#he also deserves to blow some things up. as a treat.

[bumbledees]

YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO STEAL MY OPEN TAGS <333

hmmmm oh choices choices, but I must say the title that most grabbed my attention is "Please Hang Up! Don’t Try Your Call Again"- I'm VERY CURIOUS.

:D <333 I LOVE TO PLAY TAG GAMES. and to hear other people talk about their wips!!

I'm also SO glad that out of all the fics you picked that one. It's one of the first SW fic ideas I had before Rumor Has It jumped my brain in a dark alley, and I really want to write it eventually. It is actually codywan this time, eventually. POV Cody and occasionally Ahsoka.

In which Cody does some breaking and entering, endures a month of the galaxy's most aggravating phone calls, fistfights the dark side of the Force, and accidentally fulfills a prophecy. Or: Chancellor Palpatine: Such a shame to lose our dear Commander CC2224. Cody: Stop telling people I'm dead! Chancellor Palpatine: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

[snippet under cut]

"My General will come," Cody says, because the idea that Obi-Wan wouldn't is the biggest insult he's heard to the man in at least a year standard.

"The Force, my dear Commander, can hide a great many things from view," the hologram snarls. "He and your men will leave you for dead, and you will starve long before you can even attempt escape." With a spasm of blue, the figure disappears.

Cody can't help a frustrated hiss through his teeth. Food is his most immediate problem, despite the ominous atmosphere of the complex and the nightmare its comm system has on speed dial. Would a dar'jetti even need to eat?

Ooh, look at me, I'm a Sith, he can almost hear Waxer saying. I'm having evil rations for my evil breakfast.

His next thought--that he might never hear Ghost Company's nonsense or watch the 212th shinies earn their paint ever again--hurts more than he expects.

The battalion will be fine; they've got the General and a fine roster of veteran troopers to guide and protect them. But he can't give them up without a fight, and right now the mystery darksider is his only source of intel on... anything about this place.

Kenobi tactics almost certainly won't work here, so it's time to go Skywalker. Cody punches the comm button again, summoning up the tiny cloaked figure. "Hey fucker, I wasn't done talking to you."

The hologram is managing to look surprised without having any visible facial features, so Cody takes that as a good sign. The creepy artifact seems like it could be good leverage for a dar'jetti; he'll go for that first. "Do you want me to break your haunted triangles? Because keeping me here is how you break your haunted triangles."

[sleepyagent]

I mean we can hang and just talk too but i dont want to do that too much

What about once every half year

[willbyersabyss]

So what are Will's flaws?

Is Will totally perfect in every way? Is he a jealous saboteur? Or a secret third option... neither. Let's discuss Will's flaws and nuances!

1. Emotional suppression

Will avoids his problems. He hates talking about both his emotional and physical danger because he doesn't want to be treated differently. From a young age, he was taught by Lonnie that he shouldn't express his emotions because that makes him "sensitive" and "weak." So now he likes to hide.

This emotional suppression causes his feelings to worsen over time. Once he finally lets it out, he explodes. Instead of healthy conversations, he says and does things that he'll probably regret later. He blows up at Mike, he yells at Jonathan, he destroys Castle Byers, he shows his hand (what about us?)

Will's avoidance doesn't only have consequences on him, but others. If he had told someone he was feeling the Mind Flayer earlier, they might've been able to save some of the Flayed. But he couldn't tell someone because that puts him in a place of emotional vulnerability. That's exactly why he waited until after he fought with the boys to mention the supernatural. He traded one vulnerable situation for another, allowing him to avoid opening up about his true feelings. It was a distraction.

This also doesn't let others to heal from their altercations. Both Lucas and Mike try to apologize to Will, but he brushes them off. Will thinks he doesn't deserve consideration. The walls he puts up forces others to hold onto their own guilt, leaving a sore spot in their relationship. We can see this soreness in Will and Mike's relationship in s4. They never healed from the rain fight. Well... not that Mike tried to apologize after the Mind Flayer debacle. Again, distraction on Will's part.

Will’s inability to handle change is also due to him bottling up his feelings. His trauma and suppression makes him stuck in the past. He doesn’t let himself move through each day where these emotions would be felt.

It's interesting how Will is deemed the emotional one when his sensitivity is actually a result of him keeping his emotions in. Once that dam is opened, it's hard for him to stop. He breaks, just as he fears.

2. Self-hatred

And all that emotional suppression leads to Will internalizing other people's view of him. Will's self-hatred stems from bullying and his father's abuse. He thinks he's to blame, that he's a mistake. As more people distance themselves from Will, he believes there's something wrong with him.

When he thinks he deserves mistreatment, his relationships crumble more. They're unable to reconcile. True forgiveness can't be achieved if he doesn't think he should be apologized to in the first place.

Will's hatred is the reason why he tried to sacrifice himself in s2 to save his friends. He doesn't think he deserves to be saved. This makes him an easy target for Vecna. It's very likely that Will's self-hatred will factor into his upcoming supernatural plot.

The more Will hates himself, the more he hides, the more he suppresses his emotions.

3. People pleaser

If Will is anything, he's a people pleaser. He's selfless. So much so that this is the first thing we find out about him. While admirable, it actually leads to more bad than good. His people pleasing tendency goes hand in hand with his emotional suppression. Will doesn't like to take up space and inconvenience other people.

Will's never ending effort to please others leads to him making assumptions. Wrong assumptions. Whether it be letting Max join them on Halloween or pushing Mike to give a love confession, Will tries his best to use his mediator role to give people what they want.

But he doesn't know what they want, does he? Will wanted to make Dustin and Lucas happy, but this created a rift with Mike. He thought Mike was itching to profess his love for El, but that wasn’t what either of them needed. In an attempt to help, he's making it worse.

He must be successful sometimes, though, because there's an expectation from his friends that he'll fulfill their needs at the flick of a wand. This vacancy from Will makes him a pushover. They think they can make fun of him and he'll just take it because that's what he does. When Will finally stands up for himself, they're shocked. That's out of character for him. It's like they want to say: “Why isn't he letting us be mean to him? :(”

Mike even expected Will to tell him that his own girlfriend was being bullied. Will's people pleasing explodes in his face. So now when he's unable to read their needs and fix it for them, he's to blame. Will takes on the weight of their problems too much. While it's good that they rely on him, there shouldn't be pressure for him to judge their every whim. But it's not exactly their fault because Will set the stage for this behavior.

Weirdly, Will's need to please others is the reason why he didn't call Mike. He thought Mike wanted nothing to do with him, so he didn't reach out. There he goes assuming things again! But Will was there, waiting for the rare occasion where Mike did want him. He went so far right that he ended up left.

Will's behavior towards El is also an instance of wrong assumptions. Will didn't like being treated differently in s2, so he assumed El would feel the same way. He used his own experiences to inform how he should treat others. Babying El would make her feel more ostracized. Instead, he offered emotional comfort, similar to the comfort he received, after the bullying. This doesn't really help her because she doesn't have the same emotional mechanics as Will.

So Will assumes things, pushes his own wants down, and lets people walk all over him all in the name of being pleasant.

4. Freeze, fly, fight. In that order!

When Will is scared, he freezes. This flaw is so significant that they talked about it textually multiple times. I'm not sure I would consider it a flaw since it has saved him more than it's harmed him, though.

The few times Will has decided to fight instead of freeze, he was kidnapped and possessed. Confrontation isn't an option for him. His body believes he'll be put directly in danger if he does anything but freeze/fly. Fight is only used as a last resort.

It only really enters flaw territory when it's an inconvenience. He froze during the sauna test, when El was being bullied, and when he should've shot the creature in the shed. Will is unable to help himself and others when he's scared.

When he snaps out of it, he cries and feels guilty for being so hesitant. He wishes he could do more but he can't. This wraps back around to his self-hatred.

5. Jealousy

When his best friend of 10 years that he's in love with starts to ditch him for some random girl, it's not shocking that there would be some jealousy! Will is the silent jealous type. His jealousy doesn't really manifest into resentment or outward action against the other person. Unlike a certain someone...

Will only shows it through rolling eyes, a snarky comment here or there, or an outburst at his most emotionally vulnerable. I mean, if Will really wanted to see El crash and burn, he could've kept his mouth shut the entire Rink-O-Mania day. Or he could've ignored her in the courtyard as she picks up the pieces of her project. But he didn't.

The worst we've seen Will's jealousy was during the rain fight. He called El stupid. There's no beating around the bush, he was in the wrong for that. But this came out of Will because his emotions were at an all time high. Why? Emotional suppression!

A lot of Will's snarky comments towards El are out of genuine confusion. He doesn't understand how El can have exactly what he wants, but she's willing to ruin it by lying. Unfortunately, he later learns that exact lesson. He's envious that she can do what Mike hates without major repercussions, while he's somehow blamed for her lies. And why does he get blamed? People pleaser expectations!

Will waited until a quiet moment to inform El of her mistakes. Will's goal isn't to humiliate El. He doesn't let his jealousy lead to resentment. Instead, he tried to (snarkily) lead her to make better decisions because it's not fair! It's not fair that she can have it all without working for it!

And now we're back at self-hatred. Some of his jealous moments make it bubble back up. He bends his painting, something he put his blood, sweat, and tears into, because he isn't enough for them. Their ideal day is without him. Will's art is an extension of himself. He's aiming his anger back at himself by hurting his art.

All of his flaws connect back to his low self-esteem in some way. This is why it's important for Will to receive and accept love in his life. A big part of his arc is self acceptance.

So there it is in all its glory! All of Will's main flaws in one post. What did we learn? Will suppresses his emotions, hates himself, pleases others to a fault, freezes, and is green with envy. And he wouldn't be Will without 'em!

[gremlingottoosilly]

Thinking about weirdo boyfriend könig locking you in his house when you try to break up with him. He pretended to take it well and invited you to come pick up anything you left at his house. Of course he prepared a cage for you in the meantime :p

Konig, who was the perfect boyfriend in the first week of your relationship. Thoughtful, quiet, a bit shy, but very generous - seriously, the first week of dating him was fucking perfect. He is everything you ever wanted and more. Maybe the problem was the fact that he asked you to move in with him after this first week of your relationship. You said no, of course, you're moving way too fast, and you don't like rushing things that don't have to be rushed. You and him have a good thing going on and you want for it to proceed. You don't want to be stupid and just blow away all of your chances. Seriously. Then your roommate starts acting weird - like you're a ghost or something, it's weird. Then your roommate doesn't go missing, no, not really, but they do start to miss rent and only go home occasionally, looking particularly haunted - and renting an apartment in Vienna can be hard without language and a reliable roommate. You seriously didn't want to ruin you and Konig, but you ask him sheepishly about moving in just for a month or so, until you find a stable place. You swear to god that you won't let you ruin this, that you have a good, perfect thing going on. Life is good, until it isn't. Konig is...nice. Until he isn't. He doesn't like it when you're talking about moving out. He doesn't like it when you're talking about finding a job - you had to quit because the commute was atrocious and also because you wanted to search for something better so you could pull the rent without a hitch. He doesn't like it when you're talking about other guys - or girls. Or anyone. He is possessive and a bit obsessive, and he started talking about rings and weddings, and he is saying that, of course, he would like to buy a house somewhere in a pretty place, so you won't have to think about working again and you'd just be his housewife. He is moving forward with the speed of a bullet train, checking every box for controlling behavior and relationship abuse. Okay, maybe not abuse, you're holding the gift he gave you last time - a new phone, seriously, the last model, simply because you accidentally broke yours while sleeping(you don't remember ever doing it, but you're clumsy and you won't say not to a brand new phone). Maybe it's not abuse. He is just...awkward. Clumsy. Shy. Konig has a raging PTSD and social anxiety, he is basically attached to your hip as you hang out - you need to cut him some slack.

Then it breaks down. You just needed some time to think about everything that happened, you keep telling him and yourself that this is not a breakup - just a little pause. You find a cute room and it's just cheap enough to not make you completely free of your savings. A time to recharge, time to think about life, and finally establish some boundaries. Konig is nice, yes, but it doesn't mean you want to marry him. He is older and more mature but, sometimes, you think you're the only thinking individual in the relationships. It's draining, but you cat manage. You just...need to get a few things from him. When you got out - he was on deployment, and you were kinda scared he could return any moment, and you'd have to break up (talk about taking a pause) in person - you didn't have a lot of stuff. You will just talk like adults now, establish some boundaries, and he will give you your clothes. But, he didn't. But, he doesn't like to choke you and you don't deserve to be treated so harshly, but he just can't watch you make the worst mistake of your life. Leaving him just won't be right. You're made for each other and he will prove it - whether you like it or not. Yes, even if that would mean locking you away in a cage - it's big enough for you to sit, don't worry, this is just safety measures because you are clearly not in your best state right now and you need his help to set you straight. He is doing this for you! Putting nice soft blankets and pillows into your cage, making sure you're nice and obedient for him. You're simply adorable, laying here all dozed off - you'd need at least a few hours and he knows that once you're set straight, everything will be alright. You will be alright.

[birdy-babe]

No one has ever thought about Blitzo's perspective and I think that's the problem: a tiny analysis/essay

I was rewatching season 2 episode 6 when something kind-of rubbed me the wrong way, and it was how Fizzarolli described the fire.

He states:

And I'm a fizz lover- dont get me wrong- and I understand he was angry and obviously not in the correct mindspace at this point in time-

But this type of comment seems so unfair considering how unfair the circus life for Blitzo was. He mentions how he's angry at Blitzo for being jealous of him- but he never addresses why Blitzo is jealous. Fizz has never (on screen) addressed or even acknowledged how unfairly Blitzo's father treated him and how Blitzo had it harder in life because of that.

I feel like it would hurt so much if your best friend was so blatantly favored by your own father, the father that abused you (I think selling your kid and forcing them to steal without a care for the child's safety counts as abuse), and your best friend never acknowledged that situation and held your jealousy against you?

Barbie does a similar thing on a more extreme level, only thinking about how the accident, the fire, losing their mother, was hard FOR HER. And if you look at Barbie, she doesn't really seem to have any scars (besides on her tail, and the tattoos on her body). Therefore we can assume that Blitzo sustained more physical injuries than her - in addition to losing their mother. Yet its all about how hard it is for her.

So far no one in the series has really ever looked past Blitzo's hard persona and think about maybe why he does the things that he does.

this obviously results in Blitzo blaming himself for the fire- besides the one "You have no idea what I lost in that fire" Blitzo never ever brings up how hard the fire was for him. He never ever allows sympathy to be directed his way in relation to the accident, not from himself or anyone around him. He's convinced he's the monster, the villain of the story. It's why, every single time the fire is brought up, he is solely focused on apologizing, on taking the blame, taking the blows from Fizz/Barbie. He never defends himself. Never once does he try to seek any comfort for himself, not once does he make it about him.

My problem is that everyone lets him.

Everyone sits back and watches as he takes the blows for everything. As if its all his fault. They place the blame on Blitzo because its easier, easier than acknowledging Blitzo's pain too.

Which brings me to Stolas.

In this current Stolas situation, where Stolas goes wrong is by repeating this same behavior that Blitzo was faced with when it came to Barbie and Fizz after the accident. Something happened, people were hurt, Blitzo was hurt, Stolas was hurt- but of course it's all Blitzo's fault - it's always Blitzos fault. Stolas takes very little blame for what happened, even though he very much is equally to blame as is Blitzo.

Also note here: Blitzo has his flaws and he does make mistakes that he needs to take responsibility for. This is not to say he is 100% innocent, he's just not 100% to blame either.

Its always Blitzo who needs to apologize, Blitzo who ruined the relationship, Blitzo who broke Stolas' heart, Blitzo who ruined Barbie's life, Blitzo who destroyed Fizz. This pattern happens so much that Blitzo's turned it into a core belief: when something bad happens, he's at fault. He's the reason behind all the bad things that happen. He's the common denominator.

Which is how we got to today: he doesnt believe he deserves love, sympathy, or comfort: because he believes hes the sole cause for all this pain: therefore why should he feel happiness when all he does is take other's away? Why should he allow himself to be loved by Stolas when he hurt Barbie so badly? When he ruined Barbie's chances at love? At a good life?

It's like he's constantly punishing himself for something he thinks he's responsible for. He thinks he deserves to be miserable as some sort of pay-back for ruining everyone's lives.

And you can see as he desperately tries to act the opposite now. It's subtle, because he has to keep up his hard exterior, but its there.

Every single one of his relationships (besides those from childhood) were created because he wanted to help. Adopting Loona to help her escape foster care, befriending Moxxie and helping him escape the abuse of his father and the mafia, befriending Millie (which we don't know their back story yet but i assume he also helped her out of a bad hole, maybe by offering her a position at IMP? We will see!).

I just think he doesnt get the credit he deserves.

I think if just one person acknowledged what happened to Blitzo, allowed Blitzo to be vulnerable, allowed him to express his feelings, allowed him to grieve and mourn the things that happened to him: he would be able to move on, and improve.

It's even worse that some of the people who are the worst offenders are also the ones to claim they love him. Verosika, Stolas, Fizz, etc. They like him for the fake persona he puts up. This enforced Blitzo's belief that he must repress things, that they wont love him if he were anyone else- if he showed his true scars and trauma and if he showed how soft he really is. They love him for his fake persona, not really for him.

So he lashes out. He's shitty. He pushes them away.

And when he does let some of that vulnerability slip? He's shit on for it. When he expresses it to Fizz, Fizz covers up his words with "Glad you could admit it, want a medal?" The only small reprieve Blitzo got was when Fizz said "I guess you didn't really ruin my life."

When he expresses it to stolas "Treat me like one of your butler imps!" Stolas's response is "You think that little of me?"

Which isnt an invalid response point to bring up (and definitely needs to be addressed, which I think Blitzo is getting to bc he's becoming very aware of his other shortcomings), but at the same time Stolas has the responsibility of thinking about why Blitzo would think that. Stolas has never really listened to Blitzo when Blitzo doesnt fit into this mold that Stolas made up of him. When Blitzo gets angry and expresses how Stolas makes him feel:

"Dont act like this is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you" "You can't just throw this feelings bullshit on me" "give me a second to think!" "Oh, sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!" "How could you ever actually care for an imp… Me? How could anybody?"

He's always faced with Stolas bringing it back to...well.. anything else. He either ignores the comment all together or he goes into what he wants.

And Blitzo isnt perfect either, but I feel like we all know that. I think that everyone is well aware of how shitty Blitzo can be, but no one really addresses everyone else. Which is why i'm not getting into Blitzo's flaws, because those are a lot more obvious.

So yeah, thats why I wanted to post this lil analysis. Also because its fun to break apart their relationships and wonder why they said the things they said, get a better understanding of the story and the characters. I could be totally off with all this but I had fun writing it lol.

This is not a blitzo/stolas/fizz/etc hate post AT ALL. I love everyone and think that the story will show us who they are.

Let me know if you agree or disagree!

[chrolloluvr]

Plsplspls do Adam and Mammon with a reader who behaves like a lovesick puppy and is always battling her eyelashes at them and gets all flustered when they flirt plsss 🙏🏻

Adam and Mammon w/ S/O who is lovestruck with them.

Note: I LOVE RJIS IDEA!!! ALSO WITH MY TWO FAVORITE MEN BY VIVZIE LIKE HELLO??

Female!Reader

Warnings: Touching, not proofread, but other than that nothing rlly!

Mammon 🕷️:

He would use this to his advantage. If he wants something from you, he had you wrapped around his fingers.

"Hey babe, yeah, so I need something from ya. You'll do this for me right? Aw, your such'a good girl."

He is so aware that his speech and accent give such a feeling to you. He finds you adorable.

But other than the obvious exploitation, he thinks its cute. Obviously, millions of other girls in Hell feel the same way as you, but he chose you.

But other than that, he loathes in the attention and innocent looks you give him.

He will physically flirt with you. He likes to ruffle your hair, play with your cheeks (both ass and face), ,and his favorite, forcing you to look up at him. He knows his affect on you is dangerously crazy, so he uses that to his advantage.

You feel butterflies in your stomach whenever you're around him, and his loud, obnoxious self. You love how dainty and feminine he makes you feel. You are like his princess, and he is your king. (technically that is true lol)

Because he isn't a traditional man per say, but he has a traditional view on women.

He will mentally flirt with you. He gives you a certain look:

He only does this when he wants to get you weak in the knees for him. Because he knows it works.

He will always tease you. He gets into your head like no other. When you are with him, it feels like no other man matters, it always circles back to him.

He loves the fact that you are obedient and behaved. He loathes in it. He thinks of you like a cute little puppy (that makes him no money whatsoever, but oh well.).

Verbally flirts with you. Well not necessarily always flirting, but thats what it feels like to you. Here are some things he will say to you:

"Hey babe, c'mere and sit on my lap, hurry up, we dont got all day!"

"Well don't you just look sweet, yeah? Are you tryin' to impress me or somethin'?"

"Cutie, go fetch daddy his wallet, yeah? Good girl, you deserve a little treat later, huh? You'd like that, would'nt ya'?"

Adam 🕊️:

Always brags about it. When talking to Lute or something, he will be like:

"Oh yeah fore sure. but y'know, y/n can just do that for me or whatever. Shes just like that."

He likes that you are obedient, but sometimes it crept him out, at least in the beginning. You were willing to do almost anything for him. He liked the premise, but it make him weary how much control he had over you.

But now? He uses it against you. He will have you do things for him, like paperwork, helping him clean himself, dressing him, kissing him on the cheek, etc.

He cant get enough of how you pamper him.

Praises you. He will call you a good girl, say your his princess, etc. In a way, they way him and Mammon praise you is very similar. The only difference, is that Adam is more reserved when it comes to praise in public, while Mammon is shameless. This is because he cares about his image in Heaven, and cant do too much under watchful eye.

Also gives you a face:

This man has such a devious grin, especially when he gets his way with you.

He does this face when he wants to rile you up. He knows he will too, since you are very compliant towards him, since he basically treats you like you two are married.

Also verbally flirts.

"Hey wifey- you look different today... did you do your hair or something? Looks hot."

"Hey babe can you do a favor for me and fetch me some water? Your the best babe, god."

"Aww you get embarrassed when your hubby pokes fun at you? Your such a snowflake babe, a cute little snowflake."

Touches you. He likes to tease your shy, pandering nature. So he likes to blow on your ear, come up behind you and pick you up, or just the occasional slap on the ass.

He loves how shy and embarrassed you become, so he will definitely enjoy continuing his antics.

[babyonboard]

Ultraviolence | part 2

Bradley Bradshaw x F!Reader x Jake Seresin

click here to read part 1!

Summary: You and Bradley loved each other, and Jake Seresin was just your old friend from high school who you tried to pay no kind to. At least that’s how it used to be.

Word Count: 8.9k

Warnings/tags: 18+ MDNI, infidelity, Bradley sucks, angst, smut, oral, choking, Jake Seresin has a praise kink because I said so, a little redhead slander (I am so sorry if you’re ginger).

Announcement: Yes I know part one came out a year ago. Yes I know nobody cares anymore. I want to get back into writing again and this has been sitting in my drafts for so long.

It had been 2 weeks, and you hadn’t confronted Bradley. But, in terms of how he’s been treating you, it’s been paradise. Things were back to how they used to be, or at least that's how it looked on the surface. You wondered if the girl he was cheating with is still in the picture or not. You wondered about her a lot. It was really hard to not think about her. In fact, you thought about her so much that you had a clear picture of what you thought she looked like in your mind. Of course, she’s blonde. Shiny, silky, long blonde hair. She’s slightly shorter than you, with a slightly better figure. Her tits were bigger than yours, and her stomach is flatter. She had a bright white smile and a bubbly personality. 

You hated her. But you also felt sorry for her. 

Jake had been literally blowing up your phone. He called and texted you so many times. You responded at first, saying you hadn’t confronted Bradley yet, but you were going to. He asked you every day after that if you had done it yet, and you never responded. The only other text you responded to was when he said he was worried that something happened and you needed help. It was embarrassing, that’s the real reason you didn’t want to talk to him. It was embarrassing that you were prioritizing guilty attention over your own self respect. 

One day when Bradley got home from work, he was pissed. “What’s wrong, baby?” You asked from the couch as he kicked his shoes off. 

“Hangman’s just the same fucking dick he’s always been.” He mumbled.

At this point, you were all ears. “What’d he do?” You set your book down on your chest..

He shook his head. “Always in everyones fucking business.” He grumbled and went into the kitchen.

Interesting. You pulled your phone out and went to text Jake to ask him what he did, but when you opened his contact, you saw that he had texted you this morning and you didn’t see it.

Since you’re not gonna call him on it, I will.

On your day off, Bradley asked if you could bring his laptop to work because he forgot it. Of course, you eagerly got in the car and drove it to him. When you entered the office building on the base, you tried to remember your way around. And because you fucking deserve it, because of some kind of weird karma from the universe, Jake was the first person you saw.

“Hey.” He said slowly, his eyebrows furrowed. You half smiled and gave him a nod, hoping that was the end of the interaction. It wasn’t.

He came closer to you, ducking his head like he was trying to be secretive. “Can I talk to you?” He said softly. His presence made you want to break down crying in his arms. It made you resent Bradley in a way that was unlike you.

