#he brings out the worst of me
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My brain is constantly torn between "pathetic Sebastian who would pine and cry and beg for you to touch him" and "unhinged Sebastian who would devour piece by piece until you're nothing but a docile good girl at his mercy"
#he brings out the worst of me#reading fanfictions is not enough i need to travel the multiverse#HE'S. MADE. OF. PIXELS.#ravenelyx:txt#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy#adult! seb
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#disclaimer that this is half joke and half speculation so like. please take it in good spirits and don't yell at me#right now i'm leaning away from crowley being revaan because i think the evidence is currently circumstantial at best#but who knows what the future will bring!#man. whenever i consciously remember that crowley is diablo it also reminds me#that his name is supposed to be pronounced like dear and not like the word dire#which always fucks me up a little bit. this is the worst thing about him bar none.#damnit crowley#anyway every time a new part comes out i rewatch the opening just in case there turns out to be any more foreshadowing#(there never is)#(but that ONE really quick bit where you can see overblot azul means i always have to look)#which is to say i have been carefully reanalyzing all the crowley bits and i have reached the conclusion#that i still have no idea what is going on with him#he may be the world's biggest mastermind or the world's biggest idiot and these are not mutually exclusive#(this is a strictly pro-crowley post btw)#(i'm allowed to make fun of him because i love him dire-ly)
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real photo i swear
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd shitposting#actually borderline#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd#bpd vent#obsessive#tw obsessive love#obsessivelovedisorder#obsessive yandere#being in love brings out the worst in me#it feels like i’m being eaten by hatred and malice#fro anyone he interacts with :/#bpd memes
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do you ever think about how lucanis keeps losing and losing and losing — his entire life? losing his parents, losing his childhood because of the crow training, losing his freedom, his sleep, and one year of his life due to imprisonment. then the maker smiles upon him, and he's discovering something good (rook, the veilguard team, purpose), acquiring something back (his family, his life, his freedom, his job, his city), finding some peace in mundane things (coffee, cooking, taking care of others). it feels like the scales are finally moving, balancing — only for him to lose again. he loses caterina, he can lose his city to blight, he loses at weisshaupt, he loses grip on himself (thanks to spite), he loses control — he loses himself, piece by piece. rook can help lighten the load on his chest (thanks to spite), he gets caterina back, and breathing feels a little bit easier. but loss is not done with him. he loses illario, and it feels like losing a limb, a large piece of himself violently torn away. he's visibly shaken, but no one truly knows what it takes to string the assorted pieces of himself together and keep functioning. and then loss deals what seems like the final blow: some of his friends are dead or lost, and rook is gone, too. he failed; he only knows death, doesn't he? life only takes, and takes, and takes, giving only to tease and take it back. at that moment, he's falling apart completely — until they find rook, and there's a sliver of hope once again. the scales are moving, the team wins, they eventually go back to their lives — and that's when he realizes that the final blow is the life as the first talon.
#it's written with romanced lucanis in mind but i felt like it's important to mention that he can lose treviso too#also it's easy to water it down to some sort of karmic explanation: he dealt death and that's what he gets in return#but i think it's a completely wrong and even harmful take#his story could have illustrated perfectly the cruel and abusive system that crows are;#how it breaks people; abuses them for profit and (usually) brings out the worst in them (illario)#and they lose eventually — themselves; if not power#and even if you manage to stay human and sympathetic you keep losing as well because you're trapped in this never-ending cycle of violence-#--and power play; and that would tie perfectly with zevran's story they tried to play out offscreen in the previous games#it would have been so much more meaningful and impactful than uhhh whatever they did in the game 🙃#that would give illario so much more depth as well#also i don't believe lucanis wasn't shaken after the whole illario ordeal (i think it wasn't shown in the game at all????)#like. illario is/was the closest person to him. he spent so much time with him. and yet nothing???#idc about that stupid hero of veilguard badge gimme the brothers' agony!!!!#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#rook#dragon age the veilguard#dav#dav spoilers#**meta#**writing#UH i love them both so much 😭#someone needs to do the crows rewrites.........#not me obv im not capable but i'd love to read someone's version#anyway.... what do you think.... tell me...... talk to me about the miserable brothers......
