#having a blast making these tbh
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another little guy for my friend gingy
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So my brain is at it again...
And this time it wanted to inform me that it would be very interesting with an amnesia fic where Ga On loses his memories but can still detect emotions related to those memories. Just imagine the possibilities.
Quick disclaimer: I'm sure there are several amnesia fics in the fandom already — maybe even one exactly like this — but I haven't read them so I'm just going to tell you all about it anyway because, to me, it's a new idea xD
Anyhow.
Imagine him waking up at the hospital, sometime during the later half of the drama (maybe he got shot instead of Soo Hyun and complications led to him getting memory loss — idk, let's handwave it for the sake of the scenario), and he's met by Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And while Ga On can't say what their names are, he can tell that he knows them. He can't access the memories but he feels the affection and the trust and accepts that they must have been a part of his life previously. And, understandably, they become the rocks he clings to because everything is new and confusing. He can still remember how to do basic things — he could probably even drive if they put him inside a car — but not who he is.
And Soo Hyun and Professor Min are going to have a rough time explaining some of it, no doubt.
Like, imagine the pain when Ga On asks where his parents are and even before Soo Hyun or Professor Min say anything, Ga On feels a rush of grief and anger. Because he doesn't remember them dying, but his body remembers the anguish of that tragedy all the same.
Some things are more humourous, though. Like: "... why is my face plastered all over the city? Am I famous?" Ga On would be so confused because the emotions he feels as he sees billboards with his own face aren't necessarily good ones. He mostly feels embarrassed and self-conscious. But he is kind of proud when he hears that he's a judge. It must mean he's smart.
Anyhow. The real fun part begins when Soo Hyun brings Ga On back to his apartment and Ga On is like: "Yeah, this is familiar." But he can also tell that, no, it's not right. It's not home. It feels cold and stale, as if he's not really living there anymore. And he doesn't understand why. Because, according to Soo Hyun, he's been doing so since he was a kid. But Ga On just shrugs his confusion off because, all things considered, he trusts Soo Hyun more than his own memory.
Also, imagine when he asks Soo Hyun if he has a girlfriend and she looks stunned, then awkward, then shy, and starts giving some mumbled response that no, he doesn't — at least not that she knows of. And Ga On has an "oh" moment because her behaviour makes it very clear that she'd want to be that girlfriend. But then he'd get confused because what he feels when he looks at her is a lot of warmth and love, sure, but not that kind of love.
Because this Ga On doesn't have years of memories to confuse him and muddle their relationship — he just feels the emotions. And, from his currently pretty objective point of view, it doesn't seem like romantic love.
He may love Yoon Soo Hyun very much, but he's not in love with her.
He doesn't tell her that, of course, because that would be rude, but he definitely makes a mental note to be careful with how he acts around her because he doesn't want to accidentally lead her on.
And it continues like that, with Ga On trying to navigate the world with nothing but emotions to go on. Which, obviously, will sometimes become very overwhelming for him, but he's stubborn so he'd still try and, of course, do his best to recover his memories. And some start to trickle in eventually, but it mostly old ones that are very deeply ingrained in his psyche.
Eventually, Professor Min decides to bring Ga On to the Supreme Court. Not to make him go back to work or anything — that would probably be disastrous considering the state Ga On is in — but to see if any of it can jog Ga On's memory. And sure, Ga On can tell that he's been in his office before and he can tell that he's met Jin Joo before — he feels both intimidated and bewildered by her — but nothing really stands out. All of it is just like ghostly silhouettes of a former life he knows he must have had but can't see clearly.
And then he meets Yo Han.
Just sees him from afar at first — Yo Han isn't even looking in Ga On's direction — but the familiarity still hits Ga On like a freight train. That is someone he knows as instinctively as he knew Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And before Ga On can really think things through, he just walks up to Yo Han because, clearly, this man is important. Ga On can tell that this man is important because his heart starts racing, his breaths go shallow, and he's suddenly overwhelmed by such a myriad of confusing and conflicting emotions he can't even sort them out. Some are negative — even outright alarming — but there's also joy and fondness and longing.
