#he can eat solid food but he has a clear preference for puree

[dollopheadedmerlin]

New cat just dropped

His name is Wyllt

[missfrieden]

Tech as a father Chapter 30

So now a bit attention seeking from me. It is the 29th december. I turn 27 today, just three years shy of 30. And honestly it is what it is, one year more or less is not making a difference anymore.

Masterlist

Chapter 30: Eating habits

Tech carefully prepared the watered-down fruit puree as recommended by the parenting guides and medical advice. He wanted to introduce Orion to new flavours and textures, taking the first steps in transitioning from just formula to solid foods. It was a significant milestone, and Tech was eager to see how his son would react.

He sat down with Orion, cradling him in his arms, and began to offer him the tiny spoonful’s of fruit puree. Orion's curiosity was immediately piqued as he looked at the spoon with wide eyes, not entirely sure what to make of this new experience. As Tech gently guided the spoon to his son's mouth, Orion's lips pursed, and he tasted the sweet puree for the first time. Orion's reaction was a mixture of surprise, curiosity, and perhaps a hint of delight. He made adorable, funny faces, squirmed in Tech's lap, and occasionally smacked his lips together as he processed the new flavour. Tech couldn't help but smile at Orion's reactions, finding the whole experience incredibly endearing. Tech continued to offer Orion spoonful’s of the puree, watching as his son gradually adjusted to the new taste and texture. It was a slow and gentle introduction to solid foods, and Tech was committed to making it a positive and enjoyable experience for Orion.

But Orion's preference was clear as he reached for the bottle after trying the first few spoonful’s of fruit puree. Tech couldn't help but chuckle at his son's determination. He knew that introducing solid foods to an infant was a gradual process, and Orion had his own pace. Tech gently set aside the spoon and picked up the prepared bottle, making sure it was still warm and has not cooled down to much. He held it out to Orion, who eagerly accepted it, his tiny hands grasping onto the bottle with an air of accomplishment. Tech watched as his son happily suckled from the bottle, content and comfortable with the familiar taste of the formula.

It was a reminder that every child had their own preferences and developmental timeline, and Tech was more than willing to accommodate Orion's. He knew there would be plenty of opportunities to introduce solid foods in the future, and for now, he cherished these precious moments of feeding and bonding with his ever growing son. As Orion drank his formula mixed with water from the bottle, he continued to grasp and squeeze Tech's finger that held the bottle. Tech couldn't help but smile at the sight of his son's tiny fingers wrapped around his own. It was a simple yet heart-warming gesture that made him feel incredibly close to Orion. Tech gently stroked the back of Orion's hand with his thumb, savouring the connection they shared in that moment. The soft sounds of Orion's contented feeding filled the air, creating a soothing backdrop to their father-son bond. These moments of quiet connection were some of Tech's favourite times with Orion. As he watched his son drink, he marvelled at the simple joy of parenthood and the profound love he felt for this tiny, growing life in his arms.

Later Tech sat in the mess hall, holding Orion securely on his lap. The infant was now five months old and growing more curious by the day. The squad always ready to snap at the regs if one would say something towards Orion, they can say about them what they want but not their little one. Orion’s tiny hands had become surprisingly adept at grabbing things, large ones or easy ones to hold, and today, it was Tech's spoon that had caught his attention.

As Tech tried to scoop up a mouthful of his meal, Orion's chubby fingers reached out and clutched the spoon. With a triumphant grin, he managed to wrestle it from Tech's grip, as if he has won a battle and not like his father would have let him have it, and it clattered onto the floor. The sudden noise made Orion burst into giggles, his chubby little body bouncing up and down on Tech's lap in delight.

The rest of the squad, who were used to Orion's antics by now, chuckled along with the baby. Wrecker, always the joker, even mimicked Orion's excited bouncing, earning a surprised giggle from the infant. Tech sighed but couldn't hide his fond smile. "Well, it seems we have a future musician in the making," he quipped, reaching down to retrieve the spoon. Not sure how many professions he gave Orion by now, but for once he does not count. Orion's laughter filled the mess hall as Tech resumed his meal, realizing that these small, everyday moments with his son were the ones he cherished the most. The squad might be a team of elite soldiers, but in that moment, they were simply a group of brothers sharing a meal and the joy of watching a baby discover the world one spoon drop at a time.

Crosshair held Orion at arm's length, clearly not thrilled by the prospect of his nephew chewing on his own foot. He couldn't help but mutter, "You're disgusting." However, Orion, being the curious and good-humoured infant that he was, took Crosshair's comment as an invitation rather than criticism. With a gleeful gurgle, he stretched his tiny, drool-covered foot upward, presenting it to Crosshair as if saying, "Here, give it a try!"

The unexpected reaction caught Crosshair off guard. He couldn't help but chuckle despite himself. "Alright, kid," he conceded, taking Orion's little foot into his hand. "But just this once." As Orion giggled, Crosshair couldn't deny that spending time with his nephew, even when it involved some peculiar habits, was slowly but surely warming his heart.

Tech returned with a freshly prepared bottle and a playful smirk on his face as he saw the interaction between Crosshair and Orion. He couldn't resist teasing his brother a bit. "It can't be that disgusting, Crosshair," Tech quipped, knowing that his nephew's charming antics had a way of breaking down even the toughest exteriors. Crosshair, ever the stoic sharpshooter, quickly regained his composure, not wanting to admit that he had actually enjoyed the moment with Orion. "I'm a soldier, not a babysitter," he retorted, handing Orion back to Tech with the utmost care.

Tech chuckled, not pushing the matter further. He understood that it wasn't easy for Crosshair to show affection, especially in such an unconventional way. Taking Orion back into his arms, he continued to marvel at the bond growing between his brothers and his beloved son, knowing that these moments were precious to him and to the entire squad. As Crosshair walked away Tech watches him, he knows that behind Crosshair’s mannerism is a caring person, even if he would deny it till his last breath.

Chapter 31

Reblogs are very welcome and I am open for feedback, as english is not my first language, so maybe my sentences may be weird sometimes, or I write a word wrong even with google, or I use a wrong word for an item.

Tag: @spectacular-skywalker @aalizazareth @neyswxrld @clonethirstingisreal @sleepycreativewriter

[the-slasher-files]

Hii, i saw your requests are open so I guess I could try asking,

Can I ask how would Michael and Jason (and the other slashers if you'd like) react finding out that it's their S/O's birthday. Like they noticed how much food they prepared but s/o didn't mention the occasion because it's not that big of a deal to them but still celebrates it in a way.

Hey, thanks for the request! I love this idea and it was really fun to write.. also added more slashers so I hope you enjoy 🔪💕

MASTERLIST

SLASHERS REACT TO THEIR S/O BIRTHDAY

INCLUDES JASON, MICHAEL, BO, VINCENT, BILLY and STU

JASON VOORHEES

How he finds out: when you left your wallet face open with your drivers license out.. boy was curious

Ever since living out at the camp you just kind of forgot about your birthday, it never really mattered, you were happy just as is with what you had

but he plans it for weeks, Jason can’t give you much in the day to day and he just wants to spoil you and give you the best day after years of looking after him

Waking up in the morning you smelt fresh coffee and sweets, which was more than unusual in the cabin

Rolling over to look at the nightstand you found your favorite mug steaming with hot coffee and Jason had put in your preferred creamer, just the way you liked it. Beside the mug was a small little note sloppily marked with drawn hearts and the words “I love you”

Jason melted your heart on a daily biases but this... it made your heart feel like it oozed right out of your ribcage

Propping yourself up to sip the coffee there was a sudden crash in the kitchen making you jump out of bed... was there an intruder?? was Jason in danger??... grabbing the heavy machete that was resting against the nightstand you faltered to the kitchen, hair dishevelled, barefoot, only wearing one of Jason’s ripped oversized shirts

oh... OH.. it’s just Jason cooking??? flour was everywhere, about 10 different bowls were scattered along the counter, the bacon was smoking and the pancakes? were burnt

Turning around owl-eyed, with flour on his mask and tattered clothes, Jason gives his biggest grin and signs “happy birthday!!”

Once you help him with breakfast he will be glued to your side all day.. more than usual.. Jason wants to give you back rubs, hugs and kisses as much as he can

His gift to you is a bracelet his mom had worn, it is the most meaningful gift Jason could ever give, and it’s beautiful

In the evening he will take you to a new trail you had never been on, old camp lanterns to light your way through the woods and into a large meadow. A large blanket covers the damp grass and there is a small basket with all your fav snacks

A picnic to watch the sunset and stargaze... perfect

MICHAEL MYERS

How he finds out: Michael knows everything about you, he had watched you for a solid year before you even knew, but it will take him a long time to get comfortable and trusting with you so it will probably be like the 5th year together before he really does something for you

Now Michael is not affectionate and caring is just not in his nature so your birthday is going to be interesting... to the average human it will seem like it is a shit birthday but knowing Michael the way you do it is the best birthday he can give you

All these years together he had done nothing on your birthday so you expected it to just be another day, but nope

Waking up to the smell of fresh tea or coffee (which ever you prefer) a steaming cup was on the nightstand

Michael was still in bed with you which was unusual but it was even stranger when he was running his large hands all over you.. gently

There will most likely be some morning sex but he is oddly gentle, making your pleasure a priority over his own

Michael will allow you to touch him for however long you want and where you want without protest, but ONLY today so take advantage

Going to the living room you will see a present you had been eyeing for yourself for a while now. It could either be a really nice blanket to clothes to cookware to a laptop. Michael is observant about everything so he will notice the tabs in your phone or that time you walked by a clothing store and almost screamed at how nice the shirt was in the window

of course he stole it and there might be a tiny amount of blood on it but who cares lol

That is honestly about the extent Michael will go with you and that’s more than enough for you

BO SINCLAIR

How he finds out: Bo isn’t exactly a gentleman with a lot of things so he really doesn’t mind just asking how old you are or when your birthday is

Most likely Bo will forget when it is the first 2 years but the 3rd year.. oh baby he’s got it now... with the help of Vincent reminding him

Birthdays have never been big for the Sinclair brothers, especially for Bo, he literally has no idea what to do

One of the only ways Bo knows love is through fast pleasure... aka waking up to him eating you out. Like Michael, he will put your pleasure first today and is going to be gentle with you, so enjoy it

Be careful because he might want to spend your whole birthday in bed if you don’t stop him

Your presents will probably be some lingerie he bought you (which is basically his present) and a night out on the town, going to your favorite restaurant and taking you where ever you want

Even in the truck he will let you pick the music which is honestly a miracle

Bo will try to bite his tongue as much as possible and try to be the best gentlemen he can be until you get home ;)

Going home to Ambrose he takes a different road, up a hill that’s long and twisted, Bo just smiles when you ask where you’re going, man is saying nothing for once and it might freak you out

Getting to the destination, it’s a small walk in the woods until there is a large clearing and a small lake to your right, this is where he used to go swimming as a kid and this is sometimes where Bo will disappear to on bad days

He will lead you to the dock and will lay you down, watching the stars and hearing the splashing of the water mix in with the Louisiana nature... It is pure bliss

Bo cannot help himself and will initiate a heavy make-out session

This is the way of showing you he loves you

VINCENT SINCLAIR  

How he finds out: Baby boy is far more observant than his brother thank god, so he will probably check your drivers license if you left your wallet out

Vincent will honestly plan something for weeks if he can

Usually he is a night owl but today Vincent will get up nice and early cooking your favorite breakfast, well at least trying, honestly he can make fantastic omelets

Waking up you will see a small tray of food at the edge of the bed, an omelet, bacon, a glass of juice and some small bouquet of native Louisiana flowers he had picked

Along with a little note card saying “happy birthday” probably with some little doodles on the sides making it fancy

Waking into the room Vincent will have either your coffee or tea, handing it to you with a gentle kiss

It will probably be just a slow, gentle, quiet morning with wandering hands, little kisses and soft words

Today he will let you do whatever the hell you want and will try desperately to get Bo to leave you alone for the day

If you want to go for a walk he’ll go with, if you want to stay inside all day in your sweats watching movies that’s perfect.. whatever you want

Towards the evening Bo will come home with your favorite foods, since Vincent hates leaving town. Dinner will be candle lit with soft music in the background. Vince will try to dress nice and in something that isn’t covered in wax

After dinner he will take you to the theater, watching the old movies you grew up on, even though half of the time you are only paying attention to the tongue down your throat  

For some reason my head kept saying slow dancing in the rain, so I guess when you are coming home it starts to rain and you guys slow dance in the streetlight

Once home he has 2 boxes for you, lovely wrapped. In one box it is your very own knife with a carved handle of your favorite animal to match his blades. In the next box is something you had been looking at getting for a long time, a new pair of boots he watched you look for online

BILLY AND STU

How they find out: Honestly they’re probably just going to ask you

Stu is probably going to be the more outgoing one and screaming happy birthday to you when you first wake up, Billy would just let you sleep in and drink his coffee beside you, running his hands on you and gently whispering happy birthday to you instead

Stu would make you a big breakfast and even try to make you a cake but something would be so off lol.. he tried

Billy just takes a store bought one from the fridge that he had saved just in case this happened

yes, they want cake for breakfast

Whatever you want to do that day they will make it happen, honestly it’s going to be fun regardless with them

An arcade or bowling or crashing some little kids laser tag party is probably going to be it for your afternoon. Winning silly arcade prizes, stu will get you a stupid whoopie cushion and Billy will probably win a little stuffed bear for you

Driving home Billy will let you play your music and he will just drive around the city, just signing your hearts out and laughing and just making memories, watching the nightlife and city lights

Ending up at the City viewpoint, seeing all the lights in the dark never looked so pretty with your boys, it might even leave Stu speechless

Whenever you are ready to come home a horror movie is defiantly on the list, whatever one you want and they will order pizza

Honestly Stu will probably pass out on the couch from the long hilarious day and Billy will quietly drag you to the bedroom.. really getting to show how much he loves you ;)  

[alderaani]

prison break (echo x reader)

A valentines gift for @just-some-girl-92 as part of the event being run by @starwarsfandomfests! Thanks so much for putting another one of these together @lilhawkeye3, and I really hope you like this Dell! I think credit for white haired Echo goes to @/amiro-art? That was the first place I saw it anyway, and I’ve really liked the headcanon that it’s like that post-techno union ever since!

Based on this prompt: Character A moves in next to Character B. They have conjoined balconies and A's pet/child wanders into B's apartment.

Fives and Echo are both reunited and well in this because everyone gets to be happy on Valentine’s Day and I said so. We don’t need canon on this blog.

The other side of the wall explodes with noise. 

It makes you pause, looking up from the knitting trailing over your knees to cock your head towards the opposite apartment. You think you hear the screech of furniture legs being pushed along the floor, then the frantic rumble of several male voices speaking over the top of each other, the clatter and clang of things as they are removed and replaced.

It’s odd. When Tith-Mar lived next door, you used to hear it every time he coughed, or swore at that awful old holodrama he used to watch every Taungsday. As much as you tried to stop yourself you couldn’t help but get invested, and that was almost worse. Out of pride you never put it on your own unit, but that just meant you ended up half pressed against the wall, eventually not even pretending you weren’t listening to Capula and Mont confess their love. It had given you something to talk about, anyway, when you went onto the balcony to water your plants and he went out there to smoke the fancy deathsticks he joked he’d live and die by.

In the year since the war ended and Tith-Mar was finally able to move back out to be with his daughter on Ryloth you’ve never quite gotten used to the quiet. There was a strange comfort in knowing that there was someone on the other side of the wall. Maybe it came from the three years of water shortages and occasional outages - or, notably, the rampage of the Zillo beast, which hadn’t come quite close enough to flatten you in your sleep, but had downed enough of the power grid that you’d been locked in your apartment for five rotations. You miss the soft Rylothi folk music he used to play in the mornings, and you miss seeing him sometimes, blowing smoke up into the brisk Coruscant mornings with his blue lek, faded now in old age, wrapped around his neck like a scarf.

You just miss the comforting assurance of having someone else there. If it wasn’t for the sound of the door going, and the occasional thump of something being moved, you’d hardly know that you had neighbours at all now. It’s almost funny to think back on the furore it caused when the Republic bought the apartment for GAR resettlement. It led to the only neighbourhood meeting the building has ever had, and you’ve been very glad for that fact after discovering that a solid faction of your fellow citizens are bigots. It’s something you knew, objectively, but witnessing it from the people you personally rub shoulders with was a harder pill to swallow than having to watch some of the anti-clone protests on the holonews. You’ve not tried to remember the more colourful misconceptions about clone troopers aired by prim soft-handed mid-levellers as they sat in a lobby you can remember the Coruscant Guard clearing rubble from with nothing but their hands. However, you do very vividly remember someone from two floors up asking you if you’d ‘really feel safe’ living next to ‘those walking warmongers’, being young and living on your own. You’d shut that down, of course, and the resulting vote had passed in favour.

You’d honestly half expected the troopers to reject the place after that, and you wouldn’t have blamed them either. 

Everyone had known the day they moved in, had pretended not to watch as a GAR issue speeder loaded with two armoured figures and a meagre quantity of possessions had pulled up on the walkway and made their way cautiously inside. You’d thought about introducing yourself, knocking or something, but concluded in the end that they didn’t need anyone else ogling them. You’d figured that there would be plenty of time for that later...and now here you are, a whole year on, and that glimpse is just about the closest you’ve ever gotten to them. You think they still spend a lot of time off-planet, helping with the reconstruction missions the now-voluntary GAR conducts throughout the Mid and Outer Rims. You hadn’t even been sure that they were home at the moment, actually. 

There’s no doubting it now, as the frantic thumps and raised voices continue. Through your balcony door, cracked open to catch some of the soft breeze the weather engineers have scheduled today, you can make out a little of what their voices are saying, one frantic and forceful, the other softer, but no less worried.

“ - kriffing hell, can’t believe we’ve lost...Rex will have our heads…”

“...can’t have gotten far...can’t even walk!”

“ - already checked the fresher, Echo!”

“It can’t hurt to check twice...knew we shouldn’t have…”

You bite your lip, turning round while debating whether you should offer your help. Then you freeze. The baby on the other side of your caf table freezes too, chubby hand poised to grab the cookie you’d been saving for later. They’re standing on legs that wobble a bit, and there’s a glint of steely determination in the dark eyes that fix on your face. 

“Hello,” you say a little weakly, realising very abruptly what the troopers must have lost.

