#hc that neither of them can cook for shit

[dewey-ing-it]

Donald: HELP! I TOLD DAISY I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Della, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

[sideysvault]

༘˚⋆HC’s of Deadpool and roommate!reader ༘˚⋆

Pairing: Wade Wilson x gn!reader

Mostly platonic with romantic undertones.

Word count: 519

Warnings: Some foul language and canon typical violence

────────

• Neither of you cooked very often, so Wade memorized by heart all of your favorite orders in every restaurant, cafe, and bakery in town. He frequently buys you something from them every time you attend to his injuries or do something nice around the house

“Hey, Pool. Can you do me a favor?”

“I would literally murder whoever you asked me to, and take the blame for the crime if that was what it took to please you ”

“Can you wash the dishes?”

“Nope.”

• When you are getting a bit too stressed about work or start self isolating again, He would spontaneously take you to what he liked to call “Roomdates”. They usually involve getting you out of the house to do something fun like the arcade or go karts.

“Stop bleeding all over the floor!. We’d totally be fucked if we had a rug”

“But we don’t own a rug, Pookie”

“Stop fucking calling me that. And stop leaving your filthy body parts around the house. Why do you need them if they are detached?”

“Ok!. Ouchie five thousand”

• You two would engage in constant bickering. You both had strong personalities and were absolute drama queens. Luckily, the fights would usually end when someone would burst out with laughter.

“What are you doing? Virtual sex? It thought I was the disgusting freak”

“It’s asmr you idiot. I’m trying to get some sleep”

“Wow. That is just so sad. Technology these days is getting scary. What a fucking cuckoo world we live in…” (He fell asleep in the first 10 minutes of the video).

• Deadpool would always hype you up when you got well dressed. He tried to get you out of your shell and encouraged you when you went out of your comfort zone.

• Wade is secretly a huge nerd and has made you watch every single Star Wars movie.

• He gets random splurges of energy and cleans the whole house up and down.

• You always remind him to eat at least two times a day and to sleep as much as possible. You would also leave bottles of water around the house so he remembers to drink it. If you were feeling hopeful, you also slid effervescent vitamins in the water bottles.

“I’m basically immortal. sweet cheeks. I don’t know why you are trying to turn me into a green juice girly”

• He would be obnoxious and refer to you as ‘mommy’ in front of other people because Wade knew how embarrassed you’d be if you could hear him.

“Sorry guys, as much as I enjoyed being a crime-fighting shit swizzler, Mommy wants me home by eight o’clock”

• You would always have to put very loud music whenever he is pleasuring himself because he is apparently incapable of being quiet.

• Usually, you don’t wear a bra around the house and he always makes some stupid joke about it.

“Woah, turn off your flashlights. It’s like i'm being blinded by them”

• Your shared home is truly the place where he feels most at ease. And to be honest, you have never felt safer or happier with any other roommate.

[hollisiguess]

im bored so y’all are getting some hazbin hcs

Alastor is aroace and agender but he does not know it he has no clue what ANY of those words mean

Rosie actually knows that Alastor is all of those but to fuck with him she doesn’t tell him however she will from time to time call him one of those (for example when she says she knows Alastor is an ace in the hole)

Alastor and Rosie are in a qpr!

Velvette and Vox are besties they will gossip about everyone and everything

Velvette is a non-binary lesbian who uses she/her

EVERYONE in hell assume that the vees are a polycule and for the chaos they never correct anyone

Velvette barely tolerates Valentino and would like to beat the shit out of him at any given time

Ok I have to restrain myself with Velvette so last one even though Vox has beef with Alastor to everyone’s shock she hangs out with him every once and a while over some tea

Lute is aroace but she and Adam are « dating » bc people kept asking Lute out would never take no for an answer and it was making her uncomfortable

Despite everything Adam does care for Lute and is a good friend towards her hence why he agreed to the fake dating plan

Vaggie before getting her wings back would get HORRIBLE phantom pain from them and whenever Charlie would ask what was up she would always dodge the questions and Charlie wanting to respect her gfs boundaries wouldn’t push to much

Vaggies love language is acts of service and Charlie’s is physical touch

Charlie ADORES Vaggies wings she thinks they make her gf even more gorgeous then she already is

Vaggie is actually insecure of her wings as they remind her of a past she’s rather forget but Charlie fawning over them does make her like her wings a bit more

If Charlie is cold Vaggie will use her wings to make her warmer

After the battle against the exorcist Vaggie went back to thank Carmilla for her help and the two got to talking and ended bonding now they meet weekly at Carmillas to practice battle together (the both enjoy it greatly) and sometimes it leads to Vaggie staying for dinner

Carmilla Carmine is essentially Vaggies mom/mentor

Vaggie bonded with Carmillas daughters and they see eachother as sisters

Charlie will sometimes head over to cannibal town to give Rosie a visit and she now calls Rosie Auntie all the time

Vaggie brought Charlie to meet Carmilla and Charlie brought Vaggie to meet Rosie (both were super nervous to meet each others respective mom/aunt figure worried they wouldn’t approve)

Husk and Cherri used to hate eachother but after Angel forced them to hang out they grew to like eachother in a I hate u and hope u die/affectionate type of way

Angel does Cherris hair and I will not elaborate

Angel can’t cook for shit and almost set the hotel on fire many times (he’s now banned from the kitchen)

Vaggie however is a great chef!

Husk taught all the members of the hotel who didn’t already know how to play poker, poker

The hotel guests now have game night which is usually the entire cast struggling while Alastor, Husk and Vaggie sweep and have a rivalry between themselves the others are trying tho!

