#have fun guessing who's who! it should be fairly obvious

[palossssssand]

the splat ocs when they were itty bitty for funsies

[joyce-stick]

The Beef Stroganoff Song! (arbitrary subtitle discourse edition)

So, you may have noticed here that the subtitles in this clip (from Symphogear GX episode 3) are fairly different from what you're used to seeing when people post this video, and the phrasing in the subtitles is fairly different from what the associated memes often say

For those who don't know, Symphogear got itself released on blu-ray by Discotek, and with that came with a new translation authored by Noelle (@ulsairi on twitter ) who is notable for being the only trans lesbian anime translator I know of off the top of my head.

Her translation appears, in my opinion, really rather polished and very good, and I strongly appreciate the way it's written and how much character it adds to the dialogue by giving everyone distinct voices and adapting things into more natural English. It's also a fair bit gayer. I haven't encountered many people who've seen these subs, but I think most fans of the series would consider these a net positive change. There are some people who are mad about these subtitles, and they can die mad.

Anyway, let's talk about the different phrasing of the beef stroganoff song. I'm mostly going to compare to Crunchyroll's subtitles for reference since that seems to be what most others go off of. Here's a link to that version.

So right off the bat we can see here that while CR's translation appears to be a lot more, for lack of a better word, functional, Noelle's translation tries to apply more dialectal force "it's beef stroganoff/Yes! It's THAT beef stroganoff!" And generally communicate through the tone how excited the girls are to get started. Additionally you'll see throughout that the latter is a fair bit more lyrical, there's a lot more punctuation and verbal tics and filler phrases written into the dialogue to express that they are singing, which makes sense since Japanese tends to omit a lot of the sorts of prepositions that Noelle threw in here,

Like, Yumi (yes I went and looked up her name on the wiki) just says "beef stroganoffu" because it's obvious from context that it is beef stroganoff, she doesn't need to spell it out, at least, not in Japanese

(We know like maybe ten hiragana and 1 kanji do not trust us on Japanese this is all just basic shit we learned from online guides)

So this probably leads to a rushed translator from Crunchyroll (they are notoriously crunched for time) who's just trying to Get It Done probably not really bothering to throw in extra additional connecting letters to express the tone of the character, only doing so when it's required to make basic grammatical sense in the target language. So they likely didn't think to make the subtitles have flourishes like this that aren't explicitly in the original Japanese. Noelle meanwhile had the time to consider things like this and take such liberties in order to attempt to convey the same tone that was arguably implied by the Japanese, even if not explicitly put forth

And that's about all the things I should not repeat I guess, TL;DR, these subtitles are more fun to read because the translator had more time to think about the best way to make them more fun while still being accurate to the spirit of the original dialogue, who'd have thought!

(In case you're wondering, the Commie subtitles say kind of the same thing here, and y'know, it doesn't seem like a wrong translation, but also I really dislike this subtitle styling, orange on pink with that font and that drop shadow is just kinda bad. I appreciate the effort but like. Come on. Please fansubbers, please think about if the font and colors you chose actually work with the image you're putting them on)

Moving on!

horizontal and middle rhyme with each other so you can almost actually sing this, actually let me take a moment to try it right now- never mind, I can't sing. Hahaha. I don't actually think it lines up that well with the melody But I thought it did! Didn't I? That's significant, that this actually reads like plausible lyrics to a silly song someone made up instead of a literal translation of a Japanese song

Anyway, here comes the first major difference!

So in the Crunchyroll subtitles, Yumi says "it doesn't have to be beef" which in English (in my estimation) sounds a tad scatterbrained, like, "oh yeah sure beef but whatever really it doesn't actually matter," while Noelle's subtitles rather say "Got no beef? Don't you worry!" Which implies something different.

"It is recommended to use beef, but you may substitute something else if you are sorely lacking in beef" as opposed to "Oh the beef doesn't actually matter, zoinks lol!" CR's translation is kind of a bit funnier in how it sorta comes from nowhere without this qualification, which probably lead to this phrase's memeticness, but Noelle's translation seems more reasonable to me so yeah again, tada, yay for sensicalness.

Now here's another interesting change:

Again, the flat manner in which the CR subtitles say "finish with salt" with rendezvous only being included because that's literally what they said, is sort of absent any stronger emotional implication,

Noelle's translation meanwhile going with "don't forget them, they need it" imparts personhood upon the salt and pepper. The implication being that the girls are saying, "the salt and pepper are in love, please reunite them, they must be in gay love together." Or maybe you think the salt and pepper cannot be forgotten and must be reunited because they are Only Friends.

Whether you choose to believe that this is the salt and pepper getting married, or merely subtext, or an interpretation, or salt and pepper shipping bait, this is a deeply important tonal indicator because it reminds you that these girls are ultimately playing with their food!

"And there, now you're in for a treat!" I don't think I need to explain this one.

Now, here's an interesting one!

In the Crunchyroll subtitles, it just says the memetic "boys don't know this." With no context, no elaboration, no clarity, no qualifiers. Boys don't know. Did the boys magically get their brains wiped? Are the boys biologically incapable? Who knows. Nothing is said but that.

Noelle's subtitles, on the other hand, qualify this statement by saying "Boys aren't taught to cook, so they may not know" (And note again how, it says "kno-ow" to emphasize, once more, that they're singing, and also this lines up with the long "ooooo" sound they make at the end of this lyric, so cool)

There is now context! Boys aren't taught to cook! Anime and Japan's culture in general still pigeonholes people into gender roles! And an anime translator just wrote you a hidden translation note about it! You might be a boy, you might know how to cook, but certain boys in another part of the world aren't traditionally taught cooking, so they may not know

They may not, but they could!

Trust a trans person to express gender facts with subtle nuances like this in anime translations.

And with that lovely bit of good translation and good writing and good localization of a thing to make it make sense to people

Mew!

[oodlyenough]

apollo justice: ace attorney thoughts

over the weekend I finished playing AA4 so I wanted to try to put my thoughts in order. much to think about etc

spoilers for the whole game obv, but i haven't played AA5 or AA6 yet so any mention of those are speculation lol

I had heard some pretty mixed reactions to AA4 and I had a lot of reservations going in. It's also probably the AA game I've played that I've been the most spoiled for, which is a shame but probably an unavoidable consequence of waiting for the port while engaging with the fandom. I don't usually like being spoiled but I think knowing the broad strokes of what to expect actually helped here. I can imagine an AU where I blitzed through the first trilogy and onto 4 with no idea of what was coming and being... very upset and disappointed by the direction it took. Having several months to brace for things like Phoenix's disbarment, the 7 year gap, Trucy, etc definitely softened those blows and made me more amenable to them than I would've been otherwise.

Cases

For the most part I thought the puzzle solving was good and the pacing was solid. The puzzles were mostly challenging enough to be satisfying to solve but not so challenging as to be infuriating, and I don't think I needed a walkthrough at all. 4-1 is one of the best tutorial cases in the franchise so far (though I'd give the edge to 3-1) and 4-4 was a really cool finale. The middle two cases tbh I also found fairly charming, and there's usually a least one case in the middle that seems to drag forever, so that was a pleasant surprise. I played Investigations 1 right before this, and I thought both the puzzles and pacing in that game were frankly horrible, so AA4 won a lot of points just with that.

I did think Turnabout Corner and Serenade would be more relevant in the grand scheme of things. The half-spoilers I knew had me expecting a much bigger web of conspriacy than we ended up with -- I expected it to be more than coincidence that Phoenix got hit by a car, more than coincidence that the Borginian egg coccoons are related to poison etc ... like... I fully assumed this was going to tie into the atroquinine plot. But I guess not ... ? Lol

Characters

The new main cast are all very likable, despite my initial reluctance to have a new main cast to begin with. Klavier was an interesting change of pace as prosecutor, in that he wasn't particularly antagonistic outside of the court, nor was he particularly preoccupied with winning, but he was still fun and challenging enough to face off against. Trucy was fun and delightfully bonkers as all assistants should be. Apollo's longsuffering exasperation was hilarious. Ema is the BEST I loved having her as the detective I wish she was there all the time.