The kid appraises you for a moment longer, brow furrowed and intent. There’s a huge amount of judgement there for such a small face, those focused eyes taking you in for several very long seconds. Then they huff, and very deliberately turn their attention back to the cookie. You smother an incredulous laugh. 

“Not impressed, huh?” You say, carefully setting your knitting aside and uncovering your legs. “Can’t say I blame you, I prefer cookies too.”

The baby doesn’t dignify this with any attention, instead making a soft crowing noise as their little fingers strike victory and retract with the cookie firmly in grasp. When they immediately move to cram it into their mouth you burst into action, leaning across the caf table to swipe it. Just those mere seconds of contact have made it slightly damp. 

The baby’s face scrunches in outrage, and they let go of the table edge, sinking down onto their padded bottom with a sharp, high noise of annoyance. They don’t cry, but the frown is something spectacular.

“Sorry, kid.” You force yourself the rest of the way up, keeping a hold on the cookie with one hand. Can kids this young even eat solid foods yet? Do they have any allergies? You don’t have any siblings, so the last time you were around a baby was when you were one. For all this one’s bravado, they look awfully breakable. “I’ll hang on to this for now, yeah?”

You don’t think that they’re old enough to understand what you’re saying, but the huff the baby lets out feels extremely pointed. You stare down at them on your rug.

“Don’t suppose you could give me any pointers on how to hold you?”

It turns out babies are wriggly. You put the cookie down long enough to hoist the kid into your arms and attempt to manoeuvre their little arms and legs so that they’re not jabbing into your vital organs, but at the sight of the food being placed far away, the kid lets out a piercing noise, right into your ear, and attempts to kamikaze their way back to it. A body that two seconds ago was ramrod solid and deliberately unwieldy is suddenly boneless and impossible to hold onto. Your brain goes empty of everything but wrestling with several pounds of struggling infant. 

You end up on the floor, eventually, but at least both of you are in one piece. You’re breathing heavily. The kid’s face is thunderous. It’s very cute, but you can’t wait to give it back and appreciate that from a distance. Somehow, you manage to settle them onto your hip.

“What the f - heck was that for?” You ask, purely to make yourself feel better. Even if the kid could answer you, you get the feeling they simply wouldn’t. “Was it because I put the biscuit down?”

The kid makes a huffing noise. You roll your eyes, but can’t help smiling. The baby’s dark, just-curling hair is soft against the skin of your upper arm, and their weight is warm and solid against your side. 

“I’m not taking it away from you. I’m gonna let you have it, just need to make sure it’s safe for womp-rats first. And return you before those poor guys tear their place apart, okay?”

You re-collect the cookie and struggle back to your feet, looking towards the open balcony. Visions flash through your mind of the baby pulling that boneless trick out there, with nothing but spacelanes separating them from the ground 50 stories below, and...no. You’re not even vaguely risking that. The front door is definitely the better option, but somehow more daunting, as you stand before the neighbouring apartment with your heart in your throat.

The second you knock, the frantic voices inside cut off abruptly, and then you hear the mad scramble that ensues to reach the door. It wooshes open, and suddenly you’re face to face with your neighbours for the first time. 

They’re less identical than you’d expected. Maybe that’s a stupid thought, but it’s the first one that stumbles, half formed and dazed, into the open void your brain has just become. The second, very unhelpful follow up, is that they’re also much prettier than you’d expected. Not that you’d necessarily expected anything, but - you’ve never seen one of the clones without their helmets before. The Corrie Guard, back during the war, had made a point of never taking them off as far as you’d ever seen. That was apparently a crying shame. One of them has thick, dark curly hair, a tidy goatee, and a tattoo on his forehead. The other’s hair is a sharp, startling white, interrupted by metal nodes of some sort. Some sort of post-war medical adaptation, you assume. He’s slightly leaner all over, his eyes a little larger in his face. But the way both of them sag against the door frame is exactly the same.

“Thank the fucking force,” The dark haired one breathes, clutching at his chest.

The other trooper elbows him sharply in the ribs. “Fives.”

“She’s ten months old, Echo. She’s not gonna repeat it.”

“She just escaped from our apartment after General Skywalker swore up and down she’s not mobile yet. It’s gonna be her first word just to spite us.”

You laugh before you can stop yourself and flush a little when all attention snaps back to you.

“That I can believe,” you force yourself to say. “Hi. I think I found something of yours.”

You hold out your armful of infant and - you presume Fives is his name - reaches out to take her, groaning in relief. 

“Thank you,” he says, fervent, taking a moment to bury his face into the child’s hair. She puts a determined thumb into her mouth and stares at your hand, still clutching the cookie. The trooper turns her in his arms and holds her up at eye level. “You are a menace, Leia. I thought we were gonna have to call in a search.”

It’s nice to have a name for that little displeased face. Leia regards the trooper for a moment before sticking her hand into his face. His eyes are impossibly warm as he pretends to gobble her fingers, and it is, quite frankly, cute as fuck. He turns his attention back to you, but just as he opens his mouth, the sound of a comm going off somewhere behind them cuts through the moment.

“That’ll be the General,” The white-haired trooper laughs. “You better take her and show him, before he raises down half of Coruscant trying to get here.”

Fives nods, flashing another blinding grin at you, before he and Leia are gone. The trooper you’re left with blows out a breath and scrubs a hand over his face. 

“Well,” he says, his mouth crooking into a wry smile. “That was exciting.” 

He sticks his hand out, and when you take it, his palm is rough and his grip firm. You give him your name without thinking about it, staring into the kind, golden depths of his eyes. They crinkle at the corners when he grins. 

“I’m Echo. And - I know Fives already said it, but seriously, thank you. Where the shab did you find her?”

“Trying to steal biscuits from my caf table,” you say, laughing openly when Echo drops his face back into his hand and groans with embarrassment. “I think she got in through the balcony door.”

“Force, we didn’t even think of that. What a first impression, you must think we’re idiots.” 

You shake your head, enamoured by the faint colour you can see rising in his cheeks. He brings his metal hand up to his face and presses the cool prosthetic against his skin. 

“Not at all. You should have seen the look she gave me when I found her, she knows she’s in charge.” 

Echo smiles bashfully. “It’s the first time we’ve ever won the lot to babysit the twins, our Company would have crucified us if we’d lost her.” 

“Then I’m very glad to have provided a rescue.” 

There’s a short silence as you fidget with your sleeves, strange anticipation churning in your gut. There’s no reason to keep standing here now that the pleasantries are done with, the baby exchanged, but...some part of you resists it, almost looking for an excuse to stay. He and Fives are the first new friendly faces you’ve met in a long time, soothing a sting you didn’t know was there.

“I - um -,” Echo begins suddenly, shifting a little. The colour in his face deepens. “I really like your plants. I’ve always meant to say something. We keep trying to guess what they are.” 

“Oh!” Your heart turns over in your chest and you wouldn’t be able to stop the smile bursting onto your face if you tried. Those damn things are so hard to keep alive through the unpredictable engineered weather. You don’t think you’re particularly house proud, but you do preen a little that he’s noticed. “Thank you, I, um, I water them every morning. I could...go through them with you one day? If you like?” 

Echo’s head dips an assent. “I’d really like that.” 

You linger a moment longer, a pleased thrill still lingering in your belly, but there’s no putting it off now. “I suppose I should let you go. But...please knock if you need anything.” 

Echo smiles. “Hopefully not in pursuit of any more babies.” 

You’re just about to turn away when you remember the cookie in your hand, slightly smushed now. “Oh! Can you give this to Leia? I wanted to make sure she could eat them, first, but I promised. Seemed only fair, since she went to all that trouble.” 

Echo huffs, his expression softening, taking the cookie with careful hands. “I’ll make sure her highness gets it.” 

Then you go back to your quiet apartment, somehow deflated when faced with the monotony of your knitting and your music. You hear a few more sounds from the other side of the wall, faint laughter, perhaps a child squealing, and find your curiosity has not been sated at all.

It’s a wonderful surprise, then, when two days later on a clear, sunlit morning, you slide open your balcony door to water the plants and find Echo waiting, his face tipped up to the brightening sky. There is a packet of cookies resting on the duracrete by his feet, and two steaming mugs of caf on the railing by his elbow. 

It feels like something special...It feels like a beginning. 

taglist // @nelba @leias-left-hair-bun @battletales @bad-batch-of-fics @iscream4clones @majorshiraharu @snippytano @missinashkin @808tsuika @eries45 @dom-i-nic // 

[sleepymccoy]

Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head​ that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff 

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1  Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

-

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't  smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair).  I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh)  but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride)  but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

[katsukikitten]

A/N DAY TWO!!! Please enjoy the dramatics requested by @alwayslost123

"I'm...I have..." Words are lost to you as you attempt to break the terrible news to your best friend. Scarlet eyes rest on you patiently while rage lies just beneath the surface. Ready to tear apart whomever is making your vision blur.

Your hear aches as realization washes over you, that you'll never be able to call him your own. You damn yourself for being too fucking scared to ever admit to him that you liked him.

Hell at this point loved him. He helped you all through UA and even now he helps you with your training although you had given up hero work.

Your mind tortures you with flashes of the two of you laughing, of him pinning you to the ground something different flashing in his eyes as he leans closer but suddenly changes his mind.

Maybe you were never meant to call him yours.

Tears fall from your cheeks in fat droplets as you try but fail to wipe them away.

"I...I'm sorry Bakugou. I..." Sturdy arms wrap around tightly as you sob into his chest. Breathing in that intoxicating caramel smell that normally soothes you but today it is bitter sweet.

Today could be the last time that you smell it. You push him away, swallowing down the lump in your throat and furiously wiping at your tears. You force your voice to come out even as you steel yourself for his reaction.

"I'm getting married to Todoroki in a few months." You watch him turn rigid as he let's the information sink in. He grits his teeth until it hurts as he stares at you. When he doesn't speak you go on, "It's been arranged."

"But you don't even love him!" He explodes, fingers popping even as they grip against the concrete of the roof top to the brownstone townhouse you bought.

"I...." You swallow again, "We are compatible for making strong grade quirks."

You let your hand catch aflame as crimson eyes watch blue and red fire lick at your fingers. Flame that has guided him through dark times, flame that had fed his fuel to want something more.

Something he will not allow himself to have.

He grits his teeth again, pearly whites threatening to break before he sucks his teeth.

"So you're going to do nothing?" Silence stretches between the two of you as the stars wink overhead, the moon yawning in the black sky.

"It will make Father happy." Bakugou sucks his teeth to your response before glares at you.

"Then don't come crying to me." He stands, jumping from the third story.

"Bakugou! Wait!" Your vision blurs once more as you watch his strong back walk into the night, his ash blonde head never looking back.

Days of silence pass between the two of you causing severe chest pains on your side. You half wonder if he ever really cared for you or if what you saw in his eyes was your own desperate attempt to feel something.

To feel loved.

Placing your phone screen down you sigh deeply. Watching your microwaved meal for one spin endlessly before your phone chimes. Excitement grips your heart as you reach for your phone. Praying to Kamisama for it to be a message from Katsuki. Instead your heart shatters in your chest when you read a message from your father.

*"You're moving in with Todoroki tomorrow. A crew will be by to pack your stuff up and transport it. Your house will be on the market shortly."*

You scream sending your phone through the drywall of your bedroom as it soars through another wall before cracking into glittering shards agaisnt the exposed brick in the living room.

Bluish red flame engulfs you and your bed, eating away at everything around you as nothing bring you joy anymore.

Your white bed spread quickly becomes blackened as it is swallowed whole and spit out in ash, flames moving into its next food source licking up the walls. Bubbling paint, distorting photos of your graduating class. Of a candid shot of you and Bakugou arm and arm laughing after training.

Before long the whole building is enveloped in the hot kiss of your quirk, as the bed frame finally buckles from your weight and succumbs to ash.

Even your clothes specially designed around your dangerous quirk begin to catch from the heat alone but still you do not move. Like an ember fueling the fire you sit still mourning over the fact that you cannot burn by your own flame.

Ice soars in large waves into your home or what's left of it as two toned eyes search endlessly. Sending more ice in attempt to cool the flame only to be melted and evaporated. More ice is plunged towards the fire until it is contained, flame frozen in time as an iceberg decorates where your couch once was. Frantic eyes find you shortly before emotion twists his handsome face.

It looks as if his heart is breaking in two. Funny you didn't think his heart was anything but frozen solid.

Still he approaches, sitting among the ash across from you as he brushes away some of your hair.

"I know this is hard....." He sighs out, words failing him as they always do, "But I will never force myself upon you. I will always be faithful to you and should you wish we could never have children. But please...."

He swallows down some more smoke before sending ice to surround you two. Beads of sweat collect on half of his body as the ice drips pure water onto your soot covered and deeply charred hardwoods.

"Lets get through this together." He offers you his hand then and in that moment as you watch his hair dampen sticking to his forehead you wonder.

Would it be so hard to love him?

Todoroki has always been kind to you, helpful and even now knows the right thing to say.

*"So you're going to do nothing?"*

Harsh words echo in your head again encouraging you to reach for what is now your future.

But what Bakugou doesn't understand is that there is no defying your father.

Days turn into weeks and living with Todoroki isn't so unpleasant. He cooks you meals, holds the door open for you. He helps you with your studies and even draws the bath for you first. He picked out a stunning ring that fits your personality of hellish fire. A diamond that blinded you when he opened the block box asking sheepishly if you would marry him.

As if you had a choice.

But he did try to make you feel as if it was.

Things could still go right between you too considering the wedding was now only two days away. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have children with him, he was attentive to your needs. He would surely be even more so for his offspring right?

His hero work would have him gone often but you did prefer your alone time. Like tonight you're curled up on the couch reading as the late morning yawns into early afternoon.

A harsh knock comes at your door as you sigh. Damning your father for telling the wedding coordinator where you two lived. She had been bothering you nonstop about nonsensical items, like the color of your silverware as if you cared that fucking much about this.

If you had it your way you would have just eloped!

Actually if you had it your way there would be no wedding at all. But you can never have it your way as long as that man lives.

"Priscilla please I don't care what color it is just pi..." You shout as you yank open the thick wooden door, you quickly notice a man dressed in black standing on your stoop "Bakugou?!"

"Run away with me." He says grabbing onto your wrist. Ready to yank you out of that house with only the clothes on your back. If you came with him he'd buy you whatever the fuck you wanted, "I've got a job lined up in America. The plane leaves tonight."

"Katsuki...The wedding is two days away! My father wants..." You start but he turns on you, vein popping in his head as his age old temper begins to show, fingers gripping onto your biceps tightly.

"I don't give a fuck what your father wants or what Todoroki wants!" He shouts, "What do you want?!"

When you don't answer his voice softens with his grip, palms sliding down to your elbows.

"What do *you* want?" He asks exasperated, your vision swims as it all sinks in.

Was he fucking serious? Running away with him after he hadn't spoken a word to you in almost three months.

After he stomped on your already broken heart, now he wanted to do something? Wanted to try to fix it?

Tears well in your eyes as you look between two burning scarlet orbs.

"Katsuki...I can't do this." You rip from his grip and slink back into your new house slamming the door on your happiness forever.

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💎💎💎💎💎💍💍💍💍

Delicate hands place a veil into your hair, turning you into something you're not entirely ready for.

"You're a gorgeous bride." Your mother sighs as she places her hands onto your donned in white shoulders. You blink furiously to keep your eyes from over flowing.

"Your Father and I had an arranged marriage. Look how we turned out." She smiles at your reflection as you fight to keep from full on sobbing.

Yes look how the two of you turned out, hardly speaking to one another even as they raised you.

Despite all of that there was hope for you and Todoroki, eventually you could have been happy until an angry ash blonde showed up and for what?

Priscilla burts through the doors to the little bride suite.

"Show time!!!" She sings ushering yourself and your mother through the door.

Your palms become clammy as your heart accelerates, spying Todoroki through your veil. You walk to the beat of the music as you march down the aisle, past hundreds of people. Cameras flash capturing your long train and tight boddess. Somehow you make it to the altar only to realize that Shota looks more handsome up close, blushing slightly as you do. Stunned into silence by your beauty alone.

"We are gathered here today...." The officiant starts and you loose track as you stare into heterochromatic eyes.

"If anyone objects speak now or forever hold your piece." Silence falls over the room as the officiant waits.

As if anyone would ever dare to get in the way of your Father's plans.

Suddenly a boom rings out over head, screaming erupts as something fall from the ceiling.

Your heart stops in your chest as you watch the dust clear, leaving a silhouette of a popping hot man.

He points to the officiant, explosions the only sound echoing in the marbled hall.

"NO. I OBJECT WHATEVER THE FUCK I HAVE TO SAY. HE DOESN'T LOVE HER!" His explosions stop before he points to himself, " I DO! AND SHE DOESN'T LOVE HIM!!"

A collective gasp falls over the guests as your cheeks burn, silently thankful that he was here.

That he came back.

His breath comes out in ragged and wrath filled as he shouts.

"SHE LOVES ME!"

[saelwen]

Maglor x Dragon!Reader

Maglor x Dragon!Reader

Request from a lovely anon:

Just giving an idea. Maglor and dragon reader. Maglor was just singing peacefully in the forest then he suddenly meets dragon reader. Instead of menacing and dark, dragon reader is purely white and has feather wings. Dragon reader is also a total sweetheart and kind that it's unbelievable they are Morgoth's creation. Plot twist they are Ancalagon's kid. Maglor and Dragon reader then became friends. Silly idea but what ya think?

Masterlist

Warning: Angst, fluf

Words: 2k

A tired sigh fell from Maglor's lips as he puts down his harp beside him. He looks up to the bright blue sky, seeing the beautiful clouds moving slowly in the blue canvas.

It was another lonely day for him. His brothers had gone for one of their hunts which Maglor didn't like very much, preferring to stay in his room playing on his harp. But lately, he has been lonely. The whish of returning to Valinor haunted his dreams, longing to see his mother and the beautiful sight of the blessed lands. He couldn't say this to his brothers, they wouldn't understand and call him a traitor. Cowards for not be brave enough to finish the oath of his father but Maglor thought that all the misery and destruction that his family did, all this awful war against the Valar and Morgoth it wasn't worth it just for some jewels.

Maglor wanted to go back to his real home, to seek comfort on his mother's arms. Listening to her gentle voice saying that everything is going to be okay but he knew that it wasn't since if he goes back to Valinor, he would have to pay for the crimes of his father and brothers.

