#having antihistamines won't hurt

[meditating-dog-lover]

Yay

My DIM supplement arrived.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Okay, so few days ago I tried taking vitamin c right? Because I thought "well this could all be connective tissue, yeah? and I have been taking a multi vitamin but if the multivitamin let my body start using up more vitamin c than it actually contains, maybe this could still be scurvy?????" For a whole 2 hours I was convinced I would recover practically overnight like that time I figured out I probably had gout and changed what I was eating.

It got worse. Vitamin c supports your immune system and my immune system is the damn problem. I woke up in so much pain.

There's no symptoms left that aren't explained wholly by really severe dermatomayositis, including the sore throat, muscle weakness, trouble swallowing and fucky feeling in my lung.

So I have been back on Loratadine twice a day with occasional benydril [low dosage] when the symtpoms get real bad and I have started re-incorporating aspirin because my liver seems to be doing fine. Now that the rash on my biceps is clearing up and my body isn't processing so much spilled blood, my liver seems to be doing just fine with stupid dosages of antihistamines and anti inflammatories.

I have also started eating turmeric again. I stopped because I suspect curcumin is processed through the same metabolic pathways -or what have you- as bilirubin and I am slow to process that one thing in particular, so I didn't want to add to the problem, but turmeric is great for reducing subtle swelling and I think not metabolizing it as fast might be -why- I can eat a normal amount of turmeric and have my body act like I ate a "therapeutic dose" of it [without risk of lead poisoning]. I would love to confirm this theory but google is garbage now and I haven't been able to confirm they are metabolized the same way.

And on the bright side if the underlying issue is cancer, the turmeric won't hurt that problem.

I am feeling a little better today, especially compared to yesterday. I can't tell how much of it is re-adding medications or staying more still today or just getting used to the pain, but I *THINK* I might be starting to heal and might be getting the attack under control.

My next priority, when I can walk again, is finding a new doctor. I'm going to look around online for reviews and actually try to pick one out this time for myself, and I will try to make sure they are up on trans rights and such.

As much as I would like to transition in the direction of gender neutral for dysphoria or social reasons, testosterone would also help the issue of heavy menstrual bleeding and would also subtly suppress my immune system without actually taking something that would suppress it enough to cause problems. Testosterone may very well help almost all of my health issues in addition to the whole gender thing, but my last family doctor was afraid of anything trans related and thought it was too scary to engage with.

Like they keep trying to say my IUD is good for another 5 years but I am starting to have periods again already and I bleed every time I have a strong orgasm and they won't address it except to tell me the iud is fine. Testosterone would fucking fix that now wouldn't it?

[shwoo]

I was planning to be over the covid days ago, but my stupid body isn't cooperating. it's definitely improving day by time, but it's not gone yet, and I probably overdid it going to the shops today.

I want to edit the new Bugsnax wiki... I mean, I have been, but I want to edit it more. I should probably not be doing that after 10pm like I have been, though. If I do certain things after 10:10, I spoil my sleep for some reason, and it's hard to tell what will and what won't do that. So I probably shouldn't be pushing my luck while also sick.

But I'm definitely feeling a lot better, and my heart rate has been going down again. Soon I can focus on my mystery illness again! And getting more ADHD medication because my prescription expired and the app it's saved on didn't mention that. The pharmacist said it should be on the label, but I just checked and that information isn't there. It just says "Script Expires" and then the next line is just my name.

Still, the app does give the date the prescription was written, so if it always expires after six months, I can just figure out the expiry that way, now that I know it won't tell you if it is expired.

Also, the shortage of that antihistamine the doctor suggested I take is almost over for now, so I should be able to check that out soon. I just know that the H2 receptor regulates gastrointestinal motility? I don't know if it tells it to stop or tells it to go, which is important because it needs all the go it can get right now.

Also, I'm very glad I stocked up on electrolyte fluid before I got covid, because I've been waking up with such dry lips that the feeling stops me from getting back to sleep. I'm also glad I've figured out how to stop my teeth from hurting as much when I drink a lot of it. I guess my immune system really needs those electrolytes? Or something. The doctor can't tell me why water doesn't work, and I don't know what's going on either.

[ronanceisintheair]

i have. more werewoof robbie with allergies (kinda)

AHDKSKS!! RJ. My birb. My devil.

Poor Robbie. They just want to go outside, they just want to get some fresh air and maybe chase a few squirrels up trees.

But the pollen count has been so devastatingly high. But the squirrels. The squirrels! A half hour or so won't hurt?

"Please Nance can we go play outside? Just for a little while," and there's no way Nancy is saying no to those eyes or that tone soaking with weaponized self pity.

"Okay but only for a little while pup," Nancy takes Robin's cheeks in her hands, pressing their foreheads together, "just let me get your pills from the bathroom," she kisses their lips before leaving Robin alone in the living room.

Nancy can hear Robin's soft growls before she even reaches the bathroom. Excitement clearly getting the best of her partner. She let's out a soft huff; it's going to be a long next couple of hours.

Nance grabs the bottle of antihistamines before making her way to the back porch. Robin is already in her own world; digging a fresh hole in their backyard.

For a moment there's a gentle look of affection and love painted on Nancy's face. Robin looks so carefree. But the moment is fleeting and the bottle of antihistamines is practically buzzing in Nancy's grip.

(Robin definitely ends up caked in dirt and there's no way Nance is letting them back in the house like that. Cue another bath in the kiddie pool)

[the2amrevolution]

Learning that something that has affected my self confidence and body image could be part of why I've been having sleep apnea, which means it's possible that having it corrected, which I assumed would be a cosmetic surgery pipe-dream, might be possible to have health insurance actually cover.

