#having a parent die and your relationship with the other consequently evolve is like

[diazpoems]

As a person whose mom died and who had to subsequently be taken care of by their father that scene with Stiles and his dad, where he got the Sheriff drunk and Mr. Stilinski says he misses talking to Stiles, he misses Stiles’ mom, S1E10 hit so hard

[theopolis]

Extremely long, extremely salty Kindred criticism post

Yk the thing about the Kindred storyline is that it failed at being everything it was trying to be.

It wanted to be like DeMatteis' Goblin Junior arc while simultaneously inverting every concept from that arc. Harry is a gentle soul going down a dark path and hurting not only others but himself in the process? No, he's the comically evil mastermind who would throw his friends - Gwen and MJ, who even by his own standards have done him no wrong - under the bus to get revenge! Norman is the looming influence that follows Harry and motivates him to bend himself into who his father wanted him to be? No, he's the repentant, permanently dewey eyed reformed Norman who we're supposed to feel bad for when he gets dismissed and punched around by evil Harry/his demonic clone vessels/whatever the fuck. Peter is the best friend who, despite of course feeling angry and betrayed, believes in Harry's softness and their love and wants the best for him? No, he's immediately and with zero explanation ready to believe Harry is a literal demon all of a sudden and, I quote, "through with helping him". And I don't even think this (later clumsily backpedaled on) change of mind in Peter isn't justified in-universe - Kindred did uh, dig up the skeletons of Peter's loved ones and put party city wigs on them and also smash him with a big rock a couple of times, so there's that. But that's exactly the problem - Spencer set the stage for a story that doesn't actually involve Peter, or Harry, or Norman. He created mostly completely different dynamics between mostly completely different characters, and decided to project that on the the three of them. While also periodically inserting hamfisted callbacks to the DeMatteis stories, as if he didn't just take a giant dump on everything they established.

And here's the thing, even if I did enjoy the idea of Harry forgiving Norman, or the idea of Harry returning to villainy, or the idea of Norman becoming a character we're supposed to root for - which I cannot stress enough how much I don't - the execution of all these ideas was perhaps the worst it could have possibly been. Rushed, convoluted, and hollow.

Norman's sudden goodness is the result of a supernatural, vague process that apparently "freed him of his sin", whatever that means. Like, how do you quantify sin? How can you take it out of a person when it's their moral ideology and conscious choices that make them sinful/bad/evil? What happened to Norman simply reads like brainwashing to me. He is aware he's done something really bad, but he hasn't actually learned anything, and that impression is only backed by the way he talks about his past actions. It's always "oh it's my fault you're like this Harry" and "oh I can never make it up to you" etc etc but does he ever actually recognize his mistakes for what they were? Recognize where the errors of his past convictions lie? Of course not, because Spencer has zero reading comprehension and therefore no clue about the intricacies of Norman's character, his abuse of Harry, or what motivated it, or what he demanded of his son. It's funny how these four panels from a recent What If issue managed to paint a more compelling, if brief, picture of Norman as an apologetic father than Spencer has in a year worth of comics:

Harry's sudden villainy and the way it evolved throughout this story is just a train wreck. He has not had a substantial role in the comics for a long time now, but suddenly he's back AND he's evil! Who cares about complexity? Who cares about how Harry's feeling? Why he's doing what he does other than some extremely vague idea of revenge on apparently both Peter and Norman? Even though he was neck deep in denial about Norman being a horrible father and person at the time he supposedly launched the whole (checks notes) "create clones from Norman's and Gwen's DNA to stick it to his old man AND Peter in the future" plan, which he concocted because he somehow (????) knew his father wasn't gonna stay dead, which begs the question why he was so torn up about it in the first place, and- Look I could sit here all day trying to decipher the whole Gabriel and Sarah Stacy twist. It's impressive what an inconsistent, incomprehensible mess it is considering it was only introduced two issues ago. ASM 74 sort of hinted that Harry was being piloted by Mephisto when he created the clones so they could later become his hellish lackeys? I uhm, think? It's impossible to tell because no part of that retcon makes any sense to begin with. It doesn’t want to make sense because it was written - most likely on a whim - with the sole intent to garner good will for undoing Sins Past. Harry, for this entire arc, was not a character but merely a tool to bait us with an OMD reversal and ultimately do a Sins Past one. And of course, there's the fact that post OMD Harry - one of the only good things to come out of OMD in the first place - was just a clone all along, putting into question how valid all the amazing and inspiring development he went through since his revival was. Thanks a lot.

Lastly, I don't think I have to say how insulting it is to not just use Harry's character as a cheap plot device, but eventually force him to sacrifice his life for the very man who ruined it in every way. The man who abused him since birth, betrayed him on every level, attacked and murdered so many people Harry loves, including almost getting Harry's son killed. Why? Because he’s had a suspicious sudden onset of goodness that Harry has no context for? Norman and clone!Harry have not even interacted for this entire arc, but the sole act of Norman offering himself up to the rabid Kindred twins makes Harry instantly forgive everything he’s ever done. There was no build up to this whatsoever. It’s bad writing. And I don't think the abuse apologism implications of all this are intentional, I think Spencer just thought up the groundbreakingly subversive concept of "what if Norman good and Harry bad" and ran with that. But those implications are there nonetheless, because Harry and Norman's relationship has pretty much always been about abuse, about being mistreated by your parents, about not feeling good enough for them and eventually realizing that you were wronged and you don't owe them anything.

Spencer had Harry, a man who fought for years to rise to his best, most authentic self and fully turn his back on Norman and his legacy, die to save the father who never valued him for that self. And to add insult to injury, paralleled that with Harry dying after saving his best friend who loved him unconditionally. The latter mentioned death being a direct consequence of the actions Harry took to fit the expectations said abusive father had drilled into his head. I feel like that ending explains everything about this plotline.

[beclynn-herondale]

hi! ❤ hope you are well, i'm so happy to know you liked my last robert analysis. it feels very safe and nice to write about him to you, so it makes me really glad that you're enjoying too. forgive me, it took me a while to write this one!

between the points you mentioned, what you said you think about his trauma got my attention first. what you think is right, and i thought it would be a good idea to help you with your conclusions if i explained robert's trauma in details.

to examine it closely, i separate robert's childhood trauma into three parts. i guess we could say he had three different childhood traumas. you probably remember it generally: rune experience, parents, and discrimination. each one was deeply connected to the others but had a different effect in some ways.

1- rune experience: it's kinda hard to people to understand what happened because its horribleness was complex. i'll try to summarize. it was robert's 12th birthday. first of all, robert was being burned alive non-stop. he wasn't having his flesh burned, he was something like "burning inside." how intense the pain was: it consumed his entire being, he lost the ability to think, the pain blocked any thought or memory he could have, so robert didn't know who he was, where he was or what was happening, because all his body/mind/soul were processing was the extreme pain. it was mortal pain, it was supposed to kill robert, he was supposed to die consumed but the burning pain. but it didn't. somehow, while he hadn't the ability to think or feel anything but pain, he had strenght to stay alive in pain instead of die. he was enduring something people shouldn't be able to survive to. in his state where his sould/mind was enduring differently of his body, there were demons, and they tortured robert physically and verbally. then, his family members appeared to him, basically saying he was worthless and should die. he really was supposed to be dead by then, and he could see it, he literally could see hell right waiting for him to finally expire. but it didn't happen. somehow he endured it. now, all of this, lasted one entire month. it's actually hard to imagine someone somehow enduring this for one entire month. i don't think any other character had to endure something like this, except maybe annabel. it's the worse i ever saw happen to a tsc character, it was an entire month. (it's very depressing how nobody could ever understand robert cuz no one else around survived something like this. annabel was tortured, buried alive and then painfully ressurrected, and went literally insane because of it.)

this had multiple consequences to robert. physically, he took a while to recover, but then it was stated his body was fine. the effects were mostly mental. after receiving his first rune, robert was supposed to continue his training, but he couldn't. other kids of his age were evolving their training, while he was doing nothing about it. he both hadn't the energy and couldn't do it, cuz he was afraid of steeles. something perfectly logical since a steele caused that month of agony. you know he eventually managed to learn to use steeles to be an actual shadowhunter. but it wasn't all.

the first rune is something normal that happens to all shadowhunters, and it's mostly something good. the way it was horrible to robert in a way no one could have expected, made robert develop extreme anxiety; because the worst happened to him triggered by something common. so while doing common things, robert would be always scared and anxious, thinking about the worst of the worst that could happen. while it wasn't much notable to other people, it harmed his development and behavior a lot, consequently harming his self-steem, cuz he couldn't do things right, he was always worried and overthinking everything.

to compensate it, robert became somebody who worked on two extremes: he was always overthinking everything, except in battle. in battle he wasn't what we define as brave i guess. he was fearless. valentine is the one who helped robert to achieve that. (we know his actual motivations, this isn't important now) the mental process valentine taught him was: robert's inherent fear and anxiety made him fail, and that made him despise himself (that's something robert does a lot for countless reasons). robert should not only embrace the fury he felt against himself, but it should dominate him, and he use its intensity to block his fear. then basically, robert should do a mental form of self harm, letting the strenght of his hate for himself take his mind and use this strenght to control his actions. robert's fury leading his actions, not his fear and anxiety. as expected with this process, robert then was able to engage in normal shadowhunter activities, but fearless when it came to physical risk. logically this would be very dangerous, but we can imagine how useful it was for valentine to have on his team a warrior like this who was such a big and strong man and centainly could take a lot of physical damage and pain (and i guess it shouldn't be any doubt that being so tough helped robert a lot to survive through the years). we know it was because of this robert felt he owed loyalty to valentine.

2- parents: first, something kinda interesting is that robert had other relatives and they were there when robert's first rune was made. we are informed that his state during that month of agony was a scandal and robert's parents were the ones being absurd. so we can assume his other relatives had nothing to do with it. another strong evidence is robert naming two of his children with names from his family, what indicates he didn't saw his entire family negatively. now his parents... let's never forget what happened to robert was supposed to kill him on incredible intense pain. andrew and phoebe deliberately let their child to die in pain so he wouldn't be a mundane. i personally classify them between the worst shadowhunters parents along with céline's, annabel's, valentine and tatiana.

after robert woke up, they (or anyone else) never cared to ask robert how he felt. all they wanted was to make everything seem normal, without caring about how robert was taking it. they never showed any regret about what they've done: they did the opposite of that, telling robert right on his face what they did and how they were sure that it was totally worth it to make him go through that to not be a mundane. it hurt (and traumatized) robert a lot.

love from parents and relatives is supposed to be the first love someone gets. and robert didn't have that. if his parents showed love to him on his first years alive, it never mattered because these two traumas mentioned made robert forget anything about his parents from before his first rune. he couldn't ever remember them as actual parental figures of love. the only parents he remembered and recognized were the ones who left him to endure that, looked proud of it and never cared about its effects on him afterwards. as far as it counted, robert lived a loveless childhood. as i mentioned, andrew and phoebe wanted everything to be as normal possible, so they just acted as robert's parents as if anything happened, but it was pointless and felt cold. after knowing what they did to him (what they let happen to him), knowing that they didn't actually love him as their child, robert couldn't have a bond with them, he couldn't even be comfortable around them. it's described that their presence was what intensified robert's loneliness the most. so he didn't spend much time around them, he stayed in his room.

without his parents' love, robert's first experience with love was when he was 13 years old, with michael. it was setting a standard of love to him, with the long-term consequences afterwards being devastating. (i guess someone could even connect robert not recognizing his parents affection with his future performance of fatherhood, but that would be mostly guessing and i rather work with things i can prove. another good guess i think would be connecting his loveless childhood to how robert during his teenagehood had messy limits between his love for michael and his affection for maryse and didn't know how to handle or recognize it. i mean mostly things like, if michael was robert's best friend/parabatai and maryse his romantic partner and probably future wife, why did robert see maryse and women in general as a threat to michael's place in his life and their parabatai and best friend relationship? he saw valentine having a parabatai he loved and a girlfriend he wanted to get married to, and still freaked out about a woman as his wife replacing michael who was his parabatai, what didn't make any sense. i know people joke about robert being "clueless" about michael but it isn't much funny with this context. finally, another guess would be connecting robert's discovery that his parents' love for him was faulty through they letting him hurt to his beliefs that what he did to michael proved his love for michael was faulty. you can deliberate about all of these conjectures if you want).

3- discrimination: before his first rune, robert had other kids to play with, but he wouldn't remember much of it. yeah, we can say robert doesn't remember anything about how he was treated by people before his first rune. robert doesn't know a life without trauma.

since what happened to robert was a political scandal, with everyone trying to save robert and his parents wanting him to keep his painful and mortal rune, what happened to him was kind of general knowledge. then, no kid wanted to play or train with him. at first he was still recovering, but then he couldn't move foward because he didn't have anyone. he didn't want to be around his parents' coldness and no one else wanted to be around him, quite literally. other people would be around him only when being forced, and then would stay the most distant of him possible, to never get physically close of him, as if to not catch a disease. this is absolutely dreadful to a child.

being treated like this hurt and traumatized robert terribly. being around any one was horrible, so he spent most of the time hidden in his room. not being able to improve on anything because of his fears and anxiety and not having anyone to train with or even to socialize with, and basically never being able to move on about what happened, robert hated to be alive and wished to be dead, wished the rune had killed him as it should have, because he thought no death could be worse than his life, so be dead would be better. this state of mind dured an entire year before michael came around. a lot of damage had been done by then.

being treated like he was "sick" and ostracized left a huge psychological wound on him. to him, discrimination was one of the worst things ever, for something that was never his fault and he never choose to.

(one may think that if robert hates discrimination, it doesn't make sense to him to dislike downworlders, but it actually does. all robert wanted was to be a normal shadowhunter, and he had deeper reasons than most to be passionate about being one. disliking downworlders would be an ideal average shadowhunter thing to do. but robert was far from ignorant. he didn't think downworlders were animals or demons and was far more inclined to defend downworlder segregation than downworlder extermination. of course segregation is something horrible in general and should never be defended, but with downworlders being different sub-species, it wasn't as absurd as the extermination valentine defended, and robert being actually smart and open minded, we know he actually changed his beliefs).

now, to him, one being discriminated by their peers was one of the worst things that could happen, and the perspective of being discriminated terrified and triggered robert deeply. we know the perspective of homosexuality freaks robert out because of the discrimination, marginalization and "anormality" experience that comes with it (and robert is a 60s kid and shadowhunter society is a conservative mess, so it would naturally seem so much more taboo to him), what scared him deeply. we see him getting extremely anxious over himself, michael and alec about the perspective of homophobic discrimination.

robert only started training with runes after his 14th birthday. his training was late, and between his 12th and 14th birthdays, half of the time was extremely traumatizing, the other half he spent most with michael (who helped him a lot about everything). but still, it was a very big share of his childhood-teenagehood and he didn't have the feeling or normality. everything i said about his anxiety over shadowhunting, specially over runes, applied intensely during his entire teenagehood, but robert went to the academy with michael where he was having normal training and final got to socialize a little. he loved so much to feel a little normal. he still felt like a weak and useless trash, but at least he was doing normal shadowhunting things and living like a teenager. the problem was: he wanted to live his entire teenagehood, and he just couldn't do that. training is supposed to end when shadowhunters are 18 years old. robert would stay at the academy until he was 19, and still didn't seem enough. while he was older than his fellows, he felt far less mature. much of his development time had been lost, and he would never get it back. in this context, it made very sense to robert's girlfriend be a younger girl and his admiration for a younger boy (valentine), and there were jokes about him being old, but what bothered robert the most was that he should soon live an adult man average life with wife and kids, when his perspective of life was being with michael in the academy. we also know how that went... and he married maryse when he was about 21/22 years old and maryse about 19.

forgive me for any grammar mistakes. i think this summary can help a lot! at least i hope it's useful to you or anyone else who read it! writing it was very thoughtful (and it's really a huge joy for me to explain things about robert, if you haven't guessed) and i hope to start working on my next ask soon

xoxo, take care of yourself, kind fellow ☺ thank you for your attention

First of all,. I'm sorry for getting to this late.

