#he DEFINITELY doesn't want that no siree

[rutadales]

so with the gem au. how did dream get out of the box? how'd he meet foolish? do u have a gem for sam yet, or ideas about any other characters or what they're doing? :3c

AHH TY MOSS I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS...

so techno (rhodonite) hears that Sam (idk what his gem is gonna be yet 🤔) made dream into a box (dream did some nebulous crime idk what yet) and teams up with Phil (tree agate) to go unbox dream. Happens pretty similar to the canon prison break from the dsmp!

Sam was using dream to essentially power this entire gem settlement and techno is pretty horrified bc hey, that's his buddy! and also a person! you cant do that to a person, let alone a person who's his buddy!

These are pretty rough designs so idk if I'll stick to them but I do like phils. Sam also goes full freak mode over dreams escape and is like "oh next time I'll just convince him to fuse with me and that way I can keep him from escaping" and there's a non zero chance dream goes along with it.

(dream used to be in essential a perma-fusion with Sapnap and George until the ill defined conflict happens and they split. Dream desperately longs for that closeness with anyone but also fundamentally rejects it with people he thinks kindly of.)

Dream now freshly freed from his amazon packaging goes back to his home to just protect it from people who want to colonize it. Think crystal gems but a whole lot more violent.

Enter foolish! Foolish, who had been bubbled for thousands of years and has only been running around for like the last 50 or so, is struggling to find his place in this diamond free universe. He ends building a bunch of stuff on the same world that dream's from, which was overrun with conflict in the about 100 years dreams been boxed. Dream meets him post box, they end up having similar interests so they work together. They mess around with the idea of fusing, and also maybe kiss. Yippee!!

Techno and Phil have a farm together paradot and lapis style. Q is somewhere causing problems, and I can only imagine the source for most of the problems stems from wilbur.

(Also foolish is from era 1 gems, everyone else except Phil and techno are from like era 6 basically. The diamond authority has been over for a very long time)

[eggcats]

Radioapple fic, where Lucifer decides to get to the bottom of that deer asshole's agenda and figure out what he wants with a DEAL with his DAUGHTER.

So, Lucifer decides some reconnaissance on Alastor is necessary - except it's so hard to sneak up on him with that whole shadow shtick. And every time Lucifer tries to talk to him, Alastor needles him so much they wind up fighting, even when he wasn't even trying to start a fight! Can't they have one (1) single civil conversation so he can figure out how to break this deal he has?!??! ONE!

*cough* Anyway.

Lucifer notices that Alastor doesn't bother when KeeKee invades his kitchen (he even feeds her scraps!) and just overall is fine being bothered by a cat. He can work with this. He is a master manipulator AND shape-shifter. He can also become a cat. And Alastor will never be the wiser.

(Spoiler. Alastor is the wiser. It's a white and red cat with yellow eyes that half the time has a fucking tophat on.)

The problem, though, is that ALASTOR doesn't think Lucifer is trying to hide his identity. He just thinks Lucifer decided to bother him as a cat and just took it in stride. Why not, Hell is weird enough as it is, and to be fair, it's kind of entertaining. He'll let it go. Plus, for whatever reason, he's quiet as a cat, so it's fine if he just wants to hang out near him as he works. (Alastor kind of thinks the king of hell is desperate for socialization, but it is too awkward to actually do it. Which, he's not wrong but, ouch.)

LUCIFER, HOWEVER thinks he's being the epitome of discretion. He can get close to Alastor, who will become overly comfortable and spill all his secrets to cat-him! Foolproof!

It eventually escalates to Lucifer regularly hanging out with Alastor as a cat, and after the first time where he broke into his room (as a cat!) and Alastor just let him do it - it became a habit.

(It's not Lucifer's fault if, for thousands of years, he was used to sharing a warm bed with someone, and now he has trouble sleeping alone. Not that him and Alastor are sleeping together! But. Sometimes, he curls up near him as a cat on the bed, and sometimes, they both sleep there. It's not weird! Alastor doesn't even know it's him! [He does.])

Lucifer starts going through a mild crisis one day as he realizes he likes Alastor and kind of wants to be with him (as friends! FRIENDS) as himself, and not a cat. But he has absolutely no idea how to, and kind of spirals.

Alastor walks in on him having a freak out on the couch, and just casually removes his hat and starts petting his head to calm him down.

"Wh-what are you doing?!"

"This seemed to calm you as a feline, I figured it would do the same here."

"WHAT!?"

"Is it not working? Now, what could be so dire as to have His Majesty using the hotel as his own personal room? Surely you don't wish for Charlotte to see you in such a state, sire?"

Lucifer, very quickly, has to come to terms with the fact that Alastor KNEW. (For how long????!) Are they- are they friends? Is this actually not weird?

(Lucifer might have almost forgotten about his original purpose with the deal, but that's still definitely something he'll keep a watch on. Just, maybe he can as himself, too?)

This revelation gives him a whole new set of issues. He...he still sleeps in Alastor's bed as a cat, though, right? Asking to do that as himself (even if it's still him!? Seriously, how long did Alastor know?) would be weird. Right? Right.

[lunaforyou]

HI

Maybe you seen me in @transingthoseformers asks and wondered "Wow, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?"

Many years of catholic trauma

ANYWAYS, YES, I'M MAKING AN AU

So like, to understand this AU you need to understand three things

1) My genuine belief that tf1 Optimus will be tied or connected somehow in the creation of new sparklings

2) The fact that merging with the Matrix is considered "Interfacing" (IDW Optimus put it this way, not me)

3) My interpretation that the Matrix and the bearer are constantly spark merging.

I lied it's 4) My obsession with the Virgin Mary, she should have been at the cluuuub

So, the AU starts by Optimus somehow in the surface, his entire frame has been aching for a while but he is still needed to fight the Decepticons and the Quintessons.

Maybe a fight goes wrong, but it sends him panicking because his HUD just fucking told him "Emergence protocols initiated" and it's a little earlier because of the fight but that's not an impediment, the little one wants out and he wants out now

So you might want to guess, where does our dear Prime go to give birth?

.

.

.

.

That's right! The cave of the Primes! You get nothing for guessing correctly <3

Plot twist; Optimus didn't have a forge, another thing Sentinel took from the miners. The Matrix gave it back when restoring his frame, after all, it needed it for restoring the rest of the Primes. So yeah he freaks out a lot a lot

And yes! He is going through this TWELVE more times

The first one is Prima naturally, the little one gives Megatron a run for his money in "things that nearly killed Optimus multiple times" and almost gets stuck in the birth canal once or twice (Optimus doesn't want to think what would have happened to them both if his coding hadn't kicked in at the right moment) and Optimus can't see the little one without getting his carrier coding out of hand and deciding right then and there that he needed to find a sire for their sake. Also Optimus absolutely loves the little bastard like he hung the moons and the stars

And all the time, he felt the presence of other mechs in the cave with him. Someone definitely helped him stay upright, and he could squeeze his hand around a much much larger one when the contractions hit.

Right so he goes back to base, and everyone pretty much noticed how white and gold the sparkling is. Everyone assumes that somehow D-16 is the sire, keeping on brand with the platinated colors, and, well, Optimus doesn't correct them. Besides, it was just one sparkling, what harm could it do if a few rumors ran around here and there?

