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flowerhrt · 2 years ago

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crave | daisy jones.

pairing: daisy jones x fem!reader

summary: daisy looks back on her life and your relationship after finally getting to marry you.

warnings: mentions of overdose, alcohol consumption, mentions of a past addiction, niccolo argento (his name deserves a warning).

a/n: daisy is a lesbian but the reader's sexuality isn't specified. i used the dates and ages from the book.

word count: 2.3k

the clock read 2:48 am when daisy finished writing her new song. most people would think she was crazy for staying up all night the day after her wedding, but she had never been this inspired before.

daisy jones got married to her wife y/n l/n on july 17, 2015. a month after same-sex marriage was legalized across the united states and the same date which marked her 36 year anniversary of being clean. her life changed on that date in 1979, and she wanted to celebrate it by getting married that exact same day and month.

she never thought this was possible. being able to get married to the love of her life, coming out to the entire world, and most importantly, still being alive at 64 years old. she didn’t think she’d ever make it past 30.

“daisy, aren’t you tired? it’s almost 3 am.” the singer looked up from her place on the couch at the sound of her wife’s voice. my wife, she smiled at the thought.

“i’m fine, my angel. i just had to finish writing this idea for a song i’ve had stuck in my head all day.” she answered. “so you were thinking about music during our ceremony? ouch.” y/n said, placing a hand on her chest, feigning hurt.

“oh, stop it!” daisy couldn’t help but giggle at her wife’s words. “you know i didn’t mean it like that. i meant that you inspired me to write a new song. i know, this isn’t news to you, but i could write an entire song about you eating a damn sandwich. you’re my favorite person to write about.”

“what? i thought that was billy dunne.” daisy laughed at the statement, not before sticking out her tongue at her. that was one of the singer’s favorite things about y/n, the fact that even though both of them were well into their sixties, they still acted like two lovesick women in their twenties.

y/n stayed quiet for a little while after that, just lovingly staring at her. the intense but loving stare made daisy feel nervous, not in a bad way, of course. it made her feel the same knot in the stomach she felt when they met for the first time. it was love. she was feeling love.

“what is it?” she asked, her face beginning to flush the way it always does whenever her wife, the most beautiful person alive, according to the redhead, looks intensely at her.

“nothing” y/n answered. “it’s just that seeing you write at 3:00 am is taking me back to all those years ago.”

daisy let out a soft sigh at the memory of their first years together. when y/n would wake up in the middle of the night to find daisy sitting on the floor, guitar in hand, scribbling new lyrics she had just come up with. it was as if she had traveled back in time, after all, both of them have been in this situation lots of times, but she swore it felt as if they were back in the 70s again.

“well, to make you even more nostalgic, the song i wrote is about that. not about me ruining your sleep schedule, but about missing those times.” she slowly strummed her guitar. “is it okay if i sing it to you?”

her wife took a seat next to the singer and placed a red lock of hair behind daisy’s ear. “it is more than okay, unless it makes me cry, because if that’s the case… then it is not.”

daisy pecked y/n’s lips and answered with a quick “no promises!” before taking a deep breath and starting to sing.

i can’t wait to memorize this day

oh, a picture could not contain the way it feels

she smiled as she sang those lyrics. it’s true, she thinks. this is probably the happiest she has ever been, she used to believe people were faking it when they said their wedding day was the best day of their lives, but it turns out they were right. maybe the reason she didn’t believe it is because her last marriage was the worst period of her life.

sure, she married an italian prince. but was she happy? fuck no. she only did it to find a way out of the hole she dug for herself during the recording of aurora. when she wanted to feel special. when she was only drawn to niccolo argento because he was drawn to her. when her addiction was taking over her life. when she didn’t know it was fine to fall in love with women.

you say, "live in the present"

i'm already dreaming of how it begins

when she was little, she always dreamed of having a big wedding with a rich, respectful man. she used to think that was the only way she’d finally get her parents to be proud of her. it took a lot of therapy and self-acceptance for her to finally let go of that dream. she decided she was going to marry for herself and the woman she loved, not her parents.

the singer was so happy she couldn’t stop crying when it was announced she could finally get legally married to her long-term girlfriend. it may have taken over 30 years, but she was finally married to the love of her life.

and trying to savor the moment

but i know the feeling will come to an end

this is a problem daisy has always dealt with, being scared of people leaving and using her. she was a teenager the first time an older man dragged her into his room and made her have sex with him, he used her and then told her to leave. it’s a pattern she grew used to. get used and then abandoned. it was a shock when she met y/n and realized she actually cared about her, about what she thought, about what she had to say, about her music.

y/n always reassured her she would never leave, even when things got rough, she always stood by her side. daisy tried to self-sabotage herself several times, always thinking about how she wasn’t worth the love she was getting, but even through all of that, her wife never abandoned her. never used her. never judged her.

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again

crave, crave, to do it again

it was difficult, it really was. being part of the biggest band in the world and being a woman dating another woman was frightening. but looking back on it now, if she knew all that fear would turn into happiness and she’d end up marrying y/n, she would do it all over again.

just for a second it all felt simple

i'm already missing it

despite all of the fear, a part of her enjoyed the simplicity of their first years together. when they would meet up in hidden places to make out or when they would book hotel rooms adjacent to each other, just to end up sneaking in the middle of the night into the other’s room and sharing a bed. she misses the adrenaline of keeping their relationship a secret, of always having to come up with an excuse during interviews as to why she isn’t dating any famous man.

daisy couldn’t give less of shit about them. the thought of dating a man made her skin crawl. plus, she was dating the most perfect woman alive, how could they think she’d ever look at someone else?

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again.

daisy almost stopped singing at the sight of her wife in front of her. the singer could tell she was trying to fight back tears, she was about to put her guitar down but she knew y/n would get mad at her for stopping. she always tells her to “never stop singing, not even when you see me crying and being a mess. because i’ll cry more if you stop doing what you love.”

so she continued.

i romanticize even the worst of times

when all it took to make me cry was being alive

daisy hit rock bottom a year before meeting y/n. her life was a mess, her addiction kept getting worse, her ex-husband was a fucking douchebag who didn’t care if she overdosed while on tour, her parents didn’t give her a single thought, and she was trying to understand why she didn’t feel anything towards men but kept wanting the same type of relationship simone had with her girlfriend.

she wouldn’t go a day without crying or downing an entire bottle of alcohol. it was the worst time of her life, but for some reason she looks back on it fondly. her years of therapy, meditation and healing helped her realize she wouldn’t have the life she currently has if she hadn’t survived those times.

look up and see a reflection

of someone who never gave way to the pain

daisy looked around their house as she sang those lyrics. their home. it has some plants sitting in the living room, a few framed photos of the band, of her and simone, and of her and y/n placed around the walls. they made sure to leave some space for their wedding photos. she still couldn’t believe it. she lives in a beautiful home with her wife, and the world supports them. they don’t hate them or are repulsed by the thought of them being gay.

after all, the world could never hate daisy jones.

what if i told 'em that now that i'm older

there isn't a moment that i'd wanna change?

she thought she was going to break down crying halfway through their wedding ceremony. it’s fucking crazy how far life got her, she went from hiding her sexuality to inviting all of her friends to see them get married. the years have passed and they’re all old now, but the six and simone are still her best friends, seeing all of them together, celebrating their love, made her feel like the luckiest person alive.

now i crave, crave to do it again, all again

crave, crave to do it again

just for a second it, all felt simple

i'm already missing it

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again

y/n l/n and daisy jones came out in 1997. it was all over the news, they revealed they’ve been dating since 1977, making it 20 years of keeping their relationship a secret. the only ones who knew about it were their close friends and some of y/n’s family members. the couple were rumoured to just be best friends who live together, but the two of them got tired of having to hide from the world.

any second, feel the present

future and the past connecting

any second, feel the present

future and the past connecting

daisy closed her eyes as she remembered the day she first met her wife. it was 1977 and she was at simone’s after-show party, she had just recently come out as a lesbian to her best friend, and simone thought it would be nice to have her meet some new people. both her and y/n were closeted during that time, but that didn’t mean y/n wasn’t dating anyone previously. daisy noticed her from afar and thought she was the most breathtaking woman she had ever seen, something she still thinks to this day, and decided to walk up to her. she didn’t know if she was gay too, so she made sure to only make small talk with the girl.

they were talking about their favorite records when a random girl daisy had never seen before pulled y/n towards her. she saw them having an argument and how the girl kept touching y/n’s arm, something that would make y/n turn her head to see if anyone had noticed. they had a heated conversation until the girl decided to storm out and leave y/n alone.

when she got back to daisy and anxiously said “i know you saw us, it’s not what you think.” daisy made sure to make her feel better by saying “all i think is that you’re way too cool for that chick.. and i know a thing or two about not being with the right girl.”

in that moment, a small understanding passed between them. they only gave each other a small smile before continuing their conversation about music.

crave, crave to do it again, all again

crave, crave to do it again,

just for a second, it all felt simple

i'm already missing it

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again

daisy finished singing and rapidly put her guitar down to be able to give her wife a hug. she loved her so much, she was so thankful for her existence and life together. sometimes she still wonders what would’ve happened if she had never gone up to her that night in 1977.

daisy broke the hug and looked into her eyes. “i would tell you i love you so much” y/n started

“but…” daisy interrupted.

“but you made me cry and that’s not fair.” her wife continued. the singer playfully rolled her eyes at the sentence. “i did tell you i didn’t promise anything.” she argued.

“but fine, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?” daisy asked. y/n hummed and acted as if she was in deep thought before saying “a kiss from my wife would make anything better.”

daisy answered with a “who am i to say no to my favorite girl?”

and kissed her wife.

#daisy jones x reader #daisy jones imagine #daisy jones and the six x reader #daisy jones fluff #daisy jones angst #lesbian x reader #daisy jones #daisy jones and the six imagine

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thislovintime · 9 months ago

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Photo 2 by Henry Diltz (?), photo 3 by Gene Trindl.

“[Peter] encouraged me no end. Bought me my first guitar and my first drum kit.” - Davy Jones, They Made A Monkee Out Of Me (1988)

“I was at a distinct disadvantage because I was attempting to play an unfamiliar instrument, but I gave it my best shot. Even on the set of that pilot we fired up the instruments between takes and jammed on some rock & roll tune or other. I must have been terrible. But everyone, especially Peter, was very supportive.” - Micky Dolenz, I’m A Believe: My Life of Monkees, Music, and Madness (1993)

“I have a great deal of respect for Mike as a musician and a songwriter. He’s very good. He could make it on his own easily. Also he’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.” - Peter Tork, Flip, August 1967 (x)

“[N]o one of us really supported any of the others except that, that I like to think that I tried to support Micky in a way which, for some reason, he never did pick up on. I mean, I think that Micky has a certain kind of genius that he was never able to acknowledge in himself.” - Peter Tork, Headquarters radio, September 1989

“I’ve always thought that Micky was far more creative than he ever gave himself credit for. He’s a vastly more talented individual than he’s aware of.” - Peter Tork, Headquarters 1995 liner notes (x)

“Well, Davy’s always been a man of great talent and heart and I had just been hoping to work with him some more. He had such talent. He was probably the most talented of us all. He certainly had the best pitch and the best time. He should probably have been the drummer or the bass player of something. He should have been in the rhythm section. It’s kind of amazing – the two guys with the best time in the band weren’t in the rhythm section [laughs]. That was a little weird, looking back. And he was so able – there was just nothing he couldn’t do. I remember once in the middle of a tour, we said, ‘Well, we want to do this song, and we want to do it this way. But we’re missing a bass player. Davy, here’s a bass. Put your fingers here and pluck this string there.’ Next thing you knew, he was playing bass on stage like that night or two nights later or something. It was nothing major – he wasn’t popping strings and doing runs and fills, but he was laying down a bass and it was solid – it was solid. And that kind of ability is, I think, what I’m going to miss … what I’m sorriest to see go.” - Peter Tork, LeHigh Valley Live, June 2012 (x)

#Peter Tork #Tork quotes #Davy Jones #Micky Dolenz #Michael Nesmith #Peter and Davy #Peter and Micky #Peter and Michael #The Monkees #Monkees #long read #can you queue it

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thomasberglund9 · 3 months ago

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Two guitar lines to the jazz standard ”Have you met miss Jones”.

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► "Have you met miss Jones - Tips on phrasing"

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#jazz guitar #guitar lesson #jazz guitar licks #guitar licks #jazz lesson #jazz lick #guitar teacher #jazz teacher #jazz standard

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cainache · 2 years ago

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thinking of if the pogues were a band, what role do you think they’d have within the band or what would they play? ily soph <3

lia, baby! hi, honey! i love you!

[ 🎧 ]

ok, so i love this ask and i feel like they could be like a modern day daisy jones and the six? like they aren’t famous - famous yet. they’re just playing gigs at boneyard parties or for like weddings or even maybe gigs at the country club. it’s small things that build up as time passes.

i feel like the band starts with john b and jj, obviously. like it’s something they use to talk about as kids and would do silly performances with air guitars for big john, when he was still around.

but as they got older, maybe john b got into music in high school? i think it would definitely be “his band”. he’d be the main guitarist, writing songs at first. i feel like he could sing somewhat good, as well.

jj is on drums, no doubt about it. he’s good at it too. i feel like when jj finds something he knows he might be good at, he’ll really put the work in. plus i think being on drums is kind of like a relief of emotions for him. he plays with passion and aggression, depending what the songs are. the people love it.

the two boys definitely rope pope in. they have too. they’re a trio. i also feel like pope is good with his fingers. lol. he’d be the bass guitarist. he’d help out with a lot of the writing too, his brains and all that.

kiara is on the piano. it suits her, to me at least. keyboardist and vocalist. she just gets into it and really mellows the boys down when it’s needed.

the four of them are good together, but they all seem to know something is missing.

john b meets sarah at a gig at the country club. she loves their music and the way they play. the two hit it off, because sarah’s a sweetheart. pope thinks she could be good for him (and the band, eventually). jj doesn’t really care, he just doesn’t want john b distracted—if it comes down to it. kiara obviously isn’t on good terms with sarah, because of what happened with them during school.

sarah comes around a lot after that. she’ll be there when john b is coming up with lyric ideas. and when he’s figuring it out on the guitar, she’ll over look his lyrics and hum them how she thinks they’d go. she helps him out with a few songs. it’s sweet.

a few months into them actually being together, he realizes she can sing—and good. he’s out on the porch with jj, they’re smoking and working on something new. they’re staring down at lyrics that don’t seem to be clicking when they hear it. jj hears it first, john b too in tune with the crinkled papers of messy words.

sarah has a beautiful voice and she’s the final puzzle piece to the band. (her and kie are good!)

they start to make it bigger when sarah comes in. her name definitely helps out. and her father’s money.

and when they do make it big, i think it gets crazy from there. you know how jj is with drinking and stuff, he’s definitely into drugs and hooking up with one too many girls. they all love him, he’s like the “sex appeal”. he loves it. sarah and john b are perfect (no cheating here, lord). kie’s with this really shy and cute timid girl they met at a gig a few months ago—she’s been traveling with them ever since. she helps with photography and promotion for the band. as for pope, he’s definitely more reserved. he drinks a beer or two here and there, stays way from drugs, and makes sure everyone is at sound check when they need to be. girls definitely like him, he’s good and cute and in a band, hello? he’s definitely hooked up with a few, but nothing ever sticks and he doesn’t go crazy like jj does.

(you don’t have to read this if you aren’t for jjpope)

and maybe this is me being me, but i feel like pope is waiting for jj. like it eventually happens at some point. there’s a lot of tension between the two and teasing. no one ever comments on it. (there’s a few questions about it in interviews or from fans. pope never knows how to react, but jj always has it covered.) sarah definitely talks to pope about it, like when he’s freaking about jj and everything—he goes to sarah. (pope and sarah definitely have an amazing bond.)

jj eventually stops being blind. it’s him and pope. people love it. it’s sweet and feels right.

anywho! i definitely got too in depth with this? maybe? who knows. but, god, i loved this ask and it was very fun to envision them as a band <3

#outer banks #outer banks au #outer banks band au #john b routledge #jj maybank #sarah cameron #pope heyward #kiara carrera #band au #outer banks imagine #outer banks blurb #fanfiction #jjpope #sarah and john b #jj and pope #lesbian!kiara carrera #soph’s place

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angstyandromanticwriting · 11 months ago

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‘Louisiana Rose’ (an OC) X Fem!Reader Cute, Angsty and somewhat Fluffy Prompt

• Louisiana Rose’s face-claim is Margot Robbie’s role in Babylon - Nellie Laroy

• Inspired partly by Daisy Jones & the Six + there will be further parts following on from the official end of this one

!TW: Hint of jealousy + anxiety + separation anxiety, doubt + hint of self-doubt, mention of there being disagreement in terms of characters being in a same-sex relationship, implied suffering from depression, self-put down(s), mention of previously being insulted and treated poorly, drugs (ecstasy) + drug-taking, mention of overdosing + the possibility of overdosing, mention of previously trying to commit suicide, being unconscious, swearing, overdosing + implied previous overdosing experiences, mention of throwing up, mild hickey giving, suicidal attempts + intentions + consideration, wanting to die, mention of having nightmares, presence of cigarettes + smoking, mention of blood, mention of alcohol + gun + attempted murder - If I’ve missed any let me know ❤️!

“What do you think you’re doing, storming off like that just before we finished the first half of the set?” Rose questioned, and you would grunt, before turning to face her, and leaning your bass guitar against the wall beside one of the chairs; you’d thought that she might already know why you would have caused such a scene like you had, less than a minute ago, now. “You’re gonna make them hate us-”

“I don’t care if they hate us,” you uttered, “how do you think I feel, having to watch you and Joel getting all like-.. I don’t know.. so - close, l-like we used to be? You don’t even look at me whilst we’re on stage together, anymore. It’s - It’s like you just-.. don’t-.. feel anything for me, anymore, o-or like you’re ashamed of us, because of what everyone else thinks o-or says..”

