#haven’t seen anyone post this one yet. the FEAR this made me feel

[twocutlines]

is anyone else scared

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: I've been late posting this entire series 😭. i explained a bit when anon asked, but i LOST my compression gloves and got a new pair relatively quick on top of my $200 medication 💔 my wallet is in shambles guys

ANYWAYS thank you all for sticking around and bearing with me!! i kiss and hug everyone!! even though i haven't responded to comments lately, i read every single one and it always makes me giggle ♥️♥️

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 5

The drive back to your university with your mom was excruciating. You hadn’t told anyone what’d happened which meant you had to keep a happy demeanor around them throughout the holidays up until now. Dread had settled in your stomach once the drive began and continued to spread the closer you got, similar to when you’re headed to the doctors or the dentist, just a million times worse.

Texting Ella and Sky had helped a surprising amount, turning the majority of your anxiety into rage. Ella was furious when she found out, so her fury, and Sky’s, quickly became yours.

They hyped you up, ready to be at your side and assist in tearing “that shitty fratfuck” to shreds. The support meant so much after everything, especially after the reality of it all set in; you’d seen the picture via snapchat from someone you didn’t know, so how many others had seen it?

Your worst fear was being seen as easy, being used like you were. But you weren’t, were you? Your friends had made sure to try and convince you otherwise, you had to give them that, yet even with the facts laid out in front of you, it was still hard to divert your thoughts away from that ever-looming self-doubt.

Seeing the campus come into view only served to solidify those thoughts and feelings. No matter what Sky and Ella had tried or are willing to do for you, it just wasn’t enough to fix what’s been done.

Your mom helped you bring your suitcase up to your dorm, giving you a tight hug and a kiss on the temple before saying goodbye and heading on her way. Playing okay around your family all winter break was exhausting, so you just chose to sit in silence on your bed instead of unpacking your stuff. Always prepared, you wanted to get here a few days early, using unpacking and settling back in as an excuse, when really you just needed time to collect yourself before the inevitable happened.

He was here, and you were sure he’d seek you out eventually once he spotted you, or maybe when one his friends did and the word made its way back to him. Whichever way it happened, you knew it’d be unfavorable. 

“Hey,” Ella’s voice from the doorway caught your attention, “you look miserable..” How hadn’t you heard the door open? 

“I am miserable, but uh.. let’s just pretend I’m not, okay?” You replied, barely cracking a smile as you glanced up at her. 

She gave you a weak laugh in return, letting the door close as she slowly sauntered over to you, plopping down right next to you on the edge of the bed. “Fine, yeah. You haven’t shown me your schedule yet, by the way.”

“Oh, right-” you paused to reach over and grab your bag, rifling through the various papers in there until finally pulling out the schedule you printed out a couple weeks back. “It’s mostly the classes that aren’t fun.” You stopped to look at your schedule for a brief moment before passing the paper over to Ella, who quickly snatched it from your hand.

She squinted dramatically, holding the paper only a couple inches away from her face. “Yeaaah, these aren’t the best. At least it looks like you’ll have the majority of your pre-reqs out of the way for next year though.” Her observation made you chuckle with a nod.

“Which is what I’m trying to do. Work myself to the bone now, chill out later.” 

“Don’t kill yourself trying to do everything in one fell swoop.”

“I promise I won’t Ella, this is just how I-” A knock on the door drew both yours and Ella’s attention away from each other, an immediate scowl settling on her face. You wanted to ask, but it seems she already knew what you were going to say, quickly shushing you in a hushed voice, “Sky won’t be here until tomorrow night. Don’t answer that.”

You paused, thought for a moment, then nodded once with pursed lips. Ella was a pretty serious person, the mom of the group you could say, so when she pulled that tone, you knew better than to test it. Besides, you didn’t want to see who or what was on the other side of the door, you needed more time.

The next day was a little better, if uneventful. You finally brought yourself to unpack your suitcase, a chance to reorganize everything since you’d gotten a few new things over the holidays. Ella stuck close, bringing food up and into your dorm to take advantage of the empty mini fridge while the two of you binge watched a few random movies.

You stayed cozied up in your bed, having already mapped out and memorized your walking path for each class; longer, less foot traffic to and from. All you had to do was get through the rest of this year, that’s all. Little extra walking never hurt anyone, right?

When classes actually started, the long and complicated walks actually worked for a time; no one gave you strange looks, no one tried to talk to you, and it was pretty quiet. Scenic. But everyone knows everything good must come to an end eventually, and of course it had to be when you were just starting to forget all of this mess.

He caught you between classes. Scenic walks backfired massively when you realized there wasn’t anyone else around on that part of campus. Guess you didn’t think this one all the way through.

You couldn’t help but notice he looked pretty roughed up, sporting a few bruises along his cheekbone, a split lip, and a healing black eye. Seems he’s been busy over winter break.

“Listen, please listen-” Leon pleaded, holding his hands out in a weak attempt to trap you in the hallway. All this did was make you even more uncomfortable. “I know what I did was wrong, but I was not the one who sent that picture around, I swear.” You just stood in place after a few tries to get around him, giving him an almost bored stare. He didn’t really expect to finally catch you, so he stumbled over his words as he continued to ramble.

“I-.. I’m so, so sorry for doing that to you,” he slowly lowered his hands back down to his sides once he was sure you’d stay to listen, “I know that what I did was terrible, and I mean it when I say that I am sorry. I wish there was a way to turn back time and undo it, but I can't. I can't even explain why I did it in the first place, but that's not an excuse. I just- I messed up big time and I was- am stupid for letting it happen.”

To you this seemed sincere, but you really couldn’t be sure and it was safe to assume it wasn’t. Leon managed to trick you for months, who’s to say this wasn’t a trick as well? 

Your look turned skeptical, crossing your arms tightly against your chest with a shaky breath. Despite handling this better than you thought you would, it was still nerve wracking having this kind of talk.

“I'm not good at this, but I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, if that's even possible..” Leon breathed out, panting as he tried to catch his breath after talking so fast. “I managed to uh-.. to find everyone who had the picture and I made them delete it.”

“I made them delete the picture.” He repeated, taking another moment to breathe before suddenly looking down to yank something out of his pocket. “I-I got your uh-.. these-” 

Seeing him hold up your panties so casually made you gasp, immediately looking around the hallway to make sure it was still empty before shooting him a glare, whispering a harsh “Put them back! Put them back!” which made him scramble to hide them in his pocket again. 

“Right- right, sorry! Sorry…” Leon was sweating at this point, growing increasingly anxious under your gaze. He didn’t want to mess this up any further, but man he was doing a pretty shitty job at that right now.

His hands were shoved into his pockets as well, both of you blushing with embarrassment, and also shame on Leon’s part. Once he managed to slow his breathing, he started to talk again, a noticeable frown tugging at the corner of his lips. “You don’t.. have to forgive me or anything, I just wanted to make sure you knew that hardly anyone knows and-” His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed dryly, turning his head to the side to look at the wall, “.. and that I’m sorry. I really do like you, I guess I just took a little too long to realize it…”

You made another quick glance over your shoulder before looking back at the man trembling in front of you who was still avoiding your gaze. You wanted to hate him so bad, so bad, but it was hard when all you could see was the Leon who was so sweet, the Leon who let you cry to him when the weight of the world was on your shoulders and made you feel so wanted and loved.

“Can we-” you cleared your throat and pulled the strap of your backpack further up onto your shoulder, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “Can we talk later, maybe? Like, in my dorm? I don’t want anyone overhearing any of this..”

Leon perked up when he heard you talk, pulling his hands from his pockets to nervously rake his fingers through his hair, which was now partially damp from the sweat beading off his forehead. “Oh- OH! Yeah, of- of course, yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t- I just needed to-”

You waved your hands in front of your chest, shutting him up so he didn’t spill any further. "And throw those away." He nodded silently, wiping a hand down his face until it settled right in front of his lips, probably knowing he was talking too much at this point. 

There was one more class you needed to go to that day, so you hurried off after telling him to wait outside your dorm until you were done, and he promised he would. Very adamantly, too. At least he held true to his words, standing in the hallway right in front of your dorm room like a lost puppy when you turned the corner. It was cute for a second, though annoyance quickly replaced that feeling as you walked over and let him in.

You weren’t exactly ready to have a full blown talk, but then again, no one ever was. What made it easier was your roommate never returned that semester, assuming she dropped out, so you basically had the whole dorm to yourself for the rest of the year. Or until someone had a roommate issue and needed a change. Didn’t really matter to you at that point.

There was really only one thing on your mind and that was getting Leon to explain this whole ordeal to you. You needed detail, clarification, anything to help you understand what’d been going on behind your back during that time. And he did, telling you just about everything he could; who suggested the bet, who roped him into the idea, the second guessings he had since the start, how he could’ve done literally anything else to avoid the way it all played out, everything.

Obviously you couldn’t just forgive him like that, even though he kept telling you how sorry he was and how terrible he felt about it. You wanted to forgive him, but you weren’t ready, and he understood that. He would’ve been satisfied with any response you gave him, so having been given the chance to really explain and have you listen was more than enough in his eyes.

“And just so you know, my friends aren’t going to let you off the hook,” you pulled your legs up so you were sitting criss-cross on the bed, looking across at Leon who was sitting on the bed opposite of yours.

“Yeah, I know..” he chuckled awkwardly, reaching a hand back to rub at the nape of his neck. “I was honestly expecting them to jump me, but they just give me evil looks whenever they see me.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, making a mental note to question Sky and Ella about that later. “You’ll never get nice looks from them again and I won’t be vouching for you.”

Leon nodded, silence blanketing the room as you’d finally run out of things to discuss. Though it was awkward, it was nice to have him hanging around again. “Anyways,” you started, standing up from your bed slowly as you vaguely gestured towards the door, “I need to study, sooo…”

“Oh, yeah, totally, uhm..” he followed suit, standing up from the other bed before sauntering over to the door as you held it open for him. He walked out and turned around almost instantly, a small smile suddenly appearing on his face once his eyes met yours, his arms jerking upwards slightly as if to suggest a hug.

“Don’t push it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627

(few of your blogs won't pop up, i tried though 😩)

[97keanu]

Please can you write something to do with young John and the ballerina kinda like a continuation for the smoking fic

Ah yes, the infamous shotgunning the cigarette fic… I have gotten a lot of requests for that one, and have tried a few times now to actually sit down and write for it, but haven’t had any luck in producing something that I thought was worthy of posting. I have been working on a bigger project for my writing, but seeing this ask today inspired me to finally come up with something to further this idea. I will link the original fic here as well if anyone would like to read that one first, but you don’t need to in order to read this one! Thank you for sending this ask in today, and believing in my writing enough to want to read more, it means the world to me <3

Premise: It’s been days since you last saw Jardani, and all you’re left with is the taste of his lips on yours, and the smoke of his cigarette in your lungs. That and the memories you two made together here in this place of shadows and secrets. You reflect tonight as you lean out your window of your room, a cigarette loose in your hand.

Tags/CW: young!john wick, ballerina!reader, smoking, yearning, love that blossoms where it should not grow, aching, melancholy, a unspoken connection, drabble 1.1k words.

It doesn’t taste the same, not without his softness breathing the smoke into your lungs, breathing life into your body that aches for more than this. The want inside you doesn’t burn anymore, not when he’s gone. It smolders.

You feel like a fire that was left out in the cold too long with no one to stoke it, and he’s only been gone a week. You knew that when you and Jardani shared that moment, you may never see him again. That he was on his way to getting out of this place, that he had become what The Director always wanted from him. A weapon. A tool. A dog that bites on command.

He would make her a lot of money, this much you knew.

Still, you sit against the window sill of your little crummy room, the walls here having seen more girls than you can imagine in it’s time, seeing them come here innocent, then turned into cold blooded killers like a stone overworked until smooth. The smoke from your cigarette thinly rises to the sky, the cold still chilling you to the bone, no one here to share that experience with. You remember when you first came here, first begun your trek into this underground world, ferried here as some forgotten child on the street. You met Jardani soon after, his stay having started when he was much younger than you, you were somehow lucky to begin your training at fifteen in comparison. Now, at eighteen, you wonder what your life could have been like without all this, without him…

Back then, everyone seemed like an enemy. You couldn’t trust any of the other ballerinas, they would take your spot as soon as you gave them the chance. When you were assigned to a new ballet The Director was producing, you wondered who your ballet partner would be this time. When a tall, lanky boy walked in, ordered to practice with you, you had no idea what to think of him at first.

He walked with poise, but his eyes didn’t seem to meet anyone’s. That was until, they met yours. You couldn’t help your heart thumping at that contact, of the thought of actually being seen after hiding yourself away for so long, trying not to give too much attention to anyone in fear that they would give too much attention to you. And yet, here he was, looking at you, really looking, observing you with those puppy dog eyes of his. Later you would realize those eyes had grown into that of a wolf, primed and ready to strike in a moments notice, but for now, he was still young, still figuring it all out.

He had figured out one thing then, which was that he didn’t wish to dance with anyone else after you.

When you two moved together, it was as if you anticipated each others next movements. You felt light as a the brush of cold snow on warm cheeks, barely there at all in his arms. Neither of you knew what that really meant back then, you didn’t ever really even speak to each other.

No, Jardani was the silent type, he always was. And you didn’t try to crack that shell of his, not by poking and prodding him with questions the way the other ballerinas may have tried. Everyone knew Jardani was one of the most skilled here, they wanted to know him better, wanted to know their competition. But you were never competing with him, you let him guide you when and where he wanted on his own terms, and he gave you the same. An alliance without a word said about it. It was as easy as breathing.

Soon enough, a year or two had passed that way, The Director obviously knowing that you two were made to be together on stage, and allowing you to mostly work together there. What you thought she didn’t know about, was when you left the small warmth of your room at night, traveling down the icy fire escape to the boy with sharp eyes waiting for you down below. You wonder now if that was why she sent him away. Was his work getting sloppy from thoughts of you filling his head? No, you could never kid yourself into thinking that, you never wanted to think about how he felt about you, it was safer to not think of what you had at all as being anything more than what it was.

An escape.

And escape you did. Into dark alleys where you said little, but shared the taste of each other’s breath. Finding something warm to cling to that just felt natural, easy, real.

Jardani never needed to tell you how he felt, his hands and eyes showed you, his lips caressed you, his teeth have tasted your flesh and you thought perhaps he may never let go. Now you wonder if he wanted to release you from between his teeth, and there is no way to find the answer in his eyes.

You take a long drag from your cigarette for a moment, holding it in, nowhere to alleviate this heaviness in your chest, not even when it billows out from your chest into the dark sky above.

God, would you ever even see him again?

Your stomach churned at the thought that maybe it wasn’t enough. All that training, all those years of pain and misery for nothing, for Jardani to walk out into that big world out there and get himself killed on his first mission…

You know that some of the others come back often, to talk with The Director about new work, but you also know that there are empty rooms that haven’t been filled since their owners went off for their first taste of blood, never to return.

“Please,” you whisper into the night air, the wind stealing your voice. “Let me see him again, I don’t care how, I don’t care when, but let me see him again…”

You feel as if you’re emptying your heart and soul into a cold, uncaring abyss that makes no promises. And yet, it helps ease the tension in your knuckles as you grip the window sill.

You sleep tonight wondering if he can feel your heart ache a million miles away.

Taglist: @emacarrigton @sunnythebunny7 @worldsgreatestsinner @discoscoob @nwheregirl @slutforsoliderboy @sebastianstanisahotmf @iovesia @brooxie3 @generalkenobee @desolatewrath

Feel free to ask to be added/removed from taglist!

[shiftingconfessions]

TW: venting/asking for help

I have known about the void state since 2020. I still haven’t entered it. I have gone through every single thing one talks about during their shifting journey and it’s still just cricket noises for me.

I have detached, taken a break, you name it, i have done it, sincerely. I have gone many, many countless nights without sleep for my shifting attempts. It feels like after doing everything and sometimes even just giving up has led me nowhere. I have had friends on the same journey who’d share their updates eventually all leave and while I am so happy for them i feel so incredibly lonely and now like i was made to sit on the front row to see them all flourish. I try to let this (this whole thing) go and move tf on but it’s so difficult and i am unable to.

I think it’s safe to say when you’ve been working on something for years and when it still doesn’t happen for you, it does something to you. Initially i obviously didn’t think this is how things would end up for me cause if i did, i’d most definitely not be here. I really regret wasting my precious years over this and genuinely just wish i could go back in time and start over. Even if i were to leave all social media platforms i’m still constantly reminded of my failure and it’s so upsetting.

I’m in my 20s in a toxic home, my parents emotionally manipulated me to stay back home and everyday I am reminded they only wanted me around for their own benefit and not because they love me “too much” to see me leave. There are many factors as to why I am still home but i know this doesn’t make me any different or special. However, I still can’t help feeling stuck, paralysed with fear trying to make any high risk decisions. Everyday i wake up with a heavy, aching heart. I have no appetite or when i’m too sad, i eat till i can’t. I can’t go to a therapist and vent about my situation cause i’m pretty sure i would be misdiagnosed and i’d feel out of control yet again.

All i want to do is enter the void and permashift to my dream life and be gone for good.

This is the only thing i’m hopeful about or i’m very much done from here.

If there’s anyone that can enter the void and affirm for me that i enter the void, please comment under this post and i could dm you. If not, I understand. Thank you for reading.

Side note: contrary to popular belief, I personally think affirming for others works for two reasons. 1. I have seen multiple people mention that they have affirmed for others and it has worked. 2. The void state has absolutely no limitations (realities discourse included)

.

[waitmyturtles]

Whew, WOW, OKAY. OOOHHHHKAY. THAT was a HELL of a ride. Double Savage, episodes 3 and 4 (but mostly 4). Long post coming. (Dang it. I did NOT KNOW THIS SHOW was gonna do me like this, meta-wise!)

[The alternate title of this episode should be, “SEE DAD? SEE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU ABUSE US?” (Just like that, in all caps, ha.)]

The reason why I say “us” in my proposed alternate title is because I realize that I haven’t addressed something in my previous write-ups about Double Savage -- namely, the psychological abuse that Korn and Win’s dad is committing towards the rest of his family, besides Korn.

We start episode 4 with a two-year jump, and dad Beng is as happy as a clam... with only one of his three children. He tells Win, “you’re the only child that I’m proud of.” Big sister Li stands next to her mother, clearly gritting her teeth, while Mom and Li clearly also think of Korn, who’s now been lost to them for a while. 

And we get the looped conclusion of the first episode, when the three siblings meet in the abandoned warehouse, with Li revealing to Win where Korn has been hiding. So we know that Li has been visiting Korn since the first time she broke into the warehouse.

Meaning: the sibling unit still exists, for now. But, the father has revealed something by what he says to Win. He DEMANDS of his family that they buy into his vision for a Korn-less existence, regardless of what it means to ANYONE around him. AND, he ALSO demands that they believe in his OTHER fallacies -- such as Win being the only child worth investing in. We can also acknowledge now that this family has been living without Korn for two years already -- and that’s certainly had to have tremendous psychological impacts on Li and the mom, and especially on Win, as he continues to grow into adulthood. Finally, we don’t know why Li is still living with her folks, if she’s dating, if she’ll get married, etc.

...or maybe we DO know why she’s still around. 

What is this vision that dad Beng has created for his family? That Korn shouldn’t exist, that he shouldn’t be around. That THE FATHER IS the patriarch.* That their unit will ALWAYS be led with his leadership. (We haven’t seen the mother confront the father, either yet or at all.) We see Li helping with the store, usually by her mother’s side. 

In other words, this family is led by fear first. It’s highly likely that Li has been raised with enough fear to feel very uncomfortable about even leaving the household, let alone seeking out her own independent life. AND, also highly likely -- her father has likely “let her know,” that as a woman, she probably can’t step out and achieve anything on her own.

Just a guess there, but I think we can take educated guesses with such an unbelievably harsh and abusive patriarch. 

(My *star up above indicates that there may be underlying commentary about Thai-Chinese patriarchal references that I may not be catching. We can hear “Hia” being thrown about all over the place, so, like Moonlight Chicken, we know that we’re dealing with a majority Thai-Chinese cultural background and read on the script. I wish I knew more about this slice of Thai culture. My own read on this patriarchal structure is coming from a more generalist Asian perspective.)

Anyway -- I haven’t even gotten to the meat of the episode yet, which is that we continue to see the disastrous and tremendous fall-out of the society and world around Korn, and the impacts of the choices he’s made since leaving his family house. 

First off, quickly: we see promises being broken. (Promises had already been broken all along, right? Shouldn’t parents love their children?) Win is going to break his promise to Korn because Win wants to be with Rung. Win gives Korn the heads-up -- and Korn accepts it. And Korn lifts Win on his back. Even though it’s LOVE THAT KORN HAS FOR HIS BROTHER -- that’s a weight on Korn’s back. Win will get the love that Korn has in Rung.

Win, then -- surprisingly to me -- asks Rung’s *parents* for *permission* to date Rung. In front of both families. My man, Win -- where’s the ring? Ha. I mean. Again, I may be missing something by way of a Thai-Chinese cultural read. But homey might have well asked for the horoscopes to set a wedding date. You really don’t do that until you’re ready to chat marriage. We see arranged marriages being a COMMON topic in Thai shows. And maybe -- that’s what Win wanted to get out of it? I’m not sure there.

Which is why, I think, we see Rung so pissed. Rung represents breaks from tradition. Remember what she said in episode 2, about her family not believing in superstitions around families and children? That they hold people back? Rung is a rebel. To be asked for her hand in dating, in front of her folks, without Win checking in with her in advance? She’s pissed. She knows exactly what this means. Someone else is doing her love work for her, and that is NOT going to fly with her.

Now, on the other hand, I DO WISH, dear Rung, I DO WISH you’d think a little before making rash decisions, ha. But. I can also understand why you hopped into Korn’s truck. You’re in love with Korn, and you haven’t seen him for two years.

You haven’t seen him for two years because his father drove him out of the family house. He had to leave school, leave you, and leave his beloved younger brother. Rung, therefore, has also experienced the trauma that Korn’s dad leveled to everyone around him. 

And now we get the coalescence of how this show becomes not just family trauma-driven, but community trauma-driven. When Rung opens the door of that truck and enters the world that Korn lives in now, she becomes a part of Korn’s continued traumatic life. And gets caught by the narcs, and gets blamed for the drug smuggling.

And we know that Hia Ah orchestrated her arrest. Because -- he’s the guy who ultimately knows how the world really works. He values his business and his money. Sure, he gives money to people around him. But he’s always needing a convenient fall person, and realizes that Rung is a good obstacle to use to avoid trouble. So he convinces the police -- somehow, someway, we don’t know yet the hows and whys -- to only catch Rung, and not arrest Korn. 

And the next thing we see in the preview is that Rung will now also become a runaway fugitive.

LITERALLY NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF KORN’S DAD LOVED AND PROTECTED KORN. LITERALLY.

I mean. What a resounding commentary on family and community trauma and abuse. And for Ah to have orchestrated Korn’s escape from arrest from within police ranks. It has King of New York written all over it, right? Shouldn’t the police also protect us? Instead, the police narced on THE WRONG SUSPECT, KNOWINGLY.

This show is now holding a TREMENDOUS amount of commentary on society and abuse, maybe a little messily, kind of like the early episodes of (omg, I can’t believe I’m writing this in a Double Savage review) Bed Friend. There’s a hell of a lot of trauma going on. We want Rung to please make wiser decisions. But, BUT: I have to remember that she’s now also suffered trauma vis à vis Korn’s dad, too, so she’s not entirely to be blamed for her decisions. 

And unfortunately, we’ll likely see the cookie continue to crumble next week, when Win confronts Korn. Remember: it’s not Korn’s fault that he escaped arrest. But, Win and Rung will need a fall guy. Korn’s dad needed a fall guy. Korn has always been that fall guy. And he damn well knows it. He knows that’s been his role in his life so far, so why would it not continue?

Ah -- wildly, Ah -- is actually changing that paradigm for Korn to an extent, by having Korn avoid arrest. I want to see where that goes. I LOVE the messing up of this paradigm. Because while Ah is the true criminal -- he’s also the biggest truth-holder here, and I want to know how that gets unwound as more truths come out. How did it end up in Korn’s life that Ah is protecting him, while Korn’s dad is not? HOW? How could that possibly happen in a human’s life? 

It happens all the time in trauma-impacted families and communities.

WOW. UM! Kinda wish someone told me that this shit was gonna get THIS DEEP! (Reminds me of how Bed Friend punked us with those early previews. Did I bring up Bed Friend again? Oh good lord.) Just like in 10 Years Ticket, Ohm is carrying a trauma-filled storyline and Ohm/Perth/Film are destroying it together. This is a great show so far. Maybe because of Bed Friend, I have more trust in these shows holding all this trauma and making a success out of it. Fingers crossed.

[steampunk-swift-arrow]

Fanfic: F-it! Un-Tom King's Your Riddler!

(Since AO3 has been down due to attacks, here's a fic that I wrote a while back and just haven't posted yet)

Summery: I really hated Tom King’s Riddler origin story so I wrote my own. Skips over the actual origin and just talks about the current time. Somewhat hurt/comfort

Warnings: mentions of cancer, chemotherapy, and fear of death.

Characters: Riddler and Batman

Word count: 2090

“Hey, my daughter really liked that last one,” the guard bringing him lunch informed him. “‘What’s got a bottom at its top?’ She’s been running around saying it and shouting out ‘Legs’, real cute.”

Edward was a flight risk, his cell was never allowed to be opened. It felt demeaning to sit at the door and then pull in the tray of food like an animal. “I thought the cleverness of that one might resonate with some people,” he commented. “She sounds like a smart little girl.”

“She is,” the guard was more than happy to talk about his daughter for a minute. A proud father. Edward was a little envious. “Got any others like that? Y’know, dirty but like kid-dirty. She loves a good fart joke.”

“I can’t say that any springs to mind but I’ll think on it,” Edward told him. “I don’t have much else to do right now.”

~-~-~

“A straightjacket? Really? Commissioner Gordon, I feel I should remind you that I have a history of escaping those, in case you actually expect that to work, I don’t want to disappoint you,” Edward said as he eyed the white jacket. Why was it always white? Was it really too much for them to make straight jackets in colors?

Arkham put him in one often enough he was pretty sure they owed him a fully customized one, green with purple accents and an actual challenge to escape. Maybe he’d have it made and sent to them for next time.

As much as he was annoyed with the jacket, at least it wasn’t a tranq gun or knock-out drugs.

“We’ll start with rubber bullets,” Gordon said.

“That won’t be necessary, I have no intention of fighting you,” Edward assured him. “I’d very much like to talk to Batman, if you’d be so kind as to call him.”

Gordon paused and seemed to study him for a second. “I’ll call him if you agree to wear the straightjacket,” he bargained.

Edward sighed. He really didn’t want to let someone get close enough to put that on him, not right now, but there wasn’t an actual choice. “I accept your terms,” he agreed.

He was definitely going to be late for his appointment and he desperately needed it.

~-~-~

It wasn’t fair. The treatment was supposed to help him but it left him feeling just as tired, if not more tired, than when it started. It took every fiber of strength that he had, more than he thought he even possessed, to try to hide the pain and fatigue he was going through. He didn’t want to appear weak in front of Batman. He’d even over-done it on the green makeup so that it would hide the bags under his eyes.

He was idly playing basketball when he heard the tell-tale woosh of a cape off to the side of the court. Batman had arrived.

“Gordon said you wanted to talk with me,” Batman said, unmoving from the shadow he’d found.

Edward let the ball roll back over to him and picked it up. “I did, I do,” he answered. “I-...” he stopped, finding himself unable to say what he wanted -no, needed- to say.

“If you’re at a loss for words, it must be something big,” Batman stated.

“Something like that,” Edward muttered, playing with the ball again. He didn’t feel that he had the strength to throw it but he could still dribble it or just hold it.

“I was also told that after Gordon called me the first time and asked me to meet you here, you escaped with a desperation he’d never seen in you or anyone before,” Batman continued. “He said it was like your life was at stake. You’ve been behaving oddly well according to the guards at Arkham. I’m told you normally drive them crazy with mind games or escape your cell just to mess with them, but you haven’t at all during your last stay.”

“I’ve told a few riddles,” Edward shrugged. “One of the guards said his daughter’s been getting into them, I made up some for her.”

“Making up riddles for a kid is not the same as your usual brand of crazy.”

“I suppose not. Can we move this conversation over to the benches?”

His body felt like he was about to drop over, he was glad Batman followed him to the benches so he could sit down and get the pain to lessen.

“There’s no easy way to put this and not many people to ask how to, but…” Edward paused and sighed. “I’m quitting the whole crime thing.”

Batman seemed surprised by that.

“It was fun, telling riddles to lead you to my next crime, throwing obstacles in your path to slow you down but knowing you would still be right behind me, knowing that any person who was involved was safe because you wouldn’t let them be hurt, the priceless items I stole, and of course the attention of media, it was all fun.”

“But you’re quitting?”

“It’s been losing its charm, the pattern has become a rut. I can’t… I don’t want to fall into a rut like that.”

Batman was quiet for a second. “You’re in pain,” he observed. Even resting, the pain was catching up with him, he had as good a chance of not getting caught by Batman as he had of escaping the pain. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

“Yes,” Edward admitted. “And not just in my usual way. A good therapist can’t help with this, not that there are any of those in this city. Thankfully we have several dozen hospitals, I was able to find help in one of them but I’m not sure it’s working.”

Just rip off the bandaid and say it. Quick and painless. It doesn’t have to be drawn out.

