#have some sprinklings of angst because I'm an ass

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | ten.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 5.2k (sorry i know i said 5.5k.. had to chop off a bit and move it onto the next chapter lol)

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, flashback scene, yuyu and yeosang find themselves at a house party ayeee 🤪, yeosang assuming the role of wingman, alcohol consumption, intoxication, a sprinkle of seonghwa, dancing/throwing ass back, cute funny drunk yunho lol, making out, dry humping, sleepovers 😙

one night - sire | mi gente - j balvin | dj turn it up - yellow claw

Yunho looks at himself in the mirror, letting out a deep sigh. He opted for a simple outfit— one that could keep him cool in a packed house and not be too extra for a party. But, the longer he stares at it, the more he feels like he could do better. Or, maybe, you might not even notice him or think much of him in this outfit. 

How does he do this?

Honestly, he's not even sure what constitutes a 'house party' outfit.

"Nice." Yeosang nods as he stands near Yunho's doorway.

"It's too plain, isn't it?" Yunho eyes Yeosang's outfit. He's in a loose, black sleeveless top, a bomber jacket, jeans and boots.

"No, why? It's fine." It's Yeosang's turn to eye Yunho in his fit, and he honestly thinks it's perfect for tonight's events. Yunho opted for black jeans, a white Stussy shirt, and his converse. He has a silver bracelet dangling around his wrist, cologne sitting at the corner of his dresser. Yeosang doesn't smell it on him yet, but he thinks it's because Yunho is questioning whether it's too much or not. "You look good."

"Should I add some cologne? A light jacket?"

"Add the cologne." Yeosang laughs. "But, not the jacket. I'm literally only going in this because I'm just there for a few drinks and to be a wingman. Then, I'll see myself out." Yunho smiles and nods.

"Hm." Yunho hums. "I'm just going there for a bit, too."

"Mm, but you're going there to hang out with Y/N and grab her for a few dances. I refuse to leave until you get a moment with her."

"I don't know. What if she doesn't wanna, though? I'm not gonna force her."

"Seriously? With all the little walks you guys take and your study sessions?" Yeosang smirks. "Right." He looks at his phone. "Anyway, we're a bit late. Wanna take a shot or two and walk over?" Yunho shrugs.

"Sure." Yunho takes one last look at himself before spraying a bit of cologne and meeting Yeosang in the kitchen. Yunho doesn't like to drink much because he hates the feeling, especially the next morning. But tonight, he was feeling a little more bold— like he could use the extra liquid courage to be less nervous around you.

Not that he needed it, but it was a party. He'd like to be of some fun for you.

By the time Yunho heads out to the kitchen, Yeosang already has 2 red cups ready to go. He tilts the cup to the side, peeking at how much alcohol was inside—

Yeosang must have wanted him to die.

"This isn't a shot or two. This is half the bottle." Yeosang laughs and shakes his head.

"Not even. I swear dude, you'll be fine. We can pace ourselves when we get there. Plus who knows, they might've taken all the alcohol already."

"It's only been 30 minutes since the party started." 

"A lot can happen in 30 minutes." Yeosang picks up his cup and raises it in the air. "Cheers?" Yunho shrugs and taps his cup against his, internally dying at how much alcohol is in his cup.

"Cheers." Yunho swallows the first half in a big gulp before cracking open the coke can. He takes a sip before gulping down the last bit and making a face at Yeosang. "Don't ever do that again."

"You're welcome." Yeosang laughs. "Let's head out and get your girl." Yunho shakes his head, quickly cleaning the kitchen before shutting off the lights and following Yeosang out. Luckily, the party is at a house right behind the complex, so Yeosang and Yunho aren't having to walk too far. As they approach the community, Yunho can already hear the music blasting from down the street, followed by a few echoes of loud yells and cheers. Hearing the noise makes him feel a bit anxious, and he's starting to regret his decision based off of it alone.

But, he commits. He knows he'll see you soon, and things will feel a bit better.

It does help knowing Yeosang joined to make him feel more comfortable.

Approaching the house, Yunho can see that there are people packed on the first floor of the house and into the backyard. He follows Yeosang in, squeezing his way past all the drunk people to head to the kitchen.

"Here, gonna make you a drink to sip on." Yeosang says, pointing at the counter where all the liquor and soda are laid out. Yunho continues to follow along, even if his eyes are searching high and low for you. He hasn't seen you yet, and he's hoping he does soon.

He really just wants to find you and be with you.

♣︎ FLASHBACK

Yunho kicks the rocks beneath his shoes, hands dug deep into his pockets as he patiently waits at the end of the path. He's anxious, and a bit nervous; but overall, happy to finally see you. His head shoots up the moment he hears a door click close, footsteps jogging down the steps.

"Yunho!" You softly squeal, giggling as you run straight into his arms. He wraps you into a bear hug, slightly swinging you around before placing you back down onto your feet.

"Hey cutie."

"I missed you! You're actually here."

"I told you I came home early." You chuckle before gently squeezing his bicep.

"I know, but it's nice to know it's real." You smile. "What have you been up to?"

"Not much. How was your drive over?"

"I fell asleep for most of it. We stopped at a pitstop to grab more grub, but otherwise, it was okay." He nods.

"Club was fun last night?"

"Sooo much fun! I met so many new friends, and the DJ was so good! It was such a good time. I wish you had been there." 

"I wish I was too. But, next time. Yeah?" You nod.

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'm happy you had fun, though. You deserved it, all of it." You link your arm around his, absentmindedly following him to his car. You don't realize it until he's opening the car door, gesturing at you to wait until he grabs a few things from the seat. "I have something for you."

"What is it?" Your eyes sparkle as you stand and wait.

"You said you needed to get new lavender for your room, right?" You remember texting him that a few days ago, and you can't help but smile at Yunho's attention to detail.

"Are you serious?" You slightly pout when he hands you the small bouquet of lavender, plus a smaller bag.

"I-I also found those persimmons you like so much." He scratches at the nape of his neck, nervously watching you eye the gifts. Your expression is a tad bit unreadable, and Yunho can't really tell if he's crossed a line or if he's okay. But, to his surprise, you set the things down onto the trunk of the car and jump back into his arms.

"Yunho, you really are the best. Thank you for all of this."

"Of course. I guess it's my odd way of saying congrats?" You giggle, allowing him to press a small kiss against your temple. 

♣︎ END

But, unluckily for you, you're having to deal with a drunk Seonghwa who doesn't seem to get the point. You had been avoiding him since you arrived, sticking close to a few other friends in the backyard while watching an intense game of beer pong taking place. The moment you stepped away to go find your bestfriends, Seonghwa comes stumbling out of nowhere— ziplining straight to you once he spots you.

"Babygirl, can we talk?" You can smell the liquor on him, his hand wrapping gently around your wrist. "I've missed you. I've been waiting for you all night. Just give me a few mins—"

"Not now. I'm trying to find my friends."

"Your friends?"

"Seonghwa." You warn him because you know exactly where this is going.

"You sure it isn't Yunho? I hope it isn't." Seonghwa laughs at the possibility even though your expression confirms the answer.

"And if it is, then what? At the end of the day, it isn't your business." Seonghwa scoffs.

"Are you serious? I don't get you. I don't get it. I've been turning everyone down for you, and you don't even realize—"

"Okay, then go do whatever the fuck you want Seonghwa! No one asked you to do that, I told you this was over. Stop keeping tabs on me." You rip your hand from his grip even as he continues to call for you, walking away from the hallway into the crowded, but hyped living room. Every single person in the room was dancing; either with friends or with another person. You catch a glimpse of Yunho standing against the wall with Mingi and Yeosang, flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. He sips on his drink, eyes meeting yours across the room. You're in this cute cargo mini skirt, a cropped tee and Nike dunks.

Goddamn, you look good.

And if it wasn't for all this liquid courage, he wouldn't be thinking about grabbing you for a dance— just for funsies. Bonus that he gets you, all of you, to himself tonight.

You didn't even expect Yunho to show up at this point, being that he's said time and time again that he wasn't into parties. But, you're glad he is. Mingi and Yeosang must have done a lot of convincing, which they did. Though, the other part of it was the fact that he knew you'd be here and that might give him another opportunity to get even closer to you.

"Hey, what the fuck was that about?" Chaery pulls you out of your little staring contest when she comes out of the kitchen and gently squeezes your arm.

"Just Seonghwa being Seonghwa, what else?" You roll your eyes, still appalled at Seonghwa's audacity to try and gatekeep you for the night even though you're well aware there isn't one truthful bone in his body. You ended this, and you had no plans on falling back into his trap tonight. 

Not on the agenda.

"Dude, forget him, let's just have fun." Soobin says, pointing at your group of friends in the corner of the room. "Everyone else is over there." You follow them over, eyes glancing over to Yunho again. He's still conversing with Mingi and Yeosang, though his eyes follow yours mid-convo. It's almost like he's waiting for you, or waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his move. You're hoping he does, but you also have no problem making the first move.

Yunho is so, so attractive.

You would be lying if you said your feelings for Yunho weren't growing by the second.

You meet up with your friends in the living room; Hyunjin, Jongho, Taehyun, Minnie and Yeonjun already dancing along to the song and showing off their moves. You, Seungmin, Soobin and Chaery join along, before Yeonjun is passing his flask around so that your group can take more shots together. At this point, you're tipsy and definitely feeling yourself more as the alcohol continues to run through your veins.

Feeling yourself, feeling bold, feeling good despite Seonghwa trying to ruin your night and be all possessive— who the fuck was he to act that way? He didn't want it in the first place, so you'll give him a little taste of his own medicine.

You can't help but turn over your shoulder to see Yunho bouncing along to the beat while Mingi is scoping the room. You can tell he's trying to get Yunho to explore and find himself a cutie to dance with, but he responds with a laugh and a shake of his head. His eyes meet yours [yet again for the umpteenth time tonight] and the tension suddenly increases tenfold through his look alone. His tongue pokes out to wet his lips before he's giving you a small smirk. 

You want him.

"Why don't you dance with him instead of eyeing him the entire night?" Chaery says in your ear, making you drunkily giggle.

"I'm too shy."

"Shut up, since when? You look so good tonight, fuck Seonghwa. I refuse to let him ruin your night. Get up on Jeong Yunho, now." She quickly glances at him. "He clearly wants you too." Suddenly, the lights in the living room shut off, obnoxious, colorful disco lights filling different corners of the room. It's clear that the intention behind shutting off the lights was to get everyone to the highest level of hoe tonight, and it's working—

Hyunjin is dancing with Minnie, Soobin and Yeonjun are dancing with some other girls in your class.

Even Seungmin is pulling Chaery to the middle for a fun, platonic dance. 

"Go for it, dude." Yeosang says to Yunho, gently nudging his arm. "She'll be out there any second."

"Y/N come out here!" Chaery yells, pulling you deeper into the dance floor with Seungmin. You know she's plotting on getting you closer to Yunho because the two of them are only an arms-length away from where Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi stand. You laugh and dance around with your bestfriends anyway, until you feel a hand gently grab at your wrist and pull you from the crowd. You turn to see Yunho smiling, pulling you flush to his body before grabbing your hips. Mingi is focused on his dance with one of the seniors, leaning back against the wall as she works her ass against him, while Yeosang is pursing his lips together to prevent himself from smiling at you and Yunho dancing together.

And Seonghwa? He shouldn't give a fuck, but he does. Especially when he sits on the random bar stool and catches you having fun with Yunho [out of all fucking people], his girl for the night whining for his attention in between his legs. The worst part is that Yunho can fucking dance.

The sly motherfucker has gigs and can keep up with your rhythm. Since when?

It looks so natural for the two of you to be all up on each other like this, and it makes Seonghwa so fucking annoyed, slightly sick to his stomach even. How the hell was he gonna lose his main chick over Jeong Yunho? 

But, you could care less about what he has to think. Right now, all you can think about is Yunho giving your hips a squeeze, fingers hooked into the belt loops of your skirt as he dances against you and works with your rhythm. What a turn on. 

After a couple of songs, it's transitioning into yet another song and you're worked the fuck out. You turn to face him, giggling as he keeps you close and rests his hands around your hips. 

"Thanks for the dance." You tell him in his ear, hand resting on the nape of his neck.

"Are you staying for awhile?" He asks, pulling back slightly just to read your expression.

"I was, but I don't mind leaving early." He looks at you again, a small smile on the corner of his lips.

"Wanna get outta here then? I'm kinda over it." You chuckle and nod.

"Let me just tell Chaery." You look over at Yeosang, who is still observing the party with another friend of his. "What about Yeosang?" Yeosang hears you and shakes his head with a smile on his face, deciding he'll be home later just to give you and Yunho some alone time. 

"No, it's alright. I'm gonna stay and catch up with more people." He lies. You nod, hand laced with Yunho's as you navigate the crowd and gently pull Chaery by the arm. She waves happily at Yunho before she's dipping forward to hear what you have to say.

"I'm gonna head out early." Her eyes widen before she squeals.

"Oh my god! Yes! Be safe, okay?" She points at Yunho. "You better take care of her or I'm chopping your shit off, for real." He winces.

"Yeah, don't worry. I got her."

"See you later!" 

"Or not, don't come home! That's fine, too!" Seungmin drunkly adds, making you roll your eyes as you both continue to through the crowd and out of the house.

"Thank god." He says the moment you two step out of the door and get hit with the fresh, evening air. You chuckle as you make your way out of the front yard and out onto the street, finally feeling free from suffering at a crowded, stuffy frat party.

"I wasn't expecting you to be here." You look down at your hands still clasped together. As the cold hits, you're realizing you're still quite drunk and Yunho is too. He's much more talkative and giggly tonight. You like it.

"I wasn't either." He chuckles. "But Yeo and Mingi.."

"They did a lot to convince you, it seems." He shrugs.

"That. And, maybe the fact that I knew you were coming?" You shoot him a look before smiling down at the ground.

"You know you don't have to use the party as an excuse to hang out with me more, right?" 

"I don't know, you're a really pretty girl who has a really busy schedule. Thought it was a good way to sneak myself in a bit more outside of school and friends." You snort and nod.

"Yunho, I like your company. We can always hang out. You don't have to subject yourself to this mess."

"Eh, I'd say it was still worth it." You giggle.

"So, where are we going?"

"Down the street and back to my place?" He asks nervously. "If that's okay with you, of course. There's really no intention behind it, and I know you wanted to see my place, so I just—"

"I'd like that." He smiles. God, the fucking boldness spewing out of him right now— who is he?

"Okay." The walk is back up the hill, super quick and nothing too treacherous. Though, it seems like it lasts for 5 seconds when you're holding Yunho's hand and listening to him talk about everything he's observed at the party. He's making you laugh so much that you don't even remember the last time you had a stomach ache from someone telling you their party experiences. Everything is just so natural with Yunho, you can't help but accept the fact that your feelings for him do grow every second you're near him.

"Oh my god, I think I got a workout from that walk alone." He chuckles as he unlocks his door and steps aside to let you in.

"Good, at least our workout is covered for the weekend." You look around at the apartment. It's bare, but it's clean. They have a couch with a coffee table in the living room and a good sized tv. The kitchen is spotless, with a few containers of protein and Shaker bottles lying around the counter [thanks to Yeosang] and some bread and fruits off to the side.

"Wow, it's cozy and clean." Yunho chuckles.

"We try to keep it clean." He looks at you with glossy, drunk-dazed eyes. "And guess what? It's really hard." You snort.

"I beg to differ. You and Yeosang do a good job." He pops into the fridge and flashes a water bottle.

"Well, that's always good to hear." He laughs a bit. "Need some water?"

"Please." He smiles as he hands you the bottle in his hand. You both take a good gulp or two before Yunho starts to slowly walk down the hallway. 

"Quick tour - Yeosang's room, my room." He smiles. "End of tour." You laugh.

"Thank you for that." 

"Do you wanna hang out in my room or out here? It's up to you, I don't mind either way. Just want you to be comfortable." He says. You point to his door and he simply nods. He swings the door open to his room and it almost surprises you how neat it is inside. You're only peering in from the hallway though, carefully taking steps into his room before you're fully in his space, eyes wandering from wall to wall. He has a drawer against one wall, with a few figurines lining the top surface. He has a corner desk with two monitors, probably to help with his gaming [you assume; Seungmin and Soobin have been trying to do this setup for ages], and a good sized bed that has its navy sheets neatly fixed. His room isn't entirely huge, so it's obvious he's tried to utilize his space as much as possible.

"I feel like I'm intruding in your space, though." You say as you continue to eye his room. Yunho comes behind you, watching as you observe the surroundings.

"Trust me, you're not." He says softly from behind. You feel his presence close in on you from behind, chest almost grazing your back. "You can relax." He chuckles a bit, hoping it'll help you feel a little better. And he thinks it works, especially when you start to walk towards his drawer and carefully run your hand across his figurines and special edition funko pops. They were mostly given to him throughout the years by his older cousins. The gifts will always be special to him, especially now that they've all moved to various places around the world and he rarely ever sees them anymore. 

"Do you collect these?" Your eyes are still on the figurines while Yunho follows behind. He shakes his head as if you can see him.

"Not really, my cousins gifted me those."

"Sweet." You glance at him with a small smile. Then, your attention darts to the random pile of photos sitting at the corner. Your hands almost get ahead of themselves, beginning to reach over to grab them when you pause— "Pictures?" You look at him with that doe-eyed look again and he melts a bit.