I loved Beanix, for the most part. I can see why he rubs some people the wrong way, and tbh I'm glad his last canon outing isn't ... this. But I didn't find him wildly out of character, or at least, when he was feeling "out of character" vs the trilogy it made sense given the intervening events. I also thought it was fun to see him from the outside and see what a galaxybrain 5d chess master he is. I do wish we'd gotten to see more genuine moments of him with Trucy.

Kristoph was fun as a villain, though I have to say fandom led me to believe he was much more of a mastermind puppeteer than he seemed to be in reality. I was expecting a whole decade worth of conspiracies! Instead he fucked up once and struggled to fix it for seven years, lol. I also found the Kristoph/Phoenix relationship a) very fascinating, b) not really what I'd been led to believe by fandom (shocker). I like the canon more though -- I like that instead of being a retread of the Dollie betrayal-from-someone-you-love it was two guys who hate each other being forced to play nice as part of their own schemes.

Criticism

I think it's fairly obvious AA4 was meant to be a soft reboot of the series, to pivot away from the trilogy cast and set up our new heroes in Apollo, Trucy, and I guess Klavier. I think this is probably the entire explanation behind Maya and Edgeworth (and others but lbr those are the big two)'s conspicuous absence... but that doesn't make their absence any less conspicuous. I can squint and forgive neither of them being there when Phoenix is accused of murder, even though I find that insane. I can squint around Maya maybe being off in Kurain during the Enigmar trial, even though I think they could've used a line of dialogue to explain it. But then we started playing past-Phoenix for huge portions of investigation and that started to fall apart for me. Sure, maybe he's pushing his friends away because he's depressed, or maybe he wants to keep Maya out of things because he thinks it's dangerous, or whatever -- you could at least throw in a line or two saying as much. Not mentioning them at all and setting AA4 so closely after AA3, where Phoenix fell through a bridge to save Maya and Edgeworth chartered a private jet, just feels ridiculous.

I also think, at the end of the day, the story here was focused on and pivoting around Phoenix. The core question of the game is "what the hell happened to/is up with Phoenix Wright?" I love Phoenix, so that alone isn't a negative -- except that I think it meant Apollo, Klavier and even Trucy felt underwritten. Trucy and Klavier have such personal stakes in the unfolding events with the Gramaryes and Kristoph, but we only spend a little time and hints on how that might influence Trucy, who mostly falls into the AA weird girl pattern of brushing off major trauma instantly. (Maya got this a lot too in the original trilogy.)

Klavier ... I like Klavier, but they did not do much with him. How did he feel about Kristoph going to jail? He doesn't seem to hold it against Apollo, which is uh, noble, but perhaps not believable. He says he values honesty and truth but do we know why?

Apollo, likable as he was, felt like a passenger in his "own" game, rather than a major character. He doesn't even solve much of the stuff happening in the big overarching mystery -- he is Phoenix's avatar in court, presenting evidence and clues Phoenix left for him. Unlike Trucy and Klavier, who I am pretty sure take a back seat from now on, I guess Apollo still has two more games to try and flesh himself out ... lol but I also know fan reception of those two is not great, so my expectations there are minimal.

Overall

A really solid game that I enjoyed playing, though I can see why it's controversial and not some people's favourite, if they really loved the trilogy. I think it's debatable whether this was the best/only way to continue the series after AA3. And I am excited to read and write a billion 7 year gap fics now.

[aliteral-ghost]

This is the piece I did for @hermitzine! It was so much fun to be a part of this project and get to work with everyone! The theme of this zine was music and I hope that's obvious in this piece :)

~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of the record skipping is Joe’s alarm clock this morning, and it’s only because it skips multiple times that he actually gets up. Darn, he slept in again, and now he has to stay up late again so he can finish the parts of the machine that he needs to get done, and it’ll just end with him sleeping in again. At least he has–oh. The record that has been playing all night (and also for the past few weeks, if he’s honest) has a massive groove in it, tearing through all of the ridges and splintering the vinyl.

“Aw, man,” Joe mutters, staring at the destroyed disk in his hands. “That’s my last one of those.” To be fair, he probably should have expected something like this to happen after using the record player while placing hundreds of blocks of sand, but it’s still sad. To be fair, this has happened to the last five disks he overplayed, but Joe is nothing if not persistent. 

The next day he and Cleo are halfway through their weekly crafting session when they hum. “No music today?” Joe waves a hand.

“Some days the best music is the sound of nature around you.” He sets down a pencil and listens to said sound of nature, which is currently someone very violently chopping down trees. “You know, be in the moment, and all that.” He’s never lived in the moment once in his life and they both know it, but then again neither has Cleo.

“Sure.” Cleo pauses for just a minute. “Not this music, though. Ugh, who is…” They both glance over across the river, where Keralis is hard at work collecting wood. He pauses briefly to wave once he’s noticed them looking, smiling widely. They both wave back and Keralis continues, moving on to the next tree.

“Do you ever think about how our lives have a soundtrack?” Joe says after a minute, mindlessly coloring the sheets of paper he brought, tracing out the blueprint for a part of the pinball machine. Cleo looks over from where she’s drawing in her own notebook. 

“No?” They say, voice lilting up like a question. “I don’t? Why, do you?” She wrinkles her eyebrows, more focused on the calligraphy than really focusing on the conversation. It’s how they roll, most weeks. Joe talks and Cleo nods along.

“Well, sure! I like to think about the song that might be playing while things are happening. For a while, it was otherside, but…” Cleo glances over again, this time more interested. 

“You broke all of your disks, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I must have played them in the sand too much or something. Whomp, whomp.” He follows the statement up with a laugh, sort of high-pitched and frantic. “D’you think we all have different soundtracks then, if we do?”

“Oh, for sure,” Cleo says, in a voice that still sounds like they’re just humoring him. “Like Doc? His soundtrack is all scary, like heavy metal, right? There’s no way he and Scar have the same backing tracks.” They pause for just a second. “No, I lied. Doc’s isn’t heavy metal, he’s too much of a softie. Pearl’s is. She’s bloody hardcore.”

That’s an accurate assumption, Joe guesses. He hasn’t been privy to much Pearl has done this season, but he’s fairly certain she just built an entire Ender dragon out of pilfered dragon eggs. If there’s someone able to intimidate Cleo, it’s her.

“So what’s yours, then?” Cleo asks, setting her pen down and leaning on her hands. “Whatever song you’re obsessed with now over and over?”

“I don’t have much time for anything else.” Joe laughs again. “Besides, sometimes the best soundtrack is the same song, over and over, just played at different tempos depending on mood.”

This earns him a patented Cleo lookTM as she turns back to her journal, picking up a small knife. They don’t talk for a while after that, instead listening to the leaves rustle, water flow, and trees topple. 

“Here,” they say eventually, after the wood-collecting has gotten to be too much, and pass Joe a record. “Put this on, I know you’re aching to.” He gasps, energy he hasn’t felt in a while jolting through him, and pulls out his jukebox. 

“Thanks, Cleo!”

The aforementioned record is a simple piano tune, the melody and harmony weaving in and out of each other’s path, spinning down the river and floating high into the air. It fills the server with its music, and although Joe knows that the little song is barely reaching further than Keralis he’d like to think that Tango, in the depths of Decked Out 2, and False, high up on a snowy peak, and Grian and Doc, fighting their battles over the perimeter, can hear it. 

It’s a song that, although the notion is cliche, feels like home. It has managed to encapsulate the feeling that persists, from all ten years of Hermitcraft, of family and friends and feeling like belonging.

[the-one-who-isnt-an-anon]

tw mentioning the suicide-baiting, not in depth or anything, just a little rambly about our relationship as anons to the text

I feel like it should be obvious but at the same time, we're the crickets on Hetch's shoulder so much, I weirdly feel the need to like, officially disavow that :P Like we're holding him accountable for everything else. Obviously it's good that we comforted him but at the same time, I feel bad we didn't stick a "hey don't do that, that was wrong" in there somehow. But maybe that's just me trying to defend against a bad-faith read of our intentions lol.

Even if, if this weren't a comic and was just a TV show or something, I guess I wouldn't be noticing it or questioning it as much. Since the "vote die on yourselves" is about as real of a threat as telling someone to spontaneously combust, and he's also responding to someone who had just expressed murderous intent in a way that WAS a more real threat, sort of.