Which just makes him even more confused when Professor Min catches up and explains that this is Ga On's boss. And said boss looks at Ga On with what he first thinks is bland indifference. But the longer he stands there — and listens to Professor Min tersely explaining what they're doing there to Yo Han with half an ear — Ga On realises that, no, that's not indifference. There's something underneath it — a spark of something else he can't name but can definitely tell means something. And he desperately wants to know what that something is. He wants to scratch at it until he can peel away the layer of indifference hiding it from sight.
He needs to know.
But then, not long after that thought has crossed his mind, Ga On is reminded of the fact that this is, apparently, his boss. His male boss. And Ga On really shouldn't be feeling any of the things he's feeling. But, at the same time, he can't just ignore it. Because this is what a connection should feel like.
He might not have a girlfriend but, clearly, he has someone he's in love with.
And that's a little daunting, not to mention disorienting. Because Yo Han doesn't look approachable at all, and there is also a lot of frustration and anger mixed in with the much happier emotions when Ga On looks at Yo Han. There's just so much. And Ga On is confused because he can't really see himself falling in love with the man in front of him. Yo Han doesn't look like a very kind man.
And then, suddenly, Ga On realises that he has no idea if Yo Han knows that Ga On is in love with him. Maybe they're even a couple? It sure seems like they could be considering the attachment Ga On feels. He gets impulses to be physical in a way he hasn't with anyone else he's met thus far. He felt comfort hugging Soo Hyun, sure, but this is something else entirely. This is a need burning inside of him, urging him to draw closer to Yo Han.
He kind of wants to kiss Yo Han, right there in the corridors of the Supreme Court.
But Ga On can't be sure because Yo Han isn't exactly easy to read and aside from that spark of something when he looks at Ga On, Yo Han is impenetrable. And, if they were a couple, wouldn't Yo Han have insisted on finding Ga On earlier? Even if they have some sort of secret relationship that Soo Hyun clearly isn't aware of? Shouldn't Yo Han look more worried?
So maybe they're not together? And Ga On is just hopelessly in love with his boss? A boss who, judging by the way he looks at Ga On, might not even like Ga On.
Whichever it might be, Ga On realises he has to find out. His old memories are already trickling in, slowly but surely, but they're all of Soo Hyun and Ga On's parents and stuff that happened ages ago. And Ga On wants to know more about his life now. He wants to know more about Yo Han.
And he desperately needs to know if his feelings are reciprocated.
Even if it will definitely break his heart if he finds out that they're not.
...
SO YEAH.
It would be quite fun, wouldn't it? If I can find a way to make the story relatively short, I might just write it. Because I'm really intrigued by the concept of Ga On still having the emotions attached to the memories, but not the memories themselves. So he'll remember being both frustrated by and attracted to Yo Han. But without all the memories and years of influence from Professor Min and Soo Hyun fresh in mind, he wouldn't understand the negative emotions as much, nor put as much weight on them.
And it would be interesting to see how that would change their dynamic.
Because some of Ga On's behaviour would still be the same — he'd still be stubborn, righteous, a bit awkward etc. — but he'd also be freer. And a lot freer to act.
So that would be interesting, I think?
And now my brain will hopefully let go of this story and let me focus on other things for a while
#Amethystina Writes#Gahan#The Devil Judge#Tbh I've never written an amnesia fic#So that would be something new for me#But god knows I already have too much to write#But again#If I can make it short#Then maybe#Because the concept is so much fun#Ga On's emotions are always a blast#And just imagine him acting on them with little to no thought behind them#The world isn't ready x'D#I mean#He's not going to go out and embarrass himself#Because again#He's still GA ON#But he wouldn't be quite as rigid#Yo Han would have the time of his LIFE
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i made some orin inspired dice 🩸
#em: txt#as some of u know - i started learning and making dice a week ago#and tbh im having a blast......