It wouldn't be an easy surgery. Its intense even for otherwise healthy people, but it has a high success and low regret rate, and nonsurgical options wouldn't really work for me.

The nonsurgical options would be metal braces with certain types of headgear. They work, but my teeth aren't sound enough for metal braces. A lot of them are 25-75% filling/resin bonding due to damage from my orthodontist treatment as a teen and ADHD. I can do aligners, but the aligners have limits on what they can correct. Surgical treatment combined with aligners would be my best options.

Homestly, my biggest worry with anything surgical isn't even about the surgery itself or healing or how much harder i will be affected by diverting energy to healing - its my reflex/brainstem myoclonus when I come out of sedation. I repeatedly, uncontrollably fling my body to the left into "startle reflex posture," and it decreases in severity over time following the reverse of the startle reflex cascade. That means that the last part of me to stop experiencing myoclonus is my neck and jaw.

Not great when you're talking about having orthognathic surgery.

(No, restraints would not solve it, they would actually more likely make me hurt myself because it is not voluntary movement. Restraints only work when the action is voluntary. I have to have my IV line detached before they start and then reattached when my arms are calmer or the line will get ripped out. I need the bed padded with a bunch of pillows so I dont slam against the rails, and I need a person on my left to help keep me from moving to far in that direction. A person can provide support without restraining. Even chest strap style restraints would result in injury because I would put so much force against them I'd bruise myself and possibly dislocate ribs.)

If we knew why I have this reaction to coming out of sedation (while under sedation I have no issues), then we could look into ways to reduce it. My best guess is something MCAS related, so IV ascorbic acid and other antihistamines might help, but we really don't know. Other triggers of my reflex myoclonus are heat, anxiety, strobe lights/flickering, and actually being startled by things like sonic booms, thunder, dog barks, etc.

There is, thankfully, also a much less intense surgery that will likely be recommended for me to reduce my apnea, which is nasal turbinate reduction, which would give the opportunity to test adding ascorbic acid and other antihistamines to my IV cocktail starting right before they reverse sedation. If my reaction is to the agent used to reverse sedation rather than the physiological processes of coming out of sedation, then bringing me out more slowly by allowing me to simply metabolise the sedative may also be an option.

Of course, all of this also requires a surgery and anesthesia team that are willing to listen to what I have to say and also believe me. Otherwise I'll tell them, they'll ignore me, and then they'll have the "oh shit we fucked up" look they've had in the past when they didn't listen and I had my reaction.

There is also the possibility that I won't have this reaction at all from general anesthesia (both surgeries are performed under general anesthesia with intubation). I had no abnormal reactions to anesthesia from my wisdom teeth extraction or gallbladder surgery. The myoclonus has occured with another oral surgery and gastrointestinal diagnostic procedures that were performed under conscious sedation (though I have no memory from either, which is typical).

[interstellar-lamb]

Frustrated post

I know this won't appeal to everyone but I'm desperate to lose my excess weight. I miss feeling light and nimble and I hurt when I sleep and it sucks to sweat this much. I'm 20kg overweight and I hate it. No fat shaming, just sensory misery. I don't know how others cope. I don't have mental space to watch what I eat and my antihistamines make me ravenous and I'm always fcking tired and I'm so bloody fcking sick of it. And of being sick every 2 weeks bc someone sent their fcking kid to school with the sniffles

Anyway

[risenwraith]

#61 First session.

This is the order of the day…

1. Take antihistamine - you'll do this for the next six days too.

2. Pack ‘flight bag’ with ID, hoodie, fluffy socks, snacks, juice, book, phone filled with audiobooks and games, and morale-lifting item of you choice. (I took the scarf.) Ensure you are wearing a ‘port access friendly’ top.

3. Numb port entry point with special cream and cover with a plaster half an hour before chemo appointment.

4. At hospital, get blood pressure, heart rate, blood oxygenation, temperature and weight checked and recorded.

5. Sit in a very large and plump poofy chair that is capable of extending and reclining in strange ways.

6. Have your port cleaned and the IV needle inserted - it won't hurt. Have it hooked up to a saline drip and steroids. Sit for twenty minutes attached via IV to a machine that says, ‘vrrr vrrr vrrr vrrrrrrr – pokk - vrrr vrrr vrrr vrrrrrrr -pokk - vrrr vrrr…’ for twenty minutes at which point the machine screams ‘BEEP’ until a nurse calms it down.

7. Time for the first chemo dose which will take an hour to drip in, vrrr-vrrr-pokking all the while. When that’s finished it’s about time for a bathroom break or to grab a snack. Then it’s chemo dose two and sitting for an hour again. (I got fidgety and bored during the second dose and ended up sitting cross-legged with a rainbow scarf pooled in my lap, eating carrot sticks and reading my book or staring out the window at the jungle fowl in the garden. It’s Hawai’i – wild chickens everywhere.)

8. When the machine has screamed, then the port is rinsed out to clear the dregs and a splash of blood-thinner is added to ensure the port lines don’t have any clots.

9. Finally, all the IV lines are disconnected, the needle removed and a plaster stuck over your port. From needle-in to needle-out is roughly two and a half hours, depending how busy the nurses are. Hurrah, at last, you are freeeee! 

10. The following day, 24hours after your chemo session ended, you will go back to the oncology unit to be given an injection in your shoulder that will beef up you bone marrow (haha) and help it keep your cell counts and platelets etc at the right levels.

At this point you will probably still feel fine thanks to the steroids you were given. Now you have the next eighteen days to see how your body reacts to all that before it starts all over again….

