrassing yourself, you kept using the excuse of him just being nice to justify why there were no feelings involved in your friendship.

You realized what a load of bullshit that was, though, considering how often you found yourself calling him to tell him good news whenever you received any. Or wanting to have a movie night anytime you were upset or sad, knowing your mood would improve the second Nico walked through your door. Or all the times at the bar when you would ignore men’s advances, wanting to just spend time talking with Nico the whole night.

Your mom recounted all the times she knew, once again marking that first time he helped you on the ice as the moment. She’s still not able to convince you that it was then, considering you and Nico didn’t even really know each other then.

Thinking back on your phone call with your mom made you think about how you hadn’t heard from Nico in a while, pulling your phone out to see if he had given you any update on where they were.

Nicole threw a handful of popcorn at you, fussing at you to pay attention to the movie and that they’ll be home when they’re home. You surrendered to her wishes and placed your phone face down on the coffee table in front of you.

Your third movie of the night was about halfway over when you heard a key turning in the lock on your door, knowing that only one other person had a key to your apartment.

You grab the remote and pause the movie, turning your body to face behind your couch, waiting for Nico to walk around the corner.

As he rounds the corner, suitcase in hand, you can’t help the grin that breaks out on your face.

“You’re back!” you exclaim, fighting the urge to leap off of the couch and crush him in a hug.

“I’m tired,” he responds, his smile bright but eyes tired.

The dark skin under his eyes confirm his words, assuming he had been asleep on the plane until they landed.

“Well, I guess that means I need to get home to Jesp,” Nicole says, sitting up and grabbing her shoes.

Nico looks over, mumbling out a “Good to see you Nicole, thanks for keeping her company this week,” before looking over at you, yawning as he told you he was going to take a quick shower then crash on your couch.

You give him a nod, telling him the stuff he bought last time was still in there.

Nicole gives the two of you a look, waiting until she hears the bathroom door shut to speak up.

“He keeps shower stuff here?”

Looking over at her you explain the time he fell asleep here and needed to shower that morning, stating you had too many expensive looking products to waste on himself, so he bought his own shower essentials and uses them anytime he decides to shower here after practice.

“So let me get this straight. He comes home to your apartment after a long road series, keeps his own products in your shower, has a key, and stays the night sometimes?” she watches you nod, her words not sinking in. “So, he does all of this, but the two of you still claim you’re just friends?”

Not knowing how to respond, you just stare at her. She keeps looking at you, waiting for your answer.

“Well…I mean…I don’t know,” you finally spit out.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” she questions.

“I mean, there’s little moments here and there that lets me think we could be more than friends, but I don’t want to bring it up because what if he’s just being nice? What if he agrees that we’re really just friends?” you open up to Nicole, the only other person you’re able to talk about this with being your mom.

She scoffs at you. “Are you kidding me? What kind of moments? Because from where Jesper and I are sitting, we keep expecting you guys to make it official any day now.”

Your cheeks heat at her words. “Well, like the fact I never even had to ask him to do all of this stuff for me, he just did. And he admitted that he drove all the way to the hospital the night I got hurt because no one had any updates, then drove here with no socks on when they told him I had already come home. He keeps getting all of these restaurants to cut my food up in weird ways so it’s easier for me to eat with one hand. And if they don’t do it, he will,” you keep rambling, not focusing on your surroundings enough to hear the shower shut off. “I mean, he offered me skating lessons when he saw me stumble on the ice once, then started coming over for dinner multiple times a week, unless they’re on the road.”

Nicole looks past you down the short hallway, noticing the light shining through the open bathroom door.

You keep talking. “The biggest one, though, is that I think we almost kissed before they left on Monday,” you tell her, causing Nicole’s eyebrows to shoot up.

“SPILL,” Nicole insists, her interest at an all time high.

“Well, we were standing in my kitchen just goofing off and I stuck my finger in his face. He grabbed it and wouldn’t let go, then we just kind of started staring at each other. Before I knew what was happening, I was staring at his lips and he was staring at mine, then I got nervous and stepped back before anything could happen,” you tell her with a shrug.

Nicole groans. “Are you serious!? You could have kissed him and you chickened out? What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know! I was thinking ‘what if I just have something on my face and he doesn’t actually want to kiss me.’”

She shakes her head at you. Movement down the hallway catches her eye, watching Nico step out of the small bathroom, and idea forming.

“I mean, you do like him, right?” She watches Nico’s figure stop in his tracks.

You sigh at her, letting your head sag a bit.

“Of course I like Nico. He’s kind, funny, takes care of me,” you start, a dreamy tone making its way into your voice. “Not to mention he’s insanely attractive. I just…don’t want to mess things up.”

Nicole flits her eyes over to Nico while you’re not paying attention, watching his face morph into shock.

“Y/N, the only way you’re going to be able to know if he feels the same way or not is to tell him. Forget about making a fool of yourself. Nico won’t shun you if he doesn’t feel the same way, he’s not that kind of guy,” she assures you.

“I know, Nic. But how do I even bring it up? How do I find the right time to slide ‘hey, so I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, let me know if you feel the same!’” You pull a thumbs up at her, pulling a sarcastic face.

Nicole smirks at you, confusing you until she says “Just like that,” before pointing behind you to a freshly showered Nico standing in the hallway, having heard every word you just said.

You turn around, snapping your head back towards Nicole when you see Nico. You don’t move, too petrified with the fact he just heard you say you were in love with him.

“Y/N, is that true?” Nico calls out, cautiously walking towards your couch.

Nicole stands, claiming it was time for her to go before she hastily made her exit.

Your eyes are squeezed shut, trying to pull off the ‘if I can’t see them, they can’t see me,’ move.

“Is what you just told Nicole true? You’re in love with me?” you hear from in front of you now, feeling the couch dip.

You refuse to open your eyes, wanting to disappear into thin air. When Nico reaches his hand out, grabbing your non-slinged hand in his own, your eyes snap open.

He’s looking at you with an expression in his eyes you’ve only ever seen a few times before. Once when you wore his jersey for opposites day at work, handing him your camera to tote around all day as you, very poorly, skated around the ice, trying to scoot a puck around. The second was when you surprised him with a pan of brownies for his birthday, knowing how much he loves the chocolatey squares. The third was when he braided your hair for the first time, recognizing the softness of his eyes through the mirror. The most recent, aside from right now, was earlier this week, during the same moment you just described to Nicole.

“I…” you try to speak, but you’re still stuck in shock.

Nico chuckles and drops his head, looking at your hand in his.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, too?” he repeats your words, looking up and into your eyes as he says them.

Your mouth snaps shut, a new kind of shock entering your system.

“I think I have been since that first time Jack almost took you out on the ice,” he starts. “I had seen you before, but we only really spoke when you were telling me how to pose for pictures. Or making me smile for arrival pictures,” he reminisces, a fond smile on his face. “I always thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, but I knew I had to get you to talk to me somehow, the skating lessons being my perfect in,” he tells you, squeezing your hand.

You can’t believe your mother was right. The lessons were a calculated move for Nico to establish himself in your life.

Nico keeps talking, pulling you from the realization. “The more we spent time together, the more I realized I wanted you to be more than just my pretty coworker I taught how to ice skate. So, when you offered the dinners after lessons, I jumped. I was hoping it was your way of telling me you had feelings for me, too, but when you kept telling your mom we were just friends, I figured I could wait it out a little longer,” he references all the times you complained about your mom jumping to conclusions. “I kept lying in wait, trying to find the perfect moment to make my move, and then you got hurt. I was so worried when they told me you fell and they had to take you to the hospital. Got scared it was my fault, that I told you the wrong thing during a skating lesson, or I pushed you to skate on your own before you were ready,” he starts rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand.

“When I realized you would need major help while your arm was in that sling, not even being able to brush your hair by yourself, I knew this is where I could tell you. Maybe bring it up when I was braiding your hair, or slip a note in your bagel bag one morning. Hell, I even thought about spelling it out with sushi pieces that first night, but figured that might be a bit tacky,” you laughed at his words, remembering wondering what was taking him so long to bring your food to you. “But then, every time I thought about it, I chickened out. The closest I ever got was the moment in your kitchen, every muscle in my body screaming at me to just lean in and kiss you,” your laugh is cut short at his confession. “When you pulled back before I could, I assumed you didn’t feel the same way, so I left. I was embarrassed, not wanting to sit in the rejection any longer. But this week, being away for so long after spending nearly every day with you for the past three weeks, I knew I had to tell you.”

You’re glad he was as affected by not being around you this week as you were, not feeling as pathetic anymore.

“Was going to tell you when I walked through the door actually, but then I saw Nicole here and didn’t want to do it in front of her. That worked out great, didn’t it?” he laughs at the situation, Nicole clearly having different plans.

You scoff out a “Yeah, clearly, considering she railroaded me without me even knowing.”

“Well, I’m very glad she did, because now I can stop talking about you like a lovesick puppy to them,” Nico tells you, confirming your earlier feeling that Nico brings you up during ‘girlfriend talk’.

“My mom is so totally going to freak out when I tell her we’re dating,” you tell him, stopping yourself. “We are dating, right?”

Nico laughs as he brings his hands up to cup your face, pulling you in for a kiss, his lips as soft as you imagined they were. He keeps the kiss light and sweet before pulling back.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” your cheeks flush, earning another laugh from the man in front of you.

“C’mon, I’m tired and would love to sleep in an actual bed tonight. We can talk details tomorrow, girlfriend,” he emphasizes the word. “Right now, I need cuddles and sleep,” he stands, holding his hand out for you to grab as you stand, leading you down the hallway towards your bedroom.

Thinking back to what lead you to this moment, you giggle quietly to yourself, finding it a little comical that it took you literally falling on the ice and injuring yourself to realize you’d already fallen there once before.

[french-goodbye]

To Be Alone With You

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: Steve’s parents are never home, until they are. You learn to deal with it.

Warnings: Kissing; fingering; oral (m receiving). MINORS DNI, 18+.

Notes: This all started because I kept thinking about giving Steve head. That’s it, that was my motivation. Part of the same universe as In The Low Lamplight, but can be read as a stand alone. Also title from the Hozier song To Be Alone. MINORS DNI, 18+.

Steve’s parents are not really nice people. It’s a fact of life, kinda like how the sky is blue or the trees are green, it’s something Steve himself has come to slowly accept over time and that he’s learned he’ll never be able to change.

One of the few good things about Steve’s parents, however, is how often they travel. Especially considering Steve’s dad is a husband who can’t be trusted not to cheat on his wife, Mrs. Harrington just accompanies him everywhere. Which basically leaves Steve with a huge house all to himself and no one to reinforce the “no sleeping over rule”.

The “no sleeping over” rule was established early on in your relationship with Steve, his dad dictating that you can’t sleep over at their house, ever. Apparently he’s afraid you’ll get pregnant as if you 1) aren’t on the pill; 2) can’t fuck his son literally anywhere else, any other time of the day. Alas, you both obey the rule - at least when Steve’s parents are around.

Despite the Harrington household rule, you have gotten pretty used to breaking it and regularly stay over at their house. Some of it has to do with how obsessed you are with your boyfriend, but also with how much Steve hated it, coming home to an empty house and cooking a meal for one, only to wake up to a silent house and do it all over again, until he met you. So now, instead of coming home to a ghost house, he comes home to find you sitting pretty on his couch as you wait for him or you in the kitchen badly singing along to the songs in the radio or you haunting his bedroom even when he isn’t there.

Sometimes though, out of sheer (bad) luck, his parents will come home to stay for a while, no trips in sight. They usually only stay in Hawkins for a week before they travel again, but this time it goes on for what seems like a long time. Forget about his parents’ nagging, Steve can handle that, has handled that his whole life, what Steve can’t handle is not being around you for that long.

Of course he’s seen you since his parents got home, you went on a movie date ast Saturday, you visited him at Family Video on Monday and the two of you even snuck in some alone time on Tuesday night near Lover’s Lake in his car. So it’s not that he misses you per se, it’s that he’s so used to being in your orbit that he just misses being around you. He misses the shared showers and the cooking together and the falling asleep together. He misses the domesticity of it, of knowing that even when he’s not home, you’re still in his space.

All that being said, he manages to get by just getting glimpses of you in the meantime. Sometimes he’ll give you a ride to and from work, or you’ll sneak to Family video so you can have lunch together and he cherishes these moment like a man starved, like he haven’t been waking up and falling asleep next to you every day and night,

He’s getting through it until he realizes it’s been a whole month since his parents got home and they have absolutely no plans of leaving. That’s when he gives up on trying to at least pretend to follow his dad’s stupid rules and sneaks you in through the back door after his parents go to sleep. He’ll sneak you outside again the next morning and pretend you’ve just arrived or something, it’s not like his parents are that attentive or concerned about what he does.

You’re both giggling like teenagers by the time you slip into his bedroom, unnoticed. He’s barely locked the door behind himself and you’re all over him, pushing him into bed and climbing on top of him to kiss him silly.

“God, I’ve missed you” he says when you finally pull away, his lips red and spit wet. You start pressing kisses to his neck, like a girl starved, your hand tugging his hair to tilt his head to the right to grant you more access.

“Missed you too” you mumble against the skin of his neck, pressing open mouthed kisses there and sucking a pretty little mark at the spot where his neck meets his shoulders, next to one of his many freckles.

Your hands start to wander then, letting go of his hair to sneak down his chest and lower and lower. You’re about to slip your hand into his sweatpants when he stops you, his hand tangling with yours midway there.

“Come on, Stevie. Do you not want this?” You pull away until you’re sitting up, still straddling his hips and watching his mussed hair and red lips, a familiar heat climbing up your stomach at the sight.

“It’s not that I don’t want it” he explains, making his hair more of a mess when he runs his fingers through it.

“Then what is it?”

“My parents are totally gonna hear us”

“Their room is on the other side of the house, there’s no way they can hear us”

“I don’t think you realize how loud you can be” you huff on top of him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Are you serious? Why did you sneak me in then?”

“I told you… I missed my girl” he says softly, his sweetness chipping away at your annoyance over not getting laid. Just a little bit.

“You’re too sweet on me” you laugh happily, cradling his face in your hands. You lean down again and he pulls you closer by the waist to kiss you, kiss you, kiss you until you’re lost on the feeling of it again, his tongue in your mouth and his fingers in your hair and his half hard cock rubbing against you through your jeans. You’re moving before you can stop yourself, slowly grinding your hips against his when he stops you again, digging his fingers on your waist through the fabric of your top.

“Babe…”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry” you drop your head dramatically against his chest, shaking slightly on top of him when he laughs underneath you and hides his face on your neck. You can feel the warmth on his cheeks as he hugs you tightly to his chest and you gently card your fingers through his hair.

“Fine” you sigh, gently pushing him away and getting up and away from him.

“Where are you going?” He asks with a frown as you start digging through his drawers until you find one of his t-shirts you can put on.

“I’m changing” you answer as you pull off your own top and jeans. His eyes travel the length of your torso to your legs, not being particularly subtle in his staring.

“Why are you so far away?” He whines in complaint, rubbing his hands across his face.

“Because you said you don’t wanna have sex with me?” You say like a question, throwing him a confused look over the collar of the shirt you’re pulling through your head.

“I didn’t say that”

You throw your balled up clothes onto the floor next to his dresser, instantly making a mess of his otherwise organized room. He can’t even be bothered to complain about it, missing even the mess you leave in room, as you crawl towards him and balance on top of his thighs again.

“You kinda did,” you interrupt him before he can argue. “But that’s okay. I’m a big girl, I’ll get over it”

“We could make out a little bit” he suggests, his hand creeping up your now bare thigh.

And that you do, until both your lips are swollen and his neck is bruised and his hard cock is pressing against the thin material of your now wet underwear.

“We should stop” you breathe out when he’s sucking your earlobe between his teeth, hands on ass and definitely coping a feel in the meantime.

“Why?” He asks, still not stopping.

“Because I really wanna fuck you and we can’t” you complain, not exactly pulling away, but just tugging on his hair to keep his mouth on your neck.

“Wanna fuck you too. Missed feeling this pussy around my cock” he groans against your neck, and you can feel yourself clench around nothing, wishing it was his cock instead.

“Okay, we’re done” you push on his chest until you’re sitting up again.

“We don’t have to stop” he complains, still gripping on your thighs to keep you on top of him.

You press a kiss to his cheek and he tries to chase after you to kiss your lips again. You push him away giggly and climb off of him, laying next to him and looking at his pretty face as he lays on his back, face turned to watch you.

“We do have to stop because you’re a tease and I have no self control”

“Fine, we’ll stop. But when my parents are gone again…”

“You’ll have me all to yourself, handsome” you assure him confidently. He presses a quick peck to your lips before you can complain again, pulling away smugly.

“It’s a deal”

“Now come on, I haven’t been sleeping well without you” you tell him, turning your back to him and tugging on his hand until his chest is pressed to your back. He tries to keep his hips away from yours, as if you weren’t literally straddling his lap seconds ago.

“You haven’t?” When you shake your head in reply, more concerned with wrapping his arm around waist, he continues. “Shit, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish you could stay here without having to sneak in like a teenager but-“

“Hey, I know. I don’t you to get in trouble because of me” you link his hand with yours and brings his knuckles to your lips.

“I really missed you” he says in a sweet and sticky voice, his face sinking in your hair.

“I missed you too”

“Goodnight, sweetheart”

“Goodnight, Stevie”

Despite the recent late nights reaching through empty cold sheets for your boyfriend who isn’t there, you can’t fall asleep. Steve’s hips are pressed against yours, his hard cock wedged between your bodies and you can feel he’s still awake too, his breathing still too quick behind you.

You take a deep breath and squirm a little as you try to get comfortable, his arms almost too tight around you. When you’re finally settled, you close your eyes and just will yourself to fall asleep, despite the uncomfortable wetness pooling in your underwear and your boyfriend’s hard cock on the curve of your ass.

Barely five minutes have passed when you feel Steve sigh loudly against the back of your neck.

“Fuck”

You huff out a laugh, “what’s wrong?”

“I’m hard” he complains, adjusting behind you and accidentally making his cock drag through your ass and both of you sigh at the feeling.

“It’s your fault”

“How’s it my fault?”

“You were the one saying we should make out”

He huffs this time, pulling you closer to him.

“Not my fault you’re irresistible” he mumbles, hiding his face between your shoulder blades.

You can’t help but laugh again, despite the sigh of pleasure that escapes you and turn your head slightly to see his big brown eyes watching you over your shoulder.

“You’re horny, pretty boy?”

He leans over you, almost squishing you to the mattress to press his face to your neck, “don’t say it like that”.

You giggle and place your hand on top of his, moving your ass against his cock deliberately, all bad intentions. You feel his breath hitch in his throat and his fingertips dig on your hips to guide your movements.

“What did you say before? How I’m too loud?”

“You are” he mumbles against your neck, biting you there almost too hard and rutting against your ass.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you when you’re telling you love the sounds I make”

“I do love the sounds you make, just not when- fuck” he groans quietly against your ear when you hold tightly to his hair.

You keep moving your hips backwards, both of you trying your hardest to keep quiet. One of his arms wrap around your body, and the other start slipping underneath his borrowed t-shirt to move teasingly through your tummy, skimming the edge of your underwear.

“Steve…” you sigh when his hand hand starts creeping lower and lower to mess with the elastic band of your underwear.

“You gotta keep quiet, pretty girl. Can you do that for me?” He whispers near you ear, his lips barely leaving your skin as he speaks.

“Yes, just please touch me” you beg, clinging to the arm holding you and digging your nails there.

His hand finally slips through your mound and finds you, soaking wet and so, so warm, his cock twitching between your ass cheeks at finding you so ready for him. He slides his fingers through the wetness in your entrance spreading it all the way to your clit and you have to hide your face in the pillow under your head to keep from moaning too loud.

