#having a cat is like my maximum honestly

[avo-kat]

i feel SO much and i want SO much and im SO greedy and im SO full of love and SO starved for affection

and then the next minute im like, ok nevermind im fine leave me alone yall omg i need to be alone and do my shit

[fingertipsmp3]

I cannot believe I spent my whole evening trying and failing to get temporary hair dye wax to work and then to add insult to injury discovered that I’m the only person on planet earth who doesn’t look good with a septum ring

[kirain]

Please don't get me wrong, I like gale well enough, but he turns me off because I get the impression that he wouldn't care much about what I have to say. He's so intelligent and wise and he clearly has years and years of education and study under his belt. So what on earth could I even talk to him about without boring him to death? Because honestly, I like to talk, like, a lot. I'm just as passionate about stuff but not nearly as knowledgeable and I fucking hate that look on people's face when they're blithely listening to stuff that bored them? Im not knowledgeable enough to have anything to offer him

This is ironically how Gale feels about himself. He feels like he has absolutely nothing to offer anyone, which is why he went after the orb in the first place. He felt inadequate for a goddess, and he feels inadequate for Tav. The idea that Tav is attracted to him genuinely shocks him, too, because from his standpoint ... who could possibly love him? He's just a guy who screws everything up. That's why he's so elated when Tav shares their feelings with him.

He knows magic, but he doesn't know the world. He's clueless in certain areas. Despite being so knowledgeable and passionate about magic, he wants to know Tav. He doesn't care how intelligent or unintelligent you are, he only cares that you're a good person. I haven't finished his romance yet, but I've made some pretty silly decisions (like licking a dead spider) and he's still sticking by me. His desire for Tav isn't transactional at all. In fact, he'd probably find your question "what on earth could I even talk to him about without boring him to death" perplexing. The answer is anything! Gale's passion is learning and sharing knowledge, and if you talk to him about a subject he's already well versed in, he won't shut you down, he'll just match your enthusiasm. I'm playing as a wizard, and every time I've spoken to him about the Weave or books or anything my character knows as a result of her background, he gets excited, not bored.

Moreover, Gale's hobbies mainly consist of reading. That's it. He likes to sit on his balcony and read. I'm sure many people would consider that boring, and he knows it. That's why he gets agitated when you first meet him. He blatantly tells you his hobbies and everything he loves; reading, writing poetry, his cat, so when you ask him to elaborate or say "tell me the real you" he gets a bit defensive. He dodges the question about his past and anything regarding the orb, but he was also being 100% honest about who he is. He does love reading, he does write poetry, he does worship his cat, but that's all he really has going for him and he knows it's not substantial. At least not from his perspective. He's insecure.

Mystra was his entire life. He was secluded from childhood by a groomer and only had Tara and tutors on the side. Then he lived alone in his tower for over a year, fearing death, regretting his mistakes, and reevaluating his life. Companionship is literally the best thing you can offer Gale, because it's the only thing he truly wants. Even just a simple friendship means the world to him. Anything else you bring to the table is an absolute bonus. Don't forget, when you reach his maximum affinity he responds to your queries with, "Always a delight to speak with you."

[burningcheese-merchant]

I WILL NOW BE PRESENTING MY BURNINGCHEESE EVIDENCE TO THE COURT

It is Sunday. I have free time. There are people out there who still do not ship BurningCheese/GoldenSpice. This offends me. You all must now endure Maximum Annoyance in retaliation.

Exhibit A: The description of Burning Spice's throne decor ends with this line: "Now, after tasting the sweet joy of destruction and chaos, Burning Spice Cookie sits and meditates... waiting for the perfect moment to hunt down his prey."

This is most likely referring to Golden Cheese herself. She is constantly, directly called "prey" (and also "bird") by the Wild Spices throughout the story. Burning Spice himself calls his seeking of her "the bird hunt".

Smoked Cheese also remarks at one point that Burning Spice could probably go after them whenever he wishes; he's just toying with them, watching them go. Playing cat-and-mouse.

Two things can be drawn from all of this:

Burning Spice talks about Golden Cheese so often, and calls her "bird" and "prey" so often, that his forces have adopted these nicknames he's given her and now think of her as them themselves

Burning Spice has been sitting on his throne and watching/keeping track of her for literal hours, if not even longer than that. And he does that instead of just getting up and going after her immediately because he likes watching and chasing her. (ADDITIONAL NOTE: He yells "ALL THE WAITING I'VE ENDURED... FOR THIS?!" at her later on, further proving that he's spent for-fucking-ever just thinking about her and their meeting/fight. I will address this line again later.)

Exhibit B: As soon as Golden Cheese appears within his line of sight, he stops caring about anything else. Nutmeg Tiger speaks directly to him and he completely ignores her. He does not acknowledge Smoked Cheese in any way. He does not acknowledge the Spice Swarm in any way. The entire episode, the Wild Spices are combing every inch of their territory in search of her, claiming over and over again that if they bring her to Burning Spice, he will shower them with praise and glory. But when this finally happens, when they succeed in holding her in place and stalling for time for Burning Spice to arrive, no such thing happens. Burning Spice acknowledges nothing and no one except for her. It's as if time has stopped. Like the earth has ceased to rotate on its axis. All that exists in the universe is himself and Golden Cheese.

Exhibit C: First thing he says to her is "Finally... we meet." An expression of joy and relief that he finally gets to be face-to-face with her. Second thing is calling her the thief who stole the other half of his Soul Jam. THIRD THING IS A GODDAMN COMPLIMENT.

Of all the words of tongue and pen he could have chosen to give her. The cruel insults. The petty jabs. The cocky assertion of his impending victory over her. Even a single nod and commendation of his soldiers' hard work, even in passing. Nope. No, sir. All that time he spent waiting to meet her, all the time he had to think of something to say to her, and he chooses to say "hey, you did a sweet job of beating the shit out of my general, I fucking loved it" (and he honestly said it super weird. Go back and listen to the line. Listen closely to his tone. He sounds borderline flirtatious/seductive, I swear to God)

Exhibit D: Mr. Creepshot over here starts his gacha animation doing the yin-yang pose with Golden Cheese, and the way he opens his eyes and looks at her almost makes it look like he's either trying to peek up her collar at her chest, or trying to peek up her skirt:

Look at that twinkle in his eye. The predatory grin on his face. He is ZEROED IN on her. He looks like he wants to eat her for every meal of the day (and I don't just mean literally). Jail. Immediately.

Exhibit E: He does not stop smiling ONCE during their entire interaction, from the second he shows up to the end of their fight (and then he goes back to smiling like a maniac at her soon after anyway). He is grinning at her like he's the Joker and she's his Batman (and we all know how... attached to Batman Joker is lol). He looks like this - like she - is the only fun he's had in a long, long time. He is HAPPY to see her, even in this evil, deranged way.

Exhibit F: He looks at her like this:

No man that looks at a woman like this has holy intentions, I'm telling you. Wrath's not the only sin on his mind right now. Line directly below may or may not be related :)

Exhibit G: Some of his overworld dialogue seems to allude to Golden Cheese specifically.

"I do enjoy my prey to have a little fight in them!" - he says this exact line directly to her face in the story

"Why, I, too, once had things I held dear." - He's talking to you, the player. This is something he says when you tap on him in his little lobby. But it can be argued that he's talking to Golden Cheese, as well. He might be thinking of her, referencing her specifically when he says this, because... that's her. SHE had things she held dear. Things she loved, things she lost. Things she grieves still. He knows this. He reminds her of it. He might almost be trying to acknowledge a connection with/to her, beyond them sharing the Light of Change. He was like her once. He had people he loved and lost. (Watch his interaction w/ Nutmeg Tiger in your kingdom, it'll all but tell you this.) They have a lot more in common than just a power source. Maybe he knows this. Maybe he's trying to express that, to you and to her.

"Abundance? Hah! More stuff to break..." - 555-COME-ON-NOW

"Sorry to break it to you... but nothing is eternal!" - Again, he's talking to you/us, but he could just as easily be talking to/thinking of her when he says this. Golden Cheese always championed her kingdom and her wealth as eternal. She essentially doubles down on this notion through her keeping them all alive inside a digital fantasy world. Episode 18 is literally titled "Goddess of Eternal Gold". He could be making a jab at her here.

"Cookies clinging to their little possessions... Pathetic!" and "In the end, everything becomes dust." - Double whammy. Him talking/thinking about her here can be further supported by what he says to her before he rips her wings off: "Ruler of a fallen kingdom. The Tide of Change will swallow you whole. You will crumble and become dust, like all those trinkets you treasured so." Again, he already knows her whole life story. He knows what happened to her. To her people. To everything and everyone she ever loved. He knows she loves trinkets. He knows she revels in opulence. He already knows her well enough to know what to say to her and how, to drive the knife in deepest. He calls her dust. He reminds her of all of her precious trinkets that she loved so damn much. She clings to her little possessions. She will become dust. Like her kingdom already did. Like everything one day will.

Exhibit H: When he wins their fight and he's holding her over the cliff, he yells "ALL THE WAITING I'VE ENDURED... FOR THIS?!" (we're back to this line, just like I said!) Before you bring up him wanting the Soul Jam back (which he does, I do not deny this), consider this: he makes no move whatsoever to take it back, even when he's got her in his grasp and the Soul Jam is inches from his face. He's got her beat, pinned, but he leaves it at that. He doesn't even mention the Soul Jam at all, not even once. All he does is yell and throw a huge tantrum about how their battle didn't go the way he wanted it to. He just go on and on about how it can't end like this. His bird hunt can't end like this. Where's the thrill? He honestly seems to care less about the Soul Jam and more about her. It's not the "the Soul Jam hunt", it's "the BIRD hunt". He wants his power back, of course. But that's not all he wants. He wants her. He's after her.

