#he HAS done an emotional speech before. why would they be unsure if he could do it again?

[whynotimtired]

There's something in Finn wolfhard being a breakout star in s1 and humongous names like Steven Spielberg saying that the kids changed the limitations of child acting bc they're so good. And then suddenly Finn wolfhard after S4 being known generally as the worst one, as the guy who can't act, just "not as good" as everyone else. Because of the monologue. The monologue the writers praised and hyped up as his best work, as something they didn't know if he could do bc he hadn't ever done it before, generally something they were really proud of.

So, if his supposed "best work" is something that people come away from feeling like it's his worst? That means there's a disconnect in the way the writers are looking at the scene vs the way the general audience sees it, which is funny bc if we look at that scene at face value, he's confessing his love. So if theres something deeper about the scene that changes the meaning, that changes that scene from bad acting to great acting, from a love confession to...

[silverflqmes]

agszc and the WAY THEY SAY I LOVE YOU CAUSE I'M STILL SCREAMING OVER CLOUD'S DATING HCS YOU MADE SNSKDJKD

໒⦂ ( 𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ) 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

notes. you might be confused with the use of parenthesis but it’s exactly what you think.. not all of them ACTUALLY say those words.. read and see🫡

genre. fluff + angst ( sephiroth’s )

for @melukonova <3

ft. sephiroth, cloud strife, zack fair, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley

disclaimer. ok, poetry IS NOT my strong suit, from time to time i experiment with it but i am not the best at it so keep criticism tame please..

gender neutral! reader.

➫ 𝓢𝗘𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ sephiroth’s confession would be something that requires patience. he doesn’t have much experience with love, as he wasn’t exposed to it much throughout his life.

⌗ it doesn’t mean he’s incapable of feeling it, rather, it’s a matter of him truly realizing those feelings he has and how deep they run. now the way those words come out.. would likely be influenced by heightened emotions.

a beat of silence passed before the the silver haired hero closed the door, turning to face you with an expression you weren’t certain his features were even capable of making. “what were you thinking??”

he was distressed, brows knitted together as you watched his chest rise and fall unevenly, each breath more irregular than the last. you assumed it was anxiety — something you’d never associated with sephiroth.. until now, that was. “i was doing my job, an injury or few is unavoidable at times, you know that.” came your mumble, feeling your own brows furrow.

of course he knew that, the top hero knew that better than anyone.. but this. “there are other ways to get things done, what you did today was completely reckless — as though you had no care whatsoever for your life.” he argued, moonlight bangs swishing from right to left when his head shook. “you could have died!”

now it was your turn to get frustrated as you stood up from your place despite your aching muscles, walking up to his broad frame. “and that’s suddenly an issue now? our line of work demands for us to risk our lives everyday no matter the mission! we both knew this going into our relationship, so why are you suddenly so worked up over this??” you matched his tone, not fond of the approach he’d taken in addressing you.

“because i nearly lost you!” he shouted, overcome with emotions so powerful, he couldn’t even stop the onyx, gloved hands that flew to your shoulders, clinging desperately to something.. something even he didn’t know of.

his breath stuttered as he lowered his head, trembling in his place. “i can’t.. i-i can’t have you leave me, too…” the first class SOLDIER whispered in a voice so broken, so defeated, you had to remind yourself that behind this towering, imposing powerhouse.. was a human being, with feelings of his own, no matter how well he hid them. a human that knew loss, and an unwelcomed amount of it.. and feared more of it.

unsure of what to do, you pulled him down into a hug, feeling your anger fade into nothingness as you allowed your eyes to close. “i won’t, not ever.”

➫ 𝓒𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗗 𝓢𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ he says get help but he’s the one that needs help.. bro just, he can’t say it — he’s too embarrassed and he just doesn’t rlly know how to bring it across properly..

⌗ in the end, he opts for a more subtle method that aerith had once told him about. it required minimal speech on his end, and called for actions to take the reigns — perfectly up his alley.. as long as you got the memo.

“cloud?” you called out in surprise, turning to find a familiar spiky haired blond with an ivory colored flower in between his gloved fingers.

his lightly tanned cheeks were dusted with a tint of pink, seemingly reddening as he held out his hand, averting his gaze. “you said you wanted me to bring you something back from my delivery in sector five.. figured i’d bring something you don’t find everyday here.”

your knowledge of flowers was minimal, as midgar.. wasn’t exactly filled with them. you only rarely saw them from a distance, and on the occasions that you had, normally they were too pricey to purchase.

somehow, however, the owner of strife delivery services seemed to have gotten his hands on one singular flower. when you’d ask for a small souvenir from his travels, it had been a joke, simply you joshing like you normally had with him.. though it appeared this time, that he had taken it seriously.

you cleared your throat, letting out a sheepish laugh. “you didn’t have to do that, but thank you — i’ve.. never received a flower before, much less held one..” you confessed in a soft tone, taking the bloom from his grasp as you brought it close to your face.

even without leaning in to take in its scent, the sweetness greeted your senses as a smile etched itself onto your lips. “aah~ it smells wonderful, what kind of flower is it??”

he rubbed his neck at the question, feeling himself grow more nervous by the second. “it’s um.. it’s called gardenia. aerith’s mom insisted i took one back with me, since they were the newest edition to her garden.. said something about it having a deeper meaning, too.” cloud spoke up, finally lifting his mako-azure eyes to meet yours.

you lowered the flower in your hands, tilting your head. “deeper meaning? i didn’t think flowers were so complex.” you snickered into your free hand before grinning brightly at him. “but, go on. i’m curious!”

the tips of his ears seemed to burn with red as his lips parted before he turned his back to you, folding his arms. “o-on second thought, i forgot..”

“WHAT?? no way, it must be good if you won’t say! come on cloud!” you urged him, moving in front of him to see his face, but all you caught was the faintest smile as he continued to turn away. so cryptic!

➫ 𝓩𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝓕𝗔𝗜𝗥 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ zack uh- as we can tell, he isn’t exactly the ‘think before you speak’ kinda guy — whatever comes out, comes out.. with no regard to how blunt or sudden it might end up sounding.

⌗ now how would that apply to a confession? well, i think he would just say it without even thinking of the impact behind his words. it would just come out naturally, casually.. and you would end up staring like- did he fr just say that??

a sigh left your lips as you turned the page of the newest issue you’d picked up of shinra’s very own magazine, because what didn’t the prestigious electric company have to their name?

meanwhile zack was busying himself with yet another set of squats, clearly antsy. missions had been quiet as of late, mundane even. at the moment, you were both occupying the second class floor, waiting for orders.. but nothing came.

a groan left the nicknamed puppy’s lips as he halted his movements before draping finally himself onto the spot on the couch you hadn’t occupied. “man i bet the firsts are out kicking ass! they really don’t have anything for us to do here??”

you licked your thumb to flip to the next spread, humming. “unless you feel like getting involved with professor hojo’s questionable ass tasks, i’d rather sit here in boredom.” you confessed, missing the grimace on his face since your eyes remained on the passage you had been reading.

“i guess you have a point.. but still.” he pouted, leaning into your face as a means of getting your attention. “can’t we go ask lazard?? he’s gotta have something by now for us, right?!”

a laugh seemed to leave your lips at his complaints as you lifted your eyes at last to meet his zircon ones, a smile stretching across your lips. “and, what? have him tell us no for the fifth time in the last two hours?”

his appendages seemed to part in protest before they jutted out once more. “w-well! for all we know a mission could have popped up on that computer of his right now! with angeal and them gone, they’re bound to ask us! i’m sure of it!” the second class SOLDIER insisted, clenching his fists in determination. “come on, y/n! it beats reading whatever propaganda you’re reading!”

it was partly true, shinra’s magazine went on and on about sephiroth’s feats if it wasn’t already in the daily paper or news. and one look at those puppy eyes had you crumbling. damn him for that effortlessly adorable face..

“fine, we’ll ask one last time.. but if he says no, you owe me a drink from the vending machine since i paid last time!” you huffed out, tossing your copy back on the the coffee table as you stood up with your hands on your hips.

as though sparkles had appeared in his eyes, zack hopped to his feet before engulfing you in a tight hug. “for real?? you’re the best, y/n!! i love you! i love you! i love you!!”

➫ 𝓖𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝓡𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗢𝗦 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ah, the romantic and the one that does too much because everyone else ain’t doing enough ( his words ) — genesis. you can expect a very enigmatic brain scratching confession..

⌗ or in other words, the cheesiest kind of confession that involves poetry, some form of incorporation with loveless, and just some frivolous display of his affections for you in case you don’t pick up on the hints..

“y/n, my dear! won’t you hang back awhile? our work is done for today.. perhaps you’ll indulge me in a piece i worked on, hm?” the redhead spoke up, causing you to pause in your tracks as you blinked over at him.

a piece? “you mean.. poetry?” you inquired for certainty, surprised that he had the spare time to be writing something. “i’m not the best at deciphering metaphors and whatnot.. but i’d be willing to hear what you have.” you smiled, eager to see what he had been working on in his free time.

“not to worry!” he waved you off, pulling out a small notebook from his long coat. “even the foolish and emotionally unintelligent, like our beloved sephiroth could understand!” genesis laughed out, fearless of his friend — or in his eyes, rival — as usual.

you let out a nervous chuckle as you pulled up a chair to hear what he’d prepared, praying that your silver haired friend did not hear.. not that he would care, anyway. just genesis being genesis.. “well um, i’ll do my best to somewhat comprehend what you wrote.” you offered, anyway, placing your hands on your lap as a means of resting them.

the male dressed in crimson took it as a sign to commence, lifting his fist up to clear his throat before holding up his poem. “in a bed of asters, the tears of the goddess.. blossoms a favored one amidst a world or filth and endless disasters — a beauty that wears star formed petals for a bodice..and adorns droplet shaped blades of which its creator once wept.” genesis paused, trailing a finger down to the next line. “one day, a new flower would emerge — tall, scarlet, and proud.. tenderly well kept, and yet.. as sorrowed as a rain cloud.”

you almost wanted to question why, curiosity overtaking you despite the urge to giggle at a few.. choice of words he made. how couldn’t you when it was so reminiscent of the usual reciting he did of his most favorite work of literature.

compelled by your zealousness, you fed into your inquisitiveness. “why was it sorrowed?”

a soft chuckle tumbled past his lips at the awe in your voice as he closed the book with a low hum. “for it was loveless, without its starry accomplice.. that bloomed on a path far away enough to diverge.” he finished gently before sliding a hand to your cheek. “nevertheless, that is but fiction.. as our paths will remain entwined, and my heart shall not bleed with my beloved star around.”

➫ 𝓐𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝓗𝗘𝗪𝗟𝗘𝗬 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ah, yes, the confession of his love.. yet another unspoken way of proclaiming his feelings for you, although i believe his method may just be a little more meaningful.. but just a little.

⌗ however, what would call for the confession exactly, and the realization of his feelings? personally, i believe it’d have either been something in the heat of the moment — in other words, you being in danger, or perhaps.. an inquiry, in regards to the buster sword glued to his back.

“earlier..” your began, eyeing your lover with a curious gaze. “that was the first i’d ever seen you draw the buster sword.. for the longest time, i convinced myself it was decorative, or something.. but there’s more to it, isn’t there?”

the rag in angeal’s hand came to a pause at the question, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. “i remember zack asking me that several times before and i still haven’t presented him with a proper answer.” he mused, eyes softening as he gazed upon his weapon. “growing up, my family was not one for riches. we had enough to get by, thankfully, but making money was hard work on my parents — specifically my father.”

a breeze passed through the few strands of hair that frames his face as he gazed upon the sky. “still, he had wanted to gift me something for passing the SOLDIER exam, and had this forged for me.” he smiled gently, closing his eyes. “it took him a very long time to recover financially for his debts in having this buster made, so long that it cost him his very life in the end..” the first class SOLDIER spoke up, allowing his eyes to lower back down to the blade in his hands. “and so, i do my best to avoid bringing any wear, tear or rust upon it.. as it represents not only my dreams and honor, but the efforts and sacrifice for its creation.” he finished steadily, finally meeting your stare. “but for you, i would draw it without a second thought.”

your boyfriend was already impressive to begin with- the most humble and noble person you had come to know.. but this? it had left you in complete awe to know how sentimental he truly was, despite his stoic demeanor. and for him to have used his beloved weapon to shield you from harm — what did that mean? that he.. held you in higher regard than it..?

“you.. you would do that for me?” your inquiry was stupid, as he had done it once already, earlier in fact.. but angeal nodded, regardless, the small smile on his lips expanding, even if it was just a pinch wider.

“if it guarantees your safety.. in a heartbeat.” he answered with little delay, a fondness in his mako tinted eyes — one that he only ever really showed to you.

notes. zack being the only one who actually says i love you verbatim.. meanwhile the others are cryptic and expect you to guess ( cloud.. genesis.. ) or say it without needing to say those three words.. crazy tbh

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[vay99]

Chifuyu x reader

Wounds

Anime/Manga: Tokyo revengers

"And another strike!" you cheer, score far ahead of Chifuyu who's currently sulking over the reults. "Awww don't be upset, you'll win eventually. One time you will win. Someday." 

"Thanks for the motivational speech." he grumbles as you two make your way out off the bowling center. 

"Any time." you laugh, wrapping your arms around his. "What's next?" 

"We can go to my place and play some video games." he suggests, scratching his neck with his free arm.

Before you could answer a group of men gets in your way, surrounding you. 

"Hey you! We've heard that you're from Toman. What's a looser like you doing here with such a bad chick?" one guy laughs making you wanna punsh his brain out. 

"Yeah why don't you get fucked while we have some fun with her." another laughs and if Chifuyu wasn't mad already he'd be boiling now. But... 

"Hey babe, why don't you ditch your boyfriend for me?" one guy steps closer to you being in the perfect range for you to kick his ribs into pieces. 

"I may not be a captain in Toman but I'm the one who taught them how to beat loosers like you are up." you smile as you use an uppercut to break another's chin. 

*20 minutes of fighting later*

16 guys knocked out on the ground has you smiling with satisfaction. Meanwhile Chifuyu knocks out his last opponent before sitting down on the street. 

"Chifuyu are you alright?" you kneel down next to him. 

"Yeah no worries, I just took a punsh in the face." he laughs it off as his nose starts bleeding. 

"No worries my ass, come with me we'll treat your wounds." you take his hand in yours as you walk to your house which is close by.

"It's not that bad." 

"Your face is not a punishing bag, it's not made to resist strong impacts. Yet you always get your face beaten in all colors of the rainbow." you point out as you make him sit down in the kitchen. 

"I like the rainbow." he puffs his cheeks. 

"Use make up not fists to decorate your face with it the next time." you ruffle his hair. 

"Do you have lipsticks in all 6 colors? If yes you could cover my face with lipstick stains then." 

"Wow they must've hit your head pretty bad." you fight back a smile, Chifuyu loves to tease-flirt from time to time but becomes shy right away. 

"They did but still." 

"I'll get my make up set when we're done then." 

Whenever you two hang out your friends would comment how you look like a couple or more than just friends. They'd call Chifuyu your boyfriend all the time. All the flirting doesn't help you two when you say that you're friends. You're unsure if it's just playful teasing or if he's for real so you two just keep going in circles. 

Cleaning the scratches and his bloody nose you loose yourself in your thoughts. 

/Now I wanna punsh these douchebags even more, his nose looks pretty bad. I can't take this, he's strong but if something happens to him I could never-/

"Hey, why are you crying?" Chifuyu asks, wiping the tear that escaped your glassy eyes. 

"Oh I just got emotional for a second, hate seeing my friends getting beaten up." you explain, rubbing your eyes. 

"I used to get beaten up even more before you thought me some tricks. Now I just take some hits and knock them all out." Chifuyu poses with his arms which makes you giggle. 

"Sure you do, I'll show you some more tomorrow." 

Silence surrounds you again as you put the plaster on his face. 

"That guy called me your boyfriend... why didn't you correct him?" he breaks the silence again, avoiding your eyes. 

"I liked the sound of it." you answer honestly, shrugging your shoulders. 

"Ouch ouch ouch that stings." he whines as you use medical alcohol to clean his wound on the lip.

"The more you whine the longer it'll take." you keep the tissue on his lip. 

"I can't feel my lip anymore." Chifuyu complains, tugging on his lower lip Inc you remove the tissue. 

"Let me test that." you wipe your thumb over his lip a finger under his chin. 

"How-oh. Sure." he looks at your lips and then into your eyes. 

"You felt that?" 

"No." Chifuyu gulps, one hand holding onto the shirt your wearing. "Maybe something else might help". 

"Anything particular in mind?" you step right in front of the chair, leaning down slightly. 

"The lipstick idea sounded nice. But for now please do it without the lipstick."

"You could've just asked me to kiss it better." you whisper, pressing a kiss on his swollen cheek and then on his nose. While his cheeks explode in a red blush you switch to his lips, softly moving against his. 

"No feeling yet, do it again, please." Chifuyu says not even a second after you remove your lips. "I don't feel pain when your lips are on mine." he flirts, leaving kisses from your neck until your collarbone. 

