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#he comes across as quite vulnerable here
jessieren · 9 months
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Hasn’t seen this interview before… interesting how he talks about the role not being comfortable for him. He always seems a little uncertain and unsure of himself - maybe that’s what makes him such a great actor, the continual need to grow and learn and create
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dimensionzero · 1 year
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more atsv things that haunt me: pav doesn't originally have a watch.
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mostly-imagines · 5 months
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So This Is Love
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you show each other what love is supposed to be like
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: section 1: close-call panic attack for j, mentions of ptsd for j // section 2: implied sexual activity // section 3: mild angst w comfort // section 4: implied ptsd for j
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He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.
The nightmare wasn’t anything unusual for him, but it did feel particularly vivid tonight. It was more of a memory than anything, though. That same one that plays on a loop in his head throughout the night the more he tries to push it away during the day. It was the last thwack of the crowbar that had him jolt awake in bed.
You shift in your spot next to him, opening your eyes to see his rattled state. If he’d been in a clearer frame of mind he would’ve lied to you. He would’ve expertly leveled his breathing and told you everything was fine and to go back to sleep.
But instead, he looks over at you with wide eyes, chest heaving and shaking like he might start hyperventilating at any moment.
You shoot up from the bed, instantly on alert. This isn’t the first time he’s had one of these nightmares around you, so it’s not hard for you to guess where this is coming from.
“Jay? What’s—what do you need?” You know better than to try and touch him unprompted right now, you’ve panicked enough yourself to know that sudden contact only makes it worse.
“I—I can’t, I—” Now he really looks like he’s about to lose all control of his breathing.
You sit up further, moving onto your knees. “Here, let me—can I see your hand?” you ask gently, holding your own out.
He extends it to you without question, a tiny act of vulnerability that he couldn’t have dreamed of doing in this state before he met you.
You flip his hand over, palm-up and start tracing lines over it in the moonlight. You’re looking at his hand quite intently like there’s something very important on it. It’s enough to make him question what the hell you’re doing. 
“I can read palms.” You tell him, simply. 
“What?” His voice almost breaks, like he’s right at the edge of tears. 
“Yeah, my friend taught me. I can tell the future and everything.” You look up at him, fingers not stopping their trailing. “Do you wanna hear yours?”
All he can do is nod.
You smile and start to inspect his hand carefully, tracing over calluses and a few tiny scars. You draw your finger across the short, deep line parallel to his fingers.
“This one…see the way it curves upwards right there?” He nods. “That means you’re very resourceful and ambitious. Like a leader.” His breathing starts to slow as he watches you, trying to focus on what you’re showing him in the dim light from the window.
“And this one,” you trace the line that curves downwards in the middle, “This one says that you’re strong and stubborn, which I can confirm,” he huffs out a laugh. It’s little but it’s genuine. “But it also means that you’re resilient. You’re built to overcome things and bounce back even stronger because of them. Which I can also confirm.”
He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He takes in a deep breath, watching you draw patterns across the base of his palm.
The sensation soothes him in a way that he frankly didn’t know he could be soothed. He figures he usually can’t, except when it’s you. He tries to match your breathing, syncing up with you. If anyone else tried to get this close to him when he was on the verge of a panic attack they’d get punched, at best.
But you…you always know how to help him. He’s considered in the past that he did something really right somewhere down the line and you were sent to him as reward. He’d racked his mind for hours of every good thing he’d ever done, trying to find one that could explain your presence in his life. For anything that could explain why he deserved you. He poured and poured over every memory he could dig up but couldn’t find any good he’d ever done that surmounted to a single piece of the good in your heart.
There was a time when he would’ve thought—when he did think that you were only in his life to be taken away as soon as he felt safe. That would certainly be in line with previous experiences. But you showed him quickly that you have this way about you…it makes those loud thoughts in the back of his head shut up and just listen. Listen to your words, your breathing, your footsteps, your laugh…anything he could. Because it turns out, when he listens, he feels safe. 
He’s quiet for a long time, contentedly watching you work. He notices that at some point you’d stopped tracing the lines and began drawing designs instead. 
He breaks the silence after several minutes, softly commenting, “You don’t know how to read palms.”
“No, I do not.” 
But you continued to leave your invisible art on the palm of his hand just the same, both of you taking comfort in the sound of the other's breathing and the soothing feeling of each other’s skin.
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The radio plays lightly in the background, surrounding your night with soft ambience. You’re working at the cutting board with tomatoes as Jason leans against the counter next to you, having just finished getting the pasta set up on the stove.
His hands find your hips, resting them there as he watches you work over your shoulder.
“Watch your thumb.” He comments when the knife gets a little too close for his liking.
You shrug him off, “I know how to do it.”
He eyes the way the knife stutters as you cut through the tomato, slicing through not very cleanly at all. “Doesn’t look like it.”
You ignore him, elbowing him gently in the abdomen. He’s joking, but he’s not. The skill level you’re displaying is only above Bruce and slightly below Tim, which is not great.
“Will you let me do it?” he asks you when he realizes there’s going to be no improvement. 
“Fine.” You relent with faux annoyance. 
You switch over to the stovetop, keeping a careful eye on the pasta as it cooks. It’s quiet for a moment as he works, chopping with much more efficiency than you had.  
“You didn’t have to stay here tonight, you know.” You say quietly, still intently watching the stove.
In spite of the music, your low volume does nothing to faze him as he continues his actions, “Why wouldn’t I?”
You stir the contents of the saucepan around. “Well, I know Roy wanted you to go out…”
“Not missing much.” He mumbles, opening up the above cabinet to get out plates.
You lull your head to the side, “Come on, he’s your best friend.”
Jason frowns. “He’s not my best friend.”
You turn your head towards him, “No?”
He meets your gaze, frown consistent. “No. You are.” He says it like he’s confused that you don’t know that. 
“Oh.” You smile, “You’re my best friend too.”
His eyes soften at that, a light smile gracing his lips. He knew that, and he knew you’d say it, but hearing it out loud just…does something to him.
You flick the stove top off, prompting him to on instinct reach for the Marinara jar and crack it open for you. He hands it to you and you accept with a smile, twisting it open the rest of the way as you turn back to the stove. The jar sputters as you open, spitting out sauce.    
“Oh, shit.” You hiss, when the splatter hits your shirt.
He takes one glance at the mess on your shirt and pulls his own shirt off his back. He’s tugging yours off just as fast, replacing it with his. You’ve barely processed what happened as he scans your body, eyes lingering on where his shirt stops at your thighs. “Can you wear this to bed tonight?” He asks, hands running over your waist.
You laugh, “Really?”
He meets your eyes, face serious. “Yes.” He squeezes your hip, “You look good.”
“In your shirt.” You say with a knowing smile.
“In my shirt.” He confirms.
You turn back to the stove to dish out the salsa, his hands skimming around your thighs as you do. He watches you as you work, though rather than watching your hands he’s fixated on the size of his shirt over you and how fucking good you look right now. 
“Or…” He sweeps his eyes over your legs before looking back up at you again. “Did’ya turn the stove off?”
You tilt your head at him, “I did…?”
He grins at you, lifting you up by your thighs til you’re a head above him. “Good.” He maneuvers you over to the counter, setting you on top. He brings your wrist up to his mouth to press a delicate kiss before dropping to his knees.
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You’ve been laying in bed for at least three hours, bordering on sleep but never quite falling in. You and Jason had a little spat, though nothing insurmountable, it was still the biggest fight you’ve had to date. You’d tried going out (at night) to see your friend that was having a hard time, and yeah, you should’ve told Jason you were going. It was only five blocks, give or take, but in Gotham at eleven o’clock at night, it’s a risk to say the least.
You should’ve told Jason, you know. But he wouldn’t have let you go or would’ve insisted on putting hold on patrolling to accompany you. You always feel bad when he does that—people could be getting hurt somewhere because you needed your boyfriend to walk you down the street. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter in the end because he caught you red handed before you’d even made it a full block away. Of all the nights for him to come home early, it had to be this one.
He dropped down from the rooftop behind you and scared the absolute hell out of you, and you didn’t even have time to be relieved that it was just him because he was on you in a flash. 
“What the hell are you doing out here?” His voice was hard through the modulator, a rare tone for him to use with you.
“I just—my friend—” he sounded tired and angry, sure signs that he’d really not had a good night so far which was probably all the more reason that you shouldn’t have been out by yourself in the middle of the night.
“What are you—no! Go home. Now.” You would’ve, you really would’ve, but your friend called you crying about her boyfriend cheating on her again and she needed the in person support. 
“Ja—” You’d cut yourself off, “It’s down the street, it’s fine—” He dropped his shoulders in a huff and faced you dead-on. You didn’t need him to take his helmet off to know exactly how he was looking at you.
He dropped down and hooked his arm around the back of your legs, lifting you off the ground with no discernible effort. “Wha—”
He started walking before you were even fully planted on his shoulder, arm wrapping around your legs to hold you in place. 
“Hood! I am so fucking serious, put me down!” You swatted at his back and struggled in his grip, though in the back of your mind you knew it was a pointless effort. Even if you were a match in size, whatever mood he’d been pushed in was enough to guarantee that you had no chance. 
He ignored you, not even pretending that you were giving him any difficulty with your squirming. He marched you back down the block to your apartment, not stopping until you’re outside your door. He set you down in between him and the entrance, digging into his pocket for his key.
He kicked the door shut behind him, finally letting you go. He wordlessly grabbed one of his spare guns and two cartridges of ammo from inside the closet by the door and turned back to you with a firm stance. “Stay here.”
You immediately tried to push past him again, at that point more angry about him dragging you back here than about having to duck out on your friend. He stopped you, holding you by the arms, which led you to respond by raising your voice at him, “Jason!” 
But he didn’t waste any time letting you know how it is, “I will lock you in this fucking apartment. Stay. Here.” Him cursing at you like that was very rare and not a particularly good sign, so through your anger you’d made the decision that it was better to relent, for now. Your posture dropped and you frowned at him resentfully, a visible cue that you were giving in without you having to say it. 
He stayed true to his word and locked the door on his way out, though knowing you could easily unlock it from the inside. You’d trudged into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.   
Now you lay on Jason’s usual side of the bed, partially because you do miss him, partially because the bed feels a little less empty when you can’t see all the empty space. You know he was just trying to keep you safe after what was probably a rough start to the night, so you feel less than great that you’d yelled at him.
Your dwelling over the memory is interrupted by a quiet creak of the bedroom door. You blink up at him blearily, “Jay?” You sit up, furrowing your brow. You didn’t even hear him come home. “What’s wrong?” You figure he must be hurt to come in here—it’s not unknown for him to sleep on the couch if he feels like he did something wrong or upset you.   
Your eyes attempt to adjust to the darkness, scanning over him for any injuries. He’s out of his armor and in his regular clothes which means he must have showered already. And you know from dozens of nights patching him up that he always tends to his injuries before showering.
This leaves you confused, as you look up at him, waiting for an answer. “I can’t…I don’t want to sleep without you.” He whispers, eyes on the floor. 
You shuffle back into your usual spot near the wall and hold your hand out to him expectantly. You’re still a bit cross with him, but you miss him too much to care right now.
It takes him a second to move, but he eventually lingers away from the door and makes his way to the bed. He takes your hand as he climbs onto the bed, letting go only when you lay down after him, staring up at the ceiling next to him. 
You weren’t entirely expecting him to wrap his arms around you and tug you into his chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’d assumed he would lay on his side and you on yours and that would be enough for him to fall asleep with. Instead, he tightens his arms and buries his face into the crook of your neck. You lay there in silence for a couple minutes, both thinking.
“You’re mad.” He mumbles into your shoulder after a while. You know he feels badly about the dispute, you knew it while it was still happening. As hard as he tries, he’s not very good at hiding his emotions. Not with you, anyways.
You shrug slightly. “Barely. I’ll get over it. This is more important.”
He picks his head up to look at you, “I love you. You know that?”
You wiggle out of his grip a bit, making him frown. You use the new space to flip over to face him, before placing his arm back around your waist. You peek up at him, looking him in the eyes, “I do. You know I love you. Even when we fight.”
He looks at you like he’s a bit thrown off by your words. “I’m sorry. It was just…it was a rough night…I—I’m sorry.” He tells you dolefully.  
You shake your head, frowning. “Don’t be. I should’ve texted you.”
“It—yeah. Please. I just worry about you.” He looks so sad and it makes you feel somehow worse.
“I know,” you whisper, “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be.” He kisses your forehead, not moving away after.
You feel like you can finally relax and your tense body doesn’t take long to slacken in his hold. Soon after, he does the same, both of you closing your eyes. You feel your heart slow and your mind starts to find a space of peace.    
Before you crash out, you mumble out, “I’m going to be a little passive aggressive in the morning, though.”
“I’d hope so.”
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Jason didn’t get it at first.
Honestly, he didn’t really realize that you noticed things about him that even he didn’t see.
Your neighbor was having their place remodeled and you knew there would be construction going on near your apartment all day.
Jason didn’t really care, planning to bury his head under the pillow and trying to sleep through it. You however, seemed very adamant about getting out of the apartment that day. You’d left hours before the construction crew had even gotten there, telling him it was a nice day out.
It was an alright day, but he let you have your way.
You held his hand as you walked down the street, looking into shop windows and commenting on things you think he’d like.
You led him into a book store excitedly, telling him about how the author he’d been binging had just published something new. He didn’t even know that.
You were browsing the sections, flipping through books as you went. You peered across the shop at a kid holding an absolutely massive pile of books, who was clearly struggling to keep them in his arms.
His mother tried to help him but he shook his head and strided away independently, albeit very slowly. The weight of the books though, did get the best of him, and you could tell by the quivering in his arms that he was going to drop them.
“Loud noise.” You said quickly, seemingly out of the blue. Jason turned to you, confused, before seeing the stack the books splat flat onto the ground. It was indeed a loud noise.
He tilts his head at you, though you’re still busy watching the little boy as he throws his head back in frustration.
“What was that?”
You look at him, “He dropped his books.”
“Yeah, I saw. But why—”
His question gets cut off by the kid bursting into tears, wailing. You turn back to look at him, your gaze getting caught by the new book you’d been telling him about. “Ooh!”
You grab his hand and pull him over with you, smiling widely when you have the book in your hands. The sight of you makes him feel so warm so fast that he forgets about the odd interaction all together.
A couple hours later, you sit outside a cafe and eat lunch together, his back to the road, you sitting diagnal to him.
He’s telling you about the shit Damian got in trouble for at school last week, holding your hand with his right hand and eating with his left.
“He thinks he’s not going to get expelled for pulling shit like that every other week, it’s ridiculous.” He says, tossing his napkin down on the table.
Your smile is wavers as your eyes move past his shoulder looking down the block before widening, “Car—”
The sudden noise startles him enough to make him visibly jump, hand flying to where his holster would be. He looks over at the fender bender, shoulders relaxing.
He turns back to you to find your eyes looking far more worried than they should. You seem to be scanning his face, looking for something and he’s about to ask you what’s wrong when it sinks in.
He does get scared by unexpected loud sounds, doesn’t he? He never really thinks of it until it happens, but his mind is trained to expect gunshots or crowbars making impact.
It doesn’t happen often, but it noticeably takes a little piece out of him when it does.
“You…” he tries, but falters. He’s not even sure he’s processing this right.
He’s never seriously tried to fathom that you love him half as much as he loves you, though love doesn’t feel like a strong enough word. He lives and breathes for you, you’ve become a lifeline he’d been stranded without for most of his life. But now you're here and you’re everything, you’re in his head all the time, in every emotion he feels.
He thinks he’s here for you, that he was brought back from the dead because of you. You can’t possibly understand how much his heart is full of you, he doesn’t understand it himself.
He knows you love him, he’s gotten that through his head. But he can’t get a grasp on the idea that he’s equally matched in the who loves who the most battle.
Do you really care that much about him to go out of your way to keep track of things that might startle him? He knows there’s a million things about you that are in the back of his mind at any given time, but surely you don’t operate that same way with him?
Do you?
There’s this burning in his heart that aches and it only gets stronger when he sees you looking at him like that. So genuine. With care, with love.
He squeezes your hand, “I love you. More than anything.”
The look on your face sinks back into that sweet, adorable look that he’s so used to and it makes him want to scream.
You smile that bright smile and it sends his heart rocketing into oblivion. “I love you.” You squeeze his hand back, “More than everything.”
He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.
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sednas · 2 years
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i wanted to write something nasty but it ended up being quite sweet, don't blame me i just need love
⠀ૈ☆ ex-husband nanami x fem!reader
𓏲 ࣪₊♡ tw: [n]sfw, breeding kink, jealousy, possessiveness, fluffy ending
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it only took one look, just one look across the room full of guests to reignite something that had never really been extinguished.
nanami's grip around his glass of wine got a little tighter, his eyes flashing at you and his heart starting to beat fast.
he became more muscular since your divorce, his shoulders looked stronger, carrying him with much more confidence and charisma than before.
maybe he finally quit his shitty job, you thought to yourself, trying to act cool as you saw him coming closer...
yeah he definitely quit his job, you think to yourself again, laying on your back while his cock is splitting you open.
"I missed you so much my love..."
familiar goosebumps hit your skin and his hands slide along the curves of your waist, the tip of his cock pushing against your cervix.
all you can do is take it, unfocused eyes watching your ex-husband thrusting inside your dripping pussy. nanami grunts, his body pressed against your own, his breath fanning over your neck, and you can't help but moan his name and wrap your legs around his hips, trying to meet his thrusts.
"'missed you too kento..." you try to speak, your hands reaching out to hold his face.
you missed everything about him, the warmth of his skin, his cologne scent, how messy his blond hair gets when you run your hands through it, and the way he knows every single one of your weak spots.
he never fucked you this hard in the past, of course he was rough sometimes, but you can tell something has changed, snapped.
not that you're complaining about it.
your back arches off the bed, making his pelvic bone touch your spasming clit.
"this time I'm not letting you go angel..."
his eyes get darker, thinking about the potential men and women who had you since your divorce, it makes him fuck you harder, deeper.
"mine..." he whispers, more to himself than for you to hear.
he takes your hands to pin them above your head and smiles when he hears you whine.
"you're gonna cum angel?" he asks, not slowing down his thrusts.
he knows you by heart, and he smiles when you nod, his mouth starting to suck on the soft skin of your neck, marking you.
"that's okay, I'm gonna cum too..." he says, and you can feel his hot breath hitting your skin.
he keeps rubbing your sweet spot, completely lost in the feeling. god he missed that feeling, you're the only one who can make him lose his mind like that, he can't believe he let you go when you're this perfect.
"you're still not on birth control?"
and he smiles again when he sees you shake your head. so perfect.