Ohhhh boy, not a week later, he discovers that maybe it won't be just one sparkling.

Also, I'm naming this au Primes Reborn, and you can't stop me

[jweekgoji]

Hello! Your writing is amazing! Can I request a yandere Sentinel Prime with a femme reader who has an overprotective Sire? Her sire does not care about who Sentinel is and clearly does not like him and it pisses Sentinel off. Take your time!

Yandere!Sentinel Prime/Femme!Reader with an overprotective sire [hcs]

tw: yandere behavior, mentions of manipulation, jealousy, very brief violence, possesiveness. word count: ~890 a/n: for some reason, I can see Ultra Magnus being this father figure, hehe. thank you for request, Anon~ smoooooch

Your sire doesn't like Sentinel? Well, that certainly wasn't in the plans for him. He expects everyone to treat him like a royalty and look up at him, so when someone treats him differently, it kinda catches off guard.

I don't think yandere!Sentinel will go into his 'killing mode' the moment he sees an obstacle, mainly because he's sure he can take care of that in a classy way.

Sentinel is definitely that guy who really wants to make a good first impression on your sire. He might act like a really confident mech in front of you, but for some reason, he is a little nervous about the thoughts of meeting your sire.

In his mind, it really goes quickly from «oh come on, why would her father dislike me? Everyone loves me!» to «oh Primus. what if he hates me?» and that's how it repeats 24/7. Eventually, the confident Sentinel wins, but he takes a lot of time to prepare for any possible scenario. Everything should be perfect, every single smallest detail is personally checked by him, so nothing goes past.

Imagine Sentinel's expression when your sire harshly brushes it off with a «You're not good enough for my daughter and I don't want you around her. End. Of. Story» and just SLAMS the door shut into his face the moment the other bot sees him. Basically, that's where everything goes wrong. Oh, his poor ego.

Yandere Sentinel especially hates when something goes wrong and not according to his plan. He's a perfectionist, and if he spots any imperfections, it's a total disaster for him! His mood quickly changes from sweet and kind to annoyed and impulsive, so it's better to stay away from him for a good few minutes until he takes a deep breath and goes like «this is fine...everything is fine! :)» with his optic twitching and a small frown on his faceplate, which is easily noticed through his smile.

Yandere!Sentinel gets paranoid with the thought that your sire will start putting the wrong thoughts in your processor, talking trash about him behind his back, so eventually you will start to question your love for Sentinel as well. So, he decides to step in and turn the tables, planting the seeds of distrust about your parental figure. Does your father really care that much for you? Nothing is wrong with being a little protective over your own little spark, but you're no sparkling, you should build your own life!

He does it carefully, using tiny, innocent and careful remarks whenever you two are alone after another disastrous meeting with your sire.

«If your sire really wants what is best for you, why he takes your chances of happiness?»

Until he practically struck you with a head-on, «You always tell me that you love me. So you should choose. Me or him.»

Sentinel is selfish. A small part of him understands how ridiculous it is, to feel jealousy just because your mentor is present in your life. But when you start having more of those father-and-daughter times together, when your attention goes more to your sire rather than him, all rationality in his processor just disappears.

He spends half the day trying to call for you. He wants to know where the frag you are and WHY you don't pick up his calls immediately, since he needs you right here and now. As his partner, you're obligated to always be there for him, and being ignored by you...the audacity!

Sentinel walks in circles in his office, and the silence is bothering him to the insanity. One moment, he will start crying his spark out to her about it.

“After everything I have done to her..! Can you imagine that?” he looks at Airachnid for validation, his voice full of frustration. “I swear, if she calls back, I'm going to tell her everything I think of her, that—”

But the moment he sees your name popping up on the screen, he is conflicted. On the one hand, he wants to pick up immediately, on the other hand, he doesn't want to seem desperate. So he waits a few seconds until he finally decides.

Airachnid gives him almost a disappointed look as she sees her boss using that sweet voice when he talks to you. Suddenly, Sentinel is not that angry anymore, and if anything, he's relieved to finally see and hear your precious voice. He almost forgets about what he said a moment ago until you hit him with «oh, sorry Sentinel, I was with my sire all day. I can't visit you today. See you tomorrow!».

He almost snaps the device in his servo by the end of the call.

Eventually, Sentinel gets exhausted from all of it. He really tried, despite the constant disrespect from your sire. He has no remorse when he finally asks Airachnid to deal with the obstacle in his way of getting you, covering the story as an incident. The death of your sire would shatter you, but don't worry, you will heal soon enough with him by your side.

[yanderefarm]

yandere vampire's pet introduction

cw;; yandere tendencies, blood, abuse, child abuse, manipulation, orgies, pet play, hypnosis

i love this little freak. there's a lot of information here bc i had a lot to say. he's so pretty and i love him so much one of my favorites for sure. im sorry to everyone who wants to be kind to him and treat him gently. im definitely gonna write about him getting bullied.

like I said before his yandere type is self destructive not like ares who is more traditionally yandere. so his content is less about him being jealous and hurting other people or you and more about his obsession. you're the only thing that matters in his life and it drives him to insanity.

silvan was born in a territory owned by a cruel vampire who purposely mistreated the humans under his watch because of how dirty he thought they were.

because of this it was hard for his family to find food so when he was a young child he was given to some low ranking vampires in exchange for human food.

that's how he got his scars around his neck. the vampires kept him for 3 days and nearly killed him before his blood started to develop a bad taste.

when humans are malnourished their blood starts to taste more like dead man blood which can be toxic to vampires. when silvan fell at your feet he tasted horrible, it wasn't until he'd been eating regular healthy meals for a few months that you actually risked trying his blood for the first time.

he tastes sweet. he's like biting into a perfect strawberry that's juicy and sweet without any tartness.

he believes that you're just inherently superior to him because you're a vampire. he feels like he needs to serve a powerful vampire like yourself that you're the only thing that gives his life meaning.

if he had been sired by you he would have been distraught and unable to cope with the idea of it. he wouldn't theoretically mind hurting humans. the problem is his self esteem and how lowly he thinks of himself.

he makes it no secret to you how he feels about himself. it's why his guilt tripping is so effective.

it also means that when he actually does something bad that earns him punishment he takes it incredibly hard. your servants will report his screaming and wailing so loud they can hear him if they go to that part of the manor.

you had to make his punishment room essentially baren so he wouldn't try to hurt himself. even the floors and walls had to be redone to minimize risk. it's basically a padded room.

you would expect him to lay on the guilt tripping extra hard after he gets out but he doesn't. his eyes are empty and his voice is just about gone. he's like a shell of a human being.

silvan will just walk around for a while like that. he'll hesitate to even go near you because he doesn't want to disappoint you again. he doesn't start to return to normal until you bite into him.

he loves when you feed on him. he feels wanted, needed even. you're so powerful and amazing there's no reason you should need him but you do.

he loves sitting in your lap while you drink. he'll run his fingers through your hair and babble about how happy he is. he just goes on and on if you let him, until he's absolutely woozy from blood loss.

he can't die easily because of the preservation procedure. he can withstand having his blood drained past the point of a regular human, he doesn't need to eat every day, he doesn't age. the only thing that could actually kill him is a deliberate attempt on his life.