His thoughts were interrupted by a roar like thunder booming in the skies. He stood up from his seat by the window and saw a massive form falling from the sky into the woods near his fortress.

"What in Eru was that?" he whispers under his breath.

Maglor wraps his cloak around him, grabbing his sword, he walks out of his room and mounted his stallion. He grabs the reins tightly and orders his horse into a fast trot, going towards the direction where the creature had fallen. Trying to not get much attention on him.

After a while of searching the forest, Maglor finally got a clue where the creature might be since he found a gigantic pool of dark blood in the middle of a clearing. He followed the blood and found himself at the entrance to a cave. Maglor could hear the painful growls and whimpers coming from inside the dark den.

Grabbing tightly his sharp sword, Maglor took a few steps inside, his grey eyes alert to any kind of threat that could bring him harm. A gasp fell from his lips as he saw a beautiful white-haired maiden curled in the cold ground, the same dark blood that he had found early was pouring from your side, where was a large wound.

You were gorgeous! Your pale skin and pure white hair remind him of the pearls of Alqualondë. There were scales spread through your body which confused him since you look just mere beautiful mortal but something told that wasn't the case.

You lift slowly your head and shiver in fear when you saw him standing there with his shining sword on his hand, ready to strike.

"P..Please..." you whimper while lifting your bloody hands in surrender. "Don't hurt me!"

As the black-haired elf heard your pleads, he lowers his sword. His gorgeous grey eyes study you closely, noticing your pale cat-like eyes and the whitish scales on you neck and arms.

"Who are you?" his voice was soft and sweet but still firm enough to make you shake in your boots.

You took a deep breath, looking down at your open wound. "I don't think that you want to know..." you whisper while cupping your wound. A hiss fell from your lips as you try to stop the bleeding. In an instant, the Noldor elf was beside you with a red cloth in his hands. He shoves away your hand and wraps the soft fabric around your torso, tight enough to stop the wound from bleeding. Happy with his job, the elf took a step back and bows his head slowly.

"I think I would love to know... I'm Maglor," he said gently. "Nice to meet you."

You sigh tiredly and nod to him, resting your back against the cold stone. "I'm Y/n...Daughter of Ancalagon..." as you said that name, his eyes went wide which didn't surprise since everyone knows who's your father.

Maglor stood up and took a step back, his long fingers wrapping around the handler of his sword. "Ancalagon?...Impossible," he whispers, his grey eyes narrowing in confusion and fear. "You look... human? How?" he asked.

You fixed your pale eyes on his. "I look human because I can change forms... I was being pursued by my father so I had to shape to something he couldn't know that was me." you said while trying to contain your tears, the cruel memories of the thing that your father did to you were coming back in full force. You force a fake smile and nod to the elf. "Thank you for helping me with my wound, Prince Maglor." you knew well who he was and who was his family. Since your birth, all you could hear was the stories of the Noldor folk.

Maglor nods slowly and looks down at your wound. "I'm guessing that was your father who did that," he said while pointing to your bloody side. You nod gently, starting feeling very tired all a sudden. The long nights and days of running away from your father's grasp, not have drink or eat for nearly a week are starting to take effect.

As you were closing your eyes, you saw Maglor walking away, mounting his stallion and galloping away from the cave. You smile sadly, you were hoping to have at least a friend but you were a creation of Morgoth...Nothing good could happen to you.

---

A warm hand gently shook you, waking you for your deep slumber. Your eyes shot open quickly, scared that your father had found you again but to your surprise, you were met by a familiar pair of gentle grey eyes.

Maglor stood beside you with a cup that contains something green inside. "Drink this...it will help to heal your wound," he said while resting the cup on your lips. The strong smell of the strange liquid made your nose wrinkle in disgust which made him chuckle. "It may taste bad but it will be good for you."

You nod and drank all at once, gagging at the awful flavor. When you finished, Maglor helps you lie down and change your bandages to clean ones. You notice a basket filled with delicious food in the back, Maglor follows your gaze and smile gently.

"I brought you some food," he said while he finished putting the clean bandages. "I will make you a plate."

Your stomach growled loudly as you see him putting a slice of warm bread and other kinds of delicious food on a plate. He feeds you slowly since you hadn't eaten solid food in your stomach for a week. It was hard for not bury your face into the plate and eat like a feral animal but you knew that it wouldn't end well for you.

When you finished your meal, you lie down again, pulling the silky blanket up to your chin that Maglor had brought with him. You felt your skin feverish and Maglor must have sense it since he put a wet cloth on your forehead, trying to stop the fever.

You felt weak and vulnerable and you didn't like that. In all your long life, you spend days trying to survive since you weren't like your siblings or father. A tear fell from your eye as you thought of your old life. The things that they force you to do.

Maglor cleans the cold tear away and tucks a piece of white hair behind your ear. "Life hasn't been good to you, am I right?" he said gently.

You nod and sniff, letting the tears run down freely. "My past was full of torture and other things...because I'm not like the other dragons." you took a deep breath and look to the stone wall beside you. "I'm filled with light as my father said...and he had to extinguish it." There was a long silence, Maglor was looking at you with sad eyes, pitying you and you hate it.

You roll over to the side so your back was to him and try to fall back to sleep which wasn't hard since you were still very weak. You heard Maglor sigh and felt his warm hand stroking your arm, spreading a comfortable feeling through your body.

---

You two made this as routine for a month. Maglor would come in the morning with food and healing supplies, he changes your bandages and filled your belly. You two become really close during that time, he would share some stories of Valinor which you adore it and it become a dream of yours to see the blessed lands. Sometimes he would play his harp, lulling you to sleep with his magnificent voice.

Slowly, you begin becoming stronger. Your wound was completely healed by the end of the month which was good and bad news. You knew that you have to get out of this place and search for a better home, maybe something in the mountains...but you didn't want to leave Maglor.

He had grown in your heart and you feel things, that you didn't understand, for him. Wishing that his kissable lips were on yours, kissing hungrily but you knew that never would happen.

This time when Maglor enters the cave, you were standing up, fully heal. You had his cloak wrapped around your naked body since you hadn't any clothes.

"Good Morning, Y/n!" he said cheerfully.

You smile sadly to him and nod. "Good Morning, Maglor." the smile on his face vanished when he notices your cheerless voice. "Today is the day... I must go."

Maglor swallows dryly and said nothing, shocked by the sudden news. A single tear fell from his eye and was followed by a small sob. You stood still, seeing the man that have saved you, crying because you had to leave him.

"No... Not you too..." he whisper under his breath.

You walk to him and cup his soaked cheek, feeling your tears running down your eyes. "I have too... I only bring you misery if I stay here," you said gently, smiling sadly to him.

He shook his head and pull you into a bear hug. "No! No, you wouldn't!" he whisper against your ear. "Don't go without me! Please... Take me with you! There's nothing for me here..." he said while pulling back a little, looking to your pale eyes.

You sigh and nod, feeling excited all a sudden. "Okay...but to where we would go? My father could find us and that something you wouldn't want." you look down to your tangled hands, his fingers rubbing gently your skin.

Maglor looks outside, seeing the sun shining bright in the west. "Let's go to Valinor... There we will be safe from your father and the others."

Your eyes bulge as you hear his words. "Valinor?! Maglor, the Valar will not accept a creation of Morgoth on their lands!" you said.

"Yes, but they will see the good in you as I saw... Don't worry, Y/n" he rests his forehead on yours, his lips hovering over yours. "Everything will be okay." he leans down and crushes his lips into yours, kissing you lovely.

You two pour all your love into the kiss, showing your feelings without words that weren't needed. He pulls back and smiles softly to you. "Let's go home, Y/n."

You nod slowly and walk outside. Taking a deep breath, you let your true form set free. Maglor stood at the entrance of the cave, looking up at you in awe, seeing how massive you were.

You were a pure white dragon, with massive wings and two large horns on each side of your gigantic head. Your whitish scales shine brightly as the sunlight bathe you, glowing beautifully.

You lower your shoulder and let him climb up. Maglor sits comfortably in your back and grabs your spikes. "You're beautiful, Y/n!" he whispers which made you chuckle.

"Well, thank you, my love!" you said with a deep voice, making the ground shake. "Ready?"

He nods and smiles in excitement. "Ready!"

With that, you jump up high in the air and flap your massive wings, making the trees shake violently. You fly you two towards the west, following the sun. To where you and Maglor will finally find happiness.

Hey Guys!! Here’s a new one shot with Maglor! How do you think the valar receive them? With open arms or with frowns on their faces? I hope you guys enjoy it and feel free to comment and tell me what you think!

Also, go follow my new blog! @always-be-lilith-never-eve​

XOXO

[emathevampire]

1, 4, 9, 17, and 22 for the romance ask!

1. What drew your character to their LI and vice versa?      Amanthos and Arekos were childhood friends, when Arekos was sent away to the arcane academy Amanthos was his first friend there. Arekos saw him sitting alone in a corner reading and not eating, sat next to him and shared some of the lunch he made, and the rest is history.      For Psamion to the other two, purely physical attraction. Arekos was, at the time he met Psamion, performing as a stripper to pay for his necromancy education. Amanthos was working the front desk at the library when Psamion offered to teach him a secret fey sex ritual that could make his body stronger (a very appealing thing to Amanthos, who before becoming undead struggled with all manner of ailments related to his poor constitution).

4. Their favorite physical feature on each other?      Amanthos loves Psamion’s smile and the way his grey eyes always seem to have a glimmer of mischief to them, and Arekos’ figure in general, though he has a particular fascination with his hands (likely because, when Amanthos was alive, Arekos could not touch him without risking harming him with negative energy and thus never removed his gloves out of concern for his safety).      Arekos’ favourite physical thing about Psamion would probably be his strength, as Psamion’s muscles are functional as well as decorative, which is not something one sees much of when one’s time is spent surrounded by wizards and other scholarly types. About Amanthos, his face, just in general, particularly now that he can touch it without fear.      If you think Psamion can decide on just one feature to call his favourite, you’re wrong. He’s been a pansexual disaster for 2,775 years and isn’t about to start picking just one of anything now. Truthfully, I don’t think he even knows, and would just say “I dunno, everything?”

9. How open are they with their feelings?      Amanthos and Arekos spent the better part of a millenium mutually pining for each other until Psamion elected to do something about it, so you tell me.      Psamion wears his heart on his sleeve, the other two are more reserved. Arekos is simply anxious and a hopeless romantic who can’t express himself, Amanthos is more of a Spock type where you think he’s a cold and heartless bastard unless you know what you’re looking for.

17. Their ways of expressing their love.      Psamion is very physically affectionate, mostly, but he’s also a wealthy adventurer and likes to spread that wealth around. Arekos is a mom-friend, he shows he cares by taking care of them, making them food, healing their wounds, he’s less enthusiastic about PDA than Psamion but he can be very charismatic and romantic when he wants to be. Amanthos prefers to keep things private, but like Psamion he likes to give gifts, which could be anything from cute cat socks or books to a dozen dragon corpses donated to Arekos’ research.

22. From the outside looking in, what is their dynamic like?      Just plain weird, probably. We have a perpetually-sunburned sailor, a fashion-savvy necromancer, and an undead librarian monk, all of whom by all rights seem to have nothing in common outside all being the same race of elf. One of them seems so aloof as to be cold towards the other two, yet at the same time is willing to let a whole universe fall to ruin if it meant he could come home to them. One of them seems so hopelessly in love with the other than he’s willing to defy the gods and all their laws just to kiss him one last time. And the third, who philanders all across the world and only sees them maybe once every few years, who never expected to catch feelings but here he is, just wants them to be happy together when he’s not around. You don’t keep a relationship going for 300 years unless it’s built of some pretty sturdy stuff, though, and the more time you spend watching them together the more it becomes clear that despite their differences, the foundation there is rock solid, and if they’ve survived everything that’s tried to break them up thus far you’d be pretty foolish to think you could succeed where all the powers that be of the multiverse could not.

[junionigiri]

and you say, stay Chapter 5 - Fly Me To The Moon

[former title: just another secretary story!]

Summary: Director Todoroki takes Secretary Uraraka out after work.

Rating: T

The Office of the Executive Director begins the next day in abject and utter suffering. Struggling through their hangovers, they each draft out their gravely-worded apology letters while passing out a bottle of aspirin between them.

“Oh my god, I can’t even remember how we got home, Kiri!” Mina whines, slapping a cold compress over her forehead. “I woke up on the bedroom floor feeling like I got punched in the face! Where were you? You should have carried me to bed!”

“I was home too,” Kirishima groans through a hefty chug of his protein shake. “I passed out on the stairs, remember? I felt so bad I couldn’t do a single dragon flag this morning! Not manly!”

“I, too, awakened in a most uncomfortable position! My head was at the foot of my bed, my feet were on my pillows, and my pyjamas were inside-out!” Iida adds in utter humiliation. “How did we arrive home safely? Did the Director teleport us home, somehow?”

“No, he drove all of us home,” Ochako answers, gathering all their letters for them. “So you should all thank him when you can, okay?

“Really? The Director was there last night?” Monoma grumbles irately. “Figures. All I remember is the vague stench of evil and existential dread. I bet I drank so much so I can ignore his demonic aura.”

Camie snorts. “Cuz, you sat right in the bossman’s lap. You got no rights anymore.”

“What?!”

Monoma demands to see evidence, and Camie happily complies to everyone’s horror. Her many blurry selfies of the night before painted an awful, embarrassing picture. Only the owner of the phone finds this amusing. Her promises not to upload anything can only do so much to stave off the shame.

“Utsushimi-kun! I implore you to get rid of this evidence!” Iida begs.

Camie hums. “Change my mind. You can start with an orange frappuccino~”

As another argument goes forth, Ochako leaves them with an amused smile and makes her way to Director Todoroki’s office.

With a gentle knock, she enters the room and finds him seated behind his computer. Unlike her officemates, there is no evidence of a headache or exhaustion in him. It would have been infuriating if she had the same terrible hangover as the rest of them, but luckily she watched her intake last night and her head’s clear.

Not-so-luckily though, she clearly remembers laughing at the Director and everyone else. And she can’t pretend to forget if he asks her about it, because just thinking about everyone cuddling the Director makes her want to burst out laughing again.

Because of that, she places the apology letters over to his desk with her own letter on the top of the pile. “Here is all that you asked us to accomplish, Director,” she says as politely as she can.

Todoroki hums in disinterest, eyes not moving from a set of data on his computer. It’s obvious that he’s going to ask her to shred these documents later without so much as reading them. It’s some small relief for them at least, because then they can pretend none of this happened. “Asui from Marketing requested an emergency meeting with us about the art center project. You have all the proposals for the launch ready, right?”

“Of course, Director. We just need the Chairman’s approval. I’ve already sent an email to their office about it.”

He clicks his tongue and tugs on his tie in thought. “Send another reminder to Takami-san. I need an answer before lunch.”

“Yes, Director,” Ochako says, eyeing his fingers on the tie. While at first she hated that she had to fix his tie for him so often, it’s now a point of pride for her to keep the Director looking neat at all times. So much so that it annoys her to see it so crooked.

It’s pure muscle memory at this point that she’s stepping over to his side and her hands are flying to his tie, pulling at it expertly until it’s tidy. She took all the trouble convincing him that morning that he can wear this diamond-patterned tie instead of the solid dark blue ones that he preferred. She has to make sure that he looks perfect.

“You’re perfect.” Satisfied with the results, she looks up at him and directly meets his eyes.

The demon Director’s stare is famous for a lot of reasons--the color, the intensity, the way they make you feel like you’re both burning alive and freezing at the same time. It’s not a metaphor Ochako likes because being burned must feel terrible (his scar tells a story all on its own), and also she’s used to being the target of that stare when he’s irritated or dissatisfied, so she knows it in a way that cannot be enjoyed.

But now he’s staring at her the way he was last night at her doorstep. The burning feeling behind it is less like fire and more like the warmth of her blood rushing through her veins and the throb of her pulse. It’s intense, unwavering. Ochako’s hypnotized for exactly half a second too long.

“Thanks,” he says absentmindedly. “I could have done that myself.”

She snaps herself out of the trance. “With all due respect Director, you didn’t. But, noted.”

All the strange thoughts fly out of the window of the 65th floor office. It’s good that she’s reminded of how infuriating he is. His vague warning about how he shouldn’t underestimate her might be making her see him in a different (inaccurate) light, but she should know better. She bows and turns with a suppressed huff when he calls to her again, “Secretary Uraraka.”

She turns to him. After a thoughtful pause, he asks, “You speak with your colleagues differently, don’t you?”

She blinks. “Not that I know of, Director. Has anyone sent a complaint about the way I speak? I should apologize and clear up any misunderstandings--”

“No, not them.” He gestures out the door. “Iida and the others. Last night you spoke with them informally. Using ‘ sure thing’ or ‘ yup’ instead of ‘ of course,’ for example.”

“I… see.” Gosh, he sounds so weird just trying to talk in a casual way. “It’s only when we’re drinking. But if it offends you...”

He shakes his head. “It’s… fine. In fact, you may use that sort of language with me. Provided that it’s just the two of us, of course.”

Ochako stares at him incredulously. “Beg yer pardon?” she mutters by accident.

“Yes, like that.” Todoroki gives her a reassuring nod. “That’s what they call the Kansai accent, right?”

She tries not to slip into her accent again when she asks, “May I know what brought this on, Director?”

“Are you offended?”

“No, but… this is a strange request.”

He shrugs. “You seemed more comfortable speaking that way instead of the usual way you converse with me. Since I am giving the same freedom to Utsushimi, I am granting you the same thing.”

Well, Camie hasn’t talked to him directly since the interview and since she got drunk in front of him so she can’t say that it’s exactly the same freedom. Plus Ochako isn’t sure that the Director is just telling her that she can talk more naturally around him, or if he’s commanding her to do so. Frankly it’s making her sweat figuring out what he wants.

“If you say so, Director. Of course I’ll--”

“Not of course, ” Todoroki insists. “ Sure thing .”

Ochako gives him a strained smile. “S-sure thing, sir. I’ll keep it casual in front of you.”

Director Todoroki nods in satisfaction and gets back to work. Ochako walks out of the office and tries to do the same thing, but it’s suddenly hard to concentrate.

