#haven't seen this around much but maybe that's just bc im not in too many mp100 circles

[quirkle2]

hi. oumple thoughts under the cut it's just three screenshots of me rambling but it's got suicide themes so. stay safe

[cosmicpoutine]

leaving a lil rant here :]

I love Tim and his ships sm. Me personally, I only really ship TimKon. Those two are perfect for eachother and have so much clear queer coding that it’s crazy, and they have dialogue that’s just. gay shaped.

I also get TimBart, I don’t ship it romantically but I get why people do!! Tim and Bart are close as well, and the balance they get between ‘depressed tired wet cat’ and ‘living breathing embodiment of adhd’ is great.

I also get TimBartKon, they’re a trio. They are always a trio, so many people like to bring up how TimKon has so much coding and one of the big examples they use is when Tim tried to clone Kon. You know who else he tried to clone? Bart.

The only Tim ship I don’t get is TimBern, or any ship involving those two. When Bernard first appears, he’s Tim’s bully. He actively makes fun of tim and puts him down and then that character is forgotten about until Tim comes out as bi, then they just rework his character and go “haha guys this is his boyfriend not bully ygs are crazy” and just forget about all the bad stuff Bernard did? Reworking a character is great and all but, it just feels a bit weird and out of place for me. There’s always going to be that certain toxicity for TimBern, at least for me.

homie... bully??? im flabbergasted- im speechless- im jason todd (dead)

okay, im gonna start off by saying you have all the right to not ship them, and im not here to defend timbern as a ship. im here to defend BERNARD DOWD.

first thing bernard does is give tim advice about teachers, and he clearly says they're gonna be good friends.

if bernard was a bully, tim wouldn't hang around him so much. besides, i hate it when people place tim as a helpless little boy who would get bullied. he has put himself in situations where he looks weak on purpose to keep his identity safe, but he's not a victim at all. tim is a social butterfly because he's really good at masking and reading people.

not to mention, both bernard and darla push tim a lot because they're trying to get him to open up and be closer to them, but he keeps pushing them away. tim is a professional liar.

and when tim has to quit robin and start hanging out with normal people, he invites bernard over.

and bernard is acting relatively normal, and he wants to play video games and talk about how hot tim's stepmom is.

bernard is a normal teenager who has no idea one of his friends is the hero he's so obsessed with. he even shows concern for robin dying and makes up an entire conspiracy theory about batman havin a robin orphanage. you can tell he's afraid of robin being gone for real because at this point they haven't seen robin in months bc tim retired.

i dont know what about all of these interactions gave you the vibe that he's a bully because all i see is a normal teenager teasing his friends and being jealous tim gets more bitches.

im not saying that bernard was never mean or weird around tim, but he definitely wasn't actively bullying tim.

bernard is obnoxious and cocky, yes. but thats just because they wrote him as a real person. he's the school's chameleon, maybe even a little bit of a loser, too. he knows everyone but keeps a safe distance so that he doesn't get pushed into a box. im not sure if, at this point, he was already in a cult or being indoctrinated, but when we see his parents and the dowd home in tim drake: robin that just doesn't look right.

also homie talk about "forgetting all the bad things bernard did" (which in my opinion is none but okay lets follow that logic) everyone forget about all the bad things batman did to tim, he was not a kind and loving mentor, he was cruel to both tim and steph. we forget that batman was kind of an asshole to damien in the beginning. all those things are forgotten for the sake of the batfam.

in conclusion: we're just so used to the idea that superheroes can only ever form strong friendship bonds by having near death experiences together that we forget that the secret identifies exist and that the people who know them by their legal name also means a lot to them. after all, these people are the reason why they're heroes.

[onismdaydream]

HII!!! for the past like two days I have been scouring your account for your yuuji content.. because it's SOOO GOOD. And I can NEVER find yuuji fics! ><!

I just love how you write, and it's kept me thirst for him quenched but I just- HAVE to get this out there. I guess it's a writing request..

I have this one specific thirst that just. UGHHH. Basically, I loveee yuuji fics, and it's common knowledge that he has sukuna inside of him. (Lol) sukuna, who can basically manifest as a mouth. DO YOU SEEE WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS?? there is just so much potential. And we already know the the mouth can manifest literally anywhere! His cheek, his.. HAND.

UGHHHH

Like just imagine like- being with yuuji, and barely getting into the 'intimate' parts of your relationship. And I mean barely (once or twice), and at first sukuna is annoyed after, bc like- OF COURSE HE IS! How dare yuji, a little brat, do such things when he KNOWS he can see everything! Nobody wants to see some new inexperienced couples fucking? (Me) nobody!

But.. if you can't stop them, join them.. right?

So, maybe he tries to convince yuji to let him have some fun with you. Though yuji immediately says no, that's totally weird!

...

Won't stop sukuna though. So next time you guys start to have fun.. worked up from a mission, unable to keep your hands from eachother.. which lead to yuji having two of his fingers knuckle deep inside of you, pumping in and out, hitting that spot that makes you see STARS.. when all of a sudden, you feel a tounge lap at your clit! 🥺🤭 whaatttt!!

It catches you so off guard, it takes a minute for you to register what's going on, but when you do.. you wrap your hand around yujis wrist, tugging him away.

"Whats wrong?"

!!! How do you even begin to explain? There's SO many things wrong. Starting with the fact that SUKUNA, the person who literally hates both your guts, literally tried to eat you out.. to the fact that, you liked it.. it felt good!

"I think.. I don't.. basically-"

What do you say? What CAN you say? What if when you tell him, he stops? Ughh this is just so- UGH!

"Whats wrong brat? Use your words."

Followed by a dark chuckle, like he's laughing at you. Coming right from yujis cheek. GOD he is so annoying.

"Sorry, brats, just had to have a taste.."

OKAY ANYWAY. This is getting too long BUT it would probably be followed by a small little argument between yuji and sukuna, but thankfully sukuna convinces yuji.. probably by saying that he could either use his mouth, OR take over yujis body and have his way with you ♡🤭 and OBVI yuji chooses the first one bc he doesn't want you to get hurt..

at first he acts like he doesn't like it, but that facade doesn't last long, you hoth love all the new opportunities that come with this.. i mean like, youre both new to all this so maybe when he isnt sucking on your clit, he could talk you both through it teaching yall sime jew tricks along the way 🥰♡

you see what I'm saying, right?

Finish it, if you want, I would LOVE to see your take on this, but I just HAD to get this out there, otherwise I would go crazy..

But anyway, how was ur day? 🥰🎀

-your horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg??? first of all, thank you!! you're so sweet and this literally made me so happy when i saw it this morning !! i'm sorry i didn't respond earlier, i've had a kinda shitty work schedule + being a little sick so i haven't had much time here <3

UGHH I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!! i've seen similar concepts (sukuna joining/forcing) and it's always so HOT!! i especially love the idea of sukuna licking at your clit and yuji not even realizing... like he's so distracted by the pretty faces and beautiful sounds you're making that he doesn't feel the way his palm morphs or just how much wetter it gets from sukuna's spit..... it's just sooooo good!!

sukuna makes a deal that if he's allowed to fuck you the way he wants, then he'll tell yuji what to do ("the proper way to fuck a woman") and yuji feels a little guilty for considering it but he really really wants to treat you the way you deserve and he has his own selfish reasons of wanting to feel you come around his cock. and maybe it doesn't take much convincing because sukuna's mouth is back on you and making you see stars that you both agree lol

and i don't mind at all if you ever wanna dump your ideas here <3 i think we all need a space to put our thoughts before they make us go crazy! that was what i did before i started this blog :)

[fraternum-momentum]

This is so so stupid but I got very happy when I read in your strawpage you are from 2003 too, I've lurking around seeing your art ever since DOL caught my eye and you're one of my favourite artists so having that bit in common is cool! I also love your DOL designs, especially Kylar's and Whitney's but the fave gotta be your PC she's so pretty! Seeing your fanarts keeps tempting me into posting dol art of my own so if I ever draw dol I'll draw our wet cat (Kylar) together >:)