you've robbed him of part of his humanity by turning him into a pet.

it's not like silvan cares though. you could take all of his humanity if you wanted. you could force him to crawl around like a dog for eternity and he would do so happily.

and compared to his home in the human farm his life is significantly better because he belongs to you. it's not just the fact that he's a pampered pet living in a lavish manor and eating whenever he desires. it's that he's yours.

he's met plenty of vampires by now, other lords like yourself included. no one compares to you. you can show him the bare minimum of affection and that is worth more than all the adoration he gets at parties.

some parties can be a bit too much for him. he's always willing to serve so if it's your will that he be passed around he'll submit himself to any vampire you decide. but sometimes vampires are too greedy, sometimes it reminds him too much of his childhood trauma.

he finds it hard to run to you for support, not because you're some cruel owner but because he doesn't believe he's worthy of your care. if he actually comes to you with a problem you know it's serious.

if he starts to panic or get upset while he's in the middle of being fed on and used by many vampires he can't exactly get up and run into your arms. that's when he finds his ribbon.

the first gift you gave him was a ribbon to tastefully hide his scars. you wrapped it around his neck like a dog collar. since then the original had gotten torn but you bought him a new one.

every one that got torn went to a shoe box in his room. he took good care of the one he wore around the manor but at parties they often got carelessly discarded by greedy vampires. you always bought him a new one, usually to match his outfit.

it was so important to him that he would use it to soothe himself when he was upset. it's presence was like your embrace to him. he would imagine your cold fingers gently touching his skin as you tied it on him. everything was ok.

not every party was a horrible slog fest. the small parties you and the other elite would have were the most fun. you and your friends would all bring your pets and while you talked business silvan got to spend time with the other pets.

he likes other pets because they tend to be the only humans who understand him. some humans have a deep resentment for vampires and they dream of revolution. some humans simply accept their lot in life and do their best while silently cursing their vampire rulers. it seemed like only pets understood the deep admiration for vampires.

silvan and the other pets would excitedly brag about their respective owners and gush over how cool they were. at least until the party turned to other things.

if you're an incredibly affectionate owner he'll become a spoiled brat. he'll still be self loathing but being sat on your lap adorned in all the beautiful things you got him is basically therapy. he doesn't ask for material possessions usually all he really wants is your attention. he interrupts your work, he crawls into your bed, he'll even accidentally barge into meetings with other vampires. he'll pretend to be your stupid pet who doesn't know better. he didn't know you were busy he just needed to see you so bad. the other vampires just watch his shameless smirk when you let him do what he wants.

if you're more of a tortured soul type vampire he loves you but you also irritate him a little. you gave him a good life because of how pathetic and sad he looked when you first met. you give him clothes, you feed him, you gave him a warm bed. so why won't you bite him? why do you wait until you're starving to finally feed on him? he's your property it's your right to feed on him. but you don't. when you finally do you're crying and apologizing. it makes him so frustrated he doesn't understand you. there's nothing more insulting to silvan than you not wanting to eat him.

if you're a mean owner it makes him feel all the more desperate to please you. he'll gladly ask you to take your frustrations out on him. if you want to see his face twist in pain you're going to have to get creative. you punch him, strangle him, cut him, anything and he has a big dopey smile on his face. he can so easily convince himself that you hurting him is your way of showing affection. as long as you don't lock him in the punishment room it means you love him.

as long as you let him stay by your side he'll remain your devoted and loyal pet.

silvan has a vampire kink. he gets so turned on by your fangs, your cold hands, your power over him. compel him. bite him. touch him.

with this comes a pain kink, a blood kink, and a hypnosis kink.

he's already obedient but compel him to make him quiet, dumb, and pliant. he'll jack off to the memory of you doing whatever you want to him for months.

it's hard not to notice just how much you drinking his blood really turns him on. especially if you're a messy eater. he has to physically restrain himself from kissing you and licking up his own blood.

if you're covered in someone else's blood he gets strangely jealous but still undeniably turned on. let him remove your bloody clothes or touch him with your bloody hands and he'll end up humping your leg.

he likes taking care of you. he's clumsy and overexcited but let him help you get dressed or take a bath or get you off. he'll do his best to show you the love you showed him.

he will suggest crawling under your desk and cockwarming you all day. but if you give a mouse a cookie.

he likes more traditional pet play too. put him in a proper collar and make him bark. call him good dog or good boy.

he's really skilled at taking multiple people at once. it's part of why he's so popular at parties. as long as you're not participating he'll be able to focus his attention on everyone.

if you're participating everyone else is chopped liver. he wants to show you how good a pet he is but he also only wants to touch you.

the rare exception is at the small parties with all your friends. all of the pets just get passed around. the first time he got really jealous of whoever you would put your hands on but as he became friends with them all the jealousy subsided somewhat. he knows they'll never want to leave their owners so he doesn't have to worry about them wanting you.

you're vampires of course you have to have cool vampire orgies. if you can't have cool vampire orgies what's the point!

his favorite position is either on your lap or with his legs over your shoulders. he wouldn't particularly care too much what position you had him in. he just needs you.

brat taming. if you spoil him you get to brat tame him and in return he'll misbehave more just to get punished.

he's the most fun to bully or mess with when you have company. he tries to be beautiful and put together eye candy by your side, he can hide his obsession with you for a little while. until you're pulling his hair or cutting into his neck. undo all the hard work your maids went through to make him presentable.

he can't hide how hard he gets when he's looking up at you and your company with tears in his eyes and his shirt stained with his blood. he'll play pretend that he's a miserable dog who's being mistreated by his owner but you're both well aware that he loves it. any kind of attention is good attention.

[ssparksflyy]

i cannot remember if i already sent in a request, my apologies if i did. but could i get a percy x daughter of dionysus boyfriend headcanons

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs! ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

pairing: percy jackson x daughter of dionysus!reader warning(s): alcohol, teensy bit of underage drinking a/n: hellooo! dw pooks u didnt send it already <33 sorry this took me a sec to get out, school SUCKS

WE WERE IN THE BACKSEAT DRUNK ON SOMETHING STRONGER THAN THE DRINKS IN THE BAR

im not kidding though. percy's literally so in love with you that he feels drunk

he gets super smiley and giggly when he talks about you

im talking actually twirling his hair and kicking his feet goodnight

and the poor new camper he's supposed to be showing around literally just wants to learn where the restroom is

he seizes up any opportunity to talk about you methinks

someone could be like

" look at that (f/c) flower! its so pretty!!"

and percy, who's like 12 feet away would run up like

"DID YOU KNOW (F/C) IS (NAMES)'S FAVORITE COLO-"

at this point half the camp knows your entire life story

honestly. pollux loves percy.

he sees how happy he makes you and how well he treats you and is just like 'awwww'

DEFINITELY TEASES YOU THOUGHHH

he also definitely doesn't see percy sneak into your cabin. no siree he doesnt. hes sleeping. goodnight.

( castor also loved him. ILY KING. 😭 )

mr d on the other hand...

literally surprised he hasn't turned him into a dolphin yet

one day he will

but like say you guys are just happily walking around camp, holding hands, being cute , the usual.

when like suddenly you turn to the big house and see your PISSED dad DEATHSTARING you guys. oh hell no.