"I found them while cleaning out a few things. It's mostly with my cousins and—"

"Baby Yunho with mom?!" You raise up a picture, one that has baby Yunho in a hat, striped t-shirt and shorts. He's sitting on the lap of who you presume is his mother, throwing up a thumbs up with a huge, hearty smile. "You are so cute, look at you!" He blushes, but he takes the photo from your hand and snags the others before you can see anything else embarrassing. 

"Uh, yeah. That's mom. I need to get a frame for these, but until then—"

"Let me see the others!" You pout, trying to reach for the others in his hand. He raises it, laughing at your effort when he's damn near as tall as the Salesforce Tower in SF. It's so adorable, and so, so endearing that you want to see this so badly. "Yunho, hey." You whine. "That's not fair. I wanna see baby Yunho with his cousins."

"You will, once I frame them and make it look more presentable." You give him an unsure look and he smiles. "Promise." You huff and scrunch your nose. "You're really, really cute, you know that?"

"If you think this is gonna make me forget about it, it's not gonna work Jeong Yunho." You look up at him as he closes the distance between you two.

"Oh, it's not?" He teases, his face dipping down towards you in an angle that'll make it so easy for him to just kiss you, indulge in you, right at this moment.

"Mm, no." You subtly bite onto your bottom lip, but Yunho catches it. There's a small pause, some silence sitting in the air while Yunho's eyes are darting to your features— the mole near your bottom eye lid, long, thick lashes, plump lips.

Yeah, he wants to kiss you.

"Y/N?" He breaks the silence first.

"Mhm?" His lips only a mere inches away from yours at this point and it's obvious where this is going. God, you can't wait.

"Is it okay if I..?" You nod quietly as Yunho leans in to meet your lips. At first, the kiss is soft, sweet. He only pulls back to quickly read your expression, but it doesn't last for long when you're pulling him by the shirt for another kiss. This time, it's deeper. There's hunger, there's need, there's want. Yunho quickly drops the photos back on top of the drawer before cupping your cheeks. His tongue lines your bottom lip before inserting it in, a small whimper leaving your mouth when his tongue starts to dance around with yours. You push him back so that he plops onto his bed, boldly climbing onto his lap without a care in the world as you continue to messily make out with him. The quick moment you release your lips from his, he's chasing after your bottom lip— gently sucking onto it and biting it before pulling back. One hand is at your waist, fingers starting to hook onto the belt loop of your skirt when he feels you subtly grind against him. He lets out a breath while the other hand gently squeezes at your thigh before coming up to cup your cheek. He kisses you on the lips once more before he trails down your jaw, feeling your hips working against him as you let out small moans. 

Your skirt is barely doing justice to cover you at this point, and it's driving Yunho crazy.

But, that's what brings him back to reality. Though it's hard as fuck to fully come back down from cloud nine, he doesn't wanna do this the wrong way. He wants to take you out first, wants to treat you properly and have your first time [if ever] naturally occur— not a drip of intoxication. You were worth much more than that, and he was not trying to be another Park Seonghwa who solely treated you like an object, a 'prized' possession; another body he could add to his list.

"Wait, wait." He whispers near your ear after prying his lips off of your jaw. 

"What's wrong?" You look at him with some sort of fear, or worry. Yunho immediately shakes his head in response because there's nothing wrong with you; he just wants to do right by you.

"As much as I really, really wanna do this right now, I wanna do things right with you." His eyes land on yours as his thumb continues to caress your cheek. "Especially don't wanna be intoxicated if it ever gets to that point. Is that okay?" You give him a soft smile and nod.

"More than okay." 

"Okay." He comes in for another sweet, gentle kiss against your lips— one where he stays there for a bit before slowly pulling back. "I don't wanna mess this up."

"You won't, Yunho. You couldn't." You brush the hair out of his face before lazily wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands rest at your waist while he looks at you, eyes darting across every inch of your face.

God, you are so beautiful. So sweet, and so beautiful. 

Seonghwa is the biggest dumbass he has ever come across. But to each their own!

"Do you.. wanna make some pb&j sandwiches? Watch a movie while we lay down? Play a board game?" You giggle.

"Actually, a pb&j sandwich followed by a movie while laying down sounds amazing right now." 

"Okay, let's do it." He taps your waist. 

"Wait. Do you have clothes I can borrow and change into? Cause I definitely don't wanna lay down in this." He chuckles and walks to his drawer after the both of you get back on your feet. He hands you some shorts and a longsleeve, telling you to use whatever in the bathroom that you might need to freshen up. "Thank you." You plant a chaste kiss to his cheek before freshening up in his bathroom and changing into his clothes. You smile to yourself, smelling the scent of his detergent on the pieces of material, feeling how soft it is against your skin. 

When you walk out, Yunho is already toasting some bread while grabbing the peanut butter and jelly. You giggle as you place your clothes down in his room, slipping yourself onto the counter near him while he goes to work.

"Yunho, the peanut butter to jelly ratio is off." 

"No, it's not." He holds up the bread slice with a thin layer of jelly.

"It needs more jelly. You can still see parts of the bread cause there's not enough jelly." He laughs and nods.

"Okay, cutie. I'm on it." He adjusts the ratio until you're happily clapping and take the sandwich from him. You bite into it with so much satisfaction that Yunho can't help but be pleased with himself. You're happy. Here— with him and this sandwich.

"Hey." Yeosang suddenly walks through the door and slightly furrows his brows at the two of you laughing over pb&j sandwiches. You're sitting on the counter with Yunho now slotted in between your legs.

"Oh, hey! How was the rest of the party?" He shrugs and tosses his keys aside.

"Alright, I guess. You guys didn't miss out on much."

"Are Chaery and them still there?" He nods.

"Yeah, but they were getting ready to head out too." 

"Want a pb&j sandwich?" Yeosang laughs.

"I'm good. Thanks." He spots Yunho's clothes on you and prevents himself from smirking a bit too big. He doesn't know you too well enough to tease, plus he feels like he can't just flat out assume, so he keeps it to himself and bids you two farewell instead. "I'm gonna shower in a bit and head to bed. Fucking beat."

"Goodnight!" You and Yunho call out before he disappears into his room. You and Yunho giggle at each other as you continue to satisfy your drunchies before getting yourselves ready for the movie. The both of you settle on a true crime documentary for god knows why [definitely not shits and giggles], but as long as Yunho was around, you felt comforted enough. He hands you an extra toothbrush from his stash, reassuring you that he wasn't pressuring you to stay unless you really wanted to.

Which, you did.

It was late. You were comfortable in his clothes. Of course you'd fall asleep mid-documentary. Plus, Yunho wasn't gonna let you leave this late even if you lived across the lot. 

Once you and Yunho get more comfortable and clean up in the kitchen, he shuts off the lights and closes his door— leaving you to stand awkwardly in his room as you wait for him. He chuckles a bit and grabs his laptop off of his desk before nodding towards his bed.

"You can lay down, you know?" 

"It's your bed. You should pick which side you want first." 

"I'll hang out on the end so that the monsters don't come and get you in the middle of the night." You laugh and shake your head, slipping yourself near the wall after Yunho pulls his sheets back. He settles in right after, allowing you to snuggle against him as he sets the laptop on his tummy. "Are you okay?"

"You're comfy." He snorts a bit as the movie starts to play.

"Definitely gonna fall asleep."

"Am not." You whine.

"Probably 20 mins tops."

And Yunho's right, except it barely hits 20 minutes before he hears the soft snores against his chest. He smiles down at you before shutting off his laptop, setting it on the floor near his bed before adjusting his position so that the two of you were snuggled deeply under his covers.

He could get used to this, and he doesn't know if it's more of a good or bad thing right now.

But he doesn't ponder for long— setting a small kiss on the top of your head before shutting his eyes and letting the drowsiness take over.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @marsattacks @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunholuvrsblog @mingigiggles @jaerisdiction

[asumofwords]

The Sublet - Roommate!AU

Warnings: She/her pronouns, slow burn, angst. Tags will be added as the fic goes along.

Pairings: Modern!Aemond x Reader

Summary: Living with Helaena Targaryen was one of the best decisions you had ever made. Meeting at university, the two of you became thick as thieves and quickly best friends, moving into a flat together. But what will happen when Helaena has to leave, and her quiet, brooding, brother moves in?

Notes: Well hello there my babies, hehe here is the little mini series I have begun for a modern!Aemond roommate AU. I'm super excited to explore this side of things as I have mostly been putting my focus into SFA. Please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! Hehe, slowish burn too <3 Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Christmas Beetle

The key scratched against the metal of the lock, your hand turning it as you opened the door to your flat, the smell of cooking curling around you as you stepped inside. From the kitchen you could hear your roommate Helaena humming to the music that played out of your speaker. 

“Hel!” You called out, dropping your keys into the dish by the door, toeing your shoes off as you moved inside the apartment. 

“In here!” Helaena sang back.

You moved your way down the hall, dropping your bag on the dining room table as you moved towards the kitchen.

Helaena stood barefooted in a singlet and pair of matching underwear. Her long silver hair piled atop her head, held together by a large butterfly clip. 

“Whatcha cooking, good looking?” You asked, walking up behind Helaena who reached out to turn down the speaker that was currently playing Lana Del Reys ‘West Coast’. 

Helaena turned her head, small silver butterfly earrings dangling from her ears, “Bolognese!” 

The room smelt of cooking onion and tomato, and you breathed in deeply as she reached forward to put in some cut up carrots and celery inside of the ceramic large pot. 

“Yum. God I love you.” You sighed, leaning back against the counter as you watched her stir in the ingredients, “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Absolutely nothing.” She grinned, reaching forward for the salt, sprinkling it atop, “Who else would feed you if I didn’t?”

“Hey! I can cook.” You frowned.

Helaena laughed loudly, “Mi Goreng doesn’t count.”

“I’ll have you know I can cook more than that.” You crossed your arms around your chest as you kicked a foot out to hit her shin softly.

Helaena jumped back, “Don’t be mean to the chef or you won’t get anything.”

You bowed, arm out in a dramatic flair, “Apologies, Your Grace.”

“Cut it out.” She pouted, “How was work?”

Hopping up on the counter, you groaned, “Don’t get me started. Larys was on my ass the whole day. Remind me why I work there again?”

“Because you need the money, and I got you the job.”

“It wasn’t just you that got me the job.” You grunted, “I have a great resume.”

“Of course you do.”

Tossing your head back against the cabinets you looks at the cream ceiling, “Ugh, how do you deal with Larys at all? He’s such a fucking creep. I swear he is always looking at me with those beady little eyes. You know the only time he has ever been nice to me was when he complimented my new shoes.” You scrunched your nose up at the thought. 

Your boss Larys Strong was a man who made your skin crawl. Lanky, with a crooked build, the brunette man always had a way of getting under your skin, and you could always feel his eyes on you when you worked in the office. He hovered around other workers, asking personal questions and prying into everyone else’s personal lives, and yet you knew next to nothing about the man. A complete energy vampire.

“I’m sure he’s not that bad. Mum hasn’t said anything about him and she works with him.” Helaena pointed out, bringing the spoon to her lips to try to sauce. She hummed loudly as she dipped it again, hand beneath it as she offered you a try.

You leant forward blowing on the spoon softly as steamed poured off of it, “Yeah, but your mum isn’t the most observant person, Hel.” You sucked the sauce into your mouth, eyes closing as you moaned loudly, “Oh my god. This is heaven. If you weren’t my best friend I would marry you.”

Helaena blushed and took the spoon back from you, swatting your thigh on the bench, “That ship has sailed.”

You laughed loudly at the memory, “How was I supposed to know you were hitting on me? You said I looked like a Christmas beetle.”

“Christmas beetles are beautiful.” Helaena said indignantly, “They have many different colours and shades, and in the sun they glow.”

“Don’t you go soft on me, Hely.” You teased, kicking your legs against the cabinet with a thunk, “Besides, you can’t butter me up with this home cooked meal no matter how good it is. I can’t believe you’re leaving me here alone.” You whined, throwing your head back, “And on break too!”

“Life is a cruel mistress.” She mocked you, “You won’t even notice I’m gone." A pale hand waved itself at you in the air in dismissal, "It’s only for the month, maybe even less than that. You know I have to go see Daeron, he’s been studying at Old Town all by himself, the poor thing.”

“Yeah well, not all of us can get into the prestigious Old Town University.” You huffed, “And I will notice you’re gone, who will cook me dinner?”

“I thought you said you could cook.”

“Hel, you wound me.” You grabbed the front of your shirt above your heart dramatically.

Helaena snorted, “Suck it up. Besides, my brother is going to sublet the room for the month so you won’t be alone.”

“Hel,” You whispered, head tilted in uncertainty, “Please don’t tell me Aegon is moving in. I love you, you know this, but your brother is a sex pest. Last time he came over he called me a Gazelle.”

“A Gazelle?”

“Said I have long legs.” You grimaced.

“Ugh. Gross. He is such a manwhore.” You hummed in agreement as Helaena scrunched her face up, mouth open in disgust, “But no, Aemond is going to sublet the room.”

“Hel, that isn’t any better. Aemond?” You began, leaning forward as you looked at her uneasily, “'Can’t pry a word out of the man', Aemond? 'Messy break up with his crazy ex', Aemond? Hel are you punishing me?”

“Be nice.” She slapped your arm, adding fresh basil into the pot that simmered gently, “Aemond is sweet once you get to know him. He’s just shy.”

“The last time I spoke to him, I asked him how his day was and he just hummed at me. He hummed.”

Helaena laughed.

“It’s not funny, Hel! Who the hell just hums like that?”

A small laugh floated through her nose, “Look, Aemond was the only one I could get to sublet the room in such short notice. Especially someone I trust. Plus, he needs to get away from Harrenhal and move back to Kings Landing. Alys has really done a number on him, and I think if he gets some time away from her he will see it’s better that way.”

“Can't you ask your mum to cover the rent? You’re not exactly scraping by.”

The Targaryens were richer than most, descended from ancient royalty, even owning an island called Dragonstone, a short boat ride away from shore, where a large fortress sat atop. Helaena would sometimes go for the summer to see her cousins, and had even taken you one year.

“I don’t want anything to do with the family money. When I moved out, I made a promise to myself that I would make it on my own.”

You sighed, smiling at your best friend. She really was one of a kind, willing to go above and beyond for her friends and not freeloading from her generational wealth like her brothers did, “You’re a good person, Hel. But you’re putting my head on the chopping block.”

“Mm.”

“Not you too.” You whined.

“Better get used to it," She grinned, enjoying your distress, "Aemond will be moving into my room at the end of the week. So I expect you to behave yourself while I’m away and be nice to him.”

You gasped in mock offence, “I’m always nice!”

Helaena gave you a pointed look. 

“Okay, well fine. I’ll be on my best behaviour for you.” You hopped off the counter, and put a hand on your chest and one in the air, “Scouts honour.”

“You weren’t a scout.”

“Never too late.” You grinned.

Helaena scrunched her nose at you, “You’re so annoying. Go shower, you stink.”

“I do not!” You said indignantly, turning your head to your shoulder to smell yourself.

“Well, there’s too many chefs in the kitchen and I want to have an everything shower tonight.”

You opened your mouth in mock surprise as you looked at her, a soft gasp leaving your lips. You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked at your best friend, “And who are you shaving for?” You wiggled your eyebrows at her.

Helaena blushed, “No one.”

“No.” You said in disbelief.

“Y/n-“

“Please tell me you’re not.”

Silence.

“Are you seeing Sara again?” 

Helaena looked so sheepish as she went back to stirring the dinner, you moved to stand behind her, resting your head on her shin from behind as you watched her cook, “Hel, what are you hiding from me?”

“Go away, you big gnat.” 

“I thought I was a Christmas beetle?”

“I’ve changed my mind. Plus you’re one to talk, I saw Cregan’s car out the front the other day as I left for work.” Helaena snipped, flustered and cheeks completely red. Her neck speckled with a blush that rose up from her chest.

“Glass houses. Besides, you can’t say the Starks aren’t scrummy.” You pinched her side and moved away from the kitchen, “I’m going to shower, and I’ll make sure to leave you some hot water so when Sara comes over tonight you’ll be all squeaky clean.” You teased.

“Shut it!”

The next morning you rose early to make yourself a cup of tea, you bumping into Sara on her way out of the house. The brunette was moving quickly out the door, hair knotted at the back of her head and lips blushed. 

“Morning Sara.” You greeted her as she walked past you on the lounge, clearly not expecting to see you. You lifted your mug of tea up towards her in greeting and watched as her cheeks blushed a deeper red than the top she was wearing. 

“Morning.” She responded, “Sorry, I’ve got an early class to get to.”

“Its Saturday.”

“Uh-” The Stark stuttered.

“And it’s break.”

“Oh, shut up." She smirked, "Tell my brother I said 'hi.'” Smile pulling downwards on her lips playfully. 

You laughed softly in the quiet of the room, and bid her a goodbye. 

Sara and Helaena had been on and off for longer than you had known Helaena, and was actually how you met Cregan. Sara had set it up after a night of drinking together, and Helaena had only encouraged you to ‘let your freak fly’.

Cregan was amazing. Tall, kind, smart and with a handsomeness that only Northerners had, with these dark brown eyes that you could get lost in. 