Also as a side note, I hope 🎱 doesn't feel like any of us blame them. Because as an in-universe thing, that's a terrible thing to say to someone etc. But if we're going by those rules, it's also pretty bad of us to keep calling Hetch "babygirl" against his wishes, since that's yknow, a misgendering and fairly intimate pet name, so that would be straight up sexual harassment irl. And I'm definitely not suggesting we take everything as if it's happening to a real person, because everyone including the blog runner is having fun about it. :P

Since so many of us are babygirlifying Hetch, we really do need some conflict and dissenting opinions to spice things up and also hold Hetch accountable for.

It's not teshuvah/repentance until you're in the exact same situation and make a different and better choice. So I guess we'll be able to tell if this growing-as-a-person thing sticks if in a few weeks (in irl time and probably much longer for Hetch) (ASSUMING HETCH AND THE GANG ARE STILL ALIVE ), Hetch gets a similarly goading ask and is able to respond in a better way.

Anyway, thanks 🎱 for going against the crowd here. If it weren't for a couple mean messages here and there, we might wind up just thinking Hetch's problems all magically vanished and he's a great person now, which would have made him feel flatter... and would have felt really disappointing when he inevitably gives into old habits in a less private situation in the future. :P

[everydayyoulovemeless]

FNV Companions (+Christine and Benny) With A Shy!Courier

➼ Word Count » 0.6k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic

Boone doesn't mind it, as long as you can hold you're own he'll be content. He doesn't mind protecting you, he just doesn't want to end up being a constant bodyguard for you, so if that's what you're looking for, he's not the guy. He can be incredibly blunt or harsh in his statements whether that flusters you or not, so be aware. Despite the obvious difference, the two of you actually have much more in common than you might think and can tell what the other is saying through simple actions or facial expressions. You both can work well together if you can overcome a few hiccups along the way and find ways to use each other's skills to benefit you both better.

Arcade doesn't mind that you're shy, as long as you know what you're doing. He's fairly quiet himself and doesn't mind talking for you if you end up getting too flustered or overwhelmed. He's very soft with you, you remind him of some of the other Follower's he's seen throughout his time, and tries his best to work around you're nervousness.

Raul also doesn't care. He likes to tease you and get you all flustered, mostly because he thinks it's crazy that you're willingly going on this revenge journey and can't take light flirting, but otherwise, he's nice about it. He'll talk to you and you can just listen and he'll be content with it.

Lily is so gentle with you. She talks quieter and finds herself being way more protective over you than she normally is of people. She honestly just wants you to feel safe and comfortable around her and will do whatever is necessary to accomplish that for you.

Cass loves to say the most outrageously crude things just to get you all embarrassed. She thinks you're the cutest thing. She's constantly trying to force you out of your comfort zone, even if it feels a bit much at times.

Veronica’s quick to defend you in any given situation. She doesn’t mind your more closed-off nature and has so much fun just rambling about anything to you. She won't force you to do anything you don't want to but finds it adorable if you get flustered when you wear dresses.

Rex has a habit of growling at people who seem to make you nervous, but other than that, he won't do much.

ED-E starts to nudge you forward when he notices you doubting or second-guessing yourself. It's his way of trying to boost your confidence, even if he just ends up pushing you over.

Christine doesn't really have an opinion. As long as it doesn't get in the way of her goal, why should she care? Although, when she loses her voice she might be slightly annoyed if you can't help translate her gestures and communicate for her.

Benny thinks it's adorable that you're this shy and still decided to come all the way out here to kill him. He finds it really hard to take you seriously when all you do is stutter and avert your eyes. He'll laugh you off and shoo you away. A lot of his actions will just end up coming off as domineering but it’s only cause he doesn’t believe you’ve ever hurt a fly in your life. You're not a threat to him, so why should he treat you as one?

[doctor-badadvice]

Yayyy comes back at you but with tmnt ask game!

19.) Who is your favorite ally?

23.) What is one of your favorite TMNT fics?

28.) What is one thing you would like to see explored more in TMNT art/fics?

-- Trauma (hi :D)

I'm still doing this thing

19.) Who is your favorite ally?

My favorite ally ever is Irma

Since we're talking allies, I'm going to mention both '87 and '03 which are also the versions I like and know best.

'87 is a challenge because it's ten seasons and I can only rewatch two seasons at the time but even if it's been a couple decades, I'm still fond of Usagi. Good samurai boy overall and while he's in '03 too, I don't have much to say about him there especially when '03 April exists. The choice is a bit too obvious but she's smart, she can fight, she's a redhead and she very much cares about the turtles no matter how many times her home is destroyed without being like, five years old like in recent versions.

A couple of honorable mentions go to Sydney/Quarry & friends, as well as Serling for being always this close to making turtle soup for dinner.

23.) What is one of your favorite TMNT fics?

>:) Let me just open AO3 real quick

I'll be honest, I don't read fanfiction often. My account is still fairly new and I got it just because it clicked that I can use it to keep up with stuff.

Anyways, in no specific order (and with links in case someone somehow missed any of these). It says one but I'm going to give a shoutout to all my favorite works:

Taking Pawns: Excellent all around, I think I read this one like five times. The first chapter had me running in circles for a bit because heck yes and it probably contributed to changing my opinion of FF and even do a proper rewatch of the season.

The Locket from Y’Lyntias: I don't even like mermaids and yet here I am waiting for the next chapter. I likes both ideas for the mernerds but I guess the fun is how messed up it's gonna get regardless.

The Good Way: Still fairly new, yet I think about this one a lot. Few things irk me more than time skips so this one will have me go 👀 throughout the chapters.

28.) What is one thing you would like to see explored more in TMNT art/fics?

I'm probably the last person who should be saying anything in this regard but— I guess I'd like more action? The little every day moments and the introspective stuff are nice but I'm a simple person, I like myself a cool fight. A well written fight scene is incredibly fun and it saves you from writing all that pesky dialogue.

[pro-memoriia]

Favorite thing about each ghoul? (Doesn’t have to be EVERY ghoul you can pick whoever or a certain era whatever you want)

AUGH okay!! Here we go. This is just Re-Imperatour ghouls + ghoulettes. Fair warning though, it's kind of a lot.

My favorite thing about Rain is probably his body and how he moves it. I KNOW that sounds awful at first, but let me explain! He's very expressive and I feel like he really corresponds with his element through his physical action. He can be smooth and swift, but also a bit rough or aggressive, just like water. So not only does his body look amazing, but it moves so wonderfully. He's alluring and ethereal and it shows with the way he moves. Even despite being clumsy and tripping sometimes... (I'm sorry if I worded this terribly, I'm not good at explaining my thoughts.)

My favorite thing about Swiss is his confidence. He's so good, and he fucking knows it. He shows it off so well, like a siren or a succubus. He moves his body so sensually and freely. The thing is, without confidence, it would just look rough. You'd look at his actions and question it. But he has no hesitation, no unsure-ness, nothing to hold him back. He's free and confident, open to all, which I just think is amazing.

My favorite thing about Mountain is probably his control over his own body. As someone who grew up with people who screamed or threw things or hit whenever they were upset or excited, I find it amazing how someone can keep their body level to their mind. Mountain knows his intentions. He knows he should hit his drums hard but keep his touch soft when handling one of the ghouls/ghoulettes. He can be so rough and aggressive with his playing and then have the sweetest touch on someone's shoulder just seconds later. Maybe it's bare minimum, but like I said, it's just crazy to me since I grew up with such... Openly emotional people.

My favorite thing about Dewdrop is his attitude towards those he's close with. He has a fiery personality, he's a spitfire, and he's got a fairly short temper. But when it comes to certain ghouls, like Rain or Aether, you can tell he has a softer spot. He's still got spunk and might flip a middle finger, but it's so obvious that he really does care for them and would never genuinely hurt them. I just think it's sweet.

My favorite thing about Phantom is his extroverted and social personality. Right from the start, he was almost like an eager dog. He was quick to start showing off and doing cool tricks and stuff. He was quick to grow an amazing stage presence with his bandmates. He was quick to know the name given to him by fans. He was just so out there and had a seemingly very positive attitude from what I could tell, and I love that.