AND PERCY DOES NOT HELPPPP.

he'll literally look mr d straight in the eye. then turn to you and give you a long kiss. right in front of him.

chiron has had to hold him back countless times

like there was one time when you walked out of cabin 12 together and mr.d saw

he was FUMING

he's seen you walk out of cabin 3 before, BUT CABIN 12?? HIS CABIN????

percy's ass was grass.

literally.

you two were sitting together on the grass, just chatting, and percy could not get uppp

there were vines literally tying him to the ground

you were laughing so hard and he was PANICKING. RIPTIDE WOULD NOT CUT THEMMM.

eventually when you stopped laughing you were able to get the vines to retreat, but percy is still scared to sit in the grass, so all picnic dates have been moved to the lake ♡

whenever youre practicing making wine and like have to taste test it, percy always takes a sip with you

cause obviously you gotta taste it and make sure your actually improving, so you both take a little sip together

it's his own way of saying that he trusts you and your talents

he absolutely adores picking strawberries with you

sometimes you'll help out the demeter kids and bring percy along

and hes just like speed running it i swear

you dont even know why. like he's just laser-focused

apparently, he doesn't know either, it just happens 🤷‍♀️

at the end of the day, when youre done picking strawberries, you'll sneak a few in your pocket and share them with percy ♡

he doesn't care if he's developing back problems from being hunched over in the fields all day, your strawberry kisses are worth it ♡

[vampcubus]

Not me thinking about Muzan and the Upper Moons being put in collars and leashes, nope. Nooooo, siree, nope. Definitely not. I'm a very bad liar-

LATE ANSWER BUT I AM FINALLY READY TO DIVE INTO THIS. just short headcanons for now cus i'm not tryna get too carried away jbdajhsd.

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : muzan, akaza, kokushibo, douma, and gyokko.

𝐌𝐔𝐙𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐉𝐈

— Muzan thinks the collar is degrading so naturally, he is not too thrilled or receptive to your begging at first. But he's a slave to his own curiosity, so after giving it some thought, he'll let you collar him.

— It is as immensely humiliating as he suspected, hearing the dangly loop where the lead would attach to jingle as he moved. You don't use a leash yet, wanting him to get comfortable with his collar first. He doesn't understand the appeal until you start tugging him around by it, hooking your finger through it to drag him where you want him, whether that be between your legs or otherwise, he's suddenly very pliant.

— You finally take that leap and attach a lead to his sleek black collar, bedazzled with red crystals to match his eyes- the same eyes that bore into you so intensely as you wrap the lead around your wrist several times, drawing him close.

"Such a pretty pet you make," you purr, and something in him purrs back, dark lashes fluttering.

— It's definitely a bedroom-only thing for him though. He has a reputation to uphold afterall. That also means he's getting hard the moment you go to fasten it around his neck ❤︎

𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐀

— Akaza takes to his collar so easily, smitten with how it feels around his pretty neck the moment you clip it on. He finds it comforting and likes to wear it as often as possible, as a reminder that he is irrevocably yours even when you're apart.

— He'd probably get so attached to it that he'd get anxious if you tried to remove it, instantly rushing to apologize, thinking he's done something wrong and you're punishing him. He gets a little sick to his stomach at the thought of being a bad pet, or bad in general.

— And he'd love to be leashed! it puts less pressure on him not to suddenly jerk away or disobey you on accident, because the lead is there to stop him from going too far.

— Just imagine being on your back with him rutting into you desperately, and then using the leash to pull him down to your lips, smothering his moans against your lips. Purrr.

𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐌𝐀

—Douma will try just about anything, and won't bat an eye if you confess you want to put a collar on him. He is a bit picky though, so make sure it's a nice one, perhaps with pretty dangly things or gems to compliment his eyes.

— I have this vivid image in my mind of him lifting his hair out of the way as you attach the collar around his neck, those rainbow-colored eyes fixated on your facial expressions, searching for your approval. And when he finds it, he's already purring. He'll gladly show it off too, posing and admiring himself in the mirror.

— He likes it even more when you tug him around by it, whether that be by a lead or just hooking your finger through it and yanking him forward. He's a brat sometimes so at times you'll have to be rough with him, and he likes it, so don't worry about hurting him (that turns him on anyway ❤︎)

𝐊𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐎

— NOW HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT PLS!! Kokushibo likes to be collared but won't admit it. In fact, he'll pretend he's completely indifferent to it. Beneath the surface though, it feels more right than he ever imagined, to be marked as yours in such a way.

— He's another one I could see having a hard time parting with his collar, which is the biggest clue you'll get from him that he likes it. Just imagining reaching for the clasp when he's being particularly stubborn and his hand slaps over it, all six pairs of eyes wide with panic.

"Don't take it off, please..." he'd mumble, the slightest of blushes gracing his usually stoic face.

— As for leashes... he might be a little offended that you think he'd need one, he has impeccible control of his body and only moves it when you say afterall.

— He will, however, entertain it. Though you hardly need to yank him around at all, it's still very hot to see it moving along with him, especially if you get a chain, cus you hear it jingle with every thrust.

𝐆𝐘𝐎𝐊𝐊𝐎

— Gyokko will let you put a collar on him, but he's very picky about the appearance of it. Seriously you'll have to take him with you when you get one so he can pick one out, or let him ramble on about what he wants and get it custom made.

— I think he'd like to have multiple ones, so he can switch them out as he pleases. As for fucking him with it on, he's more easily-flustered than usual, getting red in the face when you boss him around and tug on it.

— Insists on getting matching leashes for each of his collars because he's painfully particular about the small details, but at least he's letting you leash him in the first place right?

[zizzy-rie]

Another AU I've been thinking about for the past several days now

Here are some close ups of the second pic

More info under the cut

Lucifer Morningstar

His main job is creating toy designs and inventing them. Despite what people might think, he actually comes from a very wealthy and famous family, having owned several companies and lands in different parts of the country. Even though he has his wealth, Lucifer chose to live far from his family and start a life on his own, much to the disappointment of a lot of his relatives. From time to time, he does contact his father and siblings to catch up and know that they're okay.

Lilith Magne

She is a famous fashion model. Not much is known about where she came from as she rarely speaks about her past. Some say that she's bossy and unapproachable (men) but others see her as soft spoken and understanding (women and children). No one in society knows what she does behind her fame, except those powerful syndicates from the underworld. Lilith is a seductress killer who targets men as her victims. She lures them during huge gatherings and parties, wearing a purple gown paired with a black mask over her eyes. She leaves nothing but a black rose on the scene of the crime.

Alastor (??)

He is a radio host from an obscure radio show. Not many know who he is, much to his delight, as he prefers not being traced back to the monthly deaths happening in the city, most of which was his own doing. Alastor is quite organized with the way he chooses his prey, to the way they should be killed. In the underworld, he is well known, both by amateurs and by powerful and huge syndicates, yet no one dared to touch him or report him to authorities (they know what happens if they do, or even try to).