"gonna put a baby in you yeah? gonna make you a mom... will you let me angel?"
you mindlessly nod your head, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist, your whole body is trembling and you feel his cock twitches inside of you.
"please... breed me..." you sweetly asks, and he can't deny you.
your vision gets blurry, your eyes roll back and you violently cum around his cock as he does the same in you, still thrusting to push his cum deeper. you both stays silent for a few seconds, nanami's head buried in your neck, inhaling your familiar scent, closing his eyes of content when he feels your hands rubbing his back.
"I love you, I've never stopped loving you, even after six years..." he whispers, his voice sounding almost vulnerable as he kisses your shoulder.
you ruffle his hair, and you whine a little as you can feel his cock still pushing against your cervix.
"I'm here now, I won't leave."
he hums, his arms wrapping around your waist and you can feel yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.
this time you both won't let go of each other.
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jjk masterlist
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alastorss · 8 months
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⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
You've never seen Alastor sleep before.
He's always lurking around in shadows—here and there and everywhere at once. But you hardly see him and his toothy grin past his working hours.
Yet here he is, head down on the table. The usual crackling static noise that follows him wherever he goes is missing, making the room eerily quiet. It's so horribly silent that you can hear the faintest shaking of the porcelain cup against the plate.
You'd only meant to bring him a coffee. You didn't mean to intrude on his break.
You're part way through deciding if you should turn and escape while you can—god knows what would happen if he found out you were staring at him while he slept. Maybe he would laugh it off and reassure you with that malicious undertone of his, or maybe he would kill you where you stand. You could never tell with him exactly what he was thinking.
"Well, are you just going to stare at me?"
You freeze, porcelain clinking together as you jolt in your spot.
"I brought you a coffee," you manage to stammer out, placing it down beside his head which is still buried in his arms. "Charlie said you might need one."
Static fills the room again as he opens his mouth, your hairs pricking up and standing on end. "How kind of you," he hums, sounding entirely uninterested.
Finally, he raises his head to look at you. He seems bleary still—completely unlike his normal sharp self. The demon tries to blink the sleep from his eyes, but to your annoyance still has that shit-eating grin plastered ear-to-ear.
Against your better judgement, you ask him: "Are you okay? You seem—"
"Tired. I know," Alastor interrupts, eyes narrowing at your inquisition. "You have nothing to worry about, my dear."
You blink at him a few times, watching as his smile slowly shrinks the longer you remain quiet. He hates this, feeling seen and being fretted over. Loathes it more than anything in Hell.
And, well. He was having quite a nice nap until you woke him up with that incessant shaking. Was he really that terrifying even in such a docile state?
He can feel his smile fading faster and faster, hopes dashed of having the chance to fall asleep again lest he end up vulnerable with you knowing he was unguarded. How terrible.
Only one solution, then.
"Why don't you join me for a siesta?"
You gawk at him, looking absolutely bewildered. "Y-You— huh?"
It would put him at ease to know you were asleep before he is; that you aren't poking your nose around in business you shouldn't be. He could keep you asleep with white noise for as long as he pleased.
"Come, sit."
Alastor kicks the chair opposite of him out from the desk, urging you to take a seat across from him. Hesitantly, you do. It fills him with deep satisfaction that you're trembling as you do, probably only obeying him out of fear.
You're quite amusing, really. Charming in a cute way. You were so forgettable when Charlie decided to take you in, but perhaps he should play with you a little.
He has found this place boring lately. You'd be an excellent way to solve all his problems with that nervous, flustered look on your face.
Alastor's smile bounces back to full size, fangs flashy and alluring as he grins at you.
"Go on," he chuckles, voice breaking with static. "I won't bite."
Oh dear. What have you gotten yourself into?
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fushitoru · 30 days
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chapter 4: the game a bridgerton!au
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pairing ⸺ duke!satoru gojo x fem!reader
summary⸺ dearest gentle reader, a new season is upon us as the ton gets ready for a season filled with drama, heartbreak, and passion. after being crowned diamond of the season, duke gojo⸺only looking to marry just to secure his inheritance⸺has his sights set on you, the easiest (and most obvious) option. later, when you catch his saying unsavory things about you on a terrace when he least suspected it, you swear to never marry gojo. as london's fashionable set goes through yet another wedding season, will there be hope for scandalous gossip, hate, and thinly veiled insults, or will we witness blooming love and passion?
warnings ⸺ nsfw, enemies to lovers, bridgerton au, angst, fluff, SUGGESTIVE, eventual smut, jealousy, misogyny, regency era au, gojo being infuriating, reader also being infuriating, both of them are clueless honestly
chapter summary: satoru has some revelations about you. both you and satoru share some quite...happening days at the manor, including an eventful game of pall mall. (4.9k)
prev. the manor | next. soon!
general masterlist | series masterlist
a/n WARNING this chapter is suggestive. like always minors dni. not edited at all bc im sick of this chapter lol (like always i fear). see u at the bottom ;)
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Dearest reader, 
It has come to the attention of This Author that Miss Itadori, the undeniable diamond of the season, has made her appearance at Gojo Manor a full week ahead of the rest of the ton. Such early arrival can only provoke speculation: might the tender buds of affection be blossoming in the Kentish countryside? Shall we soon witness Miss Itadori departing with more than just fond memories, perhaps even a ring upon her finger? These are the very questions now fluttering through the minds of young ladies and their ever-watchful mamas, who may find their carefully laid plans to ensnare Lord Gojo dashed before the house party has even begun.
⸻ LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS
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Gojo leaned back in his chair, fingers absentmindedly drumming on the armrest as he watched you fumble with the library door. The soft fabric of your nightgown slipped off your shoulder, a glimpse of bare skin catching in the dim light⸺something not lost to Gojo’s eyes as he watched your figure disappear angrily. Your face was flushed, eyes wide and uncertain. Despite the flurry of emotions playing across your features, what struck him most was the way your hands trembled as you fought to maintain composure.
His lips pressed into a thin line as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. You had come here⸺of all places⸺into his sanctuary, and for what? A part of him couldn’t reconcile the image of you sneaking into the library in the dead of night with the proper, composed lady you portrayed during the day. The whole encounter felt surreal, leaving a knot of confusion coiled tightly in his chest.
His gaze lingered on the empty doorway after you vanished, a strange hollowness settling in his chest. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to shake off the feeling, but it clung to him like the shadows of the room. His fingers tightened around the armrest, knuckles whitening as if he could grasp onto something concrete⸺something that made sense. But all he was left with was the lingering echo of your footsteps in the hallway and the ghost of your flushed face in his mind.
He rubbed a hand over his face, exhaling slowly. His mind kept returning to the way your nightgown had slipped from your shoulder as you fumbled with the door. The pale fabric had slid down so effortlessly, exposing the curve of your bare skin. It wasn’t scandalous, not really⸺not enough to warrant the way his thoughts kept circling back to it. And yet, he couldn’t shake the image, the unexpected flash of vulnerability. The sight of it stirred something in him, a quiet confusion that unsettled his usual composure.
What was it that made him notice? Gojo’s brow furrowed as he considered it, his fingers absently drumming on the armrest of his chair. He had witnessed plenty of women in far less modest circumstances (most of them courtesy of his friends, who forced him to go to ridiculous events), and yet, this felt different. There was something about the way you had tried to maintain your dignity, the way you had fought to compose yourself even as your face flushed and your nightgown betrayed you. It was... distracting.
The memory of your fearful expression gnawed at him. He had expected haughty arrogance or calculated charm, not genuine fear. You weren’t like the people who usually surrounded him, playing their part in society's grand performance, all vying for his attention. There was an intelligence in your eyes, a spark that made him feel something unsettlingly close to admiration.
He couldn’t make sense of it. Why did it matter that you were different? Why did he find himself enjoying your company, despite the fact that you seemed entirely uninterested in his? He drummed his fingers against the armrest, contemplating the possibility of pursuing you for the rest of the season⸺though he quickly dismissed the thought. You were uncooperative, difficult. A chase after you would be nothing short of exhausting. 
And yet...
His attention shifted back to the desk, to the scattered papers you had left behind. Gojo reached for them, his fingers brushing lightly against the edge of the parchment as though handling something fragile. The numbers and diagrams were a mess of scribbled notes, and yet, they held a strange familiarity. His brow furrowed as he traced the lines with his eyes, piecing together the fragmented calculations. Then, like a puzzle falling into place, it clicked.
Venus. Of all things, you had been calculating the size of Venus.
Gojo’s hand froze midair, hovering over the papers. He blinked, his breath catching in his throat. He had assumed⸺no, expected⸺you to be reading some frivolous romance, a book about love and passion, something fitting for a young lady sneaking into a library. But instead, you were working on complex celestial calculations.
He had pegged you for a typical young lady of the ton⸺someone more interested in the latest gossip or the affections of suitors than in the stars. It annoyed him, more than he cared to admit, that he had been wrong.
Gojo set the paper down, his hand resting on the edge of the desk as he leaned back in his chair. The flicker of irritation that sparked in his chest was unfamiliar, unsettling even. It wasn’t just that you had surprised him⸺plenty of people had done that before. No, it was the fact that he had misjudged you so completely. He prided himself on being perceptive, on seeing through people’s masks with ease. Yet here you were, slipping past his assumptions with nothing more than a few scribbled notes and a fleeting presence.
His gaze dropped to the floor, and for the first time in a long while, he felt uncertain. Gojo wasn’t used to feeling this way⸺unsettled, annoyed, and a little too curious for his own good. He tapped the papers lightly, lost in thought. What did it mean that you had gotten under his skin like this? That he found himself wanting to unravel the mystery of you, to see what lay beneath the surface of your carefully constructed facade?
A sigh escaped his lips, low and quiet. His hand finally left the papers, and he leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling as if it held answers he couldn’t quite grasp. The world around him was filled with people who either fawned over his charms or remained blissfully unaware of his true nature. But you? You saw right through him. You challenged him, unsettled him, made him question things he had never thought to question before.
With a final glance at the empty doorway, Satoru leaned forward again, ready to dive back into his work. But this time, his thoughts weren’t solely on his family’s ledgers. They were on you⸺and the undeniable pull that had started to form between you.
And inevitably, because Satoru is distracted, he lets the lull of sleep sneak up on him, swathing him in its deep, heavy blanket.
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No, Satoru hears himself think. You’re not supposed to be here.
You’re sitting on his bed, somehow made it up to his chambers. A part of Satoru comprehends⸺in all his sleep-deprived glory⸺that he is definitely dreaming, but there’s an overwhelmingly stubborn part of him that dominates his entire consciousness, refusing to accept the fact. 
You’re leaning on your elbow, resting on your side on the foot of his bed. Part of him wants to believe that you are really here, sheer nightgown that seems to get shorter and shorter⸺slipping up your thighs⸺every time his consciousness paints an image of you. The sheer material drapes over your figure, accentuating the gentle curve of your waist and the fullness of your hips, painting a picture that torments him.
“My lord,” you whisper. 
It’s just his title, but your voice carries a sweetness it never holds in reality, dripping with an unfamiliar softness that makes Satoru’s heart lurch. Panic takes root, and he scrambles back, trying to distance himself from the fantasy in front of him. His back slams against the headboard as he fights to resist⸺not just you, but the part of himself that aches to abandon all notions of honor. That part of him that craves to do things to you that are anything but honorable.
Then, he notices your smile. It’s not the polite, practiced smile you show at balls or to suitors vying for your attention. This one is sincere, warm⸺a smile that speaks of affection, the kind you’ve never shown him before.
Like you are in love. 
And you are not helping Satoru in his restraint because you position yourself, crawling like a predator, straddling his lap. Satoru is suddenly breathing too fast, his chest tightening with the weight of desire and disbelief.
Your lips are at his ear. Your lips are so soft. “Touch me,” you say, trailing your lips down feather light across his jaw. 
Right now, you are in love. With him. You are his, and Satoru desperately does not want to fight it. 
He does not want to. 
Your hands start trailing down his torso, and now he registers that he is simply wearing a linen shirt and underwear because you are tracing the edge of his underwear, touching his inner thighs, getting so, so impossibly close to⸺
“No,” he rasps, squeezing his eyes shut. “I am a man of honor.”
But that’s a lie. One that Satoru clings to, because admitting the truth would shatter everything he’s built. His identity, his values⸺they all rest on the lie he’s desperately trying to hold onto.
What he really wants is nothing between you and him.
He wants that flimsy nightgown gone, the one that barely covers your thighs and what lies between them. He wants to keep the candlelight burning so he can see every inch of you, learn every detail of your body. He wants to slip off your chemise and explore the softness of your skin, trace the swell of your breasts, the dip of your hips, and taste the sweetness of your lips.
Satoru can’t focus on anything except the fact you are utterly, scandalously close to him, sitting on his lap and staring at him as if you love him. 
And his treacherous heart wants to abandon duty, honor, the dukedom, the royal family⸺everything⸺and simply take you. To feel the weight of you pressed against him, wrapped around him.
But just as his hands move to cup your face, you start giggling. “No, you are not.”
Satoru blinks, confused.
You laugh again, light and teasing. “You are no man of honor.”
And suddenly, your laughter echoes in his mind, filling the room with its taunting melody. It etches itself into his thoughts, leaving an indelible mark.
“You are a coward.”
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You entered the drawing room to break your fast, Choso by your side, and immediately locked eyes with Gojo, who was already seated at the table with his mother. He quickly looked away, focusing on the toast he was slathering with an ungodly amount of jam.
As you moved to sit at the table with Choso, you couldn't help but study him. Gojo appeared more disheveled than usual, perhaps a bit fatigued, though any sign of vulnerability quickly vanished when your mother spoke.
“Lord Gojo, it is a fine morning, is it not?” she inquired with her usual warmth.
Gojo smiled, leaning back in his chair with his characteristic nonchalance. “Indeed, Lady Itadori, especially as I am blessed with such lovely company as yourself and your daughter.” His eyes flickered toward you, an arrogant glint in them before they shifted back to your mother.
You and Choso exchanged exasperated glances. 
Your mother chuckled, clearly charmed. “Oh, my lord, you flatter me. Tell me, what do you favor for breakfast? I am always curious to hear of others' preferences.”
“Clearly, it is toast drowned in enough jam to satisfy an army,” you muttered under your breath, delicately spreading butter onto your own toast.
Gojo’s eyes flashed, and he couldn’t resist a retort. “At least I do not indulge in something as dull as butter.”
You stiffened. “Butter is far superior to such overwhelming sweetness. Jam annihilates the taste of the toast itself, rendering it pointless.”
“And butter,” he shot back, “adds nothing but blandness. It is unremarkable, simple, and tasteless.”
A surge of heat rose to your face, ready to deliver another sharp remark, but before you could respond, Duchess Gojo’s lilting laughter filled the room. “Oh, my dears, what a lively couple you make!” Her tone was teasing, her eyes alight with amusement. “Such spirited conversation at breakfast⸺how delightful!”
Both you and Gojo stiffened, your faces flushing, though whether it was from irritation or something else entirely, you couldn’t say. You hastily turned your attention back to your toast, while Gojo busied himself with his tea.
Duchess Gojo clapped her hands together lightly, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Since we are all in such a lively mood this morning, I do believe a game of pall-mall is in order once breakfast is through. The garden is in full bloom, and the weather is perfect for it.”
Your mother smiled graciously. “A wonderful idea, Duchess. It has been some time since we last enjoyed a game.”
“Indeed,” the Duchess agreed. “And I daresay a little friendly competition will do us all good. What do you say, Lord Gojo?” She turned to her son with a knowing look. “I trust you are up for the challenge?”
Gojo leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing on his lips. “I never shy away from a challenge, Mother. But do be warned, I have no intention of losing.”
“Confidence is a virtue,” you remarked dryly, reaching for your teacup, “but do not let it cloud your judgment. Pall-mall requires more than mere bravado.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow, his smile widening. “Ah, a challenge from you as well. This shall be an interesting morning indeed.”
“Let us hope your skills in the garden match your flair for words, my lord,” you retorted, your tone light (for the sake of preventing your mother a heart attack) but your gaze to Gojo sharp. 
Duchess Gojo’s laughter rang out once more, her eyes gleaming with delight. “Oh, this will be most entertaining! Come now, let us finish our breakfast, and then we shall see who emerges victorious on the field.”
You took a sip of your tea, pointedly ignoring the way Gojo’s gaze lingered on you as you did so. The day had barely begun, and already, you felt the familiar tension of being in his presence. But if there was one thing you knew, it was that you wouldn’t back down from a challenge⸺whether at the breakfast table or in the garden.
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Duchess Gojo clapped her hands together, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Now, we must let our diamond choose first. After all, she is the only lady participating today.”
You smiled warmly at her, a polite nod of appreciation. Gojo, however, frowned, his eyes narrowing slightly as he glanced between you and the bag of mallets. “Are we not simply setting her up for victory?”
Turning to him with an innocent smile, you crossed your arms. “What’s that, my lord? Are you unable, as a man, to deal with the loss of your chosen mallet? I know some men depend heavily on certain familiars to win.”
Gojo held your gaze for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, with a dismissive shrug, he looked away. “Choose whatever you want. I will be sure to defeat you regardless.”
Duchess Gojo placed a warm hand on your back, encouraging you forward. “That’s the spirit, my son. Now, Miss Itadori, do choose which one you fancy.”
You approached the bag of mallets, your eyes scanning over the selection. They varied in subtle shapes and sizes, each one seemingly tailored for a different style of play. Your gaze settled on a mallet slightly larger than the others, painted a light blue shade. Its weight and shape seemed particularly advantageous for aim and control—perfect for directing the ball with precision.
As you picked it up, Gojo’s expression darkened, a hint of irritation flickering in his eyes. “Of course, she chooses the best one,” he muttered under his breath.
“Well,” Duchess Gojo crossed her arms. “I suppose it’s only fair that you all let the lady go first.” She turned to you, nodding. “I will go join your mother for tea inside, my dear.” Winking, she adds, “Show these boys how real ladies do it.”
As the duchess took her leave, Choso, always the supportive brother, leaned over to you with a small smile. “Excellent choice, sister. Show them how it’s done.”
You gave him a grateful nod and positioned yourself for your turn. With a graceful swing, you sent the ball rolling smoothly across the lawn. Choso clapped in approval, but when you looked up, Gojo and Yuji were both glowering at you from the sidelines.
Gojo’s lips curled into a smirk, clearly not amused by your success. “Beginner’s luck,” he commented dryly. Yuji could only nod in mindless agreement to Gojo, and you graced him with a glower. Traitor.
Now it was Gojo’s turn. He stepped forward with confident ease, positioning himself with the mallet as though he had been doing this his entire life. With a swift, practiced swing, his ball shot forward and struck a target dead center. Yuji’s eyes sparkled with admiration, practically beaming at Gojo’s skill.
