#have for like 4 and a half weeks or some shit. im lucky if the ''worst'' is length of time im sick. ill take that anytime over ''worst''
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me: constantly cracks jokes about how disabled/chronically-ill sickly i am
also me: surprised pikachu face when i get regular-illness-sick ontop of my usual-sick (as if im not suspected to be somewhere on the spectrum of immunocompromised) "this should be illegal"
#got a covid test: oncE AGAIN IM NEGATIVE BABY WOHOO THANK FUCK BC NOBODY THINKS ITD BE A GOOD IDEA IF I GOT COVID EVEN ONCE#BC MY LUCK WITH SICKNESS??? ID PROBABLY GET SOMETHING CHRONIC FROM IT FOREVERMORE AND MAYBE BE HOSPITALIZED AND ITD FUCK WITH MY DOCTORS#TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME PRE-HYPOTHETICAL-COVID WITH THE HYPOTHETICAL-COVID NOW MUDDYING THEIR VISION OF SHIT. YAAYYY#but also everytime i get sick?? i seriously get the worst versions of it just short of hospitalization (but still needing a doctor appt to#verify i dont need to be hospitalized). if im lucky? ''the worst'' will mean a cold everyone else in the house has for 2 days is one i will#have for like 4 and a half weeks or some shit. im lucky if the ''worst'' is length of time im sick. ill take that anytime over ''worst''#being worst symptoms omfg.. but yeah we think its just a cold rn and im on Day 1. and we know i caught it from my brother who is a prof#so. thank fuck it wasnt like a student gave him and then me covid or something. thatd fucking suck. but no its just a cold. thank god#wEAR YOUR MASKS TO CLASS#but yeah rn its just Heavy Head + runny nose + sore throat. so im okay. ill have to take another covid test in a few days tho bc docs#say to take it multiple times while youre sick UGGGHHH whatever its fiiinneeee i just wish more people wore their masks bc like??#im already nigh-agoraphobic by nature of disability. like. please wear your masks so you dont get me sick since im not gonna get me sick#bc now i got all my usual sickliness (cough + nausea + temp dysregulation + migraines + pain+ etc) AND ALSO this shit (heavy head +#runny nose + sore throat) like??? cool im like ×500 more miserable than any able-bodied person with a cold you guys tHANKS A LOT 🥺😭💀#me
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holy fuck it’s been a minute since i posted!
almost 1600 days as a matter of fact aka almost 4 and a half years. my last post was early december of 2019, so like 3 months before life as we knew it ended.
tldr at the end!
this blog was largely based around the adhd experience in school, so some school updates!
i was a senior in 2020 so i “graduated” that may and my entire first year and a half of college was 100% online so that was certainly…interesting. second semester of sophomore year they reintroduced a couple of in person classes, mainly ones where zoom was impractical to use, such as my ASL classes. so i was one of the first students back on campus and that was cool but also horrible and extremely stressful and difficult to navigate. i was already struggling with my grades but that just made it worse. i started failing classes left and right, and basically failed my entire junior year first semester. second semester junior year i had just completely given up but was still taking classes to please other people, i enjoyed the actual learning between my two degrees but i just couldn’t keep up with school and everything else in my life. and then this last fall i had signed up for classes two weeks into the semester bc i was originally planning to take the semester off so i was extremely behind….and then two weeks after that i found out i had to move to a different state and ended up having to drop my classes anyways.
that break really forced me to slow down not just in school but all aspects of life. i got “settled” about halfway through october just to have to spend about 50-60% of the next 5 months traveling to and from home and my new state for many reasons. as it stands currently, unless i wish to pay out of state tuition i have to wait until about february or march of 2025 before i can get enrolled in a local university.
HOWEVER, i have decided and am actively looking into EMT schools for the summer and am currently looking for a second job in order to save up for that and im extremely excited about it! ill finish those degrees later lmao.
now, for the not school related life update that will show yall just why i was gone!
as many of yall may know i was diagnosed with adhd at 16, so in 2018, and had just been figuring a bit of it out when i started this blog. i was working and going to school and dealing with a lot at home but it was manageable for awhile. junior year was stressful and then i got extremely sick right around when i stopped posting so i had ended up taking some time off from content in order to focus on that. then covid hit and my life completely crumbled. i was already in online school so i didn’t have to slow down or wait for my school to figure stuff out and was able to finish business as usual. i was living at the time, with my grandparents, mom, sisters, and brother in one house, so it was always chaotic but being stuck in the house became a nightmare. lots and lots of family drama came from that and we were all stuck there because of how at risk both my grandparents and mom were.
the summer rolls around and i end up finally able to leave the house and get another job. it was a shit job but it got me out of the house so that was worth it. my “best friend” and i had been searching for apartments together so id needed to save money and was actively buying things and scheduling tours until she told me with less than a weeks notice that she was moving states and shortly after that basically quit acknowledging my existence. between family stuff, struggling with the start of college online, and then that i was not doing well mentally. i was lucky enough to have a couple friends that saw this and made sure to constantly keep checking on me and getting me out of the house more and more.
and then we moved. my mom, sisters and i started looking for a new place to live winter of 2020. my health had also taken a serious toll. i couldn’t even sit up in bed without feeling dizzy and was fainting regularly and had to quit my job because it got so bad. january 6th i got a call from my dr to go to the er immediately after she got some lab results back (i watched the capitol riot live on tv in the waiting room!) and was hospitalized for a few days after that. i got released and that next day we toured a house and it ended up being the one we bought.
within a month we were moving into the new house, school was kicking my ass, and i was still struggling physically and it had taken an even bigger toll on my mental health.
at the end of my freshman year i got a puppy and he and my friend genuinely saved my life. that summer, our family dog passed extremely unexpectedly and i had to pay all the vet bills for that and it really damaged my finances. my brother moved in and my life got worse again. and then we rescued a 3 week old kitten and couple months later i started another job. and then quit that job because my health was declining once again.
spring of the next year my sister and i got a job at the same place, and life seemed to start to steady minus my failing every class i took and my mental and physical health continuing to decline.
by fall of that year, after a lot of struggling throughout the family and a lot of other issues, we collectively agreed we had no choice but to send my brother rehab. he went, got out, immediately relapsed and we decided he had to go live with his biological father. i was thrilled because my brother genuinely abused me and then i adopted another kitten for my birthday that year.
this situation led my mother and his father to reconnecting and a month later they were engaged, they got married about 6 months later and had a long distance marriage of my mom traveling back and forth between him and my brother and the rest of the family.
about 4 months later my best friend moved states and it really sucked. and then another couple months passed and we found out that despite my working 60+ hours a week on top of school, i wasn’t going to be able to make ends meet anymore as we lost one source of income that had been what we needed to make ends meet each month.
so we moved my sisters into our grandparents house again since they wanted to stay in that state to finish school as they had less than a year left, i packed my stuff and my pets and after months of wondering what i was going to do a room at the house my moms husband/his parents and family/my brother opened up and my brothers grandparents were gracious enough to let me move in without having to pay rent. apparently i was a better option than the alternative. my mom conintued to split her time between here and back home.
i unexpectedly had to make a trip with my best friend back home as an old friend had passed and we wanted to attend the funeral so we went home for a couple days. a week later i was back home once again for thanksgiving and birthdays during which i was present at the mall for black friday shopping w mom and grandma and experienced a mass shooting. and then thought my sister was shopping at the same mall w her boyfriend and damn near was running back in while on the phone with them when he corrected her and told me they were at the other mall……not at all traumatizing. and again three weeks later for christmas. january i was job searching and got a job early february…just to have to, you guessed it, make another emergency trip home! my sister had gotten into a snowboarding accident so we flew my mom back there that day and the next day my sister stopped breathing because she was medically overdosed so that was a very traumatic call to get. my best friend flew me back home about a week after her accident to help out, god bless him for buying the plane tickets and my boss for hiring me and immediately letting me leave town!
while back home, my other sister got engaged, and a month later we went on a family vacation. i’m now back at my new house again, planning my next trip back home for my sisters wedding in less than a month, and a second trip later in that same month for their graduation.
seriously, bless my boss for being so insanely understanding and flexible.
throughout all this time my grandpa has had a handful of major health scares so that’s been a constant concern. but they are moving out here after my sisters graduate! and my sister that isn’t getting married is going to school in another state, and the one getting married will obviously be moving in with her soon to be husband.
hopefully i’ll have a second job by early june, and will be able to save enough to start EMT classes by august.
i don’t know how i would’ve made it through the last few years without the friends i have. they’re genuinely the best people i know. and of course my dog and cats, my babies, the reason i get out of bed.
so, if you read that far, first of all, congratulations bc that was a lot! and second, if you think that was bad, just know i was only scratching the surface! yay me…
tldr: life has actually sucked so insanely bad the last 4.5 years and it is from the combined effort of a miracle from God and a couple of ridiculous lot stubborn friend and my pets (and multiple therapists! sandra, natasha, kennedy if you see this, you the real ones!) that i’m still here.
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My First Post (intro); TW: drug use & addiction.
sigh I always start things i don't finish, so this blog will probably be just another unfinished project that i forget about in a month. Sorry for the pessimistic outlook- it's a big habit of mine. Along with many more. This is going to be a semi long intro so bare with me.
So let's start this out typical. Hi my name is Sam and i'm an addict. Going on 8 years now. It's probably more like 10..ish. I say 8 though because there was a point in between using for fun and needing to use daily without getting sick, where i was sober for like a little over a year. So 8 years works for me.
Choice of drug: heroin, opiates, and most recently the antagonist in this story- fentanyl. Which is quite ironic i phrase it that way because they use antagonists to reverse the effects of opioids. If i had a choice, i would have never started using fet at all but these days that i all one can find. Besides that flesh eating shit, don't get me started on that lmfao. I have been lucky enough to not run into it- yet. Plus i don't shoot (i am terrified of needles) i snort. So my skin is safe for now lol. I also have been lucky enough to have never overdosed. Or die in that case. So praise the lawd.
Let's cover recent events that made me start this blog. About a month ago i entered a detox facility about 3 hours from where i live. I drove myself and stayed for a little over 5 days. Then left. All of you reading are probably like WHAT THE FUCK BRUH you were sooo close. Trust me i know. There was alot that happened there that was so unhealthy and ill make a post about all that shit later, but to sum up how i felt there besides sick from withdrawals, i felt like a damn science experiment.
Cut to two days later me wanting them to take me back and they wouldn't unless i started on suboxone (which i didnt want to again ill explain more about all this in another post). This time my parents drove me fucking 3 hours there and back for nothing. About a week or so later i entered a rehab facility 4 and a half hours from where i live. I drove myself again. I was under the assumption it would be guys and girls (it wasn't). There were alot more things i assumed and it wasn't the case. This will also be another post. But i left 24 hours in due to safety issues and drugs literally in the facility. Which was partially my fault.
Okay so my recovery hasn't been so good. I am currently using still and felt overwhelmed for about a whole month. I kept telling myself okay i will call the new rehab tomorrow. Then tomorrow turned into a month. I didn't even realize i was doing it until a month went by.
I have found a new detox facility a bit closer to home..2 hours lmao. I live in the middle of nowhere btw. So 2 hours is nothing, i drive two hours to get my fix every week so.. no big deal. Except this one was super hard to find because the name of it wasn't anything to do with detox or heroin or ya know. I'm not sure if i am going to be accepted or if they have an opening yet because i haven't called. And im not going to until i have everything in my life in order. They also have a really nice rehab that IS coed. It's also not in a hospital, its more holistic.
So that is where im at currently. I probably will call them on monday or tuesday of next week. I had to get some cash together, my clothes washed and packed, and i also had some random shit coming in the mail that i knew would get stolen if i didnt wait. But for the most part- everything is in order. So next week i could be getting clean again for the 4th time.
So this is me. Im sam. Which i should mention isn't really my name haha. But it is my favorite name. Always love samantha from totally spies. Maybe when i start getting clean and actually have more than 5 days, i will reveal my ugly mug. Thought about starting a tiktok but who knows. Social media has never really been my thing. But you know that because im literally starting a blog on tumblr i 2023 lmfao.
Anyways, sorry for the horrible format. Just kind of writing this spur of the moment. Just wanted to introduce myself. This blog will be about my sobriety journey with no fucking bullshit. That's one thing i hate. When people get clean and they pull the omggg jesus saved me. Or they get clean and forget that dirty part of themselves. I never want to forget this part of me because it's made me who i am. I will never be ashamed of that.