“Right there?” He asks unnecessarily, because he has fucked you enough times to know by heart the way you like it, just to tease you and feel you nod against him.

“Right there, baby. Keep going” you plead quietly, moving your hips to feel his cock behind you and his whole body surrounding yours.

He swirls his fingers around and you keen underneath him, sinking your nails on the arm of the hand touching you to get him to move faster. He keeps going, rubbing small circles in your clit in a dance you’re both so familiar it’s almost painful to imagine being away from it for so long. Suddenly he stops and you whine, he shushes you and dips his fingers lower until you they catch on your entrance. You moan against the pillow when he finally slips his finger inside and his hand leaves your waist to roughly grab the inside of your thigh and spread you open.

“Fuck, you feel so good” you mumble against the pillowcase, following the movement of his finger with your hips. “Missed your fingers”

He finally slips a second finger and you jut your spine, his cock digging between your ass cheeks.

“Gonna fuck you so good when we’re alone,” he murmurs somewhere around your ear, so quietly it’s almost like he’s talking to himself. “Gonna fill this pussy up the way she deserves, just the way you like it. You want that, baby?”

You nod dumbly, clenching around his fingers at his words. “Can I have another finger? I’ll be quiet, I promise”

He slips a third finger in and even if it’s not the same as his cock, you feel it stretching you open. It’s all you can think of as he fingers you, you imagine how his cock would be stretching you out in this position, how fucking full you’d feel, how he’d fill you up with his cum.

His thumb shifts to flick against your clit and that’s all you need to get there, hurling to your orgasm in a way only Steve’s ever been able to give to you. You release a particularly loud moan before you can stop yourself and Steve’s free hand’s there, quick to clamp over your mouth, his other hand still fucking you and rubbing your clit through your orgasm.

You moan loudly against his hand one more time, the sound distant and muffled before you gently touch his arm to signal him to stop. His hand slips from your underwear and from over your mouth and he fixes your panties for you as you calmly try to catch your breath, his cock still digging on your lower back.

“Oh my god” you pant, feeling a gust of air on your neck when he laughs. “You’re amazing, Steve Harrington. I can’t believe I still haven’t gotten used to that”

You turn in his arms to see his face, his wet hand digging on the knobs of your spine. He’s still laughing, almost smugly so.

“You wouldn’t say I’m amazing if you ever saw yourself cum”

You’re giggly as you slip off your underwear, now sticky and wet against you and climb on top of him. You pick up his hand and bring his still wet fingers to your mouth to suck on them, tasting yourself on his skin. His eyes darken almost instantly, watching you avidly as you suck it and pull away with a wet lewd sound.

He’s pulling you in before you can tease him or say anything, his hand cradling your face in his hands, his spit wet fingers on your cheek as he kisses you deeply, tasting you on his tongue. You pull away when you notice he’s getting too into it, his hips jerking underneath you, rippling off his t-shirt.

“Babe, we can’t fuck. They’ll-“

“Yeah, yeah…” you wave him off, now proceeding to get rid of his sweatpants and underwear all in one go, his cock bouncing up and hitting his belly button. You eye it sinfully, almost drooling in your desire to get your mouth on him. “We’re not fucking. I’m gonna go down on you and you’re gonna be quiet for me, is that okay with you?”

“Babe-“

“You never let me go down on you” you complain with a whine, resting your hands on your own thighs.

“Because I always blow my load like a teenager when you blow me and it’s fucking embarrassing” he complains, gripping your hips and pulling you until you’re laying on top of him.

“Well, I think it’s hot” you pout, resting your hand on his cheek and giving him a lingering kiss. “Let me go down you,” you kiss him one more time, “please, handsome?”

“Fine” he sighs dramatically, like you’re ask him a huge favor.

“You know, a lot of guys would die for a girl who likes to blow them” You complain matter-of-factly, sliding down his body to straddle his thighs as his cock prods your stomach.

“Well, I like it a little too much” he answer shakily, as you press open mouthed kisses to his chest, his ribs, the spot above his bellybutton. His hands rest in your head, to pet your head lovingly and you manage to find it in you to forgive him.

“You look so hot like this” you comment against the skin of his hip, sucking a mark there and thumbing it gently. “Gonna make you feel so fucking good”

“Jesus, just… go slow okay? It’s been a while” he stammers, still petting your hair softly. You glance at him skeptically, raising your eyebrows.

“You’re telling me you didn’t jerk off once this whole time? We were literally on the phone the other day-”

“I didn’t say that…”

You snort and spit on your palm, getting it wet and watching the pre cum pooling at the slit of his cock. “You’re so full of shit”

“Hey-“ he cuts himself off with a groan when you lick the pearly liquid on his tip, one of your hands wrapping around the base to jerk him off slowly.

His fingers tighten their grip on your hair as you lick around around his tip and continue to move your hands around him, reaching his base and going all the way up again. Your free hand rubs against his upper thigh, occasionally scratching him lovingly.

You spit on it and lick along his length, following a vein back to his tip, trying to him as wet as you can, just the way he likes it.

“Fuck” he pants when you finally take him into your mouth, widening your lips so you can reach the middle of his cock as you work the rest of him with your hand. You gulp around him, breathing through your nose as you progressively take more of him, working your way up his cock so you can reach his base with your mouth.

You’re starting to get into the rhythm of it, the way his cock feels in your mouth and the slightly salty taste when he gently pulls a strand of your hair to catch your attention.

“H-hey, slow down or I’m gonna cum” he warns.

You pull away from his cock heaving, still stroking him in your hands slowly. “Isn’t that the point?”

“Wanna enjoy this” his hand finds your cheek, rubbing the skin with his thumb and you press a kiss to his palm. The gesture’s almost too soft for the moment, but it’s always been like this with him.

“Whatever you say, handsome” you agree, pressing a single kiss to his tip. Your hand still stroking him slowly as you lean down to press kisses to his thigh and suck another mark there.

You keep jerking him off as your free hand slides down to fondle his balls and you spit on them too, for good mesure. You finally suck one of this balls into your mouth, your hand still massaging the other one.

He groans loudly above you and you pull away with a muffled moan of your own, reluctantly pulling away.

“Remember what we talked about, handsome?” you remind him, stroking him torturously slow now. He nods absent-mindedly, eyes still focused on the movement of your hand. “You have to be quiet or I’ll stop”

“Baby, please don’t stop, please” he begs, his hand gripping your head to keep you close to him.

“Don’t be loud and I won’t” you promise.

“I promise, I promise”

You go back to sucking on his balls and his hand meets yours where it rests on his hip, squeezing your fingers tightly between his. He looks like a mess above you, hair sticking to all side from running his hands through it, cheeks red and his eyes so sharply focused on you it’d embarrass you if you hadn’t done this before.

You lick around his tip one more time, sinking your mouth to the middle of his cock and working the rest of him with your hand until you finally manage to reach the base of his cock, the trimmed hair surrounding the base tickling your face.

He releases a muffled groan above you and glance up to see he’s biting his fist. His eyes meet yours and his hand finally forces you to gag around his length, a moan of your own leaving your throat.

It doesn’t take long for him to come after that, between gasps and muffled moans and random babbling, he warns you he’s gonna come and you keep your mouth around him, gagging around him until you feel his cum shoot into your throat, salty and not particularly good but so Steve, you swallow it eagerly.

You keep your mouth around him until he’s too sensitive and pulling you away by the arm almost roughly. You let him and he guides you to lay on top of him, kissing you forcefully.

He tastes himself in your mouth and you both groan at the feeling. He keeps kissing, kissing, kissing you until you’re breathless and pliant on top of him and he’s all loose limbs underneath you.

“I’m never going that long without seeing you ever again” he pants, his fingers massaging your scalp where your head rests on his chest.

You huff a breathless laugh as you draw nonsense shapes on his skin, “no complaints from me.”

“Good, you’re totally staying over tomorrow night” he decides, still relaxed underneath you.

“We can try your shower,” you point at the closed door of the bathroom connected to his room. “They’ll definitely not gonna be able to hear over the running water”

He freezes beneath you for a second, and then he starts laughing. “Can’t believe we didn’t think of that until now”

“Add that to list” you mumble tiredly against his chest, finally slipping into the best sleep you’ve had in weeks.

[somethinginthewayiam]

The girl behind the bar (Part 8 - Final Part)

pairing: Jake Hangman Seresin x plus-size reader

warnings: slight arguing

words: 3.2k

Summary: Jake has one last try to fix it with you and he was gonna make sure to give it his all. Go big or go home, isn’t that what they say?

a/n: Here it is, the final part of my series. How did we get here? It's crazy! Thank you all SO MUCH for all the likes, reblogs and comments, they mean the world to me!! I hope you like this chapter!

Link to my masterlist

It’s been over a week and you haven’t seen or heard anything from your favorite group. They all had become friends to you and with Hangman, you would also get there eventually.

You got increasingly nervous and as well as Penny tried to hide it, she did too. Maverick being part of the mission seemingly wasn’t planned as to what she had told you and now that he was, made the whole thing even scarier. If they needed someone as experienced as him…you didn’t want to think about what they had to do and where they had to go.

You only knew one thing for sure, you had definitely seen too many action and disaster movies to uphold any state of calm.

Showing up for work and getting through a shift was your only constant right now and you held on to it for dear life. Fuck, you really hadn’t realized how much every single one of those idiots had found their way into your heart.

It was shortly after you had begun your shift on a Thursday when you heard familiar voices coming from the entrance. When you looked up, you saw Rooster first and then the others in their khaki uniforms following him into the bar. Your whole face lit up and you had a bubbly feeling in your stomach.

You got out from behind the bar and ran over to them. “You’re back!”, you exclaimed excitedly and hugged Phoenix first. Then you went on to hug everybody and greeted them with a kiss to the cheek, so happy to see them back in this bar, alive and well.

You looked behind them, searching for Jake but nobody was coming in after them. Your heart sank and you felt a twist in your gut. The smile dropped from your face.

“He’s fine. He’s coming over later”, Rooster eased your mind and put his hand on your shoulder for comfort. You wished you weren’t that relieved to hear that because that meant you cared more for Jake Seresin than it was good for you.

“And you’re all fine? Nothing broken, nothing missing?”, you asked them and checked their faces for bruises and their bodies for any missing parts. “We’re all good”, Rooster laughed off your concerns. “But we’re all quite thirsty”, Fanboy stepped forward. “Of course, come with me”, you smiled and motioned them to follow you. Rooster put an arm around your shoulders and you placed your arm around his middle as you walked to the bar circle together.

“First round tonight is on me for our heroes”, you said as they all lined up at the counter and you grabbed bottle after bottle of beer, placing them in front of each one.

It got quite busy quite quickly at the Hard Deck and at the moment, you handled the circle alone. What would have led to a complete meltdown on your part just a few weeks ago, you now handled with some sort of grace and calm. At least you’d liked to think so.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you watched a man in a suit taking a seat at the counter, looking already annoyed. He looked so out of place here that it was almost funny.

"Hey, get me a scotch", he demanded more so than he asked. No please, no smile, whatsoever.

"I'll be right with you", you told him and didn't let his tone get to you. You were in the middle of serving a group of ten and had your hands full.

"How long is this going to take?", he called out in your direction after waiting for just 2 seconds. "Just a second", you said as politely as you could and even shot him a kind smile which was met by furrowed brows and a more than annoyed expression on his face.

"Hey girl, can I get another round for the table?", Rooster appeared at the counter next to you, using the nickname he had heard Phoenix and you use for each other. "Sure, just a moment", you told him, knowing he would have no problem waiting.

"Hey, lady. How much longer for my drink? What kind of service do you offer in this joint?", he asked full on angry.

You looked over at the suit, ready to say something to him, but then you saw his phone laying on the counter and had a better idea.

You looked over at Rooster who had followed your eyes over to that douchebag and then looked at you. You gave him a wink and then walked over to the sign Penny had hung up.

“May I divert your attention here for a moment?”, you asked him and gestured elegantly at the sign like you were the prize lady at a game show.

You gave him a few seconds while his eyes flew over the words carved into the wooden plague before you rang the bell.

A cheer erupted across the bar. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, he asked in an intimidated yet aggressive tone. “Means you’re paying a round for the whole place”, Rooster appeared next to the suit. Without a word you handed him a bottle of beer.

“Much appreciated”, he toasted the guy with a smirk. “I’m not paying for shit!”, the guy exclaimed with furrowed brows. You looked over at Rooster with a satisfied grin. You had expected that answer.

“Overboard?”, he asked. “Overboard”, you confirmed with a little nod. “Ah, I always wanted to say that: Hold my beer!”, he exclaimed excitedly and handed you the bottle. Rooster whistled and motioned to the pool table and was quickly joined by Payback and Coyote.

You rang the bell once more and he called out “OVERBOARD!”. The whole room joined in on the chant. The guy’s face changed from rage to honest concern as the three tall men surrounded him. They grabbed his arms and legs and carried him out the back door to the deck and threw him into the sand.

“Come back when you found your manners”, you called after him and laughed as you watched him getting flung off the deck.

When you turned around, you found yourself face to face with Hangman and froze, but only for a second. “Same goes for you”, you told him as the smile dropped from your face, sure that he had just witnessed the moment before.

You looked him up and down, checking for any bruises or injuries but you gladly didn’t find any, just like Rooster had told you earlier.

You thought that him being gone for over a week would ease your mind about the whole situation, assuring yourself that you had found your inner peace with Jake and his stupidity. But no. Right when you saw his face, it all came back to you.

You wanted to walk to the other side of the bar circle but Jake’s hand reached over the counter, grabbing your arm. “Wait, Y/N, can we talk?”, he asked with a hopeful expression on his face. You looked at his hand on your arm and then up to his face. “You’ll be next if you don’t let go”, you said with a nod towards where the suit had landed in the sand. He let go of your arm and held his hands up, showing that he would play along.

"We already talked", you told him and walked half the circle to the other end of the bar. Jake followed you. "We're not done", he told you in return. "Oh, we're so done", you said and Jake heard the double meaning in your words.

“Listen, I’m glad you’re okay, I really am, but turns out, I’m still mad at you”, you told him straight out.

He took a deep breath before he walked around the edge of the counter and behind the bar.

"Y/N, I need you to listen to me", he said and his voice had an urgent undertone.

"Hangman, what have I told you about being behind that bar?", you heard Penny behind you, who had appeared out of nowhere.

"I just need two minutes", Jake told her and the pleading look in his eyes made her tolerate his presence behind the counter. For now. She turned away and took care of the customers waiting for their drinks.

"You got two minutes", you told him as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. He just looked at you, seemingly lost for words all of a sudden.

"119, 118...", you started counting backwards. "Okay, okay", he stopped you by holding his hands up in defense. “I was acting like an idiot”, he said and paused. “I’m not disagreeing”, you told him as he didn’t continue talking right away.

“But so were you”, he said and you looked at him with big eyes at the unexpected words. “Excuse me?”, you asked in disbelief, putting your hands on your hips.

“You said you were over it which was clearly a lie. And then you go on to say that we would just go back to being a bartender and a customer, which is bullshit. We are friends. And as a friend I messed up, I know that. And I will never stop apologizing for it, but…”, he suddenly stopped himself in his tirade.

You just looked at him with big eyes, your heart beating faster with his every word.

“When I was away, I thought about you constantly. And when the mission went well, you were the first person I wanted to call. And I finally realized that I…I, uhm…”, he paused again, seemingly mustering up the courage which was an odd state to see Hangman in.

You just looked at him, holding your breath, not daring to speak.

“Y/N, I want to be more than friends with you”, he finally said and it felt like time stood still for a moment. Your eyes focused in on his and the pleading look that was in them and the hopeful smile on his lips took your breath away.

You wanted to believe him. You wanted it so bad. But with everything that had happened between the two of you and also everything that had happened to you in your past, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“Jake”, you said and the almost apologizing tone in your voice made the smile drop from his face.

“You don’t believe me”, he said, a resigned tone in his voice. “I mean, how could I? You kiss me and the next day you act like you don’t even know me? How’s a girl supposed to feel with something like that?”, you told him and hoped that this was explanation enough.

“And my words don’t matter?”, he asked in return. You just looked at him, not knowing what to say.

“Your time is up, Hangman”, Penny called out from the other end and she didn’t know how right she was.

“I’m sorry”, now it was your turn to apologize. It surprised you how much turning him down actually hurt you. It should make you feel better, make you feel somewhat empowered but it didn’t.

You turned around and walked over to a new customer sitting at the counter. “Hi, what can I get…”, you started.

“Hey! Can I have everybody’s attention for a moment?”, you heard Jake behind you, yelling to tune out the chatter and laughter in the bar.

When you turned around, you found him standing on the bar counter. Your eyes got big and a shocked expression washed over your face.

“Hi, I’m Jake. Most of you know me as Hangman”, he began and the people around quieted down bit by bit. Someone even unplugged the jukebox.

“What the hell are you doing?”, you quickly came over and hissed at him, but he ignored you.

“Everybody that knows me knows that I can be a real asshole sometimes”, he continued. “Yeah, no shit”, Rooster called out from the back and some people chuckled.

“Thanks, Rooster”, he nodded in his direction. “But I really messed up this time because I was stupid enough to hurt this beautiful woman right here”, he said and pointed to you by his feet.

Your cheeks turned bright red as you found the whole bar looking at you.

“Jake, get down there. You're embarrassing yourself. But most importantly, me”, you hissed at him, grabbing his ankle. You would have loved nothing more than to just yank him off this bar and end this charade.

“She doesn’t believe me that I actually like her and I can’t blame her for it. But I need her to understand that I really do like her, very much”, he said and looked at you with a hand on his heart when he said it.

Normally, you would have rolled your eyes at a cheesy gesture like that but for the first time ever in your life, a cheesy gesture happened to you. It felt like you had an outer-body experience, watching yourself watching Hangman. This wasn’t actually happening to you, was it?

“And that’s why I’m using this, arguably, very drastic move to officially ask you to please go out on a date with me?”, he asked.

You knew that every single pair of eyes in this room were looking at you right now and you never hated Jake more than this moment. You loathed being the center of attention and for him to put you on blast like that…

But at the same time, you thought about the fact that never in your life had someone done something like that for you.

“Come on, Y/N, say yes”, you heard someone from the back of the room. Probably Coyote. “Say yes”, you heard someone else from the other side. You glared up at Jake, chewing the inside of your cheek. He looked back at you with a hopeful expression.

“Will you finally come down if I say yes?”, you asked loudly so that the people could hear it. “Then, and only then”, he said and a smile played around his lips.

“Okay, I’ll go on a date with you”, you finally agreed. “She said yes!”, he called out with a big smile and the whole place erupted into cheers.

“Good god”, you mumbled under your breath and felt your cheeks burning.

Jake hopped off the counter and stood next to you. Someone plugged the jukebox back in and the room was filled with music again. The chatter started back up and in a matter of seconds the bar was back to its old self.

“You know you’re crazy”, you said. “Crazy about you”, he said and put his hands on your hips, pulling you in a little bit. For some reason, you let him. A flutter moved through your stomach. Your arms automatically flung around his neck.

It felt like your stomach was full of butterflies. What was happening right now? Five minutes ago, you were mad at him and now you’re swooning?

“But you realize how embarrassing that was? For both of us”, you told him off.

“You’ve said you liked gestures”, he countered. You were surprised that he remembered what you had told him when you were trapped here in this bar on that stormy night.

“Small gestures like remembering the flowers I like or how I drink my coffee”, you reminded and lectured him at the same time.

He rolled his eyes at you playfully, looking up at the ceiling for a moment and then back at you.