But in saying that, you weren’t compatible in anything other than sex or casual friendship. You had been sleeping together for a few months when he wanted more, and you weren’t ready for that. And so you had ended the little tryst that you had, and parted on good terms. Amicable terms.

For a while, the two of you hadn’t spoken, letting Cregan have space from you to process what had happened, but eventually you had received a text to meet up for a coffee one day, and decided you were better off being friends. 

Who fucked. 

Occasionally. 

Helaena exited her room shortly after, her silver hair messy and wearing an oversized t-shirt that hung to her mid thighs, a large centipede with a hat on the front. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” You sang to her, watching as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. 

“Why are you up so early?” She grumbled, clearly not having gotten much sleep. 

“There’s an antique market down in the square and I thought we could go and get some trinkets.” You smiled, watching as her eyes came alight.

“Trinketville.” She spoke in a high pitched voice.

“Yup!”

Shuffling her feet towards you, she leant over the back of the couch, “When does it start?”

“Started around 7.” You grabbed your phone to look at the screen, “It’s only 8:40, so if you quickly get dressed I can drive us down and get us a park.”

“Yay!” Helaena chirped, spinning back into her room suddenly alive.

As she walked away you called out to her, “Saw Sara sneak out.”

“Huh?” Helaena yelled back.

“I saw Sara this morning!”

Helaena stuck her head out from the door, hiding her naked body behind its frame, cheeks tinged pink, “Please don’t tell me you said anything.” She winced.

“I just said good morning.” You said coyly, watching as Helaena sighed in exacerbation before going back into her room.

“You know,” You called out, standing to put your mug in the dishwasher, “You don’t have to hide her in your room. I don’t hide Cregan.”

Helaena stepped out wearing a pair of pale denim overalls, and a soft yellow shirt underneath, socks and doc martins in hand, “Yeah well, you haven’t dated Cregan.”

“I mean we kind of did.” You shrugged, leaning against the side of the couch as she sat at the small dining table to put her shoes and socks on. 

“Fucking him on the couch doesn’t count as dating.”

It was your time to blush, “Close enough.”

Helaena snorted, lacing up her boots, “Aren’t you going to get dressed?” She eyed you up and down, one brow raised. 

You looked down at yourself. You were in an old busted t-shirt which had far too many holes to make it physically sound, and beneath you wore some old track pants and slides. 

“Whats wrong with what I’m wearing?” You asked, offence in your tone.

“What’s right with it?” Helaena grimaced, “Go get actually dressed you slob. What if there’s someone cute at the markets?”

“I will have no time for cuties as I will be too lost in the joys of finding the ultimate trinkets for my collection.” You sniffed, raising your chin in defiance. 

“Borderline hoarding at this point.”

You gasped, “Hey! Says you Miss Insects.”

“Go get dressed,” Helaena insisted leaving no room for argument, “Then we will head out. Do you think they’ll have coffee?”

You laughed, “Yeah, there should be a truck.”

When you were dressed and ready, you drove yourself and Helaena down to the markets, already full of people and bursting with life.

Many people brought their dogs with them and to your delight, an old man people called Maester Orwyle was seen walking his white Persian cat inside of a pram. The cat sat with her paws crossed in front of her as she watched everyone walking past, the occasional hiss given to the dogs that passed her or children who got too close. 

Helaena giggled loudly as you both passed it, moving to look at another antique jewellery stand, Helaena’s eyes immediately spotting a small, gold, dragonfly pin. Its wings had emeralds on its tips and a larger one as its head. 

She held the pin in her hand, uncertain if she should get it or not, the old man behind the table trying to sell it to her. 

“It’s real gold, 14 karats. Real emeralds too. A pretty broach for a pretty girl.”

Helaena smiled politely though you knew she wished to move away.

“Come on Hel, when will you ever find something like that again?” You encouraged her. Her lip was caught between her teeth as she thought.

Looking up at the greying man behind the table, you asked for the price, “How much?”

“$70.” The man replied.

Helaena moved to put the pin back down, “It’s too expensive.” She said quietly.

“Nonsense.” You whispered back. “I’ll give you forty for it.” You looked at the man. 

“Forty is too low. I’ll do sixty.”

“Fifty.” You counted.

“Y/n.” Helaena hissed.

The old man hummed as he look at the two of you before he nodded, “Fifty then.”

You looked at Helaena triumphantly and watched as she sheepishly gave the man the money, clutching the pin in her hand as the two of you walked away.

“I hate when you do that. It's so embarrassing. You’re like my grandpa.”

“Did you just compare me to Otto?” You grimaced, remembering your interactions with the stiff older man. He was rather cold, and barely spoke a word to you unless to correct you, but he would brighten up when speaking to Helaena considerably. 

“You leave him alone, he’s old.”

You hummed in response. 

“You’ll get along with Aemond just fine if you keep that up.” Helaena teased and you stuck your tongue out at her, moving to look at some old books. 

You picked up an old heavy leather book, which looked to have been buried in dust. You opened the cover gently and looked at the front page. Your eyes widened. 

“Helaena!” You hissed, grabbing her to your side as you looked down at the book in your hand, “This is a First Edition.” You quietly whispered. 

“Looks like the worst edition.” She giggled and you elbowed her in the side.

“Seriously Hel, these are so hard to come across! It’s ‘The Lovers of Queen Nymeria’ too, this is like old old.” You explained, excitement racing through your veins, “These are seriously hard to get a hold of!”

“God, you and Aemond are the same. I swear my dad had that in his library.”

You snorted, “Yeah, well, not all of us come from royalty, Hel. I come from a long line of peasants, which I-“

“Oh, cut it out.” She griped.

You let yourself laugh, holding the book in your hands in wonder, “They’re probably asking for hundreds for this. God, I can’t believe I’m even able to touch it right now!”

Helaena looked up at the young man who had the stall, “Excuse me, could you please tell us the price of this book?”

“Hel, it’ll be way out of my price range.” You sighed quietly.

The man turned and came over, looking at the book in your hands, “I’ll give it to you for $20.” He said with disinterest, looking at the worn cover. 

“$20?!” You said in disbelief, shock crawling through you.

“We’ll take it!” Helaena responded quickly, handing he man $20 from her small silver purse. 

“Hel, I’m paying for it.”

“Nope!” She popped the ‘p’ as you moved away, holding the book in your hands in shock. “This is my gift to you, plus you saved me the money for the pin, aaaand you can take it as me buttering you up because mumboughtmeanearlierflight.” The last part of her sentance was speedily blurted as she turned to look at you, offering you a remorseful smile. 

“You bitch.” You narrowed your eyes at her, “You’re lucky I love you.”

You walked side by side, looking at the rest of the stalls, finding some fun little things before the two of you decided to go home, exhausted from walking around in the hot sun for hours. 

When you arrived back at the apartment, Helaena slumped onto the couch the two of you had found on the street years back. It was a light brown velvet, with dark wood detailing. An absolute classic.

The silver haired girl sighed, tugging her bag onto her lap as she begun to line up her buys of the day on the table. 

You joined her, placing your book on the table followed by a small, vintage, golden mirror and a large candle holder for your room. Helaena had bought her pin, a small blue skirt with little green beetles on it, as well as a large framed Luna Moth.

You let your head drop to her shoulder, “I’m going to miss you.” You whined, tapping your head onto the bone of her shoulder. 

“You big baby, I’ll be back in no time.”

“But you’re leaving me on breaaaak. What about all the hotties we were going to pick up at the bars?” 

Helaena laughed loudly as she rested her head against the top of yours, “Plenty of time to do that when I get back.”

You grunted, “Don’t act like you didn’t tell me you are leaving earlier. You said end of the week.” You pulled away and looked at her with your eyes narrowed, “When are you leaving now?”

“Tomorrow.” Helaena sighed.

“Tomorrow?! What!”

Helaena began to fiddle with her hands in her lap, her pale fingers picking at the skin at her nails. You watched as Helaena became quiet, shut in, and a sudden wave of anxiety moved through you. 

“Hel, what’s wrong? Has Sara done something?” You questioned, head dipping to try and catch her eyes.

“Dads sick.”

Your brows furrowed as you looked at her, “Has he gotten worse?” You asked softly.

Helaena’s dad had been sick for a long time, when you had met her she was worried, but knew there was nothing that she could do. Her visits to her family home back then were frequent, but as time went on, her visits became less, and she had assured you that his team of carers and her mother could handle it.

“It’s not good.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” She gave you a sad smile, “It was going to happen one day or another. Mum wants us to go back to see them at the Keep, so I’m going to Daeron’s to get him and we will go together.”

“But what about Aemond? Will he be going with you?”

Helaena let out a quiet breath, “Dad doesn’t have the best relationship with Aem and Egg. Pretty sure my sister will be at the Keep with my nephews, and well,” She paused, and you knew why, “You know Aem doesn’t have a good relationship with them.”

You remembered the day Helaena had told you about Aemond’s fight with Lucerys when they were kids and the accident. You had felt terrible hearing the news, but now understood why tensions in the family were so strained. Not to mention that Helaena’s sister Rhaenyra, from his first marriage, was largely favoured over his other three children.

But from all accounts that Helaena had told you, Rhaenyra was a lovely woman, and incredibly kind to her.

You grabbed Helaena’s hand and held it, “Let me know if you need me to come, yeah? Or need anything of me. I mean anything. You need me, I’ll be there.” 

Helaena gave you a gentle smile as she nodded, “Thanks, but I’ll be okay. Maybe you could come to the Keep and stay a week or something once I'm settled.”

“Will that hunky Criston be there?” You waggled your eyebrows at her.

Helaena's face morphed into disgust, “Ewww. I don’t see what you see in him.”

“What? He’s hot, plus him being your mums bodyguard makes it so much hotter.”

“He’s not her bodyguard.” Helaena argued.

“Sure, then he just follows her around like a lost puppy and is paid to look pretty. Anyhow, when is Aemond coming since you go tomorrow?” You rested your head back against her shoulder, fiddling with her hand in her lap as you wiggled her fingers with yours.

“He said he’d be driving his old chevy Vhagar in, so who knows how long that will take. If it doesn’t break down on the way.” Helaena snickered.

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3

Taglist:

@mrstargayen09 @iamavailablesstuff @malfoytargaryen @hogwarts1207 @diannnnsss

Bold is who I cannot tag

[hotxcheeto]

hi nevy! could u do a chloe X fem!reader but they have a secret relationship? the reader’s friends (victoria, nathan, basically the whole vortex) don’t like chloe at all. meaning the reader would have to sneak out at night to go see chloe. & if ur willing, could u add some angsty smut since chloe really doesn’t wanna be kept a secret anymore? thank u in advance

━ 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Chloe Price x Fem!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, angst, smut, fluff sprinkled throughout, teasing, v fingering ( r! receiving ), kissing, talk of cheating ( no actual cheating ), mean names ( nate and chloe don't like each other )

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - Damn this sucks

REBLOG MY WORK! I WORK HARD! ITS APPRECIATED!

Your dorm room was almost silent, almost.

"I just don't get why you hang out with that weirdo." Victoria said, fixing her eye makeup while sitting at the vanity you had in your room. "Because she's my friend, Vic, just like you are."

Victoria huffed, but nodded nonetheless, looking at you in the reflection as you laid staring at your ceiling. Your mouth picking up where it had first left off,

"And she's not weird. A handful? Yes. Weird? She leaves that part to me." Victoria chuckled at your joke, standing up and walking over to your bed, crossing her arms as she glanced down at you.

"Whatever, I'm just glad you didn't fall for that puppy love crush she had on you. What a lame gimmick." You hummed, feeling the bed dip as she sat down, your door opening at almost the exact same time.

"I thought it was cute." You muttered, messing with a ring on your finger that the topic of conversation herself had gifted you. "What's cute?" Nathan's voice interrupted, the door then shutting.

"Nothing." Victoria stared at you for a moment as you spoke, her eyes then turning to Nathan. "Where the fuck have you been?" He scoffed, sitting beside your head. "What are you? My dad?"

He pulled out something from his pocket that you couldn't see, instead you focused on the way he smelled like old cologne and weed. Victoria's nails tickling your calf as she waited for him to light the joint.

"She's just worried, Nate." He grunted inaudible in response, taking a hit of the blunt before passing it to Victoria. "She should be worried about you. I seen you hanging with that punk ass blue haired bitch, again."

He dragged out his last word, glancing down at you while you only rolled your eyes. Looking away and towards your photo wall, which include said punk ass in a selfie you had made her take with you just a few days before.

"You don't know her." He grabbed the joint from Victoria's perfectly manicured fingers, "You'd be fucking surprised, Y/n/n." "She's done nothing you haven't"

Victoria watched you both go back and forth for a moment, leaning against your headboard. Smoke slowly swirling from her lips

"Whatever, don't come crying to me when she fucks you over." Giggling, you finally sat up, gesturing for the joint. "Sure Natie."

"Aw, Natie, we both know you're soft and squishy inside." Victoria commented, the boy glaring you both down as laughter filled the dorm. "Shut the fuck up, for the love of God."

"Why can't you hang out Saturday again?"

"I have a-"

"Vortex club party, right."

Letting out a sigh, your head teetered to the left to look at her in the driver's side seat. Hand gripping her steering wheel while the other rested on your thigh, tapping along to the beat on the radio.

"Chlo, we can hang out Friday and Sunday. Promise." Your blue haired girlfriend turned her head, taking her eyes off the road to give you a glare. "Why can't I come?"

Taking a deep inhale, Chloe liked watching you squirm at the question. Laying your cheek against your knuckles while watching the trees pass by.

"You know they don't like you, I'm still warming them up. Doesn't help you bought drugs off Nate and then threatened him-" She laughed which cut you off, her grip becoming tighter. "Right, my fault he's a pretentious, rich, dickhead."

"Chloe, he is not that bad once you realize why he acts how he is." The truck then whipped into the driveway of your house, coming to a stop as she turned to look at you. "Right."

"I didn't judge you based on how you acted. I knew there was a reason you did." With that you opened the door and got out, leaving her sitting there in silence while trying to come up with a response.

Though you thought she was going to leave, like planned, the sound of the driver side door opening and closing said otherwise.

"Damn, don't let the door hit me." She smiled only when you did, following after you and into your house. Close behind while observing you set down your belongings on your kitchen counter.

"I promise Chlo, I will tell them about you when the time is right." The inside of her cheek sucked in, and you could tell she was frustrated. But she didn't stop listening.

"I just want a better relationship between you and them before I tell them about us. They worry about me." She hummed but didn't say anything, the wordlessness overly abnormal.

"I worry about you too, but sure, Victoria's probably single I mean I'm sure she'd love to-" "Chloe Elizabeth Price, that is not what I mean and you know it."

Her mouth shut as she stared, her head cocked to the side while that stupid expression pointed at you.

"Max worries about you. I'm not accusing you of wanting her or vice versa, am I?" With her head thrown back, she groaned, following you to your room. "Babe, I'm sorry." You opened your door, walking towards your bed. "I know. I am too, I'm just trying to keep the peace between people I really care about."

Chloe watched as you began to change into your loungewear, talking as you tossed your shirt away.

"Nate and Vic are coming around. I just need a little more time."

You turned around at her unresponsiveness, noticing her leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

"What?" She shook her head, "Nothing. Just admiring the view. You're hot when you're worked up." You stood now in only your bra and whatever bottoms you chose that morning, placing your hands on your hips.

"Is that so?" "Yeah, actually." Humming and nodding your head, you turned away from her. Unclipping the garment and tossing it away with the rest of your clothes from the day.

"You can't distract me by flirting Chloe."

Quickly you stripped yourself of your lower clothing, stepping out at the same time two cold hands landed on your belly.

"Chloe!" Her laughter was audible from her place in the crook of your neck, "You should just tell them already, no matter what they're gonna be mad." "You know why I can't do that. Nate would flip his shit, since y'know, you threatened him."

"Who cares what that asshole thinks about me." You pulled away from her, putting a shirt over your head and turning around. "I do, because he's one of my best friends."

She could tell that once again, she'd upset you. Rolling her eyes and falling onto your bed while watching you search for a pair of shorts.

"And I'm your secret hookup, color me stoked, hotstuff." You turned, practically fuming at this point, slamming your drawer shut in the process. Balling up your shorts in your hand just out of frustration.

"Fuck you, Chloe."

Her stare wasn't on your pissed off face, though, when you walked over to her. She was watching how your hips swayed instead, your bare skin being kissed by the yellow glow of your lamp.

"You know that's not true." She let out a strained laugh, snatching the shorts from your hold. "Do I?" Chloe asked.

"Don't start with that." Chloe smiled at that, or smirked, you didn't notice either because you were trying to get your bottoms back.

"I think I will."

Her cold hand landed on thigh, pushing you forward and tumbling into her lap. Her shoulders became a support beam as you tried not to fall against her.

"We're like Romeo and Juliet." You stated, trying to lighten the mood and pretend you didn't want to pluck her eyes from her head.

"Only Juliet won't tell her evil fucked up family because they don't like that Romeo doesn't suck the Vortex Club's dick." Chloe replied, her fingers slipping between your thighs making you shiver.

And as she inched closer, the more and more you wanted to press your lower half downward to meet her touch. A light throbbing pain beginning to envelop the area between your legs.