Talk soon. Please be safe out there. Message me if you need anything. It gets better.
xoxo sam
#Addiction#heroin#drugs#tw drugs#sex and drugs#drugs cw#drugs mention#alcohol#smoking#sober#soberlife#clean and sober#sober thoughts#soberliving#sobriety#recovery#healing journey#alcoholism#it gets better#tw addiction#substance use#cw drug use#tw alcohol#self pitty#love#intervention#A&E intervention#drug rehab#drug detox#medicine
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last updated
1.
“amelie” - last updated 3/30/23 at 10:31
likes
- when songs blend into each other
- untangling necklaces
- restoration videos
- doorbells that play songs
dislikes
- when previously melted popcorn butter hardens
- when people laugh or talk at the end of songs
- restoration vids that r actually transformation
- when musical movies have less/no songs in the second half
2.
“now twitter” - last updated 3/30/23 at 17:03
3/28
- dunkin is very hit or miss. luckily for both of us i will take whatever is given to me in any situation ever. - 07:59
- i’m a good kid just mentally disturbed - 9:49
- why is it always hot as balls in [building] i am DYING! - 9:57
3.
“lyrics” - last updated 3/28/23 at 21:06
are you there? - sbd
- “is there anyone in the audience currently living in vain?”
nights - frank ocean
- “wanna see nirvana but don’t wanna die”
4.
“band names” - last updated 4/2/23 at 17:04
i called it
señor manatee
morph suit with the genitals cut out
western haircut
vape gosh
car moth
snail gunk shoes
banana fever
radiobread
nonconsensual gymnastics routine
goodbye endemic fish
uneven sunburn
bread zeppelin
phoebe breadgers
self-imposed bald spot
turtle crossing
5.
“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 1/3)
i really only wake up to go back to sleep again
i dont wanna leave my house because then i have to put on clothes and look at my body. i hate watching tiktok because i see other people’s bodies and hate mine. i hate existing
do you ever yearn to be loved by someone that doesn’t exist so badly that your body aches. do you ever ever want to pull out ur hair bc ur so ashamed of your own thoughts that you cant exist
6.
“dreams” - last updated 2/2/23 at 06:27
night of 12/22/22
[person 1] and [person 2] shit themselves. it seemed to be a reoccurring event bc [freshman year teacher], [person 3], and [person 4] were disappointed
7.
“try god: 1060 AM” - last updated 3/10/23 at 19:36
(is an atheist station)
9/16/19 : 2
11/5/19 : 1
12/5/19: 1
1/14/20 : 1
5/24/21: 1
7/28/21: 1
8/12/21: 1
9/3/21: 1
12/29/21: 1 (roche bros [town] parking lot)
9/23/22: 1
3/9/23: 1 (the bitch had like 2 stickers tho!!!)
8.
“hm” - last updated 1/22/23 at 22:57
“i’m not like you, other people’s problems don’t make me feel better” - [redacted]
9.
“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 2/3)
how the fuck do candles burn out the wax doesn’t evaporate right
welcome to the achery, what can i get u? vomit, comin right up!
the world is made of orbits
the moon around the earth
the earth around the sun
our solar system around the middle
even little galaxies orbit around ours
i suppose that even we, as people,
orbit too
i like to think
that i orbit around you
10.
“i miss all the angel numbers and i keep getting mad bc i dont have to a reason to keep thinking of u” - last updated 3/4/23 at 13:09
people kinda just age out of me.
11.
untitled - last updated 3/28/22 at 10:46
i dont know what to write. i dont wanna seem like im not workin gbut i just…. cant do this right now. i had to walk to school today and i wanted to die. i mean realistically thats not truly a bad thing. the walk is like ten minutes and its in Rennes and im lucky to be here and to be able to walk and go to school and breathe clean air and whatnot. but im so tired. so tired. it took my nearly an hour to pick out my clothes today. i decided on a shirt and jeans that dont look good together at all and that are half dry bc the dryer just does not work in this house for some damn reason and its fucking annoying. i did my makeup because i was looking atrocious- my hair was wet because i finally got myself to shower after god knows how long (less than a week i presume - i think i last showered the weekend before this week?) and the lack of shape to my hair and the weird way my face looks after i wake up or shower or do anything made me need to sit down and inevitably still be upset when its over. i dreamt that i saw [redacted #2]. it was another one of those dreams where theres a big storm or tsunami or combination of the two and we all had to huddle in a school building that looks kind of like this one but not really. i was so excited to see her and i almost cried in my dream. but i barely saw her for the rest of the dream, she was off with [redacted #3] and her other friends and not me. i was left behind. they left without me. i’m not mad at her for this because she hasnt done this to me yet but i know she will so i guess im preemptively sad and mad and upset even though i have no reason to be and thats not fair to her. i am at myself and the person in front of me and how she treats me like im stupid and i dont want to be stupid and i know im not stupid but there is nothing i can do. i know that seems dramatic. “nothing i can do.” there is. there probably is. i really hope there is but at the same time i hope there isnt because then its true. i am stupid. i do get my work done or at least the work i know that i need to get done and my grades are fine i have like a 3.67 unweighted which isnt great but not like awful. i know i could do better. i know i could work harder. i have worked harder before but its gone now and shes gone now and im gone now. im gone now. im gone now.
12.
“favs” - last updated 3/18/22 at 15:19
bc i always seem to forget
music
dirty computer - janelle monae
sawdust - the killers
sgt peppers lonely heart club band - the beatles
rubber soul - the beatles
stranger in the alps - phoebe bridgers
apricot princess - rex orange county
punisher - phoebe bridgers
ow - pom pom squad
turkey dinner - pinky pinky
death of a cheerleader- pom pom squad
13.
“list of issues (current)” - last updated 8/17/22 at 07:46
- [ ] chronic/crippling fear of death (usually intrusive)
- [ ] shortness of breath/high resting heart rate
- [ ] trouble sleeping (falling asleep, keepingg eyelids closed, fear of dreams [lack of control], fear of unconsciousness)
- [ ] usually naseous or having abdominal issues
- [ ] head hurts all the time
- [ ] lack of control with my thoughts
- [ ] depression :( - am i taking too much of my meds?
14.
untitled - last updated 9/7/21 at 06:51
ah oui!! désolé, j’avais fatigué donc j’ai oublié envoyer un text. on est en bus et on va arriver à 15:16
merci pour ce skype!!! j’ai aimé faire de connaissance de votre famille :) j’étais enthousiaste d’aller avant mais maintenant je suis plus enthousiaste (j’ai pensé que c’est ne pas possible!). mes parents se sentent impatients à l’idée que je vais habiter avec vous. je ne peux pas attendre pour vous rencontrer en personne!!!
15.
“grocery list” - last updated 6/7/21 at 10:37
- [x] watermelon
- [ ] orange juice
- [ ] plants
- [ ] ice
- [ ] muffins
- [ ]
16.
“bus writing assignment” - last updated 10/19/21 at 18:05
-doja cat plays
-everyone is on their phone, with wired headphones
-old bus or new? blue model with the facing hanging handicapped seats
-new bus, c3
-woman quiet her phone
-baby blows bubbles than screams, a child laughs
-people look up as siren passes
-12 year olds laugh and play hand games in the back
-girl with dyed hair (color i want)
-its so hot, holding my bag
-i can hear music of man standing near me
- vaguely familiar man walks in
- office man
- u express bag reminds me of my own
-- woman stands to get off, holding an umbrella, clear with ocean designs (why does she have umbrella? its sunny? i have an umbrella but its new. shes holding it like its fragile bht not new)
- almost miss my stop once i realize i dont know where i am
- lost in writing
- nvm got off one too early
- ill walk ig
17.
“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 3/3)
i agree with the catholics sometimes
like when they mention gay people
and get that look in their eyes
i tilt my head down in shame
but i also put my head down to pray
/
i don’t know if being gay is a sin
but it sure as hell is a punishment
i wonder if future me is looking at me now
crying on the bus, mask soaked with tears
i know she is, because can feel her holding me
i feel her hug and her tears on my shoulders
i hope she’s happy in the way i want to be
18.
untitled - last updated 9/19/19 at 07:58
kantism: you must follow your moral code always with no exceptions, which is defined as something that is good in all situations (intent matters, impact does a bit).
utilitarianism: do what makes the most people happy (intent doesn’t matter, impact does). morality is defined by amount of happiness.
contractialism: if you agree to a contract, explicit or not, you must follow it. while the contract may not benefit you at all times, it is better than living in a world of “natural law”, a world with no contracts and no security.
virtue theory: if we try to be good people, good actions will follow (good intent = good impact). everyone should be good people because it is in our nature, it is our function. you are good if you fulfill your function and bad if you do not
natural law theory: god gave us the ability to be good
#free form writing#writing#free form#creative writing#unedited#zuihitsu#Spotify#excerpts from my notes app#notes app poetry#poetry#alex g#east coast by alex g#the skin cells band#east coast by the skin cells
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im so tired of all this brain fog like im Fighting to do a fun lil organizing project on a saturday.. I havent Done anything today!! im tired! My bf is out of town and when that happens i either do 70 chores or get really depressed. today is attempting to do chores but also feeling the weight of my body in every step. i found some picture frames the last landlord/owner/housemate left though so i put up some lil A5 cute prints i got
My knee got hurt 3 weeks ago and im still not really ok yet but i can walk from the train station to work reliably now, and im nearly losing my cane in the lab bc i dont need it for every step lol. i use it all day at work bc i get nearly 10000 steps in every single workday and that hurts by the time i get home if i dont.
I have my top surgery soon! in a month and a half :]
but that means i dont really have enough PTO to feel right scheduling a neurology appointment that i got a referral for. I. dont knw when I would do it? maybe if i can get really lucky i could get it in 3 to 4 weeks. I've been doing a couple diary reads to see if i talk about headaches / brainfog symptoms ever. I found an entry from uh maybe aug 2019 talking about "being dizzy for no reason even though i had a lot of water" but i was in a really bad mental place then. so i could have been all sorts of chronic sleep deprived and shit.
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HEY HEY HEY !!! ALL PEOPLE WRITING SIBLINGS HERE ARE THINGS ME AND SIBLINGS DO TO ADD THAT FUN SIBLING BOND
1. the room thing where you open the door, stare at your sibling for like a minute, they ask what the fuck are you doing ? and then leave. but leaving the door open to inconvenience them
2. dumb lies to each other, my older sister and i will gang up on our younger sister and try to convince her of random stuff that happened.
3. lie together! we all band together to lie to our parents <33 about dumb stuff or serious stuff
4. steal clothes
5. threaten each other with the nearest object. better if object is a food
6. be honest. like mean honest. like stuff you’d never say to your friends… stuff that would ruin friendships. the meanest shit tbh and then after you say it: laugh
7. hate on their friends. cuz sometimes they have awful friends and i need them to know that i don’t like their friend
8. fight over food related things. ex. theres only enough milk for one glass, theres only one strawberry left, there arent any marshmallows in the lucky charms… stuff like that
9. when they annoy you steal a random item for like two weeks and then put it back where you stole it from just to fuck with them but never tell them you stole it so they just think they’re stupid
10. fight over what food to buy when planning groceries
11. getting ready for bed and fighting for who gets to use the sink first/shower first
12. getting home from a long drive and racing to the bathroom and yelling when they get there first and then having to run to the other bathroom which is like on the opposite side of the house and upstairs
13. discussing something peacefully in your room with them then randomly getting annoyed and saying, “okay you have to leave now im tired” and them getting really offended.
14. inside jokes!
15. looking at each other when someone says something stupid
16. mishearing each other. my siblings and i tend to have conversations likes through different rooms so we usually mishear and have to repeat stuff, which also leads to argue and frustration bcuz none us like to repeat ourselves
17. my younger sister hates going downstairs by herself so she constantly comes into my room and like stands there in the dark while im half asleep like : will you come get food with me ? and if i don’t go with her she leaves my door open so i have to get up anyways
18. making a mean joke and them not having the same energy back and then you know you hurt their feelings so you have to be like, do you wanna get food? i’ll pay, and them be really nice on the car ride until they’re joking again
19. when our parents are being unfair to one us and the others stand up for us… alternatively tho the betrayal of when my parents argue with me and my sisters side with them
20. arguing about whos the favorite child. me saying, “its probably not me” and them immediately agreeing
21. second hand therapy from our older sister who goes to therapy and shes like yeah so my therapist and i talked about this and i also felt like you guys would benefit bc its about mom and dad and then revealing some random trauma we all forgot about and being like yeah that was fucked up !
