#having this chapter done will make me sooooo happi

[pmdtherogueteam]

Chapter 3 progress: [50% sketched]

[gguk-n]

Chapter 1- Anonymous Conversations

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N formed an unexpected bond with a boy behind the screen. He doesn't have many interest it seems, except for reading her stupid poems.

{Reader's POV}

12/07/2012

Dear Diary, Stella is leaving for Canada tomorrow forever. Today was the last day of school before the summer break so I went to Stella's house after school. It's so shitty, how can she leave me like this and before the start of high school. I don't have any friends other than her, what am I supposed to do??? This isn't fair, first Faye moved back to her home country a couple years back and now Stella. It's like they don't even care about me. I made a google plus account so we can stay in touch. Actually everyone's on google plus, I'm just late to the party. I'm sure we'll still be close.

02/01/2013

OMG!! I think I'm in love. There's this new boy band, One Direction. Ava told me about them last year but I brushed her off saying they weren't my cup of tea, but OMG!!! They are fucking perfect and I love Niall so much. He's so cute and has the dreamiest eyes and his accent, I'm gonna faint. I bought the Take Me Home album yesterday!! I even put up their poster above my bed, hehe!! Sooooo, I may or may not be writing now. I think I'm gonna be an author. The stuff isn't great like Shakespeare but I'm sure I'll improve. I've written a couple poems and Aria read them and she thinks they are great. I'm gonna start uploading them on google plus. I made a separate page for it, under a pseudonym. If I really improve, maybe I can publish my work.

I was sat at my laptop, typing the latest story I came up with during lunch so I could upload it. There were a lot of people who were reading my work and even encouraged me. There is improvement, but then again, we can do better, I'm sure. My parents aren't very happy with how I'm wasting my time writing instead of focusing on my education since I'm in high school now. I finished typing the story and clicked the upload button, I got a comment on the post. It was from this guy, named Max, just Max. He always read all of my work and writes the nicest comments under them. I haven't spoken to him personally ever since my mother kept warning me about stranger danger and that it could be some 50 year old dude. But his comments are encouraging and make me want to write more. I hope he knows the kind of effect he's having on me.

My birthday is in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do since I don't really have a lot of friends. Even Aria is away during that time, so I don't really have anyone to go out with. My parents are busy as always.

So, out of desperation or sadness, I don't know which one, I posted on google plus saying that it was my birthday. The first person who replied was Max as always. I really wanna know when this guy sleeps or how he gets any work done if he is online so much. He messaged me personally too, to wish me again and even asked what I did. I couldn't lie because my heart was heavy, so I told him. I literally just unloaded about not having any friends and spending the day alone because work was more important for my parents. He was so nice about it. He spent the next hour talking to me and cheering me up. He's apparently 15, from Netherlands. He loves cats and lives with his dad and sister. He sounds like a fun guy.

After that, both of us ended up chatting on google plus regularly. I would message him immediately after school and spend the next couple of hours talking to him. Some times, he'd be gone a couple weekends but it was no biggy. I'm sure he had other commitments instead of entertaining a dumb teenager.

Max's birthday is on 30 September. I wanted to be the first one, so I stayed up late to match the dutch timings and wished him. He replied a little while later. He wasn't very excited about it. I get it, maybe his friends aren't there or couldn't make it to his birthday. I was gonna cheer him like he cheered me up. I wish I could send him a present. He really was a light in dark time. When I had no friends in school I could rely on, he came like the knight in shining armour. I just want to be a good and reliable friend to him like he is to me. He is such a sweetheart. We've never spoken on call yet. I guess I'm still a little scared and we've only known each other for a few months. I'm gonna hold on that but Max is a genuinely nice person in my eyes. But his dad doesn't sound like the nicest person from what he says, but I can't tell him that his dad is shitty so I just read his texts.

18/12/2013

Dear Diary, Maxie is the cutest. I haven't seen or heard him yet but I feel like he is. Otherwise, why would he encourage me to follow my dreams? He was so understanding and gave great advice. You might wonder why I needed the advice, diary. I told my parents I wanna pursue a degree in literature and we had a huge fight since apparently I'm throwing my life away and I should try to get a proper degree that might get me a job. Apparently, I'm not thinking straight. I've been thinking about becoming an author for some time now, it's my one passion, I've realised. And if it means struggling, I would rather struggle and be happy than be in a dead end job. Just because they are some big shot business people doesn't mean I wanna do that do. ugh!!! I hate them. Maxie calmed me down honestly, he heard me out and told me it was okay to follow my dreams. I think he is such a good friend. I won't tell him that, he has a big ego as is. LOL!!

I've been gaining a lot of traction on my posts on google plus. I have a couple thousand followers but Max is the most active of them all. Max is so effortlessly funny. He did ask one time if we could talk on call, I told him that my microphone was broken. I'm still a little skeptical. I know, even though I'm literally sharing everything with him, I've never spoken on call or video with him. Maybe some day.

04/03/2014

Dear Diary, I got a new phone and a new number. The previous one was one of my parents multiple numbers but this one is my own. I feel like an adult, hehe!! I made a whatsapp, maybe I'll share my number with Maxie and we might start chatting on there. Google plus had become a bit of hassle and I'm not uploading on it like I used to. I usually only open it to talk to Max. I think it would be better to shift it to another service. He's been a little busy this year compared to the last, didn't tell me much but I think it has to do with him being in his final year of high school. Can't relate, but I hope I'm done with high school soon. It fucking sucks. But on the bright side, I've gotten close to Nia and Aria and I could call Aria my best friend but she considers Nia her best friend. I don't mind being her friend. I have Max anyways.

Max has been quite busy lately, but I don't blame him. I would be busy in my final year of high school too. Even with all that, he has taken time out to talk to me. I did share my number with him, so now instead of google plus, which is a barren wasteland, we text on whatsapp. I've suggested talking on call some time when he's free, which hasn't happened yet.

We had set up a time to talk, it was really early here but I didn't mind, I was up anyways. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. I was anxious as well, what if he's some pedophile; all these thoughts raced through my head when my phone rang. Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Fuck was he flirting, is this flirting? A million thoughts ran through my head, no one's ever flirted with me before. I felt my cheeks heat up. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. There was a pause on the other end. I heard shuffling. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! The conversation flowed smoothly. It didn't feel like we were talking on call for the first time. I had a lot of fun talking to Max. He sounds like a teenager, much to my relief. He's just as funny on call as he is on text.

After that, we ended up calling each other regularly. Max would answer my calls whenever but sometimes I felt bad about calling him at the crack ass of dawn in Netherland so I would avoid calling him whenever. He is so kind and listens well but damn does he talk. Every one who knows me calls me talkative, if they heard Max their ears would bleed. But I like hearing him talk, he has the most random and vast knowledge, he's helped me write too many of my papers because I didn't have to research, I could just ask him; he's like a walking encyclopedia.

17/05/2015

Dear Diary, I think I'm in love. It's not some celebrity this time but I think it's Max. I don't even know that dude's last name but I'm in love. He not like the guys in school, he's so mature and funny and sweet and understanding and he supports me so much. I didn't know when or how but I think I love him. Obviously I won't tell him. It's prolly a crush since I have't dated anyone ever. I'll get over it, can't ruin my friendship over this. As is, he has gotten so busy. I think he is going to college. He didn't say it explicitly but why else would he be so busy right now if not applying for colleges. I don't know the dutch education system but I'm sure he busy pursuing higher education. He said he liked cars, I think he'll do something with cars. I didn't really ask in more details. I'm sure he'll tell me when he wants to. We have a chill friendship, we share when and what we want to. Alas, I hope this crush doesn't ruin my friendship.

09/08/2015

This is bad, my crush on Max has only gone on to increase. He's so kind to me, what am I supposed to do? Also he's the only one who can calm me down after a fight with my parents regarding my future. Sadly, he gotten so busy. He's gone for a while every few weeks. But lately he's been free. We've been talking a lot. He sounds a lot more rested lately too. I'm sure college is tough. But he's strong and I know he'll do it.

[Little did Y/N know, Max was busy racing across the world in Redbull's junior team. He was in his first year as a formula one driver, hence he was so busy. Max had no intentions of telling her, he liked being just Max, a guy from Netherlands who could talk to her. He enjoyed the disconnect he got with her]

[peachysunrize]

[ TANGERINE DREAMS ]

Summary: being stood up on his wedding day, Aemond's life takes a turn for the worse. Heartbroken and humiliated, he finds unexpected help in Helena's childhood friend, who helps him move back into his family mansion. Summer cocktail parties and a long stay at the Targaryen residency, Aemond might let the girl who's always been in his life make a home in his heart.

Tangerines, in general, symbolize prosperity, good luck and happiness. So if these delicious fruits appear in your dreams - whole or in the form of juice - it is usually very positive. A dream with tangerines expresses the desire and the possibility of progress and prosperity

Warnings: angggggst, angst, ANGST, no beta we die like Beesbury

Word count: 5k+

A/n: sooooo, thoughts pleaseeeee! I hope you like this chapter! omg we only have one chapter left from this series aaaaa🥹🥹 Comments and reblogs are appreciated<3

-> series masterlist <-

Chapter 9: don’t let me be misunderstood

Aemond.

Aemond.

Aemond.

Maybe you will grow tired of whispering his name to yourself, but you have been doing this for the past four or five hours while sitting by the edge of the lake under the clear starry sky, shivering with each cold breeze.

Aemond.

Aemond.

Aemond.

It sounds more like a prayer rather than his name. Maybe you are praying to him to take mercy on you and walk back the path he took earlier.

You rock on your bottom like a child, holding your knees to your chest as you stare at the reflection of the moonlight on the edge of the water. At this point, your head is emptier than the shadow of a cloud, and you do not know whether the shadow will darken by snow or thunderstorms.

There is little to think about, or maybe too much given how much you have been mumbling to yourself. You thought about all the little things his family said; about you, about Alys, about him — Even the mere thought of him hurts your heart, the flesh ripping slowly as if he has chained your heart tightly, squeezing it tightly.

Shuddering, you look up as the leaves rustle by the cold breeze, creating a soft sound that ripples through the air. You rub your bare arms, cursing yourself for wearing such a beautiful dress for a birthday you were pretty sure it would turn into shambles, but at least you knew Aemond would like it — you do not know if he did or not.

“Hey, loner.”

You turn around, finding Aegon making himself comfortable next to you on the grass, a bottle of whiskey in his hand as he hands you his coat.

“Go on, I’m pretty numb now,” he says, dropping the fabric around your shoulders, nudging you by his elbow, taking a long sip from the amber liquid, “What a shit show, huh?”

“Yeah,” you reply, voice hoarse and raspy with all the crying you have done earlier, sighing loudly, “Yeah.”

“C’mon, talk to me,” he urges you, handing you the bottle before he lies on the grass, staring up at the sky as he waits for you to say something, “I know my brother’s an ass.”

“No, Aegon—��� you sniffle, turning around to look at him, “He is… he is just complicated. He is a good guy—“

“A good guy would never let his girl be insulted in front of everyone,” he scoffs, taking another swig from his bottle, “You didn’t deserve that, sorry on behalf of everyone, Clementine.”

“What?” You ask, looking at him with wide eyes, totally surprised by how he knows the childhood nickname Aemond called you once, “How do you know that?”

“Fuck me,” he groans, slapping his hand on his forehead, “You tellin’ me he doesn’t call you this to your face?”

“No…?” You chuckle, resting your cheek on your knees as you smile softly at him, wiping the remaining tears away, “Does he do it a lot?”

“Duh! Every fucking time!” He tells you as if he is surprised by your confusion, “Oh, man, my brother is such a dumbass. He can’t shut up about you! Every time he opens his mouth all we can hear is Clementine this Clementine that, it’s honestly so annoying! I can’t fucking stand how lovestruck he is—woah, okay, I shouldn’t—” He sits up immediately, reaching to squeeze your shoulder when he notices your eyes watering again, your arms tightening around your legs.

“It’s not…” you take a deep breath,  letting the tears fall freely on your cheeks, “he was so lovely to me, I don’t know what happened but-but maybe I didn’t show him enough love, and reassure him—”

“You’ve got to be fucking kiddin’ me,” Aegon groans, dropping back down on the ground, “He fucked with you and you’re blaming yourself for it? Why the fuck would you do that? Are you a masochist or somethin’?”

“I’m not a fucking masochist, I just… I just love him so much! He thinks I will leave him too because everyone he’s ever loved once left him! Maybe I couldn’t show how much he meant to me, maybe I’m too weak to make sure he knows I love him and I’d rather die than let go of him.”

“Listen to me,” he urges you to lay down beside him, looking at the sky together as he continues talking, “Aemond is a really different man. He isn’t easy to love, hell, even Mum has issues with loving him—“

“That’s not making it any better, Aegon,” you glare at him, words falling from your lips coated in venom, “You’re telling me that even Alicent is hesitant to love him, and I’m supposed to just be okay with that? No wonder he chose to leave.”

“What we’re not gonna do is excuse his actions,” he slaps the side of your hip with the back of his hand, “I meant what I said, he doesn’t shut up about you, but he’s also hesitant about everything! You, me, Vhagar, he can’t let himself get hurt again, even though he knows you’ll never leave him on your own record. He fears the thought of leaving you, so he left you first because it hurts him less to think he didn’t like you enough instead of you not liking him enough.”

“It doesn’t make any sense!” You drop your hands on the grass in defeat, “He’s overthinking this! I know he’s still dealing with the thought of his snake of an ex but… but he needs to let himself feel loved!”

“He does feel loved, and those words didn’t come from his heart. They came from the dark voices in his head, I bet he couldn’t even look at you when he left,” Aegon explains, turning his head to look at your face, “I think you should go find him, I’m pretty fucking sure he’s beating himself to death for doing this to you. But remember that he is the one who needs to apologize, not you.”

“You’re right, he let them call me poor and a gold digger,” you chuckle, sitting up as you speak, “Do you know he said that our relationship was ridiculous?”

“Fucking hell, this guy is a twat I swear,” you laugh a little when Aegon fakes a cry, “Why can’t men be normal for a goddamn second?”

“You realize you’re a man too, right?”

“Yeah, and do I look normal to you?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, sitting up to give you a hug when you laugh, squeezing you into his arms before he lets go, “Give him a piece of your mind, okay? Make him regret it.”

“Fine,” you nod, trying to find enough courage to stand up and leave, but a heavy feeling grounds you, “I think… I think I’m afraid, Aegon.”

“Don’t be, he might seem intimidating but there’s nothing in his heart except the love he has for you. He’s just being a brat. Maybe slap him once or twice and he’ll be at your mercy completely.”

“I know you wanted to say give him a blow job, thank you for censoring your words,” you say, standing up before brushing the dirt off your dress, and handing Aegon his coat back.

“Actually,” he holds his finger up, giving you a teasing smile, “I wanted to say that you should probably sit on his face so he won’t be able to talk.”

“That’s your brother, you disgusting asshole,” you laugh softly, taking your heels in your hands as you walk barefoot in the path Aemond took earlier.

You remember how he would sneak away from dinners when he was a kid, running towards the empty stables with a book under his arm; it was one of the most exciting things for both of you when you searched for him all night, only to find him sitting on straws with a flashlight and his book.

Walking through the dark stables, you see only a few lights on, and your thoughts are confirmed when you slowly stand in front of the open door, finding Aemond sitting on the ground next to a seemingly sick horse, stroking its neck gently.

“They say she’ll die,” his voice comes out in a gentle tone, and for the second time tonight, your eyes fill with tears — the yearning makes your chest tighten, even if it has been only five or six hours since he left you.

You step inside the stall, cautious not to make any sounds to disturb the unconscious horse lying on the ground next to him as you slowly lower yourself next to him on the straws, your bare shoulders brushing against his arm.

“What’s wrong with her?” You ask quietly, trying to keep your tears away from streaming down your face; how can you survive when you hurt just by looking at his side profile?

“Old age,” he sighs, looking down at his lap, pressing his lips into a thin line, “It’s rare, but she’s been clinging to life for so long.”

“Was she yours?” You look at him, sucking in a sharp breath when he turns around to look at you, his face red and cheek covered in dried tears, smiling sadly at you.

“No,” he shakes his head and looks away from you, “She used to be Mum’s favorite. I remember when she would take us to different races with Uncle Gwayne, and tell us about how she was so close to becoming a champion herself with her.”

“Why couldn’t she do it?” You ask, reaching to hold his hand nervously, giving him enough time to pull away but when he doesn’t, you relax instantly.

“She got married,” his answer is curt, as if even the mere thought of his parents being together sours his mood, “Her marriage was the end of her dreams. Maybe she would be happier if she didn’t have us quite young, maybe we would be happier if we didn’t exist.”

“Don’t say that,” you swallow, frowning slightly as you reach to cup his cheek, turning his face to stare into his eye, “She’s much happier with you by her side, and I’m forever thankful for your existence.”

“You’ll be much happier without me,” he rests his palm on your hand, kissing your thumb as he keeps his gaze locked onto you.

“That’s not for you to decide,” you caress his scarred cheek, trembling a bit as you feel the warmth radiating from his skin, “I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, when I’m kissing you, when I’m holding you.”

“You deserve the fucking world,” he rests his forehead on yours, closing his eye as he lets himself get consumed by your touch, “I can’t give it to you. One day you’ll realize how damaged I am…”

“You don’t need to give me the world, Little nerd, you are my world,” finally the tears stream down your cheeks, soaking your face as you speak, “Don’t push me away, I’m begging you—“

“I’ll only hurt you, and you’ll leave me. Losing me would do less harm than being with me—“ his voice cracks, his hand moving towards your back, rubbing and memorizing every up and down of your waist.

“No, Aemond, no,” you shake your head frantically, sobs wrecking your body as you try to tell him how you feel, “Don’t give up on us! I’m sorry I couldn’t show you how much I love you, I’m sorry if I was not enough for you. But please, please, don’t let go of me!”

“Don’t cry, I can’t-I can’t bear to see you cry. I’d rather get stabbed to death than see your beautiful face covered in tears,” he begs, leaning down to kiss your tears away, “I’m not giving up on us, I…I’m just giving us a break so we can think. I’ve never been loved like you have shown me.”

“Then why?” You scream at him, fisting his shirt to pull him even closer, your nose brushing against his, “Why did you say we were ridiculous? Why did you not stand up for me when I was being humiliated by your family? If I’ve shown how deeply I’ve loved you, why does it feel like it’s not enough?”

“It’s more than enough, my gorgeous girl,” he kisses the bridge of your nose, and you feel his tears fall on your cheek. “I’ve been taking you for granted. I…I can’t even defend you against them. I was paralyzed. I wanted to vanish and never be seen again, and now I see why. I’ve failed and hurt you so much, not thinking about how me leaving you alone might make you feel.”

“I love you, Aemond,” you say, words falling from your lips in a breathless whisper, “I love you, I love you— I can’t put into words how in love I am because every time I look at you I feel like I’m suffocating with the amount of affection I hold for you! I’m not good with words, Little nerd, but…but I know that being with you would hurt much less than me moving back to Beesbury knowing we aren’t going to make it.”

“I’m not giving up on us—I…” he sighs, gathering his thoughts as best as he can before he replies, but in truth, he is just as much of a mess as you are, “I need to think.”

“I love you, and even if we don’t make it, just know that you are the happiest most memorable experience of my life,” you lean up a little, planting a gentle kiss on his lips, “Aegon told me about the Clementine thing. I didn’t know you remember.”

“How can I ever forget?” he kisses you again, his heart tightening with each peck he leaves on your lips, “You were so chatty about your silly dreams, and I can’t forget Hel’s confused face when she mumbled about you dreaming of Tangerines.”

“There’s still hope for us, right?” You ask, shaking your head and sobbing when he pulls you into his embrace, holding you against his chest tightly.

“There’ll always be hope for us,” he mutters against your hair, his fingers holding onto your shoulders as if the subtle touch would ground him and not let him drown, “I just need to think.”

“Yeah, sure,” you pull away, wiping your tears before you give him a small smile, watching as the first rays of sunshine fall on the entrance of the stables, and you take it as your cue to leave him with the hope of kissing him again, “I’ll see you inside.”

“You mean everything to me,” he whispers, watching you stand up on shaky legs, brushing the straws off your dress as you try to keep yourself calm and collected, but the soreness in your eyes makes it harder.

“And yet you didn’t say you love me back.”

You leave with one last smile, walking barefoot towards the end of the pathway, heels clinking to each other as you swing them with your hand, biting your lip to stop yourself from falling apart.

The numbness comes back. You can feel how your body gets hollower with each step you take towards the door of the building. Your feet ache, and you know there will be bruises on them in a few hours.

The voices from the inside of the building grow louder, and when you step inside the hall, you find your best friend and her brothers trying to keep their Mother sane while their uncle argues with their grandfather.

“Babe,” Helaena notices you when you close the door behind you quietly, crossing the dining hall to pull you into a tight hug, shushing you as you let your sobs wreck your body without a care in this world, “I’m so sorry, beautiful, so so sorry.”

“Hey…” Aegon appears beside you, rubbing your back while you bury your face in Hel’s neck, letting her calmness seep into your skin with each caress she leaves on your head.

“Where is Aemond?” Otto asks, his voice echoing in the hall, “He needs to get here and explain the mess he made.”

“What?” you whisper in disbelief, slowly removing yourself from Helaena as you look at him, “The mess Aemond made?”

“Father, please,” Alicent says, rubbing the skin of her neck with shaky hands, “It is not Aemond you should be angry at, nor it’s her mess.”

“We ought to be more careful than ever! Your boy has already ruined what we tried to build for so long when she decided to marry a woman nearly ten years older. After everything I have done, everything you have sacrificed, it should not be so hard to put a leash on him and make sure he doesn’t fuck around and make a fool out of us in front of Daemon!”

“What we built is gone, Father,” Alicent sighs, taking a large sip of whatever liquor is in the glass, “They have amazing lives, my children. They are happy at least, happier than me or Gwayne ever were.”