"Oh my bad boy huh~" you chuckle squishing his cheeks as you softly press another kiss on his lips. 

"Always~ And I'll omg is that a cake." he notices the chocolate cake on the cupboard. 

"Aaand bad boy is crossed out of my list of nicknames." you sigh as you hand him something to cool his lip with. "You'll get some later, use that cool pack first your lip is swollen."

"But I'm hungry now."

"Well if you wanna whine instead of cuddling up on my couch and get you face covered with kisses then it'll be that way." you leave him as his brain processes what you just said and immedi ately runs after you.

"I want kisses more than cake!"

[procrastinating-panda]

...Well I'm flattered.

Title: …Well, I’m flattered

Plot: Gideon suspects something of you that you find odd.

Pairing: Jason Gideon x fem reader (romantic)

Warning: “other dealings” “Y/N”

Word Count: 1.4K

Jason has been more observant towards you lately, he was more generous, sweet, and kind. Making you breakfast, and dinner and offering to meet for lunch. Jason was more physically affectionate as well, you didn’t mind the extra kisses, hugs and other dealings. Gideon came home early as he was doing more often, he called beforehand telling you to not make dinner because he bought food.

When he got home the first thing he did was hold you for longer than usual, at this point you enjoyed the extra affection but now it was worrying you. “Is something going on Jason?” Your husband tenses up in a way you’re not sure you’ve ever seen before. “Well, I’ve noticed some behaviours in you lately, some changes in diet and mood-” Quickly cutting him off you ask. “Are you profiling me, Jason?” Immediately he becomes apologetic. “No of course not I just think that-” Not sure how to say what he was suggesting he became flustered and nervous.

“I think that you may be-” Unsure of what he is trying to say and somewhat defensive about him profiling you, “What Jason?” You try to insist that he finishes his sentence, and he does. Blurting out. “I think you’re pregnant!” Shocked beyond belief you sat down with your mouth agape staring at the man you love, who doesn’t seem to know what to say and has been struggling to find the words for some time. Whatever reaction or emotion Jason was expecting from you spontaneous laughter is the last thing he expected.

“Why are you laughing?” You tried to answer him but your laughter was uncontrollable. “Y/N! This is serious.” You try your best to answer him in between laughing. “I’m sorry….. It’s just that…Well, I’m flattered.” Gideon takes your hands calming you down. “What do you mean you’re flattered?” “Well, don’t you think I’m a little old for that?” The both of you were around the same age sure you were a bit younger but pregnant was outrageous. Your husband cups your face, and you remind yourself how his large, strong and calloused hands feel on your face. “I think you’re wonderful.” You quickly rebuttal. “That’s not an answer.” “If you’d let me finish,” he says calmly while gently stroking your bottom lip. “You haven’t exactly crossed that threshold yet.”

“Is that why you’ve been so sweet lately?” You grilled. “For you, I’m always sweet.” He says in that suave sweet tone you like trying to distract you. “No. No, first you would call if you would be home late.” Jason shakes his head and tries to insist. “I always do that.” “No, you don’t then you would leave work early and you haven't allowed yourself to get caught up in a case. We have more date nights and you haven’t missed one. Wanting us to spend more time together.”

“I’m trying to be a better husband.” You believe him but know that it isn’t the full truth. “Then how come every time we spend time together it’s never something active? Like hiking, you love hiking anytime I suggest we go you shut it done.” “I don’t want you to overexert yourself.” This time he was telling the truth. “Because you think I’m pregnant.” You utter softly. “Instead of telling me you invented reasons for us to spend time together so you could profile me.” Jason felt a sudden need to explain himself after reading the anguish on your face. “Y/N you are my wife, I spend time with you because I want to, because love you.” The pause in his speech worries you. “It’s just that I noticed something and I-” Cutting in. “Couldn’t help yourself.” You finish his sentence for him. “We should’ve talked about this like adults, husband and wife, instead I’m observed like an unsub.”

Guilt washed over the profiler’s face as he saw how what he did made you feel. An apology was springing from the deepest parts of him before he could say sorry you relent. “I’m tired, I’m gonna lie down.” “Wait!” This stops you in your tracks you turn to face him. “We need to consider the possibility that you might be pregnant.” Getting caught up in the argument you completely forgot about that, as great as a profiler Jason is there is no way he was right.

Anxiously you crossed your arms stroking your forearms considering the possibility. “How do we know that it isn’t the exact opposite that happening? The symptoms of menopause are very similar to pregnancy. Whatever symptoms you’ve observed-” You don’t finish your sentence beginning another one. “I think I would know if I was-” You cut yourself off taking in a deep sigh and then a seat, thinking about your week, what you’ve eaten, done and said, then finally concluded with. “I don’t know.” He reaches into the bag he brought and pulls out a pregnancy test. Worried that he might be right you rush to the bathroom.

After some time Gideon begins banging on the bathroom door startling you. “Would wait it hasn’t done anything yet!” “Could you at least open the door?” You hurriedly oblige. The test was still on the sink, with your heart beating a mile a minute and your breathing all over the place Jason sees that you need comfort and allow him. Distress was met with kisses to the forehead, rubbing of your shoulders and long soothing hugs his arms were exactly what was needed to console you. Consolation wasn’t long-lasting as the pregnancy test clearly showed that you were carrying. There was no speech but plenty of deep breaths all around. Every thought whirling threw your head landing in your stomach making you feel sick.

“I don’t feel so good.” Your husband ushered you to a seat, he sat in front of you perhaps waiting for you to say something, but you didn’t instead tears started streaming down your face, which you weren’t aware of until he reached for you to dry your face. “Oh, wow, I hadn’t noticed.” Still holding your face he asks you something. “Are you ok? How do you feel?” You look up at him. “I don’t know how I feel, how to feel, hungry I guess.” Both of you let out a chuckle at your last statement. Walking over to the takeout your husband brought earlier you find that it’s cold. Suddenly dizziness comes over you and you take a few steps back holding your head.

Then your husband makes a welcomed suggestion. “How about I warm that up and bring it up for you?” Nodding in agreement you tried to head upstairs when you felt you needed steadying so you turned around and hugged your husband. Awed and amused he returns your affection, holding you and massaging your back. Quickly pulling away you place your hand between the both of you. “I’m still upset with you,” Gideon responds by quickly leaning forward to fake bite your hand causing you to yank your hand out of the way. An outburst of laughter echoes through the kitchen at this odd interaction. Smiling then cupping Jason’s face. “I am still upset.” “I know.” Gideon pauses to kiss your head gently. “I understand,” He sighs. “Go lie down, I‘ll warm this up and bring it to you.”

Much flows through your mind as you head up the stairs at an incredibly slow pace, when you reach the top you think about how sad your husband’s eyes were when he told you he understood and you decided that you needed to do something and so you call you to him and he comes running thinking there is something wrong. After assuring him that you were ok you tell him. “I love you, Jason.” “I love you too.” There is a small pause as the two of you stare at each other longingly. Gideon clears his throat. “I’ll get you the food then set up the couch.” Carefully considering everything that’s happened and all that is going to happen you decide that you wanted him with you. “No Jason, I want you to sleep in our bed tonight. Ok?” This puts a smile on his face. “Ok.”

[immortalled]

hi! i’m so sorry if this is strange, i’m just working on a story and i’d love a second opinion ^^’ no pressure to answer this at all! it’s very hard to explain without proper context so bare with me

i was wondering how you think nathan would react upon finding out he’s the only person who can kill a creature that’s been plaguing him and his friends for a while, in a sort of IT inspired way? most of his friends would be dead at this point, so it’d be like a heroic attempt to make up for their losses by strapping himself with explosives lmao

he’d be around the age he appears in the show but in a tiny rural town setting with no powers

it’s a little up in the air for me on whether he would do it and what could happen afterwards, i’ve kept this quite vague mostly because it is just a loose storyline i’ve strung together while listening to a song, but if it sparks anything for you i’d love to hear!

Hi, Nonnie! Not strange at all! I love talking to people. ♥ (And apologies in advance, this got long because I started analyzing him LOL. Please feel free to skip the analysis under the cut if that doesn't interest you.)

Okay, so first off, I'm flattered you're asking me, and secondly, this sounds like a really fun fanfiction. If you're comfortable, I'd love to read it! If you ever post it on Ao3, please feel free to drop me a link! I'll subscribe!! c:

As for your question... Of course, please do always play with him however you want! I'm far from any kind of... idk, definitive authority on his character LOL, and fancreations are your own sandbox, so I'd never want anyone to change what they want to do based on my or anyone else's personal interpretation of a character. But! My personal two cents is that whether or not Nathan would sacrifice himself like that is really down to how strong his connection with his friends has grown and if he thinks there is anything to gain or save by doing so!

Nathan Young is a character who loves living. He's the embodiment of the early 2010s YOLO motto and that particular brand of unapologetic, teenagery/young adult joie de vivre attitude is why I think the storm gave him immortality as a super power. The rooftop scene in the S1 finale is a great example of this and his entire speech about going crazy while you're young, even if it's dangerous, is actually a really solid look into Nathan's worldview and what seems to drive his impulses. In fact, I think rewatching that entire episode might help you get a better perspective on Nathan and how he might handle the situation in your fanfic!

So, that is to say, I don't think mortal!Nathan is the kind of person to sacrifice his life for anything without very good reason. In fact, I'd argue that he wouldn't at all without immortality as a safety net. He's kind of a coward at times and tends to dodge anything painful or unpleasant, be it emotional or physical. But let's look at the times he sacrificed or almost sacrificed himself in canon!

S1E6 - Falling from the Wertham Community Centre. Nathan does not know he's immortal here and he almost doesn't go back for his friends at all. He only decides to try stopping Virtue because he's been pushed to the edge and realizes how much his weird little ASBO family means to him. Without them, he's totally alone again, and Nathan hates being alone. Although, in fairness, I also do not think Nathan believed there was a possibility of dying in this scenario. Rachel was mind-controlling people, not murdering them, and he clearly did not account for the fact that either of them would lose their balance. I am unsure that he would have done any of this had he known he might not make it out alive... maybe if he had exhausted all other options? Either way, the key here is that he did take risks because he thought he could still save his friends.

S2E2 - Trying to save Jamie. Nathan doesn't think before running toward the burning car to save his half-brother. He could have died here because the ecstasy he took reversed his power, but it's unclear whether or not he heard Simon's warning or if it would have made a difference. Considering how blind the reaction looked, I don't think being immortal or mortal would have mattered. But, still, he was acting on the hope that he could save Jamie.

S2E4 - Almost lets Tim gut him. In order to keep his friends from being killed by Tim the Crazy GTA NPC, Nathan agrees to be killed in their stead. However, he has to be pressured into it by his friends despite knowing he will come back to life. I think Nathan would have deeply regretted it if he had let Tim kill them, but in that moment he was far more afraid of the pain of death than anything else.

S2E6 - Suicide for fame and going toe-to-toe with the Murderous Milkman. This is one of the best examples of Nathan's growth and how he has begun to cope with his power in an extremely unhealthy way. In this episode, we see him toy with the idea of allowing himself to be killed for fame (albeit not without a little bit of peer pressure from his manager), which he does on-camera. We also see him try to legitimately fight someone for the first time when he seeks out Brian specifically for revenge after learning Brian murdered Kelly. In both instances, Nathan knows he will or could die, but he's willing to go through with it anyway because he's immortal. Dying hurts, it sucks, but he's learning to see it as something unimportant when he's able to come back to life. Obviously, he wouldn't kill himself on camera without immortality, but I think it's fair to question whether or not he'd attack someone out of revenge for a dead friend. Maybe? I don't personally think so, but it might be worth watching this episode again and analyzing the scene for yourself.

S2E7 / The "Christmas Special" - Blocking a gunman from shooting his friends. I admittedly have some beef with the characterization and overall writing of this episode, but I don't think that this particular scene is OOC. In this episode, an armed gunman bursts into the bar where Curtis works and is about to shoot. Nathan wastes no time getting in front of the gun and telling him to shoot, who cares, he's immortal. It's all very badass until he's reminded uh oh! he sold his power and is actually mortal now. Realizing that, Badass Hero Nathan vanishes and he flings himself out of the way to avoid being shot (which gets Nikki killed in the process). Now, obviously, this scene is set up entirely just to fridge Nikki and you could argue that Nathan isn't as close to Nikki as his other friends, but I don't think that would have mattered. If Nathan, mortal, had the choice between jumping between his friends and a bullet or hiding... I really do think he'd hide.

Don't get me wrong, Nathan can be selfless and heroic. The fact that he's immortal does not cheapen the fact that he was willing to endure the pain of death and what appears to be a very unpleasant resurrection process for the sake of potentially saving or avenging his friends. Nathan's an ass, and he's regularly selfish, but he is not a bad guy and he sticks his neck out for people he loves way more often than any of them give him credit for. But I also just do not think that he'd be willing to sacrifice or get himself hurt if he had no supernatural "take-backs". If he sacrificed himself, I think it would have to be accidental, as with running to save Jamie; some great, fatal risk that he does not consider fatal because he's too wrapped up in an emotion greater than his fear of dying.

For your story, I think you would have to either push him to the point of not being able to think past a greater fear, or you would have to remove all other options from him. Friends gone, family gone, way of living, maybe even the rest of the world, gone. Or perhaps he's trapped, somehow, in a place where he can't return to the rest of the world? Maybe he's stuck in a place where it will forever be just him and the monster that's been hounding them. I think that he would have to sit with that revelation for a while, wear down, and then maybe he would seriously consider destroying himself to destroy the creature, if the alternative is too suffocating and grim to bear. Whatever the reason, without his friends to save, the catalyst for his decision would need to be something that directly affects Nathan, not people who are no longer alive.

Anyway, that's just my very long two cents. Again, fictional characters are up to interpretation and I think most any character can be pushed and changed to do whatever you want in the right circumstances, especially AUs. So don't let my opinions stop you if you want to take his character a different direction! The most important thing is to have fun and write the story you want to tell. c:

If you have any more thoughts or want to brainstorm some ideas, though, I'm happy to bat around some stuff with you and see what sticks! I read IT several years ago and loved it, so seeing the Misfits gang thrown into a similar situation sounds like a ton of fun.

[aminiatureworld]

Disappearance

Characters: Diluc, Razor, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,133

Warnings: Slightly claustrophobic

Premise: The line between small upsets and huge quarrels can be a blurred one, and it’s often difficult to cope with in the aftermath.

In which there is an argument and the reader disappears.

Author’s Note: Thank you for your request anon. I really cannot stay away from angst, and this was right up my alley. Poor characters, how I love to torture you.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write Razor, he isn’t in my list of characters I’m comfortable with. For one thing I find his broken speech quite difficult to deal with. I can’t tell if I find it irritating or not, or if it’s an example of good characterization or the “savage” stereotype a la Tarzan – sorry Tarzan I don’t like you. But I tried to make the effort and I hope it came out well! Though I still don’t feel quite comfortable with writing him. I hope I handled the dialogue well enough. He makes me think of San from Princess Mononoke.

Diluc

Diluc accelerated his pace as the Winery came into sight, his normally serene face breaking into a small smile.

It was the best time of day, the time when he came home, the time when he could finally see you. The two of you had been a couple for about five months, and though it wasn’t the longest of time, it was certainly the happiest Diluc had been, happier even than when he was a child with a family to call his own. You were his family now after all, something that you reminded him when he was in his darkest moods. You were his family now, and nothing could tear that apart.

“Welcome home.” Your voice was warm with happiness, and you threw your arms around Diluc the moment he came through the door. Diluc reciprocated the embrace and for a moment the two of you simply stood in the landing, the picture of perfect happiness.

“I’ve missed you, beloved.” Diluc whispered.

“I missed you too.” You replied, smiling softly. Your smile slipped however, and was instead replaced with an expression of worry. “You were gone so late tonight, I was unsure if something had happened to you. Really, I was about to go after you.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t.” Diluc replied, tone firm though not unkind. “We’ve talked about this before my love, if something were to happen to me, which it won’t,” he quickly added, seeing your gaze cloud over, “but if it did I wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger. I fight for you as much as anyone else in Monstadt, and for you to be injured or worse on my part, I’d never be able to forgive myself.”

“I know we discussed it and came to that conclusion.” Your words were slow, deliberate in tone. “But though I agreed to it then, I found tonight that I regretted it more than anything I might ever do. I cannot bear the idea of you somewhere near, hurt and crying out for help or worse…” you swallowed, unwilling to conjure the image to mind, “…I couldn’t bear thinking that you might be in a bad way and with no chance of rescue simply because I made a foolish promise. And while I was thinking about this all I came to the realization that I could never truly keep that promise. If you’re ever in need I will be there for you, no matter what. No matter what you said, what you think, it is the simple truth.”

“Please don’t do that.” Diluc replied, voice quickly becoming filled with emotion. “If there’s something out there that could hurt me like that, then how –” he paused, realizing his mistake, but you’d already caught it.

“How could I possibly defeat it?” You replied, a grimace replacing your smile. “You cannot treat me like glass Diluc. I’m an adventurer, a warrior in my own right. And I won’t be kept from saving the one I love the most, not when the only thing keeping me from it is his pride and a few words.”