Choso and you exchanged petulant glances, unimpressed by Gojo’s display. But Yuji’s excitement only grew, and he couldn’t resist praising his mentor. “Incredible, my lord! You never miss!”
Choso’s turn came next. With a focused look, he lined up his shot and knocked Gojo’s ball right out of position, sending it tumbling off course into a forested area. Gojo let out a forced laugh, masking his irritation as best as he could, and you clapped and let out a small, petty giggle. “Good shot, brother! I fear Lord Gojo will have to travel much distance to retrieve and get it on course.”
You would come to bite your words.
When it was Yuji’s turn, he aimed with all his might and sent your ball flying out of position. You gasped in outrage, turning to him with narrowed eyes. “Oh, you will pay for this.”. 
Gojo, on the other hand, gave Yuji a hearty pat on the back, beaming with pride. “Well done, Yuji. Well done.”
It was now your turn, and you stomped your way towards the forested area where you and Gojo’s balls had traveled towards. Soon enough, Gojo was following after you.
The path was shaded by trees, and the coolness of the forest was a welcome relief from the heat of the sun. You could help but give each other glares until you finally broke the silence.
 “How dare you bewitch my brother into turning against me?” you accused him, stepping over a stray root.
Gojo rolled his eyes, a playful smirk on his lips. “It appears that Yuji’s blood is indeed not thicker than water,” 
 “Or maybe⸺just maybe⸺your charm isn’t as infallible as you think.”
Keeping pace beside you, Gojo scoffed. “And yet, here you are, still engaged in conversation with me. I must be doing something right.”
You shoot him an angry sideways glance. “I’m only here because my ball is, unfortunately, in the same direction as yours. Nothing more.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Ah, so it’s mere coincidence that fate keeps pulling us together.”
“More like unfortunate circumstance.”
The two of you continued bickering as you searched for your wayward balls. The back-and-forth banter echoed through the forest, neither of you willing to back down.
Finally, you spotted them⸺your ball and Gojo’s⸺resting precariously on top of a narrow stream of water. You both halted, glancing at each other, and then, without a word, you raced forward.
Gojo reached the water’s edge first, but you weren’t far behind. Neither of you hesitated as you waded into the shallow stream, your focus entirely on retrieving your respective balls. The bottoms of your clothes became soaked in the cool water, but neither of you paid it any mind, too busy grappling to reach your goals first.
Just as you managed to scoop up your ball, your dress snagged on something in the water. You stumbled forward, colliding directly into Gojo, who had just retrieved his own. The sudden impact sent both of you toppling into the water.
You landed squarely on top of him, the shock of the fall leaving you momentarily dazed. Gojo blinked up at you, his breath catching as his gaze dropped to your now-dampened bodice, honing in on your bosom. For a moment, his usually sharp and calculating eyes softened, confusion flickering across his face as if he didn’t quite understand the effect you were having on him.
You scrambled to find your words, unsure of what to say. “I didn’t mean to⸺”
Before you could finish, Gojo gently grasped your shoulders and helped you off of him. He stood up first, his expression uncharacteristically serious as he brushed off his wet clothing and offered you a hand. You took it, steadying yourself as you rose to your feet.
Gojo swallowed hard, clearly at a loss for words. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then quickly closed it, shaking his head. “I must go,” he muttered,.
Without another word, he turned and left, leaving you standing there in the stream, confused and flustered as you watched him disappear into the trees.
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“I am not impressed.” Nobara impassively stares you down with a glower.
You fluttered your fan, maintaining a delicate air of mock innocence. “Whatever do you mean, my dear friend?”
The two of you sat at a small table on the terrace, its stone surface warm from the midday sun. Before you, the expansive field served as Gojo’s personal training ground, scattered with targets and archery equipment. Gojo and his protégé, Yuji, had clearly been at it for hours, their bare skin glistening with sweat under the relentless sun. They moved with a practiced ease, their focus entirely on the task at hand.
Gojo was currently demonstrating a particular stance to Yuji, his voice carrying faintly over the terrace as he corrected the younger man’s posture and grip. Yuji, ever the diligent student, watched him with an intensity that bordered on awe. You couldn’t help but reflect that his expression now⸺determined and assured⸺contrasted much with his encounter with you at the game. 
Nobara’s eyes narrowed as she regarded the scene. “Why are we here?” she asked flatly, her gaze lingering on the two men.
You turned to her with a smile, fluttering your fan with exaggerated elegance. “Why, to record in my journal, of course. One must capture the beauty of Mother Nature when it presents itself so generously from this terrace.”
Her expression remained unimpressed. “Is it truly Mother Nature that has captivated you, or Lord Gojo’s bare skin?” She glanced down at your unopened journal, its quill resting untouched beside it. “And how much progress have you made in this recording of yours?”
You couldn’t suppress a laugh, caught in your own half-hearted excuse. “Well, even you cannot deny that he presents a rather fine figure, can you? And I will get to my writing in due time. Inspiration must first strike, after all.”
Nobara sighed, folding her arms across her chest. “I cannot fathom how you find pleasure in looking upon a man who has caused you so much distress. Many times, in fact.”
You glanced back toward the field, watching as Gojo effortlessly pulled back his bowstring, the muscles in his back rippling with the movement. His form was impeccable, each action a demonstration of his skill and strength. Yuji, in contrast, struggled to replicate the motion with as much ease and accuracy, though his determination was evident.
"He’s clearly enjoying himself," you commented dryly, turning your attention back to Nobara. "Torturing me, that is. I might as well make due of my harrowing and demeaning stay here and enjoy some aspects of Gojo. I swear, he delights in the fact that I’m stuck here."
Nobara’s eyes narrowed, and she snorted. "Oh, absolutely. Men like him don’t get much amusement in life unless it involves making someone else miserable."
You shook your head, remembering the library encounter all too vividly. Gojo had seemed genuinely surprised to find you there, and yet he had taken to taunting you with his usual smugness. That infernal smirk of his had been etched into your memory.
"I almost wonder," you mused, "if he was actually shocked to find me in the library. Perhaps I caught him off guard for once."
Nobara raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing? Looking for a book on how to survive insufferable dukes?"
You chuckled softly. "No, I was reading about Venus, actually. But Gojo⸺he assumed I was indulging in some silly romance. Imagine his surprise when he realized I was working on calculations instead."
Nobara’s lips twitched upward in amusement, but before she could respond, a loud thud! echoed across the terrace. Both of you looked down just in time to see Gojo's arrow hit the target dead center.
You rolled your eyes. Of course, he would show off. That insufferable man never missed an opportunity to flaunt his skills. Yuji, predictably, looked like he was about to faint from admiration.
Gojo notched another arrow, his back muscles rippling as he drew it back with practiced ease. His abs tightened with the effort, and though you told yourself you were merely observing his technique, your gaze lingered a moment longer than necessary. The tautness of his form was, undeniably, impressive.
“It is a shame,” Nobara remarked, her voice breaking through your thoughts. “He does present a rather fine figure. If only his character matched his appearance.”
You blinked, realizing that your gaze had lingered on him for far too long. “What?”
Nobara glanced at you, her expression half-amused, half-pitying. “I merely observe that if his manners were as well-formed as his physique, he might be a most agreeable companion.”
You opened your fan again, waving it lightly in front of your face. “Perhaps. But we both know that appearances can be deceiving.”
Nobara’s expression turned serious as she looked at you. “You must find yourself a husband who is both well-formed and well-mannered, my dear. Else I shall be forced to gouge out my eyes every time I am called to attend on you.”
You sighed dramatically, closing your fan with a soft snap. “Whatever you say, Nobara.”
Yet, even as you dismissed her words, your gaze drifted back to the field. Gojo was a puzzle, indeed. And whether you liked it or not, he had captured more of your attention than you were willing to admit.
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Satoru is sweaty and hot, and therefore he must rush back to take a cold bath. 
The weather is quite warm, he must admit to himself. Teaching Yuji had been nothing sort of pleasurable; the boy’s physical prowess was quite impressive, and he learned things very, very fast. If Yuji were to keep learning and working on his skill, he would easily be up to Gojo’s level or even surpass him. 
As he climbs up the stairs to the terrace, he wipes his brow, which has budded with sweat. When he crosses a table that overlooks the field, he notices a book. His mother and him wouldn’t expose any books like this⸺a fine and intricate design covering the top⸺to the harsh, humid weather, so he picks up the book, frowning.
Frowning, he picked it up, curiosity getting the better of him. The book felt unfamiliar in his hands, and as he opened it, the words within seemed to swim before his eyes. Annoyed, he rubbed the sweat from his forehead and squinted, finally making out the fine, neat handwriting on the page.
I confess, there is something intoxicating about the notion that women might be more than what society has so neatly confined us to be. Is it truly so outlandish to consider that we, too, possess minds capable of great thought and spirits yearning for freedom?
Satoru's eyes widened, and a flicker of intrigue sparked within him. He flipped to the next page, where the writing grew messier, more hurried.
Indeed, God truly blesses the wrong soldiers with features such as his. However, I take pride in being one of His strongest for I possess the fortitude to resist the temptation of ending Gojo’s miserable existence myself.
His eyes widened. If he had been intrigued before, now he was thoroughly captivated. This had to be you. His heart began to beat faster as he quickly turned to another page, where the ink was still fresh, and a pressed leaf lay nestled between the pages.
If I were to base my choice of husband solely on physical appearance, I must confess that Lord Gojo would be a most compelling candidate. However, to consider him without regard to his character would be a grave disservice to myself and to dear Nobara, who would bear the consequences of such a choice daily.
I hold out hope for a suitor with a similar strength of physique, one whose form displays power and grace, much like Gojo. His muscles, so clearly defined, speak of formidable strength and control—his back rippling with every pull of the bowstring, his breath labored as he steadies himself.
Alas, such attributes, though appealing, are not enough…
His fingers hovered over the delicate page, the words sinking in. A part of him wanted to laugh at your sharpness, your refusal to fall prey to his charms, but another part⸺one that kept resurfacing and resurfacing against his will, showing up even in his slumber⸺felt something else entirely.
…What a pity, indeed.
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prev. the manor | next. soon!
general masterlist | series masterlist
a/n i feel like the only important plot point in this chapter is that gojo is a boobs guy
sorry if this chapter was a little icky :( i prefered publishing this than having to subject my dear beta reader to having to edit this mess or even me having to think about it further. i will rest so that the next chapter is better <3 (lots of fluffy moments to come in the next one)
gojo when you spawned in his bedroom
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will finally treat myself to answering asks after I wake up since i'm done with this dreadfull chapter <333 jesus it's 3am
comment, reblog, and send in an ask to let me know ur thots :3 memes are also appreciated <3
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797 notes · View notes
ssahotchnerr · 3 months
Note
omg please part 2 off wishful thinking it was so good
we make sense, don't we?
thank you my sweet! cw; bau!reader, idiots realized <3, angst if you really squint, aaron pouring his heart out and FLUFF wc; 1k
part one
Saturday night had arrived; the sun was just beginning to sweep below the horizon. As a result, your living room filled with a comforting warm glow, contrasting the restless feeling your body currently held.
The thought had just entered your mind - you should've been getting ready for the date by now - but a sudden knock at your door interrupted your thinking.
Confused, you rose and crossed the threshold of your apartment. You opened the door, revealing none other than Aaron Hotchner.
"Oh," You blurted out, your heart picking up. "It's you."
You've never seen him like this; Aaron ridden with nerves. His eyes were somber, yet on edge. At first glance, they were desperate. His hands were buried within his pockets, and despite his nervousness, he didn't dare pull his eyes away from yours. "Can we talk?"
"Um, of course. Sure." You opened the door slightly more, allowing him the room to enter. "Come on in."
He thanked you with a swift nod, stepping inside. You closed the door, slowly, to fill the tense silence that hung over your heads, both of you figuring out what to say.
"What is it?" You leaned against the wall, crossing your arms across your chest. You were suddenly hyper-aware of your actions; should your arms be crossed, or was at your side better? What did your hair currently look like, after spending a rotting day on the couch, nose buried in a book. You nearly blanched at the thought, hoping you didn't look too horrendous.
However, while you contemplated your unkempt appearance, Aaron thought quite the opposite.
"I wasn't honest with you."
Your eyebrows furrowed. "About-"
"I don't think you should go on that date tonight." He confided earnestly, feeling nearly sick to his stomach at the thought. To be fair, he had felt similarly since the initial conversation on the jet. He could barely eat the past few days, his throat uncomfortably locked with dread. Regret.
Your mouth parted slightly, in surprise. You would've given anything to hear him say those words on the jet. But for now, your eyes only searched his for more.
"It's not my place to dictate what you do, and I'm not here to change your mind either," He honestly said, internally accepting the possibility his impromptu visit was for nothing. That he was truly, too late. "But you asked what I thought."
It took you a second, still soaking in his words, before you nervously queried. "What do you think, then?"
This is when he tore away his gaze - taking a moment to himself - internalizing what was due to be said and finding a sense of composure. He sighed heavily. Here it goes.
"You and me, we work, don't we?" He hadn't realized how frustrated he was until the admission left his mouth - his voice ached. He continued without waiting for an answer, his words flowing freely now that they've grazed the surface. "I don’t know about you, but I can’t pretend anymore. I can't keep pretending that there's nothing going on between us. I don't need to elaborate, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Right?" He took a step towards you. "We make sense."
"Then why haven't you asked me out?" Your voiced twinged too, partially at fault as well. You never initiated anything, either.
The empty hole that maintained home in the middle of his chest seemingly deepened, sadness brimming at the rim. "As cliché as this statement is, it's complicated. I'm complicated. It's... I'm good at shutting people out. You know how I am with the team, others, I prefer it even."
"But then with you... it's addictive almost, you're addictive. I don't know how else to put it. If I'm not near you, I have the utmost desire to be. You make me want to be open and vulnerable and as much as I fear I'd have a negative imprint on you" Like Haley. "I'm sick of allowing that to control my life. So I'm giving in to it, to be with you. If you'd let me, that is."
You blinked up at him, utterly speechless.
"Which, I'm sorry for coming over unannounced. Unfairly at that," An breath escaped from his nose, resisting the urge to clench his jaw in jealousy. "Before Cameron-"
"Actually," You finally found your voice, interrupting him and feeling lighter than ever. "He's not."
His eyebrows furrowed, a stern yet quizzically pull forming on his face. You could've sworn there wasn't a more adorable sight. "What?"
"I called the date off." You shook your head. "I didn't want to go, and the only reason why I even considered it was because I needed the distraction. From you."
There was an instant change in Aaron; his shoulders dropped, his face softened. Relief swept through him, he could breathe again.
"Truth is," You took a breath, bravely moving yourself closer and bringing your hand to his neck. You could feel his heartbeat racing underneath your fingers. "I've longed for you so much. So much it's almost embarrassing." You laughed gently, a faint blush appearing at your cheekbones. "Long story short, I've been holding out for you all along. No one is you. And it wouldn't be fair to James, you, or myself if I went through with it."
"Of course. Of course I feel it." You laughed gently, a sly smile tugging at your lips as your fingertips brushed against his skin. "Guess we've been on the same page all along, huh?"
"We're stupid, aren't we?" He laughed, his head leaning into your touch as your hand rose to cup his cheek.
"Definitely."
Aaron allowed himself to look at you, he wouldn't deprive himself any longer. He was free to fully admire you without the fear of being caught - no limitations. Lovesick.
"Are you just going to stare at me all night?" You quipped, a light tease in your voice and with just an admirable gaze at him in return.
"Maybe," He mumbled back as his smile resurfaced, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "There's something else I'd rather do, in fact."
Your heart skipped a beat, "oh?"
"Can I please kiss you?"
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connorsui · 20 days
Text
unspoken affection
Sukuna x reader
Synopsis: In a rare moment of vulnerability, Sukuna allows you to explore the markings on his body
Genre/Warnings: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Soft moments. Implied sexual tension, mentions of Sukuna's intimidating nature, light teasing.
Note: I want to color his tats
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The moonlight barely filters through the room, casting long shadows across Sukuna's muscular form. He lays still, eyes closed, a faint smirk on his lips as your fingers glide over the dark, jagged markings on his skin, tracing each one with an intimacy you've grown familiar with. His breaths are slow and deliberate, though you know he’s awake. He always is. Despite the quiet arrogance that lingers in his aura, the way he pretends to sleep is his subtle way of allowing these tender moments between you to happen.
Your fingers drift along the length of his back, over his broad shoulders, and down the well-defined muscles of his hips, testing your limits and feeling the heat of his body beneath your touch. The marks that cover him pulse with faint energy, a reminder of his formidable power. But here, in this room, under your hand, he is just Sukuna—your Sukuna, though he would never admit it.
His lips quirk slightly when he feels you hesitate, your fingertips hovering near the lowest of the marks, the ones that dip beneath the edge of the sheets. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to feel the heat rising in your cheeks, knowing all too well how easily he can fluster you with nothing but a smug, well-timed comment.
"Still plenty more marks below my hips, if you're interested," his voice, rich and deep, rumbles through the silence, laced with that insufferable arrogance. You swallow, heat rushing to your face, but you press on, unwilling to let him win so easily this time.
Instead of biting back, you lean in closer, your lips brushing the markings along his chest, moving with a deliberate slowness that draws a low, approving hum from him. He shifts, rolling onto his back, four arms spreading lazily across the bed as if inviting you to explore further. His crimson eyes finally open, four of them watching you intently, the gleam of amusement and something deeper lurking behind them.
"You’re quite the bold one tonight," he mutters, the corners of his mouth curving upward as you press a soft kiss to the center of his forehead, right between the small crown of black markings.
But this time, you don’t let his teasing get to you. Instead, you allow your lips to move lower, down the planes of his shoulders and along the corded muscles of his arms, planting gentle kisses onto the skin he pretends is invulnerable. You know better. You've seen it in the way he never pulls away, how he subtly leans into your touch, like he's soaking up the affection he refuses to ask for.
A low chuckle escapes him, but his taunts have softened, replaced by the steady, rhythmic hum of his breathing, as if the sensation of your lips against his skin is enough to quiet even the King of Curses.
You smile against his skin, feeling a strange sense of accomplishment wash over you. For all his bluster and arrogance, beneath the weight of his ancient power and the cruel smirk that never seems to fade, there’s a man who lets you in. One who lies still beneath your touch, his monstrous form revealing small, fleeting moments of vulnerability that are yours alone to witness.
“Are you just going to sit there, or do you plan to finish?” His voice cuts through the silence again, though it lacks its usual bite.
You chuckle softly, pressing a kiss to the dark, jagged mark on his collarbone. “I didn’t know you were so impatient, Sukuna.”
