#haven’t finished a drawing all during june…

[vesper-the-great]

Pride month post at the end of pride month? More likely than you think!

[hannahssimblr]

The day I leave the beach feels like the last chapter of a book. I awake that Wednesday to change. The sky, which held steady and cerulean all summer, perfect, porcelain, is a mottled grey as clouds roll in over the beach. I swim, early in the morning, in a sea that is choppier than before, the waves crashing over the rocks and tossing foam into the air, and over the shore now slimy with seaweed.  

I spot Liam in his wetsuit, board in hand, and I wave. He waves back, and I have the striking realisation that this may be the last time I ever see him.

I say goodbye to Joe and Kasper at the door that morning, their PlayStation games and the half-filled bags of Doritos they never finished bundled under their arms. 

“Good luck with it all,” says Joe. “We’ll see you around.” It’s a thing you say to a person when you’re not sure you will, and as I watch them go from the window, there’s a finality to it. It’s like I’m watching them leave, not just with their games and their snacks, but with a phase of my life, too. We’ll never be together in the same way, and never be these exact versions of ourselves again. 

Shane is the next to go. After a thorough clean of the bedroom, the sheets washed and dried and put back on the bed, ready for next summer. He drops a hand onto my shoulder. 

“Good luck in Germany, yeah? Maybe I’ll come and visit.”

“You should.”

“Yeah, I might.”

“If you do, I’ll see you there.”

He nods and ducks through the door, and to his back, I shout “Good luck in college!” He lifts a thumbs up into the air, and he’s gone. 

And then there is Jen. With a click of her last suitcase, she has packed up, and in the empty house, there’s nothing to distract us anymore from the new, yet ever present rift between us. 

We’ve barely spoken since the festival. I haven’t known how to, despite her pleads, and made a big deal of getting Kasper to sit in the passenger seat during the ride home. I asked him all kinds of questions about himself, realising only then, to my immense guilt, that it was the only bit of effort I had made with him all summer. 

I spent the days between then and now away from the house. Swimming, cycling, driving into town and just looking around, reading a book while the last of the summer tourists milled about, still in their flip-flops and sun hats as though they hadn’t noticed that autumn had already taken up residence in the shadows. 

I’d come home before dark and stay in my room while the others watched their movies and played their games. One night, I heard Jen crying softly in bed. I didn’t ask her if she was okay. 

Now, once again, I avoid her as she sits on the floor surrounded by her bags, by arranging a stack of books on the shelf. One of my sketchbooks is there, complete with a thousand drawings of the summer. I leave it where it is.  

A clock ticks somewhere in the room. 

“I’m sorry you’re so mad at me,” Jen says to the back of my head. 

“Same.”

“I still think you should give me a chance to explain myself.”

I sigh. “I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“Okay. Have you seen her? Have you talked to Evie?”

“No, I haven’t.”

I turn around to see her hugging her knees to her chest. She looks remarkably small like that, and her hair, which was so bright in June, has faded with the salt water and the sun, and now her brown roots are showing. 

“I think I’d like to get the bus home.” She mutters.

“That’s alright. Do you want a lift to the station?”

“No thanks, I’ll just walk.” 

I don’t argue, and before that hour is out, she, too, is gone, and I am the last man standing. 

Turn off all the lights, switches and the hot water. Store the garden furniture. Leave the fridge running. Double check ALL doors and windows are locked. 

This is all contained in a cheerful email from my father, followed by a paranoid diatribe about all the catastrophic things that will happen to the house if I fail to comply. There’s something about a potential flood or explosion in there, I think, but I barely skimmed the bulk of it.  

Thanks for the essay lmao.

I write back.

Be home at 2.

I do my last check of the house, then stand by the door for several minutes just looking at it. The kitchen, once a hub of activity with friends chatting over breakfast and a sink full of dirty dishes, is now deserted, immaculate, and quiet. I realise I hate endings. I do not want to dwell on things anymore, or be sentimental, or hang on to the past. 

I lock the door behind me and get into my car without another look back.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[micalpixel]

May Flowers Game - June 2024 Progress Report

Another month has passed, so here’s another update on my gamedev journey. The goal is to create my first video game using the Godot game engine.

(Prior Updates: May, Initial)

Research

The main goal for June was research. Play other character/exploration-focused games with no farming or combat elements and see what they do to keep things fun. Here’s what I played (or watched others play)

A Short Hike: A game about a penguin climbing a mountain. Finding new people, new areas, and moving/gliding were very enjoyable. The game’s 3D environment with pixelated graphics was also a new experience for me. A very nice cozy game.

Rakuen: I love this game. You play as a kid stuck in a hospital, trying to help other sick patients, while also exploring a fantasy world described in a book. Lots of exploration, puzzles, and focus on characters. Catchy music too. Kind of exactly what I was looking for. I think Undertale fans would enjoy this one.

The Stanley Parable: A choose-your-own-adventure game. No NPCs, just movement and a very entertaining and well-crafted narrator.

Potion Permit: You play as a chemist who just moved into a town, and must make a living brewing potions while getting to know the town, its people, and the wilderness. The first life-sim game I’ve actually beaten. The lack of time limits was greatly appreciated.

Shenmue (Watched not Played): An important piece of gaming history. I watched a playthrough of this one, just so I could see this game at its best, and not miss any important events.

Freddi Fish 2 (Watched not Played): A point-and-click adventure for children??!… What’s this doing here?!?! Well, this one wasn’t on my original list, but I realized the point-and-click game genre had many similarities with the walk/talk/trade-items gameplay I originally envisioned. Plus this one had no game-overs and no frustrating trial-and-error like many do. Studying how a different genre handled that kind of gameplay, while making it very accessible and entertaining, was a good learning experience.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits (WIP): I started this one, more for fun than research, but haven’t finished it yet. Beautiful game. As others have noted, it’s like playing a Pixar movie.

OneShot (Not Started Yet): Ran out of time. 😒 Next month. Really looking forward to this one.

All in all, I took 10 pages of notes. Things I noticed, liked, disliked, wanted to think about.

Prototype

On June 20, I began work on an actual prototype (“Prototype 1”). Code from my earlier Godot projects was collected, combined, and improved. The goal is to implement every important mechanic in the game. Everything the player should be able to DO in the game, the prototype should have at least ONE place where the player can do it. In a very condensed environment that's easy to test. Physics and graphics can be fine-tuned later. This prototype is all about functionality. For example:

Walk in 8 directions.

Talk to an NPC.

Choose an answer when the NPC asks a question which triggers different outcomes.

Walk to the edge of a room and appear in an adjacent room.

And overall, things have gone very well! I have a page-long checklist of everything I want to implement in this prototype, and it’s about half-done. :D

Except menus.

And except puzzles.

Puzzle mechanics aren’t added yet. I realized the mechanics I was planning did not have much synergy and were very simple. I also want to review the notes I took during research and study puzzles in general. So, back to the drawing board, for now. Puzzles are the next major step. And I think I have a pretty good idea how I want to change them.

Audio

I made a text-blip sound effect (hear it in the video above) and a placeholder “song” of 6 notes to use for testing music. Since this game’s art style is based on the Game Boy, I did some research on the Game Boy’s sound capabilities.

It has four “instruments” that can play sounds simultaneously, aka “channels”:

Channel 1 and 2: Pulse Channel. Each can emit a quadrangular wave

Channel 3: “Wave” channel with user-definable waveform

Channel 4: A noise wave (think static)

Channel 3 is the most fascinating imo. You can define your own timbre of the sound to be played. If you ever played a Game Boy game that had a unique-sounding song that, chances are it was a custom waveform via this channel. (Also, if you ever played Mother 3, the movie theater part with the retro-sounding music did in fact use the original Game Boy audio capabilities in the Game Boy Advance, and also includes these sounds.)

There is software that can reproduce the capabilities described above in order to create Game Boy-sounding music on a PC. I’d like to experiment with that in the coming weeks. The Game Boy was capable of some really good music. Limiting my scope to its capabilities for the same of my own sanity, plus the flexibility of that wave channel to create custom sounds, seems like it can produce some really nice results, which is very appealing to me.

Graphics

I made a font! It only includes English letters, for now, but it works! I used it in the “Save Pointy” art earlier this week and the prototype video above, and intend to use it for everything going forward.

Closing

And that’s June! Have a nice July, everyone!

[heisttheblackflag]

Let's get ready for Alfreyco Appreciation Month!!

For Alfreyco Appreciation Month, I’ve assembled a list of prompts to use as inspiration for your art, writing, or whatever else you want to make! The month will be officially starting on June 18 and ending on July 15, and each week has weekly prompts listed with their dates below. (If you’re not able to finish your piece(s) until after the 15th though that’s totally fine; I want this to be fun and chill for everyone so feel free to post whenever you can!)

The first group below is a bunch of prompts intended for posting at any point during the month. Feel free to combine any of them, and use them for any kind of media you want!

Following those are all of the weekly prompts, which will also be posted individually at the start of every week. There are two kinds of prompts intended primarily for writing (one combination of prompts and one single prompt), and one that is intended more for visual art! Please don’t feel obliged to write or draw something for every week, but if you do choose a weekly prompt it would be great if you could post it during that week so that everyone doing that prompt can talk about your work together! <3

During the month itself, you can post all works on AO3 to the Alfreyco Appreciation Month collection, and tag “Alfreyco appreciation month 2023” or “Alfreyco month 2023” on Tumblr so we can see and reblog your works!

I hope you all are as excited for this as I am!! As always, dm me with any questions, thank you so much for sharing and contributing, and I’ll see you all in June!!

Free prompts:

Pining + “red string of fate” trope

Soulmate + reincarnation (“in every lifetime I will find my way back to you”)

Fake AH Crew sparring practice

Friends-to-lovers, person A is a prince and person B is their loyal bodyguard (bonus prompt, there’s an attempt on the prince’s life and they have to figure out who it is)

Wearing each other’s clothes

Investigating a paranormal situation which turns out to be a spirit that’s trying to matchmake them together

Friends-to-lovers, person A stands up for person B to B’s terrible ex-partner when they see how poorly they’re being treated

Hit men/assassins au

Minecraft au [a classic!]

One-shot within a YDYD season (could be Minecraft or Seven Days!)

Hurt/comfort (e.g. sick fic, FAHC post-torture or injury, rescue from a murderous cult…)

Werewolves/shifters/monsters/cryptids

Helping each other escape from being kidnapped or taken as hostages

They’re in space!

They’ve become the MCs in your favorite movie!

They’ve become the MCs in your favorite video game!

Week 1 (June 18 - 24):

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: zombie apocalypse au + fluff/sweet moments

        single prompt: person A is a witch/magician looking for their human familiar/assistant, and they unexpectedly encounter person B

Art Prompt: post-apocalypse

Week 2 (June 25 - July 1):

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: cowboy/Wild West au + heroic rescue

        single prompt: strangers trapped in a room together for a seemingly unending amount of time (either by violence outside or extreme weather)

Art Prompt: sheriffs or gold prospectors

Week 3 (July 2 - 8): (Red Web’s three-year anniversary is this week!)

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: Red Web actual investigators au + “Run! You have to keep running!”

        single prompt: person A gets kidnapped under mysterious circumstances and person B goes after them (potentially revealing scary/bamf side of them they haven’t shown before)

Art Prompt: inside the Red Web canon! (aka if they actually were the leaders of a mystery-solving taskforce)

Week 4 (July 9 - 15):

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: fantasy au + facing off with the big bad together

        single prompt: person A is easily scared and gets paired with person B to go through a haunted house together Art Prompt: high fantasy archetypes

[cupcakeinat0r]

🌵 here!!!

It’s been a while since I’ve submitted anything (it’s 25 June rn) but I wanted to say hiiiii!! My weeks been pretty great so far tbh I had a party thing on Monday evening which was SO fun. I’ve just finished rereading the prof!miguel series again (in the UK there’s currently a heatwave so I can’t sleep) and each time it just gets better and better. You inspire me sm!!!!! Maybe I’ll start writing a fanfiction one day :))

I’m an artist, so I’ve drawn Miguel plenty of times, and there’s loads of drawings that I would LOVE to show you but I don’t want to break my anonymity hahahshsfn 😭 maybe one day I’ll just be like “who cares!!” And send it through your asks. Not any day soon though, being the anonymous cactus girlie is quite fun. I’m really enjoying it actually.

How’s your week been?? Been up to anything fun?? I hope it’s been great, and if it hasn’t then I really hope it gets better!! Good luck with part 8 of the series, don’t rush it :) it doesn’t even matter if you haven’t written any of it yet haha some of the greatest works take a while to complete. I’m definitely your biggest fan and I eat up whatever you post like a hungry dog tbh (positively). Keep being amazing!!!!

- 🌵

Omg hai 🌵‼️

Aw that sounds nice, I hope the party went well luv <3

The fact that there’s ppl who reread my works is astonishing to me. Doin’ heel clicks as I type this. Tysm. AND PLEASE IF YOU START WRITING (and become comfortable enough to leave anonymity) PLEASE TAG ME I WANNA SUPPORT YOUUUU<3333 I’m honored that my fic has inspired you! Thank you so much for reading it <3 I honestly just can’t stop thanking you, you are just the sweetest <3

And omg, nationality reveal! My fic is worldwide ⁉️⁉️ I’ve always wondered where all my readers are from……🤔

Omg you draw ⁉️Artists always amaze me like I’m just flabbergasted every time I saw fanart on here. I would love to see your work, whenever you are comfortable enough <3 Can’t wait!!! You stay anonymous for however long you want, girl <3

It’s been fine, thnx for asking! Just preparing for my trip to Italy, I’m sooo exciteddd! I’ll def have time to write during my flights n my free tome before bed! Hopefully the romantic atmosphere of the Tuscan night sky will inspire some rlly nice scenes for Prof!Miguel <3

Ty my luv🫶🌵 To be completely transparent, I haven’t even started it, I’ve just been brainstorming a plot line in my head for the past few weeks, but I think I’m finally coming to the bare bones of it, so hopefully I’ll start writing it on this 6hr plane ride!