Also if you haven't played Fields of Mistria or Homicipher I definitely recommend them! The first one is similar to Stardew Valley in the sense you're a farmer, you can decorate your house and romance any of the bachelors/bachelorettes but this one is more fantasy-like and the artstyle reminds me of 80s anime and Sailor Moon. The second came out recently and I haven't played it yet but I saw the trailer and some fanarts; you wake up in a terrifying unknown world where you have to survive and the romance options are very creepy men, one of the appeals of this one is trying to learn the world's language, it looks fun

Wish you a nice weekend! PS: Is it ok to follow you if I like South Park? I know DOL is darker when it comes to sexual stuff but just in case I prefer to ask boundaries

HELL YEAA '03 BABIESS 🤝🤝 ngl that dol era was probably peak bc i was fucking around with a lot of my mooties and just interacting with the fandom in general, it was so funnnn :3 and ky and whit r probably the most popular ones out of the 4 school li's (designwise my favs r still my fallen syds bc pretty) so understandable (⌒_⌒)d

but thats insane that u find my pc pretty bc thats probably the most boring, most generic looking self insert ever 😭😭😭😭 so many people have cooler looking pcs out there so im flattered that u like mine 😭😭😭 ??????? for some reason 😭 ??????????

and you totally should !!!! (if u want to of course) despite me not posting as much dol as i used to i still love seeing dol fanart !! but do whatevr ur heart desiresss and no pressure :3

and i've actually been following the development of fields of mistria ever since i saw march in my twt feed !! i just want to wait for the full release so i dont have to keep repeating playthroughs n stuff (its the same with hades 2, i just tried out the beta test bc its free so i went why not lmao)

OKAY. I KNOW i said im gonna play homicipher but like,,,,,,,,, this is def just a me thing but when everyone keeps saying to play this thing or watch this thing (arcane,,,, homicipher,,,) it just disincentivises me to do it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 especially when i know im gonna like the thing. IDK WHY,,,, maybe its kinda like the same philosophy as someone telling u to do the dishes when ur alr on ur way to do the dishes and like ok i dont want to do it anymore ?? idkkk its weirdd

Re: P.S. you can follow me from whatever fandom ur in ! as long as youre not a minor and u have either 'adult' or your age in bio then its all good

SORRY I WAS KINDA CONFUSED AS TO WHO U WERE TALKING ABT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE HORSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i think u meant celia from tpof :3 ? that's probably one of my favorite drawings ive done ! i dont remember how i did it anymore thou,,,,,,,,

AND YEAA!!! i used to be an infamous irumatsu shipper back when i was active on my main on insta ! my silly lesbiabs,,,,,,,,,, they r everything to me,,,, my favorite chara is shuichi tho ♡

CATCHING UP WITH LORE 😭😭 U DONT HAVE TO DO ALL THAT,,, u arent missing out on much dw 😭 ty tho,,

weirdly enough i never got into creepypastas. i def stumbled into them from time to time like slenderman, jeff the killer, ben drowned n shit but i think ever since i got scared shitless by the smiledog.jpeg (??) i never stepped my foot into creepypasta territory ever again 😭😭😭😭😭 ok i like horror but im really really bad with jumpscares and suspence and stuff. i get scared easily orz,,

ive heard of it ! seen a lot of (really insane) fanart for it !! havent played it tho but i like some of the designs :3 i keep seeing the guy with the horns? malleus ? hes cute,, well tbh all of them r cute so its a hard choice

[punishedcrow]

OKAY YALL MAJOR RESIDENT LOVER SPOILERS HERE IM THEORIZING

So far I've done the Cassandra, Donna and Bela routes. This order is important. I've started with Cassandra because I continued on my demo save and so far everything seemed normal with some hints of mystery here and there, but I didn't get too much out of the romance objective and yes I save scummed a lot so I know a little about Cassandra's bad ending, but haven't gone fully through with it, I've just had the scene with her where she's all creepy.

I knew I'd have to solve mysteries, but in a game where you start over and over again, how would the secrets I found matter? THATS WHERE DONNA'S PLAYTHROUGH COMES IN. AGAIN, MAJOR SPOILERS!!!

So her route was full of secrets I didn't pry on. I save scummed a couple times, but since I loved Donna so much, I didn't even go too much further to know what happened on the bad choices. Only on her playthrough, characters star mentioning "rounds" and "next time" and Donna talks about not letting this happen again. MC is really important to Mother Miranda and the whole purpose of the game is for you to find out why. I've found some stuff at Cassandra's playthrough by sneaking in the third floor, but that didn't give me much clues. On Donnas route I've looked at some stuff and went back to a save when she absolutely hated it, but it didn't trigger a "secret found" prompt.

Donna knows about Miranda's plans and her capabilities, but she seems to have some power too bc Miranda didn't pressure her as much as you'd think. Like she straight up fucking turns of Bela's heart with magic (I told you there's spoilers) as punishment, but she's just "boogey woogey imma scare you" with Donna. What is Donna capable of? I need to know, maybe on another playthrough with her where I snoop around and try as many options as possible? I need to know, specially because she knows.

And this is why the developers of this game are geniuses bc Dona FUCKING REMEMBERS MC. At Bela's playthrough, when you go to her flower shop, she blushes when greeting you. Donna does NOT act like that at first glance on her playthrough. And it happened right after, on this order. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE ACT LIKE THAT IF SHE DIDN'T REMEMBER??? And it explains a lot why she was so jealous and possessive on her route. She knew she'd be seeing you with a bunch of other people over and over until eventually you came back to her (?). And also, even though Cassandra is flirty with everyone, she flirted with MC a lot at Donna's playthrough, when I still had a couple of Cassandra's saves registered. And at Bela's route, when I met Donna, I still had a couple of saves from the second playthrough. But none from Cassandra, since it had all been overwritten already and she didn't flirt with MC at all on Bela's playthrough, without her saves.

What I can deduce from the story I've seen so far is that the only Dimitrescu kid that has a hint of what's happening at this school is Bela, since she's been fucking cursed by Miranda. Donna knows because she's Miranda's "daughter" and Alcina's sister, who also knows about all the cult shit. But I cannot confirm if their remembrance is truly coded in the game. It probably is, because that is the point of this doki doki literature club time loop plotline. Like of course that's the plot line, come on, that's what's most fun about it.

Miranda wants something from MC, so imma leave her for last.

I've also noticed that Angie has been drinking more and more, specially on the third playthrough, after Donna, who's her aunt/mother. It almost felt like she was depressed everything was happening again and Donna would be depressed again (not the case apparently), so she got depressed too.

My game plan now is Dani, Angie, Alcina and Miranda. Let's see how this goes. After all that I'll mess around with Donna's route and others to see some bad endings with the creepy sprites like Cassandra covered in blood and zombie Bela killing my ass, that truly caught me off guard btw.

Oh and I'm really loving this game. The descriptions, the way it's written, it's all so well thought out to me. It's sensible, it's relatable, it's honestly quite captivating tbh. I love all those women and I don't feel like any of them are my super favorites, but maybe Donna bc I've always loved the character since I played RE Village. They're all so different and interesting that I like them all in different ways.

Honestly, I have no conclusion for this, but I know MC is important for some kind of ritual Miranda's cult is doing. What could it be? How does it connect to the time loop?

[ranposgirlboss]

So so so remember the "types of hugs they would give" that can also be seen platonic ? Could you do something like it with headpats please ? Any characters but could you include Ranpo, Poe, Mushitarou and Yokomizo please ?

YES I CAN. SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭

also yokomizo might be a lil ooc since i like barely understand his chara and i had to reread those chapters to try to BUT I TRIED MY BEST 😭

chara list: mushitarou (mushytaro), ranpo, poe, yokomizo, dazai, and chuuya

these are all completely platonic!!!

also im really sick so im really sorry if it seems lazy!!