*

A few days later Ochako comes home tired as all hell and not in the best mood, as she does when the Demon Director is extra demonic. Honestly, for all his talk about wanting her to be more comfortable around him, he’s making it impossible for her to even breathe normally within his vicinity.

The art center project is now top priority to beat their competitors, so suddenly the office is rushing through all the things they were scheduled to do for the next two months, over the course of three weeks. The stocks of energy drinks and orange juice in the pantry is running dangerously low from their efforts to keep awake. It’s so bad that Monoma was even caught drinking ‘peasant’ instant coffee instead of his usual French press ones.

And Camie… oof. Ochako knows that she’s trying her best and that this is a lot of pressure for someone who’s new to the team, but she missed one of the financial reports completely during the staff meeting. And while both of them apologized for her mistake, Todoroki only directed his ice-cold glare at Ochako.

“Is this how you do transfer of duties, Secretary Uraraka?” She flinches just remembering the cutting edge of his voice. She hates it when he uses that because even though his standards are impossibly high, it tells her that he expected more from her, and she let him down.

Well at least she’s home an hour earlier than usual. Director Todoroki told her not to collect Victoria at his home as previously ordered. There’s just enough time for her to eat the convenience store katsudon she got on the way home, take a bath, and watch her soaps before angrily passing out on her couch.

… if only her phone would stop ringing! It takes all of her strength not to throw her food over her kitchen table when she fishes for her phone. The name on the screen gives her pause, however, and she’s extra careful to mind her tone when she answers, “Chief Midoriya?”

Midoriya Izuku opens up their conversation with another alarming cough. Ochako wonders if this is merely an unfortunate butt-dial until he stammers over the line, “A-ah! Hi, Uraraka-san! This is Midoriya Izuku from Endeavor’s Marketing Division! Oh, wait, you know that already, haha.”

Ochako laughs cautiously. Even over the phone, Midoriya’s usual nervousness is palpable. “Yes sir! How may I help you?”

“Er, yeah! So there’s this urgent thing that I need your help with that’s, um, related to work. It… it’s not weird or anything, it’s totally normal, nothing to be alarmed about. So the Director wants--no, not the Director, I mean-- koff koff koff! ’

Midoriya suffers another coughing fit so violent that it sends Ochako close to panic. “Are you okay sir?! Do you need someone to take you to the hospital?!”

“No, I’m fiiine. Please don’t ask. ” The chief takes a deep breath through the phone which seems to calm him down somewhat. “I’m expecting a package for work, but Secretary Hagakure made a mistake with the shipping address. You’re the one closest, so I was wondering if you could pick it up for me?”

That sounded like a weird mistake to make, but she also knew about the time Tooru-chan accidentally ordered twenty Hawaiian pizzas instead of the single calzone that Chief Midoriya wanted to eat for lunch. “Where do you want me to go?”

Midoriya gives her the exact address and pleads with her to be there in twenty minutes. “I hate to be a bother, but this is important for the company, so you can’t be late, okay? I’m counting on you, Uraraka-san!”

“Okay Chief! I’m heading out,” she says, rushing to her door. Twenty minutes to the address given to her is tight, but she’ll make it if she runs to and from the train station.

It’s good that she changed out of her office heels and into sneakers. She makes it to the address in fifteen minutes. It’s only then that she realizes that she’s in the location without knowing who to look for and what to expect.

Also, she’s in front of MightyLand, the amusement park in the middle of town dedicated to their governor, All Might. It’s closed today for some reason. It’s dark, quiet, and scary as amusement parks which are completely dark tend to be.

Ochako calls Midoriya in pure confusion and tells him, “I don’t think I’m at the right place, Chief.”

Midoriya laughs. “You’re exactly where you should be, Uraraka-san.”

Wondering what he means, she turns around just as the lights click open all around her, and the stagnant water of the fountain at the entrance springs to life.

She almost drops the phone from her hand as the fake castle gates of MightyLand flash and glow in pinks and blues and greens, sparkling prettily under the night sky. Soft string music plays in the background. The lights along the pathway light up one-by-one like fireflies, guiding her eyes to the entrance of the park.

Breathless, she watches Todoroki Shouto emerge from the gates. And while her eyes dart everywhere trying to make sense of what’s happening, his eyes are on nowhere else but her.

“Secretary Uraraka,” he calls as soon as he’s in front of her. He’s in the same three-piece suit and tie she picked for him this morning, but somehow he looked impossibly devilish in it tonight. “Fancy meeting you here on this ordinary night.”

She should pick her jaw off the floor any second now. “G… good evening, Director Todoroki,” she stammers. “Chief Midoriya sent me here on an important errand. I’m afraid I don’t understand what--”

“I allowed you to speak as you normally do around me, Uraraka.”

“Er… yeah, so,” what the fuck, she wanted to say, but instead she squeaks out, “What’s goin’ on?”

Satisfied, he says with an enigmatic smile, “Nothing special. Come.”

He signals her to follow him with a bend of a forefinger, and with very little strength in her to ask any further questions, she silently follows him into the park.

*

She should have known that there wasn’t anything ordinary waiting for her that night.

Even though everything is lit up and functional, the park is entirely empty except for them. While Ochako is busy gawking at all the sights, Director Todoroki is leading the way with brisk, purposeful steps. It takes some effort for her to keep up with his relentless pace until he gets to the destination in mind. Before she realizes it, they’re at the Smashville area of the park, where all the big, scary rides are.

Ochako stares up in horror at Todoroki’s first choice of activity: The Carolina.

“It’s a drop tower, 100 meters tall. We rise to the top at an excruciating pace of 10 km/h and drop at a speed of 100 km/h. Not the tallest or the fastest in the world, but it’s in the top ten,” the unfazed Director explains like he’s talking about the latest performance review. He holds a hand out to the seat at the very center and says, with a smile that looks evil, “After you.”

Ochako doesn’t know how she wills her feet to move, but with nobody to help her escape, she gets strapped in right next to her calm boss.

“D-Director--”

“I know you’re excited,” Todoroki says when they’re fifty meters above ground. “Don’t hold back.”

There’s nothing to hold back, not even her internal organs, when the first drop occurs. And the next one, and the next one. Ochako screams as she’s never screamed before, while Todoroki is so silent that she legitimately worries if he passed out in the middle of the ride.

He didn’t. With a spring in his step, he hops off from the ride and assists her shaking body off the ride. “You must be excited. Don’t worry. There’s more to come.”

Oh, god.

He takes her to the other extreme rides: The Nebraska, The California, The Detroit. Ochako never imagined that there’s more than one way to drop and spin and tumble anyone via a machine, but with each new ride she loses part of her soul and all sensation of her legs. Todoroki’s unnervingly steady after each ride, however, and just brings her to the next one without an ounce of hesitation.

By the time he brings her to the coup de grace of all the rides--The United States of Smash, the biggest roller coaster in Japan--she’s sure of it. The Demon Director brought her here to punish her for all her misdeeds.

“You must be looking forward to this one all night, Secretary Uraraka,” Todoroki says with that same dark smile. “If you’re ready to get on, then…”

He wants to kill her.

Rushing to the nearest wastecan, she hurls up an entire rainbow consisting of all the colors of the energy drinks she ingested that day.

Dammit, how embarrassing! She would have cried but it already takes a lot of effort to stop the earth from spinning in the wrong direction. She hurls for another solid minute when she feels a cold, comforting hand tentatively rubbing circles on her back.

The rush of cool surprisingly makes her feel better in an instant. She stands up and bows to him apologetically. “Director… sorry. This is really icky,” she whimpers helplessly. “I’m super weak when it comes to rides like this. I get dizzy real easy.”

He holds out his expensive silk handkerchief to her. “No, it’s my mistake. I should have anticipated that you had weak labyrinths.”

Were her ears deceiving her, or did that sound like an apology? She takes his handkerchief and wipes her face gratefully. “No… you looked like you wanted to do all those things, so I did my best to keep up.”

Todoroki blinks. “Ah. But I thought you wanted to…” When Ochako stares at him curiously, he pauses and considers his next words carefully. “I assumed that you liked this amusement park like everybody else does. I must have made an error in judgment.”

She laughs weakly. “Nah, I’ve always wanted to go back to MightyLand… just not Smashville.”

He ponders on this briefly. “... okay.” He holds his hand out ahead of them and tilts his head ever so slightly. “Secretary Uraraka, for tonight, you lead and I’ll follow. What do you want to do next?”

She doesn’t hide her surprise at that. And thinks about it. And smiles excitedly.

A long walk to the other side of the park later, Director Todoroki looks up at her ride of choice blankly. “Space World.” he deadpans.

It’s a cutesy, slow ride made for kids that simulates a gentle ride through outer space, complete with planets and aliens and constellations. In front is a statue of Thirteen, the famous space explorer that she idolized when she was in grade school.

“Let’s go in right now!!! Hurry, Director!”

She can hardly believe it. She had promised herself to get on this ride after her resignation, and she’s even willing to line up with all the little kids on a busy weekend just to get here. Yet here she is, no lines, no embarrassing explanations necessary, just her and the Director and the fake stars. Once the little train brakes in front of her she’s climbing on it in an instant.

She doesn’t even notice that she’s dragging Todoroki by the hand until they’re side by side in the car and the lights grow dim around them.

“Oh. Sorry,” she squeaks, thankful that outer space is supposed to be dark and he doesn’t get to see her blush.

Even then, she feels his gaze on her. But he says nothing as the first comet passes them by.

Ochako gasps. It’s a lot prettier than she imagined. The narration drones above them as an emulation of the Big Bang blooms above and around them like a flower. “Oh my gosh, look at that! I can’t believe it, it feels so real! Director, isn’t this pretty?!”

She feels the subtle turn of Director Todoroki’s head toward her. “Yes. Beautiful,” he mumbles somewhere close to her. After a pause, he adds, “I don’t think it feels real, though. If it did, we’d be suffocating by now. There’s no oxygen in the vacuum of space.”

“Geez, Director, just enjoy it.”

“I am,” he assures her, as the little car follows Jupiter into orbit.

But just like that, the ride is over. Ochako is sad when they have to get off--that is, until Todoroki tells her, “We can stay here if you want to go again.”

So she happily pulls him down on the seat next to her, pulls the bar down, and goes through the ride again.

Seven more times.

To his credit, Todoroki sits with her the entire time without complaints. Although she hears him silently fuming in his seat every time she goes “again, again!” She’d feel guilty over it, but dammit he made her go through the Carolina and the Nebraska and the California and the Detroit--twice!--and she needed this after all that he put her through that week.

Anyway, she makes it more tolerable for him by telling him everything she knows about the planets and the stars that the narration doesn’t tell them. “You know, Saturn has 150 moons! Some of them are bigger on Earth, and most of them are frozen solid! Some of them might have oceans under the surface too!”

“I know,” he says quietly. “But keep going.”

Of course he knows everything. But he doesn’t seem to want to ruin her mood, so there’s that. She continues feeding him all the space facts she knew happily.

The moment she says “Okay I’m good,” Director Todoroki gets them off that ride so quickly he almost lifts her up off the seat. “Back to earth with you, Secretary Uraraka.”

She giggles. “Why, Director! Speaking figuratively? I didn’t think you knew how.”

He blinks, as if astonished with himself. “Huh. I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

He drives her out of the park and into a different part of the city. There’s a field decorated with fairy lights, flowers (all hypoallergenic, he says when she braces herself for a sneeze attack) and a table set for two. Below them is the city, and above them are the stars. It’s mind boggling how beautiful the set-up is.

Todoroki leads her to the table. As soon as she sits down, there’s fancy vintage wine being poured in her glass. From a distance, she sees Sato doing finishing touches on a pretty plate. He winks at her when she catches his eye.

They’re served steak, and pasta, and fancy vegetables with violets on them. They’re all delicious as expected, but then Sato comes out with what seems like an unlimited supply of strawberry mochi for them and she’s instantly melting.

“Everything is so good, I can’t believe it,” she gushes. Oh man, the mochi is so good. If she kept up at it, she’s seriously going to explode.

“Good. I’m glad you like it.” There’s a smug look on his face when he says this. Dangerous…

“Director... what’s this about?” she asks suspiciously. This isn’t another ploy to get her to not quit, is it? If he ends up proposing again, she is seriously going to break something expensive (and probably regret it later).

He hums as he cuts up his mochi neatly. “We had a welcome party for Utsushimi. It’s only fair that you had a goodbye party of your own to show my appreciation before you leave. Nothing special, but something ordinary that you liked.”

No proposals then? That’s a relief. She was going to say no (really, she was!) if he had asked, and that would have ruined such a beautiful night. “Director… I’m sorry, but there’s nothing ordinary about what you did for me!”

He blinks. “Taking you to an amusement park and treating you to dinner isn’t ordinary?”

It’s almost amazing that he’s genuinely baffled, but then again she expected nothing less from Todoroki Shouto. “Closing an amusement park so we had it all to ourselves and then treating me to a five star dinner prepared by a famous chef to a picnic under the stars is not what I’d call an ordinary date, Director.”

Wait. Date? Did she say date? Is she out on a date with the Director?

“I see. I’ll take note of that.” Oh no, he didn’t deny it! “For next time.”

Next time?! Oh no. No no no. She can’t date the Director! Reiko and Yui would kill her if they found out! And she didn’t mean it, he suckered her into it, she didn’t want to, not really--

“But you really enjoyed yourself, so I consider this a success,” Todoroki says, satisfied. “You made me ride Space World seven times. I’d give you a salary deduction if you said you didn’t enjoy yourself.”

He is never going to let go of this, is he? Despite that, she laughs again. “I went overboard, didn’t I? It’s just that I’ve wanted to ride that since I was a little girl. You wouldn’t wanna hear it, it isn’t exactly a happy story.”

He stares at her. “Tell me.”

She swallows a bit of mochi reluctantly before starting her story with a sigh. “Well… Director, if you remember from my job interview nine years ago, I told you that I started working for you because I needed to earn money as quickly as possible. It’s obviously because my family wasn’t well-off, and I was the only one who can earn money somehow.”

“... I remember.”

“Well… even when I was little, we were poor. We lived where MightyLand was before the houses there got demolished, so that space is kind of special to us. Sometimes Ma and Pa had extra money to bring me and my cousin Yui there, but the money wasn’t ever enough for passes to get to rides like Space World. Even though I wished for it so hard, I never had the chance.”

Todoroki unexpectedly watches her tell her story in rapt attention. “I see. Why Space World?”

She shrugs. “Why not Space World? Outer space is great, isn’t it?”

She would have studied astrophysics in university if she could, but there’s no point in telling the Director that. He doesn’t seem like the type who feels guilty over anything, but she doesn’t want to test that by admitting that she chose to stay by his side instead of doing what she really wanted.

“So, that’s the sad, sad story of my youth. How about you, Director? You must have been a more interesting kid than I was.”

Todoroki keeps those distinct eyes on her--a black hole and an entirely blue galaxy, she suddenly thinks, moons with oceans hiding under frozen wastelands, the waves beneath straining to reach the surface. He seems to want to reveal them to her, just for a second, but the second passes, and time remains locked.

“No, not really,” he finally decides on saying. “Nothing much happened to me. I grew up as Enji’s heir from the start and worked hard from the moment I learned how to talk. I had no choice, because my older brother failed. Fuyumi and Natsuo were never given the chance to try.”

An older brother? Is he talking about Natsuo? While it’s true that Todoroki Natsuo won’t ever be the heir of Endeavor because he chose to become a physician instead, Ochako could have sworn the Director was talking about someone else.

“It was difficult, but I met most of his expectations, and now I’m here.” His eyes become cold again. Knowing that he gets this way after talking about Todoroki Enji is just the basics of dealing with Todoroki Shouto.

It was her mistake to even suggest bringing up his childhood. Now it’s her job to ease him out of it. “You did great, Director. If we were friends when we were kids, I’d have been the first to cheer you on.”

He freezes for just a second, a look of pure enigma in his eyes. “... is that so? Do you think we would have been friends if we met earlier?”

He seems to be expecting an honest answer out of her. Ochako guesses it has to do with certain parts of his past that he obviously doesn’t want her to see. She can’t blame him, but in all honesty, if they were both young and innocent, being friends with him wouldn’t have been hard. “Yes Director. I don’t doubt it.”

He looks genuinely taken aback by this. A second passes before he allows himself a relieved smile. “Thank you for your vote of confidence. I’d believe you more if you don’t quit.”

“Don’t even try it, sir.”

He clicks his tongue. And then, in true Todoroki fashion, the conversation’s suddenly over.

With the taste of strawberries lingering in her mouth, she follows as he leads them to a grassy knoll some ways away from dinner. Flowers of all colors surround their feet, glowing ethereally under the moonlight. The city below, the stars above. It’s a beautiful night.

And… cold. Ochako is painfully reminded that she’s in a thin silk blouse and the denim shorts she wore at home when a particularly sharp gust of wind blows past them.

Todoroki observes her with a stern look. “You’re not in appropriate clothing.”

“I didn’t know you were going to bring me to such a windy place, Director.”

“You weren’t supposed to know. This is a surprise, after all.”

Still, he looks frustrated that she’s so cold--not a good look. Her secretary instincts tell her to do something about that. Trying to smile meaningfully through her chattering teeth, she suggests, “You know, ordinary guys offer their jackets to their dates when it gets chilly.”

He blinks twice before he makes that eureka! face again. “I have an idea, Uraraka. Since you’re cold, you should wear my coat.”

“Oh--but you’ll get cold.”

“No, I’m always temperature regulated,” he says with a voice that doesn’t leave her much room to (pretend to) argue.

He drapes his coat around her easily. He’s much taller than her and has wider shoulders, so naturally she’s swallowed instantly in fine woollen bliss. She suppresses a sigh when she feels the toasty warmth, and suppresses a shudder when she feels his fingers brush around her shoulders and her neck.

“Is this okay?” he asks earnestly when he notices her shiver. His warm breath tickles her ear.

She nods through the overwhelming feel of his voice vibrating through her body. Oblivious to this, he nods in satisfaction and looks up at the stars. She stares at his profile against the moon, feeling light-headed and mesmerized at everything.

Oh, gods, this is a date . Reiko and Yui are going to kill her in her sleep.

When he notices her staring, he gives her an odd, puzzled look. “Secretary Uraraka. Since you like the stars so much, you should take advantage of this. I suggest keeping your eyes off me and keeping them to the sky.”