Ty 🌵, you are truly the sweetest, mwah!!!

[bvannn]

Weekly Update June 21, 2024

Really I got a lot done this week, even though I haven’t been able to show a lot. Also got out some, turns out there’s a venue a couple miles from where I work, and I went to a local punk concert. The second local band was really good, so I might go see them more. We’ll see, it’s not too pricey for one or two but it’ll pile up if I’m not careful. Anyway, art stuff.

I have a strategy for redoing the rest of the Artfight refsheets, and I’ll try to deploy it for Romeo’s this weekend, and once I’m done with the other thumbnails, the others’. Mikey’s has assets half done and Shaun’s only needs a background and it’s good. I really like how Shaun’s is coming out, I dipped into after effects again to make him glow, and I probably could have done it better, but I think for how quick and dirty it was it looks nice. I’ll try to finish it and get more assets for the others’ done tonight.

Music: BATB lyrics are done , and RR instrumental is coming along nicely, I found a nice Saturator plugin too. At the concert I wrote up a bunch of plans and lyrics for future songs, but those are on hold until everything else is dolled up. If I have time this weekend I might get some VPRs ready, but I’m going to prioritize Artfight and getting my updated commsheet ready until the end of the month. Once the rest of the thumbnails are ready I’ll dedicate my lunch breaks to music completely, since I can do everything but record then.

Other projects: OEB storyboards are going great this week, I drew up a bunch during work that I can import in, which means almost everything up through the second chorus is done. That *should* mean boards are now 64% done, although I may need to check my math on that after everything’s imported. Kyo rig is also coming along, just slowly. It’s stills background project until Artfight is done.

Speaking of projects on the back burner, comic is still coming along nicely. I’m really only able to do sketches for it while I’m at work so now multiple pages are in progress at once, but page 8 is all sketched, page 9 is mostly sketched. If I find the time to do lineart I’d like to, but again Artfight is taking priority.

Commsheet update is also something I’d like to do before July, I need one more practice drawing for that to get the basic grid done, and I’ll add in other options as addendums in the future. I’d like to throw in tween animation and music options, and some math is being done for those too but I need to gather more data first. I might push a bit harder to get stuff done after Artfight, though.

I’m really tired still so tomorrow I’ll plan to take kinda easy, then Sunday I’ll unload a bunch of linework. Tonight I’ll rest a while then finish up Shaun’s thumbnail, finish up assets for Mikey’s, and see what else I can get done.

[icejinlov3r]

Today has been a weird day. My emotions have been kinda everywhere today.

I was mostly in a good mood this morning till I left for work. Then during work, I kept feeling moments of exhaustion, irritation, annoyance, and more. And nothing bad even happened, just tiny little inconveniences mostly.

And yet by the time I dragged my exhausted self back home all I wanted to do was lay down and cry.

Like Kami, what the f**k?!

*inhales*

*sighs* Anyway, I’m fine now (mostly). Just tired (even though I just got done with a nap). Don’t expect any chapters of Little Tykes or oneshots to be done today. I might draw a picture or two instead. But tomorrow is my day off, so I should be able to get back onto Little Tykes.

Also I’m just really proud of my progress with Little Tykes. I haven’t done this amount of consistent writing since maybe….Dungeons and Dragon Balls? And Little Tykes *needed* this attention, since I started it back in f**king December! Then only did a few chapters before putting it off for months! Twice! I’m about half way through it - probably more actually - and hope to finish it sometime in June. Hopefully the motivation will stay with me till then.

[brodudemanbroski]

hey, ever heard of bbc ghosts?

I made an au that is based on the show BBC Ghosts, yes with the foreign kids. Do I have designs for everyone, except for the more background people? Absolutely. Have I written a small fic already? Of course. Have I finished the character sheets? ..Stop asking questions.

If you don’t know what BBC Ghosts is, it’s a sitcom on BBC about a couple inheriting a home. One of them, Alison, has an accident that almost killed her, causing her to now see ghosts. It’s a really funny show and if you haven’t watched it, I highly suggest it!!

Heads up: I do not draw injuries, other than cuts, often. So they might not be the greatest. Plus, they were all drawn at different times.

Damien moves into a new home after being kicked out of the house. The house is small but cozy, plus it’s affordable so he’s not complaining. A week into moving in he injuries himself to almost to the point of death as he has one of his new neighbours over. Surprise surprise, this incident causes him to see ghosts, and lucky him!! He has ghosts in his home. Damien has to figure out how to live his life with dead people watching his every move.

Damien Thorn

(Drawn: June 28th.) Damien’s design. Unlike most of the people in this AU, he is very much alive so his design is simpler. He has a burn mark on his arm, a reference to the original character having fire powers because I love adding small details despite this one being big. There isn’t much to talk about for him, just.. let him rest.

General Gregory

(Drawn: May 2nd.) Gregory’s design. The first one to die in the group. He was giving a speech after him and his soldiers won a battle but fell off his horse.. which then startled it, which caused it to run right over him. He was a british general during the 1780s, his outfit reflects that as it is his uniform. Gregory is still as prideful as he was during the afterlife, he is friends with everyone except for Christophe. The two share a small rivalry, no one knows why or how this happened. His characteristics consist of: bruises, blood dripping, missing/chipped teeth, hoove prints, ripped clothes, and dirt.

Phillip Pirrup

(Drawn: April 26th.) Pip’s design. Phillip was the second one to die in the group. He was in search for a new home and decided America must be perfect after hearing all the wonderful stories. That dream was quickly killed along with him as he was beaten and thrown into a rushing river by locals. He was from the 1800s. He is friends with everyone, he is closest to Gregory as they had been together the longest. Phillip was the first one to ever consider Damien as a friend and not a threat to the quiet home, though he had suggested trying to scare Damien out of the home. He will not go outside or by the river as he is scared of what could happen, he has also a dislike for some of Damien’s neighbours. His characteristics consist of: bruises, blood dripping, water dripping, and ripped clothes.

Lady Estella Havisham

(Drawn: April 28th.) Estella’s design. Estella was third to die in the group. She was walking in the garden of her future husband, only to be killed by him in the back with a shard of broken glass in his arms. They were to be wed the next day. She was from the 1880s. She is tough to befriend, seemingly disliking everyone that she lives with. She has befriended Pocket and.. the man downstairs.. Though, she does not show that friendship between them often. Estella hates the afterlife as she finds it boring and useless, she wishes to get sucked off (passed on, yes, they call it sucked off in the show) but she knows it won’t be happening soon. Estella will not go out into the garden, especially with the statue of her “fiancée” standing proudly in the centre. Her characteristics consist of: bruises, blood spatters, dirt, cuts, ripped clothing, stained clothing, smudged lipstick, and stab wound on back (not visible in image).

Herbert Pocket

(Drawn: May 22nd.) Pocket’s design. Pocket was the fourth to die in the group. He had been walking to work during a stormy day, similar to the rest, only to be struck by lightning as he neared his workplace. He was a newspaper worker, selling and producing from the 1910s. He was very friendly and instantly tried to befriend every new ghost that came, he liked to ramble on about stories he had from his life and things he had seen in the newspapers he had worked on and sold. Pocket tries to make the most out of everything so he finds the afterlife quite calming. His characteristics consist of: burns, smudged ash, and a burnt photo.

“The Mole” (Christophe)

(Drawn: April 29th.) Christophe’s design. Christophe was the fifth to die in the group. Him and his troop had been trying to find a place to relax for the night and also keep watch, Christophe had been leading the troop. He found a spot in a field, this turned out to be hiding land mines across it. Christophe blew up in seconds. He was a solider from the 1940s. Christophe came off as cold and rude but opened up to the rest of the ghosts as the years went on, but his rudeness decided to stick with Gregory. He often pokes fun at Gregory with simple insults and comments. His characteristics consist of: burns, dirt, ash, burnt clothes, slight bone showing, and left leg burnt (not visible in image).

There is a lot more to this AU, which is more simple details for each ghost, the neighbours, the man in the basement, and much more. I’m open to questions, ask away. This AU is still in progress.. kind of? So. Yeah. I’ve had this AU for months and I love it for no reason. I will hopefully finish their character sheets, as there are some details I added to them which I like. Just gotta write!!

Sorry for the long post.

[dear-wormwoods]

Happy New Year!

I know I haven’t been posting much lately, but I do like to write something every year on New Year’s Eve so I can look back on things if I want to in the future.

So 2023 was a pretty awesome year for me, to be honest. I really didn’t accomplish any of my goals from my last New Year’s post, except for continuing my Duolingo streak, but you know what? It’s totally fine. I set myself back financially and made no progress on getting in shape, but I had a lot of fun!! And that’s really what this year, particularly this summer, was about.

Travel Highlights:

Went to Colorado in June/July, had an amazing spa day and fancy dinner on my birthday, did a bunch of really cool hikes and took a ton of photos, had more fancy dinners, saw 4th of July fireworks over the Denver skyline, went to museums including the Molly Brown house and the best prehistoric exhibit I’ve ever seen, saw moose and elk, and generally had the best time ever.

Visited my aunts in North Carolina for the first time, and had a great time. They convinced me to treat myself while we were at a real jewelry store so I got myself some diamond earrings. Because why the hell not? I’m an adult with a salary, and I don’t need to save or put toward bills every penny I make.

Went to Ocean City in Maryland for the first time as well, which was a ton of fun even though I’m not the most beachy person ever. Ate crabs, got wasted, rode rides, saw wild horses, and then afterward went to Hershey Park which was also a lot of fun and had great roller coasters!

Went to Colorado AGAIN spur of the moment in November because we finally got invited to go to Casa Bonita. So we did that, of course, went on an awesome winter hike in RMNP, got massages, and had a fancy dinner at a Chianti event in Denver.

I also went to a few shows this year:

Iron & Wine in July which is definitely a highlight of the year because he is my favorite musician and I’d never seen him before. Super intimate acoustic show so I didn’t get any pics or videos but I’ll remember it forever, especially that he played my favorite song!

Modest Mouse, Lord Huron, and a bunch of smaller bands at a two day festival in August. Such a fun time, and both headliners were SO good. Lord Huron is a newer find, but I’ve been listening to Modest Mouse for over a decade and never saw them live!

Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service in September, for the 20th Anniversary Transatlanticism and Give Up tour. This was my second time seeing Death Cab but this show was special because both bands played those two albums in full, and Transatlanticism is one of my favorite albums ever.

Other cool things:

Went to a fancy tea room in Boston.

Saw Titanic in theaters TWICE during the 25th anniversary rerelease.

Saw a queer comedy show.

Practiced drawing more, but not as much as I’d like.

Went to the gym slightly more consistently.

Cooked some great meals.

Started writing a fanfic I love, which I truly do intend to finish!

Went on a couple of writing weekend trips to Maine which did of course include lobster and a dessert bar.

Had many snuggles with my cats.

Made sweet desserts for my family’s Thanksgiving and Christmas get togethers.

Played a billion hours of The Sims, and took hundreds of screenshots for my save’s very extensive family tree.

Cut down on waitressing hours at the expense of my savings account so I can have weekends back and not burn out so easily.

Other than all that, I went to work and that was fine, tried dating a few times but nothing panned out, and just kind of hung out and did my thing most days.

Huge shout out to @terieri who not only is my travel buddy, but also willingly came to all those concerts, and is the only person who is as invested in my Sims lives as I am! This year would have been super lame without her.

2023 was all about having fun, exploring, doing new things, and eating great food. It gave me a lot of memories and while I know I won’t be able to afford having another year like this for some time, hopefully I can make 2024 pretty great too!

I hope you all have a wonderful night doing whatever you choose to do on New Year’s Eve, and that 2024 starts off amazingly for you all. For myself, I like to get takeout and play video games so that’s what I’m going to do.

❤️

[summmeister]

A look over the art I made in 2022

Once again, a year has flown by, and I’m none the wiser to the sheer amount of progress I’ve made with my art over the past 12 months. It’s astonishing now to look over all the drawings I’ve created, comparing the earlier ones to the later ones, and seeing clear as day how I’ve gained a clearer eye for detail, style, and consistency.

In this post I’ll be going over the past 12 months of my art and briefly explaining any pieces that stand out, showing how they made an impact on how I approach the hobby of illustration.

JANUARY

To kick off the year, I participated in HillelArt’s Rhythm Heaven art collab! I both contributed an art piece and helped with the project itself, creating the grid and frame that artists would use to draw their pieces around. I also created a much more in-depth reference sheet for Skweeb, a major upgrade from the previous, more lore heavy sheet I had made in November of 2021.

FEBURARY

February was an… interesting month, shall we say. There was a trend involving, well, I mean I feel like the images explain themselves. I feel oddly compelled to do this again, and I have no idea why.

MARCH

March was a depressing month for me. I was having an odd crisis around my art style and where I should go with it. Some of these pieces look very different than anything else I had put out this year! I ended the month with a drawing of Jevil. My second attempt at drawing the character, in fact. I hate this drawing. To be quite honest, I think it’s the worst thing I put out this year. I hated it so much I immediately went in for a second attempt. It would be finished the next month.