Second, I don't think I need to add anything. This is written very well, and gave me a deeper understanding.

And I am once again saying: let Shadowhunters get help with their trauma 😭

Also, TSC has a lot of bad parents. But it sadly represents real life 😔

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. I enjoyed reading it. And I agree with a lot that was said.

[hothian-snow]

Worldbuilding: Sith Magic (WIP)

An update to my original post.

I want to theorize about what magic may have been commonplace during the times of the Sith Pureblood, before they became influenced by the Dark Jedi. Some beliefs and practice may have evolved into what we know today, but many traditions will have likely died down, lost to time and to cultural colonisation. These are my headcanons, inspired by some headcanons others have made plus my own understanding of traditional witchcraft and Ancient Greek magic.

1) Magic of the Sun

Korriban is one of the original homes of the Sith Pureblood, and presumably the most prominent one. What could be seen the moment you step onto Korriban is the rocky red ending desert and the blistering sun. Magic from many cultures around our world are rooted in the land, and I believe Sith magic should be no different. In this case, their magic will be drawn from the sun, the bones that lie beneath the sands.

In the real world Greek Magical Papyri, a record of Greco-Egyptian magic spells, the sun god Helios is called upon in various rites ranging from consecration to restraining anger to bringing victory. In that same manner, I believe the sun may be called by the Sith to perform magical acts. In a lot of POC traditions, planets are also deified to be gods (something like astrolatry in Thailand etc), and so the Sith - who in my views are POC-coded - may revere the sun as a central religious figure (which makes it ironic that the concept of the Dark Side of the Force was later made to be the enemy of the Light). The sun nourishes, but it also burns. The light allows you to see, but too much can blind. It is the sun’s heat that rot corpses, freeing flesh from bones, rushing forth decomposition. The sun is life and the sun is death.

Just as Ancient Greek witches could be identified as descendants of Helios due to their flashing eyes, it is also possible that the Sith Pureblood may view themselves to be descendants of the sun. After all, their fiery eyes are like two miniature suns and their distinctive red skin are like the blood-red dawn. 

2) Magic of the Bones

In many ways, the Force is similar to the real-world belief of animism. Inside everything is something that is alive and powerful. In the bones, buried beneath the sands, are a vault of memories. Through feeding the bones - feeding the spirits within the bones - one can cultivate a relationship with the dead. One can redden the bones with flowers from cactus mixed with drops of blood, or blacken them with roots and soot. Incense smoke can be like food to the soul. This works for both animal and Sith bones.

Once awakened, bones can be your teachers, or used both as an offensive and defensive tool. The empty eye sockets of skulls can be placed in strategic places, eternally watching guard. Fangs and claws can be turned into magical talismans, to protect their masters and shred their enemies to pieces. Bones may whisper their wisdom to you. Learn from the tuk’ata how to protect and defend. Learn from the K’lor’slugs how to poison and strike.

3) Necromancy

With the talks of bones, we cannot avoid the topic of necromancy. In a lot of POC cultures, ancestor veneration plays an integral part of bringing families together. As the Sith Purebloods are POC-coded, and because we have seen in-game that ghosts of ancestors (Lord Kallig) may wish to help their descendants (the Sith Inquisitor), I believe ancestor veneration would have a prominent role in Sith culture. Ancestors may send you dreams for you to be prepared for upcoming threats. Ancestors may work their magic from beyond the grave to influence situations in the living world.

Aside from having a ghost literally show up, transmission of knowledge through dreams is one way that tradition can be passed down, in spite of the Sith Genocide that occured. Children may have been made orphans, but it does not mean that their parents can’t speak through them in an oneiric vision. Texts may have been burnt, cultural artifacts may have been destroyed, but magic prevails. History finds a way to be remembered.

Dream incubation can be used to receive information that would be otherwise unknown. Trances can be used to induce visions from the dead and from higher powers. Ointments made from poisonous herbs, smeared onto the body, can be used to induce the liminal state required for a person to get in touch with the otherworld.

There is also canonical evidence that necromancy was practiced among the Sith before the Dark Jedi colonised them: Dathka Graush, a Sith King of Korriban active in the decades prior to the arrival of the Dark Jedi Exiles in 6900 BBY, was among the earliest practitioners of Sith necromancy. Necromancy can be as dramatic as raising zombies using occult incantations, reanimating the freshly dead and the buried skeletons. However, I also want to go for a different approach.

Inspired by Ancient Greek necromancy, I believe the dead can be split into many types. Perhaps there are the restless dead, like the Greek aōroi, the spirits who could be appeased and channeled to wreak havoc. Perhaps there are the mighty dead, (war) heroes who have been elevated to the point where they are venerated and prayed to for strength and miracles. The dead can be called upon to glean prophecies, and deals can be made with them, pacts sealed in blood. The dead can teach you secrets and grant you powers, and you can send them forth to haunt your enemies until they are maddened. A Sith may ask the ravenous dead to feed upon their enemy, and pray that the power of the tomb claims the rest.

Some parts of the current Sith cultural beliefs may have been influenced by the beliefs of the Sith Pureblood (pre-Dark Jedi arrival), but twisted into a reactionary belief in response to the Jedi code. For example, the Jedi seems to have an accepting attitude towards death (“there is no death, there is only the Force”) while the current Sith seems to wish to overcome death, whether through having a long-lasting legacy or through occult means (like Darth Zash or Emperor Vitiate). This is why a Sith like Darth Marr who are not scared to die are viewed as being terrifying. I believe this culture of immense fear towards death is a new thing.

In my headcanon, the Sith Pureblood originally viewed death as something to respect and fear, but also understood it to be a necessity - and in some cases, a beautiful part of life. Through death, grapes are transformed into wine. There is sacredness in the sweet and cloying rot, a holiness to decay and entropy. Because of this, there may be a field of magic that focuses not just on reanimating corpses, but on hastening (or temporary slowing- with consequences) the way and speed at which something decomposes. Imagine a Sith gripping their enemies with their bare hands, and from that touch comes a death sentence: bodies begin to bloat, festering sickness seeping into muscles and bones, flesh turning necrotic before death consumes them.

4) Potions and Poisons

The art of pharmakeia and veneficium is something that came up in the Sith Inquisitor storyline. Zash makes offhand remarks about poisoning her foes, and the ghost that taught the Sith Inquisitor how to Force Walk requires the Inquisitor to drink a cup of poison first. Poison can both kill and teach. In the real world, many traditional witches who walk the poison path have made allies of their poison plants. In Greek myth and religion, Circe uses potions to transmute men into pigs, and transforms women into monsters by poisoning water with drugs.

Ziost, which became capital of the Ancient Sith Empire after the reign of the Sith Overlord Adas came to an end, was described to be a planet of dark forests and barren tundra. With forests comes plants, and with plants comes poison. Perhaps dirt from graveyards and places of bloodshed can be mixed with foul herbs, along with powdered molts of poison insects, and then infused into oil to be made into a tool for cursing enemies. Should a hair or piece of armor from one’s rival be found, one could powder that and mix the blend into a poppet, enabling a Sith to feed their enemy poison from a distance.

The flipside of poison is medicine. Healers may have been as abundant as poisoners, or perhaps healers were poisoners and poisoners were healers, for the difference between killing and treating is just application and dosage. Potions may also be made to bless and enhance the abilities of someone - something like how stims are used in the current setting - and washes and ritual baths may be used to free someone from unwanted afflictions.

5) Force Lightning

I believe Force lightning has always been used by the Sith Pureblood, but its prestige and popularity only has sky-rocketted once Vitiate became Emperor. Dromund Kaas’ constant lightning and perpetual thunderstorms may have been “a result of the Sith Emperor's experiments in arcane and forbidden uses of the dark side of the Force”. Hence, it may be possible that the usage of Force lightning became a symbol of power due to Vitiate’s influence.

6) Sith Artifacts and Tools

The most well-known artifact of the Sith is the Sith holocron. I am not certain but I believe the oldest Sith holocron may be the Telos Holocron, and one of the earliest contributors to the Telos Holocron was Ajunta Pall who was a Dark Jedi. The holocron’s purpose in storing information and passing down the legacy of a Sith Lord is linked to my view that it is the Dark Jedi who want to be immortalized and are afraid of death, not the original Sith Pureblood. Thus, I infer that the Sith holocrons are made by the Dark Jedi who colonized the Sith, which makes sense considering that it just looks like an alternative version of the Jedi holocron.

However, one clear power of the Sith holocrons is how they are able to ‘corrupt’ its user to the Dark Side. This made me wonder if the Sith Pureblood may have had artifacts and fetishes that served similar purposes in corrupting, influencing and swaying their enemies. If knowledge could be passed down through ghosts and dreams, then there is no need to spend time crafting the perfect holocron and effort could instead be focused upon creating tools of defense and offense.

It would have been very practical to create an artifact out of roots and bones, place it in places of ruin, death and grief such as places of murders, and enchant it to soak in the horrific sympathetic energies of the locales it was placed at until it becomes full, brimming with misery and torment. It could then be buried on the plot of land that a Sith’s enemy lived on, hence bringing suffering to their home and family. Something like that - something folk-ish, something requiring only skill, cunning and determination, not fanciful ceremonial rituals like the ones we see the current Siths doing - is what I believe defined the practice of the original Sith Pureblood.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Do you think Sugimoto will get any significant character development? He's my favorite character and I worry that he'll be stuck in the same place as he always has been by the end of the series.

To be honest...

I’m also among the many people who hope Sugimoto will change and who worried a lot when The report of the Golden Kamuy staff talk event 19 April 2019 came out.

That’s because in it “Noda-sensei told Geno Studio that Sugimoto was already a completed character, so they didn’t need to think too much about his growth.”

On Discord we’ve been worrying a lot if this means that Sugimoto won’t get character growth, or psychological healing or whatever.

As we don’t have the exact Japanese sentence we can’t know if it can be subjected to nuances or interpretations so we’re only left with the translation which might not be litteral.

Long story short, the translation isn’t really reassuring.

So I’ve been trying to see how other characters develop, to get some sort of reference for Sugimoto.

From what I can see it’s not like Sugimoto or the others never changed but Noda actually went at it in a much more realistic way than many other stories do.

There are assorted types of changes in a character behaviour in Golden Kamuy.

The easier to spot are the ones caused by trauma and they’re often the most drastic type.

Almost everyone in this story has a trauma that changed him or her.

Even in the last chapter we saw how Ueji transitioned from a normal kid who wasn’t good at school or particularly social and liked to play with his dog whom he deeply loved but was also hurt by his relatives pressures to the man covered in tattoos who enjoy disappointing others and who murder kids after torturing them and buries them in his garden.

The pressure, coped with the trauma of the loss of his dog, whom he believed to have been murdered by his father due to Ueji shattered him and turned him into a different person.

There are however also changes in behaviour that are spurred by facts that aren’t that terrible in nature but are actually caused by positive experiences.

Koito discovers his father actually loves for him and this pushes him to realize his own worth. He likely stopped thinking he had to die heroically to gain value in his father’s eyes or that his father would have preferred for him to die instead of his brother, and starts devoting all his efforts in the Army Academy instead than in the Naval one.

There are changes caused by the relations that the characters form.

Shiraishi originally was a selfish person who prioritized himself... however he slowly developed tight bonds with Sugimoto, Asirpa and Kiro. Even through he used to insist people have to escape alone, when he believed remaining with Kiro was dangerous he wanted to escape WITH HER and remained with her when she refused to escape. While he shrugged Kumagishi’s death off and the same is true for Nihei or Henmi, with whom he seemed to have good relations, he cried for Kiro and buried him on his own despite always attempting to skirt hard labour before.

There are changes caused by a growing awareness of the situation or, more simply, by learning something.

The story starts with Asirpa sure that she doesn’t need the gold nor does the Ainu so she can let Sugimoto first and then Shiraishi also have it all. Then Kiroranke teaches her of the situation of minorities and she realizes the gold could become a powerful toll to use to help her own people.

Koito also worshipped Tsurumi at the start of the story and pleasing him was all he cared about but then he learns Tsurumi deceived him and his father and loses that blind worship. He still trusts him but no more blindly, he wants to be sure what Tsurumi pursues would sit well with him also.

There are changes merely caused by... well, growing.

Cikapasi at first tails after Tanigaki and Inkarmat mostly because he hoped they would become his new parents. We see the way he interacts with them, he’s very much the child he is, playing and asking for money to buy sweets and depending on them to solve situation. During the travel to Karafuto he takes a more proactive role, protecting Enonoka from the wolverine, helping her to retrieve the dog, taking part to the circus act and so on until he manages to let go of Tanigaki and Inkarmat and decides to stop where he thinks he belongs. While he still has a long way to go, he has grown a lot from where he started.

Note that, except when trauma is involved, those growths don’t turn a person into another overnight but it’s a slow growing process (and even when trauma is involved they still have a transtioning time).

So, Sugimoto and his possible growth.

We know that in his past he did some changing due to trauma, one time when his family got sick and consequently died and his own village ostracized him and another when he went to war.

Even though we don’t know much about Sugimoto prior to all this, it’s clear pre-war Sugimoto is someone who likely never killed a soul and wouldn’t have been capable to think ‘I’ll kill and skin 24 convicts to get money’.

This however is the past and I’d like to think he won’t receive further traumas.

Sugimoto is an adult, so he clearly won’t get a growth caused by merely growing as, although he might underwent some more.... let’s call it tuning, most of his personality and mindset are already well shaped.

It can be that’s this what Noda means when he says he’s a complete character.

In fact Sugimoto's behaviour has changed due to relations.

When the story started he was okay with involving Asirpa, a child, in a bloody gold hunt. When he grew fond of her he tried to keep her out of it, first leaving her behind then trying to entrust her to Tsurumi.

We saw that he wasn’t really paniched about her when Tamai and Co hunted him even though Tanigaki went after her. He even paused to watch the scene and talk a little with the cub bear. Compare this to how nowadays, as soon as he’s parted from her and the situation is somewhat dangerous, he run after her screaming ‘Asirpa-san’.

But on the other side it’s possible Noda doesn’t see this as ‘personal growth’. Sugimoto might have been a person who would always react this way for the people he really cares a lot.

So what changed isn’t Sugi, it’s just his relationship with Asirpa.

What we see now when he interact with her isn’t a Sugimoto different from the start of the story, it’s just a Sugimoto who acts accoding to the deep caring he had developed. If Umeko had been there at the start of the story, we would have seen him acting with her the same he does with Asirpa.

Sugimoto’s behaviour has changed also due to awareness of the situation.

When he was told Kiro has betrayed him, he switched by being on friendly terms with him from deciding to murder him.