[five-sparrows-two-pennies]

antihistamines & this broken side of life

23 September 2024

There are three types of people who get up before 6:30am on a public holiday: 1. The disciplined, who have trained themselves to do so. 2. The excited 10-year-olds, eager to start their birthday. 3. The too-sick-to-sleep, who know that lying there for any longer won't give them the sleep they long for. Never would I have anticipated that I'd fall into good old Category #3. I have to admit: though I never put such thoughts into words, I know a part of me was always a bit pleased that my hay fever was never bad enough to need to take antihistamines - I eat fairly healthy, exercise regularly, and sleep well. I look after my body, and those who do seem to have less severe symptoms. And I never gave much empathy for the people who did suffer from hay fever - after all, it wasn't like they were actually sick, or that their bodies were actually fighting some real pathogen. I gotta say, it hurt when I was shoved off my high horse. On Saturday, I woke up at 12:30am to a screaming headache. On Sunday, I woke up in the middle of the night once more, feeling like my throat was on fire. When I finally crawled out of bed, I was coughing over the sink so much, I was scared I'd throw up. This morning, seeing my clock read 2:30am, my throat somehow worse than the day before, voice hoarse, coughs racking my chest, and trying to fall back asleep while sitting upright with my back against the wall, I assure you: any ounce of pride I previously had was well and truly gone. I never imagined I'd be counting down the hours until I could take the next antihistamine. I wish I could be outside, sunshine on my skin, plans not cancelled. But hey, even though I didn't sleep all that well, at least I'm not as fatigued as I was those first few days of hay fever. And I know that there are many suffering much worse for much longer. So, I find myself at a familiar crossroad: I can sit around feeling sorry for myself, or I can make the most of this broken side of life.

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E9 (part 5)

All Apologies

'She's just playing her game' Jane is playing chess while trying to make Beard jealous. Girl, don't mess with him like this.

The way Beard looks at Ted, it's like he's a wounded puppy. It's kind of heartbreaking.

As much as Ted doesn't want to hurt Roy by benching him, or measure the success of the team by wins and losses, he has to. That's his job. With college football the stakes were low. They weren't pro athletes getting paid a shit load of money and sponsorship deals. They were college kids getting their education. At Richmond, he is dealing with people's professional careers. This is their full time job. It matters to them, it matters to the whole club if they win or lose, and if they get relegated. It has massive repercussions. And that needs to be considered before doing what Roy wants. Ted needs to put the whole club first before Roy. To quote Star Trek: 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.'

Beard needed to give Ted this wake up call. It's nice that Ted doesn't want to hurt Roy and give him a chance after the season, but Ted needs to face that facts that his way of thinking is not necessarily the right way for this situation. If it was college football, he'd have better luck, but he's not in Kansas anymore (I hate myself for that) he needs to change to a new way of thinking to help the club survive.

Ted drink 4 pints of beer because he didn't want them going to waste, like with the curry in episode 3. Also because he just got yelled at by his best friend and needed to drown his sorrows.

Drunk Ted forgets to look the other way before crossing the road, but Roy's there, so he's fine. Also drunk Ted is kind of hot with his hair being a mess. Though I really just want to tuck him up in bed and let him sleep it off.

Does Ted regularly forget to eat and that's why he has a jar of peanut butter readily available? Unlike Roy I do have a nut allergy, so I am staying the hell away from him when he's doing that. I do not need another trip to the hospital, thank you. 2 allergic reactions is enough for me. They aren't bad reactions, like they won't kill me, but I do need steroid antihistamines for them because the over the counter ones do nothing to help.

Why does Ted have 2 day old pasta water sitting on his stove top? Does Ted have ADHD? Also why was he hot when gesturing to the pasta water?

Roy is good at hiding his anger? How angry is this man? He's like Bruce Banner in the first Avengers film. Dude is always angry, just let's it out when he needs to. What happened in Roy's life that made him so angry all the time? (Also I recognise that Brett will be playing Hercules in the MCU. And that was basically my introduction to him).

So, Rebecca calls Ted a little shit when she talks to Higgins about how he forgave her. And now Phoebe is a little shit for wanting to watch the match even if Roy isn't in it.

Ice cream is great. I have no opinion on Billy Joel, though I have heard that you're not supposed to besmirch him, lest I get run though and splattered across the ground by a super fast, superhero called A-Train. (I like The Boys, it's a good show and that first episode really sets the tone of what the rest of it will be like).

'I never know how to react when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me.' you either watch it happen or you join in, those are your two options. But Ted's hair just flopping about as he does it and the overwhelming need to run my hands through it. My poor friend is never going to hear the end of my thirst for this man. (Hi friend 👋, because I know you check to see if I have posted something for the day).

Ted really puts the manic in Manic Pixie Dream Boy. Because he is one.

Ted insults Roy like Henry would insult him.

Ted makes tea for both him and Roy so Roy doesn't drink alone. Brett hates tea and Jason likes it. To me, as a Yorkshire born person, I'm with Brett and Ted, tea is gross.

Higgins is back! Ted giving him biscuits is sweet, even if they were supposed to be for Trent Crimm - The Independent's daughter. Who really remembers their third birthday anyway. She'll be fine. It's cute that Ted did that for her anyway.

Nate apologising to Ted for for what happened in a dream. Been there. It was not a good dream, I had to message my friend and tell him what happened. I was on edge all day because of it. So, I get why Nate felt the need to apologise to real Ted, but, yeah, probably best to apologise to 'dream Ted' too.

Keeley should have hidden her vibrator better. And Roy being a good uncle, doing something nice for Phoebe in the hopes she will forget what she saw.

Hold on, Beard has been in a similar situation to Roy? I need a whole book about this man and his life.

