#have kids its the fact that she never expressed the desire and in fact on multiple occasions rejected the premise of motherhood who had a

[bigbagofgabriel]

I'm starting to think she's not gonna get a shivbortion :/

[weepingchronicles]

platonic yandere strade headcanons tw/cw: strade being a whole warning himself, yandere behavior, manipulation, kidnapping, drugging, torture, slight gore, dead, reader is fucked up too!! animal death mention, cussing a/n: this may be ooc since i dont even know if it would be possible for strade to feel love at all especially platonic but lolz

Okay so I wanted to make this sort of believable for Strade which is hard since he never shows remorse or care for anything. Treating Ren as a pet is the closet we ever seen him care for someone other than himself. From what I know is that he's always been like this since he was born. It didn't stem from trauma or anything like that.. so I got the idea, what if its genetic?

I don't think Strade kills everyone he fucks, definitely hurts them but maybe a long time ago he was drunk and had a one night stand and accidentally let the girl get away.

Then years later, imagine Strade finding out he actually has a kid? To be honest, he probably wouldn't even care, maybe a little curious but wants nothing more to do with you besides knowing your name.

But when he finds out you're just like him? Dude is ecstatic!

You're definitely not as sadistic as him and have higher empathy but I imagine you learned you liked the feeling of hurting people from an early age.. liking the feeling of control. You started small, killing random rodents or prodding at dead animals you came across with morbid curiosity.

Your mother was actually good and sent you to the psychologist which helped diagnosed you. You learned that your behavior was not regular and learned methods to deal with your urges.

You don't hurt people, you might have a tiny criminal record from the time you got into a bar fight or stole a couple things but that's it.

For Strade, it doesn't matter. He gets the closest thing to familial love when it comes to you. To know that his own blood is like him creates an urge to hone that desire within you.

He quickly "reunites" with your mother and uses her to help track you down.

You had just finished your late night shift at your workplace when you notice a man smoking a cigar staring at you, leaning against his car.

You pay no mind, heading to your car. This has happened before and it always ended with them regretting walking up to you.

Right as you open the car door it is slammed shut again, this time the man smoking is right in front of you.

He has an over-charismatic smirk that you know too well, because you have it as well.

He ends up drugging and taking you back to his place, with his victims he didn't care if they got hurt, but he doesn't get that urge with you.

You wake up tied to a chair in a basement littered with utility tools, you were groggy but overall fine. What most stood out to you wasn't the coppery smell in the air or the fact you just got kidnapped but there was a girl very close to you tied up to a pole.

She is bloody and bruised, you notice an overwhelming amount of blood staining her thigh. Shame floods your mind, guilty because her blood excited you.

"Pretty sight, eh?"

You were too absorbed in your thoughts to notice the man that had kidnapped you appeared right beside you, a wide smirk on his face as he peered down at the girl.

Although he enjoyed the frightened expression and confusion on your face, he explained to you that he was your father. It made sense, you had never known your father since you were born and your mother refused to talk about him, you never knew why. Your dad being a sadistic killer seems like a pretty good reason in hindsight.

What made you angry was the fact that Strade insisted that you were the same as him. The same? You're no killer and definitely don't kidnap people just to torture them. You've learned your problems and worked through it.

That's what you tell him but Strade chuckles, petting his unconscious victims hair as he talks with you. This guy is fucking weird.

"That's what you think, but I know you and I are the same. It's a shame, you never got to experience your true desires.. until now."

You perked up at what he meant but as he untied you, you understood.

He places a knife in your hand and wakes up his victim whose already half-dead by kicking her wound.

The girl wakes up, disoriented and in pain. But now there's two people in front of her, her kidnapper and someone with a knife.

You could end this all now, stab your father bloody and get out of here- go back to your ordinary life.

"Go on, sweetheart. I know you want to hurt them as badly as I, hear them scream."

You tug the knife harder, your face riddled with concentration and debate. The girl's pleas fall deaf on your ears, the feeling of Strade comfortingly rubbing your shoulder is what makes you take the first step, then the first stab.

You blink and suddenly return to a gory mess. Whatever happened, whatever you did, it went by like a dazy dream. You return to your senses, Strade is laughing maniacally behind you and you drop the knife. You still hear the girl's last wheezes before her heart finally stops beating. You killed her, you try to justify it. Maybe it was good, you ended her pain but you could have turned the knife onto Strade yet you didn't.

Your breathing is heavy and your heart thumps for the wrong reasons- excitement.

You almost forgot Strade is still there until he comes near you and ruffles your hair- like he was congratulating his kid on their first victory score.

"'Knew you had it in you, you're going to be the perfect protégé for me."

[sarahjacobs]

“If I’ve done my job right, it makes a statement that’s bigger than the newsies,” [Fierstein] said. “It’s about a bunch of kids changing the world, about handing over the world to a new generation.”

[source]

i find this quote fascinating because fierstein seems to imply that the 92 film didn’t “[make] a statement that's bigger than the newsies,” which is why he changed the framing of the strike from being about the rich vs the poor to the young vs the old. from a class struggle to a generational divide. and i really want to take this opportunity to think through newsies through a politically nihilist lens, keeping in mind that a) i don't think the film is a perfect political text either, nor do i believe such a thing is possible, and b) this is a springboard of sorts to critique a broader pattern of how leftist movements and history are represented and talked about.

katherine often unfairly catches a lot of flak when this thematic overhaul is critiqued, but the issue doesn’t lie in katherine’s inclusion. it’s more about how she was written to say things like “their mistake is they got old,” in conjunction with how the writers cut out every adult ally who wasn’t medda and roosevelt (and slotted in hannah to replace seitz as the sole advisor who pushes back against the price hike). denton was cut, of course. and sure, the trolley workers still serve as inspiration for the newsie strike, but we don’t actually see them like we did in 92. mayer, who is similarly used as a reason to strike (“if your father had a union, you wouldn’t be out here sellin’ papes right now”) but isn’t shown. the mention of his overwhelming support for the strike was also cut.

it’s even in the little things. compare and contrast the small moment in which, after denton bails the newsies out, a waiter tries to refuse when denton gives him money to cover their food expenses, to how on broadway, jacobi still charges two cents for seltzer, then shoos the newsies away to make room for paying customers.

(also i would be remiss if i didn’t at least briefly talk about how sarah was cut entirely, not even a passing mention reserved for her. and while her potential was never fully realized in 92, the fact that sarah, a child laborer who worked in the garment industry, helped produce and distribute the newsies banner feels significant to me in further marking the transition from a purely newsie strike to a more generalized children’s strike.)

additionally, more dialogue and lyrics that criticize adults were written in. and to be fair, there’s a trace of this in 92, as they sing, “and the torch is passed,” as well as “and the old will fall / and the young stand tall” in twwk (i believe these are the only instances of this). but on broadway, it is wayyy more recurring and explicit. i’m not going to list them all out because the only instance i actually want to talk about in depth is this —

ROOSEVELT: (recognizing this historical moment) Each generation must, at the height of its power, step aside and invite the young to share the day. You have laid claim to our world and I believe the future, in your hands, will be bright and prosperous.

— which is a deeply revealing line, one that shows the progressivist heart of the broadway production. and by progressivism, i mean the myth that history is a linear story of progress, and no matter what, we are always marching towards a brighter future. as bædan argues, politics revolve around futurity, which revolves around the image of the Child — think of how often children are evoked in politics as an unassuming, blank slate that deserve unique protection from evil. in left wing spaces, this is often expressed in the desire to improve the world for future generations; “the future is kid stuff,” as lee edelman claims.

but the Child, futurity, and progressivism are all problematic — it's a kind of cruel optimism. these ideas ask people to be content with horrifying conditions today, and with bitterly disappointing reformism, because progress is slow while simultaneously being certain. and yet the future, and the utopia it promises, is always hovering on the horizon… but never within reach. all of this points to a general “[misrecognition of] promise as an achievement.”

i would also argue that anything that uncritically valorizes youth movements, or the Youth more generally, plays into this. and don’t get me wrong, youth liberation is a real thing, and the age of the newsies and katherine does play a role in how they’re perceived (“i'm young, i ain't stupid”). but resistance is always delegitimized, most often by discounting them as violent, illegal, or outside agitators... and flatly rendering the conflict of newsies into a matter of age obfuscates precisely what they are struggling against — complex power structures that privilege the upper class and men. as mayer and the trolley workers show, it doesn’t really matter if they’re kids or adults, the newsies would still be crushed under the heel of the boss because they’re workers, doubly so because they’re poor.

and being young, just like the future, doesn’t guarantee anything, least of all a kind of politic. young people aren’t exempt from engaging in and replicating harmful dynamics. many are privileged in some way — because of their whiteness, class, gender, etc — or they’re desperate to attain privilege. and as a result, they have a vested interest in the uninterrupted existence of varying systems of domination, rather than its abolition. take the delanceys, who are around jack’s age, and yet they’re actively involved in breaking the strike. their age doesn’t automatically guarantee their allyship; as hired muscle, or “rent a cops,” they act in favor of protecting capital and the state, as all cops do.

too often movements populated by young faces are turned into feel good spectacles of how “the kids are alright,” that these so called revolutionaries are going to be the leaders of tomorrow, and how the future therefore looks “bright and prosperous,” to borrow roosevelt’s words. but implicit in this messaging is not only the continuance of the current social order, which is fucked and rotten to the core and needs to be destroyed, but the Youth assimilating and integrating into these systems.

take a look at how the skills jack used to rebel (his charisma and art) were met with repression at first but praised and rewarded at the end.

