#have not cried that hard in months
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I just finally finished my first bg3 save and I don't think I've ever cried so much and so hard over a single other piece of media. Gods, I love this game so much
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#oh my gods#i cant#amazing game#like 10/10#But wow#have not cried that hard in months#I cried no less than 8 times between beating the brain and the start of the credits#And then another 3 times during the credits#Like wow
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)
(but it did inspire me)
on another note
finally!!
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#kurogiri#I cried a bit while playing it I missed the classic LoV I missed Kurogiri WITH the LoV it's been so long :(#and it feels like last chapter (423 atm) broke the seal of sketching them as anything but something static#it took me two or so days to just understand that Kurogiri is... yeah#I can't believe it took Horikoshi so long to bring him back but as I said and will say it again I glad it happened at all#after some thought I just want to sit with the chapters#anyway getting the preordered book was so much fun#it was full of LoV from Toga and Dabi talking about her house to Tenko being upset over being told that he doesn't have friends#and everything in-between basically only Compress left to join in the next volume#I think????#I actually want to get another one already they're so goodddd#and the translation sounds pretty good but I checked some pages not the whole book it'll be boring#it's actually so weird to think that I started a goal of reading the whole series ad it was now officially coming out like this back in 201#and now it's 2024 and the translation is pretty much ahead of anime and maybe it'll be faster than viz volumes too#since it's 2 in 1 basically - I think it's really great since I save some money but get LoV chapters every time#because they appear every 2 books at the start of the series and back then it was hard for me to get them#but I felt content seeing all the books that I bought when I was visiting family for holidays this month because there are so many of them#and I don't need any wi-fi or internet in general to read them back to back now with an addictional volume#they have some mistakes but I don't mind them it feels good to just hold all of them (and a bit heavy after like 8 books) and now it's 18
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#stargate#stargate sg1#stargateedit#jonas quinn#sam carter#mine#*#the heartbreak on his little face... oh man#and sam realizing that she just kicked a puppy so hard#and he definitely cried in his room after this#poor guy#i mean those first months must have been rough for him#how did they put it in that magazine... “untrusted unwanted and alone”#he just wanted to belong
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I adore you, I do, I do. We’ll be just fine.
this song and this fic go so well together and reading it while listening to the song makes everything hurt even more O;IAERGO;IAHEO;RGIHAERO;GIAO;RGIH ITS SO GOOD
#the hobbit#bilbo baggins#Thorin Oakenshield#bagginshield#my art#(also the mv is really good too it makes me cry O;AERIGHAO;EIRG)#i had this idea months ago but i couldnt work on it cuz i was doing the collab project#BUT AS SOON AS I FINISHED I STARTED ON THIS AND I CRIED THE WHOLE TIME CUZ I HAD THIS SONG ON BLAST THE WHOLE TIME#its hard to tell too but they have wedding rings on both of their left hands--#i struggled with this actually a lot and id pick at it more BUT I NEED TO MOVE ON AND DOODLE OTHER BAGGINSHIELD THINGS#I'M STILL SUPER HAPPY WITH IT TOO SO!!!!
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i care him so much guys . guys. hes blorbo bingus
#someone on discord wanted him to be tarred and feathered#fop#just doodles#dale dimmadome#fop a new wish#thinks about his childhood and cries so hard i throw up. thinks about how he could've gotten help but none of the adults in his life cared#enough to get him what he needed#thinks about how he could've avoided continuing the cycle of dismissal and neglect#after he escaped the stupid ass evil dungeon he could only eat plain white bread for a month until his body adjusted to Actual Food#and he took 5 hour long showers every single day and would scrub until he drew blood#hes very deeply traumatised and having a real rough time adjusting to 'normal life' and doug just waves everything off#'chin up sport!' and buys him some random shit before going down a new rabbit hole business endeavour#imagine he finds out about the ransom. that doug knew and just didn't care enough to get him. oh mygod#HE HAS THE PICTURE. IN THE NEW SHOW. so he definitely finds out eventually#and doug wouldnt even try to hide it he literally just Did Not Care#i'm sick.