The ending to this episode is probably my favourite of the show. Because if anything it shows that Ted got through to Roy. He believes. While he might not want other people to see it, he does. That's why he came back. There's no shame in saying he's injured and can't play or train with them, because he does have a legitimate reason to not play. But he came back for the team, as their captain. Ted had his back and now he has their's. Roy believes.

[terrorbirb]

This is my first full day back in a week and I'm still sick, yet because all of my coworkers are out my boss keeps being like "Nicole, can you please try to do this as well? It's for important customers :(" like with all do respect, because I do all manufacturing sales that means I handle the most profitable stuff we do that requires the most work and accounts for half of our business. Just me. And I've been out for a week practically. I'm also still sick. I know you're worried, but just think.

[julemmaes]

Honey - part two

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: I’m so tired yall have no idea. My eyes are burning and my fingers are cramping cause I’ve been writing all day to get this done, so yeah, I’m very satisfied and some of the blogs that I consider big or are big for a fact started following me and commented on the first part, so I freaked out a little, but I can tell that I’ll sleep peacefully tonight because of that, so thank you all. Enjoy!:)

Oh, and I almost forgot, the song at the end is called “Honey” and it’s by Johnny Balik (shoker, as my man Kieran would say)

masterlist

Word count: 4,966

Lorcan's least favourite day was definitely Friday, unlike all people his age. Not because he didn't like going out in the city at night to have fun and drink until you forgot even your mother's name, but because it was the only day of the week he had to work at both the shelter and the toy shop.

He loved working with the dogs and the few cats they brought in, and although he wasn't really a people person, he enjoyed spending time deciding with the kids and parents what was the best gift to go home with. And although Lorcan would never admit it out loud, he had grown fond of some of the regulars - especially a mother of three who he knew worked as a lawyer in one of the offices above the shop. Almost every day she would come in during her lunch break to buy one of those surprise sachets that cost a euro each and if Lorcan didn't see her coming before he went on his break, he would wait a few minutes before closing up just for her. Elide had managed to find out this detail a few months later after she moved in and he knew she would never stop teasing him because he had a heart of gold.

The phone vibrated in his hand just as he got behind the wheel and he wasn't at all surprised to see that the last message he had gotten was from Elide.

He huffed, not even opening yet another link that would surely send him to yet another website with information on why the world was ending very slowly and why humans were to be blamed entirely. He started the car and drove off towards their house.

Lorcan wasn't a bad person and he really cared about everything Elide was sending him, but he was tremendously tired and all he could think about was how much he wanted to take a shower and pass out in his bed. The fact that none of this was going to happen because Fenrys and Rowan had forced him to accept the invitation out to dinner made it all worse.

It took him less than ten minutes to get home and when he parked and saw the lights in their living room on, he seriously considered backing up and getting out of there to get to Vaughan's house before Elide noticed his car and he wouldn't be able to get away no more.

He was sure his friend would take him in without question if he asked to put him up for a night.

But luck was not on his side as Elide's petite figure appeared in the window and Lorcan could not see her face, but he knew she was smiling as she bounced and waved to greet him.

Despite everything, Lorcan raised his hand in turn and smiled back at her, knowing full well that even she could not see him so low and hidden by the evening shadows.

As he climbed the sixth flight of stairs and mentally prepared himself for two more, he could foresee the flood of words that would wash over him when he entered the house. Elide hadn't kept quiet for the entire day, sending him voice messages and staying with him on calls for the entire duration of his lunch break, so much so that at one point he had wondered if she had gone to class and then to work. He had discovered that yes, she had gone, but she hadn't paid the slightest attention to what they had explained and had gotten half the customers' orders wrong.

When he opened the front door, he recognized the melody of one of the songs she'd put on her apology playlist, the one he'd made for her nearly three weeks earlier after she'd found out he still smoked. She'd seemed so hurt that after he'd gone to bed and cleaned the tiles of his blood until they glistened, he'd stood at the kitchen table and spent hours and hours searching for the perfect apology songs. A bit dramatic perhaps, but it had had the desired effect.

He sighed, slipping off his jacket and putting it as far away from Elide's as possible, so that no animal hair would get on hers. He would clean it later.

The girl in question sputtered out of the living room with a beaming smile on her face, her cheeks strangely red and her eyes so bright they were glossy, "Hello, handsome."

"Hi, Ellie." he murmured, straightening his back and making the bones in his neck crack. Elide approached and Lorcan took a step back, bumping his back against the door, "I haven't showered yet," he put his hands forward to keep her at arm's length, "you can touch and hug me all you want later, but please not now," he begged her.

She gave the cutest pout he had ever seen, "But-"

"No buts, you can wait three minutes for me to wash up without dying," he continued, walking past her without touching her or making any overly sudden movements.

"You're such a pain in the ass," she complained, that adorable pout deepening all the more, "I can always take the antihistamine if I get allergies."

Lorcan shook his head, turning a confused expression on her, "I'd rather you didn't take medication just because you want to hug me."

It was true.

To their great misfortune, Elide was one of the very few people he knew who was allergic to animal hair. Any animal. More precisely, she was allergic to the mites that lived in the fur and the dust that accumulated in it in enormous quantities even on a normal basis. Given that the dogs Lorcan worked with were left to run loose in the fields all day, when he came home he was covered in anything that could kill his friend and roommate in one sniff and he didn't want to have to take her to the emergency room again because they couldn't tell if she was breathing properly.

It was why every night since he'd started working at the shelter he had taken a shower before doing anything else. It was why their water bill had gone up so much since they had found out about this allergy of hers.

"It's just a pill Lor, it's not like I have to get shots or..." she shrugged, as if to indicate anything more invasive than a simple pill.