A vein pops on her forehead. Okay, so the Director is still the same clueless demon with no sense of romance. No surprise. This isn’t a date, after all.

She follows his orders and looks up at the sky, lined by a myriad of shooting stars.

*

After the star-gazing session, they both decide that it’s late and he brings her home. He drives the car, and thankfully this time the drive goes by smoothly. He parks at the narrow street in front of her home and follows her out of the car, looking strangely self-assured.

“Director, thanks for the great evening,” she says. “I’m honestly speechless. For a surprise, that was…”

A small smile is on his lips when he asks, “Ideal?”

“Yes, exactly, ideal.” Wait. Ideal. Where has she heard that before?

“Hm. I thought you’d say that,” he says smugly. “I doubt that anybody else will give you as much mochi as you had tonight.”

Describe your ideal partner.

A tall, handsome guy with a stable job who will feed me mochi until I explode!

“And I don’t think anyone else will bring you to an amusement park and a picnic under the stars in the span of a single evening.”

Describe an ideal excursion with your ideal partner.

A date in MightyLand, where we can ride all the rides I like as much as I want!

A simple picnic with tasty food where we can go stargazing afterward is pretty neat too!

This guy is a sneaky, sneaky bastard. Ochako crosses her arms in front of her as Director Todoroki ambles confidently to the trunk of his car. “Finally, I doubt that any other ordinary man will give you…”

Describe an ideal product that you would like to receive from your ideal partner.

A giant stuffed toy that I can hug in my sleep!

(I don’t care what it looks like as long as it’s soft and cute!)

“Director,” she cuts him off with a controlled smile. “There’s… a giant stuffed toy in the back of the trunk, isn’t there?”

Todoroki freezes just as he pulls out the offending item--a giant stuffed cat.

“... how did you predict this,” he says stiffly as he presents the gift to her.

She laughs. “Chief Midoriya almost had a heart attack giving me that survey, you know. You should make it up to him.”

“... maybe,” he says, although the sudden dark look in his eyes tells her otherwise. She should apologize to the freckled Chief when things happen. “In any case, this is for you, if you’ll have it. It’s your very own Victoria. You should be grateful to have such a beautiful object.”

The cat is white and about half as big as her, with a squinty smile and a little bell on its collar. She won’t admit it, but she loves it immediately. She takes it from the Director. “Thank you, Director. I am filled with such gratitude.”

“Formal language, again?”

“I’m just teasing.”

He huffs. “You seem to be getting used to that, Secretary Uraraka. I don’t approve.”

She snickers. “Yeah? Well, approve this! ”

She playfully smacks the cat’s face right into his. She doesn’t know why she suddenly had the balls to do something like that, but the small surprised mmph he produces makes it all worth the risk. When he pushes the cat off of him to glare at her, she’s in another fit of giggles.

“I thought you had a good time. Is this how you say goodnight?” he asks in mild annoyance.

“I did! And, yes,” she says with a confident smile.

“Strange. That’s not what I know of ordinary people saying goodnight on ideal dates.”

Without warning, he steps closer to her, and closer, and closer. She should be backing up to keep a safe distance, far enough that he doesn’t hear her blood rushing or her heart beating or her mind racing into oblivion. She should, but she doesn’t--all she does is hold her breath.

Even when he meets her eyes.

Even when he leans in closer.

Even when her eyes are suddenly squeezing tight in anticipation of something she shouldn’t.

Whatever it is she was waiting for doesn’t come, however. Because what she feels in that cold, dark, anxious and excited void is something cold pressing into the very tip of her nose.

When she comes to, she’s staring cross-eyed right at his index finger.

Todoroki Shouto is poking her on the nose.

He gives a little satisfied smile and steps back. “That’s how they do it, right?”

She stammers, face impossibly red. “No? That’s not a thing anyone does in any planet! Where did you even learn that?!”

He chuckles lightly, the sound of it another shock to her senses. “I guess being ordinary is more challenging than I thought. Goodnight, Secretary Uraraka.”

Why is he so weird? Why is she feeling so bamboozled? Before she can make any sensible words out of her mouth, the Director is already behind the wheel and smugly driving off into the night.

God, all she can do is to run into her apartment, dive on the bed and hide her face over Her Very Own Victoria’s face to hide her blush. But then she remembers what she made this doll do (read: smack the Director in the face), and then she remembers that smooshing her face against it is exactly the wrong thing to do.

Great. How is she supposed to sleep now? Stupid Director!

[pallasperilous]

Towel Down

For the #PB100 drabble challenge. This week’s prompt: towel.

Maybe next time I’ll even try not to overshoot the wordcount by a factor of ten! (...sure, Jan)

Rating: Gen Wordcount: 1,062 Domestic fluff, Castiel/Dean (in theory) On AO3.

The goddamn dish towel is what finally does it. 

Cas has been driving him crazy all week, ricocheting around the bunker like a fucking pinball in search of an outlane. And now Cas is in the kitchen, and he is drying the dishes with the wrong fucking towel.

So Dean dings him on the back of his head and snaps – “Hey, Typhoid Mary. We use that one to wipe down the counters.” 

Cas looks at him in silent bafflement.

Dean yanks the damp towel from his hands. “How many did you dry with this thing?”

Cas’s gaze flicks over to the towering stack of dishes on the far side of the sink and, yep, Dean’s definitely gonna have to rewash them all. 

“I don’t understand,” Cas says, in that tone that he probably thinks is apologetic but in actuality comes off as so nakedly petulant that Dean could strangle him right here and now and no jury would convict.

“Clean towel, for things we touch with our mouths,” Dean says, gesturing broadly the drying towel which is right under the dish cabinet. “Dirty, dirty towel, for things we rub raw chicken all over,” he says, holding up the towel, and then lets it drop to the floor. It hits Cas’s shoe, but he doesn’t look down.

“Dean, the human body hosts as many bacterial cells as it does its own. I can assure you that the health implications in this case are negligible.”

Dean snorts. “Yah. Says the guy who doesn’t need to eat.”

Cas stiffens. “No, I don’t,” he replies, and now it’s pure piss and vinegar. He shoves his sleeves back down. “Nor do I have any reason to contribute to this particular domestic activity –”

“Dude –”

“– or, for that matter, even to occupy this room. I apologize for the disruption. I’ll remove myself before I cause irrevocable harm.” Then he bombs out of the kitchen like he’s running late for a murder on the other side of town. 

A moment later, Sam’s head and shoulders dip into the doorway, his face set to what the fuck was that about?.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Just bein’ a goddamn diva,” he sighs.

Sam ticks over to a facetious frown. “You, or him?”

Dean flips him the bird and starts in on the dishes. 

Thirty minutes and two solid feet of dishes later, Dean is inevitably feeling a little internal blowback from snapping at the guy. Dean is still, let us not pretend, completely and absolutely correct about Towel Procedure because exactly one person in this bunker has successfully faked possession of a food-handling license in six different states without yet sending anybody (…human) to the hospital, and it is very much him – but, Jesus. They’re all on top of each others’ chicken-fried nerves right now, waiting for a case to break, for the snow to melt, for an absent God to relieve the suffering of his orphaned Creation, for Doctor Sexy MD to come off mid-season hiatus.

He finishes the last of the dishes – and maybe he should really just find them a drying rack, because air-drying really is the most sanitary solution even if counter space is kind of at a premium down here – and heads to the garage to scour some road salt out of the Impala’s intimate zones. His apologies are typically less half-assed if he workshops them under two tons of metal. 

He gets there just in time to find Cas climbing out of the hot, ticking, slush-crusted Continental. Cas is looking about the same, and his expression doesn’t change when he finally spots Dean, standing frozen in the doorway. He shuts the car door behind him with a frankly adorable degree of care given how pissed he looks  – the dude will smash a demon’s head into cement like a rotten pumpkin but apparently the Continental is one of God’s children. Then he stalks straight up to Dean and thrusts a plastic bag at him like he’s serving a subpoena.

“Uh,” Dean says.

Cas actually grabs Dean’s hand from where it’s hanging by his side and shoves the bag into it. “They’re anti-microbial,” Cas says, with the same gravelly cadence he normally deploys for Powerful Incantations.

Dean cautiously peels back the plastic, finds another couple layers of cellophane  inside encasing two sets of: motherfucking dish towels. One set white, one set blue. There are possibly some screenprinted ducks. 

“White for dishes. Blue for countertops. I find the claim scientifically dubious at best,” Cas grumbles, before rushing out: “but I recognize that sanitation standards are not…at the heart of the disagreement.”

“Okay, but seriously, Cas, you don’t fuck around with salmonella,” Dean says, which is just the dumbest shit he could possibly say, but at least it comes out kind of sorry-sounding.

Cas continues, undeterred in his apparently sworn mission to unload a formal diplomatic apology. “I recognize that you are able to exert control over a very select few areas of your general environment – ” 

“Yeah, I could also probably stand not to be such a dick about it.”

That stumps him. Dean clears his throat. “Sorry, didn’t mean to mess up your speech, or whatever.” 

“I’m apologizing,” Cas monotones.

“I got it. Accepted. Right back at you. We’re good.”

Castiel looks almost disappointed. “Are we?”

Dean rubs his free hand along the back of his neck – there’s a mean-ass little knot forming up in there from glaring down at all those dishes. “Look, Cas…it’s been a fuckin’ week, okay? But you…don’t need to…do stuff like this.” He waves the dishtowels half-heartedly, plastic crinkling as they flop back and forth over his knuckles. “I want you hanging out in the damn kitchen, messing things up.”

“I’d prefer to contribute positively, Dean.”

“You do, okay? Look, man, we’re family. Means when you screw up you don’t have to…say it with flowers,” He thwaps the bag against Cas’s collarbone, “or whatever.”

Cas sighs, lets his shoulders down, closes his eyes. Stays still for a long, fragile moment, which shaves a few hours off the back end of Dean’s life. Then he opens his eyes again, nails Dean with the high-beams. Guides Dean’s hand back against Dean’s own chest.

“It’s a gift,” Cas says. 

Then he smiles a little, lets his hand trail away as he steps past Dean and back into the bunker.  “You keep those.”

[smallgayblanket]

Fresh Muse List

In case you guys were curious about my characters I have a big old list:

Egos:

Anti   (Usually the softer kind, has green emerald glowings eyes which turn staticy blue when hes vulnerable/being open/himself. He can be an asshole though and does in deed take out bad guys with his knife.)

Jameson Jackson  (Mute but does actually still have a voice- his vocals are in ruins and he's kinda dealing with poor eating making him dangerously skinny. He works as a bartender and has silver tipped brown hair that's a little bit longer than the others.)

Crank  (Robot Ethan ego. He’s an utter mess- eyes sometimes fizzle out, joints stiff, has emotional issues. He also has a corrupted voice in his head that is real nasty when he pops up and sometimes takes over their shared frame.)

Blank  (Fricking soft boy, his aura is hard to control and sometimes controls him. He has a rare heart issues which makes him prone to fainting and collpasing without much warning.  Still, he tries.) 

Jackieboyman   (Super hero boy! Super buff, caring, kind, and tol.  Lilac/Gold eyes. Little odd strip of red in his brown hair. The best voice.  Works as a gas station worker to hide his identity (he looks great in the blue button up and glasses.) He.’s ftm trans. Sometimes I HC him as a phionex other times he has pretty golden whips of light.)

King of the Squirrels   (Otherwise known as Simon. He’s a hybrid, Tail, ears. Omega. Very sweet, little skittsh and frzzled. Wears glasses and cozy sweaters- likes making nests and being out in nature. Loves PB but is actually allergic..doesn’t keep him from eating it though.)

Henrick Von Schneeplestien  (Grumpy german doctor who lives off of coffee. He is willing to assist those in need and really needs to sleep.)

Chase Brody  (He’s got his youtube channel and a bunch of positive vibes! He’s strugglign sometimes with depression but its not always so bad. Sometimes he had real bad migrains though, and he also suffers from chornic fatigue making his days shorter or hard to get teverything done.)

Wilford Warfstache  (We know him, lover of bubbles and pink. Talks funny, loves candy. Chubby man.) 

Yandere  (Nonbinary somewaht MTF.  They’re a real cutie, will punch dickheads without a sweat and really just want someone to be their senpai and let them fall for them head over heels without running away..) 

Were-Eth  (Ethan got bit by a werewolf and now deals with that. Basically an Ethan muse with a small twist. He’s absoultely adorable with the tail and ears and sharp teef.)

Mark  (Abused and kidnapped by Author My Mark is a little bit softer then the guy he’s based on. He’s a little bit shorter and alot more anxious and unsure of himself thanks to Author breaking him down. He’s vcovered in lots of scars spescfially his wrist’s and does not like water much. )

Bing.  (Tries his hardest to be good, bit glitchy but he’s chill. He tries to skate, and jokes wen nervous. He’s pretty sweet though.) 

Edward Iplier  (Absoulte adorable dork, He tries to help everyone and anyone no matter what- I’ve kinda fallen in love with the idea of him only having one arm but that’s only one of many ideas. He loves space, he’s chubby and also loves food. He’s got a prety neat aura ablity too.) 

Robbie.  (Soft grape zombie boy. He’s sweet and innocent as ever. He’s easily th e shyest of the bunch and doesn’t always talk to much. He loves getting affection though and is always eager to please.) 

And meet my OCS! Some of them are old- and alot of them are new! There's a little description for each just to get your interest~

Quinton  (A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian.)

Ori ( Very pure angel boy AU of the angel half of Q - a little androgynous when it comes to clothing he/him sometimes they/them.)

Zeno  (A DJ with a somewhat secret love for dancing too. Only has one arm.)

Lumi (Ghost boy- literally- he died and he’s kinda like Danny phantom in reverse- he can turn solid but eventually has to rest and turn back to being unable to interact with objects)

Eztli   (Pretty grump guy who was cursed by a witch to be immortal- although it made his blood kinda..weird..)

Gallio (Strawberry Hipster guy- A photographer who also has hypoglycemia)

Aomi (A blackberry witch- hes not very great at spells yet but he tries!)

Lucas (A moonstone gem perma-fusion. Quite a nervous wreck.)

Eme. (A smart scientist. Human. Nothing special.)

Chris. (Camp leader! He’s based off David from camp camp but hes far more buff and hes not so over the top. He has his own green house and is part dryad.)

Alex  (A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia)

Locus  (Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music)

Lir(A Tiny Octopus/Human boy!!)

Reese (Passionfruit bab! Literally. He kinda contains passionfruit pulp but don’t cut him open!!! :< Or do if you want weird angst >_>)

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god. One eye. Uses notes to communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

Small bois- These boys are pocket sized! though sometimes I do like to think about them being human sized ^^.

Kiyan. (A little assistant android. Created to assist! He works at a post office currently. Pronouns do not matter to him though its usually he/they/it.)

Tobias. (Made of hair gel. Eats soap. Someone stop him before he gets a tummy ache. He/him.)

Hinto  (Guy made of foam slime- He was kinda based off Remy aka Sleep from the fanders.)

Glowstick bubs (They are tiny boys who glow like well- glowsticks but also lavalamps, very pretty to look at. and theyre nocturnal!)

Theo(A tiny ink creature. He makes a mess but hes adorable.)

JellyBubs! (A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, The main one being strawberry aka Jeri. They dont mind what you calm them but usually they works best.)

Miel (A tiny little bee boy! He makes honey.)

Moyachi  (Cactus boi!! Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people)

Apocolyse Squad:

Long story shot: The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race. I have loads of stuff to talk about for this gang of 6:

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat! Can talk to animals. Nonbinary/genderfluid.)

Hamrish Benat  (Also goes by Hami/Hayden. He/him. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. Super soft boy. Loves soap cutting videos (and doing it himself) and bears/plushies - Has an arrange of cute face masks. Is a trained nurse and learning to be a pediatrician.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole lets leave it at that.)

Andy Peters (Strong, kind. Kind of like Tyler Scheid, He/him.

Adrian  Géarán  ( Real anxious. Gets bullied alot. bit of a weakling/cry baby to some. Has a pretty shit immune system struggles with food and sleep.. He has a Demon esc-Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. He loves iron man. He/him.)  

Liren Pichi (Deaf peaches n cream boi- Nickname Pichi.  He wasn’t part of the squad- however he did end up landing on their planet- he had some rough encounters with the aliens ^^)

Neighbours AU:

These guys all live in the same little  cul de sac

Lynx is from planet Ananke.

They all live on the new homeworld, Ermioni. (Its basically earth just a few more creatures live there and the government is less of a mess.)

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  (She/ her.  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls..)

Lynx ?? (She/her/they/xe/ xir  An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral)   Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws? Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of point ass teef.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth ( A six-armed demon. Grows flowers on his skin based on emotions. He’s a huge mother hen, will care for anyone. Enjoys cooking and gardening and children.  He/Him)

Rhys  (They/Them. A Demon with a great curiosity about humans) Feri  (The sibling of Ryhs)

Anthos (Rhys and Hy’s summoned accidental toddler.. He has a cute tail and tinnny horns.  He/him)

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  (He/Him A regular chubby human bean! Loves baking and music.)

Donovan Amores  (He/Him/ Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart- is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish (moved when young.))

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation  (Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.  Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (They/He/Him Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (He/Him.  Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (She/her/they/them.  Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Has a cute little jar necklace  ^ a proper sized magic jar.  Doesn’t mind whatever pronouns but usually prefers he/him/boy.)

Luca (FTM Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books…Possibly a special pen..)

Forest bois:

Cypress (The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Doesn't mind what you call him but usually leans masculine.)

Unicorn boi (Yet to be fleshed out. Hes got very rare blood- lost his horn and lives with a giant inside of a bubble?  He/him/it)

Fyn. (Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin in a fire caused by humans.. He/him)

Fie. (Bat boy. Love fruit. Is ironically scared of the dark- shy but cute. He/Him)

Moh. (Fairy/incubus hybrid.  They/them)

Tucker. (Bunny hybrid- cool guy with bunny ears and a tail. Soft white patches on his chest. Got a bit of an attitude but is chill- is also friends with Ainsley. He/him but is usually mistaken for a girl because he by bunny standards is..)

Ainsley. (Fawn boy. Wears glasses. Much like a deer, skittish and nerdy and keeps to himself. Tries to keep Tucker out of trouble but usually ends up dragged along instead)

Experiments:

Izekiel  Iris (A being of Paint!  Stutter, anxious, hallucinates. Zones out alot. An amazing artist though. He/him though has feminine tendencies.)