"Chloe-" "I want you to tell them." The pad of her finger brushed over your clit, a tiny little gasp escaping your lips. "I can't yet..." She laughed. "Who the fuck said that?"

You opened your mouth to reply but nothing came out. Her hand gathered your wetness while slowly beginning to circle your little bundle of nerves.

"That's what I thought." You glanced down, gripping her forearm as she played with you. Toying with your needy entrance while enjoying the tiny twitches your face made.

Her tattooed arm moving back and forth just enough to make you want more.

"You're such a dick." You mumbled, "Says the one keeping me a secret." You wanted to complain, you really did, but not a word came out. "I don't give a shit whether or not I meet Nathan Bitchscott's standards. But apparently you do."

"No- no I don't Chloe-"

It wasn't just you she was working up now, it was herself as well. Chloe's jaw clenching in aggravation at her own thoughts, but that stupid smile stuck.

And soon it grew wider when two of her fingers plunged inside of your cunt, a much louder sound admitting into the air. You thanked everything that no one was home. Helplessly listening to the wet sounds of her moving in and out at an agonizingly moderate pace.

"Then tell them, because I'm sick of waiting." Her other hand snaked up towards the back of your head. Pushing you towards her mouth to catch you in a kiss. Her lips tasted like cigarettes and the soda you'd given her earlier in the day.

"Unless you're embarrassed? You embarrassed of me, hotstuff?"

She chuckled as you shook your head, a pout on your lips as she kissed you again. Her long fingers reached each and every little spot that made you hum against her open mouth.

"Faster, please.." And like you commanded, her hand sped up. Your body practically locking up against hers, your thighs shaking to hold the rest of you from toppling your girlfriend.

And closer and closer you inched towards your high. Beginning to sweat and pant, holding her, pleading silently, asking for release.

"Come on..." You kissed her once more, your legs giving out as your weight fell against Chloe. Her fingers still moving in and out, your hips humping against her hand which soon allowed a third finger inside.

Her mouth then got close to your ear. Her warm breath tickling your skin as she fucked into you. The pads of her fingers running up and down your walls.

"You tell them, or I take my hand away. How's that fucking idea?"

The noise you made sounded unholy, thighs clamping around her hand.

"I will, I will I promise, please Chloe- fuck." You whined the last word, her digits running along your special spot again and again as you stared into her eyes. "I will please, please let me cum."

Her other hand gripped the inside of your thigh, pulling them apart once again.

"Promise?" She watched your head move up and down quickly as you agreed, "I promise, Chlo, I promise." You whimpered, riding her hand as you tried your hardest to keep yourself close, despite her slowing.

Always the tease.

"Yeah?" Again you nodded over and over until she finally sped up, fucking into you at an unruly pace. Her palm hitting against your clit just right to the point of you crying out into the crook of her neck.

"M'close Chlo- please..."

"Fuck just- let go babe."

And you did, as the coil grew tighter and tighter, her neck vibrated as you moaned. Shaking as your hips sputtered against her knuckles. Pulling away just to kiss her lips, her throat swallowing up your sounds.

"M'sorry.." You muttered against her lips as you pulled back, your hand still holding her wrist that was between your thighs.

"You're gonna tell them, right?"

"Mhm." You nod, earning a sweet smile from your girlfriend.

"Thanks hot stuff."

[acknowledge-reigns]

Worst To Me (Roman Reigns x Black!fem oc SMUT! 18+!!!)

Description: After Roman loses his title he knows the perfect way to blow off some steam.

Warnings: Dom/sub dynamic, masochist sub!oc, sadist Dom!Roman but obviously ssc, nipple play, spanking, rough sex, dirty talk, name calling (slut/slutty, toy.), petnames (babygirl, sweetness), edging, hair pulling/tugging, begging, marking/love bites, creampie, Honorifics (My tribal Chief. Daddy).

Song: Worst To Me by Noah Davis.

Other stories featuring Roman x Lilah include: Jealous, 34+35, There Goes My Baby and Nonsense.

My entire Masterlist can be found here.

Face claim: Jaylon Barron

Again, MDNI!!! THIS IS AN 18+ FAN FICTION. As always my stories are about Roman Reigns NOT Joe Anoa'i. Mostly smut with sprinkles of Angst and Fluff.

As Roman walked backstage, frustration and anger coursed through his veins. How fucking dare they. Seth, Jey, Sami. Every person who he ever loved that had stabbed him in the back had to just cost him the title. He lost to Cody fucking Rhodes of all people. He knew he needed to release some tension.

Lilah was always there to provide him with what he needed - she craved that pain and pleasure in equal measure as much as he craved giving it to her. A perfect little canvas for him to mark up. To make her scream and writhe, whimper and moan. Bring back his sense of control.

Tonight, she would be the one who helped him forget about everything else. She was waiting for him in his private locker room, wearing nothing but red and black lingerie that hugged her curves perfectly just as he'd instructed her to before he went out for his match.

Without a single word he grabbed her roughly by the waist and pinned her against the wall, his strong arms holding her in place as he pressed his lips against hers with a force that left no room for questioning who's in charge here. She moaned softly into the kiss and arched her back towards him, eager to feel more of his touch but he paused.

"Safeword, babygirl?" Roman questioned.

"Pickles, My Tribal Chief." Lilah responded.

"Good. Remember it, Sweetness because I'm not gon' go easy on you tonight." He stated as he began exploring every inch of her body with rough hands having made quick work of undoing her bra.

"Do your worst." Lilah teased.

With a smirk he began squeezing and pinching her hardened little nipples, taking his time enjoying her reactions as he twisted them. She squirmed beneath him, begging for mercy through whimpers and gasps.

Roman ignored her pleas, since none of them were their agreed upon safe word and continued to unleash his pent-up frustration on her body. He grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked it back, exposing the delicate curve of her neck where he sank his teeth into the tender flesh without hesitation. She let out a cry of pain that quickly turned into moans of utter bliss as he sucked hard enough to leave marks all over her.

Fuck. He was marking his territory. As if he were saying 'They can take my title, they can take everything else but can't nobody take my woman'.

Roman smirked, he knew she was enjoying every second of it, even though she pretended otherwise. He let go of her hair and spun her around so that she was facing away from him, giving him access to that plump juicy ass he loved so much. With a low growl, he pulled down her panties and spanked her hard enough to make her gasp and illicit a nice appealing jiggle.

He spanked her repeatedly, alternating between left and right sides with each blow. The sound of his palm meeting her flesh echoed through the room, mingling with their heavy breathing. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.

"You forgetting to thank your Tribal Chief huh? I know my little toy knows better than that." Roman spat oozing dominance from his very core that left her breathless as he slapped her ass harder.

"Fuck! Thank you, My Tribal Chief." Lilah cried out.

He felt his anger and frustration slowly dissipating as he lost himself in the sensation of punishing Lilah. He grabbed her by the hips and lifted her up, carrying her towards a nearby bench where he bent her over with ease. He could manhandle her like a little rag doll, in truth he could probably manhandle most anyone that way if he wanted to. He's Roman Reigns.

Roman positioned himself behind her. Lilah felt his hot breath against her skin and then the unmistakable sensation of him entering her from behind. He started thrusting hard and fast, using all his strength to claim every inch of her body as his own. His. Something Cody can't take. Something Seth can't take. Something Jey can't take.

Lilah let out a moan as Roman pounded into her relentlessly. She could feel herself getting closer and closer to the edge with each passing second, but she knew better than to beg for release before he was ready to give it. Not when he was like this. He needed to feel completely in control.

His hands gripped her hips tightly, keeping her in place as he felt his own pleasure building up inside him as he continued to ravage Lilah's body. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "I love those pretty little noises you make you hear me? You gon' let the whole locker room hear you fucking acknowledge me." Roman said.

She was unable to form coherent words with the way he was making her feel. With a wicked grin on his face, Roman increased the pace of his thrusts. "I own this fucking pussy. I will always own this fucking pussy." Roman growled, "Say it!" he demanded.

"You own this fucking pussy" Lilah repeated barely between moans.

"Say it again. Say it again. Louder." Roman ordered.

"You own this fucking pussy, daddy." She stated as loud and clear as she could.

"That's what I thought. This slutty little pussy acknowledges me." Roman let out that smug little chuckle he does.

Roman could feel himself getting closer to the edge but He slowed down his pace and focused on hitting all the right spots inside Lilah, causing her body to shudder with pleasure. She let out a series of high-pitched moans that filled the room with an intoxicating energy. This is control. This is power.

He continued to tease Lilah, bringing her right to the brink of orgasm before pulling away just in time. He enjoyed seeing her squirm beneath him, desperate for release but unable to do anything about it without his permission. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of denial and torture, he let go completely and allowed himself to be consumed by the pleasure. Lilah let out a scream of ecstasy as she reached her peak, her body convulsing with waves of pleasure that seemed to go on forever and ever. Roman followed suit soon after, his own release hitting him like a tidal wave as he buried himself deep inside her one final time filling her with his seed.

After cleaning up and catching their breath, Roman led Lilah over to the locker room couch where they could relax in each other's arms. He wrapped his muscular arms around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head gently. "Are you okay?" he asked softly as he stroked her hair back from her face. "That was... intense."

"I should be asking you that. I know what that title meant to you." Lilah said.

Roman sighed and pulled her even closer, his expression growing serious. "It did mean a lot to me," he admitted quietly. "But at the end of the day, it's just a belt. It doesn't define who I am. I'll always be Roman Reigns." He paused for a moment before continuing. "What matters most is that we stay together through thick and thin, no matter what happens. Belt or no belt."

"Wait, is that what all this was about? you were worried I'd leave you if you aren't champion?" Lilah asked softly.

Roman looked away for a moment, embarrassed that he'd let his insecurities get the best of him. "Maybe," he admitted reluctantly. "I know it sounds stupid now, but I guess deep down I was afraid you'd stop loving me if I wasn't on top anymore."

There it was. That trauma rearing it's ugly head. People leave. Seth left. Jey left. Sami left. Hell, Dean left. That same trauma that cost him his damn title tonight.

Lilah smiled softly and reached up to caress Roman's cheek. "Hey, listen to me," she said gently. "You don't need a title to be worthy of my love. You are an incredible person with so much talent and potential that it takes my breath away sometimes. I will always love and acknowledge you." She paused for a moment before adding, "No matter what".

Roman felt a lump form in his throat as he listened to Lilah's words. He knew she was being sincere and that her love for him ran deep, but it still didn't completely erase the doubts that had been nagging at him ever since he lost the title. "I appreciate everything you just said," he finally managed to choke out after a few moments of silence. "But I can't help feeling like I let everyone down when I lost my title.. The family.. I was supposed to keep us at the top of the mountain."

Lilah nodded in understanding and wrapped her arms around Roman's neck, pulling him close. "I know how much it means to you," she said softly. "But the truth is, no one can keep us at the top forever. Sometimes we have to take a step back and rebuild before we can come out stronger than ever. You did it for four years, Roman. That's special." She said

Roman smiled at Lilah's words and kissed her gently on the forehead. "You always know just what to say," he said softly. "I don't know where I would be without you." He pulled her closer and held her tightly, feeling grateful for her love and support. Roman and Lilah stayed cuddled up on the locker room couch for a while longer, enjoying each other's company and trying to forget about the stresses of their professional lives. Eventually, though, they knew that it was time to get back out there and face whatever challenges lay ahead. Just not right now.

[zablife]

Broken Promises

Henry Johnson/Michael Gray x fiancee reader

Summary: When your fiancé leaves you at the altar, you go in search of answers in a frightening, new city. As you close in on him, you find that you aren't prepared for the man he has become.

Author's Note: Requested by a lovely anon.

Warnings: broken engagement, implied SA, mention of execution, Michael being an ass, heavy angst

1921, Kent

As your grandmother's shaky hands finished pinning your veil in place, she beamed with pride. "Even more beautiful than your mother was when she wore it," she mused, wiping a tear from her eye. "I only wish she was here to see you, love."

"I have you," you reminded her, reaching forward to wrap your arms around the only family member you had left in the world.

Prying you away from her delicate frame, she gazed upon you with affection that creased every well worn line of her soft skin. Eyes glistening with tears, you noted a tinge of sadness as she admitted, "But now you have Henry." Squeezing your hands for emphasis, she confided, "I'm glad he'll be here to look after you when I'm gone."

You wanted to tell her that wouldn't be for a long time, but a sharp knock interrupted your thoughts. "Is the bride ready?" a cheerful voice chirped from the other side.

Opening the heavy oak door, you were greeted warmly by your future mother-in-law, cheeks as rosy as the apples in her orchard as she bustled into the room to add her compliments. "Aren't you a beauty!" she exclaimed.

"You're too kind," you demurred as she proceeded to tell you how pleased she was for her son.

"Have you seen Henry this morning? Is he well?" you asked excitedly, wondering how your love had fared the night before.

Since your meeting two years ago, at the tender age of sixteen, neither of you had gone a day without meeting at the wishing well at the center of your village. Sitting upon the shining white bricks, you shared the small details of your day. It might have seemed mundane to others, but it gave you a sense of comfort to know there was nothing you didn't share with one another.

Rosemary shook her head with a good natured chuckle as she admitted, "You know, in all the fuss, I haven't seen my own son!"

Her lighthearted reply made you giggle because she was accustomed to such lapses, forgetting the bread in the oven or leaving her spectacles tucked in a book.

Then in classic fashion, she overshared a bit as she patted your hand, "You know you needn't worry about the stag party. He promised his father he'd only drink mild."

"I'm not worried, Mrs. Johnson," you replied, stifling a laugh.

"Rosemary, dear," she corrected you. "And I'm certain if he isn't here, he'll be along shortly."

You nodded in agreement, smiling to yourself in the full length mirror as you brushed the lace away from your face to study your reflection carefully.

---------------------

1924, Birmingham

The curtains in your bedsit flapped lightly in the wind, waking you with a start. A cough erupted from your lungs, unaccustomed to the smoke filled air of the city. What could have brought your fiancee to this God forsaken place?, you wondered as you rushed to close the window.

You made yourself a cup of tea and sat quietly watching the passersby, hoping by some miracle Henry would stroll by, though you knew from the papers he was locked away in a prison cell. Or at least, that's what you'd come to believe after staring at the smudged ink for too long, convinced he was now a man called Micheal Gray. Though it turned your stomach to think he was accused of murdering a priest, it was the only lead you'd found in three years time.

But in the fortnight since your arrival, you hadn't learned anything new, despite your efforts. The only other trace of Henry since your wedding had been an unreliable account by a lad who claimed he saw he a strange man with a scar speaking with Henry weeks before your wedding, rumors of a new life in Birmingham sprinkled into the conversation.

As you gazed down at the ring languishing on your finger, you wondered if he ever thought of you late at night, yearning for those moments of connection by the well. Did he even care that he'd left you all alone at the altar or worse yet, at the graveside of your beloved grandmother a month later? The heart break had nearly been too difficult to bear.

Now all you had to guide you was a whisper, a faded conversation in which Henry had been lured by the promises of a dark, foreboding stranger. This was probably why you'd forgiven his lapse of judgement, the concern for his wellbeing outweighing the anger you held in your heart. However, the second ring you wore, your grandmother's gold band, burned your skin as it reminded you of your worth which was far more than that assigned to you by your absent lover.

The combination of curiosity and indignation propelled you forward, day by day, searching the city for those who could provide answers. Usually the day ended with aching feet and a rumbling stomach, but today your efforts would be rewarded by a chance encounter with a dark haired woman, children clinging to her skirts.

You were buying a loaf of bread in the market when one of their small hands began to reach for you, their mother scolding them with a harsh slap.

"It's alright," you assured her. "Far too much for me on my own. I'm glad to share."

"Thank you," the wild eyed woman remarked, accepting your generosity. "Times are hard with my husband away. Yours locked up as well?" she ventured, casting a look at your ring.

Unsure how to reply, you lowered your eyes to the cobblestones beneath your feet as she prattled on about her John and how he'd been falsely accused thanks to her evil brother-in-law. "Not just him, mind you, everyone else in the family," she bemoaned as she fed the bread to her children. "Arthur, Polly, Michael..." she rambled absently as she tore the crust apart in even pieces.

"Did...did you say Michael? As in Michael Gray?" you stuttered hopefully.

"You know him?" she asked, head jerking up at the mention of his surname.

"Yes," you admitted, on an uneven breath. "Do you know where I can find him?"

-----------------

It was thru her suggestion that you met with the inspector bringing charges in the case. Chester Campbell was a disagreeable man, but the only one willing to discuss matters with you privately. For that you thanked him profusely, though in an hour's time you would not have done the same.

He had only one motive in sequestering you inside an interrogation room and the instant the door slammed behind you, your heart sank with the bitter realization of his true intentions. If you wanted Michael free, or if you wanted your own freedom for that matter, he suggested you comply with every devilish command he gave.

By the time he was finished, you were shaking in violent convulsions. As he draped a coat around you to conceal the tattered remains of your dress, you slipped away into the bustling street with an official document clutched tightly to your chest. It was your only solace in those dark hours that followed, waiting for the promised release of the man you only hoped would never learn of your sacrifice.

----------------------

You entered a new state of watchful waiting those next few days as you kept regular meetings with Esme. She kept you abreast of the news regarding the trial, mostly family matters that wouldn't be known to reporters. And though she urged you to see Michael before it was too late, you found yourself averse to the idea until one fateful day.