He brought his hands in front of his mouth like a prayer, looking her in the eyes, "How many times do I have to explain to you that if you take one type of medicine every day, after a while your body no longer perceives it as an extra foreign thing to help you, but as the norm and so it no longer has any effect?"

Elide grimaced, "I hate you."

He chuckled, walking backwards until he reached the bathroom door, just in case she had the great idea to ambush him and jump on his back, "Just wait five minutes."

"It was three before," she said frowning, "And, speaking of showers-" and then she did something that made Lorcan freeze in his tracks. He didn't register what was going on until Elide's shirt was too high up for him to avoid seeing everything. And by everything, he meant everything.

"Elide what the fuck are you doing?!" he turned around, screaming, then his eyes went wide, trying to figure out if what had just happened was true or not. He squeezed his eyes shut, closing his hands into fists, biting his knuckles, "You're not wearing a fucking bra." he said in a voice sharper than he had intended.

He heard her giggle, but the sound came out muffled, "Loorcaaan." she crooned, "Help."

"I can't turn around Ellie, you're naked," he pointed out to her with his eyes still closed, then in a lower voice, "God, you're naked. What has gotten into you?"

He felt her move as she walked around him and stopped in front of him, "Help." she said in a flat tone. Lorcan had to laugh, her tone reminded him so much of the way the green aliens in Toy Story talked.

"Help what?" he asked letting out an amused laugh.

"I'm stuck." she said slurring her words and he felt her move, she was probably wiggling to get out of her t-shirt. And if she was wiggling, that meant her-

Lorcan took a sharp breath, cursing under his breath and trying to quiet his wandering mind.

He arched an eyebrow, though he was pretty sure she couldn't see him either, as doubt crept into him, "Are you drunk?"

Elide was silent for a while, then giggled like a child, "Just a little tipsy."

"Ellie it's seven o'clock," he exclaimed amused, but surprised to learn that she had been drinking, "why on earth are you drunk at seven?"

"Just a little tipsy," she repeated like a broken record. Then she screeched like a pterodactyl and Lorcan burst out laughing again, turning and taking a step or two forward to avoid risking accidentally touching her once more.

"Alright, why are you just a little tipsy at seven o'clock on a night when we're supposed to be going out with the others?" he asked now a little more eager to know the answer.

He heard her snort audibly, "The world is ending, Lorcan, why won't you understand that?"

He opened his eyes wide, not believing what she was saying, pinning them on the picture their friends had given them for Christmas, the one with all their best pictures collaged on a coloured canvas.

And here he thought he was the dramatic one of the two.

He nodded to himself, "So you're telling me that the reason you decided to get drunk before you even went out is because of global warming?"

He heard a rustle and then something hit him on the head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to slap you," she said in the tone of someone who couldn't care less about having hit him, "Anyway, yeah. Global warming and forests catching fire and animals dying and plastic burning..." she took a deep breath and then continued for a few minutes, making a list of all the things she had learned that afternoon by reading all the articles she could find about why humans were the worst living thing in the world.

Lorcan stood patiently listening to her, occasionally getting lost when she introduced topics that were a little too specific, but listen to her he did. The way she was saying all those things was always reminiscent of the little green aliens, but he knew the subject was more serious than it sounded.

With his arms crossed over his chest, he didn't think he'd moved too much, but at one point Elide sneezed and he cursed himself for not having moved fast enough to go to the bathroom.

"I told you you'd get allergies."

"But I didn't even touch you," she squealed back.

"You know that's not necessary for even your soul to start itching too," he scolded her.

Elide remained silent for a while longer, then started talking again, "And we should seriously get some glass bottles, if I see you with those stupid plastic bottles again I'll kill you. Scout's honor." she threatened him.

Lorcan chuckled, "Elide you've never been in scouts."

"How punctilious of you." she scoffed at him, then gasped, "We could buy matching flasks, with glitter and," she gasped again, sounding increasingly excited, "We could have one of our pictures printed on it."

A smile broke out on Lorcan's lips and he knew that if he had looked in the mirror at that moment he would have seen the face of a boy lost in love. He pulled himself together, straightening his back, trying not to think about how he felt about Elide. It wouldn't have done any good to admit that those feelings were real and tangible inside him.

He was staring at Fenrys' face in one of the pictures they had taken on holiday that summer, when Elide spoke again.

"This is a list of things that should make you understand why we have to shower together."

Lorcan choked on his saliva. He coughed a few times, patting his chest.

How had they gone from polar bears dying from melting ice to them showering together?

"What are you talking about?" he asked her in a squeaky voice.

The fact that she was alluding to them showering together while he knew she was half naked behind him, a breath away practically, made him feel so many different kinds of wrong.

"We can't waste water Lor, it's not hard." she sounded exasperated, then muttered, "Sometimes I really think you're being obtuse or stupid."

Lorcan's eyes went wide, "Wow, thanks Ellie."

"You're welcome." she chipped.

He shook his head, sighing and running a hand over his face, "Don't you think there are plenty of other ways we can start saving the world, before we have to shower together?" he took the fact that she wasn't answering as a cue to continue, "Like start recycling?"

Elide gasped again, making him chuckle, "Did you sign the petition?"

"Which-" he trailed off. She was talking about the petition to have a door-to-door rubbish collection service introduced in their town. Something that would force everyone to sort their garbage. "Yes, I signed it."

"Good." she whispered.

"I signed them all," he reiterated, because it was true and he knew that Elide never sent him stupid petitions, that whatever she sent him must be important and it didn't cost him anything to put his email and name on a website if it meant he could make a difference in his own small way.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." she said in a weak voice.