“I… I have cancer,” Edward said, finally telling someone about it for the first time. “Stage three, it’s not looking all that promising.”

He didn’t even need to look at Batman to know that he moved closer, he felt his presence next to him on the bench in an instant.

“It’s hard to get treatment and be a super criminal, I suppose,” Batman muttered. “That’s why you decided to quit and wanted to see me, right?” he checked.

“Part of it, yes,” Edward answered. “Look, the doctors said it doesn’t look good, they told me to get my affairs in order. Easiest task I’ve ever done, I don’t have loved ones to call, I know the police are just waiting to seize everything I have and lock it all away in an evidence locker, no one would really care if I died… except for maybe you and the daughter of a guard at Arkham. If anything else, I figure you were the most fun to interact with so if I had to tell anyone, it might as well be you.”

“I had a friend growing up, he lost his mother to cancer, we drifted apart over the years but I vividly remember the struggle she went through before passing, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone in the entire world, no matter who they are or what they’ve done.”

“I’m not a good person, I always figured I’d die from someone getting revenge, from pissing off another rogue or a hero who doesn’t have a no-kill policy, something that would be quick and deserved. But this… this is nothing like that. It’s slow, it allows for time to tie up loose ends, and while it’s slowly breaking down my body, it’s killing my mind. Even if I wanted to continue to be a criminal, I literally can’t. I tried to do a crossword while in chemo today and just couldn’t do it. Some rogues can do the spontaneous criminal work but that’s just not who I am…”

“As much as I want to see you give up being a criminal, I want it to be because you decide to try a different path in life, not like this,” Batman said.

“I know I always said I didn’t care about death, that if I died I’d finally solve the greatest riddle of all but…” Edward trailed off as he tried hard not to start crying. “I… I’m scared.”

“I know. I’ve faced death enough times myself to know the feeling. But you can relax because you’re not dying.”

“How can you be so confident?”

“Because if you die, who’s going to provide me with the challenge that you think I need? Who’s going to take your place? The Joker? Jokes and riddles are similar but not that similar.  You said yourself, you’re not a good person, but you could be. Remember how you were a private investigator for a while?”

“I have a near perfect memory, or at least I did before the cancer, of course I remember.”

“That just proves you could be a good person. You never killed anyone, scared them mostly but you said you knew I’d save them.”

“I’m really not sure what you’re trying to say anymore.”

“You’re not dying because I won’t let that happen,” Batman said. “I know some of the best doctors in the world and out of it, I know people who can literally do magic, you’re not going to die. After you beat cancer, which you will, we can talk about the whole quitting thing again.”

“You seem awfully confident,” Edward said with a slight hum. “Just in case you’re wrong, can I ask for a small favor? I promise to take it to my grave.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve had a hunch for years and I want to know if I’m right. Who are you under the mask?”

Batman was still for a minute, long enough Edward figured he was probably waiting for him to start talking about something else and move away from the identity thing. To his surprise, Batman simply pulled the mask away like it was the hood of a jacket.

“I was right,” Edward uttered in shock. “You’re Bruce Wayne.”

“You figured it out before, I figured the likelihood of you getting it right the second time was high enough I can just tell you. Besides, I know you’re not going to do anything with the information.”

“Because I’m dying.”

“No, because what good is a riddle that everyone knows the answer to?”

“I suppose that’s also a good point,” Edward hummed.

“Edward,” Bruce began. Without the cowl, he sounded completely different, like his voice and mannerisms were also part of his mask. “I know you think no one would care if you died but you’re wrong, there are people who care about you, I care about you, and I’m going to prove it to you.”

~-~-~

In the months that followed that, both men researched as much as they could to find any form of a cure, the cancer continued to get worse.

During that time, Edward had put together collections of his riddles into books and published them: ‘1,001 Riddles for Young Geniuses’ and ‘the Riddler’s best Riddles’. He signed a copy of the first one and sent it to the guard for his daughter, he didn’t see anyone’s reactions but he was told by Bruce that they were thrilled.

Bruce walked into the hospital room where Edward was currently reading a book while doing chemo, an IV tube hooked into his arm and slowly releasing the medication. In order to keep a low profile, Bruce had put on a ‘disguise’, mainly glasses and an outfit he wouldn’t normally wear in public.

“That’s your idea of a disguise?” Edward asked with a slight laugh.

“Don’t knock it, it’s actually a really good one, I learned it from a friend of mine,” Bruce said. “Clark used to confuse people all the time whenever he lost his glasses, you’d be surprised how big a difference they can make.”

“I highly doubt people are actually going to fall for-”

A nurse walked in to check on something and paused, looking straight at Bruce. “Hello, who might you be?” she asked.

“A friend,” Bruce answered. “Just wanted to come see how my friend’s doing. You’ll need a ride home after this, right?”

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Edward agreed. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Bruce waited until the nurse left and they were alone again. “I think I found a cure.”

“There’s no cure, I’ve been looking.”

“You’ve been looking at the records of scientists, I went beyond that,” Bruce corrected him. “Have you ever heard of the Lazarus Pit?”

[eldritchsurveys]

1250.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? >> I don't have a dog at all. I am not afraid of large dogs, I grew up with them and am quite accustomed.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? >> Sure. This common belief that you have to say it back and if you don't it's a grave insult or means you are not in any way interested in the other person is incredibly silly.

Who is your favorite photographer? >> Taysa Jorge is one. I actually have others that I like even more but I don't remember their names; I actually started keeping an Obsidian file of my favourites in various categories (like photographers, artists, types of plants, etc) because I would get questions like this and be like "AAAGHHH I can't REMEMBER" but unfortunately that's a rather recent file so it hasn't been fully populated yet. Were you shy in high school? >> I wouldn't say that.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? .

Do you actually love your parents? >> There is no love shared between me and my parent.

Do you know anyone autistic? >> I do.

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? .

Do you like Polaroid photography? >> It's fine.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? .

Do you have any gay family members? .

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? >> I would not be upset in the slightest if someone I was involved with watched porn. Can't imagine why I would be, either.

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? . Were you raised by someone other than your parents? >> I was not.

What’s the last chore you did? >> Put the trash bin out for collection.

What is your favorite jungle animal? .

Is your father injured? .

Are you part Native American? >> Possibly. It doesn't matter, though.

What are your pets’ names? .

Have you ever worked two jobs? .

Would you ever get a face tattoo? >> Probably not.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? . What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? >> Let's not even go down that rabbit hole.

Who have you most feared in your life? >> Various family members.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? >> I value bodily autonomy above many things and I also think children should primarily be had by people who want them and can provide for them. They should not be brought into existence by coercion or force.

What one natural thing would you most like to see? >> Everyone has been going on about the aurora borealis lately and I'm so aggravated that I sleep at night. I always think that they won't be visible where I am anyway because of light pollution which made me feel better about missing out on them because I need to fucking sleep but last night someone posted a shot from an intersection 10 minutes' walk away from me. So. Fuck me, I guess.

Do you like the game Tetris? >> Meh.

What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? >> Exist.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? >> I have not. Do you like your name how it’s spelled? >> Sure.

Who was your first online friend? .

Do you know anyone who has road rage? >> Not personally.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? >> Mildly. Which is still too much, but.

Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? >> I have not. What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? >> I am autistic and I have CPTSD. No one needs to officially diagnose me with either of those, it's pretty glaringly obvious that I have them.

Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? .

[steviescrystals]

stream of consciousness rant bc i’ve been having one of the worst weeks of my life <3 feel free to ignore if you don’t care i just need to get my thoughts out

for context if you haven’t seen my other sad rambling posts recently, i got laid off from a job i loved this week and was given zero explanation as to why (and was specifically told i did nothing wrong). word of advice from someone who gets attached to things very easily: please don’t ever make a job your entire life, especially if you are young like me and you don’t plan on turning it into a long-term career. i made the mistake of letting a huge part of my identity and self-worth get tied up in this job, and now that i’ve lost it, i’m pretty much spiraling. onto the rant!

the cool thing about something bad happening when you have a paranoid personality is that on top of all the typical feelings this bad thing would cause for a normal person, it also just reinforces your paranoia. like, just when you think you’re becoming more self-aware and getting better at realizing when your fears are irrational, this bad thing you’ve been worrying about actually happens, and it fucks you up. because there you were thinking “i’m scared this is going to happen, but logically i know i have no reason to think that, it’s just my brain telling me to freak out when i don’t have to” and then it turns out you were right to be scared. and every fucking time (for me, at least) it leads you down this path of “well i was right about this thing, so clearly my fears ARE justified and these things i’m always freaking out about ARE likely to happen” and the stress and anxiety just gets so much worse. i spent so much time telling myself i was being irrational and had nothing to worry about (and everyone around me told me the same thing) and yet it happened anyway. i have a friend who once told me i spend too much time overthinking and dwelling on the negatives, and consequently i manifest bad things happening to me / manifest myself being miserable (side note: maybe not a constructive thing to say to someone with depression and anxiety, i know she meant well but this did very much hurt my feelings at the time). so now i feel like i’m just questioning everything so much and wondering if i somehow brought this on myself simply because i spent so much time worrying about it. but at the same time, how am i supposed to stop that when it was never intentional in the first place? everyone’s always saying you have to change your mindset, but i don’t know how to control these thoughts. i thought i was doing all i could by telling myself when these thoughts came up that i wasn’t thinking logically, but clearly it wasn’t enough because the thoughts kept coming and the bad thing happened and now i don’t know what to do or how to move forward. i feel like i’m second-guessing everything in my life and my already not-great mental state has taken a massive hit in the space of two days. i don’t really know what point i’m trying to get across here or if anyone will even read this, but i’ve just felt like i’m drowning in my thoughts and i don’t want to put all of this on anyone i know irl, but i had to get it out of my brain. if you did read this far and you related to this mess of a post in any way or have any advice, please let me know. i’d really just like to not feel so alone in this right now :)

[ntriani]

WHO KNOWS WHERE THE TIME GOES? Fast Forward/Rewind As the decade draws to a close, many are trying to fathom what just happened over the last ten years. Be it cultural, political or the climate catastrophe that most conscientious types realise they find themselves in, the past decade might be remembered as an introduction to what may be our most challenging times here on earth. In layman’s terms – we are in the midst of a climate emergency.  As The Clash once warned – the ice caps are melting at an alarming rate, the planet’s heating up – and we’re not doing enough to stop it.

The diagnosis is critical, yet most of western privileged society just shrugs with an uninterested uneasiness born out of a selfless need for non-reflection, a simmering vacuousness of staring into the void and merely asking “isn’t there anything good on Netflix I could watch so I don’t have to face this reality?” The need for escape is exemplified by our own immersion into the internet and the virtual pleasure or pain that belongs to someone else.

My main take-away from the last decade could be about screen addiction, at least in the sense of what I can see from my own environment. This particularly relates to me being a culture junkie and most of the culture I obsess over has moved online. Over the last ten years I simply haven’t been able to get enough of that light, those words, that browse, the fear of missing out on the latest tweet, FB update, email, news headlines and of course, the biggest attraction: my own virtual social engagement. So many of us have become the arbitrators not only of our own cultural worlds, but political opinion combined with a great capacity for trolling and nastiness. The internet is an outlaw land and creates its own web (ouch!) of intrigue, opinion, controversy or simply bat-shit craziness. It’s this wild cacophony of noise that keeps us hooked, a place where YOU can have a voice (even if no one is really listening). Yes, I’m hooked (though increasingly growing weary.)

Boomtime is over As the decade ends social media as a time consuming phenomenon wanes for me, while at the same time I am aware that the internet has become a routine part of nearly every aspect of my life. I have a peace of mind now that I don’t stress if I haven’t posted anything on one of my many social media platforms. Social media’s decade-long sprint to offer a consumerist paradise has merely hastened my move for the shutdown button. I prefer to live in the moment now rather than documenting that moment. Ironically, the fast sprint of social connectivity has made me more remote and less willing to share and connect.

Of course, as I get older and the looks fade and certainly as regards a platform such as Instagram, I have become less comfortable in my own skin, a development I don’t really feel like sharing with the world. Did anyone ever mention the visual vanities of older lives? They should, it’s a heartbreaker. More vivid pursuits inform me nowadays. Time spent with my family have become the best of times, though my family will probably attest to me being still addicted to screens. I have no particular vice or drug habit, I eat healthily and don’t really drink, I’m proud of my clear-headed sobriety. I merely spend time with the things that interest me most. This is the privileged life of a white-passing +50 male. I have become extremely selfish with my time. 

Calling it out A new development has seen a general consensus driven by public opinion becoming our barometer of what classifies as the word of the day. For me the past decade has seen standards become lowered to a simple classification of; “if enough people like something, then it must be good” (the reverse of this premise also applies). Mixing commercial revenues with quality of endeavour is something that has become heightened, at least in most MSM. It’s more escapism with an extra dose of dumbing down. Yes, an elitist view perhaps, but I won’t apologise for calling out something that is truly dreadful or politically odious, especially if that something’s only merit is being popular. We have accepted capitalism as high art or as our only aspiration. Popular opinions define critical consensus, yet if we lose the ability to take on or offer criticism, worryingly we lose our capacity to discuss or communicate. Despite our supposed hi-speed connectivity, I have finally come to the pessimistic conclusion that this past decade has been one long communication breakdown.

This sporting life As a fan of nearly 50 years, I can revel in Tottenham Hotspur’s general improvement as a football team; it’s been a highlight of my decade – Spurs’ competitiveness. Football has become all-enveloping for me. I ignore the obvious, devious and evil commercial aspects of the beautiful game and give into my innate state of tribalism (I really never knew I had it in me.) Come match-day (which is ever frequent) my passion knows no bounds and I am lost in the increasingly intense revelry of the sport. Yes, football has become more intense, the pressure often unbearable; the increased speed of each game, the superstars, the global reach all entwine in my mind to create the perfect 90 minute exaltation of personal release. So two of my highlights of this decade have been Mauricico Pochettino and Harry Kane. Football as full throttle escape has been essential to me, an escape as much from the daily grind but also an escape from the intensity of my partner’s chronic illness.

It’s all about numbers Music has intensified as the main line that runs through my veins both professionally and as cultural recreation. The way we consume music and interact with music has been as much a talking point this past decade as the music itself (which is a bit sad), but as a music consumer I feel it’s never been so good. A purist music culture still thrives even though an over-reliance on numbers and stats to justify success often overshadows any perceived artistic accomplishments. 

For all the knowingness of pop music in 2019, music culture has mourned the passing of Prince, David Bowie, Aretha Franklin, Scott Walkerand others because they dared to dream; artistic choices were simply de rigueur and not based on any commercial aspirations. Rare exceptions such as Beyoncé’s Lemonade and Kanye West’s My Dark Twisted Fantasyalbums cut across cultural lines to become something more meaningful, helping pop-music reclaim the critical consensus and capture the spirit of the times. 

Still, for me popular music has become a slightly duller place over the last decade, with risk aversion and social media compliance an essential part of making it. In simple terms I started listening to a lot of old music and relishing the freedom of jazz as a form of expression. If anything dates me, it’s this. Sic Alps final album tapped into my own inner sadness and seemed to reflect feelings that were closer to home. An increasingly important record for me personally and one that captures a world-weary mood music of the 2010s – Sic Alps surmises my musical direction and word-view these past ten years. I regress to my inner child Reading books has become a chore for me. Fiction has fallen by the wayside, but this has been increased by my becoming a near full-on digital reader. The literal printed page has virtually disappeared from my grasp. Most of my physical book reading has been in the service of my child. Harry Potterand Lord of The Rings have taken the limelight, but my still alive inner child has secretly thrilled at these works. Graphic novels have been a regular staple: too many to mention but Pat Mills’ Charley’s War reigns above most. To emphasise my move to the virtual, The Guardian online has been a constant companion. It’s my first port of call everyday and of course more than anything fuels my screen time. As an outlet for free online journalism with balanced reporting and great writing, it remains peerless. 

But a certain sorrow and even guilt accompanies my abandonment of physical books (the digitisation process has impacted most cultures important to me.) Technical progress feels more impersonal and this decade’s rush to digitise has increased the sense of commercial possibilities in exploiting hi-art. My old punk heart is weary as much as wary, scrolling on my phone has replaced reading a well thumbed paperback novel on any journey I take nowadays. The passing of the silver screen In 2010 I was still spending as much as I could afford on DVDs and along with my Sight and Sound subscription; cinema, film history and the writings of David Thomson and others fuelled a passion for film. Hell, me and my partner even went a little crazy and started a very active movie-blog, which let’s be honest, probably helped give us an idea for you know what.

The home movie streaming revolution, pioneered by Netflix, again gives us pause for thought for the issue of more screen time. As life becomes increasingly busy and tiring, Netflix has offered even more simple escapism that has impacted further on our own social behaviour.  TV streaming handily also supplied a his and hers menu which rarely crosses over into mutual gender lines and impacted negatively onto shared time with my partner. We still watch things together, but we have so much more to consider nowadays, tailored to our own individual wishes and desires. The dividing lines on streaming culture has developed a new phenomenon for couples addicted to binge watching (and no doubt more scrutiny on fragile relationships).

But Netflix and HBO (and increasing others) have also managed to deliver some genuinely startling art beamed straight into our living rooms. Twin Peaks: The Return bettered most cinema and TV over 18 slow episodes of small screen nirvana. Cut from similar cloth but equally mind-blowing was Damon Lindelof’s The Leftovers, a three season series that deals with loss and stays with you and never quite leaves.

But the biggest cinematic achievement of the decade away from the small screen has been the relevance of the franchise (a TV serial for the big screen if you like) and especially the all-conquering power of the superhero movie, from Marvel’s slick, witty Avengers universe to the polarising populism of this year’s Joker. Martin Scorsese, not sounding like one of his onscreen streetwise characters, rounded off the decade by decrying the success of Superhero films and describing them as anti-cinema. The authority of Scorsese’s quotes mixed with the fawning love for his new, overrated film also displayed the privilege a director like Scorsese is afforded due to his reputation. It’s our own perceptions of quality and nostalgia for Scorsese’s CV that gives his words such authority, even if I think some of the films he’s criticised have far exceeded the quality of his own work.  

I make the connection with reputation and white male privilege because cinema suffered its greatest fall this decade, with the emergence of the #metoo movement and a greater call for equality between men and women in general. #metoo chimed with an awareness for feminism in the 2010s, a development that has jump started the process of change towards women receiving overdue equal billing not only in the workplace, but at home. 

The universal lurch to the right What has defined this decade for me has been the increased and unopposed shift to a right-wing ideology throughout many nations of the world. Conservatism with a small c has given way to an array of populist theories that often result in racism with a capital R. An increase in the  harbouring of natural resources often against the needs of the planet and the greater good. Keeping the establishment and their capitalist values in place, the rightwing thinking lobby have exerted greater control, often using the seemingly liberal tag of ‘freedom of expression’ to legitimise overt criticism of being racist or just talking shit about minorities or even attacking an overtly critical media. Under such guises and hammering home a continued, legitimised worldview against ‘the other’ in our societies has now become the norm rather than something that should be a source for feeling deep shame. The rhetoric of this decade has made many of our communities divided – and destroyed that essence of community itself. Trust in leadership has become an issue like never before. From the populism of Trump to the logical conclusion of the Nigel Farage/ Boris Johnson axis, which fuels division and hatred, extreme views and opinions nowadays reflect our society and sense of humanity. Erdoğan, Orbán, Bolsonaro, Italy’s Salvini and Finland’s Finns Party;  the trend in right wingers gaining political power seems irreversible. How did we get here? Does anyone really know? A heightened awareness of my own Brexit fuelled vulnerability have made these the most uncertain of times. I’ve noticed a subtle shift with a more  normalised racist expression toward me and my family during this period. In Finland I feel alone in having to try and combat these situations, even amongst my most liberal associations. As Jeremy Corbyn is crushed by electoral defeat in the UK, recriminations and humiliation end the decade with me feeling we’re in an unsafe place. As political tribalism sinks the centre ground we all search for our own visions of extremism that we can place our own ideological hat on. Compassion and solutions have to be our way forward, yet we’re still arguing with big business and corporations about being fair and creating safe climate environments for future generations. Self-interest has won the day.

Movements such as Extinction Rebellion, Momentum, Occupy Wall Street, #metoo, Black Lives Matter, Wiki-Leaks and Anonymoushave offered us some hope and often questioned this era defining status quo. This last decade represents a new era of protest, a new voice, a reactivated youth movement that expresses shared values and the concerns of all ages. A new level of responsibility, a real taking back control. We need more Greta Thunberg and less Rudy Giuliani in all our lives. An uncertainty at home to add to the feeling of international insecurity has permeated much of this most immediate passing decade. My dearest and nearest have been the barometer by which I have to measure our progress. With a chronic illness in the close family not only defining our day to day routines, my partner’s illness has come to define how I am viewed by others. Increased public recognition of my partner’s condition has cemented a new public picture of who I am. That’s often hard to take, but I am now regarded by many as the partner of a cancer patient. Sympathy for my own new condition is widespread. My own ageing and the toll it’s taken, both physical and mental, has only contributed to a personal feeling of lack of relevance whilst bringing more awareness of my own sense of mortality. My only response to this decade of freewheeling doubt and extreme movements is to keep the ones I love near me and never let go. 2020 finally sounds like The Future. Let’s hope a new positive dialogue, face to face, can develop amongst all the other ideas. 

[star-girl69]

We Do Not Wilt - Chapter Four - We Do Not Drown

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!FemOC

a/n: i added this chapter in bc i felt like it was weird for may and daemon to be married and be such high ranking royals without at least TRYING for an heir, you know? this chapter is of course really triggering, but i also just wanted to get the point across how deeply may is intertwined with the ideas of duty and honor. she feels it is her duty to give daemon an heir, so she’ll keep trying no matter how much pain it brings her. as always i hope you all enjoy!!! (also i apologize this chapter is so short, i’ll be posting another shorter one later today to make up for it!!)

warnings: mentions of blood, death, miscarriage, child loss, suicidal ideation (??? that might not be the right term for it), i think that’s it??

—-

Lady May looked out the window. She heard the shuffling of servants behind her. It had been nine years since Laenor and Rhaenyra’s wedding. Even longer since her and Daemon’s.

Yet no children blessed their union.

“The remains are being taken to the Maester’s, My Lady. We shall take our leave now.”

May made a sound of acknowledgment. The maids gathered themselves and left, leaving only the sound of curtains flapping in the wind. May closed the balcony doors, and the noise stopped. The room was empty now.

This was the third child she had lost prematurely. She wasn’t sure if she could continue it any longer. She hadn’t called anyone. Not Alicent, not Daemon.

Alicent pitied her too much. Daemon worried too much.

Tears fell down May’s face.

The door opened again.

“I told you, that will be all.” She sniffled, trying to pull herself together. Trying to sound strong.

“I haven’t even done anything yet,” She could hear Daemon’s smirk. She didn’t want to face him. Not yet. “How is my lady wife doing?” He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her stomach. At this point, she still looked pregnant. The swelling hadn’t gone down, and wouldn’t for a few weeks. May often thought that was the worst part. Walking around with an empty home inside of you. “I hope you haven’t given your sweet mother too much trouble, little dragon.”

If she hadn’t lost the baby, she would have smiled. Laughed, even, turned around and kissed him. Maybe the baby would have kicked. And Daemon would kiss her stomach, making some comment about how this child will be the most fearsome dragon the world has ever seen.

But her baby was dead.

“I failed you,” May whispered, letting the tears fall more freely. Daemon’s arms tightened around her, confused.

“You could never fail me, my love. Tell me, what makes you think this?” She pulled away from him, stepping towards the vanity. A sob ripped through her.

“My- my womb. It will not grow our children.” Her eyes fixed on a spot of blood on the floor. It was small, the maids must have missed it. His eyes followed his wife’s.

He stepped forward, grabbing her waist and spinning her around.

“You have not failed me.” He repeated. “I would rather have you than 10 children.” She scoffed.

“You want an heir. You want a legacy. You do not want to be forgotten. All men fear death, husband.”

“The only thing I fear is losing you.” His nose slotted next to hers, pulling her close. His hands were tender around her waist, drawing small circles. “I will make this better for you. Tell me how.”

May lifted her face to look at him. She smiled softly. There was nothing he could do.

—-

Caraxes was always a welcome sight. The dragon keepers brought him out, and he perched on a hill, overlooking a small bundle on a pile of wood.

The funeral was small, as all her children’s were.

She took a step back, placing one last kiss to the canvas that contained the remains. She imagined it was a real baby. Happy, healthy, with a dragon egg by her baby’s side. He would be fearsome. He would ride the world as if it was his dragon. She turned around, took her place next to Alicent. Viserys smiled kindly at her. She couldn’t return it.

She felt Daemon’s eyes on her.

“Dracarys.” His voice was hoarse.

And Lady May watched as her child burned.

She wanted to join.

—-

“Alicent, I-“ May stopped. “Oh, Princess Rhaenyra. Ser Laenor.” She looked upon the baby in Rhaenyra’s arms. “Congratulations!” Her mouth was a tight line. That should be her. The Princess smiled in pain.

“What happy news this morning,” Viserys proclaimed, walking in behind May.

“Indeed, Your Grace.” Laenor smiled, a proud father. That should be Daemon. May stood next to Alicent, who grabbed her arm in a comforting manner.

“Where is he? I wish to hold my grandson,” He took the babe in his arm. “A fine Prince,” He praised. “Sturdy. You’ll make a fearsome knight.”

“Does the babe have a name yet?” Alicent asked, as May looked away from everyone.

“We haven’t spoken-“

“Joffrey.” Laenor interrupted his wife. “He’ll be called Joffrey.”

“That’s an unusual name for a Velaryon,” Alicent mused.

“I do believe he has his fathers nose,” Viserys smiled, handing the child back to Laenor. Alicent stepped forward, cooing over the child.

“Lady May, would you like to hold him?” Rhaenyra asked, smiling kindly. May smiled back, and Laenor handed the babe to her. She looked down at him. This should be her child.

But she could not fault Rhaenyra for her fertility. She could not fault the child for being born. He was quite adorable, she supposed. Tears filled her eyes before she knew it. Laenor saw, quickly taking the child back so May didn’t have to make a fuss.

“He is very handsome, Princess.” She tried to will her tears away. Laenor stood in front of her for a moment, blocking everyone else from seeing her. May smiled gratefully at him, and he nodded with a smile. She composed herself, and he turned back to Rhaenyra.

“You need some rest,” He spoke to her, and Rhaenyra nodded. Viserys smiled brightly. Alicent’s was tight. May took her leave quickly, heading back to her chambers.

It had been a year since losing her last child. The pain had subsided. But never truly went away.

—-

[saffronapplemanga]

Anime/Manga Recommendation Round Up

Anime and manga recommendation thread of things I’ve been enjoying in recent years~ 

~I’ll link any dedicated posts I have to these~

~Links to my other manga posts here~

My personal favs/ones I super enjoyed will have a ✨ on them :)

(Some of these might not have official EN translations since any physical manga I read are JP copies. I guess if any sound interesting, ask publishers to license them!)

I won’t get too much into what they’re about because I think finding out is part of the fun. I’ll mostly list the genres and a little blurb. Some of these I feel like I rarely hear anyone talk about so it would be cool to see people try these :) 

 PLEASE LOOK UP ANY TRIGGER WARNINGS!

HORROR, SUPERNATURAL 

✨The Summer Hikaru Died by Mokumoku Ren 

(4 volumes, ongoing)

Available in English

Picked it up earlier this year up knowing nothing but was immediately gripped by the eerie mood. Takes place in the country side where mysterious things have been happening. My friend couldn’t stop reading when I recommended it.

ACTION, THRILLER, DRAMA, CRIME

✨Banana Fish by Yoshida Akimi

(19 volumes + side stories, completed)

It’s getting reprinted in English, so what are you waiting for!

Anime - yes and it’s so good…

The manga is from the 80’s-90’s but the anime updated it in 2018.

Without giving too much away, it takes place in NY where our characters are trying to break out of the vicious cycle of violence and figure out a mystery that’s also connected to a conspiracy. Lovable cast, keeps you on the edge of your seat. I’m obsessed.

DRAMA, ROMANCE, LGBTQ

Lovers�� Kiss by Yoshida Akimi

(2 volumes, completed)

JP only

A short story where high schoolers are just trying to figure life out. Yoshida-sensei has this way of writing human stories and melancholy/tragedy while still leaving a glimmer of hope.

HISTORICAL, SUPERNATURAL

✨Mushishi by Urushibara Yuki

(10 volumes, complete)

I think the physicals are out of print but you can read it on bookwalker. It deserves a reprint!!!

Anime - yes, it’s a whole vibe please watch it

I watched S1 ages ago but never got to the rest until recently. Recently picked up the manga and plan to read it eventually. Another top fav of all time. Amazing atmosphere. We see the daily life of mushi expert Ginko deal with mysterious phenomenon mushi cause.

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Yotsuba&! by Azuma Kiyohiko

(15 volumes, ongoing)

Available in English

This series is super cute, wholesome, and hilarious! Yotsuba is honestly a delight, and following her daily life as she befriends her new neighbors is just a good time. Yet another fav of all time.

DRAMA, ART, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Blue Period by Yamaguchi Tsubasa

(15 volumes, ongoing)

Available in English

Anime - yes, but… listen I’ve never said “don’t watch the anime” because everyone can enjoy stuff however they want but... don’t watch the anime… I’ve never been so offended by an adaption ;_;

After discovering something he’s passionate about for the first time, Yatora navigates the art world despite his fears and being a complete newcomer. This series made me cry so much, I love it… please

ROMANCE

In the Clear Moonlight Dusk by Yamamori Mika

(7 volumes, ongoing)

Available in English

Blind-bought this a while ago. Yoi is dubbed “Prince” by her classmates for her cool demeanor, but she’s not the only one.