Additional point, that may or may not be enough to count as Exhibit I: In the beginning, Saffron Buffalo tells Golden Cheese that Burning Spice chose her. After she and Smoked Cheese kick his ass, he says now he understands WHY Burning Spice chose her, and he was wrong to doubt her and her strength.

It can be inferred from this, from Burning Spice's reaction to her, from his reaction to their fight, from his reaction to her swift loss, that Burning Spice thinks highly of her and her capabilities, at least in his own evil, violent way. Enough for it to be noticeable even to his subordinates. Enough that he would not bend the knee if and when questioned. Enough that he's beyond disappointed when their fight ends the way it does. He wanted more from her. He expected more from her. He had high hopes for her, right from the jump. And she let him down. Broke his dark heart.

Burning Spice has had Golden Cheese on his mind for God and the Witches know how long. He thought well enough of her to choose her. To proudly state that she meets his standards. He waited for her, again for who really knows how long. He sat and meditated on her, on his hunt for her, on their fated meeting and battle. He was beyond pleased when she once again proved her might to him by taking out his general (even better, he might have gotten to see it happen as he was approaching the scene). He all but purrs his words of contentment at her prowess at her (go back and listen to him when he says that line. Pay close attention to the tone and cadence of his voice. He sounds... a certain way when he's talking to her. He really does, I mean it). He's entirely too pleased to see her. He comes to life when they battle. He looks like this is the best day of his whole damn life so far. He's angry and bitter when she throws it all away to save an insignificant child. He's angry and bitter she's taken everything he's done, all the time and effort he's spent, for granted. He's bitter enough to take pot shots at her. To sprinkle some salt in her wounds, where he knows it'll hurt most. He KNOWS her. He WAITED for her. He expected so much of her. Of course he wants the Soul Jam back. But he's shown that he wants Golden Cheese herself just as much.

In conclusion:

[kindofatheatrekid]

Soft Yandere! Veteran being pegged! (No. You're not on top.)

How long has it been since I promised a male reader pegging this old dude? Uhhhhh... 😢

How about we not think about that and like- uh- focus that it got done? I have absolutely wonderful pookies that motivated me to finish this so let's all thank my lovely alphas for this! I wanted this to be on kinktober but writer's block and all dat- 😄

This has pegging. Which is in the title. It's clearly NSFW. So like-

MINORS DNI. MINORS DNI. MINORS DNI.

Alright! Now that that's all said and done! Enjoy fucking this old man!

TWs: overstimulation, condescending behavior towards reader, cum play, nipple play, I think that's it- comment if I forgot something pls-

WORD COUNT: 1.6K

KINKTOBER DAY ONE: TEMPERATURE PLAY

Pleasure. That’s the only thing you could possibly be thinking of right now. With your dick shoved into his ass, yet he was the one in full control of this situation. It didn’t matter that it was your hands on his hips— no. Your hands were just finding a place to grab onto while he rides you like he’s trying to drain you dry of both cum and life. This had to be why he looked like a silver fox, right? Stealing the vitality of the poor youth that got caught in his seductive ways. Which, in this case, was unfortunately and fortunately you. It was so warm inside him, the slowly cooling water only accentuating just how much more warmer he was— both from the soft walls that were clenching onto your dick like a vice, and from his skin. The wrinkled, aged skin that only made him even hotter in your eyes. White mixed with black hair on his arms just like his head.

Your eyes tear up from the sheer euphoria he was giving you, tongue almost shamelessly lolling as your mouth stayed open. If it wasn’t for that familiar, irritatingly enchanting glint in the old man’s eyes— moan after loud moan would have been falling off your kiss-bitten lips by now.

Speaking of lips, the reason for your current dilemma was now sliding his thumb over your bruised lower lip. His other hand goes to caress your cheek, the warmth forcing a groan to slip from you without warning. He notices the drool that threatened to leak, using it to coat your dry lips�� dry from the heavy breaths you forced yourself to take as he rode you.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Cat got your tongue?” He chuckles out as you try to focus a glare on him, pathetically failing due to your vision blurring from the incoming tears. His hips suddenly slam down onto you; a brash, animalistic noise leaving you as you’re buried down to the hilt.

Heaven. This must be what heaven felt like.

Your hands scramble to grab onto his hips, grip almost bruising as if he was the only thing grounding you to reality right now. The almost hypnotic grinding of his groin towards yours not helping with the way your mind wanted to shut down immediately. The cool water, the heat from your combined breaths, the way his hands left trails of fire with every inch they grope your skin— there was just so much for your poor brain to handle.

It honestly felt like you were being used as a dildo with how little work you were doing for maximum pleasure. To be honest, you would happily live your days out as his dildo if that was a choice. His raging hard-on kept on rubbing against your stomach, pre-cum and bath water slick on your skin.

Water droplets dripped down from your hair as you chewed on your lower lip— eyes laser-focused on his cock. His cock that you wanted to touch and feel in your hands. Your left hand lets go of his hip just for it to tentatively stroke his neglected dick; the heat in your palm making you shiver in the water. Thumb slowly tracing circles along the slit of its head, pre-cum continuously dripping down to your wrist and into the already cloudy cold water.

You didn’t want to be the only one losing their head, determined to make him fall into this mindless pleasure you were presently in too. You wanted him to bear himself out like you were doing, to show you the raw, primal instincts that you also had. To the point where manners would be shoved aside, and the two of you would just take and take from each other.

His pace noticeably slows down at the growing pressure of your strokes— hand slowly, yet purposefully, running down his entire length. Fingers smearing the thin fluids along the veined skin, feeling it throbbing in your hands. You could hear the way his heart quickens to the same -if not faster- pace of yours, could see the lust-induced haze in the corners of his eyes.

You use this chance to buck your hips up without warning, relishing in the way his throat hitched. Hand reaching down to squeeze his aching balls that were full of cum ready to be released. Your own cock twitched inside him, not faring better than him— overstimulated, needy, desperate: those were the words that could perfectly describe your deafening thoughts at the moment.

Right when you think that you’ve managed to win this unspoken game between the two of you, his lips curve up into a grin. His eyes held a knowing glint, as if he could read what was exactly on your mind right now— it felt like he was stripping you with his gaze despite your nudity. Crow’s feet deepened while his eyes held an obvious twinkle of mischief.

You should’ve remembered that unspoken games have unspoken rules.

He brings his roughened hands up from the water, skin ice-cold from being in the water for too long. His hands sensually slide up your body -your warm skin prickling from the cold- until they stay on your chest. He could probably feel how hard your heart was pumping right now, wrinkled palm right on top of it. Your eyes meet: calm meeting with panicked, smug meeting with wary.

Rule #1: He’ll always be in charge.

Your back arches when his weathered fingers pinch your nipples— senses confused as warmth floods inside your body, yet everything outside is cold. A gasp-like moan involuntarily leaves your lips, lips formed into an o-shape as your grip on his cock tightens reflexively. A deep groan escaping him as well from the squeeze, cool fingers still refusing to stop as he twisted your nipples almost painfully.

Another, louder, moan is forced out from your vocal cords when his head dips down— lips clamped onto one of your nipples, rough stubble grazing against your wet skin. You couldn’t help but come when his hot tongue swirls around the sensitive nub, teeth grazing against the already tortured skin. Eyes rolled back once again for what felt like the hundredth time. Your other nipple, receiving the same cruel treatment with his icy fingers. He definitely felt when you came; the water significantly more opaque as your cum dripped down his thighs and into the tub you were both in. Your cock still painfully hard in him despite coming just a few seconds ago.

Rule #2: You’re the bitch. Not him.

His eyelashes flutter when he finally releases your nipple from his soft lips, fingers already tweaking it before you could even sigh in relief. Your hand quickly lets go of his cock to grab onto his steel reinforced hips for bearing again— forehead pressed against his chest as you whine for him to stop.

“Why are you moaning, лапочка? I’m the one with your dick in my ass so why are you acting like our positions are reversed, little one?” Fuck. His dirty talk only made you want to beg him for more.

Your moans only get louder as he pulls on your nipples, drool pouring out from your lips like you were a brainless zombie— lips unable to remain closed. Shivers ran across your entire body, body trembling from both the cold and your overused cock. You were sure that you were only shooting blanks by now, every pathetic squirt easily seeping into the cloudy bathwater. You’d need to take a shower afterwards to clean all the come off you.

Rule #3: Don’t ever expect to walk after he’s done.

A choked whimper leaves you when he finally pulls himself off you agonizingly slow, your limbs feeling like jelly by now. You didn’t resist when he brought you into his arms, mind a slurry of contradicting sensations and abused instincts. Your eyelids drooping when he captures your lips in his, the kiss a slow, but careful one— everything he did had a reason and was meticulously planned out. A likely habit from his youth.

“You did so well, Солнце. Such a good boy for me. I’m so proud of you~” He croons out in a heavy voice, peppering kisses all along your face as his scarred hands snake up to your neck— his touch tender as he strokes your warming face. His own, ignored, cock still stiff and raised while he pampered you with the kisses you desperately needed right now. Your voice just whines for more of his attention, arms wrapping around his cold body to pull you closer to him.

The two of you just stay in the chilled bathwater for a moment, clinging onto each other for warmth as your labored breaths become background white noise. His lips trail down to your neck, pressing kisses onto your frigid skin— your breath hitching as his tongue slips out to run a fiery trail of saliva up to your jawline. An almost hissed out groan leaving his lips when he tastes the cold salt on your skin.

His eyes looked practically feral at this point, licking his lips clean of your taste before he crashed his lips onto yours to share what he thought was his own heaven. Swallowing down all your moans and whimpers like a starving man who finally got a feast laid out in front of him.