“How do you like your coffee?”, he asked with a smile. “Nonexistent. I don't drink coffee”, you answered him and patted his chest with your hand before you stepped out of his embrace, attempting to get back to work.

“But you just said...”, he said in disbelief. "It was an example, Jake. Good god! Normally you're a bit quicker than that”, you teased him and couldn’t hold back the chuckle.

He reached out with his hand, hooked two fingers in the hem of your apron that was tied around your waist and pulled you close to him.

“You’re killing me”, he said and a smirk played around his lips. “A girl can try”, you shrugged your shoulders and shot him a wink and a grin before he bent down and kissed you.

The smile was wiped off you face rather quickly. He managed to surprise you one more time tonight.

You heard some cheers in the faint background but you couldn’t care less at the moment.

You flung your arms around his neck again, sinking into his embrace. You felt his hands roaming your back and you got on your tiptoes to be even closer to him.

“Alright, alright, enough with the show”, you heard behind you and reluctantly let go of Jake. He smiled at your lips before he let go as well to find Penny standing next to you.

“As lovely as this is, you’re still behind my bar”, she said to Jake. “And you are actually working right now”, she added towards you. The smile on her face took the harshness out of her words.

“Sorry, Penny”, you said and smiled apologetically. She looked at the two of you once more before she got back to the other end of the circle.

“Are you free this Saturday?”, he asked as he walked out behind the counter and leaned against it on the other side, giving you a big smile. You both felt giddy from your kiss.

“I doubt I get a Saturday off. How about a Tuesday-date? Those seem to work for us”, you asked and reminded him of the stormy night after you had met in the diner where you had your date with Joseph. You pulled a beer out of the cooler, opened it and moved it over to Jake.

“Sounds like a plan”, he agreed and grabbed his drink with a wink. Before he was able to walk over to his friends at the pool table, you reached out and grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him close to your face.

“Don’t make me regret this, Hangman”, you told him with a low voice and pressed a quick peck to his lips before you shoved him back with a smirk. “Never”, he shook his head with a smile and winked at you again before he walked over to the pool table.

“You can take your 10 if you want”, Penny appeared next to you again. She was really quick on her feet tonight. Or you were just super distracted.

When you looked over to her you saw her gesturing towards Hangman who was talking to Rooster. Right when you looked over, so did he and his face lit up immediately, giving you another wink.

You thought about it for a second then a smile appeared on your face.

“He got his date. He can wait”, you told her and in response, she bumped her hips into yours with a chuckle and attended to some new customers.

You resumed to handing out drinks as well and got about 3 customers done until you suddenly looked up in nervous realization.

You had agreed to go on a date with Jake Hangman Seresin. How the hell did that happen?

a/n: You really thought I would let you guys hanging here? Well, you should know me better by now.

YOU WILL GET THE DATE!

Part 1 - the restaurant

[hyunniesgirl]

Another Love | part 3

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 5,082

Warnings: do I even have to warn you guys about angst at this point?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

A/N: this is not proofread because I'm sleepy, tomorrow I'll probably come back and fix the things that should be fixed.

I'm planning two or three more parts for this fic.

Seungmin got home after work and awkwardly told you he found a new roommate, it's a friend from his highschool time.

“That's great”, you tell him, even though you're worried, because that means you have to go back home and you just don't know if you're ready yet.

“I asked him for two weeks, so I could settle everything, so take your time”, he says and you nod.

That is a good amount of time, Jeongho is coming to see you in two days and you're really looking forward to seeing him. You find yourself already missing the man even though it's barely two weeks since you last saw him last.

Things with Jeongho are going slowly but great, he's sweet and makes sure you're comfortable with every advance he makes. You can't deny, being the object of affection of such a handsome and interesting person is flattering.

“Do you wanna go out before I move out? We can go watch a movie or eat something nice, it's on me”, you ask while watching him walk to his room.

“That would be nice, I'll check my schedule and we can set the date”, he tells you before closing the door to his bedroom.

You're so grateful to Seungmin, if it wasn't for him you would have been forced to stay living with Jisung after he rejected you, or you would have had to rent a crap apartment on short notice so you could have a place to stay without bothering anyone.

Speaking of the devil, it's the first time in a few days you're thinking about Jisung and you realize how relieved you are. It makes you believe things are finally looking up for you.

Living in Japan, Jeongho can only come to see you on weekends when he's not working. So you basically spend two weekends a month with him, it's not perfect but at the same time you two decided to take things slowly so you're taking your time to actually develop your feelings for him. What doesn't take very long.

You're not sure if it's because you were deprived of an actual romantic relationship for quite some time or if it happens to be like that because Jeongho is such a warm person to be around, but you just know you like him.

You are at the airport, waiting for him to arrive. When people start coming out of the gate, you tiptoe trying to find him in the crowd.

He's doing the same as you, but being taller it's not so difficult for him to find you. You jump and wave with your arms even though you know he already saw you, but you're just too excited to see him.

“And here I thought it would be difficult finding you”, he stops in front of you while you throw your arms around his neck and squeeze him into your embrace.

“I missed you”, you tell him. He chuckles, bringing his hands up and cupping your face, lightly brushing his lips on yours before landing the most sweet kiss.

“I missed you too”, he tells you, connecting your foreheads. You smile brightly, feeling warm.

You really like Jeongho, and that makes you wonder how your life would have been if you had said yes to him in middle school.

“Let's go”, you say, intertwining you fingers with him, “you have to rest because I have lots of fun planned for us”

He nods, paying attention to every word you say while you tell him some of the things you want to do during the weekend.

You stay in his hotel since you can't take him to sleep on Seungmin's sofa. You two ask for room service and talk about everything—his life in Japan, his work, your major, your tutoring and how things are going now that you will have to go back to live with Jisung.

“How are you feeling about that?” He asks, while you eat.

“Honestly, I don't know”, you tell him. “But I'm pretty confident, things are different now, I even have a hot boyfriend”, you joke, making him choke on his food.

“I don't remember being asked out”, he says, raising one eyebrow.

“Well, I thought it was a giving”, you shrug, biting on your burger, “since you're down bad for me”

He laughs out loud, throwing his head back.

“I'm not saying you're wrong, but you could be a little more humble”, he tells you, grabbing a napkin and whipping the ketchup off of the corner of your lips.

“Don't you think I've been humble enough for like a decade?”

“You got a point”

You soon finish your dinner and turn on the TV so you can watch a movie. It's just comfortable being with Jeongho, he makes the storm that usually is your mind become a light rain.

The next day is packed, you wake him up at 9 a.m. knowing it's going to be difficult to take him out of bed, especially when he keeps holding you and trying to make you stay in his warm embrace.

“We have to go”, you tell him, trying to escape from his heavy arm around your waist.

“Just more five minutes”, he asks, snuggling his head in the crock of your neck.

You really do want to stay like this with him, but you can't be swayed, you two have a full schedule that must be fulfilled.

“Jeongho, we must go or we are going to lose my first surprise”, you pout.

“Surprise?” He asks, backing away to look at you.

“Yes, I prepared a lot of things for us to do this weekend”, you give him a smug smile, “I didn't tell you half of it yesterday”

“Hm, that does sound interesting”, the hold on your waist tightens, making your body press even more against his. Jeongho lands a kiss on your cheek, then on your neck, going slower, “but you'll have to give me more than that to convince me that anything you planned is better than this”, you gasp feeling his hot breath hitting on your skin.

“I-”, you're not sure if you want to go out anymore, after feeling his soft lips again. “Babe”, you whisper, almost giving up when he flinches, backing away again. He is blushing.

“Did you just call me ‘babe’?” He asks flustered and you nod, smiling sheepishly.

“I mean, if you don't like it-”

“Of course I like it”, he answers fast, sitting on the bed. “Let's go, if you keep this up I won't let you get out of this bed for the whole weekend”, he tells you, getting up.

That offer does sound tempting, you sigh, but you two really do have lots to do.

Jeongho is not your first boyfriend, you didn't spend years pining over Jisung just waiting. Trying to get over him one way or another, you had your fair share of relationships, they just quite never made you feel like it was enough.

Until now. Jeongho easily swept you off your feet, liking him is just natural.

“Say cheese”, he asks while taking a selfie of you two, you're resting in a cafe after walking for hours.

“You really do like taking pictures”, you say and he nods.

“I do, especially when I'm with the second prettiest woman in the world”, he tells you.

You chuckle.

“May I presume that the number one is your mother?”

“Of course, dear. Who else could compete with you?”, he jokes, making you roll your eyes.

Jeongho’s name is called and he excuses himself to go to the counter to get your orders. This cafe you're visiting just opened, it is pretty popular and always crowded. You were only able to secure a table for your date because Hanna has a friend who works at the cafe and they were able to reserve it for you.

You hear the noise from the bell on the door and lift your eyes out of your phone to look at it, meeting Jisung's eyes.

What is he doing here?

“I didn't want to say it, but I think the cake you make is prettier than this one”, you hear Jeongho's voice, making you turn away to look at him, praying that your best friend won't try to talk to you.

Jeongho is much more sensible than you think, he picks up on your sudden stiffness and the awkwardness on your face, looking around to find out what happened. He sees Jisung coming in your direction hand in hand with a girl.

His right hand moves fast to the hand you have on the table, and his left one lands on your back, giving you reassurance.

“Jisung, it's been a while”, Jeongho says, voice more stern than you're used to, making you look at his face again, to see him almost glaring at your friend.

“Jeongho”, Han smiles, glancing at the hand your boyfriend has over yours and noticing how close you're from each other, “I thought you lived in Japan”, he points out.

“I do, but I come often to visit my girlfriend”, Jeongho smiles pretentiously.

“Your what now?” Han asks him, but he's looking at you, “last time I checked you haven't seen each other for almost ten years”

You turn your hand around, interlacing your fingers with Jeongho.

“Well, it has been a while since you last checked”, you answer, confidently.

Jisung's stand falters and the frown in his face is just priceless but you feel bad that he had to find out this way.

“Why are you being so awkward”, Lia says, glaring at him, “you should be happy for them”

She smiles at you.

“I'm happy for you, y/n, please take good care of her”, she tells Jeongho and he smiles kindly at her. “We will be on our way, then”

You have known Lia for a few months now. She was always nice to you, going to the apartment all the time and you thought her and Jisung to be just friends until you saw him smiling when he picked up her call, the same smile you have coveted for so long, wishing you were the one in the receiving end of that smile.

But you never were.

There's no reason for you to dislike her just because she is with him, now you have your own love and you don't need to wish for the affection of someone that doesn't have it in them to give it to you.

“Well, that was awkward”, Jeongho's voice takes you out of your daze. “Are you alright?”, he asks, bending down to be closer to you.

You smile at him, giving him a peck on the lips.

“I'm good, I have you”, you tell him. The man smiles brightly, tilting his head while looking at you lovingly.

“Now I'm thinking you're the one who's down bad for me”, he scoffs playfully, standing up and sitting in front of you.

“I can't confirm nor deny”, you say, winking at him. “What I can confirm is that the cake I bake is prettier than this one”, you bring back what he told you before.

“That's what I'm telling you!” He says excitedly, forgetting about Jisung, and honestly, you do too.

Why is she laughing so much? Is he even that funny? Or is she just trying to win his favor? Those are the thoughts Jisung has in his head while waiting for his order to get ready, he can't stop stealing glances at you, he misses your smiles and your laugh, there was a time he was the main reason for that beautiful sound to come out of your mouth.

“They look good together”, Lia's voice never sounded so annoying to him, what is she even talking about? You and Jeongho don't look good at all.

He gets up when his name is called, going to the counter to pick up his order and walking outside to meet Lia after. He can't stop thinking about you, if you hadn't gone away he would be the first person to know about you and Jeongho. It's just weird for him not being the first person you tell things to, that's what is bothering him he's sure of it.

The fact that he couldn't listen to anything Lia said throughout their whole date honestly worries him, Jisung has no idea what's happening to him and why he's acting this way towards the girl he was so into a few months ago.

He tries to bury himself in work, doing everything to stop thinking. He's afraid of what he's going to find out if he dig any deeper trying to understand his feelings.

You're in front of your apartment, you know the passcode and you know Jisung is not there at that moment but you just can't move. You have your huge bag hanging on your shoulder and another one on the floor, the only thing you have to do is go inside, so why is it so terrifying? The other time you went there to pick your books and some clothes, you didn't feel this way.

Was it because you knew you were not staying? Or was it because you and your best friend were on better terms at the time? Maybe you should just rent a crap apartment and go live alone. But how are you going to explain that to your parents? You can’t run away from Jisung your whole life, he is your best friend.

“Oh dear, were you traveling?” You hear the voice of the old lady who lives right next door.

You turn around, putting the sweetest smile you have on your lips.

“Hello, Mrs. Park, I was visiting a friend”, you half lie.

“Oh, that sounds like fun”, she giggles, “are you having trouble going inside?”

“Actually, Jisung changed the password and forgot to tell me”, you smile, lying through your teeth now, “I'm waiting for him to answer my texts”

She nods.

“Oh, your generation don't like to call, right? If I were you, I would call him until he picked up”, she jokes, “would you like to come inside to wait? You're going to get tired by just standing there”

You breathe, relieved, you know it's just a temporary measure but you'll take any opportunity not to enter your apartment yet.

“I would love to”, you answer her, grabbing the bag from the floor and following her inside.

Her apartment has pretty much the same layout as yours, but the decoration couldn't be any more different. She has lots of trinkets, frames and a clock hanging on the wall. There are a lot of pictures of her children and grandchildren.

“What about your husband?” You ask, sitting on the sofa while watching her going through the kitchen and putting some water to boil.

“He's visiting his brother in the countryside”, she answers. Your eyes wander around the room, landing on a frame with a beautiful couple. The picture looks old as it has a lot of aging marks.

“Oh, it's me and my husband”, Mrs. Park says, making you flinch to hear her so close to you. She has a proud smile on her lips. “Quite a handsome couple, weren't we?” She points out and you nod.

“Yes, a very charming couple”

She sighs, putting the tray with the teacups on the table in the center of the room.

“You know, he was my best friend”, she sits on the sofa, pointing to the other side for you to do the same, “I didn't always see him as a man, you know? I was in love with someone else at the time he confessed”

You stare at her, not sure what she's trying to say.

“But that guy broke my heart and he was there to pick it up and I fell in love”, she completes, with loving eyes.

“I'm not sure if I understand”, you say, feeling strangely uncomfortable.

“I'm telling you that the person you like may take a bit of time to understand his feelings”, she smiles kindly, “but I'm sure he will come to his senses”

You drop your eyes to your hands, fidgeting with your fingers. You're sure the old lady is only telling you that so you can feel better, but you don't feel like that at all. You don't want Jisung to like you now, you are exhausted from waiting for him.

“Your story is amazing, Mrs. Park”, you tell her, “but I already have someone who's absolutely sure of his feelings for me”, you stand, “I don't think I'll have to wait for another love”

She stares at you for a moment, analyzing you, trying to guess if you're being serious. Then, she smiles, standing too.

“I'm glad you came to that conclusion, honey”, she gets closer, patting you on the back. “Did Jisung send you the password?”, she asks, seeing you collect your bags.

“Yes, I have everything I need to go back home”, you say, thanking her for the hospitality.

You take a few deep breaths before pressing the password on the lock of your door. The house is the same as it was when you last went there.

You put your things in your room, unpacking your belongings and putting everything in place. You go to the living room, opening the glass door to the balcony so some air can circulate inside, you're sure Jisung spent his days out and didn't worry about opening the house a bit.

You go to the kitchen, there's nothing in the freezer, you already knew that you'd find it empty so it's time to go grocery shopping.

You're in the middle of the vegetables section when your phone buzzes. Looking at the device, you see Jeongho's name lightening the screen.

“Hey”, you answer, smiling.

“Hello, my love”, he says, you hear heavy breathing in the back of the call.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, worried.

“Yeah, I was hitting the gym and they called me from the office saying they needed me”, he sighs, rustling at the other side of the line.

“If you're in a hurry why are you calling me?” You ask, frowning.

“Of course, it's because I told you I would call you in the afternoon”, he tells you like it's the most obvious thing in the world and you giggle, feeling the happiest at that moment, warmth growing on your chest.

“You could have just texted me”, you tell him.

“Then I wouldn't be able to hear your sweet voice”, you're sure he has that flirty playful smile on his lips while saying that.

You sigh, leaning on a shelf from the store.

“I miss you”, you tell him.

On the other side of the line Jeongho stops on his tracks, smiling to himself while fidgeting.

“Me too, I can't wait to see you next weekend”, he says, “I was thinking maybe we could have dinner with all your friends so I can be officially introduced?”

“Yeah, that would be great”, you say, “I'll talk to them”

“Okay, I have to go now but I'll text you later”

It's great having someone who actually reciprocates your feelings, much better, someone you're so into as Jeongho.

You walk out of the elevator struggling to carry the groceries, finding a feminine figure hovering over your door. When she turns around, you recognize Lia.

“Hey”, you frown, did Jisung not tell her he was out?

“Y/N, hey!” She says, smiling at you. “Here, let me help you”, she says, grabbing two bags out of your hands.

“Thank you!” You say, “Jisung is not home right now, but come inside to wait for him, I don't think he's going to take long”

You open the door, giving space for her to walk in and then close the door.

“I'm sorry about showing up unannounced”, she smiles sheepishly, putting the bags on the table in the kitchen. “I texted Jisung but he didn't see my texts, I just wanted to give this to him”, she says, taking a pot out of her bag.

“Oh, okay”, you take it from her hands and turn around, putting it in the fridge.

“You can have some, I made a lot”, she says awkwardly and you smile at her.

“Thank you, Lia. Are you sure you don't want to wait?” You ask, looking at the mirror, you're sure he will be home soon and if she stays it's less of an opportunity for you to speak to him.

“I have class”, she sighs, “can you tell him to call me?”

“Sure, I'll tell him”, you nod. She starts walking to the door and you accompany her, saying goodbye and watching her enter the elevator, waving goodbye to you while the doors are closing.

You're sure you could have been friends if things were different. You sigh, rolling up the sleeves of your shirt while going back inside.

You brought a lot of vegetables, they all need to be washed before being put in the fridge, so you start taking them out of the bags to organize everything.

You have the sink’s tap running and some music playing on your phone, so when the door is opened and a tired Jisung enters the house you don't seem to notice.

He stares at you as if you're a mirage, happiness overflowing in his chest with your presence back home. He watches as you hum to the song playing, a few strands of your hair falling on your face.

With a bowl of vegetables ready to be stored, you turn around bumping into your best friend, making you jump.

“When did you get here?” You ask, with your hand on your chest, heart beating fast, not sure if it's because of the surprise or because you're finally facing him.

“I just got here”, he lies, he can't tell you it's been minutes he's there watching you.

You nod, opening the fridge to store the vegetables, trying to avoid his gaze. Not sure of how to act now that you're back.

“Oh, Lia stopped by and left you this”, you point to the pot.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know she was going to come here”, he starts explaining and you frown.

“There's no reason for you to apologize, she's your girlfriend”, you answer nonchalantly and he steps back, feeling a sudden ache in his chest. You're not even looking at him while saying that, but why is it that you look so unbothered? Are you really over him? That's what he wanted, so why doesn't he feel relieved?

“She's not my girlfriend”, he tells you, frowning. You finally look at him, he's staring at you like he expects something from you. You don't know what he wants and you sure don't have the energy to try and find out.

“Anyway”, you say, closing the fridge, “I'm sure she'll be your girlfriend soon, you can bring her anytime you want don't mind me”

“Won't you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, fidgeting uncomfortably.