APRIL

On the 1st of April, I finished my newest Jevil drawing. I’m quite proud of this one, I think it’s one of the best things I had put out up to that point. A lot of my friends agreed with that as well. It’s put together fantastically. This drawing also marked me switching my pen that I use in Clip Studio Paint to Real G-Pen. The less blurry lines allowed my art to stick out more, I feel.

This month, I also created the main artwork for Skweeb that I continue to use, even now. I think I’ll update it soon, but it’s lasted for longer than any of the previous “Renders” I’ve made.

MAY

May was generally uninteresting. I was busy with college work, so I didn’t experiment too much. I continued to improve this month, experimenting a little with smooth shading. I also made a piece I will only show and not talk about whatsoever.

JUNE

June was, again, generally uninteresting, But I did create 4 new original characters this month! It had been a while since I last create new OCs, and I felt a drive to create new ones. I do quite like them, although I admit I haven’t given any attention to them since, and I should create new follow-up art for them.

JULY

During July I participated in 2022’s Art Fight! Because of this, there’s only a couple drawings from this month that aren’t related to the event. However, these couple pieces I feel are important. They’re both Don’t Starve drawings, predominantly featuring the character Wortox. These are an extremely large bump in quality to what I had been making previously that it actually scared me a little. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to follow up to the first drawing, but I luckily proved myself wrong and proceeded to make a new piece of art I’d consider even higher quality than the previous. Quite happy with how July ended up!

AUGUST

August was a very dead month for art. I was VERY burnt out from making so many pieces for Art Fight, so there’s only one drawing from this month, however, it’s no small drawing! It’s a large collection of my favorite demons and imps from media that inspire me.

SEPTEMBER

September marked the first month I’d try to experiment with art more, and actually being successful! I started off the month with remaking emotes I had made earlier in the year, under a new style which would stick out much more. I like how these emotes turned out, and the style works well for both Dark Mode and Light Mode users! Next up, I created the character Lucy, which you’ve likely seen me post about recently as I redesigned her only a few days ago! (As of this post.) I also created this moody and atmospheric drawing of a plague doctor, where I tweaked around with colours to show warm lighting.

OCTOBER

Skweeb turned one year old! I made a fan art collage to celebrate, but that’s not really original art. This month, I was also given access to a drawing tablet with a screen and used it to create a drawing for Klei’s yearly Halloween fan art event for Don’t Starve Together. Once again, I’d experiment with smooth shading here, coming out to very interesting results indeed! While I’m firmly sticking to flat shading for now, I can definitely see myself to returning to smooth shading in the near future as I attempt to get better at it. I think some surfaces look much better when shaded smoothly!

NOVEMBER

November was another month that doesn’t have much of note except… Courtney… I don’t have much to say. No, not at all.

DECEMBER

And finally, we arrive at December! THIS MONTH!!! I experimented with editing colors on drawings to match the atmosphere, with blues for colder environments. As you could likely guess, I tried this out with a Christmas profile picture. I think it came out quite well! As well as this, I (VERY recently) Decided to switch to a community CSP pen for my drawings, as I’ve grown a little tired of the rougher pen look. As of right now, I’m quite happy with the change, although feelings can always alter down the line!

Once again, we arrive at the end of the art recap. While most people simply just put together a simple image, I like to go into detail how I was feeling throughout the year and anything that might have changed how I approach illustration. 2022, suffice to say, contains maybe even more progress than 2021!

Last, but certainly not least, I, once again, have redrawn my first ever piece of art I made when first delving into this hobby. I hope you like it!

Bring on 2023!

[cheer-soli-art]

It was a good year for art

Commentary for each artwork under the cut :D

February - biblically accurate bam - This was back when the jokes of ‘biblically accurate (insert noun here)’ had really hit mainstream, or maybe I just finally got inspiration to do something about this topic. Since Bam is the night, I added the usual night symbols of moons and stars. The waves at the bottom represent how the tides change with the cycle of the moon, and it ties in well with the idea of Bam being a ‘new wave’ in the Tower.

February - biblically accurate bam - This was back when the jokes of ‘biblically accurate (insert noun here)’ had really hit mainstream, or maybe I just finally got inspiration to do something about this topic. Since Bam is the night, I added the usual night symbols of moons and stars. The waves at the bottom represent how the tides change with the cycle of the moon, and it ties in well with the idea of Bam being a ‘new wave’ in the Tower.

March - double city - An artwork that I haven’t released anywhere on the internet until today, as it was part of a school exhibition. The idea behind it was taking the place I grew up in and the city I lived in at the time and merging them into one location, representing how I am influenced by both cultures.

April - Marpril Colors Series - 17 Azure - This was a series of sketches I did over March and April, as a countdown for my return from Tower’s Tale (TT) hiatus. During these months, I was busy with school stuff and working on TT, so I didn’t have much time or desire to make other artworks.

May - Part 1_Page 201 - I started working on this TT page in December of the previous year, as the scene this page is a part of was important for me (oh, and the plot too). I was still practicing a new style, and though I don’t like it as much now, I still think it was worth the experimentation.

June - yanfei.jpg - This one was part of a Six Fanart Challenge that I never finished. Whoops. Anyways, I drew her because she’s the character that I’ve played with the most. I’m really proud of how I was able to capture most of the details, especially that staff, haha.

July - KBWday5.PNG - Ah, yes. The KhunBam month, where I spend 3 weeks thinking about what to post only for me to procrastinate on it until KhunBam Week arrives. I like this artwork because it’s where I finally started using references (lol), as well as understanding more organic backgrounds.

August - glitterandgold_01 - One of the two artworks I made for a WIP Big Bang. This is also the first artwork of the entire year that I finished on my laptop instead of my phone, as I had lost my stylus and only bought a new one around this time. I like that I was able to carry the dramatic mood from the sketch to the final version.

September - Part 1_Page 237 - There wasn’t a lot of artwork activity this month, apart from TT, so here is another page I’m really proud of. I wanted to communicate the overwhelming difference in power between the characters, so the pages before have a lot of open paneling and negative space that progressively build up to this one, which covers nearly the entire background in green. The frame around Goseng and Bam is actually the same proportions as the usual page border, but shrunken, to make it look like the fire was spreading beyond the edges of the page, to really emphasize the probable helplessness Bam is feeling in the situation… Sometimes, a lot of thought goes into these pages.

October - kitsune khun - This is a drawing I made for a raffle winner on Twitter. I included it here because this and the other artworks I made that week felt like they ‘clicked’. They were the ones that all the process from previous artworks were leading up to - finally I had an artwork that I was very satisfied with, where the process was fun and the final result was pretty to look at too. I’m a huge fan of using complementary colors, especially orange lighting and blue shadows..

November - Snow Study (gasp) - I don’t do studies as often as I should, so this one came as a surprise. I save a lot of images from Bing’s daily wallpaper, and since the cold weather was coming, I painted this chilly town with one as a reference. I also wanted to update my blog so it matched my current style, so this was drawn for that reason too.

December - ‘Polaroid’ mini series - “with hyung.png” - This is one of four artworks I made in a ‘polaroid photo’ style. I really like that aesthetic. There is something very nostalgic and deep about it - capturing a moment you deem important. Taking the context of polaroids and film into account, you don’t have the luxury to take various copies of a moment and pick the right one afterwards like we do nowadays, so ideally you’d want everything to be perfectly in place and extremely important before you press the shutter. And yet, in these ‘photos’, the moments captured are not of grandiose events or life-changing moments, but of casual, daily life. I wanted to appreciate the ordinary in this small series. Maybe I’ll revisit it next year.

Bonus round

There were a few artworks that didn’t make the cut, but I still wanted to talk about them. So here they are.

“A summoning ritual (that worked a little too well)” - This is where I started the habit of drawing genshin characters when I wanted them on my team. Though this one is a little rough around the edges, I still like the colors and texture of the artwork.

“met gala hwar” - I was watching a video talking about how the Gilded Gala was a disaster (unsurprisingly), and one of the looks that went by (as examples of what worked) caught my eye. So I drew Hwaryun in it.

“Part 1_Page 216.PNG” - I have a very consistent system for numbering pages - just thought you might wanna know. I didn’t count this one in the final cut because some of the panels here were from pages drawn last year, so I felt that I was cheating a bit. There is a lot of thought behind this particular panel, but I will discuss that one when I release the full cleaned-up version sometime in the next few months.

“a precious jewel” - This artwork means a lot to me. Though it was rather quick (done under an hour, curse my comic panel habits), a lot of ‘feeling’ went into it. I think that out of all of the artworks, this is the one where I’m pouring what I’m actually feeling at the moment - I can’t quite put it into words here (as it is a little awkward, and I’m afraid of things getting lost in translation too), but I’ll try. I think that for that hour, I understood where Khun was getting at with the jewel metaphor, but rather than wanting to hide someone away, it was more of wanting to keep those feelings close to my heart… that kind of thing.

“Bleak December_07” - My entry for Secret Santa this year. Just thought I’d include it. I signed up to an email address sending Edgar Allen Poe’s works, and was floored by The Raven, so the title and tone of this short comic reflect that too.

“fall for you, fall for me” - i like khunbam. and i like autumn, now. i like coloring khun’s hair, ‘cuz its color can look so different under different lightings. it’s a simple and easygoing artwork. i like simple and easygoing things sometimes too.

[kentnaturaltribrid]

• “June is the Pearl of Summer, shining with warmth and joy.”

• “From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.”

Below is Another one of the Eldritches. Had to go on and attempt at making one of them be screaming or at least an attempt at making some noise, which is the upper right hand area of the scenery. Also have it being quite embraced as of well, afterwards of course. So went with green and pink on either sides. Lastly, went with the Darker Renstics for the most part . The eyes being dark blue and the rest being rustic browns for the body and legs . Of which this little one has 10, roughly. Getting there, but for the time being might not have much time for them during the Weekend to make. The shrinking takes at least an hour and then making them takes another hour or so to get them where I want them to be, and then there’s well putting them in the finish and all that while takes about another hour or so depending on the loose ends that needed the most time to fix and all that. Then there’s that even at full size, still have something to finish, but that will have to wait. However, these little ones are not exactly the easiest to have a finished one upon the piles and Ontop of that their proportions are usually a one leg that which is must be of equal length roughly or else close to equal that which gives it more than enough time and flexibility of space within the 4 by 6 regardless of whether or not there’s time for one of them to be finished. Anyway, doing most of them during this June through possibly even July for the most part as there’s at least enough time for that to be fair enough for the pile to be built upon over time. As it is June 1st, there’s also not much else to do that will finish off the project or off the pile especially now that it’s Completely missing the pieces of the Eldritches and also a few other things, but those can be done later much more than these little ones. Plus, there’s not much else that fits the pile of it in any of the colors that I have available and at the regular ready, which doesn’t say much else except that I haven’t had much more than time to replace the ones that got finished off and haven’t had much time for doing much of anything than these little ones or other projects in the last few weeks so that’s about it and it’s not like I’ve had any other projects in the pile except for those which should’ve been finished a while ago. Besides, these little Eldritches are mostly for passing a large amount of time on making pieces that definitely fit with the much darker theme including that which fits with the other ones that I have in the other drawings of the journal pages that which consist of a few other ones of Dark secrets and other dark knowledge and stuff like darker sides and souls amongst other things they also have darker colors for representative and also they have many of them a dark past or small pieces of which they have a lot of dark events in one go or even darker than usual personality type. Of which they’re complicated, but still have similar patterns of the same variety of personalities and various secrets amongst many things else. Still quite complicated and complex towards a level of depth and even a level of lesser than standard knowledge is not exactly going to help with that they’re beings of power and intelligence rather than beings of knowledge and experience, they’re much less likely to be a lot of the things that which one would expect from them to be. For one thing, they’re from the start all knowledge in only one areas and advanced aspects of the universe and the other is that they are not exactly the same types as the others of their own, especially since some of them have less complexity and lesser levels than most of the similar characteristics that which they share but with that said they interact with the other of which is the members and the peoples of whicb they have the strongest connection and the most interested in the individual influence on the universe from them is highly complex. They’re basically a Zerkith level of complexity rather than Zenith. That being said , they’re not all in one place at every aspect of time and are much more complex.

• “That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.”

[huge-enthusiast]

MIRACULOUS FIC RECOMENDATIONS!! (Part 2)

You can find part 1 here.

The first one was really popular! So I decided to make a second part.

The rules are the same:

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don’t put the author’s tumblr is because they didn’t put it in the fic or/and I couldn’t find it.

The only thing that changes is that I would be putting the pairing in the description of the fic.

Without further ado...

Written in the Stars by Boogum (@botherkupo here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Marichat and Adrienette.

He was the god of destruction. She was a princess whose kingdom had been prophesied to fall. To save her people, she became his wife. To save him, she would have to do the impossible. The castle has secrets, the gods are watching, and time is running out.

Chapters: 37/37

TW for mild violence.

Arrange marriage, God AU. While I'm making this list, I still haven't finished the fic, but I had to recommend it because is THAT good. The way I gasped out loud while reading some of the plot twists. The worldbuilding is so good, and even if you aren't into AUs that deviate a lot from cannon like me, I 100% reccomend it.

Need a Lift? again by Boogum.

Pairing: DJWifi

Getting stranded on a foreign planet sucked. Luckily for Nino, his rival was willing to give him a lift home. Unluckily for Nino, she was beautiful and funny and he might just be in love with her.

Chapters: 1/1

Space Bounty Hunter AU! Really sweet and funny. If you are into flustered!Nino then this fic is for you.

hey, you by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

“Have you ever had a dream about someone that changes the way you think of them?”

or Adrien has a dream about Marinette.

Chapters: 1/1

Okay so, peachcitt is one of my favorite ml writers. Everything that they write is sooo good y'all, and i'm already a sucker for adrienette, so I cannot recommend this fic (or any of theirs) enough.

double dare again by peachcitt (I told ya!)