He reluctantly breaks from the kiss for the both of you to breathe. His hot breaths harsh on your skin as he leans his lips closer to your ear— whispering at a volume where you could only hear even if there was no one else around you two. A little secret that only you would know with him.

“As sweet as ever, Милый.”

Translation:

Солнце = sunshine

лапочка = sweetie pie / cutie

Милый = dear / darling

A/N:

Damn. I honestly didn't think this pegging would win. It was honestly included as both a joke and the consequence of staying up too late for too many consecutive nights... (Y'ALL TORTURED ME. THIS WAS SO HARD TO KEEP THIS OLD MAN'S HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE WHILE BEING RAMMED!!) 😟

There. Y'all got to fuck the old dude. Happy now?? But anyways please comment anything you want me to do. (It'll take time, though. I'm not chat GTP okay?) 😩

Just no vomit, scat, and the works okay? Golden showers are a hell no too. Look. I'm not going to kink shame here, but I cannot write anything like that due to my BOUNDARIES. Non-con, baby trapping, and other dark matters are fine. I love that shit. But yeah. Maybe I'll make another OC, maybe not. It really depends on my mood. 😘

AUTHOR OUT! 😌

[elektramustdie]

𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬.

Hi!! so this is my first time writing on Tumblr, but I think I can do it lol so yeah!!

NSFW BELOW >_<

warnings , Dom/sub dynamics, unprotected sex ( don’t be silly wrap that willy ) , choking, oral (fem receiving) slight daddy kink.

Agreeing to go on tour with Ronnie was one of the best decisions you've ever made, travelling to every corner of the world and watching your boyfriend perform in front of thousands of people in the most extravagant outfits every night was honestly a dream, but now after four months being on the road with him you we're finally going home for a break. "Wake up darling'' Ronnie said stroking your cheek, it was only 7'o'clock in the evening in the us, but jet lag was getting the better of you so Ronnie being more accommodated to flying here there an everywhere gladly drove you two home from the airport whilst you napped. You give him a lazy smile stretching your arms in the air "we're home" you say excitedly looking at the front of your home, you honestly thought you forgot what it looked like after not seeing it in 4 months. He smiled, admiring his girl and how cute she looked rubbing her sleepy eyes with her whole palm like a child.

He opens his door and climbs out of the car, quickly making his way to your side to open the door for you like the gentleman he is, "m'lady" he gestures for you to get out the car " well thankyou kind sir" you giggle at him, pecking his cheek on your way to the back of the car.

You two make a quick job of getting all your luggage into the house, only dumping them in the porch already agreeing to deal with it in the morning. You walk into the kitchen to be greeted by Lacy your cat, You felt bad for leaving her for so long but a friend insisted that nothing would happen while she house sit. "hey dais how are you, missed you soo much" you coo towards her she let you stroke her for a maximum of two seconds before she spots Ronnie in the doorway and bounds over to him. You chuckle, Daisy had always had a soft spot for Ronnie and you couldn't really blame her "not giving mama cuddles huh, missed your daddy too much" he said with the cat laid in his arms, her paws up as if she was in surrender, Eventually she scrambled out of his arms going to her bed in the living room you presumed. "Wanna go and watch a film in bed baby, I can choose whatever, Your not making me watch The Notebook again"

"You cried at the end but whatever" she rolls her eyes and smiles walking to grab his outstretched hand. The two of you trudge up the stairs, and when you finally make it to the top you run into the bedroom that you and Ronnie shared, and jumped onto your California king bed, making Ronnie laugh at your antics. You had truly missed this bed after being in a tour bus for what seemed like forever.

There was just something about the duvet and the memory foam mattress cover that you couldn't get enough of. The sheets were extra soft and smelled like fresh flowers, You laid flat on your back with your arms and legs splayed out like a starfish. "This is better than sex" You say jokingly but sounded quite serious due to how comfortable you were. This made Ronnie spin round to face you with his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips. He made his way to the bed, you had your eyes closed so when you felt his breath against the side of your neck it made you jump and a shiver ran down you spine. "You sure about that sweet girl?" You open you eyes in shock, not knowing what you said would get him riled up that quickly, or bruise his forever increasing ego, but you knew if you kept playing along he would give it to you really good just so that he could prove you wrong, and you were all for it.

"Are you saying that this bed is better than my cock…my fingers…and my mouth?" Kissing you on the sweet spot on your neck between his words.

‘Hmm, | don't know you'll have to show me can't remember."

"Oh baby you don't know what you've gotten your self into, I'm gonna make you remember it for days" making a moan escape your lips, he pounced on top of you pinning you arms above your head kissing you on you lips multiple times before pecking all the way down you chest and tummy.

Ronnie knew you were probably joking but he loved having his way with you and for the last 4 months being on tour the only sort of intimacy you two had was quick fucks in dressing and hotel rooms with being so busy all the time and at night Ronnie was understandably tired after doing a show. He wanted to dominate the shit out of you tonight and you had just added fuel to the fire, so with no fear of someone walking in on you both he was going to let loose. 

He pulls back and releases your arms, "strip for me baby, then | want you to sit at the top of the bed with your back against the headboard" you moaned softly at his words, already putty in his hands and instantly start undressing as he did the same.

Once you were naked, and sat against the headboard you couldn't help but stare at your boyfriend pulling his t-shirt over his head making his arms flex, your pussy become slick with your wetness as you watched him. Once he freed his cock from the confines of his boxers, he gives his shaft a few tugs trying to relieve some of the building pressure.

‘Jesus, Your so hot’ he groans crawling up the bed, you legs spreading even more on instinct to give him more room. He lays on his belly once he is closer to you wrapping his arms around your thighs swiftly dragging you so that his face was barely centre metres away from your sopping cunt, you drape you legs over his shoulder heels digging into his back.

"M'gonna use my mouth… and my fingers and I'm gonna make you cum so hard sweet girl" you squirm in his grip his, eyes looking directly into yours. He gives you no warning as he ducks down pressing a kiss directly on your clit, then licking a bold stripe up your entire pussy "always to wet for me, you taste just like a strawberry angel." You throw your head back, your hands gripping onto the sheets to prepare yourself for what was to come.

He focuses back on your clit flicking his tongue from side to side, he teases his middle finger round your entrance making you buck your hips "patience dollface " he says removing his lips from your clit to suck a hickey onto the inside of your thigh. "Feels so so good Ronnie" the first words you had spoken except moan after moan since Ronnie started, your fingers pinching your nipples, he smirks up at you, his cock twitching against the sheets. He decides to give you his fingers, inserting two at the same time, you whine at how easily they slid into you. He gives no time to adjust curling them into a ‘cone hither’ motion then pumping them in and out going knuckle deep every time hitting spots that you would never have been able to fine with your own, a calloused finger rubbing tight circles around you clit. "How good is daddy making you feel, tell me"

"So f-fucking good, your fingers feel amazing inside me daddy" you can't stop your eyes from rolling into the back of your head as his mouth finds it's place back on your clit, adding a third finger into you cunt, still thrusting at a delicious pace, You could feel the knot tightening in your belly, but not only that you felt like a balloon was ready to burst within you.

You tangle your lingers In his hair, knowing that he loved it when you tugged on his curls, but you also did it so that he wouldn't pull away and deny you of an orgasm when you were almost falling off the edge. "Clenching around my fingers baby, know your gonna cum, stop holding back let go for me"

‘Fuck Ronnie , I'm so close’ you cry out "Yeah you gonna squirt for me, soak the sheets?" "Yes!" You scream "Go on then, cum for me pretty girl"

You couldn't hold back any longer, after a few more thrusts of his fingers you let go screaming as you do, the ballon inside you also bursting, he moaned out. Your legs were shaking, your head was thrown back, and your back arched as he continued thrusting his fingers inside of you to ride out your intense orgasm. After a few moments you took in a sharp breath having forgotten how to breathe "holy shit" you barely mustered up, you felt like you were floating in mid air, you don't think you've cum that hard in a very long time.

After a couple of minutes you start to come down from your high, you look at Ronnie who was still in the same position, his eyes were glazed over in lust "that was so fucking hot swear | could've cum just right there and then" Ronnie swore he could spend hours between your legs, he couldn't get enough of your taste. Eventually he presses one last kiss on your clit, before blowing air directly onto the small bud, making you squirm at the overstimulation.

He moves up your body, pressing kisses against your skin along the way, swirling his tongue around your hardened nipples then blowing air only each in just like he had done to your clit making a shiver run up your spine. He reaches your lips kissing, dipping his tongue into your mouth so that you could taste your juices.

"Was that good baby" his words muffled by your lips.

'Yes, m’kinda sleepy now though’ you say shutting your eyes a lazy smile spreading across your face. "No falling asleep on me now, haven't even fucked you yet" This makes you perk up a bit, now yearning to be filled with Ronnie's cock, you had only just come down from your last orgasm but you were ready for another one." ‘Want you to come deep inside of me, want you to fill me up so bad" you whine.

"You want my cock baby’

'Yes please’ you were desperate now.

"Well since you asked so nicely’ he reaches down tugging his cock a few times spreading pre-cum over his length, before slipping into your warm cunt both of you groaning at the feeling, he thrusts all the way inside you his length stretching your walls deliciously. " Ohhh sweet girl, swear you pretty cunt was made for me, can | move now? " You nod. he instantly complies not being able to stay still any longer. He starts a steady pace pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back in hitting the deepest spots within you. You reach your arms over his shoulders tracing some of his tattoos along the way then gripping onto the soft skin. Whimpers and groans filled the room as. Ronnie buried his face in your neck, your natural scent mixed with your favourite perfume intoxicating him, you take your chance to suck a hickey onto his neck after not having much time to mark him up. He was fucking into you at a fast pace now, getting lost in pleasure "so deep" you moan. He moved his face from your neck, gripping onto the headboard with one hand to get more leverage, the sight of him above you pounding you into the mattress turned you on even more if that was possible. 