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Did Brambleclaw actually disown the Three when the secret is revealed? I don't remember this happening (then again, it's been a while) but it does bug me how all three go "Poor brambleclaw :(( He was such a good dad to us and he has to learn we're not even his biokits :(((( poor guy" while simultaneously shitting on Leafpool and Squirrelflight despite them showing them more care and affection before AND after the reveal. If he does disown them, then.... WOW is the double standard real here.
In-canon? It's something you have to approximate. They don't seem to have a concept of ""disowning"" because blood relation is taken as such an insurmountable, FUNDAMENTAL fact of life. He doesn't write them out of his little kitty will and testament, but his actions ARE disowning.
It's as if the fact he is not their biological father is an automatic disowning. From the reveal onwards, he is immediately cold, distant, and the "betrayal" is mentioned often. The Three also explicitly don't blame him for his behavior, like it's just to be expected that he's Not Their Dad anymore.
Lionblaze in particular stares longingly at him several times, really missing him. And like... that's kinda what gets my goat so much
I do believe Brambleclaw is entitled to his feelings of betrayal. I believe Squilf was ultimately in the right to lie, actually, but he's still allowed to be upset and angry that she didn't trust him enough to tell him something so important. THAT SAID, YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO TREAT OTHERS POORLY.
And that's what GETS me. He isn't upset that it was all revealed in such a painful and embarassing way when this could have been avoided, or that his lover struggled with this lie for so long without him, or that he feels he's lost his children. Squilf points it out in The Last Hope-- He's so ANGRY at Squilf that he will THROW HIS FAMILY AWAY
Lionblaze seems desperate to be his son again. Hollyleaf is gone for months, and Brambleclaw is still huffing about the secret when she comes back from the dead. Squilf is fawning in the hopes it makes him talk to her again. Doesn't matter. Brambleclaw Is Upsetti Spaghetti so the narrative will never examine his role in hurting this family he apparently loved so much.
(Narrative seems to understand full well that when Squilf lies for a good reason, that doesn't invalidate the hurt Brambleclaw felt... but when Brambleclaw is upset for a good reason, it actually DOES validate what he put her and his kids through)
In BB it is explicitly a disowning. He cuts them off as his children, and they reciprocate. BB!Lionblaze does so in a ball of fury, vowing that he has ONLY a mother.
#It does start getting.... ''better'' after oots. On the disowning front#Lion seems to be fixing his relationship with him#Which... actually is something I dislike tbh#Can we pls get canon acknowledgement of the Little Pogchamp scene where he lets Ash beat his son#And downplays this to holly#Pls#Idk i just feel lion makes a better mama's boy#Really close to squilf and then like... tries to get close to Leafp too but it just. Cant click.#In this very sad but also kind of validating way#Leafp isnt his mom... she didn't raise him. But shes still his aunt. She still loves him as ferociously as she always did#The reveal changed nothing about his family. In the end.#It truly was just a reveal.#(And then he stares angrily and also forlornly at bramble)#Bramblestar is honestly a very interesting character if you choose to take him at face value#And wade through the writer favoritism#I keep coming back to him man.#Such an incredibly mundane and honest type of terrible#Always consumed by his pride and terrible lack of self esteem. Everyone wants you to be better. But you keep messing up#Your honor. I hate him. I have a picture of him in my heart shaped locket.#I am putting him in an exhibit. I am blasting him with a hose.
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Beloved, how did your blog turn into a Powerpoint slideshow on Amphoreus men?
... :')
My limited wisdom as a mortal tells me this is more of a case of the heart than the head. At least when this blog focused on Aventurine/Sunday/Ratio, I was capable of being objective. But this time, I'm actually simping simping so... yes.