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What I Think Each Member of the Bad Batch’s Favorite Taylor Swift Album(s) Would Be (Plus Bonus Phee and Bonus Fives)
Hunter- Taylor Swift
Wrecker- Tie between 1989 and Fearless
Tech- Red for “All Too Well” alone (he’s very into lyrics and their meanings; also enjoys Folklore and Evermore)
Crosshair- Reputation (he’s also a really big fan of Red and Lover, but Reputation has a special place in his heart; he’s a huge Swiftie though so he likes all of them)
Omega- Speak Now (Reputation is a very close second because Crosshair likes it so much)
Echo- Folklore (followed very closely by Midnights and TTPD)
Phee- Tie between Red and Evermore
Fives- Midnights
#I need tech and Phee to get married so “Willow can play at their wedding#tech knows all the words to the ten minute version of All Too Well#so does Crosshair but he does not sing that song with the same level of chill that tech does#he’s not chill at all he is crying in the car and thinking of his ex#Crosshair cried so hard listening to a sad Taylor swift playlist once that he threw up#hunter has never let him forget this#the song Red is SO TechPhee#like losing him was blue like I’ve never known??? missing him was dark gray all alone????#are you kidding me#Fives goes WILD listening to Anti-Hero#he annoyed Echo for a month straight by constantly singing that song#Echo LOVES Folklore#I have a lot of thoughts on this#crosshair is a Swiftie#by God I will make that a tag#star wars tbb#star wars the bad batch#tbb crosshair#the bad batch#arc trooper echo#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb tech#tbb wrecker#tbb phee#phee genoa#tech x phee#techphee#arc trooper fives headcanon
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Hilda fandom I have not forgotten you this month has just been a hell of a year
#IM WORKING ON PLENISM I SWEAR#it’s been almost a month cries#BUT IM WORKING ON IT#I’m wanting to build a backlog of at least 5 chapters#so I’ve got ammo stocked up for when I come back#just very busy rn and it’s hard to find time#same story for the stickers! shit I gotta figure out a nd it’s taking forever and I don’t have a lot of time rn#textpost#hmmm I need a random thoughts tag#blethering#<- that’ll do#Hilda
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after being unemployed for a month and being denied by every single place I applied - i got a job today 🥹 managing a candy store that also sells stuffies 🥹
#piper says#almost cried when i answered the phone#this month has been so hard i am so grateful to have income again#also the best possible place for me to be??#literally kid in a candy store
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I somehow found myself looking at pictures from the two Cup races at Road America the other night, and I'm still fucking fuming over the world-class screwjob NASCAR gave the track and the fans. This is what they threw away:
one of the most prestigious tracks in the world
drew over 100k people for each Cup race
the fan experience is second-to-none
it's in Wisconsin, probably second only to North Carolina when it comes to stock car racing but somehow snubbed by the Cup series for nearly 70 years, despite producing game-changing, legendary racers from to Dick Trickle and Dave Marcis to Alan Kulwicki and Matt Kenseth; and being crucial to the careers of guys like Mark Martin and Rusty Wallace
it's affordable ($140 for the weekend pass in 2022, kids under 16 get in free, all kinds of camping and accommodations allowed, free parking, outside food allowed), especially when compared to the Chicago street race it was dumped for (GA starts at $269…)
it was likely the only time my broke, disabled ass could have afforded to go to a race
it's beautiful
and the drivers loved it:
"I miss going to Road America. That's a beautiful area. A track with a lot of history. The fans were always great there as well. So yes, I do miss going there." - Kyle Larson
"I love Road America. The fans there are awesome, they really, really love racing in general, and it's super deserving of a Cup date, I think. It's a beautiful track, a massive racetrack that always puts on a really good show. I look forward to going there again... because the track is so great and the people up there love racing." - Ryan Blaney
"Road America is a great track. The fan turnout last year was amazing. It’s a huge track and there were people all over the place, so it really had a great atmosphere. I’m looking forward to going back this weekend. " - Denny Hamlin