Rose would be surprised; she didn’t think you’d ever felt that way, before, and couldn’t believe you thought she could ever feel ashamed of your and her secret relationship, behind the band’s, and the media’s backs - at this time, it wasn’t exactly widely accepted to be in a same-sex relationship, like you both were with each other. “But I’m not ashamed of us,” she contradicted, before attempting to hold both of your trembling hands in her’s, but you would hesitantly move away, before she could, not sure what to think, anymore; you were sick of having to try and hide how you felt for her, all the time, especially when you both didn’t exactly get that much time together alone, and away from the others, “Y/n, I told you-”

“I know,” you murmured, whilst beginning to feel guilty for moving away like you had, upon noticing the hurt look on her face as a result of you previously doing so, “you’re just - trying to keep the band going, I get it, it just-.. hurts sometimes, I guess, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have stormed off like that..”

“N-No, don’t apologise,” she replied, and you would then let her ease you into a hug, prompting you to return it, though you felt as if you didn’t even deserve to touch her anymore; she was everything better than you could ever be, and you believed she deserved better than a supposed nobody like you, “I should be the one apologising to you-”

“Don’t,” you whined, before burying your face into the crook of her neck, “you did nothing wrong, I’m - I’m just being stupid.”

“Nothing that you do is stupid,” she claimed, wishing you’d stop putting yourself down like that all the time, but you knew you never would, whenever you were reminded of how, and made to feel as if you weren’t normal - a freak, even, sometimes, to those, other than Rose, who had known you, before, “don’t - don’t ever say stuff like that about yourself, because none of it is true - you’re perfect, Y/n, and honestly the most amazing and smartest person that I’ve ever met.”

“You-.. really think so?” You mused, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and she would nod quickly, certain of herself, and you would find yourself melting further into her embrace, whilst subconsciously clinging to her red dress, and she would manage a weak smile, though she still felt guilty over how she was having to hide how she felt for you from the others, and having to seem as if she were closer to Joel than she was, to you, and Suki, the band’s guitarist.

“I know so,” she added, “and don’t ever worry about me and Joel, because I’m never gonna let anything separate us, ever - it’s just an act, and that’s all it ever will be, I promise; I love you, Y/n, n-never forget that, and I always will, no matter what.”

“I always will, too,” you returned, before connecting your forehead to her’s subconsciously, whilst you both began to cling to one another again, as if you were on the verge of losing each other, somehow, and were terrified that you might.

You would both then falter, hearing footsteps approaching, before she pulled away, resulting in you both feeling empty, again, but she didn’t want you to get into trouble, or the band to split up, somehow, if the others found out about you both. “You gonna go back out there, or what?” Rod - the band’s manager - inquired, and Rose would begrudgingly nod, before he walked out again, and she would smile sadly over at you, prompting you to return the smile, before you shyly held both of her hands in your’s.

“I wish we’d have more time,” you expressed, and Rose would nod gravely, a pained expression on her face, before she eased you closer to her to embrace you again, and you would do the same, when you felt able, whilst finding small tears beginning to invade the corners of your vision; you just wished things didn’t have to be so different like they were for you both, and other people like you, and her,

“We will, at some point,” she replied, “I’m sure we will, especially whilst we’re travelling around the place, and finding more hotels to stay at. We’ll get to have the crazy nights we used to, I promise we will, a-and the others won’t ever find out about them, so we’ll be fine to try and spend more time together, without them suspecting us, at all.”

“I hope so,” you corroborated, “I - I guess we should..”

“Y-Yeah,” she agreed, before reluctantly releasing you from her hold, and you would begin to feel empty again, especially when you knew you’d have to try and hide your feelings for her again, and have to watch her and Joel being all playful and close together, like how she’d been with you, before you’d both begun to start secretly going out with one another, “let’s-.. let’s go, before the others start wondering where we are.”

“S-See you there,” you replied, and she would smile warmly back at you, before dragging herself back out onto the stage, prompting the audience to cheer, and some of them to whistle, whilst Joel began to subconsciously watch almost every single one of her moves, but you would try to ignore it, remembering what she’d told you, before, and forcing a smile, before you picked up your bass guitar again, and forced yourself to stride out confidently, and Rose couldn’t help, but smile lovingly over at you, her eyes glinting whilst she did, and you would return the smile, whilst your heart began to race again, and Joel would skeptically look between you both, before he began to play the opening melody of the most recent song the band had decided to release: ‘All I want’, and you found you couldn’t help, but occasionally watch Rose and Joel together again, and noticed the way they sometimes looked at each other, prompting you to begin to worry again, even after she’d told you that he meant nothing to her, but you would try and stop overthinking it, forcing yourself, instead, to focus on your bass part alongside them, and they wouldn’t notice you’d almost messed up the timing, whilst doing so, as you were focussed solely on them, and the ache you were beginning to feel in your chest again.

🜚

After the concert, you had both decided to celebrate by crushing up some Ecstasy pills into powder which you both took turns to take together, whilst giggling at each other’s attempts to do so, before you both found yourselves dancing to nothing in particular, and then curled up in bed together comfortably in one another’s hold. “Hey,” Rose spoke up, after you’d both finally managed to catch your breath, and to curb your fits of laughter, “I - I just wanted to say, because-.. I know I don’t say this enough, but - I love you,” she expressed, and your eyes would begin to glint and widen a little, whilst your heart began to race, and your brain began to plague you with thoughts of why she was so good to you, all the time, when you believed she shouldn’t be, “remember that.”

“That’s good,” you replied, before shuffling even closer to her so you could wrap your arms around her waist, “b-because.. I love you, too, and I always will, I promise.” She would then smile lovingly over at you, before she began to lean forward to connect her lips to your’s again delicately, but the kiss soon began to deepen again, and you would both giggle when she made a clumsy attempt to straddle you beneath her once more whilst she kissed you lovingly, as well as passionately.

🜸🜚🜸

Although she’d promised you that there was nothing going on between her and Joel, you still found yourself anxious about them, especially whenever you noticed that they were getting even closer together. One time, whilst you were performing one of the songs you had proposed - ‘Anti Everything’ - a song about doubt and being in love with someone who the singer believed could never feel the same way for them (you’d obviously written it about you and Rose), you often found yourself looking over in Rose’s direction to find that she was partially singing it to both Joel and the audience, and you wouldn’t know what to do, feeling empty all of a sudden. Before the media had started becoming suspicious of you both, it was you that she often sang the song to, and she’d never have even glanced in Joel’s direction, before then, and you scowled upon remembering that it was all the press’ fault for what was going on; for you gradually and even more excruciatingly beginning to lose Rose, because it felt like you were, and it was painful. You would falter - especially - after Rose had finished singing alongside his keyboard melodies, when you noticed him smirking up at her, and her then leaning down to kiss him, but she - unbeknownst to you - hated every second of it, but she knew she’d have to try and distract the press from their suspected secret relationship accusations in terms of how you both used to publicly act together, before, whilst you found you could no longer play anymore; your heart had begun to ache excruciatingly, as if it were breaking, and you suddenly felt numb all of a sudden, as if you’d lost everything, in that moment. You hadn’t even noticed the tears in your eyes, until they began to slowly slide down your cheeks tauntingly. “Guess you can start calling us the star-crossed lovers, now,” Rose remarked to the audience, trying not to look over at you, though she desperately wanted to try and lock eyes with you, and try to reassure you that she didn’t feel anything for him again; that she never could, and would always only ever love you, no matter what. You would then nod gravely, before finding yourself downing your bass guitar gingerly, before you stormed off of the stage again; you couldn’t take it anymore, and hated yourself for who you were because you found you could only blame yourself, and who you were, evidently assuming that she must have just been bored of you, now, and looking for someone better than you.

Whilst you found yourself having these thoughts, you began to crush up more of the ecstasy which had been left behind, before you took the lot, not caring what it meant for you, or if you’d overdose, somehow, after consuming more of it than you usually would whenever you and Rose were having it, together.

After you’d stormed off of the stage again, Rose found herself struggling to think about anything, but you, and began to feel even worse for what had happened, whilst wishing she’d never kissed him, like that, but she wasn’t sure how else she should act to try and get the press off of your and her back. “Hey,” Suki spoke up quietly, and Rose would look over at her, after finding herself staring after the direction you’d gone in for a moment longer, and silently longing - begging, for you to come back, “want me to go and check on her?”

“She’ll..” Rose would hesitate, not sure if she should be so quick to dismiss, after she’d reminded herself of the time you’d tried to take your life quite gruesomely, a little while ago, before you’d both arrived back at your hometown, but she was also worried about what the press might say, if Suki went after you to check on you, “she’ll be fine - I’m sure.”

“It’s all those damn things she’s on,” Joel remarked, and Rose would subconsciously grimace, “she’s been an addict since day one-”

“She’s not an addict,” Rose contradicted, before moving away from him and forcing a smile over at the audience, and the group would awkwardly perform the last song - ‘Human Nature’ - one you’d both written together after you’d started seeing each other without the others knowing, detailing how you’d both been given hope by meeting each other, and about how you were both afraid of what might happen if you lost one another, somehow, when you felt as if you couldn’t live without one another. After she’d announced the song as brightly as she could, she looked back at the others, begrudgingly nodding, and thinking to herself: ‘this is for you, Y/n’, before the song began, and she hoped you could hear it, but you were already too drugged up to notice anything around you, and would soon fall unconscious, just as they began to play the song.

🜚

After the others had gone to bed, and she’d had to come up with an excuse as to why she couldn’t join Joel in his, she snuck out of her room, and rushed down the hall to your’s, before gently knocking on the door, but it wouldn’t open, and she couldn’t hear anything on the other side, prompting her to begin to panic, before she knocked again, more desperately this time, but the door still wouldn’t open, and she still couldn’t hear anything. “Shit,” Rose whispered, whilst she began to assume the worst, before looking around, not sure what to do for a moment, until she remembered you’d given her the spare key not too long ago, and she would rush back to her room to retrieve it, before attempting to open your door, and just as she was about to give up and find someone to open the door for her, it unlocked, and she would hastily open it, and falter as soon as she saw you curled up in the corner of the room, looking as if you weren’t breathing, and appeared quite limp. “No-!” She cried, whilst her heart felt as if it were sinking, before she rushed over to you and let herself fall to her knees beside you so she could cradle you close to her, fighting back tears whilst she did. “Y/n, please,” she begged shakily, but you wouldn’t react, at all, terrifying her, as well as making her feel numb all of a sudden, as if she had nothing left within her anymore, “t-talk to me, just say something, anything!”

You would then gradually begin to stir in her arms, but were evidently disoriented, after you’d had a vivid and painful vision of the possibility that you might lose her; a vision of her telling you she didn’t want you anymore, like you’d been terrified that she would. “Rose,” you mustered feebly, whilst tears began to cloud your vision, and would soon manage to escape your eyes, before slowly running down your cheeks, but she would delicately brush them away with her right thumb, whilst her right hand was rested upon your cheek affectionately, “you’re here..”

“Of course I am,” she cooed, “where else would I be, if not by your side?”

You would scoff, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst she did; she knew you must be thinking about her and Joel again. “By Joel’s?” You answered, and she would shake her head, a hurt look on her face whilst she did; she couldn’t believe you thought she’d choose his side, over your’s, especially whilst you were in the state you currently were in. “Did you really mean that, Rosanna?” You continued, and she would tilt her head partially, a puzzled expression on her face, whilst her eyes conveyed only the love and concern she was currently holding for you. “You don’t love me?” You clarified, and she would realise, before shaking her head quickly, wondering where you’d gotten that idea. “Then why did you ignore me, back there?” You questioned, and Rose would frown again, whilst beginning to feel guilty for not even looking over at you, or going after you after you’d stormed off of the stage again, especially when she knew, now, that she would have been able to stop you from almost overdosing on her again, and that she could have lost you, if she hadn’t found you.

“Y/n-”

“You just-..” You continued dejectedly, whilst you recalled how she had kissed him the way she had, and hadn’t even glanced over at you at all for the entirety of the gig. “You threw me away, like I was just some - some piece of - discardable trash,” you murmured, and she would nod gravely, before looking away from you, and finding herself fighting back tears again, alongside you; she hated herself for hurting you the way she had been, recently, but you found you couldn’t blame her for supposedly not wanting you anymore, when you believed yourself to be nothing, compared to her, and started to believe, again, that she deserved better than you - so much better than you, breaking your heart all over again, and her’s, unbeknownst to you, but she would try to hide it from you, not wanting to upset you any further by managing to keep up her usual stable composure.

“You don’t understand, Y/n,” she whined, “I had to; I had no choice-”

“Bullshit,” you strained out, “we do have choices, Rose; we could go on with our lives like the press doesn’t influence them in whatever shape or form, a-and we could be happy, together, or you could give up on us completely, and - I don’t know about you, but - I can’t think of anything else I’d be, but miserable, if I ever lost you, a-and I don’t want that, but-.. I guess.. if you don’t want me anymore..”

“Stop,” she managed shakily, before leaning down a little so her lips were inches from your’s, and forehead was affectionately connected to your’s; she just wanted a way to try and make you happy again, and a way to prove to you that you would never lose her to Joel, “Y/n, there will never be a time where I wake up, and think that I don’t want to be by your side anymore, nor will I ever think that I’d rather be on Joel’s, b-because I love you, more than anything, and I always will, I promise, no matter what the press throws at us, next.”

You couldn’t hold it back anymore as you began to cry, and she would delicately connect her lips to your’s, whilst stroking your hair with her still shaky right hand to try and provide as much comfort to you as she could. “I love you so much,” you expressed in a shaky whisper, and she would smile lovingly down at you, prompting your heart to begin to somehow race even faster, “p-promise me you’ll never leave me - I’ll try and get better for you, I swear, I - I just - I need a little time to try-”

“Take as much time as you need,” she cooed, “just-.. Make sure I don’t lose you, either, because I promise you’ll never lose me.”

You would then manage to lift your right hand up to her left cheek, and she would subconsciously melt into your touch. “You-.. You won’t lose me, either, I promise,” you tried to reassure her, “I won’t take as much anymore, I know I can do that..”

“Good,” she corroborated, and you would start leaning heavily against her, evidently exhausted, and she would smile sadly down at you, “wanna cuddle up in bed with me?”

“I’d - I’d love to,” you answered, and she would beam down at you, before carefully picking you up off of the ground, and carrying you into your bedroom so you could both cuddle up together, and try and fall asleep in one another’s hold whilst fighting off the cold, but you found you wouldn’t be able to get any sleep until at least five in the morning; you’d spent most of the night violently shaking in her arms, or throwing up, but Rose surprisingly didn’t mind, happy to just be by your side, and trying to make sure that you were okay, and - eventually - were asleep, at which point she would hesitantly try and go to sleep, herself, though she didn’t want to, just in case you were to wake up again and need her to help you into the bathroom again, or need her to provide comfort to you, and she would manage to drift into a staggered sleep, before morning came much too soon, and you would both have to act as if you didn’t feel anything whatsoever for each other again.

🜸🜚🜸

“You’re up early,” you remarked brightly, after you’d entered the special room the hotel had set up for the group, and Rose would seem to light up as soon as she’d noticed you, before she got up to throw her arms around you, and you would return the hug, whilst smiling into the crook of her neck, “and - and look-.. amazing, like you always do - I just wish we could be alone for longer, s-so we could.. y-y’know.”

She would appear flustered, for a moment, and subconsciously roll her eyes a little when she felt you delicately nibbling at the left side of her neck, but she would then remember that the others could walk in on you both at any moment, and she would begin to panic, the thought prompting her to hold you at arm’s length after you’d managed to leave a small, but barely visible mark on her neck, and you would frown, worried that you had maybe hurt her, since her action had been so sudden. “Someone might come in, and see us, Y/n-”

You would appear disappointed once you realised why she had moved you away, and would quickly shake your head, whilst silently wishing things could be different for you both; that people would stop seeing same-sex couples to be strange, and freakish, like they did at the time. “I don’t care if they see us,” you whined, “it’s not like there’s anything wrong with us being in love with each other-”

“I know,” she cooed, “it’s just-” You would timidly inch closer, and she would have to move away from you, this time, prompting you to falter, and your heart to sink again. “Stop, we - we just can’t, right now, okay? Is that any better? Just.. Just wait until.. later,” she added hastily, not wanting you to worry that she didn’t love you anymore, like you sometimes did, especially when you were using, like you evidently had been, before getting out of bed.

“But you’ll probably be with Joel later-”

“I hope she will.” You would both falter when you heard Joel’s voice behind you, and you would subconsciously grimace, before moving aside so he could try and steal her from you, and she would hesitantly let him kiss her, though she hated how it felt, and was worried it might upset you again if you saw, which you most definitely did, and began to feel numb and empty all over again, and tried to think of something you could say to try and escape the room, and escape having to watch them, and feeling your heart breaking again, like it always did - you found - whenever you saw them together. “Sorry, bassy, did I maybe walk in on somethin’?” Joel inquired, before smirking over at you, and you would have to fight back a scowl, before bowing your head again, and appearing both agitated and crestfallen, at the same time, and Rose would frown when she noticed; she hated seeing you upset, like you evidently were, and would vow to try and make it up to you, later.

“Only a conversation you decided to rudely interrupt,” you uttered, before subconsciously locking eyes with Rose, and finding you couldn’t speak for a moment as you began to stammer, and Rose would smile encouragingly over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before you smiled back, and managed to continue, after you’d brought yourself to pry your gaze from her’s, no matter how much you wanted only to get lost in her eyes, “I’m gonna - go and wake Rod and the others up, don’t - don’t want ‘em being late for practice, do we?”

Joel would snort, prompting Rose to sneakily shoot a glare over at him. “Since when did you start caring about attendance?” He questioned, and you would grunt, before doing the middle finger over at him, and walking out, after muttering a quiet ‘fuck off, Joel’, under your breath, prompting Rose to have to fight back a giggle, evidently amused by how you’d reacted to his remark.