He growls, but there’s no real anger behind it. "You're pushing your luck, woman."
His four hands find their way to your waist, tugging you closer until you're practically draped over him, face pressed to his chest. It's a rare gesture from him, one he covers with arrogance, but you've come to learn the truth behind his seemingly petulant acts. He may not admit it outright, but this—your warmth, your closeness—is what he craves more than anything.
"You could stay like this all day," you tease, your voice muffled against his chest, your fingers tracing patterns along the marks that wind over his skin.
A low hum vibrates through his body, and he shifts, one of his arms snaking up to cradle the back of your head. "If you're so eager to remain in bed, I won't stop you."
You snicker, but it dies down into a soft sigh as you nestle further into him. His warmth surrounds you, the strange comfort of his presence pulling you deeper into the cocoon you've created. He may not say it, but you know—this, too, is how he shows he cares. Even if he would never dare utter the words.
As your hand rests over one of his, you press a soft kiss to his cheek, surprising him into a rare moment of silence. His gaze locks on yours, and for a heartbeat, neither of you speaks.
Sukuna’s eyes flicker with something unspoken, a fleeting glimpse of the man beneath the curse, and though his smirk quickly returns, the warmth in his eyes remains.
"Careful," he murmurs, his voice low and dangerous, "I might get used to this."
You smile, shifting just enough to press your forehead against his. "Maybe that’s the point.”
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I want to show this man what this throat can do
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Note
Yes please! Part 2 of the brothel scene
This is part 2 of this request
Red hair is mentioned as she is to have a resemblance to Alicent…to go with Aemond’s mommy issues
Warnings: Aegon being a bully
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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‘’You would take me on your dragon?’’ 
Aemond nodded. You were the part of his day he looked forward to when he woke up. If the war came to a point where he had to flee, he would take you with him. 
‘’I would take you somewhere safe. Maybe Essos? Have you ever been to Essos?’’
You shook your head, your red hair splayed on the pillows. Smallfolk like you never travel, especially across the Narrow Sea. ‘’I have not.’’ 
‘’Neither have I, unfortunately, Aemond said. I’ve been told it is quite beautiful though.’’ He traced your bottom lip with his thumb, slightly red from your last kiss. He moved a strand of hair out of your face to get a clear view of your expression. His gaze roamed over your face, studying your features as if he was trying to commit every inch to memory. ‘’But not as beautiful as you.’’ 
You blushed a deep shade of red at the prince's words. You were surprised, though not at all opposed to this soft and less guarded side of him.
He slipped closed to you, his lips finding their way to your jaw and neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses down the sensitive skin. You let out a soft moan as Aemond's lips made contact with your skin. His touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt yourself relaxing into his arms. You tangled your fingers in his silver hair, pulling him closer. 
Suddenly, the curtain was pulled open, taking away the privacy and exposing you and Aemond to the eyes of the King and his goons. A laugh snapped Aemond from the kisses he was giving you and turned to look over his shoulder, seeing Aegon — drunk — with four young knights. His laughter continued, but no one joined in the amusement. 
Aemond quickly shifted away from you, settling into a sitting position. He was silent, waiting for Aegon to make some crude comment or laugh at his expense.
You covered yourself with the fabric of your dress, pulling it up over your chest. Although you were used to being naked in front of people, you didn’t feel comfortable under the King’s eyes. 
‘’Aemond the fierce!’’ Aegon mocked in an inebriated tone, pointing at his younger brother. He stepped in the room, his balance a little off, and sat on the bed to further taunt Aemond. ‘’You’ve come so far, and…and yet you still lie with a woman from a pleasure house. You could have anyone from a noble house, but you come here and fuck the cheapest whores.’’ 
The younger Targaryen was not responding, choosing to stay silent. You thought it was a tactic to make Aegon stop, but you realized that this was Aemond accepting his fate and letting Aegon make fun of him during a vulnerable moment. 
‘’Did you fuck her like a hound?’’ Aegon laughed again, then made barking noises. 
The sound made you jump slightly, coming a few inches from your ear. You had never been more uncomfortable and disgusted since you started working here. The sympathy you had for the King when he lost his little son evaporated when you saw he was still the cruel brat who enjoyed tormenting his younger brother. 
You glanced at Aemond, who had not moved a hair from where he sat. He inhaled slowly to calm himself, knowing once Aegon found something to pick at, he never stopped until he was satisfied. You wanted to tell Aegon to leave, for he was making your customer uncomfortable, but he was the King. Any words against him could get you in trouble, or killed.
The King turned to the knights, who were still standing outside the ‘door’, visibly uncomfortable. 
‘’You see, I do not exaggerate such are the whores’ prowesses that even now my brother comes back for them. This one is a fine whore; sweet lips and great tits.’’ Aegon pulled your dress from you, showing off your breasts to his friends. He grabbed one roughly, pinching your nipple just for fun. ‘’Ah, yes, that’s great tits!’’ He looked at his friends again. ‘’Her cunny might be a little loose, after all the cocks who got in but she’s still good to fuck.‘’
This specific comment made Aemond's jaw tighten. God, he wanted to punch Aegon.
For a short second, you thought Aemond would defend you, but he did not. 
Instead, he stood on the bed and faced the knights. ‘’Your squire is welcome to use her as he pleases. One whore is as good as another,’’ he said before stepping down the bed and walking away, not bothering to get his clothes. 
His words stung your heart. You didn’t think Aemond would say that about you. Not after all the time you spent together, getting to know each other. Not after the promise he just made you. You thought there was something between you. But maybe you interpreted your relationship wrong.
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice  @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios  @shine101 @tanyaherondale @mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden @memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen  @domoron  @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08  @mymultiveres  @secretsthathauntus  @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl @darylandbethfanforever9 @darylandbethfanforever9 @aegonswife @dakotapaigelove @jays-bullshit @blublock404 @Icefyre19 @paulilvsremus @mfedits @aemondwhoresworld @angrybirdxx @YarianyIrizarry
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Text
A Cold Night's Warmth
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Summary: On a freezing night after a hunt gone wrong, Dean Winchester quietly offers comfort
It was a cold night, the kind that cut right through your clothes and settled deep in your bones. You and Dean had been walking for what felt like hours, the dirt road stretching out before you under the pale glow of the moon. The hunt had gone sideways, leaving you stranded miles from the bunker with only the faint hope that you might come across a town—or at least a gas station—before the night was over.
The silence between you was comfortable, though. After everything you’d been through, just being alive and together was enough. Still, the chill in the air was relentless, and despite your best efforts to shrug it off, you found yourself shivering.
Dean noticed. He always noticed. He shot you a glance out of the corner of his eye, his brow furrowing in concern. “You okay?” he asked, his voice rough from the cold.
“Yeah,” you replied, trying to sound more convincing than you felt. “Just a little cold.”
He didn’t respond right away, but you could see the wheels turning in his head. He was always looking out for you, always trying to find a way to make things better, even when the situation seemed hopeless.
Without a word, Dean shifted closer to you, his arm brushing against yours as you walked. The small gesture was enough to ease some of the chill, but it wasn’t until you felt his hand slip into yours that the warmth truly spread through you.
The moment his fingers wrapped around yours, your breath caught in your throat. It was such a simple, unexpected gesture, yet it felt like the most significant thing in the world. Dean Winchester didn’t do things like this—he wasn’t the hand-holding type. But here he was, holding your hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
For a few seconds, you just stared down at your joined hands, your heart racing. His hand was warm, strong, and it fit perfectly with yours, like it was meant to be there. When you finally dared to look up at him, you saw that he was staring straight ahead, his jaw set, as if he was trying to pretend that this was no big deal.
But you knew better. You knew how much it took for him to let his guard down, to allow himself even a moment of vulnerability. And the fact that he was doing this now, with you, meant more than words could express.
You squeezed his hand gently, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken connection between you. Dean’s grip tightened in response, just enough to let you know that he felt it too. There was a subtle shift in the air between you, something deeper, something that had been building for a long time but had never quite found its way to the surface.
The road ahead still stretched out endlessly, but it didn’t seem quite so daunting anymore. With Dean by your side, his hand in yours, you felt like you could face anything. The cold, the darkness, the uncertainty of the future—it all seemed a little less frightening with him there.
You walked in silence for a while longer, neither of you feeling the need to speak. The steady rhythm of your footsteps and the warmth of Dean’s hand in yours was enough. It was a quiet kind of comfort, the kind that didn’t need words or explanations. It just was.
Eventually, you came across a small diner, its neon sign flickering in the distance like a beacon of hope. Dean’s pace quickened slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of hot coffee and a warm meal.
As you approached the diner, Dean finally glanced down at you, a small, almost shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Looks like we found our pit stop,” he said, his voice softer than usual.
“Yeah,” you agreed, returning his smile. “Guess we got lucky.”
Dean chuckled, a sound that warmed you almost as much as his hand in yours. “Yeah, maybe we did.”
You didn’t let go of his hand as you walked inside, and he didn’t seem in any hurry to pull away either. As you settled into a booth, the warmth of the diner surrounding you, Dean’s hand still rested on yours, a quiet reassurance that whatever came next, you wouldn’t be facing it alone.
And for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.
Taglist: @roseblue373 @jc-winchester @hobby27 @mishreem
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anantaru · 10 months
Note
Hi Yoru.
Which boys do you think would be most gentle during sex?
including. neuvillette, ayato
cw. soft dom, we love strong men being sweet, fem! reader
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— ꒰ NEUVILLETTE ꒱
the iudex of fontaine neuvillette, who's each respectively admired and respected by the people of his nation.
indeed, he was a mysterious man in quite a lot of ways, and of course with this in mind— there came great responsibilities which the man made his priority to fulfill as good as he was able to.
until his dying breath.
to say that he was strong was a clear understatement, but even someone such as neuvillette can find himself rather fatigued at times, especially when he always tends to go well over his capabilities for the people around him.
it has not always been this way, however, whenever he found himself in an exhausted state of mind, he instantly comes rushing home to you, and neuvillette will not admit it, he simply cannot, but he had missed you so very much that it was burning a deep hole in his heart.
it's difficult to be vulnerable, and in the beginning he believed that being open and unshielded in front of you might make you view him in a different kind of light— because in his own very mind, neuvillette wanted, no, he needed to look powerful and almighty for your sake.
you are his everything, and he promised himself to never suffer from another loss in his life again, more so protect you to the fullest extent.
"ahh, it's okay," you utter in a sweet voice, instantly noticing how neuvillette's breathing hitched and his muscles relaxed, but you can more importantly feel the overeager acceleration of his hips grinding into your warm cunt, so eager it made you giggle,
"you're here now," your hands slowly cup his cheeks as he melts into your touch, a soft smile parting from his lips as neuvillette sighs in appreciation of you, "you're home now,"
now, heed yourself, because if you believe that you would be able to make neuvillette relax under this particular choice of words, you were clearly mistaken because with displaying it to him all exposed and while he pleasured you, infused with real desire, his heart burns through his strong chest as he let his lips trace the breadth of your cheek, lingering across your ear as his teeth sank into the nape of your neck, claiming you and deepening the approaching orgasm flooding through you from the very inside.
the greedy roll of his groin into your cunt was fast and ruthless, the repeated sounds of skin buzzing over skin slices across the shells of your ears as he begins to squeeze and knead the fat of your ass in his palms— to get a good hold on it, you know?
so neuvillette can twist and turn you against him as he pleases, fitting his hips in between your legs so perfectly that your walls shape a little too well around his throbbing length, his erection snugly tucked in as you pitch your hips up to receive his fast thrusts.
the way he handled you was interesting— both rough and soft that you're smiling from head to toe, the thought that neuvillette would never forget to be gentle with you despite the bundled up heat in his chest, he'd always fuck you right and nasty, his deep thrusts rattling through your skin that you think you'll bruise once he's done with you, your pitchy sobs uncontrolled at every draw his hips fucking you hard, plunging deep.
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— ꒰ AYATO ꒱
the dizzying intensity of ayato's thrusts, the focused face when he grinds himself a little deeper in you, and lastly, the complete authority he held given his position were the key factors on your current state— his hands tight around your wrists, his dripping cock in a possessive hold that burned away the worries churning his mind and downed it to a single spark of nothingness, replacing it with deep need to feel and taste you all around him.
you'd think with all of this considered, most people honestly wouldn't believe that your boyfriend was actually anything else other than frightening and mysterious in his own rights— yet they do not know him the way you did, because ayato decided to show you his real, unprotected self.
when he comes home to you after a rough day consisting of his responsibilities, it was the best thing ever, something he was looking forward to each day— being enveloped by your warm hold while he nuzzles his face in the nook of your neck was the most soothing piece in his life.
your intoxicating scent and how you tasted would absolutely relax him— one kiss and he melts under your trace, although do not get fooled because it would also turn him on, your delicate touches and candid little kisses going straight to his cock like a strong bold of lightning of some kind, setting his loins on fire.
and ayato believes he must be dreaming when you finally lead him to the bedroom, carefully discarding the clothes he wore and taking your sweet time with undressing him, placing each individual piece next to you— never forgetting to be content when he exhales shakily at the way you soothed yourself on him, then he flinches when your cool finger pads slide across his strong abs, never stopping to admire his beauty like you completely worshipped him, just as much as he worshipped you.
with that out of the way, ayato's new choice of voice was low and commanding, it was mind altering to the point where it made a slight shiver manifest and run down your spine as he fills your cunt with the speed of lust and love.
your pussy was dripping through his shaft pistoling in and out until he's pushing hard and fast into you— both lost in the restless friction as you listen to the crumbling whimpers concealed behind his restless groans. your room was engulfed by the scent of sex and pheromones as you arch your back into his touch, your eyes drifting close on a fresh surge of lust splitting your pussy in half, head rolling aside in easy surrender.
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©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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devilmademewriteit · 1 year
Text
Playing Dangerous
part 2 of Salvatore
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pairing: javier peña x afab!fem!reader
summary: sure, the fact that he’d schemed up an entire, elaborate ruse to get between your legs was upsetting. more upsetting was the fact that he refused to fess up, insisting that you needed to be protected (or at the very least—cautious) because your life was in ‘grave danger.’ most upsetting, however? that would be the fact that through it all and above everything else, you still wanted him—badly.
warnings: rough sex/smut (fingering, fem penetration, oral [m receiving]) so 18+ only content; afab fem reader; mentions of reader having long hair; bratty!reader; brat-tamer!javi; alcohol consumption; smoking; pet names (baby, sweetheart, cariño, hermosa); some angst; dubcon (slight intoxication, power imbalance, age gap).
word count: 10.7k (sorry again)
no use of y/n in this fic
hello here is part twooooo! thank you for all the love on Salvatore I absolutely love all of you so much. you don't rly need to read p1 to enjoy this, just know that: reader is the ambassador's secretary and is an asshole, Javi is also an asshole, they fucked for the first time a few days ago b/c he took her home after someone seemed to be after her life.
don’t forget to join the taglist if you’re nasty; feedback, asks, comments, smoke signals and carrier pigeons always welcome. kisses. -em<3
read part 3, Dark Paradise, here.
Let’s get in the back of your cop car, officer! - Playing Dangerous
“I am not speaking to you.”
Murphy’s eyes come alive with exasperation, a striking shift from their usual half-asleep, perpetually vacant gawp. Not quite at the point of impatience yet, his voice is soft when he responds.
“Please.”
You lean back in your chair, crossing your arms. An impassive sneer makes its way onto your expression.
Not a fucking chance.
Not only were you not planning on ever doing Steve Murphy—and especially, his asshole partner—even the smallest of favours throughout your remaining time on this godforsaken planet, you’d come to the conclusion (quite recently, in fact) that you’d rather dance barefoot on broken glass than be in the same room as either member of the pair.
And it was a shame, really.
After that (now regrettable, once incredible) night at Peña’s place, everything had been fine.
More than fine. Not even awkward.
For a glorious moment, waking up next to him, ruined and sore and bruised and satisfied, sharing a morning coffee and then a ride to work—peace (and the planted seeds of something else, too) had finally settled across the worn-in battlegrounds between you, solid roots spreading with each passing second spent not bickering. For crying out loud, when he’d gotten called away to Bogotá that very same day, you’d put yourself to work keeping his place clean, going so far as to anticipate his return.
Everything had been fine.
Until, of course, you’d gotten the old Chevy serviced.
“Car’s running fine, señorita. Put that missing part back, s’good to go.”
“Missing part?”
“The spark plug—wasn’t in there when we looked.”
And the missing pieces fell into place.
How he’d waltzed into your car earlier on in the day, running his fingers along the hard, hot plastic of the dash—analyzing, observing, and finally commenting on your shitty engine. Then, he’d been conveniently there, waiting for you in the middle of the night, watching you wrestle your hood open in the parking lot after work. Hell, he took you to his place after he’d told you he'd seen a shady truck parked in front of yours… and you’d trusted him.
Without bothering to check for yourself, you’d trusted him.
You had to hand it to the man; it was a clever plan. Wear you down during the day only to corner you while alone, vulnerable, and at night, with no possible avenues for escape.
All to get inside your pants.
God.
Murphy huffs, bringing you back down to Earth. “Listen,” he rubs his temples, exhaustion weighing down the curves of shoulders, “We just want to make sure you’re safe. You don’t have to stay with him, either; Connie—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” you snap, narrowing your eyes in full view of his own. “I keep wondering, though... seeing as you're… thick as thieves, these days,” you lean forward over your desk, studying his swallow. “Was it you that shot off that gun? Or did he get someone else to participate in his little scheme?”
The agent tilts his head to the side, putting on the air of a wordless 'really, sweetheart?' before launching into a recitation of a sorely well-versed explanation.
But you cut him off, unforgiving in your suspicion. “Don’t bother, alright? Even if I did believe that, what, some 'cartel sicario'—” you emphasize the ridiculousness of the statement by tossing up a couple of well-timed air quotes “—was after me…?” and then you’re gesturing wildly to yourself, fingertips pointed straight to your heart. “I would rather die—really, seriously, die—than step foot into your home—or-or fucking Peña’s—Ever. Again.”
The mounting ire behind your breathless rambling finally wears him down; he surrenders his complexion to a look of genuine defeat. His arms drop to his sides, heavy and limp.
As you try to appear busy, fidgeting with the scattered papers and documents lying listlessly across your desk, Murphy turns on his heels, stooping toward the exit.
For a brief moment, he hesitates, coming to a slow halt halfway down his holy pilgrimage of freeing you from his fucking presence.
“Did you…” and he briefly trails off, anticipating your wrath with a wince. “Did you fill out that form?”
Irritation clouds your thoughts. Its manifestations in your body feel almost violent.
“What do you think, genius?”