 The two of you said nothing more of it that night, but the argument hung in the air the next morning, continuing the awkwardness up until you left for your adventuring duties. Diluc did nothing to breach the gap. He was in the right after all. And besides, it was such a stupid little argument, barely one at that. In a day or two it’d be nothing, and then all would be well again.

This conclusion was sorely tested when you didn’t return to the Winery in the evening. As Diluc prepared himself for another night of patrol he began to worry slightly. Surely you weren’t avoiding him. About something so small? No, most likely you were simply late. You’d be there when he got home. If he was sure of anything he was sure of that.

Unfortunately Diluc was proven quite wrong. The doorway was empty at his arrival, you were nowhere to be found. A sinking feeling began to settle into his stomach, and Diluc found himself quite unable to sleep that night, instead tossing and turning this way and that, wondering if you were truly so angry over something that he’d seen as so small. It was the only logical explanation for your disappearance after all, though Diluc wasn’t sure what to do about it. Chasing after you seemed somewhat uncouth, and besides didn’t that always make things worse? No, he’d give you space, all the space you needed. If a week passed then he’d seek you out, but before then he’d let you be. No point in jeopardizing the relationship anymore than apparently he already had.

His promise to stay away for a week was nearly torn to shreds by the end of the next day. Were you truly so angry with him? How could he have hurt you so much? Diluc didn’t know what to do. During the day he tried to behave as always, keeping tabs on everything he could and busying himself as much as possible. At night, however, the feeling became more and more unbearable, and Diluc found sleep more fleeting than ever.

He kept replaying the argument, over and over again did he try to remember exactly what had happened. Was your tone of voice angrier than he thought? Was your expression darker? Had he been too curt, too dismissive, too demanding? What could’ve possibly caused you to simply disappear? It was unlike you; usually what arguments took place resulted in you trailing him more than anything else. Why was this so different? Turning onto his side once more Diluc closed his eyes. Tomorrow all would be well. Tomorrow you’d come back for sure.

You didn’t come back tomorrow, nor the day after that. Those days were some of the most anxious Diluc had felt since the immediate passing of his father. Work became unbearable, for words that one stood clearly on the page now swam before him, a sea of incomprehensible figures and symbols. Eating and sleeping too were utterly alien to him, and what those two days were mostly comprised of turned out to be him walking about in a stupor, too dazed and too worried to think about anything around him, anything other than you.

On the fourth day a knock came to his door, and with it came Katheryne of the Adventurer’s Guild. Her face was ashen, and she was fiddling with her hands. As Diluc gestured for her to sit down the anxiety that had been sitting in his stomach tangled itself into knots. What in the name of the Seven had happened?

“Master Diluc, we have some information, information involving your partner.”

“Yes?” Diluc’s voice was sharp and low, for he couldn’t bring himself to hide it. Collapsing into the opposite chair he tried to prepare himself for the worst, knowing that if you had left or, Seven forbid, been killed he’d never be able to move on.

“Well you see your partner, they went on an expedition, a commission rather. They were looking for bits of Noctilious Jade and Cor Lapis. Although these minerals are normally found in Liyue only there are a few reservoirs in Monstadt along the border of the two lands, specifically they can be found in certain caves behind the waterfalls that flood into the river. A merchant bought the rights to the land of one of those caves and, being a merchant, he couldn’t get it out himself, so we sent one of our own to mine it out for him, see if it was any good.”

“This is all quite fascinating,” Diluc replied, tone made sharp with worry, “but I can hardly see what this has to do with anything.”

“Your partner was the one selected. They went down to mine it but the entrance was the opening to a sharp drop and they fell down. We only managed to recover them this morning.”

The shock that ran through Diluc was something that he never wished to experience again. It seemed to pierce right through him, into the center of his heart. You’d been trapped. You’d been in need of help, stuck for days in the worst of possible situations, and he’d done nothing but loaf around the Winery. How could he forgive himself for something like that?

“May I see them.” He choked out, his throat constricted and burning.

“They are coming here right now. Thankfully injuries were minimal. Caves connected to water are the most dangerous kind, you can die and it can be impossible to retrieve your corpse. They were incredibly lucky.” And with that gruesome thought in mind Katheryne walked over to the door, opening it to reveal you.

Diluc had never moved so fast in his life. Instantly you were wrapped in his embrace. You returned the gesture just as fiercely, clinging on as if he was the only thing anchoring you, keeping you from collapsing from relief, from fatigue, from the terror that had yet to dissipate.

“Oh my love, oh I’m so sorry, so deeply sorry. Forgive me, forgive me for not being there. Forgive me.” Diluc whispered, practically incoherent. You were both shaking, and when you two collapsed in the chair closest to the fire there were no words for a good many moments. The terror you’d both felt was hardly over, and you both needed to be sure that this wasn’t a dream, that it was all over, and that you were going to be fine now.

“Diluc.” You finally whispered.

“Yes my love.” Diluc replied, a tremor still in his voice. You leaned into him, head perched on his shoulder, breath tickling his neck.

“I never want to quarrel again.”

Diluc reached over to cup your face. Raising your head slightly he leaned over, brushing his lips against yours, indulging in something he thought for a moment he might never be able to do again.

“Neither do I.” He replied, voice just as soft. “And remind me never to try to restrict you again, for if I’d not been such a fool I would’ve run to your side the very evening you were trapped.”

You smiled softly, expression conveying relief and tenderness and most of all love. Leaning in for another kiss you whispered something right before your mouth collided with his.

“I will follow you wherever you go.”

 Razor

Sitting at the edge of one of Wolvedom’s many cliffs, eyes trailed towards the far away walls of Monstadt, Razor wondered if he might’ve been too harsh.

It wasn’t that Razor wanted to quarrel with you, I mean you were the first and only person that he’d managed to build a sincere connection with. It was only that he’d grown up with a complete distrust of humans, and as much as he tried to bury that aspect of himself it still came to the forefront at times.

“I don’t understand what you’re so angry about Razor?” You’d exclaimed, face twisting into an expression of annoyance.

“Why do you like them?” Razor had replied, gesturing towards the people who had arrived with you, trampling their way through the forest as if everything belonged to them simply because they were human. He could practical smell the arrogance wafting off them, and it made his hair stand on edge. It was frustrating that he didn’t have the words to convey that to you.

“My guild members?” You’d said, glancing over your shoulder. “Razor I work with them. We’re going on a trip.”

“I want them to leave.” He’d practically growled, moving to take your hand in his. “I want them to leave, I want you to stay.”

“Well you can’t do that Razor.” You’d said, tone growing more and more exasperated. “And I don’t understand why you’re so hostile to them.”

“They’re human.” To Razor this was enough, but evidently the answer was hardly satisfactory to you.

“I’m human.” You’d pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Razor shook his head.

“You’re different.”

“No, I’m not. You just like me. And like it or not I’m a human, and a human who has a job to do. I can’t stay here, and I can’t stop talking to all other humans.

“Why not?” He’d shot back. “It would be better. Humans are bad creatures.”

“You keep forgetting who I am!” You’d exclaimed, shaking your head. “Whatever, I’m not arguing this with you. I’ll see you in a day. I hope that you can think about my feelings by the time this is over.”

Well the day had come and gone and there was no sight of you. Razor was too angry though to feel much remorse, no matter how much he missed you. You were probably busy anyways, talking to other humans, fraternizing with the enemy. For what else could humans possibly be? They cut down trees, killed the inhabitants of the forests. Even the wolves weren’t safe, for what farmer hadn’t taken a shot at one of them at some point in his life? No, Razor was not the one in the wrong. You were just too used to them. You couldn’t see it.

Still your absence sat wrong with him, and he found himself scouring the edges of Wolvendom the next day, trying to figure out what had happened. It wasn’t as if you didn’t know what he thought after all. And surely you wouldn’t abandon him so quickly, surely.

Razor was hardly so sure when the sun went down the next night. It seemed you were well and truly gone, though where he couldn’t tell. Maybe you really had decided to abandon him, decided he was too much of a burden, decided you preferred humans anyways. The thought ate at him, and he found himself walking around with a bitter taste in his mouth, unsure what to do.

Razor wasn’t sure what finally caused him to cross out of Wolvendom to look for you. Perhaps it was anger, perhaps it was guilt, perhaps it was that he at least wanted to say goodbye. No matter the cause however he still found himself walking on an unfamiliar path, as the woods shifted to plains. He felt vulnerable, uncomfortable without his familiar family. But it was too late to turn back now, and so he pressed ahead.

All sense of discomfort faded away upon running into you. You looked the worse for wear, covered in dirt, your clothes ragged. For a moment Razor wondered what could’ve possibly caused this. Perhaps there was a creature out there he was not aware of. Running up to you he wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re hurt.” It was more of a question than a statement, and you seemed to understand that. Returning the hug you sighed slightly.

“I was stuck in one of the shallow caves off of the Stormbearer Mountains. The passage we went through started crumbling, and I was the last one in line. It took some time to dig me out.” You laughed slightly, but there was a tremor in your voice, and you seemed ill at ease. “It was so dark in there Razor, so utterly dark. I couldn’t imagine being a creature down there, it all seemed to weigh down on me, and I thought it’d collapse and bury me at any second.”

Razor had tightened his embrace, the image seared into his mind. There was a visceral fear in his reaction, the fear of what you’d just described, but it was more complicated than that. To be down there himself was terrifying, but for you to be in that situation, and for so long, it stole the air from his lungs and weighed him down with such a sense of dread he could barely stand it.

“Humans sent you down there?” The tone of his voice was seething, but your reply was much calmer than it had been before.

“Yes. They did. But they also saved me Razor, you must remember that.”

It was something he hadn’t considered, and as he pulled away to look you in the face he pondered the implications. What he’d said was true, yes, but what you’d said was also true. They could’ve quite easily left you if they wanted, could’ve left you for dead and said there was nothing to do about it. Certainly some humans would’ve done just that, but they didn’t. Instead they helped you, for days they had dug, and thanks to that you were safe.

“I was wrong.” He said, tone straight, for it was a fact. He was wrong, at least about your people he was wrong.

“There are many evil people out there.” You said, expression pensive. “There are those who kill and rob and lie and think only about themselves. There are those who cannot see the world around them. But you can’t judge all of humanity by that. There are also those who care for every aspect of the world they can, who burden themselves with all the misfortune they see, so much it might break them. Humans are complicated Razor. So yes you were wrong, but I cannot say you were completely so.”

Razor said nothing, absorbing what you’d said. It was hard not think in black and white, something necessary sometimes for survival. But ever since you’d entered his life he wanted to try to understand you, even a little bit. And, especially after today, he’d do anything to make that effort a reality.

For though he understood little of humans and their ways he knew of one thing for sure. And that was the love he carried for you.

 Xiao

Looking back it was such a stupid argument. Of course all arguments seemed idiotic looking back after what happened. But if all arguments were stupid, then surely Xiao couldn’t’ve picked a stupider one to have.

“I wish you’d see me off at the bridge.” You remarked, strapping the last of your equipment into place. You were off to do another commission, something about recording a rare species of lizard and taking photographs of some rare luminous mosses, and once again the topic of goodbyes had come up.

“I’m saying goodbye now aren’t I?” Xiao tone was as brusque as ever, but this time you didn’t brush it off with your usual smile.

“I mean it Xiao.” You said instead, turning to look him straight in the face. “I know you don’t fraternize with people, I know that you consider it a result of the burdens you carry. I know that and I don’t ask you to go and set up shop in Liyue or some such thing. I do ask you though to simply be there when I leave the city. It would mean a lot to me to have you there when I step out into the wilderness, especially when I’m going to be gone for two days. Can’t you do this for me, at least this?” You searched his eyes, expression pleading, but Xiao simply scoffed and turned his head.

“Saying goodbye here should be enough. Besides, there aren’t any people here. Would you really want me to say goodbye surrounded by prying eyes?”

“No one is going to pry.” You pointed out, voice flat with annoyance. “And to answer your question, yes, yes I would like you to be there to say goodbye. I love you dearly Xiao, more than I have ever loved anyone, more than I ever will. But I cannot love you unequally. I don’t ask for much, but I am asking for this. Please say goodbye to me at the bridge.”

But Xiao merely scowled, shaking his head violently. Huffing you turned around, everything set and ready to go.

“Sometimes I don’t know why I put myself through this.” You muttered; stomping your feet ever so slightly, and slamming the door to the room behind you.

 Xiao’s sense of time was usually quite poor. To adepti days were more like minutes, and even months seemed as abundant as grains of sand. One of the things that had most surprised him about starting a relationship with you was how his sense of time was affected by it. The days with you were mere moments, and the days where you were gone dragged on and on, minutes replaced by endless boredom.

This time was no different, instead the feeling was exacerbated. Although the first two days were a blur, made meaningless by Xiao’s irritation over your final conversation, the moment the third day dawned and you were nowhere to be found time ground to a halt, and Xiao no longer became sure of what day it was, sure that a month must’ve passed instead of a few hours. You must’ve been more irritated than he’d thought.

Still the adeptus was full of pride, pride and principles. If you were staying away over something so petty so be it. He’d not be the one going after you, not when he was utterly within his rights. Why should he changed so over the request of a human? No matter how much he loved you a part of him chafed at the idea, and thus he did nothing, instead sulking the days away under the concerned eyes of Verr Goldet.

If he was filled with pride though, there was also anxiety. Day three came and went, then day four, then day five. When day six arrived Xiao’s will seemed to give up, and he spent his hours in a restless sleep, something highly unusual for the adeptus labelled the “Vigilant Yaksha”. It was if you had taken all his strength away, and what remained was nothing but anxiety and his quickly shattering anger. Surely nothing was worth this feeling of being eaten away by poison. Surely.

Night had fallen, and the moon had taken her silent vigil over the land. Xiao knew that he should get up, knew he should go after you. But it was as if he was chained to the mattress. His head was filled with static and he felt as if he were burning up. A headache had come on the moment he’d opened his eyes, and now he found he could do nothing but lay with his thoughts, each becoming darker by the moment.

He recognized the weight of your footsteps as soon as they came into earshot. Bolting up, all fatigue leaving him, he slammed open the door, taking the stairs two at a time until he finally came face to face with you.

If he was expecting something, it certainly wasn’t this. Though there was a smile on your face it was marred by the bandage on your forehead, and by the long gash on your arm.

“What happened?” The words came out in a rasp. “Who did this to you?” The weight had come back, and Xiao swayed slightly, feeling altogether faint, the range of emotions he was experiencing becoming overwhelming.

You pressed your hand to his chest, the other moving to cup his cheek. “No one did this to me.” You said, voice slightly hoarse. “One of the caves I was in collapsed, and I fell and hit my head while running away from the entrance. Thankfully it was nothing serious, and it only took them three days to get me out.”

Three days. The situation seemed torturous. Xiao was a creature of air, the mere idea of being beneath the earth was claustrophobic to him. It was to humans too, that he knew, knew from what he’d heard from Rex Lapis. The idea of you trapped underground, injured and unable to escape, it shook him to his very core.

Taking your hand in his he kissed your palm, silently thanking Rex Lapis and all the other archons for letting you come home. The situation, what you’d gone through, it was all crashing down on him. You were the most precious thing in the world, the one he loved most, the only person he would truly love, in all his years on this earth it would forever be that way. How could he take you for granted? Take your needs for granted?

“I’ll never fight with you again.” He whispered.

“I don’t know about that.” You said, smiling slightly despite it all. “Fights are hardly unheard of after all.”

“I won’t. Not about something so stupid. Not when…” he trained off for a moment, eyes clouding over. “… Anyways I won’t do it.”

“Does that mean you’ll say farewell at the bridge?” You asked, tone hopeful.

“I will.” Xiao promised. “I’ll do anything for you. For you are that which I love the most.” And leaning over to kiss you Xiao made a silent vow that he’d never let you go through anything like that. Never again.

[arcadejohn127-9]

I read the Diavolos ball and angsty stuff, can I please please please get a happy ending to go with it?

This has been a highly requested and I must give my poor followers comfort after this straight up angst

So everyone, let's get into it! Some hurt and comfort to soothe your hearts

Warning: angst, long

I'll be putting this under readmore as it is long and I have had someone before say they wanted me to add it on long posts, I never really got any feedback about what I could do better and how this will help with people's viewing but I understand why, long posts can be annoying

If you guys think I should do this with all my long posts please comment or dm me or even state it in asks/requests - I wanna do what I can to make things enjoyable for people

Part 1 - beginning

Diavolo's ball aftermath

It's been a few days since they've seen you; they expected to find you in the dorm. Some fear you went back to the human world; there was no messages, no note - there was nothing. You were completely gone.

Everyone was losing it. The brothers got more aggressively with each other, no longer able to have you come between them. Your presence was so soothing to all of them but now you were gone. As soon as they realized you were gone the whole air of the dorm shifted. It wasn't right.

Mammon got desperate to know where you were. He handed one of his crows a necklace he got you, you promised to never take it off. His heart shattered when he saw it was on your desk. He wasn't sure what he did wrong - why did you take it off? What happened to you?

