#having Thoughts that maybe i shouldnt be having
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hmm
#having Thoughts that maybe i shouldnt be having#so i have a friend who's handsome hot nice kind sweet funny etc he's like the whole package#yesterday one of our friends told him i didnt have his contact saved on my phone and we (jokingly) made a whole thing out of it#so he took the convo from our gc to our private messages to let me know he had mine saved WITH A SUNFLOWER EMOJI NEXT TO MY NAME#bc ATTENTION according to him i am little flower and im radiant like the sun so = sunflower#like 🥹🥹🥹🥹❓❓❓❓#n then he told me i didnt have to change my pfp bc i alr looked pretty in it then he called me his love and today#we're all going to a party our friends' cheerleading squad is hosting right and he won't go bc he'll be busy that day#i was moping in the gc bc i wanted the promotional prices (im the only one who doesnt go to their uni n non student prices r higher) and#they weren't available anymore so he messaged me to tell me he'd help me go?? i said how he said he'd pay me the difference i was like 💀#so i said okay it's only like 10 bucks and he sent me 20 like hello? i know this doesnt sound like much but we're all broke college students#so like? why did he do it#he said if he wasn't able to go he'd like to at least help me go then sent me extra w a cute little message telling me to enjoy the party#and have fun and calling me a sweet pet name now im like . Confused#bottom line is idk if he's flirting and i probably won't bc a) he's already said he doesnt know to make a move on pretty girls and b) here's#the catch: we have a mutual friend who confessed to me like 3? months ago. i turned her down for a number of reasons n i also knew they had#hooked up before so when i said no ig they started hooking up/going out again? and i wasnt fully aware of that until like. last month#and prior to that i hit on him at a party at our friend's house and all he did was stand there kinda speechless 💀#so i took it as a no n moved on but now idk if its bc like. he was alr w her or he just got shy or if he actually just didnt want it at all#and im just imagining things. and circling back to it: i guess i wont find out bc 1) he won't do anything 2) idk whats the current status of#their relationship (ig over bc they weren't all over e/o at our last function) and 3) even if theyre not together anymore i absolutely would#not try anything behind our friend's back or w/o her knowledge or consent bc they did have something doesnt rly matter what it was and#shes still my friend above all so i gotta be mindful of her feelings for me AND for him and abt us or whatever#so yea thats something thats been on my mind since yesterday#im not like. suffering over it btw its just something on my mind that i wanted to share#i probably wont even do anything about it and then forget abt it next week lol#mari.txt#but also feel free to like comment on this or something i love it when yall r nosey lmfao
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How would you redesign Headmaster Magneto? Just out pf curiousity because while he served it didn’t feel like… Erik.
i have to keep it 100 i have no idea without just. rerunning his original design but with a palette swap LOL but we try around here
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#CAUSE LIIIKEE i want to keep SOMEE elements of the headmaster look obviously#i like its design intent. or how i see its design anyway idfk .... idk what im sayin im sleepy#just gotta. throw a few more things on there .... maybe... again i dont know 😔#the bigass M just makes me think of megaman gigamix i cant even lie#having/wanting to keep this as a one piece/leotard with that big ass m is probablyl whats stumping me if im so tbh#for some reason the lack of 'underwear' and helmet really is doing a lot for it Not feeling like magneto#the helmet i get Thats His Symbol ATP but the underwear ..... girl idk Strong Man or something like that#its just awkward because headmaster magneto is Supposed to be more tame or . 'domesticated' i guess vjALKE#not less powerful but he shouldnt be as intimidating/outwardly powerful if. that makes sense???#the first thought seeing him shouldnt be 'hes going to stomp me to death' it should be. Not That LKVJAEKj#BUT AT LEAAASSST in the back of the mind being likek 'he could probably stomp me to death'#SOME power but not to a threatening degree idfk what im saying my TUMMY IS RUMBLIGN AGAIN#what did i eat todasy. i ate like five hot pockets today thats what i ate. and some grapes#idk im tired. maybe ill try this again down the line#anyway enjoy if you can. saturday is upon us which means i can DOODLE AGAIN
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#jean#jean gunnhildr#genshin impact#YOU CAN TRY TO REASSEMBLE THE PIECES BUT THEY WILL NEVER FIT THE SAME WAY. AND MAYBE THEY SHOULDNT.#I DONT KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE AT ALL I’M JUST GOING INSANE THINKING ABOUT THEM#GRIPPING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE. HEY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT KAEYA JEAN AND DILUC BC I SURE DO.#also not blaming diluc for the leaving btw I feel like it was necessary for him#it’s just emphasized bc of how it contributed to the change in their dynamic#I can’t always put it into words right but I have a lot of thoughts about these three.#my brain is going GSVDKDBCJHDEJDHSBDVDHWBDNHSJSBSJDGSHSBSHSB rn#also also in the ‘duties to Mond’ bit I’m also not downplaying kaeyas indecision abt choosing mondstadt/Khaenri’ah#I don’t think he’s chosen & I think he has genuine love for but also feels indebted to both places#I fully reject the ‘oh kaeyas chosen Mond fuck Khaenri’ah’ takes i hate them it’s so much more complicated than that!!#he can care about both places!!!#anyways just wanted to clear that up since I didn’t really elaborate & don’t want it to be taken like that
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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My two greatest character flaws are that I'm cranky and lazy.