Matty   (An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol and cute. Hes very quiet, selectively mute on occasion. Lots of scars and trauma, scars on his arms and constantly needs to wear bandages. Very easily tired. he/him.)

Nes. (Based of off Crankgameplays as face claim but he’s basically his own thing at this point. He’s been through alot of angst and trauma and some really nasty stuff ^^’ (He killed his parents, the ice cream truck driver tried to abduct him, he was experimented on in a very bad place, and now he's an utter wreck who will cling to anyone who gives him the time of day. He has murder tenancies but is full of guilt and hates whenever he hurts anyone. Lots of panics. Very hard to handle if you aren’t patient.)

[shinyblackbird]

It's time for a Lewis health update, but first, my deepest and most heartfelt gratitude to everyone who donated. You were all absolutely amazing, I've made it to about 70% of my goal, with half of that coming from total strangers (and/or internet friends choosing to remain anonymous). Thank you all so much, you shifted me from a place of fear and insecurity to being able to make careful choices for Lewis's future.

Next, the pet pic tithe! I'm afraid I don't have any action shots from this week, but I do have snuggles:

[ID: Lewis perched on my shoulder, head resting by his feet while my hand pets his head. He is calm and happy]

The results are in from both the heavy metal testing, and the bacterial and fungal infection tests, with negative results all around. This is obviously good news on the one hand, we don't want him to be suffering from lead poisoning or a deadly infection, but it also means his ongoing symptoms remain a mystery. We still haven't heard back on the ABV test (it's been two weeks, but there's only one lab in the country that does these), and that does still seem to be a likely cause.

I'm going to put further details behind a cut. They're honestly quite discouraging, so please only read ahead if you're ready to handle that right now. What I really want everyone to know is I'm so grateful for all of your help, and I'm going to continue taking the very best care of Lewis that I possibly can. Thank you all for everything.

His neurological symptoms have increased alarmingly this past week. For just a few days his new bottles let him drink freely, and he improved quite a bit in that time, but now he has trouble swallowing liquids in any position. Quite confusingly he can still manage solids most of the time, and does better after a dose of his anti-nausea medication, so I've been getting him as much water as possible through his food. About 80-90% of his diet is pellets that have been soaked overnight and made into a sort of porridge. Luckily he eats this up with gusto most days, and on good days he's been happy to also eat apples, pears, and bell pepper. He's been refusing most other food, even sunflower seeds, which is deeply alarming. He's kept his weight up so far, but it seems like it's only a matter of time until that changes.

More on the neurological front: he's lost a lot of coordination in his feet, and his grip strength comes and goes throughout the day. He manages to climb pretty well and can perch if he's got something to stabilize his tail (he chooses corners most of the time), but he has trouble getting around flat-footed, tripping over 1cm high obstacles and putting his beak down for balance. He's always preferred flat-foot time for play, so this is particularly heartbreaking to watch.

Yesterday I found blood in his stool, so we've added a new medication to help close lesions in the gut. He doesn't hate this one quite as much as the liver med, but his med schedule is really getting to be quite a production. Confusingly, the discoloration of his urates has totally cleared up. It's possible that was caused by a small lesion leaking plasma that's since progressed to a full-blown bleed, but that's pure speculation.

I've also seen some pretty distinct changes in cognition and behavior. Some of these are no doubt from abrupt withdrawal from his anti-anxiety medication. (He's been taking that one for a couple years, it's a low dose generally regarded as quite safe, but can sometimes put stress on the liver. I made a schedule with his vet to transition him off of it when we saw signs of liver disease in his first round of blood work, and that went well for the first few weeks, but got interrupted when he stopped drinking (it's dissolved in his drinking water), meaning he jumped from 75% of his original dose to none in about 48 hours.) He's had bouts of dissociation, is high-strung and twitchy, and has increased feather plucking - basically the same issues that led to him starting that med, but his current state is so much worse than I've ever seen him. He sleeps so much, hours and hours spent napping, and so far these are all consistent with a very sick bird. But.

But.

He's also very eagerly nesting and trying to court me. Any time he gets near a towel or a bit of paper, his whole focus is on trying to arrange it into a suitable nest, and he'll stay with it until he's exhausted and panting. Sometimes he's happy to get head scratches or just nap on my shoulder, but just as often he's trying to regurgitate for me or mount my hand. He's masturbating on everything, perches and food bowls and the bars of his cage, things I can't take away to discourage him. All I can do is try to keep everything very very clean to prevent further infection. Redirecting him doesn't work at all, this is the only thing he has interest or energy for, and it's so confusing. Sick birds don't behave this way! He's hungry and thirsty and exhausted, but still a horny little menace, and I don't know what to make of it.

All of these issues vary day to day, with bad days breaking my heart and good ones strengthening my resolve to keep doing all I can to give him more of the same. His vet has been referring to a lot of what I'm doing as "nursing care" and talking about end of life decisions. She still thinks he should have a CAT scan, but that would be at minimum $1700 and I don't know how I could possibly afford it. And if it does reveal a brain tumor, or cancer somewhere in his GI tract, what then? There's no treatment, only further palliative care.

I'm sorry to end on such a negative note. I'm grateful for everyone's help and support, and I've tried to stay as positive as possible, but things look really bad. It seems very unlikely that he'll recover, so the best I can do is try to help him enjoy the time he has left. I love this little guy so much, he's been the very heart of my life for 7 years and I really thought we'd have 20 more.

Help rebuild Lewis's vet fund!

If you know Lewis, you already love this magnificent little guy! He’s a charismatic bird who wins hearts without even trying. If you don't, here's what you need to know: He's 50 pounds of attitude in a half pound sack, he loves peanuts and singing, and he is loud.

Unfortunately, Lewis is also very sick, and so far we don’t know why. He’s had three vet visits in the past two weeks and the cause is unclear so far. These visits have been very expensive, and there will definitely be more in the future. I’m asking for help to rebuild his vet fund, which was completely wiped out in the first two visits.

I’m hoping to raise $1000 for further testing, medication, and health-related supplies. That's a tall order, but proper care for birds is expensive. Every little bit is appreciated, and spreading the word and well wishes are very much included!

Click the read more for the (literal) receipts, further information about his health, and of course some bonus Lewis pictures!

The news so far isn't good, so please enjoy Lewis enjoying a pepper, as fortification before you read on.

[ID: Lewis the macaw with his beak covered in shreds of red pepper and a few seeds]

He first started showing signs of illness in September, changes in his droppings that were abnormal but not critical, so I scheduled a visit with his vet. The day before his appointment his health suddenly crashed - he was lethargic, puffed up and slow, with no interest in food or water. After a quick call to his regular vet we headed to the nearest emergency vet that would see him. They gave him fluids and ran some blood work, and recommended x-rays but weren't able to do them that day.

[ID: An itemized bill from an emergency vet clinic, totaling $501.64]

No attempt was made at any kind of a diagnosis, but the fluids seemed to help and he was a bit more active when we got home, but still clearly unwell.

The next day we saw his regular vet who took x-rays and did a more thorough exam. Those showed mild liver disease, possible GI disease, and neurological problems - his grip strength is asymmetrical and greatly reduced. In her words, there are "a lot of abnormalities but no smoking gun." He was given a course of antibiotics and a medication to support proper liver function, and we waited for the lab to return a more detailed set of blood tests.

[ID: Lewis sedated for his x-rays, laying nestled between two folded towels. His face is pressed against a towel which is covering a hot water bottle.]

[An itemized vet bill totaling $699.27]

He seemed much improved when we returned home even before starting his new meds, which was a bit of a mystery but very welcome. He clearly hates his medicine but has nonetheless been taking with it with only minor complaints - and of course copious encouragement and treats.

Unfortunately his blood work didn't answer any of our questions. In a nutshell, he seems to be doing far better than would be expected from his tests alone. There are several issues, minor and more serious, that point toward the same cluster of problems: liver, GI, neurological health. The vet told me her two top theories: a brain tumor, or avian borna virus. These are both terrifying, as there's no cure for either, and they're both wildly expensive to even try to diagnose. We talked through the options and she recommended ruling out other potential causes that could present similarly.

So on Monday we headed back to the vet for poor Lewis's third blood draw in ten days. He was remarkably brave about the whole thing, and only caused some minor hearing damage for everyone present.

[ID: An itemized vet bill totaling $615.20]

We're still waiting on the results of these tests, but things don't seem very encouraging right now. Lewis has good days where he seems mostly like his normal self, but even then his coordination seems off and he doesn't grip his perches so much as wobble and lean until he reaches a stable point. He's had two episodes of vomiting, he gets cold far too easily, and most worryingly he can't drink with his head lowered.

In addition to all those vet bills ($1800 so far), I've needed to buy bird-safe space heaters and a set of water bottles that should let him drink with his head raised. His vet has encouraged me to prepare for his condition to worsen, and recommends thinking about accommodations for further loss of mobility, which is doable but will add on to the running total. I've always kept an emergency vet fund of $1000 in case of sudden illness, but I've spent twice that in the past two weeks. Things are dire, financially speaking, and I hate limiting his care based on what I can afford, but that's the point we've reached.

Thank you for reading through all this, for being invested in this sweet, cantankerous little guy. If you can help out with a donation or by sharing this post I appreciate that more than I can begin to say. I know times are hard all around, the past few years have worn us all down, so please don't feel any pressure to give beyond your means. Lewis and I are both just as happy to get well-wishes and kind words.

[ID: A close up of Lewis snuggled up against my face, stretching his head forward to inspect the camera]

[clefaiiiry]

i’ve been listening to self-inflicted achromatic on repeat for like an hour now time to post a fic

Companion to this.

Title: Distortion

Fandom: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions

Word Count: 2,031

Characters: Akagi | Cyrus, Shirona | Cynthia, Hikari | Dawn, Saturn (Pokemon), Dr. Nanakamado | Professor Rowan 

Additional Tags: Friendship, recovery process, Japanese Names as Surnames, Suicidal Thoughts, Selectively Mute Dawn, (Not referenced in this particular fic but it's there), Implied Gingashipping, I guess????????????????????, not really???????????, onesided at the very most???????

AO3 Version

Distant shrieks of Seagull and the repetitive lull of the sea was all that permeated the silence. Late evening in Sunnyshore was always heavy, even in winter when the air grew drier and the sky was rarely seen in all its glory. Stargazing was impossible unless you went out to Route 222.

It wasn’t like he could leave the city this late at night. He shouldn’t have even been outside. If father found out...

He tried not to think about it.

Cyrus just focused on the sound of the waves, watching for any signs of Pokémon beneath the surface. The docks were old, no one would think twice if some kid fell in while playing around where he shouldn’t be.

He’d debated it a few times. It wouldn’t be too hard; the currents were brutal, and he wasn’t a strong swimmer. But he stayed put, going no further than dipping his toe in.

Sometimes he wished he had jumped.

The first week in the hospital was a blur. Any time he was awake, everything was so harsh and unbearable that the staff would increase his dosage until he went out again.

On rare occasion, Cynthia would be there when he woke up. She helped him breath, to steady himself in consciousness. It would never last long. Something would set him off again and she would have no choice but to call in the doctors.

He was never aware of what he was saying in those times. He rambled and babbled in a manner unbefitting of a man who convinced hundred to follow his every order. Disgust and humiliation pooled in his gut when Cynthia looked over him with pity.

He wasn’t sure when things started becoming more solid, but it must’ve had something to do with Cynthia increasing her visits. It was the only explanation he could provide.

One day, he finally woke up without the hefty nausea and migraine that had become commonplace over his time in the too white room. The scent of stale air and disinfectant was displeasing, but not overwhelming.

The bed complained as he pushed himself up, too fast, made his head swim for a few long seconds. Cynthia almost fell out of her seat, her Holo Caster barely being saved from the unsympathetic, hard floor.

“Cyrus, are you with me?” she asked, her voice oddly soft for a woman of her status.

All he could do was nod as she helped him adjust the bed so he could sit up properly. Cynthia’s expression was indiscernible.

“How much do you remember from the last few days?”

He shook his head. Cynthia sighed.

“You’re in Veilstone. Barry found you and Dawn in Turnback Cave.”

At the mention of the girl’s name, his eyes went wild and muscles tensed. “Where is-”

Soothing hands rested on his. “She’s fine. Dawn has a different room and Barry’s been taking care of her. I promise you she’s fine.”

Cyrus felt the pressure melt from his form. “That... that is good.”

“Not like you to be so worried about someone.” Cynthia’s tone was ice, her gaze hard.

He couldn’t meet her eyes. Why did the air feel so close all of a sudden? His breathing was getting uneven and his chest ached.

Cynthia was still talking but he’d stopped processing her words. It was only when she stopped that he realised he was shaking. How did that happen?

A shape descended on him and for a moment he was back in the other world. He tried to push back but it caught him and pulled him in. He thrashed, about to cry out when Cynthia’s voice brought him back down.

“It’s okay,” She said as she wrapped him in a hug, “You’re gonna be okay, Cyrus.”

When did he start crying?

Without Cynthia, his time in the pure white room would’ve destroyed him, that much he was certain of.

In the few hours a week she managed to steal between her Champion duties, she managed to keep him updated on the outside world and, more importantly, Dawn’s condition.

“Will they seriously not tell you anything?” She asked.

He shook his head, trying to adjust himself to allow Weavile to curl up on his lap. It hadn’t taken much for the hospital staff to allow him to keep his Pokémon, anything to stop him shooting awake in hysterical panic at two am was welcomed.

“Assholes...” Cynthia muttered, folding her arms across her chest.

Weavile chirped, nuzzling further into his trainer’s lap. Cynthia chuckled.

“Whenever I tried to feed them,” she started, reaching out to pet the Pokémon’s head, “they would get all pouty and stubborn until I told them you were okay.”

Cyrus blinked. “Really?”

That took her by surprise, needing a second to recover. “Of course! Pokémon always care, even if they’re trainer...”

She trailed off, but he could guess what she was going to say. Cyrus gave Weavile a small scratch behind it’s crown.

“I do not... understand...”

Cynthia sighed. “Well, you never beat them up or anything. I think they were just worried about you...”

Cyrus looked down to the snoozing Pokémon and felt his chest ache. Not in the suffocating way he was used to but... soft and warm.

He never wanted it to go.

The worst part of the hospital was the boredom. Unless Cynthia brought something in, there was little he could do to pass the time.

He’d stopped keeping track of days. Didn’t see the point. If anything of note happened, it would make its way to him eventually.

Any attempts made by the resident psychiatrists to get him to open up rarely ended well. They would try their best to tread around the most sensitive areas, but something would always manage to set him off.

He was thoroughly convinced they had given up on him.

The window was easy enough to open, a simple latch, then it slid upwards. It was a three-storey fall, but it didn’t bother him as much as it should’ve.

“If you wanted fresh air that bad, I might be able to convince them to let us in the courtyard.”

The soft voice behind him wasn’t Cynthia.

Weavile hopped off the bed, claws clicking across the floor as it ran over to greet the visitor.

Dawn crouched to offer pets. “Hey, wanna see what I got?” she asked the Pokémon. He chirped, pawing at her sleeve as she reached into the paper bag and took out a poffin. Weavile excitedly scoffed it down before she could say anything.

She laughed, straightening up as she crossed the room. “Want one? Lucas made them.”

Cyrus shook his head. She shrugged.

“More for me and Weavile,” she said as she offered another to the weasel Pokémon.

“Are you even allowed to be here?” Cyrus asked slowly. Dawn grinned.

“Shush, I snuck out. Couldn’t stand being in that room any longer so I asked Cynthia which room was your’s.”

Silence hung between them for a few moments before she started playing with her hair.

“Okay, I lied, Cynthia said you were feeling more down than usual so I wanted to keep you company for a while.”

Cyrus realised how hard he’d been gripping the windowsill and flinched slightly as he loosened his hands. Dawn frowned, but said nothing.

“What were you thinking?” She asked quietly, testing the waters. There was no point in trying to lie to her, she could always tell.

“Would this height be enough to end your life?”

Dawn was not nearly as disturbed than he expected her to be.

“I don’t think so, but you’d really hurt your legs. Not worth it unless you’re really desperate to stay here any longer.”

“I would prefer not to.”

She gave a gentle laugh. “I can’t wait to eat real food again,” she said as she crouched to shower Weavile with affection, “Remind me to show you this café in Eterna when we get out, I think you’ll like it.”

There was that warm ache in his chest again. He found himself smiling for the first time in years.

In retrospect, he supposed he should have made more of an effort to resume contact with Team Galactic... Or what was left of it. Cynthia and Rowan had told him that the organisation almost fell apart before the old commanders turned it into an energy company.

He wasn’t surprised to hear Saturn was leading the new Galactic. The young man had a knack for the humanitarian side of business. What he was surprised about, however, was how fast he’d been able to flip the image of Team Galactic into something the people of Sinnoh would be willing to trust.

“Devon helped them a lot, gave them a chance and they proved themselves to be valuable business partners,” Rowan had explained when Cyrus had brought it up, “there were rumours that the Hoenn Champion had arranged for it, but that has yet to be proved.”

Outside of the occasional worker passing on the street, he was unable to experience anything from the new Galactic first hand. Apparently Saturn had sent Dawn some flowers. She mentioned that they looked expensive but said nothing more on the topic.

Some part of him felt betrayed, but he quickly quelled the foolish notion. It wasn’t like they owed him anything.

Which was why he was even more confused with Saturn showed up unannounced. He hovered in the doorway and likely wouldn’t have ever entered if Cynthia hadn’t been there to shove him in.

After initially sweeping the room for an escape route, Saturn finally sighed and settled into a seat.

“There’s... no way to make this not awkward.”

Cyrus just hummed.

“You’re not making this any easier.”

“It was not my intention.”

Saturn scowled, letting out a huff. He started bouncing his knee.

After an eternity, he finally asked, “Can I punch you in the face?”

The sheer absurdity of the question caught him off guard. “I... Excuse me?”

Saturn cleared his throat and sat up straight. “Never mind, that was completely out of order-”

“If it makes you feel better.”

“What?”

“You can punch me in the face.”

For a long moment, Cyrus was certain that he had broken him. Saturn finally seemed to process the words and nodded slowly.

“Okay, right...”

Saturn flexed his fingers for a moment before curling one hand into a fist. Cyrus didn’t even see him wind back. Pain exploded in his jaw, instinctively reaching up to check for any serious damage.