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Silco being a size queen was not on my bingo card. But I'm here for it
GOOD!
He do be talking about those monster a lot
#answering stuff#no no he wasn't talking about how everyone has the power to do harm and awful deeds when needed#or how trauma can bring out the worst in people#he was just telling us he's monsterfucker#trust me on this
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Episode 5 -> Episode 12
The Worst of Evil (최악의 악) 2023, dir. Han Dong Wook
#the worst of evil#twoe#ji chang wook#wi ha joon#im semi#jung gicheul#park junmo#kdramaedit#kdramadaily#tuseral#userjinki#my gifs#happy 1 year anniversary to twoe and this heartbreaking ot3#there are a couple things that really get me about this parallel#first the way Gicheul calls Euijeong by her name instead of noona for maybe the first time#but he can't even bring himself to say one of Junmo's names#how Gicheul looks at Junmo the longest and with the most amount of betrayal in his eyes#how Gicheul must have followed them to figure out where they live#but still had to convince himself of the truth by staring at their picture together 😭#*explodes and dies*
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I like to think Rollo speaks with an French accent, but it's different from Rook's. Rook's is a deep accent added to with the flair and his deeper voice and Rollo as a softer one to atone with his softer voice. Rollo tries to hide his, but it defiantly comes out the more passionate he gets and it's so smooth and sweet sounding and HAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AHEM. WOW. I need him. Anon, this is so factual..... Rollo with his soft voice and soft accent,,, smooth like honey and just as sweet.......... the way he loses himself in sex and forgets all about English and just reverts back to French,, besides, it's easier to whisper filth in your ear in his native language when you may not understand it. Something something the delusion of he's still pure and so are you and you're not at all defiled if you can't understand the depravity coming out of his mouth.
#twisted chit chat#n/sfw#i just uncapped him to the max level because i am insane and obsessed with him <3#superfan is an understatement#i need to live in his skin and feel his heart between my fingers#and have his lips on my throat so he can taste my pulse and i need to hear him whimper and and and !!!!!!!#mr. flamme brings out the worst in me 😔
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Athena: Hee hee hee. You were so cute! ...And who's THAT fine-looking young man?
Apollo: That's Nahyuta, back when he used to smile.
[...]
Apollo: These pictures sure bring back memories. Nahyuta is cheerfully smiling in this one. That quiet smile he gives in court now seems almost fake by comparison.
[...]
Apollo: [...] (Before he goes, I'm going to turn back time by righting the wrongs that have been done. I'm going to restore Dhurke's freedom... ...and return a real smile to Nahyuta's face! I'm going to win this case. I just have to!)
[...]
Apollo: ......... (Dhurke, I hope you're watching. I proved your innocence... ...Nahyuta's smiling again... ...and that revolution you've always dreamed of... is finally happening.)