My third greatest character flaw is the acute lack of compassion for people who smuggle exotic animals (like a serval) into a country where they are illegal (like norway) because keeping one as a pet is 'their dream' and then throw a pity party when said animal is seized and at risk of euthanasia. I'm sorry pal but you did that.
#maybe your ~dream~ to have an animal shouldnt outweigh the health and safety of that animal#just a thought#i feel mostly the same abt people who import illegal dog breeds. regardless of whether i think the law is unfounded#or how hard it is to actually accurately manage#there is no way you went through the hassle of importing an apbt to norway without finding out its a banned breed. that is a choice you mad#so if you had to smuggle a baby african feline. across the goddamn border. only for the authorities to go#'hey. thats not allowed'#then those are the consequences of your actions and not a whole lot else#you can disagree with the rules in the world you live in but that doesnt make you exempt from them#sorry for the animal! the owner not so much.
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[punk hazard/dressrosa arc spoiler heavy lawlu rambling]
recently I saw a video that was comparing luffy to naruto and the fact that luffy is not a hero when compared to naruto because naruto saved people even when the people that needed saving refused it (ie uchiha sasuke) but luffy? luffy saved countries on his selfish whim and all the other people he saved, he waited until they asked for it. he waited nami to ask for his help and robin to tell him she wanted to live.
except you know who? trafalgar law.
we could tell that law was planning on a suicide mission when he went to punk hazard on his own. he sent off his crew to zou and was wandering alone to find out more about the SAD factories and knew he risk angering doflamingo by destroying it. during that time, he saw an opportunity, formed that alliance with the strawhat and marched on to dressrosa.
retrospectively looking at it, there was no doubt that he was using the strawhat crew. he was putting them all in an unprecedented amount of danger by stepping on doflamingo's turf, the risk he wasn’t willing to put on his own crew that he sent away much earlier.
law definitely felt guilty over it.
at least for a little bit, when law watched luffy almost got his ass handed to him by doflamingo when law was helplessly restrained on the flower hill at the new king’s plateau and was making a fuss for the others to let him free despite his heavy injury until robin who could see through law’s intention and action had to say it: “luffy is here because of his own free will.”
after the deal at greenbit fell through and law found out doflamingo had been manipulating the press, he tried to break the alliance. threatened to kill luffy once luffy uncuffed him. but luffy just shut him up and lugged him all over the place like a sack of flour over his tiny shoulder and fought doflamingo till the end.
one could argue that luffy did that because rebecca asked him to, but revenge against doflamingo was also one of the things that occupied law’s the most since he lost cora-san. he just didn’t directly ask luffy to beat the shit out of doflamingo on his behalf. yet luffy did it anyway.
so back to the whole naruto vs luffy comparison at the beginning of this post? at least there’s one exception where luffy helped someone against his will and acted like a goddamn hero. and it is towards the damsel in distress that is trafalgar d water law.