Relationships

Radioapple

No one knows how Lucifer and Alastor met, not even their close friends and family. One day, Lucifer was just suddenly seen arguing with Alastor on the street while holding some plastic bags filled with different things. Complicated is what can be described about their relationship. One minute, they're arguing and trying to hit each other with anything they can hold on to, then the next, you'll hear them cackling at each other's corny jokes. Their relationship got more complicated when the two got drunk off their asses and swore off and made a bet to make the other get laid.

**It would probably go something like this: Alastor and Lucifer, both very drunk and incomprehensible to anyone eavesdropping on them, somehow talking about relationships and partners (how their topic of conversation led to that is up to everyone's own interpretation).

Lucifer: Pppfft- I'm definitely a whole package! I mean just look at me! Charming, rich, handsome, great with the ladies~ Who wouldn't want that? Ehh? Eh?~

Alastor: Well, I don't see anyone hovering around you like an annoying pest now, do I? I guess you're not as charming or great as you think you are, sire.

Lucifer: You're one to talk! You've never even been on a date once!

Alastor: That's because I chose not to, Lucifer. Relationships are messy, and only complicate things. I have no time dealing with such feeble emotions such as love everyone oh so desperately craves. That is clearly not my cup of tea.

Lucifer: Pft, bet I could find you a partner that matches you.

Alastor: oh? Is that a challenge I hear, sire?

Lucifer: oh! How about this? you find me a partner to date, and I find you one as well. If one of us gets to find a match for the other in a matter of 6 months, then the winner gets to receive a reward. Sounds good?

Alastor: hhmmm, tempting, but what would be the reward, sire? If I may ask.

Lucifer: the winner gets to choose his reward, how about that? Doesn't that sound nice? Hhmm?

Alastor: Alright then, challenge accepted Lucifer. Although you're only making this easier for me, as I have never ever fallen for someone and I can assure you that it will never happen. Good luck with finding me a partner.

Lucifer: oh I definitely can, just you wait.

The current situation on their challenge so far: difficult is one word to describe it. No one has found a suitable date or partner for the other yet. [Until Lilith comes into the picture]

Radioqueen

Lilith is a witness to one of Alastor's murders. While disposing of the body, she had accidentally walked into the scene, much to Alastor's disappointment. This is their first meeting with each other, although they have heard rumors about the other from amateur criminals and rookies. Alastor, not wanting to kill Lilith because of his moral code of not killing women and children, bribed her into getting a date with one of the rich and chivalrous men in their city, Lucifer Morningstar, in exchange for her silence. Pleased with the idea (and perhaps another prey to feast on), Lilith agreed. The two exchanged contacts and have been in touch ever since. They are acquainted easily as the two share sentiments on not harming women and children in their murder spree. One detail Alastor forgot to take notice though is, Lilith's victims are men who she had a date with before their deaths.

Lucilith

The two bumped into each other in a cafe. Lucifer was getting a latte for himself, stressed out on the list he is making (names of random people he has heard of who he thinks are the type of people Alastor would go out with). Lilith was getting coffee, just finished from her modeling job in a nearby building. Their meet up was merely a coincidence, which was a delight for Lilith. This way, she could gain more information about who the person Alastor is setting her up with. Lucifer, mesmerized by her voice and stunned by her brilliance, tried to ask for her name. Unfortunately, he blurted out a different question as he was mulling over other problems in his head, such as the list for Alastor's possible dates. Asking someone to date their friend is not the kind of question anyone should be asking to a stranger, and yet it still happened to Lucifer, no less. Being possibly one of the most socially awkward people to exist, he could only sit on the ground and hide his face in shame and horror. Lilith, not expecting this kind of behavior from a rich and supposedly charming man, had found him quite cute and endearing. This is when she decided to leave her original plan of killing him, and instead vowed to marry him someday in the future.

[ineffably-human]

We're going to scream about Nandermo all week, but right now I need to talk about Baron Afanas. Because the Baron's arc, so to speak, always felt like a big part of the series DNA for me - and oh fuck did this episode deliver on why.

I think we can agree: in the show, vampire society is fucked up, right?

Vampires on their own have plenty to deal with that can make them crazy. They have to live by killing. They lose everyone from their old lives. They have to find new reasons to keep going on, forever, so shit can get decadent really fast.

But holy shit, what that's turned into in vampire society? Where you actively put cruelty over mercy, and violence over solving your problems? Death cults and scam artists roam free, but if someone has depression the best thing to do is ignore them. Someone can get their mind wiped or be locked up for centuries, and that's just what you do to your species.

--

So: the Baron's arrival is the first conflict of the whole show. The joke is about an ancient powerful creature of pants-shitting terror, vs three lesser vampires who just want to live their lives and not get murdered for being too lazy to conquer humanity. There's a lot of talk about how to please him: do you keep to the old ways, or pick up some new traditions? Decorate with flayed skin, or with glitter? And the Baron says: who cares, you're all soft and useless. All that matters is getting more control over this world, until people are cattle and we have no reason to hide anymore.

But later he confesses: that shit stopped mattering ages ago. He's not even real nobility, he's literally impotent, and he talks about doing horrible things because he doesn't know what else to say. He's angry and half-crazy from boredom. And admitting that, owning those feelings, means suddenly he has three new friends and a whole new world of things to enjoy.

There's the Baron the rest of the vampire world knows, but for one night we see the ancient, unknowable terror was just a guy. Maybe he's always been just some guy.

That fun puts him in a vulnerable position, and he's killed by the most unwitting vampire slayer in fiction. But Baron Afanas is changed. He sucks dirt for a year and still comes out of it with a new lightness and joy to him. He saves the Sire, another ancient terrifying monster everyone was eager to kill or send away. They adopt the hellhound. They get cozy and give advice. They make popsicle stick houses and go on walks. They live.

And that seemed like the end of the story until last night - when the Baron suddenly felt like the butt of a joke everyone knew but him. Spurred on by someone else who feels lonely and ignored, the Baron felt vulnerable. And he snapped back to how he lived for centuries.

'What the hell are you all doing, enjoying yourselves? We're supposed to be unhappy. We're supposed to live centuries of unhappiness, bringing pain to everyone in our path, and we're definitely not supposed to cheer up our friend who's sad.'

--

Nobody liked the Baron before Guillermo killed him, not even other powerful vampires we meet; they saw the Baron as a crazy far beyond their own crazy. But this is also how vampire society values you. It's how they measure Nandor's worth when they think he's dead, too: how old and powerful you are, how much you've been able to conquer and kill.

Vampire pods are both cliquish and aren't expected to last in the first place. If someone dies, you literally paint them out of your lives and forget. Everything we see discourages feelings, sincerity, or even basic companionship. The only way to earn respect is to be cruel. The more cruel you are, the more powerful you are. The more powerful you are, the more feared you are - the lonelier you are, the crazier you are. It's practically designed to create the Baron, or worse.

But new vampires don't behave that way. And the vampires we follow in the show don't behave that way - because they have each other, because they've been encouraged to have each other, often by Guillermo. (Holy shit, Nadja saying maybe she'd be fine dying, and Nandor immediately asking if she's okay? Nothing changes in this house, except everything does. They're not going to almost lose one of their own ever again.)

The vampires in the heart of vampire culture never seem happy to be like this. It doesn't have to be like this.