------------------------------------------

MUSHITAROU

-HELP HE WOULD BE SO SASSY AS FIRST ANND PROBABLY DEADPAN YOU

-"UGH YOURE GOING TO MESS MY HAIR >:("

-secretly he likes it tho but HE cant admit that!!11!1

-OMG IMAGINE IF YOU GAVE HIS GHOSTS HEADPATS TOO

-AAAAAAAAAA I LOVE CUTE LITTLE GHOSTS SM

-also it would be kinda funny if u tried to give one of his ghosts a headpat and then ur hand just fucking phased through 💀

RANPO

-OMG HE LOVES IT AND GIVES U MANY HEADPATS BACK

-whenever yall are leaving after hanging out yalls goodbye is giving each other head pats <333

-he gets actually so happy omg

-i can see it where he likes both headpats and praise, they pretty much go hand in hand <33

-IDK WHAT ELSE TO WRITE OTHER THAN HE REALLY LOVES THEM HELP 😭

POE

-THESE PICTURES ARE ACTUALLY MY SERATONIN BOOST EVERY SINGLE DAY

-he enjoys head pats but is a bit shy to give them back bc he doesn't know if you're comfortable for not

-if you ask him to tho, he def will

-his smile would be so adorable if u gave him some omg

-pls give my man some headpats bc while he might not show his happiness externally he is so happy on the inside <333

YOKOMIZO

-I LITERALLY THOUGHT HE WAS A GILR WHEN I FIRST READ THE MANGA BYE (i haven't watched the anime so i didn't get the voice cue)

-I HAD TO LOOK UP IF HE WAS A GUY OR GIRL OUT OF CONFUSION

-i didnt think venti was a girl but then i somehow think he's a girl bye

-he seems like a nice chad so he will probably thank u and pat u back <33

-he just seems nice and calm so he wouldn't freak out about it and hell probably just smile and maybe tease you a bit about it

DAZAI

-DAZAAIIIII

-dazai would give u them back but like in the most chaotic way possible

-he would probably attempt to tackle you like a football player and just keep on patting your head like 298874932 times

-youll probably scream ad try to get away from his grip

-never make the same mistake again because it will only get worse

-or do it again and be prepared to be literally murdered by him

CHUUYA

-HE WILL PROBABLY JUMP AND ALMOST MURDER YOU BY ACCIDENT

-like bro will jump and then turn around and almost punch you if you try to do it behind him

-it will be so SO hard to get him to pat u back

-hes too prideful tbh

------------------------------------------

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! sorry this is so short im sick so i had to take a lot of breaks in between and i had to work a lot even tho im sick which made me a lot more tired lmaiujkahbsjkm

MY REQS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!!

[star-on-a-beach]

Okay um. I really don't like doing this, like, ever

But

Tw for vent post, Bc idk, maybe it'll help if I talk about this where it'll be seen and not on a vent blog where I know no one sees it

So it's pretty obvious that pretty much everything right now is in kind of a shit state and I'm really at the end of my line trying to be optimistic about it. Presidential election, rp, guard, college, art, writing, all of this shit, even stuff I'm supposed to enjoy, makes me want to fucking shatter a rock because I don't want to do anything anymore other than scroll through social media on my phone which, I've probably developed an addiction, and of course that makes me feel even fucking worse bc I told myself I'd never get addicted and look at where I am now

So many things I'm unhappy with are really kind of tying back to me and I'm so angry at everything but especially myself now, but theres nothing I feel like I can do about it but try and break it all down I guess?

There's shit going on with color guard and, other than the friends I've made within it and the actual performances, I don't fucking enjoy it anymore because our coach is apparently super fucking shitty and a liar and unfair and argumentative and never sticks with the drill she writes and doesn't give us the resources to put it together correctly, WHEHN SHES LITERALLY OUR COACH AND THATS HER JOB, IVE TRIED SO HARD TO STAY KIND TO HER BUT WITH EVERYONE AROUND ME TALKING SHIT AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT A BAD PERSON SHE IS IM STARTING TO DO IT TOO AND I HATE IT

And then obviously there's the actual schoolwork that needs to get done, I thought I had not one, not two, but 3 FUCKING ESSAYS DUE ON THE 11TH, WHICH WERE ASSIGNED TO US ON WEDNESDAY, AND EACH HAD TO BE 700 WORDS LONG. Granted it doesn't actually have to be like that but teachers are talking about finals now and I'm going to have SO many essays for that and I have a whole debate too. I'm tired and sick of waking up at ridiculously different times for classes and not being able to have a goddamn nap bc I'm either working, procrastinating with the screens addiction again, or I don't have enough time because god knows I can't take power naps for SHIT, and I'm not fucking paying for coffee in this economy

I can't even relax how I normally want to because I'm so tired from everything, too. Writing big things for TAOCC or drawing feels like a chore, and then I feel obligated to draw others characters or I want to actually do so but I have no energy for it, and I can't get my art to look how I want it to perspective-wise, no matter how many tutorials I look at, and it never ends up the way I want and I haven't even finished TAOCCTOBER or Memoryquest, both of which I feel shitty for, because then they're both more things that I'm giving up on, and I give up on so much shit so easily unless I'm being pushed over and over and over and over, although rn I really wanna just say to hell with it and kill both of them entirely

And with taocc as a whole, I don't even know where to begin. I mentioned in my earlier post that I'm struggling to be assertive and actually say what I want with RP, which results in me feeling really unsatisfied with it a lot. I feel like people aren't interested in my characters and I need to be the one trying to build the characters' connections by asking questions, which. I love when other characters ask mine questions, because so much would be revealed if PEOPLE JUST ASKED. I know you guys don't mean it in this way but I feel like I'm trying to push all of this out, but I barely get anything back except for maybe one question or comment or smth, but it feels like the characters aren't interested in my characters' pasts, and that means the mods aren't either. Which, is really no fault of yours, whether you are or not, it's my fault because I can't bring myself to get off my high horse and actually say "hey, are you willing to have your characters ask about mine?" because I have the firm mentality of "if they wanted to, they would", and I'm trying to make other characters feel important while also craving mine to feel important, but the moment they do, I wonder if I'm taking the main-character roles too much and I need to even it out so I immediately divert the attention back to yours and feel shitty about it. Once again, this is no one's fault but mine, and this is partially why my relationship with my last rp partner, aka my ex bsf, ended, because I wasn't assertive enough and kept wondering if I was hogging the spotlight any time focus did switch to my characters which just isn't enjoyable for anyone. So I'm angry and terrified that these patterns which are repeating are going to lead to a similar outcome.

It isn't even just that though, I just really hate how I write as a whole rn. I used to be so poetic and good with words but now they read difficult unless I'm writing a great wall of text, and my characters aren't acting the way I want to, partially because I'm trying to morph them to get along more with other characters and diminish their flaws so they're liked by others, but it just takes away from who they were originally and I hate that as well. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the rp but for fucks sake I expect myself to be a better writer than this.... and I haven't even gotten around to fixing the fucked-up-with-a-side-of-cheddar timelines, which have been NAGGING at my mind for FUCK KNOWS HOW LONG, but once again, I don't even want to do anything anymore and I get mad bc the only things I wanna do are just self indulgent shit and like hell I'm asking for that from anyone (see, that's part of the problem, right there.)

I think the only thing I hate more than not being assertive with rp is the fact that I'm an adult among you all. Yes, being 18 now while the majority of you are minors is a massive fucking deal to me, and I'm realizing why exactly adults generally avoid friendships like this, because I'm constantly worried about being a good example to you all. I have to have the good advice, I have to be available, I have to be good with assertiveness and boundaries, hell part of the reason I try and avoid venting so much is because you all do not fucking need to have that burden. Every time I do something like this post I immediately think "these are kids and I'm an adult, it's kids trying to help an adult who should not be saying this stuff or laying this burden on them", as if I'm some kind of weirdo. I really try my damndest to not be one of those adults who dumps all their problems on adolescents in order to feel better about their own shitty life, I don't want to be the adult who their younger friends are comforting all the time and have that burden on them (yes, I am completely aware this post contradicts that, and yes, I am very ashamed but I feel Im at rock bottom and you guys deserve to know (but don't deserve the burden of it)). I don't feel like the example I want to be to you guys, I'm incredibly dense, and half the time, I feel like an oblivious idiot for the simplest fucking things in rp even when no one says anything that implies any of you guys think that. I get so annoyed as well, and that's another part I especially hate, it's that I get annoyed with the smallest things so damn easily, whether it's someone saying something random in call and breaking silence, or someone talking about a subject after we've moved on, or a rant that's gone on for a really long time. All of those are ridiculous things to be annoyed by, and I'm completely aware of that. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. It might also be the weather, but I'm so, so, so annoyed by so many tiny, insignificant things nowadays that it's ridiculous, and I've snapped on call a few times which I feel horrible about. I'm trying so hard to be a good, strong role model for all of you, because that's what you deserve and I want to be like that for you. But, both here and in real life, my own idiocy and density and emotions make me feel like I'm never going to escape being a dense, emotional, spacy child who keeps trying to catch up. And as an adult, I'm really, really, really upset that I feel like this because once again, you guys are the minors, not me. I'm not saying you guys should feel like that (I really hope not, no one should feel like that), but it feels even worse since I'm trying to be the adult for you guys to look up to, but I'm looking up to all of you instead. And then, even worse, I get jealous. Not of the bad shit you guys go through, but like. Insignificant things. Art styles, friends, activities, actually having your family around. I really hate myself for being jealous of that and always comparing and trying to match it since it's completely hypocritical of me otherwise.