“Good swing...” he muttered.

“Huh? Oh, thanks...” Saturn looked down at his hand and frowned. “I, urh... I’m sorry.”

Cyrus just shrugged. “It is the least I deserve.”

Words seemed to fail Saturn for the briefest of moments. “I mean... Yeah, honestly.” He let out a shaky laugh.

And they went quiet again. While the silence would’ve been simpler, Cyrus felt as though Saturn would faint if it lasted any longer.

“I... I am sorry,” he said, the words feeling alien on his tongue, “for everything. I am aware that a mere apology is not enough to excuse all that I have done, but it is all I can offer you for the time being.”

Saturn stared at him as if he’d grown three heads. Then he started laughing. Cyrus failed to find the humour.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just...” Saturn’s eyes started to grow puffy, his breathing hitching in his throat. “I never thought I’d...”

The words melted away as the young man fought back against his emotions.

Acting completely on instinct, Cyrus reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s... It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”

Saturn blinked once, twice, then burst into full, ugly sobbing.

“This-” he hiccupped, “this is so unprofessional.”

“As you said, there is no way to make this... ‘not awkward.’”

Saturn hugged him. No hesitation, no second thoughts, just went straight for it. It felt... strange. More because it was unfamiliar than uncomfortable. Cyrus hummed, stiffly moving his arms to pat his back.

“Is... Is this just something people do for no reason?”

A dry laugh came from Saturn, though he didn’t look up. “Pretty much.”

“I see... This will take some getting used to.”

[easyfoodnetwork]

From the Strategist: The 52 Canned Goods (From Cockles to Corn) Chefs Keep in Their Pantries

Photo-Illustration: Courtesy of the retailers.

Chefs recommend their favorite foods preserved in cans and jars, from the Strategist

Shelf-stable food items have, needless to say, never been more popular. The bean business, in particular, is booming — according to recent reports, Goya’s sales have increased some 400 percent. But for those whose legume repertoires are beginning to feel a tad stale, it might be worth considering other areas of the canned and tinned universe, many of which are also quickly gaining traction. Anchovies, long the topping “held” from a dish, are taking center stage on Instagram (in sandwiches, on heaps of linguine), and humble canned tuna has shifted from the back of the pantry to front and center. Not to mention the fact that there’s something specifically delightful about eating a perfectly salty, spicy, or sweet item (whether it’s a smoked oyster or a sour cherry) plucked straight from a completely contained package. To find out the tinned, jarred, and canned foods chefs and home cooks are stocking their pantries with, we asked everyone from Ernesto’s Ryan Bartlow, who suggested a tin of splurge-y white asparagus, to Nom Wah’s Julie Cole, who recommended stocking up on Campbell’s Cream of Celery — which she calls “the Ferrari of canned soups.”

Best tinned and jarred fish

Don Bocarte Anchovies

Four of the chefs and home cooks we talked to topped their list of tinned goods with Don Bocarte Anchovies. “The creme de la creme of anchovies are Don Bocarte salt cured anchovies packed in olive oil,” says Nialls Fallon, a partner at Hart’s, Cervo’s, and The Fly. “They taste like butter and melt in your mouth — I could drink the oil when I’m done it’s so damn good.” Fallon told us that the anchovies come from the Bay of Biscay and are “painstakingly gutted and fileted by hand, then packed in large barrels in concentric circles with salt added after each layer.” Then they’re aged for several months, and rinsed and packed by hand in Spanish olive oil. Danny Bowien of Mission Chinese is a fan, too, as is Julia Sherman, of Salad for President and Angie Mar, chef at the Beatrice Inn.

Agostino Recca Anchovies Fillets in Olive Oil

Michael Schall, co-owner of Bar Camillo and Locanda Vini e Olii says that his restaurant’s “No. 1 choice” for tinned food are these anchovies from Agostino Recca. “I am just addicted to them, as are a lot of our customers.” (This customer can attest to their addictive qualities.) Schall says the anchovies have a just-right amount of saltiness, and are “big enough to feel substantial if you are eating them by themselves.” But if eating straight anchovies sounds like a lot, Schall says they’re great for cooking, too: “Melt them in the pan with some olive oil and a clove of garlic, toss with freshly cooked spaghetti, and you have one of the best all-time afternoon pasta dishes.” Chef and farmer Phoebe Cole-Smith is a fan of the Agostino Recca anchovies, as well.

Cento Anchovy Flat Fillets in Olive Oil

For something a bit less expensive, Carolina Santos Neves, executive chef of American Bar, recommends this Cento tin, which she says, despite the low price are still high-quality enough to eat on their own.

Ortiz Sardines In Olive Oil

Bart van Olphen, sustainable fishing advocate, chef, and author of The Tinned Fish Cookbook, is a fan of Ortiz tinned goods, as well, and told us about these sardines. “I love sardines, but buying the right quality makes the difference between having a great experience or never wanting to eat them again,” he says. “Ortiz is famous for its quality. The cooking process is very particular. The sardines are gutted and then precooked before being trimmed to the size of the can. Cheaper brands only cook the sardines once.”

Cabo de Peñas Razor Shell Clams in Brine

If clams are more your thing, Sherman told us that these from Cabo de Penas — “I love all the tinned seafood by Cabo de Penas,” she says. “But these are especially good. They are super clean and briny — eat them straight from the can.”

Ramon Pena Cockles in Brine

My favorite splurge is a tin of cockles from Ramon Pena in Spain,” says Fallon. “They’re expensive, but worth it.” Fallon says the cockles, which are tiny clams, are the size of a dime and tear-shaped. The cockles are pricey because of how difficult they are to harvest: “They are hard and dangerous to source, by hand from the rocky coastline, then meticulously and perfectly cooked, removed from their shells, and placed in order in a round tin,” Fallon says. “Their milky white color is surrounded by clear briny salty water — it’s so elegant, and pure and really a treat.”

Cabo de Peñas Small Sardines

Nick Perkins, partner at Hart’s, Cervo’s, and The Fly, says that Cabo de Penas is also the go-to brand of tinned fish for his restaurants. “They’re just old school and really solid,” he says. “They also just do really solid sardines and mackerels, which are cost effective.” His favorite are the brand’s baby sardines.

“These are sustainably certified sardines, and beautifully hand-packed with high-quality olive oil,” says Fallon. “A real savory, firm and earthy style.” He told us he’ll go for the classic plain olive oil, or the ones packed with dried chillies.

Matiz Sardines in Olive Oil

This pack of sardines comes recommended by Alissa Wagner, co-owner of Dimes (who also told us about her favorite spices). “They��re a great option for both your health and the health of our planet,” she says. “Sustainable and packed with Omega 3’s, these little fish are a great upgrade for simple salads or enjoyed on some grilled bread with roasted cherry tomatoes and fresh herbs.”

Bela Sardines Lightly Smoked Organic Cayenne Pepper

Andy Xu, Executive Chef at The Odeon, told us that Bela is his preferred sardine brand: “They’re lightly smoked, so there’s an added depth of flavor,” he says.

American Albacore Tuna

Sometimes you just want good old-fashioned canned tuna. Van Olphen suggests trying this tin, which is from a brand founded by one of the families behind the American Albacore Fishing Association. “Their West Coast fishery was the first in the world to obtain a certification for seafood sustainability from the Marine Stewardship Council,” says Van Olphen.

Dongwon Tuna in Kimchi Sauce

“I’m honestly just eating a lot of canned tuna, like Jessica Simpson,” says Bowien of his quarantine meals. “In Korea, canned tuna is such a thing, and you can get it at 711, open it up, and just eat it — especially the kimchi-flavored ones.” Bowien says this tuna from Dongwon is one of his favorites. “I eat it a lot — it’s good quality canned tuna, not fancy — I literally open up the can and dump it on top of hot rice.”

Zallo White Tuna Belly in Olive Oil

Ryan Bartlow, chef-owner at Ernesto’s, says that when it comes to tuna, this, from Zallo, is an easy favorite. “It’s from Bizkaia, Spain, and is perfect eaten on its own, or doused with a little minced onions, salt, olive oil and espelette,” Bartlow says. “At Ernesto’s we serve them with our Gildas.” He also notes that the stately packaging makes it a great gift for the friend who can never have too much tuna (which, right now, is most every non-vegetarian friend).

Interpage International Cod Liver In Own Oil

Van Olphen told us he believes in the “head-to-tail philosophy” when it comes to fish: “Where we’re not just eating the fillet, but also the cheeks or liver, for example.” He describes these cod livers as “soft” and “elegant” and says they work with lots of different dishes. “One of my very favorite ways is to serve it with some reduced orange juice mixed with a bit of lime and sesame oil, sprinkled with pomegranate seeds and pink peppercorn on top,” he says.

Ever since I was little I’ve loved large smoked oysters or mussels,” says Carolina Santos Neves, executive chef of American Bar. “My pick these days are Reese and Patagonia Provisions for their sustainably sourced Mussels — I’ll eat them plain or on toasted buttered sourdough bread.”

Ekone Smoked Habanero Oysters

If you want smoked oysters with a bit more zing, Fallon says these Ekone oysters are one of his favorites. “You can have them as a snack with a beer,” he says. “They’re hot! And chewy, and smoky, and really good with mayo or cream cheese on a cracker.”

JOSE Gourmet Spiced Calamari in Ragout Sauce

“The baby squids are prepared by hand — they removed the tentacles and stuff them into the tube of the squid, then hand pack them with a rich tomato ragout sauce,” says Fallon of this spicy option. “Smoky and meaty in flavor and texture, really delicious.” He’s a fan of the baby octopus in olive oil, as well.

Best tinned and canned meats

Underwood Deviled Ham Spread

“I’ll admit that I haven’t had deviled ham spread for a very long time, but one of my favorite sandwiches as a child was this stuff on pepperidge farm white bread with a thin layer of butter,” says Cole-Smith. “I have a few tins of it in my emergency preparedness food kit, because it means I can quickly relive my childhood, using crackers as a vehicle.” Cole-Smith says that in a pinch, “and if you close your eyes,” the deviled ham spread is like “a ‘poor man’s jambon au beurre.’”

Hénaff French Pork Countryside Pate Pâté De Campagne

Perhaps you prefer pâté. Food writer Ashley Mason says that a can of this pork pâté will have you feeling like you’re enjoying “a lazy afternoon on the French countryside” in no time. “Just add a bottle of wine, a baguette, and some crunchy cornichons,” she says.

Best tinned and canned peppers and chiles

Formaggio Kitchen Piparras Peppers

“I discover a lot of my favorite cans and glass jar items from Formaggio,” says chef and food artist Laila Gohar. “They do a really great job at finding products from around the world that are really delicious.” One of her favorite jarred goods from Formaggio are these peppers. “They’re spicy and briny and add a nice bite to a lot of dishes,” she says. “I just like to nibble on them plain, too.”

Xilli Salsa Macha

If you’re looking for a chili sauce with a smoky flavor, Wagner suggests these Xilli Chipotles. “Blend them with yogurt and a little lime juice and salt for a fantastic sauce,” she says. “I love this one on fish tacos.”

Best canned and tinned beans and legumes

Best tinned and canned fruits and vegetables

J. Vela Extra Thick Primera White Asparagus

These tinned white asparagus also come recommended by Bartlow. “We use this product in the restaurant in two different dishes,” he says. “It’s a component in our Ernesto’s salad, as well as a white Asparagus pintxo in the pintxo bar … white asparagus conserva is always in the house.”

Ortiz Piquillo Peppers Stuffed With White Tuna

Mason says that the Spanish peppers used in these are “fire-roasted before being stuffed with fatty Spanish tuna.” Mason suggests having them with cheese and crackers, or if you want something more hearty, “Swap the Ritz for a toasted, sliced baguette and you have tapas.”

Fenn Shui — Pickled Fennel Root in Rice Vinegar, Ginger, Thai Chile

Mason is also a fan of this jarred fennel root, which is pickled in rice vinegar with ginger, orange zest, and fiery Thai chiles. “They’re as crunchy and refreshing as cucumbers,” she says. “Try them in your next burger.”

Best tinned and canned sweets

Vox Media has affiliate partnerships. These do not influence editorial content, though Vox Media may earn commissions for products purchased via affiliate links. For more information, see our ethics policy.

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Photo-Illustration: Courtesy of the retailers.

Chefs recommend their favorite foods preserved in cans and jars, from the Strategist

Shelf-stable food items have, needless to say, never been more popular. The bean business, in particular, is booming — according to recent reports, Goya’s sales have increased some 400 percent. But for those whose legume repertoires are beginning to feel a tad stale, it might be worth considering other areas of the canned and tinned universe, many of which are also quickly gaining traction. Anchovies, long the topping “held” from a dish, are taking center stage on Instagram (in sandwiches, on heaps of linguine), and humble canned tuna has shifted from the back of the pantry to front and center. Not to mention the fact that there’s something specifically delightful about eating a perfectly salty, spicy, or sweet item (whether it’s a smoked oyster or a sour cherry) plucked straight from a completely contained package. To find out the tinned, jarred, and canned foods chefs and home cooks are stocking their pantries with, we asked everyone from Ernesto’s Ryan Bartlow, who suggested a tin of splurge-y white asparagus, to Nom Wah’s Julie Cole, who recommended stocking up on Campbell’s Cream of Celery — which she calls “the Ferrari of canned soups.”

Best tinned and jarred fish

Don Bocarte Anchovies

Four of the chefs and home cooks we talked to topped their list of tinned goods with Don Bocarte Anchovies. “The creme de la creme of anchovies are Don Bocarte salt cured anchovies packed in olive oil,” says Nialls Fallon, a partner at Hart’s, Cervo’s, and The Fly. “They taste like butter and melt in your mouth — I could drink the oil when I’m done it’s so damn good.” Fallon told us that the anchovies come from the Bay of Biscay and are “painstakingly gutted and fileted by hand, then packed in large barrels in concentric circles with salt added after each layer.” Then they’re aged for several months, and rinsed and packed by hand in Spanish olive oil. Danny Bowien of Mission Chinese is a fan, too, as is Julia Sherman, of Salad for President and Angie Mar, chef at the Beatrice Inn.

Agostino Recca Anchovies Fillets in Olive Oil

Michael Schall, co-owner of Bar Camillo and Locanda Vini e Olii says that his restaurant’s “No. 1 choice” for tinned food are these anchovies from Agostino Recca. “I am just addicted to them, as are a lot of our customers.” (This customer can attest to their addictive qualities.) Schall says the anchovies have a just-right amount of saltiness, and are “big enough to feel substantial if you are eating them by themselves.” But if eating straight anchovies sounds like a lot, Schall says they’re great for cooking, too: “Melt them in the pan with some olive oil and a clove of garlic, toss with freshly cooked spaghetti, and you have one of the best all-time afternoon pasta dishes.” Chef and farmer Phoebe Cole-Smith is a fan of the Agostino Recca anchovies, as well.

Cento Anchovy Flat Fillets in Olive Oil

For something a bit less expensive, Carolina Santos Neves, executive chef of American Bar, recommends this Cento tin, which she says, despite the low price are still high-quality enough to eat on their own.

Ortiz Sardines In Olive Oil

Bart van Olphen, sustainable fishing advocate, chef, and author of The Tinned Fish Cookbook, is a fan of Ortiz tinned goods, as well, and told us about these sardines. “I love sardines, but buying the right quality makes the difference between having a great experience or never wanting to eat them again,” he says. “Ortiz is famous for its quality. The cooking process is very particular. The sardines are gutted and then precooked before being trimmed to the size of the can. Cheaper brands only cook the sardines once.”

Cabo de Peñas Razor Shell Clams in Brine

If clams are more your thing, Sherman told us that these from Cabo de Penas — “I love all the tinned seafood by Cabo de Penas,” she says. “But these are especially good. They are super clean and briny — eat them straight from the can.”

Ramon Pena Cockles in Brine

My favorite splurge is a tin of cockles from Ramon Pena in Spain,” says Fallon. “They’re expensive, but worth it.” Fallon says the cockles, which are tiny clams, are the size of a dime and tear-shaped. The cockles are pricey because of how difficult they are to harvest: “They are hard and dangerous to source, by hand from the rocky coastline, then meticulously and perfectly cooked, removed from their shells, and placed in order in a round tin,” Fallon says. “Their milky white color is surrounded by clear briny salty water — it’s so elegant, and pure and really a treat.”

Cabo de Peñas Small Sardines

Nick Perkins, partner at Hart’s, Cervo’s, and The Fly, says that Cabo de Penas is also the go-to brand of tinned fish for his restaurants. “They’re just old school and really solid,” he says. “They also just do really solid sardines and mackerels, which are cost effective.” His favorite are the brand’s baby sardines.

“These are sustainably certified sardines, and beautifully hand-packed with high-quality olive oil,” says Fallon. “A real savory, firm and earthy style.” He told us he’ll go for the classic plain olive oil, or the ones packed with dried chillies.

Matiz Sardines in Olive Oil

This pack of sardines comes recommended by Alissa Wagner, co-owner of Dimes (who also told us about her favorite spices). “They’re a great option for both your health and the health of our planet,” she says. “Sustainable and packed with Omega 3’s, these little fish are a great upgrade for simple salads or enjoyed on some grilled bread with roasted cherry tomatoes and fresh herbs.”

Bela Sardines Lightly Smoked Organic Cayenne Pepper

Andy Xu, Executive Chef at The Odeon, told us that Bela is his preferred sardine brand: “They’re lightly smoked, so there’s an added depth of flavor,” he says.

American Albacore Tuna

Sometimes you just want good old-fashioned canned tuna. Van Olphen suggests trying this tin, which is from a brand founded by one of the families behind the American Albacore Fishing Association. “Their West Coast fishery was the first in the world to obtain a certification for seafood sustainability from the Marine Stewardship Council,” says Van Olphen.

Dongwon Tuna in Kimchi Sauce

“I’m honestly just eating a lot of canned tuna, like Jessica Simpson,” says Bowien of his quarantine meals. “In Korea, canned tuna is such a thing, and you can get it at 711, open it up, and just eat it — especially the kimchi-flavored ones.” Bowien says this tuna from Dongwon is one of his favorites. “I eat it a lot — it’s good quality canned tuna, not fancy — I literally open up the can and dump it on top of hot rice.”