My favorite thing about Cirrus is her stage presence. She knows she's cool, she knows she's pretty, she knows she's loved (ESPECIALLY by some girls *cough*me*cough). And not only that, she's not afraid to have fun. She dances with the others, dances with herself, keeps herself entertained (and fans, as a result), etc. She knows herself and she knows what she's doing because she's got it all under control! Even if her keytar sounds off, she's okay because she knows how to play things off and stay calm and confident.

My favorite thing about Cumulus is how fucking sweet she is!! I love seeing her up there with the ghoulettes especially. Caressing them and holding their hands and smiling at them. It's so cute. And at the end of rituals when they're all going around and stuff, she's got flowers and she's blowing kisses and stuff. I guess they all kinda do that but with Cumulus, it's just different for some reason.

My favorite thing about Aurora is that she's a fucking princess, to say the least. She's very elegant and pretty and swift. She's just satisfying to watch. Her voice, her dancing, her attitude, everything from her stomping boots to those perfectly manicured nails. She's just nice to look at because she's so perfect.

[iiota]

my unasked for hades 2 overview for no one that asked

first off im gonna say this game is so much fun and wildly different than the first game which doesnt make it feel as repetitive as i thought. a lot of hades 2 focuses on longer range attacks which definitely will take a while to get used to as someone who replayed hades 1 a bit before playing thinking itd be similar playstylewise

the main new introduced gimmick is charged attacks and a change cast that is a circle placed on the ground over a launcher which i LOVE now but the weapon charge attacks are really hit or miss for me. im also a tad disappointed with the weapons i like the staff and the skull but the axe and twin flames arree kinda difficult to use with how i play. the sickle im neutral on and i think theres one more i dont have unlocked

the environments are gorgeous. end tweet the only time i remember im playing an early access game is coming across placeholder assets.

a bit of the combat feels like itll get rebalanced later but its not the Worst. its not really buggy besides like 3 really minor things most ppl wont notice (my timer turning off when i reopened the game, sometimes damage numbers dont show when i hit hecate, not being able to change my monitor in settings)

i do not like how you cannot trade ur tools once you get into a run..i forget what i have sometimes..the tarot card upgrades are a cool concept and fit the witchy theme

i feel..less attached to a lot of the characters than the first one which is funny bc i didnt really care too much about them in the first bc the story writing in 1 is awful but character interactions were fun sometimes. melinoe's design is. not Bad but its not really great it feels a bit too disconnected from..like everything when it feels like shes supposed to be a mix of hades but with evidence of being raised by hecate but the orange and blonde hair............girl i do not like it are they allergic to giving a woman dark hair (minus like.. nemesis) (in trying to make melinoe the opposite of zagreus they kinda just made her into a very bland Woman she should have been a slob too idk shes kinda just like..perfect)

I DO like nemesis more than i thought. much more fun to have some woman come antagonize you other than just helping. but dora is the best character so far..my weed smoking shade roommate. i feel like my feelings on the designs are obvious but i will give a pass to chaos because i do think its a bit of a slay but i cant help but laugh at the bishounenification

scylla's songs are way better than all the vocal tracks from hades 1 like no contest in the blood sucked

the story is fairly non existent atm mostly bc i havent beaten a run yet..its..fine i guess. better than 1

the nude headshots from the bath cutscenes are so scary they need to back the fuck up

[sleepyowlwrites]

Im...sorry it's not original, but now that you brought all these questions up (https://www.tumblr.com/sleepyowlwrites/752120356487168000/you-lot-should-be-quizzing-me-on-my-stories-and?source=share)

Can you please answer them?

I wanted to ask you to share fun(or sad, or funny etc) facts about your stories but didn't wanna pressure you TT

Have a wonderful day regardless!! ♥️♥️♥️

The post with a working link

And the answers to the questions asked:

1. R stands for Roland. He doesn't like his name, so he started going by R, which is like, so dumb, my guy, but R is dumb, so it fits. Eventually it just sounds like his name, which, to him it is.

2. R and Mark are fighting because *inhales deeply* R has a mortifying ordeal of being known complex while simultaneously having need to be seen and acknowledged complex, and Mark got invited to the friend group by Daniel but then proceeded to kinda ignore R's existence, which is not okay! And he got all dramatic about it, and then Mark, who lowkey has a self-destructive thing going on due to his healing superpower (oh yeah he has that) so he makes it physical and R is lowkey self-destructive due to his middle child pseudo-parent arrogance thing he's got going on and he also makes it physical and then the friend group is like please stop, this is so stupid, and then they stop being physical about it for their friends but they're still being stupid and being verbally abrasive to each other until gradually they can't find any reasons to keep going with that and then they stop fighting. And then it's awkward! Yay.

3. Rune's ex-fianceè was abusive and controlling and he orchestrated her parents' deaths! Jail, jail for Max for ten thousand years or maybe just like, fall off a bridge or something. ☠️@$%!💀%!#☠️?&!#@💀#!?@ (Asterix cursing, lol)

4. The phantom thieves are after a map that leads to a famous treasure, they hope, and stealing the bride will get them closer to securing it. I invented the idea before I knew anything about one piece but now that I know things I realize the vibes are... well they're similar to the live action show, anyway.

5. Rhea does not know who her father truly is, which is an important plot point but also I feel fairly obvious from certain angles. This is the only thing in this list that I don't want to tell you. I don't even have major ambitions about summon story. I just want to keep this spoiler tucked away until I make myself write the actual plot.

And there you go, here are the answers. I guess I do remember some stuff about my stories.

@akindofmagictoo

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 9

woah, how strong is Tess/how weak is Aiden? i guess it's probably that Tess is jacked. non-digital art supplies are heavy.

he truly is the worst dad ever. no wonder Fiore constantly faceplanting never raised any alarm bells for him. it does make him being so worried about Fiore being attacked by the scorpion/alone in the dark in S1 all the sweeter, though :) (or all the more fucked up, from his son's perspective.)

WHERE THE FUCK DID YUL GET KAI'S SHIRT FROM SHKHSLKJASLDJASLD. i guess the last time we saw Kai he was shirtless so i guess his shirt must have wound up somewhere???

this makes sense, kind of. although, i maintain that Grett's actual gameplay in S1 was ATROCIOUS. anyways i love supportive Riya!!! just like Alec and Riya, this is a really fun pairing that i hope they expand upon more.

this was just by unabashedly being himself, i imagine? i can't picture Yul supporting Grett being herself, no matter what her true self is. he's too appearance-discriminatory for that.

thank god it's not another split personality plotline; i've had enough of those from other series.

top 10 photos taken seconds before disaster

WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!?!?! (/ref)

something about Aiden saying "sexy" really caught me off guard. anyways, woahhhhh whaaaaat oh my godddddd i can't believe Tom's boyfriend was fake!

yeah... because cops never lie 🤨

this really is therapy: the episode, huh? it's fine, i like the character work. also, Trevor's feelings reveal! this was pretty obvious, especially once they showed it in the trailer, so i'm not at all surprised. what i am surprised about is that we didn't see any of Derek and Kristal getting a drink or playing pool this episode. did it just happen off screen, or was it canceled/postponed? i'm sure Kristal's reaction will have some kind of effect on how Derek takes the news whenever Trevor decides to tell him.

Trevor is an honorary member of the Magenta team :) also, i would've thought slip-n-slide was a copyrighted brand name. then again, i have no idea what they'd call it otherwise.

we see later that other people do miss their shots fairly frequently. thus, this is proof that Grett is 100% baller.

mad at her (/j) for this one because my first thought when Tess and Ally wound up on top of each other was "this, too, is yuri."