“Happiness won’t make their names pop inside their father’s will!”

“We don’t even like that man! We fucking hate him in fact, so you better keep your shit away from us,” Aegon spits the words out, huffing when he sees Otto glaring at him, “Aemond was ridiculed tonight, at his own fucking birthday and all you care about is his reputation?”

“He is the only person who can change things but now, for getting into another miserable relationship with a nobody, he has lost the chance!”

“She’s been Helaena’s friend for so long, Father. Mind your words,” Gwayne interrupts him, crossing his arms as he keeps his eyes locked with his father.

“Or what?” Otto spits the words out, his phone clutched in his hand tightly.

“Or I will break your fucking neck.”

You turn around as soon as you hear Aemond’s voice, clutching Helaena’s hand when he walks very slowly toward his grandfather with his hands behind his back, his head held high.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Otto replies, giving Aemond a challenging look, “You didn’t have the courage to open your eyes and see how your fiance was taking advantage of you, now you want to break my neck because I said the truth?”

“No one disrespects my girlfriend, not even you,” Aemond stands in front of Otto, his glare unwavering, “She’s only two years older, doesn’t come from a rich family full of snakes, and most importantly, she cares about me. So yes, I would break your neck, because she is different from Alys and even I can see that with one eye.”

“You are blinded by lust because you can’t fall in love in nearly three months after a failed marriage—”

“I swear I will strangle you to death—”

In the blink of an eye, Aemond grabs Otto’s collar, but luckily Gwayne is quick enough to reach them. You watch in terror as Alicent and Aegon try to separate Aemond from his grandfather while Gwayne holds Otto back. You can not see if Aemond is trying to hit him or not but even the idea of him getting hurt because of you makes you tear up.

“Aemond, enough!” you reach and wrap your arms around his middle, pulling him back with Aegon’s help, holding on to him tightly so he will not run off and punch Otto in the face, “Please, don’t give him another reason to lash out.”

“For fuck sake, Aemond, get a grip!” Daeron yells, and you see the sea of emotions in Aemond’s eye as he tries to fight off the anger in him.

“Me?” Aemond chuckles, running a hand over his face as he shakes his head in disbelief, “Me? I endured a night with the person who cut out my eye! I sat there and watched how they insulted someone I care about and couldn’t do anything to prevent it! I waited and took the humiliation on my birthday because I didn’t want to make someone else miserable by opening my mouth! Now you say I need to get a fucking grip? No, Daeron, it’s you, it’s all of you! You want to control my life but I won’t let you win this time.”

“It’s not about winning, Aemond—“

“We’re leaving,” he cuts off his mother’s sentence, grabbing your hand gently in his, threading his fingers through yours before he starts walking toward the door. You follow silently, squeezing his hand in reassurance as you let him guide you outside.

You walk hand in hand in tense silence as you walk towards the parking, finding the doorman running with Aemond’s car keys, handing them to him before he says a quick good morning. Aemond nods and leads you to his car, opening the door for you, and surprising you with a quick kiss on the crown of your head.

You give him a soft smile, sitting in the car and waiting for him to join you. The sunlight shines between the trees and warms your skin — grateful for the lack of roof of the car.

He starts the car, his lips pursed and a deep frown forms on his forehead as the sun shines on his face. He reaches for the dashboard and pulls his sunglasses out, putting them on before he twists the riding wheel, driving the car out of the parking lot to the main path.

You lean your head on the back of the seat watching the clouds move as Aemond speeds up. He shocks you by resting his hand on your thighs, gently caressing the bare skin through the slit of your dress.

You turn your head to look at him, noticing his stiff shoulders. He is battling for peace in his mind, you are sure. Maybe he feels guilty about how he treated you, maybe he just wants out from his family. 

He sighs, his thumb moving up and down the flesh of your thigh, enjoying the warmth you provide him with. You rest your hand on his, caressing the blue veins under his skin with the tip of your nail, skimming your finger over his knuckles gently.

You do not realize how much time has passed, but when you wake up, the Targaryen mansion comes into view, and you find Aemond pushing his sunglasses up on his head as he drives the car through the opening gates, looking stressed and confused from all the things that were said during the past few hours.

“We’re here,” he tells you softly, getting out of the car with ease before he walks and helps you out of the car as well, guiding you inside the mansion by his palm on the small of your back.

“Good morning, sir,” one of the house holders says, and Aemond nods at her, “Would you like to have breakfast here or on the balcony?”

“I’m not hungry, but she might be,” he answers stoically, turning his head to look at you, but his face softens slightly when he notices your disappointment written all over your face.

“I’d love to have breakfast on the balcony, please,” you let go of Aemond’s hand, smiling at the householder as she nods and smiles back, leaving the two of you alone to take your breakfast to the balcony.

“I need some time to think,” Aemond whispers, looking down at his shoes as he rocks on the balls of his feet, “I’m sorry I dragged you here, but I… I need to get my thoughts together, and couldn’t just leave you alone with them. I need a break.”

“It’s okay, I’m around if you need me,” you sigh, walking away from him upstairs towards where the balcony is, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Your day is dull, your mind is even worse. You had your breakfast with a bitterness you had no idea you possessed whilst you thought about Aemond, wondering what he was thinking about — probably the chaos that his family created and left the two of you dealing with the ruins of it later.

You tried to make yourself busy with doing whatever came to your mind; a long walk to the Weirwood tree and back, wandering around the mansion in hopes of finding something interesting, skipping meals, and snacking on fruit. But nothing seemed to make the gaping hole in your chest go away nor did they help with the dark thoughts that came into your head.

Now, sitting on the edge of the bed, you regret taking a long walk; Your feet are bruised and you notice a few painful blisters on the side of your feet, hissing as you apply a healing cream on the skin.

A knock brings you out of your thoughts, and before you can answer, you see Aemond pushing the door open, standing in front of you with tears stinging his eye. He has taken off his clothes from last night, now he is only in an old t-shirt with sweatpants.

“Hey you,” you greet him softly, watching him curiously as he takes a shaky step to the bed, slowly kneeling in front of you, taking the cream from your hands before he squeezes the tube on his palms, warming the cream before grabbing your ankle to gently apply it on the wounded skin.

“How did you hurt yourself?” His voice is barely above whispering as he kisses your shin, closing his eye when he hears your hisses in pain.

“I…I walked barefoot to the stables this morning,” you explain, eyes casted away from him, trying to escape from his intense gaze, “And I took a long walk a few hours ago.”

“You shouldn’t be so careless,” he rests your foot down, grabbing the other one in his warm hands as he speaks, “You need to take better of yourself or you’ll get hurt.”

“You’re doing a fine job in hurting me and taking care of me,” you scoff, rolling your eyes when his eye falls on your face.

“And I’m sorry for that.”

Your head snaps in his direction when you hear the tremble in his voice, lips parting in surprise as you look at his teary eye, his cheek pressed against your leg as he looks at you — his gaze is so intense to the point of melting you in place. 

“I…” he starts, resting his forehead on your knee, “I don’t need a break.”

“Aemond, you need some time—“

“I don’t need a break because I love you,” he looks up at you with the utmost adoration a human can ever possess, “I was a fucking idiot before for pushing you away, for doubting what we have, but I love you so much, my Clementine.”

Your lips quiver, and with a shaky hand, you reach down to cup his face, caressing his cheek as the tears fall on your fingers softly.

“I love you in a way I never thought I would,” he closes his eye, leaning his head into your palm, “I imagine my life without you in it, without your voice, without your smile, w-without you calling me that stupid nickname. Do you know what I saw?”

At this point, you are both crying, and with every word that slips past his lips you lean closer to take a good look at the desperation in his face, the longing, the love.

“I saw nothing, it was all black,” he sniffles, one hand coming to rest on the back of your neck as soon as your forehead touches his, “My life doesn’t exist without you. There is no hope left for me if you are gone. I will perish and turn to ashes if I don’t get to hold you at night. I will burn by the humiliation and misery I created for myself because I believed you would leave me.”

“Oh, my love,” you cry, pulling him up just a little so you can reach his lips easier, pressing a quick kiss, “Are you sure you’re not saying these because you feel defeated?”

“I’m sorry for directing my anger at you, I’m sorry for not voicing my love sooner. I was scared, fucking hell, I am scared because this is… this is not even near half of what I felt for anyone in my life; it’s blinding, it makes me bleed with need for you. All I’m asking is for you to accept my apology and take me back.”

“And if I don’t?” You ask, his lips hovering above yours, and you see him smile sadly, his large hand coming up to rest against your wet cheek.

“Then I will try to cope—“

“I’m not giving up on us,” you cut him off, shaking your head as you wrap your arms around his neck, “We will get through this together. We will talk, we will fight, but I won’t ever let go of you. There’ll always be hope for us.”

“I’m so fucking sorry for saying what I said,” he bites his lip to keep his composure, but his vision is blurry with unshed tears, “I’m not giving up on you, I promise.”

“I won’t either because I love you.”

“I love you,” he breathes against your lips, sealing his words with a deep quick kiss, “I love you, I love you—“

You press your lips to his, tasting his salty tears as they mix with yours, moving in sync while you explore each other's mouth after the chaos that pulled you apart.

“We’re okay,” you whisper, wishing to know if you will be able to hold and touch him like before, “We’ll be okay.”

“We are okay,” he nods frantically, “I love you, my gorgeous girl. We’ll be okay. I won’t leave you.”

“Neither will I,” you pull him into your arms, pressing his face to your neck as you sob, holding him close, breathing in his calming scent, “I won’t leave you, I will never put you through the pain you endured again.”

“I won’t do that either,” he presses a kiss to your neck, brushing his nose against your earlobe, “You’re my everything, I love you.”

[athenamikaelson]

Written in the Stars Ch. 13

Klaus Mikaelson x Soulmate!Reader x Elijah Mikaelson

Word Count- 2.6k

Warnings- Swearing, Karen’s

A/N- This is just a TINY chapter to get something out to you guys. Being in college SUCKS but we must prevail or whatever I guess. Anyway, I’ll get working on an actual canon chapter as soon as I can.

“If I have to bring this plate back to the cooks one more time because it is, quote on quote, “Too cold,” I’m actually going to quit,” I gesture to the plated steak in my hands as I put it on the metal counter for one of the cooks to take. Adrian our resident chef gives me an, “Are you serious” look and I shrug my shoulders at him.

“Hasn’t that been the 2nd time she’s sent it back,” Alastair questions me as he looks over to the blonde Karen across The Grill.

I rub a hand over my face in exhaustion, “Fourth, actually. Twenty bucks say she’s going to ask for the steak on the house,” I raise an eyebrow at my friend who smirks.

“I’ll take that action,” He reaches his hand out and we shake on it. 

I hear the ding of a bell behind me and turn to see the chef with the heated-up steak and if I weren’t pissed off as well I’d laugh at the annoyed look on his face. With a thank you, I grab the plate and walk it over to the blonde woman. I place the plate on her table and without a thank you or even an acknowledgement she pokes the steak and then huffs as she throws it back on the plate.

“It’s still cold. I want this taken off my bill,” I fight back an eye roll at her words.

“You didn’t even take a bite, Miss,” I try to reason with her and she dares to roll her eyes at me.

“I didn’t need to, to know that it’s cold. Either refund me or get the manager,” She turns around in her seat and crosses her arms like an actual child.

“Listen lady you can’t just-”

“Good evening,” Matt cuts me off from the start of my rant, “What seems to be the issue here?”

I whip around to look at Matt who shoots me a look and leans down to me, “I got this, don’t need you fighting the customers,” He jokes and I shoot him back a look as I huff and walk back to Alastair who was watching the whole interaction with a smirk.

“You owe me $20,” I hold out my hand and he huffs and pulls out a $20 bill from his black slacks. Even though he’s a bartender, he chooses to wear Versace and other designer brands to work. 

“Thank you,” I smile as I pocket the bill and shoot my friend a smile. 

We stand together and watch the dumpster fire, that is Matt trying to reason with the Karen. 

“So… what are your plans for after work,” Alastair asks me as he looks at his nails. 

“Why? Want to hang out,” I question.

“Uh…ya! But first I have to make a quick stop,” He says absentmindedly.

“That’s no problem.”

—

“Why are we at Elena’s house? You guys aren’t friends,” I question Alastair as he gets out of the driver’s side of his Porsche and comes over to open my door. 

“We could be…”

I look at my friend suspiciously and then back to the quiet house in front of us and I feel my shoulders instantly tense up.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Alastair stops moving and looks down at me wearily and shyly smiles.

“I’m going to kill you if this is a surprise party,” I threaten him and he grabs me by my shoulders and drags me up to the front door.

“Smile wide, babe.”

—

“Happy Birthday!”

I try to push a smile onto my face as I stare at my friends as they jump out from random corners of the Gilbert living room as I enter. 

Caroline, Elena, and Jenna all wear birthday hats and big smiles as they look at me. Ric stands behind Jenna with a small smile on his face and Tyler stands behind Caroline. Damon is currently scowling in the corner and surprisingly my little brother, who got back from camp 2 days ago, and Jeremy are standing next to each other looking like they just got done wrestling. 

“Are you surprised,” Caroline exclaims as she runs over to me and pulls me into her embrace. I shoot a look over to Alastair who smirks.

“Sooooo surprised.”

Caroline seems to believe me as her smile gets bigger and Elena moves around her to hug me too.

“Happy late birthday, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Lena.”

Both Jenna and Ric come over to wish me a late happy birthday, and then they lead me to sit down in the living room that is fully decorated with every kind of birthday decoration ever. From streamers, balloons, banners, and anything else sparkly Caroline could get her hands on. I find myself smiling at the fact that this must have taken some time to set up, even though I dislike my birthday and celebrating it, it’s nice to know that I have friends who would do this for me. 

“Happy birthday Y/n,” Jeremy says to me as he and my brother start arm wrestling. 

“I called her on her actual birthday and said happy birthday to her so,” Theo said absentmindedly as he focused on beating his friend. 

“Thank you, Jeremy,” I shoot a glare at my little brother who smirks back. 

“Damon aren’t you going to say something,” Elena questions the brooding vampire who raises an eyebrow as he downs the rest of his wine. 

“You’re forgetting up until yesterday she lived with me. I already celebrated her birthday before you children,” I tense up slightly as I shoot a look over to Theo who looks confused at the mention of me living with Damon.

“Ya! He did! Since I spent the summer at the Salvatore house for my tiny vacation and all,” I try to cover it up and Theo has an unsure look on his face but Jeremy starts tugging back on his arm and they go back to arm wrestling one another. Since Theo doesn’t know about anything that has happened this summer I don’t really want to drop that bomb now or anytime soon, to be honest.

—

For the next hour, we all eat snacks prepared by Jenna and Elena, and then watch Theo and Jeremy challenge each other in anything they could possibly challenge one another with and I had to stand awkwardly as everyone sang happy birthday to me. Now I’m seated in a rocking chair in the living room with everyone watching me as I open up presents. I can practically feel my hands shaking as I feel everyone’s attention on me.

The first thing I open is a small card with a cute cat on the front, inside is a slip of paper that reads, “One free assignment,” I frown in confusion but when I look up Ric is shyly smiling at me.

“I didn’t really know what to give you, I’m kind of horrible with gift giving but I thought with how hectic everything is, and with Senior year coming up, you could use that to skip out on any assignment this year I give you.”

I nod and smile at him gratefully, “Thank you, Ric, that is really nice. I’ll definitely be using that,” I whisper out the last part.

“Open mine next,” Caroline exclaims as she hands me a big garment box with a big pink bow on it. I shoot her a raised eyebrow and she just rolls her eyes, “Open it hoe!’’

I sigh and undo the pretty bow, pick up the top of the white box, and look inside to find a beautiful silk blue dress. I grab the dress and hold it up, the light satiny fabric feels like heaven in my fingers. What has me blushing though, is the rather deep neckline.

“Caroline…”

“What! You’ll look beautiful in it! It goes with your complexion!”

I look back at the dress and as much as I want to give her back, the clearly expensive dress, a bigger part of me doesn’t want to part with it. 

“Thank you Care, it’s beautiful.”

Caroline smiles to herself proudly and saunters back to stand next to Tyler who makes me frown as I watch him reach into his pocket pull out a 100-dollar bill and hand it to me.

“Tyler I’m not accepting that,” I scowl at him and he places it on the table in front of me.

“Either you take it right now or I’ll just come to your work tomorrow and tip you it,” He smirks and taps the bill, “Happy Birthday!”

I groan as Jenna rushes over to me and hands me a little gift box, I smile up at her as she looks like a child on Christmas, “You didn’t have to Jenna.”

“You shush you! Open it,” She excitedly says as she gestures to the box in my hands.

I smile and shake my head as I open the box to find a small silver bracelet with a Y/B/S gem in the center. My mouth goes slack as I look at the beautiful piece of jewelry.

“Jenna, it’s beautiful,” I say and she quickly takes it from me and unclasps the latch so she can put it on me. 

“I saw it and thought of you,” At the older woman’s words I have to swallow the lump in my throat and fight back the tears in my eyes. Choosing to focus on the cold metal that is now gracing my left wrist. 

“Thank you. I love it.”

“I guess that leaves me.”

I look up to see my best friend pull a big dark blue birthday bag out from behind the couch she was sitting on. The size of it takes me by surprise. 

“Elena…”

“Shush,” She says as she places the huge bag in my lap. I have to reach my hand in without looking to grab whatever is in it. My fingers instantly touch what I believe to be leather. I pull the thing out, push the blue bag away, and place it on the floor. When I look back at the leather thing in my lap I realize it’s a messenger bag. A rather expensive messenger bag by the look of the dark brown leather and the silver clasps.

“It even has your initials,” Elena says shyly as she points to the engraving on the corner of the bag. My smile slightly drops when I see, Y/f/n Y/m/n Y/l/n. Mostly because of the last name part. 

“You don’t like it… I knew it was too much. I should’ve gotten you the books I picked out,” Elena mumbles to herself and I’m quick to stop her.

“No! No, I love it. Truly Elena, thank you so much. I’m going to use it for school,” I smile up to her and I’m happy to see the dimples making their way back onto my friend's face as she smiles back at me. 

“Thank you all so much. This is really too much and I can’t thank you enough.”

They all say things like how I deserve it or don’t worry about it and such. Except Damon who hasn’t moved from his spot. 

“Wait,” Caroline whips around to Alastair, “What did you get her?”

Alastair smirks and then glances at the clothes I’m wearing, “Theo let me into her room earlier. I dropped my presents off there.”

I scowl at my little brother who is fighting back a laugh.

“The bag is also from me,” Jeremy says and Elena shoves him and tells him to shut it. 

— 

The night goes on with playing games and talking until one by one everyone files out of the Gilbert house. I make sure to thank Elena, Jenna, and Ric for everything as Alastair leads me outside to his car. Theo opted out of the ride home and decided to spend the night and play video games with Jeremy since they hadn’t gotten to all summer. 

After waving goodbye, Alastair pulls out of the driveway and starts driving me home.

“So what is it,” I ask him as I play with the bracelet on my wrist.

“What is what,” He asks but from his tone I know he’s messing with me.

“Don’t be a dick. You know what. My present from you. What is it?”

Alastair smirks to himself and just shrugs as he continues winding down the dark streets. It’s not long before we’re pulling up to my dark unlit house. Making me assume my mother’s not home. Thankfully. She hasn’t been around at all these past two days since I moved back. I didn’t even want to but with Theo moving back I didn’t want him asking too many questions on why I wasn’t living at home anymore.

Alastair gets out of the car walks over to my side opens my door and helps me out. We grab all the bags with my presents and then we walk to the front door.

“Thanks for tonight…I guess. It wasn’t that horrible.”

Alastair smirks at my comment and squeezes my upper arm, “Happy late birthday babe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I open my front door and hear Alastair walk to his car. I haven’t even fully shut my door before I hear him peeling out of my driveway.

I sigh to myself as I turn on my hallway light and try to carry my bags to my room. I kick open my door and stop when I see the horde of shopping bags that are sitting on my bed. Various designer brands sit on my bed and I can’t fight the way my jaw completely drops as I rummage through just a fraction of some of them. There has to be at least 10,000 dollars worth of designer purses, shoes, and clothes here. 

If Alastair can afford this then why the actual fuck is he working a entry-level bartending job?!?!?

I’m about to pull out my phone and bitch my friend out when I hear my doorbell ring. 

“Alastair if that’s you, you have a lot of explaining to do,” I yell as I walk down the hall and fling open the front door and yet I’m met with nothing. 

I’m about to close my door because this reminds me of every horror movie ever but when I look down a small box catches my eye. I peek out my door careful not the pass the threshold but there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. I cautiously lean down pick up the small black box and look at the tiny tag on the top. The only thing written on it is my name which pulls a frown on my lips. 

I quickly grab the box, shut the door, lock it, and slightly run to my room. As soon as I get to my room I eye the box in my hands momentarily before slowly opening it as if inside there was a bomb or some shit. I freeze when I see what’s inside though. A wolf. 

A small wolf pendant on a silver chain sits in the box. As creepy as this whole thing is I have to admit, the necklace is beautiful. The little wolf appears to be mid-howl and at closer inspection the eye of the wolf I think is some kind of gem. My fingers caress the wolf debating on what to do and after a moment I throw it onto my desk. 

I turn around to go organize the mess that is all these bags, but I feel an itch in my spine and I groan as I turn back to the necklace and roughly pick it up unclasp the chain, and put it on around my neck. As soon as I do a sense of familiarity and comfort almost seems to wash over me. I walk over to my bathroom mirror and look at the wolf in the mirror. And for a split second, I could’ve sworn its gemmed eye glowed.