🜸🜚🜸

It wasn’t long, before you both found yourselves fighting, however, after you’d heard from Joel that she’d presumably slept with him, which she hadn’t; he’d been suspecting that you had feelings for her, recently, and wanted to try and steer you away from her, as he was worried about what you might do to try and take her from him, as he didn’t know that you both had already been seeing each other behind his, and the backs of the others and the press, until you both had an even more explosive fight, leading to her deciding not to come and see you whilst the others were asleep anymore, and she even began to ignore you not just on stage, but off of it now, too, resulting in you feeling awful for fighting with her like you had been recently, and beginning to hate yourself even more, but you didn’t blame her for not wanting to see you, or speak to you, anymore, and once you began to notice her sneaking off with Joel more, you found yourself beginning to use a lot more, but no matter how much you took, you found you couldn’t ease the pain, especially when you both still saw each other everyday, and you felt as if you’d lost everything, like how you felt before she had found you, and invited you to join her band, even offering for you to stay with her at her house as you had previously been homeless, with only your bass guitar to keep you company on the dark nights you had found yourself spending, with every cold day that had past without her being by your side.

Every night which followed now, you spent crying, and shaking violently in your bed, after taking more than you should have, as usual, after you’d found yourself looking through the book of photographs you’d put together of you and Rose, until now. You probably would have added more, if it weren’t for the fact that you had somehow managed to lose her again, even though you’d truly thought you would both be together forever; that you existed only by her side, and you weren’t sure what to do anymore, now that you found yourself without her again - it was excruciating, thinking about how she was probably with Joel, when really, unbeknownst to you, she was trying to avoid him, too, after she’d found out that he had told you that she had slept with him, when she’d never even thought about doing such a thing to you, and could never - she was sure - ever even consider doing that, to you, even now, after the fight to have torn you both apart had occurred; she still loved you too much to, and began to wish, now, that she’d never walked out on you like that, and never begun ignoring you and avoiding you as if you didn’t exist, again, like she used to, whenever you were both on the stage together, before, after the press had begun to point out how unusually close you both seemed to be, before, whilst performing together.

On one of the occasions in which she’d found herself trying to avoid Joel and the others after yet another painful performance, she would be surprised to come across you sank down on the ground outside, and she would falter, noticing that you seemed to be disorientated again, whilst crying quietly, and she - when she felt able - would warily approach you, before crouching down beside you, and lifting her right hand to delicately turn your head so she could see your face, and you would subconsciously melt into the warmth of her touch, whilst squinting, and forcing the remaining tears out so you could try and make out who it was, as your vision was currently blurry, and you couldn’t see her face. “I’m-.. I’m okay,” you managed in a shaky slur, and Rose would scoff, before shaking her head, and grimacing; she wished you’d stop lying to her, like you had just done, again; you were evidently far from okay, and she found it painful; she hated seeing you like this, and felt worse whenever she was reminded of her belief that she had been the one to make you like this again, by not stopping the fight, and beginning to ignore and avoid you like she had, recently, after you’d both fought over what Joel had told you.

“Bullshit,” she remarked, and you would fall quiet, upon recognising her voice, and your vision would then begin to clear, surprising you; you couldn’t believe she was wasting her time on you again, when you thought she’d be with Joel, or should be with him, instead, as you believed you would only make things worse if it was still you who she was with, “look at yourself, Y/n, you’re far from okay.”

You would nod gravely, before looking away from her, and she would then timidly intertwine the fingers of her left hand with the pale, and slightly trembling fingers of your right, and you would falter, before glancing down at your and her hand, but you would try not to get your hopes up, guessing she was just doing it to try and make you feel better, but you felt as if things could never be good again, like they used to be, and this thought prompted more tears to cloud your vision, and made you wish the drugs would just end you, like you’d been hoping they would for a while, now. “That sounds-.. s-sounds completely accurate,” you corroborated dejectedly, “I’ve not been.. okay.. for a while now..”

She would nod gravely, before lowering her gaze down to the ground; she didn’t want you to see that she was trying not to cry alongside you, too, as she knew it would only upset you more, if she did. “How much did you take, this time?” She inquired, and you would shrug, not even sure anymore, as you evidently no longer cared how much you took; you just wished it would be, every day you crushed up the pills, and took them, the last day you would have to spend in excruciating pain, but no such luck, so far, evidently, as you were still sadly alive, and having to go on enduring it for too much longer. “Maybe I could call someone for you-”

“No,” you murmured, “I.. it’s not the drugs which are the problem, Rose.. it’s just.. I..” You would then sigh heavily, before bowing your head again, and feeling as if you should just give up, already; you doubted she could ever feel the same way for you, anymore, after the fight, and after she’d been presumably getting even closer to Joel, recently, and it was silently tearing you apart inside; a feeling you were somehow still not used to, even after you’d experienced it before you and Rose had first met. “Forget about it,” you murmured, but she would quickly shake her head, wanting to know what it was that was making you like this, though she already knew; she just wanted to hear you say it, and to tell you that she felt the same way, before requesting, or rather begging for you to forgive her, as she was sick of seeing you hurt, like you evidently had been since the fight you’d both had, and ever since you had both lost one another, though you both still loved each other more deeply than either of you could take, and this fact was making the pain even more excruciating than it would be, if you didn’t.

“I can’t, now,” she replied, “tell me; I wanna help you, Y/n.”

You would snort, before shaking your head. “That’s the thing - You can’t help me,” you claimed, “I’m too far gone-”

“You don’t know that-”

“I do,” you insisted, and Rose was trying to hide that she was beginning to panic, badly, “d’you remember how - when we were together, I had a book of all the pictures we’d taken, and how we used to take at least one photo on each date that we went on?”

She would nod, and found that she couldn’t help, but smile softly, upon remembering it, and how she loved to watch it fill up, whilst you both were still together. “Of course I remember,” she answered, “w-why?”

“I think Joel took it,” you stated, “it’s not in any of the usual spaces I’d hide it in, before, a-and it’s petrifying me - not just because of what he could do with it, but because-.. it’s.. the only thing right now which.. seemed to have been bringing me closer to you again, and seemed to have sometimes made me feel better, because of the memories we made together, before, but then when I remember we won’t be able to make any more, I.. lose all control all over again..”

Rose then couldn’t hold it back anymore as she began to cry, and then ease you closer to her so she could hug you tightly, and you would quickly melt into her embrace, whilst beginning to cry within it, alongside her. “I’m so sorry,” she managed in a shaky whisper, “if I knew you were - you were hurting like that, I wouldn’t have.. I wouldn’t have been avoiding you like I was; I never meant to hurt you-” She would then hold you at arm’s length, and you would both find each other getting lost in one another’s eyes again, before you leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her’s, and she would - at first - find herself melting into the kiss, before she quickly pulled away, though there was nothing more that she wanted, but to fix things between you both, and to feel your lips against her’s again; she was just worried, still, about what might happen if the others found out, or if the press somehow managed to catch on, and you would falter, before bowing your head a little to try and hide that there were still tears threatening to escape each of your sore, and damp eyes.

“Please,” you whined, “Rose-”

“No,” she interjected gently, before carefully lifting your face up a little so she could connect her forehead to your’s affectionately, whilst her heart began to ache again when she noticed how red and dark your eyes currently were, “we can’t - we can’t do this again, Y/n..”

“But-”

“The others, Joel-”

“I don’t care what they think,” you persisted, evidently desperate, and it was only breaking her heart even more; she hated seeing you like this, and wished she hadn’t reacted to the fight the way she had, “I love you, Rose; I need you, I - I can’t live without you.. P-Please don’t do this-”

“You’re gonna have to at least try, Y/n,” she interrupted gently, before trying to provide comfort to you by booping the tip of your nose with her’s, whilst you tried to fight back the strained sobs which were begging to escape your lips, “please.”

You would then nod gravely, realising she’d probably never change her mind, and she would express relief, but found she still couldn’t rid herself of the pain which was currently radiating throughout her body, alongside your’s. “Could - Could you, at least.. stay with me, for.. for one more night?” You requested, and she would hesitate, not sure; she didn’t want to get your hopes up, and wasn’t sure if she’d able to stop herself from doing anything, if she stayed with you again, and she knew it wouldn’t be fair on you, if she did, and then went back to being simply just your friend, and band mate, the next day. “I’m.. I’m scared.. the - the nightmares keep coming back,” you explained, and she would frown, wishing she could do more to try and stop them for you, “a-and they only s-seem - seem to go away whenever you’re with me.”

Rose would consider it for a moment, before nodding slowly, and deciding she’d stay with you for at least one night. “Okay,” she replied, “but just for one night, n-no more than that.” You would manage a feeble smile up at her, before nodding, and managing a quiet ‘thank you’, whilst she helped you up off of the ground, and led you back inside so she could return to your room with you, and though she had been hoping maybe ‘it’ wouldn’t happen, it did, after she found herself considering it again, and deciding maybe it wouldn’t hurt you as much as she thought it would - you had been the one to find yourself kissing her again, anyway, and she would reluctantly allow herself to melt into the kiss, after deciding she should, to try and make the past few days up to you, and herself; they had been painful, and you’d both missed one another more than you could miss anything else, but most of all - she just wanted you to know that she did still love you, even if she felt as if she wasn’t allowed to say it, or show that she did in public, not even in front of the band anymore.

“It didn’t mean anything,” she claimed, “we were just tired, and - and you still kinda had some of those pills in your system, and I’m so sorry, Y/n, I really am-”

You would nod gravely, before staring down at your once again trembling, and wet hands; you’d been crying again, as usual, since she’d approached you, first, once morning came, and tried to apologise to you for what had occurred the previous night, and it was then that you found yourself beginning to break down all over again; you’d been hoping, maybe, that - even if the events of the previous night were some form of goodbye, which they felt like they were - they meant that she still felt something for you, but now you were finding yourself doubting again, and just assuming that it meant nothing, like she claimed it did. “You’re right,” you corroborated, and she would fall quiet, a pained expression on her face whilst she did; she could see that you were trying to hide that you were crying, again, and wished she’d never decided to let it happen, though she thought it wouldn’t hurt you, before, “it was nothing.” You would then force a smile up at her, but she could see through it, and see that you looked as if you might fall apart any minute now, hence why you quickly lowered your gaze again, whilst trying to fight back even more uninvited tears. “I, er..” You continued, before forcing yourself out of your seat at the kitchen table, and Rose would silently plead for you to meet her gaze again, but you found you couldn’t, knowing you’d only fall apart even more, if you did, “I have.. an appointment, s-so.. I might not be able to make the rehearsal, today, but.. you guys’ll be.. be fine, right? What use is - is the bassist, anyway?”

You would then hastily make for the door, finding you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer as you began to cry again, and Rose would begin to panic, rushing after you; she was worried you might do something stupid, like try to take your life, again, take even more of those stupid crushed up pills, or try to hurt yourself, and she couldn’t let it happen, but you were determined to get away, and not be stopped this time. “Y/n, wait!” She cried, but you would manage to slip out of the room, and bump into Joel immediately after you did, but you wouldn’t stop, rushing off before he could even open his mouth to speak, and Rose would wince, upon noticing him, and he would appear suspicious, before tilting his head partially over at her, evidently expecting an answer from her, which she would reluctantly give, after tugging him into the room, and closing the door so she could tell him everything about you both, though he already had been getting a slight idea of what had been happening between you both recently, and he hated it, but would try to hide this from her, wanting to at least remain on her good side, though she’d admitted she didn’t have feelings for him, as he was hopeful that she would change her mind, but she was determined not to, and believed she could never love anyone else as much as she loved you, and always had, and that’s why she rushed out looking for you as soon as she’d made sure to tell him everything, and effectively brought to an end her fake relationship with him; she didn’t want to hurt you anymore; she couldn’t, and knew this would be the only way she could do that for you.

🜸

After searching for what felt like hours, and finding nothing, Rose would reluctantly decide to give in, after Suki had advised her to, upon noticing how exhausted she appeared, and Rose would hesitantly allow herself to confide in Suki, too, who reacted better than Rose thought she would - in fact, she appeared delighted, as well as worried about you, to hear that you both had been secretly seeing one another, and worried to now hear that you were missing, but she would try not to let herself, or Rose panic, whilst slowly leading Rose back toward the lobby of the hotel you were all currently staying in, where the others, obviously excluding you, were waiting for them. Rod would stand up immediately upon their entry, and both Suki and Rose could tell that he was silently fuming; he’d heard from Joel that you had run off again - as well as about everything that had been going on between you both, and now wasn’t sure whether he should postpone the next rehearsal, or go ahead without you. “Let me guess - you couldn’t find her?” He uttered, whilst in the process of lighting a cigarette, and Rose would shake her head, whilst a pained expression began to cross her face again; she couldn’t believe she’d let you slip away like that, and now there was a possibility that she could lose you, if you decided to try and take your life like you had tried to a few times, before she’d met you, and before you’d both started secretly seeing one another. “Well, shit,” he remarked, but would manage to catch himself before he could begin ranting at the group, especially when he noticed the look on Rose’s face, and could tell she didn’t need another of his angry speeches right now, so instead he would take out another cigarette from the packet whilst the one he’d lit was being held in his mouth, before offering it to her, assuming she needed it, and she would hesitantly accept it from him shakily, before nodding her thanks to him after he’d lit it for her. “She’ll be fine,” he continued, before turning partially to the others - Joel and Eddie (Eddie is Rod’s brother, and the drummer of the band) - and forcing a smile, “what do you wanna do, gang? The next show’s tomorrow night, and we’re missing our bassist - do we wait, or start without her?”

“If she even comes back,” Rose mustered feebly, whilst tears began to cloud her vision again, and she would then have to bite down a little on her bottom lip to stop it from trembling, before she bowed her head, and Suki would try and provide comfort to her by hooking a reassuring right arm over her shoulder, “I should have.. I should have told her the truth - she probably hates me now-”

“She couldn’t hate you,” Suki contradicted gently, “she probably just needs a little time to think about things, and then she’ll come back, I promise.”

Rose would then find herself beginning to panic again, whilst even managing to imagine the possibility that you could be laying in a pool of your own blood right now, prompting Rose to turn to Suki whilst her tears managed to escape, and stream down her cheeks. “What if she doesn’t? W-What if she’s-..” She then found she couldn’t take it anymore as she began to break down, a strained sob managing to escape her lips, and Suki would ease her into a hug, whilst silently hoping you weren’t, herself, as you’d both also been good friends since you’d first joined the band.

As if on cue, you appeared at the end of the hallway, dragging yourself toward the lobby, and you would falter as soon as you noticed the others waiting for you; you didn’t think they would, and would begin to feel guilty for disappearing like you had when you could see that Rose was crying, whilst also finding yourself wondering why she’d bother worrying over a nobody like you, even prompting you to believe that maybe she wasn’t crying about you, prompting your heart to sink a little as you considered all the other possible reasons why. As soon as Suki had noticed you, she’d express relief, and then smile in your direction. “She’s not,” she cooed, “because she’s back.”

Rose would then instantly turn to face you, once Suki had released her from her embrace, before rushing up to you, and throwing her arms around you. At first, you would tense up, not expecting her to be happy that you were okay, but would then soon melt into her embrace shortly after, before returning the hug, and burying your face into the crook of her neck whilst you found yourself beginning to cry alongside her. “I’m so sorry,” she managed, her voice shaky, and muffled against your right shoulder, and you would shake your head, not wanting her to feel as if she should apologise, when you believed everything that had happened recently to be your fault, “I-.. I shouldn’t have let it happen, I know; I just.. I..”

You would then falter, before nodding gravely, and assuming she didn’t love you again. “N-No, it’s my fault,” you murmured, before escaping her embrace, though you wanted nothing, but to remain within her arms, and she would feel empty all of a sudden, alongside you, prompting her glistening and sore eyes to silently plead with your’s, “it’s - l-like you said, earlier - just because.. we were tired, and I was still.. high, I guess, if.. if being high is.. is like being in love with someone, and.. having them not feel the same way, for you.” She would falter alongside you, before shaking her head subconsciously, whilst soon finding herself trying not to cry again. “Whilst I was-.. elsewhere,” you began again quietly, “I.. I was thinking m-maybe.. maybe it would be better if I.. quit.”

That was it - the moment that Rose found herself beginning to break down completely; she couldn’t believe it; that you wanted to leave, after everything you’d both been through together, recently; all the memories you’d both made together, and she couldn’t hold herself back any longer as she suddenly pushed you gently, as she had no intention of trying to hurt you, surprising you, but you wouldn’t blame her; you never could, feeling as if you were the only one to blame for everything that had been going on recently. “What the fuck?” She replied, and you would bow your head, trying not to feel guilty, and change your mind, as you knew she’d be happier without you, and that things would probably just get worse, if you decided to stay. “Are you serious?” She questioned, and you would nod, whilst staring down at your feet, and she would shake her head again; she couldn’t let you leave; she just couldn’t, as she honestly couldn’t imagine her life without you in it. “Is this what you wanted, all along?” She hissed, and you would hesitantly glance up at her again, whilst the others awkwardly looked around the room. Rod would then clear his throat, but Rose would ignore him. “To make me fall in love with you, and - and then - then just fucking leave, as if it never happened? As if I meant nothing to you?” She clarified, and you would grimace, before looking away again; you thought it had been the other way around, as you’d been feeling as if you meant nothing to her, recently; that everything you’d both done together had simply just been for fun, and not because she felt the same way, for you, when she always had, unbeknownst to you, now, ever since you’d both first met, and she’d invited you to join the band with her and the others. “Do you really expect me to be okay with that?” She added, and you would simply shrug, whilst the tears began to force their way down your cheeks again.

“I guess I just.. thought it wouldn’t mean anything,” you answered truthfully, and she would scoff, before shaking her head; she couldn’t believe you, “that maybe you’d.. be happier, if I weren’t in the way anymore.”

“Why would you ever think something like that?” She pried, and would wince when she noticed that some other people who had recently joined the room were now watching, with skeptical looks on their faces, and she would then bow her head a little, before she shook it timidly, whilst cursing herself for what she was doing. You knew, though, that she was worried again, about what the people watching would think of you both, as well as about what they might do - terrified, even, that they might try and hurt you for whatever crazy reason; she didn’t care if they tried to hurt her, just you; she couldn’t let anything happen to you, and knew that she’d never be able to forgive herself if she did. “Y’know what? Fine,” she spat, and you would then look back at her, when you felt able, with a hurt look on your face; you’d looked over at the group of people after you’d noticed her glancing over at them like she had, “leave, I - I meant what I said, Y/n, what happened meant nothing, I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”

You would nod gravely, before looking away again, whilst wondering why you hadn’t just taken your life, earlier, like you’d been considering doing a lot recently. “Fine, I will,” you uttered, before turning, and walking away, prompting Rose to begin to panic again as she shook her head, before rushing after you, and catching your right arm.