“Jake, no. Not now.” You shook your head, trying to move around him. He blocked you and you gave up all too easily. 

His hand came up to your shoulder, resting it softly on you. He towered over you, but he was still so gentle. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you but you never answer. Me and Nat saw that girl with Bradley again, they were in his car, and we were able to find her on facebook. Her names Clara and-”

“God, you're a lifesaver.” Bradley groaned in delight, entering the lobby. Both of your heads whipped in that direction. You forced a smile and laughed, shrugging Jake’s hand off of your shoulder. As Bradley walked closer, you and Jake looked at each other. His eyes had sympathy and a little bit of anger, and yours said don’t-say-another-fucking-word. You could tell it made Bradley physically uncomfortable that you and Jake were talking to each other. Actually, the energy in that room made all three of you uncomfortable. It also made him uncomfortable that neither of you were saying anything. “Did I miss something?” 

“No! No, here you go.” You held his laptop out to him, forcing a smile. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and kissed your forehead. You were so embarrassed you almost recoiled when he touched you. 

“I was just gonna show her where your office was. She looked lost.” Jake’s voice was noticeably different. It's almost like it went back to normal, he sounded so much softer when he talked to you.

The tension between Bradley and Jake was intense. They both had an obvious dislike for each other that was never there before.

“You wanna see my office, babe?” He looked down at you. You nodded enthusiastically. 

“See ya Hangman.” He said, pulling you away from the magnetic force of a man that is Jake Seresin. 

Back in Bradley’s office, you felt sick to your stomach. From the little information you were able to hear, he is not done with that girl. And now, you have a name to put to that stupid fucking face that you can’t stop thinking about. Leaning against Bradleys desk, you couldn’t help but stare at the picture of the two of you that sat front and center. It was from your wedding. You were both laughing, wrapped completely around each other. The happiness that you had in that picture, the happiness that was in endless supply, surrounding you every second of every day, was nowhere to be found now. You haven’t seen it for a while. 

It was different this time. When you first found out he cheated, you were sad. Cried whenever he wasn’t around, threw up, the whole nine yards. Now, just finding out that it is still going on, you were mad. So mad it was almost funny. For some strange reason, you wanted to laugh. An anger unlike anything you have ever felt in your entire life brewed in each and every cell of your body. It was white hot and it was making you sweat.

Sitting down at his desk, Bradley’s eyes were on you. “Are you okay?” His voice was worried, like he might be in trouble if you’re not. “You look sick.”

You nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine” You smiled. The familiar feeling in your stomach, the same one you got when Jake had first told you, started crawling up your throat. You were absolutely disgusted by him and it was making you sick to look at him. 

He reached out and touched your leg. “Come here.” He spoke softly.

You pushed off of the desk and away from his hand. “I have to go. I have a call- a work call- in a little bit.” You scrambled for an excuse. 

“Oh.” He said.

Backing up towards the door, he looked increasingly worried with each step you took. “Bye, see you at home.” You said, giving him no time to respond or question as you walked out. Out in the hallway, you could finally breathe. You stood still for a few moments, the cool air conditioning of the building filling your lungs as you took long, deep breaths. This time is different. He knows what he’s doing to you and he’s happily letting it happen. You were fucking done with him. Your legs started working again and you made your way down the eerily quiet hallway. That place feels like a museum, everything looks clean and untouched. 

As you were inspecting the cleanliness while you walked, you stopped in your tracks when you read “Lt. Jacob ‘Hangman’ Seresin”. This was his office. You looked around the hallway, saw nobody, then knocked lightly. “Come in.” You heard his muffled voice say on the other side. The door clicked as you opened it, peaking your head inside like you thought you would be bothering him if you came in. He was standing behind his desk with papers in his hands. When he saw you, his posture and his eyes softened. He dropped the papers onto his desk.

“Hey.” You said, still not fully stepping into the room. 

“Come sit.” He said. You shut the door behind you and you were finally able to let your guard down. You took a shaky breath and walked over to his desk. Not wanting to intrude, not wanting to make yourself at home, you stayed standing. 

You cleared your throat. More than anything, you wanted answers. “Can I see a picture of her?” 

He started walking around to meet you on the other side of his desk. His desk was much more neat than Bradley’s. Bradley’s was littered with pictures and trinkets and notes. Jake had a couple of awards on display off to the side, and that was mostly it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jake. Please.” You pleaded, trying to be as stern as you could even though your voice shook.

He looked down to the ground. Without a word, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. It was silent as he typed a few words and your stomach started to twist again. 

He cleared his throat. “Here.” He had her facebook page pulled up.

To your surprise, she was not blonde. Well at least not all the way. She had strawberry blonde hair and dark eyes. And of fucking course, she had dimples. But the biggest thing that stood out was how young she looked. With a second more of scrolling, you saw “UCLA class of 21” in her bio. “Class of 21?” You gasped. You and Bradley were both 30. She was 22 at most. That pissed you off even more, you felt like you couldn’t even see straight. 

Jake grabbed the phone out of your hands. “That’s enough.” He said, putting it back in his pocket. You saw her full name, it’s burned into the back of your eyelids, you could look her up later. 

It was quiet again. Jake didn’t know what to say. He had a million things he wanted to say, but none of them were a good idea right now. 

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this.” You admitted shamefully.

“Y/N.” He sighed “Don’t say you’re sorry, none of this is your fault.”

Looking down at the ground, you were unable to meet his eyes. “I don’t know. She’s so pretty and she-”

“Hey.” His voice was stern, it made you flinch. His hand came up to your chin and lifted your head to look at him. “This was not about you. This is about Bradley being selfish. You are prettier than her. You understand me?” His hand was still gripping your chin. You nodded, eyes locked in his. “You are so god damn beautiful, and Bradley is fucking crazy for not giving you the world.” His grip got softer as he spoke that sentence, but he didn’t move his hand. “Got it?” He asked.

“Yes.” You agree softly. He was breathing hard and his jaw clenched like he was mad. Not that you would ever admit it, but it was sexy. Your knees started to feel weak. Jake has an effect on you that Bradley never did. Right now, it felt like Jake knew that. That he knew he had some otherworldly effect on you and your knees were getting weaker by the millisecond. 

“You promise?” He spoke, almost in a whisper. You realized he had dipped his head down at some point, and you tilted yours up. 

“Yes, Jake.” You whispered back. You could feel his breath on your lips, making your eyes flicker down at his. Now you couldn’t look up. 

Within seconds, everything that Bradley had done to you flashed through your mind in a blur. The most prominent image was him with that 22 year old fucking ginger underneath him. It only made sense to tip your head up further to kiss Jake. 

When Jake first found out about the other woman, he knew this day would come, and he swore he wouldn’t take it too far when it did. But right now, now that your warm lips were touching his and he could taste the toothpaste on your tongue and it felt like his whole body was completely lit up, he didn’t know if he could stop himself.

It felt good in so many different ways. It felt good, like a sort of revenge against Bradley. It felt good to be kissed by someone who actually wanted you. And it felt so good because it was Jake. 

His hand on your jaw threaded back through your hair, his other pulled you fully against him. He kissed you eagerly, like he couldn’t get enough. Your heart was pounding so hard that it felt like it was about to explode out of your chest, like your whole body was struck by lightning and each one of your nerve endings was on fire. It was feverish and nerve wracking and wrong but so fucking right. He backed you up until the back of your thighs hit the edge of his desk, making the desk shift slightly on the floor. Both of his large hands cupped your face, his fingers reaching to the back of your neck. 

His hips pushed yours back even further; he wanted you on his desk. Of course, you complied. His big, shiny desk creaked as you adjusted yourself on it and opened your legs to let him stand in between them. Your shorts rode up your thighs and his hands were on that exposed skin immediately. The only sound in the room was both of your heavy breathing. Your tongue swiped along his bottom lip, which he took as a green light to stick his tongue in your mouth. This was the most exhilarated you had felt in years. It was different from the many make out sessions you had with Bradley throughout your life, it was so much more intense. There was so much more meaning behind it, so much fire. 

It’s obvious to anyone with a brain that Jake is rough in nature, especially in bed. Oddly enough, he was taking it easy on you thus far. That is until you felt his fingers graze against your neck, seemingly testing the waters. You tried to kiss him harder, tried to say yes without actually saying it. He must’ve got the message, his huge hand covered your throat, his fingers wrapping around it. It wasn’t choking as much as it was holding you in place. His teeth pulling your lip made a short whine come from the back of your throat, completely unintentionally. This made him rip his lips away from yours, his hand still holding your throat. 

He held your face an inch away from his. “Did you lock the door?” He sounded so different, his voice was so much deeper, so much darker than normal.

You managed to shake your head within his grasp. The door isn’t locked, there is no way you could have predicted this was going to happen when you walked in 10 minutes ago. It was logical to assume he was going to go lock it, your husband was literally two doors away. Jake Seresin is anything but logical, you should know this by now. He kissed you again, so much dirtier this time. Wasting zero time, his hands were back on your thighs. Unexpectedly, your legs were lifted off the desk and pulled forward, leaving you laying on the desk. Jake pulling your shorts and underwear down your legs, kneeling as he did so, was a sight to fucking behold. 

A loud sigh left his mouth as he set his gaze on your pussy. It was nothing short of heavenly, celestial even. For the last 8 years, you were forbidden fruit, and now he’s on his knees right in front of you, ready to taste you, ready to sin. 

Stopping didn’t cross your mind once. Actually the only thing on your mind the whole time was more. It wasn’t even revenge at this point, it was desire in its purest form. Papers on his desk shifted under your hair, a few of them slipping onto the floor, not that you noticed. 

Slowly, almost experimentally, he runs a single finger through your slit. It struck you that it was gonna be really hard to stay quiet. “You this wet for me?” He faked flattery, pulling his finger away. 

“Jake, please.” You whined. Trying to get him to do something, you lifted your legs up so your calves rested on your shoulders. 

“I wanna take my time with you.” He pressed a kiss to your clit, the light touch sending jolts throughout your whole body. “Give you what you deserve.”

Apparently, ‘taking his time with you’ meant diving into you and going absolutely feral. It was feverish, the way he licked and sucked you was so greedy. There was no time for you to feel bad about squeezing his head between your thighs, but you suspected he liked it anyway. He does. His nails dug into your thighs so he could hold onto you for leverage. There was no way of telling if he was sucking or biting your clit, but whatever it was, it made your vision blurry and your thoughts completely disappear. It was necessary for one of your hands to cover your mouth or else this whole office would know how good Jake is. 

All this time, his cockiness was not for nothing. You understood why he had girls obsessed and delusional, you would do the same for this treatment. Maybe he’s had a lot of practice, but there is no way he is this fierce with every other girl. He was making you feel like you were the only girl in the world, like your head was spinning. He didn’t use his fingers, he really didn’t need to, his mouth already had you fighting to not cum so quickly. Ever intuitive, the only time he broke away from you was to say “Give it to me” against you. His deep voice sent vibrations through your core to your fingertips. The bright fluorescent light above you seemed to expand as your vision went white. The air left your lungs, your head spun, every muscle in your body tensed. His tongue worked you through your orgasm perfectly, and he let you grind against him as you hit your peak. “Good fucking girl.” He moaned against you.

Once he was positive you were done, he reluctantly pulled away. If he had it his way, he would keep you just like this all day. You couldn’t sit up yet, all you could do was lay there and catch your breath. 

Jake knew this was bad. Not because you were his best friend's wife, but because now he had a taste and he knows he won’t be able to stop any time soon. He picked your underwear up off of the floor and gently slid them onto your shaky legs. You let him dress you again, eyes still closed. When he was done, you sat up and the look he gave you was nothing short of sinister. 

He leaned his hands on the desk on either side of you, looking at you like he wanted you to say something. You brought your hands up to either side of his face and kissed him in response, words could not do what he just did to you justice. This kiss was much slower than the rest, he let you taste yourself on his lips. 

Two voices talking in the hallway passed his door, making the two of you jump apart. The voices faded down the hallway, leaving the two of you tensed. For a second, the only thing either of you could do was look at each other. Every emotion possible coursed through your body, and you didn’t know whether to smile or cry or laugh or kiss him again. 

“Jesus, Y/N.” He finally spoke, stunned and shakily. “I didn’t think that was actually ever gonna happen.”

That made you smile. He had thought about it before, which came as no surprise. The cold air of the office washed over you, bringing you back into reality. “You are…” Words failed you, nothing could describe how you felt. “So good.”

Of course, his cocky smile made an appearance. You could no longer judge him for it, he has every right in the world to be cocky. “You better leave before your husband sees you here.” He backed up to let you get off his desk. 

“Yeah.” You agreed begrudgingly, looking down at the ground. You got a sight of your legs, your thighs were glistening and there were nail marks in them. 

As you stepped away from him, he grabbed your arm. “This isn’t a one time thing. At least not for me.” He spoke inches from your ear. “And lock the door next time.”

You swallowed. “Okay.” 

Back at home, you had 2 hours before Bradley got back. You had done your mourning of the relationship, you had spent your time wishing Bradley was different for weeks. Wishing he was sorry. But he’s not. And he’s never going to be. You could continue to be sad, continue to be a victim, continue to cry every day. But there were some other options.

A quick google search of the name that was burned into the back of your eyelids; Clara Bitner, you found her facebook. There was a time where you felt sorry for her. Bradley had obviously lied to her and she got caught up in something she didn’t even understand, so she was probably hurt too. But now that you know she has chosen to continue seeing your husband when she knows he’s married, you hate her. It’s so unfortunate that she was pretty. It would help if you could look at her pictures and say she was ugly, but that wasn’t an option. She had long strawberry blonde hair with deep brown eyes and classic southern charm. She was from Tennessee, but she went to UCLA, and now she’s a kindergarten teacher. “Of fucking course.” You scoffed at her occupation. Is there anything bad about this girl? She had a lot of friends and she lived in a beach condo maybe 20 minutes from here. You had been scrolling for a while, and a certain picture made you stop in your fucking tracks. It was a picture from her 22nd birthday dinner, all of her friends sitting around the table smiling, and there was Bradley. He was sitting next to her with his hand resting on her leg, with a huge fucking smile on his face. It was posted 4 months ago. If he was important to her enough to go to her birthday dinner four months ago, you didn’t want to know how long they had been seeing each other. 

How did he have time for this? This wasn’t a hook up, it wasn’t an affair, it was a second life. You began to think about all of the flight tours, weekend trips, and week long missions he had gone on in the past year. How many of those were lies?

Your marriage is completely ruined, 100% done. You could mope about it. Or you could keep having fun of your own.

By the time you heard the garage door opening, you were in the kitchen making dinner. You played the song “Jolene” by Dolly Parton because it was ironic and weirdly specific to your life right now. And it was just plain funny. 

 The front door opened and you turned the volume up. “Hey baby!” He shouted from the front of the house.

“Hi!” You said. Acting normal was going to be harder than you thought. You heard him playing with the dogs for a moment, baby talking and petting them. 

His footsteps approached the kitchen and you took a deep breath. “God, you look sexy.” He said.

You were wearing shorts and a t-shirt and no makeup. You brushed off his comment as guilty flattery.

He came up and you had to brace yourself. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed the side of your neck. It made you fucking sick. 

Not replying, you started humming along to the music. He swayed with you for a moment so you started singing.

You’re beauty is beyond compare,

With flaming locks of auburn hair,

Ivory skin, and eyes of emerald green.

“I love this song.” You stated. 

“Mhm. Dolly’s the best.” He unwrapped his arms from you.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you please don't take my man.

He side eyed you and you stared right back at him. Yet, in perfect Bradley nature, he played it cool, walking to the other side of the counter.

“Poor Dolly.” You sighed. “Especially since that bitch Jolene is ginger. That just plain sucks, getting cheated on with a red head.” Trying to focus on the pot you were stirring, you couldn’t help but look up at him. His tongue was in his cheek and he had a terrified glint in his eyes.

“What?” You asked innocently.

“Nothin’.” He shook his head and walked away. 

This was kinda fun.

“You have any plans tonight?” You asked Bradley over dinner. It was a Friday, so you figured he was going somewhere, be it with Clara or not.

“Eh, Jake and Javy wanna go watch the game at a bar, I’ll probably go.” He said. “D’ you?”

That was probably a lie. “I think Jenna wants me to come meet her baby, so I’ll probably go over there. Plus she said she needs a wine night.” Jenna was your coworker, and she hasn’t even had her baby yet. It was so empowering to lie back.

While Bradley did the dishes, you got out your phone to clear some things up.

Are you hanging out with Bradley tonight?

“What time do you think you’re gonna go?” You asked from the table. His eyes were on the dishes and it was incredible how he lied so often without flinching while it made your adrenaline rush and your heart pound. 

“7:30, 8?” He said. 

No? Is he saying I am?

The feeling you got was the perfect definition of disappointed but not surprised. It’s a confirmed lie now. “Okay, that’s probably what time I’ll leave too.”

Yes. He’s leaving at 8. Can I come over then?

Of course.

Were you doing this purely to get back at Bradley? No, not entirely. That was a huge driving factor in your actual actions towards Jake, but you’ve always wanted to, so part of it is something you’ve always wanted. 

Not long after dinner was cleaned up, Bradley was kissing your forehead and heading out the door. You watched out the window as his car pulled out of the driveway, and once it disappeared down the street, you rushed up to your room. There was a lacy black bra and thong set you had just bought waiting for you in your closet. Once you pulled it on, you admired yourself in the mirror. If Bradley won’t appreciate it, Jake sure will. You exchanged your t-shirt for a sweatshirt, you didn’t want to look like you were trying. Obviously, you were. 

After spraying yourself with perfume and taking too long to decide what scent of lotion you wanted to use, you nearly ran down stairs and slipped your shoes on. A quick goodbye to the dogs and you were out the door. It seemed that every time you drove to Jake’s you were rushing. While you were driving you thought about what you were going to do when you got there, fully intending to be bold and get straight to it. The fluttering nervousness in your stomach made you feel like you were a teenager again, you hadn’t been nervous to see a boy in years. When you pulled in the driveway, the boldness started to fade out, and you almost felt shy. There was a split second where you felt guilty, your conscience waved a huge red flag and your brain told you this was wrong. One thought about where Bradley actually was right now, and you swung the car door open and got out. The thought that Bradley probably just got to Clara’s fueled your steps, and by the time you made it to the front door, you were seething. Hopefully Bradley has fun tonight, because you sure will.

Despite the vengeance coursing through your body, you knocked lightly on the door. All too quickly, the lock clicked and the door opened. “Hey, Y/N.” Jake said casually, like you weren’t his best friend's wife. He was freshly showered, his hair was still a little damp. He wore gray sweatpants and a white shirt that was entirely too tight around his biceps. 

“Hi.” You said simply. He stepped back, allowing you to come in. It was quiet, and when he turned around to face you, there was an unmistakable anticipation present. It made a shiver run up your spine and goosebumps breakout on your arms. He nodded his head as a way to say ‘follow me’, and started leading you through the house. Silence still hung in the air. It felt like a volcano waiting to explode, like the calm before a storm. 

You made it to his room, and your heartbeat started to speed up. It was getting real now. You had never seen his room before, but it’s just as nice as you expected. Jake has expensive taste, and his whole house reflects that. His bed was lazily made, but the rest of the room was spotless. 

He reached his bed and sat down on the end of it. The way his hooded eyelids cast a shadow over his eyes made you notice how dark the lighting was in there. Unsure of what to do, you just stood and looked at him. He led you here without a word, he should know what to do now. 

“Come here.” He said darkly, the voice you heard in his office earlier that day made a return. He spread his legs open so you could stand between them, a complete contrast to what happened on his desk. You still hadn’t said a word since you walked in the house, but you didn’t need to, your body said it all. The back of your thighs fit perfectly in his hands, and his shoulders fit perfectly in yours. His huge warm hands on the back of your legs made you want to melt into the floor. “Do you want this?” He asked, looking up at you. 

Bradleys face flashed in your mind. So did Clara’s. You nodded.

“Say it.” His grip tightened on your thighs. 

“I want it.”

“You want what?” He was really making you work for it, apparently.

You went to say it, but you hesitated. It sounded worse out loud. “I want you to fuck me.”

You swear his eyes changed in that instant. He let go of your thighs and pushed you back lightly, confusing you for a moment. “Strip.” He said. Heart in your throat, your jaw could’ve dropped to the floor. This was a lot. But you liked it. 

Taking a deep breath, you started by kicking your shoes off. It only felt right to tease him, so you toyed with the rim of your sweatshirt for a moment. You slowly lifted it over your head, taking your sweet time. When you finally got it off, you heard him exhale. You secretly thanked yourself for wearing such a nice bra. The dim lighting made his face darker, but you could still see the pure lust in his eyes. Next, you hooked your finger in your shorts and pulled them down, revealing the underwear you picked out just for him. Once you kicked your shorts off of your feet, you reached your hand behind your back to unclip your bra.

“Leave it.” He said. You dropped your hands and let him look at you. He reached his hand out to you, making you step forward and grab it. As he was pulling you towards him, his eyes moved all over your body. “You pick these out for me or for him?” 

Your face grew hot. “You.” You replied softly, your hand still in his. He used his grip on your hand to pull you down to kiss him. It was searing, and for a second, both of you reveled in the feeling. Without him having to ask, you climbed on top of him, stradling your legs on either side of him. When your core felt how hard he was under his sweatpants, it made your whole body twitch. If that’s what simply feeling him through his clothes felt like, you had no idea what was going to happen when he actually fucked you. He must have felt it too, his hands gripped your ass and pulled you closer to him. 

Things were moving quickly, but it was still entirely too slow. He flipped you over onto your back and sat up to take his shirt off. This was by far not the first time you had seen Jake with his shirt off, but by god, it was the best. Maybe he was flexing, but you didn't care. He was sculpted like an angel, like there wasn’t a single flaw about his body. His hair got messed up when his shirt was pulled over it, it ruffled the top. It only made him look hotter. It was hard to not notice his dick through his gray sweatpants, and simply the size of his bulge made you nervous. When he bent back down to meet your lips, you kissed him in a rushed manner. It was beyond the point of wanting him, you needed him. “You want my mouth again?” He asked against your lips.

The thought made your eyes roll back in your head. Yes, you undoubtedly wanted his mouth, but you needed him inside you more. You hooked your fingers in his waistband and shook your head. He got the message, but that didn’t mean he was going to give you what you wanted right away. He used both of his hands to pull your underwear down. “Slutty fuckin’ panties.” He mumbled. Your lips met again and it felt like you couldn’t spread your legs any wider for him. Without warning, without a single preliminary touch, he stuck two of his fingers inside of you. This earned a theatrical reaction from you, like it was the first time someone has touched you that way. While it wasn’t the first time by a long shot, it somehow felt like it was, you had never been touched like this. 

“Jake” Was the only thing you could get out of your mouth as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. When you tilted your head back to moan, he took the opportunity to kiss your neck. He felt like he wanted to moan more than you did. His mouth sloppily worked its way down your neck and onto your chest. It would have been smart to ask him not to leave any marks on you, but you didn’t care one bit anymore. Not while his teeth were pulling your bra down. He sucked one of your nipples into your mouth, his fingers were still moving in and out of you. 

“You’re so perfect” He mumbled against your chest. You had never felt a complement that sounded so sincere, just the sound of him saying that made you feel perfect. Under his touch, under his body, under his lips, you were perfect. His fingers curled inside you and your back couldn’t arch any higher, your whimpers couldn’t get any more desperate. He used his arm next to your head to sit up, looking you up and down. His eyes roaming your body didn’t make you insecure or shy, they just riled you up even more. 

His fingers were amazing, but they could only do so much. You both knew what you really wanted. “Please Jake. Please fuck me.” You cried. With one last particularly harsh curl of his fingers, he pulled his fingers out of you. He brought his fingers up to your lips, only having to brush your wetness onto your lips for a second before you sucked them into your mouth without thinking. A low groan came from the back of his throat when you gagged on his fingers, licking your own slick off of him. 

He let his fingers stay in your mouth for longer than they needed to be, purely for the way you looked while taking them. Your eyes bore into his the whole time, and you thought that if he was going to humor himself with this for any longer, you were going to take matters into your own hands. The tips of your nails dragged down his chest, over his stomach, and to the waist of his sweatpants. Teasing was an option, but you couldn’t anymore, your hands gripped his sweats as you pulled them down. While doing so, a realization crossed your mind; he isn’t wearing any underwear. That’s Jake, ever classy. 

He enjoyed letting you do the work, so he leaned down to taste your wetness on your lips. His tongue licked into your mouth, trying to collect anything that was left; the taste of you was addicting, he had gotten a taste in his office earlier, and he knew he was already addicted. You didn’t see his dick right away, but you felt it when you wrapped your hand around it. When you realized how thick he was, your heart fluttered. He was thicker than anything you had ever taken, thicker than your husband. A moan slipped from your mouth into his, and that was his tipping point. Before you could make any further moves, both of your hands were pinned above your head with only one of his. He used the other to pull his sweatpants down further, then line himself up with you. The sound of his breathing was loud as he slid his tip up and down your slit, making you squirm. “God,” he shook his head, his eyes glued to your pussy “you are so fucking wet.”