--

The Baron doesn't become a tyrannical monster for long. Because he never actually was one - and because he spends two evenings and a fireball to the face, watching Nandor and Nadja fight for Guillermo. Watching them plead and cling and defy, seeing Guillermo's earnest feelings in spite of his bloodline and the mistakes he's made. Seeing Nandor's perfect trust, and then his grief, the way he insists that Guillermo was never 'just' anything. The Baron can't find real fulfillment in hurting someone (because that ship sailed ages ago). He can't deride them for caring, because he's cared for a long time now.

And when the Baron admits that's who he is, when he says it out loud, he only gains more in his life. He finds new depth in the happiness he'd felt for a while now, because he's admitted and allowed himself to be happy. And now he has the children he's always wanted. Living together, the Baron and the Sire are still ancient and powerful - and they're also family, finding real joy together in a world that was ready to dispose of them.

"I suppose with the right company, it can be beautiful, this eternal existence."

--

There's an inherent selfishness to being a vampire, taking from someone else in order to live. But there doesn't have to be inherent cruelty, or lack of love.

They're all ready to admit they care. The Staten vampires have all cared for Guillermo or each other in their own ways this season. And Guillermo doesn't lack for flaws, but loving his monster family has never been one of them. (When he and Nandor work their shit out, they're gonna be insufferable.)

Now they just have to let the Guide in. Because she's absolutely starved for love, and vampires get pretty fucked up when they're on their own.

[rawmeknockout]

Give me more CILF (Creator I'd like to fuck) writing! Please, I beg of you!

an assortment!

Rodimus is the young, hot, eager- to-please Captain that wants to spark you up soooo bad. There's just something so hot about the way you care so fiercely for your sparkling, it really gets his engine revving. He knows he's younger than you, but that doesn't make him any less of a mech! In fact, he's got all the energy and stamina a sire could need to look after any (potential) future sparklings you might have together. He's always looking to impress you, almost tripping over himself to prove he's the mech for you. Drift has heard enough of his delulu daydreams about how much he'd like to give you another. He's always been attracted to older mechs (hard not to be when your entire population is as long-lived as Cybertronians. He may be your boss, a headstrong and over-confident sort of guy, but he could be gentle if you wanted him to be! Let him show you!

Megatron is much quieter in his appreciation of you. It's not that the thought hasn't crossed his mind that you would look SO good carrying his sparkling, it's just that he's well aware how awful a decision that would be. Doesn't stop him from cranking his shaft to the idea. He's perfectly happy to look after the sparkling you already have when you need a break. Some might say he's the very last mech that should be in charge of looking after a sparkling, but he believes that some Autobots are far too self-sacrificing. Sure, he's now committed to the Autobots, but he still holds his personal belief that Cybertronians have value far greater than any self-perceived benefit to others. He will teach your sparkling that they exist first for themselves and for no other to take advantage of: be it a system or an individual. It just sort of helps that looking after your sparkling and ingratiating himself to them also puts him in closer proximity to you.

Ratchet won't ever admit it but the prospect of having a sparkling has always been so tempting for him. Of course, he was never in any position to have a sparkling of his own, first with his practice in Dead End and then the war, and now that he's quite a bit older the chances of that have gone down tremendously. In fact, he sees it as almost bordering on negligent to conceive one. But when he sees you with your sparkling his fantasies and daydreams of a domestic life come surging to the forefront of his processor. It's hard not to feel envy towards you, even if you're forced to care for your sparkling alone, but he tries to stamp out those feelings. You're not deserving of his resentment because he chose not to have bitlets. When he gets to know you better he feels all the worse for having been envious of you, and incredibly grateful that you would let him look after your sparkling. Even if the bitlet isn't his, Ratchet is attached to your offspring like no other and is always fussing after their (and your) care. If Drift notices a difference in Ratchet's demeanor, a certain wistfulness about him, he doesn't bring it up. He knows Ratchet would simply be reluctant to give himself what he wants, although Ratchet carrying the sparkling isn't the only option...

Whirl thinks it's hot. Okay, sure he thinks a lot of things are sexy that aren't supposed to be (that one time Brainstorm's optic was hanging from the socket, for example) but this one of normal! He insists. It's not everyday you meet a Cybertronian who has carried their own offspring. It's sort of an uncommon practice and definitely the most dangerous given the alternatives, but that's part of what makes it so sexy. Rung has informed him that is, actually, a little fucked up (not his words). Whirl would like to know what you looked like carrying. Not every carrier's frame will change drastically, in fact many don't if their armor is bulky enough, but maybe yours did. The fact your frame is so... powerful in a sense, resilient, and durable is kind of a turn on for him. But then again, Whirl gets heated if there's a gun pointed at him, so maybe it is fucked up. Your frame went through all the taxing processes of creating another Cybertronian, and you didn't die! What he wouldn't give to put your frame through it's paces again... Ultra Magnus has gently tried to convince you to get a restraining order against Whirl.

[asilentsongbird]

Baby trapping/breeding anyone? Just me? Alright

This post is ridiculously self indulgent.