When Hijikata revealed his plans for the Republic of Ezo he went from desperately wanting to murder him to grudgingly accepting to cooperate with him.

But again, this is not personal change, it is adapting to the situation.

We also saw how, when he got lost, he knew what to do in order to survive out there in the wilderness because... he had learnt it from Asirpa.

So again, although he acted differently, he wasn’t a different person, just someone who knew what to do.

What I think many people would want through, is for Sugimoto to either psychologically heal or try to fix some of his character flaws.

Now... I expect Golden Kamuy to cover 28 volumes and we’re at around the ending of vol 26 so there might be not much time for Sugimoto to do either.

However I like to think there could be the possibility that Sugimoto will, at least, gain an awareness of his own problems, along with the will to try to fix them or improve himself.

This would be a giant size step for him and one that could bring him to evolve, to improve himself.

There’s who managed to get awareness of his own problems, like Inkarmat who got aware of how ‘obsessed’ she was with Wilk and unable to let him go (even though in Abashiri she still was unable to move on... but whatever, now she’s with Tanigaki and she can try doing so one step at time).

Shiraishi might have realized his goal of living life as it came, merely enjoying it, was a bit shallow and might aim for something more fulfilling.

Koito too decided in life he had to adopt an approach who was less ‘accepting blindly’ and more ‘making sure things were right’. Koito is trying to be less prejudiced and blind in his views (through Koito’s change was prompted by various things combined together an not just by self reflection).

As for Sugimoto, I think the character flaw he should correct is his overconfidence in his own opinion. Suzukawa too pointed out how when Sugimoto gets persuaded of something he brushed away everything else.

This often leads him to make mistakes.

If he could learn to reconsider his opinion or ask for other people’s input instead than just taking a decision on his own and take everything inside himself, I think for him things could improve.

He could learn for a start that the ones who love him don’t think he’s doomed to hell because he killed people in war, that they would accept him anyway, that they would go to hell with him... but also how if no one does something it’ll be impossible for Asirpa to keep her lifestyle so just telling her to turn her gaze away and go on with her life doesn’t help.

At least that’s what I hope for him.

But for now we can only wait and hope as the final part of the story unfold.

Thank you for your ask!

[cordonia]

Ethan + MC: “PUSHING DAISIES” AU: P1

Summary: Ethan Ramsey has gift that goes beyond his medical experience. With a single touch he can revive the dead for one minute before consequences take place. It’s handy, for his position at the hospital in a small town called Delarosa where crime is suddenly on the rise. Except it’s dangerous when he has the chance to revive the last girl he ever loved. Because nothing is for free. 

Warnings: This is less lighthearted than the show. Death, mention of physical attack and injuries. Also Pushing Daisies (2007-2009) is one of the best shows ever so this is your warning to watch it. 

Word Count: 1550

Ethan Ramsey was thirty-seven years, twenty weeks, four days and fifteen minutes old. He was unlike most of the people who inhabited the small town he had lived in all of his life. At a very young age he had learned more about the balance of the universe than anyone he had ever met. He had suffered because of the ignorance around him, but it meant that he could stay, possibly forever. 

Perhaps it also meant that he could not leave, the risk too great to expose to a greater audience than the regulars in his life. Thinking about it that way only made him feel trapped.

There were only two people who knew of his capabilities, one being June Hirata who was the director of Diagnostic Medicine until two years prior when the program had shut down. Believe it or not, there was little need for a diagnostic team when there were fewer than ten thousand people in their hometown. Ethan was moved to head of Trauma and June was head of Neurology, and while those titles sounded exciting, they were both too good for the very small hospital. 

A lot had happened in the past two years, including Mariana Valentine leaving their hometown. Leaving him. 

“Call it.” June’s tone was firm, and the resident who followed her around like a puppy hesitantly exited the room. Ethan stood still, his whole body attuned to only one person in the room. He couldn’t look away. 

Mariana wasn’t supposed to be here. She shouldn’t have been lying on the gurney, head trauma severe enough that the resident had almost thrown up. One good blow with a weapon and she was gone within two hours. This was not how he was supposed to remember her, the last memory he would ever have. 

He couldn’t breathe. 

“Go grab some coffee, Ethan. I’ll finish everything here.” 

This was not an offer she would make under any other circumstance, she only ever volunteered her puppy. Lahela, to name him, something that Ethan should have gotten better at doing. There were many things he was supposed to do and change. There always felt like there would be more time. 

Mariana was an unexpected threat to his perception of reality. There was always time, until there wasn’t. 

“Leave, Ethan.” That was a warning. 

“Why is she here?” His voice didn’t waver, but his legs threatened to falter. Something seemed fitting about falling to his knees, but for what purpose? He did not need to pray when what he dreamed of asking for was woven into the tips of his fingers. 

“Don’t pretend like I would know. She was attacked on Mirani Drive, that’s all that they got out of Aveiro before he was called off again. The police will probably come in to question her, I’ll let them know she didn’t make it.” 

“She was only a street away from her parents house.” 

He could feel June’s stare burn through him, but he still couldn’t look away. He took a step closer to the bed and reached out-- 

“Ethan, I did not sign up for what happens when you watch her die again.” 

His gaze snapped to Dr. Hirata and she took a deep breath when she saw his expression. She was always stubborn, and exceptional at whatever job she had in front of her. But she was not God. And in that moment, it would take absolute proof of a higher power forbidding him one touch, to stop him.  

“Why doesn’t she deserve justice, just like the others?”

Dr. Hirata shook her head slowly, sighing. “You don’t know the others like you know her. I know that she was your best friend once, and you know that one minute will never be enough!”

One touch, anywhere upon her skin and her eyes would open to him for the first time in a long time. He couldn’t remember the last time they had touched, it felt like a betrayal to everything he felt for her. He owed her the truth, it couldn’t really be too late. 

“One minute is all that I want.” A lie. He wanted an entire lifetime. 

“Fine, but I’m not leaving.” She crossed her arms and stepped back into the corner, looking away from Ethan and the bed. June did not enjoy watching all laws of the universe being thrown out the window, even if she agreed that it helped in criminal cases.  

He reached for Mariana’s cheek and then pulled his hand back. Nothing felt quite appropriate, not when their friendship never involved a physical relationship in any form. Mostly. One single memory disrupted that truth. But they had not spoken in some time, so he reached out again and did not hesitate to put his hand in hers. 

Before there was a gasp for air, her hand tightened in his. But he had to let go. 

Fifty-nine seconds. 

“Mariana,” he entreated, almost breathless. “You’re at Delarosa General, you were attacked and I need to know who hurt you.” 

“Ethan,” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes wide and alert, “you found me.” 

Mariana Valentine; twenty-eight years, forty weeks, three days and two hours old. She would only grow one minute older. 

“We don’t have much time. Do you know what happened to you?” 

“Oh.” Mariana shook her head. She brought both of her hands to her face, wiping away at the tears that immediately formed. She felt no pain, Ethan knew that, but the agony written across her face was not physical. “It’s all over, isn’t it?”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know why this happened,” Ethan lamented, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. He wanted to wrap himself around her and promise that this was the end of all pain, the beginning of eternity. 

Except his next touch would be the last and he did not know if death was an end or a beginning. He had no way to console her and no promises to make, only a heavy and permanent fate when his skin next brushed against hers. When he touched her again, she was dead for good.

His gift was often cruel, but he felt forsaken by all good in the universe. He had already lost his mother because of what he could do, he was surely being punished. He could not explain it any other way. 

“Tell my parents I’m sorry I went for that walk. I should have stayed home. And Ethan...” She looked away, her eyes catching June leaning against the wall. “I wanted to come back, I missed you and I missed my parents. I would have come back to you.”

“Every minute of our friendship changed me, I want you to know that.” He didn’t know what else to say, there was too much to filter through in seconds. 

That was their conclusion, a harrowing and blood soaked finale with no assurance of justice. One single minute on a gurney that ended as quickly as it began.

“Ethan,” June commanded. 

“No.” He didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice.

Two seconds was no time to argue, and June was a survivor as much as she could be a fighter. She left so quickly that the room seemed to shudder upon her exit. 

“Ethan.” His name came from Mariana’s lips. She looked up at him in fear and confusion, and the weight of his choice had a tight grip around his throat. 

He didn’t know what to say. Their time was up, seconds past, and an alteration in the universe was completed. A life for a life. Mariana Valentine breathed because somewhere close by them, someone had just taken their last breath.

June, he thought as the panic burned in every vein. Guilt from every area of his life began to resurface, a compilation of every life he bruised, betrayed or buried. Who had he sacrificed to alter fate? This was not the person he wanted to be, the one he convinced himself he could be. He had never been more selfish in any minute of his life. 

“I’m still alive,” she cried, “what did you do?” She wasn’t angry or upset, rather overwhelmed with shock. 

“I couldn’t let you go, you were supposed to have more time.” His shame slowly evolved into a guilt ridden relief. She was safe, breathing against all odds and completely unaware of how complicated her life was about to become simply because she lived. 

There was one thing she had already considered, the beginning and end of her life after death. Ethan’s touch. 

“You can never touch me again.” She knew that something changed between then as soon as it was spoken aloud. Perhaps the one thing they hadn’t gotten the chance to explore; touch. 

He could recall almost every time their shoulders grazed when they watched documentaries together. Or when she covered his hands with hers and promised him he had a purpose. The very first and only time they had ever kissed held permanent real estate in multiple parts of his brain. The last time he was completely and purely content, unbeknownst to anyone in his life, was that kiss. 

They would never kiss again. 

And then, like an alarm during a ceremony, a scream sounded off throughout the trauma centre. The consequences found Ethan before he could find them.

“Declan Nash isn’t breathing!” 

Note: If there is any interest for me to continue this, I have a whole plan in place for the story. Also, it only makes sense for me to include some characters over others based on their value to the circumstances of this AU (not to Open Heart in general). I’m keeping what characters I think would fit into the story well and using other names in the story as places and so on. This would have lighter moments if I continued, the sad is out of the way...

Tagging: @ethandaddyramsey @binny1985 @openheart12 @bellcat2010 @edith-eggs1 @missmiimiie @queenofspades6 @schnitzelbutterfingers @longneckramsey @queencarb @kaavyaethanramsey @mkamra2355 @ethxnrxmsey whimsicalreader @jooous @blazerina @choices-lurker @itsgoingnuts @lilyvalentine @aworldoffandoms @choices-love-affair @nooruleman @junehiratas

[nopanamaman]

So what’s really up with those demon and angel characters?

I’m gonna say right off the bat - this isn’t an explanation of the song series I used these two for. In fact, the songs featuring these characters on their covers have surprisingly little to do with one another! I just liked the simple designs and drew them whenever it felt appropriate. I tried thinking of an actual story to tie them all together around the time I made The Heartwarming Story Of My Creation, but it was so messy and full of edge that I promptly scrapped it lol

HOWEVER!

These characters DO come from a short novel/comic idea I had way before starting vocaloid. It was a rather silly concept for a slice-of-life story, which could potentially evolve into something with an actual plot!

~So here it is~  

It all takes place in a world where having a demonic servant is treated as the norm. In fact, not having a personal demon is considered weirder than having one! There are ads for various contracting agencies, different demon ratings, demons who specialize in different services etc., etc. It’s not uncommon for parents to bind their child’s soul to a demon as soon as the baby is born, though it’s often done a bit later in life (however, if you’re under 18, you can make a contract only with special permission from your guardian).

Since everyone and their mother has a being with reality-bending powers at their side, the servants have very strict limitations on what they can and can’t do. At base level the overwhelming majority of them boil down to being an extremely efficient houseworker - they are restricted to doing stuff like chores, buying things, helping with communication, keeping company, changing their own appearance to suit the customer’s tastes (a lot of people stick with the demon’s default monochrome-human-with-horns-and-tail form, though, since that’s what they’ve grown used to) changing the clients appearance (usually not to an unrecognizable degree), being a bodyguard, etc.

There are ways of lifting some of those limitations by binding more than one soul to a single demon (but the servant will continue to fully obey only one person). So the most powerful demons tend to be familial - those who have been passed on from parents to their children over the course of generations. The most influential people in the world have extremely strong familial demons.

Truly powerful familial demons are rare, because: 

the parent may not have tied the child’s soul to the familial demon before dying

by the time most parents die, their children have already gotten a servant of their own

the child doesn’t want to accept the familial demon for personal reasons

Some people are hesitant or straight-up opposed to the idea of getting a servant, since, while demons never disclose any details about the process of soul consumption or, for that matter, anything about the afterlife, it’s widely understood to be hellish. The thing is, it’s unclear whether “happy” afterlife even exists - unlike demons, heavenly beings like god or angels or even ghosts do not manifest in the physical world. Some believe that there is no paradise at all, and the only two options for the soul after the body dies are being consumed by a demon and continuing its existence in that particular demon’s “hell” or simply disappearing. The lack of information about what really happens after death makes many people brush off the consequences of making a contract in favour of living a much more safe and comfortable life.

SO

Like I said in the beginning, the comic was supposed to be a series of slice-of-life episodes involving a group of demon friends and their clients (with Kafka being the focus). I didn’t develop them that much, so their characters were pretty simple!

Since demons’ actual names are near impossible for humans to pronounce, they tend to settle for nicknames. They are primarily genderless, but usually present themselves as either male or female for convenience sake; they can change gender according to their client’s wishes. Like humans, every demon is an individual and, while their baseline powers are the same, depending on their heritage, talent and the way they use the souls they consume, their higher-tier abilities and battle styles may differ wildly. Generally it is considered rude to ask a demon what their higher abilities are - even good friends may not know the real extent of each other’s power.

Making contracts with humans and serving their clients for an entire lifetime to them is basically like a regular customer service-type job. Their moral beliefs are a bit different than those of humans, so, while humans can grow very attached to their servants, the demons themselves feel little to no remorse about consuming their clients’ souls. In a way it’s similar to how people treat farm animals. The animal can be cute and you may appreciate the times spent with it, but in the end you’re not going to be too torn up about eating it. 

While demons live for a long time and technically do not require human souls to survive, consuming a human soul is the highest form of pleasure for them - not only does it boost and replenish their power, but also gives immense spiritual fulfillment. A demon living purely off of animal souls will always be much, much weaker than a demon who has eaten a single human soul over the course of the last 100 or so years.

Oh, but what about the angel girl? 

Angels don’t manifest in the real world, right?

Right?

R I G H T ?

Right.

Levi was another important character (woah, shocking), second only to Kafka. They were a familial demon, who had been growing displeased with the way their client - the most recent heir - had been conducting his life. Kafka had a strange, vaguely hostile, but close relationship with Levi.

I had a few ideas about what I want do with the story, but it’s definitely not something I can fully dedicate myself to currently. Still, I think it’s a fun, kinda nonsensical concept that I’d like to use in the future. Or not!

At least now that I’ve thrown it out there

[atimefordragons]

[ T S E S A R E V N A  ... ]

My incomplete audition for Gem Quest, didn’t have the time to participate properly, let alone finish my audition from all the other groups (yeah, I don’t know what time management is and have no idea how to pace myself). 

“В небе далеком горит звезда, | In distant heaven star shines Не одинока и не одна | It's not alone and not the one Каждый себе выбирает путь | Everyone choose their own way И она не даст свернуть | And star won't allow them to turn Не закрывай глаза | Don't close your eyes Смотри она ведет тебя.. | Look, it leads you...”