PULITZER: (to JACK) I can’t help thinking… if one of your drawings convinced the governor to close The Refuge, what might a daily political cartoon do to expose the dealings in our own government back rooms?

it’s worth noting the framing of this job offer — jack is not only being given a chance to climb the professional ladder, but he's specifically being hired to use his artistic skills for what essentially amounts to activism. and i use the term activism critically; it packages resistance, something anyone can do, into a specialized/professionalized role, a class of people separate from ordinary people. this makes it similar to a job, or, in jack's case, an actual salaried position. and as “give up activism” points out, all of this renders activism an “accepted form of dissent.”

additionally, jack using the world as an outlet for his discontent with the current state of affairs automatically defangs him. after all, how much social change can jack really push for in the inherently exploitative context of a worker-boss relationship? how effective can jack really be when his ideas are mediated to the public via a company like the world, which ordered a news blackout of the strike and used its wealth and power to violently crackdown on the newsies? that concerns itself with whether or not its papers are marketable to the masses and therefore profitable? anything jack publishes will have to go through a process of approval, filtered through a boss who derisively calls roosevelt a socialist, then a communist. this means jack can continue to publish his drawings, continue his activism, so long as he’s not threatening the interests of the world. what a huge constraint!

more broadly speaking, integration and assimilation can be seen in the recurring idea of power being transferred throughout newsies — from “just look around at the world we’re inheriting / and think of the one we’ll create,” to “you’re getting too old, too weak to keep holding on / a new world is gunning for you, and joe, we is too.” and finally, roosevelt claiming that the future “in your hands,” as in, under your leadership, is bright. but i take issue with the very notion of power, of leadership itself. as katherine quotes, “power tends to corrupt,” and while she proposes that corruption can be avoided so long as “[we] stay young forever,” having youthful, friendly faces in positions of power is meaningless when the very systems that facilitated any abuse of power are allowed to persist.

i want to close this out with an excerpt from serafinski's blessed is the flame:

The “progress of society” might be better described as the “evolution of systems of power,” and as Bædan reminds us: “any progressive development can only mean a more sophisticated system of misery and exploitation.”

think of the differences and similarities between the 1899 that newsies portrays and where we stand now. how history has been an unceasing transfer of power between generations, by virtue of the previous one dying out. and yet misogyny still prevails in the workforce and in everyday life, workers remain exploited, police continue to be employed against any social unrest, and the prison industrial complex has only expanded. have we really improved?

[ironunderstands]

I’m back, I just recently finished the 2.3 storyline and let me tell you, I fell in love with Jade’s character. She may not have been in the spotlight but she definitely is a highlight.

A like how self aware she is with saying that both her and oti are greedy merchants who want to be in control of the deal. She also seems to atleast have some fondness for Topaz and Aventurine calling them by either their real name (Jelena) or child, she seems to act as a big sister towards the two, which is reasonable enough since she is a senior and those two are probably one of the new members of the stonehearts. But lets be real Jade is like a double edge sword, she is sweet to those two but she is also patronizing in a way, seeing them as little kids and intentionally belittling them to some degree.

I like how while Topaz is totally a Jade fangirl she is aware that Jade is dangerous and should be handled carefully warning her team not to mess around with and warns Trailblazer about a certain stoneheart (probably Jade’s) and how she can see their deepest desires and to be careful. I did like that Jade saw Topaz actions in Jarilo as strategic with currying favor from the Astral Express which was totally not the case, its Topaz empathy towards Bronya, it shows that Jade sees everything as a give and take situation and has a “jaded” mindset. I do wonder what Jade wanted to help Topaz in going back to her previous position.

Now for the bonjade exchange, at first I thought it would be like a scam where Jade would trick her customers into signing contracts that would only benefit her but it seems it a bit more complex than that. She seems to take the phrase “equivalent exchange” to the extreme with her giving the customers what they want if they’re willing to pay the price. Since if you look at the example, sure Jade benefited from the wealth of the pepeshi but what about the other two? She doesn’t benefit from destroying the gambler’s relationship but she does the deal anyway and gives the gambler goodluck anyway, she doesn’t benefit from the intelleron’s memories so why did she make the deal? Simple she said it herself she wants to see the greed in people, their longing for something more despite the fact that they already got what they wanted. She’s built on the philosophy that people aren’t content with their lives and will seek for more, sure she grants your wish but then what? You want more which brings you back to her. You can’t say she’s completely evil, you know what you’re getting yourself into, she makes it clear that you are pawing something of value.

One more thing to add is how she says that the stellaron hunters ans the ipc are similar which makes me wonder, are the ten stonehearts closed to each other or are they simply using one another? Because from what I see Aventurine and Topaz while initially disliking each other, do care for the other and Jade seems to somewhat care for them and is willing to go with their plan, it seems these three are the “ip3” with Ratio being aventurine boyfriend who tags along for the ride.

I actually really appreciate your perspective on Jade, sorry for taking a while to respond to this.

What I like about her is that despite how manipulative she can be, she doesn’t really hide the darker aspects of her, nor the lighter ones either. The true danger lies in whether the parts of herself she’s showing you are real or not, the sweet philanthropist, the knowledgeable senior (in the sense of position) or the cruel businesswoman?

Jade is all of these, and how she uses people to her advantage is by making it unclear which side of herself she’s presenting to who and when.

Topaz knows how bad of a person Jade can be, but what allows Jade to have Topaz’s trust in her is by making Topaz feel as if she is an exception, as if Jade will never show her crueler side to her.

And that’s what makes their relationship so interesting to me, as Topaz truly could be Jade’s exception, or she could simply be just another investment, one which Jade is at the very least appearing to be fond of.

Only time will tell and personally I can’t wait for it to play out.

As for what constitutes as the IP3, it will always be Topaz, Aventurine and Ratio for me, as they were there first and their gameplay synergies much better with one another (also I am an Aventiopaz lover through and through)

Ultimately it’s up to a matter of taste, but personally I can’t wait to see more of Jade.

[spicybylerpolls]

All of the teenage relationships are sexualised from the get-go. Stancy's introduction was all about the trope where bad boy Steve just wants to try getting good girl Nancy into bed. Jancy is also immediately sexualised when Jonathan takes the spicy photos of Nancy. And Steve and Robin make booby jokes before Vickie is even introduced. Meanwhile for Stobin, we only really got Steve thinking that he and Robin would be a cute couple but no sexual innuendos whatsoever, hinting that the relationship will not happen because there is no sexual attraction there.

It is initially a bit different for Mileven/Lumax/Byler because they are actually kids at the start of the show. But Season 3 makes such a big fuss about them not being kids anymore and it is coincidentally also the time some of the characters start to make innuendos themselves. Which also means that who they liked as kids is not necessarily who they are eventually attracted to as teenagers.

In comparison to the other teenage relationships, Mileven seems to be a relationship free of any sexual implications. In Season 3 Hopper wants the door certainly not open because he is afraid of them kissing - however, Mike and El never overtly express a desire for sex, neither with each other nor for other people. Milevens like to say "Oh, this means that Mike and El only have eyes for each other" although the sexual implications are completely absent from their relationship.

Of course you could argue that the characters may be demi/ace, but I think especially in Mike's case it is made clear that he is not acespec but a repressed queer (with the Season 4 Episode 1 montage as biggest proof). Some people also insisted (and still insist) that Will is ace too because they are subconsciously so afraid to see any sort of queer attraction on screen. (As a person on the acespec myself, I really long for the day where asexuality is finally done justice on screen. But Stranger Things is clearly a show where they actively contrast lack of sexual attraction and actual sexual attraction with each other. Unfortunately, 99% of media does not include intentionally-accurate representation of asexuality, so right now Stranger Things is not under the obligation to be the show that is suddenly an exception)

This is all so true! People try to argue that Mike and El "making out all the time" is evidence that they have interest in sexual exploration, but A) the show very clearly draws our attention to the fact that he takes his hands off her when they're making out, B) Mike doesn't express sexual interest in the Phoebe Cates, the hot girl of the day, like his friends, C) the show draws our attention to how unnatural it is by having Hopper comment on it, and D) this doesn't progress or increase in any way. In fact, it decreases. In S4, they have one fairly awkward kiss and never show any signs of desire for each other. Instead, the emphasis is on Mike not being able to say ILY to her.

For a ship that's allegedly the main ship, this is all pretty unusual. When was the last time you saw a ship with teenage characters who "only have eyes for each other" yet never show even the slightest sign that they want to explore the physical side of things, even if only 2nd base? It's like Mike got to 1st base and immediately wanted to abort mission and backtrack and never do anything straight again.

Some Milkvans will say it's because Mike is a gentleman, but... come on. Lucas is a gentleman with Max, and the show goes out of its way to emphasize his sexual desire multiple times. Dustin and his girlfriend aren't even in the same state, and she's a devout Mormon, and still there's no doubt that Dustin would round all the bases multiple times in a heartbeat if he got the chance.

Meanwhile, everything between Mike and El looks like a weird, unnatural performance. And they don't even kiss in the desert!

Especially considering the fact that Mike and Will, who are allegedly just platonic friends, do show signs of physical desire. This is what they're like JUST touching arms ever so slightly. Get a room.