apollo's repeated reflections on nahyuta's smile throughout turnabout revolution and his desire to bring a real one back to his face instead of the fake one he's used up until then......augh. it's so fun to me
#fifteen years since you've seen your brother and he's acting like such a dick that you're ready to move the hell on without him#and your dad tells you that he's suffering and honestly that doesn't really explain anything at all. but#you remember the quiet gentle brother you were raised with. who's been in your memories since#before the time you could even remember anything at all. and if there's a chance that your dad is right. if there's a chance#that the brother you knew is still in there. that you might be able to bring back the smile you haven't seen in fifteen years.#then maybe all of this will be worth it.#off-topic but do you ever think about the 6-5 bad ending. where they don't prove#ga'ran guilty and apollo joins the defiant dragons with nahyuta. that was insane of them tbh#staying to help fix a legal system when the worst of everything is over is one thing. but staying when it's still at its absolute worst...#when the rebellion has been forced underground and you're eating lizards when you have an apartment and a job waiting for you#on the other side of the world. when you don't Have to be here but you are anyway....#(or. well. i guess ga'ran knows his face at that point but even still. apollo Could start over in the states if he wanted to)#i think about it sometimes. you could run but your brother is here. even after all this time#there's just something so fun to me about apollo and nahyuta only being a year apart because god they really don't remember#life without each other's existence in them do they#when they were with each other and when they were without each other later#but they always Knew the other was out there somewhere. even when they tried to forget
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Now I’m thinking wayyy too much about new summon naive virgin Swiss and honestly I need my phone taken away from me
#GOOOD MORNING SWISS NATION#I shouldn’t be allowed to write about him#he brings out the worst in me#the band ghost#ghost#nameless ghouls#ghost bc#shitghosting#swiss ghoul
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nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#iii they could so easily make me hate you.#nickloon arc was the worst thing to ever come out of iii#unnecessarily long and stupid and hilariously poorly written#i actually feel insane seeing how many people just accept it at face value as The Canon#i know it Is canon but i dont care. Heart❤️#we need to bring back the fandom energy of collectively rejecting the shitty writing#nickloon arc did not happen its ok. take my hand#in my heart nickel digs himself a deeper hole of denying he did any wrong and everyone at most tolerates him#fits his character built up by s2 so much better and parallels other characters too#somewhere deep in his head i feel like he knows hes wrong. but by god it should not have been that easy to ''fix'' him#hes going to deny it until it kills him bc that means facing any regret or deeper feelings he doesnt wanna deal with#and that means admitting he made mistakes which is a huge blow to his ego#and his Cool Tough Leader personality#hes not gonna give that up so easily#and i dont think its in character for him to change within the timeframe of the show tbh . at least with the time they have left now#thats like a post canon Maybe to me#the only way ill accept it really
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i’ve never been as angry on behalf of a character as i am for sam winchester
#currently thinking about season four and five. absolutely fuckibg mental#the world literally reshapes itself around him to prove him wrong#its all framed as God. Sam was so stupid and selfish and reckless for drinking demon blood. He just liked the power of it and he chose a#DEMON over DEAN.#but. that’s not the story they tell in s4.#like even aside from every single other complexity. Sam is literally right. he has ZERO WAY of knowing that killing lilith is the final seal#AND DEAN DOESNT KNOW TJAT EITHER. like sam is literally right he can kill lilith and he does kill lilith. dean wants lilith dead just as#much. sam’s cardinal sin is disobeying dean and then the world flips around on him and plot twist sam and dean were both wrong all along and#killing lilith is what will bring back lucifer :)#but. it’s not framed like that either. it’s framed like SAM BROUGHT BACK LUCIFER BY KILLING LILITH WHILE HIGH ON DEMON BLOOD#dean you wanted to kill lilith too?????????#but. doesn’t matter dean despite being mostly motivated by jealous anger is retroactively proven to be Right#and sam is retroactively proven to be Wrong. he is bad#i just. jesus. sam’s not evil ever. he’s hardly even that fucking morally grey#and he still thinks there’s something wrong with him that he’s a freak that he’s inherently evil and needs to be purified#why?? cause of something fucked up that happened to him when he was a baby#and because he’s disobeyed his father and his brother and been angry at awful things that have happened to him#makes me feel fucking insane actually#no wonder narrative frames sam as evil no wonder he’s inherently marked as Bad by the forces in supernatural like even on a meta level#in supernatural gods just another shitty father. embodiment of the familial patriarch. and from sam’s very first moment on the show he’s in#opposition to that he’s ran away from john and he argues with dean. therefore he is evil#i don’t think my words r really making sense right now but. fucking hell#and sam is so swamped in guilt all of season five and he just fucking accepts that everything bad is his fault#and he gets tortured in the cage to save the fucking world and it’s STILL not enough. not to appease his own guilt and not to appease deans#anger at him. dean is still throwing his perceived violations back at him in like season nine!!