#writing#writing prompts#prompts#writing siblings#siblings#writing stuff#writers#authors#sibling dynamics#long post#i think long post?#idk
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Im on the team pt - 4
Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3
Haikyuu x ftm reader
Summery: 1st day of the training camp
When we came back for the longer training camp I was much more relaxed. Last time it was only one night but just a few weeks later and were back. Everyone’s been starting to try new things, I think last training camp had everyone realizing we don’t match up at all. Iv been working with Noya a bit more on receiving and everything a libero does as well as working with Tanaka on spiking. But the most interesting thing Iv been doing is helping Kagayama out, he’s working on a new kind of set and asked me if I would throw for him one day after practice, I was hanging back a bit myself just not wanting to leave the gym and so I decided to help him out. I’m seeing a new side to him I didn’t know, I’m used to seeing him as the perfect setter like he could do anything, but seeing him struggling and frustrated is new. The day before we left for training camp we were practicing his set and he got angrier then I had ever seen him, he threw the ball and shouted.
“Ahhhhhh! Why can’t I get it!”
I’m immediately on the ground trying to figure out what to do to help calm him down, but the only thing I can think of that he likes is volleyball. Sooo
“Kageyama!” He pauses to look at me, “umm I was wondering if you wanted to take a break from your set and maybe help me with mine instead.” I guess that got him to pause since he was now just looking at me, “is just Iv been wanting to work on it for a while now but it’s just, your so good at it and I just wanted to ask for some pointers, and it just seems like you could use a break so.” His breathing has started to even out a bit more, he looks a bit caught off guard.
“Ughh yeah I can do that.” So for the next half hour we worked ok my set, I made sure to praise and complement him on his set to make sure he knew how talented he was, I’m sure working so hard on a set and not being able to get it is really frustrating. After a while we were both tired so we moved to sit down drinking our water in silence.
“Thank you for helping me out, and you know for calming me down.” His voice got quieter as the sentence went on but I understood what he was getting at.
“It’s all good kageyama. I bet it’s frustrating.” He looks over at me and we make eye contact, it’s nice.
“Iv always been able to get it, and I just haven’t had to do something new like that in a while.”
“I know it’s frustrating, and I know I don’t know a lot about volleyball but even I know your one of the most talented players, you’ll get it, it’s just going to take a bit of time.”
“Thanks (Y/N)”
I smile over at him happy I could help in anyway, he pulls out his phone to check the time, “holy shit it’s late.” I look over at his phone and realize it’s 12:30 already!
“Oh wow.” Kagayama looks over at me and we start laughing, both realizing how wild it is that we stayed here for that long, “oh my god our buss to head to training camp is going to be here is like 4 hours!” Kagayama starts laughing louder.
“Holy shut we should head home huh?!” Both of us calm down our giggles before moving to walk home, we walk mostly together till we half to part ways, “well I’ll see you in a few hours Kags.”
He smiles at me a little “yeah I’ll see you in a few hours.” And with that we split ways.
It’s before the sun comes up that we have to be at the busses so naturally everyone is very tired. I meet Tsuki and Yams there but once Kagayama shows up I move over to him, he’s looking through his bag and so I ask “making sure you packed everything?” He look up startled but his gaze softens when he sees it’s me, “yeah after how late we got home last night I didn’t really have time to pack properly.” I giggle at him, “lucky I pack like a week in advance.” He chuckles “maybe I should start doing that to huh.” Coach gives a little speech and tells us all to get on the bus, I was originally planning on sitting wish Tsuki and Yams but they ended up sitting together and Kags asked if I wanted to sit with him so that’s what I did. Not long into the drive I ended up falling asleep with my head on Kagayamas shoulder, and he fell asleep with his on my head. But we were rudely awoken by Daichi “come on idiots were here.” I know I have a massive blush in my face so I get up and move to get off the bus quickly, I hear Daichi chuckle at us but ignore it and move quickly, one off the bus I move to find Tsuki and Yams, “so I see you’ve become friends with the king?” Tsuki says skeptically, “oh shut it Tsuki.” Yams laughs at us as we see Nekoma come out to greet us.
I walk over to where Kenma is talking to Hinata excited to see him again since we talked a bit at the last training camp and he seems super cool, “hey Kenma!” He looks away from Hinata and smiles at me “hey (Y/N), I was just talking to Hinata about the camp.”
“Oh yeah! It’s in a different place, do you know why?” Kenma chuckles at that question “yeah it’s a bigger space and a bit cooler here, but there’s a lot of bugs.”
“Fuck I should have brought bug spray.”
“It’s ok you can use mine if you wanna,” he says smiling a bit.
“Are you sure that would be ok?”
“Yeah I don’t mind!”
“Thanks Kennma.” I smile at him but the moment is cut short by a super tall guy yelling over at Hinata “hey did you grow taller yet?!” The two start bickering and I give Kenma a surprised look,
“that’s Lev, he’s the new kid for us.”
I giggle at the distressed look he gets looking over at the tall kid.
“I’m guessing he’s...a lot.”
“How’d you know?”
“I mean he did interrupt our conversation by yelling at Hinata about his height.” Kenma laughs at that.
“So (Y/N) you play any video games?” Me and Kenma talked the entire walk to Karasanos room, finding we have quite a bit in common, from our love of the same video games to our inability to sleep most nights. He’s nice to talk to, his calm and quiet tone is relaxing to listen to and his more subtle demeanor is cute.
We all put our bags in the room and got ready for our first game today. I didn’t play in the first few, but after a couple they switched me into the libero spot for a while and then I played middle blocker. We aren’t doing too good tho, haven’t won a single game, and after the 8th time doing the run for the loosing team I think I’m gunna die. When the end of the day came around we all collapsed after our last run.
“Ughhh I don’t think I can breath” I hear tanaka yell.
“We lost every game, how’d we lose every game.” Suga asked
We looked into the gym to watch the one game that’s still going, we are nowhere near that level. Daichi sits up and says he’s going to work on the synchronized attack, so everyone started to scatter.
I look over and see Tsuki walking away from the gym most of our team was using and Yams yells over at him “you aren’t going to practice Tsuki?” Tsuki turns around “no, we practice enough already.” And starts walking away, I knew Yams was probably itching to go practice his serve so I tell him, “go, I’ll follow the giraffe.” He smiles gratefully at me and I starts chasing after the blond boy.
“Tsuki wait up!” He doesn’t turn around so I start running faster till I catch up with him. “ughhh why are your legs so long!”
“There not that long yours are just short.”
We pause for a moment, it’s awkward. Me and Tsuki have never had an awkward moment, I don’t like it.
“Aren’t you going to practice?”
“No, we do that enough, everyday for hours we practice, I’m done for the night.”
I’m so lost on what to do at this point, I want him to come practice but I can’t force him too,
“Hey glasses kid,” I hear a voice say and turn around Tsuki stopping in his place, “oh and (Y/N)” it’s Kuroo from Nekoma.
“You guys wanna come practice with us? We could use another blocker!” I look over to Tsuki hopefully, maybe this will be the opportunity to get him motivated. Tsuki looks up and with the fakest smile on his face he says “sorry, I’m all done for the night.”
Kuroo and one of the other guys I think from Fukurodani are both appalled by his response,
“You know he may not look it but he’s one of the top 5 aces is Japan.”
The owl looking guy stands up taller and puffs out his chest looking proud. It’s cute!
“Yeah I think he’s still upset he’s not in the top 3 anymore.” I chuckle, there fun, you can tell they all joke around a lot.
“Well I’m in.” I say walking up to the gym and yelling back at Tsuki “don’t make me do this alone.” The three others stay in the door continuing to try and convince Tsuki to join.
I’m walking through but jump when I her “oh hi” from the floor, looking down it’s the tall kid who was talking to Hinata earlier. He looks like a baby dear before it can walk!
“What happened to you?”
“Kuroo did.” I laugh back at him. He sits up more going over to sit agains the wall and I move to sit next you him.
“Your a first year right? How long have you been playing?” A guy like him is clearly a powerhouse, I assume he’s been playing for years.
“Oh I just started!” He says with a goofy grin on his face,
“You just started!!”
“Hey! How long have you been playing!” He says in an amusing accusatory tone
“Well, I kinda just started too!”
“Haha were tied.” I smile over at him, he looks kinda intimidating but he certainly doesn’t act it as he giggles at our interaction. I think back to when I first saw him earlier he was with Kennma, I wonder where he is?
“Hey your on the team with Kennma right, I just talked to him earlier today and haven’t seen him around much since?”
“Oh Kennma?” I hear Kuroo yell jogging over to us “he went to go play some video games, he’s not really the type that needs to practice, nor do I think we could get him too!” He chuckles.
“Oh that reminds me! Did you get Tsuki to join?”
Kuroo gets a cocky smile on his face looking over his shoulder to see Tsuki looking angry. I get up but before I Kuroo I say “great, you made our tall guy with glasses angry.” I laugh at him sarcastically, he laughs back loudly and we go to start our first practice game of many.
An: hey guys sorry it’s been too long, I’m currently thinking I’ll make this a Kenma x Reader X Kuroo or maybe a Tsuki X reader not sure yet!! Let me know what you think!!!
#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x trans reader#haikyuu x me#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x male reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!!#tsukishima x you#tsukishima x y/n#tsukishima fluff#kenma x reader#kenma x kuroo#kenma x male reader#kuroo x y/n#kuroo headcanons#kuroo tetsuro x you
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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .
if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation
Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh
this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.
Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries
i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho
speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible
tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.
Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏
how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???
'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??
about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.
you are the only funny person on this hellsite
how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.
Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)
check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)
dick grayson but he's nicki minaj
his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......
Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol
you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link
...
why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.
Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery
ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.
i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD
THANK YOU
bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.
people tend to do it in the bathtub.
WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns
i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think
lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.
if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk
i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.
saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3
literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.
I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.
fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)
It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece
OH my god dude lmao
there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more
it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )
i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)
shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.
Wait, hear me out
Bernothy @redlightofdawn
great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname
Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?
Wait no, I regret sending that ask
these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.
crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-
WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY
Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol
she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.
Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god
lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.
Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like
send to me or lose a toe
🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋
thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/
⬆️
This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.
Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow
fanksss also lmao.
That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but
There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?
oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.
"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure
yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.
I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!
haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.
Doot doot!
noot noot
I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me
lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.
sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"
lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing
(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”
yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.
so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side
i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’
ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.
wow. the IMPACT.
Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝
this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.
Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.
May I ask where your username originates from?
yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.
yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim
no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)
How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited
fenomenal next question.
Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that
(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)
i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts
You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel
you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.
Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main
he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.
Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.
lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy
stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
oh yes it is my darling.
did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily
no he did it bc fuck the french.
im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist
okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.
your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue
i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.
suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩
sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.
Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit
yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW
Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics
clark reads smut confirmeeed
NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector
that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.
One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy
literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.
superfam and batfam associations??
-batman and superman
-dick/barabara and supergirl?
-conner and tim
-jon and damian
pls enlighten me I am confused
nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl
I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)
sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.
good human what are your pronouns?
wouldn’t you like to know?
I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes
everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont
don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily
dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants
Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.
damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo
Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨
stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!
All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet
batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.
I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this
vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.
seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go
emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet
People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.
dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME
dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet
all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise
bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves
thoughts on teen titans and young justice
haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!
ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them
log off tumblr?
Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc
huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.
I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something
fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.
lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh
unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right
why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf
idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)
There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.
all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you
is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa
no. find her as owa owa as you want.
aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:
1. tim
2. Steph
3. dick
4. Duke
5. the rest
you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED
oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs
i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.
dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.
super random but
jason 🤝 damian
old english
lmao fair enough.
tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.
yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.
I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.
i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.
so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?
no. dunkin donuts all the way
One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker
now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.
crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown
SO CRAZY HUH?
batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink
absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.
unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator
dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.
When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution
bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.