-  Звезда (Dima Bilan ft Anna Belan)

Real Name: Yekatrina “Katya/Rina” Anatolyevna Raevskaya

Age: 26

FC: Alia Bhatt

Species & Class: Dragonborn & Mage-Knight

Guild: Moonstone

Description of In-Game Powers: (what their fantasy species lets them do, basically, and all the associated drawbacks)

A dragonborn is a cross-bred species, born from the bloodline of either a human or an elf, and a Great Dragon (highly evolved, ancient dragons that can cast spells, and shit, and even speak the human tongue). Because great dragons are rare, most dragonborn are second generation or later. In the case of Tsesarevna, an ice dragon and a human (not a first gen).

Dragonborns have a natural affinity for magic, particularly elemental, even more specifically for the element of the dragon type whose blood they inherited, in the case of Tsesarevna, frozen water related magic, ice, frost, snow.

Place of Birth: Saint Petersburg, Russian Federation

Appearance: (optional textual description/notes of wardrobe, features not represented by fc, etc)

Places Most Likely to be Found In-Game: Level 20 - A Midwinter Night’s Dream (I see what you did there Ayz) and Level 38 - Murias Pass (the snow reminds her of home, ya know. The cold never bothered me anyway), also sometimes Level 39 - The Dragon, but she’s technically stuck on that level because she refuses to kill the Dragon, issa zaldrīzo ānogar.

Current Inventory:

History Book: The Dragon King Festival

Strongest character trait: eurovision knowledge Confidence (in herself and some others)

Strengths: Katya is almost surprisingly determined, it contradicts with the rest of her “I’ve never had to work hard to get what I want in my life” type personality, but she is persevering and stubborn, when she wants something, she won’t stop until she gets it. Which in her real life was never very difficult getting.  

Weaknesses: Where to even start? Spoiled Princess Brat (she has never not gotten what she wants in her life, and it shows), impatient, impulsive, not exactly a team player (I mean, she is now, but that shady shit she pulled back when she first started playing kinda got her a rep), arrogant, prideful, kind of a bitch (doesn’t really think of it as a weakness, but ya know, it’s hard to make friends), dragon obsession (refuses to kill dragons, even in order to advance the game, got herself and party members killed early on in the game ‘cause of it), kind of an adrenaline junkie, and reckless af. She doesn’t really consider the consequences of the game, wholeheartedly believes her dad, fam and connections in the real world will get her out soon enough, so has no problem running head first into fire (”I’m too hot to die in a video game”).

Player Stats: (on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the weakest, 10 being the strongest. try to balance it out!)

STRENGTH: 9

DEFENSE: 7

CHARISMA: 3

PSYCHE: 5

WILLPOWER: 9

CAUTIOUSNESS: 2

AGILITY: 5

ENDURANCE: 7

INTELLIGENCE: 8

LUCK: 4

Personality:  “Haven’t you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch before?”

Haha, yeah, but mostly, she’s just a massive nerd. She’s such a fucking nerd. Bitch learned Quenya and Sindarin just for kicks, and her own amusement. Literally no one else in her irl circle even fucking knows what those two things are (Elvish tongues in Tolkien).

As the baby of a two large families, and the only daughter of a Russian oligarch, Katya is incredibly spoiled, and very much self-centered. Something of a downplayed celebutante, she is not quite as present at every single high society, high fashion event in Russia, or elsewhere in Europe, she only goes to a handful. And really only for the free stuff, she loves stuff. Katya maintains a somewhat disinterested high social status, as she is the daughter of a major industrialist, and friends with other, higher profile wealthy Russian heirs and heiresses, and there are benefits (so many), but she isn't quite interested in attaining spotlight or attention. However, she also perceives it as something that is just naturally part of her life. She uses a lot of hand gestures when speaking, and tends to give off a naive-princessy vibe who seems to think the world revolves around her. Which, to be fair, it does in her house -she does know that it doesn’t actually, but ya know, can’t quite turn off that bitch, I’m a princess mindset.

“I don’t skate through life... I walk through life. In really nice shoes.” - Alexis Rose (Schitts’ Creek 3.04)

Notably, she speaks with a vocal fry when speaking English. She says “like” a lot, has a bit of a condescending tone, but, she like, does care. About a lot of stuff, but also humanity in general. Spoiled baby she may be, she does have a moral compass, and was amongst the public figures who signed an open letter against the Saint Petersburg Anti-”Gay Propaganda” bill (it’s some bullshit about “protecting” minors from “non-traditional sexual relationships”). She believes in doing the right thing, that the goal of any organization or even person should just be to decrease the net suffering of humanity, but also, she is a super proud Russian. Very anti-american, thinks they’re all stupid, always says shady shit in Russian whenever she runs into americans online. However, it’s not like she’s a fan of United Russia (Putin’s party), they’re right-wing nutjobs, she does not like them. Her main political party is A Just Russia, who are much less then left than her (officially, they be centre-left), but they’re the only ones (of her favoured parties) who have seats in the State Duma (the lower house of the Federal Assembly, Russia’s legislative body - the Duma is like parliament, or congress, I think, I don’t really know what congress is tbh, house of representatives maybe? Idk, the place where Nancy Pelosi is charge, equivalent to that). Katya also supports Patriots of Russia, a socialist, left-wing party, but they only have seats in regional parliaments, and only one seat in the Federation Council (similar to the senate, the upper house of Russia’s legislative body). There’s also Russia of the Future, but it’s not been formally registered yet. In the 2018 election she voted for the communist party’s candidate just for kicks (it’s different in Russia, there’s was zero possibility of Putin losing, come on, grow up).

As a side note, if this helps with the explainary-stuff, I basically envision her as a slavic-desi cross of Alexis Rose from Schitts’ Creek, and Gina Linetti from Brooklyn-99, also this hindi song; Sheila ki Jawani. The song is basically about owning the fact that you’re super sexy.

Biography: Katya is half-Russian, half-Indian, born to a Russian father, industrialist (and oligarch) Anatoli Ivanovich Raevsky, and an Indian mother, activist and journalist Mishti Syeda Khan. Her parents eventually separated, though technically are still married, when she was about 14, and her mother moved to Manchester in the UK, while Katya remained in Russia with her father. Katya is from a large family, on both sides, and at the time of her birth, was the first baby to be born in quite a few years (the elder cousins were like tween-teen, too old be constantly coddled and cuddled, and too young to make babies), so she was hella spoiled by everyone. The problems her maternal family had with her mother marrying a non-Muslim white boy? Well, we still hate him, but look how cute Rina is.

Despite the... complications between her family members - the whole religion/marrying a shada (white) boy thing, not to mention that Mishti herself is like agnostic at “best”, in general, as the baby, Katya (or Rina as her mother and maternal family call her), get along - well, okay, there’s always the shady auntieji’s, and bullshit drama, but like, that’s just brown families yo. We like that. We’re all 100% those bitches (see ya at Eid Nanu [grandma], ya messy bitch). While there is some distance between Katya and her mother, metaphorically and literally, she really does look up to her mother and her work, and followed in her footsteps, studying journalism at Moscow State University, and moving on to work at Известия (Izvestia), the “national” paper of Russia, formerly the state newspaper of the Soviet Union. Currently, she’s a glorified fact checker, and maintains the website with a handful of other colleagues. She’s also authored small “puff pieces” for Nedelya (a weekly Friday section about leisure actives, culture, that kinda stuff).

Katya is not exactly an avid gamer. She likes games, but it’s not like a 24/7 thing, whereas she is 24/7 thinking about like ASOIAF or Stars Wars (fuck you JJ, you were supposed to destroy the Sith R*ylo, not join them), not to mention Eurovision. Anyone who thinks Eurovision only lasts for a week is a fake fan, and anyone who thinks it’s a one day thing is an american. Ziben ziben ilulu motherfucker. Anyway.... she prefers immersive, high fantasy worlds, she likes the story and plot, so her types of games are The Witcher and Dragon Age Series, Elder Scrolls, that sort of thing. She doesn’t put in daily hours, ‘cause she got other stuff to do, but will dedicate weekends to leveling up her characters in order to accomplish quests and missions quickly and not waste time to get to the story cut scenes. She hates, hates, hatessss microtransactions and those stupid fucking mmorpg phone games which are literally just farmville repackaged with a dragon or an orc; FUCK YOU. What a fucking waste of time, quit advertising as having a plot and story, or cool character customization, ‘cause you don’t have any of that you basic ass bitch!

Gem Quest was regifted to Katya by a coworker, who had gotten it as a present, but didn’t have a VR set (of course she had one, she’s rich, and also she needed it to play Batman: Arkham VR - she’s still waiting on a game that’ll let her make out with Nightwing while playing as a custom character). She got a bit of a bad rep (understatement) in the beginning of the game. Katya hates being stuck because she doesn’t have enough exp or whatever, so she always levels up in the beginning of a game before taking the time to fuck around and do whatever, which, in the case of Gem Quest, means teaming up is the easiest way to do that. So, whenever a party member was holding them back from leveling up, she would straight up kill them in order to move on. She killed her own irl friends, to be fair, she doesn’t do that anymore, that was just in the beginning, but ya know, the rep of being that bitch kinda hard to get of.

G.’s announcement didn’t particularly freak out Katya. Whatever kind of evil Kaiba Corp execs bullshit he was pulling didn’t matter, he still had a body out there in the real world, and there’s no fucking way her dad would let die in a fucking game. There’s perks to being Oligarchs in Russia, and even if she did die in-game and was unable to return to reality, wherever G. and his real body were, motherfucker will die in excruciating pain. Polonium-210 ain’t pleasant, and the Novichok series is so much worse.

Relationships: (OPTIONAL, fill out whenever you want to)

Silverwing - rn. Anastasia “Anya” Gagarina (fc: Anna Belan), a fellow moonstone, and real life friend - well, the younger sister of an ex-boyfriend whom she still gets along with (the sister, not necessarily the ex).

Inferna - I don’t really have any plotting ideas, but Inferna’s whole; “It’s very important that I am both cute and powerful” is so relatable (to me and Katya xp)

Enthroned -

Morningstar -

Extras/Trivia (aka unnecessary information):  

Her mother, and thus maternal family, are from Kolkata, in the state of West Bengal in India, thus making Katya fluent (relatively) in Bengali as well (well, a dialect of it - West Central, you’d think as an actual Bengali person, I’d know the proper name of it, but nope. Idk, shudobasha maybe, but I think that’s for people from Dakha, which is in Bangladesh, not India. Whatever. Not like my dad will check this and be disappointed in me.)

Apart from her native Russian, Hindi, and Bengali, she speaks English, and Japanese (100% learned it because she’s a weeb), as well as the fictional languages; Quenya, Sindarin (and can use the Tengwar script to write them), High Valyrian, Mando’a, Dovazhul, and Klingon. As a teenager she also created a dictionary for ancient “Black Speech”, an in-universe constructed language in Tolkien’s legendarium, but her version is not canon, so it doesn’t count - she’s also forgotten a lot of it. She was a baby, she still has the hard copy she made somewhere in the Raevsky Manor in Saint Petersburg.  

After graduating from MSU, her father bought her, her own apartment in the Kudrinskaya Square Building in Moscow, adjacent to the ones he owned already, which she had lived in when she moved to Moscow for school. 

Katya’s family is religiously mixed (well, she’s the one who’s mixed), her maternal family are largely Muslim, some Hindu (very few though, like, you can count them on one hand), and her paternal family are either Orthodox Christian or atheist (usually depending on how long they were alive and how into the Soviet Regime they were). Katya’s parents are agnostic (Mishti), and atheist (Anatoli), Katya herself is also atheist, but sometimes she’ll say she prays to the Seven or R’hllar, or Lord Jashin, or some other made up nerd ass religion (’cause she that bitch).

But for real, she can be a real bitch about religion. The Soviets got a lot wrong, but banning religion was not one of them <- so she says. She gets super pissed when someone brings up religion during a politics chat, that fake shit should have nothing to do with running a country. 

hates starbucks with every fibre of her being, it’s such an american staple and the first time she saw one in Russia, she nearly had a heart attack.

Will die mad about:

The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker; the fuck was that bullshit? We trusted you JJ! 

the garbage show’s gaslighting and murder of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Rightful Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Queen of Meereen, The Prince who was Promised, The Unburnt, Slayer of Lies, Breaker of Shackles, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, and Mother of Dragons.

Hrithik Roshan still being so fucking hot (he’s 45, please like chill a little, holy fuck)

Catarina de Lurton dying 

Former american politician John McCain constantly saying “Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country” - bitch, we’re a thousand years old, how’s your 250 year old failed experiment of a garbage nation going? 

Freud.

Links:

Playlist

Pinterest

Urstyle Collection (aesthetics, and other shit)

Social Media

[smollesttony]

MORE SPOILERS

okay im remembering new stuff to talk about now that its morning. let’s see...

• valkyrie is now queen of asgard and that’s fucking awesome

• i did not actually like that all female scene that much, it felt a little forced and like a different version of the one in infinity war to me, but aesthetically and for people that make multi women videos wow thats a powerful one and it didn’t bother me so yay

• tony dying right after getting all he ever wanted? after pepper and him got married and had morgan and bought a house in the country and he was happy and living a “simple” life? not cool. but it was so well done, with everyone he loved there (except morgan but thas good cuz the kid should not watch this)... btw the way his relationship with morgan work, the little “that’s your mother’s word, she coined it” and the “bribe”, the i love you 3000, the talking to pepper about his problems and doubts, pepper being understanding and loving him for all of who he is unconditionally and him doing the same... damn so many emotions

• also an encounter in which they could have played the cry card when howard met tony, because howard wasn’t a good parent and all that, and tony is forgiving and says he only remembers the good parts and hugs him and yeah i cried anyway but it was a good cry not a fuck why are they torturing him cry

• imma say it again because im not over it: THE DISCUSSION ABOUT STEVE ROGERS’ ASS. what i took from it was: tony stark has been checked (reads thirsted for) steve’s ass since 2012 and watched in awe as it evolved into the masterpiece it is today; scott lang has a lil crush on Captain America and still can’t believe they’ve met; steve rogers would fuck his clone no like it was nobody’s business

• idk if i mentioned this but pepper in an iron suit??? goddamnit i loved it. she won’t become the new iron-woman or whatever i think because she’s gotta take care of morgan and she probably is rightfully done with this shit, but she’s keeping it for protection for sure.

• natasha and clint’s fight for who would sacrifice themselves was epic btw. it was beautiful because they are so close, they’re much more than friends, brother and sister, whatever. they love each other so so much and i loved this angle. i hope they focus on budapest in her movie (because obviously it’s gonna happen in the past)

• steve rogers taking all the criticism and accepting it because he now sees why tony was so desperate, because now he sees the consequences of his actions, because now he sees how this truly affected everyone and especially tony. tony goes at captain america himself when he’s bone thin, receiving nutrients in the vein, weaker than he’s ever been, after being beaten up by him. that’s courage. steve doesn’t attack him in any way, actually he looks pained and even a bit guilty to see tony like this, and that’s remorse and respect.

• okay here’s what i think about stephen and tony: stephen grew mad respect for the guy because he knew the only one who’d be able to do such a sacrifice, who’d think fast enough, jeopardise their pwn well being, last enough for it to work, was tony motherfucking stark. i still ship them because maybe yes he ended up liking tony way more than he wished he did during the many futures he saw. also you can see stephen doesn’t exactly look giddy when he tells tony, it’s time.