Characters: Childe, Diluc, Ayato, Albedo

TW: dubcon/noncon, baby trapping, sex, general yandere content

~~~

Childe

Oh you know this man puts a baby in you day one.

Condoms? Never heard of them. Come on, they dull the feeling. It'll be fine just this one. And next time.

Would absolutely baby trap you. Maybe even blackmail you into it.

Oh, you owe the fatui? You can work off your debt. He'll make it nice for you, don't worry.

Once you're pregnant, you're never getting away.

Diluc

He was raised with the idea of having a wife and child.

Diluc doesn't really have to try, really, he just doesn't wrap it up. And he fucks you pretty often.

So unless you're taking birth control (which he definitely wouldn't tamper with, that's not like him no siree) you're gonna get pregnant sooner or later

He dotes on you while you're pregnant. Gives you anything you want.

Even let's you wander through the winery grounds until he deems you should be on bed rest.

Better get used to it because Diluc's always wanted a big family.

Ayato

Would be one to mess with your birth control like Diluc but would also be way more obvious about it.

Oh? Your pills are missing again? That's fine, he'll wear a condom. Promise.

Pretends it's just a happy accident but secretly you both know the truth

Bringing it up won't change anything though. So you grit your teeth and bear it.

Albedo

Wouldn't even try to hide it.

Once you're in his lap on Dragonspine. That's it. You're never getting out so might as well experiment.

And what better experiment is there other than to find out if a prince made of chalk can produce offspring?

It's fine. Don't worry. Albedo knows what he's doing. Don't cry.

He'll take great care of you. And the baby.

[shadows-writing-lounge]

Ganondorf General Horny Headcanons: Coochie Edition

(Ganondorf isn't the one with the coochie. At least this time.)

Content: pussy having reader, you/your pronouns, Reader described as smaller than Ganondorf. Sparse bodily mentions. Kinks from the first post apply. Warnings show up as needed.

Ganondorf size, kinks and Gender Neutral Reader

Dick Having Reader Version

Terms used: breasts, bosom, chest, cunt, clit, pussy, vulva,

~

Ganondorf appreciates his partner's form regardless of their assets. He doesn't go out of his way to make it known though the floodgates open of you where to ask about it. The curves and lines of your body. Any definition of muscle or smooth area of fat. He squeezes your hips, thighs, stomach and chest, saying everything he loves about them and what he'd do to them if you let him.

After he's done with everything else he'll have you on his lap as he touches the cunt between your legs. Feeling the sensitive skin around your inner thighs with light whispers of a touch. Sliding his fingers over lips of your vulva before dipping in. Praising you for being so warm and inviting to him.

Not up to penetration? Feel free to rub your pussy against his cock. Even if it's soft, feel it grow hard under your ministrations. Pussyjob or thigh jobs are welcome. Maybe tease him by just rubbing the tip against your clit.

CW: Breast mentions, if you have either chest dysphoria or dysmorphia skip it to the next red word. Also mentions marking skin with bites and hickies

If you show insecurity about your chest. Small or large it does matter. He tells you to press your bosom against his erection. This erection is just for you. He cums where you want he has plenty to spare.

He'll kiss, bite and suck your breasts. If you can come from just nipple stimulation he'll abuse this knowledge.

If you can bruise visibly he'll mark them up with hickies and bites. If you ask him not to he'll relent.

Hylian

CW: mentions of breeding/impreg but as a way to make fun? Implication that reader can get pregnant. Go to the bolded word to skip.

Teases you about the nature of your relationship. Forsaking your race to be with him. A traitor, heretic even. Maybe he should sire a child with you to add further insult.

Nonetheless. He enjoys the mirth from it. Specially the size difference so easy to hold and to move. An almost mocking bite to the tip of your pointed ear before deciding you're properly prepared to take him.

Other hylians might not be allowed to touch but if you're up to it the Gerudo ladies would be up to discovering the differences of hylians and Gerudo anatomy. He doesn't trust most of the men under his rule but that doesn't mean he can't conquer up some phantoms just for your use.

-

I didn't have that many thoughts that I thought I would.

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Idk if this is too out of nowhere, but I imagine c!Wilbur with silver hair these days.

Like, I picture c!Phil with long golden hair, genuinely golden, not straw-colored or whatever, and royal midnight blue eyes, to match c!Kristin having star-speckled black space colored eyes. His skin is pale and clear, like he's a doll made of the finest porcelain and the richest materials. I mean, it's not too far off. I headcanon that c!Phil was made by the other gods to serve the Goddess of Death- since Death couldn't create life of any sort, even to serve as her Angels.

c!Wilbur is human because he's not exactly of godly descent, because again, Death can't create life. He's half angel at most, so he ends uo mortal. He'd have a longer life than is typical for humans, but that’s about it. Doesn't manifest any Death Angel Powers either, unless you count persuasive speech a Death Angel Power. (Spoiler alert: it is, in fact, an Angel Power. He makes ppl fear death less, for better or worse. c!Wilbur just has low self-esteem AND was dense enough to not notice.)

c!Kristin plans for c!Wilbur and his descendants to become Angels of Death too. She wants them to live human lives to their fullest beforehand though, because the cycle of life and death is beautiful, and even though her domain is a whole half of that cycle, she still wants her children to experience everything that life can give them before they join her domain.

c!Wilbur has silver hair and violet eyes. They look like a dark dusk sky- but he always claims his eyes are purple, not violet. Purple is the color of emperors after all, should he not have eyes fitting of an emperor? c!Tommy, as a result, canNOT distinguish purple and violet, he keeps calling violet 'purple' and vice versa. (He initially annoys c!Purpled bc he was constantly messing up & calling the guy 'Violeted'.)

c!Wilbur cares about c!Tommy, but he's also jealous, because this random kid, unrelated to any Angels(as far as they know), has bright blonde hair and clear sky blue eyes. He looks more Angel than c!Wilbur, the son of the Angel of Death(he doesn't really count Kristin as a parent bc she didn't actually have any part in siring him).

So he sort of encourages c!Tommy acting childish and pulling pranks, because then, at the very least, HE will be the one acting properly between the two of them. Hard to look like an Angel child when you're acting like a demon child, yknow?

c!Tommy doesn't think much of it though, and once comments that he and c!Wil look a lot alike, because they both have light-colored hair and their eye colors are similar too, from c!Tommy's childish perspective. This fuels both the loving brotherly instincts AND the jealousy.

The jealousy and low self-esteem also affects c!Wil's treatment of c!Fundy, who has bronze hair. Neither think c!Fundy will develop Angel Powers bc surely the DNA is all watered-down by now? So c!Wil subconsciously treats c!Fundy as someone who will never amount to anything, because no powers mean not many viable achievements- and c!Fundy is definitely not a politician like himself.

BUT turns out the Angelic genes (seemingly) skipped a generation, and c!Fundy starts dreaming of future deaths. He doesn't tell c!Wil bc not only will he not be able to help, he will also, most likely, be jealous. c!Fundy doesn't want to navigate that kind of change in their relationship, because what they have now kinda sucks, but c!Fundy fears it'll get even worse if c!Wil finds out about him having a power. AND, he wants to be seen for who he is and what he can achieve, not just for the random Death Angel Power he can't even control. Wanting to be seen as a whole rather than one aspect only, basically.

I also imagine c!Fundy, after he dies, will become the Angel who's most loved by mortals.

c!Phil never went through death, never understood the fear and uncertainty that people feel when faced with death. For him, Death is his beloved wife, and eternal rest with her, and that's all there is. Even after everything from DSMP, he only begins to gain a faint glimmer of understanding.

c!Wilbur's got a glib tongue and he lessens the newly-dead souls' fears easily- but he's not an easy Angel to approach, he still has subconscious habits, wanting to rise above the people, create some sort of superiority so he doesn't fade into a nameless nobody, unworthy of being the son of the Angel of Death- or being an Angel of Death.

c!Fundy though, saw things from the crowd. He's relatable. Spiderman is popular bc his life is so relatable to everyone, same thing here. He knows the hopes and fears and uncertainty of people, because he's been there before. He comforts the dead, and the dead know he understands.

c!Philza was and is the Reaping Angel, he reaps souls like a farmer gathering his produce, just another day's work and nothing more.

c!Wilbur becomes the Rising Angel, he rises above all others, hands out pain and mercy like a brutally efficient royal whose words are inevitable.