YOI IS MY GIRL!!!

ROMCOM, ACTION

MARRIAGETOXIN by Joumyaku and Yoda Mizuki

(3 volumes, ongoing)

Available for free on Shueisha’s mangaplus site

Assassin Gero needs to produce an heir so his sister can stay with her gf, but the social skills he needs to win a girl over need some help. This series is so funny and wholesome, all around a good time!

ACTION, ADVENTURE, FANTASY

✨Yona of the Dawn by Kusanagi Mizuho

(44 volumes, ongoing)

Available in English

Anime - yes, but I haven’t seen it yet so idk

I’m not very far in this one yet, but I’m having a great time. Love the friendship, the found family vibes. Seeing Yona acknowledge that she is naive and then stepping up is awesome.

idk how I slept on this for so long since it seems like something right up my alley. Literally picked up a lot of all the 39 currently out volumes (it came with the light novel too), no questions asked. I’m only a few volumes in, but I’m enjoying it a lot. It’s giving me Ertugrul vibes (the historical Turkish drama). No, I won’t expand on that point, go watch Ertugrul!

I’m committed apparently...

ROMANCE

A Sign of Affection by Morishita Suu

(10 volumes, ongoing)

Available in English

Blind-buy. A cute romance between a deaf girl and a well-traveled guy.

FANTASY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Ascendance of a Bookworm by Kazuki Miya and Shiina You

(3 seasons, ongoing)

Available in English - originally a light novel

Anime - yes, I’ve been watching this not reading it yet

Listen, isekai just don’t ever click with me, but this one does. There’s political drama and we get to learn about the culture and daily lives of people living in this world.

Our mc is reincarnated into a medieval fantasy world where access to books is limited, making it her personal hell. But don’t worry, she gonna do something about it! This series is so interesting and I love the character dynamics. Even if isekai aren’t your thing, try this!

DRAMA, HISTORICAL, POLITICAL

✨Requiem of the Rose King by Kanno Aya

(17 volumes, complete)

Available in English

It has an anime but I heard fans were really mad at the adaption. I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment.

Normally not the kind of thing I would go for, but this series has me constantly screaming. IT’S SO MESSY, but the good kind of messy. It takes every fiber in my body to contain myself when reading in public. It features an mc who was born intersex and a battle for the crown of England.

DRAMA

My Broken Mariko by Hirako Waka

(one shot)

Available in English

Saw this at the bookstore and I looked at the cover like “wow, she looks like she’s really going through it…and she’s carrying someone’s ashes, oh no…” Didn’t know anything else about it but, oof, it’s a heavy one…

DRAMA

Look Back and ✨Goodbye Eri by Fujimoto Tatsuki

(one shots)

Available in English - also on the Jump app

While Fujimoto-sensei’s more well-known work wasn’t 100% clicking with me, I tried his one shots and really enjoyed them. I particularly liked the cinematic feeling and environmental storytelling.

Maybe when I’m up to it, I’ll do posts on some of these that go into a little more detail on how I felt about them idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[cjsinkythoughts]

Not Your Captain

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1695

Warnings: Falcon and the Winter Soldier Spoilers!!!!! Lots of Angst in this one, guys, lotta feels, some Fluff to counterbalance it, but mostly Angst, Cursing

A/N: This is Part Two to my previous FATWS writing, His Only Contact. FATWS SERIES STERLIST HERE! This one is from Reader’s perspective and gives you a bit more about Reader’s backstory. There will be multiple parts coming out in the next day or two based just on this new episode because damn. It was loaded!  Due to this and my workload this past week, I haven’t been able to post the first chapter of my College!AU, Erased From the Stars, but I promise it’s coming! This’ll be my main focus for the weekend though! Expect more parts in the next 24 hours! I’ll be making a masterlist for this particular project in that time, too! Taglists are open! Please contact me if you want to be tagged! Thank you and please enjoy, loves! (Not beta’d, so sorry for mistakes!)

AGAIN: SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

The moment you saw it on TV, you knew you had to get to Bucky. You weren’t planning on leaving until the next day, but there was no way you weren’t going. So you caught the first plane you could from the base you were staying at.

You’re feelings were all over the place. Steve had been your best friend for more than the past decade. You were the one there when he first woke up. You were the one to help him get situated. You were the one to help him whenever he needed, to go over to his little place in DC when he was having problems, like the time he thought he was having an asthma attack when it was an anxiety attack or when you had to help him find a new phone after he accidentally broke his.

You were that close to falling in love with him. But life went the other way and, in a weird twist of fate, almost as if the universe wanted to spare you of the heartbreak it knew would come if you gave your heart to the dashing captain, you ended up tripping over your own feet for someone else.

Someone you would never tell.

He was the last thing you had left of Steve and you couldn’t ruin that because of your stupid feelings. And you couldn’t ruin the relationship you had now because it was working. He trusted you, more than anyone else. He trusted you because Steve trusted you and you wouldn’t dare break that trust.

You just hoped, with everything going down in relation to the shield - to his legacy - that you’d be able to keep that promise you made to yourself.

You were in front of his door early in the morning - around four - hesitating to knock. It didn’t take long for him to respond the moment your fist did meet the door.

He looked…tired. You wished, oh how you wished, that you could do more. Anything more. He insisted you helped him plenty already; he claimed he never had nightmares when you were by his side. But it wasn’t enough. Not for what he’d been through. You felt as though you were merely putting a bandaid over a bullet wound.

His chocolate locks were short, above his ears. You could remember how hesitant yet eager he was about doing it. It was difficult to not cut his ear off because he kept moving in anticipation. You would know: you cut it. Those blue eyes that made you trip in the first place were outlined by thick lashes, dark ebony bags beneath them, making the azure pop. He was shirtless, as he usually was when sleeping (or at least trying to sleep), his dog tags resting against his sternum. 

You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was watching TV for too long and his hair was less messy than it would be if he actually slept.

The moment his eyes found yours, his plump, chapped lips turned up into the grin he reserved for you and he was pulling you in. Your reaction was instantaneous, your arms slipping around his waist, your chin resting on his shoulder as he found home in the crook of your neck.

He was touch deprived. You knew this, but you never brought it up. Especially considering you were one of the only people he touched willingly. You didn’t want him thinking he was broken, more so than he thought he was already. And you definitely didn’t want to push him into fixing himself. So you didn’t tell him, even though you were pretty sure he knew, and you just let him take the lead. 

Sometimes it meant he grabbed your hand in large crowds, or tucked you under his arm when he was threatened. Other times it meant laying his head in your lap when he was tired late at night, or a soft hug in greeting.

Hands slowly tracing his spine, fingers dancing up and down his back, you gave a small smile when you felt him practically purring in your embrace. You could never decide if he was more puppy or kitten. You used to make jokes about the three of them, Steve, Bucky, and Sam, being like a puppy, kitten, and bird that you had to reluctantly pet sit for a friend. You would give almost anything to be joking around like that with them when you went to visit Bucky in Wakanda with Steve.

“Buck?”

He hummed. You didn’t want to pull back, you wanted to stay connected with him for as long as possible, but you had to talk. You didn’t want to talk about it, because that would make it more real, but you had to. You had to.

“Have you seen the news recently?”

His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pulling down. “What happened? Is it Wanda?”

You looked down the hall, your lips pressed together tightly, before nodding inside. “We have to talk.”

He nodded, stepping back and pulling you inside. Seeing the makeshift bed on the floor against the far edge of the sofa made you inwardly sigh, but you didn’t say anything about it. Steve was the same way at first.

“Is she okay? Did you find her? Where-”

“It’s not Wanda.” Turning, you faced him, trying to control your own anger at the situation, knowing it wouldn’t help him any. “It’s…it’s about Steve.”

Those spectacularly blue eyes narrowed, bottom lip being sucked in between his teeth. “What about Steve?”

You gestured for him to come closer, holding out your hand in offering. He took it and followed you as you led him to the couch. A cleared throat and a deep breath later found you gently explaining what happened to him. That the government had taken back the shield and had given it to someone else. A ‘hero just for America’. A ‘new Captain America’.

You could see his features harden with every word, his jaw ticking dangerously, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. You squeezed his hand as you finished. “He’s got meetings and stuff with senators and governors. They’re taking him on a tour this week. They-they want me to meet him, considering I’m the last of the original seven. Active on Earth, at least.”

The tears that started forming in his eyes made you swallow your own emotions down thickly. He didn’t need your hatred of this wannabe to fuel his own. He needed your support and comfort. He needed to know you’d be by his side through this.

“Are you?”

You blinked, not expecting his first words to be that question. “Am I what?”

“Going to meet with him?”

“I-I…” You stopped talking, knowing that if you continued you’d end up ranting about how he wasn’t your captain. How he could never be your captain. Debating answers, you decided on a simple, blunt reply. “No.”

“Why…” 

Running your thumb over his knuckles, you leaned over slowly to press a chaste kiss to his bare skin and blood shoulder. “Take your time. Collect your thoughts.”

He responded to your words by taking a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut, his jaw so tight you feared he might chip his teeth. It was a tense minute before he said anything, the room being filled with his harsh breathing. “You said he gave them the shield.”

“What?”

“Yesterday. You told me he gave up the shield. They put it in the Smithsonian. But you just said they took it from him.”

“He did give it to them, but-”

“Why?” His eyes snapped open, his features twisting into ones of frustration and resentment. “Why’d he give it to them?”

You shook your head, knowing Sam didn’t mean for any of that to happen. He had called you a few weeks ago to ask about your opinion on the matter. You told him that Steve trusted him, and you trusted Steve, so if Sam thought that was the right thing to do…you trusted him. “It’s not Sam’s fault. Don’t be mad-”

“Don’t be mad?! Don’t be mad?!” Bucky shot up, ripping his hand away from yours, making you bite your lip and hang your head as he paced in front of you. “Steve gave it to him! And he just gives it away like he’s regifting a shitty frisbee as a Christmas present! And you don’t want me to be mad?! Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?!”

Cringing at the use of your name, which you rarely hear fall from his lips, especially in vexation like just then, you looked up at him, eyes pleading. “Bucky, I get it. I do. I’m mad, too. I’m-I’m furious. But you can’t blame Sam. Please. He just - he’s trying, Buck. Just like me. Just like you. We’re all trying.”

Bucky’s shoulders fell as he stared at you, eyes darting from feature to feature as he studied your face. Before you could say anything else, he was on the floor in front of you, in between your legs, arms wrapped around your waist and face pressed into your stomach.

You could tell he was holding something back - something big - but you wouldn’t push him. You never did. Displaying feelings was always hard for him, even in the early 1900’s; Steve used to tell you stories when you were looking for him after the fiasco in DC. Bucky grew up being the oldest of four and the only boy. On top of that, his best friend was a scrawny, stubborn, punching bag of a boy. According to Stevie, neither of them really learned how to cope or how to deal with feelings. And it showed. Boy, did it show.

Instead of getting on him and asking what was wrong and begging for him to talk to you, your fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, as you sat back to make the position more comfortable for him.

“Stay with me. I need you.”

You leaned down to press a soft kiss to his head, nodding into his hair. “I’ll stay. For as long as you need me, Buckaroo.”

Taglist (OPEN):

@happygoreading​, @thatsdarwinism​, @satellitespidey​

[strawberrynamjoon]

farmer boy, i love you

– Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

– Genre: farming!au, lowkey e2l, smut, humor & tons of nagging

– Word count: 35k

– Summary: Needing change in your life you decided it would be a brilliant idea to move to your uncle’s small farm, helping him and your cousin Jimin with the daily work. What you didn’t plan was to fall in love with your beautiful yet very annoying neighbour Taehyung, who seemed to make it his personal mission to tease you every chance he got. And what you expected even less was that he seemed to like you too.

– Warnings: includes smut, alcohol and mentions death of a father

– A/N: this is a rewritten edition of a fic i already posted before when i was still writing for got7 but i loved it too much to let it go <3

– Disclaimer: This is not proofread because I was too lazy, so you might find a few mistakes!

Walking the long but yet very pretty way towards the small village that, from today on, was supposed to be your new home you felt a bit indifferent. While you were convinced that it was time for you to start a new chapter of your life you still couldn’t help but feel anxious about taking such a big step.

Moving to the farm that belonged to your uncle seemed like such a great idea when he first offered the plan he had to you – the place held such special memories and as a child you always wanted nothing more than to live there, working on the farm, supporting your uncle and his son, your super annoying yet lovely cousin Jimin.

Now that the idea wasn’t an idea anymore but your reality you were scared and not so sure anymore that this was the right step, yet your second thoughts didn’t matter anymore, it was already too late for you.

The big city you grew up had nothing to offer you anymore – so now, you wanted, or better said needed a cut in your life.

There was nothing you used to love more than sneaking out with your cousin at night, secretly meeting up with your friends, going for a swim in the small lake right next to your house. You wouldn't trade those memories for nothing, cherishing each and every one of them. So, you concluded that this town was the best option you had.

It had been such a long time since you visited, you actually felt a bit nostalgic when you arrived in the center of the town. The residents liked to call the marketplace at the beginning of the town „the heart“ of the city.

Ever since your last visit many years ago nothing seemed different. Basically, it was a round and rather big circle, surrounded by a small café that has been there all your life, right next to it the library that was owned by the Jeon family, the parents of Jimin's closest friend, Jungkook. You couldn't help but smile as you remembered how you used to hide in the library, reading the same few books over and over again.

Opposite of the library was the old restaurant – every single rather important event was celebrated in that specific restaurant, no matter if it were birthdays, anniversaries, New Year's Eve or whatever other occasion there was.

It was so popular not only because of the delicious food they offered but also because it was literally the only restaurant around. Your uncle and your neighbors, the Kims, were providing them with the food they needed, so you usually always got food for free which lead to you and Jimin spending a lot of time at the restaurant, no matter how often your uncle insisted he could cook dinner for you – in hindsight you felt kind of bad for him because the two of you constantly turned down his meals.

And last, but certainly not least, there was the little pub that you never actually were allowed to spend time in since you used to be too young. The Mins, the owners of the place, were very strict about that. None of you and your friends were ever allowed to be inside the pub as long as you were minors – even their son Yoongi rarely ever saw it from the inside, probably because the adults didn’t want the children around after work was done.

As you stood in the middle of the marketplace you couldn't help but smile as the last sunrays of this warm late summer day were falling right onto the pub, making it look a bit more beautiful than it actually was. The paint on the outside was splintered and the sign that simply said ‘The Mins’ Pub’ was slowly falling apart – somehow all of this gave it a certain charm though.

The vibe of the village always made you feel comfortable. There were about 150 people living here if you had to guess and the next supermarket was a twenty-five minute drive away but the people seemed so happy, not worrying about a lot of things.

You decided that a short stop in the pub before you’d go home to your uncle’s house wouldn’t hurt anyone. After all, you were way too curious to finally see the magical place from inside.

As you carefully entered the door you felt cheerful – it looked exactly like you always imagined it to be. Most of the furniture was made out of old wood, the bar was long and it was the first thing one would notice as they came in since it was on the opposite wall of the entrance.

Your smile was wide when you spotted the one man you hoped to find standing behind the bar. Of course, Yoongi was the bartender by now, it was always his plan to work here, to him it seemed to be the coolest thing ever to be a bartender, especially in his own bar – and turns out, he was right, he looked extremely cool behind the bar, washing glasses while chatting with villagers.

For a second you studied him, he looked dangerously handsome. Certainly a lot taller than the last time you had interacted with him and his face seemed more mature, a defined jawline but the same round cheeks, his hair long and falling in his face, making him look almost evil for a seocnd. If it wasn’t for gummy smile you would have had to look twice to be sure it was the same Min Yoongi you spent so much time with as a child.

The expression on his face as he recognized you, the young lady from out of town, was priceless – his whole relaxed and cool facade vanished immediately as he stared at you with his eyes wide open, a questioning glance as he saw you. He was caught off guard, his slightly opened mouth giving him away.

“Just the man I hoped to find. Yoongi, you look good,” you playfully flirted as you walked towards the bar, “I’d like to have one beer please.”

Within seconds he was walking away from his place behind the bar to come and embrace you in a tight hug before mustering you, shortly studying your face to make sure you were really the person he thought you were.

“(Y/N), live and in color? I thought you forgot about us,” he joked, the surprise of you in his bar very pleasant to him.

A joyful laugh came out of your mouth as he walked back behind the bar, opening both, you and himself, a beer.

“You could’ve called, you know? No need to surprise me like this. My old heart can’t take those kinds of surprises anymore,” he sounded lighthearted, just like you remembered him.

Immediately you felt ten times lighter, clicking with people you haven’t seen in a long time was one of the purest and most magical feelings in existence and you were more than relieved to see that you and Yoongi were equally as excited to be reunited after such a long time. Not getting along with your old friends, especially him, was one of the many fears you had about moving here.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t assume Jimin actually kept quiet about me coming back,” you admitted.

“How long has it been since we saw each other?” he asked as he was leaning against the bar, his whole attention on his former best friend, still having an obviously hard time to believe that you were actually sitting in front of him right then and there.

Before you could give him an answer someone else started to answer for you from behind you and you immediately recognized his orotund voice, “Six long years,” your cousin said while he and another familiar face walked up to you.

Jimin pulled you into an even deeper hug than Yoongi did and you felt home within seconds. Jungkook was right beside him, of course, where else would he be than next to Jimin? The two of them still were inseparable and it was almost heartwarming to see how little has changed.

“How did you manage to not say anything?” Jungkook scoffed in shock before looking at you, “It’s good to see you again, (y/n). I can’t believe Jimin didn’t tell us.”

You were almost amazed to see how much he grew, his chin could easily rest on your head by now, something that you would’ve never thought could happen. Jungkook has always been the youngest and smallest kid back then and now he was the tallest in the room.

“I wasn’t sure if she’d actually come. Didn’t want to get your hopes up, Jungkook,” he teased his friend, still nagging about the crush he had on you when you were literally five years old.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at his comment before bringing his attention back to you and Yoongi, sitting down on the stool beside yours.

“So, how long are you going to stay?” Yoongi asked.

For the first time, you actually had to say the truth out loud, making it feel much more real.

“I’m not planning to leave again,” you sounded more confident than you expected, the nice encounter with your old friends almost making you feel like all of your previous worries were groundless.

There was a moment of silence, both of them not knowing what to say – it almost seemed like you broke them.

“You know, I never saw you speechless until now,” Jimin chuckled amused.

“You mean –”, Jungkook started to form a sentence but dropped it, not knowing how to continue.

“You’re moving here?” Yoongi asked, wrinkles on his forehead as his brows narrowed in confusion.

As you slowly nodded his concentrated expression vanished and changed into a grin. “You’re actually moving here,” he repeated breathlessly, more to himself than to you, slowly nodding to himself as if he had to progress the new information.

“Welcome home then, (y/n). I think this is a reason to celebrate,” he smiled while pouring shots into a few glasses in front of him.

Time went by fast and you had fun learning about what happened in the last six years. It didn’t sound like a lot has changed though, they were still as close and as fun to be around as you rememberd.

Every time you looked at them it hit you how fast time flew by, it felt like a just few months ago all of you were playing hide and seek in the middle of the night while your parents had no idea you sneaked out.

A few hours and way too many shots later, you and Jimin walked home, the night sky was breathtakingly clear and full of stars – a sight you simply would never see in your hometown, all the city lights drowing them out. You forgot how special it felt to walk under millions of stars.

No matter how much fun you had in the bar, walking home with Jimin was your favorite part of today, you definitely missed him the most.

He told you a bit about how Hoseok and Namjoon were thinking about taking over the old restaurant because the owners are getting too old to manage everything and about Jungkook and Seokjin being into the same girl, without knowing that Namjoon was already dating her in secret – it was nice that he filled you in with everything you missed, so you could start right where you left.

As you arrived at home your uncle was sitting in the rocking chair on the porch in front of the old farmhouse.

“Uncle Minwoo,“ you almost shouted out as you saw him, jogging over to where he was sitting. Minwoo always was your favorite uncle and you were his favorite niece, much to the dislike of your siblings.

“(Y/n),” he laughed as you hugged him, “you smell like you had a good time in the pub.”

“We actually have a small surprise for you,” Jimin seemed excited as he told you to follow him.

He lead you to the old little cottage that has been on the farm for as long as you were able to think – back in the days it was mainly used for storing tools and electronics that shouldn’t be exposed to the rain. Confusion coming over you, your uncle handed you a key and you opened the small cottage. Stepping inside, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Welcome home,“ your uncle chuckled as you observed the room in front of you. A small kitchen, a couch and a TV in the living room, a bed on the other side of the room. They painted the walls white and decorated a bit – it might have been something small but enough to touch you deeply.

You were sure you could stay here forever, it was cute and welcoming, like a real home. Not a thousand words could describe how much you appreciated them for putting in so much effort, just to make you feel comfortable.

As you thanked both, Jimin and your uncle, the three of you talked for a bit longer, the excitement taking over before your uncle advised you that it would be better to catch some sleep – work wouldn’t wait for you and you had to be thankful for any second of sleep you could get.

Waking up the next morning, you immediately regretted the alcohol you had the night before. Your phone said it was currently six in the morning and while being woken up by the sound of chicken and cows was way more relaxing than your usual alarm clock you still would have preferred to just sleep in.

Walking outside a few minutes later you inspected the farm – it was a giant property with two big houses on it. Half of the farm belonged to your uncle, he took care of the animals and artisan goods, the other half belonged to the Kims, in charge of the crop harvest

Starting the day with feeding the chickens and collecting eggs was one of the easier tasks you had to face today since it almost didn’t require any kind of skill. While you were picking up another egg you flinced as you heard someone scream at you from behind.

“Hey! Put the eggs back! Who in the world steals eggs these days?” the deep voice belonged to a man but before you could turn around to find out who was screaming at you, he held your wrists behind your back, not giving you any space to move.

Your attempt to free yourself was almost embarrassing, it was clear that you had no chance against whoever decided to disturb you.

Turning your head around to scream at the stranger you muted as soon you met his eyes – the words you wanted to scream wouldn’t come out as you looked into the familiar face of his, your brain working hard as you realized who he was.

His thick eyebrows were furrowed, his dark eyes were piercing you, filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance – he was still staring at you and waiting for an explanation.

“Kim–“ your voice died and you fastly cleared your throat, “Kim Taehyung?”

His annoyed expression changed into a confused one as you called him by his name. You couldn’t believe he was accusing you of stealing eggs.

“Let go of me!” you demanded but Taehyung wasn’t planning to listen to you, not trusting you.

“Who are you?”, he asked harshly, “You’re not from here. How do you know my name?”

The grip on your wrists became tighter and actually started to hurt a bit.

“I’m (Y/N). Minwoo’s niece,” you replied just as harsh as he asked you, “Didn’t Mrs. Kim teach you any manners?”

He let you go and you immediately grabbed your own wrist just so he couldn’t grab them again. A small pout formed on your lip as you looked at them, trying not to let him see that it actually hurt.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you, voice cold.

Now you were facing him and you had to stop for a second to take in his beauty. As he was holding you, you didn’t really manage to study his face since you were too busy trying to free yourself but now you started realizing how handsome he became.

It's not like he was ugly before, you and him just never clicked and that’s why you never gave his face any kind of attention.

Taehyung wasn’t a bad guy, you knew that because Yoongi repeatedly assured you that he was actually a very loving person once you get to know him.

Personally, you just never really got the chance to, since he definitely wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with you. Not in a mean way though, he just didn’t seem to care about the girls in town, especially not the one who always came over the summer break and then left again.

Glowering at you, he was waiting for an answer. You, on the other hand, didn’t dare to look him into his eyes, instead your eyes were studying the rest of his face. His features were sharper and manlier now, his brows thick but he still had the same wrinkles around his eyes.

For a second you wanted to look at his lips but you stopped yourself, not wanting him to get wrong ideas.

“What are you doing here?” you asked in retund instead of giving an answer, “Didn’t you always say you wanted to leave this place?”

He rolled his eyes as you avoided his question.

“I asked first,“ he insisted, making it hard for you not to chuckle at the very immature conversation you were having.

“I am working here. Don’t you have some vegetables to take care of?” you asked coldly asked before turning your back to him.

“You better get used to my face, if you scare me like this one more time I might have a heart attack,” you added as your attention was back to feeding the chickens.

But instead of leaving Taehyun was walking to stand right beside you, “You’re working here? Why would you do that?” he asked. It never was a secret that he wanted to leave this town, he used to talk about it a lot back then already and, even though he still was here, apparently, he still wanted to leave.

“I’m supporting my family,” you shrugged, not looking at him. You really didn’t want to be cold to him but you were tired and you knew how Taehyung was, he didn’t mean to be rude, he had a soft nature, everyone could see that once they got to see his warm smile but sometimes he was a bit rough.

You could see him shake his head in confusion as you were continuing with your work, “Okay, you go milk those cows and churn that butter if this is what fulfills you, (y/n). I’ll go back to work,“ he pointed at the field of tomatoes on the other side of the farm your families shared and left you alone again.

Walking over to the cows, you couldn't help but wonder why he still was here. He was a very clever guy, he could easily go and leave this town to study and open a business or whatever it was he wanted to do. Glancing over to him one more time, you tried to divert your attention to milking the cows.

The field of tomatoes he was currently working on was not too far away but luckily still far enough to give you a bit of privacy. He seemed to be very invested in picking the best tomatoes he could find, a concentrated glance on his face. And you really should try to concentrate too, since you haven’t milked a cow in years.

And you failed miserably. To your desperation, no one was around when you went looking for Jimin or your uncle to help you. Trotting back to the cows you sat down on a small stool in front of one them, giving it another try.

You groaned at the cow, laying your head back and closing your eyes in frustration. It was only your first day and you knew practice makes perfect but you wanted to cry.

“Just give me your stupid milk, please,” you mumbled while taking a deep breath, your eyes still closed.

“Are you sure this is the right job for you? If you can’t even milk Bertha maybe you should reconsider,“ Taehyung’s voice startled you, making you jump a bit. The grin on his face clearly was teasing, full of satisfaction because you were struggling, “Do you need help?”

“Please,“ you didn’t care about the triumphing grin on his face, you were more than willing to take his offer. Any kind of help was good. And in the end, you didn’t dislike Kim Taehyung, you just weren’t close to him.

He nodded before telling you to wait for a second as he walked towards the little shed. Coming out again he held a strange looking machine in his hand while attaching it to the cow’s udder.

“We haven't milked them by hand for years,” he explained to you as he took your wrist once again, this time more careful though, and slightly pulled you towards the cow’s udder, right next to him.

“Watch closely, I’ll show you once and if you can’t follow, you’re on your own,” his words sounded harsh but you didn’t take them that way. The fact that Yoongi was his best friend was something you two had in common and if he wanted you to give Taehyung a chance you would do that. For Yoongi, but also for yourself.

After all, Taehyung was your neighbor and, in addition, he was a handsome man, you wouldn’t mind being able to look at his face whenever you wanted at all.

You saw the way he acts around the guys and you saw that he indeed had a very soft heart, maybe he just had a hard time showing it.

“Hey! Are you even watching?” he asked annoyed while glancing at you, “I know how to do this, I am not the one that has to learn. I’m being nice here, don’t waste my time.”

You chuckled a bit at him losing his temper so easily. “Yes, Taehyung, I’m watching," you said grinning, “Wasting your time was not a task on my list today.”

After he rolled his eyes at you you could swear you saw a small smile on his face while he started to milk the cow, explaining to you what he was doing step by step.

You tried to concentrate on how exactly he does it, what movements his hands made and so on but you kept on finding yourself thinking about how good his hands looked – what in the world was wrong with you? It's not like you've never seen an attractive man before so you had no clue why your hormones were playing a game with you.

After you started to try milking the cows yourself you felt more than relieved that you actually managed to do it right. Letting out a small ‘thank god’ under your breath you realized that Taehyung still stood right beside you, watching your every move.

“You know, you can go back to the toma–” you started to say before he interrupted you in the same moment.

“Just a tip for you,“ he said, not sounding cold for the first time, “Don’t dress up for farm work. You’ll ruin your clothes. You can still wear cute outfits after you’re finished here. But while working just wear something old,“ he said as he was just about to turn around before you had to take the chance to annoy him one last time for now.

“You think my outfit is cute?” the grin on your face was wide and you were way too amused.

As a response his eyes squinted together in regret, knowing that you’ll probably never stop teasing him about it.

“Please don't,“ was all he could whisper frustrated under his breath.

“What a softie you are,“ you playfully poked his upper arm, “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

He let out yet another sigh, sounding almost whiny but the smile on the corner of his mouth came out nonetheless, “Are you always this awful?“

“Dear diary,“ you said in a nagging tone, “Today Kim Taehyung complimented my–”

Before you could end your sentence he was covering your mouth, shaking his head in disbelief slowly, “I’ll go back to work, (y/n). Don’t forget to churn the butter. The wooden pitcher we use for it is in the shed,“ and with that, he walked back to his side of the farm again.

Just a second before he arrived he glanced over to you again, screaming so that you would hear him, “I didn’t compliment you okay? Don't let it get to your head.“

Waving at him from the shed, you nodded your head. “Sure. Talk to you later! Your outfit looks cute too by the way”, you screamed back.

Maybe working next to Taehyung wasn’t so bad after all, if he was always such an easy target to provocate you'd at least have your fun.

When Jimin came into the shed with the tools to take over a few hours later, you were busy churning the butter, cursing under your breath.