It wasn't long before the crow came back to the devildom; reporting that you were in fact in the human world. The brothers were devastated. They had to tell the others and they had to watch the hopeful shine in their eyes die.

They could all feel thankful you were unharmed but you were so far. You did this to get away from them. You didn't even leave a damn note!

Diavolo ordered everyone to go to the human world. They all split up into different parties to get you, whoever could get you first had to interrogate you. It didn't take a genius to understand that the Noble told you something horrible - why else would you have such a reaction? Barbatos was tasked to 'calmly discuss' that night with said noble but regardless of how rough and merciless he was; he refused to talk.

It was wasting time and energy. If he wasn't going to talk then they had to get the answer from you. A few were able to gather the gist of what he told you from your conversation before you disappeared; you were convinced you were being used and just a replacement, a pawn to them.

They wanted the full story. The whole reason. Anything! Just to understand why you would push them away and disappear like this. What have they done to make the nobles words feel so real to you? They needed to fix it.

The demon brother's split into a team of two; eldest and youngest, the royals stayed together and the elder exchange students were a double team aswell.

The crows lead the teams their way, splitting up to different routes to see if they could circle you so they could talk to you even if you decided to run.

In the end they found you, you were across the pavement, a train coming. The pedestrian stop dinged as it commanded people to stop but the men couldn't help themselves.

"(Y/N)!!!"

You whipped around, shocked. You thought your ears were playing tricks on you but there was the boys. Your boys. Tears bubbled in your eyes. You couldn't believe it. They followed you to the human world.

The world slowed down; the wind blowing against you as your eyes widened at the sight of them. They looked exhausted, some even with tear streaked cheeks. The more impulsive bunch being held back so they don't go running towards you. The street lights illuminated all of you; their appearance looked just as broken as their hearts.

The train rammed itself between you all. Disturbing the moment with its blaring horn, the screeching wheels ringing in your ears. It was the second you had to decide; do you run? Or do you stay?

To let them get you and finally face your emotions or run away, avoid everything and keep letting despair consume you.

You stayed. You couldn't move at all. It was if you were glued to the spot. But you knew it was just your heart aching for them; desperate to hold them and cry out your pain.

As soon as they could, they all rushed to your side. Hugging you, grabbing at your arms and head to pull you close to them. You choked on your tears as you let the 11 men hug you and check your face and clothes. All just wanting to make sure you were really there and unharmed.

You missed them all dearly and you were so happy they missed you too.

But then the big question was asked.

"what happened that night?"

"he said he was happy to meet me...asked for a dance and I said yes, I never should of, he kept telling me I was just Diavolo's pawn, Lilith's replacement and convinced me none of actually cared for me....I believed him.....I felt so unsure and he knew so much about us I just couldn't stop the doubts in my head....I'm so sorry-!"

Lucifer:

He couldn't believe that noble said that to you

He hastily grabbed your face, wiping away your tears

"You will never be and never have been her replacement, you are your own person, your connection to our sister means nothing other than comfort that she was able to be happy and that's it - I apologize if we have made you feel like you are a replacement and have compared you to her.... please understand we just miss her very dearly but we all want you in our life more than anything."

You buried your face into his shoulder

Sobbing your heart out as you kept chanting apologies and gratitude in a broken voice

He silenced you, holding you close

The prideful demon hid his face as best as he could and let tears drip down his cheeks

He was so relived to have you back

It seemed that noble wasn't only going to be visited by barbatos

Lucifer was not known for being merciful

Mammon:

He grabbed your arm and hastily tugged you towards him

His other hand cradled the back of your head

"Don't ever run away again, you understand?! I'm supposed to be the one protecting ya and how am I supposed to do that if you're off running in different realms without telling anyone??!! That noble doesn't know anything! I don't know how he knew about Lilith but you ain't her, you're (Y/N) And that's it! You are your own person - you gotta call out my dumbass-ary if I compare or make you feel that way, I would never do it on purpose! I like you and only you! I can't lose you again!"

He pushed his forhead against yours

A shaky exhale leaving him

You tried to apologize but he cut you right off, hugging you closer

He was going to make that Noble pay for ever making you doubt yourself like this

To doubt how much he loves you

Levithan:

He was already crying

He was crying before you even considered crying

He rushed to you and grabbed your hands

"I got so scared I did something, Don't listen to that normie! Normies are losers for a reason! There's no one else I would want as my best friend - no one will ever be a better game partner than you! You always make me feel happy and proud to be me-! I couldn't ask for anything more from you! I miss Lilith but I miss you even more! You're my favourite person, you're not some replacement, you're you! You're my player 2-! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're not as amazing as you are, please don't leave again!"

It wasn't long after his speech he hugged you

Squeezing you tightly as he relished in having you back in real life 3D

since you were gone he kept playing as your game avatars

Using ai set ups to feel like he was with you again in VR

That noble will not stand a chance against his fury

Satan:

He wasn't sure if he was mad at you or himself

It was most likely both - mad you left and let someone just destory so much work and progression in one meeting

But mad at himself for not making you feel secure

He couldn't bring himself to hug you but that was because he was scared he wouldn't let go

"I knew that Noble was nothing but a menace-! You can't listen to people like him, he's just trying to get to you and tear us apart - I don't know why he would do that but he isn't right, he will never EVER be right! You are yourself and never will be Lilith, I didn't get to me her or really know who she was but I do know you will never be her and never were her! I care so much about you and I will make sure to keep my stupid brothers to never make you feel that way again, I've missed you so much (Y/N)."

In the end, he fell into your arms

Holding you tight as he let out his tears of frustration go

You apologized but he just told you to shut up, he didn't want you to be sorry for being the victim

He already had plans on what he's going to do to that noble, trying to push those thoughts away

Focusing on how wonderful it is to have you close

Asmodeus:

As soon as he could reach you, he pulled you into an embrace

Shaking his head as tears streamed down

His makeup already starting to to drip along work his tears

"No! No! No! Noooo!! Don't listen to that horrible noble! He isn't right at all, he doesn't know anything about us or you! He obviously doesn't know how much we care about you and like you as your own person, I never meant to make you feel as if you were some sort of replacement! Lilith was her own being and so are you, your connection means nothing! I i will always be happy knowing my sister got to live the life she wanted but you aren't apart of that, your life is your own and you are nothing like her! I love you because you're you! I couldn't imagine ever loving someone as much as I love you, please come back to the devildom!"

He nuzzled his cheek against yours

Thankful to have you back in his arms again

He didn't like getting his hands messy but no one was going to make you feel that way ever again

He didn't care about that demons status

Beezlebub:

His hand landed on the top of your head

You flinched not expecting such a gentle pat but it only broke his heart more

"That noble knows nothing about you or any of us, he's turned my sister into an enemy to our relationship and I will not let that go on for any longer! You are not her and not her replacement, how dare he make you feel that way! you're apart of my family and I'll have it no other way, I really love you and missed you everyday you were gone - I was scared I'd never feel full again, you make me feel complete and when you disappeared I knew I wouldn't be able to protect you, I would of never forgiven myself if you got hurt! I want to always be able to protect you and have you by my side and make you feel happy - I promise I won't fail you again."

He almost fell to his knees once he was done

He was ready to swear to you on one knee, like a true knight

But instead hugged you

Mindful not to squeeze too hard but let himself be selfish and hold you tighter than he would normally dare to

He was one prone to be violent unless it was in sports or he was starved - the Noble starved him of your touch and kindness

He'll break more than just rooms once he gets his hands on that Noble

Belphegor:

He spun you to face him

Demanding

Needing your attention on him

It was only a few days but it felt like forever since he's had your eyes on him

"You're no pawn and no replacement, you are you and that's all I want, I don't want any one else, I know I've made you feel like a replacement - i did something horrible to you and then tried to make it seem like it was all okay after, I'm always trying to make up for that day but I know that is something that will always effect us! I missed you so much....you are your own person and you've helped me be a better person, come back home and let me make this right......you're all I want and need."

He broke down crying

Hanging his head low and it dropped onto your shoulder

He loosely held your waist whilst you gripped onto him tight

If everyone thought choking you was bad, just wait until they see what he plans to do with that noble

He couldn't stand seeing you so upset anymore

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

He gently held your arm

Giving it a small squeeze as tears built up

"He said all that? I'm sorry he made you feel like that, to feel such confliction and dread, You are never will be or were my pawn, you're a fantastic student and wonderful person who's did more than I've ever imagined Someone could do, if I could have asked you myself properly to be apart of the exchange program I would of but the world is not yet ready to merge and be aware of our existence.... please you have my deepest apologies and regrets that you felt this way and I've allowed such a person in my court, I will do whatever I can to make this right."

The tears finally fell and he became selfish

Hugging you tight against him, his fingers brushing against any skin he could touch

He couldn't dare to think how he'll be when you finally do leave the program

But until that time comes he needed to make it a good experience for you

If what barbatos did to him wasn't enough to convince him then he will not go back on his word

He'll fix this and do whatever he can to make all the pain stop

Barbatos:

He sighed in relief seeing you in the flesh

Knees buckling as he stood before you

His knuckles bloodied and bruised under his gloves

"I should of been more comforting when I found you, if I had known that was what he said I would of never let him be apart of the lord's court or be at that party, believe me when I say you are not a pawn or someone's replacement - you are so much more than that, you are you and someone that's made me feel closer to the present, to act quicker and stop using endless time as a excuse, I will fix this and make him regret ever uttering a word to you, I promise you."

Your touch was as gentle as ever

He caved, leaning against you

Happy to be able to make amends and fix the situation

The nobles dealt with him once and no matter what he did it wasn't enough

But he was merely holding back to be a gentleman, even if that noble now looks like a beaten raisin

It seemed he will have to do much worse to send everyone's message across

Solomon:

His face was gentle yet scolding

He gently brushed your cheek, wiping away a stray tear

"don't run off next time something like this happens, your life is so short and I hate to think would could happen if I lost you because you felt isolated even from me, you though you could find solace as both of us are humans but I was slow to understand your needs - you are deeply loved by everyone, I envy how much love you get and that's why I can't stand to see you run! I also love you and your presence, you have been so kind to me and I still have so much to teach you- please believe me when I say you're no one's pawn or replacement, you're important because you're you."

You crumbled completely

He hugged you as you apologized, calling yourself an idioit

But it only made him tsk, rubbing your back as he filled your ears with praises

He was sure the demons were going to rip that Noble to shreds but he couldn't help but desire his own revenge

Seeing you like this hurt him so much

Simeon:

He was so quick and gentle you could of mistaken him as a feather

He embraced you, cradling your head and rubbed soothing circles between your shoulder blades

"I was worried about you, I took you home and then I learn you've completely disappeared! No warning or note behind, you ran away - your feelings are extremely valid and I understand why you did this, It must of been so conflicting and you needed space to think and reflect, you're so strong (Y/N)! but you are also smarter than this, I feel ashamed knowing I haven't showed you how much I appreciate you being in my life and make sure you feel secure in the Devildom, I want to look over you but I've failed you already, that Noble does not know what he's talking about regardless of the information he has! I would never let anyone use you or let anyone treat you as some replacement, we all care so much about you."

He slightly swayed with you in his arms

Overwhelmed by his fears and the emotions that were rushing through him

He promised to never harm an innocent soul

That noble did not have one

He will leave the more physically destructive rage to the others

Wanting to merely talk and show the noble the error of his ways

Bonus:

You were back in the Devildom, Everyone was making sure to spend extra time with you. So happy to have you back and wanting to work on making you feel more secure. You couldn't stop how fast your heart was beating from all the overwhelming joy you felt.

It felt so good to be back. But you nagging worry remained in your head; what was going to happen to the Noble? you wished you could go up to him and yell at him. Prove him wrong and make him regret ever making you spiral like that.

When you brought up the idea, the men all looked at each other. A knowing look in their eye.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N) but I think it's best you don't see him but rest assured, we've dealt with him on your behalf and understand your wishes - let us know how we can help you feel resolved from that situation if this is unsatisfactory."

Diavolo answered. If it weren't the state the noble was in they'd happily let you chew him out but your heart and mind have been through enough already. No need to add on to the hurt with seeing what was left of him. They couldn't stand to see you upset again.

But you agreed, thanking them for their support and handling the situation. Unaware of their true actions. They all wished you a great day before going back to their own private meeting.

[inadaydream99]

The One Where You Can’t Be Kept Apart

A/N - Thank you 🥕anon for sending in this request and another brilliant idea! I really hope you enjoy what I have come up with ☺️ Also, I was unsure with how to end it, so it took me a little longer to write than usual 😂

Disclaimer: This is inspired by the Friends episode ‘The One With the Memorial Service’ and is in no way my own original idea. I have also used some direct quotes from the episode for the purpose of keeping some fidelity towards the plot.

You huff, folding your arms across your chest as Soobin begins to interrogate you. He’s only been at yours for a few minutes and you’re already tired of him. You get that he’s trying to look out for you and do as you asked of him; which he’s taking incredibly seriously. But is it really necessary for him to pay you a visit sporadically, just to see if he can catch you out?

It’s like he doesn’t trust you. Not that you blame him really, I mean you’ve just broken up with the love of your life, Yeonjun, and asked Soobin to make sure you don’t have any contact with him because you don’t trust yourself to keep away. But just because you have very little self control when it comes to Yeonjun, doesn’t mean that you need to be watched so often.

It’s been about two weeks since you and Yeonjun broke up after being happily together for just over a year. The reason being that you both realised you wanted different things for your future. Things that, even after much debate, neither of you were willing to compromise on.

It had always been your dream to fall in love with your soulmate and get married. Ever since you were little you’d indulge in your fantasy and act out these magical weddings with your friends. You, of course, always played the bride.

Now, Yeonjun has never been opposed to the idea of marriage. He just doesn’t see the point in having this big, expensive wedding. In his opinion it’s a waste of time and money. He would just be happy to elope.

And that’s the main issue that broke you up. You’d been so distraught over the idea of not having the wedding of your dreams, and Yeonjun stubborn in his views, that you’d come to the agreement that if you can’t agree on this then you’re not meant for each other.

From the second he received the news from you crying down the phone, Soobin had barely left your side. He’s been the most amazing friend to you and done everything he can to help you through this break up. And that’s exactly why you feel guilty for finding him annoying right now.

“I know you’re hiding something (Y/N).” Soobin mumbles, more so to himself than to you, but you hear him clearly none the less. “Who’s shoes are these?” He suddenly quizzes you, holding up a pair of dirty black trainers. Ok, so they aren’t the most fashionable shoes ever, but they are comfy and you have lost any motivation to put effort into your appearance right now. All you can seem to focus on is your heartbreak.

“They’re mine.” You deadpan, your sensitivity making it difficult to not be offended. And Soobin really should have known better because if he’d taken a second longer to look at the shoes he’d realise that they are too small to belong to Yeonjun.

“Oh, sorry.” He utters softly, placing the shoes neatly by the front door once again. You watch as he snoops his way around your apartment, in and out of rooms unsatisfied with his lack of finding anything.

That is, until a knock on your front door sounds. You casually make a stand from the sofa where you had previously been slouched, still sulking over Soobin’s insult over your shoes.

“Wait! I’ll get it.” Soobin calls out to you, hurrying past you. He practically pushes you away from the door; not that he intends to, he’s just oblivious to his actions in the moment.

“It’s just the takeout I ordered.” You sigh, throwing your hands up defensively.

Soobin shoots you a frown before turning the handle and swinging the door open.

“Oh my, what are the chances!” You pretend to be shocked, hands flying up to cover your mouth upon the disappointed look Soobin sends you when the door reveals Yeonjun. “7 billion people in the world and they send Yeonjun to deliver my food!” You continue, hoping that you sound believable enough. Though it’s unlikely with the way your best friend has been doubting you from the very second you asked him to help you keep away from Yeonjun.

Soobin simply rolls his eyes at your terrible acting, turning expectantly to look at Yeonjun for an explanation to his presence.

“I’m sorry, but when (Y/N) called I just couldn’t keep away.” His head hangs low, ashamed of his weakness for you… and for getting caught.

“How’d you even call him?” Soobin gawks at you, seriously confused as to how you found a way to contact Yeonjun without having access to a phone. Yes, Soobin had confiscated it first chance he got. But you have to admit that the time away from your phone has been quite nice.

“FaceTime on IPad.” You mumble sulkily, reluctantly admitting how you’d managed to go behind Soobin’s back. You’d hidden it from him so your parents could at least contact you if they needed… or so you’d convinced yourself.

“iPad, of course! I should have known.” Soobin shakes his head, scolding himself for not having realised sooner.

“Soobin, if (Y/N) and I want to see each other, then we should be allow-”

“This doesn’t concern you Yeonjun.” Soobin interjects Yeonjun’s justification. It’s not that he wants to be rude to Yeonjun, or that he doesn’t like him, it’s just that if he allows this then he’s failed at being a good, supportive friend to you.

“Oh really, maybe I was confused considering the mention of my name.” Yeonjun sasses back. “What I was saying was, why can’t we be friends?” Yeonjun, determined to finish what he wants to say, continues. You notice he doesn’t look at Soobin as he speaks, only you. And the pleading look he sends your way makes you melt.