[urf1lterr]

moonlight | m.yg [1]

next chapter: soon

summary: when it’s finally the week of your big sister's wedding, you’re more than excited for it to be over as responsibilities come flying your way. however, you can’t seem to stop thinking about a particular groomsman with blonde hair.

pairing: groomsman!yoongi x bridesmaid!y/n

genre: wedding!au, strangers to lovers au | awkward, fluff, angst, mature

word count: 7.4k

status: in progress

author’s note: reposting this bc i miss him. i’ve been wanting to do this for sooooo long but never had time- still don’t but oops.

Sleep is what you really needed right now, especially when you already lacked it in your daily life. But no, that wasn’t really an option right now, not when you had to wait for your sister to pick you up from the airport and get dinner afterwards. 

Realistically, you could’ve slept on the plane ride here, but you hated the seat you were in. At first, you sat in the aisle seat because it was always the fastest way to exit afterwards, but you had to give that up when a man probably in his late 50s basically ordered you to move to the middle because older people need "more" room. 

You weren’t happy, but you weren’t about to argue because of this.

All you wanted to do right now was go to your old bedroom and change into some comfy sweats and an oversized t-shirt before pulling your blankets over your head to sleep in peace. You knew it was not going to happen any time soon, but a girl can wish. 

As you finally saw your suitcases at the baggage claim area, you grabbed one, almost falling by how large and heavy it was. You cursed at yourself for overpacking, but you were staying in town for two weeks and could not risk the chance of not having enough clothes. Luckily, your other suitcase was fairly smaller.

Walking to the other side of the terminal, you saw the exit to the pick up area, immediately moving your legs faster because you couldn’t wait to get out of here. There were too many people walking slow, it surprised you how calm you’ve lasted.

Once you reached a bench in front of the area, you noticed that the weather was not that great. It was raining, which you loved- but your sister planned most of her events outside so this is probably going to make her cry for hours.

And you really don't wanna be the shoulder she cries on- she is very dramatic when she sobs.

Pulling out your phone, you noticed you received three texts. One from your sister, mom, and boss. 

[mom] 5:57pm: were you able to land safely? don’t look tired and try not to be introverted, namjoon’s mother is joining us for dinner. put on some makeup, love you!

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. You weren’t surprised in the slightest, you knew how your mother was. She didn’t mean any harm, but she loves to impress others. By looking a bit tidy, she thinks people wouldn’t think lowly of us. However, she fails to understand that we’ve known your future brother-in-law’s family for almost six years now, you don’t believe they will call off the wedding by seeing their future daughter-in-law’s little sister bare faced. 

Plus, his mother is the sweetest. If anything, she always told you how much she loved seeing natural faces compared to the overdose of products people nowadays use in which she refers to “tiktok trends.” 

[jae] 6:01pm: the office is going to miss you! tell ur sister congrats again, and then do it again for me once she’s actually married lol. don’t you dare ask if there’s work for you to do it in the next two weeks! 

Laughing to yourself, you quickly replied with a small “thank you, i will tell her,” along with a “darn, now i cant use work as an excuse to get out of wedding duties. but if there is work needed to be done just text me.”

[violet] 6:13pm: almost there!! look out for a black suv. hope u don’t need to go home, kinda planning to go straight to dinner bc our reservation is at 7 and joonie doesn’t want to be late! he’s scared they’ll judge us, see you soon &lt;3

Of course he would think that, coming from the man who thinks texting and walking is rude- it's debatable!

That’s when you looked at the time, noticing that it was exactly 6:20pm. There was still time to make it by 7, you were sure of it.

As you were about to reply to your mom and sister, you heard the sound of tires screeching with constant honks. You looked up, noticing a very expensive-looking suv pulled near the curb, still beeping.

Was this your sister? I mean, it was black like she stated it would be.

Your question was finally answered when you noticed the passenger window being rolled down, revealing two young looking men with bright smiles eagerly waving, the driver still beeping with his other hand causing many people around to glare as they walked by.

You noticed the man with very shaggy hair, wearing what seems to be a white t-shirt, black slacks, and sneakers as he opened the door. “What’s up, y/n,” he smiled, making his way towards you.

“Taehyung? What are you doing here? I thought Violet was going to pick me up- is she in the backseat?” You questioned as he automatically went to grab your bags. “And what is this moron doing here? I thought he got his license taken away last month?”

Looking back to the SUV, you saw your cousin in the driver’s seat with what seems to be him fighting off a man with a bright yellow and green vest knocking violently on his window side. 

“You cannot park here, you’re holding up traffic!” the man yelled, causing your cousin to roll his eyes before rolling down the window maybe two inches before yelling back.

“You’re the one holding up traffic standing in the middle of the road!”

“Don’t make me call security! Park in the parking lot!” The man dragged on, hitting the side of the car repeatedly and motioning his arms to drive away at the same time. 

"Aren't you security?!" Your cousin honked before glaring at the man. “And you scratch my car, you pay for it!”

You stopped watching their little altercation as Taehyung began rolling your suitcases towards the trunk of the car, making you follow along. “She wasn’t able to come, apparently she had to go pick up some materials she ordered for the centerpieces,” he stated, setting the bags inside before closing the trunk. “And I am not sure why he is driving, I think everybody forgot he shouldn’t be and I am too lazy to do it, I was not able to take my nap today because Namjoon made me paint the photo booth all morning- it was exhausting.” 

Opening the passenger door for you, you quickly jumped in as he shut it before jumping into the seat behind you. Turning to your left, you could still see your cousin arguing with the man before Taehyung told him to drive already.

“No! I hope you have a shitty day, you asshole!” Your cousin screamed before speeding away down the street. After literally two seconds, he looked your way while smiling brightly. “I missed you!”

Giving him a dirty glance, you slap his arm. “Ow! What was that for?” He whined, rubbing his arm with his free hand.

“Jungkook, why the fuck are you driving?” you declared. “You’re not allowed”

“Says who,” he rolled his eyes.

“The state,” Taehyung says from the backseat.

Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head. “They can’t do anything, I pay my taxes.”

Groaning, you rub your forehead. “This has nothing to do with your taxes, you imbecile.”

He gives you a confused look for a quick moment before moving his eyes back on the road again. “You don’t need to use big words to attack me, y/n. This isn’t law school.”

You heard Taehyung sighing at how annoying his friend was being. To clear things up, Taehyung was actually a close friend of your side of the family through Jungkook, the two of them being inseparable since kindergarten. 

You just so happened to know him well since he always followed Jungkook everywhere he went, same vice versa, as you saw your cousin basically everyday due to only being one year apart and both your mom’s being sisters. But with Taehyung, you happened to be the same age, same with their other friend in their trilogy, Jimin. In which you were surprised he wasn’t here because Jimin loved going to dinner with them. 

“Why are you driving?”

“I got my license back,” he smiled, nodding heavily when he saw the questionable facial expression you were making. “I swear! I went to the DMV and everything. I got it back after paying like $3,000.”

Choking on your saliva after hearing how much he had to pay, you gasped, “Why so much? What exactly did you do?!”

Jungkook awkwardly moved both his hands on the steering wheel, obviously not wanting to answer your question as you heard his friend chuckling in the backseat. “Yeah, tell her Jungkook, what did you do?”

Throwing a small box of tissues he had left near the middle cup holder to Taehyung, Jungkook began his excuse. “I’m not really sure, apparently it’s illegal to drive through rain puddles,” he shrugged.

You shifted your head a bit, “that’s not illegal.”

“It is when you purposely speed through them to get people wet,” Taehyung giggled as Jungkook groaned in annoyance.

“Dude! You weren’t supposed to tell her that part!” Jungkook whined.

“That is so rude,” you pinched his arm as he tried moving away from you, knowing your first reaction to things were mostly violence. “How would you like it if someone did that to you?”

“I actually wouldn’t mind it,” he stated. “Saves me money from going to a waterpark.”

Sometimes, you wondered what goes on in that big head of your cousin. Not much common sense, that’s for sure.

“Anywho,” you spoke up, trying to change the dumb conversation you just had. “What’s the plan for tonight? I heard something about a dinner, but other than that I have idea what’s going on. No one told me anything.”

Jungkook shrugged, glancing at you a few times as he answered your question. “I know we have dinner with some of Namjoon’s friends, his mom, your parents, and then you sister’s friends. But afterwards, no clue.”

“Why are you and Taehyung going then?” 

He scoffed, looking offended. “I’ll have you know, we are very much indeed Namjoon’s friends,” he proudly said before giving in once he saw how that did nothing. Maybe acquaintances but definitely not friends. “All the groomsmen were invited.”

Ah yes, you almost forgot Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin were appointed groomsmen which was a big shock considering they were not close to Namjoon like that. 

But to be completely honest, your sister did have six bridesmaids while Namjoon only had three real groomsmen he wanted. So, she was able to convince Namjoon to allow the other three to take apart on their special day because they were basically like family.

And because he had no one else to call.

Although, it didn’t take much convincing, Namjoon did love the guys and they all bonded really well whenever they did interact.

“So, Jimin’s going?”

“He should be,” you heard Taehyung answer. “He couldn’t come with us to pick you up because he had to drop his little brother off at baseball practice- but I think their mom is going to pick him up once he’s done.”

You nodded, understanding the situation. To be honest, you were happy the three of them were going. It’s not like you wouldn’t know anyone tonight, maybe only a couple people, but the rest of your family never knew how to make you feel comfortable the same way the boys did.

Maybe its because you basically grew up with them and how you were all close in age, but you felt more open and less forced to act a certain way when they were by your side. 

Throughout the car ride, you had to constantly bicker with Jungkook about slowing down and to avoid potholes as it kept getting in the way of you applying concealer and powder from your seat. You especially yelled when he almost made you smash your mascara wand in your eye, causing Taehyung to hide his laughter as he scrolled through twitter. 

Finally, after small loads of traffic and listening to Jungkook’s ‘go crazy, go stupid’ playlist in which consisted of old Taylor Swift and Hannah Montana songs, you made it to the restaurant. The problem was, the rain was hectic. You’re surprised Jungkook didn’t crash into a pole trying to see through his windshield wipers.

Once you parked, Jungkook sheepishly smiled. “Okay so we have a small problem- nothing serious,” he stated as you gave him a look for him to continue. “We don’t have an umbrella.”

“What-” you and Taehyung said at the same time. “I can’t show up in there all wet, it’s pouring outside!”

“-and I can’t risk getting my shirt wet, I didn’t bring a sweatshirt and I am wearing a white top- my chest will be see through if it gets wet!” Taehyung cried out. “I don’t want people violating me.”

“Calm down, drama queens,” Your cousin rolled his eyes. “Y/n, cover your face with your arms to protect your makeup- that’s the only thing you should save. Taehyung, wrap your arms over your chest, don’t you dare lift them until we are sheltered. We got this guys!”

You scoffed as he cheered you both on. At least you all will be drenched together, you thought. 

Getting ready to jump out of the car, you looked down at your outfit. You were wearing an oversized dark brown crewneck sweater, black thick leggings, and your white platform sneakers. At least you were kind of warm and didn’t have much to damage from the rain. 

Looking back at how far the restaurant was from your parking spot, you three basically had to run the side of the building to get to the front. It wouldn’t have been a problem if it was regularly raining- but as it was lashing down with some now background sounds of thunder and lightening, you knew this was going to be a bad idea. 

Jungkook gave you two a confident nod before aiming towards his door as Taehyung and you gave each other a worried look, eventually doing the same. “On the count of 3!” Jungkook yelled from his side. 

Once we were all ready, hands on the door handle, you heard Taehyung start, “1-”

“-3!” Jungkook screamed and ran out the door, hearing the door lock as he ran his distance. 

Taehyung and you looked at each other in shock before chasing after him. As you took more and more steps, you could tell that this rainstorm was probably one of the worst you have ever encountered.

But to be fair, you should have checked the forecast and remembered to bring your own umbrella. 

After what seemed like minutes, the three of you finally made it to the front of the building in which you were blessed with a roof for your protection. At this moment, you have never been happier. 

Moving your eyes to the two boys standing near you, you noticed how even though Tae’s hair was swamped, he managed to barely get his chest wet. Jungkook’s hair began curling up on the sides, but only that and his shoulders were fairly drenched. 

You tried straightening out your sweater while looking up at Taehyung. “Do I look alright?”

“Yeah, you totally don’t look like you just ran through the rain.” he nodded, even though you could feel your hair soaked. 

“Your makeup still looks intact,” Jungkook added, “but your hair- eh.”

You glared at him as he lifted his hands up in defense. He shouldn’t be talking, his hair was soaked too.

Trying to make yourselves look presentable, you didn’t notice someone rushing near you three, only when you felt a pair of arms wrapping behind you, causing you to squeal.

Moving your head to see the owner of the arms, you immediately hugged them back. “Jimin!”

“Y/n!” he giggled, but suddenly pulled away. “Ew, you’re drenched.” Nodding towards Jungkook, he quickly understood what happened. “Why didn’t you just tell me you guys were here? Jungkook, I texted you that I had an umbrella if you needed one.”

Taehyung and you turned to glare at Jungkook as he turned red and stammered, "I’m sorry, I-I didn’t see the message!”

"Hold on, man. Didn't you just dropped off your brother? It's pouring," Taehyung.

Jimin shrugged, "Do you think the MLB teams stop their games over some rain."

"In some cases, yes."

“Y/n! You’re here!” you heard that familiar voice squeal behind you, followed by a pair of arms once again hugging you. “I would totally not touch you, but I haven’t seen you in three months!”

Smiling, you held your annoying sister until you heard a cough. You let go to see your parents standing near her, your mom pushing her to the side, making your sister almost fall to the ground, before wrapping her arms around you. “Y/n! How was your flight? You never replied to my text, young lady,” she crossed her arms. Oh, how you love when your mother’s mood changes constantly.

She suddenly touched your face lightly, “Your face looks lovely! You’re hair though- uh its alright! The rain is our excuse!” she beamed.

Same old mother, but at least you knew she did not want you to take things seriously. 

You felt your dad lightly wrap an arm around you, giving you a short greeting, probably not wanting to hold up our reservation as well but not because he didn’t want to be rude, he wanted to eat already. 

Noticing no one else was outside, you sister began speaking. “Namjoon, his friends, and mom are inside sitting at the table already. I told them not to wait up on us so we don’t cause much of a disturbance inside.”

Nodding, she then began guiding everyone inside with your parents following directly behind her while Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook walked right along with you. It was a short walk inside, but you noticed that the table must have been all the way in the back, maybe in another room by how far in you all were going.

Being right, you could see that they reserved a private room which was extremely crazy- this must’ve been so expensive for a casual dinner! 

The first person you noticed was your future brother-in-law sitting at the middle of the wide circular table, a seat empty right beside him for your sister you assumed. You identified his mother pretty clearly as she sat on the other side of him.

Your parents quickly sat on the seats right next to where your sister just sat. You moved your eyes to see most of the bridesmaids, who you knew for the longest as they all either went to school or worked with her, sitting right near you parents and across from them. 

There was only one seat next to the last bridesmaid that was opened, so you assumed it was for you as it was across from your sister’s seat. Looking at the boys, you frowned, realizing you would be separated as they only had empty seats on the other side of the table where Namjoon’s mom sat. At least you could look at them from across the table.

Jimin fake pouted before they all walked to the available seats. You finally noticed the three other boys sitting beside them, only recognizing one of them, Hoseok. You were happy to be seated right next to him as you two have met many times in the past, but you couldn’t help but wonder who the other two were and why you weren’t introduced to them earlier. 

Hoseok was actually a close friend of both Namjoon and your sister, in fact, he was the one who introduced them many years ago. He was probably one of the few close male friends your sister even had who she trusted with all her heart who didn’t want to sleep with her.

You also befriended him as he was the only one who wouldn’t complain but encouraged you to hang out with them during their high school days when your sister pulled the ‘hormonal teenager who hates everybody’ phase.

“Nice to see you, y/n. Thanks for coming, I know you must be exhausted from your flight, but it means a lot that you were able to make it,” Namjoon kindly greeted you, in which you smiled in return.

“It’s okay,” you shyly reply, feeling your nerves kick in because you suck at public speaking, even when it’s with people you’ve already met. 

“Now she’s shy,” you heard your cousin stifle in a low laugh before Jimin kicked his leg, in which he groaned in pain, trying not to make any noise as he clutched his knee. 

As you gave Jungkook a dirty look, you began turning, quickly taking a look at the guests you didn’t know. One seemed to look slightly tall, or you assumed he was by how long his torso was. He was very good looking, just not your type.

But the other one was already looking at you, his eyes quickly moving away when he realized he was caught, not seeming to care though. He had very beautiful eyes and bright blonde hair, but he looked very intimidating with his blank- almost cold expression. 

“You look dashing, y/n!” You heard Namjoon’s mom exclaim, making you turn extremely red. God, you hated when people gave you compliments, especially when others were around. You did not like the attention it brought.

“Thank you” you looked down, trying your best to make your face cool down. You wish you were in the rain right now.

“I take full responsibility for her hair not looking the best,” Jungkook spoke up, making you immediately cover your face with your hands, praying he stop talking. “I forgot the umbrella.”

You heard him groan again, maybe from one of the boys kicking him for his irrelevant comments.

“I know the struggle,” You heard one of the unknown guests Namjoon had, the one who looked tall, begin. “I tripped while trying to walk in and landed on a puddle.” This caused you to giggle, happy that he was willing to embarrass himself to deflect the attention off you. “But it’s alright, luckily I had extra pants in my car.”

“Now that you mentioned that uh- fascinating information,” Namjoon awkwardly started. “Y/n, I realized you never met my other groomsmen-”

“Groomsmen? How dare you” You heard the same friend fake gasp, causing Hoseok to groan right beside you. “I am the one and only best man” 

“So, that’s Jin,” Hoseok finally spoke up, rolling his eyes at his friend who you realized probably loved the attention more than you actually knew.

“Oh, hi” you shyly waved as he gave you a cheesy smile. 

“Sorry about him, he’s a little over the top,” Namjoon sweetly mentioned to you, causing Jin to scoff.��“-but in a good way!”

Just by observing their attitude towards each other, you can tell Jin was the friend who made Namjoon be more confident and open-minded enough to try new things. He seemed like the hype man of the group.

“And that’s Yoongi,” Hoseok added, pointing to the man on the left of him, the one who looked like he did not want to talk to anybody. You began to realize this Yoongi guy was more reserved than the rest, giving you a small nod as you awkwardly looked away.

“Sorry about him, he seems quiet- but he does talk! Quite a lot actually,” Jin added, causing Yoongi to nudge him. 

“Same with this one,” Violet giggled, looking your way causing you to glare at her. Way to put the spotlight on you. 

Luckily for you, your mother just knew so many topics to talk about that she carried a conversation fairly quickly right after your sister’s comment. 

You would have listened to it all the way, but to be honest, you were mentally exhausted. Work had you up till 10pm last night and with it being such a jammed pack month already, you completely forgot to pack until this morning. Having to check in two bags, you had to arrive at the airport three hours early to make it in time to depart from all the long lines. 

You don’t think anyone beside your dad and Namjoon’s mom were listening to your mom because as you looked around the table, you realized people were either making faces at their friends or just looking anywhere else but the speaker. 

That’s when you noticed Taehyung making a silly face your way, causing you to smile at him. But when you did so, you saw from the corner of your eye the restrained individual placing his eyes on you that didn’t leave until he was about to be caught again.

Yeah, you wished this dinner would be over soon.

-

"That was probably one of the best steaks I have ever digested," Namjoon smiled while wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Did he just say 'digested'?" you heard one of your sister's friend, Mina you believe, whisper to her other friend, Hani, who just shrugged.

After about an hour of awkward conversations that consisted of when Violet and Namjoon would be making babies and who would take custody if they both randomly die, dinner was finally over.

To be honest, you were glad that you were mostly not chosen to speak. That was until your mother thought it would be a brilliant idea to bring up your personality compared to your sisters, in which she made sure to mention the one time in 4th grade when you threw a tantrum and bursted into tears because you didn't want her to leave you alone on the first day of school.

Violet made sure to clarify how immature you were as a fourth grader, in which you thought if it would really be bad punching her in the face right then and there. You were sure makeup could cover the bruises.

"I should probably get going, I think your father is getting off soon from work," you heard Namjoon's mom say, slowly standing up before giving her son a warm hug.

Following the signs, everyone began standing up, getting ready to say their goodbyes. That was until your sister suddenly spoke up, becoming an announcer.

"Wait I forgot to mention, tomorrow is day 1 out of 7!" she cheered as her fiancee placed an arm on her lower back. "Don't forget to bring your shoes!"

"What's tomorrow?" You thought, but apparently out loud as everyone glanced your way, causing you to look back at Violet.

"You don't know?!" she gasped, looking back towards your mom. "Did you not tell her?" Watching as your mother softly gave her a small smile, your sister's eyes made their way back to you in disbelief. "It's our first dance rehearsal."

"Dance rehearsal?" You squinted your eyes, not believing how in the world she planned to make people learn a dance in under a week. "You do understand your wedding is in 6 days right after tomorrow, right?"

"We couldn't plan practices earlier because you and Jin don't live near here and we didn't want you both going out of your way to get here for it," Namjoon commented. "That would've been too expensive."

Realization hit you, you have to dance...in front of people.

Looking up, you tried showing a relaxed expression, but you're sure you only pulled out an uncomfortable one at the thought of having to publicly dance when you are in fact the worse dancer ever.

Truth be told, you wish you can easily agree and go with the flow, but knowing yourself the best you know you cannot pull this off. There is a reason why you dropped dance class in high school and it was because you kept making your partner's toes bleed from stepping on them so much.

But before you could speak up, or as if you were going to, your sister beat you to it. "You're doing it, no exceptions," she pointed a finger at you.

"You can be my partner!" Jimin exclaimed, wrapping an arm over your shoulder, trying to cheer you up. "I'm a great dancer."

"I beg to differ," Taehyung crossed his arms. "Have you seen these hips? Been shaking them since I was eight years-old."

"Just Dance doesn't count," Jimin hissed, making Tae scoff.