Alastor also taught the residents chess

Nifty eats the pieces

Im not elaborating on that last one

Vaggie and Angel actually like one another (PLATONICALLY) even considering one another one of their closest friends but neither would ever admit it out loud

Alright now that that's said Angel and Vaggie have mini cooking lessons in secret (WITHOUT ANY FIRE for safety reasons ofc) so Angel can make food for his friends

Lucifer and Vaggie actually bonded a lot especially given both are fallen angels

When Lucifer found out why Vaggie was cast out and how Vaggie had to physically restrain him from (somehow don’t question how he'd even be able to get to heaven to do it) beating the shit out of Lute

Shickingly Lucifer, nifty and Husk are friends and hang out

in fact Lucifer knew Husk before the hotel and had already grown fond of him

Sir Pentious and Charlie are besties

Charlie was the first person who Sir Pentious actually told he liked Cherri (the others still knew but like he actually told Charlie)

Sir Pentious makes Alastor babysit the egg bois after the outing he had with them a while back

Sir Pentious does like Emily but she kinda makes him sad as she reminds him so much of Charlie and he cant see her anymore given she's currently in hell

Razzle was always super attached to Charlie but Dazzle wierdly enough got super attached to Vaggie making her even angrier with Lute when she killed him

Imma end the hcs here cause this is already a shit tone lol

[shaunamilfman]

Me when I see your domestic Shauna hcs and immediately decide I need a Nat version so this is my formal request for some

If you want to ofc no pressure I just love your writing

-📝

Domestic Nat Headcanons

pairing: Nat Scatorccio x Reader note: no crash au. nat in her 20's. idk why i answered this so quick tbh

in my mind, Nat's a bartender. maybe opens her own bar one day in the future so she can get away with giving a few free drinks to people that aren't assholes. she charges the assholes double, of course. 

sleeps till like 2 every day and has black-out curtains over every window in her apartment. if you like natural sunlight, your ass is going to have to go outside. 

if you're asleep by the time she gets home, your ass will be waking up. she never does it on purpose, she just has no idea how loud she really is. humming quietly in the shower after work and not even thinking about the fact that the wall would amplify it. you don't have the heart to tell her to stop. 

on the flip side, she never really gets that annoyed if you wake her up while she's asleep. just rolls her eyes as you get up, and pretends not to be pleased when you kiss her forehead. immediately rolls back over and falls right back asleep. it's almost impressive how quick she is. 

blasts music while she's getting ready, or doing just about anything that allows her too. you're always coming home to her gaming and blasting music on her days off. 

night owl even on her days off, always has been. it's a rare sight to see her up before noon, and it's only if you or one of her friends specifically asked her. leaving the house with her sunglasses on and almost hissing at the sun. 

Nat can't cook for shit except for a few staple foods that she'd eat every meal if you'd let her. she's not necessarily bad at it, she just doesn't really have the patience for it. 

her space constantly looks like a hurricane came through it, but she always miraculously knows where everything is. if you try to organize it for her, she'll be so lost. messes it back up the second your back is turned. 

You constantly catch her in the middle of the night making the weirdest snack combination known to man. If the sight of her eating it doesn't make you want to gag, then she's not doing it right. 

has a half feral cat with some mean ass name like ‘bastard’ or some shit that she leaves food out for. she saved his life when he got stuck and almost starved, and got permanent scars as a thank you. the cat comes and goes as he please, and neither of you are sure how he's getting in or out. 

she always pretends the scars were from something much cooler whenever somebody asks. it's a different story every time. you think she must have a list somewhere she adds to when she gets bored. they're starting to get really creative. 

you witness the cat getting into a nasty street fight with another cat and Nat's just like “hell yeah, go bastard!”

the first time you visited Nat's apartment, the only furniture she had in the living room was a beanbag chair and a TV setup propped up on a box. gallantly offers you the bean bag chair as she eats on the floor cross-legged next to you. 

she insists that she was always going to get more furniture and that it was just temporary, but you're not so sure. the first thing she buys is this beat to shit couch that's somehow the most comfortable thing you've ever sat on. she's so proud of it. 

if you didn't force her to get more, Nat would only own one fork, one spoon, one plate, etc. insists that she can just watch them.

likes going out with your or her friends, but isn't as much of a fan of hosting the events. makes it harder to just leave when she starts getting tired of them. always tried to make you be the bad guy whenever she wants to go. “sorry guys, she's tired.” meanwhile you're wide awake. 

Nat's really good at fixing things, mostly out of necessity. still, if something’s busted, there's a good chance Nat's already on her way to the hardware store to get parts before you've even noticed. she really enjoys the process of fixing shit and ends up getting really into cars because of it. if it wasn't for the hours, she'd consider being a mechanic. 

absolute coffee fiend. you rarely see her without a cup. only drinks it black and will turn her nose up at the sugary stuff. she's not pretentious about it though, it's just how she likes it. 

Nat randomly comes home with little gifts for you, tossing it at you without really acknowledging it. if you press her on it she'll say some shit like “saw it and thought of you.” 

she's not a big fan of surprises. she has a bit of a routine and whenever there's a major interruption to it she gets a little antsy. with the way Nat grew up ,she really appreciates knowing just about how her days going to go before she starts it. 

Nat really enjoys watching movies with you. it doesn't really matter what it is as long as she can just turn her brain off and watch. she likes physical contact, but isn't super big on cuddling per se. the type to lift your legs up into her lap when you're laying across the couch.

[shveris]

my jjk headcanons, part 3

tumblr pls give me more colors

part 1

part 2

part 4

satoru’s favorite color can only be seen with the six eyes. he’s tried explaining it to his peers multiple times but it just left him frustrated and everyone else very confused like “wdym you can see different colour spectrums????”