[v1leblood]

I’m looking for someone who can crack Amy Dallon open for me, and lakesbian thought you might have ideas! Everything about her is so interesting: being a body manipulator who brands herself as a healer, being a kid with the weight of the world on her shoulders, being raised by a woman who resents her, falling in love with her sister because she’s never felt like she belonged to the family. But when I think about the mindrape and the fleshpuddle, I bounce right off. They’re so over-the-top evil actions that I can’t conceive of a theory of mind for a her. So…thoughts about Amy?

to start with thoughts: i like amy. i like her a lot even! probably top 5 characters in worm to me. i think she's probably one of the most homophobic characters ever written and i also think she's incredibly tragic and compelling

to begin with, the first bit of mind control was, for all intents and purposes, an accident. victoria hugs her, amy's overwhelmed, and in the heat of the moment essentially literalizes her desires by making victoria like her. she's instantly remorseful and offers to fix it, but victoria's horrified and runs away. there's a lot of discourse surrounding the degree to which it was or wasn't accidental, but to me, the fact that she Immediately regrets it and that the text describes it as a semi-conscious reaction puts it pretty thoroughly in the camp of 'didn't mean to do this'. imo, if you were to Remove powers from the situation, it would be the equivalent of amy going in for a kiss -- she's overwhelmed and her guard's down from how emotionally bruised and battered she is and she does something rash, only powers make everything worse and more extreme and it turns into that whole clusterfuck instead. so, like, is amy accidentally or mostly accidentally making victoria like her back okay? obviously not, but i do think its an understandable Mistake to make

with the second bout of mindcontrol, its obviously dicier. not accidental, to start with, but while fucked up and wrong, there Is a rationale. amy wants victoria to be okay. victoria might die or be permanently disfigured because of her injuries by crawler. victoria won't let amy heal her because of how disgusted and angry she is at amy. obviously its better that victoria's healed, so amy decides to do what's best for victoria against victoria's wishes. (worth noting that taking it upon yourself to Do What's Best for someone else against their express desire is exactly what victoria did when she hugged amy despite amy's warnings) so amy mind controls her again, harder this time, and convinces herself that she's going to fix victoria's body And Then turn off the love effect. it's fucked up, unjustifiable, and wrong, but i think you can See how amy comes to make that decision, through a combination of a genuine humanitarian argument (victoria needs to be healed or she might be disfigured forever) and self-delusion (i'll not only be able to do this in the state the city's in, but i'll fix victoria's mind when i'm done)

and then there's the time when she turns victoria into a car. years down the line metatextual information and ward confirm it to be an instance of literal, rather than metaphorical, rape on amy's part, but i don't think that was the intention in worm and it's not my preferred interpretation (i think it's an insane idea that wildbow, who with his own words said he wouldn't depict rape in worm more explicitly than what the implications of heartbreaker's power portray, would write it as rape and then spend an insane amount of screen time focusing on amy and her story after that point while continuing to portray her broadly sympathetically). whatever the case though, it's an instance of amy going through with a gross violation of victoria's mental and bodily autonomy. the facts of the in-universe power mechanics remain the same whichever the interpretation -- amy, frazzled and traumatized, couldn't fix victoria anymore, her power not making the correct adjustments to her form.

amy convinced herself that she would spend some time with victoria while she licked her wounds and then remove the mind control and let her go, but she couldn't even fix her back into her old shape. it is an evil act. it's fucked up. but it's not... out of nowhere, you know? it's a culmination of amy's obsession and self-delusion and the lingering mental health crisis that's been hovering over her all book finally coming to a head, making her fall down a rabbit hole of self-justification that says that it's alright that she does this and that because it means she can fix victoria only to end up being wholly unable to fix her At All, and in fact only making victoria Worse

so like. i think amy does fucked up things to varying degrees of culpability and "forgivability", but there's definitely Reasons for why she did them, even if they're fucked up or not very good

by the time we get to ward there's no qualia whatsoever though lol she's just an evil devilspawn

[greenerteacups]

Would LOVE to hear more re: Lily Evans as the bolter of you want to share more about that idea

Ogh god I have So Many thoughts about Lily and the Marauders in general because I had to basically do a full outline of the Backstory in order to have context for the living Marauders' backstories, but here is my official Harry's Mom Was A Player dissertation:

I like the idea that Lily grows up with relatively few people around (we only see her with Petunia and Snape, which you could read as a function of Snape's perspective, but I prefer to read it as Lily and Snape being "those weirdos in the corner of the playground making Potion in the dirt" buddies). From that, she becomes pretty closed-off emotionally, and despite having general charisma and kindness, she's pretty hard to connect with. Nice, but a little brusque. She's glad to help you with your homework, but when you invite her to Hogsmeade, she'll smile and make a vague excuse, and you'll never hang out again.

This would also explain why she and Snape remain friends for five years, despite being in different houses and having a lot of political differences: he's one of the few people she's vulnerable with. So we're picturing this Lily who's beautiful, charismatic, clever, but also very closed-off and hard to find. I.e. 100% the kind of person who attracts a lot of admirers, but doesn't actually get close to any of them.

My headcanon for her is a long series of two-month relationships running from around fifth year through sixth, none of them very intense, and petering out around the time that the other person starts asking for labels or commitment. Because (a) she's Busy, but (b) she's not really comfortable with any of them. And so she gets a bit of a (slightly mistaken) reputation as an ice queen.

We know Lily and James started dating in seventh year, after he "stopped being an asshole." ACCORDING TO SIRIUS. This is his account of his best friend's love story. A lot of the read here turns on (1) how much you think James told Sirius about him and Lily, and (2) how much of that Sirius wants Harry to know, as someone trying to protect James's memory.

"He was a cad" is obvious big James energy, especially since we know (1) he's an unserious arrogant jock for most of his Hogwarts career, and (2) she would have absolutely no reason to take him seriously if he expressed interest in her, because — he's a dumb kid! And a bully, from her point of view.

Because they're not close, verging on antagonistic, I tend to think that his interest in her actually was superficial to start with — based on her looks or her reputation (or both). Which, of course, plays right into her issues with intimacy and not being really Seen by anyone. And the ritualized game of his pursuit only contributes to her disbelief in its sincerity.

So basically, by seventh year, you have these two incredibly desirable, successful, popular people who are both in fact really locked-up and struggle with sincerity, but have the beginning of real feelings for each other, and are freaking out about that.

And then you get a great Player4Player love story about intimacy and the mortifying ordeal of being known.

[rascallyrose92]

Why did the zodiac curse break?

One of the many mysteries of Fruits Basket is why did the curses break the way they did? Why was Kureno freed without any effort and Rin (who worked so hard for it to break) saved for the last moment? Well, thats kinda complicated.

Even before Kureno’s curse broke, he’s always been more closed off from the other members besides Akito. His animal form being a sparrow instead of a rooster exemplifies this. So his bond was weak to begin with. The straw that broke the curses back however, was when Akito wanted to see him fly. And so he did exactly as she asked, but not in the way either of them expected.

Next is Momiji. The zodiac member who’s probably the most comfortable with his animal spirit, the rabbit. This is shown by him wearing things just bc they’re cute (see: him wearing a girls uniform but with shorts). At least, thats how it looks on the outside. As we know, his curse is why he can’t have a loving family or even interact with them. And it separates him from his love, Tohru. No matter how many times he expresses his affection for her, she still sees him as a little kid. This is shown by him eagerly hugging her every chance he gets even tho he knows he’ll turn into a rabbit. He’ll never be able to embrace her as himself. But then he gets his growth spurt. Momiji was tired of being the cute little rabbit, and now he finally gets to be a man. This is shown by him wearing a boys uniform and being more forward with Tohru. And this is what breaks it. Momiji puts someone else above the Zodiac, above God, and that combined with him rejecting his little rabbit personality and wanting to grow up, to move forward, breaks his curse.

Now, if putting someone above Akito was all it took to break the curse, then why didn’t the others break when they fell in love with someone? Simple, they still put Akito first. Whether it was hiding their relationship to keep Akito happy, asking her permission for their marriage, or just letting her know that they loved someone, they considered Akito’s feelings before their beloved. Momiji is one of the few to directly stand up to Akito to defend the one he loved, taking a punch from her and going to get help when Tohru was by herself. The others stood by (unwillingly) bc they feared Akito’s wrath and the repercussions it may have on Tohru and themselves. His curse didn’t break right then tho because deep down, he felt guilty for wanting to put Tohru above Akito in importance. The God still had a hold on him. His growth spurt gave him the confidence to move forward without Akito and the zodiac, even if Tohru wouldn’t be by his side.

The last one we’ll talk about is Hiro. The zodiac member who doesn’t seem to match with his animal, the sheep, until you take a closer look. When we think of sheep, we think of an animal who’ll follow its leader without question. And Hiro doesn’t follow any external leader, in fact he refuses to take anybody seriously, complaining constantly and utilizing sarcasm in the most infuriating ways possible. But in reality, he follows one thing without question: his ego. No matter whats going on he will find a way to belittle someone in an attempt to make himself superior, unless you’re Kisa or his parents. Later on he realizes how childish this is, and tries to stop, and his attitude gets sorta better. But then, his little sister was born. This fast tracks his character growth, as now he has someone who will look to him for guidance, and he found within himself the desire to be an older brother, to protect her. Once again, putting someone else over the Zodiac and Akito combined with wanting to move forward and grow broke the curse. This couldn’t have happened with Kisa, since she’s a member of the Zodiac, and since the curse allows them to hug each other regardless of gender, we can infer that the curse has no issue with romantic relationships happening within the Zodiac. Akito was the one who had issues with it (for obvious reasons).