“Not at all”, you grab your phone and put it in your pocket, ready to go take a shower. “I plan on bringing my boyfriend a lot here, so it won't be fair to you if you can't do the same”

You flash him a smile before heading to your room. You're acting the same as you did before your confession, so why does it make him so miserable now?

“So, does he want to ask for your hand in marriage or something like that?” Felix asks, making you and Hannah choke on your drinks, while Hyunjin and Minho laugh at your reaction. “I'm just asking!”

“No, why would you even think that?”, you chuckle.

“It's such a formal thing to have dinner like this”, Seungmin points out, “normal people just arrange a meeting at a cafe or something like that”

“He likes y/n, he must not be right in the head”, Jeongin says and you smack him in the head, making him pout.

“I think it's cute that he wants to meet you all formally”, you say.

“I think it's nice too”, Hannah supports you, “if you guys don't wanna go just say it”

“Now, we didn't say that”, Minho says. “It's just a bit weird to finally meet a boyfriend you actually like. Especially since we all thought Hannie would fall in love with you eventually”

You nod, sighing and feeling a bit upset with his comment, but you know it's impossible for people to forget you were in love with Jisung for more than a decade.

“Yeah, I get where you're coming from, but I'm happy with Jeongho and I want you all to meet him and know how great he is”

Minho nods.

“Yeah, okay. Then, I guess I'll have to give him the ‘dad talk’”, he says seriously and everyone laughs at your terrified face.

“Please don't”, you beg him.

You get home earlier than expected, Jisung is not home yet so you have the house to yourself for a bit. A long, hot shower is everything you need to relax. It's been a long week with awkward interactions between you and Jisung, you kept trying to avoid him, at least until you feel comfortable like you used to.

You spend too much time organizing your wardrobe, when you look at the time you realize how late it is. So you grab a towel and hurry to the bathroom, trying to get back to your room before Jisung gets home.

The hot water does wonders to you, even though you have to take a quick shower, it helps a lot with your sore muscles from stress.

When you wrap yourself in the towel and your clothes are nowhere to be found, you know you fucked up. It's even worse when you hear the beeps at the door, fucking hell. Things are already awkward, if you walk out of this bathroom in only a piece of fabric, things will be even worse.

You can tell Jisung is in the kitchen because you can hear him walking around, opening the cabinets and humming to some music while setting the table. You're sure you can just run to your room and he'll never know this happened.

That would be a great plan, actually, if Han wasn't knocking on your room's door exactly when you got out of the bathroom.

He turns around, with a big smile on his face that automatically dies down the moment he sees you. Your life is so fucked up, really. You have been living together for three years, of course he had seen you in only a towel before but things were inevitably different now. Maybe he thinks you did this on purpose?

"Ahm-", you're trying to explain yourself, you can tell he's speechless, "I was trying to shower before you arrived and happened to forget to take my clothes with me", you say, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah", he answers, stepping aside so you can enter your room. "You can come eat when you're done, I brought pizza", he says and you nod, walking fast into your room and locking the door.

From now on you'll have a checklist of things you have to take to the bathroom when showering so your dumbass doesn't forget about the most important thing: clothes.

Han feels his ears getting warmer, you look somehow different, he just can't tell exactly what changed. Every other time you saw him in a towel or the other way around, you both would brush it off and laugh about it, why does he feel so embarrassed now?

"Did you change your hair?" He asks, your mouth is full so you can't answer him right away.

"No? Maybe it grew a bit"

"That must be it", he nods.

Yeah, it's definitely her hair that's different, he thinks.

"I'll do the dishes, you must be tired after practicing all day", you say, gathering the plates.

Han nods, getting up and telling you he's going to take a shower.

The image of the drops of water running from your hair through your neck and chest and disappearing in the soft fabric is the first thing that comes to Jisung's mind when the hot water hits his skin.

Where you always like that? Your skin looked so soft, he felt the urge to caress it, what would your reaction be if he touched you?

Han frowns, why the hell is he thinking about that? He must be crazy, it's the only reasonable answer.

The fact that another date with Lia went by and Jisung couldn't pay attention to a word she said makes it clear to him that things are not the same between them and that he doesn't want to keep things going as they are.

“I think we shouldn't see each other anymore”, he says, when they arrive at her apartment. Lia's hands stop before she can open the door and she turns around slowly, looking at Jisung.

“What are you talking about?” She asks, leaning on the door, staring at the guy she likes. He sighs, trying to come up with a good explanation for the reason he wants to end things.

“I just, don't feel the same anymore”, he looks at his feet, not able to look her in the eyes yet.

She is staring at him, crossed arms in front of her chest, trying to hold the tears, trying not to break.

“You have been acting indifferent to me for quite some time now”, she points out, with a bitter smile on her lips. “I should have ended things when I first noticed it, I guess I just like you that much, huh”, she completes, taking a deep breath.

“I'm sorry”, Han sighs, finally looking at her, “I didn't mean to hurt you”

“Yeah”, she scoffs, “Is it because of y/n?”

Jisung's eyes widen.

“It was always quite clear that she liked you”, she completes, before he can say anything. “I just didn't pay any mind to it because you guys have been friends for such a long time”

“It's not like that-”, he tries to argue.

“That day at the cafe you couldn't take your eyes out of her and that guy”, she points out, “she liked you for so long and right when she finds someone else you start liking her?” Lia scoffs, feeling the tears brimming in her eyes.

“I don't like her like that”, he says and the girl rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that”, she says before turning around and entering her apartment, closing the door in his face.

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.

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[toomanystoriessolittletime]

How did it end?

Summary: A flashback to the night that changed your lives forever.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 2.4k

Rating: T

Warnings: angst (so much angst), flashbacks, some really hurtful words, cursing, crying, pregnancy tests, Joel being a dick, Calvin being the best supportive brother

A/N: somehow I feel in my mind like this should have been worse, but I am sure you all do not feel like that at all so I'm sorry lol

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part three of invisible string

Even before the outbreak you dealt with your anxiety or with big life decisions the same way.

You were stress cleaning. 

After walking out from Joel you made your way into the town centre, picking up your kids and then got back home where your brother Calvin was already trying to cook something but you mutually made the decision that you were gonna cook while he bathed the kids. 

You both did not want him to burn the house down.

He wanted to ask you how it went, having run into Maria on his way home from the Patrol meeting, who had told her that you had been at the clinic to see Joel. 

But this wasn’t the time or the place. 

It ended up being a nice evening all things considered. 

You had dinner, played some boardgames, read a good night stories to your kids and watched them sleep in their little beds until the nervous energy in your body left you walking back downstairs.

Once the house got quiet after the kids and you brother were asleep (he had an early morning with his first big day on Patrol the next day) you were alone with your thoughts. 

And your thoughts were loud, and demanded to be heard. 

So you went into the kitchen, took a look at all the cleaning supplies that were still stocked under the kitchen sink and got to work. 

You started with the top of the kitchen cabinets, standing on the counter as you scrubbed what felt like centuries of dust off of them until you were satisfied and moved to inside the cabinets. 

What a picture it would be if one of your new neighbours caught the crazy lady next door deep cleaning the kitchen at 2 am during the literal apocalypse.

Cleaning usually had the power to make the thoughts inside your head shut up. 

But as you emptied the cabinets so you could clean them inside, your mind drifted to the last time you had tried to deal with whatever was going on in your life by extensively deep cleaning every surface around you. 

The Outbreak might have been an excuse for many people to let things like cleaning the place where they lived become unimportant. 

Which deep down it was of course.

Why have a clean kitchen when just down the street, behind the fences and walls the so called new government had pulled up, there were people and what once were people dying or fighting (or eating) each other?

But you always lived by the mindset of clean home, clean mind. 

And what you desperately needed right now was a clean mind. 

Two ten year old positive pregnancy tests you took this morning after feeling off for the last couple of weeks and missing you period were enough reason to freak out. 

But you couldn’t freak out. 

Joel would do that for you, you were sure. 

That was, if he ever decided to come home to you again after being on a run with Tess for the last four days. 

He hadn’t even told you or kissed you goodbye this time. 

You had woken up to a note on the kitchen table telling you that he’d be gone on a run with Tess and he didn’t know how long.

Something about your husband had changed in the last few months. 

It changed ever since Tommy left and Tess was his only influence outside of you. Not that you had much influence on anything he did nowadays. 

It wasn’t like he was the most attentive men to begin with. 

But you fell for him. 

You fell for the complicated, traumatised and closed off man who to this day was the most handsome man you had ever met. 

And deep down you knew he fell for you, mumbling his confessions of love into your skin when he thought you were asleep. 

It was the way he looked at you. 

The way he brought home a new book to read whenever he went out of the QZ. 

The way he made you forget about the fucked up word outside of the walls you made your home whenever he gave you his full attention. 

He wouldn’t have put a ring on your finger years earlier as you laid in his arms, asking you to be his until the day you both died, if he did not love you, would he?

You loved him, you loved him even when he seemed to make it his personal goal to make you hate him. 

He used to be home every night in the beginning. 

He used to love to spend time with you and you with him. Staying up just talking for hours if he wasn’t making love to you. 

Because even when he was fucking you, it felt different. More… intense. More passionate.  

He used to smile at you. 

By now you couldn’t remember the last time he smiled at you now. 

And by the time you had practically polished the whole shitty apartment you and Joel lived in it was dark outside and he still wasn’t home. 

In hopes he would be home and it would lift his mood you had made dinner that now sat cold on the stove.

It was after 11pm and you were tired, having been in the bathroom brushing your teeth when you heard the door unlock and open. 

A nervous flutter in your stomach made the dinner you had earlier almost come up but you took a deep breath, looking at yourself in the small mirror over the sink. 

You were wearing one of Joel’s old worn flannels, his familiar scent in your nose. 

What was the worst that could happen?

It was not like you could just turn back time?

You were pregnant and he just would have to deal with it. 

Right?

You would never forget the way his eyes hardened once you said the words

„I am pregnant.“

He had been in a relatively good mood when you joined him in the small kitchen, having already taken his shoes and coat off, his hair damp from the rain outside. 

It made you reconsider telling him for a tiny moment, wanting to just enjoy this with him. But maybe he would not react like you thought he would? Maybe he would be happy?

You wanted to ask a million question about how it went but you were too nervous, having instead kissed his cheek with a whispered „I miss you“ and then offered to warm up some food for him. 

He had put his hand on your waist, his fingers brushing over your stomach as he went into the bathroom, his lips against your temple telling you that he would just take a quick shower. 

It was after he ate, the table cleaned that you told him. 

Sitting across from him at the tiny shitty table you had, your hands flat on the surface, the silence after you told him the news sickening.

His whole face had changed, expression hard, by the time he opened his mouth to speak. 

„Is it mine?“ He asked and you just blinked at him, speechless, your head falling back as if he had slapped you, before you answered. 

„What do you mean? Who else would it be? We’re married,“ you said and he scoffed. 

„Doesn’t mean you don’t open your legs for anyone else while I’m gone,“ he sneered and you flinched at the accusation and the tone he used. 

Sucking your bottom lip in you looked at your hands, still on the table, nodding your head slowly. 

„Good to know what you think of me after all these years,“ you whispered, still trying to process his words. 

„What did you think would happen? That I’ll be happy? Newsflash darlin’, this isn’t one of your dumb romance novels you keep reading,“ he said, before he brought his fist down on the table, making you jump. He got up from where he was sitting, walking over to the cabinet that held all the liquor he scavenged, opening the one bottle of original Jack Daniel’s and taking a long sip. 

„You gonna get rid of it,“ he said and you looked at him. 

„Excuse me?“ You asked. 

„Don’t want no kids of mine in this fucked up world. And especially not with you,“ he said and you felt slapped again. One blow after the next coming from him. You crossed your arms in front of your stomach protectively. 

You had imagined his reaction would be bad, but this wasn’t bad. This was destroying you.

„So that’s it, you don’t want a kid, and I have to just comply?“

„That’s exactly how it is, sweetheart,“ he grinned darkly at you, shaking his head and leaning against the wall and you desperately tried to find the tiniest part of the person you had fallen in love with as you looked at him. 

But there was nothing left. 

Maybe you just had been too blind to see it until now.

„I thought you loved me,“ you whispered, tears in your eyes. 

„How can someone love you? You thought because I put a ring on your finger everything would be okay? We’d be a happy little family and live in this shitty apartment in this shitty QZ while the world around us is fucking dying? How did you think this would go?“ He asked. 

„You made it sound like I planned this. Do you think I like this? Do you think I like being pregnant by a man who even though treated me like the fucking dirt beneath his shoes for the last months, was still the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with?“ 

„Then get rid of it and we can get back to it,“ he said and you scoffed.

„You really think things are gonna get back to how they were after you said all that?“ You asked. 

He shrugged. 

„Where would you go? You have no family. No friends. All you have is me,“ he said. 

„And you’re so different? Who do you have? Tommy left because…“

„Do not talk about my brother,“ he threatened and glared at you. 

You shook your head, taking a deep breath. 

He was drunk. 

This was not going anywhere. 

This would never go anywhere.

„Things are not going to go back. I can find someone better than you on every corner,“ he said and you could not stop the sob that shook your body and you were pretty sure you could hear your heart breaking. 

„I don’t love you. I never did,“ he said and the tears you had tried to hold in finally fell. 

„Get rid of this, before I take care of it,“ he said, and a chill ran down your spine at his tone. 

„And then get the fuck out of my life.“

You were in the last touches of finishing cleaning the kitchen when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. 

You hadn’t even noticed the tears until Calvin pulled against his chest, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. 

„You wanna talk about it?“ He asked and you shook your head. 

„Not yet. Not ever if I’m honest,“ you mumbled and he chuckled. 

„Need to talk to him though,“ you said and leaned back, turning around to turn on the stove to heat up some water and make some tea for the both of you. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall you noticed that it was just before 5 am. 

„Don’t need to do anything,“ he said and opened the fridge, getting the lunch he had prepared the day before for his day out and grabbing some stuff to make himself a sandwich. 

„I can’t ignore him forever. As much as I would like to. He’s…. He’s here and he won’t go anywhere. Neither will we. So we have to…. Co-exist somehow.“

You both get to your tasks before you both sat down at the table, you with two mugs of tea, one for him, him with two sandwiches, one which he pushed towards you. 

„You still love him,“ your brother said after a while and you sighed, looking up at him. 

„Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t think I’l ever be able to forgive him for everything that happened,“ you smiled sadly. 

„Well,“ your brother said before he got up and put his plate in the sink.

„Then you should talk to him and tell him that so you can both move on with your lives.“

You followed him towards the front of the house where he put his shoes on and checked if he had everything in his little backpack for this first patrol. 

„What if he wants to be in their lives?“ You asked, nodding upstairs to where both your children were still sleeping. 

„Do you think he wants to? He made himself pretty clear from what you’ve told me,“ Calvin said. 

„I don’t know. It’s been a long time and he seemed…. He seemed really sorry? I just….“ You took a deep breath, shaking your head.

„Nope. I am not gonna spend any more time thinking about Joel Miller. I’m gonna go upstairs and take a two hour nap and then I’m gonna go and explore our new home while my children are learning stuff in an actual school,“ you said. 

„There you go!“ Calvin grinned.

„Be safe today!“ You said, grinning back and hugged him quickly. 

„You too,“ he smiled, before he opened the door, your face falling as you saw Joel stand on the porch, his hand held up in a fist as if he was about to knock. 

„I’m here to pick you up for patrol? Tommy’s gotta stay home today,“ Joel said as he looked between you and your brother. 

„Well that is gonna be fun,“ Calvin said, winking at you, before he stepped out and pulled the door shut behind him, giving Joel no chance to try to say anything more if he wanted to.

You watched them through the window next to the door as they walked down the porch and then down the street until they were out of sight. 

Letting your shoulders fall while you exhaled with a sigh you shook your head before you made your way upstairs. 

This was gonna be a long day. 

[katiascraft]

BLOG MASTERLIST

works by cate :) hope you like it 💌 feedback is always welcome.

FORMULA 1

Charles Leclerc

“Am i too much for you? Maybe I’m too much for everyone” -> Reader feels insecure but Charles makes sure she knows how important she is to the world (specially his world).

“Tender is the night for a broken heart” -> You been feeling very sad lately. Your emotional stress is taking you places you didn’t want to back in ever again. And Charles knows it - just wanna make sure you know you are loved despite it all.

“You think you won ‘cause you got the man. But honey, you’ll always be a fan” -> Charles has a new girl and she’s obsessed with you.

“If I define her I limit her” -> You go together to the Gladiator || premier because your best friend Paul Mescal invited you. You didn’t expect Charles being so sweet talking about you on interviews.

“26” -> the world didn’t know you and Charles broke up a few months ago. it was until you haven’t been to any gp people started speculating. he finds some one new. Makes his dream com true. And you write an album about him reveling how you broke up and why.

Lando Norris

part 1: “opposite”, part 2: “sue me” -> Reader and Lando broke up a few months ago. You both assist a mutual friend��s birthday party and Lando has a new girl. Then reader has a girlfriend and thinks she’s all right. But did she really move on?

part 1: “so long, London”, part 2: “L’AMOUR DE MA VIE” -> You and Lando have been engaged for a while. You thought you were end game but he didn’t love you anymore. Then, you moved on. But Lando didn’t.

“If you were my boyfriend. And I was your girlfriend. Probably wouldn’t see nobody else” -> you are just ‘friends’.

“If nothing else get you through. Then darling, I’ll cry with you” -> Lando was fighting the championship until the Brazil GP happens. Max wins and Lando pretends it’s not a big deal. But you know, it is.

“Him” -> oblivious idiots to lovers. That’s what Max said.

“I would set the world on fire for you” -> after the Brazil GP, lando comes home to the worst week of his year. Also, it was his birthday. So even though the world hates him, you wanna make sure he is loved and he did nothing wrong. And that if you could you would set the world on fire for him.

Oscar Piastri

“I’ll pay the price I guess” -> the world hates you’re dating Oscar.

“This is how you fall in love” -> Oscar is truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

"Maybe i should've told you i miss you. But i don't know if you feel the same" -> your insecurities lead to lose the love of your life, but destiny always play its worst (or best) cards for you. in the aftermath of it all, two souls become one (again). or that's what you'd like.

Franco Colapinto

“But we were something, don’t you think so? And if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you” -> You and franco broke out a year ago. You are now Williams Racing social media manager and he’s an F1 driver. Your job just got a bit harder because of him. Is possible a second chance?

"Modales" -> You had a brief yet beautifully intense romance with F1 driver Franco Colapinto a few years ago when he was driving for F3. When he decided to end your relationship, you didn’t expect he would move on that quickly.

“Pueden más que el amor y son más fuertes que el Olimpo” -> how is like to date Franco since your teenage years. And how is for you as a student to balance your world and his world to make the relationship work.

Lewis Hamilton

“Can’t believe you’ve noticed me” -> Reader and Leiws are on vacation. One day under the golden hour he decides to sing you a song he wrote for you.

Made in Argentina : The series

Reader is argentine and Franco Colapinto's bestie.

Lando’s Version -> part 1

Oscar’s version -> part 1

Franco Colapinto

coming soon.

Like , reblog & comment if you like! Support your fave writers!

[myteavsricochet]

Latest firstprince fanfics read: Part 4

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

all i need (is on the other side of the door)

alex's neighbour plays the piano late at night when he's studying, and he hates it. when he meets his neighbour henry, he starts to form a crush on the hot british neighbour with a cute tax attorney beagle.

little does he know that henry's the one playing the piano.

I remember the time I knew what happiness was (Let the memory live again)

Alex undergoes medical treatment for depression, and comes out with some memories missing.

Henry helps him through it, and some memories are brought to light.

the tragic flaw is that they hide the truth (that you're enough, you're enough)

Alex has been staring.