His hand flies to your throat gripping it just enough so it restricted you breathing slightly, "like that baby, you love it when daddy rough with you, don't ya?"

"Yes daddy, fucking love it' you scream as he starts hitting your g-spot repeatedly.

" Oh shit, I'm gonna cum, you gonna cum with me" he groans hand getting slightly tighter around your throat.

"'m gonna cum too, please keep fucking me like that" you mumnle out as your eyes roll into the back of your head your heels looped round his back and crossed at the ankle to keep him as close as possible. His thrusts start to falter and his cock twitches telling you he was about to fall over the edge ‘cum inside me ronnie want you to make me yours forever. please daddy want it soo much" you whimper also starting to tumble over.

" I'm cumming" he growls sheathing into your cunt his cock twitching one last time, he emptied his load inside you, the sensation of his seed filling you up also made you cum, Ronnie's grip on your throat giving you a head-rush as you do, you both felt euphoric. After the waves of your release come crashing down in you. your body goes limp, you know that you will be sore tomorrow and probably the day after but it was all worth it. Ronnie takes longer to come down from his high, his cum now dripping out of your pussy. "You okay?" you say sweetly looking up at him.

‘Oh I'm more than okay baby, feel fucking incredible’ He takes his loosened hand off of your throat before resting his body on top of yours, his cock still buried inside of you ‘I take back that last statement about this bed being better than sex’ you whispered breathlessly into his hair. "You better’ he tiredly laughs into your neck. 





































[cillyscribbles]

i promised cats metaposting 2 bagpipe boogaloo and i am a bitch of my word here we go

cats 1998: the rum tum tugger + these hands are rated G for grizabella

(theory wank under cut call that catracter development)

(theory wank about munkustrap & grizabella here for those uninitiated)

RIGHT SO unfortunately this one is no longer semi-coherent overanalysis of microexpression but a full descent into conspiratorial madness, so please remain aware of the fact that this is a tangent missing textual support at the best of times. it's entirely possible and even likely that rum tum tugger is genuinely just a bitch to grizabella because that's who he is as a person and doesn't like what she smells like or something idfk. anyway.

welcome to my red string board of why rum tum tugger actually doesn't dislike her for no reason and totally has depth and yeah we're poor little meow meowing a white boy with more hubris than eyeliner, classic essay genre on tumblr, at least he's a catboy this time and the hubris-eyeliner ratio is actually a close call.

anyway, for any of my theorizing to make sense, here are the two headcanons it's all based on:

grizabella is an (ex-)wife of old deuteronomy and the mother of rum tum tugger (and munkustrap if you're so inclined)

grizabella left the jellicle cats at some point when rum tum tugger was a kitten or otherwise a very young cat

and honestly the rest just flows from the mommy issues to be honest. there's a load of alternate explanations and theories and headcanons and mine's by no means the right one necessarily, but i do have to admit the family angst it allows for is balls to the walls insane because it just. it fits what we see on screen so well!

look at this clown i love him. he ONLY does the puff-up at grizabella. and even though that supports my theorizing it's also honestly a bit of a loss i think. it's such an evocative cat-thing. i want him to do that when something jumpscares him lmao. i NEED him to do that at old deuteronomy jokingly and get cuffed on the back of the head by munkustrap for being a professional youngest child. anyway

don't get me wrong, the fact that tugger has a grudge against grizabella isn't anything special, most older cats do; hell, some of them deliberately walk past her Judgementally (bombalurina, notably) or shake their head at her in disapproval (jennyanydots), but it's so pointedly constant and so pointedly Pointed with tugger that it draws my eye. every time she appears, he has to clearly and explicitly broadcast his displeasure with the fact that she's daring to breathe at them.

like, she's not In His Way or anything here. he doesn't have to walk past her if he doesn't want to. he doesn't have to look at her; plenty of other cats pretend she doesn't exist when she looks at them. but not only does he do all those things, he explicitly looks at her and puffs his coat up again. he's walking at a fairly brisk pace toward her and actually slows down to do it. it's such a deliberately mean thing to do it's stuck between really extra and really petty. exactly the same with the jellicle choice scene.

my man's being so petty this should be constituted as bullying lmao. look at that! nobody likes you still! sucks to be you i guess! like. this man would be pouncival doing the fake pranks and scratching her if he was a kitten. he's just, constantly upping his level of mean to her. in the first scene he at least has the decency to walk out in the opposite direction of her.

a really professional youngest child. again, all that ^ is fairly grounded thought on character performance i think if you don't really connect it to anything, but i'm connecting it to abandonment issues for maximum ouch lmao.

so, bear with me for a moment: for whatever reason, grizabella leaves the jellicles, including her husband and kid(s). (if you're a fan of the theory about macavity being the third brother to munkustrap and tugger, i mean, she might've just left with him because he was her kid. i dunno.) and you're tugger. Baby tugger, even. you don't understand why she'd leave you. was it you? were you too much? were you not enough? of course not, but you're a little cat with a lot of pride and all the makings of a Petty Little Bastard in you, so you say fuck all that. i'm not too much; i'm actually more than enough. i'm the best! and i'll make damn sure you never forget it!

i feel like if you include munkustrap in that too it gets to be a really interesting dynamic. tugger's mean and angry and going out of his way to show it, and munkustrap is just kind of. "can we not do this" about it. really seems like he'd rather be somewhere else, but, i mean, welcome to The Unpleasant Shit being his job. professional eldest sibling.

she approaches him and he actively goes absolutely not oh look at that what a nice corner i'll just go stand over there. meanwhile tugger's determined to be all OH! OH LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!! WELCOME HOME CHEATER!!!!!! about it. like i already made a post about this so i won't get into it again but i really don't think munkustrap is all that mad at her, which gives tugger's attitude some nice contrast.

continuing with dynamics for a moment, i feel like tugger either has real Attuned Parental Figure Senses or is surprisingly perceptive for his character? this isn't necessarily connected with the point before, but i mean, he stops his whole entire number MID-DANCE MOVE to point out grizabella. he does do it with great flow though you must admit.

he loves attention!! that's established!! whether or not he's up for it at All Times we can have a discussion about (he really just dips out after his number to recharge for a good while lol) but he's here having the time of his life, BOOM one whiff of grizz and he's tearing down the party decorations, that's it, everyone go home.

i'd attribute it to him just Really Having That Big of a grudge if he didn't also kinda sorta activate his Deuteronomy Detect power during the lad's arrival LMAO.

look at that! he beats munkustrap to it! admittedly i can't see the rest of the stage so it might be that all the other cats already saw it and he's just pointing old deuteronomy out to munkustrap as the latter's too busy looking the other way. but it's still a funky way to get in character traits besides Mean & A Whore!

ok and another notable thing, and to me something really interesting, it that tugger never does end up touching grizabella, even though he has the choice to.

after she's first accepted back via touch from victoria, the cats sort of line up to show their affections too. it's a really nice scene in my opinion, you get the sense that all those cats really are happy to be able to take back an old friend and i'm all for it. but the cherry is that tugger is being Really Interestingly Acted here - he leads cassandra closer so she can reach out to grizabella, but tugger himself stays behind with this sort of blank expression over him. even those cats i mentioned before - jennyanydots and bombalurina - get the moment to hold grizabella's hands and smile and encourage her on. tugger doesn't do that.

grizabella doesn't touch every cat, granted, but even those she doesn't touch are reaching out to her, which is pretty much as good as. they all do enough of that sort of implied gesture throughout the musical that it shows it's affection and acceptance all the same whether or not physical contact is made, like for example old deuteronomy's greeting and the moments before the jellicle choice; the first one's posed similarly to grizabella's return, everyone's trying to touch old deuteronomy, but they're perfectly fine with sort of just reaching out and being reached out to (note mr mistoffelees and bombalurina). in the second one it's even sillier because both munkustrap and old deuteronomy could clear the like 10cm of distance between them, but the reaching and willingness is more than enough for that mutual understanding to come between them. basically intent > result (side note: this is not a good rule for life outside of the cats musical).

tugger doesn't reach out. doesn't try to get any closer than he already got and stays in the shadow behind the rest, just watching her go for a bit before he dips again.

with the way he's squashed behind asparagus jr here i can't tell if he's bowing or nodding or what, but i think it'd be really funny if he was just trying to make himself shrink a little. like hanging his head nope i'm not here don't look at me goodbye. so completely contradictory to his usual vibe it's hilarious.

it is interesting to think about though, in my opinion, that he spends pretty much the rest of the musical in the shadow and separated from the other celebrating cats. he climbs up onto the chest and stays on that platform for the rest of the show while the other cats are being directed by munkustrap to follow and then surround old deuteronomy.

it's interesting - he may be positioned above the other cats physically, but it makes him feel sort of separated if you know what i mean. there's usually this pretty clear separation between munkustrap and the other cats when they're on screen, they might crouch when he stands and reach out to him when he's talking, but this time munkustrap is just down there calling upon the vibes with the other cats, and only makes his way up to old deuteronomy's right after grizabella's gone and it's time for the closing number. rum tum tugger straight up bounces as they're going to the russel hotel LMAO.

he does hype her up as she's going up, which is also really cute. he's off to the side so the other cats aren't really looking at him, but even as old deuteronomy shows her the rest of them, grizabella's eyes linger on tugger's wee rockstar schtick and it just kind of melts me.

anyway. man may be conflicted but he's happy mum gets a retry whether anyone likes it or not. and i think that's nice. :)

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 2

much shorter episode this week! probably because it consisted mostly of golf so they decided between this and team torque they would have mercy on us and cut most of it. still lots to work with though. obviously. because it's them.

love a little throwback to episode one, we've got "genuinely trying to go along with the program and introduce the gist of the show" and "so completely zoned out you'd have better luck getting the attention of a cat chasing a laser" except this time it's switched up. i'm pretty sure alex does like a maximum of three introductions out of the whole series, if that, so you just know they said, "Logan, do you want to go first?" and he put on the most nonchalant amiable expression and said "Hmm... I think Alex should go first since I did it the last time" and then alex just glares daggers at him but knows he can't throw a fit about it in front of the crew and logan's smiling ear-to-ear like "what you gonna do about it?" oh, and also, last week they were even leaning back on the same couch and literally giving "two bros chillin in a hot tub five inches apart cause they're not sure if the other is gay" BUT here we are standing up no couch no excuse and logan's just "you're my new center of gravity now". okay. okay sure.