“I was super nervous leaving Daytona for our July 4th race, for NASCAR that's been a tradition that's been in place for many years... I had a lot of emotional ties to that [race]… Man, we came up here last year and I was blown away, I really was. The people are nice, it's a beautiful area, people are outside and enjoying the racetrack, and I felt like they couldn't have received us better, trying to start a new tradition somewhere. … I feel like it's been a really nice fit for us and the people around here have accepted us with open arms.” - Chase Elliott
"What better place than Road America? I love the fans. I love this racetrack. Being here on 4th of July weekend is just so special." - Tyler Reddick
“I think this is a special racetrack to any racer, you know, you hear guys like Mario Andretti talk about it being the most complete racetrack in the world. The fans that come out to this place… it’s such a great atmosphere, such a great family atmosphere. It makes you wanna do it even more, as a driver.” - Austin Cindric
“Road America has always been one of my favorite racetracks in anything I’ve driven over my career there. … I love the crowd there, the Wisconsin race fans, they pack that place in.” - AJ Allmendinger
“Road America, I can’t say it enough–it’s such a nice facility. It’s like you go to a state park and there’s a racetrack there, it’s so beautiful. The fans are always awesome every time we go, and from a racetrack standpoint I think it’s really one of the best road courses in the country in my opinion. It just has so many different elements… It really has everything you look for in a road course.” - Chase Briscoe
“I think more than anything that the fans in Wisconsin deserve a race up there, and they come out in droves. It’s a fun atmosphere in that area.” - Austin Dillon
“Clearly the fans were hungry for this kind of race. It’s a great weekend to have it. Being Independence weekend, it feels like we might’ve found a new home for Fourth of July.” - Brad Keselowski
“Road America was amazing and I’m missing that.” - Alex Bowman
"Road America is arguably one of the most beautiful race tracks we go to, as well as one of the biggest fan bases we go to, one of the most passionate fan bases we go to, just a great facility.” - Justin Allgaier
“You know, I really enjoyed going up to Road America. I think the fan support of that race in general was incredible and I’m excited that we get to go back this year.” - Martin Truex Jr.
“It’s been amazing. I think the first time by I used a few expletives describing just how awesome the experience was coming around at speed. … This track has been on my wishlist since I was a young kid watching racing, and to finally be here is really special.” - Jimmie Johnson
"I’ve never heard a bad thing about Road America. You hear so many great stories about people racing here and doing things here and how great the race track was." - Kevin Harvick
“From a driver's perspective, there's not a racetrack we go to that's more fun.” - Regan Smith
"It was fun. I really enjoyed Road America and just the whole challenge of running here ... I really enjoyed coming up here today and the Wisconsin people were great. … The fans here were just ecstatic that the Cup Series was here. It was a lot of fun." - Kurt Busch
Even Dale Jr.
“Daytona Beach was the tradition for July 4th. … You know me, man, I hate changes in NASCAR. … I’ll be honest, man. [Road America] was awesome. It really was. It was awesome! … We rode around [the track] in a rental car… and that’s when you can really pick up on just how many people are there, how much camping is there, this place is beautiful. You would go and enjoy that experience even if there wasn’t a racetrack! … So I’m sold, man. Road America was – I was a bit taken aback by it. … That part of the country, they are passionate about motorsports. I was impressed. I think it’s a great place, sign a ten year agreement. Let’s go.” – Dale Earnhardt Jr.
#don't mind me i'm just angry forever but no one irl cares lmao#i was born into loving this sport and i have never been able to go to a fucking cup race#the two years they were here i didn't have a car and no one wanted to go with me#i finally had a car again at the end of 2022 and this was literally the first thing i thought about#i actually cried when they announced the 2023 schedule#i don't have a problem with the street race in chicago#i just want road america back idc what time of year#why does nascar make it so hard to be a fan#there's gonna be 3 indycar races in wisconsin next year and their season is like 4 months shorter than nascar's#nascar#wisconsin
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Happy Tuesday! Back with another life update:
F U C K .