*adds one tally to the "Yul lines that made me laugh out loud" counter*

maybe they are soulmates

HKSDLKJDLFJSDF GET HIS ASS

THE GIRLIES ARE WORKING TOGETHER AGAIN!!! and for real this time!

mildly disappointing-- with the episode playing out this way, i was kinda hoping that it would have been Aiden instead of Tess. however, for as much as you can argue that Aiden is just an obstacle in the Jake/Tom plot, Tess was pretty much only acting as a counselor in the Gabby/Ellie plot. and, while you could argue that Tess still had more potential to be explored in her relationship with Ally, Aiden still has more potential to be explored in his relationship with Riya. the biggest shame, in my opinion, is that they're favoring Aiden and Riya, who placed 3rd and 2nd, over Tess and Ally, who placed 9th and 6th. i should probably save more of these thoughts for my next power ranking instead, but, these ARE my initial thoughts on the elimination.

and she doesn't even get her gf to see her out? what is this cruel world?! (/j)

this is a really great expression. Tom and Aiden, watch your backs >:)

overall, a really fun episode! we got some nice character check-ins at the beginning, followed by some enthralling strategy at the end. watching Gabby fully and openly devolve into villainhood is a treat. super excited to see where we go next! if you count Gabby in with the villains, we've got 5 villains versus 5 non-villains... will a merge pit the two sides against each other, or will we wait until there are 9 players left to create an even half? until next time!

[blade-that-was-broken]

You know DJ Suki from Trolls, right?

Do you think she will ever be back?

Honestly I’m not sure if she will ever be back as I heard that her voice actor is busy in real life or something.

What do you think what happened to her? I know in TrollsTopia, it showed where she went in the final but as we know it’s not canon to movies and she wasn’t seen in TWT. (Never liked Legsly, I’m surprised I never realized that until now that DJ Suki wasn’t in TWT-)

I’m not sure if she will be in next movie but I’m kind of hope The Snack Pack will get more attention like in Trolls, unlike TWT and TBT.

Yes of course they were awesome in TWT, like Cooper having the important role and have a backstory to his family, Yay! :D

I’m fine with Biggie except how he did was great, as we saw in the end of TWT and how he said that the good queen should be listening, he helped in good way even if I don’t like him.

But TBT… what happened? Where they are?! If Tiny have big role in then should Guy be? He’s Guy’s son after all! Poor Guy…. :(

I hope some missing members are back in too, I like Smidge, she’s the great character.

I actually kind of liked DJ Suki. I'm not sure if she will be back. I guess it depends on a lot of things, even if there ends up being another movie. Not that she had a ton of screen time in the movie anyways; it was mostly the show which I don't think is technically canon?

Cooper's backstory kind of came out of nowhere but it also kind of makes sense cause he was so different. When it comes to that, I kind of understand Poppy's point. Like, despite Cooper being so different, no one ever treated him like he was an outsider and his differences are fairly obvious.

Biggie kind of drives me nuts sometimes lol but it might be his voice. also, controversial opinion, Mr. Dinkles wigs me out.

TBT was very Branch- centric. Tiny was mostly there because kids love him and he's got that extra comedic effect. I understand why the snack pack isn't really involved. That would be WAY too big of a cast for kids to understand and handle - and the cast was already big to begin with for that movie. We have to remember, in the end, no matter what age people are watching - these movies primary audience is children. Sure, it's got some adult humor - it's kind of like shrek. Kids can watch and have fun but the parents also watching can be amused at the same time.

Anyway, I got a little off topic.

If they do another movie, I'm kind of hoping it might be a bit more Poppy-centric? As we all know I LOVE Branch and JD and the rest of the bros but I'd love to see a bit more Poppy-centric stuff too. Especially now that she has a sister by her side. Possibly.

I think we think of the Snack Pack as this huge thing because of the TV show mostly. In the end, the movies are very easily about Poppy and Branch. It's the characters the audience focus on and since it's mostly just them, it can be easier to digest for kids. The rotating cast of new characters invites new jokes, new toys and new interests for the kids who don't always remember some of the side characters of other movies.

This is something that I generally like to keep in mind, that some of the movies we love and watch are made for children a lot younger than us. So I take everything with a grain of salt and that in mind and it definitely helps my enjoyment. I don't expect questions to be answered or deep themes to be addressed. That's something I - and others - can do through fanfiction.

So yeah... my two cents lol

[gxilds]

the borderlands

for dummies

I guess

now that we have reached the conclusion of the original manga series in the show, a lot of my friends seemed to be confused about the ending or what exactly the borderlands is. And while I haven’t finished the show (wether I am or not is debatable, granted i’m just dramatic and will get over my qualms with it fairly quickly) I have read the manga which gives you more clues as to how you should interpret it.

the mass majority of this post will be the last few chapters of the manga which stay relatively true to what the show has in it (other that some stuff that is not relevant to this post) so take that how you will.

this post will be divided into a few parts

what created the borderlands

what we can interpret the borderlands is

how it affected the players

in the last chapter we are met with this group of panels at the start

We are informed of a meteorite attack that happened two years prior to the events of this final chapter. we can grab two things from this:

this meteorite attack is relevant to the story

the story probably spans over two years

Using that first and second point, we can assume that it is not just relevant but that it is probably what the fireworks were in the beginning of the series was.

and in chapter 63 they also use fireworks for parallel as to them finishing all of them games and show is a meteorite hitting what we can assume to be shibuya

so a meteorite hit them? cool, I guess… what can we do with this information?

I’m so glad I asked, narrator me!

this leads me to the second question

how can we interpret this?

I guess… it’s more simple now that I put it into words.

Essentially,

it’s a collective state of limbo.

I guess?

It’s a point between life and death where it seems the borderlands are used to create judgment as to if the characters should really die or not.

in order to prove this we have to mix the third point into this

how has it affected the players?

in the end we find the players in the hospital with no memories of what happened in the borderlands but clearly affected

(For some reason I can’t find any panels online for this but I do still have the one of chishiya stocked up because I’m so not normal about him)

for example, Chishiya is affected emotionally and is left feeling better after his clear change of heart in the end of the series.

Niragi lays next to him burnt to a crisp and as far as we know chishiya seems to be hurt as well from the damage caused by niragi. so they’re all obviously somewhat affected by what happens inside when they leave.

Everyone else wakes up from their 2 year (supposedly) coma and is left without memory of the borderland but totally cool with each other. Arisu and Usagi ask each other out (my parents fr fr, thank you AIB Retry), Kuina is being my pookie and they’re all having fun… other than those who aren’t there.

People who died in the borderlands seem to have not made it (Karube, chota, etc), which puts the limbo theory into prospective.

as for the collective part of it… I thought that was obvious

all the meteorite victims are in the borderlands with each other and interact in ways that leave impressions on each other

duh

Look, I know the way I word this makes the writers sound dumb but I actually think it’s creative and kind of refreshing. I half expected to have them turn this shit into as the gods will when I first read the manga…and then I would’ve been left disappointed. and while there is a sequel series to cover I’m glad there’s a happy (albeit, tentative and not long lasted) ending.

I don’t think they’re going to do the sequel manga in the show, sadly. I also feel like it goes without saying that if they continue the show without using the source material other than to give us tooth rotting chishiya fluff and him living his best life after the borderlands then I’m not tuning in 😮‍💨 sorry to whatever this joker bullshit is that i’m hearing about but… lawd 😭😭

🏷️: @clearskiesandmistyeyes @irehluvr

[mysticaldeanvoidhorse]

A Chance at Love

Part 10

Jensen x Reader

Summary:

Having been legal guardian to your niece for almost a year, you land a job on the set of Supernatural.  You become good friends with Jared, doing his makeup everyday but when Jensen gets back from a small break, are you able to stick to your oath to keep your heart closed?

tag list: @streets-in-paradise ​ @nancymcl @lyarr24 ​ @hobby27 ​  @tristanrosspada-ackles @muhahaha303 @kazsrm67 @eonnyx @maggiegirl17 @stoneyggirl2 @djs8891 @tristanrosspada-ackles​ @recoveringpastaaddict @tmb510 @ladysparkles78

tag list open :)

Masterlist

page breakers curtesy of @firefly-graphics

   “So how was lunch?”  Carol asked when you walked back into the trailer.

“It was really good, we talked about what happened to Morgan’s parents and everything about it and honestly, I enjoyed talking about it.  It felt good to tell someone who seemed to actually care. Then we just talked about whatever, and he is really great to talk to.”  You couldn’t help but smile.