"It does when you're undefeated!"

Before the two of them could continue their bickering, your sister intervened. "None of you are dancing with her, I've already assigned partners," and right when they were going to ask who she added, "and you're not finding out until tomorrow. I don't want you trying to ask us to privately change your partners tonight so deal with it."

That definitely made them shut up before she carried on saying farewell to everybody.

You being you, you stood there stiff as everyone hugged each other. Never knowing how to really say 'bye', you often just waved. It was your thing.

You felt large arms wrap around you, causing you to gasp for air from the tight hold. "It was so nice meeting you, y/n!" You heard Jin burst out before pulling away. "Hoping we end up as partners, you seem so chill."

Certain that that was not going to happen, you sheepishly nodded. Not that you did not want him as a partner, to be fair, you probably would have chosen him as one of your top choices if it were up to you only because he seemed friendly and welcoming.

However, he was the best man.

Everybody knows the best man always gets paired with the maid of the honor, in which you believe was Naile.

Once he moved passed you to say his goodbyes with your parents, you noticed Yoongi finishing his farewells with Namjoon's mom before turning in your direction.

Shifting your eyes somewhere else in the room, you felt a weird feeling in your stomach.

For some reason, interacting with someone else who is also quiet but now intimidating made you extra nervous, fearful they might randomly lash out on you.

Just before Yoongi could at least give you a small nod, like he had done earlier, Namjoon announced that we should all be on our ways as the restaurant probably wanted us gone by now.

Running up to Jimin, you followed your friends and cousin out the door. Not noticing the pair of eyes following your every move up until you were out of sight.

Finally, now you can go home and sleep.

-

Waking up this morning was hard for you, especially when you knew how stressful it was going to be.

Maybe it was because you knew what was to come but didn't at the same time. It was safe to say you were panicking the whole drive to the small park your sister booked for the morning.

However, your sister was nothing close to nervous, in fact, she was beaming in joy throughout the car ride, constantly telling you she was excited to be a day closer to her wedding.

"Don't freak out too much about practice, okay?" Violet began as she parked the car. "None of them have experience dancing, except Hobi and maybe like Jimin and whatever Tae thinks is dancing, but other than that we all suck."

"Thanks for the pep talk, I feel so much better," you sarcastically declare before opening the door and getting out.

"I'm serious! I know you well enough to see how anxious you are about this," she argued. "But I made sure to pick an easy dance we all can learn within a few days"

You only sighed. There was nothing you could really do at this point so there was not much convincing she was doing to make you feel better. Plus, it's her day. You kind of have to do whatever she wants whether you like it or not.

Following her to a medium-sized building, you noticed how nice this park really was. There was a huge duck pond on one side with a beautiful garden all around.

Where does she find these places?

As you two opened the doors, she led you down a hallway until you were walking into a pretty large banquet room. You saw mostly everyone was here, besides Jin and Namjoon, but other than that everyone was here.

"Where's my man?" Your sister questioned, setting her bag on one of the side tables as you closely followed behind her.

"Trying to figure out where he put his dancing shoes," Hoseok stated, lying back on the chair he was sitting in. "Hi, y/n."

You softly waved, seeing that Taehyung and Yoongi were sitting right next to him. Tae was too busy playing some game on his phone to notice your presence as Yoongi just gave you a brief glimpse before going on his phone as well.

"What took you forever to get here?" Jungkook asked, pulling up a seat right next to you on one of the empty tables you sat in. You felt Jimin sit next to him, waiting for your answer.

"Violet couldn't leave the house without shaving her face," you whispered, hoping she didn't hear that or else she would come up with something 10x worse to joke about you.

"I did notice something was different about her," Jimin joked, making you all laugh.

After talking for some time as your sister kept trying to call her fiancee, you heard the slam of a door with the sounds of footsteps nearing.

It appeared that Namjoon probably found his shoes with the help of Jin as they both ran in together, breathing a little heavy as your sister put her hand on her hip.

"Ready," he smiled, trying not to provoke your sister anymore.

Knowing your sister, she was probably going to hire some dance teacher to teach you guys proper techniques. What you did not know was that this instructor was going to make you freestyle your own ending steps with your partners.

Or at least that's what the instructor mentioned after they showed up fifteen minutes late due to "traffic."

But now that they have said it, no one knew who their partners were.

"Time for the moment everyone's been waiting for," your sister stomped her feet and motioned everyone to come near her. Once we did so, she asked, "who wants to know first?"

Jungkook raised his hand quickly. "Me!"

"I think we should make this a little fun," Violet smirked. "Let's write the pair's names on paper, randomly mix them in a bowl and then draw."

Namjoon nodded, not really caring too much about how this was going to be done. He just wanted to begin lessons, already knowing that he wasn't quite the best when it came to body movements only for the world to see.

You were despising every second of this. As the clock kept on ticking, you kept thinking about who your partner would be.

It's not like anyone here was truly horrible- or so you thought.

Plus, you had a high chance of getting the three boys you loved to death. However, your sister did say Jimin and Taehyung were out of the picture, so your only hope was your cousin.

But in your opinion, you weren't familiar with Namjoon's friends. Jin seemed like a sweetheart, but maybe the close proximity of dancing with someone who was practically a stranger was getting in your head.

The main person you were worried about was Yoongi.

It's not like you completely disliked him, you never dislike anyone unless you had a reason to. It was that you didn't know him.

You didn't know Jin either, but the difference was Jin made an effort to communicate to others. Yoongi just sits there with a blank expression, making you question if he is judging or ignoring you.

It's quite intimidating, really.

And with you being extremely quiet too, well... two quiet people don't really work well- or in a situation where both have to actively dance.

"Jimin and Leia!" you heard Namjoon announce.

Damn.

"Sorry, y/n," Jimin mouthed, making you swat your hand in reassurance that you were fine. I guess he's known you for so long to understand how frightening this was for you.

But you're a big girl, you'll get through this.

"Taehyung and Yuna!" Your sister roared.

Okay, maybe not.

Finally, after Hoseok and Jin were called, your nerves were getting to you. Now was not the time to overthink, whatever happens- happens.

Jungkook wasn't making this easier as he kept waving his arms around, mouthing the words "we're definitely partners." And for a split second, you began to believe him.

Well, that was until-

"Y/n and Yoongi," Namjoon called out, making your face fall. Violet began clapping her hands while her fiancee proudly smiled.

Feeling your face turn red, you continue staring at Namjoon as he slowly tilted his head to the side for you to go to your new partner, in which you responded with continuing on your stare.

It felt like hours before you felt someone's presence beside you, causing Namjoon to fix his attention back to announcing who's Jungkook's partner was going to be.

Moving your head slightly to the right, you could make out the bright blonde hair immediately. Yoongi was sitting next to you, oh my-

"I guess we're uh- partners?" he lightly squinted his eyes before looking directly at your own.

You felt weak at the knees by this eye contact, how are you going to make it through the week?

"R-right," you began, mentally screaming at yourself for stuttering "I mean right! Yeah, how uhm..cool?"

"Not really," he sighed, making your eyes widen. Was he really not that happy by this decision? "I don't dance much"

Relief hit you by his answer, okay maybe he doesn't hate you. "Don't worry, I'm on the same boat."

"Namjoon knows I don't do any of this," Yoongi cringed to himself. Does he mean dancing? "I'm sure your sister knows you aren't great either, they should have just partnered us up with someone who wasn't going to make us look humiliating."

Ouch, that stung.

You shut your mouth, not sure what to reply. You understood his point, but at the same time you didn't. It was beginning to become clear now that maybe he wasn't happy with this setup.

"Are we ready to begin?" you heard the instructor exclaim, causing you to look past Yoongi in which you were grateful this small conversation would have to be cut. "Please come forward and spread out, only your partners should be near you!"

Rubbing your fingers, you slowly followed after Yoongi who took the lead towards the middle of the spaced out "dance floor," or the only area in this room that did not have folding tables. The two of you ended up on the side while the others placed themselves throughout the middle and front of the teacher.

After listening to him ramble on about the needed chemistry between partners and showing how our hands must be placed on his practice dummy, who was Namjoon- which Violet did not like, it was time for everyone else to follow.

"Remember, the men are the leads! Take your lady's hand with your left and place your right on her hip! I want to feel the sexual tension from here!"

"Or a comfortable tension," Namjoon interfered.

Looking up at Yoongi, you saw him dully take his left hand out to grab your right one. By his lack of emotion, it triggered you to malfunction and embarrass the hell out of yourself.

He could feel how stiff your body was once he grabbed your hand, beginning to place his right hand behind on your mid back.

"Closer!" the instructor popped out of nowhere, causing you to flinch and almost trip over Yoongi's shoes. Yes, you just stepped on his shoes- he probably hates you now. "Hand on hip! You'll get the rhythm faster."

"No thanks, I'd rather not," Yoongi plainly stated, but was pushed inches away from your face when the instructor pushed you both forward.

You tried your best to look anywhere then at him, but it was incredibly hard. You did catch him throwing out a few glances a few times, but he would always divert his attention somewhere else when he noticed how uncomfortable you reacted to it.

"Do y-you think we should do what they are doing?" You asked, referring to steps that were just given to follow. Everybody else were figuring out the new footwork, but your partner just stood there as if he wanted to die already.

He simply just ignored you, only looking at what Jungkook and his partner were doing. In which, your cousin was swinging the poor girl around while she tried to slow him down in fear.

God, you wish this was over already.

-

"So...how did you like it?!" Violet questioned, sitting down on the bed in your old bedroom while you hid under the blankets. "It was fun, huh?"

"You call that fun?" You groaned, sitting up. "I want a new partner."

"What? No way! Yoongi will be hurt you wanted to switch."

"How if he was the one who questioned why we weren't switched in the first place?"

Violet gasped, "He said that?"

Nodding, you wiped some hair away from your face. "He also refused to put his hand on my hip. Is my body too gross for him or what?"

It did hurt your feelings he wouldn't listen to the basic suggestions, but if he didn't want to then there was nothing you could do.

"Maybe it was a respect thing- like to make sure he wasn't crossing any boundaries?"

Thinking about it for a second, she could be right.

"We just don't mix well, he would just ignore me any time I asked questions or spoke up," You sighed. "Please change my partner-"

"-I can't, we already began rehearsals," She cut you off.

"But we only learned basic steps! I can dance with a whole other human being and get it down with them! Please, please-"

"-no-"

"I can tell he despises every minute of this," You whine. "He's not into it and I'm just holding him back! You already know how scary this is to throw myself out there for this dance, at least let me be with someone who seems comfortable with me. It'll make me less anxious."

Your sister gave you a look, taking her time to think hard about this. She wanted you to feel fully comfortable, but it would be so unfair to switch partners the next day after announcing them.

"You know I want you to feel at your best, but the decision has been made and I-"

"If you let me switch I'll clean your room for a year," You rambled.

She rolled her eyes, "nice try, you don't even live nearby!"

"I'll send you money to buy your favorite meals twice a month!"

Violet gave you a stern look. "Y/n, no means no. I-"

"I'll say a speech at your wedding!"

That made her shut up.

This shocked you too because you avoided this topic from the start when she told you she was engaged. You hated talking, better yet- talking in front of people? No way, impossible to do!

"You would never, you can't even order your food without stuttering."

She didn't have to come at you like that..

"I promise!" you begged, jumping in front of her as she rolled her eyes.

Hearing her sigh, you felt weight being lifted off your shoulder. "Fine! You can have Hoseok, he's a quick learner anyway."

Almost making your sister fall off the bed as you tackled her in a hug, you cheered. "Thank you! Thank you! Tha-"

"Shut up already," she scrunched her face, pushing you off harshly. "I'm only doing this because you seem to feel really uncomfortable being near him and my sister instincts are going off."

You nodded quickly, trying to be on your best behavior so she doesn't change her mind.

"It kind of sucks though," she shrugged. "Namjoon and I thought you would be the perfect fit, you two are so alike"

"Being antisocial doesn't automatically mean we'll hit it off."

"Sorry, wouldn't know what that's like," she smiled and stood up from your bed. "I'm gonna go check on mom and the centerpieces, you should text Hobi a heads up for this week."

Once she left the room, you pulled out your phone to text him. You hope you weren't being a total bitch for doing this, but you doubt Yoongi would get offended.

He was the one who suggested it.

[1for5]

yes im changing

paige bueckers x reader

(paige x uconn psychology student!reader)

masterlist

synopsis: with y/n being in a new environment, still facing rejection, how can she bounce back?

chapter 3

oh no it is. aubrey’s new roommate is the girl paige.. you know..

“oh hey” y/n said awkwardly. “hi! im aubrey, im sorry about earlier..” aubrey replied and apologized. “oh no it’s okay, i just got hurt and im already so tired from today” y/n gave her a comforting smile.

after about an hour, getting unready, aubrey and y/n meet again in the living room. both of them cant sleep, both from excitement to start a new year. they got to learn more about each other other, and they started to feel less awkward.

“oh yeah i know the girl you were with earlier, we see her often, i think shes the daughter of coach’s friend” aubrey mentioned peyton. “ah yeah she told me! shes also freshman in psychology with me” y/n replied. “thats cool! she can bring you to our games and support us huskies!” aubrey said.

“we will see, since i just really focus on my academics this year. plan to get high grades and transfer to stanford. got rejected but its my ultimate dream” y/n sighed. she then talked about stanford more and her father. aubrey comforted her, saying “im so sorry, im always here for you! reach for that goal, im sure your father is proud of you. but in the meantime, dont worry, uconns got you!”

the two got sleepy and head off to bed. y/n felt happy as she felt more relieved with choosing uconn. she closed her eyes, getting rest for the next day.

next day; first day of actual school

“you guys will make your own research, anything about psychology, i want to see your passion and skills. research has to be done by the end of the semester, but we will have working sessions mixed with the lectures so i know you guys have progress.” the professor said.

it was y/n’s first class, and she got bombed with this? i mean yeah, she could do it, but it just suprised her as it was the first thing her professor said. and plus, what topic could she even work on?

after classes, peyton invited y/n to watch basketball training with her. y/n insisted but peyton really wanted to watch her “crush.” y/n nodded her head, and just thought that she could use her laptop, thinking about what her research should be about.

when they went into the court, aubrey saw y/n and waved at her, paige and the others looking confused, but y/n just shrugged it off and heard aubrey explaining to her team that they are roommates. on the other hand, peyton was getting excited and pointed at azzi. “she is sooooo pretty. ive been crushing on her ever since my dad bought me to their game. she’s a sophomore” peyton exclaimed. y/n teased her for a bit, and then she pulled out her laptop.

she didnt know what topic to use, and when she heard the basketball team talk about their homework, she got an idea.

a comparative research on the academic resilience of students and student-athletes in the university of connecticut.

[libraryofloveletters]

Lost But Found

pairing: max verstappen x teammate/rival!reader

summary: even the best of the friends can have falling outs, especially when you’re on opposites side of the track. 

author’s note: max and the teammate!reader prompt fit hand in hand

all photos are from instagram and/or pinterest :) 

written in the photos series masterlist

redbullracing

liked by youruser, maxverstappen1 and 239,833 others 

redbullracing: today we say goodbye to our star girl, race winner and fashion icon, yn ln! she’s closing her chapter with us here at redbull; 19 wins, 27 podiums and 5 years of memories. we wish you all the best!💙💙💙 

tagged: youruser

view 3,138 comments 

redbullyn: we’ll miss you 🥲

youruser: don’t make me cry!!!! I love you guys! my forever family 🥺💙 

landonorris: waiting for you over at mclaren 

↪️youruser: shut up you’ll see me soon enough 

maxverstappen1: ❤️

max33_yn92: I hope we still get yn and max content! 

— 

youruser added an instagram story 

— 

youruser 

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, pierregasly and 723,945 others 

youruser: MONACO I LOVE YOU!!!!! thank you to the team, to landonorris for his amazing defending today and to the fans. I love you all, this one’s for y’all!! 🧡🧡🧡

view 883 comments

yn_queenofracing: !!!!!! So happy for you baby!!!!!!! 

landonorris: congrats mate! 🧡👍🏽

↪️youruser: thanks lando no-rizz! 🧡🧡

user92: 😍😍😍

charles_leclerc: congrats yn! fantastic drive today 👍🏽

↪️youruser: merci monsieur leclerc ☺️

—

— 

redbullracing

liked by youruser, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 289,394 others 

redbullracing: ladies and gentlemen, your 2022 world champion! maxverstappen1 has done it again! 🥳💙🧡

view 1,394 comments 

danielricciardo: congratulations mate! proud of you! 👍🏽❤️

worldchampmax: HELL YEAH BABY 

youruser: 🦁🧡

f1: congratulations max! 🥳

user33: YES MAX!!! WORLD CHAMP LETS GOOOOOOOOO 

—

youruser 

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 983,948 others 

youruser: some people don’t see one race win, let alone one championship but to do it twice, that’s something so special that can’t be explained. congratulations you absolute lion! 🦁🧡

tagged: maxverstappen1 

view 2,938 comments 

maxxyn: omg 😭😭😭😭

user3: her calling him lion is sooooo 🥹🥹🥹

maxverstappen1: ❤️❤️

danielricciardo: got me tearing up on my plane 

↪️youruser: I’ll FedEx some tissues 

-- 

youruser added an instagram story 

[tojiwrd]

4: fate is fickle ; gojo satoru

pairing gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary when satoru breaks off your engagement, you understand and accept it. but when he marries someone else, you don't understand because he didn't want to be tied down.

content warnings family problems, bad, sad, emotional infidelity, dangerously short chapter im sorry getting you ready for the next one &lt;;33 flashback flashback y did satoru end it with u??

word count 1.3k

a/n i'll beat both of them up i promise

send thoughts ↞ prev next ↠ to be added to taglist

People said promising yourself to someone you love was euphoric; it was a feeling you couldn’t achieve through any other form of happiness or drugs. Satoru believed that because when he asked you to marry him and you said yes, he felt as though he could rearrange and hang every star in the sky to spell your names for the rest of eternity. It was electric, the feeling, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

But Satoru wasn’t somebody who was ever in the midst of two lines; if he was happy, he was so fucking happy, and if he was sad, he was so fucking sad. 

Growing up in his home hadn’t taught him many things, but he’d come out of it with two lessons he’d always abide by:

Never, ever make promises you can’t keep.

If you can go against Gojo Takayashi’s wishes, do it.

He knew that he should wait to tell his parents about his engagement with you until you were with him, which is why he didn’t let it slip during the first dinner he had with his parents since he put a ring on your finger. When his father said he’d invited a guest over, Satoru felt more at ease to keep his mouth shut because, even though his parents were not his favorite people, he was itching to see their reaction. The little boy that lived somewhere in the abyss of his mind expected them to pop champagne, for his mother to immediately call each and every one of the people she knew to tell them the good news, for his father to pat him on the back with a gleeful smile that made him feel like he’d at least done one thing to make him proud.

And, even though his second rule was to always strive to go against his father, he felt it would be some sort of a twisted poetic number for his father to be proud of him for loving you. For you loving him back.

Kimura Hana was pleasant, and her parents even more so. Despite that, both children on the dinner table that night had a hard time trying to entertain themselves with the dull conversation. Their fathers droned on about their next upcoming business ventures, constantly toasting to the point they’d made a toast to the art of toasting, claiming that it was the best excuse for people to down more alcohol with good intention. 

Hana kicked his leg underneath the table from beside him and Satoru, Y/N-loving, elated-over-his-engagement-in-private Satoru, almost sent her a glare for being so close to him. But he covered it when he noticed a small napkin she passed his way, a small giggle leaving her lips. 

He opened it, and there he read, in pretty and small handwriting with red ink:

this is sooooo boring.

He looked around and patted his pockets subtly when her lithe fingers reached out, right above his lap, and offered him a pen. He gave her a small smile before replying:

If i have to hear another stupid toast, I’m going back to my room

She scanned his reply, and he noticed her lips curve up upwards as she did. Satoru leaned back, fork mushing the leftovers of his desert as he waited for her. Her hands reached down, and placed it right on his thigh and he almost jolted at the slight hint of her fingers against his jean-clad thighs.

He shakily opened the response, a misplaced sense of guilt ravishing his brain.

what about me???

He tried not to think much before he replied, reminding himself that this was friendly. She was being friendly.

You can come up too. I’d hate to leave you here with the wolves.

“Gojo,” Hana said, her voice loud enough for the entire table to hear. Satoru turned to her, raising his brows. “You wanted to show me that book, right?” She turned to her mother. “Ma, do we have enough time for me to go up and check it out?”

Her mother smiled a very specific kind of smile, and Satoru once again reminded himself that this was friendly. 

“Oh, of course. With the way things are going, I think we have about twenty more toasts to go.”

Satoru glanced back at his father who, in his drunken stupor, paid him no mind while his mother barely looked his way, eyes focused on the empty plate below her. 

When Hana went through his small bookshelf, something he didn’t think she’d actually do, he sat on his messy bed and watched her. She stopped at one of the books and pulled it out, a small smile on her lips as she turned back to look at Satoru. 

“What is this?” she asked, plopping down on the bed as she scanned a CD he’d placed in the middle of all the books. It was something Geto had given him once after a fight he’d had with you two months into your relationship, and if he remembered correctly, he’d written, on top of the case with a thick, black marker: move on bro!! Geto had brought it up in one of your recent conversations and said he wasn’t right in the head to think either of you could ever move on from the other, and followed that statement by saying you were meant for each other.

“Uh, my friend gave it to me after I had a… well—”

“A breakup?”

It was a small falling out, but he didn’t correct her because it was so long ago. So, he nodded. 

“Breakups are so—they’re so annoying.”

Satoru chuckled, curious. “Got your heart broke or somethin’?”

She shook her head vigorously, as though she hated that statement with every fiber in her bones. “No, at least not recently. Probably because I hate the idea of meaningless relationships.”

Meaningless relationships? “Elaborate.”