modern!au sukuna calls the number on missing animal posters, imitates the noise of the animal that’s missing and then hangs up (he does the same with missing children ones, too, if he’s feeling particularly unhinged)

modern!au yuuji has a letterboxd account and his reviews are the funniest shit you’ll ever read

he does the same with steam game reviews, too, and at some point dragged megumi and nobara into his shenanigans as well

first year suguru said “eat the rich” and satoru asked “why do you wanna eat me????” (shoko cried tears of laughter). this is how suguru found out satoru’s a nepo baby

adult satoru brings nanami cds and vinyls from emo/alt/rock bands as souvenirs whenever he has missions abroad. nanami keeps telling him to stop but the first thing he does when he arrives home is listen to them

nanami is also who megumi got his taste of music from since nanami babysat the fushiguro siblings some times when they were younger

cult leader suguru calls shoko whenever he gets a serious injury and asks her to come over and heal it (she gets there as fast as she can)

quitting smoking was very rough on shoko but babysitting the fushiguro siblings and studying for her medical license was a great distraction

modern!au choso doesn’t have the tattoo/mark over the bridge of his nose, instead it’s just a huge scar he got as a kid during some accident

megumi likes listening to rain sounds while falling asleep

satoru’s a little (read: huge) nerd. his bookshelves are filled with lectures and studies about physics and math theories, documentations of all kinds of natural sciences, he keeps up to date with everything in the field and even peeked into biographies of big science people

despite satoru and suguru being very cat-coded, shoko is actually more of a dog person (how does she put up with them? we’ll never know)

nobara regularly uses megumi and yuuji to test out her new nail polishes. she’d wipe it off for them after but at some point neither of them cared anymore so the boys just run around with colourful nails some times

when we see sukuna eat popcorn and drink soda during his fight with mahoraga, it’s because he saw yuuji eat/drink all those things while he was in satoru’s basement. he got curious and wanted to try himself but we saw how that ended

an addition to the hc above, sukuna also has forgotten the flavours and textures of all kinds of foods. modern era foods would really mess with his taste buds because heian period food wasn’t particularly known to be as flavourful as it is today + they didn’t really use oil back then. sukuna would certainly be insanely overwhelmed if given a modern meal

this is not really a headcanon but also not canon because gege never specified it: only cursed spirits can see sukuna’s tattoos. there’s several indications in both manga and anime that humans & shamans alike cannot see the tattoos (correct me if i’m wrong) but in season 2 jogo’s inner monologue proves that he can see them. i’d like to think it must be because he’s a cursed spirit, which means all cursed spirits (or high ranked ones) are able to see the marks

when satoru held yuuji in that basement for two months, yuuji taught him how to cook because “sensei, you’re an adult. how do you not know how to make tamagoyaki??? we can’t order takeout twice a day!” (yes yuuji, he can, he’s gojo fucking satoru, he has a black card and swims in money)

yuuji is good at every sports, even the ones he’s never played before

[dehydration-stati0n]

Kid, Killer, and Law Friendship HCs

Rules Word Count: 1.0k Spoilers: Wano

Kid

Kid is hard to get close to, but once it happens, you've got a friend for life

If he catches anyone messing with you in any way, he'll beat the absolute shit out of them

He's ridiculously protective in that way, especially after what happened with Killer in Wano, he's gonna make sure none of his other friends experience pain or humiliation without him intervening

Despite what his reputation suggests, he's fairly decent at comforting people in his own special way.

He'll hand you a bottle of bourbon and the weapon of your choice, and the two of you will go blow off some steam in the area nearest to you.

If you ever asked him to build you something, he'd reluctantly go and do it. Even if he muttered a few curses under his breath as he did it, he'd secretly be really happy you asked him. He takes great pride in what he does.

If you're friends with him, it'd almost be expected of you to be a part of his little crime sprees. Killer is a good accomplice on his own, but imagine having two accomplices. The three of you would be unstoppable.

He'd almost be magnetized to you, following you around wherever you go. He really likes being around people he trusts, and you happen to be one of them. Even if neither of you say anything.

He might yell at you sometimes, but he doesn't mean it in a mean way. It's kinda like his love language. He gets loud to show he cares about you. It's another one of the weird quirks he shares with people he likes.

Arm wrestles anyone??

I could see them being one of his favorite past times.

Kid is really open-minded. You could bring up almost anything and he wouldn't judge you for liking or hating whatever that thing might be.

He wouldn't mind helping you put on makeup, he actually really likes doing it for his pals.

If you manage to get him to open up to you about his emotions and how he feels, just know you're at the very peak of affinity with the redhead.

Just you, him, and Killer, dressing horrendously and causing problems.

Killer

If you're friends with Kid, you're friends with Killer. You either get both of them or none of them.

He's so thankful you're here, he desperately needs someone to help out with watching Kid

Do you like cooking? He likes cooking. Maybe you could do it with him? There are a lot of people to feed and he'd really appreciate the help.

His way of comforting people is WAYY different from Kids. Some might even say more humane.

He's more of a hugger in these situations. Not much of a talker but he can comfort you physically.

He and Kid are horrible to have as enemies, but if you somehow manage to become friends with them, they'll be the most loyal friends you've ever met. Whatever you need, Killer is there to help you out.

You two are the therapy friends for the crew.

He's really good at calming people down, so if you're ever mad, stressed, or upset in any way, it's probably best to go to him instead of Kid.

He's really knowledgeable about random things within the One Piece world and will be very internally excited if you ever wanted to sit and hear him ramble.

He likes to check in on you and the other members of the crew as often as he can. You've all been through a lot together and he likes to make sure you're all good.

He has a great memory and hardly ever forgets important dates. So if no one else shows up for your birthday or whatever niche date you might find important, just know Killer would be there.

He really likes doing things for others. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if you woke up one day to breakfast already made, or errands you were meaning to do already done.

Killer has such a great adoration for graffiti art and likes to go out with you to spray abandoned houses or broken walls with paint. He likes the artistic expression that graffiti holds.

Law

He's really big on quality time so he'll frequently invite you to sit with him in his office or out on the dock depending on if you're underwater or not.

He wouldn't mind it if you rambled on about something, in fact, he'd almost encourage you to do so.

He'd constantly ask for your feedback on a lot of his plans or thoughts he has.

The absolute dryest sense of humor. All. The. Time.

He'll try to solve just about all of your problems. Your noticing you have slow reflexes? Try this. Coffee's giving you headaches? Let him try making a pot. Something about your eye is bugging you? Let him take a look.

I hope you like cheap doctor visits, cause this guy will gladly treat you for free.