“See, I told you he was a great guy.  He is a caring guy in general, but he really cares about you.”  She emphasized, and wiggled her eyebrows.

“I don’t know about that, he cares about everyone.”

“Right, and he holds everyone’s hands too.”  She said sarcastically.

“So you were spying on us?”  You asked her.

“Of course I was, I have to look out for both of you.”  She said it matter of factly like it was obvious and unapologetic.

“Oh Carol, what am I going to do with you?”  You laughed.

“Hopefully you will finally listen to me.”  She stared pointedly.

     The following few weeks you had talked to Jensen more and you couldn’t help but notice he made a lot of effort to come talk to you, and though he was nice with everyone, he wasn’t nearly as invested with them.  You couldn’t help but wonder if Carol was right.  But he never made a move that you could tell, and though you were a little disappointed you still enjoyed all the time you could spend with him.

“Are you going to the mid-season party?”  Carol asked you one morning as you were cleaning up your stations.

“I hardly had time to even think about it.”

“You know you have a babysitter.”  Carol told you.

“Your family is too great.  Yes I am sure if she can, I would definitely love for her to babysit again, but I don’t even have a dress or anything.”

“Oh honey, if that is what is holding you back, I will take you shopping.”

“I hardly have time to get groceries, I don’t have time for that.”  You told her, thinking about how it could even work.

“I thought we were trying to work on your negative mindset?”  She said, as nicely as she could.

“You are right,”  You sighed.  You had been trying to get into a better mindset about not knowing how to do things but work on how to see how to make it work.  And Carol had been great at keeping you accountable.  You wanted to better yourself, knowing you couldn’t keep going on in the state you were in.

“I know, dear.”  she half teased.

“Okay well, I can pick up Morgan, bring her a snack, go shopping and I guess eat out?”  You hardly ate out, just wanting to stay home after exhausting days during the week.

“Yes!  And dinner is on me so that should be good incentive”

“Oh Carol, no I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t.” And it was left at that.  You knew you couldn’t win an argument against her when she made up her mind.  One of her best and most annoying traits.

     A few days later you made plans to go out and you were looking forward to it.

“Any fun plans this weekend?”  Jensen asked you on Friday morning while you were doing his makeup.  It was your favorite part of the day, working so close with the man who held your heart.

“Actually yes, believe it or not.”  He asked you that fairly often, and the answer was almost always the same.  Grocery shopping and catching up from the week.

“And what are they?”  He asked, as you leaned over his face.

“Carol is taking me shopping.”

“And that is fun?”  He asked, with a fake disgusted face on.

“It is!”  You defended.  “She is helping me find a dress for the midseason party.”  

“Well in that case it is important.  But you would look amazing in a brown paper bag.”  He blushed, and you blushed too, taking the opportunity to turn around to grab a new makeup brush.

“I think I will stick with a dress, but I appreciate the input.”  You joked.

“Probably a good idea.  You will look better than anyone there.”  He made eye contact, and you could tell he was being serious, and you couldn’t help but appreciate the beautiful green staring at you.  Why did he have to make you feel this way?

“Careful, you will make all the other girls jealous with that kind of talk.”

“Well they should be, they can’t compete with you.”

“Careful Jensen, flirting this early in the morning is bound to lead nowhere good.”  You joked.

“Nowhere good with you sounds good to me.”  His wink made you swoon.  The things this man could do without even trying, it was criminal.

“Oh really? Well, in that case…”  You smirked.

“Don’t get my hopes up, I have too long of a day to not have that promise fulfilled.”

“Guess you just have to wait until the party.”  You had both gotten more flirty lately and you didn’t hate it, to say the least.

“You’re killing me, woman.”  He said, almost groaning.

“I am worth the wait.”  You flirted back, getting more confident with each reaction.  Before you could continue Jared walked in.

“Morning guys”  He greeted.

“Morning Jared, take a seat I am almost done with Jensen.”

“Too bad.”  Jensen said.  You just rolled your eyes and smiled.  You missed the knowing look Jared gave Jensen.

     After work, you and Carol carpooled to pick up Morgan and she was so excited for the day with ‘Aunty Carol’.  You had a great afternoon trying on a bunch of dresses, giggling like a little kid, eating food, and enjoying such good company.  It had been good for your soul.  You ended up picking out a nice little black dress that was very flattering yet appropriate for a work party.  Carol had insisted on it when you were second guessing your choice.  You hadn’t had to go to a party like this in so long you had started to lose your touch-no, you had lost it.  You had dropped her off at her house with a promise to go out again soon.  You had so appreciated her friendship, you were convinced she was an angel.  Her daughter had also agreed to babysit for that night as well.  In all this turmoil, how did you get so lucky?

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”  Carol asked you Friday morning.  You handed her a coffee and smiled.

“I am excited, I have heard so much about it from everyone around set and it sounds like a lot of fun!”  You told her.

“I half expected you to be nervous!”  She chuckled.

“Oh don’t get me wrong, I definitely am, but I am excited to enjoy a night out.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Y/N?”  She pretended to be shocked.

“I guess you are rubbing off on me.”

“About time!”  She teased. “I can’t take all the credit, you and Jensen have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Only when he asked me about my past, otherwise I really haven’t seen him.”  You mused.

“Why is that?”

“I guess he has just been busy.  It seems great when he is here getting his makeup done, but he never even waves anymore when I see him on set.”  You tried to not sound hurt.  “I guess he is just busy.  I don’t want to sound like an angsty teen wondering whether he likes me or not.  I am sure he has a reason.”  You told her.

“I am glad you are trying to be mature but don’t be an idiot.  Yes he is busy, but you know he has feelings for you.”

“Are you sure?  Cause I was hoping he did but he hasn’t done much to make me think he does.  He is kind to everyone, and so wonderful just as a human being.”

“He is, you’re right, he only lights up when you are around, and though he is kind to everyone he goes out of his way for you, and you can tell he really enjoys being around you.  You might not see it all, but it is true.  And who knows what this party will bring?”  She wiggled her eyebrows at you.

“I guess we will see.”  You smiled at her.  You went back to work, and enjoyed just being with your friend.

[meretrifles]

Public Library of Ruina - Yesod

I still dither a little about Yesod. He's either Information Technology, Information Services, or both. Both feels a little self-indulgent, but it's kind of what I want.

Information Technology is basically regular IT-- have you tried turning it off and back on again. The library doesn't add a huge amount to that-- more databases, a website, shitty civic budget, unpredictable public users. You're gonna replace a lot of keyboards. (You should probably take the ones where people rearranged the keys into swear words out of service. Or at least fix them first.)

Information Services is, at this point, extroverted IT. Back in the day, this was the department that specialized in "reference" questions-- the weird stuff. People would ask librarians for all sorts of weird facts in the pre-google days. It does still happen, but less and less every year as search engines become ubiquitous and the people who remember that was a thing slowly die off. Still, reference will never completely die. People are always going to come to libraries with weird questions; that's kind of the point.

So why am I calling it extroverted IT? Because that's the primary function. There's the fairly obvious part-- people sometimes need help searching the catalogue or reading e-books. But here's the less obvious part. Myrtle has a new laptop, but she's not sure how to do anything with it and her kids all live hours away. Who's she going to call? Who can help people learn how to use technology? Without many other options, the answer frequently is-- the library.

Think everyone has a cell phone? Ask a public librarian. We know there are still plenty of people without a phone or with a secondhand POS with no sim card. Curious what happens if someone can't remember their gmail password? If you're prepared to deal with a post-traumatic response, ask a public librarian. Have you ever tried to help someone with no available cell phone recover their google account? It would probably save a lot of time if we could just tell them at the start they're SOL. But maybe they can remember the password, and technically there's a reset function that might work in a few days if you're approved.... Fun times when you're dealing with an upset person who can barely type on a good day and has just lost a ton of personally valuable and literally valuable information, probably forever. Think 2-factor authentication is great? It sure is, if you have a second factor. We have a list of free email sites that don't require you to already have an email address or a cell phone. It's hella short. And we took one off cause it was too Russian. Protonmail is a good bet if you can remember passwords. Which is a significant if. Some people just can't. Which is OK if you can save them on your computer. Oh, you don't have one and you have to use public devices all the time? Well, write it down and hope it doesn't get stolen and that you can remember which one is which. (Have you already guessed that sometimes people ask librarians to remember their passwords for them?)