Pairing: Ladrien (with lots of sided ladynoir)

“Don’t ever do that again,” Marinette says, maybe a little too emphatically, and Adrien looks at her, his expression quiet. His cheeks, Marinette notices, are a little red.

“But I wanted to save you,” he says.

or Ladybug and Adrien can't seem to stop running into each other. (whether that is on accident or on purpose is nobody's business but their own, of course).

Chapters: 30/30

This was a ladrien june fic! Every chapter corresponds to the day's prompts but it also continues a story. If that doesn't make you want to read it then I don't know what it will. I fear fanfic writers, they're insane.

(not) so much by therentyoupay (@therentyoupayfanfiction here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Marichat and adrienette

(The claws are sharp, but the host of Destruction—for all of his loudmouth chaos and lack of reserve—is paradoxically careful.)

Chapters: 1/1

In which Chat Noir pays a visit not long after Marinette has made a pretty difficult decision, and they accidentally make a routine.

Prompt: Marinette gives Chat a hickey. Adrien has a suspiciously similar looking hickey the next day at school...

Gotta be honest with y'all, I did not expect this fic to be as good as it is. The adrienette has everything a stablished!Marichat should have. Marinette conflicted with her feelings? Check. Adrien being a hot mess bc That's My Girlfriend But She Doesn't Know That? Check. Them being absolute idiots? Check. It's good!

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News (Your Lips Is The Only Cure I Could Use) by BreG21.

Pairing: Adrienette

Rainwater sloshed up from the pools they had made on the sidewalk and coated his jean pants with every step he took. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He sniffed away some of the water that dribbled down his matted head. "Yeah?"

He paused as if to consider his words while Adrien stared down at him, so lost. "You weren't wrong when you thought you knew. A part of you wanted it to be her, but it was too perfect, you let the illusion fool you because how would you get that lucky. But trust me, Adrien. You weren't wrong."

He wasn't wrong? What was he not wrong about?

You weren't wrong. You want it to be her.

And it finally clicked as a small gasp wisped past his lips. He wasn't wrong.

In which, Plagg falls ill, and with Fu gone and Ladybug being the guardian now, has to go find her civilian self-even with the knowledge that she might not like that-is shocked to realize that even with having the kwami that was supposed to embodied the very being of bad luck, Adrien could conclude the very opposite of what he had thought for so long.

He was so very lucky.

Chapters: 1/1

I screamed so hard while reading this fic. It's just one of those who gets the characters right. Do you like a good reveal? Go read this now.

Operation Mega Sleepover by InTheWild (@smellerbeee here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

When Alya and Nino drop out of their long awaited mega-sleepover at the last minute, it leaves Marinette and Adrien alone together for the night. An Adrinette one-shot with lots of fluff and sleepover shenanigans.

Chapters: 1/1

I just,,, I love adrienette fluff so much,,, I love them,,,

You, Me & A Little Bit Of The Future by joonapeach.

Pairing: this is a fortunate case of all lovesquare shenanigans™

Marinette expects some disaster on her first outing alone with Adrien.

She just doesn't expect that disaster to be her future self passing off a baby for her to take care of with Adrien.

(Alternatively... two idiots obliviously in love cooing over their daughter while acting like they have no idea whose kid this is.)

Chapters: 1/1

I think the description says anything that it needs to be said. It's really sweet and funny and I love how they just change their minds so quickly and get emo for literally nothing. Peak shakesperean dumbasery.

The entire Marry That Girl series by Miraculous_Max (Maximilian_Alexander).

Pairing: Adrienette

Let’s say Marinette has a special sketchbook. This sketchbook is filled with drawings of their future house, of Adrien as an adult in multiple occupational settings, of Marinette and Adrien’s wedding, and most importantly, their future children.

Let's say Adrien found this sketchbook.

Works: 8 (All are 1/1 chapters)

Just realized how this list exposes me as number 1 adrienette sucker... oh well. I love how Adrien doesn't feel weirded out by the intensity of Marinette's crush. He likes it! He's as weird and romantic as her! That's one of the reasons I love the lovesquare so much and it makes me happy to see that everyone is in the same boat with me.

Strenght by 11JJ11.

Pairing: Adrienette

Marinette knew she was much stronger than she looked thanks to being a hero. So when her class had an arm wrestling contest she knew that she could beat all of them with ease, but she wasn't expecting anyone else to come close.

Chapters: 1/1

Good ol' accidental reveal feat. the entire class shenanigans. I, once again, screamed for an adrienette fic. Who could've thought.

Super Fan by Taliax.

Pairing: Ladrien

It was a good thing Alya was holding the phone and not her, because it would have slipped from her fingers and shattered. How had she not noticed? She had been there, and somehow she’d missed her crush looking at her like she was an angel sent from heaven.

Forget the perfume ad. This picture was going to be her new desktop.

(In which Marinette realizes that she and Adrien might both be obsessive fans.)

Chapters: 1/1

Canon divergent from after Gorizilla. They're so dumb. That's my opinion on this fic.

How to Kiss Your Crush in Five Minutes or Less also by Taliax.

Pairing: Ladrien

He just needed to know if Ladybug needed Chat Noir. He didn't expect to learn just how much she wanted Adrien.

This would be the best five minutes of his life, if he didn't expect her to forget it.

Chapters: 1/1

CW for making out.

Set during Desperada. I promise there's a happy ending. Also Luka is there for some reason, felt really bad for him.

Laying Down the Rules: The Gabriel Agreste Clauses by LadyKae

Gen

Adrien leaves the manor on a dark and stormy night and seeks sanctuary at the only place he feels safe: The Home of the Dupain-Cheng Family. When Sabine learns why her dear boy is fleeing to her home in the middle of the night, she makes a personal visit to one Gabriel Agreste.

There's more rules in play, but not for Adrien and Marinette.

Chapters: 1/1

This is just Sabine going to beat the fuck out of Gabriel and it's really satifying ngl

4am. by hannieks

Pairing: post-reveal lovesquare

In which Adrien has the cat tendency to wake up their owners at stupid o'clock, and Marinette just wants to sleep. Cuteness ensues.

Chapters: 1/1

Really short but really sweet. If you like Adrien acting like a cat then you would like this.

Can I Date You(r Character)? by midnightstarlightwrites (@midnightstarlightwrites here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

Adrien turned to her, something unreadable in his gaze. “Are you ok with this?” he asked.

And what a loaded question that was. Was she ok with it? Was she ok with the one guy she couldn’t seem to get over in real life kissing her in a game of Dungeons and Dragons? When she put it like that, it seemed a bit silly to get so worked up.

It was just a game...right?

She was ok with it, right?

“Sure,” she lied. “I’m ok with it.”

When Adrien's character falls in love with Marinette's, they decided to date in-game. What could go wrong?

Chapters: 7/?

THIS ONE IS SO CUTE. You want to scream??? Read this.

two idiots and a hamster by Boogum (again) and carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Pairing: Adrienette

How do you hide your superhero identity from your roommate? (spoiler alert: badly)

Chapters: 5/?

Once @anna-scribbles described this fic as "is literally the closest i’ve ever seen a fic come to matching the energy of canon", and I couldn't have described it better.

And that's all for now! Next time I will probably make an only DJWifi list since I've been treating them so dirty lol.

[angstama]

god knows you tried | manjiro (mikey) sano

pairing: bonten!mikey x reader 

genre: angst

warnings: heartbreak, attempt suicide(?), original characters/manga plot (pls do not read if you haven’t read the manga D: ), mentions of religion, implied sex (no smut ok!)

summary: god knows you tried your best. if only mikey knew how hard you’re trying too then perhaps this love wouldn’t hurt as much as you thought. 

 words: 1823 words 

 a/n: i think this sucks but... i hope you enjoy it! <3

god knows you tried.

you watched the ex-toman boys eagerly catching up with takemichi quietly, hands resting against your chin as you took in the rare sight in front of you with a sad smile etched on your lips. this was the happy ending that mikey had sacrificed for everyone but himself. 

“a penny for your thoughts?” mitsuya asks, plopping down next you on to the stone steps. that’s right, it’s june 19th 2018, toman’s formation day anniversary and everyone had gathered around to re-open the time capsule from twelve years ago. “hm? nothing much. just missing a particular someone.” you hummed, dragging your fingers across the ground to draw a heart. mitsuya nods understandingly, knowing not to pry any deeper anymore and for that, you’re thankful. 

crouching down, you hesitantly picked up the the blue coloured envelope you left behind twelve years ago. unsure if you’d wanna read the contents of the letter your naive self written back then. with a deep breath, you slipped open the cover. revealing a photo of candid photo of you and mikey leaning on each other asleep with your mouths wide open taken by emma. 

dearest y/n, 

i wonder what you’re doing right now? 

are you perhaps finally studying in film? 

has that idiot manjiro finally proposed to you?

 or are you the one who proposed to him? 

“y/n, you’ll be with me for a long time right?” mikey asked, staring at the very sky that you both loved oh so very much with your hands intertwined. having grown up with each other since young had pretty much given you both the illusion that the two of you will always be a part of each other’s world. and you hoped with every inch of your heart that mikey wants it to be that way forever. “of course. you’re my heaven and home mikey. i wouldn’t go anywhere else without you by my side.” you squeezed his hand in assurance, knowing that at this very moment, mikey was at his most truthful and vulnerable self with you. 

whatever it is, i hope that you’re living the happy life with him that you’ve been dreaming of. 

signing off, 

toman’s honorary member, y/n l/n. 

everyone was silent. even hakkai who had been making fun of everyone’s letter kept quiet. the boys knew how much you loved and you still love mikey. each opting to give you the concerned and sympathetic look. you could feel you heart breaking even more for you knew you weren’t doing anything that you had hoped for back then. 

you felt mitsuya’s comforting hand softly grabbing onto yours. “well that’s depressing,” you chuckled softly, wanting to get rid of the awkward tension in the air as soon as possible. “let’s grab some ramen, i’m starving.” and with that, you let your feet drag you away from the heavy atmosphere with your head hung low. 

perhaps the hurt wouldn't be as painful if you weren’t the only one who knew what kind of path mikey had chosen to go down. you see, when mikey turned his back against all his closest friend, you had the privilege of staying as his only constant thanks to your stubborn nature but even with that, you weren’t enough to keep him away from his dark impulses. mikey chose the path to destruction and the only thing that you could do was watch from the sidelines and be there when he shows up at wee hours of the night to borrow your body. but you didn't mind. it was during these most intimate moments with mikey that you finally get to feel a piece of him again when he spews the words of “i love you” so effortlessly. 

god knows that you tried. 

“mikey those aren’t good for you.” you frowned, snatching the capsule away from his hand seconds before he could flush it down his system. “what the fuck y/n?” the angered male snaps. you felt yourself falling and back colliding against the hard ground. opening your eyes, you see mikey pining you down with nothing but void darkness in his eyes. “i’ll fucking kill you if you do it again.” mikey taunts, he was serious and you know it. 

“then kill me mikey.” the words slipped out of your tongue instantly. you were tired. tired of trying. you don't know what else can you possibly do to help mikey anymore. mikey says nothing but got off you. he dusted himself and without sparing you single glance, he showed you his back again, walking out of the door where sanzu was already holding open for him. “get her home.” you heard him say. 

it’s been a week since you guys opened the time capsule. nothing much had happened since then except you’ve been spending more time with hina considering how she’s often over to mitsuya’s studio for gown fitting. you admired and envy her love story with takemichi. but who were you to complain? you were lucky enough that mikey still wanted you around. so it shouldn’t hurt so much when you sae her adorning the beautiful wedding gown that mitsuya had spent months on tailoring. 

you let out a tired yawn, stretching your arms above your head as you finished touching up the last few bits of editing on your laptop. you looked over at the calendar on your table, a pink heart circled over today’s date and smiled. “mitsuya, i’m gonna knock off first okay?” you announced, tidying up your table and reaching out for the bag of the familiar favourite deserts of a certain male. 

mitsuya nods, “thank you for your hard work y/n”. he flashes you a smile, eye slowly trailing to the white plastic bag dangling from your side as you waved goodbye, back facing him and walking away. “you’re going to see him aren't you?” you stopped in your tracks. “i know he never left you. plus you got a bag filled with dorayakis and taiyakis. that’s pretty obvious.” mitsuya chuckles. you always knew mitsuya to be perceptive but it never once occured to you that your best friend who is also your boss would ever catch on to the secret you’ve been hiding for twelve years. 

“how did yo-” 

“be careful y/n.” mitsuya waves you off, going back to whatever he was doing. a fond smile creeps onto your lips as you watched mitsuya working hard. “thank you mitsuya. for everything. really,” you whispered, but loud enough for the dual dyed coloured hair boy to look up again when you walked away. 

you made your way towards the secluded vip section of the club through swarms of body swaying around you until you saw the familiar tall pink haired male standing outside the golden door. 

“hey sanzu,” you greeted, barely audible over the loud booming music. you were about to push the door open when sanzu towers over you immediately, denying you of your entrance. you looked at sanzu in confusion, “it’s me, y/n. i’m here to see mikey.” you said loudly, voice straining to over power the background noise. “ i know. but mikey will not be seeing anyone right now.” he retorts back. 

surely mikey knew that you were visiting tonight right? after all it’s your anniversary date. you tilted your head at sanzu. not fully understanding what he’s saying. to say that you’re feeling absolutely livid would be an understatement right now. you’re too tired, angry and broken hearted to process anything anymore so you exploded. you only wanted to see your boyfriend. was that a very difficult request? 