“I guess there’s no harm in that.” You shrug, trying to not show your true emotions as you observe the wide smile that spreads out across Yeonjun’s face. You really had missed his smile so much.

“Well ok then. If you’re just hanging out as friends then I can join, cause I’m your friend and Yeonjun’s friend too.” Soobin announces and you stifle your laughter when you notice Yeonjun grimace at being called Soobin’s friend.

“I guess.” Yeonjun mumbles reluctantly as he is finally able to enter your apartment properly.

The three of you sit on the sofa, Soobin forcing himself in the small space between you. It’s awkward. No one knowing what to say first to break the silence.

“So how have you been?” Yeonjun is the first to speak, leaning around Soobin to see you.

“I’ve been good, thanks.” Soobin answers as you open your mouth to speak.

“And you?” Yeonjun chuckles now beginning to find Soobin amusing. His gaze is focused intently onto you, eager to finally talk properly with you after so long apart.

“I’ve been better.” You force a small smile.

When you’d initially contacted Yeonjun and invited him over, you’d been so desperate that you hadn’t given it any thought as to how you might feel when he’s actually here. It’s a lot more difficult to see him than you expected, and you know it’s just your overwhelming emotions talking, but you’re still in love with him.

Despite wanting nothing but to cave in and get back with Yeonjun, you remain strong and fight the urge. You don’t want the same things as each other. And the more you remind yourself of that, the more you are able to convince yourself that breaking up was the right thing for the both of you.

“I’ve missed you.” Yeonjun admits. You stare into his longing gaze, your heart racing as you see the sincerity pouring out of him.

“I’ve missed you too.” You whisper, not trusting your voice. You can feel your eyes well up as the words tumble from your lips without thought. Although, it’s true, you really have missed him with all your heart.

“You know, on my way over here I saw a pigeon throw up and then a rat ate it.” Soobin quickly jumps in and changes the moment as soon as he senses the mood getting too serious.

“I still think about you everyday. I mean it’s kinda hard not to when everything reminds me of you.” Yeonjun chooses to ignore Soobin’s obvious attempt at stopping your conversation.

You aren’t sure how to respond to him, so overwhelmed that you feel like the room is spinning.

“Ok, I’m gonna head to the bathroom.” Soobin stands from the sofa. “But I’ll be quick so don’t try anything.” He warns, waving his pointed finger between the both of you before he leaves.

“Look, I’m not going to ask to get back together because I know we want different things.” Yeonjun takes the opportunity to finally say what he’s wanted to say the whole time. “But just to be with you one more night…”

“I want that too, but isn’t that gonna make it too hard?” You try to reason.

“It can’t be any harder than the last few weeks…” And yet, Yeonjun’s words seem to make more sense than you’d like.

“If I’d known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I would have stopped to memorise your face, the way you moved. Everything about you. If I had know the last time I kissed you would be the last time, I never would have stopped.” You’re left speechless by Yeonjun’s confession. Seemingly frozen in shock, your mind blank of all thoughts.

“Kiss him, you fool!” Soobin jolts you out of your daze as he rushes back in to the room.

“Huh?” You scrunch your brows in confusion at your friend. He’s done a complete 180 flip after hearing Yeonjun’s speech.

“Didn’t you hear him? If you don’t kiss him, I will.” You stare at him in shock. This has got to be some sort of test, right?

Except Soobin’s expression is completely serious. You cast several quick glances between Soobin and Yeonjun, observing how the latter sends you an almost pleading look, probably silently begging you to not let Soobin kiss him.

Soobin must be serious about telling you to kiss Yeonjun, because he’s willingly encouraging you. And that’s what finally makes you give in, instantly closing the space between you and Yeonjun, your lips moulding perfectly together in a passionate kiss.

You both pull apart breathless, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes.

“I knew you’d be here!” You jolt apart when the door swings open and slams against the wall.

“Who is this?” Soobin questions, confusion clouding his features.

“It’s my friend Beomgyu.” Yeonjun sighs. “I asked him to keep me away from you.” Yeonjun directs the last part towards you.

You simply giggle at him, half still elated from your kiss, the other in amusement.

“Hey, I’m doing that for (Y/N).” Soobin beams.

“Well you’re not doing a very good job. What’s with all the kissing!” Beomgyu sasses back.

You cast your gaze back to Yeonjun when Soobin and Beomgyu begin bickering back and forth, too invested in their arguing to pay attention to either of you.

“Want to get out of here?” You whisper to him, wide grin on your face when he nods and grabs your hand; both of you sneaking out without being noticed and quickly rushing away to make up for lost time.

“Hey, where’d they go?” Soobin suddenly notices you’re missing.

“Ugh, we blew it.” Beomgyu grumpily mutters, defeatedly throwing his hands in the air.

“I blame myself.” Soobin shakes his head in disappointment.

“I blame you too.” Soobin sends Beomgyu a glare in response.

[siren-queen-imagines]

Mental Status Examination: Jason Kolchek

Some of you had asked about my assignment for my foundations of individual counseling and here it is! Something to hold over until I write something else for y'all!

Some of Jason's backstory is fictionalized but there's plenty from the game. This is just examination findings so there is no pairing (which would be platonic as it's illegal for counselors to engage in romantic/sexual relationships with clients).

This takes place about a year after the game and after the session is already done.

SPOILER WARNING!

Masterlist

Tag: @thedreamingfish99

Patient Summary: Jason Kolchek is a 31 year old first lieutenant in the marines, having come home from deployment in Iraq after 18 months. He states that he was referred to the Veterans Agency by his best friend, Sergeant Nick Kay, a client of another counselor. He suffers from extreme guilt over a situation at a checkpoint that has been targeted by suicide bombers where he made an order to shoot a potential offender, only to find that the offender was a civilian carrying groceries and hadn’t heard the order for them to stop as she was wearing headphones. He also reports nightmares, panic attacks and a fear of the dark (due to a separate incident during a recon mission, of which he is reluctant to discuss at this time). First impression is that First Lieutenant Kolchek may suffer from PTSD. Co-morbidity to be determined upon final diagnosis.

Appearance: First Lieutenant Kolchek appeared to look tired, displayed by the bags and dark circles under his eyes. Despite that, he looks very well put together; clean and presentable in his casual wear, despite his hair being slightly disheveled. His well kept look may be due to his military background or may still be in the mindset as he’s been home for a little less than a year.

Behavior: Jason appeared to be anxious, his leg bouncing up and down and was fidgety. When discussing the checkpoint, he had a rough time maintaining eye contact and displayed detachment from his words. When asked about his fear of the dark, Jason reacted with irritability. After this discussion, he became guarded but cooperative with any information regarding the checkpoint.

Orientation: Jason displayed awareness of the time, date, where he is and why he is here. He is alert and displays motivation to start treatment.

Speech and Language: First Lieutenant Kolchek speaks with a thick southern accent and it seems it gets thicker when he gets more anxious or something gets harder to talk about. He speaks fast but seems to catch himself and slows to a more normal speed. His volume is of a normal level but did get a bit louder when he portrayed his irritability/anger. Answers clearly but as minimally as he can despite seemingly wanting to elaborate as he’s cut himself off.

Mood and Affect: Jason has expressed exhaustion as he hasn’t slept very well since everything happened. He’s also reported bouts of anger due to his lack of sleep. He’s anxious and hypervigilant as he was easily startled at a knock on the door. Despite all of this, Jason seems to be controlled in his emotions a lot of the time.

Thought Process: Showed a mixture of an impoverished (slow thinking) and rapid thought process. Could be due to lack of sleep. He also wants to get better as before he left Iraq, he knew he was going to require treatment, so he has a goal to start treatment and is committed to the work. He just seems a little unsure.

Approach: Jason described his childhood as coming from a place where he experienced violence and drug use up until he joined the Marines. His mother was absent so it was just his father that raised him and his three brothers. He describes him as a “violent alcoholic” and grew up in an environment where violence was normal. He expressed that his father taught him that emotions were for women which has delayed his search for treatment for 8 months. He credits Sergeant Kay for pushing him to work through that mindset. He participated in drug use until after the events of the September 11th attacks where he was “stoned out of my damn skull” that he didn’t learn about the events until a week later.

Defining Treatments: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): “focuses on the relationship among thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and notes how changes in any one domain can improve functioning in the other domains” (American Psychological Association, n.d.). Overall, it helps a person to identify negative behaviors and thinking patterns and prevent them from reacting and behaving in a negative manner and find a balance which leads to the opposite behaviors and reactions. Techniques learned here could help reduce symptoms of PTSD and improve overall functioning. It could help to manage stress related to PTSD. Can also be combined with Trauma-Focused CBT.

Medications: can help improve symptoms of PTSD. Can be given antidepressants to help with depression and anxiety; anti-anxiety medications can help with severe symptoms of anxiety but can only be taken over a short amount of time as they can be abused; prazosin can help with nightmares.

Final Thoughts:

While First Lieutenant Kolchek has disclosed previous drug abuse, I believe he could benefit from prazosin on a ‘as needed’ basis for his nightmares. Should he require anti-anxiety medication, it will happen over a short amount of time to prevent any abuse. CBT, whether trauma-focused to help with Iraq and his childhood, will be beneficial for Jason as it will help him to alter his way of dealing and thinking about his trauma. It can help to alleviate his symptoms of PTSD which will also help him not need medication long term. I will not be prescribing antidepressants at this time. Sleeping pills will not be prescribed at all due to Jason’s background in drug use and the possibility of abuse of the pills.

It’s a social factor and even Jason’s cultural factors play into the lack of therapy. While Jason is American, America has a stigma towards mental health and therapy. Socially, it is similar and it wasn't helpful to First Lieutenant Kolchek that his father had taught and raised him to believe that “feelings were a woman’s thing”. Both socially and culturally, Jason is supposed to be masculine and he even is viewed that way due to his service in the Marines, but he has seen and dealt with things that were difficult and harmful to his psychological wellbeing. May be a point to help him view this factor differently throughout his treatment should he require treatment later in life; which could help him to not delay seeking help.

[l-wannabe-l]

Help Me Understand

Austin wants answers to his questions about love whether or not Aria's ready face her own answers.

For @mimeticpolyalloy1000

Heavy footfalls, the forceful opening of a door, and the sudden blinding flash of artificial light after steady nighttime darkness bring Aria out of her sleepy time.

“Aria I need to ask you something,” Austin says formally announcing his presence only to be met with a sleepy and annoyed groan.

"Austin, not that I'm mad but why are you in my room at 3 in the morning?" At her response, he turns to look at the digital clock on her bedside, long enough to register the blinking numbers.

“... Should I come back later?” Aria sits up in bed making sure her pajamas, consisting of a thin tank and comfy pajama bottoms, covered everything. Not that she thinks Austin would give it much notice.

"No no, if I don't answer your question you'll just pace up and down the place keeping me up anyway." She says motioning him to sit down, expecting him to sit near the foot of the bed only to fluster when he sits down only a foot or two away from her. She clears her throat, composing herself before continuing “So what did you want to ask me?”

“I need you to explain what it means to love someone.” Less of a question, more like a demand said in the same factoid way of speech he has when intaking information.

"... Huh,” she uttered, wondering if it was too late to send him away. “Listen, love can mean different things to different people so I can't guarantee that it'll be the same to other people," Aria tells him, not very keen on having this conversation at all.

"Well, what does it mean to you?" Austin’s counter-question gave Aria pause, she had to turn away from him as she really thought about it. She had put the need to prepare for this moment on the backburner, both to keep a level head in the midst of the battle for the future and because she didn’t actually know how to describe love.

To Aria, love was once a cozy woodside cabin with a grandmother who smelled like lilac and taught her how to make paper flowers. Or an apartment with her mom who would bring home her favorite food from the diner she worked at. And her aunt Ginger who once had a bright smile and a contagious laugh, reserved for moments like when she tried to teach Aria how to use makeup to comically bad results. Nowadays, love came in the form of a mother who could be as cold and strict as gunmetal and just as unrelenting. Love also came in the form of her little brother with impish smiles and big hazel eyes that always betrayed his thoughts and emotions in a way only she was ever around to read. Her brother, who she was tasked to guard from the first moment her mother felt him kick and who she seriously vowed to protect when he first held her finger in his little baby fists.

“I think love means to care about someone enough to put their happiness and well-being over your own. Because when you see them smile and hear them laugh, you want nothing more than to make sure that they can keep it no matter what it takes…even if the means hurt you in the process.” When she was done talking she turned back to Austin, in time to see his gaze shift from her to just over her shoulder, Aria could tell he wasn't looking at anything in particular and was taking a moment to analyze her response both the intended verbal answer and the unintentional physical reaction she had to the question. It unnerved her how well Austin could read her and it’s with those same nerves that she asks her next question.

"Austin,” at the sound of Aria’s voice Austin focused his eyes back on hers, “we've been around each other for a few weeks now so why did you wait so long to ask."

"I needed time to process. I needed to know if these new… feelings would correspond with your explanation." He explains, simple words ladened with not so simple meanings.

"And?" Austin gave an uncharacteristic and unsure shrug. A very human gesture of cluelessness, too human for either’s comfort. "... What do you know, Austin?" Aria's voice seemed to startle her for a second as if she hadn't meant to say it out loud before she schooled her features back down to a neutral farce. She knew she had just asked a dangerous question but she needed to know his answer, for her own sake.

Austin shifted closer to Aria on the bed to the point he could faintly hear her heart beating at a quickened pace. He made sure to keep eye contact with her as he gave his answer.

"I know that I look for you when you're not around. I know that when you are, I can’t bring myself to be far from you. I know I've memorized everything from your appearance to your speech pattern. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to hear more of your voice. Doesn't stop me from wanting to… see more of you." His eyes flick down for the briefest moment and Aria's tank top suddenly felt way too heavy and way too thick.

“I know all these wants confuse and alarm me in a way I hadn’t been able to describe.” There was a ‘till now’ that went unsaid, but both knew it was insinuated.

“And most of all,” he says as he leans in even closer till their faces were inches apart, “I want to know what you know, Aria.” He says as his eyes roam her face searching for something Aria’s not sure she wants him finding. Apparently, he doesn't find it and he lets a small, almost sad, smile fall upon his lips.

“But I know that’s not gonna happen anytime soon,” he said as he leaned back still holding Aria’s attention captive, “So, for now, I’ll leave you to rest. Goodnight Aria.” And as swiftly as he entered, he left, turning off the lights and closing the door behind him. The only evidence that he had been there was the ragged breath Aria let out, after unconsciously holding it in. Despite Austin’s words and the early hour she knew she definitely wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.

[aspoonfuloffiction]

Yeah to be fair to Edwina, Anthony didn't outright say he loves her but he also never really gave her the same "do not expect love in our marriage" speech that he gave Kate. The closest he was honest to her before the wedding was during the poetry reading where he never said anything about there never being love, he simply said that he's not a man of poetry, but of action, that if she would ever want something to be done, she could expect that from him. And from Edwina's perspective, given the rules of courtship, him inviting her family BEFORE any other one at Aubrey Hall, sitting next to her and privately speaking to her about how she'd deal if she were to be married to him, it's not her fault in the slightest that she expected him to propose sooner, or to be glad and happy once he finally did even though he of course did it for the wrong reasons. For him to do so it would obviously have to AT LEAST be that he is into her and wants to spend his life with her, so I can't blame Edwina for being unsure if he loves her but thinking that he might. And like, he went through A LOT just to gain her attention in episode 2 in spite of Kate's refusal to give him approval, if he wanted just any wife he could've easily taken another debutante for courtship. Unfortunately for Edwina the true reason as to why he even did all of that weren't clear, but tbf it wasn't to the other older adults either.

Also in relation to Edwina's behavior because of another text post, I don't condone her and Kate fighting but I also don't understand it when people are all "ugh Edwina was too much after the wedding" like I'm so confused about this because, what?? She was publicly humiliated because her fiance wouldn't stop looking at her own sister during their wedding being officiated, she was lied to CONSTANTLY by Kate, mislead to the altar of all things and even likely further by Anthony if they had gotten married, she's allowed to be angry? And I personally found it really realistic how she went hot and cold on Kate after that because anger can be complicated and isn't always controlled. I hate that Kate went through all of that but I also understand where Edwina comes from re: her emotions because pretty much her entire life has been turned upside down because of the recent events, she's had to find out that her grandparents will never connect with her now and how they truly feel about her family, she spent all this time trying to be a perfect potential wife for Anthony only for it to be for nothing. And on top of all of this she's still a young woman who's had to mask her feelings in order to seem perfectly approachable. Both Kate and her allowed to be complicated and to be angry and it's possible to sympathize with both.

I’m putting these two asks together because I think its the same person?! If not I’m super sorry!!! Feel free to correct me! I also just like to answer similar asks at once.

But yeah basically all of this. Co-signed. My thing is if you can excuse Kate lying to Edwina about the Sheffield situation as well as her growing feels for Anthony then why is Edwina’s breakdown so inexcusable?