Finally, everyone else’s curses broke bc Akito gave them the freedom to move forward and grow:)

So, what we have learned is that the method in which to break the zodiac curse, is either the God giving the animals freedom, or the animals putting somebody else over their God and moving forward in life without them. Thank you for reading my rambling, and have a nice day/night<3

[casuallyanidiot]

Cowboy Bebop Rant Ig

Side tangent completely unrelated to the rest of my normal stuff, but oh my god I just watched cowboy bebop and the ending like actually pissed me off so much. Like I think that there was so much wasted potential in the ending that could have been saved if like, they didn't write off the comic relief characters in the episode before the finale.

So, Spoiler warning for the end of cowboy bebop I guess.

Like, I completely understand that the writers of the show probably wanted to shift the tone to something far more serious for the ending, but I think that by writing out Edward and Ein, you kind of take away a lot of the heart of the show. Like Fae, Jet, Spike, Ed, and Ein all kind of make up a found family of sorts. They're all kind of strange and it's not perfect, but they return to each other and rely on each other a lot of the time.

Fae is always searching for a place where she belongs because she doesn't know who she's supposed to be. She's lost all of her memories and has to become a completely new person all on her own with no past. I think that because she is a person without a past to fixate on, her and Spike are often foils of each other. They're both brash, egotistical, and highly focused on trying to make sense of what happened to them in the past. While Spike is running from the past, Fae tries to find it in order to make sense of who she is. She also disappears frequently from the crew without telling them where she's going, but she usually returns or tries to find out where the rest of the Bebop members are. Like in the episode where they're finding the memory tape, she seems genuinely hurt and surprised when they left without her, and I believe that it's because on some level she's kind of identified them as her people. They accept her even with all her flaws and despite the fact that she often even steals from them. Albeit Jet and Spike often butt heads with her, they do try to find her and worry about Fae when she's in genuine trouble (like when she gets hypnotized in the weird TV cult episode). I think Fae's character arc is supposed to be finding where she belongs and not running away anymore. She even explicitly says to Edward that "the best place you can be is one where you belong", and I think that having her return to the Bebop in the finale was a good move because its like, yeah, that's where she's supposed to be. I think the tragedy in the finale with her is that she realizes where she belongs, and then Spike just kinda ruins it all with his stubbornness.

But also, I feel as if Fae shouldn't have had the episode where she realizes there's no where else to go be divided with Edward's departure.

Edward doesn't have a character arc because they're a kid without a real past, and they're fine with that. For the whole series, Edward is primarily concerned with living in the moment and moving on to the next fun thing. I think that when they introduced their father, it provided an interesting opportunity to have Edward display some more serious thought about where they want to end up. But Edward doesn't seem like, very interested in being with their dad? They kind of just have one interaction, and it's implied (?) that Ed and Ein go off to find their father? But I think that it's particularly lazy writing because Fae plants this idea of belonging into Edward's mind, and it's stated throughout the episode that Edward just kind of wanders like most of the other people in the cast. I think the difference with Edward in comparison to most of the cast is that they have never really expressed discontent with wandering up until this point. In fact, they literally hack into the Bebop so that they can go explore the galaxy. Edward's character doesn't change by the end of the episode. They don't really express any desire to stay when their father presents them the option, and it feels like a very spur of the moment decision on Ed's part. This normally wouldn't be out of character for Edward, but that's the thing. There's no change to Edward whether they stay on Earth or are exploring with the rest of the crew. I feel like they just wanted to get rid of Edward and Ein before the finale because they weren't sure how to fit more one dimensional silly characters in the serious, tragic ending.

But I honestly think it would've been more interesting if they had stayed because it would present Spike with a more difficult choice. I think Spike was upset by Edward and Ein suddenly leaving based on the way he stared out at their goodbye message since he usually tends to shut down emotionally. So if they were still part of the crew, it raises a more interesting dilemma. Do you stay with your found family where people care about you, or do you go and try to face your past?

I feel like having Spike choose to go and die after Julia is killed with EVERYONE in the crew, not just Fae and Jet, warning him not to or giving him a reason not to, I think serves as a better lesson and ties into the themes better. I feel like with that with their little family having already fallen apart, the reasons that Spike has to not throw his life away are already a bit lessened narrative wise.

Idk, I just think that by getting rid of characters your protagonist is shown to get along with and care about before you show him making the foolish decision to forsake everything good in his life for a shot at revenge and settling old wounds, you kind of water down the tragedy of his decision.

Idk if this makes sense I'm just having a lot of thoughts.

[braceletofteeth]

5, 12, 17, 19!

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

5. Favorite Female Character

Mam from Never Let Me Go (I tried talking about it once before...). Actually, it'd probably be a tie between her and Tanya (from the same series).

But while I admire Tanya because she's this strong, respectable woman, with a truly unconditional love for her child, I still feel like Mam's “flaws” are more compelling to me.

Because- well. I've been the person who judges her, I've been her, and I've been her child. I've been through all of it. And I know how people look at and what they think about women like her—so I know how easy it would have been for the ones who directed the narrative to let its audience throw stones and condemn her character without giving her a chance to speak.

Her point of view doesn't make what she did right (or wrong, for that matter), but I appreciate that there was a space within conversations for her to voice some of her feelings. Her dilemmas, her regrets, her desires.

Many times in fiction, when it's a story focused on kids or teenagers, parents are portrayed as just that—someone's parent. A mom is just a mom, and her story ends where her child's begin. I liked that Mam was a woman, and a mother, who was neither there to be antagonized nor sanctified. I liked that she made a selfish decision, put herself first, and lived the life that she wanted, as fulfilling as it could be. I liked that she knew she couldn't have everything, but still gave herself the choice of what she would rather have, despite what was expected of her. I liked that she was honest with herself, and with the ones that she loved.

12. Most Rewatched BL

After discovering it, I watched Utsukushii Kare five times between May and December last year. Would have watched it even more this year, if it wasn't for the fact I'm only now having time to rest properly. I'm planning to do the next rewatch this month, preferably this week.

The reason why I've rewatched UK many more times than any other BL is that, well, for one, it's not lengthy. You can watch both seasons + the movie and that would be little more than an afternoon/night/morning. Plus you know you're gonna enjoy every second of that time.

It's hard for me to put into concise words why I like this drama so bad, because- Man, I like everything. I like the dynamic between the characters, I like them (and to study them) individually, I like the acting, I like the chemistry between the actors, I like the BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INCOMPARABLE original soundtrack made especially for it, I like the scenarios and the vibes, I like the colors and the lighting and the angles, the moving shots, the still shots, the tension and the timing. I like the humor, I like the drama, and I like the romance. I like the way they express themselves, the acts and words they use; when, where and how they use it. I like how so many little things are meaningful throughout the story. I like how they found the exact kind of love and support they needed in their lives. I like how protective they are over each other; how jealous, mesmerized and touched they can get. I like the co-dependency and the tangible yearning. I like how it's both so intense it's kinda crazy but also so tender it makes me wanna cry.

There's nothing ever made in this world that I'd rather watch more.

17. Best Kiss

(doesn't specify what kind of kiss, but I thought it was already hard enough deciding among the mouth-to-mouth ones—so those were all I took into consideration for this.)

This may sound like a basic answer, but as long as I have eyes, and ears, and a heart... it's got to be PatPran's Rooftop Kiss in Bad Buddy.

I tried not to reach a final verdict too fast and even rewatched some of my personal favorites (KinnPorsche's separation kiss on EP6 of KinnPorsche; NuengPalm's own rooftop kiss on EP5 of Never Let Me Go; SandRay's angry-desperate kiss on EP9 of Only Friends; and others from these same three series), but in the end... There's still nothing that can compare.

It's hard to breathe watching the moments that lead to that kiss. While they kiss, you can hear Pran crying. He kissed that man like that was the only kiss he'd ever get for the rest of his life. He kissed like he had waited for a thousand years, and a thousand more wouldn't be enough to recover after.

Good luck beating that.

19. Favorite Female Actor(s)

(sorry, couldn't decide on just one!)

I was recently captivated by Nina Nutthacha performance in Love Sea. I love how expressive she is, and how you can easily identify and sympathize with the emotions she's portraying. She did impressively well in both the humorous and emotionally poignant scenes. I'm looking forward to more of her works in the future! 💕

Another actress that I like is Samantha Melanie.

Ever since her character in Until We Meet Again won over my heart, seeing her show up in other series always makes me happy, no matter how brief her appearence is. She's the kind that brightens up a room just by being there (and. also she's so pretty 😳).

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

When it comes to infamous animated films, few are treated with quite as much revulsion as Mars Needs Moms. Based off of Bloom County creator Berkley Breathed’s storybook, brought to life by ImageMovers Digital (who created The Polar Express, that...beloved?… Christmas classic), distributed by Disney, and produced by Robert Zemeckis, the film really had the deck stacked in its favor… and yet, it quite infamously fumbled.