#nonnie left me alone for a while and came back to be blasted in the face with gibberish about three fictional losers afsghhfjdkl#i am extremely sorry 💔#phainon in particular is already on par with sunday in terms of stuff i've written ☠️ it's been two months good heavens#this might sound like nonsense but- the characters that i hyperfixate on usually have the blue/blonde/green color scheme#(and the occasional purple) so these three are just.. perfect lol.#i'm a skeptic when it comes to romance and squint whenever matters like 'love at first sight' are brought up in relation to real humans#but the vicarious experience with fictional men do kind of make these concepts less absurd. tbh.#harmony simps#phainon#mydei#anaxa
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you know. I'm always a little nervous posting wholesoul that "seems romantic" like kissing or whatever, but actually. in my beautiful world kissing isn't romantic because nothing is inherently romantic. it's just an expression of closeness and they're very close! {some would even say their level of closeness is "unhealthy" and "incredibly concerning"}
so Basically even if i talk about them making out, they are not dating nor friends but a secret third thing. cosmically entwined <3
#as i've established whole is so so scared of making out just on a What If I Do Something Wrong primal fear level#and soul would just. hate the sensory experience. plus he has sharp teeth and doesn't want to bite whole's tongue off lol#so they wouldn't make out anyways. but my point still stands#''what do you mean don't tag as ship this is clearly romantic'' wrong. relationship anarchy blast#{though tbh i think we should have ships be open as a concept for non-platonic but not romantic pairings}#anyways. they're like if a qpr was so so doomed and also a weird religious thing and they're both too Like That to label it as a qpr anyway#weird bugs.......#tridential tirade#kaleidoscope posting
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I've been sitting here for the first few circles in Inferno thinking 'man, Dante is the pettiest man alive' but then the more I research medieval Italian history to better understand the text, I'm starting to realize, no, it isn't specific to Dante. Medieval Italians in general were the pettiest people alive. They were just banishing people from their cities left and right for personal feuds that morphed into political wars. Dante was not an outlier here he was a man of his time, he was just a little sillier with it.
#hes also so funny tbh I keep giggling#i'm genuinely having a blast w how much info there is to learn for each canto#im not kidding when I say I have around 10 A5 pages of notes per canto with most of it just being background info#bc the text is greatly improved when you know all the little details of whatever the fuck he's going on about#like some of the Christian lore is obvious enough#but then he'll mention like some random dude who wasn't even that famous it's just a guy he knows lol#but then learning about the guy adds depth to the passage bc you start to get a feel for why he's making certain decisions#looooooove things with intricate lore#dante's inferno#dante's divine comedy#the divine comedy#la divina commedia#divina comedia#dante alighieri#my post
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shoujo isagi........................... almost maybe.......................
#sora.txt#MAN.#v_v i love him i guess#i am going to sleep now what the fuck#this will be made separate parts[fics] obviously n also a lot of it is like. timeline wise inconsistently not like an actual fic usually is#think of it as... shoujo isagi bf in different days and scenarios throughout your relationship. the real fic is just the first part#but the other parts are like. delving into different days of their relationship/based on their relationship#yk? like. ig sequels to the first part#like fics derived from the first fic part ? idk if there's a name/category for this kind of fic LMFAOOO i'm still very new 2 fic labelling#so idk i hope that makes sense if not yeah idk if my tags make sense bro im yapping and i havent slept its 7am#i hope u get it tho. im happy to elaborate in a couple of hours if anyone is curiousss#i do think its mostly just shay who will read it/them KJDFSHJK LOL but yk >:3c#it's. insanely cheesy and cutesy and lovedovey tbh. like sooo mushy lovesick gf/bf first time 2gether type stuff etc#and 0 angst here lol. and lots of gf/bf sex. and very very VERYYYY self indulgent and written with my soul and heart and mind btw#i projected onto reader like fucking crazy#thats why im like . having an insane productive blast cuz i truly wrote this just for me lol#BUT YES. oui. eh oui oui#ok. sniff u later in a couple of hours stinkiesss
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WC/RW DAY 6: RIVULET
this would be bubblebounce, a lighthearted and fun drizzleclan warrior! they're the most talented swimmer and fisher in the clan, which is quite useful in their marshy territory
nobody quite knows where she came from, but standing theories among clanmates include being a former kittypet, or a cat from a far-off clan despite the mystery, bubblebounce is quite popular among their clan for their bubbly [ha] demeanor! she even has two mates-- one of the healers, flowerheart, and a certain cat with a thirst for violence....