For weeks now, actually.

Henry had originally chalked it up to Alex being, well, Alex. But lately, Henry can’t help but take it in as more than just his boyfriend's usual oddness.

Or: After gaining some weight, Henry feels self conscious. Alex however, loves his tummy.

Barracuda Is Down

“Barracuda is down, repeat, Barracuda is down-"

An attempt on the lives of the Claremont-Diaz's leads to a horrifying experience for Henry Fox, who was just trying to settle into new life with Alex in their New York City home. The two stand a test of true love-- if they can come out of the worst of their worst together.

Trigger Warning for Gun Violence

turn the desert to glass (you would be the one)

Henry and Alex's domestic bliss has lead to some changes in Henry's body. Henry doesn't really mind being a little chubby, but he wonders if Alex does. Alex, it turns out, does not. Not one bit. He does not mind one bit, and he is more than eager to prove it.

drowning man

Alex didn't know how he did it. How he did seventeen years of school, and extracurriculars, worked on his mother's, Rafael Luna's, and his father's campaigns, and was a good son/brother at the same time. He truly doesn't know how he did it.

He doesn't know how to recreate it.

He's starting law school this fall. He moved to New York and he's going to law school to become a lawyer and help people, then run for Congress.

you taste like home

“I lied to you,” he says.

He doesn’t clarify. He doesn’t have to.

Alex toys with his fingers. Quiet settles over them, offset by the pattering rain.

“I know.”

–

Or, the rizcriz prompt where Alex and Henry are roommates and Henry lies when Alex confesses his feelings in order to protect their dynamic.

we’d still worship this love (even if it’s a false god)

Alex and Henry are sleeping together because it's convenient, alright? They hate each other; it's supposed to be causal. So, why does Alex feel his heart break when he realises he's not the only one Henry is sleeping with?

It's Called Tact, Fuck-Rag!

Texas had been an odd choice, some might say. Henry thinks it's perfect. College is a time to go crazy, after all.

A Scream AU

Dallas, Texas

I thought I knew hopelessness. I thought I'd learned its specific dread years ago.

There's an assassination attempt on Ellen, Henry is caught up in the damage. Alex is... coping about as well as you would expect.

The sunshine lighting up my darkest days

Henry has a dark day and his daughter sits and reads to him.

Dancing, Drinking, Delighting in You

"Dance with me?" Alex asks, holding out a large hand to Henry. His palm is up, ready to take Henry's in it.

That very palm is one that Henry is oh-so familiar with. It's the palm that finds itself on the dip of Henry's hip when they lean closer together, the palm that cups Henry's cheek when they kiss. It's the palm that places itself on his chest as it pushes him down until the breath is knocked out of him, half by the impact of his back on the bed and half by the feeling of Alex's lips that often find his own not a minute later. He's traced the ridges of that palm, the slopes of its dips and curves, and drawn on the lines that June swears reveal Alex's nature. It's the palm that holds Henry's own, the one he kisses as Alex spoons him, the one that holds Henry's heart.

It's just his hand, but there isn't any universe in which Henry wouldn't take it.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Love, Henry has found, is at its strongest on a mundane Thursday night.

he feels like home

“Alex,” Henry sounded surprised to see him. He locked the door behind himself before dropping his things near Alex’s bag and hurrying toward him. Alex stood to meet him in the middle, Henry’s arms coming up around his shoulders while his own wound around Henry’s waist. Finally, despite being surrounded by all things Henry since he got home, everything clicked into place. Alex’s heart swelled as he breathed in the smell of real-life Henry and not just the products he used; this was home: clean linens and fresh-cut grass, with the new addition of cinnamon that clung to him, too, now that he spent so much time in Alex’s orbit. The realization made him dizzy.

-

or, alex gets a random night off; domesticity ensues

prove me wrong

Alex has texted.

Open the door. The first reads.

I’m not ready to go. The second says.

He stares down at the texts, then looks up at the door, and back down to the texts. You have a plane to catch, he replies.

I’ll figure that out later. Let me in. Comes the reply.

And Henry. Is feeling fragile and a little torn open and wanting and so he does the exact opposite of what he should do—he should tell Alex to go home because this was only a night, and they have to go back to their respective roles and expectations. They can’t just tell the rest of the world to fuck off while they get lost in each others skin.

--

or, Paris is more than a single night

come and get me

The email arrives 8 days after Henry left the lake house. He contemplates deleting it without reading, but it sits in his Alex inbox, where there are over seventy emails favourited, and somehow it feels wrong and weirdly impersonal.

As if leaving without a note were any different.

He stares at the from line with an aching longing that seeps into his veins. It settles on his heart like a tangible thing; something warranted and cruel that casts shackles around the aorta and locks them tight so that he might never love again.

--

or, alex sends an email instead of flying to KP.

Be Worthy Love, and Love Will Come

"For Christmas this year, all I would like is a best friend who doesn’t mind too much that I’m a prince. Most of my classmates poke fun because of who I am, or treat me like I’m too special to be their friend. I want a best friend who knows me as much as my family does and still likes me. I know that you can’t wrap a best friend up in a box and put it under the tree, but you’re magic so you know the best way to bring one."

(Movieverse canon divergence; Prince Henry, age 8, writes to Father Christmas wishing for a best friend. A few weeks later, he finds one.)

your needs, my needs

”Love,” he soothes, reaching out his hand to gently place it on Alex’s cheek and shuffles closer to the bed. ”Are you okay?”

Alex doesn’t answer his question and the silence tells Henry everything he needs to know. ”You’re home,” he says instead after a while, his voice rough and barely above a whisper.

***

Alex struggles with exam season and Henry helps him through it.

Fierce winds of love

Standing inside the lake, bleeding through his heart from a Henry shaped hole, Alex didn’t know. He didn’t know how to breathe, how to live or even how to exist without Henry.

If he managed to get himsef out of the lake, somehow made his legs work and enter his room, would he find Henry there, or would he be gone with the wind.

But if he just stayed there frozen, not finding the room empty, it would mean Henry never left, right? Never there but never not there either.

Biology 101 for babies

“There's a boy,” Arthur says seriously, still holding a bright red crayon tightly in his fist. “At nurs... nurs'ry. He's new an' he's brown.”

Henry, still twisting round to give Arthur his attention, blinks a couple of times, then very carefully takes his hands out of the washing up bowl and pulls off his gloves. “I see. What's his name?”

“Michael.”

"Alright. And why is it unusual that he is, as you say, brown?”

Arthur frowns. “Nobody else is brown.”

Henry realises with dawning horror and amusement that he is about to have one of the weirdest conversations of his entire life. “Arthur, my little love – you're brown.”

whatever you need

Alex’s jaw aches. He’s buried in a mountain of coursework preparing for the final that’s going to make or break any potential future career in law he has, his vision is blurry, and his fucking jaw aches. No amount of stretching it out or massaging at its hinges is helping, and it’s all he can focus on. Not the merits of a case from the 1980’s that set legal precedent, not the infuriating blinking of the cursor on his screen, only the insistent ache in his jaw.

He’s going to scream.

He opens his mouth to do just that, to vent all the frustration of it all out in an agonized groan, when he hears his bedroom door open and the silky sweet voice of his boyfriend saying, “Love, I made you dinner.”

pillow prince

So Henry lays on his side in bed, fidgeting with the unused pillow next to his head. No matter how hard he tries to force the thoughts of Alex out of his mind, they’re stuck. He thinks about the way Alex shook his hand upon arrival. Strong and firm with arms that nearly winded him upon sight. His unenthusiastic smile was still so bright and filled Henry’s stomach with butterflies. He was able to cope with that, he thinks. Then came the glasses.

Usually, Henry isn’t this quick to crumble. He’s always good at appearances and keeping everything together. He’s capable of restraining any unwelcome emotions. Or at least he was. Now he’s struggling to not rut against his mattress all over the passing thoughts of Alex.

---

or alex walks in on henry humping a pillow and wants to watch and help

Someone special

"That was Shaan," Henry explains as Alex snuggles closer to him, pressing his nose to his neck. "The blizzard hit early, apparently. Too risky to fly."

"So Christmas here?" Alex says in that sleepy drawl of his that Henry will never get tired of. "Fuckin' sweet."

in paper rings; in picture frames

“Your love for me,” Henry says, “and your devotion to our marriage, are here.”

He presses his own hand, and Alex’s where he’s still holding it, to the center of Alex’s warm chest, applies gentle pressure until he can feel the beat of Alex’s heart beneath the skin and muscle and bone that make up the framework of his favorite person in the universe.

“Not in a piece of metal, Alex, no matter how sentimental it may be,” Henry says softly. “Just here.”

or; Alex loses his wedding ring, and Henry is very understanding about it

Say don't go (I would stay forever if you say)

“Henry, there is something wrong. I’m June, by the way. I run this place, and this is Nora. Uhm. You see, one of our employees forgot to remove the date from the website."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I’m really sorry," June says, trying not to cringe.

"Please don’t expect me to go find a place tonight in this rain." Henry is angry, but he still keeps his composure.

"No. No, we have a place."

“We have?" Nora asks, as clueless as Henry is.

—

Or

Henry books a hotel online only to find out that the said hotel accepted it in error, and now he has to crash the hotel owner’s brother’s room because he has no place to go.

[thankeywa]

“hiiii i loved your last piece and damn your writting is SO GOOD <3 so i ask you pretty please if you could right about an aged up!lo'ak w aged up!reader where they're in a romantic relationship and finally mate after a couple of months of waiting. THANKS IN ADVANCE LUV YA”

hiiii! so, as you asked me to, this is me fowarding the request! 🫶🏻 i imagine this being with a female reader, something like childhood friends to lovers – the girl would be a na’vi and they grew up together or smt. i also see the reader being a little scared of mating with lo’ak – thinking things like i love this man but he’s so reckless i dont wanna loose him – and shit. i trust you a 100% with this because I KNOW you're gonna make me giggle scream in my pillows and punch the air even if i read your grocery store list.

lmk if you need anything more! lots of love & kisses. 💘💘💕💞💘💖💗💓💗

Chosen | Lo'ak x fem!Omaticaya!reader (Smut)

A.N: Hello there! Sorry this took me so long, but I'm in the middle of exam season and also my birthday was last week and yea lots of stuffs going on. I hope my interpretation of your request will be everything you dreamed of, tbh I went a lil extra, but this story has literally been plaguing me for days and I loved writing it so much!

Summary: fem!Omaticaya!reader x Lo'ak, both reader and Lo'ak are 18/19 in this, usually I write 20+ characters but I was trying to keep the story as close as possible to Na'vi 'marriage traditions, according to them 15 is the age of maturity and I believe parents arrange marriages around that time, but if anyone is uncomfortable with this then please feel free to imagine the characters are older.

T.W.: NSFW, this is pr0n with feelings, but it is detailed. As always, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK OR ANY OF MY ACCOUNTS, thank you. Awkward first-time shenanigans, angst, fluff, and yeah if I missed anything please let me know.

T.W. 2: This turned into a whole ass fic so forewarning for mentions of blood, neglectful parenting, and a near-death experience for a main character.

Word count: 6.355

Mini dictionary for this fic:

Olo'eyktan = clan leader

Kaltxì! = hello

Oeru syaw... = My name is...

Ngaru tut? = And you are?

Sempul= father

Sa'nok= mother

Oe tìwayn...= I love...

Tsahik= spiritual leader

Yawne = beloved

Oeya- = My-

Oel ngati kameie = I see you

Nga yawne lu oer = I love you (You are beloved to me)

Kehe= no

If you have any Lo'ak requests, please send them my way!

Lo'ak had never been chosen for anything in his life.

For as long as he'd remembered, his parents had either been taking every spare moment they had to teach Neteyam the right path in life, so that he would one day be an Olo'eyktan fit enough to succeed his father or alternatively, dote on his sisters. It was at an embarrassingly young age when he discovered that he could have wandered off from the safety of his family and nobody would have taken much notice until the eclipse would come, and it was time to turn in.

Even on those occasions, Lo'ak would try to prove his worth by showing his father a creature he had caught or a place he had 'discovered', but his parents didn't really do much other than reprimand him for his reckless behavior.

"You know you were supposed to help me look after your baby sister today, why is it so hard for you to understand basic instructions?" His father would huff, dragging him back home while carrying Tuk on his shoulders. Lo'ak looked at her. She was a tiny infant, where could she have possibly gone by herself? And why did he have to stick around to look after her, while Neteyam and Kiri were out hunting with their mother?

Eventually, his disappearances stopped raising alarms, as his family had accepted Lo'ak would always find his way back or his brother would be the one to recuperate him. On these occasions, Lo'ak had tried to fit in with the rest of the clan but had quickly discovered his presence wasn't all that welcome among his peers. While they felt the need to respect him because he was the Olo'eyktan's son and Neteyam's brother, his quirks, specifically his hands and his speech pattern were too... different. Too human. A lot of Omaticayans his age had been orphaned as a consequence of the war against the sky people, and Lo'ak was just another reminder of what their presence had left behind. Not to mention he was also friends with Spider, an actual sky person, even though he was born on Pandora and knew nothing of Earth.

On a day like any other, Lo'ak and Spider were playing hide and seek just the two of them, a game Jake had taught them and was too 'human' sounding for the rest of their peers to want to join in, and Lo'ak had found the perfect hiding spot on a tree Spider was never going to be able to climb when a voice startled him so much, he almost fell out of the branch he'd been resting on.

"Kaltxì!" The little Na'vi girl his age greeted him enthusiastically while hanging upside down from the tree branch directly above him. Lo'ak stared at her and felt like prey in the split second it was about to be hit by an arrow. He had never seen such beautiful eyes. And he had never talked to a girl before, other than his sisters. "Oeru syaw y/n." She continued. "Ngaru tut?"

"L-Lo'ak." He managed to say, instinctively hiding his hands behind his back. She looked at him curiously, almost as if to ponder his silence. Then y/n seemed to have a sudden realization. "Now I know!" She exclaimed again loudly, along with switching her language register, but Lo'ak couldn't care less about losing his game of hide and seek with Spider anymore. "You are the Spider's friend. You speak the English. You see? I speak the English too. You can talk to me." Y/n announced rather diplomatically, not knowing that Lo'ak was perfectly capable of speaking Na'vi as well. "Friends?" She reached out her hand, her eyes brimming with hope.

Lo'ak nodded and smiled back at her, still at a loss for words, until he finally said: "Yes, friends." But he didn't dare to shake her hand. Y/n dropped down from the branch she'd been hanging from gracefully, her tail twitching as she inquired: "You are hurt?", trying to get a better look at his hands.

"No!" Lo'ak blurted out, and in doing so he inadvertently put his hands forward to keep y/n at a distance, while he was backed up against the tree trunk, with nowhere else to go except fall to his death. Y/n's comically large eyes took in the sight of his hands, examining them for signs of trauma. But there were none. Lo'ak braced himself for the inevitable rejection. "Big baby." She chided. "Nothing wrong with your hands, see?" Lo'ak let y/n hold his hands up to his face, and Spider found them like that the very next second.

"Ha-ha!" He panted, out of breath from climbing all the way up to where the two Na'vi hadn't been so quiet. "I. Win."

"Win?" Y/n asked, dropping Lo'ak's hands. "Is it a game? Can I play? Oh, and-and my friends as well. You will meet them now. Come."

Lo'ak realized then, that was what it must have felt like to be chosen by someone.

From that day onward, Lo'ak and y/n had been inseparable. He was the first person she'd pick to play on her team once he and Spider had been accepted by her friends, he was the first and sometimes only person she'd tell her 'secrets' to, and as they grew older they would only go out hunting if the other was with them. Ceremonies, dinners, you name it, Lo'ak and y/n were sitting next to each other, trying their best to keep their giggles and whispers at a low volume, something y/n really couldn't help, especially when Neteyam would turn around to reprimand his younger brother.

Y/n got gradually closer with his family as well over the years, being of big help with babysitting Tuk and escorting Kiri to Hellsgate with the rest of her siblings whenever she wanted to visit her mom. Her English had gotten progressively better, and she was as fluent of a speaker as the rest of the Sullys, regretfully owing a lot of her vocab to the two brothers. On a particular outing to the lab, Lo'ak had been in the middle of teasing Kiri about her conception, and y/n was quick to respond to him, intent on defending her friend.

"-their avatars, all alone in the forest-" Lo'ak goaded Kiri, and y/n cut him off before her best friend could insinuate anything else. "As if you would know anything about that, virgin!" His siblings laughed at this.

"Who are you calling virgin, virgin?" He'd snap back, and their argument would usually end up in a scuffle, which he was always the first one to pull away from.

Lo'ak hadn't realized how easy he had it back then, before... Well, before none of them no longer had time to be kids. The sky people came back around the time of Neteyam's 20th birthday, and yet somehow, that hadn't been the most devastating event Lo'ak was about to experience in the days to come.

"Lo'ak listen to me, and for Eywa's sake, don't run off until I'm done talking." Neteyam rested a hand on his shoulder, he had never seen such a pained expression on his brother's face before. "Sempul has been talking to me about responsibility and family, and-"

Lo'ak tsked, shaking his head. "Big surprise there, bro."

"Lo'ak..." Neteyam said sternly, and Lo'ak wondered when exactly had his brother become so much like their father. "I saw him and sa'nok talking to y/n's parents the other day. Saying stuff like she is the only one other than Kiri who truly understands Eywa's will. They've seen her healing abilities, she's been helping out with the war effort under Mo'at instructions. They want her to be the next tshaik, after mother."

Lo'ak couldn't stop the ugly frown that took over his features, and neither could he prevent himself from shoving his brother off him in disdain. "What are you saying?" He asked angrily, even though he already knew the answer to his question.

"You know what I'm saying, bro-"

"You're not my brother!" Lo'ak snarled, and for once in his life actually felt intimidating as he did so. Neteyam looked even more distraught than he had been a few seconds ago, but his agony was nowhere as close as the hell wreaking havoc inside Lo'ak. Y/n was the one thing Lo'ak had in this world that was truly his, and now he was going to have to stand aside while she married his brother. "I love her, I need her." He screamed, the pain in his chest was unlike anything he'd ever felt. "You don't-"

"Exactly, I don't." Neteyam said, trying to recover his younger brother from his anguish. "And I will say no to this union, but you know this decision is out of my hands-"

"Of course, you'll do anything as long as it doesn't interfere with you being the perfect son!" Lo'ak spat with tears in his eyes and Neteyam was quick to raise his voice, something that he almost never did. "Do not say that, Lo'ak. You know that is not true-"

But Lo'ak was done talking. And he had a feeling he didn't want to stick around for the evening ceremony either.

Y/n had remained deadly silent as her parents had given her the news. Tsahik, marriage, Neteyam. At one point it all started to become white noise in her head. All she could think about was Lo'ak. The day they'd both ridden their ikrans for the first time, and had stayed out well passed the eclipse. The hunting excursions, when it was just the two of them. Listening to human music on a device they'd stolen from the lab one time.

"Oe tìwayn Lo'ak." She'd never said it out loud to anyone, but it was true. She loved Lo'ak, and her parents simply couldn't understand. The younger Sully boy was nothing but a troublemaker, a complete mance to the clan and anyone else around him. They were never going to give their beautiful, talented daughter away to a five-fingered freak of nature, no matter how much she begged and pleaded with them.

Y/n felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, not even recollecting how she'd found herself sitting amongst the rest of the clan, as they all faced the tree of souls and the Olo'eyktan began to speak. She couldn't see Lo'ak anywhere. Y/n found it harder and harder to breathe. He was still her best friend, and she needed to tell him what was about to happen before his father announced it to everyone they knew. Lo'ak would have thought she'd have kept it secret from him, and y/n could never break his trust.

