#how could just be suddenly compl cold and compl uninterested in anybody else
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i feel SO much and i want SO much and im SO greedy and im SO full of love and SO starved for affection
and then the next minute im like, ok nevermind im fine leave me alone yall omg i need to be alone and do my shit
#i wonder if this is just a me thing or an adhd thing or another thing#i had this in my other relationship#and mind u it was shitty for many reasons#but this issue made me feel bad and guilty#how could just be suddenly compl cold and compl uninterested in anybody else#i guess ive always been like this#like ok my family is shitty but i have barely any affection for them#i always hated doing the whole social connection song and dance#birthday presents and christmas greeting cards and doing nice shit and thinking of people#which sounds legit horrible i know#and even in relationships i only did it some years when i wanted to do#but some years i couldnt be fucked#and after making all these experiences i realized that i couldnt never be a forever partnership#i will never wanna live with somebody else ever again#having a cat is like my maximum honestly#but that makes me sad occasionally#cuz it IS nice to have somebody around and just#exist with each other and talking to another person like daily#i guess my perfect social connections would be friends living in the same building#and id cuddle with some of them or something idk#i guess there are ppl just like me and its possible to find smbdy like that#but it would suck if like those phases wouldnt like align or smth?#anway i understand ppl constantly breaking up & getting back together#cuz if the relationship isnt great#the days after making up are the best until the problems start up again#le sigh#avotxt
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