It released to become the 12th worst opening for any film in three thousand or more theaters, netting only $6 million on debut, and then proceeded to only gross $39 million dollars worldwide—and that’s including 3D theaters. With a budget of over $150 million, this cause a net loss of over $110 million dollars, which unsurprisingly led Disney to cut their losses and shut down ImageMovers Digital… which is what I would really rather say, but the depressing fact is that Disney nuked the studio before the movie even came out, as if they knew they had a massive bomb on their hand and wanted to punish the studio ahead of time.

As divisive as the studio’s animation was, it’s never really fun seeing an animation studio get scrapped like that. With its death, we lost some interesting film concepts, such as a remake of Yellow Submarine (which would have probably been even trippier with the motion capture animation), Roger Rabbit sequel, and a kaiju throwback film by Michael “Trick ‘r Treat” Dougherty called Calling All Robots. Say what you will about the studio’s output, but it’s genuinely a damn shame these ideas never came to fruition.

Over the years, just about every animation critic worth their salt has given this movie shit, from Mr Enter to the Nostalgia Critic, and Disney has largely seen fit to sweep this under the rug and pretend it never happened. But I can’t do that, can I? Y’all voted for me to watch this for the first time over a decade after it came out, and see if it’s really that bad. Did this movie manage to prove far better than its infamous reputation, or am I gonna have to put myself in a Martian memory extractor?

THE GOOD

Milo is actually pretty believable as a kid. I know some people find this character really annoying, or bratty, or obnoxious, but… that’s just how kids are. He’s a little bit of a shit and doesn’t understand the gravity of things he says sometimes, but he has a good heart and when it gets down to it he does all he can to save his mom. Like he’s just a child in need of harsh life lessons, typical of any fantastical family film. In a movie brimming with awful characters, he’s easily the least worst. Joan Cusack as the mom is pretty good, getting some funny line deliveries, and I’m sure she’s made someone’s list of “Hottest Animated MILFs.”

I think the core ideas behind the Martian society are really fascinating. Here we have a fascist, sexist dystopia. Every quarter of a century children are hatched, and females are passed off to nanny-robots to be raised while males are tossed down the garbage chutes to become feral, hairy wild men. The nanny-bots are programmed with the memories of abducted human women, memories which are forcibly extracted in a very fatal process. The women are then made to serve as the enforcers of the fascist regime, ruled over by an aging ruler who governs with an iron fist and doesn’t accept deviance from her desires, desires stemming from a deranged belief she is bettering society with her straw feminist viewpoints. On paper, it’s all very deep, dark, and intriguing.

The operating phrase, of course, being “on paper.”

THE BAD

Let me just get this out of the way: The animation is awkward, uncanny, and unpleasant. This is not a new or interesting observation, so I just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible, though it does feed into a few other issues, particularly the design of Ki.

Ki is just absolutely aggressively female in her design. Like, she’s pink, she has those curvy hips, she’s just really in your face about being a girl Martian. And yeah, the girls are the ones we see a lot of because of how the society is structured, but she’s so glaringly feminine it’s kind of obnoxious. Like she’s clearly given this overly polished design because she’s the beautiful, heroic lead character; other Martians do not look nearly as pleasant as she does. That’s not even getting into the obnoxious decision to have her speak in outdated hippie slang, a decision that’s about as pleasant as jamming splinters under your fingernails.

She’s not even the most annoying character, though. That would be Gribble, played by Dan Fogler, the fat dude from Fantastic Beasts. You’d think that because he was the best part of those flaccid spinoffs he’d be the best part of this movie, but you’d be absolutely wrong. He’s every annoying comic relief trope smashed into one incredibly obnoxious character, and considering almost no one else in this movie is likable at all he really sticks out as being unpleasantly annoying. It doesn’t help that the single moment they try and give him depth—when he recounts to Milo the harrowing experience of watching his mother die as her memories were extracted, so close to saving her and yet so far—is immediately followed by Ki showing up and Fortnite dancing and spitting out some more of her obnoxious slang.

And that right there really highlights what’s wrong with this movie: It is tonally inconsistent to an absurd degree. With a title like “Mars Needs Moms” and the general atmosphere of the opening as well as the marketing really lead you to believe this will be a simple, silly family comedy where a kid learns to appreciate his parents a la Jimmy Neutron. But then we get into the Martian dystopia, the explicit mass murder of moms, the grim visuals, the constant peril, and it’s pretty obvious the film wants to be serious and say something as well… all while keeping the funny wisecracking fat guy mentor, the Fortnite dancing monkey Martian men, and the pink and perky alien hippie graffiti artist who loves to talk like she just stepped out of Woodstock. It’s not impossible to handle two wildly different tones in a film, but to say this movie bungles it is an understatement; it ultimately causes the film to lack any sort of identity and just dissolves into an ugly mess of interesting ideas and confused writing that is impossible to take seriously.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

The short answer? Yes, this movie is really, truly awful. But a short answer is pretty unsatisfying, isn’t it?

I was honestly, genuinely hoping going into this that the critics were wrong and maybe there was something to like here… and yeah, there were a couple of things I thought were done pretty decently, but overall the movie is just an incredibly sloppy and tonally inconsistent mess that never really settles into what it wants to be. It actually had me thinking about another movie while watching it, and that movie is The Guyver. While I’m saving a full review of that for when I bring back Michael After Midnight, the film had the same sort of wild tonal whiplash that Mars Needs Moms does, a sort of dissonance in the story where it can’t decide if it wants to be dark and edgy or lighthearted and goofy. But while I don’t think either film is particularly good, I think the fact I find The Guyver to be infinitely more valuable as a film highlights the strength of live action cinema over animation. Jarring tonal inconsistency is just so much easier to swallow when you don’t have to look at some of the ugliest animation you’ve ever seen, y’know?

Mars Needs Moms is honestly quite a bit worse than that score would suggest. This is definitely one of the worst animated movies ever made, unlike what happened with The Emoji Movie, I don’t think the overwhelming revulsion towards the film is over-exaggerated by much. Like, yes, this isn’t the worst movie in human history, nor even the worst animated movie, but the fact that it’s not only bad but bad enough to ruin an entire studio makes it kind of legendary in terms of badness. At least Sony Animation was able to put out the two best Spider-Man movies ever made after The Emoji Movie flopped; ImageMover Digital got no such second chance, and not only went under but dragged the entire motion capture animation style down with it. I think it tarnishing an entire style alongside everything else (and thus probably being partially responsible for the lack of a Tintin sequel) really seals the deal on this being a piece of shit.

I’d honestly drop this film into the low 2s at best. It’s a bottom 100 contender for sure, and it’s far worse than some of the movies on there. Gigli? This movie is way worse than that. Cats? That movie is way campier and has far funnier use of uncanny valley animation. The Room and Trolls 2? Those are both way too funny to be worse than Mars Needs Moms. Fucking Batman & Robin? That’s an actual solid movie, how is it rated lower than this? Hell, I’d even say The Emoji Movie is better, because at least it doesn’t hurt to look at.

The thing is, while I think it’s objectively awful, I can’t say I can personally muster up too much hate for it. It’s so confused tonally that it’s almost fascinating to watch. If you’re a bad movie connoisseur like I am or just generally fascinated by bombs of this magnitude, it’s worth a watch. But outside of that, this movie is just too messy to really find even a cult audience. So if you don’t fall into that weird niche of people who watch bad movies for some reason, don’t bother. You’re not really missing anything valuable.

[woodchipp]

I guess this post's going to be a "sequel" to my post about Sunny and Mari because I have Thoughts about the game's potential again, this time concerning Sunny's other friends because god damn they're so underdeveloped and irrelevant 😭

Aubrey holds the "privilege" of being the game's only main character to have something vaguely resembling a character arc, and yet the execution of said character arc still leaves much to be desired. She has some makings of being a nice foil to Sunny (Sunny dealt with his issues by folding into himself in denial while Aubrey dealt with them by taking out her rage on Basil, Sunny's appearance is as bland and average as it can get while Aubrey's appearance is rather garish and visually striking) and I believe that kind of angle would've been really fascinating to work with. I'd have also preferred Aubrey being upfront about being a jerk - her incessant "noooo i'm not a meanie YOU are meanies >:(" deflections don't make her a Deeper character, they just become annoying after a while.

Maybe the game could've featured a flashback (an actual flashback, because Headspace isn't the most reliable source of information) where Aubrey defends Sunny or Basil from jerks harassing them at school and openly expresses her distaste for assholes who think it's okay to pick on someone who can't fight back... only to become that exact sort of asshole down the road. If Basil is the one she stands up for, this could even be their first meeting for additional irony!

Aubrey's rough home life is another aspect of her character the game should've elaborated on, especially given that its only purpose in the story is to be shorthand for "she's just a poor bbygirl please feel bad for her". What if Aubrey was closer to her father than she was to her mother? What if her dad left her mom precisely because the latter developed alcoholism and eventually became difficult to live with? What if Aubrey herself started using booze (albeit not to the extent her mother does) to cope with Mari's death, hating herself because she knows she's becoming exactly like her mother and turning into a person her beloved father would probably look down on? Honestly, the kids' parental issues would've been way more interesting to learn about than listening to them go "waaaa I miss my wife Tails Mari :'c" for the 1403rd time in a row as if we didn't get the memo already

Last but not least, before I move onto Hero and Kel, I'd like to echo @beevean's opinion about the whole "Aubrey shoves Basil into the lake" plot point - Aubrey absolutely should've been the one to save Basil after realizing what she's done. That'd have been a brilliant way to show that she still genuinely cares about her friends despite her violent exterior. This could've also tied into the reason she isolates herself on the final day - even though she makes no bones about being an asshole, the lake incident rattles her and finally makes her recognize that she crossed a line she never thought she'd be able to cross. She and her friends lost Mari already, and they would've lost Basil too, this time by her hands. The guilt overwhelms her, and she decides to shut herself off from the outside world since she thinks that she's a danger to her friends... sounds rather familiar, doesn't it? :)

IMO, Hero arguing that Aubrey still cares about her friends because she quickly dove into the lake to rescue Basil to break her out of her funk before the group hug would've made for a more solid point than "you care because you restored the photo album!", which completely ignores the fact that she stole it from Basil and bullied him for four years over it.

