#have some...whatever this is

[rosesradio]

THAT LUKABETH DDLG SHIT WAS SO ACCURATE. I'd think of it in a more fucked up way, like since she was little Annabeth has only ever trusted Luke to take care of her and no one else. This morphs into a weird, unusual, to some people disgusting arrangement as they both get older and Annabeth knows she could, should, feel ashamed of wanting Luke to take care of her this way, this is how it's always been between them. He's still the only one who can take care of her. I WILL have what that anon is having

okay, now i'll have some of what you're having 👀 i was honestly thinking along a similar path but i wanted to keep things tame (😭), but i can fully see this

*please take this post with a grain of salt, this is not at all meaning to be offensive towards the ddlg and/or age regression communities (yes ik those are two different communities with only occasional overlap). although i know those lifestyles can & often are explored in a healthy way, this post is simply an exploration into an unhealthy version*

i think the like. devolution of annabeth chase would be really interesting to explore.

like you put her through two wars, the first of which she fought against her older brother figure/years-long crush, the second of which her best friend/bf was missing for several months + the tartarus of it all, & ofc she has an insurmountable amount of trauma. i'd be curious to see an AU in which luke lives, he & annabeth manage to rekindle their relationship, & it causes the both of them to collide into each other & relapse into something...bizzare.

(this would be a post-HoO AU, annabeth is probably college aged & staying at the camp as an older counselor with luke while they figure out their next steps)

luke finds himself inclined to help her. he's just being nice, right? he's just being nice when he carries her things for her, sure...and gets her plate ready for her at dinner...and kneels down in front of her to tie her shoes instead of just telling annabeth her shoe is untied.

(ever since she was young, annabeth remembered liking the sight of luke kneeling before her to do something for her)

annabeth protests at first. she protested when she was a kid, too, always insisting that she could do everything herself to impress him. and luke just laughs & tells her that he knows she can, & that he just likes to take care of her. & part of her just melts

annabeth begins to give in more & more. annabeth lets him hold her in his lap during the campfires—she lets him read to her at night—she lets him help her dress in the older counselor's cabin, and she feels so vulnerable under his gaze, like his little doll. she loves the feeling. it makes her stomach coil with molten heat, like nausea & shame & arousal meeting in some sick, elaborate dance.

she's falling apart. she knows she's falling apart every time she looks at up the ceiling when luke "checks her for bugs" (there are never any bugs). she knows it when he tucks her in for the night and she asks him to stay with her. it only ends up with him looming over her, his cock buried to the hilt because he insists it'll feel so good (it does) & she'll sleep so much better (she does).

annabeth can sense it in the stares of the other campers. they know she's with him, they know their history. they should also know, she thinks, that she's an adult & can do what she likes. even if she falls back into acting like a child more often than not.

annabeth overhears it one day, from a younger camper watching as luke once again kneels down to tie annabeth's shoes (it's almost intentional, how often they're untied, though annabeth swears she forgets). annabeth thanks him when he comes up with a kiss—a kiss that luke tries to deepen, though annabeth pulls away as they're in public. the younger camper, a girl around ten, asks her older camper friend, a boy of around sixteen, if that will be them when she's old enough. the boy becomes awkward, stuttering out a "no" that's filled with contempt & digust.

annabeth's stomach churns with nausea. panic fills her lungs. she stumbles towards the bathroom before she can think to tell luke where she's going (luke hates it when she leaves unnanounced).

she throws up in the toilet, fighting through heaving breaths and sobs as the bubble begins to break around her mind, one agonizing crack against the glass after the next. she's fighting, fighting, fighting to be herself again, to reclaim her life.

if this was what she had become, she should have died in tartarus. she should have died under luke's blade in kronos's hands.

luke finds her before the bubble can crack beyond recognition. he rubs her back with a warm hand, his words soft and calming as piper's charmspeak.

annabeth knows he has fallen apart as much as she has. luke was made to care for her, nothing more. if he can't fufill her every desire, what was the point in him living at all?

he offers to hold her in his lap while she draws him a picture with her crayons, just like they used to when she was a kid.

annabeth nods, leaning into him as the tears dry and the bile becomes an aftertaste. she's tired, she's too tired to grapple with any of this now or ever.

luke is here now, and he's gonna make sure everything is okay.

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[fraternum-momentum]

give me your complete and unwavering devotion.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[meziniart]

Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

[lady-of-the-spirit]

"Canon divergence" but it's giving characters the close friendships I think they would have had if canon had expanded a little more.

[shotmrmiller]

doing everything within your power to not get into any more hand to hand practice with simon because he's very very rough with you during them. he doesn't care that he could easily snap you in half like a pencil, "ya oughta learn 'ow to take a man my size down f'good. always be prepared for the worst."

it's terrible. if it wasn't for the fact that you always see johnny limp away after his sparring session while shooting you a grin with pink teeth, you'd think simon has it out for you in particular.

except he doesn't. (or doesn't he?) all those finger shaped bruises on your flesh are all purely for his own benefit. seeing the mottled skin on your neck from where he held on a little too tight, your arms from where he pinned you in place at his utter mercy, the blotches on your legs, where his fingers dug into your inner thighs-

his eyes cross at the thought of eventually being able to leave those same bruises in the exact same spots but with his mouth instead. saliva pools in his mouth when he's got your face pressed firm into the mat, neck bared, a blank canvas for his lips, his teeth.

simon wonders if you'd be ticklish if he were to suckle an ugly bruise right over your racing pulse.

(starved to have you come in his mouth, his tongue flat on your pebbled clit, pulsating, as if it's got a heartbeat of its own.)

for now he watches you receive sympathy pats on your back as it's your turn again, swallowing thickly when he spots fresh bruises on your calves, close to your ankles.

art requires a certain cruelty.

[rapidhighway]

the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd

[mildh4nn]

THE KING OF PIRATES

Interested in the full resolution and no glaze? Wanna tip me? Check me Patreonn

Added this as a print to buy if anyone would like to grab one as well

[thismightbeconsideredart]

"Yay! My first real class!" -> "wait a second this doesn't make any sense..." speedrun

i just love @kianamaiart 's magical girl ocs so much i had to try my hand at animating an aika

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

[turtletoria]

i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !

[alnilaem]

*heavy sigh* ……. Price

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.