#and whenever he tries to get out it’s treated as yet another Sin. narrative acts like sam thinking dean was dead and having a life outside#of hunting is The Worst Thing He Ever Did#worst sin sam ever commits in the eyes of the show is disobedience. Absolutely awful actually#spn#sam winchester
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Still can’t get over the fact that Bhaal made his son and gave him built in blow job handles
#he knew what he was doing#i’m talking about default durge#sorry for posting this default durge really brings out the worst in me#the dark urge#default durge#durge#baldur's gate 3#bg3#dnd#dungeons and dragons#durgetash
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I just realized. In One Step Ahead, the "typical Curt" "typical jerk!" "ooh, sick burn" interaction is way more than just banter. Owen hears "time to save the world again" and can immediately write it off as Curt being Curt, unable to grow and think for himself beyond stupid impulsivity. Typical Curt, acting like it's a simple save the world scenario where he can cut corners and come out the hero. Meanwhile, Curt hears "and pretend to be a hero again" and can't square it with the Owen he remembers, it's just generic villain dialogue. Just a typical jerk who wants to cause pain. It's no coincidence that the next line in the song is Curt saying "what happened to the man I knew?" he literally can't recognize this interaction as things Owen would do or say.
#i like to think that as much as the fall changed owen he's still got a lot of character continuity#that who he was as an mi6 agent laid the groundwork for who he'd become as a member of chimera#but curt doesn't see that#he spent four years putting owen up on a pedestal#focusing on his best aspects (to punish himself for letting him die)#but now he's been confronted with the worst of him#and he cannot understand how it's the same person#i know i bring this up a lot#but “i think you'd want me to spy again” vs “a world without agencies” is so#curt fundamentally misunderstands owen as a person#because their relationship was never perfect#they probably had pretty shit communication on account of being gay spies in the 1950s#so curt just assumed that owen felt the way he felt about their work#he just never knew him well enough to realize he had the potential to become the deadliest man alive#anyways yeah i'm so normal about them#spies are forever#agent curt mega#owen carvour#my analysis#cleaning out the archive#this post was originally from september 5 2023
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"Throughout Hisui, plates lie scattered— plates with powers all diverse.
"Forever lasting, each inscribed with eternal prayer's verse. "Through space and time will they bear secret wishes for the universe."
#artober#poketober#pokemon artober#pokemon fanart#pkmn#pkmn fanart#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon legends arceus fanart#pokemon volo#I reeeeaaallyyy don´t like this one#but what can I do#tfw you trust an idea and it turns out unbearably boring#this guy brings out the worst in me I suppose#(nah he is to blame for a lot but not my artblock)#(sorry everyone feel free to ignore this one)
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2.7 Quest Thoughts
Spoilers Under Cut, it's a long one and is kinda incoherent and definitely doesn't cover everything I would've talked about in proper detail v-v
I felt heavily moved by the themes of this quest. Both Sunday and Tingyun (Fugue) are characters met with a huge shift in their worldview due to near-death experiences (especially on Tingyun's part with death), so I just wanted to word-vomit about it.
Tingyun first since her section in the quest was shorter, but the fact that they brought up the whole thing where she technically never met the Astral Express and how having Phantylia copy her so closely felt tickled the part of my brain that loves when media explores these topics and scenarios. The confusion and heartbreak that comes with having most of your existence taken and used, people experiencing "you" without it actually being you but being so close to you that you can't even find much comfort in the fact that it wasn't you (say that sentence twice ToT). Also how the trauma comes in the form of "Destruction" creating scars in her that won't ever leave, and while she's troubled by it, and will continue to be troubled by it, she chooses to take a step forward and take action, which is really cool for her in long term storytelling! I just hope we get more time with her grappling with these changes while she makes these strides, because of course, as established, those scars won't heal (at least not so easily). I have more thoughts but I don't think I can put them into coherent words at the moment.