And even more than that if you can excuse Anthony for proposing to Edwina while he was undeniably attracted to her sister then and you can’t excuse Edwina a week (it is literally just a week if that) of anger. I have to wonder what is it about Edwina that is so unforgivable?

(I mean I know the answer but still)

[theonekid123]

Why Don’t You Wanna Fuck Me?

Levi Ackerman X Reader

Summary: Y/N sleeps around with a lot of people but seems to steer clear of Levi, He’s unsure why so he tries to figure the mystery out.

Chapter 1

“Wake up!” that was the first thing i heard in the morning

“Fucking shit why would you do that?!” i yelled after i hit my head on the back board

“Sorry but you slept in and Hange needs your help with some experiment” Reiner told me looking tired, i mean he probably was after…..anyway

“Ok, can you hand me my clothes please '' I asked, rubbing my eyes and stretching. A stack of clothes was placed in front of me

“Can we maybe not talk about what happened last night” He asked looking concerned, I assume because he has a thing for Christa

“Have I ever fucked and told Reiner?” i asked as i put my clothes on

“No, sorry” he gave an awkward apology he stood there until i was done getting dressed

“Where’s Hange”

“With Sawney and Bean '' I don't know why I asked where else would she be. When I first joined the Corps Hange sorta recruited me as her assistant she had Moblit so im not to sure why but i nevr questioned it. If i'm being honest Hange and Moblit are my closest friends. Even if i almost die everytime i help that maniac.

“See you later Reiner '' I gave him a small wave as I went to see what Hange needed now.

“Y/N finally!” Moblit practically screamed walking towards you

“Jeez what did she do this time,,” I asked still slightly out of it from just waking up

“It's kind of complicated,” he said, dragging me to the tent where Hange usually did her research.

“Hange what the fuck did you do,” I said walking through the tent opening. That was when I realized there were other soldiers in the tent. Oh shit

“Section commander Hange, what the fuck did you do” I tried to correct myself to not seem disrespectful but the solders still looked at me like I was being disrespectful...oops

“Y/N good to see you let me run through the progress and notes from my previous experiment” Hange said exited while shuffling the stack of paper in her hands.

Four long hours later she concluded her speech. All the other soldiers exited the tent leaving just me Hange and Moblit.

“I'm not too sure Commander Erwin would want to hear you speak about your brand new discovery for 4 hours Hange,” I told her as I looked through her messy notes

“Your right Y/N...which is why I am asking you to summarize them for me,” she said

“Ok, Do you know how long this will take Hange?” it was a sincere question.If anyone could estimate it would be her.

“Dependson how much time you work on it” she said simply

“Why can't you or Moblit do it” it wasn’t that i didn't want to help my friend i just wasn't the biggest fan of paperwork

“We have an expedition in two days and we won't be back for at least a week” Moblit explained, Helping Hange pack some stuff for the expedition. 

“Alright i'll do it as long as you two don”t die or something” i said folding the papers and putting them in my pocket

“Thank you Y/N” Moblit said while Hange slid into the chair across from me

“What?'' I asked as she stared at me with a quizzical look.

“Was it good?” she asked leaning her chin on her hand 

“For fucks sake Hange, why do you want to know '' her and Moblit were the only one i talked to about my late night activities, bit only if they, Hange, initiated the conversation.

“I'm just a caring friend, and i want to know” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

“He was ok, could probably use some more practice though” i said picking the skin surrounding my fingernails. 

“I thought he had a thing going on with that tall kid, what's his name?” Moblit joined the conversation. He hides it but we all know he loves some good gossip

“Bertholdt. He also has a thing for Christa” i know they won't go around telling everyone about this stuff so i'm not too cautious letting them know.

“Have you tried Erwin?'' Hange asked nonchalantly. I choked on my saliva

“Erwin?! The Commander?! Hange im not trying to get kicked out” maybe i was overreacting. I've slept with plenty of  higher ups but the idea of trying with the Commander scared me.

“He won't kick you out in fact he might be happy he can let loose a little” she said with a smirk on her face

“I have paperwork to do,” I said, ending the conversation while I got up and left the tent.

“Sleep with the commander, she really is crazy” i say to myself as i walk to by room

.

.

.

“Does it seem ok?” I asked Hange as I gave her the finished product of the notes. She took a minute to look though it before speaking

“It looks perfect, how long did it take you?” she asked handing it back to me

“I finished it last night, i went through a lot of drafts before i got it down” i worked on it everyday till it was perfect. I rewrote it probably 20 times.

“Can you please give it to Erwin, I have to help unpack everything,” Hange said, walking off.

Maybe i’ll take Hange’s advice after all

“Good evening Commander Erwin, here’s the paperwork from Section Commander Hange,” I said putting the paperwork on his desk

“Please tell Hange I said thank you,” he replied as he started to briefly look through the paperwork

“Aren't you going to leave Scout,” He asked still looking at the papers

“You haven’t dismissed me, it would be disrespectful if I just left” I explained, I wasn’t interested in being respectful, I was just trying to be slick. After a moment of silence, I spoke up

“If I may ask, are you frustrated Commander?” he looked up from the paper, his eyes full of curiosity, this was my chance.

“Why do you ask Scout?” he asked looking back at the paper

“I was just curious, a lot of people seem to be overly frustrated lately, and since there aren’t too many ways to relieve said stress….” I trail off hoping he understands my implication. He put the paper down and looked up with the smallest smirk

“Are you frustrated Scout?” he asked, his voice dropping a few octaves and damn was it attractive

“If I were to say no then I’d be lying Commander” Hey, at least I was being honest

“Ok, well why don’t we help each other out,,” he said pushing out of his chair and circling his desk to stand in front of me 

“If that's what you wish, commander, I will follow your orders” I was trying not to act like I was too excited. Sometimes I like to toy with men's emotions, letting them think I'm not into it even though I am. He stepped close and looked at my lips then back up to my eyes. I took the chance to initiate the first move, which would lead to many more. He was a good kisser I must admit. Unfortunately, we were interrupted when a knock was heard at his door. He pulled away heading to the door saying something about maybe letting whoever it was join. I don't know if he was joking but hey the more the merrier

“Hello, what can I do for you Captain Levi” Levi...great fucking wonderful.

“May I be dismissed, Commander Erwin?” I asked, turning and walking towards the door. He looked confused.

“Yes Scout, thank you for the paperwork,” He said as I walked passed him and Captain Levi

[lunar-wandering]

i don’t wanna fight alone anymore - Chapter 6

The ship goes through a thunderstorm.

Wukong is fine.

(warning: Wukong is kinda like. panicking for most of this chapter, mainly this is based on what I do when anxious but. figured i should warn ya i guess.)

Word Count: 2.4k

Read on Ao3

"Hot chocolate is ready!" MK said, walking into the common room, carrying a tray with 4 mugs of hot chocolate on it. He handed one mug to Mei, then turned to hand another one to Macaque, only for Macaque to turn away, not even reaching for the mug. "....Aren't you going to take it?"

"No." Macaque said, plain and simple, slouching down and back into the couch.

"....Why not?" MK asked.

"I can't drink hot chocolate." Macaque sighed, dramatically sliding down off the couch and onto the floor. "Chocolate is poisonous to monkeys."

"But...." Mei started, turning to look at where Wukong was standing behind the couch. "I'm pretty sure we've all seen Monkey King-"

"I'm immortal, so it doesn't matter." Wukong said, "Give me my drink, if you'd please."

"Here." MK handed the mug of hot chocolate to Wukong, who sipped at it as MK turned back around to bring Macaque's unused mug back to the kitchen. As such, he didn't see the look of brief confusion that flashed over Wukong's face as he sipped the drink again, quickly followed by shock, then a tired resignation. All evidence of that, however, was gone by the time MK returned to the room.

"How do you live without chocolate?" MK asked, as he sat down on the couch, looking down at where Macaque now lay on the ground.

"I manage." He said, his eyes closed. Wukong snorted into his cup.

"That's why he's so bitter." Wukong said, "Can't eat chocolate."

Macaque didn't dignify that comment with a response, his ears twitching before he sat back up, looking like he was concentrating on something. He sighed, standing up and walking towards the door.

"And where are you going?" Mei asked.

"To my room." Macaque said, "There's a thunderstorm coming, and I'd rather not get my hearing destroyed any time soon."

With that, Macaque left the room, the door closing behind him.

"A thunderstorm?" MK asked, "I don't think I've been in a thunderstorm, outside of that time Red Son took over the weather station."

"I've been in a few, while traveling." Mei said, shrugging. "Other than being a bit loud, they're not a big deal, really. The weather station keeps storms from happening in the city, so like you said, I haven't been in one for a while."

"Ha, ha, yeah, wouldn't want the power to get knocked out in such a large city, right?" Wukong said, "I'm sure that would cause chaos."

There was a....strange wobble to his voice as he said it, which prompted MK and Mei to look at him with confusion on their faces.

"Are....you okay?" MK asked, eyeing how tightly Wukong was now gripping his mug. Wukong gave a little laugh.

"I'm just fine, kid." Wukong said, before chugging the rest of his hot chocolate in one go. "I think I'm gonna go check in on Pigsy now, see ya!"

And with that, Wukong turned, walking towards the kitchen. MK and Mei watched him go with equal looks of concern on their faces.

-

The first roll of thunder hit when Wukong was helping Pigsy take a batch of cinnamon buns out of the oven. It was so sudden, that even though he had been tense, expecting it, he very nearly dropped the whole tray.

"Careful, don't want to waste them." Pigsy said, noticing the fumble, before pausing as he registered the expression on Wukong's face. "....You okay?"

"Yep, just fine!" Wukong said, setting the tray down on the counter. "Just wasn't expecting it, that's all!"

"If you say so....." Pigsy said, staring at how Wukong stood, hands behind his back, tense. He could tell that something was up, but-

Before Pigsy could say anything else, another bout of thunder rolled through, and suddenly Wukong was moving, turning and heading towards the doorway.

"I'm going to go check on how Tang is doing!" He called, over his shoulder, before disappearing down the hallway.

-

Tang was sitting in his room, reading one of the many books he'd found in Wukong's house. (He'd stolen them, technically, since Wukong didn't know he'd taken them.)

He faintly heard a bout of thunder-

And then Wukong was there, leaning over his shoulder.

"Watcha reading?" He asked, and Tang barely kept himself from startling out of his chair. He chuckled a little at the other's reaction, before returning his attention to the book. "Wait, isn't this one from my house?"

"They're all from your house." Tang said, recovering from the sudden scare. "I figured I'd get some reading material while we were there."

"I mean, at least someone will read them." Wukong said, "I'm not even sure why I held onto them really, I never actually bothered to read them."

"You didn't- why would you just get books and then not read them?" Tang said, "I mean, this one specifically has such a good plot-"

Wukong sat there, crouched on the edge of Tang's chair, and listened to him rant about how good the book was. In truth, Wukong actually had read all the books. At least 50 times. But he wasn't about to tell him that.

Listening to the ranting was actually a good distraction.

Or at least, it was a good distraction.

Eventually, his mind started wandering again, and all it could keep thinking of was-

A clash of thunder rang out, and Wukong stood up, jumping off of the chair and pacing, trying to look casual as he did so. He didn't think he fully succeeded, if the way Tang paused in his speech and looked at him was any indication.

That wouldn't do. He wouldn't- couldn't let any of the others know-

Tang went to open his mouth, and Wukong was already walking out the door.

"I'm going to go hang out with Sandy!" He said as he left.

Tang watched him leave with a frown on his face.

"I was just gonna ask if he was okay...." He mumbled.

-

So maybe going to Sandy wasn't the best idea right now.

Or, well, at least, it wasn't the best idea considering Wukong actively wanted to hide the fact that anything was wrong. Sandy was the best in the group at picking up on the others emotional states, so Wukong should've known that as soon as he entered the room he'd be asked;

"Are you okay?"

"Yep! Perfectly fine!" Wukong lied, wincing as another clang of thunder boomed outside the ship. As much as some part of him wanted to, he couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell him that the loud sound of thunder sounded all too similar to the sound of rocks falling, crashing, and tumbling their way down a mountain.

Besides, it wasn't entirely a lie, he was fine.

He could deal with this.

So long as he had a distraction.

Which was why, even though Sandy eyed him with a fair amount of suspicion, Wukong stayed around him a little while longer, trying to make small talk about any subject he could think of that Sandy might be knowledgeable about. Cats, tea- literally anything that came to mind.

And it worked- between talking about random subjects, and pacing while rubbing his hands up and down his clothing ( a self comforting gesture, he was unsure when he'd starting doing it, but he sure wasn't going to stop now-), the overbearing panic from the thunder was almost dulled enough for him to forget about it.

....But this strategy wouldn't work forever.

-

They'd all gone to bed.

Everyone was asleep.

They were still in the thunderstorm.

And now, Wukong had no one to talk to.

A loud boom rattled the ship, and Wukong barely stopped himself from whimpering as he leaned against the wall of the hallway. On the one hand, at this point, he just wanted to curl up and cry. But on the other hand, staying still for too long just reminded him of being trapped, unable to move-

Another roll of thunder came through, and Wukong couldn't stop the whimper this time.

Fuck. He couldn't do this, he needed- he needed another distraction, someone else to talk to-

But the others were asleep. There was no way he could wake them up for this, not only would it disturb their sleep, but he'd been doing such a good job of pretending everything was fine, that he was still the strong and powerful Monkey King that defeated Demon Bull King five hundred years ago. He couldn't shatter that image for them. They deserved to believe that they were safe with him there.

He couldn't wake them up. If only someone, maybe Sandy, was still awake, maybe then-

....But there was someone awake.

A mental image of Macaque, sitting on his bed, covering his ears so that they wouldn't be hurt by the loud thunder, unable to sleep from the noise, appeared in Wukong's mind.

Almost immediately he dismissed the idea. He'd already spent at least an hour locked up in a magic barrier with the shadow monkey, outside of general interaction around the others, he wasn't going to actively seek out the other's company for anything else. He still didn't trust him. There was no way he was going to let Macaque know about this.

Another loud crack of thunder quickly made him change his mind.

In only a matter of seconds he stood outside of Macaque's door, debating whether or not he should knock. The choice was made for him as the door swung open, Macaque standing there, looking tired and absolutely done with everything.

"Don't even start." He said, stopping Wukong before he could even open his mouth. "I could hear you panicking from miles away."

"I'm not panicking!" Wukong said, despite the fact that he clearly was, and Macaque sighed-

Before pausing, grabbing hold of his scarf and pulling it up to cover his ears, and that was the only warning Wukong got before-

Another clap of thunder hit, this one closer to the ship than the previous ones, based on how loud it was, and both monkey's cringed. A moment passed, then Macaque slowly let the scarf fall down from his ears, lightly rubbing them in an attempt to stop the ringing.

Wukong continued shaking.

Macaque took one look at him and sighed, before grabbing hold of Wukong's wrist, and dragging him down the hallway.

"Hey- what're you-" Wukong started to protest, trying to pull his wrist out of the other's grip, but Macaque held firm.

"I'm not dealing with this tonight." Macaque grumbled, and Wukong's protests continued, only the fear of possibly waking someone up keeping him from shouting at the other.

At least, until they started approaching MK's room.

Wukong dug his heels into the floor, actually managing to bring Macaque to a complete stop.

"We are not waking up MK." Wukong hissed, trying to level Macaque with a threatening glare, although it was very much ineffective, as another bang of thunder made him start shivering again. Macaque, who had used one hand to pull up his scarf and protect his ears from the noise, rolled his eyes.

"Unfortunately for you, I am not going to tolerate your bullshit." He said, ignoring Wukong's offended gasp. "It's late, my ears are ringing, and right now I honestly couldn't care less about your thunder phobia or whatever. You're going to talk about whatever the hell this is with MK and the others, and I'm going to go back to pressing two pillows over my ears so I don't get hearing damage, okay?"

"No-" Wukong said, but it was too late, as Macaque banged his fist on MK's door. There was a startled yelp, and a crash, and Wukong winced, knowing that his successor had probably just fallen out of his bed. A few seconds passed, and then MK slowly opened the door, tiredly rubbing his eyes.

"Macaque? What's going-" MK started, before noticing Wukong, who was very obviously trying to escape Macaque's grip. "...Monkey King?"

"Uh, hey bud!" Wukong said, smiling nervously even as Macaque sent him a warning glance. "Nothing's wrong, you can go back to bed-"

He was cut off by another boom of thunder, cringing and slightly curling in on himself. Macaque had let go of his hand, in order to better cover his own ears, but somehow the thought of running away was suddenly the furthest thing away in Wukong's mind. MK continued to glance between the both of them with confusion and concern.

"...Are you alright?" MK eventually settled on asking and Wukong-

Wukong finally gave in.

".....No." He said, quietly, looking down at the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Macaque fade into the shadows, probably heading back to his room, but he wasn't really focusing on that right now. "I'm....not okay."