Sweat was dripping all over your forehead and it was seriously tiring, every single muscle of your arm hurt, including some muscles you didn’t even know you had. You weren’t sure if you could manage to do that on a daily base. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about a gym membership anymore.

Your cousin stared at you confused, a sly grin in the corner of his mouth, “What exactly are you doing?“

“I’m churning the goddamn butter. Why is it so hard?” you complained while looking up to him. He was holding two beers in his hands, handing one over to you before starting to laugh at your action.

“Why would you use that old thing for that? We have a machine that churns it for us,“ he laughed, “I don’t know why we even still have that old thing.”

“Fucking Kim Taehyung,“ you cursed under your breath, leaving Jimin even more confused.

“You met him?” he asked while sitting down in the hay beside you.

“I did," you hissed, “He was the one who told me to do it this way.”

Jimin’s smile grew wide as he tried to contain his laughter, “I didn’t know he could be so evil.”

He almost sounded satisfied that you were getting fooled by him, “He likes you if he teases you.”

“Well, that’s not a very nice way of showing it,“ you took a big sip of the beer, knowing that you probably deserved it for all the teasing earlier, before continuing, “You didn’t tell me he became so handsome though.”

Jimin’s eyes widened immediately as you confessed and you could tell he was trying not to spit out his drink out of shock. He fastly swallowed, “You have a crush on our Tae?”

You shook your head scoffing, lightly kicking his leg, “A crush? How old are we? I just think he’s very attractive. But he was pretty rude though.”

Jimin pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking into the sky, „His father died two years ago. He had a hard time. But he opens up sooner or later, just be patient with him – I promise, he is one of the most kind and caring people in this town.“

You gulped at the news, “What a sad loss, Mr. Kim was such a ray of sunshine, always ready to help if help was needed.”

Jimin nodded, “He was. Olli was only six years old when his father died. But dad took a lot of care of them since then.”

There was a short silence. You still remembered little Olli, Taehyung’s younger brother. The last time you saw him he was barely two years old.

“I can’t believe he’s your type though. I thought I really wanted to set you up with Jungkook,“ Jimin broke the silence before you could think about it any longer, almost offended.

You laughed at him. He was close to Taehyung, you knew that, but he always wanted you to date Jungkook, only for the purpose of having him as an official family member.

“That won’t happen,”, you broke it to him, much to his disappointment.

A deep sigh came from him, “Well if you want Taehyung so bad, come to the pub with us. I bet he’ll be there too tonight. We are meeting at eight. What do you say?”

“I don’t want him, I simply said that he is good looking,”  you desperately hoped he wouldn’t tease you all the time about this from now on, already starting to slowly regret that you even brought it up in the first place. And as much as you would like to go out to the pub with the others you had a date with your bathtub that you wouldn’t want to miss for anything else tonight.

“I’ll pass though. I’ll come next time,“ you promised, standing up and walking towards your door.

“I can’t wait to tell Yoongi that you and Taehyung are going to become a couple. How exciting!” he yelled after you in his typical teasing voice, making you laugh out in frustration. Sharing your opinion on Taehyung’s look with your cousin probably wasn't the best idea.

It fastly got dark outside and you were lighting the candles in your bathroom, the bathtub slowly filling up with hot water.

Exactly what your muscles needed after churning the butter all afternoon. Putting a bit of milk in the bathtub, you wondered if you had some honey in the farmhouse by any chance. As you wrapped the first towel you could find around your body, you wanted to hush over to your uncle’s house to check. But what stopped you from your plans was a shadow you saw walking past your window, making you freeze until someone rang your door.

Opening it, no one else than Taehyung was standing in front of it, his work clothes traded into sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, a basket in his hand and his eyes fixed on your exposed legs.

The towel you were wearing luckily covered all of your breast and bottom but that was about it. And, as if it couldn't get worse, it also had a lot of fairies on it – it used to be your favorite towel when you were about five years old. Still, you didn’t need Taehyung to see you wearing it.

“Taehyung?“ you asked him, unsure why he was visiting but he was still looking at the exposed parts of your body, not doing a good job at hiding the fact that he got distracted by your legs. You barely noticed though because your thoughts wandered to this morning. “How dare you not telling me that we have a machine for the butter? Are you crazy?”

“My arms hurt so much,“ you added in a complaining tone, too tired to fight him so you decided to whine instead.

Coming back to reality, he laughed at you, his eyes now looking at your face, “You seriously did it all by yourself?” – he was lucky the wrinkles around his eyes were so cute whenever he laughed, otherwise you would have killed him right there, “You must be pretty strong then.”

“What do you want?” you asked him annoyed before you saw his eyes wandering down to your legs once again.

Not missing out on the opportunity to nag him, you chuckled, “Do you like my outfit?” as you struck a small pose, you had to be careful not to expose any parts he shouldn’t see.

Rolling his eyes he handed over the basket, “Seriously, you’re so annoying.”

You grinned, thinking it’s quite funny how easy it was to annoy him, “But you still think I’m cute, so it doesn’t matter.”

There definitely was a smile hidden on his lips that he tried to hide at all cost, but you could see it reaching his eyes, “This is for you. My mum put your favorites in it. Tomatoes, cherries, peaches, blueberries. She asked me to bring it to you,“ the man said, trying to sound as uninterested and unbothered as possible.

“That–“ you started to gather your words, feeling very touched about the little gift but a bit confused as to why Taehyung brought it to you, “That’s so nice of her. I’ll come over tomorrow and thank her.”

He immediately focused on you again, “No, it's fine. I’ll tell her. She’s kind of sick at the moment, she needs to rest, Olli is not even letting me go near her because he doesn’t want anyone else to get sick, so I doubt he would let you come over.”

You mustered him suspiciously but decided to leave him be, you surely teased him enough for today and didn’t want him to actually dislike you.

“Alright, Tae. Thank you,“ you gave him a soft smile as you were about to close the door.

“Wait,” he stopped you before you closed the door and you waited for him to say something, “Are you planning to go to the pub later?“ – if you didn’t expect him to ask one thing than it was this one. Why did he care suddenly?

“I don’t think so. Churning that butter has really worn me out, you know?” you said, laughing lightly, “And my bathtub is already waiting for me.”

“Oh alright. That’s cool. See you soon, I guess,“ he said before awkwardly giving you a small smile and leaving again. What a strange yet interesting guy he was.

Something about him made you look forward to your future on the farm. But before you could let it get to your head, you were interrupted by a text from no one else than Yoongi.

[Yoongi, 22:29]

Glad to hear you're getting yourself a man! Taehyung and (y/n), how sweet.

You let out a small laugh before finally meeting your only date for tonight: Your bathtub. Though you had to admit that the handsome face from next door was coming to your mind every now and then.

After a week you slowly got used to the daily work on the farm, your body was finally starting to react differently, your arms weren’t getting as sore anymore and waking up early was bothering you less and less.

It was a sunny Saturday which meant you had to gather all of the goods your uncle wanted to sell on the market the next morning. Picking out the best eggs, milk, wool and cheese was pretty boring, especially since Jimin left early because he was going on a date tonight with some random girl you never heard about before. But since you wanted him to be happy, and also because his teasing about Taehyung was slowly but surely making you go insane, you told him it would be okay if he let you work alone today.

It took you about an hour until you were finally done with carrying all of the boxes into your uncle’s car as you saw Mrs. Kim, Taehyung’s mother, and decided to help her quickly carrying her own boxes filled with pretty fruits and vegetables.

His mother was a beautiful and lovely lady, always has been. Her black hair was long and even though there were a few grey strands in it by now she still looked as young as ever.

“Mrs. Kim, let me help you,“ you shouted while jogging over to her, “Where’s Taehyung? Letting his mother carry all the heavy boxes of fruits and vegetables alone is not a nice thing to do,” you disapproved, one box already in your hands.

She let out a laugh and you were reminded of how warm her laughter was, it sounded like the giggle of a small child.

“It’s fine, I told him to rest for today. He always works so much,” she let out a worried sigh, “I’m very thankful, I know helping me on the farm was not what he wanted to do with his life but he does it for me.”

You never really thought about it that way before – that might explain why he was still here despite always hating the small village he was born and grew up in, it was probably hard for him to leave his family behind after losing his father.

While carrying a box full of blueberries you ate a handful, not able to hold back. The Kim’s blueberries have always been your favorites, none of the ones back at home could compare to the juicy fruits you'd get here.

“You still love blueberries, I see,” She hummed joyfully as she was carrying the last box to the car.

“I am obsessed with them,” you answered, “Oh how rude of me – I still wanted to thank you for the little basket full of fruits you send to me. I was in heaven, your peaches were even better than I remembered.”

Mrs. Kim looked at you in confusion for a second before getting a grip of the situation, the confusion vanishing while a different kind of expression came to her face, unable for you to read at first.

“So he can actually be charming,“ she mumbled to herself with an almost mischievous smirk and within seconds you knew exactly what she was talking about. That little shit.

Scoffing, you wondered why Taehyung wouldn't just admit that the little basket was a present from him, not from his mother – who would do something so sweet without wanting to let the other person know? But then, on the other hand, you didn’t understand Taehyung at all.

“Mum,” you heard his voice yell out while he walking out of the door to their house.

When he saw you he froze for a second, “Oh, hey, (y/n),“ he said with a slight and not really convincing smile, it almost seemed forced.

You nodded towards him, ready to go back to work and leave them alone, as his little brother came running outside, chasing after Taehyung.

“Tete,” he let out a scream as he tried to jump on his back. He was surprisingly tall for an eight-year-old, almost managing to get to Taehyung’s shoulders if he jumped high enough, “Can I come with you? Please?”

Before he could answer, Olli’s attention shifted somewhere else. Or better said, onto someone else. To be precise, you caught his attention, the girl standing in front of his mother and brother, a stranger he’s never seen before.

“Who are you?” he asked curiously, studying you exactly, “Are you Minwoo’s niece?”

You kneeled down to be at an eye to eye level with him, shaking his hand, “Yes, that’s me. I’m (y/n). It's nice to meet you.”

He had a big grin on his face, “Hi, I’m Olli,“ after introducing himself to you he turned around to his big brother, “Did you make the basket for her?”

Taehyung shushed him within a second, giving him a warning glance before trying to cover up his story, “Yes, I did it because mum asked me to.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh, making fun of her son, “Sure. It was totally me asking you to do that.”

A heavy sigh fell from Taehyung’s mouth before shaking his head in disbelief, “Where is your cousin? He promised he’d help me picking up our new couch.”

“Oh, I am afraid he forgot. He’s on a date right now,“ you informed him.

Taehyung let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temple, not believing that Jimin completely forgot about him. Now even more frustrated, he started mumbling, “It’s always the same with this guy.”

“I’ll help you,“ you volunteered determined, not even bothering to ask him first, knowing he’d say no anyway, “I’m done with work for today and I don’t mind coming along.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go alone,“ he insisted, clearly mad at your cousin before walking over to his car. Not caring you decided to follow him, hoping that he’d be nice to Jimin if you helped him instead, even though you had little hope.

“Stop being so stubborn,“ you said to him as you opened the door and sat down inside the car, “Just accept my help.”

And much to your surprise, he did accept it, not bothering to start another discussion with you. Maybe he was just too tired of the constant bickering going on between the two of you.

As the two of you drove out of town the sky looked like it was painted in golden colors, the sun slowly setting but the air was still warm, brushing the arm you held out of the open window.

“Where are we even going?” you asked the obviously bothered boy beside you.

“It’s not far away, the dude I’m buying the couch from lives like twenty minutes away,“ he answered, his eyes glued to the street, „You really didn’t have to come. I could’ve easily done it alone.”

Slowly but surely, you were starting to get mad at Taehyung. You couldn’t tell why his constant attitude was getting to you but it did. Of course, he didn't have to like you and honestly, maybe you did go a bit too far with the teasing but after all, you were neighbors, co-workers and also shared the same group of friends. Being nice to each other was the least you could do – especially when you knew that he wasn’t like that at all towards other people. You’ve seen him interact with his little brother and his mother and his friends, he was a warm and loving person, laughing and joking whenever he could. He just wouldn’t open up towards you.

„Dude, you’re the worst. Can you keep quiet for once and accept help? Stop being so rude all the time, being nice every now and then won’t hurt you, you know? You can take your bad mood out on Jimin later.” you snapped at him, not even intended to sound so mean but it just happened – you just wanted him to at least accept you.

He peaked at you, his eyes grew wide in shock at your rant. Even though your voice was still low he clearly heard the frustration in it, “What do you mean? I am being nice all the time. I told you that you shouldn’t wear your good clothes to work in. That was a piece of nice advice I gave you for example.”

You scoffed at him not knowing if he was being serious, “You also attacked me because you thought I was stealing chicken and made me churn butter.”

He chuckled amused as you brought the churning up, “I still can’t believe you did that.”

“My arms still hurt. You’re an asshole,“ you rolled your eyes, not in the mood to put up with Taehyung being, well, himself, when you were just being nice, “If that is your interpretation of being nice I’m beyond sorry for your future girlfriend.”

“Hey, now you’re the one being mean,“ he acted offended and honestly, a bit confused, not knowing why the two of you were fighting. You weren't even mad at him, you just felt fed up, craving at least peace between the two of you.

“Well, maybe you just need a taste of your own medicine,“ you shrugged, calming down a bit as the discussion started to shift to a more playful mood than a serious one.

But before you or Taehyung could fuel the fire and add anything into the it, you let out a small scream as he was turning right with full speed, making you feel like you were about to crash, holding onto the seatbelt for dear life.

“For fucks sake, where did you learn how to drive? Do you not know that you’re supposed to slow down before turning?” you asked him, gasping for air.

“If this is already scaring you, I’ll give you the nice advice to not drive with Yoongi,” he laughed out loud as he parked his car in front of a big house, “Ready to use the strength in your arms built up from churning butter?”

It took you about twenty minutes to carry all the parts of the couch from the third floor to the trailer attached on Taehyung’s car. When you were done it was beginning to get dark outside and the weather was cooling down, making you shiver a bit.

All done, you sat back inside Taehyung’s car as he was securing the trailer so you could drive back home safely – or at least as safe as a ride with him could be.

“If you’re cold there’s a blanket on the backseat, I'll get it for you,“ he yelled from outside before coming getting inside the car, a blanket in his hand, “See how nice I am? So caring, not wanting you to freeze to death.”

You shook your head amused, „What a gentleman you are.”

The drive home was more peaceful, no discussions this time. You looked outside, seeing a big and bright star in the sky, pointing to it excited.

“I can’t get over how beautiful the starry night sky is here. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,“ you mumbled, almost sounding dreamy, eyes glued to the sky. It wasn’t even completely dark outside yet, but the first stars were already sparkling brightly.

“Isn’t it the same in your hometown?” he asked a bit perplexed as he looked over to you, wondering how you could be so excited about some stupid stars.

“Not at all. The big city lights drown them. You can barely see some, and if you can, they are not as bright as here.”

“I suppose living here isn’t all bad.”, he shrugged after thinking about it for a few seconds, his glance wavering to the sky every few seconds.

You hummed in agreement, “Except for this terrible guy living next to me I quite enjoy my time here.”

He chuckled, enjoying the little game you two were playing, „Must be really hard to live right next to such an attractive young man. I bet you have a hard time.”

Laughing, you were impressed at his wittiness, “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

Before you could let him answer your favorite song suddenly started playing in the radio, making you turn up the volume instantly, “You need to shut up now. This is my all-time favorite song.”

But of course, Taehyung didn't shut up. Much more like him, he did the opposite, trying to sing along as loud as he could just to ruin the song for you – and he had way too much fun doing it.

“I didn’t know you could sing,“ you said, giving him an approving look.

A smirk formed on his lips, “I'm a man full of surprises.”

The rest of the drive the two of you were singing along to the radio loudly, having genuine fun together for the first time since you arrived. It was nice to see him loosen up a bit, even though it was only a small step.

Driving up to the farm, you already saw Jimin sitting on the porch. He immediately stood up, walking over to the car, already apologizing without you really arriving yet, “I’m so so sorry mate. I completely forgot. I owe you a beer next time we go out.”

Taehyung chuckled as he turned the engine off, “Doesn’t seem like his date had a happy ending, considering he’s home already.”

“Good for me,“ you shrugged, “I’m way too tired to carry the whole couch inside anyway.”

You were the first to get out of the car, making Jimin narrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you doing in Taehyung’s car?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m doing your fucking job,“ you shot him a mean glance.

As you were walking towards your home you were stopped by Taehyung holding your arm, making you turn around.

“Thank you, I suppose,“ he said, pressing his lips together, obviously feeling awkward, “Just trying to be nice.”

You gave him a genuine smile, “No problem. Sleep well.”

“You too, (y/n).”

Waking up you were almost shocked to see the weather. Yesterday the sun was still shining while today it was pouring like you never saw before. The sky was dark and grey and your whole farm seemed quite sad, making you wish you could just stay in bed all day, just being lazy, reading, eating and maybe fantasizing about a certain someone.

Checking your phone you saw a text from Jimin: it’s going to storm today, you have to make sure all the animals are in the barn and safe, please. i’m getting food for tonight. see you later, favorite cousin.

You immediately threw on a thick cardigan and brushed your teeth, hurrying to get things done before the weather got even worse. Looking in the mirror you scoffed for a second at your sad reflection – your hair was in a very messy bun and your under-eye circles were almost black. But there was no time to pity yourself right now, you could do that after work.

After you fed and, of course, petted the chickens and made sure that all the windows were closed tightly you ran over to the barn where the cows and goats were in. Your clothes were completely drenched even though the way between the barns was very short, the heavy rain was so strong that there was no way you could’ve stayed dry.

Entering the barn your eyebrows narrowed as you saw that the light was on and the food for the cows was already laid out.

“Uncle Minwoo?” you screamed loudly, the rain was so loud that otherwise, no one would hear you.

“Oh thank god, there you are,“ the owner of the voice was coming out of the little shed you kept your tools in, throwing one of the milking machines over to you. You barely had time to catch it because Taehyung was throwing it without caring if you’d catch it or not.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him skeptically as you sat down to the cow next to the one he was currently milking.

He glanced at you with an annoyed expression on his face - but only until he saw how wet you were from the rain. Right then, he bursted out into laughter, “Why are you not wearing a raincoat for fucks sake?” he asked you, enjoying the sight in front of him a little too much.

“I don’t even own one,“ you admitted a bit hesitant while shrugging, knowing he’d make even more fun of you.

And of course, he did.

“How can you not own a raincoat? Seriously, (y/n), you’re something else. Who on earth doesn’t own a raincoat?” he shook his head in disbelief, still laughing.

You simply pressed your lips together, coming back to your actual question, “But why are you here? Certainly not because you wanted to help me.”

“Hey, maybe I’m not as bad as you think and just wanted to be friendly for once?” he said, acting offended, “Since you’re always complaining.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,“ you answered.

Suddenly you heard a loud thunder outside, making you jump - you usually were not afraid of thunder but the sudden loud noise startled you for a second. What really scared you though was the reaction of two of your cows, immediately after they heard the thunder they let out the deepest and loudest sounds you’ve ever heard of them. They sounded terrified.

Taehyung immediately jumped up from his stool and walked over to Bertha, the small brown cow, petting her face.

“Shhhh, it's okay,“ he tried calming her down before looking over to you, “I’m always here when it storms. Bertha and Marnie are deadly afraid of the thunder, so I accompany them. It calms them down.”

For a second you thought he was fooling you but before you could say something another loud thunder was heard followed by loud sounds of the cows once again. God, you weren't sure if you ever could get used to the sounds they made.

“Wait,“ you interrupted confused as you saw Taehyung pet Bertha once again, giving her a small kiss on the side of her face, “You’re serious?”

He looked at you with a grin, “Of course I am. Go, pet Marnie a bit. She loves getting pets right under his chin, she’s such a lovely cow.”

You did as he said but not really trusting him yet.

“I didn’t know he had feelings, Marnie, did you?” you asked the cow sarcastically.

Taehyung chuckled, shaking his head, “I only have feelings Marnie and Bertha.”

Bertha was walking away from him to the hay he just put down for them to lie down for a bit, something you barely ever saw them doing,

“When I first looked into Bertha’s big brown eyes I fell in love,” he stated lovingly, petting some of the other cows while Bertha was still lying down, „Her eyes are just too pure.“

“That’s adorable,” you had to admit, “Didn’t expect that from you.”

“Are you aware that just because I’m telling you you’re stupid because you don’t own a raincoat or work on a farm with a goddamn Gucci shirt doesn't mean I'm an asshole? That’s my way of helping,” he said confidently, “You just seem to not know exactly what to do, so I’m trying to help.”

„You're still being mean while doing it,“ you insisted, not giving in.

“Whatever,“ he walked over to Bertha, who was resting on the ground, lying down next to her, “Just go inside and relax, I’ll take care of the cows.”

“No way,“ you sat down next to him, “I’ll not leave you alone with my cows. I don’t trust you.”

Of course, that was only an excuse to spend some time with the pretty boy from next door but he didn't need to know – his ego was big enough already. Both of you were now starting to relax slowly, leaning against Bertha, petting her every now and then.

“So, farmer girl, how do you like it here?” he asked you after a few seconds of silence, seeming to be actually interested in you for once.

“It’s nice,“ you shrugged as he was peaking over at you, “I like the fact that I finally am allowed to go into the pub the most.”

“I remember when we first were allowed to go in, it was like Harry Potter seeing Hogwarts for the first time,“ he remembered laughing, “and now we’re the ones that get drunk in there while the younger kids are jealous they can’t.”

“Some things never change, right?“ your eyes darted to Taehyung, who had his eyes closed and seemed to be truly relaxed in your presence for the first time since you arrived. He was using his arm as a pillow, a smile on his lips - for once a genuine smile, not the usual teasing one he gave you. The rain was pouring so hard onto the roof of the barn it sounded like applause. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, exhaling a breathy scoff through your nose, not believing that he actually had a soft side.

“What's so funny?“ he asked curiously, still with closed eyes.

“I just love the sound of heavy rain,”  you lied, also getting into a comfortable position and closing your eyes.

Your neighbour let out a hum, agreeing with you before yawning, “Me too. It’s cozy.”

Your eyelids started to feel heavy, you didn’t have much sleep last night and your body was shivering a bit because of your wet clothes. Taehyung was snoring lightly beside you within a few minutes and before you knew it you were asleep too. You wouldn’t have expected the barn to be such a comfortable place to sleep in.

The sound of someone calling your name, you couldn't quite identify who it belonged to yet, woke you up. As you were slowly starting to realize where you were, you were just as perplexed as Taehyung, who was still beside you, seeming to just have woken up too, according to his dreamy gaze.

“Did we fall asleep?” he asked you, yawning and stretching his arms from his body.

As you looked up, Jimin was standing in front of both of you, confusion was written all over his face, “What the hell are you two doing in here? How do I keep finding you two together?”

Taehyung shrugged, sitting up as you were doing the same, “What does it look like? We obviously fell asleep.”

“Okay but why were you here together in the first place?” he asked, a smirk on his lips, “Did you make out in front of the cows? They are too young to be exposed to such wild and unholy behavior.”

Chuckling at his remark, you rubbed your eyes a bit, “Don't be noisy, please. I’m having a headache.”

“You two are just too cute,“ he teased a bit before telling you the reason he was looking for you in the first place, “Dinner’s ready. We’re having some meat with different salads and corn. Feel free to join us Tae, your mum and Olli are there too.”

“I don’t know,“ he replied, a little unsure, “I still wanted to meet up with Namjoon and Hoseok later.”

Jimin narrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you ask me to join, you jerk?”

Taehyung laughed at Jimin, standing up, surprisingly offering you a hand to help you get up from the ground, “I’ll eat dinner with you and then you can come with me, alright?“ he proposed to Jimin.

Your cousin agreed happily and the three of you walked over to the big house Minwoo and Jimin lived in.

“Did you find her?” your uncle screamed from the kitchen as he heard the door open.

“Yes, I’m here,“ you shouted back as you took off your shoes.

Walking over to them, Mrs. Kim was surprised to see her son, “Oh, Tae. How lovely that you’re here,“ she smiled as cute as always, “Where have you been?”

Both, Taehyung and you felt a bit awkward telling them where exactly Jimin found them, not wanting anyone to get a wrong idea. But, of course, your annoying cousin was faster.

“They were sleeping in the barn together,“ he smirked as he told your family, enjoying every minute of it, “You two seem to get along better by now.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “We were literally just taking care of the cows.”

You nodded, “It’s not like we met to take a nap in the barn.”

Uncle Minwoo and Mrs. Kim both giggled a bit at the bickering between their families, “Stop teasing them. They are already flustered,“ she said lightheartedly.

Everyone sat down on the table as your uncle brought the food to the table. It smelled like you were sitting in a restaurant and you could feel your mouth watering as you saw the food.

“Thank you for letting us eat with you,“ Taehyung said in a polite manner.

“Oh, Tae!” Minwoo exclaimed joyfully, “You’re always welcome. We’re like family.”

He nodded thankful as all of you started eating. The food was truly delicious and the conversation was nice, all of you participating in it, talking about current events and life on the farm.

You weren't sure if it was because your families were there but Taehyung was unusually nice to you, not even nagging you once. He passed you the salt when you asked him to and he even asked you about your job back at home.

It was a nice evening and you cherished it, knowing that it probably was a once in a lifetime experience to have a normal, peaceful conversation with Taehyung in the same room as you.

About an hour later you started walking from the big house to the small hut and even if it only took a minute or two Taehyung walked right beside you, not leaving your side.

Maybe he truly wasn't as bad as you made him out to be – the two of you might have had some difficulties but thinking about it now he seemed to open up to you more and more. As both of you stood in front of your door, you fiddled with your hands, not knowing how to react to being all alone with him.

“Don’t let Jimin drink too much tonight. I need him to be fit tomorrow. It’s my day off,“ you joked.

“I promise to stop him if he drinks too much,“ he smiled brightly, the wrinkles around his eyes showing slightly, “I’ll see you around?”

A scoff escaped your lips before you could hold it back, “Considering the fact that you can look inside my living room from your window I think so yes.”

And with that, he started walking towards his house but even after he was gone you still couldn't stop smiling.

The few next weeks were pretty unspectacular, working on the farm was part of your everyday life by now and your work was a routine, knowing every small step of it.

But still, today you woke up with a smile plastered on your face – it’s not like anyone besides Jimin and Minwoo, maybe Yoongi, would know it’s your birthday today but you still loved your special day.

It didn't matter that no one would know, you were quite happy that to everyone else this day would be just another day. You, on the other hand, had tons of self-care plans for tonight.

The first thing you did that morning was checking your phone, happy to see that your friends from home – or more like what used to be home to you – thought of you and send you very nice birthday greetings full of love, telling you that they missed you. In no time you got up and dressed to go over to the main house.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Jimin asked you as you had breakfast with him and your uncle. Despite you telling them that they shouldn't worry about you, they still made you some scrambled eggs and cut a lot of the vegetables from the Kim’s farm, Jimin even managed to go to the heart of the city to buy some buns for all of you.

Stretching yourself, tiredness still washing over you, you thought about his question. “I actually don’t know, I thought I'd just do some sheet masks later and watch Netflix,” you said shrugging before eating a piece of cucumber, “Why? Any ideas?”

“Why don’t you invite your friends over, (y/n)?” your uncle suggested but you’d rather not. The problem with inviting people over is you can’t leave early since they are literally at your own place and you'd never kick them out, not wanting to be unfriendly.

“No way, I don’t even think most people know about my birthday. I’ll stay lowkey about it,“  you denied your uncle's request, just wanting to have a nice night on the couch after you took a long bath – an ideal night for you.

“Why don't we have a movie night?” you suggested to your two family members but they didn’t seem to show much support to your idea.

Uncle Minwoo immediately stopped you, “I’m not letting you stay at home with your old uncle and cousin on your birthday.”

“I’d love that though. We hadn’t had a movie night in a long time,“ you pouted, hoping to convince your uncle despite knowing you had no chance against him.

“Jimin, take her to the pub, alright?” he instructed his son who was currently not listening to the conversation and instead was texting someone.

“Sure,“ he agreed with his father before looking up from his phone, “I’ll take you to the pub later, (y/n). No discussion.”

So a few hours later you found yourself in your small bathroom, putting on a real full face make-up for the first time ever since you moved here, you almost forgot how pretty you could be.

Jimin said to make sure that you looked your best since a lot of other people would be there, including the girl he ‘sometimes takes out’, as he liked to call it.

Even though you were still not fully in the mood, you started to warm up to the idea of going out as you got ready. In the end, you knew it wouldn't hurt to doll yourself up and go out every now and then – and maybe, just maybe, Taehyung would be there too.

Jimin picked you up from your place at around eight in the evening, the sky already pitch-black.

“Hey birthday kid,“ he said lovingly, “I didn't know you could look this lovely. Trying to impress a certain boy?”

Throwing him a glare that was about to end his life you were ready to hit your cousin if he wouldn’t stop mentioning your attraction towards your neighbor. You prayed he didn’t tell Tae about it, his ego was big enough and you didn’t know if you could survive if he’d become even cockier. Taehyung knew how handsome he was and that he could probably get just any girl if he wanted already so you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t shut your mouth,“ you threatened him even though you knew that nothing could stop Jimin's teasing ever.

Arriving at the Pub, you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot – all of your friends were waiting inside, a whole booth decorated just for you. Yoongi was the first to welcome you, hugging you tightly. “Happy Birthday, princess,“ he almost whispered into your ear before the other people were waiting for their turn to congratulate you.