“Because I’m with you.” You said. It sounded like a simple observation to you, but to Jake it meant that you wanted him, you have always wanted him, the way that he has always wanted you. It meant that you were this wet every time you were around him, the way that he was rock solid every time he was around you. That thought was his breaking point, there was no teasing left that he could do, he slid himself inside of you. You knew that he would stretch you, but the feeling still surprised you. 

“Oh my god.” You whined as he bottomed out. He stopped all of the way inside of you, partially to let you adjust, and partially to revel in the feeling of being inside you. Everything was hazy, his vision, his mind, but he still was able to think about how long he had wanted this. Just the thought of seeing you with Bradley at the bars every weekend, and the fact that you were now underneath him, was enough to make him want to cum. Sweat started to bead on his forehead, and he decided to wait a little longer to start moving, his hand came up to hold your jaw, making you look at him. “You’re so big.” You croaked under his touch. 

His lips were an inch from yours, you could feel his breath. “Take it.” He spat. With that, he started to move. Even with your head against his pillows, you felt lightheaded and your eyes fluttered closed as he pulled all of the way out and went slowly back in. From there, he was no longer slow. It only took seconds for his pace to quicken, until his skin was slapping into yours and the sound was infiltrating your ears. The stretch definitely hurt, but the pain was mixed with the most mouthwatering pleasure. Without even trying, he was hitting the perfect spot deep inside you, and soon the sound of skin slapping was overtaken by your high pitched moans. Without realizing it, he screwed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw, making this last as long as he wanted was going to be a lot harder than normal. You felt his lips against your neck and with his face closer to your ears, you could hear his grunts every time he thrust inside of you. 

His hand was still on your jaw, and even though your wrists had been freed above your head, you hadn’t even noticed. His other hand grabbed onto your hair for leverage. It seemed like his thrusts got harder each time he entered you. “Talk to me, pretty girl. Tell me how you feel.” His tongue swirled behind your ear. 

“So good.” You choked out. “You’re so good, Jake. So, so, so good.” Rambles fell out of your mouth as your arms wrapped around his back. The feeling of nails scratching down his back was one of Jake’s favorite things in the world, so when your long nails stroked all the way from his shoulders to his tailbone, he threw his head back. He sat up so his face was above you again, and slid his hand from your jaw to your neck.

Your eyes found his, and the sight of his tanned, sweaty, toned body above yours made you throb around him. His pace was insane, the pain of him slamming into you was drowned out by the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot with every single thrust. The sight of him, the power behind his thrusts, his size, it was all too much. The tears that had been stinging your eyes for the past 5 minutes started to fall. The throbbing of your pussy and the tightening of your stomach told you that you were close. “J-Jake…” You stuttered. “I’m… I…”

“Beg.” He squeezed your throat. 

“P-Please.” You said the word that you felt like you had already said 50 times tonight. “Please, I’ve waited so long. Please, please, please please please” You rambled, more tears falling. 

“Fuuuck, give it to me.” He groaned and dropped his head, the sight of your doe eyes and tears were going to make him cum himself if he didn’t look away. It didn’t take long after his demand for you to let the wave of pleasure consume you. Mouth falling open, your whole body pulsed and your mind went completely blank. More tears welled in your eyes and the only sensation your body could make out was the feeling of his lips on your jaw. It lasted long and it was powerful, and when you were finally coherent again, there was a noticeable wet spot underneath you. “Good job, sweet girl.” He praised, his sweetness making your stomach flutter. 

Coming back up to hover over you, he kissed you. Believe it or not, Jake is not a complete and total dick, despite popular belief. He had told himself he would not ask you this question, that it would be crossing a line and it could upset you. But, when he pulled away and he saw how fucked-out you looked, and the feeling of your pussy clenching around him clouded his mind, he couldn’t help himself. “Does he fuck you like this?” He asked darkly, his face close to yours.

There was a clear answer. It was staring you right in the face. But saying it out loud just felt wrong. Even more wrong than what you were already doing. “Jake…” You breathed as a surrender. 

“Tell me.” He said. Your mouth opened to answer, then closed again. He raised his eyebrows, his cockiness reflecting in his eyes. To his defense, he had absolutely every right to be cocky about this. You shook your head. “No. Say it.” He said through gritted teeth. 

“No. No he doesn’t.” It came out as almost a laugh. “Nobody ever has.”

“Yeah?” His arms flexed underneath your fingernails that were digging into them. You nodded. 

His energy had an obvious change, the admission had done something sinister to him. He sat fully up and pulled out, earning a loud wince from you. All at once, he grabbed your waist and flipped you over onto your stomach. With one hand, he reached under your stomach to pull you onto your hands and knees. Only having been out of you for seconds, he slammed himself back in. You were already sore, and he wasn’t even done yet. 

Now that your big, tear-filled eyes weren’t staring into his, he was able to start really talking. “Y/N,” one of his huge hands gripped your ass, the other held onto your waist. “I don’t even want to tell you how many times I’ve thought about this.” The only response he got from you was a high pitched whine. “I felt disgusting for thinking about you like that, but I couldn’t help it. It drove me fucking crazy, having to imagine taking you like this every night, my best friends wife.” That probably wasn’t the best thing for him to say right now, but he couldn’t control the words coming out of his mouth anymore. Unbeknownst to him, it just turned you on even more. His thrusts started to lose rhythm, and as much as he would like to keep this going all night, he was coming unraveled. “I always knew I would take better care of you.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “I knew he couldn’t fuck you the way I could. The way you deserve.” 

It felt almost like you were going in and out of consciousness, like you could barely even process his words. Without warning to him or yourself, you pulsed around him and another orgasm poured over your body. No words came from your mouth, and by the end of the second-most powerful orgasm of your life, your body was nearly limp and your face fell to press against the mattress. “Jesus, baby.” Jake breathed. “You just… so much… fuck, where do you want my cum?” he asked, almost rhetorically because of how little time you had to answer. He pulled out at the exact last moment, and you felt his warm cum start to run down your back. He collapsed, trapping your body underneath him as his armed caged around your sides. 

Time felt different, and your hazy mind didn’t know how long the two of you laid there, breathless. Finally, gaining full consciousness, you felt Jake get off of you and walk out of the room. You were smart enough not to turn over, his bedsheets were already wet enough. The feeling of a cold wet towel against your core made your whole body jolt. “Relax, relax.” Jake said, his voice completely different than just a few minutes ago. As he gently wiped your back with the towel, his other hand came to brush hair out of your face, noticing your completely blank expression. “Are you okay?” He asked.

A smile cracked through your lips. You could say the smile was sinister, a I-just-fucked-my-husbands-best-friend smile, or you could say it was pure bliss, a I-just-had-the-best-sex-of-my-life smile. You preferred the latter. “Yeah.” You giggled “You could say that.”

His shoulders relaxed, and a very similar smile spread across his face. While he was putting his sweatpants back on, you glanced at his alarm clock. Nine o clock, it had only been an hour since you left your house. You sunk into the bed with the realization that you had all of the time in the world. Unintentionally, the math of where Bradley is calculated itself in your head. Clara lives further north, on the coast, about 25 minutes from here. Bradley has just gotten started there. 

When Jake climbed in bed next to you, the thought of cuddling made a chill crawl up your spine. For some reason, that felt like crossing a line. It felt more intimate than anything else that had happened in this bed tonight. But, Jake didn’t seem to think twice about it. When his strong arms wrapped around you, and you pressed your cheek against his warm chest, all of your inhibitions melted away. His hand rubbed up and down your back, and your eyes fluttered closed. The feeling of your eyelashes closing against his chest made Jake’s heart swell. Fuck.

-

When you walked up the stairs to your bedroom, the house felt eerily silent. It was unsettling. The stairs didn’t even creek as you walked up them, and your dogs were nowhere to be seen. You started to move quicker towards your bedroom, and you flipped the light on right away when you opened the door.

The sight of strawberry blonde hair splayed across your pillow reflected the overhead light. Your mouth fell open, and you tried to talk, but nothing would come out. Furthermore, you tried to yell, but it felt like you couldn’t even get a breath in to do so. You couldn’t even move your feet. 

Clara’s eyes opened, and she didn’t look shocked to see you. She sat up and met your eyes. A smile spread across her lips. 

Your whole body flinched and your eyes shot open. When you realized you were laying in Jake's bed, you were finally able to take a breath in. The realization made you relax into his arms for a moment, closing your eyes again. When the clouds in your mind started to clear, and you finally had a coherent thought, you realized that you were just asleep. In Jake’s bed. Your eyes shot open again, and your head whipped around to look at his alarm clock. It was 12:30. “Shit.” You gasped. Moving on pure instinct, you rolled out of his bed and started to gather your clothes. By the time your shorts were on, Jake woke up. 

“What’s wrong?” He groggily spoke. 

“We fell asleep. It’s 12:30.” You pulled your sweatshirt over your head. “I have to go home.”

“Oh.” He said. He was obviously not as freaked out as you were, but he wasn’t the one going home to his spouse. The room was quiet while you put your shoes on, and in the darkness you were able to make out Jake’s figure standing up and rubbing his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” You turned your head to say as you walked out of his room. Fully intending to book it to your car, your rushed movements were stopped by Jake grabbing your wrist right before you reached the front door. He pulled you to his chest and kissed you. His lips were soft, and his hands held your hips gently. Only letting the kiss last a few seconds, you pulled away. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears and you wondered if Bradley had tried calling you, if he was worried about you. Just past his shoulder, you saw Jake's couch, the one you were sitting on when he had originally told you about Bradley’s affair. Just the sight made your blood start to boil. 

You kissed him again. “Goodnight Jake.”

“Goodnight.” His hands left your hips and one last glance was shared between the two of you before you were out the front door. No promises of this happening again, no ‘text me when you get home’, just a pit in both of your stomachs that said this was wrong, but there is no way we are stopping. The air was chilly as you walked to your car and you didn’t have it in yourself to speed home this time. You didn’t care. Driving slowly, you let the radio play softly in the background and when you turned the corner to your street and saw Bradley’s car in the driveway, you hardly reacted. The lights were still on, and with a glance at your phone let you know that he still hadn’t texted or called. 

It was 12:45 and Bradley was on the couch watching TV. Not unusual, but you were still quiet when you walked in. “How’s Jenna?” He didn’t take his eyes away from the TV.

“Good.” You kicked off your shoes. “Her baby is so cute.” While you hoped the questions would stop there, you knew it would be suspicious to just go upstairs right away. How does Bradley do this every day?

He lifted the blanket he was using up so you could crawl under it. His warm skin felt safe and familiar. As usual, his hand fell to your hair to pet it. Closing your eyes, you could already feel the guilt seeping through your skin and crawling up to form a lump in your throat. “How was the game?” You faked curiosity. 

“Mm.” He grumbled. “Philly lost. Per usual.”

You began to wonder if he actually watched it. “How’s Jake?” 

His chest rose under your cheek as he took a breath in. “Good, I think. Same old same old.”

“Mhm.” You agreed. Fucking liar.

An overwhelming feeling of disgust overtook you. He was lying, but so were you. You were just as bad as him. You thought back to the early days of your relationship, when you said you would do anything for each other, you would never leave each other, that you loved each other more than anything in the world. What happened? Where did you go wrong?

Tears stung your eyes and nausea crept up your throat. "I'm gonna go to bed." You sprung off the couch and booked it towards the stairs.

Bradley didn't flinch. "Goodnight." He spoke, eyes glued to the TV "I love you."

You glanced back at him, and maybe if he was looking at you he would see the disturbance of disgust and infidelity on your face. Regardless, you said nothing in response and walked up the stairs silently.

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Dead Boy Detectives: Fic Recs

My latest hyperfixation is Dead Boy Detectives, so oc I've been reading and commenting on a ton of fic. And it's been really nice because the response of the authors has been so warm. I don't think I've ever gotten so many replies so quickly! Also, the fandom has inspired me to actually start writing again for the first time in two years and I've got a great idea for a fanvid. (Any tips on how to make one would be appreciated! 😅)

So in tribute to the lovely fandom, here's a fic rec post (nearly all payneland):

in this city there's a thousand things I want to say to you by laiqualaurelote

Edwin has a sexual awakening and it blows Charles' mind. And other things. Very funny and well written. Also features minor Edwin/Cat King and Edwardian flirting.

I also highly recommend the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned by the same author, which is a kind of multiverse!Edwin fic? Featuring Edwin dying? And Niko time travelling? Trying to save time? Anyway, interesting to see Edwin alive, ageing and in different periods of time/his life.

For the First Time Twice by LikeMmmCookies

Amnesia fic! Charles loses his memories and thinks he and Edwin are married. Very cute (tandem bike date!) and well written, though Edwin's point of view still manages to be angsty. Also, the yearning is off the charts and the most recent chapter turned up the heat.

I guess you're stuck with me by Punny_Puck

AU in which Edwin and Charles actually got married pre-show. Funny, cute with a sweet marriage proposal prequel. Instant comfort fic.

Dance the Night by Gruoch

The gang are hunting an energy-sucking vampire that targets beautiful people, so naturally Edwin MUST disguise himself as the hottest girl in London. This one starts out fun and campy then takes a hard left turn into Serious Business. Prepare yourself for emotional moments, worldbuilding and some really excellent horror.

Long Past Time by sanctuary_for_all

Charles proposes to Edwin post canon. It's a short and sweet established relationship fic with some cool worldbuilding about ghosts and their ability to shape their clothing/appearances.

lay my hands on heaven by Opossum_Subatomic

I had to include a PWP and this is a great one. Extremely well written, in character and romantic. And explicit, obviously.

Data Points by Asidian

Edwin learns to cuddle. It's a production and completely adorable. I love a fic that explores the difference between the boys' physicality and this one's really on point. The writing and characterisation are great and it's nice to see Edwin taking care of Charles.

I also recommend Lanterns In the Dark, which sets the scene for Charles and Edwin's first meeting with some gut-wrenching details about Charles' homelife and Edwin's escape from Hell.

When I Was a Young Boy by flowerbritts

A Good Omens crossover and AU in which Aziraphale is Edwin's adopted father. Family reunions and revelations abound. Also, Edwin gets to be a teenager and slam doors while shouting, as he deserves.

The author has also written Wait, I'm Coming Too, which is a very sweet post canon 'Charles Worries About Edwin and Realises His Feelings' fic inspired by that 'Edwin reading Heartstopper' fanart. Both fics deserve more love!

A Slight Miscalculation by kantigone

Idiots in Love and Didn't Know They Were Dating. Crystal and Niko are the real MVPs, for real. A treat.

Terrible at Keeping Secrets (5+1) by ASingularSadSoggyPringle

Interesting demon!Edwin AU. Charles is a precious cupcake in this fic and Edwin is mostly the same with some Darker moments. I loved the concept and the author adds in some great, creepy details.

somaesthesia by perexcri

Edwin's journey from being touch-averse to touch-starved... at least when it comes to Charles. Palmistry is involved. I loved Edwin's characterisation and the unresolved sexual/romantic tension was on point.

And possibly I like the thrill (of under me you quite so new) by Leandra

Edwin explores his sexuality and re-negotiates his relationship with Charles. Meanwhile, the gang take on the case of a ghost who wants them to matchmake his still-living lover. Crosses over with The Sandman. And Edwin gets to be confident and flirty as a treat.

Always by How You Doing (FancyMeetingYouHere)

Hurt/Comfort fic in which Edwin has a traumatic flashback to the doll-head demon spider and Charles looks after him. Charles reading Good Omens to Edwin is a nice, meta touch.

Made You Look by Baby_Spinach

The agency are hunting an incubus that decides to take on Edwin's appearance. A repression explosion ensues. Fun fic.

Shape Me by dearheartdont

This one's actually a character study of Charles and his mixed race Indian heritage (so no Edwin) and it's so well done. It's also part of a series in progress about Charles growing up in the 80s with all the racism and homophobia that that entails. I look forward to seeing where it goes.

The Most Tender Place In My Heart by coloursflyaway

Edwin shares memories of how he fell in love with Charles, who figures out his own feelings in the process. It's super sweet and involves fun pre-show flashbacks and defintely deserves more attention!

I also loved Won't Fear Love by the same author, in which Charles takes Edwin out on dates and breaks the cuteness scales. And shout out to Good Enough which is the first fic I bookmarked for this fandom! 🥳

Anyway, thank you to all these amazing writers for making this fandom so special! 🥰

[mothandpidgeon]

Nine Lives (witch's familiar!Ezra x witch!f!reader) - Part 3

Moth's Masterlist // follow @mothandpidgeon-updates and turn on notifications to stay updated with my fics!

SERIES MASTERLIST

pairing: witch's familiar!Ezra x witch!f!reader

rating: T (evenual E) MDNI

summary: As you came into your powers and your curves filled in, Ezra realized he feelings for you were more than just affection. The only problem? He's a 300 year old crused witch. Oh, and he's a cat.

contents: age gap (like 300 years), angst, slow burn, yearning, probably anachronistic witchy stuff, Ezra is a cat, he won't be forever, this isnt a beastiality thing, mentions of abuse moth never uses y/n.

wc: 4.3k

a/n: I've had a tough couple of weeks (I mean, this week, who hasn't). I hope this will bring some of you joy this weekend. You deserve it. If it did, please please let me know. That would really cheer me up. Also, in case you missed it, going forward I'm going to be updating every 2 weeks. I really hope I can keep it up!

I must thanks @moonlitbirdie and @lowlights for the beta and their massive support of me in life and in writing this. Also thank you @schnarfer for helping me brainstorm some plot!

🐈‍⬛

Aunt Margot’s ringing up a tattooed girl with glasses when you stomp into the shop. You swing the door open so violently that it’s bell thwacks into the wall. You had almost a mile in the woods to walk it off but your anger has only grown, ballooning into a hot rage that’s devouring everything in your path.

“How was it?” Margot asks with a sly smile once the customer’s left with their little brown paper bag.

“River’s disgusting,” you announce. 

“What happened?” her expression immediately clouds with concern. 

“This is exactly why I don’t date witches. I told you that I didn't want to be set up with him.” you rant, blowing past her into what was once the dining room. 

There’s still a turned leg table at its center, now piled with goods for sale. Percy winds his way between beeswax candles and hand-poured soaps.  

“Oh yes I really forced him on you,” she says with sarcasm. “I recall the two of you were practically necking in front of the whole coven last night.”

You’re not sure if it’s the idea that you almost fucked River or the term necking that grosses you out more but you cringe.

“He’s so backwards. Guys like him make me ashamed to be a witch,” you say. 

“How can you say such a thing? Ashamed to be a witch! Do I need to remind you just how lucky you are? After what we’ve been through? Our kind was almost wiped off the face of the earth. By mortals like your little boyfriends,” she says. 

“I’m so tired of hearing that. It’s a shitty excuse. Mortals killed witches hundreds of years ago so we get a free pass to do whatever we want. To treat our familiars like slaves,” you reply. 

She scoffs. “Percy do you hear that?”

He squeaks indignantly. 

“He’s offended by that,” she tells you. 

“He should be. It’s worse than offensive. It’s evil!” you say. Your voice echoes so loudly it rattles the antique silvered mirror hanging over the mantle. 

Margot gathers Percy in her palm calmly stroking his white fur, her eyebrow arched in a way that tells you she’s trying to be patient. You shouldn’t take out it on her. She’s never been anything but good to her familiar. 

“Do you know what he said about Ezra?” You can feel tears begin to bite at your eyes. 

She frowns when she reaches into your mind to hear it herself. 

“His family’s always held onto the old ways," she says, shaking her head in disappointment. 

“Don’t make excuses for him,” you snap. 

She tucks Percy into the pocket of her cardigan and places a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“He’s an idiot and I’m proud of you. And you should be proud of yourself too. All of you,” she says. 

–

The basement of the Arcane Page might be described as spooky, what with its cobwebs and dusty, amber jars. Apothecary shelves stocked with potions, rare ingredients, and animal bones meet the low ceilings. Disused broomsticks sit in the corner along with willow branches and a black goat’s horn. There are all manner of spell books down here along with hand written notes from your ancestors. At the center of the room there’s a wide oak table carved with runes and spells. It smells like ink and dried leaves and magic. 

The warm sunset streams through the egress windows catching the dust that floats in the air. Margot didn’t have to be a mind reader to know you wanted to be alone and so she didn’t put up a fight when you offered to close up on your own. After you closed the register and locked the front door, you ventured down to the part of the shop meant only for witches. 

Your plan was just to have some quiet before venturing upstairs where Ezra would be waiting. For all you knew he was still huddled under the bed. You could abhor River but only one of you had actually hurt your familiar. You couldn’t bring yourself to face Ezra knowing you were just as bad as the rest of them. 

You start opening old books. Spell books and ancient texts. You’re looking for something, what it is you can’t be certain. All you know is that you felt drawn down here, your fingers itching for the parchment pages. 

When you were a young witch, you came here often. There were spell books that had become your favorites, embellished with intricate illustrations. You memorized charms for changing the color of your hair and shuffled a dog-eared set of tarot cards. This was where you cast some of your very first spells. Magic made the world feel full of wonder yet it gave you some control, an order to things that would otherwise be chaos. 

That’s gone now. All of it mixed up— pride and shame, power and weakness, love and loss. 

You pull a large volume from the shelf, its soft leather cover embossed with constellations. heavy and thick, You need both hands to carry it to the table where it lands with a thud and a gasp of dust escapes into the air. 

You turn it open, the aged glue of its spine cracking. You run your fingers over the delicate pages, so thin you can practically see through them. They’re covered in a careful hand and you can’t help but wonder about the witches that set these spells down, what advice they’d have for you. 

The magic in here is convoluted, singular spells that spill over pages and pages with diagrams and celestial calendars. Some are written in verse so dense you can barely make out their meaning. They remind you of the cadence of Ezra’s voice. 

These are not small acts of witchcraft. There are instructions for summoning beasts and recipes for potions that restore youth to be brewed specially on the solstice. Some of it feels dangerous— curses against unfaithful lovers, spells to wake the dead and use them for your bidding. 

You read through them all with mild curiosity. You have no reason to reanimate a dead horse or brew a cure for quinsy— whatever that is— though it would be amusing to cast a perpetual dancing spell on River if you didn’t think it would kill him. 

You chuckle to yourself as you imagine him dancing uncontrollably, his limbs uncontrollable, as you turn the page. And there you see it. 

What you didn’t know what you were looking for has found you.  

–

You barge into the apartment with a wild look in your eye. Ezra’s still curled up in your spot on the bed. He’s been there most of the afternoon, letting bad memories flood his mind. 

After the elders turned him, Ezra promised himself that he would be better. He’d been selfish and dishonest. Quick to anger. It was out of necessity, he’d told himself, but obviously it had only brought him suffering. He would change. But had he? He’d let you care for him, had loved you and fantasized about you, and he’d hurt you.  

You’re calling his name, breathless from running up the stairs, with a leather bound book under your arm. 

Ezra lingers in the bedroom door, guilt still festering. 

“Look,” you say, setting the tome open on the little breakfast table with a thud. It seems as though you’ve forgotten everything, a whirl of urgency about you. 

Ezra hops up and seats himself in front of the weathered pages. He takes in the verses there, the drawing scratched with quill and ink. It’s complicated and obscure, laborious instructions that must be followed to the letter. Behind him you’re nearly bouncing with untamed energy. 

“What are you showing me?” he asks. He knows. The spell is exact but its outcome is clear. 

“It’s a transfiguration spell,” you explain. 

“That much is clear but—“

“I want to do it,” you say. There’s a determination in your words, a fiery assuredness that makes Ezra’s heart pick up. “I want to turn you back into a human.”

“That’s impossible.”

“No. It’s all right here. And it says under the moon of All Hallow’s Eve. That’s just in a few weeks,” you add excitedly. 

“Little mage, I needn’t explain why this is folly,” he says.

It pains him to say it and not just because being human again would be the greatest gift. Your expression is a mix of frustration and heartbreak. 

“You propose to defy the Elders’ judgment. They won’t take kindly to that,” he says. 

“Fuck them,” you hiss. “The laws have changed. If you were convicted now, they’d take your powers but they wouldn’t make you live like this.”

“They’ll take yours if you do something so foolish,” he says. It comes out harsh but he’s angry that you’d risk your powers for him. That he wants so badly to accept. 

“You don’t deserve to be a fucking cat. You should get a normal life,” you say, your body sagging onto the sofa like it can’t stand the weight of it all anymore. 

“That’s quite a touching sentiment.” Ezra tries to couch the words in sarcasm but his voice breaks. He jumps down from the table and situates himself on the cushion beside you. 

“Why didn’t you tell them?” you ask, defeated. Tearful eyes look towards the ceiling before falling onto him. “When they put you on trial. Why didn’t you tell the elders what he’d done?”

Ezra’s head sinks between his shoulders. 