I'm closing up this vent, but tw for some darker themes in the next paragraph

I'm really just kind of sick of life as a whole. I'm done being an adult, to hell with this, just let me be the younger friend again so I don't have to see myself as an old baby. I'm tired of all of this and the dark jokes I make, they're horrible, but they're becoming more common and I think about the content of them a lot. I'm so tired of this shit and feeling like this and I'm mad and ashamed that I'm making this post because of everything I said above. I'm so done with everything. To hell with this country, to hell with my future, to hell with drawing and writing and trying to put stuff out. At the time of writing this I'm crying, because I'm really really missing my dad. I want to hug him and be with him. I want my family overall to be okay. I want to feel happy and content with myself and my life like back in summer. I'm so sorry for having to say all this but it's the truth and, again, this is my last resort for trying to feel better because hell knows I don't have the initiative to make an appointment and talk to a therapist on campus. Ik this will go away later but ffs i don't know if I can wait until later.

Ok, heavy vent part is over

I've said a lot so I'm ending it here. If you choose to ignore this, that's fine. I'd appreciate some kind of acknowlegement, tbh, whether it's a like or a comment or something, or just a kind word (whatever you do, please don't just put *hug* and leave it at that, hugs dont really feel like they have much more meaning at this point). It feels ridiculous to ask you for comfort especially after kinda dumping all of this here for you guys to see but I might as well try ig. Idk, I'm gonna just try and not delete this out of shame.

I hope you all know that I love you guys so, so, so, so much. This community has brought me so much joy and leaving is the last thing I'd ever dream of unless I had to. I hope you guys don't mind me doing this too much. Logically Ik you probably don't but, really, none of what I just vented about is based in logic regardless.

Thank you for reading, whether it was skimming or fully reading it. Kind words are appreciated but obviously not forced and I love you guys so much. Goodnight ❤️

[thebindingofpillo]

do you have any designs of what other tainted characters look like?

i saw your t.magdalene on twitter and ive seen t.bethany and i love them both so much

i guess im really interested on jacob and esau tainted designs lol

Okay so, while I do have some ideas on everyone's design, I haven't really tackled anyone yet aside from Judas, Magdalene and Bethany, mostly because I don't really know how to insert them in the story. Judas' tainting actually has a part in the story, and I think i drew him already a bunch of times. Apollyon also has a whole story arc about becoming tainted and making a huge mess! He's tied to Maggy's tainting too.

Eden also had some sort of tainting arc, but it involves them becoming human and being unable to change in any way, so it's more like a reverse-tainting. Eden's tainted form is very tied to the game mechanics, I haven't really thought about how that would translate in a more realistic setting.

Lazarus is already kind of tainted, but maybe I could use his undead design for a flashback.

And now for the more up in the air ones:

Isaac would have become beaten up during one of the apocalyptic arcs, and it was bc he was trying to protect Jacob and (dark) Esau from an angel or something, but then the story got shuffled around a little bit and while I still think it would be cool for it to happen, I don't really know when or how.

I had an idea for Cain that when his left eye got gouged and he became tainted he'll finally be able to grow old and die, but that was before I paired him up with Lilith, and now I don't want to leave Lilith alone :( and Lilith too, her tainting involved Satan trying to get her back but it quickly devolved into something way too dark that I didn't feel comfortable tackling, and honestly Satan doesn't really care about her all that much so it wouldn't really make much sense.

As for Samson and Eve, I think they might we might see their tainted version in some flashbacks! Specifically Samson's first life, when he met Eve for the first time ever. The story was pretty simple too, Samson would find Eve dishevelled and shunned by society, he would help her out, she would try to warn him about Delilah but he'd ignore her, and everybody knows how the story goes from there. I'd love to tackle some actual biblical stories sometimes lol.

Azazel is a bit of a sore spot because, with Judas's possession arc, it would make sense for him to become tainted but... I don't wanna T.T I like his design too much and I don't want to hurt my boy... I'll have to think about it.

Anyway Tl, dr: no I don't have many other tainted designs BUT in 2021 when this AU was still being thought about I did a quick Dark Esau character ref that apparently I never posted (because of spoilers I guess? I don't remember)

Goddddd this is old. Can't believe I never posted this lol. Also there's a mention of the Beast in the text but the Beast has since been erased lol. Need to find a place for her. I guess Esau's design would be pretty similar to this one, just more buff now lol. And I guess Jacob would look pretty much the same but more tired and bald and stressed... Once I'm done with the next comic I might try to give them a little refresh.

I hope this was interesting enough!

[redr0sewrites]

i wanted to kinda talk about my opinion on some things related to Ana Huang and the romance genre in general- sorry for the rant!!!

finished king of sloth by ana huang and urgrhrgrhrhrh i actually really really enjoyed it!!!! (i say that ab everything i read tho tbh, i've just never been the type who criticizes the media i consume so PLEASE don't ever base ur opinions off of mine :)

my post isn't about the book specifically or even the author. i lowkey have a bone to pick and its NOT with ana huang or the book but moreso the reaction i've been noticing about the book (specifically from people who have been making fun of it and/or people who read it)! this isn't meant to start discourse or anything but i am open to polite discussion about some of the points im bringing up. this is generally focused around ana huang but also a lot of majority-feminine centric media has this same problem.

anyways, i'm gonna try to express how i feel as best i can without being rude or offensive ajshsjs-

it just lowkey irks me that sm people have been hating on ana huang now that she's getting attention, and since she's a romance writer, her fans and fanbase is mostly women and/or girls, (which is totally ok)!! however, i genuinely feel like this is just another barbie movie or sarah j mass or taylor swift scenario where the second something/someone that a lot of woman like starts to get publicity, people (mostly men) start excessively hating on it.

i have genuinely seen sm people dissing not only ana huang but her writing as well. now i don't know much about her as a person and i know that a lot of people are flawed so if she's genuinely done something wrong PLEASE lmk, i don't keep up w that stuff. and hey, maybe you just didn't like the book and thats ok too!!! its totally valid to not like something, but to make fun of an author and the people who enjoy her content just seems.. ehh.

a lot and i mean a LOT of people claim that she's only popular because of her smut but i actually enjoy her books more than just for the smutty/romance aspect. maybe that's just me, but i genuinely find it interesting and a lot of other people i know also enjoy it for the plot. and if u are reading for the smut that's ok as well, this is a totally safe space, and nobody should judge u on your reasons to read a book. the books are INTENDED to be fluffy and spicy and overall are just fictional romantic stories. they're smutty, funny books, not the bible. it shocks me how much people make fun of them.

i just keep seeing this trend of people negatively nitpicking anything and everything about authors and their writing ESPECIALLY when its romance and it just rubs me the wrong way. ive seen a LOT of people upset about huang including cameo's of her other characters in her latest book, and if you don't like those other characters so much then why... are u reading it??? THAT SOUNDS SO MEAN IM SORRY but its just so strange that people are upset about her including her own characters from her own series'?

its just disappointing that whenever someone or something becomes popular, there are always people who are just trying to be negative and diss it along with the people who enjoy it. i'm NOT making this post to be rude or offensive to people who genuinely don't like the author or the series, ur absolutely entitled to ur own opinion!!! however i have just seen this link SO MANY TIMES of people suddenly disliking something/someone bc a lot of woman seem to enjoy it and it just makes me a bit sad and disappointed.

(also side note can men stop hating on the romance genre and books they haven't even read? please??? can feminine people like anything anymore??? romance exists as such a successful genre bc the majority of readers are WOMEN who have to create fictional scenarios about being loved by seemingly "unachievable" men that are literally just doing the bare minimum. women fantasize about being treated with BASIC HUMAN RESPECT as though that isn't the standard, bc honestly, it isnt.)

THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO EXCLUDE ANY OF MY FELLOW NON-FEMALE/NON-WOMAN OR GENDER NON CONFORMING FOLK WHO ALSO ENJOY ROMANCE!!!! THIS IS JUST A GENERALIZATION BASED ON THINGS I HAVE NOTICED, AND I AM NOT EDUCATED/HAVE A DEGREE ON THE MATTER!!!! THIS IS SIMPLY AN OBSERVATION!!!!! IF UVE READ THIS LONG, MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!

[allisluv]

Heyyy, I loved you Annie hcs and I am so glad to find someone who writes for her! I saw someone in the comments say that they love how you didn't immediately associate her with Finnick and I agree.

So my request includes Annie bc she's just so underrated and it's basically some mild smut. It can be whatever you want and I saw you don't write anything explicit, I totally get it, it can be a short blurb or some headcanons, maybe NSFW alphabet, whatever you'd like but Annie smut, to the level you're comfortable ofc, would make my day! 🫶🏻

anon thank you so much for your request and your kind words, they mean a lot!!! i love annie with my whole entire heart so feel free to send in as many requests as you'd like

im trying to write more smut as im lowkey getting more comfortable with it but this my first time doing a nsfw alphabet so please just be cautious that it might not be the best <33

pairing: switch!annie cresta x switch!fem!reader

warnings: nsfw. lesbian sex. not edited.

A — aftercare (what they're like after sex):

annie is super romantic after sex. she'll run you both a bath and light candles, wrapping her arms around your waist. she's really clingy and super big on praise, so she'll make sure to tell you how well you done and how much she loves you.

B — body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partners)

annie likes her mouth. your eyes are always constantly falling to her lips and she giggles while reminding you where her eyes are. annie likes being able to make you feel good with her tongue too, so that naturally makes her mouth one of her favourite features.

on you, she likes your thighs. in public, she can trace patterns over your skin and in the bedroom, she can grip your thigs as her face is buried in your cunt.

C — cum (anything to do with cum)

i think annie likes to make you cum before even thinking about it herself. she prefers to give rather than receive so your pleasure is really a priority of hers. i think she's a squirter though tbh

D — dirty secret

she dreamed about having you in a bathroom stall once and its been all she can think about since.

E — experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

annie has practically no experience. i think you would be her first and while she might need a bit of guidance on what you like, she knows what shes doing and she can do it better than any man can.

F — favourite position

i think annie finds thigh riding really hot. she loves when you guide her and leave little finger prints in the skin of her hipbones. it's quite a vulnerable position for her too. she likes being able to watch your face contort in pleasure as you buck your hips into the air, desperately trying to get some friction

G — goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc)

for annie, sex is something shared between someone that you love with all your soul, and if you can't laugh with them, then what's the point? if she's giggling during sex, it means you're doing something right!!

H — hair (how well groomed are they? do the curtains match the drapes, etc...)

i quite honestly dont think annie shaves and she has absolutley no shame about it!!

I — intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspects...)

annie is a romantic at heart. shes pressing kisses into your skin and devoting herself to you fully. shes huge on consent, so she praises you when you use your safe word or let her know how youre doing.

J — jack off (masturbation headcanons)

annie touches herself if you haven't seen each other in a while but she prefers to wait until you see each other in person

K — kink (one or more of their kinks)

annies a switch but she does prefer to be on top. she occassionaly likes to tie you up and dont even get me started on her praise kink.

L — location (favourite places to have sex)

as i said, sex is pretty romantic for annie so a lot of it is kept to the bedroom or at the very least your house.

M — motivation (what turns them on, what gets them going)

you. like you could quite literally do anything and this woman is on her knees.

N — no (something they won’t do, turn offs)

annie won’t do anything that hurts you. it’s just a huge turn-off for her. if youre into choking, she will do it, but that’s about as far as she’ll go.

O — oral (preference in giving or receiving)

physical touch is her love language, so regardless of whether its sexual or not, she prefers giving and she knows all the right places to touch you.

P — pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

for annie, it’s all about love so she takes her time with you, regardless of circumstances. she has moments of passion where she rips your clothes right off your body, but it still ends up being slow and calculated movements. she doesn’t have sex, she makes love <3

Q — quickies (their opinions on quickies, how often etc)

she rarely has quickies but she’s not against them. if you’ve only got a certain amount of time, then she is all for them.

R — risk (are they willing to experiment, do they take risks etc)

she’s willing to try almost anything with you but i don’t think she’s big on public spaces. she prefers being in private with you but again, she’s a try everything at least once kind of girl

S — stanima (how many rounds do they go for, how long do they last)

annie can go for hours. this woman does not get tired and she only stops once you’re a trembling, writhing mess

T — toy (do they own toys, do they use them, on a partner or themselves)

annie owns loads of strapons and wands. she loves using the strapons on you and edging you with the wands.

U — unfair (how much they like to tease)

surprisingly, i think annie’s a really big tease. she likes hearing you beg for it but in the end, she will always give you what you want bc shes just a huge softie at heart!!

V — volume (how loud are they, what sounds they make)

believe it or not, i think she’s quite loud. she makes soft little moans and whines mostly.

W — wild card (random headcanon)

annie could eat you out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. my girl is a munch.

X — x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

shes got a bit of a bush but shes got such a pretty pussy.

Y — yearning (how high is their sex drive)

annie’s got a pretty even sex drive but i feel like it always peaks during her menstrual cycle

Z — ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep)

annie gets pretty sleepy after sex. she stays awake for as long as possible but does typically end up falling asleep before you do.

[ted-calling-orson]

LONG ASK IM SO SORRY

ok im sorry to enter ur askbox but i cant just contain this to tags and like. you are SOOOO right for liking kermit !!! sad mf. love him. also can i just say- WHY is there NOT more fanfic im SORRY but. if we have so much crackfic of modern presidents or even actual fic/oneshots of other presidents, PLEASE give us TR / TR fam fic !!!! id eat that shit UP. i got so tired of it i published my own tr kiddos fic istg its either anon or on my acc i can find it

and im so confused on why NATM teddy aint got more fics that at least mention the kids OR siblings. sorry this is gonna be a long ask. but really !! like. theres maybe 5(?) max fics ive seen mention them. a few in the Treasured Collection NATM fic series, and maybe one or two loose ones around. im SOOOO close to writing a self indulgent fic for it. again srry for how long this is. but i never come across tr fans. rlly i swear. also so right for liking the muppets (Fozzie my beloved <3)

oh !! and the cartoon network idea??? YES. absolutely. id watch it. 10000%. i think presidential cartoons should exist more, beyond episodes in preexisting shows. itd be so cool!! ive watched possibly every documentary i can find on TR/show that features him (like The Alienist) i need some lighthearted stuff.

finally idk if youre big on reading books or trilogies but if you can id recommend reading Edmund Morris' trilogy on TR if you haven't yet. the final book ending had me crying at 7am december 2022 like 10 times.

p.s the erb rap battle was so silly and im so surprised i saw nobody in the comments mention quentin with the line churchill shot of TR's family dying prematurely. sorry for the length of this ask--and dino au is so cool and i wanna hear all abt it !!