“I don’t know! Like, I’ve thought about it and I just don’t see the reason to tie myself down to someone, you know? I’m young and I have a lot of time to get serious and have joint bank accounts but now? I feel like if I ever tied myself down, it’d end sometime because we end up hating each other for holding each other back while we’re so young.”

He tried not to think about her words too much, but it was hard. He was sure she’d say something completely different were he to tell him about you and your engagement, sugarcoating her words and saying stuff like not you! I’m just talking about me, of course. And that was what he didn’t want. He appreciated her brutal honesty because she was unknowingly giving her perspective on something he hadn’t thought about before getting engaged. 

You love her and you’re her fiance, a part of his mind told him, holding him back from probing further. But another part, the part of him that was always scared over one thing or another pushed him to ask her more. 

And he did, he asked until he was unconsciously convincing himself that the two of you shouldn’t go through with this, but not enough for him to break it off with you. 

What did convince him to break it off with you was something that happened around a month later, after he and Hana had hung out plenty of times due to the increasing closeness of their parents. It was because he found himself shifting his chair closer to hers during dinner. It was because he unconsciously raised his thigh everytime she passed him a note and didn’t reach out his hand so her fingers would graze over it. It was because he was texting her more than he was texting you, and a part of him didn’t seem to mind it. 

He knew it was wrong, despite the plethora of times he tried to convince himself that it was platonic. He couldn’t deny that there was something so utterly wrong about how he didn’t want to tell Hana that he was engaged to you. He didn’t end it with you after doing something that would instantly cross the line he’d been teetering over the edge of for a month, he ended it with you when he felt like if she would cross that line unknowingly, he wouldn’t stop himself from giving in. 

And Satoru didn’t want to cross that line.

[sturniozo]

Our Lips Are Sealed VII

Heyyo! I know this took sooooo long but I got a full time job that I’ve been picking up shifts as much I can so I had almost no time off to write. I’m not very happy with how this chapter turned out but at least I got it done. I figure after I finish the fic I’ll edit it and upload it to Wattpad. I thought about doing that with all my fics, but I wasn’t sure if anyone would want that lol. Anyways here the fic

“Is that everything?” Nate asks as he zips up his bag. I swing mine over my shoulder, checking my list once again.

“Lets see, sleeping bag, flashlight, batteries, charger, snacks-” I get cut off by Chris yanking my bag open while it’s on my back.

“What snacks you got?” He asks.

“None for you.” I say as I turn around away from him. “Are you guys checking your bags to make sure you have everything on the list?” I ask as I go back over the list.

“Yeah, yeah.” Chris mutters.

“Y/N, we got everything, chill out!” Nate laughs and pulls my bag off my back to hold onto himself.

I shake my head. “Not until I’m sure we have everything.”

“It's three days.” Nick says. “We’ll survive if we forget a few things.”

“We’ll survive, but it won’t be as good of an experience as it should have been if we remembered everything.” I state.

“She’s not gonna let up until she makes sure we all have everything we need.” Nate says as he sets both of our bags down and sits down at the island counter.

“Fine.” Chris says as he sits down next to Nate, Nick and Matt following and sitting down as well.

“Okay.” I stand up straight and look over the list once again. “Snacks, water, kool-aid packets for those of us who don’t like plain water,” I mumble as I look down further over the list. “Pillows, some extra blankets,”

“Is this just what’s supposed to be in our individual bags?” Matt asks.

Nate hits his arm, “Dude don’t interrupt her.”

“It’s okay.” I shrug. “I have another list for everything else.” I tell Matt. “this is just what's supposed to be in our bags.” Matt nods and sits back in his seat. I go back down the list, opening my mouth to speak but am once again cut off.

“Are joints on your list, cos I have some pre rolled- oof” Chris starts but Nate slaps his arm.

“She didn’t put joints on the list, she doesn’t smoke asswipe.” Nate says.

I set my list down. “So everyone has everything?” I ask.

“Did you go over your whole list?” Nick asks.

“What about socks and pajamas and the other shit?” Nate asks.

“You guys are antsy, and I’m sure you have everything anyways.” I shrug.

“Y/N, you love your lists.” Nate gets up from his seat and takes the list off from the counter. “Okay, extra blankets, swim wear, three days of clothes, towels, tiny sets of shampoo, conditioner, and soap, shower flip flops, shower flip flops?” Nate turns to me with a confused look on his face.

“Those showers at campsites have disgusting floors.” I state.

Nate just nods and goes back to the list. “Go bag- what’s a go bag?”

“For the bathroom, it’s got toilet paper, wet wipes, plastic gloves-“

“Plastic gloves?” Nick asks.

“Do the bathrooms not have toilet paper?” Chris asks.

“Well, yeah, but do you actually want to use gross moldy campsite toilet paper?” I ask.

Nick nods. “Y/N’s right. She thinks ahead.”

“Yeah she always has.” Nate says. “That seems to be it, does everyone have everything?”

“I don’t think anyone but Y/N has a go bag.” Nick says.

“Yeah or shampoo, conditioner and soap.” Chris says, which causes everyone to look at him.

“You didn’t pack that?” Matt asks.

“I didn’t think of it.” Chris shrugs.

“Okay, everyone get fully packed, moms gonna be home in an hour and she’ll want to just change out of her work clothes and leave.” I say, and everyone gets up to get the rest of the things they had forgotten.

I pick up my bag from Nate's seat and dig through the side pocket for the other list. The list of other items meant for everyone during the camping trip.

I look over the list and check off everything that we have, even adding things that I think of to add into the coolers and bags.

I check off the last thing on my list, closing up the cooler and tying and zipping shut all the bags. I stand up straight and set the list down, gasping as I feel someone’s arms wrap around me.

“Happy early birthday.” Chris whispers in my ear as he hugs me from behind.

“It’s not until tomorrow.” I say and try to stay still, unsure what to do.

“That’s what makes it early.” Chris laughs and moves me from side to side as he holds me.

“Did you get everything packed?” I ask.

“Yeah, ma.” He laughs. “I got everything.” He kisses my cheek before letting go of me and moving to stand in front of me. I look down to hide the blush that has creeped up my cheeks. Chris chuckles softly, which causes my stomach to flip. “You’re too cute.” He mumbles.

He reaches his hand to my face, but as soon as Nate walks in, Chris’s hand drops back to his side.

“Everyone got everything now?” Nate asks, seeming not to notice anything.

“Yeah.” I say, not looking at Nate so he doesn’t see my reddened face. He swings his arm over my shoulder and pulls my close to him, not paying attention to my flustered state, fortunately for me.

“Yeah, I was just helping Y/N with the last of the other stuff.” Chris says as he sits down at the counter.

“Mom should be home soon, so we’ll get this stuff in the van when she gets home.” Nate says as he sits down next to Chris.

“So when does your mom get off work?” Matt asks as he walks in.

“I just told Chris she should be home any second.” Nate says as he looks at his phone.

Matt sits down at the counter with the two other boys. I sit down next to Chris. “What’s taking Nick so long?” I ask.

Chris shrugs. “Who knows.” He says. We all stay silent for a few moments, all doing our own thing on our phones while we wait for Nick and my mother.

It’s only a few minutes before we hear my moms van pull into the driveway. “I better go see what’s taking Nick forever to get packed.” Matt says as he stands up.

Nate follows behind Matt, leaving me and Chris alone once again. I glance over at Chris, whose eyes are glued to his phone. I bite my lip and look away.

“I can see you staring.” Chris says before I have a chance to say anything.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I quickly retort as I look away.

Chris just chuckles and puts his phone down, looking my way as he leans his chin on his hand, propping up his head. I glance over at him to see his dorkish smile as he stares at me. Before I can ask why he’s looking at me so intensely, he says “You’re adorable sometimes, you know that?”

A blush creeps up my cheeks. “What?” I stammer.

Before Chris can answer, he shoots up straight, looking at the staircase. I turn my gaze to where his is focused and lock eyes with my brother.

“Why’s your face so red?” Nate asks as he walks down the stairs, Nick following behind him with his bags packed. “Is it too hot in here or something?”

“I think it’s a little stuffy.” Chris says as he leans back in his seat.

Nate shrugs it off. “Let’s not keep mom waiting any longer.” He says as he picks up a few of the bags. I step down from the island bar stool and grab my bags, following Nate out the door and to the car. Our mom sits in the front seat, playing her music as she scrolls what I presume is probably Facebook on her phone.

Matt follows out the door soon after. We all stuff our bags in the back of moms car to the best of our abilities before piling in the car. Nate sits in the front seat by mom, leaving the four of us to cram into the three seats in the back.

“How is this going to work?” Matt asks.

“Maybe we can cram Chris in the trunk?” Nick suggests.

“Y/N can sit on my lap.” Chris shrugs as he climbs in and sits by the window. He holds his hand out to me for me to join him.

“No.” Nate says.

We all fall silent for a moment before Chris speaks. “Then what do you suggest we do?”

“I think Nick’s idea was best.”

Nick stifles in a laugh and Matt punches his arm to tell him to cut it out.

“I’m not gonna fit in the trunk.” Chris says. “What’s wrong with my idea?”

“It’s not safe for Y/N.” Nate says.

“I’ll drive slowly if it makes you feel better, hun.” Our mom chimes in.

“Yeah dude. She’ll drive slow.” Chris repeats.

Nate glares daggers into Chris’s soul and Chris raises his hands in surrender. “She’s not sitting on your lap.” Nate spits.

“Do I get a say in this?” I ask.

“No!” Nate says.

“Yes dear.” My mom says at the same time. Nate looks surprised at our mom. “She’s an adult, she can sit where she wants. And if it on her friend because there’s no seats, what’s the harm?”

“She’s not an adult until tomorrow.” Nate says.

“She’s still old enough to make her own decisions.” Mom says. “Now hurry up and get in the car. Close those doors, you’re letting all my cool air out.” Mom ushers us to hurry.

I squeeze in and sit between Matt and Nick, cramping us all in there. “Are you sure Chris won’t fit in the trunk?” Nick asks again.

“I’m not going in the trunk dude!” Chris says again. “Come here, Y/N.” He pulls me over to his seat at the window. He positions me on his lap, and I hold onto the cupholder to keep my full weight off Chris.

“Are we all ready?” Mom asks.

“No! She’s not sitting on his lap!” Nate yells.

“Don’t shout!” Mom says. “Y/N, are you okay with the seating arrangement?”

I look at Nate who’s scowling at Chris. His eyes shift to me. “Yeah.” I say softly.

Nate’s eyes soften and he looks at me with confusion. He stays silent as he turns back to face forward.

“Alright, let’s get going.” Mom says.

TAGS: (tell em if you want added or removed please) @urfavpouge @savageking3 @tastesousweet @jko3005 @sturniolo0ntop @dwalk41202 @stvrnise @iloveneilperry @luvmxtt @blueeyedbesson @iloveurgf @mattswifr @that-chris-girl01 @sturniolhoe @remussbitch @chrisstankyleg @jetaimevous @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chriss @carolinalikesthings @mattscokewhore @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07 @freshloveforthefit

[girlbloggersfolly]

DELTA DAWN - part 1 // Camp Woodrow

Pairing: camp counsellour!joel miller x camp lifeguard!afab!reader

Rating: Explicit (not yet but it will be) 18+ MDNI

Word count: 5.4k

Summary: (1979 summer camp AU) After making a spontaneous trip northwest to a summer camp in need of staff with a few new friends, you find not everyone is so welcoming.

Chapter warnings: age gap (20 + 49), a whole lot of me waffling, extreme slow burn enemies to lovers ect ect ect, swearing, drug use, cigarettes, complicated relationship (not joel and reader.. yet), perv!reader, f!masturbation. absolutely NO use of y/n, reader has hair that can be put in a ponytail, and she can swim duh. This chapter is very tame, basically, just setting it up.

a/n: ok wow this is exciting, first chapter done and i'm pretty happy with it. Just a warning, i really mean it when I say slow burn, there will be no fluffing around at alllllll for a couple chapters, i'm not sure where i'm taking this or how long it will be, i'm thinking maybe 4? anyway enough chatter there'll be enough of that in the fic, if your reading this i love you sooooo much!!!!!!!

Camp Woodrow 1979

The Knack blasted from Sharon’s stereo, smoke plumed from Billies Joint, you’d been driving for a night or so. Mid-morning sun streamed through the windows, it was a brackish heat you had been getting all too used to. You’d met Billy, Sharon and Abel in Salt lake city at a gig, and now you were pleasantly stuck with them for the rest of summer. The drive from Salt lake city to Oregon was long, even longer in Sharon’s dads Buick which hadn’t seen the inside of a mechanic’s since 71’. The three of them had been working at Camp Woodrow each summer since they were, what was it? 15? Somehow they’d managed to persuade you to pack up your whole new life of groupie love and tour buses into a beat up Buick, taking the scenic route up to Oregon for a long, stagnant summer of campfires and controlled water sports, organised fun. You’d made the mistake of mentioning to Sharon you had lifeguard training; there and then it’d been decided you’d be the perfect replacement for their good friend Woody, who usually took the role of Lifeguard in camp, he was off in L.A, having made a name for himself in adult film. It was a long story you’d heard each salacious detail of. 

It’d been a total coincidence, meeting the three of them. You’d let some girlfriends drag you to a gig in a shifty basement venue (Billies band’s place (who weren’t nearly the legendary group they thought they were)) and had been… charmed by Billy… You’d fucked, he was just okay at it but he was easy on the eyes, knew a good dealer and it was cool to tell people you were fucking a hotshot ‘rock star’, even if he was less than generous in the bedroom. Soon you were fast friends with the whole group of them, groupies and all. So here you were, head in Billies lap, high off the broken sun on your face and second hand smoke, his hand drumming along to Doug Fieger’s voice on your bare stomach. You’d hitched a ride in Sharon’s dad’s car with her, Billy and her ‘it's complicated’ Abel.

“Are we there yet?”

Billy coughed through a cloud of smoke, yellow tinted sunglasses making him look all the pretentious rocker he wished he was. 

“Can you open a fucking window, do you know how hard it is to get that smell out these seats?”

Sharon said through agonising chomps of that wad of gum she’d had in her mouth since they’d driven through Boise. Billy cranked open the window. The hideous thrum of wind on the highway beating through the static air of the car. Your hair whipped around furiously and you sat up, stirred from the holy-half-high state. 

“Happy?” Billy said over the obnoxious sound of the engine and the wind. Sharon scoffed loudly over the sound. “I asked when are we going to fucking be there.” He spluttered yet again over his joint, smirking at you while he complained like a child to a very frustrated Sharon. “It’s just down the next turn,” He said, looking at the map in Abel’s lap, he was more focused on the magazine in his hands, you peaked over his shoulder, a sexy nun, the big, hot pink letters ‘TEASE’ haloing the cover.  

“We’re lost,” Billy hit his head back against the window, gosh he could really be a baby sometimes, you remarked internally, increasingly tired of the whole ‘Billy’ thing, a sticky situation you’d gotten into. The car broke into complaints, Sharon, searching frantically for the inconspicuous turning and little wooden sign to Camp Woodrow, stationed at the mouth of lake Calgonie. They’d eagerly shown you their collection of polaroids from the camp in the first few hours of the drive. It was exactly as you’d imagined, a classic all-American summer camp, straight from a gnarly slasher flick. 

“Motherfucker!” Sharon retaliated triumphantly as she manoeuvred the cranky old Buick down the sharp dirt road turning Camp Woodrow 500 yards. Bullseye. The road was almost too narrow, lined with unruly trees, leading up to the clearing in the dense foliage. Billy threw his joint out the window, stretching so his shirt rode up, showing off that lean torso that he was so damn proud of, flashing you a movie star grin. You tucked your hair behind your ears, putting your chuck taylor’s back on after the drive. You knew you all stunk of weed and BO.

 The car came to a pained, screeching halt in a makeshift parking lot. There were two cars parked in the other ‘spaces’, you noticed a blue Ford F-100 pick up, covered in mud and dust, your dad had one of those. Sharon let out a suggestive moan as she stretched, slamming the door behind her so hard you thought it might fall off. You all followed after her, Billy’s arm over your shoulder proudly, as if he was the one who’d just driven for 10 hours instead of whining the entire drive. You told yourself to just get over it, the summer was too long and too hot to hold onto this strange resentment you’d been harbouring for him as of late.

“Hey Abel! Sharon!” You heard from behind you, spotting a man you hadn’t seen before. He was shorter and well built, had a groomed moustache and lustrous black curls. “Tommy!” Sharon squealed, The pair embraced. You took the chance to get acquainted with your surroundings, turning away from the reunion to the woods behind you. Beautiful, it really was. You were a city kid, a suburban mole, so any chance at kindling some kind of a relationship with nature had you jumping at the opportunity, even if it meant dealing with children - Billy included. Trees as far as you could see, as high as you could see, the air clearer than you’d known it in the weeks you’d spent with these stoners.

“You remember Billy,” Abel said to Tommy, motioning to the boy next to you, who waved in his wanton fashion; too cool to put any effort into something as taxing as a wave. “Of course,” Tommy put his hands on his hips, it was hard to forget Billy. “And who’s the lady?” Tommy grinned, sauntering over, offering his hand to shake. Before you could introduce yourself, Sharon did it for you, telling him your name, which he repeated to himself. “She’s Woody’s replacement… lifeguard.” Sharon added, showing you off like an action figure. You fiddled with the hem of your denim shorts absentmindedly. “Ahh, lifeguard,” He had a firm handshake, making polite eye contact, you knew you’d get along with him. “It’s so nice to meet you, I’m super excited to get started.” You said warmly, the words falling from your mouth in something like a croak, you realised you’d hardly spoken for the entire drive, absorbed in tireless thought. Tommy clapped his hands together and turned to Abel and Sharon, then back to you and Billy.

“Well the kids are coming tomorrow, so, should give y’all time to settle,” He gave a little talk, friendly, he was what a camp manager should be, what you expected him to be. It immediately settled you, but the dead weight of Billy’s arm on your shoulders, tying you to him, was a constant jarring reminder of the mess you’d got yourself into with him.

The path to the camp staff cabins was a pretty one, scenic, you listened to your own steady breaths merging with the sounds of the forests. Billy walked ahead of you, his own suitcase swinging as him and Abel laughed their way into their own cabin. Separated by gender, convenient for yourself. Sharon lit a cigarette and grabbed the bottom bunk. You guessed it was so she could sneak Abel in and fuck him a little less conspicuously.

You sat on the top bunk, staring up at the damp ceiling, smoking a cigarette and listening to Sharon tuning a little radio, she cursed over the static.

In the evening you and Sharon decided to take a walk, leaving the boys to turn their cabin into a gas chamber, the forest stunk of them. “C’mon Lifeguard,” Sharon taunted, grinning at you through her cherry chapstick-ed lips. You took it all in, the forest, which opened up to Lake Calgonie.

“Holy shit,” You breathed as you stepped out onto the dock, the sun was setting over the trees, casting a vibrant orange hue over the lake. Your trance was broken by the click of Sharon’s Polaroid camera, the whir of the picture being processed. “It’s something, huh?” She nodded, somewhat proud of the landscape. “This is-” You started, unsure of the right word for how you felt, a little stoned from earlier, weary from the drive, muscles aching, brain heaving from the whole Billy thing, in complete awe of the situation you were in, impossibly, fucking happy. “Is it deep?” You turned to her, realising she was taking a picture of you. Click, Whirrrrr.

She fanned the two polaroids for a bit, tucking them in her bra, a trick she’d giggled about a few weeks ago. “Yeah, gets pretty deep in the middle,” She shrugged, more absorbed in the development of the polaroids she’d taken of you. She noticed the curious, awe-struck look on your face.

By the time you and Sharon returned to the camp the fire was blazing, crackling pleasantly, Billy, Abel, Tommy and an older lady. “Now, I know it wasn’t you two dumbasses who got the fire started,” Sharon landed the playful jab as she planted herself on Abel's lap, announcing her arrival the way she always did, her laugh echoing through the forest. Billy shuffled up to make space for you on the log, his arm around you in seconds, you were sure that that fucking arm would break your damn shoulder soon from how much he rested there. 

“Hey where’s Joel?” Billy asked suddenly. You were only half listening, now the fully developed polaroids were being flashed at you; it was you looking over your shoulder in candid surprise, engulfed in the flashlight and the rich sunset from behind, like a deer in the headlights. “Well what’s he doing in his cabin?” Billy said loudly with a cocky chuckle.

You tuned him out, letting your brain run away with itself, watching as the older woman examined the polaroid that Sharon was passing around for admiration. “Beautiful ain’t she,” Sharon quipped, shooting you a playful wink as she peered over the older woman’s shoulder at your picture. Tommy poked at the fire, blowing at it expertly, so this was the country man. “Oh, this is Lou by the way,” Tommy nodded towards the bright eyed older woman, “She’s one of our senior camp leaders, and our chef,” He said with a tight smile towards you, clearly the introduction was pointed. It was dark now, the faces of your friends and acquaintances lit up by firelight, illuminated in the orange. 

“Hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” You whispered to Billy, waiting for him to direct you. “It's between the weird tree, with all the branches, remember? and the bigger Cabins, showers there too.”

It was the first time you’d been alone for a couple days. As much as you were charmed by your fast friends, a long lonesome walk to the john was very much needed. Abel’s lighter, you'd borrowed one night from his coat pocket, clicked to life in your hand, the small flame lapping at the cherry end of your cigarette as it hung between your lips. You walked slowly to prolong your time alone, admiring the trees, listening to the forest by night and the gentle padding of your sneakers across the dirt.

After relieving yourself in the makeshift hut you wondered if you could even call a ‘bathroom’, you wandered as slowly as possible down the path, blowing plumes of smoke into the still night, feeling the trees sigh around you. You imagined what your parents were doing right now, sitting in their condo in Cedar city, probably off to bed. You rarely thought of them anymore. 