“sanzu,” you said lowly, eyes staring blankly into his and as if on cue, you brought your knees to his precious manhood before making another high kick at him, bringing him down. it was a technique that mikey had taught you when you were younger and attending martial arts lesson together with baji. god you missed baji so much. 

“y/n because you’re short, you can do this instead.” mikey suggested smugly, kneeing poor baji’s little friend before swinging his legs much more harder than he intended to at baji’s profile when he bent forward. the main point was to get your opponent to lean forward so that your legs could reach high enough to create an impact on their skull. you eyes lit up in excitement, “wow! that’s so cool! let me try it!” you jumped impatiently. turning towards mikey to execute the exact same move. “wait n-! AHH,” mikey’s eyes widened, and before he knew it, you had completely knocked him over. 

that day, as mikey and baji lied down with pain still intact barely moving an inch, shinchiro only gave you a thumbs up and praised you for taking down the invincible mikey. you were the only one who could do that. 

“sanzu, i’ll see my boyfriend as and when i’d like to.” you said curtly, eyeing sending daggers at him lying on the ground before stepping over him to swing the door open, revealing your petite self to the other bonten’s executives and hostess who were staring at you in surprise. 

you don’t see anyone else but your lover who’s currently sitting in the center with two pretty hostess sitting by his side. you don’t hesitate and begun walking  towards him. “get your hands off my man.” you said calmly. there was tension in the air and from the corner of your eyes, you could see the executives slowly getting up to leave as if on cue. 

“aren’t you as stubborn as always,” he raises a brow as you settled down next to him, pouring the bag of dessert on the glass table in front of you. you smile softly, grabbing a packet of taiyaki and handing it to him before grabbing one for yourself too. “happy 14th anniversary mikey.” you mumbled softly before grabbing a bite.  14 years, that was how long you two had been together for. “mhm. happy 14th anniversary y/n.” mikey hums, allowing you lean in close to him and resting your head on his chest. 

you take in the scent of mikey for you knew that this is going to be the last time you’re going to be able to hold mikey close to you. you didn't want this moment to end but you were too tired to continue on and see what's going to happen the next when you go back to just another normal day. you held tightly to the gun you hid in your bag, shutting your eyes tightly. 

“hey mikey,” you called out. you never thought you’d see it again but you saw a flash of endearment in his eyes when you called him. “i love you so much, promise you’ll take care of yourself alright?” you smiled warmly before pulling the gun out of your bag and putting it against your head. 

god knows you tried. 

god knows you did your best and now you’re going home. 

bang!

[kindahoping4forever]

...Ready For It? // Ashton Irwin

Thank you to everyone who said they wanted to read this story, whether it was in the poll I posted 12 hours ago or when I first posted In My Dreams... You Should See The Things We Do back in June (!) - I actually started working on this not that long after I posted and while the skeleton concept stayed the same, everything else was kind of fluid until last month when I finally felt satisfied with it. As always, thank you to @cal-puddies​ for listening to me whine and obsess over every detail and for (virtually) slapping me upside the head every time I said I was going to just scrap it (and there were many times, trust.)

Note this is a sequel but I think there’s enough context within this piece that you’d be able to enjoy as a standalone if you haven’t read or forgot what happened during In My Dreams...

Warnings: Sexual tension, frustration and resolution. I couldn’t figure out how to do specific warnings without also spoiling the narrative (yes, really) so this is kind of a blanket fluffy smut warning. The sex is explicit in detail but not extreme in nature. ‘Tis a soft, dirty story you’re about to read. Also yes, Ash wears the mountain pants again and no, I will not apologize. 

Word Count: 10,555

Masterlist // Ko-Fi and New 2021 Taglist linked above

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

“I can’t say this is how I imagined getting you out of your clothes for the first time but after months of isolation, I’ll take what I can get,” you quip.

Ashton giggles as he peels off his button down shirt, leaving him in a classic white tank. “I can’t say anything about tonight has gone the way I imagined it would,” he confesses. “I’m sorry things have been kind of a bust.”

You try not to blatantly ogle his muscular build as you playfully jab, “You mean, you didn’t spend all that time longing for us to spend hours waiting outside a restaurant for a socially distant table only to be turned away because now it’s closing time and ending up having to eat drive thru burgers in the backseat of your car?”

“With ketchup dripping all over one of my best shirts? And you saving the day with a suspiciously convenient stain remover pen?” He riffs, passing his top to you.

“Exactly how I pictured it,” you shrug, dabbing at his shirt with the aforementioned magic pen.  “Shame, our fantasies tend to match up a lot better than this.”

You’d never thought much of long distance relationships and you especially never thought you’d find yourself in one with only a few miles separating you but 2020 had been full of surprises; getting to know Ash had turned out to be the silver lining in an otherwise terrible year. 

You’ve each reflected on it plenty and agreed it seems as if your connection was destined to see you both through this strange period. You met at the last party you were invited to before quarantine started, you ran into each other again at the last concert either of you got to attend. Your first date was also your final restaurant meal, the last time you went to a movie was with a group of mutual friends and you sat next to him, giggling like a teenager, intentionally brushing his fingers in the popcorn tub.

When the stay at home order was issued, it didn’t take long for you to check in with each other and while it wasn’t an easy time, you were grateful to build a bond with literally no outside influence. And now after countless texted inside jokes, heart to heart phone calls (and more than a few naughty ones), restrictions had been relaxed and you were finally able to reunite. Only the real world is proving to be a bit more complicated than either of you remember.

“You know, I’m not usually a ‘hop in the backseat on a first date’ kind of gal, but this is pretty fun,” you joke.

Ashton grins. “If it makes you feel any better, I think technically this is maybe our third or fourth date?”

“Anything pre-quarantine doesn’t count,” you shake your head insistently. “That was a lifetime ago, another world. I cook now, I go for walks, I do crosswords now. Whoever you went out with in The Before Times - I don’t know her.”

His loud laugh fills the car and the warmth of it overwhelms you; after months of hearing it through a speaker, you can’t believe you’re finally getting to witness it in person. 

"So if we’re starting over at square one, then what’s the explanation for that kiss you laid on me when I picked you up?” He teases.

“I’m a complex woman, I feel like you should know that by now,” you reply with a coy shrug, handing him his now stain free shirt.

The two of you finish your meals, chatting happily and making non-stop jokes about what a fail your date was. You’re relieved at how natural things are flowing; you knew there was undeniable chemistry but part of you was still nervous about getting used to being around each other - another person, even - again. But beyond the standard date jitters, things were comfortable and familiar.

Your anxiety briefly returns as he pulls the car into your driveway. Of course you want to invite him in, you’ve been waiting so long to invite him in but things just feel… off. You turn, ready to offer an apologetic goodnight but before you get a chance, he’s turning to look at you sheepishly.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but would you mind if we maybe called it a night?” He rushes out, nervously running a hand through his hair. You watch him, fascinated. You’re still not used to how long his hair got in quarantine and you’re definitely not used to seeing him bashful. “I know we joked about it and I appreciate you being cool about everything but I really did want to give you the night out you deserve… and that just didn’t happen. I’d like to try again.”

Your heart swells at his sincerity; he’d always been so genuine and open over the phone, but it’s almost overwhelming experiencing it while he’s looking into your eyes. “Have I never told you that ketchup stains are one of my biggest turn ons?” You tease, hoping to ease some of his obvious embarrassment. “Hey, we’ve waited this long, what’s a little bit longer?”

A little bit longer ends up being the following weekend. It turns out, coming up with romantic and yet responsibly distanced date ideas is harder than either of you thought. With you both having the luxury of working from home and generally not having to venture out unless absolutely necessary, you both decide you’re most comfortable with eliminating the public out of the equation as much as you can.

You settle on a short hike followed by a picnic and when you open your front door you realize just how unprepared you are for the concept of Morning Ash. You smile to yourself as you realize that he must have overslept as his face is still adorably puffy from sleeping, hair still wet from the shower. Yesterday’s five o’clock shadow is still present - he must have been running so late he had to forego his morning shave. The thought of waking up next to him looking like this pops into your mind, that soon you could be the reason he’s running late in the morning and your stomach actually drops.

You push your thoughts aside as you move to greet him with a hug; his cologne is prominent and obviously freshly sprayed and you think to yourself that you're excited to smell like him for the rest of the day.

“Got a surprise for you in the car,” he murmurs.

You’re in the middle of wondering how he makes even a simple white t-shirt look devastating when he opens the passenger door for you. Before you even climb in, you’re instantly greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and breakfast burritos and he chuckles at the way your face lights up. 

“Flowers seemed too formal for a morning date, I figured caffeine and grease was just as nice.” 

“I’ve never felt more seen by a partner,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a sweet, slow kiss. 

You start to pull away to get in the car but Ashton snakes his arms around you and draws you back in for a few more smooches. “Figure we should get as many of these in as we can now, those burritos are no joke,” he laughs.

It’s a bit of a drive to get to a hiking trail that seemed unlikely to be crowded but you don’t mind. After months of waiting to be in this man’s presence, the more time you can spend with him the better. The trip passes quickly, with the two of you basking in each other’s company, play-arguing over playlists and agreeing that “when this is all over” you should plan a road trip together.

“Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves,” he observes, pulling the car into the empty lot. He’s first out of the car and you hear a distinct “UGH” from him as soon as he steps out. He sees your puzzled look through the windshield as he walks around to your side to open your door. “I didn’t expect it to be so fuckin’ hot,” he explains.

You get out and instantly scrunch up your face as a gust of hot wind breezes over you. “Well, we did travel more inland, I guess it makes sense it’d be a little warmer,” you reason. 

You commiserate about the weather and then Ash starts gathering your things from the trunk of the car, taking non-essentials out of your backpacks since the heat is going to make your hike a lot less leisurely than planned. 

Despite the weather, the first portion of your hike is nice: you stroll and talk, enjoying the scenery and your time together. Ashton brought his camera with him and you catch him sneaking a few photos of you along the trail so you teasingly start snapping an excessive amount of pics of him using your phone.

As you get closer to the area you planned on stopping at for lunch, the heat starts getting more and more intense. The morning clouds have now dissipated and the sun is bright and unrelenting, causing the conversation to drag as you both start breathing a little more labored, focusing on getting to your stopping point as quickly as possible. It takes a lot longer than expected and by the time you reach your picnic spot, you’re both exhausted and covered in sweat.

You spread a blanket on the ground and immediately throw yourself on it, grateful for a chance to rest. You look up and see Ash peeling off his t-shirt and draping it over a rock in hopes it will dry before you have to head back.

Normally you’d be silently reprimanding yourself for staring at his bare flesh on display but truthfully all you’re thinking about is how much skin he’s exposing to the sun. “Think we left the sunscreen in the car,” you declare, sitting up to dig through your stuff. “As much as I’m enjoying the show, you’re gonna get fried if you don’t throw that back on.”

He sprawls out on the blanket next to you. “We’re shaded, it’ll be fine,” he insists, pulling his sweat-soaked hair back with a rubber band from his wrist.

The picnic is pleasant but far from the romantic adventure you’d envisioned. You’d hoped the two of you would be laughing under a tree, eating a delicious meal as an equally delicious breeze grazes your skin. The reality is the two of you sitting in silence because you’re so uncomfortable under the unforgiving sunshine, eating food that you would’ve preserved better had you known about the weather, as a hot wind scorches your skin. The part of you that had fantasized about sneaking in a heated makeout can’t get enough of the irony that this date is definitely heated, just not in the way it should’ve been.

With the peak temperature of the day still to come, you agree to call it and head for the car already; Ash puts his shirt back on and you notice him wincing as he moves his obviously sunburned skin, but you choose to say nothing.

The trek back is quiet, both of you physically drained and a bit mentally defeated at yet another date gone awry. At one point, you stop in a shaded area to catch your breath and you give him a quick kiss. “Had fun,” you say quietly. He offers you a soft smile in return.

The drive home is equally lowkey, the discontent and exhaustion of the day filling where there should be sexual tension. He knows the mood has deflated considerably so he doesn’t even ask you to come back to his, he just drives you home. 

The car pulls into your driveway and you turn to him. “Think we’re cursed or something?” Your voice is joking but he can detect the undertone of worry.

Ash gives you a bright smile that’s instantly a comfort. “Nah… maybe cursed with too much ambition and insufficient planning skills but I have no doubt this is exactly where I’m meant to be.” He reaches for your hand, interlacing your fingers and kissing your knuckles.

He walks you to your door and gives you a long kiss that almost has you reconsidering inviting him in. “We got this,” he whispers. 

You ruffle his hair. “I’ve also got aloe you can borrow for these sunburns, how are you even able to move?” You laugh, unlocking your door.

A few days pass before either of you broach the subject of another date; you’re finally the one to bring it up and you both agree on a simple dinner at home for the next night.

“Third time’s a charm, right?” You joke as he opens the door.

He draws you in for a slow kiss as you step inside. You murmur when you feel his facial hair brush against you; his beard is fuller than when you last saw him and you suspect he may have quit shaving simply based on the reaction you’d had to the look on your date. “Well, we’re already off to a good start, I’d say,” he comments against your lips.

You’ve only ever seen Ashton’s house in the background of your video chats and when he notices you looking around with fascination, he excitedly offers to give you a tour. You swear you can actually hear your heart going pitter patter as he proudly escorts you around, sharing funny memories about his friends involving each room or telling elaborate stories about different trinkets he owns. You can tell he’s missed entertaining people in his home and you’re so happy that you’re able to fill that void for him tonight.

You follow him to the kitchen. “Smells amazing, must be quite the dish,” you tease, knowing full well you sent him the “secret” recipe for your grandma’s spaghetti sauce the night before. He pokes at you and you giggle, “Anything I can do to help?”