Speaking of Hero, the first thing I'd like to change is the reason for his nickname because the "he likes hero sandwiches lol" explanation is fucking stupid. It'd have definitely made more sense for it to be an in-joke for Sunny's friend group, since Hero's Just Naturally Good™ at everything he does. Maybe Kel or Aubrey could've created some sort of running gag by jokingly calling him "Hank", the decidedly less cool-sounding diminutive form of his real name, Henry.

I think that Hero apparently yelling "a lot of hurtful stuff" at Kel when the latter tried to help him stop being a recluse could've lent itself to some interesting characterization had the game bothered to explore it. What if Hero used Kel's biggest insecurities against him in his rant? He'd be the one to know his younger brother best, after all :)

Maybe the incident could have been used to establish a contrast of sorts between the brothers, with Kel having blocked out everything Hero said about him for the sake of his own mental health and Hero having the memory burned into his mind because he still feels very guilty about the outburst even four years after the fact. What if Hero spent said four years believing that Kel secretly hates him for what happened and being afraid of talking to him about it? Perhaps that would've explained Kel's remark about Hero being "a little more closed off now than he used to be."

Hero himself could've been an interesting character, mainly because his relationship with Mari isn't really touched on by the game, which is baffling since he was her boyfriend. Maybe the story could've tried to indicate that he still has trouble moving on from her suicide by him trying to abruptly change the subject whenever Mari comes up in a conversation. The story could've also tried to show the ways Mari as a person shaped Hero into the person he is (e.g. Mari is mentioned to have had a mischievous side to her, so Hero could've probably had an affinity for mischief too?) I think that sort of thing would've been nice to see in all of the game's characters, actually - the point is that even though Mari is dead, she "lives" on in a way through her friends and her brother, through the habits they picked up from her. Of course, that would necessitate Mari to have a personality beyond "picnic blanket" lmao

Maybe the game could've had Hero (unconsciously) start doting on Sunny as if he was the latter's older brother because, as part of him blaming himself for his friend group's dissolution, he feels especially guilty for "forgetting" about Sunny in his grief. I like to think that this, coupled with Hero picking up Mari's behaviors, would actually hurt Sunny even more, probably since a) it'd fuel his fears about everyone caring about him only because he's the last reminder of Mari they have left and b) every time Sunny sees Hero trying to be affectionate, he's just reminded of his sister, and it hurts.

You know, maybe the game could've even implied that Sunny harbors a bit of resentment towards Kel for having an older sibling in the first place. Sunny himself is aware that it's completely irrational and beats himself up over it ("oh my god, how could I even think something like that? he's my friend!"), but it's still there.

Kel loves his older brother. Kel has an older sibling to love.

Sunny doesn't. Not anymore, at least.

He had a sister.

She's gone now.

[rozunderpressure]

Seeing the mention of it, the ML subreddit is. Horrible. Like the people on Reddit will scream about how Adrien was mistreated 24/7 then suddenly go "Ugh, this again?!" when Chloé is brought up and downvote you to hell for saying you like her?? The subreddit is VERY canon loving but when you try to bring up how good/competent Chloé actually was IN canon, they call you delusional and tell you to get over it?? Ok get over Adrien not being in the finale, Alya believing Lila etc then. I'm not salting on Adrien or Alya btw but like. Why is one dead horse okay to beat but the other gets you attacked lol. Also it's full of people who think Felix is the greatest fiction character ever and that people who hate him are just stupid?

Its kinda funny to how the legit personality reasons to dislike both Chloé and Félix are the same... They are both arrogant, assholish, rich kids who, tho for different reasons, in their core, basically believe they are better than everybody, but Chloé used to be a hero and is usually being manipulated through her emotions and has expressed regret a few times, while Félix did a genocide among other horrible shit and literally never expressed any remorse, but his gf say he is nice now and we like her right? So yeah, lets just believe that...

Like, here is the interesting thing about contrasting those two: It clearly shows the writers only think of physical abuse as abuse, the fact Chloé was emotionally neglected is not abuse in their eyes, and also denotes a certain deep form of misogyny that shows in BOTH the fandom and writers (because its one that is an undercurrent in our society to be fair); Chloé is very feminine in the most demonized way by nerds (kinda dumb, trendy, a rich bitch and snobbish) and Félix is very masculine in the most desirable way for nerds (quick thinking, skillful, intelligent in way that makes him smarter than everybody else around him without much caring about the feelings of others, east Asian gfOKJK on that one), so that is that...

I don't hate Felix... I don't care for his character, he does nothing for me personally, I find the kind of character he is incredibly bland and boring, (and I don't hate the MLB Reddit community either-- mostly I don't KNOW the MLB reddit community--) but I don't hate him because I blame the writers for everything wrong with this show.

I have more to say about Alya and characters being plot devices and not characters (which is why she fell for Lila's bullshit, she wasn't being Alya at the time, no salt on her, its the writing that sucks) and how Adrien is treated like a trophy and frail creature who must be protectec from the truth itself and his treatment illustrates why just GENDERBENDING the shitty traditional story structure so the damsel in distress is now a guy without an IOTA of investigating WHY those stories suck IN THE FIRST PLACE doesn't work but-- I fear I already wrote too much, this is quite the long rant XD

So yeah, I don't know anything about the reddit community... XD

[silentspectres]

I would like to know about your disaster tiefling! Backstory, current romance, what drives them, anything youd be excited to share!

thank you for indulging me! I cannot express enough that I am like a vampire in that I have to be explicitly invited to do something, so I'm grateful

This is my disaster tiefling Mercury, they're a mephistopheles tiefling rogue (assassin specifically) and they're allergic to making wise decisions

I have a hard time grabbing good screenshots from my console sometimes so a few of these are Crunchy™ but I genuinely love the range of lighting the game has that makes them go from somewhat well-adjusted looking to mostly just glowing eyes. I'll put the rest about them under a read more!

Mercury usually sticks to decisions that will benefit themself or their friends above all else (and usually not through honest means), but they've been known to freely help children with no clear end gain. They had a great time around Mattis, the tiefling child, out-conning him. It's probably the closest to playful their group has come to seeing them be playful (save around Scratch/the Owlbear), since Mercury was using it as an opprotunity to teach the kid rogue techniques that would benefit him later from someone who's been at it for quite some time. It'd be cute if they weren't such an awful influence

Mercury's backstory is admittedly not something I've been able to work out past large overtones or some general character defining events, but they're a character that likes to keep their privacy and hold things that matter to them close, so I think it works out in the long run. They were fiery and loudly defiant against the world and its cruelty when they were younger, but as they grew older and realized that the only person they could rely on was themself, they grew more cunning, quiet, carefully composed, and discarded the intense emotions that once drove them. This change most likely came from being used + discarded by a disguised devil, and they have an extreme discomfort and distrust for devils or the Infernal as a result

I like to call Mercury a mirror - they're a reflection of the general harshness the city had on them (being a scrappy tiefling with nowhere to call home), but once they're surrounded by people who offer them kindness (Wyll/Karlach/Gale particularly being huge influences) they actually almost habitually return kindness + favors to the small group close to them. Their friends are one of the only noted exceptions, though; they still don't really do great in the empathy department otherwise

I could write several pages about Mercury's romance, BUT I'll try not to ramble too long (narrator voice: this was a lie). Mercury is romancing (spawn) Astarion + their dynamic drives me up the WALL. The two of them had a weird push and pull to their early relationship - Mercury was well familiar with the song and dance Astarion was performing when he targeted them and knew he certainly had ulterior motives, but they... truthfully, between the empty meaningless void that had become their existence and the inevitable certain death they would now be facing as a result of being tadpoled, and the fact that they could never remember a single moment in their life in which they were wanted (let alone desired by someone), they didn't care. So they let him use them and they played along as coyly as he did, fully aware that the more that they got involved with him or the others the higher the chance they might end up walking away caring. Which, unfortunately, happened.

A lot of factors contributed to changing Mercury's apathy toward the group and ultimately swayed the change to caring romantically about Astarion, almost none of which was even Astarion's doing himself. It started with Wyll, who was always kind and selfless without a second thought, who willingly chose to risk losing everything against Mizora because he'd rather stand by Karlach. And Karlach herself was easy to get along with - she cared deeply and loudly about those around her and wasted no time or consideration into treating Mercury with the same warmth as she did the others. Gale, maybe surprisingly, was the ultimate catalyst, though. He had formerly been a wizard Mercury kept at the same distance as everyone, one of the companions Mercury actually thought less often about despite traveling with him among the most, before they met Elminster along the roads to the Shadow Cursed lands. Mercury is hard to sway, but a goddess telling her most devoted follower that he only stands to make something meaningful of himself by killing himself ignited some long since extinguished anger in them - anger at the gods, anger at the world, anger at the shitty hands they and these people they're around were dealt - and Mercury drunk themself to sleep that night following the realization that fuck, this anger in place of apathy meant they cared. Astarion was next to show them a little vulnerability by letting them read his scars to him (and it drives me insane thinking about the level of trust he would've reasonably have had to have in them to turn his bare back to another rogue), revealing that he is only one part of an unknown whole, and that that unknown whole could very well be an Infernal pact. And so it goes - suddenly, Mercury was in over their head. Suddenly, they cared.