You scare yourself with the aggression underpinning each and every word.
Inside the safety of your mind, your inner dialogue treats him even worse.
Go, motherfucker. Go, go, go, go, go or I’ll tear us both apart, I’ll explode, I’ll—
You hope that it’s Luck listening to your prayers (and not God), because as soon as your brain has time to register the nature of your wicked, near sacrilegious thoughts toward the man, Murphy’s yellow-dusted crown is drooping down in eventual resignation, leading the way as he trudges back to his corner.
A relief.
A short lived one.
Too short.
Because…
Well, because those fucking memories won’t stop replaying inside your mind, etched like crude Botticellis on the backs of your eyelids.
Overlaying the non-stop highlight reel of a vicious fight with Peña, just that morning—
“Well, I didn’t see a car. What I saw was you, whipping me over to your fuck-pad—and now? I see your whole... fucking masterplan to get me into bed.”
“You’re talking fuckin’ crazy. There’s no pussy in the world that’s worth pulling all that.”
—are flashes of his bare, glistening chest, an almost tangible haze of longing obscuring his eyes. You’d taken him in your mouth; you’d felt him all over: against you, with you, inside you.
And when you’re not seeing him, you’re forced to hear him, over and over and over again.
“You fuckin’ sing for me when you’re comin’ on my cock.”
So, you push certain memories away by calling on certain others, repeating every cruel word you’d ever exchanged with each other like a mantra, an affirmation.
They remind you of the man that Javier Peña truly was.
“You are the worst person I’ve ever had the shit-luck of meeting, Peña.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not too crazy about you, either. Got some serious growin’ up to do, sweetheart.”
A loud snap wrenches you back to your senses. You unfurl your fingers to reveal the broken remnants of a poor, innocent pencil you’d been white-knuckle-death-gripping.
What really had you ticking was that, after you’d hurled accusations and insults at him for the better part of an hour—totally monopolizing the space of the familiar, dusty old filing room—he’d had the nerve to continue on with his little act.
“You don’t have to stay with me—”
And his voice had been coated in poison, laced with the kind of fiery contempt that surely only a guilty man could achieve.
“—but do me a favour and just don’t be a fuckin’ idiot. It’s shit work, hiring new secretaries.”
He hadn’t waited around for an answer, leaving you alone with his final words and a mountain of your own unsaid ones.
So, you’d hissed a “fuck off” to the lingering ghost of his presence in the room, trying, in vain, to slow your shallow breaths.
You heave a sigh, forehead dropping to lay heavy against the desk.
If only you could take your brain out for the day. If only you could run it under cold water. Better yet, if only you could scrub it clean with bleach, put it in the dishwasher, run it with the damn laundry—anything to make it shiny and new and untainted.
Peña was lying.
He had to be lying.
What kind of shit sicario goes after secretaries who, beyond not knowing what they’re supposed to know about, don’t care enough to actually retain any of it?
Not a good sicario. Definitely not one who would still be alive in Medellìn, today.
It was all bullshit.
~
You weren’t the kind of person who attended work parties.
They always ran excruciatingly long. On top of that, you had to watch traumatized coworkers drink. A lot. Then, there was, of course, after-hours work-talk.
None of that had ever screamed 'best night ever!' to you.
Tonight, however, you hadn’t been given a choice: the ambassador had needed 'someone there, you know, just in case work stuff comes up’ which really meant that she was banking on you to give her a ride home at the end of the night.
Like that was happening. She hadn't been pleased when you'd made it clear to her that you were out of commission, off-the-clock, done-zo starting at fifteen to ten. You'd hoped that, at that point, she would've rescinded her original request. 
She hadn't. 
Still, Noonan had spent the week being remarkably kind to you—maybe her invitation was her (deeply misguided) way of trying to make up for the shit-storm she’d watched you face over past few days (whether she believed Peña’s dystopian, hitman fantasy was uncertain; either way, she’d witnessed your torment at his hands, and both realities seemed equally as emotionally taxing).
Despite all the hints you’d dropped about wanting the night off, she either hadn’t noticed, hadn’t cared, or thought you were just trying to be polite.
Come on.
She’d been your boss long enough to know there was no chance of you pussy-footing around out of politeness.
The event was meant to commemorate some big accomplishment—a narco sting gone right (or else, some big narco boss gone six-feet-under). The reason behind the festivities wasn’t of any importance to you—getting through the next few hours as quickly and as painlessly as possible took up all of the remaining (albeit limited) space in your head.
Because, afterwards? You were going out. 
A good friend’s bachelorette, a shit-ton of dark tequila, and the warm lips of a total stranger.
God, you needed that. Every intimate spot on your body was in desperate need of a cleanse. Your tongue, the soft skin between your thighs, the peach-fuzz on your cheeks…
They remembered him.
They made sure you couldn’t forget him.
About half-way through serving your sentence in regulatory purgatory, someone turns on the stereo. A Queen song—the one that everyone knows. You’re looking around, trying to locate the source of the sound.
It’s mostly administrative and political bodies crowding up the office's stuffy foyer. There’s an odd clink of glass meeting glass whenever someone new walks in, or else when a deal’s finally graduated beyond the negotiation stage.
It’s too highbrow, too boring and white-collar for restless DEA agents, you remind yourself.
Slowly, slowly the hours trickle by.
The music helps—every Diaz song has the minutes moving double-time.
And after what feels like centuries of excruciating small-talk, of brushing off endless, casual condescension, of staring at the clock hanging off the wall, finally, it’s time to go.
First, a last minute change (you’re not wearing a damn button-up to the bar—it’ll be a tight dress and cute shoes or absolutely nothing at all) and a quick refresher in the bathroom. Then, you’re trailing a bee-line towards the exit with 'home-free' on the tip of your tongue. 
Keep your head down. Nod. A chagrined smile to each pair of gawking eyes.
‘Cause soon? You’ll be dancing.
You’re straddling the office doors, left foot in, right foot out when an authoritative voice calls your name from behind.
Christ Almighty.
Turning slowly, you find yourself triangulated between Noonan and…
Fucking Steve Murphy.
That one looks apprehensive. The former?
A bit red in the face.
“Murphy, here,” the ambassador gestures sloppily towards the agent’s uneasy form, “Tells me he needs something. Papers, right? Think we can get that to him before you leave for your… little soirée—what do you say?”
She doesn’t catch it, but he does; your unbridled, aversive stare pierces him right between his eyes. Forcing it down (and oh, does it ever burn your throat) you etch a reluctant smile, nodding wordlessly to your boss.
God, if only money were an object. This damn job would be a short paragraph on your resume, a blip in your timeline on this Earth.
Noonan slaps Murphy on the back, harrumphing as though she’d just solved world hunger. Quickly, she finds someone new to accost (or be accosted by), swept into a different, equally-boring conversation before you can even begin to feel angry at her for putting you into such a… distasteful position.
And you whir on him.
Before the rush of accusations gets a chance to part from your lips, Murphy interrupts you, putting his hands up in mock surrender.
“I didn’t say a thing.” He sounds serious, sincere. “Swear. She came up to me and just… knew all about it.”
You narrow your eyes in suspicion. Nonetheless, your fingernails slowly retreat from their burrows in the skin of your palm.
It’s not because of his earnestness.
No.
It’s because only a serious maniac would flaunt their under-the-table bullshit so publicly, flying it right under the ambassador’s nose. Whatever those records were for (and whatever the reason why Peña and Murphy so badly needed them), it was becoming increasingly clear that they were not intended to land in either of their hands.
Murphy hadn’t been nervous because of you. He’d been nervous because of her. A little less drink, a bit more curiosity, and Noonan would've been privy to whatever it was that the pair was up to.
“Fine.”
He exhales, shoulders relaxing, dropping like stones with the release.
Without another word, you make your way down the hall, charging toward the alcove harboring your desk. Murphy trails behind, five feet back at all times like a recently-scolded school-child.
Good.
It takes a few, long minutes to get the job done.
He waits around anxiously, fiddling with your stationary (until you slap his hand away from your beloved pens and planners) and pacing around the room.
When it's done, you don’t read the form, you don’t investigate. The less you know, the better.
And frankly?
You couldn’t give less of a shit.
As the papers slide out of the printer, you warn him: “You’re gonna need a signature from their side, you know. I can only get you so far.”
He nods, taking the precious sheets in hand. “Think we got that side covered.” Then, he’s reading them over, checking to make sure everything's in order. You stand with your hand on your hip, waiting impatiently for his goddamn approval. After an eternity (really—by the end of it you’re genuinely wondering whether the man should get tested for dyslexia), Murphy hums in satisfaction, giving you an awkward, “Thanks, again.”
You scoff, crossing your arms over your half-exposed chest.
Didn’t even thank me a first time, asshole.
He spins around, aiming for the exit, when another body appears before him.
And the man stops Murphy in his tracks, deep-brown eyes trailing down to the packet of papers cradled between his partner's hands.
“Noonan came through, then.”
It’s all he says.
Your nostrils flare.
The skin on your face positively burns.
Of course it had been him. He was probably the entire reason behind the ambassador’s unusual tipsyness, too. Hell, he’d probably fed her Prosecco and half-compliments ‘til she’d been more than happy to do him a million favours.
Wasn’t that his M.O., anyways? ‘Get ‘em drunk and get my way?’
Three comfortable, familiar words find themselves sliding—easily—off your tongue.
“Fuck off, Peña.”
You surprise yourself with the cruelty of your tone, the biting emphasis of each word.
He settles his onyx eyes on you. They glaze over with hunger, with amusement, with danger.
Fuck.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, sweetheart—I will in a minute,” and he nods at his partner, effectively dismissing him.
Murphy hesitates, eyes jumping between the stand-off taking place before him. Likely, he was trying to decide which one of you was going to murder the other first.
Finally, with his beloved form tucked under his arm, Murphy heaves a sigh of resignation, and then he’s gone.
Leaving you alone with Peña.
The corners of his lips pull back into an arrogant smirk as his eyes rake over your body—done up, dressed down, and positively fuming in your little kitten heels.
“You look hot.”
It’s all he says.
Some girls would’ve killed to hear those words from him. You’d spent years watching their eyes trail his movements in the office, listening to their puling voices—'is Javi there?'—over the phone.
But it just makes you want to scream.
Fearing the actual possibility of that coming to fruition, you keep your mouth sealed shut. Tight.
Silence won’t do for Peña.
“What’d you tell me, once?” He muses softly, making his way towards your desk. “Somethin’ about this place not bein’ a… a what’d you call it? A brothel?”
Dog.
He yanks a retort from your lips as if he had full command over them. “I’m going out, asshole.”
His face twitches ever-so-slightly, just enough for you to catch the hint of emotion. Then, it’s gone.
“No, you’re not.”
Casual as ever, he does that thing: runs a finger from the corner of his bottom lip down the length of it, looks up at you through thick, dark eyebrows.
You bristle at the sheer, unwinding effect it has on you.
“Yes, I am.”
He raps his knuckles against the desk in irritation; nevertheless, his voice is soft, imploring as he persists. “C’mon, baby. I need you to listen to me, right now. It’s..." and he undresses you with a mere look, "It's not a good time for you to be goin’ to those kinds of places.”
Just like any other man.
Probably, Peña’s ego was so over-inflated that the mere thought of any of his conquests colluding with another man had him on the brink of spontaneous combustion.
Because God forbid you fuck anyone else.
God forbid you even think of touching anyone else.
And this strange, uncharacteristic possessiveness, this… need for control—it was wearing extremely thin.
The man had zero authority over you. He certainly didn’t get to preside over the choices you made during your free time.
“Don’t call me baby, Peña—I’m not your baby.” The snapped retort makes you sound so young, to the point where, for a moment,  you understand why the agent had called you a brat so many times that one, fateful night.
Still, you soldier on, focussed on freeing yourself from yet another one of the evening's grueling set-backs. “And I’m not gonna ‘listen to you’ just ‘cause you think you’ve got some sort of… machismo claim over me.”
A deft muscle in his jaw tenses. He rounds the desk, moving just a half-foot closer to you; that alone is enough to jump-start your heart, and you’re almost sure he can hear it, jack-hammering away inside your chest. You both know that being the first to step away signified weakness—concession—so you stay put (even when your legs yield to a slight wobble).
And he’s almost crooning. “You can spread those legs for half the country, for all I care, baby.” A condescending look, cast down at you over the bridge of his nose. “Not what this is about.”
Yeah, right.
“Please.” You roll your eyes. “Still working that angle?”
He takes a step forward. “Is it so crazy to think that I could just be tryna look out for you?” Meeting your gaze, he speaks earnestly—pleading through his irritation.
“I don’t need you to ‘look out for me’,” Your back grazes against the ambassador’s doors—you kick yourself internally for having subconsciously conceded to a back-step. “Especially not since the last time I thought that’s what this was?” your fingers gesture wildly between the (lack of) space separating your bodies, “You totally took advantage of me.”
A pause as the agent fluctuates from bafflement to genuine offense.
“Took adv—are you being serious?” he scoffs, shaking the coarse, dark hair on his crown. “I gave you, like, one drink.”
Victory courses through your veins at the sudden, intense flood of irritation marking his tone, the vein popping in his jaw. 
Anything to get to him, to make him tick, to scratch that itch. 
Dig. Dig. Dig.
A shrug. “Maybe you put something in it.”
His eyebrows jump up, eyes widening with the movement.
Just. So. Close.
“And… you know, I am a lot younger than you—”
“—okay, enough.”
Peña’s growled response has your voice fizzling out into nothingness. Closing what’s left of the distance between you, muscled form looming, he flattens you against the ambassador’s office doors. As one large hand slowly splays out next to your ear, the other comes up to grasp your chin. His fingers wrap around your jawbone, all the way from one ear to the other. 
You’re stuck, frozen under the weight of that dominant leer.
“Y’know,” he muses, deep and low, “It’s really fuckin’ obvious what all this is actually about, sweetheart.” Trapped in his glare, you watch his eyes grow dark, his gravelly voice falling into a register you’d never before heard it descend to. And he’s so, so close to you, close enough that you can smell him: that distinct, earthy scent of man that never failed to have your head spinning, your arms weak. “This… highschool bullshit you’ve been pullin’ since I got back… accusin’ me of all kinds of shit—"
You deny yourself the pleasure of looking at his lips when his words withdraw into an almost-whisper.
“Makes you feel real innocent, doesn’t it?
You don’t respond, concentrating on stifling the growing ache in your core, the thump-thump-thumps inside your rib cage, the lump forming in your throat.
A rarity, a miracle, Jesus turning water into wine: words fail you. 
“Know what I think, cariño?” His fingernails press into your cheeks, digging soft indents. Not to bruise—
To hold you steady.
To assure himself of his command over your full, devoted attention.
When he finally continues, his smoky breath raises the hairs along your exposed skin.
God, it must be, like, nine-hundred degrees in the room.
“I think”—and he’s toying with you, near-black eyes dancing with amusement—“You’re just embarrassed.”
Leaning in, his lips brush against the ridges of your ear, slow words washing over you in big, heavy waves. “‘Bout how easy it was for me to get between these legs.” Male, calloused fingers ghost over the skin of your thighs, creeping higher and higher up the length of your body.
“Remember how wet you got for me, cariño? Beggin’ me to fuck you so rough?”
And for a brief, suspended moment—
You do.
He leans back enough for you to watch his eyes harden, uttering an “I remember it all, baby,” as his thumb leaves your jaw to trace the highest point of your cheekbone.
And his tone turns to stone. 
“Especially when you’re acting like you need a fuckin’ reminder.”
Your cheeks grow red-hot. The ground feels unsteady under your feet—and the spell breaks.
Pig.
“You’re fucking vile, Peña,” you spit, wrenching his grip off your face. “And also, dead wrong.” Slamming into his shoulder, you aim to storm out.
He catches your arm, twisting you back around to face him. “If you go out tonight,” the man near-growls, lecturing down at you like a damn parent, “You’re putting your life and everyone else's on the line.”
You tear your wrist from his fingers, shrugging off his empty warning with a dramatic spin on your heels.
Strutting out, you leave him with a poison-coated, “Say ‘hi’ to the whores for me.”
And you’re gone.
~
It’s loud. Your feet are sore from dancing in your heels. A different, unfamiliar body is in reach in every possible direction from your own.
It’s perfect.
Five shots in and you still feel like you could take more, if only to forget the exhausting events of the day.
Less than 48 hours ago you’d been prepared—dear God, longing—to hand yourself over to a man you were now quite happy to never see again. With your hands wrapped around a stranger’s neck, you’re determined to cleanse yourself of his lingering traces.
He’s gazing down at you, male, hungry eyes gunning for the taking. Local, you guess, or at the very least South-American. After a daring look, you grab him by the collar, brushing your starved lips against his.
“Want to get out of here?”
The pronunciation isn’t great—but it does the trick. He nods enthusiastically, allowing you to take his hand in your own without hesitation. Too easy. The hard part is weaving through the agitated, bustling crowd with your nameless partner in tow.
It’s reckless. It’s stupid. But God, is it ever necessary.
Escaping your friends at the start of the night had been child’s play, and they could be counted on to be too fucked-up at this hour to notice your absence, anyway.
Good.
Your act of desperation would be remembered solely by its participants.
A gentle evening wind swirls around your tingling body, the day’s heat hanging thick in the air as you step onto the street, the syncopated thumps of Latin music fading unwillingly into the background.
Pivoting abruptly, you flatten yourself against the wall outside, pulling the stranger in close by the fabric of his blue button-up.
“Yours or mine?”
He smirks, gentle lines forming by his golden eyes. Internally, you commend yourself: the catch was quite pretty.
“Here is okay, I think.”
Then, his lips are on yours, parting you open in a sloppy, drunk kiss.
This could work.
His traveling hands already seem to be numbing some of the tension simmering under your skin.
This could work.
His rough kisses overwhelm your senses, slowly filling the hollow ache lodged at the heart of your core.
Please, God—let this work.
Just as a hand reaches up to cradle the back of your neck—
(let this work, let this work, let this work)—
Just as a pleased moan travels from your lungs into his own—
Tires screech against the pavement, slamming you back into your body, wrenching you straight into the dire moment. Tearing your lips from the stranger’s, you peer over his shoulder, eyes widening at the sight of a black Camino screaming to a stop right before you. Time stops; the windows are down, and what you know to be the barrel of a hand-gun pokes out from the backseat.
“Get down!”
Maybe it's in your head (after all, it would make sense for your psyche to summon his voice in a moment so violent); or maybe it's real. Either way, you listen to the command, hitting the ground without any reservations. And those stupid heels—you stumble, face-planting onto the pavement, scraping every exposed part of your body against hot, rough cement.