the flowers in her cheek fur are pink rain lilies! you get a cookie from bubblebounce if you can connect the meaning of those flowers to their lore /silly
#rain world#warrior cats#warriors x rainworld#wc x rw art month#rw rivulet#rivulet rw#i think this is my favorite design so far tbh#i LOVE bubblebounce so much#also yes i am going to make all the ships in my regular au canon to this one. lemonade and bathbomb blast#very excited to design arti hehehe i already have a very vivid idea for her#and yes i will draw bubble giving you a cookie if you correctly tell me in asks what the lilies mean in regards to my rivulet
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「僕は君と一緒に 今日の安寧が明日も続く世界を創るのだ…」 「A world where peace lasts forever…」
Drawn for the megaten ワンドロ/60min on 11/28. 💙twitter 💙misskey
#shin megami tensei#megaten#shin megami tensei iv#smtiv#jonathan smtiv#I had to look up what he says in ENG because I actually went through this game in JP instead LOL... I love Hiroshi Kamiya's voice for Jona!#I'm so happy the angel boy homie was FINALLY a topic for the megaten wandoro/60min after so long!!! yipee!!! (mario voice) wahoo!!!#the “nostalgic + faded photo vibe” like that early 2010s inst*gr*m filter aesthetic was absolutely intentional LOL#initially I had wanted to make the background Blasted Tokyo to reflect the dreamscape sequence in the beginning of SMT4...#but then I thought he would look nicer against fluffy clouds versus a flat desert landscape full of orange tbh LOL#maybe that'll be an idea for next time!!!#I wonder if anyone out there actually reads the tags/commentary on my posts LOL...if so: you're a trooper + I hope you have an amazing day!
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I kept noticing Shion downplay Haru's work related skills and compliment his domestic skills and I was like "damn this guy wants a malewife so bad" and then I entered Shion's apartment and went "Ohhhhhh..... damn this guy NEEDS a malewife SO bad"
#isnt there literally a spinoff game on the creator's Booth page where haru makes tatsunami clean up 😭#tbh give me one full day and let me blast some music ill have that whole place spotless#and im no 5 star chef either man but at least I know what preheating an oven is#real talk though#I went on a huge long ramble on discord about some deeper analysis stuff related to shion's apartment and inabiity to cook#as well as haru's skills versus weaknesses and how they play into the game's commentary on work culture#maybe ill post that later im just being silly rn#saihate station#saihate eki#shion tatsunami#tatsunami shion#haru akinashi#akinashi haru
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I feel like Karkat Vs. The Evil Gods is a spiritual successor to Saviors of the Universe even tho it was never fully complete. I have been a fan of your world building since then and I am SOOOO here for it!! I love that we really do seem to have everyone and I can't wait to finish it and then read it all again!
Oh my god same brain cell, I genuinely was just in the car yesterday listening to a song I used to imagine a SoTW music video to, musing like "man I wonder how much of my old plot could be reused" haha. "Spiritual successor" is so true actually. Saviors was SO the project of a teenager/college student. The Saviors team were being brought into the larger world by their ancestors directly, learning to use their powers, leaving their overbearing parental figures and finding new mentors, discovering themselves. VERY college. Whereas KVvTEG takes a lot of the same ideas and vibe--superhero universe, interpersonal drama underlying grander plot, some of the humanstuck designs being similar--but their age and history together is a huge part of the premise itself! Written by a grown-up with a job, lmao.
...I am very entertained by the thought of the crossover tho. Reparenting your much more explicitly superpowered younger self... Just don't let the Gamzees meet. 😬😬 Eesh.