Finding Esme slumped over in a fit of grief, you ran to her. "What's happened?" you begged.

"Ain't you seen the papers?" she wailed.

You only shook your head in ignorance, a hand stroking along her back as she pitched forward in garbled cries. "They're....they're being executed."

The blood froze in your veins as you processed her words, wondering if this was truly the end of it all.

"You're sure?" you asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. As she nodded against your shoulder you had only one question left. "When?"

"At dawn."

---------------------

The next morning you waited by the prison gate, hands pounding against the splintering wood until your fists were raw and aching. But no one paid any attention to the woman raving beneath their window. And who could blame them when you pleaded for the life of a killer?

By the time the clock tower struck twelve, you knew in your heart that the deed was done. Henry? Micheal? Whoever the man you once loved had been in life was no more. You sank to your knees and sobbed in a way you hadn't allowed yourself since your wedding day. Three long years of pain and sacrifice for this, you thought.

As the sun dipped toward the horizon, you finally found the strength to pick yourself up and amble toward the road. However, a harsh creak of metal stopped you in your tracks. Turning to face the path you'd just walked, you could hardly believe your eyes as you caught sight of Henry standing bruised and battered, but alive nonetheless.

Your breath caught in your throat as your hand reached out toward him involuntarily, years of longing superseding your rational mind. "H-henry?" you called to him.

The man before you furrowed his brow for a moment as he reached into his pocket for a cigarette. He looked as though he were lost in a daze as he took his time lighting it, the glowing match in his hand quivering slightly. You could tell that the years had aged him, but not beyond total recognition. Somewhere beneath the hardened exterior was the boy you knew long ago in the countryside and you longed for him to hold you in his arms once more.

However, your daydream was cut short when he replied gruffly, "What do you want?"

You stepped toward him cautiously, head tilted as you took in his disheveled appearance. His waist coat was dirty and torn, pants far too short for his height and yet he still looked as handsome as you remembered. Then you wondered if perhaps he was having trouble recalling you as well due to the recent trauma.

"It's me...Y/n," you offered gently. "I came to find what became of you," you answered earnestly. "I...I was worried."

He raised his head to the sky, considering the passing clouds for a moment before blowing a lungful of smoke upward to join them. "Well you don't have to worry anymore. I'm fine," he assured you, placing the cigarette between pursed lips.

You shook your head at his cool detachment, eyes searching his for the hint of the caring young man you once knew. "You were sentenced to hang today and that's all you have to say, Henry?"

"That's not my name," he corrected you sternly. "I go by Michael now."

"Yes, I know," you mumbled in confusion.

"Look, if you came about our engagement..." he began, a threatening scowl crossing his face as he plucked the cigarette from his lips in a telling reveal he knew exactly who you were.

"No, I see that's long forgotten," you admitted with a heavy heart. "But I want you to know I still care for you deeply," you ventured on baited breath.

He hummed to himself gently as he nodded in agreement, "I know.." Then stilling all movement he replied without a hint of emotion, "The guards told me what you did."

Your body clenched in fear at the prospect of him learning your shameful secret, but you stood fast waiting to hear what else he might say. As his mouth curled into a small smile, you allowed yourself a morsel of hope, until he spat cruelly, "They thought it was funny."

You shifted uncomfortably before him, chest aching with shattered pride as he huffed out a humorless laugh at your expense.

"I suppose it is," he decided before turning his heel into the gravel decisively, leaving you alone in the freezing shade of the empty yard.

"Wait!" you shouted, racing toward him to capture his arm between desperate fingertips. "You can't mean that. I know you cared for me once too. What happened?" you begged, tears streaming down your face.

As he flicked his cigarette butt into the street, he eyed you in a side long glance. "You think you know me, but you never understood," he said with a shake of his head.

"That's not true," you insisted, twisting his arm to make him look at you. "You loved our life...you loved...me," you stuttered out between hiccuped sobs, all the pent up emotion rising to the surface. "Don't you remember all those wonderful afternoons we spent at the wishing well?"

The clench of his jaw and the ironlike grip against your hand frightened you, but it was nothing in comparison to the spiteful look in his eye when he finally faced you.

"Do you know all the times I thought about planting dynamite beneath those pretty white bricks to blow you to hell?" he seethed.

You jerked your hand away in terror just as he released you, falling to the ground with a painful thud. "Henry?" you mumbled as you looked up at him in shock.

"I already told you, that's not who I am anymore," he hissed before stalking away and as you watched him disappear into the smoke and fog, you finally had to concede that he was right. The boy who promised to cherish you forever was gone. He'd been replaced by some monster now wandering the dark and desolate streets of his new home, a place where you did not belong.

---------------

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[kleric-kunt]

How bout some sfw and nsfw Havik stuff? Like with a s/o who is shorter than him and loves him for him. You could do before or after the burn… (I got it bad for him, can’t get over how good he looks in mk1)

Understandable because I am so not normal about him.

Also I'm bonkers about a size kink so this is right up my alley

Warnings: talk of minor gore, explicit sexual content, just a sprinkle of angst

Nsfw under the cut >:3

SFW

-Havik loves that you're is shorter than him

-not because of some sort of power trip or anything. He just likes how cute you look, having to cran your head up to look at him

-he doesn't tease you about you're short stature, though. Not in a normal way, anyway

-none of that "why are you so smol" stuff. It's more like how you see a cat and pick it up by the scruff of its neck. The cuteness aggression kicks in and he just can't help but scoop you up and litter your face with licks and (gentle) bites

-this man would pick you up and toss you over his shoulder without hesitation just to because he can

-and if something is out of your reach and you ask him for help, he won't bother to grab it himself. He'll either pick you up and hold you up to what you need, or rip off his arm and say he's "giving you a hand"

-another thing he loves about you is how you accept him as he is. You don't try to change him or complain about his bouts of mania. He's so grateful for you and your gentle touch when he feels like he's about to crash. The way you gently cradle his scarred face almost makes him weep, and sometimes, he does

-Havik wouldn't dare shut you out, either, letting you see his vulnerability and care for him without fuss, just as he cares for you

-he's not very good with words, so instead of thank you's or apologies, he'll give you big bear hugs, wrapping you up in his strong embrace, bending down to bury his face in your neck

Nsfw

-oh man, don't get me started

-if it isn't already obvious, this guy has a size kink

-adding on to him loving to just toss you over his shoulder, Havik absolutely adores carrying you over to whatever place he deems suitable enough and pinning you down

-"Look at you. So small and cute...I'm going to eat you right up~"

-Havik nearly loses his mind when you comment about how big he is compared you you, and he can't help but get excited by the way he can bend you into different positions so easily

-and, despite his lack of lips, he's so very eager to go down, regardless of how you're built down there

-his tongue is rather skilled, plus he'll use his teeth if you ask. Adding a little bit of pain into the pleasurable experience of sex is something he is very fond of

-but I digress

-Havik wants to see you squirm, whether you're on top or beneath him. Feeling you squeeze his cock so snugly while you whine out his name has him reeling

-if you're on top, his hands will always be roaming. Hips, chest, ass, thighs, doesn't matter. He's gonna grope and squeeze all he can. He grips harder when he's close

- beneath him, he can be just as rough or gentle. He may be all about doing things his own way, but when it comes to you, he'll do just about anything you want

-Havik will do almost anything to please you, always holding his own climax back to make sure you feel as good as possible.

-plus he likes edging and orgasm denial

-make him beg he wants to be taken care of so bad

-such a small person being able to reduce him to a growling, moaning mess turns him on even more, his cock twitching and leaking until you finally grant him the sweet, sweet relief of your touch

-especially if he's bound. Tie him up and he's all yours :)

It's not my best, but I really hope you enjoy it! I'll have to jot these headcanons down as they pop into my head raaahh

[heart2beom]

Hellooo I’ve said this as an anon before but I absolutely love your writing! Unrelated, but I was wondering if you have any Beomgyu fic recommendations? I read everything I could in the long post containing fic recs on your previous 4beomy account and I loved every single one of them, but now I can’t find anything left so I’m just rereading my faves LOL Thank you! (And also, thank you for writing! Again, your fics make me so happy)

You’re sooo sweet, thank you for complimenting me not once but TWICE 😭😭?? In terms of recs, I honestly have no idea if I’ve read anything much lately so I had to quickly cruise through my likes both on here and my old blog 😭

I present to you the list of beomgyu fics I’ve decently enjoyed (hopefully no repeats from my other list):

-> Message in a Bottle by @delacyrose224

very cute stuff, best friends to lovers...everyone knows at this point, but i'll forever express my love for this basic ass trope (i literally have a full list of books for b2l. the best romance books come from this trope!!!). one thing i loved about this fic is the portrayal of beomgyu-- just a genuinely good guy. the way he was discreet about his jealousy instead of making a whole deal about it, like fuck i love a mature, healthy dynamic, its so freaking cute

-> Night In by @tqmies

a dark fic, but its so good. i especially liked the fantasy element/twist on a common trope. everything about this is well written but the ending will give you some heebie jeebies (cant believe i just used that) its some fucked up shit 😭 um but b2l beomgyu!! (shoot me in the head)

-> A Recipe for Love by @tinietaehyun

who doesnt love a good old b2l beomgyu roommate fluff!?!?! it's soooo freaking cute i swear i never giggled so much 😭 this writer in general is very good with words and imagery, it's incredibly vivid.

-> how could you not know? by @angelbythewindow

have you noticed the pattern? yeah, it's another b2l. i LOVED the use of flashbacks here and the cute usage of the childhood "beanpole" nickname like shut up do you want me to die? the emotions here were OVERPOWERING. i felt everything beomgyu felt, felt everything mc felt, it was just sosososososo well written.

-> Why We (Don't) Work by @cafeseoulmate

haha. definitely not another b2l!!! i never included this on my other blog's rec list (bcs i dont think it was out at the time) but it is my most recent reblog on 4beomy so i'm fairly sure you've seen it. but regardless, for anyone else who's looking for beomgyu fics, please please please READ THIS. i wouldn't say it's a plot sort of story, it builds off of a lot of flashbacks and whatnot, but that's what makes it so great. like you get a feel for their relationship, why both characters just wouldn't work out (hence the title) but then the more you read the more you're like...alright... YOU KNOW?? like fuck, i almost teared up by the end it was such a cute love confession. a must read for all the bamtoris.

-> slam dunk, lover boy by @qqtxt

just absolutely cute stuff. check out everything from this blog, just binge, you're guaranteed fluffy cuteness. nothing really happens between the two here, but its still really cute and ykw i wanted some change here, so this is a sprinkle of e2l beomgyu

-> Stood Up by @imaginidol

okay, it's angst, i'll be straight up. but idk it was an enjoyable read, even though a little sad at the end 😭

-> Moonflower by @sleeping-sirens

really sweet short stuff, i love beomgyu i swear

-> somniferous confessions by @gyu-xiao

i don't usually read bulleted fics (this is the only one i've read actually 😭) but this is worth the read. i genuinely squealed a few times, giggled like tons, it was so adorable i loved it.

-> be my date by @blossom-hwa

honestly a little bit of a blur, i read this ages ago, but it's good because blossom hwa wrote it like trust me.

-> i know i love you by @universecorp

tried really hard to not include smut but this is definitely a little more plot driven than it is smut, it's sweet. a little angsty but i love it. smut at the end is definitely skippale, just concluding it as the fact that they made love is cute enough too 😭

-> check yes, juliet by @fairyofthestar

-> Yours Truly by @boba-beom

so so freaking cute. we're back with the b2ls but who cares, we all know it fits him so well!!!

-> old friend by @hueningshaped

a little bit of a spin on the fake dating trope and i love it. exes pretending to be lovers? hello? i'm so happy the ending wasn't hard hitting 😭

Fics I'm looking forward to read:

-> The Case by @tinietaehyun

not beomgyu centered but idk i love everything this person has written so far so i'm going to tackle this series. give it a read, i'm sure this'll give someone a good mindfuck since it is a detective series 😭

-> Ashen by @writingmochi

i think i might read this tonight actually, but yeah definitely check this one out. i can sniff out a great writer when i see one!!!!

-> Newsflash! by @ijhyo

teaser has me hooked, like everything about the secret identity...yeah, will wait on it.

-> This Love by @delacyrose224

ive always thought a beomgyu and taehyun love triangle would be a recipe for a perfect fic like… it just makes so much sense because theyre so different in personalities and that clash is just a perfect storm for a love triangle. so i will be reading 🙏 plus, it’s decently long! does it get any better?

Hopefully I got you covered for a couple of days anon 😭 I'll go back to reblogging recommended fics again once I get my shit together at uni, too many good writers out here 💔

[southernbluebellereader]

Could I request the 141 taskforce x reader with skin problems like eczema or psoriasis. If not maybe a x reader thats self conscious about their vitiligo

Little Butterfly

A/N: Hi Bestie! Thank you for this! Both my mother and I have psoriasis (mine's more limited to my scalp). But I'll include vitiligo as well. I'll do my best! Side note, I started writing something, but I overcomplicated it, so here is this. I'm sorry if it sucks lol

Master List (tag list at the bottom)

Task Force 141 (Price, Simon, Johnny, Kyle) x GN! Reader with Psoriasis & Vitiligo

Warnings: skin conditions; self-conscious; a sprinkle of angst; a sprinkle of fluff; and a whole lotta love; PLATONIC; SFW)

General Description of Appearance: Vitiligo patches on their temples, kinda looks like little (butterfly) wings, the rest is mostly on their back. Plaque Psoriasis is spread throughout their body (covers about 10% of their body, localized on their scalp, chest, and hands).

Captain John Price

The only one who knows the extent of psoriasis and vitiligo, because he's El Capitán.

Nicknamed you "Butterfly"

You hated that.

Stopped calling you that when you made a face.

He's the first to know when you have a flare up so you can spend the day resting, taking a saltwater bath, etc.

Has heard the words, but doesn't know squat shit about psoriasis or vitiligo, but it scares the shit out of him when you're out in the sun.

Always makes sure you got sunscreen, makes sure he has a bottle of SPF 75 on him and makes sure the rest of the team has the same.

Took way too long putting sunscreen on your back because he was looking at your vitiligo.

"Captain are you done yet??"

"o-Oh yeah, I'm done, sorry."

Helps you put ointment on your scalp

Got scared as hell when he saw you shed dead skin.

Gets on to you for picking on your skin, but is very much intrigued by it.

Keeps the rest of the team at bay in case they ask about your whereabouts or get onto you with nicknames or even ask you about your psoriasis.

Reads more about it. Probably knows more about it more than you do at this point, like Johnny.

Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley

Like Captain Price, doesn't know squat shit about vitiligo or psoriasis

No. He genuinely doesn't know what either of those words mean until you asked him if y'all could stop by one of the nurse's stations to pick up some meds and overheard you talking to the nurse about your psoriasis.

He watched as you showed the nurse your hands and the back of your ears, seeing little red patches on them. He made a mental note of it, but didn't ask, despite his curiosity.

Noticed that you'd not show up to certain (de)briefings, or trainings. Didn't think of it at first, then asked Price about it, who just said not to worry about it.

Keeps calling you "Birdy" - also stopped when you made a face. Gives death glares that shoot lasers when someone else nicknames you anything remotely related to a bird, insect, or other winged creature.

Got really worried when he caught you in the gym alone and he saw the rest of your vitiligo and more of your psoriasis.

"Y/N, are you ok? Go to the doctor now."

"W-What, why?"

He pointed at your skin, "Doctor. Now."

"Are you serious? It's my psoriasis, Simon..."

"Your w-what?"

"Psoriasis." His eyes widened when you showed him up close. Then turned around and showed him your back, "Vitiligo. The medicine I picked up the other day is for my psoriasis."

Still confused. You briefly explained what they were and a lightbulb went off in his head.

Again still confused, but was more alert of how you behaved regarding the two, especially your psoriasis.

Shoved his bottle of sunscreen in your face that he got from Price when he knows y'all are going to spend a lot of time outside.

Barely lets you go outside when y'all are in Las Almas without getting on to you.

Sgt. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Knows exactly what psoriasis is, has a cousin that has it, so he's very familiar with it. But doesn't ask any questions.

Gives you weird ass advice about how to deal with it because he doesn't think the medicines you take for your psoriasis will actually help.

Like Price, freaks out when you shed dead skin

Unlike Price and Simon, does not call you a nickname and is ready to fight if someone looks at you sideways

Guard Dog

Will put sunscreen on you without you asking

Laughs at you when you get mad at him

"Yer skin is your biggest organ, Lad/Lassie, need to protect it."

If and when he accompanies you to pick up your ointments, he'll argue with the nurse or doctor to make sure you get the right one or that it's too strong, to it's not wrong enough.

Like he's ready to fight the doctor about it.

When y'all are bored, you let him color in the little vitiligo patches on your back - think "Elmer the Patchwork Elephant" by David McKee

Sgt. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Also has no clue what either skin condition is, but is respectful and says nothing.

Caught you having a flare up and dragged you to the nurse, then felt bad when both you and the nurse scolded him,

Literally has no clue what to do - thus making you feel even more stressed out, which freaks him out even more

both of you are stressin

freaking out

Price has to come in and calm both of y'all down

Price put Kyle in a time out while he makes sure you're ok

Gets a booklet from Price to learn about psoriasis.