“N-No, don’t, please, I’m so sorry-”

You would then hesitantly turn to face her, and she would then hold you at arm’s length so she could meet your gaze, and get lost in your eyes again, as she’d missed doing so recently. “So you want me to stay, now?” You interjected shakily, and she would nod, whilst her cheeks began to heat up, but you would try not to get your hopes up, though she was blushing. “I don’t know what to think anymore, Rose,” you expressed, and she would nod gravely again, “if - if you don’t love me, prove it to me; prove that you’ve never even felt at least something for me.” She would then nervously look over at the group of spectators again, and you would shake your head, not wanting her to feel as if she had to be worried about what they would think, anymore. “D-Don’t look at them,” you begged, desperate, “they don’t matter, just.. just look at me.” She would then glance back at you, and you would then timidly inch closer to her so you could try and provide comfort to her by connecting your forehead to her’s, and she would instantly relax, whilst beginning to feel as if it were now just you both who were in the room, prompting her heart to begin to race again alongside your’s. “Do.. Do you love Joel? Because if you do, t-then-.. that’s fine,” you mustered, not wanting to force her into anything; you only wanted her to be happy, even if it meant she could only be happy with someone else, and not you, though you knew you’d probably never be the same again if you lost her, “I’ll.. never bother you again, because-.. I love you, Rose, a-and.. all I want is for you to be happy, and if he makes you happy-”

Rose would then shake her head, before she lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, prompting you to fall quiet, whilst you subconsciously leaned into her touch, and found yourself getting lost in her icy blue eyes again. “Only you could ever make me happy,” she managed shakily, her voice close to a whisper, before she delicately connected her lips to your’s, and you would instantly melt into the kiss, whilst you both eased each other closer as soon as the kiss began to deepen, ignoring the hushed comments from the crowd of people who were watching you both together, until Rod cleared his throat again, prompting you both to begrudgingly end the kiss to look over at him.

“As much as I love a happy ending,” he began, “and think you’re both adorable together, I’m afraid we’ve still got a rehearsal to get underway, right? For the show tomorrow?”

You would wince, whilst Rose appeared disgruntled; she’d rather focus on you. “Fine,” she gave in, before glancing over at you again, and smirking, “don’t worry, it’ll be only you I ogle from now on, on and off the stage.”

You would suddenly appear elated, whilst remembering how much fun you’d both used to have together on the stage whenever you were engaging in unexpected duets and solos together, and how your heart would race, and you would feel warm and fuzzy whenever she was singing to you, and had occasionally been hugging you whilst she did. “Y-You mean - things’ll go back to the way they used to be?” You mused, and she would nod quickly, whilst fighting back a giggle; she found your reaction adorable, as well as amusing, evidently, and you would then throw your arms around her again, prompting her to return the hug immediately after you had. “We’ll do the best duet,” you remarked, and she would giggle, before nodding in agreement with you.

“And then we’ll end the show with me singing Anti-Everything - to you, this time,” she added, before delicately kissing you again, and you would revel in the fluttery feeling you were currently experiencing, “and every other time, I promise, because I’m never gonna let anyone separate us ever again, never.”

“I love you so much,” you expressed, and she would smile lovingly over at you, whilst her eyes began to glint alongside your’s, “and I always will, no matter what.”

“I love you, too,” she returned, “now let’s go - Rod’s looking impatient to get back to his whiskey-”

“Damn right I am,” he corroborated, before gesturing for them to follow him out of the hotel, and to the studio he’d rented upon the band’s arrival, and everything appeared to be going as splendidly as it had been, before, until one of the many interrupted, as well as threatened shows leading up to the band’s final one, after you’d found yourself almost overdosing as an attempt to take your own life again, but after you’d been found and saved by Rose, you found you couldn’t yet remember why, until she’d reluctantly decided to remind you of the fatal accident that she’d almost experienced that same night, due to a member of the audience’s unchecked gun, and evident disapproval of your and her love for one another being the reason why they’d decided to bring it, and tried to use it to kill you both.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

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karaoketracks · 1 year ago

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Have You Met Miss Jones by Frank Sinatra Custom Mix Backing Track - https://karaoketracks.net/?p=526230

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quokkacore · 4 years ago

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can you dig it? (m) [kim doyoung & kim jungwoo]

summary: post concert highs can be a real bummer, and tonight, after a particularly intense performance, your boyfriends help you come down.

pairing: kim doyoung x kim jungwoo x fem!reader

genre: poly!au, 70s!au, band!au, smut, fluff

warnings: drug usage (weed specifically), mentions of other substances (lsd and cocaine), shotgunning, established poly relationship, soft dom jungwoo, mentioned switch jungwoo, hard dom doyoung, sub reader, high sex, sex on a water bed!!, unprotected sex, spit kink, they're all so sweaty help, mxm, degradation kink, praise kink, orgasm denial, overstimulation, minor possessiveness

song recs: don’t stop - fleetwood mac // unlock it (feat. kim petras & jay park) - charli xcx // love her madly - the doors // ziggy stardust - david bowie // rhiannon - fleetwood mac // eclipse - kim lip (loona) // flick of the wrist - queen

word count: 5.4k

a/n: this is for my best friend, who i love with all my heart,bc last month we were talking abt the dowoo photoshoot and she said smth about high sex with dowoo. happy birthday queen <3 thank u for listening to me complain abt writing all the time :’)

masterlist

Friday, July 22rd, 1977

The concert hall smelled like cocaine and sweat, you noted to yourself as the three of you joined hands to bow. Cheers from the crowd bounced off of the walls as you bid them your final goodbye, wishing them a good night and telling them to drive safe. Still, their chanting persisted. "Seoul Motel! Seoul Motel! Seoul Motel!"

You wondered vaguely if this was what it was like to be a young god.

The curtain lowered, and the three of you were ushered offstage, to take some pictures and then head back to the hotel, to try and get some rest before you were off to Philadelphia, some five or so hours from where you were now: Boston.

Truthfully, everything passed in a blur. It was almost always like this after these concerts. The thrill and euphoria of performing made it difficult to focus on things. That might have also been because Jungwoo had passed you a joint before the concert. You couldn't be completely sure.

Your tambourine and guitar seemingly disappeared, but you knew it would show up tomorrow for soundcheck when you got to the Philadelphia venue, right along with Jungwoo's bass guitar and Doyoung's drum kit.

What you did know was that here, in the car back to the hotel that your manager was driving, lecturing you and Jungwoo about the importance of being sober when talking to reporters, Doyoung had a hand on your thigh, and that was all you could focus on.

Doyoung was high too. You knew this because ten minutes before you were needed on stage he pulled you forward by the hips and told you to take a few hits from the hand rolled joint and blow the smoke into his mouth. Of course, he wasn't as high as you and Jungwoo were, and he knew how to hide it better. But if you were to get close enough you'd notice the redness rimming his eyes, the dilation of his pupils.

The three of you were something, that was for sure. You had been, probably ever since Jungwoo joined the band, some eight years ago, in the fall of '69. You only really defined what you were once you got your first big hit thanks to some disc jockey in LA playing a song you had written, Calabasas, on the radio back in '73.

The song had blown up, and suddenly the three of you were whisked into a whirlwind of celebrities, drugs, paparazzi and producers who thought the three of you were born yesterday. Yes, you were college kids that ran on booze and weed, but you weren’t complete morons. That was when the three of you sat down to properly discuss boundaries, what slid and what didn’t.

You and your boys decided that night that weren’t down with the idea of everyone knowing. Too many prying eyes. The public didn’t really know, because the press would have a damn field day.

Other than that, it was a pretty open secret. In the industry, who was going around with who didn’t really matter—a lot of them were too off their face to even care. You realized that a few years back when David Bowie walked in on you watching Jungwoo and Doyoung get it on in a bathroom at some afterparty in New York City, and closed the door muttering something about how strong the edibles were.

So, what your manager said fell on deaf ears. Too much weed, too much adrenaline, too much energy for someone who needed to head back onto the road in a few hours.

When you finally got back to the hotel, Jungwoo grabbed your hand in the elevator on the way up to your rooms, which were right next to each other. "You said that your bed was really big… can we come up?"

You nodded, leaning against his arm. Doyoung hummed affectionately at the sight, noting how tired you both were.

"You two are about five seconds from passing out," Doyoung mumbled, and you waved your hand in denial.

"Are not," you protested like a child.

"Y/N, don't be a chump. I'm pretty sure if Woo weren't next to you, you'd have fallen over."

You didn't have the energy to counter, and as the elevator slid open, you were the first one to march out, ready to just take a cold shower and die for the next few hours.

Realistically, you knew that wasn't what would happen. What would happen was that you would shower, get into bed and then toss and turn for another hour or so. Only then would the adrenaline truly wear off. The weed didn't help, making you feel sleepy.

You unlocked the door, and Doyoung and Jungwoo gawked at the sight—and size—of your bed. It could probably fit all three of you easily.

Since only one room would spark rumors, the manager usually booked two: one for Doyoung and Jungwoo and one for you. Your room always went unused. Usually, you would have to push Doyoung's and Jungwoo's beds together to make enough room, leaving an awkward and uncomfortable dip for the person in the middle. Whoever got the middle was handed the terrible double edged sword: cuddles galore, but a sore back in the morning.

Immediately Jungwoo jumped onto the bed, gasping and immediately laughed gleefully as the bed sloshed underneath him.

"A water bed!?" He exclaimed, splaying out his limbs. "Oh, far out. You really lucked out, dollface."

He kicked off his shoes and curled up in the middle, eyes fluttering shut. You followed, sitting at the side as you peeled off your white leather go-go boots. Throwing yourself down next to him, you sighed at the sensation of waves beneath you, and nodded. "Oh, this is ace," You murmured, "Feels great."

Peeling one eye open as Jungwoo wrapped his arm around you, your gaze landed on Doyoung, who was still leaning against the wall. You beckoned him over with a hand. "C'mere, princey."

He made sure that the air conditioner was working before sitting down on the other side of Jungwoo, for which you were grateful. The still drying sweat on the back of your neck and on your chest started to cool instantly. You and Jungwoo giggled as Doyoung’s weight sent waves rippling beneath you.

"So, are you guys gonna sleep or what?" Doyoung asked, kicking his shoes off as well and peeling off his denim jacket. His eyes were still wide open and he didn't look tired at all. "I'm probably staying up a little later, I have some ideas for some lyrics I want to get down—"

"I would love to sleep. But I can't," Jungwoo declared before glancing knowingly at the both of you, "and neither can either of you."

You hummed in agreement. "Hmm, you're not wrong. Too much energy left."

You turned to bury your face into his chest. His forest green short-sleeved button up was only buttoned up halfway, easily revealing his collarbones. He smelled like pot, sweat, and designer cologne. His chest rumbled as he continued to speak.

"What about you, bunny boy? You can't tell me you don't still feel it."

"The weed or the concert jitters?" Doyoung's voice was raspy, cautious. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going. Once you and Jungwoo ganged up on him, it wouldn't take long to wear him down.

"Both," You and Jungwoo said in unison. You laughed at the sound. Doyoung chuckled as well, and you cracked your eyes open, despite how cozy you felt with Jungwoo stroking the skin of your nape.

"Well, the jitters are still there. That's why I'm staying up. As for the weed… well, yeah. I still feel it."

Jungwoo sighed. "How's the weed hitting you, though?"

"Honestly?" Doyoung's eyes met yours, and you felt something simmer in your chest. He huffed, deciding to take a bite of the apple, and leaned towards the both of you.

"The weed, plus watching you two perform… Safe to say I'm pretty fuckin' horny right now."

You bit your lip, giving him a sleepy grin. "Oh, Woo, we turned him on." The teasing tone wasn't missed despite the sleepiness in your tone.

"And what about it?" Doyoung asked, leaning back on his hands. "You can't say that watching Jungwoo do the thing doesn't get you going."

"I have a thing?"

"We all have a thing, Woo. Princey's over there is at the end of Mr. Jones' Motorcycle. You know, when he finishes the solo? He always throws his head back, because there's sweat and hair in his eyes. You can see his neck and shit..."

Jungwoo blinked. "Shit, that is his thing… What's mine?"

You raised an eyebrow at Doyoung. "His is the thing where he gets so into it that he throws his head back and plays, and still manages to get every bass note right, right?"

Doyoung nodded with a satisfied hum. "Gets you going, right?"

You brought a hand up to Jungwoo's chest, slowly sliding it down his stomach. Your voice lowered to a raspy murmur, and Jungwoo's hand tightened around your waist. "Damn right it does."

"And plus, you both have told me that watching me put together the drum kit is hot."

"'Cause it is!" Again you laughed as Jungwoo said the same thing you did.

"Jungwoo." Doyoung's voice sounded thicker. "You can't tell me that Y/N isn't an absolute vixen on stage."

"You're right," The younger man answered, voice gruff. His hand slid down, gripping your butt and giving it a light squeeze, before directing his words at you. "Oh! Y/N, your thing is when—you know how every time you play the transition from Calabasas to Saturn’s Rings you sway your hips and flip your hair back and forth? Sometimes you’ll look at me or at Doyoung while you do, and you looked at me tonight. You're a little tease up there, dollface."

Your breath hitched at their words. “Oh, yeah?” You goaded, cuddling further into Jungwoo’s chest. You let a coy smile grace your face as your eyes fluttered shut. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Don’t be a brat,” Doyoung growled.

“No, Doie,” Jungwoo hummed. He suddenly sounded a lot more awake. “...What would you have her do about it?”

Your eyes fluttered open, swallowing despite the sudden dryness in your throat. Doyoung's pupils were still blown wide, but you were pretty sure it wasn't because of the weed. He licked his lips. "Princess, get on your knees."

Jungwoo prompted you up, pulling you up to stand at the side of the bed. Doyoung circled around the bed, before standing next to Jungwoo. Your gaze fluttered between your two boyfriends, one looking stern, the other looking like he was having the time of his life.

Quietly, you lowered yourself to kneel on the plush carpet, fingers gripping the silver fabric of your dress' skirt to hike it up, so that you wouldn't kneel on it. Your hands itched to reach for them but you knew you needed to ask for permission. "Can I touch you?"

Doyoung smiled, reaching for his belt. "There's our good girl," He said. Your mouth was already watering embarrassingly as you helped him undo his belt, pulling him out of his boxers. He was already half hard, and as you lifted your hand to spit in it, someone grabbed you gently by the rest. Jungwoo leaned over, turning your hand to reveal your palm to him. His eyes seemed to burn into yours as he let his spit fall into the palm of your hand. You felt your legs close, thighs trying to rub together at the sight.

"Go on," Jungwoo murmured, using a hand on your jaw to move your head. Your eyes fell on Doyoung's cock again, slowly getting harder and harder. Your hand wrapped around it, stroking slowly as you met his smoldering gaze. You stroked him until he was rock hard in your grip, and his breathing turned heavy. Again, you swallowed, and Doyoung noticed this time.

“What is it, princess? You want it in your mouth?”

“Yes, please,” You whispered, eyes wide. He chuckled breathily, head tipping back as you ran your thumb over the slit. His eyes met Jungwoo’s, who was palming himself through his pants.

“What do you think, baby?” He asked him.

“Don’t be mean, Doyoung,” Jungwoo said softly. “Look at her, she’s desperate. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

You whined, nodding. The pair chuckled. Jungwoo grinned at the state you were already in. “Go ahead, dollface. Give it a kiss.”

Before Doyoung could say anything else, you took his dick into your mouth, and let out a soft moan at how heavy he felt, hot and pulsing. He let out a guttural groan of your name, a hand burying itself in your hair. His other hand gripped Jungwoo’s shirt, pulling him forward to meet in a tongue-filled kiss.

Slowly, Doyoung’s hips started rocking back and forth, grinding into your mouth. Your hands stroked what you couldn’t fit, as well as his balls. Your eyes fluttered shut, trying to relax so as to not gag on his length. But when he sped up, it became too much to avoid.

A tap on your shoulder, and Doyoung let you off of his cock. You turned your head to look up at a very flushed Jungwoo, who had pulled his dick out of his pants as well. The words, “Me too?” tumbled out of his swollen lips. And with that gentle, breathy tone, who were you to disobey?

You wrapped your lips around Jungwoo, who hissed at the sudden heat of your mouth. From there, something primal inside of you took control, wanting nothing more than to please—you took turns sucking them off and stroking them, the muffled sounds of their moaning spurring you on.

It was always like this—during sex, Doyoung was the meaner one, manhandling you and throwing degrading words in your face that made your stomach curl in sick pleasure. He was the one who could put you in your place when you became too bratty to handle. Jungwoo was gentler, but he was all too content to watch Doyoung toss you around. He would always swoop in after Doyoung took you apart, and piece you back together. He’d tell you how good you were, how good you made the both of them feel, and while he definitely didn’t treat you like fragile porcelain, he definitely didn’t leave as many bruises as Doyoung did.

And then, when they were both done, they’d shower you in kisses, and whisper in your ear how grateful they were to love you, and say some philosophical thing about eternal love and the cosmos that you’d always be too fucked out to comprehend, but that made your heart do a backflip regardless.

“Shit,” Jungwoo groaned, pulling away from Doyoung’s lips. “Y/N, I’m gonna cum.”

You pulled off of Doyoung to look up at Jungwoo. “In my—in my mouth, please, Woo.”

He nodded, licking his lips as his hands fisted themselves in your hair, gripping but not pulling as he allowed you to touch him the way you wanted. His hands gathered the loose strands into a makeshift ponytail, using it to guide your mouth up and down his hot cock. His hips bucked into your willing mouth, the sound of his hissing and his moaning getting louder and louder, until…

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/N… Y/N!" He groaned, as he came into your mouth. His head tipped back, which gave Doyoung access to his neck, pressing sloppy kisses to the skin. This sight was worth the bitter taste that coated your tongue: one of your lovers in ecstasy while the other anchored him to the ground.

He left his dick in your mouth for a moment, before pulling out with a shaky breath. Doyoung pulled away, letting him breathe. As Jungwoo caught his breath, Doyoung pulled you up, and he sat on the bed, bringing you down with him to straddle his lap.