Sure, he's normally a private guy, but he'd be so honest with you. If you ask, he'll tell you. You're probably the only person who's seen him smile, or laugh for that matter.

He'd let you draw on his arm with a pen while he worked.

He's pretty strange himself, so if you had any out-of-the-ordinary hobbies, he wouldn't be the one to judge.

He wouldn't ever admit it in front of the Strawhats, but he really does like to explore, especially if it's just the two of you.

There's just something about wandering a new area with someone he finds endearing that's just so pleasant to him.

He loves to have mini-debates with you. Something about his thoughts being questioned makes him fall into a welcomed rabbit hole of new ideas and stronger plans.

Your lawyer in times of trouble.

Most nights it'll be you, Law, and the rest of the crew, sitting around below deck and playing whatever board games y'all got on you at the moment. Chess, Monopoly, Uno. Sometimes you guys'll even do puzzles.

[mooncalf87]

hihi!!! if ur accepting requests, could i ask for some raine x eda date hcs??? like, where would they go? casual or classy?? do they kiss??? what happens after a date????

if ur uncomfortable/dont wanna do thai requests, no pressure!!!

(Takes a drag of a cigarette) 's been a long time sense I've made a hc list. Not sense the dreaded hazbin hyperfixation.

Anything for you my queen i can see you going down the wormhole of my posts in my notifications just please don't find my old cringy toh stuff from 2022

Raeda date hcs!

Raine is a big fan of classy stuff but they only actually like to go to fancy restaurants if special occasions, that way it's more like a rare treat!

For the most part they pack a lunch and find a cozy spot in nature, but sometimes they'll go to the pub or a smaller restaurant

For their own dates Raine LOVES cooking, the food in thr castle was absolutely terrible so they got used to making their own food and they actually got really good at it.

Their dates are mostly just chilling with them and their instuments- Eda found a way to play without using magic so now they've written all kinds of new duets!

LOTS OF KISSESSSSS raine is a huge physical touch person and eda pretends to hate it but everyone and their mom knows she doesn't.

On the occasions where they go to a fancy restaurant the kids are usually there (the times they go to fancy places are usually for birthdays/holidays/graduations etc) but neither of the parents mind at all. Eda and Raine still consider it a date and they love having their kids there with them- even if King doesn't have good table manners.

Sometimes the kids will surprise them with going to the human realm for the day or even a whole night so that Raine and Eda can have a cozy movie night or just quite time in the house without kids there.

Genuinely I want to write more but I have a fever and feel like absolute shit so uh. This is all you get for now yeah LOL I might update this later if I think of anything else

Snuggles all the time everyday. Raine needs some form of physical contact always if she is within their sight, even if its just something as small as their thumbs touching.

I think we all know what happens after the date

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

windblade/quickshadow hcs?

quickshadow is actually still a code name. when she ran into windblade, she introduced herself by her real name on accident.

windblade has trouble remembering her life before being remade by primus, so she doesnt talk about it. quickshadow looked into her past as a gift for her, leading them to become closer.

quickshadow was the first bot windblade met on earth, and the same goes for her. they both agreed not to tell anyone else about each other. (quickshadow bc spy, windblade bc divine mission/destiny)

they met each other before meeting with their respective teams.

windblade and heatwave get along extremely well, which makes quickshadow VERY jealous because heatwave is her bff and windblade is her gf. she doesn’t need them to be friends!!! (its like the episode with dani blades and bumblebee)

quickshadow helped windblade find tech and helped make her caches

windblade frequently shows up to wherever quickshadow is on her missions to help out

when cybertron was eventually rebuilt and the old council was replaced they got a place together

post-rid, when the bee team was getting trained to join the rescue bots, quickshadow was constantly pulling windblade away from the others for “private training.” (they were pretty much just flirting the whole time)

when windblade realized quickshadow could fly they started to train their aerial moves together. they have coordinated routines and fighting plans, and they also sometimes just fly around to talk

quickshadow doesnt usually wear anything on her face, but she knows how to do makeup. in the mornings when windblade is too tired to do hers, quickshadow does it for her. (occasionally windblade returns the favor and does her gf’s makeup)

post-rid, they like to go on dates to museums and try to find their old stuff (bc y'know windblade was unconscious for like the whole war bc of primus and quickshadow had to be in hiding)

neither of them can cook for shit so they pretty much always get take out or get food from their friends

windblade technically doesn't have a job so quickshadow is the one who pays bills. windy is sorta like a feral cat in that sense. basically she just goes around completing divine quests and then she comes home and her wife takes her to dinner.

sorry i took so long to answer this also!!!

[pumpkinsy0]

Any purly living together HCs?

im rubbing my hands together like a fly for this one WOO

•i think pony wouldve asked curly if he wanted to move w him bc he wants more opportunities for himself, but curly was unsure for a while if he rlly wanted to make that big of a change in his life

•yes yes the curtis gang would feel bittersweet about pony leaving but imagine the shepards</33, i feel like tim and angela would be surprised that curlys moving out bc hes always wanted to stay there, but at the same time hes growing up

•i think before this curly and tim wouldve talked about it a lot, like if curly rlly wanted to move or not, its a bug thing for em, tim wants to stay and to have curly leave would rlly change him i thing, not for the better or worst, just change him

•angela would be upset but hey, what can she do about it, she punches curlys arm and tells him he better not kill himself out there and to keep in contact

•i WAS gonna say “mwahaahhahaha make them move to nyc so i can have them close to me and insert my own experiences but also so pony could have more opportunities” but,,,ill b nice and say they moved far but not THATTTT far, idk where they r tho

•BUT if we wanna go down them just living together, lets just say theyre in the same state as everyone still, just in a different neighborhood n what not

•NOW its more upbeat, curly thinks the area is boring but pony likes it so its whateverrrr

•neither of them can cook woukd be me being an ass, pony can cook, he just doesnt like to, curly however rlly cant, so most of the time theyre eating bagged or take out food, either that or someone just brings them cooked food they can eat as left overs