#my gosh this rambling almost go off tangent because i cant round up my own thoughts#i feel so normal about them :)#i wanted to include manga screenshots to go with the rambling but it'll require me to go through the manga and i simply do not have the tim#i shouldnt even be here rambling about lawlu in the first place i have a garda vetting form to fill up and get packing bc im moving soon#am i putting lawlu up there against the great sasunaru? maybe#lol#lawlu#lulaw#trafalgar law#monkey d luffy#one piece#chromie writes#chrmz.txt
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tumblr user magowolor posts magolor art (CHEERING AND CLAPPIN) yup yuup mhm thats right
#once he claws his way ouy of hell after definantly learning his lesson(not true) He and i will have a summer wedding#lol idk. maybe he did learn smthn but not necessarily the lesson he should have#like to him it was probably just ok MAYBE he shouldnt try n bite off more than he can chew n get carried away#and then he finds some other way to garner attention and make his impression on othars#esp w kirby hes reeely trying to overcompensate for his past misdeeds like hehe yah im suuuuuperr nice now trust ^-^#but maybe just MAYBE theres a slight shift were hes like ok well what if i didnt want to be good just to be convincing#only Bc his past motivation and actions were all built off one lie after another. he cant even tell if these thoughts are genuine#sooo maybe his curiosity gets th better of him and he figures the only way to find out and also maybe possibly b able to form actual bonds#this time around is by commiting to actually intentionally being good and stuff#like hes not suddenly gonna try an be a complete goody two shoes and be perfect bc hes still a mischevious guy yknow but uhm. yeah. yknow#^^^oh BROTHER we got a real yapper over here -_-#kirby#magolor#krtdldx#myart
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can you remember being born? were you born at all
#my art#kuron vld#vld kuron#vld#this is sorta a companiom piece to the haggar one i posted recently#also. just now realising the perfect timing of posting that drawing on MOTHERS DAY of all possible days#i swear i didnt plan that. didnt even cross ny mind?? but its neat ig#this drawing is pretty simple but i really like how it turned out!!!#it was meant to evoke those infographics of human fetus development#its wrong. there should be middle stages between a fetus and a fully grown adult man. but theres nothing there.#like. he had no childhood or anything. he just woke up as a full ass guy. theres no middle point between a mindless clump of cells and him.#no infant. no child. no teenager. just kuron.#this is wrong and unnatural and it shouldnt have happened but it did#the part of him that looks the most alive is the bloody arm. his life depends on it. hes nothing without it.#sigh. i have so much to say abt this piece and i feel like its pretty barebones and simple tbh#but i still cant put into words what i mean!!!!! i am trying and failing!!! argghhhhhhhhg. whateverr#i have THOUGHTS about this but a weird ramble is all youre gonna get folks. maybe one day il write a small coherent analysis of this thing#he will never escape haggar. he was not meant to. hes asleep and clueless and hell never wake up#he wont ever become more than what was planned for him. and he doesnt even know#blood#gore#i guess. not really gore. more like viscera and flesh?#kuronposting
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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some destiny (zelda comic) lore
i really have absolutely no problem with AUs, but in the case of my zelda comic i kinda dont like it being called that bc i made it specifically around the idea of offering an origin story to .. everything really that could be true and put the entire series in an entirely different light
like most things in the series around the creation of the world and the godesses etc are told to us, and i always ask questions when sth is just told to you especially in this black and white kind of way
idk if i ever talked about it, probably not bc its somewhat of a big reveal in the comic (though its at the very end) and given how slow i am thats years away so:
the three gods (gods as a neutral term here) exists outside the physical realm in a sort of void like darkness with an endless completely calm ocean they created the world we know as hyrules world, in fact they created two more, each of them filled with life, at some point choosing a mortal to kill and make into a deity as their right hand since the gods cant go into these worlds themselves
they want to enact the plan we see in skyward sword, they want a monster to invade the land, their chosen deity to seal it, die and be reincarnated and start the whole zelda cycle as we know it; why?maybe purely as entertainment, which is why each cycle is so widely different, they are gods and treating life and worlds like their little toys feels kinda right- and they really dont like when their toys act against them, thats not what toys are supposed to do after all
so, courage as i like to call them, was a deity they created using a mortal, but they failed to even make their mortals believe in them, instead they were seen as the monster, the gods lost their patience and drowned their world leaving only courage to survive, while they failed their orders and were hated, they still cared about their world, seeing it slowly drown and abandoned by the gods made them filled with despair, in an outburst they destroy the spring of the gods (an ancient spring that is the first to exist in a world when its created) and it opens up a gate into the realm of the gods, that dark calm ocean of nothing- they go into it and wander into the closest source of light and it brings them into demise's world
demise is the deity of his world, and when courage arrives there they start to attack it, filled with desperation and rage that their world was drowned while this one thrived- demise hasnt failed the gods yet, and he fights and seals away courage with easy, but it lets him doubt the gods words, courage was supposed to be some evil monster, yet they were similar to him and he defeated them so easily, why would he chose to die and be reincarnated as a mortal? he wanted to stay a deity and protect his world forever- he started to stall for time, halting the building of the temples for the hero in the future, and at some point courage broke out of its seal, nothing of it was like before it was a strange and now truly, a monster, and demise killed it to protect his lands, thus making the gods prophecy unable to be furfilled and so the gods abandon his world too, they let mortals turn against him as his world slowly dries out, until there is nothing left alive but him and ghirahim, trying to drive him to madness so he becomes the monster for the the next world in the row, but fail just barely- he too destroys the ancient spring and discovers the gate it creates
so demise travels to hylias world, and hylia, hesitates to seal him right away bc she notices he is not a mindless monster like she was told, despite the gods effort to raise her in isolation and make her into the perfect vassal, hylias curiousity is too much, so she lets demise live, over and over as they battle- which is the story of the comic, at the end they fall in love and uncover the gods plans, that demise was in the same position as hylia is, and he killed a deity jsut like them, that the reincarnation thing might be a lie to get rid of the biggest threat to the gods (the deities needed to be gotten rid of before they realized anything) and replace it with a more controllable mortal once the set up for the play was done, this too has been a cycle in the end the gods make sure this time it ends up how they want, more or less (im leaving out the details for now) and demise gets sealed and hylia dies, both of them taken by the gods but as both resisted them it is not perfect, demise still did not turn into the monster they needed so what you fight in skyward sword is an apparition of him, not him truly, and ghirahim knew he would never be himself again but his desperation and devotion made him try anyway only to end up playing right into the gods hands
and that is how the series started, a scheme of the gods to create their little play, inventing new little adversaries and eviil beings but short lived so easily to reinvent over and over, but its all based on lies, zelda isnt special, she was jsut a mortal that happened to be chosen by the gods to take the role she has now, shes no reincarnation of hylia, none of the things they tell you about hylia are true, its the gods lying to you, and the trio is stuck in this cycle not realizing they are merely being played with
(being sealed or dying as a deity send you to the realms of the gods, where they pin them down on a pillar like bugs (unconcious) and occasional borrow their magic for some tricks and schemes to play with in the world of hyrule, the deities are still there, and will be until the gods decide to kill them fully- and at the end of destiny as demise is take by them, in the last few moments before he is hung up like a trophy he not only sees that courage, who he thought he had fully killed, was already there, but in the darkness were countless remains of abandoned deities hanging dead on pillars, how many times have the gods done this before?)