Lorcan felt strangely uncomfortable all of a sudden.

And not because of the fact that Elide was naked behind him and had just confessed to wanting to shower with him, but because he would have wanted to turn around and kiss her, not do what any other guy would have thought of doing with a half-naked girl. No. Lorcan just wanted to kiss her and take his time in the process, savour the kiss and not be hasty and quick.

He wanted it to be slow and heartfelt, he wanted her to feel every single thing he couldn't say out loud.

"Lorcan?" she whispered, "I'm always stuck and I'm starting to get cold."

He blinked, "Yeah, you're right." then interrupted. They were silent a few seconds, "You really can't pull your shirt down?"

"No."

He took a deep breath. Then another.

"Okay, I'm going to turn around and keep my eyes closed, please stay still so I don't touch- anything. I'm not touching anything. I'll try to help you." he stammered, clasping his hands along his sides. She made a simple grunt of assent and he huffed, raising his hands in the air and lowering them slowly until he touched her head. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and then released the elbow that had gotten stuck in her shirt.

"Yay." exclaimed Elide.

Sensing that she was moving freely on her own, Lorcan pulled away again and when the sound of clothes stopped, he asked, "Are you done?"

"Yes," she said singing.

His shoulder sagged a little and he smiled. He opened his eyes, ready to move Elide to the side and go take that holy shower, but whatever he'd thought when he'd asked if she was done must have been the exact opposite of what she'd thought, because Elide's tits were freer than ever between the two of them.

Lorcan grunted, slapping a hand over his face to cover his eyes, "What the fuck, Ellie. Stop flashing me, I'm begging you."

He heard her giggle and then a gust of wind and her laughter fading down the corridor let him know she had run off. He opened his eyes tentatively, peering through his fingers to make sure she wasn't still in front of him and sighed with relief when he finally managed to get into the bathroom and lock the door behind him.

He leaned against the sink, clutching the ceramic between his fingers and staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He never thought the first time he would see Elide's tits would be under these circumstances. He ran a hand over his face again, trying to somehow erase the image he knew he would never forget.

He had just stepped into the shower when he heard something very large and heavy slam against the door. Something that seconds later burst out laughing. Lorcan could only follow as he imagined a half-naked Elide running towards the bathroom and failing to stop in time.

"Are you alright, honey?" he asked her just in case. He turned on the water, hissing when he found it frozen, but not moving from under the jet. After all, a cold shower wouldn't hurt him.

"Let me in." she shouted, slamming her fist against the door, "Let me iiin!"

"Are you dressed?"

"No."

"Then you can't come in."

A scream of despair followed by what could only be a fake hysterical cry made him burst out laughing again, but then for a few minutes all that was heard was the sound of the shower and water falling from his hair.  

"Ellie, are you still there?"

The answer came quickly, "Yes."

"Are you still naked?"

"Maybe." then he heard her move against the door and realised she'd been sitting on the floor.

Perfect, he was stuck in there. He reached for the phone and thought of something.

As he finished untangling the knots in his hair and washing out the conditioner, Elide was talking about how harmful the soaps they used were and had even gone so far as to say that they should both shave their heads so as to minimise their impact on the environment.

"What did you do today?" she asked him suddenly.

Lorcan didn't answer, dialling the number of a certain blonde girl who could help him out of this situation. Aelin answered after the fifth ring and Lorcan knew full well that she had done it on purpose, hoping he would hang up so she wouldn't have to talk to him.

"Hello?"

"Listen, something kind of weird happened and I need-"

"Who is this?" Lorcan arched an eyebrow, pulling his ear away from the phone to check the number. It was Aelin's phone. And the chick's voice on the other end was her, he was sure of it. "God, Lorcan, I'm fucking with you, what's up?"

"Funny," he deadpanned, "Elide's already drunk."

"What? But it's not even eight o'clock."

"I know, I came home and she was already like that."

A few moments of silence passed, "Okay, and what do you want me to do?"

"Well, she took her shirt off at one point."

Lorcan waited for a reaction, but Aelin didn't respond.

"And now she's naked in the hallway and blocking the bathroom door and-"

"She's what?" the friend burst out laughing.

"She's naked," he gritted through his teeth, "And she's blocking the bathroom door. I don't know how to get out and I don't want to open the door and push her off and risk hurting her. Is there any way you could come over here and help her? Help me?"

"I’ll make sure she'll never hear the end of it." Aelin laughed louder and Lorcan heard Rowan ask her what was going on. The blonde took breaths before saying, "Ellie flashed Lorcan and how he's stuck in the bathroom because he's afraid of a pair of nice-looking boobies."

"So are you planning on coming?" he asked before he completely lost his patience.

He imagined her wiping tears from under her eyes, "Yes, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"We?"

"Me, Ro and Fen. He's the one driving tonight and he picked us up."

"Okay," Lorcan murmured, "but they can't come up to the house."

"Why?" drawled Aelin, "Because you're jealous?"

He counted to ten, restraining himself from hanging up on her, "No, because this is going to be humiliating enough for Elide without two more of her friends seeing her half naked, so please just come up alone."

Aelin huffed, "You're right, but you're no fun."

They said their goodbyes and Lorcan put the phone down, starting to blow dry his hair.

"Lorcan."

"Lorcan."

"Lorcan."

Elide hadn't stopped saying his name for half a second throughout the call and it was starting to annoy him. Then he shook his head, no. He wasn't annoyed by Elide, it was Aelin.

That girl could get under his skin like few could.

"What?"

"You didn't tell me what you did today."

And Lorcan did, so that at least she would stop slamming her hand against the door.