In short, the library also serves as a public IT department, for services and devices it has zero control over.

Whether he's internal or public IT support, Yesod is also going to snap. Though, he will also have access to an abnormality that can affect people outside the library, which is a nontrivial perk. He will use it exclusively on vendors. I am hoping some of his bullets bend space and time to successfully hit whatever asshats decided it was OK to build the entire backbone of library ebook lending on Adobe Fucking Digital Editions, an old ass program with literally zero support. It would seem impossible for them to still be shackled to it in the City, but it also seems impossible that we're still shackled to it now, so I'm pretty sure the ultimate capitalist dystopia couldn't let it die.

Hmm? My specialty? I'm a reference librarian. Why do you ask?

[mangoshorthand]

Note: this chapter was added as part of a major edit/extension of this fic which is why it's being posted now and out of order.

Before A Fall [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Ch 7 (Hard Feelings Part 2)

SUMMARY: As your life begins to grow around Five's, his attitude becomes a little sinister. When does protection become suffocation and when does taking matters into your own hands become betrayal? (weekly updates) Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve

You and Klaus are plotting. Five is suspicious.

False accusations below. Proceed at your own risk

Chapter 7: Dirty Little Secrets

The next few days are marked by whispered conferences with Klaus quickly stifled when someone else walks into the room. 

You know it’s been noticed by all the other Umbrellas, but you don’t care. Sneaking off to do research with Klaus while they plan their heist is undeniably fun. It’s childish, but you can’t help but snigger behind your hands at them, tooling themselves up to go in all guns blazing when you both know a better solution would be there waiting for them online if only they thought to check.

It’s exciting. It’s nice to feel that you can still have secrets- that there’s an aspect of your life outside work that Five doesn’t have complete access to. If he doesn’t trust you with information, why should you trust him?

You’re not really angry with the rest of them, but you can’t help but notice that they’ve not really objected to Five’s treatment of you. Though the siblings bicker and would deny this until the end of time, all of them are too easily influenced by a domineering personality like Five’s. 

To be fair to him, he hasn’t been unkind since that night. He’s been cagey and preoccupied but still affectionate. Furthermore, after that first family meeting, he hasn’t made a habit of neglecting Santi in favor of these plans. You’re sharing his care fairly amicably, both making time to play with him, help him with his homework and cook for him in spite of your separate schemes.

You’ve fallen back into the state of uneasy peace that fell after the ‘Übermensch’ conversation. It’s fragile and could shatter at any moment, but it’s held regardless. On your side at least, the resentment has simmered away, coagulating into something thick, heavy and potent.

It’s evening. You’re holed up in Klaus’s old bedroom, listening to the radio and making notes. He sits at one end of the bed and you at the other, another crate of beers on the floor.

You don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket, so while Klaus stalks Klein online, you’re doing some more preliminary work: making lists of other possible candidates to get the information from. 

Celine Gregory is a  woman who, up until last year, was employed by JUICED’s Investor Relations division. Since leaving under a cloud, she seems to have made it her life’s mission to roast the entire corporation on every online platform she can.

Her entire social media presence seems devoted to slightly unhinged screeds about everything from JUICED’s hiring practices to their lack of ergonomic office furniture. You think she has potential as an ally, but Klaus has his doubts. While it’s obvious she’d leap at the opportunity to bring JUICED down for giving kids cancer, she’s probably burned too many bridges with her old colleagues to give her a chance of accessing the information.

You have to admit he has a point, but you note her down in your notepad anyway.

“Klein definitely wants the whole world to know he’s het,” murmurs Klaus, scrolling through his social media, “lots of pictures of girlfriends. Oh- we’ve changed again. This one’s called Greta.”

“Is he single right now?”

“Mm-hm. I would guess he’s between girlfriends, yes.”

You lean over, abandoning your own screen for a while to look at his. As if Klein’s presence on LinkedIn was illustrative enough, his instagram confirmed the impression. It had a whiff of old co-worker Charlie about it- the asshole whose nose Five broke last year. He’s a very distinct type and you’d know it anywhere. 

Forgetting Celine, you angle Klaus’s machine towards yourself and scroll down a few posts. 

“...I think I should honeytrap him.”

Klaus makes a skeptical noise, covering his discomfort with humor.

“I don’t know: I’m getting vibes. He seems too straight. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. I think I should do it. I’d be forbidden fruit.”

You laugh along with him. 

“Of course you want to be some asshole businessman's dirty little secret.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” he says, still laughing, “And you can’t exactly talk: you were an asshole old man’s dirty little secret, and I bet you loved that, didn’t you, you naughty girl?”

You laugh more fully. Klaus is often unnerving in his perceptiveness, having struck on the dynamic with alarming accuracy. 

When your amusement dies down, Klaus looks at you with as serious an expression as he can manage.

“Seriously, why put yourself at risk when I could just corner him in a dark alley, conjure some ghosties and have his grandma persuade him for us? Why complicate it?”

You look back down at Klein’s face on his latest post. He’s wearing sunglasses and looking out over the Hudson as if contemplating life, the universe and everything. 

“I honestly don’t think that would work on him.”

A pause in which you both look down at the screen. You lean your head against the wall beside Klaus’s. Gradually, you can feel him watching you, looking up at you with his head inclined towards yours.

“How are things with old man Fünfenheimer, anyway?”

You make a non-committal noise.

“That good, eh?”

He takes a swig of his beer and laughs in anticipation of his next joke:

“Don’t sweat it: just get him a few of the little blue pills and you’ll be right back to your once-a-week socks-on missionary.”

You roll your eyes and Klaus continues:

“Is he still being an asshole?”

“Same old, same old,” you mutter, resentfully, “still treating me like a child.”

Klaus nods slowly. You can sense the battle of loyalties going on in his mind. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” he says, quietly, “he’s a giant dickhead but, in Cinco’s defense, this is all new to him. For most of his life, he could put his woman away in a duffel bag if he needed to.”

You shake your head. As if that would justify him?

“But I get it,” Klaus continues, “Someone’s always got to be the liability in this family and it sucks. First it was Viktor but now it’s me and you, apparently. It’s always: ‘Oh, Klaus, you be lookout’ or, ‘who cares what Klaus has to say- it’s just Klaus, right?’”

He discards his beer bottle and passes you a new one as he serves himself. He takes a long swig before continuing. 

“Five acts like he’s immune to it; like Dad’s bullshit skipped him somehow, but his head is jammed just as far up his own ass as Luther’s ever was.”

“Everything’s an uphill battle with him.”

“Because he’s an emotional idiot, babe.” Klaus says, as if this is obvious, “he’s more fucked up than the rest of us in that way.”

Silence falls for a couple of minutes as you drink your beers companionably.

“You’re not immune to it either,” you say, quietly. 

Klaus looks at you, waiting.

“Just now-” you explain, “you leapt in when we were talking about Klein and you said you’d persuade him.”

“Only because I got an inbuilt persuasion technique,” Klaus says, with slight, whiny defensiveness. 

“No Klaus: listen, I know this guy. I know what makes him tick. I’ve networked with and schmoozed this kind of asshole before. I know what he wants, I know what buttons to press but you still thought your powers would be more persuasive than everything I know.”

Klaus watches you earnestly.

“I guess I did.”

Then, coming to a decision, he shrugs and takes another hearty sip of beer.

“So what’s the plan, mon capitan?”

You smile at him, and launch into the idea that’s been taking shape in your mind ever since you first saw Klein’s profile picture.

“Okay: I’m a capable younger woman- I’m a go-getter right at the start of my career and I’m impressed by him. I dress business sexy, I go in there and fawn over his latest bullshit on LinkedIn.”

“I’m listening,” Klaus says, smiling with amusement as you kneel up on the bed, getting carried along by your own vision.

“And I just happen to have an interest in taking JUICED down. Maybe it’s just coincidence that this amazing business guru I follow on Linkedin just happened to work there, but maybe it isn’t. Maybe I am sort of blowing smoke up his ass.”