"It is with great pride and joy that today we-" The clan leader, Jake Sully, had stopped talking in the middle of his speech and was now looking directly at her. In fact, everybody was. Y/n only then realized she'd stood up while everyone else was still sitting down. Neytiri walked up to her, wiping the tears from her face. Y/n hadn't even realized she'd been crying. "Child, you do not look well." She spoke warmly as if she were speaking to one of her own daughters.

Y/n's tail was twitching violently, still looking around for Lo'ak as she took in a shaky breath. "It is Lo'ak." She managed to say. "He is not here." Y/n whined and her parents decided to step in. "Sit down, daughter. You are disrespecting the clan leader. End this foolishness at once!" But Neytiri was quick to be concerned, asking Neteyam for answers about his brother's whereabouts. "He could not be here. And I do not blame him."

Jake finally decided to have his say. The only fool around had been him, if he'd only now realized the love Lo'ak and y/n had for each other, if the look in her eyes and Lo'ak's disappearance from her side had been anything to go by. "Every single one of our people is allowed to speak their mind. Y/n has not disrespected me, or anyone else." Jake reassured her parents. Y/n saw no other way out for herself, and she knew she was either going to have to say the truth now or forever be silent. "Forgive me, Olo'eyktan. Forgive me, Neytiri. I know I am promised to your eldest son, and I know you wish for me to be tsahik one day. These are the two greatest honors I could ever ask from Eywa herself, and I am grateful. Nothing should be more important to me than looking after the clan, especially now, in a time of war... but my heart, it belongs to your youngest son. It belongs to Lo'ak. It always has. And because I know I would be doing the clan a disservice, that I would be undermining your authority and Mo'at's, I am prepared to be exiled from the clan or pay whatever other punishment in light of my failure."

A loud ruckus erupted as soon as y/n had finished her speech, her parents, in particular, trying to undermine everything she'd just said, while everybody else began to give their opinion on the matter. "Where is he? Your demon son? Can he not even vouch for the woman he has clearly seduced?"

Neteyam could still hear the clan squabbling from where he eventually found his brother. His usual hiding place. "When you are done sulking" He said, announcing his presence before grabbing Lo'ak by the scruff of his neck. "Maybe you could come back and stand by y/n side. She is talking of leaving the clan-" Neteyam's eyes widened as he saw the deep claw marks that ran from Lo'ak's chest all the way down to his left side. Lo'ak was clutching his abdomen, his hands covered in blood.

"Lo'ak, look at me... bro!" Neteyam's voice cracked. "I'm taking you home now, understand? You're going to be fine..."

"I thought... If I could be... a mighty warrior... like you..." Lo'ak murmured, a faint smile on his face. "Maybe... "

But he didn't get to finish that sentence, because a blood-curdling scream had just pierced through both of their ears. Y/n had known about every single one of Lo'ak hiding places too, and it hadn't taken her long to find him. It was almost as if she'd already known, deep within her bones, that he had gone and hurt himself, yet nothing could have prepared her for seeing him like this. "Yawne, what have you done? what have you done?" She wailed and kissed his face, trying to put pressure on his wounds. Neteyam had to separate them, his priority was to take Lo'ak back to Mo'at in time, even though he was just as devastated as y/n.

Y/n didn't leave Lo'ak's side for a single second over the following days. She carried him home with Neteyam. She helped Mo'at and Neytiri heal him. She stayed by his bed until he finally regained consciousness. "Oeya-Lo'ak, you are awake!" Y/n embraced him, mindful of his recovering wounds. Lo'ak pulled away from y/n enough to look into her eyes. "You see me. Only you see me." He said, touching her face gently as she nodded, pressing her forehead against his. "Oel ngati kameie." Y/n whispered, and Lo'ak could have cried when he heard those words leave her lips. "Nga yawne lu oer, y/n. I see you."

Lo'ak came to know of her and Neteyam's refusal to be together, of the rift it had cut between y/n and her parents. How she'd stood up in front of them and the entire clan to declare that she loved him and she would sooner be exiled than belong to anyone else other than him. Amongst the Omaticaya there were some who were certain Lo'ak had taken advantage of y/n, so that he could trap her in being with him, knowing full well Lo'ak would have never lived up to his brother's perfect image. All of this enraged him. He could no longer withstand being on bedrest while wild accusations were being made on y/n. On his mate.

She hissed at him while he tried to get up, and his siblings were having none of it either, when his parents finally turned up to see him. Lo'ak took in their expressions. He had never seen them so worn out with worry. Both Neytiri and Jake embraced their youngest son, dutifully checking on him. After making sure he had eaten, and with Mo'at's permission, his parents asked for everyone except y/n to leave.

By the time his parents had also left, Lo'ak and y/n were promised to each other.

Lo'ak was on strict orders to recuperate from his run-in with a thanator over the coming weeks and was forced to get updates about the ongoing war from Kiri and Tuk. Neteyam and y/n would visit every day, but now that y/n had stepped down as future Tsahik, she was determined to make herself useful by replacing her mate in the war effort until he got better. Neteyam had sworn to Lo'ak that he would have kept y/n safe, but it didn't stop Lo'ak from trying to escape his grandmother's watchful eye so he too could be out on the battlefield with his yawne. Where he belonged.

"Oeya-Lo'ak, you are still recovering." Y/n would complain to him almost every night when she came back to be by his side. Truthfully, she was scared. The second the excuses for making him stay behind ran out, Lo'ak could have gone back to playing a reckless game with his own life. And now, her own life was tied to his. She had gotten hurt fighting the sky people, yes, but nothing could have ever come close to the visceral pain that had ripped through her the day she thought she had lost him forever. Sometimes it made her even too scared to get closer to him, of sharing everything of herself and then suddenly being left behind without ever being able to cope with that loss.

Y/n was on the verge of losing her mind, she was certain because the instinctive need to protect her own heart was more often than not overcome by a different type of need. Y/n had felt low echoes of it when she and Lo'ak had been growing up, whenever he'd wrap his tail around her leg or he'd be standing right behind her, his arms circling hers as he taught her how to shoot an arrow. Now that need was stronger than ever, and she knew what name to give it. Tìnew. Desire.

And she didn't know what to do with it. In fact, she felt ashamed. Lo'ak was still hurt, and all she could think about while she was in the middle of checking on his progress, was wondering what it would be like to run her hands across his body in a different type of way. Her other friends had all already mated, she knew. Y/n wondered sometimes if Lo'ak did not find her beautiful, if he regretted choosing her, but could no longer back out of his decision. He did not seem to want her, in fact, over the following weeks, he seemed to struggle greatly with the feeling of her touch. Something which had never happened before.

Little did she know that Lo'ak was struggling just as much as she was. Y/n's touch burned in such a delicious manner, Lo'ak could not have described it in his own words if he tried. All he knew was it left him starved and aching for more whenever she would eventually have to leave. But he could not initiate anything real while he was still in that state. He could see the sorrow in her eyes every time she'd look at his wounds, and he knew his recklessness had scarred her. And in turn, it had changed him. Eywa as his witness, he no longer wanted to hear y/n scream so viscerally as she had done the night he'd almost died. He needed to be a better person. If not for his sake, then for her own. Y/n was his responsibility now.

Soon he was back on his feet again, and ready to face the rest of the clan. Y/n would now sit amongst his family and Lo'ak was always glued to her side, ready to hiss or growl at anyone who so much as looked at his mate the wrong way. Y/n loved sitting between his legs with his chest to her back, wanting nothing more than to show off her mate to the rest of the clan. She noted that since his recovery, Lo'ak had been less inclined to chat or make jokes like he usually did when they both had to sit through another one of Jake's boring speeches before dinner. It made her sad, since Lo'ak's jokester side was one of the things she loved most about him, but she understood he was going through a lot.

It was on one of these occasions y/n decided to soothe her mate by reaching for his braid, bringing it to rest over her shoulder so she could play with it absentmindedly. Lo'ak realised only after a few minutes that her ministrations were making him purr. Him. Purr. In public. His hands dug into her hips and he hid his face in her neck, trying to keep quiet. "Yawne, you need to stop that... please..." Lo'ak whispered so only she could hear, her hands dangerously close to his queue. Y/n frowned and turned back to look at him. "Did I hurt you?" She asked in concern, reaching out to touch his face. Lo'ak felt his cheeks flare up with heat. He wanted to give her some cocky response, but in truth, he was scared. "No, no. You could never hurt me, y/n... it's more... the opposite." How could anyone want to be with him in that way? To physically bind themselves to him for the rest of their life? Hadn't he taken enough from y/n already?

"The opposite?" She asked, ears bent downwards and still not understanding. "If it makes you feel good, then why would I stop? I like hearing you purr..." Lo'ak tried once again to hide his blush by looking away but to no avail. Y/n's tail wrapped around his own then, preventing him from furiously whacking it against the ground every few seconds, like he always did when he was nervous. "It's just... I—"

All it took was for y/n to look him dead in the eye for her to understand. Eventually she would always see through him. "You wish to mate with me."

A nervous cough overcame Lo'ak as soon as y/n had said those words, making quite a few of their clan members turn towards him and shake their heads in disappointment. Y/n immediately grabbed some water for him to drink.

"Y-yes." He finally managed to say, not sure if he was ever going to recover from such an embarrassing display.

"But... I was certain... you did not desire me. That maybe, you loved me but did not find me beautiful..." Y/n confessed and Lo'ak realized what an absolute skxawng he'd been. The entire time he'd spent feeling sorry for himself and trying to be a better 'version' of himself for y/n, to stop getting in harm's way and taking every aspect of his life more seriously, he'd ended up neglecting his mate. The two of them had probably been the only couple to have waited so long, and he couldn't imagine what kind of reasons y/n had to come up with to explain his 'disinterest'. Clearly, he'd made her feel less than worthy, and it devastated him.

Lo'ak placed one of his hands over y/n's jaw, tilting her face upwards to look at him. "I never, ever want to hear you say that, yawne." He pulled her lower back snugly towards him until she could feel how hard he was for her, making her let out a shaky breath as she turned away from Lo'ak but pressed back against him even more. "Can't you feel how badly I want you? How badly I've always wanted you?" Y/n nodded, trying to look stoically in front of her as if nothing was going on. As if Lo'ak's words weren't making her heart feel like it was going to burst at any minute. As if it would make things any better, y/n reached for one of Lo'ak's hands and held it close to her breastplate, trying to slow her heartbeat down. "Your little heart is beating so fast..." Lo'ak spoke against her braids. "So is yours!" Y/n snapped at him in a low voice, making Lo'ak chuckle. She could feel the beat of his heart against her back.

She wondered if the rest of the clan members could tell what was going on. Y/n didn't want to disrespect Lo'ak's family a second time. But nobody seemed to be taking any notice of them, except the handful of jealous fuckers who eyed y/n whenever they thought he wasn't looking. Lo'ak wondered if they could tell she was shaking in his arms just because of his words. "You don't see the way they look at you? How much they hate me because you're mine?" He asked, placing a hand dangerously close to her inner thigh.

"I don't care about the others. I never have." Y/n sighed leaning back against him.

It was a long wait for everyone else to go to sleep and leave the Tree of Souls empty that night. Sure, they could have gone some place else, considering how worked up the two of them had gotten, but Lo'ak wanted to do things the right way. This was the one thing in his life that he was not going to half-ass or screw up.

Y/n had put him first since the day she'd met him and Lo'ak was going to spend the rest of the night, no, the rest of his life, showing her just how she made him feel every single day.

"You are worrying again..." Y/n noticed, pulling him down to sit next to her. Lo'ak had been overfixating on finding the perfect spot for them to lay down. "I am worried too..." She confessed touching his face. Lo'ak frowned, wrapping his arms around her waist. "We do not need to do this... if you've changed your mind..."

"Kehe! Of course not..." Y/n climbed on top of him, laying across his chest as she kissed him. "I am afraid of losing you... always." Lo'ak really didn't know what to say to those words, because he knew in his heart she was right and he could not argue. He felt exactly the same way about her, but he'd given y/n plenty of reason not to trust he'd stay out of harm's way. "What if... what if I am to carry your child and you don't come back to me? What then?"

The notion of getting y/n pregnant made Lo'ak revert to blushing and scrambling his words, and she blushed as well, realizing she had been somewhat blunt. Lo'ak hardly ever saw her blush and it truly was a sight to behold. "I promise. Eywa as my witness, I will always come back to you, yawne. Always. " As he said those words, Lo'ak didn't even feel like he was himself anymore, but he was certain he meant them.

Y/n brought both of her hands to his face and kissed him again, deeply this time. It was languid and desperate, almost as if she'd been waiting for that promise for a very long time. Lo'ak groaned as she run her tongue over his fangs, pulling away to graze his teeth over her neck and making her gasp. He sat up to get some leverage and asked his mate permission before sinking his teeth into her skin, marking her permanently.

"Lo'ak!" Y/n cried, digging her nails into his back as he lapped up the blood running down her neck. She gave him a sharp bite too, just over his shoulder, in retaliation, making him chuckle. "I'm sorry yawne, let me make it up to you..."

"You better, skxawng!" She huffed, shoving his chest playfully, even if the act of being marked had made the pressure between her legs so unbearable it was beginning to hurt. Lo'ak laughed again and y/n hissed at him meakly, ears drawn back. Why did his laugh also have to... have an effect on her?

"So I'm a skxawng, now?" Lo'ak asked in amusement as he kissed his way down her neck, deciding to get rid of her piece of clothing with his mouth also. It didn't take Y/n long to notice, Lo'ak's hands were no longer on her body, in fact he was leaning against them, only reaching out to touch her if he needed to hold her in place for a few seconds. He was still insecure about them, after all those years, and it would have broken her heart if Lo'ak hadn't been in the middle of making her feel so good. "I thought I was your yawne—"

Y/n got rid of her top piece herself and brought Lo'ak's hands to her breasts. His confidence seemed to leave him then. "You are my yawne. But you are also a skxawng... " She sighed softly through her nose. "I want you to use your hands on me, Lo'ak." Y/n told him, searching for his eyes as one of her hands guided his own over her breast.

"Y-yes. I know... it's just..."

Lo'ak's mind completely blanked the second y/n brought his other hand to her mouth, kissing every single one of his fingers before wrapping her lips around his index and middle finger, sucking around them. She took them as deep in her mouth as she could before pulling away again, enjoying the sight of her flustered mate. "Your hands are beautiful. And they're mine." She whispered, kissing the pad of his thumb. Lo'ak ran his thumb over her bottom lip, and reached back for her queue, bringing it together with his own.

"Nga yawne lu oer, I want to be with you, like this, forever." Lo'ak murmured before making the connection between them. Y/n jolted in his arms, hanging on to his neck for dear life. She'd known the tsaheylu would have felt good, intense even. But she could not have anticipated half of what she was feeling at that moment. Lo'ak's heart was beating so hard, she could feel it in her own chest, battling against her own. And he wanted her... Eywa, he wanted her so bad he could have died from it.

Lo'ak saw inside y/n too, and wasted no time in tugging her forward in a searing kiss. She arched into him and squeezed her thighs around his middle, squirming in his lap as he finally let his inhibitions go. "Want this off--off..." Y/n protested at the sight of his loincloth, rudely tugging at it without much regard for the fact Lo'ak wouldn't have anything to wear the following morning if she destroyed his clothes.

Lo'ak grinned and helped her, finally getting some of his cheeky attitude back. "Who knew my y/n could be so needy—" Her hand on his cock however was enough to make him shut up, well, curse under his breath more like. Y/n meanwhile was completely enthralled with what she was doing, enjoying the feeling of Lo'ak's shaft hardening and leaking under her touch. The fact he was falling apart from it was just an added bonus. "Where were you hiding all this?" She teased and Lo'ak was certain the woman in his arms was going to be the death of him.

"S-shut up..." He whined, struggling to even remember his name when she twisted her wrist and added just the right amount of pressure, making Lo'ak buck up into her hand instinctively. "Shit, y/n, you're being really... d-distracting right now... you need to give me... ah... a break, okay yawne?"

Against every fiber of his being, Lo'ak gently removed her hand. She frowned "Oh? But I like playing with your—"

"Kehe! None of that either..." Lo'ak reprimanded her softly and she giggled. "Let me focus on you, please? I've been waiting for so long..." Y/n nodded, smiling shyly at his words. "Honestly..." Lo'ak mumbled, kissing down the slope of her breasts, having hooked his arms underneath her thighs to hold her higher up. "Only you could get all shy... at something like that... and not about jerking me off..." Y/n loved to listen to Lo'ak talk to her while he drove her crazy with his hands and mouth. The second Lo'ak figured her nipples were particularly sensitive, she was a goner. She mewled and whined as he abused them with his mouth, and tugged harshly on his braids, which only seemed to encourage him further.

Her remaining piece of clothing was completely soaked, and y/n had to resort to rutting herself down against his thigh to get any sort of friction. "Shit..." Lo'ak cursed, realising he'd completely neglected that aspect of things. "Yawne, you're so wet... is this where you need me?" He cooed and Y/n nodded, crying out from the relief of feeling Lo'ak push a single long digit inside of her. She was ready for him, had been for a while, but that didn’t seem to matter because Lo'ak had just discovered how much he loved taking her apart with his fingers. He wanted to eat up every single reaction he could get out of her, hooked on the feeling of her slick running down his skin and the deep purring sounds she'd make if he stroked the most inner walls of her core.

"L-Lo'ak... Lo'ak please... I don't know what's happening..." she sobbed, the coil that had been building in the pit of her stomach was about to snap and it felt so good and so foreign at the same time, y/n didn't know what was about to happen. Lo'ak stilled immediately, afraid he'd been hurting his mate, but then he understood. He didn't know if it was through their bond, or something else, but he just knew. "Just hold on to me, yawne." He asked he to trust him, not faltering his rhythm inside her for a second. "Trust me, I know it's scary, but you're about to feel so good. So, so good... I promise..."

The only thing better than watching his mate come apart was feeling her pleasure radiate through their bond. Lo'ak watched y/n in complete and utter adoration, holding her through the aftermath until her breathing went back to normal. "Lo'ak..."

"What is it, yawne...?"

"Don't make me wait anymore..." Y/n laid herself down on the grass, pulling Lo'ak down to be on top of her. It was so dark now so could perfectly make out all the luminous freckles on his body. He entered her slowly, immediately feeling like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Y/n was slick, warm and impossibly tight around him. It took everything he had not to fuck her senseless right then and there.

Y/n on her part wanted Lo'ak to be as close to her as it was physically possible. She wanted his body to completely cover her own, feel his entire weight bare down on her. "I'm right here, y/n..." He reassured her as he began to move, listening to her soft moans. "I see you."

It didn't take long for y/n to start meeting his thrusts, whining that he go faster. "I don't want you to stop, Lo'ak... you can't—" She had never felt so good in her life, and she begged to Eywa that the morning would never come if this was what the rest of their night was going to be like.

"No, 'm not gonna stop, yawne..." Lo'ak quelled her worries with a kiss, and lifted her hips upwards to hold them in place. The new angle made y/n cry out his name, and Lo'ak held her like that, one arm around her middle and his other hand splayed out across her stomach to keep her still as he fucked her in earnest. The nature of that raw act made her cum again, this time without warning as she clamped down on his cock.

Lo'ak wasn't that far behind her either. "Good. That's my good girl..." He praised, reaching out for her hand as she intertwined their fingers together. "Yawne... y/n I'm going to cum now... " He was about to make himself pull away, since they hadn't really discussed that sort of thing, but y/n locked her legs around his waist. "Inside me..." She whined with a shudder, a little overestimated by that point. That was more than enough to tip Lo'ak over the edge. He groaned, fucking his load inside y/n for what felt like an eternity. He'd never come so much and for so long.