-🦆

OH MY GOSH THIS IS LIKE A DREAM WHEUSHSUWJWKEKWKWKWJNWJWIXJWBWIDJISJEBDISJSISJSIS oooo we should be best friends ooooooo. Also dw about this being too long you are literally one of my favorite people of all time😭‼️🙏

on the Kermit thing: YIPPEEE‼️‼️‼️ finally another Kermit fan😭 the only other recognition he’d get was from some Indiana jones mini series. Id love to write Roosevelt fan fiction but I don’t like posting my stuff on tumblr (usually my fics are for me and my friends⁉️) but ey, maybe I’ll post something🙏

ALSO MUPPET FAN‼️‼️‼️ my favs are Dr. Teeth and Kermit

on the natm thing: YIPPEE- I wanna write about my au so bad cuz I’ve got so many ideas for it especially for Elliot and Theo’s relationship bc their rivalry was so bad it extended into their daughters. Evil Elliott seemed like an awesome concept and what if he dragged Corinne into it??? Wieihdjehsjs

the tv show: OK OK SO I had a HUGE concept of this show. First off: it’s like your avid 2000s sitcom but with art‼️ The Taft’s (and in later seasons, the Wilson’s) are their neighbors and T.R and W.H.T would have silly angry dad neighbor hijinks (and they both hate the Wilsons together), Alice is the popular girl and there was gonna be a whole episode on her affair with William Borah, Kermit is the shy kid that gets into scuffles with Ted jr, Quentin and Archibald are the spoiled younger sibs, Ethel is the neutral younger sister and Edith is the mostly annoyed mom. Also Quentin and Charles Taft are best friends and I’ll prolly write more ideas for it but I do have designs for Kermit, Ethel and Alice:

anyway, you don’t know how excited I got when I saw this in my inbox😭 but yeah I love your stuff man! Pls post more Teddy stuff I thrive off it im literally one of 5 Theodore Roosevelt fans

ALSO IM GLAD YOU MENTIONED THE RAP BATTLE CUZ- I think that line is about most of his family dying fairly young (Theodore sr., Quentin, Elliott etc) and not just his kids but I could be wrong the fandom wiki of erb is so 50/50

[demonsfate]

me personally, i feel like booboo the fool 🤡 bc i got hopeful seeing how old victor was so i dared to wonder if reina would be. Not Young SKSBSJSNSB i forgot only males can be over 25!!!! OF COURSE they made her a highschooler 💀

i DO like her characterisation and i get it but like. i feel like things like her voice and attitude don’t really match her appearance…? with the way she acts, i feel like it would have made sense to make her, idk, a little older? not 30, bc that would have been too much for the babies at namco to handle 🥺🥺 but at least, not a highschooler!!! there was literally no reason for that except for the fact that they’re cowards LMAO. i would have been pissed if they made her all squeaky and shit. but at least right now, i just don’t feel intimidated by her at all. idk personally i find her characterisation (mainly her voice tbh) a little jarring with her young looking design and she just seems like a little shit AJSBSBSB

really im not surprised AT ALL, but a sigh was still soghed 😔 ig we’ll find out in january what she’s really about. i have a feeling i’ll warm up to her at some point though

LIKE. i was already expecting reina to be young. i knew there is no way she's gonna be as old as kazuya or lee. but i was guessing she'd be around 24-28 years old. i was... not expecting her to be a high schooler LOL. like, for some reason, that took me by surprise. so reina was worse than i was expecting!!

and i know, know, there ARE plenty of old dudes who have children later in life. but the problem doesn't necessarily lie in heihachi having a kid at a late age, it lies in the fact that there can't be any older females in the tek series. jun's the only "older" woman we have whose actually 40+ in the game. nina and anna don't really count since they were cryogenically frozen, and therefore haven't actually aged mentally or physically since tek2. hell! even lidia is only 29, and according to her backstory, was apparently 21 when she got into office. except... i looked it up and yup

poland's the same rules as we are, you have to be 35 to be president. they couldn't even make a PRESIDENT 35 years old. so, of course heihachi's youngest kid is his daughter.

and i do agree, it is kinda bizarre since... they did actually give her a fairly deep voice (as you would expect heihachi's daughter to have) which isn't seen often with the "school girls" of tekken who usually have higher pitched voices. so idk why they went with the idea that she's a high schooler at xiao's and jin's school. since that raises questions (has she seen xiao and jin before?) but... MAYBE she's actually gonna have something to do with jin and xiao, so maybe THAT'S why she has to be a high schooler. we'll see when the game comes out. right now, reina's background is a total mystery, we're only guessing what it could be. hell, her being heihachi's daughter isn't even actually known yet, we're just assuming due to her taking his personality / movesets, and the leak.

which, yeah... that's also why i'm scared she'll be an actual threat / hinderance in the story. because a high schooler isn't all that intimidating. an older woman would've been much "scarier", and more believable she could go up against the likes of kazuya and even jin. which i've seen many people try to defend it with "so what if it's a high schooler flooring kazuya? this game is full of unrealistic crazy stuff!" and it's like i'm SOOO tired of "TEK IS UNREALISTIC IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO THE SUSPENSION OF BELIEF SHOULD JUST BE COMPLETELY SNAPPED!!11!" it's like..... a story can be fantastical, but still have grounded rules for its own universe. and when it comes to power level scales, the series has been... mostly consistent. so to have a teenager who can possibly be a threat to kazuya or jin is just going too far imo. BUUUT... we also don't know if that's what's going on. we'll just have to see when 8 arrives.

which i would've liked reina a lot more if it just wasn't for her connection to the story, and my fears i have regarding her because of that. but we'll see when the game comes out. maybe i'll be blown away and she'll become one of my favorites. we won't know until we play 8!

[teddybeartoji]

hey mickey!! bringing u some flowers in these trying winter times 🌻💐🌷🌹🌸 i hope ur doing super duper well!!!

i also wanted to ask if u have any recs for like. movie review channels? :’3 or maybe more like movie deep-dives/analyses? i watch prettymuchit a bunch but their videos r more reactions than reviews (IF U DONT ALREADY WATCH THEM I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THEM THOOO they r soso funny)… if u have any at all i’d love to hear them!! i figure thats a pretty good starting point for my filmbro arc pshdjhd

sending u all the love n hugs <33 i WILL get to ur movie and soundtrack recs btw im mentally getting into the cinema headspace 💯💯

my sweet sweet angel ari!! thank you for the flowers<33333

beware! beware! ask mickey about movies and they'll go insane!!!! this ALSO this got very long but we are past apologizing (i'm squinting my eyes at u bc u need to remember that) HERE WE GOOOOO

i will apologize for not having a movie review recommendation for you though:(((((((((((( i literally get all that i need from my letterboxd mutuals (i trust them with my life) i have found the people who have the same taste as me and i know that when the majority of them like a movie - i will like it. a "real film critic" could say that it's shit but when the people of letterboxd say it's five stars i fucking know it's five stars ok

i haven't been on a movie review channel/person search in a while but last i was i realized that so many of them are rather technical and that's boring..... so i really do trust letterboxd more. of course, there are a lot of just one-liners (i literally do that too) but there are people who write long and deep reviews and those feel so much more personal and give more insights than the ones i've seen floating around the internet.

FOR MOVIE ANALYSIS my favourite channel is lessons from the screenplay!!!!!! i've been watching his videos for ever ever and ever and i love them so much!!1! he has taught me so much, especially when i was just getting more into films!!! so i went to my little playlist of videos and i picked up some about my all time favourite films!!

inglourious basterds - the elements of suspense; my god, do i love this movie....... this is a yearly watch for me, i've memorized the lines and all. the performances are great, the soundtrack is amazing, it's so fucking funny??? and i'm now also realizing how much of a filmbro i'm actually coming off as but do i care? not at all. i love this movie.

annihilation - the art of self-destruction; okay i mentioned this already but i'm doing it again!!!!!!! it's such a fucking experience i really actually hope you'll watch it one day (and that you'll tell me your thoughts) this is also like a life-changer of a movie in my opinion, i often just randomly start thinking about it; the visuals, the insanity of it aaaaahhhh.

nightcrawler - empathy for the antihero; overall this movie is sooo engrossing?? like mesmerizing but not necessarily in a good way lmao.

now i'll link some various ones (but still about my favourite movies/directors so u can get to know me better hehehhe) some of these do have spoilers but vid will give a warning if u don't wanna see that!!

how david fincher hijacks your eyes

when the director reallyyyy respects the audience…

hereditary | what the script teaches us

pirates of the carribean | accidentally genius

movie stunt coordinator breaks down 'atomic blonde' fight scene; i love this movie bc how she uses the things around her to fight, makes it so much more interesting that just fist fist knife knife

searching for disco elysium

what games are like for someone who doesn't play games; this one was a bit of a life changer for me, it seems like such a small little thing to talk about but it's so important it made me look at things and games so much more differently it's so cool he has two more on the same topic i think too!

i really tried to not go overboard but i just............. can't help it so here are a few more recs...........................

blade runner 2049 (2017) - a film about a replicant/an android detective who finds out that another replicant had a child many years ago (replicants cannot have children) and he's now convinced that he is said child this is sci-fi with some action and blood but it's not scary plus points for the insane visuals and the soundtrack 9/10 minus point for it being kind of slow paced?