You turned your head to face Jungwoo, who smiled at you, coming closer to the both of you. One of his hands patted the top of your head. "That was wicked," He said.

Doyoung smiled softly, and gripped your chin to get you to face him. His sweet grin didn't disappear as his grip forced your mouth open. He groaned at the sight of your tongue coated in Jungwoo's semen.

"Gorgeous," He mumbled, eyes trained on your lips as it began to spill out.

"Kiss her," Jungwoo told him, "You know you want to."

So he did, his tongue almost immediately slipping past your lips to get a taste of Jungwoo for himself, swallowing it down greedily. Your hands came up to unbutton his black dress shirt, and his hands pushed up the skirt of your dress to get you to rock your hips against his. You gasped against his mouth at the feeling of only your soaked panties separating him and you, before pushing the shirt off of him.

He moved to lie you down on the bed. As he pulled away from you, you caught his tongue slipping out to lick at a dribble of Jungwoo's cum on his lips. To make matters even worse, the bed was rolling beneath you, making your head spin.

Jungwoo pulled his shirt off before he sat down behind you. Meanwhile, Doyoung moved down your body, parting your legs. He prompted you to sit up, resting your back against his chest. He pressed a kiss to your earlobe as Doyoung peeled your underwear off of you, biting his lip at the sight of your drooling pussy.

"You're absolutely drenched, princess. And all from sucking our cocks, huh?"

You nodded, eyes fluttering shut as Jungwoo's lips began kissing along your jaw. When you didn't say anything, Jungwoo pinched your sides gently. "Use your words, doll," He whispered. From behind you, his eyes met Doyoung's. "You're gonna keep being our good little girl, right?"

"Y-yes, Jungwoo." Your hand lifted itself to press against his cheek, a silent plea for more kisses. He smiled against your skin.

"Atta girl," He praised, "On your best behavior for us tonight, huh?"

"The little slut's just being good because she wants to get fucked, Woo. Don't get it twisted."

"Please, Doie," You pleaded at the mention of being fucked, "Need it."

The older man chuckled lowly, pressing the pad of his thumb to your clit.

"Told you."

His tongue pressed itself against your hole, and you immediately cried out. You would have immediately started grinding against Doyoung's face if it weren't for Jungwoo's hands on your hips, holding you down and keeping it still.

"I don't think you wanna do that," He murmured. His hands travelled underneath your skirt, gripping the silvery blue gossamer as he tried to lift it up. You did your best to keep your squirming at a minimum as you tried to help him get you out of it. Finally, the bell sleeves were pulled off, and you were left naked as the day you were born.

Jungwoo’s hands moved to your breasts, playing with them as he watched you whimper at the sensation of Doyoung’s mouth working at your folds. When he slipped his tongue inside, you keened, head falling against Jungwoo’s shoulder.

“You’re so pretty like this,” He whispered.

Your chest heaved, squirming up and down as he began to tug and pinch your nipples, calloused fingertips making you cry out.

Doyoung’s free hand gripped your thigh, and his fingers on the other hand slipped inside when he pulled his tongue out. Immediately, he plunged in two fingers, curling his fingers as he attempted to search for that one special spot.

"Ngh, Doie, faster, pleasepleaseplease." Your legs were trembling slightly now.

"So fucking slutty," Doyoung mumbled, chuckling wickedly, "And all I had to do was stick my fingers inside."

He complied with no protest, and the sensation of Doyoung stroking your walls and Jungwoo continuously pawing at your breasts caused a string of moans to come pouring out of your mouth. Jungwoo had been sucking a bruise into your clavicle, but leaned up to press his lips against yours.

"Don't want anyone hearing what's meant for Doie and I," He said, lips brushing yours.

The idea made you even needier, the double entendre making your head spin. Jungwoo didn't want anyone to hear you because if they did, rumors would spread. And on top of that? He didn't want anyone to hear. You were theirs. They were yours. This was a sacred ritual between bodies meant to be witnessed by only the three of you.

Your head felt like you were floating, even though your limbs felt like they were sinking into the watery mattress. A coil began to tighten in your stomach, and your soft whines, muffled by Jungwoo's plush lips, increased in pitch.

They both knew what this meant, because a second later, Doyoung removed his fingers from your core, and Jungwoo pulled away, his hands moving from your breasts to rest on Doyoung's atop your hips. You were left reeling and breathing heavily, that familiar sensation floating away.

When you looked down at Doyoung, you swallowed at the sight of his lips, chin and fingers, all glistening with your wetness.

He lifted himself up off the mattress, and proceeded to sandwich your chest in between his own chest and Jungwoo’s back. He gripped his dick, rubbing it against your folds, which were now even more soaked than before.

"Tell me how much you want it, princess." He pressed his forehead against yours, hissing when the tip caught your clit. You let out a desperate whine, clinging to his broad shoulders.

"Do—Doyoung, please fuck me," You begged, reeling at the sensation. He was so close, all he had to do was slide in. But he refused.

"Not good enough," He insisted.

"Doyoung, don't be mean," Jungwoo said, but he seemed to be more amused by your desperation than anything.

"No, I wanna hear how much she needs us."

You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to gather your words. Jungwoo's hands stroked your sides, trying to calm you down. "You doing alright, doll? You wanna take a breather?"

"We can always stop." Doyoung's voice had turned stable, secure, safe. He started pulling away, until you grabbed him by the forearm and shook your head. You opened your eyes, seeing concern in his eyes

“No,” You mumbled, “Jus’ want some water. Think there’s some in the minibar. ‘M really hot.”

Doyoung nodded, getting up and striding over to the small refrigerator on the other side of the room. He pulled out a water bottle, and popped open the cap before passing it to you. Jungwoo had taken to fanning your face lightly with his hand. You took several long swigs of water, before setting it on the nightstand.

“I’m fine,” You promised. “Can we please keep going? I can take it.”

Doyoung pressed a kiss to your temple. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yeah,” You said with a nod.

“Doyoung,” Jungwoo murmured, “Be careful.”

“I know, baby." He lowered his eyes to study your face. "I won’t go that hard on you, Y/N.”

You nodded, even though deep down you wanted to protest. You knew that this was probably the best route to take. You could already feel the high—from the weed and the concert—wearing off. You knew that if Doyoung were too rough you’d probably crash on the way down instead of float.

So, Jungwoo brushed some stray hair out of your sweaty face, and Doyoung grabbed your legs gently, wrapping them around his hips. Slowly, Doyoung eased in, and you sighed in satisfaction of finally being filled. He bit into your shoulder, taking deep heaving breaths as he let you get used to the sensation. Jungwoo took turns pressing kisses to the top of your head and the top of Doyoung’s head.

“I love you both so much,” He whispered, “I’m so grateful the universe brought us together.”

Doyoung looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “My baby,” He murmured against Jungwoo’s lips. He then turned to you and did the same, “My princess.”

You smiled at their words, but the need in your core was becoming unbearable. "Doie, Woo, I love you both so much," You murmured, "But Doyoung, if you don't move I'll pin you down and do it myself."

"And you were doing so well," Doyoung groaned with a laugh, before beginning to thrust his hips. It was a slow, torturous glide, and the way it caused the bed to rock left you dizzy in the best possible way. Doyoung was panting into your ear like some sort of beast, and you were whining softly with every cant of his hips.

"You must feel so good right now, huh, doll?"

"Jung—woo," You moaned, clawing at his bicep.

"I know, dolly, I know." He sounded sympathetic enough, but the way he was grinding his dick against your ass suggested otherwise. "Bunny boy is just so good with those hips of his, hm?"

"H-he is!" You cried, "Feel so full, ah, Doyoung!"

Doyoung's eyes met yours, and his hips picked up their pace, until your eyes rolled up into your head. Your head thrashed side to side, leaning against Jungwoo's shoulder. His mouth lowered once again to kiss at your neck, and your hand wrapped itself against his nape, while the other gripped Doyoung's shoulders.

Jungwoo's hands slithered down to where you and Doyoung were connected, and started rubbing at your clit. You shrieked, chest arching. Doyoung hissed. "Shit, do that again," He bit out, "Fuck, princess you just got so tight."

"D-Doie, harder!"

Doyoung looked up at Jungwoo, the two having an unspoken conversation. A second later, Jungwoo gave a cautious nod. Doyoung smiled, before he adjusted his legs. Then…

Then. He began pounding into you at a breakneck pace. Your legs tightened around him, wanting him even deeper than before.

"You love this, don't you? Our pretty little slut." His voice was tighter now, panting with exertion. You nodded.

"Yes, yes! I'm your slut!"

Doyoung grinned, before locking lips with you. His tongue dipped into your mouth, before letting you do the same to him. You could tell he was starting to feel something—he always kissed you or Jungwoo as a way of telling you he wouldn't last much longer.

Truthfully, you could feel it coming too—your body felt like it was on fire, and your hips couldn't stop squirming. Whether it was towards Jungwoo's calloused fingers on your clit, Doyoung's cock, or away from both, you couldn't tell. Your moans were getting shriller too.

You clenched down on his length again, and he grit his teeth, grunting as his pace turned sloppy.

"C-c'mon, princey," You pleaded, "Give it to me, give it…"

"Shit, yes…" His head lolled onto your shoulder. "Gonna stuff you so full, princess, you'll be dripping—"

"Please! Oh, please—"

The two of you fell apart almost at the same time, your orgasm triggering Doyoung's a second later. Your mouth fell open, legs trembling and heart pounding as waves crashed over and under you.

When you came down, Doyoung rolled off of you, turning onto his side to watch you and Jungwoo. Jungwoo, who ceased the movements of his hands and slowly laid you down. Your head landed against the pillows, and you let your eyes shut as you caught your breath.

"Can I take care of you one last time, doll?" You heard Jungwoo say. Your eyes opened blearily, and you reached a hand out towards him, legs parting of their own accord.

Both of your lovers groaned at the sight of your pussy, Doyoung's cum brimming from your folds.

"Absolute perfection," Jungwoo murmured, crawling between your legs. He gripped his dick with one hand, the other swiping through your folds, and you immediately whined at the sensitivity there, teetering the fine line between pleasure and pain.

"Please," You whimpered, "Woo, I want it."

"You're insatiable." He sounded so affectionate, so in love. You watched as his eyes studied his index and middle fingers, covered in a mix of Doyoung's cum and yours, before dipping them into his mouth to lick them clean. You sighed, a dopey smile gracing your features. He lowered himself down to brush noses with you, dark eyes blown wide, wide awake despite the dark circles underneath.

"Guess I'll just have to do something about that."

He slid in as if he was coming home, immediately setting a solid pace that had you seeing stars, arms wrapping around his shoulders to lock hands at his nape. The sensitivity left you pliant in his arms, and Jungwoo didn't hesitate in cradling you in his arms.

"So good for us, Y/N. Always Doie and I's sweet girl."

You nodded, tears brimming at your eyes at the heaviness in your chest, the pulsing in your core. His hair was falling into his eyes, and you lifted your hands to his face, doing your best to brush it away. Your hands cupped his cheeks, heavy eyes burning into his. Your hips were rutting against his desperately now, wanting nothing more than to feel that high with him.

Jungwoo pressed a brief kiss to your neck, feeling something simmer in his gut embarrassingly fast.

Doyoung placed his head next to yours, gently lifting Jungwoo's head to kiss him, hand brushing the other man's ass. When he pulled away, he kissed you as well, and Jungwoo's mouth pressed itself to one of your nipples. You keened against Doyoung's mouth, hips losing all semblance of grace.

Here, you were needy, animalistic, running on instincts, and your boys were drinking it up like water from a desert oasis.

Doyoung pulled away, a thin trail of spit connecting his lips to yours. His hands cradled your head.

"Can you feel it yet, princess?"

Your eyebrows furrowed, silent moans falling from your lips. "Ah, yeah, Doie… s-so close…"

"Me too," Jungwoo groaned between your breasts, "So wet, Y/N…"

"That's from all the cum she's filled with, right, princess?"

You nodded. "Mm—ngh! Stuffed me so good, Doie."

"Yeah? You gonna let Jungwoo fill you up even more? Gonna keep it all inside, right?"

Your stomach did a backflip, and you felt your toes curl. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, I want it—"

"I'll give it to you, doll," Jungwoo growled, "It's all—fuck—all yours. S-same way this is all for us, right?"

Those words were what caused you to finally fall over the edge. Your high was so intense that you could have sworn that your ears popped—clawing at Jungwoo’s shoulders, your eyes squeezed shut. Only one side ended up scratched, since you always kept your right hand nails short to properly play guitar. You sobbed against Doyoung’s lips, and he eagerly swallowed up your cries, shushing you gently as you came back down.

You didn't feel Jungwoo come inside, but you felt it immediately afterwards—the satisfying stickiness, the warmth in your stomach.

You looked at Jungwoo, pressing a soft kiss to his sweaty forehead before prompting him to move off. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you towards him as his little spoon, peppering kisses to your cheek and whispering how good you were. The two of you looked at Doyoung. You reached out, making grabby hands at him. His eyes were drooping, and he was blinking blearily as if he were trying to fight off sleep.

Still, he got up and pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket, as well as his lighter. As he sat back down on the bed, the waves sent you and Jungwoo further and further into the recesses of slumber. As consciousness left you, you caught Doyoung looking down at the two of you as if you were the most precious beings he'd ever encountered. His tone was low and grumbly, but there was a glint of smug satisfaction in his eye.

"I hope you two are happy. I can't remember those goddamn lyrics anymore."

#kwritersworldnet #nct smut #doyoung x reader #jungwoo x reader #doyoung smut #jungwoo smut #kpop smut #kpop au #nct scenarios #nct 127 smut #nct 127 x reader #nct x reader #nct fluff #my writing

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 4 years ago

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20 WOMEN VOCALISTS IN METAL WHO ARE A DRIVING FORCE FOR THE GENRE

Lzzy Hale

If you haven’t heard of the colossal Halestorm and their show-stealing frontlady Lzzy Hale by now, how’s it been living under that rock? Out here in the real world, both rock and metal have been battling to claim Halestorm and Hale’s presence since the band’s first EP, (Don’t Mess With The) Time Man, in 1999. From the vitriolic masochism of “I Miss The Misery” to the heart-wrenching “Here’s To Us,” Hale’s vocal range reaches each extreme of moving emotion and devastating attitude. We couldn’t pay tribute to Hale without also recognizing her guitar talents. Check the sassy leading line from “Love Bites (So Do I)” as an example of this phenomenal lady’s ability to step beyond musical expression and into aural artistry.

SKYND

True crime has never been more compelling than at the hands of Australian electronic-metal sensation SKYND and their mystifying frontwoman of the same name. Tackling a new real-life mystery with each track, covering the disappearance and mysterious death of “Elisa Lam” and the doomed cult following of “Jim Jones,” SKYND’s haunting vocals tell each tale as if they were acting out in front of you. SKYND’s dedication to her theatrical persona (plus the ability to keep her real identity a secret), her iconic look and the creation of lore around her exposition of real-life crimes is a mystery the metal world may never solve, but perhaps it never should.

Taylor Momsen

Gossip Girl? We don’t know her—we know Taylor Momsen as the sultry tones commanding metal’s sassiest frontrunners the Pretty Reckless. With her gravelly vocals offset by her signature blacked-out eyes and suspenders, Momsen is an all-around powerhouse frontlady who bends all of your stereotypical expectations of a female vocalist. Take the hissing attitude of “Make Me Wanna Die,” the iconic summer anthem through “Messed Up World (F’d Up World),” the doomed “Going To Hell” and the gloriously filthy “My Medicine”—she’s not here for your entertainment, simply to make music in her own inimitable devil-may-care way.

Sharon den Adel

Where symphonic-metal outfits go through vocalists like water, Within Temptation’s Sharon den Adel has held on to her throne at the very beating heart of the genre since 1996. The band that introduced you to the dark side in high school has come a long way from “Angels” and “Our Farewell” to their most recent sensation “The Purge,” but the enduring talents of the angelic den Adel at the helm remain as moving as ever. Whether your heart breaks or races along with the captivating stories told through her cherubic vocals, den Adel’s talents have kept this legendary band alive and relevant for 25 years. We’re hanging on the edge of our seats for a new album.

Amy Lee

Most millennials were introduced to the world of metal through Evanescence’s invasion of radio airtime in the early 2000s, making vocalist Amy Lee an initial encounter in female presence in a heavily male realm. With an unforgettably haunting vocal range that can reach into your chest and pull out your heart with a single note, Lee’s trademark sound has lived in our minds since 2003’s Fallen and has no intention of letting go. From the iconic “Bring Me To Life” to her solo career’s “Speak To Me” and most notably the captivating “My Immortal,” Lee’s inimitable voice of an angel showed metal how to truly capture the mainstream.

Melissa Bonny

You’ve never seen symphonic metal quite like Switzerland’s Ad Infinitum and, consequently, you’ve never seen a frontwoman quite like Melissa Bonny. With her compelling vocals at the helm, each track tells a story steeped in historic struggles and triumphs as the band members each adopt a story of survival during the time of the Black Death in Europe. Every member appears in a plague doctor’s mask except Bonny, commanding the narrative as her show-stopping range transitions from heavenly cleans to venomous screams with ease. Ad Infinitum and Bonny’s towering talents begin an epic quest through the ranks of metal, and nothing will stand in their way.

Simone Simons

Symphonic-metal outfits face a constant challenge to stay relevant and move forward with the scene around them, more so than any other subgenre. However, the dreamy contributions of Simone Simons have kept Epica at the forefront of their genre since 2002. The band that once created “Storm The Sorrow” have matured to the lofty heights of “The Skeleton Key” with Simons’ operatic tones at the helm, bringing her angelic range to the band’s cinematic instrumentals and occasional death-metal infusions.

Maria Brink

Since their inception in 2005, In This Moment have redefined performance art and metal all at the same time, thanks to the command of iconic vocalist Maria Brink. Challenging religious imagery alongside feminine stereotypes, Brink’s presence both on and offstage has decimated the white male dominance of the metal genre. It takes a certain conviction and attitude to pull off the likes of “Whore” and “Blood” without trivializing their core moral messages, but Brink has rewritten the book on expectations of women in the heavy music industry. Long may she reign.