Hoseok and Namjoon were there, including Namjoon’s girlfriend, that you hadn’t met before. Jungkook, of course, was there too and even gifted you some sunflower. “Those are my favorite!” you told him excited, to which he replied that he still remembered.

Jimin introduced you to his almost-girlfriend and she seemed to be a nice girl, a bit smaller than him, with cute glasses, short hair and a nose ring that she pulled off like no one else could.

And last but not least Kim Taehyung was standing in front of you, trying to look cold and unbothered like always, but his eyes were sparkling a bit, giving away that he wasn't as cool as he wanted to be.

“You’re here!” you gasped, genuinely excited to see him, “I feel honored.”

He shook his head joyful. “Don’t let it get to your head. Happy birthday, farmer girl,“ for the first time ever Taehyung hugged you, and you hated to admit that it felt quite comforting – the hug didn’t feel awkward or forced at all, he even had his hand on your head, right in your hair.

Yoongi and Jimin, who were standing behind Taehyung, were inspecting the hug you shared, drawing hearts with their fingers in the air for only you to see as you turned red.

“(Y/n), we got a present for you! Come on, sit down,” Hoseok happily singsang from the table and Taehyung let you go, way too early for your liking, but you weren’t complaining – you appreciated what you got this far.

As you sat down beside Yoongi, Taehyung sat right next to you, pretty close since you were sitting on a small bank with five people.

The booth was decorated with a paper chain that spelled “Happy Birthday”, a few presents were waiting for you on the table, right next to many glasses and several bottles of alcohol.

“This one is from me, Hoseok and Seokjin,“ Namjoon said excited, handing you a present.

Opening it you couldn’t help but pout at their heartwarming idea: They gifted you a framed picture the four of you when you were little, you were maybe around three to four years old.

„God, we were so small,“ you chuckled, studying the picture.

Hoseok smiled wholeheartedly, “There’s a little wheel on the side that you have to move,“ he explained and so you did – as you turned the little wheel more pictures of your friends and you appeared, all of them from different years.

“I love it,“ you smiled at them, “I'll find a special place to display it, I promise.”

“Open our’s next,“ Yoongi said, an untrustworthy smirk on his face. “It’s from me and Jimin.”

Just because you knew the two of you too well, you didn’t trust them at all.

“I bet it’ll get also a very, very special place at your home,“ Jimin assured you and you just knew at that point they probably got you something very stupid.

And they did – you let out a deep breath, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Thanks, I really needed that,“ you said sarcastically as you hold the box of the vibrator they gifted you in your hand.

Both of the boys bursted out into laughter, making you sigh.

„You think you're so funny, don't you? How old are you? Fourteen?“ you snipped both of their foreheads but still, a chuckle managed to slip out. Not really because you thought the present was funny but more because the boys were so amused by their own idea.

“We know the nights get lonely here,“ Jimin said, still laughing like a teenager, “Much fun with it. Just call Taehyung if you need any help with it.”

“Yeah, no, thanks, I think I can handle that on my own,“ you quickly responded before anyone else could join their nagging, “I really need a shot now. Otherwise, I won't be able to deal with you.”

Yoongi immediately poured a round of shots for everyone, “To our little (y/n).”

All of your friends clinked glasses and downed the shot. Within a few hours, one shot became quite a few, too many to count them. Jimin and his girl were making out heavily in the corner of the pub – much to your disgust. While you were happy for your cousin you still could imagine better things than seeing your family member's tongue in someone's mouth.

Yoongi, you, Seokjin, Namjoon and Taehyung were currently playing a card drinking game that you not only never heard of before but was also killing you at a fast pace.

“(Y/n), your turn,“ Taehyung glanced at you, raising his eyebrow – his cheeks were red and the sloppy smile on his face gave away that he also was at least a bit intoxicated by now, “Red or black?”

That was the whole point of the game, basically the only rule. You had to say a color and if the card didn’t have the color you had to take a shot. Seokjin said it was the best game to get really drunk really fast, and boy, he was right.

“Red”, you answered or to be exact, mumbled since you had a hard time pronouncing your words clearly by now.

And, of course, luck wasn’t on your side - as Taehyung turned around the card it showed black. “Tae~“ you let out a whine as he laughed, “I literally cannot drink this shot or else I’ll throw up.”

Your head was turning and your stomach felt warm and tingly, a part of you suddenly felt playful and giggly, which was pretty unusual for you. Looking at Taehyung you felt something deep down in your stomach – the way his rather long and curly hair fell into his face and his tanned skin was glowing was a beautiful sight. God, you really wanted to blame it on the booze but deep down you were aware that you were just fooling yourself.

“You’re no fun,“ he almost whined before taking the shot, “I’ll take it for you since it’s your birthday.”

“Oh, what a gentleman you are,“ you nudged him.

“Just trying to get drunk,“ he shrugged laughing before downing the shot as if it was nothing.

Your glance waved over to Jungkook, who was e the drunkest, his eyes slowly closing. “Jungkook!” you poked his upper arm, not sure if you should laugh or be concerned, “Are you passing out?”

“Hmm?” he responded, trying to open his eyes but failing, “Oh no. I’m just taking a nap.”

You peeked to Taehyung beside you, questioning him what to do, “Are you going to babysit him?”

He scoffed, “That isn’t my problem to deal with.”

About two hours later you decided that it was time to go home, having to admit that you did have fun despite wanting to stay home at first. You thanked everyone and grabbed your bag.

“What about you?” you asked Taehyung who was sitting on his phone, texting someone with his eyebrows furrowed, “You’re staying?”

His eyes met yours as he looked up from his phone, “No, I’m walking you home. Give me a second.”

You decided to wait outside, in need of some fresh air to sober you up.

Slowly, you started to walk towards your home, knowing Taehyung would be able to catch up in no time. And he did, of course.

“Oh!” he looked at you with wide eyes as he arrived by your side, before opening his bag, looking for something, “It’s your birthday!”

“No shit, Sherlock,“ you responded unimpressed at his sudden realization, walking through the little city at night, still not used to how beautiful the stars were here, „You just got that now?“

“No, wait. I actually got you something,“ the boy mumbled and you thought you heard wrong for a second. At least until Taehyung handed you a box, a rather big one.

“Are you serious?” you asked surprised, suddenly feeling shy. This morning you were convinced he didn’t even know it was your birthday but now he was standing in front of you, with a present that was neatly wrapped in yellow wrapping paper.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, please,“ he chuckled as you two walked through the dark night, only a few lanterns on your way home, “Just open it. It felt wrong not to get you anything. I mean, we’re neighbors now, and also co-workers.”

Your arm nudged him, playfully asking, “Maybe even friends?”

His laugh seemed to be even louder and happier when he’s drunk, “Says who? You wish!” before immediately adding, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Maybe even that. Now open it. Let’s sit down.“

Your neighbor gestured at the bank on the side of the way, a few steps away.

He took out his phone to turn on the flashlight so you could see, sitting dangerously close to you. “Why didn’t you give it to me earlier?” you asked him curiously.

“You know, I gotta keep my cool reputation in front of them,“ he joked.

“Ah, can’t let them know that you have a crush on me?” you blurted out, trying to flirt, knowing you would never say those things if it wasn’t for all the shots you drank earlier.

“You’re a pain in the ass,“ he mocked you a bit, “Will you please just open it now? There are a few smaller things.”

As you ripped open the wrapping paper you let out a laugh, impressed by his first present, “A raincoat? I could’ve seen that one coming.”

“I still can’t believe you don’t own one. Look underneath, there’s also a shirt you can use for work so you won’t ruin your good clothes,“ he said, almost proud of his idea and it was adorable.

The shirt was grey and oversized - and also, there was a picture printed onto it. Taehyung let out another laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to stop him from laughing harder, before you could see what was on it.

As he shined his flashlight on the picture you were not only extremely amused but also very amazed that he did that for you, even though he obviously was trying to be funny, you genuinely liked it – the picture was a selfie of Taehyung, giving a thumbs up, right next to his favorite being on this earth, Bertha. Underneath the picture the sentence ‘(Y/n), you can do it. I hope.’ was written in big letters.

“You’re seriously the worst,“ you joined his laughter, wondering how in the hell he got this idea. The atmosphere was almost friendly – a new step for the two of you. Not that you didn’t like him before, you just thought that he didn’t like you back.

“I think you’ll look quite good in it, (y/n),“ he smiled proudly, definitely satisfied with himself.

“You’re such a flirt,“ you said sarcastically.

The last gift in the box really got to you though - it immediately brought back a lot of memories, cherished ones, of your childhood. An overwhelming rush of sentiment came over you as you couldn't believe your eyes.

“Tae, I–” you were looking for the right words to say but none came to your head, “Is it what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s your old music box that played Somewhere Over The Rainbow over and over again, then it is, yes,“ he replied, playing it cool as if it wasn't a big thing.

You totally forgot about it until now, back in the day you always used to play it before going to bed, falling asleep immediately to the soothing sound of it – back then it didn't matter where you were: you wouldn't fall asleep without the petite woodbox playing your favorite song.

“Where did you even get this?“ you asked him, gulping.

“Oh, Minwoo gave it to me to calm the cows on thunder days,“ he said amused.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,“ you chuckled, still inspecting the music box. It seemed to be even prettier than you remembered it.

“Do you like it?” he asked, turning towards you, “I know how obsessed you were with it as a child so I thought you’d like to have it back. The cows didn’t like it anyway.”

Your eyes met his, not knowing what to say. He was so cool about it when to you, this might be one of the most meaningful presents you've gotten in a long time. The fact that he even remembered how in love you were with this music box and how thoughtful of him it was to give it back to you. Slowly you put the box down, still feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was probably stupid, for him it was just a simple present and you were overreacting, right? But still, it was so much more than you would’ve expected. Especially from him

“I love it,“ you assured him, the wrinkles around his eyes deeper than you’ve ever seen them before. “Thank you so much.”

Before he could say something to ruin the moment you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his collar. It took him a few moments to realize what was happening, a hug was something he didn’t expect at all, but it did feel nice. His arms carefully found your waist and hugged you back.

You could see how red his cheeks were as your hug ended but for once you decided to not tease him, not wanting to ruin a genuinely nice moment. The two of you didn’t have those very often.

“Shall we go home?” Taehyung asked softly as he stood up, waiting for you to join him.

The two of you were walking for a while, way slower than usual. It might be the alcohol in your veins or simply the secret desire to spend some more time together, alone and outside of the farm.

“Be honest,“ you started carelessly, it almost sounded like you were singing it, “You do think I’m cute.”

Looking up to Taehyung you saw that he was smiling and didn’t seem to care about your teasing anymore.

“I do think you’re cute. That doesn’t make you less any annoying though,“ he replied, his tone almost playful. As you were walking your shoulders were lightly brushing every now and then, a rush of excitement going through your body every single time.

“Now you be honest. You were totally checking me out when you saw me on the day you moved here,“ he countered, the conversation light.

You let out a small scoff, “I maybe would have if I hadn’t been to busy trying to free myself from your grip since you thought I was stealing your chicken,“ you snapped at him and Taehyung let out a laugh at that memory. Even though it wasn’t long ago it felt like years, considering how much your relationship developed since then.

“Your turn. You would’ve gone home sooner but you were waiting to walk me home,“ the vibe Taehyung gave you told you it was okay to dig a bit deeper.

“Now you’re just being overconfident, (y/n),“ he laughed and you thought about how his laugh is so different than his mum’s. His mother's laugh was light and charming while his laugh was deep and full of joy, almost bold and loud.

“If you say I’m wrong you’re lying,“ you insisted while looking up to the beautiful night sky, not letting loose. Even though you were a bit cold you didn’t really care, you could walk and talk for a few more hours without complaining.

“I never said you’re wrong,“ he answered quietly, now more soft and serious, “But don’t let it get to your head, I know my mum would kill me if she heard that you had to walk home alone.”

“You’re so in love with me dude, how gross,“ you joked, not able to stop your usual nagging.

By now it seemed like that was Taehyung’s and your’s thing somehow. It was an open secret that there was something between the two of you, whatever that was. Maybe, you and Taehyung were still denying it but your friends weren't completely wrong when they talked about your relationship to each other.

“I really don’t know if I wanna shove you off this bridge or kiss your annoying ass,“ he stated shamelessly, trying to sound annoyed but his mood was just as good as yours and the cheeky flirting was something he missed over the last years.

It’s been too long since he met someone he liked so much that he didn’t have to care about what he said. Spending time with you made him feel careless. The night air and the sky that was full of stars just loosened up the mood even more.

Even though your heart was beating faster at his comment you tried to remain cool – he said it so casually as if the topic of kissing you was something completely normal to him, making you realize that maybe Taehyungand you were indeed becoming something more than friends.

“Oh, can I pick?”, you grinned at him.

“No,“ he answered easily while pushing you towards the edge of the bridge you were currently walking on, making you gasp a bit, while trying to balance yourself so you wouldn’t fall over the low wooden railing.

What exactly was he doing? Just in the right moment, he held you, his arm around your waist, being a bit too close to you which was making your heart beat insanely fast. As you looked at him your eyes were opened wide, the shock written all over your face.

Taehyung still was holding you close, giving you the brightest smile ever, his expression full of joy, “Did you really think that I’d let you fall?”

“Yes!“ you almost shouted out of shock, a hundred percent sure that he’d actually do something like that, “If anyone in this town would then it would be you.”

He acted a bit offended, as he pulled your body a bit closer to his again, your intestines feeling all over the place. Half of your body was still bent over the bridge as Taehyungs hold was the only support that stopped you from falling right into the water. His face came near yours and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on yours.

“Well, if you think that lowly of me,“ he started, before pausing his sentence, you could swear that you could feel his breath tingling on your lips and see his eyes wandering down to look at your them – but before anything else could happen you started losing balance as Taehyung let go of your body, making you fall right into the lake behind you.

Of course, he’d do something like that. You should've guessed that.

As you came up again you were drenched. The water was at least still warm enough to not make you shiver while climbing up to the bridge again. Taehyung was laughing wholeheartedly, his one hand once again covering his mouth, while holding his other hand out for you so he could help you.

You immediately took his offer, taking a tight grip on his hand before getting your revenge – within seconds Taehyung forcefully joined you in the water, his eyes popping out when you completely caught him off guard.

“I should’ve seen that coming,“ he admitted, now also completely wet but still amused, “I deserved that.”

The two of you were chuckling, no one of you seemed to want to get out of the water for now.

“Remember the one time we were having a contest here about who can stay underwater the longest when we were children?” you asked him thinking back to older days, one of the few memories you had with him.

He nodded while walking towards you, leaning his back against the bridge. His body was close to yours, his face facing yours, “I remember you and Jimin being afraid because you thought I fainted because I let my body swim on the surface with my head under the water still.”

Hitting his chest, you squinted your eyes, “You were the worst, seriously! Why would you do this to me? I was so afraid.”

His arm found your hip, resting lazily on it - you wondered if he’d also do that if he was completely sober, “To make good memories.”

“Well, that’s also about our only memory because you always avoided me when we were younger,“ you stated, a bit salty.

His laughter sounded different this time, if you didn’t know better you’d almost say there was some kind of admiration in it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,“ he apologized, putting his hands up in the air, still laughing before looking at you once again – it’s like you completely forgot about being in the water now in the middle of the night.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asked you, whispering as if you had to be careful to not get caught.

“Always,“ you answered eager as your eyes widened in excitement.

“I avoided you because I had the biggest crush on you and Yoongi always said girls suck and if anyone of us ever kissed a girl they’d be kicked out of the gang,“ he admitted, smiling back at the memory.

“Okay, but Yoongi was literally my first kiss,“ you confessed to him, “I think he knew exactly why he told you that.”

Now it was Taehyung who was in shock, not you. “You’re kidding me,“ he sounded offended, “I can’t believe he’d play me like this because of some chick.”

“Hello? I’m right here,“ you scoffed, shaking your head amused.

“Oh, I bet you’d rather be where Yoongi is, huh?” he stared you down for a second before breaking character and starting to laugh, “But seriously, he never even told me. He knew I’d fight him about it.”

“It must be hard to always be as dramatic as you are,“ you scoffed, as you got out of the water again, starting to shiver a bit, “Let’s go home, I’m cold.”

He got out of the water too and you tried hard not to stare at his chest that was completely showing through his white shirt.

“You should have put on a jacket,“ he shrugged, acting as if it's your fault that you were completely drenched and cold.

“You little shit,“ you countered as the two of you were walking towards your home, “I’m only cold because you pushed me into the lake.”

“I had fun tonight,“ you admitted to him as you were standing in front of your door once again, “You’re not awful.”

“Thank you?”, he laughed unsure before he continued, “You’re also not awful, (y/n).”

“I mean, you were not the nicest in the beginning, I thought you hated me. But now, I think you tolerate me,“ you said, a winning smile on your face.

“Believe it or not, I think you’re pretty cool,” he mirrored your smile, nodding.

“I’ll let my diary know about that,” you assured him.

He just stood there for a second, looking at you. Both of you didn’t want to part, enjoying time with each other but you didn’t want things to get awkward.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into the water,“ he mentioned, laughing while apologizing.

You rolled your eyes at his half-assed apology, “Yeah sure. You better make up for that.”

He nodded, “I will. I promise. Good night, (y/n).“

Suddenly you felt him hugging you, not expecting it once again. Three hugs in one day were something you didn’t expect at all when you woke up this morning.

“Sleep well,“ you told him as you closed the door behind you, removing your make up, changing into comfortable clothes and letting yourself fall into your bed, falling asleep with a smile on your lips. You were definitely making progress.

A few days after your birthday and the situation with Taehyung, it was about time to talk to someone about your confusing feelings. Yoongi was the first person that came to your mind, definitely not wanting to talk to Jimin about it.

As the two of you were sitting outside on your porch, drinking a beer and enjoying the sunset slowly going down, you decided to tell him about what happened after you and Taehyung left on your birthday.

“He gifted you your old music box?” he asked confused, almost shocked, “That’s so much better than the vibrator we gifted you, dammit.”

You let out a laugh, “Anything is better than that.”

“Well, apparently you won’t be needing it any time soon if you and Taehyung continue to fall in love at that pace,“ your best friend gave you a small wink.

“Yoongi,“ you let out a pout, “I really don’t know what I should do. He was about to kiss me by the lake but instead, he let me fall into the water.”

He was trying his hardest to contain his laughter as you told the story but he couldn’t help it, “You really think he’s the one you want? I bet not even Jungkook would behave that awkward.”

Chuckling, you shrugged, “I guess I just like a challenge.”

Yoongi nodded, “He definitely is one. Bare with him, it’s been some time. His last girlfriend and him broke up quite some time ago.”

When Yoongi mentioned the word gilfriend you felt curiosity awakening inside of you, “What was she like?”

Taking a sip of his beer, he glanced at you, a bit pitiful, “Are you sure you wanna do this to yourself?”

“I’m just curious,“ you assured him, „No hard feelings.“

Before Yoongi could start telling you about her you were disturbed by your cousin, who just finished his work, a beer in his hand as he sat down on the free chair on your table, „What are you talking about?”

“My hopeless crush,“ you said, laughing.

“What else,“ he shrugged, unimpressed, “You could still date Jungkook, you know.”

You shook your head before turning back to Yoongi, “So, tell me about her, I can’t imagine him with a girl at all.”

“Are we talking about Elly?” Jimin asked confused, trying to catch up with your conversation.

“Yes,” Yoongi said, trying to start once again before getting interrupted by Jimin, also once again.

“She wasn’t shit, (y/n). Don’t worry about her. I never liked her. They weren’t even really a couple.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “She wasn’t all bad, Jimin. She was actually quite nice at the beginning. She’s from the town next to ours, the granddaughter of the owner of the library – we were friends with her back then when she still visited every weekend. I guess she was into Tae from the first second and he was, well, frustrated. So they became friends with benefits. Nothing too serious at first.”

“(Y/n), I really don’t get why you’d wanna know. You’ll just hurt yourself,“ your cousin seemed to worry, clearly disagreeing with your curiosity.

“They broke up so I won’t be hurt, I just can’t imagine him in a relationship at all. I need some information for research,“ you argued.

“He was a good boyfriend, I guess,“ Jimin thought about it, taking a big gulp of his beer, “Like he visited her often and made sure to bring her to every event or birthday. But one of them would always start a fight and it got so annoying over time. Every time he brought her I was afraid to say anything to him because if I only said one wrong word she’d start to discuss with him.”

Yoongi now interrupted him, “Well, it wasn’t only her who started fights, to be fair. Taehyung often enough started one too, whenever he was in a bad mood he’d always find a reason to fight.”

A scoff came out of your mouth, “I already thought he’d be one to pick fights, to be honest.”

“Speaking of the devil,“ Yoongi nodded towards the house of the Kim’s and as you turned around you saw Taehyung jogging over to you. He seemed to be in a good mood, a smile on his lips, something rather unusual.

“Why are you having a nice evening and no one cared to call me?” he asked as he arrived in front of you, holding up a big plate with many different pieces of cakes on it, “I brought cake.”

Jimin immediately took the plate and set it down in front of him as Taehyung sat down on the free seat on the bench beside you.

“We were just talking shit about you,“ Jimin started, getting up to get some forks from inside.

“Why? What did I do?” he asked, already sounding offended, ready to defend himself without knowing what even seemed to be the problem.

“I just told them about how you let me fall into the lake,“ you huffed, salty, not letting it go easily.

“Why would you do that?” he asked in a whiny tone, “Aren’t they teasing us enough already?”

“I don’t care about that. I still can’t believe you’ve done that. I could’ve caught a cold.”

He now crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You didn’t though, right? I brought you cake as an apology, just to find you hanging out with our friends, without me?”

Yoongi let out a laugh at your constant bickering, “Young love must be so nice.”

“Be quiet,“ you gave him a warning glance before you turned back to the real enemy here, “You think cake can just fix the trust I lost in you?”

He let out a laugh, “You’re being overdramatic.”

Actually, you couldn’t care less that he let you fall into the lake. It was just fun to pick fights with him, “You’re being an asshole.”

He scoffed before continuing your discussion in a mocking voice, “Wanted me to kiss you so bad that you can’t get over the fact that I didn’t?”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting his comeback. Yoongi and Jimin were both trying no to laugh watching the two of you fight.

“If you think that, you’re truly delusional,“ you stated, even though everyone here knew he was right, “The only reason I didn’t kill you right then was because I was so relieved you didn’t kiss me.”

He snorted, not ready to give up yet, “Sure, just keep on telling it to yourself until you start to believe it.”

And this is how you spent the rest of the evening. Three of your closest friends, cake, one or two or maybe even more beers, a beautiful pink sunset and most important - in the place you loved to call your home.

“(Y/n), give me a hand, please,“ your neighbor screamed from the other side of the farm, struggling to put up the pavilion that was supposed to cover the tables from the weather.

It was a warm autumn day but you knew that it could basically start to pour any second. Quickly you jogged over to Taehyung, leaving Jimin alone with the other preparations for the big harvest festival that was held once a year on the farm. It was a tradition you used to love as a child and you were more than happy to participate again this year.

As you walked over you couldn’t help but notice how mesmerizing he looked once again. There was sweat dripping down his face while he gave you a light and exhausted chuckle, holding up one side of the pavilion with his rather strong arms. The white shirt and grey sweatpants he was wearing might as well be the death of you. Oh god, you definitely hated being attracted to him.

“What’s up, Kim?” you asked, desperately trying to sound as unbothered as possible.

He, on the other hand, continued to smile, shaking his head, “Can you please hold up the other side over there?” he asked, pointing to it, “I’ll do the rest.”

You went over and held up the other side, having to stand on your tiptoes. “Are you excited for tonight?” you asked him, desperate to make conversation with him. Even though by now Taehyung was being very nice to you, you were still always trying to make him like you. Even though Jimin and Yoongi assured you he likes you quite a lot by now you still wanted him to admit to it. His attention was your favorite thing at the moment, you couldn’t get enough of it.

He shrugged while concentrating on a screw he was currently trying to get in, “Not really. It’s not gonna be different than any other year.”

“I’m here now so it is gonna be different than before,” you said, making him look up from his work for a second, his eyes finding yours.

“So, you’re going to make the harvest festival interesting again?” you saw the smirk on his face before continuing, “Don’t get up my hopes.”

“Share a bottle of liquor with me and I bet we’ll have a lot of fun,” you stated boldly, immediately embarrassed at your way too obvious flirting. At this point, you were sure that he was very aware of your obvious crush on him. He was many things. Rude, annoying, sometimes even a bit mean but delusional wasn’t one of them.

“Are you flirting with me, (y/n)?” he asked almost a bit teasingly.

“I am,” you said, trying to sound confident but you were pretty sure your now deep red cheeks were giving you away.

He seemed to be amused and he shook his head in what seemed to be joy.

“Not bad,” was all he said, shrugging before his full attention was back on building the pavilion.

You looked around the big farm as Taehyung was working. It looked beautiful, there were a lot of tables with benches, all of them had some flowers and candles on top of them, you could only imagine how cute it would look as soon as the sky was dark and all the candles were lit.

Jimin was currently preparing some baskets filled with eggs, milk, some wool, all different kinds of fruits and vegetables and even some feathers you picked up from the pond where the ducks stayed as a lucky charm – your uncle and Taehyung’s mother would sell them later on, the people always loved those little baskets.

Taehyung’s mother was inside, preparing food for the night. She was overdoing herself, cooking four different kinds of soups, baking too many loaves of bread for the visitors to eat, she even has been baking all kind of cakes since yesterday night.

“Your mum is an angel,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him but Taehyung still heard you, laughing a bit.

“She just really loves the harvest festival. But yes, I agree, she really is,” he answered without looking at you, “There’s gonna be plenty of leftovers tomorrow, I’ll bring you some if you want.”

You nodded even though he didn’t see, “I’d love that.”

“Hey, (y/n)!” Gus, the owner of the restaurant, came up to you. He drove up here in his truck, the whole back of it filled with different meals that he contributed for tonight, “Where should I put the fish and meat?”

Taehyung told you that you could leave and help Gus for now so you showed him where the food was being served. There was a long in the middle of the farm, where Gus’ and Mrs. Kim’s food was going to be sold later on. It was opposite to the little dancefloor your uncle built earlier, he even got a pretty good sound system for the night. You already anticipated seeing all of the older people dance later, it was always very cute to see them be happy. All the tables to sit on were placed in between the dancefloor and the food.

As you were helping Gus’ to carry the food you saw Yoongi and his parents coming up to you.

“Hey cutie,” your best friend greeted you as he put down the three beer crates he was casually caring like they didn’t weigh anything, “How are things going?”

“I’m really excited for tonight,” you cheered with a wide smile on your lips, “My last harvest festival was years ago, I still had to go to bed at eight o’clock at that time.”

He let out a laugh, “Oh, that’s when the fun is just starting.”

You only managed to finish all the work an hour before the first people came to the festival. Within no time the whole farm was filled with people as the sun was slowly going down.

You didn’t expect so many people to actually show up. Not only the whole village was attending tonight’s fest but a lot of them also brought their family from out of town, a lot of faces you’ve never seen before.

It luckily didn’t rain yet and you were hoping it would stay that way for the rest of the night. The sky was dark now and all the candles were lit, making the atmosphere cozy. People were eating, drinking and enjoying themselves, some even danced to the 80′s music that was playing already.

You were sitting on the side of a table, just looking around and appreciating everything as a few of your friends came up to you.

“Don’t you wanna eat something?” Jungkook asked you, nodding towards the table with the food, “We were just about to grab something, join us.”

“Let’s also grab a drink or two,” your cousin, who clearly already had more than just a drink or two, his bright pink cheeks exposing him, shouted as he came up behind Jungkook, Yoongi and Yoongi’s girlfriend.

Your mouth watered as you saw, and especially smelled, the food that was offered. Now you were very thankful that you didn’t have the time to eat all day. All the food looked amazing and you didn’t even know where to start. Hoseok and Namjoon both went for the meat but you wanted to start with something more light for now, looking at all the soups Mrs. Kim made.

“Try mum’s Italian wedding soup, it’s the best,” you flinched lightly as Taehyung came up behind you out of nowhere, his arm casually resting on your shoulder.

You tried to play it cool in front of your friends but inside you were all tense, just because of Tae being so close to you.

“I’ll have that then,” you agreed, telling his mother who was handing out food tonight. Both you and Taehyung offered her to help out earlier but she insisted that you should just enjoy the evening.

“Of course, my darling,” she poured some of the soup into a big cup, giving you and her son a wide smile, “You two look just adorable together.”

You felt yourself blushing but you were pretty sure that no one would notice in the dark.

“Right? We’ve been telling them the whole time,” Hoseok joined, excitement in his eyes, agreeing with his friends’ mother. You heard a deep, frustrated groan from Taehyung.

“Guys,” he squinted his eyes at both of them with a warning glance but he still was resting his arm on you, not even thinking about removing it, “Can you mind your own business? Just for once?”

Yoongi chuckled at the two of you, knowing exactly that you were trying your hardest to keep your cool, “You know they won’t leave you alone until something happens.”

He was right. But you weren’t sure if and when things would happen. And what those things even would be. When it came to Taehyung you felt more clueless than ever before. Not even your math class in senior year seemed that confusing.

“Yeah, because no one in this town knows how to respect the boundaries of other people,” Taehyung bitterly said through gritted teeth, slightly annoyed but everyone just let out a laugh, not taking him seriously, thinking it’s funny that he gets so worked up over some simple teasing.

“I’m sorry (y/n),” Mrs. Kim turned towards you, apologizing, but you could still see a little amused smile on her lips, “I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t mind at all,” you assured her, “Don’t apologize.”