“Hm,” Klaus says, approvingly. “Drama. Intrigue. Color me titillated.”

“But he’s gonna admire that, because it’s what he’d want to do in my situation. And once it’s all over, I’m gonna be just so grateful to him and who knows what might happen, right?”

You finish with an expressive wiggle of the eyebrows.

“You think it’ll work,” Klaus asks, interested and still amused. 

“I’m almost sure it will,” you say, confidently. 

“Then let’s do it!” he says, with an enthusiastic flourish.

“Yes!” you say, leaning over to hug him, triumphantly.

Klaus squeezes you back and you hug him to you fiercely, feeling your heart race with excitement. 

This feels so good: his affirmation, his eagerness; it’s refreshing to feel that someone believes in you. For this moment, you’re not the girl who needed Five’s help to limp up the Academy steps after Micheal Monre’s attack; you’re not a beloved but fragile caged bird; you’re an independent woman capable of huge things. 

Fuck Five. Fuck him and his inability to see that.

Neither of you hear the door open.

“Hi.”

Five’s voice comes from the doorway, where he’s been standing for the last few seconds.

“It’s nice to see you two getting along so well.”

You break apart and face Five, standing in the doorway. Klaus, deliberately ignoring the tension in Five’s attitude, holds out his arms smilingly.

“Wanna join the hug-fest, grandpa?”

“No thank you,” Five says, smiling coldly before turning to you, “I was just wondering when you were planning to go to bed.”

You look down at your computer’s clock as you subtly close all the tabs related to JUICED employees. 

“It’s later than I thought,” you say, calmly, as if your entire plan couldn't have been blown out of the water a few seconds ago,“I’ll probably come now, actually. Got work in the morning.”

You close the computer, tuck it under your arm and take your final beer with you. 

“See you tomorrow Klaus.”

“Bye babe,” Klaus replies. 

His mischief-filled eyes meet Five’s suspicious and resentful ones. He gives him a knowing grin as he closes the door behind you both.

You didn’t speak to Five very much as you changed into your nightclothes. You could feel his eyes upon you, but you didn’t acknowledge his obvious displeasure. 

Now, he stands somewhat awkwardly, still fully dressed and watching you as you prepare for bed. Eventually, he speaks. 

“So, you and Klaus are getting close, I see.”

For a split second, you think he means getting close to taking down JUICED but, recovering yourself, you make a small noise in the affirmative. “Yes, I like him. He’s very-”

You search for a descriptor that toes the line between truth and cutting passive aggression.

“-open hearted.”

A small pause in which Five puts his hands in his pockets, lips thin.

“Yeah. Klaus is open to everything,” he mutters, darkly.

You don’t indulge him by giving him the enquiry this speech asks for. He waits expectantly for a couple of moments while you busy yourself at the desk. It’s now doing double duty as a dressing table since you moved in and you’re doing an unnecessary level of skincare, just to show him that he doesn’t have your full attention.

“What do you and Klaus talk about?” he says, with just-contained impatience.

“Oh, you know.” you say, absently, “Everything and anything.”

Five bristles. You can’t help but take pleasure in this, keeping information from him instead of the other way around. Unable to resist the petty victory, you push it further.

“It’s nice to just talk, you know?” you say, combing your hair in the mirror and subtly watching his face reflected there. You can see the effect your words are having on him. His lips get even thinner and his posture more restless.

“Glad to hear it,” he says, tersely. 

Abruptly, he turns away and begins to remove his clothes. He tosses his head to shake his hair out of his eyes with unnecessary force; a vent for his feelings. It gives you a little twinge of satisfaction.

As he changes into his pajamas, you continue to take your time with a drawn-out pre-bedtime ritual. Soon, as he fastens the final buttons on his shirt, he blurts out: “If you pay Klaus too much attention, he’ll be all over you. Show him any affection and he’ll hang on like a goddamn limpet.”

You laugh disdainfully. 

“Better than being so far up your own ass that you can’t share anything.”

“And what exactly have you been sharing with my brother?” he shoots back.

“An honest and open relationship,” you reply, with dignity.

“Are you fucking him?” he says, so quietly that you almost don’t hear him. 

Your head turns in his direction so fast that you nearly injure your neck.

“I’m sorry?” you say, scandalized. 

“Are you fucking my brother?” he repeats, slowly and deliberately. His eyes drill into your own, full of suspicion and angry intensity. 

You feel an angry chill wash down your body. You return his piercing gaze with an icy one of your own. 

“I’m going to give you one chance to take that question back, Five.”

There are a few moments of tension in which your eyes do battle. Eventually, Five shifts his gaze. 

“Okay. I take it back.”

You give a humorless laugh. This disavowal doesn’t satisfy you like you thought it would.

You cross to the bed and get beneath the sheets in a deliberate manner, laying your claim. If he’s going to throw accusations like that around, then he can be the one to sleep in a spare bedroom. He’s always saying this is your home too, so maybe he ought to prove it. 

Voice shaking with anger, you speak, trying to catch his still averted eyes.

“You don’t have to be fucking someone to be open with them. Just like how you feel like you don’t have to be open with me even though we’re fucking-”

“Alright. You made your point.” he interrupts, “Just forget I said that, okay?”

He sits on the edge of the bed, facing away from you. After a beat, he rubs his hands uncomfortably on his thighs.

“I didn’t- I’m sorry, I’m just stressed.”

Beneath the sheets, your fists ball tightly as he continues:

“I’m…this whole thing…I don’t like you and I being like this. I-”

You interrupt him, anger bursting its bounds again.

“Have you thought about how this would look to an outsider? It would look pretty bad, right?”

He doesn’t respond.

“A guy in his sixties dating a woman in her twenties, patronizing her, keeping things from her… isolating her by accusing her of cheating when she pays any man but him positive attention.”

You can’t see his face, but you continue, taking savage pleasure in deliberately prodding at his sore-spots.

“If I heard that story, I’d be telling that woman to leave. I’d tell her he’s a controlling, abusive, coercive old-”

There’s a pregnant pause in the wake of this speech. You don’t finish the sentence, finding no suitable epithet, but the quality of the silence tells you that it hit home regardless. 

Five blinks, smarting. He can feel trembling, painful energy in his chest. If you had set out to find the worst thing you could accuse him of, you could not have been more successful.

Coercive?

It was said to get to him, he knows that. He knows you don’t fully mean it, but the implications dig into some of his darkest insecurities, threatening to open doors he thought were firmly closed in his mind. 

When he speaks, his voice is shaky, higher than usual.

“That hurts.”

“Yeah…well.” you say, already regretting your overstatement of the case, “it hurts me when you act this way.”

Firmly, he turns his attention from the implications of that word. It will do no good to dwell on it. He can only hope that at least explaining part of why will do enough for you.

Now, he turns to you, eyes laden with such an appeal that your stomach squirms uncomfortably. 

“I need to keep you safe,” he whispers, “I just…my life…it’s dangerous and if you got hurt then I’d-”

He breaks off, not able to finish the thought.

He never told you what happened with Micheal Monroe the first time; never told you the full truth. Perhaps he should have. Maybe then you’d understand. 

Monroe shot you at point blank range: an unsurvivable injury. A single blast and you were gone, just like that. Snuffed out.

Your body was tied to an upturned chair, badly beaten. After the gunshot, you barely had anything that could be described as a face, your brain little more than mush splattered across the apartment floor. The coppery smell of organ-meat was still far too easy to recall to his nostrils. 

With difficulty, he turned back time the ten seconds or so it would take to save your life, but that couldn’t stop the scene recurring in his mind. 

In the days following, during your unconsciousness, he relied on drugs to stay awake, just in case you needed his abilities again. It was an eight days that, for him, blended into one, interminable, feverish period. It was worse than any of the nightmares where decimated buildings became echoing, never-ending Commission halls.

Now, his head in his hands, he lets out a long, shaky breath. 

You sit up in bed and place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. One of his hands gropes its way blindly towards it and he holds on desperately, gratefully.

After a few moments, you withdraw your hand and lie down on the bed, facing away from him.

“Goodnight, Five,” you say.

“Goodnight, dear,” comes the reply.

Masterpost Alternatively, join me on AO3.  Here is a link to the whole series