He told her about the last man who'd come to see what dogs he could give his daughter and how he'd seemed so much like the guy who'd abandoned them on the side of the road after not even a week and it had pissed him off. He told her the morning had been even worse, because one of the children had started opening all the toys on display and his mother, who had been right next to him the whole time with her eyes fixed on the phone screen, hadn't stopped him and it had been up to Lorcan to tell him he couldn't do it. It was only then that the woman had realised what a mess it was and had simply apologised to him, running out of the shop so fast that he hadn't even noticed they had left. He had to call his manager and he was not exactly pleased to hear this story, but he also said that they would donate the toys to the church down the street, which was responsible for distributing them to kindergartens in the neighbourhood. That cheered him up a little.

By the time he had finished his story, Aelin had arrived and once he had taken her to her room. Lorcan could finally go out and get ready himself.

***

It was after midnight, the entire group was rocking out on the dance floor of their favorite outdoor club, a place called "The Wild Night" that was on the edge of town, closer to the forest than anything else, and normally Lorcan would have joined his friends to dance and sing, but there was a problem.

A big, huge, handsome problem.

And the problem was called Kyllian.

He couldn't figure out whose idea it had been to invite the boy with them that night, but whoever it was, this person's days were numbered, because Lorcan would kill them first and then use the limbs of their corpse to kill Kyllian.

Kyllian who had now been rubbing up against Elide for hours and who had offered her more drinks than stupid charming grins - and he really was reserving a lot of those for her.

"If you don't stop looking at him like that you're going to make his head explode," someone said, throwing themselves onto the small bench next to him.

He turned his head so fast he wondered how he had managed not to break his neck, "What are you talking about?"

Fenrys arched an eyebrow, "Even if you weren't staring at Kyllian like you wanted to see him disappear off the face of the earth, everyone here, including Elide," he told him with so much as a glare, giving him a slight shove, "would know that you're not really into what's going on on that dance floor."

"He's right," Rowan said to his left, sipping the drink of Aelin's she'd left him. When the hell had he sat there?

Lorcan didn't answer, remaining motionless with his sullen expression.

"I can give you a hand if you want," Fenrys murmured, sucking on the fuchsia straw sticking out of his equally pink glass.

He inhaled through his nose, "And how would you do that?"

"You have to trust me."

"Never." said Lorcan as Rowan said at the same time, "Don't."

Fenrys looked at them both with his mouth wide open and a hand to his chest, "I'm hurt." then finished what was left of the drink in one gulp and stood up abruptly, staggering a little, but holding himself up nonetheless. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the two boys still sitting, grinning, and Lorcan knew immediately what was going to happen.

"Ellie!" he shouted, turning more heads than necessary, "Love of my life!"

Kyllian pulled away from Ellie just enough for Fenrys to grab her hand and spin her around a few times until she burst out laughing and begged him to stop. The new boy didn't even seem to exist anymore as his best friend laced her arms around Fenrys' hips and rocked left and right, increasingly drunk.

Lorcan's heart clenched in his chest as he heard that sound so carefree, so happy.

He didn't realise he was smiling until Rowan cackled beside him, "God, you're fucked."

He didn't pay any attention to him and stood up, keeping his gaze fixed on her face.

He heard Lysandra and Aelin calling his name, hyping him up and threw them a real, quick smile that made them scream even louder, as if they were fans at one of his concerts. When he finally reached Fenrys and Elide's side, the blond spun her around ninety degrees and for a moment she closed her eyes, giggling, intoxicated by the amount of alcohol she had ingested, but when she opened them again and saw Lorcan standing in front of her, a smile as wide as he had ever seen it spread across her face.

"I'll leave you Ellie, you're in good hands," Fenrys told her, winking at him from above her head.

But neither of them even looked at him.

His eyes locked into hers as they both took a step forward and found themselves a caress away. Her chest rose and fell in an agitated rhythm. After all, she'd been dancing with everyone for hours, so much so that Lorcan wondered how she hadn't thrown up yet.

His gaze ran over her body, her bare shoulders, the line of her collarbones, and further down between her breasts. Breasts he'd had the chance to see for a millisecond a few hours before and remembered perfectly. The darker shade of pink that had characterized her-

"Lorcan."

He felt his heart pounding in his throat.

She had never said his name like that.

His eyes went up, sliding over lips so full, so perfect, up, over her nose and then up again, finding hers and the music changed, becoming slower, the lights dimmed as the strobes were turned off. Elide seemed to recognise the tune as her lips parted slightly, "Lor," she repeated. He raised a hand until his knuckles brushed her cheek and when she let go a shuddering breath, Lorcan began to sing under his breath.

"Tell me everything and hold no lies. Say you're waiting for better skies," he leaned forward as his other hand slid to her hip and Elide moved closer, until their bodies were fully joined to each other and one of her legs was between his and their hips were one thing moving in sync with the music. He felt Elide's breath against his neck and had to suppress a shudder when she too began to sing along with him.

"Oh, but honey don't taste like summer no more. Stick around now, I miss you every night,"

He lowered his head even more, brushing her nose with his own. The hand that had been on her cheek had slipped over her shoulder and was now tracing the path down her back, grazing the top of her bottom until it rested on her hip.

"Elide," he whispered, breathing on her lips. She closed her eyes, pushing herself up, towards him, and Lorcan held her tighter, moving his fingers over the exposed skin between her miniskirt and the black top she was wearing and there he was. Elide was there, with him, and she was so close to his body that he could feel the heart beating in her chest.

She was there and the next second... she wasn't. Because Elide had snapped away and was now vomiting on his feet. Lorcan held his breath as she was shaken by another gag and he had just enough time to take a step back that she threw up again.