“I’ll go and get us something to drink,” Yoongi offered after he got some food, his lips already pressed against his girlfriend’s neck again before turning to you, “Save us a seat.”

You waited for the rest to get something to eat and wondered what was suddenly going on with Taehyung, he wasn’t leaving your side at all which was pretty unusual for him. Last week he was still too afraid to give you a birthday present in front of the boys and now he was suddenly even touching you in front of everyone?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered for only you to hear as all of you were looking for a table to sit on. On the way, he let go of you but still was walking right next to you. Not that you minded, you enjoyed the sudden attention he was giving you, you just had to get used to it.

“What for?” you asked him, shrugging lightly, “I don’t care if the guys tease us. They think we’re into each other, they won’t stop anyway.”

“Well, they aren’t so dumb after all, huh?” he still whispered to you, chuckling a bit as he turned around to the others, pointing to a free table, “Let’s sit down over there.”

This little shit was flirting with you.

The soup was amazing. The alcohol was pouring. The atmosphere was loud and filled with banter and laughter. Yoongi and his girl were making out in front of everyone in no time, literally being all over each other. Hoseok, Jungkook and Jimin were screaming along to ‘Come on Eileen’ playing in the background, doing those stupid fortnite dances to the old music, constantly motivating each other to do stupid moves and having the time of their lives. Namjoon was talking to his girlfriend, the majority of your friends still had no idea that they were actually dating and you wondered how they managed to keep it a secret in such a small town like this.

You were just laughing every now and then, enjoying everyone’s presence - an evening like this was exactly what you needed, full of friends and possibilities to make amazing memories.

Looking back at the fact that in the beginning, you were so afraid to start a new life here was ridiculous by now – this was your home, you were doing the thing you love with people you wouldn’t trade for anything. Not in a hundred years would you have thought that you’d find your happiness in this small town.

You carefully dared to look over to Taehyung, hoping he wouldn’t catch you staring – you felt tingly, it might be the wine or the butterflies in your stomach but you felt so much comfort and happiness that you wanted to explode.

The way he was laughing was making you go insane – you got lost in the wrinkles around his eyes and his side profile that seemed to be the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. It was so nice and rare to see him letting go, being completely relaxed and warm. The longer you looked at him the more you craved something deep down in your stomach.

It felt like you were in a movie, the world around you blurred and slowing down while all you could concentrate on was the guy next to you: The guy, that used to be so cold to you and opened up step by step, going from thinking you were stealing chickens to flirting with you in front of everyone.

You secretly hoped that the two of you were figuring out the future of your relationship rather sooner than later, slowly growing impatient. It was obvious to anyone who’d spent only five minutes around you: There was an undeniable tension, a chemistry that both of you felt.

Still staring at him while everyone was laughing and talking he stole a glance from you, seeing that your attention was already completely on him. His features softened as soon as his eyes met yours and the big laughter on his face turned into a small but impactful smile - immediately you felt a rush of confidence running through your veins, your heart beating faster. You hated how you were literally melting for him but you knew exactly that you couldn’t fight it so you might as well let him in.

His eyes were still locked with yours, no one daring to break eye contact. You wondered how this moment could feel so intimate when there were literally 200 people gathered around you – it felt like you were all alone, everyone else was busy cracking jokes while the two of you were busy falling in love. Or at least that was what it felt like.

He gave you a small nod before sitting a bit closer to you, your thighs now touching. “Stop flirting with me. I might just break my cool character and blush,” he joked, making you chuckle before the two of you brought your attention back to your friends who were currently cheering for Jungkook and Jimin, both trying to down their beer faster than the other one.

You shook your head, letting out a laugh at them being messy. Taehyung’s hand sneakily rested on your lower back and you hoped it would stay there for a while.

Jimin finished first and laughed at Jungkook, who was still drinking, “Oh, I can’t believe you thought you could win against me. I’m the king when it comes to drinking,” he bragged.

Yoongi, who was for once breaking free from his girlfriend, shook his head at Jimin, “You’re overconfident. Taehyung, finish him.”

Taehyung let out a groan, “Don’t make me do this.”

“Let’s go Taehyungie, I bet I can beat you easily,” Jimin challenged him, knowing exactly how to provoke his friend.

“Dude, don’t do this to yourself, you’ll lose,” Hoseok yelled, “No one can beat Taehyung, you should know better than that.”

“I trained. And Taehyung didn’t show off his skills in a long time, I think you’re underestimating me,” he insisted, opening another bottle of beer and putting it down in front of Tae.

“Jimin, take it easy. It’s your fourth beer in what? Twenty minutes?” you interrupted, “I don’t wanna clean up all alone tomorrow because you are dying.”

“It’s harvest festival (y/n),” he whined while opening another bottle of wine for you, pouring something into your glass, “You gotta start learning how we do it here.”

Taehyung shook his head, letting out another deep sigh, “You have no chance against me,” he held up his beer and waited for Jimin to do the same.

Jimin had a satisfied smile on his lips, ready to give it his all, “I’m going to fight for your title.”

Taehyung let out a laugh, “That’s cute. Much luck trying.”

All of you were counting down from three and the guys started chugging down the beer like it was a life or death situation. It was stupid and childish but all of you were enjoying it, rooting for Tehyung. If all of your friends could agree on one thing then it would be that Jimin needs to be taken down back to earth every now and then.

You looked at him, your mouth slightly open. One thing you definitely didn’t know about Taehyung was how fast he could drink. He always seemed like the most reasonable and mature guy so you were kind of taken by surprise to see how he downed the bottle in the matter of a few seconds.

“Ha!” he let out, laughing as he put his bottle down, “You’re a fool, dude.”

Jimin let out a laugh, shrugging, “Never thought I had a chance, just wanted you to drink a bit. Who’s the fool now?”

“I didn’t know you could drink like that,” you turned to Taehyung.

“This guy used to get so wasted every weekend, he just acts all pure in front of you,” Namjoon exposed his friend, laughing.

You raised your eyebrow at Taehyung, “Oh, let’s see who can handle more then, shall we?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened surprised, not expecting you to challenge him when it comes to drinking, “You might regret that.”

“I don’t mind regretting a thing or two,” you poured the two of you some shots.

“That’s the spirit,” Jimin cheered, opening another bottle of beer.

Taehyung and you were clinking glasses, “To Bertha!” he mentioned his favorite before both of you downed the shots, making a grimace as the bitter liquor went down your throat.

“That shit tastes horrible,” you stated, making him laugh.

“No one said getting drunk is easy,” he countered before immediately pouring you another shot, “But you wanted this. We can stop if you can’t take it, you know.”

“Definitely not,” you scoffed raising your eyebrow at him and holding up the shot glass, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

“Oh, don’t promise what you can’t keep,” he flirted amused, laughing at you before getting ready to down the next shot, “To you and me.”

Nodding, you gave him a smile, “Whatever that might mean.”

You didn’t know what was faster: The time flying by or your alcohol level rising. It was around midnight now and the night just started. All of you were still drinking eagerly, sharing stupid stories and daring each other to do even more stupid things. The music was loud and the older people were dancing like there’s no tomorrow while you were still sitting at the table, playing cards and taking videos and photos of each other.

Some other girls around your age joined your group, you didn’t know them but the rest did. It was a nice group of people overall.

You still were watching the elders dance, smiling to yourself as your uncle and Taehyung’s mum were dancing with each other, seemingly having the best time.

“Aren’t they cute?” Tae turned to you with a grin, his hand resting right above your knee, slightly squeezing it. You could tell the alcohol had its impact on him because he was getting more touchy by minute, his eyes sparkling.

You nodded, feeling a bit nostalgic seeing them together. They always have been close, both of them lost their significant others early and were left with their children and a whole farm to manage. “It’s nice that they’re having fun. I wish they’d take a break more often.”

Taehyung hummed in agreement, his thumb caressing your leg, “I’m happy Mum has Minwoo. They are always there for each other and talk shit about me and Jimin,” he joked, his eyes still glued to his mother.

He was clearly adoring their little dance while you were adoring him.

“He’s really grateful you’re here.”, you didn’t expect Taehyung to be so serious, a new side of him showing.

“I like being here. Wouldn’t go back,” you told him as you put your hand on top of his, appreciating the moment.

His eyes met yours, not thinking you’d hold his hand in front of everyone, even though no one could see, “You do? I didn’t think you’d fit in or like it here at first if I am honest.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You were very vocal about that if you don’t remember our first encounter as I came back.”

He joined your laughter, giving you an apologetic pout, “I’m sorry. I was being a bit rough, wasn’t I?”

You nodded, “Didn’t expect anything else though. You never opened up towards me when we were younger,” you explained to him in a soft voice, you didn’t want to hurt him with your words.

“I just wondered why you’d move here. I thought it was stupid. What does this little town offer you?” he asked curiously, his eyes glued back to your family.

“This, for example,” you gestured to them, “It’s very heartwarming here. You might not realize because you’ve always been here but this town is full of love.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyebrows a bit, “I bet the actual reason you like it so much here is this cute neighbor of yours.”

You scoffed at his confidence, “Oh, you mean that Taehyung guy? No, he’s just too busy loving himself, I doubt he could ever make time to let someone else in.”

He opened his mouth a bit, acting shocked, “Didn’t you hear?”, he asked you, turning his body to you now to completely face you, “Everyone says he’s a total sucker for you.”

Playing along, you slightly brushed your knees against his, “I don’t think so,” you let out a sigh, “Last week he had the perfect chance to kiss me but instead he threw me into the lake.”

He grinned, not expecting you being so witty. “I’m sure he was just nervous and regrets it very much.”

“I wonder what your sources are. They don’t seem very trustworthy. You know that guy, he has a heart made of stone.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” he came closer to whisper in your ear, “He’s actually a soft man inside.”

“(Y/n)!” your cousin screamed over to you, clearly drunk, ruining your little moment with Taehyung, “Let's go, dance with your favorite cousin.”

You sighed heavily, knowing that refusing won’t work even though you didn’t want the playful banter with Taehyung to end. So a few seconds later you found yourself on the dance floor, jamming to the old classics with your favorite human in town. Taehyung and Yoongi might be close, but no one would beat your family.

The two of you danced around like crazy, exaggerating every move, having fun without any worries for a few songs.

That was until you saw Jimin looking over to the rest of your group, his eyebrows narrowing, a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes - his jaw clenched as he was glaring somewhere. You followed his gaze to see Taehyung talking to a girl you didn’t know. You didn’t think anything of it at first, he didn’t seem very close to her, maybe even a bit uncomfortable.

“That little shit,” your cousin raised his voice, looking at you, “He better doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You threw him a questioning look, no idea what was going on, “What do you mean? They’re just talking.”

He shook his head, “That’s Elly. Elly and Taehyung are never just talking.“

His ex. What did this mean to you? You didn’t feel jealous somehow. The evening was fine, Taehyung was clearly giving all of his attention to you, the two of you weren’t dating, you didn’t even kiss yet. Of course, you hoped that this would change sooner or later, your feelings for him were undeniable at this point and part of you thought that they weren’t one-sided.

Before you said anything, Jimin was losing his temper, “He can’t treat you like this, (y/n). I’m going to talk to him.”

You laughed at his clearly drunken state, shaking your head, “No no, I can manage my relationships alone, don’t worry.”

He tried to look you in the eyes, failing slightly. You were pretty sure that if you’d ask him to touch his nose right now, he’d miss it by miles.

“Why, of all people, Taehyung? He’s too cold for you. I love this dude but I don’t want you to go through a hard time because of him,” he pouted, suddenly wanting to discuss your love life with you.

You knew you shouldn’t laugh, Jimin was being sincere and caring about you right now but his state was so fucked up that you couldn’t help it, “Let’s get you some water.”

Letting out a heavy sigh because you ignored him, he followed you to the Mins’ table where they were selling drinks.

They immediately let out a laugh, “Oh, Jimin,” Yoongi’s mother said amused at his clearly fucked-up state.

“Can we have a water, please?” you asked her as you held Jimin, wishing he’d stay still.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tried to convince you, “I could do a cartwheel without a problem.”

“Please don’t,” you laughed at his confidence, giving him the cup of water and thanking Yoongi’s mother, “Should we go back to the table?”

He nodded and you walked over to your group of friends, handing Jimin over to Jungkook. Looking around you saw that Taehyung was missing. Just as his ex-girlfriend.

Of course, you couldn’t know if they left together. Maybe Taehyung just went home without saying goodbye. Checking your phone to see if he maybe texted you just disappointed you even more. You hated that you suddenly felt so vulnerable. The evening was so much fun up to this point, the fact that such a tiny thing could ruin your mood completely made you feel foolish.

Not daring to ask Yoongi if he knew where he went or if they left together, knowing he’d try to comfort you, making you feel even worse, you said your goodbyes to your friends, claiming you were tired and needed some sleep.

Walking over to your home luckily was only taking you a minute, considering that the harvest festival was held on your farm. The worst thing about all this was that you didn’t know how to feel. Technically, you had no reason to be mad or jealous, Taehyung and you never did anything more than flirting.

On the other hand though, you liked him, so of course, it hurt you that he was probably enjoying himself with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your head hurt from all the alcohol and overthinking. You wished he would at least have said goodbye to you. Maybe, after all, he wasn’t into you as much as you thought. Today would’ve been his chance to make a move otherwise.

Opening your door you almost got scared to death. Your heartbeat was going crazy fast and you were even more confused than before. Just as you accepted the fact that Taehyung left the party with his ex-girlfriend, he was sitting on your sofa, playing games on his phones, waiting for no one else than you.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” you almost screamed, still shocked by the thought that someone broke into your house at first.

He laughed, simply stating, “I know where your spare key is.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “But what are you doing here? Why are you just sitting on my sofa?”

“I wanted to leave the party. But I still wanted to spend time with you.”

“What about Elly?” you blurted out, your eyes immediately widening after you asked, realizing that he and you never talked about her.

He looked at you in shock, “W-What?” you never head him stutter before, “What about her? How do you know?”, the confusion on his face vanished a bit, sighing heavy, “Yoongi told you about her, right?”

You nodded, “It just came up once in a conversation we were having. And when I saw you with her I just assumed you left with her.”

He laughed, looking at you like you were crazy, “Why would I do that?”

You shrugged, not having an answer to his question. “What do I know? Maybe you missed her.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d waste your time like that. And my time also,” he said softly, “Forget about her. She came up to me as soon as you left, trying to talk so I left.”

You nodded, understanding what was going on now, “So, you decided to break into my house?”

“Oh, I can leave if you want me to.“

“That’s not what I said,” you rolled your eyes. Suddenly, there was a pause. Neither of you were saying anything and you felt unsure of how to continue.

“Shouldn’t we clean outside a bit already?” you asked Taehyung, trying to break the silence so you’d get out of this overwhelming situation.

Taehyung, on the other hand, seemed to be very relaxed, he almost felt at home on your sofa. He stood up, coming closer and closer to you, “It can wait until tomorrow.”

When he stopped, he was right in front of you, your feet were almost touching and if someone would push you at this moment, you surely would land on top of him, which actually sounded pretty nice to you. You nodded, trying to sneakily take a deep breath to calm down, you had no idea why you were so nervous. He’s by far not the first guy you kissed but he might be the one kiss you anticipated the most.

His hand slowly ran up your arm, then down again, giving you goosebumps all over your skin, his gentleness making you fall for him even more. His hand found yours and you looked into his eyes, wanting to drown in them as your stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

A small smile formed on Taehyung’s lips as you locked eyes, not able to have a single clear thought. By now you were sure that tonight would be the night you’d finally have him where you wanted him. All for yourself.

Coming nearer, you felt his upper body almost touching yours, his head was leaning in and you saw him slowly closing his eyes as his free hand found your hip, bringing you even closer to him.

The moment before the actual kiss was already breathtaking enough. The mixed smell of his cologne and the alcohol the two of you drank earlier was making you feel dense. The touch of his hand was already burning but as his nose brushed yours slightly, a rush of adrenaline was sent through your whole body, making your stomach turn and you suddenly felt hot in places you didn’t know he had an impact on until now. It was rather quiet, the only sound you could hear was the muffled music from outside, but you couldn’t figure out what song was playing, only feeling the bass of it. Your heart was beating so fast, you hoped he couldn’t hear it.

But all those little and unimportant things around you vanished as soon as you felt his soft lips, pressed onto yours with the perfect amount pressure. The kiss developed from something shy and soft into the projection of what both of you had been craving secretly for so long in no time. No one dared to break the kiss, not wanting it to be over.

His hand wandered all over your body, from your hip to your waist, to your arms, to your neck, right back down to your lower back until he held onto your thighs.

“Jump,” he mumbled hectic, his voice deeper than usual, between your kisses, not wanting to stop.

“Are you sure?” you asked him carefully.

He chuckled into your kiss, “Never been more sure.”

So you did as he told you and jumped up, your legs now crossed around his hips as he held you up like it was nothing, deepening the kiss once again, your tongue playing with his. Being with him like this was more exciting than you ever could’ve imagined.

Your hand found the nape of his neck, burying itself in his soft hair, as he was carrying you to the sofa he was sitting on just a few minutes ago.

So there you were, on top of Kim Taehyung, straddling his muscular thighs, feeling a heat in your core that you haven’t felt in such a long time but missed so much. The way his hands were exploring your body while his lips were busy kissing every single spot on your jaw and your neck was making you feel like you were going insane, leaving you wanting every single part of him.

A small, rather quiet groan came out of your mouth as he pulled you closer to him, not able to suppress what you were feeling any second longer. He chuckled once more, clearly satisfied with the feelings he was giving you, before giving his attention to your lips again.

His one hand was now on your neck, supporting every movement between the two of you, as his other hand was resting on your hip, slowly making you rock back and forth on him, the tension in both of your pants growing.

Slowly, his hand started to wander under your shirt, to a place where you needed him desperately. He was caressing the skin under your shirt carefully, teasing while taking his time. You wanted nothing more than for him to move them upwards towards your breasts, giving you more and more.

His lips were doing its magic on your neck again, kissing and nibbling on a soft spot under your ear as his hand slowly wandered up until his thumb finally found your nipple under your lace bra, the contact making you flinch a bit because of the intense feeling.

He let out a deep groan, sending shivers down your body and an undeniable friction in your underwear grew, making you rock your hips into him once more.

You started to wonder if you were prepared for what was about to happen, the two of you were just starting and you already felt like a mess, wanting him so much more. But he took his time, enjoying every single second of you on top of him.

His hand was now kneading your breast, the pressure just exactly right as he brushed your nipple every now and then, already knowing its effect on you. Every time he touched your bud lightly you couldn’t help but moan.

You let out a small whine as your breast lost contact with his hand, not wanting him to stop. But as you realized that he was only stopping to pull up your shirt you were more than willing to give him what he wanted. Within seconds you were not only shirtless but also braless, as Taehyung was throwing your bra away to the floor.

He studied what you looked like, wanting to never forget this moment. Leaning back on the couch you saw a satisfied smirk on his lips as his hand found your nipple again. He now was looking right into your eyes and you held eye contact with him, trying not to break it as you got wetter every time his thumb was caressing your nipple.

He enjoyed watching you trying to contain yourself for sure. The smirk on his lip was growing now and his glance was filled with a mixture of lust, adoration and mostly, anticipation of what was going to happen next.

You put your hand on his shoulder to support yourself as you started to dry-hump him, letting out a moan, a louder one this time, as you felt his erection under you.

“Shit,” he moaned, breaking eye contact and throwing his head back, his eyes closed as he bit his lip.

All of a sudden he stopped you from your actions, holding your hips down with both of his hand as he looked at you, frustration all over his face, “(Y/n), are you sure about this? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once we started.”

Your heart skipped a beat, appreciating his question but you immediately gave him another kiss, this time a bit softer, kissing him deeply, before whispering into his ears. “Don’t you dare to stop now, Taehyung.”

You could hear his chuckle, his breath on your neck giving you goosebumps. “Thank god,” he said before lifting you up without warning you, making you scream a bit, afraid he’d let you fall.

“Be careful, you scared me to death,” you laughed as you were being carried towards your bedroom.

“You think I’d let you fall?” he said amused, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you countered, making him laugh as he arrived in your bedroom, letting you down on top of your bed - now you were under him, lying down as he was still sitting on his knees, taking in the view of your naked upper body right in front of him, for him only.

You did the same - and what a beautiful view it was. He was hovering over you, your legs between his as he was pulling his top over his head, throwing it away before unbuckling his belt as you were running your hand over his toned chest.

Not long until both of you were only left in your underwear. Taehyung slowly removed your pants, before coming back up to you, supporting himself on his elbows as he gave you a deep kiss, adding tongue and caressing your cheek before looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile.

Taehyung gave you a small smile back, his eyes soft, “I love that smile.”

Before you could think about his compliment, one that he never gave you before, before you could get flustered or say anything back he suddenly changed the game completely, fastly pulling your underwear to the side and sliding one finger inside of you while his thumb was rubbing circles against your clit.

Taken aback by his sudden actions, you let out a loud moan, almost a scream, making Taehyungg smirk a bit before his lips wandered down to your neck once again, taking his time with you as he pumped his finger in and out in just the right rhythm. You moved your hip into his movements as his lips kissed down to your chest, his free hand holding your breast while his mouth teasingly played with your nipple, licking it and twirling his tongue around it, making you a moaning mess already.

Your hand was lightly stroking his dick through his boxers, leaving you wanting more. God, the things you wanted him to do with you were unholy.

The way he glanced at you as he was kissing his way down to your core looked like living art. Your whole body wanted him so bad, just the thought of where his mouth would travel to next or how it would feel when you’d finally feel him inside of you was making you go insane. Never before have you wanted something as much and at the same time hoped he’d take his time before.

Arriving at his destination he let out a moan, definitely being into all of this a bit too much too. He started to slowly kiss your inner thighs, holding your legs up a bit, teasing every part around where you wanted him the most.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, wanting him so much more than you currently had.

He chuckled against your core, the warm air making you flinch, “I thought that’s our thing,” before licking along your wet folds and then adding another finger, his tongue giving all its attention to your clit.

The pace in that he was going down on you was making your knees feel weak. He looked so handsome, his forehead in wrinkles as he was concentrating on pleasing you completely, moans vibrating against you.

It didn’t take long for the two of you until you were having sex, the two of you completely concentrating on the sensational feeling for the next moments.

After you finished you laid down on your stomach, not able to really move, as Taehyung let himself fall right next to you, giving your nose a small peck. He was not only out of breath but also still in trance of what had just happened, “I didn’t expect this,” he breathed, calming down from his orgasm.

You giggled a bit, “What? Us having sex?”

The smile he gave you made your heart race like crazy, his messy hair falling into his eyes, “I’m not complaining though.”

For a second you were lying there, letting Taehyung catch his breath and calming down. You felt your legs shaking from the intercourse you just had.

“Feel my legs,” you ordered chuckling, his hand on your thigh in a second as he felt how much you were shaking.

“Glad you liked it,” he laughed before getting up, “I’ll get you a towel, be right back.”

As you were waiting for him to come back you realized what had just happened. After all the flirting and teasing Taehyung and you actually ended up in your bed. The thought made you dizzy, but it could also be from the alcohol you drank. It seemed too good to be true.

Cleaning you up, you suddenly heard a laugh as he grabbed your ass, “I may or may not have left some marks. I’m sorry.”

You turned you head back, squinting your eyes at him, “You’re lucky no one else sees that part of me. The others would tease me to death about that.”

Slowly, he climbed back up to lay next to you, both of you on your stomach, his hand caressing your side, “Apparently they have a bet going on about when we’re going to end up together.”

“I’m not even surprised. Sounds like them,” you closed your eyes, enjoying Taehyung’s affection, “This feels nice.”

He hummed in agreement before giving you a small kiss, his forehead resting next to yours, “I could stay like this forever.”

“Then stay,” you offered, still not opening your eyes. Taehyung was getting a blanket, throwing it over both of you so you wouldn’t freeze, “Don’t leave. Stay here.”

“You want me to?” he asked, his hand now playing with your hair, “Alright, I’ll stay then. Sleep a bit, it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I will, just give me one more kiss, okay?” you asked him, feeling yourself getting more tired by any passing second.

He chuckled as he came closer to your face once again, holding your face in his hands as he softly pressed his lips onto yours one more time, your naked bodies touching. “Good night, (y/n).”

Falling asleep, everything seemed too good to be true. Taehyung beside you, his scent in your nose as you slowly drifted to sleep in his arms.

As you woke up he was gone. First, you thought you had dreamed about yesterday's events but after a few seconds, you realized that it wasn’t a dream. You got drunk, you had sex, you fell asleep next to him. And now, he was gone.

Standing up, you wrapped your blanket around your naked body, looking for the man that you spend the night with but he was nowhere to be seen.

Well, maybe it was too good to be true.

It’s been five days. Five days since you shared your bed with Taehyung. Five days and your goddamn sheets still smelled like him – or maybe you were hallucinating at this point, wanting just something that reminds you of him around you.

The two of you talked to each other casually when you met on the farm. You said hello and talked about the weather. Shared awkward smiles. And that was about it. It’s not like he was cold to you or anything, he seemed to feel just as helpless and awkward about your drunk night together as you. As much as you loved the night and what happened, you definitely hated the aftermath.

Talking to Yoongi about it didn’t help, sadly. While you appreciate that he always listens to you and is ready to give you advice at any given time, you still had hoped that he’d suggest something else than to give him a bit of time.

The current tension between you was even worse than the sexual tension between you before. You didn’t care if you and Taehyung wouldn’t end up as a couple, of course, you’d like that very much and still hoped that things were going into that direction, but the two of you developed too much to just destroy the nice friendship you built because of feelings getting in the way.

So you decided to visit him that afternoon, feeling anxious as you were walking up the front porch of your neighbors. You barely remember how their house looked like from the inside since it’s been so long since you been inside. The front door stood open and you knocked against it, not wanting to be rude.

“Mrs. Kim?” you called for her as you slowly stepped inside, looking if you could find her but there was no sign of her being home.

Walking up the stairs, you tried to remember which room belonged to Taehyung until you were distracted by something odd and unexpected – suddenly your ears were filled with a beautiful but rather sad piano melody coming from the room on the back of the corridor.

Curious, your feet walked towards the source of the sound, your heart suddenly felt heavy, the sad melody immediately managed to impact your mood, making you feel blue. A part of you wanted to turn around and leave Taehyung alone, just like he probably wanted you to – if you figured out one thing about him over the last few months than it was the fact that this man was a complicated person, hard to read and even harder to talk to, but you decided to accept that. There were only two options: Either you’d work it out with him or you wouldn’t.

You stood in the open door, looking at the back of the man your heart wanted so bad, sitting in front of a big, wooden piano – for a second you couldn’t even believe that he was able to play such a heart touching piece of art, sitting in his room all alone. What a waste it was for him to play all alone, with no one around to hear. It made your heart sting for a second, at this point you liked him too much to go back. Just looking at him being at peace was making you crave to be the woman beside him. After all, he was Kim Taehyung, the one man that managed to surprise you over and over again.

As quiet as possible you walked into the tidy and light room, not wanting to give him a heart attack by creeping up on him but also not wanting him to stop playing. It was a beautiful sight, the way his hands were gliding on the big instrument so smooth and without thinking. You couldn’t see his face yet but you were already swooning over how beautiful he looked.

He looked over his shoulders as you cleared your throat, continuing to play even without paying attention to the keys, giving you an unreadable smile. You sat down on his bed that was placed right beside the piano as he stopped playing.

“Didn’t expect you to come visit me if I am honest,“ Taehyung admitted, almost sounding shy. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable, knowing exactly that he finally had to face the night you shared a few days ago.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be able to play the piano so skillfully but yet, here you are, doing exactly that,“ you countered in a soft tone, not wanting him to feel like you were mad at him, “That sounded beautiful.”

He chuckled and you were happy to see him relax a bit, “You think so? It was rather depressing, wasn't it?”

“Matching your mood?” you dared to ask him carefully, trying to address the whole situation somehow.

He stood up from his chair and walked over to you, sitting down next to you on his bed, “It’s my dad’s birthday today. He taught me the song I just played.”

His voice was full of love while talking about his father but you could hear the hidden sadness behind it. You didn’t know about that and suddenly, you felt guilt rushing over you. While you were wondering why he didn't try to solve the obvious problem between you and him he had something way harder to deal with. Looking up at you, he forced a small smile, “Mum and Olli are visiting his grave but I didn’t feel like going.”

Trying to give him any kind of comfort you nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line. You were surprised that he was opening up to you but as sad as the situation was, it was relieving you that he finally talked to someone about it. According to Jimin and Yoongi he tried to avoid this topic as much as he could.

“Why did you stay here?” you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going and show him your support. What you didn’t want was overwhelm him with questions, so you slowly started to see how comfortable he was around you.

He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s such a sad place. I feel like we shouldn’t be sad on his birthday, if that makes sense. We should eat his favorite food and drink a beer and stay up too long, playing guitar on the porch. Mum and Dad always sneaked out at night on his birthday, taking drunk walks. They thought I didn’t notice but they were always coming back, laughing loudly. I miss celebrating his birthdays. But it’s hard to be happy on his birthday without him here.”

He laid down on his bed, his head right next to where you were currently sitting. You studied his face, his eyes still glued to the ceiling, not daring to look at you, the woman he hurt by leaving her after having sex with her. The sun outside was setting, leaving Taehyung’s whole room in a golden light, his tan skin was glowing and his light-brown hair shimmering.

While he seemed to be sad on the outside you could see that talking about the memories he made with his father was making him feel lighter. It was nice seeing him talking about his dad - they always have been very close, you still could recall that.