•im sorry, no pathetic wife curly for this one, curly gets a part time job here, he wants to help pay the rent, and ponys glad bc this economy is ASS

•they would fluctuate chores, but nahhhh, they usually both stick to the same ones

•theyve fallen asleep on the couch numerous times instead of just going to bed, they both have shit sleeping schedules neither will actually address

•pony will call home nearly everyday just to update on what's going on, and curly calls home not as much, but still pretty frequent

•bc ponys so used to not having the door locked bc thats just how he grew up, curlys always scolding him, bc r u TRYING to let a serial killer in???😭😭

•they dont rlly let anyone inside their house, they just,,,dont,,,like unless ur family, chances r ur not getting invited to their house

•they realized they could take any stray that they wanted home w them and just havent stopped bringing them in since

•theres always SOMETHING in their house left on, a light, the tv, SOMETHING

•i personally want them to live in an apartment bc it would b funny if curly was like “its so our water bill is t high” and pony KNOWS they dont pay for the water, but just goes along w it (also yes they shower together more)

•theyre like, almost never fully clothed, especially curly, his shirt is just always off, theyre just comfortable that way, IM NOT SAYING THEY HAVE THEIR BARE ASS OUT BTW🙎🏽‍♀️🙎🏽‍♀️

[collidescopeeyes]

I love your recent swain hc! Can u pls write modern swain who would always receive handwritten notes thats always attached on his lunchbox from reader, but if reader is upset or mad at him there would be no notes or his lunchbox's food is just a plain bread

This is so fucking funny asdlkjskh

Modern!Swain misses his handmade lunches after a fight

- Swain always looks forward to your lunches, they're a highlight to his day. Not only are you a fantastic cook, but it's a little reminder that you care in the middle of what's usually a busy and high-stress day. He keeps every single note in a little box in the bottom of his desk, and if he ever needs a pick-me-up to get him through the day he reads a few at random.

- You don't fight often, but the absence of your little notes stings worse than anything you say in the heat of the moment. If he gets a lunch with no note he's spending the rest of the work day trying to figure out how to make it up to you.

- This time though, he fucked up. He's been busier than usual lately and you got into an argument about his awful work-life balance; you mentioned that it felt like he wasn't putting in much effort and he said maybe you should be putting in less effort. Instant regret but the damage was done, you storm off and he resigns himself to the doghouse. Still, his lunchbox is still on the counter when he wakes up (it's an expensive couch but it ain't built for sleeping on), so maybe you're not that mad at him? Still, he resolves to apologize as soon as you're ready to talk.

- Lowkey he's dreading lunch all work day. The upside is he gets plenty of work done; no one's dares to bother him considering the aura of death he's radiating. Rumors start circulating about who's gonna get fired but Darius tells them not to worry, he's just sulking cuz his wife's mad at him. That starts a whole other round of rumors–you’re so nice, wtf did he do to get you mad at him??

- How does Darius know this? Well. You ran into him in line at the coffee shop you both frequent and you ended up venting to him–it's obvious you're upset and he's a surprisingly good listener. You walk away feeling better and resolve to talk to Swain once he gets home–you were maybe being a bit petty with the lunch thing and you’re sure he'll apologize and you’ll work things out together if you give him a chance. Oh, but if Darius didn't have lunch for today already, did he want this? You prep everything the night before since Swain leaves so early, but you hate wasting food so you just took it with you. It's the least you could give him for hearing you out, plus it saves you trying to eat two lunches today.

- He accepts, obviously, partially cuz you're a great cook and partially cuz he doesn't want to turn you down. On his way into work though it occurs to him, if you're giving him Swain's lunch then wtf does Swain have? He has to know.

- Swain's pretty punctual, so Darius just shows up to his office at lunch time–he has some actual business matters he needs to talk to him about anyway, co-owner to co-owner. Definitely not because this is the most entertaining thing Darius has seen since Swain was stressing out over you introducing him to your parents. Nope. Swain actually welcomes the distraction at first–Darius rarely has lunch with him so it must be important.

- Picture this. Swain, opening his lunch box to a single slice of white bread. Unbuttered. He stares. He looks up. Darius, shit eating grin, unpacking his lunch. And Swain knows that's his fucking lunch, that's all the stuff you had in the kitchen and your cooking and Darius doesn't even like cheese.

- You know that meme where one kid gets the cute bear cutout bread and the other one gets crust with a bear shaped hole in the middle? Yeah.

- Neither of them says a word. You could cut the silence with a knife. Swain gets up and leaves without another word. He's taking a half-day and nobody dares stop him. Actually no, he's taking a long weekend, Darius can manage without him and if he can't, that's his personal problem. He's got a heartfelt apology to make.

- (He does in fact apologize, you sort it out and you go on a nice weekend trip together. Darius will insist this was part of his plan. Honestly the company couldn't handle it if you two fought for much longer, and employees everywhere offer up a thanks to your benevolence–being around Swain when he's in a bad mood is stressful.)

[azereus]

Dating Gaz hcs,, personal hcs and how I'd think he'd act in a relationship

Warnings: Occ Gaz(?), no pronouns expect you, and bad spelling, that's about it?

Imagine Gaz as the type of boyfriend to give you forehead kisses. Tall or short, he's giving them regardless because he enjoys giving them (and also your reactions to them)

Gaz (at least as a personal headcanon) has piercings. Argue with the wall he'd look good in them. He has an eyebrow piercings and ear piercings

And on the topic of piercings- Gaz absolutely adores piercings on his partners. Doesn't matter what kind you have, he adores them regardless. He thinks you look amazing in them and will tell off people who say otherwise

Gaz adores tattoos. Both because they can look really pretty when done right, and because he likes tracing his finger on the ink, it's surprisingly relaxing for him

He will 100% get matching tattoos with you if you've been together long enough

Moving on- Gaz is a decently good cook, not the greatest but he knows what he's doing. The type to lightly smack your hand with a spoon if you try to grab something

If you're cooking, then he'll either be a little shit and poke you in the sides depending on what you're doing or he'll just walk up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and ask what you're doing

Don't get me wrong, he can be a little shit but he also adores those soft moments with you. Cuddling while it's raining or while watching a movie are probably some of his favorite things to do with you

(Another hc of mine-) Gaz has body scars from serving in the military, mostly around his torso and back area. He likes when you trace your fingers around or on the scar tissue. He has no other reason for liking it other than just knowing you're not worn off by the sight of them

Cuddling is a favorite of his. He likes when you hold eachother in bed, arms wrapped around eachother and legs intertwined. Spooning is another favorite position of his. He doesn't exactly care who's holding who, only caring about being close to you

He is not a morning person btw. Unless you both have something to do, he's not getting up and neither are you. He will hold you down til he wakes up, then he can make breakfast for you!!