#literally if you got through this i just respect you#this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask#i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else#ask#bataranswers#this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy#also sidenote#does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb#who cares tho latin is a dead language#big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence#here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram
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For the Frank stans (frankenstans? 🥺) worried about not getting new music, we weren’t entirely sure Gerard was still on earth and he was still dropping a single every so often or collabing on stuff. They love music and love sharing it, I don’t think they’d stop if they could keep going, whatever that may look like <3
He should for sure just drop an album mid MCR tour to establish dominance though. Get ahead of Gerard dropping his second album a week after they break up again
true but like. the pandemic has been like the perfect time for frank to write some stuff and release it like even if its on soundcloud or whatever? like he's had so much time to write and even release a whole pandemic album or whatever and we haven't gotten anything but bloodnun which is like 4 instrumental songs. not saying he didn't put effort into that, of course, but like with what frank says about how he has to be creating at all all times to feel fulfilled, he should def have more to show for the like year and a half before he busted his shit. like he SAID that he thought barriers was his last album im not just like doomscrolling my own thoughts for the worst case scenario. he's the one that brought that up as a possibility. so yea. i mean i really want frank to continue writing music and sharing it with us when he feels up to it. but i dont think we're gonna get it in the volume that we were from the breakup to barriers, or if he's gonna tour ever again after mcr. and it makes me very sad. :(
also at this point i doubt gerard will ever release music again lmao BUT. if the tour gives them both enough material to write an album about. well then lucky us <3
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C L U M S Y | S H I N S O U
S H I N S O U | P A R T O N E
[Part Two]
C L U M Y M A S T E R L I S T
Word Count: 3.3k
A/N: IM NOT EXCITED ABOUT HITOSHI YOU ARE. I am very excited about my favorite boi. I love this fictional man so much. I really hope you all enjoy, this first part is very different than most parts of the CLUMSY series. I hope you enjoy it regardless! (This has been updated on 4/22/21, on the fact that I realized going forward there would be too many plot holes, so I changed a few things regarding the parent situation, this will help me with future parts.)
“No one is going to even take you seriously as a hero! You would just waste your time if you tried out for the hero course at UA!” The bullies hissed at you as they passed you at your locker. You had considered potentially going for the entrance exam for UA, but with your quirk you were hesitant. Hearing all these other students reject the idea. You weren’t particularly popular in your school and it didn’t help that most of the other students looked down on you for your quirk. Being able to turn another person into a lifeless ragdoll wasn’t favored amongst others as they saw it as either useless or a villain's quirk. “She’d be good at capturing villains at best.” Another sneered. “Or heroes.” Laughed another.
Tears threatened to fall from your eyes when you heard, “Don’t you think it’s not very plus ultra of you all to be picking on someone for their quirk?”. You turned around to meet the violet eyes of one of your classmates, Shinsou Hitoshi. He had been another student who was rejected by most of the student population for his brain washing quirk. “Oh what a great pair! Two villains with useless quirks.” The first bully snarled at Hitoshi. “Be careful, man. You don’t want him activating his quirk on you.” The bully’s ally mentioned. Shinsou raised his eyebrow at them and they scattered away from the two of you.
“You shouldn’t let others get to you so easily.” Shinsou sighed once the bullies were out of sight. You nodded at him before turning back towards your locker. “You know, when someone helps you, you usually say thank you.” He scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Or are you also afraid of me using my quirk on you?” He pushed, squinting his eyes at you. You turned back around with tears running down your cheeks. This took him by surprise. “Thank you.” You breathed as you attempted a fake smile. Something pulled at Hitoshi’s heartstrings that day the way you thanked him without worrying about him using his quirk against you.
“Oh. Uh, y-yeah, you’re welcome.” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Let me repay you by getting you lunch.” You said, quickly finishing fumbling around in your locker and turning your attention his way once more. “You really don’t have to go through all that trouble. It was nothing, really.” He tried to coax, but you shook your head determined. “You helped me, let me repay you.” You said in a determined tone. He would never admit it out loud, but he was pretty sure right then and there is when he fell for you.
You and Hitoshi’s relationship was easy. Well as easy as it was for two student’s who didn’t attend the same school. Hitoshi had wound up applying and getting into UA but ending up in the general studies course. When you found out and saw how dejected he felt, you tried to cheer him up. You were the one who encouraged him to work hard to get his place in the Hero Course.
“You don’t understand, Y/N. The students in the hero course are on a whole different level.” He sighed to you. “And so are you, ‘Toshi! You are the hardest working person I know! You are going to be able to do anything if you put your mind to it!” You reassured him. The two of you were at the local park with his head in your lap. You were running your hands through his hair in attempts to calm the anxious lavender haired boy. “You saw what happened in the sports festival. I know you watched it. I am nowhere near their level of power.” He sighed in defeat, turning his head away from you.
“Then get to their level! I’ve seen some of the other students in that class, and you surpass them without even batting an eyelash. What’s the one with the purple balls stuck to his head? From what I’ve heard he’s not as strong as you are in the slightest. Push past your limits and impress the teachers! Get them to notice you!” You exclaimed; eyes filled to the brim with determination. He turned his head back over to look at you and when he saw how serious you were, his expression softened. “You’re right, like always. I just get in my head sometimes.” He admitted, humming when you went back to running your hands through his hair. “And I’m always here to ground you when you need it.” You said, expressing your feelings towards the boy.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you in my life, doll. I will always be so baffled I have you, but god am I glad I do.” He said, averting his gaze away from you. You could see the small blush dawning his cheeks and your cheeks matched his. It wasn’t rare for Hitoshi to show his affection for you, but when you two had small intimate moments like this, it made all of the struggles worth it.
You were sitting in your normal spot in the park where you usually met up with your boyfriend. Your school tended to let out a bit earlier than Hitoshi’s did. This was routine for the two of you at this point. Every Tuesday, Thursday and occasionally the weekends, the two of you met up to talk about your days in person. Flipping through one of your notebooks, you hadn’t heard Shinsou approach the bench. He snatched the notebook out of your hands and tossed it to the side. “Hey! Hitoshi!” You shouted in protest but were immediately thrown off guard by him picking you up and spinning you around. A squeak left your mouth at the action.
When he put you down, he was all smiles. “What has gotten into you, ‘Toshi?” You asked, smiling back at him. You couldn’t help it; his genuine smile was so contagious. You loved seeing him this happy, as he always looked so tired and stressed. “One of the teacher’s at UA is going to take me on as my mentor! He’s going to train me! He’s a bit of a stricter and rougher instructor than the rest, but he said if I worked hard enough I could potentially get into the hero course!” He exclaimed, barely holding in his excitement. Your mouth dropped open in surprise, but you squealed in equal excitement.
“Hitoshi Shinsou! That’s amazing!” You cheered, smothering the boy in kisses all over his face. He erupted in hearty laughter, pushing you playfully off of him. Both of you were beaming excitedly at each other. “Thank you for always believing in me, Y/N.” He said, pressing his forehead against yours. You could feel the appreciation oozing from him. You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried. “No need to thank me, silly. That’s what I’m here for. To cheer you on and make sure you do your best!” You replied, nuzzling your nose against his. He scrunched his nose in response before placing a soft kiss to your forehead.
“I am worried though.” He stated, his tone dropping. You looked at him with an eyebrow raised, making you worried in less than a second. “Why are you worried? You’re going to do great!” You coaxed, sitting back down on the park bench before tugging on Hitoshi’s jacket sleeve to follow in your suite. “That’s not what worries me, doll. I’ll have to do a lot of after school training with my mentor. That means I won’t be able to come see you during the week anymore.” He said, shifting his gaze away from you. Shinsou was half expecting you to leave him with that development.
“Then I’ll just see you when you are available, dummy. I want you to be able to pursue this dream you’ve been chasing! I’ll be here when you need or want me to be! I’m always going to be in your corner. No matter what.” You reassured him, flicking his forehead playfully. “Hey!” He scoffed when he felt you flick him. His eyes turned from serious to playful in a moment’s notice. “You are going to regret that, doll.” He hissed; his tone filled with mischief. He pulled you close to him, tickling your sides mercilessly. You squealed and tried to break out of his grip, but he was much stronger than you were.
“St-STOP. HITOSHI STOP IM SORRY.” You manage to squeal out in between your fits of giggles. His attack at your sides stopped momentarily, while smiling at you adoringly. “It’ll be a lot worse if you do that again.” He whispered in your ear. You separated yourself from him, fake huffing in annoyance. “You can be such a pain, ‘Toshi.” You grumbled. He put a finger under your chin and turned your head to face him. His face was mere inches from your own; making your face flush a deep red. “I can make it up to you.” He whispered, his lips ghosting inches from your own. You nodded your head with hooded eyelids and let his lips capture yours without another word.
You melt into his affection, sighing into the kiss. Your hand entangled into his messy hair quickly, and his hand moved from your chin over to your jaw; his thumb rubbing against your jawline softly. As quickly as he initiated the kiss, he pulled away, making you groan. “I knew you liked me.” He teased with that shit eating grin of his. You frowned at him and huffed in annoyance. He tenderly kissed you on the cheek before placing his forehead onto your own. “I love you, Y/N. Thank you for always being here for me.” He whispered.
You had to stop your mouth from falling open. The two of you had only been dating for over a year, but Hitoshi never uttered those three words to you. Your heart swelled and melted all in the same breath. You couldn’t stop the happy tears from falling down your cheeks and the smile from spreading across your face. “I love you too, Hitoshi.” You uttered, before giving him a quick peck on the lips. Hitoshi felt like he was on cloud nine, having you by his side and being told he would be training with one of his favorite pro-heroes.
He walked you to the train station, holding onto your hand tightly as if afraid to let it go. When your train was announced to be stopping into the station soon, you turned towards your boyfriend with a smile. He, on the other hand, was not smiling. A frown was embedded on his face, thinking about how little he was going to see you now. “Don’t frown at me! I’ll see you on weekends if you’re available. Plus we will still text and call each other right?” You asked, hope still gleaming in those beautiful eyes of yours. He forced out a laugh and nodded his head at your statement. “Please text me when you get home. I want to make sure you get back safe.” He muttered, tugging you into his embrace.
You hugged him back, nodding and inhaled his cologne one last time. “I better get going before I miss my train and make my mother anxious of getting home too late.” You mentioned, looking up one more time at your boyfriend. “I love you, get home safe.” He said, placing one more final kiss to your forehead. “I love you too. Let me know when you get back to your dorms, okay?” You replied. He nodded his head and watched you get onto your train. A sigh left his lips watching the train depart, only because he was not sure how everything was going to turn out. If you would be patient with him while he trained to become a hero to protect you.
…
You arrived home, not too late to make your mother worry, but to at least raise some questions. “You stay after school again?” Your mother asked from the living room, making you stop in your tracks from walking towards your room. You had hoped she had gone to bed, but you should know better than that. She liked to make sure you got home safe and sound. “I met up with Hitoshi at the park again. Sorry to make you worry, mom.” You told her, heading over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Well your father called; you may want to give him a call before he goes on second duty, or worse, sends out a search party for you.” She mentioned as you walked up towards your room. You nodded your head, rolling your eyes at your father’s ridiculous nature, and quickly ran up the stairs to your room.
Putting your school bag down, you quickly pulled your phone out to video call your father. Within mere seconds he had answered your call. “Hi Papa.” You greeted with a smile. “I called your mother about an hour ago, where were you?” He immediately started to question you, making you roll your eyes. “I already told mom I was meeting with Hitoshi today. Did she not mention it on the phone?” I asked, seeing the annoyance immediately come onto his face. “When are you going to bring that boy around for me to meet him? Your mother has also been itching to meet this boyfriend of yours. You’ve been seeing him for quite some time now.” Your father mentioned, his eyes looking more tired than usual. He had been working overtime with all the villain activities going on, but he always made time for you.
You had lived separately from your father due to his work needing him on call at all hours of the day. Your parents weren’t married, nor were they still dating but they were cordial for your sake. They had made arrangements where you could live comfortably if you so choose, but over the years you had seemed to be with your mother more. You occasionally saw your father on the weekends when he wasn’t too busy, but for the most part you spoke to your father either by video call or by text messages.