• THE STONES ARE GONE FOREVER FUCKING FINALLY. seriously. hallelujah.

• gamora absolutely being an angel and helping her sister because they have a future, nebula shooting herself without hesitation to defend her sister (and the universe)

• quill and gamora’s interaction was predictable and nostalgic in a good way, plus nebula’s comment was amusing

• so much comedy in this movie. i’d say it was one fourth sadness, one fourth comedy, one fourth fluff and reunions, and one fourth action and hasn’t this what we all wanted in the first place?

• freyja is fucking awesome

• rocket saved the day and it made me happy tbh

• hulk not being able to be HULK SMASH anymore

• AVENGERS ASSEMBLE FUCKING FINALLY

• i am iron-man as he’s about to sacrifice himself once again

• tony stark was happy for a good five years and im already glad

• watch me read and write fluffy happy fanfiction for those five years and the same for an alternate reality in which he did not die from it just nearly

• steve crying over tony

• i love steve again?? this is magical honestly

• steve playing the bucky is alive card against himself btw lol

thas it for now

[made-in-the-hallway]

Doomed romance

Word count: 3.500

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Childhood memories and heartbreak

Here it is!! Another completed request. I have to admit that this is the longest I have ever written for this blog and I would love to hear your thoughts on this one.  I changed it up a bit from the original request but I hope that doesn’t pose a problem. Once again, feedback is appreciated and here is a big thank you to all of you who show your love and support for this account. (Hugs you tight). Do tell me if you’d like to see a part 2 of this! Till next time, lots of kisses! (Gif’s not mine or I would be dead / Masterlist)...

“Harry, your snacks are ready dear!”

“Yes, momma I am comin’”

Little Harry always had a soft spot for sweets and snacks, especially if they came from his very skillful mother, Anne, who always put her heart and soul into anything she would find herself wrapped up in doing. It was one of her many traits that made her along with the lovely companion of her two radiant children, Harry and Gemma, stand out and have a tremendous relationship with all of their neighbours around them.

Speaking of neighbours, right next to their little house, a new family had just moved in. they hadn’t been around more than one week. Every single day of that week, Anne would notice huge carton boxes being carried and a lot of different people going in and out of the house. Those signals were enough for her to automatically acknowledge that the house next to their own was sold and ready to host new members.

The house’s older landlord was an acquaintance of Anne and her kids of course. It was no other than Miss Jefferson, a grown-up but friendly lady, who would always treat Harry and Gemma with a steaming cup of tea and a mouth-watering piece of lemon pie; the one she was so popular for in the neighbourhood. Anne was always eager to help Miss Jefferson with some domestic chores, for her age didn’t allow her to be much productive and quick with her daily tasks. In return, Miss Jefferson would offer her a pleasant seat in her small garden along with her famous tea and pie.

Day were rolling by smoothly and little Harry and Gemma were delighted to pay a visit to Miss Jefferson and gaze at the beautiful flowers that adorned her garden space. But time is always picky and quick to take our favourite people and take them to some other place, perhaps more beautiful than the one they were previously living in. thus, the news of Miss Jefferson’s death travelled to Anne’s house as well meaning that her house was up for sale.

“What will happen to her garden?”, Gemma would worry, due to the adoration she held for that particular spot in Jefferson’s house.

“We will watch after them until the next family who comes and lives next to us will do so” was Anne’s answer just to reassure Gemma the flowers wouldn’t tilt and eventually die anytime soon.

And so it happened. After one month of arrivals and departures of people who inspected the home had passed, one particular family arrived to the building and decided it was a bargain. With a few retouches and a lot of patience and hard work this would soon be a small castle for the family’s little princess to live in. Anne did notice that a certain member would bring much more joy and laughter to their small neighbourhood and presumably, in their own family as well.

Small Y/N wasn’t very fond of her parents’ decision to switch houses and consequently leave her old life and friends behind. She thought that she would be lonely and it would be extremely hard to get accustomed to her new surroundings without knowing a single person at that place.

“But that’s the point of it all sweetheart. You won’t lose contact with Patty and Rachel and you will have the chance to meet new kids as well!” her mother would try to reason with her in order to make her spirits lift a tad bit.

‘Yeah right’ Y/N would instantly snap back and her father would stifle a chuckle at her daughter’s stubbornness.

“She got that from you I am positive” his wife would point out and Y/N father, Mr. Y/L/N would place a loving kiss on her forehead.

This tenderness they shared in their family was brought to their new home as well. Y/N had a hard time trying to picture every new detail in that new place she would soon call home. One thing she liked though was her new bedroom. Her previous room was a small one and it was stuffed with toys and colouring books. She had carried everything with her for she wanted to keep herself busy when she would return home from school and she knew she would be bored out of her mind.

What really caught her attention though, was the big window attached to her room. She wasted no time moving towards it and looking outside. She had a full view of the sky sprawled at her feet to gaze whenever she pleased. She also had a good view of the house opposite of hers. At that time, she could clearly make out a little curly haired boy who was jumping up and down on his bed. Just as she was about to adjust the curtain, the yet unknown boy turned his head and acknowledged her presence. He then picked up his hand and waved at her. She was caught off guard at first but she waved back as well, making the little boy offer her a smile. Maybe she wouldn’t be alone in this neighbourhood after all.

“Momma who is that new girl in Miss Jefferson’s house?” Harry asked Anne after his little encounter with the new girl.

“Oh, that must be the daughter of our new neighbours darling. A new family will be living next to us!” Anne explained to her son and he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Does that mean that we will see her again?”

“Of course sweetheart. As a matter of fact, I was thinking to stop by in the afternoon and to give them a welcome cake”

“Can I join please?” Harry begged his mother and his sister chimed in.

“Looks like little Harry wants to meet someone again! I seeeeee” Gemma hinted and Harry turned crimson red.

“Shut up old Gem.. Momma can I come?”

“Only if you apologise to your sister for your language young mister. Maybe Gem wants to accompany too” Anne said, offering a warm smile at her daughter.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world”.

Harry was awaiting for the afternoon to come so he would meet this new girl properly. He really liked that she waved back at him when he did that gesture first. He believed they would make very good friends with her. Maybe they would attend the same school as well! Harry had a few friends from school of course but he was always up for meeting new people and befriending them. He really wished his new neighbor would like their small town and hoped she would let him get close to her and be her friend. Not once did he poison his mind with the possibility that this new girl wouldn’t be pleased with their visit and his suggestion to become friends.

So when he rang the bell of Miss Jefferson’s house he wasn’t prepared to see the girl opening the door. Y/N wasn’t ready at all as well to find the waving boy at her doorstep. But she found herself being happy to see him again. Right on queue, her parents appeared from behind her and greeted Anne and the two new faces.

“Well, hello there! We would be lying if we told you we expected you! Come on in!”, Y/M/N said joyfully and shook the woman’s hand.

“Well, I baked a welcome cake for you. Besides, it is our tradition when a new family settles down in our town!” Anne explained and walked further into the house.

“I am Harry and this is my sister Gemma” Harry hurriedly introduced himself to the girl and hugged her.

“And I am Y/N. Wanna see my room guys? It has an amazing view, I swear you will love it!” Y/N beamed and started climbing up the stairs not minding the adults’ conversation already evolving.

“Imma take a seat with the grown ups” said Gemma and laughed at her little brother and his attempts to get to know Y/N better.

“Suit yourself” Y/N said and navigated Harry through the upper part of the house, finally reaching the door which led to her room.

Harry followed suit behind her and when he entered her room he couldn’t but spot the frames on her small desk which decorated it and added a personal touch to it. They contained photographs of different events Y/N and her family had attended in the past along with birthday photographs.

“I don’t know if you had noticed before, but your nose is cakey in this one!” Harry couldn’t help but notice and shout at Y/N who had her head turned towards her bed to see if it had all of her stuffed animals.

“What? No way!”, Y/N exclaimed and moved to where Harry was standing only to see for herself that her nose was indeed covered with a bit of cake.

“Well, I guess my nose was a bit hungry as well” she said shrugging and Harry giggled at her statement. Just then, he noticed the window form where they had waved at each other earlier.

“Hey, we can communicate from our windows! They are pretty close!”

“Yes I know! It is the first time I have a window so big all to myself” Y/N truthfully said and Harry grinned.

“Well, seems like I have to be careful from now on since you will be watching my every move” Harry fake-sighed and turned his attention to Y/N.

“I will be watching your every move. Be warned” Y/N joked and nudged Harry’s shoulder playfully.

“Well, how do you like it so far here?” Harry inquired and Y/N started to tell him how afraid she was at first of her new town and home. She even began to express her fears of not having new friends and being all alone at school. While she was telling of that to Harry, she realized how stupid or naïve she might have sounded to Harry, her first new friend. But he was listening carefully to her worries and he made sure to be her friend so that she wouldn’t be alone. It would be even easier when she told him the name of the school she would be going to so he was thrilled to be with her friend there as well.

Their first conversation was sadly cut short though when Anne’s voice echoed all the way to Y/N’s room signaling that it was time for them to let the new family rest, although Y/N’s family insisted on staying some more.

“We live next door so we won’t lose touch. Besides, time went by quick and the kids need to wake up tomorrow for school!” Anne politely declined their offer to stay longer and right after Harry and Y/N said their goodbyes, they were off to their own house.

“Wait for me outside your porch so we can go together to school. It is not far!” Harry shouted at Y/N while walking down the road and Y/N nodded her head signaling that she would do just that.

“Seems like you needn’t worry about new friends anymore”, her dad commented and Y/N smiled to herself thinking that indeed, she had no reason to worry anymore about making new friends for she already had made one.

The next day she was waiting for Harry at the exact spot he had told her the day before and he made sure not to let Y/N wait too long. Y/N was delighted to have someone by her side, especially when she knew no one and it was her first days there. Harry always made her feel comfortable and happy by telling her jokes and filling her in on the other kids at school. The most thrilling part though was when they would return from school. Either Y/N or Harry would go to each other’s house and do their homework together and play afterwards. They would spend most of their time together either playing in their room or in the playground. Their parents were quick to observe that their kids were stuck to the hip and they would make very good friends.

“Do you think we will be friends forever?” Harry had asked Y/N over a fourth round of a Disney movie playing in the background.

“No” Y/N answered truthfully and Harry’s vision started to get blurry. “I see us as best friends forever!”

Harry’s face instantly lit up and he hugged Y/N so tight not really caring about the bowl of popcorn falling onto the floor. He had taken a liking in Y/N that he really wanted her as a friend. And having her tell him that she thought of them as best friends really made his whole night. Anne who was watching after them from her spot in the kitchen knew they would keep being good friends in the years ahead and she couldn’t be more right.

When Y/N and Harry entered Junior High School, they were still best friends, not breaking up their tradition of gathering in one house and study together or just being lazy. They knew their friendship was to last and they had no intention of letting go anytime soon. Sometimes, they would go some days without talking but they would make up for it either by sleepovers or just long strides along the outline of their homes. They knew that they couldn’t be separated for long for they thought someone would miss something from the other’s day. And they had sworn they would go through everything together.

Both Anne and Y/N parents were happy that their kids were getting along through the years but Anne had to voice her inner doubts about their friendship one evening they had gathered in Y/M/N’s garden.

“I am just afraid things will take an ugly turn when our kids enter High School or even College. I am more than thrilled with the friendship they have developed since day one, but I can’t stop myself  from thinking that when adolescence strikes, their friendship will face some difficulties”

“I don’t find it a reason to be worried about Anne, I mean our children know how entertaining each other’s presence is to one another so they will have the minds to consider what’s best for them” Y/M/N answered and Anne contemplated her words, wishing her fears wouldn’t be proven correct.

But sometimes things do take an ugly turn and that happens when feelings get mixed up in a totally healthy and rejuvenated friendship. The complicated years of adolescence came and Y/N’s friendship with Harry was about to change. The thing was that they didn’t know if it would change for the better or for the worse and whether they would be willing to fix all the damage provoked.

“Harry I am in!” Y/N shouted, throwing her bag on Harry’s floor and taking her shoes off before finding the perfect spot on the couch.

“Comin’!” Harry’s voice echoed and she turned the TV set on while she waited for Harry to appear. It was a tiring day for her for College wouldn’t stop making her busy with more and more projects.

“Hello love” Harry greeted his best friend. Never did Y/N find it weird for Harry to call her such names contrary to anyone who would listen and they would instantly assume that they were dating. But with those two, that was not the case. They tried to remain best friends through the years, like they had promised when they were younger. Besides, it wasn’t like they wanted to part and take different paths in life but, rather they wanted to feel each other’s presence next to them, especially when difficulties would knock their door.

“How was yehr day?”

“Shit. Miss goggleface assigned more projects. Thankfully, they are due to the end of the month so I don’t have to cut myself to pieces in order to make time for everything. But it is frustrating you know… I mean we have a social life we need to maintain as well!”

“Y/N, take it down a notch please. I can sense this was not yehr favourite day” Harry joked and you shot daggers at him.

“Course not. But unexpectedly, one good thing happened today” Y/N said and Harry noticed how quickly her expression lifted at that happy event.

“Go on then” Harry urged but later he wished he hadn’t.

“Remember that bloke I was drooling over that time in the Swimming class? Ryan?” at the sound of his name, Harry’s face became clouded and he wanted nothing more than this conversation to be over with already.

“Yeah, wha’ about him?”. You could tell he was off the moment he answered but you continued anyway.

“Well…. We sat together at lunch!!! You can’t imagine what I felt inside”

Oh but Harry did know what you were feeling inside when you were talking to that one person you wanted to be around the most. It was an irresistible feeling that no matter how hard you tried, it never failed to lift you off of the ground and make you feel like you are flying. It felt like you could do anything to see the person you like smile and it was a bonus knowing that you were the reason behind it.

Harry couldn’t deny it anymore. He had caught feelings for you. Besides, it is inevitable, isn’t it? When in a friendship, it is very rare not to catch feelings for the other. However, deep down Harry was optimistic enough to believe that you would feel the same way towards him and that maybe this friendship of yours could transform into something even more beautiful. Sadly, the first time he had heard about that Ryan guy, his hopes of your liking him back were shattered to the floor. So, he shut his mouth and made sure not to be stupid as to ruin what you already had.

“Harry are you even listening to a single word I am saying? Hmmm…. Maybe you are thinking about your crush too.” Y/N tried to brighten his mood up but he was nonchalant.

“Maybe” was all that he could muster.

“Whoa.. Harry Styles has a crush and his best friend doesn’t have a single clue about it? Shame on you”

“Well, I am positive it is one sided so there is no use mentionin’ somethin’” Harry tried to change the subject by avoiding Y/N’s comment but she was having none of it.

“Nonsense. Now tell me. Do I know her?”

Harry was ready to answer that question, when Y/N’s ringtone started playing in the small living room, interrupting Harry’s speech.

“It is Ryan. Oh my… Harry what do I do? What do I do?” Y/N was freaking out and Harry tried to hide his uneasiness.

“You answer him I guess” but before he could finish his sentence, she was already talking through the speaker, knowing that Ryan was at the other end of the line.

As she spoke Harry couldn’t help but notice the way her hands would fly up and down every time she would say something different or how her eyes would shine when she would hear something delightful. Harry wondered to himself whether she was acting the same way when the two of them were on the phone when she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. After having noticed her lamp on, Harry would call her to soothe her and keep her company until she fell asleep on the phone.