“The groceries should be delivered any minute,” he answers, checking his phone. “There’s gloves and sanitizer wipes under the sink if you don’t mind taking care of that when it arrives.”

A few minutes later, you peck his cheek as you pass by to go outside and tend to your assignment. Ash nearly spirals when it’s discovered that the shopper made some substitutions without asking but you reassure him that dinner’s not ruined even if the sauce uses regular sugar instead of brown and will be poured over fettuccine noodles instead of spaghetti. 

“Not to jinx anything but I think this is our best first date yet,” you joke after dinner, getting out two coffee mugs from the cabinet he’d directed you to.

“All we had to do was eliminate the variables: other people, the weather, the outside world in general,” he ticks off the list on his fingers with a smile.

You hit the brew button on the coffeemaker and slide closer to where he stands loading the dishwasher. “Well. Just proves that all we really need is each other,” you muse, with a sweet smile. He grins at you, drying his hands so that he can cradle your face and kiss you. His hands are soft from the soap he just used and you sigh approvingly into his mouth as his thumb draws circles on your cheek.

That flirty but sweet tone continues as you move to the living room; you sit on the couch, drinking your coffee, chatting comfortably. You both keep finding reasons to scoot closer together, a thick layer of tension between you. You’d each talked a big game when sharing fantasies about what your first time might be like but now that it might be here, you’re surprised by the hazy combination of excitement and nerves you feel.

It’s hard to say who makes the first move: there’s a lull in the conversation and then suddenly, a kiss. Ashton’s hands quickly make their way into your hair and before long, things get heated and you find yourself climbing into his lap to straddle him. This was about as far as things had gotten between you pre-quarantine and it’s as glorious as you remember.

You roll your hips above him and he groans into the mark he was leaving on your neck; your shirt rides up with your movements and his fingers softly dance over the exposed skin. As you nibble along his jaw, his hands find their way up the back of your shirt and you shiver at his warmth. You put your hands on his wrists, guiding them up, letting him know it’s OK to take your shirt off; he does and you silently thank your past self for wearing one of your pretty bras tonight. 

“So beautiful, baby,” he breathes and then his mouth is back on yours, hands busy exploring the new skin on display for him. You shift your hips again and this time find yourself the one to groan, feeling him hard beneath you for the first time; you’ve spent a lot of time wondering what this would feel like and it’s more intoxicating than you ever could’ve imagined.

Ash lifts you off his lap and lays you back on the couch, peeling his own shirt off before moving to be on top of you. He kisses you hungrily and then makes his way down your body, the scratch of his beard deliciously teasing you, lips pecking over every inch of your neck before they attach to the tops of your breasts.

You pull him back up to your mouth and slide your hands down to unbuckle his belt. You brush over his length through his jeans and nearly gasp at the contact; you know he’s not even fully hard and he feels huge. This revelation has you getting impatient and you attempt to push his pants down. "Jesus dude, are these painted on or what?" You joke, struggling.

 "Hey, I could ask you the same thing," he retorts, running his hands along your ass to prove his point. With a goofy smile, he asks, "Should we pause and de-pants ourselves?" 

You laugh as you untangle yourself from his body and pull your pants off while he does the same. He eyes your matching lace lingerie and teases, "That’s some mighty fancy underwear you've got on there, Miss ‘Let’s Take The Pressure Off And Not Expect Anything To Happen Tomorrow Night’.”

You feel your cheeks warming at both his gawking attention and his implication you were hoping things would end up this way. You playfully fire back, "Maybe I dress like this all the time, you don't know me… or maybe I wanted to feel sexy for myself tonight." You try to pull him into a kiss but he pulls back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Or maybe I'm really behind on laundry and I only have the nice stuff left," you say with a sheepish giggle. 

“That I believe,” he laughs delightedly. "Whatever the reason, you look fucking incredible.”

You intend to murmur a thanks but the way his kisses are currently being  peppered in between your breasts causes it to come out as a moan instead. His fingers toy with the closure of your bra and he looks at you to softly ask, “May I?”

You nod enthusiastically and close your eyes as his mouth acquaints itself with your bare breasts, your hands tangling in his hair. Your mouths find each other again, tongues familiarizing themselves with every detail of each other. You reach between your bodies and grip the tent in his underwear; you trace the shape of him through the material and he breaks your kiss to let out a strained moan. “God, I can’t wait to make you cum,” you murmur, a bit surprised by your own boldness.

You feel Ash breathe deeply, affected by your words. “Well, I’m afraid I have a strict ‘ladies first’ policy in this house, so I clearly need to get started,” he jokes, attempting to steady himself. “Bedroom?”

He helps you off the couch and you start to reach for your discarded clothes but he pulls you along, shaking his head. “You won’t be needing those for a while,” he grins.

You follow him to his room, impressing yourself with how steady on your feet you are, how calm you feel; your heart is racing but it’s from anticipation instead of uncertainty, which is unusual for you when you’re about to sleep with someone new. You tend to make these decisions impulsively, with a bit of a “fuck now, ask questions later” attitude. The fact that you’ve waited for this long to be with him and that you feel totally at ease, wandering through his upstairs hallway in just your panties, is the latest in a series of signs telling you that your feelings for Ashton are different.

You settle on the bed while he pauses in the doorway, fiddling with the dimmer on the light switch, determined to get it just right. He finally comes over and you don’t waste any time, climbing over to the edge of the bed to pull off his boxers. His cock springs free and you bite your lip, hoping you’re not actually drooling like you fear you might be.

“You good?” He goads you with a smug smile. During a couple of your video romps, you’d gotten yourself off with toys and he teased you about your selections, calling you a size queen. As you find yourself fascinated surveying the notable length and girth in front of you, you have to admit, he’s not wrong.

You silence his remarks by leaning forward and tentatively licking his tip, closing your eyes in satisfaction when you taste a drop of precum. You roll your tongue around the head, tracing every curve and ridge with your tongue. When you get comfortable enough to wrap your lips around him and slowly start taking him into your mouth, he quietly breathes your name, brushing your hair out of your face, and you feel like you could cum right then and there.

He senses your eagerness and lets you work for a bit longer before he gently pulls you off with a heavy sigh. "Ladies first, remember?" He rasps, flashing you a dazzling smile that would've made you weak even if he wasn't naked in front of you.

He gestures for you to lay back as he kneels at the edge of the bed, dragging his beard across your thighs before hooking his thumbs in your panties to slowly pull them off. You close your eyes, a blissful, close-mouthed smile decorating your face. Ash groans, gazing up at you. “Do you have any idea how many times I laid in this bed picturing what it’d be like to have you here like this?” He asks, raising himself up to kiss you passionately. “Better than I ever could’ve imagined.” 

His lips travel back down your body and you’re so caught up in how dreamy it is to finally feel him like this, you don’t notice he’s already made it back down your body and you cry out when his tongue licks a bold stripe up your center. You’re almost certain you feel him smile against you, proud of the reaction he’s achieved. 

You run your hands through his long hair, trying your best not to tug at it too much, although you suspect he might enjoy that. He alternates between soft, fluttering licks at you and long, intentional strokes, using every centimeter of his wide tongue. It’s overwhelming but you breathe deeply, trying to maintain control; it’s when he wraps his lips around your clit and starts sucking that you start writhing, your legs involuntarily closing in around his head and you tap at him to get his attention.

He immediately pulls back. “Too much?” He reassuringly squeezes your ankle, looking at you encouragingly. “Tell me what you need, sweetheart, wanna do what I can to make you feel good.”

You sit up on your arms, lightheaded from both pleasure and his care. “Ash, oh my god, it feels amazing,” you insist, reaching out to brush his hair out of his eyes. “I just… I really wanna cum with you in me... and I can’t always go for two… and it was feeling so good right now…”

Ashton leans up, pausing your nervous rambling with a sweet kiss. “Hey, it’s all good, I’m glad you told me,” he soothes. “Do you want to go ahead or do you need more time? We can do something else to get you ready. Your call.” 

You grin and guide his hand to run along your wet folds. “I think this qualifies as ready, don’t you?” 

“Alright, cheeky girl,” he teases, casually lifting his fingers from your wetness to his mouth, tasting you on them. “Still, there’s lube in the left nightstand if you want to get it out just in case.”

“Gentlemanly offer and a brag at the same time, I’m into it,” you laugh.

He giggles loudly, moving off the bed. “Gotta grab the condoms,” he explains, leaving the room.

You retrieve the bottle of lube like he suggested and tidy the bed up a little bit, adjusting the pillows to make yourself comfortable. He’s gone for what feels like a long time but you chalk it up to your excitement for what’s about to happen. You sit back, surveying the room, making mental notes about different things you want to ask him about later. Finally, you hear him call your name from down the hall and you curiously holler back at him.

He pops his head in the room, looking mildly panicked. “Please tell me you saw a box of condoms in the groceries you put away,” he inquires breathlessly.

Your heart sinks. “Um… no? I didn’t,” you take a steadying breath, bracing yourself for what seems like very bad news. “It was mostly food. And the napkins we used. Toothpaste I put in the bathroom. No condoms.”

Ash inhales sharply, nodding rapidly, which unsettles you; he comes to sit on the edge of the bed and drags his hands over his face and through his hair. “Well. This is just never gonna fucking happen, I guess,” he declares dramatically. You feel weirdly exposed now that the mood has shifted and you reach for a blanket to cover yourself with before you crawl over to him.

You rest your head on his shoulder, letting him know you’re there. He smiles sadly and strokes over your hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. I hadn’t dated in a while and then with lockdown… I didn’t know until yesterday what I had was expired so I tossed them and ordered some today… and they’re just… not here,” he says regretfully.

You chew your lip, evaluating how you should respond; you’re disappointed, obviously - very disappointed - but Ashton is clearly upset with himself and you don’t want to make him feel any worse. “I suppose it’d be irresponsible of me to suggest we ignore this road block by employing the old ‘spray and pray’ method?�� You joke… at least you think you’re joking.

He snorts, turning to look at you with a smile on his face, which makes you feel better about things. “I’m sure you’re not serious but no, after all this time, after we finally had the perfect date, no, I’m not going to pull out and ‘spray and pray,’ he chuckles.

You smile back at him. “Well,” you start flirtatiously, “I meant it when I said I couldn’t wait to make you cum.” Your fingers dance along his bare thigh, travelling close to his softened cock. “We can still fool around, if you want.”

He looks at you fondly, squeezing your hand on his leg. “I really don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Ash, as sweet as you are, this is an entirely selfish act on my part, I really just want you to moan for me,” you smirk, moving to sit back against the pillows. “Plus this is possibly the most turned on I’ve ever been and if I don’t get off soon, I might actually die.”

Grinning, he crawls up the bed and settles in next to you. “Well. Can’t have that, now can we?” He teases in a low voice, kissing you with an intoxicating restraint. “Got anything particular in mind?” He feels you sigh against him as he gets his mouth on your neck and his hand on your breast.

It takes you a second to find your voice again, still getting used to the novelty of being able to feel his touch. “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind getting my mouth back on you,” you confess with heavy breath. “Or we could just, you know, play with each other.” You slide your hand down to find his cock, lightly rubbing your fingertips up and down his shaft, feeling it start to rise for you again.

Ash groans and throws his arm around your shoulders, turning so that you’re cradled into his side. Your hand lazily drags over his length while he holds you, kissing you with a renewed intensity. The arm around you softly massages your shoulder while his free arm is exploring your body: palming your breasts, twirling your nipples, fingers caressing the rise and fall of your tummy. 

He breaks the kiss as his hand makes its way between your legs, tentatively brushing along your inner thigh, watching you closely as his fingers move to trace your lips and then your folds. He swirls through your wetness and then gently starts rubbing your clit; your hand instantly stills on him and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“This feel alright?” He asks, studying your face. 

You take your free hand and place it on his, encouraging him to apply more pressure. “So good, Ash,” you murmur, raising your mouth to his again, eager to have his affection completely enveloping you.

You resume your motion on his cock, stroking him firmly, listening for the hitches in his breath or gentle grunts to tell you that your instincts of how to please him are correct. You try to recall what you can from the months you spent watching him touch himself online; you vividly remember him twisting over the tip while he used his other hand to cradle his balls. You give it a try and he lets out a loud moan, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

The two of you familiarize yourselves with each other’s bodies, savoring the noises you’re pulling from each other because although it’s not the first time you’ve ever heard them, it’s the first time they’re being caused by you. 

Ashton’s fingers tease along your entrance and you can’t breathe out a “Please” fast enough; he slides two fingers inside and starts thrusting. He starts with a moderate pace but you’re so worked up, you’re bucking against his hand almost immediately, overwhelmed at the thought of some part of him finally inside you.

You try your best to keep jerking him off but it’d be an understatement to say you’ve become distracted as his fingers move in you; you whisper an apology as you let go of him, starting to lose control, digging your nails into his bicep, whining at how you can feel it flex from the way he’s working your body. 

Ash can’t get enough of how receptive you are to him so when you mutter out another “Sorry” upon realizing how red the skin around his snake tattoo is from you holding on to him, he squeezes your shoulder in reassurance. “Listen, you can scratch that thing clean off if it means I’m making you feel that good,” he teases, nipping at your neck. “Are you as close as it sounds like you are?”

You’re sure your cheeks must already be flushed but you still feel them warm up at the implication that he recognizes your noises from quarantine. You nod, chest heaving, trying to catch your breath.

"Do you need something different to help you finish or keep this up?" He asks, understanding in his eyes.

You groan and jump as his fingers hit your spot again. "Um, actually I think I’d like if you went back to just my clit."