He and you share the house chores. He will not argue on it, you're splitting them 50/50. He'll do the laundry while you clean the dishes or vice versa.

If you get into an argument or a fight, he's normally the one to make-up before you. He'd be lying if he said you weren't the best thing to happen in his life

So, overall score? 200/10, househusband material

[zuffer-weird-girl]

I just notice most of my writings I make a reader that can cook due to self insert... so now I'm doing the opposite-

Hcs that you can't cook and what would they do...

Can't cook as well so you both are screwed. The end.

Jokes apart, man really can't cook for the life of his.

He does know how to use a oven, he does know some recipes... but does he actually cook? Naim.

Is terrible even.

I don't even doubt he can burn water.

Poor bird tried so many times to make something for you or him but it's just never ends up right so he just gives up with a pouty face and goes to munch on some KFC :(

Much like you do.

So basically how the heck you guys live? Well, Keigo has a shit ton of money, so you guys can go out plenty of times or order a take out.

But alas, neither of you always want bought food because neither of you are made of money.

So Hawks being Hawks gladly will annoy ask Endeavour-san or Tokayami to for some leftovers.

Yes. Yes he asks food from a freacking teenager.

Enji truly is pissed at both of you.

If you get insecure over this he just smiles at you and assures is no big deal.

"We can always have our favorite foods delivered dove. Besides, cooking is not my talent either, so don't worry, you are great at everything you do anyway."

Man is so cute, he supports you muchhhh

But if you want to learn he will go all out to be your personal cheerleader.

Might tear up at the first dish you make him.

Screw if it's bad or not he is swallowing the whole thing down.

He won't regret it. Even if it ends up having to spend all the afternoon on the toilet.

Pls call a ambulance if he starts to throw up-

Not so screwed.

Man can do the bare minimum

Like... instant noodles and hamburger steak.

He is not much on complicated dishes, he fears he might screw up and didn't even tried once. For both disinterest and fear of messing up.

If he catches you putting yourself down due to this, he will put aside everything he was doing, grab your hand, yank you to the bedroom and assure you are great... and also you are so fucked... literally.

Yeah, do what you can with this information.

Man couldn't care less iff you are the masterchef or burn pasta, he will love you either way.

Besides, you are luck if you don't cook for him honestly.

Man is such a picky eater that if he ends up with someone that does cook he will give them headaches.

A nightmare to decide what to eat.

Despite hating fish, he will absolutely go out of his way to make a Italian pasta with tuna if you do like fish.

Aaaww <3 look at the loveable sociopath being a good boyfriend

Kurogiri.

That's it. That's the hc.

Kurogiri is your life saver. You're in good hands, man is good at making food.

HOUSE HUSBAND MATERIAL FIGHT ME

Hari doesn't care honestly.

He can cook for both of you.

Sweet dependable man ❤

Dude knows how to make a full course meal out of only 4 ingredients.

Put him on masterchef

He reassures you all day that is fine if you can't or don't want to cook since for him is not all that big of a deal.

The only thing he wants you to do, if you want to help him, is that you pass the ingredients or just crack the eggs

Cue him laughing like a hyena when you accidentally drop the eggshell on the bowl but not the actual egg.

Listen, even if you end uo ruining a recipe this dude will laugh. Not at you, but at the situation.

Because to him, is a fond memory he can look back at on his worst days to make him smile.

SOMEONE MARRY THIS MAN HE DESERVES IT-

Oh he is such a bitch about this-

Man knows how to cook some basics dishes and rarely a more sophisticated one but... he simply doesn't want to.

Is too 💫messy💫 for the pretty prince 🤴

He won't actually order or obligate you to cook for him since he is better than that I hope but do expect some sarcastic remarks that even Mimic could do an omelet.

I want to slap him for this shit-

The moment you bring up his disdain for kitchen messes and dirty dishes he will shut up pretty quickly with a scoff.

Arrogant lil sh-

So, either his subordinates make the dishes for you guys(i recommend chrono again), or he takes you out on a restaurant that he trusts.

Let's forget he is bankrupt for just a sec, pops will end up crying about the bill of the restaurant later

But there is this RARE situations where he will do something to impress you.

Man made Unagi for you. Show some respect.

And to your surprise it actually taste good!

Don't tell him though. We are sick of his God like syndrome.

And also, don't expect too much of this... as I said, is really rare that he would do something like that. He doesn't like to get his hands DIRTY