Larissa Stupar

Vicious, teeth-baring uncleans are the domain of Venom Prison’s Larissa Stupar, death metal’s brightest rising star. Whoever said women had to be the saccharine, angelic feminine contribution to metal clearly never met Stupar, who belts savage growls as if delivered from the gates of hell itself. The likes of “Uterine Industrialisation” and “Slayer Of Holofernes” prove devastating both live and in the studio when this unrelenting powerhouse gets her chops around them.

Alissa White-Gluz

Arch Enemy’s screamer-in-chief makes belting superhuman notes look easy. Alissa White-Gluz’s cord-shredding talents are the result of a career that started when she formed the Agonist at the age of 19. Joining Arch Enemy in 2014 gave White-Gluz a platform to showcase her range and also gave us her contagious live presence on a bigger stage. Providing her distinctive tones to regular collaborations with Kamelot and Delain, the voice behind Arch Enemy’s “War Eternal” and “You Will Know My Name” is no stranger to framing racing riffs with her guttural chops and showing off her heavenly cleans when the instrumentals allow.

Cristina Scabbia

The dual vocal onslaught we know and love from Lacuna Coil compels and fascinates, thanks to the storming presence of Cristina Scabbia. Dominating the metal scene since the ’90s, the enduring Italian crew pour richly gothic melodies over devastating riffs. Scabbia’s heavenly clean vocal is the cherry on top. From unforgettable classics such as “Our Truth” to their latest show-stopping “Save Me,” her dream-like range has been an invaluable gift to metal for over two decades and hopefully many, many more.

Tarja Turunen

The thought of losing founding Nightwish vocalist Tarja Turunen to the abyss of former symphonic singers when she left the outfit in 2005 was too much to bear. Luckily for us, Turunen kick-started her solo career the following year, and she’s been a mainstay of the metal scene ever since. The heavenly operatics that once heralded classics such as “Wish I Had An Angel” and “Nemo” now belts “Innocence” and “Tears In Rain” with the most celestial, earthbound vocals the genre has seen to date.

Suzuka Nakamoto

Easily the youngest member of our ranking, Suzuka Nakamoto, known as Su-metal, is the founding member of Japanese sensations BABYMETAL. With all the maturity of an artist twice her age, this 23-year-old puts us all to shame with her consistent energetic vocals and seemingly endless energy supplies while performing impeccable dance routines onstage. Between the iconic “Gimme Chocolate!!” and BABYMETAL’s latest “Kingslayer” collaboration with Bring Me The Horizon, there’s no denying she has a long and prolific career ahead of her.

Amalie Bruun

Myrkur has become a relentless hot topic in metal since its inception in 2014, and we have only recently discovered the identity of the haunting vocals at its heart. Now we can credit multi-instrumental composer Amalie Bruun with the rise of this mysterious Danish project, led into the wilderness by her raw screams bursting through cherubic cleans just when you least expect it. Often singing in Norwegian as an authentic twist on her own style of black metal, the theatrical “Ulvinde” and “Juniper”’s lingering atmospherics merely scratch the surface of Bruun’s compelling storytelling talents.

Elize Ryd

Amaranthe’s triple-threat vocals fetch their lighter tones from Elize Ryd, the Swedish outfit’s not-so-secret weapon who brings cherubic notes to their modern take on organized metallic chaos. Also known for her additions to Kamelot, both live and in the studio, Ryd’s heavenly cords and quirky songwriting add a bucketload of atmosphere and depth to the likes of “Amaranthine” and “Maximize,” making Amaranthe’s unique versatility one that continually sets trends for years to come.

Cammie Gilbert

Houston doom-metal upstarts Oceans Of Slumber have found themselves on a near-vertical trajectory over the last few years, a movement fronted by the tireless energy and boundless talents of their powerhouse vocalist Cammie Gilbert. Upon joining the band in 2014, Gilbert’s towering range came to the surface as her vocals neatly expand the lulling melancholy of “Winter” and the desperate cries of “A Return To The Earth Below,” as if her vocals project both fragility and strength at the same moment.

Heidi Shepherd and Carla Harvey

We couldn’t separate the two ladies commanding Butcher Babies, so this slot goes out to both Heidi Shepherd and Carla Harvey as the double-trouble onslaught who have brought us “Monsters Ball” and “Magnolia Blvd.” If you’re looking for a nonstop, indulgent party with the possibility of a snapped neck or two, look no further than L.A.’s dirtiest metal export that have become a staple on everybody’s festival bucket list. This versatile pair have made thrash their own ever since their 2013 debut, Goliath, showed the metal scene what it had been so desperately lacking—two relentless ladies who know exactly how to have a good time.

Chelsea Wolfe

Surprisingly the only strictly solo appearance on this list, Chelsea Wolfe has made metal her very own since her arrival in 2010, draping a veil of folk-y atmosphere and gothic depth over seductive doom-metal undertones. Combining her boundary-smashing approach with a sadistically dark visual style, Chelsea Wolfe somewhat ironically injects life into doom by refusing to conform to the genre’s ’90s stereotypes. She wraps her smooth vocal swathes around the compelling melancholy of “Feral Love” and “16 Psyche,” as if redressing the world around her in her own image.

Tatiana Shmayluk

You’d be forgiven for thinking Ukrainian outfit Jinjer tell their lyrical tales through the voice of three separate individuals covering melodic cleans, ear-splitting screams and guttural snarls and somewhat effortlessly slipping between them. The single towering voice behind this band’s meteoric rise belongs to Tatiana Shmayluk, flexing her multi-talented chops on “Perennial” and “Sit Stay Roll Over” just to increase your vocal envy. We’re still not sure how she pulls off such smooth transitions between the polar opposite personas onstage, but we can’t seem to look away.

Floor Jansen

Taking on the mammoth task of fronting the pioneering outfit Nightwish in 2013, Floor Jansen donned her new role as if she was born for it. Jansen’s inimitable honeyed tones ushered in a new age for the symphonic-metal icons, weaving her slick melodic range through the band’s trademark cinematic instrumentals. The theatrical atmospheres tracked on “Élan” and “Noise” give Jansen the room to flex her operatic range while she narrates the vibrant, tall tales we know and love from Nightwish.

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xlostinobsessionsx · 4 years ago

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Good Girls are Bad Girls that haven't been Caught | Luke Patterson

Pairing: alive! 1995! Luke Patterson x fem! Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 4,038

A/N: A big thank you goes to @bass-ic-deaky for proof-reading and making this fic much more vibrant! 💖

This fic is based on "Good Girls" by 5 Seconds of Summer.

Masterlist

Luke and (Y/N) knew each other since they were kids. They had been neighbors since childhood, so it wasn’t uncommon for them to be playing with each other in their adjoining backyards most days. But time went by and slowly they got older. On his 8th birthday, Luke had gotten a guitar and quickly realised his dream of becoming a rock star. After meeting Alex Mercer and Reggie Peters in middle school, the dream slowly became reality. Sunset Curve was born. (Y/N), on the other hand, took on violin instead.

As time passed, they slowly began to grow apart. One would describe Luke’s style of music and dress as more rock n’ roll grunge. (Y/N), however, looked the total opposite, elegant, poised, which could also be heard through her playing throughout the neighborhood. (Y/N) listened to classical music and took ballet lessons while Luke continued his guitar lessons and went to ice hockey practice. It seemed like after all this time, the two had nothing in common anymore.

Now they were in high school and they barely knew the other existed anymore. The only times Luke saw (Y/N), even though they were still neighbours, was when they ran into each other in the hall or if they just so happened to leave for school at the same time, which these days was very rare. (Y/N) was quite the early riser, and was often already off on her way while Luke was still lying in bed half asleep. Though they had two classes together, they hardly spoke to each other. It was as if their friendship before this had meant nothing.

Sometimes Luke missed the old days. Back then, (Y/N) didn’t seem too different from him. He could still remember them sitting in his treehouse, sharing gummy bears and listening to an old Led Zeppelin album. Now all she ever seemed interested in was studying. But even despite their different paths, they talked to each other from time to time. Their parents, on the other hand, were still very close. Occasionally they met at one of their homes, cooked together, talked about their jobs and even more so about their kids. Luke had learned from his parents that (Y/N) planned to go to Harvard once they graduated. Of course, when they told him that, he couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. He knew his parents wished he had the same or at least similar plans for his life. But Sunset Curve was finally starting to take off. After they played their first gig at a small bar in L. A., more and more bars and clubs were willing to let them perform. Luke had loved rehearsals before, now they were even more fun, especially knowing that they’d get to perform their new songs in front of more people than just Bobby’s parents. Bobby became a part of the band when he moved to L. A. four years after they had formed. With Bobby’s arrival the band not only found a rhythm guitarist, but also a place to rehearse. Before that, they had to rehearse in Reggie’s basement, between boxes and useless junk. Then of course his parents constantly fighting upstairs didn’t make for the best working environment.

Whenever Luke fought with his parents and just needed space to clear his head, there was no better place for him than a small shed in Bobby’s backyard which they had affectionately dubbed their studio. The words from his parents still rang in his ears as he pulled out his bike, guitar case slung over his back.

“Why can’t you be more like (Y/N)?! She has good grades and a bright future at Harvard!” His mother had wailed.

“Being a rockstar is not a realistic goal, it won’t bring you any money or stability.” His father tried to convince him.

Every time it was always the same. Luke jumped onto his bike and made his way through the backyard towards the gate, when he stopped in his tracks. In the corner of his eyes he could make out a dark figure, running through the yard next to his. At the end of the driveway, he could make out the lights of a car, shining through the trees and the figure running towards it. When the figure finally came into the light, Luke could finally see who it was. She turned around, taking one last look at the house behind her before she opened the car door and got in before promptly speeding off into the darkness. Who did (Y/N) just leave with?

Luke was tired the next morning. Despite spending the night in the studio, far away from the trouble with his parents, the young guitarist hadn’t slept a wink. His mind was racing with thoughts of (Y/N) and the mysterious person she had left with. During their lunch break at school, he told his band members of the encounter. “Wait, you mean to tell us that (Y/N), the definition of the perfect daughter, snuck out?” Bobby asked in disbelief.

Luke nodded. “Yep, got into a car with someone. Can’t say for certain who it was.” The eyes of the four guys wandered to said girl, who was sitting with her friends at a table not far away from their own.

“I’ll dip into the school gossip and see what I can find out. I’ll deliver the goods.” Alex smirked. And deliver he did at their band practice later that day. “So you know Tori, the girl who sits next to me in chem class and never shuts up? She told me that she heard from one of her friends, who was told by one of his friends that (Y/N) was spotted with Brandon Jones in the back of the library.”

“Brandon Jones?” Luke asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alex nodded “Yeah, the captain of the football team who always drives a really expensive car.”

“How do they even know each other? Isn’t he usually on the brink of suspension?” Reggie asked curiously to which Alex shrugged.

“Well, well, well, seems like your little (Y/N) likes bad boys, Luke.” Bobby laughed, while throwing an arm around Luke’s shoulders.

Luke quickly shrugged it off with a grimace. “She’s not my (Y/N).” He snapped. “It just surprises me that she sneaks out to meet him. That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you know her so well after barely talking to her for years and only making eyes at her from afar.” Bobby countered.

“I’m not making eyes at her!” The guitarist defended himself much too quickly to be believable. Back in the day when he still was friends with (Y/N), he may have had the tiniest of crushes on her. Luke had to admit that (Y/N) was indeed very beautiful, but he most certainly wasn’t making eyes at her as Bobby had suggested.

A few days passed. Luke sped through the house looking for his jacket so he could get going to band practice, which he was already running late for. “Mom, Dad. I’m going to Bobby’s” He shouted through the house, hoping his parents had heard him. Finally finding his jacket under his bed, he shrugged it on as he made his way through the kitchen.

He was about to open the back door, when his mom appeared behind him. “Don’t you have a french test to study for? (Y/N)’s father told me about it.” Emily looked expectantly at her son, arms crossed over her chest.

Luke rolled his eyes and turned around. “Yeah, that’s why I’m going to Bobby’s. We’re gonna study together.” He lied convincingly.

Emily nodded slowly, a bit skeptical. “(Y/N) studies every night alone and gets good grades. Maybe if you would just concentrate more, you could study alone, too.” Emily suggested. Luke laughed silently. (Y/N) studying every night? That was rich, if only her parents really knew their daughter.

Luke mentally shook his head out. “Sure, but Bobby is better in french than I am. So he can help me. Work smarter not harder, isn’t that what they say?” He shrugged.

Emily looked at him thoughtfully. “You could study with (Y/N). She’s nearly fluent in French now.”

Luke nodded, a slight laugh escaping his lips as he opened the door. “I’ll think about it, alright? Now I really have to go!” He quickly said and made his way outside, slamming the door behind him. He couldn’t be late, after all Sunset Curve was playing another gig tonight. Luke took his bike from its spot against the fence and made his way towards the gate to the front yard when he suddenly saw a figure out of the corner of his eye again. Her hair was flowing in the wind as she quickly made her way through the darkened yard only this time instead of just watching, Luke went after her. Before (Y/N) could reach the car that was waiting for her behind the trees, Luke touched her shoulder. Startled, she let out a yelp of surprise as she spun around. “(Y/N)?”

“L-Luke...hey.” She laughed nervously.

“What are you doing out here?” He asked her confused, he was half expecting her to be up in her room studying like the perfect little princess she was.

(Y/N) clasped at his wrist and pulled him behind the trees, out of the sight of her house. “Don’t you dare tell my parents about this!” She hissed at the guitarist through gritted teeth.

Luke laughed. “What? That their little princess is sneaking out?”

“I’m not a princess!” She angrily countered.

Luke shook his head “Nah, you’re right, you’re clearly the living definition of a goody-two-shoes. Such a good girl, eager to please.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes “You clearly forget everything you thought about good girls.”

Luke furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly a voice interrupted both of them “(Y/N) you’re coming?” Brandon Jones, cool as ever with a cigarette poised elegantly between his lips, sat in the car beside them, looking with raised eyebrows at the girl in front of Luke.

(Y/N)’s gaze wandered between the two boys “I gotta go.” She murmured as she opened the car door. But before getting inside she paused and turned to Luke again. “Good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught.” She winked as she got into the car immediately rolling down the window. “Now be a good boy and just turn around and forget about this encounter, alright?”. With that, she sped off leaving the guitarist standing there dumbfounded. Luke shook his head in disbelief, what had just happened?

When he arrived at Bobby’s, (Y/N) words were still running laps through Luke’s head. He was quick to tell the rhythm guitarist about the encounter. “‘Good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught’.” Bobby murmured.

Luke nodded. “That’s what she said. Sounds pretty rad don’t you think?” He looked at the other guitarist who nodded in agreement. “Yeah...” Suddenly it was extremely and rather awkwardly quiet. “Do you think that they-” Luke started.

“Are seeing each other?” Bobby finished his friend’s question, the lead guitarist nodding in confirmation. “Would it matter?”

Luke shrugged. “I mean, I just don’t want her to see her being pressured into something she doesn’t want to.”

Bobby laughed quietly. “OR you just don’t want her doing anything with Brandon.”

“Okay, I am definitely not jealous!” Luke countered, shaking his head.

“I never said you were, but now that you mention it…”

“Oh shut up...besides I’ve barely spoken to her in years!”

“But people don’t really change that much!” Bobby countered.

Luke huffed dramatically. “Well she did!”

“I don’t know about that, bro. Sneaking out? Doesn’t really sound like the (Y/N) we know from school.” He paused a moment. “The (Y/N) you knew when you were younger, the one you’ve told me about, that’s her down to the letter.” He shrugged as rose from his spot. “But enough about this. We’ve gotta go pick up Alex and Reggie. Otherwise we’re going to be late!” Luke quickly nodded, grabbing his guitar before following Bobby outside.

The club was completely packed with people. Luke could hear the audience’s chattering from backstage. “This is so cool!” Reggie excitedly said after taking a look through the club. “There are so many people here from school, too!”

Luke took a deep breath. Adrenaline was starting to course through his veins. He could practically hear his heart beating in his chest as the band made their way onto the stage. He blinked a few times as he tried to get used to the spotlights. His gaze drifted down through the crowd in front of them as they quickly set themselves up. Suddenly he stopped. At the back, right next to the bar, there she was standing. Their eyes met and a small smile played around her lips. Luke laughed to himself quietly before taking a step closer to the mic. “We’re Sunset Curve!”

After their gig, Luke made his way through the crowd. Everytime someone patted his shoulder to tell him how good they were, she nodded thankfully but his eyes always stayed fixated on (Y/N). When he finally stood in front of her a giggle left her lips “Good show, Patterson.”

He smirked, leaning against the bar. “Thanks.”

“Just like we imagined when we were kids.” She slightly bumped against his shoulder.

The guitarist felt his heart beat faster at this. Nervously he rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess.”

“So that’s what you’ve been up to all this time...?” She quietly asked, her gaze drifting through the crowd. Luke nodded in reply. “And soon you’re gonna be famous!” She smiled suddenly much more excited.

Luke laughed “I think that’s still a long way off. What about you? What’ve you been up to?” He asked her curiously.

“Oh, you know violin and ballet lessons, the usual. I haven’t told my parents yet that I’m sick of it!” She nonchalantly took a sip from her coke and looked at him.

Luke furrowed his brows, he was genuinely confused. “I thought that’s what you liked? I mean you got your violin around the same time I got my guitar.”

(Y/N) shook her head “I practically begged my parents to get me an electric bass so we could form a band but they got me a violin. Said it would be better for me.”

Luke was surprised at those words. “A band?” He saw (Y/N)’s cheeks taking on a pink shade.

She shrugged. “Like Led Zeppelin.” Suddenly ‘Whole Lotta Love’ started to blast through the speakers of the club. (Y/N) laughed “That’s creepy. Like they’ve been listening to us talk about it.”

But Luke barely listened to her. Instead he had been transported back to 1987. He had just found the old Led Zeppelin EP in one of his dad’s boxes he kept into the attic. He had immediately called (Y/N) to meet him in the treehouse. They had been listening to the songs when suddenly (Y/N) had told him about her best female friend (Y/F/N), who had told her that she had kissed Fynn, a boy from their class. “Like a real kiss? On their lips?” Luke had asked with wide eyes. He, of course, had asked her if she ever had kissed a boy on the lips. (Y/N) had admitted that she had never. In her childish recklessness, or could it be her boldness, she had told him that he was the only one who she would have wanted to kiss. Luke remembered how nervous he had been, when (Y/N) had leaned in, ‘Whole Lotta Love’ playing in the background when their lips touched but for a short second.