You were brought to a standstill by one of the larger cabins, you took a drag of your cigarette and stood watching the window. You suddenly felt like a complete peeping tom; a man appeared in the window, not a man, a wife-beater clad god. He paced up to the edge of the room, giving you time to properly take him in; a quality of moustache you’d only seen in porn flicks, a soft, yet muscular torso, paired with arms that looked like they could snap Billy in two. You let the cover of nightfall mask the growing warmth on your cheeks. He stretched, wife beater riding up to reveal the unruly outline of a happy trail. Jesus christ. He was older, that was obvious enough, late forties? early fifties? You tucked your lips into a thin line, gazing at him, feeling like one of the fucking creeps you so often complained about and really not caring.

“Who is that guy?” You mused to Sharon back in the cabin, as she went through her skincare regiment in the janky little mirror, your limbs draped down from the top bunk like a fancy throw rug. “What guy?” She said, the tube of moisturiser taking up her full attention. “I ran into this guy when I went to pee? Moustache, in his forties, maybe fifties?.” You were like a teenager again, batting your eyelashes up at the ceiling. “Joel?” She cooed, turning to face you abruptly, clearly she had the same idea, you’d pulled her attention now. “You met Joel?” She seemed very impressed by this, but met was a strong word, you’d watched him in his cabin for a minute or so. You suddenly felt like this was something you shouldn’t have done, for whatever reason, maybe it was that sultry look in her eye all of a sudden, the accusatory tone in her pouty mouth. “Mhmm” You hummed warily, sitting up to look down at her from the top bunk. She scoffed, massaging her skin “Joel’s Tommy’s big brother, he runs the camp with him, total hunk right?” She teased. It made sense, Joel had looked like his brother, taller you thought, a little rougher around the edges. “How come he wasn’t at the fire?” You pictured him in his cabin, all alone. You now remembered Billy asking for him earlier. “He’s not the biggest fan of um, Billy and Abel, caught them sneaking in these girls, y’know, getting high a couple years ago, but they were like 17, like he’s had it out for them for a while.” This story didn’t come as a surprise, you imagined a young Billy and Abel getting caught smoking pot with girls by the lake. “It’s really only thanks to Tommy that we were allowed back, Joel would’ve gotten rid of them a while ago, wouldn’t’ve been outta line to either,” Sharon rambled on, all you could think about were those broad shoulders, the curve of his aquiline nose, it was a perverted stereotype you didn’t mind filling, young girl absolutely taken by an older man she most definitely could not have. “It’s a shame, he’s so fucking hot,” Sharon said as she pursed her lips, applying a healthy amount of lip balm to her pout. 

Camp LIFEGUARD t-shirt on, little red running shorts that covered next to nothing, chuck taylors to match, another pair of Billies big brown sunglasses on your nose, you were every bit the summer camp lifeguard. Tommy had your lifeguard certificate and paperwork, breakfast had been a breeze, it was all ready. The kids were arriving in the afternoon, so you had the morning to scope the place out alone, leaving Sharon with the guys and taking the path to the lake.

The lake was invigorating as you dipped your toe through the strangely still surface, chuck taylor’s, socks, shirt, glasses and the little metal whistle all bundled into a polite little pile on the edge of the dock. You sat down, taking a deep breath and splashing your feet gently in the water, the tiny ripples lapping back at your calves. It truly did feel like a movie to you, clad in that red, lifeguard swimsuit, hopefully catching some sun.

The morning was pleasant, if a little humid. As warm as it gets in the pacific northwest, you basked in the quiet of the lake, sliding slowly into the water. It was eerily calm after the recent chaos that had become your beloved life. 

You hadn’t swam leisurely in a while, not in a lake for even longer. You avoided the silty bottom by pushing off immediately to the middle, planning to test just how deep this lake was. It was strangely clear, you could see the bottom for a while, but as you swam out, below you it was just your flailing limbs treading in the dark blue. The hum of a boat engine broke the trance you’d been under all morning, snapping into consciousness as a small speedboat made its way around the lake, right up close to where you were treading water. You hadn’t seen it from the dock, hadn't noticed any waves.

 It came to a quick halt, splashing water in your face. “Motherfucker” You spluttered as you spat out lake water. You wiped your eyes and shielded them from the sun to see who this obnoxious, nautical asshole was. He looked down at you, crouching, silhouetted by the sun. 

“You shouldn’t be swimming without a lifeguard.” As your eyes adjusted to the bright light you identified the asshole: Joel, your blood ran colder than it already was. You could see him better now, dark glasses on, those sun kissed forearms, his slightly sun bleached STAFF t-shirt, that low, southern voice still unbearably charming, pouring over you like molasses even when he was being cold.

You realised you were staring and looked to your left at the dock. “Sorry, sir,” You started, hoping he’d appreciate the formality, “I am the lifeguard,” You grinned up at him with a saccharine bat of your eyelashes, really trying to appeal to the sexiest man you’d ever seen. He was still staring down at you in the water, sunglasses giving away nothing.

He let out a short scoff, obviously not amused. “Well what happens when you drown?” He said coldly, he did not seem at all charmed by that killer grin you flaunted so well, so you let it drop ever so slightly. Maybe you couldn’t kill him with kindness? “No lifeguard out to save your ass,” He looked down at you pointedly, still crouched beside you like you would’ve done with a kid that dived in a no dive pool. 

“I’m a strong swimmer.” You cocked your head, he scoffed again, shaking his head in casual disbelief. You were too absorbed in working out whether he looked more like Burt Reynolds or Tom Selleck. “I don't care how strong’a swimmer you are, missy,” He retaliated quickly, your lips parted in slight surprise, you weren’t used to people being even slightly unpleasant to you, thanks to your people pleasing.

“I'm sorry?” You said in the wake of your surprise.

“Look, lifeguard, I’m gonna ask you to strongly swim back to the dock right about fuckin’ now,” He stood up to his full height chuckling at you in that southern baritone, again darkened to a silhouette by the sun. You remembered how good his muscular body looked in that wife beater, his goddamn broad shoulders, then pushed the thoughts from your brain, it was fucking embarrassing, you batting your eyelashes and grinning at him like he wasn’t reprimanding you.

After hastily making your way back to camp, a complete state, your cheeks annoyingly hot with embarrassment and a sinking feeling that you could only call ‘horny’, you caught up with the rest of the guys. They’d somehow got the radio set up and were sitting around it outside the boy’s cabin like moths to a light, Buffalo Springfield was playing softly, the sound slightly subdued, broken by static every so often.

You leant on the wall beside them, trying to collect yourself after whatever the fuck that was. “How's the water temp, sugar,” Billy landed a light slap on your ass. You couldn't even look at them, afraid to see your own flushed reflection in their tinted sunglasses. “Tepid.” You heard yourself say absentmindedly. You knew two things for sure, Joel was an enigmatic pain in your ass; another to add to the ever growing list. The other, he had you wrapped around his little finger, you hated yourself for it, but hated him more. “I need a dart,” You sighed, keeping your eyes on your feet as Billy lit your cigarette.

The kids arrived intermittently once Abels casio read 15:00, hoards of them, and quickly. Bumbling groups of girls and boys, completely feral. You silently thanked god that all you'd be doing was watching them, making sure none of their little heads stayed underwater for too long, leaving the morale-boosting, camp spirit stuff to your friends and the other staff. Luckily no water sports on the first day, so you were free to lounge around without worrying about some kid dying on your watch.

You sort of wished you had a way to get your mind off the whole Joel thing, it really shouldn't have gotten to you as much as it had. But there was something about the whole thing, something simply despotic about the way he looked down at you, ordering you about, it fucking jarred you all afternoon, distracting you even from Billy’s hand on your ass.

The next time you saw Joel that day he was with a few kids, a couple suitcases tossed over his shoulders, a big grin on his face as he spoke to them, it wasn't mocking, wasn't charged with some quick-witted comment that he’d make sure really stung, it was paternal, sweet. You don’t know why you thought he’d be cold to everyone.

Damn kids didn't know how good they had it as he made them laugh, beaming with child-like enthusiasm. “Who’s that?” You asked Billy quickly, as if you didn't know full well who that was, as if he hadn't been the only thing on your frazzled, embarrassed mind. Billy scoffed, watching Joel just as intently as you had been. “That’s Joel Miller,” he said that name with more passion than you’d ever heard him put into anything, “Him and I don’t get along so well, sweets,” He nodded, you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes at these pet names he’d been experimenting with. You tuned out the rest of Billy’s moaning, regretting even asking him, the phrases ‘Grade A asshole’ and ‘hypocrite’ were tossed around quite senselessly. 

You needed a shower, everyone did but you weren't going to be the one to tell them that. With a crispy towel in hand and Sharon's flip flops you haphazardly made your way through the dark forest, the kids all in their cabins, staff eating round the campfire. Sharon said she'd meet you there in 20, at least one other person in this damn place knew when they needed a shower. The shower shack was something you’d have to get used to. Even in the abysmal water pressure, even with the ceiling completely caked in cobwebs occupied by creatures you really did not like the look of, the hot water was balm. It washed the smell of the lake off of you, and the dizzying BO you’d gotten used to in the last few days, cleaned off that lingering scent of pot from your skin.

You sang quietly to yourself, an Elvis song that'd been stuck in your head all week. “Your kisses lift me higher,” you scrubbed yourself with the ratty bar of soap you’d found in Sharon's wash bag, the song falling out of you at an increasingly enthusiastic pace, volume rising as you let the water infiltrate your scalp.

“I just might turn into smoke but i feel fine,” Billy was not an Elvis fan, never had been, but that didn't stop you from humming along every time he entered your brain. You heard another shower start and Sharon getting in, not for one second stopping the music falling out of you. You weren't a particularly gifted singer, but in the shower that never mattered. After singing the song countless times you turned off the water. “Just a hunk’a burnin love,” You hummed, the cool night air causing your skin to goose pimple, your nipples to harden as you wrapped your body in the itchy little towel that really didn't do much to cover you up. 

You lit a cigarette as you stepped out, deciding to wait for Sharon outside the showers as she’d instructed earlier, admiring your reflection in the clouded mirror, wiping them clear. “Hurry up, fuckin’ cow,” You chuckled, raising your voice over the sound of the shower that was still going. Like a spell, it stopped, for once she was feeling nice.

"‘Bout time,” You giggled as you combed through your hair with your fingers, cigarette hanging precariously from your lips. You didn’t look away from your reflection as you grabbed your toothbrush from the pocket of your shorts which lay in a little discarded pile beside the sinks. “It's like being at The Westgate, Las Vegas,” The familiar voice chuckled, that condescending comment about your spectacular rendition of Elvis’ ‘burning love’ going right over your head in favour of utter shock and realisation, which hit like a ten ton truck.

You practically spun on your heels to see a smirking Joel Miller shirtless, a towel slung carelessly around his hips. The wind was knocked out of you as you let your eyes linger on his torso, just how fucking built he was, beaded with water, his chest sprinkled with hair matching that on his face. Holy shit. 

You looked back at yourself in the mirror, hugging the towel tighter to your body, scooping up the toothpaste you’d jetted all over the sink from squeezing the tube in your state of shock. Holy shit holy shit holy shit. “Thought you were Sharon,” You said shakily to the sink as you washed the toothpaste from your fingers, your voice now lacking the confidence it’d possessed when you called Joel Miller a ‘fucking cow’. You felt like slamming your head through the mirror right about now, not daring to check if the heat that had spread across your cheeks was visible. “Thought you were Elvis,” He quipped, ever the witty bastard, pulling out a small razor and some shaving foam, clearly he was planning on staying. 

You took a drag of your cigarette to pull yourself back to earth. “You make a habit of sneaking up on girls in the shower?” You heard yourself say, like your mind hadn’t turned into that of a perverted teenage boy after you saw him last night.

“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,” So he knew he was hot shit, standing there more naked than you were comfortable with in that moment, that towel doing very little to distract you from the fact he was right there, all of him, rubbing shaving foam on his jaw. “You're too old to be talking like that,” you said coldly through your dead-pan, the biting words lacking the fire you intended for them. He chuckled slightly, his low voice almost a growl, reverberating through you as you attempted to squeeze your toothpaste onto the toothbrush without making another mess.  “Definitely Billy’s girl,” He said to himself as he held his razor up to the light.

Now that was too far, you turned your face to him, lips parted into a half-hearted scowl as you watched a couple droplets fall from his hair, you held on to the little towel for dear life. “What's that supposed to mean,” You shook your head in disbelief, that had truly been a low blow. “Well you are ain’ch’ya?” He shrugged, bringing the razor to his cheek, you said a silent prayer to god that his hand would slip. “No,” You said after a moment's hesitation. Billy wasn’t your guy and you certainly weren't his girl, he was a friend you sometimes, reluctantly let hump you until he finished. “He know that?” Joel scoffed, suddenly very talkative, you hadn't expected that from the authoritarian asshole who’d scolded you this morning, now a scintillating asshole. “Seemed awful comfy this even-” You cut him off quickly. “It's none of your business Joel,” you snapped, turning back to look at your glassy reflection.

This man would be the death of you; all of this, and now another mouth to ask you about Billy. “Billy’s a prick,” Joel said casually as he shaved his face, it almost startled you, the first thing you agreed with him about. “Aren't you perceptive?” The sarcasm rolled out of you, prompting another of those short, patronising chuckles from Joel.

“What's the appeal then?” It was a good point, why did you hang around with Billy when you could admit that the kid was a complete dickwad. Was it those looks? the way people seemed to gravitate towards his obnoxious laughter? It was all embarrassingly shallow.

“We hang in the same circles,” You shrugged, now completely absorbed by watching Joel shaving so expertly, still hoping your prayer would be answered. “Is he a good fuck?” Joel asked brazenly, not looking away from his own cold expression in the mirror as he cleaned up his moustache, your breath caught in your throat and you stamped out your cigarette on your ratty sneakers to disguise your prudish shock.

The answer was no, a dead no, no matter how much he thought he was. “And there's another thing that's absolutely none of your business,” You began brushing your teeth, glancing at him to see the telling smirk on his lips, that was all he needed to know. 

After a much needed break in the conversation you spat out the toothpaste, holding your hair back and running the tap. You turned to leave with the pile of clothes in your arms, you’d rather’ve taken the short journey to your cabin in the little towel than spend another damn second in that room with Joel fucking Miller. “Hey, kiddo,” Joel interjected casually, you turned to look at him with an obedience that made you sick.

“Next time you find yourself peepin’ on me in my cabin, just knock on the door.” 

You huffed an exasperated, short breath as you slammed the door to the cabin behind you, happy that Sharon was nowhere to be seen. You changed, cursing Joel under your breath over and over and over again as you pulled one of Billy’s ‘Supertramp’ t-shirts over your wet head of hair. That motherfucker! Where could you even start?

He’d seen you watching him. He’d known all day that you stood in the treeline in the unassuming disguise of nightfall, smoking as you’d watched him get ready for bed. He’d called you ‘kiddo’?! you groaned as you curled yourself into the quilt on your top bunk.

You guessed that Sharon was banging Abel in the next cabin, Billy had probably passed out from a long day of doing absolutely nothing. No matter what you thought about to get your mind off Joel; the image of him shirtless and dripping wet, his quick retaliations, nothing helped. You counted sheep, sang ‘Burning love’ a couple more times through, the shame just didn't wear off. He’d gotten the better of you today, catching you out at all the right moments, embarrassing you over and over again.

Finally, after stalling what you knew would be your only relief after a day like this, you let your hand venture under your panties, touching yourself gently at first, ego too bruised to allow yourself what you really wanted. Soon you were practically crying his name into your pillow, back arching desperately. You’d broken into a slight sweat, lips parting quiet ecstasy as relief washed over you. 

You made the decision then and there, it was sink or swim, you weren't going to let today happen again, not let your epic, man-eating reputation be stamped into the dirt  by some old washed-up cowboy with an ego for days and some strange Tom-Selleck-esque power over you.

You were going to become Joel Miller's worst fucking nightmare. 

PART 2

[kahvilahuhut]

🔍 cynosure status update

i mean. it's also periphery update too though. teehee. feel free to also check out the drawing here!

🤍 New to the story? Check out the (current) wip intros: Cynosure / Periphery

omg it's been a while, hasn't it? haha. i must admit i might have gotten A Bit too deep into some university assignments (+ my thesis). I do sometimes talk about the story on my main, too, but it's nothing that important for the story itself, mostly just some fun facts about the characters, which means that most of the development I've done is in my brain. Or is nonexistent or something. ANYWAY! Here's a status update to tell what has been happening lately! Might actually make this into something I post every now and then.

In this status update I'm going to talk a little about how it's going with the story, overall thoughts, plot/character changes and some things you can expect during next few weeks (hopefully). I'll put it all under the cut to keep this short on the dashboard 🥰

Like always, if you have any questions about the story, feel free to send an ask - I'll always be happy to answer 🤍

overall thoughts

Right now one of my top thoughts is honestly debating whether i want to, like, actually write this somewhere as a nove, or whether I should do it as a graphic novel or something. That said, if I do go with the latter, you can still expect writing bc I like to write things out to plan them. Or vise versa make some kind of sketches for writing. My brain works in a weird way, I know lol

I have been doing some worldbuilding (specifically for the story AND something for the overall story world that I have). Let me know if you'd love to hear some things I have thought about!

I've also been doing some research about *checks notes* Boston, MA. Because that's where most of the story happens :^) Though it happens in 2200's so I still have lots of room to change things around.

Definitely thinking about adding more dark/horror stuff in the world as a whole bc there's been, like, a climate crisis. AND people do interplanetary traveling. Stuff like that ought to lead to some fucked up stuff. Especially when there's megacorporations involved. Cynosure wise there's going to be something, especially in Periphery, happening to one of the main characters. 👀

plot/character updates

(that have happened lately, at least)

One of the pov characters kind of got a name update! Tobias's first name has been changed to Ripley, and it's what most characters will probably referring to it as. That said, some characters (+ itself) will refer to it as Tobias bc that's its preferred name that's somethings its friends and wife call it

Another pov character (Samuel) got an interesting change of backstory, some tweaks in personality, and its plot-revelant actions have changed a little. Sammy's changes has thus made some already existing things I've posted on here non-canon.

Slowly finally putting together what I mah want to have in Klara's chapters and it's sooooo exciting.

Polished some things about the plots, especially the different parts of the acts <3

Got more thoughts about the project itself (or, well, what it should have). That also means I need to look more into pharma research or something. Very interesting...

Overall, lots to think about and lots to research about.

things to expect in next few weeks

(that is, if I won't drown in university assignments or something)

I've had some ideas for little stories that would be happening before the story, to show more information about the characters and the story itself (like what happened in the original project). Or maybe just some fun parts of characters' backstories. So I may post something if I manage to write it!

Some more character introductions + pov character post. Might make a "tag yourself" meme. Or a powerpoint wip intro

Something else, maybe? If you have an idea, let me know!

taglist (interact with this post if you want to be added or removed!)

@ecofear @fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells @volkihar

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @the-inkwell-variable @artbyeloquent

[kmomof4]

A Scoundrel... Or a Gentleman? Ch. 9

We made it, y'all!!!! These two idiots finally get their happy ending and I sooooo hope you enjoy and think the payoff is worth all the angst they've gone through to get here!! Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me. There's really no words in the English language to express how much I appreciate it!!!

Thank you again to @jrob64 not only for her beta services, love, and encouragement, but also for talking me into writing the very last little bit of this fic and getting back on the doc this evening to look over some pretty extensive edits I decided to do at the 11th hour and 59th min!! Thank you so much again, babe!!! Also thank you to @snowbellewells and @motherkatereloyshipper for the artwork they both made to accompany the fic! I love the pieces and Y'ALL SOOOO MUCH!!!

There is one more full smut scene in this chapter. If you wish to avoid it, stop reading at the double scene change line and resume at the next double scene change line.

~*~*~

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Words: 7500 of almost 60k

Rating: M (Smut)

Tags: Regency Romance, Inspired by Francesca Bridgerton's Story, Smut

On ao3 From Beginning / Current Ch

On Tumblr Prologue Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Ch8

Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

@jrob64 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @the-darkdragonfly @jennjenn615 @donteattheappleshook @undercaffinatednightmare @pirateherokillian @cocohook38 @qualitycoffeethings @booksteaandtoomuchtv @superchocovian @motherkatereloyshipper @snowbellewells @pirateprincessofpizza @djlbg @lfh1226-linda @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic @anmylica @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate @gingerchangeling @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @soniccat @beckettj @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose @thisonesatellite @jonesfandomfanatic @elfiola @zaharadessert @ilovemesomekillianjones @mie779 @kymbersmith-90 @suwya @veryverynotgoodwrites

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Six years. 

Six years!

Six years he’d kept his feelings hidden from her. For six years his overarching purpose, coloring everything he did, was to keep her from finding out. To keep her ignorant of the depth of feeling inside him - the love, the total and complete devotion, the guilty turmoil, the utter despairing agony of knowing she’d never be his.

All gone in a matter of moments. He’d always prided himself on his iron control - keeping his passion for her deeply buried, never to see the light of day. But in a moment of weakness, he’d pulled his own heart out of his body and presented it to her on a silver platter. 

Hers to make bleed. 

Hers to shatter. 

Hers to destroy. 

And she had done it.

~*~*~

He had no knowledge of how much time passed. It might have been minutes, it might have been hours. He sat in the chair across from her bed, staring out into the night, his fingernails carving half moons in his palms.

He was suddenly aware of her standing shivering in the doorway. She was mostly dry now, but it was obvious she’d been caught in a storm. He wasn’t even aware it had rained. Her hair was still plastered to her face and hung disheveled down her back, splatters of mud on her dress. He lifted a single eyebrow in silent enquiry.

“I’ll marry you, Killian,” she said, her voice so soft he wasn’t sure he heard her correctly. 

“What?” he asked.

She took a deep, trembling breath. “I’ll marry you, Killian,” she said, stronger that time. “If you’ll have me.”