the nice guys (2016) - a film about two private detectives; one of them is almost cool and the other one is so pathetic i love him so much this is a comedy so 10/10

the man from uncle (2015) - a film about spies spying on each other, it's so fun (the soundtrack is good but we knew that already didn't we smh) 9/10 minus point for armie hammer the cannibal

[bonesandthebees]

okay so like i was gonna just start on this tonight and get the general ideas down and finish this when i was Awake and Functioning but then i started rambling so uhhh jazz handss

take me describing the diff energies ur fics give off, i am sorry if this is uncomprehensible fjwaewf (is that even a word?? incomprehensible? ye-)

through a glass divine: DEFFFF rainy day vibes, the au feels very Elegant to me even though glass!wilbur himself is very much not, when I read glass I get the same vibes as being in a car /pos, it's comforting but can get intense at times, sometimes with no warning. like one minute your head is against the glass (heh, pun unintended lol), and ur looking out at the streetlamps, the next the breaks are SLAMMED and u get whacked against the seatbelt lmfaoooo (this is all /pos !! i love the angst lol)

world forgetting: FOGGG, that's the first thought that pops into my head, things are unclear first and it's a little eerie but there's also something comforting about it (i will use this word a lot bc . well ur writing is comforting hehehe), the first half of wf was very exciting, it reminded me of when i used to have my mcu marathons, edge of my seat, shoving popcorn into my face, and just glee, the first few chapters with wf especially with the combat made me so fucking giddy lmfaooo i had so much fun reading it, the second half was a lot more calm and melancholy, it was defff sitting on the couch while it rains outside vibes, like MM the hurt comfort?? give me a blanket and a pillow to squeeze bc hot damnn

stars and their children: stars man . hooweeee, this fic was binging a 12 season show vibes, you invest a lot into it and wow the emotional damage?? for real. this fic was late night rants at sleepovers, theorizing n coming up with silly conspiracy theories (i think this was when i really started reading the asks, so for me it has a lot of those vibes tied to it), when i read stars… i feel a lot of Awe. it feels big, it feels important, it also feels like im reading a very fancy novel from a very big library, like i feel like i've stepped into a massive multi-tiered library and plucked my favourite book from its shelf, i can imagine the hardcover being absolutely gorgeous, it gives me the same vibes as getting assigned a book to read in class and having your mind blown /pos from it, like "damn i understand why they make us read this bc wow"

(fun fact i have ur ao3 page bookmarked on my toolbar lmaoooo)

honey and tangerines: well . this one just gives me island and coastal vibes lolll u described them very well, but okay from a reading perspective? besides indie movie lmao. i'd say… hanging out with a friend you haven't seen in a while. it's familiar, it's bittersweet, it's thrilling. honey and tangerines gives me the vibes of doing something youve been wanting to for awhile but were always too scared to. pushing your boundaries. it's all those classic "finally living life vibes", staying out till 3 am, finally getting around to decorating your room, going on a roadtrip. when i read honey and tangerines, it feels like i'm experiencing life. all the prev fics either feel like novels or movies, but hats feels like life

what the water gave me: ngl when i read this i just feel such pure emotion that i cry like idek how to explain it man. it's so all encompassing /pos it does give me staying up late in my room with fairy lights vibes though, dunno why. just gives off that same warm energy

A DUSTY TOMB OMGGOJEAWE i need to reread that anyways

a dusty tomb: straight off the bat, playing dnd. dnd is so much fun and i have so many happy memories from it and a dusty tomb defff gives off those vibes, chaos, freeing, family. it also gives off the vibe of finding a piece of old writing in a buried notebook and reading it and going "wtf?? when did i write this this is amazing" maybe that's just bc it feels like u read my mind writing it lmao it's perfect i adore it so much and i have reread it an unholy amount of times, i just get the vibes of sitting criss cross on the floor and reading it, it's not necessarily a comfy position but it's enjoyable nonetheless, just a happy moment for oneself, it feels like giving yourself a treat, self care, all of that good stufff

no time confounds me: def feels like watching a tv show /pos, it def feels like smth i'd put on w my stepmom or my birth mom and just absolutely fucking Vibe to it bro, that fic is suchhh a vibe, i'd sink into my couch and get HOOKED, it also ofc brings w it all the vibes of just where i live LMAO, and the motorcycling reminds me of my dad <333 i miss motorcycling with him dawggg it's so much fun, but yeahhh. all the vibes described in the fic just make me want to go out for a hike in a forest lmao, i love it. also hot chocolate. this fic is defff drinking hot chocolate vibes

nocturnal animals: ooohh this one is defff late night vibes, working late on hw and looking out ur window and just taking a moment to appreciate the stars n stuff, also windy day vibes, this def feels like a novel my friend would shove at me to read and i'd be like "brooo i dont even LIKE vampires" and theyd be like "no bro just trust me" and then i'd be really bored one day so i'd pick it up and then get addicted . and then in this hypothetical series that has like a billion books i'd go to the library and borrow them all and binge them in a week lmfao, i love this fic sm ngl, i would proudly display this fic on my bookshelf (well i mean, i would literally display all of ur fics on my bookshelf KING i would have a shelf dedicated to ur fics 100%)

okay… i think those are all the main fics, there're a couple more that i've read but i am . getting really really reallyyy tired and idek if any of this is comphrensible lmfaooo 😭 😭 😭

i hope u enjoyed bee <333 tldr: i love ur writing and i have core memories attached to all of these fics and they are all special to me in their own way <33

ohhhh these are so cool to read icy (sorry it took me so long to respond I've been so busy lately)

lmao love all the drama in glass being compared to a car braking super suddenly. rainy car drives is definitely not the vibe I think it has in my head but that's super sweet to imagine :)

comparing stars to a Big Fancy Book makes me so happy thank you so much. I have this absolutely gorgeous fancy version of Dune with a stunning cover and I always imagine something kind of similar as the 'cover' for stars in my head so i love that you imagine that too

in contrast you and i feel the exact same about honey and tangerines. it's definitely that kind of bittersweet reconciling friendship vibe. saying it feels like life means so much thank you <33 thats exactly what I was going for

to me what the water gave me feels like swimming in a warm tropical ocean at night which might be a bit on the nose but yeah that's what I think of. but fairy lights in a room sounds so nice I love that

awww I love that idea for dusty tomb. just rereading something nostalgic and wonderful and feeling so comforted by it. that makes me smile a lot to imagine :)

hot chocolate and watching a tv show YEAHHHH you get it that's exactly what i was going for from no time confounds me. also that's so funny that you mention motorcycling with your dad bc that's where my descriptions of riding motorcycles comes from. my dad always used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle when I was a little kid, it was so much fun

oooo windy day for nocturnal animals is interesting but I love it. also god you saying it feels like a series with dozens of books reminds me of this vampire series i read in middle school that had like 10 books it's absolutely nothing like nocturnal animals but now I'm having a nostalgia trip thinking about it lol

thank you icy this was so sweet to read :)

[calliettes-posts]

okay so contrary to what many fans feel like (even me for the longest time), i'm actually starting to feel quite okay with the door thing being dragged out. solely bc we are watching teenagers in real time. It was anaïs' first ever crime and she was stuck between two of the people she loves most. i wouldn't have known what to do either at that age. I honestly feel like it's really realistic that she walked around with it for that long. okay granted, im still pissed at some of the writing choices, bc they made Bobbie loose all of her well roundedness as a character and im still pissed af they added that SA storyline. and the fact that it's again the black girl that has to take everyone into consideration. like pls how much shit did they throw on her this season? (maybe bv we called ada's season a snoozefest?? idk?) but i'm really feeling okay with everyting. between a&b too. They've reconciled and honestly there's still a lot they have to figure out, but i'm fine with that being something we'll see snippets of in the next season. i'm trying to channel my inner 16 yo. If i would have gone through the same shit they've encountered i wouldn't be where they are. they are actually willing to listen and grow!! we've seen this in bobbie and their friends! i'm actually so done with the narrative that everyone is shitty to anaïs. they're only just starting to navigate their way into adulthood. they've been noticing shit! shit man i was a depressed fuck going out with fake ID's and at one point i fell in love with a girl while still dating another. but still hella insecure and i was pretty bad at making friends irl so i spent most of my time on here. my life was freaking messy too. as a viewer it's easy to want shit resolved or see progression sooner bc it's more entertaining to watch. but i feel like they've done a great job taking in consideration we are watching them in real time. (if we forget how shitty the wtfock team is with their social media, i'm begging again, hire one of us pls). idk i'm just really happy to see this kind of representation in an original season. let's not forget we all loved sobbe, zoenne and like in other countries the other remakes bc it was tried and tested!! Imo wtfock had really redeemed itself after ada's season and they've taken notes from druck and skam france. good notes. end of rant.