Zallo White Tuna Belly in Olive Oil

Ryan Bartlow, chef-owner at Ernesto’s, says that when it comes to tuna, this, from Zallo, is an easy favorite. “It’s from Bizkaia, Spain, and is perfect eaten on its own, or doused with a little minced onions, salt, olive oil and espelette,” Bartlow says. “At Ernesto’s we serve them with our Gildas.” He also notes that the stately packaging makes it a great gift for the friend who can never have too much tuna (which, right now, is most every non-vegetarian friend).

Interpage International Cod Liver In Own Oil

Van Olphen told us he believes in the “head-to-tail philosophy” when it comes to fish: “Where we’re not just eating the fillet, but also the cheeks or liver, for example.” He describes these cod livers as “soft” and “elegant” and says they work with lots of different dishes. “One of my very favorite ways is to serve it with some reduced orange juice mixed with a bit of lime and sesame oil, sprinkled with pomegranate seeds and pink peppercorn on top,” he says.

Ever since I was little I’ve loved large smoked oysters or mussels,” says Carolina Santos Neves, executive chef of American Bar. “My pick these days are Reese and Patagonia Provisions for their sustainably sourced Mussels — I’ll eat them plain or on toasted buttered sourdough bread.”

Ekone Smoked Habanero Oysters

If you want smoked oysters with a bit more zing, Fallon says these Ekone oysters are one of his favorites. “You can have them as a snack with a beer,” he says. “They’re hot! And chewy, and smoky, and really good with mayo or cream cheese on a cracker.”

JOSE Gourmet Spiced Calamari in Ragout Sauce

“The baby squids are prepared by hand — they removed the tentacles and stuff them into the tube of the squid, then hand pack them with a rich tomato ragout sauce,” says Fallon of this spicy option. “Smoky and meaty in flavor and texture, really delicious.” He’s a fan of the baby octopus in olive oil, as well.

Best tinned and canned meats

Underwood Deviled Ham Spread

“I’ll admit that I haven’t had deviled ham spread for a very long time, but one of my favorite sandwiches as a child was this stuff on pepperidge farm white bread with a thin layer of butter,” says Cole-Smith. “I have a few tins of it in my emergency preparedness food kit, because it means I can quickly relive my childhood, using crackers as a vehicle.” Cole-Smith says that in a pinch, “and if you close your eyes,” the deviled ham spread is like “a ‘poor man’s jambon au beurre.’”

Hénaff French Pork Countryside Pate Pâté De Campagne

Perhaps you prefer pâté. Food writer Ashley Mason says that a can of this pork pâté will have you feeling like you’re enjoying “a lazy afternoon on the French countryside” in no time. “Just add a bottle of wine, a baguette, and some crunchy cornichons,” she says.

Best tinned and canned peppers and chiles

Formaggio Kitchen Piparras Peppers

“I discover a lot of my favorite cans and glass jar items from Formaggio,” says chef and food artist Laila Gohar. “They do a really great job at finding products from around the world that are really delicious.” One of her favorite jarred goods from Formaggio are these peppers. “They’re spicy and briny and add a nice bite to a lot of dishes,” she says. “I just like to nibble on them plain, too.”

Xilli Salsa Macha

If you’re looking for a chili sauce with a smoky flavor, Wagner suggests these Xilli Chipotles. “Blend them with yogurt and a little lime juice and salt for a fantastic sauce,” she says. “I love this one on fish tacos.”

Best canned and tinned beans and legumes

Best tinned and canned fruits and vegetables

J. Vela Extra Thick Primera White Asparagus

These tinned white asparagus also come recommended by Bartlow. “We use this product in the restaurant in two different dishes,” he says. “It’s a component in our Ernesto’s salad, as well as a white Asparagus pintxo in the pintxo bar … white asparagus conserva is always in the house.”

Ortiz Piquillo Peppers Stuffed With White Tuna

Mason says that the Spanish peppers used in these are “fire-roasted before being stuffed with fatty Spanish tuna.” Mason suggests having them with cheese and crackers, or if you want something more hearty, “Swap the Ritz for a toasted, sliced baguette and you have tapas.”

Fenn Shui — Pickled Fennel Root in Rice Vinegar, Ginger, Thai Chile

Mason is also a fan of this jarred fennel root, which is pickled in rice vinegar with ginger, orange zest, and fiery Thai chiles. “They’re as crunchy and refreshing as cucumbers,” she says. “Try them in your next burger.”

Best tinned and canned sweets

Vox Media has affiliate partnerships. These do not influence editorial content, though Vox Media may earn commissions for products purchased via affiliate links. For more information, see our ethics policy.

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What Can You Eat on a Keto Diet? Meals, Snacks & Recipes - New Idea

What can I eat on a Ketogenic diet?

Let's put together a food list for your next grocery shopping trip!

1. Low-carb, non-starchy vegetables

While all vegetables contain life enhancing nutrients, not all vegetables are made equal - which means some of them are not allowed within the Keto meal plan.

Non-starchy vegetables - scientifically known as cruciferous vegetables - like kale, lettuce, spinach, broccoli, brussel sprouts and cauliflower are excellent Keto foods thanks to their low calories, high nutrient content.

Cruciferous veggies are rich in Vitamin C, fibre and antioxidants, and have long been linked to a reduction in the risk of heart disease and many cancers.

Keto diet recipes often use low-carb vegetables as a substitute for starchy carbohydrates.

For example, cauliflower is now widely used instead of rice; zucchini is also used in place of potatoes and pasta to create zoodles, a great natural substitute for noodles or spaghetti.

2. Avocado

Avocados are arguably the best source of Keto-friendly healthy fat for the human body, with 100 grams - the equivalent of half a medium avocado - containing just 9 grams of carbohydrates, 7 of which are fibre!

Avocados are also naturally rich in potassium which is an excellent metabolic booster making it ideal for Keto dieters.

Avocados have also been found to reduce cholesterol and improve heart health.

3. Eggs

 Eggs are a Keto dieters best friend thanks to their taste, versatility and low-carb content.

According to Healthline, one large egg contains less than a single gram of carbohydrate and just under 6 grams of protein making it perfect for Ketogenic adherents.

Eggs help you to feel fuller for longer, and also regulate blood sugar in a natural way.

Ketogenic meal plans must include the whole egg - including the yolk - as this part contains the most antioxidants such as lutein and zeaxanthin which help protect eye health.

KETO RECIPE: KETO BREAD

Try this Diet Doctor recipe for Keto-friendly bread, and smear it with lashings of full fat butter for ultimate effect.

You will need: 

- 2 tablespoons sesame seeds

- 5 tablespoons ground psyllium husk powder

- 1 and a quarter cups of almond flour

- 2 teaspoons of baking powder

- 1 teaspoon sea salt

- 1 cup of boiling water

- 3 egg whites

4. Cheese

Made in hundreds of different forms, cheese is high in fat and low in carbs which makes the vast majority of types suitable for the Ketogenic lifestyle.

While cheese is high saturated fat it hasn't been linked to an increase in the risk of heart disease in any way, and also contains conjugated linoleic acid which is connected to rapid fat loss and improvements in muscle mass.

Great news for cheese loves, cottage and ricotta cheese are both highly recommended for inclusion on your Keto shopping list.

KETO RECIPE: KETO-FRIENDLY PIZZA

This Diet Doctor Keto meal is delicious and will satisfy your junk food cravings, without the extra calories!

You will need:

CRUST

- 5 and a half oz shredded mozzarella cheese

- Three quarters of a cup of almond flour

- 2 tablespoons of cream cheese

- 1 teaspoon of white wine vinegar

- 1 egg

- Half a teaspoon of salt

- Olive oil to grease your hands

KETO TOPPINGS

- 8 oz fresh Italian sausage

- 1 tablespoon full fat butter

- Half a cup of unsweetened tomato sauce

- Half a teaspoon of dried oregano

- 4 and a half oz shredded mozzarella cheese

5. Meat and Poultry (aka Chicken)

While more and more people are turning towards vegetarian and vegan diets, meat and chicken are considered core components of the Keto diet and are present in almost all Keto recipes.

Fresh, unprocessed meat and poultry contains zero carbohydrates and plenty of vitamins and minerals such as potassium - the excellent metabolic booster we mentioned above - selenium, and zinc.

Eating large volumes of meat helps to build muscle mass and trim down body fat.

Grass-fed meat is he preferred choice on the Keto shopping list for a healthy diet.

6. Fish and Seafood

Shellfish and fish are both fantastic foods for the Keto diet.

Salmon, sardines, clams, oysters, crab, prawns, mackerel, octopus and squid are all excellent sources of vitamins and minerals such as omega-3, while also being low-carb or virtually carbohydrate-free!

Shellfish consumption has been linked to improvements in mental health and concentration.

Numerous health publications recommend consuming at least two servings of seafood per week.

7. Coconut and Olive Oil

Olive oil has been proven to improve overall heart health and contains many antioxidants - known as phenols - which work to reduce inflammation with the body.

Inflammation is linked to myriad diseases from cancer to multiple sclerosis.

Olive oil is a pure source of fat, which means it is completely carbohydrate free so next time you're frying bacon or eggs, no need to spare the olive oil!

Likewise, coconut oil is an excellent addition to the Keto diet as it is made up of a fatty substance called lauric acid which has been suggested to boost the speed of ketosis.

Coconut has been linked to rapid reduction in belly fat, the trickiest area of the adult body to shed weight from.

8. Berries and Dark Chocolate

While most fruit is out of bounds on a Keto meal plan, berries are the exception to the rule thanks to their high fibre, low-carb content.

Raspberries and blackberries are particularly Keto-friendly and are jam packed with anti-inflammatories and antioxidants which protect against chronic disease.

Blueberries contain the highest net carbs (12 grams for every 100 grams of berries) while blackberries contain the least (5 grams per 100 grams).

Add strawberries, blackberries, acai berries and raspberries to your Keto shopping list and incorporate them into Keto-friendly desserts along with dark chocolate and cocoa powder, other Keto suitable treats!

Just be sure the chocolate contains at least 70 percent cocoa solids - preferably more.

9. Nuts and Seeds

Nuts and seeds are both excellent high-fat, low-carb food stuffs.

Scientific studies have linked high and frequent nut consumption with a reduced risk of cancer, heart disease and depression.

Nuts and seeds are both rich in fibre which helps keep you fuller for longer thereby reducing hunger cravings and the likelihood of bingeing.

Brazil nuts, pecans, chia seeds and flaxseeds are all excellent Keto-friendly ingredients to add to your shopping list.

10. Butter and Cream

While most traditional diets tell you to steer clear of butter and full fat milk the Ketogenic meal plan turns this belief on its head.

Butter and cream contain only trace amounts of carbs and are extremely high in saturated fat.

High fat dairy products are also rich in conjugated linoleic acid, which - as we mentioned - boosts fat loss rapidly.

What can I drink on a Keto diet?

Plain coffee and tea are carb-free drinks meaning they are permitted on the Keto diet.

Both contain caffeine which increases your metabolism and temporarily improves mental clarity, alertness, stamina and performance.

Black coffee drinkers have also shown a significantly reduced risk of diabetes.

However, it's important to remember that while unsweetened, black coffee or tea is perfectly acceptable as part of a Keto meal plan, drinking "light" or flavoured versions of either will add a lot of carbs to your intake and throw your diet off track.

Water can be consumed in any quantity on the Keto diet, while diet soft drinks and red or white wine can be drunk in small amounts.

KETO RECIPE: BULLETPROOF COFFEE

Try making this butter and oil rich coffee from Diet Doctor which will fill you up for hours and set you up nicely for the day ahead!

Simply combine all ingredients in a blender and serve piping hot.

You will need:

- 1 cup of coffee, freshly brewed

- 2 tablespoons of unsalted butter

- 1 tablespoon of coconut oil

What can you NOT eat on a Keto diet?

Foods full of starch and sugar are extremely high in carbs making them unsuitable for Keto meals.

Major danger foods which should be avoided at all costs include fizzy drinks, processed fruit juices, milk and white chocolate, candy and jellies, donuts, rice, pasta, potatoes, beer and most fruits (except berries).

According to Diet Doctor, full sugar sodas and frappuccinos are the the worst beverages you can drink on the Keto diet.

Source: https://www.newidea.com.au/keto-diet-what-can-you-eat-ketogenic-meal-plan-recipes-snacks

[juniorformulamotorsport]

Friday, 26th October 2018/Saturday, 15th June 2019 – The Garage, Buckingham

Friday, 26th October 2018 – The Garage, Buckingham

The Garage has been open for a while now, based in – you guessed it – an old garage in the middle of Buckingham. We’d attempted to eat there before, only to be frustrated by technical issues that had led to the place being closed over an entire weekend, and thus we only finally made it in there last October, as the preamble to a gig at the old Town Hall (Bernie Marsden doing a Q&A and a number of numbers from his blues guitar playing history which was good fun). Consequently we didn’t have too much time to relax and enjoy the surroundings. We were seated upstairs, where you have a view of the open kitchen rather than downstairs where the bar is located. This meant we had no time for more than one cocktail, which served as an aperitif while we studied the menu. Mine was a Bramble, made with blackberries as you might expect, creme de mure (which is not seen enough in these parts, if you ask me), lemon juice and gin. One of the major pluses of this sort of drink is that you can’t taste the gin!

Lynne went for an Old Fashioned, claiming it’s because that’s what she is… and also happy to avoid gin altogether. The Old Fashioned is, of curse, a whisky-based drink and all the better for it. I have to say the combination of bourbon, bitters, vanilla and sugar didn’t look too much different to what I was drinking, though it definitely tasted different.

The food arrived pretty sharpish as we finished our cocktails, a couple of starters that we’d agreed to share. One dish was a duck and bacon hash, served with peppered rocket and a poached hen’s egg. It was good, the egg nicely judged, once you could battle your way past the rocket! There seemed to be a lot of greenery, but the meat was excellent. They clearly have a good butcher.

The mixed game terrine with sourdough bread and a carrot, clove and orange marmalade also backed up that theory, as did the fact that someone was at least conventionally clever with flavours if the marmalade was anything to go by. The butter sealing the top was lovely on the sourdough toast too, and you got two types of sourdough which was generous.

The meat theme continued into our mains, a large chunk of venison steak that had been seared to just the right degree of rareness, and served with bacon and braised red cabbage, along with a fondant potato which I felt could have been a lot better, and a pink peppercorn and redcurrant jus that again I felt could have been better, in this instance if it had been made as a proper, thicker sauce, but that was tasty and definitely delivered on the peppercorn heat.

The other main was again great on the meat, not so great on the vegetables, with roasted duck breast and a trio of confit duck made into bon-bons, served with buttered savoy cabbage, which needed more butter, an apricot puree which I felt lacked the acidity a fruit accompaniment to duck needs, and some somewhat under-powered Parmentier potatoes. The vegetables on both mains seemed rushed, and maybe they had been. Hopefully that can be addressed in future because there was quite a lot to like otherwise about the venue, the ingredients, the staff and the general attitude.

There was quite a lot to like about their wine list too, particularly the bin ends section which produced a half-priced Portuguese wine, a 2014 Adega de Pegões Colheita Selecionada that we very much enjoyed. It had a distinct aroma of red and black fruits, and was a lovely jammy concoction. If we’d had time I could imagine having had a second bottle and taken what was left home. It’s an interesting blend of Touriga Nacional, Trincadeira, Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah, fermented in stainless steel tanks initially, then aged for 12 months in French oak. I’d rather like to try some more of it, as it seems the wine-maker, Jaime Quendera, is making something of a name for himself. If this example is anything to go by, then he’s doing a very good job.

Saturday, 15th June 2019 – Zinc Bar, Buckingham; The Garage, Buckingham

We were back again in June, after a very expensive book-buying day at the 2019 Buckingham Literary Festival. With the demise of Vibin’s (at least as a restaurant by that name – it seems to have become a Mexican fast food place now though under the same ownership) there’s a serious shortage of anywhere really worth eating at in Buckingham, so we had to hope they wouldn’t let us down. First though we decided to try the bar opposite where Vibin’s used to be, Zinc. After having to spend time in our own local cocktail bar trying to teach the bar staff how to make a caipirinha properly (and then being mind-boggled by the fact that said bar ran a series of cocktail masterclasses at the local food festival) this was a positive pleasure, and more to the point a caipirinha done just right! I couldn’t find any fault with it; it contained cahaca, lime, sugar (not syrup, not sugar cubes that won’t dissolve, just granulated sugar) and ice which is all you want in a caiprinha.

Apparently the whisky sour was pretty good too!

Given we still had time to spare, we figured we’d better explore the more exotic end of the list, but then the regular cocktails side-tracked us from that plan in the shape of a raspberry mojito for me:

And an old fashioned once again for Lynne.

We left the bar very happy in every sense, and were soon ensconced in a downstairs nook at the Garage and mulling over the menu while we made inroads into the bread basket, complete with its two types of butter (pesto, sun-dried tomato), olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

We did eventually decide what we wanted to eat. As usual it was the starters and mains that got our interest. I can enjoy a dessert with the best of ’em, but if I’m only going to have room for two courses then I’d prefer to stick with the savoury choices. For starters we would share the aparagus, duck egg and home-cured ham, which delivered on the egg front in just the way you would want, the yolk oozing out and coating the asparagus nicely.

There was also a beef tataki, the dressing packing quite an umami punch, the beef tender and rare and just as I like it. Once again it seemed clear that whoever they get their meat from, it’s a good source.

The mains were again slightly less well-executed, though the tuna steak was still pink, which is better than you usually get in UK restaurants (think grey, tough, dull and dry). It was still the right side of overcooked, which meant it was edible. I’d have liked a slightly pinker take on it, with a nicely browned (at high speed and high temperature please) outside and an almost uncooked inside.

The guinea fowl was very good, and had been beautifully cooked, the leg confitted, and the breast roasted. I think this worked better because it doesn’t require the precise timing that the tuna does. The vegetables were better this time too, though not particularly exciting.

In conclusion, it’s not going to set the world on fire, but it does provide a good option for some solid enough cooking. If we’re in Buckingham and want a dinner that’s a cut above the chains, then the Garage will fit the bill. If we really want to go out for a push the boat out celebration, say, then there are better options around.

Food 2018/2019 – Zinc Bar, Buckingham; The Garage, Buckingham Friday, 26th October 2018/Saturday, 15th June 2019 - The Garage, Buckingham Friday, 26th October 2018 - The Garage, Buckingham…