He was pulled out of his trance when his ears caught the words ”Ryan” and “date” come out of Y/N’s mouth. Harry felt sick to his stomach but he had to hide his sadness for he needed to show he was happy with his best friend’s date.

“Ryan asked me out on a date…. Why can’t I believe it?” Y/N was living in her pink bubble of happiness and didn’t notice her best friend burning inside and pleading her to stay home with him and watch Disney movies like they did when they were young instead of going to that Ryan guy. But times were different and now they were other things to keep the two friends occupied such as picking out the perfect outfit to go out with a guy and trying to burry some feelings which might never reach the surface.

Harry did have the opportunity to blurt out to Y/N that she was his crush since they were 13 while she was drying off her hair and he surely had the opportunity to confess that it was his best friend who stole his breath away and made his heart stop beating just by looking at him while she was admiring her outfit in front of her mirror. He definitely had the chance to tell Y/N that he was madly in love with her and that he couldn’t fathom living a life without her in it while she was climbing in Ryan’s car. But the only thing that fell from his lips instead was:

“Watch out my love”.

[katznerlaw]

Can I Make an Estate Plan Without Involving My Spouse?

Family relationships have changed and evolved over the last few decades, and the old assumption that married couples will share finances, tax obligations, and a last name no longer applies in the 21st century. When it comes to keeping your finances, identity, and future plans separate, more options are available now than there ever have been. This sense of independence leads many married people to wonder if they can make estate planning decisions without involving their spouse. There’s no simple answer to this question, but here are a few things to consider. First, recognize that only assets you solely own can be controlled by your will or trust. Plans you make for certain personal retirement accounts (subject to some restrictions), savings accounts, and individually-owned property can be done without involving a spouse. But any accounts, deeds, or titles in both of your names will need to be handled by both parties. You’ll also need to take a few details into account as you move forward. For example, if the planning spouse dies first, items owned by that individual will be distributed according to the plan. Any jointly owned property will automatically go to the surviving spouse. Should the non-planning spouse die first, his or her assets will be distributed according to state law. Depending upon the circumstances and the size of the estate, most of the assets will be distributed to the surviving spouse. Later, when the planning spouse dies, the assets will be distributed according to that person’s estate plan. This “default” planning can have negative consequences for blended families. Without proper planning, the children of the first spouse to die may be inadvertently disinherited. This means that anyone with kids should involve their partner and co-parent in every detail of their estate planning process. Even if you keep other aspects of your lives separate, join together and communicate clearly about your legacy and the property you’ll leave behind. At the same time, executing powers of attorney for health care and financial decisions can be done without involving your partner. Even if you would like to give your spouse financial power of attorney or appoint them as a proxy under a medical power of attorney, you need to take personal responsibility for executing the documents. He or she may be your spouse, but this does not give them the automatic right to make financial and medical decisions for you. If you become incapacitated and you’ve planned ahead carefully, powers of attorney can help ensure that your wishes for your health and finances are carried out. Powers of attorney aside, it’s a good idea to partner with your spouse as you engage in estate planning. Start by listing the assets you and your partner share. Outline individual retirement accounts, insurance policies, and approximate balances, and bring this information when you meet with an estate planning attorney. Simply involving your partner in the conversations about your joint assets can help ease anxiety surrounding the estate planning process. We are here to help you with your estate planning needs. Contact us and arrange a meeting to create an overall estate plan that will protect everyone in your family, including yourself.

[inamindfarfaraway]

I agree that this dynamic is immensely interesting and has a lot of depth to be explored. Likely due to being the future queen and her superior intelligence and academic accomplishment, Zipp was able to get away with years of rule breaking, behaviour unsuitable for a princess, and overall not really putting much effort into her image. But the royal family were icons of hope and pride to the entire pegasus population, giving them something to have faith in and rally behind. Pipp understood how important that was. The lie may have been misguided, but it was working. Pipp never had a grand future already laid out for her; she might never inherit the throne; probably didn’t do as well in their education; and though she was resigned to it, still had the constant pressure of her false flight dividing her from her subjects. What Zipp saw as freedom from the heir’s responsibilities and a charmed life spoiled by their mother, Pipp may have felt was an existence precarious and too at risk of being overlooked. So naturally she’d want to set herself apart. She must have taken singing and ‘flying’ lessons day for years out to be such a successful and beloved star and cultivating basically all of Zephyr Heights’s adoration and respect is proof of her savviness with ponies - though obviously her royal status would give her a significant head start, she nonetheless demonstrates genuine musical and social skill. Not the most physically demanding work, but societal and emotional commitments. She met the standards and stayed in the lines Zipp wouldn’t. She had to do almost twice the work to uphold their family reputation. To keep their mum proud of her. She was the ‘good sister’. The ponies’ princess. Always exposed to the public eye, to the threat of their criticism, disappointment, rejection, yet never truly with her citizens: the ugly parts edited out, by the dazzling lights in her performances and the filters for her photos, everything rehearsed and reshot until it was perfect. Princess Pipp Petals needed to perfect, and her integrity was a small price to pay. If she wasn’t the one everyone loved, who was she?

Then Zipp makes some new friends. Outsiders, other breeds. Suddenly the secret is revealed. She experiences the worst moment of her life, dangling helpless, abandoned, her world crashing down around her; and suddenly her mother’s in prison and she and her sister on the run from their own subjects’ vindictive fury. Everything she’s worked for, all that time making everyone love her and making that who she was… her whole life has been for nothing. Their lives and the futures they were promised could be gone forever. And she can’t even hate Zipp and her (their?) new friends for it, or at least she shouldn’t, because it turns out she’s right! The earth ponies and unicorns can be trusted! Magic could yet be restored! So pretty much everything she was raised to believe as solid fact was untrue and/or ultimately harmful. It’s like the twins’ roles have been reversed. Zipp was the one who questioned things, who stood up to Queen Haven and for innovation and trust. Pipp was the selfish, complacent one. Pipp learns to change and challenge, but she can’t be sure it’ll be enough. That they’ll be enough. That this weird friendship they’ve formed won’t die or be the death of them.

Then magic comes back. All pegasi can fly now, so her family is royalty again it seems. There’s going to be a lot of adjustments and reformations to be made, a lot more upheaval like they haven’t had enough already. The pegasisters are in a very uncertain place to my mind at the end of A New Generation and I can’t wait to see the consequences of their movie storyline and their evolving relationship unfold.

Haven, you’ve messed up your kids. Gen 5, there is much I would like from you, but to start please give us Haven apologizing to her daughters and putting in the effort to be a better parent.

Quick little thing I noticed in the MLP gen 5 movie was how strained the relationship between Zipp and Pipp was. Thinking back, I can see some more deeply rooted problems in their family dynamic that don't seem to have been addressed yet (maybe in future gen 5 content?)

First of all, their mother's parenting style definitely played a part in this. She prevented Zipp from being honest about herself and her family, in favor of keeping up the family's high image. Meanwhile, she used Pipp's talents to not only keep up the family image, but to raise it even higher.

Their mother's also shown to compare Zipp to Pipp, encouraging them to form a sibling rivalry so that they're pinned against each other. Pipp starts to resent Zipp for putting their family at risk with her troublemaking, and Zipp starts to resent Pipp for being a pony-pleasing golden pawn for their mother's lie.

Needless to say about Queen Haven, I don't care if she was somewhat redeemed in the finale, a mother's treatment of her children is gonna have lasting effects.

Now I'm gonna steer a bit away from Zipp for a bit, because she seems to already be independent and comfortable being her own pony, but what about Pipp? She always seems to turn to others for validation, whether it's her mother or her multitude of fans. Being 2nd to the throne probably didn't get Pipp as much attention as her sister, so maybe her current behavior was the result of some emotional neglect? Mostly just a hypothesis, but it would make sense why she would be so reluctant to turn away from (who she might believe are) the only 2 sources of support in her life, especially if she had to work this hard to perform to their standards.

This isn't to say that Zipp didn't face hardships. I mean, she has a lot of pressure being the future queen her people need her to be. I've just noticed more hate toward Pipp that may be a bit hasty.

So now I'm curious as to where the dynamic of these siblings will go. Will Pipp gain a stronger sense of her personal identity away from how she's seen? Will Zipp be able to cope with being the next queen after all these changes in society? Will the sisters learn to reach out more to each other and mend their familial bond? Hopefully yes, lol.

This turned out longer than planned, but I see potential in this new generation, and it's got my brain hooked at the moment.

[louisfeatharry]

today’s new year’s eve, and i’ve already given 15 of my favorite fics from this year! you can see that list here. 

and thus! here is part two of my list of my favorite fics from 2017!

note: all fics listed have been completed in 2017, although some may have started in previous years.

in alphabetical order:

Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings

Perfect Storm by cherrystreet

pray for some sweet simplicity by delsicle

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied

Runaway Land by daggerinrose

Say Hallelujah, Say Goodnight by alivingfire

some velvet morning, years too late by tintedglasses

start me over by camiii

Tainted Spirits for Three by sweetlullabies

Tell Me How To Feel About You Now by justyrae

The End Should Be A Good One by bananasandboots

the wonderlands by stylinsoncity

Through Eerie Chaos by MediaWhore

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy

You’re A Universe by Jiksa

all information on the fics is under the cut.

Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings [@greenfeelings​] (110k) Harry/Louis, fake relationship, enemies to friends to lovers

Harry's one of Hollywood's biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There's just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry's in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood's biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese's next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?

In short, Harry's in love with someone and doesn't care about dating anyone else, Louis never felt home in L.A., Liam writes love songs for someone he shouldn't write love songs to, and Niall makes everything better with good food.

⇨  read on ao3

Perfect Storm by cherrystreet [@cherrystreet​] (80k) Harry/Louis, fake relationship, exes to lovers

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

⇨  read on ao3

pray for some sweet simplicity by delsicle [@emperorstyles​] (237k) Harry/Louis, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, sports, enemies to lovers, secret relationship

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

⇨  read on ao3

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied [@crossnecklace​] (29k) Harry/Louis, friends to lovers, friends with benefits

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. 

AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

⇨  read on ao3

Runaway Land by daggerinrose [@thetommmo​] (103k) Harry/Louis, modern Greek mythology AU, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn

Louis is sure he’s stumbled upon a secret, underground nightclub, though that is far from the truth. He’s also pretty sure he’s stumbled upon Apollo, which… isn’t very far from the truth, actually.

Modern Greek mythology AU.

⇨  read on ao3

Say Hallelujah, Say Goodnight by alivingfire [@alivingfire​] (110k) Harry/Louis, angels & demons AU, fantasy & supernatural, historical AU

Louis is an angel who is just a little too bad to be good, Harry is a demon who is just a little too good to be bad, and they're both a little too in love to be impartial when angels and demons go to war. 

Louis has been alive since life was a mere concept; he watched the summoning of Man into existence, he was there when Eve took the apple. He’s seen seas break the world into separate pieces, he’s watched empires crumble into dust. He’s seen wildfire consume cities, he’s seen the world painted white with snow. He has known the most beautiful humans to walk the planet, he has watched the most powerful mortals gather their riches and influence around them and then die just like the poorest, weakest humans do. He’s met humans whose motives defy explanation, people who use their lives as battering rams, as tools, as weapons, as chess pieces.

None of that stopped Louis in his tracks.

But Harry did.

⇨  read on ao3

some velvet morning, years too late by tintedglasses [@tintedglasses​] (35k) Louis/Nick Grimshaw, famous/non-famous, secret marriage, exes to lovers

A better adult probably would have changed their emergency contact information once they had convinced said contact that they wanted nothing to do with them, but Louis had never been very good at proper adult things. Besides, it’s not like he thought he’d ever need it.

Or: Louis wakes up in the hospital with unfinished business at his bedside. Turns out Nick has some unfinished business, too.

⇨  read on ao3

start me over by camiii [ @camiii​ ] (44k) Louis/Nick Grimshaw, travel rep AU, enemies to lovers

"Nick’s funny when he’s not being a knob, and has good taste in music and Louis really likes his hands. Not to mention that he’s tall, tall enough to have made Louis spend a minute or two imagining what it would be like to have Nick pin him to a flat surface and snog him senseless. The only thing keeping him from a full grown crush at this point is sheer will and the threat of humiliation. 

So, Nick’s a dickhead but unfortunately Louis is kind of into that."

⇨  read on ao3

Tainted Spirits for Three by sweetlullabies (80k) Harry/Louis, Louis/Zayn, high school AU, love triangles

Louis was walking alongside the bleachers when an orange flying object nearly took his head off. Well, it missed, but it was still pretty close, and it hit the bleachers and bounced around before rolling to a stop. Louis turned in the direction the ball came from, in order to see who this was that had decided to kill him.

“Sorry,” Harry said, scratching at his curls. “I just, uh…lost control.”

or the au where Harry loves Louis, and Zayn does too, which results in confusion that tests Louis' relationships with both.

⇨  read on ao3

Tell Me How To Feel About You Now by justyrae [@imlouisaf​] (38k) Harry/Louis, college/university AU, famous/nonfamous, friends to lovers

Louis thought it would feel different once he got to LA. He knew it was best for him; a fresh start as far away as he could get. But when the plane touched down and he stepped out into the hot air around LAX, Louis felt exactly the same.

There's still a hole in his chest where his heart used to be; ripped away even after trying for so many years to keep it from happening. He knows it's not all his fault, not by a mile, but it doesn't stop him from blaming himself for it all going wrong.

If he'd just stayed strong, if he'd said no when he said yes, maybe everything would be different.

Or, Harry has been trying to convince Louis to date him for years, but Louis has always been wary of Harry’s fairly obvious commitment issues. Louis eventually gives him a chance, opening his heart up to the one thing he fears.

⇨  read on ao3

The End Should Be A Good One by bananasandboots [@anylessreal​] (43k) Harry/Louis, exes to lovers

It doesn't feel like falling in love, the way it had felt the first time around, easy, simple, almost like floating, wrapped up in a whirlwind of touches and kisses, late nights spent laughing breathlessly into each other's skin. This feels broken, complicated, like every move carries the weight of their past. Like the floorboards beneath them could collapse at any moment. This doesn't feel good.

Or, the one where Harry loses the love of his life on New Years Eve and finds him again, six months later, ready to open some poorly-stitched wounds.

⇨  read on ao3

the wonderlands by stylinsoncity [@aliensingucci​] (150k) Harry/Louis, famous/nonfamous, music industry AU

"Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands."

Harry's daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis' girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.

⇨  read on ao3

Through Eerie Chaos by MediaWhore [@mediawhorefics​] (102k) Harry/Louis, ghost hunters AU, fantasy & supernatural, historical AU

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

⇨  read on ao3

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy [@daisyharry​] (149k) Harry/Louis, road trip AU, college/university AU, strangers to enemies to friends to lovers

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes.

-

A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

⇨  read on ao3

You’re A Universe by Jiksa [@jiksax​] (15k) Harry/Louis, established relationship, angst

Harry doesn’t ever mean to hurt him; Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s the only thing he ever does anymore.

Or, Louis’s a stay-at-home dad in London and Harry’s a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesn’t know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.