“I still remember him so vividly. He always gifted me self-made jam before I left the city and no other jam, literally not a single one at home was comparable to his,“ you shared your memory with Taehyung, looking out of the big window in his room, admiring the sun, “He has a beautiful soul.”  

When you came over you wouldn't have expected to talk to Taehyung about his father but you knew that everything else, every problem and unsolved question, between the two of you could wait for now.

“I wish I was more like him,“ his voice was nothing more than a mumble, almost inaudible. The sudden craving to hold him came over you, to comfort him in your arms, to kiss him until he felt better. But you held back, as long as you didn’t talk about the obvious.

“What do you mean?” you asked him, daring to lay down beside him – luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. The two of you didn’t touch or cuddled, you just were lying there, on his bed, having a serious and meaningful conversation.

“He was so kind and positive. He told my mother different reasons why he loved her every night. Even after a long day of work he still took his time and practiced the piano with me every night and then brought Olli to bed, reading him a good night story or playing him songs on the guitar until he fell asleep. He taught me so much but still, I could never be so full of love like he used to be.”

“You think too low of yourself, Tae,“ you said determined, meaning it, “I don’t think you see how much your mother appreciates everything you do for her. She knows that you didn’t plan out your life like this but you’re staying here for her. And Olli looks up to you so much, you could do nothing to let him down.”

He shrugged, looking at you for a second, “I don’t feel like that’s enough.”

Feeling heartbroken about hearing him talk so bad about himself, your hand found his in between the two of you, linking it with yours, now it was you who didn't dare to look into his eyes, “Look at us then.”

“What do you mean?” he asked you, confused.

“Since I moved here you gave me so much joy and helped me everywhere you could. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me since I came here, complicated tensions between us or not,“ you meant every word.

He scoffed lightly, “I attacked you on your first day, made you churn butter and let you fall into the lake in the middle of the night on your birthday.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his words, “Well, yes. And I could still kill you for all of those things. But,“ you started, turning your body towards him to look into his eyes, “You also helped me calm the cows during the storm. You gave me the most meaningful birthday present I could’ve thought of. You brought me a basket full of my favorite fruits even though you still deny that you did-”

He let out a soft chuckle before interrupting you, “That wasn’t me,“ he insisted once again with a grin on his face.

“Sure, Kim,“ you rolled your eyes at him picking up this discussion again, “You might think you’re being cold but you’re not at all.”

Now he turned to face you too, both of you lying on the side, looking in each other’s eyes. His brows narrowed as he tried to say something to you, the expression in his eyes seemed to be hurt, maybe even guilty.

A heavy sigh came from his lips before he closed his eyes, “I just left you. That morning. I just got up and left.”

Those words made you freeze. After all, you came here to talk about exactly that but it seemed so wrong right now, “We don’t have to talk abou-”

“I just left,“ he repeated, seeming disappointed with himself, “I never just left someone after having sex with them. There were people that meant way less to me and I still stayed the morning after. I am being a complete asshole to you all the time and still, you don’t hate me. You’re here, trying to make sure I’m okay.”

Keeping quiet was the only thing you could do at that moment. Taehyungs words seemed harsh but the tone in his voice sounded guilty. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say anything – you had no idea what Taehyung was trying to say.

“Tae,“ you finally started after a few seconds, his full attention on you, “This day is hard enough for you already. We don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be though. I know, I am pretty amazing but not even such a godlike man like me shouldn’t treat you like this,“ he joked but both of you knew it was his way of comprehending because he didn’t know how to handle the conversation you were about to have since he always struggled to talk about his feelings, especially sober.

“Why did you leave then?” you asked him the one question you asked yourself over and over again. There could have been millions of options in your mind. Maybe, he regretted it and it was just a drunk mistake. Maybe, the feelings you thought he had for you were just sexually. Maybe, he simply had to go and do something early in the morning. So many maybes that have gone through your head without any idea if any of those maybe’s were right.

“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t,“ he bit his lip nervously, not looking into your eyes anymore, afraid to see your reaction, “Maybe I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” you asked, not sure if you actually wanted to know the answer. You felt many emotions when it came to him. You felt happiness, joy, hope, possibly love. On other days you felt powerless, insecure and confused. What you never felt was being afraid. Pretty sure, you actually felt safe around him.

“I’m not as flawless and strong as I constantly try to convince you I am,“ he sighed, pressing his lips into a straight line, “I couldn’t stand to hurt you because of my own problems. But I still did.”

Slowly you nodded as your heart was sinking deeper and deeper in your stomach, “You’ve got to talk to me. What are you thinking about?”

Taehyung hated this probably even more than you did. He was good in so many things – he was a good friend, a better brother and the best son. He was an amazing cook and apparently, an amazing piano player. He could flirt like no tomorrow and crack jokes around his friends that would make everyone laugh. He could drink a lot and he could make your heart beat faster.

There were countless things he was able to be and to do without any problem. But when it came to talking about his feelings and showing his vulnerable side he failed. You knew that just as good as everyone else but if he wouldn’t talk, you couldn’t continue to work on your relationship.

“I–“ he started but stopped, looking at you sternly while clenching his jaw a bit. His eyebrows furrowed and his expression looked almost pained, trying to find the right words, “I think that I loved the night with you. I did, really. But maybe, it was a bit thoughtless of us.”

“So, what you’re trying to say is that you regret it,“ you stated, trying to just get this conversation over with, hoping he couldn’t see or hear that you felt like he just put a knife in your stomach.

„God, no,“ his answer bursted out of him like a bullet before he started mumbling to himself, „I am truly terrible at this.“

You gave him a few seconds to gather his thoughts even though the silence was deafening. This wasn't how you expected to spend your first time in Taehyung's bed at all.

„I like you, (y/n),“ he then spoke, determined, „Obviously I do. And I think you like me too, or at least I hope you do. But we were drunk and desperate when we had sex and I wanted it to be special.“

You couldn't help but pout at his helpless confession, adoring him even more than before. Within seconds all of your doubts vanished – as long as Taehyung liked you too you would find a way to work everything out. Trying not to let your overflowing happiness show, you gave him a small smirk, „You thought about us having sex?“

Luckily, his body relaxed too, an annoyed smile appearing on his handsome face, „All the time,“ he scrunched his nose, his arm wrapping itself around your waist.

„So, what you're saying is that you ignored me for days because you didn't like the way it happened?“ you asked him, coming back to the actual topic.

Frowning, he sighed, „When you put it like this it sounds stupid.“

„Because it is,“ you insisted, squinting your eyes at him, „I thought you avoided me because you hated me or something like that.“

„I'm so sorry,“ he apologized again, his face coming closer to yours, „Apparently, I'm very bad at this.“

„So, what are we doing now?“ you asked him, feeling a bit anxious even though Taehyung just told you that he liked you too, so you had nothing to worry about.

„First, I want to kiss you if you're fine with that,“ his fingers were drawing little patterns on your waist, „and then I'd like us to become something serious.“

Nodding, you did as he asked and gave him a kiss, his soft lips feeling just as good, if not better, as you remembered them. You felt something like butterflies in your stomach and you thought that Taehyung would probably make fun of you if he knew how jolly he made you feel.

Breaking from the kiss, the most handsome man you've ever seen stared you down for a second, not saying anything.

„We should celebrate,“ he suddenly suggested.

„What do you have in mind?“ you asked him curiously, not once escaping his gaze.

„Let me take you out to dinner,“ his voice was sweet as honey and you were sure you never heard him talk in such a soft tone – it might be the rest of guilt he still felt towards you or the fact that now you officially knew about each other's feelings but you could get used to it. You wanted to get used to it.

„Right now?“ you asked him, wondering if it would be okay considering it was his father's birthday.

„I don't wanna wait a second longer,“ he smirked at his own cheesiness, getting out of his bed to get ready to go.

You joined him, „Stop being so loving. God, where did my cynical Taehyung go?“

Rolling his eyes, he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, walking down the hallway with you. „This changes nothing,“ he gestured between the two of you, „You're still terribly annoying even if we're together now.“

„I could get used to the sound of that,“ you scrunched your nose as your eyes met before you repeated his words, „We're together now.“

Even though he tried to hide it, he was just as excited about the label as you were. You could feel it in the way he touched you and the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.

A few minutes later you were sitting outside of the restaurant in the heart of your city, the marketplace was pretty quiet as it slowly got dark outside, a candle lit on your table.

The owner of the restaurant greeted you, raising his eyebrow and smirking as he saw the two of you together. „Oh, what a nice sight to see the two of you here together. Is this a date by any chance?“

You let Taehyung answer, not knowing if he was okay with telling people yet.

„It's still a secret so you have to keep quiet, please,“ he answered with a proud smile on his lips and you could swear his chest was sticking out a bit.

„What a pretty couple,“ he sang as he went back inside, giving you a bit of time to read the menu and decide on what to eat.

Even though it was almost autumn it was still warm outside – you loved those kind of late summer evenings. Without even having a single sip of alcohol you felt almost tipsy, the man opposite of you making you feel all light and smitten.

„This is the downside of living in such a small town,“ Taehyung started, his skin glowing in the candlelight, „We have zero privacy.“

„I don't mind,“ you shrugged, „They're going to find out sooner or later. It's the charm of towns like ours.“

„I just would like to take you out on a date every now and then without one of the guys crashing it because they see us,“ he explained, „But you're right, it's not as bad here as I make it out to be.“

He took your hand that was resting on the table, caressing it with his thumb. Every touch you two shared make you shiver in anticipation for more. Even though you already knew you were head over heels for him you felt yourself falling deeper every time you touched.

Time went by way too fast for your liking and before you knew it you two had your dinner, your dessert and even some drinks afterwards. The atmosphere was light, both of you enjoying each other's company after not talking for some days.

„I don't want this night to end just yet,“ you pouted. Before you dared to take his hands you glanced around to see if Jimin was anywhere to be seen, not wanting him to disturb your peace.

Your new boyfriend, still a weird thought to call him that, nodded, „I can stay if you want to.“

Before you could say anything he fastly added, „I don't have to though. It's your decision. I can leave too.“

You gave him a weird glance, „You're acting like this would be a first for us.“

Not saying anything he almost froze in front of you, fidgeting with his hands, staring at your door. For a few seconds you mustered him, waiting if he'd say something but nothing came out of his mouth, which was pretty unusual for him.

„Oh god, you're nervous!“ your grin was a mile wide and you clapped your hands amused, „Kim Taehyung is nervous because of me. I can't wait to tell my diary about this.“

Frustration was written all over his face as he closed his eyes as if he couldn't believe himself. „Your diary must be full of my name,“ he mumbled under his breath before looking at you again, the satisfied smile on your face provoking him, „Stop making fun of me.“

As you were searching for your keys in your back he hugged you from behind, pressing a kiss against your hair, “Let’s drink some beer and watch a movie.”

Nodding, you stole a quick kiss from his lips and opened the door, letting the both of you in.

“I’m going to get a blanket,” you informed him, “Get some beers, I’ll meet you in the couch in a minute.

„What do you wanna watch?“ he asked you a few moments later, one leg bent while the other one was spread out on your sofa, his arm spread on the back of it, just waiting for you to join him.

The sight of him comfortably sitting on your sofa gave you the most domestic feeling you've felt in a long time – he seemed to look even better than before somehow.

„Let's watch an animal documentation,“ you responded, sitting down next to him. The blanket you brought from your bedroom spread over the two of you, you dared to cuddle yourself up to him and he seemed to enjoy it as much as you, giving your head a quick kiss, your face resting on his chest.

„You're weird,“ he muttered, „Let's watch a horror movie instead.“

Giving him an unimpressed glance, you sighed, „How cliche.“

You could feel his chuckle going through his chest, „At least it would give me a reason to stay for the night.“

Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him, his glance already on you, „Why? Because you're too afraid of horror movies? Because I am certainly not.“

„I have such a brave girlfriend,“ he acknowledged in a sarcastic tone while opening two beers, handing you one, „Here's to us, babe.“

Clinking your bottles, you took a sip of your beer, „So, you're a babe kind of guy? Wouldn't have thought that.“

„I can call you asshole if you prefer that,“ he said seriously before starting to laugh at his own joke once again.

And with that, the rest of the evening was just as perfect as the first part. It was just you, Taehyung, some beers and Netflix. Every now and then you shared kisses, sometimes those kisses were a bit more passionate and longer, turning into full make-out sessions before Taehyung started to whine because he missed the plot of the movie you were watching.

“God, I’m so happy,” he told you softly as you were slowly falling asleep in his arms, relaxing completely under his touch, “I wanted this for so long.”

You and Taehyung managed to keep your relationship a secret for about two weeks. It took you only two short weeks to decide that it didn’t make any sense to keep it from them. Not only were both of you pretty sure that the relationship between you was serious but also, like always, none of your friends stopped their teasing, making it difficult to stay hidden because their eyes were always on you.

“We have to tell them,” your boyfriend looked at you, “It’s a miracle they didn’t find out yet.”

You chuckled, wrapping your legs around his, “I guess you’re right. But they are going to be so nosey about it. I hate it already.”

It was a late summer Saturday evening, probably one of the lasts warm days for this year and Yoongi decided to gather your friends and your family together for one last barbecue.

Walking outside, you linked your arm with Taehyung’s, something you’ve never done before in front of other people. A part of you almost felt nervous to let the rest know.

“You’re ready?” he asked you, giving you a small wink as you walked towards the big table next to the barbecue grill. Your families were already sitting down on the big table while Yoongi and Hoseok were struggling to get the barbecue grill to work. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was still high but was about to sink, the warm summer breeze felt refreshing and the big table in the garden was full of drinks and food, from meat to salads to bread to vegetables. Yoongi’s parents were there too, currently mixing some cocktails.

Jimin was the first to spot the two of you walking out of your cottage, giving you a confused glance, his eyebrows narrowed. He stopped telling the other a story he was in the middle of, wondering about the sudden skinship. Immediately, everyone turned their heads to where he was looking, wondering what made Jimin speechless.

As you arrived you said nothing, waiting for anyone to say something.

Yoongi looked at you with a big grin on his face. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, pointing onto your linked arms.

“You are fucking with us, aren’t you?”, your cousin asked suspiciously, “Ha Ha. Very funny.”

“No, for once I’m serious,” you replied, amused because he didn’t believe you, “Are you really surprised?”

Mrs. Kim and your uncle looked at each other, a smile on their faces.

“Taehyung, are you serious? You can’t trick your old mother like this, don’t make me excited for something that isn’t true.”

Taehyung chuckled at his mother, nodding, “Don’t worry, mum. I’d never lie to you.”

Jimin still didn’t seem to believe you, “If you’re not kidding you gotta kiss,” he insisted with a sly smirk, thinking that he exposed you now.

You looked at Tae, giving him a questioning glance, not knowing if he’d be comfortable kissing you in front of everyone. But he didn’t seem to care and just shook his head amused before he came closer to give you a short, but still very adorable, kiss on your lips, his arm now around your waist, before turning to Jimin, who looked like he was about to faint.

“Who do you think you are just dating my cousin without asking me for permission?” he yelled angrily, getting ready to fight Taehyung.

You, Yoongi and Hoseok started to laugh out loud as Jimin started to chase after Taehyung.

Sitting down on the table right next to Yoongi’s seat he pinched your cheeks lightly, “Congratulations, finally trapped him, huh?”

You nodded, “Was about time. I was slowly going insane.”

“In a more peaceful minute, you need to tell me all about how it happened, alright?” your best friend said with a satisfied smile on his lips, “And don’t forget me now that you’re in love.”

“How could I ever?” you promised, laughing as Taehyung came back to the table, out of breath from running away from Jimin.

“Your cousin is crazy, (y/n),” he breathed heavily, shaking his head, “Maybe I have to reconsider becoming part of your family.”

“Well, too late now,“ you shrugged as Jimin  joined the table again too, a goofy smile on his face as he turned to you.

“So, I assume I can’t try to set you up with Jungkook anymore, right?” he joked, sitting back down on his chair and opening two cans of beer, one for himself and the other one for you.

„You better watch your mouth,“ your boyfriend warned Jimin, giving him a warning glance.

A few hours later, the sky was pitch-black by now and the stars sparkling, you noticed that Taehyung was gone for quite some time now and decided to go check up on him - you saw him going to the barn earlier.

As you walked over to Taehyung he already noticed you but didn’t look at you yet. Instead, you only saw his back as he was busy giving Bertha some kisses.

“Oh no, don’t worry, Bertha,“ he talked to her, “You’re still my favorite cow, just don’t tell (y/n).”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing, “You’re trying to make me jealous?”

He turned around, acting as if he didn’t realize you coming on, “Oh no, (y/n),“ his voice was mocking, “You shouldn’t have seen this, I can explain, I promise.”

Laughing at his own joke, he came over to you and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Trying to give you a kiss, you freed yourself from his grip, giving him the cold shoulder.

“No, go and kiss Bertha, if you love her so much,“ you huffed and held your chin up high, trying to stay serious but Taehyung wasn’t having it. Within seconds his arms were wrapped around you once again, now tighter than before so you couldn’t escape if you wanted.

Pulling you into a hug, he locked his eyes with you, a joyful smile on his still so beautiful lips, “You’re so annoying.”

Scoffing, you avoided his eyes, still playing hard to get, „I thought we're over the whole 'you're annoying me' phase.“

„Actually, each time I told you that you're annoying I fell in love with you a bit more,“ your boyfriend confessed, still hugging you tightly before smirking, „But you still were a pain in the ass.“  

You gave him a quick and small kiss before resting your forehead against his, “I want to spend the rest of my life annoying you.”

He let out a small laugh, his eyes closed. “Oh, that’s good,“ suddenly he picked you up, giving you no other chance as to hold onto him, your legs around his waist as he was holding you up, his arms tightly around your waist, “Because I want to spend the rest of my annoying life with you.”

[peakysanakin]

a bit about Elain's trauma and why it correlates with her rejecting her mating bond with Lucien in the future, a thread:

(WARNING: this post isn't about ships, except Elucien because Lucien is a key factor in Elain's trauma. )

Everyone deals with trauma in their own way and that's totally okay. Some are destructive, some shut people up and others want to not feel anything. Elain, just as Nesta, went into the Cauldron and those moments were horrific for her.

She is literally dragged and shoved into the Cauldron while she cries, struggles and kicks to escape the guards' grasps. The guards and the King keep laughing at her during the whole time.

Elain is used as an experiment for the Queens.

She is used as if she was a mere object.

Her body has been changed forever and she is practically naked, completely terrified and in shock from whatever she has gone through inside the Cauldron. (We know how terrifying and horrible it can be because of Nesta's experience.) Everyone is looking at her, some are even laughing.

Do you know how violating this could feel? To be left naked and vulnerable in front of people who have just terrorized you? How would you feel?

We don't know what she goes through inside the Cauldron, but it was probably very painful and terrifying. Then, she is thrown off it and she experiences this horrific scene, and her mating bond with Lucien snaps.

Another thing has been decided for her.

Not only has her body and life been changed forever without her consent, now her romantic relationship has been decided for her as well. And it's with a man who participated in the plan that made this horrific moment happen.

Lucien is an accomplice of that. He isn't a bad person, but he is CLEARLY an accomplice. (GO NESTA!!)

Elain is dealing with her trauma and she doesn't own Lucien anything. She suffered so much, she was broken and traumatized by what happened to her.

And Lucien and their mate bond are a BIG reminder of the day her body and life were changed against her own will.

We don't know much about her, but we have seen enough of her suffering and how traumatized she is in the books. Feyre always admired Elain's strength, because being kind and gentle in a world so dark takes balls, you know? Later on in the books, Elain is still kind and gentle but more reserved and quiet because she is dealing with her own shit.

Strength doesn't equal to physical force. A big example? Queen Elizabeth I of England was strong and she never fought in a battlefield, but she was intelligent, cunning and brought a Golden Age to her country. She made a place for herself in a patriarcal society and that's how strong she was.

Elain's strength differs from Nesta's, Mor's and Feyre's. She isn't an active fighter like them, but yet she had the guts to fight in the war and stabbed the King on the neck to protect Nesta because she loves her sister and would die for her. Look at this.

No one wanted her to fight, but she chose to. SHE CHOSE TO! This is important. She is scared in the battle camp and doesn't know how to fight or wield a sword, yet she trusts her friends and wants to fight alongside them. 

She might die in the battlefield, but at least she will fight fighting and not be a pawn.

She will enact revenge for what the King did to Nesta, to Feyre and to herself.

MOREOVER –– Another big trauma (aside from happened inside the Cauldron and the dramatic changes in her life), it will probably be center around her body. 

Her clothes, body and beauty are mentioned all the time. ALL THE TIME. Elain, who was a very proper and modest lady (and didn't want to talk about periods even with her sisters), was seen naked against her will by everyone and she probably felt violated.

Feyre mentions Elain's reaction when she sees her and Nesta wearing Illyrian fighting leathers. She mentions how Elain was offered something less scandalous and more proper. 

Imagine how someone so proper would feel after being used and seen all vulnerable and naked by so many people? To have been ogled against your will? To be seen as an “object” to see whether the Cauldron worked?

Nesta is a sexual assault survivor and she also suffered because of their youth, Feyre's sacrifice to provide for them and Elain suffering from the Cauldron incident. She dealt with her trauma in her own way, just as Elain deals with it in her own way. And that's okay!

In Elain's book, her choosing who she wants to be with and how she wants to live from now on will be important. She will turn down Lucien, as it is obvious from what I explained above and because of the following:  Feyre and Rhys comment on how being mates doesn't equal to being right for each other.

Sarah J. Maas said this as well.

She also said that a mating bond is something rare but that some people might be lucky and end up having two. But the main thing is: 

Elain will reject Lucien because they aren't right for each other and she will chose whomever she wants to because she loves that person. That's big and it will be key to the plot.

Elain might end up being lucky and while falling for another person, a new mating bond might develop. But at the end of the day, it will be her choice. 

Not the Cauldron's choice, not society's choice or anyone else. 

Hers and hers alone.

You think she is boring? Well, we will learn more about her and we will see her heal from her trauma. Her body and her choices have been violated, but she will heal and grow for that and gain ownership over herself once again. 

Rhys, Amren and Feyre believe there is more to her than just the kindness she shows. 

“Maybe she was never given the chance to be that way.” “You think I stifle her?” “Not you alone. [...] But I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d dissapoint you all. [...] With time and safety, perhaps we’ll see a different side of her emerge”

“You think Elain is boring?” “I think she’s kind, and I’ll take that kindness over nastiness every day. But I also think we haven’t yet seen all she has to offer.”

“Don’t forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one’s hands dirty along the way.”

“You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Being a seer gives you many powers, but it would take me too much time so I recommend you to read this LONG AND AMAZING list of powers a seer might have posted by @miru5llec​ and you will be shocked and hyped.

If you like mythology and fantasy literature, you know seers are feared and respected. Kings have killed for having a seer in their ranks. They can reach levels of divine status and their ability as a seer gives them many more powers than those I have mentioned before.

Elain might not be physically powerful like Nesta or Feyre, but being a seer makes her more powerful than both of them but IN ANOTHER WAY. Look at the list above (linked) if you don't believe me. 

Her being on the Night Court makes Feysand's court the most powerful in Prythian.

That's why Elain is not boring and her trauma is valid. There is much more to her than what little we have seen. SJM has said so. Rhys, Feyre, Amren, everyone has said so in the books. We will learn about her, see her heal and chose who to love in her book.

“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

We will see her develop her powers and learn how to use them. She is possibly the key to killing Koschei (the big bad villain) because she might have visions of where his heart is hidden in that fucking box and guide the IC to find it.

Furthermore, stop saying “I want Elucien to happen so Lucien can be happy.” or “Azriel deserves better than Elain because she likes to garden and is mated to Lucien.”

Elain doesn’t belong to Lucien.

Elain can garden, bake and walk around on her hands while singing La Macarena and that doesn’t make her any less strong than Feyre, Mor, Nesta or any other female character.

(Also, in this stupid ship war I have seen people pointing out how she wouldn't be able to give Azriel children because her body isn't Illyrian. This is disgusting. You are basically saying that all her worth lies in whether she can give someone children or not.

Do I remind you adoption exists? Rhys, Cassian and Azriel are brothers by choice, not by blood and they are BROTHERS. You can adopt and be a mother. And you can chose to not have children and that would be okay too. A woman's worth isn't in her uterus.

And that’s it. 

(I posted this thread on Twitter as well, so if you liked it you can go there and RT it or hit a like.)

[og post]

[potter-imagines]

Chosen Sister (Fred Weasley x Reader)

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Request: I had two Ginny idolizing reader requests so this is the first one! I can't find the exact request but the other will be posted during this coming week. 

Warning: None (vv short sad part)

Word Count: 3.8k

“Give me back my girlfriend, Ginny. I heard that you’re holding her hostage.”

A loud chorus of knocks sounded out from Ginny Weasley’s dorm room. Dinner had finished an hour before and since the meal ceased, Fred had been searching the entire ground for you, his girlfriend. After about thirty minutes tracing your typical patterns and steps around Hogwarts, Fred ran into Angelina and Alicia who informed him of your whereabouts.

They happily explained to them that they saw Ginny dragging you away after dinner. The girls cooed to Fred about how adorable it was that his girlfriend hung out with his little sister, something Fred didn’t exactly view the same.

Fred Weasley checked your dorm room, the common room, the library, Hermione’s dorm, and finally Ginny’s room. As he trudged up the stone steps grounchily, his ears perked to a point at the ring of a voice that was tattooed in his heart. Your innocent, childlike giggle played like a melody in the empty stairwell.

Fred could feel the corner of his lip tugging up to a smile at the sound. That sugared chortle that he had heard millions of times before but somehow still felt his breath catch at the sound. Standing outside his little sister’s door, Fred’s annoyance was dissolving by your haromous voice echoing from the opposite side.

When Ginny failed to open her dorm up the first round of knock, Fred banged on the door again. Huffing in annoying, Ginny shot you a look, already knowing Fred was gonna scold her. She crawled off her bed and waltzed over to her door, taking her sweet time as she did. You couldn’t help the giggles that rumbled through your chest.

Swing the door open swiftly, Ginny glared at Fred with flames blazing in her eyes. If they weren’t related, he might’ve felt a hint of her wrath. But she was his little sister and not even at her angriest did Fred find her intimidating, not in the slightest.

Ginny Weasley was only thirteen yet her sass and feistiness was beyond her years. Growing up with only brothers probably played a hand. The young girl sent her brother a disgusted look then growled at him,

“I am not holding her hostage! For your information, Y/n happens to be my friend. Might sound surprising to you but she actually enjoys hanging out with me, Fred.”

Fred looked past his sister at the mention of your name. A smile lifted to his lips when he found you. You returned the gesture

“You’re right, that does sound surprising.” The snarky remark caused Ginny to furrow her face in a scowl. Lunging forward the youngest Weasley snapped for her older brother, although missed by a long shot.

“You’re infuriating, Fred!” She howled. Her face was turning red with every second that ticked by. If the situation had been different, you might’ve laughed. Getting between the Weasley siblings when they were arguing- that just wasn’t safe for anyone. Ginny’s aggravation was fuming from her pores as she sent you pleading looks to stay.

It was now that you took a look at the old wooden clock hanging on the way above her roommate's bed. The little hand was pointing to the six as the big hand was approaching eleven. The time seemed to fly by at light speed. You had promised to help Ginny hang up some lights in her room. She had wanted to decorate it just likes yours, as she practically admired anything you did. It made you feel special knowing Ginny looked up to you. You had never experienced it before so it was exciting- but also slightly pressurized- to know she was admiring you as a big sister.

Fred let out an exaggerated groan leaning against the wall next to the door.

“Can I please have my girlfriend back? You got your girl time in. Y/n promised to hangout with me tonight, so I’m rescuing her!” A cheeky wink was thrown your way as Fred walked further in the room, slowly sneaking up to you. The annoyed girl rolled her eyes then ignored her brother. She looked back at you and pursed her lips into a thin line. Ginny was too oblivious to notice his stagger but your attention remained set on him the entire time. You didn’t fight the smirk lifting to your lips as he inched closer, and closer until his feet were only steps from his sister’s back. It was then Ginny noticed the amused tint to your face but before she could bring it to light, Fred bent down in one fluid motion and gripped his hands on either side of your hips. As light as a feather he swept you up and quickly darted for the door, as to escape Ginny before she had the chance to retaliate.

“Wait- hey!” Fred slammed the large door then proceeded down the steps.

“Freddie, love, that wasn’t nice.” The giggles poured from your soul as Fred continued to carry you down the stairs, then took a sharp right, and started walking up the boy’s dormitory staircase. You rested your head against the blade of his shoulder, bobbing with every step he took. He was so handsome, even from the most unpleasant angels. His sharp features stuck out in the darkness, striking your heart. His arms cradled you while he laughed, “Oh shush, you didn’t try to stop me. Wasn’t exactly nice of you to just run off in the middle of dinner. You still have time to make it up to me, though.” The teasing arrogance didn’t go unnoticed. You laughed into the material of his sweater, clutching to his chest. The movement of his legs stopped and he softly leaned over to place you on the ground. Taking his wand out from his back pocket he unlocked his door and opened it up for you to walk in.