(possibly not as interesting as i hope it is, but this is what im going for, and it only really works if the rest of the series exists just the same, otherwise the whole point of putting everything in this context would become kinda meaningless? at least thats how i feel about it so i dont like calling it an AU, but im not mad about it bc i guess if you take all the lore at face value it is completely different and doesnt work with canon at all? idk )
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#zelda comic lore#? idk what to tag it as tbh#maybe i shouldnt have written this#i worry it might be underwhelming and take away what made the story interesting in the first place#but knowing how slow i am .... does it even matter?#its right at the end and getting to chapter 2 alone took me this long#maybe no one will remember anyway#well ... this was hours spent writing this#sorry for the spam the last ask just reminded me of this and i thought#who knows when i will get to reveal this so might as well do it now at least maybe ill know if its decent or not gndrjkgnkdjnkd#if anyone reads through this anyway ngjkdgnvkjdfnk#...why is it always so long#it doesnt feel like its this long when i think about it and i left out alot of details too
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going to bed but before i do. i'm trying to find a quote that was smth along the lines of "some pokemon having hearts shut up so tight even n cannot understand them", but i dont remember who said that if its even a thing at all. i'm just trying to factcheck for smth i'm writing
#clai speaks#anthea concordia and the shadow triad didnt say what i'm thinking of so idk if i just? imagined it?#AUGH i thought maybe rood was the one who said it but he isnt EITHER. DID I JUST MAKE THIS UP#i need to go to bedddd i have to wake up at like 4ammm i shouldnt be writing fanfic anyway. god#the fic works without that quote but like i can add a little Flavor if its true
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unmedicated adhd will have you scrolling through the same posts on your dash for the third time, asking yourself How Do I Leave the House, hoping the answer somehow appears in the posts
#guys. how do you leave the house xdddd asking for a friend#what am i waiting for. why am i still here writing this fucking post instead of just getting up. and going#i need to get some groceries 😭#god this sounds so stupid I WISH I WAS JOKING#i love a brain that works.#btw i did 5/7 tasks#so success!!#now im hungry but GUESS WHAT.#ughhhh#niki.rambles#okay. heres the deal. i post this and IMMEDIATELY get up.#i need this on the record because otherwise we'll just pretend i didnt say that#okay lets go#this is therapy. self therapy or whatever#oh my god i need to shut up#IM JUST FULLY LAUGHING AT THIS POINT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME JKGJKJKHJ#hovering over the post button overthinking like hmm shouldnt i add something. do i have more to say maybe i have more to say. maybe i shoul#ramble some more. maybe theres more thoughts- GIRL JUST STOP. STOP AND GO JFC#great glimpse into my stream of consciousness#executive dysfunction at its finest#i need to launch myself into the sun
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I once saw in a comments section of a KISS video(Can't remember what one)and someone said that Gene's hair looks like black cotton candy. I know they probably meant that as an insult but ngl he do be looking hella chewy sometimes
#im not victimblaming but if you dont wanna be chewed on by me maybe you shouldnt be so chewable and teeth accessible#have you ever thought about that gene simmons#kiss#kiss band#gene simmons#kissblr#pookie bear#celebrity crush#god i want him so bad#also i got this new idea for a monsterfucker KISS fic where Gene is like this candy monster thing#i got inspired while looking at monsterfucking blogs#you dont really see many candy monsters in media(At least from what ive witnessed)#mmm candy
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