“I don’t know dad; I don’t want him to get freaked out. Plus, you know you can be a bit on the intimidating side.” You whispered, making a chuckle escape his lips. “Maybe that’s a good reason to bring him around. He may need a good scaring.” Your father pointed out, making you roll your eyes. “I just worry about you; I want you to be taken care of no matter what. No stupid boy is going to hurt my precious daughter. Especially one that avoids his girlfriend’s family.” He continued. “He’s not scared of meeting you, he’s offered plenty of times. I just don’t want him to feel pressured. Especially by my big scary father.” You joked, sticking your tongue out playfully.
“Well I’d like to meet him one day, Y/N. I don’t like the thought of you being out with some stranger. I want to know you are with someone who can protect you.” Your father sighed, putting the book he was reading down. “He can, I promise. He took care of those bullies for me when I was in middle school.” You pointed out with a smile. You noticed a notification pop onto your screen to see Hitoshi messaged you when he got back to the dorms at UA, and you quickly let him know you just arrived back at home yourself. “Plus, I wasn’t expecting you to call tonight. Don’t you have a shift to be at?” You questioned your dad.
“Yes, but I wanted to make sure you got home safely. I know Tuesdays and Thursdays are your days you meet up with this mysterious boyfriend of yours.” Your father said before standing up to put his coat on. This made you puff your cheeks out, he had known where you were, but still decided to make a big deal of it. “You know what he looks like dad.” You scoffed and shook your head at his ridiculousness. “That’s if he’s real.” He countered, the usual banter the two of you shared. “You’ve also seen pictures with me and him together. You told me to take a selfie with him one day and you swore I pulled a random boy off the street.” You countered back. A smile was etched on your face. You loved the playful banter you and your father had with each other.
“However, he got accepted into this really cool program and now he’s going to be a bit preoccupied during the week. So I should be home during the week unless I text you otherwise.” You admitted as your father got ready for his shift. While you might not have seen your father a lot in person, you definitely favored him over your mother. You might not have looked a lot like him, or acted as aloof as he did, but your relationship couldn’t have been any stronger.
“I swear if he hurts you, I will find out where he lives, and I will hurt him way worse than he could ever hurt you.” Your father immediately responded. “He’s not going to hurt me, papa. He’s just chasing after a life goal, and I don’t want to hold him back! I also heard his mentor is really strict so I’m sure he’s going to need lots of rest.” You confirmed, trying to coax your father into calming down. He stared at you for a moment before relaxing his stern gaze. “My warning still stands, so you better tell that boy to treat you right before I end all of his life goals.” He threatened. You rolled your eyes and blew him a kiss.
“Don’t work too hard, I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner.” You told him and he nodded his head before saying his goodbyes. Not longer after that you laid down on your bed. “I’m really excited to see you succeed, ‘Toshi.” You texted him. Your phone rang almost immediately after you sent him the text, seeing his face pop up on your screen. A smile spread across your lips as you saw your sleepy boyfriend laying in his bed. “Can’t sleep?” You asked, snuggling into your blankets. He shook his head no. “Too excited, but I know training starts tomorrow so I should get some rest.” He muttered, almost sighing after his statement.
“I wish I could be there to lull you to sleep with cuddles.” You mutter. “Me too, doll.” He replied sleepily. “My father is going to fight you by the way.” You mentioned, making him look up at you with a questioning look on his face. “He’s being overdramatic like usual. He’s just convinced you're not real because you haven’t met him.” You said with a yawn. “I’ve offered to come over multiple times.” He said with an annoyed look on his face, as if you were blaming him. “No I know! I just know how focused on your studies you get, and now especially with this mentor opportunity!” You frantically said. “Maybe once you get into the hero program we can go out and celebrate and I’ll bring him along.” You offered.
“I think I’d like that a lot.” He smiled. He enjoyed the fact that you believed in him so much and that you were so convinced he was going to get into the hero course. “Can we fall asleep on the phone together?” You asked shyly, nuzzling yourself further into your blankets. “I don’t know, will your father get upset with me for that?” He teased. A huff left your lips and he chuckled. “Fine, fine.” He gave in, seeing how cute your sleepy pout was. Your pout was immediately replaced with a smile that made his heart melt.
The two of you continued to casually pillow talk until he heard your soft snores on the other end of the line. He looked up from his textbook to see you softly sleeping. A look of adoration dawned his face as he saw you in your most vulnerable state. The smile was etched on his face as he went back to studying his textbook, occasionally checking on you to make sure you were still sound asleep. Until he fell asleep himself, wishing you a goodnight before nodding off to sleep.
(To be continued)
#shinsou hitoshi#shinsou x reader#shinsou hitoshi x reader#hitoshi x reader#boku no hero academia#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero academia x reader#bnha x reader#bnha#bnha fanfiction#bnha oneshots#mha#mha x reader#mha imagines#mha oneshots#mha shinsou hitoshi#bnha shinsou hitoshi#bnha shinsou x reader#bnha shinsou hitoshi x reader#mha shinsou hitoshi x reader#mha shinsou x reader#saffronsmhafics#mhaclumsyseries
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I know april fools just passed but,, could you do a bakugou headcanon where his s/o decided to dye her hair like shouto’s because he is her best friend and todoroki was like “what if we were twins for a day” and she thought it was a good idea to see how bakugou would react to it?? love your blog btw!!
this is so cute! thank you for requesting! and let us all imagine that its currently march 30 rn + idk how long dyeing your hair takes cs my mom wont let me dye my hair 😔 #ripjanshairgoals
sometimes you ask yourself how did you get so lucky to meet shoto todoroki and become best friends with him just because of this stupid idea he got for april fools day
as well all know todoroki has 2 hair colors parted in the middle right
and his brilliant idea is to dye your hair the exact same colors of his hair and call it a day
so of course you had to agree with him even if it costed you your natural hair color
so you two hit up kirishima in secret to help you dye your hair
also this is just to fuck with your boyfriend bakugo
^^ thats what todoroki said
anyway
so like planned, at exactly 8:30 where bakugo would be knocked out cold, you three would start your grand fools day joke
“babe, i’m getting tired” bakugou yawns as you two watch tv in the common room
“awww is it time for boom boom baby’s bedtime?” you cooed, pinching his cheeks
bakugo huffs and pulled you closer to his chest
literally 5 mins just passed and apparently bakugo cant take it anymore
“i’m sleepy. i’m going to sleep now” he checks the time on his phone and it deadass reads 8:05 PM
“goodnight katsuki” you kissed his cheek briefly to which he returns your love with a kiss on the lips
“night” he smiles, walking back to his room
after the coast is clear
both kirishima and todoroki emerge from the kitchen holding up what seems to be a plastic bag filled with hair dye
“let’s get this bread” kirishima giggles as you and todoroki share a knowing look
~an hour into dyeing your hair~
“holy fuck kiri how do you deal with this shit every other week” you whined as they placed your head above the sink for what seems like the nth time tonight
“stop whining” todoroki tsked as he holds half of your hair up
“stop scolding me who are you? my fucking dad?” you retort sending ur bff a glare
todoroki literally flicks your forehead but he forgot he got dye in his fingers now your forehead is stained in the color of red
“SHOTO WHAT THE FUCK” you screamed as you rapidly wiped your forehead
“heh you sound like my dad” he snickers
kirishima had to deal with the two of you for 4 fucking hours
but luckily those hours are over since the look is complete
you looked in front of the mirror with todoroki and kirishima beside you
“hOLY FUCK YOU GUYS” you squealed, twirling your hair with your fingers
“looks sick dude” kirishima comments, complimenting his work which is the hair job lmfao
“sho look we’re twins!” you turned to todoroki and gave him your iconic grin he grew up with
“i wish we were actually twins y/n” he says with a small smile pulling you into a side hug
you know what he means by that
you quickly thanked the two boys for their hard work and you tied your hair with some plastic so it doesn’t stain your pillows and shit
+ you had to get some beauty sleep to surprise your mans
fast forward to the next day
since bakugo sleeps early, he also wakes up early
and when he went downstairs to the bathroom to do his business he almost had an heart attack and blew up the boys bathroom after seeing the red stained sink
“fucking shitty hair and his shit he doesnt clean up” he grumbles to himself, staring at the sink
you on the other hand, you overslept because at the time you went to bed last night
so bakugo had to come all the way to your room to wake you the fuck up
bakugo knows you dont lock your door cs everyone probably knows by now that you’re dating him so if anyone who isnt bakugo goes to your room might be killed by bakugo himself if he finds out
and what bakugo saw was something he thought he only saw in movies
my boy lost all the color in his face when he noticed icy hot’s hair IN YOUR BED
(what he assumed was todoroki)
its safe to say you were awoken by the smell of burning caramel and explosions going off in your room
“FUCK IM AWAKE” you jolt up from your bed in high alert after literally witnessing a grenade go off in your room
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” bakugo YELLS the moment he saw your hair color
you faced bakugo who was literally at the brink of crying cause mans thought you were ch**t*ng on him behind his back
“KATSUKI” you laughed, walking near him to give him a hug
bakugo was holding in his tears at this point
he wiped a stray tear angrily and sniffled
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR” he croaked, his nose getting red
“IT WAS APRIL FOOLS. I’M SORRY” you apologized, holding his face
so basically everyone in 1-a was outside your room wondering what the fuck happened
todoroki took the liberty and opened your door to see you holding bakugo like he was a baby
“it was todoroki’s idea by the way” you throw todoroki under the bus, bakugo stays silent and just lets you hold him lmfao
“haha april fools” todoroki laughs as he watched bakugo cry
bakugo turns around and gave him the bakuglare™
which todoroki understood as “get the fuck out”
so he leaves quietly and gave you a smile of accomplishment on the way out
you let out a laugh and turned your attention to bakugo again
“i’m so hurt right now i don’t even know what to say” he starts, “but i’m not gonna ignore the fact you look good in it” bakugo admits
“i’m going have to punish you for making me think of things” bakugo says through gritted teeth before scooping you up at ease and throwing you to your bed
;)
#i got too carried away im sorry#requests ✍🏻#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bnha imagines#bnha scenarios#bnha headcannons#mha imagines#mha scenarios#mha headcannons#bakugou imagines#bakugou scenarios#bakugou headcannons#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader
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So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.
Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!
The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.
The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.
Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.
Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.
um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here.
so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!
and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD
also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you!
and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today.
so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!
in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.
#thegirlwhowatchedeverything#asks#death by kindness#my death#i am dead#oh also yes#they rumors are true#im writing a soulmate story next#i intend to hurt you#you being ALL of you#*evil laughter*
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I had a thought the beginning of a third TMNT bayverse film would've started with the turtles being 19 to 21 years old, and doing their own ASMR videos with their own youtube usernames kinda like this in my opinion 😂😂:
*whispers* Greetings my lovely students, it is I, your Sensei "the great Master Leo." And today, we will be doing a very silent meditation session today. Before we begin, please subscribe to my channel and slice the bell icon for more meditating and ninja training tutorials. Now that we got that out of the way, let us begin our session. Let me just put some relaxing music here, and we shall get started...*does meditation things in silence for the remainder of the video*
*whispers loudly* wassup you beautiful bitches! It's me your tough red headed big boy here! "Mr.Sexy Ripped Raph!" Today, I'm gonna do some quiet weight lifting and whispering dirty things in the microphone afterwards. Subscribe to my channel for more sweet ass content from me, or imma go into your house and fuck you up so good, you wont be able to walk in a full week. Now that shit is out of my system, lets do dis thang. So, prepare to have your ovaries explode!....*he prepares his weights and begins lifting them up, but they fall on top of the camera and it breaks* FFFFFFUUU- *please stand by...* 😅
*whispers in a very soft tone* Hello my darling assistants. This is your favorite brilliant science guy, "Professor-Donnie." Today, I shall be mixing three different liquids with some salt. Before we begin, here's a little word from our sponser, Adam and Eve. Care to experiment on yourself with some gorgeous looking glass butt plugs to ram up your bum with? Or vibrate that beautiful pink clit to make yourself squirt with a rechargeable vibrating bunny dildo like a pulsating sprinkler that you have at your front yard? Than use the code:"ProDonnie" to get a 30% off special offer for your purchase of $100 or more on any items you wish to buy, and you will recieve free gifts with that purchse such as a sex tape, a free toy, and a starter kit. Again, the code is "ProDonnie". Also, subscribe to my channel for more sciencey content. Now that this is all in conclusion, let us begin. *starts mixing the liquid and salt as it bubbles and puts it close to the microphone whispering some more* you here that?.....that is the sound.....of science.....