Luke looked wide-eyed at the girl in front of him, who didn’t know the memory that was playing in his head at the moment. His gaze fell from her eyes to her lips. Maybe Bobby had been right. Maybe (Y/N) hadn’t really changed that much and maybe he still had those feelings he had for her when he was smaller. He quickly shook his head. He couldn’t have those thoughts. (Y/N) was here with someone else. “So where’s your shadow?” He asked, referring to Brandon. He turned to the bar to order a coke.

She sighed “Having a smoke.”

“Already missing him?” He laughed.

(Y/N) huffed, slightly annoyed. “Yeah, sure.”

“I thought you were a thing?” Luke asked, turning to her again.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows “Who told you that?”

“Nobody. I just thought because you always sneak out to meet him and because you’re here together…?” He shrugged.

(Y/N) laughed. “No, I mean it’s fun to hang out but I would never...I mean...he’s a player and only plays with girls.”

Luke looked at her amused. “So you’re just hanging out with him for the sake of hanging out?” (Y/N) nodded.

“I was just tired of everything. Of my life. It seemed like a good escape, you know? But now...it’s really hard to make it clear to him that nothing will ever happen.”

“Just be careful, alright? I don’t think he’ll let you get off the hook so easy.”

(Y/N) shook her head “Soon he’ll get tired of me and look for someone else.”

“And what about you then?”

(Y/N) took a deep breath and turned to him, something obviously weighing heavily on her mind. “Luke, I-” She started, but before she could finish her sentence they were interrupted as an arm found his way around (Y/N) shoulder.

“I’m back.” Brandon smirked, eying Luke suspiciously.

“Hey Brandon.” Luke smirked, annoyance evident in his gaze, before turning to (Y/N) again. “It was nice catching up, (Y/N). See ya around.” With that he made his way through the crowd, trying to stop himself from thinking about (Y/N).

Days passed. Once again, Luke barely saw (Y/N) apart from their classes. He was sitting in his room, writing down the lyrics to a song that had been stuck in his mind for days, when suddenly the doorbell rang. He ran down the hall of the family’s ranch style home and was met with her beautiful eyes, when he opened the door. “(Y/N)! So good to see you!” Emily greeted with a big smile, appearing behind Luke. “Come on in.” Luke stepped aside to let the girl inside. With a questioning glance, he looked to his mother. “I called (Y/N)’s parents to ask if she could help you in french. I think that would be better than having to go all the way to Bobby’s, right?”

Luke nodded slowly “Uhm, yeah. Sounds good. Uhm, we could go into my room?” He suggested, looking at Emily.

His mother nodded “Yes, but leave the door open. I’ll bring you some snacks.”

Luke nodded in agreement and turned to (Y/N). “Shall we?” (Y/N) nodded in reply and followed him down the hall to his bedroom. “Take a seat, I guess.” He pointed to the chair in front of his desk as he took a seat on the bed. “What are you doing here?”

“Helping you in french.” She laughed.

Luke nodded slowly, a sly, teasing smirk appearing on his face. “And, uh, is Brandon alright with you hanging out with me?”

“Who cares?” (Y/N) rolled her eyes at the mention of his name. “Right after your concert I told him I couldn’t see him anymore.”

Luke furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“As I already told you, at first it was just an escape but...he wanted to do more the entire time and I just didn’t want to...at least not with him.” She laughed.

Luke looked at her, a playful glint in his eye. “Not with him, huh? So someone else has caught your eye then?” he laughed.

(Y/N) shrugged, casting her glance downward. “Maybe. But that won’t happen, so…”

“Why not?”

(Y/N) sighed, nervously keeping her gaze trained to the ground, before looking up at him again. “Luke...you see...I know we haven’t had that much contact over the last few years, but...I wish it was different and I’m sorry. I thought...well I had hoped...“ She paused, inhaling deeply. “Maybe we could start over? Being friends again?” She asked, hope evident in her voice.

Suddenly Luke felt his heartbeat just a tiny bit faster. “Friends?” He croaked, before clearing his throat. “You mean like back in the day?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Yeah, and uhm maybe…” She nervously played with the necklace around her neck. Luke’s eyes drifted to the pendant. It was the necklace he had given her when she had turned seven. Inside it he had put a picture of the both of them. (Y/N) eyes softened when she saw what Luke was looking at. She took the chain from around her neck and slowly took his hand, placing it in his palm. She looked expectantly at it before looking up at him. Luke opened it and found himself looking at his and (Y/N)’s younger selves. In the picture he had his arm slung around her shoulders. Both of them were smiling brightly.

Luke sighed as he smiled at the memory of that day. “I had a little crush on you back then.” He admitted quietly, staring at the toothy grin of her younger version.

“You did?” (Y/N) asked.

He nodded, his eyes never leaving the picture. “I was so sad when we stopped talking, but it...it had just happened, right?”

“I wish it hadn’t...I uh...I had a crush on you, too.” she murmured.

Luke laughed quietly, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. “So if we want to go back to how it was then…”

“You would have a crush on me?” (Y/N) smiled hopefully.

Luke shrugged. “Maybe I still do.” He felt his cheeks heating up as (Y/N) clasped at his hands.

“Maybe I still have a crush on you, too.”

Luke’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. His eyes met (Y/N)’s and he couldn’t stop his smile from growing wider if that was even possible. “Just maybe?” He asked cheekily, as he slowly leaned in closer.

“Alright, so definitely.” (Y/N) giggled as their lips connected in a tender kiss.

“Please, you have to come!” Luke whispered into the phone in the kitchen where the landline was. It was already dark inside the house, his parents already having turned in for the night.

“Okay, fine. But you tell my parents that you have a good influence on me the next time they see us.” She laughed through the speaker, before hanging up.

They met behind the trees at the back of their yards. He leaned in to greet her with a short kiss. “I missed you.” He murmured, hiding his face into her neck.

“We just saw each other a few hours ago.” (Y/N) laughed.

“That’s so long ago!” He countered as Luke got onto his bike and looked expectantly at (Y/N), who stood on the tire spokes behind him. “Hold on tight!”

The venue was filled with people dancing and chattering. (Y/N) followed Luke to the side of the stage. “Stay here so you’ll have a good view of the stage and that way I can see you, too.” He said, looking at her with a wide smile.

“Knock ‘Em dead, rockstar!” She beamed at him, leaning in to give him a good-luck kiss.

“Alright, enough of that lovebirds. We gotta go!” Bobby laughed, interrupting the cute moment pushing Luke toward the stage.

Reggie smiled at them. “Look at all the people! It’s gonna be sick!”

Alex shrugged nervously. “I hope they like us...”

(Y/N) smiled at the other band members “You’re gonna rock this, I’m sure of it!” She hugged them and wished them good luck, before the band went onto the stage.

Luke’s gaze immediately fell to his girlfriend, who gave him a thumbs-up. He winked at her before getting closer to the mic. “Hey, we’re Sunset Curve, thank you for having us.” The crowd erupted in cheers. “Thank you.” He laughed “We directly wanna start with a new song. It’s inspired by a person who means the world to me.” His gaze fell to (Y/N) again, who was smiling at him. “It’s called Good Girls/Bad Girls.”

“She said to me forget what you’ve thought, cause good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught.”

#luke patterson #charlie gillespie #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #luke patterson oneshot #luke patterson x fem!reader #jatp #julie and the phantoms #sunset curve

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theauthorlives · 2 years ago

Note

“ Happy birthday, Yancy. ” He had to thank some of the others for making sure he knew the date, he would have felt terrible if he’d missed out on celebrating it with him. Smuggling in a little something special for his cellmate had taken some finagling, but it had been more than worth it.

“ I’m glad I’m still here to celebrate your special day. ” He pulls the small white box out from behind his back and presents it to Yancy. Inside is a small tiramisu cake, it’s layers clear and even and beautiful. There was no candle, Murderslaughter had insisted, but he’d been able to write a cheery message on the top of the box.

And to accompany it, Illinois also had his guitar, in order to deliver the most dulcet and delightful of happy birthday songs that Yancy might ever receive.

@pleasuretomeetme

Yancy not telling Jones about his birthday was not done out of badness. Truthfully, it never crossed his mind. Hearing his cellmate say those words caught him off-guard, but he should have known better. Jones was a very clever guy. Few mysteries went unnoticed, almost like he was good at picking out the clues for things.

But that isn't important. Right now, there's a wide grin. "As am I. Makes the day a lot better knowing youse is still here. Maybe we could use the rec time to look for that one - game...?" The idea died on his tongue as he cautiously accepts the white box. It's too pristine to be anything bought in prison, and he was almost sure he didn't see Jones with this when they first met. No, this was too pretty to be something like that. That only meant it was a present of some sort, and that encouraged him to pry open the lid without damaging the box.

"Jones, this...How the fuck did you manage this?" Was this following their conversation on desserts that one time? Or was this something normal people like Jones did to mark a birthday? But there was a note attached, one that made him snort. At least that explained why Jones hadn't signed the group card. But that brought back up the mystery: "Didn't think the Warden's one to let someone get outside food sent in. Dunno how youse managed to sweet-talk him, but... Thanks. But you do knows youse is getting some of this too, right? I'm no flavour expert!"

Once more, the plan to make a joke about Jones being the taste expert was brought to a halt as Jones' guitar accompany the singing that would likely be sweeter than the dessert Yancy was holding and more than enough to make the greaser's cheeks heat up with a flustered smile.

#(all this and he's STILL clueless to the truth. My boy is an IDIOT)#food tw #pleasuretomeetme #(scheduled post)#(ohhhh he's so thoughtfuuuul ;A; )

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thislovintime · 1 year ago

Photo

On the set of Head, 1968.

“‘What stood out for me with Davy as an artist was his spontaneous stagecraft,’ Tork recalls. ‘He enjoyed himself on stage, for sure, gloried in his part. He was so alert as an entertainer and so relaxed that things would come to him out of the blue and he would just go with them. He could be incredibly funny. Micky and I were always breaking up on stage. [...] I’m so sorry he’s gone. I’m going to miss that wit and heart.’” - Billboard, March 1, 2012

“Genuine, reliable and huggable, Peter is a natural person — really gets off on talent — loves other musicians and can jam along with the best of ‘em. I saw him holding his own with Hendrix, Stills, Young. He encouraged me no end. Bought me my first guitar and my first drum kit. […] Never really got into fashions — he had his own. The first guy I ever met who wore different-colored socks. Wore his belt buckle on the side. Hated boots. Always had on sandals or moccasins. He used to walk with a swagger, swinging his arms with a confident air. He calmed hysteria, and lifted depression. ‘Dried banana, anybody? Piece of orange?’ — smiling, waving, running his hand through his hair. He knew all the crew by their first names. Kids crying at his feet he lifted and hugged like a father calming a child. Health food was just starting to catch on in the sixties and Peter was kind of a forerunner of that whole scene. I’m afraid that sort of image was a little thin for two other guys I could mention, but I understood — I really did. And I think he knew it. […] He’s the most musically talented of us all by a mile. His songs are real. ‘For Pete’s Sake’ — which replaced the Monkees Theme at the end of the some of the shows of the second season — is one of my all-time favorite songs by anybody. I’ve joked a lot about Peter giving everything away. But it was true. He was always giving his spare room to someone who needed it for the night — anyone. And he always seemed far away somewhere — in a different space. But I’m glad I know him. Of all the things he gave, he gave me lots of laughs — and food for thought.” - Davy Jones

“[Micky] and Mike and I have a very cordial relationship and share a lot of common topics. We go to lunch together when we’re all in town and have a good time. I love and respect each of these guys in their own way, although the real joys that I shared with Davy were special. At one point we had some good hard connections but as the years rolled on, those things faded away. But I am sorry to see Davy go. He was the one member in the group that I had the strongest human connection with. I still have two guys that I love and respect left from the band, but we share a different dynamic.” - Peter Tork, Review Mag, May 27, 2016

"I only now have, in the last couple of years, come to understand how smart and good-hearted Davy Jones could be. I did not have the skills to notice that, even though I was drawn to it without knowing exactly why. But I certainly did not have the first clue of how to encourage all of the good stuff from Davy that I loved. I wish I could have known how to do it - and he might still be with us, even.” - Las Vegas Weekly, September 14, 2016 (x)

“Well, I’ve never been really close with Michael [Nesmith] for some reason. You know, I have a lot of respect for him and admiration. But somehow we’ve never integrated. We’ve never been warm with each other. We worked together and did pretty well at it really.” - Peter Tork, Clevescene, March 13, 2017

Q: “I’m curious about the various reunions that happened over the years. Is it safe to say that you guys were never really friends?” Peter Tork: “Oh, I don’t know. I would say I was pretty good friends with Micky, and there was a lot of love between me and Davy. I have a lot of respect for Mike Nesmith and we’ve structured ways to work together. Things rotate. It’s like having a basketball team. You know, gosh, it’s like having a championship basketball team. They go on the road every so often and do tours, you know, just exhibition tours but fortunately your music skills don’t deteriorate as fast as your basketball skills do, but I wouldn’t know what else to compare it to. We had a chance to go out together and we took it, and we had a great time, and if we were not friends at all we would not have been able to do it. We played tours months and months long: ‘86, ‘87, ‘89, ‘91, ‘92, ‘96, ‘97, 2001, 2002 and 2011, so we couldn’t have been such enemies.” - Phawker, circa 2012; re-published 2019

And a throwback to Michael's 1972 Hit Parader comments about Peter in an older post.

#Peter Tork #Davy Jones #Micky Dolenz #Michael Nesmith #Tork quotes #The Monkees #Monkees #Peter and Davy #Peter and Micky #Peter and Michael #long read #Head (1968)#Billboard Magazine #Clevescene #Las Vegas Weekly #Phawker #can you queue it

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sofwrites · 3 years ago

Text

He laughed, she shrieked; She yearned, he loved

Polin Week Day 2: Polin Songs

Type: Songfic that goes through Colin and Penelope's POVs from their first meeting to the end of RMB

Length: 4.7k

Read on ao3 or continue under the cut

“But something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent” - London Boy, Taylor Swift

Penelope Featherington’s life split into a new half on the sixth day of the fourth month of the year 1812.

It began like any other day when rare sunshine followed a week of springtime rain- the Featherington had been enjoying a walk in the park, and the matriarch had become too preoccupied to notice the exact whereabouts of her third daughter.

Which was why when Penelope felt the rumbling underneath her feet and heard the nearby stampeding, she had no trouble walking off to inspect for its source.

Was it possible that there were bandits in Hyde Park, she wondered. That scouring marauders had come to their little corner of the world?

Though equally horrifying, the idea filled young Penelope with giddy excitement as she ducked behind a large tree.

But when she peeked around the trunk, there were no bandits, no marauders, no ravagers, scoundrels, or miscreants.

No, there was none of that. Instead, there were two young men galloping on horses.

Until there was only one.

It seemed that the breeze had picked up and along with it, the girl’s bonnet (she’d secretly unsecured it while her mother wasn’t watching- a habit she would very soon retire). And before she realized what had happened, one of the gentlemen had fallen directly into a patch of mud.

And as Penelope watched, her heart leaped, then dropped, and then froze in her chest- because it was her fault that he had fallen in. And with wide, terrified eyes, she rushed forward to help.

“OhmyHeavens! Are you alright? Do you need me to get someone for you?” She was speaking far too quickly, she was sure of that, and her voice was definitely quite a few octaves too high for ordinary human communication. But she didn’t care about any of it in the current moment.

Though he was certainly awake, the man didn’t reply immediately, and Penelope felt her panic grow as her hands began to shake. There was no doubt that this stranger would grant her with anything less than contempt. And as he rose, she prepared herself, promising that she would not cry even if he roared the greatest criticism.

But she need not have worried herself - for Penelope had met a man who was exceptional to all the rest. One who would make sure that no other man could ever compare.

All her perfect gentleman did was laugh, and it was the loveliest sound that she had ever heard. And then he looked at her, and his eyes, the most vivid shade of green she had ever bore witness to, were filled with nothing but good humor.

And then he smiled at her. And nothing would ever be the same for Penelope Featherington, for she had fallen in love.

“Be young, be foolish, but be happy

Don’t let the rain get you down, it’s a waste of time” - Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy, The Tams

It all happened in a blur really. One minute, Colin was riding horseback alongside a friend, enjoying a cheerful sunny afternoon.

And the next, some flying object attacked him and caused him to tumble over and land squarely into a puddle of mud.

Then there was shrieking. Some high-pitched, panicky shrieking that quickly became more painful than the tender spot on his bum.

Pulling away his assailant (which appeared to be a bonnet), Colin was met with a girl whose expression matched the hysteria of her voice. She looked young- a bit less than him- likely around Eloise or Francesca’s age. And she looked…

Well, frankly, she looked bloody terrified.

Terrified. Terrified that he was going to scream or curse or do something even more unpleasant to her.

But even if it was her bonnet that was to blame, it hardly mattered. She couldn’t have possibly planned for her headwear to get whisked off of her head and directly onto his face. And judging by the giant brown eyes and quivering lip turned towards him, she surely felt guilty about it now.

And besides that, the whole situation was rather funny. Even if he was covered in mud, Colin Bridgerton always appreciated an amusing turn of events. There was no use fretting over such little things, not when one could find the humor in it.

So, he did the one thing he knew how to do: he laughed, just in the way his father used to do. His father, who told him that laughter could solve most anything. Colin had found that although it might not have solved everything, it was quite a useful little trick.

But he was proven correct that day when the girl’s horrified expression melted into one of pure relief.

Until she began hurriedly apologizing to him, and her widened eyes went from concerning to amusing. So amusing, in fact, that he smiled at her.

And Colin Bridgerton had no idea what he’d just done.

“I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar” - Teardrops On My Guitar, Taylor Swift

If what Penelope felt when she first met Colin was love, then the year following had to embody some form of deep, deep admiration. He was more than just a fine sport and a good first impression- he was simply the nicest man she had ever met. And he grew lovelier with each passing meeting.