The people around them quickly scampered away, creating a small circle of spectators and casting a quick glance at his friends he saw that they had a large audience. He just hoped Elide was too drunk to remember what happened the next day.

He looked down and grimaced, all sorts of emotions swirling inside him as the girl he loved clutched at him and puked her dinner all over his clothes.

He cursed at whoever decided how things went for breaking the best moment of his life with vomit and then gathered her hair into a loose ponytail, tying it with an elastic band he kept on his wrist specifically for these occasions.

He heard her whimper and put both hands on her shoulders, stroking her in circular motions to help her warm up. Aelin and Lysandra appeared next to them shortly after and when Ellie was firm enough on her feet to walk, they stepped over the pool of vomit and Lorcan wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pushing her towards the exit.

"Let's go home, Ellie."

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[anexperimentallife]

Okay, I know I'm complaining a lot about health stuff lately, but...

Thank Sagan the doc is letting me drop down to 40 MG of prednisone today. That 60 MG dose has been robbing me of sleep, and I think I was about to chew a hole on the inside of my cheek.

No really, I've been averaging maybe three hours of sleep a night for almost a week now. I am SO done.

They're just throwing everything at me now lol. Prednisone, and because Prednisone suppresses your immune system and I'm apparently immunocompromised anyway and got another sinus/throat/ear infection while on the prednisone, they also have me on antivirals, TWO antibiotics, anti-thrombosis stuff and vasodilators (because blood clots are a risk with long COVID), then extra vitamin supplements, and proton pump inhibitors so all the medications don't eat a hole in my stomach, then like, some stuff that the FDA won't let them make any claims about but that is SUPPOSED to help heal nerve damage, because it MIGHT help, and also some traditional SE Asian herbal meds because my doc is like, well it can't hurt, and it MIGHT help. Oh, and antihistamines, of course.

And probiotics, so the antibiotics don't mess up my guts too much. (I figure the antibiotics and probiotics are just slugging it out; I'm considering setting up a betting pool.)

I feel like a walking pharmacy.

@thesurestthing is picking up all my slack, as usual, but I still do what I can until she yells at me to sit down. I know it's hard on her seeing me like this, and taking care of a baby AND my crippled ass, even at the best if times. And this is definitely NOT the best of times.

Of course I hang put with El as much as possible, too, and although that is definitely something I love, it also gives Zoey a break from being a constant caregiver to both of us.

What kills me, though, is that although, usually if we have to go someplace, I INSIST on being the one to wear El on my chest in her little carrier, and I hate that I can't trust my vision or balance enough to do that right now.

Jhane (local girl who's step-dad kicked her out so, we took her in when I was still on the oxygen machine) was helping out, too (doing the dishes, sweeping up occasionally, keeping the baby occupied when Zoey was trying to cook and I was bedridden, etc.), but she managed to find a job, so she simply can't do as much anymore.

Proud of her, though. I kind of treat her like a surrogate granddaughter, and she introduces me as her fake Lolo. Once she starts getting paychecks she plans to move in with her brother. We'll miss her. El LOVES her ate (ah-tay, meaning, "big sister") Jhane. El can't say ate or Jhane yet, so she just calls her, "Te."

But although we'll miss her, once she moves in with her brother I'll be able to walk around the house naked again, so, you know, trade-offs.

Still, another thing that kills me is that we'd have saved almost enough for the SRRV by now if I hadn't gotten COVID. I know I keep saying that.

Anyway, here's your reward for reading all that lol.

[ryanthedemiboy]

Whumptober Day 1

Alt prompt 8: adverse reactions.

Ed develops a metal allergy

Words: 350

Rated: G

Warnings: body horror (allergy response to embedded metals)

Ed wakes up one day, and his automail ports itch like nothing else in his life ever has. He gives it a day, just in case, but it gets worse.

He calls Winry.

"What do you mean it 'just started itching' Ed?" She asks.

"I mean I woke up yesterday and my ports itched so much I wanted to stab myself! How much clearer do I have to be, woman?"

She demands he hurry down to see her.

When he arrives, he's barely in the door of Garfiel's before he's shucked most of his clothing.

"Oh honey that looks bad what did you do?" he asks.

Ed doesn't even hear him, for how much his stumps hurt.

Looking back, he won't remember the next several days. But every mechanic in the Valley stops in to see him and offer ideas as to what's going on.

Someone had a hunch and taped some titanium to Ed's arm while he dozed on day two. He was up in under an hour furiously itching his flesh arm with his flesh knee.

"You're allergic," Winry whispered in horror, staring at the welt the metal had made in Ed's flesh.

She gave him antihistamines in the hopes that she could save his ports.

It helped, but not enough. The next day, Ed had to have emergency surgery to remove his ports.

Ed would remember coming out of the anaesthesia for the rest of his life.

He opened his eyes and looked around. "Huh?"

He saw Winry. "What happened?" He tried to reach out to her with his right arm, not remembering having it removed a few days prior.

He looked at his arm. Where his port should be. Where his shoulder should be.

"Winry?" he'd asked, panicked.

"I'm sorry, Ed," she'd said, trying to hide her distress. "We had to take out your ports."

Ed looked down to his legs. He had several inches less of his leg remaining.

"When can I get new ones?" Ed had asked, voice hoarse.

"Never," she whispered.

[jjbrozier]

As someone with asthma and bad allergies, first get in a hot steamy shower, if you have eucalyptus oils use those. It won't hurt to take an antihistamine either, and if you have a dehumidifier, sit up next to it and take deep breaths. Always sit up straight- jai

I already took a hot shower and took Benadryl and hit an inhaler and am currently on a vaporizer and nothing is helping