Alex (already done with this, looking GENUINELY distressed): "It's windy out here, we don't have real golfballs so it's gonna go everywhere..."

Logan: "You're a lot better at golf than me, so I expect you to do well."

WHOA alright. first of all from everything we got so far (not a lot) the main dynamic seems to be: logan acting confident and cocky and arrogant just to annoy alex and also gazing at him with the most endearing/loving/shit-eating expressions, and alex being awkward and out of his comfort zone and taking it too seriously but eventually losing his focus because he can't help but smile back at logan. which i LOVE. but alex is already getting frustrated before the challenge begins and logan is like what... comforting him? reassuring him? boosting his confidence? "i expect you to do well" whole body turned completely to face him. like dammmn alright breaking the theme a little but that's honestly so sweet... also should i mention that we are literally less than thirty seconds into the video and they're already facing AWAY from the camera and TOWARDS each other. and in a few seconds they'll literally turn around to talk to each other looking at the game setup like this is not how you do media you guys know this and yet

(Golf session ends, Logan wins because Alex spent the whole time grappling with the wind)

Logan: "Alright, well... as you saw, little bit of a dominant display there..."

and then he has to abandon that sentence immediately because they both start laughing, like straight up giggling almost breathless like "wait did i really just say that out loud" "did he really just say that out loud" and logan turns RIGHT into alex AGAIN because he's watching every possible reaction plain on alex's face 😂 like alex is both startled and amused and endeared and very incredulous. at one point he straight-up looks at the camera and raises his eyebrows like "oh yeah? WAS it though? can you BELIEVE this guy look at him he doesn't even believe himself" like I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. honestly i'm just gonna have to make a gif of it because it's so- it's just so obvious.

oh my god, that's just– this is just adorable. this is gonna be my lockscreen i swear because look at them. alex is still laughing trying not to but that earlier comment just threw him off and logan is leaning into him purposely pushing his arm against alex's (he does it twice) and he's just so happy he 1) made alex laugh 2) made alex FLUSTERED jesus christ get that boy some water and 3) got away with it. this is what i meant about logan being alex's turnaround point. he literally lost at the golf game just like he was worried he would and yet here he's the most happy and comfortable he's been all video

okay let's round it off with– alex what the FUCK is this posture. i was going to take a ss already because of how close he leaned into logan (we know you can see the goddamn ipad alex you aint slick) and THEN he did this. shoulders slanted. hand on the hip. face like the gay best friend about to judge the shit out of the guy you're falling for. what in the actual fuck is going on here i mean i was so not ready for the amount of cunt that was served in a literal shift of position. also can we talk about how alex is literally built like a spaghetti noodle and the height difference is very very obvious but here he's throwing out ✨that hip✨ and they're definitely closer to the same height? that is both adorable and just absolutely ridiculous and i'm loving every second of it. the fact that logan is entirely oblivious just makes it funnier.

the smiles, guys. the smiles. i'm breaking my own heart rewatching these but god fucking dammit james vowels i'll take what i can get.

episode 3

[luckypoppymilliemama]

I am seriously so saddened to realize people have used my name and my cat to steal money from some of you. This is crazy, never, ever did I think that my Poppy would be used negatively.

Let’s give a little rundown of who we are. I’m Michelle, a 30-something year old married mama to 3 skin kittens, and 3 fuzzy kittens. One of my skin kittens is an adult, the other two are rapidly approaching attempting to leave the nest. I am disabled, physically and mentally which leads to emotionally, too. My fuzzy kittens help a lot with that.

2 summers ago, a friend texted me asking if I wanted a kitten. Of course I did. Then I found out she was a feral kitten that her mama had left behind because her one back leg was missing a foot, so she couldn’t climb and jump like the rest of the kittens were, and she was getting too heavy to carry in her mouth. That kitten now only have 3 legs, and is my Lucky baby.

Come early February of the next year, I saw on a friend’s aunts rescue site two of the most gorgeous little calico kittens I had ever seen. I claimed them before Valentine’s Day, even though I wouldn’t be able to get them until after Mother’s Day since they were slow to grow. They were attached at the hip, there was no way I could get one and not the other. Those were my Poppy girl and Millie moon.

That’s how I ended up with my fuzzy kittens. They are the best fuzzy kittens I have ever met. All 3 of them have a different job in calming me and my middle daughter down while in emotional crisis. Poppy is and has always been that calming rumble that you try to concentrate on instead of everything else that is happening. And it works more than anyone would believe.

Poppy is sick. My go fund me has all the explanations and updates you could ever need; I even have to add the email with the vet when she gets a chance to email back to me. I have endless pictures and videos to show she is my little love.

Please, if you can, share this post anywhere and everywhere, across all forms of social media. My follower numbers are so low, I’m surprised it’s not a negative number. I know a bunch of you got scammed, and I’m sorry. I really am. If I could make it better, I would.

Myself, I’ve even cut back some of my less essential but still needed medications so I have the money to get Poppy the treatment she deserves. I just need my baby girl to be better. It’s time sensitive because we honestly don’t know how much time she has left with her red blood cell count being in the low 10s percent wise (I think it was 13-14% last time, and it should be above 35). I am extremely transparent in what I show you all because if you are helping pay for it, I figure you have a right to see where the care is going and what it’s being used for.

We are trying to get the maximum amount of funding so we can get all the testing done because the liver and spleen are just as important as the bone marrow biopsy, but we will not look a gift horse in the mouth. Whatever we get it, it’s another cent that we didn’t have to scrounge around to find, another minute off the ever clicking clock.

Best ways to donate: to the hospital itself:

Philadelphia Animal Specialty and Emergency

Dial 267-727-3738, press 2, ask to place a credit on Poppy Riggs account, #FE22554C. All of this info is able to be found on the images in the gofundme.

The Gofundme. It is the *only* go fund me I have up. Anything else is a scam.

These account below are the only official ways to donate outside of the gofundme.

My email is listed below, and I am willing to answer any and all questions via email or on here, your choice.

Thank you so much for helping. It means everything to us.

[miraclegemz]

SONIC POLL RESULTS

Hello people from this poll! This is a breakdown of the poll results with evidence! Please note that this only included events from the games. But before that lemme preface this with I Did Not expect the poll to get *checks notes* 8,639 votes?!!?? I expected like 150 max. So that’s why some response were kinda exaggerated or just straight up wrong because I’m incapable of counting. So here’s the results!

Option 1: Shadow the Hedgehog gets crucified (TRUE from Sonic 06)

Ok so this is what I meant when I said I exaggerated some stuff. No he does not get nailed to a cross. However, he does get put in T-pose jail.

(From here starting at 11:37). Considering the context of being forsaken by humanity after the world ends, and that you can’t really nail a guy to a wooden cross in a fiery wasteland, this is pretty damn close to a crucifixion (cyber crucifixion? It is 200 years in the future). I may have exaggerated but I am prepared to stand by it.

Option 2: Sonic gets thrown into a maximum security prison (TRUE from Sonic Adventure 2)

This was way more known compared to option 1. So during SA2 sonic gets framed for stuff he didn’t do as a coverup and he gets imprisoned on Prison Island

(From here at 6:40)

Option 3: Tails gets turned into a cyborg (TRUE from Sonic Lost World)

I kinda don’t blame people for not knowing this one since this game was kinda boring, Tails gets captured by the villains of this game and they turn him into a robot to fight Sonic. However Tails was able to circumvent their brainwashing and keep his free will.

(From here at 26:21)

Option 4: Knuckles beats the shit out of a ghost (TRUE from Sonic Adventure 2)

This also hails from SA2 as a random one-off boss fight that has nothing to do with the main story. It’s cool as fuck though.

(From here)

Option 5: Sonic gets Isekai’d twice (TRUE from multiple games)

Ok so I fucked up this one. I only counted the Sonic Storybook Games of which there are two (in which sonic is sent to worlds based around the Arabian Nights and Arthurian Legend). However Sonic has been thrown into different dimensions both in Sonic Rush Adventure and Sonic Forces and probably some others I’m forgetting about. That’s honestly my bad BUT I’m technically still right

Option 6: Eggman asks Sonic “How did you get here so quickly?” (TRUE from Sonic Unleashed)

This is probably the best line in the series since Eggman is being completely serious asking this to his arch-nemesis with super speed. Come on dude.

(From here at 20:35)

Option 7: A Frog swallows a Chaos Emerald (TRUE from Sonic Adventure)

Yeah so a cat’s pet frog swallowed a chaos emerald, grew a tail, and got chased around the country by both the cat and Eggman’s robots. Don’t worry the frog and cat were reunited safely in the end.

(From here)

Option 8: Shadow gets possessed by a time god (FALSE)

I found you, faker!

While Shadow has been subject to mind control by an evil alien overlord, been a victim of identity theft by half of a time god (pictured)

and also abducted by a different (or the same?) time god, he has not been possessed and/or controlled by a time god.

And Finally,

Option 9: Amy can turn invisible (TRUE from Sonic 06)

Yes, this is true. It is a one-off ability that is never explained nor brought up again.