Apologizes, and asks a lot of questions and makes sure you're ok, especially when you have flare ups.

Still gets freaked out.

Does not want to help you with your ointment, but will watch when Johnny or Price helps you

Asks way too many questions

Thinks your vitiligo is cute - accidentally called you his little giraffe and Simon and Johnny nearly shot lasers out they eyes while Price covered your ears.

Kyle knows not to call you any nicknames. Doesn't even think it.

Like the others, will shot lasers out his eyes if anyone even thinks about calling you a nickname.

Literally thinks you're made of glass and sometimes forget you're a whole ass soldier.

Anyways.

Everybody:

Eventually

Against your will, but you just sigh and accept it

Your nickname will be "Butterfly"

Price will call you his/the team's "Little Butterfly" - we all know you're his Little Butterfly

Johnny and Kyle will call you "Fly" to mess with you

Simon will smack the back of their heads.

You are "Butterfly"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @galagcica @sweetybuzz25 @wisedinosaurpolice @itsasecrets-things @ronbon @lieutenantlashfaz @piper570 @shuttlelauncher81 @thanksbutno98 @gabriellathegreat @kult6 @loadedberetta @sarahs-secrets2 @whore4dilfs @addy3114 @ollie71526483 @blueoorchid

[strangerthingsmademebi]

Wicked Game

~ Chrissy Cunningham x Fem!Reader~

Summary: You and Chrissy have been dating for a few months but when senior prom comes around you know you can’t go together. So you came up with a plan that will allow you to spend the night with the love of your life even if that means having to see Jason Carver dance with your girl .

warnings: swearing, angst, a bit of fluff. It`s the 80`s so there hints to people being homophobic. Also sorry if the descriptions of senior prom are wrong, I'm not American and so i can only base it off of films. not proofread. 

Senior Prom. 1986

The one night a year that teachers didn`t give a fuck. But you did. And you had worked so hard to get here. Everyone had. It was the last big school event before graduation and you couldn't have been more ecstatic. You were one step closer to getting out of this hell hole called Hawkins. 

The theme this year was “Movie Magic” and you had spent weeks finding the perfect outfit. You were going as Sandy from Grease and to say you looked sexy would be an understatement. 

Even though you couldn`t spend the night with the girl of your dreams you still planned to make it memorable. You and your girlfriend Chrissy had devised a plan to allow you to go to prom together without drawing too much attention. 

Double date. 

You would each take a guy as your date and go as a party of four to prom. It wouldn't be suspicious because everyone assumed you were just close friends and so it wouldn't be surprise that you two would go to prom together. 

It was the perfect plan. Until it wasn`t. 

Chrissy was so beautiful in her pastel pink dress. She had gone as Baby from Dirty Dancing and it could not have been a better choice. You had to stop your self from running up and kissing her when you first saw her. 

Everything was going well. You were laughing and dancing and drinking punch like there was no tomorrow. That was until a slow song came on and you found yourself watching Chrissy across the dance floor while you danced with your “date”. Ben was nice but defiantly not your type. His breath smelled like onion and his hands were always sweaty but you guess what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 

You were swaying from side to side and trying to listen to what he whatever nonsense he was rambling on about. But you couldn't take your eyes off her. Why was she laughing? Jason wasn`t funny he was the biggest ass you had ever met. He was the first to ask her so you had to put up with him for one night and one night only. 

Ugh!! He needed to move his hands away from her ass or you would do it for him. His arms around her. Staring at her with hearts in his eyes. A part of you pitied the boy. But the other part of you so desperately wanted to be in his place at that moment in time.

It was getting to much so you extricated yourself from Ben and muttered something about getting some punch.

That was how you found yourself standing by the punch bowl with a scowl.

Why did you agree to this? Would anyone really expect anything, I mean tones of girls went together as friends . We’re you really that paranoid that you were  missing out on spending your senior prom with the only person you ever want to be around?

Yep.

You were that scared but with good reason. You don’t know how people would react and you didn’t want to find out.

But looking at Chrissy. Your Chrissy. You couldn’t do it anymore. Your breathing started to quicken and your hand curled into a fist. You had to get out of there before you punched someone . Most likely Jason for how he was looking at your girl.

And so you found yourself outside the back of the school with your back pressed closely to the wall. You tried to catch your breath and tilted your head towards the star sprinkled sky. God. This was your senior prom and here you were. Alone and trying to fight off tears. 

A sound made your head whip towards the door and to your shock Chrissy appeared. Seeing your distraught state she immediately rushed towards you. 

“Y/N?, what wrong sweetheart?” 

You quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen and looked down. 

“Nothing. I`m just being stupid.” you murmured embarrassed to be caught.

“ Sweetie, Hey, Don`t say that. Please. Why are you out here all alone?” Chrissy spoke softly and with such love that you couldn't help but meet her eyes. 

“ I….. guess i got a little jealous” you answered quietly so she could only just hear what you said. 

“Jealous?” she stifled a little chuckle and reach out to touch your cheek. She gently brushed the apple of your cheek with her thumb while she gazed at you. God her eyes. they were so beautiful how can they even be real. How can they be in front of you and looking at you with such love and admiration while you tell her your stupid  insecurities. “Of what?” 

“You … and Jason.” You looked down in embarrassment but Chrissy used her pointer finger to tip your chin back up. She looked at you with such sincerity and something to say seriously? him ?.

“Oh baby.” She pulled you closer and her lips gently brushed against yours. She smelt and tasted like honey and if felt like you saw heaven (which you swear you saw every time you were with her).

 “ You know i only love you. He's just a beard as is Ben. I`d much rather spend tonight with you especially now that my feet are bruised from the amount of times he's stepped on them tonight.” She chuckled softly. You eyes widen upon hearing she's hurt even if it was an accident. She saw this and rubbed your arm to bring you back to what she was saying.

 “ I defiantly don't like him especially not like that.” She faked a gag which brought the first real smile of the night to your face. Chrissy smiled back and cupped your face with her hands. 

“I'm yours baby and your mine. Ben can piss off and Jason can go fuck himself for all i care. Your my person. Nothing is going to change that Y/N. Nothing!” 

Your shoulders relaxed at that and you pulled her into a passionate kiss which left you both breathless. How were you so lucky? 

“I love you Chrissy. And if Jason ever hurts you again i will end him! I don't care if it an accident no one hurts my girl.” Chrissy chuckled at your statement and hid her head in your neck. She's so warm and cute it made your heart melt. 

“How about we get out of here and go back your place?” Chrissy mumbled into your neck. The vibration sent tingles down your neck. 

“That sounds perfect baby.” You whispered against the crown of her head. Suddenly there was noise that came from the door into the school and stumbling out came Robin Buckley and a girl you could only assume was Vicky. Robin and you had grown close when everything with the upside down was happening. She was one of the only people who knew about you and more specifically you and Chrissy. You also knew about her crush and Vicky and so to see them like this sprouted a seed of hope in your chest that your friend might find the same happiness and love that you felt.  

The two girls were holding hands and giggling which abruptly stopped when all four of you made eye contact. An unspoken understanding settled over everyone.

 A laugh broke the silence and you turned to find Chrissy with a tightened face trying to hold in the rest of her laughs. Soon everyone was laughing loudly. As it died down Robin reached for Vicky's hand and pulled her away to find another hiding spot. As she walked past you held out you hand for Robin to discreetly high five you. 

You turned back to Chrissy and wiped away a tear of joy before holding her soft hand in yours. 

With grins on your faces you walked back to the parking lot but as you left neither of you noticed the flickering street lamp that illuminated your car...

authors note: dun dun dun..... i may do a part two if this does well but i hope you enjoyed this one-shot. side note - why is there such a limited number of Chrissy stories !!!! I may as well just write my own ahahaha.  

[writer-and-artist27]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @windwardstar. Thankie, Osie. (一一)7 Questions and answers put under the cut.

--------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

Um. (goes to check) 14.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,084,241.

...That's bigger than I thought.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Fate/Grand Order and related. Trying to get back into Naruto for specific reasons. Still slow at that one.

4. Top five fics by kudos

1. Passing Days 219 2. Civilian Pianist 200 (which is amazing to me considering how it's incomplete and not fully matching the FFN version yet) 3. The Sea and Stars 88 4. Seaside Sibling Train 83 5. The Girl Singing Alone 68

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I do. I do my best to get responses out within a day or two, but sometimes, work, people, and a mix of both make it so replies are delayed. Also being used to some comments being a mix of "why didn't you write this" and "read this to like this one character better." Damn it Fate fandom.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh. (stares at AO3 works) Some short stories in Small Sparkles that involved Tomoko nearly dying or actually dying? That's really it. Angst is why Lang told me to cut down the old Danganronpa crossover way back and I'm glad I did.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe all of them? Because I do want to keep giving happy endings. Least I can do.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

(stares at all the previous anons and guest reviewers who tried to get me to like Wodime and LB7 onwards for Fate/Grand Order) Yep. That's why my AO3 works are all locked to registered users only. Keeps the bullcrap out.

9. Do you write smut?

No. I tried once, didn't get into the actual act, only implied it, and immediately mentally combusted afterwards. Friends were very nice in encouraging me and being supportive.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Thank goodness for that.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. It'd be nice if someone did. I remember back when I was exclusively writing Civilian Pianist in my college days that someone asked about translating it into Spanish. Never saw more than that. Don't remember if they even got around to it.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

If you count me asking Os/@windwardstar and @langwrites for help in writing Kei and co in The Sea and Stars, yes! Also, there was Silent Feathers. Kinda went places.

13. All time favorite ship?

(squints) ...Do I gotta choose? Because I don't have an all time favorite.

14. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

...Civilian Pianist. I really want to go back to it, I do, but a combination of Boruto sucking ass whenever I try to look up reference, family deaths, and my own changing writing style means I'm floundering a bit. Still want to go back. I mean that much.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Per @partialdignity and @lovingempress, last I checked - fluff, exploring emotion, and hurt/comfort. Which I'm more than happy with considering I wanted to write for all three.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes (thanks for passing your weakness down, Lang), angst, and occasional bouts of witty banter. Still working on all three. Some of my best Fate chapters I wrote from the memories of toxic work environments, racist things people have called me on public transit, as well as uncomfortable real life things, and I think it says something when my partner has to call me and distract me with talk about Kamen Rider to get me out of the dark corner because I can dive deep.

17. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I've been trying to use that sort of thing more in Passing Days since the little bits of Vietnamese I sprinkle in make Master Vy - and by extension the Chaldea I write for - so much bigger in how the Servants try to interact with a Vietnamese Master. It helps me look up and practice saying the accents I've always struggled learning with my parents when I was little too. Still a work in progress, though, but it's fun!

18. First fandom you wrote in?

Yugioh GX. On a word document that's long been deleted because old family laptop, middle school me writing, and being very embarrassed by it.

19. Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly, it's coming up to Passing Days even though I've poured a lot into every story I've written. Because Fate/Grand Order has so many characters, shaped up by the story and my own experiences playing through the story - writing out things that could've happened or interactions I wish could've played out help me challenge myself. Push me outside my "fluff/comfort" bubble.

Because not everyone takes nicely to the tiny stubborn Vietnamese girl who wants to fight for her family. It's a good personal challenge.

20. Tagging: @partialdignity (who was mentioned earlier), @abalisk, @teddog, @tackypies. And anyone else who would like to. This is for fun and totally optional. :)

[meili-sheep]

Sorry for pushing my KaeHei agenda too much 😅

But how will Heizou react when he discovers Kaeya's secret?

Here he is, the love of his life, Kaeya, in front of him, and yet...

But I decided to sprinkle more angst with Diluc being a witness to this scene

I don't think Heizou will be violent like Diluc was but they all are having war flashback, literally

When it happened with his friend, he couldn't apologized because he was killed, dying in his arms. Now that it's his lover, will everything be repeated again? Is Kaeya going to die too? Or fate far more worse than death?

Now Heizou found out who he is, is he going to be left alone again? Kaeya has to pick his words carefully because one wrong word might cause more damage. He can't repeat the same mistake, not again.

It's like all that 4 years before again, the same moment he had with his brother. There's no way out of this now but there has to be a way to talk things out between them. It breaks his heart to witness this.

I think he'll asks Kaeya where his heart lies, Mondstadt or Khaenri'ah and trusts his intuition with whatever Kaeya answers. Probably need some time alone too

But how do you think things go down? 🧐

Haha angst juice, my favorite drink 🧃🙂

I feel that I have sort of become a rare pair haven.

Come, weary traveler. I know it's a harrowing journey out there looking for content between characters who don't have a snowball's chance in hell of ever having a canon interaction. Come and rest your weary bones. And I, the lord of talking out my ass, will give you crumbs.

But first, let me say. Diluc and Heizou are very different scenarios, with Diluc having had his father die only moments before and his only family telling him he's a spy. So while Diluc and Heizou have a similar trauma, Kaeya telling Heizou isn't really on the same level. And shouldn't be come paired.

Second. While I think Kaeya felt lonely when Diluc left Mondstadt. I think he understood. I think he realized telling Diluc right then was an incredibly selfish action that ended up hurting them both. So he while he's lonely, he gets that Diluc needs that time away. And He's currently lonely for a different reason. Sort of related but more because he feels that his being truthful with people will only hurt them, and is selfish so he can't be himself. So it's less related to Diluc because he respects the space Diluc wants from him.

Third. I think Kaeya is questioning the truth of why his father left him. Especially after that last update. Where he says he thinks his father left him to lead a happy life.

So I have trouble thinking he would tell Heizou. Unless it was necessary. And if that did happy. There are 2 things that could make you happy. 1) Heizou trusts his gut and can see the turmoil this is causing Kaeya and Honestly. Heizou probably knows the Kaeya have never been 100% truthful with him. And while this truth hurts Heizou he understands the reason Kaeya might keep it. And might appreciate the truth... even if it hurts (I'm thinking of that one thread in his event hangout)

2) if Diluc were there. He would probably pull Heizou aside. And actually make an argument for Kaeya. Not that I think Heizou would need it, but he would feel it's his duty. To protect Kaeya when from himself at times. And I wholeheartedly believe that Diluc thinks Kaeya wouldn't betray Mondstadt, not honestly.

[theclassclone]

Request Guidelines and Status

[Requests: Closed]

**Please note that this list can and will be updated as time goes on. There are things I didn't think of to add and they will be added if you come up with them. And if you have any questions PLEASE ASK ME.

Request Guidelines, Below The Cut:

Please Provide the Following

WHO? Character, Reader (with preferred Gender and Pronouns), my OCs. RELATIONSHIP? Familial, other Platonic, Romantic. PLOT. What do you want to see happen during this piece? Does it take place during an episode? Prompt? Additional Information. Do you want some angst or fluff sprinkled in alongside the PLOT? If there is no provided PLOT, do you want angst or fluff? Use this space to also let me know any additional information I should touch on that you want included in the story.

What I Will Write

ANGST FLUFF RELATIONSHIPS: As I mentioned above, I will write Familial, Platonic, and Romantic relationships. READER INSERTS: Please include Gender and Pronouns. I do tend to default to Female because I am Female and that is what I do for some reason. I'm about as inclusive as Abe, you need to spell it out for me. OC INSERTS: If you like one of my OCs enough to want to see more of them, by all means, ask for it. I do not typically write for anyone else's OCs (this is largely due to the fact that I know my own OCs, not yours and for some reason in the past people didn't understand that they needed to tell me about their OC). But this is Clone High, this is cringe, this is satire and parody. If you really believe in me, send me your OCs. If you, for some demented reason, think your OC and my OC need to interact, by all means, I will write it. Additional Things. Disabilities, Insecurities, Episodes, Crack Fics.

What I Will NOT Write

(granted, this does not account for Clone High typical violence/injury/etc).

(If you see something on this list that you want, i.e., abuse and want to see if I'm open to what you have in mind, literally just ask me. You have SOME wiggle room with Clone High, the worst I'll say is no lol. I use this guideline across all fandoms, but there are definitely things I won't budge on like incest and smut. My uninterested ass won't say yes).

SELF-HARM: You can ask for this as part of a backstory, but not ongoing. EATING DISORDERS: You can ask for this as part of a backstory, but not ongoing. INCEST ABUSE: We can discuss this because of the implications and nature of Clone High. You have wiggle room in this fandom. It is very dependent on what you want, this is literally only here because I cannot write to save my life, otherwise it wouldn't be here, NGL. SMUT/LEMONS/LIMES & SIMILAR: Just because I'm an adult, who may or may not have first-hand experience, does not mean I know how to write about it. Also, I straight up don't find the appeal in writing or engaging IRL. Personal thing. POLY-SHIPS: No hate, just because I am an adult, does not mean I have first-hand experience or even know someone in this type of relationship. Personal thing, again. CHARACTERS: There is a list of CHARACTERs that I will not do; this is subject to change, and I know for a fact I am missing exclusions:

Gandhi (No Romance, sorry ladies, until the G-spot returns to canon, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, you're luck you get anything)

Candide Sampson (She's not canon to me LMAO)

Marie Curie

Genghis Khan

Vincent van Gogh (No Romance)

Nostradamus

Moses

MLK Jr (No Romance)

Malcom X

Sigmund Freud (I'm a psych major. So, if you know, you know)

OTHER THINGS: At this time the only other thing I will typically turn down is Character/Character, I typically do these in the sense of CHARACTER A is the child of B and C. Clone High is a different breed of fuckery, so you never know.