Afterwards he found that he couldn't pull away from his mate. Y/n was particularly adamant that he stay inside of her even while they slept, and it didn’t fail to make Lo'ak grin like an idiot. "Can I at least turn as around so you can sleep more comfortably? I promise you, you can have my dick back in a second..."

She hissed at him, dismounting from him herself. "Only you could ruin a romantic moment like that, skxawng..."

Lo'ak hugged her from behind, kissing the bite mark he'd left on her neck. "So I'm back to being a skxawng? You know I liked the things you were calling me before a lot better..." He teased, doing a very poor impression of her moaning, which made y/n give his tail a sharp tug.

He did the same in retaliation and the ended up in one of their usual play-fights, only this time, Lo'ak didn't eventually shy away from her touch. Once they'd both finally worn each other out, Lo'ak wrapped his arms tightly around y/n as she rested on top of him.

"Y/n..." He whispered, wandering if she was still awake. Luckily she was already fast asleep. "Thank you. For choosing me."

[rxmqnova]

Surprise!

Y/N: 28 years old Scar: 35 years old Rose: 5 years old Story: The Marvel cast decides to surprise Scarlett with a birthday party… ——————————————————

Y/N'S POV My girlfriend and I had been trying for a baby for months. We had many fertility appointments and attempts and it finally happened! I'm pregnant! I found out a week after Scarlett left to film a movie which was 3 months ago. It sucks, cause I want to tell her personally, so she still has no idea. However, she's coming back today and it's also her birthday, so it's a perfect gift. I can't wait to see her reaction! Right now I'm watching a movie in our bed, wearing my favorite Scarlett's hoodie and her sweatpants. I miss her so much, so I tend to steal her clothes when she's away. To be honest I steal her clothes even when she's home…

Rose's spending some time with her grandmother this week, so I'm home all alone, but Lizzie offered to pick her up today, so we'll be together soon. It's nice to have some time for myself, but I miss that little demon so much. She's not biologically mine, but we have such a great relationship. She even calls me 'mama' which melts my heart every time I hear it.

My sister Lizzie spent here the entire week. She's so excited to be an auntie to another little human. I'm surprised she hasn't told Scarlett yet, the two of them are best friends.

I stop my movie as I ran out of chips, ready to go and grab a new bag from the kitchen when I hear some noise from downstairs. It can't be Scarlett, cause she's on the plane right now. She called me a few hours ago from the AirPort… Who in the world would rob a house at 2 in the afternoon?! I quickly open my closet, taking out a bat that I'd hidden here when Scarlett left. I quietly and slowly walk downstairs, ready to punch anyone who's here right now.

My heart is about to skip a beat with every step I make and my hands are shaking like crazy. I step off the last step, putting the bat on my shoulder properly and walking to the kitchen where the noise is coming from.

I see a man standing with his back facing me. I tighten my grip over the bat, ready to hit him in the head.

"What the hell are you doing here?" A man's voice says behind me, making me jump.

I slowly turn around to be met with Robert Downey Junior. The man I was about to hit turns around, looking at me. It's Chris Evans.

Seconds later there is literally the entire Marvel cast, except my sister as she's the one picking Scarlett up from the AirPort. Great…

"What are you doing here?" Chris Evans asks me. "And why the hell are you holding that bat?"

"I-I-" I sutter, getting cut off by Robert.

"She wanted to hit you with it" Robert says. The truth is that even though Scar and I are together for a few years, she hasn't come out yet. Her friends have no idea about me, so that's why they're reacting like this. My sister knows of course, she's the only one from Scarlett's friends.

"I-I'm sorry. I… I-I thought you wanted to rob the house" I finally let out some words. I've never been more scared in my life.

"Us? Who even are you? Oh my god, is that Scarlett's hoodie?" Jeremy looks at me with wide eyes. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

"Y-Yeah. I-I'm Y/N" I say.

"Well, Y/N… What are you doing in Scarlett's house?" Robert asks. "I-I'm living here" I answer. Where's my sister when I need her…

"Yeah, there's no way Scarlett wouldn't tell us if someone was living in her house" Evans says. "Call the police" He orders, looking at Robert. "What? No. That's not necessary. I'm living here" I repeat, I really don't want to get into trouble. I haven't even done anything.

"Yeah. I'm calling" Robert says, already putting his phone to his ear. I sigh, pressing a palm to my forehead. Scarlett's gonna be so mad. I bet the last thing she wants is to deal with her girlfriend being taken to the police station…

"Please don't call the police. Lizzie is my sister" I sigh, looking at Robert with hope, but he only rolls his eyes.

It doesn't take long until the police arrives. I show them my documents like they asked me to and they lead me out of the house. They're really gonna lock me up for getting into my own house?? Great, really great, Y/N…

Just before I can get into the car, a little body crashes into my legs. I smile when I see my daughter looking up at me, her arms wrapped around my thighs.

"Hi" I give her a smile which she returns, mumbling a 'hi, mama' back to me.

"Rose, what are you doing? Come here" Evans says, practically peeling Rosie off of me. The little girl starts crying, immediately calling me to help her, but my hands are in handcuffs and I can talk what I want, but nobody listens to me.

I sigh in relief when I see Lizzie walking out of her car, Scarlett following her.

"Mama!" Rosie cries out, reaching her hands for me. Tears from in my eyes when I see my little one crying and I can't hold her.

"Don't you see she's crying for me?! She's my daughter for god's sake! Take off that stupid handcuffs! I didn't do anything!" I raise my voice, tears running down my cheeks. I'm so tired of this bullshit. I just want my Scarly and Rosie to cuddle and my bag of chips.

"What's going on here? Why are you in handcuffs? Where are you taking her?" Scarlett is finally here, my sister right behind her.

"I'm sorry" I say before breaking into tears. I just can't hold it anymore. Stupid pregnancy mood swings… Scarlett comes to me, telling off the police when they tell her to stay back.

"About what, honey?" She asks, cupping my cheeks with her hands and wiping my tears out with her thumbs.

"You must be so tired and you come home to see this" I cry out. "Hey, it's okay, Y/N/N" She smiles. "Tell me what happened"

"Your friends thought I was a theif and a stalker and god knows what and they called the police on me" I explain, tears still running down my cheeks even though Scarlett's wiping them out.

"Y/N/N, I'm so sorry" She sighs. "She's not a theif or a stalker. Y/N is my girlfriend, she lives here" Scar says to the police. They finally take off the painful handcuffs and I wrap my arms around Scarlett's neck.

"Mama" Rosie cries out again. I smile, taking her from Evan's arms.

"It's okay now, baby. I'm not going anywhere" I kiss her cheek a few times, walking back to Scarlett who wraps her arms both of us.

"I missed you" Scar says into my ear while we're hugging.

"I missed you too, so much" I tell her back honestly before we pull away and in a second I get pulled into another hug by my sister. "Are you okay?" She asks with a smile.

"Yeah. All good now" I smile and hug her again.

"Can someone explain to us what's happening?" Downey asks confused.

"You called the police on my little sister, that's happening" Lizzie says annoyed. She's very overprotective over me. I usually hate it, but today it feels nice.

"That's your sister?" Evans asks surprised, pointing at me.

"Don't be so surprised, I told you I was Lizzie's sister when you were calling the police" I give him a glare. I won't forget this that quickly.

"I literally told you about her last week" Lizzie sighs.

"Why is she living in Scarlett's house though?" Jeremy asks.

"Because Y/N is my girlfriend. You could have just called me and I'd tell you it's fine" Scar sighs. "Let's just go inside"

We all move inside, everybody apologizing to me and Downey immediately handing us a glass of champagne since it's Scar's birthday.

"I won't, thanks" I tell him on which my girlfriend furrows her brows, wrapping her arms around me from behind and resting her head on my shoulder.

"You're not my Y/N. My Y/N never says no to alcohol" Scar jokes, making me chuckle.

"Well… I wouldn't say no if I didn't have to but… I can't drink for a while" I smile, turning around in her arms and getting met with a confused look from my girlfriend. I take her hand, putting it on my stomach on which she seems to realize.

"No… You're… you're pregnant?" She asks, her eyes filling with tears. I smile, nodding my head.

"I found out a week after you left. We're having a baby" I almost whisper as tears are in my eyes too by now. "Happy birthday, my love" I smile and she pulls me into a kiss.

Scarlett drags me on the couch, pushing me gently to sit down. She kneels in front of me, pulling my (her) hoodie up. I laugh when she starts spreading kisses all over my stomach.

"Hey there, little one. It's your mommy. I love you so much" She mumbles between kisses. "So we're 3 months far?" She asks, smiling at me.

"3 months" I smile back, twirling my finger around Scar's hair. She rolls my hoodie back down, sitting next to me and wrapping her arm around me on which I cuddle up to her and she rubs my stomach with her free hand. "I love you so much"

"I love you too" She smiles, pressing a kiss to my forehead. --------------------

Scarlett Johansson masterlist

Masterlist

[blingblong55]

Hoax- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Based on a request

May I request another angst of Fem!Reader x König/Soap/Ghost (whoever you prefer actually) whereby; Prompt: 1. They’ve both are in a relationship but broke off to work on themselves, along the way, they decided to get back together and work through the issues. 2. Without reader realising, her partner was getting to know other people (sort of being stringing along). Until she found out from someone else. (She’s sort of being the “other woman”) 3. Despite the knowledge, reader still holding on to the ‘relationship’ since their partner has been giving false hope that they will chose reader (sadly reader’s being left behind for another). I hope the request is okay? Please feel free to ignore n delete this, if its not up to your liking 🫶🏻🫶🏻 tqsm!

F!Reader, angst, cheating, civilian!reader, the other woman vibes.

Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in

It all started when he sat you down on the living room sofa. "We are drifting apart, my love." Tears formed in your eyes, lips quivering as he held your hand. "It's time we grow and move on and if we are truly meant for the other, then we'll come back to the other." His words are like a dagger to your heart. He kissed your cheek and walked out of your home. A place you only called home when it was with him.

One night, as you walked the streets of Manchester, you and him stumbled upon each other. His face lit up, a glimmer of hope in you. "R/N, hi...um.." he never expected the woman he loved and missed, especially after he got home from his worst missions. And that's how you and him got back together. It was hard to move on and start over, but it was paradise for how it felt. He was sunshine once more, it was slow for him to bring back the light he took.

Now, it's been 5 months since you got back together. Everything is going great, the dates and the nights you spend together are more than incredible. Until one night, when he got back home after a night out with the men of his task force, his teammate and now closest friend, Soap was the one who broke the news to you. Regret on his face when he asked you to talk outside. Simon was drunk, sleeping in the room you two had made promises in. Meaningful promises. One's you took with great seriousness. And unfortunately, he didn't.

Soap tried to break it to you easily, he knows the love story between you and his friend. That's why it was so hard to just say the words. He sighed and looked at you, "...this will hurt, bonnie. And I hate to be the one who tells you but he isn't...loyal..not one bit." You look at him and blink a few times. "What do you mean?" you knew exactly what he meant, but, it's better to hear it. "He is seeing this other girl, and I am in no position to comment on a lady but she is no beauty like you, bonnie."

He looks at you, the heartbreak you are feeling showing in your delicate face. "She thinks he is loyal to her, They started to date two weeks before you and he went back to dating...I'm sorry, I really am and I hate to be the one who tells you this," he pauses and takes your hands in his. "If that girl knows you exist, she'll think you are the other woman, not the other way around." Tears run down your face. "So, this whole time, when he was out for missions-"

"We've had only 1 mission since you came back into his life, all others are fake. Just so he can be with her for longer."

"Soap-"

"Johnny, I'm Johnny, bonnie"

"Johnny, why...why did you decide to tell me this?"

"I'm a man, his best friend, but I have sisters, a mother and a lass for myself. No woman deserves this, you are an amazing girl, R/N. You deserve the best in life, to not be hidden from the world. I told my lass about this and she agreed I should be the one to break this to you."

He looks at you, wanting to know what you'll do about this. Your eyes are a blur as more tears run down. Soap's girlfriend was in the car as she too cried for you. She couldn't tell you, afraid she'd do or say something to infuriate you or worse let Simon hear the conversation. When you have no other words, Soap leaned in, kissed your cheek and wiped your tears away. "Goodnight, bonnie." he walks away and soon drives off. You sit on the stairs of the house, no longer a home. Cries turn into sobs. The moon is the witness to such heartbreak.

The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed and a sticky note to your bedside. "Out for training," the lie says.

The entire day, you contemplated, should you speak on the matter? If you don't do crazy and rather stupid things for love, are you really in love? The question pondered all day and evening. Maybe he isn't the man you set yourself for, but my gods did you hope it was him who you were meant for. You had gone to war with yourself just for him because that is how much stupid stuff love makes you do. You love him but that same love is killing you.

He came home, tired as usual. Went straight to go shower, if a man his size and age was smart enough for wars then he would be smart to leave her scent out of your house. Disrespect is what most call it, to have the man you love not even clean himself before entering the place his lies live in. What is the stupidest choice you made that night? To stay, to continue to live in lies and in ruins.

He sat on the sofa, watching some shit show as he ate the dinner he prepared for himself. You sat on the other corner until he carried you back to his spot and sat you on his lap. Does he do this with her?

Does she cancel plans just in case he calls? Does he tell her he loves her and that one day they'll marry? Worst to think he loved you.

Like all the books you've read, they all have some plot twist and what a plot twist he is. You'd steal the stars for him, make the poets jealous from the many sonnets you create when you think of him.

Did he ever get drunk and have karaoke nights with her? Do they have their own group of friends? Does she love him like you do? Does she kill herself over and over for just one glance, one kiss or one touch?

The kisses he planted on your neck or face, gave you reasons to stay and believe in his lies. You sleep in a bed and cover your body with lies. "I love you, R/N" he whispers as he holds you close. Out of all his lies, "I love you." was your favourite.

[theyrealllesbians]

Wedding Season- Chapter 2

James swung the front door open and called out. "Hello!"

Euphemia, his mum, came running from the kitchen. "Jamie, darling. It's so good to see you, it's been too long."

"Mum, it's literally only been a week. I also spoke to you on the phone on Wednesday." He laughed.

"Oh well that's far too long." Euphemia grabbed at his face and brought his forehead down to rest against hers momentarily before pulling back and kissing his cheek. James pretended to ignore the way that she had to go on her tip-toes to reach him, deciding to save the 'you'll always be my baby' lecture until it actually mattered. "Where are Sirius and Remus, I thought that they were coming with you?" She asked, turning towards the kitchen whilst wiping her hands on an apron James recognised from his childhood.

"They couldn't make it. They have some wedding stuff they desperately wanted to get done tonight. Booking vendors or cake tasting or flowers or something like that. Honestly, I can't remember." James had begun to tune Sirius out whenever he spoke about the wedding. It was a never ending rant about carnations and vanilla sponge, burlap or silk, fairy lights or lamps, martinis or an old fashioned and quite frankly, James could not listen to one more second. Besides, Sirius had a way of making every decision seem like a life or death situation. As a result, James would often than not end up getting yelled at when he chose the 'wrong' shade of white for the chairs. He loved Sirius more than anything, but in order to stay friends with him, James had made the executive decision to step back from all wedding decisions. Besides, Remus and the wedding planner told him everything he needed to know as part of being the best man. So he really wasn't missing much. It's not that he didn't expect Sirius to go full on bridezilla, because he did. It's just that he didn't quite realise how many little decisions went into planning a wedding. Since 'helping' Sirius and Remus, James has decided that when he gets married, it'll be a small affair. Probably in his parent's garden, with food that he and his mum cooked, flowers picked from his own garden and outfits that they'd both wear for anniversary dates time and time again. He wanted to be able to remember the love, not the little stressors that -at the time- would seem to derail the entire day.

"Oh, I remember those days. So exciting, but unbelievably stressful, be sure to send them my love. And I'll send you home with some bits and bobs to give them." By 'bits and bobs' James knew he'd be leaving with at least a months worth of food. He'd be playing tetris with his freezer tonight, he would never dare complain though, his mum's food was the best he'd ever tasted. Besides, he would never pass up the opportunity to not have to cook after a long day at work. Sirius and Remus would be endlessly grateful as well.

"I will do. Sirius is desperate to see you, so I'm sure he'll be here next week." James let his mum know.

"Oh well you know he doesn't have to wait till a Sunday to come see me. Even if he just wanted to pop in for lunch, I'd love to have him."

"I know, and he does as well. I think it's just slipped his mind because of how busy he is. I'll remind him though." Sirius had a habit of this, withdrawing whenever life got busy. He'd prioritise his work and keeping the house clean, often forgetting that he could also make time to decompress and see the people he loved. Luckily it only took James or Remus forcing him to leave his office for him to get back into a normal routine in which he wasn't being stretched unbelievably thin or being wound incredibly tight. James could never quite tell if it was some form of trauma response, or whether it was just the way that Sirius was wired. Either way, he's gotten better compared to when they were at school. During A-levels, James doesn't think Sirius left their dorm for anything other than food for at least 2 weeks. Despite the fact that at least 50% of the time, if someone checked on him, he wasn't actually doing any revision. James didn't really understand it. He pulled out his phone and added 'call Moony/ drag Pads out the house' onto his ever growing to do list.

"What can I help with?" James asked, rolling his sleeves up while walking over to the sink to start washing his hands.

"Oh, there's nothing really." His mum responded whilst opening the 5th can of what looked like crushed tomatoes. James looked around and spotted 3 pack of unopened whole chickens, a pile of uncut vegetables and several pots on the hob that were dangerously close to boiling over.

"Mum, stop lying. How about I break down the chicken?" He knew his mum didn't really like cutting the chicken. As she grew older, it just got harder and harder for her to break the bones and separate the breast from the thighs. He grabbed a knife and a chopping board from their respective drawers before she could even answer.

"Oh well, if you don't mind." His mum shrugged before turning round to face him and quickly rattling off a series of instructions. "Make sure you get as much meat of the bones as possible, I won't stand to see it wasted. But keep the bones in the thighs, you know it's your father's favourite bit. Oh, and don't throw away the wish bone. We can break it after dinner. Then I need the breast diced and adding to the pot at the back. The dark meat is going in a new pot. Everything else can get turned into stock. Oh, and be careful! Don't cut yourself!"

James huffed out a laugh, "I'm 26, I think I'll be fine."

"Oh, you never know. They're pesky little things, let me know if you need any help." James turned around to face the chopping board before rolling his eyes. Yes, he was 26, a full grown adult who was no longer living with his parents, but he would not be caught rolling his eyes at his mother. It was a death sentence.

"Will do. Anyways, how've you been?" James asked, unwrapping the first chicken.

"Oh, you know, same old, same old." His mum always said this right before delving into some local drama that was in fact not 'same old, same old'. "Your dad has been driving me mad asking what shade of red roses I want in the garden. And I just quite frankly, do not care. They will look lovely no matter what. Oh, but did I tell you about what happened with the Wilson's?" Here we go.

"No, I don't think you did. Are they the ones with the ginger cat?" James swears that cat should've died years ago. He remembers it from when he was a child. Remembers the way it would try and bite at his ankles any time he walked past.

"Yes, wretched thing. Anyways, apparently Richard tried to murder Margaret last week."

"What?!" James exclaimed, turning around to face his mum. She didn't move.

"Yeah, Judith got a call from him on, when was it, Tuesday I think. Or maybe Wednesday. And she came round and told me straight away. Apparently, Richard had gotten himself in a panic over the online banking as Margaret doesn't know any of the passwords and he tried to smother her with a pillow. The police came round and had to take both mine and your father's statements, even though your dad knew nothing of what was going on. They took him straight to a special care home and are talking about court dates. Bless them though, you never would have guessed it would you."