He was frozen in his chair. He couldn’t move if he wanted to, his heart too weary - and wary - to do anything.

“Why?”

She looked shocked for a moment. Perhaps she imagined that he’d come to her, full of joy and purpose, take her in his arms, and accept her agreement in the most ancient and primitive way possible. But he couldn’t. Not yet. She had to be sure. He had to be sure she was sure.

“I don’t know.”

“Really,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

A small gasp escaped her lips. “I don’t know,” she said, a bit more urgently. “Please don’t make me figure it out.” He could see her swallow from where he sat. “Not yet,” she whispered.

He rose and took one step toward her. “You can’t take it back.”

She shook her head.

“There will be no backing out. No cold feet. No changed mind,” he continued. 

“No,” she agreed. “I promise.”

Only then did he believe her. Emma never went against her given word. He was across the room in a moment, cupping her face tenderly in his hands, raining kisses across her brow, her cheeks, down her jaw, her neck. 

She raised her chin, granting him more access, her arms winding around him, pulling him forward..

“This is it. Do you understand?” he murmured into the skin of her neck before his lips latched onto her pulse point and he sucked heat to the surface. She nodded jerkily, her moan of pleasure going straight to his rapidly hardening cock.

“Yes,” she gasped, gripping his arms tightly. “Oh, yes, Killian.”

His arms wrapped around her, pulling her to him tightly, so she could feel how ready he was for her. He pulled the neck of her dress until her breasts were exposed to his sight, and then let the dress fall to the floor.

“I’m going to take you to bed and keep you there for however long it takes for you to conceive,” he rasped. 

She was beyond speech, only nodding as he continued his litany.

“Give you everything you desire.”

She nodded again.

“And you’ll enjoy it,” he growled.

“Yes. Oh, yes,” she moaned, as he laved his tongue over her breasts, then down her torso, until he was kneeling at her feet.

“You are mine,” he said, looking up at her, “As I am yours.” Her gaze on him was hazy with passion, but clear in their intent.

“Yes, Killian,” she breathed. “I am yours. And you are mine.”

~*~*~

The most difficult thing about marrying Killian was telling everyone she was marrying Killian. 

Emma sat at the desk in her study staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of her trying to think of the words to put to paper. She couldn’t think of a blasted thing. 

It was too sudden. Too unexpected. If she didn’t fully understand why she was doing it, how was she supposed to explain it to anyone else?

Somehow - amid all the turmoil, avoidance, and actual, physical running from Killian - Emma knew this was right. Declarations of love aside, she wanted to be his wife. She found the acknowledgement settled her nerves and swirling thoughts, and she put pen to paper, the words to her mother finally flowing freely.

She’d just finished the letter when Killian came in, carrying the post.

“From your mother,” he said, handing her a small cream colored envelope.

It was thick. Emma opened it and began to read, her jaw dropping when she got past Ruth’s rather loquacious opening.

“What is it?” Killian asked.

“Oh, my goodness,” Emma breathed, one hand covering her mouth, her eyes round in surprise.

“Is anything amiss?” he asked again. “Emma?”

“Ruby’s gotten married.”

“What?” he asked incredulously. “Your sister?”

Emma nodded, still reading the missive in front of her.

“I wasn’t aware she was being courted.”

“She wasn’t.” She couldn’t disguise the shock she felt as her eyes continued to scan her mother’s words telling the whole story of a year long secret correspondence between her sister and a Lord Humbert of Gloucestershire. And now her sister was married and no one had seen fit to share that information with her until after the fact. “I can’t believe no one told me!”

“Well, Emma,” Killian began, “you have been in Scotland.”

Emma pressed her lips into a thin line and speared Killian with a look. He shrugged.

“It’s like I don’t even exist,” she bemoaned. Killian chuckled, truly amused now. She sent him her most ferocious glare. “Oh, yes!” she said, with great dramatic flair. “Emma! Has anyone told Emma about the happenings here in London? No? Well, perhaps we should!”

“Emma,” he cajoled, “don’t be daft.”

“I’m not being daft. I’m being ignored.”

“I thought you rather liked being so far removed from the rest of your relations.”

“Well, yes,” she said grumpily, “but that’s beside the point.”

“Of course,” he murmured. She glared at him, fully aware he was being sarcastic. “I have to admire any man who gets the deed done with such swiftness.”

“Killian!”

“I did.” The smug grin he sent her was positively lecherous.

She cut her eyes at him, suppressing the twitch at the corner of her lips. “I haven’t married you yet.”

“The deed I was referring to wasn’t marriage.” His fingers found the top of her hand where it rested on the desk and he began to lightly stroke back and forth across the skin.

Emma blushed. “Stop it,” she said, jerking her hand away. “This isn’t the time.”

Killian sighed. “And so it begins.”

“What begins?” she asked, looking at him fully as he moved to the chair across the room.

“We’re not even wed yet, and already we’re an old married couple.”

Emma rolled her eyes and turned back to the letter still in her hand. They did sound like an old married couple, not that she wanted to give him the satisfaction of hearing her agreement from her own lips. It must be because of their long standing relationship. He wasn’t just her fiancé, he was her best friend. And had been for years. 

Who would have thought that she’d marry her best friend?

Surely that was a good omen. She looked back at Killian to see him studying her intently.

“What?” she asked.

“Let’s get married.”

“Aren’t we?” she asked, drawing it out as if he’d taken leave of his senses.

“No,” he said, then shaking his head. “I mean, yes. But no, let’s do it today!” 

“Are you mad?” she asked, incredulously.

“Of course not,” he assured her, excitedly. “Let's do it. Today. We’re in Scotland. We don’t need banns.” He knelt before her, his blue eyes pleading with her to agree. “Let’s do it, Emma. Let’s be mad. Brash. Daring.”

“No one will believe it!”

“No one will believe it anyway.” He had a point there. He rose to his feet and took her by the hand. “Come marry me, Emma.”

“Killian…” She didn’t know why she was dragging her feet, other than for appearances sake. Such haste was rather unseemly after all.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Do you want a big lavish ceremony?”

“No,” she answered, quickly and completely honestly. She’d done that already. It didn’t seem appropriate to do it again for her second wedding.

He leaned in, his warm breath tickling the shell of her ear, making her shiver. “Are you willing to risk an eight month baby?”

“Killian…”

“Come, let’s give our child a respectable nine month gestation,” he cajoled, running his nose up and down the line of her neck.

She could hardly think straight when he did that. “Killian,” she said, pushing him back just enough so she could look in his eyes. “You must be aware that I may not - I probably won’t - conceive. It took two years with Liam.”

“I don’t care.”

“Are you sure?” The look she sent him was extremely dubious. “I think you do. You’ve mentioned it several times.” She was afraid of his response. But she couldn’t proceed, not without a clear conscience in this matter.

“Emma,” he began, looking straight into her eyes. The suave seducer was gone, replaced with a sincerity she’d rarely seen in him. “You want a baby. I love you and want you to marry me. So I want to give you the child you desire,” he assured her. He pressed himself against her, his warmth and strength enveloping her and Emma felt her knees give out. “It doesn’t matter to me if you’re barren. Which I certainly hope is not the case. I would…” He paused, looking down at their clasped hands for a moment, his other hand moving to the flatness of her stomach. “I would love to see you grow round with my child.” He looked into her eyes again and she felt her own eyes fill with tears. “But if fate deals us another hand, all I want, all I need, is you.” He pulled her close against himself again. “Come, Emma. Marry me.”

Emma’s heart melted at his words. She couldn’t refuse him. “Yes, Killlian,” she said, nodding. “Yes, I’ll marry you today.”

The joy that filled his eyes at her words quickly turned to mischief. His hand left her torso and crept under her dress, moving steadily higher, drawing circles on the inside of her thigh.

His fingers found her moist heat and her knees buckled a second time. “Yes, oh, yesssss! Killian!” she exclaimed.

After only a few strokes, he suddenly withdrew his hand from under her skirt - a thoroughly indecent moan escaping her lips - but still held her close. It was a good thing. She’d likely collapse at his feet if he moved away from her. His eyes blazed blue fire, and she held onto him with all the strength she possessed.

He looked down at her, looking every inch the suave, debonair earl - a sly, mischievous, seductive smile on his lips. Meanwhile, she likely resembled a banshee.

“If you’re going to finish, you’ll do it as Countess Kilmartin,” he informed her.

“I am Countess Kilmartin!” she cried, indignant.

“You’ll do it as my Countess Kilmartin,” he corrected himself. He smirked at her, waiting for her response. When she didn’t, he continued. “Shall I get your coat?”

She nodded.

“Will you stay here, or accompany me to the hall?”

“I’ll come with you to the hall,” she ground out. His smirk grew wider.

“Eager little thing, aren’t you?” he said as he took her hand and looped it around his arm.

“Just get my coat, damn you,” she murmured under her breath, but he heard her clearly and chuckled, making her irritation with him melt away. He was a rogue and a scoundrel, but he was her rogue and scoundrel and she knew he possessed a heart as true and as honorable as any man she’d ever met. 

She couldn’t wait to be his wife.

~*~*~

Several hours later, Killian stood in front of the door connecting his and Emma’s bedchambers, clad in nothing but a burgundy robe. He couldn’t help but be pleased by the day’s turn of events. Even if he couldn’t quite believe he was here. 

Married to Emma.

She was his wife.

Thank you, Lord Humbert, he thought, for marrying Ruby.

He doubted Emma would have agreed to marry him today if Ruby hadn’t already gotten married off without her knowledge. 

It might have been his goal for weeks, but it wasn’t until he slipped the ancient gold band on Emma’s finger that he had really believed it.

She was his. 

Until death did they part.

“Thank you, Liam,” he murmured. Not for dying. Never for that. But for releasing him of the guilt. He still wasn’t sure what brought it about, but the night after they’d made love in the gardener’s cottage, Killian knew, in his heart of hearts, that Liam would have approved. Liam would have given his blessing and in his more hopeful moods, he rather thought that if Liam had been the one to choose a new husband for Emma, his brother would have chosen him.

Now he was here, facing the door between the earl’s and countess’ bedchambers. And he had every right to be here. 

It was strange. In London, they hadn’t bothered with appearances. They’d both slept in their respective rooms, making sure the door between them stayed firmly locked. But here at Kilmartin, he’d only moved into the earl’s bedchambers today. When Emma had rebuffed his first proposal, he’d made a show of occupying the room furthest from her, no matter that one or the other of them had been sneaking back and forth the entire time. At least they had the appearance of respectability.

But now, that could all be put aside. He reached for the knob but didn’t grasp it just yet. There was something about this moment - on the threshold of his marriage - that demanded reverence. Savoring.

The only thing that might have made it better was if she’d told him she loved him. It was but a small shadow over the joy in his heart. He would never have her say words that weren’t true because she might feel that she somehow owed him. Even if she never loved him the way he loved her, he knew she cared for him far more than most women of the ton did for their husbands. She loved him dearly as a friend, and if something were to happen to him, he knew she would mourn him with her whole heart.

He really couldn’t ask for more.

He might want more, but he already had so much more than he’d ever believed he would have.

Would it feel different now? Would she feel different in his arms as his wife rather than his lover? When he looked upon her face in the morning, would he think she was more breathtakingly beautiful than he had yesterday? When he saw her across a crowded room…

He shook his head. His love for her was making him a sentimental fool. His heart had always skipped a beat when he saw her across a crowded room. Any more than that and the poor organ probably would have crumbled to ash.

He grasped the knob and pushed open the door.

“Emma?”

She stood by the window in a nightgown of forest green silk. The cut was modest, but the material clung to her curves and for a moment, Killian couldn’t breathe.

She turned to him, a soft but somewhat hesitant smile on her face. Not nervous, exactly, but it was clear to him that she was also aware of the difference they now faced.

“We did it,” he said softly, unable to keep the joyful smile off his face.

“I still can’t believe it.”

“Nor can I,” he agreed, reaching her and stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. “But it’s true.”

She grasped his wrist, her eyes fluttering shut. “I…” She shook her head.

“What is it, Emma?”

“It’s… nothing,” she assured him. “Forget it.”

He lifted her chin with his fingers as her eyes opened again until their gazes met. “It’s not nothing, Emma. When it’s you, and when it’s me, it’s never nothing.”

She still grasped his wrist and took a deep breath before speaking. “I… just wanted to say…”

Was it possible? Killian held his breath and waited.

“I’m very glad I married you,” she said, her eyes meeting his again. “It was the right thing to do.”

He exhaled roughly, trying to tamp down his disappointment, hoping she didn’t see it in his eyes. It was more than he ever thought he’d hear from her, but so much less than what he hoped for.

But even still, she was here. In his arms. And that had to count for something.

“I’m glad too,” he whispered before capturing her lips with his own.

It was different. She was his and he was hers. And it was a feeling that spread from his rapidly beating heart to the top of his head and the ends of his fingers and toes. His love for her was all encompassing, consuming him from the inside out. 

“I love you,” he whispered into her throat as he left the sweetness of her lips behind to taste the saltiness of her skin. There was no reason to keep the words to himself now, he realized. She’d already heard them from his lips, and even if she wasn’t inclined to say the same, he couldn’t keep the words inside him any longer.

His hands pushed the gown she wore over her shoulders, until it cascaded in a silken heap to the floor. He followed it until he was on his knees before her, his arms wrapping around her waist, his face buried in the flatness of her belly.

Her hands stroked his shoulders through his dressing gown then wove into the strands of his hair. He pulled back slightly and looked up, meeting her blown pupils, with only a thin ring of green surrounding them, just barely discernible in the low light of the lamps.

“Emma,” he breathed. He had no idea why he had to say her name right now, at this moment. But he did. She was everything. Her name. Her body. Her soul. Nothing was more important. He could stay right here, on his knees before her, until his dying day. And he somehow had to show her that. 

“Emma.”

“Killian,” she said softly. “Make love to me.” 

He rose to his feet, peppering soft and gentle kisses along the way. He lifted her in his arms, a delighted giggle bursting from her, and carried her to the bed. He laid her down gently, the mattress embracing them as they embraced each other.

Emma reached for the sash that held his dressing gown closed, her fingers trembling with need. When the knot wouldn’t cooperate, Killian chuckled and stopped his ministrations to assist her.

She pushed the robe from his body and buried her fingers in the hair of his chest. This wasn’t the first time she’d touched him this way, but it felt different now as his wife. It was no longer forbidden pleasure - stolen moments like a child sneaking a treat - but her right and privilege to physically enjoy her husband.

She sighed in satisfaction, his name a whisper on her breath.

“Killian.”

“Hmmm?” he murmured into her skin, never halting the sweet and tender kisses he was pressing to every inch of skin he could reach. She sank into the mattress. She sank into the pleasure of the delectable things he was doing to her. Whatever it was she wanted to say, floated away as if it had never been there, and she could only moan as Killian found a particularly sensitive spot on the inside of her elbow. 

He continued down her arm, his tongue tracing the veins under her skin, his teeth nipping at her wrist before kissing the center of her palm and sucking each finger into the warm cavern of his mouth, his tongue swirling around each tip before releasing it.

She was on fire, and yet it didn’t blaze out of control. It was a glowing pile of well-banked coals, radiating heat throughout her body. 

She felt cherished. Worshiped. Completely loved. 

And she melted for him.

“Killian, please,” she whispered, writhing beneath him.

“As you wish, my love.” 

~*~*~

~*~*~

She opened her eyes to see him hovering above her, his eyes fixed on hers. The blue almost completely swallowed by his black pupils. She wrapped her legs around him and urged him closer to where she desperately needed him, gasping when he finally entered her.

He moved slowly, needing to savor making love to Emma for the first time as his wife. He never thought he’d have this and the sacred moment of making them one demanded a slow, reverent acknowledgement of the gift that she was. The gift he had never believed would be his.

“Emma… Emma…” he moaned. “I have… I have to…”

“Yes, Killian, please,” she said, her words unsteady, lifting her hips, drawing him in deeper until she didn’t know where he ended and she began.

He withdrew slowly and plunged back into her, making her gasp. Again and again he withdrew, pushing her higher and higher until a cascade of pleasure overcame her, rainbow prisms of light exploding behind her closed eyelids, leaving her shaking in his arms, unable to contain the long, low moan of ecstasy pouring from her lips.

His movements became more frenzied and he cried out her name as he climaxed, a prayer and benediction all in one. He collapsed on top of her and it took a few moments for him to move, but when he tried to roll off of her - afraid of crushing her with his weight - she held him tightly to her.

“No,” she whispered. “Not yet.” It wouldn’t be long before he would have to move in order for her to breathe, but just now, she needed his solidness on top of her to keep her from drifting away. This was a sacred moment between them. This joining together as husband and wife, and she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to that just yet.

He acquiesced to her request for a few moments before he softened and slipped out of her. He settled himself on his side behind her and drew her into his arms until she was lined up to him like a nested spoon. His warmth cocooned her and she drifted off, feeling safe, content, and loved. So loved.

~*~*~

~*~*~

“You look terrible,” she commented two weeks later, as she sat down to breakfast with her husband.

“And good morning to you, too,” Killian returned drily, before turning his attention back to his food.

“I’m not joking,” she said, her brow furrowing in concern. “You look pasty, and you’re not sitting up straight. You need to go back to bed.”

He coughed. And coughed again, the second one wracking his body. “I’m fine.” But his words came out on a wheeze.

“You’re not fine.”

He rolled his eyes. “Married a fortnight and already…”

“If you didn’t want a nagging wife, then you shouldn’t have married me,” Emma interrupted him.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, picking up the Times and proceeding to ignore her.

Very well, she thought. Two can play at that game. She picked up a muffin and tucked into her morning meal.

Until he coughed again.

She cut her eyes to him, but didn’t say anything.

The next time a spasm overtook him, he turned away from her and bent over the arm of his chair just a bit.

“Kil…”

He shot her a ferocious glare of such intensity, she immediately closed her mouth.

She narrowed her eyes at him and he cocked his head in a condescending manner, only for the effect to be ruined with another wracking cough.

“That’s it,” she said, throwing her napkin down on the table. “You are sick, Killian. And you are going back to bed. Now.”

She rose to her feet and grabbed his arm where it rested on the table. He was too weak to resist her and her concern instantly turned to alarm. She called for Smee, who hurried in and, taking immediate stock of the situation, positioned himself on the other side of Killian to help him to his feet.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he gasped, as they led him from the room. “And you’re wrong.”

“Mmhmmm,” she humored him. “And how do you know what I’m thinking?” she asked.

“Open book, darling,” he replied, leaning more on her and sending her heart into overdrive. “It’s not malaria.” His voice was low, almost too low to make out, but somehow she knew exactly what he said.

“And you know this how?” she asked again.

“I just do.”

“Mmhmmm.”

They got him into his chamber, undressed, and into the bed. He was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Emma sat in the plush chair at his bedside, never taking her eyes off of him. It had only been two months since his last attack. And since the previous had been six months before that, did that mean the disease was winning? Emma felt tears fill her eyes. She couldn’t lose him the way she lost Liam. She couldn’t.

~*~*~

Ten hours later, Emma was terrified. Killian’s fever raged, and while he wasn’t flailing, delirious, or incoherent, it was clear that he was very, very ill. During his moments of consciousness, he kept insisting it wasn’t malaria. It didn’t feel like malaria. It was probably just a cold. A very bad cold, he’d finally allowed.

He slept now, snoring lightly, which he insisted he did whenever he was congested, but which she hadn’t been married to him long enough to experience first hand.

She reached out and touched his forehead, and while it was hot, it wasn’t the burning she remembered from his last attack. His lips looked dry, so she spooned some tepid tea into his mouth, hoping the reflex would kick in for him to swallow it while still asleep.

Instead, he choked, spitting it all out. At least there wasn’t enough to drench the bedclothes, she thought.

“What the devil are you trying to do?” he sputtered.

“I was trying to give you something to drink!” she replied, indignant. “You looked thirsty.”

“If I’m thirsty, I will tell you,” he grumbled.

She sat down, staring at him petulantly as he squirmed around, punching his pillows, trying to get comfortable. 

“It’s not like I have much experience nursing,” she said, once he was settled. He grunted in reply. She raised her eyebrows at him, never looking away, even as he studiously kept his eyes away from her. “You wouldn’t be thirsty now, would you?” she asked, mildly.

“Perhaps just a bit,” he ground out.

She handed him the cup of tea and he downed it in a single swallow.

“Would you like another cup?”

He shook his head. “If I do, I shall have to p…” he cut himself off and cleared his throat, impatiently. “Sorry,” he apologized.

She waved his words away. “I have three brothers,” she reminded him. “Would you like me to fetch you the chamber pot?”

“I can do it myself,” he grumbled.

She shut her mouth. There was no use arguing with him when he was like this. He’d figure it out soon enough when he stood from the bed and collapsed right back into it.

“You’re quite feverish,” she said softly.

“It’s not malaria,” he said.

“I didn’t say it was.”

“You were thinking it.”

She sighed and took a deep breath. “What happens if it is malaria?”

“It isn’t,” he insisted.

“But what if it is?” She wouldn’t be deterred on this. She had to have an answer.

He turned toward her and looked her straight in the eye. “It. Isn’t,” he growled, through clenched teeth. He held her gaze for several seconds and then laid down and turned away from her.

She had her answer.

She rose to her feet so quickly, all the blood rushed from her head, making her sway for a moment.

“I’m going for a walk,” she informed him when she was more steady. “Just until the sun sets. I’ll be back soon.” 

He didn’t speak, but shrugged his shoulders under the covers.

She ran.

~*~*~

The air was misty, the clouds threatening rain, so she headed toward the gazebo. It was open to the elements, but the roof would keep her at least somewhat dry if the sky did decide to open up.

By the time she got there, she could hardly breathe. Not from the exertion, but from struggling to keep her tears at bay. Once she was safely contained inside, she stopped trying.