**GIF not mine**

[forfuckssakejim]

how the hell. do you write smut

i'm trying to write some for two of my OCs but it has literally just ended up as 1k words of therapy with angst????

i wanted them to get nasty on a desk but ive got 2 pages of fully clothed childhood trauma </3

oh thats the best part of writing smut!!!! my whole ass last fic of smut included childhood trauma!!! it's all part of the zest! the allure! the sense of je ne sais quoi of it all!!!

but real talk. sometimes its best to write the smut separate and then build up the plot around it. sometimes they really do need to be talking about their childhood trauma in order to be able to fuck each others brains off.

When i realize i go off on a tangent like that with writing, i try to have some form of a "call back" in which the other character does something to make them stop thinking. if I may be as bold as to provide an example from my own work?

So Spock kissed it, laid worship to the tangible proof that Jim had survived, that this moment, right now, was real.

I had spent 1311 words describing Jim's childhood trauma and the healing steps and stuff associated with it. And I KNEW i had to like, wrap it up. cuz 1.3k is a lot for a fic that was supposed to be smut.

but also, at the end of the day, it is your story and somehow, whether you realize it or not, you know best how to tell the story. theres a reason you devoted 2 pages of trauma to a smut fic, usually because IT HAS to be mentioned.

sometimes its easy to mention it in passing and not have it consume the narrative. I know with some of my Gomens fics i'll causally sprinkle in Crowley's trauma of falling, but I think i do a good job not delving too deep into it.

Like i said, sometimes it needs to happen for the story to be good.

I hope that helped 💖💖

[creamypudding]

Hey there :3

I've been a huge fan of your Kintsukuroi 😍

It's been a while since you ended it and I know it was such a huge project!

Buuuuuuuut I've been wondering lately - do you have plans on writing some Zakkura related stories in the near future?

Love, Jenny :3

I did have to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating getting an ask. Thank you for reaching out, Jenny! What an extremely rare delight! It's very lovely of you to say you enjoyed Kintsukuroi. It still holds such a special place in my heart. I might need to re-read it one of these days. Maybe when I've cleared my schedule so I can possibly dive into part two XD I'm a bit flummoxed by your question regarding if I have plans to write more Zakkura because I am currently 15 chapters deep into the weekly posting of my current Zakkura fic, Full Moon's Bane. In fact, chapter 16 will be posted tomorrow.

Perhaps you missed it since I'm posting it under my dark_flan pseudo, though cream_pudding is still attached to it as well.

Full Moon's Bane is a HUGE departure from the type of stories I'm known for writing, so it's understandable if it doesn't appeal to you and you wouldn't have/don't want to click on it. It is omegaverse/monster fuckery. But at its heart it is Zakkura, featuring all the hallmark Cream Pudding bullshittery of the intricate ins and outs of falling in love, not saying what you truly feel until things come to a head, a whole bunch of graphic depictions of sex, with sprinklings of fluff, angst and a whole bunch of hurt/comfort. And it's all wrapped up in Cloud having a wet ass that just wants to be filled by whatever it can get - even if that's a big scary-looking, but actually very nice and sweet wolf creature.

If I still can't entice you to give the story a go (omegaverse always turned me off but I found a way of writing it that hugely appeals to me, ahahah, and hopefully to other people too) I do have Fractals which is a one-shot canon-divergent fix-it fic I wrote for the boys last year. As for near-future... I have no stories lined up for any ship. Editing and posting Full Moon's Bane is a huge undertaking, which requires all my writing attention. I don't think I'll be getting onto any new stories until the last chapter is posted, which is looking to be 31 weeks away with a total of 47 chapters for this story. After that is done, I have some stories for another ship I want to write though I also have a handful of one-shot ideas for Zakkur written down somewhere that I might consider writing depending on what's happening with my writing muses.

Anyway, I hope maybe you'll want to give Full Moon's Bane a go. If not it may be a very long time before I can provide any more written nourishment for this ship. Sorry 😅

Thanks again for reaching out. I really appreciate the interest.

Here is the link to the fic if anyone is interested including all the tags - https://archiveofourown.org/works/44597629

[sugoi-writes]

BNHA boys with a boyfriend. Like dabi, deku, todoroki, fat gum and any other of your choice

BNHA Boys x Boyfriend (Dabi, Deku, Todo, Fat Gum)

I really had fun coming up with some hc/perceptions! Some may be a bit long winded, but I just couldn’t hold back! I may do another post like this where I feature more of the boys (Bakugou, Mirio, Hawks, etc.) Some of these are angsty as a warning though!

Dabi

He’s definitely a manipulative, playboy type. He relishes you falling hopelessly, clinging to the rollercoaster of manic emotions as your hopes rise high before plummeting. He is also a domineering type, and takes great, sadistic glee to find yet another man trapped under the heel of his boots. But buckle up, because he tends to lift you right back up, sweep you off your toes, and make your head spin.

While many would argue you’d never have time for each other, he has a way of sneaking up on you. Literally. Wherever you are, whenever he feels like it, he will come to you. He is very selective with how much you know of him, and will not let you get too close. Whether that’s in fear of you discovering parts of himself he wants to keep hidden, or him trying to 10 steps ahead of you, you’ll never know.

He’s not particularly passionate, and if you’re being honest, the times that he is… They either leave you feeling underwhelmed or completely on the edge of your seat. Dabi definitely doesn’t draw any sort of line in the sand when it comes to identities and genders… he tends to go for people who are either very gullible and naive, or people who have a tenacious resolve, and unwavering loyalty.

This is really all your relationship is. It’s much more casual, with a friends-with-benefits vibe. While you constantly crave more from him, he’ll always leave you dangling helplessly until you’re frustrated. With time, and maybe your commitment to watching the world burn… who knows? Maybe you can get your way just yet.

Izuku

If him and Dabi share one thing in common, it’s how dodgy and busy they are. But, like the villain, Deku makes sure to make time for you and come to you. However, your relationship is much deeper, and public. He wouldn’t be secretive in the slightest about you two, and will openly ramble about you should someone present him the chance. He is the type to remember every passing detail. Every birthday, every dinner date, every milestone… he’s already planning for 90% of what you celebrate or do together. And in that respect, you find things easier, as Deku can purposely manipulate his schedule to be with you.

Passion? Clear signals? Not a worry in your book. Even though Izuku can tend to shy away from confrontation between friends or peers, he does his damndest to be one hundred percent upfront with you. And he will also expect the same from you in return. He works his ass off not only to save his home, but also to keep you happy in your relationship, and have a stable future with you. It’s a future in which his mother hopes you become a part of. She loves you to pieces, and isn’t concerned with neo-typical things (becoming a grandmother, planning a wedding for her DIL, etc).

That being said, you can expect Midoriya to be the type that wants to eventually settle down with you, grow old, and just linger, with you by his side. Despite his big dreams, he’s also a simple man. And he thanks his lucky stars that you chose him to be with you.

Todoroki

A boyfriend? With the way that Endeavour had raised him, Todoroki would have never expected to want to be beside another man/male presenting person his entire life. Against his will, he always thought that his role was to carry a lineage he was never proud of, to produce kids for a man that would never appreciate them in a genuine way. He thought he would end up giving his father grandchildren for the sake of a Genetic Lottery.

However, as his and his father’s relationship improved, so did his views. He began to think more freely, experiment with his sexuality and relationships, and then… there was you. He had thrown out the window his prior mindset entirely, discovering a relationship with you that thrilled him. It was something unplanned, and a future that was different than the one he dreaded. And he makes sure that you know that.

Expect him to be overly doting, and enamored with you, as if you have him under your thumb. He is more than lovestruck, and finds a zest in living that he would have otherwise dismissed. Your days together are spent being together, trying new things, dabbling in domestic life… but ultimately, he wants freedom for the both of you. Freedom to chart your own destiny, without having to be weighed down by lineage, descendants, or even commitment. And should you ever drift apart, or you want for something else in life? He will be sad, sure, but will ultimately be happy for you. Because of you, he discovered a part of life that was missing, a part inside him that always existed, but was suppressed. But, if he’s being honest… while he’s soaring in the Hero Rankings, and saving countless lives… he hopes that he can always come back to you, and experience the newer, spontaneous parts of life with you. In your relationship, the same Todoroki that you started to fall for will still be there, but some of the harder, stoic layers begin to peel away, showing you so much more.

Fat Gum

He is a huge, HUGE child in a grown man’s body. In context of his hero work, he is usually the type to be laser focused, and always goal oriented. When he comes back to you, after an excruciating day… he sheds off all of the stress and let loose. He is a prankster, a riot, a great lover, and your wingman all wrapped up in one package. His jolly and RIPPED forms are both happily welcome in your life, and FG will take you as you are, with no restraints. FG is not a draw-the-line-in-the-sand kind of guy: he’s only looking for a handful of things in a partner… and you scratched all of them off. You being a man/male presenting didn’t affect his choice or desire to be with you.

He may have a bit of free time on his hands compared to some pros, but he is headstrong and prefers to keep himself busy. At times, he can get a bit stir crazy, and likes feeling productive. Despite his light hearted side, this will transfer into your relationship, too. If there’s something he can work on? He’s actively doing so, and will often ask you about what you think, or what he still needs to address. He also works in tandem with you frequently, mapping out what you might want and expect from each other. This is another guy that has all the cards out on the table. If you two have what the other wants, great! If not, he’ll work on it, and you two can reach a middle ground or figure something out.

Expect a lot of crazy shenanigans, last minute work and activities, but most of all: a guy that can be really dedicated to you, and ensuring that the both of you are thriving and happy with life.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

I'm Almost Me Again, She's Almost You

Pairing: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: none really but this is the only story I've ever written that's canonically accurate to the MCU so mentions of character death, Steve's stupid ass ending (It takes place during/after TFATWS)- Bucky's low-key a sad boi

Genre: fluff with a couple sprinkles of angst

Summary: Bucky's new girlfriend reminds him of an old friend (inspired entirely by Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier because I am obsessed with that Irish Giant- did y'all know he's like 6'6?!)

***

You walk down the isles of the bookstore where you work, stocking the shelves with new copies of some books you just got in. When you turn a corner you see a man standing in the aisle with his arms crossed. He's wearing a leather jacket and it looks like he's got on gloves from what you can see of his hands. It's not winter so they seem a little out of place, but it's not your place to judge. His eyes dart from book to book quickly.

"Excuse me. Hi is there anything I can help you with?" You ask him. He looks at you for a long while before he shakes his head slightly. "Ah- alright. Well if you need anything let me know!" You smile at him and go back to your restocking, singing quietly, an old song he swears he recognizes but won't ask you about. He's there for about an hour before he silently leaves the store.

~*~*~

The next time you see the man is about a week later. You're at the counter flipping through your latest novel of choice quitely singing Night and Day, an old jazz song, when he walks up to you and clears his throat. Your head jerks up at the sound and you stop your quiet singing.

"Oh hey- you're the guy from last week! You need something?" You smile at him closing your book.

"You- remember me from last week?" He blinks at you.

"Course I do. You got on the same jacket too. I'm- pretty good with faces." You tell him. He nods but doesn't say anything in response. "Uh anyway, can I help you with anything?" You ask.

"I'm looking for a book. One about like- psychology- or hypnosis maybe." He frowns.

"Well we have some psychology books in the science section. Probably the biology subset but I'd have to walk over there to give you more exact locations." You tell him.

"I've got it from here." He nods and walks away. You turn your attention back to your novel for the time being, singing the same song from where you left off. The man spends forty minutes browsing the books in the science section before he eventually returns to the counter, this time with books in hand. He's got three, all related to psychology and the mind.

"Find everything okay?" You ask as you scan the books. He nods.

"Alright, your total is 42.57." You say. He silently hands you his card. You hand him back his card and his bag of items.

"Thanks." He gruffly mumbles.

"Thanks for coming. Have a nice day! Hope to see you again soon." You tell him. He nods as a way of saying goodbye and leaves.

~*~*~

The man returns the following week.

"Hello again psych enthusiast." You say. He nods at you as he walks towards the science section. He comes to the counter about thirty minutes later with three new books. This time a book about dreams is amongst the set.

"You always been interested in psychology?" You ask him.

"New hobby." He says.

"Well, happy reading." You tell him handing him his bag. He nods and leaves.

He comes in again once a week for the next few weeks, picking up a few books at a time. Always about some aspect of psychology, or dreams, or the mind. You try to talk to him whenever he comes in but it's mostly just you talking, as he gives short primarily nonverbal responses.

Then for a while after that you don't see the man again. You don't think much of it, sometimes you see customers once and never again. Plus the news has been talking about some group called the Flag Smashers all the time and you're a bit preoccupied watching for updates on the anarchists that wanna take over the world. Eventually, news of the Flag Smashers dies down and a hero you'd known as the Falcon declares himself the new Captain America. You knew enough about the Avengers to know a few of them were dead now following the blip and the original Captain America was missing in action, again, much like the 40s. No one really knows what happened to him, except probably the remaining Avengers. Maybe he'll pop up again in another 70 years.

A couple days after the Flag Smashers business is publically laid to rest the psychology hobbyist walks in again. You don't notice, busy restocking by the counter. It's not until he comes up to the counter with a couple books that you even know he's here.

"Hey the psych dude- you're back!" You say.

"Psych- dude?" He frowns at you.

"Well I dunno your name, and I could call you leather jacket or something but you always come in here and buy psychology books." You shrug.

"James." He says.

"Sorry what?" Your eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"My name. It's James." He elaborates.

"Oh- hi James. I'm y/n." You smile. He nods slightly, unsure of what to say in response. You hand him his items. "Alright well, I'll see you next time James." You offer. He nods again and makes his way out.

~*~*~

The next time James comes to the bookstore he waves at you as he walks to the science section as always. He's only there for 15 minutes before he's at the counter.

"Hi James." You tell him.

"Hello." He says. You ring him up without much more conversation but as you hand him his bag you will yourself to ask your question.

"Hey James would you like to go for coffee or something, some time?" You ask.

"Oh- uh- I-"

"You don't have to say yes. I won't take it personally." You shrug.

"Actually- I'd like to." He says.

"Okay. There's a coffee shop up the street. Do you know it?" You grab a sticky note and scribble your number down on it.

"Uh- yeah- I uh- I've been there before." He says.

"Great. I'm off Saturday. We can meet then if you're free. Say one?" You hand him the sticky note.

"One?" He frowns in confusion.

"Yeah- does one o'clock work for you? Do you want to meet earlier or later?"

"Oh! One is fine." He says.

"Alright. See you then. Call or text if something changes." You tell him. He nods and leaves the bookstore without another word.

When Saturday rolls around you arrive at the coffee shop at exactly 1 o'clock. Before you've even sat down Bucky arrives at the table you've chosen.

"Hello." He says. You smile at him.

"Hi James." You reach out your hand to shake. He stares at your hand but doesn't move to shake it. "Did you want to order something before we sit down?" You ask him. He nods and follows you to the counter. The two of you order sandwhiches and drinks and take your lunches to your chosen table. For a few moments you just sit and eat silently until you test the waters with a question.

"So James, tell me something about yourself- how old are you?" You ask.

"106." He says seriously. Your eyes widen for a second unsure of if he's serious but you assume he's joking so you play along.

"Well lucky for you I've always had a thing for older guys." You joke.

"Lucky me." He says.

"Okay well what do you do? Like when you're not at the book store how do you spend your days?" You ask.

"Therapy." He shrugs.

"Oh like you're a therapist?" You ask.

"No I have a therapist." He says.

"Is that what all the psychology books are for?"

"What-?"

"Every book you've bought has been psychology related. Are you interested in becoming a therapist or just wanting be more aware of your progress?" You ask.

"I don't think I'm at all the type of person who should be a therapist." He scoffs.

"So- interested in being aware of how you're doing?"

"Something like that." He hums.

"Well I won't ask what you're in therapy for- seems a bit too personal for a first date-"

"Is that what this is? A date?" He asks you.

"If you're okay with that."

"Sure. I'm okay with it."

"Cool- so uh I won't ask you why you're in therapy but how do you think it's going? If you don't mind me asking."

"If I tried to explain all the reasons I'm in therapy you'd be 106 by the time I finished. But uh- I think it's going alright. Therapist says I need to establish more connections- but she also says routines are good for me so- I have to establish a routine that let's me meet new people I guess."

"Well, you come by the book store pretty regularly- it's not super busy but we get enough customers that you could meet new people there if you spoke to anyone else." You shrug. He hums.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks after a moment.

"Sure- it's only fair- I've asked, more than one question already." You say.

"Right, why did you invite me out? Why talk to me at all?"

"One part curiosity, two parts self interest." You shrug.

"What the fuck does self interest mean?" His eyes narrow skeptically.

"Uh- that I'm interested in you-? Like I find you attractive." You explain confused by the defensive nature of his last question.

"Oh- right. Sorry for swearing." He mumbles.

"You always this distrusting of people James?" You ask him.

"Well- if you've seen the things I've seen you would be too." He shrugs.

"Maybe- but you've gotta give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes James. You won't make any new conections with walls up higher than the twin towers you know. Most people won't climb that high." You smile.

"Would you?" He asks.

"If I care about the person sure. Everyone deserves people they can trust and love and count on- no matter how high their walls go." You shrug. Bucky takes a moment to digest your words before speaking again.