They both end up stumbling through figuring what a relationship (and even the full scope of what either of them truly want) means later, when they're both forced to face the fact whatever was between them is now real (and dangerous, Mercury reasons, because to admit they want to care and be alive means they have to invite back in all the hurt it could bring - hurt they're intimately familiar with - but they can't deny that what they have is nice.) Mercury is very much a deeply touch starved person, so they offer Astarion a lot of small, quiet moments of physical intimacy like leaning against him in camp, resting their hands on his, soft touches against his face to brush against his hair, stuff that, in general, he probably has no lasting memories of ever having. In turn, Astarion offers them a quiet sanctuary - a gentle reminder - that they have others they can lean on and rely on and that they don't have to bear their burdens alone. There's a lot of push and pull in this stage of their relationship, too, but it's less about a game they're performing and more about learning boundaries, limits, and the depths that they're both willing to admit to themselves about whatever it is they have.

By act 3, Mercury has no doubts about where Astarion stands to them, and truthfully I don't think Astarion does about Mercury either, but it's a bit harder for him to think about with certain looming disaster hanging over his head. Reasonably. He sort of lashes out the closer they get to dealing with the inevitable, not in the way he's harsh, but in the sort of defensive "I feel like a cornered animal so I'm reverting back to trying to pull the strings (new strings at that!) to use/manipulate you into doing what (I think) I want because I genuinely can't believe in a kinder future for myself" sort of way. Mercury by this point can see right through him and offers a constant, steady pressure by always pointing out "If you do this, you'll have to do a lot of difficult things, are you sure you're prepared to do that?" and by the point of the crypts, it's clear he'd be really fucked up by carrying through with it now that he's had to come face to face with both what he's done and what he stands to become by taking Cazador's power, especially after finding the scroll about the other vampire masters. So Mercury stands firm and becomes his reminder that things don't have to end in bloodshed, lashing out, and bared teeth - a lesson Mercury themself was taught by the kindness (a kindness they had always lacked) their companions (now friends) never gave up on. Their relationship is stronger for it and they're genuinely good influences on each other (somehow, Astarion has become some sembalance of the voice of reason and is a good 90% of the reason Mercury has stopped doing things with no regard to their own self preservation now) and they're both extremely well adjusted partners despite the so many issues both of them have. Who would've thought the local pair of murderers are an exceptionally sweet couple???

I have rambled for far too long and I have a thousand more things I could say about Mercury but I'll spare you because it is very early in the morning, but thank you for letting me speak a little about them!! I have a playlist and a pinterest for them if anyone is seriously further curious about them and my inbox is always open for more questions but I must sleep for now

[thewhumpcaretaker]

The Broken Veil: Chapter 7 - How to Shoot

TW: blood transfusion, needles, needle phobia, panic attack, fainting, discussions of dying

Disclaimer: I have no medical knowledge and described IVs and blood transfusions purely from Googling and memories from a patient's perspective. This may be highly inaccurate.

This is the last chapter that will be written. I had the fic planned out to the end and I might make a post about what would have followed. Thanks for coming along for the ride, everyone!

Summary: John Wick has just agreed to kill Gianna D'Antonio, repaying the marker that gave him a life with Helen. However, Helen is trying to contact John from the afterlife, to show him that it is possible to stop the cycle of violence – not by forfeiting his own life, but by creating a fundamental shift in international systems and perhaps even the balance of good and evil in this world. But he doesn’t have to do it alone. She’s coming back.

“Her present countenance had a wild vindictiveness in its white cheek, and a bloodless lip and scintillating eye; and she retained in her closed fingers a portion of the locks she had been grasping.” - Nelly Dean, speaking of Catherine Earnshaw, Wuthering Heights

The first thing Helen felt was the IV. There was almost no pain. So little, in fact, that she must have been on even more painkillers than the last time. But that swollen sensation (no matter how subtle) cut through even the painkillers, the feeling of something pouring into her veins, forcing her own blood to part and make way, the irrational fear that her body wouldn’t be able to hold it and would spontaneously burst. That fear had gotten worse with each hospital stay. She was always the brave kid when getting shots as a child, but not anymore. Well, at least she didn’t have to feel it going in this time.

The second thing she felt was John’s hand in hers.

There was someone speaking to him. “The initial loss of consciousness was likely due to anemia. To put it in simple terms, when the body fights this hard, it starts to run out of red blood cells. She’s on a basic drip now, but she needs blood. I can see that she’s had this issue before. So we can do a transfusion – “

“I want to be the donor. We’re compatible. I found out after last time.” She wanted to tell him how ridiculously sweet that was, but her jaw wouldn’t move. Maybe she wouldn’t mind the transfusion as much if the blood was his. Maybe it wouldn’t feel so sickly foreign.

“I saw that in the chart as well. So you donated in advance… and it looks like your sample was approved for use.”

“Good.”

The voice became a little softer. “But I need to be very honest about the situation. Can I talk to you outside?”

She could sense his reluctance even then, before they were bound together beyond the grave. It was in the way he lingered, then kissed her hand before slipping away.

So she was dying. Well, of course, she was already dying and knew that, and before the diagnosis, she knew she was dying eventually, as all human beings do. But somehow, it always snuck up on her. It was different for it to be happening eventually, than for it to be happening NOW.

What a good life she’d had. There were problems, sure. She grew up an orphan like John, yes, but an orphan with adoptive parents who brought her up in the suburbs with three cats and a white picket fence and at least pretended everything was perfect. It instilled in her a craving for the innocent, genuine warmth that their manicured McMansion pretended to hold. When that family fell apart too and she went no-contact, it still never affected her love for humanity or for life as a whole – if anything, it intensified the desire to reach out to others and break through their walls with a kind of overpowering acceptance. She had expressed it by meeting people, by going out into the world as a portrait photographer with a particular taste for damaged misfits and unloved vagabonds in seedy bars that contrasted so deliciously with her clean, good-girl image.

That image was truly more than skin deep. She wanted to be good, and she tried to be good, and she was good, she realized – she was able to lay on her deathbed and believe that she had lived her life in accordance with the kindness she wanted to show to others. Unlike John, she didn’t hate herself, maybe because she was so rarely capable of hating anybody…or maybe because she’d been to a lot of therapy, that could be it too…but either way, the introspection and extrospection she’d done over her 48 years of living had paid off. She fell in love with everything and everybody, even the most supposedly unworthy. And she found the perfect receptacle to match that outpouring, the most vulnerable man whose walls she had ever broken down, and dragged him out of the pit of hell to have pillow fights and share milkshakes on Valentine’s Day and watch the cartoons he’d never seen growing up because he didn’t have a childhood. She lived the dream.

But John deserved that too, and she wasn’t done giving it to him. She wanted him to feel this good about himself, she wanted him to die this fulfilled or never at all. She knew better than to assume that he would be alright. Marcus was conspiring with her to keep a foster puppy for John, and would give it to him after she was gone. That would keep him alive at least. But she wished she could be there for him herself.

And her body, her breakability, this was the thing tearing her away from him. Not his work, as they had always expected. No, just this petty, senseless vessel. Just chance, the callous irony of life, and that was somehow worse. The little knot in the flesh of her arm where she had to be physically tied to existence…that was the proof of it, the symbol of it. That hideous bump of plastic… She tried to squirm her wrist, beginning to panic. He was going to be without her. She was not ready, her affection not burned out, her work not done, and her anxiety spiked, and she slipped away into unconsciousness.

***

Fear is irrational. It doesn’t care that Helen can’t die anymore. It doesn’t care that being shot head-on several dozen times ought to be much scarier than sitting in a vaguely medical environment. It just lives in the body, even the undead body, and screams something incoherent about needles from deep in the amygdala.

They were loaded into a shopping cart under a tarp and wheeled blindly to somewhere that reeked of fishy water on the outside and of burning flesh on the inside, and when they ripped the tarp away, she panicked. It barely even looks like a hospital. It’s technically a morgue (much more cheerful). But there’s a row of hospital beds stretching down the hallway from the open glow of the incinerator, and that’s enough to send Helen over the edge. It’s a mercy when the abyss flickers blankly over that scene, blotting out her vision. But it comes and goes.

She can no longer tell whether she’s clinging to John for his sake or for her own. She hasn’t let go of him since they fell to the ground together and isn’t about to start now. John is in and out of consciousness in her arms as she sits on the edge of his bed, his head lolling against her shoulder where she pulled him on top of her, trying to crush out her shaking with the weight of his body and trying to crush out his shaking with the tightest embrace that won’t wring more blood from his abdomen. They took off his shirt and suitcoat and laid a blanket on top of them but they’re both still freezing despite being drenched in sweat.