A cry of terror rips from your throat as the sound of bullets punctuates the warm, summer night—Jesus, it’s louder than anything you’d ever heard before. 
Somewhere along the chaos, the pretty stranger from the bar books it down the calle.
Everything happens so fast. A familiar Cherokee veers in the way, separating you from the attackers. The surrounding air becomes rife with lead, a terrified chorus of male and female voices joining the symphony, and you really can’t tell whether the pain in your chest is from the friction of your own harmonizing screams or if it’s bullets tearing through your body. From the ground, you watch your attackers’ vehicle take off down the street, haphazardly parting crowds of cowering civilians in its wake.
When it all stops, it doesn’t really stop.
Violence persists, ringing in your ears like a doomsday clock going off, an A-bomb alarm siren. The echoes are happy to prolong your torment.
The Jeep’s passenger door swings open. You scramble back, scampering down the pavement as adrenaline claims you in never-ending rushes.
“Get inside, now.”
You nearly sob with relief at the familiar voice. It hadn't all been in your head. Jumping up on unstable legs, you lunge into his car, jerking the door shut behind you.
Without sparing a moment, his white-knuckled hands yank the wheel to the side, veering onto a road just off the main strip.
Javier Peña’s never looked so stressed.
“You’re not gonna follow them?” It comes out as a cry, a desperate plea for retribution.
He doesn’t answer.
Which doesn’t stop you.
You want to see them punished for making you feel so helpless, and for the scrapes and bruises decorating your elbows, your knees, your palms.
“Javi,” a begging king of shout, “Why aren’t we following them?”
“‘Cause you’re in the fucking car!”
In the heat of the moment, the cutting edge of his harsh tone doesn’t bother you. If anything, it’s gentle compared to the violent sensations stewing within your body and mind.
“So?”
He takes a sharp right, slamming your side against the Jeep’s hard interior.
“Been in enough…” He grits his teeth, trying to keep his irritation in check, “Compromising situations tonight, alright? Now, just shut up ‘n let me drive.”
You pipe down, not awfully interested in getting yelled at again in your fragile state.
At first, it feels like the full-body trembles wracking your entire being won’t ever cease. And yet, by the grace of God, after a few minutes, the thundering behind your ribcage slowly subsides.
It helps that you’re still a little buzzed.
It especially helps when his driving slows and the streets begin to empty—when the shops and houses become more and more recognizable, when the night grows more and more tame.
You know where he’s headed. The safety of the intended destination has you relaxing, finally level enough to take deep breaths.
Eventually, he stops the car, cutting the engine in full view of his building's front door.
The rumbling stops, and suddenly, it's very quiet. Javier groans, leaning back against his seat, bringing a hand up to his temples. He doesn’t look at you, keeping his eyes closed behind the palm of his hand.
And oh.
He’s pissed.
“Go inside, lock the door, don’t open it for anyone.” His command, though dripping with ire, is underpinned with genuine concern. When you don’t respond, he finally shifts his gaze to meet yours, fixing you with an intimidating, severe kind of stare.
“Do you understand?”
At first, your impulse is to respond with a bitchy retort, to meet his intensity head-on with your own brand of unpleasantness. You stifle that reflex, taking stock of the situation at hand: Peña had just saved you from a flurry of bullets.
Peña… had just saved you…
And the realization hits you like a punch to the gut.
He’d been telling the truth.
Someone was really after you. Twice, now, they'd tried to take your life.
And, still? Your addled brain can’t seem to wrap itself around the idea of Peña’s innocence. Your bursting question takes you both by surprise.
“So, you didn’t take my spark plug?”
He stares at you, full mouth parted in genuine bewilderment. Then, he scoffs, breathing an exhausted exhalation. “No, I didn’t take your damn spark plug, sweetheart. That’s what I’ve been saying. If you’d bothered to actually fuckin’ listen for once in your life…” he shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “‘Could’ve avoided all… this.”
Shame tries its best to seep into your core. You resist it, scrambling for reasons to justify your actions to him.
To yourself.
You hated being wrong. That feeling had a tendency of overwhelming everything else—of overriding rationality, itself.
So, you turn to a classic defense, an ol' reliable: deflection. “After all the shit you’ve put me through over the years, can you blame me for not, just like, blindly trusting you?”
He scowls, angling his shoulders to square off with your own.
“Never asked for you to ‘blindly trust’ shit, though, did I?” He huffs, “Jesus.” 
You try not to wince as he continues on, as the truth of his words and the seriousness of his delivery render you mute. “You’re a secretary, sweetheart. This is my job—my life—okay? When I tell you to be careful, for the sake of your own damn good, you need to listen to me.”
There’s a long pause as his words tease out your final, entangled threads of resistance.
He was right. You’d been stupid in your denial, putting yourself and dozens of others in danger.
Putting Javi in danger.
It takes everything you have to fight the tears threatening to well along your lashes. But there's no sense in allowing yourself to mourn your mistakes—at least not at this very moment.
No, now was not the time to work through your shame.
Now was the time to seek forgiveness.
To make amends.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, trying to catch his downcast eyes. 
And it’s true.
Javi shakes his head, resisting your apology. He says nothing, and your heart aches for him.
Whatever this man was—he hadn’t deserved a fraction of the hell you’d given him.
The hell you’d given him because…
Because he’d gotten close. Too close. Close enough to soften you, to see you in a way that not one single person had the right to. He’d been a novelty: the first man you’d trusted enough to be capable of handling the full breadth of yourself. And when that had started to feel volatile—as though he’d gained too much of you?
Well, you’d needed a reason to push him away. To wrench yourself back from him.
Because you’d been embarrassed.
Knowing that he’d been right about that, too, makes you feel so small, so young, and deeply naive.
Immature.
You lean over, crooning at his turned profile.
“I mean it, Javi.” His name is your weapon—you will it to wear him down—a reminder of what it sounds like leaving your lips. “I’m sorry.”
Again, silence.
It’s fucking unbearable.
Placing an unsteady hand on his knee, you trail it up his thigh—slowly. His chest hitches with the force of a deep, sharp inhale and yet, he still refuses to meet your gaze.
But you catch his reflection in the glass: a slight twinge of the eyebrows, a delicate parting of the lips, and a hint of longing within those furious eyes.
Wiggle room.
“Could you ever forgive me?” You ask timidly, seductively, fingers creeping towards the crease of his trousers and that big silver buckle looming right above it.
Finally, he turns, his expression meeting yours with a hungry (albeit still deeply annoyed) look.
That wanting you’d learned to recognize…
It excites you.
And as you tug at his belt, releasing it with tantalizing slowness, you keep your steady gaze on his undecided one, uttering a pleading, “I can make it up to you, baby.”
Wordlessly, he watches your fingers move to the button of his pants, then to his fly, working with dedication, with delicate care.
There’s movement as you reach your fingers underneath the fabric. He grows hard for you, burgeoning out of the fabric in a matter of seconds.
It’s all the invitation you could’ve possibly hoped for.
His skin is hot against your knuckles as they slide down his lower abdomen. Grasping the base of his cock, you use two hands to spring him free.
God, he’s even bigger than how you’d remembered him—bigger than even your guiltiest fantasies.
Javi groans softly when you pull him, releases a hot, shallow breath when you stroke him, and a low, breathy “fuuuck” when you finally, finally take him in your mouth.
He tastes like the salt of the ocean. This close, you can smell men's cologne mingling with sweat.
It’s heaven.
And you just don’t want him to be angry anymore. It’s all you can think about—lips cradled adoringly around his cock, tongue running up and down the long length of him—as he throws his head back in pleasure.
He eventually relaxes, conceding to the ecstasy you persuade him with. Almost drinking the uncertainty—the resistance—right out of him.
“Christ,” he groans, tangling his fingers in your hair, forcing you to take in every last inch of him. “Wanted to shut you up like this all fuckin’ day.”
It becomes a challenge to breathe, but air simply isn’t a priority with a man like him at your fingertips, as your responsibility. This, he knows, his heavy hand determining the slow, careful pace, the impossible depth, and the angle of your unspoken apology.
Growing wet and lightheaded at the same time, you loose a moan against his velvety skin.
Javi laughs, darkly. “Always got somethin’ to say, huh? Even with a mouth full of cock.”
You smile around him—taunts are good. Better than silence, anyways. “Mhmm.”
The sounds of his laughter rumbles soft and low throughout his middle—so different, so sweet and innocent compared to the wet, filthy ones produced by your mouth’s ministrations.
You give him everything you have, ignoring the droplets forming in the corners of your eyes and lips, the dull burning inside your lungs. When the tip of his cock lodges at the back of your throat, you keep him there.
Whatever Javi gives you, you take.
Happily.
Every last drop would find its home inside you, traveling down the length of your tongue and into all of your warmest places.
It was the least you could do for him.
But he has other plans. His hand bunches up your hair, tightening into a fist to pull you off of him. His cock pops out from between your lips; you’re guided up to face him.
He looks stern.
Dangerous.
Out of breath, tears sliding down your cheeks, lips glistening with the slick of your own spit—you’re a welcome sight to any man of his kind.
“Say it.”
He makes use of his free hand, wiping the coarse pad of his thumb over your bottom lip, clearing the string of saliva collecting there.
It’s not rocket science, figuring out what it is that the man wants to hear.
“I’m sorry, Javi.”
Neither of you had ever known how much an apology could sound like a prayer.
“Yeah?” Despite the gentleness of his tone, his eyes darken with lust to the point that you feel genuinely nervous about his intentions. “What are you so sorry for, hermosa?”
Fuck, the pet-names... the way his voice changed when reverting to its native tongue—rolling with confidence. At such an awkward angle, you’re forced to grip onto his forearms to keep balance. They feel strong and unbending beneath your fingertips. 
Everything… everything about him draws you in.
He just makes you crazy.
Crazy enough to smile, to turn your profile to the side, laying a long, careful kiss to his palm. Crazy enough to answer his question in a needy, whiney whisper: “for being such a brat.”
He almost smiles, near-black eyes dancing with hunger, with approval, with a playful kind of ire.
Jerking his head to the right, he gestures to the backseat. “Wanna show me how sorry you are, cariño?”
You’re nodding before the question really even registers.
He releases his hold on you, deft fingers quickly untangling from your hair.
Victory. Victory. Victory.
Then, you’re stumbling out of the passenger side, opening the door to the backseat.
(You take a second to commend yourself for driving a man so wild, making him so impatient that he couldn’t be bothered to walk the ten feet required to fuck you inside his apartment. Or, maybe he just liked letting the neighbours watch.)
Before you can even step foot inside the car, you’re being hauled by your upper arms onto Javi’s lap. He manhandles you into his desired position, spreading your knees around his thighs until your dress is hitched up, only covering your ass half-way.
After snaking a hand between your bodies, the agent runs his thumb down the slick fabric of your underwear.
Already, you’re holding back a slew of pathetic whines.
“Next time you give me head”—God, the feeling of those fingers against your clit, the bliss of them pushing your panties to the side, assessing your readiness for him—“Wanna be able to see that pretty mouth while my dick’s inside it, sweetheart.”
His lust has him speaking a bit out of breath. It makes every crude, filthy word sound sweet, almost endearing to you.
Nodding in response, you work with him—lowering yourself onto his fingers as he pushes them between your folds.
“Jesus Christ,” he smiles, head falling back in appreciation, “You’re soaked.”
His fingers curl up, pressing to please in all the right places. Your answer arrives between gasps: “You tasted good.”
That pleases him.
“Yeah?” and he’s dragging his digits out of you, letting them trail through your folds and along your heavy, sore clit before leaving you wanting, leaving that needy cunt clenching around nothing. “I bet you taste even better.”
Then, his grip is on your jaw, pressing damp spots into your skin under his index, middle, and ring fingers. With the pad of his thumb pressed firmly to your bottom lip (and the row of teeth behind it), Javi eases your mouth open, wider and wider and wider for him.
“Show me—show me how good you taste.”
His index crawls onto your tongue. You close your lips around it, sucking him in until his fingernail scratches the back of your throat. He wants to be shown, so you show him: gazing intently into his eyes, you watch his brow furrow as he studies your every movement, as he drinks in your every moan.
“Fuckin' hell,” he groans, commending your efforts. “You’d do anything I asked right now, wouldn’t you, hermosa?”
Your bottom teeth graze the undersides of his index as you pull off—“yes, Javi.” Almost instinctively, you’re reaching your hand down, letting it coast down the hardness of his chest to rub circles around the slick tip of his cock, still peeking out from his open fly.
“Not yet,” he clicks his tongue, pushing his index, and this time, his middle and ring, too, back through the opening of your lips, “Need to clean yourself off every one of these fingers, first—thaaat’s right.” You listen, obediently sucking everything he gives you. He instructs and praises, “easy—easy, cariño, there it is,” as he watches you glide up and down him in slow, big pulls, all the way down to his knuckles.
It’s fucking filthy, and he loves it, unable to keep that arrogant smirk off of his face.
He’s practically in paradise, coming up with a mental list of creative ways to shut you up.
Still, Javi allows you to multitask: all the while, your fingers continue to explore the exposed parts of his cock. Only when he’s satisfied, when his length couldn’t possibly get any harder—only then does he free your mouth, letting his damp fingers trail down the side of your neck.
The feeling sends a shiver up your spine.
Without warning, he yanks down the straps of your dress and bra, pulling them all the way down until you’re postured on his lap, chest fully exposed; his abrupt movement has you loosing a stunned "Javi!" He runs his palms over the most sensitive peaks of your breasts, a hungry smile teasing the corners of his lips.
Then, he shrugs. “Told you last time I wanted to see them. Got the prettiest fuckin’ tits, hermosa.”
You don’t have time to roll your eyes, to laugh, or to really even register the vulgarity of his words, nor the taunting, degrading way they’re delivered to you. Javi’s already holding both you and himself up in one arm (and, oh, how you’d simply ached for the feel of his strength) pulling down the waistband of his pants. He maneuvers you into the proper position to receive him in, two pairs of downcast eyes watching his cock spring free, tip curving in, grazing against the fabric of his shirt.
He rushes, but it still feels torturously slow. You’re craving, needing, as he uses the dark head of his cock to ease your ruined underwear to the side, guiding himself towards your dripping opening.
This time, he’s far too impatient to make you beg for it.
Ecstasy forces your back into an arch as he pushes himself between your walls, as you feel him filling you up, up, and up—wordless mouth falling open, your heavy head collapses aaall the way back.
Immediately, a hand is at the back of your skull, forcing your gaze back downwards. “No, no, no, baby, you let me see—let me see you when you ride,” and his voice is a little strained, a little desire-stricken, a little bit softer as he settles his every last inch inside your cunt.
Your irises could be forest fires as you set your sights on his own, seeing nothing, absolutely nothing but Javier in that moment.
Moving your hips in tandem, you set your pace.
Mother Mary—it’s hard, so fucking hard to keep your legs steady when he stretches you open—wide fucking open—and as his head grazes that spongy spot inside.
He doesn’t help, either. In fact, while your hands dig anchors into his shoulders (sometimes his chest, his neck, his waist) just to keep yourself upright, his own are trailing up to the pocket of his shirt, pulling out a pack of smokes.
You mewl softly at the heat building inside your cunt, loosing an indignant whine as Javi neglects his responsibilities toward your climax.
“Gave me such a hard time today, baby,” he muses, placing a cigarette between his fingers and tossing the rest aside, “Wanna hear a fuckin’ ‘thank you Javi’ every time you come.”
His words dance around you like streetlights passing in the night, barely registering inside your disintegrating mind. How could they? With the feeling of his thighs grazing the undersides of your own, the buttons of his shirt nudging against your aching clit… how could anything else even exist?
All you can give him is an “Mhm.”
He pulls a lighter out, smirking. “‘Tough-talker ‘til this pussy’s all full, huh?”
“I-I’m sorry, baby, I’m s-sorry.”
And he laughs. “Don’t say it, cariño,” he takes your hand, placing the light inside your fist. “Fuckin’ show me.”
He rolls his hips. Your weight collapses against his chest.
“C’mon,” he coaxes, pushing you off, straightening you up before placing the cigarette between his lips, “Aaall you gotta do is light up the tip. You got it, sweetheart.”
His hands travel down to your ass, giving it a rough squeeze before his fingers splay out. He spreads you open over his thighs, watching the etchings of your lust corrupt your expression as he fucks himself—slow, deep, hard strokes—inside you.
“Fu—please, Javi—I can’t, s’too much, baby—please—”
A smile, full lips parting around the dart. “S’wrong, baby?” The words are low, breathy, teasing, contorting around the smoke in his mouth. “Can’t focus?”
God, just make him happy.
It’s the only thought you seem to be able to form. His request doesn’t seem to be up for debate, either.
So, summoning every last bit of control still lingering inside you, you bring a trembling hand up to the unlit end, a string of moans and ‘Javi’s rising from your throat.
And fuck, he’s beautiful, brimming with playful passion, orange filter hanging off those pretty pink lips.
Trying to still yourself, you flick the lighter on—the flame dances between you, illuminating the expansive darkness lurking inside his gaze. It takes everything, everything you have left to light it for him, to make that white tip glow red hot, to stay steady enough, to keep from burning him.
And also, to hold your pace. That grip of steel wrapped around your hip serves as a constant reminder—
Keep taking it.
In those final moments, he picks up his pace, of course. Your simmering blood bubbles to a boil, the flutters inside your cunt graduating into pulsing throbs.
As the flame finally takes, you feel every muscle inside your core tense—when Javi inhales his first drag, you straddle the precipice of your orgasm.
Your weight falls onto his shoulder. One of his arms reaches up to ash the cigarette; the other wraps tightly around you, bouncing you against him as exhales a cloud of smoke into your hair.
“Baby—Javi, I’m coming, I’m coming, I'm c—”
Heat builds between your thighs, and as that bundle of nerves grows heavy, pulsing with the rush of your orgasm, his thrusts only deepen.
He pulls you in close.
“I know, cariño,” Javi coos, condescending into the shell of your ear, basking in the feel of your cunt near-strangling him in adoration. “Can feel you, y’know? Got such a grateful lil' pussy,” he places a kiss to the side of your neck, groaning against the soft skin. “Always lets me know how much you love having my cock buried inside it.”
As he speaks, you try to catch your breath. To come down from your high.
It doesn’t work. Not while his hips continue to grind against yours, not while cradled between his arms like his holy beloved, and especially not with his tip still pressing against every available, wanting spot on your walls.
Javi takes another long drag from the dart. “What do you say when you come, baby?”
A big, laboured inhale, and the words come out in one, rushed exhalation. “Thank you, Javi.”
He responds with a downright cocky laugh. “You’re welcome, cariño. Good girl.”
The praise… it makes you melt.