He nods, following your instructions. He rubs careful circles, checking your face to see if he’s getting the pressure right. You start to tuck your face into Ashton’s chest to minimize your reactions but he tenderly pulls you back to lay with him, stroking his hand through your hair to soothe you as he feels you start to shake in his arms. “God, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful like this,” he praises, sucking below your ear. “Let me hear you, baby, you always sound so good when you cum for me.”

His raspy affirmations work in perfect tandem with the vigorous movement of his fingers and you begin to unravel. You breathily cry out his name as your back rises off the bed and your hands fly out on either side of you, one gripping the sheets, the other grabbing for his arm again.

Your hips buck, riding the waves of pleasure surging through your body. Ash watches you carefully, continuing to work you until he detects a slight wince of overstimulation and he removes his hand, deciding to kiss you through the rest of your orgasm. 

Your body finally relaxes and while you’re definitely exhausted, you’re also eager to satisfy him in return. While he presses kisses over your face, whispering quiet praises as you settle, your hands move to explore his body again, one caressing at his chest and abs, the other taking hold of his cock, making good use of the precum he released while playing with you, starting to build momentum again.

He groans, closing his eyes, losing himself in your touch. You can't resist shifting slightly to travel down his body, pecking your way down his stomach, nibbling at his hips before moving your lips back to his cock. You suckle at the head and the throaty "Baby" you receive in return is already worth your trouble.

Ashton traces designs on your back while you suck him off; he constantly murmurs encouragement, which you appreciate because your heart is racing, this is the first time tonight you've felt truly nervous. You've always enjoyed giving head but you've fantasized about blowing Ash for so long you were slightly afraid it might not live up to expectations - for the both of you, since you'd shared many fantasies with him.

You try to pace yourself, not wanting to get greedy and take too much at once, using your hand to make up for what your mouth can't handle yet; every time you pull off to catch your breath and check in with him, he sweetly wipes at your mouth with his thumb and it's much cuter than it should be, considering the situation.

You bob along his shaft a few more times, fluttering your tongue along the underside, finding a particular vein you remember him paying special attention to. Your memory serves you correct and he emits a surprised whimper. He squeezes your shoulder a few times and you pull off curiously.

"Want your mouth on mine when I cum," he rasps.

You quickly reclaim your place laying in his arms, kissing him as requested. It’s just a few tugs until his breathing starts to stutter against your lips. "Fuck, yes, cum for me, Ash," you murmur, letting out a little moan yourself when you feel his cock throb in your hold.

Ash huffs out short belabored breaths as he moves his hand down to join yours, showing you how to work through his orgasm, adjusting slightly so that his cum shoots on to his own stomach instead of yours.

You lightly kiss him through it until he pulls your hand off of him, lacing his fingers in yours, squeezing briefly. You lay back in his arms, basking in the intimacy of the moment.

He pecks your forehead before he regrettably pulls away from you to gesture towards the tissue box on the bedside table. “Would you mind?”

You start to reach for it and then pause, deciding you’re comfortable enough to make a request. “Actually… could I…?” You trail off, raising your eyebrows as you steal a glance at his torso.  

Ashton chuckles out a surprised “OK” and then you’re quickly shuffling down his body to get your mouth on his cum covered skin. He breathes in sharply when he feels your warm breath on him and his stomach flutters under your tongue as you clean him up, blissfully humming as you discover his taste.

Your hair falls in your face and he brushes it out of the way, not wanting to miss a second of what you’re doing. When you’re finished, you sit up and daintily wipe your mouth with your fingertips. You catch a glimpse of Ash looking downright dazed, chest still heaving from his orgasm, eyes glazed over from watching you eagerly volunteer to lick up his release.

With the heat of the moment having passed, you start feeling slightly self-conscious about your boldness. “Was that over the top? I feel like that was too much for a first time, oh my god,” you laugh, hands covering your face nervously. “I just… on our calls, every time I would watch you cum, I would just… think about it…” You shake your head, surprised at your own behavior.

He laughs and reaches for you, kissing the top of your head as you lay against him. "Just the right amount of 'too much', trust me." His voice gets deeper as he leans in to whisper, “I’d thought about it too, for the record. As fuckin’ hot as I’d thought it’d be.”

You lay quietly wrapped up in him for a bit longer and when you move to get out of bed, he grabs your hand, squeezing it gently. “D’ya wanna stay tonight?” He asks, hazel eyes swimming with sweetness and sincerity. “I didn’t want to jinx it and get stuff for breakfast but I was thinking we could order in.”

You smile brightly, leaning in to peck his lips. “You can finally make me your famous coffee you’re always bragging about,” you tease.

“It’s disgusting, you’ll love it,” he grins, playfully pinching your ass as you get out of bed.

The next morning you wake up to the feeling of Ash climbing back into bed beside you. You open one eye and look him up and down suspiciously. “Where have you been?” You murmur.

He settles on his side, pulling you closer to him so your faces are inches from each other, at the edge of your respective pillows. “Ordered breakfast already, had to go unlock the front gate,” he explains, voice still thick with sleep. He strokes your hair and smiles at how you close your eyes, melting into his touch. “Sleep OK, baby?”

You feel your lips curl into a dreamy smile; you already knew you loved hearing him call you that but hearing it in his deep morning voice is fucking transcendent. “To be honest, it’s been so long since I slept next to someone, I wasn’t sure how it was gonna go at first,” you laugh, scooting closer. “You’re warm, though, which was nice.” 

“Well at least I have that going for me,” he jokes with a mock pout, which you promptly move in to kiss right off his face. You enjoy a sleepy, slow makeout for a few minutes and then he pulls away. 

He takes a deep breath before quietly saying, “Hey… I wanted to apologize for how I acted last night with the whole condom thing. I just got so frustrated because it seemed like we’d finally gotten it right… but that kind of negativity has no place in our relationship. Especially in a situation like that where you were feeling disappointed and vulnerable as well. So I’m sorry.”

“Ash,” you whisper softly. You take in the sight of him: long, dark curls darting out every which way from sleeping, scruffy beard you’re still certain he grew just for you, lips swollen from your kisses. His eyes are gorgeous as always but you can see the concern and remorse behind them and you feel like you can’t put him at ease soon enough. “You don’t have to apologize, it was disappointing and you don’t have to be Mr. Positivity 24/7 if you don’t feel like it. Not for me. I’d rather know how you’re really feeling.” 

“I guess I thought this would be easier. We’ve had so long to think about being together and to plan for it and it’s just been a constant let down,” he admits.

You chew your lip. “Well, listen. Last night still worked out? We still got to be intimate, I still got to experience waking up next to you. Sort of,” you tease. He cracks a smile and you couldn’t be more thankful. “But what you just said, maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe because we had so much time to think about this, maybe we’ve built it up too much in our minds and we’re just setting ourselves up to be disappointed.”

He nods, mulling over your words. “Like the fantasy was important during lockdown but now it’s tripping us up. If we were in more normal circumstances, we would’ve just slept together without much thought.”

“You really think your game’s that good?” You joke and he pinches you in response. “You’re right, though, I haven’t thought this much about a first time since I was a virgin.”

“So we need to find a middle ground between this idealization we’ve invented and doing it just to get it over with,” he suggests.

“Exactly,” you peck his lips in encouragement. “At the end of the day, it’s just sex. I’ve been looking forward to being with you, not to some super romantic, candlelit lovemaking experience at the end of a dream date.” “Whenever it happens, it’ll be perfect because we’re perfect,” he smiles.

The two of you carry that mentality with you throughout the next couple weeks. You hang out, go on a couple dates and even end up having a spontaneous video sex session like old times. You still burn with desire nearly every time he’s near you but removing that looming pressure to set the mood really does help put you at ease with each other. You feel more connected than ever, like you’re able to focus on him now instead of the experience.

“The drive-ins are opened back up now,” Ashton mentions during your afternoon call. “Think you might wanna catch a movie tonight?”

“God, remember movies? That could be fun,” you agree.

“A buddy of mine went last weekend, opened up the hatchback, put a bunch of pillows down, made it nice and cozy. Thought I might ask if I could borrow his car… we could have a little picnic back there before the movie,” he proposes.

You smile to yourself, loving how excited he gets planning dates. “Better bring your comfiest hoodie for me to steal, we’re gonna get fuckin’ snuggly.”

Ash loves a good reveal so when he picks you up, he’s sure to walk you around the front of the car so you don’t peek in the back of the mini SUV. You have fun teasing him on the way there, adjusting the mirrors, exaggeratedly acting like you’re glancing over your shoulder; watching his eyes go wide and hearing his stern “Hey!” simply never gets old. 

Amused as he is by your game, Ashton knows how to tease you right back and when you arrive at the drive-in, before he gets out of the car to finish setting up, he offers you a kiss and a quiet warning of “Be good” that basically guarantees you’ll stay in your seat until he says otherwise.

After a few minutes, he finally calls you back there and you’re blown away at the elaborate transformation. He pops the hatchback up to reveal the back rows of seats have all been laid flat and a thin layer of memory foam lays across them, covered by piles and piles of blankets. Pillows of every shape and size adorn the setup, along with a small cooler and a tote of movie snacks. In the center of the makeshift bed is the pizza you picked up for dinner and two champagne flutes filled with your favorite soda.

“Ash,” you coo as you climb into the back of the car. “This is so fucking cute? You said your friend put some pillows down, not made an entire love nest back here.”

“Well, I may have embellished a little,” he chuckles modestly, following you inside. “One of our first hang outs was at a movie, so I thought our grand return should be special.” 

You grin as you serve pizza onto each of your plates. “That feels like that was a thousand years ago but I still remember the chill that ran down my spine every time you leaned over the armrest to whisper some comment about the movie.”

“Yeah? I remember being nervous because I couldn’t tell if you were aroused or annoyed, to be honest,” he laughs. 

“Oh it was definitely both at first. You talked a lot and I didn’t pay LA ticket prices to hear your commentary track,” you giggle, playfully shoving his shoulder as his jaw drops. “But then I decided I really liked how it felt to have you pay attention to me.”

“And of course what I was saying was clever and enlightening and added to your cinematic experience,” he adds on with a smirk.

You give him a tight-lipped smile, raising your eyebrows in exaggeratedly mocking agreement. He flicks your leg in response and you yelp, unable to keep from smiling at him. The two of you continue reminiscing and making easy conversation while you devour your pizza dinner. By the time you’re done, the sun is setting.

You lay back on the pillows you’ve propped up and watch intently as Ash gets rid of the pizza box at a nearby trash can. You’d both agreed that the dress code for tonight was ‘comfort’ and he went with a black t-shirt and an endearingly bizarre pair of lounge pants that feature a mountain landscape illustrated across the legs. Unsurprisingly, the t-shirt hugs his chest and biceps, drawing attention to the tattoos up and down his arms that you haven’t been able to keep your hands off of. What is surprising is how the loose pants still cling to his body in all the right ways - pulling across his thick thighs and ass, making you wonder if he’s keeping things in his pockets or if the bulging in front you’re seeing is all him. You squeeze your legs together, pleased that he’s almost back at the car, eager to feel him, even if it’s just for a snugged up movie date.

He flashes you a dazzling smile as he walks up to the car. “What’s got you all dreamy-eyed?” He teases, settling in next to you. You feel your breath hitch as he comfortably rests his hand on your bare thigh, toying with the hem of your lounge shorts, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Just happy to be here,” you shrug, leaning over to peck his bearded cheek.

He hums at your affection, leaning his head on your shoulder as he fiddles with his phone, pulling up a radio app so he can tune to the station that will be broadcasting the audio for your screen. “It’s kind of a deadzone out there, there’s only maybe 5 other cars,” he reports, reaching behind you to make sure the bluetooth speaker he’s connected to is on. “Even with all the distancing, we probably didn’t need to park all the way back here.”

“I like it… Gives the illusion you rented out the place just for me, makes me feel special,” you joke. He giggles and kisses your shoulder.

The first movie of your double feature starts a few minutes later and you couldn’t possibly enjoy it more. The two of you trade jokes and snacks; it’s all just so comfortable and lovely, unfiltered and natural.

During the intermission, you decide to get out and stretch a bit before the second film starts. You notice that when you feel Ashton’s eyes poring over you as you bend and twist, you only feel pride and desire, none of the nervousness or timidity you’d felt a few weeks ago.

Once the movie starts, you sit and try to patiently wait and see if he’s going to make a move but by the time the opening credits are over, you can’t help but advance things yourself. You scoot closer but his eyes remain trained on the screen; you decide to more explicitly ask for his attention by nuzzling your face into his neck, pressing a few light kisses behind his ear, scratching his beard with your nails. “I’m having a good time,” you whisper, feeling him grin under your touch. “This was such a great idea, I’m happy you suggested it.”

He slinks his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “I’m so glad you like it,” he beams at you. “It’s fun to be out in the world again but also still pretty much alone.”

“Alone enough to do this,” you lilt, leaning in to plant your lips on his. Your kiss is gentle but urgent and he reciprocates your energy, cupping your face with one hand and using the other to press you against him, murmuring when you slide your tongue into his mouth. Just when things start to get heated, one of you pulls back and warmly smiles at the other, as if you’re both excited for more but still wanting to appreciate what’s happening in this moment.

You don’t want to disrupt the makeout but you can’t fight the craving you have to feel more of him; you’re finally able to pull yourself away and you lay down on the bed, patting the spot next to you in what you hope is an alluring manner.

He moves closer and you close your eyes, ready to feel his touch. You’re startled to instead hear a grunt of frustration and the shifting of a leather seat. Your eyes snap open and you see him straining to reach into the front seat, trying to reach the keys in the ignition. You’re half a second away from asking what the hell he’s doing when you hear a distant beep and the hatchback slowly begins to close at the end of the cabin. 