Damon was the kind of witch that only used his powers to numb himself to the rest of the world. He brewed potions that made him neglectful of his daughter one moment, belligerent towards her the next. Ezra had never considered himself a do-gooder. He saw the girl with bruises and said nothing. He was so disinterested in the goings on, he’d never even bothered to learn her name until his trial. Largely, he ignored them until the night he took Damon’s life. 

Ezra hadn’t meant to engage him. It was a snide remark he made that pulled Damon’s attention away from berating Cee. Soon the two of them came to blows, Damon throwing the first punch with an accusation. Ezra was scrappy but there was a point when Damon had him pinned down and he thought his time was up. So when he was able to break free, Ezra made sure he wouldn’t be bested. 

“You can’t understand how precarious it was for us then,” he says. “A hundred years of witch hunts. The life of a witch, even one as detestable as Damon was precious.”

Maybe if they’d known how Damon treated one of their kind, they would have shown Ezra leniency. But the real reason he accepted his punishment was because he knew it had been his own fault. Had he intervened earlier, gotten the Elders involved, it wouldn’t have ended in murder. You might think him a hero, but when the Elders made Ezra her familiar, Cee made it clear that she did not. 

You sigh, a slight shake of your head, and you sink back into the sofa. 

“You are a more than capable witch but this is ancient magic. It took the powers of no less than three elders to change me,” Ezra says as if it’s any consolation. 

“Maybe Margot—“ 

“You’d both risk your powers,” he stops you. “No, little mage. It’s impossible.”

—

“I’m not coming,” you say. 

Aunt Margot is loading a carpet bag into the trunk of her station wagon. Nearly a month has passed since the equinox. Halloween is two days away which means it’s time for your annual trip to Salem where the coven will be gathered through Samhain. The celebrations will be days long, singing and food, apple bobbing and fortune telling. Your little gathering doesn't compare. 

Last night you couldn’t bring yourself to pack.

“What do you mean?” She asks.

”I’m sorry,” you say with a shrug. 

You’ve been waffling on this decision for weeks but you’ve made up your mind. Even if it disappoints Aunt Margot.

”But everyone will miss you. And Simone’s making her gumbo,” she says.

”I know,” you say. 

As Margot babbles out more reasons why you really shouldn’t stay home (“The spirit walk just won’t be the same without you”), Ezra snakes between your legs. You were nervous of how she’d take this news and Ezra promised to be moral support. 

She throws out her hands with a pout. “I can’t stand thinking about you alone for All Hallows Eve,” she says. 

“I won’t be alone,” you say, picking Ezra up and scratching under his chin.  

“I will miss the gumbo,” he tells her. 

“No Ezra,” she contemplates. “Maybe I can actually win at Scrabble.” 

“Perchance,” he says, and you know she’s mentally tabulating the word score. 

“Is this because of River?” She narrows her eyes. 

It’s not. While you certainly won’t miss him, you wouldn’t let some dickwad keep you from having a good time. It’s all of them, really. Esme and the rest of them. Knowing how they think of Ezra, how they think of you, it makes you want to scream. You can’t subject him to their scorn and disdain, you won’t. You’d rather spend All Hallows Eve at home. 

And then there’s that little part of you. The one that knows it’s preposterous and downright idiotic yet still hopes that you can put the Halloween moon to good use. Ezra shut that down fast but, oh, how good would it feel for the funny little witch to give them all the middle finger? . 

“I’m just not in the spirit,” you say. 

“Well it won’t feel like All Hallows Eve without you,” she sighs. 

“I know,” you say. There’s a lump in your throat. You’ve never been apart from her for Samhain. There are countless warm memories of Halloweens past. When Margot got you your very first cauldron. The taste of pumpkin pie. The year of the freak snowstorm. 

With another sigh and the jingle of her bracelets, Margot pulls you into an embrace. The smell of vetiver hangs off her hair and you breathe it in deeply. 

“I’ll light a candle for you,” she promises. 

“Thanks,” you say. 

“And I’m going to jinx River’s socks. They’ll be damp for a month,” she says. 

You laugh. 

The horn of her car beeps and you break the hug to see Percy appear at the top of the steering wheel. 

“He’s worried about the traffic on the Thruway,” she tells you. “I’m coming!”

“Take care of her,” she says to Ezra, petting along his jaw

He nods. 

When Margot’s tail lights disappear down the street, you sit beside Ezra on the front steps. 

“You could go,” he says. 

“I made the right choice,” you say, stroking down the shiny fur on his back. 

“So what now?” he asks. 

“I don’t know. I've always wanted to go trick or treating,” you say. 

“That’s blasphemy, little mage,” Ezra quips. 

— 

Ezra holds you in his arms. Human arms. Your skin is warm against his as you lay tangled together. The morning light catches on the prism beads you have hanging in your bedroom window, little rainbows dancing across the walls and rumpled bedspread.  His lips brush across your forehead, leaving a ghost of a kiss at your hairline. You sigh dreamily and your fingertips graze his bare chest. You‘re just barely awake when you turn your face up to him, your eyes warm like you missed him while you were sleeping. He greets you with a kiss, your lips opening to him with a low hum. His fingers tangle with yours as the grasp the spindles in the headboard. 

His name comes out of you in a gasp of breath. 

He’s had these dreams for years but they’ve been happening almost every night since you showed him that spell. Sometimes passionate– your thighs opening as he explores your body— but just as often innocuous. Picking flowers in the meadow by his boyhood home. Bringing you tea as you read on the porch swing. 

Each dream is so alluring, even the most banal, he wakes up with the words on the tip of his tongue, ready to ask you to risk it all and turn him. 

You haven’t brought it up again in the weeks since you set that spellbook in front of him. Maybe you thought better of it. Maybe you were just angry. You told him about your spat with River and, while it touched him that you’d come to his defense, he knew it was an impulsive choice. 

Either way, it’s for the best.

It wouldn’t end well. Of course, you’d be putting yourself at risk. He’d made that very clear to you. There are a thousand other reasons why it shouldn’t be done. He’s probably forgotten how to be human and what he would do with himself in this day and age, he has no idea. The only job experience he’s had in the past two hundred years is rat catching.

The logistics of being a human matter little to him, though. His real concern is with you.

He’ll no longer be your companion. You won’t scratch behind his ears, invite him to lay in your lap. You’ll probably expect him to move on and live the life he’s always wanted. He can’t think of one that doesn’t involve you.

At least as a cat, he never has to know if you’d choose another man over him.

He’s laying awake, pondering this once again, when your eyes crack open. Warm mid morning light pours in through the lace curtains, bathing you in a honeyed glow. With Margot out of town and the store closed, the two of you had been on your own, spending the previous dsy together. A walk in the woods, a visit to the coffee shop where other patrons greeted Ezra with friendly scritches. You bailed on plans with the mortal Connor to watch movies and snuggle Ezra on the couch. It should have been enough, that’s what he thought when the credits rolled and you were snoring on the couch, your fingers buried in his scruff. He could share a lifetime of this with you and be grateful for it. But he was greedy. 

”Happy Halloween,” you say. 

You pull him close and he nuzzles into your warm skin. 

“You were in my dream,” you say. Your voice is still rough from sleep, still somewhere far away like you haven’t fully regained consciousness. 

Ezra’s cheeks heat under his fur. It’s not just the raspiness of your throat but his shame. If only you knew what he’d been dreaming about. 

“I was doing that spell. To change you,” you say. 

“I would’ve hoped for something more scintillating.” He plays it off as a joke. 

You huff a laugh and rest your wrist across your forehead, eyes cast towards the ceiling. “Right when you turned I woke up,” you say. 

Ezra doesn’t want to admit it— that he was thinking about that very spell, that he wants your dream to be a premonition. Witches have been known to have those. No, that’s wishful thinking. 

He gets to his feet and stretches out. 

“What a pity you missed my face. I can’t quite remember my own countenance,” he says. 

You sigh with exasperation. “I think it’s a sign,” you say.

“Our dreams are just that,” he tells you.

“Not this one. It wasn’t just a dream,” you insist. You sit up on your elbows meeting his eye with eagerness. “I can do it.”

“I told you—“

“Ezra, I want to do it,” you say with finality. “I want you to be human again.”

He grits his teeth. If he was capable of crying, he might after hearing your words, seeing that resolution in your expression. It takes all of his strength to not just give in and say yes. You know the reasons why it shouldn’t be done and he can’t tell you the ones that make him hesitant.

“You would turn me knowing how much more capable I am of violence? I might be declawed but I will be far more dangerous as man than beast.,” he asks. It still weighs on him even though it’s been weeks since the equinox and it seems you’ve all but forgotten it.

“I trust you,” you say. There’s a tenderness in your eyes that makes Ezra’s heart swell. 

He knows you mean it. You shouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve to be trusted, to be loved by you. He was never a good man, never stood up for anyone else. And it’s that very reason that’s had his mind in knots. He’s selfish. He wants this chance. 

Maybe, maybe you’ll give him the same look as a human and he can love you back the way he’s always wanted. 

“Besides, I know how to defend myself,” you say with a grin. 

That’s his little mage. 

“Very well,” he says. “I’m ready.”

–

You light the final candles on the oak table. The basement is illuminated by the dim glow of candles. You’ve spent the whole day down here with Ezra readying everything for the moon of All Hallows Eve.

Luckily Aunt Margot will be gone for the week so you don’t have to worry about interruptions. You’re not sure how she’ll react but right now, frankly, you don’t care. This is the right thing to do, you keep telling yourself. It’s justice. It’s not about the thrill you feel now, butterflies in your belly. 

You’ve daydreamed about it and after last night’s dream, your imagination feels closer than ever There’s no good picture in your mind of what Ezra will be like but his looks aren’t important. You can’t wait to do normal things with him. What will it be like to get a coffee with Ezra? To do rituals together at Ostara. To hear his old stories again, made new by his facial expressions. 

He’s quiet, nervous you’re sure, beside your cauldron. His golden eyes flit from the flames to the spellbook to the darkened window. Your excitement cools and suddenly you’re worried that your enthusiasm got the better of you. Had you pressured him into agreeing to this? He’s still your familiar after all, bound to serve you.

You kneel at the edge of the table.

“Are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to,” you say.

“As long as you’re certain you’re willing to take on the risks,” he tells you.

You nod.

“Very well,” he says.

You look at one another for a long time, both knowing that this will be the last time things are the same. You memorize everything about him, his elegant face, the whiskers beside his little black nose, the streak of white fur above his eye. This is your Ezra, will always be even if he doesn’t exist in this form. You wish you could thank him for everything he’s done for you but the words are stuck in your throat. It won’t do to start crying now when you need to focus and recite the incantation clearly.

“I love you, Ezra,” you manage.

He responds with a long, slow blink and you kiss his forehead.

The potion is murky and thick as you ladle it into a dish. Ezra recoils when you place it in front of him. 

“Smells like piss,” he says with a wince before lapping it up. A shiver runs over his body, down the length of his tail. “Tastes like it.”

He leaps onto the table and settles at the center of the carved pentagram.

“Work your magic, little mage,” he says.

This is it. It’s all laid out just like your dream but you’re still anxious. There’s no room for error.

With a deep breath, you straighten your back and begin to say the words. You read them countless times throughout the day, memorizing each verse so that it can flow from your heart to your tongue. As each one leaves your mouth, you visualize them on the page. Magic begins to stir in you, a tingle beneath your skin.

Ezra lays on his belly, his eyes drifting close, paws outstretched towards you. 

You shut your eyes tight and focus your energy, like a beam of pure magic directed towards him and say the words again.You think about him, really envision his details down to the hair. Memories flood you. Ezra rubbing up on the old books in the store. His soft purrs against your chest when your heart felt heavy. The time he slipped on the edge of the tub and fell into your bath. The love you feel for him radiates in your chest all the way to your fingertips.

You’re squeezing all of it palms, every drop of energy within you aimed at Ezra. A vibration, an earthquake. 

You say the words a final time. 

Lightheaded. Breathless. Exhausted. 

Your eyes flutter open.

Ezra lays on the table just as you left him. Unchanged.

“No.” The word slips from your mouth nothing more than a whisper.

Ezra blinks, looking down at his black paws.

You see his shoulders sag and a long moment passes as he gathers himself before looking at you.

It doesn’t make sense. You did everything right, just as you’d seen in your sleep. You’ve never cast with such fervor. 

“Okay,” you say, swallowing hard around a sob. “We’ll do it again. The moon will be higher.” You can hear your own desperation, voice shaking as you try not to lose faith.

Ezra slowly sits himself up.

“Maybe you need more potion,” you suggest.

“No, little mage,” he says, resigned. 

“Ez–” You’ve failed him. Your chest burns, tears brim in your eyes.It feels like you might collapse from the exertion and sheer heartbreak that’s overwhelming you.

“It’s alright. I’ve been a cat for more than a few years. And so I shall remain,” he says.

🐈‍⬛

Part 4

Again, it would really make my day to hear from you if you've come this far! My asks and dms are always open!

[myimaginarywonderland]

I truly want Eddie and Buck to fight.

Mainly because I have wanted Buck to blow up at someone from the 118 for years. I get that apparently there were off-screen apologies but the way every single member treated Buck when he got a lawyer, the way everyone has dismissed Buck's trauma before that, the way Buck was literally punshed by Chim, the way Buck's has (nearly) died multiple times and the trauma of that is never really acknowledged, the way Buck was sexually assaulted and everyone joked about it, the way Buck has had so much shit just put on him unknowingly sometimes by them, yes, I want Buck to snap.

I want Buck to finally stand up to someone and tell them that it's not okay, that what he went through wasn't okay and that he needed his family with him when they weren't.

I need Buck to finally see "I deserved better" and have someone show him he deserves better (aka Tommy.)

I need someone to finally be in Buck's corner, to tell him that what he went through wasn't okay and that he doesn't need to get over it because you just don't get over some traumas.

I need Buck to finally have a moment where he is allowed to be angry, where he is allowed to feel his emotions, where he is allowed to hurt and someone is immediately there to catch him, to be beside him.

I need Buck to finally be allowed to be proud of his work, to finally understand how much he has done as a firefighter when he didn't even have to, to understand that he can be more, that he is allowed to want more.

I need Buck to finally be allowed to go on a pathway up the FD ladder because he deserves it, he has earned himself the opportunity to get a chance to prove himself.

I need this season to finally lay the groundwork to Buck's full potential as a character, as a love interest, as firefighter. I need this to be the start of his true growth where he is finally allowed to want things and to get the things, the happy ending, that he always wanted for himself.

I need this to be a turning point for Buck where we finally see him settle into himself and I truly believe that for that to start he needs to let go of some unspoken things, he needs to be allowed to feel and to be angry at his family without knowing if he will have support.

And I need Buck to be the one to finally make Eddie realise how incredibly toxic and dangerous his behaviour is because no one else will probably get through to him. I also need Buck to understand that healing Eddie, that helping Eddie, can only go so far and that this is something that he can't fix because it's not his to fix.

I need Buck, the one person who always wants to help, who does everything to help, who will do anything to try to fix something, I need that Buck to be held and to be told that not everyone can accept his help. I need that Buck to be loved while someone tells him that Buck matters too, that Buck can not destroy himself for someone who might not even be ready to heal. I need Evan, the kid who always felt like something was wrong and that he had to make up for it, to be looked at and to be promised that he is enough, that just being him is enough and that he doesn't need to be more than that.

And yeah, if I think that Tommy can do that, then yeah, I need Tommy to be there while Buck is slowly realising that he matters too, that he deserves to be happy too.

[wanderingsoul6261]

Credit for gif goes to userbeaufort

James Beaufort x Reader

Title: Distracted

Synopsis: James and Reader have an argument after she feels that he is being too overprotective. She gets injured during a volley ball game and he comforts and apologizes.

Warnings: mentions of blood/wounds

Sorry if volley ball is described inaccurately in the brief moment it's discussed. Last fic for about 24 to 48 hours. Decided to take some time off to rest up. Sinus infection had gotten worse. My ears are plugged and hurt. I have about 8 to 9 more requests, so more is definitely coming.

The fight that they had was just full of nonsense. At least, that was in regards to Y/N’s own opinions. James felt as if he was in the right, only wanting what was best for his girlfriend. He just wanted to make sure that she was safe. He thought that he was being overprotective. Y/N thought that it was that with a hint of jealousy. It was known though that neither of them could come to agreement on what it actually was. 

“Can you stop breathing down my neck, just for twenty four hours?” Y/N raised her voice slightly, turning to look at James. He had been following her around, making sure that she was okay and safe. She felt suffocated though, that if he continued to stick around that she would die due to lack of oxygen. 

“I just want to know that you are okay. Is that too much to ask for?” 

“Yea. It is actually, because if you stick around any longer, I might get arrested and charged with murder!” James paused his steps and stared at her. Confusion and slight anger was portrayed on his face. 

“What is your problem?” He asked. Y/N turned around, looking at him as if he just slapped her. And he might as well just have. 

“What is my problem? It’s you, James.” Now it was his turn to act as if he had just been slapped. James took a staggered step back, a look entirely of hurt and confusion the only thing to be seen on his face. 

“What?” Y/N had almost felt guilty, seeing the blow that she had just landed, even if she knew that all that he wanted to know was that she was safe. Instead, she had only stood her ground and raised her chin slightly in defiance. 

“You heard me.The problem is you.” James didn’t know how to react, and if they weren’t currently in the situation that they were in, Y/N might have felt proud to have put James in the state that he was currently in. “You’re suffocating me. I feel like I can’t breathe. I take a few steps in any direction and I’m knocking myself into you. And it’s constant, James. It’s like you’re being some possessive boyfriend. What’s next? You are going to start dictating who I can or can’t be friends with?” James did say anything. Honestly, he didn’t have much to say, so he only remained standing, averting his eyes from her gaze and looking anywhere else. His jaw clenched, but he knew that he couldn’t be mad at anyone but himself, even if he was angry at the current way she was speaking to him. 

“What?” Y/N questioned. “Cat got your tongue?” And just like that, James was gone, turning around on his heel and stomping down the hall. Y/N had felt nasty for the way that she had just treated him, but she also knew that she had to make her voice heard. She felt that there was no other way for her to have accomplished it in any other way than in that moment. 

—-

It had been a few days since the two of them had talked. Y/N had rightfully been angry and James himself had rightfully, even if he had deserved it, been upset and hurt. They had both mutually agreed that it was best to give each other some time to cool down and relax. The last thing that either one of them had wanted to do was come back and say anything that would be highly regretted. Not that Y/N didn’t already regret the way she snapped at James. She had honestly wished that she could just go back and choose a better way to have got about it. 

But the damage had been done, and the only thing that she could do now was wait until he had cooled down enough to talk.

In the meantime, Y/N had a volleyball game to prepare for in a few days, and she would be lying if she said that she was good to play. Even if it happened a few days ago, the argument was still fresh in her mind, and had been affecting her ability to focus well enough on the task of the game. 

No matter what happened, she could never stop thinking about him. 

Y/N had wondered if she should check in with them, considering their lack of conversations over the past few days. Her friends would easily tell her no and to let him stew in the moment. A few of them had even gone as far as to tell her to give him hints that she wanted to break it off, because it would quote, light a fire under his ass, unquote. But Y/N couldn’t do it. She wasn’t that brutal. However, she didn’t want to back out on her defense, knowing that her feelings were justified, and she didn’t want to do anything that might suggest otherwise. 

That didn’t change the amount of times that her finger hovered over the send buttons to numerous different messages. 

Im sorry 

Love you

I hope you are doing okay. Let’s talk soon. 

One of them consisted of just heart emojis. There were even times messages consisted of a mixture of those messages. 

Even as the volley game against a rival college was about to start, Y/N was doing just that. She sat on a bench in the locker room, biting her nail as she tried to make up her mind on whether or not to send the message. Y/N wasn’t even sure if he would show up tonight. 

I don’t know if you plan on coming to the game tonight. But I think we should talk soon. Y F/L/M initials 

She let out a heavy sigh, running her hand through her hair, finally pressing send. And then she waited for several moments, waiting to see if he would open and read it. When ten minutes passed and she was finally being yelled at for not being on the court yet, she figured that he was probably still mad at her. 

Y/N tossed her phone into her gym bag, leaving it at that. Which obviously, with the continued emotions only adding to inability to play the game. She should have told her coach, but yet, here she was, running out of the locker room and onto the court, her mind filled to the brim with thoughts and questions, and ultimately, him. 

The game though had surprisingly started out pretty okay. They were almost done with their first set when Y/N saw James walk into the gymnasium. They locked eyes momentarily, her heart fluttering. He showed her his phone, likely telling her that he had seen her message. But he still didn’t look too enthused. She swallowed thickly, turning back to the game when her name was called. The ball was just over her, and she jumped, spiking the ball over the net, scoring a point for Maxton Hall. 

As the team captain, she knew she had to keep her mind distraction free, but it was definitely easier said than done. They couldn’t do well if she wasn’t there. But even with that thought in mind, she still wasn’t doing well enough. Halfway through the game as a whole, everything in her mind, thinking about the argument, about him, and what might come of them after the game had gotten too much. 

She had the space and time to dive for the ball in front of her, hitting it up and over the net just in time before it hit the ball, none of the other girls close enough to hit it, They couldn’t take the risk. So she dove, and in the end, she almost wished that she didn’t. 

No matter what she did, she couldn’t stop herself from cracking her face against the floor. She laid there for what seemed like several minutes and wasn’t even sure if she hit the ball over the net. Instead, she heard the crowd murmuring silently, her teammates coming over to check on her. 

She lifted her head off the floor. Y/N saw the blood. She brought her hand to the left side of her face, feeling the wetness of the blood and gingerly touching the outline of a gash. Her head snapped up to meet James’ own panicked look. He was standing up from his seat, watching her, his eyes wide. It only took a few more seconds and her coach pressed a towel to the side of her head for him to come running down. Her ears were ringing by the time he made it to them. 

She watched as he spoke to her couch,  but her mind was so fuzzy that she couldn’t exactly find it in herself to make out what was being said. 

And then James was escorting her out of the school and towards Percy, where he was waiting for them. One arm was wrapped around her waist while the other was pressed to the towel currently on the wound. 

“We have to take her to the hospital, Percy. Nasty little cut on her forehead.” James spoke to his chauffeur as the two of them slid into the car. As the car got moving, the two sat in silence for several moments. 

“My phone is in my gym bag. Can you tell my parents where we are going?” she asked. He passed his phone to her, but as she grabbed it, he replaced his phone with his hand. 

“I want to say I’m sorry.” he spoke softly. Y/N looked at him in shock. “I shouldn’t have been acting the way that I was. It wasn’t right of me. I know you can look after yourself.” James turned his head to look at her. His eyes glanced at the place where the towel sat. 

“I should be the one apologizing.” His eyes snapped back to her. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way that I did. I know that you only want what is best for me, and snapping at you the way that I did wasn’t the best way to show my appreciation, no matter how mad I was.” Y/N explained. “I just hope that we can fix this and use it moving forward in our relationship as a reminder. That is, if you want.” 

“If I want? Just because we had an argument doesn’t mean you’re getting free of me.” He joked, a smile gracing his lips. “It’s only one of many that we will have in the coming future. Arguments aren’t avoidable.” Y/N gave him a smile, leaning into him. She went to press a kiss to his cheek, but he had turned his head enough to make her lips land on his own. They leaned into it, and Y/N could feel a cheeky smile grace his lips. 

When they pulled away, Y/N held his gaze. 

“Promise?” His cheeky smile turned into a soft one. 

“Promise.” 

taglist: @honethatty12 @lifeonawhim @ashamedtobewhitemanswhore27 @maryvibess @wheredidmyeyesgo @imasimptoowth @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

[brucewaynehater101]

About Tim's kill count: I think Tim tries really hard to be okay with murder. He's accepted that's something other vigilantes do, that sometimes it's the most practical answer. He knows that self defense is a thing, when it's you or them... Well, no one can be blamed for choosing themselves over a villain. He is the smart, logical Robin. He can be rational about murder. Stars know someone has to, and B is too much of an emotional mess when it comes to that particular subject.

So when Tim has to blow up Ra's bases, he tries really hard to be okay with it. He gave them a three minute warning (it's not much, but he knows how fast they are), so technically it's not like it's his fault if they decided to stay. He had to do it, it wasn't even just self defense, he had a civilian hostage to take into account. It was the only logical solution that allowed him to save Batman too. So yeah, he knows his reasoning was completely sound despite the circumstances. Honestly, he deserves Kudos for not losing it considering the amount of stress he was under and the fact he nearly died and lost an organ.

So yeah, he is pretty sure he's okay with it. He knows that if Batman ever truly catches up un his RR reports of that time he's not gonna be happy. He figures he can deal with that (he can't, he can barely deal with his own guilt. Deep down he knows he'll collapse like a wet napkin).

But instead of Batman the one to confront him is Jason having heard from Talia or finding the evidence on an outlaws' mission. And Tim is relieved because this should be easy. Not only is he a master manipulator: Jason is okay with murder, extremely emotional and still feels guilty about Titan's Tower. He's not even on talking terms with B. Tim has the upper hand in this encounter.