Tangling his fingers in your hair, nails grazing the skin of your scalp, he pulls you off of his chest. Your heavy breaths mingle together in the stale heat of the Jeep Cherokee. 
You buck up, doing your best to keep pleasing him as he studies your devoted movements, as he leans back against the seat—groaning.
His hand—often glued to your rolling hip—provides you with only a mere hint of stability.
“That guy you were with,” he takes a drag from his cigarette, using his free hand to toy with one of your peaked nipples. “At the bar. You’d’ve done this for him?”
Your lips part, but no sound crosses the threshold of your lips. You’re dazed—still coming—and building to yet another peak. His unwillingness to move starts to ground you; the long length of every hard muscle beneath his arms, the round, bulging ridges of his shoulders… they become your salvation, places to lay your weight into. Riding him becomes second nature: you’re attuned to his rhythm and the desperate, commanding desires of your body.
Suddenly, you’re a part of him; when he exhales, the smoke creeps out of his lungs and into your own.
You burn right along with it.
He drops the still-smoking cigarette onto the seat next to your entangled bodies, bringing both his hands to rest against your dampened skin. One comes down hard, delivering a quick, harsh slap to your ass.
It would leave a mark.
“Tell me. Use that pretty mouth, hermosa. ‘Know you know how—used it—ran it all fuckin’ day.” Javi grunts, angling to bend over you, pushing into your guts as he wraps you in his arms, finally taking the burden of your weight off of your scraped up, wobbling knees. He continues on, “Tonight, too—been so easy, baby, lettin’ me put anything I want in there like a good lil' slut,” drinking in your cry of pleasure. He almost says it to himself, eyebrows furrowing as he reminisces, as your cunt begins to throb around his hardening cock once more. “You'd've done that for him, cariño?”
You swallow, trying to clear the stars dancing before your eyes, and that fuzzy sound of static. It muffles the symphony of Javi’s hoarse breaths, your own, helpless cries, and the filthy sound of skin colliding with—grinding against—skin.
He quickens, now, using you like a damn toy. Every rough thrust brings you closer to heaven; every ardent, breathtaking squeeze of his arms around your middle feels like angels sighing.
“No,” you breathe, closing your eyes. Your arms cling around his neck, fingers fanning through his thick hair—everything is him, him, him. He leans forward again, ducking down to kiss the hollow of your throat; you pull him in faithfully, moaning softly at the feel of his lips, his teeth under the valley under your jaw. “Only you.” It sounds like worship, sliding up an octave as that low ache worsens, as he compells a second climax out of your already-quivering body. “Only you, Javi.”
He growls, lips dragging up to your ear as the hairs of his mustache tease your cheekbone. “Prove it,” he breathes, deep thrusts growing even more erratic— needier, sloppier. You can barely hear him over your own noises, but he continues his gravelly coos inside your ear nonetheless. “Gimme another one, baby—wanna feel you comin' on my cock when I fill you up so fuckin' full, baby—show me that you’re mine—z’this pussy mine, hermosa?”
“Yesyesyes—oh God, y-yes—m’yours, Javi, y—”
Your legs seize as yet another release tears through your body. The skin of his neck anchors you in place, and you hang off of him like a rosary, digging your fingernails into the warmth of his flesh with every ounce of strength at your disposal.
He fucks you through your second climax, headed straight for his own.
“S-such a good girl, cariño—f-fuck—” Arms, wrapped around your waist, tighten enough to snap you in two as Javi crushes you against his chest, using the momentum of your entire, shaking body to finish himself off. He comes with a grunted “s-shit”—and you pay attention, wanting to commit the divine sound to memory. Swelling between your silken walls, Javi spills everything he could possibly give inside you.
A final, abrupt thrust, married with the non-stop, involuntary clench-and-release of your cunt works to cover every square inch of you with him.
When it’s over, the man refuses to let you part from him (not that you had any real desire to do so, anyway). A big, shaking hand keeps your head cradled in the firm crook of his neck, and he slowly, slowly  softens inside you. He basks in the final, weak flutters of your cunt as you lose yourself in the smell of his cologne.
His heart hammers in his chest. You can hear it with your ear pressed to his neck. Going limp, your damp forehead rolls onto the hard roundness of his shoulder.
That aching, sore opening soaks the skin of his thighs. You shiver softly, dripping onto the base of his shaft.
“Say it, cariño,” Javi murmurs, laying a rough kiss to your temple. He runs his hands up and down your bare spine, fingers dancing along your sticky skin.
You loose a breathy laugh against his golden skin. “Thank you, Javi.”
And you pull back just in time to catch his genuine smile.
It fucking melts you. Adoration, pride… spreading like tree-roots under rich, forest soil throughout your still-heaving chest.
He rubs the pads of his thumbs under your eyes, wiping clean some of the going-out makeup that had no-doubt become a total, leaking mess.
“‘Pretty when you’re nice, y'know,” he mutters, moving to cup your cheeks between his warm, hardened palms. And then he pauses, reconsidering his words. “But fuckin’ hot when you’re mean.”
A breathy giggle. “What can I say,” you whisper, trailing a few appreciative fingers up and down his forearms. “You bring out the very best in me, Peña.”
He scoffs, but smiles all the while.
Off in the distance, there’s music. Sounds of debauchery and excitement travel through the warm summer air, audible even through the closed windows. The night is alive for the rest of the city; somewhere far, far away, an engine growls, rubber tires squealing against the pull of hard pavement.
It takes him away.
Javi grasps your shoulders, pushing you up and back to effectively slide you off of his half-soft length. “I’ll wait for you to get inside,” he says, yanking his pants back up over his hips, tucking himself back into his briefs. “Make sure you lock the door, alright?”
Pause. 
What?
“You’re leaving?” You mirror him, hastily rearranging yourself—skinny straps find their way back above your shoulders, your short dress finds itself yanked down to its rightful place.
It’s awkward work, given the confines of the space.
The agent slips out from underneath you. He opens the door, rising from the backseat and straightening up with a groan. “Think I know where he was going,” he responds, mostly to himself. “I’m only, what…” a flip of his wrist as he checks the time, “Thiiiiiirty? Thirty-five minutes behind him?”
Before you know it, you’re bristling with irritation.
Again.
You throw your heels down on the street, unceremoniously shoving a cramping foot in each one. “Don’t be an idiot, Peña,” and you try your hand at standing, buckling slightly on a pair of Jell-o legs.
He comes around to your side, steadying you on your feet. Reflected in his deep-brown eyes is the same annoyance flashing across your own gaze. “D’you just expect me to be there, sweetheart? Z’that it? Every time your ass needs saving?”
Shame heats the soft skin of your cheeks. Your eyes trail down to the ground, volatile, incomprehensible emotions building with every passing second.
“It won’t happen again—I won’t-I won’t be so stupid, or-or—I won’t go out, anymore.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, well, that’s nice 'n all, but it’s sure as shit not gonna change anything.”
When you don’t respond, when you don’t look up, his edges soften. “They went to your house, sweetheart.” With his hands on your shoulders, he implores you to see sense. “It’s either we get them or they… get you.”
You exhale, hard. “You’re being dramatic.”
That does it for him.
After an exasperated shake of his head, he’s grabbing your hands in his own, placing a set of keys in the cradle of your palm.
His tone is low, demanding, unbending. “Lock the doors.”
Then, he’s turning to leave, walking to the front of the Cherokee.
Before rounding the corner, he turns his hardened profile to the side. The glare of the building’s lights dance on his tanned skin, turning the whole scene into a sort of lucid dream.
“Y’know, you’re really starting to piss me off with this whole… utopian fantasy you’re livin’ in.” He barely even addresses you, mumbling the rest of his sentiment mostly to himself. “I’m fuckin’ tired of being the only one looking out for you.”
Utopian fantasy?
You try to dismiss him—to call him ridiculous, to throw yourself into the familiar task of poking holes in his arguments—but… you can’t. Over and over, his words rush you in waves: “the only one looking out for you” “utopian fantasy” “the only one looking out for you” “utopian—”
Suddenly, you’re on a different street. In the same clothes, and in the same body, but somewhere far, far away, facing a different man. It’s somewhere very loud, where tires and knees come to a screeching stop against cement, where the downbeat of every Latin measure is punctuated by the sound of a bullet, inscribed with your initials, ripping through the static summer air.
Panic hits you like a bolt of lightning.
It doesn’t go away, either.
Not even once you’re back on Javi’s street, fossilized in amber, watching him move to the driver’s side of his Jeep.
All the fear you hadn’t allowed yourself to feel…
You’d forced him to shoulder it for you, instead.
But, inevitably, what goes around comes around. And he’s dropped your burden right back onto you with a few well-timed words.
Truth bares itself to you, settling heavy atop your bones like an ancient, primal wound. The result is a pair of unsteady legs, a perennial tremor in both, white-knuckled hands, and a crackling voice, resisting use.
“Javi…”
Only when you hear the sound of your own terror echoed back to you do you permit yourself to cry.
And there you stand. Disheveled, confused, broken—clothing misplaced, ruined, broken—
And you just don’t want him to leave.
Not now.
Not when you need him.
Not when you need someone.
Not when you think you’ve finally got it figured out, and especially not when you’re so damn close to speaking it into existence.
Realization. Acknowledgement. Expression.
It’s not a customary pattern, in your experience.
Javi stops in his tracks, stunned to a halt at the sheer emotion in your plea.
It stings when you clear your throat. “I just…” and you falter, strange, unfamiliar words sticking to your throat, sickly-sweet dried honey. Each vowel reverberates back to you, amplified by the acoustics of the empty street and their novelty.
Still, you’re not quite sure how he’s able to hear you, given that you can only bring yourself to speak a handful of decibels above a damn whisper.
“I’ve just never been important, Peña.”
You wipe a self-conscious hand across your face, clearing the sea-salt from below your downcast eyes.
Before you’re able to put a stop to it—it all comes rushing out. Averting his gaze, you ramble on in agitation.
“Not beyond being a-a pair of hands to make fucking photocopies—or as the butt of some sort of “prissy receptionist” joke or even just as some—as-as a kind of fucking challenge to men—men like you, Javier—because I… well, because I’m mean, and I-I guess it’s just fun for everyone to see how far they can take it before—before I…” You give your head a fervent shake, trying to reel yourself back in, trying to close off the monologue.
But the cracks had formed, and with nowhere to go, the mounting pressure of the seven seas washes away the rest of your weakened dam.
The agent can't even get a word in.
“Anyways, that’s-that's not the point. The point is that it just… it didn’t seem possible that anyone in this whole fucking country would even think twice about me—even if it was just to… to kill me…”
A lump forms, lodging behind your larynx.
You start to rush.
“So I really am sorry that I acted like such an asshole, but none of this makes a fucking lick of sense to me—I’m-I’m a secretary, for fuck’s sakes—I’m nothing, no one, I’m not—” and then you’re frantic—
The gunshots, the tires, the music, the spark plug, a Camino—
“Just please, don’t go, don’t—I-I know you’re mad, just—please, just don’t—”
It’s impossible to catch your breath. Every heaved sob racks your lungs, shaking you all the way down to your buckling knees.
You want to turn, to run and hide, to fling yourself into oncoming traffic—anything to end the interminable humiliation you couldn’t seem to keep from putting on display in front of Javier Peña.
And shit. No man could see a woman in the same way after this. No man would care for a woman like this, destroyed and pathetic and—
“Oh, cariño—”
And he’s there.
Those arms—so used to taking—they wrap you up, pulling you into the heat of his body, protecting you from the pointed echoes of laughter and song breezing through the night air. Those hands, the ones that bruised, slapped, grabbed—they hold—the right unburdens you of your oppressive weight, pressed flat against the small of your back. His left cradles the back of your head, laying your temple to the side of his throat.
“You’ve always been important to me, sweetheart.”
His soft murmurs tumble down your spine. That smoky breath envelops you; it reminds you of those blankets in the movies—the ones that the firemen hand out after the disaster’s over, the survivors rescued. In the denouement.
“S’okay, S’okay. I’m sorry, baby, alright? I’m not mad, cariño, it’s okay.”
Running his fingers through your hair, supporting your head like a delicate, sacred object, murmuring comforts against the softest parts of your neck—Javi goes on and on. Despite the frequent shifts between Spanish and English, you manage to catch the main gist of his crooning.
“I could never be mad at you, baby.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m not mad, cariño.”
“And I’m sorry, baby.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad.”
“I’ll stay.”
“I’m sorry.”
After an eternity, you feel calm enough to pull away. You’re a wreck, gazing up at him with big, silver-lined eyes.
And it’s then that you see him.
That you really see him.
The concern, the anguish, the affection… You’d punished him for doing the very thing that you were incapable of doing.
Protecting you.
Caring for you.
As tears continue to leak from your eyes, you take note of his beauty. Not just of his looks, but also in the sheer power radiating from him, towering like a knight over you. In those capable, caring hands—hands that had torn others apart, that had put you back together—there was beauty in them, too.
You wipe your face dry.
And you soften your tone, aiming to lighten the mood. “Stop trying to get in my pants, Peña." A sniffle. "I don’t sleep with cops.”
He rolls his eyes, the ghosts of a smile tugging at his lips. “Y’know,” he cups your face, drying the final, lingering remnants of your melt-down off your cheeks, “I waited outside that fuckin’ bar for hours  tonight. Just in case.”
Oh.
God, you’d never even bothered to think about how he’d gotten to you so quickly.
Of course he’d been there.
That truth feels… warm.
He goes on. “Watched you… saw you with that guy.” He scoffs at himself, shaking his head. “Had to look away when you came outside. S’why it… took a minute. To get there.”
That has your gaze trailing off, eyes cast down in shame, studying the worn-in rubber on the Jeep’s tires.
It would have never worked, anyway. There wasn’t a man on Earth who could ween your mind off of this one.
With the pad of his thumb against your chin, he brings you back to him. Javi commands your full attention with the just the sincerity of his stare.
“Even when you want nothin’ to do with me... I’m there, alright? I’m here, baby.”
Those eyes… softened with affection, hardened with conviction. Javier always had a way of straddling both worlds at once.
He waits for your signal, your quick nod of acknowledgement.
Then, he’s kissing you—softly. Fingers curling around his forearms, you borrow his strength to keep yourself from swooning. He holds your face as tenderly as he caresses your lips, and with every synced inhalation, he speaks yet another unspoken word into existence.
After giving you enough to make you feel whole again, he pulls away.
With his great-big-palm to your cheek, he says everything you need to hear.
“Let’s go inside, sweetheart.”
part 3
TAGLIST: @millllenniawrites @pining-and-tired @inkedells @stardust-chords-enthusiast @mattmurdocksgirlfriend @bookofbee @liviloo12346 @anyas-stuff @readingsunshine97 @maudlinflowers @sullysflm @sexygaypalpatine @livyjh @s-unflowxr @lostsoldieronahill @chapterhappygirl @raeluvshammett @silkiers @jupitersmood @supernaturaldean67 @razrsharpwhiteteeth @peqchsoup @corrodedcherries @hawsx3 @monboudoir @theonewithacrush @pono-pura-vida @totallynotastanacc @dzaga890 @swedishscumfuck @killerrxger @niallsbunny @cilliansangel @snowyarcher @grnherbs @mswarriorbabe80 @tercabed @sweettea-and-honeybutter @julesonrecord @bbyanarchist @thisgirl-knm @pedrit0-pascalit0 @princessdjarin @isitselfishifwetalkaboutmeagain @pseudonymist @goldengrapejuice @soullumii @jazzerbelle14
Officer Officer Everybody knows that I'm a good girl, officer No, I wouldn't do a thing like that, that's for sure The house was already on fire, I swear I'm not a liar (Well) I'm a little shaken, but I'm fine, thanks for asking Tell me, do you always work alone so late? Gosh, I'm a little shy standing here in my night gown Do you really have to put those tight handcuffs on?
Looking at me, then suddenly
I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane
I've been bad, I've been wrong Playing a dangerous game I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane, hurricane, hurricane
Let's get in the back of your cop car, officer You can ask me anything you want Anything, anything
Do you have a girl? I don't see a ring on your finger Well, that's interesting Have you ever thought of dating a singer?
The flames are getting higher So is my desire It's kind of exciting Don't you think?
Then suddenly he's uncuffing me
I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane
I've been bad, I've been wrong Playing a dangerous game I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane, hurricane, hurricane
Love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I can be the bad girl I'm getting you so hot You can be the good guy Tell him please stop
Love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane
You can be the good guy (Officer) I'm in love Tell him please Stop (Officer) (Officer) You can be the good good (Officer) I'm in love Love in a hurricane
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colourstreakgryffin · 7 months
Note
AS PROMISED I HAVE COME BACK WITH A REQUEST IN MIND. AND YES IT IS HUSK RELATED (≧∇≦)/
so you know how cats come to you immediately when you say 'pspspspsppspspsps'? yeah, that. but with husk (๑˃̵ ᴗ ˂̵)و
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look at the cute little miao miao with his popcorn ≧﹏≦
Big definitely doing this. Ommgg! That pic is so precious! Husk canonically hates his cat traits but not today, beloved! Anyway. Let’s get going and play around with Husk some more! Sorry, this is a bit short!
Husk- Pootie-Kitty
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It’s so unbelievably cute… the soft purring, the fur ruffling
You respect the fact your boyfriend despises his sinner form’s domesticated cat traits and the cat anatomy he is cursed with for all of time but you can’t help yourself. You know you should stay back and you know you shouldn’t do what he dislikes…
But then again, Husk is also not as mad about being extremely cat-like at your hand as compared to any other person he knows, trying to make him behave like the feline he is
“Husky! Husky! Pspspspspspspsp~!” After a few silent painful minutes of absolutely nothing whilst walking through the empty but colourful and magnificent hallways of the Hazbin Hotel, both yours and your boyfriend’s workplace, you decide to use the classic cat call to see if Husk will come out
Himself and his ‘owner’, Alastor had a big fight over being contracted to him only a little while before and it caused Husk to hide away, out of pure utter rage and agitation and a pinch of fear over how bad the confrontation ended. Husk hasn’t come out from wherever he is for hours now. It’s already nighttime and you want to bring him to bed. You decided to let him have some time alone but it’s been way too long and it’s becoming concerning
He hasn’t given even a single bit of response to you, despite after you begun tinkling beer bottles, cooing out his name, offering him his favourite; snuggles if he comes out. Everything that usually has Husk approaching you at the speed of light. He isn’t for it, just making your concern for him grow even firmer
He isn’t listening… so, you’re going to have pull out the big guns!