[jaxie101]

fnaf movie hcs part 3 bc im insane

mike HATES fish. like i’m talking a rage filled hatred he’d rather die than eat that shit

abby regularly goes to school in pjs bc mike will come home from his night shift and take her straight to school

vanessa was jealous of mike as he talked about how perfect his family used to be, the guilt she felt for his brother evaportes for a split second because she thinks he was at least privileged. and then she actually founds out more about his childhood and she’s like oh…

mike once got sick while working, but being the only adult with no other income he kept working, wearing himself down more and more until his body gave in. abby found him delirious with a fever in his bed and didn’t have anyone to call. she didn’t want to phone their aunt bc she’d take her away, she tried to call their dad but he never picked up. (this was before they met vanessa) and ended up just copying what she’d seen on tv shows until mike was aware of enough to try and take care of himself (she cried against of him for hours bc she thought he was going to die)

mike’s love language is acts of service/gift giving

^^ for vanessa’s bday he gets abby as a secret spy to ask her questions until he has a good idea of what to buy her (he works overtime ofc) he even buys little face masks and nail polishes so his girls can have a spa night while he’s working and vanessa cries in the bathroom bc it’s the first time she’s felt loved

mike and vanessa essentially project their lack of a childhood onto abby, they plan big parties for her bday, vanessa buys them a big tree for xmas, they take her to amusement parks and festivals. they don’t realise the other is thinking the same as them

mike hasn’t had a birthday since his brother went missing (i hc he went missing on mikes bday but wtv) he always makes sure to work a double shift when it comes to his bday so abby forgets and his parents just pretended he didn’t exist. …and then vanessa comes along and plans a big day for him

mike once broke his arm when he was 16 and didn’t tell anyone, he waited a few days until he went to the school nurse. he used it as a way to punish himself for garret, and he knew his parents wouldn’t care anyway (they couldn’t afford the medical bills and it made his home life so so much worse)

abby stays awake some nights and wonders if mike would trade her for garret, she wonders who he loves more, who he’s more willing to keep

vanessa calls him mikey to piss him off

abby and mike are those people that get hyperfixated on a food for weeks and then just… never eat it again. whenever venessa does the groceries she buys ten boxes of pizza pockets for mike and two trays of strawberries for abby and now neither of them have eaten them in weeks (she’s going insane)

mike falls into depressive episodes and just can’t pull himself out, he tries to cover them up for abby but she knows, bc she always knows

vanessa and mike trauma bond in the kitchen at night about their childhoods (mike desperately wants to know what happened to his little brother and vanessa refuses to share the details)

vanessa’s only toys when she was little was from her father’s victims, after garret went missing his parents never bought him anything again. abby gets a new toy for doing well in school, she gets whatever she wants when they’re proud of her, when they can afford it, when she’s just being cute idk

vanessa hates grapes

mike used to stay awake every night and wait for his brother to come home, that’s where his insomnia originated from

extreme survivors guilt

mike is a picky eater, he hates certain textures of food and just rotates between safe foods ever day (one day vanessa cooks them spag bolognese and mike just sits and picks at bc he can’t stand the textures but he feels bad :( )

[danidoodles124]

I'll balance out the furblyg with some blygbank

don't worry fellas there's enough abi to go around /j

anyways, I'll give post-canon and already in a relationship hcs because I haven't mapped out their get-together story yet

Emma fell first, Abi fell harder type shit

Emma has always been super flirty with everybody, but when she gets super flirty with Abi, she never expects a comeback. and when she does get a comeback, she's speechless for a moment before she can stutter a reply

Emma big spoon Abi little spoon (rare switch up)

tap below for some more :)

Emma's afraid of silence and Abi's afraid of (what could be in) the dark, there's a noise machine and a nightlight by their bed

Emma finds out she's not a huge public affection gal anymore, she likes keeping something to herself, like abi and their sweet intimate moments. like clinging to abi the moment she walks in the door

yapper (emma) and napper (abi) gfs

Emma kinda worked Abi up to the idea of doing a gf reveal for her channel, and Abi was a little fearful at first, she found herself comfortable after a little while on a q&a stream with Emma

olive theory <3 Abi hates them, Emma loves them

shoe theory <3 Abi is converse, Emma is Vans

something I see Emma being diabolical about is having cold hands, and putting them under Abi's shirt for a reaction. Abi doesn't hate it, she just swats her away when she does it. however whether or not abi nearly broke emma's nose the first time she did that is neither here nor there, but there was no break so it's okay

Abi isnt too keen on her birthday anymore because of the date being so close to the canon events, but Emma always makes sure to do something small and sweet for her, like a little cake for them to share and a small present. it means the world to Abi

Emma's the polar opposite, it takes Abi two months to plan a perfect party where friends and family gather to celebrate her. as they get older, Emma just prefers to go out for dinner with Abi and a few friends instead.

Abi is a clothes theif, pass it on

Emma isn't big on video games, but she'll play the occasional Mario Kart just for a little victory. Emma's Rosalina and Abi's Shy Guy.

Abi has a bunny named Amethyst (yes, from Steven Universe)

Abi, Dylan and Nick spend hours playing games together when they get the chance, Abi passing out on the couch with a headset on isn't an uncommon sight.

they seem like a leave love notes around the house couple. abi puts her words into drawings, Emma puts hers.. well into words. sometimes she can get a little suggestive with a card or two.

neither of them really enjoy cooking, but emma can follow a cook book if she must

Emma's totally a "dance in the kitchen while the oven is on with cookies in it" type, and Abi falls head over heels in love with her even when she gets dragged into a dance

Abi has glasses... this has nothing to do with blygbank, okay maybe Emma steals them every so often and plays "can't reach" with her gf

when overwhelmed or in need of some help, Abi likes pressured hugs. like after a nightmare, she just needs Emma to like, lay on top of her or sit in her lap with her arms around her and ground her until she comes back.

Emma is the opposite, she switches up depending on the situation. so, before Abi does try to help, she'll give her a chance to be offered, and decline, for example

"hug?"

"No thank you.. just, hold my hand?

or

"hug?"

"please" and she's got arms around her in seconds while she talks herself out of her turmoil

i have more if anyones interested :) I think about them a lot when I'm not drowning in nutrition work

[tumbleinthenet]

Tell me more about Sam x Fraize. About the relationship and headcountry with them. I think I'm starting to fall in love with this couple oh my God

funny enough, for all i think about them i haven't completely nailed down their dynamic.

them being kind of strange animal girls is the first most obvious thing i can point to. sam thinks sugarcube is so funny (i like to think if that horse could chainsmoke it would) and frazie's in awe of how sam seems to be able to talk to her like she can.

i've talked to a few friends about them so i'm going to copy-paste what i said there and try to explain it a little more.