"It's the thunder isn't it." MK said, it wasn't a question, it was a statement, and Wukong nodded silently, still refusing to look MK in the eye. "Do you want to talk about it or-"

"I just need a distraction." Wukong said, "Just, I don't want to think about-"

Another clash of thunder, and MK winced sympathetically as Wukong decided to take a page out of Macaque's book and cover his ears with his scarf. Surprisingly enough, the fabric over his ears did actually help a little, it was almost a bit comforting, really.

MK waited until Wukong had mostly pulled himself back together before speaking again.

"We could play Monkey Mech?" He suggested, "I've got a TV and console in my room-"

Wukong practically rushed past him, entering the room and immediately finding the console and turning it on.

-

MK sighed, setting his controller down on his lap as he glanced at the clock.

4 am in the morning.

(Usually, MK would be a bit concerned over how little sleep he was getting, but-

To be honest, he hadn't been sleeping well the past few nights anyways. What was one more sleepless night?)

"Y'know, arguably, you probably should've gone to Sandy for this." MK said.

"Probably, yeah." Wukong mumbled, before looking over at MK. ".....Can you promise me you won't tell the others about this?"

"...Sure." MK knew that the others had also figured it out already, but if Wukong wanted to pretend that no one knew, well, MK certainly wasn't going to be the one to start digging into that.

That was probably a job that would be best left to Sandy in the long-term.

[fullbusterfantasmic]

Love Potion ♋️ Chapter 4.7

Rated M

It’s all NSFW (As it should be)

1,933 words

A/N: The first position mentioned is called the butterfly or some shit (maybe?) idfk but I like it, & the second is the reverse cowgirl. Formatting is wonky, I know please look past it.

🌬Gray’s POV

The shine her eyes had held has begun to rapidly be overtaken as the (e/c) darkens, while she beckons me closer.

Her mouth is right beside my ear as she says;

“Ravish me...lay your claim on me...let every touch from you send me reeling, and begging for more...show me everything you’ve imagined doing to me and lastly...share every feeling you’ve kept hidden from me”.

The intense requests she made ignites a fire somewhere within me. Flames are rapidly consuming the protective layers of ice I’d long ago placed over my heart. Barriers erected after Deliora’s first attack, reinforced following the death of Ur...gone in an instant. Her tongue runs along the outer shell of my ear, lips placing a kiss to my temple. Pulling away, she then collapses back onto the pillows behind her, now surveying me through darkened, heavily lidded eyes.

My teeth clench as the familiar darkness begins to surface and my internal struggle begins. She asked for it....so why not give it to her? I shouldn’t...I....I’m ready to...no I NEED to let her in that now open space within my heart, within my very barren soul.

You don’t know what you do to me...

✨Your Pov

Im nervous...

I may have asked too much, it was too soon for me to come on so strongly! He still has yet to look at me, and his long bangs obscure his eyes from view.

“Gray I-“

I began to try and retract my previous statement but he interupts me. “From the very first moment I laid eyes on you I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen....and the most dangerous...” he moves out from between my legs, motioning for me to lay on my side. “ I knew if I got close to you I’d end up falling for you and that would put you at risk...”. One of his legs now rest underneath mine and my other rests over the top of his.

“Try as I might, I couldn’t force myself to get or stay away from you; somehow we always end up spending time together” he pauses, pressing a kiss to my temple before continuing; “ -and now we’re here...”.

The room is growing colder once more, goosebumps cover my exposed flesh and I lightly begin to shiver. My entire body is shaking by the time his voice reaches my ear; “With all that being said...I’m done explaining myself, and I’m done talking”.

“Now I’m going to fuck you senseless, this entire town will know you’re mine by sunrise” The vow is whispered to me in such an intimate way, it has my internal walls fluttering, before clenching around nothing. That is soon remedied; A surprised turned pleasurable cry slips out from between my lips as Gray effortlessly slides into me.

This position is a first for me, and experiencing it with this god like man...Said position has quickly become a “10 out of 10, must do again”. He holds my body so closely against his, and somehow those skilled fingers are still roaming up and down my sides. Occasionally pausing their ministrations to ghost across my chest or rub tantalizing circles Into my clit. The angle in which he thrusts into me puts the head of his cock in the perfect position to hit my G-spot each and every time he bottoms out.

The whole “I’m finished talking now” line was absolute bullshit! As soon the smug Ice mage was balls deep inside me, did the sinful whispers begin. Dear God! That deep husky voice alternating between uttering the most endearing things, having my eyes growing wet with tears. Only to make a flawless transition into speaking the most obscene and sensual promises (or threats), have my face continuing to burn red.

I was an absolute wreck.

“You should see yourself right now...Completely fucked out of your mind, slobbering all over, and tear stains coating your cheeks...yet still so breathtaking”. My enthralled lover may no longer be whispering, but the chill of his breath on my neck is still ever present. I don’t speak, I knew my ability of coherent speech had vanished long ago.

Gray doesn’t need my words to go off of now, not when my breath hitches and my body jerks involuntarily. “This one will be....number four right?” He sounds so proud. That wasn’t really a question, and I wouldn’t of answered it even if I could have.

As much as I craved release, my pride urged me to deny it. A small voice inside my head is saying; “Ignore the relentless tingling of your clit, the tight wound knot in your stomach, the pressure from that magnificent cock sinking itself into your deepest depths...”.

Dammit ___________, get it together!

You are a proud Fairy Tail mage; A living embodiment of strength, determination, and destroyer of adversity! You’ve let this man turn you into putty within his hands, he thinks he owns you! Now it’s time for you to reclaim your pride and turn the tables on him!

Who am I kidding?

🌬Grays POV

“Holding back now are we?”

I can’t help but tease her when she’s trying so hard to hide the fact that I have her teetering on the edge of bliss. She lets out and annoyed huff and I poke one of her inflated cheeks, making sure my cock is buried inside of her as far as it can go.

“You take my cock so well baby, you’re already starting to shape to me on the inside...you’ll be my perfect little cock sleeve in no time” I murmured before giving her another nice dark love bite to match the one on the other side of her neck. “I know you want to drench my cock some more” my ice coated finger flicks against her clit before circling over it.

“Hah!” she shrieks at the frozen contact to her bundle of nerves, involuntarily jerking and in turn slamming her hips backwards, burying my dick inside her once more. The tip of my head just barely makes contact with her cervix, and then her walls suddenly contract, clamping down around me. I have to give every effort to not paint them white as not only her ecstatic wail reaches my ears, but I look down just in time to see her lightly spritz the hand id been using to play with her clit.

For a moment my brain begins to short circuit, and then it just shuts down completely.

✨ Your POV

That was....incredible.

Several minutes pass with my mind reeling from the intense orgasm I’d just experienced. It’s like I’m drunk, but not from the alcohol I’d consumed earlier. Drunk from the dopamine flooding my brain, and my heart swelling with overwhelming feelings of love. Love....love for the man currently sharing my bed.  Before I can turn to Gray and embarrass myself with a bunch of post orgasm love drunk rambling, I remember something....oh my god.

I sober up and am slammed back into reality almost instantly. My face begins to burn and I Stifle a cry of humiliation as I realize; I’d just squirted all over his hand! That’s never happened to me before! Gray hasn’t said one word...he’s been silent since it happened! He probably has a look of disgust on his face, I can’t bring myself to look and see.

I try to move,, intent on getting away to take refuge on the other side of the bed. His arms immediately constrict around me, “Oh no you don’t, you aren’t going anywhere!”.  Suddenly he’s flat on his back keeping a firm grip on my hips as I’m forced to straddle him. Glancing over my shoulder I see the proud smirk he’s wearing, then he speaks; “Never had a girl do that before...I like it” giving me a wink afterwards. “Sh-Shut u-up” I mumble as I return my gaze to the wall in front of me, breathing deeply in attempt to calm my palpitating heart.

“Y’know normally I’d give you a little break but... I can’t...not after seeing you do that” he pauses, and I can’t see his eyes roaming over my back side, but I feel his hands slide down from my hips. Then a sharp SMACK resounds around the room, followed by my startled gasp. “Ride me...now!” a fierce growl preludes another sharp smack to my other ass cheek.

I don’t even bother to stop the excited shake that over takes my body, the sudden change into this demanding demeanor is thrilling! Keeping my back to him, I’m quick to position myself over his length and begin to sink down on it. The soft mewl I emit is drowned out by a hiss as the tip of his dick slips between my lips. “That’s it...good girl” he praises as he begins to rub out the red marks on my ass.

Eager to please I get straight to work.

Albeit a bit awkward at first, but Im able to get a steady rhythm going in no time. “So much better than in my dreams...fuckin’ hell __________ your ass is perfect! Yeah that’s it babe, bounce it just like that” Gray mumbles appreciatively, completely enamored with the sight in front of him. “Dream about me often do you?” I tease, throwing him a smug glance over my shoulder. “More often than I’d ever care to admit, now turn around and face me would you?.

I do as he asked, rotating my body to face him. He gently pulls me down towards him and I stop short, my face now inches above his own. My stomach feels like it’s filled with butterflies at the sudden closeness. Unsure of what to do I quietly whisper an awkward sounding “Hi”. A wide grin appears on his face as he responds; “Hi” followed quickly by a chuckle at my sudden awkwardness.

Now we’re both smiling at each other like complete dorks, and I’m compelled to lean forward and kiss him. I resume my ride as his tongue curls around mine, quickly losing myself in the passion of this moment. Gray is quick to pick up the slack, thrusting his hips upward each time mine sink down. The atmosphere in the bedroom has changed, we both feel it. When I say his name again it comes out in a breathy whine.

His eyes reflect an emotion I’ve never seen in them before and his tone is gentle when he says “I know baby, hold on just a little longer for me”. Strong arms wind themselves tighter around me, drawing my body in as close as possible as he speeds up the pace of his thrusts. “I want to feel you gush all over my cock when I finally get to cum inside you” his lips are on mine again, kissing me passionately while bouncing me up and down on his cock.“That okay with you baby? Do you want me to fill up this tight little cunt?”

My confession comes out quick and shameless; “Yes! God there’s nothing I want more right now, I’ve wanted that for ages!”.

“Tell me, who do you belong to now snowflake?”

“YOU! I belong to you now Gray”

“Tell me you need me”

“I need you, I never want to be without you, so please just-“

“Tell me...” he pauses, placing a hand on my cheek and staring into my eyes.

“Tell me you love me”.

[falcqns]

Mad

Pairing: post endgame!Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Summary: Bucky has a hard time coming to terms with Steve’s departure. 

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, Steve Rogers slander, first kiss. 

A/N: As usual, this came from a shifting experience! Poor Bucky just needs a hug :( Hope you enjoy!

You tossed and turned in your bed. No matter what you did, you couldn't fall asleep. You never had trouble sleeping, so you didn't know why you were up. You decided to give up on sleep, and turned on your lamp on to read for a little while. You had only red two pages when you heard Bucky’s door shut and you heard his heavy footfalls make their way to the living room.

You decided to stop reading for a little bit and check up on him. He was quite distant with you, considering that he had met you a few weeks ago, but the rest of the remaining Avengers had warmed up to you already, and you were unsure why he seemed to avoid you. There was always a nagging thought at the back of your head that made you think he hated you, but you didn't want to assume anything.

Bucky, on the other hand, was absolutely terrified of you. Well, not of YOU, but of hurting you. The first time he met you, he immediately took notice of how your eyes were locked on his metal arm, and he immediately felt like he needed to remove himself from the situation before he scared you even more than he had. Over the course of you living here, he had begun to notice how much he liked you, and that thought terrified him even more. Since Steve left him to go back to Peggy, he was terrified to get close to anyone. He was a super soldier, and logically knew that he would most likely outlive those who he loved dearly, another thought that terrified him. He hated being alone, but he wanted to seclude himself to spare himself the inevitable pain. 

When he had awoken from his most recent nightmare, his first instinct was to run to Steve. Steve had nightmares as well, but not at Bucky’s level, and he had always been good at calming Bucky down. But, the realization that Steve had left him for a girl he kissed once, soon washed over with him, and he felt the feeling of abandonment creep up on him once more. As he looked around the room, all he could see was Steve. Steve had done everything in his power to make sure Bucky felt safe and at home in the compound before he left, and Bucky should have known he was compensating for something. He was never one to splurge, after growing up with almost nothing. He felt his chest tightening, and he couldn't bare to stay in that room any longer. 

He stood up, and walked out of his bedroom to head to the living room. He passed your door, and briefly considered seeing if you were awake, but decided against it. You were already scared of him as it was, and he didn't want to cause that fear to grow. He continued on to the living room, and took a seat on the sofa. He stared at the dark TV, almost willing it to turn on by itself so he didn't have to touch something Steve had. A few minutes later, he heard your bedroom door open, and was prepared to apologize for scaring you before heading back to that god forsaken room where he didn't want to spend another second, until you walked in the living room and sat next to him, shoulders almost touching.

“Are you okay?” You asked, and you noticed his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why were you talking to him? You were terrified of him, and he didn't want to force you to do something you were scared to do. But, he was intrigued. Maybe, he had read you all wrong at your first interaction. So, he shook his head. 

“No. But I will be. I’m sorry I woke you up,” He said in a timid voice, not making eye contact. 

You gave him a soft smile even though he couldn't see it. “You didn't wake me. I was having troubles sleeping. It seems you are too, so I decided to come and see if you were okay.” You said, and your smile grew when you noticed he slowly turned to face you, although his eyes remained locked on the ground.

“I-I thought you were scared of me,” He admitted, and your brows furrowed. 

“Why would I be scared of you, Bucky?” You asked, and he looked up at you, tears brimming in his steel blue eyes. You rested your hand on his thigh for comfort when he spoke again.

“T-The first time we met, I noticed you staring at my arm, and I instantly thought you were scared of me because of it, because of what it could do, and because of what it has done. Of what I’ve done. T-Thats why I avoided you, and never spoke to you. I didn't want to give you any more reasons to be scared of me.” He said, a sniffle following his little speech. 

You inched closer to him. “Before I met you, and before you were revealed to be him, I was. Dad had told me the things that HYDRA made you do, and it was scary. I think I was just scared that dad’s life would be in danger because of his affiliation with S.H.I.E.L.D., but when it was announced during th Accords situation that you were The Winter Soldier, I knew it wasn't your fault. I had learned about you from going to the museum with my dad when I was little, and I was always fascinated by you. I knew HYDRA had to be brainwashing you. I brought it up to Dad and he agreed. You are NOT The Winter Soldier, Bucky. You are Bucky Barnes, the boy who risked his life for his best friend without question. You are not what they made you. I was staring at your arm because I thought it was cool, and because my best friend made it. She told me all about you whenever I called her. About how you would entertain the Wakandan children, how you raised those goats, and took care of the land you were given to protect. She told me how the first words you spoke to her was “Thank you.” You deserve to be happy, and not to live in fear.” You said. You watched as Bucky’s chin and lower lip trembled before he launched himself into your arms, hugging you tight to his chest. He hugged you to his chest like a teddy bear, and almost afraid to let go. 

You ran your hand up and down his back to soothe him, and he eventually got ahold of his emotions enough to pull away. You noticed something lingering behind his eyes, and asked him another question.

“What else is going on, Bucky? I know something else is wrong,” You said, and he sighed.

“I’m mad.” He said, and looked up at you, almost half expecting you to realize you were scared of him and take off running. But, when you didn't, instead taking his metal hand into yours for comfort and reassurance, he spoke again. “I’m so mad. At Steve, so much. I took care of him for a lot of his life. I stood by him, and I fought beside him. I lost almost 70 years of my life because I was fighting HYDRA with him, only to be caught by them, and have to be tortured for 20 fucking years and slowly lose my memories of him, and my old life. Then, I save him, escape HYDRA, he finds me, helps me, and him and I fight side by side again. Then I died. For him. Did you know he didn't even talk to me until the final fight was over? Not a single goddamned from him while I fought for him. I thought, that when Thanos was finally turned to dust, he and I would be okay. That we would have a normal life. That we could reconcile all those years we lost because of HYDRA depriving us both of that. But, he chose her.” He said, tears rolling down his face.

“He chose a woman that he kissed ONCE, over his best friend since childhood. I was the one who took care of him whenever he got sick. I was the one who stepped in whenever he got beat up. I’m the one that got captured by HYDRA because I was fighting FOR HIM. And he still chose her, the girl who helped him become Captain America. It fucking hurts. Maybe if I hadn't been snapped away, he wouldn't have gone back. Maybe-” He ranted, and you cut him off with a hug.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself. His choice was a purely selfish one, and it was the wrong one. It had nothing to do with you. You risked everything for him, more than once, and its so shitty that he wouldn't do the same for you. If he was here right now, I would kill him. For everything he put you through. He thought about himself, and this was the one time he shouldn't have. But don't blame yourself. It was ultimately his decision, not yours.” You said, and slowly, Bucky melted into your embrace.

He rubbed his stubbly cheeks against yours, and slowly pulled out of the hug. He pressed his forehead to yours, and his eyes drifted over your features. He had noticed how beautiful you were, and he knew he had a crush on you. But, he always saw you as untouchable. Your father was Clint Barton, the best archer in the world, and he really didn't want an arrow in the head. But, right now, as he rested his head against yours, watched your slow smile spreading across your lips, and smelled your scent, he couldn't think of any of the reasons why he never let himself be happy, especially with you.