*whispers excitedly* what is up my Babes and bros! It's me your awesome, handsome, and totally cool pizza loving, sexy skateboarding gamer boy with a dazzling personality, the one, the only, "Happy-go-lucky-Mikey!" And today, we will be playing the new Crash:4 its about time! Woo hoo! Im so excited for this thing! I cannot wait to get started! And while I play, I will also silently eat some pizza while I'm at it. So let us start this awesome journey with our favorite non-verbal orange bandicoot crash himself with his magical talking mask Aku Aku, and also. Dont forget to subscribe, and check out my new merch! I got skateboards, headphones, pins, stickers, T-shirts, hoodies, and even magnets and mugs with my face all over em! Use the code: "funky-Mikey" to get 15% off of your first purchse! And now without further a do, let's get this bad boy started! *5 hours later* oh yeah! This game is so wicked peeps. *takes a bite of pizza* Mmmmm!....So good!.....*chews close to the microphone while still playing*
That's all I can think of. What do you guys think? 😂😅
@teenage-mutant-ninja-freak @tmntspidergirl @selfless1978 @memes-in-a-half-shell @the-second-circle-of-shell
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You & Me : chapter 50
A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
(FINAL CHAPTER)
CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49
THANK YOU’S
I can't explain how much AM Conversations and YOU&ME has meant to me. This was a story I started just for fun after I realized how much I loved Niall. After only a few chapters, i almost let it die. It took me 4 years to decide to continue it again, despite knowing back then that no one cared or was interested to read. I don't know how I got lucky enough that you guys actually gave this story a chance. And I can't thank you enough for trusting me. I hope I entertained you through the past year and a half, and I really hope I made you go through a bunch of emotions, good and bad. I don't think all of you realize how happy you made me feel with the likes, the reblogs, the comments, the feedback and the ideas you sent me. It made me want to write more, it made me want to continue this story and actually finish it.
And here I am. It's the very first time I actually finish a story. two books. 105 chapters. Over 440k words. I can't pretend I'm not proud of this. This story will always be my baby, my favorite. And all of you who took time in your busy days to read and comment it mean more to me than I can ever explain.
I love you guys. I love you so much. I can't seem to express how grateful I am.
Julie ( @paynesqueen ): thank you for brainstorming with me almost every week. thank you for all your ideas, and all the help you gave me through the year I wrote these books. even when in quarantine, we'd talk for hours on the phone and you'd be there to help me. thank you for your big heart, thank you for being an incredible friend that I can always count on, thank you for listening to all my sad shit and feelings even if i know I rarely share because i feel stupid. thank you so so so so much! you're one of my best friends, and im so glad i have you in my life!
Isa ( @sushiniall ): you are such a beautiful persons. idk if we would have started talking if it wasnt from this story. i like to think that we would, but i can never be sure. thank you for always commenting, sending ideas, liking and reblogging. As a writer, it blows up my heart that someone would be so kind, and as a friend, it makes me want to cry. you're amazing, youre incredible, and you were always always there to cheer me up and tell me that I had talent, It made me keep going and I can never thank you enough for that. I love you. I really really do.
Laila ( @liallerr ) : what can i say? you've always been there for me, to make me feel better and to tell me how much you loved my writing. thank you for being such an incredible person. and thank you for being so patient with me whenever i'd message you (even if it wasnt about this story). thank you for never judging me, and for your beautiful friendship. I really hope I bring to you as much joy as you bring in my life. im so happy we met, im so glad we started talking. i love you so so much, youre like a little sister to me. thank you for always commenting and reading my story. thank you for being you, because i cant think of a better quality in someone. thank you.
@ewhkylie: you were always one of the first to comments every single chapter. how can i not thank you for being so loyal and giving my story a chance. i saw all the efforts you made into commenting. and every single time, it made me smile. youre amazing, thank you so much!
@llainnaroh: thank you so much! your tags always made me smile! thank you!
@bamb11: thank you for always caring and reading!!! youre amazing!
@behind-my-hazeleyes27: i saw you reblog with tags or comments every time... thank you so much!
special thanks to you guys who reblogged, commented, or messaged me so often! thank you! i noticed every time!
thanks to you guys! @beachsecrets @wasteddarlinglover @torismusing @sunsetter96 @bunbun9396 @missy14us @mannien @cybermugneckpsychic @mariamorris913 @sunshine-sma @mypugsley @loulouloueh @awomanindeniall @tylkotroche
and many many more! (im so sorry if i forgot you!)
thank you to all of you who liked and reblogged my chapters. thank you to those who recommended my stories to their friends or on your blog. thank you to the person(s) who nominated me for the 1d craft awards. thank you so much, you're all amazing!
thank you so so much to all of you who sent me anons about my chapters or the story as a whole. thank you for taking the time to do that. i love every single one of you even if i don't know who you are. just know that waking up with comments and feedback from you in my inbox made me smile every single time!
thank you to every single one of you who ever sent an idea or a request, even if i may not have used them. please know that it's not because your ideas weren't great, but just because it didnt fit in the story. (i received almost 300 requests/ideas for the 2 stories!)
thank you to the 41 persons who asked to be notified when this story was updated. I never thought it would be that many, and every single time i send you guys the link im amazed by how many of you actually care! thank you!
thank you to all of you, the silent readers. those who never messaged me, sent me comments or requests... i don't know who you are, but I know there are some of you out there. i hope at some point you get less shy and send me a comment or two!
i'm extremely thankful for all the love i received, and i'll never forget this. thank you everyone for following me in this crazy adventure. i love you all.
Olivia 💗
Chapter 50 (final chapter)
OLIVIA
I felt Niall's lips brush the skin of my neck and my lips curled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I chuckled low, tilting my head to allow him to kiss me more. We had been back from our trip to Vegas for about a week, and had intentionally and very carefully ignored the messages and calls we had gotten. All we did was send an invitation for a party to everyone we knew, including our parents, along with plane tickets. We had taken hotel reservations for them and made sure their stay would be perfect. Everything was ready, everything was planned, and all the persons we loved the most in the world were going to be present. I was extremely stressed and as usual, Niall was totally relax about it. I had no idea how he did it, but the fact that he was so calm and laid-back helped me relax, too.
"This is amazing." he let out, pecking my skin more. "Everyone that really matters will be there."
"I hate talking in front of people, you know that." I whined, raising my nose up in a grimace.
"But everyone who'll be there actually loves you, petal." he argued, running his hands gently and slowly up my arms. "I love you the most and I'll be standing right next to you."
"How do you think they're react?"
"Mm, our moms will cry, our dads will laugh, our friends will scream and Louis will curse."
I let out a louder laughter, making Niall chuckle against my neck.
"You told him, didn't you?"
"I showed him the ring but I didn't tell him when I was going to ask you, or that we would just fly to Vegas to get married." he shrugged. "I just left him there and ran to you."
I smiled fondly and turned around in his arms to face him, tilting my chin and licking my lips as I stared in his eyes. He was wearing a tie and I gripped it gently, pulling on it. He had convinced me to wear a dress even if I knew I'd feel uncomfortable the whole evening but I knew I couldn't just wear sweatpants to this event, even if I desperately wanted to.
"How's my make up?" I finally asked, raising my eyebrows, after a few minutes of silence.
"On point." he replied, making me laugh.
"You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?" I asked as he pulled me closer by the waist.
"No idea. None."
I laughed more and he bent down to kiss me gently. "All I know is that you're beautiful. You always are." he whispered, brushing his lips against mine again.
"You're so full of shit, Horan." I breathed back against his mouth, my lips curling slightly.
"I mean it." he insisted very low, his arms slipping around my waist as he pressed my body against his. "You're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. You shine so much, you glow, my love."
I giggled and he smiled, moving his face slightly away to look at me. My smile faltered a bit and turned into a fond one. I wanted to stay right there, in our living room, as he'd hold me close, but I knew we had somewhere to be.
"My wife."
My eyes fluttered close and my lips curled more. All the papers were signed and the 'I do's were said. We were officially husband and wife and that thought always made my heart jump in my chest. It probably always would.
"Yes?"
"I would love to stay here and make love to you all evening but we should really get going."
I laughed a bit and shook my head, knowing it was exactly what we had been doing for the past weeks but I didn't mention anything. Instead, I tilted my head and just nodded. I was stressed and I was not sure why but after everyone was arrived and had consumed at least one drink, Niall walked up to the small stage and I frowned a bit when I saw him grab his guitar. His eyes found me and he made a quick head movement, telling me to join him.
"Go!" Louis told me, pushing me gently but I just pressed my lips together and breathed in deeply. "Come on, my queen."
I finally joined Niall and he cleared his throat, placing himself in front of the microphone. That was it, that was the moment I was dreading, and I started feeling nauseous.
"Hello everyone, thank you for coming here tonight." he let out with a smile. "I know you're all here because you think we're getting engaged."
I bit my bottom lip but suddenly, I relaxed. Perhaps, it was the sound of his voice that calmed me down, or maybe the fact that we were surrounded by all the people we loved, or maybe it was just the thought that we were married and that no one could take that away from us. Either way, I moved closer and I smiled while staring at him.
"Uhm, we're not getting engaged. In fact, if you haven’t heard from us at all in the past two weeks, it's because we flew to Vegas and got married there."
The memory of him, standing in front of me as he held my hands and promised to love me forever came back to my mind and I held my breath. Everyone started whispering but coming loud from all the murmurs was the sound of my best friend screaming "FUCK YEA!" from the middle of the room. I let out a laughter as my eyes looked for him and he sent me a 'rock on' sign with his free hand while the other was holding up a glass of wine.
"Thank you, Tommo." my boyfriend let out with a smile and a small head movement. "So you guys are here to celebrate the fact that Olivia and I are husband and wife, legally and emotionally. I waited until you were all at least a bit intoxicated to let out the news but if you're here, it's because we love you, and we wanted to live this with you. We knew you would all be happy for us, because after all, Liv and I, it was meant to be."
His eyes found me and I smiled more, I took a step closer and licked my lips as In gripped the side of my dress nervously. It took only a second for Niall's hand to reach mine and when he squeezed my fingers, I felt better.
"Thank you so much for being here. We're sorry you missed the ceremony, but it was important for us to do it just the two of us. When you find the love of your life, that one person you want to spend all your days with until the very last, then there's no reason to wait. I've always known Niall was my soulmate, but now I know I'm his too, and nothing can change that. I know it's cheesy, but each and every single one of you were with us when we said 'I do'"
Niall chuckled next to me and shook his head slightly. "Here, let me reenact what happened to you." he turned to me and just let out a low 'I do' before grabbing my face and kissing me.
It was not as gentle and emotional as it had been when it really happened, but I still felt my heart jump in my chest. I loved the feeling of his warm palms on my cheeks and the way his fingertips brushed against my jaw and neck. I loved his touch. I heard everyone start cheering and clapping and I laughed through the kiss, feeling his lips curl into a smile too.
When he pulled away, I could swear my eyes were sparkling and when his eyes met mine, he smiled even more. "Okay so I wrote a song for you." he explained when the small crowd of our families and friends became quieter. "I wanted to sing it here, in front of everyone, because I thought it was perfect for today."
I took a step back and when he started singing, I recognized the lyrics. I had read them in his notebook a few months before. It was the song he wrote in the middle of the night and I remembered watching him for so long, his pen running quickly on the paper and his hand moving in his hair from time to time, messing it on the top of his head. I remember reading the lyrics the next day and tearing up when I realized there was my name at the bottom. I remembered everything and I tried to keep the tears in as he sang.
"Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See you standing in your dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"
I knew Niall would have preferred a more traditional wedding, and I also knew he gave it up just for me. This small reception was the closest he would get from telling everyone that he promised to love me forever and somehow, with this song, he was doing it very clearly and openly.
"I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes"
I held my breath, feeling suddenly a bit guilty that he couldn't have his family and friends with him when we got married, but I teared up at how beautiful his lyrics were, even if I already knew that. I breathed in deeply only when the song was over and without thinking, I walked up to him quickly, got on my tiptoes and kissed him.
"I love you so much." I just let out before my lips crashed against his.