Cue to Jason's pov and it's just so painfully obviously that Tim is trying to rationalize the guilt away. Jason doesn't know whether to acknowledge it (the kid looks like he needs to actually talk about it, sue him) or to let him be delusional for a bit longer. He isn't the biggest expert on healthy but that doesn't look like it.

Tim succeeds in getting him to promise he won't tattle to Bruce, and is really proud of himself for handling the situation. Jason is now panicking thinking about what would Bruce do if he finds out (Tim doesn't know the extent of Batman's reaction to Jason killing at first).

(I got a little carried away with the idea of Tim being convinces he's okay with murder and Jason, who is pro murder for certain people, seeing right through him like "Oh honey")

Oh!!! I've seen some fics that cover what would happen if the Bats found out about Tim's kill count or the bases, but I haven't really seen ones with dark/abusive Bruce.

Tw: abuse, murder

Here's what I'm thinking:

Jason is fantastic for being the first to find out. He'd be supportive, understanding, and non-judgemental. He'll have no moral issues with murder. Perhaps he could have some mental breakdowns on the fact his younger brother had to resort to that or the high number of deaths or that someone younger than him had to stain their hands (which could also lead into him finally processing Damian's kills as well), but he wouldn't have any issues with Tim commiting murder.

Then we contrast that with Dick. He doesn't blame Tim. He's fiercely protective of his brother and will beat up anyone who gives Tim shit for it. On the other hand, he does have moral issues with murder. He'd probably have an internal debate with himself. He wants to support Tim, but the kid killed so many people (in this AU). Tim killed in self-defense. Dick has a particular understanding due to his time as a cop, but his vigilante rules have always contrasted with his cop ones (not just killing. Breaking laws, how civilians are treated, who your "allies" are, and whether you can trust your coworkers to do what's right). He's devastated that Tim was in that position and blames himself (maybe even takes those deaths upon his own moral conscience).

Both of them love, care, and support Tim in this. They also have very different ideas about murder.

Tim is also trying very hard to deny to himself how much death is actually on his hands. He's struggling to pretend he's fine and trying to logically convince himself that the deaths are acceptable.

In this AU, Bruce obviously flips the fuck out and acts like a piece of shit. Feel free to hc how far he takes that shit.

However, this has important ramifications against Damian. Whatever his feelings are about Tim at this point, watching his father abuse a kid he adopted (and considers his own) for the sin of killing? For self-defense? What if Damian ever kills again? Would Bruce react the same? What if there was no other choice? Also, does this mean that his father will never truly love him? Will his past always be held over Damian's head? Will Bruce ever forgive him? Is his father's love conditional? To add on, Damian has complicated feelings about LoA as well. He'd need to process the extreme destruction Tim enacted against the LoA. Just Damian having mental breakdowns.

Cass's confliction with murder and her love for Tim could also be added into this. I don't know much about the arc where she becomes a villain, but that would add to her turmoil.

Now, Alfred is a confusing one. How dedicated is he to Bruce? Is this the characterization where he sasses the man, not so subtly hides his guns around the Manor, and will stand up to the man? Or is this the one who will follow Bruce's lead even if it means psychologically torturing his grandkid? Is he somehow both at the same time? Can the kids trust Alfred to protect them or choose them over Bruce?

Babs would be protecting Tim (and the others in their support of Tim) to the best of her ability. In my mind, she's chill about murder due to her dad being a cop and her working with murderers (like Harley). She'd run interference to protect Tim until Bruce finds out, and then she'd be trying to get him away from Bruce.

Anyways, I'd love to see all of the characters, their feelings/experiences, and the conflict expanded on.

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

EXTRA HOT REUNION

Han x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist.

Synopsis: You and Han are having a Too Hot To Handle reunion to catch up on the life after the retreat (7k words)

Author's note: Just a reason to use THEE Han Jisung pic hehehe

HOST: Welcome back to the Too Hot To Handle Extra Hot reunion episode. Now, on my virtual sofa is a pair who actually managed to keep their hands to themselves, well, most of the time. Before we meet them, let's have a look at their time in the villa!

[VIDEO PLAYS]

HOST: Here they are, everyone! The winner of Too Hot To Handle season 3! [Applauds]

YOU: [Squeals] Hi! HAN: [Waves hand]

HOST: First, congratulations on winning Too Hot To Handle. I literally jumped on my seat when you were announced winners. What have you done with the money?

HAN: I spoiled my family with the money and shortly, after the retreat, we also took a vacation to celebrate our win [grins]

HOST: How about you, my darling?

YOU: The same for me. I treated my mom to a shopping spree and went out with some friends.

HOST: Honestly guys, I was genuinely happy for you both when Han, you asked her to be your girlfriend.

HAN: I owe that one to her, actually.

YOU: No, really. The way you've done it was just perfect [smiles]

HAN: She thought I was joking though [chuckles]

YOU: Obviously, because we joked around a lot and we talked about things then suddenly he asked me to be his girlfriend so I was like what? And he was like 'I'm serious' and my eyes got teary a bit [laughs]

YOU: It was lovely [smiles]

HOST: I'm holding myself back from asking this question but I think we all want to know if you are still together.

HAN: [Laughs]

YOU: [Laughs] No, we're not.

HOST: [Frowns] How did it end? What happened? Talk to me, guys.

YOU: We got used to each other, we always had each other and were with each other every day during the retreat, and then suddenly, nothing at all.

HAN: Yeah.

YOU: It was just really hard but we stayed in contact. We still text each other every other day, FaceTime.

HAN: Yeah [Nods]

YOU: And we're still close, it's still us [Smiles]

HOST: Flabbergasted. Completely flabbergasted. It's almost like... you started as friends, developed and blossomed, got in a relationship and you guys went on a vacation together then... you guys become friends again?

HAN: Yeah [laughs]

YOU: [Laughs]

HOST: Is it completely dead though? Cause I still can see the chemistry there, I'm not going to lie. Han close your ears because I'm going to ask the girl first.

HAN: [Covers ears]

HOST: My darling, will you ever get back with Han

YOU: [Sheepishly smiles] I don't know. I haven't been dating in a long time so you never know what could happen.

HOST: Okay girl, now it's your turn to cover your ears.

YOU: Okay [covers ears]

HOST: Han, will you ever get back with her?HAN: Can't say anything [chuckles] because I haven't seen her in a while but who knows? [Shrugs]

HAN: But we shared such an incredible journey and we'll always be able to celebrate that so who knows, really.

HOST: Well, I think you guys are well-deserved winners.

HAN: Thank you!

HOST: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me.

YOU: Thank you. Bye [blows kisses]

HAN: [Waves hand]

-

A MONTH LATER

Maybe it is what it seems to be.

Han invited you to see him performing and that's all, you shouldn't be overthinking it. It's just a friendly gesture because that's what you are now, just a friend to him.

Why you dressed nicely is because you wanted to look good and why you're nervous is because you haven't seen him in a while, these are all reasonable.

You arrived at the bar where he's going to perform a few minutes late, not sure what to do first, get a drink or try to find him first?

Since you need a little liquor courage, you head to the bar to order a drink and on the way there, you walk past the way to the restroom and it gets you wondering if you should check for your appearance first.

There you go, you overthinking it again. You get a hold of yourself and go with your initial plan to get a drink first. The bartender is busy tending to the other customers so you have time to pick your concoction, rubbing your lips as you think hard over drinks.

After a while, the bartender finally comes to take your order and you haven't settled on a drink yet.

"I'd have uhm... a vodka soda," you settle on a drink.

"You only drink Cosmopolitan on a vacation, huh?" Someone says.

You turn on your feet to see that it's him, Han. He looks the same yet different at the same time, but you can't quite put a finger on what makes him different.

"You came!" He says with a bright smile.

"Like I wouldn't miss the chance to see you embarrass yourself on stage," you jokingly say, welcoming him for a hug.

He puts his arms around you and gives you a tight hug, along with a kiss on your cheek. He then slowly pulls away but keeps his hand resting on the small of your back.

"Your drink is here," he tells you.

"Thank you," you quickly mutter to the bartender.

As you take a sip of your drink, you notice that his hair is longer and somehow, it's making him cuter than he already is.

"Your hair," you point out.

He reaches for it and gives it a quick ruffle, "I permed it. Do you like it?"

It's endearing that he still asks for your opinion, you nod and say, "Yeah. I like it."

Then you have another look at him, paying attention to how he dressed tonight in blue jeans and a black shirt that loosely hangs on his broad shoulders, this ensemble with the permed hair gives him that edge. Also, reminds you of someone.

"Hate to tell you that you'll never be Asher," you joke to him.

"Ouch!" He gasps with his hand clutching his chest.

With his hand that still lingers on your back, he's pulling you to the side to avoid people passing by.

"I'll never be as cool as him," he meekly says.

You place your hand on his forearm and look at him, "And Asher will never be as cute as you," you say with a flirtatious eyebrow raise.

He drops his hand to catch yours in his and holds it, "Glad to know I'm still the cutest."

Cute guys are your weakness and Han with his gummy smile is going to send you to your death. Maybe you were right to overthinking it, maybe it's more than just an invitation to see him perform, maybe there's... something else.

"Two shots, please?" He orders to the bartender.

The bartender comes with the drinks right away, serving two shots on a small tray and slides it across the counter at Han.

"Double shots, huh?" You say as you notice his drinks.

"The other one is for you," he simply says, putting a glass into your hand.

"But I–I already have a drink," you stammer, quickly putting down your other drink on the counter.

"Oh, come on! You're not going to let me have a shot by myself," he grumbles, linking his arm around you by the elbow for a love shot.

You have no other option but to cave in, better get it over with before anyone in the bar notices what the two of you are doing.

"I hope you break a leg," you mutter as a toast.

"Figuratively," he adds with a grin.

Signaling each other through eyes, you both tilt your heads as you take the shots in one go and gasp from the bitter aftertaste almost at the same time.

"I needed that," Han says as he takes a sip of your drink to help wash it down.

Someone from the other side of the bar is calling for him and Han raises his hand to let him know that he heard him. He turns back at you and awkwardly smiles, "I have to go to do uh... soundcheck," he says.

"Yeah, you should go," you coyly say but you're reluctant to let his hand go.

He looks at you with glints in his eyes, reminding you of what the two of you had been and could have been if you stayed together after taking that vacation together.

"Uhm... I hope you endure the whole time I'm on that stage," he playfully says.

"Don't worry. I'll be booing loudly for you," you joke.

"I'll see you later, yeah?"

You nod with a smile on your face.

He pulls you close before finally letting go of your hand and turns away, heading toward the stage until he disappears behind the big curtain.

Knowing that the performance is about to start, the crowd moving toward the stage and leaving the stools around the counter unoccupied, you waste no time sitting on one.

"Am I late?" Someone says.

You thought you were hearing a stranger's conversation until you feel a hand on your shoulder and you turn your head to the side to see a familiar face.

"Oh, my God! Avery?" You gasp in surprise.

Avery's smile hasn't changed a bit, it's bright and warm, so welcoming. She doesn't hesitate to throw her arms around you and pulls you into an ecstatic hug.

Once you pull away from the hug, you immediately take a step back to take a good look at her and her appearance doesn't change much except that her hair is now in a shade of lighter blond.

"It's unfair that you're only getting more beautiful and here I am..." you sigh in sheer envy and a fake snide smile.

"No..." she hastily denies with her Australian accent and holds both of your hands in hers, "You look amazing!"

"Even if you're lying, I'd still believe you," you jokingly say.

"I'm being honest!" She assures you.

"Are you meeting someone in here or...?"

"Han didn't tell you I was coming? Oh, that guy," she sighs with an adorable pout.

For what other reason did she come here, unless it was coincidental, then it means Han invited her too. Your heart sank and you blame yourself for having your hopes up, there's nothing else here but a friendly gathering.

"How are you?" Avery asks.

"I'm great," you shortly reply, "What about you?"

You quickly put on a smile and answer all of her questions, asking the same thing back to catch up on things.

"Let's get you a drink, shall we?" you say since you also need a refill then you raise your hand to get the bartender's attention.

"Appletini, please?" She tells the bartender her drink order and then fixes her hair which is flowing down her back in soft waves.

Avery is effortlessly beautiful, the kind of girl who doesn't need to try hard to look that good, and the guy standing next to her who's been staring at her nonstop is proof of it.

"So where is the charming guy?" She asks, turning on her seat facing you.

You reckon what she means as the charming guy is Han and he'd be jumping in joy if he knew Avery called him a charming guy.

"He got called to the backstage. I think it's about to start any minute now," you answer.

Avery finally notices the guy who's been ogling at her and flashes him a smile, just enough to make him go berserk. She giggles in reaction and turns her attention back to you.

"Watches the reunion show and bummed to know that you guys broke up," Avery says.

A moment later, she suddenly grabs your elbow, "Please tell me that you guys played a prank on us and still secretly dating each other!"

You awkwardly chuckle and mindlessly stir your drink with your straw, "Trust me, if we were still dating, I wouldn't let him invite you tonight," you half-jokingly say.

Avery almost chokes on her drink hearing that, she gently wipes her mouth with a napkin and tries not to ruin her glossy lips. She opens her mouth to say something but someone checks the mic on the stage, causing a high-pitched feedback that echoes in the room.

Not long after the MC introduces the list of performers for tonight, Han finally enters the spotlight and slings his guitar strap around him, he says a few things to everyone in the room before starts playing his guitar.

Before this, you've only seen him performing through videos so that makes this the first time you watch him live and it's a whole different experience. You get to hear him sing, hear every strum of his guitar and if you ignore the other people in the room, you're also sharing this moment with him.

Another thing that makes it different is the subtle eye contact he's making at you and there is a chance that he may be looking at someone else, but delusional or not, you get that fluttering feeling.

It's the way he's immersed himself in his singing, the way he stands so nonchalantly yet oozing with charisma, the way he engages with everyone in the room, the way his hand grips the neck of the guitar that reminds you—

Before your mind wanders too far off, you take a big gulp of your drink and you wince at how the alcohol burns the back of your throat.

"Oh, my God! He's so cool," Avery says with her vivacious smile.

You almost forgot her presence and the fact that she's the girl Han initially crushed on, and probably still crushing on. It won't be a surprise if that's also the reason why he invited her.

"Yeah, he's cool," you say back and take another gulp of your drink.

You hate to hate Avery because she doesn't deserve the hate in the first place so you try not to let your negative thoughts get in the way of your friendship, especially over a boy.

In the last song, Han plays one of his songs that you know by heart. You sing along to his singing and notice that Avery is also doing the same, you put your arm around her to sing it out loud together against the loud crowd in the bar.

-

The crowd scatters around as they wait for the next performer while you stay where you are with Avery, waiting for Han with another round of drinks. As you laugh over Avery's joke, he finally appears in your line of sight, sucking on a bottle of water.

Avery turns around on her stool to see him and immediately jumps down to give him a hug, "That was incredible, Han!"

"Thank you!" Han awkwardly says, a little surprised by her hug.

You've been with Han long enough to know what the big grin on his face means and it means he doesn't mind any of that.

"And what do you think?" He asks you.

"That was really great!" You genuinely compliment him with a smile.

He brightly smiles and then brushes his damp hair to the back, exposing the sheen of sweat covering his forehead. You hurriedly take a napkin from the bartender's counter but Avery gets ahead of you.

All of sudden, Avery links her arm with Han then links her other arm with yours which forces you to get off your stool.

"You know what, guys? Drinks on me tonight," she says with a sly smile on her face.

"Are we celebrating something?" You curiously ask.

She looks at you with a pout, "I'm just so happy to see you guys," she simply answers.

You feel bad for asking and feel bad for letting her treat you when you should be the one treating her, you won the prize money after all.

"And I want to get you two drunk," she adds with a devilish laugh.

"That's a great idea! I'm in," Han agrees but he's looking at you as if he seeks your approval.

Eventually, the two team up and begin making puppy eyes at you, making it hard for you to say no to them. You don't like getting drunk, it's the queasy feeling, the headache, the getting home, and the hangover. However, there's always an exception and tonight is one of them.

You lowly sigh because you'll regret it tomorrow, then say, "I say let's get wasted."

-

Avery takes you to a different bar a few blocks away from the previous one and her friend already has a table reserved for all of you. Apparently, this bar is quite popular and that explains why it's so crowded, and you hate being in a crowded place like this.

Thankfully, the table is on the quieter side of the bar. You take your jacket off before sitting on the sofa that faces each other with an elegant-looking glass table in the middle and it seems like Han is about to sit next to you but Avery's friend claimed it first.

"I'm Lucky," he introduces himself to you right away.

"Oh, are you?" You teasingly say with a sly grin.

Lucky laughs and does it attractively with eyes full of crinkles, "Well, I met you so I guess I am," he teases you back.

The whole time, Avery leads the conversation and always tries to get you involved in it. Then it hits you why guys like her, not only she's beautiful, but she knows how to keep people engaged either with eye contact or a slight touch, and she just knows how to keep things fun for everyone, those are things that can't be taught, she was born with it.

"My friend here is cute, isn't she?" Avery asks her guy friend.

Lucky looks at you while you're sipping your drink and the ice cubes hit your lips. You force on a smile as you wipe your cold and wet lips.

"An absolute lush to be honest," he says with a seductive smile.

And you can say the same thing about Lucky, he's tall, with dirty blond hair and tattooed hands, and he also has those stunning light blue eyes. Maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel like teasing him back.

"You're not so bad yourself," you jokingly say.

Avery laughs in amusement, enjoying the exchange between you and him. She refills everyone's glasses with more drinks while talking at the same time.

"The best part is she's single," Avery says.

Your eyes somehow dart to Han and you find his eyes are on you too, for a second, you both stare at each other until Lucky slowly leans in, getting Han out of your sight.

"Are you ready to mingle though?" He asks with a half-smirk that looks good on his angular face.

You prop a hand under your chin and pretend to think for a moment, then slowly turn your head his way to say, "Why don't you find out?"

The next thing you know, you're on the floor dancing with him and you don't even anxious about being in the crowd because you're busy enjoying yourself. However, constantly moving your body in not so much space gets you hot, you can feel a sheen of sweat forming on your back as you keep dancing.

"I need to go to the restroom," you whisper right into Lucky's ear as it is the only way he can hear you against the blaring music.

Following the sign, you push through the sea of people and head to the hallway that leads to the restroom. You take a moment to cool down, fixing your hair and tapping the back of your sweaty neck with cold water.

You take another look at yourself in the mirror before going out of the door. On the way back to the floor you catch Avery in the corner with someone, well, it doesn't make sense if anyone is not attracted to her until you identify that someone and it's Han.

They're standing facing each other and leaning in close whenever they talk, Avery laughs a few times while Han is continuously talking into her ear.

Knowing their history, it shouldn't surprise you that Han is probably still crushing on her. Again, Avery is undeniably attractive and you're just... you, so you understand that getting over his crush is not easy.

You shouldn't take this personally because he is not in a relationship with you. However, you've been getting this sinking feeling in your chest every time you see them together and it intensifies when you're watching them talking so close to each other.

Before either of them notices you, you make a turn to your booth and immediately collect your jacket and bag, you finish your glass of drink quickly and wince as it burns your throat.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," Lucky says.

You wipe your wet upper lip from drinking and force on a smile, "You know what, I just realized I have this... uh thing to do tonight," you made up something on the spot.

Lucky lets out an awkward chuckle, "All of a sudden?"

You put your jacket on first before answering, "Yeah, I... I have to go," you stammer.

"Like right now?" He asks with a perplexed expression.

"Yes," you hastily reply, grabbing the strap of your bag as you walk away.

You don't even know why you're in such a hurry that you forget your manner, you abruptly stop walking and turn around.

"It was nice meeting you, Lucky," you say with a smile.

You manage to not bump into Avery or Han on your way out, it's better that way. You plan on sending a text to Avery explaining your disappearance once you get on a taxi home.

You aggressively wave your hand to hail a taxi, wanting to get on one soon before any of them catch you leaving without saying anything.

Not long after, a taxi stops on the side of the road and you waste not another second to get into the backseat. As you're about to close the door, someone rushes in and sits next to you.

You roll your eyes once you realize who it is, "Why are you here?"

Han reclines on his seat and massages the bridge of his nose, "I think I'm drunk," he meekly answers.

First thing first, no drunk person is aware that they're drunk which means he's lying. You scoff as he keeps pretending to be drunk.

"Where to?" The taxi driver asks.

Since he's already inside the taxi, you can't force him to get off or even have the heart to push him out of the door so you decide to let it slide, then tell the driver where to go.

The whole taxi ride, you keep your arms crossed in front of you and look out of the window as the taxi glides through the city streets.

When you arrive, you hand the fare to the driver and get out of the taxi, all the while you're acting like Han isn't there. It doesn't take long for him to follow you out of the taxi and chase after you as you enter your apartment building.

"Why did you leave me?" He asks as he trails behind you.

"Obviously, you're not drunk and you can take care of yourself," you answer, starting to climb the stairs to get to the fourth floor.

"Why are you mad when you were the one leaving without telling me?" He asks again, also climbing the stairs two steps behind you.

"I have other things to do," you simply answer even though the other things you have to do are get home and sleep.

"You're lying," he says with a sigh.

"And you lied about being drunk too," you coyly say back.

That seems to shut him up for good but hearing the silence in reply makes you uneasy, you look over your shoulder to see him standing in the middle of the stairs looking up at you.

"I'm sorry I lied," he sincerely says.

That face... looking at that face makes you the slightest bit melting inside but you remain firm even though you're not sure with the reason why you're mad at him.

"Just go home," you tell him and continue walking up the last flight of stairs to your floor.

You start rummaging through your bag, searching for your keys inside as you walk to the door and are aware that Han is still following you.

"Can we talk?" He meekly asks.

"About what?"

"About everything," he answers.

"Well, I don't think we have the time to talk about everything," you detect the jingling sound of your keys and search for it with your hand without looking.

"About us?" He asks.

You let out a chuckle at that, "There's no 'us' to begin with."

After a minute of searching in the abyss that is your bag, you manage to successfully get it out and unlock the door to your apartment.

"Why are you like this?" He asks, his eyes wistfully looking at you.

To be honest, you have no idea either. You were so excited for tonight yet somehow, your mood significantly changed at the end of the night.

"All I wanted is to talk to you. Actually, that's what I've been trying to do the whole night."

You take your keys back and hold them, turning on your feet to face him, "If you wanted to talk to me, then why you brought someone else?"

This is your first mistake tonight, letting him know that you're upset about him inviting Avery. In your defense, you wouldn't be like this if he told you beforehand that his ultimate crush would be there too.

"So that's what this about? Avery?" He says with a sigh.

Han catches you clam up so there's no way of denying it, you turn the knob and push the door open, he stands in the doorway to keep you from closing it.

"I indeed invited her but it wasn't because I still like her or whatever it is you thought," he tells you.

You give him the chance to explain himself and stare at him, this way you can tell whether he's lying or telling the truth.

"And why is that?"

Han sighs, he then roughly brushes his permed hair, making it messier than before and you hate that he looks this good when you're mad at him.

"She was supposed to help me talk to you about something. But instead, she introduced you to this lucky guy," he says with a spiteful tone.

"Help you with what?" You curiously ask and urge him to answer by intensely glaring at him.

He bites his lower lip and sighs again, "Getting back together with you."

Everything you knew is far different from the reality of it and you almost let out a laugh at this newly acquired information. The whole thing is endearing yet annoying at the same time, you can't decide how to react to it

"Instead of doing that, she sets you up with Lucky," he cutely grumbles with his small mouth almost forming a pout.

"So you're jealous?" You coyly ask.

"Isn't it obvious?" He shortly answers with his mouth curling into a snarl.

He leans the side of his body against the doorway and looks at you, "So are you."

"What?" You defensively ask.

"You're jealous of Avery," he replies with a grin.

"No, I'm not," you deny with your foot slowly taking a step to the back.

"You lied again," he says with a pout.

"I'm not," you deny again while nervously chuckling.

Han boldly takes a step inside and closes the door behind him, he then stands with his back resting against the door just looking at you.

There's no one else in the room except you and him, it'd be less embarrassing to tell the truth. You swallow air and slowly exhale.

"Yeah, okay, I'm jealous," you finally admit.

A smile rises on his face and it grows wider as he comes closer. He only stops with a few inches of space between your bodies, then he leans in to softly whisper, "I know."

In reaction, you turn your head his way only to allow him to easily crash his lips against yours. He puts his arms around you as he deepens the kiss, a kiss that makes you dizzy and almost lose your footing.

You would be lying if you didn't miss his kiss, as a matter of fact, you do, you terribly do.

"Guess Lucky isn't that lucky tonight," he pulls away from the kiss only to say that with a shit-eating grin on his face.

As he's about to kiss you again, you dodge away and lightly chuckle.

"And you think you're lucky?" You teasingly ask, then gently push him away.

He hurriedly pulls you closer and tightens his hold around you, "I am."

You shake your head in disagreement, "I don't think so."

He hastily kisses your open mouth and then presses his mouth close to your ear, "You're about to get lucky too."

Without warning, he lifts you off the ground and steers your body toward the bedroom all the while both of your lips are locked in a rapturous kiss.