#i stfg... the day that i beat this trial im going to buy a lottery ticket. maybe 2#until then... fuck everything. this POS wanderer... and the horse it rode in on 🤬#if it didnt lock its stupid shield twice i would have had it 🤬🤬🤬#UUUUUGGGGHHHHHDKSLDBDVLSMSBSKELGSIXOCKCMGMG#love and Deepspace#the only reason im still playing this fking game is to beat this stupid open trial. im having fucking nightmares about it at this point#ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS FFS#ive beaten higher level battles with WAY shittier memories WHY THE HELL IS THIS SO HARD 💀#ash battle cries#ughhhhhh#im going to go play dauntless now so i can actually kick the shit out of behemoths and feel good about myself again. good night#.... if youre still here im sorry for the rant. this level is ruining my life lol
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#i dunno man#everytime i read some new thing about covid and long covid#i just feel like im losing my marbles#im the only one still masking it feels like#nobody at my drs offices wear them even the soecialists#my therapist acts like this is an irrational fear of mine#so i dont talk about it as much#shes happy im not isolating myself. and not full of crippling guilt when i do go out#which is good#i agree with her on that#but. ive been numbering my bags with my n95s since i rewear them a few times#ive been using n95s since i took this job. three years in october#which is wild the longest ive worked in one place is just over a year--all seasonal work or short internships. not because i leave#or get fired/laid off#but im getting down to the end of the alphabet#i dont know what ill do when i do#literally as far as labels but also like. its a lot you know?#im debating trying new mask styles. i wanted to ages ago but hoped. i wouldnt need to wear them for much longer#now it feels like i always will.#so. second best time to plant a tree and all.#i want to get out and make friends and do fun stuff. but it's so fuckibg hard and scary#how can i make friends when i cant relax in small indoor spaces#when i. cant eat out at restaurants (due to food issues and masking)#when inviting people to my house makes me anxious for days#how can i make friends under those circumstances?#im so lonely. and so envious#of my friends who do stuff and gave partners. i want that for me but i cant have it. before it was because i moved. ecery 3-6 months#now its this. is it realky any wonder that i nearly cried reading that fic the other day#when Etho took off his mask. and it was treated so fucking kindly and like the trust geasture it was? that it would be. for me?#maybe trust is the wrong word. i dont know. comfort? feeling safe in a space with someone who respects me and my health?
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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this might just be the neurodivergency speaking but i dont understand how people can just like. not have atleast a week after finishing something to just. think about it.
#lagtrained is silly#like i just finished in stars and time and i think with how hard i cried i have to have at absolute minimum like two weeks to reflect#even then itll probably be a couple months#and when i originally finished markipliers inscryption playthrough i sat through all the credits and even paused the video#and dont get me started on slay the princess.#the only game i have 100%ed ever.
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Definitely not me delaying turing off my phone and going to bed to research things for what might be my next tattoos.
#and the funny thing is i have more or less the rest of my sleeve planned but the two main pieces i am thunking for that are#not what i feel like i need rn#idk how to explain it it happened to me before to know i wanted something but it was not the right moment#i just know#for the past months i have had this feeling of i want a tattoo mmbut those two are not what i need right now and#i felt like what i would need right now is something with leaves don't ask me why i feel like botanical pieces are what i need on my body rn#and then last week in class i have this flash of the placement and what to get and how and i have been thinking about it so hard#so now i am looking furhter into the symbolism of the herbs i was thinking about getting#so than i can amrinate this for months and see if it's really what i want#i think it would turn out to be pretty cool and let me tell you i was already vibing with the plants as a gardener and as a tea maker#but after looking in the symbolism i am vibing even more#cris speaks#the---hermit
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GUYSSSSSS
GUYS
LADS
AHHHHHHHHH
I GOT MY IRISH CITIZENSHIP
I
AM
IRISH
!!!
#*criesandcriesandcriesandcries*#official next month but I HAVE BEEN APPROVED#☘️☘️☘️#personal#I have earned this#I HAVE WORKED HARD FOR THIS#I HAVE WAITED 8 AND A HALF YEARS FOR THIS!!!#*cries some more*
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