⇨  read on ao3

and that’s it for 2017! here’s to more amazing fics in 2018!

credits for resources in banner: saturnthms (gradient), resourcescollection (galaxy texture), & kaeveeoh-art (speech bubble animation)

[purplehairedhero]

A Fen/Femhawke Baby Fic List

A Fenris/FemHawke family/pregnancy/baby fic lists. Still a WIP. Only criteria is that it is FemHawke/Fenris, and it can’t be sad/depressing (I’m looking at you “Here Lies the Abyss” fics). Send me recs! Edit: 10/19/17 New stories added, Natural by Cannibal Kats and several at the bottom. 

“Hiding, Not Quite Hidden” by Brosca-Pride. Hawke and Fenris, together forever, even if it means hiding themselves and children from everything.

“Was it Worth it:?” by CannibalKats. Just a short piece about Fenris and Dahl Hawke during Inquisition. Bonus Papa Fenris.

“Take Care of Her” by CannibalKats. Anders, Hawke, and Fenris are the only members of the Kirkwall crew still on the run. Fenris catches Anders leaving in the middle of the night and promises not to let Hawke follow.

“Natural” by CannibalKats.  A short bit of fluff. The birth of Fenris and Dahl's first child. While not graphic childbirth is described from Fenris' pov.

“Wander Wild and Far.” by Spirrum. After Adamant Hawke leaves for Weisshaupt as planned, but finds instead an entirely different adventure, a stray Fereldan Queen, a dragon, and that being pregnant wile the world is ending is not all that it’s cracked up to be.

“So Much Hinges on a Maybe.” by Spirrum. Hawke and Fenris, and trying to get pregnant.

“Frostling” by Spirrum.You can grow to love a great many things.

“Smaller Flames.” by Spirrum. Their youngest discovers her magic, in true Hawke fashion. With an explosion

Broody Porcupine Snapshot Series by TheFlamingNymph. An AO3 collection.

“Little Monster” by TheFlamingNymph. Hawke just wants a nap. Just one.

Fenris and Hawke’s Family Series by SassyOrlesian. An AO3 collection.

“What I was made for” by MiaCousland. Hawke and Fenris’ child is brought into the world.

“Steal and Shadow” by MiaCousland. Hawke has to find her way throught the Frostback Mountains to answer a letter that has been sent by an old friend from Kirkwall. Note: Haven’t read this one personally yet.

“The Elf and the Babe” by Gaqalesqua. Fenris, romanced by a female Hawke, turns up at Skyhold wearing a baby sling with a baby in it. Trevelyan investigates.

“The Life We’ve Wrought” by ClockWorkSymmetry. Hawke x Fenris is adorable.

Wil and Cro Hawke Series by NovemberOcean (TwilightHawke). An AO3 collection.

“A Change in Principles” by K4t3yk4t. He hadn’t expected things to end up like this. Of course, there had been signs, and of course, they’d planned for it, but he had never expected anything like this to happen. Not to him. He feels rooted; an immobilization worse than any command had ever caused, worse than seeing Hawke nearly die, worse, so much worse. And yet...

“Ardently” by Uniqueinalltheworld.When Marian Hawke decided to leave her children with responsible adults before helping the inquisition, she had counted on being able to find one somewhere. Unfortunately, it seems like Anders and Fenris will have to do.

“Dawn” by Alistairweekend. “Mm...your kid before five in the morning.”

“Hawkquisition Series & other Stories” by Rannadylin. Most of her work has a baby or pregnancy existing somewhere. Special mention goes to Sapling.

Misadventures of Mari Hawke Series by Wintryone. An AO3 collection.

“A Different Kind of Magic” by sevanderslice. Fenris’s thoughts after the birth of his children.

“Finally together, Birds of a Feather, part 1″ by Hatsepsut. Fenris and Hawke are together after three years, and their relationship evolves. Moving in together, falling even deeper in love, going through the paces that are life, having a family, while the world crashes around their ears.

“Come Back to Me.” by Hatsepsut. Fenris leaves he City of Chains after the night he spends with Hawke; heavy words had been exchanged and everything between them looked hopeless. Eleven months later, he is back, determined to win the affection of the woman he can't forget again. But she seems to have a secret...

“On Waking” by loquaciousquark. Years after the events of Act III, Hawke and Fenris’s six-year-old daughter tries to figure out her mother’s past, her place in the tiny town of Wilhaven, and why her father never wakes up. AUTHORS SEAL OF APPROVAL.

“No Labor Like Love” by loquaciousquark. Hawke is pregnant. Fenris copes as best he can; everyone else laughs from a distance. A series of unconnected vignettes spanning the pregnancy of a Champion. AUTHORS SEAL OF APPROVAL.  The quintessential pregnancy/family fic.

“Given Respite” by loquaciousquark. Dorian meets Fenris. An interlude set after “Here Lies The Abyss.” Same universe as On Waking? AUTHORS SEAL OF APPROVAL. Honestly anything written by loquacious is amazing but this is a BABY fic list but seriously do yourself a favor and devour their work. Has a “sequel” written by Jade_Sabre called “Memorare” but not very related to this list either.

“A Deafening Sound” by loquaciousquark. Fenris and his newborn daughter.

“Whats that Holiday fic” by loquaciousquark. Carver meets his newborn nephew. This. THIS. This is the story I started this list looking for. I knew I wasn’t crazy! But on tumblr of all places???

“More Beach fic” by loquaciousquark. The fam is at the beach.

“I Mourn your Absence.” by loquaciousquark. Fenris and Leda go after Hawke.

“In Retrospect, a chicken was a bad choice.” by jadesabre301. The title says it all. Features laquaciousquark’s Leda Hawke.

“Always Safe with Us.” by Tadeusz. Hawke thought raising a baby with a trio of parents would be easier than with just two. That’s hilarious, Hawke. Totally cute that you think that. All it does is create more confusion about who has to get up when that baby cries at night.

“Hands and Feet” by Toffle. The revelation does not come in ice, or fire. It comes only with a gentle touch.

“Celebration” by Scurvaliciousbay. Fenris wakes up to Katra making a cake for their daughter’s first birthday. “Three Words” is a sequel. Fenris is putting his daughter to bed when she says something unexpected.

“New Beginnings” by onemooncircles. Heading home after concluding his business with the Inquisition, Varric pays a visit to some friends he has lied through his teeth to protect.

“The Wolf Within” by Ivy_Adair. Five years after Fenris left Marian Hawke behind in Kirkwall, he returns to discover that some things never change but others, like the addition of a little girl with black hair and green eyes, change completely. He mush come full circle to realize that he isn’t his past and that the wolf within him won’t be his future. A modern!AU.

“Medela” by mahuika. It surprises him, as it always has, how resilient a heart can be when he’s so used to seeing them ripped out and half-beating in his hand. Or, Varania is invited to meet her niece. AUTHORS SEAL OF APPROVAL.

“Exhale” by Chalahandra. Rhonwen gurgles, pushing herself up from the quilt. It’s a sunny day, with birds chirping and people talking quietly - and for the first time in a very long time, Fenris lets himself smile.

“A Cold Winter Day.” by Pinkwebby. Hawke has been pregnant for nine months, and she is ready to give birth to this child. Is she really ready to have a kid though?

“Playing in the Rain” by servantofclio. Hawke watches her partner and children in the rain. Has sequal “A Reunion and a Reckoning.” Fenris catches up to Hawke at Skyhold.

Dragon Age: Generations Series by DancingMantis. Roots and Wings more relevant to list.

“She Came Back.” by LittleWritings. Fenris finds Hawke at Weishaupt. Its a little rough but different than most.

While you were Sleeping Series by hollandmarie. VERY CUTE.

“The Hawke Child.” by CaptainStornChaser. "Am I the father?" He asked her, standing from where he had been waiting for her inside the entrance hall of her estate, reminiscent of the night the child may very well have been conceived.Marian merely stared at him evenly for a few moments. "You should go home, Fenris."

“What If.” by RaddishRodya. Hawke and Fenris have a discussion about what would happen if they had children. Also, Fenris learns how to play dictionary tag.

“Hesitations” by wiltedartist. Dehlian Hawke knows one thing and thing only: She has no idea as to how she will inform Fenris he will be a father. Sequel “The Empty Thirst.” How strange, he realized to himself, that he never knew just how much he needed one thing. Control. Fenris!F!Hawke, pregnant sex and dominant Fenris

“Mama Bird” by sparkyarcher. Elia comes home to a suspiciously quiet estate. Adorableness ensues.

“Another Heart” by aryadeschain.One sleepless night turned out to present Fenris a pleasant surprise.

“For What it’s Worth” by Nyessa. Years after Isabela runs away from Kirkwall with the Tome of Koslun, Imogen Hawke catches up to her in Denerim to settle some unfinished business.

“Dragon Age Prompts” by Jawbones. Chap. 4 “Lullaby”  "The way you said 'I love you': Not said to me" Might be more in series.

“A Hawkling Tale.” by Sportsoma.  Hawke surely does, and there's a little memento in case she wants to forget. However, being a mage and fearing the Chantry will take her expected bundle of joy, Hawke flees Kirkwall. Also a series sharing same name.

“Under the Skin.” by Lavender_Seaglass. After all that she's been through, Hawke doesn't plan on going anywhere else, let alone leaving him behind. This is, however, not something she's sure how to face. Doing things is easy; it's the regrets that kill you.

“Unplanned Consequences.” by Dragondreads.  When Hawke finds herself in the awkward position of being pregnant after the only night of passion she found with Fenris, she turns to her friend Varric for help

“Sweet Vermouth” by AngelicSentinel. Fenris would do anything for Hawke—Even conquer the Fade itself.

“I remain at your side.” by Lourdes23. When Kirkwall fell so did its Champion. Changed by betrayal, hunted and outcast, Hawke must find the strength to rise up once more in defense of a world gone mad. Yet humans can only withstand so much before desperation drives them beyond reason. When she's at her breaking point, and the weight of her duties seems too much to bear, who will stand with her and share the burden?Who will champion the Champion?  

“New Beginnings.” by Jessica Pendragon. He has dealt in death for so long and now only wants to hold life in his hands.

“Find Your Own Way Back Home.” by locketofyourhair. These books are slim, without names on the covers, and when he opens one, he can see that some of the pages are blank. Others are covered with small handwriting that he knows well, and it feels like a blow to see it again. They are journals; they are Hawke’s journals.He reads them as he finds himself adrift without her.

“Of Sausages and Surprises.” by RedIn. It was one of those evenings when her mother tried to make a noble fragile flower of her. She invited Comtesse Berauear and her two cocky daughters; Lizzeta and Pavetta. It was meant to be a boring, annoying evening or so Hawke thought.Sandal was the last person who she thought would interrupt the boredom of their well-mannered Hightown style party.

“Foxes on the Run” by ms45. Hawke gives birth whilst on the run from the Chantry.

“Milk” by Persephone. Hawke/LI - Lactating. Smut.

“Only You.” by kellbelle. This is a story of Hawke fleeing Kirkwall alone, having never romanced anyone and believing the man she loves could never love her back.

“Isabela and the Dread Pirate Captain Hook” by Dakoyone. Isabela tells a story from her grand pirating adventure days to the littlest Hawkes. No actual mention of Fenris but all her other stories are Fenhawke and there is a father so...

“That Which is Lost” by Niamh_St_George. A decade after the events in Kirkwall, Amelle Hawke and Fenris have made a quiet life for themselves. But when their idyll is shattered, Fenris discovers that while men are dealt with easily enough, it is once again magic standing poised to take everything away.

[arisefairsun]

What books and/or other works of Shakespeare do you recommend for someone who is undeniably obsessed with Romeo and Juliet and fascinated with Macbeth?

Ah, these are my two favorite plays! Let’s see now. 

You might enjoy the following Shakespearean plays if you are undeniably obsessed with Romeo and Juliet (it’s a beautiful feeling that, isn’t it?):

Antony and Cleopatra. It is no coincidence that Juliet’s mother is dressed up as Cleopatra in Luhrmann’s movie. The play is filled with unrestrained sensuality, with a very strong-minded woman as one of its leading roles. (Cleopatra is also the female character with most lines in all of Shakespeare’s plays.) It also offers an interesting insight into gender roles, which are to an extent subverted again. Moreover, the deaths of the protagonists resemble those of Romeo and Juliet in that they die partly as a consequence of misleading circumstances: Romeo and Antony believe their lovers to be dead, so they lamentably commit suicide. Coleridge himself thought that Antony and Cleopatra should be ‘perused in mental contrast with Romeo and Juliet’, so do give it a try!

Othello. It is similar to Romeo and Juliet in that Desdemona and Juliet both defy the conventions of their world in marrying a man who is not socially acceptable for them. Though their love stories evolve differently, both couples are very affectionate, inherently good to each other—but they are lamentably destroyed by social oppression. Othello is one of the most sorrowful and sublime stories I have ever read, so I truly recommend it!

A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I’m not that into the comedies, but I believe it would also be a good read. Both were written around the same time and share numerous themes. For instance, the story of Pyramus and Thisbe is considerably relevant in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, something that clearly echoes the love of Romeo and Juliet. The play presents, again, patriarchs refusing to acknowledge their daughters’s liberty; but it’s a comedy, so nobody dies for once! ;)

Richard II. Yet another play that’s especially preoccupied with language.

The sonnets. They are a must read if you wish to read more about love.

“The Phoenix and the Turtle”. It is a beautiful poem about ideal, perennial love, capable of merging the lovers so profoundly that they become a single entity. It is quite obscure, though, but you will find a lot of analyses on the Internet.

As for non-Shakespearean stories, it can be interesting to have a look at the various versions of the Romeo and Juliet story through the centuries:

La Divina Commedia (Purgatorio VI, vv.106-108) by Dante. He mentions the feud between the Montagues (Montecchi) and the Capulets (Cappelletti).

Novellino (33rd story) by Masuccio Salernitano.

Hystoria novellamente ritrovata di due nobili amanti by Luigi da Porto.

La sfortunata morte di dui infelicissimi amanti by Matteo Bandello.

Histoire troisième de deux Amants by Pierre Boaistuau (translated from Bandello).

The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet by Arthur Brooke. This one is particularly interesting, given that Shakespeare’s play is mainly based on it. Knowing which aspects of Brooke’s poem Shakespeare decided to keep and which he decided to alter can enrich your reading of Romeo and Juliet. It is available as a PDF here.

The Palace of Pleasure by William Painter. Shakespeare is also thought to have consulted this version.

If you are interested in reading the Italian sources, I suggest that you buy Romeo and Juliet: Original Text of Masuccio, da Porto, Bandello and Shakespeare (all the texts are translated into English).

Here are some interesting rewritings which were very influential over the centuries and are therefore worth considering:

Castelvines y Monteses (so Capulets and Montagues) by Spanish playwright Lope de Vega. Written a few decades after the Bard’s play, his ending might not be so tragic ;)

The History and Fall of Caius Marius by Restoration writer Thomas Otway. Combining Shakespeare’s plot and characters with one of Plutarch’s stories, it is extremely similar to Romeo and Juliet (to the point that it keeps many of the Bard’s words, namely the ‘wherefore art thou’ line). Set in ancient Rome and especially preoccupied with politics, it displaced Shakespeare’s version from the stage from 1680 to 1735. Although Otway’s play is rather unknown nowadays, our perception of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is still influenced by it. He is the reason we still believe there is a balcony scene in the play even if it is undeniably a window in Shakespeare. Such was the success of his retelling that its influence still lives nowadays. It’s interesting to consider that Romeo and Juliet was constantly subject to rewritings and revisions over the centuries, so its current status as one of the most iconic stories of Western culture partly comes from these adapted texts as well as Shakespeare’s original play. While it is indeed fascinating to read these rewritings and discover how the story was perceived by each generation, they are not particularly interesting from a feminist point of view. Otway’s version, among many others that followed, manages to contain Juliet’s boldness and also deprive Romeo of his ‘unmanly’ behavior, which I think is an important ingredient of his character. Their relationship is far less subversive and they do not transcend the social conventions of their world as intensely as Shakespeare’s lovers. But this conception of Romeo and Juliet is still present nowadays to some extent. In paintings and other portrayals of the scene, why is Juliet usually represented as a timid, still woman up on the balcony, with an ardent Romeo wooing her underneath? That reminds me of Otway’s characters rather than those of the Bard. In Shakespeare, Juliet takes control of the scene: not only is she equally passionate, but she is also far more straightforward than Romeo, encouraging him to express himself earnestly and actively making wedding plans on her own. Food for thought.