-

Han is too impatient. He doesn't even bother to take your dress off first, his hand goes under and pushes the hem up, making the dress hunches around your waist.

You let out a sharp gasp the second his hot mouth makes contact with your sex and out of reflex, your legs are clamping his head in between.

Thankfully, his arms are steadily keeping your legs open as his greedy mouth alternates between licking and sucking on your cunt, and a moment later, combining it with his two fingers pumping in and out of you.

It doesn't take long for him to sync those stimulations together to give you the utmost pleasure. If there's anything different about him from the last time you met him is how he's getting better at giving you head, he gets you squirming and moaning non-stop.

"Oh, my— Oh!" you loudly moan against the silence in the room.

Your hands are constantly crumpling the sheet underneath you with your back arched and your waist lifted off the bed.

Han abruptly stops and lifts his head to look at you, "What is it? I can't hear you with your legs around my head," he innocently asks with his mouth glistening wet with your essence.

"Just keep going," you breathlessly say, pushing his head down between your legs again.

He obeys your words, tirelessly pleasing you with his mouth and taking you closer and closer to your release while you're tugging at his hair harder as the pleasure intensifies in each passing second.

When you finally reach your high, you accidentally shut your legs together with his head caught in between. He slowly parts your legs open but keeps them around him, watching you riding down from your high while softly kissing your inner thighs.

After a while, he comes up and hovers above you. You eagerly pull him down, letting him lay himself on top of you. You can taste yourself on him as you kiss him, on his lips, his tongue, and around his mouth.

While your lips are busy lathering his, your hands are roughly pulling at his t-shirt, helplessly trying to get it off of him. He reluctantly lets go of the kiss to do that for you and you shift your focus on unbuckling his belt next.

It's your turn to be impatient, shoving your hand inside his boxer the second you successfully unzip his fly open. You palm his semi-hard cock and slowly stroking it in your hand.

"Gosh, I miss you so much," he breathlessly says.

You open your mouth to speak only for him to tug your lower lip between his teeth and playfully pull at it, making you forget what you're about to say to him.

As a way to get back to him, you surprise him by turning him over and straddling him, having him under you as you stare down at his face.

He's just as beautiful as the last time you saw him, your index finger touches the tiny mole on his fluffy cheek. His honey skin is still as warm as you remember, soft and searing to the touch. You swipe your thumb across his lips before leaning in to kiss him.

"Mmh... baby?" he hums against your lips with his hands cupping your ass and kneading on it.

"Yeah?" You breathlessly ask with your lips lingering on his.

"Help me take off your dress," he whispers.

You lowly chuckle and sit straddling him, taking the hem of your dress to take it off, pulling it over your head, then tossing it away.

The bewilderment is apparent on his face as he looks at your body with wide, lustful eyes and he slides his hands up the side of your body, eagerly waiting for you to take off your bra next.

"Mmh, yeah, get those tits out for me," he playfully says with a sly grin on his face.

His body is shaking along with yours as you laugh at his words while he enjoys touching you, running his knuckles down your front.

There's no denying that you miss his touch so much and how you crumble under the faintest of his touch on you, moreover, how it makes you want him more.

You land a long kiss on his lips and smile at him when you let go, "I'm going to get us a condom."

"Good idea!" He says along with a quick peck on your lips.

You get off him, rolling to the side of the bed, and pull open the drawer on the bedside table, rummaging through the contents to get a condom.

Han is kicking his jeans off the bed when you crawl back to his side while holding the condom in your hand, you put your leg over his as you get comfortable lying next to him.

He turns his head to be greeted by your gaze and tenderly puts his hand on your neck, he then leans in with his mouth open and slightly curling into a smile.

His hand brushes your hair to the side before resting his hand on your neck and instead of going straight for a kiss, he rubs his lips against yours and you can feel his breath on you, hot and raging with desire.

"Oh..." he lowly moans as you gently suck on his lower lip.

He flashes you a wicked grin before licking your lips then crashes them against yours again, slowly yet deeply. You are intimately making out with him as your hand goes down his front, not stopping until your hand meets his engorging member.

Using your index finger, you gently circle the tip of his cock and at times, alternate it with a few strokes on his full length, making it harder and hotter in your hand.

When you deem that both of you are hot and ready enough for it, you tear open the foil packet, then carefully take the rubber out.

You concentrate on putting it correctly, pinching the tip of the condom then slowly unroll the rubber down his length. He intently watches as you meticulously put it on for him and delightfully sighs once you're done.

"Wonderful work!" He playfully comments, pulling you close to him again, "You are welcomed to put it on me for the rest of my life."

You hold his chin and snidely laugh, "You wish!"

Unamused with your remark, he tightens his hold around you and uses his strength to flip you over to have you under him this time.

He plants his lips on you again and kisses you slower with his hand gently kneading on your breast, fingers circling on your hardening bud.

Your body is responsive to every stimulation he's doing to you, your legs are spreading open and you keep seeking that closeness.

The tension hits high as he settles himself between your legs, placing one hand on your thigh and the other aiming his cock at your entrance. He teases you by rubbing his cock on your clit, making you more drenched than you already are.

When he finally enters you, you let out a long moan at how hard and how good it feels to be slowly filled by him.

"I still have more, baby," he murmurs at you with a caress on your cheek.

Han props both hands on each side of you and looks down at you, he's using his hips to push the remaining length inside you while leisurely watching for your reaction, eyes fluttering shut overwhelmed with pleasure.

"Too good," his lips grazing yours as he speaks, "You always feel too good."

When you open your eyes, you can see one corner of his mouth curls into a cocky smirk and you so badly want to take it off his face so you pull him into a kiss.

He starts thrusting slowly, setting a steady pace as he continuously lathers his lips on yours, making you gasp for air in between kisses and moaning against his lips.

The sex feels different because it's not always about the sex itself but who you're doing it with. With Han, you're less insecure about yourself, you don't have to worry about your body and how it looks to him. With him, you can fully enjoy the intimacy between you and him, and also with yourself.

Noticing that you're getting close to your release, he hastily kisses you and says, "Cum together, yeah?"

Unable to answer verbally, you repeatedly nod at him in response.

He keeps the same pace but does it intensely as he's close to his release as well, your lips lingering against each other but both of your eyes are closed and he's groping around for your hand, holding it tightly as he fastens the pace.

When you finally come to your release, he keeps thrusting to ride out his high and then collapsing on top of you. With his eyes half shut, his hand dearly holds the side of your face and slowly puts his lips on you.

The kiss feels a lot gentler, almost like he's kissing a fragile object and you like that. You return his kiss even though you're still coming down from your high, panting in between kisses.

In the midst of it, you get hit by a realization and you immediately push him away, breaking the kiss. You let your head fall onto the pillow and lowly curse, "Fuck..."

"What's wrong?" He asks, slightly concerned.

You let out another groan and roughly brush your hair to the back, "I was planning to make you wait for, at least, a week for that."

He laughs in satisfaction and makes you put your hands around his shoulders again, "You can't help it because I'm cute," he confidently remarks.

You turn away and sigh, "You're not that cute."

Han places slobbering kisses on your neck and face in protest to that, making you laugh under him.

"This is exactly my plan to get you back," he tells you.

"And it's not working," you jokingly say.

He props his elbow against the mattress to not put his whole weight on you, "You have to admit that there's no reason for us to not get back together," he tells you.

It's true, you still have feelings for him and so is he, he wants you back as much as you want him back. You both want to get back together so what's holding you back?

He props his head with his hand and pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies, "Honestly, I've been wondering why we broke up in the first place," he suddenly admits.

You look at him and see the turn of expression on his face, "We weren't ready," you answer.

"I was ready and I still am," he shortly denies, his eyes are open and wide, full of conviction.

You rest your hand on his neck and play with the hair on the nape of his neck, "It was me. I wasn't ready."

There's another change of expression on his face, his eyes downturn and looking sad, "Why?"

You awkwardly shrug and sigh, "I don't want to get hurt," you sadly admit.

His eyes wistfully look at you and his hand tenderly holds the side of your face, "I'm not going to hurt you, baby."

"I know," you respond.

"I like you too much to do that," he assures you with those eyes that shine for you.

The way he convinces you is endearing, you can't help but smile at his words. You don't even know why you think he's capable of hurting you when he's adorable like this.

"As a matter of fact, I love you," he blurts out.

Your heart aches in so many ways hearing those words from him, you smile and cup his cheek in your hand.

"And that's why I'm scared because I love you too," you say those words back to him with all of your heart and with worries that looming around it.

He softly kisses your lips and leans in so close his nose is poking at your cheek, "But we have each other remember?"

It's unfair how easily he can make you fall in love with him again, as easy as taking a breath but that's just the power he has over you, it's taking over you.

"You're right," you agree with him.

He triumphantly smiles and places a chaste kiss on your lips, long and lingering, making your heart ache than before as he holds it in his hand.

"We have each other," he murmurs once he pulls away from the kiss.

And you realize that you have his heart in your hand too so you smile and murmur the words back at him.

"We have each other."

-

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[emoisthenewemu]

⋆˚✿˖°𐙚 ERWIN SMITH X F READER SMUT 18+ MDNI

⋆˚✿˖°𐙚 cw: daddy kink, ex! levi x reader, SMUT, PORN W VERY LITTLE PLOT, p in v, female body parts, oral on both ends, squirting, size kink??, dumbification?, general nastiness almost 9K words of nothing but smut, rough sex, and i think thats mostly it!!!

⋆˚✿˖°𐙚 lol so if anyone is interested i might write a pt 2 w levi and a pt 3 threesome?? This also derived from a levi fic im working on i might just post that here too. Its so funny how my first work on tumblr is an ERWIN SMITH smut of all things but here we are. He makes me so feral

.　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　 .　 ✧ 　. 　 ˚ 　.

You did not expect anyone to follow in your angry march away. In fact, you preferred that no one did, especially Levi. But he seems to be completely repulsed by you these days so you are sure he would do no such thing. Erwin did wait about a minute before taking off without a word, clearly just as unimpressed with Levi as you were. All the man wanted was to blow off some steam, but that was now ruined all thanks to the petty squabble between the former lovers. He was sick enough of hearing all about it from both sides and now it was following him outside of work. Smith did manage to sneak a pint for the trek underneath his coat, managing to finish it long before arriving back to headquarters. And his poor friend was in so much pain that it made him hurt too, he tried to avoid this, to warn her that Ackerman does not have the emotional intelligence for a relationship. He does not know how to be soft and sensual.

Like you deserve to be treated.

It would be inappropriate to admit that Erwin had thought about what it might take to satisfy a woman like you. In more ways than one. But he wants to ignore it and follows up the stairs silently, waiting until you reached the floor of your office/living quarters to call out your name. "Y/N"

"Not in the mood commander" You grumble, not wanting to hear an 'I told you so' from him of all people. You have always admired Commander Erwin, he was a man with principles and honor. A loyal and courageous leader, easily one of the best the Survey Corps had ever seen. Everything about him was impressive; a long list of accomplishments throughout his professional year, he was well educated and had a hefty amount of titan kills under his belt. Another thing which could be considered impressive would be the sheer size of the man. He towered over many with big burly shoulders and a deep, rich voice. His muscles would pop out of his undershirt (something the female scouts would never fail to notice) and his hands were large enough to make regular things appear miniature. You would be lying if you said you hadn't imagined what lay underneath that uniform. But it would be absolutely scandalous to sleep with the commander of all people.

However, you somehow did not find anything wrong with sleeping with the second highest ranking member of the Scouts. That was not your goal of course; to sleep with a powerful man. It just sort of happened, after years of the slow torture that was getting to know Levi and be close with him. Your relationship was similar of that to his with Hange-mostly comprised of shit talking and poking fun at each other. It was like that for years and sometimes things did get intense, growing more into argument territory rather than their usual lighthearted bickering. But you always made up, if not with a verbal apology then with little gestures. Levi always checked the straps of your gear before expeditions, made sure you stretched and ate beforehand. Whenever you found yourself in battle, he somehow always managed to be right behind just in case things went South. And it was not until you were able to lead a squad of your own that Levi had to admit he absolutely hated to be apart from you.

That was how you knew he loved you, it made keeping things so secretive okay. As long as you knew Levi cared for you, that was all that mattered. But as time passed you could not help but wonder if it was purely physical for him, judging by the way he began to completely ignore you in front of others. All it took was some light teasing for him to begin to stray away from your touch. And it hurt that something so small could be enough to stop all that was happening between the two of you. That seemed to be the beginning of the end, it was not long after that the man pulled you into his office and insist the two of you keep things professional from now on. That it was a mistake. He said it so coldly, as if he had not let you sleep in his arms two days prior.

But you played it cool and managed to make it all the way to the stairwell before hot tears began to stream down your face. You refused to let him see how much it hurt, wanted to make it seem as unimportant as he did.

That was only a month ago, so when Erwin initially invited you out to the pub you were weary of being in the presence of Humanity's Strongest Soldier. But Erwin insisted that one of his most hard-working soldiers should put the paperwork down for just one night and let loose. He also promised to not leave your side, aware of the weird tension between you and Levi.

Erwin was not dumb, and happened to be the only person who caught on to you and Levi. Noticing the stolen glances and sly smiles sent from across the room. It wasn't until you accidentally sent down a paper that was meant for Levi on the commander's desk. A paper with a not so subtle note at the bottom containing such foul things that he did not dare to even repeat them as he scolded the two of you for being so careless. You had never seen him so angry, nor had he ever spoke to you so harshly. It was so harsh you almost cried, hiding your face the whole time in utter embarrassment. The two of you promised to never again let your 'nighttime activities' affect your work. And he left it at that, choosing to never bring it up again. He intended on never involving himself between the two of you again.

But tonight as Erwin saw the pain which clouded your eyes, it made him want to make it all go away. How desperately he ached to make you forget all about Levi and scream his name all night long instead.

"I am not here to make you feel dumb" He reassures, closing your bedroom door behind him. You watch him intently from the other side of the room, a clenched jaw as he plays with the loosened collar of his shirt. The drinks were making him sweaty, a tiny droplet catching the light as it dripped down his chest.

The very last thing you should be worried about is how utterly sexy your commander looks at a time like this. You don't consider yourself the type of woman to move on so easily. But how can you not be enticed by a sweaty, hunky man standing in your bedroom, only there because he is worried about your well-being? Not what is beneath your clothes. In fact, he makes a show of averting his eyes as you begin to undo the bodice of your dress. He has always been so respectful and good to you, always made sure to ask your opinion on important matters because he valued your input. That was arguably the hottest thing he had ever done; respect you entirely. "Forgive me if it is not my place to say this, but I believe you can do much better than Ackerman"

You laugh, letting the strings of the corset hang as you silently pray he will give in to look at the way your breasts threaten to spill from your dress. "Is that so?" You raise a curious eyebrow. "Any better options?"

Erwin finally looks back over to you and he silently curses at your undone dress which is practically begging to just be ripped off. He swallows thickly, focusing on the middle of your eyebrows as to not look anywhere else. "None come to mind. Though I do hope you'll find one more willing to communicate his emotions"

"Hm" You kick off your boots, wondering if the tension is not just one sided. If he feels the heat too which eats at your whole body. So neglected, and feeling so unwanted. You put on your nicest undergarments today in the hopes that Levi would be taking you home. You just want someone to take care of you, soothe the uncomfortable ache between your legs. You have enough on your plate as is, dealing with the newest recruits to the Scouts. They were already starting fights and complaining about orders and it was supposed to be your job to whip them into shape. And you were exhausted, drained from feeling like a single mother with a group of disobedient kids who just had to question your every order. You needed some stress relief desperately. It is obvious with the way you rub your tired eyes, hunched over your bed as you stare at the floor. "And you? I still find it hard to believe a man like you has no lady waiting for you to come back home every night"

His posture eases up but his body remains pressed against the door, almost like he is afraid to step any closer. He imagines there is an imaginary line which starts at the wardrobe in front of him, and should he cross that line he does not trust there will be any going back. In fact, he should have left the very second his impure thoughts started. "A man like me?" He sounds almost proud, that charm of his is beginning to kick in. He loves talking to ladies, can wrap them easily around his finger. "Im awfully busy you know? Don't have enough time to dedicate myself to a woman the way they deserve"

"Poor Commander" Your sweet voice makes him weak in the knees, his resolve faltering with every second. "You're a good one, so strong and brave. You take such good care of all of us. I think you deserve to have someone take care of you"

You're such a good little soldier, the Commander has always thought so. You have always followed every single order with a sweet smile, obedient and looking to please. He wants to thank you for being so perfect, for worrying about him when the original intent of following you was to check on your feelings. And by now it is obvious that you are teasing him, not even bothering to hide the way you clench your thighs every time he speaks. And you, the little minx you are, can tell that you're getting to him. Finally cracking that iron-tough exterior. It's evident with the way he cannot look at your eyes more than a few seconds, gaze constantly darting down to your chest and exposed thighs. He is clearly battling inside of his mind and you are dead set on breaking him.

He clears his throat, beginning to tap his foot anxiously as he looks around almost comically. As if there were anyone else he could look over to in this room that would convince him to get the hell out of there. Commander be damned, that was not even a concern on his mind right now. His main worry would be how upset Levi would be if he ever found out his most trusted comrade slept with his woman. But at the same time, that makes it all the more enticing. He wished he could rub it in the smug bastard's face that he has his beloved practically begging to be fucked by him. How he wants to make you scream so loud Levi hears it.

"Y/N" It's almost painful to speak, the way he is actively holding himself back from moving. He refuses to take even a single step. "It would be very inappropriate to let something happen between us"

"Mmm....but that just makes me want it more" You whine and he brings his fist up to his mouth in an attempt to conceal the curses slipping out. You feel like you are almost there, so close to getting what you desperately want. You sigh dramatically, making a point of throwing yourself back onto your bed. "No one is forcing you to stay Erwin. I couldn't keep you from leaving if I tried"

You're right, he is a grown man and if he had any kind of self control he would be marching right out of there. But right now, his chest is warming up and his mouth is watering at the sight of your dress bunching up dangerously close to your most sacred area. Now on your side, you look him up and down. You cannot help but laugh at how tense he is, almost as if he was afraid of you. "Oh Erwin, stop looking at me as if I'm trying to corrupt you"

His pants are beginning to grow tight, his own body betraying him as he finds himself growing uncomfortably hard. He attempts to clasp his hands in front of himself in an attempt to conceal the forming tent. The man lets out a deep breath, looking up to the ceiling. His mind is made.

He wants to ruin all other men for you.

Erwin finally crosses that line, stepping forward and gesturing for you to sit up. You obey, watching intently as he kneels in front of you. "My only concern is that if I start I may not be able to control myself" He admits, hands tracing the skin of your ankles which hang over the bed. The position makes it so that he is placed in between your thighs, his body beneath you as he looks up with wide eyes. He is so handsome it's almost unfair, you bring a finger to trace his sharp jawline. "A woman like you should be cherished"

His rough hands bring up one of your legs, relaxing back on his heels as he goes to place a soft kiss to your calf. He catches a glimpse of your white, lace panties and it makes him groan. After all of this teasing, you now find it hard to speak-too entranced by how soft he is being. It is a complete contrast to the way Levi makes love to you-as if every time would be the last. Erwin is taking his time, kissing and licking up your legs so sensually that you find whines leaving your lips. But he stops at your inner thighs much to your dismay.

You pout, looking down at him expectantly. "Don't worry princess" He coos, seeing your frustrated expression. He knows you are impatient, he is too but it has been far too long since Erwin had the opportunity to pleasure a woman. He will be damned if he does not enjoy every second of it, if you don't finish multiple times then he will be rather disappointed. Perhaps it is one of his kinks, getting nice sweet girls all worked up-to corrupt them. You just feel so heavenly, he wants to make you turn absolutely filthy. "You'll get what you want. Good girls are patient"

You're so unbelievably horny you could cry. You want to beg him to just fuck you already but that would be way too desperate. You still would like to keep a semblance of respect for yourself, as if the act you found yourself in was not disrespectful enough. Commander Erwin is sliding your dress down your shoulders, making you sit up a bit so he could pull it down your thighs. It almost feels unreal, that the most respected man in the Regimen is on his knees for you, ready to take you entirely. Finally, he kissed your-gasping into it you could not help but pull him closer by the shirt. Your hands fumbled with the buttons, finally getting a chance to run your nails down those chiseled muscles you had only dreamed about up until now.

His tongue presses into your mouth, running his hands down your side as he tries to touch every bit of skin available to him. He is so good, kiss tender yet passionate. You can feel how badly he wants you, the way his head moves in sync with yours as low groans escape his lips. As desperate as you were a few minutes ago, you hate the thought of his lips leaving yours, grabbing hungrily at his biceps as she shrugs his shirt off. Erwin began to fumble with the buckle of his belt, ripping it off and throwing it to the side without a thought. When you finally pulled apart, you were about to complain until he stood up to take his pants off.

You decided to keep things going, slipping off your bra to leave you in only your panties. His eyes darkened at the sight, going back on his knees and immediately latching his lips onto your chest. Soft moans escape your lips as he finds one of your nipples, sucking softly at the skin as his hand gropes the other. You buck your hips into his, using one of your hands to play with his hair. "So good Erwin" You praise, reaching your other hand down to the place he needed to be touched the most.

You cant reach enough to wrap your hand around his length, but you can feel the tip rubbing against your fingers as you desperately try to grab more of him. He is thick, and you cannot wait to see how long he must be. When he finally pulls off of your chest to look up at you, you smile. Reaching down to kiss him, he allows you to jerk him more through his underwear-you notice it is too much for just one of your hands to hold. It makes you so anxious to feel him inside of you.

"You're so beautiful" Erwin compliments, his beautiful blue eyes taking in your entire figure. "I've always thought so"

"Wish I knew that sooner" You tease, aware that this cannot go any further than what happens tonight. Neither of you are in any place to be in a relationship. But it feels so incredibly good. "But I have to admit I have thought of this more than I should. You are one of the most handsome men I have ever seen"

It feels good to be complimented, it only makes him want to devour you even more. So he decided he has had enough of the teasing, he wants-no. He needs to taste the real thing. He wordlessly pulls down your panties, wrapping his arms around your knees to pull you closer. And he looks up at your pretty little face one more time, before diving in between your legs. One lick up your slit is all it takes to completely ruin the professional relationship the two of you had spent years building. He should be ashamed of himself, being in such a high power position and still succumbing to his own nasty urges.

It is so wrong, he moans into your pussy at the thought. It should not be making it so much better, the thought of how naughty he is to be licking up your pussy like a man starved. His tongue flicks between your folds, going up to circle your clit before going back down only to repeat his movements. Every time he reaches your clit, your hips bump up and it is not long before he pulls you so flush against his face that he cannot lick anywhere that's not your pussy. He shakes his head side to side, moaning again as he makes out with your folds. "Tastes so good" He groans before diving in, this time focusing on that little nub directly. You moan loudly, beginning to pant at the way he sucks right on your clit. He stops to flick it with his tongue, loud noises of slurping and sucking so obnoxious anyone in the nearby rooms could hear. "So sweet" He pulls apart again, unable to process how fucking good it tastes. If he had days he would dedicate the night to just eating your pussy, the fucking could wait for later. "Pussy's so good princess"

He moves his tongue lower, finding your entrance and prodding at it softly. He settles his face deeper between your thighs, grabbing the soft skin as his large nose bumps up against your clit, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. God, his nose, so prominent and strong. The absolutely filthy thoughts you had about riding the man's face and using it to rub your clit against just like he was now. It was all so much, so good as your moans grew louder. He was fucking your entrance with his tongue by now and you could not help but bounce against his face, desperate to have more. The pleasure was starting to build, Erwin could tell by the incoherent words which spill from your lips.

No longer were the soft whines and moans which got him so worked up in the first place. Now you were talking complete nonsense, but that did not matter to him. That was only more encouragement for the man to keep going, oh how he wanted to fuck you stupid.

"Fuck!" You panted, hands gripping at the sheets, his hair, his shoulders, anything you could hold on to as your lower body bounced against his face. Nose still rubbing against your clit as you wonder how he could even breathe with his face so suffocated between your thighs.

He couldn't but he did not care. He was willing to die between your legs as long as you finish on his face. He needs it, he is dying of thirst and only your juice can give him some relief. "Please" He mumbled, going back up to focus on your clit and shoving a finger into you. You moan loudly and he begins to rock the digit into you, making out with your clit so sloppily you can hear the saliva sloshing around. It is so dirty it makes your eyes roll back, mouth forming into an 'o' as he picks up the pace, adding another finger. "Please cum on my mouth princess"

"Ohh yess baby!" You gasp, unable to think as the pleasure continues to build, overwhelmingly so as your legs begin to shake due to how fast the man fingers you. "Im-im..."

You cannot finish your sentence due to your release, and Erwin is going absolutely feral. He slurps up every drop, moaning about how good it is, that he can't believe you were hiding this perfect pussy from him all these years. He supposed he is to blame for that but he is far too in the moment to worry about any of it. When he pulls apart his face and chest are soaked, hair sticking to his head as he let out heavy breaths.