He looked at her and smiled, he spoke to her and listened - he was simply kind to her in a way that few people ever were. And her heart fluttered every time she gazed into those dazzling green eyes.

It made her first season, just a little over a year after their ill-fated meeting, rather unbearable. Not only had Penelope’s mother pushed her into coming out in society earlier than she would have liked, but everything seemed to be wrong. In an unfortunate circumstance, she hadn’t yet entered the realm of womanhood, and the reaction of the ton directly reflected such.

But although no bachelors had eyes for Penelope (not to her great surprise), she only truly cared about one.

And that was the reason that over the course of the season, Penelope’s heart broke more times than she would have ever cared to admit.

She knew whenever he was in the room, could feel his presence in the air. She could hear his voice even when it didn’t carry, simply because she had spent so much time engraining it into her memory.

And she often watched him as he accompanied other, more eligible ladies to the dance floor- watched how he laughed and smiled at them just as he did to her. The same way he did to her.

And even though he usually made sure to save her a dance as well, and they were often the greatest highlight of the evening for Penelope, the sting lasted well into the night. She pictured him with the other girls, the ones who were prettier and more popular and less shy than she was. Than she ever could be.

And sometimes, when she was alone and the day had been more difficult than usual, Penelope cried more tears than she could have ever counted.

“I just want to live while I’m alive

(It’s my life)

My heart is like an open highway” - It’s My Life, Bon Jovi

Colin didn’t enjoy balls.

The conversations were dull, the entertainment was lacking, and every dance he offered was met with some maddening assumption that he had plans to marry.

He was still so young for God’s sake, still had so much life to live before surrendering to the shackles of the marriage mart. He knew that it was just a matter of time before he was the oldest unattached Bridgerton, but he had no plans of hurrying. He simply wasn’t ready yet, and he didn’t see any problem with that.

His family, however, certainly did.

“Please, do remember to dance with Miss Merriweather.”

“Yes, mother.”

“And Miss Kensington.”

“Of course.”

“And Miss Jones.”

“ Right .”

“And best not to forget Miss Featherington as well.”

He looked at his mother, his signature half-smile plastered to his face. “Would that even be possible? I’m quite sure that you’ve stuffed the list into my pocket.”

Violet gave him an indulgent look, one that was more familiar than he would have liked. “It’s possible that I left it in your morning coat.” She smiled before her face grew a bit more serious and her voice softened. “Please, Colin, don’t forget. Especially not Miss Featherington.”

And Colin nodded, immediately making his way to the girl standing by the refreshments table because that was what he did.

He appeased his mother, wore a happy face, and left as soon as he was able.

“Mr. Never had to see me cry

Mr. Insincere apology so he doesn’t look like the bad guy” - Mr. Perfectly Fine, Taylor Swift

The worst moment of Penelope’s life happened in the middle of the sixth month of the year 1817.

He hadn’t meant to her to hear him, she knew that. And she knew that she didn’t deserve to feel angry with him, didn’t deserve to feel like he had purposefully trampled over her heart with no regard for her or her feelings.

But Penelope was just a human, and humans didn’t always react to situations with rationality.

So when Colin apologized for the second time (since the first was really more for shock than regret), Penelope wasn’t quite as forgiving inside as she was on the surface.

She didn’t blame him, per se, but the cut was just still too fresh to let go of the hurt. And when Colin approached her at the next ball, she wasn’t quite as... friendly as usual.

It was when she was staring at his hand, outstretched and waiting like everything was absolutely normal. Like there was nothing, simply nothing wrong between them. And then he gave her that same smile he always did, the one that she normally loved, but felt much more smug than charming that evening.

“Of course, Mr. Bridgerton ,” she answered, making a failed attempt to sound pleasant.

He was doing it to appease his mother, she was more than aware of the fact. Or just to absolve himself of his guilt. Perhaps that was why it hurt so much.

Or perhaps it was the simple fact that she’d loved and dreamed about him for years, meanwhile, he’d been announcing to the world that he was certainly not going to marry her.

And though it might not have been fair, Penelope’s heart wouldn’t allow herself to move forward quite yet.

“And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.” - Somebody that I used to know, Gotye

It had been a mistake. A stupid mistake that Colin hadn’t even known he was making until it had already been too late.

His brothers had been at him, knowing exactly what to say to push him to the edge. He didn’t want to discuss marriage or settling down, he just wanted to go away. Find something that was his and only his.

How could he have known that she’d been standing right there? How could he have known that the cruelest thing he’d ever said would blow up so magnificently in his face?

It wasn’t fair, not to him and certainly- definitely not to her.

Colin wasn’t in the business of hurting other people, especially not ones who were as kind and decent as Penelope Featherington.

He knew that laughter wouldn’t work this time. So, instead, he apologized. A true, sincere apology that Penelope accepted.

Or so she pretended to accept. Because although she claimed that she was fine and that there was nothing wrong, there was definitely something off. And it was bloody irritating.

Colin didn’t need Penelope’s friendship, if that’s what one would call their dynamic, but he didn’t want the girl to hate him or possibly worse- like a stranger.

He was Colin, and he just wanted to be as well-liked as he usually was. So, he did what he could to force pleasantries, to make sure that they got back to where they’d always been.

Until it ended up working a bit too well.

“You’re so gorgeous,

I can’t say anything to your face

‘Cause look at your face” - Gorgeous, Taylor Swift

It had taken Penelope Featherington just about a year to fully forgive Colin Bridgerton. He was the same Colin he always was- funny and charismatic, easily the kindest man she had ever known. And it was easy to fall back into old habits- easy to fall back under his spell.

How could she not? When he smiled at her with that same smile, when he looked at her with those same hypnotic eyes and gorgeous face? Her heart had no chance against him.

Falling in love with Colin was easy- too easy- almost like breathing.

It was the being in love with Colin that tore her apart.

“Ooh, and I wished that you would hurt me harder than I hurt you

Ooh, and I wish you wouldn't wait for me, but you always do” - Let Me Go, Alesso & Hailee Steinfield

It had taken Colin Bridgerton years to admit that Penelope Featherington viewed him as more than just a friendly acquaintance. As more than a friend. As more than anything he felt comfortable with.

And then he thought that it would go away. That it was a young girl’s infatuation that would dissolve with time. He especially never saw it coming after how much he’d hurt her.

But after he’d noticed, he’d really noticed.

Penelope’s eyes had hearts in them. Huge hearts that lit up her entire face and made him feel like the biggest ass on the planet.

He kept leaving, sometimes for entire years. And every time he returned and saw her, he thought that it might be over. That she might have found someone new to set her sights on. That a different man would swoop in and take her affections.

No one ever did, however. And Colin began to worry that he was at fault for it. That Penelope had spent so long waiting for him that she simply refused to allow herself to be carried away by anyone else.

But he pushed that worry away.

Perhaps he’d imagined it- the way she looked at him. He’d known her since before she was even of age and he’d never seen anything different in her. Perhaps that was just how Penelope was to everyone.

(It wasn’t, and deep inside he knew that.)

“I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve

Takes one to know one

You’re a cowboy like me” - Cowboy Like Me, Taylor Swift

She had no idea. Penelope had no idea that she could have possibly ever had something in common with Colin.

Colin. Colin. The one who was popular, and gorgeous, and had a way of easing everyone around him. The one who was very much the complete opposite of her.

Except that he wasn’t. Because he was a writer, just like she was. And he had his secrets, and his insecurities, just like she did.

She almost told him. Truly and really considered it as she sat across him in the drawing room of Number Five. She saw how his eyes lit up when she spoke of his writing- saw the secret passion in his work that he tried to hide. It was the same passion she felt, something of herself that she recognized in Colin of all people. It was absurd to see someone else understand what she felt. Absurd and shocking and thrilling.

So, she almost told him, almost let herself join them together in their secrets.

Almost.

Something stopped her. Whether it was the decade-long practice of hiding or a fear of rejection, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she and Colin were more in the same than she could have ever realized, and he had no idea.

“I might get to too much talking

I might have to tell you something

Damn, I like me better when I'm with you” - I Like Me Better, Lauv

He didn’t know when it had happened. Exactly what change in him (or her) had led to it. But there just came a point when Colin realized that Penelope was the one who he wanted in life- the one who he wanted by his side.

Maybe it was that very first night at his mother’s party- right when half of her pastry cream splattered onto the floor. Maybe it was when he caught her reading his journals and then she lectured him on the privilege in his life. Maybe it was when she had asked him to kiss her- and he realized that he never wanted to taste anyone else’s lips ever again.

Colin didn’t know when, or what, or how. But he knew that he never wanted to stop talking to her. That he never felt more like himself than when he was with Penelope. That he had never felt the need to mask himself from her, and that she accepted him as he was each time.

He liked Penelope. Cared for her in a way he’d never cared for anyone before. And he liked himself when he was with her, even the parts that were whinging and temperamental and insecure.

And he finally knew what he needed in his life. Who he needed.

He needed Penelope.

“My reputation’s never been worse, so

You must like me for me” - Delicate, Taylor Swift

Are you going to marry me or not?

The words were still running in her mind well into the night. The same question, over and over and over again.

The morning had been ludicrous.

Colin had followed her into the church.

Colin had found out that she was Lady Whistledown.

Colin had been furious with her.

Colin had kissed her in the carriage.

Penelope had kissed him back.

Colin had asked her to marry him (in a matter of words).

Penelope had said yes (in a matter of words).

Colin and Penelope had gotten engaged to be married.

And to be quite honest, she didn’t know what exactly had changed. She had no idea why or when he had become so adamant about being with her. He had followed her, and in that had found out her great big secret- the one that was both the very best and the very worst of her.

He hadn’t been happy about it, she knew that, but something had switched in him.

And even though he didn’t like her secret, he still liked her, still cherished her in the way that she’d always yearned for.

So, she said yes.

“Please, don't look at me with those eyes

Please, don't hint that you’re capable of lies” - First Date, Blink-182

It hurt. It hurt Colin so very much.

At some point, Penelope had become Colin’s world. And at the same time, she’d been given the power to break him in a way that no one else could.

If finding out that Penelope held secrets the first time was a betrayal, then finding out that she held secrets from him after they’d become betrothed was like a stab to the heart.

She hadn’t meant for it to happen at their engagement ball, of course not. But it still had. And she hadn’t warned him, hadn’t discussed it with him.

He wasn’t sure what he was the angriest about- her hidden truths, her carelessness, her stubbornness to be right, damn it all.

The way she didn’t trust him as much as he seemed to trust her.

He was furious. And hurt. And deceived.

And yet-

“I, I loved you in spite of

Deep fears that the world would divide us” - Dancing with Our Hands Tied, Taylor Swift

He loved her. He loved her for all of her faults and all of her virtues. He loved her even despite how much he couldn’t stand her at that present moment.

He was scared to death for what could happen to her- what would happen to her. He realized that Penelope- that love was more important than the rest of it all. Than the rest of the world.

And he didn’t hesitate to tell her- not even for a moment.

Penelope loved him in return. She’d loved him for years- or so she thought. She didn’t know what had truly been love and what had been infatuation- a dream about the man she’d built up in her head. But it was certainly real love now.

The man in front of her was not perfect, was not without his gripes and flaws. And that was somehow better than perfect.

Because he was real. Because he loved her just as much as she loved him.

Because it was them. Together. Standing side-by-side against the world.

“When I was down

I was your clown

“Right from the start

I gave you my heart” - Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, Elton John & Kiki Dee

Thirty seconds it had taken for Colin Bridgerton to take Penelope Featherington’s heart.

Five years it had taken for Colin Bridgerton to break Penelope Featherington’s heart.

A handful of days it had taken for Colin Bridgerton to give Penelope Featherington his heart.

And twelve years it had taken for Colin Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington to truly see the other for who they were.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bonus rap song section!! (Explicit)

“Go, go, go, go, go, go

Go Shorty, it’s your birthday” - In da Club , 50 Cent

Colin paced across the length of his drawing room, absentmindedly flicking his fingers as he did so.

She was meant to be down here.

He needed her down here.

Right at that very instant.

He simply couldn’t wait any longer.

Penelope needed to sweep down those steps wearing some gorgeous little number, race into the room, and-

“Colin, stop doing that. It’s incredibly irritating.”

He didn’t stop, but he did turn his head to send a scowl to his sister. “Pardon me, but I’m quite sure that you were meant to get her out of the house by four o’clock.” And with a pointed look to the clock, he added, “And it’s already a quarter past.”

Eloise crossed her arms as her eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t fathom how it has somehow become my fault that she’s late. Weren’t you meant to make sure that she’d be ready by now?”

At this, Colin didn’t meet her eye, instead sending a quick not-so-guilty glance to the sofa. He certainly had meant to make sure that she was dressed and proper in time for Eloise’s arrival, but he’d gotten… Side-tracked.

It wasn’t his fault that she’d decided to wear his favorite shade of pink that afternoon. He was just a man, and how could any man not charge her, grab her by the shoulders, and-

“Oh, ew!�� Eloise exclaimed, jumping from her seat on the sofa. It seemed that she hadn’t missed Colin’s glance. “Honestly, one would think that you’re still newlyweds.”

Colin finally did stop his pacing to send his sister a half-smile that was far more cheeky and apologetic. With a small shrug, he leaned against the wall.

“Well, you know, sister, we-”

“We what?” Penelope interrupted as she strode into the room, sending him a teasingly accusing face. But before he could even consider answering, she went straight to Eloise and gave her a hug. “I’m so sorry I’m late, Maria insisted on this intricate hairstyle.” She motioned to the chignon sitting atop her head, which Colin thought was rather lovely on her.

“And you were tied up before then?” Eloise asked innocently, barely batting an eye when Penelope suddenly flushed.

There was a pause of silence, but Colin (who had been appreciating the sight of his wife from across the room), rushed towards them. “Alright, I think you’re late enough as is. Don’t want to make the Modiste angry, do we?”

Penelope frowned as she turned to him, her eyebrows furrowing in that magnificent way they always did. “I really think it will be-”

But he had already taken her by the arm and begun dragging her into the hallway, Eloise following closely in tow. “Darling, go, go, go, go, go, go. You mustn't be late.”

Her mouth hung open as he strode her towards the front door, helping her with the coat Dunwoody had handed him.

“Colin, what are you-”

“Go, Darling. It’s your birthday. Go have fun.”

And as if by magic, Penelope and Eloise were standing outside on the steps and Colin was shutting the door.

Penelope blinked several times, staring at the knocker on the door before she turned to her best friend. “What in the world was that about?”

Eloise snorted, tucking an arm through hers. “I do believe that when we get back later today, we might party like it’s your birthday.”

“I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring

Oh baby, I wanna get wit’cha” - Baby’s Got Back , Sir Mix-a-Lot

Penelope let out a sigh as her eyes trailed the ballroom of Bridgerton House, resting upon the back of her husband. And then her eyes trailed downwards, and she let out another sigh as her eyes traveled downwards, downwards, downwards…

“Penelope?”

He looked good.

Too good.

“Penelope? ”

So very, very goo-

A pair of fingers snapped a few inches from her face. “Penelope!”

She blinked, her head jerking to face Kate. “Oh, I’m sorry. What were we talking about?”

Kate and Sophie shared a glance before turning back to her, both looking equally suspicious. “We were discussing whether or not Lucy’s pregnant again,” Sophie answered after a moment, peeking at Penelope as she took a slow sip of champagne.

“Oh,” Penelope said, her eyes somehow again landing on her husband. “She is.”

“And what makes you so sure?” Kate asked. Or perhaps it was Sophie. Er- quite honestly, Penelope’s focus was far too drawn away to discern the difference.

“Oh, I just…” She swallowed, not taking any notice of the fact that her voice had trailed off.

One of her sisters-in-law giggled. “She can’t stop staring.”

“Hmm?” Penelope finally tore her gaze away to look at them, eyes widened in absolute innocence.

Kate bit back a smirk as she lifted her glass. “I do believe Colin’s old bedroom has been kept.”

Penelope didn’t even have the decency to blush as she nodded, sparing just a rather feeble wave as she navigated through the room, eyes glued to Colin’s form.

Although he was mid-way through a conversion with his brother-in-law, Geoffrey, Colin’s arm slithered around his wife’s waist the very moment her fingertips reached him. And when he glanced down, he recognized a very… Strange look in her eyes.

It seemed Geoffrey too had noticed, for he mumbled, “I think Felicity’s looking for me…” before disappearing into the crowd.

Colin grinned as he leaned down to give Penelope’s lips better access to his ear.

“I want to be with you,” she whispered, her hot breath leaving shivers down his back.

His eyebrow quirked upwards as he looked down at her. “Now?”

She grinned and nodded. “Now.”

“Wet-ass pussy

Make that pull-out game weak, woo (ah)” - WAP, Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion

There was screaming.

And growling.

And purring.

And scratching.

“Oh, my God!”

“Colin!”

“Penelope!”

She looked down at him, eyes wide and almost… frightened. “What happened?” There was water all over the floor, buckets knocked down, drops of blood…

And one very wet pussy cat hissing in her husband’s direction.

“Our dear ass-” ("Colin!” ) “Benjamin got it into his head to jump into my bath,” he muttered, grabbing a nearby robe. “And I think you can conclude how that ended.”

Penelope cringed, gingerly stepping over a puddle to soothe the cat. “And your valet?”

Colin glared at her as he tugged at the belt of his robe. “Had some difficulty pulling the cat out and had to go get some bandages.”

Benjamin purred as Penelope scratched behind his ear, doing her best not to laugh. “I hope you at least got to finish your washing.”

She could feel Colin’s glower in the quiet, the only sounds coming from their reasonably calmed (but still rather wet) pussy cat.

“Next time, I want a dog instead.”

#polin #bridgerton fic #my fic #polinweek #polinweek2021 #this is definitely a new style for me #hope the balance of songs vs fic is good #i actually really like it for some reason #and i will be posting a bonus comical part later today inspired by yesterday's selfie #but first i must attend an interview #have a good polin day guys!!!#also please let me know if you liked this #polin week's bringing out a lot of different styles and I've love to know what people like #also shout out to mr perfectly fine for being the literal inspiration for this fic

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