(From here at 2:04)

In Conclusion

Go play/watch Sonic 06

[fishbrain-glubglub]

The fight was going on forever, and Danny was exhausted.

Plasmius had appeared in Amity Park, flaunting some evil plan or whatever. Danny had honestly stopped paying attention after the fourth "Little Badger" and was just trying to figure out a way to escape so he could not study for his upcoming Biology exam and maybe catch more than five hours of sleep in a night.

At least the "not studying" part seemed to be going well for him.

"Honestly, Daniel, I expected more from you." The vampire-imitator blasted a pink ecto-ray at the boy, who didn't have the energy to dodge, and was sent sprawling onto the nearest rooftop, oozing ectoplasm from various cuts across his body. His healing factor was slowed due to lack of rest, and his body was utilizing more of his ecto-energy to just stay in his ghost-form, let alone try and counter-attack. If it wasn't for the fact it was a weekday, Danny would've put more effort into fighting back so he could spend the next day resting.

"Sorry to disappoint, Vlad." Danny rose slowly to his feet, hoping he wasn't shaking. "Not everyone can lounge around in an oversized mansion making thousands of dollars by just breathing."

"Oh, but you could, my boy. All you have to do is-"

"Renounce my father and become your loyal son, blah blah blah." Danny rolled his eyes and held his still bleeding side, praying to keep his ghost form long enough to escape. "You're so predictable. Is there anything you think about that isn't pining over my mom and bribing my loyalty? Get a cat or something."

Plasmius growled and sent another blast to the boy, knocking him back to the ground. Coughing up what felt like three lungs, Danny looked up at the looming fruit loop and shuttered before his ghost form finally dissipated. Ectoplasm transformed into blood and began staining his normal clothes before he was picked up by the back of his shirt. As Danny was turned to face Plasmius, he noticed the frown on the halfa's face.

"What," growled Danny, baring teeth slightly bloodied from his nose. "Was my beating not satisfying enough for you?"

Instead of replying, Vlad set Danny on his shaky feet, stabilizing the boy by holding him under his arms. Settling himself next to Danny, Vlad transformed back to his human form, the frown never leaving his face.

"Oh, now are you going to prove your superiority by beating me in human form?"

Vlad's grip tightened around Danny, digging his fingers into the boy's side, tensing the wraps around his chest Danny had forgotten about.

Oh shit.

"Care to explain, Daniel, what these are?" The man dug his fingers into the wrap again, causing Danny to wince.

"None of your business, Candy Pants." he bit out.

Vlad hummed before narrowing his eyes. "Despite what your naive young mind believes, I do care about your well being."

"You have a wonderful way of showing it."

"And because I care," Vlad continued. "I must insist that if you are to be binding, you are to do it properly and only for the maximum allotted hours for your safety."

Danny's blood ran cold as his entire body stiffened. There was no way that Vlad, after a single interaction, knew what the wraps around Danny's chest were for. "I don't know what your talking about."

"Oh please, dear boy, spare me your pathetic excuses. I know improper chest binding when I see it." Vlad had begun to guide Danny to the edge of the roof, glancing around to check for bystanders before turning the duo invisible and floating them down to the alley below before they emerged onto the sidewalk. "I might be old, but I am not oblivious."

Panic started to settle deep within Danny's core as Vlad led him down the street. The man seemed to be busy on his phone, typing away, probably doing boring rich people things Danny was too poor to care about. He didn't even think he had enough energy to phase out of Vlad's grip or even run down the street without collapsing. He could only hope that Vlad would take pity on him and leave him on a corner so he could crawl his way back home and get many three hours of sleep before starting his day over again with a new set of bruises.

To his surprise, waiting at the corner was a limo with the driver holding open the back door like in the movies. Danny glanced up at Vlad, but the man was still engrossed in his phone, barely sparing a glance at the driver as he dragged the boy into the back, signaling to the driver to start driving.

"I would say I'm surprised at the kidnapping," Danny snarked, trying not to get too comfortable in the admittedly luxurious seats while also trying to push down his rising panic. "but you've already tried to kill me on multiple occasions, so I'll just wait until we get to the torture chamber I'm sure you have hidden in your basement."

Vlad let out a sigh, still not looking away from his phone. "Relax, Daniel."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one being kidnapped." He wrapped his arms tightly against his aching chest as Vlad sent him a short glare, flashing red eyes before returning to his phone.

Seriously, what was going on?

He must have nodded off without realizing it, because when he opened his eyes, the neon sign of Fenton Works was shining through the window. Vlad, no longer on his phone, seemed to be patiently waiting for Danny to rise from his much needed slumber.

"Take a photo, it'll last longer."

Vlad only rolled his eyes before exiting the limo. He motioned for Danny to follow, tapping his foot impatiently on the pavement.

After sliding out of the back, Vlad placed a surprisingly gentle hand on his back before guiding him up the steps to the front door.

Before he could slip inside and collapse on his bed for the foreseeable future (until his alarm went of in the morning), Vlad's hand shifted to his shoulder, squeezing for a moment before turning the boy to face him. There was a glimmer of something different in the older man's eye than Danny hadn't seen before. The only word his sleep deprived brain could conjure up was sympathetic. But that couldn't be true. This was Vlad after all.

"If there ever is a time where you need anything..." The man's eyes glanced down to the hidden bindings for a moment before looking back to Danny. "specific your parents might not be aware enough to fund, I am willing to support those endeavors."

Danny narrowed his eyes. "What game are you playing at, Plasmius?"

"No games, dear boy." Vlad patted his shoulder before withdrawing his hand completely. "As I have stated, I care for your well being. Despite our differences, we are more alike than you think. I have a certain understanding that others might be unable to comprehend."

Danny's sleepy brain tried to read between the lines, but he had clearly spent too much energy just trying to stand up straight. Vlad noticed, huffing out a laugh to himself before turning back to his limo.

"Wait!"

Vlad turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"You're not gonna..." Danny licked his lips. "You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?"

That weird glimmer returned to the fruit loop's eyes. "It's not my place, Little Badger. I'd be quite the hypocrite if I went around 'exposing' your secret."

Danny frowned. "Why?"

Vlad flashed his perfect human teeth. "You'll understand soon enough. Rest well, son" He turned back around and reentered the back of the limo, riding away from a bewildered Danny.

Shaking his head, Danny entered his home, surprised at the lack of parents hovering at the door demanding why he was past curfew. Not wanting to press his luck, he rushed upstairs to his room, shutting the door quietly and ready to sleep until he was 20.

Before he could collapse into bed, however, he noticed the decently sized package waiting for him. It was in a plain black bag, no decals, no logos, nothing. Curious, Danny looked in the bag.

He gasped.

Inside was a stack of skin-colored binders. Proper binders from those websites Danny browsed every so often, unsure on how to ask his parents to buy one. Despite the risks, he had opted to just use ace bandages knowing the abundance they had due to the injuries of ghost fighting. My chest isn't that big. He would reason with himself. I'll be fine for a few hours.

It was never just a few hours, though. As long as Danny existed outside his room or the comfort of Sam or Tucker's room, the bandages were there, squeezing his chest to create the illusion that created enough serotonin to get through the day. Sure, he bound longer than he should, but he was already dead, right? What was the harm?

There was a note at the bottom of the bag, somehow written in familiar snobby fruit-loopy handwriting.

Daniel, I pray that you only use those horrid bandages for their intended purpose from now on. This bag should contain enough garments to last you a while, though with your track record, you'll require more within the year's end. Regardless, I expect you to be safe and take care of yourself properly. I am not above overshadowing you just so you don't permanently damage your ribs by being, as you so eloquently call me, a "fruit loop." I look forward to our next exchange. Vlad Masters

Danny stared at the note, rereading it again and again just to make sure it wasn't a prank and Vlad's pet ghost vultures weren't going to pop out of the bag and capture him for Vlad's gloating Packer-filled pleasure. It seemed too good to be true.

Nothing happened though. The garment stayed where they were and Danny's ghost sense didn't alert him to another threat.

The boy smiled, surprised at the tears forming in his eyes. "Thanks Vlad."

In the morning, if anyone noticed that Danny's shirt didn't seem as rumpled at his chest or that his smile seemed brighter than usual, no one commented. They let the boy go about his day, glancing out the window seemingly staring off into space, his smile never failing for a second.

[iwahajii]

That Certain Shade of Green

You, Iwaizumi and Oikawa's cat. How chaotic and romantic will that be?

You see, I'm not the type of person who likes confrontations or arguments. In fact, I do my best to avoid such situations unless necessary. Why? Because they're exhausting. I must also admit that I'm not a saint. I can run out of patience, scream in frustration, and do many others that meant visibly expressing my emotions. I cry, as in my tear ducts producing tears by processing my bodily fluids into salty, fat tears. Just that I don't cry too often, and if I do, I make sure it's worth it by waiting until I reach the last strand of my sanity before crying, or on special occasions, from grave frustration. Contrary to popular belief, I do have emotions. I'm human, not a robot or an android, much to my friends' amusement and frustration.

I also believe that I'm rational. I think things through, over and over in my head, before doing whatever it is. I do my best not to act on impulse, and I do my best to remain respectful regardless of whoever I was dealing with.

It must be a wonder why I'm saying all this... Let's just say it all boils down to me reaching my maximum boiling point and doing something unexpected it started derailing my life until all hell broke loose.

Because there's a reason why I'm currently banging on the door of my neighbor at 1 a.m. on a Saturday morning, holding a cat between my arms, with mascara and tears streaming down my face.

There's a reason why I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes, why my legs ache from standing for hours, why my head is pounding from overuse and lack of sleep.

There's a thousand more reasons I could name why I'm doing something borderline crazy, like slam my fist on someone's door in the middle of the night, but at the moment, I didn't care whether I'd get the cops called on me.