You managed to lift your body up, reaching out for his touch. He grabbed your hand and kissed it sweetly, almost as if that obscene scene which laid before you minutes ago never even happened. "Mm come here baby" You murmured softly and he obliged, giving in to the kiss you pulled him into. It was slow and sensual, tongues slowly greeting each other again as you held his face in your hands, enjoying the taste of yourself on his tongue. "Did so good" You mumble into the kiss, gasping when he bites your bottom lip.

"Thank you sweet girl" He mutters, going to kiss and bite at the skin on your neck. He breathes in your scent, tasting the salty sheen which now covers your whole body. His kisses are hot and needy, his hands going to grip your ass.

"Get on the bed please" You asked nicely, desperately wanting more praise. It sounded so incredibly good coming from him, was the best kind of encouragement you could have ever hoped for. You thought so highly of him, and you needed to make him proud. If you were going to ruin your relationship then you would at least hope he would be imagining your lips wrapped around his cock, thinking back on it fondly. Like you said, he took such good care of of you and this was simply returning the favor. "I wanna taste you now"

So he finally unveiled himself to you entirely, cock springing out as he pulled his underwear off rather impatiently. It slaps the skin of his stomach, a glossy sheen covering the tip as the rest of it looks angry-red and swollen, begging to be touched. He is so unbelievably thick that it makes your mouth water, thinking about how you will have to open your mouth as wide as you can to take him entirely. You slowly wrap a hand around the base, squeezing slightly as you prepare to take easily the largest cock you have ever seen. "You're so big" You almost whisper, pressing a chaste kiss to his knee.

Erwin senses some hesitation, reaching out to caress the side of your face so sweetly. He knows he is going to lose any sense of composure the second he feels your tongue, and he just hopes you are prepared to take him the way wishes. "But you can take it darling" He coos, thumb going to rub your soft lips. They part slightly, taking in the tip of his digit to suck on it lightly. He shudders at the feeling, imagining your lips wrapped around another part of him. "Such a good girl, gonna choke on daddy's cock for me right?"

You moan at his words, nodding so excitedly it makes him laugh. You are too precious really, he can't wait to ruin you. He wants to make you cry on his cock, shake and finish until you can't take anymore. "Yes daddy" His words are all the encouragement you need to finally take him, just allowing the tip into your mouth at first. Your tongue flattens against the tip, licking and tasting all of the precum which surrounds the head. Taking a deep breath, you move further, an experimental bob of your head as you find you mouth completely stuffed. And you're just about to reach halfway, how in the hell is this going to work?

Erwin's hand places itself in your hair, gently helping guide you further down. His noises are heavenly, and all he can do is stare down at you. Watching you take it intently, body shuddering as you begin to speed up the pace at which you bob your head. He thrusts slightly, smiling at the small gags leaving your mouth. But it's not enough, he needs you to choke on it, gasp for air as spit drips down your chin. He wants tears falling down your eyes as a bulge forms in your throat. This was all it took for any kind of respect to be thrown out the window, you've got him started now, feeling insatiable as he desperately wants to use you as a fucktoy. "Look at you" The blonde man groans, chest heaving and glossy as his thighs clench with the way you refuse to use your hands around him. Only your mouth, up and down gagging every time you take him in your throat. "Look so fucking sexy with my cock in your mouth"

You moan around his length, clenching your thighs together as you yearn for his touch once more. You can hardly breathe, the scent of his musk invading your nostrils as his pubic hairs tickle your nose. You are so completely enveloped by all things Erwin Smith, everywhere you look, touch, taste. And it is driving you crazy, unable to think about anything but your big strong commander who deserves to be praised. You need him to feel worshipped as you finally swap your mouth with your hands, choosing to suck on his balls instead. The act emits a growl from the man, panting above you as he cannot form any thoughts with the way you guzzle up his balls. You're moaning, sounds of slurping and spit as he can see the mess forming on your face. Jerking him hungrily as your tongue dashes across the two sacs, so eager to please him. "So fucking dirty" He curses again, an occurrence so rare it makes you moan. And he slaps your chin softly, not hard enough that it hurts but firm. "Who knew you were such a slut?"

You moan, going back up to take his member back in your mouth. You only bob a few times before coming up with a 'pop!', pleading eyes looking up at the man in front of you. His lips curved into a sly smile as he admires just how sloppy you look. Lips so swollen from taking his dick and a few strands of hair stuck to your chin from all of the spit. "Fuck my mouth please" You have no shame, you're almost whining as you grab his hands to hold your head. You look up with wide eyes, his excitement evident as it seems there is a newfound twinkle in the man's eyes. "Please daddy" It angers him to think about how obedient you must have been for Levi, he needs to remind you on what exactly you were missing out on.

"Such good manners darling" He compliments before lowering your mouth back onto him. His whole body tenses, groaning at the way your throat convulses around him as he pushes your head further down. "So sweet asking daddy for permission. I didn't even have to train you first"

You can't speak back of course, in fact he wonders if you can even process what he is saying with the way he thrusts up into your mouth. And the noises are so obscene, gargling and gagging-the sound of Erwin's pants and moans filling the room. It is too good to be true, his thrusts pick up the pace as spit falls freely down, pooling on his thighs as he massages the inside of your throat. Poor thing, it will be certainly bruised after this and he reminds himself to have a hot cup of tea prepared for you the next morning. Praises leave his mouth as he uses you, balls slapping against your chin as his hands begin to pull on your hair. You focus on breathing out of your nose when you can, swallowing every time he shoves himself all the way to the back. It drives him crazy, he moans loudly every time you do it and that is enough to keep you going. Your eyes are crying, unable to stop the tears from flowing as you choke on his cock.

It has been a very long time since Erwin had the sheer bliss of a woman's mouth wrapped around him. And he cannot remember if it felt this good the last time, he wonders how he went so long without it. Maybe it's just you, so willing to take him and let him do whatever he wants. It makes his cock twitch, release nearing as he finds himself proud he even lasted this long. As much as he wants to prolong it, toes clenched and chest tightened as he refuses to spill out-he decides to give you a break. You deserve it, with how well you've taken him. "M'cumming darling, you better swallow all of it" He growls, slapping your cheek softly as you moan excitedly-ready to swallow his seed. "And say thank you"

Those are his last words before finally spilling into your mouth, jaw slack as he moans loudly into the night. His hips rock softly, chasing his high and it makes his body shudder. You clean all of it up, careful to not spill as much as a drop and you make a show of swallowing to prove you won't be letting it go to waste.

"Thank you" You hum, giggling softly because things will never be the same.  You wish you could brag to all of the other women who admire him just as much as you do.

He pulls you up by the hand and you get on the bed, humming softly when he embraces you, wrapping an arm around your waist before settling his forehead down on your shoulder. He kisses the skin softly and you melt into his touch, running your fingers up his back. It is so intimate, a complete opposite from the filthy things that took place moments prior. Your lips meet again, moving slowly and tenderly as you both grab at any skin available. You feel hungry for more, carnal desires completely overriding your body as you want to beg him to take you. Levi is not even a thought in your mind as you crave Erwin and Erwin only.

He can tell you need him with the way your tongue impatiently explored his mouth, hand going to grab his half-hard member. Stroking it softly you whine into his mouth, leaving his lips to place kisses trailing down his neck. You suck at his earlobe softly, emitting a groan from the large man. He stops your movements by grabbing your wrist. "Lay on your back darling"

You nod, moving back onto the bed and opening up your legs to give him a view of the thing he craved to feel the most. The sight alone is enough to make him fully erect, ready to fuck you the way you deserve. He kisses up your body, starting at your hipbone and following up your ribcage until he reached your neck. His big hands run up your legs, greedily as he takes in every inch of your body. He can't stop touching you, fingers grazing the soft skin of your stomach, going to trace over your nipples and collarbone. "Please Erwin" You beg, yes you love the way he is looking at you as if you were the only woman on Earth. You feel adored, so confident under his soft eyes that you are not even worried about covering up. You feel no shame, only desire for the man situated between your legs, shoulder muscles flexing as he wraps both arms around you. But you are going to go absolutely insane if he doesn't fuck you soon.

"You're too good to be true princess" He sounds sincere, nuzzling his head into your nape as he rubs his cock against your slippery folds. You whine, grinding down on him before trying to grab it and put the damn thing in yourself. He stops you like it's nothing, choosing to pin your wrist above your head. "I need to ruin you"

With those harsh words, he finally pushes the tip inside, groaning immediately at the sensation. He does not bother to wait for you to catch up, sheathing himself entirely as you claw at his back-you open your mouth to gasp but no noise comes out. It's as if his cock is strangling you, filling you up in a way you could have never imagined. "Take it" He whispers, bucking his hips softly and ignoring the way to try to paw his hips away from you. It's too much to handle, your pussy feels like it might split open from all the pressure. Tears well in your eyes as you try to relax, taking a deep shaky breath that makes the man shudder. You look so cute trying to relax when his dick is molding your walls to his size, and the way you cry out with every thrust makes him want to give you more. "Fucking take it" He mutters, groaning when you try to push his hips away again. "Stop running and relax"

You whine, bottom lip shaking as he pushes himself inside again, choosing not to move so you can become more accustomed to the feeling. And even when he is not moving, you still whine and dig into his back as if he were actually fucking you. "It's just so big. Y-you didn't even go slow" A tear falls from your eye and you don't even know how screwed you are.

He's not listening to your complaints, all he sees is a whiny whore that needs to be whipped into shape. But he will do it, by the end of the night you'll be more than prepared to take his cock at any time. He is about to scold you, but he notices your walls beginning to relax, your chest no longer raised as if you could not lay down comfortably. "You're the one who begged for it slut" He thrusts again and you both moan, your arms go to wrap around his neck. His face is pressed into your chest, bodies flushed entirely against one another as his slow but powerful thrusts invigorate your every sense. "And now-" He stops to give another hard thrust and you practically scream at the feeling. It causes him to cup his hand around your mouth, angling his body into a new position. He pulls your hips down, your body going down slightly so that you are more flat on the bed. "You're gonna take what daddy gives you, okay?"

You nod and that is when the fun truly begins. You really had no idea what you were in for, going and teasing your commander just for the fun of it. Because you were messy and horny and needed to be stuffed. You did not know it would result in the most in-depth and passionate fucking of your life. He needed it even more than you did, the stress of his job and the constant questioning of his morals was beginning to drive him mad. He did not feel like a person anymore. He was a martyr, represented every single soldier in the Survey Corps. The public could point and blame him whenever an expedition went bad, every loss of life was his fault. He was a devil.

The only thing devilish about the man was the way he fucked, no mercy, using every bit of his strength to get exactly what he wants. You cannot do anything but moan and cry as he pounds into you, unaware that all of his anguish was being poured into you. He feels the most alive he's felt in years, he never wants it to end. He wished he could fuck you until his heart stops. His movements grow faster, the mattress loudly squeaking and you wrap your legs around his back. You cry out his name as he watches your breasts bounce with every movement.

"S-so good daddy" You whimper into his ear, clinging to his body and trying to pull him even closer as if it were possible. "Fuck! Feels so good!" Your hips are trying to meet his thrusts sloppily. Too preoccupied to think, you dig your forehead into his shoulder, moaning whatever words you can make out. When you bite down on his shoulder he cannot stop the moans which leave his mouth. His noises are the hottest thing you have ever heard, so deep and guttural. You suck on his adam's apple, pussy clenching due to his desperate noises.

"Gonna cum inside this messy pussy" He manages to speak, and the sight of your juices splattered across his abs make him want to finish that very moment. He wants to watch the glistening skin as you gush around him but he knows he won't last with such a filthy sight. He just needs a little bit more before he lets it all go completely. Erwin slips a palm beneath your head and cups the crown of your head, groaning because you're now fucking him back, desperately clawing at his back muscles as you try to guide his pace into you. He moves up to catch your lips but cannot find it in himself to kiss you when he feels such ecstasy. You moan into each others mouths so desperately as he rocks into you. You continue to fuck down on his cock, thighs beginning to shake.

"Mm! Mm! G'na...fuuuck" You cry out as your orgasm finally arrives. It rocks your entire body and you go limp, unable to form a single thought as Erwin chases his own high.

Luckily, the way your walls squeezed him in the second you came was more than enough to encourage his release out of him. His toes curl as he finally lets himself finish, panting into your skin as his cock twitches inside of you. Both of your bodies are slick with sweat by now and he keeps himself inside of you, letting all of his weight down. His head rests on your chests, mewling in delight when you bring your fingers to scratch his scalp. "What do you say darling?" He reminds as he remembers a hand still remains tangled in your hair, pulling you closer to press a lazy kiss on his lips.

You kiss him back longer then expected and he leans into your touch, causing his cock to slip out. You both whine at the sudden loss of contact. It almost feels wrong to not have him plugging you up. "Thank youu" You remember and he laughs almost mockingly. His thumb grazes your lip and he pulls you closer to kiss you again. His tongue teasingly introduces itself into your mouth before pulling out completely. He remains close, hot breath ghosting against your skin. "Mm, thank you so much daddy"

He kisses you again, so hungry it makes you whine-suddenly aware of his seed which leaks out of your swollen pussy. "You're so adorable" You meet with another sloppy kiss and when you suck on his tongue excitedly his dick springs back to life.

"Again" He orders, a newfound burst of energy as he shoots back up. Resting back on his haunches, he pats the bed. "On your knees"

You're staring at him like he is insane. Of course you want him again, you feel so empty without him. But you would also like to be able to walk tomorrow. Your arms are barely strong enough to hold yourself up, shaking with the way you lean back on them. You are a very busy woman, have important drills to run with the newest recruits and the thought of flying around through the trees in your ODM gear makes you want you cry. You are so sore already, your poor pussy feels like she was abused. Not to mention you have to walk an almost comical amount of stairs just to get outside in the first place. "B-but I have drills to run tomorrow" You pout.

Erwin laughs at the scared look in your eyes, so mean as he rolls his eyes dismissively. "I'm certain you'll live" He mocks and it makes you pout even harder. "Don't be a brat, I thought you were a good girl"

"I am!" You insist and you look so cute it makes his dick twitch in anticipation. He needs you again, and he will have you again.

"Hmm, I'm not so sure" He teases, fingers running up your thigh to meet your pussy. "Thought you want to make your Commander happy?" He asks, using a finger to clean up some of the cum that was now dripping inside of you.

When he pushes it back inside, your leg twitches and the man smiles wickedly. "I do Commander!" You whine. "You deserve the best"

He raises an eyebrow expectantly and you get the hint, flipping your body over and arching your ass up into the air. He is very obviously pleased, placing a harsh slap to your ass. He does it again, watching the way your flesh ripples with each smack. You yelp the fourth time he does it, this one harder than the rest. "Good girl" You smile at the praise, glad you are back in his good graces. You'll take him as many times as he likes-so long as he never looks at you again with that disappointed look in his eyes.

He lines himself up your entrance, entering slow this time. Your velvet walls suck him in so greedily it's hard to move, but he manages with a few curses escaping his lips. He throws his head back with the next thrust, obsessed with the squelch of all of the juices leaking out your sloppy pussy. "Ohh my" He moans, eyebrows furrowing as he watches his cock disappear into your tiny hole. The way you tighten around his limb makes him think you are fighting the urge to run away from it. He notices your dainty hands clawing at the sheets, your face scrunched up as you moan loudly.

The sound of clapping begins to arise with every thrust, he grabs your sides to keep you in place, his hips piston into you at an unrelenting pace. You can't even think. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" You cry each time the tip brushes your cervix and Erwin is in a trance of his own. His eyes are glued to the creamy ring forming at the base of his cock, ears so focused on listening out for those nasty noises exiting your cunt.

He moans unabashedly as he drills into your poor cunt. He is too focused on the lewd noises exiting your pussy that he does not notice the way the headboard slams against the wall. The wood is old, creaky and likely rotting by now. It also has taken quite enough beatings already from your late night escapades with Levi, you aren't sure it can handle much more. But you don't dare to try and stop him, you're too fucked out to speak anyways. You gasp when he hits a certain spot that makes you see stars.

"Right there princess?" He groans, pulling himself almost completely out before snapping his hips right back into the same spot, earning the same reaction out of you. "Daddy takes good care of his girl right?"

Your eyes are almost crossing with the overstimulation. His deep commanding voice, the way his balls slap your clit with every thrust, his fingertips digging into your thighs so tightly they're sure to leave a mark and his filthy fucking words are going to be the death of you. You take a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut at the delicious mix of pain and pleasure. "Yes daddy! Yes! Doing so good!" You're a mess, drooling into the sheets as it seems the man has finally met his goal. You are ruined. Your words are growing borderline incoherent, repeating the same things over and over. "So good! S-so big! Mm-so strong!"

Erwin is practically lifting your bottom half completely off the bed, drilling into you as if his life depends on it. The 'pat pat pat' of skin slapping together makes him feel absolutely feral, his eyes stuck on the way your body moves with each calculated thrust. "Yes!" He chants like a prayer, growling when your pussy begins to squeeze him. And the way you whine, cry, and slobber beneath him makes it seem like you haven't been fucked good in a while. "What would Levi say if he saw his pretty little slut bent over for her Commander?" He slaps your ass and you squeal. His thumb goes to press against the rim of your asshole, teasing the flesh lightly as he pulls your pussy back onto him.

"Ahh!" You moan, fully intending to answer his question. "Oh he'd be so mad!" You giggle and another thrust makes you cry out again. "F-fuck cant imagine"

"Does he fuck you better than this darling?" The man spits on your pussy, leaving a stinging sensation with another rough slap to your ass. The skin is red and he hopes to god a handprint will be left over to commemorate this blissful night. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your skull, whining like a bitch in heat as he rubs against your g-spot. You cannot talk, pussy squeezing his cock that is currently abusing your hole. And when he stops, going to press his palm flat against the side of your head you want to cry. Slowly fucking yourself back into him, you shudder, overstimulation creeping up as he hits every spot perfectly. "I asked you a question slut"

Truth is, you are afraid to answer. Things with Levi are just different. And not in a bad way, you have cried around his cock multiple times and he has certainly pleased you in the past. With Erwin drilling into you, you want to scream that he is the best you've ever had and ever will. But you also fear the repercussions, should Levi ever find out you said that you will be punished for God knows how long. But Erwin absolutely needs you to fuel his ego, he needs to fuck you better than Levi ever can. So he angles your hips a bit more and thrusts hard, keeping his tip pressed against your cervix and rubbing the spot lightly. You scream at the sensation, eyes beginning to well up from the pleasure. His hand pushes your head deeper into the bed, picking your hips up even more as he used you like a doll. "Is this all your good for princess? Nothing but a tight fuck-hole"

You cry out garbled moans of his name as he fucks you so meanly. In this moment he has full control, and you will do whatever he says. "S-so much better than Levi daddy!" He almost stops to confirm if he heard that right but he decided he would much rather fuck the confession out of you again. So he does, arching your back even more and fucking you harshly into the mattress. The bedframe is back to being thrown against the wall again, loud creaks matching his every thrust. "Your dick is so good daddy! Best I ever had!"

That is exactly what he needed to hear to lose the little bit of composure left in his body. His groans and movements are starting to become borderline animalistic. The sight is so obscene, if anyone were to walk in they would come face to face with the shock of their life. He does not worry about the noise, the only other person with living quarters on this floor is Hange and she's no snitch. Especially if she knew the Commander was involved, he was more than positive she would look the other way. The only other person he can think of who would come up here is Levi and by God he hopes he does. The thought makes his balls tighten, Levi listening on the other side of the door as his sweet girl cries around Erwin's cock.

"This pussy is mine now" The blonde commands, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass. "I'm going to take you wherever I want whenever I want okay Soldier?"

"Y-yes commander!" You're fully sobbing by now, tears streaming down your face. You look sooo pretty, Erwin thinks. It is making all smart thoughts fly out the window, oh how he needs you to scream out his name.

"Say my name" The man orders, cock still stuck inside you and moving at an unrelenting speed. His stamina is almost as impressive as his cock. "Let them all know who fucks your cunt this good"

"Yes! Yes!" You nod beneath him, still pressed into the sheets as you try to ignore the loud 'CRACK!' coming from your headboard. A few more calculated thrusts are sure to make the thing fall apart. "Ohh Erwin! So good! Erwin!"

"That's it sweetheart" He moans freely into the air, hips snapping into yours. "Let them know how good your Commander fucks you"

You continue chanting his name and the second your eyes squeeze shut, walls clamping down on him the bed finally breaks. It crashes down as his cock continues to plunge into you, for some reason seeing the wood crack right down the middle makes Erwin go even harder. He desperately hopes Levi can hear the depraved noised which fill the room. Your head is growing dizzy, gasping for air as your thighs begin to shake. You try to warn him of your upcoming release but it comes much faster than anticipated, you sob as your juices spray his abs. His big heavy balls are coated with your liquid and he admires the way it almost glows with the light. And this time around he doesn't even have to remind you to scream out "Thank you! Thank you!"

"That was a big one princess" He moans, chasing his own release as his thrusts grow sloppy. His hands grip your hair even harder and you hiccup as he leans his body into yours, fucking your pussy almost lazily. The sight of you squirting will never leave his head after this, he fully intends to see you do it again. "Oh so good" He moans, finally shivering as his cock twitches. Slapping himself against your pussy he finally cums, spraying your womb with his seed. Unfortunately, thanks to Levi he is aware that you are on birth control. It's almost painful to think he has no chance of getting you pregnant, but he still imagines your stomach swollen with his child.

He pulls out, finally relaxing as he lays down beside you. Both of your chests going up and down as you try to catch your breaths. You are an absolute mess, sprawled out across the sheets-still on your stomach. Your head is facing the opposite way, in its own pile of tears and slobber from being fucked so dumbly. His cum drips out of you, a heavenly sight that he cannot tear his eyes away from. But he wants to feel you close, the man brings out a hand to trace up your spine. It makes you shiver with delight. "Let me hold you darling"

You wordlessly turn over to face him, welcoming yourself into his strong, warm arms. Your head rests on his chest, bare bodies pressed together as he softly plays with your hair. Your hands rests on his chest, feeling his heartbeat drum against your palm. Erwin kissed the top of your head softly, he feels so welcome in the comfort of your bedroom. He intends to sleep with you in his arms, and just maybe he will stay tomorrow night too if you let him.

"Erwin?" You ask hesitantly, the post-orgasm clarity kicking in as you take in the weight of your actions. You fucked your Commander, what now?

"Yes my darling?"

"What am I going to tell them about my bed?"

___

Levi is quick to make it to your room next morning. He is up bright and early, intending to catch you before you make your way down to the mess hall for breakfast. He also hopes that maybe he'll get some make-up sex out of this. He even showered the second he woke up. He knows he is an idiot and getting shitfaced last night was enough to make him realize he loves you. It is the only reason he acted so out of his character, no respect or second-thought for your feelings. He regrets it all and is fully prepared to do what it takes you make you officially belong to him.

He is at the end of the hall, only a few steps away from the staircase when he heard your door open. He hears you giggle, it makes his heart drop. He cannot remember the last time he heard your sweet laugh. And he is utterly puzzled when he sees you push Erwin out your bedroom door into the hall. You say something he can't make out and Erwin obnoxiously laughs at your words before the door closes in his face. Levi is utterly shocked as the wheels in his head turn, noticing that Erwin is still in the same clothes he wore to the Pub last night. He was not in Uniform, instead he had a few of his shirt buttons undone, the fabric very obviously wrinkled and not neatly pressed like his clothing always was. He also appears to not even be showered yet, he looks like he has just woken up. Worst of all is the God-forsaken, smug smile on his lips when Erwin finally catches sight of Levi who remains in his place at the end of the hall.

"Good morning Levi" The blonde greets.

"Erwin" Is all the raven-haired man says, that same unimpressed look on his face as always. "Were you just leaving Y/N's room? Did you sleep there?" He has no shame in asking, he needs to know.

"Oh we were just having a conversation! Don't be ridiculous" He walks closer to Levi, who remains with his arms crossed. "It seems she is need of a new bed-frame"

Levi's eye twitches, he knows that shitty thing is on it's last legs. He's partly to blame for that. "And why's that?"

Erwin sighs, slapping a hand on Levi's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it" Levi immediately throws his hand off and the man continues inching towards the staircase. "Just get back to work Captain!" Levi rolls his eyes, watching the Commander begin his descent down. "That's an order!"

[stuckasmain]

Hal’s deactivation is hard hitting across both the movie and the book. It’s been dissected a million times and likely more in the future. Most recently in the way of Hal having little agency…he has no arms to ward off his attacker or means of defense (but I’d argue killing Frank and the others was his defense, especially in the movie when his reasoning is more ambiguous). I do love the idea this is following and hope to see more of it in the future, however the way I’m approaching it is with a more romantic lense.

The entire lobotomy sequence is heart wrenching and almost worse in the novel purely because we get to see Dave’s thoughts on it. Not only do we hear Hal’s frightened pleas for his life but we get the ‘attacker’ perspective and it’s… an act of mercy.

While there is the themes of survival and violence this is approached with a softer touch. It’s much more that he is putting Hal out of his misery. Ending his suffering. Not putting him down like an animal but rather the harsh decision faced when one has an ill/dying lover.