“What the fuck do you mean we don’t have his blood type on hand? This is Wick. Get it here now. Do a raid if you have to.” The panhandler has stayed with them the entire time. Helen would guess that he’s in charge of their visit. Several equally scruffy men who act as their nurses seem to answer to him, based on the way they’re scrambling at his orders.

She hears herself speak and it sounds like someone else. “I’m his blood type.”

“Finally some good luck. We can do it directly.”

“Put out your arm.” One of the nurses is advancing towards her.

Shit. A wave of dizziness passes through her and she jerks back before she can stop herself.

“Do you need a lollipop, or do I need to tie you down?”

“Don’t mess with her, idiot. That’s his wife.”

“I’m fine, I can do it…” Her voice is so breathy and unnatural. She absolutely cannot do it.

But John moves listlessly, just enough to make his head nod sideways into the hollow of her neck. She feels him slip into awareness of a clammy, dark, blotched-over existence. He’s trying to groan in pain and wooziness but then he registers that her arms are wrapped securely around his shoulders and he relaxes back into numbness, consoled. He needs her. He’s trusting her to keep him safe. It makes her feral.

She could do anything he’s ever done for her. She could kill if she needed to.

This feels like killing.

Her arm is out. Hands on her, antiseptic. The seconds are so long as she awaits that familiar pinch.

Something strikes her and bounces off.

Again. The tip of the needle snaps.

Of course. Her skin can’t be broken.

“So it’s true…what is it? Is it some kind of high-tech skin sealant?” Someone slides a scalpel against her forearm, to no effect, but she’s mostly in the void and can’t see who.

“Hey! I said don’t mess with her!”

Helen doesn’t respond. She’s a human sized bag full of blood and none of it can get into John. Her body is immaculate, inviolable, impenetrable, forever safe…and useless to him. Her other half lies beside her, utterly broken, unconscious, white as a sheet, hair clumped to his cheeks, soaked in sweat and blood, but he still somehow has a capability that she lacks – and when he needs her most, no less. He has the very basic human ability to suffer and bleed and endure. This powerful, noble, compassionate man is in love with her, and she dragged herself all the way back from oblivion, performed a miracle, gained immortality, and walked at his side again just to be useless to him? To cling to his side while he bleeds out, trusting her to save him? No, absolutely not. That can’t be how this works.

“What if I do it? My own intention…”

“What? You gotta speak up.”

“Get another needle and show me how to shoot it. I’m going to try it myself.”

“Why would that matter? Is it magic or something?”

“Just let me try it.”

“…Okay, let’s try it.”

She can barely see the person who’s talking. It’s so hard to focus on anything he says. “This is the activation button, point it here…”

There are people dragging her out from under John to give her full range of motion. And then the little cylinder is in her hand and fear has her completely, rising up from somewhere deep and universal, somewhere in life when she believed death to be permanent and ruin to be possible. It evaporates all the blood from her head and fills her fingertips with stars. She’s either going to pass out or vomit, there’s no way, there’s no way… Hands are pinning her left arm down against the bed so it doesn’t move when she’s trying to hit it, but that will hardly do much good when her right arm is shaking just as much. Someone flicks at her to raise the vein. Something about relaxing her muscles but that’s completely out the question right now. Just do it. Just do it. She keeps rocking forward and backward.

There are two souls, in the corner of the room and nowhere. She only sees them for a moment. They’ve come up from somewhere far more settled than she’s ever been. A woman, with wild dark hair. A man with John’s piercing eyes.

His birth parents. Their gazes pleading with her.

She steels herself. I intend to save him. This is what needs to happen. Whoever and whatever may be, make way for this. Helen lets herself scream and shoots.

Stabbing pain. It feels wrong. She had no idea how much more wrong it could feel when done improperly. But it worked. It worked! There’s blood climbing up the tube. And blood bruising under her skin around the horribly botched entry point. There’s plastic inside her…

Helen faints.

***

The first thing John feels is Helen’s hand in his.

The second thing he feels is the IV. In two forearms. Her blood is mixing with his, and with it, her every sensation. …She did that for me? That must have terrified her beyond belief.

It isn’t so long since he tasted her life back at the hotel, but he realizes he already missed it. She has such a sunny way of looking at the world. To be inside her head is to feel the weight of his own self-hatred and deep-seated jadedness fall away. To feel an overpowering hunger for life.

Through half-lidded eyes, he sees their arms entwined, both covered in smears of red, all of it his. Both pierced by the tubing that joins them, an external vein bridging the gap between them. She holds him, inside and out. He’s trying to say thank you, but she knows. She knows, and it makes her so damn happy.

She’s so proud of what she just did. I’m so proud of you too. You’re so brave for me. She’s so proud of him, for surviving, for calling out to her to help him walk at the very end. I… he can’t say that just yet, can’t even think it. A twist of guilt that she felt the agony he just endured, that she has to be involved in this life at all. No, he’s not proud of himself. But she overwhelms the guilt in a wash of affection for him that makes her squirm closer against his side. Her phobic headiness is still there but its flavor is innocent, kitten-like, as she basks in the consolation of being with him. She’s floating, she’s in the clouds with her favorite person, she’s petting his hair.

He falls asleep to the beat of her pulse.

***

She’s in a chair at his side the next time he wakes up. The panhandler, who she now knows to be The Bowery King’s right hand man, is sitting by her side with a partially assembled handgun. “…And then you pull back, like this. When you hear the click, let go, and it snaps back in.”

John clears his throat. “Having fun?”

“John!” Helen looks up at him delighted. Then she turns back to her new friend. “Please give me a moment to speak to him alone.”

He frowns. “I’m not going far. It’s my job to keep you lovebirds out of trouble.” But he steps around the corner.

She gathers herself and meets John’s gaze. “I need to be very clear about something: I am never going to do that again.”

He’s surprised, but relieved. “Good. You shouldn’t have to see me at a time like that. In fact, if there’s some way we can shield you from what I’m feeling when I’m – “

“No, that’s not what I meant. I am never going to stand by and do nothing while you get shot in the gut. I want to know how to fight.”

That stops him short.

“And as for separating our souls, even temporarily, I couldn’t possibly have less interest in doing that. The more pain you’re in, the more I want to be there for you. Think about how you’d feel if you were sharing my suffering. Wouldn’t you want to maintain that connection?”

The thought touches him deeply. He’s still savoring how it felt when they were joined by the blood. “…Yes. If I can feel you as well, I want to. No matter what.”

“Well, you will in the hereafter. All in due time.” She kisses his forehead and it sends a wave of butterflies through him. “For now, I look after you. I want you to teach me how to understand a fight enough to stay out of your way when you’re attacking, how to shoot, how to throw a knife, how to fight hand-to-hand...all of it.”

“How to kill.” His expression darkens.

“How to save your life.”

“Yeah, that’s what I tell myself too when I’m doing it.”

“And whenever you’re acting of your own volition, whenever you’re free, it’s always true. Let me set you free, John. Show me what I need to know and we’ll start a revolution. We’ll set the whole world free.”

“…Alright. I’ll show you.”

[beevean]

Steven Universe was a, wonderful show. I have to admit it has been so long since I have watched an episode, I should re-watch it again. I am sure like many things it also has/had its flaws, but, right now I can't remember anymore. I have to say it is sad, how, it appears as if the shows has been, in a way forgotten. I mean, the fans still exist and it is still talked about, but I assume that is now more in the background / more quiet.

It, does make me sad that, in the present, when, you hear about Steven Universe, it is indeed, often people making fun of the show, instead of hearing about a team of passionate writers and artists, trying to break boundaries and having to face again and again pushback and defiance, either way trough censorship, their work getting leaked or people ridiculing the show. Steven Universe, will always have a special place in my heart, and I will remember fondly how this show expressed and voiced about topics, that even now, some people and shows rarely to never talk or avoid talking about

SU was flawed because everything is. Even not considering the network reasons (Steven Bombs affecting the format, the sudden and exhausting hiatuses that made people less forgiving about "filler" episodes, the rushed finale), it had its growing problems and its ups and downs.

But it's a heartfelt show. It was cozy, sweet, not afraid of tackling poignant topics but still keeping that warm optimism that everyone can become a better person... and I'm not talking about the antagonists, I'm talking about the heroes. Pretty much everyone was morally grey to some degree. Everyone was given the chance to understand the error of their ways and improve.

It's frustrating that I still see tweets like Steven singing "Change" to Jack Horner to make fun of his modus operandi (ignoring that Change was directed at Spinel, who is very much not a Jack Horner) (and side note, while I enjoyed PIB:TLW, Jack Horner felt so on-the-nose he almost stopped being funny. yeah i get it, he's a monster. so subversive.) from people who only know about the show through memes or 2 hour long inflamatory essays. Maybe, if you watched the show, you'd know that Steven did not "forgive" the Diamonds, he very much does not like them until the end, they are the ones who were confronted with the flaws in their reasoning and had the presence of mind to realize "no, this is not right, I'm hurting my loved ones, I'm living a lie". Idealistic? Yeah! But welcome to a kids' show that has been idealistic since day 1!

And this is not mentioning the fact that Sugar fought to have representation back when the most famous example was Korra and Asami holding hands. She fought for it not because she wanted to have token representation, she actually believed that children deserved to see all kinds of love. That is admirable.

SU is a good show made with passion and love and a genuine desire to give hope to the audience, and the tools to find happiness. Feel free to dislike it, but at least know what you're talking about.