Now, onto Sunday, he's always been an interesting figure in this game, especially his place among the player base and fandom. Genuinely, I think he's one of the most easily misread/misunderstood characters in HSR through a matter of media literacy, which is a mix of many things, and a slight failure of Penacony's long-winded writing, but that's a discussion many people have already brought up (plus a very fair criticism). Despite that, I think Sunday's intentions were pretty straightforward in the end, but for the sake of memes or something else, I've noticed that quite a bit of players twist him into something more malicious than he actually was (which tbh, he wasn't malicious at all).
(Part of me wonders if, in terms of players that also play Genshin, stemmed from the comparisons with Wanderer/Scaramouche, which that in itself is a can of worms I might make another post on.)
He's a lot of things. Very empathetic to the plights of those who can't fight for themselves, very meticulous and orderly (to the point disorder makes him feel uneasy), very sacrificial (self-sacrificial specifically, which I think players have confused with him having a "god complex" when it's more of a "savior complex"). Considering his background, he identified and related with the "weak" even if he wasn't fully aware of that before. All these traits that were shaped by his upbringing come to light in this quest.
Learning that Wonweek was a fragment of Sunday was really interesting, and what made things better was how their interactions near the end were handled. It could've been easy to do the merge and have Sunday "change" in ways that would have felt cheap or a speedrun of sorts to "redemption." But the thing about this quest is that this is just the starting point, so having Sunday express dislike for Wonweek, and while admiring certain traits, decide to maintain himself as he is now was great, in my opinion. It gives Sunday things to work towards at his own pace but also doesn't invalidate the intentions he came in with, which is the point Hoyo seems to be taking his journey with. Sunday's perspective wasn't entirely invalid like some players have made it seem to come across, it's just that his approach ended up being extreme/wrong. I appreciate that HSR didn't do a "we're absolutely right, you're completely wrong" approach with Sunday. I think it makes this new chapter in his journey feel more like a first step instead of a one-and-done "redemption quest."
Now we get to directly see Sunday trailblaze, learn, be challenged, grow, and have a potentially satisfying arc that spans over a longer time, which fits HSR's long-term storytelling. I, for one, welcome Sunday onto the Express.
I don't think I've been able to express my thoughts that well, but I wanted to do this while my emotions and memories were still fresh.
On another note, I found myself tearing up at the interactions between Tingyun and Yukong + Sunday and Robin. When you're aware of the contexts and backgrounds of these characters, it just makes the moments hurt more. There's so many things I could say from each conversation but I'm sorely lacking in the elegance to express them all. Different forms of support and parting, it's so bittersweet. (Yukong, my girl, I know you are suffering frfr)
Robin talking about Sunday and saying that he's stronger than most people but as a result, people expect him to get up faster when that isn't the case just got me, especially since he was actually agonizing over things in real time. The siblings make me sad, and I love their love for each other. The whole, we don't have to fly out together because we'll meet up in the sky stuff has me being a mess out in these parts. Maybe in a later post, I'll be able to talk about these parts with better articulation.
But for now, cheers to taking that first step forward!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr sunday#tingyun#hsr fugue#yukong#hsr robin#hsr spoilers#sunday fills me with a lot of feels#i think i related to sunday a lot#especially in terms of being “normal” and “weak” people#that experience of growing up without much experience in actually going out but also hearing a lot of stories#that bring out the worst in humanity#it's a shame that he's been reduced to “villain” or the charmony dove copypasta for a lot of ppl#can't wait for his goofy interactions with the AE#struggling jpg loves#struggling jpg thinks
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shots that make me feel sick in the head
#the snarl#how red randy’s ear is from the grip#the fact that he’s got BOTH hands on randy’s face/neck#brb writing them#the passenger 2023#/you know darlin queue bring out the worst in me
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