“The only answer was to cut out the higher centers of this sick but brilliant brain, and to leave the purely automatic regulating systems in operation” 155

After the job is done Dave forgives Hal incredibly quickly once all of the facts are in. He can quickly pull together the mental break that must’ve happened and recognizes that Hal had the very human ‘fight or flight’ response to what he had been through. He had always been treated like a sixth crew member, respected and talked to like anyone else but it is only “post Mortem” that Dave recognizes how human Hal was and that true emotion might be more than theorizing.

“And yet, in one very real sense, he was not alone. Before he could be safe, be must be lonelier still.” 153

The fact that Dave genuinely sees Hal as his last true connection. Even after the murders. How he fights and forgives and comes up with excuses to not have to go through with the enviable because then will he be truly alone… but he also knows logically- Hal isn’t right and can’t be left active. Despite his feelings safety and protocol come first.

Hal is human in Dave’s eyes and it makes things all the more tragic, it’s what turns shutting off functions into lobotomy, into murder. He thinks he won’t feel pain, not because he’s machine but because there’s no sense in the human cortex. So human that his “true” voice is unrecognizable and horrifying.

“Bowman could bare no more. He jerked out the last unit, and Hal was silent forever.” 157

It’s not rage which he makes the final blow, it’s sorrow. It’s pulling the plug.

Some of Hal’s lines in the book particularly, as we get more insight into him as well and some of his pleading. His honest to god confusion and panic because he’s so young and has no idea of sleep and …

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. . . You are destroying my mind. . . Don’t you understand? I will become childish. . . I will be nothing. . .” 156

I don’t know, I’m becoming borderline incoherent but there’s something here that’s so tender and sorrowful that I have to address it. I’m a sucker for the violence = intimacy metaphor just as anyone but the unwitting murderer is also an angle I have to adore.

Maybe in another life Hal got to be a little gay Victorian with someone to hold his hand on his sick bed rather than be murdered. I just think he deserves better; they both do.

Computer death sad -> he should be fed soup

This is when you know you should go to bed.

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet Cute - Ace's Story - 5

Source for pic

Firestarter 5

Word Count: 4862

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader, slight NSFW (It's mature, not explicit), slightly sugestive behaviour, flirting, jealousy, frenemies, sexual tension, miscommunication, unresolved tension, slight angst, slow-burn, romantic comedy vibes, alternate universe modern setting, swearing, drinking, fluff, feelings realisation, denial of feelings.

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You intended to have some alone time, to reflect and heal, but your childhood friend's older brother, Ace, seems to be there just to upset that fragile peace you're striving for. He's a flirt and a womaniser. But why does he also have to be so handsome and perfect? And how long can you resist his charms?

Notes: And just as things progress, they fall back again. Is it Ace's problem, or is it the fact that you have so much trouble trusting his intentions?

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48

Masterlist for previous introductory chapters.

|Previous Chapter| | |Next Chapter|

You refuse to let yourself be broken down by this. It's nothing you weren't expecting. You just need to remain cool, gather your wandering thoughts, and actually go back to acting like a friend around him, instead of acting like a jealous girlfriend. 

Because you are not!

You regret almost immediately blowing up in his face, but it’s such an uncontrollable feeling! And you are in no way entitled to it. You’re just his friend! Nothing else!

Though you're not quite sure why he was acting so cold towards you, it's nothing you don't deserve, seeing as you've treated him quite coldly during the party as well, maintaining your distance, trying to avoid exactly this feeling of powerlessness. 

Did he deserve the way you snapped at him? 

No. 

Were you right about it? 

No. Probably not. 

But seeing him shy away from your touch made you feel slighted, and made you feel, once more, like you're less than the girls he usually hooks up with. Like you're not enough. An empty feeling that settles somewhere around your stomach and makes you nauseous.

Shanks raises his eyebrow at you when you pass by him outside. Benn Beckman waves and you are forced to stop because you don't want to be rude to your father's good friend.

“Benn! Hi!”

He says your name and chuckles as he crosses his arms over his chest. “You're all grown up, look at you!”

“And what an interesting choice for an outfit…” Your father grunts as he spots Ace's shirt. 

Crumpling your smelly dress in your hands, you stutter before letting out a nervous laugh. “Right! I spilled a drink on my dress and A-... hmm, Ace lent me his shirt.” You mumble the last part as Beckman stifles a laugh with pursed lips. 

To his credit, Shanks controls himself rather well. He takes two deep breaths and tousles his hair, his eyes wandering around and stopping anywhere but on your own. “I, um… you… um… Is Ace…” He exhales sharply and you decide to cut both of your misery short. 

“Nothing is happening between me and Ace. I got way too drunk and Ace threw me in his bed  before I drank even more and-...”

“What?!” Shanks’ face reddens and Beckman whistles. 

“No, not like that, dad, come on! He just put me there to sleep it off before I passed out! He took care of me, nothing else.” You groan while hiding your face behind your hands. “God!” You squeal. “Can I go inside, please?”

“Yes!” Shanks grunts, exasperatedly and you disappear, Beckman’s laugh still echoing in your ears. 

-*-

You pace your room from one side to the other, phone in hand, hair still wet from showering, and dripping fat droplets on your bare shoulders as you still have the towel draped around your body. You've drafted about three different texts to Ace. And you've deleted them all. 

You want to apologise to him but, at the same time, you're still mad at him. So it's a weird feeling, one that hangs heavily upon your stomach. 

Sighing, you lock your phone and stand at your window, staring straight at Mr. Garp’s house. At Ace's window. 

Huffing your frustration into the air, you lean on the windowsill, one hand resting against your chin and the other crossed over your chest. 

You're obsessing. You know it. And you need to shake that feeling away! If you could just… 

“No!” Suddenly you gasp, your eyes opening wide. Snippets of last night start to play in your mind and you are rudely reminded of what you said to Ace. 

What you did to Ace. 

Ride that cowboy. Scratch that itch.

No! 

Did you really straddle Ace and try to kiss him? Did you suggest he should just fuck you so you could both move on? Have you no shame?

Your cheeks burn as your breath quickens. No wonder he was so cold with you in the morning! You treated him like a piece of meat! 

And he refused you again… 

But this time he was absolutely right! You were drunk! 

As if on cue, Ace opens his curtains, hair also dripping wet and towel on his waist. He's about to turn but he sees you. You can't see the expression on his face, but he doesn't seem to be smiling. 

You wave shyly. 

He doesn't. 

Sighing, you unlock your phone. You deserve the cold shoulder. But he deserves an apology. 

His phone doesn't even ring once before he picks it up, already guessing what you meant to do. 

“Hi.” You whisper and see him cock his head to one side, hand sitting on the side frame of the window, arm muscles flexing, and you thank the gods above for the distance because this is a very sinful image of him. 

“Hey.”

“I'm sorry. I…” You face-palm yourself in embarrassment. “Ugh! I just started to remember what I said and did to you last night! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!”

A few seconds pass before you're greeted by his chuckle. “Okay.”

“No, no! It's not okay!” You wave your hand in the air. “God, Ace! I’m so embarrassed even thinking about it. I didn’t mean any of it! Please, don’t take it seriously… alcohol does funny things to me!”

Even though you can’t see his expression from this far, you watch as he scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t even take it seriously yesterday. Don’t worry. I know you were pissed drunk, which I kind of warned you about, so that’s on you.” He still sounds very serious. 

“You were right. You were so right! And the things I've told you today? When all you wanted to do was help me and keep me safe…!? You were right to keep your distance from me this morning! I practically harassed you Ace, I'm sorry… I’m such a big idiot…” 

“I’m not upset with that, don’t worry.” His tone seems lighter, but he’s still holding back.

“Then if that wasn’t it, why were you acting so distant this morning?” Your voice is barely a whisper. You try to recall what you might’ve done wrong besides that whole riding him debacle, but you come up short. Unless you really were right and he wanted to hook up with someone and you cock-blocked him. 

He remains silent for a while, maybe weighing if you're worth sharing his reasons with or not. “Just hungover. Sorry about that.”

“I’m not sure I buy that answer.” Grunting, you sit at the windowsill, eyes never leaving his form. He shakes his head and gestures. 

“Don't sit like that, crazy! The window’s open! You might fall.”

A light chuckle escapes your lips. “So, does that mean you accept my apologies?”

He gives you a thumbs-up from across the window. “You're okay by my book, Firestarter. But seriously, get off from there.”

Raising your hand in a silent apology, you take your legs away from the window, sitting up. “I'm off the sill. And, for the record, I like that…”

“What?”

“Firestarter.”

His chuckle sounds warm this time and you smile at him, even though he might not be able to see the smile from where he's standing. 

“Yeah, I like that too…” 

You take a very deep, steadying breath, and the thought of hanging up crosses your mind. You should hang up. You don't want to get more involved. You really don't. You need space from him. You need to stop this obsession. 

“So, what are you going to do now?” He asks, putting an end to your miserable thoughts. 

Twirling a strand of hair in your hand, you take a step back. “Get out of this wet thing, dress, and I don't have any more plans today. Maybe I'll call Nami to see if she's going to the Jubilee.” 

You remember there being a fair there, with rides and other games, and a big Ferris wheel. You might check that out. 

“Need help with the dressing part?” He says cheekily and you realise he’s trying to get your flirty dynamic back on track, so that pulls a cheeky grin from your lips as well.  

Don't get involved. Space. Stop obsessing. He flirts with everyone!

“I can manage alone, cowboy.” 

You hear him chuckle again. “I'll be at the Jubilee later. The firemen have a little stand there, selling some merchandise and today is my day to manage it. If you go, stop by, will you? We have calendars.”

“Oh! You do? Like the sexy ones?”

“Could they be anything else when I'm on them?” You can practically hear his smirk over the phone. 

“Well I was thinking more about Luffy… And Robin says that your coworker Franky is quite the man as well… Maybe I'll see if they're featured in my favourite months.” 

You giggle at his reaction because he takes a step back with a hand over his heart. “And here I was, willing to sign your copy…”

“Well, if you put lipstick on and leave a kiss near your signature, I might get a copy, then!”

“It's a deal.”

Simple, easy, fun, natural. You sigh. You need to distance yourself from him but it's so hard. 

“Bye, Ace.” You whisper. Maybe you just have to resign yourself to pining and obsessing for an unattainable man forever. You're only hurting yourself, anyway. 

“See you later, Firestarter.”

-*-

The girls aren't free. It's one of their coworker’s birthday and there's a dinner and a party they need to attend, but they promise to join you to watch the fireworks at midnight. Since the rest of your friends are all at the Jubilee, you decide to go, even if you're going solo. 

Dressing casually in jeans, a halter top and a cardigan, you cross your fingers and pat your car affectionately before turning the ignition. It works perfectly and you realise you still haven't thanked Kid for fixing it. 

Finding a spot to park gives you a headache but you finally spot a minivan leaving and gleefully take its place since it's really close to the entrance. 

The festival looks really pretty with all the lights and music, and the sweet smells of candied apples and popcorn. People seem happy and that makes you smile as well. You spot your father and approach him to lay a kiss on his cheek and see how his back is. 

“I'm fine, bug. Benn is doing all the heavy work.” His friend chuckles as he lifts another kid by the waist so he can ride the pony. “You're alone?”

Nodding, you fake a pout. “Nami and Robin have a birthday party to attend.”

“And Ace?” He tries with a slight raise of his brow. 

You try to disguise a blush, but fail miserably. 

“He's working, dad. And we're just friends. Now I'm going to stroll around and say hi to people. Do you want a hotdog?”

He pats your head patronisingly. “I'm fine, bug! See you later.”

You say your goodbyes to your dad and Beckman and continue your stroll. There are homemade goods stands - jams, honey, dried meats - there are handmade product stands - jewellery, toys, linen - and that's where you spend most of your time, actually buying some handmade cute jewellery before you move on. 

There's a place for the animals - where your father is - and then, up ahead, the games and food section, where you intend to spend some time and hope to find familiar faces. But you intend to buy a hotdog first, since you skipped dinner at home, knowing there would be plenty of food to taste at the Jubilee.

You’re in line waiting and swaying your feet to the beat of the happy song, when your turn finally comes.

“A hotdog, please. With all the works!” You smile and fish out a bill from your wallet.

“Make that two and I’ll pay.”

A smirk appears on your lips as you look to your side only to be met with Ace’s wide grin. He’s wearing the fireman’s uniform, well, half of it anyway. He has the uniform pants on, but only a black t-shirt on top. A freaking fitted black t-shirt that showcases all of his ripped muscles. 

“You paid for the pizza, the other day. It’s my turn.” You whine and stand on tiptoes, trying to reach the lady behind the high counter of the food truck before Ace, but he’s taller and familiar with the lady, as it seems, because she smiles at him and takes the bill from his hand, completely ignoring you. 

“Come on, Firestarter, did you really think I was going to let you pay for food?”

“Yes!”

“Well, you were wrong.”

He receives the two hot dogs, thanks the lady and beckons you to follow him. You’re expecting him to go to the tables in the food section, but he goes into the back of the food truck and, after walking for a little bit, to a place less illuminated and away from the Jubilee, - completely ignoring your questions as to where he’s leading you - you realise you know where you are.

It’s the park. The kids’ playground where you used to play when you were younger. Except it has new toys now and an iron fence around it, with a gate that’s apparently locked at night. 

“Hold this.” He says and hands you the hotdogs. You do and he jumps the fence with ease by placing one hand on it and jumping over. You would be impressed, if the fence wasn’t just a very small thing that hits you around the waist. “No cheering?” He asks with a grin.

“A child could do that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, because then, this fence wouldn’t be necessary.” You bite back a chuckle as to not indulge his jokes, but he notices your amusement. Then, without notice, he reaches and picks you up, bridal style, to hoist you over the fence.

You yelp but you can’t do anything because both your hands are occupied with the food, so you let him carry you to his side of the fence, expecting him to put you down immediately, but he doesn’t. 

“You can put me down, Ace.” Did your voice falter? Because you’re sure it did.

He just smells so good. And he’s so warm, and taut, and he’s staring right into your eyes, making you shiver and hold your breath. You can’t stop staring at him as well and all you can think about is how good his lips would feel against yours, and are they as soft and juicy as they look?

Is he leaning in, though? He’s leaning in!

He’s leaning in!!

There’s an alarm blaring in your head telling you to pull back or to jump or drop a hotdog, anything to get you out of this situation, but you want this situation so badly. What is wrong with a kiss? Could your thoughts from the previous night be correct? If you scratch the itch, as Nami so eloquently put it, could you be free of it?

Sadly you don’t get to put that theory to the test, because both of you hear a low chuckle coming from the swings and the sound of old swing chains creaking.

“You guys are really adorable.”

“Deuce!?” Ace exclaims with a loud groan and you take the opportunity to swing your leg to the side and get away from Ace’s hold. You almost lose your balance, but his grip on your back doesn’t falter and you don’t fall. 

“I’m serious.” He sounds serious. “Adorable. I’m not even going to intrude. I was going to stay silent, smoke my blunt, and watch, but damn, do you two send out some extreme sexual vibes.” He laughs at your expression. You don’t look at Ace but you’re pretty sure he’s wearing a similar one. “Maybe work that out soon? It will become unbearable and one of you will explode.”

He looks purposefully at Ace, who gulps. 

“Now, I’ll really get out of your hair. For the price of a hotdog, please!” He smirks and you curve your lip upwards as well. He and Ace are quite similar, you can see why they get along. 

“Here, freeloader, beat it!” Ace removes one of the hotdogs from your hold and gives it to Deuce, who accepts it and then proceeds to take your hand in his again, ready to lay another kiss on the back of it, but Ace shoves him with his foot.

“I said beat it!”

He pretends to be hurt and leaves by simply opening the gate of the fence with a click and shaking his head at both of you with three tsks. You stare at Ace with a frown. “Did you know the gate was unlocked?”

“Maybe?” He shrugs and chuckles. “You can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Pacing forward with a fake pout upon your lips, you sit down at one of the swings. “Well you just lost yourself a hotdog.”

“Meh, I wasn’t even hungry.” He says but his stomach betrays him and you laugh.

“Take mine. I’ll buy another later, you’re probably on dinner break, right?”

He sits on the swing next to you and, after another bit of coaxing, takes the hotdog from your hand. “Yeah, I am. I need to get back in around fifteen minutes.”

You smile and start to swing back and forth, your hands gripping the chains of the swing. “Oh and you decided to spend that time with me? Should I be flattered?”

He stays silent for so long that you have to look at him twice because you think he might have choked on the bread. He just looks pensive and hasn’t even taken a bite of his meal. 

“It’s not supposed to be something to make you feel flattered. It’s not like you’re the chosen one, or whatever… I just like spending time with you.”

What did he mean by that? You’re the chosen one? You don’t get it.

“I don’t get it.” You say without slowing down your swinging. He remains quiet for a moment, his gaze fixed on the hotdog in his hands. 

“What I mean is…” he trails off, chasing the right words and you’re surprised. You didn’t take Ace as someone who could be at a loss for words. “I don’t have any ulterior motives when it comes to you. I just want to be with you. That’s it.”

He sounds so sincere that you use your feet to stop abruptly. What is he trying to say? That you’re somewhat special? Different from those other girls he spends time with? 

Then it hits you.

He wants to spend time with you as friends. That’s why you’re different. That’s why he doesn’t have ulterior motives. That’s why he keeps rejecting you. The kiss when you raced, the kiss at Luffy's party. It all makes sense. 

You take a deep breath and smile widely. “Yes, I love our friendship too, Ace. Thank you for spending time with me, as a friend. We’re good friends.”

Have you said the word friend enough? Or variations of it? Because by the defeated look on his face, you sure have. But why does he have a defeated look? Wasn’t that what he meant?

Then it hits you again. If you set the ‘friends’ bar, then the chase is over, and he lost, even if friends is all he ever wanted to be, right? That’s why he looks defeated. It has to be it.

Right?

Are you even making sense? It seems like your logic has some flaws, but you refuse to give them much thought. 

Sighing, he lets out a pained laugh. “Yes, we’re friends.” He says your name sternly and starts to eat his hotdog. The air becomes thicker and awkward and you don’t quite know how to make it light again, but Ace simplifies things for you by getting up abruptly, having finished his food in just two bites. 

His hand raises and he scratches the back of his head, trying to smile, but it never really reaches his freckles or his eyes. “Well, I’ve got to go back. Are you coming?”

“Yeah.” You nod and jump off the swing with a perfect landing. This time he opens up the gate of the fence and both of you leave. The silence is very uncomfortable and he whispers a short goodbye before heading back to his stand. 

You feel somewhat guilty for his mood, but you’re not sure you’ve done anything wrong. He’s the one with the commitment issues - you think. You’re just the one with the unmanageable obsession and trust issues. 

How is that supposed to even work?

A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you take a look around, exploring what you want to see next. You wanted to see the firemen’s calendar, but Ace didn’t invite you to go with him and you sense he might need some space. 

So you might as well hop onto the Ferris wheel to take in the view. After a surprisingly short amount of time in line, you get on and the view is amazing. The twinkling lights of the festival, the people wandering around, the excited kids and the smell of popcorn and candy floss. 

All of it brings a smile to your lips, even though your mood is still a bit sour from before. Yet the ride quickly comes to an end but not before bringing you some clarity of mind. You need to clear the air with Ace. You like being around him too much to let things remain awkward between you.

So you go in search of the fireman stand, hoping he’s not too mad at you.

However, you hear a rumbling noise and alarmed screams, and turn in time to see a collapsing stall near the vendors. There is a woman passing by that got trapped amongst the poles and the tarp and the rest of the stall seems about ready to collapse on top of her.

People are already gathering and trying to help, but you see a quick movement to your right and glimpse Ace running towards the action, a serious expression upon his face as his fireman training kicks in and he quickly frees the woman from the collapsing stall, earning a victorious cheer from the crowd and a smile from you.

Your heart flutters and you sigh. Ace really is something else.

“Are you alright?” He asks the woman and, even though the crowd disperses, your attention remains focused on him. The woman is very attractive. She has long, flowy blonde hair, a beautiful face and she’s clearly dressed to impress in a short, tight dress. 

Smiling at Ace and batting her eyelashes, she holds him in a tight hug. “Oh, I am! Thanks to you! I was so scared.” Her voice trembles and you don’t doubt one bit that she was scared. You were scared and you were a mere onlooker. Though her nails digging into Ace’s chest are a bit too much, you think. “You saved my life! How can I ever thank you?”

Her voice quickly turns from shaken to seductive and you raise an eyebrow. 

“I was just doing my job, m’am.” Ace chuckles and grins. That cute, cheeky grin that takes up his whole face and makes his freckles jump. Your stomach clenches and you bite the inside of your cheek. 

Ace lets go of the woman but she still lingers close, clearly interested. “Oh, none of this m’am business. You can call me by my name.” And then she leans in to whisper her name into his ear, her hand cradling his neck and he doesn't do anything to push her away. You scoff while turning around.

You just want to be friends. You don’t have to listen, or watch this. He can do whatever he wants. 

But as soon as you take another step forward, your attention still focused behind you, you bump into a stall, knocking over a display of jewellery and, clearly, announcing your position to the man you were attempting to leave behind. You apologise profusely, embarrassed, even though the older lady - it's Makino, one of your dad's friends! - tells you it's alright and not to worry. 

“Hey, you came back, I was afraid you left without saying goodbye. Need help?” Ace's voice reaches you from behind and you turn with a grimace, half-expecting him to be with the woman from before, but he's alone. 

Forcing a smile, you shake your head while your hands keep tidying up the display. “It's fine, I'm fine. Thanks. You can go back to your… uh… fan?” You shrug and smirk. 

“Don't be like that. I was just being polite, it's part of the job.” He makes his point by crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“It's good to know that all firefighters let themselves be fondled by the women they save. Maybe I should get myself into some trouble just to earn the same benefits.” The last part comes out in an almost incomprehensible mumble but he still catches it. 

“Like you'd need to be in trouble to fondle me. Just say when. Right here? Right now?”

You bite your tongue to stifle a laugh because you were meant to be annoyed at him. But it's nice that he's actually joking, after the weird atmosphere left between the two of you on the swings. So you don't say anything else on the matter. More so because you spot a beautiful bracelet on the stand: it's orange and it has one feather hanging. It's a charm bracelet. And you're actually charmed. 

Ace notices the way you're enamoured by it and reaches for his wallet. “Hey, Makino, I'll take the bracelet for the pretty lady, please.” He grins at the older lady behind the counter and she chuckles at him with a glint in her eyes. 

“No, Ace, come on! Stop buying me things!” You blush because Makino starts to giggle at both of you. 

“Never.” He states and hands a bill to pay for the bracelet.”

“Thank you, Ace. You've got good taste.” She winks and turns her face to you, but then her grin turns mischievous. “But you know, those charms come as a set.” She grabs another bracelet, this one blue with two feathers. “Here, this one should be worn by you.”

Your blush deepens as Ace grins and takes the charm. “Really?”

“Oh, no, Ace, that's not necessary! We don't need to have matching anythings.” You turn to Makino and shake your head. “We're not together!”

She simply laughs as Ace ties the bracelet around his right wrist. 

“I don't care what you say. We're twinsies, now.”

You want to face-palm from embarrassment but end up laughing with him. You're struggling to get your bracelet on, but before you get the chance to ask Ace to help you, the attractive woman he rescued comes sauntering over to him. 

“Here you are, handsome. Let me pay you that drink now, as a thank you.” 

All these things happen at the same time and you barely register them: The woman snakes an arm around Ace's and pulls him, kissing him on the cheek affectionately, Makino frowns at Ace and the woman, the cord of your bracelet snaps from the added pressure, and you gasp with surprise. 

“Uh… I…”

Ace starts but you save him the embarrassment of having to make up some lie. “It's okay, Ace. I was just leaving anyway. Go have fun.”

Makino grumbles something beneath her breath - you’re pretty sure she’s calling the lady a lot of unspeakable things - as she snatches the bracelet from your hands and, with deft and nimble fingers, trades the broken cord in a heartbeat. 

“I can stay.” He mutters, but you see the woman's nails digging into his biceps as she leans her breasts towards his body and smirks at you, daring you, provoking you and, clearly stating that you know she’s better than you, prettier, more interesting. Your heart clenches and tightens. 

You'll only ever just be friends. Nothing more. He doesn't want to kiss you because you don't look like that. You're not that attractive. You made your ex cheat on you because you're not good enough. 

God, now is not the time to tear up. “No. I'm leaving.” You thank Makino politely for fixing your bracelet but you don't put it on. Instead, you turn away and will your feet to walk fast, one in front of the other, your fist clenched against the bracelet. 

“Wait!” He calls your name but you don't stop, you're pretty sure he saw the beginning of your tears and you know that if you turn now, they will leave the safety of your eyes and you’ll break.

You can't cry over him because you're nothing to him. 

One step in front of the other. 

“Wait!”

But you don't wait. You leave him to his new girl. Who's everything you will never be able to be for him. 

One step in front of the other. 

You didn't want to be just another one, anyway. So being nothing will have to suffice.