David Garrick’s rewriting of Romeo and Juliet. Adjusting the play to the preferences of his time, he revised Shakespeare’s text, adding new dialogue and altering that which did not please him. For instance, he made Juliet wake in time to share one last dialogue with Romeo (something that can be found in Otway’s play as well as in some of the Italian sources). This was the preferred ending in performances of the play until the 19th century, and is still quite recurrent nowadays, perhaps most famously in Luhrmann’s movie.

Other stories similar to Romeo and Juliet which come to my mind are the following:

“Pyramus and Thisbe” by Ovid. These star-crossed lovers attempt to escape together when their parents oppose to their love. Pyramus, believing Thisbe to be dead, takes his own life; after finding his lifeless body, she takes his sword and joins him in death. The tragic deaths of the lovers as a consequence of mischance inspired Italian writers to frame the deaths of Romeo and Juliet in a similar fashion. Perhaps you will also enjoy other stories from Ovid’s Metamorphoses. These may not be straightforwardly reminiscent of Shakespeare’s lovers, but they are all splendid and therefore worth a read. My favorites are Orpheus and Eurydice, Pygmalion and Galatea, Psyche and Cupid, and Echo and Narcissus—Juliet actually mentions Echo in the orchard scene, so it can enrich your understanding of Romeo and Juliet. (Other classical characters mentioned in the play are Cupid, Aurora, Phaeton, Venus, Diana, Jove, Danae, Dido, Hero, Helen of Troy… I hope I don’t forget any.) I truly recommend that you get your hands on a copy of the Metamorphoses, not only because it is a magnificent book but because Shakespeare’s plays are all replete with references to Ovid. Other classical lovers worth mentioning are Dido and Aeneas, and Hero and Leander. (Kit Marlowe wrote a poem about the latter.)

The Ephesian Tale of Anthia and Habrocomes by Xenophon. This is where the idea of Juliet’s faked death comes from.

Have With You To Saffron-Walden by Thomas Nashe. Many of Mercutio’s and the Nurse’s lines, among others, might have been inspired by this pamphlet—including the allusion to Tybalt as the Prince of Cats.

‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore by John Ford. This is one of the wildest plays I’ve read and also one of my favorites. It is full of trigger warnings, though, so proceed with caution. The plot follows the love affair between two siblings, and it is similar to Romeo and Juliet in that there is a friar who functions as the counselor of the male lead, while the female protagonist has a nurse as her confidant.

“To a Lady Who Presented to the Author a Lock of Hair Braded With His Own, and Appointed a Night in December to Meet Him in the Garden” by Lord Byron. This is probably the most hilarious poem I know. Byron basically declines the lady’s proposal arguing that if Shakespeare had written Romeo and Juliet at Christmas, or if he had set the story in England, surely he wouldn’t have chosen a garden for the passionate scene between Romeo and Juliet. It’s. Just. Pure. Sass.

Tristan and Iseult by Béroul. Although there are various versions of this tale, that of Béroul is most likely the most famous one. This is a story about star-crossed, tragic love, its force capable of transcending the confines of death itself. Interestingly, Wagner’s Liebestod, originally composed for Isolde’s bereavement after Tristan’s death and a tribute to the consummation of love in death, starts playing after Juliet’s suicide in Luhrmann’s movie. What a beautiful and symbolic choice by Luhrmann!

Il canzioniere by Petrarch, of course. Romeo is an ardent diehard fan of that book and probably has a poster of Petrarch in his room. Shakespeare’s play is full of Petrarchan motifs, so it’s worth a try! Romeo will be offended if you don’t read it (but Mercutio will give you a high five).

La Celestina by Fernando de Rojas. This Spanish tragicomedy has been compared to Romeo and Juliet, not only because both plays tell the story of ill-starred lovers, but because the protagonist of La Celestina is similar to Juliet’s Nurse. Do read it if you are interested in this archetype and tragic love, combined with comic undertones.

Galician-Portuguese poetry. For me, the poems written in Galicia and Portugal in the Middle Ages are some of the most beautiful expressions of love ever created. The soul of these poems is very close to that of Romeo and Juliet; you’ll find that many of the themes appear also in the dialogues between Shakespeare’s famous lovers. For instance, there are many examples of an aubade in Galician-Portuguese literature, so if you enjoy Romeo and Juliet’s morning song, you should give it a try. I especially recommend the compositions known as cantigas de amigo because they are generally spoken by a woman. (Amigo means ‘friend’ in modern Galician and Portuguese, but back then it could also be used to refer to a lover—much like Juliet’s use of the word when she says: ‘Love, lord, ay husband, friend.’) Those known as cantigas de amor usually express a man’s grief over his unrequited love for a woman who is either married, sworn to chastity, or simply uninterested—much like Romeo in the first act of the play. If you enjoy the silly jokes of Romeo and Juliet, i.e. Mercutio’s constant use of double entendres, then do read some cantigas de escarnio e maldicir, which are basically satirical and witty compositions written to insult someone.

As for Macbeth, some Shakespearean plays worth reading are his other major tragedies:

Hamlet.

Othello.

King Lear.

Do read Richard III and Julius Caesar for more exploration of tyranny and the destructiveness of power.

As for other writings relevant to Shakespeare’s play, I should mention Holinshed’s Chronicles, which supplied the Bard with the main plot of the Scottish play. (He also might have consulted George Buchanan’s Rerum Scoticarum Historia and John Leslie’s De Origine, Moribus, te Rebus Gesties Scotorum.)

These are other stories that you may enjoy, some of which could have also inspired Shakespeare while writing Macbeth:

Medea. She is the true queen of my heart: an indomitable and unstoppable woman whose insatiable need for vengeance incites her to cruelty. She is a wonderful character, her course of thought and action forming one the most compelling fictional masterpieces I have ever read. There are several writings dealing with this character, namely Euripides’s tragedy Medea, or Ovid’s narration of her deeds in Book 7 of his Metamorphoses. However, perhaps the most relevant version here is Seneca’s play, also titled Medea: his heroine and Lady Macbeth share, among other things, their rejection of female nature in order to achieve the boldness necessary for their sinister plans. Lady Macbeth’s speech at 1.5 may echo that of Medea in Act 4.

Seneca’s work. Apart from his Medea, other plays reminiscent of Shakespeare’s play are Hercules Furens and Agamemnon. Other classical references in Macbeth include Hecate, Neptune, Bellona, Tarquin (also present in Shakespeare’s wonderful poem The Rape of Lucrece) and one of my favorite characters of all time, Medusa. (I hope I don’t forget any again?)

Montaigne’s Essays. Macbeth’s destructive need to control the future and the baleful force of imagination can be found in some of Montaigne’s writings, especially ‘Of the force of imagination’ and ‘Our affections are transported beyond our selves’.

As for witchcraft, I’m sure there are multiple writings about this matter in the early modern period, but these are the ones that I either have read or look forward to doing so eventually:

Newes from Scotland.

Daemonologie by James VI and I. Quite a few themes present in this work are echoed in Macbeth.

The Witch by Thomas Middleton.

The Late Lancashire Witches by Thomas Heywood and Richard Brome. It is based on the real-life events of some women who were accused of witchcraft.

Enjoy!

[conflictcrafter]

The Humanity of Lord of War

when you make an artwork, you have to figure out your role. being the maker of something is the surface role. and it is necessary. the next step is to pick a shovel and dig. or mine.

we do not determine roles for the heck of it. we do it because it is both the goal and the core. the goal, the core, and the means should align. and when things are in order, beauty emerges, organically, even when the surface looks chaotic.

I.

Andrew Niccol knew what his roles are in Lord of War. one of them is to explore an inquiry: what does it mean to be human?

this question has been explored in many punk films. Ridley Scott and Philip K Dick's Blade Runner films comes to mind. George Miller has also examined the question specially well in the recent Mad Max: Fury Road. these films put humanity in future punks, in a certain point in post-humanity, to hammer the question down.

Lord of War doesnt play with punks (we can call it presentpunk though). the historical events and the political conditions depicted in the film still ring bells. theoretically, the question is easier to grasp since it's set categorically in the present. this film, again, is not a punk where this question of humanity is often explored. but this is why literature or film is so beautiful: narrative elements, in this case the setting, bare different ways to answer the same query. also, familiar settings may bring out the most outlandish of answers.

What does it mean to be human 1: Beware of The Dog

Yuri (Nick Cage), after making his first gun trade, approaches his younger brother Vitaly (Jared Leto) who cooks in their Jewish family restaurant. while Yuri convinces Vi to be his gun trade partner, Yuri notices a poster in the kitchen that says: Beware of The Dog. "We dont have a dog (also why you put that in the kitchen?)," said Yuri. to which Vi responded:

"To remind myself to beware of the dog in me. The dog in me who wants to fuck everything that moves, fight and kill weaker dogs. I guess it's a . . . to remind me to be more human."

halfway through the film, Vi succumbs into cocaine addiction due to Yuri's involvement in his life. it was as though the film was telling us that Vi is indeed a dog. running and fucking around.

but when Vi finally met "a girlfriend," he changes and leaves the cocaine. Yuri comes back into his life and convinces him again to be his partner. in a deal in Sierra Leone, Vi, now sober, witnessed the bloody effects of illegal gun trade to African civilians. 

in an effort to sabotage the deal and potentially save innocent people, Vi is able to blow half of the arms and is consequently killed by the warlords.

Vi dies a martyr. loyal dogs die as martyrs. martyrs transcend humanity.

What does it mean to be human 2: I Won’t Fail as a Human Being

Yuri returns home to his wife Ava Fontaine (Bridget Moynahan) who now knows about her husband's illegal gunrunning business.

Ava is informed by idealistic Interpol agent Jack Valentine (Ethan Hawke) of her husband's illegal arms activities. he reminds Ava that her parents were gunned by people who got their guns illegally from arms dealers like Yuri.

later that evening, Yuri comes home to a naked wife, unable to wear her silk sleeping dress, unable to lie on their bed, because to her, "Everything’s got blood on it."

she confronted Yuri and he finally confessed to his wife his real occupation. she tells Yuri to stop it since they have enough. but Yuri said he couldnt just quit because it isnt about the money. it is what he is good at.

Ava tells her husband that she "is a failed actress, a failed artist. But she doesnt fail to be human."

while Yuri feels that being human means getting one's dreams, having a lucrative lifestyle, proving to other humans that one is the best; for Ava though, humanity is as simple as not inflicting harm to other human beings.

What does it mean to be human 3: The Reptile Tail

after being confronted by Ava and Vi, Yuri finally decides to go legit. suddenly, he is not an arms dealer anymore, and he got agents confused.

this is the part of the film that youd wish the main character has truly changed, with all the things and relationships he has at stake, youd want the main character to change. Niccol teases us that, that narrative relief. but if you know how plot works, you know Yuri hasnt reached that ultimate fall.

so after going legit, he is pulled back into the arms dealing business by the self-proclaimed president of Liberia, Andre Baptise.

you would want to feel that Yuri would be doing it forcibly in fear for his family's safety. but no. when the scene with him and the Andre cuts, we hear Yuri:

"At four and a half months old, a human fetus has a reptile's tail—a remnant of our evolution. Maybe that is why I could't escape. You can fight a lot of enemies and survive. But if you fight your biology, you will always lose."

Yuri's biological mumbling here is based on the evolutionary development studies of Ernst Haeckel (1834-1919) which theorizes that embryonic stages of development reflect the previous adult evolutionary forms of the specie (ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny).

Yuri is basically saying that since humans were previously non-humans, reflected by having actual tails while developing in the womb, humans will always go back in to behaving as animals. and that we can never fight it.

Yuri is wrong. for starters, Haeckel's hypothesis, the Recapitulation Theory, is long defunct.

while embryos have "tails," this does not represent the evolutionary process of a specie.

we don't have embryonic tails because thats how we evolved. we just had tails. that's just it.

thus, we are not echoes of a long evolution of reptiles. and what Yuri is telling himself is merely a rationalization defense mechanism to justify his illegal arms dealing.

and it's completely human to rationalize immoral behavior.

in insisting biology and in exercising rationalization, Yuri has perfectly demonstrated the frailty of human beings: giving intellectual justifications to humans' animalistic tendencies. Yuri has satisfied the id in booming his ego.

but being human isnt only about rationalizing.

being human also means thinking about the welfare of other human beings.

Yuri has become, if not the best, one of the bests in illegal arms dealing. in essence, he has become a superpower in the trade. but Yuri, in Nietzsche's eyes is far from being an Ubermensch.

in Kant's eyes, Yuri has trampled the categorical imperative.

in our eyes, Yuri is not a hero.

and this is what makes him human: his acceptance of life's dramatic irony. he knows, he sees, he "appreciates" the negative implications of what he does, and what's coming. yet he still does it. he is helplessly and happily trapped like all of us.

II.

although we follow closely the life of Yuri, in a "story" perspective, it's Vitaly that ultimately follows the heroic arc. Vitaly is the proxy hero to Yuri, Yuri doesnt undergo metamorphosis. but Vitaly does.

hence the film is a character study of how a human being can become a monster: by allowing and being part of something that is systematically bad and irreversible.

Niccol illustrates the monstrosity of Yuri not by making the character violent. he ingeniously does it by portraying Yuri as a kind and generous person who often describes and treats the people who are really close to him well. he, in his monologues, talks a great deal about them in good terms. yet he never talks about himself in such way. in fact, he never talks about himself at all.

and this where NIccol's genius comes: he makes Yuri seamlessly not talk about himself because in truth, Yuri hates himself. and a monster is a monster is he hates himself.

in the end, nothing is solved. what wins is the human basal instinct to harm others and at the same time, be detached from it. more than a narrative work, the film is a challenge:

how much humanity are we willing to let go to feel human?

III.

the film has managed to be an artwork that also talks about important world issues. and if there is something that an artist should takeaway from the viewing, it should be seeing how art and function can go together neatly.

the only failure of the film, albeit minor, is despite the great research that the creative production team has gone through to parallel real events, it fell short in interpreting Interpol's function properly. Interpol doesnt at all conduct arrests.

aside from that, Lord of War is a solid 9/10 for its take on the question of humanity.

_____ non-film image sources in order of appearance:  1. https://image.slidesharecdn.com/defensemechanism-160520104849/95/defense-mechanism-40-638.jpg?cb=1463741864

2. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/30/22/3b/30223b65bc57c735199209472b57c0b3.jpg 

3. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c0/16/e2/c016e21b69049ab2c7a02caa1bd9e24d.jpg