Screw this cat. Screw this neighbor. Screw this fucking life because I am so fucking done.

I must have looked fresh from the deepest pits of hell because when the door swung open, the man on the other side jumped away, eyes wide in surprise.

Opening my mouth to speak, I find the string of disrespectful words clawing at my throat two seconds ago vanishing to thin air, leaving me opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. Even my tears stopped the second I caught sight of the person on the other side, as though my brain stopped everything that's not involved with sight.

Time seemed to freeze in that moment, with the two of us locked in a stare-down, though technically, I wasn't... really looking at his eyes...

But honestly, who could blame me?

When I decided to storm up to my neighbor after seeing the crime scene in my apartment, I never really expected to find a half-naked greek god glaring down at me for interrupting his sleep. I mean, If I did, I wouldn't really do it with mascara-stained face or with clothes still from yesterday's. I could've cleaned up a little, at the very least.

Or whatever.

I balled my hands into fists to stop my train of thoughts.

Embarassed, warmth slowly crept up my cheeks as I sneaked a glance at the washboard abs seemingly gleaming even under the poor lighting from the nearest post.

"Shut up," I growled under my breath, but Mr. Greek God seemed to have heard, and he blinked himself awake, frowning at me.

"Excuse me?" he asked, confusion etched on his face as he continued to frown. When his eyes drifted down my arms, recognition seemed to finally dawn on him. "Why do you have Mr. Cuddles?" he asked, voice deep and gruff.

The snort came swift. Mr. Cuddles? Seriously?

"Oh, him?" you quipped, flashing the greek god a bright smile before giving the cat a back rub, "Mr. Cuddles, huh? Well, Mr.-" you paused, leaning to your right to glance at the nameplate, "-Iwaizumi, I would like to inform you that Mr. Cuddles has broken into my home and destroyed my apartment."

It took him ten seconds to react to my words. Ten seconds. I counted it in my head.

He froze, hand still holding the knob, before he visibly sagged and brought his hands up to wipe down his face. He groaned into his hands, the sound so deep the vibrations reverberated.

My eyes inavertedly shifted to his arms, strong and thick and sinewy as he raises one to run down his hair in visible frustration. The force of his glare was so potent that when he turned to look at me, my body flinched on impulse.

He'll kill me for waking him up was the first thought that ran through my head.

He frowned, silently watching me squirm under his heavy glare. Suddenly, he sighed, running a hand through his hair again. "Sorry," he grumbled. "It's not you I'm pissed at."

Is that why his hair's so spiky? It's short, too, so maybe it's the reason why it's sticking up. Too much running through it.

"Oh," I replied, surprised by his admission. "That's... good, I guess."

It took a good full minute of silence before any of us spoke, somehow focused on staring at anything besides the other.

"I'm just gonna go-"

"Wait here a sec-"

I stopped, motioning for him to go ahead.

"Go on," he replies, nodding his head at me.

"I-I'm just-" I began, cheeks reddening from embarassment when I stuttered. Good grief, why the hell am I stuttering? This was embarassing enough. Clearing my throat, I tried again.

"I'm gonna go. It's late," I tell him, jabbing a thumb towards my unit. As though he needed the information when he had been sleeping peacefully before you decided to disturb him, the cheeky devil in me snickered. Bowing slightly, I continued, "I'm sorry for disturbing you."

Without looking back up at him, I pivoted on my heels to go back to my apartment, but was pulled to a stop. Frozen in place, I turned to the hand on my arm, following it through a toned arm and up to a handsome face.

I knew he looked good, based from what I could make out from the dim lighting the nearby post provided, but out here, with more light illuminating his features, it truly made me wish the concrete would somehow open up and swallow me whole from sheer mortification.

Here I was, grimy, stressed and exhausted, with mascara and tears staining my face, while this man looks like he walked straight out of an Abercrombie billboard. He had dark locks of hair, spiky and cropped, a prominent nose that's a little crooked, probably broken once or twice, a strong jaw, and his eyes- they were green, but not much, more like a mix of brown and green- and they were beautiful. He is beautiful.

I could feel my breath get caught in my chest, at the same time my heart began thudding loudly. It physically hurt to look at this beautiful person, even in the poor light of a street lamp. I must've stared a little too long because he was frowning again, eyebrows scrunching together. "Y-yes?" I squeaked.

"The cat," he said, looking at my arms still crossed on my chest.

"The cat?" I repeated, following his gaze. I was met with a pair of blue eyes gleaming in the dark. I jumped, effectively pulling my arm out of his grasp. "Right! The cat!" I exclaimed, my nerves making me laugh.

"Sorry about that," I tell him as I shifted my hold on the cat, ready to pass it to his waiting arms.

All of a sudden, the cat hissed, quickly followed by a shout of pain as the cat jumped out of reach and ran straight back to my apartment. Before I could fully process what happened, Mr. Iwaizumi was hot on his tail, bolting down the hall towards my apartment.

"Wait!" I called after him, catching up as quickly as I could while he stood frozen by my doorstep.

Stopping at his side, I watched as his eyes slowly took in the state of my apartment, his expression getting dimmer and dimmer the longer he looked around.

To simply call it a mess was an understatement. From the scattered shoes, scratched sofa and pillows, ripped curtains, broken stems and shattered pots, you'd think this was a crime scene, with paw prints on soil as evidence.

You!" he barked, jolting me out of my reverie from the mess I call my apartment. I followed his line of sight, stopping at the slimy little bastard who caused this disaster.

We all froze, me, him and the cat, locked in a staredown before the cheeky demon, seemingly smirking at us from his high throne, thrust a paw at the sole survivor of his havoc, my domino cactus perched on my countertop, pushing it on its side. As the pot rolled side to side, Mr. Cuddles skipped away from view, leaving me and Mr. Iwaizumi holding our breath as the pot continued its motion.

"No!" I screamed when the pot started to teeter over the edge, slapping my hands over my eyes to save me from the heart-wrenching sight.

The sound of ceramic breaking didn't reach my ears. Instead, a loud groan echoed through the apartment, followed by a string of curses that filled the deafening silence of the night. It took me seconds before gaining the courage to sneak a peek. What I saw made my breath and my heart to stutter, feeling electrified by some current that made me feel all jittery inside.

Mr. Iwaizumi was lying down on the messy floor, hand outstretched and holding the plant safely in his hand.

Wait, the plant?

I watched as he used his free hand to push himself to a sitting position, groaning with the effort. Once seated, he took the pot with his other hand, hissing in pain as his palm is freed from the sharp thorns of the cactus.

"Shit," he cursed out loud, groaning as he flexed his right hand, assessing the damage the plant has done.

"Shit," I echoed.

-

I am back from the dungeons of life with this ancient draft I have on my notes. I know I still have works in progress but this one wanted to come out sooner than later. Thanks for stopping by!

[thesporkidentity]

I am. So tired

my cat is STILL sick and won't even SNIFF her favorite treats like fresh scrambled egg and ping pongs between needing to crawl inside my ribcage and needing nothing to touch her at all, and nothing the vet does ever seems to help her with eating or her GI issues but if she's not eating still by tomorrow morning they said call them again. the only reason she's not still vomiting and diarrhea-ing blood is that there's nothing left to come out because she's NOT EATING. and meanwhile I'm ALSO still sick and taken my maximum doses of everything for the day and I'm STILL in pain and my eyes won't focus and I can't concentrate from sentence to sentence but I still have to coordinate biopsies and surgery referrals for myself on top of my other existing chronic illnesses and honestly I thought I'd managed to beat back the suicidal ideation, I've only had a few instances at the worst times since 2014, and yet HERE WE ARE AGAIN because technically none of these problems would exist if I were just. Dead. Being dead would be so relaxing. I would like to die. And I just would like to get a fucking break. Just a single fucking break for me or the creatures I'm responsible for because I can't deal with ALL of us being sick at the same time, and literally NO ONE CAN HELP ME because she hates every other living human except me so I can't even ask anyone else to feed her while I'm laying down because she won't even TRY to eat for anyone else

[positivelybeastly]

What do you think of Juan Jose ryp art of beast?

So, I actually had to look up which X-Force/Wolverine artist this was, because I . . . honestly don't keep a massive track on who's on what duty for these books. I haven't even capped them, which is. Telling. There's like 80+ issues of comics featuring Beast that I haven't capped because I dislike the subject matter so much.

In fact, you know what, here's some pulling back of the curtain and some statistics for you - you know the little icons that I used for replies?

These are 100x100 icons cut down to size manually after being screencapped from digital copies, for maximum resolution and quality. I have QUITE a lot of them saved up, a lot of them from back when I was first RPing back in 2013-2015.

For Human Hank, I have 208.

For classic/Ape Hank, I have 622.

For feline Hank, I have 1,018.

For modern Hank, I have 457.

For Dark Beast, I have 150.

Now, this isn't EXACTLY how much I like one form over the other, it's also determined by which one I tend to RP as most, but the two definitely influence each other - most people I write with get feline Hank, he's my default for a reason, he's the Hank I know best.

BUT ANYWAY.

Juan Jose Ryp.

Honestly, it's good art. His anatomy is good, he can capture fur texture well, he is certainly drawing the Beast that Ben Percy is asking him to draw. It's just a bit of a shame that it's the single worst version of Beast ever put to page, so I automatically see it, recognise it, and go, oh, yeah, from THAT run.

Honestly, almost any other time, this would be a scenario that would have me salivating, but instead I'm capping this, uploading it, then immediately throwing it in my recycle bin. I don't want it on my computer, straight up. And it's a shame, because the art is eminently very good. The colouring is on point, it has that underwater shine, the shading is excellent, the muscle definition is lovely . . .