"Friends call me Bucky." He says.

"Bucky?" You tilt your head.

"Middle name's Buchanan. Bucky's short for that. Caught on. Now pretty much no one calls me James." He explains.

"Would you prefer I call you Bucky?" You ask.

"I don't mind James when you say it. You can call me either." He says.

"James Buchanan, Bucky. Alright." You smile. He awkwardly attempts to learn more about you for the next hour, greatful that you do most of the talking and by the time you're parting ways you've set up another lunch date for the following week.

This goes on for a few months before anything else happens between the two of you. You meet for lunch and Bucky forces himself out of his comfort zone with you. He tells you small bits and pieces about his life at his pace and you allow him to. He tells you about Sam and Sam's family, how they welcomed him into their community and made him feel safe. He tells you of an old friend Steve, who he's not friends with anymore but never tells you why. He even shares some of his progress from when he was in therapy- as much as he can without telling you why he was in therapy. Even when he stops going. Eventually he feels comfortable enough to ask you to be his girlfriend which you of course say yes to, your lunch dates with him having been the highlight of your week ever since the second one. About three weeks into dating Bucky offers to tell you about why he's in therapy. A conversation he's been dreading since day one.

"Hey y/n I uh- I wanna talk to you about something." He says softly while you're reading together in your living room, Duke Ellington playing through the space.

"Everything alright Bucky?" You frown, closing the book to give him your full attention.

"Yeah- I just, I thought maybe it was time I told you about- you know, why I was in therapy. About my past." He says.

"You don't have to if you're not ready Bucky. You don't owe me that information you know." You tell him placing a reassuring hand over his.

"I know- I know I don't owe it to you but I, I want to tell you. I feel- I don't like hiding it from you."

"Alright- if you're sure, I'm all ears- and you don't have to tell me all of it tonight. Just, share whatever you feel comfortable." You tell him. His eyes scan your face momentarily and find nothing but sincerity in your eyes.

"Well- I'm, I'm the Winter Soldier." He starts.

"The Winter Soldier? Like the Hydra assassin?" You frown.

"Yes. That is- was me."

"How is that possible? The Winter Soldier was used by Hydra during World War Two he would be like a hundred years old."

"A hundred and seven." Bucky corrects you. You blink at him remembering his answer to that question from your first date.

"You weren't kidding. When you said you were a hundred and six you weren't kidding. You really are- but how?" You try to wrap your head around it.

"Hydra found me armless and bleeding out in the woods after falling off a train back in the forties during the war. They- saved me, I guess, gave me a metal arm, and- turned me into a weapon. Years of physical and mental torture that I can't even remember in full. When I wasn't on missions doing Hydra's dirty work they froze me in a cryogenic chamber. That's why I don't look a hundred and seven." He explains.

"Oh my God." You whisper.

"I've done- terrible horrible things. Things that haunt my dreams, things that if I told you- you'd probably never want to see me again. But I'm trying to make up for it. I joined the Avengers- actually the Avengers are how I got away from Hydra to begin with- my buddy Steve- Captain America- he found me. Took me to Wakanda and they helped me. Freed my mind from Hydra's hypnosis. But then all that shit with the blip happened and- well now I'm making amends on a smaller scale. I have a list- families of my victims- the ones I remember. I try to help them, offer closure if I can, aid if I can't. The guilt is probably always going to be there but it helps."

"Wait- sorry- your Steve is Captain America?" You blink at him.

"He was." Bucky shrugs.

"What happened to him?" You ask.

"I don't wanna talk about that right now if you don't mind." He shakes his head.

"Of course. Sorry, continue with your story my love." You tell him. He takes a deep breath as he goes back to the beginning. He tells you about his life before the war, tells you about his time as a soldier, tells you very little of his time enslaved by Hydra, tells you about hiding after, about recovery in Wakanda, he tells you about the flag smashers and how they interrupted his government mandated therapy sessions. He tells you his entire story start to finish with as few holes as he can manage without mentioning Steve any more than necessary. And you listen intently the entire time, eyes focused entirely on him, hanging on every word he says, offering silent support through soft touches. When he finishes he's not looking at you, he's mentally bracing for an unfavorable reaction.

"Woah. Yeah I can see how that would lead you to therapy." You nod.

"Yeah."

"But wait you stopped going to therapy a couple weeks after we went to lunch the first time." You frown.

"Yeah well, sitting in a room with someone getting paid to take notes on my trauma wasn't really working for me." He shrugs.

"Well that's understandable- everyone reacts differently to therapy- not every recovery process looks the same. You find what works for you." You nod.

"Working on it."

"Well what can I do to help? How can I support you?" You ask.

"You don't wanna run for the hills?" He asks.

"Why would I? I told you before I don't turn away from people I care about and you, well I love you. Nothing you've told me changes that." You tell him. He lets out a sigh and tips his head back in relief.

"You're too good for me." He says with a laugh. You climb into his lap and wrap your arms around his neck.

"No I'm not." You tell him hugging him closely. He loops his arms around your waist and holds you to him tightly- enjoying the peace that's settled over him having told you pretty much everything. He's content here, with you in his arms, soft Jazz music filling the silence as you indulge in each other.

~*~*~

"Bucky hurry up we're gonna be late!" You yell at him as you grab your purse.

"Relax doll, flight's not for another a few hours. We'll make it." He says coming down the hall with yours and his duffle bags.

"We still have to get there and check in you know. Also are you allowed to fly with that metal arm? Do you have to like run it through customs or something?" You ask as the two of you leave your apartment and make your way outside to hail a cab.

"First of all babe we're flying domestic. Second of all it's fine I just opt for the pat down instead of the metal detectors." He says chuckling as you wave down a taxi.

"I know we're flying domestic- what's that gotta do with your metal arm?" You ask as he places your bags in the backseat on one side while you slide in on the other.

"Baby there's no customs for domestic flights. That's an international thing." He says.

"Airport please." You tell the cab driver. "Well excuse me Pitbull I don't travel as often as you." You scoff.

"Why are you calling me a pitbull?!" He blinks at you.

"Not a pitbull- Pitbull the rapper. Nicknamed Mister Worldwide because like- oh never mind, it's a modern pop culture thing." You tell him.

"Hm, I'll add him to my list." Bucky says.

"I dunno if you'd like him. But okay." You laugh. The ride to the airport is short and you're soon tugging Bucky through the airport breezing through security checkpoints until you arrive at your gate.

"See darling? We made it with plenty of time to spare." He says as you both sit down and wait to board.

"Oh hush. I just wanna make it to Louisiana without any problems."

"We will." He laughs. The two of you are going to Louisiana to spend the holidays with Sam and his family. Bucky's been dying to introduce you but he wanted the timing to be right first. The two of you board the plane shortly after and you spend the plane ride reading a book while Bucky watches movies. When you arrive it's already night and the two of you make it quickly to your hotel room where you get ready for bed knowing tomorrow you'll have a full day of meeting people.

When you get to Sam's family home the following afternoon you're honestly feeling a little nervous.

"Relax doll they're gonna love you." Bucky tells you as he knocks at the door.

"I hope so." You mumble.

"I know so." He kisses your temple. A Black woman opens the door with a smile.

"Bucky! You're here! Welcome." She smiles hugging him.

"Hi Sarah, good to see you again. This is y/n, my girlfriend." Bucky says.

"It's nice to meet you! I'm Sarah, Sam's sister!" She greets you happily.

"Nice to meet you too, thank you for having us." You smile.

"Well come on in! Everyone's here, Sam's running around with the kids somewhere." She moves out of the way to usher you both inside. The two of you follow her inside and two boys run up to you yelling happily.

"Uncle Bucky!" The two boys yell.

"Hey! What's up boys!" He shouts as the two kids grab his legs and he ruffles their hair. You smile to yourself as you watch the interaction. "Y/n baby meet Jimmy and JC, they're Sarah's kids, Sam's nephews!" Bucky beams at you.

"Hi boys, it's so nice to meet you. Bucky talks about you a lot." You smile.

"Hi!" Jimmy smiles at you.

"Hi. Who are you?" JC tilts his head.

"She's my girlfriend. Her name is y/n." Bucky says.

"You have a girlfriend?!" Jimmy blinks. You laugh.

"He does! Shocking I know." You wink.

"Alright! Where's Uncle Sam?" Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Living room!" JC says.

"Thanks kid." Bucky says leading you further into the house.

"Aye! Tin man's here!" Sam cross the room to meet you and Bucky.

"What's up bird brain?" Bucky says as the two embrace.

"And you must be the marvelous y/n." Sam smiles at you.

"Hi Sam! It's nice to meet you." You chuckle.

"Oh the pleasure is truly all mine. Bucky talks about you all the time." Sam says.

"Shut up." Bucky scoffs.

"I hope he's been nice." You joke.

"He's so nice you could get cavities from how sweet he is on you." Sam tells you.

"Dude!" Bucky shoves him.

"Ah relax man I'm sure she already knows how fucking whipped you are." Sam shrugs.

"Language!" You point at him. Sam blinks at you.

"Wait-what? Did you just language check me?!" Sam's mouth drops open as he glances at Bucky.

"I sure did! There are kids here everywhere! Watch your mouth." You tell him.

"Man I ain't heard someone say language like that in years." Sam shakes his head.

"Anyway! I'm gonna go see if Sarah needs help in the kitchen. Y/n would you like to come with?" Bucky asks.

"Aw come on don't take her away from me yet. I only just met her." Sam protests.

"I'll join you in a little bit Buck. I'd like to talk to Sam some more first. Get to know your best friend." You tell your boyfriend with a soft smile.

"Alright, you know where to find me if you need anything." He says kissing your temple. Sam quirks an eyebrow at the shortened version of his nickname.

"Of course." You smile back at him as he walks off.

"So! Tell me all about yourself, and what it's like dating the machine with a staring problem." Sam says dragging you to the couch with him as you laugh. The two of you chat your way through the afternoon until it's time for dinner where you join the others and get to know the rest of Sam's family. The atmosphere is light and cheerful throughout dinner and once it's done most of the guests split off while you offer to help Sarah with clean up. And with you occupied doing that Sam and Bucky are left to their own devices.

"Looks like you and y/n get along well." Bucky muses.

"She's amazing Bucky. Funny and charming and obviously she cares about you a lot. You have a good thing with her." Sam says looking over at you in the kitchen as you laugh at something Sarah said.

"I know. I love her. I don't think I can live without her." Bucky says.

"I can tell. I've never seen you this happy." Sam says.

"I haven't been this happy since before the war actually." Bucky tells him.

"She calls you Buck." Sam points out.

"Yeah- sometimes." Bucky shrugs.

"You never let anyone but Steve call you that." Sam says.

"She's the exception." Bucky says.

"And the language checks?"

"What about them?"

"She's good for you Bucky. She makes you happy, makes you more human- but you know she's not Steve. Right?"

"Of course I fucking do." Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Look I'm only saying- just don't fuck up a good thing by expecting it to be something else. Don't expect her to be like Steve."

"Yeah. I'm not expecting that." Bucky grumbles. Sam drops the subject then and it's not until hours later, once you've both returned to your hotel for the night, that Bucky thinks about it again while you're sleeping. Bucky takes a seat at the hotel room desk with a pen and notepad in front of him.

I miss you. Sometimes I still can't believe you left the way you did. I have a girlfriend now. She's everything I could want in a partner and then some. Sam thinks I see her as a new version of you. Maybe I do. She doesn't look anything like you, but she does act like you. The same kind of music you liked haunts her bedroom. She makes me feel like me again. Sam thinks so too. But he's got me worried that I'm gonna fuck this up because of you.

Bucky puts the pen down when he notices you shift in bed.

"Bucky? Is everything alright?" You mumble tiredly when you realize he's not beside you anymore. Bucky climbs back into bed with you and kisses your forehead.

"I'm fine doll, just had to take care of something. Let's go back to sleep." He says. You curl into him and mutter a sleepy 'okay' before dozing off again.

The next morning you wake before Bucky, quite unusual but you don't think much of it as you run down to the lobby to grab some breakfast for you both. You grab yourself some cereal and some scrambled eggs and bacon for Bucky and take them back upstairs. When you get back to your room Bucky is still in bed but he's clearly awake now.

"Good morning Buck!" You smile.

"Mornin doll. Where'd you go?" He mutters.

"Just to the lobby, wanted to get breakfast before it ended. Got you eggs and bacon." You tell him. Bucky sits up with a groan as you hand him his plate in bed.

"Thanks doll." Bucky says as you sit at the desk with your bowl of cereal.

"Did you sleep well darling?" You ask putting on Chet Baker.

"Always do when you're next to me." He says.

"That's why Sam calls you whipped." You scoff.

"Maybe, but Sam is single and I'm not. So who's really winning?" Bucky winks. You laugh and shake your head but don't say much else as you eat your breakfast. Bucky finishes before you and goes to shower while you finish off your second bowl. Your eyes drift idly across the desk to the notepad with Bucky's handwriting scrawled on it. You frown slightly as your eyes flit across the page.

I miss you.

What is this?

Sometimes I still can't believe you left the way you did.

Who is he talking about?

I have a girlfriend now. She's everything I could want in a partner and then some.

You try to figure out who this could be addressed, but no one comes to mind. You thought Bucky told you about everyone important in his life.

Sam thinks I see her as a new version of you.

A new version of who?

Maybe I do.

You frown at the letter. Why would he see you as a new version of someone else?

She doesn't look anything like you, but she does act like you.

You act like them? You don't understand. Who is this letter to?

The same kind of music you liked haunts her bedroom.

You glance at your phone, still softly playing music.

She makes me feel like me again. Sam thinks so too.

That part makes you smile a bit. He feels like himself again. That makes you happy a bit.

But he's got me worried that I'm gonna fuck this up because of you.

Because of WHO?!? Your mind is racing as you try to figure out who this is for. What is he talking about? Why wouldn't he tell you about this? With all those questions you don't notice Bucky getting out of the shower.

"You done eating doll?" You snap out of your thoughts at the question.

"Sorry, what?" You blink at him. Bucky frowns at you.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I just- I found this note you wrote." You tell him holding out the notepad to him. He takes it from you. "Buck- who were you writing to?" You ask so quietly your voice is barely audible. Bucky blows out a breath.

"Y/n-"

"You said I was like them. And that Sam thinks you're trying to replace them with me. Who am I replacing?"

"No one! Y/n I promise it's not what you think."

"Who are you writing to Bucky?" You ask. On one hand, you feel guilty for prying, Bucky doesn't have to tell you everything about everything he does, but on the other this note- you can't let it remain unanswered. It'll eat you alive.

"Steve." Bucky says.

"What?" You frown.

"I'm writing Steve. I didn't address it to him because I can't send it to him. I just... had a lot on my mind- thought I'd feel better if I wrote about it." Bucky explains with a shrug.

"Steve- this is all about Steve?" You look at him.

"Something like that." Bucky says.

"Why can't you send it to him?" You ask. Bucky sighs and sits on the bed knowing it's time to explain.

"Steve went back to the 40s. I don't even know where he is anymore."

"Wait he did what? How is that even possible?" You frown turning the desk chair to face him.

"After the blip- the Avengers that were still around had to invent time travel to bring everyone back- went into the past to get the infinity stones and undo what Thanos did but to avoid ruining the timeline they had to take the stones back to where they got them from. Steve was on return duty and... he chose to stay in the 40s. With Peggy." Bucky says.

"Wow." You mumble.

"I was angry with him- for a while. How else was I supposed to feel when the one person that promised to always be there for me abandons me without so much as a goodbye?"

"Bucky." You say sadly.

"I'm not angry anymore- but sometimes- sometimes I wonder, Steve and I have been together since we were kids- despite our wildly different life paths we found each other again 70 years in the future. What are the odds really? I always thought it meant we were gonna be together through thick and thin- but... if a friendship that managed to survive one of the cruelest tests of time wasn't enough to keep us together- what would make anyone else stick around?" Bucky muses.

"Do I really remind you of him? You think I'll leave?" You ask him quietly.

"You don't look anything like him. Don't have any common background- but somehow you act- so much like him. Even Sam could see it. I mean- I know you don't have a dame in the 40s that you regret not getting to spend your life with but- what if you find something worth leaving for?"

"There's not a damn thing in this world that would make me leave you behind."

"Steve and I used to tell each other- 'I'm with you til the end of the line'- line didn't end yet. But Steve got off the train." Bucky shrugs.

"Bucky I'm not going anywhere."

"I wanna believe you- I just- I can't shake the feeling- Steve left, Steve who's known me for a century... left. What's stopping you?"

"Is that what the last part is about? You're worried you're going to fuck it up because you see Steve and me as similar and you think that since he left I will too?" You say walking over to him and sitting beside him. He glances at you for a moment before looking back at his hands, shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Yes- and when I think about the fact that you might leave like Steve-" Bucky trails off.

"I can tell you all day long that I'm not going anywhere because it's true. But I can't make you believe it. I'll just remind you until you realize it. I'll be here for you while you heal, after you heal, forever, James." You say.

"I love you." He says quietly.

"I love you too." You wrap your arms around him and place your head on his shoulder. Bucky knows it's not easy to be with him but he's trying to get better, and you've been nothing but supportive. You make him feel more human than he's felt in years, and that's something he wants to hold onto.

***