“Hussskyy~! Pspspspspspspsssppspsps! Come here, baby”
You aren’t sure where he came from or where he was but after a few more seconds, you paused in place in the middle of quite the long hallway of this redemption building and spoke out to literally the air. Husk came padding out from around the corner in a somewhat hasty pace, his cute originally sharply-thin black pupils of his glowing golden yellow irises are now wide and rounded, his tall tip-fluffed ears drawn back like his big perked-up wings, as if curious about what you’re going to do next
Just like a normal cat, Husk’s quickly padding over to you right after hearing the ‘psspspsps’ calls, as if a lightbulb was switched on for him, in a manner he could not stop. His hearing is quite strong, even at his technically elderly human-age, and whilst he could hear your voice from his little hiding spot clear as day
He didn’t want you to see him in his most weakest, vulnerable moment, out of shame, but right after he registered those sly little calls of yours, his cat instincts kicked in and he was walking out into the hallway against his own desires. As soon as he stops before you, his conscious slyly clicks back into control and his pupils shrink to ordinary narrowed state
Even if Husk is annoyed when realising he just went full cat mode, he’s purring. You can hear the purring underneath his breath, he always purrs when you’re around and he purrs happily at seeing you again once more. His cute striped feather-tufted long tail flicking side to side across the floor, almost on the verge of wagging
All of it is physical signs of how much he adores you and how deep in love he is with you. That, even whilst he despises having been courted into acting like a cat, though your intentions aren’t to embarrass him, he is most okay with you doing it
What is that you need to discuss? Is something going on? Is there snuggles involved?
“There you are, love. Is something wrong? I haven’t seen you since 1pm. I’m worried”
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sleepybbie · 1 year
Note
Your Dan Feng thirst makes me so... Oonga boonga.... Thank yew for the meal op 🙏 if I may humbly ask for a blurb of thirst can we have Dan Feng showing Dan Heng the ropes on how to make you—Dan Heng's (and maybe soon Dan Feng's as well)—partner feel great in bed? After all!! What better way to learn how to please your own partner than yourself!!
𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 | dan heng & dan feng drabble
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a/n: ahhh another dan heng request! >.< it’s not so surprising to see how popular my first hsr fav has grown ^o^ <3 yet still, i’m excited to see more works of mine regarding him because he’s the most requested in my inbox rn :3
dan heng il x fem!reader x dan feng
warning: smut ;3 some fingering here and there ^^
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“i refuse to believe someone like you is my reincarnation.”
DAN HENG clicks his tongue in annoyance, sweat slowly dripping across his face as he pathetically watches DAN FENG spreads your legs apart with his long fingers, perfectly along with scissoring open your cute little clit as you squirm and whine, his tail wrapping around your waist to keep you still.
this was not what he meant when he needed slow guidance on how to please you better, as a sweet lover. his goddamn irritating incarnation however just had to pop out of nowhere and give him a ‘lesson’ on how to take you to a seraphic paradise. you were vulnerable, unable to move from your lover’s incarnation’s tail, your bare back from your disheveled clothes pressed against dan feng’s chest while his other free hand toys with your tits.
“..deciding to want to make love with your beloved when you don’t know how to treat her in bed properly…”
“i don’t need you teaching me how,” dan heng tells him, an angered expression written across his face. dan feng scoffs, his digits rubbing your cunt in slow circles, feeling your fluids drip slowly out from your cavern while you mewl loudly. “then why are you looking so intensely while i fondle her?” the former high elder speaks, his gaze never leaving dan heng’s.
dan heng anxiously swallows a lump down his throat, his aching cock pleading to be freed from his pants as the male desperately tries to refrain from touching himself right at that moment. the sight of you being touched and pleasured by his incarnate, makes him annoyed…yet at the same time, it was quite the sight to witness. your breasts about to pop out of your clothing, lips leaking few drools while your pretty cunt was displayed in front of him, glistening like a gem as dan feng teased your hole with his fingers.
“i must say, she is sort of acting like a woman with sexual innuendos.”
“are you saying she’s a ‘whore?”
“is that how you people call it these days? hmph. then, yes..you’re quite lucky…she’s not lucky however…” dan feng removes his hand from your tits, grabbing your chin to make you face him as he continued to speak to your lover, his reincarnation. aeons, he and dan heng really look alike, but instead—dan feng’s gaze was a little more colder, a little more stern. “she’s supposed to make love with someone who’s supposed to be my reincarnation, whom ends up not knowing how to please a woman.”
dan feng slowly makes you face back to your lover, who’s cheeks were red, panting heavily as he sits there and watches his incarnate prod open your pussy wide, drips of your impurity leaking from your hole as a loud whine escapes your lips. dan heng jolts.
“you—
“if you want to please a woman, it’s best to know how to do foreplay. first, you’d want to rub her clit down, just like this..” dan feng slowly repeats his steady massages down your weeping cunt, watching as you quiver at his touches, long sharp fingers kneading them down, your whines never fainting away. he’s…good. you love dan heng with all your heart, but his incarnation was talented with this. the former high elder chuckles, “what a loud mouth she has. it sounds like she’s wanting more, don’t you think?”
“wha—
“quit yapping and come here. you look like you are about to pop over there if you don’t touch her,” dan feng cuts him off, shushing him down as he commands your lover to come over closer. oh no…
dan heng approaches, not so eagerly, but slowly, his red face sending dan feng a death glare when he arrived close to you. a small smile appears over dan feng’s face, like he was smug about dan heng holding back to a pretty girl like you. “do not hesitate now, touch her.” dan feng tells him, removing his hand from your clit as he grabs dan heng’s wrists and places his fingers on top of your hole. he stops for a moment, looking at you with a nervous expression, breath heavy as his chest pants. you were so…pretty, so helpless, you were pleased. that’s all he ever wanted.
dan feng rolls his eyes, “what are you waiting for?”
“s-shut up…”
forgive me, y/n…
dan heng was fumed by his words, it was all over his face. he was frustrated and turned on. you looked at him, feeling dan feng’s tail pushing you further up to him before dan heng slips a finger inside your cunt for a brief moment. you cry, and he pulls it out again, flustered. he looked at his finger, and saw how drenched it already was from your fluids.
that…was
“see? she’s liking it. do it again, with two fingers this time.”dan feng orders him, his hands still continuing to play with your breasts, twirling your hardened nipples around.
dan heng did just what he was told, giving his forefinger and ring finger a small lick, before splitting you open with his fingers. a loud moan escapes out of your throat, head pushing back on dan feng’s shoulder as the two vidyadharas pleased you with ease. dan heng focusing on his fingers in your cunt, while dan feng parades you with praises, licking your earlobe, toying around with your tits.
oh fuck, dan heng thinks. the face your giving right now…he’s so fucking hard from the sight you’re making him receive.
“feels good, darling?” dan feng questions to you, and you nod. dan heng looks at him, looking like he’s about to stab him with cloud piercer any moment now.
“don’t forget who she belongs to.”
“ah, a shame. it appears she likes the both of us…”
fuck yeah you did. it was clear dan heng was jealous, and so, he leans in, giving you a passionate kiss, muffling your cute noises. with dan heng’s fingers, mouth and dan feng’s praises that were suddenly being possessed by filth along with his rhythm of his palms that presses down on your nipple, you won’t be going to last long. you were growing louder and louder of every minute. dan feng pulls dan heng away from you, resulting in a very irked dan heng.
“what the hell?!”
“patience. look at her, she’s close.”
dan feng was right. the knot in your belly was about to be cut open, hearts moulding into your pupils as a euphoric sigh passes your lips. it didn’t take long for you to squirt your release out, dan heng closing his eyes as your orgasm came to the edge, spilling some on his face and mostly on the ground, your hazy dreamscape of pleasure weighing down on your mind as you came down, panting hard. dan heng too was panting, face flushed as you heard him cursing underneath his breath.
“impressive. seems like you made a girl squirt on your first try.” dan feng says, before he bends you over, your face hitting the area of dan heng’s fabric pants before the former high elder hikes your skirt up.
“next, you should know how to let her take cock.” he says, and you knew you were going to end up very sore afterwards.
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violetrainbow412-blog · 9 months
Note
Hi, I was wondering if you still accept requests because I read your Wonka fics and find them very cute and wanted to ask if I could also make a request. And that is that the reader has sleep problems and asks Willy finally what she can do about it as soon as she no longer knows what to do and he makes a certain chocolate for her so that she can sleep better again? (Something fluffy please) Thank you!
A sweet remedy [W. W]
Willy Wonka x fem!reader
word count: 1.2k
note: I'm sorry it took me so long, these weeks I was covering a full shift and with the holidays I barely had time to do anything, but I'm back now! And I hope you like it
taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos [Timothée masterlist]
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While you were scrubbing one of the most difficult sheets you had had to wash during the day you felt your eyelids begin to close, at first little by little, and at times completely. It wasn't until you fell against the tub full of soapy water and stood up with a scream at the temperature that you realized you really had a problem.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Piper asked, immediately approaching while you struggled to keep the detergent from getting into your eyes and mouth.
“Yes, everything is fine,” you lied. Everyone had already gathered around you and shame was taking over your body. “I just… I slipped"
“Here's a towel,” said a familiar and loving voice, which belonged to your recent but quite dear friend.
Willy approached you and wrapped the towel around you, carefully, while he helped you clean your face. Once you could see more clearly you noticed that everyone seemed worried and you honestly didn't blame them. Your face reflected the lack of sleep you had had during the last few weeks, coming from a previously unknown cause. The only thing you knew was that the insomnia was literally killing you.
"Are you sure you are alright?" now Abacus murmured. You nodded again and smiled at everyone, imploring them to let the moment pass.
When you were dry enough you continued with your tasks, but you could feel your friend's dissatisfied gaze from across the room, as if he were the only one unwilling to ignore your recent strange behaviors: you were distracted, you seemed to leave mentally out of nowhere and this wasn't the first incident where you practically passed out on a dangerous surface.
At some point you had to carry a cart of sheets to the drying area and that's when he hurried to follow you.
“Let me help you,” he exclaimed, smiling in your direction as he held the cart you were pushing.
“I'm fine,” you said, to reassure him, because you knew that he had approached you to monitor your mood.
One by one you took out the sheets and began to put them in the dryer. The process would take a while, so you guys had a few minutes to chat, after all you knew the others wouldn't mind.
You leaned against the old machine, feeling the vibration on your lower back, and he did the same. The distance was so close that your hip was touching his, turning any conversation into a private one.
“Are you sick or something? We can get a doctor, if so”
“I'm sick, but I don't think it's that kind of illness,” you sighed.
"What do you mean?"
It was useless to keep hiding things from him, and who knows... that ingenious mind might even find a solution.
“I can't sleep, Willy. I don't understand why I can't, but I've had problems with that. I think it's called insomnia, or something like that” you began to explain, crossing your arms as if you wanted to protect yourself from the vulnerability “And it's horrible and it makes me feel stupid. I mean, who can't do something as easy as sleep?”
“Sometimes I don't get it either. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Yes, I know, but…” you started moving your hands in the air, trying to find the right words to express yourself, “it's different. And I don't know what to do anymore, I can't sleep during the day because we work and I honestly feel like I'm going to collapse at any moment.”
Even though he was listening to you attentively, he didn't know how to respond for a moment.
“Do you think I look very bad?” you continued “You know, like… physically?”
“No, I think you look beautiful,” he replied, without thinking too much about it. “Maybe there's a little more pigmentation here…” his thumb slid under your eyes, in the place of your dark circles, and you smiled involuntarily “but nothing to worry about.”
You were reassured that you were still pretty in your friend's eyes, but you knew that the worried look on his face wasn’t in vain. You had to do something about it.
“Perhaps among your curiosities you have some chocolate that helps me sleep?” you joked, speaking only to the air.
But on his face you saw that expression of machination that suddenly emerged, almost as if a light bulb appeared over his head at the idea that was going through his head.
"Not yet. But it's an excellent idea."
“Oh, I wasn't serious…”
“But it’s brilliant,” he interrupted you. The dryer stopped and you knew the drying cycle was over, as should your conversation “Give me some time and you can sleep like a baby, I promise.”
That was perhaps his favorite thing: making promises. And of course, comply with them.
You wanted to answer him something, but a yawn preceded you and the man simply laughed at the irony of the moment.
“I guess I can't refuse now, can I?”
“As soon as I manage to do it, you will have it in your hands,” he said, excited.
With that the talk ended and you began to hang the clothes on a rope, returning to the day's work, but now with a better spirit in the hope that Willy could help you get what you wanted so much.
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"Special delivery?" someone knocked on your door. You were like every night, just curled up in bed to hope for the best.
Willy was holding a small purple box with a red bow, which judging by the excited smile your friend had, you assumed was the remedy for your illness.
"It will work?"
“I hope so,” he said, entering your room to sit next to you on the mattress. “I'll stay here for a few minutes to make sure you can sleep and then I'll leave, is that okay with you?”
“It's excellent,” you answered nervously, while you took the candy that your friend had made especially for you. It was shaped like a small moon and glowed inside. “What is it made of?”
“I'll tell you in the morning, when you wake up.”
His feet moved slightly, showing his excitement, and that seemed to rub off on you. Glory seemed so close and you could reach it with a couple of bites, but before that you leaned down to wrap the boy in a hug.
“Thank you for trying this for me. I know it will work, but… even if it doesn't work, you know I appreciate it.”
“Don't say that, it will work” he replied, with complete confidence.
Without further ado, you put the candy in your mouth and tasted it. You couldn't identify any ingredients, but it tasted delicious and cozy, somehow. Although you wanted to compliment your friend's work just a second after the candy had melted on your tongue, you were already feeling how everything around you was becoming heavy, as if the accumulated fatigue had hit you suddenly.
You were already unconscious when Willy trapped you in his arms and laid you carefully on the bed, completely happy to see that his creation had had such an immediate effect. As a farewell, he covered you with a sheet and kissed your forehead, going to his room to recreate an entire jar of chocolates that would ensure your rest for long enough.
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confused-wanderer · 1 year
Text
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I saw this the other day and couldn’t help thinking about how the batboys first felt when they had to be the comfort/protector or how for they might’ve felt the first time children ran to them for protection.
Dick Grayson was a performer long before he was a protector. Even on his first night as Robin, he kept an eye out on the darkest streets for people in despair. Not even three hours into his first shift as Robin, comes the opportunity.
He knows how to hypnotise people, to make them forget about the world, about reality, even if it was just for a little while. And little did he know just how much he’d use it for the rest of his life.
And there’s the guy in front of him, robbing a store with a knife in one hand, tears streaming down his face. His wife is dying, and he needs the money and Dick falters. He remembers that feeling of helplessness.
But then there’s a child cowering away from him, and runs screaming towards Dick, arms outstretched with a plea. And his hesitation vanishes, before taking down the man in one fell swoop.
He then spent the time with only one goal in mind. Make the kid laugh. He cracked jokes, displayed few acrobatic endeavours and is only satisfied when the kid looks at him with joy, the fear long since burned away. It fills his chest with pride, and a warm flutter that stays with him for the next few months.
Jason never expected anything to happen. He was the new Robin, he was here only to protect, not chit-chat. He’s heard what others thought of him, and he couldn’t care any less. He did his job, made sure they were safe and unhurt, and then left.
And then one late night, finishing up on patrol he sees a glimpse of color out of the corner of his eye. There’s a young woman, hiding three figures behind her. He raises his head, and immediately sees the way they scramble away in fear. So he looks away and waits, muscles tense and ready, pretending not to notice them come closer.
He’s quite taken aback when the woman timidly asks him to walk her back home. It’s a trap. He thinks. But he sees the look on their faces, and decides it’s worth the risk. Along the way he makes a few dry sarcastic quips, and before he knows it the air is filled with laughter and chatter.
It takes a while for him to notice two kids were holding each of his hand, and the third was tugging on his cape. And the mother was smiling softly, eyes crinkling in fondness and vulnerability.
They felt safe, he realises with a start.
They felt safe with him
They trusted him.
And something in him stirs. He feels something similar to what Dick had recalled on his first encounter with children, but instead of a warm flutter it’s like his heart has forgotten its rhythm. It’s banging against his rib cage, warmth and love pouring out. He always had a bleeding heart.
When he comes back from patrol, he absentmindedly runs his fingers across the cape where they’d held it, and sees tiny wrinkles there.
He refuses to iron it, and when Tim first sees his suit, the first thing he sees are the thousands of wrinkles, dozens of smears and dried up trails of tears.
Tim, who didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.
He was good at the crime job. Children.. people? Not so much. Especially when he wasn’t trying to lecture them or take them down. He knew how to make them tick. But not how to make them talk.
Alas, when batman is stuck interviewing a father about a home invasion, Tim finds himself on kid duty.
He looks everywhere, on the ceiling, below the bed, when he finally notices a heat signature coming from behind a desk.
The kid is hugging her knees, cowering and clutching themselves as close as she could, squeeze themselves into the tiny space, and keeping heavy boxes and chairs to block any people or light from entering.
And Tim just sits there. He tries talking, engaging in conversation before realising how awkward it sounded and that he wasn’t helping. So he falls quiet.
He notices posters of marine life on the child’s bed, and after a while of silence he starts to slowly talk again. He talks about the ocean, about its inhabitants and the most peculiar creatures hidden inside. It is a while before he falters again, noticing his rant, but with a quick glance he can see that the child has slightly shifted towards him, hanging onto his every word.
And so he continues, bringing up holographic displays to show the amazing characterisers and traits they acquire. He hears the pitter patter of footsteps after a while, and then the kid pops up beside him, staring at the display. The kid was there, tense as a deer, and ready to sprint at any sudden movement, but there.
And so at the end of the night, that’s how Bruce finds Tim sitting on the floor, kid fast asleep and sprawled across his lap, using the cape as a blanket.
Tim was a grounding presence. He wasn’t there to judge, wasn’t there to speak. He was just.. there. And that mattered a lot more to children then he realises.
He remembers coming home in almost a daze, seeing the wrinkles on his cape before remembering Jason. His breath hitches, fingers running over the wrinkles, truly realising why Jason’s suit still stubbornly portrayed its wrinkles. It’s stories.
Jason was better at this. Jason cared. And tonight, he’d taken the first step towards truly honouring him. And he had no intentions of letting the second Robin’s legacy die.
Dick had described it as warmth that left you giddy. But this, this was terror.
Tim was scared.
Dick had always been an empath, Jason arguably more, and it was their legacy that he’d have to carry on. The children were counting on him. Batman was counting on him. But the most terrifying realisation was that Jason was also counting on him. And so was Dick.
So he lets the wrinkles stay on, subtly highlighting them in the cape to remind himself of his purpose, a feeling of protectiveness burdening him- not only towards the citizens, but also towards his brothers. He was NOT going to let them down.
Each of them made kids feel safe with them, in their own special ways. Because there was a broken kid in each of them too, that craved to make sure no one else was hurt the way they were.
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