Everyone started clapping again but I was not sure if it was for the kiss or the song. Either way, it didn't matter. I just deppened the kiss and he answered it without hesitation. I knew he didn't like PDA, but I couldn't help it and when he pulled me closer, I knew he didn't mind. I felt half of his guitar press on my stomach and laughed a bit.
"I love you too."
NIALL
Everyone was dancing, talking, laughing and drinking. I remained close to my wife the whole time and when I saw our parents talking together, I knew that was the ultimate test. I was pretty sure they would be okay with this but I was still a bit scared of their reaction. I felt Liv hold my hand so tight that I almost took it back. Instead, I squeezed her fingers back and smiled as we walked up to them. Quickly, my mom engulfed me in a hug and all the stress disappeared. I noticed Olivia's parents do the same to her and I hugged my dad before turning to my parents-in-law and hold out my hand to her father. It took a few seconds but his lips finally curled and he shook my hand before pulling on it and hugging me too.
"I am happy for you, son."
"Thank you."
"We're sorry that you couldn't be there with us. I promise we didn't want to hurt you, we just..." Liv started before licking her lips and pressing them together. "We just wanted to do that alone."
Her mom raised her eyebrows and they stared at each other in silence for a while.
"Es-tu heureuse?"
My girlfriend's lips curled and her eyes fluttered a bit. "I've never been happier, maman."
Her mom nodded and after a while, it was my mom's turn to hug her. When they pulled away, Olivia frowned and her lips parted. I couldn't help but think that she looked too pretty for words but I tried to push that thought away when I heard only one word escape her mouth. "How...?" My mom smiled more and chuckled slightly. "I just do."
I was about to ask them what they were talking about but I felt someone slap my back and it took me by surprise. I jumped slightly and groaned low as Louis appeared in front of me.
"Congrats mate, I'm happy for both of you." he said, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me so tight that I lost my breath.
"Thank you." I said as he let go of me to engulf my girlfriend into a tight and more emotional hug.
I stared at them for a few seconds and finally turned to Eleanor who congratulated me too before hugging me. Soon, Liam, Julie and Harry joined us and after hugging everyone, we all started talking and laughing together. I knew everything would go well but at the same time, I was a bit nervous. It was important for me that our friends and family would be okay with the fact that we got married without telling them, and I just wanted them to know it was not against them at all, but mostly just for Liv and I. We had started just the two of us, and it was just the obvious way to do this.
For the rest of the night, I spent my time watching my girlfriend dance, laugh and interact with the people we loved, telling myself that this was the happiest time of my entire life. I watched everyone leave one by one, our parents being the firsts and then our friends. Louis was the last one to leave and we decided to just leave with him.
"You know, you literally made me want to do it too." he let out low, looking at our girlfriends saying their goodbyes and making me frown. "Your speech earlier. It made me realize that maybe I shouldn't wait anymore."
My lips curled and I let out a chuckle. "Go for it." I just let out, knowing perfectly well that their couple was as strong as ours and that they both considered each other their soulmates. "I don't even know why you waited that long."
He didn't send me a glance, he just kept looking at El and after a few minutes, we said good night and left in a different cab. It's only when we walked inside and closed the door behind us that I felt all the stress disappear from my body. It was a good stress, but it was still nice to relax.
Olivia disappeared in the hall and I just sat on the couch, loosening my tie and putting my feet on the coffee table. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the back of the couch as a bunch of memories came to mine. I had been so close to lose the love of my life forever and by my fault. I had hurt her in a way I had never hurt anyone else in my life and at the same time, I had hurt myself in a way I had never been hut before without realizing it immediately. I couldn't lie and pretend Olivia was not the best thing that has ever happened to me because she was, and I liked to believe I was for her, too. You can call it fate, you can call it destiny, you can call it 'soulmates' but in the end, it was just an other love story for most people. For me, however, it was epic and the accomplishment of a lifetime.
After everything we've been through, every wrong decisions, every mistake and every problem, we still managed to reach this point of happiness together. Olivia has always told me that love was not all you need, despite the popular song, and I knew she was right. But it was because of the love we have for each other that we actually tried over and over again. It was because of this love that we actually ended up together, because we were ready to make the effort, and because we believed in the feelings we had. I knew I would never truly be happy without her and now that we were together, I planned to do everything possible and impossible to keep her in my life.
My girlfriend came back and put something next to the couch, which I guessed was her purse. I was not surprised to see she had changed into a pair of my sweatpants and a shirt that also belonged to me but looked so much better on her. It stuck to her chest and hips in a way it didn't to me and I loved it more than I should.
"I would have loved to take that dress off of you myself." I admitted with a smirk, making her raise her nose up as she sent me a smile. "But hey, I'm not surprised."
She moved closer and gripped my tie, pulling on it gently and making me laugh right before her lips reached mine. I was a bit tipsy and mixed with my happiness, it made me sound totally drunk, but she knew me well enough to know I was just ecstatic from the night we just had had.
"You can take my sweatpants and t-shirt off later, if you want." she proposed before I nodded. "I'm not wearing anything under, if it changes anything."
I chuckled and she kissed my lips again as one of my hands reached for her waist. "Come on, sit on me, will you?"
I watched her hesitate and bite her bottom lip gently before actually straddling me. I moved my chin up, endeared by her behavior, and my hands reached for her thighs. I let my palms rub slowly on the fabric of her pants and stared at her as she licked her lips.
"Thank you for the song." she whispered, a shy smile gracing her lips as she looked away. "Honestly, I had read the lyrics before. I know I shouldn't have but it was sort of an accident."
I raised my eyebrows and smiled back at her. "You're so nosy I swear," I joked. "No one told you not to touch other people's stuff?"
"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't have. Forgive me?" she asked with a cute grimace, making me roll my eyes with a smile.
"Of course." I just let out, moving my head slightly. "I almost sang you 'This Town' instead." I paused and she frowned. "I know I wrote it when we first dated, and I told you it was partially about you, and partially fiction... but when you were with Dylan and we met again, It hit me how it had completely turned out to be what I was actually going through. And the lyrics are still true, you know? Everything comes back to you."
Her eyes fluttered and a fond smile spread on her lips. She brought her hands to my cheeks and let her thumbs brush on my stubble. I wanted to keep telling her how much I loved her but quickly, she pressed her mouth against mine and my hands gripped her thighs at how good she tasted. I don't know how long we stayed close, her forehead leaning against mine while we both kept out eyes closed, but I focused on her weight on my lap and the aroma of honey and vanilla invading my nose. I could have stayed like that all night.
"Told you our parents would be happy." I let out after a while, making her sit back up to look at me.
"Mm, and your brother?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"He sent a text message to say congrats earlier." I explained as my hands kept running on her thighs. "You know we're gonna have to entertain our parents for a few days. That means we can't spend our days locked her to fuck anymore."
She laughed a bit and tilted her head. "I think we can take a few days break."
I frowned but shook my head, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "That's not what I meant, we can still have sex when we come back home, and if you're too exhausted I can do all the to work."
"I suspect you actually enjoy that." she laughed, making me smile more.
"Mm, maybe I do."
I pulled her closer and when her lips brushed against mine, I heard her whimper low. I slowly deepened the kiss just to taste her and she let me, moving as close to me as she could. I felt her ass rub on my thighs and groaned when it reached my cock.
"Maybe we should go to our room now, what d'you say?" I proposed in a whisper before kissing her more.
"Not yet." she murmured back, grabbing my upper lip between hers and sucking on it.
I felt myself get hornier and groaned low as I grabbed her waist and turned us around, laying her down on the couch. She let out a little scream and I quickly moved over her, smiling big.
"Fine then, we'll do it here."
We kissed a bit roughly and deeply for a while but when my hand slipped under her shirt, she quickly stopped me. "Niall wait, I have something for you first."
I frowned but even if I was curious, I definitely thought it could wait. Seeing her face though made me back away slightly and after a few seconds, I sat up and she did the same, pulling on her shirt to put it back in place.
Without a word, she reached for what she had put next to the couch and held me a white gift bag. I stared at it for a while and finally turned to her, a bit suspiciously.
"Did I miss something? An anniversary or something else that was important?"
She chuckled and shook her head, but I noticed how she was nervously playing with the fabric of her pants. "No, don't worry. I just wanted to give you a little something."
We just looked at each other for a while and I let my eyes roam on her face before finally take the colored tissues off the bag and dive my hand in it. I grabbed something and took it out but it took a few seconds for my brain to process everything. It was a piece of fabric, almost the same white as the bag but a bit lighter, and when I turned it around, I understood. On the front was written "my daddy is a rockstar" and somehow, I felt my heart jump so high in my chest I had to swallow it back.
"Petal." I whispered before turning to look at her. "Are you pregnant?"
Slowly, she nodded, her eyes never leaving mine, and I felt my heart jump for a second time. I blinked a few times, feeling tears coming to my eyes as a bunch of emotions flooded me. My eyes roamed on her and ended on her belly who looked exactly like it always did but when I looked up, I held my breath, realizing something.
"My mom knows."
She nodded slowly again. "She... she guessed it. I don't know how she knew, but she congratulated me earlier, at the party."
"You... you didn't drink?"
"Not a drip. I had soda." she explained, tilting her head and pressing her lips together. "I thought you had noticed."
I didn't answer, I just blinked again a few times before looking back at the small pajama I was holding. It seemed surreal and despite what I thought I would feel if it happened, I felt overly emotional but in a good way.
"I'm really gonna be a dad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and finally turning to my girlfriend who just nodded. I chuckled a bit, and then some more. "Fookin' hell."
"Are you happy?"
Her question was legit since we had had a pregnancy scare a few months earlier, but it seemed like so many things had happened in such a short period of time and now that my tour was over, I felt like it was a good time to jump into this.
"Honestly, Olivia..." I turned on the couch to face her and noticed she was holding her breath and tearing up. I moved closer and her eyes fluttered. I watched one single tear fall from her left one and cupped her face, brushing my thumb on her cheekbone to catch the tear. "I thought marrying you and finally being with you was the highest moments of my life. I honestly never thought I could be even happier than I already was. But you just made me the happiest man in the whole fookin' world, pet."
She let out a loud sigh of relief and I brought my lips against hers. "I love you so much, Olivia. I can't wait for that future with you. You and Me. This is just the beginning."
#niall horan#niall horan smut#niall horan fluff#niall horan fanfic#niall horan fan fic#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan fan fiction#niall horan story#niall horan writing#niall#niall smut#niall fluff#niall story#niall fanfic#niall fan fic#niall fanfiction#niall fan fiction#niall writing#my fanfics#yam#im super emotional rn
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GET TO KNOW ME TAG GAME
Before I start I would just like to say (tw alcohol for now and question 19) sorry for any spelling mistakes or if I ramble a little. To cut a long fuckin story short I mis read the measurements of my shot glasses and so instead of having two cocktails I’ve had the equivalent of four in the space of an hour and a half. Being british, im not gonna let a good drink go to waste either so im onto my third/sixth now.
Tagged by @clints-lucky-arrow (an actual goddess among us mortals)
1. Why did you choose your URL?
So this reason is two-fold. One, I didn’t watch star wars growing up because I was dumb and didn’t understand the politics (it wasn’t until my boyfriend sat me down and explained it literally in January of this year that I actually got it) but I loved Sci-fi and space so the next best thing was Treasure Planet (2003 film, Available on didney+) My favourite scene is the ending when Long John Silver (spoilers) is about leave before he can be arrested and Jim confronts him. Seeing how much his character has grown, Silver says to Jim, “Look at you, glowing like a silver fire. You’re something special, Jim. You’re gonna rattle the stars, you are.” It literally makes me tear up every single time I watch it and its one of my favourite lines of all time. Second, this was actually quoted in one of my favourite book series ‘Throne of glass’ by Sarah J Maas. I adore the character of Celeana and again one of my favourite quotes from TOG is when Queen Elena says to Celeana“ You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if only you dared.” Every time I read that line I literally get chills and I actually have plans to get this tattooed on me lmao
2. Any side blogs?
Yes my fanfic blog @second-stars-totheright (I like puns and I used to love peter pan)
3. How long have you been on tumblr?
I joined when I was 13 for the fanfiction and lurked for a very long time, just reblogging and liking things until I deleted it when I was 17. Re downloaded the app and got my account back back around February of this year (when I was 19, now 20) and since then I’ve found it much friendlier and actually interacted with people this time around, and actually started posting my work on here!