I do also have to point out something, though, which. Annoys me. And I hesitate to point the finger at Ryp, because I don't know that it's his fault or not, it could be just how Ben Percy is telling him to draw this, but.

That's the wrong Beast.

I'm extremely well acquainted with every one of Hank's forms, and that is way more akin to THIS

than it is to THIS

Ryp draws 90s Beast. He does not draw modern Beast. Whether this is designed to intentionally repulse the reader, who sees the design, thinks of TAS Beast from the 90s show, and then reads him being an absolutely colossal chode, or if it's just straight up artist error, I don't know. Hank has a habit of being drawn badly or incorrectly. Don't believe me?

This art is from 2012, from issue #24 of Secret Avengers. The Avengers vs. X-Men tie-in.

Beautiful 90s Beast, right?

Except, you know.

He's meant to look like this.

Like a cat.

Aren't we meant to have, like . . . editors, and shit?

But yeah, Ryp draws 90s Beast, and it's flat out wrong. Artistic interpretation, sure, but it's just straight up wrong. Again, I don't know if he's being told to do this or not, but it's something I need to bring up, because this is not something that happens to Cyclops or Wolverine, and it bugs the living fuck out of me.

But yeah, Ryp does draw a lovely Beast, even if he's inaccurate. That being said, he's not my favourite modern Beast artist by a country mile. Cassara and Gill, who drew Beast in the X-Force books, I like more.

I also have an affection for Coccolo, just because he draws a very round and lovely Beast.

Like, yeah, he's a genocidal war criminal, but fuck, he's got such a lovely belly and thick as hell thighs and I am weak.

That being said, they are not my favourite modern Beast artists either, because this is a poisoned run and I don't like to think about these pages.

Sean Izaakse draws the best modern Beast, in my opinion. Is it partly because he illustrated the last time Beast was written in character?

But I do just genuinely think he draws an effortlessly handsome and gorgeous and animated Hank.

George Perez often said he had a good time drawing Hank, even calling him the funny little monkey man, asking his 90s collaborator Kurt Busiek if he could come back so he could draw him more, and honestly, you can see it in his art, in how much love and attention and how elaborate he gets with his work on Hank. I get that same feeling from Izaakse.

[folkloriansolitairian]

so here’s the thing about the red white and royal blue movie

PSA BEFORE WE BEGIN!!! I AM NOT HATING! i did like the movie, this is not me hating on it or casey mcquinston, any of the actors, producers, writers, etc. i personally think that casey is an insanely talented writer, and the actors did a phenomenal job bringing this story to life. i am simply sharing my opinion and what i would change about it! also i like to complain it is my natural instinct. now that that’s out of the way here we go

honestly i think they could have done better and we could have gotten a lot more. sososo much was left out from the books and i was honestly just disappointed by how much they changed or straight up removed entirely. we were ROBBED of the following:

• JUNE I MISS HERRR WHERE IS SHE WAAAAH

• alex’s parents being divorced and how that effected him as a person and helped him grow into the person he is

• alex’s self discovery in his sexuality

• liam and rafael luna and how they both also helped alex in discovering his bisexuality (who the fuck is miguel) (did not like that he was already bi, his path of self discovery throughout the book is really relatable and good rep imo but idk)

• the iconic cornettos scene (i know they filmed it it was is the fucking trailers WHERE DID IT GO)

• bea’s 🍃 scandal/‘powder princess’ and how much that contributes to her development and depth as a character

• BEAS FATTY FUCKING CAT WHAT IS HIS NAME I MISS HIM

• the physical presence of the emails and how vulnerable alex and henry are with each other in them and how much they reveal about not just the 2 of them but other characters too like bea and the rest of henry’s family (they just has voiceovers which i thought was kind of weird, maybe just me)

• henry talking to the cancer patient about at at wars and that whole adorable thing

• seeing alex storming the palace to talk to henry (he just appeared?? smh anyways)

• most of alexs persepective of the emails getting leaked

• the ENTIRE fake dating arc with alex/nora and henry/june (i think? read the book a while ago don’t fully remember)

• alex’s whole dilemma and eventual decision to go to NYU law

• ZAHRA AND SHAANS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP BASICALLY!! (why weren’t they engaged)

• the historical love letters henry and alex quoted in their emails to each other

• most of the plot with the richards campaign (mostly to do with the fact that there is NO LUNA)

• overall a lot of the buildup/enemies to lovers aspect of alex and henry’s relationship

there’s probably so much more that i’m forgetting but THE POINT IS there were so many important little details from the book that was left out in the movie that i would have loved to see and it’s honestly just disappointing that we didn’t get those. it felt like they basically got rid of everything that didn’t have to do with alex and henry’s relationship which just made the movie feel very one dimensional and bland to me. the whole film just felt overall really lacking of what made me love the book so much in the first place.

now i am going to be a tad bit hateful when i say the pacing of this film is HORRENDOUS. it was so fast paced and really just did not flow at all like the he book did. a great example of this i think would be the bar scene. when i read that in the book, it felt like a really long and detailed scene, but in the movie it’s a short maybe 60 second long montage which honestly just does not do such an eventful moment from the book justice.

to be entirely honest i feel like the book would have done a lot more justice if it had gotten a tv show adaptation instead of a film. unfortunately movies have a time limit, and amazon made them cut the originally 3+ hour film down to 2 hours or less. with tv shows on the other hand, they can make multiple shorter episodes, resulting in a longer total running time, therefore giving much more time for the smaller details (listed above) that aren’t detrimental enough to the plot to keep in a limited 2 hour long maximum film, but important enough to be kept in a, for example, 8 episode long tv series, 30-45 mins per episode. it doesn’t make sense to me why it wasn’t a tv show in the first place, since it is produced by prime video, whose most popular thing rn is the summer i turned pretty, which is LITERALLY A BOOK TO TV SHOW ADAPTATION!!!!!

to put it simply, it is impossible to fit 10 hours worth of words into a 2 hour long movie, so i understand why they had to remove so many details, but as a diehard book fan it is still disappointing to not see little things like that portrayed on the big screen.

i think that the moral of the story is that books should never be made into movies and instead always be made into tv shows and we deserve the 3 hour uncut version and amazon hates gay people

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[cluelessweeb]

Dog died on friday – a vent

I was taking care of him the whole morning. He suddenly declined really sharply on Thursday and hadnt eaten for a few days by then.

I moved him and his bed into my room so I could keep an eye on him. He never so much as changed position. The only indication that he was awake was that he was blinking. He vomited a couple times even though he had nothing in his stomach. That paired with him shitting blood because he hadnt been taking his pancreatitis meds made it smell like rot before he even died.

I didn't feel comfortable touching him and I feel bad. So boney, i dont think he had any strength left. All he did move was his head. That and the stink. The weather was cooler than the rest of the week so I opened my windows. I hope the fresh air and the sound of cicadas was nice for him.

Then around 1:00 he had trouble breathing. I tried changing his position to make it easier and it helped a little but not by much. 1:16 he stopped breathing. I was on my bed, not by his side. The sounds of his labored breaths were gone. I looked up and hesitated. I don't know why. I must have been processing what it means. I got up and patted him trying to see if he'd react, I put my ear to his ribs to listen for a heartbeat or shallow breaths. I wasn't sure what I heard.

Then a bit later he snapped, like he was biting something. It happened a few times. He wasn't breathing still, I was confused. Is this a thing corpses do? Was he fighting death? Final attempts to gasp for air? It didn't seem like the last one.

It was relieving, honestly. He's been losing himself the past year. But in that final moment, I saw his feisty, stubborn personality. I mentioned it to mom during our car ride, but she didn't say anything. She has a habit of not listening. I guess I'll keep that moment to myself.

1:17 I tried to call mom but she didn't answer the phone. I texted her the news, he was still snapping but less often. Honestly the snapping went on for 15 seconds maximum.

After that I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't leave him laying there. I brought my cat lupin in to see him since he liked him, he'd groom pippin in the past even though pippin didn't like cats. Then I looked for a box to put him in. The first was too small. The second I felt wrong about putting him in. He fit in it diagonally but... it was cramped. But I didn't feel like looking more. I felt bad closing the flaps but I couldn't stand the smell.

I don't know, mom never answered my text or called me back. She just came home around 1:40 saying she gave up on waiting for the patient that she was supposed to see. It felt awkward seeing her hold his body and cry. I understood why she reacted like that, but the whole not responding to me thing sat in my mind. She acted surprised that he was gone even though I told her already.

Then she made me call places for cremation to ask about prices. I'm so tired of having to do everything.

We brought him in the box to the vet since they could send him off for cremation. Mom took a while looking at the packages. An elderly couple came in with a very whiney black cat. He didn't like being there either. Then an old lady came in with her big dog who stopped to sniff our box on tbe way to the scale. When mom finally paid for the service a vet tech came to take him. She peeked in the box and I could tell she hated the smell too. She pinched her nose a little but tried not to make any expression. She was wearing tie die blue and white crocs. I couldn't help but feel self conscious. Mom had called earlier about euthanasia so they knew he was alive earlier in the day, but the smell. I felt horrible. I didn't realize he was layinf in his own blood shit until after he died when I picked him up. Even then I couldn't have put him in the shower if I noticed before.

Even before he died I'd been feeling more fragile than usual and I'm already a fragile person. I haven't bothered talking to that discord server much since then. I cried when I thought my friend fell asleep before we could watch link click together. I've been too dependent on that person. They impact my mood so heavily it's unhealthy but I'm too ashamed to say that directly in therapy. I've been considering putting some distance between us. Hell I was put in my current bad mood because they haven't responded to my messages for four hours. Some people have lives, Cathy. Sometimes they have other friends too. Get over it.

That paragraph deviated whoopsy daisy. But I'm done. I originally meant to write down my feelings for my therapist but this might be too long. I'll give her the tldr ig.