1: sam has the upper hand. she has SLIGHTLY more experience with people around her age. also shes sam if she was failing at a social interaction shed just dig the hole deeper until she came out on top (just keep escalating until she sounded normal)

2: frazie does not know what people are like outside of her family and sam is. the way she is. so a lot of their interactions are sam saying the wackest shit and frazie being like haha wow thats so cool *has no fucking clue whats going on*

3: theres a mutual air of razzing?? like theyre definitely making fun of each other but its generally not mean spirited. sometimes frazie goes too far she probably cracks a dead dad joke (me and my friend hc that sam killed her dad because of a bts image from before the game was done, no clue where it came from but it's haunted us since) and hurts sams feelings real bad but she doesnt mean to!! shes just used to going on the full offensive with her siblings

4: sam is probably not used to calling people her friends. i think in her mind she does not have friends, she has allies (and comrades you get it), so neither of them really know whats going on for a while.

i do also think frazie would not bat an eye at sam's food. i think sam probably can cook but just chooses to put varying levels of effort into it and i think if she made something weird, much like raz, frazie would just go for it.

these images are also how i feel about their dynamic.

ANYWAYS aside from that kibasniper wrote a sam and frazie fic (i need to think of a ship name for them that isnt bad) and thats helped inform how i feel about them!! it's called in motion go read it

[soulsilvers]

ult kantrio headcanon masterpost

⬇ here i will be compiling as much as possible of my very specific hcs about my favourite play dolls from pokemon that ive rambled about everywhere else, usually at 3 in the morning. and will be updating this post whenever i will. this is still just a small percentage of everything going on in my head lmao. ⬇

does not include futureverse, give it time in the oven.

RED 💖

mute boy born to a family of jolly, talkative and enthusiastic fishers. they make this their entire personality and reds house is very fishing themed. hes... absolutely not as enthusiastic as a kid and sick of the smell of fish, but enjoys it as an adult.

his pikachus a much bigger beast than most pikas in comparison. Supreme Champion.

during G1 he is very polite and well mannered in contrast to green and leaf. his room is tidy and he goes to bed early. though he defends all dumb rowdy shit leaf pulls anyway. this is reflected in his pkmn being more of the gentle giant sort.

he has learned a lot of cooking + baking skills from his mom and the smell of his outdoor cooking can instantly summon leaf and green (reluctantly) to him during G1. he is a huge sweet tooth as well and prefers tea over coffee.

only looks retired as an adult; often sleepy and napping and walking everywhere in crocs. boring as hell but hey its endearing when red does it. but he is very much in peak physical strength and still quickly sweeping other trainers' teams. despite his usual serene demeanor he can still go for the most rash decision and just go apeshit w his pokemon.

TERMINALLY OFFLINE. no way is he going to understand what "ratioing team rocket epic style big W" is going to mean. types bluntly, like your dad. last tweet from him was six years ago, a 240p quality video about encountering an ursaring in a hut in the middle of the woods.

his usual pokeball throw resembles a baseball pitch.

exactly just as geeky as he is athletic. he enjoys the battle tree, but he still wishes for more. his dormant interest in wildlife biology and conservation that he had as a child is soon reignited and hes gonna get that PhD.

enjoys haunted locations too much. even leaf is confused by this! he decides to buy the shittiest abandoned house. which is also haunted. but reds eyes sparkle as always, man is FLEXING and determined to renovate this thing while green is frantically experiencing literally every emotion at once from jumpscares to "huh red knowing how to renovate is kinda ehehehe" then again pacing around sobbing over what were they thinking buying this house.

GREEN 💚

his and daisy's mother was a musician with a similar personality to him. his father, prof. oak's son, was more like daisy and a humble gardener w grass pkmn by his side. neither were too interested in battling or going on adventures.

he is extremely multifaceted when it comes to styles and music tastes, for example. somehow this man can combine prep, jock, geek, stoner and punk rock to his style all at once. his music taste is ALL.

nowadays his eevee is sporting the same hairstyle as him.

millennial still trying to make his podcast a big thing. his poke-twitter is fairly professional. relatively offline, not hip enough for zoomer trainers.

a francoboo. had his boy crazy era in kalos and thus more experienced than red when it comes to relationships. some of his french ex bfs still chase after him but shit bricks every time red answers the door instead.

at least he got them to take good fancy pictures of him in kalos. and he cooks kalosian recipes quite well, spoiling red with those nicely decorated crepes. but likely he experienced some paris syndome too. when you realize lumiose city kinda often smells like piss...

not very artistic. he draws like a 5 year old.

bad at figuring out what lesbians like. he buys leaf ellen degeneres merchandise :(

hes just kind of. eternally stuck in 90s slang and still having his default insults be so hilariously lame they wouldnt sting anyone. like buttcheek.

this is a more recent thing about my design for him but his left eyelid is perpetually droopier than the other.

LEAF 💙

showed up inexplicably in pallet town one day and simply asserted herself. no further elaboration. her origins remain a mystery. she biked all the way inside oak's lab and kept biking.

diversity win! in this universe leaf is closer to being an "ash counterpart" than red is.

since shes always seeking new thrills, she lives in a van as an adult. it looks pretty amazing and cozy from the inside and plenty of room to cook! on the outside theres like. airbrushed venusaurs and wizards and venusaur wizards of all sort.

a big ball of positive meatheadness to the point where shell def blow up a lot of things thinking everythings gonna be just fine. some people want her dead for this.

absolutely will put anything in her mouth and sometimes this is terrifying. tries to always make her cooking look like something "fun" and colorful that kids would enjoy but usually fucks up the look.

on-off relationships with women, she makes a new rival with lgbt undertones every two months. popular gal like that. dont ask her for relationship advice.

quite online and very charming. types like cher on social media. still, she remains popular and loved amongst the youth.

had a geocities in 2004 where she documented her adventures (bc i want G1 to be as 2004 as possible like that). it was an eyesore to look at.

often forms a trio with may and kris and they go on roadtrips eeeeverywhere. they either love her one day or think of her as a dumpster fire personified the next day.