Each sob was huge. Gasping. Coming from the depths of her lungs. From her very being.

Killian might be dying. 

For all she knew, he was dying. And she’d be a widow twice over.

It’d nearly killed her before. She didn’t think she could survive it a second time.

It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair! She couldn’t lose her second husband when so many women of the ton got to hold onto the same one for a lifetime. And they didn’t even love their husbands the way she did.

Emma’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. 

She loved him. 

Killian? 

She loved Killian?

She closed her eyes - picturing his eyes, his face, his smile. Remembering his kiss, the way he touched her.

And she suddenly realized why everything felt so different between them. It wasn’t the fact that they were married, as she’d originally thought. It wasn’t because he was her husband, that she wore his ring on her finger.

It was because she loved him.

This thing between them wasn’t just passion. And it wasn’t wicked or forbidden. 

It was love. 

And it was glorious.

She loved Killian, not as a friend, but as her husband and her lover. She loved him with the same strength and intensity that she’d loved Liam. It was different, of course. They were different men. But the love she had for him was the love of a woman for a man and by God, she did not want him to die.

She rose to her feet and walked to the edge of the gazebo, looking up at the sky.

“You can’t do this to me!” she yelled. A fat drop of rain fell and landed on the bridge of her nose.

“Oh, no, You don’t!” she cried. Three more drops in quick succession. “Damn,” she whispered, wiping away the moisture on her face. “Sorry,” she mumbled at the sky again. She sat back down as the rain poured. Perhaps she’d let the rain disguise her own tears as well.

~*~*~

Killian opened his eyes, surprised to see that it was morning. His drapes were still firmly shut against the light, but there was a definite brightness on the rug below the window that could only be the sun. He must have been really tired.

He tried to sit up, but flopped back immediately, absolutely no strength in him to do so. Damn, he felt like death. Not the greatest comparison under the circumstances. But he could think of nothing else that really captured the ache through his entire body. The thought of sitting up was enough to make him groan in misery.

He touched his forehead, but couldn’t tell if he was still feverish. He just knew that he was covered in sweat and desperately needed a bath.

A soft sound at the door drew his attention. Emma came through carrying a tray with a small bowl and cup of tea. She wore no shoes on her feet, obviously trying to not disturb him, but when she came to the bed, she finally looked up to see him staring at her.

“Killian! You’re awake.”

He nodded. “What time is it?”

“Half eight. Not terribly late, really, except that you’ve been asleep since before the supper hour last night. How are you feeling? Are you hungry?”

“Like hell, and no. Thank you.” He didn’t mean to be short with her, but he really didn’t have the energy to engage in any meaningful conversation at the moment.

She smiled gently at him. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Please.”

She picked up the bowl from the tray and brought it to his lips. He sipped slowly, the lukewarm broth sliding down his throat. He nodded after a few swallows and lay back on the pillows.

“Do you have a fever?” she asked, her eyes filled with trepidation, as if she wanted his answer, but was afraid to hear it.

He tried to summon his devil-may-care smile, but failed miserably. “I’ve no clue.”

She reached out and touched the skin of his forehead. She jerked away quickly and leaned forward to press her lips to the skin she’d just touched.

“Emma?” he asked.

“You’re hot,” she breathed, her eyes wide in wonder. “You’re hot, Killian! You still have a fever!”

He could do nothing but blink at her.

“Don’t you see?” she asked, excitedly, “If you still have a fever, then it can’t be malaria!”

It took a moment for her words to sink in. And when they did, he almost didn’t believe it. But she was right! The malarial fevers always disappeared by morning. He may have insisted to her yesterday that it wasn’t malaria, but in truth, he hadn’t been so sure.

“It’s not malaria,” he breathed.

“You’re not going to die,” she whispered.

He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Did you really think I would? If there’s one thing I’m good at, Emma, it’s surviving.”

Her face fell in exasperation as she grabbed a napkin off the tray, dabbing at her eyes with it.

“Oh, you are such a man,” she said with a scowl.

He could do nothing but raise his eyebrows at that.

“You should know…” She broke herself off, shaking her head. “No. Not yet. Soon, but not yet.” She moved quickly toward the door. “I have to do something. I’ll be back soon. Don’t go anywhere.”

And she was gone, shutting the door behind her.

~*~*~

A quarter of an hour later, Killian was feeling remarkably better. Not well by any stretch of the imagination, but strong enough to get out of bed and call for Smee to have someone change the sheets of the bed. 

He sat in the leather chair near his bed and looked out the window as he waited. Across the lawn, he could see Emma, bundled up in her coat and carrying something in her hand, but she was too far away for him to see exactly what it was.

When Smee arrived and he asked if he knew where Lady Kilmartin was going, he blessed the efficiency of the servants' gossip chain.

“She did not share with me where she was going, Sir, but she did ask the gardener for a clutch of peonies.”

Peonies. Liam’s favorite flower. They’d been the centerpiece of her wedding bouquet. It was almost appalling that he still remembered that all these years later, but though he’d gotten completely and blindingly drunk after Liam and Emma had left the party, he remembered the ceremony itself in excruciating detail.

He knew where Emma was going.

He’d been there only once since returning to Kilmartin. He’d gone alone, after that stunning revelation in his bedchamber when he suddenly realized Liam would have wanted him to marry Emma. He could almost imagine his brother sitting up there getting a good laugh out of the whole kerfuffle.

Did Emma realize…? Or was she still riddled with guilt?

He rose from his chair. He knew guilt. How it ate at your heart, tore at your soul. He knew the pain. How it sat like stones in one's belly. He wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But especially not on Emma.

She might not love him, she might not ever love him. But she was happier now than she was before they married, he’d bet his life on it. 

Liam would have wanted her to be happy, to love again and to be loved, and Killian would be damned if she felt any shame or guilt over that happiness. He pulled clothes out of his dresser. He had to go to her. It might half kill him to get to the churchyard, but he had to make sure she knew she was free to be happy.

He could live without her love, but he couldn’t live without her happiness.

~*~*~

Emma sat down on the small blanket she’d brought, the green and gold of the Jones plaid making her smile wistfully.

“Hello, Liam,” she said, carefully arranging the peonies at the bottom of Liam’s headstone. She took a deep breath and looked over the fence surrounding the small graveyard. Liam’s grave was a simple affair, but that was what he would have wanted. Here in the corner of the churchyard, closest to his beloved Kilmartin, his favorite place in the world. So that’s what she’d given him.

“It’s been raining for weeks,” she said softly. “I’m glad to finally see the sun. I know you wouldn’t have minded, but I’ve missed it.” She paused for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. “I… I had a reason for coming here today, Liam. And now it comes to it, I’m having difficulty getting the words out. Something’s happened… I’m not quite sure how it happened…” She looked up to the sky, looking for some divine sign, but there was nothing. Nothing but the gentle breeze. “Maybe I shouldn’t have felt it at all. I don’t know. Or maybe I should have and I just thought I shouldn’t. But either way, it happened…” She chuckled lightly. “I suppose you might have guessed what happened. And who it happened with… Can you imagine?”

And then something truly extraordinary happened. It might have been accompanied by an earthquake of epic proportions, but instead, it felt like something settled inside her. Like the puzzle piece that would complete her, slipping into place for the first time.

She knew, she truly knew, that Liam wouldn’t have only imagined it, he would have wanted it. 

He would have wanted her to marry Killian. 

He would have wanted her to marry anyone she fell in love with, but she thought he’d be rather pleased that it was with Killian.

They were his two favorite people in the world, herself and his brother, and Liam would know they would love and cherish each other. They’d make each other happy.

“I love him, Liam,” she breathed, realizing it was the first time she’d said it out loud. “I love him so much.” Tears filled her eyes and she reached out, running her fingers along the headstone. “I never thought… I truly didn’t think I’d ever fall in love again. How could I? I loved you! I still love you! And finding a love like that again… it was impossible to imagine!” A soft smile touched her lips. “But it did happen. And it happened with Killian. I love him so much, Liam. And I can’t live without him. Thinking that he might be dying… I couldn’t bear it and I knew it was because I love him and I needed you to know. I needed to tell you…” 

A sound from behind her made her turn, but before her eyes landed on him, she knew who was there. She could feel him.

“Killian,” she breathed. He was pale, and weak, and leaning against a tree for support, but to her, he looked perfect.

“Emma.”

She rose to her feet, her eyes never leaving his. “Did you hear me?”

“I love you,” he said hoarsely, tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

“But did you hear me?” she asked again.

He nodded.

The distance between them disappeared. His arms wrapped around her and she buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking his shirt, but she couldn’t care less. She only needed his warmth enveloping her.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she repeated through her tears. She looked up at him to see the tears swimming in his cerulean gaze, a single one tracking down his cheek.

“I have no idea what I did to deserve you,” he murmured, stroking her cheek.

She laughed, just a short giggle, but full of joy nonetheless. “You didn’t have to do anything. You simply had to be.”

He took her hands in his and kissed the center of each palm. He’d tried so hard to convince himself that he didn’t need her love, that having her as his wife was enough, but now that she’d said it, now that she felt it, he knew better.

He couldn’t live without her. 

This was bliss.

This was heaven.

This was love. True Love.

“For the rest of my life,” he vowed. “I will love you. I will fight for you. I will cherish you. To the end of the world, or time.”

She nodded. “Let’s go home.”

And as he looked back at Liam’s grave, he imagined he could see his brother, a smile on his face, his hand raised in blessing.

Killian nodded and allowed his wife to lead him home.

~*~*~

One Year Later

Ruth Nolan sat in her drawing room, working on a piece of embroidery, her face lifting every few minutes to look out the front windows of Number 5. It seemed like forever before she could see the Kilmartin carriage turning onto Bruton St.

She laid her project aside and rose quickly, calling for the butler. Opening the front door, she hurried down the steps to greet her… She came to a halt halfway down, fully realizing that this was the first time since Emma and Killian had returned to Scotland a year ago after Will and Belle were married that she’d seen them, and that Killian was no longer Emma’s brother-in-law, but her husband. And that made Killian her son. 

In-law. 

He stood on the curb outside the carriage, holding his hand toward the door. Ruth continued down the steps and he turned his handsome face toward her, mischief in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.

“Killian,” she beamed proudly, so happy to see him. He took her outstretched hand and brushed his lips across her knuckles. She clucked her tongue at him in annoyance and embraced him instead. 

“Ruth,” he said, a note of chastisement in his voice.

“Ah, ah, ah. You are my son now,” she interrupted smoothly, “whom I haven’t seen in a year, and I will greet you as I would any of my other sons.”

His smile widened and became genuine as she released him. “Very well,” he agreed before turning to the door of the carriage again.

From within, Ruth could hear a familiar sound, though it had been quite some time since she’d heard it in person. Soft cooing followed by a gurgle. 

Ruth’s jaw dropped open as she turned stunned and disbelieving eyes on Killian.

“Ruth, may I present, Lady Kilmartin and our son, William Killian Martin Robert Jones.” Emma appeared in the door of the carriage and took Killian’s hand, her opposite arm filled with a precious bundle that Ruth didn’t hesitate to take into her own arms.

Too overcome with joy to feel even the slightest aggravation over being kept in the dark about Emma’s pregnancy, Ruth looked down into the beautiful sky blue eyes of her newest grandchild. 

“Oh, my sweet William,” she began in a lilting sing-song voice.

“Liam,” Emma interrupted gently.

“Liam,” Ruth agreed, her gaze never wavering as she turned and began climbing the steps back into the house. “I am your grandmama,” she continued. “The first thing we must do is introduce you to your family, don’t you think?”

Behind her, she could hear Killian chuckle. “Do you think we will see him again this entire visit?” he asked.

“Not likely,” Emma replied.

“Of course not,” Ruth called back. “Nolan, Locksley, and now Jones babies all love their grandmamas. Besides, it will give you more time to yourselves to work on giving this precious lad a baby sister.”

Which is exactly what they did. 

And when the family arrived in London the following spring, it was to introduce and christen Hope Ruth Alice Jones.

The End

~*~*~

Thank you all again for reading. This was a hard one to write and post and so I truly cannot tell y'all how much it means to me that you joined me for this journey! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!!

[sutekinyce]

Reference: Chapter 4 of the book, The Price of Salt (Carol, 2015 Movie)

I changed the dialogue and we are Therese's POV (Reader), but this is from the original book itself that I have in my small library in my room :>

------

"What is your name?" you asked. "Your first name?" "My name? Alcina. Please don't ever call me Alchina."

"Please don't ever call me Thereese," you said, pronouncing the th. "How do you like it pronounced? Therese?" "Yes. The way you do," you answered.

Alcina pronounced your name in the French way, Terez. You were used to a dozen variations, and sometimes you yourself pronounced it differently. You liked the way Alcina pronounced it, and you liked her lips saying it. An indefinite longing, that you had been only vaguely conscious of at times before, became now recognizable wish. It was so absurd, so embarrassing a desire, that you thrust it from your mind.

-------

AAAAAA FINALLY IT'S DONE!~ MY HEART IS SO HAPPY AFTER PLANNING ON MAKING THIS FOR SOOOOO LOOONGG AGO-

I love the movie so much and the original book as well no matter how many times I go back for it! This scene will forever be in my heart and soul Q w Q

[melanirana]

Warning! Spoilers for Chapter 14 of Cryptid Sighting

Sooooo~

Raptor Cryptid. 

I FUCKING LOVE THEM/HER AND I DONT KNOW WHY!? like a Cryptid that is basically a Dinosaur?! Uhh hell yeah! @naffeclipse what have you done to me? 

the moment i got home i started drawing. Cryptid sighting out here saving me from art block. Her enterance, the threat, the looks, the sass. Yes. 

I gave them a more of a shrink wrap tratment to make the look more Monsters and unkany. Let the bones show. 

Also. whiel drawing them they gave me strong Indo-Raptor vibes, They both are professional human taste tester. I dont know if their bassed on the indo but either way i realy happy with the design. 

They are best friends your honor and they will commit war crimes. 

also the scene where Sun is staring down the toung-eater like they’re a miss behaving sibling about to have a fight *muha* Gold. 

[theodorequartz]

[ His Companion ] Hazbin Hotel Various x Male Reader

Chapter 5: The Three Vee's and The Hazbin Hotel

You smiled at them and bowed respectfully. Of course, as Vox's assistant, you get to meet the rest of the Vee's. They were certainly fond of you. You were friendly, obedient, respectful and knows not to cross the line. You give them lots of good ideas in each of their business too.

" Lord Val, Lady Velvet. It's nice to see the both of you again. It's an honor to be in your presence once more." You said smiling softly.

Valentino's smirk widened and Velvet chuckled.

" Why, of course babe~ you're always such fun with around." The moth overlord said as he snaked his upper right hand to your shoulder. You only replied with a smile.

The meeting between the Vee's started and continued on with you adding marvelous ideas and tricks as always. You were always such a gem for them. Keeping polite and respectful while also knowing how to step in respectfully, never disagreeing with their choices but also giving your view and opinions on things even when it clashes theirs.

You were a valuable worker of the Three Vee's, you're almost considered the fourth member of the Vee's if it weren't for your lack of power.

You almost let out a chuckle. Almost.

Though you were sure that you could hear your lord's hysterical laugh in your mind.

The fluttering in your heart increased.

________

Returning home, you encountered a note in the coffee table your lord has in his--both of your room.

...

Ah.. it's time.

You smiled as you changed your outfit to a much more... Formal and gentle. After all, you gotta make a good impression for your lord's new source of entertainment.

You then walked out to your front door.. to arrive exactly at the front door of the hotel. The Hazbin hotel to be exact.

You kept your gentle smile as you knocked softly at the door.

The commotion seems to cease at the other side of the door and silence followed as if registering wether they really heard the knock or not. It made you chuckle silently.

You then raised your hand to knock again but was cut off as someone opened the door abruptly. You blinked in surprise and looked down to see a blonde demon holding the door open. You smiled at her and introduced yourself.

" Greetings, princess of hell. My name is M/n. You can call me as you prefer. Would it be alright to step in?"

At your polite and gentle words she immediately snapped out of her daze and beamed, enthusiastically welcoming you in. You followed her in with a smile.

" Sooooo... What brings you here at the Happy --Ahem. Hazbin hotel? I mean- I'm really happy that someone decided to come here in their own! But well-"

" It's okay, Charlie is it?"

" Yes! That's me! Hehe.."

" Of course, I owe you an explanation. I have witnessed the news about you making a project to rehabilitate demons, and I must say... I found it an idiotic idea."

At your words, she hang her shoulders down to her sides, a lady in gray growling in the background seemingly getting ready to stab you to death.

" Yet.. the passion you showed for this project. The determination that flares in your eyes and the care you show for your people. It amazes me."

Charlie looked up at you in surprise and the lady immediately stopped her murderous advance in bewilderment of your words.

" You see something in these sinners that holds light... Rehabilitation... It's deemed as laughable here in hell.. it's never done before... But there's always a first time, are there not? "

Your words brought tears of hope through her eyes. She.. she really inspired someone! She made someone really believe!

" The chances of failure of this project would be 99.9% , but it's not zero. "

You added.

" You made me believe... But I don't see myself as a redeemable demon... Would you let me help you? "

She let out a sob and embraced you tightly. The lady put down her spear and let out a smile. Charlie repeatedly thanked you whilst hugging you tightly. You only smiled and patted her head and embraced her back with your other arm.

" Oh! Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!! "

You laughed at her repeated words of gratitude.

" Well, at least someone's really interested to help. " The lady said.

You smiled politely at her. Hmmm... An angel.. looks like this folks are much more interesting than you thought.

" Apologies, I haven't asked for your name. "

You said as you gently unwrapped your hand around Charlie and carefully pries her off you and gave her a handkerchief for her tears which she accepted.

" Vaggie. One of the staff of these hotel. " She replied, her hand on her hip.

" She's my girlfriend! " Charlie added as she went to Vaggie to hug her. Vaggie blushed at this.

Your smile widened slightly.

" Greetings Vaggie, my name is M/n. "

She nodded.

" Welcome. "

[ Sorry for the short chapter! And for the late update 😞 it's been real busy in school as we are rushing with the projects. Philippines is a disaster bruhh😭😭 I'm dying from heat!]

[blueberrykenn]

Kennie's Top 10 Yearly Fic Recommendations

Okay so this is the 2nd year of me doing this (but this year I wont delete) butttt I show my top 10 fic and authors for each member/group( some members of bts repeat due to the amount of poly fics I read and its what I mainly read) (A handful of these have smut so heres your warning)

(I would also love to be your guys friends as every single one of you seems absolutely amazing)

LETS GET STARTED

10. @guqwrvte Make it Three (Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung)

Oh where do I start with this fic I found it in the spring looking for a Soulmate fic and oh boy I was in for a ride THREE SOULMATES?! ummm YES and the arcade chapter was ABSOULELY AMAZING! I hope you're doing well Author!! as this fic hasn't been updated in a while

9. @yonkimint Without You (Yoongi with a side of Hoseok or "Jay")

OHHHH BOY When I wanted a love triangle I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED I found this fic in April looking for angst and ANGST I GOT without spoiling it its a Pregnancy/ Single Mom AU and one of the best ones Ive read in a longgggg time

8. @guksthighs Bloom (Yoongi)

OH BOY This is a recent one actually. This one shot was made SIX YEARS AGO?! OMG Hanahaki AUs are one of my favorites angst type of fics so when I read this I literally sobbed like a baby I cant say much else without spoiling it

7. @kimnjss cyberslut (Yoongi), less of you/VINTAGE (Jimin), Strawberry Kisses(Jungkook)

MISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVES SINCE 2019 like when I first read beside you YESS I reread Cyberslut and HAD to include it but reading less of you in June as I was dealing with my own breakup it was a tear jerker towards the end of less of you, for me I wont spoil it but there a plot twist that I was not expecting towards the end of the sequel, Vintage. BUT STRAWBERRY KISSES OH MY GAHD I read that on my way home in August even though its a SMUTTY I enjoyed it a lot and the FLUFF I think some people looked at me crazy when I took the bus home that day

6. @skazoo if you tell me about yourself( Stray Kids' Felix)

Okay here me out! Demon Slayer. Its one of my favorite manga and anime series and with CHANBIN as a hashira UMMM YES ynand chanbin are literally Genya and Sanemi if Genya was a girl and not YK (demon slayer spoiler!!) eating demons, but this 2 parter was ABSOULTELY AMAZING

5. @ugh-yoongi a word from our sponsors (Namjoon)

How do you get a idoit podcasters to not realize they have feelings but read smut YOU GET THESE TWO MFERS This one shot was sooooooo good!! like I read a lot of smut but this? TOP TEIR OF ONESHOTS OF 2023

4. @sopebubbles Bulletproof Heart (2Seok)

THIS ROLLERCOASTER If I had to describe my childhood in fanfictions this one would be one (check #1 for the other) I wont say why because spoilers but this angst was OMG THE YOONGI HATE WAS UNREAL NOT MY YOONGLES but I loved it soooooooo much

3.@jihoonotes Yearning(SVT's Woozi)

Lee Jihoon is literally my ult bias. Do I need to say more? ITS WORTH THE READ

2. @solemnreads Way Back Home(Jungkook)

THIS FIC HAD ME FUCKING EVERYWHERE with the twins to CEO Kook THE JEALOUSLY I LOVE IT by far the best exes to lovers fic I read this year

before I tell yall #1 I wanna give an honorable mention to @purpleyoonn they would be on the main list if I was done reading you complete us BUTTTT RED STRING is amazing even though there only 2 parts so far

Okay Okay this should be expected if you been here for a bit

1.@theharrowing Literally anything they write but mainly Rose Tinted Obsessions and Collateral

Boy Blue and Collateral Taehyungs literally Remained me of In between Taehyung so much that I got inspired to write in between again everything I read from them is Absolutely Amazing, Top Tier just Yes DARK FICS are literally my go to so reading them had me sooooo happy and wanting more