"No, I suppose not. He always seemed pretty decent. Always gave me the football back after I kicked it in their garden."

"Exactly, and that's what I said to the police. Never would think of him to even hurt a fly. I mean the amount of eggs I have borrowed from him, you'd think he'd want me dead. But no, he always said yes as long as I brought him round a slice of cake I baked, and you know I always did." James let his mother's voice carry him into a slower motion, letting his shoulders drop and jaw relax more than it had in the past week. Something about the smell of his parent's fabric softener and the spices slowly cooking drifted him into a dream like state. One where his own bones grew warm and his skin infinitely softer. He wished he could bottle this feeling and get drunk on it every night.

"James!" His mother yelled, smashing his peace into a thousand splintering pieces.

"What? What's happened?" He span around, eyes trailing over everything trying desperately to spot the danger.

"Nothing." He let out a sigh. "I was asking how you're week had been?"

"Oh, yeah it's been fine. Busy though. I've been working with this little girl, about 7, helping her walk again. She's making really good progress, but she's absolutely terrified. She had this pin through her foot diagonally, and her mum says she accidentally put her foot down quite a bit when she still had it in. Didn't hurt her much, but must've been a weird, uncomfortable sensation. I mean I got the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. But yeah, it's been really nice seeing her get excited about walking again. Beats having to convince all the 17 year old lads that they won't actually be 'just fine' if they play for their club on Saturday." It's not like he had favourites, but it was easy to say that those who would greet him with a hug and tell him all about their teddies made his day just that bit brighter. James truly loved his job, he had to. If he didn't love it, he wouldn't be able to do it. He never intended to be a paediatric physiotherapist, he always wanted to go into rugby professionally. Ironically, it was Lily who was able to talk him into reconsidering his options, albeit not in the most conventional ways. She had said that he was 'too clever to let his brain get all mangled up, and that he was too much of a good person to let himself pick such a selfish career path filled with egotistical twats'. After a while, he did realise that he wanted to have a secure career and feel like he was making a difference in the world. He couldn't give up sport entirely though. So, during the week, he works for the NHS and in the evenings and at select weekends, he's the physio for the local rugby club. Seeing some of the injuries those players got helped him gain confidence in his decision very quickly.

"That's lovely, darling. Horrible thing for such a young child to go through, but I'm happy she's got the best helping her." His mum winked at him as she said that.

"I mean, it's not as bad as it sounds. She had corrective surgery, but it's meant that she hasn't been able to walk in around 9 months. So I reckon it'll take a while, but she's sweet and her parents are lovely, so I'm happy to spend as long as it takes helping."

"I'm sure that you are, love. You have always been so keen to help others. It is one of your better qualities." His mum grinned at him, suppressing a laugh.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked, adding the chicken to each respective pot.

"We both remember how many phone calls I used to get from Minnie?" His mum says Minnie as, to James and Sirius's horror, she'd ended up becoming quite good friends with McGonagall. In fact, they try to meet up every month for tea and a catch up since they've all finished school.

"That's so not fair. I'm an adult now. I've grown up." James drew out the last syllable, quickly defeating his own argument by sounding like a whiny toddler.

"Yes, yes, of course you have, babu." His mum smiled at him again as she continued to tend to the food cooking. "Did you get the invite for Priya's wedding?" Priya was James's cousin on his mum's side. He actually quite liked her when they were growing up. She was only a year older than him so they formed a little alliance along with his other cousins of a similar age.

"Yeah, yeah I did. I think I got it a couple months ago." James had added it to the shrine of wedding invites adorning his fridge. "Yeah, it's at the end of August right?"

"The 31st, yes. Remember, a lot of family that we haven't seen in ages is flying over, so you better be on your best behaviour." His mum fixed him with a firm stare.

"Again, I am 26." He knew this would have little to no effect on his mum's conviction that somehow he'd become the family laughing stock in one singular evening.

"Okay. Still, make sure that you are letting everyone see how happy and successful you are. You know that I only want you to be happy, but my sisters aren't as forward thinking as me so be sure to mention that you are top of your field."

"Well that's a lie." James replied outright, furrowing his brows in confusion whilst laughing to himself. He'd only been in the field for 3 years, so he wasn't sure what his mum was on about.

"You've got the best reviews in your hospital." His mum replied matter-of-factly, as if they were at all comparable.

"Okay, yes, sure. I'll be sure to tell them about my career so that you can have bragging rights." He chuckled as he said this.

"James! Take this seriously!" His mum started waving the spoon she had in her hand in his direction. James was forced to take a step back to save his freshly ironed shirt from being stained.

"Yes, James, take it seriously!" His father added, walking into the kitchen while shaking his finger in a comedic manner. "You know how important it is for your mother to brag to others about our family. You can't let her down by underselling your achievements." His dad had a cheeky smile dancing across his lips showing that he didn't take it seriously either, but Fleamont Potter would never be caught, even in death, not having his wife's back.

"Oh, if you can, be sure to mention that Remus has just opened his own business and that Sirius wrote and directed the christmas nativity!"

"Will do." James and his dad reply in unison.

"Oh, and James? Are you bringing a date?" silver eyes flashed through James's mind, "I only ask because everyone has been asking me if you've met anyone!"

"I wasn't planning on it." James shrugged, trying his best to act nonchalant.

"You might want to rethink that kid. You know how your mother's family can be once they sense a bit of drama." James shuddered a little at the thought of answering a hundred questions about his love life after he'd drank a couple glasses of wine.

"Oh, come off it. My family is not like that. They all just care about James's happiness, that's all. Don't make it out to be something cruel." His mum sniped back. His dad only looked at James again, a long pointed look.

"I'll think about it." James said. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to find a date, if only for a couple weddings.

"Oh! Does that mean you already have someone in mind?" His mum swung her head round so she could look at James. Walking forward to grip his forearms.

"Mum!" He exclaimed, "I just said that I would think about it!" The feeling of fluffy black hair beneath his fingertips shot down his spine.

"Oh! You're blushing! There is someone!" His mum was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Mum…" James groaned, hanging his head.

"Euphie, leave him alone. If the boy says there's no one, there's no one. We have to believe what he tells us, otherwise we'll go insane." His dad placed a hand on his mum's shoulder and steered her away from James.

"Thanks. I guess?" James smiled at his dad. His dad simply grinned and winked right back. Great, so his dad did not believe what he was saying either, and his mum was clearly already planning his wedding.

Brilliant.

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

Okay, so I can’t believe I’m writing this, the Maribat/Daminette fandom has me by the throat so, here we are

There are a lot of fics where Damian comes to Paris and they click and he gets the Black cat miraculous for various reasons, and also a lot where Marinette goes to Gotham with generally the same outcomes, but what about a fic where Damian and his class go on a trip to Paris before Hawkmoth first attacks.

Like, he’s 13 and forced into this trip because the fam wants him to experience more than just being a vigilante and he hates it. His school has a program with Marinette’s, so at the beginning of the year they pack up and plan to spend two weeks in Paris.

This trip just so happens to coincide with when Master Fu is looking for his new Ladybug and Black Cat (y’all see where I’m going with this?)

In this Au, Adrien makes it to the school sooner and misses Master Fu because he’s testing Marinette. Adrien still gets to go to school, because he deserves happiness, but he’s able to get there the first day, and so avoids the whole gum thing that make Marinette hate him, but also sees what Chloe does to Marinette which really changes his initial perspective of school. He would definitely be a temp hero later, but he gets to enjoy being a normal rebellious teen.

Anyway, so Adrien Misses Fu, so who’s going to be the Cat? Well, Damian’s school pulls up at the same time Adrien would have.

The class stops to do a head count and give the general speech of why they’re there in front of the school and Damian’s planning on slipping away because he’s 13 and thinks this is all a waste of his time. He thinks that if he can make it back to the hotel without anyone noticing he’ll be able to make an argument that they forgot him and that he should be allowed to go home (can you see where I’m taking my inspiration from?). Unfortunately for him, Fu sees this and does his test (the fall). All his classmates don’t do anything because they’re from Gotham and are suspicious of everything (and also it’s Paris and they don’t want to be scammed) and the teachers don’t notice. Damian, however, does notice. He considers leaving anyway because it’s not his problem, but he’s been Robin for almost 3 or 4 years at this point and, contrary to what some people might say, has grown a lot. He would feel guilty and maybe even a little unworthy of Robin if he didn’t stop for 2 seconds to help this old man up.

It goes quite similarly to how it did with Adrien, he helps Fu up, but gets caught and can no longer run away from the class.

Basically, this au is a “what if Damian was The Black Cat from the start?”

I have a lot more ideas, but here’s just a few:

Damian isn’t Chat Noir, but I haven’t looked up any cat related names that he could be yet.

As the cat, Damian acts a lot more fun than he normally would allow himself. He’s not Chat Noir level, but this is the first time in his life where literally no one knows who he is and is monitoring his behavior, nor does he have anyone’s expectations on him for who he should be.

He’s initially annoyed with Ladybug, because she’s so clearly untrained, unconfident, and unprepared, but then she comes up with the plan that shows what she could be capable of, and the speech and he might have a crush, but brushes it off as grudgingly respecting her

He 100% plans on training her and their partnership is more equal than what the show portrays it as, because one of my main problems with the actual show is that chat noir, despite being her partner is often shoved aside and given the sidekick role

Damian doesn’t tell his family what’s happening. As far as they’re aware, Paris is fine. Normally he would have, but he had no time until after the fight and he really enjoyed being the cat that he’s like “I’ll tell them later” which keeps being pushed back.

At the end of the trip he somehow talks his family into letting him actually transfer to Paris so he can stay as the cat

He is baffled that this works, but they are all so happy that he’s taking an interest in something other than Robin and Superheroing that they jump on letting him before realizing that it means he’s gonna be in Paris for months.

Dick is sad about this later, so is Bruce and Alfred and the others, but he’s the most vocal about it.

Damian is also baffled that they haven’t figured out what’s going on by now and as everyday passes he gets more and more annoyed by the fact that his so called family of detectives have realized that he’s decided if they can’t figure it out, he’s not telling them.

He has not figured out that magic is preventing knowledge of this from leaving Paris and even if it didn’t, Magic is protecting his identity.

He acts annoyed by Plagg, but he actually loves him so much

His cat outfit is still fun with the ears and tail, but it’s a lot more elaborate and has a utility belt and a lot of hidden things

In fact, because it’s so elaborate, Marinette’s boring suit only stays for the first time she transforms. Once the fight finishes her little fashion designer brain can’t stop thinking about it and comes up with a new design after consulting Tikki.

Of course, she only has the idea of the costume down, because by the time they finalize it, she sees the news and has her depression moment, so the first time she wears it is when she saves Alya.

Due to this first change, her outfit would constantly be changing throughout her time as Ladybug, as she learns more about fighting and what she’s comfortable with, as well as what’s actually possible with magic and the miraculous.

By the end of the year her firs are going to be crazy (wait till she finds out she can change her actual eyes (both color and the pupils and-) hair colors and length)

She will eventually bully Damian into making some changes but he’s generally happy with the first design.

They also know each others identities a lot sooner because Damian actually knows the benefits and his cold logic is able to cut through a lot of her anxiety.

It still doesn’t happen until at least the second season tho.

Y’all I have so much more, but this is getting long and I’ve got things to do so tell me if u want more or feel free to add your own ideas!!!

[spamsmcgee]

Hey. Could I request Zhou dating a paramedic student. Anything you can come up at for that please. Only when you get some free time though 😊🫶🏻

Thank you thank you, first request! Anon you hold a special place in my heart. 💕

I went ahead with a paramedic candidate, I have a second idea for this as well, so it may end up being a two for the price of one type thing, stand by.

I apologize for the hold Chicago Fire has on me.

Fc: Hanako Greensmith, who plays Violet in Chicago Fire, please watch it. 😐

Also, Chicago gp early in the season instead of the Vegas gp later, using the Chicago street track.

ynbaybee • Private account

Liked by lilymhe, zhouguanyu24 and others

Ynbaybee Shout out to the man’s for the shots 🫡🫡

Tagged: zhouguanyu24

yourbestieee I tried for three years. A man did it in a week.

zhouguanyu24 I work fast

yourbestieee not fast enough mr. barely p10

ynbaybee That’s too far yourbestieee

lilymhe So been looking forward to catching up 😭😭

ynbaybee Me too bb. You still in town?

zhouguanyu24 🤌🤌

ynbaybee You have such a way with words

Tuesday Morning rolled around. A hectic shift change later and you were on the road back to your apartment. Your PIC’s voice steady through your speakers, detailing every high and low in your performance throughout the past 24 hours.

“Really, you did great,” she said, her soft voice full of the kind of confidence you could draw from.

“Thanks Burkhart,” You said, focused a little more on pulling in to your parking spot, right next to a dark green Aston Martin.

A sore thumb next to your cute little baby blue Hyundai.

The two of you said your goodbyes before hanging up and leaving you to hurry on into your apartment.

“Zhou”

“L/N”

Guanyu had made himself at home, a still warm breakfast on the stove and coffee brewing. It filled your home with a kind of sweet and comfy scent that you would miss once Guanyu hit the road again.

“I have a flight at four tomorrow morning,” he organized two plates as he spoke. Low, but energized. “I wanted to spend some more time with you before I left.”

The two of you settled in to your couch, tucked off into a corner adjacent to your TV, ready with Netflix pulled up.

zhouguanyu24

Liked by pierregasly, ynbaybee and others

zhouguanyu24 points in Chicago, off to Barcelona 🙏🙏

ynbaybee gg brah

zhouguanyu24 you got to watch??

ynbaybee life it uhhh finds a way

f1fannn Zhou soft launch???

Liked by ynbaybee

formulawhat Ayo????

valtteribotas When are you bringing her to a race?

ynbaybee Once I’m not a probie anymore I’m making time 🫡🫡

You woke up with Guanyu, 2:30 in the morning. Too early for breakfast, plenty early for a Redbull.

“I love you, but next time maybe don’t.”

Guanyu rolled his eyes, ever the morning person to your slow moving night owl.

His hand found your waist as the two of you left the apartment, checking pockets for his belongings. You ran through his checklist again before waving your hand for him to get moving again.

The drive to the airport was quiet. While you could never fall asleep too easy in a car, it was still too early to be too talkative. You shifted your attention from the road ahead, to Guanyu. One hand in yours, the other steering.

He stayed just as quiet, not taking his eyes off of the road. Even after full minutes passed I’d you staring as him.

You held his hand in both of yours, running your thumb along his wrist.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, shooting you a glance.

“Next shift we’re having a meeting to determine wether or not I’m staying at the firehouse,” you said, “I’m pretty confident, but still nervous.”

Guanyu had pulled into a parking spot, next to where his team had just arrived moments earlier. He pulled your hands into his.

“They love you,” he squeezed your hands, “Chief Gonzales wouldn’t let you go if he wanted to.”

“Sometimes I think they like you more.”

“They like anyone who will feed them”

The two of you had drifted closer together, everything outside of the car drifted further away. Your hand found itself rested on his cheek, his on your arm.

“I love you,” his voice barely hit a whisper before his lips were on yours. The kind of soft, tame kiss that would never hold you over until his next visit, but it would have to do.

The next kiss just a quick peck, followed by an exchange of “good luck” and Guanyu jumping out of the car and running to catch up with his team. Leaving you alone to make your way back to your apartment. Hopefully to recover some sleep.

zhouguanyu24

Liked by ynbaybee, chicagofirehouse83 and others

zhouguanyu24 my love made it out of her probationary period, definitely Chicago’s finest. 😌😌

formulawhat A Y O??

f1fann Zhou can you fight?

ynbaybee I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am.

fyrefyghter Always knew you were what’s missing zhouguanyu24

zhouguanyu24 what do you want me to bring next time?

fyrefyghter Just your handsome self 🫡

ynbaybee Cruz. Don’t make me get the hose

logansargeant We love our first responders

ynbaybee of course we do. Yee yee lookin

logansargeant cmon I’m being nice

lilymhe For once.

valtteribotas Time for you to start on making that race

ynbaybee Yessir 🫡

[gutfaced]

re: chaffnathy before marriage

i get to be annoying about these guys! i do and i am about to be. here's some headcanons about them from a while ago id you're interested in that, too. @thefloatingwriter @solar-halos because you wanted to know more, hi!!

mentions of trafficking, suicide attempts, internalized homophobia, that sort of stuff under the cut.

i do maintain that these two are very much in love with each other, but there's some slowburn before they get to all of that.

timeline goes post-50th; a 16 year old haymitch & 23 year old chaff (having won the 45th games 5 years prior at 17.) through my fic never as good as the first time, i stick to the idea that they meet during hay's victory tour. the appeal is, haymitch's the underdog winner of a quarter quell. he showed potential where all tributes of 12 had failed prior. his family are then suddenly killed 2 weeks after his win, and the blame falls on the unrest in 12 with mining strikes and dissatisfaction from the population. the mayor of 12, his wife and daughter (haymitch's girlfriend in my headcanon) are all killed unfortunately in a train derailment, which is equally blamed on rebels attempting to sabotage travel between the capitol to the districts. the poor kid needs a break, and chaff sees a friend in him despite the grieving and stagnant anger from him. and so he spends haymitch's first official year mentoring trying to coach him on what to do, and everything seems like it'll work out until the kids die.

and so, it's a constant loop of the same thing. chaff watches his friend have hope only for it to be crushed brutally. every year. and 11's not doing so great, but it's nothing compared to the state of 12. and haymitch is mentoring alone constantly, so it's always a losing battle.

for chaff, he starts drinking into his late 30s, and haymitch his early 30s. worse, there's a little bit of endorsement of drinking to numb the trauma of flashbacks and the loss of their tributes on chaff's side, which he comes to regret, because haymitch is stuck in a slow, tormenting spiral. he's having to go out on a limb to try and pool sponsors for his kids who do show promise — with the only worthy thing he has being his body. and then watching miserably, as his attempts are for naught because the kids die anyway. he has to deal with the families and the funerals, like i always say, and the shunning from people he knows because he's so ill, he's become now so shut-out and solitary. living is difficult between the games and life back home, because haymitch doesn't have anyone, or anything with the exception of chaff.

and with that, it forms a relationship that isn't just keeping each other company with drinks and all. it's spending time in each other's houses, hotel rooms, getting underneath each other's skin. chaff maintains a cheery disposition because the drinks are good and the memories are fading, and while there's a pounding agony in his stump, he has someone to share a lifeboat with. a sort of friendship which he's needed for the longest. and then he's having to save this friend from himself, really — if not choking on his on vomit in his sleep, or bleeding out on his own floorboards back home, or in his bath, then he's completely unreachable mostly. he lives so far apart from himself and chaff wants to be the tether back to reality. and when that starts becoming less like a friendship and more like a love, some deeper bond, it's hard to handle.

because maybe he expected himself to be married to the woman of his dreams, with a few children and a bright, copse-surrounded home and all the finances they need to live in serenity minus the threat of the reaping. and instead, his utmost feelings are being bought out by the solace of a man, who's his missing hand, his safety net, his whole life. and that's not right, is it? it's not an ideal life to see this person who you believe is your best friend, and imagine that he is who you'll marry, he is who you'll live with. you're a fighter, a soldier of circumstance made to be the protector of someone more vulnerable than yourself. and you think that's supposed to be a woman, in that old traditional way.

but it isn't. and he wants to live with haymitch, and vice versa. their ideal life is each other because they are all they have, and that having has turned into a permanent want. through knowing each other, they've become sworn to this soul tie that is so mangled with blood, misery and aching. but they can heal that rope's splinter the same way they always have. with each other.