You stepped into the quiet room then turned to you boyfriend,

“George and Lee in?” You asked. The grin that rose to his lips was an answer enough. Fred closed the door behind him with a slam then jumped onto his bed with a flop. You watched him lay in the middle of the mattress, throwing his hands in a fold behind his head. He shrugged his shoulders and replied,

“Nope. Was there something in particular you had in mind of doing?” His mask of innocence wasn’t fooling either of you, but it was part of the fun. Keeping your eyes glued to his, you slipped the material of your robes off, leaving you in a white long sleeve button up and a small plaid skirt. You basked in the widening eyes of your boyfriend as he shifted on the comforter. His eyes raked over your body from your head down to your toes. You noticed his gaze particularly set on your exposed legs. Smirking to him you sauntered over to his bed and climbed in with him. His large hands found your bottom instantly. “I think you know, Freddie.”

Almost a week later, it happened again. Fred was scrambling around the Gryffindor common room asking every waking student if they had seen you. Most students were getting ready for dinner, some already there. George was waiting near the portrait watching curiously as his twin ran around the room from person to person. Even to George it was a bit strange no one had seen you, although as the hours dragged on he took into account the absence of his little sister also. George sighed to himself then kicked his leg into the wall, leaning back against the brick waiting patiently for Fred.

On the opposite side of the large room, the other half of the Weasley twins was talking to Lee Jordan, seeing if he had any valuable information. Lee, just like everyone else he asked, had no clue where you were. Right as his conversation with Lee was dwindling, the sigh of a curly haired girl caught Fred’s eyes and he abruptly excused himself from Lee and ran over.

As Fred reached Hermione, he gave her shoulder a line of taps,

“Hermione! Hey! Do you know where Y/n is? George said he saw you two in the courtyard this morning but I haven’t seen her all day.” Fred questioned the bright witch in a pleasing tone. She swiveled around and tilted her head to the side causing her frizzy hair to bounce like springs. Eyebrows knitted together, her lips scrunched to the side. Deep in thought she hummed to herself then answered,

“No I don’t at the moment, Fred, I’m sorry. I spent the morning with her and Ginny but I haven’t seen either of them since we left the library around lunch. That was hours ago, though. Maybe try checking Ginny’s room?” Hermione offered.

You had been studying most of the morning in the courtyard then in the library. Ginny and Hermione joined you, despite all three of you being in different years. Not that it came as much of a surprise, but Hermione helped you with your work without missing a beat. Where you were stuck for minutes, she had finished four questions ago. She was a brilliant friend to have, schoolwise and personally. You might be older than the young witch but Hermione’s advice was like no others so you loved having her around.

Fred shook his head and mumbled a ‘no’.

“That was the first place I looked. Don’t know where she is either. Did I do something? Y/n’s not upset with me is she?” The fear and worry in his voice soaked the air and Hermione gave him a gaze of bewilderment.

“What? She didn’t say anything to me about being mad at you and I’m sure she would’ve if she were. She seemed perfectly fine so I don’t think it’s that. Ginny was the one who seemed in a mood if anything.” She stated firmly. As close as the two of you were, you would have told Hermione if Fred angered you. You shared everything with her.

The towering boy nodded, eyes scanning the space behind Hermione. He was running out of places to check and people to ask. Hermione was his best bet next to Ginny and no one knew where Ginny was either which, for anyone capable of putting 2 and 2 together meant you and Ginny were more likely than not together somewhere.

“Thanks, Hermione. Let me know if you see either of them, please.” Hermione nodded and smiled kindly to Fred, then walked off to join Harry and Ron. Fred took off towards the portrait, yelling to George that he would be back shortly.

Leaving the common room Fred shut the painting behind him and made his way to the moving staircase. While standing on the middle step, he tried to think if he was a girl, where would he go? The bathroom? No, not for that long. A swim in the lake? Well, it was a few weeks out from winter so that was unlikely. Fred huffed as he hopped off the stairs on the fourth floor and walked towards the library. Passing by he noticed a group of Hufflepuff boys sitting around a table and Professor Pince shushing them furiously. He kept on past the library and made his way down a mostly empty corridor.

The clock was nearing five in the afternoon and it was definitely out of the ordinary for the two of you to go this long in one day without even passing by one another. Maybe you were in the common room. Just with his luck you would show up right when he left. As the thought seemed to be a possibility, the sudden sound of your familiar light, delicate voice, hit his ears. Halting completely, Fred peeked his head towards the staircase on his left where the noise came from.

“Y/n?” The inquiry came quietly. Fred half wondered if he had imagined it. No reply came to his question, but he did hear someone speaking again, a new voice he recognized as his little sister’s. Moving closer to the open, cobble stairwell, Fred suddenly stopped when he heard the shaky voice of his little sister and the sound of tears splashing against the hard ground.

“He doesn’t even notice me, Y/n! I’m practically invisible in his eyes… I hate it.” Ginny’s somber cries became louder as Fred stood just on the other side of the arch in the wall. He caught a small glimpse of the scene around the wall. On the bottom step, you and Ginny were sitting next to each other. Her head leaned on your shoulder as she sobbed sadly. It was a new sight- Fred was pretty sure he hadn’t seen Ginny cry since she was in diapers. Part of him wanted to beat the daylights out of whoever hurt his little sister, but he knew it would only cause more chaos for Ginny if he injected himself now. Fred was brought back to reality when your comforting tone reassured Ginny.

“Oh Ginny, don’t say that. He’s just stupid- boys are like that. I honestly don’t think he realizes what he’s doing.” Fred wondered who you were talking about. Did Ginny fancy someone? The sniffles of his sister shook the air. Her face left your shoulder as she buried it into the sleeves of her jacket. The material soaked up her salty teardrops and she forced herself to take some deep breaths in order to calm down. Just as her body stopped quivering, the thought entered her mind again and she remarked,

“He’s never gonna-”

Fred looked on in surprise as you leaned forward and pulled Ginny in for a tight hug. Your hand rubbed along her back, soothing the young girl. She rubbed her eyes constantly, the redness only worsening. Pulling away, you rubbed the drops away from under Ginny’s eyes and gave her a small smile,

“No, he will. I just think he’s got all this stuff with ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ on his mind… but even if he doesn’t, then he’s not the one. You’re an amazing person, Ginny. Any guy would be lucky to have you but you’re too young to be heartbroken over a little boy. I don’t want you wasting your time being sad about boys when you should be having fun with me and your friends!”

“You really mean that, Y/n?” Her eyes lit in hopefulness. Ginny had quickly become a little sister of sorts to you. Seeing her upset, hurt, mad, anything, you felt it too. Although Ginny was young, only thirteen. You didn’t want her ruining herself chasing after a boy who wasn’t able to give her the time and attention she deserved. Being friends with Harry, your judgement told you that the poor boy most likely didn’t even catch onto the fact Ginny fancied him.

Chosen one? Yes. Oblivious one? Also yes.

On the other side of the wall, Fred’s heart was basically goop from the exchange. He messed with his sister, sure, but she was still his baby sister and it meant the world to him to see you, his girlfriend, so kind, and sweet to Ginny.

“I would never lie to you, Ginny.” You promised her.

“I should go wash up before dinner, I’m sure I look a mess! I’ll see you then, okay? And… thank you, Y/n. It means a lot to have you around and I don’t know, it’s cool to have you as a friend.” She reached forward and gave you one last hug. You grinned at her and said,

“Of course, Ginny. It’s cool to have you as a friend as well.”

Fred smiled to himself. He never realized just how much his sister looked up to you and it made him feel prouder than ever to call you his.

Not long later, Ginny rushed off down the staircase heading back for her dorm room. It had been hours since she’d return so it didn’t seem like the best choice to go missing for hours then show up for dinner with a blotchy face from crying. She wasn’t up for the questions and prying. You waved goodbye to her then sat for a few moments by yourself in silence. Well, at least you had assumed you were alone.

Right as your body began sinking in relaxation into the step, an entering pair of footsteps caused your eyes to snap open. Emerging from the open hallway outside the stairwell was a particular adorning red head you had grown to love so much. Fred stepped in through the arch and grinned at you. You were surprised by his presence, you had yet to see him all day, having spent most of it comforting Ginny, so you were taken aback that he was able to find you.

“Freddie! How did you find me?” You jumped up with a grin and threw your arms around Fred’s neck. His knees pulled him down from the force and his hands wrapped around your waist, accepting the embrace fully. Chuckling loudly Fred joked,

“Ah, so you were hiding from me!”

You sent him a narrowed look and pointed towards the direction where Ginny had retreated.

“No, no, I wasn’t hiding. Your sister needed me so I decided to be with her. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you-” Your apology was cut short by the feeling of Fred’s plump lips kissing yours. He kept the kiss short and sweet, just wanting to taste your lips. He went almost the whole day not seeing you so he wasn’t able to resist for much longer. You kissed him back, a bit more forcefully than Fred. His lips danced against yours, the action of snogging being second nature among you two. Fred pulled away slowly, his lips staying close to yours. Your foreheads were leaning against each other, smiles plastered on both your lips.

“That was maybe the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. You were so nice to Ginny, love. You didn’t need to do that.” He insisted in a whisper tone. Moving your forehead against his you explained,

“I wanted to, she’s my friend. I really care about her and… I don’t know, I’ve never had someone who looks up to me so, it’s kinda fun to know someone thinks I’m admirable.”

Glancing up, Fred’s eyes were already locked on yours. The warmth and homeiness of his honey pooled eyes pulled you in. Brown eyes never looked so perfect until you met Fred. Stepping up on your tiptoes, your hand secured itself along Fred’s jaw as you tugged him towards you. He parted his lips as you planted another kiss to his mouth. It was more of a peck, a tinny smooch leaving you to separate quickly. Leaning back into Fred’s arms, you basked in his hold. Never once did you ever feel exposed to danger when Fred had his arms clasped around you. It was impossible.

“That’s why I love you, you’re just perfect in every way. Everyday you find new ways to make me fall in love with you all over again...you’re too sweet, darling. Thank you for looking out for Ginny. It means a lot to me. Even if it means I have to share my time with you, which is just criminal, it does mean a lot.” His lips wasted no time scattering a mess of small, wet kisses along your face. No inch was left unkissed. You giggled wildly as he continued for a few moments. Planting one last kiss to your pursed lips, Fred stopped his attack and leaned back to smirk at you. Your laughter died out as you began to calm yourself. Smiling over to Fred, you reached for his hand and squeezed it in reassurance. “Of course, Freddie. I love you, babe.”

Lifting his hand, he rested his cheek on the skin of your hand. His face turned so he could press a faint peck to your hand, then he glanced up at you through his lashes.

“I love you too, darling. How bout we make up for all that lost time, hm?” That devilish, mischievous smirk you saw far too often had returned. Playing dumb you just chuckled,

“I was thinking the exact same thing, I was wanting some dinner too!”

“You know that wasn’t what-” You interrupted him, placing your pointer finger in the center of his lips creating a ‘shush’ gesture. He stared at you waiting for the next move. It was now you who held the bold smirk. You grasped Fred’s hand and pulled him towards the stairs so you could get to the Great Hall. His face fell in disappointment, clearly expecting a different turn of events. You didn’t leave him down for long when you batted your long lashes up at Fred and stated,

“Dinner first, then dessert after, okay?” It was the way you said it rather than the words themselves that did him in. That playful gleam that sparked in your eyes, he loved it.

Fred immediately felt his clothes, more specifically his trousers, turn tight at your words alone. He side eyed you as you skipped down the steps, unsure if you were the one teasing him now, or if you were being truthful. Narrowing his peer in seriousness, Fred tried to decipher the sickly sweet smirk on your lips. It wasn’t until you turned the tables, lifting his hand up to kiss the back of it, that he realized you weren’t joking. Eagerness took over as Fred locked his hand even more securely around yours and sped up his pace to the Great Hall. “Anything you say, love.”

He practically chased you the whole way to the dinning hall, your loud laughter filling the silence in the air. Your friends chuckled when they saw you two running in. You guys never seemed happier and it made all they ecstatic to see their friends finding love with each other. George waved the two of you over having saved a spot next to him for both of you. Fred escorted you to the opening, his hand never leaving yours even when you sat. For the rest of the meal, Fred’s hand rotated between your hand and your thigh, but never left your skin. And when Ginny sat down and smiled over at you, engaging you in conversation, Fred just squeezed your hand with a small grin, and pretended not to listen in. From then on, Fred only interrupted your hangout sessions to join in, and surprisingly, Fred Weasley was a great gossiper.

[whet-ones-write]

Baku Birthday 2021

So I’m posting this a /little/ early because I’m just too excited to share this fic! So I joined in with Bakugou’s Birthday Bash hosted by these amazing people!!

@phasmwrites​ @katsukikitten @bakugotrashpanda​ @lady-bakuhoe​ @jodrawssmut​ & @ramen-rambles​ 

And since joining I couldn’t have found a more supporting and helpful group on Discord!! Special thanks to: @hoe-doroki​ for being my beta reader and editor!! Thank you for dealing with my sorry, inconsistant ass and giving me the strength to pull though and just do some of my best writing to date! I haven’t written so much in so long and it was rather nice!! 

And to @notchesandbullets​ for telling me I can do this and be those words of praise when I needed them the most helping me pull though and finish this!

Contains: DragonShifter!Reader x Bakugou. Fantasy Setting,

WC: 3755 - Masterlist to all the works!!

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, oral (Female + M reviecing), Cowgirl, unprotected sex, Cum eating, Premature Ejaluations (if you squint), Age gap? It’s implied Reader is much older than Katsuki. Restraining Katsuki, Pervert Kiri

Looking around his throne, Katsuki couldn’t help but scoff at what came to his mind. He had everything a chief could want, but it still wasn’t enough for the young, barbaric male. Vast and grand was his home. People were happy, going about their day, harvest due and bountiful, the river running steady and clean. 

Though, he was still missing a vital element to his life. Someone to make him happy, to have by his side and call his own. So the only thing he had left to need or want was someone to walk into battle with him, because not just any person would. 

No, they had to have a few key traits to meet his standards. They needed to have a willingness to fight, to want to protect those around him and themselves with everything they had. They had to be able to take flack and a joke but also be serious when the time came. They had to be able to take no shit from anyone and make sure to be willing to put others in their place if they went out of line.

It wasn’t much! Honestly…Or at least he thought so. 

“...ugou, Bakugou!” A voice snapped him from his thoughts as he glanced at his adviser, unhappy over the fact he was interrupted from his thoughts. 

“What is it?” Katsuki questioned as he lazily shifted his attention to the man standing at his right side. 

“As I was saying, there have been some sightings of strangely coloured dragons in the nearby valleys. We do not know if it is one or more or if they’re passing by or staying. Moreover, they have yet to attack the villages, but it would be wise to at least investigate the surrounding areas before anything happens,” his assistant spoke as he looked for what the King was going to do. 

Taking a moment, Katsuki couldn’t help but smile as he got up and began to stretch. “Eijirou, prepare for a flight. It seems there might be someone that needs a reminder of who those valleys belong to.” 

Though to the Bakugou family dragons were revered and seen as good omens, there was a limit. Dragons that fought over territory could be destructive and wipe entire lands from existence, so if there was ever more than one in an area it could prove to be a bad omen instead.

One dragon or one family were seen as protecting the lands, keeping invaders at bay and being loyal by nature. Though another one could offset the balance, should they prove to be hungry or hostile. The valleys in which the Bakugous lived were famous for having the longest standing relationship with the red dragons of the Kirishima clan. They had served one another for generations with the latest duo being that of the Barbarian King Katsuki Bakugou, son of the late Chieftess Mitsuki Bakugou, and the dragon that protected the lands, Eijirou Kirishima, son to late Hikori Kirishima.

Standing at seven feet, the mostly human nodded and saluted as he walked with his friend outside. “Yes, sir.” He beamed happily, seemingly excited by the prospect of seeing another dragon. “Though, what are your instructions, should they prove hostile?” 

“Hostile?” Katsuki mused, placing a hand to his chin as the other morphed into that of a forty-foot-long dragon from the tip of his nose to the very end of his arrow-pointed tail. Once finished, Kirishima leaned down to lower his wing, letting Katsuki get on by walking up the thin bone of the arch of his wing and holding onto his spines, climbing all the way to behind the red horns that adorned his head. “Should the dragon wish to try and stay, we will start through the diplomatic route.” 

That was the thing about Katsuki. For all his bloodlust and anger, he was quite the strategist when it came to monsters several times his size. Having worked with Eijirou for some time, they had built up a bond of trust valuable for when trouble arose. 

“Should that fail, we will have to take things up a notch. I would like to avoid a fight if at all possible.” He sighed as he clung to the horn while the other took off. “The valley is full of fish making their way upstream for the breeding season,” he muttered before groaning and slapping his face as he remembered something, getting even more irritated. 

“It could be a female dragon,” he groaned, looking down to Eijirou. “With breeding season approaching, it could prove very troublesome,” he grumbled as he lay down to keep low as Eijirou took to the sky. 

“Hm,” came a deep rumble from the beast.

A female dragon would be far better than a male should they be able to move it along. It could prove worse in the long run, though, as other males came to try and have their chance, destroying the local landscape fighting over the female. 

“Not going to be influenced? I know you’re a young male.” Katsuki snickered as the dragon grunted and shook slightly in a ‘no’. “Don’t worry, whatever happens we’ll sort it,” he offered quietly as he calmed down to focus on the mission at hand. 

They took to the base of the mountains and looked for any signs of disturbance. With fear running though the nearest village, it was clear to see that the crops were half unattended and in the middle of being harvested. “I’m going to go take a look at the surrounding areas and talk to the locals. You go on up the mountain and scout that out,” the Chief commanded. With a short huff and a nod, Eijirou turned to slowly and carefully make his way up and around the mountains. 

It wasn’t long before Eijirou returned with some news. Meeting in the center of town, the dragon descended slowly and waited for Katsuki to approach before he spoke. “I found a trail of blood from the ground leading up to a cave roughly halfway up the mountain. 

Nodding, Katsuki signaled for Eijirou to lower himself so he could climb onto his back. “Sounds about right. The locals saw a figure flying unsteadily across the sky and into the mountain. There was a loud thump before all went silent. It’s more than likely a dragon. It hasn’t done harm to the villagers yet, though, so a slow, quiet and careful approach is needed.”

Coming to the entrance of the cave, Katsuki hopped off Eijirou, immediately noticing the plants had been recently crushed and a splattering of dried blood was leading into the cave. Looking up to Eijirou, he nodded and quietly led the way in. Eijirou used a small breath to light the torch that Katsuki would have to use to see. 

It didn’t take them long to find the cause of the blood and crushed plants. Lying in front of them was a bronze dragon just as large as Kirishima, if not bigger, bleeding heavily from it’s hind leg, belly and face. 

“Holy shit,” Katsukimuttered as he looked over the sight. He froze as the dragon raised its head. Chuckling, you looked over at Katsuki and Eijirou. “If you have come to kill me, at least make it swift.” 

“Tch, don’t lump me with most humans,” Katsuki stated as he approached you, looking over the wounds. A huffing could be heard as he made his way closer, your muscles tense and beady eyes watching his form, ready to attack should harm come. “I’m a Bakugou. We don’t harm your kind.” 

“You may not harm but you enslave. I feel sorry for the red scaled one over there. Forced to serve you like their ancestors,” you mumbled, laying your head down and closing your eyes to rest. 

Eijirou huffed before he sat down. “I’m not. It’s nice to have lands that we don’t have to fight over and live in harmony with humans,” he protested, watching as Katsuki assessed the wounds. “I am from the Kirishima clan.” He beamed, almost a little too excited to say so. “It’s nice to see another shade of red around here. Normally those of the Shinsou clan are around these areas.” Eijirou started, tilting his head to the side. “So what brings you here?” he mused. 

Which was how you explained your side of the story. It wasn’t uncommon for humans to attack those of draconic race because of the first dragons causing havoc and turmoil for humankind. You were a young dragon who still had not found some land to live in. So, you were aimlessly looking around for somewhere to sleep before you were ambushed by a kingdom that had a bad past with dragons, driving you out. 

“Well,” Katsuki started as he backed off. “If you revert into your human form, we can take you back and give you medical aid. I’m not about to let a creature like you just die pathetically cold and alone in such a depressing state.” 

With that, they watched as your form changed into a bloodstained, corseted, sleeveless dress, wings still visible with a tail barely peeking from beneath your long skirt. Their eyes lingered for a little too long to be completely respectful.  

Getting up from where he lay, Eijirou gently enclosed you in his claws, protecting you, letting Katsuki onto his back before taking off back to the kingdom to give you the aid you needed. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The next thing you knew, you were waking up to some argument going on outside, though you took no heed to it. After all, you would need to at least stay to repay the kindness the human has shown you before taking your leave. 

As the flap to the tent opened, you looked up at the figure that came to inspect you in the cot. “How are you feeling?” The one that entered had torn red wings and a thin arrow-headed tail much like that of the dragon you’d seen earlier. 

“Much better, thanks.” He watched you as you got up to move around.

“Yeah, my mother is a great healer.” The man beamed proudly before his face dropped for a moment in realisation. “Oh, that’s right! I’m Eijirou Kirishima!” He offered a hand for you to shake as he introduced yourself. “I’m Katsuki’s dragon companion. Speaking of which, when you feel up to it, he wants to see you in the throne room. He’s currently occupied with some business, so why not come later tonight before dinner? He wants to talk to you about some things.”

“Ah I see” You nodded in agreement though still clearly wary of him. 

“Yeah, my mom specialises in herbal and magical treatments for dragons. You should be fighting fit by the end of day! So enjoy yourself and have a look around! You’re more than welcome here as long as you don’t kill anyone.” You found yourself chuckling lightly along with him as he waved. “See ya! Rest up well and don’t push yourself too hard!” He beamed as he left. 

As Eijirou left you alone with your thoughts, you couldn’t help but think back to just how trustingly and kindly Katsuki had treated you. Taking your leave from the tent, you looked to the sky to gauge the time of day. Deciding you had at least an hour before the sun would set and you would need to see the Chieftain, you went to see what the town had to offer.

As you walked among the townsfolk, you couldn’t help but notice that dragons and humans walked around one another as if that were a normal thing to do. Had things always been like this? And how had this not spread to other countries? Though be that as it might, you were happy for these people; they seemed to be comfortable and welcoming just like the man who had found you. Perhaps you could stay a little longer than intended… 

Still, once the sun started to set you walked back the way you came only to come across a tent larger than most, assuming that was where Katsuki would be wrapping up the day. 

You slowly opened the flap as some villagers came out, happily discussing the day’s harvest before you heard. “Come on in, dragon!” Katsuki called as he remained seated on his chair smirking to himself. “Feeling better, I see?” he questioned as he sat up straight. Even like this, you could see and feel the power he irradiated. 

“Yes, much, thank you.” Bowing, you smiled before you were told to stand upright. “If there’s anything I can do for you, please just let me know. It’s the least I can do after you saved my life.” 

The moment those words left your mouth, you had a feeling that you were either going to live to regret it or thank him.

“Speaking of which,” he started as he leaned back and patted his lap. “Please, come here,” he commanded. Once you approached, he leaned forward, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger as if inspecting you. Up close, you could just see how deep ruby red his eyes were as well as how sharp his teeth were. For a human, he had a great set of fangs on him. ‘Shame he’s a human; he would have made a great and fierce dragon,’ you couldn’t help but think before he spoke, bringing you back to reality. 

“Yes, you’re perfect,” he muttered, pulling you into his lap forcefully by your waist. “Strong willed, a fighter, and someone I could learn to grow better with,” he stated as he suddenly captured your lips. “You will be my partner,” he stated as his hands wandered low. 

Spluttering and blushing, you thrust your arms at his chiseled chest, putting some distance between the two of you. “B-But how do you know? I could kill you! You barely know me,” you protested, though with his power he forced you to fold your arms, leaning in to whisper. 

“But you owe me your life. Surely this is nothing and if you don’t feel like you’re the one you’re more than welcome to leave,” he purred.

You knew he was right. This young, powerful man knew that dragons didn’t back down on their word, and so serving him would mean repaying the debt? A small price to pay, truly. 

“So why not get on your knees for your Chief and thank me properly?” he offered, leaning back and letting go of you. You watched as the grin on his face was almost ear splitting as you sunk to your knees in front of him. He let his hands wander down his trousers to help you get them off and down to his ankles. 

“That’s it,” he praised, reaching out to gently lay his hand on your head. His eyes watched you with keen interest as you slowly took him into your mouth. He wasn’t completely hard and you shifted to get a better angle and grip him in your hands, though he tried to encourage you with soft words. “That’s it, fuckin’ take it all in,” he muttered as he leaned back, getting more comfortable on his throne. The grasp on your hair got tighter as he started to get impatient and guide your face along his length. “Come on now, no need to be so shy about it.” His teeth showed as he smiled. “You’ve lived longer than I have, surely you have the experience?” he goaded. Which, if you were honest with yourself, was true. You were most likely older than him, and could show him a thing or two while you’re at it. 

Straightening your back a little from the floor you looked over his hardening dick. Licking your lips, you took the head in, using the flexibility to weave in between the head of his cock and the shaft before leaning up and taking it in as much as you could. Tongue flat, running along the thick vein underneath, you slowly bobbed your head back and forth, breathing when you could. It wasn’t long before you felt a tug with the hand that ran through your hair to pull you away from him, leaving you panting, and breathless from working so hard to please him. 

His cheeks flushed a bright pink he chuckled almost as breathlessly as you, having forgotten how to breathe in the moment before letting go of your hair. “What a good girl,” he praised as he shifted back and patted his lap.  “Why not come for a ride?” he questioned as he watched you stand. “I would have taken you back to my room, but I'm feeling impatient. It’s my birthday after all,” he informed, eyes hungrily watching over your form as you stripped naked, and then worked on taking off his trousers completely. 

“Your birthday?” you questioned him as you straddled his lap. “I see. Perhaps this will be enough of a gift then?” you mused lining yourself up, slowly trying to sink yourself down on him.

His head slammed back against the back of his throne as he groaned. You were taking your time, though as you hadn’t prepared yourself. You knew your body could and would stretch, but it was painful to begin with. He was stretching you to your limit, but you licked your hand to reach down to let the saliva coating his dick for an easier entry only then were you able to sit down fully on his lap. 

Taking a good minute or two you both sat, panting, just feeling one another as you got used to the stretch of his cock within you. His hands empassing your hips, he tried to get you to move, but you had other ideas. It was his birthday? That’s just fine, but you would make sure it would be a ride he wouldn’t forget in a hurry. 

You gently grasped his hands and took them off your hips to raise them above his head as you started to roll your hips back and forth. Leaning in close to kiss him and to distract him, you used your tail to wrap his hands above his head. He only just realised when you leaned back.

“W-What the fuck is—shit—the big idea?” he panted as his eyes were glued to your form, which started moving so effortlessly up and down on his dick. 

“It’s your birthday. I want to spoil you, so enjoy the ride.” Chuckling a little darkly, you couldn’t help but use your wings to give you some extra momentum and power into your movements as you rode him. 

He couldn't believe just how lucky he was to have such a beautiful person ride him within an inch of his life. You knew just what to do and how to please him, which, to his embarrassment, had him orgasming not much longer after you started. 

“F-Fuck!” he grunted, unable to couldn’t help it when his hips met yours. Though your gut had only just started to coil with your own orgasm, much to your disappointment. You remained seated on his lap as he came down from his high, letting go of his arms. 

He watched you only to frown. Noticing you hadn’t orgasmed yet he couldn’t help but feel like a teenager all over again. 

This wouldn’t do. This wouldn’t do at all. 

Growling, he forcefully lifted you up from him as he slid to the floor, getting you to sit in his seat. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he brought you to his face and started to lap up not only at his own cum that had started to seep it’s way out from the confines of yourself, but searching for any original taste of your own essence. This surprise had you leaning over with a groan. In all your years, no other man had been so willing about doing this. 

Smirking from the inside of your thighs, he knew from your expression that you were loving it or at the very least surprised by his movements. “What?” he questioned, so close to your cunt that you could feel his breath ghosting it. “Never been eaten out before?” He seemed a little too smug, as if he almost already knew the answer. 

With a shake of your head, he only shifted closer and got more comfortable as he nudged your clit with his nose. “Hmm, good. I'm a man starving for pussy and it’s delicious, so don’t mind me,” he muttered before his gaze lowered. 

Though his dick felt great, this was almost a thousand times better. There was no painful stretch, only a soft muscle, though not deep. The slurping and sucking sounds and sensations were what quickly brought your end. He was more than happy to guide you though your high as you remained hunched over his head, hands which you now realised were in his hair, forcing his face just that much closer. 

Leaning back once you had come back to Earth, you watched him as he wiped his chin and cheeks with the back of his arm. “Thank you for the meal.” He chuckled, giving off a lopsided smile, showing off the pearly whites of his sharp teeth. He stood as he gathered up his trousers as he got dressed. “You’re more than welcome to stay for dinner in my home,” he stated as he turned to you and passed you back your clothes. 

Slowly taking them, you nodded as you got dressed despite the shake in your legs. “Y-Yeah, I think I will,” you confirmed as you slipped back into your clothes. 

“Good choice. I’m not finished with you yet, beautiful.” Leaning in, he kissed your cheek before taking his leave only to find a very flustered Eijirou waiting outside. “Something wrong?” Katsuki questioned with folded arms, knowing exactly what he was doing. 

“N-No!” the dragon protested, though the redness that was spread all the way up to his ears gave him away. 

“Next time, just ask. It’s rude to eavesdrop.” Katsuki laughed as he walked away, going to join the mass for dinner. 

“K-Katsuki! I had to make sure you were safe! After all, she’s a rogue dragon,” Eijirou protested in earnest. Though he wouldn’t admit it, that would be something that Eijirou would very much like to do. 

“Sure, sure, whatever you say, man.”

Rolling his eyes, Katsuki took a seat at the head of the banquet table, waiting for your arrival before the festivities could begin.