Without thinking, his eyes locked on your lips, and he slowly pressed his against yours. He tensed up when you didn’t return it for a few seconds, but relaxed when he felt you kiss him back. He pulled away when the need for air became dire, and rested his flesh hand against your cheek. 

“Thank you. This is the first conversation I’ve had with you, and you've already helped me immensely. C-Can I take you out on a date?” He asked timidly.

Your face broke out into a huge smile. “Of course, Bucky.” 

Bucky felt tears springing to his eyes, and pressed his lips to yours again, tugging you into his lap in the process. And for once in the last two weeks, he wasn't mad at Steve. If it wasn't for Steve leaving, he wouldn't have you.

And you were all he needed. 

[thisaccisdead]

montreal - roman hurt/comfort

pairing: this was written to all be platonic prinxiety, but can definitely be interpreted romantically !

warnings: unconventional self harm, non-graphic descriptions of wounds/injury

summary: a post-POF roman hurt/comfort fic in january 2021? yes <3

word count: 3.2k

notes: large portions of this were salvaged from one (1) night last summer at 4am when i was having a . time. the rest has been mainly recently written before i go to bed, with some extra bits added during my history classes B)) also shout out to [REDACTED]. u may not read this but if u do, i hope u know who u are & ilu

Virgil had been trying to calm himself down for the better part of an hour, as soon as they got back from the wedding fiasco; and he was doing a relatively okay job. Considering the circumstances, at least. Or so he thought, when he registered a spike in Thomas’s anxiety. This only served to make Virgil more anxious, because he had thought he had been doing well—until, he realized it wasn’t anxiety, not exactly, not fully—and it wasn’t coming from him.

Once he'd figured that out, it wasn't hard to trace the feeling to the imagination. He paused at the door. If this was where the strongest negative emotions were coming from, he already knew which side this was about. And could he really be surprised? Roman had wanted that callback for so long. Even at the court case, even when Roman gave Thomas his sentence, Virgil knew it killed him. And Virgil didn't do anything. Because he was so fucking scared of Thomas being bad, or of Janus winning, or something, and now whatever was going on was his fault, and--

And now was not the time for these thoughts. He breathed in. He opened the door.

Immediately, he was coughing out soot, heat burned his cheeks, his eyes blurred with protective tears forming against the smoke. It was hard to see, let alone process, what was happening. Then, he caught sight of the Dragon Witch. And he caught sight of—

“Roman!” Virgil choked on the yell, coughing again.

Obviously Roman couldn’t hear him from the distance, especially considering the brutal roar of the creature. Adrenaline kicked in, and as Virgil began to sprint towards the prince, he took in the entirety of the scene with alarm. Roman was...fighting, sure, except that Virgil had seen him fight before, and this... wasn’t right. Roman bested manticore-chimeras like it was a breeze, he HAD bested the Dragon Witch herself in every form she took, “just for training.” He always moved like he was in a ballet, not a battle, like it was more for show than challenge, and now...

Virgil watched Roman fall to a hard swish of the creature’s tail, and stay there. He almost expected the Dragon Witch to take mercy, or at least, to accept an early victory. But he watched her rear back, raise a taloned hand, the magma-red in her throat glowing brighter and brighter—just as Virgil got close enough to let fight win over flight.

Virgil crashed into Roman; they rolled just far enough that the swipe of claws only ripped the edge of Virgil’s jacket.

Immediate danger out of the way, Virgil clenched his eyes tight, trying to do it how Logan taught him. He found something that didn’t make sense--the grass. The grass was dry, therefore it should have been burning, but it wasn’t. He took that foothold to dispel all the fantastical elements of the scene, Dragon Witch and all her carnage blinking from existence. The new calm of the scene was jarring.

That just left a great big field, Virgil, and one absolute dumbass.

"What the fuck, Princey?!"

Virgil’s voice was distorted with stress, and Roman stared up at him wide-eyed, unsure—even terrified in a way that hurt. Virgil quickly pushed himself up so he wasn't pinning the other. Roman tried to copy this movement, only to groan, start coughing, and fall back again.

“Shit, I—“ Virgil looked at his hands and found red on them, looked at Roman and saw the color painting his chest. “I thought I dispelled all the imaginary stuff, why—?“

“Left brain sides can only dispel so much of what right brain sides feel,” Roman said, voice rough and thin and upsettingly casual, “Since they feel so real to me, you can’t get rid of them.”

“They feel…? Christ, ok, you need a medical kit, uhm—“ Virgil closed his eyes again; he was notoriously shitty at summoning things, and he had to concentrate for this—

“That’s ok; I’ve got it,” Roman said, letting out a quiet hiss as he propped himself up on one arm, and summoned the medical kit with the other, “You can go now.”

Virgil gaped at him in disbelief. When Roman attempted to stand up, and Virgil could no longer deny he wasn’t joking, he exclaimed, “Like Hell am I going, idiot!”

Roman just stared at him, and Virgil cursed under his breath. “Ok ok, let’s just... we should do this in the bathroom, uhm—“

Virgil awkwardly clambered over to Roman again, taking his hand, so he could blink them over together. He knew it would probably be more comfortable for Roman to sink in and out, but considering Virgil wasn’t practiced at that, he wasn’t going to risk screwing it up.

They apparated into the bathtub, and Virgil scrambled up, taking the med kit from Roman's hands.

Ok, ok, now Virgil just had to remember that one time Logan lectured them all on “Side Safety.” He took a shaky breath and washed his hands quickly, before turning back to Roman. He allowed himself to fully assess the prince this time and… Jesus. He was slumped against the back of the tub, having given up his attempts at composure while he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. His litany of scrapes, cuts, bruising, his shallow breathing, and--most of all--the wet, red patch slowly growing on his shirt, sparked renewed panic in Virgil.

“Ok, fuck, ok--let’s do this,” Virgil said, mostly to himself, as he knelt down by Roman to undo his already tattered shirt and take a wet towel to his chest. He had to suck in a breath at the sight of the jagged wound, a nauseous feeling catching up to him.

“You’ve already done a lot, you know,” Roman insisted. “You can--”

“If you tell me to go, Princey, I swear I’ll make these wounds worse myself,” he said, not meaning it in the slightest, which he would assume Roman knew--but the way Roman flinched and shut his mouth told a different story. “Shit, I didn’t mean that. Of course I didn’t mean that!”

Roman glanced away, and Virgil reached to cup his cheek, an instinct he didn’t know he had. Luckily, he caught himself in time to retract his hand. They both avoided eye contact for a second; Virgil cleared his throat; and he reached for the bottle of hydrogen peroxide before pausing. He vaguely recalled Logan mentioning how strong alcohols would only cause more harm, and they should just stick to mild soap instead. He gave the cut a longer look-over—it was certainly not a pretty sight, but probably not as bad as it looked. It was large, but not too deep. Plus, as sides, it would heal itself without needing anything like stitches or professional medical work. The past scars littering Roman’s body were proof of that. Actually--had he always had this many scars? Virgil squinted. How often did he do this?

Virgil finished cleansing and bandaging the wound to the best of his ability, with little talk beyond the occasional, soft “sorry” at Roman’s winces. When he had finished, he gave Roman his hoodie (an action the Prince was too tired to take much notice of), since summoning a new shirt seemed like a waste of whatever energy he had left.

“Ok, Princey, all done. Uhm, are you—how, how are you?” Virgil mentally kicked himself.

A small, bitter smile tugged at Roman’s lips for just a moment. He opened his mouth and then closed it, and finally shrugged. “Thank you for your help.”

It hurt, Virgil realized. Roman’s quiet voice, where near-shouting was his usual speech. His unkempt hair sticking to his forehead, where it was usually styled to be very lightly and intentionally ruffled. The bags beneath his eyes where there was usually concealer. All of it hurt.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m being annoying, but I hope you know there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving yet.”

“Virgil,” Roman almost said it as a whine, which was closer to his usual style, so Virgil considered it progress.

“Roman,” Virgil deadpanned back.

Roman huffed. “Maybe I need space to really explore my feelings, and you’re actually being a terrible friend right now,” he argued.

“Uh-huh, well being a terrible friend is always my favorite, so,” Virgil leaned down, fumbling slightly as he picked Roman up bridal style, “We’re gonna get you to bed, and you can explore your feelings by sleeping.”

“Great, now you’re damsel-in-distressing me,” Roman said sarcastically, but he leaned his head into Virgil’s chest as he did so, which kind of ruined his point.

“Yeah, yeah. Act more like Megara next time, and maybe it’ll be different.”

•••

Roman groaned upon waking up. His whole body ached, but mainly it was focused around a sharper pain in his chest. He let his eyes flutter open, only to find Virgil staring at him from his desk.

“Ah,” Roman uttered, a jumble of memories from the past few hours returning. They felt foggy and mildly icky, but mainly the pain in them was the numb kind of pain, the tired kind. Really, it was indistinguishable from the dull ache of his bruises and cuts.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, as though he understood, even though he couldn’t possibly. “Uh, wanna talk about it?”

It was clear Virgil felt awkward asking the question. It was unclear whether that was due to his tendency to be embarrassed by everything he said, or—far more likely—that he wanted to stop babying a stupid prince, and just go about his business.

Roman sat up, suppressing a wince as best he could. “Do you want to hear about it?”

“Of course I do.” Virgil said it without an ounce of hesitation. Roman’s breath caught.

“Oh.” Roman shifted slightly over, and Virgil took a seat by him on the bed. “Okay. Uhm. I don’t know, I just—I messed up.” What else was new?

“...What did you mess up?” Virgil asked, with an inkling of suspicion, like he knew what this was about. But it wasn’t that; it wasn’t the callback—that was over and done and dead. Roman had created so many fantasies, so many crazy scenarios where they could somehow still make it in that stupid movie, and it had always filled him with hope or crushing pain or something, but as of this afternoon? He didn’t even care. It didn’t matter.

So, Roman ignored the question, and instead commented, “Janus got accepted.”

“What the fuck.”

Roman observed Virgil’s stricken expression like an unsettling kind of mirror of himself when—

My name is Janus.

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “I didn’t take it so well either.”

Virgil looked at him for a long moment, seeming to go through several series of emotions, before he was able to ask, “...What happened?”

Roman inhaled sharply. “I was wrong about being wrong about the wedding. Patton was also wrong; Janus was right, and then Patton was right because he wasn’t a total asshole to Janus, and I’m evil; Thomas hates me; whatever, you get it.”

He thought he would break down, saying it, but he felt oddly… fine. He sat, staring at the same spot as he was before, absentmindedly annoyed at the way his bandages itched. The normalcy of the situation almost made it worse. This sucked. This wasn’t even bad.This was the worst he had ever felt.

“Oook,” Virgil said, clearly not knowing where to start, “I—you—what do you mean: Thomas hates you?”

“Thought that one was self-explanatory.”

“He can’t hate you,” Virgil said with a laughable amount of conviction. “You’re still his… y’know.. goals. Desires. Hopes. Whatever. Just because this one didn’t go… perfectly, doesn’t mean you won’t keep—“ he struggled to find the phrasing for a moment— “...fighting, uh, valiantly for Thomas’s dreams!” he attempted at the encouragement with a weak smile.

Roman just shook his head. “No. I don’t know what he wants.”

Virgil’s smile dropped into confusion. “But… you are his wants.”

“That’s kind of the problem.”

Virgil seemed at a loss, and Roman felt like an asshole. Here he was trying to help him, and Roman couldn’t even be bothered to put on a smile to dismiss him from the duty.

“Please go,” Roman attempted weakly when he couldn’t find a more convincing argument in himself. He was meant to be an actor, but he knew he couldn’t hide the fact that he wanted him to stay, of course he did, so badly. He hoped Virgil would just quit with the chivalry and go despite that.

Virgil sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I'm going about this all wrong.”

Roman knew it probably wasn’t really him Virgil was mad at, but it was hard not to shrink away anyway.

“Look, Roman—“ Virgil turned to him, looked at him seriously, took his hands in his— “To be honest? I don’t care what happened. I don’t care who was right or wrong—I mean, we all know I’ve been in the wrong more than my fair share. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Roman didn’t miss the ambiguity of the end statement. “But… look, you don’t get it. When you mess up, you’re still you. You’re still...,” Roman gestured vaguely, which upset his bandages, and when he looked down at himself, he took note of the black/purple hoodie he was wearing. He melted slightly. This was exactly the point he was trying to make, “You’re still... y’know. Important.”

“Wh—? Of course you’re important, Ro. You’re creativity—“

“Thomas has two of those.”

Virgil looked at him like he was stupid. “Right, as if you’re anything like Remus.”

Roman’s lip quivered at that, and he had to look away, which was so stupid. And suddenly he felt all of the embarrassment at once—of this situation, of everything that had happened before, of the way he was about to cry, in front of Virgil, after he said that, which must look so—

“Roman?”

A hand was on his cheek, softly turning his face towards Virgil’s, though Roman still refused to meet his eyes.

Virgil cursed to himself under his breath. “Shit, this is exactly what I was trying not to say.” He sighed, and Roman hesitantly looked up at him. “Look. Even if you weren’t creativity, if you weren’t hopes or dreams or any of it—if you were a completely pointless side, which you aren’t, but if you were—I wouldn’t care. What I care about is that you’re... Roman. That you bother me until I sing Disney with you, that when you put your heart into something, you do it to a stupid amount, that you make Thomas take trashy buzzfeed soulmate quizzes when he’s stressed, and that you fucking try so hard for everything, even when I’m being a little bitch about it,” he paused. With the hand on Roman’s cheek, he traced the line of a scar down his jaw. It was one of the ones Roman usually made sure to put an illusion over, he noted offhandedly. “I care, because you’re my best friend.”

“Don’t say that,” Roman choked out. He couldn’t handle it if it was a lie, and part of him couldn’t manage hearing it as anything but exactly that. “Just—just—“

“Oh, Princey..”

Virgil held him as he broke. Roman didn’t know how long they sat like that as he let everything wash over him for a final time, let it all truly sink in at long last. He took heaving, messy sobs, no doubt ruining Virgil’s shirt in the process—he was quiet, though. He shook silently, save a couple choked breaths, in the other’s arms--that was a habit he had taught himself long ago.

When Roman had tired himself out, when all that was left was the pain in chest, (which was also suddenly duller—he was healing fast, even for a side—) he pulled back from the embrace. Virgil didn’t move by much, kept them so their fingers were laced together, as they sat staring at each other.

“Uhm. Thanks,” Roman gave a shaky smile, “You really—uh... I... I said some stupid stuff, huh?”

Virgil hesitated before he spoke, as if he knew he shouldn’t ask this right now, but needed to anyway. “...Roman, why’d you go to the Imagination?”

Roman felt ice stab at his chest upon the question. He didn’t want to do this. They had already talked about so much that he shouldn’t have gotten into; this was meant to be the part where they either parted or watched a stupid movie. And this, out of everything, was the conversation he most needed to avoid.

“Uh—I mean, to let off steam?” Roman gave a laugh as best he could. “Obviously, it didn’t go to plan—“

“Didn’t it?”

Roman’s face fell immediately. He struggled to come up with an answer, and even if he had had one, he didn’t think the sound would come out. This was enough of an answer in itself

“Shit,” Virgil breathed. Roman couldn’t help but be mildly annoyed by his surprise—clearly he had already known, he didn’t have to make it a big deal now.

“I… Princey—Roman…” Virgil looked him up and down, and Roman wanted to curl up and hide. “...how many times?”

“Not many,” Roman mumbled. Virgil must have known he was pushing the subject too far, because he just frowned and said,

“OK. I mean...it’s not OK, obviously, but you already know that, I just—“ he sighed. “Just… can you talk to me? Instead? Please? When you feel like… that.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Roman responded hastily, wanting an out from this topic.

Virgil gave him a look. “I’m serious. I mean—look, you don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just, come to me first, yeah?”

Roman’s face burned; he was embarrassed; he wanted to shrug this whole thing off, or roll his eyes, or maybe scream in annoyance. But the rational part of him knew Virgil was right. “OK,” he agreed softly, “...Thanks. For everything.”

Virgil looked surprised, and then flustered, and then waved off the earnest reply. “I mean, it wasn’t--I didn’t--it’s not like I did anything really--”

“You did.”

Virgil’s face softened. “Yeah, well... you’d’ve done the same for me. You... have done the same for me.”

Roman smiled gently at him. “By the way, Virge--” He hesitated. He was about to sound like a real dumbass if Virgil had only been saying this stuff for comfort’s sake. But making a fool of himself was becoming a theme for him anyway, so he continued, “You’re my best friend too.”

I love you.

In the same beats Roman thought it, Virgil squeezed his hand lightly 3 times. A breath passed between them. An understanding. That Roman couldn’t say it out loud, and Virgil wouldn’t.

Instead, Virgil fell back across the bed, bringing Roman with him in the motion. Roman let out a startled gasp and elbowed him lightly. “Hey! I’m injured, that could have been a fatal impact for me!” he whined.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah, OK. So, do you wanna watch a stupid movie, or what?”