He plops himself on the pillow next to you. “Thought we could use a little more privacy,” he explains, grabbing a handful of your ass and using it to pull you closer. “Just in case someone else out there thinks the movie is as boring as we did.”

You start to giggle at his remark but your laughter is interrupted by his lips returning to yours. You both let your mouths and hands do as they please, exploring and enjoying without hesitation and without expectation. You’ve just peeled off his shirt and are sucking a mark at his collarbone when you feel his hand slip up your shirt to palm your breast. You give a light bite to his skin as his fingers pull at your nipple; he groans as you breathily tell him, “You can do it harder.”

A few dozen kisses later, his hand is sliding down your stomach and past the waistband of your shorts. You pull out of his kiss to whine quietly as his long fingers brush through your wetness, only touching your clit incidentally before adding light pressure. 

“Good?” Ashton checks with a smile as your head lulls back and you grab onto him.

“Oh, you know… ‘s alright I guess,” you joke, your attempt at being casual undermined by the way you’re basically grinding into his hand. You let out a long moan and he quickly brings his mouth back down to yours in an attempt to silence it.

As his fingers and lips drive you wild, you find your own hands reaching for his pants and you sigh into his mouth when you feel his cock hard and ready for you. You run your fingers across the straining fabric, teasing him with one hand while the other works to loosen the drawstring. 

You dip your hand inside and grip his cock, choking back a moan when you feel how much he’s already leaked for you. The slickness helps you easily begin stroking him and you shift so you can study his face, wanting to see evidence of the pleasure you’re giving him. As your thumb swipes over his tip and your fingers firmly squeeze his length, Ash’s eyes flutter shut and he bites his lip, quietly muttering your name under his breath.

His fingers slip inside you and you gasp as pumps them in and out, dragging them against your walls, teasing your spot. It’s an intense moment when your eyes lock as his fingers work inside of you while yours glide up and down his cock, the two of you breathing heavy as you basically fuck each other without fucking.

“Ash…” You start, voice wavering.

“Yeah,” he answers in strained agreement. “Do you want --”

“Yes, yes I do. I brought --”

“So did I.”

You break apart from each other and reach for your belongings, chuckling as he pulls a handful of condoms from his backpack and tosses them onto the bed at the same time you pull some from your purse and add them to the pile.

“Well it’s good to know we’re both the kind of people who can learn from their mistakes,” he laughs, pulling you into a delighted kiss. 

An exciting energy fills the car as you both shift around, getting yourselves situated. Ashton pulls back a layer of blankets from the seats in case you want to cover up and bursts out laughing when he turns around to see you’ve already stripped off your shorts and panties and are sitting there pantsless and unbothered.

“We’re parked in the back, there’s barely anyone here and the windows are fogged up,” you shrug, grinning.

You find yourself captivated as you watch him kick his pants off and get up on his knees, wrapping a hand around his cock, pumping it a few times before rolling a condom on. This is really happening. Finally, really happening.

“C’mere,” he breathes, reaching for you. You crawl to him and he cradles your face, kissing you softly. You nibble at his lip as you pull away and the two of you can’t stop smiling.

You climb into his lap, sitting on his legs, staring into his eyes. “Ready?” He asks you, sweetly rubbing your thighs. 

You nod eagerly and lift yourself up to hover over his cock. He slicks the tip through your folds, stopping to tease over your clit a few times and then he’s watching your face as he presses against your entrance. 

Your mouth drops open as you start to take him. He's so thick the stretch is instant, breathtaking and everything you've been dreaming of. His fingers gingerly brush over your hip, encouraging you as you ease him further inside you, rocking up and down until you're impossibly full.

Ash wraps his arms around you, kissing you deeply, hands in your hair then running down your back, then squeezing your ass. You feel completely surrounded by him and it’s overwhelming in the best way. You break the kiss to quickly peel your t-shirt off and then you’re reattaching your lips to his, pressing your chest against his, needing to feel as much of his skin on yours as you possibly can.

“Yes, baby, fuck” he murmurs as you slowly begin to move on his cock. “Feel so fuckin’ perfect… better than I’ve been imagining.”

You respond with a series of whimpers, so caught up in the feeling of finally having him in you. You move cautiously, almost torturously slow until you adjust to his size and then you pick up the pace, his hands firmly gripping your ass, helping you along.

You don’t even have the end goal of an orgasm in mind, you just can’t get enough of the new sensations his cock is making you feel. You shift from rocking to bouncing on him, moaning loudly each time his length hits a new place inside you.

“Ash… your cock feels so fucking good,” you pant, riding him with increasing speed, losing yourself in it. “Can’t believe you’re finally filling me up, baby… fuck.”

Your movements are bordering on frantic when you feel Ashton lightly squeeze your hips, attempting to still them, gently breathing your name. You slow down and look at him inquisitively. The mixture of amusement, desire and warmth painting his face is enough to make your pounding heart skip a beat.

“Can I?” He softly asks. You nod and he carefully pulls out of you and lays you back against the pillows before settling over you. He pecks over your neck and face as he guides himself back inside you. “Think we owe it to ourselves to slow down and live in this for a while.”

He starts to push up so he can get to work but you stop him, tucking his long hair behind his ear, stroking your hand over his beard. “You’re right, just feels so good,” you grin. “Hard not to get carried away.”

Ashton kisses over your palm and begins leisurely moving his hips. He keeps a moderate pace, steady enough that you’re feeling consistent pleasure, feeling something building in your core, but not so hurried that you’re aching to reach the finish line. You hook your leg around his hip and when he pushes it slightly back towards you, he slides in deeper and his groan blends with yours to form possibly the most gorgeous sound you’ve ever heard.

“Jesus, baby… pussy’s takin’ me so well,” he praises, voice sounding more wrecked than you expected. “Such a pretty, giving pussy, baby… what a good girl.”

You shiver at his words, your hands running up and down his back, feeling his muscles flex as he moves above you; you slide your hands down to grab his ass, pulling him closer, willing him even deeper. Ash reaches between your bodies to find your clit, teasing it with just the right amount of pressure to make you moan. The snap of his hips has become slightly quicker and you can tell by his breathing that he’s getting close.

“Ash… so good, yes,” you mumble, reaching down to direct his hand in the pattern you need. He mimics your movements expertly and you start rocking your hips along with him, feeling the stirrings of your climax. “Fuck, like that… god, please.”

“Yeah?” He pants, watching your body start to tense. He takes his free hand and reaches for yours, lacing your fingers, squeezing encouragingly. “Been waiting so long to feel you cum around my cock… come on, baby, cum.”

The first pulse of your orgasm hits you so forcefully you’re shocked he doesn’t react to how hard you squeeze his hand. By the time the next one hits, you’re crying out in senseless mutters from how heavenly this moment feels, how his thick cock couldn’t fit more perfectly inside you as you tighten around it. The sensations feel like they might echo forever as you start to come back down, Ash continuing to move gently in you, reassuring you in a soft voice about how incredible you feel around him.

You pull him down to kiss him breathlessly, satisfied from your orgasm but still hungry for his affection, still needing him on you. “Want you to cum for me, babe,” you whisper. “Let me know how much you love being buried in this pussy.”

Your words drive Ashton’s thrusts to become frenzied as he growls your name, followed by a raspy string of curses. He lets out a deep groan as he fills the condom, rocking into you deep and slow as he works through his climax. His head drops to burrow into your neck and you shiver at how his beard prickles your overstimulated skin. You stroke through his curls, lightly damp with sweat, and whisper in his ear, “So good, Ash… so fuckin’ good.”

He plants an exhausted but sweet kiss on you, only breaking it for you both to whine as he pulls out of you; he carefully ties off the condom while you reach for some of the leftover napkins from dinner to clean yourself up. You sort through each other’s clothes, the two of you grinning like fools the entire time you’re getting dressed.

Ash leans back against the pillows and sighs loudly, gesturing for you to come lay with him. You crawl toward him, making a small detour over the front seat to press the release on the hatchback again. You settle against him as the door opens, the cool night air filling the car again, the long forgotten movie still being projected in the distance.

“Worth the wait?” You tease, giving him a toothy smile.

He holds you tight to his chest. “Fuckin’ hell, baby… as much as we built it up, think we still might’ve undersold it. Like. Goddamn.”

You hum in agreement, closing your eyes, enjoying the afterglow. “I’m glad we just kind of let it happen. That’s probably the best first time I’ve ever had. Definitely the most comfortable.”

“Same. Easy but still just… perfect,” he says dreamily.

You play with his fingers, chuckling, “I was so comfortable I almost asked you to cum on me until I remembered we were fucking in your friend’s car.”

“I mean, it was already questionable for us to have gotten fully naked in his car, we might as well have gone all out,” Ashton laughs loudly, squeezing your hand. “I think Cal had a suspicion this might happen, he left breath mints, condoms and Clorox wipes in the glove compartment.” 

You cackle. “No blacklight, though?”

He pinches your leg and leans in to drown your laughter with a kiss. You gaze at him for a beat, marvelling at how normal everything feels for once. You notice he’s looking at you with a familiar fire in his eyes and you swear even though you were naked with him just a few minutes ago, you actually feel butterflies in your stomach.

You raise your eyebrows at him expectantly and Ash smirks. “Was just thinkin’ it’s for the best anyways. The first time I cover you in cum I don’t want it to be in a dark backseat, I want to be able to see it.”

You quietly groan, a naughty glint in your eye to match his. You sit up and plant a heated kiss on him, pulling away to murmur, “Well. It’s still early… my place or yours?”

————-

Thank you to everyone who signed up for my new taglist, both for the support and the lovely (occasionally hilarious) feedback! If you haven’t signed up yet, the form is linked above! (If your name is crossed out, please check your blog settings, I was unable to tag you)

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[bvannn]

Weekly update June 14 2024

I was extremely busy this week and I’m extremely tired tonight. I got a bunch of life things tidied up but didn’t do as much as I would’ve liked but still got some stuff done.

Artfight prep is the main thing, Josh’s thumbnail is done and his refsheet is also almost done, Romeo’s thumbnail is also almost done. I was going to finish it tonight but I’m very tired. Maybe after I eat and shower I might get a burst of energy and finish it up but seems unlikely. Now that I’ve figured out the trick to overcoming adobe’s shitty drawing tools I’m making good stride on animation stuff, and while the OEB video is not a high priority at all right now, I’m looking forward to how it’ll look. Fwiw the puppet I’m building for that is going pretty well as a low priority task, and building it was much faster than what it used to be so I’m pretty sure the animation itself will also go a lot quicker. Again no progress made on that this week, though.

Music: I’m learning a bunch of new mixing and sound balancing strategies and I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll have the energy to unleash them all. I’m going to re-mix OEB for sure, already redid instruments and set up instrument channels. Also hoping tomorrow will put me in enough of a music kick to finish up the other projects I’ve been sitting on. Everything I’m sitting on could use the new plugin chain, plus BMBO has lyrics done and needs a VPR, WOTW could use some VPR tweaking, RR also has finished lyrics now so I can get going on it’s instruments and VPR (and also pick out what voice to use), plus the ambient quickie could needs a melody recorded plus mixing, the pop quickie needs that too and lyrics, BATB lyrics are close to done but I keep procrastinating, the SOS medley needs some more instrument selections plus mixing, and a couple other miscellaneous songs, there’s a lot. I’m hoping I can get to bed early today and just unload on a bunch of those tomorrow, so I think I’ll try.

Other news: that AC game I’ve been on and off writing: finally sat down and started like, actual coherent notes. This is a good step because I do want to turn it into a prewritten module for other people to run. Main thing I did this week in the way of that was a proper description of the setting, to help character creation. Any of these other times I’m too tired to do anything I’ll try to pour into that, which should in turn motivate me to get visual stuff for that done too. I have done a few character tokens that haven’t been posted because again, I’d like the module to be free and any extras to be paid, rather than the whole thing being paid.

Comic: it’s going, albeit slowly. This whole week at work I tried to sketch out stuff while I was working, but for whatever reason the comic wasn’t cooperating. Probably because the poses and layouts are more dynamic than my splash art, so drawing them with a pen doesn’t really work out well. Once I import and fix the panels I did sketch, the comic will be around 24% done. I will attempt to smuggle in pencils next week, in order to get more done. Like all things considered being able to sketch while at work is definitely a help for my confidence in my projects, and I hope to continue it wherever I can.

Plan for next week is: tonight I go to bed early, tomorrow I go buckwild on music and get a bunch of stuff finished up, maybe finish up Romeo’s AF thumbnail or get the assets for someone else’s done. Sunday, I’ll try to finish up Josh’s AF ref and redo Romeo’s, and get as many assets for the other AF thumbnails done as I can. Monday at work I’ll try to sneak in a pencil, and I’ll get more comic sketching or OEB storyboards done, then Monday night I’ll continue making and/or animating those AF thumbnails. I’ll continue sketches at work where I can and animations during lunch as best I can, Tuesday night I’m introducing another friend to epithet erased, so good chance I’ll get writing for TTRPG done that night too, Wednesday night have a pathfinder game so I should be able to get some digital art done during that, more AF thumbnail assets or maybe comic work, and the rest of the week I should be able to continue sketches at work, and digital stuff in the evening. I might swap out some of that digital drawing with more music if I have the energy but at the moment seems unlikely. I’m getting stuff done, but tonight I’m taking a rest. I’ll try to post something tomorrow, worst case it’ll be a WIP, but really hoping I’ll have something good! Thanks again to everyone for being patient with me!