c!Fundy becomes the Remembering Angel, he remembers his mortal days and strives to bring peace and rest to every soul, weeping with them, assuring them, sometimes giving them just one more moment for the temporary goodbyes that feel so permanent. He guarantees illnesses will fade, promises you will see them again, and swears on his honor for peaceful sleeps.

The story of the Remembering Angel are told and retold, always with more being added. The angel of eternal peace and rest, with red gold hair like warm fire, and beautiful golden eyes.

Yeah anyways it's nearly 2 AM and I should probably sleep. Or write something I guess. The creativity juices are very clearly flowing like rivers rn. I actually have no idea what I wrote above this paragraph, I usually read over posts before posting but none of that tonight. I will POST and GO, either to sleep or write. I have no idea if I even said what I wanted to said. If I don't like this post in the morning I can just private it or delete it or whatever.

Yeah Lilly OUT peace and love yall

[valve3nthusiast]

So. Yknow those mechpreg fics where the sire's coding can sometimes be "overwritten" by enough transfluid from other mechs, to the point where the baby takes after the new sire?

Rodiway accident baby au where Roddy discovers he's sparked post-mutiny, and tries to cover it up by throwing himself at Thunderclash('s spike) >:3

He and Getaway were having a (supremely unhealthy but he thought it was kinky) fling right before the mutiny, and he catches the pregnancy while its still early. Rodimus... does want the baby, but does not want it to get out that he was fucking Getaway

The easiest way to hide that is to make sure there's an "obvious" sire. And do yall know what two bots happen to share a white, blue, and red paint scheme, with bronze faceplates? That would make it very easy to hide who the original sire was, even if the overwrite doesn't take?

I'm... honestly, not particularly into Roddy tricking Thunders into thinking it's his baby. Also, Thunderclash is very moral, and wouldn't spread it around if he knew Rodimus was sparked. So Roddy takes a risk and goes up to Thunders like, "Hi I'm pregnant. I don't want the sire to be involved. How would you feel about being my baby daddy?"

After Thunderclash's head is done exploding, and he's checked his reality matrices thrice to make sure this isn't a dream, he agrees with enthusiasm. He also takes up his duties as a sire with even more "enthusiasm." With the amount of transfluid he contributes, it will be an act of Primus if the baby doesn't look like him

Exactly how much Rodimus was/is romantically interested in either of these dudes is something I'm still debating over, but he definitely gets more affectionate with Thunderclash as the baby grows. Whether that's his own feelings or the carrier coding is something he's trying to figure out too...

This is ×1000 better if it's a Getaway isn't eaten by the scraplets au. He's stuck in the brig and trying to get gossip from the visitors because he's desperately bored when he hears that Thunderclash(!) got Rodimus(!?!!?!) sparked, and he knows immediately that something's off. Like, he and Rodimus were fucking for a decent amount of time, he knows Roddy doesn't like Thunderclash. Maybe he doesn't quite put it together, but he's absolutely suspicious...

[final-milf-ratchet]

Not the magnus anon, consider, ultra magnus orgy with Predaking, Optimus, and Wheeljack.

Maybe he gets sparked 👀

Big, heavy, refineries. Also babies. Full of babies. Between Optimus' breeding kink and Predakings probable breeding kink(at the very leat repopulating his species) and wheeljack definitely being a kinmy fucker. He is fucked out and full of transfluid.

Who r u and how TF did you get my notes app!!!!! 🫣🫣🫣 Akkslqkakskwwaaa Am I that obvious!?!??! 😭 Breeding kink so strong it shines through da goddamn blog 😔😔

Okay but idea: instead of Ultra Magnus, Wheeljack and Predaking fighting, it devolves into an orgy 😳😳 maybe predakings in rut or something, he's obv pissed at losing the rest of the predacons, but luckily for him he's got a nice big bot in front of him perfect for breeding.

They do fight of course, well, Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus think they're fighting but Predakings trying to get a perceived rival (Wheeljack) out of the way long enough for him to claim Ultra Magnus. Wheeljack gets thrown into the wall and gets back up just in time to see Predaking fingering Ultra Magnus open, just enough prep so Ultra Magnus can take the heads of both of his spikes.

^wheeljack trying to figure what he's supposed to do, he just gained respect for Ultra Magnus and now realized he ALSO wants to fuck him

Maybe fucking you mate on top of your defeated 'rival' is some kinda instinctive predacon thing 🤭🤭

Optimus comes back to check on them and make sure Wheeljack and UM are okay, and instead walks in on Ultra Magnus being spit roasted, covered in paint transfers that make it clear Wheeljack and Predaking have both fucked him multiple times. Optimus and ultra Magnus have been dancing around a whole 'thing' since Magnus landed on earth, so of course he's going to want Optimus to take a turn filling him up with transfluid.

They ground bridge back to base later like "surprise! New dragon autobot :)" and the kids are distracted enough by a cool ass dragon transformers they don't notice Ultra Magnus hiding away until the transfluid bump goes away. But it turns out with three attentive sires, the bump doesn't go away. In fact, Ultra Magnus just gets bigger as the sparklings of a prime and a huge predacon (and Wheeljack's tiny bitty that was kinda a surprise cause she was hiding behind her siblings in the scans) grow inside him. Poor Magnus 🤭🤭🤭

(also poor fowler, having to deal with these horny robots having BABIES. Maybe him and June can have a nice date night to make up for it lol)

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

some wwdits finale thoughts--

i found that okay but wasn't nuts about it. i feel like i would've liked to see it strike a more tender emotional note with most of the characters. (i get the "they never change~!" argument, but i feel like it's somewhat at odds with the show itself, and there have just been so many good earnestly touching moments throughout the years that i definitely wanted more of those here at the end!) wanted more laszlo and nadja and maybe a fond little farewell to their iconic marriage. it kind of shocked me that laszlo, nadja, and colin were left so in the background while guillermo and nandor got so much of the ending. (though i can't complain because i love them dearly and i do think of them as the two main characters of the series, and the characters who changed the most, even if they can't tell they did.)

i did enjoy the ambiguous nandermo of it all (although i wish they would've hugged 😢 they both needed a hug and i needed them to hug, okay), and i especially liked that guillermo "decided to leave" to give the documentary some closure but then immediately came back to be like, "jk, HEY BESTIE!" because guess what! guillermo's life doesn't always have to be sacrifice! guillermo can have what he wants! he can embark upon a new life out in the world AND stay in his weird thing with nandor and his vampire besties! and, i guess, fight crime and do things in the shadows with nandor in their underground lair!

also cute that nandor and guillermo ended up in bed (well, in coffin) together at the end of the episode, just like nadja hypnotized us into imagining as the most perfect ending we could possibly imagine with our simple little human minds! (that's the one us hulu viewers got, anyway!) i did definitely earnestly believe for a second there that they were gonna make out in the coffin instead of what actually happened. le sigh!

random thoughts:

was nadja dolly in this episode (aside from the rosemary's baby hypnosis) and i just forgot from finale brain scramblies? i felt like i was missing her.

feeling like they could've done more with the monster and, idk, tied that to the theme of this season a little more somehow (whatever the theme of this season was). i just feel like something got left hanging there. maybe something to do with laszlo and colin and parenthood and daddy issues.

nandor's continued crush on the guide why?? you know what, i won't stress over it. i'll just cling to the fact that he committed so hard to his life with guillermo that he somehow made the underground lair happen.

wish they'd called back to guillermo's vampire slayer powers more somehow. i just feel like we needed way more of that!

i wish we could've seen seanie and charmaine and the baron and the sire again :'( like maybe they could've thrown a viewing party of the documentary at the end!

also: omg, i want more about the documentary (or documentaries)! who are these maniacs out here making multi-year documentaries about vampires and what role are those documentaries supposed to play in society?? they should've given us at least a little bit more about that! come on!

i think we need a movie to wrap up these loose ends and finally provide a nandermo embrace. a movie and six seasons and a movie, if you will.

p.s. JACKIE DAYTONA! i am also pretty tickled by the thought that the events of "local news", perhaps the most chaotic and deranged episode, happened twice.

p.p.s. NANDERMO BAD GUY FIGHTING SPINOFF PLS!

p.p.p.s. headcanon: nandor and guillermo both watch the finale episode someday and envision the sitcom-marrieds dream sequence as their perfect hypnotized ending. are forced to confront their feelings at last.