That's actually a very interesting take, I haven't thought about it this way tbh. I think my biggest problem was that they added dramatic plots and dragged them out, just to resolve them in 1 minute clips, like why was there so much build up just for it not to matter in the end? And with the door plot, my biggest issue was that we saw the same conversation over and over again, but tbf, like you said, it kind of makes sense for Anais to act this way, i just wish theyd put more emphasis on her dilemma, if that makes sense, and if we had more social media, maybe I would've felt differently Also I felt like they put too much importance on Hanne and Bobbie instead of Anais, the actual main, because we had lots of plot lunes for her established in the first season, just to abandon in the 2nd half, and quickly resolve them last minute, and let's not even talk about the sa plot, that was so unnecessary

Tbh, I also think Anais season is way better than Adas, especially the first half of the season, it was more entertaining to watch, and the plotlines were all connected with eachother

[khodorkovskaya]

13.03.23

yesterday was a very thought provoking day so i want to tell you guys about it! lots of stuff about growing up/coming of age, relationships, etc, all that good stuff!

so i went ice skating with my oxford/france bestie and my student as we do every sunday and it was so much fun! im getting more and more confident on the ice! and it was great, i love spending time with friends when we're doing something like an activity , like something with a purpose you know.

then we went to get hot chocolate as we always do and since my student's wife wasn't there, he spilled some tea! we started talking about relationships bc my london bestie was in town this weekend and her bf finally got his visa so he came to our town for the first time ever! it was his first time outside of the uk and his home country so we were all very excited! but anyway, we started talking about relationships bc to be completely honest with you, im not a fan of my bestie's bf, but i'll get to that in a sec. and my student said that he's only been in love 3 times in his life. when we asked him what about his wife, he said it's not really love as in romantic or sexual love, they're just really good companions. and... they've never had sex! which honestly kinda changes my perspective on their whole thing, but also not really. he said they've only ever done kink stuff together bc they're into latex and things like that. and since she's so much younger than him, he's never wanted to have sex with her. as he desciribed it, he's not a zizi kind of guy i.e. he's uninterested in sex in general. and yeah, ive always thought he was somewhere on the asexual spectrum and this confirmed it. anyway, that was a fun fact.

now back to my london bestie and her boyfriend, im not a fan of the guy frankly. he comes off as really uninteresting and they have this whole mother-son dynamic going on, i really don't get it. he's boring and unattractive and also probably asexual or maybe gay bc he's uninterested in sex with my bestie. so i was looking forward to seeing her and i was happy that her bf could finally come to our country, but i would've preferred it if i could talk to my bestie one-on-one without his company yknow? and then my bestie also messaged me saying that she invited another friend of ours to come hang out with us and again... i feel like such a bitch but the friend she invited is just... so uninteresting. the girl has no values and sure, she'll laugh at your jokes and talk about anything, but i can't stand her superficiality. every time i hang out with her i feel like im wasting my time.

so on my way to the bar i was already imagining all the dumb conversations we're gonna be having and how bored i was gonna be, already trying to make up excuses about how i could get myself out of this and go home and work instead of gargling air with two of the most uninteresting people i know. and i felt so shitty because i was supposed to be looking forward to seeing my bestie and i was supposed to be happy about her boyfriend's visa and i was supposed to be happy about seeing that other friend bc i haven't seen her in ages. but i was just dreading it so much oh my god. i don't know what it is. am i a bitch? am i pretencious and arrogant and do i think too highly of myself? i felt awful. and even my ed thoughts were coming up on my way there. i was like "ooo im skipping lunch today im gonna be so skinny yay". like wtf. i wanted to be happy about seeing my bestie but instead i felt guilty and just wanted to go home and work...

anyway, as anticipated, i was bored out of my mind... her boyfriend's attitude was pissing me off. i asked them what they've done these past two days, like what they've visited and what their plans were. and they said that they went to the old town, walked around the lake, ate at mcdonalds and drank wine. which is fine i guess but like... there's so much to do around here and so many things to see! you can have mcdonalds and wine in london and tbh the old town is not really worth visiting if you don't know anything about it, like it's just a couple of pretty houses, it's gonna be boring if you just walk around aimlessly. like idk if i had two days to show our city to someone who's never been, i would've done so much more idk. and then the bf was like "yeahhh this place is boring it's not for me" and when i asked him why, he said that it's because there are a lot of pubs in london and not a lot around here. like duh of course if your only priority is drinking ofc you're gonna be bored anywhere you go. idk that really annoyed me. plus they didn't even go out at night so he didn't even have a point of comparison. like sure, we don't really have pubs like as in english pubs, but we have a lot of cool bars and clubs and other fun night time activities. like i invited them to the disco on ice on saturday, which is sooo much more fun than drinking wine at home come on! but they said no! and our town is the boring one, all right!

then my bestie invited me over for dinner with her parents and her ukrainian friend. and as the night went on the more and more i kept realising that i don't have much in common with her anymore. and it was so heartbreaking bc we grew up together. we had so many integral life moments together but now it seems that they weren't so integral after all. and it sucks because no one else is gonna know what i was like growing up and it feels like such an important part of me. she's the only one who's seen this part of me and yet it has no importance anymore because we barely have anything in common now.

idk it sucks and there's not much to say. we have different lives, different views, different priorities... and i really felt like the odd one out because at the dinner table everyone was kinda on the same page (except for the parents bc they're getting divorced lol but that's another story). at one point bestie's mum asked me where i was at with my studies. she asked me if i still give language lessons and do catsitting and i was like not really. i have one student who's become a friend now and for the cats thing, if my neighbour asks me ofc im gonna help out. but im not actively looking for these kind of jobs like i did in highschool because duhh im an adult now and im working. and then the mum was like "yeah, you should stop doing that. let's find you a real job" and it really like... upset me. because what about our business? no one seemed to care or ask me any questions about it. "where's you shop again?", "you sell clothes???" like guyssss this has been my family's life for years now! and im pretty vocal about what we've been doing and the project we're working on. and yet no one cares. i don't know, it made me really upset. as if everything we've been working on is not serious. as if getting a "real job" is the only thing that matters.

i don't know, i feel like there's a lot to say but there isn't much to say... it's just that me and my bestie have grown apart. and it hurts. it hurts that i can't relate to her anymore. and i don't understand her lifestyle or her opinions or her way of viewing the world. no, i do understand. but it's so unlike me. we don't value the same things. and it sucks.

and then the ukrainian girl was talking about how she went to dubai and how it's the place to be and how she's looking for a husband. and again, i just cannot relate. and felt so left out. like i don't know, ive gone through so much these past couple of months and it's incredible. but i can't share it with anyone because no one cares. everyone has different priorities... my bestie has an office job she's comfortable at, her boyfriend complains about life and wants to move to canada to find himself, bestie's mum is leaving her husband to go live with her lover and worries about how because of the war in ukraine her job's been intense, the ukrainian girl is trying to find a husband in dubai meanwhile her hometown has been destroyed. and i... well.... i can't even explain it.

i suddenly felt really scared of being alone for the rest of my life. i remembered coming home to B and feeling like i had my person. it felt nice imagining that i was not alone because i had him. but ive always felt lonely with him. but coming home and cuddling with him was nice. im scared that i'll never find my person, someone who can see and understand me, all of me. for now the only people i can relate to are "weirdos" like my student and my oxford/france bestie. they're so much fun! but is this how it's supposed to be? how do i fit in with normal people? how do i become normal?

anyway, i walked home and cried and felt very alone.

and then i had a dream about B and how i came home and he wasn't there so i called him and said "i can't do this anymore, it's either me or [his business name]". i woke up feeling satisfied that i had finally said it. but it's too late now, our relationship can't be repaired. and i can't set any ultimatums anymore and make him choose, because i chose to leave. and he chose himself. and im gonna be alone.