4. Do you have a queueue tag?
No. This is my general postings blog so I just kind of stick anything funny or worth keeping here, but I probably should make one!
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
As I said to read fanfiction (anyone wondering it was 5 seconds of summer fanfiction. Anyone who judges me in the comments its fair game 🥺) but I re-downloaded it this year because I noticed with my work on Wattpad, while I had some do really well (one has gotten 130k+ views) its very difficult to actually interact with readers and get feedback. I’ve only accumulated that high of a number after 5 years of it being on there, and so tumblr is just so much more personal!
6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
I did it this morning as I was getting tagged in this lmao. I wanted a cartoon girl who looked like me but because I had a specific colouring (ie my hair is black with a blonde streak at the front & my eyes have both blue and green segments because I have heterochromia) I couldn’t find any that looked like me so I recoloured a cartoon girl I found on pinterest.
7. Why did you choose you header?
The white clouds fit the stars theme and it looks pretty with the purple. ✨💜
8. Whats your post with the most notes?
“That girl is a problem | Javier Pena x Agent!Reader part 1” with 105 notes on my fanfic blog.
9. How many mutuals do you have?
I am still a little tumblr idiot when it comes to this so if someone could tell me how to find out I'll edit this
10. How many followers do you have?
72 on here, 107 on my fanfic blog (AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU ACROSS BOTH OF THEM MWAH, MWAH KISSES FOR YOU ALL 💜💜💜)
11. How many people do you follow?
165 (it was 700+ but the other day I unfollowed a bunch of accounts that haven’t been active since I followed them when I was 13. There were LOTS)
12. Have you ever made a shit post?
I mean all you have to do is look at the Nomad memes I make (UNAPOLOGETICALLY I might add 😤) for @clints-lucky-arrow to know I absolutely have. That series has a hold over me im telling you. I black out when I start reading and I awake with a bunch of meme editing apps open and my feelings tugged at from her amazing writing.
13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?
If I’m with my boyfriend which is like two days a week, rarely, but now I’ve finished uni, I’m on here all the god damn time. I feel so comfy and safe interacting with you all, not to mention some of you guys are funny as hell.
14. Did you have a fight with a blog once?
Not really on here, I haven’t received any hate luckily but I prefer not to spoil how comfy I am here with arguing.
15. How do you feel about ‘you need to re-blog this’ posts?
I’m a little confused by this I dunno whether I’ve just never come across any like this or if Stars is being a bimbo on the tl again. However, I only reblog things I’d like to keep for future reference or if something deserves to be shared to everyone else like a fic rec or a piece of art. (As Mack said, I’ve re-blogged so many in the past promising me money or luck and I am still broke as shit so what does that tell you).
16. Do you like tag games?
Yes!! I love reading everyone elses and getting to know my mutals better!
17. Do you like ask games?
Again yesss because it means I get to send love to my mutuals and get to know them better! I tend to not participate though just read their responses because I sometimes feel like I’m bugging people clogging their inboxes even though I know that’s the point idk I’m a hell of an over thinker sometimes 🥳
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
It’s been said before but @clints-lucky-arrow (wow you rlly owning this post bby girl) but I just remember lurking on Nomad early February and liking and reblogging her chapters so I could keep them to re-read cause that’s how much I instantly loved it and when she followed me I realised who she was and lowkey had a starstruck moment bcus id been ciaght up in her work for weeks and too nervous to make contact. Also @arduadastra, I saw her work all over the pedro tags for so long and now I’ve gotten to know her she is the sweetest girl!! We usually fan over Javier Pena gifs together, she’s solely responsible for ‘That girl is a problem’ bcus of her gif sending at 1am giving me Javi thots and now it’s my most successful one on my blog. And most recently @pedrosgirlx followed me this morning and her work is genuinely some of the best I've seen on here, as I said this morning it is the Sistine Chapel ceiling of Mando art it is actually jaw dropping!! I cant believe all these creators are rlly giving us this content for free and yet being so talented AND the nicest people I’ve ever met!!
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
No, although I hold a lot of them dearly as friends. 15/10 would treat you lovelies to a drink of your choice if we ever met (any of you from the uk who drink I’d get you a pitcher from Whetherspoons)
20. Absolutely no pressure tags:
anyone who wants to join! a lot of people I would have tagged have already posted theirs so go for it if you like the look of it!
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saeran after end after thought
it took me a ducking month and some change because i had to farm hourglasses. when i started playing i kept getting the bad ends and i got so frustrated i didn’t touch the app for two weeks. i had to consult a guide to finally reach the end.
i wanted to play this because i needed to see where jihyun ended up and... well... we all know what happened there. anyway...
i have many thoughts and feelings about this ae. i don’t know if i can ever properly organise them, but i’ll put it in bullet points for now. this is my personal feelings, not any kind of fact. i have nothing against nearly anything and anyone (character or real) involved in this game. i’ll always love and appreciate them for being in this game, for creating this game, for giving us something to love for the past four or five years.
these thoughts are rather unfiltered. this is me coming out hours after finishing the ae. i might change my mind after letting it marinate for a while and after reading up some more about it.
it’s all under the cut. it’s long and rambling. there’s no need to read this, really; the ae is a month old after all, but i just needed to get this out. also, it’s salty as hell. literally saltier than the dead sea. it will dehydrate you... best to not bother with this.
also spoilers.
1. during the first playthrough the game mechanics were wonderful, novel, and immersive. but years later and for the sake of an ae? unnecessary. it’s too long. it’s too much work. i did my due when i played the game during ray’s route. why do i also have to work for something that should have been my reward? why do i still have to worry about hearts, choices, and game branches? why do i have to go through multiple endings? it’s an after end. it’s after the ending.
of course i love new content, i love more content, but not like this. and i know i sound super entitled. if i was impatient i should have justt read the wiki, but i wanted the experience, but not this specific experience. lucky it’s the pandemic and i have more time on my hands, but in normal circumstances my life is very different from what it was in 2016. i can’t be waiting for chats and making plans around it to get to the after ending. honestly i expected something like the secret ends or even similar to the style of jihyun’s ae... but no. apparently, chertiz thinks it’s fun to make us spend three and a half days to reach an AFTER END.
2. saeran choi needs love... but, in my opinion, not ours. not mc’s. the love he needs is his brother’s. the person he needs most is saeyoung choi. he’s suffered so much, endured many things no person should ever endure. of course he deserves romantic love, but i feel like he needed to recover first. that’s why after all this im firmly in the very bare, maybe even empty camp of preferring secret end saeran choi over ray route saeran choi.
3. never in my life has a game made me exhausted about the act of forgiveness. i feel a little sick. it’s terrible to say that, i know, but i am just so emotionally exhausted. there is this heavy feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry because i feel like i somehow destroyed a part of myself?
first it’s the saviour in jihyun’s ae. it’s still her in this ae. but in addition to that there’s also the prime minister? when does it stop? at this point we might as well forgive the twins’ mother too. she imprisoned her own sons to benefit from their father; beat the shit out of and starved saeran to the point that he wanted to die, but there must be a reason behind it, right? like all the villains in this game her choices are not her own; they are the product of their circumstances and we have to understand that.
i just... i understand what cheritz is trying to convey here. and granted saeyoung is not as forgiving, but this isn’t his story. it felt like the forgiveness was nearing some extreme by the end of it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong if you’e unable to forgive. if the only way for you to move forward is to not do so i feel that’s valid. as long as you’re not hurting anyone and that you’re not hurting yourself, you do whatever you need to recover. forgiving is not the only way, the noble way. not everyone’s backstory you have to understand and take into consideration in order to move on. even if they realise what they did was wrong, it’s okay not to forgive. sometimes that’s what we need to take care of ourselves.
im rambling on this point, but im going through this currently. it’s not as extreme as the choi twins or the rfa, but all my life i’ve been forgiving and understanding and it chipped away at me. even at my expense i forgave everything and it landed me in a place im struggling to get out of. i needed justice and this ae didn’t give me a bit of that... at least not in the way i needed.
4. cheritz said this is the grand finale, but... it didn’t feel like it? again this is me being entitled, but i expected something more. something bigger. something poignant because after this mystic messenger is over. i expected some kind of epilogues in the form of story modes. of course i appreciate everything the company has done, especially the efforts of the writers, artists, voice actors, and everyone, but... it’s so rushed? it such a short farewell that instead of getting catharsis and satisfaction i felt... drained. and i feel sad that it’s all over because im not ready to say goodbye and that goodbye is far too short for me.
i don’t know im just sad it’s all over.
also, the conclusion they come to is the dissolution of the rfa once everyone found their happy ending. i... this is a group that has been through some shit and that doesn’t make them closer somehow? the rfa app lies neglected and abandoned as everyone moves on with their lives? that is so... lonely? at least for me.
i mean, of course, not all endings have to be necessarily happy in the “everyone gets together once a week for dinners” kind, but i just... i dont know i expected them to be closer somehow. maybe they are. maybe outside the app they’re all closer, but... i don’t know. i feel sad they’re abandoning the app.
5. and then there’s kim jihyun.
and im... i dont know anymore. if you know me, follow me, or have read any of my fics you know im a jihyun fan. i love that man and YES i know his sins. we all do.
as i played the ae i started to hope that he’d die in the end instead of suffering through this egregious character assassination. yes, i literally preferred that he died and that i go through that pain instead of suffering whatever this is. obviously i dont want him to die, but this is like killing him anyway. they killed the essence of him, who he is as a person. hell, they probably killed him already and just installed a stranger in the ae because that v is not our v. all throughout the game he’s been kind and compassionate and selfless. his whole thing is about protecting the rfa, the mc, saving the saviour, and sacrificing himself for them. this is the idiot who gives you his hearts when you’re being actively nice to his abuser and saeran in his route. his ultimate happy ending involves everyone being happy, reunited, and given the proper mental care. he went away for two years, putting a much needed pause in your budding relationship, not only to recover from his trauma, but also to rescue saeran and help him recover too.
yes, v enabled the saviour even before another story. he lied. he put everyone in danger. he’s reckless and he keeps secrets way more than what’s natural. but he will never let any of them come to harm. my memory is fuzzy but im sure he never lets the rfa get in danger. he was devastated when yoosung got injured. he also tried to rescue seven and mc in the secret ends thats why he got shot. this guy always looks out for everyone.
in what world is he okay with drugging the twins? making deals with the villains? the idea of trapping the twins in the saviour’s delusional, twisted family life? he’s not the type to be okay just standing there when his best friend’s life is falling apart or for even causing it. when zen, jaehee, and yoosung get backed into the corner he wouldn’t have been just idle. but in this ae all he does is play stacking chairs, buy strawberry yoghurt, and echo the saviour’s words like a puppet. he asks only mc to save herself and like... jesus christ he never gets a break. he doesn’t even get the same gesture of forgiveness everyone and their father gets. he goes through a trial and jail, which is fair enough, but he’s also a victim of abuse and suffering and despair and mental illness. but somehow because it’s v it’s okay that this is all he gets. somehow he doesn’t deserve any compassionate resolution.
literally the only time he’s happy is his route and after end and even then that happiness is not his own. even then there were concessions to be made before he could get it.
seriously. it seems like cheritz hates him. they think little to nothing of him. if that’s the case why even make content for him? he’s not even meant to be romanceable in the original stories. they could’ve just ignored the petitions and left him as a side character. i mean, i dont know if i prefer that honestly, i do appreciate the content we got, but as his fan it hurts to see all this half-hearted decisions. and to see all this hate still pouring out for him, now magnified because of this ae.
this is like a tiring odyssey, starting way back when he got shot and killed all because he loved someone. he loved the wrong person and it’s the wrong kind of love and he committed his crimes because of it. he had a hand in making the rfa and mc suffer, but still all he did was love. and i know that sounds blind and naive and ignorant and im sorry for not picking up the nuances of his relationship with the saviour, but that’s all i saw. i saw a guy loving the wrong person and it made him make all the wrong choices leading to a bad life.
gah. i am drained people. i am drained, and frustrated, and tired.
#jihyun kim#mystic messenger#tag this please#im sorry for this#i dont know why im apologising#i guess for my thoughtless rambles#it became a rant#this is all unfiltered#dont bother reading im just ranting#ive had like an hour sleep today because reasons#anyway thats not an excuse or anything#ANYWAY these are just stupid thoughts#i had to let it out
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