#ask time!#KVvTEG#GOD what a blast from the past. It's been eighty years...... I know it sounds fake but is2g i was literally just thinking about this#I think the closest I could get to repurposing is back-telling the story of how the Skaia Network took notice of Karkat's vigilante group#which like dgmw I have been idly thinking about lmao. The 500 comic book issues of it all... so many backstories would make fun fics#that would take place shortly after Gamzee went missing and long before he came back so#it would be a pretty grim time emotionally if it was from Karkat's POV#but it would hit I think the MOST beats similar to the original plot I had in mind for Saviors? esp featuring Meenah as their villain#Saviors!Gamzee was already struggling with the GHB's shitty life philosophy RE: violence and power and safety and strength#the last thing he needs is to meet an older version of himself who ''''''lost'''''' to the Scratch and did in fact get tortured for it#and tbh the last thing recovery!Gamzee needs is a fresh-faced kid with the power to reach into his head and go sorting around in there#bringing his own flashes of his whole Dad Situation with him. like hey you thought neglectful dad sucked ass. try this guy he IS worse.#does a new fresh flavor of ''headfucker rattles around in your skull full of disdain and paternalistic entitlement'' sound like a good time
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OH FUCK I GOTTA START PUTTING TOGETHER THIS YEAR'S OCTOBER MOVIE WATCH LIST
#ragsycon exclusive#the only way i ever watch movies is by making myself a checklist#last year i watched a bunch of creature horror movies and i had a blast#saw so many good ones. I'd love to see more bad ones tbh#this year I think I'm gonna go more into horror staples#would you believe that I've never seen friday the 13th or saw#i also want to watch the exorcist but i cannot have that movie playing in my house or my roommate will never come home again
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.
#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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bad astrology by flower face
< -
#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#ITS DONE OMG ITS FINISHED#what do I do now. with my life (ranking)#also ive decided i am gonna do literary analysis. on all of em#literally i have NO idea if anyone cares. well. i do bc I care and tbh that's enough to me#<- guys look im living so healthy#anyways this was a blast#hope somebody has at least discovered flower face trhu me bc its one of my fav artists#mitos incredible life#mine art tag#also im sorry the like long scenes 3 and 4 arent on beat :/ i love that song but it has so long instrumental stuff and idk what to do there#ALSO!! i had it all planned out like at least half in my docs (like always)#and then in the middle i was like 'omg what if I only show jackie-after-the-argument and shauna-after-jackies-dead'#(excluding the argument and the flashbacks (they used to hear us thru the floor))#which was. restricting. very much#also meaning was changed (originally wanted jackie to have the line 'idc if ure not made for me' but the only scene i could think of was th#ure hungry for and that was the next scene already so.)#anyways this was originally gonna be lottienat before i started with The Shark In Your Water#bc I thiught it fit them SO well. (still do) but now I like have to get away from the jackieshauna thought and then ill do the lottienat#probably#omg also I want everyone (who has read this far. whoever would do that) to know i was running on like 25 screen#recordings and 3 jackieshauna scene packs form yt#that's why. I dknt have that many clips alright im not using like 10 scenes over n over on purpose#gotta go but im gonna make a wrap post thingy once im back slay#no actually I get like average 7 notes (<- that's a lie Idk bc I didnt count) but im proud of myself this is amazing#ive wanted to do smth similiar alr#but it was some album by alec benjamin and a different thing for every song (like a poem‚ a painting or a play)#but I lost motivation this is the first thing that i actually pulled though all the way I think#jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water
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chat is not wanting to put on blast comments wanting doubles to die really ableist
#Tbh might say that im selective sharing because i dont want to be associated with these people anymore#Youre putting these mental breakdowns on blast#Something like this should be shared in a small space and not for everyone to see#Its damaging#Its damaging to everyone#The fact that i have a popular f/o makes me wonder if theres someone out there eho wants me dead!!!#Why are we propping this up!!!#Idc anymore im tagging this#Signed someone with shitty mental health#self ship#self shipping#selfship#selfshipping#f/o
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